#And I don't have the capacity to have that conversation with her bc I know it'll turn it to her pointing fingers and making accusations

[terranatior]

I slept so bad last night bc I got all hung up on family issues and couldn't sleep bc my brain would not shut up and today just feels WEIRD ouughhh

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

stans are actually very funny bc they often time talk themselves into the weirdest corners.

the whole point of criticizing acosf and its handling of nesta's character is to prove the point that sjm...doesn't like nesta as a character. that's is literally THE point - that sjm often abandons her moral themes (abuse, trauma, assault, etc.,) for character's deemed as undesirable or villainous to a capacity - and its through the handling of those 'vilified' (i.e. main character opposed - not even villianous) that we can gauge the extent to which sjm actually believes the ideals of her story. like - it is alarming that the only tolerable, empathetic parts of the a court of silver flames were the moments you could tell where ripped straight from sjm's own life (the hiking, training, mind-stilling etc.,). any actual characteristics about nesta weren't explored...like at all. her relationship with feyre and elain, with her mother, her trauma from her sexual assault, her conflicted relationship with her grandmother, her life before the cabin, her life during the cabin. in 800 pages - i still don't know mama archeron's name. what was life like in the cabin? what did nesta do all day? what was the dynamic? what was going on between elain and nesta?i don't know anything about her and nesta, we don't know anything about nesta's human life, her conversation with clare bedor, her relationship with clare beddor, moments with her dad - not even touching moments with him (and part of this story is her finding love for her dad). mind you we read 800+ pages and we learned absolutely nothing about her.

we essentially read sjm's emotional journey in one part, and a taming of the shrew narrative in another. i think the only way sjm had genuine interest in exploring nesta's story is through essentially self-inserting herself and avoiding the actual plot-points she set up in the first three books. like did nesta have childhood friends? if losing the wealth so drastically affected her life wouldn't she reminisce about it a lot? would she yearn for her mother? who were her childhood friends, how did she function at court?

and the whole point of saying alll of that is to argue the misuse of these topics - serious discussions abuse are only reserved for certain situation, and others its completely undermined in a way that only reinforces the negative ideals to begin with. (i.e. nesta needs to abused bc..." "the intervention was harsh but" - pair that with discussion around what feyre needed in acomaf - and it makes much more sense).

nesta antis often jump between the fact that nesta is so favored that sjm nerfed feysand to 'redeem her' and arguing that sjm secretly does everything in her power to embarrass and secretly laugh at people who like nesta's character. (1) we've gotta pick one or the other (2) in my humble opinion - sjm would have always given feyre a pregnancy plot like this regardless of whether this was nesta's book or elain. its literally so sjm. im shocked people are surprised she pulled the pregnancy as she did.

as with the tamlin discussion we had under this post - i think the story undermines its discussion of abuse with feyre/tam by essentially insinuating that tamlin (when placed in the same victimized position as feyre) should have sucked it up and braved out his abuse with amarantha (and the same with rhysand as well - esp with the deliberate foil of rhysand's 'willingness' v. tamlin's unwillingness). and when we start to have a real conversation ultilizing our own irl analysis and standards we really see how harmful and rather sisyphean the conversation becomes. instead of engaging with these topics earnestly, they only engage in them to prove a point - which is how the issue began in the first place. the whole issue with rhysand isn't the fact that he engages with harmful, potentially villainous positions. no - its that the book wants to prove that tamlin is wrong by justifying rhysand's actions. so even though rhysand and tamlin almost always have the same written and expressed intentions in their abuse of feyre, the book flocks to justify one, and eschews the other. and thats why we get so much reactionary critcism of rhys that is surface: people only admit the problems because they know antis will, not because they actually believe their are issues in the story.

and perhaps im still speaking into a void here but i can tell there's tension between pro stans wanting to have these serious conversations but understanding they can only really introspect so far until the conversation begin to prod at the validity of the topics being brought forth. so stans have to jump between invalidating the romantasy genre ("its just faeries") and treating this book as a serious topic (cue: "sjm put a hotline in the back of the book"). this is also the exact reason why the racism conversations stall (i.e. why inherent superiority is always passively emphasized - despite cc1 + 2 centering human oppresion there is no human in the ensemble cast. despite the fact that illyrian women are the most oppressed - rhys has no illyrian women - or reg illyrians (not his brothers) in his inner circle. aelin 'sacrificing' her human body).

[rcris123]

Trigun Stargaze Prediction Bingo

Okay here we go! This is just speculation, obviously, and I invite speculation alongside it! All i know is that Studio Orange loves the Trigun manga, because they put in a LOT of details in Stampede that make me want to chew it.

Since we open and end Stampede following Meryl, I think episode 1 will open with a remake/reimagining of the first time we see Meryl and Milly in both the Manga and 98’ anime.

Maybe they’re following rumors of Vash the Stampede and stumble into the town where ‘Eriks’ is with a fake Vash.

I think the Eriks episode/chapter might be adapted as it is, maybe with Meryl and Milly added in the mix bc studio Orange loves to center Meryl and put her right beside Wolfwood whenever they’re with/helping Vash.

I don’t think we’ll see Vash actually acting out his puppy routine. Though this is the studio that did Beastars-

I have a gut feeling they will have Meryl cut Vash’s hair instead of Lena and if that's the case I will legitimately cry.

We’ll have to return pretty soon to Home ship, me thinks probably around episode 4-5, with the reason to do so being injuries post a Gung-Ho Guns confrontation (money’s on Raidei and/or Dominique given their absence around the blowing up incidents).

If we get more of angel Vash and/or that one scene where he almost catches Meryl in his destruction I will once again legitimately cry (might happen here or later, but feeling is they will restructure the story so that plays into WW’s and Meryl’s feelings towards him going into the fight on Home ship IF that’s what they’re going for.)

We will get to see Knives be reborn from one of the pregnant plants much like he did in the manga, but I don’t know if they will also redesign him with long hair for it or not.

Once on Home Ship, the humans from Earth will come back into the plot, but I have no clue what how they’re going to include them and Knives’s ARK.

Around Episodes 5-7 we’ll get the Home ship fight against Grey the Nine Lives and Puppet Master. It will be a 2 parter, much like the sand steamer.

I think all healing scenes will be conflated into something coming before the Home ship fight and none after.

We won’t be getting Wolfwood saving Vash from Knives’s ARK because that arch was roughly equivalent to episodes 10-12 from Stampede, including Elendeira-WW conversation/conflict. (A shame because Volume 7-8 are amazing and they wreck me every time 😭)

I don’t know how we’re going to get back to the orphanage and the RL & Chapel vs Wolfwood fight (pls let it be Elendira & Mr. Hornfreak fight pls and thank you) , but we’re going to get it roughly around episode 9. And it will take up the entire episode. We’ll get the explanation/backstory for Razlo. Vash shows up only halfway through like in the manga.

Wolfwood still dies, at the beginning of the next episode, the rest of it being set-up for the finale.

They might fuck us up in a new innovative way but, if we get couch scene in any capacity, I will eat drywall.

Episode 10 or 11 sounds like Legato fight territory, backstory and Vash killing him included.

Zazie's going to get a much bigger role, maybe even turning tables against Knives in the end fight? bc Studio Orange loves Zazie and I love him too.

How hard they're going to lean VW I also don't know, but the 2025 new years post heavily implies we're going to get something, because that was too intentional with the same kimono & being just the two of them in much more formal attire than their 2024 versions. Also it's the studio that did Beastars.

[sapphic-agent]

I really hope my ask won't be seen as mean, hope to word correctly....bc your last post about how Eri and Shig do share some common ground. I agree but it irks me how LoV stans use this to make shig sound not so bad.

Many fics and arts where "shig saved Eri" exists as Eri is an accessory for Shig and nothing else.

I do see the paralels here. I do wonder about the mother....did overhaul killed her?

It's very convenient for the heroes to label Eri's quirk as good ...bc if she had just decay...she would be label as having a bad quirk. Maybe the heroes wouldn't care much. (Makes me wonder where are the healing quirks or medical advancement in this world)

But while they have a similar backstory...how Izu would possible know? I sincerely ask here bc AM went radio silence regards Shig to Izu, same with Gran and the police did a really lousy investigation (I'm assuming is lousy bc we don't see what they did and whatever they did it was one time thing) and didn't share the infos with Izu.

Does Izu knows about the nomus?

Im even surprised he knows shig is TENKO...but of course, such reveal is underwealming as fuck and him and Nana don't take at all.

Izu is mistreated by the narrative and no one talks to him ever.

Not to harpy on your post bc I agree this could have been useful....but like how Izu would know anything about Shig? Unless Shig tells or Izu becames the best hacker ever...or reads mind...he can't know. Ever.

I've said this before, but the reason Izuku doesn't understand Shigaraki is because they haven't interacted enough prior to the Final War.

Their conversation at the mall was a good moment. It shows that a) Izuku has the capacity to resonate with a villain's intent AND disagree with their actions (Stain), b) Shigaraki at this point didn't have a goal or direction, and c) it IS possible for Izuku to understand why hero society is corrupt. It also highlights the differences between them, attempting to show them as complete opposites.

The mall scene was a great way to explain the dynamic between them. And it's something that should have been expanded on throughout the story.

Admittedly, I don't know how Shigaraki's backstory would come up. But I'm sure it wouldn't be a hard thing to do. Didn't All Might pull up Tenko Shimura's disappearance? Maybe Izuku figures it out on his own somehow. Idk.

But to me, it doesn't even specifically have to be Tenko's actual past. It could be an implied thing that Izuku learns from watching how people treat Eri. Hell, part of him already has a clue from his fight with Shinsou.

(One thing I actually hate about Izuku's character is his inability to acknowledge the corruption of society despite being a victim of it. He started off being able to do this with Stain, but for some reason that just went away. He studies under Endeavor, even defends him to Dabi and tells Todoroki he's ready to forgive him. Lady Nagant spelled it out for him and he just... Doesn't react. Doesn't even think about what she said. This is on Horikoshi's awful writing decisions, but it's the one criticism of Izuku that's 100% valid)

Eri shouldn't be used for Shigaraki's redemption. I honestly wouldn't want her around any of the LOV, that's putting her in danger to make another character look better. It's the same issue that I have with Aizawa making Bakugou watch her.

But I do think that Izuku's experiences with the people around him- which includes Eri- should give him a broader worldview. That's typically how development and growth work. If Izuku was going to reach out and try to save Shigaraki, it should have been with an understanding of how society failed Shigaraki.

Saving him also could have meant a lot of different things. Saving Shigaraki from AFO's influence/brainwashing wasn't a bad goal. Saving him from himself, though, is different. People have to want to change, you can't make them. You can give them support, but Izuku wasn't in a position to do so because he's, y'know, a sixteen year old who isn't even an official pro hero. Of course he wasn't equipped for this. Most actual pros wouldn't have been

[moonyasnow]

It's my bedtime and I really should be asleep by now but I'm not, which means random thoughts

I'm thinking about which fairy tales would fit my ships

So here are some fairytale AUs…with a twist!

Some are gonna be more detailed than others just bc that's how ideas work sometimes

Leomoe

Leomoe is for sure 'Beauty & the Beast' but it's also kinda like the premise to that anime/manga 'my little monster' where the smartest girl in class is made to give homework to the guy who like never shows up and make sure he actually tries to do the work

Maybe it's even Falena who hires her? She originally only agrees just to be able to get a scholarship— and Leona is 100% aware of that—

Less 'beast changing' and more 'beauty learning to see past the 'beastlyness' and see the beast as someone who has the capacity for greatness even when others don't see it'.

Mallina

Mallina is 'Cinderella'

But only really the 'poor servant girl' aspect is kept— no stepmother or stepsisters.

But somehow— maybe someone wanted to be nice to her for once— she recieved a beautiful dress, and an invitation letter to the birthday ball of the prince.

At the ball, she ends up feeling really out-of-place…so she takes a little break in the garden— where she encounters someone else who seemed to also want a break from the festivities, which would be Malleus.

And they instantly start to get along well, and feel drawn to each other, and end up dancing the night away together, and walking through the garden and talking.

But then as the clock strikes midnight, she has to leave.

But after that night she just can't stop thinking about that person she met, having daydreams about wanting to see him again, having no idea it was the prince, thinking he was just another person who'd been invited to the ball.

So when the prince starts coming around to all the families in the kingdom with the shoe she'd dropped (just a regular one) she has no idea it could be her shoe, so she never even bothers to ask to try it on— she'd just be a regular maid maybe working for a minor noble family, after all, so she wouldn't be asked to.

But then for the visit to her employers' house, Malleus is there too, but disguised as just another employee of the crown— he remembers what she looks like after all, so even if the slipper somehow fits on someone else's foot, he'd know by their voice and appearance if it really is her. And he spots her, probably in a moment when there's no one else around, and both of them are really happy to see each other. But now that he's found her, and she still seems to have no idea who he really is, he wants to keep it that way a little longer. So he publically 'gives up' the search for the owner of the slipper, but starts visiting Irina's place of work, still in his disguise, just to see her again.

And at some point, after quite a long time of knowing each other and slowly falling in love with each other, they become lovers.

But when Malleus tells her that he's the prince, her first reaction is tears, because she assumes it's the start to a 'so we can't be together' conversation. Through her tears, she stammers out, in desperation, that she doesn't mind being just his mistress, so long as she can be with him.

But of course, Malleus says that won't be necessary, because he's going to marry her, no matter what anyone says he can or cannot do

Spineige

Hmmmm…

I'm thinking 'Sleeping Beauty'?

OH OH OHHHH

Maybe— maybe Spike is the one who was cursed somehow…maybe for someone he killed to avenge dear friends of his. Like maybe a friend of the people he killed survived and cursed him.

But he somehow survives…and becomes the personal knight/guard to the prince of the kingdom (Neige).

They end up falling in love~ but like, in secret, and Spike doesn't know Neige feels the same so he feels really guilty about feeling those things for him because Neige is a literal prince, and Spike is just his guard, and they're friends but Spike would love to be more than that.

And Spike eventually tells Neige about the curse. So when Spike does eventually fall under the curse, Neige goes to try and save him!

But the person who originally cast the curse is stating very close nearby to make sure no one can wake Spike up— maybe they even decide to kidnap(steal??) his body away to the highest tower of some dark castle or something

Using fighting skills Spike himself taught Neige, in the scenario that Spike wouldn't be there to protect him, Neige manages to defeat the curse-caster!

And then when he returns from having found the cure, which was much closer than he expected it would be(true love's kiss) he kisses Spike, and saves him from the curse. And then for good measure he kisses him a few extra times even after Spike is very obviously awake again.

And though at first feeling a little conflicated about if it's ok for him to have fallen for his liege, he kisses Neige back bc he loves him a lot.

Trenia

Rapunzel

So my idea here is that Junia's mother somehow enchanted her hair? So that it acts like a sort of tracking device? In some way, it binds Junia and her mother to each other, ensuring her mother can control her.

Imagining Tangled but instead of a thief breaking into the tower a baker (Trey) just gets lost on his way back from having purchased supplies in another town and like hurts his leg or something and Junia helps get him up into the tower to care for him. Imagining a really domestic scene of them just making food together…and Trey is the one who's taken care of for once.

And maybe in the time they spend getting to know each other, she ends up finding out just how much of what her mother has told her of the outside world (which she's never seen) is just untrue. And he encourages her to finally gather the courage to try to leave the tower, asking him if she can go with him.

And they go back to Trey's village and she starts living there, and at every opportunity she asks if she can help with Trey's chores— really just as a way to try and spend more time with him— and from here it's just a regular, cute romance story with a fairytale setting

And then Lydia (her mother) finds her and finds out she's gone and fallen for some commoner baker and is not cool with it, and brings Junia back

And ugh my creativity disappears here but in the end, Junia ends up breaking herself out somehow

And like— it's beautiful because even though she goes to thank Trey for helping her, she did all that on her own. So she's nowhere near as incompetent as her mom tried to make her believe she was.

(whyyyy is it so hard for me to write for these twooooooo)

Jacktor

Ok ok hear me out

Little Red Riding Hood, but the wolf is the one going to visit his grandma, and then he's just got this weirdo in a red hood following him around

And the weirdo gives him gifts and always asks to play with him?

And at some point, Victor ends up saving Jack from a hunter— buuut he also cuts off said hunter's head and gives it to Jack as a gift…

But somehow they do slowly become close. And eventually Jack's tail even starts to wag sometimes when Victor flirts with him??? 👀

And when Victor does finally meet Jack's grandma he's kinda over prepared, having brought a gift, and treating the whole visit as though he's at a job interview for the position of 'grandson-in-law'.

Catonica

Catonica maybe as The Snow Queen???

So the plot is about a mirror that shatters, and everyone who gets a piece of said mirror into their heart or eyes only sees and comprehends the worst in everything.

And this boy goes missing and then his friend goes on a YEARS' long mission through some actually pretty scary stuff in order to find him

Maybe this but like coming of age— maybe Veronica is the one who goes missing and Cater looks for her. And like the shards is a representation of all the bad feelings and stuff Veronica just kinda internalizes during that part of her life, and that in the end she does at least START to try to see past them. So like, an AU where Cater and Veronica knew each other as kids.

Artemil

Artemil has 'The Little Mermaid' written all over them for sure.

Artemisia is merfolk— I'm thinking a jellyfish merfolk?— and on Kalim's birthday, held on a big boat on the ocean, she ends up spotting Jamil, and falling in love with him at first sight.

And of course, when he gets thrown overboard during a storm, she saves him, and carries him back to shore, though fleeing just before he can wake up, since she notices Kalim and another one of his servants in the distance looking for Jamil.

But of course, she just can't stop thinking about him. And she NEEDS to be able to meet him, to speak with him, even just once. So she trades her bell and stingers for legs, and the promise that she can see her 'prince', but with the added effect of her every step feeling she's walking on shards of broken glass.

And the reason she ends up never being able to speak to Jamil directly is because she becomes too nervous to be able to form any words when she's in front of him.

And the story keeps going, but with Jamil thinking all that time that Artemisia liked KALIM. So after falling for her, too, he's just been stewing in his own jealousy all that time. When Kalim ends up becoming engaged to someone, Jamil is just bitterly expecting he'll be forced to watch the one he loves be sad about another guy…but also starting to think that now he actually has a chance to make Artemisia start falling for HIM instead…

But to his surprise, she doesn't actually seem that sad about Kalim marrying someone else. And when he asks her about this, and she shakes her head when he says 'I thought you liked Kalim' he's incredibly confused and his mind is spinning wondering why she's still there at Kalim's parents' estate if that's the case…

And then it hits him.

All the time she's spent there— almost all of it has been by HIS side. Immediately looking to HIM when he enters the room but never taking her gaze away from him when it's Kalim who comes in. Generally just spending way too much time with Jamil for her to have any chance at trying to make Kalim like her.

And in a moment of impulse, he embraces her, then says 'you're telling me I could just have done this that whole time?!' and he feels her shyly nod in his embrace. He just sighs, and tightens his arms around her.

And then he feels incredibly stupid, not realizing the person he thought his feelings for were unrequited had felt the exact same way all along and wasn't even trying that hard to hide it.

Idisle

Hades & Persephone for sure

Except 'Persephone' shows up to tell Hades his business' branding fckn SUCKS, and Persephone's gonna fix it for him and Persephone just lives there now??? Hades wants Persephone to LEAVE but Persephone refuses

@mishig for Spineige!

And @babyghoul138 for VeronicAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—

[zeep-xanflorp]

so at this point everyone is accepting that rick and diane never had a healthy marriage right??

like i think what everyone assumed (including me) is that they retconned all the things about rick not believing in love in the first two seasons when they revealed rick's revenge quest in season 6. like i thought that because rick was doing all of that for diane and beth, that it was indicative of a healthy relationship. but i don't think that's the case anymore after looking into some old episodes. i truly believe it was the intentions of the writers to make him have a bad relationship w diane since the beginning.

so here's what i've been thinking right.

"listen morty, what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. it hits hard, morty, and then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. i did it. your parents are gonna do it. break the cycle, morty. rise above. focus on science." (rick potion #9, ep 106)

the situation he describes is so specific. he describes "failing marriages" and compared his marriage to that of beth and jerry's which is infamously codependent and toxic.

"i couldn't make [marriage] work and i can turn a black hole into a sun, so..." (the wedding squanchers, ep 210)

he talks about how little he trusts in marriage. because despite his intelligence, he couldn't be happy in his own.

so these are the two hints we get about rick's marriage before diane even actually shows onscreen. both of these quotes demonstrate rather clearly that their relationship was dysfunctional in some capacity. that it was "failing".

so if we're call caught up let's move onto the season 3 premiere.

"why don't i go grab beth and we can go out for ice cream?" (the rickshank redemption, 301)

that's all she has to say after rick says he's giving up on science - his passion. which is rather odd because it was clearly something he was working on for some time and he just says he's giving it all up immediately. which is odd, right? this well seeming remark could be far more insidious than it seems.

i'm not the only one to point this out but that's it. she dismisses his feelings. she invites him out to a place with their daughter (where, with her present, they would be incapable of having an adult conversation which would put more distance between them) and in this regard, beth acts as a physical barrier between them both.

i'm not saying that diane is in the wrong here. i'm not saying rick is perfect. but that's one instance of their relationship where something pretty major had just happened. and it's immediately brushed off.

(abcs of beth, 309)

there are plenty of hints that rick was indeed an absentee father, even when he was still living with his daughter. take the abcs of beth, where rick talks about all the toys that child beth had to play with. beth insists that she asked him to make those because she wanted to spend time with him. let me repeat, beth explains that she wanted to spend time with her father so bad that she asked him to make lethal weapons for her to play with. plus the whole froopyland thing - an environment designed to be safe so he wouldn't have to keep an eye on her. it's obvious she channeled her neglect in a destructive way - aka in a way that she got from her father. but i digress.

the point is, rick has always been absent from his family in some capacity. whether it was emotionally as we see with diane or physically as we see with beth.

there are also some hints at infidelity on rick's end. take mr nimbus, who is confirmed to have known diane.

then when diane and beth die, he absolutely crumbled. and this scene does break my heart watching it bc we know it's not just a part of a fake memory now. it was all real. the pain he experienced in that moment - the hope he had of living a normal life and making everything up to his family - just got ripped away from him.

so even though on the surface, rick appears to have a healthy relationship w diane when she shows up in the show, that doesn't mean that's all there is. it's very unlikely based on all of the information presented in the earlier seasons that these two were stable together and i think that the presentation of diane as a perfect loving caring wife is intentional. it either represents how rick remembers her - as someone kind - or is only a small part of the equation.

oh and let's not forget the ghost ai that rick made for his dead wife. he designed her to berate him, to wear him down. to never let him move on from what happened. like that's something super messed up wow. maybe

in conclusion, rick has never had a stable family or home life. that thing didn't appeal or satisfy him. it caused him to neglect his daughter and continues to impact the relationship he has with his adult family members. by no means is this an excuse and that's hardly my point. i feel it's important that we know the reality of ricks marriage to understand how that impacts him in the show we're watching.

ofc this is just my take on what little we have seen from the two of them. i rlly want to see more so i can maybe make a better assessment. but yeah. whatever went on there? not healthy. no way in hell.

[astralleywright]

oh yeah I totally understand why the crossovers happened and don't begrudge the cast or anyone for being excited about it - as much as it stings for me, personally, to see bh be defined for so long by their race to this endgame only to end up sharing it in such a massive way lmao. as a c3-only viewer (for now?), I could have made my peace with feeling a bit like I'm on the outside looking in in terms of plot and worlbuilding, but it is sad that bh themselves have been put in that position in the midst of all the Important Characters™ conversations.

as you say, it makes sense narratively…and by now we all know the narrative has been eating bh alive from the start. it's been going on way before the crossover episodes happened, it was basically baked into them and into the campaign in a way that - again, as I understand it - just wasn't there in the previous one. bh literally started out with an explicit personal connection, in a position of servitude, to a previous pc (and this really isn't meant as a dig to orym, it's just what his job was/is!), so that was obviously going to color their interactions with the world and the other characters.

I definetly don't want a big ass pvp fight or convo to take up anymore focus from bh, but in a way it does feel like it's too late? if the choice was made to not sacrifice the realism of the previous parties showing up (which I think/hope most people would have 'forgiven', given the nature of this storytelling), then sadly it makes a bit too much sense for those parties to also look down on bh and, as so many seem to want, punish them or whatever. I don't want to see that and don't think we will - I would be actively upset if that happened! - but emotionally it does feel like the narrative would lead to proving those people right :/

if bh just /had/ to share the spotlight, as they have been doing forever, I so wish the circumstances allowed us to just get back to the people they have built a connection with…they might not have a lot of npcs to call their own, but I def would've loved for the guests pcs to show up!

sorry for the long ask - I guess it's no use being sad about all of this, especially now, but I still am lmao. bh really invented new and exciting ways of being doomed and rejected by the narrative <3

at the end of the day I support them making bonkers choices, they're gonna end up carving an eight-room cottage out of moon crystals and taking turns taking predagen on little walks to nibble on gods to keep them humble

it turns out i don't have a super long answer to this ask other than yeah, i agree. i do have hope we won't just wrap this shit up after whatever shakes out with Predathogen (i'm now rooting at her getting to bite at the god's ankles forever, as a treat) but will fake some time to explore the quencies and the rammies of BH's decision. (which is what Matt seems to be suggesting we'll do).

and Ludinus is still out there maybe! tbh if they do get rid of the gods he might just peace out Yoda-style, bc that was his life's purpose and all, but if not there are many people who would like another round of beating up that old man. so idk maybe we'll do that? (that feels more like a oneshot thing if i'm being honest)

but even so i don't think you have to worry about interparty pvp breaking out over whatever BH decides. it isn't nearly as prominent in C3 since we mainly see Keyleth in an official, leaderly capacity, but she actually had major beef with the gods in C1-mainly the Matron, but she was also cynical abt them and their whole deal in general. she might have libbed out in the 30 years since but i still don't think she'll be too upset, if it all ends well. especially in private lmao. and the most religious person in VM is Pike, and Pike is a sweetie who has a whole arc in TLOVM abt her questioning her god and finding the power inside her all along so like. it'll be fine. certain people in the M9 might be pissed but i think the other members (ironically, probably the two clerics) would talk them down. they might get disinvited from Jester's wedding though (which is a shame because Ludinus definitely has an invite)

and i do think it's fair to be sad about all of this! i'm sad abt a lot of how BH's endgame has shook out as well! but yeah, there's nothing really to do with that sadness except feel it and then let it go. i mean, we could spend days on end in a negative spiral making a million posts abt every problem we have with c3. if we wanted to get unhealthy about it.

[hertwood]

"I do find it interesting that ppl will ignore the many many times Taylor Swift has publicly supported democrats just because she was friendly to her boyfriend's coworker's wife"

the "many many times" in question being an entirely self-serving activism kick in 2019 and 2020... she hasn't even spoken up about this year's (arguably more consequential) election Imao if normal ass people can cut off their own relatives for being bigoted then white woman of the year can certainly avoid snuggling with a loud and proud racist. i'll also remind you that the "political arguments" in question that occur between trumpies and normal people directly affect the lives and safety of millions of people both in the States and abroad but okay! sure! not everyone has enough empathy to care about that! whatever!

if you want to believe taylor swift is a bad person, or not progressive enough, or a performative activist thats fine!! you don't have to like her and you also don't need to justify it with any "good enough" reason!!! you can just hate the bitch you're allowed!!!

the point i was trying to make is it is weird as hell to be making polls and speculating if she's a republican when she's endorsed joe biden in 2020 and many other democrats since 2018, it really seems like a bad faith fucking conversation to me 🤷 i think the people who are having these discussions have already decided that she's a bad person and are discounting very significant data points to present their opinions like they're reality. if you think it was self-serving activism, that is actually just your opinion :) that you are allowed to have but that does not change the objective truth that she has never been vocally anything other but liberal in her political views.

i also think its fucking weird that people who hate her so much won't shut the fuck up about her TBH!!!!!!!

also acting like i, a disabled nonbinary dyke don't know how politics affect real people?????? bitch i'm one of them. and you're right, not everyone has enough empathy to care about everything wrong with the world all the time. not everyone has the capacity to argue with every bigot they meet 100% of the time without getting burnt the fuck out. it is not sustainable and also not very effective to do! most of these crazy assholes are not gonna have their minds changed with an argument. caring for vulnerable members of our communities is a far more valuable way to spend your energy. getting young leftist people registered to vote is gonna be a much more viable strategy for change than arguing with trumpies.

i have also, for the record, been kind to bigots. so fucking cancel me too i guess. i've said hey i'm not gonna start an argument bc my siblings deserve a christmas without all that. i've heard coworkers say bigoted things and said hey i'm exhausted from the work day i dont have a capacity to deal with this right now. and if you think i'm a bad person for that? dont worry you can unfollow me i will still sleep easy at night :)

i also think it's worth mentioning that taylor swift recently had to cancel a show bc of a real terrorist threat. i personally think it's very likely she's being advised not to say anything in order to not increase risk of another tragedy like the manchester ariana grande attack. if this is true and you still think that taylor swift prioritizing the safety of herself and her fans dying over speaking up politically, thats your right to think so!! but i don't expect my faves to be activists 24/7 personally, for any reason. i dont think thats fair to expect of people who aren't politicians.

but that's just me!!!

[sullen-girl-girlblog]

Oct 16 recap

I went back to the cafe to do my English and math homework! Took me 5 fucking hours though 😭 they were closing when I finally left, which isn't my fault obviously because my mom selfishly stole my head phones (I left them in the car) and I wasn't able to focus for 2 hours. I think it went fine though. I haven't turned in my work yet bc I'm low-key scared of seeing how bad I'm doing. My mom seems really off today, I think I'm making her mad all the time. I keep being horrible and pushing her away but I want her to like me. I just don't know how to stop getting pissed at myself not knowing something and take it out on other people. I'm ruining our relationship and she hates me. And I know she's disappointed, all my family members are as well. Why do I get praised for the simplest shit? Because I haven't proved I'm capable of having the brain capacity higher than a 2nd grader. Maybe I just want people to reassure me, and at least validate me in anyway. But they don't. I want attention so bad. I want people to notice when I'm doing bad and crying myself to sleep every night. No one does tho. I would say I genuinely want to know but I don't think that's true, I don't want to die I just want a break. From being guilty, sad, and generally emotionless. I want to talk to my mom and have a good conversation that doesn't end in an argument.

I think I'm just selfish.

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

Why you care so much about what feyre and her stans are doing🤔

you know, im actually very glad you sent this in anon, though i know it wasn't sent in good faith. when i say feyre 'stans' - i am being 100% sarcastic. my argument is that i don't believe the people who peddle the idea that they hold feyre to be first actually believe that ideal. i also believe they end up purposely derailing actual conversations about abuse, feminism, and racism bc they don't want to actual critique rhys, so they end up selling much more intentional bs to avoid the conversations all together,

as to why that matters - i can explain.

(1) i think a lot of people who work under the idea that they like feyre 'first' believe that a female perspective = feminist. in theory, i believe a lot of rhys stans subconsciously (or consciously) understand that his actions are villainous (to some capacity). like they do understand that there's only so far they can actually support sexual assault. i think a lot of people use feyre to circumvent this issue: if feyre agrees or even likes the abuse, then it cancels out the implication of the it. and this partially because the book flocks to do the same thing - it never introspects about what x character's actions say about them as a character. think about it - even if we work with the idea that rhys doesn't enjoy the abuse he put feyre through, going as far as to reiterate that he feels shame -- we have to question why the story responds to that with plainly stating that feyre actually enjoyed the abuse and/or felt genuine attraction rhys in those moments. because then it (a) removes the idea of moral-greyness; rhysand never has to reflect because the story always believes he secretly justified. (b) there should still be a conversation about what that means. the mating bond operates as both a justification and a rebuke of feysand's actions (c) it puts into question what the story is actually arguing about feyre's trauma from utm. if feyre always secretly wanted rhysand utm...so much to unpack there. we're not genuinely rebuking abuse. and that's fine if you're drawing a scene or simply entertainment - it becomes worrisome when we considered that there is a lesson being put forth.

(2) people who use feyre as the scapegoat to often time sidestep conversations. feyre's narration is only considered when it validates rhysand's abuse - other times, the idea that we should consider canon wholly (analyze the information we're given v. what we're told) becomes nonexistent. so even though feyre has reiterated her boundaries to rhysand (and even though rhys is already aware of those boundaries via his mental snooping), there still this need to 'hear things from rhys side' - even though we know what feyre choice would have been. we know that feyre would have never wanted that information kept from her. its literally been her only consistent trait- don't lie. and as i said in this post: even the act of creating the intervention undermines three books of feyre's narration cementing her boundary.

(3) 'feyre stans' often hijack the conversations; the conversation about racism (and rhys's absue) always stalls because -- AGAIN -- there's only so much analysis they can happen before you realize the problem is both sjm's ideology and her obsession w/ rhys. at some point they always end up defending sjm (and her racism and misogyny). there's a struggle between actual unpacking rhysand's action and what that means for him as a character. they do want to have the serious conversations, just not in a way that detrimental or all-encompassing. selective reading, plain and simple.

i also believe thats why there so much overblown hate for tamlin (that in my opinion, backfired terribly esp over the last three years) is merely insecurity about the problems w/ rhys's charcater. morally, there only so many conversation we can have before the weirdness rears it head. we can't argue tamlin is abusive and then in the same breadth argue for the neccessity of the same form of abuse. we can't argue that rhys is morally-grey and then ignore the greyness area. we also cannot say rhys grows as a character if we argue that he never grows from the person we met utm. we can't say that we 'recognize' he was wrong, but then constantly uplift those very moments as moments of love. we can't say sjm has racial/moral in her story and then remove how that effects more favorable characters.

[twistedastrology]

Hello there!

Can you talk more about aries mercury? so...not the fool card? Even though they don't "think things through" before speaking? It seems to me aries in mercury is either over-emotional, too forward, too logical, too passionate and so many contradictory things all at once. I would REALLY love to hear what you think about that. Please.

Btw, Capricorn Mercury seems to be the most 'useful' mercury in terms of external/social benefits, in the sense that they have a constant filter that makes them gain respect by others easily. I don't necessarily like their minds to be honest, and they're generally not interested in lots of topics but I have to recognise how handy it could come to people who don't get to wish to discuss/delve deeper in various topics.

I have multiple cap mercuries in my life btw including friends, colleagues and my dear mother with whom--even though she's a Gemini Moon--barely manages to have hobbies of her own or participate in games.

I feel like cap mercury is perfect on the outside, but overly influenced by society's standards, rules and appearance on the inside bc of that filter. Like they don't really "think for themselves"? They're much more focused on appearances than on the content of a text, speech and mercury matters.

Sorry for the ramble. Also, discovered ur blog today and I love the authenticity.

A;

love love love love LOOOOOVE this ask thank u so so much omg- mercury stuff is one of my absolute favorite things to yap abt in astrology and i consider it kinda my specialty bc im mercury dominant myself so 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

let's start with aries mercury- in my experience, people with aries mercury aren't necessarily impulsive when it comes to their thoughts or how they talk, unless the rest of the chart says otherwise (mercury square mars especially could do this imo)

my mom has her mercury in 25° aries (so an aries degree) and she's like 99% fire with a cap rising that doesn't do a whole lot bc it's SUUUUUPER intercepted by aquarius- Like literally her whole 1st house is engulfed by aquarius but her asc line is in cap so 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

she's the perfect example of an aries mercury in my opinion- she literally Cannot sit still for longer than like. an hour at best. even my gemini finds it slightly annoying but i just follow her around whenever we're talking 😭😭😭

she also has her sun and venus both in aries (venus conjunct mercury) so she's very aries dominant, and she's not very confrontational or impulsive at all- she's not really quick to anger either like stereotypical aries is, but she is pretty easily irritated id say 😵‍💫

in terms of mercury specifically, you can just See the aries influence in like everything she does- her organization isn't the neatest, but she has to have everything put away otherwise she'll lose her mind and she literally can't focus until the kitchen is clean or something-

her mercury goes a MILE a minute just like mine does so in talking to her, we can go from something very normal to the most out of nowhere conversation you could ever imagine- And we have mercury sextile mercury together (albeit a wide orb bc my mercury is 1° gemini 😵‍💫) so somehow we understand the other's chaos perfectly and actually manage to reel the other in without actually doing anything-

shockingly, where my gemini will get incredibly confused and overwhelmed, her aries will come in clutch- a good example of this is a while ago we were playing fallout 76 and if u dont know, in that game u have a stash box with limited storage capacity and it's inevitable that it'll fill up eventually so u have to get rid of a whole bunch of stuff to bring it back down-

i literally got so overwhelmed by that to the point of tears and my dad tried to help (his mercury is in taurus btw) and he literally couldn't bc i refused to open up to him tbh- so he went and got my mom and just her Being in the same Room with me got my mercury to sort its shit out- like she saw everything so clearly and directly, very aries, whereas i was overwhelmed by all the details, very gemini.

so i think aries mercury is actually a Really good placement especially if you have strong aspects to back it up- it can make you see complicated things very simply and clearly OR the opposite sometimes 😵‍💫 it Can make you overlook details and not understand something when it isn't perfectly direct- and i also notice that, at least with my mom, her aries mercury makes her a Little less good with people- only because a lot of people aren't as clear and concise as she would like them to be, and that's when i have to help her figure out what they mean 😭

i think aries mercuries do actually think things through before they speak, they just think so fast that it Seems like they don't- similar to gemini mercuries actually 😵‍💫

i also dont think they're overly emotional or hot-headed as per the aries stereotypes- i think they're actually a lot more calculated than we give them credit for especially since mars is the god of war, and to win a war you need strategy (personally i think aries rules the sun, but mars makes sense here so 😮‍💨)

ANYWYA in terms of CAPRICORN!!!!!

i have observed quite a few capricorn mercuries so i am extremely glad u brought them up-

i think what u said abt capricorn mercuries being the most useful in terms of social benefits is actually kinda real- i do notice that Most capricorn mercuries are similar to libra mercuries in that they are generally very respectful of the things they talk about, at least if they actually respect them 😵‍💫

i have 3 different capricorn mercuries that im using as examples in my head right now- jonathan davis, awsten knight and bill wurtz- if you've seen any of them in interviews, you'll notice they're all very different with the way they talk but i think jonathan davis and awsten knight are the most similar in the respect thing-

those two are both so charismatic and polite in my opinion- and bill wurtz is too but he's a lot more like what you would think an aries mercury would be like- he's very high-strung, at least in the interview i saw, and has a lot of nervous energy and talks So Fast and yet it still seems like his mouth cant keep up with his brain-

awsten is pretty similar, he's got adhd (same 😵‍💫) and talks pretty fast but his pace seems a little closer to a gemini mercury. it's slightly slower most of the time but the speed at which he talks and thinks seems to vary based on what he's talking about.

jonathan is very cap coded to me with the way he talks, and im silly for him rn so i have done extensive research 💔💔💔 But he seems very methodical, yet playful with how he talks and thinks- methodical but you can tell his brain is fully capable of that uranus level speed at the same time 😭😭😭

i think overall cap mercuries absolutely depend on the rest of the chart bc if u saw my beef with earth signs post (or newsletter!!), u'll have seen where i said earth placements are outlines waiting to be colored in by the rest of the chart-

so if someone has too many earth placements or like- a taurus-influenced cap mercury, i can Absolutely see how they could be someone who doesn't seem to think for themselves, or even thinks too Much about themselves-

i also think the smaller range of interests could actually make sense for a cap mercury because saturn is very much about mastery, so the mercury, unless influenced by another element that says otherwise, would hyperfixate on one thing until it masters it instead of a gemini or aries mercury which is more jack of all trades.

i hope this made sense and again thank u soooooo so much for this ask i really enjoyed this topic and if u have any other questions please feel free to send me them!!!!! i love when ppl send me questions it makes me rly happy 😭😭😭😭

[chronicallyblogged]

Well I know when my dad is getting married but I still don't know if I'm invited. I asked "am I expected to go?" I purposely phrased it rudely so he would have a valid reason to not invite me that wouldn't make him look bad and be on me. Bc im more easily forgiven by my sister. But the fucker ignored me and just talked about some health stuff. It's stressing me out. Would it be nice for my dad to want me there? Yeah? Does his fiance try her best to not say a word to me and there is likely people who im no contact with going? Yeah. So i don't want to go. I'm pretty sure fiance doesn't want me to go. I'm pretty sure my dad doesn't either just because of the issues his fiance has with me (bc yknow I spoke up against his abuse so im a bad child and wants to hurt her relationship). Like pls just say you are at capacity for ppl or something

What i don't want is for him to avoid the subject. The day to come and go. And I'm not invited or not invited. Just him hiding from confronting an uncomfortable conversation. Which is what he usually does

[f0point5]

Boy doesn't wanna hide her and she's not trying to hide him too. I don't think 2 celebs had terrible experience with their "fans" for their ex relationships would be so ok with showing their new rs to public. (They weren't even couple-ish too) and the way they both keep denying allegations and just dgaf about going vacations with friend groups and getting caught at cameras while skiing or driving around don't seem like a rs but friendship. I think other rumoured girls had something with him and it's pretty normal for young guys ang girls like them. Magui might did problematic stuff in past but it isn't the reason she gets hate VERY CLEARLY. Comments under her pics are "stay away from j/l" lmo 😒

Long story for short they seem like friends and she in fact looks like a funny person in friend groups. I say it bcs of her and her other friends' interactions are so funny. No reason to bully her ffs 😇

Yeah they just seem like friends. You’re not always laughing and having long ass conversations with your friends and especially not in public where you’re aware you’re being filmed. They clearly enjoy each other’s company in some capacity so…whatever.

To me they don’t seem like a couple but if they are and they want people to know, they will make it clear eventually

[msommers]

4, 16, 18 for maeve, meredith and jorina!

ok listen do NOT look @ me for this taking so long i WASN'T absorbed in laying in bed, staring @ the ceiling, constantly thinking thoughts but never writing them down. that's crazy talk. anyway thank u ily <333 // oc asks: childhood edition // placing the read more higher up than usual bc shocking nobody, i don't know how to keep answers short and i wanna save everyone's dashboards from this

4) How was your muse's relationship with their childhood guardians? Has it changed over time, and if so, how? Do they keep in touch?

so check it out. i read this question an entirely different way the first time i saw it and had different answers, doubted them for like 15 minutes straight, then redid it all upon realization. so now here we are

MAEVE — bad! not good!! never improved!!! i wouldn't even call Maeve's parents her guardians in any capacity because they were so horrible at that job. they started lowkey coercing her into developing her charm when she first caught a man's attention for being pretty because they wanted to get stuff out of it, emotionally neglected her the entire time she lived with them, made her feel guilty about the most ridiculous things on a regular basis, literally sold her to Carden the same day he voiced his interest in taking her away, etc etc add a dozen other offenses here. what changed over time would be Maeve having the distance and years to process how they treated her (mother straight up abusive, father on a lower level and mostly through his inaction), accepting it, and working on the struggles/damage they saddled her with. no contact at all, even if i did entertain the age old concept of her discovering where they moved to during her travels with a witcher or two, she wants nothing to do with them.

MEREDITH — so close to both parents, her father maybe a little more so due to extra time together but that didn't lessen the bond between her and her mother. Meredith and Bryce spent a great deal of time together as she was interested in following in his footsteps, and eventually being heir of the teyrnir, which required a ridiculous amount of educating (required is a strong term, but they both agreed it was excellent to have and she loved her lessons) and additional hands-on experience being at his side while he attended his duties. they knew how to make each other laugh, his hugs were her favorite thing in all of Thedas, and she was all but his official right-hand lady by the time origins came around tbh. Sometimes she'll make a snide comment that she knew he would have laughed at and it causes a physical ache how terribly she misses the sound. Eleanor was the one to initiate Meredith's rogue training to further her capability, and that's something she'll always be grateful for. Her mother taught her how to read maps, calculate numbers in a battle, properly host visitors, she was also the one to give her lessons in Alamarri to help preserve the language. They could soothe each other's nerves or irritation simply by being at one another's side, and held entire conversations through glances and expressions alone. Her mother's smile always filled her with warmth and she spends the rest of her life wishing she could see it just one more time.

JORINA — so much love was present, even in the times of trying to figure her out. she and her father were happy in their quiet art activities together, but she shied away from his affection when it became too overwhelming. her mother supported Jorina's fierce independence without question, but couldn't understand the introvert’s need to recharge and on occasion pushed her a little too far outside of her boundaries. they were most likely at the stage of classic moody arguments between a mom and teen before Wenna’s death and Jorina regrets that to no end. Renehn fell into a severe depression after Wenna was gone (plus some other events of the blight but who has the time to list) and it irrevocably altered he and Jorina's relationship as she was forced to step up in her mid-teens to provide for the family, but fortunately they get the time to heal from individual wounds and come together down the line to slowly rebuild their relationship with great patience and new understandings of each other. Jorina finding her own love helped an immeasurable amount with her coming to understand what her father went through because she doesn't know what the fuck she'd do with herself if anything happened to Aleksi. they kept in contact through Jorina's letters sent back home while she worked for the Inquisition (her siblings would read them to him until he was able to do so himself), and through the occasional visit when time was free for it. level of contact after events of trespasser depends on what happened there i guess lmao

16) If your muse could say one thing to their childhood self, what would they say? Would your muse want to meet their childhood self in the first place?

MAEVE — she would jump at the chance to meet her childhood self because the girl desperately needed love and attention that she’d be all too happy to provide, no matter how short their time together would be. trouble is!! this would likely be one of the rare scenarios where she’d struggle to find the right words, because her list of potentials would be so goddamn long she wouldn’t know where to start. she’d likely end up giving her a much-needed hug, a kiss to the top of the head, and telling her smth like “you are stronger than any deterrent that this world may try to put in your path, love. never doubt that.” bc y’know. soft girl gonna soft and not recognize the strength needed to endure all the shit she suffers to reach her happiness lmfao

MEREDITH — “never doubt your instincts. not even for a moment.” it was the doubt that Rendon could be up to anything truly horrible That EveningTM which led to Meredith holding her tongue, perhaps a gentle (or rather: intense as hell, calm down she's just a kid, mere-) nudge could alter that. could change everything, could change absolutely nothing at all, worth the shot tho.

JORINA — she wouldn’t want to meet her childhood self one bit, she'd get so depressed lol. even when she was young, Jorina was always trying to act older than she was and missed out on a lot of the youthful joy and activities she should’ve had because of that. she’d want to tell her to go play with the other kids, put down the chores for a few hours and just have fun, but i don’t think she’d be able to do it. she’d be too upset about the reminder incarnate of how she wasted her happy, full family years batting her mother’s helping hands away and insisting she could handle big girl things on her own.

18) What's one thing that instantly transports your muse back to their childhood? Why?

MAEVE — hearing a child being snapped at in a particular tone (most often by parents in the upper echelons of society) will, sadly, always send her back to being a little girl getting scolded by her mother. she can recognize later in life that she was being chastised for simply acting as an excitable child should, but falling back into those memories brings the shame of "disappointing" and "embarrassing" her mother back to the surface. 

MEREDITH — sometimes chatting with Delilah brings her back to their early teenage years, where they would trade gossip through whispers and giggle as they linked arms before gliding off to find a new source of information, or perhaps a private space to more openly discuss their findings. smth smth prime example of girlhood and she misses that innocent fun, wishes that it hadn't been taken by forces outside of her control. 

JORINA — counting her coin. whether it be checking what's on her person or what she'd been paid for recent scouting work, she'll sometimes flash back to the numerous nights she spent counting and recounting her limited household funds as if some extra money would magically appear and she'd be able to comfortably feed the family for the rest of the week.

[sllowshow]

🏡 + casey farb

this guy SUCKS. his kids should be allowed to murder him. he has 8 kids that he knows of, and his relationships with all of them are different. i think he has in the past tried to design like father's day camping trips and shit with as many as possible, but it just doesn't work out. gonna go in order of the elfbar post. and also put it under a cut bc its a long one.

starting on a strong note i do think titus is his favorite kid. and i think he like doesn't outright say it but there's some preferential treatment there. he's his perfect boy he gives off everything casey thinks he gives off, there's something insane and masculine that projects big about him. but even being loved by casey is a double edged sword, because it also comes with being most involved in his bullshit. like you're the number one kid he's going to call when he's in the holding cell, you're the one he's always trying to get involved in whatever crackpot scheme he's up to this week. in the long run, it may be better to be off his radar, but he won't shut up about how he sees so much of himself in titus (because he's a narcissist) and how proud he is of him.

karma is babygirl. she's the only daughter he's in consistent contact with, so he gets to put all of his "i'll kill any guy who tries to date you" energy into her. she probably gets away with the most with him because of that, i think he has a way higher bar for the boys, so whatever karma says goes as far as he's concerned (now perhaps whitney pulls the breaks on that. but he sure wont). again though i think it's double edged because it sure seems like he's just unilaterally more interested in the boys. which isn't fair to her. but i suppose the benefits win out here they probably have one of the more positive relationships.

i don't think he talks about jace. i think he still is not equipped to really unpack that loss. he isn't comfortable with the grief, and for that reason, he just leaves it unsaid. he kind of shuts down whenever it comes up. he disappears on the twins birthday.

i think his relationship with colson is really strained for a few reasons. first of all i don't think he knows what to do with them. they don't fit in any of the boxes casey knows: they're not a son he can place the crown of traditional farb man masculinity onto. they're not a cutie daughter he can spoil in his own fucked up way. they are in consistent contact with him, which is more than some of his kids can say, but it's more because they have a relationship with whitney that requires being around/getting along with casey. the elephant in the room though is always jace. casey's very much tried to avoid that conversation to a point where he's overlooking colson as well, even though they're separate people and colson is still here to have a relationship with.

mycah is not blood but is a farbling in that he made a huge deal about how she lived mostly with them growing up. their relationship is tumultuous: sometimes she gets to be another one of his babygirls, but there are lines she can cross where he throws the fact that he helped raise her into her face, like he didn't Have to do that etc. but i think she's just as good as dishing it back to him, and they are skilled at like having a blow out screaming at eachother fight but then they both cool down and move on. neither of them has the capacity to make it that serious.

i think he and skeeter see their relationship in different ways. casey looks at skeeter and thinks he's soft. he thinks this is a kid who needs to learn how to be a man (because who's gonna do it otherwise? his mom? his mom's lesbian lover?) so he's always made an effort to reach out and include him in things. but in my head skeeter is innocent little baby who just doesn't pick up on that as much as he could. like he's hearing the sermon and all and finds that annoying but is less upset by the fact that that's what their relationship is. kind of like a haha family can be crazy perspective when its like oh no that man is demented in some way. skeeter perhaps stop putting up with that.

mavrick really genuinely does not have many kind feelings for casey i think he's the kid who feels the most slighted/left out in the cold in his relationship with casey. multiple times in his life, i think he's tried to go no contact, and they make it a while without speaking, but casey will show up at his work or mavrick will make an effort to see one of his siblings and casey will check wind and crash. he's never let casey meet someone he was dating and he doesn't plan to start any time soon. the less this guy knows about his life the better. and i think he really does struggle with knowing that's half of him. i was joking about him sterilizing himself but ultimately i do think he's very conflicted about having biological children, because he doesn't want to look at his kids and see casey. if he does ever have a family, he wants it to be his own, and be one of the only things his dad can't taint.

the additional two known kids are both daughters (one grew up with her mom uptown. her mom told him she was pregnant and gave him a chance to be involved but eventually cut him out of their lives. they're not in touch now and none of his other kids have met her.) [the other he sees a few times a year. she's met at least his kids with whitney. she considers her step-dad more of a dad though. she calls him casey, never dad.]

[coeurify]

I'm not sure if you saw the update Abt irl Ellie yet but here's another one because my best friend is being mean to me. I've been at Ellie's house every night since like the 21st. Almost 7 days and I am dreading going home. She takes care of me rin. She makes me food, makes me shower, brushes my hair, and holds me. Yes that's like bare minimum but she's doing more in a week then my ex did in a year. She's so good to me. She is so special I wanna wrap her in a blanket and hide her. She's so gentle and patient too. She's been kinda weird for the past couple days, like not wtf is wrong with you weird, but instead she's been focused on something else and won't tell me what it is. And it's on her phone so I just hope it's not another person bc I really can't handle another person involved. As of rn we are just friends who sleep together and I don't like that. I talked to her about it this morning and she just looked at me so sad and said "love we can have this conversation right now or you can tell me what's actually bothering you first." She knows me and I'm not sure how to feel about that because I don't let people in and I definitely don't let people in I have nothing with. I will cry if things don't become normal in the next couple days because I ran away from her and hid in her bedroom. She came into the room and laid down resting her head on me like usual and she's still holding me tight, so I don't think anything is horridly wrong but it's still off.

GAHHH MY ANON :(( this all sounds so!/$2&2 yay that you hit it off with her but im sorry abt things feeling off. dont let yourself worry too much abt it rn ok? shes lucky to have u in any capacity and i hope she knows that!! im sure everything will be ok soon