#I’m a rambler I’m sorrrrry

[tomatoluvr69]

top five movies for gay people

Call me by your name blue is the warmest color Netflix’s Tall Girl Disney’s Luca and the supernatural series finale.

Ok now for real. I had this 95% complete and then my app restarted it was sooooo tragic ugh I’m going to try to recreate it. Disclaimer that this is a huge ask and I’m unqualified and so I’m going to just rattle off some that come to my head and this is not a definitive list and when the cyberjournalist stalking me in 2033 digs this up I’m going to sue for libel. Anyways ! Oh and also I told myself none of the movies by our mutual circles’ faves can go on the list so no Altman/Cassavetes etc. alright here goes.

5. Matilda. Ok this goes on here because the way it looks is immensely riveting. The inside of the Wormwood home is unbelievable and Rita Perlman gives the performance of a lifetime she’s iconic!!!!!! And also it has Miss Honey who is perfect for the mommy issue lesbians amongus. She was doing cottagecore before the dimestore wench who coined the term was even conceived in a suburban bedroom PLUS she roller skates and steals a huge giant mansion back to live in with her ~~found family~~

4. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. If you’re following me, it’s likely you’ve seen the Susan Sarandon quote from the celluloid closet about them guns and penises (or you just spam follow popular text post auteurs, a class of which I’m a reluctant member). Sure whatever that too but also it’s so much fun to say all the lines three seconds after they do and feel your personality be infused for days afterwards and it’s gay to run around a breathtaking western landscape with one other guy idk

3. Stalker by Tarkovsky. This movie is not gay at all but it’s specially designed to microwave the brains of 0.05% of LGBTs of which I am one. I can’t even convey the atmospheric beauty and unease of the world. They’re being irradiated in a nightmarish yet green landscape the entire time. It’s a slow burner for sure but I love it soooo much. Also no one irl ever wants to watch this (or like any of these lol) with me 🤔

2. Tarkovsky reminds me of Jodorowsky which reminds me of DUNE!!!! Dune 1985 dir. David Lynch. This is arguably Lynch’s worst film but I love it sooo much it’s 1980s big budget scifi desert maximalism with absolutely insane character design and sets and Lynch does an absolutely horrible job utilizing almost every single element EXCEPT a young pre-Peaks Kyle Maclachlan who is worth watching the entire thing for he is so.....like so smooth brained but somehow ridiculously compelling. I can’t even describe the way this movie looks. It’s unparalleled. And also Patrick Stewart and Sting play uncles. Which is worth watching.

1. Okay the number one spot is so hard I have no idea what to put here so I’m giving myself to the end of this sentence and then I have to spit something out. The girl reading this!!!! Just kidding. I’m gonna go with. Hmm ugh okay this is so fucking stupid and throw rotten vegetables into my open mouth and I’m so fucking sorry to put an a24 movie on here but I really think more gay people need to give the lighthouse a chance (I know a LOT of people like this movie. I’m not talking about them I’m talking about the people whose tastes are too pretentious for the pretentious people who list the fucking lighthouse as their favorites. One day they’re gonna release the Robert Pattinson erect penis cut whic is one reason. The second reason is that Willem Dafoe’s performance in this reinvigorated my arid withered body and soul like the tear of the goofy goober reinvigorated the dehydrated Patrick and Spongebob. But I’m a Rime of the Ancient Mariner gay so of course this is what I’m going to say but I’ve just revealed my hand as having sheeple taste so idk but this is a Dafoe based decision entirely plus it weeds out the whores and tax collectors who can’t handle a little B&W. Also this is outrageously long and I’m sorry BUT I’m trying to scare off the people who followed from my popular post you know.