#And I have such extreme levels of empathy to a point that when someone i love is upset I feel desperate to fix it

[lpsgirl109]

This is why i need to get big as an actress for no other reason than to have plenty of money just for the people i love

[fayewoodss]

What went down with Dream last night was a wild ride for everyone that resulted in a lot of antis coming out the woodwork as well as fans turning on each other. I don't want to debate the use of the word and if/when someone has the right to reclaim it because I don't think that conversation is productive for anyone right now, regardless of what you believe. I think it's a valuable conversation to have with plenty of great perspectives and empathy, but people are still so riled up that a lot of people are not willing to talk to each other, just talk over each other.

However, I think Dream made some valid points in his follow up about the hypocrisy of situations like this when he has consistently been the target of slurs, harassment, and defamation as a neurodivergent person (and now confirmed autistic person) while the internet cheered it on and even rewarded it. Not that *everyone* did that with incidents like Gumball, but there was an overwhelmingly loud mob that supported physical and verbal violence against Dream in multiple scenarios. Even last night, many CCs criticizing Dream were revealed to have engaged in the behavior themselves, using or supporting the use of slurs against Dream in the past. I don't think it's wrong to point out the extreme levels of hypocrisy the internet flies into when it has to do with Dream.

I do think most of his responses to the backlash comes from a place of genuine frustration and hurt. I think many fans and stans of him alike can understand that and resonate with him deeply. Many have shown that they do resonate with the emotion behind it, even if they don't agree with the act.

At the end of it all, especially with everything including the reddit response being deleted, it just makes me sad. I know Dream says he's grown a thick skin and doesn't let things bother him too much, but I really hope he's okay after this, especially being vulnerable about a new diagnosis and the added perspective it brings to his experience on the internet.

You can be critical of someone and hold them accountable for their actions, and still have empathy for everything they've gone through and how it can reach this breaking point.

[numberonetrashwitch]

Some observations about Baldurs Gate 3 that hit too close to home.

After another few runs i will probably just make an in-Depth Character Analysis for every character simply because they are good reflections of actual trauma-manifestations and how abuse can manifest in people. They are also so well written that it serves a narrative purpose to explore all the material that is out there about them. I am also personally cursed with actual medically-relevant levels of Empathy and Hyperfixation; so writing this helps me put a pin in it and move on.

But so far here are my highlights

(SPOILERS and obviously content warning bc these are deep)

before you ask; i have almost 300h in this game.

You have to convince Shadowheart to eat the Noblestalk. She actually stells you she rather get her memories back from Shar but when you hit the persuasion or intimidation (what the fuck) check to get her to eat it she'll tell you about her childhood friend. Not her name, not her parents but her best firend. Possibly because she has had a closer bond to that person after being abducted and indoctrinated. With her believing herself to be an orphan, she would've looked elsewhere for comfort and sought out her own family, this is why she falls hard and heavy for Shar and builds the backbone of her indoctrination. She is literally ripped out of her home & given a new identity to server her from all she has known. Religious indoctrination, Gaslighting, Abduction, being forced to let go of your personality are her main themes.

There is a scene out there floating around in which you see Astarions pespective of the night when he bites Tav for the first time, in his meditations he is confronted with the rules Cazador put on him, including that he can't eat intelligent creatures, can't be away from Cazador unless allowed to, has to obey every command and that they are should know that they are property. Which in turn means that Astarion literally didn't just have any autonomy, he was objectified (and not just through seductive/sexual measures) and that is really the crux to understanding why he doesn't believe in kindness, but rather shows self-serving behavior in most cases. Since we know that Astarion was extremely young for an elf before he died and became immortal (literally stopping the aging /maturing process) it is also very telling that Cazador constantly calls him brat, boy or other very juvanile names, refering to them as a family... well it is also the story of a very controlling parent. Themes of (Bodily) autonomy, infantilization ( & puer aeternus, forever-child), slavery, depersonalisation, corruption of life and torture to break someone.

Gale isn't just a guy hung up on his Ex, but also a victim of abuse. In this case a power imbalance none of us can fathom; She is described as being a jealous goddess and rules over the domain of mysteries and magic. So with Gale being a Wizard, she is literally his boss. He admits that he was foolish enough to aspire to be an equal to her, but she is so jealous that she tells him he can't really be worthy as long as he takes breath. She could just take his powers away and be done with it, that would be more than enough punishment for a guy who literally made Mystra and her domain his life's purpose, but she rather makes him do it himself. Add to that, that she literally only tells him this after years of self-isolation (after he put down so many wards that he could've blown up a whole army as he says if you click the right dialogue) to really fuck him up well. He also talks about death pretty much constantly, not surprising giving your situation, but he will tell you that he will kill himself at several points in the game, for instance after he comes clear about his nethrese orb. Themes of romantic abuse, power-imbalance, toxic work enviorment, self-isolating behavior, suicidal ideation

Wyll ... well from the looks of it he is the most well adjusted of all the companions (my opinion) but he has something that i'd describe as the "eldest daughter"-syndrome, more commonly known as parentification. This pattern usually occurs within single-household parents and is commonly described as a parent looking to their child for emotional or practical support, rather than providing it to their kid. We meet Ulder and see that he talks over Wyll a lot, not listening but expecting him to follow the standard he sets for him. That is also why Wyll repeats his fathers words like gospel (because this is what, in his mind, fullfills the expectations bestowed upon him) and why he loves fairytales / bard tales so much (because they are an ecapist view of the job he set out to do) Ulder literally exiled his teenage son because Wyll did the only thing he could to save an entire city, by sacrificing himself. Thats a lot to expect from a 17 year old - even more so, he doesn't stop with the heroics. He expects himself, as a human who hasn't even reached the age of 30 to hold up to mystical creatures such as Astarion or Karlach, or even Gale who is a accomplished Wizard. Themes of parentification, escapism, self-harming through putting himself in danger, chronic-self-sacrifice

In plain words; Gortash, Karlach's Idol sold her to a Devil. But add to that that she must have been pretty young when she was sold (late teens to early twenties possibly) and being that if you play as a Tiefling, you face a lot of predjudice she was likely forced into that position as well. Starstruck she was, with a juvenile naitivy that Gortash used. Appropriately, as he is the chosen of Bane the god of "tyrannical oppression, terror, and hate, known across Faerûn as the face of pure evil through malevolent despotism" (Source: Forgotten-Realms Wiki / Bane) So she pretty much was raised in a toxic enviorment, which forced her to become a killing-machine, first figuretively, then with the extraction of her heart, literally. Themes of slavery, oppression, misuse of trust, being taken advantage by a more powerful/older(?) person, being drafted.

Jaheira - to be honest, you need to know the lore of the previous baldurs gate games or just listen to her dialouge, ask her all the questions. She is a war-veteran against Bhaal, the good of ritual murder, and has a long history of fighting to achieve some sort of balance of power. She lost her husband and several close people all to this, or any other war, but due to her wisdom and strength people look to her for guidance. Themes of: Survivors Guilt.

Halsin - he is really closed off at first but then just casually hits you with "i was captured in the underdark and spent 3 years chained to a bedroom wall by a pair of drows who used me as they pleased". He is reprimanded by some of his druids for leaving the grove as soon as opportunity struck, just to get back and leave the next day, and if you talk to him about his position in the grove he is actually very forthcomming. He actively holds himself back; indulging in simple hobbies because he knows what lies within his heart. He is afraid of himself and his potential (canonnically he can't control his wildshape, which is very weird for an ARCH-druid) Themes of: impostor syndrome, avoidant-based self-harm, sexual opression, loss of control, emotional regulation.

Lae'zel is a very tragic case, and one that closely resembles the stories of Shadowheart and Karlach. Her entire existence is based upon a matriachial war society allowing her to live if she proves she can be of use and that in a culture which only values brutality, dominance & service. All of that culimating in her finding out that her oh-so-beloved Queen is actually just an imposter, and that everything she has lived for up to that point is merely political propaganda created to make her, and the rest of her entire species, willing pawns in a war that has no longer bearing on their survival alone, but is fought to justify Vlaakith's (the reigning monarchs) personal ambitions. Not only is she forced to reconcile that she is turned into the thing that controlled her kind for hundreds of years, that the only cure she knows of would kill her and then on top of that, that her hopes and dreams were lies and that she is now the Nr 1 enemy of the person she has served with all her being. themes of: oppression, propaganda, casual violence, objectification, child-warfare, eternal warfare

Minthara in short, her story is about being shamed for growing up in the same scenario that Lae'zel grew up in. Lolth, the god of the Lolth-sworn drows is a crazy queen who values scheming & backstabbing so much and is so volatile that you can't know what to expect of your deeds (and i mean it; there were people who were appraised by her for scheming against her, but also those who were killed. It's almost random.) She considers Lolth to be cruel and abandoned her for the Absolute, only to then be used and abused the same way Lae'zel has. Not with promises, but erasing her memory and exposing her perceived weakness. Themes of: casual violence, violent culture, her own ambition colliding with her desire to be safe, being a pawn in a larger game.

[zvezdacito]

Tbh I think a lot of people downplay the stakes Malleus is in that makes him overblot as just surface level loneliness by itself and that's why they think his overblot is unwarranted/annoying compared to the other six. It makes sense he jumps to such drastic measures to avoid facing whatever comes next because whatever it is will last not just a few years but literally a millennium + either way because of multiple systemic reasons he knows he's not just gonna be able to connect with a bunch of new people/explore a bunch of new experiences to make up for it.

Compared to other overblotters, it seems no matter what course of action Malleus will end up in a bad ending since he's a species seemingly among the few left of his kind while also being biologically predisposed to outliving everyone. It's as if he can never have a happy ending as long as he's himself, or that as a king (and symbolic "lord of all villains") his happiness will only come at the cost of others'.

I feel like a lot of people also give him the entire blame of his failures to connect properly with his peers. When even before they knew about his impulsivity or lack of cognitive empathy people were already jumping to conclusions about him. (Said mindsets came about from internalizing the depersonalization he was raised with, he's the sole heir of a country battered by colonization who place very high expectations on him to be a symbol of hope for them again after all)

Assuming the worse because of his powers, the reputation that came from it, and because of (the once again systemic issue) humans and people outside the Briar Valley barely knowing anything about/only having stereotypical rumors to go off the nocturnal fae who closed themselves off to try and stop humans from invading them more💀

So yeah givevn all of this Malleus was a ticking time bomb and even then he was about to just stand down and put his own feelings aside until he became accidentally convinced there was a way that didn't have to exclude him. It's an unfortunate clash of circumstances between different people and that's what TWST is all about. So yeah idk just kinda baffling some people are unironically out there saying things like "Malleus should've just held himself together for one night that's so selfish" when it's kinda made extremely clear by the story there's way more leading to the characters' making choices than that

From an outside point of view as the audience of course there are obvious steps Malleus could take to make the most out of what he has and to not inadvertently be a prick to others, but it pretty obvious why in his shoes it's not really feasible rn lol. Other than these things I could think of at the top of my head, a lot of the things people single him out as especially selfish or unreasonable for are things the other overblotters and characters in general also do lol.

> Like the class dynamics at play? NRC is literally rich boy central many characters express some kind of class privelege

> Not receiving consequences for his actions? This is a staple twst writing flaw for all its stories in general, most overblotters have gotten a slap on the wrist/their actions relatively covered up by the end. And Fellow legit just walks away from an undisclosed time of human trafficking like it was no big deal😭

Ironically Malleus will probably be the first overblotter to not have his actions hidden to only a select circle of people and receive severe repercussions for it because someone like him "should've been above that".

But yeah sometimes I feel like the extent of how some factors in Malleus's background, upbringing and environment determine his way of thinking and why he thinks he needs to do certain things is underestimated by the fandom and only the surface level of what he's doing is focused on which results in some people talking about his character and his flaws in a very dismissive way idk

[pixie05love]

Wow, okay, after reading chap 285 and this post, I think I have a new and more positive perspective of the Kaisagi team up and Isagi's development.

(Please read the post I've linked. It was very insightful, and it helped me a lot to get to this conclusion. Also *points a gun to your temple* Go follow @mvrdermeharder She's the best, ty)

Now, from that post, I agree a lot on the positive impact the kaisagi team up had on Kaiser.

Back in chap 279, it was revealed that Noa was using Isagi and agreed to join the NEL only to evolve Kaiser, so he'd have someone who'd boost him higher to help him beat his current opponent, Loki:

Look at Kaiser's expression when Noa agrees to all of his questions and realises that Noa was using him to his own benefits:

Mild disappointment and acceptance are written all over his face. He had just witnessed how his mentor admitted using him (just like with Isagi) for his personal benefits and... he could do nothing about it. Kaiser had been used by Noa, and he could only accept it.

Now It is not like Kaiser liked or cared about Noa in a way but, someone like him, who was privated of his childhood, who had gone through abuse and has to experience and see how all these events still have an effect on him (remember the scene where he chocked himself as a trauma response) must have been extremely frustrating for him to know that, even now, he still doesn't have full control of his life, not even in soccer.

The thing is, Kaiser is not alone here. Isagi was also "betrayed" by Noa. It wasn't in the same level of traumatic as Kaiser because Isagi does not have a troubled past like him. But, hey, a betray is a betray. Isagi wants to win just like Kaiser, and Isagi doesn't have to go through Kaiser's past to understand what he must have felt after hearing Noa's words.

Isagi was used by his idol and mentor, the same person who inspired him to play soccer, so it had to have some level of effect on his psyche, too. Just look at his expressions when he talks to him. He was definitely hurt by Noa's words:

What Isagi feels here is not only frustration for being used by his mentor and idol but frustration for being used by a "genius"

This arc is about geniuses vs non geniuses, and Isagi felt hopeless against Noa because he saw how geniuses were toying with non geniuses to "take the spotlight from them."

Loki, Noa, Rin, they are all praised by everyone, outshining non geniuses who are the ones who have more complex plans but need the support of others to make them happen.

Geniuses are also non logical, so you cannot explain or understand why they did x or y, whereas non geniuses' strategies, once they are figured out by geniuses, have little to no chances against them because physically, geniuses tend to be way better than them (it's in their genes, dude. We've all met someone who is very good at something without trying)

It's frustrating when every effort you make is completely futile against the natural advantages of talented players.

So it's here when Isagi and Kaiser connect:

Yes, Isagi teams up with Kaiser because he wants to win but he is only able to have Kaiser agree to do so because they both share the same objectives:

Surpassing Noa and Rin, two geniuses that are both the wall Isagi and Kaiser have to overcome in order to discard their previous egos (what I believe Isagi calls "personal feelings") and create a new ego that not only will redefine this match but the current perception soccer has of non geniuses.

And also proving that non geniuses can win against geniuses by themselves [This one is more on Isagi's side since it doesn't seem like Kaiser is interested in proving such thing]:

Isagi, ironically, is being "considered" of Kaiser's feelings/situation here. This is why I don't think he discarded his empathy. That's his best weapon after all. He knows using Kaiser for his own goal won't make him cooperate because Isagi already knows what it feels to be used as a tool, so he won't do the same thing again with Kaiser.

This explains why Isagi let luck decide who scores the last goal. If is Isagi who scores, it won't be because he used Kaiser, It was luck who chose him. The same goes for Kaiser. None of them will use the other one. They'll cooperate to get both what they want -> It's a mutual agreement where both recognise each other as an individual with an ego to fulfil:

They are "healing" together from Noa's betrayal while also fulfilling what their egos desire without using each other as a tool.

That is, if you ask me, very considerated and empathetic of Isagi (for Kaiser, since Isagi is the first person to take in consideration his feelings and not only use him for his skills), but also very egotistic of him for doing all that to achieve his desire of winning.

So I don't think Isagi stopped being empathetic (maybe I just don't want to believe so idk), because that's what differentiates him from the rest -> His capability of making someone work with him, of changing fate by using his understanding of his surroundings and the opponents/teammates' mental state to his own benefit (while still taking them in consideration so he makes them work according to his plan).

I believe that's what Isagi meant by "becoming a machine" and "leaving his personal feelings aside" to focus even more on the rest so he has control over them.

It's like a symbiotic relationship between being empathetic and being egotistic/?

His weapon is his empathy which he pushes to its limits thanks to his ego, and it's what will lead him to achieve what said ego desires (winning for the sake of winning).

.

.

.

or at least that's how I understood it lol

[zukosdualdao]

i can’t stop thinking about WHY zutara bonding in the crystal catacombs scene is so moving and its just so!!!!

like. katara is someone who specifically addresses her mother’s death to empathisze with other people, like haru or jet. and while they do connect with her on this level (and i have lots of <3 feelings about haru and katara), she is always the one initially extending the empathy. she is always the one in that caretaking role.

and when she brings up her mother in the crossroads of destiny, it’s different! because it’s the first time she’s taking about it in anger, as she yells at zuko about what this war has taken from her, personally.

and ZUKO is the one who reaches out to empathize with her in addressing the loss of his own mother by the hands of the fire nation. zuko, who has thus far not been more than an enemy or very brief, reluctant ally to her says: “i’m sorry. that’s something we have in common.” because he hears her crying and her grief and her anger and gets it, he does. and instead of katara being the one to reach out, to provide this kind of care for someone, for once, it’s the other way around.

and for zuko’s part! we actually see time and time again that he is someone not only capable of empathy, but rather prone to it. but it’s a part of himself he HATES. he’s been taught a very harsh lesson by his father: caring for others is a weakness. so, up to this point, he’s always not only shied away from empathy and connection with others, but actively set out to not be seen that way and perform a lack of care for them. even when he does start forming new connections, like with song, who empathizes with him through the shared pain of their scars, he can’t bring himself to return the compassion of sharing his own experience. (actually, i’d go so far as to say stealing the family’s ostritch horse at the end of the episode goes beyond the simple motivation of “we need to travel, this will make it easier”; it’s a way of reasserting to himself that whatever kinship or care he may have felt for song, he is not WEAK, he can still be the son his father wants by performing this act of disregard for others.)

but in the catacombs, he doesn’t just NOT shy away from empathy, he actively embraces it, actively makes the CHOICE to reach out. and like, he didn’t need to. while WE know katara as an extremely kind person, there was no real reason for him to expect this would be met by anything but hostility. and he chose to reach out anyway! because the thing is: he genuinely HAD grown. it’s just that healing isn’t linear.

it’s why zuko’s choice in the catacombs is so tragic, and such a betrayal for katara. because however brief it was, for a moment, they shared something real and honest and vulnerable. with someone neither of them ever would have expected it from.

[simpforsolas]

on spirit cole

When I first played DAI, I made Cole more human. It felt better to me. Making him human makes him more relatable and allows him to change and grow in ways that feel good to players. But my most recent replay, it's amazing how much my opinion changed.

My fundamental issue with a lot of human Cole arguments is this idea that making Cole human makes him "real." It's an extremely human-centric viewpoint (and by human I just mean intelligent mortal beings - this includes qunari, elves, and dwarves). It's this idea that in order to be "real," in order to be something valuable, you have to fit into a specific mold that's palatable and understandable by people. But in reality, spirit Cole is just as real and as valid as human Cole. Sure, he's different. Sure, he can't live a mortal life and experience typical mortal relationships. But he's still REAL. Spirits are beautiful and wonderful beings just as they are, and they shouldn't have to change into something more human to start to be seen as valuable. It simply takes embracing a different perspective to see the inherent beauty in them.

Consider this line of dialogue you get in the spirit Cole route:

"You found out, but you didn't change." The context of this line is that Cole is talking about Rhys, the mage who befriended Cole but then abandoned him when he realized what Cole truly was: a spirit. Cole has intimate experience with friends leaving him when they find out his true nature, so imagine how meaningful it is to him when the inquisitor doesn't do that. They learn he's a spirit and continue to treat him the same. Nothing changes in their relationship. Then he goes on to say, "You didn't make me change. You let me be this, be more." And that, my friends, is the core of why I love the spirit Cole route so so much. You meet this being who is different and odd, who frightens people just by being himself and wants nothing more than to help. And instead of treating him differently or encouraging him to change into something that you personally might relate to better, you accept him as he is. You don't make him change. If you listen to Cole, he seems so incredibly happy about it, too. He's happy to remain a spirit, as long as he can continue helping people and maintain the relationships he built.

And yes, Spirit Cole also does retain feelings and emotions. He expresses joy when Corypheus was unable to bind him, he expresses sadness when Solas leaves. As we learn from Solas's quest, you can certainly have friendships with spirits. It's just a different kind of relationship, and that's the entire point: Different is okay. I think that this speaks to me on a deep, personal level because of past relationships where I was made to feel like there was something wrong with the authentic, true me. Like I was broken. I felt that in order to be accepted, I had to minimize parts of myself and pretend to be someone I wasn't. So to see Cole be so wholly accepted just as he is and to not be encouraged to change was extremely cathartic for me, and I believe that's the entire point of Spirit Cole. Unapologetic acceptance for someone as they are.

There is the argument to be made that Cole wanted to be more human. After all, he took on the original Cole's identity and tricked himself into believing he was human (if you read Asunder you will know this). But I would argue that Cole never explicitly wanted to be human. He accidentally stumbled into taking on Cole's identity because his compassion and empathy was so strong and he identified so deeply with his pain, that he became him. If you talk to Cole, though, he never expresses a preference one way or the other.

Now, don't take this to mean that I don't think the human Cole route isn't lovely in its own way. There's something beautiful about self-determination and not feeling bound to stick as one thing just because you were born one way or raised to believe that you had to be one way. But all that said, I personally resonate more with spirit Cole and will be a spirit Cole truther forever.

[caramellody]

I am not immune to Usha/ G13posting, actually. In fact, i have lots of thoughts. About it, and it's that @grovylelover brought up the dissonance between the G13 that is being portrayed and presented vs. How G13's actions and thoughts show him to truly be.

LIKE. If we lay out EVERYTHING we know about him so far in as chronological of an order as It essentially goes:

- 8 months pre-canon something happens to the hive where G13 gets captured and taken in by the government

- At some points, G13 and Johnny are both 'hired' at the same time to work for the shadow falcons. Both having someone that is clear they care about being used as blackmail (Lucy for Johnny and Slicer for G13)

- biggest clue into his thoughts is in his comments on Slicer. The fact that. Usha, even as shes being erased catches onto the fact that theres a part of G13's thoguhts on Slicer that he isnt touching upon. Many thoughts.

I dont doubt that. G13's been some level of hardass bastard by nature of the world he lives in. But there's a clear level of empathy and care that he does have for his group. So imagine him when hes being forced to upload an extremely dangerous file, only for a 100 year old woman to come crashing into and taking over his body and he's helpless to do anything because what this means is 2 things:

1. This old woman fucking up the shadow falcon protocol is going to put slicer in danger

2. You've just realized that this world isn't even real to begin with.

Like. That's a LOT to handle on top of all the issues he's already having to deal with! A LOT of his agressive behavior comes off both as a front that hes always had by nature of his situation of being used by the government, coupled with him having to grapple with the fact that hes a fictional character in a fictional movie thats just going to rewind and force them do the same choices again and again and again. And if he remains aware of this fact, then that's torture, and that could make ANYONE bitter

[pauls1967moustache]

this is insane but I’m a uni law student and I did a deep dive into the 1970 McCartney vs Beatles and Apple case and Omg Allen Klein is not seeing those pearly gates, attempting to weaken the opponents case through a con recording session?? the other three members on trial refer to Paul as ‘spoiled child’ bc he didn’t trust Klein?? Actually insane behaviour the story of that trial is fckn mental and the bit where the judge called klein a second rate hack was the best part of it all. I admit I’m a little Paul pilled but omg Paul is stronger than me if my band members suddenly decided to hand over everything to a well known untrustworthy figure in music circles and then literally Point Blank refused to let me leave the partnership while slandering me in the press for having a hissy fit literally leaving not many choices other than levels action and then when being sued call me a ‘spoiled child’ to the judge (who would then go on to see through all that bs and side against klein/the remaining Beatles) I would have blown the whole entire world up, maxwells hammer would have been an autobiography

i kinda get where they're coming from because having the eastmans manage them would've felt completely unfair from their side, and someone pointed out in a discussion about this topic before that paul had a history of being the last hold out about something and then eventually giving in (quitting touring, lsd, etc), so it's not completely wild for them to assume it would happen in this case. but also, obviously the communication at that point in time was at an all time low, so i don't think they got the full sense of just how much paul was not fucking down with klein (or all the harrassment klein was doing like???), and tbh even if they did i don't think they were in a place where they were extending paul much empathy at that point in time. it's easy to be like "why couldn't they see" with hindsight, but we forget sometimes that they're all extremely gullible and frequently petty.

i agree though, it does feel silly given that klein seems like the archetype of like the evil music exec villain in a musician biopic lmaoo. the con recording session is genuinely absurd (although, shout out to that which resembles a grave but isn't!) it's actually insane that they thought ganging up on paul and pressuring him to the point where he had almost no agency would work. those are two things he famously hates!!!

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

asking for Velvette Dx and/or head canons if it's not too much hassle! Plz and ty!

tw // suicide

I would like to preface all my posts on headcanons related to psychology and mental illness with a disclaimer: diagnosing mental conditions, especially personality disorders, can be extremely challenging. It's a complicated process that relies heavily on a psychologist's interpretation of facts, making it susceptible to biases. Personality disorders cannot be diagnosed based on surface-level observations and are not just labels that we can assign to people like in the case of MBTI. Additionally, I am not a clinician with any expertise in diagnosing people. Therefore, the following post should not be taken as a reliable professional opinion. It's simply my interpretation of the internal mechanisms that may be responsible for the behavior of certain characters in my fan fiction. Furthermore, I want to make it clear that I have no intention of stigmatizing people with personality disorders by associating them with villains. A personality disorder does not determine someone's character or make them a bad person. Some characters may be evil because of the choices they make, not as a result of their mental conditions.

So, as I mentioned, I headcanon Velvette as having an Antisocial Personality Disorder. It is characterized by lack of sympathy or empathy for the rights of others, while simultaneously acting charming and interpersonally manipulative.

❤️ Throughout her childhood, Velvette lived exclusively with her father in the impoverished and sketchy part of the city. Her father worked a lot to earn them living but at the same time he drank a lot and while drunk tend to be aggressive. Also he surrounded himself with bad people. In my mind Velvette can deal with Vox and Val's shit so well because since she was little she was surrounded by unpredictable and violent men. At this point she couldn't be less scared of them.

❤️ She endured relentless bullying during her school years due to her inability to afford stylish clothes and gadgets. This was particularly hurtful for her, given her deep passion for fashion. Velvette devoted all her free time to design stunning looks, harboring a fervent desire to be able to wear them.

❤️ Around 12, she figured that following rules was pointless, being in a disadvantaged position due to her family's poverty. The sole way to boost her social status, in her view, was to break those rules. This extended beyond minor offenses like stealing groceries; she engaged in more serious crimes, such as taking money, clothes, and jewelry from stores and individuals. She never felt any remorse for these actions; to her, they were merely a means to achieve her goals, regardless of the harm inflicted on others.

❤️ She never finished her education because sticking to school rules wasn't her forte. She had the smarts and charm to sidestep juvenile detention. Despite concerns from a few individuals, we all know how well the system deals with "troubled teens." Besides, her father wasn't bothered by psychologists' opinions as long as she was bringing in some cash.

❤️ As a young woman she used her charm to manipulate men and take advantage over them. While she contemplated sex work as an easy money-making avenue, she found men too repulsive to engage in it. Instead, her preferred method involved blackmail – she seduced married men, particularly the submissive ones drawn to her aggression and coldness. Through this, she gathered intelligence and skillfully weaponized it against them.

❤️ At some point, she blew up as this super popular influencer. It kicked off with her sharing cool, low-cost looks on the internet. People loved her sassy attitude and creative stuff. But as she got more famous, it stopped being about creativity and turned into a power trip. She built a cult-like following around herself and started abusing her power. Being openly mean worked in her favor online – people ate it up, especially when she got into online fights. No matter how wild it got, no one could successfully cancell her. Actually, I think Vox really admires her talent for stirring up drama. He pushed her several times to get on some reality show, thinking it'd make the ratings explode. But the darkest stuff Velvette pulled wasn't out there for everyone to see. It all went down in her DMs. She justified it as "finally getting justice from rich white brats," using her influence to get teens to pull off crimes and risky stuff. She even manipulated at least two depressed kids into taking their own lives. When shit hit the fan, and she knew prison was coming, she took it as one last chance to torment people. During a "live stream apology," she commmited suicide in front of thousands of people.

❤️ In the show, it's evident that she's downright rude. Not just to Carmilla and the other overlords, but also towards Vox and her own employees. The lack of sensitivity and respect for others, coupled with a strong sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated, are typical traits associated with Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD). My girl literally got song called Respectless.

❤️ She disregards any kind of authorities and when someone tries to impose their will onto her, she's going berserk.

❤️ She genuinely couldn't care less about what people think of her; she despises people that much. In fact, being hated now excites her because she knows she's untouchable and influential and it makes everyone even more angry.

❤️ She's extremely reckless, even if she knows it could hurt her – another trait associated with APD. While we observe Vox and Valentino able to behave when necessary, Velvette storms into overlords' meetings guns blazing and starts with insulting everyone, even though she aims to convince them to align with Vs.

❤️ She struggles to form genuine connections with other people. Still, she's got a soft spot for Vox and Val, sort of considering them her friends. At the same time, she sees them as just a couple of guys she can easily play to her advantage.

Vox hc | Valentino hc

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

uh hi. got some few followers because that LSN post. some points of housekeeping:

this blog rare contained little space where actually safe when wider autism & disability community very hostile to people like me. n whenever people follow me because of posts not about severe disability / level 2&3 HrSN nonverbal autism, some new people don’t know what going on & sometimes do stuff that make this space feel unsafe. you’re more than welcome to stay as long as you follow housekeeping & have general respect

1. not written by me but read this

& do search in blog for intellectual disability too

2. use stuff like autism levels & nonverbal & impairment & deficit language & severe autism & severe disability & visible autism here to describe self & have friends who also use them. while not use for self, also have friend who been called low functioning & also call themself that. you not have to like all that for yourself but don’t police what we call self don’t tell me “um actually this is ableist… but of course you call yourself whatever!” uh. we know. basically if you uncomfortable to even see these language my blog not for you.

eventually will have actual post about this instead of respond to someone rude who blocked me after this n so blocked back… but for now this will do (probably used to have one but too tired find right now)

3. 99% time post about above topic. n blog center people with those experiences & decenter LSN level 1 mild whatever language use. reflect on your experience n who you are n your privileges n your advantages bc we all have some yea even me

4. because do experience stuff post about they not just words… no empathy, can’t mask, have very bad theory of mind, often don’t understand other people exist not to mention have different thoughts feelings knowledge experience than me. am bitter a lot, mad a lot, angry a lot. think in extremes, n immediate write what think, immediate post what write. can be angry aggressive without realize n even if do realize, can’t really do anything about it. basically have level 2/3 autism have big communication struggle have big cognitive struggle & act like it

5. don’t tell me you relate to what am saying unless am know you. keep have problem of people think they experience same thing am talking about but actually turn out very different whole other world n am wish can be like them. sorry to people am not familiar with who genuinely understand n relate but please understand need this

6. am just one random nonverbal person with level 2/3 autism & higher support needs & severe disability online. human. so make mistakes. n have bad takes like anyone. don’t treat me as write universal truth never wrong

7. oh something important. no “going nonverbal” “nonverbal episode” “sometimes nonverbal” etc

should update all this on pinned

tone sound annoyed pissed off because kind of am… but not because of this so not at any of you all not personal

[seriousbrat]

I'm extremely unfair to Remus on this blog, the truth is fanon remus is personally offensive to me on many levels so I'm loath to give him protagonism of any kind lol. But that's not fair at all to a character that actually, when all's said and done, I do love. perhaps the marauder I'm least interested in (lol) but he still rates high on my list of fave hp characters and I honestly find him a very pleasant perspective to write from. he's just like some guy. his big crime is negligence/avoidance and I love that for him. to be honest I think his position is a difficult one to fully understand, he is a character that I'm able to muster up a lot of empathy for because of that. like can any of us irl understand what it's like to turn into a literal monster every month since childhood, the point-blank rejection and hatred from society, and what effect that might have on someone's psyche? it's interesting!!!

moony's worst hits, lets go:

remus tolerating the marauders' bullying: obv this was wrong. he was the only one who recognised it was wrong, and he tolerated it. he 'made them feel ashamed of themselves' sometimes per sirius, but honestly I can understand why he never spoke up. I don't think we should underestimate how rare the marauders' tolerance, not only tolerance but the lengths they went to to help remus with his condition was. for a teenager? I can only imagine how that must have felt tbh. he likely thought that he barely deserved their friendship and loyalty and that he was lucky to have it so why would he do anything to ruin that

remus not telling anyone about sirius being an animagus: bad lol, his worst moment probably. again, though, I can understand it even though I don't justify it. the trust dumbledore had placed in him, first to accept him at hogwarts and then again as a professor (we know how difficult it is for werewolves to find employment of any kind) and he just couldn't face betraying that trust. Luckily for Remus it turned out ok but it is kind of insane that he didn't tell dumbledore tbh.

remus not writing to harry: idc about this personally lol but to me it ties into remus's inferiority complex. he doesnt, and will never, see himself as anything like a father figure to harry the way sirius does. he barely sees himself as a worthy father to his own kid let alone the complex case that is harry. is that unfair to harry and unempathetic? yeah probs but also it makes sense to me even beyond the reason Remus gives in canon for not writing. He put Harry in terrible danger in PoA and given Remus's self-hatred he probably feels guilty about that lol.

walking out on Tonks: his other worst hit. But I can understand him, even though I think Harry was 100% right to tell him off. Again we've got this man's crippling inferiority complex, from what he says he thinks he's a burden and a curse to both Tonks and Teddy-- and you know what, society isn't exactly contradicting this belief. Obviously Tonks doesn't agree and that should be all that matters, but sometimes it doesn't seem that way. There's avoidance here (Remus's big flaw) and I legit think he thought he was doing Tonks a favour by disappearing on some quest with Harry and likely dying in the process. Interesting stuff but also very sad.

all this to say, I don't believe in "defending" characters, just understanding them, and even though I barely post about him I do find Remus very interesting, worthy of empathy in many ways. I'll admit the werewolf thing leads me to give him more of a pass than other characters just because I find that so horrible lol and feel so sorry for him but anyway. a good character in my opinion.

[darcytaylor]

Good Day!

I have to ask because you are the most thoughtful blogger I've come across. I've read most of your archive on pap-gate & have to ask about pasta-gate.

I'm hoping you or someone can please offer me a non-aggressive insight into how & why L&A together makes sense & isn't extremely damaging at this point?

IMO, this type of SM posting goes far beyond them respecting their privacy. It's embarrassing & cringe for BOTH of them at this point if they are together. Unless he is launching her tonight, which would be reckless & a gross miscalculation on his part.. If he was responsible for papgate1 (I don't think so), but it is speculated & I have to give it light as you theorized, the premiers could distract/overshadow a launch. This is how I actually got started in this shipping mess; after papgate, I wanted to see if he was a disrespectful POS like everyone online said. I've literally come full circle, haha. It's wild.

Do people who think/assume L&A are together hate L? I ask because at this point, if they have been together for over a year, I really don't like him anymore. Someone said A simply does what she does because she isn't allowed to post him & it hurt my heart. That being said, I know I don't know him personally, but the 32 year old FBoi behavior makes me really not respect him.

Please, I'm genuinely asking for someone to explain it to me like a toddler, so I don't get the ICK from looking at him anymore, because that's where I'm at tbh & its sad.

Thank you if you post!! I know it's controversial.

& thanks to anyone who wants to participate in this conversation, I will respond in the thread if this is posted 💛

Oh man, as soon as I say I want to put this to bed, I get an ask that is rooted with empathy, so here it goes:

I want to say upfront that I don’t believe Luke or Antonia owe us anything when it comes to their personal lives or whatever relationship they do have. However, I can see that many fans have strong feelings about their connection. That said, I don’t know these individuals personally, and I can only speculate based on what’s been presented publicly. I have no knowledge as to what happens behind closed doors and the conversations that happen. I just hate seeing a fandom torn up over something that, at the end of the day, shouldn't really impact us this much. If I can provide clarity without judgment, that’s what I will try to do.

Why Luke and Antonia Being Together Makes Sense:

Personal Connection: While it may not be clear to everyone, relationships often make sense on a personal level that we as outsiders, can’t always see. Luke and Antonia might share a bond that feels right to them, even if it doesn’t align with public expectations. It’s not about what fans think is best - it’s about what works for them.

The Public Persona: The real issue here lies in how the relationship has been presented. Whether through social media or public appearances, the messaging could be seen as inconsistent and unclear, which makes it hard for fans to accept. When there’s a lack of transparency, skepticism happens, and that breeds distrust and ultimately hate.

Human Nature and Growth: Everyone makes mistakes, especially when navigating something as complex as a public (or not so public yet public) relationship. If their relationship started with missteps within the fandom, that doesn’t mean it’s doomed to fail in their personal lives. People grow, learn, and change - and that includes celebrities. However, the public fallout from how things have been handled complicates the perception unfortunately.

Why This Could Be Damaging:

Public Perception of Antonia: The way Antonia presents herself online, along with her interactions with fans, has contributed to an image that doesn’t work in her or Luke's favour (this is a sad reality because she may be a very sweet and nice person, I don't know the girl). Whether fair or not, the “mean girl” energy and perceptions of entitlement and immaturity have led to backlash. If she worked on a more grounded persona from the start, the relationship might have been received more favourably.

Luke's Reputation: For Luke, this situation could affect his image as well. If fans feel he’s making immature or irresponsible choices, it chips away at the reputation he’s built. The “FBoi” behaviour people are picking up on can understandably make people question his maturity and judgment, especially in a public-ish relationship. These doubts may even impact how they view his career moving forward.

Timing and Transparency: There was a the lack of transparency from the start (and again I don't believe they had to say anything, but it is what happens when you are in the public eye unfortunately). So, while they aren’t obligated to share details, being more open about their relationship from the beginning could’ve made a difference. The mixed signals around it led to a lot of speculation and frustration, leaving fans feeling disconnected and left out. But hindsight is 20/20.

Why Some Fans Might Feel Conflicted About Luke:

Fans vs. Personal Lives: Many fans feel that celebrities’ personal lives should remain private or at least be respected. However, when something goes wrong publicly, it’s difficult to separate personal decisions from professional perceptions. For some, they want to root for the relationship, while others feel disappointed because they believe it’s not right. These emotions can affect how fans feel about the individuals involved.

The "ICK" Factor: When something you admire starts to feel messy or contradictory, it’s natural to feel disillusioned. It's hard not to let that affect how you feel about someone, especially when the handling of the situation doesn't match the version of them you hoped for.

Taking a Step Back:

But it’s important to remember, we don’t know Luke personally. We don’t know how much control he has over the decisions being made in the public eye, and he might genuinely be trying to do what he feels is best - even if it’s not being received well.

The way the relationship has been handled publicly has made it hard for many to feel connected to the situation in a healthy way. While things may shift as time goes on, it’s okay to step back and reassess how you engage with this situation. The key is that change is possible - for both Luke’s career and his personal life - and things might look different in the future.

I don't know if this even helped. But if you made it this far, thanks for reading!

Now this really be the last post like this for a while, I hope so anyway!

[perfecteggpartyland]

kevin is a coward

for the last time Kevin day is not a coward. Like the other foxes he's traumatized and rightfully so. He grew up in a fucking cult for fucks sake where Neil goes for two weeks and almost breaks. Neil is reckless and impulsive. He's so called bravery has had horrible consequences for people around him. Kevin not talking shit to literal Yakuza is not cowardance. He's abused and scared of his abuser riko. If he really was a coward he wouldn't get away; he wouldn't offer Neil to talk about riko when just seeing him makes him have a panic attack. He wouldn't tell Neil to run away in the middle of the season risking the game knowing who Neil was. Bravery once again is not just shit talking to someone. Kevin is once again traumatized and rightfully so.is jean a coward too then? And in the end Kevin does standup and manages his fear of moriyamas. So spinless and coward shouldn't be such a large part of his description as a character. Neil has nothing to lose anymore but everyone deals with trauma differently. He's a FOX. He's not a coward. He has flaws no doubt but why does his good qualities gets forgotten in favor of him being a spinless coward? Why isn't Neil's flaws more discussed? Is jean a coward too? I love both of them to death and both of them are foxes. Neil ran away too and it's only after his moms passing that he stops.none of them are cowards.theyre abused and deal with traumas different ways. That's the point of aftg. Neil HAS nothing to lose. That's why he's so reckless and as someone stated he's in survival mode and doesn't really have extremely high level of empathy before his stay at nest.

[fenrysmoonbeamswife]

"Nesta was nasty to xyz because..." NO SHE FUCKING WASNT THOUGH

"I love/relate to Nesta because she's so mean" NO SHE ISNT THOUGH

"Nesta is so grumpy, she never smiles" NO SHE ISNT AND YES SHE FUCKING DOES, sorry the precious inner circle don't exactly inspire people to shit out sunshine and rainbows but I think that says more about them than her

It's like even Nesta's fans base their perception of her on the POV of other characters. Excuse me while I rely on Nesta's actual words and actions and not Feyre who thought she was angry while she was *checks notes* reading (shock horror call the police) and Cassian who thought she was sexy while she was *checks notes* emaciated and depressed.

Don't get me wrong. Nesta is blunt, she's straight to the point and she won't hold back to spare someone's feelings. If someone starts with her she will clap back and probably x10. She has resting bitch face and she could probably kill a man stone dead with just a glare. If someone is nasty to her or her loved ones she will be nasty back. She loves to drop a sarcastic comment and she will take a bitch down a peg or two if she thinks they're too big for their boots.

But, she cares so much about people, she has insane levels of empathy, she makes jokes, she makes friends, she can be sneaky and find it funny, she makes wishes and friendship bracelets, she will defend the people she loves to the death, she isn't nasty for the sake of it/without provocation, she isn't mean she's blunt, she is at peace when she reads, she does what's right, she is grumpy and she smiles.

Nesta does have a harsher side, I'm not denying that, but she also has a sweet and extremely loving side and it's genuinely sad that even a lot of her fans don't seem to see that. Even though I'm convinced those people are the ones who only liked her after ACOSF so it's debatable if I'd even count them as fans I'm sorry (not)

Anyway if you people think Nesta was nasty more than three times in the entire series to anyone who didn't start it or deserve it then I guess all I can say is genuinely just never come to Ireland because you will probably return home crying

[shorthaltsjester]

honestly as someone who has been in various fandoms for a long time now and who also watched campaigns 1 and 2 without really getting into cr fandom it isn’t Shocking but it is annoying how often people will look at the stories that cr tells and make absolute claims about the goodness of characters (goodness here meaning Moral goodness, not I Like This character and think it’s well made goodness, which is a separate post entirely). particularly regarding the gods and pc parents. and honestly like, typically in fandom i get annoyed by people bending over backwards to woobify characters who are active in their choice to be unkind and generally horrible but in the cr fandom it’s tended to be the opposite where like. a character is just. a human being (in the sense of being Average not in the sense of Fantasy Races) and huge swaths of the fandom act like that’s the most unforgivable thing someone can be. and maybe it is, but one of the most powerful things about fiction is that it tends to encourage people to expand their empathy and exercise their ability to forgive. because fictional characters, no matter how much people like to project onto them, tend not to cause anyone harm, so it’s easier to learn how to forgive and accept things you don’t understand without also villainizing them.

this is mostly prompted by the recent 4sd and the fact that matt’s response to what’s up with the dawnfather was a very insistent “He’s not bad!” and also seeing the online reaction to the mention that the matron would punish vax for saving keyleth that has taken the as usual completely bonkers tune that the raven queen (Who When Met With A Brother Asking A God To Kill Him In Favour Of His Sister, Gave Him A Job, and Later Extended His Natural Life To Help Protect The World And Have More Time With His Family And Allowed Him To Visit His Sister On Her Wedding Day) is a horrible evil abusive bitch of a god. like. can we grow up? can we understand the world and fiction that represents the multitudes of experiences found in it in shades of grey? is that too much to ask (i know it is).

but also specifically the like Extremely Adamant way that both matt and laura were like no no no no relvin isn’t Horirble he’s average. he’s not good he’s just. he’s A father, not a good or bad one. and on the surface it’s hilarious that they’re both so like. enthused to point out that he’s Average because typically when people respond to a claim of a characters badness with the level of immediacy they both did it’s a rebuttal of “no, this character is good actually.” but it was just to affirm that relvin did harm imogen, but not because there’s some aspect of his character that is inherently cruel or especially Bad. and like. yeah actually. yeah you should react like that to a claim that this average person who Has hurt someone, the way that nearly every single person has hurt someone in a way they cannot repair, with immediacy to say this person is a Person and thus imperfect and capable of great harm, but that isn’t some all encompassing judgment on their morality or capability to also do good or be fine.

anyway this is kinda just a rant post but also is just me saying i’m very grateful that when surrounded by a fandom that tends to paint characters as Good or Bad and even while using a game that can encourage that with its alignment system, cr has always told stories that see goodness as a persistent choice that might sometimes falter and that can be chosen even after a lifetime of Badness. i can’t remember exactly what the quote was so forgive me if it’s incorrect but when jester is talking to caleb after he claims he’s not a very good person and she says “good people do bad things sometimes. even bad people do good things.” that’s it! that’s one of the most consistent themes across campaigns. and yet.