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thenavysealkie · 1 year ago

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New Best Spuds || Jade & Marcus

Setting: The Fryer's Club

Time: Mid-August

Parties: @highoctanegem & @thenavysealkie

Triggers: None

Summary: Jade and Marcus go to a local fry restaurant to settle a debate between soggy and crispy fries. In the process, they get to know each other better.

Jade did not think her silly little fries question (that she totally posted to start discourse cause she was so bored in her apartment) would’ve gotten her to this moment. Waiting to do some kinda taste test with a new friend. Pretty much like one of those old school Youtube videos posted by people who were all facing lawsuits these days. Fun!

(By the way, she would’ve made the best youtuber. If it weren’t for the vampires getting in the way of her dream. She even had the family drama to monetize. And the ukulele. But, whatever. That ship had sailed).

Sitting across Marcus, she smiled politely as the waiter set everything they had ordered on the table. Both crispy and soggy type of fries.The Fryer’s club was definitely a hidden gem. Jade, who was new to town, would've never found out about it if she hadn’t picked up an order from this place a few days ago. It was fate, really. The universe knew she was in need of a fry intervention. “Can I be like, actually honest with you for a second?” she leaned closer, eyes shining mischievously. She grabbed her glass, making a dramatic pause to sip on her Sprite. “I…so, actually. I love…crispy fries” she held her head down, feigning shame. She tapped both hands on the table, letting out an exaggerated sigh. “The jig is up! I’m afraid”.

Marcus was a bit reluctant to meet up with the random woman he had met on the internet. After all, he was just trying to set people straight on which fries were superior, and now here he was at the Fryer’s Club ready to meet up with somebody. Some people just couldn’t believe others until they see for themselves. Not that Marcus could have blamed her, he was just as skeptical about her ridiculous soggy fries superiority.

So now here he was across the table from a girl who seemed to be very energetic. Not that he minded, he could use a little positivity and energy after all. Marcus was very excited to see a big basket of nice, hot, golden crispy fries laid out in front of them, they smelled delicious. Suddenly, Jade leaned in and said she had a confession of some sort to make.

Great thought Marcus. She had been a bit flirtatious in their messages over the internet, but he really was hoping she wouldn’t make an awkward situation in a public place like this. He’s had women hit on him before, of course. Most took the news of him being gay pretty positively, others not so much. Crying women was already a bit much for Marcus to deal with, but a crying woman in public? He’d rather skip town and change his name than have to deal with the inevitable dirty looks people would shoot at him.

Marcus leaned in very attentively, already planning how he’d respond before Jade even began to speak. She… liked crispy fries? The whole time?

“So… you have good taste after all, then? Thank God, I was a little worried there was something wrong with you. Now we’re just two crispy fry loving buddies hanging out.” He let out a nervous laugh and quick sigh of relief. “Thanks for showing me this place by the way! I can already tell this is gonna be good, so let’s dig in.”

Marcus looked nervous right before Jade revealed her truth, and she couldn’t help wondering why that was. “Did you think I was gonna say I killed someone or something?” she grinned, taking two crispy fries and dipping them in ketchup before bringing them to her mouth. “You looked so scared for like, a split second” she continued, giving an innocent shrug. “I can promise you, I can’t even hurt a fly. Like, it’s so icky, you know? No. I can’t, I couldn’t do it, ew” She shuddered at the idea of swatting a fly. And yeah, maybe it was a little funny considering what she did to vampires but like... One of those was technically alive and one wasn’t. So her logic was totally flawless.

Jade grabbed a clean fork, her eyes darting to the other basket, filled with cheesy goodness. “I have excellent taste” resting her head in her hand, she winked at him. “Yup, yes I do love crispy fries. I mean, I’m pretty sure it’s like, the perfect food. But!” she stabbed a group of fries, pointing the fork at him. Some of the cheese sauce dripped down to the table. “Don’t get it twisted, bud. I still would pick these over them” she glanced at the basket of crispy fries. At the end of the day, she got to eat fries, the best food ever (except for tacos, but that was a whole different thing), so she was winning either way.

“Oh, yeah… I’ve gotten lots of orders for this place. So I figured there’s gotta be something about it” Jade waved him off, but she tilted her head, watching him curiously. “Did you not know about it? Oh! Are you a newbie like me? Cause I’m still looking to start a tourist club”.

Marcus watched as his companion stabbed at her fries. He took a few moments to enjoy the fries himself, these were really good. And he grew up only a short drive away from NorCal, so he knew good fries when he tasted them.

He noted her comment about not hurting a fly seemed a bit defensive. It’s true he had probably let his muscles and face tense up a little too much because he didn’t want an awkward situation. He definitely didn’t want to give off the impression he was scared of her. These were just two friends hanging out and bonding over their love of potatoes.

“I’ve just had one too many bad confessions happen out of the blue, I couldn’t tell if you were being serious or not. I didn’t know what I expected but I definitely can’t see you hurting anyone”.

It was true, she was a bright ray of sunshine. Definitely not the type to go assaulting people in the middle of the night.

“I’ve been here a few months. I know a few places, but there’s some hidden gems in this town that I haven’t heard of yet. This place loves to keep secrets.” He took a pause for a second, before adding “I’m guessing you’re a delivery driver then? How long have you been at that for?”

“Oooh,” Jade tucked her hand under her chin, looking at Marcus with interest. If there was one thing she loved, it was gossip. And drama. “What kinda confessions?” she grinned, raising her eyebrows, delighted to hear him out. And like, the chances of actually getting any tea were low, sure, but she had learned that there was no shame in asking. (In her opinion there should be very little shame in anything, really). And sometimes Jade ended up encountering friends just like herself, ready and willing to spill.

“But yeah, it’d be super hard, I think like…” Jade balled her hand into a fist, extending her arm to show the size difference against her companion’s much bigger hand. “Look it, this is barely tickling anyone” she sighed, feigning disappointment. In reality, she didn’t need a strong left hook, or to be well trained in martial arts. It was all about marksmanship for her.

Jade brought another bite of soggy fries to her mouth, humming along to Marcus' explanation. She had met so many people who claimed to be new in town. Almost as if they were spawning out of nowhere. It was a pretty interesting phenomenon. “You’re so smart, drawing conclusions and stuff” she said, pointing one limp fry at him. “Yup! I am a delivery driver, I wasn’t one before I came to town” she reached for the already melting straw of her drink, taking a sip. “Baby’s first real job. My life before was a little more… unconventional” though to her family, there was nothing more traditional than killing the undead. “What about you?”

Now it was Marcus’s turn to mess with his new friend. She was asking him for juicy gossip, after all.

“Oh the usual. ‘I’m on the run for tax evasion’ or ‘I had my license taken away’. My favorite was probably the ol’ ‘I killed a man in cold blood behind an Applebee’s back in 1997.’ That was probably, by far, my weirdest encounter.” He spoke with a completely stony expression on his face, before allowing his face to drop and start laughing, smacking the top of the table as he did so. “Kidding about that last part of course, but the others were surprisingly true!”

He wasn’t surprised to see her hand in comparison to his own. He knew he had big proportions and could throw his weight around very well. She seemed disappointed that she couldn’t hurt anyone, at least not with brute strength. But, to Marcus, the innocence that comes from being harmless was something he envied.

He raised an eyebrow at the mention of “unconventional”. There were a lot of folks in this town who he would certainly place under the category of unconventional. The more he met and spoke with people, the more he learned that just about everyone here had some kind of story to tell and lead lives that were much more than met the eye.

“I keep watch at the lighthouse on Hanging Rock, doing maintenance work when necessary. If there’s any kind of shipwreck, I call the incident into the Coast Guard so they can launch a rescue. Thankfully, I haven’t needed to do that. I also kind of play the role of lifeguard, unofficially, as I have had to jump in and save a few drowning swimmers every now and then. Aside from that, I did a little stint in the military. Navy veteran.” Legally dead, he finished in his head. Not exactly an honorable discharge.

“What brought you out here?”

She quickly caught onto the joke, her eyes growing wide and shiny. “Not the Applebees!” Jade loved people with a sense of humor so, so much. In her opinion, it was way more attractive than any good looks available. A chiseled jaw sagged and perfect skin wrinkled with time anyway, so. She gasped dramatically, her portion of fries hanging mid air. “Right in front of the chicken penne? That’s just bad form”. She shook her head at the absurdity, but began to understand why he had been so spooked before. Though, if she were to tell him real things about herself, she might have a story or two (or like, a dozen) that might surpass a stranger’s tax evasion. She didn’t want to scare him, though. He seemed…super cool, going along for the fries journey and all. “For real, though… I have no crime stories for you” her lips twisted into a frown as she lied. “Except for like, speeding. But is it against the law if you don’t get caught?” She pointed another fry at him and winked.

“Oooh, a lighthouse? That’s so cool” Jade wanted to ask if the place was haunted, cause… weren’t lighthouses always haunted? And surely he had like, so many spooky stories to tell. But another thought got in the way, as it was usually the case. A way more important one anyway. “Lighthouses always remind me of Pokemon for some reason. You know the one?” She had come to learn that many Wicked’s rest residents were averse to all things pop culture, so she could never be sure if she was gonna have to explain what Pokemon was to him. (Not that it would be a problem to explain Pokemon. Or talk. It was just, the principle). “And please, tell me you get to wear a skimpy red bathing suit” she tacked on with a playful eyebrow wiggle. “Oh wow, you’ve been around, huh?” Jade shifted on her seat, growing slightly uncomfortable at the mention of the military. But hey, the uniforms were hot anyway, right?

She reached for her drink when Marcus asked for for the reason she was in town. The question was always a little annoying (or a lot). She wanted to tell people. How else was she gonna get allies on her side if she couldn’t explain what she was after? But a voice that suspiciously sounded like her sister kept chiming in, pointing out discretion and pragmatism and…it was all way too boring for Jade’s liking and how she wanted to approach her tiny problem. (But for some reason, she still seemed to value Ruby’s opinion over her own) (Not cause she doubted herself or anything) (Cause… no way. Nope). “You know how I didn’t wanna scare you? Welp! All a lie. I’m actually a hitman. Out here, looking for a VIP target” she sighed, speaking in half truths at least made her chest feel less tight. She took a gulp of her drink, clicking her tongue in frustration. “Just some errands I have to run, really” she rolled her eyes. “Family business, super boring, don’t wanna bother you with it” she waved him off, stealing some crispy fries from the basket. And, oh right… She still had questions about the lighthouse. Maybe it could help gauge his knowledge of the supernatural. And then, maybe she could come clean. “So… Do you get ghosts in your lighthouse?”

Marcus was very glad to see that his joke had landed, and returned an appreciative laugh when she brought up the chicken penne. Sometimes the food there alone was enough to kill a man, and he found himself grateful that his new friend found a more reputable place to eat.

“Pokemon?” Marcus asked inquisitively. When he was a kid he joined in on the craze, watching the TV show on 4Kids whenever it would come on and bringing his gameboy to school so he could play at recess. But he grew out of it quickly and hadn’t played the games since he was in grade school. But he had to admit, he had some great memories associated with that time of his life. “Haven’t played those games since I was…probably 10. But isn’t there a lighthouse in the TV show? I remember Ash and the gang having to go to Bill’s lighthouse for something. Maybe that’s what you’re thinking of?”

He had to chuckle a bit at the bathing suit comment. While he was never into speedos, he had no doubt that he would look damn good in one.

“I hate to disappoint you, but red speedos aren’t exactly my swimsuit of choice. But yeah, I’ve definitely been around! I wish I could have traveled to those places under better circumstances, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers.” He thought back to his tours and decided most of them were pleasant, or as pleasant as being a cog in a massive war machine could be.

“Ghosts? Funny you mention that, I did have one at the lighthouse. But I called in an expert and mercifully laid his spirit to rest”. He decided to leave out the bit about fighting the water zombie, he didn’t know just how open to the supernatural this woman was.

“Ah, I see. A hitman, or hitwoman I should say. Who’s your target? Some Russian spy? Maybe somebody’s former lover? The president? Nah, I’m not sure why the president would be here of all places. The mayor? Does this town even have a mayor?” He thought momentarily, because he actually wasn’t sure if he had ever seen or heard of this town’s mayor before. “I get it, you could tell me, but you’d have to kill me. If that were the case, I’d have to wish you the best of luck with that,” he finished with a smirk”.

“Pokemon!” Jade confirmed eyes wrinkling happily. Someone knew like, regular things in this town. The classics. Maybe the fact that Marcus wasn’t from around played a good part in that. “I don’t remember if I ever played the games…my siblings didn’t let me—Oh, WAIT! Pokemon Stadium! You played that one?” She almost banged the table from her excitement. That would’ve been such a poor choice actually, cause the baskets were a little flimsy and no fry deserved to be spilled. She shoved another handful into her mouth, wiping her hands on the napkin before continuing. “I don’t remember exactly the situation with the lighthouse. It was one of those…Dragonite episodes, I think. Early stuff. I was so young it’s all fuzzy” she pointed her limp fry at him. “Point being, lighthouses are totally cool”.

Jade let out a big dramatic huff, rolling her eyes and twisting her lips into a sad grimace. “You’re right, I am super disappointed. I’m sure you’d be a hit with the ladies” or the guys too, that was super cool with her, obviously. “Mmm, I’m glad you’re here and not there though,” and Jade found herself feeling pretty earnest in that regard. “Would you be having the greatest fries in the world, with the best company you can think of over there? No freaking way, bud”.

She gasped at the mention of a ghost in his turf. Alright so, even if she’d dealt with the undead for most of her life, ghosts were still like… a cool cousin she didn’t get to visit a lot, but she totally loved. She would be so thrilled to run into more of them. Not the evil kind, though. (Maybe more like, Devon Sawa in Casper type. Or Denny Duquette, but without all the plot contrivances). Where was she? Oh. Marcus had a ghost in his lighthouse. “Ooooh, that sounds brave. I’ve dabbled in some ghost hunting myself, but like totally amateur” she liked that he was upfront about it too, it made for an easier segue into spookier topics. “This place is probably a hotspot, huh?”

Jade found all of Marcus' playful guesses incredibly entertaining. “Ugh, see��All of that sounds way more fun than the real thing”. She wasn’t the person to ask about how the town was run, she like…didn’t even know where her apartment was most of the time. “Just some old dude, all influential and stuff, you know” She blew raspberries, reaching for her soda. “You get it, babe. And I’ve grown fond of you, I’m afraid…I would not want to kill you”. She nodded, hanging her head in mock shame. She knew, obviously… by the lack of spidey senses tingling, that Marcus wasn’t undead, but even the thought of having to harm one of the few people who had been nice to her since she came to town was like, super depressing.

He had to admit, Marcus enjoyed the energy that his new friend was putting out. Plus, who else here would know about Pokemon? It wasn’t something he had played or watched since he was young, but it still brought him a sense of nostalgia which he enjoyed being able to share with somebody else. He reached for another of handful of fries.

“Pokemon Stadium 1 and 2! And Pokemon Snap, now that was my jam!” He nodded approvingly. He had to admit, this girl had great taste. A woman of culture, as it were.

“As a matter of fact, I was quite a hit with the ladies. Well everyone really…not to brag or anything.” It wasn’t something he could really talk about while still coming off as modest. But to be fair, he also loved bragging about it.

“What kind of ghost hunting have you done? I only did that the one time because he wouldn’t stop sliding stuff around and making noises, it was very distracting! But I’ve been interested in doing other haunts, so I’d love to hear some of your stories! Definitely a hotspot over here though. If it’s creepy and wants to kill you, it probably lives here.”

Marcus raised an eyebrow with mock suspicion. “Ahh, the influential old men make the best targets! They may seem boring, but man do they have a lot of sway over other people’s lives sometimes.” That was a truth he had lived through many times in his naval career. Good young men being sent off to kill other good young men so a few old men can line their pockets. One fewer of them wouldn’t really be such a bad thing, assuming he deserved it.

“Well it’s good you don’t want to kill me. You’d be in a lot of trouble if you did” he said, giving his right bicep a flex to emphasize his physical advantage over her. “I’m glad we get to just be friends then. I’ve had a lovely time so far, this is probably the most fun I’ve had eating fries before. And that’s saying something!”

“There’s a second one? I don’t know if I remember that one very well” Jade squinted, her fries hanging mid air. A second Pokemon Stadium sounded so fake. She reached for her phone inside her bag, quickly typing away the question for the search engine to answer. In the meantime she absently sipped on her drink. “I remember playing one with cards too… And by that I mean, I’d steal Jasper’s game boy at night and try not to leave any trace. OH! Pokemon Stadium 2 does exist,” she grinned, without looking up from the screen. Maybe she’d text her siblings about it, confirm they infact didn’t not get that one growing up. Her curiosity satisfied, locked her phone and put it aside. She had a date to be engaged in, after all.

“Nope. Nuh uh, you should brag. I support it, I demand it in fact. You gotta be confident in what you have. AND! In what you don’t have, even. That’s the trick” Jade winked at him, deciding she liked him enough to share that little secret with him. (So what if her confidence had some ‘fake it till you make it’ aspects? It got the job done in the end didn’t it?) “I only hang out with cool people, so… gotta keep up, babe” she quipped, with a playful shrug. (And sure, okay…she found almost everyone cool, in their own right) (It didn’t make her statement a lie).

“Okay so, me personally? Zero. But like, stay with me… I didn’t lie. Sometimes… my siblings would let me tag along in their… little adventures. So I totally got to see them banish a few. Give me a bag of salt, I'm ready to jump into action, I say!” She nodded so confidently, the table shook with the full body movement. Jade’s gaze narrowed for a moment, mulling over Marcus word’s. If it’s creepy and wants to kill you, it probably leaves here. Funny. If it was such a charged town, then it could shed some light as to why the elder vampire she accidentally released decided to visit. Maybe it wasn’t after someone. But something.

Jade quirked an eyebrow, playing with her food as Marcus made a pretty astute comparison between old, rich men and elder vampires' ability to compel others. Maybe he knew about other stuff besides ghosts. Or maybe, (you know, the most obvious answer) he might have been referring to his time serving. But she was totally curious either way. “Yup, yup… Exactly. You get it, babe”. Her laugh echoed around the whole restaurant while he flexed his giant bicep at her, paying no attention to the looks she got. (They weren’t the kind of looks she was interested in, anyway). She covered her mouth, though her eyes were filled with joy. “Alright babe, this is a family establishment, no need to put on a show. You’re gonna get everyone hot and bothered”. She bit her tongue, reaching for her almost empty glass of Sprite. “A toast then?” she wiggled her eyebrow, demanding him to mimic her action. “To me sparing your life, obvi. And… hm. To trying every single fry there is to try in this awful little town! How about that? Anything else you wanna add? The beautiful company…perhaps?”

Marcus had to admit he was a little offended his new friend didn’t believe him to the point that she had to fact check him. While he may not have played since he was a kid, Marcus knew his Pokemon games. At least up until about Gen 3, then he stopped paying attention. “Of course there’s a Stadium 2. I used to play that game for hours with my cousin growing up”.

“Well it’s as they say” he began with a smirk, “if you’ve got it, flaunt it. As long as you don’t break any obscenity laws, of course”. Marcus was proud of the figure he’d been able to maintain, even with the loss of his pelt sapping his strength away for a few months.

“Banish? Are they exorcists or something? Usually the paranormal investigators I see hear a floorboard creak and start screaming and running out of the house. But the fact that you actually know a thing or two is impressive!” Even he didn’t know exorcism or banishment was even possible, let alone witnessing a spirit be banished firsthand. This girl got more and more interesting as the night went on.

He didn’t really put much thought into his little gun show, just wanted to make a fun little point about their physical differences. However, he now caught the stares of a few of the restaurant patrons and realized he was coming off as one of those douchey gym rats who like showing off wherever they go. He sheepishly rolled his sleeve back down and turned his attention back to Jade. “Maybe I’m flaunting a bit too much, eh?”

“Agreed. To a beautiful friendship, and to many more fry adventures in our future. And of course, your infinite mercy in not killing me, that’s always a great reason to celebrate”. He took his diet coke and clanked his glass against hers. “We should definitely do something like this again soon”.

#wickedswriting #highoctanegem #thenavysealkie

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storiesofsvu · 3 years ago

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hi bestie! hope you’re doing great! 😊

out of curiosity, realistically, do you think Rita and Barba would’ve worked out? (as in a relationship obviously haha)

who do you think she’d make a lovely couple with?

hey bestie!! i dont have to work today so things are going swell lolol.

Okay, i have whole ass theories on this, and a couple of fics/series on the docket to include some Barhoun stuff.

Sometimes... I believe that they dated back in college, somehow became friends, spent lots of time studying, late nights, add in a little bit of booze into the mix and one thing lead to another and they fucked. It was out of sheer convenience that it continued or became something more. like, they were both heavy into school, focusing on future careers and making it in the legal world and a lot of other people may not have understood that and demanded more time/effort into a relationship. Whereas with each other it's just a couple of added little kisses when they greet each other, studying while cuddling and some sex added into what their friendship was prior. And then that's that, they graduate, both start working and out of that little Harvard bubble they kinda realize that they're not relationship material but stay good friends and the occasional fuck buddy. AND, while I fully believe that Lucia and Rita are the BEST of friends and Rita takes her on shopping trips and invites out to the hamptons and they gang up on Raf sometimes in a teasing way only a bestie/gf and a mom can, that Rita's parents *absolutely* would *not* approve of their daughter dating Barba. I canon her parents to not be the best, and obvi they're rich and upper east side kinda ppl. So the scholarship kid from the Bronx isn't going to be good enough, ya know?

Option 2: of them just being besties and not dating through college is kinda they casually date as adults, things don't get too serious because they simply *cannot*. Rita likes to dote on people, she likes to gift, she'll *regularly* come home with presents ranging from Raf's favourite sweet treat from the bodega on the corner to cufflinks from Tiffany's kinda thing. She spoils, a lot. And Raf can't deal with that, because they do come from very different backgrounds and he sees it as both a waste of money and like he's a charity case. Make sense? Like, while they both do have some fancy tastes, he just doesn't always feel like he fits into Rita's world. NOW in this situation (and this is the premise for an upcoming series); there is an easy solution. Raf also feels like he's not that great of a partner because he's always working late, can be standoffish/brash, or not always there. Rita's like, too much for him, so... if you add in a third person to make a throuple/poly, THEN Barhoun works. Poly Barhoun is just the far superior ship, Rita has someone to spoil and fawn over, Raf knows that his (third) partner has someone with them and taking care of them when he ends up sleeping in his office cause a case load is too much.

Now: canon wise, here are my speculations pertaining Barhoun.

s14: we first meet the two of them, they're very obviously still banging. Like, they're almost *too* flirty but trying to cover up the flirty if that makes sense. it's all "ms calhoun" "mr barba" with these little smirks, the "ms calhoun, long time no see" and she returns it with a little nod and a grin like she didn't wake up in his bed that morning. PLEASE. you're fooling NO ONE. potentially also dating at this point.

s15: still casual, still banging with potential dating. rita reps liv & amaro in this season, they clearly can't afford her, so it's obvi a favour for Barba.

s16: they fucking FIGHTING in this season, something went down, rita's willing to let it go but barba's got a stick up his ass and when he doesn't back down, she obvi fights fire with fire. they're at each other's throats in her first ep of the season and still tense in the second (my personal two fave options for this are: barba found out about rita/tucker and is irked she never mentioned it. OR, Rita fucked Liv and barba's livid because rita obvi would know that barba was harboring feelings)

s17: back to being friends, whatever happened, the water's cleared, they're still not perfect, but they're back to the teasing and the little games. s18: similar vibes.

Rita: while she has chemistry with plenty of the SVU characters, and a lot of them seem like they could work with her, there's always an issue that wouldn't make it work long term. The only person I can see her successfully being in a long term relationship with is Casey.

#barhoun #law and order svu #rita calhoun

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misha-moose-dean-burger-lover · 4 years ago

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for @bend-me-shape-me 's SPN advent calendar 2020. prompt: phone calls and late night texts.

Cas isn't a serial texter.

And Dean's a-okay with it.

But for all that's worth, they sure seem to have a ridiculous amount of emotionally significant conversations via, or starting off as, texts. And most often, in the middle of the night.

>>> hello, dean. [12:07 am]

Dean jolts up at the sound, realizing he fell asleep still wearing his headphones, with the laptop on his lap (and a new episode of The Good Place playing) and rolls his eyes at himself, hitting pause before he can see what’s happening (because he has good reflexes, and because screw spoilers that’s why) and rummaging for his phone.

At this hour of the night, it has to be something important.

It doesn’t really strike him that Mechanical Engineering majors whose only other selfprofessed skill is air guitar aren't exactly the frontline warriors for midnight emergencies.

Cas's name shows up when he squints at the too-bright screen, and he sits up a little straighter.

<<< hey [12:09 am]

<<< you OK? [12:09 am]

The response is immediate.

>>> do you have peanut butter? [12:09 am]

And as if it's an afterthought, Cas adds.

>>> yes, I'm fine. how are you? [12:10 am]

Dean blinks.

<<< peachy. peanut butter? [12:10 am]

At least this time the response takes a while. Dean wonders if Cas realized it was midnight, and not exactly a time to run inventory on your best friend's stash of condiments.

>>> I ran out. [12:12 am]

Dean sighs, unable to help smiling.

It's not like he's a stranger to Cas's weird cravings when he's high. (There'd been this one time with pie and a traumatized Gas 'N Sip cashier that still sits heavy on Dean's conscience.) But he doesn't think Cas is supposed to be high right now — Dean's usually either invited or informed by an unspoken rule — which just means this is regular "jelly, not jam"-Cas, at his core a weird, persistently sleep-deprived economics major and astronomy nerd, that Dean may or may not have had a crush on for an embarrassingly long time, and who's also prone to grammatically perfect texting, deadpan, Disney references, and bluntness when the occasion calls for it.

<<< pretty sure i have some [12:14 am]

>>> :) [12:14 am]

>>> I'm coming over [12:14 am]

And weird as it may sound, that had turned out to be the night Cas told him he was gay. Said it had been a revelating moment, unprecedented and wholly unexpected — and apparently revelations come in pairs because it had been followed by an intense need for peanut butter, and the rest, he explained emphatically, was history.

Dean had just snorted, congratulated him, and brought out the fancier plates for sandwiches — shipped in from home instead of a sale at Target — all the while, repeating to himself in a loop, that this changed nothing between them, nothing at all, and Cas having the capacity to be attracted back to him didn't mean that he ever would be (or for hell's sake, he'd scoffed at his traitorous chick-flick-nonsense brain, is.)

The second time had been early — way, way too early and it was by pure chance that Dean was awake to respond at six friggin' am on a Sunday. Like, that’s practically nighttime.

Goddamn stupidly-fit running-freak.

Dean picks up his phone blearily, tongue in cheek as he clicks on it.

>>> I miss you [6:28 am]

>>> I'd* miss you [6:29 am]

Dean's stomach twists, and he's not sure if it's in a good way, or a bad way, or what-the-sincere-fuck-are-you-talking-about way.

<<< what [6:32 am]

<<< wtf are you talking about? [6:32 am]

Nothing.

<<< cas? [6:33 am]

<<< dude [6:34 am]

<<< cas???? [6:34 am]

Dean swears at his screen, more queasy than irritated. He can't stop fidgeting, so gives up on lying down altogether and hoists himself to his feet. Better to get his friggin' toothbrush since he's already up, and now definitely awake. Cas was so paying for this later.

He comes back, mouth mint-fresh in theory but still tasting awful and of fear and dread, and practically sags when he sees his screen blare with two messages from Cas.

>>> sorry, I had to make a call. [6:42 am]

>>> I'm not taking the job. [6:42 am]

And that's how Dean finds out about Michael (Cas's oldest brother, entitled asshole) inviting Cas to join his and Lucifer's (second oldest, bag of dicks) firm the year he graduates — invite, of course, being a loosely used word here for expecting it blindly (out of some crap he calls 'loyalty') and being readily willing to manipulate him into it.

And it's how he finds out that Cas turned them down.

"It's not who I am anymore." Cas had repeated, third time probably, and surer than before, and Dean had nodded earnestly before realizing Cas couldn't see him through the phone, and humming his affirmation instead. "And if I go back there, I'm never getting out again."

Dean'd swallowed.

"I don't want to." Cas had said, voice trembling. "I am — my own person here. It shouldn't be like this but this is the first time I have autonomy, Dean. Here is free will, and here are you. I don't — I can't. I'm not going to let them take it away."

"Good." He'd sounded shaky to even himself. "Don't."

"Yes." Cas had promised. "I'm not going."

And eventually they'd moved past the heavy talk into why-didn't-I-hear-about-this-before territory, Dean being righteously annoyed at his best friend for keeping something so huge from him, and Cas making lame (but probably valid) excuses in the name of not knowing how to explain the situation until he knew himself what he was going to do, because Dean may've been the first person he'd confided in about the insane fuckery that been his childhood and adolescence, but that still didn't mean he'd understand this, broken and convoluted.

And then Cas had nicely segued himself out of Dean's target of irritation and added, "They asked Gabriel too, by the way."

"And?" Dean didn't ever have much care for Gabriel (third oldest brother, cares about Cas, still a jerk) but Cas shared an apartment with him, so he had to face him plenty.

"He's running off to Miami."

And Dean had thrown his head back and laughed until Cas had smoothly added, "And I was wondering if you would consider moving in with me."

At which point, of course, he'd started coughing instead, because holy shit, it actually made sense (Sammy had left for Stanford two months back, and Dean lived alone in a space that had probably been two big even when there were two of them) and might actually happen, but Dean wasn't really sure how much longer he'd be able to hide his crush, sharing a friggin' kitchen with the guy.

The third time's after their first date.

(Because, well. It happened.

It happened with Dean leaning across the breakfast table to prove to Cas his bacon was superior (to cookie friggin' crunch, because goddamn is Cas a dork) and Cas taking a bite with their eyes fixed on each other's, and Dean turning red when Cas licked his lips and then, just like that, Cas swearing under his breath (definitely filed for later pondering, that bit), grabbing Dean, and kissing the living daylights out of him.

And Dean had kissed back with everything he had, hands cupping his face, and nearly melting in his arms - but then they'd separated for air and Cas had had an apologetic look on his face and when Dean had tried to lean in to kiss it away, he'd received half a smile and a shake of his head.

"Let's do it the way we're supposed to."

And Dean had known immediately what he'd meant. Let's not fuck this up by becoming best friends and roommates who sleep together. Let's...play safe.

"Okay. Uh," he'd rubbed the back of his neck. "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

"Thursday." Cas had promised with twinkling eyes, though Dean had already known he was going to say that since he knew Cas’s week at least as well as he knew his own, and two days and an anxious half of a thursday later, they went on their first date. Burgers and beer, and Led Zepp, and hands held in the Impala. Four hours later, they were back, and in their respective rooms, and Dean couldn't stop thinking about Cas.)

When his phone vibrates, Dean reaches for the bedside table.

It's at least midnight, it feels like he's been in bed for ages, and the only reason he isn't asleep is because all his brain seems to be capable of at the moment is thinking endlessly about the date. Fortunately, he's not the only one — although he's better at hiding it (practise, he'd say) because his heart is in his mouth the moment he reads Cas's text.

>>> I think I'm falling in love with you [11:43 pm]

>>> already. [11:43 pm]

Dean is very grateful for autocorrect as he types back with too-excited thumbs and a racing heart.

<<< so much for doing it the regular way cas mosby [11:44 pm]

>>> in my defense, it's been years. [11:44 pm]

<<< that part i get [11:44 pm]

<<< me too [11:44 pm]

<<< but youre supposed to wait three days before calling dumbass [11:45 pm]

Jesus, he'd never expected to blush cause of texts, but here they are.

>>> I'm texting. [11:46 pm]

And he guesses he'd never expected to giggle (he's alone there, sue him) cause of them either, but Cas apparently exists to prove him wrong about himself.

<<< good for you [11:46 pm]

He sends, biting his lip, and then lies in the silent darkness for a couple of minute, devoid of text notifications entirely, thinking uneasily — before he gives up.

They're idiots, sure, but nobody is this dumb.

<<< so when the fuck are you coming over then [11:50 pm]

>>> on my way <3 [11:50 pm]

And thinking about the lightening speed of that reply and the fucking heart emoji is enough to sustain him the entire one minute it takes Cas to get there, gently opening Dean's door, and climbing into bed — fitting in Dean's space like it's been made for him, and kissing him in greeting after leaving his phone on the table next to Dean's.

As it goes, with the confessions and the midnight cravings (and the grocery lists that keep getting piled onto through the day, and random pickup lines Cas decides are perfect to send Dean daily once he's found a website for puns, courtesy of Claire, and of course, pictures of Grease, which clog Dean's cloud in dozens whenever the ridiculously cute cat does something even slightly out of routine, god bless her lazy soul) Cas might just be a texter.

But Dean's pretty sure he's more than okay with it, so it doesn't really matter.

#spnadventcalendar2020 #destiel #destiel college au #casdean #dean is bi #texting fic #destiel fluff #best friends to lovers #+ roommates :))#deancas au #young dean winchester #young castiel #bluefirecas #rambleoncas #tearsofgrace #userpris #oh writing my writing #i had fun writing this :)#college aus almost feel like my roots at this point

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bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love · 4 years ago

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We all have the right to write the fics we want. Do people not understand FAN FICTION. Or OPINIONS. Don't force your issues onto others. Everyone is different and you are not superior. If your so high and mighty about what you think why do you send on anon.

I keep seeing people get offended by what other writers write. Saying it's not 'in character'. Or that people should be ashamed for writing certain topics (incest, rape, noncon, rape play, yandere etc). There is freedom of speech. A person can, and will, write what they want. Fan fic authors DO NOT have to write for your tastes or your beliefs. And you don't have to write for others either. But under no circumstances is it OK for you to pass judgment on them, send hate to them or act holier then thou.

I also see the comment that it's against that character, or they would never do that. IT IS FAN FICTION, they will be however the author of that story decides. If you want to get technical then nothing in a fan fiction is something they would do, including what you may think they would do because it wasn't written in the official story, Manga, game etc. THEY AREN'T REAL. So that means all ships and OC's and reader fics in general are against the character.

In the world of fan content there will always be a wide variety of ships, takes, kinks and themes, you don't get to pick what is written about and what isn't. I get comments and hate because I've done stepcest, non con and rape play amonglots of soft fluff. A lot of people write about these because of trauma or other reasons. Just cause they write it doesn't mean they would do it. Don't shame them because you don't approve.

You are not the fan content authority. Maybe the problem isn't every Fandom maybe it's people like you who make others feel bad because you don't agree. Block the tag and move on. How would you feel if you got hate because the stuff you like or write is to wholesome or soft. Stuff is tagged for a reason, to stop people who my be triggered or upset by that topic to not have to be exposed to it. If you see something that is tagged and you still read it then it's your fault for ignoring that tag.

#up to the writer #you are not the law #freedom of speech #not everything is made for you #dont need your approval #block the tag and move on #get off your high horse

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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years ago

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hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

#literally if you got through this i just respect you #this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask #i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else #ask #bataranswers #this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy #also sidenote #does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb #who cares tho latin is a dead language #big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence #here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram

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mx-kit · 3 years ago

Text

So this post I’m going to be putting this post under a read more cause the lyrics are LONG. The song is Rät by Penelope Scott and it fits Penelope VERY WELL already but it fits even more for my own headcanons (game of cat and mouse au). So I’m gonna be annotating how all the lyrics fit !!!

I come from scientists and atheists and White men who kill God They make technology high quality complex physiological Experiments and sacrilege in the name of public good They taught me everything Just like a daddy should (So for this one it’s talking about Dr M (as I heacanon he was Penelope’s bio dad by making her with Anabelle by test tube science) and his failure of being a farther at all but his legacy in science i.e. all of those experiments of elephant bats and snake scorpians, and that giant fuck off monster kaiju he made yeah the one who nearly ate sly. Its also her representation of the black baron being REALLY similar to him)

And you were beautiful and vulnerable And power and success God damn I fell for you your flamethrowers Your tunnels and your tech I studied code because I wanted To do something great like you And the real tragedy is half of it was true (Dr M’s legacy again but also taking insperation from her mother but learning the absolute horrible side of it all)

But we've been fucking mean We're elitist We're as flawed as any Church And this faux rad west coast dogma Has a higher fucking net worth I bit the apple 'cuz I trusted you But it tastes like Thomas Malthus Your proposal is immodest and insane And I hope someday Selmers rides her fucking train (Her view on Dr M and Bentley constantly feeling superior to their friends in their intellgence and how she fucking loathes it because of what it does to people.)

I loved you I loved you I loved you it's true I wanted to be you And do what you do I lived here I loved here I thought it was true I feel so stupid I feel so used I feel so used (Her joining the cooper gang having fun and then proceeding to get tossed around like a rag doll by a dragon and a damsel in distress by Lefwee. I would say it was also about her loving Bentley and falling out of love but I don’t think she loved him in the beginning like that. So it’s very obvious how used she got)

I was your baby Your first born (to Dr M) The hot girl in your comp sci class And I was Darwin's prep school dream Bred born and raised to kick your ass (To Bentley and also her knowledge in boxing) I fell for circuit boards Rocket ships Pictures of the stars If you could only be what you pretend you are (Both Dr M and Bentley, they both act like they’re something else but in the end they’re both insecure men easily made jealous)

When I said take me to the moon I never meant take me alone I thought if mankind toured the sky It meant all of us could go But I don't want to see the stars if they're just One more piece of land for you to colonize For us to turn to sand (As much as I hate Sly 4, I give it a clockwork edge for Penelope, so this is for Le Paradox using the time machine that she made advancements in just for getting rid of the coopers)

Because we're so fucking mean We're so elitist We're as fucked as any church And this bullshit west coast dogma Has a higher fucking net worth I bit the apple 'cuz I loved you And why would you lie And then I realized You're just as naive as I am You're so traumatized it makes me wanna cry (Bentley again, they’re all following this idea of being the superior in tech and intellegence and it gets them used)

You dumb bitch I loved you I loved you I loved you it's true I wanted to be you And do what you do I lived here I loved here I bought it it's true I'm so embarrassed I feel abused (Getting manipulated and used again)

Well I don't wanna eat the rich I'd have to eat my hero's first And my tuition's paid by blood I might deserve your fate or worse But I don't need your goddamn money I don't need jack shit from you So when I speak you bet your life my words are true (She feels she herself is at fault for clockwork getting into her head and just tired of it all and running not only from the law but Bentley on a moral high)

Let me level with you man As someone guilty of the game I took the help I took the cash I would've taken your last name (This, this is exactly what it says) So if any girl on earth Should get to make a call about this It would be me and as I see it You're a dick (Bentley has done quite a few dickish things throughout the series lets be honest)

So fuck your tunnels fuck your cars Fuck your rockets fuck your cars again You promised you'd be Tesla But you're just another Edison Because Tesla broke a patent All you ever broke were hearts I can't believe you tore humanity apart With the very same machines That could've been our brand new start (Bentley using ALL his tech for something selfish and ONLY for Sly and bettering their lives and not “humanities”)

And the worst part is I loved you I loved you I loved you it's true And sometimes I feel like I still fucking do I lived here I loved here I thought it was true I'm so embarrassed I feel abused

I feel so used I feel so used Take me to the moon Because I feel so used I feel so used (Shes been used since her introduction into the series her only time she wasnt was when she was the black baron. Starting out with getting into some shit she wasnt expecting with the cooper gang, damsel in distress pt.1 with the dragon, damsel in distress pt.2 with lefwee and being used like a playing chip for just TREASURE. Clockwork getting into her head and using her to hurt sly in a way only she could be convinced by (hes holding bentley back blah blah blah), then Le Paradox just not caring like the main villain does) So this is a very Penelope song for after shes come back to herself after clockworks control and thinking about literally all her life choices and how fucked up its all been.

She didn’t need to be the black baron she was just projecting Dr M, she didnt need to date Bentley she just felt l ike it was the only way to continue being in the gang because she knows how insecure men can be when not given the things they want.

Her mind break with clockwork and Le Paradoxs allience just proved it even more to her that trust is just something that really hurts in the end no matter how strong you are.

Coming out of the other end of this is HARD, her really only trust in the world right now being Neyla because of how shes hard her brain messed with clockwork too and her mother who she hasnt seen in some time.

Thanks for reading if you did this was just too good to pass up sjkdhsjkd.

#penelope #penelope airheart #sly cooper #game of cat and mouse #kits talks

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playeryumi · 3 years ago

Text

Superior Taste - Hypnosis mic event sept 2021

so this is the hypnosis mic event reaction, summary shenanigan's

its my first time doing this i hope yall like it

i am not a fluent japanese speaker an i still know so lil japanese words so i am reading with my cat maid waifu from quoapp (god bless her and her ocr even tho the grammar is shitty i can manage lol)

so i cant give you word by word conversations but i try my best to make it detailed somehow...

this react post consist of 2 current events from what i have understand its called "superior taste" welp i cant read the big text

warning if you dont like shipping brainrot especially its jyuto x doppo one im so sorry i cant help it

and we all know hypmic events are so in crack and ridiculous but im loving it lol

At Shinjuku

jakurai receive a knife from coworker, doppo receive a a grade meat from sweepstakes (he is lucky today), and hifumi receives mushrooms from a regular costumer and mantero gang decided to have a dinner party

At Yokohama

Samatoki is so bored and doesn't know what to do and Jyuto is with him so he asked what to do. Jyuto replied what if I hit you lol And Samatoki hit Jyuto lol (its important)

Samatoki said he just wanted to feel the autumn of art and reading lol And Jyuto said he can't imagine Samatoki read or appreciate art maybe he can do autumn of eating or sleeping Lol

And they cut off with a call Jyuto was ask to come back to the station because some writer is asking for an interview So he go back

well Jyuto doesn't want to agree but he said its work and he has nothing to do so he just accepted that interview

I just love his statement "I'll be go back now, enjoy your picture books"

at station

the writer they talk about is Gentaro. He was asking Jyuto to be his reference for his new novel which is about a villainous police man (Man ya hit Jyuto that much lol) With some treats about rumors Jyuto gave up lol So Gentaro was there to observe

then back to shinjuku

the mantero gang wanted to find a good saury(its a fish) to make use of jakurai's new knife

so they end up shopping to a high end grocery store (i think its name is iseya something i forgot lol) and doppo sees all the ingredients are so pricey so he is about to cri lol

hifumi said that it is once in a while and they cant enjoy good food if they dont by good ingredients

which jakurai agreed

and both jakurai hifumi started choosing pricey ingredients

and doppo is just there saying damn this rich people didnt ya know money is limited for me

and cryin inside cause the ingredients is too pricey lol

*the photo came from hypnosismic_arb twitter account*

back to station

Jyuto was working on his paperwork and watching gentaro got bored and ask if there will be something interesting will happen

And by fate someone ask jyuto for help to interrogate about the Lugeworm gang groups young head that has been caught for selling and having possession of illegal hypnosis mic

Ofcourse gentaro is excited and follows jyuto

At the last chapter of first event

on their way to the interrogation room they meet Hitoya. He said his client has called for him. jyuto remembered that young head will not speak if his lawyer was not there.

and in the end a police talked to jyuto telling him that young head of lugeworm has been escaped

next event

So yah the head escape and they tried to look for him

Lucky hitoya has gps tracker on that guy

Hitoya said that guy is a snitch of the gang and giving away information to other gangs. so they ask him to throw him off the bus

Jyuto is a loyal friend type even tho he is a dirty cop lol. he commented that he is so low to do that

So jyuto want so follow the young head (lets call him criminal from now on)

jyuto wants to chase the criminal now. gets stingy a lil on hitoya but gentaro stop him so he ask for forgiveness

Hitoya want to join because he has to get the membership badge of the gang

and we all know gentaro would love to join because he wants so see some action lol

and the jyugenhito gang was formed

According to gps the criminal is running to Shinjuku

They run all the away to Shinjuku and poor gentaro is tired lol

they end up to the shop where mantero was shopping (i forgot the name i think its iseya something)

And the criminal bump some people and he take a hostage

and suprise suprise doppo was taken hostage

(my jyuppo brainrot started the text below is not the real translation lol)

Jyuto be like: ow shit my cute crush was taken hostage

RT: Jyuto: is that kanazoka san?

itoya be like: Fuck why is my ex doing here...

RT: Hitoya: why jakurai is here

the criminal brought up his illegal microphone (we all know he cant do anything cause this bishes are strong rappers like dude haven't ya see this bishes in chuhoku tv they good)

Jyuto: luckily it's doppo Who was been kidnapped

jyuto be like: My lil bish is so strong he just take down me and rio one time and i am so proud of him

Gentaro: he just ordinary person

*Jyuto mind: hey lil bastard i believe in my little meow meow*

Hitoya: i saw the battle he has microphone with him

*Jyuto: that right*

Doppo: bbut i didn't bring it

*Jyuto: Gasp im here for you lil meow meow*

(the asterisk are just my brain rot thinking lol)

Im glad jyugenhito gang have mic and also jakuhifu gang (it should be mantero but doppo is pathetic meow meow) so 5 of them team up against the criminal

criminal said: oh shit i am so ded

jyuto be like: this is for hurting and scaring my little meow meow!

(Jyuto taking lead of 5 people because his little meow meow is in danger (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) aaaaaahhxofbsjfbfifjf)

RT:

Doppo: thank you

Jyuto: ah it's nothing

End RT

*Jyuto in inside: hell yeah i save lil meow meow today im so happy* (I'm not sure what more to say but he is screaming inside) aaaaaahhxofbsjfbfifjf

this 2 too lol Jakurai just noticed hitoya (dramatic music please)

And hifumi have a great idea As thanks for saving doppo mantero gang invited jyugenhito gang at jakurai's house And jakurai happily agreed lol

Back in the station jyuto just finished his report and gentaro teases him a lil.

Well gentaro was happy he get what he want lol And both of them went to shopping

Hitoya is in liquor store and worrying that he has to go to his ex's house aaaaaahhxofbsjfbfifjf

Ok so in that store rio and hitoya meet and for some unknown reasons they knew each other lol as i remember they still haven't meet in the second season lol or i haven't read it oh well Or maybe this is after 2nd drb

Anyway they just "how are you, im fine thank you" talk

Hitoya told rio he has to go to a dinner party later and Rio is so nice he give him something for hitoya He said it might needed in dinner party

He Said get too much so he gave some so hitoya

A package wrapped in green cloth

Hitoya didn't know the content and didn't check inside

They went to jakurai's

look at em in aprons lol

Doppo is the one who has to serve drinks because we know he is bad cook Jyuto and hitoya ask for beer and gentaro ask for tea

And they enjoy the autumn foods

doppo and jyuto just enjoying their food

They are enjoying food and jakurai and hitoya goes awkward lol

and doppo tried to stop the awkwardness in them

Then hifumi have great idea to make a dark hotpot

Hitoya explained that they randomly put ingredients in dark and eat it in dark

Doppo and jyuto just want to be normal people so the disagree with this

But jakurai and gentaro are curious

they did it

hifumi turn off the lights

and gentaro put liquid in pot

and hitoya put in some weird noise lol

and they started eating it

the others said it's weird but it's delicious

But jyuto have already a hunch what are they already eating When they open the lights they shocked with this lol

So apparently what hitoya put are insects(they said its worms) that he received from rio lol

Jyuto got so pissed he never thought he gonna eat Rio's ingredients in Shinjuku lol

And hitoya learned a valuable lesson never received anything "food" from rio again

Then gentaro died (jk he just fainted lol)

jyuto got panic but hitoya is calm cause he know jakurai is a doctor and called him

but

Jakurai is already drunk lol

And we all know what drunk jakurai is (if ya read the manga or listen to audio drama)

So apparently that liquid sound that gentaro put was alcohol. And that thing made jakurai drunk lol

And jakurai goes wild

Hitoya tried to run away

also hifumi and doppo

and jyuto ask why and out of nowhere he has been slapped by jakurai out of no where and shouting DRINK

Poor guy getting hit 2x

The hitoya tried to run away farther but

Jakurai said: omaewa no shinderu

Hitoya was like: NANI

And jakurai make doppo and hifumi his slaves and make him bring more alcohol lol

And yah that's how it ends they went

wild after If ya see hitoya and doppo card thats the next scene

Them being down bad for jakurai

I think the other cards of gentaro, jyuto, hifumi and jakurai with blue lighting are the event of dark hotpot making

I forgot hitoya's last words are he hate 2 things

1st is: doctor (im not sure if i should add cool)

2nd drunk jakurai

Lol

So ya that's all yumi signing off

man its limited to 10 images sad

Go to Game review archives for more

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amfictheatre · 3 years ago

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‘Hooooo boy here we go,’ Isabel thought to herself as she stepped into the comms room. She tried so, so hard to keep her cool when around officer lambert, but oh my FUCKING GOD he was infuriating. Enraging. Aggravating beyond description. He fucked her right off, and even for someone who quite regularly found herself in other peoples beds, she found being around him the most utterly unpleasant experience. So of course, it was only natural that he was her second in command. How the world loved to punish her hubris.

“Sam.” Her voice came out confident and powerful but inside she simply felt exhausted. With a sharp breath, Lambert responded instantly. “Captain! Haven’t I told you before you should never interrupt me while working? Never mind, don’t answer that, we’ll be here for days,” He muttered out the last bit under his breath. “Also, for the record, you’re meant to refer to me as Officer Lambert.”

Isabel rolled her eyes, desperately clinging to her calm façade. “Sure thing, officer. Just came to give you an update on the paperwork regarding the greenhouse. I figured you’d know what to do with it.”

Lambert smirked. “Are you insinuating, captain, that you are unaware of the protocol in this situation? I thought, as the commanding officer of this ship, that you’d be competent enough to realise that any matters involving the greenhouse fall under Dr Selberg, the BIOLOGIST’s jurisdiction.”

Oh that was enough. After a day of having to sit through a four hour meeting with Hui and Fourier where the sexual tension between them was so thick you could spread it on toast (revolting) and then another hour doing maintenance in Selberg’s lab due to Fischer having broken his wrist two weeks ago (honestly being in the same room as the man made her uneasy, let alone him basically breathing down the back of her neck for an HOUR) her patience had been wearing thin, but Sam somehow knew just which buttons to press. His honey-coloured eyes bore into him, his signature look of superiority leaving a taste in her mouth like gravel mixed with piss. She began slowly, quietly. “listen here, Sam. And you better listen close, you stuck-up, self aggrandising pain in my ass, cause you might not have another chance. I am a very very busy, very very stressed out woman, and I am not in the mood to take any of your shit,” it was barely louder than a whisper, but the stress she put on the sibilants betrayed the fact that she was quite ready to throttle him until he blacked out if he made one wrong move.

“Now, Sam, you are going to take these documents. you are going to give them to selberg or whoever they need to be given to. Then you’re not going to even think of bothering me about anything, I repeat any-thing until tomorrow.”

She was honestly shocked when he replied “Of course captain. As you wish.” He averted her gaze. “I will do my best to avoid you for the next thirty-six seconds. Make that thirty five. Thirty fou-“ of course it was too good to be true. Of FUCKING COURSE. She wanted to scream until her ears were bleeding, but she had no time for this shit. “Fuck you” she turned on her heel, attempted to swallow the lump in her throat and slam the door behind her, but she took only two steps and her vision was swallowed by darkness.

__________________________________________

Sorry it’s so late!! I’ve been v tired recently with exams and all that. Anyway enough excuses here’s the next lovebert (lamlace?) chapter I’m going to get a drink I’m parched I wrote this in like less than 20 mins I have no idea what I’m doing

Xoxo amfi (idk that’s just what I’m calling myself on this blog ig it’s pronounced am-fee)

#w359 #wolf 359 #isabel lovelace #w359 spoilers #fanfic #f/m #angst?#angst.#lovelace #samuel lambert #sambert #lovebert?#lamlace?#I’m so bad at ship names honestly #in other news I’m addicted to tomodachi life

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peoplecallmelucifer · 4 years ago

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Every story ever written

“Attention passengers“ A pleasant voice echoed trough the hallways “We will be arriving to Nithra 5 in half an hour. Please prepare to disembark“ John Was excited and nervous. He was a part of the group representing Earth at the art festival of the Galactic Assembly. Considering it was Earths first Time sending representatives and hew as the one giving the speech his nervousness was justified. AS they disembarked the cruise ship they were greeted by a tall and slender “It’s my pleasure to extend the greetings in behalf of the Galactic assembly. I am Nithra Suenn and was assigned as your guide during your stay“

John stood on his toes so he would be able to look Suenn in the eyes. “ Oh, thank you. I’m Jonathan grace, you can call me John, This here is Antonio Morena..” “Toni for short” the man replied “...And this is Maria Petova“ “I’m Just short” Maria replied baiting a chuckle out of their Guide May I ask something before we start though“ Sam said “Of course“ Suenn replied “Could you tell us where the envoys of the other two newcomer are.“ “Of course. If you wish I could notify their guides and see if they would be willing to arrange a meeting later today“ “That’d be lovely“ “Now If you would follow me to your quarters. I presume you would want some rest before we start the tour“ “Lead the way miss Nithra“ Sam said with a smile AS the trio followed their guide they took in the sights of the Spacedock, during the 10 minutes shuttle ride to the planet surface Toni and John were debating their upcoming speech while Maria quietly hummed a lullaby as she stared out of the window. “Miss Maria“ Suen said as she noticed the humming “oh, yes Suenn?“ “May I inquire about the melody you were... singing“ “Oh that, I was humming a lullaby I usually sing for my daughter. This is the longest I’ve been separated from her so I’m a bit Melancholic“ “Oh, quite understandable. We Tlii also have a strong bond with our family ... I’m nearly 40 and I still call my parents daily.“ The rest of the ride was marked by present small talk. When they landed The Group was given an hour to rest before they head out towards the “Palace of Art” The most famous gallery in the Explored part of the galaxy. “So folks“ John said “First impressions“ “Bit too formal for my taste but not bad. The Guide is cute too“ Maria replied “I’m hungry“ Toni replied “Well go grab something from the hotels restaurant. Suenn Said all the costs will be covered“ John said as Tonis eyes widened “So ... Free all you can eat buffet?“ “Yes“ “And we are staying here for a week“ “Yes“ “...Good bye my summer body“

“You’re a pig“ Maria said as Toni was closing the doors A few minutes later Suenn knocked on the doors “hello again. I have contacted the guides of the other two newcomers and their envoys said they would gladly meet you but they also requested we arrive fifteen minutes early so that you can have a proper meeting“ “Thank you very much Suenn. Tell them we agree“ Maria said Suenn nodded and left “Why do you wanna meet them anyway“ Maria asked John “Well they are new here, we are new here, none of us actually knows what’s going on. It might be easier for all of us if we feel confused together“ “Fair point“ The human delegacy arrived 10 minutes earlier than agreed, mostly because of Johns insistence. “Why were you so adamant on arriving early Mister John “ “Well... I was too anxious for waiting in the hotel“ “And waiting here is... not causing anxiety?“ “No, because here I’m sure I won’t miss anything important“ “I can not say I fully comprehend that logic but if it lessens your anxiety I see no problem with waiting here.“ “Can I ask you something Suenn?“ “Of course?“ “I noticed your First name was the identical to the name of the planet. Is that Just a coincidence or something else?“ “It’s actually Tradition. Tlii name their children after their Birthplace and a name chosen by their parents. I was born on this planet so My Birth Name is Nithra while my Given name is Suenn.“ “Huh. Interesting.“ After a few more minutes of casual discussions the two delegations arrived. The D’Dret Delegacy consisted of twelve members all sporting their environment suits. “Greeting fellow children“ the leader of the delegation said as he reached out his hand

“Children?” Antonio asked quietly“ “The D’Dret word for artist is the same as their word for child“ Suenn replied “Kinda fits right“ John shook the delegates hand “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m JonathanGrace, leader of our delegation. You can call me John “ “I am afraid my name is quite impossible for the translator to handle so feel free to call me Otra, considering that’s the Star system I hail from“ From the other vehicle disembarked a delegation of twenty Beings of Yellow christening appearance. a leader of the group stepped forth and greeted the gathered “In behalf of Veq Hive I speak the words of greeting” the translator read “In be half of Humanity I accept the gritting and send my own“ John said and bowed, Otra mimicking his actions saying “ I do the same on behalf of D’Dret autonomy“ The Veq leader let out a low pitch pleasant click returning the bow “This one is called Ruea“ “My name Is Jonathan Grace“ “Call me Otra, shall we head inside“ “Certainly“ Ruea and John replied While there were no delegates yet there was a descent amount of visitors to the Gallery and the three delegations as well as their guides drew a number of looks. This seemed to make Johnnervous again, but also even more excited than ever. His companions seemed to share this attitude along with the D’Dret delegates. The Veq did not experience emotions, or at lest not in the way Humans did. They didn’t know fear,Happiness or anger, but could be inquisitive,curious and mistrusting or frustrated. Although the latter was extremely rare and fairly mild. “How come Humans only sent 3 creators“ Ruea asked “Well Humanity is aware of its reputation. Lots of people in the assembly consider us borderline insane due to our contradictory nature. SO our Academy decided that the best course of action here would be to send a small delegation and not draw much attention on ourselves.“ “A reasonable approach Otra said“ “Yeah, but us three decided we have something else in plan for our speech“ “You would... defy your superior?“ Rue said in intrigued Disbelief “to a Veq that causes great pain.“ “Well If i am not wrong, you are biochemically connected, so acts of defiance are extremely rare since your communication is almost instant and complete” John said impressing Ruea “In our case that is not so. We are very Individual even though we are social beings, and sometimes people in authority refuse to listen to suggestions because they see themselves above others. In that case we become defiant“ “You are a weird people“ Said Otra with a little pause “but than again I’m the one in the EV suit“ The lengthy conversation about differences in cultures and approaches to art between all the members of the 3 delegations attracted a crowd of intrigued listeners even Suenn and the other guides were intrigued and occasionally asked a question or two.

After A an hour Suenn spoke up “Excuse me delegates, but the Ceremony is about to start. Would you please follow your respective guide to your seat“ “Oh certainly.“ John said “Ladi Ruea, Otra It has been a pleasure. Hopefully we can continue this discussion sometimes soon“

Suenn Lead her delegation to a circular room with many levels. filled to the brim with delegations from thousand of species. Humans were somewhere around the middle,Maria Noticed the Veq being almost at the bottom and one of their delegates apparently noticed her waving and looked curiously at her. she than put her opened palms on her troth imitating a traditional greeting they taught her. John noticed Otras suit about two levels above them sat juxtaposed to them and covered one eye with his hand greeting his new friend with their greeting to which Otra replied with a peace sign. “hello and welcome everyone to the annually art festival of the Galactic Assembly.” said a small alien “He looks like a plushy” Toni whispered and baited another chuckle out of Suenn. ” This year the assembly welcomed three new species The Pedantic Veq hive, The crafty D’Dret autonomy and ... Diverse Alliance of human worlds. As is tradition the newcomers will hold their speeches first. Starting with the Humans.“ John stood up “I think you for this opportunity but before I hold my speech I must ask, on behalf of our new friends of the Authonomy and the Hive. would you allow them to speak before us, as they asked me if I would be willing to swap places with them“ “Well... no one ever turned down the offer of being first to speak before, A kind gesture indeed. I don’t see why not. Verry well. Who of you wants to speak first“ “The Authonomy children will gladly hear out our comrades of the Hive before we speak ourselves“ ”I thank our new friends for granting this request of mine.” Lady Ruea replied as she slowly walked to the podium. Suenn turned to John “What you just did was unprecedented. May I inquire why have you done this“ “As we were about to go our separate ways lady Ruea noticed that her translator was running out of battery and her spare was left in their hotel. considering she didn’t want to miss any of our speeches so she asked if I would let her talk first so she can switch her power cell after her speech. and considering I’m nervous as hell right now I decided to give myself a bit more time to relax and see other speeches before I step down there“ “Coward“ Maria teased him “and proud of it“ he replied

The speech of Ruea was simple it briefly described the way her people think and the way they approach art, or as they call it creation. How they prefer writing in strict form but are also constantly looking for new forms to write. how their statues are trying to be symmetrical in every way and yet innovative. After her Otra came down doing the same talking about how Their culture sees artists as people who never lost their child imagination how every new creation is a new unexplored wonder, just like every next step is a new experience for a toddler. Than came John’s turn. He was still a bit nervous but he kept his cool. “As you know. lady Ruea asked me if I would do her a favour and let her speak first. I let my new friend Otra speak second because I was too nervous to do it myself“ a few chuckles were heard among the crowd “AS you know Humans have a reputation and I was given a ready speech by the people who sent me here to read and stay out of trouble so that I can alleviate that reputation. But than again That’d be to deny human nature.“ Nick said as he ripped a sheet of paper with a written speech “Oh boy here we go“ Toni commented “What is he doing“ Suenn asked “Being true to himself ... and being a jackass“ maria replied “Our leaders only allowed us artists one speech, and a small delegation. I can live with that. But if they want me to speak I will speak however I see fit. And yes I will get in trouble for this if you were wondering“ A few more chuckles and murmurs started among the crowd “I am know that whatever stylistic figures, whatever topic I can think of, someone else in this room will think of as well. The Ka’ran are called the masters of Romance and yet some of their poets wrote works of horror I find exquisite. The Hevar are proud of their odes and marching songs and yet I find their lullabies to be incredibly soothing. So I don’t see a point in pretending that you are going to find something new in our works.“

This statement caused shock, intrigue and utter confusion. Are humans really so self destructive they would sabotage their own nation for an act of defiance? But the whispers and murmurs didn’t bother John

“In our statues, in our poetry, in our novels or paining ... all the motives we use I have seen with one quick stroll trough this gallery. So on this day I claim every story ever told has already been told. we just mixed up the words a bit differently.

A silence fell upon the room

I am looking forward, my fellow delegates, to read how you layed out the words we use.“

*Tink* a sound of two crystals hitting each other was heard from the lower levels *tink* as John walked off the podium and the Veq delegacy tried to imitate human clapping with their christaline limbs. *tink,tink,tink* Soon the D’Dred joined in, followed by the Ka’ran and Hevra that John Mentioned. after a few seconds most of the delegates gave a hearty applause.

“Well...“ the alien small alien from before stepped back on the podium. “... I guess that a lot of rumours about the humans are true. They certainly are unpredictable and reckless... But If more of them are like their delegation I can only imagine how their artwork looks like. I suggest we take a half hour break before we continue“ The rest of the festival passed in a breeze. with the human delegation being followed by numerous new fans wherever they went. after a week and the conclusion of the festival several species decided to take the “scenic rout home“ as Humans said. and stopped on Cyrenca prime, Nueva Galizza, Earth and other human worlds, buying novels, visiting art museums and observing statues... Jonathan Grace was financially penalized for his “insubordination”, but considering he refused to return to earth, proffering to travel the Worlds of the assembly in search of new ideas to write about, that debt was never prayed. _ _

If you managed to get this far congrats, and thanks for reading.

I wrote this because I’ve noticed a lot of stories under these tags ... even the 2 I wrote are always going towards military and conflict situations. SO I turned it around to something I like much more

#humasn are space orcs #humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are space oddities

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tarklesbehindthescenes · 4 years ago

Note

If you've got the time and inclination, I've got another MegaRatch request for you, maybe related to the one from before. Megan does something really dumb on the battlefield and gets hurt and due to some contrivance, Ratchet begrudgingly patches him up.

It is DONE!! It took me sooo long to figure out what direction I wanted to take it, but it is done!

MegaRatch 2: Electric Boogaloo

Word count capped at 2,172

Ratchet squinted up at the grey warlord belting out hearty, maniacal laughter. The smug spawn of a glitch was at it again. Another absurd plan was being put in motion that would allow the Decepticons to gather energy at the expense of the planet and its inhabitants’ safety. And as always, he was gloating about it while the Autobots fought against his forces to put a stop to it. As the fight progressed, it was becoming increasingly apparent that it was only a matter of time before Optimus Prime got to him and wrecked his creation.

Megatron began fiddling with the controls which caused a violent crackling of electricity to erupt from it, frightening his in-commands and making the rest of his army pause to look over, the Autobots they were fighting doing like-wise.

“Actions: inadvisable! Requesting Megatron desist!” Soundwave called out to him desperately.

“Do you wish to blow us all to kingdom come?!” Starscream shrieked, scrambling back with panic. “It’s too soon, you’ll—”

“I do not need it to finish in order to gain the power necessary to defeat the Autobots!” Megatron roared over the crackling electricity as he placed his hands on a couple orbs. Electrical currents began flowing from the machine into Megatron. “I will not let this victory escape us!”

“I’m not staying! Decepticons, flee!” Starscream took off in a hurry, the seekers following his example and taking to the air hot on his thrusters. Soundwave turned to the remaining forces as they looked like they were seriously considering doing the same.

“Wait! Hold positions!” he commanded. His words fell on faulty audio receptors, however. Astrotrain and Reflector booked it and that was the end of that. The other Decepticons bailed, leaving Megatron and Soundwave alone with the Autobots.

“Cowards!” Megatron bellowed after them, removing his hands from the machine, energy crackling around them. “You will all suffer the consequences of deserting the battlefield!”

“Prime, I think that’s our cue to go!” Wheeljack called.

Optimus Prime took a small step backward but kept his gaze locked on the warmonger. “Everyone, get back! We don’t know what he can do!”

Megatron raised his arms above his head, focusing the electrical energy in his hands and narrowing his optics as the Autobots began to pull back. “It’s too late to run, Prime! Your doom is nigh at hand!”

Ratchet eyed the electricity coursing through Megatron’s hands. That was big talk coming from someone wielding such unstable energy. If he could just distract him for long enough... “Megatron!” the medic barked out.

The warmonger’s optics snapped to him then a smirk curled up on his lips. “Ratchet,” he mused. “It would be such a shame to lay waste to such medical skills like yours. I will give you a choice. Join me or perish with your team!”

“Do you realize just how absurd this plan is?” Ratchet evaded. Megatron took the bait and went into a mini-monologue. “What is absurd about it? With you Autobots offline, there will be nothing standing in the way of total domination of this planet so I can bleed it dry!” He ended with a laugh. Behind him, Soundwave noticed the energy growing more and more unstable in his commander’s hands and began backing up. Once Megatron was done having a laugh, he narrowed his optics at the medic. “Now choose!”

“Ratchet—” Optimus started, stopping himself when Ratchet motioned for him to back off and reluctantly doing as directed.

“Give me a moment to think!” he snapped at the warlord.

“Now!” Megatron demanded, the crackling of energy nearly drowning him out.

“Fine, fine!” Ratchet threw a quick glance at Soundwave. The communications officer was reluctantly running for cover. “I choose…” The medibot swiftly turned on his heel and booked it with the rest of his team.

Behind them, the warmonger snarled. “You have chosen most unwisely! Taste the consequences of your—”

The rest of the threat was cut off as there was the loud sound of electricity discharging and screams of pain followed shortly after. It was so darn bright in the area for a few minutes that it was nigh impossible to see clearly until the light settled down to normal levels. The group of Autobots mumbled to each other and looked around.

“Is everyone all right?” Prime checked, giving each mech a glance over. “Ratchet?”

The medibot waved a dismissive hand. “I’m okay.”

“That was some quick thinking back there,” the leader praised.

Ironhide fixed the ambulance with a confuddled expression. “Just why was that bucket o’ bolts tellin’ ya to join ‘im?”

To which, Ratchet responded with an exasperated huff. “Because he’s a fan of my work? Drop it.”

Sunstreaker looked to where they had come from. Megatron could be seen on the ground, a small cloud of smoke rising from him. “He charred himself but good, it seems.” The Lambo twin screwed up his face with mild disgust. “Phew, you can smell it!”

“I think it’s safe to say he won’t be getting up for a while or finishing that scheme of his,” Optimus agreed, gesturing to the machine behind the downed Decepticon commander. “That electrical outburst fried his creation. Autobots, let’s roll for home.”

The Autobots took the command and promptly transformed to begin following Prime back home. Ratchet transformed, but paused as he caught sight of Soundwave checking up on Megatron through his rearview mirrors.

“Hey, doc. You coming?” Trailbreaker said, cutting through his thoughts.

“I just remembered I’ve got some business to take care of,” Ratchet replied. “You go on ahead. I’ll be back when I’m done.”

If Trailbreaker could shrug in vehicle mode, Ratchet was sure he would have during the pause before the dark-colored car left. Once he was out of sight, the medibot returned to robot mode and approached Soundwave and the unconscious Megatron. It was almost a struggle to move forward. A big part of him screamed to just leave with the others and let Megatron and the other Decepticons deal with the consequences themselves. But the part of him that made him take up his profession as a medibot scolded that part of him and was forcing him forward.

Soundwave took notice of him and pointed his blaster at him when Ratchet drew close.

Ratchet fixed him with a stern look. “Put that peashooter away! I’m a medic, not a warrior.” Without waiting for Soundwave’s next move, he knelt down beside Megatron and looked him over. The smoke was coming from Megatron’s mouth and seeping out of cracks in his plating. Ratchet shook his head. “He should’ve listened to you.”

The third-in-command hesitated before putting his weapon away. “Vitals indicate he is still online,” he reported.

“No doubt a good chunk of his hardware is fried, though,” Ratchet grunted. His examination of the Decepticon commander led him to find that Megatron’s state, while not ideal, was stable enough that he didn’t need a patch. “Can you carry him?”

“Affirmative.”

“Good. He needs to be brought back to your ship so we can actually tend to him.” The sound of flight frames approaching made them pause and look up. Blitzwing and Astrotrain had returned and touched down just beside them. “And look. Here’s our ride.”

The two triple changers frowned, Blitzwing with confusion and Astrotrain with disdain.

“Your ride, Autobot? We only came to check up on Megatron and see the results.” Astrotrain eyed Megatron with judgement. “Looks to me like he’s ultimately failed.”

Soundwave picked up the commander and glowered at the shuttle train behind his visor. “Transform. NOW,” he commanded.

Astrotrain looked to Blitzwing.

His friend cocked an optic ridge at him. “What are you looking at me for? Soundwave’s our superior. And you don’t want to mess with Ratchet, trust me.” Blitzwing reminded, making the shuttle train sigh heavily before doing as told and transforming into shuttle mode.

Soundwave entered him with Ratchet close behind and settled down, then they were off. The ride was short thanks to Astrotrain’s size and speed. When they arrived in the hangar, they found the seekers gathered with a few of the other Decepticons, recounting the events that went down. Starscream was, of course, blowing things out of proportion.

“—drove him to such rash actions! He turned himself into a living bomb just to get the advantage over the Autobots! I tried to warn him against it, but he was so livid, he just could not be reasoned with!”

…Actually, that was fairly accurate.

“Kind of you to come back to base instead of check up on him,” Ratchet called out, making the second-in-command and those gathered around turn to him and Soundwave.

Starscream didn’t have the decency to look remotely abashed. “Somebody had to relay the events. Besides, Soundwave—” The seeker paused and squinted. “Now wait just one moment here! What the frag are you doing in our base?!”

“Ratchet will be lending his aid toward Megatron’s recovery.” Soundwave gave Starscream a challenging look, daring him to intervene.

The air commander didn’t, but he certainly didn’t approve. He shot Megatron a loathing and disappointed look. “You mean to tell me he’s still alive?”

“Don’t sound so thrilled, Starscream,” Ratchet commented. “We’ll get the wrong idea about you.”

Starscream scoffed and shrugged. “Naturally, I am enthused about this turn of events. How lucky we are to be bequeathed with such a miracle.”

Several bots in the room rolled their optics, including Ratchet. “Alright, alright,” the medibot grunted, “that’s enough back and forth. Someone tell Hook to get his aft to the medbay if he isn’t there already. This is going to be a repair all three of us will be needed for, Soundwave.”

“Understood.”

[Perspective Change]

Megatron’s vision was dark for a moment, save for the flashing word ‘rebooting’. He felt stiff and a little cold. What had happened to land him like this? He had the Autobots on the run, and then… the energy in his hands exploded. His team of Decepticons had left him. Was he still on the ground where the battle had taken place? …No, this didn’t feel like it.

His systems finished rebooting, now granting him sight and audio. The medbay ceiling greeted his optics and the sound of bots working and talking out of sight came to his audio receptors.

“—impressive, honestly. The amount of burns on his motherboard and these hydraulics. Yet the electrical damage jumped over the main power nodes on the board, which is what kept him stable.”

Megatron squinted. That voice… “Ratchet?” he murmured.

There was the sound of movement and then there he was, looking down on him. “Look who’s finally up. You know, you really should listen to your in-commands next time,” the medibot chided. “They’re usually there to keep you from doing stupid things.”

Megatron disregarded the chastisement. “What are you… You’re… here…” he mumbled with utmost confusion.

Ratchet folded his arms. “Against my better judgement.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m a medic and…” He hesitated. “I decide who my patients are. Leaving you the way you were just felt… wrong. I don’t understand it fully, myself, so just take it and be grateful I even took the time out of my day to work on your sorry aft.”

The Decepticon commander struggled for a moment to process this. The Autobot chief medic actually helped him of his own volition? Was he expecting anything? He must’ve been. “I am not going to stop attacking your friends,” he stated gruffly.

To which Ratchet rolled his optics at him. “Did I say anything about them?”

“No, but surely you’re not doing this favor for free.”

“And why shouldn’t I be?”

“It makes no sense!” Megatron sat up to better lock optics with him. “Nobody does something unless commanded or bribed!”

Ratchet shook his head. “You’ve got a skewed perspective of reality. All I want is to be dropped back off on the surface so I can go back to the Ark. You seem to be perfectly fine now and don’t need me.”

“Wait just one moment,” Megatron said, looking over to where Ratchet came from, to where Soundwave and Hook stood patiently. “Leave us.” Hook left without a second thought, while Soundwave hesitated before slowly taking his leave. Once the medbay was clear of everyone but himself and Ratchet, the commander spoke up again. “Stay a while longer,” he bade with an unusually quiet tone. This medibot was a puzzle. An enigma. Megatron wasn’t about to just let this go without getting as much facts as he could.

The Autobot fixed him with a squint. “What for?”

“Just to talk.”

“…That’s it?”

“That’s all. I have questions that need addressing,” the warlord clarified.

There was a pause, and then the medic sighed and dropped his arms to his sides. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt. Just long enough to be certain you’re on the road to recovery.”

This time Megatron would settle his curiosity about the Autobot ambulance once and for all. This time for sure the intrigue would be satisfied.

#Yikes that took longer than I meant it too #But it's here!#I hope this fills what you were looking for!#Transformers #MegaRatch #Megatron #Ratchet #G1 #maccadam #requests #Asks

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whatiwillsay · 4 years ago

Text

off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too! i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me. i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo!

Part I - At least one fake rs!

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay. Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything! We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another. cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them? Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March? Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship? Perhaps! Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach. The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there! Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating? Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay. Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists. Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues. I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes! It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019. They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos. I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married. All jokes aside this is fruity behavior.

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn! It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe. Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia? (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened. And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs. Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women. Is she gay? I don’t know! But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think? Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni. Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

#selena gomez #gaylena #taylena #gossip #cara delevingne #julia michaels #lesbian #sapphic #of interest #taylor's fruity friends

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onewomancitadel · 3 years ago

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Re: ship opinions

Hmm... I almost accidentally gave one of the worst ships in existence. But I'll say...

1. Lancaster - Jaune/Ruby,

and

2. A ship of your choice that you have strong opinions about, if you'd like to share

1. Jaune/Ruby

If this ask turns up in the tags for people who like this ship, I'm really sorry. Tumblr fucks up and sometimes put words in the post inside the tag, even if otherwise not tagged that. You probably don't know this, Lar, but that's also why I do weird stuff like put a slash through R/WBY to avoid the main tag.

If you like Jaune/Ruby stop reading here.

I don't like this ship at all. I really enjoy Jaune and Ruby's friendship and what that does for the story, and also the fact that Jaune is just a bit too edgy for Ruby (e.g. Ruby does not kill Penny at her behest; Jaune does). I don't mean to be a 'friendship is superior to romance!!!' type.

I actually think romance is generally a superior type of story I'd read anyday, anytime, if I were being reactive and mean, which this ship ask game calls for. I don't get the people who say like, the line between romance and friendship is mostly meaningless... it's really not, they are different things and things can be different things because sometimes things are different. It doesn't mean in your real life you have to be in a relationship, not everything is a prescriptive statement, but in terms of what I enjoy in fiction, if it's something like R/WBY, I care more about the High Drama capital R Romance. (I actually like a lot of pulpy sci-fi without much romance, I read a lot without it, but in terms of what I obsessively post about it's romance).

I read a lot of other stuff, but nothing is like a well-written romance.

That aside, what I'm trying to gesture at is that the Ruby and Jaune friendship is interesting because they're both in positions of responsibility - I mean isn't that even a V1 thing, where Ruby is like 'stop feeling bad, it doesn't matter if you feel bad, you have to put that aside for the team' - like good grief Ruby, that is going to backfire eventually. Anyway, I like that there are parts about Ruby Jaune doesn't understand and vice versa, those secret parts are interesting to me, because it's exactly what makes their respective romances I think will be canon interesting. To whom you show yourself in that way is interesting. It's not possible between Jaune and Ruby, not without moving mountains in the show, and probably even harder now with the schism Penny's death may cause.

I also think it's just... a fluffy friends to lovers ship, which, like, you can find hundreds and thousands of blogs on Tumblr dedicated to that kind of stuff, I'm one person disinterested in that.

To speak from the type of storytelling I enjoy: being that Jaune is Oscar's Shadow, and Cinder is Ruby's Shadow, it does mean there is a real sense of connection between the characters for a reason. In a way, Jaune knowing Cinder's capacity for good (Ruby, the White Shadow) is one of many structural indicators he's involved in Cindemption. It's not motivation itself, but it lines up particularly well. It also explains why Jaune is too edgy for Oscar - he's literally too edgy in Jungian storytelling, but he is a way for Ruby to better understand Oscar.

2. A ship of your choice that you have strong opinions about, if you'd like to share

Well, probably quite broadly I don't get along with most of R/WBY shipping culture, and I think that we have fundamentally different approaches to how and why romance is interesting. There are definitely people who multiship or polyship for reasons similar to me, so I'm not trying to say 'multishipping bad'.

Admittedly from my end my tastes have evolved - or at least I've figured out what my tastes are - to really only being interested in canon romance, or ships with profound canon reasoning.

I'm not interested in twisting canon to make a pet ship fit the canon, though. I do really enjoy thinking about what motivates creators and what seems genuinely likely, but there are ships in other fandoms where I'm like, yeah you're having a great time but you're setting yourself up for pain expecting that to be canon, and acting like it will definitely be canon is, again, setting yourself up for pain.

In some ways it's not just being led on by a story, though, but fundamentally refusing to read a story the way it's 'meant' to be read and trying to make it something else. I'm speaking really generally and broadly here because even for a ship game I don't want to cause a stir, but that is exactly the sort of viewer I'd never wish to be. It's why even if I think that I understand R/WBY narrative style and there are serious reason Knightfall has a possibility of being canon, I reserve some doubt for the aforementioned points. I'm my first doubter, because seriously, these are real people telling a real story, and they have to have some motivation in their own storytelling to do a particular thing. Part of what Knightfall hinges on is the importance of Cinder and Jaune inside the story, and what I think they're trying to do with the romances thematically. If it turns out that Jaune killing Penny was meant to ostracise him as a character and remove him from the story, it all falls apart. I don't think that's what they're doing, and it's apparent in the narrative that's not what they're doing, but these things can be arcane and mysterious.

Most of all, the reason certain canon romances interests me is because I'm invested in the canon too. The reason I'm really into Knightfall is because I generally am a fan of R/WBY canon and cast - I actually like most of the characters, and I enjoy writing them, which is a lot of fun for me because I don't dread that part when I want to focus on the romance instead - so that influences my shipping style. Again, I generally have an issue with people moving from medium to medium, like a swam of locusts, projecting the kinds of things that interest them that do not mesh with what the thing actually is.

I could be more specific, but I wouldn't want to cause TOO much of a stir, but I'd say that this probably applies to R/WBY fandom in some ways as I've mentioned a few times before. But all of this influences Knightfall. I also realise my tastes are somewhat individual; it really is freeing in a lot of ways to be in such a small fandom with so much less scrutiny.

With that being said, I think any Jaune or Cinder ship other than Jaune/Cinder is sucks and is bad and I actively avoid all mention of it as much as possible, and I'm actually extremely polite about those ships on my blog compared to how much I don't like them. I fully admit that part of that hatred comes from the fact I cannot multiship and if my OTP are not married forever and someone is playing with the dollies wrong, I actually get irrationally upset, but I also just textually do not want and do not like them.

For that matter, Ruby and Weiss are characters I really like, and I liked Pyrrha fine enough, and I'm actually quite attached to them. You'd think I'd be okay with them with Jaune, but there are gender reasons I don't like Jaune/Weiss (nice guy patiently waiting for girl to notice him - gross, and also I think Weiss is actively interested in moving away from being a princess, so the knight/princess stuff doesn't work, that's why I like Knightfall knight/Maiden), Jaune/Pyrrha (fridged girlfriend? You met your true love and lost her early in the show and now we don't know what to do with you? That's very narratively boring, admittedly), Jaune/Ruby (see above), who else... those are the big three, anyway.

Anyway... other people might be playing with the dollies wrong, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop them doing it, it just means I'm going to write a post and then delete it before I post it, and like, whine on my stupid sideblog. I'm sure there are tons of people who think I'm stupid shipping Jaune/Cinder too, so I try to remain humble.

#seraphina's asks #user: lareanzo #stirring the pot

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videcoeur · 3 years ago

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"I want you to kiss me." The request had seemed to have spawned out of nowhere one evening aboard his ship. It was not as spontaneous as one would think, however. Her mind had not stopped drifting back to that moment in the hotel room and she found herself wanting to experience it again more and more. Realizing her blunder of being too forward, she grew a bit red and added, “...Only if you want to." (Akane to Croc, used two of the lines cause I can >:3c)

Crocodile could not be less tempted to have this discussion right now. And equally, he could not be more tempted to kiss her. Alcohol had been his only comfort those past few days since their last talks, and he knew they were getting closer to land. Their time was counted, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He dug his grave and he had to lie in it.

And yet... and yet. He looked at her as a man would the woman he loved, traits tired and soft. His frown dissipated as she demanded he kissed her. He knew he couldn't do it. SHOULDN'T do it. It would be a grave mistake to give her one last shred of hope, to toy with her feelings. How strange it was to feel for someone else more than for himself. That kiss could redeem him, make him feel whole again. And yet, he was only thinking about her. She deserved better. She was an (almost) upstanding person according to his standards, and he was but a selfish, self-serving bastard. He did things that only brought him further to his goals- which is why he couldn't be with her. She was a threat to his ambition. After following someone like Whitebeard, how could she possibly think of him as a King? And for once in his life, the opinion of someone else MATTERED more than his own.

He could do it. He could achieve his dreams. Or he could be with the woman he loved and get distracted. He wasn't only afraid she would leave him once he'd chosen her over his dreams, he was afraid he would forget himself in favor of making his dream HER. He didn't want to stop chasing his ambition because of a woman, even if she meant the world to him. Not again.

And all of that could happen because of a single kiss and he knew it. Felt it in his bones, and in the ghost of his hand. It burned the scar over his face and the many littered across his body.

Crocodile stood from the couch and closed the distance with her. Instinctively, drawn by a superior force. He wanted to be near her. His entire body was screaming that it NEEDED her close. To feel her skin, to lean down and take a whiff of her hair. Though he called her stinky, and sometimes she did smell, he always loved her scent.

It was strong, yet feminine, and it attracted him like bees to pollen. And those lips...God he wanted to taste them again. He could almost remember their softness.

He kept walking toward her, not saying a thing though his eyes showed a plethora of emotions. Ranging from anger to sadness, passing by love and defeat. It's only once Akane had her back against the wall that he stopped advancing, and even then, their bodies were mere inches apart. He leaned down, still much taller than her, and locked his gaze within hers. Crocodile took one last drag on his cigar before placing it between the fingers of the hand that went over her head.

He refused to touch her with it. If his skin made contact with hers, he was done for. With the alcohol rushing through his veins and muddying his thoughts, it was already hard enough to exert self-control. It wasn't his style to not give in to his wants, but he HAD TO. For her. Even if that meant breaking them apart forever.

Crocodile's lips burned with the desire to capture hers, and while his hook tilted her chin up, he couldn't help how his gaze moved down to her lips. Rosy, flush, slightly moist, eager for his lips to crash against them like waves against the shore. He knew exactly how he would feel the moment they touched- and that's why only the cold metal of his hook pressed under her chin.

Crocodile swallowed thickly, his thoughts muddied even further. He should have turned back. He knew that he should have. But he was only one man, and he could only be so rational with several scotches behind the tie and his overwhelming desire for her. Before he knew it, he was tasting her lips, his tongue softly passing on the edge of her teeth, prying its way inside her mouth. His hook rested on her shoulder, the curve of it wrapping around it and poking from under her arm. It mustn't have been the most comfortable position, but he refused to leave it at her neck, where he could risk prickling her beautiful skin.

He kissed her deeply, needily, desperately, and poured all of his feelings into it. Crocodile loved Akane far more than he cared to admit to himself, far more than the world was ready for. He would go to war for her, risk his life, throw away his ambitions, do everything just to make sure SHE was happy.

Even Maura didn't have that courtesy. By the time they broke up, he was already waving her goodbye.

Not Akane.

It would have been fine if he'd stopped there, but he couldn't. The cigar fell to the ground, ashes turning a spot on her other shoulder black. Crocodile crushed the cigar with his foot and pressed himself against her. His hand grabbed a hold of her wrist and pinned it above her head. He pushed toward her greedily, kissing her until the back of her head was flushed against the wall.

He nibbled at her lips, and could only hear the sound of his own heart hammering against his eardrums. His blood was rushing so fast to his head that it made him dizzy. Crocodile didn't even allow himself, or her by the same extension, to breathe. He deepened the kiss as much as he could and only broke it once he was completely out of breath.

And he stared at her, feeling those sparks right down to his spine as his heart did its own little dance behind his ribcage, rattling his old bones to the core.

And then, all the softness in his gaze disappeared as he realized it was the last time.

Slowly, he let go of her hand, pulled his hook back to himself, and straightened up. He honestly looked like a mess, and his gaze was clouded over, the signs of a tempest soon to come.

"Get out."

His voice was barely above a whisper but left no doubt that it was a command, not a demand.

"I said GET OUT"

He wished he hadn't been this dry and violent. The last thing he wanted was for her to see him like this. To see how much this affected him because he knew if he'd explain, she wouldn't get it. Not that she was dumb, but she would tell him that she'd never take his dream away from him. What she didn't realize was that she didn't need to do a thing, he would end up doing it all on his own to make her happy.

Like the animal he shared a name with, Crocodile's traits took a lizard-like appearance in his anger. He recoiled physically and narrowed his gaze, but not on her. It was like he was staring at a point way past her because he couldn't withstand looking at her at the moment.

"Please, get out," His voice cracked and he showed his back. Crocodile's hand dropped to his desk as he used it to stay upright. He needed her out.

#( t; crocodile. )#( oprp. )#:)#what do we say when shit hit the fan like that #That Shit Hurted™#( crockane. )

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