#Although back when I was at uni it was a struggle to not growl at people walking by when I went to eat alone in the bioscience building

[godanimal]

Anyone else have food aggression-like behaviors. Absolutely hate when anyone is near me when I'm eating lol.

[iliketangerines]

Would you be able to write something with mk11 Liu Kang and female reader? Where reader was almost killed in a fight but Liu Kang manages to save them in time? And as he's treating her wounds he confesses his feelings for her and they have sweet and emotional sex?

Thank you in advance! It's amazing how many requests you post a day on top of uni. Keep up the good work! I get so excited when I see that you posted something new :)

a new love

a/n: i need them BOTH NEOWWW

pairing: liu kang x afab!reader x kitana

warnings: nsfw (MDNI), face sitting, chest play, grinding

you can hear cheering all about you, muffled behind the ringing in your ears as you clutch at your side, blood seeping into your armor and leaking onto the ground

the pain burns you, spreading through your body slowly like a poison, and you can feel your heartbeat pounding against your chest much too quickly to be normal

the world is hot and sweaty, too much and too little at the same time as the ringing in your ears fades in and out with the sound of ragged breaths

a hand places itself on your shoulder, and you flinch at the contact and draw your weapon as you blink at the person, trying to find the energy to continue fighting

you hear the familiar voice of Kitana, warbly and dull, and the silhouette of Liu Kang joins the fuzzy figure of Kitana’s as you fall down to the ground on one knee

looking down at the blood pouring from your side, you try and put your hand over the wound to stop the bleeding

and yet, your own hand is too heavy to lift as your eyes begin to close, and you can feel someone touching you, lifting you, cradling your head

it feels so familiar and safe, warm and comforting to be in the hands of whoever is holding you, and you let your weapon fall to the floor as your eyes close and let darkness take your consciousness

when you wake up, it’s the high rise ceilings of medical ward in the Outworld palace, and you groan as your head pounds with pain

you attempt to sit up and hiss through your teeth at the pain that shoots through you as you do so, and you struggle to breathe for a second as you sit up and pull your shirt up to assess the damage

a sizable bandage covers yours torso, and you probably just broke something considering the blood that had started to seep through the bandages

there’s a creak as the doors to the medical wing open, and you spot Kitana and Liu Kang conversing with each other and holding some food

although Liu Kang looks rather strange with glowing white hair and eyes and tattoos, but you could recognize his face anywhere

both of them stop as they realize you’re sitting up, and then in an instant, they’re both next to you, pushing you down and checking on your bandages

Kitana scolds you, telling you to be more careful, and Liu Kang frowns and asks if you feel okay, if anything felt out of place, if the bed was comfortable enough

you wave the both of them, saying that you were fine, that you’re a warrior and you would survive a simple stab wound

Kitana growls at that, saying that it wasn’t just a simple stab wound and that it was no laughing matter

Liu Kang crosses his arms and nods his head as Kitana goes on and on about how you should be more careful with your wounds and your defensive positions

eventually, she runs out of breath and criticisms and pinches the bridge of her nose and looks at you, saying in a soft voice that she was very worried about you

the champion chimes in, saying that the both of them had been very worried about your state of health and that you had been out for almost two weeks

he continues, saying that your wound wasn’t even healing properly for at least a week, festering with diseases and what not, and that it had only started to heal properly only a few days ago

you look between the two of them, and you mumble out that you’ll be more careful next time Shao Kahn comes around

Liu Kang glances at Kitana before looking back to you saying that Shao Kahn was no more, Kitana was Kahn now

your head whips to her, and she smiles and nods at you as your mouth drops open into a smile and you laugh and squeeze her hand

she laughs with you and can’t help it as she dips her head in close and plants a kiss on your lips, and you lean into it, melting into the touch

her hand comes up to cup the back of your head to bring you in a little closer, and you sigh into the kiss and bring your own hand up to cup her face

she’s warm and soft, familiar and comforting, and you want to pull her into your arms to get even closer, to press yourself against her and feel her completely

but then she pulls back, eyes filled with wonder as she looks at you, and she whispers quietly that she’s missed you

Liu Kang pouts at you and asks where’s his kiss, and you laugh and say that he can get one any time he wants to

immediately, he leans down and presses a kiss to your lips as well, eyelashes tickling your cheek as his eyes flutter close at the feeling of you against him

he pulls away after a few moments, and he mutters that although he and Kitana would love to hold you closer, you needed to heal for a few more weeks

you frown at the two of them, opening your mouth to protest, but the both of them shoot you a glare and you settle back down in the cot without a single word

Kitana then adds on that Liu Kang was a god now, and you nearly shoot out of bed at the comment

the next few weeks are torturous as you heal, the two of them barely touch you, treating you as if you were glass, and you were frankly had gotten over the doting after the first few days

you were an Edenian warrior, powerful and great and experienced with fighting and war, you could handle yourself just fine

the nurse looks up at you and clears you for fighting again, and they leave the room as Liu Kang and Kitana help you up from the bed

smacking their hands away, you grab your belongings and storm out of the room back to your bedroom, frustrated that they were treating you like a child

you throw your items back into their places angrily and dress yourself in your training outfit, determined to blow off some steam and prove that you weren’t helpless

as you pull on the last part of your training robes, Kitana and Liu Kang walk into the room and glance at each other and then at your furrowed brows and how your fists clench angrily

Liu Kang asks what’s wrong, and you hiss at him and tell the both of them to leave you alone and that you’re going to train

Kitana grabs onto your arm and pulls you back, asking why the hell you’re acting like a brat, and you scowl right back at her and say that you’re a fully grown adult warrior, you do not need to be doted on like a child

the champion sighs and asks what they’ve done wrong, they want to fix whatever mistake that they’ve made, and you turn to them with an expression of disbelief

you step closer to them, pointing an accusatory finger in their direction, and you list every single thing that they’ve done to baby you, barely touching you, treating you like a fragile little thing, like you can’t protect yourself

you’re frustrated, you just wanted to be with them and be close to them and have them close to you, and yet they kept on avoiding every time you reached out for them, only ever touching you to change your bandages

it had left pent-up energy in your body, sexual frustration and anger at the both of them, and you were tired of them acting like you couldn’t handle yourself

breathing heavily, you sigh and unclench your fists and press the back of your hand into your forehead, and you take a second to just stare up at the ceiling and gather your thoughts

you look back at them, and Liu Kang looks sad, lips turned downward in a frown and brows furrowed

Kitana, on the other hand, looks hard and all edges, none of the softness of Liu Kang, lips pursed and eyes glinting in the light like a predator’s

she steps toward you, Liu Kang following behind her, and she tilts your chin up with her finger, asking if you were done

Liu Kang comes up behind you and rests his chin on your shoulder, arms coming up to circle around your waist and kiss apologies into your neck

she says that her and Liu Kang had been careful with you because you had been on the brink of death, you had died

you blink at her and let out a small what in disbelief, and Kitana sighs and puts her hands on her hips, looking down and grimacing before finally looking back up at you

your heartbeat had stopped for a minute, you had technically died in front of Liu Kang and Kitana as they carried you to the medical wing, there was blood splattered all over the ground, a trail that had taken a whole day to clean up because of how much there was

they thought that you didn’t survive in the fight that they had caused, and for weeks they had thought you were never going to wake up

neither of them want to risk accidentally hurting you again because they’re scared of hurting you, and Kitana looks away as she finishes, huffing as she holds back tears

none of you speak for a moment as you take in the seriousness of what had happened to you, and you bring your hands to hold Liu Kang’s shaking ones

you can feel his tears on your shoulder, and you look at Kitana, mumbling that you didn’t know

she takes in a shaky breath, saying that you were right though, you are a very capable fighter, one of the best in Sun Do and that she and Liu Kang shouldn’t have diminished your ability to fight because of their own fears

stepping closer to you, she raises one of her hands up to cradle your face and asks you to let them make it up to you, and you breathe out an okay

Kitana nearly throws herself into you as she smashes her lips into yours, one hand continuing to cradle your face and the other on your shoulder, nails digging into the soft skin

Liu Kang behind you resumes his kisses to your skin, hands moving so that they rested on your waist, and he squeezes it, sighing into your skin that he missed you, that he loved you

you can barely hear him over the sound of your own noises as Kitana kisses you breathless, only pulling away to give herself air

she pulls your forehead to rest on hers, panting and letting your breaths mingle as Liu Kang whines for attention as well

you turn your head to the side, and he meets you with his lips, pulling you into a soft kiss and moaning into your mouth

Kitana’s hands slides along your body, squeezing at your chest and making your knees buckle as she slides her hands up and under your shirt to pinch at your nipples

Liu Kang hums and pulls away, staring at you with those soft eyes, and he whispers that they should move to the bed

you nod in agreement, head already spinning from being surrounded on both sides, and Liu Kang picks you up, hooking one of his thick arms underneath the bend of your knees and the other underneath your back

holding onto him for balance, he deposits you on the bed so that you’re flat on your back before going back to kissing you, his weight pressing into you

your hand reaches out blindly, and you can feel the familiar weight of Kitana’s hand in yours and squeeze it as Liu Kang desperately kisses you

it’s messy and wet, teeth clacking against each other and breathless pants before moving in for more, but neither of you can find yourselves caring at the lack of air

he rips at your clothes, the fabric burning in his hands as he stares at your chest and moves to dip his head low and press his tongue to your nipple

his hand ghosts over the scar on your side, and you shiver, making him whine into your skin and look up at you in worry

you whisper that it’s okay, just feels sensitive, and he nods, holding onto your side gently as he starts to suck hickeys into your chest

Kitana tilts your head to look at her, and you squirm underneath Liu Kang’s weight, wanting to please her as well

she laughs at your impatience and tells you to be still, giving your hand a squeeze before letting go of it and pulling back

the complaint dies in your throat as you watch her undress, revealing her lean body to you, muscle hidden in its thinness, and she crawls up onto the bed and asks if you wanna please her

you nod at her, whimpering out a please, and she laughs and says that she thought so before coming over and straddling your face while facing Liu Kang

she slowly lowers herself onto your face, and you bring your arms up to hook around your thighs to bring her even closer

your tongue comes out to fuck into her pussy, and you moan at her taste, having missed her, the weight, the taste, the pleasure

Liu Kang wraps his lips around your nipple, swirling his tongue around it before lightly nipping at the sensitive bud with his teeth, and it makes you jolt and lose concentration for just a moment

Kitana hums as your tongue stops moving briefly, and she lets you regain your concentration, riding your face as Liu Kang teases your chest

you can barely concentrate with Liu Kang biting and kissing at your chest, moving to the other nipple and giving it attention while Kitana rides your face

the lack of air only makes everything more intense

it’s like you’re breathing in pleasure as you feel Kitana grind her hips further into you, and you happily let her use you for her own pleasure as you use your tongue to fuck her

the feeling settles into your lungs, spreading down your veins slowly into your stomach, pooling and building, and your thighs squeeze uselessly around Liu Kang’s waist to try and get some friction on your needy clit

he moans into your skin as you squeeze his waist with your legs, and he bites into the skin of your chest harshly as Kitana moans loudly, cumming on your face

it’s all you need to cum in your own pants, lapping at Kitana’s taste and squeeze her thighs with your arms, and you try to ride out your high on Liu Kang

however, he doesn’t seem to notice your own desperation, too lost in his own task on littering your skin with his marks, and your orgasm sputters out, making you whine and sob and twitch underneath his grasp

Kitana lifts herself up off your face, and you whine again at the loss of her warmth

she comes around to smile at you, telling you did so well for her before going to Liu Kang and grabbing his hair to pull his head up

he whines at the feeling, looking to Kitana, and she says that they were making it up to you, not to pleasure just themselves, so why did he ignore you to chase his own selfish needs

the words take a second to settle into his brain, and he looks to you with a downcast look and mumbles out an apology

Kitana tells him to get on the bed, on his back, and he follows the order quickly

she helps you get up onto your shaky legs and tells you to remove his pants, and you do so with clumsy fingers, letting his cock spring free and slap against his stomach

slowly, Kitana straddles his waist and orders you to grind against his cock, and you do so, biting your lip at the feeling of the head of his cock pressing into your clit

your slick covers his cock as you start to grind against him involuntarily, and she coos at you, telling you that you’re doing amazing and to take what you need

you grab onto her shoulders for balance as you whine and chase your own pleasure, and Kitana chuckles, grinding against Liu Kang’s abs

she groans at the feeling, slapping away Liu Kang’s hands and telling him that he’s not allowed to touch her and you and that he’s not to cum until she tells him to

he whines but obliges, panting and gripping onto the sheets as you grind against his cock, the tip bumping against your clit and making you keen

you grind your hips down further, too lost in your own pleasure, and Kitana grabs the back of your neck and pulls you in for a kiss

moaning into her mouth, you cum on Liu Kang’s cock quickly, still sensitive from the precious one, letting your cum cover his cock and drip down onto the sheets and his waist

it only makes it easier to grind against him as you ride out your high, and Liu Kang keens underneath you to, begging Kitana to cum

she ignores him, continuing to ride his abs as she kisses you, and she whispers praises to you as you slow down and pant for air

Kitana bites her lip as she cums again on Liu Kang’s abs, sighing at the feeling and grinding her hips faster against him

he begs again, please, and she lets her orgasm die down first, getting up off of him and helping you off of him and to lie next to him

she grins at the champion, telling him to stretch you out for his cock, show you how sorry he is for neglecting you earlier, and he eagerly shuffles until your thighs are resting on his shoulders and his tongue assaults your sensitive clit

as his fingers thrust into you and you whine, Kitana leaves the bed and rummages around in the drawer before pulling out her strap

you eye her as she attaches it to herself, and she crawls back up to you, saying that they were going to make it up to you tonight

none of you are seen for the rest of the day

[foundtherightwords]

The Quiet Chaos - Chapter 4

Pairing: Billy Knight (Lethal White/Strike) x OFC

Summary: After a bad breakup throws her carefully-planned life into disarray, Esme has sworn off dating forever. However, when she forms an unexpected connection with a young man named Billy, who's dealing with his own struggles, Esme is forced to face the truth: sometimes you can't plan for love.  

Warnings: mental health issues, angst, slow-burn, developing relationship, dysfunctional family, some violence (non-graphic), some smut (non-explicit)

Chapter warning: discussions of mental illness (so sorry if I got anything wrong)

Chapter word count: 4.9k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3

Chapter 4 - First Date(s)

It's strange, how putting a label on a relationship can change its nature. If Esme had been nervous about hanging out with Billy before, when they were not-dating, then she agonized about their "official" date now, wondering what to do, where to go, what to wear. It was so excruciating that she almost regretted asking Billy out. She should've just let their relationship progress naturally. But it was too late for that now.

Thinking back, Esme realized she'd never had to take the initiative on a first date. Her first boyfriend, Marco, was part of her friend group in school, so they just did a lot of the same things and went to the same places; she never had to decide anything. After Marco decided to take a gap year and completely ghosted her, he was followed by a string of casual dates, where she just went along with whatever her dates suggested. And then she met Neil during her third year in uni, and that was that.

Billy, on the other hand, was happy to defer to her, and now, for the first time in a long time, Esme found her suggestions being listened to and accepted. It was rather a heady experience.

She thought it best to stay in the area that they were both familiar with, but even then, the choices were overwhelming. In the end, she decided on an Indian restaurant she'd once eaten at, not far from the clinic. It was the safest bet. The food was good, there was something for everybody, and the atmosphere was cozy and homey, nothing to make one nervous.

Still, Esme couldn't stop her heart from hammering that Friday night, when she entered the restaurant with its colorful glass lamps swinging from the ceiling, their rainbow rays reflected on the walls, and the soft twang of sitar from the speakers. It was warm inside the restaurant, much too warm, and she started to regret her choice of a sky blue dress, afraid she was going to sweat and the sweat stains were going to show. But then the warm, spicy smell of food hit her, and her nervousness was temporarily forgotten as her stomach growled. She had hardly eaten anything that day, partly from nerves, but mostly from wanting to save room for the delicious fare.

She saw Billy seated at a table by the window and approached him. There were already some poppadoms and an array of dips in front of him, and he was so busy fiddling with them that he didn't notice her until she was quite near. Fumbling, he stood up and immediately knocked over the bowl of lime pickles. "Shit," he muttered to himself, then "Sorry," to Esme.

Esme smiled at him. It made her feel better, knowing that he was nervous too.

"You look nice," he said. She thanked him and smiled again, though with some uncertainty this time. She wished she could say the same to him. Although he had put on a clean pair of jeans and a nicer shirt than his usual tee-and-hoodie, there was something rather unkempt about him, different from his general scruffiness. The sunken, almost feverish look in his eyes didn't help either.

"I'm not late, am I?" she asked, though she knew she was not.

"No, I was early. I asked them not to bring out the poppadoms right away but they still did, and now they've gone kind of soft—I wonder if they would warm them—have you ever had a poppadom and cheese sandwich?"

In the few months they'd known each other, that was perhaps the most he had ever spoken to her in one go. "Uh, no, can't say that I have," she replied, slightly bemused.

"It's great. You get some old poppadom, warm it up in the oven, put in some cheese—something sharp, like Cheddar, was best—Double Gloucester was good too—why do they call it Double Gloucester? Is it bigger than the Single?—you let it melt a little, then some mango chutney, it's almost like jam—where is that waitress?!"

He was talking brightly and excitedly, but far too much and too fast. The prickle in Esme's stomach was back, and it was not from hunger. To calm herself, she picked up a piece of poppadom, only to realize Billy had almost crushed them into oblivion.

"When I was leftover—no, I mean when I was a kid, we would have leftover poppadoms from Indian the previous night, and I'd have poppadom and cheese for lunch," he continued. The waitress arrived just then, interrupting Billy's discourse on the superiority of a poppadom-cheese sandwich. Perhaps that was why he looked almost irritated when the waitress asked if they were ready to order, and barely glanced at the proffered menu. Esme ordered extra poppadoms, chicken madras, and rice. For a moment, she tried to remember how spicy the madras was and wondered if it was wise to eat something so strongly flavored on a first date. But if we both eat it, we'll cancel each other out anyway, she thought, and blushed when she realized the implication of that. To hide her embarrassment, she asked Billy if he wanted to share some bhindi bhaji. He didn't appear to be listening. His eyes were fixed on the rainbow patterns made by the lamps on the wall, like one hypnotized.

"Billy?"

With difficulty, he tore his eyes away from the light and started ordering a ton of food, in the same rapid-fire speech. The waitress couldn't write down his order fast enough. Esme kept quiet out of politeness, but once the waitress was gone, she turned to Billy and said teasingly, "Hungry, are we?"

"Sure am." He grinned at her. "We never had a lot of Indian when I was a kid," he said, picking up his story as if there was no interruption at all. "If you want decent Indian—go to Faringdon or Wantage. In our village, there was only this one curry place, and I remembered it was horrible. They would just add curry powder into some unidentified meat stew and call it a curry. Us kids used to tell all sorts of horror stories about what was really in that stew. Jimmy once told me it was dog meat—"

"Who's Jimmy?"

This time, she was sure he deliberately ignored her question. "How's Angua?" he said.

"She's fine, she's settling in—"

"You left her at home?" he interrupted her.

"She'll be all right for a few hours."

"But we might be at it all night!"

As soon as those words were out of his mouth, Billy looked horrified.

Esme raised an eyebrow.

"Please tell me that's a joke about how long it'll take us to eat all that food you've just ordered and not what I think it is," she said in an icy voice that her younger siblings all knew very well.

"I'm sorry!" Billy said through the fingers clamped over his mouth. "I'm so sorry! I didn't—I don't—I didn't mean to say that!"

"Then what did you mean to say?"

Billy looked at her with such despair in his eyes that Esme's anger was almost forgotten.

"I—I have something to tell you," he said.

"What?" She steeled herself for the worst and returned his gaze with a hard, unblinking stare that wouldn't look out of place on a certain stern old witch that was her namesake. On the inside, though, she was screaming. Oh please, please don't reveal some sort of awful secret. My self-esteem can't take another blow.

"I have this—condition." He took a deep breath.

Condition? What kind of condition?! Is that code for "I'm actually a terrible human being and this is my excuse"?

"I have schizoaffective disorder," he said, his earlier excitement gone, his shoulders slumped in misery.

It was so unexpected that for a moment, all Esme felt was a sense of anticlimactic relief. But then came confusion and concern. She wasn't familiar with mental illnesses. She had her share of anxiety, of course, and some of her friends from veterinary school had struggled with depression, but that was normal for anyone in the medical field. All she heard was "schizo", and her mind immediately went to schizophrenia. Probably there was a difference, but she didn't know what, and didn't feel like asking, for fear of stressing Billy out even more. Suddenly it all made sense, his tic, his jumpiness, his slight paranoia, his mentions of therapist and medications.

"Please say something," he said miserably.

Esme floundered for words. She felt sorry for him, but she didn't know enough about his condition to talk about it. In the end, she settled for honesty. "I'm sorry, but I don't know what to say," she said, trying to sound as kind as possible.

"I usually have it under control, but what with the stress and the excitement of the date, I got hypomanic," he explained, then immediately added, "I'm not blaming you!" His hands reached across the table for hers, but he appeared to think better of it and drew them back again, keeping them twisted in his lap. "I'm just—I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner—I was going to, I meant to, I really did. But I—I didn't want to frighten you away—" His words were running together again. His right hand started its tic-like movement to tap his nose and chest, but he slammed it on the table, so hard Esme was afraid he was going to knock over the rest of the dip. Several heads in the restaurant turned toward them. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Esme looked at his usually strong and capable hand, now trembling on the table, and it wrung her heart. Whatever it was that he was going through, it was not his fault. That much she knew. She put her hand over his. "It's OK," she said. It was all she could think of to say at the moment, but that seemed enough for Billy. His trembling ceased, and his breathing slowed.

Just then, the waitress arrived with their food. Esme turned to her with an apologetic look. "So sorry to bother you, but I'm not feeling very well. Could we have this as a takeaway?"

After seeing Billy safely back to his flat in East Ham, laden down with his takeaway boxes ("I'll be eating Indian for a week," he said with a sad, sheepish smile), Esme returned to her own flat. Mentally and emotionally, she was exhausted and just wanted to curl up in bed, but she was still starving—it's funny how your body still functions and craves sustenance, even when your mind doesn't. Eating an entire curry was too much for her though, so she just nibbled on some poppadoms. Then, without really thinking about it, she rummaged in her fridge and found some Cheddar to go with it. He was right, it was delicious. It was like eating cheese with very crispy crackers.

But the thought of Billy squeezed her heart again. Unable to sleep, she looked up his condition and soon fell down a rabbit hole of websites and blogs and forums about mental illnesses. Unfamiliar, unsettling phrases jumped out at her. Psychosis. Hallucinations. Delusions. Paranoia. Mood disorder. At first, it was only her bad luck that she lamented —she had finally found someone she liked, someone kind and considerate, and he turned out to have a mental illness.

Hang on, her voice of conscience piped up. He is still kind and considerate. His mental illness doesn't define him. It's a part of him, but not all of him. The more she read about Billy's condition, the less she thought about herself, and the sorrier for him she felt. How he must be struggling, and how difficult it must be for him, to build up the courage to just talk to her. And she knew that he didn't want her pity. He wanted her understanding and her support. But could she give it to him?

She hadn't been in a lot of relationships—just two long enough to be called serious, plus a handful of casual dates—but all of them have turned out disappointing, so she knew what it was like to put so much faith into someone, only for them to let you down. How much that hurt. And from what she'd been reading about it, Billy's condition was a tough one to deal with. It would be terrible if she made him a promise and couldn't keep it.

At times like these, Esme wished she had a close friend with whom she could confide everything. But she had always been a loner. Most of her friends from uni were busy with their own lives now, and she'd never been close enough with any of them to talk about things like this. As for her family... Her parents would just say vaguely "It's your life, darling, we trust your judgment" and go back to whatever their latest projects were. Dad was making a pool house for frogs out of glass, and Mum was writing a story about frogs building a pool house, probably. Her younger siblings might have cheered her on when she broke up with Neil, who they declared a snob and a half, but they would also remind her that she was the sensible one in the family, and therefore must make the sensible choice. Which, in this case, meant not getting into a relationship with someone struggling with a mental illness. Besides, they were not that kind of family. Oh, they were certainly friendly, even affectionate with each other, and her parents always encouraged Esme and her siblings to express themselves, but when it came to personal feelings, you'd better sort that out on your own, love.

Esme looked around at her living room with its perfect white walls and perfectly arranged furniture, and sighed. She'd always valued order in her life. It was one of the reasons she'd gone out with Neil. One of the reasons she studied science and medicine and became a vet. It wasn't teenage rebellion (in fact, her parents had been quite supportive.) It was to give her life some sense of order and control, after the chaos of being dragged from pillar to post by her parents throughout most of her childhood. And now, with Billy, she was facing another kind of chaos, chaos of the unknown, and she wasn't sure she could handle it.

More chaos than Neil's infidelity? More chaos than how your life has turned out in the past seven months? She recalled Billy's sweet eyes and warm smiles, how he calmed her down, paradoxically enough, how she could nerd out with him, without being afraid of getting mocked or laughed at, how she felt more sure of herself around him. Would that be enough? Would that be enough for her to stay with him and face these unknown things? And would that be enough to silence her insecurities?

The next day was Saturday. Esme went to the rescue center as usual, wistfully remembering how she and Billy had agreed on a Friday night date just in case it turned out disastrous, so they could have another go on Saturday, when they met to walk the dogs. But Billy didn't show up.

"Where's Billy?" Priya asked, while Esme was attaching the leashes to the dogs and trying in vain to fend off their excited jumps. Angua sat patiently to the side, waiting.

"He's—um, not feeling well." Which was technically the truth. She hadn't checked in with him since the previous night, but she imagined he would want some space. And then, because she had been turning the matter over in her head until it was as battered as one of the dogs' chew toys, she blurted out, "Priya, do you know anything about schizoaffective disorder?"

Priya shrugged. "Not much. Why'd you ask?"

Esme bent over the dogs again to hide her flush. She didn't want to go around revealing Billy's condition to people. "A friend of mine just got diagnosed, and I was wondering how I could help, that's all," she mumbled, hoping Priya wouldn't put two and two together.

"Oh, I'm sorry. That's rough," Priya said. "It's good that you want to help though, most people wouldn't even bother." Her words pricked at Esme's conscience. "It's like with the disabled dogs, you know," Priya continued.

Esme protested, with a shocked laugh, "A person with mental illness was not a dog, Priya!"

"I know. I'm just saying, most people won't adopt those dogs because they're disabled, but they're still lovely creatures, you know? And if we don't give them a chance, who would?"

Those words were still playing in loops in Esme's mind when she returned home that evening. If we don't give them a chance, who would? She wondered whether it was she who was giving Billy a chance, or the other way around.

She mulled over the matter for another day, reading some more first-hand accounts of people with the condition and their struggles with dating and relationships. Then, when she came into work that Monday evening and realized she actually missed Billy, her mind was made up.

She gave him a call. He picked up immediately, as if he was waiting by the phone.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'm alright," he said. "A bit calmer, now. I think it wasn't just the date, but the stress of keeping this a secret from you—"

"I'm sorry if I made you feel like you have to keep it a secret."

"No, no, it's not your fault, it's—it's just not something I want to go round advertising, you know?"

"I understand," she said quietly. And she did. She might not know what it was like to live with a mental illness, but she knew what it was like to be judged, to be pitied, for things that were out of her control. She'd had enough of that after the end of her engagement. Then she asked, "Can we talk?"

"We are talking." She could hear the slight smile in his voice, and it cheered her up to know she could still make him smile.

"Not on the phone." This was too important to discuss on the phone. "Can I come by your flat tomorrow? Or do you want to go somewhere else?"

Billy took a moment to answer. "It's OK, you can come by. I'm taking a few days off work anyway."

"We can go somewhere else, if that's too stressful for you."

"No. 's fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

Esme had been by Billy's flat a few times but never gone in. It was on a residential street lined with terraced houses and a few blocks of converted flats, some with tiny, neglected gardens out front, but most were just bordered by squares of concrete and stacked with garbage bins. While her own street was not exactly Belgravia, it always made Esme sad to know Billy lived in such a depressing place.

The inside was not much better. It was a tiny two-room flat, but the lack of furniture made it seem bigger. In the front room, which doubled as the living room and bedroom, there was a sofa bed, a TV stand that held no TV, only a CD player and a stack of audiobook CDs, and a rickety table. The other room, which was the kitchen/dining room, was equally spartan, with a small fridge, a hot plate, a toaster oven, a table and two chairs. The windows were covered with Venetian blinds, and the walls were empty, but Esme sensed that unlike her pristine flat, the emptiness was not by choice. There was no personal touch, no memento or decoration, unless one counted the blocks and slabs of wood of all shapes and sizes that were currently scattered on every available surface of both rooms.

"Sorry for the mess," Billy said awkwardly, sweeping some wood chips off of the sofa. "The charlady took the week off."

Clearly, it was a joke to make her feel more at ease. Esme smiled, and he visibly relaxed. "What are those?" she asked, pointing at the pieces of wood, which had all been carved or cut in some way, but didn't really resemble anything.

"There's going to be an exhibition at the studio, wood carvings and sculptures and things," he explained. "All of the apprentices are encouraged to enter. Last week, I kind of went mad"—he said the word evenly, without any hint of hesitation or self-consciousness—"and came up with loads of ideas, but I couldn't concentrate enough to actually carry one out. I get like that sometimes, when I'm bad. I have all these grandiose plans... A few years ago, I even—" But he cut himself off and said no more.

Esme wondered, again, as she had all weekend, if this was a bad idea. Billy did seem a little better compared to last Friday. His eyes were still sunken, but the feverish look in them was gone, and though he still fiddled with his hands, he moved more steadily. But there was still so much about him she didn't know, so much she couldn't prepare herself for.

She sat down on the sofa, Angua taking her now-customary place by Esme's side. "I brought you some food," she said, opening her tote. "You must be sick of Indian food by now. There're sausage rolls in there, some salad, and mini Bakewell tarts. Made those myself," she added, with a modest grin.

Billy remained standing, looking at her with a mixture of tenderness and mistrust, as though he still wasn't sure of her intentions. "You didn't have to do that," he said.

"I know. I just like to bake when I'm nervous."

"What do you have to be nervous about?"

Esme had prepared a whole speech about how she would like to continue seeing him, how she was willing to learn about his condition, and how she would always be there for him as long as he took care of himself first, but now, as she went over it in her head, it sounded so... rehearsed. Detached. Disingenuous. So she simply took Billy's hand, pulled him down onto the sofa next to her, and wrapped both of her hands around his.

"I've thought about what you told me," she said, "and I don't mind."

Happiness and doubt chase each other across Billy's face. Happiness won, and remained. "Honest?" he asked.

"Yes." She squeezed his hand. "But you have to talk to me. Tell me when you're feeling unwell or uncomfortable. Don't keep things from me. Promise?"

"Promise."

Another awkward pause. Esme wasn't sure if she should kiss him now or not. She was never any good at timing when it came to physical intimacy. But Billy solved her dilemma by throwing his arms around her. "Thank you," he said, his voice choked. She let herself melt into the hug and felt him relax as well.

An impatient whine from Angua, probably due to the enticing smell of the sausage rolls, reminded Esme. "We should eat, before the food gets cold," she said to Billy.

"I was hoping our first proper date would be a little more romantic than this," he said apologetically.

"I've been on worse first dates than this," Esme said, smiling. "Really, it didn't matter."

But something just occurred to Billy, and his face lit up. "How do you feel about a night picnic?"

"This isn't another symptom of your hypomania, was it?" Esme asked as Billy led her up the stairs of the tube station, down another residential street, and into a back lane that ran between allotments. It was late autumn, and already there was a bite in the air, signaling winter to come. Most of the crops had been harvested, but some rows of winter vegetables remained, and the greenhouses and poly tunnels gave the place a homey, rustic look.

"No. I told you, this allotment belongs to Jacob"—Jacob was his boss at the woodworking studio, the kindly Father Christmas-lookalike Esme had met the day she went there to find Billy—"and he lets me come here sometimes. He even gave me the key." He stopped in front of a particularly large greenhouse, which took up almost an entire allotment, and pulled a key out of his pocket to demonstrate. He unlocked the greenhouse and walked in. Angua happily followed him, and, after a moment's hesitation, Esme did as well.

Billy fumbled with some sort of switch in the corner, and strings of fairy lights twinkled to life along the greenhouse's ceiling. Esme blinked in amazement. She was standing in what appeared to be a tropical paradise. Shelves lined either side of the greenhouse, stacked with terracotta pots full of colorful orchids and lilies. Tall ferns were placed here and there amongst the blooms, their fronds almost reaching the ceiling, the fairy lights glimmering amongst them like fireflies. More orchids and ferns and air plants hung from the ceiling. A small bench was placed at the far end, between the shelves, just wide enough for two people.

"Do you help Jacob with any of these?" Esme asked, gesturing at the flowers.

"Don't have much of a green thumb," Billy shrugged. "I made the shelves though."

Esme sat down on the bench and opened the bag of food. Billy squeezed in next to her. "Sorry," he said to Angua, who was forced to stay on the ground, for there was no room left.

After the chill of the autumn air outside, the warmth of the greenhouse was delicious. As they sat and ate and talked, Esme decided to reconsider her idea of a first date. It didn't have to be perfect. This wasn't perfect. The bench was damp, the sausage rolls had gone cold, the salad was limp, and the Bakewell tarts were slightly burned. But it didn't matter, because they were enjoying each other's company, and that was all that mattered. She'd put too much pressure on herself, too much planning, too much second-guessing. That was the problem. She should let her hair down a little, as her younger siblings often said. Don't think, just do.

She glanced at Billy. He seemed to have unwound as well. He was leaning against the back of the bench, talking about his woodworking with an enthusiasm she'd never seen from him before, completely different from his manic ranting at the restaurant the other day. Were those the fairy lights reflected in his eyes, or were his eyes actually sparkling? Esme had always found brown eyes rather dull, but looking at Billy's eyes, framed by long, curling lashes, she could have sworn they could change color, going from a dark brown, almost black, to a warm chocolate, to a bright amber, depending on the light and his mood. They were glowing now, and Esme felt she could get lost in them.

Then he turned to her, and her heart lurched.

"So Jacob lets you come here whenever you want?" she asked, trying to regain her composure. "That's very kind of him."

"Yeah. When I'm—bad, or just want to be alone, all these flowers and plants calm me down."

"So why not go to a park, or a botanic garden?"

"It's safer here," he said. Esme nodded, embarrassed that she didn't think of it. Of course. If Billy was having an episode, the last thing he'd want to do was to go to some public place.

"And what does he say about you bringing girls here?"

Billy gasped. "I've never—I don't—" Then he saw Esme's lips quirk up in a grin, and he grinned too. "You're teasing me, aren't you?"

"I mean it," she said, still grinning. "If you haven't brought other girls here, you should start. Because it's working."

"What's working?" he asked, gazing at her with those mesmerizing eyes.

This would be another moment for a kiss, right? Right?

Don't think, just do.

Esme leaned over and kissed him, by way of answering. His lips were soft, and his beard tickled, the unfamiliar sensation making her laugh. Billy smiled as well, and their teeth knocked together, making Esme laugh harder.

"What's funny?" Billy asked, his lips hovering over hers.

"Nothing. Sorry. I just realized I've never kissed anyone with a beard before."

"You want me to shave?" 

"Maybe later—no, I'm joking! I don't mind the beard."

And to prove it, she kissed him again, still laughing. Billy moved into that laugh, pressing his mouth more firmly against hers, while his hands found their way to her back, holding her close.

She believed they would've stayed like that for much longer if Angua hadn't jumped up between them and demanded their attention. They turned to the dog, both fussing over her, trying to apologize for neglecting her, but unable to stay away for long, they returned to find each other's lips, again and again.

"Wanna go home?" Billy whispered, as they drew apart for the third time.

She pressed her forehead to his, so his eyes filled her vision. "Yes," she said.

Chapter 5

A/N: Poppadoms and Cheddar are really good, actually.

"Don't think, just do" is NOT a Top Gun: Maverick reference! It's a line from Snow Patrol's "You Could Be Happy". I only realized it was in Top Gun: Maverick after I finished the fic and looked it up.

And lastly, yes, I did give one of Eddie's lines (with a bit of modification to make it more British) to Billy. Just a little Easter egg for all the JQ fans out there :)

Taglist: @quinnypixie, @accidentalslag, @etherealglimmer (as always, if you want to be added to the taglist, just let me know!)

[tomtenadia]

My knight in shining armour

Rowaelin month Day 2 - University AU

I literally just finished this. I wasn’t going to write for this prompt but then an idea finally hit me.

The title as usual is bad... sorry

2k words

-----

Aelin had days in which she hated men. That was one of those days. 

After finishing high school she decided to took a challenging course at the University of Terrasen. Her dad, before he retired, had been an airforce pilot. She had grown up going around his base, visiting him when he was back. In doing so, she had become obsessed with planes. As she grew up, her dad had let her get friendly with his engineer and the man had started teaching her all she needed to know about aircrafts. From the basic physics to the more obscure detail of how the jet worked. Aelin had been fascinated. She had started reading all the possible books, and as she got older, her dad’s engineer had also started having her to actually help her in the hangar. In the summer when school was out, she would actually get a part-time job as an apprentice at the base and she had loved every moment of it. She had also become very close with the two female pilots and together they had spent time talking about the life of a woman in a boys club. The two women had become her role models very quickly.

Terrasen was quite and open minded country but some ideas were still quite obsolete.

In high school at the question “what you want to be when you grow up?” She always answered an aircraft engineer for the airforce. She never faltered or never doubted. That’s what she wanted to, that was her path.

But when time for uni arrived and she applied for a degree in aeronautical engineering, that’s when she realised that the boys club extended far more than she expected.

She was basically the only woman in the class. None of the guys had approached her and on the first day she had walked in the classroom, one of them had the guts to tell her that the humanities department was in the annex c. She ignored the bastard and sat down at the front. She belonged in that room and she would prove it to every single one of them.

Day after day she had shown her knowledge and surprised her professor who was amazed at the fact that she could answer such in depth questions. Last time it happened, she had turned to Chaol - the asshole who had told her about the annex c, and gave him a smirk. That had removed his stupid grin from his face. It felt amazing.

During a private one-to-one with her professor she had confessed to him she had been working at the airbase as an apprentice during the past three summers. Her teacher had luckily been very supportive and encouraged her to keep up the good work.

Now, six months in, she still hated with a vengeance the arseholes she had to study with. Some of them even had the guts to ask her for some help after they realised she was actually good. She had answered that surely they didn’t want the help of a woman, and walked away.

After another class it was finally lunch time and she was meeting Rowan down at their spot on the grass. They were a couple. He had asked her out in the summer after high school was over and they had been together ever since. He was a med student and he knew her pain about choosing a challenging degree. Both their degrees were very intense and required a lot of time so they would just try and spend as much time together as they could. They had a flat together but the public library was were they spent most of their time.

And when their schedules allowed it, they would enjoy lunch together, venting about their academical choices.

“I fucking hate that bastard.” She raged, dropping her bag on the grass and sitting at his side, depositing a kiss on his lips. She felt better almost immediately, being in his arms was all she needed to feel okay again.

“What did he do now?” Asked Rowan knowing of her struggles in her classes.

Aelin grabbed her bag and pulled out her food, the dinner that Rowan had prepared the previous night and then packed away for both of them.

“The teacher gave us an exercise where we had to design an aircraft with what we had learned so far.” She told him, while munching away her food “He was up first and his project was a effing disaster. Seriously, I’d wouldn’t want to fly on a plane designed by him.” She took a sip of her water “the teacher asked us to say what was wrong and it took me ten minutes to stop. I mean, a two year old would have done a better job with lego bricks.”

Rowan giggled at her side “then my turn came and the bastard had the guts to tell me that the aerodynamics of my plane were off and that my ailerons where wrong as well and would not allow the plane to function properly. I took my laptop and shoved it in his face and told him to find the error in my math. He had no clue.” Her face turned smug “then the teacher took over and said that actually my project was, among all, the only one that could actually fly. I felt smug as fuck.”

Rowan pulled an arm around Aelin’s shoulder and pulled her to him. He was proud of her. Every damn day.

“Then after class, he threw me a paper plane and inside it had a message saying this is the only plane you will ever build or work on. I swear, the guy is still alive only because I am not looking forward to finishing my degree via distance learning from a prison.”

She calmed down “how was your day?”

Rowan leaned back against the tree “I had anatomy and physiology. Today we covered the endocrine system and it must be one most boring of them all.”

“Well,” she added with a big smile “when you cover the reproductive system you are welcome to practice with me…”

He laughed and squished her to her chest “I am a very big fan of your… bits.” She kissed him deeply not caring that they were in public, she wanted him and hated that they had more classes before being able to go home and then alas, study more. Maybe for one evening they could study something different.

“Aelin?”

“Yes, buzzard?”

His tongue gently teased her and she opened for him while his hand brushed off a rebel strand of hair.

He pulled back “Nothing, you had tomato sauce on you lips. I was just wiping it off. Did you think I wanted to kiss you?” 

Aelin gently punched him on the shoulder, in return he gave her a massive grin. Rowan was a very reserved man who struggled with stranger, but she had her own version, the goofy one, the one who made jokes and loved to cuddle with her. She would treasure that version forever. That was just for her.

They were busy chatting away and she was showing him on her laptop the exercise she had been working on and her plane prototype and although what she was saying was greek to him, he still listened to her in fascination.

She was telling him how a plane flew and the four forces when a figure stopped in front of them.

“It must be exciting to brag with your boyfriend about your hopeless projects.” Said the man.

Rowan raised his eyes and finally saw the face of the man that had been making Aelin’s life miserable.

“What did you just say?” Rowan stood and towered on the brown-haired man by twenty centimetres. Chaol also looked frail compared to Rowan’s muscular frame.

“Chaol, you’d better go.” Not that she cared about the man, she just didn’t want Rowan to get into trouble for a petty man.

“You’d better give up while you still can, Galathynius. Aeronautical engineering is not a field for a woman.” He crossed his arms at his chest trying to look intimidating but the look in Rowan’s eyes told her it was a useless attempt. Her boyfriend was ready to attack. She knew he had never hit anyone, but had a feeling that if Chaol didn’t stop it could be a first for Rowan.

“Chaol,” she stood as well and growled his name in warning.

“Oh, so you are one of those arseholes who believes that certain jobs can be done only by those who were born with a penis. It’s the fucking 21st century. Grow up, idiot.”

Rowan swore, alarm bells rang in Aelin’s head. He only swore when he was extremely mad, something that her unflappable boyfriend rarely was.

“Oh look, Galathynius, you have a knight in shining armour.”

Aelin moved between Rowan and Chaol, trying to separate them when her boyfriend moved a step closer to the other guy.

Chaol chuckled “Did you sleep with every professor—” but Chaol never finished his sentence. She saw the scene develop in slow motion in front of her. At those words Rowan’s face had turned feral and as on instinct his arm moved and a second later his fist found its target in Chaol’s face. 

Rowan then grabbed Chaol by the collar and lifted him up slightly “You take it back, immediately or I’ll smash all the twenty two bones in your skull.”

“Go on,” said Chaol, nursing a broken lips.

Aelin stopped in between and grasped Rowan’s hand gently “Put him down, Ro, he is not worth it.”

Her gaze then turned to Chaol “now you go back to whatever shithole you came from and perhaps go back working on your project and design a real aircraft.” She moved closer to him “I know what the fuck I am doing. And I know I will have a job in the airforce after this. You will just go back being daddy’s little spoiled boy.”

Chaol glared at her and Rowan finally let go of him, bur before he fully released him he pulled the man close enough that his mouth was near his ear “you disrespect her like that one more time and you’ll finish your degree from a hospital bed while sipping your food from a straw.” Rowan flashed his teeth in a threatening gesture “you leave her alone, because if I hear you have been a bastard to her one more time, I will make your life a living hell.” And eventually released him. Chaol shrugged his t-shirt back into place and walked away without adding another word.

Rowan sighed and then turned to her, his expression back being soft as soon as she looked back at him.

“You didn’t have to punch him,” she said while snuggling against his chest. His arms quickly around her.

“Yes I had to. What he said….” She felt him tense up again “he made me so mad, fireheart.”

“Seeing you thump him was very sexy,” she kissed him gently on the lips “my knight in shining armour.”

Rowan chuckled and looked into he blue eyes “you don’t need a knight. You are fierce, brave and strong and do not need any protection,” he added, his lips on her head. Nesting under his chin was her favourite position. They fit perfectly “I, on the other hand, as a male who is hopelessly in love with you, felt the desperate need to avenge the sullied honour of my amazing other half.”

Aelin giggled hard “you really sound like a knight.”

“Come on, Sir Rowan Whitethorn of Wendlyn, let’s finish our lunch, I have an hour of mechanics of flight coming up and I need sustenance.”

“Yes, my queen,” he said kneeling in front of her.

Aelin laughed and kissed him deeply “maybe I can be your queen tonight in bed as well.”

His smirk grew wider and Aelin felt heat pool at her core at his expression.

“Whatever m’lady commands.”

They finished their lunch in peace without any more interruptions and eventually they parted ways, going to their respective classes.

Chaol did not bothered her anymore. He didn’t even met her gaze and him ignoring her was all she asked. She was there to learn, he could just go and sulk in the afterburner of a jet, perhaps while on, for all she cared.

Aelin texted Rowan a thank you and his reply was a simple To whatever end.

[sunatooru]

Hi B! I’m a new follower. If it’s alright, may I send in an emergency request? My comfort characters are bokuto & atsumu. Could you write about them caring for y/n who’s hardcore struggling with college and is supportive of her decision to switch programmes? If that isn’t enjoyable for you to write it could be them coaxing them out of bed and making sure they eat. Aaaah this is so depressing im so sorry.

I’ve been... having a really difficult time with college like my mental health has gone down the toilet gg.

On behalf of everyone, thank you so much for doing emergency requests. Much love to you. I hope you have an amazing day.

Hiya! Welcome! It’s absolutely fine if you send emergency request. I, myself, are struggling with uni work too so I feel you haha. I hope you take some necessary rest and have some food whilst you study (don’t forget water!). Thank you so much! I know I say this a lot, but I really don’t think I’m good at comforting, so I hope these help in some way xx

~

Not really a warning: burnt out student 

~

Bokuto

* He notices how drained you are, you seem weaker than when he last saw you

* Have you been eating?

* It worried him seeing you so frustrated yet empty, and he was going to find out why

* He sees you slumped over your work, he shakes his head and rubs the back of your head

* “Hey baby! You don’t look so good.” He raises you head and you tell him about the hard time you’re having

* He’ll listen carefully, pulling you off your seat so you’re now sitting on him

* “Hmm, if you want to change programmes, you should. It’s better to be in a course you like and comfortable with and if that means you’ll look after yourself better, then go ahead. You know I’ll always support you baby.” He cups your face and presses a kiss on your forehead

* He’ll help you with transitioning programmes, he’ll help you retrieving materials for it, like books and help you with timetabling

* If he sees you struggling again and failing to leave your bed, he’ll join you and whisper how much he loves you and hopes you will join him to eat

* If that doesn’t work he’ll kiss your cheek and pick you up

* He’ll probably reward you with kisses if you drink that glass of water and take another bite of the food he bought

Atsumu

* He knows how exhausting it is when you’re trying your best but still are further from your goal

* He knows you’ve been having a hard time, from you dry replies and barely leaving your room, and he doesn’t want to see you like that anymore

* You’re in bed, laptop on your stomach as you type unenthusiastically, the snack he brought you untouched

* He shakes his head when he hears you stomach growl while you just ignore it

* “Babycakes, I know you’re not ignoring your health for this course.” He narrows his eyes at you and although he’s a little annoyed, he just cares so much about you

* He’ll close and pick up the laptop, putting it somewhere far from you

* If you try and reach for it he’ll just chuckle and hold your hands

* “If you want it so badly, eat your snack and then get it.” He’ll suggest and caress your face when you pout

* “Come on, eat baby. You look so tired, still beautiful, but you need to take some breaks too.” He’ll sit on the edge of the bed and lean forward to kiss your nose

* When you tell him about changing programmes, he quickly pulls out his phone and looks up how to switch

* “What? The quicker you switch, the better you’ll feel, right? All I want is for you to feel good and take care of yourself.” He kisses you quickly giving you his phone to see what he found

* If you’re not eating properly, he’ll buy extra food and feed you

* He’ll give you a long soft kiss and if you try to keep on kissing, he’ll pull away and tell you you’ll get a kiss if you eat

[minnochu]

Lustrous (pt. 14)

Hybrid!Kook x Fem!Reader AU

Pt 1 | Pt 2 | Pt 3 | Pt 4 | Pt 5 | Pt 6 | Pt 7 | Pt 8 | Pt 9 | Pt 10 | Pt 11 | Pt 12 | Pt 13 | Pt 14 | Pt 15 | Pt 16 | Pt 17 | Pt 18 | Pt 19

(A/n): Hiya! Welcome back to another update! I can’t even believe it myself that I managed to update so soon after the last one ahhh. I was so excited to write this and can’t wait for the next upcoming parts so please enjoy! Much love to you all!

NOTE: Small little warning that this part contains minor gore? Probably not as graphic as my other fic Interference was, but still kind of yucky so be warned!

Another note to the note: Sorry if this was a bit sloppy or there’s many mistakes, I tried going through it as quickly as possible. Also, I will update links and masterlist schtuff when I get home from uni so bear with me!!

..

Through it all, Jungkook continued to not understand why he felt the way he did. Why were you so important to him? Why jump head first into this when Yoongi could’ve done so? 

What Hyejin had said to him before the mind meld continued to pick at his brains. Was this all because of the imprinting? He didn’t know. And that annoyed him. 

After the three of you returned from the mind meld ritual, your memories returned and fortunately, everyone returned unscathed. The others had mentioned Jungkook’s struggle in the beginning, but he waved it off, washing the dried up blood that had spilled from his mouth. That was another thing bothering him. Why was he at that cursed laboratory again? It resurfaced past memories he despised and kept in the back of his brain, but the mind melding had brought it back.

Following the return, Hyejin never left your side, reprimanding you for trusting Taehyung and offering to let you stay at her place but you all knew that you were safer here than anywhere else. Hyejin had been filled in on the details of your powers and such, giving in when she knew this was something only they could handle not a mortal like herself. 

Before she left, she motioned for Jungkook to follow her out. Despite the frown that etched its way across his pouty lips, he relented and followed her outside. The others looked at one another, but knew not to interfere between those two. Only you had no idea what there was between the hybrid and your friend or why it made you feel weird on the inside.

“I’m not gonna scream at you to stay away from her if that’s what you’re expecting,” she sighs as the boy closes the front door behind him. The mortal steps off the door step and onto the wooden planks of the porch. The ritual didn’t take more than an hour, but it still felt it had to the hybrid. 

He shrugs nonetheless, leaning himself back against the wall beside the door, “You reek of anger, I’d be surprised if you wouldn’t scream.”

“I just don’t want her to get hurt Jungkook. I know she’s safer with you all, but I just can’t trust that it’s you she’s most fond of,” she exhales heavily, turning over to stare out into the forest, “I don’t want--”

“I know,” he interrupts firmly, not meaning to let out the low growl that sounds from his chest, “Sorry… I just… I know and you know too that I tried my best to keep her at an arm’s length.”

“And yet you imprinted on her?!” Hyejin snaps back before sucking in a breath and calming her nerves, repeating with a softer tone, “...You imprinted on her…of all things…”

Imprinting. He wanted to forget about that. It didn’t make him feel any better about the way he was starting to act and feel around you but what Hyejin said smacked him in the face. 

“Protect her please,” Hyejin whispered, already knowing what he must’ve been mulling over in his head.

He didn’t answer.

He couldn’t look at you anymore after that. Hyejin went home and he went back inside. He gave little emotion or response as he locked himself in his room. There was too much on his mind, and he just couldn’t figure out what it was that bothered him about the whole imprinting situation and what he felt towards you. 

“Jungkook?” Your voice called out to him once the sun lowered in the west and the moon took its place. By that time, he skipped dinner and continued to lay sprawled out over his bed and staring blankly at the ceiling. 

That’s right, he thought, ignoring the way his heart beat faster at the sound of his name on your lips. You were staying in his room for the time being, but he wasn’t ready to see you just yet. Why did his heart beat? Was it himself, or was it his wolf? Damn the imprinting for turning him into this mess of feelings. If he hadn’t imprinted on you, then would he still have this peculiar affection towards you? 

He didn’t answer. 

You were confused and worried, wondering why he had gone outside to talk with Hyejin before returning and looking as though something was bothering him. You asked Seokjin about it at dinner, but he smoothly dodged the question and changed the subject. Yoongi was the only one who answered curtly that it was something you would have to talk to Jungkook about, but currently he was avoiding you. 

He could smell the worry from outside the door, and suddenly he felt the urge to rip the door open and comfort you. Was that really what he wanted? He didn’t know. It made it complicated that he couldn’t tell the difference between his own feelings and what he was forced to feel due to the imprinting. 

“It’s best to leave him alone for a while,” Yoongi’s voice sounds from the hallway, “Take my bed, I’ll sleep in the living room instead.”

Jungkook’s mind went blank. His heart clenched in pain as his mind began to race with thoughts of refusal at the offer. 

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no! 

It drove him mad the whole night. The thought of you sleeping in another wolf’s bed, made his insides burn with distraught and fury. 

And yet he decided he just couldn’t do anything about it while he was trying to figure himself out and how he felt about you. 

The days passed and you would go back to school, although he would keep his distance and leave it up to Jimin and Taehyung to watch after you.

“This has been going on for longer than I thought it would, what’s wrong with you?” Yoongi interrupts the hybrid in the middle of his homework one day, holed up in his room as usual. 

Pursing his lips, he turned away with a curt, “Nothing.”

The older wolf grins as he closes the door behind him and plops onto the bed beside the youth. The mattress dips underneath the addition as Yoongi hooks an arm around Jungkook’s neck into a headlock.

“Come on now, I can smell how fucking jealous you are from a mile away. You can’t just tell me it’s nothing when Hoseok and I have been sleeping in the living room for the past week... it’s not good for the back you know?”

Jungkook continues to stay silent, unsure what to make of his feelings and insecurities in front of his hyung. He notices this and releases the younger from his hold.

“If it means anything Kookie-ah, she’s really worried. It’s all up to you really, but you can’t just keep her in the dark like this.”

“And what? Tell her my oh-so tragic backstory and how I imprinted on her? She’ll reject me, she’ll think I’m playing with her feelings. What if my wolf is the only thing making me attracted to her? What’s going to stop her from being repulsed by the thought that my feelings aren’t genuine?!”

Silence. 

And then Yoongi quirks a brow, “So you admit you have feelings for her?” 

“Th-that’s not the point hyung!” Jungkook’s face goes red with embarrassment and frustration, his fist flying towards the wolf’s face on instinct. 

Catching it in his palm, Yoongi shakes his head with a click of his tongue, “I don’t think you understand what it really means for a wolf to imprint on someone. Sure it’s complicated when you’ve imprinted on a hum... I mean witch... but you’ve gotta let yourself accept it or else you’ll keep hurting yourself. No one’s saying it but all you’re doing right now, is running away like a mutt.”

He rises to leave when the other refuses to reply, “Let me give you some food for thought. What’s the difference between Hyejin and (Y/n)? What sets them apart?”

Frowning, the hybrid doesn’t have the answer to his question, nor dos he want to think about it right now.

And Jungkook returns to his cycle of avoiding you once again.

Fed up with his obvious avoidance, you decided to take matters into your hands. The worst he could do was go vampire-wolf on you, but you knew that was just not something he’d do. 

“Jimin,” you tug the wolf by his sleeve until he pauses mid step to regard you with a cock of his head. Taehyung notices the two of you have stopped walking back home, and halts as well. They notice your fidgeting fingers, your scent heavy with nervousness. 

“Can you… somehow get Jungkook alone with me?”

The wolf grins cheekily at that, “If I didn’t know any better (Y/n), I would think you’re about to jump our maknae.”

Your cheeks flare a bright red hue at the implication before you wildly wave your hands in front of you. “N-no! I just…” You trail off, obviously embarrassed by your own words.

His toothy smile widens. Placing a hand over your head, he nodded in understanding, “I’m teasing you (Y/n), we’ll do our best, right Tae?”

The vampire replies with a nod, smiling warmly at you. It was the least he could do after he continued to feel guilty about the whole memory manipulation ordeal.

Later on, you would wait in Taehyung and Jimin’s shared room while they made an excuse for Jungkook to go there. Soon, you can hear multiple footsteps outside, along with the muffled voices of the three boys before the door opens and the hybrid steps in. Your scent meets his nose right away and he turns abruptly to escape as soon as possible. However, Jimin smiles cryptically at the younger as he turns around in effort to leave. His eyes flash a mischievous glint of gold as he lays a hand over Jungkook’s chest.

“Sorry Kookie-ah,” He snickers before shoving him backwards with added force via supernatural strength.

He could totally knock down the door, he thought as he attempted at the door knob to find it magically locked. Was Seokjin-hyung in on this as well? That didn’t matter. Right now, he was not ready to face you just yet as he sorted out his feelings. But he couldn’t stop the way his stomach flipped and heart drummed louder in his ears. Glancing at you, he couldn’t help but long for the days he let himself freely be around you. It was more over the fact that he was too unstable with controlling his vampiric side, but that he didn’t know how to look at you anymore. Did he like you? Or was his wolf forcing him to like you? The more he thought about it, the more questions he had unanswered and it left him in a frustrated stump. 

Then you spoke, and his world began to blur until it was only you he saw. It was your voice in his head, and he couldn’t tell if he hated or loved it. 

“Jungkook, I don’t know what happened or why you don’t want to see me anymore… but I hate this! I know it’s not my place to know what happened between you and Hyejin or whatever happened in your past, but I hate that you just won’t look at me anymore and I don’t know why!” You frowned, and he felt the urge to want to do anything and everything he could to wipe it away.

He grew red in the face. Not from anger, nor embarrassment, more of holding his breath before finally relenting and taking you by the hand. “Hold on,” he muttered under his breath as he walked towards the window. Flipping the lock, he used his free hand to pull the window up and open. Turning towards you, he tugged lightly on your hand in his. Letting yourself be pulled, you felt his arms slide underneath the crook of your knees and around your back. Biting your lip, you looked away in poor effort to hide your embarrassment. 

Blue bled across his irises as he hopped from the window and ran through the woods. Pursing your lips, you glanced up at the concentration in Jungkook’s expression, his mouth pulled into a taut line as he held you close to his warmth. Smiling softly, you leaned your head on his shoulder, relishing in his scent that you had missed for the last few weeks or so.

Eventually, he’d come to stop at a creek, a small pond in the middle of the forest where he came many times before to clear his head or be by himself. Setting you down on the mossy ground, he beckoned you over to a patch of land along the shore that was slightly raised in a hill-like appearance. You both sat down, finding a patch of dirt where the moss didn’t grow. Where the pond was located, the trees cleared and created an opening within the forest to let sunlight shine over the clear waters. Rocks of varying sizes scatter around the body of water along with tufts of wild grass sprouting around and within the pond. Looking closer, you could spot a grey scaled fish with orange fins swimming idly among the various underwater plants. In another instance, you watch as a small frog dives into the shallow water, leaving behind a circular ripple from where it dove into the liquid.

Around the two of you, birds chirp and sing softly in the background, accompanied by the occasional ruffle of the leaves of the surrounding brush. A rabbit, maybe, you thought as Jungkook continued to watch the water silently. Following his gaze, you almost miss the minuscule water strider, standing still on the surface of the pond. 

“It’s beautiful,” You whisper as spot the movements of a squirrel racing up a tree trunk with his cheeks full.

The hybrid turns his head slightly and nearly forgets how to breathe. Blinking once then twice to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. It was at that moment, he glanced at you, bathed in the sunlight beside him as you watched the happenings of the forest with a serene smile, he thought you were fucking beautiful. More beautiful than the scenery you were complimenting. 

“Jungkook?” 

He snaps out of his reverie, cheeks blooming with a shy pink hue. A soft giggle makes it passed your puckered lips as he turns back to you with a frown. 

“I found this place years ago, it became somewhere I could run to when I need a minute to calm down.”

“It’s very calming,” you hum in agreement, watching as the frog from before hops onto a floating lily pad, “Thank you for showing me this place.”

“Yeah…” he agrees curtly, focusing his attention on the ground where a patch of orange wild flowers have grown. Silently, he lets his fingers brush over the petals of each. 

“So?” You ask, leaning forward to rest the side of your head on your bent knees. The action is minuscule as you gaze at him with a gentle upturn of your lips, but he finds you so so pretty that he has to look away again to fight off the blood rushing to his face. 

“You gotta tell me what’s up Jungkook, I won’t know what to do if all you do is avoid me…” You start out carefully, “It’s absolutely your choice whether or not you tell me… I just want you to trust me... like I trust you.“

“You’re just like me, right?” you quote after him with a sly glint in your eyes and he relents. 

That was just unfair, he thought.

“I guess it’s only fair that you know about my past, if I know yours.”

The hybrid shifts to face his body towards you and you mirror the movement. You cross your legs as he rises onto his knees. Holding your breath, you watch as he scoots forward, leaning his upper body closer to you. Your heart beats faster, as he gazes hesitantly back and forth between your eyes and down at the ground, and you’re afraid he’ll hear it. And he can, if only he weren’t so conscious of the sound of his own heart. 

“I would tell you, but I think it’s better if you take a look yourself.” The wolf took your hands in his, his heart flipping at the contact before he swallowed down the feeling and placed each hand over his temples. 

“W-wait,” You stammer, “I’m not going to hurt you will I?” 

You had a point, after the two times you and the pack had to deal with anything having to do with memories and the mind.

“Stay calm, and you shouldn’t do much as give me a slight headache,” He offers a meek attempt at a joke as both of your eyes slip close and the amber stone resting over your chest begins to glow. Just like mind meld, your whole being and surroundings vibrate wildly before you reopen your eyes to find yourself in a home. It seemed normal, like any other family home. Looking down, you examined your body to find it looking almost transparent as if you were ghost in this world. 

Walking around, you find yourself standing at the entertainment system where many picture frames sit. Your hand moves through one, proving your ghostly state, so you opt to bending slightly to look at the photo of a young boy smiling with three other people. You deduce him to be Jungkook with how similar the two look, the other possibly being his parents and a brother. 

“I’m home!” A voice chirps loudly and in comes the said boy. You turn, wide-eyed, as the boy passes through you easily and runs into the kitchen. Following after him, you soften at the sight of Jungkook running into the arms of his mother, who had been cooking dinner for the family. 

Days pass as though the fast forward button on a television remote had been pressed, and you watch as Jungkook grows up. At one particular moment, you watch in the dimly lit confines of the hybrid’s room as the boy snuggles close to his mother and father. The three stare at the ceiling where she and her husband had stuck glow-in-the-dark stars to the ceiling. Each night, they’d tell him tales and stories of the stars. 

On this particular night, little Kook stood up on the mattress suddenly and grinned at his parents, “Mommy! Father told me that the stars and the moon moved when he met you and he burst into flames!” 

“He did what now?” she giggled as her husband caught her leer and laughed nervously.

Shaking her head, she hooked a finger under the left pant leg of his pajamas to tug him back to lying down with them.

“Let me teach you something Kookie-ah,” his father chuckled heartily as he wrapped an arm over both his youngest son and wife, “When I said the stars and moon moved, that was when I knew your mother and I were fated.”

“Fated?” He repeats with a confused blink of his eyes.

“Yes fated, the day I met your mother I felt the world shifting around me, it felt like hm… like I just drank lots of hot chocolate until my belly felt hot!” Jungkook giggles at that, “And nothing else mattered to me except your mother, I wanted to be anywhere she was, we were soulmates if you’d like to put it that way… She and I were fated to be with one another... like a perfect match.”

“I’d do anything and be anything for her regardless if she rejected me or not. Even if she had rejected this old fool, I would continue to fall more and more in love with her.”

“What if mommy said no?”

“Then I would die.”

Jungkook’s mother glares pointedly at the man, her eyes flashing a dangerous gold.

“I’m kidding! Then your dad would hurt really really bad!”

The woman growls teasingly at her fated before leaning down to press a kiss to her son’s forehead. Her slender fingers brushing strands of his sooty hair that fell over his eyes.

“One day, you will also imprint on a lucky little she-wolf too…”

You frown at that, top teeth pressing into the plush of your bottom lip at the thought of Jungkook being fated to be with another she-wolf. Where was the chance that he’d ever be fated to you, a mortal siphoner, right? 

Then you paused. Why were you so worried about that? 

Soon, the world shifts suddenly, almost making you dizzy as you witness the kidnapping years later when Jungkook has reached seventh grade and Junghyun, his brother, has reached 9th. The two are knocked out with blows to the back of their necks from pursuers that had been following them for the past week. You watch with a hand covering your mouth, as if you could make any noise to alert anyone, while the two men haul the children over their shoulders before disappearing in the blink of an eye. 

Vampires, you thought as you grimaced. 

Jeon Jungkook and Junghyun would not be making it home safely that night. Their mother and father would search day and night for their missing children with no luck. 

The next time your world shifts, you find yourself in a warehouse, the inside expansive as it holds numerous amounts of crates, cages, and equipment. Any and every window is covered by sloppily nailed on wooden boards, covering the building in darkness aside from the few light bulbs hanging from the high ceiling that do little work in lighting up the large space. Walking through the paths the clutter of items create like a maze, you can’t help but feel sick to your stomach. You pass several cages and can barely keep yourself from looking away from the amount of were-creatures kept captive inside the rusting bars. Most have given up hope, sitting silently with eyes devoid of any light. Their skinny bodies shiver, barely clothed and covered in bruises and cuts. Some are already long dead, you find as the malnourished creatures take to eating their rotting cage mates, making you gag in horror and disgust. 

When you stop at a particular cage, your blood runs cold and you almost go running for a bathroom when you look inside. Eyes widening, you’re face to face with what you guessed was their sick take on a chimera. The poor young man is barely sitting up with gangly bat wings sprouting from his back, horns extending from his forehead along with hooves replacing his feet and a long lion’s tail coming from his tail bone. His face has sunken in, and his body almost appears like he’s merely skin and bones at that point. 

When you manage to tear your eyes away from the chimera, you slip through plastic curtains that separates itself from the rest of the building. The section is filled entirely with examination tables with metal straps at the base and towards the middle. Carts, filled with tools that you’d expect to see in an operation room and test tubes filled with liquids labeled with cream colored painters tape, sat beside the tables. Glancing down, you suck in a breath at the amount of blood splattered on the ground, some are a fresh dark red while others have dried into a faded reddish-brown. 

Of the few populating the section, one prisoner is strapped down and struggling as the man above her injects a needle into her. His gloved thumb depresses on the plunger until all of the contents have been ejected into the young girl’s system. She jolts and her chest rises up and down rapidly as her arm trembles and her veins begin to swell and protrude from her skin, soon followed by angry red welts. Her eyes burn a raging gold mixed with a milky white, black pupils narrowing into pin-like slits. The welts bleed green and scaly, hardening her soft flesh from her shoulder to the tips of her hands turned talons. 

Gulping down, you turn and almost jump out of your skin when a scientist walks through you, almost forgetting that you were currently looking into Jungkook’s memories. 

Following after the male, you look to another table where a boy, looking to be in his teens, is sedated as the scientists above open up the ventral side of his body. Feeling squeamish, you notice the cart full of larger jars instead of vials, all of which are filled with preservative liquid with various organs suspended in each. They make work in transplanting a new heart and other organs into the male as you observe with a hand to your mouth. Passing by the cart, you squint down at one of the containers where a label is messily scrawled with the characters reading “ghoul” and another reading “siren��. 

You thought back to the miserable chimera lying nearly half dead in his cage and gagged at the idea of what monstrosity they could be cooking up here. 

“Junghyun!” you hear before you could explore any further, not that you wanted to, causing you to turn at the sound of Jungkook’s cry. Rushing in the direction of the voice, you come to a halt when you spot the young wolf being held back by henchmen. Tears run down his full cheeks, eyes burning a harsh gold as he struggles against the two men. The two are much stronger than he is, holding him without breaking a sweat as a man cackles and he kicks the convulsing body of Junghyun on the ground, “Wait patiently little wolf! Your turn is next!” 

The way he slurs those words with a leer of his golden eyes has your stomach stirring in the wrong way.

You watch confused as the older brother awakens with a shout, his eyes a mixture of gold and amber. The color of a newborn, you suppose if you remember anything from your classes on the different creatures. That thought leaves your mind as the boy cries out in pain, rolling over onto his hands and knees as tremors rack his body. His eyes are wide with strain as red liquid seeps from the lower seam of his eyes. 

“Junghyun! Junghyun!” Jungkook continues to cry as his brother screams in agony and furiously claws at his own face. This creates deep gashes from his claws, bleeding profusely from both the wounds and his eyes. 

The man from before only continues to howl with boisterous laughter at his suffering, swinging his leg back and into the teen’s ribcage. The force sends him flying sideways until he smashes into the hard surface of a crate. 

You have to tear your eyes away as the boy slowly dies from rejecting the blood the vampire had forced him to ingest. His screams having grown hoarse and exhausted and his body falling limp in finality.

Jungkook grows furious, growling and snapping at them.

“Your turn, little one,” the man grins wildly as the nail of his index finger protrudes into a sharp claw. Slowly, he walks towards the struggling boy as he takes the sharp nail and slides it across the flesh of his forearm. A straight line of blood drips from the deep cut.

Unamused by his struggling, he throws a hook to the side of the younger’s face. Jungkook’s head snaps left from the force, cheek flaring with pain as he coughs out blood. 

“Shut the fuck up and drink up,” The man hums as his hand grips harshly at his jaw to open his mouth forcibly, causing the boy to struggle once more. Settling his arm over the child, he watches with fascination as his blood falls into his mouth and he’s forced to swallow it. Licking his lips with a satisfied smile, he mutters lowly, “Now this will only hurt a little bit,” before all five of his finger nails extend into sharp claws and he thrusts his whole hand forward into Jungkook’s chest.

You gasp with tears springing to your eyes, covering your mouth with both hands to muffle the sound of surprise that jumps out of your mouth.

The struggling has stopped all together with his breathing and the two guards release the boy. His body drops with a heavy thud. Seconds pass before Jungkook repeats Junghyun’s previous movements, screaming and convulsing wildly on the ground as the vampiric blood races through his circulatory system. When his erratic spasming slowly calms down, his skinny body is covered in a thin layer of sweat and his chest is falling up and down in tandem with his harsh inhales and exhales.

The next events are too hard to watch as Jungkook reawakens as a transitioning werewolf-vampire hybrid, mistakenly murdering his parents before killing and drinking from the man who had turned him and deceived him. His transition had completed and he was filled to the brim with fury and sadness. His eyes bled with furious rage of iridescent blue and amber as he killed anything and everything within the warehouse. 

When nothing remained living, the boy left in hopes of finding a body of water to wash up. He wandered for hours away from that damned warehouse, finding himself lost in forest, huge in comparison to him. Nothing to eat or drink, he dragged himself through the forest looking as though he’d bathed in blood, claws and incisors extended, and his eyes glowing their blue and amber hue. 

Blood. He craved blood so desperately. And he wasn’t about to start licking his blood covered hand like a dog. Although he was a born wolf after all, but that was besides the point. He was not about to accept his new found hybrid status, he despised it. Why did it have to be him? Why did his brother have to die? The more he continued to think about the events within the warehouse, his blood boiled and his eyes began to bleed more amber than blue.

Any living creature he could find, be it a rabbit or squirrel, ran for their lives from just feeling his presence. Even for you as a mere spector, the amount of animosity and power unfurling off his being was almost as overwhelming as it was in reality. 

His eyes slid closed as his vision grew blurry. The world tilted and he let his body tip over and fall flat on the ground.

You sat crouched by his side, heart hurting for the tall boy before you heard the slightest noise of leaves crunching underneath the weight of something or someone. Blinking, you bit back a gasp before the world shifts and you’re back in a familiar room. 

When he comes to, eyelids slowly sliding open, he hadn’t expected to be staring up at a roof over his head. Raising a shaky hand, he clutched at his forehead thrumming with a dull ache from hunger and dehydration. Glancing around, he blinked before shooting up into a sitting position.

“Woah there, take it easy,” a voice chuckles from the doorway and you recognize the aura. 

Goosebumps unfurl across the surface of your arms as a younger Min Yoongi steps over to the bed and sets down a tray of rice porridge and a glass of water on the nightstand. His smile is slight but welcoming nonetheless when Jungkook casts him a guarded glare.

.

Tags:  @twilight-loveer @reinyrei@mistytail@mygukandonlyficrecs@xanny91@unpocodesoledadywisky@xxqueenwxtchxx@lildemonangele@gukworld@sunnyoongles @zamirayinyue13@hannahdearr @serendipity-secrets @ilaria-np @jules-park @treetops68 @mischiefmakerliesmith5 @jeonkooksgirl @coffeeismylife28 @nshitae @bookoffracturedescapes @ellsbells72

@tiredjedi

[smolla-than-a-bug]

Death Eaters, Eh?

A/N: i’ve always liked the idea of a supernatural x harry potter crossover idk why sksksk and then this happened sjjsjssjjs i’m not too proud of this but i hope you guys like it :))

|| Masterlist ||

pairing: harry potter x fem!reader, dad!dean winchester x daughter!reader

timeline: harry potter and the deathly hallows

summary: Hunting all her life is a handful—especially when having Dean Winchester for a father—so when Y/N catches a glimpse of leaving to make her own apple pie life, she seizes it. However, she discovers that what they say is true: No one can truly escape the hunter's life.

warnings: swearing

THIRD PERSON P.O.V.

Y/N sighed, tiredly, as she struggled to fix herself another mug of coffee. The coffee maker, for some reason, refused to function properly no matter what she did to try and make it work. She was already experiencing difficulty with her attempt at being normal, and it really showed.

Ever since she had moved to London to live the 'apple pie life', as her father so referred to it, she had had trouble adjusting. The shift from full-time hunter of the supernatural to full-time normal teenager, balancing work and uni, constantly made her want to vomit. Back at home, things were dealt with a simple "Shoot first. Ask questions later," and voila—problem solved. Although, she knew that she would someday become accustomed to living the normal life.

She allowed her phone's screen to illuminate. Thursday, it read. She groaned.

Her paper was due on Friday, which was the next day, and she had been too caught up with work to notice the days that went by. As a result, here she was—struggling to write a paper.

It was during these moments that made Y/N miss hunting with her dad and uncle. She missed researching in the vast library of the bunker, and she longed to once again experience another banter with her dad in the Impala. That was home to her.

It did not help that her wonderful boyfriend was away at a mysterious boarding school—one that only permitted letters delivered via literal owls for communication—for most of the year. It was weird, but then again, Y/N thought, who was she to judge?

She hadn't heard from Harry until earlier in the week, receiving a piece of parchment delivered to her by an owl named Errol with forward, hastily scribbled words that read:

School won't be allowing mail this year. Don't send Errol back. Love you. -Harry

This left Y/N confused beyond words, but she brushed it off, nevertheless. She was able to learn how to care for an owl in a span of a few days.

-

When Y/N finally got the coffee machine working, she unintentionally filled her mug to the brim, streams of her coffee furiously cascading down her mug and onto the counter.

"Dammit," she swore, frustrated that pouring coffee was just another thing she failed at doing properly. She just wanted to sleep.

It was when Y/N turned to find a rag, to clean up the mess she made, that she heard a loud crack which seemed to have emanated from the living area.

Y/N jerked at the alarming noise as her hunter instincts kicked her in the face, she suddenly felt awake. Someone was in her apartment. She abandoned the idea of finding a rag, and she snatched a knife off of the counter instead, crouching behind the granite kitchen island.

She then heard another loud crack, and another, followed by a voice unknown to her as well as some violent sniffing.

"Where's the girl?" one of them inquired—male, Y/N made sure to note. Y/N concluded that she was the 'girl' in question. Now, she was aware that the unwelcome visitors were after her. Was this another Men of Letters thing? It couldn't possibly be.

The sound of footsteps seemed to get louder, indicating that the intruders were getting closer. Her right hand clutched the knife firmly, mentally preparing to engage. She could then make out the three sets of feet making their way to the island she was hiding behind.

When Y/N decided it was time to make an appearance, she popped up from behind the counter, and threw it at the first figure she saw. She noted that in her kitchen stood two male figures and one female.

The knife plunged itself into the shoulder of a man she deemed as one hairy bastard. The said hairy bastard let out an animalistic growl and launched himself at her. Werewolf.

Y/N fought back as best as she could, remembering all of her training as a hunter. She felt a wave of adrenaline engulf her at the experience, which she had longed for. The werewolf's bizarre female companion let out a maniacal cackle.

"GREYBACK!" the male associate with the long white-blonde hair scolded—the dude screamed authority. "We need her," but 'Greyback', as he was now known, refused to move, "Alive."

And Greyback hesitantly retreated slowly. Snarling, he revealed his canines.

Seeing wands in the hands of the intruders, Y/N knew they practiced magic. Witches—lovely, she bitterly thought, having momentary recollections of how much her dad had openly expressed his distaste for witches.

Y/N knew it was a dumb decision, but she was a Winchester and she could not conjure a more sensible idea. She made a break for it, managing to push past the woman, only to have her arms forced to her sides and thrashing in the grip of Greyback.

Blondie spoke again, this time directed at Y/N. He tutted, "Filthy muggle."

Y/N growled at him, and then shouted in frustration. "Son of a bitch! Damn I hate witches." She fully understood where her father's fiery hate came from now.

"Oh, so I see Potter's told you about us?" sneered the woman.

Y/N was confused. "Potter? As in Harry? What does he have to do with this?"

The three froze in surprise before the woman spoke again, "So it seems as though he has not," before letting out another cackle. She seemed to ne enjoying this a little much.

"Curious," Blondie observed.

"Would you cut the shit? What's curious, and what does my boyfriend have to do with this?" Y/N was annoyed, the slightest bit betrayed even. She suddenly felt as though significant details on Harry's life had been kept from her knowledge.

Blondie ignored her. "What are you?"

"I'm a hunter, you genious," Y/N rolled her eyes. Blondie looked surprised, but quickly put himself together and smirked. "Thought you might've known that already, but.. guess not."

He hummed, "Bellatrix, you've got a new toy."

-

"Death Eaters? Seriously? Okay, so you're Death Eaters.. So.. You eat d– is that how it works?"

Y/N was bound on her desk chair with rope in the middle of her living area, surrounded by more witches and wizards who referred to themselves as 'Death Eaters'. They gave her the privilege of experiencing the Cruciatus Curse, which hurt like a bitch, but this was not the first time Y/N had to endure torture.

"I am not going to repeat myself. Now, where is Harry Potter?" demanded Lucius.

"That depends," Y/N pursed her lips. She would protect Harry with her life. It's her job as a hunter to protect, and she was only driven all the more by her undying love for him. "Who's asking?"

Lucius responded with a look of disbelief and irritation as he was slowly getting fed up with her games. It was silent for a moment.

"Well then.. I ain't tellin' ya." Y/N flashed them a wide smile.

Y/N was bloody, bruised, and tired; but, she refused to lose her charisma and give the damn wizards the satisfaction of breaking her. Moreover, she would rather they torture her than Harry.

Lucius looked to Bellatrix. She raised her wand, but before she could screetch the word 'Crucio', a red beam of light interrupted, followed by many more, and the Death Eaters all made their escape.

None other than Harry, Ron, and Hermione emerged from the source of the lights. Y/N let out a breath she was not aware she was holding.

Harry rushed over to her side, removing the ropes that bound her to the chair and allowing her to collapse onto the floor. Looking her over, he was horrified at her injuries and at the evidence of torture.

Hugging Y/N to himself, he kept mumbling the words "I'm sorry" over and over again while tears fell down his cheeks. He could hardly see over his glasses, which were situated crookedly on his nose.

"It's okay," Y/N tried to get Harry's attention, but it seemed as though he could not hear her over his tears and apologies. "Hey– Harry!"

That caught his attention. When he finally brought his green eyes to meet hers, he did not expect to be met with Y/E/C orbs that seemed to be filled with experience with these kinds of things. Y/N was composed—not fully, but enough—and she did not seem very fazed by the fact that she'd been tortured.

Bringing her hands up to cup his cheeks and wipe away his tears, Y/N whispered, "I'm okay," before attempting for a smile, pressing her forehead to his, and allowing a single tear to leak out of her left eye.

Harry kissed Y/N’s forehead, and let out a shuddered breath. He then rested his right hand on the nape of her neck, his left hand around her waist, and he nestled his face on the crook of her neck. In turn, Y/N wrapped her arms around him.

They remained on the floor like this, in tears, holding each other close before Ron popped the question: "What are we to do now?"

Slowly pulling away, Harry rested his hands on Y/N's arms. "I guess she comes with us."

[terrablaze514]

Hello, Other Me (Trowa's internal struggle revealed)

Finally, the proper version! *I'll edit the Masterlist later*

@thisweekingundamwing

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Just borrowing them for fanwork purposes. No money is being made.

Rated M (Refer to the **note** below). This also contains brief mentions of past abuse and psychological issues.

**If you're a survivor of abuse, do not read the AO3 hyperlink. Please, don't. An abused character who never talked about his past starts channeling his former abusers and takes it out on two companions/bandmates. So skip that link. I will share a headcanon in the near future.**

**Since Trowa is my main muse for this particular project, it's an outlet, background knowledge of entertainment pros/cons, past experiences with stigma/marginalization, and the result of internalizing scars + not seeking professional help (because others will look down on you, poke fun at, or reject you for talking mental health. At least that's been my RL experience, so I never discuss my anxiety, depression and memories of being molested and harassed).**

**This scene is the aftermath of breakfast gone wrong; the dark outtake on AO3 that's not for the faint of heart. Trowa's alter-ego had attacked Quatre and Duo. Here, he confronts the monster he became - a distinct reflection of his former abusers versus his defense mechanisms, or self-preservation.**

~•~

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Series: Secret Magic (currently a WIP)

Type: AU (Modern-day, Music group, College/Uni)

Scene: Hello, Other Me

The young man struggled, painfully so, as he rose to stand. He gripped his chest; his heart knew too well what was coming next. As his pulse rate increased, he willed his lungs to concentrate on breathing. 

Inspire… Expire… 

He kept this momentum going every five seconds until his systems were at ease. The young man braced himself as he stared at his reflection. 

His breakfast prep was a mess! An epic fail at that. His red bathrobe was tattered, rather loose from the waist up. The red markings on his chest served as proof of his illicit activities with Quatre. His hair flew in places. It made him look like a madman who was on the verge of exploding with anger. In a swift move, Trowa fixed his tattered hair. Where his uni-bang belonged, he couldn’t do it this time. His hair gel was in the bathroom, so… He settled for pulling his hair back and holding it. 

Both emerald-green eyes were visible. Those eyes revealed a flurry of emotions: Guilt, shame, and fear. 

His dried tears made up for the brokenness in his spirit. He had hurt Quatre and Duo in ways that he couldn’t fathom. The last thing he remembered was asking Duo why he was in the kitchen… then his memory zoomed in on Quatre, laid on the island counter like a starfish. He knew what he did; it wasn’t him. It was- 

“Hello Trowa,” greeted a monotonous voice in his head, void of expression. “How would you like to try Treize next? You know, get rid of him. He also played a role in messing things up for the group…" 

Trowa’s eyes flashed with mischief, he nearly jumped out of his skin. Startled, he whispered with a shaky voice, "Why? Why won’t you leave me alone?” Although the other voice sounded so much like his, its tone was far from friendly.

"Because I need you, Trowa. We complete each other. This world has silenced you long enough. It’s time to act on revenge.“ 

"Shut up!” he snapped, his own voice barely audible. “Why can’t you leave me alone? I thought getting rid of Dekim was enough. I don’t need you anymore!” His frame shook as he held the tall mirror in his closet for dear life. 

“Look at you,” the voice sneered. “Surely, you can’t go to school like that. You’re not supposed to be weak. Heck, I’ve protected you from the verbal abuse you’ve endured growing up. I took all your pain, your burdens, your shame. Everything! I’m your mental escape from trauma." 

The threatening flames in Trowa’s eyes faded. As they regained their calm composure, he spoke up. 

"Why did you? I could’ve handled things myself. I would’ve ordered Duo to grab some food and leave, helped Quatre clean up, and we’d keep it going in my room or his." 

The flames in his eyes returned once more. 

"That’s pathetic, Trowa,” it said, condescending. “I can’t believe you would become a softie." 

Trowa growled and glared at his reflection. Another set of flames waged a war with the initial flames in his eyes. "I’m getting ready for school. Leave me alone, Nanashi. Don’t bring my friends into this!" 

The voice snickered. All of a sudden, Trowa’s reflection spun and revealed the outfit he had planned to wear. Faded blue jeans and a black leather jacket over his white shirt. His uni-bang covered one eye, although it still looked ominous. His reflection crossed his arms and leaned forward. 

"Mark my words, Trowa. You have no name. You are weak. You can’t face the simple fact that your life means nothing without me. Now wipe those tears and get moving!” His reflection peered at the ceiling and tapped his chin before returning his gaze. It spoke with relentless nonchalance. “Oh and before I forget, eat those pancakes you’ve left behind. And if any of those G-Boys, or Zechs, get in your way, shove them aside. Otherwise, I will kill them in your sleep." 

"No!” Trowa shrieked as his reflection, Nanashi, laughed with a snarl. “I won’t allow it!” His hands balled into fists as Nanashi regained his composure and wagged his index finger at Trowa. 

“Tsk tsk. Do you really want seven years of bad luck? No matter what happens, I will always be a part of you." 

Trowa backed away from the mirror as Nanashi stared with a mean, satisfied smile. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head in a desperate attempt to get this entity out of head. His fists slammed against the floor in intervals when the closet door opened. 

"Trowa!” Zechs called. “I thought you had school today. What’s going on?" 

The Latin youth opened his eyes and looked up from the floor. "I need to see Dr. Sally Po today,” he said with determination.

[dezembergirl]

Mr. Darcy

Umm, I guess I’m sorry for not posting it what feels like half a year *hides behind the list of excuses I prepared*

But in all seriousness, I’m sorry. I’ve been super busy and uni just doesn’t go well with writing regularly. So I’m actually proud I finished this. Although its a little rushed I hope you enjoy it!

If you have any inspiration for the next part, leave me a comment. I can’t promise regular updates, but I I will try. <3

Part of a series (part one, part two, part three, part four and five) (as always inspired by @nonibanoni)

Fandom: Skam

Pairing: Noorhelm

originally published to ao3

Noora had already crossed half of the school yard before Nissen when a routine grip into her backpack made her freeze mid step. The usual mess of books, pencils and separate strips of gum that were her backpack was disrupted by a soft piece of knitted wool. Noora frowned and the creases on her forehead deepened when the memories of last night came back to her.

They had been watching a movie at his apartment with Noora curled against William’s side. He had made her another cup of cocoa and given her his biggest smile yet when Noora had taken a sip and concluded it was better than the store made one from earlier in the day. The chocolate trickling down her throat had warmed her but the cold from their stroll had still remained in her limbs.

«Never would have guessed you being so cold sensitive.» William had mumbled against her ear while tugging a plain grey blanket around her torso.

Noora had bitten her lip at that but hadn’t found a fitting response - silence was always preferable to a flimsy comeback. The blanket cocoon and Williams arm wrapped around her shoulder had brought her body back to a tolerable temperature. Well that and the not so infrequent kisses they had sneaked back and forth throughout the movie. A few times his lips had even trailed from hers to wander across her neck. Noora only prayed he hadn’t left any visible marks that might cause awkward questions which she couldn’t very well answer. With every peck her lips had softened to his and by the time the end credits rolled across William’s fittingly oversized tv screen, Noora had been completely drawn under his spell. So much so in fact that she hadn’t even tried to refuse him wrapping his scarf - the one she had already borrowed for there not-a-date date earlier -around her bare neck before driving her home.

Stealing one’s boyfriend’s clothing was an incredibly cliché thing to do and Noora had never really seen the appeal in it. Not that she had never considered the idea. She had seen Eva’s impressive collection of snatched sweaters first hand countless times. It somehow felt wrong to take something that didn’t belong to her. Noora knew she shouldn’t feel as guilty as she did. It wasn’t like she stole his scarf on purpose in the first place. It had been an honest mistake and he had not demanded it back either. Still she hated being in his debt, even for a silly thing like this.

Noora’s fingers curled around the softly knitted material - she would have to return it. The idea was so silly she almost had to laugh out loud. Noora Sætre, the girl that valued nothing more than her own independence, was threatened by a feeble scarf. It wasn’t the item itself that unnerved her, but the very likely possibility of William using it to force her into seeing him again. Yesterday been wonderful and she was well aware that she probably liked him more than she should and it was exactly because of that undeniable attraction that she had to lay low for a couple of days. The scarf needed to be returned, as soon as possible. She huffed and was about to take it out of her backpack for better inspection.

«Noora, so good to see you.» Vilde hurried up the steps to catch up with her. The scarf in one hand and her brows furrowed Noora turned around.

«I was so worried about you. Eva told me you took off early Friday. But you really can’t just leave like that, without telling anyone, Noora.» Shit, she had completely forgotten about the aftermath of the Penetrator party. Her mouth opened but Vilde’s forward statement had caught her off guard. She closed her mouth again and with a haste that didn’t fit her normal calm composure she forced the scarf back into the depths of her backpack. Vilde followed her hands and pushed her head to the side with a questioning look dancing across her face.

«Noora, what is going on?» Vilde squinted her eyes to try and see what Noora was doing a very bad job of hiding from her.

«Nothing» she swung the backpack over her shoulder and gave Vilde a reassuring smile. «I … I just forgot my Englisch paper at the apartment. Eskild loves going through my stuff, so yeah.» a nervous giggle escaped her lips and Vilde’s eyes grew even wider. The awkward pause that followed resulted in Noora biting her lip and forcing herself to look anywhere but her friends inquisitive eyes.

When Vilde finally spoke again, the discomfort of the situation became glaringly obvious. «Okay, you can borrow mine if you want.» Noora deflated in relief and was about to resume their walk across the yard when Vilde crossed her arms before her oversized down jacket. «What’s going on, Noora? You’re hiding something and I know it!» the possibility of new exciting gossip suddenly litt up her eyes. Noora huffed and was about to tell Vilde off, explaining how some people disliked the idea of having their private lives echoed across the school yard and in consequence the whole damn school.

But before she could even attempt to open her mouth in protest. Eva scooted around the corner and a little out of breath added to Noora’s demise. «Who’s hiding what?»

She looked excitedly between Noora and Vilde, who almost squealed in delight at having a witness to her commencing interrogation. «Noora isn’t telling us something. She’s been acting weird all week.» Noora rolled her eyes. «I have not.»

«You did and I’m not stupid you know.» Vilde swung into full gear. «First you disappear from the party on Friday without a word.»

«I was tired and went home.» Now it was Noora’s turn to cross her arms in annoyance.

«Then you don’t write back for like a whole day?» Vilde was ticking each incriminatory observation off on her fingers. «You disappear again after school yesterday and whatever you have in your backpack, I’m sure its something your new girlfriend gave you.» she finished with a satisfactory smirk.

Noora never blushed but she did now. The almost painful accuracy of what Vilde had just deducted fired her cheeks bright crimson. She pursed her lips and did her best to send Eva beside her - who apparently found no shame in straight out laughing at the whole situation - her most menacing glare.

«I do not have a girlfriend» at least that part wasn’t a lie «and I really don’t appreciate you following my every move.» Noora retorted but Vilde only seemed to take her defense as further confirmation of an underlying plot that she had yet to discover.

Noora had never been this thankful to hear the bell shrill inside Nissen’s walls. Without another word - but nevertheless two sharp looks directed at Vide and Eva - she pulled on Eva’s arm forcing her into the B building. «We’ve been late to Spanish twice already this semester and we don’t wanna risk detention, right?» she growled at her beanie clad friend.

«I surrender.» Eva held her hands up in mock defense «but you are in deep trouble. Vilde won’t let this one go so easily.»

Noora gritted her teeth. Eva was right, this one was far from over.

-

The morning lessons dragged on and recess carried over into their afternoon classes without any notable occurrences but Noora was almost glad for the slow day. She had no shared classed with Vilde but Eva’s knowing glances were agonizing enough. Plus the scarf was still in her backpack, which she made sure to keep an eye on at all times. The last thing Noora needed right now was someone tracing it back to William - she was almost certain she had witnessed him wear it at school at multiple instances.

She could try and find out about William’s class schedule but they had no mutual friends and the only conceivable person she could think of to ask, was not a possibility. Vilde, who had never seen the need in hiding her unending obsession with William, had no doubt memorized his entire timetable. Noora could try and look for him in the yard or the cafeteria but what where the chances of actually meeting him and she had no idea how she would justify her recurring disappearance to her friends.

Noora twisted her pen while Eva struggled with a Spanish crossword puzzle beside her. The whole situation was all due to her recklessness last night - something she swore to herself couldn’t happen again. It would be useless to look for William between her lessons. Even if she managed to find him she couldn’t very well approach him out of the blue. He was never alone and Noora was not about to embarrass  herself in front of the Penetrators. The thought alone made her grit her teeth and slump against the back of her chair. Her pen tapped against the finished paper and she let her gaze wander around the pale class room walls. Most of her class mates were hunched over their desks and it was impossible to tell if they actually focused on the exercise or rather their phones - the latter was more likely.

She could text William of course. Not that she hadn’t thought of that before. Her inner need for control had lead to her scrolling through their exchanged messages since Friday during the last quarter of her Norwegian lesson. Whatever this was between them, it was progressing faster than she had anticipated and that fact alone made her nerves recoil in mute panic. Noora wasn’t shy to admit to her inner control freak. Eskild had remarked on that very fact countless times; how her closet was never messy, her part of the fridge always in perfect order or how she hadn’t skipped a single day of classes since coming back to Oslo. But now that her naturally anxious mind mixed with a secret romance she had to hide from - well - everyone, something was bound to go wrong. Noora couldn’t text him. He had always been the one to initiate their conversations and her writing him in the middle of class would only encourage him even more in his pursuits. It was the last thing she needed.

When her attention driftet back to the finished crossword in front of her, Noora noticed that Eva had managed to find the better part of the words and was now watching her expectantly.

«What?» Noora stopped tapping her pen.

«Nothing» Eva pursed her lips to hide a smirk «It’s just, I think Vilde hit the nail square on the head. You’re hiding something, or better someone.»

«Well, I am not and I really don’t care anymore if you believe me or not.» she retraced the already written letters on her paper.

«Noora Amalie Sætre» - wasn’t it enough that William apparently loved saying her full name every chance he got; now Eva had to adopted the habit as well? - «for all the intelligent things you say, you’re a fucking terrible liar.» Noora only rolled her eyes in response. Eva looked almost as pleased with herself as Vilde had earlier.

«What’s really in your backpack?» Eva pocked at her sweater. «He isn’t writing you secret love letters, is he?» her eyes grew big.

«Oh my god, why the hell would you even think that?» Noora forced out, careful not to raise her voice too much.

«I don’t know if you’ve encountered a mirror today, but…» Eva gave her a shameless grin.

«What?» Noora almost squeaked, already dreading the answer.

«Well, I mean the turtle neck helps but you kind of have a …» Eva coughed to suppress a laugh and motioned at her own neck «… a spot on your … your neck.» Noora almost gasp out loud.

«What?» she tried to surprise the rising panic while she scrambled for her phone and opened the front camera. Her fingers scoured the pale skin on her neck and sure enough there was a light purple mark visible just above her collar bone «Oh god.»

«Don’t worry, it’s not very noticeable. Just keep your sweater up and you’ll be fine.» Eva couldn’t resist a smile «It’s actually kind of cute.»

«I really can’t get any worse.» Noora buried her head in her hands and evaded Eva’s sharp eyes.

«So, are you gonna tell me what was so embarrassing you’ve practically been sitting on you backpack all day?»

«No, not really.»

«Oh, come on» ,Eva scoffed. «You’re no fun today.»

«Please, just let it go.» she almost begged, being painful aware of hoe red her face must have gotten in the past ten minutes.

«Okay … but you’ll have to tell me at some point.» Eva waved her pencil at her in a scolding motion. «If it’s really a love letter, I need to know. William might be a secret Mr. Darcy.» Eva widened her eyes at her own imagination.

«Oh my god, no. It’s not a freaking love letter.»

She really needed to get rid of the damn scarf, and soon.

-

When they finished Spanish and before Eva could drag her off to meet up with the others, Noora excused herself to the bathroom - ignoring Eva’s knowing looks. She rested her backpack next to the sinks and pulled out her phone.

Noora: Can I meet you after school? I’m off at 16:10

She sent the message and gnawed at her lip as she waiting for a reply. Not a full minute later the three dots appeared and her nails started to tap again her phone in a matching rhythm.

William: Sure, already miss me that much?

Noora: Not really, but I need to return something

William: Ok

Then nothing, and Noora started to wonder if texting him had been the best idea. She couldn’t estimate his response to her wanting to return the scarf. Would he find it silly or even be hurt by it? Her nerves went into overdrive once again.

William: 14:20 at my car

Noora exhaled. Now it would only be a matter of shaking off Eva with whom she had the last class together.

-

Apparently she had endured enough embarrassment for today, because when the last bell rang Eva announced that she had dance practice and took off without another cheeky comment about Noora’s situation. Maybe she had just wanted to spare Noora any further embarrassments. Either way, she was glad not to have to find an excuse to sneak off to William’s car.

William was already leaning against said car and the light coming from the street lamps hit him just right in that moment. Noora bit her lip, compelling herself to keep the fluttering tingles in her stomach at bay. The past days had awoken a part of her that had a taken a liking to defying all reason. Realizing how weird she must look, standing there eying William from afar, she paced towards the car.

His head was shielded from her view by the usual gray hoody and his eyes were distracted by his phone - most likely texting Chris. The neatly tucked away pieces of dark hair sneak out from the hoodie. Noora pursed her lips but the smile still spread across her face.

«Hey» she leaned against the car just inches away from him, breathing the words as close to his ear as possible. And just like she had when he had whispered into her ear in the school corridor his body jumped and Williams eyes widened in a moment of shock.

Satisfied with his reaction, Noora tilted her head and smirked at him.

«Missing something?» she dragged the zipper on her backpack open.

«Besides you, you mean.» William pushes his hair back into the hoodie.

Noora had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes for what felt the hundredth time this day. «I’m being serious.»

«Me too.» William curls his lips upwards and pushed off the side of the car. They are barely a twenty meters away from the B building but to her own surprise Noora didn’t retreat back when he reached for her hand. He is careful when he touched her and his hand gently pulled hers closer until she found herself enveloped in his arms. «I mean it, Noora. Knowing you’re just a few classrooms away and being unable to see you is torturous.»

Noora smiled and relaxed into the hug. Her inner rational self scolded her for enjoying this, but hearing him say it out loud - how he missed her even though it hasn’t even been 24 hours - felt good. «You’re exaggerating.» she whispered and lets out a squeal when he suddenly retreated and let her fall back against the car.

«Don’t mock my honest feelings, Sætre.» William playfully shook his finger at her.

«Well, you do deserve it.» she crossed her arms and leaned against the hood of his car.

«What for?» he flipped his hair back for the millionth time.

«For leaving me to explain this to Eva!» Noora forgot all about the backpack lying on the ground and reached up to her neck, pulling the cream coloured fabric of her turtle neck sweater down to the line of er collarbones.

Williams eyes widened in surprise for a moment but he quickly recovered and Noora gasped in outrage when he proceeded to lick his lips. His eyes narrowed and he didn’t look the least bit ashamed when they roamed across the bare skin of her neck, examining the purple mark.

«Stop looking so god damn smug.» she gave his chest a playful push and his eyes flickered back up to meet hers.

«Sorry, I apologize.» he smirked at her.

«You don’t really mean that.» Noora tightened her grip on his chest, effectively latching onto his hoodie.

«No.» his smile grew when she hit him with another light punch. «I mean, I am sorry for the situation it got you in, but I certainly won’t apologize for kissing you.»

She opened her mouth to retort something clever and for the second time in two hours her mind was empty for a fitting response.

«You don’t regret it either, do you?» he moved closer to her ear, pushing her tighter against his car in the progress.

No, she didn’t but in that moment Noora would have given anything not to having to admit that out loud. The memory of last night, the movie - its plot she could hardly remember - and William kissing her with increased frequency made her cheeks flame with heat. She sensed her resolve weakening when his hand found her neck and sneaked higher into her hair. His second hand slipped under her coat to rest against her waist and she felt heat pool in her body.

«William» she murmured.

«Mhm» his breath was hot in contrast to the chilly spring temperatures and the contact drew goose bumps across her skin. Her protest evaporated into nothing more than a content sigh when his lips finally found her bottom one. Her nerve endings buzzed with excitement and his torturously slow movements left her aching for more. This was so much better than the crappy love letters Eva had been fantasizing about. But before either of them had a chance to deepen the kiss the car parked two spots to their left kicked into action and Noora jumped backwards at the sound of the roaring motor.

Her already racing heart threatened to explode in her chest and William - who looked surprised but nowhere near as shocked as she felt - burst into laughter.

«Not funny.» Noora sent him a threatening look but he only liked over his lips and shrugged his shoulders. «You should have seen your face, priceless.»

«Unbelievable» she huffed and picked her discarded backpack up from the floor. She tugged the scarf free from her books and all but smashed the thing into his face. That only made him laugh louder.

«Sorry. Okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.» he scrambled to catch the scarf and without another look disregarded it to the hood of his car. Noora followed his hands and wasn’t sure if she should be astonished or frustrated with him. Either way she envied the carefree attitude he handled all of this - whatever this was between them - with.

«A cup of cocoa to make it up to you?» he pulled her closer again. But this time Noora was quicker and dipped under his arm and away from his car.

«Not today. I do have other things to do in my life than sipping cocoa and watching movies at your apartment you know.» with that she gave him one last peck and hurried out of the parking lot.

Noora certainly did look forward to the next time she could spent all day with him and his hot cocoa. She would have her revenge for the hicky.

[nobravery]

The Neighbor — Part. III

a Shawn Mendes Series.

A/N: Here’s Part. III, holy shit it took me forever to write this. Thanks for reading. And feedback always makes me happy. :))) Also tagging @babyshawwn bc of caramels. « PART ONE « PART TWO WordCount: 5,947

In the afternoon, y/n was on her way to go to the library. Alone, because Em wanted to go shopping a bit. The young girl came out of her building and walked. As she was still walking in another street — she wasn’t too far from her destination —, she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. Em Found some interesting books in town. Shall I buy them? She was still walking when she read the text message. She was about to reply to her friend, when she bumped into someone. « Oh, sorry, she said mechanically. – It’s okay, they affirmed. » But when she raised her head and saw the person’s face, she startled straight away, her heart dropped to her stomach and her expression changed, within two seconds then, turning into surprise and mostly anger. « Chris?! » Actually he hadn’t physically changed. He was still tall, had still brown hair and eyes. Eyes who were staring at her. « y/n?? » He looked as surprised as her obviously. « What… what are you doing there? he carried on. » She clenched her teeth strongly, trying not to hit him. « What are you doing there?! she asked him violently, pointing her forefinger on his chest, pressing it strong enough against him and making sure to hurt him. » He smirked, making her clench her jaw even more. « I’m on vacation, he simply declared. Don’t tell me that you’d already forgotten that my mom was Canadian? She’s actually from Toronto, my family and myself are spending the week there. Happy Canada Day also! » y/n didn’t reply and continued to clench the teeth. « So what about you? Chris questioned. » She stared at him, with angry eyes. « I currently live there, she replied as calmly as possible. – What, you? Are you kidding me? You, there? » Chris let out a guffaw, whereas y/n was beginning to see red. « Not at all, precisely I escaped a freak who broke my heart into pieces. » She was looking askance at him. « I’m with Emily. In her aunt’s condo. Very nice place. – Well; and do you enjoy the city? » She forced a smile, struggling to contain herself. « I loved it, until I see you. – Obviously– » Chris didn’t have the time to finish his sentence, because this time y/n couldn’t contain herself longer and she exploded with rage. It was too much. She couldn’t stand his presence anymore. « Seriously, I can’t believe– I can’t believe that you fucking asshole are just standing in front of me! You’re supposed not to exist for me a-ny-more! FUCK Chris! I can’t believe… Talking to me as if nothing had happened! – Listen, y/n, I'm– – I’m just thinking now, we’d never had a real conversation about this! It was obviously better like that but let me– – y/n, there are actually people looking at us– – I DON’T GIVE A SHIT! she shouted at him. I DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT PEOPLE AROUND! I’m only there for a FUCKING YEAR! And you NEED to KNOW how I FELT when I FOUND OUT! » She paused, her lungs looking for oxygen. « I’d been crying and depressed for MONTHS, Christopher! Do you KNOW?? Do you REALIZE how I was THAT hurt??? How could you– I still don’t get it! With her on top of that!!! I LOVED you, I was fucking IN LOVE with you, and you SCREWED UP! You know what? YOU’RE SUCH A DICK. And I DON’T talk to DICKHEADS. Now, I’ll do as if I’d never seen you again! I’ve no more time to lose with you! I’ve other things to do right now! You don’t exist anymore! I’m going to leave before I hit you! Now take a walk! CLEAR OFF! I hope you’re happy with her! Have a nice life!! And don’t forget to say hello to your BITCH for me!!! » With that, she walked away, pushing him with her shoulder. Now she was striding off, wanting to be as far from him as possible. She was holding back her tears, even if it was something very hard. We could think that he had followed her. She thought Chris had followed her, although they hadn’t seen each other again since they had split up. As she walked, she could feel the wind caressing her face. But it actually prevented her from holding her tears back. So she stopped at the corner of the street, to breathe a little and to gather her wits.

SHAWN’S POV I had seen everything from across the street. Or almost everything. I was on my way back to home — I’d spent some time with friends — when I saw y/n with a guy. She seemed to know him, whereas she’d told me Emily and her knew nobody there. Someone from Uni maybe? No, probably not, almost impossible, they haven’t gone to classes yet. Or someone she met at the library? More possible, given that she’d told me that she had met Emily at this place. But whoever she was talking to, she didn’t seem to enjoy his company. I hadn’t heard what they were saying to each other — because obviously I was too far —, but she was definitely shouting at him, gesticulating, and looked very anger and mad. I’d never seen her like this before. I’d stopped when I’d recognized her. She had stopped in the street. I was wondering why even if I had some idea. Without thinking, I walked back, going up to her. As more and more I was coming closer, I slowed down, not wanting to scare her. She was still there. She hadn’t move. « y/n? » She started in surprise. « Oh, Shawn. That’s you. – Yah, of course, who else do you think it might be? » She was crying. No. No. No. « Him, she sobbed, a few seconds after. – Who? » She didn’t answer. She was trying not to cry even more, repressing all her sadness. I’d never seen her like this either before. She didn’t deserve that. She only deserved to r happy, smiling and cheerful as I usually knew her. Doesn’t besides everyone deserve to be happy? « I just… I just want to go home, she declared, choking her sobs. » I nodded and so we made our way back to our building. As she unlocked her door, I told her that I was just next door if she needed me or something else. « No please, just stay. Stay with me a bit. » I furrowed my brows a little, hesitant. « You’re su– – Please Shawn, she insisted. Come in. » I accepted at the end, but I still thought that she really needed to be alone and above all to calm down. I glanced around the living-room. The apartment looked pretty cosy. Not excessively furnished, so there was quite a few space. « Wanna drink something? she offered me but I declined kindly. » She then invited me to sit on the grey couch with her and I must admit that I didn’t know what to do exactly. I let her catch her breath, before trying to hold a conversation. « Is this okay? » She didn’t speak; she contented herself with nodding. « Who was this guy? Did he hurt you? I continued. » She shrugged her shoulders. It really broke my heart to see her that sad. She seemed hurt. A few seconds later, she placed her hands on her thighs, and she finally managed to speak. « It was him. – Who? – Him. Chris. My ex. » I frowned, confused. What was he doing there? « What? How come…? » She shrugged one more time, and she sighed. « I’m sorry if I– – No, she cut me off immediately. It’s not your fault. » I glanced at her hands, those little ones. Slowly I placed my right hand on her left one, holding it. I stroked the back of her hand, gently. « Hey. I’m here for you if you need to talk. Okay? » She approved, and she smiled at me weakly. Shortly afterwards she started talking, explaining to me her why her ex was in the city and her altercation with him. I let her talk, she really needed to get it off her chest. I was obviously hurt inside. Seeing her in this state hurt me. I just wanted her happy. I wanted to makeher happy. « It’s gonna be alright, eh? I questioned. – Yes, I’m trying to forget for the moment. » Then I asked her if she’d be at my home tonight for Canada Day and she confirmed. « I need to be tipsy. » This made me laugh then I smiled just to reassure her, and she did the same. Yes, finally. Her smile was brighter than the sun and I literally loved it. It made me happy. Now we were staring at each other deep in the eyes. I got lost in hers. They were absolutely splendid. She was. I really liked her. It’s crazy, how a person in particular could make you happy even if you knew them for less than a week. How a simple smile or a look could illuminate your day. How you could feel just because they’re just next to you. This feeling of well-being just because of someone. That was the way I felt.

BACK TO OMNISCIENT POV Shawn had just left y/n’s apartment and so she locked the door behind him. One more time, she had spent an amazing moment at his side. This boy was incredible. Both have known each other for only a few days and she already knew she could trust him. He was always here for her, she’ll never thank him enough for that. She hadn’t gone to the library as she had planned. So she made her way to her bedroom and took a book on a shelf, settled on her bed and she ended up by reading. An hour later, Emily was finally back to the condo, still ignoring that her best friend hadn’t actually reached the library and had passed Chris instead. « y/n? You’re home? » The latter joined her flatmate in the living-room. « You’re already back? Emily carried on. » Her friend disapproved, close to tears again. Emily noticed it right away and asked what happened, hugging her. « Chris is there. » Em faced her, put her hand on her own mouth, with widen eyes and a what? expression, and asked for explanations, leading her to the couch. For the second time in an hour, y/n told her everything about her meeting with her ex. « I can’t believe he’s here! the newcomer yelled, losing her temper, pacing up and down. It’s a real curse! I hope you gave him a rocket the way he deserves!!! This son of bitch! » The other nodded in agreement. Her friend tried to calm down. « I hope I’ll never pass him! Or I’ll hit him without hesitation! » y/n smiled sadly. « I passed Shawn as well, she replied then. – Ah uh? Again? Really, you attract both of them or? » She shrugged her shoulders, ignoring the answer to the question. « But he was here for me. He took me home. We talked. It was really good. – He’s always here, it’s incredible. – I know. He’s so… human… » Em noticed her sidekick’s expression on her face while she was talking about Shawn. She could almost see that there was a sparkle in her eye. Her eyes were talking contrary to her lips. « Hm… You like him, right? » y/n turned to look at her, frowning a little at her mate. « No. » The other exploded with laugh. « You liar. But never mind, I know you’ll never admit it. Enjoy. I’m glad you both are close and that you get on very well. » With that, she joined her room, leaving y/n on the living-room. The latter waited for Em to be completely in her room, before going up to the balcony. She needed some fresh air at the moment. Once she was there, she looked away, facing the usual view. She didn’t take her eyes off the buildings, until she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. She grabbed it, and saw, among the notifications from her social media, the text message she just received. Shawn Turn your head! She complied, turning her head to the right. Giving her a wave, from far, he was on his balcony as well, but for how long? He looked as if he was watching over her, and so she felt touched. She had a smile on her face, and he smiled back at her. They were admiring each other, even from far, more than the wonderful view in front of them.

The evening had come rapidly and both Emily and y/n were preparing themselves for going to their neighbor’s place. They knew that there were some of Shawn’s friends who were already arrived, because they had heard them coming. Emily couldn’t wait anymore to have fun and meet some other people, interacting with them, whilst her best friend was rather in the mood to think about alcohol this time. Ten minutes later, they were eventually ready and knocked at Shawn’s door. The latter opened it to them, and he smiled widely as soon as he saw his two young neighbors. « Hey! he greeted joyfully. Hi Em! Hello again, y/n. Come in! » They entered his apartment, where there were already a few people inside. « Look what we brought for the night, y/n said to him, holding a small box out to him. I hope you guys like these. » So he took it, opened it and his face broke into a grin when he realized what it was. « Caramels! he exclaimed. Thank you! You shouldn’t have! – Yah I know this might be weird, but Em and myself are suckers for those candies, there are probably the best thing that the world know, and it makes me feel better to be honest. » He glanced at her, his gaze meeting hers. « Is it okay? – Yes. I feel better, thanks for asking. » Then y/n couldn’t help staring at his shirt. His red shirt. « It's… original, she said. I love it. Good choice. » He chuckled, before thanking her. Then he introduced his two neighbors to his friends, who seemed very nice in their eyes. « Happy Canada Day, y'all! Emily cried. And nice to meet each one of you. » They were having fun right now, and everyone seemed to like the caramels Em and y/n had brought. They had gone on the terrace, taking pictures and contemplating the luminous CN Tower in front of them. They were just proud to be Canadian and to belong to this country, this night so was the opportunity to celebrate the day devoted to it. Hours later, they’d come back into the apartment, music playing, still eating and drinking and dancing and more. As y/n was chewing her umpteenth caramel, beer in the hand, her flatmate, with her beer too, came to her. « All’s right? » She just nodded by way of answer. Several feet away, Shawn was staring at them while drinking some beer and he winked his eye at them. As she noticed it, y/n moved her head from left to right out of despair, with a weak smile. Next Emily left her, and the moment she did, he came closer to y/n. « Having fun? he asked her, standing next to her. » She approved with a hum, glancing at her bestie who apparently had a good talk with one of Shawn’s friends. « ‘think she’ll be on the floor before the end of the night, she commented. As usual. » The others were coming back to the huge terrace, Emily including, so both Shawn and y/n followed, going past the caramels scattered on the table. « Did you taste them? she asked him, pointing the candies with her chin. – Well, don’t hate me, but actually not yet. » She pouted, and stopped him. « ‘kay, you will, in front of me. Wait. » She walked a few steps, reaching the table and grabbed two caramels. She removed the wrapper from one, and took the candy between her thumb and her forefinger, placing it just in front of the boy’s eyes. « Open your mouth now, she demanded. » He complied without hesitation. So she brought the caramel closer to his mouth, and he took it between his teeth, and she removed her fingers. « You’re such a greedy pig, she said as he chewed. » He shrugged his shoulders, still chewing. « That’s fucking good! he declared. » A smile played across y/n’s lips, so he grinned back at her, getting himself lost in her eyes. These hazel eyes he had already seen numerous times. Then she went back on the terrace with the others when she joined her best friend, who was still deep in conversation with the same guy. So she joined the talk as well, while glancing over at the skyline just in front of them. Much later, hours after, everyone was on their way back to their home. It was such a good night and the two flatmates really had fun. The girls were going up to their respective rooms, when y/n stopped, sitting on her bed. « Fuck, we forgot the box. » Emily got changed, and was now already lying on her bed, whilst her friend met her in her room. « Dude, we forgot the box. – Hm? It’s just a box, y/n, the other retorted. We don’t care, you’ll take it tomorrow. It’s very late now. Let’s sleep, I’m tired. – Yah you should sleep. You’ve drunk quite a lot of beer and stuff. » Em saw her bestie leaving, but not to her bedroom. « Where are you going? – Getting back the box now, because I know I’ll forget otherwise, y/n justified. This is my box furthermore. I’m coming back, it’s just next door, I’ll be prompt. Good night, Em. » But the latter didn’t reply, consequently y/n assumed that she just fell asleep right away. She then passed her doorstep, locking the door behind her, reached her neighbor’s one and knocked. He answered the door about ten seconds after, and he didn’t look surprise to see her. « I was pretty sure you’d come back, he declared. » He invited her to come in. He grabbed the small box which was still on the table, and held it out to her. « Thank you. I hope you kept the last caramels. » He just sent a little smile to her by way of answer, and nodded in agreement. « It was an amazing party and your friends are nice. Thank you again. – Glad you enjoyed. » Then the young girl noticed that he wasn’t about to go to bed. « You’re cleaning, right? Want me to help? – No, thanks, no need. You should sleep, it’s late. » But she refused categorically. « As well you should. It will go faster together. – It won’t be so long, so you should let me do it. But if you insist. » With that, y/n helped him to clean up the living-room, putting the stuff away and putting the room and the terrace in order. Nearly fifteen minutes later, everything was finally clean. It was as if nothing had happened there. Shawn and y/n were facing each other now, on the large terrace that they had cleaned at last, being about to say goodbye. « Thanks for your help, y/n. – No problem. Just a small gesture because you were here for me this afternoon. » The young boy smirked, looking down and remembered the day. « Ah yes. I find this natural though. » Then he raised his head, allowing him to look at his neighbor in the eyes. He honestly could stare at her like that for hours. He would never grow tired of admiring her this way. Same for her; she was getting lost in his eyes. These eyes which were staring at hers. He showed a real baby face this time. This same time, he couldn’t wait anymore. He couldn’t contain himself anymore. Slowly, his face came closer to hers, him gazing at her lips quickly. He became too close. He had never been so close to her face before this moment. Step by step, he could see each detail, each feature of her soft skin, even through the night. Then it finally happened. His lips were moving with hers. They were really soft and tasted like alcohol obviously, due to tonight. Still slowly, he placed his hands on her flushed cheeks, then went down and found her forearms as she grabbed his shoulders. A few seconds after, he broke the contact and stared at her deep in the eyes again. « Fuck, I’ve been waiting for this, he whispered as their noses were brushing. » He smiled against her pinky lips. « I thought I was the only one who felt this way, she confessed. » With these words, he sent a little smile to her; he didn’t hesitate anymore and crashed his lips against hers one more time. Their tongues were dancing together for awhile, still slowly. Then Shawn’s hand found y/n’s nape and he stroked it gently. She broke the kiss, and looked down, breathing. He placed his forehead on hers, while their noses were still brushing. « I ought to go now, she murmured. » Shawn shook his head by way of disapproval. « No, no, stay. – But yourself you just said earli– – Fuck what I said, he cut her off, forget that. I just want to be with you, I need you. » She could feel his breath against her lips. Forehead against forehead, noses brushing, he was still stroking her cheek delicately; she closed her eyes, collecting her wits. « Don’t leave. Stay with me, he begged her. Please. » She was hesitant about this. But she finally gave in and contented herself with kissing him again. Next she led him inside his own flat before he shut the picture window behind them. He gently pressed her against the wall, starting kissing her neck as she threw her head back a little. As he moved to the other side of her neck then to her collarbones, she found the hem of his shirt to pull him closer. He kissed her lips again, lingering on them, and right away his large hands reached her hips, gliding under her sleeveless tshirt. It was tickling her, but she really loved his touch. Likewise, her hands pushed his shirt up a bit, and they glided on his back. He whimpered weakly against her mouth and then he broke the kiss, both catching their breath. Next y/n planted a soft kiss on his lips, her hands still underneath his shirt. « We should sleep, it’s late, she reminded him. » He shrugged his shoulders, and he brushed his lips against hers. « I don’t want to, he said, pulling her closer. » She didn’t insist; she just closed the tiny gap between their mouths again. Shawn removed his hands from her hips, making her growl a little. And then he started unbuttoning his shirt, exposing his chest to her, and this sent a chill down y/n’s spine. She laid her hands on it; she could feel his heartbeat. His heart was beating wildly. Then they moved to his shoulders, and let the red shirt fall on the floor. Next they trailed down his back, gently rubbing it, as the two neighbors continued to kiss one another. Shawn kept rubbing her naked sides; then he grabbed the hem of her top and within three seconds he pushed it up and removed it, dropping it on the floor. Straight in he kissed her bare shoulders, her collarbones, the crook of her neck. « Come with me, he whispered and she understood as soon as he spoke. » He gripped her thighs firmly, enabling her to wrap her legs around his waist and she ran her fingers through his brown curls. He carried her to his bedroom, still planting some kisses on her face. When they finally reached the room, he shut the door behind them with the aid of his foot.

Y/N’S POV I just woke up. My vision was blurry, therefore I rubbed my eyes to enable me to see properly. I could see the daylight whose beams were going through the window. Actually I couldn’t move a lot right now. Indeed, I was stuck in Shawn’s arms which were wrapping me tightly. He was still asleep, resting next to me, and I could hear some weak snores and sleepy hum slipping out of his mouth. His nose was brushing the crook of my neck, and so I could feel his breath against my skin. I could nevertheless grab my phone which was put down on the nightstand. I had a look at the time, raising my head a bit, and I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head. Half past ten. « What, already? I murmured to myself. » I then noticed three text messages. From Em. Em Where are you? Em Ah no. I know where you are. 🤔 Em Hope you slept well tho. Count on you to tell me… So obviously she knew what I did. What we did. I rolled my eyes and I didn’t answer the messages, I just put my phone down again, and I rested my head on the pillow. At the moment, I felt Shawn moving, what freed me — finally — from his embrace. « Hmmm… he mumbled in his sleep as he freed me totally, and he was facing away from me now. » I lay on my back and I glanced at him. Or rather at his bare back. As muscular as it might be. I came closer to him, wrapping my left arm around his naked chest. I brushed my nose against his back, and I planted like two or three kisses on it including one for his birthmark on his shoulder. Since he was still sleeping, I closed my eyes again, inhaling his scent deeply. And then I remembered this night. Ours. His body against mine, underneath the fine sheets, kissing every inch of me. I could still hear the moans and the gasps that had rung out in the room. I could still feel his warm exhalations brushing my skin. I still had chills. Incredible. I opened my eyes when I felt Shawn moving and turning around, therefore I removed my arm from him. He was now lying on his stomach, facing me, and I stared at him lovingly. He was so cute while sleeping. He looked so angelic. « Hmmm… he grumbled again. What the fuck—What time is it? he asked with his hoarse morning voice, eyes still closed. – Ten forty-six, I replied. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. And I should already be at my home to be honest. » Shawn rubbed his eyes, opening them step by step, and cleared his throat. Then he gazed at me. « Relax, y/n, it’s Sunday right now! C'mon. » I came closer to him. My nose touched lightly his, and he planted a sweet kiss on my lips while holding me in his arms. « Thank you, he breathed. – For what? » He chuckled and smirked, as if my question was stupid — and obviously it was — and that I should have known the answer. « For… for staying. » I just smiled weakly at him. He maybe had just woken up but he was already looking at me with puppy eyes. Fuck. My hand found his scalp and so I ran my fingers through his rumpled hair. He closed his eyes again, enjoying the touch, and I kissed his forehead. He purred like a little kitten and this was probably one of the cutest things I’d ever seen. Then I stopped and he grunted, pouting. « I should go, if Emily ever came and knocked at your door because she knows I’m here– – No, she wouldn't…? – Oh yes she would. Obviously you don’t know her as much as I do. » Shawn hummed next to me, letting his face sinking into his pillow. I got on his back to lay on it, burying my face into the crook of his neck. I then let my fingers wandering his curls. He turned his head towards me, grinning a little and he kissed the tip of my nose. « You really have to go now? Don’t you want to eat something before? » I shook my head no. « I’m not very hungry. I’ll find something at my place quickly. Thank you though. » I managed though to fetch my bra which was still on the floor, and to sit down on the edge of the bed, to put it on. Then I looked around for my shirt, but I remembered that it was still in the living-room, and I sighed loudly at the thought. « Is there a prob? inquired Shawn behind me; I glanced over at him and he was now lying on his back. – No. Just my top which is actually on the other side. » He couldn’t help laughing and smirking after I said this. « Don’t mock at me, you dork, that’s your own fault. » He sat up straight away on the bed and opened his mouth in a o with amazement, just to protest. « It’s not! he denied, about to laugh nevertheless. » I turned my head to look at him and I smirked back. He got closer to me, and he removed my hair from my nape and kissed it, nuzzling my neck gently. Then he took my hand and he intertwined our fingers. « When will I see you again? – That is to say? » He sighed weakly, still stroking my knuckles. « I would really appreciate another date with you, before going back on tour, he whispered in my ear. » I grinned at his speech, but my smile faded when I realized that it will be certainly long. « When will you be back? I asked. – In one month. But just temporarily. » I shook my head a little. « I’ll miss you, I murmured. I’ll miss my favourite neighbor. – So I’m just a neighbor to you? he said to me, holding me tightly, but he perfectly knew I was joking. – That’s not what you are? – In addition, yeah. » I smiled again, looking at our hands. « I’ll miss you too, y/n, he confessed. » We’d been staying like this for almost three good minutes, before I decided to finally get up even if it was hard. I found my pants on the floor and I put it on. Shawn followed me then. When we reached the living-room, I immediately saw my shirt that was still on the floor. I quickened my pace to take it, and I finally slipped it on me. Likewise Shawn put his hands on his red shirt again. Then he came to me, buttoning it. I took over and I buttoned the two last bottom buttons. « So, he started to say, taking my hands in his, what are your plans for today? – Hmmm, I thought, I have to tidy my room and reorganize it, watching some stupid movies with Em while eating popcorn… and I guess I must listen to my neighbor’s songs because apparently it’s worth it. » He smirked as I mentioned him, looking at the ground; then lifted his head towards me. « Good, you’ll love it! » I nodded in agreement. « What about you? I asked back. – Nothing much, just seeing some friends and probably continuing to settle my flat. And writing some lyrics of course. » I smiled at the idea. Next he moved our hands closer to his mouth and he kissed mine. « See you later? » I answered with a nod again, and he freed my hands. I was going up to the door when he called my name. I turned around straight in. « Don’t forget your box. » He held it out to me, and I took it. « Thank you. See ya later! I’m just next door, I reminded him just in case. » He did nothing but approving. With that, I opened the door; Shawn followed me as I passed his doorstep. I sent a last smile to him before he shut the door behind me.

A/N: Tagging @illumendes because… because. Also I haven’t reread the whole so lmk if there are mistakes, typos and stuff. I’m sorry lmao. Once again, feedback is always appreciated but in any case, thanks for reading! ‹333

[imaginedilestrade]

Your stories absolutely make my day! 😊 ILOVED an English Blizzard soo much! I was just wondering if I could ask for a one shot where reader tells her friends who the mystery boyfriend is. With maybe a little naughty bits here and there too. 😊

A/N: Ahhh I never thought of them finding out! And thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed ‘An English Blizzard’ and I hope you enjoy this! Some NSFW themes but nothing too graphic.

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“I have to get back to the flat…” you drawled out and tried to pull your hand out of Greg’s grip “Someone’s got to keep an eye on it and I haven’t been back for a few days.”

“Alright,” Greg pouted.

You playfully rolled your eyes and pecked his lips “You know…everyone’s back home for winter break.” Your suggestive smirk made Greg’s eyebrows shoot up “You could come back with me with Cooper and we can hang out on the couch and watch Christmas movies and kiss the day away…” you trailed off.

“Hmm how much kissing would be involved?” He asked with a small smirk.

You nonchalantly shrugged “If you came back with me you’d find out.” Greg quickly stood up and wrapped his arms around you, spinning you around on the spot and you filled his house with the sound of your laughter.

“Well lets go!”

—

Greg took an overnight bag with him to stay the night as well as Coopers things. You constantly teased Greg that you were more excited about Cooper staying over than him.

“You know I’m only joking…” you trailed off and Greg rolled his eyes. You turned to the dog and mouthed 'no I’m not’ to him with a smile.

“I saw that!”

Your mouth made an 'O’ shape before turning into a smile “D'aww I’m sorry.” Greg parked beside your apartment block and turned to you with a pout on his face you bit down on your lip and reached your hand out, placing it on the back of his neck and pulling him in for a long kiss.

“We haven’t even made it to your flat yet…” Greg mumbled against your lips.

You pulled back with tingling lips “I couldn’t wait, but let’s go. I have a mountain of DVDs to watch with you.”

You took Cooper’s leash and Greg took his bag. You both walked up to your flat hand in hand…Greg’s would occasionally 'slip out’ of yours and 'accidentally’ land on your bum.

As soon as you opened the door his mouth crashed against yours and you let go of Coopers leash, allowing him to run around the flat freely, although he ended up on Sherlocks bed and falling asleep. You moaned against Greg’s lips and the vibrations sent chills up his spine. You walked backwards as Greg lead you to the couch where you both landed with a small thud.

Greg was quick to put his large hands under your top and roam them teasingly over your skin, he’d sneakily tempt you by brushing his fingers over your bra, making you think he’d slip his whole hand in and drive you into bliss but he moved his hand away with a sly smile “Greg…” you whined his name.

“What?” He asked before licking his lips that were still pressed to your mouth, making your tongues collide for a millisecond.

“Don’t be such a tease…professor” you knew calling him that would drive him insane. It worked wonders and he practically ripped off your bra with a growl. You slowly stripped off your jumper and Greg let out a whimper seeing so much exposed skin “Like what you see Professor Lestrade?”

“I really do…” he moaned and kissed down the valley between your breasts “And I really love it when you call me professor…”

“You’re really into this professor kink aren’t you?” you let out a snort of laughter. Greg looked up and narrowed his eyes at you “Don’t worry, I am too…” you winked and Greg smiled widely before pouncing at you one again and moulding his lips perfectly against yours.

“We’re home!” You froze hearing Mary’s voice echoing through the flat. You pushed Greg off you and he fell to the floor. You quickly put on your jumper and peeked your head over the couch.

“Wh-what are you doing back so soon?!” You struggled to breathe due to Greg’s kisses and sheer shock of seeing your friends home.

Mary didn’t answer your question but instead gasped with a large smile on her face “Are you with…him? Did we disturb you and your 'fancy man’”

Cooper barked and ran out of Sherlocks room, tackling him to the ground “You got a dog while we were away?” He asked, bewildered.

“N-no that’s-”

“That’s my dog…” you turned your head around and watched Greg slowly standing up.

Mary, John, Sherlock and Molly’s jaws dropped in shock, you felt your face burn and your stomach sink.

“He’s your boyfriend?!” Mary screamed out. You turned to face them and slowly nodded “Isn’t that against a rule or something?”

“No it’s not we checked everything out before we started dating.” You told her yet the look of shock still remained on their faces.

“I can’t believe you’ve been shagging Mary’s professor!” John eventually laughed and was bent over clutching his stomach.

Yours and Greg’s cheeks were stained a bright red colour and you awkwardly cleared your throat. Sherlock eventually giggled too “By the looks of things Y/N was just about to get her PHD…her professors hard dic-”

“Alright Sherlock!” You screamed out to cut Sherlock off “We get you! And he’s not my professor he is just a professor at uni!”

The tall curly hair brunette laughed with John and even Molly stifled a laugh. You let out a long groan “We’re going out.” You grabbed Greg’s hand and dragged him out the flat, grabbing Cooper on the way out.

“We’re happy for you!” You heard Mary shout and smiled to yourself before heading out to Greg’s car, instantly being hit by the cold.

You heard Greg laugh and looked at him with a raised brow “What?”

“You finding it cold…?” He suggestively trailed off and looked down to your chest. You followed his gaze and let out a gasp, folding your arms over your chest.

“Please don’t look,” you told him and handed Cooper over to him. Greg smiled and leaned forward, crashing his lips to yours.

You pulled away hearing cheers coming from your living room window and looked up to see Mary, John, Molly and Sherlock all cheering you and Greg. You turned to him with a shy smile.

“I think your friends approve…” Greg smirked before kissing you again.

[bedfordrambles]

thursday

Weekend afternoons became somewhat of a vice between you and George.

Thursdays were spent in the flat with him and Matty - afternoons built on weed and Mortal Kombat and Chinese food. Nights often ended in George’s bed - soundtracked to records from George’s collection, ones you weren’t familiar with, ones that George insisted were crucial staples in music history. Time passed through different activities. Sometimes there were heated kisses, sometimes lazy touches where mouths found new places to draw soft sounds, sometimes simply conversation until one of you fell asleep.

Fridays were rushed mornings and burnt toast and maybe promises of seeing each other later.

Today was one of the Fridays that the promises held up. Grey - cloud heavy skies, sparse raindrops. Uni. Fingers - rooting through your bag, spare change for the bus when a car horn breaks thoughts. The Mustang. George’s Mustang.

A half forgotten promise - weeks ago, a Thursday night in the flat, Joy Ride on the telly. Now - a mostly abandoned stretch of road on the outskirts of town. George knows it’s there from one of Matty’s long ago flings, she lived nearby. Their first ever song was written about her, her namesake. And you tell him you remember, of course you remember. Penelope.

The thrill of doing something you shouldn’t - hot, spiraling through your veins, accelerating heart beats. Attaining an octave at every inch the speedometer gains. Breaths come out fast and hard in laughs or not at all - when George takes sharp corners - rubber squeaking against the ground. Soundtracked to loud laughs, brash cackles, excited squeals.

Adrenaline pumping hard and fast. Windows - down, spring air warm despite it hits like ice, strands of hair ripped from hair ties, your eyes, mouth. Maybe it’s your shouts of delirium, elation are the only reason he needs to push it further, or maybe it’s to keep up with the high spiraling through his veins, knocking through nerve endings. Reckless - you both now, dangerous - at best but the feeling is enough to justify. Alive, lethal.

A growl - the engine revving sounding almost impatient, George having brought it to a stop for too long. Salt & Vinegar crisps, Dr Pepper and shared fags. Kanye - the radio. Seatbelts off - and you’ve turned to face him, legs draped over his lap. Giggles - echoing, heartbeats still struggling to settle, heads still light. Crisps - aiming for his mouth, not exactly working out, but he keeps telling you try one more, eventually ending up smacking the back of his head off the window.

Giggles only growing louder at that, between muffled curses. Fading - but starting up as quickly as they stopped when you catch his eye. He doesn’t help stop them - only grabbing a hold of your legs, fingers tickling your thighs. Ensuing in shrieks of laughter, legs kicking in vain attempts to escape, no refuge in the cramped car.

“G,” when everythings died down, adrenaline fizzling out - something you’re craving more of. His phone, texting, biting his nails - furrowed brow turning to a toothy grin. “Give’s ago?” - you ask, nodding to the steering wheel, already knowing what the answer will be. Eyes - following yours before flickering back with a chuckle. Deep, rasped - “absolutely not, love.”

A pout - mock petulance, he shakes his head, an amused grin. “Let me teach you how to bloody drive first, then maybe..”

A pause, eyes flickering, a smirk - “Actually maybe we’ll use Matty’s van for that.”

You - a huff, telling him to fuck off, only earning more chuckles in response and an, “I love you, babe - but not enough to let you wreck my car. Wanna go again?”

And you nod, despite yourself - buckling back up your seatbelt while telling him he really can be a fucking dickhead at times. Leaning over - a sloppy kiss to your cheek, something you vehemently deny. Giggles echo anyhow.

Only beginning to build up speed, switching gears - the familiar rush beginning to flip in your stomach, beat against your chest when there’s a sudden buzzing, ringing. George’s phone.

Curses - under his breath, slowing down. Phone - from his jeans pockets, an apologetic look before cursing once again when he looks at the caller ID.

“Adam, mate - told you I’m busy, have Matty sort it out, yeah?”

A pause - grunts of disagreement and a breath of, ‘fucking idiot’, listening to whatever Adam is saying. Jaw - clenching when he tries to cut in with, ‘but’s’ and ‘can’t’s’. Sighing - head falling back against the headrest, “Fuck sake, fine fine, I’ll sort it - but after that I’m officially off the fucking grid for the night. I have... arrangements.”

Brown - a glance over at you, before his brow creases -  “What? No - well yes.. oh piss off, she has a name.. No that’s not it, fucking hell is Matty there?”

A few more grumbles, sighs - hanging up, tyres screeching with a hard U turn, back in direction of the main road. Telling you that that was Adam, some guy at the pub needs some gear, he has to shift it.  Apologies - for dragging you into this, he tried his best not to. Adam - busy picking up, Ross out of town for his birthday, and Matty can’t be seen dealing at the minute because he owes money.  Reiterating his earlier point - “fucking twat,” and “they keep calling you fit uni girl, soz about that..”

Rambling - you’re not really listening all that much at this stage. Too caught up in a new kind of thrill - tingling through your blood, sparking. A new kind of danger, risk - resonating through his words. The sudden excitement of joyriding - if you could call it that on a good enough as abandoned stretch of road - was overtaken by the idea of it all. 

You weren’t stupid, or completely oblivious to the fact George and his inner circle of friends - particularly Matty, dabbled in dealing. Now - the idea of messing around with a borderline drug dealer, was becoming quite the reality. 

An idea that turned you on a bit more than you’d care to admit. 

His lips - mirror the curve of yours, when he asks what you’re smirking at. You don’t hesitate to tell him - that this whole thing was quite naughty, sexy even. The chances that he, they could very well get caught only made it a bit more wild, pretty badass. An unexplained electricity, adrenaline building. 

It’s obvious your confession has effects on George. Ego - rising, boosting a bit, and he can’t help but think maybe this was such a bad idea after all. Maybe Hann’s call had been somewhat of a blessing, the kind where he was almost certain the night would end with him definitely not being alone in bed, and definitely not being the only one naked between sheets.  To be blunt about it - Hann’s call had given him a 90% guarantee of getting laid tonight. With a girl he was very much infatuated with. Not bad at all. 

Pressing down on the gas a bit harder once you’re on the way back to town - unintentional, more so on purpose. Excitement - rushing, hearts stuttering. Unknowingly - surpassing the speed limit, gaze shifting to drift over you or a second. Lip - caught between your teeth, pupils blown out. Quiet - exhilaration filtering through the air. George - hand, slipping off the gear shift, finding your thigh. Fingers - squeezing, heat sparking. 

Minute by minute - fingers inching higher, hot against skin. Breath - short, a lack of air, the car.  A new kind of high. 

One that escalates - sirens sounding somewhere behind, car closing in. Police. 

A jumble of breathy curses - eyes flickering up to his rearview mirror, clenched jaw. His thoughts spiral, tumble ahead to the baggy in his jeans, the arsehole behind him finding it - and the seriesi of unfortunate events that would occur after that. Cursing Hann, fucking Matty. Sweaty palms. 

Pulling over - a new kind of tension, asking him where it was. Half sigh, half grumble - his trousers, pocket. Hand - rubbing over his face, through his hair - and you vaguely catch mumbles about being done for.  

Exhilaration - still tingling through your senses, and maybe it’s the thump of adrenaline rushing through you - that guides your hand. And before George can gather his thoughts enough to ask what you’re doing, fingers slip into his pocket, blinking in disbelievement at the flash of the baggy, disappearing under your skirt. Your idea of a prime hiding space. Mouth - still slightly ajar, two policemen appearing at the window. 

It’s the usual routine - asking if he knew why they pulled him over, by how much he was over the speed limit, all that. Reckless. Only beginning to gain his confidence back, kicking the shock of you helping him. All cocky smirks, snide comments - ego rebuilding, recalling your earlier words about the chances of being caught. 

Attitude - proving to be a problem, probably not the best way to go, deal with it. Eyes - watching in the wing mirror when he’s asked to step out of the car. Focused on him - the gravel in his voice saying this a well waste of time, how he has a head in height over them, his hair starting to get longer again. Deep brown - catching your eye in the mirror, a wink, and you roll your eyes but can’t bite back a smirk. Heart still thudding - head light with the idea that you both are on the verge of getting away with this. 

Fingers - tugging, the hem of your skirt down further, George reapproaching. Finding nothing on him - a half full pack of Parliaments, chewing gum, spare change. Heavy warnings of fines, penalty points the next time - ringing in his ears. But not loud enough to kill of the buzz filtering through his veins. 

You - leaning forward, peering around George, the cop hovering by his window. A bright smile - asking if they needed to check you too, politely. George - suddenly growing very interested in his Parliaments pack, eyes staying down, but you don’t miss the amused smirk, the cough covering up a giggle.

A new set of eyes - glancing over you, a gruff, “No, you’re alright, love.”

Silence, electricity still buzzing between bodies - George, driving, under the speed limit this time. Although he had been going exaggerating under the limit for the few minutes the police car had followed, only leaving you to giggle and them to grow undoubtedly increasingly aggravated. You’re only half surprised they didn’t pull him over again.

Eventually - his hand, your thigh again. “Y’know, you didn’t have to hide that for me, babe.”

And you arch a brow - because yeah you kinda did, or he’d be well fucked, but he shushes you, knowing your expressions before you speak out.

“I don’t need you getting caught up in my messes. I’m to look after you and all that, not the opposite.” - glancing over at you, a sigh. “But thank you, you having my back tonight was most helpful, my lifesaver.” 

Overpitched, dramatic - causing an echo of giggles, laughs. Expelling pent up tension, adrenaline. 

Until - his fingers, a squeeze on your thigh. “You know I’ve still got to shift this gear, yeah?” 

Lips curving - your legs parting, fingertips trailing higher, and you give him an expectant look. One that dares him to get it himself. So he does. 

Fingers - dipping into silky material, grasping around the baggy, brushing against skin. And you ask - with a teasing sort of lithe, what you’re to do with him, after him very nearly getting you both into serious trouble. 

Watching - his lips curving into a smirk that’s quickly becoming your favourite, licking his lips. Fingers - lingering in your underwear for a breath or two longer, before slowly sliding out. 

“I could think of a few things.” 

[spectrekalenko]

Let Me Live - Chapter 3

Sorry for the delay in updating, uni work is so full on right now. I was so sick of doing it so I thought I'd slip another chapter in. The next one wont be for two weeks at least but I hope this tides you over until then!

This feels a bit of a rushed and fast paced chapter which I'm not happy about, but I wrote it in one sitting. This fic will also only be short anyway, but enjoy, and let me know what you think :)

Warnings for some talk about injuries and blood.

Read the whole thing on AO3

In the week that followed your night with Hanzo, you had berated yourself endlessly.

It had been stupid to invite an unknown man back to your place. You may have spent a couple of hours together beforehand, but the man carried around a bow and arrow for crying out loud. If he wasn’t dangerous, he was living in some delusion he was some type of Robin Hood.

Yet, every time you got a text from him, all doubts were forgotten and that warm feeling would bloom in your chest, along with a grin on your face. The texts were far apart and you only received a couple of day, but it was enough to keep your interest in him. He usually asked how your day was and wanted to know what you did, while keeping the answers light about his own affairs. His texts were very formal – full sentences, full stops, no slang, the works. Although he had admitted he found your use of emoji’s ‘endearing’ and that he was ‘highly amused by them’. He spoke often about visiting again but couldn’t make a solid plan – but soon, he promised, soon. But the time alone with your own thoughts, when you weren’t at work or cleaning the house for the fifth time that week, put doubts into your mind like little needles. He’s making excuses because he just wants to seem polite, he’s building up to let you down gently, you were just a one-night stand, he probably has a wife and kids somewhere.

However, these thoughts couldn’t stop the warmth that came with a text from him, or the ache in your core that your hand just wasn’t enough to satisfy anymore when you thought of his body. You were in deep for no good reason at all. So you tried your best to distract yourself – you worked harder, cleaned the house for a sixth time, even started to go on runs. In the end, it was all for nothing. Your handsome archer was constantly in your thoughts, and any time idle was spent daydreaming about him.

A week or so after that night you were sat reading when you got a text.

Hanzo: I saw this and thought of you. Of us.

Attached was a picture and when you opened it, you couldn’t help but laugh. The angle was off and it was shaky, but he’d obviously seen it in some piercing shop window somewhere. It was a poster that read “Come on in, we don’t bite… and bring a friend if you don’t believe us!”. Hanzo kept surprising you, for such a solemn face there was a special brand of humour hidden in there. You went back to his text. Of us. You felt like a giddy teenager as you replied.

You: I love it! It made me laugh :D

The reply was almost instant.

Hanzo: I am glad. (:

The text seemed to repel the doubts that lingered at the back of your mind and you relaxed, really relaxed, as you settled in for a quiet evening.

It was quiet until you were woken from your sleep by a pounding at your door. Stirring instantly you jolted up, heart racing from a mixture of fear and tiredness. What was going on? You checked your phone and the time was 2:41am. You hesitated, thinking you might of imagined the noise. A few seconds trickled by before the noise started up again, making you jump.

You slipped out of bed and silently sauntered into the kitchen, the light from your phone the only thing stopped you from falling and stumbling. On your way through the kitchen, you picked up a knife, trembling slightly. You had never hurt anyone before – was someone here to hurt you? You put in 911 on your phone and hovered your thumb over the call button, as you stood by the door. When the pounding stopped, you spoke.

“Who is it?” You tried to make yourself sound firm and disapproving, but your voice was shaky and thick with sleep. Your eyes widened when you heard the voice at the other side call your name.

“I-It’s Hanzo, please… Open the door,” he groaned and you flung the door open. He was standing before you, head bowed and a hand wrapped around himself gripping his side. The other hand was supporting himself on the door frame and he was soaking from the rain.

“Hanzo, what… What are you doing here?” You had to calm yourself with a deep breath before your words came out at full volume. He raised his head and you let out a hiss through your teeth in shock. The skin around his left eye was darkening, and the slight swell made it apparent by morning he would have a full-on black eye. His lip was bust, and his left cheek was discoloured by the start of a nasty looking bruise. Your eyes darted down to where his hand held his side and he shifted his fingers, drawing your attention to the sticky red on them.

“Fuck,” was all you could think to say as you placed the knife down on a nearby table and held out your arm for him. He took it and leaned his weight onto you and you both groaned, him in pain and you with effort. You both managed to get to the couch where Hanzo practically fell down with a rough growl. You reached for your phone. “I’ll call on ambulance- “

“No!” Hanzo half-shouted and he winced as he sat upright. “Please, no. I’ll be fine I promise; I just need some bandages. Please, I can’t go to the hospital…” You looked at him while you considered his request. His eyes were almost pleading with you, and he looked desperate.

“Why?” His face dropped and you could almost see his mind turning trying to find an explanation – an explanation to cover up the real reason with how long he was talking, you guessed. He opened his mouth several times as if to speak, but words failed him. You sighed in defeat. “Okay. Let me see what I have lying around”.

His face lit up and he thanked you as you went to the bathroom and recovered as much as you had – some bandages, a few plasters, and some antibacterial wipes. It would have to do. When you returned to him he had already struggled out of his coat, breathing heavily. He wore an olive green t-shirt underneath, stained with a significant amount of blood on his lower left side. You grimaced. “You do know I’m not a doctor, right? I have no idea what I’m doing”. He managed a weak smile up at you and your irritation lessened.

“I am sure we will manage. I’ve dealt with similar before”. His eyes widened as you frowned, and you guessed he had just revealed more about himself than intended. You chose to ignore it, for now.

“Okay…” You murmured as you set yourself down on the sofa next to him, laying out your equipment in-between the two of you. “Shirt off”. He raised an eyebrow at your commanding tone and grinned, before wincing at his sore lip that stopped him from making any sort of remark. He slowly shifted himself to sit upright and slowly peeled the cloth from himself, a string of swears coming from his mouth as it stuck slightly to his wound. You swore yourself when you saw it in all its glory. It was a gash in his side, a long line that was an angry red with darkening red blood around it. Although you were no expert, it didn’t look too deep, and a good covering and some rest looked as if it might suffice for the time being. You considered the items splayed around you and picked up the antibacterial wipes, figuring it was a good start. Hanzo eyed you warily as you leaned in and as you started cleaning the wound he tensed, hissing out air through his teeth, his muscles clenching and unclenching, shifting the skin around the wound and increasing the pain. You were soon done however, and got to work covering the line with some bandages. You leaned back, admiring your handiwork.

“I thought you said you weren’t a doctor? That’s quite good handiwork for a novice,” the low voice brought you out of your daze and you glared at him, which seemingly only added to his amusement.

“I’m not, and I still think you would be better off in a hospital. With professionals,” you added, trying to sound as strict as possible. He let out a breathy chuckle.

“You’re right, but those professionals wouldn’t look as good as you if you wore a nurse’s outfit”.

You spluttered and felt heat rise to your cheeks at his sudden flirty outburst. It was a bold move, especially from Hanzo, and you tried to frown even more. “Save your flirting for when you’re not bleeding all over my couch at 3 in the morning, okay?” He had the good grace to return his usually somber state then, nodding. You got to your knees on the sofa and picked up another wipe, getting ready to tackle his face. Not a lot you could do here, apart from clean it up and let mother nature take its course to heal. You leaned in and gently wiped down his cheek and around his eyes, apologising quietly every time he winced. You then moved your attention to his lip, and to cleaning the blood on that. You put on hand under his chin, your thumb gripping it to keep him still. You worked slowly and with a lot of focus as you cleaned him up, and it was only after you finished you realised he was staring intently at you. You frowned slightly, a blush colouring your cheeks as you went to moved back. A hand around your middle quickly stopped that.

“What?” You asked out of embarrassment as he brought you back closer, his head just above your chest as he looked up at you. He reached up and brushed some of your hair out of your face.

“You look so beautiful when you are concentrating,” he murmured, and leaned in to press light kisses to the column of your throat, mumbling his thanks. A pleased sigh left your lips before something snapped in you and you gently pushed him back with a hand on his shoulder, shuffling backwards to look at him on his level.

“Hanzo, I can’t, you’re injured and I- God, I- “you don’t know what came over you at that point, whether it was tiredness or the shock of the situation or both, but before you knew what was going on hot tears were rolling down your face and you were choking on your words. “You’re injured! You just t-turned up here injured and you won’t even tell m-me how it happened! What if it had been worse, what i-if your injury had been worse and you just d- “. You had to stop yourself before you broke out into full on sobbing. You rose from the sofa and started pacing, a hand covering your mouth and an arm wrapped yourself as if you were trying to hold yourself together. You glanced over at him and your composure nearly slipped.

He looked shocked, mouth hanging open slightly and eyes trained on you in disbelief. His eyes were shining and a thought flashed across your mind – what did Hanzo look like when he cried? Before you could think anymore he had shakily gotten up and made his way to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his good side. One of your hands went to his chest to stable yourself as fresh tears unleashed themselves unbidden and he rocked you slowly, head on top of yours.

“I’m sorry… I’m truly, truly sorry to have scared you like that. I-I will explain one day, I promise, but I can’t… Not right now…” His low words and his actions soothed you, the tears stopping only to be replaced by a sudden wave of tiredness and your eyes felt heavy. He kissed your head pulling back slightly to look you in the eyes, smiling weakly. “Why don’t you get in bed, and I will clean up. I will join you”. You agreed, too tired to argue at this point.

You reached your room and collapsed into in, trying to stay awake by listening to the sounds of Hanzo shuffling around. The light went off from the hall and you just about make out him coming into your room before you felt the bed dip with his weight. You turned into him, head near his chest as he wrapped his arms around you and proceeded to stroke your back. You yawned.

“’M glad you’re okay Hanzo. I’d make a good doctor. Was gonna stab you at first when I didn’t know it was you,” you heard him chuckle, and you liked the sound. It pulled you deeper into sleep. “Never stabbed anyone before”.

“I’m sure you haven’t. Now shh, and sleep.” He gently chided. You didn’t need to be told twice and quickly drifted off, Hanzo’s warmth a great comfort for you. Just as you were pulled under, you heard him speak.

“Oh rōzu, my sweet, sweet rōzu, I will protect you. Can’t you see I’m already changing the man I am for you?”

[bants-in-beijing]

到啦！

yaaas finally made it to the hostel and set up uni internet account on both phone and laptop 👊achievement unlocked👊 

So lots has happened in the past few days :O first moved into 中关新园 and caught up with a friend + her family in Beijing :D They helped me buy tons of stuff at local stores and organise registration at the uni etc.  (literally could not have done it alone omg like the bureaucracy involved with the process on its own is already a huge struggle but that alongside trying to sort everything out in a foreign language is just next to impossible). so massive thanks to them for being so patient and helping out 🙏 🙏~  

top tip: if u have to buy a clothes rack, make sure you have someone with you at the time so you don’t end up lugging it across campus, nearly leaving it behind in a corner store, and hauling it over a walkway bridge up to the 9th floor of ur hostel all alone :)  Pros tho, your arms will get super ripped (unsteady shaking wrists for the next hour may or may not be a minor side effect tho...)

I’m in a double room on the 9th floor of the hostel, so the view is pretty decent. On the other hand tho no idea where my roommate is???? the 服务员 said she went back home to Korea for new year but that she should b back for the start of their classes on Monday .... but like she isn’t here yet?? what’s even weirder tho is that stuff on her side of the room has been moved since i got here 0_0 my friends back in NZ and i have this inside joke that she’s probably a ghost or invisible, which given the situation seemed like a pretty plausible explanation at the time ahaha 😂 but then another friend said that the room mate might’ve arrived back already, grabbed some stuff from our room, and then gone away again to stay at a friend’s place for a few days or something instead, which does make slightly more sense than the invisible theory i s’pose lol. From the books and notes on her side of the room it looks like she’s korean but proficient in English and chinese. So yay that’s a plus! at least communication shouldn’t be too difficult when we finally do meet ahahah. 

Yesterday morning all the pre-uni students had a test to see which chinese classes we should be placed into 😱 NOTE: bring a 2B pencil to the placement test or face getting growled at by the supervisor. Mechanical pencils not okay either for some reason... 😒

NGL Personally i thought the test was pretty hard. the actual comprehension of the listening part wasn’t too bad, it was just really confusing because they had heaps of answers that were almost the same save for a few details, or multiple answers that COULD have been correct and it was just a matter of really getting the specific details to figure out which one fit best, which was something completely different to anything i’d ever done in NCEA before so yea saying it was a bit of a challenge would be an understatement lol. To put it in perspective i straight up guessed all the answer for the last few questions in the reading section and wrote an essay with every second character in pinyin for the writing part lmao 😓😬 somehow though despite all that still managed to make it into class 3! But don’t actually know how the classes are ranked in terms of numbering so could still be in the cabbage class after all lmao. Class lists came out in the afternoon on that same day, so it must have been a very quick marking process. Luckily a couple of friends i made are in the same class!!! :D One of those friends is the same age as me, arrived on the same day and likes the same song by this one chinese artist! plus a few other things the same as well~ it was just really nice to find someone with so many things in common this early on, especially after three days of practical isolation in the hostel lol. 

Got a chinese sim and data plan, set up a chinese bank account, had the medical exam, and bought text books for class. Still needa set up online + mobile banking though, purchase insurance and get a permanent residence permit. I was actually living off of 4g data on its own since friday because there was no way to connect to the internet without going to the computer department (which was shut over the weekend, of course... ). Also had to sort out a ton of stuff with my passport at the new sun centre and computer centre. Because during the actual application procedure months ago i used my old passport, so some stuff like my internet password and admission notice were using the old passport number while other things in the uni system were already using my new passport number. It got a bit messy to say the least... that’s just one thing to be aware of. You can get unlimited internet for 10 yuan a month which is very, very reasonable! originally it used to be 100yuan a month but apparently so many students complained about how expensive it was that they lowered the price. You need to pay for internet by going to this machine in the 计算中心， inserting your campus card and putting in the last six digits of your passport number (hence where many complications arise.. luckily there was another international student there at the time who helped me out and had the same old/new passport problem when she first came last semester. and as it turns out my new friend has that exact same problem too😂)  

ALSO make sure to put money on your campus card if you want to eat at the school canteens. They don’t take cash. But most stores on campus only take cash, not your campus card, so really you just need to have both handy. You can put money on your card at the 中关新园接待中心 or machines on campus (but i haven’t quite figured out how or where to do that yet lol). if there’s no money on your campus card tho it’s not that big of a deal caus you can always just buy dinner from a convenience store on campus or go to the restaurants at 中关新园 and pay using your hostel card (but that seems to be more expensive than campus canteens so probs wouldn’t recommend it...although i haven’t actually eaten there before sooo). A normal amount to put on campus cards is around 100yuan. Any more than that and you’ll probably get laughed at by the receptionist. Plus it just makes sense not to put too much on at any one time in case it gets stolen or lost. Photos to come!! 

sorry for the long post lmao too much to catch up on.