#Also the idea that thinking for yourself is some sort of inherently autistic-like trait -- is concerning

[cosmic-kiwi]

So close and yet so far.

Because the thing that you're getting brainwashed about is thinking that 'nonbinary' needs to exist at all and should be defined by a resistance to social norms.

A woman who doesn't follow the 'expected' social norms is still just a woman. A man who doesn't follow the 'expected' social norms is still just a man. I don't know how anyone can think otherwise (without being incredibly sexist).

There is no "correct" way to be a man or a woman, or to dress as a man or a woman, or to act as a man or a woman. "Man/Boy/Male" and "Woman/Girl/Female" are simply biological states. Nothing more. Those labels don't tell you *anything* about another person beyond which gamete their reproductive system should theoretically produce.

You people keep talking about this 'gender binary' when none actually exists. Sex is binary in the vast majority of cases; that is true. But the way "gender" is defined (if you can even define it) is so vague and meaningless that it seems to just mean personality/style, which is, of course, not binary and never has been in the first place.

Yes, societies have and do (either intentionally or not) had/have a way of promoting or outright enforcing certain behaviors among men and women. But I thought that kind of thing was the very thing so-called progressives were supposed to be fighting against, not reinforcing. Societal norms don't actually provide accurate information with regards to reality. For instance, a woman who insisted on wearing pants in the 50's was not 'nonbinary'. She was just a regular woman who wasn't a fan of the fashion norms of the time.

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The real reason "so many autistic folks" are "trans"/nonbinary is because autistic people tend to see the world in black and white rigid categories. Including concepts like "boy" and "girl". And so if you're a girl who feels you've never fit in with the other girls (because you're autistic) you're more likely to mistakenly think, "well clearly, I don't fit in this category -- that means that I *must* belong to the other one or some brand new other one that I must make up." (Hence "nonbinary" and all the other supposed 'genders').

But... that' so obviously not how anything actually works. Being a girl in no way means you automatically fit in with the other ones or do all the things you think that they do.

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"the current binary definition of gender" --- which is WHAT? Can anyone explain to me, a woman, what 'identifying' as a woman apparently specifically entails without sounding incredibly sexist or relying on stereotypes (which most likely would not be accurate in my case)? Because I don't see how you could.

Actually being trans is in no way about 'not following society's rules' or whatever. It is an actual (very rare) medical condition or mental illness (the science isn't settled on this) that very few people have. And I think a lot of people are getting sick of people appropriating it and pretending like they have it when they clearly don't as if all it is is a way to say 'FU' to society.

terfs keep mentioning the % of autistics who are trans/nb and that we're 'brainwashed'

and because i'm an asshole, i decided to look into why so many autistic folks are trans/nb. it's not an inaccurate statement, at least the first half, but terfs lie through their teeth so i decided to get to the scientific root of it.

the answer blew my fucking mind.

the study on gender and autism i found said two very specific things about autistic people: we are more mentally resistant to things like social conditioning and binarism. we like our secret third things, y'know.

an excerpt:

“The finding that non-binary identities are most elevated seems to support hypotheses focussed on autistic resistance to social conditioning, which are consistent with existing evidence of the same effect with respect to self-description of sexual orientation. Perhaps elevated rates of trans identity in autism might result from a rejection of the binary cisgenderist norm, which combined with a below-typical concern for social norms could promote the disclosure of the identity.”

94% of autistics surveyed for that paper identified themselves as non-binary.

other studies have found autistic people have higher levels of critical thinking, and require more evidence to maintain or convert to a belief system (hence why many of us eventually fall away from religion) than allistic people.

which means, at least from my perspective, that:

a) the 'brainwashing' terfs are accusing the trans community of inflicting on autistic folks would likely not even work if they tried.

b) the current binary definition of gender flies directly against embedded autistic modes of thinking to begin with.

you cannot brainwash someone into thinking something they already believe.

[dogydayz]

this is a whole topic im often very nervous about getting into, because i dont wanna sound like im tryna tell other autists to "just be happy with themselves".

I think that the whole idea of "accepting one's own traits and characteristics as part of who they are, rather than those things being like unwanted leeches that only take from them" is something the autistic community sorta.... doesnt.... really talk about? I get why, I really do, it's super fucking tough to think that these struggles ARE here to stay, and people calling those struggles "flaws" doesnt help, because who wants to believe they're inherently flawed? But I think that's just it. People need to realize that "flawed" is a baseline, and there is no "perfect". Struggles due to autism aren't inherently bad traits, at least imo, even if they're annoying and cause issues. The fact of the matter is that, if humans just interacted better and helped one another more, they WOULDNT be such huge struggles. I wouldn't struggle so much with my sensory issues if people didn't constantly try to get me to do shit I know I can't do, I wouldn't feel so bad about my voice volume if I only had kids ask me to quiet down instead of the bullying and mocking I get, I wouldn't feel so bad about having special interests if special interests weren't treated as some sort of social "red flag" or some shit.

Having a character who DOES accept their traits, even ones that cause them annoyance, as a part of the whole that is themself is something we REALLY need. Often times I feel like autistic characters are portrayed as either so confident they're oblivious assholes, or lacking any and all self-confidence and subject to insults and bullying that wrecks them mentally, even if the media itself doesn't frame them as being bad or anything. I feel a lotta media also depicts disabilities in general, and self-deprecating humor acted out by disabled individuals, as not some sort of relatable thing aimed at similarly disabled people, but rather humor meant to make a general audience say "wow, damn, that MUST suck huh?". It puts disabilities in general in such a stupidly bad light, yet it's hard to point it out to others because they just wouldn't understand WHY it's bad unless they too are disabled.

But Shadow's ideal humor? Deadpan humor. Silly stupid quips from a guy who's insanely passionate about what he fights for. Slight absurdist humor in the form of him having no fucking clue why eating a bowl of coffee beans is considered weird. That's the shit you see posted on autistic forums or r/aspiememes. That's the shit you send your autistic friend to giggle at because it's so relatable. It's like seeing your autistic coworker fall for something that you absolutely know you'd fall for too if it were aimed at yourself, so you find your circumstances both humorous and somewhat charming. Secure. Safe. It feels like it's FOR you, not just ABOUT you, or heaven forbid AGAINST you. It doesn't feel like a jab, or like someone writing what they THINK a disabled person would think.

That's why I love the idea of it for Shadow.

I think one of my favorite parts of the "autistic Shadow" headcanon is the fact that he's designed to be the Ultimate Lifeform. I don't mean this in an annoying, "autism is a superpower" dumb way (even if I do find my own autism to actually be quite helpful at times, the whole concept of calling it that is stupid and used to hurt people like us), I mean it in a "Shadow was genetically engineered to be an Ultimate Lifeform, he's designed to survive and be able to do things no one else can, yet he still struggles with something that could be classified as a disability in his daily life." I dont know if im wording it properly, but there's something about how he's still viewed as that Ultimate Lifeform despite dealing with something that many people would immediately label as a trait that makes someone "inherently" less capable of survival. I know that many folks struggle with autism in way more severe ways than I may (though much of me saying this is kinda me repressing and refusing to acknowledge that it IS still a disability for me, but still, i recognize others DO deal with more severe aspects than I do), however I really just dislike how autistic characters get labeled as inherently "unable" to live "right". He's a character whose whole thing is that he makes his own path for himself, he fights even if the world hates him, he doesn't back down and even when it looks like he is, he's just playing it smart. Even if he does have these struggles, he IS able to find a life for himself, he isn't held down by expectations or what people tell him he is. In fact, that's ANOTHER whole part of him as a character, that he breaks free from what others say he should be. Even if he were confirmed to be autistic, he wouldn't be "the autistic character". He'd still be himself, he'd be Shadow, they'd be confirming that he has certain struggles, but he'd still be /himself/.

His story wouldn't change, he wouldn't be bound by the chains of what people think an autistic character in media should look like, he wouldn't be "the character who's autistic" (as if they aren't all already autistic, but that's a whole different topic lol), he'd just be Shadow, and Shadow would just happen to be autistic.

Again, I may be wording this wrong and if i am PLEASE forgive me, I'm trying so hard to put my thoughts into words,,,

I think this is coming a bit from a place of me seeing Prime Sonic and thinking to myself "holy fucking shit he's got ADHD but it's not shown as all of him". Of course they havent truly confirmed Sonic to be ADHD but like, i think they probably did do it purposefully here, but maybe that's just me? I just see him do stuff and think "wow yeah, I've done that before! And I do it because i have ADHD! and he has some of my struggles!! But his friends still love him even if they're annoyed by him at times, and he still isn't a bad person even if he did fuck up! Any they handle it with nuance that real people experience in life!!"

And that's how I'd see autistic Shadow being handled. He already has a lotta the traits, but they don't confirm it being based on things like sensory overload or whatever, despite the fact that they really could. And even if they did, he'd be handled just as if it were another trait. It wouldn't be some defining attribute to him, him being autistic wouldn't be some selling point, there wouldn't be any "look! There's now an autistic character in this media!!".

But back to the main point.... Basically, him being autistic doesn't make him any less of the Ultimate Lifeform, and I think that's about the most extreme way to get across the point of "being autistic doesn't make you any less of a person or any less important". He was GENETICALLY ENGINEERED. Yet he still is autistic and it was decided "yep we succeeded in creating the Ultimate Lifeform!", so much so that the military wanted to use him as a WEAPON. Nothing about his potential disability made him any less of a success, or any less of a protector to Maria, or any less of a wonderful creation to Gerald, or any less of anything else to anyone he knows.

Something about that is just... a really nice idea to me. Maybe not for everyone, but to me that's inspiring as fuck, and reassuring to, to think about...