#And I will become good at art and actually start posting
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This is such a nice idea! Thanks for doing this!
I'm nominating @thatndginger because more people should be reading Into The Storm and The Runaway! They're both so good! Their characters are incredibly well drawn and the dialogue is satisfyingly snappy! Links can be found on their writeblr intro post.
I'd also like to toss my name into the hat!
I write and post a serial fiction with my co-writer @touloser-lautrec (who also does all the artwork) called Sunset. It's a story in three volumes: Sunrise (posted), High Noon (currently releasing), and Sunset (in beta). You can find a blurb and some worldbuilding posts in my writeblr intro.
Sunset follows an LGBTQIA+ ensemble cast of characters with superpowers that are way more trouble than they're worth, through a slow-build arc of found family in Volume 1--and then through action, adventure, espionage/intrigue, romance, and monster-hunting in Volume 2.
We have a Sunset Patreon where patrons get issues and art early, as well as exclusive artwork, bonus scenes, high-res images, and physical gift packages.
Sunset is also posted on Royal Road and AO3 a week after Patreon.
We have a Kofi and a small Discord community.
And my co-writer @touloser-lautrec's amazing artwork!
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If people are looking for a queer science-fantasy/urban-fantasy story that they won't run out of soon--our page count is currently: 2,348.
It's expansive. The storylines may start out feeling separate but as the story goes on, it becomes more and more apparent how interlinked all the characters' actions are. My co-writer and I have been working on Sunset for over 15 years now and just got up the nerve to start sharing it in 2023, so we've had time to really develop this slow-burn story.
It's sort of writer-culture to talk badly about our own work, but I'm actually really proud of how Sunset has come out.
I know queer slow-burn turned action/adventure with cult-like mega corps and oops-all-grey-morality and complicated/questionable relationship dynamics and sadistic telepaths and religious monster hunter collectives and spies and weird superpowers and grief and heads of HR who have a pet hamster named Baguette that they are desperately trying to make the company's official mascot--is not everyone's cup of tea.
But I think it could be a couple people's cup of tea.
Writeblr Weekly
Hello, all. This hopeful purpose of this account is to highlight a different writer every week here. If you’re a writer and have work you’d like have shared, please interact with this post. You are encouraged to share links to anything and everything writing related. Snippets, chapters, websites, character intros, kofis and patreons, playlists, moodboards. All of it! So many writers on here don’t get the attention they deserve, so let’s give it to them!!
#If shaking a box full of screwed up telepaths sounds like a good time; Sunset might be for you! xD#As a disabled writer; Sunset is my only income so I appreciate any support more than I can say!
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Them kids I be finding on anything related to art... Wtf r yall feeding yo kids, I need that shit or at least a tutorial.
YOUR KIDS R HUMBLING MY ASS-
#Delete later#I just-#Like I'm not a petty bitch I swear BUT cmon wdym ur 11?? Or 16??#LIKE HOW AND WHEN??#SOBBING#TEACH ME UR WAYS#It's okay yall#2025 IS MY YEAR#And I will become good at art and actually start posting#I WILL BE COOKING FOR YALL HEHEHE#So much ladynoir art will be served >:))))))))))?#I love them#*falls onto the floor*#kai talks
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another failed sneaking attempt
#i didnt even have this written down as an idea#i just started drawing cause i was bored and here we are#i think this is the most effort ive put into a multi panel post yet#purple text on a grey background is very difficult to make look good so sorry if it hurts your eyes#getting better with expressions i thhink. no longer hate myself whenever i do that downturned mouth thing on uzi#and head shape im a lot happier with the rounded square kinda head shape i see in all the md art i like#forgot to draw on ns sketchpad in the last panel. woopsies#theyd probably have a little bit of trauma regarding the solver stuff but like#theres no way in hell uzi is turning down the ability to become a sick as hell nightmare worm#for all its evil stuff the solver was edgy as hell and i think she would be totally on board with that#honestly i think i just wanted an excuse to draw solver worm stuff#i doodled it a bit ago and liked the way it came out so i wanted to draw it more#my hand is cramping im wrapping this up#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#murder drones n#serial designation n#the worm bit in the final panel is solely because i remembered i can use gausian blur to give the illusion of depth or whatever#never actually tried that before i think so here i am#oh yeah uhh#nuzi#i guess. i think this counts#im not well versed in the Fandom Rules
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She hears him calling her name as she flees down the spiral staircase, almost tripping over her feet in her rush to get away from him, but he catches up quickly, reaching out to grab her arm in an attempt to slow her down. She stops running immediately - she supposes her traitorous body wants to see what he has to say, or maybe it just wants to bask in his intoxicating proximity. He crowds her space, and she sees that unfamiliar look in his eyes again. So very different from the cold disdain she had seen the last time she had been this close to him, during the argument that had ended their friendship.
Oh, Merlin, he's getting closer to her, and she can now clearly see the freckles dusting his cheeks and nose and forehead and then before she knows it, his hand is sliding up her arm, leaving goosebumps everywhere he touches and then he's caressing her jaw with his rough thumb and he pauses. Her eyelids flutter closed as her head tilts towards him - she couldn't stop herself even if she wanted to (what does she want?). She can feel his warm breath ghosting over her lips and she has the improbable, ridiculous thought - how is he remembering to breathe? - before he speaks. His lips brush against hers with every soft word and a deep shiver runs through her body.
"I," she hears him say, his voice so, so low, "haven't been able to think since last week."
That's all she needs to hear, the brush of his bottom lip against hers all she needs to feel, to push her into closing what minuscule distance there is between them and then his lips are on hers and it's better than anything she's been imagining. His mouth is soft against hers, insistent, and her hands go up to grip the collar of his plaid jacket to make sure he doesn't go away or disappear on her.
from my oneshot💘
#attempt number 2 at digital art🫶#also I AM BLOWN AWAY THAT YOU ALL LIKE THIS SILLY LITTLE ONESHOT SO MUCH😭💓😭💓🫂#it was just super self indulgent exactly what I wanted to read#but I’m SO HAPPY YOU LIKE IT TOO🥹🥹🥹#it took me FOREVER to write bc I am a slowpoke#I maybe started it end of august/beginning of September??#also it coincided perfectly bc today is my 6 year anniversary with the love of my life :’)🥹💓#I’ve just been mushy these days bahahahahahahaha#so to post the most romantic thing I’ve written to date😆 not including my fanfic…which will get more romantic eventually…#anyways with digital I’m still not convinced but with writing more combined with no daylight to traditionally paint (🥲) it’s fun#to experiment#and you can see my journey as i actually become good at it🫶#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart#sebastian sallow x mc
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I AM AT MY LIMIT
Snoopy #90
30/12/2024
description under the cut
[description: a cartoon-style drawing of Snoopy's head. Snoopy is a white dog with black ears. His eyes are shut and his mouth is a horizontal line. There are two large blue teardrops, one under each eye. The text "I am at my limit" is handwritten across the top of the image.]
#peanuts#snoopy#art#90#based on that emoji face meme but i can't find the original ANYWHERE#at least not the entire image unedited. other than on like redbubble listings but i don't want to link those haha#if someone has a link to it please send it to me!! so i can link it in the post. thanks :)#also i have decided to start doing descriptions for each image (which i have been meaning to do for a while)#now that people actually follow this blog and interact with it and stuff#tbh i should've started doing them a long time ago#but the idea of retroactively going back to every post and adding a description kept putting me off... which is silly because it's only#gonna become more work the longer i leave it. so you know. just gotta start doing it#i will endeavour to add a description to all the previous snoopys of the day soon 🤞#anyway i made this because i sent a friend the original emoji image (taken from a redbubble screenshot LOL)#because we have been trying to book a place to stay for a group trip (6 people)#and like i did all the research and made a list to start us off (while letting people know they could add to the list) and sent that around#and made a poll for people to vote for their preferred place#and some people in the group have been taking FOREVER to respond with their opinions about accommodation#like to the point where all the other good places on the list have been booked up now and there is just one left#which luckily is the one with the most votes#and today i was like (about to book that one) ok well before i book i'm just checking that everyone is ok with these dates?#and some of them were like ohhh actually no. we haven't booked our flights yet so we're not sure which days exactly we'll be there#WHAT DO YOU MEAN!#in fairness i should've checked that we were all on the same page about dates beforehand#but like. the trip is literally in like 5 weeks AND during a public holiday like omfggggggg everywhere is gonna be booked out#do you know how hard it is to find accommodation for 6 people#and i don't even know the people who haven't been responding/haven't booked their flights/whatever#they're friends of a friend (who will also be coming on the trip) and i know nothing about them#i think i would be a lot less annoyed if it was just my friends because we would've just hopped on a call and sorted everything out in like#one night. otherwise we know + trust each other enough to make decisions for each other if we can't/don't want to be involved in planning
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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An old(ish) doodle page of my favorite guys :)
#finally worked up the courage to start posting my art on here thanks to all of the votes on the poll!#these are just doodles ive done when im bored during class (uni) or just bored in general#pls excuse the lined paper! drawing on nice/lineless paper freaks me out bcs of the pressure to make it look good so lined is easier rn#maybe ill actually give digital art a shot soon... i have an ipad with procreate installed practically collecting dust on my desk rn#but yeah!#here are my guys :)#dbh#detroit become human#detroit become human fanart#dbh fanart#doodles#my doodles#my art#fanart#mine
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[Image description: A digital painting of Jimmy Cooper from the film Quadrophenia. He's at the centre of the piece. His hands are clasped together and his face - which is looking to the side, past the audience - is resting upon them slightly. He hunched into himself, hands pulled closed and his green parka jacket dwarfing him, as if he's drowning in it. His mouth his set and his eyes are squinted as his eyebrows begin to pull together. He seems tired, and his hair is messed up. Jimmy's skin uses warmer colours - although it primarily uses yellows and beiges - while his jacket is mostly colder blues and greens. His hair is comprised of colder tones too, with mostly blues and purples, with some greens are browns. The background is a light blue, with scratchy concentric circles drawn around Jimmy using a slightly darker blue.]
Inktober - Day 13 (Horizon)
Film - Quadrophenia (Franc Roddam, 1979)
#inktober#inktober 2024#quadrophenia#jimmy cooper#quadrophenia fanart#jimmy cooper fanart#digital art#🥰🥰🥰🥰#i think over the next couple of days my current phil daniels obssession that started a few months ago is gonna become uhhh#very apparent#🥰#and also when inktober is over i have some more jimmy drawings to post 👍👍👍#anyway ive watched quadrophenia 3 times now (which is a lot since i tend not to rewatch things too much)#so am a bit obsessed 🤏#ummmm so good i love the vibes i love the way the subculture is shown and then cracks apart#jimmy is such a wet rat i love him 🙏🙏🙏#teen angst of all time truly#(i am willing to talk so much abour quadrophenia hmu 🙏🙏)#also the soundtrack (as in the actual og album lol) has really grown on me#sooooo#song of the day is love reign o'er me by the who#duh#i do love the song although i have different faves (its pretty close tho)#but i thought itd fit the prompt and the scene i drew the best
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oh my god i just finished the dark forest finally. 7/10 i suppose, i went through the first half or so of the book being really annoyed by luo ji but also enjoying the chapters where he shows up because unfortunately he was entertaining. still don't understand the imaginary girlfriend thing, it just feels like he needs someone to protect from the world which like ??? ok sure i guess, it just rubs me the wrong way personally. for the second half and especially the end i became luo ji's number one defender it's fine. for the rest, holy crap—the droplet, the microcosm of the universe on those runaway ships, the wallfacer project, luo ji drawing from rey diaz's plan, the attitude of the world towards him, the entire theory... wow
#i dont even know my brain's exploding#i don't think it's an incredibly great plot per se but it's enough to keep me interested and the concepts are interesting and thats enough#again shi qiang the mandatory emotional support. i was so touched when he said goodbye to luo ji even tho it was just a false alarm#also dongfang yanxu (btw her name??? homophone for 'the east lives on'??) and those two other captains using just their eyes to#communicate just like zhuang yan imagined... ough and then all that destruction#三体#tbh was reminded of the trisolarians when zhang beihai started waxing on about the new morals the new humanity might have#make judgements without feeling and yet it killed him in the end#generally the moment luo ji wakes up and is almost killed 6 times (kind of funny tbh) shit literally just kept happening#also @ great depression 2. like the great ravine or smth? idk it felt close to cultural rev 2. greenpeace as a 人奸 organization💀💀💀💀💀💀#the aesthetics of trisolarians are great tho. first the droplet then the giant signaling device they send#so beautiful its something humans can't even imagine is a nice description. reminds me illogically of eschers art#王明军 the audiobook reader needs like 10 million awards actually. i feel like i didn't really think abt it when listening to book 1#but his voice and narration is really good he reads with feeling which is incredible for when i dont want to keep reading#my post#i was very touched at the end tho he really said i'll become an alcoholic#the wallfacer project and its tolls on the saviors of the world or something#also a surprising amount of christianity references i feel#idk tho#three body problem#main gripes were that the switching of perspectives bored me lol the three retired old grandpas were alright#but i was bored out of my mind at zhang beihai's pov before shit started going down sorry dude#it annoys me how grandpas + chang weisi and all those other people kind of just get written out but i suppose this is not the target f#for science fiction anyways??
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im so disappointed in my art lately . im not a beginner artist, but i feel like everything i do looks like i am . i feel like it would only be acceptable for a beginner . i havent made any progress since i was 11 . today is not a good day
#artist problems? except i barely even count as an artist atp#non serious vent sorry#i dont usually textpost because i much prefer just sticking it in the tags and hoping i forget about it#but i dont have anything to post. i literally have not been able to make anything at all.#does any other artist feel like this?#i know everyone says they feel like this but i cant decide if its comforting or condescending#all the other artists say “oh i hate my art!” when their art is good because its just the artists eye or whatever its called#and on one hand its comforting because everyone hates their art#but on the other hand its so discouraging because if you hate your art so much#how does mine look? how bad is mine?#i dont like talking abt weed bc its kinda weird for a 14 year old but i feel like the only times i can draw without crying -#- is when im high#i dont know i need to take a break or something#might focus on writing but everything is just so frustrating to me lately#i cant promise literally anything anymore because everytime i get excited to create its just GONE so fast#becaus i cant like anything i make#i keep searching for some kind of art advice that will actually help but i never can figure out how to apply it#and most of it is just “keep practicing!” as if i havent been practicing since i was 8 years old#i feel like at this point i have to just start all the way over but i dont even know how#at this point i would rather art regress than keep churning out the same mediocre garbage ive been drawing since 2022#and its not even that im pressuring myself to draw. its that all my art has just looked the same for so long and im so frustrated#i literally cannot draw anything without crying anymore its really upsetting#anyway sorry for the negativity on main :( this blog has kinda become my diary and im just an overdramatic teenager or whatever i dont know
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I’ve been finally getting to working on design concepts for my iterator ocs from Slivers local group, so here’s Stars. She is sooooo normal (lying)
#keese draws#oc posting#oc art#oc#ocs#rain world#rainworld#iterator oc#rain world oc#as the eldest of the group along with being on the older end of iterators in general her puppet is a bit clunky#staring at it sitting still it looks fine but the second she starts moving it becomes clear it was made with too heavy parts#the plating on her arms and neck in particular tend to be problems since they tend to get stuck#this is a particularly annoying problem with her since she moves around a Lot and pre great ascension was basically constantly spinning#around in her chamber and had to be checked on and fixed up frequently#she didn’t mind though since she loved her city and the ppl in it dearly and would often actively seek out opportunities to talk to the#m more#she was one of the first to notice the great ascension was happening and she understandably freaked the hell out#in fact this fucked her up so bad that it actually resulted in a good amount of physical damage due to all of that stress#after that she became a lot more bitter and closed off from the rest of her group and sliver by extension#I’ve already written abt all of this before ofc so I won’t go into much more detail#but yeah she eventually shut off her communications and didn’t open them again until long after sliver was dead
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Today I learned that there's a limit to the number of notes you can put in a post.
hm actually i made a joke poll like this a while back but now im genuinely curious
#I'm honestly not sure. There's a good chance I'd continue to want to be a historian and teacher like I'm studying to become#but I also love writing so maybe I'd want to stick to doing that full time and writing books and stories#maybe I'd want to be a librarian#or even start a cafe#or a library cafe#maybe I'd become a philosopher#who fucking knows!#The whole point is that everyone's needs will be met you can pursue your passions and contribute according to their abiloty to do so#I think I'd take up some intellectual work#Become a scholar#History and Philosophy and Gender/sexuality Studies and whatever else picked my interest#Consume and produce knowledge#And throw myself into learning literature and writing books#I think some people forget that entertainment would still exist in the leftist commune#movies books video games etc wouldnt stop being made#But rather people would work on them for passion rather than profit#Idk Im just rambling at this point#but like I feel like people underestimate how much capitalism warps their way of thinking#like the very idea of the post feels like “oh if you could do art and hobbies in ur free time what would you do as ACTUAL work”#which is such abhorrent mentality that I feel is cultivated by capitalist culture#these things CAN be what you make your life's work and dedicate yourself to#But without the constraints of capitalism#without worrying about whether becoming a writer will mean not being able to afford rent#without the capitalist social stigma around productivity#ALL trades would be important and seen as valuable as they really are#Like the line between “work” and “hobby” would be very muddied#because we see lots of things that dont generate profit in capitalism but are still valuable work as “hobbies” and give them no social valu#I saw a lot of notes in the post like “oh Id WANT to do this” but maybe I should do something actually useful like farming#which is NOT how I think we should be looking at this! its a world of possibilities and EVERYTHING you do is useful and good for society#even if not productive by capitalist standards or doesnt produce an actual physical thing
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this is your periodic reminder that for all the artifacts and errors and "tells" one could possibly list, the only reliable way to actually determine if an image is ai generated is to investigate the source. it is becoming increasingly common for "fake classical paintings" to circulate around curative aesthetic blogs, and everyone should be using this as an opportunity to not only exercise their investigative skills but also appreciate art more in general. you're all checking out the artists you reblog, right? 🫣
so what are some signs to look for? let's use this very good example.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/738467fddb77afeae97c6b2e711fddec/f7ed7426141204d9-d2/s540x810/82d27b3c7f69dc94fb80582526282483cb611f82.jpg)
what a lovely late-impressionist piece blended with evocative leyendecker-esque themes! why haven't you ever heard of this artist before? surely tumblr would be all over an artist like this. who is justin brown?
your two options from here are to do a search for the name, or a reverse image search. i prefer reverse image searching, particularly when it comes to a common name like "justin brown". so what does that net?
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a4f76226fa196a88f4d9e82e8ec358a3/f7ed7426141204d9-8a/s540x810/f2fda39f95966ac6be7bbf3eaffdcc3956f68496.jpg)
Immediately, without looking at any text, something is wrong: it barely exists. an actual historical piece would turn up numerous results from websites individually discussing the piece, but no such discussions are taking place. Looking at the text, though, does show the source-- and at least in this case, the creator was honest about their medium.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/74360ac3cb9ed999d69a565e4f720780/f7ed7426141204d9-f8/s250x250_c1/3868e6dd1ceb5f4d4120540b094682ae9ddd065d.jpg)
But let's also look at the "exact matches", in case a source doesn't make itself apparent in the initial sidebar results like this.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/656b524166e1db2617e4a067b3ebece8/f7ed7426141204d9-8e/s540x810/9c154d9be1f95c2bd025fda39117b5547d626e61.jpg)
This section will often tell you post dates of images, and here it can be seen that the very first iteration of the image was posted 15 days ago. It did not exist online prior to that.
Seeing how long an unsourced image has been floating around is a skill applicable to more than just generative images! See a cool image of an artifact or other intriguing item with a vivid caption? Reverse search it! If all the results are paired with that caption and only go back a few months, you might just have viral facebook spam.
Sometimes generative creators are dishonest about their medium and do not tag it like in the example, so that's when establishing "jpeg provenance" becomes important. While it can be a little trickier to determine if someone is using generative images and not admitting to it if they aren't trying to pass it off as a classic, something to consider is the age of their account and the frequency with which they post. Here are some account red flags:
-Did they only start posting art after 2022, or if they did before, did their style/skill level WILDLY change? Not gradual improvement-- I'm talking amateur graphite portraits straight into complex digital renders. Everyone starts somewhere, newness is not a red flag alone; it's newness combined with existing in a vacuum away from any community.
-Do they post fully-finished paintings several times a week? -Do many of these paintings seem iterative of a similar theme or subject matter ("three well-dressed young men face each other under shade and dappled sunlight")?
-Does their style change in inconsistent ways? An artist that can swap between painting like Drew Struzan and Hokusai should be pretty well known, right? Why is no one hyping this guy?!
-Do they have social media besides the source instagram? If so, what are they posting about? Are there any WIPs? Doodles? Interactions with other artists? Gallery dates? 3am self-doubt posts? Or is it all self-promo? Crypto? Seemingly nothing art-related at all for someone pushing out 3 weekly paintings?
Basically, if it's important to you to omit this stuff when you curate, please don't just smash reblog if the source doesn't seem to be the OP themselves. Seeking out sources was important even before this became an issue, now it is more than ever.
peace n love
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well i haven't spilled my guts on tumblr since i was in college but it's the platform that's felt The Most Mine thru the years, so
let's talk!
i've had a huge chip on my shoulder that i wanted off before the year ends. very bad professional experience to follow
so firstly to get ahead of the speculating, i'm not naming names or anything. some of you will puzzle out who i'm talking about, but please don't bother anyone especially not on my behalf. i've worked hard to distance myself from them the past few months. shit happens, especially when you're a dumb bitch (that's me!)
but also this person was someone i considered a close friend and it makes me uneasy to possibly direct backlash at them. "then why post about it" bc i did intermittent work for them for over a year. this is just about that. so hear me out
basically it started off fine. i initially did some commission work for good pay, then was invited to become more involved with their team. unfortunately as i became more involved with their operation it became more disorganized over time. projects started then forgotten, constantly shifting schedules, lapsing communication between roles, confusing financials, and often inconsistent if not late payments. during mid 2023 i was doing colorist work, sometimes on a one day turnaround (all while also preparing drawfee's summer merch launch). the payroll wasn't set up correctly so i wasn't paid for that work for over a year (more on that later), tho to be fair that was largely my own fault at first as i just didnt realize the payments didn't go thru lol
i always consider myself decently capable of separating friendship and coworker-ship; i run a company with 4 wonderful friends, going strong for almost 5 years. that didn't really work out in this case. by early this year our friendship was on the rocks; work issues fed into personal issues and vice versa. so as the rest of this shit plays out, we had just had our first "big fight" which i felt very bad about and added to all the upcoming tension
a huge point of friction was the fact that i really wanted to work with them to make a music video for one of their songs. i've always wanted a chance to make a music video, was confident in a concept i came up with, and even did some concept art for the idea. everyone insisted they loved the concept and that we should do it, but we kept pushing it back for various reasons. it ended up becoming a huge sticking point for my frustrations, which i tried to express productively. TLDR, we eventually got around to discussing it seriously around april.
i planned to ask for $4000 with negotiable add-on for the whole project, which was my Friend Discount price. i was offered a contract for $1000 flat rate, as they insisted that was the only budget they had for it.
don't ask me why i signed it lol. i didn't even counter offer
there was some girlmath to it: i wanted an extra 1k for a student scholarship i provide every spring and well, there it was. but if i had to guess, i saw it as something i just couldn't back down from any more. i caused these folks- my friends- a lot of problems bc i dug my heels in so deep to chase this project, so fuck it we ball
i had about 4 months to solo a 3 minute music video. they wanted it done in august so they could release it before summer ended, bc "it was a summer song". to be fair i was asked if i needed them to pay for anything extra like assistants (which i would have to find and manage) but i was so immediately overwhelmed that i didn't wanna slow down to wait on that process lol. there was very minimal communication other than brief progress check-ins every few weeks. i did everything for that project myself: the original concept, character designs, storyboards, layouts, backgrounds. i even did the editing/compositing for the final cut of the MV. the only favor i did myself was limiting the amount of it that was actually animated to simple loops and motions. hardly my best work but it was work still done
i did it all in between my full time job. i ended up having to take nearly a month away from most of my drawfee duties (with the support of the others) to make the august deadline. i only ever asked for a 3 day extension (notice given about a week in advance, around the same time i was given the final song file lol). i finished the music video at 6am on the final deadline and recorded drawfee the next day on 2 hours of sleep
but it was done, coolies. the team was very happy with the final product. honestly, without getting into it, those were a very emotionally taxing 4 months. on the professional side, i regretted agreeing to the project and especially for the dogshit rate they offered. i felt like a hypocrite- as someone who always wanted to advocate for younger artists demanding their worth in a world that's getting increasingly hostile toward creatives, i failed myself
so when i met with the manager to discuss the release plan, i told them to do whatever worked best for them as i only had one request: i wanted my credit removed from the project
tbh... like... lmao this dramatic bitch right!! but really, i decided that bad practices only breed worse business. friends or not, it was unprofessional of me to accept such a low paying job so i just didn't want my name used in association. everything felt so muddled to me and i was just really tired at this point
the manager was very understanding and then offered that i could be paid more. they said that their team "was surprised" i accepted their low rate and they would be happy to up the amount. this confused me as the initial budget seemed pretty set and at no point between april and august was i offered a better rate. i knew these guys weren't made of money. so, i declined. i didn't want to put anyone out of their means over work that was already done and agreed upon. but more importantly, i was over the whole thing and didn't want to prolong the project with a contract renegotiation. i just insisted my name be removed
they decided to use a pseudonym (which i was fine with) so they could create a story about a character who made the MV (this sounds really convoluted but i don't know how better to put it without getting specific, sorry). that way if people asked about the credit, they could speak comfortably about it without signaling that something went wrong behind the scenes. ok, kind of a silly narrative imo but whatevs. and maybe this is where i finally went truly wrong but. yolo i guess
i gave the name "D. Smithee", D as in dilfosaur and Smithee as in Alan Smithee. look it up for fun film trivia ig! was it passive aggressive of me to reference that in this context? yeah, honestly. but i thought it was kinda funny and really not that deep. if it was a problem, i have other real, non-cheeky pseudonyms i regularly use. the manager accepted it and all i had to do was wait for them to post the video and i could leave the whole experience behind me
a week later i received a message from the manager that my pseudonym had been denied by the rest of the team bc one of them got the reference. fair enough lol. however, they decided that rather than ask for a different name, the were going to make one up for me that they liked and would "fit the [story]", without asking me
and that! is when i finally snapped!
i was so tired of giving them concessions at this point and having a credit made up for me without any input from me felt genuinely violating and unethical. i started to Panic bc of how stressed i was, and asked for my overdue payments (aka the $500 still owed on the MV, and the colorist rate from a year prior that was never paid even tho i reported it in january) to be scheduled ASAP as i was leaving the work discord immediately
i finally told them off for exploiting me throughout the months while i kept trying to just be nice and finish my contact cleanly. in return i was told that it was unfair to say that as i agreed to everything- i accepted their cheap rate and denied further payment so that was all settled, and it was ok to change my credit without my consent bc i "said they could do whatever with the release". i called bullshit, ended the convo as kindly as i could, and cried lol. they agreed to ditch the pseudonym and just give no credit. that night was the last i heard from anyone on that team
and the real kicker?
august came and went. then september, october... and they never released the music video
and i don't know why, because i was never contacted about it. i've been removed from the picture entirely i guess. 4 months and boatloads of stress. just. up in smoke. i don't know what i expected honestly
it's hard to not take everything that happened personally and as done in bad faith. i really do, honestly. i've had plenty of shitty deals in my almost 10 year art career, but it hits different from people you saw as friends. but to the point of "why not keep it private", i have never felt so disrespected as a professional as i did this past year. i can toy with money and credits and other formalities all i want, but my work- my ideas, my labor, my effort- is still so important to me. i felt like the biggest idiot for doing so much work, pouring so much of myself into a piece for someone's use, for what has amounted to nothing
but more importantly i hated myself for undervaluing my work, even if initially i thought this person was a trusted friend. money is not really an issue for me- drawfee is my main job and i am fine and comfortable. it's so important to pay artists appropriately but i often undersell my own work bc i value the collaboration and passion between creatives more than the reward. i think a lot of artists tend to feel the same, and it often makes us easy to take advantage of. it's so difficult to find the balance between passion and making a fair living, and i think there's some shame within ourselves when artists choose to prioritize that passion
i wanted to finally get all this off my chest bc i was ashamed of every choice i made. things like this happen all the time i'm sure and hiding these mistakes only make it easier for it to happen to other people
tldr always value your work and protect your passion from people who just see it as a product. and don't give cheeky pseudonyms i guess lol
(and again pls don't bother anyone involved about this. a lot of chaos has left my life as i moved past all this, and this is me closing a door without opening new ones hopefully lol)
this shit was truly
so ass.
but i'm moving past it now
but on a nicer note. outside of all of this nonsense, i made lots of good memories this year. i'm truly so grateful to the many wonderful people in my life who keep me going even when i fuck up big time!
and thank you to all of you strangers who, despite everything, give me the time of day. especially if you read this whole thing. you're a real one :')
happy new year!
#getting personelle#reflecting about some shit#thank u for reading or not reading just thanks for sticking around ig
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5, 11, and 30 for the artist ask meme!
5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself
It's increased over time! Well, actually, it's been a bell curve, kind of. Maybe more like a roller coaster lol. Obviously before I was online I wasn't sharing any of the stuff I drew; I drew for about seven years before posting anything - casually, for my own entertainment - and then for a while I was posting almost everything in some form or another; if I didn't post the original doodle, it was because I cleaned it digitally! But I got pretty burnt out on that haha - it does still come and go in cycles lol. Nowadays I probably keep back about 30% of what I draw? Although it can be hard to quantify - if you upload to an audience of zero, is it actually online? Haha ♪ Or an audience of one! Just because it's shared using the internet as a middle man, does that count as "posting"? :0 I don't know! I think it's an interesting question tho!
11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what
Yes! It really depends on what I'm drawing; my go-tos are always Reddit story readings since I don't have to think too hard about picking one, they last a while, and they keep my auditory brain occupied while my hands and eyes are busy. For a couple days of Requestober, especially the Portal/Stanley Parable days but also the song prompt, I was listening to themed stuff - GLaDOS lines, Narrator lines, the aforementioned song haha. I hate having to stop to pick the next thing! It makes editing my footage harder and throws off my flow :P
30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated
A lot of my Law Abiding Citizen stuff probably - LAC is such a good series!! I wish more people would see it/were still into it. We're few, and I was late to party, but my love still burns! If I had to pick just one thing tho, I think it'd have to go to one of my Just Desserts comics - I cried while drawing it initially, and I still think Charm's transition from her smiling-crying face to her angry-crying face is so well done ♥
#Woah an original post#Ask#Ask me#Thank you! :D I had to think about these! Especially the first and last one!#I've been trying to find a good balance of drawing for myself/allowing myself space to mess up while also being proud of things#It can actually be hard to thread that needle lol - sometimes I'm like ''Well it's alright :/ But this bit is good! But out of context....'#It can be hard to be judicious! I really do want to show off a lot of it but I also want to leave room for myself!#I've been working on an all behind-the-scenes project over the course of October :3c#I'm almost ready to start compiling it! I'm buying myself a bit more time haha ♪#And of the audience of none thing - that behind the scenes project? Technically it's online right now - but on my Patreon lol#Tree falls in a forest and all that haha - it's a secret for as long as anyone else dictates! It's interesting :3#Plus there's also the thing of showing your online friends but not the wider public - where's the line?#How many people have to have seen something for it to count as being ''posted online''?#Even still - I always draw for myself haha ♪ I just also happen to share a lot lol but that's kind of a side effect of being pleased pfft#I have gotten so dry on things to listen to haaaghhh - I know I have a bajillion podcasts at my disposal but my brain is so pickyyyy#It has to be low-stress and not a bummer but interesting but not Too interesting that it becomes Inspiring- pfbtl >:P#I'm actually listening to something right now as well lol - I listen to music when I write and stories when I draw :D#I can't get 'em mixed - brain is picky lol (But really it's because it engages different parts of my brain that need attention)#It was also hard to answer the last one since I still kinda consider myself a fairly small artist haha - I like a lot of my art!#Even my old stuff :D Sometimes even especially my old stuff!#What counts as underrated when a lot of my stuff trends towards being on the quiet side? :0#That said I've been absolutely delighted by the Property of Hate and Portal turnout ahh <3 <3 Makes me happy to see them being enjoyed!!#Anyway sorry for going so long apparently I had Thoughts™ lol
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hi! i was just wondering if you’re getting a piece of this pie. https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/voidrealmminis/rise-of-the-eldertubbies?ref=profile_saved_projects_live
Oh my goodness! Haha thanks for showing me! And no, of course, this guy is still selling my dream while claiming it’s totally nothing to do with me. I hadn’t heard about it so thank you.
For those just joining us, here is the saga of the elder teletubbies:
1. in 2017 I posted a dream I had on Tumblr. In the dream I discovered that the childish teletubbies shown on BBC’s Teletubbies are merely the children of a species that grows up to be forest cryptids as adults. The post contained a detailed character description explaining how the children’s simple antennae become more complex antlers; their coats become thicker hair; their eldritch screens are unknowable; here, look:
The adult Teletubbies have more branching, complex antlers and shaggy coats. They are less brightly coloured. They are terrifyingly large. Their strangely human faces, emerging from the thick fur, are unquestionably adult; remote, serene, reproachful. Their television screens are glitchy, esoteric and unknowable. They are cryptids whose public exploitation has undermined their rarity and their strange, alien dignity.
That’s a pretty clear description.
2. The post quickly gained attention and many people drew art, made sculptures, designed in-depth character concepts, and even made DnD character sheets and entries with detailed notes. It was 2017. The post got over 90k notes. It had an extremely clear description of the cryptid in it. This wasn’t at all obscure.
3. The post and four pieces of the concept art, including the first piece by were screencapped and posted on r/tumblr. The post included this art by the now-deactivated @finoliatav which is, I think, the first piece of art. Most screencaps don’t show that it’s animated! Once you see it you can no longer pretend that any more work needs to be done in designing these characters, really - they’re all variations on a very clear theme.
4. A guy called Jars started drawing the BBC Teletubbies as adult Teletubbies. He noted on Reddit that his inspiration for the first one was the r/tumblr post but after that, he considered it entirely his own creative work. He drew each of the 4 BBC Teletubbies as adults using my character description and wrote a little story about how his character had stumbled upon them in the woods. He’s a good artist and his work went viral on Reddit and instagram. Those places being separate from Tumblr by the walls of the enclosure, they quickly believed the Jars was being highly original and praised him for it.
5. jars got carried away by his fame and started merchandising for all he’s worth. He’s selling elder teletubbies placemats. He got a collaborator to help him make and sell plushies.
6. Plushies of my character design applied to BBC characters. Jars sells them. To people. Who buy them. He sells these.
7. I think this is like… his job.
8. It has been years of this. I don’t think he has actually come up with anything else to sell by himself. But given that he now has millions upon millions of views on platforms I don’t use, let alone dominate (Instagram, YouTube, Reddit, TikTok) he seems to have fully subscribed to the idea that this is his THING.
9. After a while I wrote him a friendly email expressing that since my original dream was very much about discomfort with how the teletubbies were being exploited, I didn’t mind him selling his own art but that I wasn’t happy with him selling plushes based on my writing.
10. He wrote back along the lines of it all being his original intellectual property and absolutely nothing to do with me, etc, so jog on and don’t interfere.
11. I’m not entirely sure where the original intellectual property is when taking BBC characters and drawing them according to someone else’s detailed description of how to “evolve” them (branching antlers, shaggy coats, eldritch screens, serene adult human faces) especially having drawn them after seeing four separate detailed reference photos to base your own drawings on; especially when they’re the existing BBC characters from the show and not even your own. Like, Jars, you were given an entire detailed brief, several sets of references, an entire concept and a television show: the only artistic choices made here were to pick up your own personal pen and do the drawing. You have never deviated from my description, which you did not come up with yourself in any way. But okay Jars. You did some real intellectual heavy lifting here, this is Intellectual Property suddenly, and I guess this is your day job!
12. I myself actually have a day job, am capable of generating lots of other original material just for funsies, have never asked you guys for money, and I’m not generally huge jerk I don’t think. Also, I’m uncomfortable but have never been clear on how to stop him - I don’t think I can. So I don’t do much about this, apart from occasionally scream with hilarity with you guys about it.
13. Like this is the opposite of Goncharov. This is a guy making his wage on a 2017 tumblr collaborative shitpost insisting that this is the beautiful fruit of his only brain. And millions of people believe him.
14. There are now YouTube documentaries with millions of views and TikTok lore about Jars, and his lore, the Elder Teletubbies, which apparently he invented. People are making their wage talking about the history of Jars and his teletubbies lore. These documentaries are, if you can’t tell, not especially well-researched, as it is not difficult to find the original elder teletubbies art on the internet, which is all timestamped. Occasionally hilarious people from Tumblr point this out in the comments (thank you, you guys are hilarious) but the juggernaut is unstoppable!
15. Jars is now, apparently, doing a kickstarter to raise money for some kind of DnD sheets using the grown up BBC teletubbies.
16. I will point out that tumblr made and played with DnD teletubbies in 2017 for free and nobody had to pay $3000, but again. The juggernaut is unstoppable.
I have never, ever known what to do about this guy.
I have always been open to advice but genuinely never been able to articulate how it “damages” me, apart from ethical discomfort about how much I hate my writing being monetised by other people, especially when it was about my discomfort with exploitation. The juggernaut is unstoppable though. He fully intends to get thousands of dollars from this. He almost certainly will!
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