#Also soooo much of the world is suburban

[nefretemerson]

my life is sooooo hard rip me

my biggest problem when it comes to dating is that it is sooooooo hard to find someone who I can be unapologetically Me around. I censor myself so hard all day every day around Everyone except my very very best friends. Like. My whole life is performance art (beautiful angelic emotionally stable unselfish farm girl next door). But on the inside I'm not like that at all. I'm bipolar. I've got depression. I drink too much and have a fondness for psychedelics. I've been raped three times. On the inside I'm a firey ball of rage. I frequently don't think the world is real. I go to church two times a week and family dinner on the farm every Sunday and idk. On the inside i really am that meme. I really am just standing there in the corner losing my religion. But not really. Or maybe I am. Or maybe I already have. I can't stand religious men (I love abortion and pussy and critical thinking and female liberation). I can't stand non-religious men (either they've got the same problems as the religious men without the excuse of religion OR they can't even do small engine repair or slaughter a chicken or navigate the subway). Whenever I date women there's always this niggling feeling that I'm going to ruin their lives (because i've done that before rip) so I just sleep around a lot. And then go to church (not as penance or whatever but because that's just what I do Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings). I'm almost thirty. I should have this figured out by now lmaooo.

[naamahdarling]

Do you have a favorite creepy critter/misunderstood species that the rest of the world irrationally hates/is terrified of?

A lot of them. Spiders, stinging insects. I'm scared of them a lot of the time (or of flying stinging things anyway) but also they are just little guys who don't really mean any harm and are just going about their business. They eat bugs, they mostly leave us alone. I feel bad they are so despised. I wish we strove for neutrality and practicality instead of praising violence against the occasional creature so much smaller and weaker than us. I don't want aggressive wasps on my porch, either, but I don't hate them. I just need them to move. You can feel that way about any animal.

It's the same with snakes. People are so violent about it. It makes me angry and sad. That black rat snake or bullsnake is eating something you really don't want around. If you have chicks or eggs, that's one thing, but if you just have a suburban yard and see the occasional wiggly boi passing through, you can just leave them alone, or figure out what kind they are before reacting badly.

And they aren't creepy but definitely pigeons. Oh I'm soooo sorry you got inconvenienced or grossed out by "flying rats". They're soooo awful, these pretty little animals your forebears domesticated and abandoned, and which we have failed so badly we don't even remember that the contract of domestication ever existed. Morally speaking, pigeons are a real big L for us. We owe them better. It isn't any different than feral cats, it's just that we still keep cats in our homes, and the problem with feral cats isn't as bad.

[writerscafehub]

𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀: 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

@eulalielatibule

From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

Hmm I'd say I'm like, 2.8? I'm pretty basic and don't do much editing but my stories are good and I'm proud of them!

2. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

I think I excel at fluffy family fics. I just love writing good dads being sweet with their kids, especially daughters. Another thing that makes me stand out is how I write autistic!reader. I haven't seen anyone else write that for the Chris Evans fandom (not including Steve) so I'm proud to be the one to do it.

3. Are there any writers that inspire you?

Everyone in the server is so talented and they all inspire me in different ways. @a-lumos-in-the-nox puts out story after story with her OC and Ron Weasly and I just love that! Especially as someone who wants to start writing more OCs. @flordeamatista’s writing is so poetic and beautiful and I admire it so much

4. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

I'm pretty proud of my Suburban Dad Sunday verse. It's done so well but it's also just very fun for me to write and it's letting me explore characters that I hadn't written for previously.

5. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write and which do you find most difficult to write?

Jake Jensen is definitely the easiest. Idk he's just so sweet and fun and the vibes are immaculate with him! The most difficult would probably be any dark character

6. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

I write a lot about Jake and fluff/hurt and comfort.

7. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about!

I have a Lloyd Hansen fic with a living music box ballerina. It'll be a giant/tiny fic which I know isn't super popular but I find it so comforting and I'm excited to share it!

8. First fandom you ever wrote for?

I believe it was Phantom of the Opera 🙈😂

9. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

I can't think of any tropes, but I do love reading daddy kink fics lmao

10. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

I mean never say never, but I do not like enemies to lovers. Idk why, I just can't get behind it. I also will likely never write a mob au.

11. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

Probably my most recent one with Jake Jensen x Reader x Ari Levinson. H-O-T-T-O-G-O was my first time writing a throuple and it was interesting!

12. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

I love writing Lloyd Hansen and his Reader for SDS. He's just so funny and petty and it's fun to see his shenanigans!

13. Do you listen to anything while you write?

No, I get too distracted. I need it to be quiet while I write. I do have playlists to help me get into the right headspace or to help with muse.

14. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

One shots all the way

15. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

All the time! Although I feel like most of my fics are little side quests to one big story/universe. I want to do more with The Purrfect Pair- Kitten is so cute and there's lots of potential for mischief with her and Wanda.

16. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Soooo many things. I want to write a smutty series but smut is just so hard for me to write for some reason. I admire those who write it so effortlessly!

17. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

There are many comments that I hold near and dear to my heart. Recently I got a comment from @thezombieprositute who said my ability to turn simple prompts into heart warming stories was a testament to my skills and it really made my day.

18. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

A long time ago I wrote a Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers Halloween fic. It was on my old account so it isn't around anymore, though I might repost it here. It was definitely a challenge as it was more involved and took a lot of world building. It turned out okay, but maybe I'll revisit it and do some editing!

19. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

Fluff, all the time.

20. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

Do I?? I have so many. Thank you for the time to infodump about some of my favorites lmao

I have Eloise Montgomery who is a sexretary for Pete Brenner. Her face claim is Sydney Sweeney!

There's also Charles Randolph who is similar to Ransom in that he's a bratty rich boy who I pair with Ari Levinson. His face claim is Logan Lerman.

I have soooo many but they are my favorites!

21. If you could enter the universe of any one of your fics, which would it be and why?

Oh gosh, that's hard. Probably my The Purrfect Pair au. I want to live in a cottage with Wanda Maximoff more than anything!

22. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I can't think of anything in particular. It just takes me a while to write because of burn out and stuff but I love it and I love sharing it with everyone 🩷

23. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

Oof this is hard for some reason but I do like this from Pine-ing For You

One time when you both were drunkenly singing All I Want for Christmas is You, he pulled you over to the plant hanging from the ceiling and kissed you straight on the mouth. It was a chaste, puckered lips type of kiss and yet it still made your heart flutter from excitement. You both carried on as if nothing happened, never brought it up when you were sober. You eventually decided the incident was merely drunken shenanigans and nothing more, although a part of you wanted to feel his plush lips against yours again.

24. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I'm excited for all that I have planned this year and I hope I can venture into some new territory with my fic writing. I appreciate everyone's support, you all mean the world to me! 🙏🏼 

[bluejaybytes]

💯 🍎 ❤️ 😊 the parkerrrrr

💯💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your OC that others may not know

While it's an out of universe fact, Parker's WIP name was "Jess", which I scrapped because she was always intended to be Jake's girlfriend, and I didn't like how they both had J names. Instead I just swapped the first letter around and made Tess her own OC

For an in-universe fact people don't know about her, I'd say it's probably that her middle name is "Mary-Anne". She really hates it, and ends up (il)legally changing it to "Marion" quietly and just banks on the fact no one but Jake knew she changed it

Final fact is that she has literally like an anti-haircare routine. Her tentacles just naturally are drier than most peoples, but a lot of that is some poor health on her part, so when she is actually physically healthier, she'll just... dry them. She haaates the feeling of actually healthy tentacles and would rather just dry them out

🍎 RED APPLE — where was your oc born? do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? how do they feel about their birthplace?

She was born in a pretty shitty and rundown suburban area of one of the more populated Octarian domes. She fucking hates it there for soooo many reasons and the instant she leaves her goals become to get as far away from there as possible and to never return. Not only because of her horrendously abusive family, but like... it's just not a good place to live! It USED to be a more important area with more higher ranking individuals living around, but the quality has just gone down, and the general view of it by others is that it's meant largely for those who are struggling to hold onto their rapidly falling ranks, something that is absolutely true for Parker's family, which results in a relatively clean and respectable house on the outside, and a falling apart mess on the inside.

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

As much as she's so frequently awful to the people around her, she is basically always willing to suck up her pride and go apologize. Above all else she wants the people in her life that she wants around to stay around, even if that means she has to go apologize for escalating arguments.

She's very confident, and frequently that confidence is not misplaced. With that, she's basically THE biggest supporter of the people she cares about. If they want to do something and they're nervous of it, she WILL push them to do it, and she WILL be their most vocal supporter through it. She'll also threaten the non-supporters, to varying degrees of "being okay with that" from whoever she's trying to support, but hey, at least she's trying!

She's very capable of being charming when she tries. A lot of her dickishness is based in the idea that she has the right to be an asshole, it's FULLY within her right to decide to be cruel and mean, but because she's aware that that's a choice she's making a lot of the time (...not... always!), that also means she's very capable of choosing not to! That's how she's managed to have a reputation as a bit of a ladykiller even with how awful she can be, Parker trying to win someone over is a very different person to Parker who doesn't need someones approval.

😊 SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES — what are your oc's career/general life desires? what do they want to get the most out of life?

SHE DOESN'T KNOW <3 <3 <3

This very question is why she self-destructs and burns literally every bridge she has. With how deeply controlling and abusive her homelife was, to which her escape was the military, so just AS abusive and controlling, she's never really been given the chance to be a person, much less an adult, so the prospect of having that control, having that life where she can have goals she's working towards and a career she cares about, it's entirely outside her understanding of how her world has worked so far, and it terrifies her. Even years after she burns Literally Every Bridge She Can, after she surfaces and starts trying to recover from the decades of trauma she has, she doesn't really have a goal or career or idea of what she wants to get out of life. She wants to be with her partner, she wants to take care of her nudibranch, and she wants to... figure the rest out later.

[brionysea]

soooo vale of shadows on mike's playlist

Type 6 and insane

this line made me wonder if they were talking about the enneagram personality types and if that one specifically applied to mike, so i looked it up and...

yes. i'm gonna take that as an immediate yes

like. these could literally be from the personality section of a mike wheeler wiki page

i'm lowkey convinced that the duffers must have looked at enneagram types when making these characters just like i do

and then there's this bit...

which, if the manifestation theory is true (which the rest of the song heavily supports but that's a different post), explains everything

They are often filled with a nameless anxiety and then try to find or create reasons why.

do you ever notice how much better mike is in situations where he has something to fight against? he's not drifting. he's solid. he has purpose, he has the necessary intelligence and strategic capabilities and leadership skills, he has constant opportunities to prove his own bravery and importance to the people whose opinions he values (and therefore himself)

in normal life, he flounders. he can't convince his parents to let them play their game for 20 more minutes. he doesn't have anything productive to channel his grief into. he avoids his friends. he caves in on himself

that's just an interesting contrast, isn't it?

the annual tragedy coming to hawkins every year also serves to make him feel more like the person he wants to be - a brave knight, fearlessly fighting against the forces of evil - and he can carry that reassurance with him back to the mundane, suburban life that never makes him feel anything but trapped and worthless

but it never sticks, because his insecurities keep getting ripped right back open again, so the monsters keep coming back

this exchange from "the source" (👀) is also particularly interesting in this new context

Mike: They're conspiring against me.

Will: That's what you're concerned about right now?

Mike: It's not my main concern. It's just a sub-concern.

the implication is that mike's being ridiculous for worrying about the made-up idea of max "corrupting" el, but wouldn't it be fucked up if the main problem that he's supposed to be worrying about was made up too? if he's been the titular source the whole time?

idk, i think about the character consequences of a reveal like this all the time. and how obvious it would be in hindsight

but back to enneagrams:

once they establish a trustworthy belief, they do not easily question it, nor do they want others to do so

and this just. makes me a little bit crazy. intelligent late-comer characters like robin and erica aren't allowed to work with mike when he's making those bizarre leaps in logic that match up perfectly with how the UD works and what its weaknesses are, because their tendency to ask smart person questions -> "hey, how the fuck does he know that?" -> the whole game falls apart (and crushes mike with guilt in the process)

seriously, imagine a research scene like the one robin had in the library with nancy, but with mike instead. there wouldn't be an "i don't know" response to what they're looking for, there would be a dead-on response that turns out to correlate exactly with the magic answer they find half an hour later - if they even need to do research in the first place, because mike tends to just make shit up on the spot that's immediately accepted as the show's lore. robin would find that so weird and she would not keep it to herself, especially if it's backed up by a million other instances of mike knowing things he shouldn't like he does every season

the lack of familiarity with mike and how he operates is exactly what would lead to those weird patterns being questioned, because there's no instinctive "well, that's just mike" response to fall back on like there is with the core cast

this paragraph pretty much single-handedly convinced me that the show will end when mike's internal world comes into balance (that or when he dies, which i do and don't like thinking about in equal measure)

think about it: if this whole thing has just been one teenager's insecurities unknowingly being brought to life so that he can beat them back with a stick, when will it stop? when will it end? when he gains the type of self confidence that naturally comes with growing up and growing into himself, or when they die with him

mike might be okay with his death in those circumstances, because he thinks everyone else will be better off without him on an objective level of "the horrors will leave my friends alone forever", but characters like dustin and will and lucas wouldn't let that happen in a million years, no matter what their reactions to mike creating the horrors otherwise are

this makes me even more convinced that the season 4 threat - the one that's the perfect opportunity to tell the internal voices that don't think you have what it takes to make it in the real world to go to hell, if you have the kind of danger-induced determination and self-belief that he does - came from, and was meant for, mike

it would be interesting to determine what level he's at each season, with 1 being the healthiest and 9 being the unhealthiest, but i can't wrap my head around it. if anyone else wants to, please go ahead!

[llamaflu]

💌 simblr asks: what kind of world would you like to see next in TS4?

oooh this is a fun question!

maybe something like Switzerland? like lots of mountains and maybe some lots that kinda go downhill. that would be fun...

or maybe some more warmer climates, places like Columbia. I also am a big fan of more urban worlds in the sims, so I would loveee something similar to Singapore!

on the topic of worlds, I lovee San Sequoia, but I almost with they went more in depth with the hip city part of it and less of the suburban stuff. I know it suits the whole family vibe, but we have soooo much suburban shit in the sims already lol

[kats-fic-recs]

BKDK Fic Recs (AKA 4 of the greatest fics you'll ever read):

1) Crimson Concrete (Words: 56,468 Chapters: 30/30, Teen+)

Bakugou Katsuki was pretty sure he had this vampire shit down to a tee. All he had to do was stay away from the sunlight, avoid churches and not have any attachments to humans...? That was literally how Katsuki had lived his life up until now- it was the exact same, except, he supposed, with much higher stakes... Ha, get it?

This is one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life and the characters and plot are so well-developed. This is a fic that haunts me and I'm certain that I'm not the same person I was before I read it. A little warning tho the ending will punch you in the heart and spit on it. :))

2) Welcome to Magnolia Springs! (Words: 79,395, Chapters: 38/38, Teen+)

Bakugou Katsuki was going to tear up this quinoa-encrusted suburban shit show, one school bake sale at a time.

This is written by the same author of Crimson Concrete (@pearliegrimm ) and they are genuinely so talented. There is some triggering content written so please be mindful of the tags but this story is full of domestic, suburban goodness and I love it. 💕💕

3) Honeymoon High (Words: 115,125 Chapter 18/18, Teen+)

“OI, FUCKFACE! If you think you’re just going to waltz into this fancy-ass church with your fake as shit smile and your miserable bitch of a wife while my friend is sitting on the street carrying YOUR BABY, then YOU need to step right down here SO I CAN DETONATE YOUR ASS UNTIL NO ONE CAN RECOGNIZE YOUR LYING FACE, YOU DIPSHIT EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!”

A beat of silence.

And then all hell broke loose.

It started with a ‘SLAP’ resonating from the bride who activated some quirk to maximize the pain that her ex-fiancé felt. A lady near the front fainted, knocking over the table with the wedding cake and a glass swan sculpture. The scattered remains caused the ring bearer to jump up. Her quirk accidentally activated and sent the brides’ maids into the air. A man with half white and half red hair rushed to save the statue, but ended up tripping over a power line which engulfed the room in darkness. It didn’t take long for everyone else in the building to follow.

In the midst of the glory Katsuki felt at the complete chaos, a calloused hand grabbed his sleeve. He was met with wide and curious green eyes. “Excuse me, I’m the groom. Do I know you?”

.

Fuck. He crashed the wrong wedding.

THIS IS IT. I LOVE THIS WITH MY WHOLE HEART. There is no way I can properly describe how amazing this story is. Be careful as well though because there is some discussion about past sexual abuse so please please be careful.

4) Bakugou's Childhood Sweetheart Survival Guide (Words: 28333 Chapters:4/4, Gen)

Childhood Sweethearts is a Japanese game show series inspired by the popular book The Childhood Friends-To-Sweethearts Contest by Merrywetherweather originating as far back as 2018. Childhood friends who are now lovers from all over the world compete in what is known as the ultimate challenge to prove your love to that girl next door, or to gain confidence to propose to the boy you've been protecting since you were both toddlers. Gaining a huge following and recently signing a contract to have their show aired internationally, the organizers opted to set up camp for the fifth season off the beach that Class 3-A happened to be spending a vacation on.

“Kacchan.”

“No.”

Deku gave him a look. “But I didn’t say anything yet.”

“You were thinking it. That’s enough incentive.”

Otherwise known as that other fanfic where Izuku and Katsuki sign up for a childhood sweethearts competition while remaining 99% oblivious to their growing feelings for each other.

This author also wrote number 3 and is genuinely one of the best authors I've ever come across. (Check out their writing @rirururu ) I adored what they did with this fic and you should just go read it instead of reading my thoughts on this....just go read it

Soooo... yeah these are 4 of the best bkdk fics I've ever read. And if any of these sound vaguely interesting to you I highly HIGHLY recommend reading them. :)💕💕

[mobtism]

what do you think of space and the ocean? Do you prefer one over the other

hate the rdj meme but yknow the version where it says smth like "theyre filled with wonder for the world" or smth like that? i think abt that meme often bc. yeah... thats me

edit: holy shit this ended up being a long post and i didnt even realize... adding a readmore

i love looking up at the stars a lot. i think its all very fascinating and beautiful. i wish stars were more visible where i live... but the suburban light lets only few shine through. i dont have a personal connection to the entirety of space, but stars... suns... theyre very important to me, a part of me. its why i use star emojis for my personal tags... stars and suns have important personal meaning to me,, but i wont get into it now... but i do associate myself with both. while its not exactly space... i do really love the sky. i love to spend time lying down outside and just gazing into it... i feel like a baby in a crib staring up at a mobile lmao. ive seen so many different, beautiful skies near home... purples and pinks and greens and yellows and blues... and no matter what, it's always enamoring to me. and i know its a bit cliché,, but i hope to one day see the northern lights. aurora borealis is a combination of multiple things that are near and dear to my heart: winter/snow... the night sky... and bright, colorful lights.

ive always had a love for the ocean though. aquatic animals are my favorites (alongside reptiles)... and the ocean is so very fascinating to me. in middle school, i had very much wanted to be a marine biologist. i loved learning about the ocean and everything in it. for the longest time, my favorite animal was an octopus, not for gross reasons, but because they are so fucking cool. i used to know so many facts about octopi, but i cant really remember much these days, only the basics... other aquatic animals that i love include, but not limited to: sharks, kraits, horseshoe crabs are my lil guys, my friends... i want to hold them in my hands. crabs in general r so v cool... chesapeake blue crabs are soooo pretty, pelagic red crabs are cool and so funky lookin i love them, they look like a mix btwn a lobster and a crab. however i think ghost crabs are my absolute favorites bc they are like, soooo the epitome of crab. and they come in a variety of colors too!!!!! gosh they are so cool. and they are so fucking neat dungeness crabs are cool too :-)

i also think shrimp are fascinating but i feel differently about them because i like to eat shrimp. manta rays are one of my top favs as well!! love them a lot i think theyre so cool... i could probably talk about aquatic animals for hours but i'll stop here. truly fascinated with all the little guys in there, including the eerie and ominous ones... i love the vastness and depth of the ocean, how inspiring it is to know so little about a world so big and crucial to our own. i have such a love for the water,, it is a piece of my heart... its one reason i love pirates and merfolk, why i would love to be one of either if that were possible. ive felt a connection to the water for as long as i can remember... growing up surrounded by large lakes and multiple small bodies of water too... however ive only seen and been to the ocean three times at the most. i hope to see it more someday, i have a feeling i will.

[tomatoluvr69]

top five movies for gay people

Call me by your name blue is the warmest color Netflix’s Tall Girl Disney’s Luca and the supernatural series finale.

Ok now for real. I had this 95% complete and then my app restarted it was sooooo tragic ugh I’m going to try to recreate it. Disclaimer that this is a huge ask and I’m unqualified and so I’m going to just rattle off some that come to my head and this is not a definitive list and when the cyberjournalist stalking me in 2033 digs this up I’m going to sue for libel. Anyways ! Oh and also I told myself none of the movies by our mutual circles’ faves can go on the list so no Altman/Cassavetes etc. alright here goes.

5. Matilda. Ok this goes on here because the way it looks is immensely riveting. The inside of the Wormwood home is unbelievable and Rita Perlman gives the performance of a lifetime she’s iconic!!!!!! And also it has Miss Honey who is perfect for the mommy issue lesbians amongus. She was doing cottagecore before the dimestore wench who coined the term was even conceived in a suburban bedroom PLUS she roller skates and steals a huge giant mansion back to live in with her ~~found family~~

4. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. If you’re following me, it’s likely you’ve seen the Susan Sarandon quote from the celluloid closet about them guns and penises (or you just spam follow popular text post auteurs, a class of which I’m a reluctant member). Sure whatever that too but also it’s so much fun to say all the lines three seconds after they do and feel your personality be infused for days afterwards and it’s gay to run around a breathtaking western landscape with one other guy idk

3. Stalker by Tarkovsky. This movie is not gay at all but it’s specially designed to microwave the brains of 0.05% of LGBTs of which I am one. I can’t even convey the atmospheric beauty and unease of the world. They’re being irradiated in a nightmarish yet green landscape the entire time. It’s a slow burner for sure but I love it soooo much. Also no one irl ever wants to watch this (or like any of these lol) with me 🤔

2. Tarkovsky reminds me of Jodorowsky which reminds me of DUNE!!!! Dune 1985 dir. David Lynch. This is arguably Lynch’s worst film but I love it sooo much it’s 1980s big budget scifi desert maximalism with absolutely insane character design and sets and Lynch does an absolutely horrible job utilizing almost every single element EXCEPT a young pre-Peaks Kyle Maclachlan who is worth watching the entire thing for he is so.....like so smooth brained but somehow ridiculously compelling. I can’t even describe the way this movie looks. It’s unparalleled. And also Patrick Stewart and Sting play uncles. Which is worth watching.

1. Okay the number one spot is so hard I have no idea what to put here so I’m giving myself to the end of this sentence and then I have to spit something out. The girl reading this!!!! Just kidding. I’m gonna go with. Hmm ugh okay this is so fucking stupid and throw rotten vegetables into my open mouth and I’m so fucking sorry to put an a24 movie on here but I really think more gay people need to give the lighthouse a chance (I know a LOT of people like this movie. I’m not talking about them I’m talking about the people whose tastes are too pretentious for the pretentious people who list the fucking lighthouse as their favorites. One day they’re gonna release the Robert Pattinson erect penis cut whic is one reason. The second reason is that Willem Dafoe’s performance in this reinvigorated my arid withered body and soul like the tear of the goofy goober reinvigorated the dehydrated Patrick and Spongebob. But I’m a Rime of the Ancient Mariner gay so of course this is what I’m going to say but I’ve just revealed my hand as having sheeple taste so idk but this is a Dafoe based decision entirely plus it weeds out the whores and tax collectors who can’t handle a little B&W. Also this is outrageously long and I’m sorry BUT I’m trying to scare off the people who followed from my popular post you know.

[super-cool--cow]

‘Til death do us part, part 3 -- Harry Styles

Word count: 1251

Summary: You’re an assassin and have to work with your (literally) mortal enemy. But can hate turn into something else?

*not my gif*

The house is... ugly. 

Well, technically it’s not ugly it’s just a normal suburban house, white picket fence and all, but to you it's disgusting. Mostly because you just have a different taste but also because it looks just like the house you grew up in. 

Honestly, this whole situation reminds you of your worst fear; becoming like your parents. 

They weren’t mean, they weren’t abusive really, only in the same way that all parents are. 

But their lives were terrifying. They got up everyday, got dressed, went to their 9 to 5 jobs and then they went home where they cooked dinner for you and your sister, Ellie. And at the end of the day, they went to bed. Nothing else. 

Even though this life always seemed absolutely terrifying to you and Ellie it had some perks. 

Every night after your parents went to bed, you and Ellie snuck out and did, just about everything. Sometimes you would get absolutely hammered, other times you would just ride around on your bike until dawn and it was great, fun. 

“You have arrived. Do you want me to bring in your bags?” The chauffeur interrupts your thoughts. When you don’t answer him, Harry sighs with annoyance before saying,

“No thank you. We got it.” You walk out of the car and take the two bags Harry hands you. “Do you have a key?”

“Yeah, I’ll go open the door.” You drag the bags up the garden path, surrounded by rose bushes, too colorful to be natural.

You hear Harry say something to the driver before the engine starts once again and the car drives off. 

Just when you’re about to dig the key out from your pocket, harry comes up behind you, 

“Jesus, why’re you so fucking slow? Open the door already!” If he thinks he can get away with that attitude, he needs to think twice. 

You turn around, staring right at him, “Listen up you dip-shit. I like this plan just as much as you do, m’kay? But we have to do this and unlike you, I’m professional. So you need to get your shit together and talk to me like I’m an actual person and not just one of your fuck-holes. You got it?” 

He’s visibly shocked at your sudden words, but he doesn’t say anything. You turn around towards the door and open it, you need some space from him and it has to be now. 

The second you step inside the house, the smell of detergent strikes your nostrils. Your eyes scan over the living room that you’re now standing in. It looks like every other living room from a low budget high school movie but without the oh so loving family and perfect dog.

Your eyes land on the white envelope on the coffee table and you remember what Michael said about the instructions he had left for you and Harry. 

To Y/N and Harry. 

Here are the guidelines that you must follow in order for this to be a success full mission. 

1. You must share the same bed 

2. In a week there will be a neighborhood party on Saturday. You will attend and you will look happy and in love. The target will attend, befriend him. 

3. If you are to fight, do it quiet. Do not bring any attention to yourselves. 

4. You are to train together. Tomorrow morning a trainer will be at the house, 8 am sharp. Be ready.

5. In case of emergency, call the number below. 

Have fun.

Just when you’ve read the letter, Harry snatches it out of your hands so that he can read it too. I can’t believe I have to live with this guy.

You want to wait for him to finish the letter but he’s unbearably slow so without saying a word you go up the stairs with your bags, to start unpacking. 

The entire house is furnished with paintings and carpets. If it wasn’t so unbearably boring it would be quite lovely. 

Upstairs there are three doors, all of them standing wide open. To your left is the bathroom. It’s nothing special but there is a bathtub, which is always a plus in your book. 

Next to that door is something that looks like an office. A desk, a bookcase, some empty picture frames. Depressing.

Last but not least, on your right side is the bedroom. You step inside and instantly everything stops. The whole world stops spinning the second you see it. 

It’s almost a copy of your parents bedroom, the same lamps, the same bed sheets. Memories flood back into your head, you standing where you are right now saying that you don’t feel too well, you carrying your sister out of the bed before your parents came home from the bar. 

The thoughts take up so much space that you hardly notice Harry coming up the stairs, 

“What are you doing?”

“I- um, nothing. Just... taking in all the glory,” you respond, you can at least try to be nice-ish. You sit down on the floor and start to take out the clothes that Michael had packed for you. 

Harry doesn’t do anything, he just stands there and watches you unpack. 

After a minute or so, you look up at him, annoyed. “What?” you snap. 

“Nothing. You know you really need to chill out, grab a beer or something.” He throws himself down onto the bed making the springs screech loudly. 

“I am chill. When I’m around people I like.” “And who do you like?” At that comment you stay silent. Other than your sister there is no one you’ve ever liked or wanted to be around. “See? People in our business don’t like people. That’s what makes us good.” You still don’t say anything, just start to place your clothes properly in the closet.

“I’m gonna go down and make some food. If you want some,” his face lightens up a bit, “You’ll have to make your own.”

---

“I’m gonna go to sleep. See you tomorrow,” you say to Harry who’s sitting on couch watching some stupid tv show. 

“It’s only 8 pm?”

“Yeah? That trainer is going to be here in the morning. So yeah, I’m going to bed.”

“Jeez,” he mumbles under his breath, just low enough so that he thinks you can’t hear him. But you can. And you’re pissed. 

Maybe it’s because of your low blood sugar, maybe just because you're tired, but something inside of you makes you snap. 

“What the fuck is your problem, Harry? I get it, okay. You’re this badass womanizer who kills people for a living and that just soooo cool or whatever. And I get that you don’t like me, that is fine by me ‘cause I don’t like you either. Actually, I honestly kind of fucking hate you. But I still try to be at least decent to you. Try to do the same.” He’s standing up now, eyes fuming. 

“You think you know so much about me, huh? That sure is interesting. So, can I ask, where do you get all of this information from? Is it just empty assumptions? And by the way, it’s not that I don’t like you. I loathe you.”

“You’re sleeping on the couch.” He scoffs at you before snarling, “Look at us. Already fighting like an old married couple.” 

“Let’s just get this done already.” “Fine by me.” And with that, you stomp upstairs with rage in your veins. 

-----

Please reblog if you enjoyed this and/ or want a part 4! Thank youuuuu

[hlupdate]

Here he comes, one of the planet’s most conspicuous young men, stepping out of the London drizzle and into a dusty suburban pub. If there was an old vinyl record player in the place it would scratch quiet. Instead, the two-dozen punters turn hushed and intent, as if a unicorn has just trotted in off the street, and nobody wants to scare it off. “That’s frickin’ Harry frickin’ Styles,” whispers a young man at the bar, “in this pub.” The pop star is asked what he wants to drink and in a voice already inclined to undertones, quietly orders a cup of tea.

A former teen star who is now 25, a happier and rockier solo artist since his boyband One Direction split a few years ago, Styles has hidden himself inside a large, swamp-green parka. He’s tall, around the 6ft mark, and carries himself with a slight stoop. If Styles could only do something about his appearance from the neck up (elfin brow, wide Joker smile, a face that’s recognisable across multiple continents) you sense he could drink in pubs like this anonymously enough. As it is, cover blown, he removes the parka. A woolly jumper beneath has a picture of the planet Saturn on it. Maybe they’ve heard of Styles there, too.

We take a seat in the corner. On nearby tables, conversations start to sputter as people try to keep their own talk ticking along on autopilot while straining to hear what Styles says. I ask him about the sheer strangeness of this and other aspects of fame. Full stadiums, swooning admirers, an excess of opportunity and cash. Why isn’t Styles an absolute ordeal of a human being by now? Keith Richards, at a comparable stage, imagined himself the pirate leader of a travelling nation-state, unbound by international law. Elton John was on vast amounts of cocaine. Meanwhile, here’s Harry, known in the music industry as a bit of a freak, medically, having maintained abnormally high levels of civility in his system. 

Styles tilts his head, flattered. There are others, he promises. “People who are successful, and still nice. It’s when you meet the people who are successful and aren’t nice, you think: What’s yer excuse? Cos I’ve met the other sort.”

Styles read Keith Richards’ autobiography a while back, and he recently finished Elton’s, too. (“Soooo much cocaine,” he marvels.) We talk for a bit about whether extreme dissolute behaviour and artistic greatness go hand in hand. Styles, who has just released his second solo album, Fine Line, the penultimate track of which is called Treat People With Kindness, has to hope not. “I just don’t think you need to be a dick to be a good artist. But, then, there are also a lot of good artists who are dicks. So. Hmm. Maybe I need to start scaring babies in supermarkets?” 

A couple of lads hustle over to offer drinks. A photo is requested; they say they’ll wait. I’m weirdly anxious about Styles’s phone, which is slung on the table in front of him. What must be the black-market value of that thing? If fans were to get hold of it, would they want to open Styles’s music app first, to listen to tracks from the new album, or rush to see his messages and calls, to find out who Styles has been flirting with late at night? The interest in his music has always run at a ratio of about 50/50 with the interest in who he is dating.

It’s a ratio Styles tries to adjust in favour of the music by being vague about his ex-partners, real and rumoured (Taylor Swift, Kendall Jenner, Parisian model Camille Rowe), diverting to discuss his songs about failed relationships. A year ago, when Styles was floating around near this pub in north London, where he lives, and California, where he tends to record, looking for inspiration for the new album, his close friend Tom Hull told him: “Just date amazing women, or men, or whatever, who are going to fuck you up… Let it affect you and write songs about it.” 

Styles, who writes in collaboration with Hull and producer Tyler Johnson, sounds as if he took the advice. The new album, Fine Line, is at its best when capturing late-hours moments, drunk calls, “wandering hands”, kitchen snogs. A golden-haired lover recurs. There are up tracks, down tracks, some with the trippy delirium of harpsichord-era Stones, others with the angsty Britpop swell of strings. While I listened, I couldn’t help scribbling down names, possible subjects. On the lyric “There’s a piece of you in how I dress” I wrote: maybe Kendall? In a song about a lover “way too bright for me”: surely Taylor.

Styles says he keeps to a general rule: write what comes and don’t think about it too much afterwards. The only time he worries about an individual lyric is if it risks putting an ex in a difficult position. “If a song’s about someone, is that fine? Or is that gonna get annoying for them, if people try to decipher it?” Has he ever got that judgment call wrong and taken a bollocking from an angry ex? Styles raises an eyebrow. “Maybe ask me in a month.” 

I quiz him on something I’ve often wondered about. Why are the very famous so inclined to hook up with the very famous? From the outside it looks twice the hassle, with twice the odds of ending badly. “Don’t we all do that, though?” Styles asks. “Go into things that feel relatively doomed from the start?” I ask him why he doesn’t date normals. He seems tickled: “Um. I mean, I do. I have a private life. You just don’t know about it.” 

Styles doesn’t particularly like being asked about his love life, but is amused all the same, as he is about most things. When I ask about the logistics of someone as well known as him dating someone anonymous (“Do you need to give them, like, some sort of primer?”), Styles snorts with laughter. 

“Uh-h-h. Like any conversation, I guess, it’s easier if you’re honest. But I try to let it come up when it comes up. Cos that’s a weird thing to talk about, y’know? If you’ve just started seeing someone, and you’re, like: [he adopts a throaty, mission-briefing voice] So! This is what’s gonna happen!” Styles holds out his hands: no, ta. “I don’t wanna have that conversation, man. It would be fucking weird.” 

And not very sexy, I say.

“Not sexy,” Styles says, “no.”

A quick aside about his accent, which is hard to capture in print. (“Nat sexy, no.”) After a workout in a hotel gym recently, Styles says he was taken aback (“taken abeck”) to be asked by a stranger whether he was speaking in a fake voice. He was appalled. But after so long crossing borders and time zones, living and working between England and the US, the accent has undergone a jazzy remix, and tends to get farthest from its Cheshire roots when he’s around strangers. Once Styles begins to get comfortable in the pub, the flatter, no-nonsense sounds of his youth return. Nowpe he says, for nope. Fook, for fuck.

“What the fook are they?” This was the response of his childhood pals, he remembers, back in the village of Holmes Chapel, when little Harry had the gumption to show up in the playground wearing Chelsea boots instead of the approved chunky trainers. Styles’s parents had separated when he was very young, but there is no origin-story trauma: he has always stayed close to both. His mother, Anne, would praise his singing voice in the car, and when Styles was 16 it was agreed he could audition for a singing contest on TV.

“The craziest part about the whole X Factor thing,” says Styles, who auditioned for the ITV reality show in 2010, “is that it’s so instant. The day before, you’ve never been on telly. Then suddenly…” Suddenly you’re a piece of national property. “You don’t think at the time, ‘Oh, maybe I should keep some of my personal stuff back for myself.’ Partly because, if you’re a 16-year-old who does that, you look like a jumped-up little shit. Can you imagine? ‘Sorry, actually, I’d rather not comment…’ You don’t know what to be protective of.”

By the winter of 2010, Styles was a fan favourite, a key member of One Direction, a five-piece that enjoyed enormous national exposure and gathered millions of fans before any music had been released. Cameras filmed every part of their rise. There wasn’t any time in the dark to practise, test things out, mentally brace. “We didn’t get to dip in a toe,” Styles says. “But, listen, I was a kid, all I knew was: I didn’t have to go to school any more. I thought it was fucking great.” He remembers having a lot of fun, and being well taken care of. He jokes: “Maybe it’s something I’ll have to deal with a bit later. When I wake up in my 40s and think: Arrrggh.”

In February 2012, One Direction were feted at the Brit Awards, hours before they were due to fly to the US for the first time. On TV that night they looked young, silly, chuffed – on the precipice of something huge, and with no clue at all. Their subsequent wonder-run (five platinum albums, four world tours) had its foundations in their ridiculous popularity in the States. Right away, Styles remembers, “We were fuelling a machine. Keeping the fire going.” He remembers it as a stimulating time; maybe overstimulating. “Coming out of it, when the band stopped, I realised that the thing I’d been missing, because it was all so fast paced, was human connection.”

I first met Styles in 2014, around the time the lack of human connection was starting to bite. One Direction were promoting their penultimate album and I’d been commissioned to write about themthe Guardian. Management felt the boys were so exhausted that my minutes in their presence had to be strictly counted. Inside a circle of cripplingly hot lights, while someone ran the stopwatch, we interacted as humanly as we could.

I remember how jaded the best singer in the group, Zayn Malik, seemed. (Malik was weeks away from quitting.) I also remember how flattered and bewildered the others were to be asked a few grownup questions – and not what Louis Tomlinson would later describe to me as “who’s-your-favourite-superhero… all that shit”. Styles was watchful and quiet that day. By total chance, a week later, we were in the same London cafe and he tapped my shoulder. He was having lunch with friends. “Will ya join us?” 

t struck me as a quietly classy move. I was fascinated to see him interact with mates he’d chosen for himself. Styles was dry and funny, older than his years. After lunch we said the usual things about keeping in touch, and followed each other on Twitter. I kept an eye on his updates, about leaving One Direction, releasing an impressive, self-titled debut album in 2017, playing for 36,000 people in Madison Square Garden in New York, acting in Christopher Nolan’s Oscar-nominated war movie Dunkirk. Meanwhile, I did my best to manage the mess that had been made of my own account after Styles’s Twitter follow ignited a small explosion of teenage longing in my mentions. For at least a year I received weekly, sometimes daily, pleas from people who wanted messages conveyed to “H”. Still now, every few days, fans in America, Asia and Europe follow me to “see what H sees” in their timeline. 

He has around 50 million social media followers, and with that comes the ability to ripple the internet like somebody airing a bedsheet. I’ve noticed, though, how rarely Styles directs people to support specific causes, last doing so in 2018, when he encouraged people to join a march against gun violence. Why don’t you use your influence more, I ask? “Because of dilution. Because I’d prefer, when I say something, for people to think I mean it.” He runs his fingertips across the table. “To be honest, I’m still searching for that one thing, y’know. Something I can really stand up for, and get behind, and be like: This Is My Life Fight. There’s a power to doing the one thing. You want your whole weight behind it.”

It’s one of the things that sets Styles apart, the way he puts his whole weight behind the different aspects of this strange job. If you watch footage of him as a guest host on Saturday Night Live last month, Styles plunges in, fully inhabiting the silliness of every sketch. He has good songs in his repertoire (2017’s ballad Sign Of The Times stands out), and would probably admit to some middling songs that attest to his relative inexperience as a writer. But whichever of his songs Styles performs, he goes all-in, trusting that his zest and energy will hold an audience’s attention. He approaches this interview in roughly the same spirit, not enjoying every question, fidgeting, pleading for clemency once or twice, but giving everything due consideration.

I bring up something Styles joked about earlier: the possibility of waking up in his 40s with deferred mental health problems.

“Mm,” he says

Have you thought about therapy, I ask, to get ahead of that?

“I go,” he says. “Not every week. But whenever I feel I need it. For a really long time I didn’t try therapy, because I wanted to be the guy who could say: ‘I don’t need it.’ Now I realise I was only getting in my own way.” He shrugs. “It helps.”

Lately he’s been reading a lot (Lisa Taddeo’s Three Women stood out). He’s watched a lot of Netflix (crime thrillers and music docs). He recently cried through Slave Play on Broadway. I sense in Styles, at 25, a pent-up undergraduate hunger, maybe a desire to make up for lost time. “I’ve definitely been wanting to learn stuff, try stuff,” he says. “Things I didn’t grow up around. Things I’d always been a little bit sceptical about. Like therapy, like meditation. All I need to hear is someone saying, ‘Apparently, it’s amazing’, and I’ll try it. When I was in Los Angeles once, I heard about juice cleanses. I thought, yeah, I’ll do a juice cleanse.”

How messy were the results?

“You mean…?” Styles raises an eyebrow, recalling the poos. “They were all right. I was just hungry. And bored.”

One notable feature of Styles’s solo career has been his headlong embrace of unconventional clothing. A 2017-18 tour could have been sponsored by the Dulux colour wheel: mustard tones in Sydney, shocking pink in Dallas. In a more serious sense, some of Styles’s choices have fed into an important political discussion about gendered fashion. In May, as a co-host at the Met Gala in New York, he stepped out in a sheer blouse and a pearl earring. One evening’s work challenged a lot of stubborn preconceptions about who gets to wear what.

He says: “What women wear. What men wear. For me it’s not a question of that. If I see a nice shirt and get told, ‘But it’s for ladies.’ I think: ‘Okaaaay? Doesn’t make me want to wear it less though.’ I think the moment you feel more comfortable with yourself, it all becomes a lot easier.”

What do you mean, I ask?

Styles is leaning forward, hands folded around his cup of tea. “A part of it was having, like, a big moment of self-reflection. And self-acceptance.” He has a habit, when he’s made a definitive statement, of raising his chin and nodding a little, as if to decide whether he still agrees with himself. “I think it’s a very free, and freeing, time. I think people are asking, ‘Why not?’ a lot more. Which excites me. It’s not just clothes where lines have been blurred, it’s going across so many things. I think you can relate it to music, and how genres are blurring…”

Sexuality, too, I say.

“Yep,” says Styles. “Yep.”

There’s a popular perception, I say, that you don’t define as straight. The lyrics to your songs, the clothes you choose to wear, even the sleeve of your new record – all of these things get picked apart for clues that you’re bisexual. Has anyone ever asked you though?

“Um. I guess I haaaaave been asked? But, I dunno. Why?”

You mean, why ask the question?

“Yeah, I think I do mean that. It’s not like I’m sitting on an answer, and protecting it, and holding it back. It’s not a case of: I’m not telling you cos I don’t want to tell you. It’s not: ooh this is mine and it’s not yours.”

What is it then?

“It’s: who cares? Does that make sense? It’s just: who cares?”

I suppose my only question, then, is about the stuff that looks like clue dropping. Because if you don’t want people to care, why hint? Take the album sleeve for Fine Line. With its horizontal pink and blue stripes, a splash of magenta, the design seems to gesture at the trans and bisexual pride flags. Which is great – unless the person behind it happens to be a straight dude, sprinkling LGBTQ crumbs that lead nowhere. Does that make sense?

Styles nods. “Am I sprinkling in nuggets of sexual ambiguity to try and be more interesting? No.” As for the rest, he says, “in terms of how I wanna dress, and what the album sleeve’s gonna be, I tend to make decisions in terms of collaborators I want to work with. I want things to look a certain way. Not because it makes me look gay, or it makes me look straight, or it makes me look bisexual, but because I think it looks cool. And more than that, I dunno, I just think sexuality’s something that’s fun. Honestly? I can’t say I’ve given it any more thought than that.”

In our musty corner of the pub we’ve somehow passed a couple of hours in intense discussion. We’ll lighten up, before Styles heads home, with some chat about clever films (Marriage Story), stupider viral videos (the little boy who’s just learned the word “apparently”), that favourite-superhero stuff that, after all, has its place. He talks about the curious double time scheme of a pop star’s life – those crammed 18-hour days and then the sudden empty off-time when Styles might find himself walking miles across London to buy a book, afterwards congratulating himself: “Well, that’s an hour filled.”

Before we stand up I ask if he’s minded any of my questions.

He pushes out his lips, possibly recalling them one by one, then shakes his head. “What I would say, about the whole being-asked-about-my-sexuality thing – this is a job where you might get asked. And to complain about it, to say you hate it, and still do the job, that’s just silly. You respect that someone’s gonna ask. And you hope that they respect they might not get an answer.”

I tell him I do.

“Cool.”

Styles has to find those lads who wanted a photo. He scoops his phone off the table and flicks his thumb around the screen. Lately, he says, when he messes around on his phone in an idle moment, it’s mostly to look at videos – clips that his friends have sent him, in which their kids sing along to music he’s made. “Never gets old,” Styles says, beaming.

A few years ago, when he emerged from the boyband, blinking, shattered, he set himself three tasks: prioritise friends, learn how to be an adult, achieve a proper balance between the big and the small. Full stadiums, provocative outfits – Styles genuinely loves these things. “But I guess I’ve realised, as well,” he says, “that the coolest things are not always the cool things. Do you know what I mean?” He grabs his parka and his phone and, a little stooped, heads for home.

[greatshell-rider]

same as you asked me - 3, 5, 17 for book asks?

3. What were your top five books of the year? 

hmmm ohohoho okay im looking at my reading log and wow was january a long time ago but also i read some slappin books this year let’s see i gotta limit this to five huh

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel I read in late jan/early feb before covid really hit and it was awkward because it’s about the people living in the world after a disease wiped out like 90% of the population or smth haha talk about foreshadowing huh BUT i ended up really liking it. this book could in the 17. question because i was skeptic at first but once i clicked with the writing style i vibed with it a lot and the ending was really sweet/hopeful

Inda Quartet by Sherwood Smith listen I read the latter three books this year (and im grouping them all together for this question) and they were so good. if you want a canonical autistic main character becoming a pirate and discovering the power of (gay) friendship, this series is for you. it’s got great worldbuilding and writing style, so once you get used to the billion titles and oft-shifting omnipresent 3rd person pov, it’s golden. v gay and good and made me cry at least a few times and it ended really well and i would in fact die for inda

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir I read in early march right before my school shut down i think and i kept putting the book face-up on my desk hoping people would comment on how hot gideon is so i could tell them she is in fact gay and wields a longsword and has a necromancer gf IN SPACE so tell me a better premise than that. its sequel Harrow the Ninth was equally good, of which i did a lot of yelling about. plot, characters, and worldbuilding are all 👌 and i am hype for the third book

Rhythm of War by Brandon Sanderson yeah you know this one had to be here. fav parts were kaladin and shallan’s povs. their arcs were really good im love them

And i read a lot of manga this year that’s how i met my goodreads goal but Pandora Hearts by Jun Mochizuki made me cry i think. listen march was a long time ago i barely remember anything BUT this series was delightful. i liked break a lot, and gil and oz and alice of course they were all great.

honorable mentions include Holes by Louis Sachar (reread it in jan and it was as amazing as always), The Martian by Andy Weir, D. Gray-Man by Katsura Hoshino, Red Mantle by Maria Turtschaninoff, and i also read This Is How You Lose the Time War that was a fun book!

5. What genre did you read the most of? 

Manga and fantasy. I reread mistborn eras 1 and 2 and also stormlight and then fantasy is just my staple genre soooo. ive also had to read classics for ap lit so while i haven’t read much i have read more of it this year than i ever have in all my life, woohoo. reading moby dick after spn’s finale was a treat

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

Station Eleven fits here but another one is Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng! i read this in between the last two books of the Inda quartet and it was perfecting timing to do so because it only took me two days to read it and then Treason’s Shore arrived from the library . . . anyway, my aunt gave it to me for either christmas/bday a year or two ago and my immediate reaction was “ugh realistic fiction set in suburban america gross” so i didn’t read it until this year and it was super good!! writing style was gorgeous and ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS IS ACE!!! LIKE HELLO I LOVE YOU. she had immaculate vibes from the beginning so i decided she was my favorite and then it turned out she’s ace???? YEAH HER VIBES WERE IMMACULATE I KNEW I LOVED YOU. it’s not a major point of the plot or anything but it is there, and it made me go !!!!!!!!! :’)

[bunnykaye]

Throwback Thursday for @aosrecweek it is!!! Here are some of the fics I LOVE that are were written quite some time ago, but I still adore! Some of them are really going a few years back (2014, 2015, 2016) because early on when I first started the fandom, I was scouring the FitzSimmons tag in AO3 and patiently wading on the last pages of the tag for fics lol

Standing Alone in a Crowded Room by @amandajoyce118​ (G, 10k words, 2014) - a S2A AU after Jemma goes back to SHIELD after her undercover mission on HYDRA. The mutual pining in this one-shot will make you feel so much for Fitz and Jemma, but more so on Jemma coz she really missed Fitz so much! But the journey towards mending their friendship and the possibility of something more will be worth the read!

I Know Something Now (I Didn't Before) by SuburbanSun (G, 10k words, 2015) - a YouTubers AU! Also an enemies-to-friends-to-lovers fic where Fitz and Simmons meet at Vidcon where they consider each other rivals (heh) but it soon turns into flirting in the middle of the con lol

Afraid of the Light by Madalayna (E, 34k words, 2015) - OOOOHHHHH. A S3 AU where there was really no Space Rando (Will was just in her mind), Jemma has PTSD, and Fitz left SHIELD not long after. However, he gets called back a few years as a consultant after Jemma and the rest of the team hit a roadblock with a weapon that targets Inhumans. This fic is ANGST CENTRAL, Y’ALL. Prepare your hearts. But it’ll be worth it!

Close your eyes and look at me by lettertoelise (T, 9k words, 2015) - kind of a Soulmate AU where Jemma sees Fitz in her dreams, a different circumstance or event every time. But in real life she’s never met him. And then Jemma moves and it happens that they’re going to be living in the same apartment building! 

for whatever we lose by dilkirani (T, 7k words, 2016) - OH MAN. If you thought canon 2A was angsty, THIS S2A AU IS EVEN ANGSTIER! Fitz wakes up after 9 days of coma.. BUT HE DOESN’T REMEMBER ANYTHING. NOT EVEN JEMMA. The stress and sadness of Fitz not being able to remember her, not to mention him being uncomfortable with her whenever the team is not present, prompts Jemma to do a very reckless move that will change her too. (And then it gets even angstier!) Bring tissues, hold someone’s hand. The angst will be worth it!

1 Night (+9 Months) by theartofbeinganerd (T, 49k words, 2017) - Eeeeee!!!! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this fic! AU where the Hunter’s best man (Fitz) and Bobbi’s maid of honor (Jemma) has a one-night stand and will create something that will change both of them forever. This fic is too cute, but it has lots of good ‘ol mutual pining too! Oh, and this fic is just Part 1 of a series of fics!!!

linger on, your pale blue eyes by dilkirani (T, 7k words, 2017) - HANDS DOWN my most favorite post-Framework AU EVER. Prepare LOTS OF TISSUES coz you’ll surely need it!! Fitz has depression, but he’s also seeing a therapist. *GASP* And Jemma does too. *DOUBLE GASP* Also, majority of this fic is Fitz’s journal entries, and it will break your heart at some of the things he has written. THIS IS SO FREAKING ANGSTY, AND IT WILL BREAK YOUR HEART, BUT IT’LL HEAL IT AT THE SAME TIME. IT’S SOOOO GOOD.

The Pact by chinesebakery (T, 3k words, 2017) - Fitz and Jemma’s friends are getting married left and right, but they’re still single, so Jemma proposes a good ‘ol marriage pact.. except Fitz wants nothing to do with it. 

Desiderium Templi by @kienova66​ (E, 7k words, 2017) - *fans self* A S2 AU fic where Fitz and Jemma, still barely speaking to each other, gets infected/inhales alien dust that turns out to be an aphrodisiac. YEAAAAHHHHH. Imagine what comes (HEHHHH) after. XD Even Mack and Trip (and May) can’t handle it. 😝

Petrie, Like the Dish by itsavolcano (T, 16k words, 2017) - post-fall of SHIELD AU where Fitz and Jemma pose as a married couple who goes to live on a suburban community to avoid getting abducted by HYDRA. There’s a surprise appearance of two very special people towards the end, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised!

get lost and then get found (and you'll come back to me) by @leopoldjamesfitzs​ (T, 13k words, 2017) - A breakdown of Fitz’s thoughts and feelings during the different stages of his friendship and relationship with Jemma. ALL THE FEELS!

Marauder Protocol by @mech-bull​ (E, 12k words, 2018) - A S5A AU where Marauder Fitz buys the Destroyer of Worlds along with the Servitor that comes with her as a package deal. Fitz is very brusque and rude with Jemma at first but his character changes as the chapters progresses.

Breathe by edema_ruh (G, 5k words, 2018) - The eight times Fitz loses his breath over Jemma through the years. That’s all. ❤️

B is for Blue, E is for Ecru by shes_an_oddbird (G, 5k words, 2018) - A professors AU where Fitz and Jemma share the same classroom for their respective classes and they communicate with each other by leaving messages on sticky notes. Fluffy and cute!

No Time Like The Present by @robotgort (T, 10k words, 2018) - Eeeeee!!!!! A 1x06/5B AU where Jemma throws herself off the Bus, but wakes up in the future.. half naked.. and lying on a bed with her best friend. Her much older-looking best friend. WHAT? This is such an interesting premise on how to change events in the past.. ESPECIALLY NOW that it seems canon is heading that way for the final season 😉

[hellsbellschime]

blueberrymayrose said: when i visited america i was told to watch for ‘suspiciously friendly’ animals, told that wild animals that approach humans might be potentially rabid. we don’t have rabies in australia, but have been told all sorts of horrific stories about it. i was also taught over here on the other side of the squirrel free world that squirrels are shy woodland creatures.

blueberrymayrose said: imagine my horror to be in an american park and to have all these supposedly shy woodland creatures approaching me, i’m like “awe they’re soooo cute…..wait a min, that’s not shy woodland creature behaviour- that’s suspiciously friendly, potentially rabid!!!” girl from the australian bush, who steps over snakes, has no issue with spiders, jumping on park benches in america scared of squirrels.

LMAOOOOOO OH MY GOD I’M FUCKING DECEASED at the thought of you being afraid of squirrels. Honestly if you were anywhere suburban or urban then animals be like that, they just cohabit with enough humans that they’re not going to be nearly as skittish as the bushland creatures. But animals like squirrels and pigeons are like, a hair away from domesticated animals. If you just stand still and have food they’ll probably get on your body without too much hesitation, and that’s totally normal behavior for them.

[sierrabinondo]

woodland creatures - day 3 (orlando)

the first thing i woke up to on my birthday, monday, september 23rd on an air mattress was my google assistant singing happy birthday to me. which is unfortunately not like rolling over to the sight of my hot boyfriend, but i was on tour with my closest friends, so i was perfectly content. 

right as tour started i was still getting over the roughest cold i’ve had in years, and up until this particular morning i was still feeling super shitty on and off. we had a long drive ahead of us to orlando, but i needed meds so badly just in case. i felt fine thanks to the nyquil i took last night and the dayquil i then took (thanks matt), but i barely made it through the gig the night before. like BARELY. i was holding up and then the tickle in my throat returned in the middle of synapse fires, our last song in the set. we made a target run and then hit up a bagel shop. navigating target stores away from home is so difficult, i wish it was easier to get in and out. but target runs are always fun with these guys.

i was behind the wheel for the orlando drive, so i got to play whatever i wanted. we listened to some music and then an episode of my brother, my brother and me, my favorite podcast. the new episode wasn’t up yet so we just listened to the most recent one, crash bandicoot’s wallet chain (lol). i feel bad that podcasts are mostly what i listen to but everyone seemed to enjoy it, we were making dry aged food jokes for a couple days after. driving on tour is so zen, i can go for hours without stopping. i just hate pumping my own gas. 

drivers in florida are still as crazy as drivers in new jersey though. it’s tough to go fast in a huge van so people can be insensitive on the road. and sometimes turning is scary because you can feel the weight of the van shift. but otherwise it’s crazy easy. 

miraculously we made it early despite the long drive, and went to go get food after we parked in the venue lot. joe, kris and i went to hawker’s right across the street. it’s an asian street food restaurant, seemingly a lil upscale, but still on budget. the food was amazing. they showed us the size of the plates they were going to serve the food on which was SMOL, so i ordered 4 things. but it turned out to be too much food. i got a tiger salad which was grilled octopus and veggies in rice wine vinegar, steamed chicken dumplings, edamame, and one other thing i’m forgetting haha. it sucks, i have to be hyper conscious of what i eat before i sing because of acid reflux and just general discomfort so i couldn’t get anything crazy. but despite my dietary restrictions i still had an amazing meal.

load-in was super easy and chill. we set our merch up early and just hungout. i thought it was super suspicious that literally EVERYONE seemed to disappear after we did, but i just figured everyone was getting food or something. at this show we gigged with charlene joan who is a singer-songwriter that i met in diy tour postings and all gone grey, who is my friend daisy’s band. i connected with daisy when i originally reached out to her other band i met a yeti to book them. they weren’t available but her other band was, so i was like NOPe yup this is also good. just wanted to gig with her!! loved having ladies on this show. and being friends with daisy is so cool because we have no girls in prog post-hardcore. i think like maybe native world, lucrecia (more prog metal but i think they still overlap) and that’s all i can think of. even though charlene wasn’t the same genre as us i literally did not give a fuck. she’s an incredible singer. and i love mixed genre shows. she was super amped about opening for the tour from the JUMP, promoted the gig, and she was an absolute sweetheart. i can’t sing enough praises about both these ladies and their bands, so lucky to know them. all awesome musicians. and charlene gave me a PLANT for my birthday!!!

so i consider orlando as the worst set i played. here’s why. and this is going to suck because it’s also the BIGGEST positive of the whole gig, but so, soooo many of my friends that live in orlando came out. so many!! holy shit. people i had not seen in almost a year or a whole year. i was seriously overwhelmed by the support. and a lot of these people were people who had never, ever seen me perform in any capacity. so i got in my head and got even more nervous about performing. i fucked up and cracked soooo much. and i couldn’t read the crowd as well as i could the night before, i couldn’t tell if anyone was into it at all. so that sucked, i felt like i could have done way better. it was still fun but i was still just so stressed. 

on our past tours i used to sulk around after a bad set but it was my birthday and i knew i was going to experience a horrible depressive episode if i didn’t try to combat it. i remembered what my therapist said about trying to accept compliments even if i disagree, and that there’s no use trying to read into anything or discern whether or not someone is lying to me about how well i performed to be fake (literally have seen people do this to others!!!) so i decided to just shake it off. i was all the more better for it. 

on this tour i’ve been doing taylor’s skit in i drink juice during pulses.’ set (an honor!!!). so, i go up to do my part for i drink juice, and i grab the mic. and the guys just, stop playing. and matt turns to me and he’s like “it’s sIERRA’S BIRTHDAAAY” and i was like “i just wanted to do the skit” lmfao

um literally the cutest moment though, they planned it literally like that day in a separate nd secret group chat with my bandmates :’))) and everyone disappeared earlier because they were trying to find me cupcakes for after the show hahaha. it was weird to not have a typical birthday this year but not complaining whatsoever. my friends made me very happy.

i got way too carried away with drinking, after being treated to some shots and seltzers i was too trashed to pack up merch myself hahaha. i literally kept apologizing to everyone for how useless i was and those poor people had to do everything for me. i’m not super fond of white claw (more of a truly/bon & viv guy), but they had mango and it was the one flavor i STILL hadn’t tried. it’s easily the best one. i was only pregaming for the party back at the airbnb in kissimmee. which... was one of the best ideas we had for this tour. holy shit. what a move. it was so sick having a whole house to ourselves. we arrive and it’s in a little suburban neighborhood with terra cotta houses. first thing we did was settle down with our taco bell feasts and then get in our bathing suits to go swimming in the pool. 

after swimming we played quiplash for a really long while. after a few games i looked at the clock and it’s like 3:30 am, holy shit we didn’t go to bed until 4. but i was having so, so much fun that i lost track of time. we all did. i was laughing until it hurt and just basking in the bliss that i felt.

[firelord-frowny]

WE LITERALLY DON’T NEED EVERYTHING TO BE LIT UP AT NIGHT ALL THE TIME OH MY FUCKING GOD 

IT’S CALLED A FLASHLIGHT 

IT’S CALLED HEADLIGHTS

IT’S CALLED MAYBE-YOU-DON’T-ACTUALLY-NEED-TO-RUN-TO-THE-STORE-FOR-SOME-SNACKS-AT-3AM

i mean YES it’s obviously important to have the option of being able to safely navigate outdoors at night, and there are legitimate reasons for why it would be necessary for any person to be traveling at night. 

but it doesn’t need to be a default and the only reason why it IS the ~default~ in urban/suburban areas is because people have become acclimated to a culture/lifestyle that requires being out-and-about after sunset because everybody just haaaaaaaaaaaaas to have the whole fucking world at their fingertips at all hours bc god FORBID anyone need to Wait Until Tomorrow for anything at all. 

hella wish it could be illegal for non-essential businesses to operate after sunset. 

go home omfg let people GO HOME LET PEOPLE RELAX LET PEOPLE ABIDE BY THE NATURAL SIGNAL THAT IT’S TIME TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT!!!! if people wanna stay up and commune with friends or family at night, then we should be able to do that, but the world doesn’t need to be ablaze with  artificial light in order for that to happen oh my FUCKING god. 

i can already heeeeeaaaar somebody bitching about how streetlights are soooo important for allowing people to drive safely at night, to which i obviously respond, STAY OFF THE ROADS AT NIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!! i know, i KNOW, people by and large don’t really have that option, but my whole point is that people should have that option, and it should be easier/more convenient for someone to stay off the roads at night. and also??? slow the fuck down. hella fast driving is one factor that makes well-lit roads a critical safety precaution, but if people could perhaps maybe be so bothered as to refrain from doing 90 on a winding, 2-lane, country road, then perhaaaaaaaaaaps it wouldn’t need to be so fucking bright. 

just???? sigh.

can you imagine???? can you IMAGINE how much less stressful so many people’s lives would be if our culture facilitated and encouraged people to Stop Doing Work after it’s dark out??? 

the universe was so kind as to give us consistent periods of light and darkness, and evolution was so kind as to use the dark hours as a built-in dormancy period so we could be well-rested and refreshed to take on the next day’s responsibilities, but nooooooooooooooooo. why dedicate several hours to rest and recuperation and spending time with loved ones when we could instead just work all fucking night???