#Also these asks... Not me and my same three songs i always listen to

[forestlion]

4, 11, 24 & 28 ?

4: A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

That is such a good question and should be easy to answer I feel like. Unfortunately... I do be forgetting things all the time every day. So, instead of interpreting this one as, like, a lover or friend I'd like to forget... Let's do it like this:

Get it? I'm a Harry hater lmaooo pinkmoney Styles.

11: A song that you never get tired of

I don't think this song has ever not been on my On Repeat Spotify Playlist tbh. It's the song of all time, it really is

24: A song by a band you wish were still together

I'm being One Direction baited... In my own house????????????? Fine. But first a Brave Girls song bc these women deserved betterrrrrr. Yelling screaming throwing up.

Okay. Okay. Here we go. You're asking for it

Opting for one of their... More controversial songs. Personally? You know I love camp.

28: A song by an artist with a voice that you love

Kate Bush loml... This song can only be heard by cats it's so high

Vocalist of our generation

[rainrot4me]

Do You Think About Her?

Summary: Jeff liked to tease Toby about his lack of experience with women. So when coming home from a mission with the two, you decide to tell Jeff off, spurring him into a jealous fit to see how far he can push you both.

Characters: Jeff the Killer & Ticci Toby x Female Reader

SMUT WARNING MINORS DNI

TW: Teasing, Toby is inexperienced, Jeff’s an asshole, fingering, cunnilingus, embarrassment, dub-con, blowjob, fucking in/on a truck, voyeurism, double penetration, vaginal, slight power struggle

Words: 5.0k

Jeff was known to make Toby the brunt of his jokes.

Whenever the twitching boy would stutter too much or laugh a little too hard, Jeff was always quick to jump on his ass and say something. Whether Toby took the remarks seriously or not, the pale killer never let up.

So whenever Toby accidentally let it slip that the farthest he had ever gotten with a girl was a blowjob, the whole mansion groaned with the frequency Jeff brought it up. Whenever he got a chance to embarrass the brunette you best believe he was going to, despite your belief that Toby could easily lay his ass out but just chose not to.

You had been sleeping around with Jeff for a while, the horny killer always willing to show you a good time whenever you asked for it. But that also meant dealing with his obnoxious mouth, and whatever bullshit insults he had conjured that day. So when you got wind of Jeff’s hounding on the boy, your heart ached. You and Toby were about the same age, and your backstories for how you ended up under Slender’s care were more or less the same. Bad home life turned murderous. There was a sense of familiarity in him, so you couldn’t just let your obnoxious fuck buddy run his mouth without you saying something.

“Listen, Jeff.” You groaned, curling your legs under you in the passenger seat of his old truck, heading back to the mansion after a particularly aggravating mission. Jeff eyed you, head propped on his fist as he leaned against the open window, the cool night air wafting in as he drove down the familiar back roads. Toby sat quietly in the back seat, staring out the window as his brown curls swayed in the wind. Slender had assigned the three of you together, apparently unaware of the high tensions between the two boys. It just made completing the mission that much more difficult. “You’ve gotta lay off Toby. The poor kids gonna cut your head off if you don’t quit talking about his dick.” You mumbled, staring at the dense trees flying by. Jeff groaned, sitting back against his seat as he turned a sharp curve, cringing at you. A slow rock song mumbled through the radio, the atmosphere nice besides the sour mood in the truck.

“Ain’t my fault the stutter’s practically a virgin.” He laughed dryly, looking into the rearview mirror and catching Toby’s nasty look at him, neck jerking. You were assigned some bullshit job to take out a couple of guys who vandalized the mansion, how they ever got that close and lived you had no idea. But with Toby bickering with Jeff’s snarky attitude, it was nearly impossible for them to focus. Two hours longer than it should have taken, you were finally headed back to the mansion, praying to get away from the two. 

“Don’t be acting like you weren’t a virgin before I came along.” You huffed, turning to catch Toby snickering lowly, looking back out the window quickly before Jeff could see. Jeff grits his teeth, rolling his eyes as he leans forward, staring daggers at you. “Oh, come on now. You’re talking real big for someone that begs for me to fuck them once a week.” He snarled, reaching his arm across the console and gripping your thigh tightly, glancing between you and the road. Toby was still laughing quietly, amused by the bickering not focused on him for once. But this time Jeff heard him, whipping his wide eyes around quickly to laugh at the boy. “No fucking way the virgin’s laughing!” He hollered, throwing his head back as he laughed annoyingly, just loud enough to prove a point. You slapped his arm, pushing his hand off your thigh as you hissed.

“Jeff.”

He rolled his eyes, glancing between you and the rearview mirror, snarling at Toby. The brunette just stared awkwardly between you two, back pressed flush against the seat as you turned to look back at him, nodding your apology. Toby smiled at you, his cheek twitching at the movement. But as you turned back forward, Jeff’s pale face sat shocked and angry as he glanced between the two of you. You glared at him, but that felt all too much as he faced forward quickly, shoving the wheel to the left and throwing the truck off the road, pulling next to the thick treeline and slamming on the brakes. You yelped, bracing your hands on the dash as he threw the truck in park and shut the engine off, the low rock song still beating through the old speakers. Toby cursed, groaning as he pushed himself off of Jeff’s seat and shook his head.

Before you could berate the pale killer, he was already throwing open his door, jumping out and quickly shoving the back door open as well. You watched as Toby struggled frantically against him, punching his shoulders as Jeff hauled him from the truck and onto the grass below. You yelled, throwing open your door and dodging to the opposite side of the truck. Jeff was already on top of the boy, loud grunts and curses ringing as they pushed against each other, fists flying and grappling the other. Toby was holding him off, but with Jeff holding his knee on his stomach, there was little Toby could do to fight him off. They were throwing their palms into each other’s faces, pushing their necks and nearly hurting themselves. So you yelled, instincts thrown as you gripped Jeff by his messy hair, tugging him back by the head until he was hissing. 

As you pulled him off of the smaller boy, you beat his chest with your fist, furious. “What the fuck are you doing?!” You snarled, pushing his chest back against the side of the truck with a loud thud. Thankfully this road was practically abandoned, nobody having any reason to travel back this far unless it was a hunting season, so no one just saw the throwdown that you just broke up. Toby panted behind you, your body standing between the two so Jeff had no choice but to focus on your angry face. “Fu- fuckin’ psycho…” Toby grits, spitting onto the ground as he sits up on his elbows. You still stared at Jeff, your questioning expression enough to make him groan. 

When Toby began to cough, you turned, reaching an arm out to help him stand. You gave him a once over, making sure Jeff hadn’t done any serious damage as you hauled him up. He was slightly taller than you, his goofy smile thankful as he pulled his mask down under his chin, wiping the dirt from his cheek. You sighed, turning back to Jeff and glaring, but getting caught off guard by his disgusted expression. Jeff towered over the both of you, his nasty scowl making you worried. 

“If I didn’t know better I’d think you two were fuckin’.” Jeff growled, pushing off the truck and shouldering the two of you apart, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets and staring into the woods. Toby and you awkwardly glanced at each other, the brunette stepping out of the way as you shuffled to Jeff’s side. “Jeff. You’re being unreasonable.” You grit, shoving his shoulder as he glanced at you, groaning. But he turned back to Toby, glaring daggers at the boy until he glanced back at you, a small smirk appearing on his sullen face. The pale killer shuffled to Toby’s side, throwing his arm around the boy’s shoulders, making him flinch away. Jeff held his head tight against his side, making the boy stare through his messy hair at you as you nervously watched. “Tell me, twitch. You ever thought about my girl before? While you’re jerkin’ it, maybe?”

There was a nasty grin on Jeff’s face as you blushed, crossing your arms as the brunette stared at the ground. Jeff didn't appreciate the silence so he hauled Toby’s head up, gripping him by the back of the hair and making his eyes face you. “Jeff-”

“Ah, ah. I’m asking him.” Jeff cut you off, nudging Toby by his side until his shoulders twitched under the pressure. “Whaddya say, Toby?” You glanced nervously between the two, both of their eyes on you as you waited for either an answer or for Jeff to shove off. Music still thumped from the truck, the cool night air blowing your hair gently until there were goosebumps on your skin.  Toby’s eyes frantically glanced between you and the ground, his freckled cheeks a dark tint as he searched for an answer. You had no idea what had gotten into Jeff, but you were growing tired and more embarrassed by the second. Toby closed his eyes, shaking his head as Jeff scoffed, shoving him back to the ground

“I guess we’ll just find out then, huh?” Jeff smiled wildly, stepping over Toby to move to you, your body subconsciously taking a step back before pale hands wrapped around your waist, pushing you in front of him. Jeff stood flush behind you, hands on your hips as he looked down at Toby, the brunette perched against the rear tire of the truck. You pushed against Jeff's hands, protesting lightly as he hugged around your waist, nudging his face into the crook of your neck and kissing lightly, keeping his eyes on Toby the whole time. You groaned, trying to squirm away from his grasp as he nibbled on your neck, kissing small pecks up your jaw and to your ear. Your cheeks grew hot, anxiously glancing between Jeff and Toby, the brunette’s eyes having a hard time looking away from you as Jeff ravaged the side of your face. 

You stifled a groan when Jeff’s cool hands slid under your shirt, pressing light touches against your skin. You gasped, tugging your shirt down as his arms pushed the fabric up, panicking against him. “Jeff- Stop-” You huffed, tugging at his arms, but the pale killer only laughed, nibbling behind your ear as he watched Toby carefully become flustered. You glanced at the brunette, his cheeks dark and knees pressed close to his chest, unable to do anything but watch you fidget under pale arms. Jeff was making a spectacle out of you, teasing the poor boy at your expense. But there was little you could do as he tugged your shirt up, despite your protests.

When he got your shirt over your head, you could literally see the panic in Toby’s eyes. You screwed your eyes shut, whining as Jeff reached behind to unclip your bra and tug it off your shoulders. The brunette was quick to look down, finding your feet inches away from him far more interesting. Jeff didn’t appreciate that, taking your tits in his hands and kneading roughly. “Oh, don’t get shy now, twitch. You gotta own up to how much of a pervert you are.” The killer smiled, pinching your nipples until he heard you hiss, your cheeks hot and breath heavy. 

“The o- only pervert here is yo- you, Jeff…” Toby grunted, eyes glancing up quickly to your tits but back down nervously as he caught the fingers on them. You desperately tugged on Jeff’s hoodie sleeves, teeth gritted as he finally let go and ran his hands down your waist. His cool hands were quick to unbutton your jeans, pushing his hand past your waistline and down into your panties. You yelped, grabbing at his arm and begging the perverted hand out, Jeff only groaning. “Oh, stop acting like you don’t fuckin’ love this, babe.” He hissed in your ear, gripping your wrists and tugging them behind your back, his left hand securing them between his body as his right reentering your panties. You whined, hips bucking frantically as his thick fingers slid between your folds, pushing your wetness onto the digits. Jeff chuckled lowly, pressing his right knee between your legs and forcing your thighs open as his fingers prodded against your clit. 

Toby couldn’t look away now, his flushed cheeks dark as his eyes widened. He was twitching frantically, his neck jerking against the mental override he was experiencing. You stared at him through heavy eyes, embarrassment tugging at your stomach as you begged the boy to look away. Jeff was always one for proving a point no matter the expense, so as he pushed his fingers into your entrance, stretching you wide, he was quick to snap at the brunette. 

“Well look at that, twitch. You ever fingered a girl before? Ever made her squirm this much?” Jeff teased, Toby’s head shaking slowly as his lips fell open, his eyes refusing to look anywhere else. Your arms protested against Jeff, but his strong grip held both of them easily, keeping your chest out and ass pressed back against him. His bulge was already evidently, his psychotic personality getting him excited at your struggle. His thick fingers curled inside of you, pushing little whines and hisses from your lips until you were hunched over, gasping as pleasure racked your cunt. Jeff was chuckling against your neck, nibbling on the skin and leaving little red marks wherever his teeth grazed. It made you whine, your eyes growing heavy and your face hot as you were forced to face Toby, hunched over so your face was right above his. A cool palm nudged against your clit, making your hips grind down and relish in the friction. Toby was so lost in the scene, his knees rubbing together nervously as he glanced quickly between your flushed face and Jeff’s hands shoved into your pants. His bulge was evident against his jeans, his hands gripping the grass below him as he nudged his thighs together, desperately trying to grasp at some sort of friction. 

Jeff ground his hips into your clothed ass, his bulge rubbing against you as he huffed against your neck. “Come on, tell the boy how good you feel.” He grunted, slotting his thick fingers in and out of your cunt quickly, your hips bucking against his palm. He was pulling gasps from you, every curl of his fingers making you mewl your pleasure. Your embarrassment had faded, excitement coursing through you as Toby began to palm himself through his jeans, his hitched groans making you whine as you locked eyes. “Ah… Jeff…” You groaned through gritted teeth when his thick fingers pressed deep against your walls, gushing your arousal around his cool fingers. The killer chuckled, letting your wrists go to snap onto your hip, pulling your hips back so he could grind into your ass easier. You felt your stomach knotting, your hips stuttering against his fingers as you began to whine, biting your cheek. “Toby…” Toby gasped under you, eyes wide as he ground into his hand, mesmerized by you. Eyes locked, you could feel yourself close to that familiar edge, chasing Jeff’s fingers as they curled deep. 

But as if he could sense it, Jeff tugged his fingers out of your warm walls, sliding them out of your pants and chucking wickedly as you whined. You were shocked, hips still bucking as he held your hips, refusing to let you move. You were teetering on that lovely edge, so close to getting off but so quickly stripped of that feeling that you could’ve cried. 

Jef tugged your pants down, pulling your damp panties with them until you kicked them off your ankles. You were completely exposed to the cool air, goosebumps riddling your skin as Jeff bent down, hooking his hands under your knees and tugging you up quickly. Your back was pressed flush against his chest, laying all your weight as your held your knees apart, your throbbing cunt face first with Toby’s face. You whined loudly, hands reaching back to grip Jeff’s messy hair as your cheeks grew dark, eyes pleading as you stared at the boy under you. “Go on. Make her cum.” Jeff commanded, holding you up easily as he watched Toby, beckoning the nervous boy. 

The brunette sat up unsurely, climbing onto his knees as he watched your dark face. He stripped his jacket, letting it fall to the ground behind him as he pressed closer, heavy breath brushing against your sensitive folds. You whined, hips trying to buck to his face but Jeff’s hands holding you still, tsking. “Go on, twitch.” Toby nodded nervously, sliding his fingers up to press your folds apart, eyes flinching to your face worriedly when you gasped. His freckled face looked so cute under you, his goggles pushing his bangs off his forehead and letting you see the flushed skin as he pushed closer. His tongue pressed first, licking a thick stripe between your folds before his soft lips pressed in, sucking on your sensitive clit. Jeff growled, pushing your hips closer to the brunette as you moaned, throwing your head back against his shoulder. “Oh, God-” You hummed, eyes slamming shut as Toby flicked his tongue over your sensitive bud. 

Your back arched against Jeff, fingers gripping his hair tight as you rutted against the warm tongue lapping at your arousal. Toby spread your lips with his fingers, flattening his tongue against your entrance as humming against you. He pushed further, slipping his tongue into your warmth and making you groan, your hand instantly shooting down to rub your clit and push you close. Toby’s eyes stayed hooded, watching eagerly as your fingers brushed against his nose, his tongue shoved into your cunt. “Le- Let me…” He grunted, sliding his hand up to shove yours away and take its place, slowly circling your clit with the pads of his fingers. You could barely breathe through all the gasps and whines that spilt from your lips, Jeff’s fingernails gripping your leg as he watched the scene unfold. He was smiling and huffing his arousal, teeth nibbling against your ear as he pushed your hips against Toby’s tongue, pulling your knees back further to give the brunette more access. “Does his tongue feel good, babe? You gonna cum on his face?” Jeff cooed, rutting his hips up against your bare ass as Toby lapped at your cunt, eyes fluttering shut as he tried to push deeper.

Nodding frantically, you could already feel yourself clamping down, Jeff’s lewd words making your core twitch as fingers rubbed against your clit. “Toby-” You whined, bucking your hips up as you felt your orgasm crash into you. Toby was quick to hold your hips, burying his face deeper into your cunt as he soaked up your arousal on his tongue, groaning at the taste. Jeff growled, teeth digging into your shoulder as Toby’s fingers rubbed your orgasm out, your thighs trying to twitch shut. When you finally breathed deep, Toby slipped his tongue out, hooded eyes gazing at your hot face, your cheeks flushed and sweaty. He smiled goofily, fingers spreading your soaked lips as he admired your still throbbing cunt, palming himself. Jeff slowly let your legs down, hooking his arm around your waist when your knees buckled from your sensitivity. 

“Damn, Toby…” He groaned, unzipping his jeans and freeing his heavy cock, the tip already smeared with pre. The pale killer gripped you to his side, staring down at the brunette still on his knees as he began to fist his length lazily. Toby sat back on his calves, eyes flicking nervously as he watched Jeff tug you towards the truck, pressing his back against the door and holding you in front of him. Toby stood awkwardly, fidgeting his hands as he watched Jeff push you back, gripping his hands around your head and bringing your mouth to his cock. You didn’t even think, mouth opening almost on instinct as you bent at the waist, bracing your hands against his thighs and taking the twitching length in your mouth like you had done it a thousand times before. Jeff sighed, gripping your hair into a ponytail and bobbing you slowly as he began to talk. 

“You wanna fuck her?” He grinned, grunting as you moaned your approval around his girth. Toby gasped quietly, eyes focused on watching you take Jeff so easily as his cock throbbed against his jeans. Jeff spread his legs wider, pressing his shoulders back against the glass of the door and cupping your cheek, forcing you to bury your face onto his cock, gagging against him. The pale killer groaned, eyeing Toby expectantly as the brunette nodded, his nervousness fading as he watched you submit to Jeff so easily. He wanted that. He wanted you to want him that way. 

Toby had always thought you were cute, his aggravation with Jeff spreading when the killer claimed you for his use. Toby thought the guy was ungrateful for such a pretty girl as you, wishing it was him who was dragging you upstairs to his room after a bad day. The bad thing about all living in the same hallway was the lack of noise privacy, so every time Toby heard your little whines echoing against his wall, there was little he could do against his straining arousal. 

But now, with your hips in the air and your cunt so beautifully waiting, Toby would show you. Despite his lack of experience, the brunette had watched enough porn to know what he wanted, to know exactly how he needed to treat you. The boy nodded, unzipping his jeans and sliding behind you, awkwardly gripping your hips. Your back muscles twitched and pulsed as you strained to bob at the pace Jeff was wanting you to go, the killer’s dark eyes grinning as he watched Toby nervously slip out his cock. The tip was red and leaking, twitching desperately as the brunette bent his knees, angling his head to press between your soft folds and find your entrance. You gasped, immediately pressing back against him but Jeff’s hands held your head, giving you little room to move as you slobbered on his length. 

The killer was being possessive, inspecting the brunette's every move as he pushed into you slowly, watching your expressions for any sign that you weren’t enjoying it. You moaned around his cock, tongue flattening against the underside and flicking against the gaudy veins that ran up it. Jeff huffed, relishing in the way your slobber pooled at the sides of your mouth as you screwed your eyes shut, focusing on not choking on his girth. But he wanted you to. He wanted to put on a good show for the kid. 

Placing his hands on either side of your head, he thrust quickly into the heat of your mouth, head knocking against the back of your throat and making you gag. He smiled, pulling back to the head before slamming back in, trying his best to pull any noises he could from your constricted throat. 

Toby watched carefully, mouth hanging lazily as he bottomed out inside of you. You were so warm, the heat swallowing him impossibly tight as he struggled not to move. His cock wasn’t as long as Jeff’s, but fuck did it still stretch you so good. You ground your hips back, moaning at the way the boy’s nails dug into your hips desperately. You had already ruined porn for him, your cunt gripping him the way his fist never could. He was already hooked. “God… O- Oh my god…” Toby gasped, shallowly thrusting into your cunt and drooling at the way your entrance tugged against him every time he pulled out. You were so pretty, your flushed skin warm under his scarred fingers, he couldn’t help but knead your ass apart as he ground into you.

In your opinion, the two boys were so impossibly different. Jeff was an ego trip, dick thinking before his brain did and making him a cocky little bitch who loved to show off. But Toby, on the other hand, was an awkward kid whose brain ran faster than the rest of him. It made him sensitive, but so dangerously impulsive at the same time. But right now, with their cocks buried on either side of you, their differences were even more prominent. Jeff was rough and loud, even on his best days caring only if you ended up babbling his name out of overstimulation. But Toby was nervous, inexperienced and trying his best to fulfill those urges he so desperately had. It was dizzying how differently they treated you.

You ground back against Toby, arching your back against his small thrusts and begging him to dare faster. He panted behind you, neck twitching and face contorting with every stretch he could feel inside of you. “Faster, twitch,” Jeff grunted, angling his cock in your mouth so he could fuck your throat, smiling at the way you gurgled on your spit. Toby hesitated for a minute, looking at the killer unsurely. 

“She wants you to go, ah, faster.” He hissed, snapping his hips as you gripped his jeans, begging for air. After so much time sleeping around, Jeff could read your body language like a book. It was beyond annoying, especially when he could tell you were aroused despite your bickering that you weren’t. But in this case, you thanked him by pressing your head down further, pushing your nose into his pubes. 

Toby nodded frantically, spreading his feet wider so he could angle himself up, slowly snapping his hips faster. He gripped your hips, his fingerless gloves nipping against your skin until you were whining loudly, gut-clenching in pleasure as his cock nudged against your g-spot. You arched your back, letting the brunette groan and hiss his pleasure behind you as you thrust your hips back, matching his pace. It wasn’t long before he was ramming into you, skin snapping loudly as he gave in and abandoned his nervousness. Jeff was eager too, nearly matching the brunette’s pace as he forced his cock down your throat, only pulling back every so often so you could suck on the head and catch your breath. “So- So warm…”

Jeff grits his teeth, challenging the twitching boy opposite of him as he stares daggers through his hooded eyes. “You gonna cum, twitch? Gonna spill in her?” Jeff was teasing him, the killer’s own orgasm quick on his heels as he slipped out of your mouth, slapping the wet length against your cheek. You were gasping, whines mixing as Toby snapped his hips, hissing. “I- I, ah, can’t-” He whined, your walls clamping against his aching cock, milking him quickly. Jeff grinned, popping his cock back in your mouth and letting you suck on the head while he talked. “Sure you can. Had her on the pill for a while now. Get to fill her cunt full whenever I want.” 

It was true. Jeff was so insanely horny that he had opted for stealing birth control pills from the pharmacy off the highway nearby just so he didn’t have to pull out. But you couldn’t complain, cumming around a cock was heavenly. 

Toby stared wide-eyed, a new fire igniting in him as he pressed his hands around your waist and began to slam his hips brutally. You yelped, eyes rolling as the boy thrust deeply into you, his teeth gritted and grunting. Jeff laughed wickedly, tugging your chin down with his thumb as he pushed his cock back into the warmth of your mouth, grunting as he matched Toby’s pace in your throat. You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think straight when Toby gripped your hips and hauled you up, your feet leaving the ground. He hunched over you, breathing raggedly as he fucked up into your cunt, squelching and slapping loud in your ears. 

It was all too much, so many sensations and so full your body couldn’t resist itself anymore. You buried your around Jeff’s cock as you came, eyes rolling hard as your cunt clamped down against the unfamiliar girth. Your legs were spasming, feet kicking in the air as Toby moaned, digging his nails deep. 

They both buried in you at the same time, their ragged moans and loud breathing making your gut twist as you felt warm seed spilling into you. You tried to swallow quickly, choking on the salty liquid as Jeff hunched over you, gripping your head tight in his pale hands. Toby’s cock twitched inside of you, knees shaking as he let himself spill into your warmth. Jeff pulled out first, letting his leaking head rest against your swollen lips as tears spilt down your cheeks, your mind so hazy you couldn’t breathe straight. He chuckled, hooking his hands under your armpits and tugging you up against his chest, Toby slipping out of you with a groan. You panted against Jeff’s shoulder, eyes heavy and cunt throbbing as he picked you up and snapped at Toby to grab your clothes. 

So when Toby climbed into the passenger seat and Jeff sat you sideways on his lap, tugging you close to his chest, you breathed deep. Toby’s bangs were stuck against his forehead from the sweat, his red freckled cheeks watching you so closely as he ran his hand between your thighs, your head falling onto his shoulder as he fingered his cum inside of you. Jeff grinned as he started the truck, hauling it back onto the road and speeding towards the mansion, occasionally reaching over to press his thick fingers in with Toby’s and make you cry. The brunette pressed his chin against your head, rubbing your clit as Jeff’s fingers pressed Toby’s cum deep into your cunt, tugging yet another orgasm out of you as the same slow rock music pounded against the speakers. 

You could barely think as they dressed you, pulled up to the mansion and hauled you inside, Toby carrying you to your room and setting you between them as they cleaned you up. Jeff still bickered with Toby, rolling your eyes as you slipped into sleep below them. 

But as the weeks passed and Toby began showing up at your door with that pleading look in his eyes as frequently as Jeff, there was little you could do to resist. Even when the two showed up together, scheming some new position they wanted to try and arguing the whole time, your heart fluttered.

So when their sharp words turned to breathy groans, you realized that maybe the only way they could stand each other was if you were distracting them, giving them something better to focus on.

This is a birthday present for @carmoronic! Live it up!!!!

Comments and reblogs are appreciated! 𐚁₊⊹

[onegirlatelier]

April, 2024 | Shetland lace shawl

Hi there! It’s been a while. I’ve been kept busy by all my university work…and this shawl.

The shawl is knitted to celebrate the wedding of my friend (now friends, I should say). A wedding is really the perfect excuse for all the heritage crafts and heirloom projects that might seem too serious to gift in other occasions. I did ask the recipient beforehand if she would like it, though, and I was so, so honoured that I got an enthusiastic ‘yes’. I’m sure this sentiment is shared by many makers, whatever gift they are making.

Shetland fine openwork, a knitted lace, seems to have emerged with the beginning of the reign of Queen Victoria, who championed and popularised the craft. It was probably spread from the Isle of Unst to other parts of Shetland. What surprised me the most when I first read about it was that Shetland shawls and other lace pieces were largely exported as luxury items and rarely worn by islanders themselves. Women bought yarn from spinners and knitted mostly in their homes. They then took them to local merchants and exchange the finished objects for goods or (commonly after the 1880s) money to supplement the household income. The ‘supplement’ nature of this work probably means it was not compensated as much as a job outside the home would be for the same hours and skills. Besides, it was not always easy to spin an even 1-ply yarn at 1600 metres per 100 grams. For a piece of knitting with a large ‘plain’ area (i.e. only knit stitches), the unevenness was impossible to hide but could only be discovered after the area was worked. Then the maker had to either frog (unravel) the area or continue with the risk of the whole piece not being able to sell.

Whilst it is very reasonable to point out that Shetland ladies did not usually wear this type of lace (I’ve been to the Scottish Highlands once, in summer, and it was not fine lace weather), I imagine that at least for some, it wasn’t just about making money. Some sort of fulfilment must have been from the satisfaction of having a piece ‘properly done’ by continuing and adapting a traditional pattern, technique or material. I think this sort of satisfaction is also why many modern knitters are willing to spend hundreds of hours on lacework.

Intricate handknitted lace items can still be bought today (a quick search on Etsy would show many are form eastern European countries with a long and prominent craft tradition), but many are knitted for friends or family members. It always makes me so happy to see people share the gifts they have made, whether big or small, simple or complex. I joke with my online craft friends that no handmade fibre project can claim to be so unless they have a hair or two woven into it. It is the proof of existence for the maker, who tries to go against the irregular nature of handicrafts and, at the same time, accepts it. It is about wrapping up hours, weeks or months in one’s life, along with the songs they have listened to and the perfume they have worn and the memories they have made, and putting it squarely in someone else’s hands and saying: ‘All this, for you.’

A Wedding Shawl

I have not read anything about there being a standard form of ‘wedding shawl’ in the Shetland tradition. However, there is definitely a category of square shawls with similar sizes and a few construction methods. The samples I’ve seen mostly measure 1.5-2m on one side and have three parts: a central panel, four borders and a strip of edging. It is worked flat in garter lace from centre out.

Neither is there a standardised yarn weight. A widely available yarn is the Shetland Supreme Lace Weight 1-ply by Jamieson and Smith, which weighs at 400m/25g. The Queen Ring Shawl examined by Sharon Miller used a yarn at 700m/25g. From my experience, if you want the shawl to be a true ring shawl (i.e. you want to be able to pull the shawl through a ring) at the size of the Queen Ring Shawl (210cm on the side), go for 700m/25g or finer.

I chose a rectangular shawl because I had very limited time, but I did enlarge it because for me, an abundance of fabric does mean an abundance of cozy happiness.

Pattern

Shell Grid and Spider Webs Puzzle, pattern No.19 in the book Shetland Knitting Lace by Toshiyuki Shimada.

The names of the motifs are confusing. One motif (or two highly similar motifs) might just have two different names if they are produced in two different regions. Names do not mean everything, but I’ve had fun trying to match the motifs with names according to this article by Carol Christiansen at the Shetland Museum.

The double yarnovers (YO's) in the diamonds were called Cat's Eye, but perhaps the 'Spider Web' in the pattern name is referring to the three rows of double YO's in the centre panel. It has a really simple but effective edging.

Yarn

Mermaid Lace, in colourway #naturel, sold by Great British Wool in the Netherlands. This yarn is 75% merino and 25% sea algae silk. ‘Sea algae silk’ seems to be a semi-synthetic plant fibre like viscose, with algae involved as part of the raw material. (At this price point I don’t think it has anything to do with sea silk, which is fibre produced by actual shells.) The brand name for the most popular product of its type is probably Seacell.

I bought the yarn, because I had never worked with this fibre before and was curious. What I like: it was a little cheaper than a wool/silk blend and has blocked very well. The whole skein was continuous so I didn’t have to deal with a single yarn joint. What I do not like: it lacks the sheen and smoothness of real silk and doesn’t feel as strong, although it doesn’t shed. In conclusion, I’d rather use a traditional Shetland 1-ply or another natural fibre yarn.

It's also worth mentioning that whilst I prefer to support small businesses, it was disappointing to have received a 93-gram skein when I had ordered 100 grams. It was one of those days between Christmas and the New Year and I somehow did not contact the customer service, but I really should have.

Needle

2.5mm 80cm circular needles. See modification below.

Modification

This Japanese knitting book follows Japanese sizing for knitting needles. The suggested size was no. 1=2.4mm. I figured that I could use a 2.5mm since I knitted on the tighter side, and in any case it was probably okay to make the lacework a little more open by going up a needle size.

I am not going to give out the pattern, but it is probably necessary to explain the structure of this shawl. The centre is knitted first, and then an edging is knitted onto it by picking up either live stitches or the vertical edge of the centre as you go (see schematic below). The four ‘corners’ of the edging have short-row shaping to help it lay flat. I know that traditionally people can achieve this by other methods, but I haven’t tried any of those yet.

I enlarged the pattern by increasing both the width and the length. I casted on 133 stitches instead of 101 for the centre panel and knitted Part B 8.5 times instead of 5.5. The spider web pattern in Part B requires the stitch count to be (something dividable by four) plus two, so I made one central increase before the spider web to get 134 and a central decrease after it to get it back to 133. Due to the openness of the lace, the change of one stitch is not visible.

The enlargement meant I had to recalculate the edging as well, because the number of stitches available for pick-up changed. Originally, at each corner you do two repeats with four short-row shaping each. I did 1.5 repeats following the original placement of short-row shaping in order to make the total number of repeats fit the number of edge stitches on the centre panel.

The pattern says to Kitchener-stitch the last row of the edging to the provisional cast-on. It just didn’t make sense because that would be two rows too much (the Kitchener stitch row plus the provisional cast-on row). To make the number perfectly fit, I knitted only ten rows of the last repeat (there were usually twelve in each repeat). Then I Kitchener-stitched the end to the provisional cast-on, following the lace pattern. I am quite proud of this solution because it is completely invisible.

Somewhere in the pattern it said to purl (looking from the right side). It seemed strange because the rest of the lace was entirely garter. I knitted those stitches and so far I haven’t sensed a ‘mistake’.

The pattern originally calls for 45 grams of yarn. I estimated (based on the increase of stitches in the centre panel) to need about 80 grams. I ended up using 86 grams. Besides the inaccuracies in my estimation, it was probably also because I knitted much more loosely than expected as it was difficult to tension the yarn tightly at such a weight. Like I've point out in the Yarn section above, I was lucky not to have needed more than 93 grams.

The original finished size is 53*118cm. I ended up with approximately 70*170cm.

Conclusion

This shawl took about three months of my craft time i.e. one full day every week for three months and many mornings before I had to leave for university. Knitting outside my room just didn’t work because I was a) engaged in some other activities that made it difficult to steady my hands, and b) worried about putting a white shawl on any public surface.

The pattern itself is relatively straightforward. The first difficulty was, of course, to understand the instruction written in Japanese. Google translate was horrible so I had to rely on my knitting experience. Fortunately, much of the text description was also found in graphs and charts. Then I had to get my hands used to the tiny yarn. After that, it was only fiddly when I did the edging, because I had to turn about every twelve stitches, and by that time I was handling a giant cloud of stitches on my lap. It did give me a lot of time to go over my favourite documentaries and films, and the last bit of edging was surprisingly quick!

Traditionally, Shetland shawls could be sent back to the maker for maintenance. I think it only fair for me to offer that too because I don’t want a gift to become a trouble (same as how you do not use non-machine-washable yarn for baby knits).

In general, I am very pleased with this shawl. It does pass the ring test, despite not being a traditional wedding shawl size or thickness. I do have a whole lot of actual Shetland 1-ply in my stash, so I am really looking forward to taking my Queen Ring Shawl project out of hibernation in the near future.

Reference list for Introduction

Christiansen, Carol. Shetland fine lace knitting: Recreating patterns from the past. Marlborough: Crowood, 2024.

Mann, Joanna. 'Knitting the Archive: Shetland Lace and Ecologies of Skilled Practice'. Cultural Geographies 25, no. 1 (January 28, 2017): 91–106. https://doi.org/10.1177/1474474016688911.

[withwritersblock]

Champagne Supernova

~Champagne Supernova by Oasis~

Author's note: this is inspired by the TV show My Mad Fat Diary because I was listening to this song and reminded me of the whole show. So this is loosely inspired by Rae and Finn. So this plus size reader :) Summary: Luke comforts Y/N after being nervous about being seen together.

Warnings: some triggering language regarding weight and personal image Word Count: 1,566 Luke Hughes x plus size fm!reader

She stared at her reflection contemplating if the New Jersey Devils sweater on her body was too tight. She tugged it at different places before she let out a groan. She moved towards her vanity, she sat down and pulled a headband on her head to pull her hair away from her face to get her makeup on.

Tomorrow is the stadium series for the New Jersey Devils and her long-term boyfriend Luke. They’ve been together ever since freshman year of high school. She tapped the small button beneath her vanity mirror to turn on the bright light to help her put her makeup on. 

She had soft music playing in the background as she slowly began to add primer to her skin. Luke knocked on the bedroom door before peeking his head into their shared bedroom. He smiled as he saw the hints of the forty-three on the back.

“Devils stuff looks good on you,” he mumbled as he leaned down and ran his hands from her shoulder down her sides. He delicately pressed his lips to the top of her head. She smiled softly as she began dabbing her face with her beauty blender. “I’m excited to show you off to my teammates,” he muttered before he flopped down on the beanbag sitting beside the vanity.

He tilted his head back against the wall as he admired her features. 

She has always been plus sized, well before they were in a relationship together. Luke has always found her the most beautiful girl in the world. They had three classes together their freshman year and Luke spent the majority of the first semester trying to convince her to go on a date with him.

In all honesty from the first time he asked her out, she was convinced he was doing it as a joke. It was hard to believe a handsome tall, athletic man like Luke would want someone like her. She never found herself pretty because of her weight. How could someone like him ever want someone like her?

But he did, and he spent months trying to prove to her how genuine he was. It took four months for her to finally say yes. He had spent every moment he could making sure she was happy and she was loved.

He’s been in love with her since the moment he saw her and six years later nothing has changed. At least he thought nothing had changed. 

After being drafted for the NHL and officially playing for the team this season; Y/N has felt something shift in her confidence. She’s never wavered in her confidence level throughout their relationship. The occasional thought that he was staying with her out of convenience would come into her mind. But Luke would look at her with the same look he did the first time he said ‘I love you’ and the thought would disappear. 

The more she started going to his games, she noticed the size of the other girlfriends of the players. How much more petite and bleached blonde they looked. It was hard to go up and say she was also dating one of the players. So, she never did. She would stay in the stands and watch instead of the WAGs suite.

“You’re staring,” she mutters as she begins to powder her features. 

“I don’t see you enough anymore, I miss looking at ya,” he mutters as he delicately tapped his knee against her side. She smiled softly as she continued her makeup routine. 

She felt her heart race as she continued to do her makeup. “I miss looking at you too,” she mumbled. He stood up slowly. He towered over her as he leaned down, she tilted her head back to meet his gaze. He took a hold of her chin, smiling softly as he leaned down and delicately kissed her.

He pulled away, only for a moment before he kissed her again. “Lukey,” she mumbled against his lips. He took a deep breath before pulling away only a few inches.

“I know,” he mumbled, “You have to get ready,” he let out before he planted another kiss on her lips before he slowly began to walk away. “I’m going to take a quick shower, my love,” he smiled towards her as he left the bedroom. 

It took another thirty minutes before she was done with her makeup, she was unsatisfied with how it looked. Nothing seemed to make her look how she wanted to. Her makeup wasn’t sitting right and her hair was not looking how she wanted it to. She stood in front of the mirror as she ran her hand over her sides. The curves weren’t in the right spot, nothing seemed to make her look good or feel confident. 

He knocked on the door again before he entered the room wearing the red and black Devils beanie and the bright red zip up. She forced a smile on her lips as she met his eye through the mirror. “You look beautiful,” he said as he shut the door behind him as he walked towards her. She clenched her jaw as she pursed her lips forward. He squinted his eyes, “What’s on your mind?” he asked as he delicately placed his hands on her hips. She pulled away from him, blinking rapidly.

“I don’t know if I should go,” she mumbled. His face fell as he watched her walk towards the bed.

“Why not?” he asked barely above a whisper. She pulled her lips together as she kept her gaze on the small blanket in front of her.

“Luke, there’s going to be cameras,” she let out, her voice breaking.

“So?” he pleated, “I want them to meet you! I’m always bragging about my super amazing girlfriend and they keep wanting to meet you!” he expressed, delicately reaching his hand to take a hold of her arm. She pulled her arm away from his grasp.

“And what are they going to think when they look at me?” she countered, turning her gaze to meet his eye. He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.

“Why do you care about what they think?” he asked, gesturing behind him. Her lips began to quiver as she tilted her head back.

“Because do you know how much better you could do than me?” she offered, her lips quivering. He shook his head while pursing his lips forward. “You’re a professional athlete, you could easily get some celebrity who’s skinny and pretty-”

“Where’s all of this coming from?” Luke asked, shaking his head. She paused as her mind was racing. “Y/N, since when did you think about stuff like that?”

“I’ve always thought about stuff like that! Every time we take a picture I think about how people will look at it and think,  “What’s he doing with that ugly fat ass, he could do so much better.” Fan girls are ruthless, Luke! I don’t want them to look at me and think-”

“I don’t care about what they think!” he shouted back. She rolled her eyes while letting out a huff of air.

“I do!” she yelled back. 

“The only two opinions that should matter are mine and yours!” He took a step towards her, looking deeply into her teary eyes. “I look at you and all I see is the most beautiful girl in the world!” 

“You know that’s not true,” she let out while shaking her head.

“That’s my opinion! I get to decide who I think is beautiful. I get to decide who I want to love! You have no idea how I see you. You are beautiful and sexy and smart and you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, Y/N. That’s the opinion that should matter, not what some fourteen year old girl says in a Tiktok comment,” he explained while scanning her features. 

She smiled softly as he spoke. “I love you,” she let out quietly as her voice broke. He smiled softly as he engulfed her in a hug, she blinked harshly as she leaned her head against his chest.

They hugged for a few more seconds before she pulled away, he waited until she was ready to separate. She looked into his eyes before she wiped the small tears that fell on her cheek. Her gaze looked towards the beanie that was too big for his head and a chuckle fell from her lips. 

“What?” he asked, chuckling.

“You look like the Cat in the Hat with that,” she let out as she pointed towards the hat. He rolled his eyes playfully as he wrapped his arms around her waist as he rocked her back and forth.

“The what? The what?” he asked teasingly as he swayed them back and forth. A laugh fell from their lips as he slowly pulled away from her. “You ready?” he muttered. 

“Let me fix this,” she motioned towards the small smears of mascara beneath her eyes. His mouth fell open shortly before it clammered shut. “I’ll be ready in five minutes,” she mumbled before pressing her lips against his cheek.

“Okay, Darling,” he muttered with a wide smile before he plopped down on the beanbag chair. She stared towards him suspiciously. “I like watching you do your makeup,” he mumbled. She rolled her eyes as she smiled towards him before she sat back down at her vanity.

[hoes4hoseok]

mehndi laga ke rakhna

heeseung looks for his name in your henna the night before your wedding.

pairing :: lee heeseung x gn!reader genres/au’s :: fluff warnings :: brief food talk word count :: 0.5k author’s note :: i don't care how this performs (at least i'm telling myself that) because this fic is completely self-indulgent. no one asked for this. i hope my fellow desis and everyone else who chooses to read this enjoy this nevertheless. this is so embarrassing omg DON'T LOOK AT ME. also, jaanu means dear in urdu/hindi and i used it because i'm feeling delusional. beta readers :: @sunoosill but she might have been too busy laughing at me to actually edit it LOL I APPRECIATE YOU THO <3 soundtrack :: kesariya (honestly i was listening to o re piya while writing but that song makes me sad so here)

“oh, you look beautiful,” heeseung declared from the couch, his right hand on his heart as you rounded the corner into your warmly lit living room, “do a little twirl.”

“i’m wearing pajamas, heeseung,” you protested but lifted the ends of your pajamas to spin for your fiancé with a bashful grin. 

“how long did this take?” heeseung’s eyes widened as you approached, surprised by the level of detail in your mehndi.

“five or six hours. she had to cover my feet, too,”

“five or s—” heeseung’s mouth fell agape, “i hope you got to eat and drink water.”

“i did, don’t worry,” you laughed off his comment, recalling how frantic your friends and family were to ensure you were doing just that, “and…i have a little surprise for you.”

heeseung tilted his head in curiosity, gaze fixed on you as you joined him on the sofa. “and what would that be?”

“do you remember that tradition i told you about? the one that—”

“you wrote my name in there?” a toothy smile started to form on heeseung’s lips as he gently pulled your right hand toward his face.

“just your first name,” you smiled, combing the hair that had fallen into heeseung’s face in his excitement back with your free hand. he remained focused on your hand as he used his pointer finger to follow a spiral from the center of your palm outward.

“this will be so easy,”

“if you think it’s so easy, maybe we should add some stakes,” you suggested. you tried to sound like you had just come up with this idea, but your delivery revealed that you had thought about it much beforehand. he looked up with a cocked eyebrow, always in the mood for a challenge. “if you don’t find your name in the next three minutes, i win — in which case, i get to write my name on you too. in the same spot.”

“okay, deal,” he said softly, smiling to himself as he set a timer before looking back down at your mehndi. your heart swelled with affection as he moved his touch along your forearm to check there, grazing each square inch with his soft fingers. he met your eyes momentarily, shaking his head as if to say “not on this one.”

picking up your left hand, he repeated the process, starting from the center of your palm and working outward. he paused briefly midway through tracing your fingers but continued, biting his bottom lip to conceal a grin.

“you have a terrible poker face, jaanu,” he pretended not to hear you, so you wiggled your fingers to get his attention. “i know you found it.”

“you’re so sentimental that i knew exactly where it was going to be,” heeseung admitted, curling your left index and middle fingers forward to reveal, among the scallops of the design, ‘HEESEUNG’ written along the length of your ring finger. “but i knew you wanted to write your name on my hand.”

“oh, who’s the sentimental one now, hm?” you rolled your eyes, giving a playful push to his shoulder.

heeseung reached behind himself to reveal a mehndi cone, a proud smirk on his face, “might be me,” he handed you the cone and put his left hand in yours.

“it’s definitely you,” you leaned forward, pressing a small kiss onto the corner of his grin.

masterlist

[webslingingslasher]

could you do angst -> fluff?

you and peter are long distance. someone sends you a picture of "peter" cheating. but the picture isn't peter.

Long distance relationships sucked. 

You may be biased, but you knew that long term relationships were the worst of them all. You’d put that in the same category as finding out you’ve been catfished for years. 

It could be worse, like Sadie and Dylan. Dylan moved across the country for school and watching your roommate go through the process of trying to set up date facetime calls, and scheduling calls between the hours of the night, made you feel like you didn’t have any say about yours. 

At least you and Peter were in the same time zone, he was only an hour and a half train ride away but it felt like lifetimes when for years you shared a school and zip code. You always had Peter around, and it’s very noticeable when he’s not. 

Imagine not being able to kiss your lover everyday, hold their body, or look in their eyes. 

Sadie smiled empathetically when Peter called, she got up to leave the room empty. Many times you’ve gotten out of bed at three am for a long bathroom break, you know that there are some things you tell Peter you’d never want anyone else to hear. You could extend that to Sadie as well. 

Peter’s voice was warm through the phone. 

“Hiya, baby.” 

You bit your bottom lip, too excited to keep it in. 

“Hi, handsome.” 

“Tell me three things from your day.” 

You paused to think, you knew this question would come up, you made a mental note of what to tell Peter. 

“So, the fat squirrel by park hall attacked this guy for his sandwich, and I know what you’re thinking, but that squirrel is fucking vicious. And, hm…” 

Peter shuffles around on his end. 

“Oh! My English professor is letting us have open notes midterm, and finally… I really, really missed you.” 

Peter gives you a soft chuckle, you wish you could see his face too. 

“I missed you too, also that fat squirrel? Next time I come down I wanna see him in person, pictures don’t do it justice.” 

When he comes down, he hasn’t visited in a month. Not that you can’t go see him, you make sure to take trips but he also has his aunt here, and he tries to do Spidey in the city as much as he can to keep questions to a minimum. 

“Two more, petey.” 

He hums on the line, you miss feeling his chest vibrate when he does it against your back. 

“I ate a salad for lunch,” 

“Bullshit.” You cough on the line. 

“Okay, listen here, stinky.” 

“Shots fired! I’ll hang up right now.” 

Peter whines, “you can’t! I have to tell you my third thing.” 

“Go on, I have a call to finish.” 

He scoffs, “rude, I was going to say that I may have found an out for my robotics midterm so hypothetically-” 

You squeal so loudly on the phone Peter pulls his own away from his ear, it was slightly obnoxious but knowing you were just as excited to see him made his heart melt. 

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” 

Peter gives you that boyish laugh, the one that makes your heart beat three times fast. 

“Baby, I didn’t even finish.” 

“You don’t have to! I know what you’re saying and I need you here so I can kiss your face and other stuff.” 

Peter’s tone drops seductively,  “oh? Like what other stuff?” 

“You want to see the fat squirrel right?” 

“The one in my pants?” 

“Oh my god.” 

“Okay, okay, so I was thinking I could come up on-” 

His name was called in the background, it made you pause for a second, he stopped talking for a minute. His name was called again, it was tilted, like a song almost, it was a female for sure. 

“Oh, peteyyy?” 

Your stomach dropped, that was your name for him. The name that he only liked you calling him, it was something that was so sacred and this person you don’t know saying it so loosely, like it’s regular. 

“Pete?” You say his name like you’re asking ‘who’s that?’ ‘why is she calling you that?’ ‘where are you, are you in your dorm?’ ‘why is there a girl in your room calling you my name?’ 

He coughs, “sorry, baby. I uh, I need to go but I’ll call you in a few hours, okay?” 

“Oh. Oka-” 

The line went dead. 

Your mind swimmed with dangerous thoughts, each one simmered down with the overwhelming echo that peter would never do anything like what a part of you is insinuating. Not to mention you were sure that he’d explain everything when he called you in a few hours, except when you sat around and waited, and waited, and waited, he never called. 

You fell asleep waiting on his call, you woke up with your morning alarm and checked your phone, no missed calls or texts. It felt weird, he never missed goodnight calls. It wasn’t until ten he tried to call, you had to ignore it because of your class but made a note to call him on your way back to your room.

At lunch everything shifted. 

You and some friends met up in the dining hall and you were in the middle of scarffing down fries when you tried to look up your friends ex’s new girlfriend on instagram, you were confronted with a message request. The picture and text made your hand fall, french fries scattering, you felt like you were about to puke all over the table. 

“I’m pretty sure you’re peter's girlfriend, we shared a class last semester and he talked about you all the time. I was out with some friends last night and I’m pretty sure I saw him at a bar with a girl that doesn’t look like you. If this isn’t him or if you guys aren’t together anymore please ignore this, idk i’d want someone to tell me. I’m sorry :(“ 

Sure enough the picture was grainy, definitely zoomed in from across the bar but it sure did look like him. A plaid button down you’ve seen him a million times in before, curls poked out the sides of his head, it seemed curlier and longer than you remember but it’s been a while since you saw him in person. 

His left arm was looped around the waist of a girl totally opposite of you, it looked like his other hand held her face steady as he kissed her. It made your vision go blurry, you’ve never felt this way before. Curls blocked the side of his face but it looked like him, maybe he looked taller than normal but it was a pic taken from far away, you want to question everything about it but the longer you look at it the sicker you feel. 

You shut out of the app and go back to smiling with your friends, you wonder how you’ll call him out. If you were strong enough you’d just ghost him all together, never speak to him again and make him question his insanity. 

Instead the second he called when you were home you picked it up with shaky hands. 

“Hi ba-” 

“We’re done.” 

You hung up the phone. 

It rang less than three seconds later. 

“I’m sorry, what did you-” 

“I said we’re done. Goodbye.” 

You hung up again. 

It rang even quicker, immediate redial. 

“Is this a joke?” 

“I dunno, peter. Am I?” 

“I-” 

“Save it, it doesn’t matter. We’re broken up, you can stop calling.” 

You don’t know why you thought that would settle things, if anything that made everything worse. 

The fourth time he facetimed, he only did it when he was alone, you assume he either kicked his roommate out or is biting the bullet to get teased by his friend for the rest of his life while he begs to keep his girlfriend. 

You answer, “what.” 

“I need to see your face, what are you telling me?” 

“What did you do last night?” 

Peter’s eyebrows furrow, “I don’t know, what did I do?” 

You take a deep breath, “don’t play dumb. Who was she?” 

He makes a face of realization, “Ohhhh, you mean the girl on the phone?” 

You mock his tone, “yeah, the girl on the phone. You know, the one you were making out with?” 

You hear someone cough, it’s not peter, you can imagine the dead silence that just blanketed the room. 

Peter immediately takes the defense, “I didn’t make out with anyone last night, want to take the offense louder?” 

“Someone literally texted me a picture.” 

“Okay, so let me literally see it.” 

You narrow your eyes, “I don’t have to entertain this, peter. I broke up with you and you cheated, the end.” 

Peter sits up on his end, “no, not the end. You’re throwing damaging accusations out there and not giving me any fucking context.” 

“I. got. a. text.” You paused between each word to prove a point, also a little condescendingly. 

“Show. me.” He mocked your tone. 

You let a groan rip from your throat, “it doesn’t change that you did it.” 

Peter rubs his hand down his face, “okay, fuck this. I was here all night, in my dorm room. If you want you can ask my roommate, he was here, with his girlfriend,” he enunciated the last word, “who called me petey, you know, like you do, maybe, I don’t know, mockingly?”  

His words make you think, if he was truly guilty you don’t think he’d be defending himself so hard. You would think that once he was caught he’d fold his cards, instead he’s insulted you could even assume something like that. 

You take down the threat in your voice, “but… I got a picture. And it looks just like you.” 

Peter takes your side, he may defend his but he can’t make it better by pitting against you. 

“I’m sure it does, baby, but I promise I was here all night.” 

“Peter, it looks just like you.” 

He takes a deep breath to settle his frustration, “I know, but I promise it’s not me. Why would I cheat?” 

It’s a good question, you never would’ve thought he could but the picture was damning evidence. 

“I don’t know. I didn’t think you would, but I mean pete, it looks like you. He’s even wearing your green blue plaid button down.” 

Peter’s eyes bug open, his head spins, you know he’s staring his roommate in the eyes. 

“Evan!” They both exclaim at the same time. 

Your eyebrow scrunches, “who?” 

“Hair a little longer than mine? Maybe a little taller?” 

You pull your head back, “yeah… why?” 

Peter smiles wide, “making out with a blonde? At a bar?” 

“That would be it.” 

Peter shares a high five off screen. 

“That’s our friend Evan, he was on a date. He borrowed my shirt, wasn’t me, promise.” 

You stare at the screen, he seemed authentic and desperate for you to believe him. 

“Fine. We’re still dating for now, but I need to see you and him in the same room. Preferably from the back and in the same shirt.” 

“Done. I’ll print them out and bring them when I see you next week.” 

Peter winks at the screen and you squeal at the thought of seeing him so soon. 

[halfwayhearted]

Arda Güler fic based on Fallingforyou by the 1975… so friends to lovers w a she fell first he fell harder type deal..

Fallingforyou — Arda Güler.

Pairing: Arda Güler x Fem!Reader

Summary: The TWO times you had to hide the fact that you love him + the ONE time you finally don’t have to.

Word Count: 2K+ (Hi, what the fuck.)

Disclaimers/s — Pining, fluff, angst if you squint, and done!

A/N: I love the ‘the _ times you _, the _ time you _’, ykwim. I also didn’t follow through with the song… just realized… hey. ALSO. They’ve been friends for a while, like, a long time btw.

1. The one where he comes over because you couldn’t sleep.

You never expected to call him, of all people, when you were lying awake during the night.

Though, all your doubts seemed to vanish the second he answered your call. Despite it being three in the literal morning, his voice was hoarse as he questioned, “Hey, are you okay?”

Your face reddened, and you swallowed thickly. “You were asleep, sorry, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Arda quickly uttered your name softly, stopping you from hanging up. “I wasn’t sleeping, I was just finishing my laundry. Swear. You can’t sleep, right? I can come over. I’ll be there in ten, yeah?”

He was quite literally offering to come over for your sake because you couldn’t sleep. You found yourself unable to help the small frustration that bubbled up inside you—not at him, but at yourself. If he kept doing things like this, you were sure you would be officially head-over-heels in love with him… well, not that you weren’t already.

Realizing you had yet to respond, you spoke, “Yeah. Yeah, thank you. Really. You really don’t—”

“Don’t do that. I want to, okay? I promise you.”

“I didn’t even get to finish what I was saying!”

His laugh, small but contagious, brought a smile to your lips. “I know you weren’t. But I know you. I want to. I’ll be there soon, alright? Bye.”

“Yeah—bye, Arda.” With that, the call ends.

True to his word, he arrived ten minutes later. You greeted him at the door, helped him with his coat, and led both of you to your bedroom. He picked a movie; it was the least you could let him do.

With the movie flickering in the background, you noticed your gaze kept trailing back to him. You cursed yourself internally, can you get a grip?

It was when he met your gaze that you snapped out of your thoughts. His bottom lip jutted out, making you gulp. “Something on my face?”

You stammered, “Uh, nope! Not at all.”

“Are you lying to me? You’re lying to me.”

Save yourself. “Okay, I am, I’m sorry,” you grinned sheepishly, leaning forward and using your thumb to wipe off the imaginary residue of the chips you both had been eating. You felt your breath hitch in your throat; Arda didn’t notice. The proximity between the two of you was… stop. Just leave it.

But the intensity of his gaze made your heart ache with the urge to spill your feelings:

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love—

“Did you get it?” He asked, making you stiffen.

Quickly, you pull back and nod, “Yup! Got it.”

2. The one where he picks you up from a date-gone-wrong.

It had only been two weeks since your almost, semi… slip-up. You decided you needed to get over this, over him, as soon as possible. Now.

It was so very clear that he didn’t feel the same, though you didn’t know how you arrived to that conclusion. He didn’t exactly show that he didn’t, but he also didn’t show that he did. And that right there was enough to make you tighten your grip on the napkin placed delicately on your lap.

That’s the reason you were even here in the first place. You had agreed to your friend’s blind date setup. She had always believed it would be you and Arda, well, forever. However, after countless hours of listening to you vent about how he doesn’t feel the same, she figured this might be the only way for you to finally... get over him.

You hoped it did. You really did.

Alas, not all hopes are fulfilled.

The guy just droned on about himself for hours, completely ignoring you—what you do, what you like, what you love. You were tired and annoyed.

You concocted an excuse to cut the date short, paid for just your meal, said your goodbyes, and slipped out through the back. Of course, it was raining—just your luck! Exactly what you needed.

Whipping out your phone, you hesitated over your friend’s contact. She was busy. You knew she was. Arda wasn’t. How did you know? Because his last message to you was, ‘Have fun, let me know how it goes. I’ll be watching a movie.’

Have fun? Totally. With a brave resolve, you click ‘call’ and quickly press your phone to your ear, tapping your fingers incessantly on your pants as you wait for him to answer. If he answers.

Please answer.

“Hey, it’s done already?” His voice fills your ears. The question makes you sigh in response. He says your name quietly, “Is it—are you outside?”

“What? Oh. Oh, yes, I am.”

What? Even though you couldn’t see him, Arda’s eyebrows raise almost instantly at that. “It’s raining. Where’s your date? Are you by yourself?”

"Well, I left. God, it was awful," you complained, running a hand over your face. "He just kept going on and on about himself, never once asking how my day was. Is that—it was such a simple thing!”

He says your name, “You could get sick.”

“Yeah, I’m aware. My hair took so long to do too.”

“I know, I know—just, go back inside!”

You ignore him, “Can you come get me, please?”

“I’m already on my way, go back inside,” he echoed. The sound of his air conditioning blowing through the speaker made you let out a breath of relief. “I’ll be right there. Don’t go anywhere.”

As if I could, you muttered to yourself while he hung up the phone, wiping it against your sweater and shoving it back into your pocket.

You didn’t go back inside. One, you didn’t want to. Two, you actually couldn’t. It was locked. Closed.

Instead, you found a bench nearby and sat down, your gaze drawn to the neon signs across the street. It wasn’t even raining that badly, it was a slight sprinkle. It obviously didn’t seem that way when he came, parked, and hurried out with an umbrella. “I thought I told you to go back inside.”

“Hey,” you frowned, “It was closed. It’s all closed.”

Arda huffed, holding the umbrella above you both, his expression softening at the sight of you shivering. It wasn’t that bad, just a little. Gently grasping your arm, he pulled you up and took your hand in his, guiding it to the pocket of his hoodie. You welcomed the warmth, your other hand shoved into your jean pocket. Just as you were about to speak, you felt the subtle rub of his thumb against your knuckles. Oh. My. God.

He was driving you absolutely crazy.

You felt like a mannequin being moved around when he walked you to his car, opened the passenger side door, helped you inside, and even buckled your seatbelt. How could you go on dates when the man you truly wanted was right here?

You were so lost in a daze that you didn’t even realize he was taking off his hoodie and slipping it over your head and onto your torso until you heard him ask, “How’s that?”

Looking up at him, you opened your mouth to respond, “Arda, I—” love you. Don’t. Clamping your mouth shut, you nodded and thanked him.

All he did was nod, smile, and shut your door.

Maybe next time.

3. The one where you can’t hold back anymore and confess.

Even after a week, you still kept his hoodie.

As soon as he dropped you off, you stripped it off and washed it, determined to give it back the next time you saw him... but you didn’t stick to that.

You saw him three times. You never gave it back.

It wasn’t because you didn’t want to, even though you really didn’t want to; it was mostly because you forgot. You lacked the warm clothes you needed, and his hoodie fulfilled that need. So—

Your phone rang, making you quirk a brow.

Picking up your phone, a sense of curiosity washed over you when you saw Arda’s contact name and photo on the screen.

With a bit of hesitation, you answer. “Hey… you.”

“Hey, are you home?”

“Yeah, I am! Are you okay? Do I need to pick you up from a bad date or something?”

He laughs, “You wish.”

No. No, you don’t wish. “Yup… I do.”

“I just wanted to call and tell you that I’m out front, can you let me in? Please?”

Out front? “You’re—why are you here? I mean, I’ll open my door, you’re always welcome, obviously.”

“Am I not allowed to visit my best friend?” The moment those words left his mouth, a bitter tinge rose within you. Best friend. Right, of course.

Swallowing hard, you managed to laugh, “Yeah, yeah, you are. I’m on my way. See you in a bit.”

Entering your living room, you grabbed the doorknob and swung the door open. Even though you expected him, the sight of him made your heart skip a beat. As you allowed him inside, Arda muttered a small, quiet “thank you” while walking in, watching as you smiled and shut the door.

“You cleaned, huh? It looks nice. My hoodie?”

“Your—right. It’s warm! And for your information, I always clean,” you replied, “…every other day. Is there anything you wanted to do? I have snacks, board games—oh! Can we watch a horror movie?”

You notice the way the corners of his lips twitch at your enthusiasm. “It is October, isn’t it?”

A hum, “It is!”

“Then, of course. Anything you want,” he said.

Anything you want. His words reverberated in your mind. Did he like you? Did he not?

Arda murmurs your name, his head tilting, and he steps closer. “Hey, are you okay? You seemed to shut down on me for a second there.”

“No, yeah. I’m okay. Just… deciding on which horror movie we should watch. It’s crucial, really.”

A lie. He knew it. “That’s a lie. You’re lying to me.”

“No, I already thought of about five we could watch and finish by tomorrow,” a pause, “We should probably start now if we want to finish.”

He says your name once again, and the way he’s looking at you makes you want to just tell him how you feel. ‘Maybe next time,’ you had told yourself. Now’s the time. But... was it actually?

His gaze flickers over your features, sending a shiver down your spine. It was concern, worry, and… something else. Something you couldn’t quite grasp, but it practically gnawed at you.

You’d reached your limit. “Don’t do that, Arda.”

His eyebrows knit together. “Do what?”

Like you could actually love me, you had thought. Then, when you saw him stiffen, you realized you hadn’t just thought it—you had said it.

Embarrassed. Completely and utterly sick.

“Okay, I didn’t—sorry, I’m sorry,” you sputtered, shaking your head and stepping away from him. “You should go. Yeah, please go. I—”

His hands cupping your jaw were enough to make you shut your mouth. “Stop. Please, stop.”

“I’m embarrassed! This is so embarrassing.”

“Why? Why’re you embarrassed?” He inquired, eyes narrowing, “Hey, listen, I love you.”

No. No. No. “You’re just saying that.”

The man shakes his head, “It’s always been you.”

You don’t believe that. How could you? “Are you lying? If you are, that is so not funny.”

A shaky laugh escapes his lips. “I love you. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to tell you.”

“I have no idea?” You scoffed playfully, still in disbelief. “You have no idea! I was—how long?”

“It was the second you told me you were going on a date, that was… when I realized,” he explains, his face flushed. He lets out a breath. “All I remember was wishing it was me, me who asked you out, me who got to be by your side all night. Hearing how he didn’t care enough to get to know you, it annoyed me more than it should’ve.”

I remember wishing it was me.

You didn’t even know what to say; the only words capable of leaving your lips were, “Does this mean I’m able to keep your hoodie?”

He nods, his tongue poking the side of his cheek, “Yes, you can keep it. Anything you want.”

Likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated ^_^.

DT(s) — @pedrilcvr ! ౨ৎ

[zumek0]

draft 05; fushiguro, m.

↪︎ angst but very mild?, comfort, college/university au, no curses au, reader is very stressed.

↝ summary: megumi comforts you after you break down due to academic stress.

There’s a feeling of pressure on your chest, and a growing pit of despair in your stomach. You fucked up. Big time. Your teacher had given you a topic to make a presentation about a month ago and yet here you were, a week before your due date, not even having a clue of what the hell the topic was. As you stare into the google calendar tab open in your laptop you realize that not only were you supposed to present the topic in a week, but also turn in two different group assignments and an individual one. On the same day.

Almost mechanically you pick up your phone and open the messenger app. 

Megumi’s always been more of a night owl. His body is used to staying awake until sunlight threatens to spill over the horizon. He knows it’s not healthy but even if he tries to sleep at a normal, decent hour his mind remains restless. So he does what he’s able to: assignments, projects, pre-reading for lectures, reading books he enjoys or has been wanting to read, listen to music, make playlists with songs that fit the vibe of a very specific picture of you he has in his gallery, watch a movie, etc. 

It’s 11:56 p.m. when his phone starts vibrating over and over again. He can’t help the feeling of irritation that bubbles up inside him, thinking that Yuuji or Nobara are spamming the group chat with TikTok slideshows of “ask your friends which ‘blank’ are you!”. Although the feeling is immediately replaced with worry and slight curiosity when he sees it’s you who has been spamming him for three minutes straight.

His eyebrows furrow when he notices you’re texting with correct spelling, no emojis, no jokes in the middle of the conversation and capitalizing the first letter of every text. He reads over the messages you’ve sent so far to grasp an understanding of the situation. When he gets to the bottom of the chat, he gets up and grabs his shoes and keys while still paying attention to the still incoming messages you’re sending him.

You’re startled when you hear a soft knock at your door, stilling your fingers from expertly moving across the keyboard on your phone. Your eyes remain on the door while you wait for the sound to repeat itself, just in case you misheard or imagined it. Your phone vibrates softly on your hands, displaying a text from Megumi: “open the door”. You get up and do as he ordered. 

Once he’s inside your small campus room, he speaks. “Okay, now tell me everything slowly.” You do.

“… oh, did I also mention that I have two midterms that same week? And that quiz that we were supposed to present last week but the teacher changed last minute.” You can feel the headache creeping up your spine. You bring your hands to your head and rub your temples.

“And I know what you’re gonna say: ‘complaining about it isn’t gonna help you at all’” you make your voice sound deeper and more monotone to make it sound like his, “It’s just- It’s really frustrating. I don’t know why I can’t seem to just sit down and do things, like you do!”. 

He doesn’t say anything and you’re thankful for that. “It’s like—I know I have stuff to do, and I know it’s very important that I do it right. But I just can’t seem to ever find the motivation to do it. And then I’m left in spots like this one where I’m gonna have to pull a miracle out of my ass to actually turn in everything I have to turn in this week.” He listens to your rant patiently. Even rubbing your thigh when he notices your eyes crystallizing and tears starting to well up in the corners of your eyes.

After sitting in silence for what feels like hours, he finally speaks. “Do you want reassurance or a solution?” “Both. More reassurance though.” You both move to make yourselves more comfortable. 

He’s sitting down in the floor with his back against the side of your mattress. One of his legs is bent and the other is stretched. Your head is now resting on his outstretched thigh. His long fingers find themselves running through your hair, an action that you commonly direct towards him whenever he finds himself unable to fall asleep while sleeping over in your room.

“I think you’re gonna make it out of this.” His voice Is soft, but assertive. “And yes, you have some awful time-management skills that we need to work on,” a snort leaves your nose “However last time you were able to give that other presentation while only having studied two days prior. If you try hard enough, everything will be okay. We’ll be okay. I’m gonna help you.”

You’re pretty sure the tears are running down your face at this point. You sniff tour nose. “Thank you.” Megumi leans down and gives your forehead a kiss. “But now, we need to get some rest. We both have early clases tomorrow. Well, today, technically.”

You get up from your position and make it to your bed. He’s hugging you while your head is on top of his chest. From this position you’re able to hear his heartbeat slowly lulling you to sleep.

can you tell i’m proyecting with this one? i literally wrote it at midnight. stress is eating me alive, so please excuse me if this seems like a self insert. i know people who are currently dealing with a lot in uni, so i hope this can help you if you’re going through the same.

—han

[haikyu-mp4]

Hi! Your Haikyuu x 1D event sounds so exciting! I was initially going to request Better Than Words with Nishinoya but it's no longer available 🙈 If it's still available, could I please listen to I Would with Nishinoya instead? I love the song but I always found it sad. If it's still available, I'm excited to see how you write it, I'd always choose Noya over anyone ❤️ Thank you for doing this! Hope you're doing good!

Now playing... I Would

word count; 624 – gn!reader, for my 1D x Haikyu event

Training camp is not for the weak. That’s what Nishinoya said as he was forming an alliance with Tanaka and Yamamoto so that the three of them could protect their precious managers.

Kiyoko had managed to recruit you around the same time as Yachi, meaning you were still quite new to the volleyball club. Because Nishinoya was in your class, he saw it as his responsibility to make sure you were comfortable and happy. It might also be because of his huge crush on you, but that’s still up for debate.

Every moment he’s not immersed in a practice game, he’s keeping a watchful eye on you. His mental reports mostly say “smiling”, “looking cute” and “clapping, probably for me”, so he’s happy with the progress so far. You seem to be settling in very well.

Until there’s a break, and while he’s chugging down more water than what should fit in his body, he sees you flirting it up with Kuroo, standing between two of the courts.

Kuroo could never be the right guy for you. He could never treat you the way Nishinoya would. He’s also way too tall, it would be bad for your neck.

Noya’s gasp was audible and made you turn your head, only to see your favourite libero with his teeth practically bared like an animal. You chuckled under your breath, shaking your head and telling Kuroo good luck on his next game.

When you returned to your team’s side, you bumped your elbow into Nishinoya’s arm. “Hey there, tiger. Ready for the next set?”

Nishinoya lifted his chin with that cheeky smile on his lips. “Always.”

He acted like usual, most of the time. Nothing could disturb his focus as Karasuno’s guardian. However, any time off the court, his attention is dedicated to you.

Nishinoya watched as Kuroo offered up his dessert to you after dinner. As he made you swoon with his undeniable charm.

And as you’re on dishwashing duty one of the last evenings, Nishinoya strolls into the room and practically scares the life out of you. “Has he said he’s in love with you?”

“Who?” His hair is still dripping, he must have just washed up. You put down what you were doing and shake the soapy water off your hands.

“That boyfriend of yours, Kuroo Tetsuro.”

“Kuroo?” You laughed but then did a double-take. “Boyfriend?!” By now, Noshinoya had crossed his arms, and you almost wondered if you were in trouble.

“Has he said he’s in L-O-V-E? Because I would.”

“You… would?” you ask slowly, not quite understanding what the problem is. Noya walks closer and puts one hand on each of your upper arms.

“You’re literally so cool and pretty.” You looked down at each of his hands and then back at his face with wide eyes.

“Thank you,” you squeaked. “But Kuroo isn’t my boyfriend.”

Noshinoya blinked once, twice, and then quickly let go of you. A light blush blossomed on his cheeks as he realised he might have gotten ahead of himself there. “Right. That’s what I came in here to ask you…”

By now you’ve ditched your confusion to laugh at him, one hand covering your mouth so it wouldn’t be so loud. “Then the answer is no! But I appreciate the compliments.”

Noya chuckled, never one to falter for long. At least you’re laughing and not just awkwardly crawling away from him. “You can have as many as you want.”

“Because you’re in L-O-V-E?” Nishinoya thought his heart might beat out of his chest because that smug look on your face right then was exactly what made him fall so hard in the first place. The same look you had after naming his signature move rolling thunder.

“Exactly.”

masterlist

[sehodreams]

sex money feelings die - fifth visit

fourth visit ↬ fifth visit ↬ sixth visit (tba)

WC: 5.5k

TW and Tags (permanent for the story): rich client!Anton x stripper!reader, smut, fluff (?), a touch of angst for the moment, inexperienced reader, fingering, kissing, masturbation, lots of silly conversations.

Summary: Working at a night club was difficult in many aspects, your sleep schedule was messed up for life, your feet were more used to high heels than sneakers and you had to lie about where you went to work those nights. Still, even with all those cons, you didn't hate your job, you had more than enough to pay your bills, feed your brother and save money for his college. However, what happens when your boss makes you do the one thing you asked to never do.

You carried his card everywhere, you hadn’t call him, but you liked to watch it every time you opened your wallet.

A music producer, you repeated on your mind. It fitted him, he always knew what songs you talked about and even gave you options you listened from time to time when you remembered him.

Still, you couldn’t understand what he was doing coming to a place like Shotaro’s club, you were sure he could easily get a pass in any other club that had his favorite drinks in the menu, and he wouldn’t have to carry his own every time he visited, unlike the place you worked at.

Not that your club was ugly, it had good clients, all of them coming to see you and your gorgeous coworkers, but you had heard of better places that let them do more to the girls, some of them even allowed them to request sexual services, something they would never get here.

Anton had been the only one until now, and you didn’t like the thought of how it all started, but at least Anton had been respectful with you and hadn’t touched you until you asked for it.

You blushed.

You couldn’t forget what had happened on Monday.

Every time you went to sleep you would remember how his long fingers felt inside you and how good he looked under you. The taste of his mouth and the wine was also impregnated on your tongue, not daring to look at a bottle of wine even if none of them were like his.

‘’Is there anything wrong?’’ one of the girls asked when she saw you all lost looking at your phone.

‘’Oh, it’s nothing, just a little tired, and now we’ll have to entertain the pretty boys, I was thinking what to drink to survive the night’’ you smiled and exhaled. It was Friday and they would arrive in a couple of hours.

She nodded, ‘’Yes, but I heard Anton had something to do, I don’t think he’ll come today.’’

‘’Who told you that?’’ you asked confused.

‘’My boy told me the last time they came that Anton and another of his friends may not come today since they had a big meeting or something like that, and they couldn’t move it.’’

You nodded to it, bewildered since Anton hadn’t say a single word when he came on Monday. ‘’I see, well, I guess I should get ready for a show then’’ you tried to not look too surprised.

She stood up and walked out, leaving you alone in the room, and when you felt that no one would come in, most of them grabbing a quick snack in the kitchen before the doors opened, you grabbed your phone and introduced his number.

You watched it on your screen, the many digits intimidated you and you thought about just not calling him, but your finger pressed the green bubble before you could choose.

Not even three rings sounded, and he answered. ‘’Hello?’’ his voice sounded deeper through the phone, more serious than the usual soft tone he used with you, and you almost got weak in your seat.

Biting the inside of your cheek your breath flattered and you felt the nervousness creep behind your back before you could talk, ‘’Hi’’ was the only thing you could say.

‘’Hi’’ his voice changed to the same tone he always used with you, you even heard how he let out a relaxed sigh, making you picture him with his typical soft grin. ‘’I was waiting for your call’’ he murmured.

‘’Yeah well, Shotaro finally told me how much the cleaning fees are.’’

Shotaro hadn’t even spoken to you about it, the only thing he did when he saw it was shrug, shake his head, look at you and walk away, leaving you there next to Sungchan who looked at you and murmured, rich people wine smell different, uh? making you nod before you ran away to hide your blush.

‘’Oh really? And how much is it?’’ he asked, honestly curious.

‘’Are you sitting? Because you may pass out, they will leave you broke.’’

You heard his breathy laugh on the other side of the line.

‘’I’ll make sure to ask for a discount then.’’

‘’I think you should, I can go with you to his office today if you want, he kind of owes me one for teaching the new waitress the basics.’’

Silence.

You gulped and started to bite your cheek again, nervous to not hear him smoothly talk like he always did.

He hummed before he continued, ‘’I think we’ll have to postpone that, I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to go today. I have an important meeting tomorrow and all my team is staying the night to check the last details.’’

You tried to not sound disappointed, ‘’I see’’.

Recognizing that hint of sadness in your tone, he blamed himself for not telling you sooner, ‘’Sorry, I wanted to tell you when we met this Monday but… well, you know we didn’t talk much.’’

‘’Oh.’’

Anton closed his eyes, and his smile came back to him because he knew you were blushing, there, alone, waiting for him, and his hand gripped his phone trying to not remember you that day, he had too many people waiting for him behind the door in front of him to get swayed your way and risk a whole deal just to go and see you for a couple of hours.

But he couldn’t lie to himself, he was already thinking about you even before you called him. He had gone out for a bottle of water when you popped his mind and didn’t let him concentrate on what one of his workers was saying, and just like a miracle his phone had started to sound inside his pocket before he entered the room after deciding to go back and completely forget you to focus on his work again. The screen showed an unknown number, and even if he didn’t know who it belonged to, it made his heart skip before he answered with the hope it was you who called.

‘’I’ll see you this Monday, promise, but meanwhile, do you mind if I call you later? And that means, tomorrow, and the day after, and maybe Monday too.’’

‘’I do mind, if you wake me up, I’ll block you’’ you denied.

He chuckled and nodded, already used to your sharp answers. ‘’Then what about a text?’’ he offered.

‘’Better, but please don’t forget about your debt, the poor couch suffered because of us so I’ll ask for the discount, don’t worry.’’

‘’This girl…’’ his breathy laugh sounded for a couple of long seconds, making you smile, happy of being the cause of it, ‘’I already paid him.’’

You covered your mouth, so he didn’t hear you chuckle, and hanged up.

Choosing your outfit for the night, you tried to think on anything else that wasn’t how you wouldn’t be able to see him later. It was good, you tried to convince yourself, there were many clients that probably missed you those weeks, and you shouldn’t neglect them if you didn’t want to lose them.

Shotaro saw you in the bar having some small talk with the girls that served drinks and told you that you could go to the VIP room if you wanted, after all, one of the girl that accompanied Anton’s friend that wouldn’t come was still going, but you rejected the idea immediately, if he wasn’t there, you didn’t feel like staying the whole night with the group.

When his group arrived all the girls ran to the second VIP room, excited to see their favorite clients and have their fun, while Sungchan, seeing you go to the other direction, to the scenario, without much thinking said, ‘’Ow angel, won’t your pretty boy come tonight?’’

‘’He has work stuff, but better, I needed a break’’ you replied with a smile, and Sungchan, finding the disappointment you tried to mask with your uninterested tone adorable, patted your naked back before he followed the other girls.

Luckily the night ended fast, you did a couple of shows and one of your past regulars called you for a private dance, giving you a good tip saying how much he had missed you the last weeks, ‘’You’ll always be my favorite’’ he said, and you, by instinct, said that he was your favorite too, but you perfectly knew how much of a lie that was.

The night finished without much emotion and you went home as early as you could, it was only four in the morning when you were already standing in your door, two sandwiches in a bag courtesy of Sungchan charming the kitchen lady with his smile, and you accepted them gladly, relieved of not having to make breakfast for your brother, who was sound asleep in his room after studying until late.

Walking as silently as you could, you cleaned your living room a little bit, just tossing old packages and watching that there wasn’t nothing dirty. Your brother, even if he had an even worse schedule than you, always made sure to leave the place as clean as he could, and there wasn’t much for you to do, dishes washed, kitchen table clean and trash can empty.

You sat in the darkness and exhaled, feeling extremely alive for the hour and tired as hell because of the long trip at the same time.

After washing yourself you felt more at ease, hair wet and rolled with a towel because you couldn’t turn on the hairdryer at that hour, and you decided to do something you only did on special occasions.

You searched your client’s name, in this case Anton, online.

You got surprised with the quantity of results there, you had never had a client as famous as him, with so many profiles and articles with his name, it seems he had already produced a couple of popular songs, not many, but enough to let him have a name in the industry, and you, sitting in the border of your old mattress with what used to be a beige bedsheet, pale after so many washes, felt a struck of reality.

Why would he treat you so well when he could go and have an actual connection with a girl as popular, or even more than him, in real life?

You read as many articles as you could, not believing your eyes but at the same time smiling with the praises he had received despite his young age, all of them talking about the future he could (and will) have, a music producer in the company of his family, a life already bright enough to always let him go to bed in peace and never worry about tomorrow, and you did it until your alarm brought you back and you had to go and wake up your brother.

He was a heavy sleeper, you sometimes wondered how he would be able to live without you if he couldn’t wake up with the five alarms he put on his cellphone, but while you could, you would wake him up with pleasure.

Knocking his door, you went to the bathroom and started to dry your hair, thinking in what you would have to cook for dinner and leaving what you read about Anton well behind your mind, because if you remembered it every time you looked at him, you would start getting conscious of yourself, which would definitely change your tone with him, and wouldn’t let you talk as free as you’ve been doing until now.

Not much later you got exactly what you wanted, concentrating on your brother, his dinner and your own breakfast, with the help of the news in the background and the rush of the hour, you forgot him.

However, Anton must have a signal to go back and fill your mind with him whenever you completely forgot him, because when you were about to go to sleep after a long night and morning, ready to not think at all for at least the next five hours, you saw a text from him.

You saw it in real time how the little notification appeared while you watched a video, a message so short and direct that had you smiling and rolling your eyes before you decided to answer.

Are you awake?

You could ignore it and pretend you didn’t see it, but having the opportunity to tease him, you couldn’t lose it just like that.

Sleeping.

Nothing.

You waited for him to answer in the chat, there was no bubble moving showing that he was writing, but he did read it, it appeared like that, and he was online too.

You imagined him reading your message and nodding, thinking ‘’so she’s asleep…’’, ready to not bother you anymore, and you laughed, trying to guess how much time would take him to notice that you had lied.

Minutes passed by, and when you were finally drifting to sleep, your ringtone started to sound.

‘’…I hate you’’ he said when you accepted his call.

‘’Maybe I should hang up then.’’

‘’No’’ he interrupted you, ‘’It’s just… I really believed you for a second, I was ready to not bother you anymore.’’

His breathy laugh made you smile, and you decided to not tell him that you were actually about to sleep, and he had woken you up with his call.

‘’It’s pretty early, why are you calling me at this hour?’’ you didn’t sound angry, just intrigued, had he gone to his meeting? Was he calling you right before his meeting? You wanted to know what pushed him to talk to you at 8 am.

‘’I wanted to know how your night was, the boys told me you didn’t go to the VIP room.’’

You hummed, moving your phone closer to your ear, to hear him better. ‘’I wasn’t needed, the girls were just fine without me.’’

‘’You could’ve gone to rest a little bit, I still paid Shotaro for your time’’ he confessed.

‘’What?’’ you were so surprised you had to sit.

Shotaro hadn’t say anything to you when you left, well, not that you waited for him either, you just grabbed your share of the night and left the rest with Sungchan when he gave you the food.

The point was, you didn’t understand why Anton paid when he didn’t spend the night with you.

‘’Why?’’ you simply couldn’t understand.

‘’I wasn’t going to leave you just like that, it was the least I could do, to be honest, I wanted to give you even more for not seeing you last night, but I thought that maybe it would be a bit too much, even your boss looked at me weird when I said I would still pay.’’

‘’Anton…’’ you couldn’t believe how much he thought about you to do something like that.

And just like you were afraid of, you started to remember all the articles you read and how much they talked wonders about him.

A respectable young man ready to take the industry, and the world, in his hands.

They had no idea how awesome, and impressive, and kind, he really was.

‘’You didn’t have to do that, you didn’t see me yesterday, you got nothing out of that.’’

‘’But I wanted to, if I didn’t, I would’ve felt bad the next time I saw you, thinking how I made you lose your night just because I was busy.’’

‘’Anton, if you don’t come, I can still work’’ you tried to make him understand, ‘’the next time you don’t have to do that.’’

He didn’t answer.

You heard his breathing through the phone and your hand started to play with the border of your shirt. You didn’t know what to say, and suddenly you felt like you couldn’t talk with him like you had been doing, because you really were on different positions, and for you it didn’t make sense how he always had you in his mind and treated you that good when he could do a lot better.

‘’Well… then you won’t like what I bought for you to show how sorry I was.’’

‘’Anton!’’ you called his name louder than expected.

‘’I’m joking’’ he said, happy that you didn’t sound as tense anymore.

He didn’t have to see you to notice the little things about you, even your silence talked for you, and he had sensed how you suddenly got uncomfortable after he admitted how he had paid.

‘’Don’t you have a meeting?’’ you asked after he finished laughing at you.

‘’I already had it, everything went well, I guess talking to you last night gave me luck.’’

‘’Please stop.’’ You begged, not being able to endure his lines anymore.

Perhaps that’s why his songs are so popular, you thought, because you had never met someone able to create corny lines as fast as him.

‘’I was about to sleep, I wanted to hear you one last time before I passed out.’’

‘’I was about to sleep too.’’

He hummed.

You stayed in silence a minute, just hearing each other’s breathing and the bedsheets on his side ruffling with his movements. You were still on your place, only playing with your shirt and waiting for him to talk.

‘’There was something I wanted to talk about… you know, about what we did this Monday.’’

You gulped.

You didn’t expect him to talk about it, you didn’t expect a conversation about it at all.

‘’I wanted to say that… I don’t want you to think you have to do it because I pay you.’’

‘’I know’’ you were quickly to reply.

You did it because you wanted, not because of anything else, not because of the money, or the alcohol, or Shotaro, and you had worked hard to help you go around the next days with an easy mind. You were a big girl, and you could do that kind of thing without feeling guilty anymore.

Anton had been nothing but respectful to you all those days, and you couldn’t let him think that you did it for anything that wasn’t your decision based on how good he treated you.

‘’I think I made myself clear the first days’’ you continued, ‘’I wouldn’t have let you touch me if I didn’t want to.’’

‘’You’re right’’ he sounded relieved on the other side. ‘’Then… is it okay if we do it again? I mean, did you like it?’’

There was no one in your house, you were completely alone, and your door was closed, but you still whispered, as if you were about to say something wrong, or, more than wrong, inappropriate, something that no one else, apart from him, should hear.

‘’I liked it’’ you admitted.

‘’I’m glad, I liked it too.’’

Your mind started to reply that night.

Without thinking, like every night when you remembered it, your arousal started to appear, pouring out of you with the expectations of feeling him again. The image of him under you brought a pression in your abdomen you weren’t used to feel before that occasion, of course you had felt excited before, but the way Anton had showed you how capable he was of driving you into that kind of pleasure made it a lot more intense, almost painful and that made it impossible for you to not move uncomfortable on your seat.

You closed your eyes and exhaled through your nose, trying to control yourself and your mind from making you feel like that with him, not physically there with you, but still there.

‘’You’re thinking about it too, right?’’ he asked you.

You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how right he was.

‘’Are you?’’

‘’You have no idea how much I think about it, I do it every day, every hour.’’

Me too, you closed your eyes again hearing his voice say something so bold without feeling ashamed of it, he was using a different voice, it wasn’t the one he used when he tried to maintain a conversation with you in the club, or the one he used when he answered his phone when he didn’t know it was you who called him, it was deeper, a lot more mature and confident, like the one he used when he made you cum over his lap with his fingers inside you.

A whimper almost escaped your throat and you hided it with a cough, trying to think a way to change the aura of the conversation.

‘’I’m sure you’re getting wet, that day you were dripping all over my hand’’ he then said, and you couldn’t help but gulp again, the faint sound telling him everything he needed to know.

Anton imagined you lying down over his bed, right next to him, with your hand between your thighs, looking at him with those teary eyes, and that was enough for him to get hard.

Every day he imagined the same thing, you over his designer bedsheets, with the little light of his lamp beside his bed, your pretty face frowning and calling his name while your hand played with yourself, waiting for him in his apartment, getting ready for him to take you after a long day at work.

Just that occasion was enough to push the last little will he had to contain himself, he didn’t know how would he be able to face you and not touch you the next time he had you in front of him, but he wanted to leave everything clear before that, he wanted to make sure you enjoyed it as much as he did.

He needed you, and making him feel like a teenager again, every day he dreamed of you, he thought of you, and he jerked off with the memory of you.

‘’Anton…’’ your voice made him look down to his now hard member and groan.

‘’I want to hear you’’ his tongue had to wet his lips, dry of thirst for you, ‘’touch yourself, please.’’

He was begging with such urgency you didn’t know how to say no, and even more, you didn’t want to say no.

Your mind was already telling you to touch yourself like he had done that day, it wouldn’t be the same, you had already tried it those days without him, but it would help you soothe the pain.

‘’I don’t…’’ you wanted to confess how it wasn’t the same if they weren’t his fingers, but you felt your face burn just with the thought of it.

‘’I’ll tell you what to do’’ he interrupted you, ‘’so… will you be good for me?’’

Fuck, you wanted to be good for him.

‘’…Okay’’

Anton pulled down his pants and his underwear, just enough to leave his cock free, which jumped to the sound of you lying over your bed and getting comfortable for him.

‘’What are you wearing?’’ he asked, and just his voice made you get more wet inside your panties.

‘’A t-shirt… and panties.’’

‘’No pants? Isn’t it too cold for that?’’

You couldn’t tell him that you were more used to the coldness because of your work, you felt a lot more comfortable wearing just that at night, and thankfully your apartment was warm enough, it was old, but the winter was bearable.

In summer it was hell though.

‘’I can’t sleep with pants.’’

‘’I can’t sleep with t-shirts, I guess we’re the perfect pair.’’

You bit your lip to not laugh, but he knew you wanted to do it, so he laughed for you.

‘’I can give you all my t-shirts if you want, I don’t mind.’’

‘’Okay’’ you answered, surprising him. He expected you to tell him to stop, but that answer satisfied him even more.

‘’Okay’’ he repeated, ‘’that way, the next time you miss me, and I can’t be with you, at least you’ll have my t-shirt to think of me.’’

That sounded too good, he imagined you wearing his shirt and playing with your clit, drenching the back of it, and he liked the idea so much his cock bounced in front of his eyes.

You, on the other hand, only imagined how comfortable you would feel with his smell lingering around you at night.

‘’Now…’’ he interrupted your thoughts, ‘’don’t take it off, just lift it, as if you were showing me your chest.’’

You felt so embarrassed you just gripped your shirt, eyes closing with force and your mind telling you to follow his words but your conscience too awake and clear now to do it.

‘’I can hear you not moving, I thought you’d be good for me’’ he had already guessed you weren’t going to make the things that easy for him, but he still expected you to do better, for him, ‘’This is the only time in which I won’t tolerate you fooling me.’’

He was right, and feeling the weight of his words, your hand didn’t doubt to lift your t-shirt this time, feeling the morning coldness impact your whole torso, nipples slightly hardening.

He could hear your breath hitching and the fabric of your clothes moving, feeling content with you listening to him this time, maybe he had to be stern with you in bed, he thought, to show that he could play in any other moment, except that one.

‘’Well done.’’

You licked your lips while your eyelids fluttered with his words, you wanted him to continue talking to you like that, so forward and authoritative, as if he knew exactly what you needed.

‘’Play with your nipples, just like how you want me to touch them’’ his hand lifted his shirt to his abdomen, just to rest his hand over it and imagine it was you who was touching him.

You did what he said, and touching your right one with the tip of your finger, you decided it wasn’t how you wanted him to touch you, so to add more intensity, with your whole palm you grabbed your tit, too big for your own hand, and massaged it until your thumb and your index finger pressed your little bud with more force.

That’s how you want him to touch you, with more force, to not be as delicate, he wouldn’t break you, and when you closed your eyes, you could see his big hand cupping you completely without problem.

He heard you breathing get harder, not louder, just with more difficulty, and he could imagine those beautiful nipples begging for him to give them a taste.

The last time he couldn’t, but the next time he definitely would, he had no reasons to stop himself anymore.

‘’How do you feel?’’ he asked when he heard you sigh.

‘’Good, it feels good.’’

He cursed in his mind, what he would give to be there and touch you, and make you feel good with his own hands.

‘’Shit, you’re going to make me cum just with your voice.’’

You moaned.

‘’Don’t say that…’’

‘’Why?’’

‘’Because I want you to cum with me.’’

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Of course you’d drop a bomb like that one, he should learn by that point that you always surprised him for the best in moments like that one, so sweet, and tender, and perfect for him.

‘’Touch your clit, like I did that day’’ he said as he could, one hand going to wrap his member while his thumb spread the pre cum leaking in his tip.

It was already hurting him, but he was so focused on your voice he had forgotten about himself.

‘’It feels good’’ you moaned again, suddenly feeling your own fingers good, not like the previous night you had tried to touch you, it finally felt good.

‘’What I would give to be the one touching you right now.’’

‘’Anton‘’ you cried.

You were using just one finger, flicking your clit up and down and thinking it was him touching you.

‘’Don’t be afraid of using more than one finger, like I did, do it just like I did’’ he ordered, and you obeyed.

You tried to make the same motion, up and down, feeling your juices making a mess inside your panties.

He didn’t lie, you really were dripping for him.

It was so wet, you felt your fingers sliding with such ease over your clit, making you feel incredibly good.

You had touched yourself before, even before you knew Anton, you were human after all, but his groans on your ear and the memory of his hand instead of yours made it a lot better.

You didn’t understand what was so good about masturbating before, it was good, but this was fucking amazing.

You wanted to cup your chest again, just like he would’ve done it, like he did over your bra, but you needed to have your phone on your ear, his voice was more necessary than any light touch over your skin.

‘’Please touch my chest the next time.’’

The next time, he became numb, you were being so good for him, begging with that honeyed voice to touch you, he’d do it with much pleasure, but to hear you say it, to ask for his touch so directly, it was too much for him.

‘’I’ll touch you so good, my angel, I’ll do everything you want.’’

He didn’t mean it only for when he made you feel good with his hands, or his mouth, he honestly wanted to do everything for you.

‘’Put one finger inside.’’

You sighed disappointed, it felt good, but not like when he did it.

‘’It’s not like yours...’’

You heard him groan.

His hand stopped moving, feeling your pain through the phone.

‘’Oh angel, I’m so sorry, I’ll make sure to finger you well next time too.’’

‘’Yours are so long’’ you cried, putting one more in to simulate the size of his fingers.

It wasn’t enough, and soon you had not one or two, but three fingers, which were the closest sensation to his fingers that day, stretching you just like two of his fingers did.

When you put all those fingers inside the echo of your wetness got louder, pushing him to continue with the way his hand was moving before, swiftly pulling his cock like your delicate hand would do, with those pretty fingers around him and those beautiful eyes looking at him.

‘’How many do you have in?’’ he asked curious, because it was impossible just one finger was making that nasty noise.

You didn’t want to tell him how many, it was so disgraceful for a girl to use that many fingers, at least you believed that.

You cried again because something so degrading was feeling so good.

‘’Tell me.’’

He wouldn’t stop asking, you knew it, he would respect your silence in any other occasion, but not in this one.

‘’…Three.’’

‘’Shit, getting ready for my cock.’’

‘’Anton.’’ You called for him, flustered with his statement, and pushing your fingers even more with that idea.

He was big, you felt it that day, even just over his pants you could feel how much he would open you, your three fingers were nothing to get that, they had to be his fingers to stretch you enough to accept him.

‘’You’re about to cum, right? I already recognize that tone’’ he was pumping harder his cock, following the intensity of your squelches and how your hand was more erratic, ‘’fuck, and I’m not there to feel your mess, my angel.’’

You repeated his name in loud moans, grateful that you were completely alone, and his groans became as loud as your moans, reciprocating your enthusiasm.

He bit his lip with force, back falling with force to his pillow, picturing you moaning right over him like you did that day, and while thinking about you, and listening to your actual cries, he came all over his hand in thick spurs of cum.

You also came, a lighter sensation than when he fucked you so good with his fingers, but still good enough to make you feel relaxed again.

After days of not being able to cum you didn’t realize how tense you were, maybe that was why you were so thoughtful and couldn’t sleep even when you felt so tired.

Both of you stayed like that for a good time, recovering after all those days away.

‘’I missed you so much’’ Anton said when your mind was drifting away.

Me too, you thought, but didn’t say it.

‘’You’ll see me this Monday…’’

‘’I’ll buy you something.’’

‘’If you buy me something, I swear I’ll punch you.’’

‘’Oops, I think I’d like that too.’’

You laughed, not hiding it this time, and fell asleep while hearing his soft laugh on your ear.

When you saw him on Monday you punched him, not hard though, because apart from the couple of his t-shirts he gave you, he bought you a small bouquet of flowers to show how sorry he was.

fourth visit ↬ fifth visit ↬ sixth visit (tba)

[greynatomy]

Espresso

Alex Morgan x Fem!Reader

I really liked how this came about when writing. I was scrolling through tiktok and this came around again of andrew garfield describing emma stone (which is the most romantic thing to describe a person you love).

Let me know what you think!

-grey

———

All of the United States Women’s National Team players are in the conference room, just finishing up a meeting with their coaches. Everyone is split up in their normal groups with the younger players sticking together. But there was one thing that they all have in common. It’s the love of one particular artist.

“Ohmygod! It out in five minutes!” Sonnett practically yelled for the whole world to hear.

“What’s starting?”

“The documentary all about how Espresso was written and put together.”

“Wait! That’s today?”

“Yes, Ashley. Come on. Keep up.”

Emily sets up her laptop, refreshing every second until the documentary shows up on Netflix.

“It’s right there! Click it.”

“I am, chill.” She swats Ashley’s hand away.

———

“Now, ‘Fairytale,’ what’s that about?” The interviewer asks.

A smile instantly shows up on your face.

“Uh, it’s pretty straight forward.”

“But go into detail. From listening to it once, I know it’s about how much you love someone and always wanting them close by.”

“That’s basically it.”

“Give me more man.” You both laugh. “Who’s it about?”

“Uh, I won’t be saying who, but she was-is pretty special. I’ve known her since we were kids. I was a pretty shy kid growing up, kept to myself most of the time, then she shows up out of nowhere basically demanding to be friends.”

“Then you became more?”

“Then we became more. She helped me open up and like the song says ‘with you I lose all my fears,’ she was always there to help me get by.”

You are now sat on a stool with your guitar and perform the song that was just talked about. (Fairytale by We Three)

“Are you still together?”

“Oh.” You let out a breathy chuckle. “No.”

“What happened?”

“I actually have no clue. It’s been, what? Thirteen years.” You start giggling.

“What’s got you gigglin’ over there.”

“Nothing, nothing. Just the number, that’s all. Don’t ask me about it.”

“Alright then, let’s backtrack. You said you don’t know what happened. How is that possible to not know what happened that led to the breakup?

“I just never got the closure that I needed, I guess. I mean yeah, she said she just didn’t love me anymore, but what else? What did I do? What could I have done differently? Just those questions that I have that haven’t and probably never will get answered.”

“Do you know what she’s up to now.”

“Uh, yeah I do. Not to sound creepy, but I’ve seen how she is and she’s doing amazing. She’s moved up in the world. A true inspiration, especially to her daughter.”

“So she has a child?”

“Yeah. And she looks so much like her.” You give a sad smile, a tear slipping from your eye.

“She must be real special to you, even after all these years.”

“She was like a shot of espresso, she’s like, being bathed in sunlight, she’s incredibly energetic and enthusiastic and she had this sense of play and fun which was, incredibly exciting. And then just like the sunset that illuminates her beauty she left, while like a dark night I got pulled into darkness.”

———

Alex Morgan sat in silence throughout the whole documentary. She hasn’t caught up with your career like you had done with her.

“I’ve never been described as a shot of espresso.” Ashley breaks the silence.

“That was the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. Also very heartbreaking at the same time.” Rapinoe speaks up for the first time.

“But isn’t it weird that she’s still caught up on this girl after thirteen years?” Kelley questions.

“I don’t think she’s caught up, she just wants the closure she never got.”

“Man whoever left her just like that, we needa have some words.”

Alex excuses herself, saying she was tired and was gonna go up to her room. On the way to her room, she though about more of her life and the evens that happened in the past year.

She divorced her ex-husband after nine years, co-parenting—if you can call him seeing his daughter only when he feels like it.

And now that she’s thinking about it, the only reason she can come up with was not wanting to be the reason that you can express your love freely to the world. Alex isn’t out, she never was, never even planning to. That’s why she broke up with you because it wasn’t fair to you.

No, she just needs to tell you.

For closure.

Her thumb hovers over your contact, hoping it never changed.

Sunshine ☀️

Hi.

It wasn’t long until she got a reply.

Lover ♥️

Hey.

Sunshine ☀️

Would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me? To catch up?

Alex throws her phone on the bed, anxious to know what you would say. Her phone vibrating makes her grab her phone just as quick as she threw it.

Lover ♥️

When and where?

~~~~~

no part 2

[missmarveledsblog]

Bet on it ( Bradley Bradshaw x reader ) PART THREE

Summary : it the night of the gala an awkward start til the two break the silence that leaves them going down memory lane to simplier time with the ice breaking and thawing bradley starts to realise somethings like how good his name sound coming from her lips , how beautiful she truly is and the two get closer and closer

warnings : goofy , fluffy fun , allusions to smut rooster is older than reader by like 8 or something years so aging him up in og top gun timeline

previous part

It was odd , it was awkward as hell and a silent car ride as the both went to talk,opening  their mouths and yet closed a second later . going from enemies and friends wasn’t so clear cut like in the movie where they were instant besties . sure they didn’t squabble or insult each other much as before still few slip ups here and there .  now she kind wish its like in the movies anything would be better than this and when she tried to kill the silence words failed her . she also felt old feeling coming to the surface which she could only hate more for the timing .  she never hated him , never truly  a part of her always loved the man.  a drunken confession to jake  after a particularly bad time between the two that night . she confided in what happened all the years ago maybe it was dramatic reaction from her side but he did truly hurt her and now she was  questioning if he really knew that  , something they could talk about some other time she wasn’t going to make an already awkward moment even worse . it didn’t help how good he looked not that he wasn’t hotter than the fucking sun before but rooster in  three piece suit should of been a crime how good he looked and even more happy she wasn’t driving or they would be heading to a hospital instead of a hospital charity gala . 

Why couldn’t he talk , He of all people  having trouble speaking when all he did was talk . it was like bagman not having an ego and yet the woman currently sitting in the passenger seat of his bronco had him either silent or a blubbering mee  . the same woman who made his blood pressure rising had it rising or a whole different reason .  “ say something jesus anything” he cursed himself internally. 

“ music” he asked quickly to which she just gave a polite nod to . “ least it was something “ he mentally wondering how it was so bad , how it was like this to the point they couldn’t even talk to each other without the rest of their friends around , tapping his finger on the wheel as he listened to the music pretending he wasn’t cringing inside then it came on the radio a song from their childhood , a regular in the hard deck . 

“ you shake my nerves and your rattle my brain” that voice it wasn’t him , 

“ too much love drives a man  insane” she could sing since well , he remember she and his father did but a three year old rendition of twinkle twinkle like star. 

“You broke my will , but what a thrill “ he joined turning to see her smiling . 

“ GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE “ they screamed before bursting into a fit of laughter ,

“ erm excuse me mini mitchell why the hell have i not heard you sing before” he asked. 

“ well you hated me so i wasn’t gonna sing you a lullaby now was i “ she snorted. 

“ i disliked you never hated you but i regret all that really wish i could change it all if i could we could be touring america singing jerry lee lewis” he winked.

“ as much as i love your rendition nothing will ever beat your dad’s  what i’d give to hear him singing it again” she smiled softly .  

“ nah what i would love is his and your version of twinkle twinkle little star , i mean you both made that a ballet” he chuckled. 

“ we did rock that one , but i think our rewrite of bingo was better “ she snorted. 

“ oh yeah the one where you made bingo like a twenty letter word and some numbers in there too “he mused yet playful lilt to his tone. 

“ hey i was exploring art through music and i was also a toddler all words were big back then “ she mock offense .

“ hey now your taking me up wrong i am a fan and so was my dad as he was able to follow along  he was your biggest fan “ . 

“ and my dad is your biggest fan we lucked out on the godfather train huh ? …. Well sort of “ she grimace realizing how it came out. 

“ hey your dad’s  maverick i might be an orphan godchild soon with how he take risks  “ he grinned was her laughter always this way and why did he wanna hear more of it .

“ my dad is maverick that man is gonna outlive us all” 

 the venue was bigger than she though it was bigger event than she thought . in a way it was better it meant more fund for her department , more resources,  more bed. 

“ im not going to get tackle when we walk in her am” he joked . 

“ i mean beth might … nah you should be fine i'll tell them  it was a misunderstanding or something” . 

“ beth the lady i talk to cause if so i  will use you as a shield” . 

“ chivalry isn't dead after all” she smirked . 

just as she went to get out of the car only for him to run like hell to her side opening the door even held her hand as she got out the full gentlemen treatment  seemed to be on the cards as  they walked in the entrance. to say he was  nervous seeing the same security guard eyeing him up til she smile and shook her head signaling is all is good .  the security guard made him nervous but the glare on beth face  well  had him standing behind  y/n when the woman made her way over. 

“ sweet pea blink twice if you need help “ she whispered.  

“ most wonderfully divine miss beth its ok  we sorted it out , bradley this is the wonderfully divine beth most skill nurse beth this is bradley bradshaw master of piano and super hornet jets” y/n stood pulling   him forward and yet it wasn't the nervous  it wasn’t fear of this southern woman who had a sweet  nurturing smile but looks to kill , it was fact it was first time she said his name his actual name , not his callsign or surname but his name . it felt good it felt better then good it made things inside him stir and a dopey grin to form on his face . she got him up in this gala smiling like he was dopey from the snow white and the seven dwarves all because she said his name and this was not good this was not what he thought would happen so early on to the bet ,   he needed to and yet couldn’t squash feeling erupting inside himself that honestly made him feel shit.

Through out the night he stood taller , smiled wider  everytime she introduced him to a coworker or  shit he hope newer people would come in just to do it all again.  Laughing and joking around with her coworkers , the pride that shouldn’t have been there yet burst out of him when they praise her on the good work , how she impacted the patients  or just what an honor it was to know or see her do her thing . 

“ i swear she is only doc i’ve seen that would sing along to the messed up nursery rhymes and not bat a lid and kids love her “ beth cooed as he listened to her coworkers gushing about her. 

“ or trying to get people to come visit the kids she got people dressed as superhero’s last time ” marcus a fellow doctor asked. 

“ hey happy patients happy doctor “ she shrugged taking a sip of her drink . 

“ we should say it to your dad get the dagger squad to come” bradley  clapped excitedly. 

“ the staff and kids would be happy “ beth winked . “ not you i’m still on fence about you pretty boy “ .

“ hey deserved but i hope if her dad says yes i can win you over “ he batted his lashes at the woman as she tried to keep her stance . 

“ what am i missing?” marcus asked. 

“ well we didn’t get along for a while but now we’re cool rooster has redeemed himself tonight “ she swirled the class and yet it he suddenly felt a sting at the fact is wasn’t his name. 

“ so when did you become a couple “ the man  asked excitedly only for both to choke on the liquid in there mouth. 

“ no no no ha no we’re just friend  , buddies “ she laughed grabbing napkins 

“ yeah friends what she said i mean come on girl like her with dude like me “ bradley chuckled til he seen her face drop and the hurt on it . “ i didn’t mean it like that i mean you are wow beautiful .. oh my god am i having a stroke tonight or something”  he groaned. 

“ i think what baby eyes is trying to say is your too good for him and if it not well it what we know”beth god he could kiss that woman if she didn’t scare the hell out of him . 

“ exactly what i meant i didn’t mean i was better or hotter than you “ he stumbled stuttering over his words.

“ boy just shh not making it better.. Now take her to dance that dress is too good to be sitting here all night ” the woman hushed. 

“ yes ma’am … would you wanna dance with me i think my feet work better than mouth “ he turned as she gave a little yes .  now he really did hope his feet worked better than his mouth  or was he going to make more of a fool of himself. 

Hand on hers as she place the other on his shoulder and his other hand to her hip .  gentle swaying he could do as that much it wasn’t too complicated and yet he felt his heart beating hard in his chest he was nearly expecting to see it on his shirt and then she looked up at him and his knees almost buckled  .  he never wanted her to look at him any other way than that , never wanted to hear rooster coming out of her mouth , then he tried to think of the past something to get his head in the game, he couldn’t lose his resolve so quick  a month into the bet he needed to think of how he felt back then the way he felt when it all started . his motivation to keeping strong and yet he couldn’t  the rational part of him was coming to effect and he decided one night to not think of it , one night to think of everything but enjoy the moment at hand. 

As guest filtered out and some memories of her bosses she never wanted to member they stood out of the venue and chill air of night hit . when she saw bradley bradshaw at her door she didn’t think she would have one of the best nights of her life . she never thought feeling she buried so deep would  break and come back in ten fold  . it was crazy , borderline insane to how she felt by end of night and that was it she didn’t want the night to end  , she didn’t want to say goodbye and things to go back to normal . she hated it  knowing it was stupid to think this way fucking hell they just started being some what friends the last month.  The shiver down her body and then she felt the warm weight of his jacket on  her shoulders and his hand out to lead her back to the car .  the whole timeshe willed herself to stop to think clearly to think of how he hurt her all those years ago when she felt like this first.  But she couldn’t all logic and reason quashed by the beat of her heart . . she fell harder than she ever did. Pulling her up outside of her apartment she should of said goodnight leave the good to stay good in that moment . 

“ you wanna come in for a drink” was all it took for another shift to happen a new direction to run it course and what she would find out the worst idea she’s ever had . 

Nervous of being in a small space together , nervous of new but old feeling coming back and nervous  to the  doubt of everything and anything.   Few beers and glasses of wine took the worry , the nerves and the caution away . relax and giddy finding a trip down memory lane filling in the spots of being apart . she told him about med school how hard and crazy it was especially giving she was youngest of her class , old boyfriends and friends . he told her of  collage  still a little sore spot not going to the naval academy but she wasn’t so happy with her dad for that either . then how surreal it was following in the footsteps of his dad and pete mitchell both daunting and exciting . more drink flowing as they laughed and joked around about the good side of memory lane .  

“ i can’t believe we missed out on so much huh ?” she sighed sadly . 

“ we really did , least we friends now right or did my stupid mouth and bad dancing scare you away?”he teased. 

“ you know bad dancing and mouth aside tonight has been so fun , really i mean you haven’t fully won beth over but you have won me over bradshaw”  she beamed up at him . 

“ please call me bradley i like it better when you say it i mean anyone else no eww but when it’s you makes me happy when you say name “ he leaned forward she felt herself pulled like a magnetic force . 

“ bradley “ she whispered and just like that all resolved went out the window  and something snapped as two crashed against one another clash of teeth and tongues , hunger and adorations . stars aligning , fireworks , sunshine and fucking rainbows . a kiss and a fear of what was to come next . 

A blinding light and a thumping headache . a personal jackhammer living in the confine of she sat up  and the sun making it harder to open her eyes  feeling around for her phone til her hand hit something that makes the hangover the least of her problems  as she force her eyes open and see a sleeping rooster naked in her bed . buzzing of her phone on the floor as she dove make sure not to waking the sleeping pilot  crawling out the room not ready to deal with what happened just yet as she hit the  little green icon . 

“ hey darling did ya have fun with chicken ?” 

“ more than i should of “ she gulped .

part 4

taglist : @djs8891 @peachmartini @shanimallina87 @kawaiiskeletondragonbanana @paisleebubbles

[toxictigertonic]

Hello it's me your number one fan: What's your headcannons for what the Main Three do in their spare time? Also, what do they do in their spare time with each other? Literally will pay you for these headcannons ISTG they give me life

I'm so glad people are enjoying my silly little headcanons about these weirdos (affectionate) I'm happy to say dumb shit about them.

COYLE

- Honestly he's a lil tough for me to figure out. He's so dedicated to his job of catching our asses that it feels like he's always patrolling.

- Then again. I wanna say this man is a secret soap opera enjoyer NOW HEAR ME OUT

- He sounds like he's on the verge of tears when he points out that Franco gets a gun but not him. That's dramatic. I think he secretly likes a little drama in his life.

- God help anyone who finds out though. Nobody can know about or interrupt his soaps.

- Also I could say the obvious answer for what I think he does in his spare time but uh. I think y'all can already guess with his quips.

- Other than that? He's making spicy chili to kill Franco with. Taste testing each pepper to make sure it's potent enough.

- Or collecting cool trinkets he finds laying around. Fun scraps of metal, nice rocks, anything he can steal from Franco.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- This woman is constantly busy, never let's herself sit down and relax. She's gotta be doing SOMETHING with her hands.

- Baking, knitting, sewing, she's doing it all with a show in the background for noise.

- She likes to bake pies and such, she likes the effort that goes into making the crust and loves fruit filling. Futterman is a brat about getting flour on his beak though.

- Knitting is a little hard but she gets Futterman to hold one needle with his beak. He only agrees so she won't whine about it. She's knitted a stuffed animal for Franco once on request and he cried so hard he threw up.

- She also listens to the radio and dances to some songs. She likes to sway back and forth or side to side while working on things and listening.

FRANCO

- My lil baby man, of course he's gonna do some lil baby things.

- I think he'd have a lot of coloring books tbh. A pack of crayons spread out on the table, pacifier in mouth, cartoons on in the background, this man is living the dream.

- Speaking of cartoons, I guaranTEE this man has an hour set aside for when his favorite cartoon comes on. He's watching it whether he's busy or not. Do not interrupt cartoon time unless you want a tooth bullet to the shin.

- He'd love to have someone to watch cartoons with, not Coyle though that man doesn't deserve cartoon time. Gooseberry would be an okay option but Futterman talks shit about his cartoons. May have kidnapped a reagent to make them watch cartoons with him.

- If he had the option he'd spend most of his spare time in someone's lap (someone who isn't dead lol) because again, this man is so beyond starved for affection from actual people. My sad little creachure.

- For some not so baby things, he makes sure Lupara is absolutely spotless. He'll spend hours cleaning it and making sure it shines like new. Now, if only he'd take the same care with his suit...

ALL TOGETHER

- You know how bad they were when two of them were together? Adding the last one to the mix is like asking for something to catch fire. Whether it be Coyle's beard or Gooseberry's skirt depends on the day.

- Most of the time spent as a trio is Phyllis trying to make sure Coyle and Franco don't kill each other. She wants everyone to be friends and those two want bloodshed.

- She's bringing out board games and baked cookies for them to all hang out, turns around for two seconds, looks back and Franco has Coyle picked up by the collar.

- They talk the maddest shit to each other and eventually Futterman has to call a time out. They have to sit in opposite corners.

- Speaking of Futterman, they know it's time to calm down when the drill is brought into the picture. Phyllis will not stand for this behavior during friend time!

These ones were a little more difficult but I think I'm pretty spot on with Coyle and his soap operas. Keep em coming my merry little men, you can ask about all three or just one of them.

[lampiridaes]

HIIII

Your finally open again 🫶🫶🫶

Can i request a tsukasa, rui and nene x reader (separate) and the plot is something like the song “something stupid” more specifically the verse “ the time is right your perfume fills my head the stars are read and oh the nights so blue, and then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you “

Thank you xxxx I’ve missed youuu

♬ now playing: "i love you..."

-> saying you love them so suddenly, so unexpectedly... are you trying to give them a heart attack?

★ — chars ; tsukasa , rui , nene

★ — notes ; HELLO H :333 finally writing this. VERY SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!!! lowkey got rlly excited to write this then BAAM. SCHOOL WORK EVERYWHERE.!!!! also listen to the song on loop as i was writing (michael buble's cover ft reese witherspoon bc i LOVE michael buble's voice) and it got me in the mood!!! I HOPE U LIKE READING THIS AS MUCH AS I LOVED WRITING IT!!!

★ — warnings ; open endings for all of them (nothing rlly insane lol) , otherwise none!

★ — taglist ; @asherenjoysart , @nogenderbee , @akitosheart , @nenes-numberonefan , @mintchocaur

affiliated with @virtualbookstore ★

★ track one: tenma tsukasa

the day before, tsukasa had invited you to go with this festival with him. there'd be lights, games, prizes... just about any other regular festival.

and yet, here you are with him. people around you are chattering, 'you won!' sound effects can be heard blaring around the entire area.

... surely, if you dropped the 'L' word, he wouldn't hear it.

"...i love you, tsukasa."

a soft yet sad smile can be seen on your expression. you really just said that for no reason, didn't you? how silly.

well, that was what you thought until tsukasa turned back at you, with this bright red blush on his face. yep, definitely heard you.

"...you do?"

this might be the most quiet you've heard from the boy. you were surprised he could even say something like that in such a meek voice.

it's all up to you now. do you want to admit it, change your friendship with him, or would you rather deny it and go back to square one?

★ track two: kamishiro rui

like every other day, you go hang out with rui as he's working on robots for a future show. as always, he appreciates your company. you're a good friend to him, and you also don't touch his works in progress without letting him know.

... also, you tend to ask him questions as he works. not too many to distract him, of course. he finds that rather cute, whether you believe it or not.

he also finds you keeping him company endearing, making sure he doesn't feel lonely... and it seems like you have similar feelings.

"i love you."

is what you thought you thought to yourself, but when rui looked back at you with a startled look on your face, you suddenly realize that you, in fact, said it out loud.

"i meant- i meant your inventions! your work... it's really impressive, rui."

great save there. he totally believed that. especially with how much you stammered.

"oh, that's disappointing. i was about to say the same back to you."

rui had that signature smirk of his, though this one... you could easily tell he lacks the regular cool, level-headedness it usually has.

whatever his intention was, it ended up making you blush in the process. this guy is really going to be the death of you, isn't he?

★ track three: kusanagi nene

you really can't shut your mouth, can you? the original plan was to simply help nene memorize her lines, making sure everything sounded smooth.

yet now you found yourself gazing at her adoringly. one thing led to another, and you just had to tell her that-

"i love you."

it was as if time stopped. you cover your mouth with your hand, gasping with surprise. nene wasn't any different—she was in total disbelief. and if that wide-eyed look on her face told you anything...

"...it's the next character's lines. i'm just... trying to help, yeah?"

the awkward smile on your face didn't make your words any more believable. not to mention, nene has already scanned over the script, she already knows what the actual line is!

"...i love you too."

... that wasn't nene's line. mostly because that wasn't even the other line to begin with, but when nene said that...? oddly suspicious, in the best way possible.

when you finally have the courage to gaze at her once more, you can even catch a glimpse of her subtle yet gentle smile.

"that's my line, after yours."

in a way, she wasn't wrong.

[alchemistc]

Eddie practices his arguments with Steve.

The thing is -

Here's the thing. It's not that he's expecting an argument. So far every time either one of them have been irritated with one another, or pissed off about something, they usually just, like, talk about it and shit. Healthy-like, which is -

Totally fucking weird for Eddie My-Parents-Fought-As-A-Love-Language Munson and Steve Still-Figuring-Out-Its-Okay-To-Be-Loved Harrington. It's weird, it is, and Eddie can't help but wonder if Steve is just bottling shit up until it explodes out of him and he realizes that this thing they're doing just isn't worth it anymore.

So.

So Steve does this thing, right?

This thing where he rolls his jaw and sometimes it pops and it makes Eddie want to stick a curly straw up his nose and scramble his own brains. And he's such a fucking neat freak that every time he's over, he ends up rearranging Eddie's room - not even in purpose, just. He likes to touch things, and Eddie gets it, he does, but touching things usually leads to picking things up leads to setting them back down and before Eddie's had time to look up, Steve has swept empty beer cans into the trash and lined up Eddie's models in a neat row like they're troops readying for battle and since he's like a war buff they're always lined up like a little battalion which is cute but also frustrating as hell because - because Eddie's chaos is organized and now he can't find his fucking lyric journal with the song he's very much not ready for people to see, or know about, or -

The point. The point is Eddie has been gearing up to talk to Steve about it for three days now and he's now at the stage where he practices. Works out the scenarios, muddles through possibilities, tries to anticipate every way it could go tits up.

He's never - Steve is most of his firsts, and he knows it's dumb and romantic but he'd like Steve to be all of his lasts, too, and so what if that means he's pacing the length of the trailer (all the while perfecting his Steve-voicr, which has been a tough one to nail but he feels like he's getting there. He's smarter and more eloquent than he lets on, is Steve.) and arguing with himself. Resetting, back to the start, working through a disastrous turn where Steve accuses Eddie of cheating on him (nope, reset, Steve's well aware Eddie wouldn't, cut that from the options).

"And seriously, Eddie, how could you think I'd do that shit to you, you know -."

"What the hell?"

Eddie whirls.

Mike Wheeler is standing in his living room, staring at Eddie like he's grown a second head. Which. Shit. They haven't actually, like, told anyone that they're...doing whatever it is they're doing (There's things Eddie wants to call it, but he hasn't brought them up yet because they're terrifying and super fucking telling and even though he's pretty sure he and Steve are on the same page he doesn't want to presume) so the kids don't know. No one except Robin knows, and she's states away and busy so.

"What the hell right back, Wheeler, what are you doing here?"

"I left my chem textbook here last night. You said I could come get it."

And - sure, he definitely had, but he'd sort of been staring at the hollow where Steve's neck and shoulder met and imagining biting it when he said it, so -

"So you broke into my house?"

"The door was unlocked."

"So you walked uninvited INTO MY HOUSE?" And he's maybe hamming up the annoyance as cover, but Wheeler just stares at him.

"Are you practicing breaking up with Steve?" Wheeler asks without preamble, with zero inflection, not even a quirk of his brow, and Eddie -

Flounders, is a generous term for it. Really what he does is shriek, and cackle, and then cover it up with the weirdest laugh either of them have ever heard which covers nothing at all. "What are - why would you - what makes you think - listen, Michael, you can't just break into people's homes and accuse them of - of - what exactly are you accusing me of?"

"Of having really terrible taste in men, Eddie, where's my textbook?"

"I don't fucking know, Wheeler, Steve rearranges shit all the time so who the hell knows where he would have -."

"It's probably on the bookshelf, then," Mike says, and then squints. "Are you...practicing arguing with Steve?"

"How do you even -?"

"Neither one of you is subtle."

"Shut up, Wheeler."

"If that's how you talk to Steve it's no wonder you have to practice your arguments."

"I'm not - you're infuriating."

Mike squares him with a look that reminds Eddie of when he's calculating hit points and strategizing his next move. He frowns. Sighs. "I have like ten minutes before I have to leave. Steve doesn't think you're cheating on him, so let's start from the top."

---

"The kids know," Eddie tells Steve, fingers shifting in Steve's hair, and Steve's lashes flash as he looks up from Eddie's lap. Mike had been - well, Wheeler might be half a decade younger but he'd been pretty instrumental in helping Eddie nail down the right approach to "Please stop cleaning up my messes you're ruining everything." so another non-argument is in the books, and Steve had looked confused about it but he'd agreed to try not to move shit around at least.

("I'm still cleaning up all the trash, though, you live like a goblin."

"It's hot that you know what a goblin is, baby."

"Nerd.")

"Are you...okay with that?"

"Are you?"

"I asked first."

It's not that he doesn't want to answer, it's just.

Okay he doesn't want to answer. Jesus Christ, he'd used Mike goddamn Wheeler as his Steve stand in to practice an argument that hadn't happened and he's still scared to call Steve his -

"I... don't really know. What to tell them." And that's - shit, not what he meant to say, Jesus.

"What do you mean?"

Steve crinkles his nose, and Eddie hates how goddamn cute it is, because he really wants to just, like, boop the tip of it and then suck Steve off but -

Where's Mike Wheeler when he needs him?

("If you ever tell Steve about this I'll tell Will to TPK your party for the next ten campaigns."

"Why would I tell Steve I'm helping you save your relationship?"

"Brownie points. So you can hold it over Henderson's head. Blackmail."

"I used to be terrified of you, but you're actually super lame, honestly."

"Preaching to the choir, my friend.")

"I mean, what...what do we tell them we...are?"

"Are you freaking out about calling me your boyfriend?"

"...no."

He shifts, and Eddie's fingers slip through the strands of Steve's hair as he shuffles, scoots, sits up and twists to face Eddie.

"I am, right? I mean...you want me to be?"

Eddie hasn't practiced this conversation, because - because it's presumptuous, because it felt sort of like jinxing it, because -

"Yeah. Duh. Of course I - shit. Yeah. Yes."

Steve's smile is bright and a little knowing. "I have a confession."

"I'm not sure I want to hear it."

"Trust me, you want to."

"Okay fine," Eddie tells him, eyes on Steve's hand as he slots their fingers together. Eddie hooks his pinkie along the edge of Steve's sleeve. "Twist my arm, why don't you?"

"I'm actually kind of glad they already know. I've been trying to figure out how to tell them for a while. I've been, like - creating scenarios in my head to try to figure out how they're going to take it."

There's - okay, so Eddie's thinking a lot of things, right at this moment, like how Steve apparently also creates mind-scenarios to play out before a situation happens, and how they might want to test out their creativity in other areas, actually, and that derails his whole train of thought for a moment, but "How long?"

"How long what?"

"Have you been trying to figure out how to tell them?"

Eddie's not insecure, exactly, but he is a big fan of knowing what people he cares about think of him and how often they think of him and -

"I mean, since, like, the first time I kissed you?"

Eddie is stupid crazy about Steve Harrington. He's fully fucking feral for this man, honestly, it's dumb. Absolutely ridiculous.

"I'm in love with you," Eddie tells him, and the tips of Steve's ears are pink.

"I know," he says, with a smarmy little grin because Eddie had admitted (under duress, and screw anyone who doesn't think a naked Steve Harrington in your lap is duress) he'd been obsessed with Harrison Ford for like a full year in his tweens, and Steve takes every opportunity to remind Eddie he knows.

"I'd also very much like to circle back to you creating scripts in your mind about telling the kids about us."

"Henderson's always a nightmare, I swear to god."

"We gotta teach him some humility."

"He respects you more than he respects me, you teach him."

"You gonna say it back?"

"Well not now," Steve says, and Eddie wants to bite him.

---

"I love you," Steve says, while Dustin and Mike and Max argue about who knew first.

Eddie hasn't practiced this one. "I know," he says, and Steve's brow quirks when Dustin catches the exchange and groans.

[cherrylng]

Schwein interview - Sakurai Atushi and Raymond Watts [ROCKIN'ON (June 2001)]

Schwein, the Japan-German-UK trilateral industrial music collaboration - what's the story here?

Interview: Shunsuke Kosugi, Interpreter: Yoko Utsumi

Schwein is a group formed by industrial heavyweight PIG's Raymond Watts, Raymond's former colleague Sascha Konietzko of MDFMK, and Sakurai Atsushi and Imai Hisashi of BUCK-TICK. The members are from three different countries: Japan, Germany, and the UK, but the three groups that have come together are known for their activities that transcend national differences. BUCK-TICK's extremely Japanese song world is carried by an unusually cool Western sound, PIG incorporates samba rhythms into industrial music, and MDFMK showed a stage performance at Fuji that was like a motor with an unusually high revving speed. Their debut album, "Schweinstein," is an unusually high-tension work in which the elements of the three collide behind Sakurai's song world. In any case, this strangely distorted and captivating industrial world is one of a kind. It is a strange work that could only be possible with the combination of these three artists. Above all, Sakurai's ability to draw both PIG and MDFMK into his world is amazing. Schwein, which differs neither from BUCK-TICK, which is active against the backdrop of the so-called Japanese music situation, nor from a Western music band, is worth a listen. We spoke to Raymond Watts and Sakurai Atsushi.

First of all, please tell us how you came to form Schwein. Raymond Watts (R): 「A year and a half ago, I did a Japan tour with BUCK-TICK in PIG. During the tour, I started talking to the guys about various things, and before we knew it, we went into the studio together and decided to do something. I also asked Sascha from KMFDM and he said, "Let's do it", and before I knew it, this project was born. Imai, the guitarist of BUCK-TICK, and I had been in a band called Schaft before, and whenever I went to Japan we would go out for sushi together and hang out.」

What do you like about each other? R: 「The BUCK-TICK song I remixed before was an interesting song and the work itself was a lot of fun. It was also interesting to see how confused everyone was about this collaboration. The connection between BUCK-TICK, who is very active in the pop scene, and me, who has been working underground for a long time, is certainly a strange one. But we actually have a lot in common. We have a similar sense of humour, for example, and we have a similar approach to our work. We both need to be satisfied with the best in whatever we create.」 Sakurai Atsushi (S): 「That was my main question (laughs). He's a successful person in America also. But Raymond is someone who is always looking for new stimulation. He's always angry about something, he's always frustrated, he's always trying to destroy something. Well, he told me he wouldn't work with anyone he didn't like.」

What exactly are these frustrations? What are you trying to destroy with Schwein? R: 「I'm frustrated with Japanese music listeners. I mean, in Japan, there's a tendency to treat their own music differently from foreign music. It's a really stupid thing. Why is there such a gap between listeners who buy Western music like Limp Bizkit, Rage Against The Machine or KMFDM, and listeners who buy Japanese music like Luna Sea or BUCK-TICK? I have a hard time understanding it. When I buy music, I never pay attention to where the artist is from. It's really stupid. What is the point of describing one art form as inferior to another? It's really stupid. For example, if we said that American music is inferior to British music, we'd be sued for discriminatory remarks. I can't even say that one country's culture is inferior to another's. It's just a Japanese complex. Well, it's not like I don't know how you feel. For example, in the world of cinema, British films are always treated as secondary to Hollywood films, right? It's the same thing, isn't it? I actually prefer British films. But that's because we measure things by American standards. In other words, they're just comparing the amount of money they make.」 S: 「I don't listen to it because it's BUCK-TICK, or because it's PIG, or because it's MDFMK, but I also want more people to listen to it.」

Now I would like to ask Raymond, what do you think are the characteristics of Japanese rock that are not found in other countries? R: 「They wear a lot of heavy makeup. Don't you think so too?」

Yes, I do (laughs). What else? R: 「That's it.」

(laughs) Raymond, please tell us what you think are the characteristics of Sakurai-san and Imai Hisashi-san, respectively. (?) R: 「When I play him my song ideas and backing tracks, Atsushi sees them from ten different perspectives. Atsushi is a singer in the true sense of the word. He can express himself properly through his songs. I've never worked with a singer like this before, so it's very exciting to work with Atsushi. And with Imai, I'm attracted to the fact that he doesn't treat the guitar as a guitar. All the guitarists I've played with so far play a traditional style, but with Imai, he plays gorgeous noises that you can't believe are guitar sounds. I'm constantly amazed by Imai's skills.」

Raymond doesn't understand Japanese, does he? R: 「Yeah, that sometimes messes up communication within the band. But it's an old saying, but in these situations, music naturally becomes the common language.」

With the album "Schweinstein," I think it's more of a clash of your own characteristics rather than an exploration of compromises between each of you. Was this something that you guys intended to do? R: 「No, it wasn't really my intention, but I knew that when the four of us went into the studio together, we could expect strange things to happen and that we should be able to produce some strange work. I'm really excited by this kind of heterogeneous combination, this mixture of disparate personalities. Because the result can be something so bizarre that you would never have thought possible.」 S: 「It's exciting in that I want change, Imai wants change, and of course Raymond wants change. But every day was a struggle, wasn't it? It was a good opportunity for me to clear out some of the naivety in me.」

What are your plans for Schwein's future activities? S: 「I think we all intend to do that, though. We have our individual activities, but deep down we want to stay connected.」 R: 「I want to continue working in the future. First, we'll tour Japan in June, and then we'll each go back to work with BUCK-TICK and PIG. But I hope we can work together again next year or so, if we feel up to it. But it's a decision we make for ourselves, not one determined by record sales. We were very lucky this time. That's because we had a record company that was willing to take the risk and pay for a project like this that we didn't know would be successful or not. All four of us took the risk. But what is success anyway? If we make something good, I think it's a success.」

Translator’s Note: I want to thank yoshiyuuki for helping me in clarifying certain parts that stumped me, the first being the title of the interview and then a particular question.

(?) This part of the question stumped me at first when I extracted the text, because when I put it into Deepl and Google Translate, this was the result:

“(笑) 櫻井さん、今井寿さん、それぞれについてレイモンドの思う特徴を聞かせてください。”

“(laughs) Sakurai-san, Imai Hisashi-san, please tell us what Raymond thinks are the characteristics of each of you.”

But then I saw that it was Raymond who answered that question, so I figured out what the question should actually look like and rearranged the words to form a sentence that made more sense. And then I asked Yoshi if what I've done was a better result.

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