#Also more than half the party is now under the age of 20 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fizzingwizard · 2 years ago

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Randomly visited reddit and saw this:

My first thought: it's an incel pretending to be a woman, because what modern woman thinks she's spoiled milk a 30??? (Aside from also trashing her girl friends - girl, get better friends!) But their profile doesn't seem weird in any way, so, I guess there are some people out there who really somehow believe youth ends at 29. Even some who have aged past it.

It's not even true that all 30 year olds are less beautiful than they were at 20. People age in different ways at at different rates: yeah, your likelihood of getting wrinkles and gray hairs is only ever going to go up. But some people don't have their style figured out in their twenties - some people turn thirty and freaking bloom. And you can't call that a late bloomer. 40 isn't a late bloomer either! 20 is nice but it's not the heaven on earth it's cracked up to be, and 30 is just getting started.

Idk about the rest of you but you know those posts about how embarrassing it is to look back on 14? Yeah, related to those when I was 20. Now I've passed the big 3-0, and guess what - I think 20 year old me was so silly lol. So insecure, so afraid to make mistakes, so resistant to change. I enjoyed my twenties, but my early thirties have so far been way better: I'm more confident, less self-involved, and I find happiness so much more easily than I did back when I thought everything I did had to matter So Damn Much. And if you think that doesn't relate to being attractive: confidence is 90% of it. Just walk up and smile. A confident, happy person always attracts others even if they're just average-looking.

Also for people who like men, don't forget: men in their 30s usually aren't quite the energizer bunnies they were in their 20s when it comes to ~sexy times~ The 20-year-old stud who insisted he could go for a roll multiple times a day, every day, is probably much less gung ho at 30. And also more forward-thinking, and less amaaaaazed by omg boobies!!! When you're young, half the excitement is just how new everything is. It gets less intense, thank goodness. (But it's still hot!)

This post just totally rubbed me the wrong way. It read as a still young woman anxiously wringing her hands in apology for having the audacity to be single at... 30?? And apparently not trusting women to have good advice about dating at 30 (so no point in me responding to her, lol), but perfectly comfortable kissing up to incel mindsets such as "women past 25 should accept that they're sloppy seconds" etc. "Value as a partner" do you have intrinsic worth as a human being?? Yes??? Then your value does NOT degrade. Yeah, you might have gray hair, the horror, so unsexy (I've had very visible grays since I was 23 and been dyeing since 26 lmao). Doesn't mean you're less hot than some 20 year old who doesn't know what she's doing. Doesn't mean it'll be at all hard to find a partner who will love you warts and all. Do you have this same expectation of men? Are you gonna start dating a 30 year old dude and then complain that he gets tired more quickly than a 20 year old would?? Is he less sexy just because he doesn't party all night and drink twice his weight without effect? Overrated overrated overrated!

My parents divorced in their 60s. My mom's got a new boyfriend who takes her dancing under the full moon. They're living their best lives way past their so-called "prime" and no, that is not rare - it's just a choice. If you view yourself as having some expiration date, you're not gonna do anything to improve your happiness once you're past it. Don't let incels or misogyny or whatever convince you your perfectly wholesome milk has gone bad, because that is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

ETA: Well, while I was working this got 150 notes, and although that's barely a drop in the bucket, it's still a lot more than my rants usually get (about 2 lol). So I just want to clarify a couple things so I stop getting comments about them.

This post was from the askmen subreddit. I left that out, feeling "reddit" was context enough, but I guess the implications may not have been obvious, especially to tumblr users who don't also use reddit. Askmen isn't a horrible place (a number of the responders pointed out why they prefer older women to younger ones), but many of its members have a pretty incel-adjacent vibe. Plus there are a number of women (real or not) who post there, many of whom have a similar brown-nosey "unlike those radical feminists, I'm a woman who knows her place" attitude.

It's fine to suggest the OP may have internalized misogyny from being abused - but it's not a given, as nothing in the post is a definite indication of abuse by itself. Big kudos for the compassion - just keep in mind that my response was about general attitudes towards dating post-twenties and not about abuse victims.

To the person who thinks a relationship of six years makes a difference somehow?: You seem to have interpreted my post as an attack on people who feel insecure about returning to dating after a breakup. But I think it's clearly nothing to do with that. Of course it is natural to have anxieties about being single after so long, but nowhere in this post was that denied or mocked. Whether you've been together one year or six, this post would always be weird - those natural anxieties don't make misogynistic mindsets about decrepit 30-year-old women any less gross. If you had decided to write a reaction to the OP's post, perhaps you would have chosen to center it on the effects of coming off a long term relationship, and I'm sure it'd be insightful. However, I am not you, and I chose to react to the attitudes around aging in relationships reflected in the post.

#rant

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hyewka · 2 years ago

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୨୧ things i plan to write, currently writing, and all other similar updates.

status: all wips listed under are on pause (08/3/2023)

๑ full fics.

— ★ camboy! [c.sb]

catching your innocent, sweet naïve best friend in a compromising position…in front of a camera is not how you thought you’d be celebrating his birthday.

warnings: sub soobin, femdom, anal play, nipple clamps, soobins a virgin, tears, degradation kink, centers around purity culture

progress: 30% [1.4k]

— ★ can i be your boyfriend? [c.bg]

you think after giving beomgyu the most emasculating, humiliating sex known to mankind, he’d know his place and leave you alone. to your dismay, it’s the complete opposite and now he seems to be ten times more obsessed with you than he already was. [part two to boyfriend]

warnings: bratty sub!beomgyu, soobin & reader have a thing, mentions of infidelity, pet play (barking, going on all fours, collar), degradation, mean femdom, praise kink, nipple play (m receiving), use of a flesh light, dacryphilia

progress: 65% [3.2k]

— ★ untitled [c.bg]

it's been a year since you've properly talked to beomgyu, distanced from him due to being in a relationship. now, you're single, broken up with your boyfriend a few weeks back and the realization dawns on you— you painfully, and utterly miss your best friend. striking up a conversation with him at a mutual friend's party in hopes of rekindling your relationship shouldn't have taken such a weird turn.

warnings: tipsy gyu (overall drunk sex), sub leaning switch!gyu, sloppy makeout, blowjob, angst, reader isn't usually dom and gyu isn't usually sub so there's that background info, pull out method, quickie

progress: 10% [0.7k]

— ★ love me p. 2 [c.bg]

progress: 3% [0.4k] — scrapped and restarted 😭

— ★ white t’s [c.bg]

stoner sub beomgyu. piercings. and a goody two shoes mc.

progress: 20% [1.1k]

— ★ possibility of a million (and its consequences) [c.bg]

unreasonable ego and a pain in the ass smartypants, mansplaining asshole is the only way to describe beomgyu from psych 101. you’re not too surprised he’s a prude and also the most virgin-virgin you’ve had the (dis)pleasure of meeting. but like how all beginnings begin, one drunken night and you find yourself in a bed with the person you truly cannot stand for more than thirty unsupervised minutes— and holy fuck does the events from last night hit you like a brick with a dooming realization. you took the virginity of choi beomgyu.

progress: 87% (4.6k)

— ★ night after night (ibfyr) [c.bg]

the number one rule of having a hot roommate is to not fuck them— and well, you’ve broken that rule more than you could count (high libido call for desperate measures). but at least none of you have feelings, and don’t have to go through the mess that is dating the person who shares the same lease as you. too bad a confession during a fuck flips everything on its back. just give him seven days and beomgyu swears he can convince you to give dating (him) a try.

warnings: soft dom gyu

progress: N/A

— ★ younger, hotter [k.th]

you’re convinced that the new (younger, more efficient, more charismatic) hire at your division is there as your replacement due to the numerous layoffs your company has been officiating. it takes one wrong misguided initial impression to conclude that kang taehyun might just be the first person you’ve ever considered a mortal enemy.

warnings: sub!tyun who usually doms, noona kink, semi public…sort of (sex in a public bathroom’s stall), fingering (f receiving), desperate simp tyun for pussy bcs yes, unsafe sex, pullout method, just the tip trope, mc’s a complete bitch unprovoked, heavy degradation kink, use of ‘boss’ during sex, specific age difference not mentioned

progress: 15% (1.2k)

★ number of fics: 8

๑ series.

— ★ intro to love 101 [c.bg + c.yj]

you don’t believe in the concept of love. someone you consider your other half is the complete opposite. beomgyu falls in love every other week, and god does he love hard. with that comes a million heartbreaks, boxes of tissues, and your hoodies drenched with his tears and gross snot. you cannot bear to see your best friend hurt again so, you do the genius thing and create a step by step guideline on how to not fall in love the minute he's provided with attention. it should be easy, you are his best friend and practically the number one pessimist when it comes to romance. all he has to do is strictly follow through.

parts: five

— ★ to stardom [ot5]

managing your fuck buddy’s band and all its complications.

parts: six

๑ drabbles. (includes asks)

— ★ perv gym rat taehyun

— ★ spitroasting with soobin and kai

— ★ yandere bsf!yeonjun

— ★ beomgyu first time (anal play)

— ★ switch hybrid yeonjun

— ★ freshman!taehyun x junior TA!reader

— ★ sub taehyun

— ★ childhood friend sub!hyuka

— ★ expansion on perv!beomgyu + perv!soobin

— ★ beomjun threesome (might be a full fic)

— ★ sub! yeonjun + oral fixation

— ★ enemies to ??? w/ secret femboy!yeonjun (might be full fic)

— ★ best friend taehyun with virgin reader (might be full fic)

— ★ phone sex w/ beomgyu

#rana’s wips #i take ages to write a response to one ask so please be patient with me 😞#and if you dont recognize your ask under the drabble list thats because i havent gotten to it yet #these are the main things ill be focusing on checking off😭😭

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rjthirsty · 3 months ago

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Rhodolite, Monogamy, & Polyamory

If you've played Ikemen Prince, you're aware that there are 8 half-brothers under one former king, all born within a 12-ish year timespan. That's a lot of women to be boinking and impregnating. And while it's totally feasible (cue the guy that had 36 kids from multiple women within 20 years or some wild shit), it brought into question what Rhodolite's marriage and relationship status quo was.

The former king only had one queen, Chevalier's mother. But judging from the estimated ages of all the guys, she was still alive when Leon was born, and his mother was also a noble woman. And considering the time that Leon's mother was still around when Yves was born, that would leave two sets of two noble women both married to the king, with children, at the same time period. Leon states in his route that the king had "other wives and other children" which meant that while not formally accepted or ascended to the throne, they were still his "wife" and not mistress. Meaning we can conclude that the king had multiple marriages whether for political reasons or personal, not all the mothers were mistresses. This really only applies to the mothers that were noble in some way, because Clavis' and Luke's mothers were not involved with the king except for conception, and we know Jin's mother was married to the king. Licht and Nokto's mother is a little bit of a mystery, and while I have guesses, I'm not going to make a call on that at the moment.

Now, this could be summed up as a translation issue since English and Japanese have different ideas for words that mean similar things. Maybe the women were "lovers" or concubines of some sort; the king would have a harem of women to produce sons, and all would be elevated to the royal court in some fashion, but only one was crowned queen. This is entirely possible. The problem is that in English when we try to label what sort of position this is, it comes with many negative connotations such as "mistresses" being secret lovers with no status, or concubines being considered sex and pleasure objects with no regard to the person, just the symbol. So we don't have an easy, equal alternative to label a woman that sits in a position of authority but is not a "wife". This is honestly a failing on English more than anything, imo. The way women were considered property for so long is seen in the terms we have for them.

But enough with all that depressing talk, let's get on to the REALLY interesting thing. Monogamy NOT being the norm.

It is never explicitly stated that monogamy is expected or even normal in Rhodolite. I admit, when I was reading the story for the first time, and even nearly two years into the game, I had been coming at it with the perspective that monogamy was normal and expected, because just like heteronormativity, monogamy is considered the "normal" thing and thus never questioned. But this is literally never brought up in the game.

I thought the game was just very sex positive in the way everyone's sleeping with everyone else. I thought they were depicting nobility as having sex parties because that's just what they did. (I don't know, I hated history and don't look into it. Tell me that drunken orgies were the norm and I'd say okay!) The way that Belle and one of the dudes would end up in sexy times sometimes outside of an actual relationship was refreshing and while it still came with the "I can only fuck people I love" from Belle's perspective, I thought it was still nice for it to not be a wait until marriage or forever after.

But what if it wasn't sex positivity? What if it's just not a big fucking deal to sleep with people because monogamy isn't the status quo? The only time monogamy comes up is treated more like exclusivity. It's hot because it's possessive-lite, but it isn't "we're a couple, you can't sleep with others", it's "I'm the only one that gets to see this" which means that it isn't a rule so much as a desire and possessiveness that needs to be stated. And that's kinda cool, when you think about it. In the way it is being presented, there doesn't seem to be a negative relationship with sex outside of a committed relationship. I'm all for that.

Monogamy is cool for those it works for. But open relationships, poly relationships, and anything else out there is also cool for those it works for. And it's just nice to see that being (silently) established as normal without having to make reasons or excuses for it. Even combing through all the event stories I can recall, I don't think there's one time that someone said, "I'm married, so I'm not interested in sex." And while that is easy to overlook because monogamy is expected in our (US) society, the absence of it is something to note, and could lead to monogamy not being expected.

In conclusion, I've decided that all relationships are valid in Rhodolite, and while other countries might not have the same freedom, I'm going to put it into my fanfics and headcanon for my country of many princes.

#ikepri headcanons #ikemen prince #rjthirsty characters #ikepri #rhodolite #relationship

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hermesgoestojuvie · 1 year ago

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do you have any permes hcs or fic ideas?

oh anon u have no idea what you've unleashed. the permes fic ideas are all i have some days, alas, im not that accomplished at the whole idea to words transition as i wish i was. i'll go into a few more concrete ones under the read more

Quick note: So like. All the things I plan to write happen when he’s 18+. and there's no sibling or parent incest. (bringing that up cause i got an. interesting dm once.) So this is just a quick disclaimer of sorts. And I’m not hating on anyone who wants to write or read something dark! I mean for instance I have a time travel Percy/Hermes brainworm that is considered dark and probably not what a lot of people want to read, so i'll tag it as such.

The One Where There is a War

Explained a little more in detail here but I have no problem talking a little about it again. It was inspired by this one perpollo fic that I'm still looking for so I can link it, bc trust me, it is GOOD. (edit: FOUND IT!!!! HERE it’s by @ghost-bxrd)The premise of that fic was a war between the gods and demigods, and my fic is meant to draw from that as well as some elements from Lore by Alexandra Bracken. It takes place post-second Giant war, but I'm toying with the idea of having the war and all related events, like gaea's rising, happen when percy is maybe 19-20? I'm not sure yet though. I might keep the timeline as is instead. For now, just know that it is post-second giant war.

Anyways, the premise is the new war the demigods have waged on the gods, when Percy, already a conflicted party to the war, comes across an injured Hermes when he is separated from his group of scouts.

2. Warning: Untitled For Now But It Is The Dark!Hermes One

you ever read child surprise by aphroditesfavorite or the breezeblocks series by violetmoreviolent?

Both are perpollo, and while I've not caught up to child surprise (i'm two chapters in, its been in my marked for later for a while, and ive had the tab open for ages, i just keep getting distracted lol) i know that it does deal with a time-travel trope, with percy, post-second giant and titan wars, waking up in the past, the day athena and poseidon compete over athens.

from what i hear, where child surprise is perpollo, there is a dark, forcecful hermes scene, which is absolutely not meant to be shippy btw! i heard from a friend who has gotten farther than me that the aphroditesfavorite has also stated that the shippy comments received about that hermes scene has made them uncomfortable so like, dont go reading it for that guys please.

breezeblocks meanwhile has a take on dark!apollo, a more ancient apollo, in a way. an apollo that you remember IS an olympian and all that may entail. i actually have caught up with the latest updates, and it takes place in the present. i dont want to go spoiling, but I will say that like, the way its all unraveling and unfolding is just so interesting, im high key invested.

@ashilrak and @mrthology have also written an absolutely heartbreaking, gutwrenching, exceptionally glorious banger of a fic, HAUNT ME, THEN- that also really captures the otherness and ancient, almost older, aspect of the olympians.

anyways, the reason i bring these fics up is because i just really love the idea that percy was born from the sea, while also acknowledging that one of my favorite parts of the whole book series in the first place is percy's connection to mortality and to his mother. reading child surprise really was root of a lot of ideas of percy emerging from the saltwater fountain in athens at the time of poseidon and athena's competition, with the idea that the trip to the past coincides with unwanted percy's ascension. it is not the birth of percy jackson the demigod, but in half, percy jackson the deity (the other half near coming to fruition in tartarus before he forced himself to stop.)

all that^ was just a very long way to say, this fic, im not sure WHAT it is yet, or where the direction its going in is, but we have established permes in the modern era, the time slipping happens when percy is struggling with keeping his impending ascension at bay, and then percy deals with a hermes at his like. prime? if thats the word. having to reconcile that with the softer versions they know later.

3. The One I've Been Struggling With

i'm just gonna copy/paste some stuff from my outline, like just the first two pages. this is the most concrete fic wip i have lmao. its all very rambly bc thats how the process goes for me so sorry abt that! anyways, starts below:-

an au that is not modern times, but perhaps in the past? Ancient Greek times? So more “ancient greek minded hermes.” Or if you think there is a better alternative, that would work too, I’m all ears. Trickster god Hermes (which he is) and minor immortal(?) Percy.

i dont know what percy's situation is yet. need to figure that out

i was looking at a comic and thought, trickster god Hermes would definitely pull something like this on Percy. And then I thought, what if, trickster god Hermes, sees this one man (Percy) and falls in love with him. But this man seems to pine for a woman who doesn’t love him back, and so Hermes takes her shape. (I don’t know who this woman would be. Annabeth? It could be her, but I also love the bond Percy and Annabath have in general, she and him are incredible friends. Rachel? I loved her friendship with Percy too.)

Anyways, Hermes taking their shape made me laugh a bit because wow Percy is getting catfished by a god. And then I was like WHAT IF- Percy himself is a minor immortal like. A young nymph-ish type. A prince of Atlantis? A demigod turned prince of Atlantis? I am not sure what he is, but, I am going to use nymph as a placeholder until I figure this out.

So sure, Percy is immortal, newly or otherwise, but he’s young and still not fully like, aware (I don’t know if that's the right word) about what it means to be immortal because he literally was born 20 years ago, which is normal mortal young man age. And Percy is like, “I’m as old as them and I want to live as them. I was them.”

His father is protective of course, he is aware of the way of the gods and how they chase pretty people. Poseidon warned him about gods, how they come and go, how he should never fall for one because loving one usually ends in tragedy or heartbreak- that to them hearts are easily won by tricks and discarded as easily. (Thinking again: mortal Percy turned immortal by marrying/mating with Hermes? Except, then I thought, Poseidon wants Percy to be immortal–if he thought Hermes showing interest and Percy reciprocating would allow for Percy to choose to be immortal he would probably begrudgingly allow it. So then….immortal Percy? Need to think)

The big Hermes reveal is when Percy is attacked or injured, or some other god shows up, and Hermes saves him but reveals his true form in the process.

BACK TO THE PLOT!!!

Hermes was like, I will have this nymph, and that is FINAL. And Percy is kind even though he is not necessarily always NICE, (it may be ancient greek but new yorker percy is timeless) he's sweet and cares so much. he’s a hero and so loyal. he's brave and mischievous and genuinely good, and Hermes is just. Blown away, by the way Percy loves, so deep and it consumes you, to be the one Percy cares for, Hermes thinks there is no feeling like it.

Hermes tells himself that Percy can't possibly be deserving of mortal love. So what if golden haired Annabeth (placeholder for now, still dont know if we're going the annabeth route?) is a warrior who can run like the deer and loves the very woods Percy does. No, he needs a god's adoration, a force to be reckoned with at his beck and call to fulfill his every whim the way Percy himself makes others feel. If people would be loved the way Percy loves, everyone would be a god.

I am laughing at Hermes taking the shape of Annabeth while talking to Percy, but also using the moment to talk up Hermes. Like if Percy is in his starry eyed about Annabeth phase, Annabeth wanting to have a sit down would be so exciting for him, and Hermes as Annabeth would be petty enough to be like lemme proselytize about myself, “have you heard of the great wonderful god Hermes?”

Percy being like, “Yeah my dad tells me every day, stay away from these people and then gives me a list of gods, why?”

Hermes immediately pissy

Percy is still talking, “so yeah Hermes is on the list too- why, Annabeth? Did something happen? you look...not well. Are you sick?”

Hermes, through gritted teeth, “with all due respect to... your father, I think you should hear about the god Hermes because he's not... whatever it is your dad said.”

Percy: Well, apparently the god Hermes fixates on pretty people and tries to get into their pants using trickery.

Hermes as Annabeth: CHOKES

Hermes-Annabeth: THAT IS SUCH SLANDER. I have never.... ahem, i have never heard of that about the god Hermes

^That was the first two pages. there's 11 more of me realizing writing is hard and i have commitment issues. but hopefully i finish at some point bc this is the fic ive poured some serious time in!

anyways, that was the three main fic ideas ive been tackling. i have had more that i immediately forget about, but just know, i can think about them all day!

#hermes #hermes pjo #percy jackson #permes #hermes x percy jackson #percy x hermes #percy jackson pjo #answered asks

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arbitrarygreay · 8 months ago

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Biddy Math

When a Biddy nears death and eventually dies, Alder takes those years back. (There is no sign in 1x3, 1x10, 2x1, or 2x8 that this strain is redistributed to the other Biddies when one of their own is injured or dies. They only take on stress that is directly inflicted upon Alder.)

Therefore, the bare minimum requirement for the Biddy program is that if one Biddy dies, Alder will not die just by taking on those years. Assuming an equal sharing of Alder's life force (not necessarily a safe one to make, given that the Marshal's setup is so different), then this means that Alder doubles her physical years when a Biddy dies. Therefore, the number of biddies is defined by what is half of life expectancy, plus some number of buffer years so that Alder isn't on death's door just from losing one Biddy.

Delicious numbers, analysis, and graphs under the cut. Click through to see exactly which years Alder probably increased the number of Biddies over time! Now with bonus "how much is Alder drinking" potshots!

To decide some things, we can bypass life expectancy at younger ages, because those numbers are the product of mortality rates, which include causes of death other than old age. Because in the Biddy process, people proceed directly to old age, we can look at life expectancy for people who already survived to that old age.

x = Alder's total age n = Total number of people sharing life force (number of biddies plus 1 for Alder herself) Alder's physical age = A = x/n L = life expectancy (most probable age of death) s = safety buffer L-s = Age at which a person is expected to still live for another s years L-s = The age Alder will become if a Biddy dies = 2A = 2x/n

For Life Expectancy numbers, I looked at the Human Mortality Database. Here is the full citation:

HMD. Human Mortality Database. Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research (Germany), University of California, Berkeley (USA), and French Institute for Demographic Studies (France). Available at www.mortality.org. See also the methods protocol: Wilmoth, J. R., Andreev, K., Jdanov, D., Glei, D. A., Riffe, T., Boe, C., Bubenheim, M., Philipov, D., Shkolnikov, V., Vachon, P., Winant, C., & Barbieri, M. (2021). Methods protocol for the human mortality database (v6). Available online (needs log in to mortality.org).

For most all of the datasets I looked at, "Expected to live 5 more years" correlated to a ~10% mortality rate (that 1 in 10 people of that age died that year). So a 5 year safety buffer seems reasonable.

So, for example, I look at the US females dataset. I go to 2019 (the year the show started, and also to avoid the influence of the pandemic). In the dataset, the age at which they are expected to live 5 more years is 89. This is our (L-s) term. So, the physical age that Alder is safe to be at in 2019 is at most 89/2 = 44.5. (Lyne was 40 in 2019.)

If we assume that Alder was 18 years old when she signed the Salem Accords in 1692 (in order to codify conscription age to match hers), then in 2019 she is 345 years old. When we divide 345 by 44.5, to see how many total parties need to share those years equally, we get 7.625, which rounds up to 8. And well well well, that makes for Alder and 7 Biddies. Eliot did his math!

Something Eliot didn't quite do his math on, though, is his claim in After the Storm 1x3 that Biddies only tend to last 5-6 years. In 2019, Tally (somewhere between 18 and 19 years old) picking up 44.5 years upon getting Biddy'd means that she was physically…somewhere around 63 years old! In the US, 63 year ladies could expect to live another 23 years, to age 86! In order to get back down to the "less than 6 years to live as a Biddy" range, we would have to assume that the stress of military combat and also Alder's alcoholic liver would lop off another 17 years from their natural life expectancy. No I am not going to research how muchFine, let's find out how much Alder is drinking in order to destroy 20 year old candidates in 5-6 years.

Found an online calculator that cites this study:

Westman J, Wahlbeck K, Laursen TM, Gissler M, Nordentoft M, Hällgren J, Arffman M, Ösby U. Mortality and life expectancy of people with alcohol use disorder in Denmark, Finland and Sweden.; Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica; April 2015

For a person to start drinking at age 63 and shorten their lifespan from 86 to 69 years, Alder is pounding at least 9 doses a day (but that would also only be enough to kill one Biddy! do we need to multiply that by seven...). Per NIAAA, a dose is 0.6 ounces of pure alcohol, which averages 5 ounces of wine and um only 1.5 ounces (a shot glass) or less of liquors like whiskey.

Alder famously ends up downing both of these glasses in this scene.

Sarah. Sarah. How many fucking doses is that, Sarah!? ("the height of two fingers against a regular sized glass is about 2 fl oz", so these glasses are probably "neat" pours, and she took 4 ounces in the Petra scene, and 2 ounces above. But we also know from Tally that "she loves her wine" and probably has it daily during at least breakfast with Anacostia, if not also at all other scheduled meals.)

...Okay, crack tangent over. Biddy candidate age speculation! Well, we started this whole thing with the assumption that when Alder takes back her years from a Biddy, she basically becomes Biddy age, with 5 years ahead of her (matching the expected years of service that Eliot quoted, eh). Which means that, really, Biddy candidates following that pattern should just be Alder's physical age? Whomst 44 year old Biddy candidates lmao. And even if we include that extra 10 year buffer for Alder's alcoholic liver combat stress, the standard Biddy candidate (looking forward to only 5-6 years of service) would just be whatever is 10 years younger than Alder's physical age. In 2019 that would be at most 34 years old, not anything near conscript age.

Here's another analysis angle, because why not: If we assume that Alder is actually frozen in time and only the Biddies are ageing for her, then 7 biddies are ageing 1.143 years for every year. So they need to actually have 6 years left in them to live 5 years of real time. With that conservative 5 year estimate, the Biddy that died in 1x3 (in 2019) became a Biddy around 2014.

Going back to our mortality tables, in 2014, the age at which a US woman would have 6 years left is 87. If we just lop those 10 years of stress, 77. The age at which they would have 16 years left is 71, which demonstrates how causes of death not of old age like alcoholism come into play a lot more the younger we look. Or there's also a survival bias at play. But it would be real awkward if someone had a genetic/health issue where they would naturally die in their late 60s/early 70s, so they keeled over right after getting Biddy'd. I'm sure the candidate screening process is mostly about avoiding that. Still, in 2014 less than 2% of 71 year olds died, so.

Working backwards to lop off the 44.5 years of Alder's life they're carrying, then the recruitment candidates for that Biddy could have been anywhere from 26-31 years old (with the 10 extra stress years). If we don't, then back to the 40-47 year old range. So yes, Anacostia could have maybe been a viable Biddy candidate, at least on age alone?

The way these are all probabilities means that the stars might align to maximize the longer lifespan of an individual against the age at which they were recruited. If they were playing it real safe and going younger, then a Biddy could serve for 10 years before succumbing to old age. See again how Tally could have had multiple decades ahead of her as a Biddy. That doesn't seem to be the norm, if Eliot is saying that 5-6 is the expectation, but maybe Biddy lifespan increased over the years as life expectancy for the elderly rose.

Here's where it gets…tricky. The Human Mortality Database is very fastidious with their data, and it turns out that most nations didn't keep/take very good records before 1950. The US data set doesn't begin until 1933, which means that I need to look elsewhere for the 200 years before that. The UK and Scotland are obvious choices, given the surname Alder. UK data begins in 1922 when they began merging the various realms of the Isles, which is why the Scotland data actually ends in 1930, when it got folded in. After that, it was mostly finding any European data at all that exists before the 1920s. I picked England+Wales and France, as both made it into the mid-1800s. And finally, the earliest dataset HMD has is Sweden, which somehow went back to 1751. As with the US dataset, I grabbed the oldest age for every year at which the remaining life expectancy was at least 5 years.

This is where I ran into some issues. You can see in the graph above that the Scotland, England, and Sweden data all show a rise in the life expectancy 60 years before the US, France, and the UK do. This is likely due to sampling bias in the older data, but I still have to decide what to do for this analysis. From the graph, you can see that I just averaged the England and France data to split the difference, and it looks like a plausible trend to the US data. Besides, the amplitude of the difference is only a 5-10 year spread, which gets divided out to a couple of years difference per Biddy, which is then well within natural spreads of lifespan. When I perform the calculations to get Alder's physical age from these estimations, it remains quite stable between the 40-45 range.

At any rate, I strongly suspect that Eliot may have looked at the same datasets as I did, because the earliest data point is, as said before, Sweden in 1751. In 1751, Alder would be 77 years old. And what is the life expectancy with a 5 year buffer for 1751? 77.

It's hard to imagine that Alder would have let herself become 77 years old as an active combatant, particularly as we know she looked like her 40-something self crossing the Delaware and when she created the Mycelium after pushing the British back, which according to 1x8, took place around 1735, when she would have been 61. If she had just one Biddy that year, with an even life force split she would have been physically 30.5.

If we go back to that Sweden dataset, the calculated death age for people between 18 and 40 is fairly stable between 60-65 until the 1800s, is that way in France until the late 1800s, and those numbers are likely a lot lower in a much less established region like the Americas. Alder herself would have seen that in the people around her, so it would make sense for her to take on the Biddy program fairly in advance of that. I wouldn't be surprised if she set up contingencies in her 40s, in her 50s at the latest.

(An alternative theory, given the wonkiness of some lore claiming that the Biddy working was shared in exchanged for the Cession in the 1830s when Alder was already over 130 years old, is that Alder used other means to prolong her life before getting Biddies, such as whatever made her be linked to Fort Salem's fauna and flora, not to mention the fact that when she lost all of her Biddies she turned to wood, not dust. Those seem to be separate workings from the Biddy program, and given that alder trees typically live between 60 to 80 years, some reaching 100 years, then the need to switch over to Biddies around then makes sense.)

But finally, what you're all actually here for: a graph of Alder's physical age and when she would have to increase the number of Biddies over time, as influenced by changing elderly life expectancy over time. (Note that if she indeed did not get Biddies until the 1830s, then she went from zero to 4 Biddies at once.)

#motherland fort salem #sarah alder #ag is a neeeeeeeerd #category: tv

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whump-on-a-string · 1 year ago

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Okay so Dallan. What’s his story so far? What’s his personality like? What are his interests?

I'll start with his story. It's just a bunch of vague events strung together though as I'm bad at writing or coming up with ideas. I just draw. :') Dallan is an OC from when I was a silly little minor in school randomly RPing stuff with my friend on pet website forums and PMs, so it's based on very old content and may be revised more in the future, but here are the main bits that are still relevant to the character's background.

When I made him, he was around my own age. But he is in his 20s now. Dallan is a very polite and proper man but also kind of a pushover. If someone were to steal an old lady's purse he'd go right after the thief and want to make it right and call it out. But if he's at his home/work he might hold back and not say anything as to not cause a disturbance to others. Chances are if he'd get yelled at or reprimanded by his higher ups he'll try and not say anything unless it's a pretty bad situation. He doesn't want to get fired. But some things might be worth getting fired for. He has a hard time speaking up for himself since his general job was to "speak only when spoken to" and basically be a ghost helping the house function. The occasional bullying from other staff didn't help him with his confidence much either. Physical and verbal abuse from his earlier childhood and household staff sort of manifested as a fawn/freeze response for him when he was young. It's much better now that he's older, grew taller and he has more of a spine. But he still has his moments now and again.

Who Dallan works for depends on the setting since he was intended for use in RP. But by default he usually works for Mr. Richard and/or Alexander Parish. Richard is a wealthy man, and Parish is the Doctor who tended to Mr. Richard's late wife. They're both close friends now. (I have more info on the two of them under the read more break.)

The only notable co-worker so far in Dallan's case is Alice. She's been employed by Richard and his family the longest, for 2 decades at least. She was only intended to be a side character, set dressing, but ended up becoming a bit of an antagonist to Dallan, and a threat to a guest who was recovering in Richard's home after an unfortunate stabbing event happened on the front lawn. (I think it was a hate crime against elves but the rp was so long ago I can't remember.) She's more of a fight/flee type in contrast to Dallan's fawn/freeze. Her childhood was also probably quite rough, resulting in a narcissistic personality as a means of defense. The death of Mrs. Richard was also very hard on her.

Dallan was completely illiterate when he was hired around the age of 11-12 much to Alice's dismay.

Another important part of Dallan's story was a character called "Wolf" who I misremembered as a half-elf. He was my friend's character, who carried and progressed most of the plot. Wolf arrived at Mr. Richard's home upon receiving a letter from his schoolyard friend Parish, to be introduced to Richard, and have a pleasant time at one of Richard's dinner parties. (Or he just happened to be in the area. I can't remember.) But Wolf had enemies, or was the victim of an anti-elf or half-elf hate crime and was promptly stabbed on Mr. Richard's front lawn, extending his stay at the man's house for a while. He and Dallan became good friends, and was also a sort of mentor to Dallan. Dallan also received a leg injury, but the reason/time/place is not set in stone given the nebulous connection to someone else's OC. It just matters that has or will-have a bullet injury to one of his legs. It's just an event that is canon to his character now.

Wolf gave Dallan a silver pocketwatch that's worth more than all of his belongings combined. It was a bit of a teasing gift, as Dallan had been late on several occasions while Wolf was visiting Richard's home. Now he had a watch to help him keep track of the time to stop being late. ...Hopefully. It's a key item and important to him. That said, the one who gave it to him may change or be elaborated upon more in the future. All that matters is that he was given a generous gift of a very nice pocket watch which he carries everywhere, and he values it very much. Do not separate. You will upset him.

His Employers, Workday, & Hobbies

Mr. Richard is pretty strict and stern, but he has a good heart and cares about all of his staff. Richard lives in a small mansion. It doesn't have ALL of the staff a greathouse usually would because his property is small and doesn't need as much upkeep as a larger one. He has no children, and his wife passed away so it's just him and his staff. He's a social butterfly though so he hosts dinners and parties frequently, as being home alone isn't his favorite thing to do. Any friend of Richard will regularly get invites delivered by mail. One of his close friends is an elf named Alexander Parish, who is a doctor. They met while he was helping care for the health of Richard's late wife and they all became very good friends. Parish still visits Richard regularly for personal reasons instead of just for business. Most of Dallan's daily activities consist of cleaning, trash collecting, window washing, polishing cutlery, blacking boots, etc. So most of the duties from the "lowest rank" almost to the "highest rank" but he does not help with finances or , For Richard's parties he's responsible for holding doors, taking coats, and if needed: help the scullery maids serve food and drink,

Alexander Parish is your local friendly (albeit expensive) doctor. He also performs some surgeries, and uses his own magical skills to help clients heal better. His magic can't mend bones or reverse inflicted wounds but it can speed up the healing process or help fight off infection, but it all depends on the severity and his energy at the time. It's a small extra tool and not a replacement of proper medical care. Dallan works for Parish permanently only in the event of Richard's death, otherwise he only works for the doctor upon his master's instruction to do so. (Which is somewhat frequent.)

Workday:

Most of Dallan's daily activities consist of cleaning, trash collecting, window washing, polishing cutlery, blacking boots, etc. So most of the duties from the "lowest rank" almost to the "highest rank" for servants since it's very small staff but also a small property. He does not help with finances or anything involving numbers and letters as he's terrible at reading & writing because he's rather uneducated. He can read now, just not very well and his handwriting is chickenscratch. For Richard's parties he's responsible for holding doors, taking coats, and if needed he helps the scullery maids serve food and drink. The wages aren't too bad & he doesn't have to pay for food or his room so he's pretty content with the setup. Other than that he'll do chores for the day and then turn in for the night.

Hobbies:

Any hobbies he has are pretty unknown since he usually is just working for most of the day, but he really likes to sit back with something warm to drink and relax in the garden, or go visit the beach on rare little vacations on the weekend. He'd probably be interested in picking up some kind of arts & crafts if he had the time for it though. He really likes dogs though so he also would enjoy walking around the neighborhood hoping to encounter someone walking their pet so he could pet them and give them little treats (with the owners permission of course). Horses also interest but terrify him. Dallans favorite work-related hobby would just be getting sent out of the house to run errands so he can enjoy the trip.

His only known fears are "monsters" and drowning/suffocating. He'll probably pass out once he learns that vampires and werewolves are REAL in his world. And he sticks to shallow water at the beach.

Yeah that's all I've got for now. Thanks for making me finally get all of this out of my head lol.

#Dallan #OC #Original #Text #Ask

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cosmicanger · 2 years ago

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You almost never hear about the yellow fever outbreak of 1793. Wealthy slave owners brought it to Philadelphia that year, fleeing revolutions in the Caribbean. During its peak, a hundred people were dying every day. Back then Philadelphia was a city of 50,000 people. The city government collapsed under the pressure, and almost everyone evacuated. Doctors thought it was spread by rotting vegetables. They were wrong. It didn’t end until a cold front came through in October, killing off carrier mosquitoes. The death toll settled to 20 or so a day, and people began to return. In the end, the epidemic killed more than 5,000 people.

It was 10 percent of their population.

You hear this a lot: Apparently humans have lived with germs and diseases for millions of years. There’s no need for masks or vaccines. Nobody needs clean air. Natural immunity works just fine.

It’s wrong.

It couldn’t be more wrong.

We’ve never been able to live with diseases, not like we do now. Most westerners have no idea. Before medicine, life looked different.

You couldn’t even drink the water.

As an article in Scientific American points out, “water was unsafe to drink for most of human history.” According to Paul Lukacs, humans had to drink wine. It wasn’t fun, either. Ancient texts describe wine as “wretched, horrible, vinegary, foul.” The only thing worse was plain water. You often had no idea if it was safe to drink. For thousands of years, humans opted for beer and wine instead. There was just enough alcohol to kill germs. Even coffee had antiviral and bacterial properties, so it became a preferred beverage in other parts of the world.

When Jesus turned water into wine, he wasn’t throwing a party.

He was killing germs.

Scientists and historians from all disciplines agree on this point: For most of our history, our lives were short. Average life expectancy remained well below 50 for millennia. We didn’t get eaten by tigers.

We got eaten by plagues.

When you look at the last 2,000 years across the world, you see the same thing. About half of all children died before reaching adulthood. Scientists confirm this trend all the way back to the stone age. As Oxford scholar Max Roser says, “Whether in Ancient Rome, in hunter-gatherer societies, in the pre-Columbian Americas, in Medieval Japan or Medieval England, in the European Renaissance, or in Imperial China, every second child died.”

Epidemics have upended countless civilizations, from Rome to the Akkadian Empire. These societies didn’t just live with it. Death and grief played a central role in their cultures, because it happened all the time. It was a different world that most people today can’t wrap their heads around.

They didn’t shrug it off.

They chased answers.

History is full of doctors and scientists who devoted their entire lives trying to treat and cure diseases that plagued us. It’s also full of quacks and charlatans who made fortunes by selling fake miracle cures. There’s a reason why historical novels and movies feature apothecaries and snake oil salesmen. Almost everyone was sick or scared of getting sick and dying.

They got desperate.

Doctors even tried bleeding their patients. Women often bore several children to offset the astonishing infant mortality rate. Despite that, global population growth remained close to zero.

It was flat.

Politicians and billionaires complain about declining birthrates now. Well, that was the norm before modern medicine.

Societies didn’t grow.

They treaded.

Historians say we’re probably underestimating child mortality. During certain periods, it was higher than 50 percent. Every few years, an outbreak of disease drove infant deaths upward to 75 percent.

During the 18th century, big cities like London actually shrank due to awful sanitation and living conditions. More people died in a given year than were born. They relied on a steady stream of gullible migrants from the countryside. Raw sewage frequently contaminated the drinking water. Garbage rotted in the streets. Rats and fleas nested practically everywhere, even in rich homes. Graveyards overflowed. The city buried their excess dead in “poor holes” next to homes and businesses. If you lived anywhere near a cemetery, decaying corpses could leach into your wellwater and poison you. Nobody really understood how disease spread. Doctors operated with dirty surgical instruments and unwashed hands.

These conditions persisted through the 19th century.

In the 1830s, a series of especially bad outbreaks of cholera, flu, and typhoid ravaged London. Social activists and public health experts pushed for sanitation. The city finally started listening in the late 1840s. They passed laws and formed a board of public health. Even then, it took several more outbreaks to motivate investment in a modern sewer system. Politicians waited until the stench of human waste became unbearable in every corner of the city.

The 19th century was a brutal time.

As city populations grew, diseases flourished and wiped out millions of people. Most of them died in agony, without medicine or painkillers, literally puking themselves to death. The world spent decades fighting endless pandemics. Mortality rates for a disease like cholera ranged between 3 and 10 percent. At any given moment, there were three or four major killers circulating.

Before modern medicine, there was a good chance you’d die from plague, cholera, smallpox, typhoid, malaria, polio, flu, tuberculosis, or scarlet fever. Every single one of these diseases terrified people. Without treatment, you might as well flip a coin as to whether you’d live, die, or wind up with lifelong illness. In many places, life expectancy hovered around 40.

Diseases have always hit the poor worse than everyone else. Throughout history, the rich have invested in sanitation for themselves first while leaving everyone else behind and blaming them for their own deaths. According to an article in Science, “the mortality rate from infectious diseases among nonwhite people living in the U.S. was a shocking 1,123 deaths per 100,000 people.” That’s more than the death rate for white people during 1918 flu pandemic. As one sociologist says, it was like living through the 1918 flu, every year.

The last 100 years changed everything.

We’ve developed vaccines and treatments. We’ve learned how diseases spread. We’ve educated the public on sanitation. We’ve done it despite resistance from a vocal minority who thought it wasn’t necessary or couldn’t be done. They wanted us to keep watching half our children die every year.

We made major progress.

Now we’re backsliding.

Life expectancy is falling. Infant mortality is rising. Vaccine skepticism grows by the year, egged on by sociopaths in politics and media who think they’re practicing their free speech. We face crucial shortages of antibiotics and other drugs, with predictions we’ll run out later this year. Healthcare workers are quitting. ER departments are closing over staffing shortages. Everywhere you look, the healthcare systems we spent generations building are falling apart.

That’s not fear talking.

As history shows, we’ve been here before. We’ve seen life without vaccines and masks. We’ve seen life without clean air and drinkable water. That’s how humans lived for 95 percent of our existence.

We hated it.

Humans invested in public health and sanitation because they got tired of dying from diseases. They dragged their leaders kicking and screaming into public health, after it became painfully clear there was no alternative.

Well, here we are again. It would be nice if we could pay attention to history instead of constantly repeating it.

We don’t have to speculate about what our dystopian future looks like. It’s a return to the 18th and 19th centuries when life expectancy hovered in the mid 40s and deadly outbreaks of diseases shut down entire cities and civilizations. The only difference is that many of us will remember a brighter past.

A massive reinvestment in public health would stop this, but it can’t be just for rich people. It has to be for everyone.

We’ll see.

#article #long read

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newstfionline · 7 months ago

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Sunday, July 28, 2024

Canadians have tired of Justin Trudeau (Washington Post) Prime Minister Justin Trudeau rose to power in 2015—and rescued the Liberal Party from irrelevance—on promises to bring “real change” and infuse Canadian politics with “sunny ways.” Nearly nine years later, the forecast for the progressive icon is cloudy. His party, which has been slumping in the polls for more than a year, now trails the Conservatives by as many as 20 points and is vulnerable not only in key battlegrounds but also in traditional strongholds. In a much lower-key version of Democratic pressure on President Biden to drop out of the U.S. presidential race, several high-profile Liberals, including his former environment minister Catherine McKenna and Christy Clark, a Liberal former premier of British Columbia, have called on him to step aside to give the party a better chance of staying in government. Trudeau’s woes echo those of many incumbent leaders, who are struggling amid high inflation and concerns about affordability, particularly in housing. Most housing markets in Canada are at or near worst-ever affordability levels, the Royal Bank of Canada reported in December.

Number of Americans who say US ready for female president dipping: Survey (The Hill) Since 2015, the number of Americans who say they are ready for a female president has dropped by nine points, according to a new Times/SAY24 poll from YouGov poll. The survey, conducted after President Biden dropped out of the race, was designed to assess the electorate’s beliefs surrounding “gender bias,” and Vice President Harris’s chances come November. While the respondents said that both Trump and Harris are equally qualified for the job, with 49 percent saying they are, voters are hesitant about the idea of a female president—54 percent of the country says they are ready for a woman president and 30 percent said they aren’t. That number is down from 2015, when an Economist/YouGov poll found 63 percent of voters were ready for a woman president.

California’s largest fire of the year grows to 164,000 acres. (1440) The northern California blaze, known as the Park Fire, has grown to a size larger than the city of Chicago (about 148,000 acres) due to warm, dry weather and high winds. Roughly 4,000 residents in the area have been forced to evacuate, while 130 structures have been destroyed, according to officials. A 42-year-old man was arrested earlier in the week on suspicion of starting the fire via a flaming car. The fire was 0% contained as of this writing.

Venezuelans stretch meager wages they hope will grow after election (AP) A municipal market in eastern Venezuela is teeming with weekend customers hoping to score a deal among the stalls of produce, meat, cheese and shelf-stable products. Some carry plantains, cassava crackers, corn flour or half a carton of eggs as they walk home. Middle school teacher Cruz Brito is standing across the street amid the smell of fish that clings to the hot humid air of Maturin. She has about $27 in her bank account and a single can of sardines at home. She is five days away from her next paycheck and her oldest daughter needs college supplies for the following day. So, she walks away empty handed. Maybe her neighborhood convenience store will sell her a couple of things on credit. Eleven years into her country’s complex crisis, the days of food shortages are virtually gone, but with many earning under $200 a month, getting the essentials is a constant struggle for families in rural and urban areas alike. People work second and third jobs, start little businesses, exchange services and gamble to scrape together the money, but still every decision seems to involve a calculator and a calendar. That angst-provoking math is among the reasons why the ruling party’s hold on power looks vulnerable in Sunday’s presidential election.

Paris Olympics Security: Unprecedented AI Surveillance (La Marea/Spain) A middle-aged man walks around the stadium where the Olympic track and field events are going to take place. Outside, everything is quiet. One can only hear the echoes of applause when a high jumper manages to clear the bar, or sprinters finish their race or one of the stars who will compete that afternoon appears on the jumbo screens. Then suddenly, three police cars arrive at full speed, cut off the man's path and arrest him in just a few seconds. A camera had recorded him and an algorithm had raised the alarm: he must have made some unexpected movement, or perhaps there was an abandoned object nearby, or an “unforeseen” gathering of people. Or perhaps he looks a lot like someone who participated a few months ago in a protest against the war in Gaza… From the command center, someone had registered the anomaly, assessed its credibility and sent the order to the nearest patrols. No, this is not a scene from some futuristic show, but something that could happen during the Olympic Games held in Paris and other French towns. This will be the first worldwide-level event utilizing an algorithmic video surveillance system (VSS) to help ensure security measures. More than 400 cameras will be added to the 4,000 already operating in Paris and placed at the entrances to stadiums, streets and nearby transport, to ensure that there are as few blind spots as possible security-wise during the most followed sporting competition on the planet, with around one and a half million visitors expected to attend. And the system will remain after the games end.

Greece’s Santorini bursts with tourists as locals call for a cap (Reuters) Armed with selfie sticks and phones, the tourists flood into Santorini from everywhere—on dinghies from giant ocean liners, on coaches that zigzag up the steep hillsides, atop donkeys that clip-clop along the narrow cobbled streets. Some brave the afternoon heat to find a good spot among the white-washed houses and blue-domed churches where they then wait hours to watch the Greek island’s famed sunset. As the sun dips, many more join them, squeezing along the cliffside or onto balconies, cameras at the ready. For many of Santorini’s 20,000 permanent residents, the once idyllic island of quaint villages and pristine beaches has been ruined by mass tourism. As protests against excessive tourism erupt in other popular holiday destinations, including Venice and Barcelona, Santorini represents one of the starkest examples of how hordes of visitors can impact a place. The growing number of foreign tourists—some 3.4 million visited the island last year, according to mayor Nikos Zorzos—are putting pressure on its outdated infrastructure and are pricing islanders out of the housing market.

Russia, adapting tactics, advances in Donetsk and takes more Ukrainian land (Washington Post) Russian forces have mounted an arc of attack in Ukraine’s eastern Donbas region, pushing through intense summer heat in a bid to extend Moscow’s steady territorial gains and capture the city of Pokrovsk, a key transit junction. The offensive is underway as Ukraine continues to suffer from a shortage of soldiers and as election turmoil in the United States has set off new speculation that Kyiv may soon be forced to negotiate a surrender of lands. After an influx of American weapons and money helped Ukraine blunt a renewed invasion of the northeast Kharkiv region in May, preventing a major breakthrough and dashing Moscow’s hopes of surrounding Ukraine’s second-largest city, Russian commanders have refocused their attention on the Donetsk region, which may have been Russia’s objective all along. The reinvasion of the Kharkiv region, while yielding limited gains, nonetheless diverted Ukrainian resources.

India: Violence against Christians (Religion News Service) In June, Bindu Sodhi, a 32-year-old tribal woman from a small village in the densely forested state of Chhattisgarh, in central India, was killed by her neighbors while tilling her ancestral land. The villagers stoutly warned her family not to set foot in the village unless they gave up their Christian faith. Local police shrugged off Sodhi’s killing as a land dispute, despite the fact that, over the last four years, Hindu extremists and even some of Sodhi’s close relatives had been pressuring her to renounce her Christian beliefs. Attacks on Christians, who constitute only 2.3% of India’s 1.4 billion people, have risen sharply over the last few years. The main perpetrators of these crimes are extremists who believe Hinduism, India’s most prevalent faith, is synonymous with Indian identity and citizenship. Last year, the United Christian Forum, a human rights group based in New Delhi, recorded 733 incidents of violence against Christians, with an average of 61 incidents every month. “There is a surge in violence against Christians,” said AC Michael, the group’s national convener. “The government is doing little to curb police and mob brutality against Christians accused under anti-conversion laws and the undue violation of our rights.” Targeting of Christians has been going on in India since the 1990s. The gruesome murder of Australian Christian missionary Graham Staines, along with his two minor sons, by Hindu extremists in 1999 brought the world’s attention to the violence being meted out against the community. But with the rise of Modi, head of the Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party, the scale and magnitude of these threats have increased significantly.

Netanyahu says Hezbollah will pay 'heavy price' after deadly Golan Heights strike that group denies (AP) Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu warned that Hezbollah “will pay a heavy price for this attack, one that it has not paid so far,” his office said after a rocket strike Saturday at a soccer field in the Israeli-controlled Golan Heights killed at least 11 children and teens. It was the deadliest strike on an Israeli target along the country’s northern border since the fighting between Israel and the Lebanese militant group Hezbollah began. It raised fears of a broader regional war. Israel is blaming Hezbollah for the strike, but Hezbollah has rushed to deny any role.

An Israeli airstrike hits a school sheltering people in Gaza, killing at least 30 including children (AP) Israeli airstrikes hit a school used by displaced Palestinians in central Gaza on Saturday, killing at least 30 people including several children. Seven children and seven women were among the dead taken from the girls’ school in Deir al-Balah to Al Aqsa Hospital. Israel’s military said it targeted a Hamas command center used to direct attacks against Israeli troops and store “large quantities of weapons.” Hamas called the military’s claim false. Civil defense workers in Gaza said thousands had been sheltering in the school, which also contained a medical site. Associated Press journalists saw a dead toddler in an ambulance and bodies covered with blankets. Shattered walls gaped and classrooms were in ruins. People searched the rubble strewn with pillows and other signs of habitation.

‘I just feel like living every day’: oldest American, 115, offers tips for longevity (Guardian) The oldest person in the US offers two bits of advice when asked for the keys to her longevity: “If the good Lord gave it to you, use it” and “Speak your mind, don’t bite your tongue!” Elizabeth Francis’s pearls of wisdom were recirculated widely as she celebrated her 115th birthday on Thursday. Francis was born in 1909 in St Mary parish, Louisiana, about 90 miles (145km) south-west of New Orleans. She was two when the Titanic sank and had turned 11 before women gained the right to vote in the US. She has seen the end of both world wars, lived through 20 different US presidencies and survived two of the deadliest pandemics: the 1918 flu outbreak and Covid-19. Francis has previously attributed at least some of her longevity to her religious faith. Fellow worshippers from the Good Hope Missionary Baptist church join the family and friends who visit her daily at the home she shares with her daughter, Dorothy Williams.

#headlines #news

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duskythesomething · 1 year ago

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omfg have i ever even given y'all the rundown on Tamakii's whole story?? he is such a Sad Boy allow me to explain-

so a few years back i had my first ever Real DnD with my ex and some former friends. i homebrewed my own race of catpeople that are essentially smaller humans with varying levels of feline features rather than straight up furries and called them Felikin, and i made Tamakii. this is the first depiction of him!

and whoo boy, i packed some backstory into this fella. Tamakii was sold off by his family, who lived in poverty, both to support their other children but to hopefully give him a chance at a more fulfiling life. he was bought by the royal family of the kingdom they lived in and groomed to be a guard for their young princess Natalina. they were both roughly similar in age, so they grew up together, and she was the only companionship he ever had. the idea was, either he survives and succeeds in his everlasting job, or he fails and dies trying and they just find a new guard for her. lucky for Tama, he's capable with a sword and in some magic, and he has an ability that allows him to take on a werecat form to protect others.

eventually, around the time that Tamakii was turning 20, their kingdom and a neighboring kingdom went to war. the battle came closer and closer to the city with the palace, and all hands ended up on deck fighting a losing battle. while his job was to protect Natalina specifically, he was also made to fend off attackers at the castle. in the midst of the battle, Tamakii got knocked unconscious by some sort of blast, and (where the DnD storyline actually began) woke up nearly a decade later, a continent away, buried halfway under rubble.

crawling from the wreckage, Tamakii was immediately thrown into typical DnD shenanigans, particularly fighting off and investigating a necromantic zombie apocalypse. the only important character from the party was a half-giant named Viggo, also searching for the special lady in his life. they do eventually find her, and Viggo parts ways with the group. the group also uncovers a dragon egg, which Tamakii lugged around until it hatched into a baby Tiamat, whom he named Tie-Dye. Tie-Dye stays with Viggo and his wife for the majority of Tamakii's adventures.

Tamakii's overall goal in life had shifted- he was supposed to be a protector and he failed. now, he was trying to figure out what exactly happened and get his shit back together. spoilers- he doesn't. i prefer to leave current-canon Tamakii off here, sad and angsty and struggling with his purpose in life especially regarding devotion to others. there is, though, two divering futures for Tamakii.

either way, Tamakii learns that it was Natalina who sent him away, hoping to give him a life of freedom she felt he deserved. her whereabouts are unknown, dead or alive, and the old kingdom definitely collapsed in that great war. in the first future, nothing spectactular happens, and Tamakii is just a really sad guy weighed down by failure, trying to move on with his new dragon child.

in the other future, Tamakii takes that fucked up necromancy knowledge he gained during the apocalypse and goes batshit crazy, trying to find Natalina to revive her and bring back his old life except, undead.

all in all, Tamakii is my sopping wet tragic catboy meowmeow who i use as a channel for all my Own personal failures and angst! here is a link to his Artfight page to see other art and facts about him: https://artfight.net/character/1653149.tamakii

#mrowr.txt #ask to tag #tamakii #long post #this is why i post about him so much #he's got that feral devotion to someone but also that sweet failure #to do anything correctly in his entire life #he was made to be a machine p much and then thrown into freedom like ????WHAT DO I DO NOW

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dirhwangdaseul-archived · 2 years ago

Text

How ‘Lord of the Rings’ Inspires Italy’s Giorgia Meloni - The New York Times

posted the entire thing was behind paywall

ROME — Giorgia Meloni, the hard-right leader who is likely to be the next prime minister of Italy, used to dress up as a hobbit.

As a youth activist in the post-Fascist Italian Social Movement, she and her fellowship of militants, with nicknames like Frodo and Hobbit, revered “The Lord of the Rings” and other works by the British writer J.R.R. Tolkien. They visited schools in character. They gathered at the “sounding of the horn of Boromir” for cultural chats. She attended “Hobbit Camp” and sang along with the extremist folk band Compagnia dell’Anello, or Fellowship of the Ring.

All of that might seem some youthful infatuation with a work usually associated with fantasy-fiction and big-budget epics rather than political militancy. But in Italy, “The Lord of the Rings” has for a half-century been a central pillar upon which descendants of post-Fascism reconstructed a hard-right identity, looking to a traditionalist mythic age for symbols, heroes and creation myths free of Fascist taboos.

“I think that Tolkien could say better than us what conservatives believe in,” said Ms. Meloni, 45. More than just her favorite book series, “The Lord of the Rings” was also a sacred text. “I don’t consider ‘The Lord of the Rings’ fantasy,” she said.

Tolkien’s agrarian universe, full of virtuous good guys defending their idyllic, wooded kingdoms from hordes of dark and violent orcs, has for decades prompted scholarly, and convention center, debate over the author’s racial and ideological biases, his view of modernity and globalization. More recently, his works have also provided a fertile shire for nationalists who see themselves in his heroic archetypes.

But in Italy, the adventures of Bilbo Baggins and the maps of Mordor have informed generations of post-Fascist youths, including Ms. Meloni, who, the latest polls strongly suggest, will emerge from the election on Sunday as Italy’s first female prime minister — and the first descended from post-Fascist roots.

Ms. Meloni, who leads the hard-right Brothers of Italy party, and who has called for a naval blockade against illegal migrants and warns her supporters about the dark, conspiratorial forces of internationalist bankers, first read Tolkien, a conservative who once called Hitler a “ruddy little ignoramus,” at age 11. She became a fantasy fanatic.

In her early 20s, she surfaced in chat rooms under the nickname Khy-ri, calling herself the “little dragon of the Italian undernet.” More recently, she named her political conference Atreju, an Italian rendering of the name of the hero of “The NeverEnding Story,” best known as a 1980s cult film featuring a flying animatronic character that appeared to be half dragon, half Labrador retriever.

As a government minister in 2008, Ms. Meloni posed for a magazine profile next to a statue of the wizard Gandalf. In 2019, she honored a manga character, Captain Harlock, the “space pirate,” as a “symbol of a generation that challenged the apathy and indifference of people.” Last month, she lamented that her busy campaign schedule had kept her from mainlining Amazon’s new “Rings of Power” series.

But Ms. Meloni’s otherworldly interests have as much to do with politics as personal taste.

“The genre of fantasy in Italy has always been cultivated by the right,” said Umberto Croppi, a former member of the Italian Social Movement who is now the director of a national association of public and private agencies in Italy’s culture industry. He said that the two worlds shared a “vision of spirituality against materialism, a metaphysical vision of life against the forms of the modern world.”

The modern world did not work out so well for the die-hard Fascists who stayed loyal to Hitler and Mussolini after the official Italian government switched sides to join the Allies during World War II.

After the war, many of those Fascists flocked to the Italian Social Movement, but the party’s efforts to reintegrate into Italy’s institutions eventually hit a wall. Its younger members, feeling excluded from civil society, seized on an Italian edition of “The Lord of the Rings,” prefaced by Elémire Zolla, a philosopher who was a point of reference on the hard right and who argued that Tolkien was “talking about everything we confront every day.”

That resonated with a small group of the party’s Youth Front, already bristling at the cultural dominance of the left. They saw themselves, as one of their leaders, Generoso Simeone, put it, as “inhabitants of the mythical Middle-earth, also struggling with dragons, orcs, and other creatures.” Seeking a more palatable alternative to quoting Mussolini’s speeches and spray-painting Swastikas, which, Mr. Croppi pointed out, “was easy to reproduce on walls,” in 1977, they created the first Camp Hobbit festival.

“The idea to call it Camp Hobbit came from a real strategy,” said Mr. Croppi, one of the founders. The thinking was to move beyond the old symbols and to capitalize on the party’s isolation, smallness and victimization by violent leftist enemies to make their hero “not the warrior Aragorn, but the little hobbit — we wanted to get out of this militarist, heroic idea.”

The party’s old guard was perplexed. But, with the support of hard-liners, Camp Hobbit festivals emerged as formative touchstones for the young activists. Celtic cross flags that meshed perfectly with the Tolkien aesthetic waved. The band Fellowship of the Ring played songs about European identity, including what became the anthem of the party’s Youth Front, “Tomorrow Belongs to Us.”

The song echoed a ballad “Tomorrow Belongs to Me,” sung by a member of the Hitler Youth in a chilling scene in the movie “Cabaret.” Mr. Croppi acknowledged that the camps had their fair share of Fascist salutes, but argued they were “ironic.”

When Ms. Meloni entered the picture as a teenage activist in the Youth Front in Rome in the 1990s, the far right — especially in the capital — was still in a trenchlike mentality, struggling to break with the previous generation.

Francesco Lollobrigida, a leader in Ms. Meloni’s party, Brothers of Italy (as well as her brother-in-law), said that he and others had a desire starting in the 1980s “to break with the patterns of a party that still had inside of it people who had been in the Social Republic, who had done fascism.”

Ms. Meloni, seated across from him, agreed.

“There was a desire to get out of that,” she said.

Ms. Meloni attended a new iteration of Camp Hobbit in 1993, which she called a “political laboratory” and where she sang along with Fellowship of the Ring and discussed culture and books.

“We read everything,” Ms. Meloni said.

The bookstore of choice for the hard right in Rome was Europa, just outside the Vatican walls. On a recent visit, it displayed titles like “Mussolini Boys” and “The Occult Origins of Nazism.” A picture of Hitler stood watch above the register next to a cup of pens.

Europa has a section dedicated to Julius Evola, an esoteric, deeply taboo, Nazi-affiliated Italian philosopher who became a favorite of Italy’s post-Fascist terrorists and bourgeoisie-loathing nostalgists. Evola argued that progress and equality were poisonous illusions.

“A bit boring,” Mr. Lollobrigida said of Evola’s work.

Ms. Meloni said that instead a more influential writer at the time was the more mainstream Ernst Jünger, a German former soldier, who sought to make sense of war but also glorified combat.

But for Ms. Meloni, all of those took a back shelf to “The Lord of the Rings.” She said she had learned from dwarves and elves and hobbits the “value of specificity” with “each indispensable for the fact of being particular.” She extrapolated that as a lesson about protecting Europe’s sovereign nations and unique identities.

In the 1990s, after becoming the leader of the youth wing of the National Alliance, the party that succeeded the Italian Social Movement, Ms. Meloni started her own political festival, which she called “similar” to Camp Hobbit. But this time, she named it Atreju. “It was the symbol of a boy in battle against nihilism, against the Nothing that advances,” she said.

She joked that Italians could hardly pronounce Atreju, but she said that the annual conventions, including the first one, in 1998, which was about the dangers of globalization, had reach.

“We wanted to say that globalization, you have to govern it,” she said. “If you look around, we weren’t wrong, were we?” she added.

At the Atreju convention in 2018, the guest of honor, Stephen K. Bannon, walked by patriotic posters of “Italy’s heroes” and desks selling Evola-themed T-shirts and works by Evola. Ms. Meloni’s supporters have interpreted her calls to defend Italy from mass migration — and the replacement of native Italians by invaders — as a battle cry to protect Middle-earth. This month, at a rally in Sardinia, Davide Anedda, 21, the leader of the local youth wing of the Brothers of Italy, wore a T-shirt reading “Hobbit.”

“If you’re not from our world, it’s very hard to understand,” Mr. Anedda said, explaining that Hobbit was a post-Fascist far-right rock band and that Tolkien had written “a fundamental part of our history.”

And for Italy, maybe a part of its future.

Ms. Meloni, who seems poised to grab her own brass ring after decades in the political trenches, said that her understanding of power and its ability to corrupt and isolate a person was “closely tied to Tolkien’s reading.”

“I consider power very dangerous,” she said. “I consider it an enemy and not a friend.”

@vague-humanoid @antifaspiderman @beserkerjewel

#fascism #italy #twi decades of warnings did nothing to prevent this but they've been fascist for the last decade already considering their treatment of #romani people and immigrants #italy has always been like this and now we know from infancy #librero #europe #the lord of the rings #fantasy #media

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humanwheatleyslefttoenail · 4 years ago

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why do you ship chell and glados if glados is basically her mom

Okay this is actually a pretty common misconception in the fandom that unfortunately a lot of people have taken as canon, but I’m feeling nice so I’ll answer your question.

Basically, anon is referencing a theory from around 2012 that Caroline is Chell’s mom. The evidence for the theory is as follows:

- The turret opera calls Chell “bambina”, which means “little girl” in Italian

- Chell’s name can be found on a Bring Your Daughter To Work Day science project

- GLaDOS references the possibility of Chell being adopted multiple times

- GLaDOS is significantly nicer to Chell after discovering she’s Caroline

And, anon, you’re right, it does sound like a pretty good argument at first glance. The problem is that a lot of these points don’t actually hold up to scrutiny.

For example, although “bambina” literally translates to “little girl,” it’s often used in the same way “baby girl” is used in English - it can mean child, but contextually it’s usually a flirtatious term. (Source: Cambridge Dictionary)

For Chell’s science project, it doesn’t work as evidence for the theory because GLaDOS killed the scientists around 1998-ish, when Caroline had presumably been uploaded several years earlier and Cave was already dead. Also, Chell’s in her 20′s, and since we know from Lab Rat/Portal 2 that people don’t age in stasis, and that Doug put Chell at the top of the test subject list only weeks after the takeover, Chell was 28 at the time of the takeover. The science project is really only an Easter egg and doesn’t actually fit into the canon timeline let alone prove anything about Caroline and Cave.

GLaDOS talking about Chell being adopted is a pretty strong point, I’ll admit, but also it’s important to remember that maybe half of what GLaDOS says is true. And even if we take what she says at face value, she also says there’s a man and a woman in stasis with Chell’s last name, which could not have been Cave and Caroline because they were already dead at that point. And the official book Final Hours Of Portal 2 confirms Cave and Caroline were not married and could not have shared the same name anyway. It was also the 50′s, an an unmarried couple of two likely famous people having a child would’ve been scandalous, and yet we see no hint of something like this affecting their company.

Also, although GLaDOS is nicer to Chell after the Caroline reveal, that’s not necessarily indicative of a mother-daughter relationship, and neither is any of their interactions. It’s just. GLaDOS being friendlier.

Finally, when this theory was made (and let’s be honest - it still is happening) Chell was constantly whitewashed to hell and back.

Chell is Japanese-Brazilian, and Cave and Caroline are white, so it would be a near impossibility for her to be their biological child (and insisting otherwise is kinda. just. whitewashing). And although people will cry “adoption!”, based on what I’ve previously proven, that’s pretty much impossible. This theory that somehow she’s Cave and Caroline’s daughter erases an important part of her identity. [Disclaimer, I am white, but this is what I’ve heard from around the fandom]

With all that said, the idea that she’s the daughter of Cave and Caroline really doesn’t hold weight when you really analyze the canon. It’s surface level analysis that doesn’t hold up. And honestly? The idea kinda cheapens the story. It’s much more powerful that GLaDOS learns to care about Chell and becomes kinder than just. Oh, she remembered she’s related to Chell.

But to actually answer your ask.

Why do I ship them?

Well, they aren’t mother and daughter, I think that’s pretty obvious now. But if you actually look at a lot of subtext in Portal 2, without the lens of the mother theory, it’s actually pretty romantic!

I know that sounds ridiculous, but bear with me!

Now - it’s totally okay if you don’t ship them. I get it. Their interactions in Portal 1 and the first half of Portal 2 are toxic if not outright well. Y’know. Murderous. I completely understand why that turns people off from shipping them, and ultimately, shipping is a personal thing. To each his own.

But before you judge me, let me present my case.

Exhibit A: Portal

Portal is kinda gay. No, really. Chell and GLaDOS are enemies in this game, but the entire focus is on their relationship (good or not) and the power struggle between them. They are opposites, two sides of the same coin, different representations of opposite ideologies. People have analyzed Portal as a relationship metaphor, or as a metaphor about women’s role in society - either way, the heart of Portal is the complicated dynamic between Chell and GLaDOS.

That’s not necessarily enough to code a romance, but a lot of popular (and especially popular queer ones) ships begin with opposite ideologies, symbolic powers colliding. Portal cements their relationship as a toxic one, something on the verge of falling apart and hurting both parties in the end. The ending image, of Chell and GLaDOS side by side after the battle, reinforces the symbolic parallels between the two.

The companion cube is also pretty symbolically important to this interpretation. It’s literally a representation of someone’s heart, and you are told to protect it and preserve it under GLaDOS’ orders, and then you have to destroy it regardless of how you actually feel about doing that. You are destroying GLaDOS’ heart, so to speak.

There’s also the ending song, Still Alive. The lyrics speak for themselves.

They hint that GLaDOS’ feelings about Chell are more complicated than they may appear (if she’s not being sarcastic...) and she literally talks about Chell breaking her heart (also, think back to the companion cube. Yeah.). The entire song is structurally similar to many a breakup number, with the laments of “I’m glad it happened, but also leave.”

At the end, we also see that the long promised cake GLaDOS was supposedly lying about was real the whole time. Before Portal 2 came out, it was mostly interpreted as a stinger ending (along with the nicer lyrics of Still Alive) to make you question GLaDOS’ true motives and intentions.

She actually did have a real cake waiting for you. (Side note - not really evidence, but in Argentina, “torta” means cake in Spanish. It’s also a slang term for lesbians. So. Do with that what you will). The cake is what GLaDOS offers you to lull you into the sense that she cares about you, so discovering that “the cake is a lie” wakes you up to the realization that she doesn’t. Except then the idea is subverted one last time, at the very end, showing that the cake is real and at least some of what she said she meant.

You also see the companion cube. You know, GLaDOS’ symbolic heart?

Now, okay, you might be thinking I’m extrapolating a bit too much. And you might be right. But Portal is not the only game in the series, and if you’re asking me about Cave and Caroline you obviously know about Portal 2.

Exhibit B: Portal 2

If you thought Portal was gay, Portal 2 turns that up to 11.

Even before GLaDOS wakes up, you’re treated to some visual subtext. A few of Rattmann’s drawings representing the events of Portal 2 focus a lot on the relationship between GLaDOS and Chell, with more of the cake symbolism.

In this, you can see a face layered on top of GLaDOS. This could be foreshadowing about Caroline, and likely is, but also resembles his other drawing of Chell. It insists that Chell is a part of GLaDOS, or reinforces parallels between Chell and Caroline, hinting at something either way.

In this picture, we also see Chell standing on top of GLaDOS, in the same position where the overlay of the feminine face was, again referencing the parallel. It also presents them as opposites, fundamental parts of the same thing and both connected to the same basis, but on opposing sides.

When GLaDOS wakes up, she returns to her antagonistic role, but there are more hints to something deeper just like in Portal.

Here, in her awakening lines, she references Chell not unlike an estranged ex. Also worth noting that GLaDOS is pretty much the personification of testing (in a sense, she is testing since she can control all of Aperture like an extension of her body), and insinuates that Chell loves to test. And that she reciprocates that feeling.

In test chamber 10, she says this:

It’s supposed to be threatening, but it does read as almost... sentimental.

There’s also another chamber with companion cubes in Portal 2. I already talked about their symbolism in Portal, and the same pretty much applies to them here. However, GLaDOS says something interesting about them during this level:

Once again, meant to be intimidating, ends up coming off as “well, GLaDOS, why were you going to give Chell a heart shaped representation of yourself that says ‘I love you?’” And you might think I’m stretching the GLaDOS’ heart metaphor thing a little far here, and I might agree, if the companion cubes didn’t literally sing Cara Mia for you.

Cara Mia is the turret opera from the end of the game, which is all about how much GLaDOS cares about Chell. More on that later. But the companion cubes play a song called Love as A Construct, and when you get close to them, they sing a specific part of the song that has the tune of Cara Mia. These things literally exist to sing about GLaDOS’ feelings.

Which makes this line a lot more. For lack of a better term. Tsundere-ish.

Then, right before the escape, she starts talking about the confetti from her fake surprise.

I really don’t have to explain this one. What else does GLaDOS consider an inconvenience but might miss anyway? Or, more aptly, who else?

Then, during the escape, she teases a (fake) final test chamber in front of you, and forms the panels in the shape of a heart. No, really.

Up to this point, a lot of the points I’ve presented are interspersed with a fair amount of antagonization on GLaDOS’ behalf, more Foe Yay than anything actually hinting at something deeper than GLaDOS being conflicted about whether she loves or hates Chell. But things really ramp up after Wheatley’s betrayal, when the two of them are forced to team up. (I should also note here that “enemies to lovers” is a pretty classic queer romance trope.)

Here, GLaDOS is put on an equal level with Chell and they have to rely on each other if they want to survive. For the rest of the singleplayer campaign, GLaDOS becomes a lot nicer and even friendly to Chell. There comes a point where she starts referring to Chell as a teammate, calling them “we.” She begins to consider them one unit, two opposites unified. Here’s what she says after the lemon rant:

You can not only see her using we, but actively talking about how her and Chell are going to fight Wheatley together. There’s also that last line - “let’s explode with some dignity.” GLaDOS has fully accepted the very likely possibility that she and Chell might die together. That she might die on the same level, and the same team as Chell. And she seems... surprisingly okay with that, as long as she and Chell go together.

It’s during the Old Aperture levels that Chell and GLaDOS also discover that they have a lot in common. This is the part of the game where GLaDOS figures out she’s Caroline, that she’s human. Or, that she’s like Chell. And Chell discovers (from what we can tell anyway) that Caroline is kind, that she’s funny and smart and so many of these things she never noticed about GLaDOS before. Now also with the knowledge she is fighting alongside another human being.

You can also draw parallels between Chell and Caroline, both intelligent women ultimately betrayed by their seemingly innocuous male friends before being trapped in Aperture and forced to team up with one another in a way that will free both of them. We see that really, GLaDOS isn’t that different from Chell - she too has been imprisoned in this place against her will, but in a completely different way. Once again, the idea of two sides of the same coin applies here.

I’ve written another meta about this before, but I also think the whole idea of repressing a part of your identity and hating it, before bonding with another woman and then realizing that it’s okay to be like her and to be on her side. It’s okay to be yourself and meeting her is what helps you discover this new part of yourself. Is kinda inherently gay. GLaDOS’ discovery of her own humanity just fits so well into a queer realization narrative, to me at least.

Then, Chell and GLaDOS escape Old Aperture and have to get through Wheatley’s tests.

Here, GLaDOS isn’t just begrudgingly on Chell’s team. She’s actively helpful. She wants to help Chell solve tests, defends her from Wheatley’s insults, and makes jokes to lighten the mood. Things that can really only be explained by her caring about Chell, especially the part about the insults. See below.

After the two escape Wheatley’s testing track, right before the boss fight GLaDOS has a few other things to say.

GLaDOS is not going to betray Chell, because of some kind of conscience. But she could easily ignore that back in her body, and yet? Here she’s deciding not to, and for no good reason. She didn’t have to say that to Chell, but she did, because she cares and she wants Chell to live.

And then, moments before the fight:

The final lines imply that GLaDOS does not think of Chell as an enemy anymore, and that it doesn’t matter what Chell thinks because they are in this together and they are getting revenge together. It’s pretty heartwarming to be honest, to know that even in a fight that will almost certainly kill you, she is there rooting for you and caring about you, even if you don’t feel the same way about her. It no longer matters to GLaDOS whether you even reciprocate - you staying alive, you making it through is enough for her.

So Chell fights Wheatley and sends him into space, all well and good, and at this point, GLaDOS has the option to kill Chell. But not only does she not, she actively saves Chell, and holds her hand in the process. If you don’t believe me:

And not only that, but when Chell goes unconscious from her injuries, GLaDOS sits and waits for her to wake up. It’s also implied that GLaDOS carries her to the elevator, since it’s where she wakes up but not where she passed out. In the scene where Chell blacks out, you can also hear the part of Love As A Construct that sounds like Cara Mia. Yeah. Yeah.

If you think that this cannot possibly get any gayer, you are wrong again, because then GLaDOS makes her final speech. Which is really just a love confession, let’s be honest.

The “surge of emotion?” Do you mean love, GLaDOS? And the idea of GLaDOS considering Chell her best friend, despite everything these two have done to each other? The idea that GLaDOS, out of all people, forgives someone?

Except this isn’t even Chell’s final send-off. GLaDOS writes her an entire opera of turrets, that sing a literal love song. (Note what I said earlier about the use of the word “bambina”).

It really can’t get any more obvious than that. “My (affectionate romantic term here), my dear, I adore you.” How. Is. That. Heterosexual. In. Any. Way.

So Chell goes to the surface, set free by GLaDOS (think of the saying “if you love something, set it free), and you think that’s the end. Until GLaDOS gives you a companion cube so you aren’t alone on the journey, and from the burn marks, you know it’s your first companion cube. Her original heart, her first gift to you, a piece of her that she wants you to carry with you to remind you that she does care about you after everything. It also gives the lyrics to Still Alive a much more genuine meaning.

Portal 2 ends, and then the ending song, another GLaDOS number plays. Just like Still Alive, Want You Gone is structurally a break up song and very obviously about GLaDOS missing Chell and “counting on” (read: caring about/loving) Chell’s tendencies and quirks.

She’s accepted Chell completely, and yet also given Chell the one thing she wants most. Only wanting Chell gone can mean GLaDOS not wanting Chell in her life anymore, but can also mean she wants to give Chell the freedom she’s wanted for so, so long. It’s the best thing she can give.

In the co-op campaign, GLaDOS also references still caring about Chell.

And that’s the end of the Portal series. Except. Brace yourself. Despite the games being over, there is STILL more subtext somehow. It gets. Even gayer.

Exhibit C: Supplemental Evidence

Valve has made a lot of extra/cut content for the Portal series, and I’ll be looking at some of it below.

This official valentine from Valve shows GLaDOS offering a romantic partner cake, which as we’ve established before, is very symbolic of GLaDOS’ feelings about and/or relationship with Chell.

There’s a lot of other concept art and official art that emphasizes their relationship too. See below.

There’s also some cut GLaDOS lines that are even gayer than the source material and again, sound like confessions or references to a breakup:

The idea of “discovering things about someone”... how much more obvious can it get?

The developers have even confirmed a lot of my commentary on Chell and GLaDOS’ relationship in The Final Hours Of Portal 2. See these quotes from the book/this post:

The devs literally describe it as a romance. They use terms like “cheating,” they wanted to write a romantic duet, JoCo purposefully wrote the endings like love songs. It is literally, blatantly said by the creators of the game that their relationship is interpreted romantically. By the creators of the game.

And if Word of God confirmation isn’t enough for you, have a song written for a cut alternate ending by GLaDOS’ voice actress, Ellen McClain. The song is literally nothing but GLaDOS talking about caring about Chell, about not wanting her to die/leave GLaDOS alone, about wanting to bake a cake with Chell, about waiting for Chell to wake her up. It’s so genuinely sweet and sad, and really, really romantic in the most heartwrenching way possible.

JoCo also came back for the Portal levels in Lego Dimensions, writing one final breakup song for GLaDOS to sing about Chell. It comes off as GLaDOS not wanting to admit she misses Chell even though she obviously does, trying to replace their relationship but failing, and even explicitly forgiving Chell/wanting her to come back.

Also, the “finally I understand,” as if only now GLaDOS understands just how deep her feelings for Chell are... What else can I say?

In Lego Dimensions, GLaDOS also outright rejects anyone who isn’t Chell.

In Conclusion:

Why do I ship Chell and GLaDOS?

Well, ultimately, it doesn’t matter whether I ship them.

Because I think it’s glaringly obvious Portal does.

#chelldos #chell #glados #portal #portal 2 #tw fatphobia #whitewashing #fandom racism #long post

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kpop-dungeon-dark · 3 years ago

Text

ALPHA HYBRID!JONGIN X YOU

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Semi-Noncon, breeding, claiming. Both characters are of legal age in this. This does not represent Kim Jongin nor anyone affiliated in any way and is purely a work of fiction. Browse at your own risk, you've been warned.

Request: Your mate Alpha Jongin claims you on a full moon against your will.

Y/n rolled her eyes at the eldest son of the Kims, Jongin, before she sipped on her drink and walked to the other side of the hall where the party was being held. She was only here because her mom forced her to do so, saying the whole family was invited and it'd be rude. The annoyed girl was standing in one of the many big balls of his mansion. And Jongin was so damn cocky, arrogant, proud and fucking smug.

The Kims were an elite wolf hybrid family and Jongin's father was the current mayor of the city. Humans and wolf hybrids coexisted throughout the whole world with almost all the hybrids being elite, the specie almost a class of its own. Currently, Jongin was showing off some project he was working on for the city whilst literally eye fucking Y/n who was the daughter of his father's human bestfriend.

She wondered what girl would fall for him. He was way too fucking over confident in himself and his abilities. The man carried himself like he was above everyone else around him and probably thought that too. How could anyone like him? Ugh. He was too much to bear with.

"You seemed bored during my speech." Y/n broke out of her trance, jumping a bit when she heard the familiar deep voice behind her. Rolling her eyes she stood up straight now as she was leaning against the railing of one of the many balconies of the mansion, staring at the full moon. "Tsk… isn't this kind of weather cold for you humans? What if you get sick, you foolish little girl…" Before his warm coat was draped over her naked shoulders.

Clenching her fist, the girl turned around to glare up at him. "I am 20! I am not litt-" she stopped abruptly when she came in face to chest contact with the taller, gulping at how he was staring down at her. "J- Jongin…" She whispered, throat dry.

"Hm…?" He casually sounded like he didn't have her trapped against the railing like that. Looking down at her soft curly locks, he softly pushed them out of her pretty face, tucking the strands behind her ear. "Better now that I can see that beautiful face fully."

Y/n felt her legs trembling. She had never been this close to another man let alone Kim fucking Jongin! "Y- Your eyes… t- they're… r- red…" The girl had always found the fact that they could shift into literal wolves terrifying, that was also one of the many reasons she avoided interacting with hybrids as much as she could.

"They are?" Putting his hands on the railing on the Y/n's either sides, the man leaned down and levelled their gazes, staring down at her calmly. He liked how her cheeks were red and pupils shook with fear. Good. "It's a full moon after all. They get like this on such nights. But don't worry, doll. I won't hurt you. I've trained plenty to keep Kai under control. He doesn't bite" before he grinned, his own words contradicting his body because his teeth looked sharper and longer.

"O- Oh alright… I- I'll go then~" shrugging his coat off, the girl tried to escape but oh no.

"Did you think about what I said, little one?" His bigger hand grasped her smaller one before he pulled her right back into him. "My confession… the other day." Jongin raised an eyebrow and spoke before she would try to play dumb. "You're my mate, baby. I need you on these nights… But you're always so busy running away from your Alpha… your mate… your guardian…" His voice was sickeningly low and sweet, plump lips grazing against her cheek. "Your protector and owner."

Angered from his last words, the girl furrowed her eyebrows and glared up at him. "I- I can protect myself just f- fine! Thank you! N- Now let me g- go! I already told you I like someone else! Y- You're a hybrid! I am human! Do you really think I am t- that stupid?! NO. We can't be mates! We are different species!"

The male sighed and shook his head. "Not when you stutter like that. Tsk. You just have to make it so much harder and complicated than it actually is, right? Little brats like you just won't learn until they're taught. And luckily your Alpha is here to teach you all that you need to learn."

Usually, he'd be able to keep his wolf under control much more as well as his anger. But the moon shining so bright right in his face was not helping. And then this little girl right here, huffing so adorably in her top cut low dress was looking so damn beautiful. Her constant denial wasn't helping.

"Thinking your Alpha is a liar…" Throwing her over his shoulder, he smacked her ass. "Tsk. You deserve to be punished harshly for that, my little human" before another smack landed on her ass as the man entered his bedroom, locking the door before he threw her struggling form on the bed.

"L- LET ME GO! Y- YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Before she tried to take her heels off to hit him with that, making him throw his head back and laugh loudly.

"What a pathetic little mate I have!" Smacking her hands out of the way, the man ripped her shoes off before ripping her dress from the bottom all the way up to the top, causing her to squeak and try to hide herself. "Fuck! You're so beautiful, my little mate!" Catching her kick mid-air, the man crawled on top of her and smacked her lips softly before kissing her. "Trying to hurt your Alpha? Bad baby."

Y/n was constantly running her mouth while crying but the Alpha turned a deaf ear to it. "Just give into the way of the moons, my pretty one, you'll be so much better." Trapping her hands that she was continuously hitting him with above her head, the male started kissing her face all over, tasting her tears and getting hard on them. "So good…" Before Jongin pulled her underwear down and gagged her mouth with it, the girl's screams were muffled now.

"You're so pretty with your mouth stuffed by your underwear, baby." Holding her hands tightly in a bruising grip, the hybrid unzipped his pants, holding her thighs open with his knees before his fingers started to rub against her pussy lips, pushing them open and now playing with her folds, making her sensitive body jump up in his chest from the sudden stimulation, her slit leaking.

Jongin chuckled. "You tell me no but your body can't deny me, huh? Seems like it is much more obedient than this dumb little girl here, tsk." Y/n whined and tried kicking her legs when he pinched her pussy lips painfully. "Look at this wet cunt, tsk!" Before he smacked her folds, causing the girl to scream in pain, his cock standing up painfully hard. "You want another man?!" His fingers turned into half claws, voice getting animalistic. "Well too bad the only man that's going to be fucking you and having you is me!"

Y/n's head was pounding. She hated how good and wet she felt. Her entrance was clenching needily, wanting just any object to push in her right now. Even if it was a marker like she had back home. Of course she was naughty. The girl was 20 after all!

"Fuck baby I need you now~" before the Alpha pushed in her unprepared pussy. No marker or even toy would have prepared for this. Jongin's knot was fucking huge! The human's eyes widened and mouth fell open, her body jerking when he instantly hit her g-spot, not being able to hold back especially because of the full moon and going berserk, thrusting his whole thick knot in and out of her, snapping his fists rapidly.

"You like this baby?! You're inviting me further and further in like you love it!" Pinching her nipples, the man started to suck and bite at her tits, sucking wherever his lips touched and covering her in hickies. "Fuck baby! You're so fucking warm and tight!" He loved the smell of her purity coating his cock, balls upping in without any effort.

"You deny me like that but your body says yes. You're mine after all! And I'll rightfully fucking claim you as such!" Y/n felt her body submit more and more, eyes falling shut as she tried to breathe through her nose because her whole underwear was stuffed in her mouth.

"Tsk… you're blushing in pleasure… look at this naughty fucking girl!" Before he kissed her lips harshly, biting at them before he guided his hand back to her pussy, rubbing at her clit with his thumb while going faster and faster, licking at her dripping sweat. "You like it, Princess?! You like being forced to lay under your Alpha?! Tsk. I should have known! Little girls like you end up being the most desperate whores!"

Letting go of her hands, the man grabbed her jaw and moved her face, licking at the marking point, the junction between her shoulder and neck before he bit down hard, drawing blood out while she screamed and started to squirt, feeling her pussy spasm as her hands gripped his shoulders, shaking.

"I am going to fill your adorable little tummy with my pups. You'd like that, won't you, baby?" Jongin licked at the fresh claim mark on her skin, starting to fill her with his cum before hitting it up her g-spot repeatedly, Y/n's eyes rolled to the back of her head as she gripped his shoulders, trembling under him.

"Tell me how you feel, my pretty human…" The hybrid male husked before he pulled the underwear out of her mouth and kissed her passionately. His hands groped her perfect skin as he stopped thrusting, still letting his cock rest in her, balls deep.

"A- Alpha… Alpha please f- fill my tummy…" She finally submitted, sobbing. "I- I am sorry…" He was right. She could feel it now after being touched and claimed like this. "Y- You were r- right… I- I can feel it… I only w- want you… P- Please fill my tummy with your puppies…" Jongin smiled and kissed her tears.

"Good girl."

This is a pretty old request I found laying around along some others. I don't even have the actual request anymore so I made up a summary of the events that unfold.

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crackheadgeminibby · 4 years ago

Text

better for you

pairing: chris evans x female!black!reader

warnings: age gap, angst, language

word count: 2.7k

a/n: this lowkey sucks and is very poorly edited, i’m sorry but on the plus side, i surpassed 400 followers yesterday!! so thank you to those 400+ people🤍🤍

i do not consent to my work being copied in any way, shape of form or reposted on any other platform

not my picture

You didn’t consider yourself a jealous person. Much less a jealous girlfriend. Not at all. Never had and you thought you never would.

You had practically raised yourself as your parents had always been more preoccupied with their jobs. You loved your parents, you really did, but when your high school counselor told you that you could graduate high school a year and a half early, you took the opportunity to start college immediately and move out of your parents’ house. This drastic change when you were so young made you become extremely independent. Which is why your relationship with Chris worked almost perfectly. You valued your independence, as he did his, and you respected his independence, as he did yours.

As a corporate lawyer that had multiple firms around the country, you traveled a lot, needing to meet with clients. Chris, as an actor, also traveled a lot.

You both trusted the other without a doubt at the beginning of the relationship despite that Chris was, at first, a little wary of being with someone as young as you. As a 24-year-old, he thought that you should be living your life, partying, sleeping with whomever you wanted without being tied down, but you had explained to him that despite your age, those were not the things that you wanted.

You and Chris were truly made for each other, knowing the other more than they knew themselves. You would even dare to call yourselves soulmates.

Which is why you could not fathom why you were in your current situation.

You had left early in the day for California, where you were overseeing the opening and start-up of your newest firm. Chris, on the other hand, had left 3 days ago to go on some trip his publicist had arranged for him. You hadn’t bothered asking what it was about, assuming that it was about ASP. Plus, you didn’t mind it: he had to do what he had to do.

But now, you couldn’t believe yourself.

You were sitting on your hotel bed, in a white and fluffy robe, fresh out of the shower. Your computer was open in front of you, the TV was blaring the news and you had your phone in your hand. It was almost 11pm but you had been doing this for at least 3 hours. All three electronics were talking about the same thing: Are Chris Evans and Lily James dating??

It was a bit your fault that people gave themselves the right to assume things like that, to be honest, since you had been the one to pressure Chris about keeping your relationship secret. You knew that people would talk and judge you for your 15-year age gap. You, personally, didn’t care and neither did Chris but his career was dependent on his public image and you didn’t want to hold him back, especially not at a pivotal moment in his life like right now.

So, you had agreed on telling your families and your very close friends and Chris had convinced you to let him tell his publicist, Megan. God, she fucking hated you. When Chris arranged for you guys to meet, she had called you “a walking, breathing PR disaster”. You had laughed it off calling her funny, but you knew that she was 100% serious. You really shouldn’t have been surprised that she would do something so fucked up at some point.

A bunch of different news outlets were pumping out new stories every 30 minutes, each article a little more detailed than the previous. It was all over the Internet and it seemed to be the only thing that people cared about today.

Considering the 8-hour difference between London and San Francisco, you hadn’t been able to talk to Chris at all since you got to your hotel. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to talk to him. He hadn’t even tried to talk to you. Why was he avoiding you and acting like he had something to hide?

You’re reading the latest Daily Mail article on your computer about how Chris and Lily apparently got to his hotel in the same car when you hear your phone ring on the nightstand. You don’t even bother looking at the caller ID as you reach for your phone, eyes still glued to your computer and answer,

“Hello?”

You hear a loud exhale on the other end of the phone before you hear Chris’ tired voice, “Baby, hi.”

You tense up slightly before asking, trying to seem nonchalant, “What’s up?”

“Have you watched the news today?”

You bite your lip, thinking, before replying, lying through your teeth, “No, why? What’s going on?”

Chris sighs again before answering, “Nothing, it’s fine. How was your day?”

You roll your eyes. Was he seriously not going to say anything?

“Fine, but it’s really late and I have to get up early tomorrow so good night.”

You hang up the phone before Chris can answer anything. You throw the phone at the end of your bed, frustrated beyond belief.

You continue to read the Daily Mail article as you hear a message coming in. You don’t bother to get up to pick up your phone as you see the message appear on your computer screen a couple of seconds later.

chris💙, 11:01pm:

Good night baby girl. Good luck tomorrow🤍

You groan loudly at his message. Even when he had pissed you the fuck off, his words still brought butterflies to your stomach.

You disregard his message and finish reading the article. You roll your eyes as you close your computer and get up to put it on the hotel desk. As you’re walking back to bed, you take your phone from the end of the bed and put it on its charger, ready to go to bed.

You’re not sure how you manage to fall asleep that night as your mind swirls with unending thoughts.

When your alarm wakes you up at 6am the next day, you feel groggy, having slept very badly last night. Which was to be expected.

You get up and change while eating a protein bar before heading to the hotel gym: you needed to do something to get your energy up. Once you finish your workout, you head back to your room to get ready for the day.

When you get out of the shower, you open your computer and, having left the Daily Mail website open last night, you see a new article posted 2 minutes ago: Chris Evans and Lily James seen on a date in a London park.You groan loudly, closing your computer as you hear that your cell phone is receiving multiple texts.

You reach for your phone on the hotel desk and your eyes widen as you see your lock screen.

5 missed calls

12 messages

You open your Phone app seeing one call from Chris, two from your best friend, one from your brother and one from your mom.

You open the Messages app as a new message from your brother comes in.

will, 7:31am:

When did you break up with your boyfriend? And why didn’t you tell me?

you, 7:32am:

i didn’t

yet

will, 7:32am:

You know i’m gonna fucking murder him right?

You smile fondly at your brother’s concern, chuckling softly as you type your reply.

you, 7:33am:

as you should(:

You open the rest of your messages, mostly asking the same thing. You didn’t feel like talking about it anymore so, you ignore them until you get to your conversation with Chris.

chris💙, 5:22am:

Hey, I’m sure you’ve seen the articles by now.

I’m so sorry

Call me when you can, please. I really need to talk to you.

You bite your lip as you think about what to answer. You didn’t have the energy to deal with this right before your firm’s opening. Shaking your head, you lock your phone, putting it back on the desk, getting dressed.

As you get back to your hotel room, exhausted from your day, you hear your phone signal an incoming text for the millionth time today.

You sigh loudly: you knew it was Chris texting you again. You had been ignoring his texts all day because you didn’t want to get in a bad mood while you were opening the firm.

You put your purse and work bag on the floor, unlocking your phone. You open the conversation with Chris, scrolling through his messages.

chris💙, 6:15pm:

I’m leaving a bit earlier than I planned, I should be home tomorrow morning.

Are you back in Boston or are you gonna stay in LA?

You sigh, feeling guilty that you had been ignoring his texts all day. You start typing a reply, your finger hovering over the send button for a couple of seconds before clicking on it.

you, 6:17pm:

i’m still in san francisco i’m leaving tomorrow morning

As soon as your message goes through, you see the three dots pop up in the conversation.

chris💙, 6:17pm:

Oh my God, hi. Are you okay?

Can I call you?

You chew on your bottom lip: you really didn’t think he was going to answer that fast.

you, 6:18pm:

i’m about to take a shower then i’m gonna go to bed i’m really tired sorry

chris💙, 6:18pm:

Okay, I’m sorry

Good night

You groan loudly. You really didn’t know why you felt so guilty: he was the one running around with another woman. As you think about this, you realize that you didn’t really know who she was.

You shake your head at yourself as you pull up Google on your phone and look for her. You don’t even realize it but, 20 minutes later, you were now at the oldest post on her Instagram.

You curse at yourself, dropping your phone on your bed, and head to the shower.

You stay under the hot stream of the shower for at least an hour before you finally get out, toweling off.

You order some room service for dinner, settling down in front of a random show playing on the TV. After pushing your food around for half an hour, you sigh loudly, put the tray on the hotel desk and get under the covers before finally falling asleep.

You had not slept very well so you had been in a rush to leave the hotel and catch your flight to LAX in the morning. You were exhausted and hungry when you got to your shared LA home with Chris but there was no food in sight, considering that neither of you had been here in a couple of months.

As it was not too late in the day, you decide to take a nap and order some food after.

When you wake up a few hours later, the sun has already completely set and the house is pitch black. You rub the sleep out of your eyes and take your phone before heading to the living room to order some food.

As you enter the kitchen and are about to head to the living room, you hear a deep voice, “Hey, you’re up.”

Taken by surprise, you throw your phone in the direction of the sound and scream, “Holy shit!”

“Ow… What the fuck?”

You’re breathing heavily, clutching your chest as you turn on the kitchen lights, brightness illuminating the area as you see Chris holding the side of his head.

“Jesus Christ, Chris! You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!”

Chris rubs at his head as he looks towards you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Your heartbeat starts to slow down as you roll your eyes.

“What are you even doing here?”

Chris frowns and replies, “Well, you never told me where you were going to be but when I got back to Boston and you weren’t there, I assumed you were coming here.”

You groan silently, crossing your arms over your chest and raising your eyebrows,

“So, London seemed to be very fun.”

Chris shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling, before making eye contact with you, “I didn’t know that’s what the trip was about.”

You chuckle humorlessly, “Really, Chris? Since when do you go on trips, not knowing what they’re about?”

Chris exhales loudly, taking a couple of steps towards you, “I promise that I didn’t know. Megan planned everything and just sent me the info.”

You snort loudly, rolling your eyes. Chris frowns before asking, “What?”

“Megan, Chris? Really? She fucking hates me, of course she would pull a stunt like this.”

Chris frowns again, shaking his head, “What are you talking about? She doesn’t hate you.”

You laugh, this time, actually finding this funny, “Chris, she literally called me a walking disaster.”

Chris struggles to find an answer to that: he knew that Megan used this exact kind of formulation so he couldn’t deny it.

“And you know what? It’s fine. Maybe you really should be dating her instead of me.”

Chris’ face contorts in a mix of hurt and anger, “Why the fuck would you say something like that?”

“Because it’s true, Chris. She’s better for you. She’s actually your age, not a fucking child compared to you. She can give you the things you want from life that I can’t. Maybe it’s better that way.”

“What way?”

You shrug your shoulders, looking at your feet, mumbling, “If we weren’t together.”

Chris scoffs, “You literally have to be kidding me.”

Chris takes large steps, making his way towards you and takes your chin in his hand, forcing you to look at him.

“Y/N, I’ve told you before and I will tell you again. I do not give a shit about your age. And I thought you didn’t either. So, what’s the problem here?”

You bite your bottom lip nervously, “Because what if what Megan said is true? I mean… If people find out that we’re dating, the shit talking would never stop. I can’t do that to you.”

Chris sighs, enveloping you in a hug.

“Baby, it doesn’t matter. None of it matters if we’re not together.”

He lets you go, stroking your cheek, “You’re it for me. There is no one better for me than you. And no one is going to take that away from us. Not you. Not Megan. And certainly not my fans. If they love me as much as they say they do, then they’ll respect you.”

You chuckle slightly, “Chris, I don’t know what kind of fantasy you live in, but in real life, that’s not how things go.”

“Okay, but who cares? There’s two people in this relationship, you and me. Not you, me, Megan and my fans.”

You scoff, mumbling, “Yeah, tell Megan that.”

“I will. The same goes for her. I didn’t know she actually meant those things about you and I’ll tell her that she needs to knock that shit off.”

You sigh, nodding slightly, “Okay.”

“And, baby, I’m sorry.”

You furrow your brows, trying to understand, “I never should have agreed to Megan’s little plan thing. But, most importantly, I should have told you as soon as I knew. It’s just that I kinda owed Lily a favor and she needed this. But it doesn’t erase the fact that I should have been honest with you and I’m sorry I wasn’t.”

You sigh, “I know, it’s okay. I knew this kind of thing could happen when I decided to be with you, and I overreacted a bit so I’m sorry too. I knew it wasn’t true and I should have asked you about it instead of ignoring you. I just… couldn’t let go of the fact that maybe you should be with her.”

Chris shakes his head, “I shouldn’t. And I never will be.”

Chris laughs a bit before continuing, “Sorry, but you’ll have to try harder to get rid of me.”

You laugh loudly, throwing your head back. Looking back at Chris, you smile warmly before hugging him,

“I love you, Chris. Like, a lot.”

Chris chuckles, squeezing you tighter, “I love you too.”

#chris evans #chris evans x black!reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfic #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x woc #chris evans fanfictions #chris evans fanfics

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absolutepokemontrash · 4 years ago

Text

MC is Half Demon and Blah Blah Blah-

Time for the Group Retreat!

Part 1 Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Lessons 5-6 Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

I’m quite hyped for this one, ladies, gents, and esteemed readers! For simplicity’s sake, since this is before M!MC and A!MC arrive, L!MC will go back to being referred to as just MC. Enjoy the Headcanons!

Since the previous Underground Tomb incident ended much less violently, Lucifer is now more worried than angry about MC’s rampant shennaniganery.

Like... his kid was poking holes in his totally foolproof “Your cow-uncle went to live on a farm in the human world” story. What if MC somehow got into the attic and got hurt?!

It didn’t help that they were still in this weird phase of their father/child relationship. On one hand, Lucifer obviously cares for his kid, and his kid likes him... but it’s also only been less than three months and we all know how emotionally constipated Lucifer is.

MC’s also getting REAL sus of all the secrets their dear old dad is keeping... doesn’t help that they STILL haven’t went up into the attic.

Anyhoo~ the announcement for the retreat was a barrel of laughs.

“I’m proposing, a group retreat!”

Everyone met Diavolo’s announcement with the exact same confused reaction. It’s like the entire assembly hall was doing the ‘Guy Blinking’ meme.

“A... group retreat?” Lucifer repeated slowly. “For what reason exactly, Lord Diavolo?”

The Crown Prince was giddy with excitement as he explained. “MC told me about their middle school overnight trip and it sounded like it would be quite fun!”

Simeon, Luke, MC, and Solomon were all seated next to each other in the ‘exchange student seats of less importance’. Luke leaned over and whispered a question to MC.

“Why are you so friendly with the crown prince?”

MC smirked and shrugged. “Lucifer had the Demon-Flu and couldn’t go meet with Lord Diavolo last week so I went for him. Lord Diavolo’s surprisingly bad at Connect Four but has really good luck in Snakes and Ladders.”

Luke’s jaw dropped in complete and utter shock and horror.

“We’re playing CandyLand and the Game of Life next time, want to come?” MC added.

“Play CandyLand... with him..?” Luke looked at Diavolo, who was still explaining his plan for the retreat, then looked back at MC. “I’ll only go to shield you from his corrupting influence.”

“Yeah... Corrupting...” MC had to hold back a laugh at the thought of Diavolo, who during MC’s visit lit up like a Christmas tree upon being called ‘Dia’ and believed that Mood Rings were the greatest human invention ever, being a corrupting influence.

“MC! Torture dungeon or no!?” MC was snapped out of their conversation by Mammon shouting at them from his seat.

“What?”

“Do ya think there’s a torture dungeon under the castle, or not?”

“I’m not sure,” MC turned to Diavolo. “Lord Diavolo, is there a torture dungeon under the Demon Lord’s Castle?”

There is in fact, no torture dungeon. Presumably...

Everyone packed up and headed out to the Demon Lord’s Castle!

The fabulous seven all broke several speed limits and traffic laws in order to be there early. Listen, they had to get there before Purgatory Hall, it was a matter of pride.

Besides, what’s the Royal guard going to do? Arrest six of the seven rulers of hell and a kid? Ha. No. Not when Diavolo controls their paychecks.

The rooming situation remained the same, Asmo, Simeon, and MC were roomed together, and MC got to watch Asmo get psychologically profiled by Simeon. It was truly a sight to behold.

MC was nice enough to assure Asmo that they really liked him and thought he was very sweet.

Asmo, not used to being complimented on his personality, almost started openly weeping.

So, the tour of the Demon Lord’s Castle began! Asmo got yelled at by his ex in the painting and the usual batch of idiots got sucked into the catacombs under the castle.

Lucifer wasn’t terribly sure how or if he should express his concern for MC being stuck in the labyrinth.

All these new fatherly feelings of worry are very very odd. He didn’t worry this much for Satan, mainly because Satan was usually the threat.

Even as a baby...

Lucifer found himself checking his DDD every few minutes to see if MC had texted or called from wherever the painting dragged them to, never mind that if they did text he’d hear the phone ding.

“Lucifer, don’t worry too much,” Diavolo patted Lucifer on the shoulder, a bright smile on his face. “Your brothers and MC will be perfectly fine! There’s nothing too dangerous in the catacombs that they wouldn’t be able to take care of.”

Resigning himself to the fact that MC was under the care of his last choices for babysitting, Lucifer put away his DDD. “I know they’ll be fine, but I’m not overly pleased with the situation.” He shot a glare at Helene in the portrait, who rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“Lucifer worrying about someone, I’m truly, genuinely shocked.” Hearing Satan’s attempt at goading him, Lucifer, flawless demon that he is, resisted the urge to throw his DDD at his brother.

“Quiet, Satan.”

————

“WHY THE FUCK IS A SNAKE DOWN HERE?!”

“ITS HENRY 1.0!”

“YEAH THAT REALLY CLEARS STUFF UP, LEVI!”

MC and Levi continued their screaming match as the group ran for dear life from a giant snake.

Yeah... nothing the brothers couldn’t handle... sure, Lord Diavolo...

They made it out of the scary catacombs... don’t worry.

Lucifer did that parent-thing where he cleaned the catacomb dust off MC’s face with a napkin.

Yay! Parenting!

Failed pillow fight attempt #1 happened that evening. Because Mammon was obsessed with being the fun-uncle and saw his brothers encroaching on his place as favourite uncle.

MC doesn’t know how to break it to him that he’ll probably always be the favourite uncle and he doesn’t have to be such a dumbass to keep his spot.

Scavenger hunt went on as canon dictates.

Asmo had his diva tantrum and stormed off, but MC also wanted to win so they didn’t go after him.

Clearly expecting someone to go beg him to come back, Asmo was very annoyed when no one went after him.

“Um, helloooo? Anyone going to comfort me~?”

“Nope.”

“Well I don’t want your comfort anyway, SOLOMON.”

It was very close, L!MC insisted their loss came from sabotage. No evidence was found but just LOOK at Satan’s face.

Time for the Formal Dance~

If you’re wondering why Luke didn’t say anything when MC was suddenly poofed into their demon form, you’re assuming that Mammon wasn’t in on the “let’s prank the chihuahua” plan.

“Mammon..? Is MC behind you?”

“Nope! Why?”

MC was able to get to the other side of the ballroom with Luke none the wiser! Hell yeah, nothing like screwing with your friend!

So it’s canon that Lucifer is like, a solid 20/10, therefore MC is ADORABLE. What I’m saying is, some of the younger demons asked them to dance.

Asmo was also being MC’s hype man, which was very nice of him. Mammon also tried to give advice on how to be cool and suave. Beel was there for moral support.

“Alright kiddo, you need to be aloof and mysterious! People love aloof and mysterious, that’s why I’m so popular.”

“Don’t listen to him, MC. He flew into a wall as a kid and it killed all his brain cells. Just be proper but not snooty, sweet but not saccharine, friendly but not annoying,”

“Ask them if they want to share some of the hors d’oeuvres.”

“Okay, first, aloof and mysterious are the last words I would ever use to describe you, Mammon. Second, Asmo I have no clue what you’re asking me to do. Third... Beel that’s the best advice I’ve received in recent memory.”

None of that mattered anyway because MC got swarmed with dance offers.

“Well,” MC smirked and held out their hand at the demon that was bold enough to ask them to dance first. “I admire the confidence.”

The demon’s smile brightened, then dropped completely when their gaze drifted behind MC. “I uh... on second thought... I’m gonna...”

MC’s potential dance partners all quickly scattered to the snack table. The half demon growled and turned around to see their father acting like he didn’t just scare away MC’s groupies.

“Father! What was that for?!” MC huffed, Lucifer rolled his eyes and grabbed MC’s wrist and began to pull them away from the dance floor.

“You’re too young to dance.”

“That’s crazy! They looked like they were my age.” MC protested, their wings fluttering in annoyance.

“Even if they looked to be your age, MC, they’re hundreds of years older.” Lucifer said calmly.

“What about that equivalent age stuff you told me about? Like how Luke is hundreds of years old but by angel/human standards he’s technically younger than me?”

“That doesn’t matter right now.” Lucifer lightly pushed MC towards the hallway that led back to their room.

“But I want to dance with someone!” MC felt their wings involuntarily fluff up.

Lucifer turned and smiled at his dear little brat, crouching slightly to get to their level. “Not on my watch.”

MC’s face was literally this: >:0

Lucifer is out here being the dad in every comedy that involves someone bringing home their partner to meet their parents.

MC was banished to their room, they spent their time angrily reading the manga they had packed.

When Levi escaped the party slightly later MC grilled him for details of what went on after they left.

“Nothing too interesting... except... um...”

“Spit it out, Levi!”

“...lrddiavlondlucferdnced”

“I can’t understand you, stop mumbling.”

“Lord Diavolo and Lucifer danced together...”

“...”

“I MISSED THAT?!”

So yes, MC’s desire to get a picture of Lucifer sleeping stems from VENGEANCE!

How DARE their father send MC up to their room and make them miss their OTP dancing together!?

So they call up their troupe of idiots and get ready to go be menaces to society.

MC also invites along Asmo because he seemed like he could use the adventure.

And because MC couldn’t plan the prank without Asmo noticing so it was better to just implicate him as well...

“Grrr...”

MC brightened and clapped their hands. “I know that growl!”

“It’s not my stomach, I packed snacks.” MC couldn’t see this, considering the room was pitch black (it must’ve been some kind of magic because demons have excellent night vision), but Beel waved a bag of chips in the air and got to eating.

“No, I’m not talking about your stomach, Beel.” MC skipped towards the source of the growling despite Mammon and Levi’s pleas for them to stop.

Ah! There he was!

“Cerberus!” MC cooed, the three headed dog stopped growling and barked happily. “Whose a good boy? Is it you?”

Cerberus let lose a bark that would probably make anyone crap their pants, but MC giggled and kept petting him. “Yeah! You’re the good boy! You like cuddles! Yes you do! Yes you do!”

A flash of light from a camera caused MC to drop their baby talk voice and stare angrily in the direction where the light came from.

“Whoever took that picture better delete it or I’m going to feed you to the dog.”

Cerberus growled in agreement. What a good boy.

“Well, as nice as this is...” Asmo huffed. “We’ve clearly been duped because this is not Lucifer and Diavolo’s room.”

“Oh well!” MC chirped and continued to pet the three headed dog. “Look at the doggy!”

“MC, you’re crazy. Dontcha ever forget that.” Mammon whimpered as Cerberus growled at him.

So yeah, they couldn’t get out of the room, so they ended up opening up the other door and falling into the catacombs like a bunch of lemmings.

Asmo charmed Henry, and they got out of the labyrinth no problem.

Yay! No consequences! Oh no- hi Lucifer.

Lucifer gave them all the mother of all lectures. Satan showed up with the rest of the gang and brought popcorn.

Belphie wasn’t there, okay? Satan needed to be a little shit for him.

Ah yes, the pillow fight... Mammon’s crusade to be the best uncle culminated in a massive pillow fight that ended with MC, Lucifer, and Diavolo standing over everyone’s unconscious bodies.

So they uh... won the pillow fight.

MC couldn’t sleep. They legitimately couldn’t. As exhausting as the pillow fight victory had been, everyone was snoring, and MC was bleary eyed and awake at one in the morning.

They eventually sat up and looked around, Asmo was passed out in a very unflattering position, Solomon was chanting god knows what in his sleep, Levi was half hanging off Simeon’s bed, Simeon and Luke were sleeping like angels (hehehehe-), Beel was in the middle of eating his pillow in his sleep, Mammon appeared to be dreaming about winning the lottery, and Satan was... suspiciously absent.

He was there a minute ago... weird.

Deciding that this wasn’t worth it and they should just go sleep somewhere else, MC got out of bed and avoided stepping on anyone as they vacated the room.

The Demon Lord’s Castle at night could rival the House of Lamentation in terms of overall creepiness. MC had gotten used to the spirits and curses that littered their home, but they had only been to the Demon Lord’s Castle once before, so they were extra careful not to accidentally touch anything. Their stomach rumbled and they frowned.

Damn, they had the midnight munchies... they needed a snack.

MC made their way to the kitchen and on there way, noticed a peculiar room through a half open door. Taking a few steps back to peek into it, they noticed... doors. A lot of doors. And ivy covered steps. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to any of the placements, and the room was... weirdly chilly.

“You can come in if you’d like, MC.”

Barbatos’ voice nearly caused MC to hit a high note that they hadn’t been able to hit since their voice began to change. They straightened out their wrinkled pyjamas and stepped inside.

The butler himself was walking down one of the flights of stairs.

“Um...” Quickly remembering their manners, MC straightened their posture and cleared their throat. “Good evening Barbatos.”

Barbatos smiled and inclined his head in turn. “Good evening to you as well, MC.”

“How did you know it was me outside? You were up there a second ago.” MC asked.

“It’s a part of my powers. I can see possible futures, and I foresaw you passing by my room and getting curious.” Barbatos explained.

“Oh,” MC said, half nodding and continuing to look around. A the sound of a door closing out of MC’s vision made them squeak and look around for the source of the noise. “What was that?!”

“It’s nothing to be worried about.” Barbatos raised his hands in a placating gesture. “These doors in my room are gateways to different timelines and some are gateways into the past of this particular timeline. That was another version of me passing by.”

“Does this... happen often?” MC knitted their eyebrows.

Barbatos hesitated before answering. “Not really. It’s quite rare. Lord Diavolo has expressly forbidden me from using my full powers freely.”

“Ah... makes sense...”

“Now, I believe you came down for snacks?”

MC blinked in surprise. “How did you- oh... the time magic...”

“Yes, the time magic. Now, would you prefer yogurt and fruit, or apples and peanut butter?”

“Yogurt and fruit please!”

I’m sure MC’s knowledge of how Barbie’s room works will totally not come into play later. I’m sure.

Solomon and MC graced the brunch table with their cooking. I think you can guess how it would have turned out if Barbatos hadn’t intervened.

Rest In Peace to Beel’s tastebuds.

Anyway, the rest of the retreat was all fun and good.

MC may or may not have slipped up and called Diavolo ‘Dia’ in front of Lucifer. It would’ve sparked a lecture if Dia’s puppy-like excitement wasn’t so damn adorable.

Lucifer’s got a heart... somewhere... it’s probably all shrivelled up and tiny, but I’m sure it’s there.

Everyone went back home, brought closer together through... pillow fights and surviving Solomon’s cooking I guess..?

Anyway, MC got home, unpacked their stuff, watched Kakegurui with Levi and Mammon, let Asmo paint their nails, made and ate dinner with Beel, continued their piano lessons with Lucifer, and received a 100% fake smile from Satan.

It was a nice day with their new family, MC curled up in their bed and prepared to go to sleep.

“Help me!”

MC lurched upwards in their bed, whipping their head from side to side, trying to find the source of the voice. Their room was completely empty, the perks of being half demon extended to being able to see in the dark. No new smells either, they were alone in the room.

Auditory hallucinations were common before falling asleep after being sleep deprived, creepy, but not too unusual.

“MC!”

Okay- that one couldn’t be ignored. It was common knowledge that the House of Lamentation was definitely haunted in some capacity, but the ghosts never really bothered the demons living inside, MC was partly convinced that some of the ghosts didn’t even notice that the demons were there. So it couldn’t have been a ghost calling their name.

“MC! I need help!”

The voice reverberated through their head, like it was trying to hit every part of their skull to make sure it was at least felt if MC couldn’t hear it. MC massaged their scalp and got out of bed.

The House of Lamentation at night truly lived up to its haunted reputation. Cold, clammy, dark, even by demon standards. No spooky old house was going to scare MC though, they walked down the hall with their head held high.

They walked closer to walls and furniture, knowing that the floor was less likely to creak in those areas. How did they know that? Mammon had told them it worked like a charm. Well, it’d work better for him if he stopped tripping over the furniture and alerting Lucifer.

MC was much more nimble and careful, stepping slowly and lightly around the hallways until they reached the door to the attic. They reached out to clasp their hand around the doorknob, then froze. It smelled like…

Oh no.

MC leapt away from the door like it was rigged to explode if they touched it and practically dove for cover into an alcove. The all too-recent smell of Lucifer’s fancy cologne and the increasing sound of someone coming down the stairs made them clamp their hand over their mouth and crouch down.

What was their father doing up there?

He had said the attic was full of old junk and there was no reason to go up there, so why exactly did he-

The door slammed open and Lucifer stomped down the hallway back towards his room, MC presumed. They were about to let out a sigh of relief when the footsteps paused. MC felt their heart drop right into their gut when they heard the footsteps coming back in their direction.

What were they going to say to him when he found them? ‘Sorry! This isn’t where the bathrooms are!’ The last thing MC wanted was to add to their father’s ever growing list of stresses. MC was totally responsible and grown-up, their father didn’t need to worry.

MC clamped their eyes shut and tried to slow their heart rate. Demons were beings of darkness and shadow, they could blend in quite easily. They took a deep breath, cleared their head, and felt the shadows of the hallway shift and cover them like a blanket.

Lucifer’s footsteps stopped, MC heard a tired sigh, then the footsteps started up again, this time in the direction of his room.

They allowed themselves a sigh of relief before relieving themselves of their hiding space and opening the door leading to the attic staircase.

If the rest of the House of Lamentation was considered clammy, cold, and foreboding, the attic staircase was that multiplied by a factor of twelve. MC felt themselves shudder involuntarily when they stepped closer to the staircase. Every primal part of their brain was telling them to turn around and walk away, but one tiny part was holding them back. They placed their foot on the first step, waiting for any kind of resistance, nothing other than the feeling of passing through invisible cobwebs.

“MC?”

Upon hearing their name, MC craned their neck to try and get a look at what could be waiting for them at the top of the stairs.

“Are you coming, or not?”

The cascade of warning sirens that began to blare in MC’s head went ignored as they continued to scale the staircase.

When they reached the final step, they were met with a long hallway, with a single door on the right side of the wall.

“H-hello?” MC tried to instill some force into their voice, but it still ended up quavering a little.

“Down here.” Someone knocked on the wall next to the door, almost causing MC to jump.

Oh. Oh no. MC stood straight in front of the door, and when they saw who was looking back at them they nearly passed out.

“Belphegor..?”

Belphegor’s eyes flashed as he gave MC a once over. His eyes narrowed when his gaze snapped to MC’s. The analytical expression melted into a lazy grin.

“That’s me,” he said softly. “Nice to finally meet you, MC.”

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