#Also him losing is also accurate as far as im concerned.
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cozymochi · 19 days ago
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OH MY G— THIS WAS WHAT YOU WERE DOING?!! 😭😭
❝ The Lionguard Gambit ❞
Nyoka Wadjet x Prefect Reader
The prefect requires some help. The snakeman will not provide it without a catch. There is chess, and a more harrowing "game" is maybe played too.
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babes, bros, and nonbinary beaus, I present to you the highly anticipated ''x reader'' ficlet for @cozymochi and @oddberryshortcake 's slitheringly handsome oc!
because let's be so real, we all down bad for that snake boi.
(and happy christmas you two dears! <3 I hope you do enjoy this and that it lifts your spirits fghsjk and i am so sorry if he is wildly ooc,, I tried my best 😭)
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“I know a guy for that.”
"Yeah. I'm kinda... I'm kind of here because you do, actually."
Nyoka Wadjet did not look amused.
You folded your fingers together and regarded the venomous beastman as passively and politely as you were able.
"Look. I know since we've been sticking around in Savanaclaw lately, Grim has been pushing your boundaries here and there. So if you help me, I'll make sure he doesn't bother you again like that... for two whole weeks."
Air pushed slowly through his nostrils. He was regarding you more seriously now.
Approaching the very allusive, and admittedly rather frightful, student in order to find somebody who could counterfeit thaumarks was perhaps not the most self-preserving decision you'd made. But it was imperative to a growing idea you had on how to deal with you and your friends' latest Azul troubles.
"Three weeks." You sweetened the deal.
Nyoka's eyes narrowed.
"He landed on my head." was stated factually, like the action's offense spoke for itself.
That had indeed happened. Grim was not a often creature of preserving personal space.
"A month?" You tried.
"A year."
Well that wasn't happening. "Um. I could offer two months, maybe." People really had a tendency to overestimate your level of control over that little (lovable) demon.
It seemed like that was not a favorable compromise. Nyoka's attention dipped from you and moved to the room's center where he had previously been seated.
Your stare followed his towards the shining, porcelain chess set readied and untouched at the low-standing table. Sparking a different tactic.
"Or, maybe you could play me for it?"
His gaze swung lazily back at you. Something about the action, and the hooded way his eyes looked, put little tingles along your arms.
"I promise I actually know how to play." You said, in case he was doubting your authenticity.
Movement caught your attention behind his legs, and a second later, his long tail came swishing side to side. A myriad of scales glittering under the sunroof's light.
A somersault happened inside your stomach, but was ignored in favor of catching Nyoka's next words.
“I like to be on the winning side.”
"Is that you doubting yourself against me?" You pushed.
He tipped his chin up slightly, a sun-flare running over his glasses.
“One battle doesn’t lose a war, prefect.”
The message was clear. Challenge Accepted.
He waved a gloved hand, inviting you to sit, which you obliged.
"Alright." Nyoka told you, easing himself gracefully onto the opposing seat. "If you beat me, I will connect you with my friend. But if I beat you, you will forbid your familiar from invading my presence for the remainder of the year."
Oh dear. He was dead-set on that, wasn't he.
Your eyes met. The colors in his clashed your own.
These were desperate times.
"Deal."
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The first few minutes of the game were done mostly in silence.
While it was true you knew how to play (at least, back in your home world you had) it'd been awhile since you'd done so for real, and there was a necessary amount of concentration needed in the first half while you eased back into things.
Nyoka, naturally, was a hard player from the start.
Though some of the plays and tactics he tried helped along in jogging your memory of the nuances, there was still some clear rust in your play, whereas he was all refined sharpness.
Poising in ponder, then striking fast.
Quick as a cobra.
The game did not take long to be leant in his favor.
And the silence was becoming brutal.
It was very quiet in the room, which made sense as to why Nyoka liked to frequent here. And it wasn't unsettling.
That was not the issue.
The distress came because in its peace, it caused the only sound you could latch onto in the whole room was the slow, deep, even breaths leaving the man's chest.
Slow in, slower out, over and over.
Each breath led your concentration to phase in and out of the game with it.
When you snapped back to, you found you just lost one of your knights. Rather viciously.
"You're really subtle with your attacks." You noted sardonically, mostly just to say anything.
There was a shake to your hands as they moved your king.
Nyoka watched you fidget.
In reply, there was a smooth counter of; "Hmph. Like a drop to the head."
You wetted your lips. Moved a pawn. "Grim's harmless, just very personable."
"He is lucky I didn't bite him." Nyoka murmured.
You were still a little lost to thought when this was said, so your ears failed to detect if its inflection held jest or sarcasm.
"Really? I figured you too elegant to go around handling annoyances with your teeth," Slipped out of your mouth before sense caught up to it.
His eyes slid at you. Pinned you there.
Something in your gut flipped.
"I should bite you, Prefect."
The game, and entire room, might have disappeared, but right then you couldn't have been sure.
He spoke it low, and it rolled out of his throat in a way that sent heat down your back. "But I think I wouldn't get the taste out of my mouth for days."
The heat became infernal.
Your head turned away, cheek meeting the forgiving cold of the sofa, desperate to pretend those words weren't the most charged thing you'd experienced in your time here.
"Calm yourself," He intoned, and maybe it was your racing mind, but you almost thought he had the gall to sound amused. "Any venom I have is reserved for other targets."
Oh, you were anything but calm. But there was a bell ringing in the distance, another later hour revealing itself.
It was getting late, and you still had a chess game at stake.
Nyoka exhaled, a low and long huff that makes you at once certain you won't be able to stand for a long while after this.
It felt like a lot of things were at stake right now.
From infernal to charred, you were a wreck at this point.
Forcing your focus to cooperate, the board came back to life before you and a realization was brought with it.
"Finding it difficult to think?" His words were edged with a sultry hiss.
You steeled. Made your move fast. Trying to keep your face unchanging.
Nyoka fluttered his long fingers atop his pieces, calculating, before finally resting atop his queen. And took your pawn.
A sudden sense of victory quelled all other emotions within you, and with haste you moved your knight into a position that seemed vulnerable.
Taking the bait, Nyoka moved his queen back where it was before.
You strike, using your bishop to fly across the board for the winning move. Exclaiming "Check!" and knocking porcelain against porcelain. Hands springing up, elated. "Hah! I did it! The Lionguard Gambit!"
Nyoka looked up at you fast, then moved aback. Expression one you couldn't define. "The... What."
You remain as you are. Enjoying the simmer of your victory.
Thanking the gods, the Seven for having provided the luck that led you to stumble across that move in a late-night library study one evening.
The snakeman stared at you a long time.
The longer that the seconds ticked by, the less sure of yourself you became. Fearful there had been a miscalculation or premature celebration.
You hadn't done it wrong, had you?
And then, Nyoka said; "...Lionheart Gambit?"
A rush of burning sensation to your ears coaxed your arms into a deflate.
"Oh." That was embarrassing. "Well- you know what I meant! My point is, I won!"
"So you did." He relented, sparing you by moving on from your blunder.
It had felt like your mispronunciation had sort of rattled him, for whatever reason, but that was a mystery for another time.
“Some battles can turn a war’s tides, snake eyes.” You said, tone lilting once more coy.
Nyoka lowered himself into the spine of his chair with crossing arms.
You waited. "...Um. So. Nyoka?"
"Don't get fretful, prefect, I withhold my ends of bargains. I'll introduce you to the person you seek tomorrow."
You felt a press of disappoint, but relented that it had gotten late. You hadn't realized when the sun's shine had been replaced with the softer lights of the overhead lanterns.
Rising from the seat, knees mercifully only wobbling a little, you offered him thanks and began to make the - perhaps a little purposefully slowed - trek towards the exit.
"Well. Goodnight, Nyoka."
"Hmm."
"You not going to sleep?"
"In a while."
“Ah. Putting in some extra practice for when you get a good chess partner?” You tossed playfully over a shoulder.
“That is not an issue.”
Nyoka rolled his fingers into a fist and set his chin on it. He did not look back at you, but somehow, the heat in your chest returned all the same.
And beyond noise of the door shutting after you, you caught six words that kept that heat burning low in your chest for the whole night following;
“I know a prefect for that.”
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fin.
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inventedfangirling · 1 year ago
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BEST of BL's in 2023 [Thai edition]
(more accurately my favourites from 2023, so that i have something to show for the 100s of hours i spent watching them lmao)
I Feel You Linger In The Air - Head & Shoulders above (almost) every single piece of queer media i've ever watched. Khun Yai and Jom will be forever icons. That drunk poem confession will NEVER be topped. Also LESBIANS AHHHHHH also the way the show explored intimacy AHHH just end meeee
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2. Moonlight Chicken - Aof strikes again. Gave me Uncle Jim, Heart, Li Ming and my baby boy Gaipa- the music, the cinematography, the writing, the found fckin family - i will recommend it to EVERY one on the planet if i could.
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3. Be My Favourite- I did not expect to enjoy this show as much as i did. I loved what they were tryna say. I LOVED the queer undertones in EVERYTHING. if not for the asexual erasure and Not being an absolute asshole this would have been quite the perfect show. And man is Gawin so darn sculpted perfection, LOOK AT THAT FACE, how to not admire!? Also Pearmai my beloved. AND THAT POEM in episode 11 ARGHHH
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4. Bed Friend - I know this was a polarizing series in a lot of ways and I agree to some of the complaints raised BUTTTTTT NET MY FRENZ NET! How am i supposed to not melt into a complete puddle watching King pretend to not be absolutely in love with Uea, and treating him like the babygirl he is, when he looks like THAT. I'm but a mere mortal.
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5. La Pluie - I kinda liked the show and disliked it in equal amounts. Saengtai annoyed me quite a LOT towards the end BUT his brother Sangtien - Suar Kritsanaphong had me in the palm of his hand. Him and his kiss with Lomfon is etched firmly in my brain. It HAD to be on this list.
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6. Only Friends - Gawd. The Promise. The Promise of it all. Thats what maddens me THE MOST. There was just SO MUCH that they could have done. Even if they stuck with a lot of their similar choices i would have still put it higher up on the list if they hadn't undone all the good work they did in the final episode. I couldnt even bring myself to rewatch anything from this one cos of how disappointingly it ended. That being said - FirstKhao KILLED it as usual, i CANNOT wait for their next one, BOSTON deserved better and my MVP- Mark Pakin AHHH i NEED him on EVERY SHOW EVER but also in ways concerning to me GAWD WHAT A TALENT AND WHAT A FACE.
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7. Laws of Attraction - Charn you guys. Charn and his utterly deranged expressions and his even more deranged ex. And ofc everything else the show offered. The drama. The mystery. The family. The romance. THE LESBIANS!!!!? Few things not to love. Especially the finale with all the domestic husbanding going on. Precious af.
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8. Hidden Agenda - Far too much nonsensical plotlessness going on here for this to claim this position BUT i'm just a girl watching Joong swoon over his man and losing it in the corridor and proceeding to do that myself cos man he's so damn good in these kinda scenes. I think he'd be good in more serious ones too but I would much prefer it if it was with somebody who could offer more than Dunk (no shade he very cute himself)
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POTENTIAL FAVS
The following is a list of shows i loved/liked it a LOT but still watching/running so I can't fully judge
(in no particular order except the first one cos who am i to put an aof show not at the top of any list)
Last Twilight [BEST THING EVER I AM WHOLLY AND IRRETRIEVABLY IN LOVE IM GONNA REWATCH IT LIKE ITS MY JOB PLS I NEED IT TO STICK THE LANDING SO BAD]
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Love in Translation - episode 4 what a beauty, one of my fav episodes of any BL in 2023 ever- just LOVED the whole fake date thing - it was EVERYTHING
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Wedding Plan - Leads are cute. Lesbians are cuter. Made me laugh. Also CUTENESS hello
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Night Dream - Who doesn't love a long unrequited but actually totally requited love story?
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The Sign - nothing i can ever say is gonna be enough to encompass just how mind-blowing this series is from concept to execution to CGI to costumes to the gorgeous leads with fckin electric chemistry AND the PINING and the will they won't they arhhhh- TOP TIER STUFF
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Cooking Crush - i went into this with minimal expectations, the trailer didnt do much for me BUT oh my gawd i had SO MUCH FUN with each episode, i laughed SO much and i am very much looking forward to the rest of it
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Cherry Magic - TayNew back again together. Karan and his gorgeous existence. Loved the og. The trope where one believes they are hard to love & someone who loves them like it’s breathing- its literally made for this show and i am SUPER excited where it goes. PLS PLS PLS let them keep the aroace character aroace PLEASE!?!?!?
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scalproie · 9 months ago
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Im in writing mood but i dont think i could work that into a story so.
In the tekken hades au, Hell Embodied IS Kazumi but not really or more accurately, not anymore:
Quick lore/mechanic recap: during a run, Jin has a chance to go meet Azazel via ominous purple crystals randomly spawning and get the optional boss fight Devil Jin, which during the first encounter unlock the devil fighting style, and the next encounters allow Jin to get or level up devil style moves. Other than that, Azazel has a story sidequest involving "Kazumi" (basically the Chaos and Nyx equivalent).
Basically during that story sidequest, we get Hell Embodied/"Kazumi" backstory and lore. It was originally a place that came to be because of Azazel's influence but it was slightly closer to the surface than where Azazel, a primordial entity older than most gods, resides (Alex is also from where Azazel is from and that's why theyre both reptilian looking but that's another story).
Eventually it developped a curiosity for what was above and assumed a corporeal form to wander up there (and that's when it added she/her to its pronouns)
She attracted the attention of the new God King Heihachi that just finished usurping his father's throne and he eventually asked to wed her. Initially she intended to use him to gain power and control over this surface world but down the line she developped real feelings for him. And they had a son :)
Eventually Heihachi found out the truth about her nature and, feeling betrayed and wholly believing she did not in fact, love him, he stripped her of her corporeal form and status of goddess and drove her back to her "real" place, aka the middle ground between the primordial dark and the surface world, aka Hell, where she would be utterly incapable of leaving, not even getting the chance to stay a few moments up there like its son and grandson (And Heihachi could do that since his status of God King gave him the authority to do so.)
So that was one way to permanently "kill" a god: by forcefully making everyone forget about them, they are no longer a person. So as far as Heihachi and everyone else was concerned, Kazumi was officially dead.
(Another way is to keep a god in a constant state of dying, so to speak, because leaving a god for dead will only insure they return eventually. Not having the authority of the God King, thats what Lars, Lee and Kazuya did to Heihachi: after Kaz defeated him, they put him at the center of the earth, letting the deadly magma of the place do the job, and bind him there so he could not escape. Lars feels bad about it but it needed to be done for the good of everyone, Lee was like "Oh No! Anyway..." at that, and Kazuya would've thrown a party if it was smth he did. And was all too happy to let the memory of his father be buried forever and to never talk about him again.)
(Young gods can die permanently bc they didnt get enough time to cement themselves into the world. Smth smth if a chick cannot break its egg's shell it will die without being born. Wink wink)
Heihachi kept their child around initially for the same reason Kazuya will keep Jin eons later: he reminded him of his mother. And for the same reason Kazuya will treat Jin, Heihachi came to resent Kazuya: he installed a legacy of parricide by "killing" Jinpachi the Sky God, reducing him to a concept, so to secure his throne (but lying to himself as him making sure his son is a worthy heir), Heihachi did the whole heaven cliff tossing to Kazuya.
"Kazumi" found the body of its/her son and yknow the rest.
As for the reason Kazuya doesnt recognize her, well, for starters, the corporeal form of Kazumi was her human design, but Hell Embodied (who it/she just is now) looks more like a ethereal ghostly version of devil Kazumi. Another reason is that Kaz is a stubborn man who adamently refuses to aknowledge his past pain, be it losing his mother or his father in general.
If Jin confront "Kazumi" after Azazel spilled the beans, it will make Jin promise to not reveal anything to Kazuya, for a multitudes of reasons.
Jin relunctantly agrees but he does call Hell Embodied "grandma" when he's on his own, and he does feel closer to her now.
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arcofacatboy · 11 months ago
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is it weird to say i feel like i'm mourning arc of a scythe? like it'd be one thing if the book was actually just not that great n whatnot like harry potter but. the book is actually good. i almost wonder if neil tripped and fell into writing a book with good commentary when he seems to be so incapable of understanding those same things
its not that its nessecarily that its just good, perse, but it made me want to read again. i felt like this series was meant for me, and it permanently affected my taste in books
sorry if it seems like im venting in your askbox its just. im kinda just wondering if my feelings are just felt by me or if others understand
No it’s okay - I’m gonna break some of this down with my own thoughts where I can.
First of all, I can’t really say how you should label your feelings about Neal and his books. I’ve personally tried to avoid using words like mourning or grieving due to the context of why I’m retracting support from Neal in the first place. People, children, are being ruthlessly murdered every day. Me being upset that my (now former) favorite author is completely apathetic towards the victims of genocide will never compare to the grief, pain, and trauma that the people of Gaza and Palestine have been made to face for months now. That doesn’t mean you can’t label your feelings that way! That’s just something I try to keep in mind when talking about Neal myself.
The reason I shifted the focus of this blog, while keeping its original branding, is because I want to at least try to help in a way Neal is refusing to - making his fans aware of the absolutely inhumane treatment of Palestinians at the hands of the Israeli government. Like Neal, I’m by no means an expert on… anything going on right now. I try my absolute best to spread accurate information, but that doesn’t make me a professional or expert. I’m not Israeli, and I’m not Palestinian. I’m a white person living in the relative safety of the USA, who isn’t going to be the target of antisemitism or Islamophobia. I should not be anybody’s primary source of information. But, unlike Neal, I feel like I’m at least doing something, and I want to keep trying to do as much as I can. I’m not trying to one-up Neal here, this isn’t a competition - but I’m saying that all the excuses he’s used for saying nothing could easily be applied to me, and many of the people who have spoken out against him. And yet, here we are.
I haven’t reread Arc Of A Scythe with knowing the additional context that Neal is okay with being completely silent on a genocide, but I have been rereading Dry while keeping that in mind, and, yeah. Neal makes a lot of parallels to real-world crises in that book, and how governments, people in power, and regular people treat them - with where I am in the book right now, everyone not affected by the Tap-Out seems to be completely apathetic and not concerned, because the Tap-Out hasn’t made their life any worse… so it can just be swept under the rug while the people of Southern California lose access to potable water. Literally most of my notes are pointing out how hypocritical Neal is being with his commentary - he’s doing things right now that he portrays as bad things to do in the book. The most egregious example so far is linked here.
So, I can’t say why Neal has taken the stance that he has right now. There’s no point in speculating if he was always this performative in his activism, or if he’s fallen into the Israeli propaganda trap, because it ultimately doesn’t matter. He’s being ignorant and harmful, and he deserves to be condemned for that either way.
You’re not alone in how you feel, I think - a lot of former/current AOAS fans have been really thrown for a loop by Neal’s shit. We have to move forward from here, but no one person can tell you how to do that. (Also, none of this was me trying to be rude or disrespectful, so I’m sorry if it came off that way. One adjustment I’ve had to make for this blog is not talking like a YouTube shitpost, so my tone probably seems a little different from posts I made pre-“Neal being a colonialist sympathizer”.)
P.S about the Harry Potter thing: I’m not sure what you mean by “not that great”, but I agree with you there. There’s so much “not that great” stuff in Harry Potter that the average person doesn’t even know about - the entire franchise is rooted in these really weird ideas about race, class, and a million other things, so it’s bad beyond “oh the goblins are antisemitic caricatures and the author is a terf”. Those things are still extremely bad, don’t get me wrong. But if you want to know more about how bigotry permeates into every part of the franchise - not just the movies, books, and Hogwarts Legacy! - I recommend this video essay by Lily Simpson. It’s ten hours long, but definitely worth a watch. (Yes I did watch the entire thing over like, a week this summer.)
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burningvelvet · 1 year ago
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okay more thoughts on pride and prejudice as i begin chapter 39
1 i want to see lady catherine, mrs. bennet, and miss bingley in the same room together on a podcast panel debating things like marriage and childrearing etc but i dont think the world would be able to handle it
2 i’m interpreting mr. darcy as either being neurodivergent (possibly autistic) and/or having severe social anxiety — and this is really informing my entire perspective of his character (as a core theme to his character is being socially understood/misunderstood). however, i know its still very controversial to “diagnose” fictional characters and i don’t want to come off that way — but historical complications aside (the field of psychology didn’t exist back then how it does now) it’s really obvious to see that he’s not neurotypical, although i don’t know if this is an accepted thing in the austen world though!
3 i’m not buying that mr. darcy’s letter was only 2 pages long. 3 pages minimum with tiny handwriting maybe.
4 this entire novel really highlights the importance of social communication more than anything imo
5 mr. collins is fucking hilarious and his interactions with elizabeth are so accurate/relatable of what it’s like to deal with oblivious men as a female, esp. men who dont know how to take a hint — i was actually laughing out loud through his entire proposal sequence, especially at the line where it says elizabeth is trying hard not to laugh too. so familiar.
6 i wish we could see more of charles i actually like him — i also like colonel fitzwilliam and kind of wanted him to marry elizabeth - its kind of hilarious how casual the topic of marriage is with people you’ve just met & i really want to read more about regency history on marriage specifically now to figure out how much is embellished for satire purposes & how much is true to life
7 i have many thoughts on wickham but thats for a separate post
8 from what little i’ve read about p&p analysis/consensus so far, it seems mrs bennet and some other characters have already been torn to shreds over lit history to the point that its become more common to defend them & mrs bennet in particular, which i understand bc she’s supposed to be a satire on women of the time period but of course her concerns are valid and there are real economic reasons for her actions and societal norms that pertain to them. i’ve also read that it’s common for people to prefer mr bennet over his wife and to pit them against each other which can lead into misogyny & i can see this. however (im sure the bennet family ends up happy at the end, but at this point in the story) i think there are valid reasons for these interpretations which lead people to like mr bennet more than mrs bennet. after the ordeal with collins i really lost respect for mrs bennet for threatening to disown eliza & treating her so harshly, and i gained respect for mr bennet for sticking by eliza. i continuously defended mrs bennet and her behavior up until the collins proposal. i understand she’s desperate for eliza to marry so that she doesn’t become destitute etc. but mr collins simply isnt an ideal husband
9 eliza’s feelings on her friend marrying collins are so sad and relatable of how all of us feel when we watch a friend or loved one enter a shitty relationship and/or betray themselves or lose a part of their personality + the idea of having to mourn your friend especially upon growing up etc. but particularly as it relates to the lonely woman’s experience of finding one’s friends starting to center males & prioritize romance over friendship the older you get.
hope some of this is semi-intelligible - i save the grammar for my real essays - but felt like rambling
i think in my last post i was spelling “bennet” as “bennett” so i apologize for that lol - pls dont kill me janeites, i’m new here!!!
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tonydaddingham · 1 year ago
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I was debating whether or not the Omelas theory and Crowley knowing Jesus would be relevant to S3. And then they released that set of pictures with not just Aziraphale as Mary, but Crowley as crucified Jesus: Arguably the ULTIMATE scapegoat. Thus tying my two questions together. Hmmm...
yours is the second ask ive gotten about those photos, anon (and other anon, i promise i will answer you!!!) and frankly i still don't fully know what to make of this!!!✨
i do think omelas is at the very least has or is going to have some general narrative influence or inspiration on GO, even if it's not even directly related to metatron's coffee order... in any case, im glad that it may feature because i remember loving it when i read it years ago! couple of favourite (and potentially relevant?) quotes, because why not:
"Their tears at the bitter injustice dry when they begin to perceive the terrible justice of reality, and to accept it."
"But to praise despair is to condemn delight, to embrace violence is to lose hold of everything else."
"Happiness is based on just discrimination of what is necessary, what is neither necessary nor destructive, and what is destructive."
as for crowley's part in it; well, im not sure. we know that in GO!canon that crowley essentially replaced the devil (as described in matthew, mark, luke etc.) as the tempter of jesus, in that he showed jesus the kingdoms of the world (ie. the third temptation and representative of tempting jesus into the dereliction of god). so, we could possibly surmise that crowley also tempted him into eating and into essentially killing himself to test god's love (by preventing it).
well, we know crowley has done those first two temptations before, right? even if the context isn't the same, it is aptly mirrored in s2:
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but tbh, it could be that crowley never actually tempted jesus in GO!canon with the first two temptations (ie biblical texts misreport it), or that the interactions were not temptations and instead was misconstrued niceness ("his travel opportunities were limited"), or it could be that crowley is just that indeed a knob sometimes and his recount of the third temptation is not strictly accurate in sentiment as he himself reports it (ie. unreliable narrator). personally, id like to think the second option, given the potential link* between crowley and jesus as scapegoats in different but mirroring scenarios.
either way, his depiction as jesus being crucified is intriguing. if we take the imagery that crowley narratively mirrors jesus, we could arrive at the conclusion that crowley himself was a scapegoat. ive discussed the scapegoat thing more in some other posts, and more specifically along the lines of the old testament depiction of the scapegoat origin, but fuck it, let's chat about it again.
however, i have kinda gotten stuck re: that crowley image - if we take the new testament allegory of the scapegoat (ie the crucifixion), then that would suggest to me a couple of narrative points as concerns crowley's fall:
that crowley was blasphemous (potentially true given his comment pre-fall, "if i were in charge...")
that whoever passed his sentence was (if you consider the gospel of mark re: pontius pilate) originally merciful, but bent to the will of 'the people' (👀 at god and metatron)
but may also have refused to pass the sentence directly (if you consider the gospel of matthew) and instead turned crowley over to someone else to be condemned (double 👀 at god and metatron)
crowley may have fallen for a higher purpose - ie: used as the scapegoat (as jesus died to bring humanity back to righteousness/absolve humanity of sin - and would track with omelas), but we ought to consider that other angels fell too
crowley rose again after falling (which, yeah, he did - presumably into the garden of eden - but none of the fallen, as far as we are aware, died?).
none of the above is impossible, but im not entirely convinced. the above to me would strongly suggest that this scenario would better fit lucifer's narrative anyway? or maybe a bit of both? neil has wiped the possibility of crowley having been/being lucifer (rip), and so if lucifer was indeed the first prince of heaven (as neil has confirmed) and fell first to become satan... where would crowley fit in with the above? it almost seems like it's a bit too main-character-ish in that particular part of the hypothetical narrative for this allegory to fit crowley specifically.
this is where instead i feel like the scapegoat story in old testament texts might be a better parallel. leviticus says that god commanded the israelites to once a year perform a ceremony that would symbolise jesus' own later sacrifice. this was in the form of aaron sacrificing a bull as a burnt offering to atone for his own sins, and then to cast a lot on two other goats - one goat would be sacrificed as a sin offering on behalf of the temple (tabernacle), and the other would be spared but cast into the wilderness carrying the sins of the people, never to return. these two goats together represented the sacrifice and atonement for sin, even if only one was killed.
(@everyone, i think ive read the above right, but obviously it's very summarised and therefore may miss out or misinterpret the details; please come and kindly correct me if not!!!)
so we have three potential elements to this; the bull, and the two goats. if we take the bull out of the equation though, just for a minute, we could potentially interpret that the sin-offered goat and the scapegoat are potential lucifer and crowley respectively; that would fit.
the thing for me however is the - i believe - quite widely known point that crowley and aziraphale were originally meant to be the same character in initial drafts of GO. and we know from the pre-fall scene that aziraphale's information on the fate of the stars may have goaded crowley into challenging god, despite his warnings afterwards not to do so.
so - and hear me out - what if crowley was in fact offered up as the sacrificial goat, *the one which died and rose again, and aziraphale were the scapegoat? spared the fall, but cast out of heaven instead to bear the weight of sin, of the fall, on his shoulders? wouldn't that track with his being stationed on earth - cast into the wilderness - where he just so happens to end up meeting crowley again? and wouldn't it also match the symbolism behind aziraphale's own depiction as the virgin mary; being that of purity, faith, and virtue?
this could further cycle back around to omelas, and the condemnation of the child to be kept in squalor and darkness in order to preserve the paradise of the city. this could easily be parallel to crowley - someone who fell but didn't deserve to - and in doing so, staying fallen, maintains that equilibrium in heaven, and to aziraphale being one to walk away from omelas after learning of the child:
"They leave Omelas, they walk ahead into the darkness, and they do not come back. The place they go towards is a place even less imaginable to most of us than the city of happiness. I cannot describe it at all. It is possible it does not exist. But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas."
certainly, it raises questions about metatron's suggestion to aziraphale that he could restore him to angelic status. did metatron make the offer knowing that crowley would reject it, and therefore keep them both separated? that aziraphale would return to heaven - to omelas - and continue in maintaining its illusion of paradise? bring home the scapegoat and instead wash it of the sins it had previously - and potentially unknowingly, re: memory-wipe theories - carried?
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adacatlovelace · 1 year ago
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I think I finally figured out why the episode "Lethal Inspection" bothers me so much, or more accurately how it tries to emulate the success of Jurassic Bark's ending and ultimately fails to deliver the same emotional gutpunch it did.
In Jurassic bark, we see Fry find the remains of his beloved pet from the past, and over the course of the episode we see him put himself through hell to get it back from the museaum, and later bringing him trying to bring him back to life, meanwhile neglecting his relationship with Bender.
This establishes two things: 1. Fry is still extremely attached to his past life where just the possibility of bringing back SOMEONE to his new life is something he will commit himself to 100%
2. For all of Bender's in your face attitude and claims he wants to kill all humans and how he doesn't need anyone, the moment he gets even the slightest hint of losing someone is enough to make him act like a small, scared child.
The episode intercuts with flashbacks to Seymore's life with Fry and what happens after Fry gets frozen. This not only fleshes out the world of Futurama, but it also gives light on WHY Fry is so obsessed with this dog, as it was the only character who knew him well enough to know what happened to him.
Then comes the ending. The tension between Bender and Fry comes to a head and then gets resolved by Bender redeeming himself by putting Fry's happiness before his own. Meanwhile Fry finds out that Seymore lived for a long time after he got frozen, which makes Fry come to the entirely reasonable conclusion that Seymore lived a full life.
The emotional gut punch comes from Seymore having never actually moved on from Fry, and while his decision was made from a healthy place, it results in Seymore living to the age of 15 waiting for Fry to come home. Its a situation thats heartbreakingly beautiful and not something you would expect from the silly future simpsons show. Its one that personally, still makes me feel things to this day.
On the other hand, theres Lethal Inspection. An episode that fails to set up for an emotional payoff, or even keeps the suspension of disbelief for long enough to have a surprise emotional twist be effective.
Firstly, it immediately contradicts what has already been established in the worst way possible. It reveals that this entire time Bender has been (or at least THOUGHT he was) immortal with the excuse of "I was just pretending to be scared all those times" which annhilates the suspension of disbelief.
Then it does something cool. It puts Hermes and Bender, two characters who havent had a whole lot of interactions, together for an international adventure, giving Hermes another chance to show off his skills and connections as a bureaucrat and the both of them develop a sort of chemistry.
At the end, Bender has to come to terms with his own mortality, and honestly had it just ended there, with maybe Hermes having to step out of his comfort zone as a cold bureaucrat to comfort his friend and coworker, that honestly wouldve been great.
But instead we get this twist that HERMES was actually the inspector that let bender go and it made him quit being an inspector.
Im gonna unpack all this now
Firstly Im just gonna let the continuity of baby bender slide. As far as Im concerned, the growth cycle of robots has basically just been a bunch of off the cuff jokes so its clear its a "dont think about it too hard" situation
This is the first and only instance of Hermes bucking the system that he's been a happy cog in his entire life. This would be fine, even GREAT if they had simply had more build up to it.
Its implied to be this lifechanging event for Hermes as he leaves the robot factory. This falls flat considering that Hermes, up until this point, has been a cold man who treats even other humans as disposable assets. Having a very humanizing moment for a character like this can be effective but you cant just randomly throw it out there, never to be mentioned again.
It establishes an undeserved connection between these two characters despite this basically being the only time they ever really interact for an extended period of time.
The Audience has never really been given reason to CARE about these "characters" as they, with a only a few exceptions like Hermes coming to terms with his shortcomings in Bender's Big Score, have mostly been vessels for joke delivery rather than fleshed out characters while Fry, Leela, Amy and Kiff have gotten the brunt of character development.
What barebones character growth it DOES have is Hermes proving that people like him ARE useful in getting things done, gets immediately contradicted by showing him acting NOT like a bureaucrat
Ultimately any emotion this scene has is based off pure coincidence. We aren't given any sort of idea of how the realization that HE was the one who let Bender slip through the cracks actually affected him as a person. Hell if anything it might've been MORE impactful if the inspector just turned out to be a friend of Hermes who showed more humanity than Hermes ever could
Now what should they have done in my opinion?
First off, instead of a "Bender takes Hermes on an adventure" episode, just commit making it a Hermes episode. Instead of doing the dumb "Sithal War" bit, just have Hermes waking up and follow him through his morning, clearly feeling unhappy with his life and who he's become. This would also be a great oppertunity to give LaBarbera some focus, instead of another 'shes looking for any excuse to leave Hermes for Barbados Slim' joke, have some genuine relationship drama as she ALSO isn't happy with how Hermes has become. Have Hermes respond in a cold, tired manner that only makes things worse.
Take that and follow the same general beats, except without the whole "Consiousness backed up to the cloud" and instead have Bender flaunting how he's not going to die of old age, only to find out that his self-repair functions are faulty. What THIS would do is have Bender face his newly found mortality without cheapening his fear of danger.
From here you have your adventure to mexico as Hermes dips his toes into his old life. Maybe drop much more subtle hints that Hermes has been to this town before as he somehow knows how to get around and where to find the factory. If questioned he could lie and say "I went to a calculator expo here one time" or something.
Then have the big reveal, but FOLLOW UP ON IT. Show that the whole experience has serve as a brief reminder of the idealistic young man he once was and then have there be CONSEQUENCES for it. Make the opening super melancholy so you can contrast it now with him going home with that spark relighting his humanity. Instead of trying to force an emotional moment with a sudden twist and music that implies innocence and youth, give the characters room to breath and let the audience form an emotional connection with their plight.
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lotus-flowerz · 3 years ago
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hello hello I love your writings so far sobs I couldn't help but do an ask myself aa (it's my first ask ever help hwkajd) could I request perhaps gn reader that flinched away from the boys by reflex? (preferably with Diluc, Kaeya and Kazuha but you can add or remove someone if you want to!) like they were hanging out and reader was lost in thoughts and suddenly when they see in the corner of their eyes how the boys raise their arm for smth reader quickly raises their arms above their own head to protect it- how would they react and how would they comfort the reader? I hope it's not too much or if you're uncomfortable with it you can ignore it if you want to whaaaa
AHHH TY IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY WRITING! i actually do this too, some of my old friends would make fun of me for it, so i hope that my writing here is accurate >.<
i also added beidou in here, hope you don't mind, i just had to since she's my favorite character <3
TW!! FLINCHING, ANXIETY, PAST TRAUMA, MENTION OF DEATH AND INJURIES
SLIGHT INAZUMA ARCHON QUEST SPOILERS
KAEYA BACKSTORY SPOILERS
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The cherry blossoms fell silently from the trees under which you and Kazuha were sitting. Those had remained unchanged since you and Kazuha were children. The beauty of the pink blossoms falling towards the green earth without a care.
It had remained the same through the vision hunt decree, through the war, through watching Tomo get killed by the shogun, through both of you getting injured during said fight. Kazuha's hand was burnt from Tomo's vision, and your body had a large scar running from your knee to the side of your neck from a stray bolt of lighting from Tomo's divine punishment. If not for Kazuha's determination to not lose another friend and Beidou and her crew caring for you, you would be dead.
These days, although you and Kazuha both carried the same trauma, he seemed to be doing leaps and bounds better than you were. Your eyes flitted to Kazuha, who was writing poetry. The only sound that could be heard was his pen gliding across the paper, filling it with his eloquent words that always seemed to flow so smoothly.
You were deep in thought, when out of the corner of your eye you spotted something coming towards your face. Instinctively, your hands flew out to shield yourself, leaving a very confused Kazuha, who was only scratching his head, looking at you with concern in his eyes.
"Dove.. did you think I was going to hurt you?"
You slowly lowered your arms, guilt washing over you.
"No! It's just- sometimes, when movements are too sudden.. I.. you know, I try to protect myself because uh.."
His eyes drifted to your scar, then looked up at your face, only to find it tilted to the ground. He put a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes up to meet his, then kissing your forehead.
One hand snaked around your waist while the other traced lightly over your scar, sending shivers down your spine. You wrapped your arms around him as well, putting a little of your weight onto him.
He kissed your lips, squeezing you tight against him.
"I'll never let anyone hurt you again. I promise."
"Kazuha, it's not-"
"I know it's not my fault. And I know I couldn't have prevented it. But I promise you, you're safe now."
He brought his hand up to cradle the back of your head as you buried your face in the crook of his neck.
"Thank you." you said, squeezing him a little tighter.
"No need to thank me. I love you, Y/n."
"I love you too, Kazuha."
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You had been a part of Beidou's crew for just over a year now, after meeting her in the wharf of Liyue harbor after finally finding the courage to leave your abusive and toxic partner. You didn't have a place to stay and you were clearly distraught, so when she asked if you were okay and you immediately began to cry, she offered you to come on her ship. You trusted her, since she was the well-known captain of the Crux. After you had explained your situation, she offered you to join her crew. You agreed, and began dating her about six months after joining the Crux.
Because you had been aboard the Alcor for a year, you knew the crew was loud and prone to get drunk. You had never liked to drink, preferring to quietly sip a small glass of dandelion wine while sitting next to Beidou while she drank a few beers and talked with her crew.
It was now the one year anniversary of when you had left Liyue Harbor, and conveniently, the Alcor was anchored there for a bit for a supplies run, imports drop off, and exports pickup. While out and about with Beidou, you had seen your ex in the wharf. They were about to come and talk to you, when you had pointed them out to Beidou. Beidou had slipped her arm around your waist, glaring at your ex, who glared back and turned heel to walk away.
Now, you sipped your wine beside Beidou, deep in thought. The loud atmosphere wasn't helping your anxieties, and you couldn't get your ex's glare out of your head. You didn't even realize you were completely zoned out until Beidou raised her arm to sling it around your shoulders, after she noticed you were zoned out.
Your arms flew up to shield yourself, and you spilt wine all over the both of you. The cup clattered to the floor, but luckily no one else noticed what just happened.
Beidou's face dropped and she quickly picked up the cup, setting it back down on the table.
"Men!" she called out. "Y/n and I are turning in early tonight! Make sure you scallywags have this cleaned up by the morning!"
The crew cheered their goodnights, raising their beers to their captain and her first mate. Beidou smiled, slipped an arm around your waist, and led you back to your guys' shared quarters.
"Alright doll, what happened just now?"
She closed the door behind her and sat on the bed next to you, looking at you with a certain softness that made you melt.
"I'm.. I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my ex, and how we saw them earlier, and I couldn't get their glare out of my head.. and I left them exactly a year ago.. I don't know why I flinched away from yo-"
Beidou cut you off by taking both of your hands into hers.
"Y/n, don't say sorry! You know, your ex wouldn't stand a chance against even my weakest crew member. They will never hurt you again."
"I don't doubt that for a second," you said, a small smile growing on your face, "Thank you for taking me in, Beidou."
"No, the pleasure is all mine. I couldn't ask for a better first mate. You're safe now, okay?" she smiled, squeezing your hands.
You looked into her eyes for a moment before throwing your arms around her. She squeezed you back, kissing your head.
"C'mon, let's shower and get this wine off of us." she giggled.
You laughed. "Yeah, let's."
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Kaeya had told you his backstory, but you never mentioned yours. You just weren't ready to talk about it. Your parents had never been great, you always walked on eggshells around everyone, and everyone was all too rough with you, emotionally and physically.
You had met Kaeya in the tavern one night, while trying to drink away what you were feeling. Kaeya had noticed how obliterated you were and let Diluc know he was taking you to stay at the Knights Headquarters, and would keep an eye on you. The rest was history, and now you and Kaeya had been dating for a little over a year.
Kaeya had told you his backstory on Monday. That same day later on, you had a run in with your parents at Blanche's, where they had yelled at you for deciding to become a Knight, and proceeded to pick you apart from your very core.
In turn, you had been drinking a little more than usual for the entire week. You seemed more withdrawn and just not fully there. And it all came to a head when you were laying in bed next to Kaeya.
He went to put his arm over you, a loving gesture, but your arms came up on instinct to shield yourself. He sighed loudly.
"You're scared of me."
"Oh Archons- I didn't mean to- no, I swear it isn't-"
"You've been acting all angry and cold ever since I told you about my roots. I thought you would be the one who didn't leave me after I told them."
"No, Kaeya- please, just let me explain!"
"I'm listening."
You began to hesitantly tell him about your parents. His face grew angrier and angrier every time you told him another thing your parents had done to you.
"I'll kill them. I had no idea that that happened though. I'm sorry for assuming."
"It's alright, Kaeya. I didn't even consider that you might think I was acting weird because of where your confession."
"I swear they'll never get near you again, alright? You're safe now. It's alright."
He pulled you into him, wrapping you up in his strong arms and putting his legs over yours, making you feel protected and safe.
"No one will hurt you, not on my watch. I love you, Y/n."
"I love you too, Kaeya. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."
"No need for apologies, you were gonna tell me when you were ready. Now let's get some sleep, that dandelion wine I downed earlier is starting to get to me."
You giggled, burying your head further into his chest.
"Alright. Goodnight, Kaeya."
"Night, prince/ess."
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You and Diluc had been dating for a few months now, you had met when he had needed to hire a new bartender, and you volunteered your mixing skills to the Angel's Share. You had caught his eye immediately, and he had asked you out on a date soon after you began your work there.
Your ex wasn't a kind person, to say the least, so you had been hesitant to say yes. You assured Diluc that this was just because your ex was unkind to you, but you had never mentioned physical harm. You hadn't wanted to worry him.
You were sitting on the couch with Diluc, his arm slung over your shoulders while you stared into the crackling flames of the fire burning before you. Diluc wasn't paying attention, as he was reading a book in his free hand.
He raised his arm up, attempting to adjust to a more comfortable position, but you misread this. Your arms were shielding your face in an instant, and Diluc was looking at you with a shocked and concerned face that quickly morphed to anger.
"I'm going to kill him." he growled/
You lowered your arms and looked down, avoiding looking him in the eye.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."
"Did he hit you??"
"I, um, didn't want to worry you."
"Barbatos.. and this domestic abuser is just, what, roaming around Mondstat? No punishment for the pain he put you through?"
"I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want him to come and hurt me. I also didn't want to cause any trouble."
Diluc rubbed a hand over his face, before wrapping you in a hug.
"You're safe here, alright? I will never lay a hand on you to hurt you. I won't let anyone else hurt you either, okay?"
"Thank you.." your eyes welled up with tears, "I thought you would be upset that I didn't tell you."
"No, never. It's a hard thing to talk about. If you'd like, I have connections. We can have him arrested."
"I don't want to cause trouble.."
"You won't. He won't be able to hurt anyone else this way. But we can discuss this later. Would you care for a cup of tea?"
"That'd be nice. Thanks, Diluc."
"You're welcome, angel. Tell me if anyone hurts you again, alright? I'll protect you."
"Will do. I love you."
"I love you too."
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rotshop · 3 years ago
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UGHHH this is so bad. (head in hands) LOOK. look. im sleepy tired and i just needed to warm up w/ something and also took exactly One break during this to grab a dirnk !!! shhh.
-
This was by far the worst situation you could've been in. Nevadean winters were a simple fact of how it was, but that didn't take any of the bite from the freezing winds. Some years, it would be a decent one, there would be a fair amount of hot and cold days and little snow. Not entirely pleasant, but you could work with it with in relative ease. Other years though, the season seemed to just throw it all at you, shoving everything off the shelves and toppling dominoes to see how you'd fair. It was the cruelest whenever those years came about.
This though? This had to be a fucking joke.
The others had already been on edge about the mission, as you and your partner didn't exactly have the best relationship. There'd been several attempts to switch things around so that threat would be eliminated, but ultimately they'd proven fruitless. So, with great reluctance they went along with it, though Deimos had been particularly adamant on you all meeting back up as soon as possible. He'd been especially antsy and anxious as the mission had drawn ever closer, voicing the most concerns and posing the most questions to you. He wasn't the greatest at hiding his worries when it came to those he considered close, you admired that about him.
It was almost funny with how right he'd been to worry about it. Not only had there been far ore agents and mags than expected, there was also jack shit worth taking. Obviously, this had been some sort of trap in an attempt to catch you all off guard. It'd worked, evidently, just not in the way they'd probably expected. At some point or another, it was decided you all had to get out and go. Sanford was far too injured to continue on, 2b was too stressed to think straight, and you and Hank had the luck of getting trapped on the other side of base.
You didn't exactly feel too surprised when you'd been yanked up by the back of your shirt and thrown into the back of a truck, door slamming shut seconds after. You could see a hoard of agents and mags alike nearing closer, unable to tear your gaze away from them even as your partner got in the driver's seat. There was a bit of commotion from them, barking into the comms. about needing to get out and go. You were still too distracted even when they'd begun to speed off, and far too distracted to hear Deimos' confused shouting get cut.
You could tell it was coming, somewhere in between all the pre-existing stress and dread. It was like your own version of getting a headache shortly before it storms, except all it did was tell you you'd be royally fucked for the next day or few. It was always a little too hard for you to decipher exactly how long it would be, a little too fuzzy of a reading for you to say anything accurate on the matter. All you could tell was that it was coming soon, it wouldn't stop just for your less than friendly company.
-
Three days. You'd been stuck driving out here for three days now.
Originally, the plan was to drive off until the agents would give up, turn around, and go back to base to find the others. It'd started off easy enough, the agents chasing after you seeming to lose interest in the hunt after a good while, turning and leaving. You weren't sure why at the moment, but the action had shifted something uncomfortably in your chest. It just felt too easy, too convenient.
You'd soon figured it out when the storm had started to kick in. It didn't seem too bad at first, a minor inconvenience that drew a little grumble and a lean forward in their seat from your companion. Then, it'd worsened and worsened. By this point, neither of you knew where you were. Sure, the anti-aahw had been all over Nevada- but that was just of the Nevada they knew about. It wouldn't be far fetched to suggest you'd both gotten turned around and were now god knows where.
Eventually, it was decided there was no progress that could be made here. You'd both have to either hope for a place to stay or that the car wouldn't fair too uncomfortably. Which, considering the lack of space in it and you with far too little energy to get into an argument, the first would be the blessing of the two. It wasn't too long until your quiet prayers from the back seat had been answered, the faintest of outlines among the storm showing some form of shelter. You could already feel exhaustion settling in, far too quickly for your own comfort. By the time Hank had pulled over to walk in, he'd had to reach into the backseat and tug you by the collar of your shirt with an impatient noise, a gentle encouragement laced with the threat of dragging you out.
You were sure you couldn't have pulled your legs further to your chest than you already had. Your spine was already beginning to set with soon-to-be-aches and cramps as you curled into yourself. You'd attempted to keep yourself as taut as possible, not wanting to look as pathetic as you felt in that moment, half-shaking on the cold hard floor of some abandoned complex. Hank had gone off a while ago, leaving you in the lobby to go look for a room to stay in- a room for him to stay in.
You'd lost track of time, too focused on trying to keep it all together as your mind threatened to go blank and shut down. It was the worst when it was like this, where you could only lay and hope for exhaustion to kick you into sleep at one point or another. Your limbs all felt heavy with weight, uncomfortable with just how impossible it seemed to move them. Every part of your body felt locked up, stuck and stiff how it was when you'd dropped down to the floor. You were at least glad you'd fallen to face the door, able to see the snow falling from your position.
Sure, it was the cause of your current estrangement. Yes, it meant you were stuck with the man who hated your guts with a burning passion. Despite all that, it was still pretty. It was surreal to see the sky something other than a burning red, though that oddness was fully welcomed if it meant a break from that damned color.
You'd been snapped out of your daze by a light nudge to your back, you attempted to summon up a sound of acknowledgement- coming up with nothing. The lack of a response earned another, rougher nudge, shoving against your spine uncomfortably. You'd jumped away from the contact with a little mix of a whine and hiss, head jerking back to meet the eyes of your 'assailant.' Red lenses met your gaze, looming over you from your place on the ground.
"Get off the floor and come with me," it wasn't a request. He'd always been especially bossy with you, a little colder and more detached from you. It didn't take a genius to tell he was on less than stellar terms with you.
You didn't have time to stagger up onto your feet, a hand finding its way to the collar of your shirt to yank you up once more. The world spun around you in a haze as you stumbled forward, attempting to re-balance yourself as best as you could in the short breath you were given. Apparently, it hadn't worked well, you ending up crashing into Hank in the process. He'd barely stirred at the movement, still as a statue despite your disturbance. Distantly, you'd noticed how his hands had moved to your back, keeping you upright. You'd also noticed how they weren't a bruising grip on your form-
"....walk?"
You'd blinked. You had no clue what he'd even asked, did he ask anything in the first place? I mean, you could've totally just imagined it. Maybe you were just dreaming already, it happens sometimes..
"I don't ask questions just for you to not answer. Can you walk?"
You'd opened your mouth to speak, shutting it shortly after. Your tongue was like lead in your mouth and your voice seemed to have gone for a walk. You weren't going to play the chances of you not answering again. Instead, you'd simply given a little nod. He was..surprisingly warm, in all honesty. You found yourself leaning further into him, unconsciously nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck.
He seemed satisfied by the answer, giving a little grunt of acknowledgement before pulling away. You'd caught yourself before you'd fallen, sleep snapping from you momentarily again as reality came back. By the time you found some sort of feelings in your legs again, he was already down the hall, not waiting for you by any means. You were grateful for the little burst of energy that'd found you, stumbling after him quickly.
You were reaching for his arm before you could really even process it, holding onto him once more in a moment of unconscious indulgence. You missed the little curious glance he gave you, and the way he'd pulled his arm (and subsequently you) a little closer to him. Admittedly, you leaning onto him so much did force him to slow down a bit, much to his chagrin. He didn't make any comment about it though. You didn't either, happy to just stay close as you just barely stayed awake enough to continue walking with him.
-
The mattress felt far more comfortable than the floor.
"Better than laying on tile, isn't it?" Came the sarcastic question.
Nevermind, fuck this mattress.
You'd given a little hum, stirring a bit as you got comfortable. You were still curled up as small as you could, some sort of attempt to salvage what little heat you had. The thin fleece blankets didn't offer much relief from the elements, serving more as an empty pressure laying on you. Despite that though, it seemed you were given some mercy, as you were just edging into unconsciousness.
"I'll be in the next room over so don't be loud, alright?"
You'd nodded slowly. There was a pause. There was an abnormally long pause, to be exact. After a few breaths you could hear the clinking of metal and the shuffling of cloth. Curiously, you'd poked your head up, looking at the man over your shoulder in confusion. He'd met your gaze, pausing for the briefest of moments as he tugged his jacket off.
"What're you doin?..." you'd managed, words slurring together drearily.
He'd given a short 'tsk,' continuing his previous ministrations as he answered. "What I'm doing is making sure you don't go into some little coma on me, I'm not carrying your ass around if you pass out that hard. That's on you."
You'd given a little displeased hum at his words, narrowing your eyes slightly at him. He didn't react. Laying your head back down, you'd sighed in some sort of content, peaceful enough in the deteriorating room. You could feel yourself falling asleep, thought slipping from you as you finally found some sot of rest.
Just before you really fell unconscious though, you could feel the weight of a jacket being draped over you. You could've sworn you felt a hand settle on your arm for a moment, tracing a few shapes and lines idly before reluctantly pulling away. You were so sure you heard the faintest of 'Goodnight,'s before the door clicked shut. You could have just been hearing things or dreaming them up, though. You'd just have to ask him about it in the morning.
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doakaptan · 4 years ago
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i think i finally get mad men and im not happy about it
Two weeks ago I started watching Mad Men for an assignment and accidentally became obsessed with a show that had no premise other than Don Draper bedding various women. 5 seasons in, I bought myself a mechanical keyboard just so that I can live the aesthetic of the show while writing this.
(I will write this post assuming you have read my first blog post about this show but you don’t have to worry about missing any info because the first blog post was me predicting an unpredictable show and cursing at characters)
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So turns out, I did not really figure out anything by only watching the first seven episodes. No surprise there. But by diving deep into the first 2 seasons I realized that Mad Men is actually deeper than it lets on and the cheapening effect of its over-sexualized characters don’t really do a great job at hiding it. Actually after a while sex in the show is more symbolism than actual sex. It especially signifies a mental state that is special to Don and you actually start feeling sorry for him whenever a sex scene comes up. 
Well, Don Draper is a villain as well as the hero or to put it more accurately, a tragic hero and as the seasons progress you develop a love hate relationship with him. And if you binge watch 5 seasons and use all your spare time to think about it, you start relating to Don. Surprisingly Don had all the odds against him and lived an awful life without ever doing anything to prompt it. As I learned more about his life I actually started getting mad at the alternative reality of Mad Men because goddamn let the man breathe and be happy for once. 
At the start I was mad about him cheating on Betty with every single powerful women that looked his way and I am still mad, you can’t really excuse that, but as their relationship was revealed more and more I kind of started to understand why he preferred spending the nights somewhere else. Betty is incredibly hard to put up with and no offense but even I’m not sticking around for her character development. She is overbearing, childish, overall a pain in the ass. If I knew her in real life I would have thought that she was pampered too much and was unable to grow up and get a grip as a result. She has mommy issues though and I respect that. There are also moments that she shines and she especially prefers shining only after they get a divorce and when she knows she will get Don’s approval. Before I lose track and continue talk about Betty know that Don is always worse and let me wrap up his analysis. 
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Don is, in my opinion, someone who experiences love by avoiding it. (A love avoidant may be the term but I am not really sure). He marries Betty because he falls in love too hard and starts avoiding her right after their marriage, he likes the artist woman too much so he leaves her to be with someone she is more compatible with, same thing with the most of the women he chases. I only realized how hard he avoids the people he likes during season 4 when he decides to marry his secretary (who mind you spend like 4 days with him in Los Angeles to take care of his children) rather than building a healthy relationship with Faye who was probably the best person he could have ended up with. This also relates back to his self-destructive tendencies. He never truly believes that he deserved anything so he makes sure that he ruins it.
He excessively drinks and smokes, cuts ties on a whim, cheats and only ever feels truly like himself while he’s with Anna (who dies later in the series). Anna is and was the friend he needed all along. Even in his stolen identity Anna was the only person who accepted him as who he is and didn’t leave his side even in his darkest times. The man literally went to Korea by himself to defend an area and came back with a stolen id and lots of trauma and adopted himself into the life of her (the wife of the person he stole his identity from) and made sure she lived a life full of love. He shines the most when he can be himself but his old identity is and probably will always be an enigma to him. 
I think he’s slowly starting to find his way and make up for his mistakes but since he is used to self-destructing his set backs get more and more brutal each time. I start relating to him at this point the most. Relapsing in situations like these is brutal and it always feels like it is the last time and for once, for Don, it is the last time. He starts writing to understand himself and starts doing things like, regularly going to swimming or getting into a healthy relationship with someone who will be with him and help him through his ups and downs. He relapses when he decides to marry his secretary and from then on his relapse will only get worse but I believe that he is getting somewhere…
I will update this post once and for all, when I finish the entire series but for now I weirdly have hope that everything will end well for Don. 
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And since I overstayed my welcome by going way over the word-limit I will speed run the thoughts I have about the other characters.
Betty, despite my comments earlier is actually misunderstood and deserves more than she gets. She truly loved Don and did everything in her power to make him happy. She even left her very successful modeling career to get married with him while SHE DESERVED BETTER THAN HIM. Her parenting is questionable but it can be overlooked because right now (in the middle of a global pandemic) we can all agree that being stuck with our family 24/7 is not ideal and we have been doing it for only a year while she has been doing it for more than a decade with more children adding up. LEAVE BETTY DRAPER/FRANCIS ALONE. 
(Also, watch the scene where she shoots at her neighbor’s pigeons because he threatened little Sally with killing her dog then talk to me about good parenting…)
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Pete Campbell, turns out I really like him and his work ethic. I wish he ended up with Peggy but he is doing just fine with Trudy good for him. good. for. him. Thank god they didn’t follow up Trudy’s ‘old lover’, ‘the one that got away' plot line because it would probably be the thing I hated the most about watching this show. She is not an interesting character and she’ll never be. Good for Pete though, good for Pete. He never gets anything and I don’t know if he deserves getting it because we are not that exposed to him. But he is loyal to the ones he loves and even though his morals can get a bit questionable at times he is hardworking and will build up a great life as far as I’m concerned. (And if he doesn’t you can find me on ao3 re-writing his plot because I am no longer appreciating Pete-slander in this house).
Peggy. GOOD FOR HER GOOD FOR HER. LEAVE THAT DAMN CATHOLIC CHURCH AND HANG OUT WITH WANNABE REALEST OF THE REALEST ARTISTS. Also love the gay girl she should have ended up with her instead of the wannabe artist who only talks about capitalism. Peggy’s job is capitalism their relationship don’t really make sense.
Joan… Joan deserved someone who treated her right but fell into the lap of a charming locker-room-mouthed jock, who tried to be a surgeon and failed then tried to be a psychiatrist and failed and finally got drafted for Vietnam (ngl I hope he dies there). Unpopular opinion she should have ended up with Roger because while I hate ‘the perfect girl fixes boy with problems’ trope I would have eat it up. I like them together and surprisingly they are good together. I think she is the only one smart enough to actually lead cis-het white men who think they own everything because they are men, within their company and she deserves more than she gets with the shit she deals with. 
On a last note, the topics Mad Men deals with sometimes can get a bit triggering or upsetting but I think it is worth a watch.
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sanchoyo · 3 years ago
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danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)
see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3
-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)
-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/
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-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules
-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.
-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO
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-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3
-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.
-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.
-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x
-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son
-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.
-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised
-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?
-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.
-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.
-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!
-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???
-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)
-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!
-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.
-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?
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-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.
-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)
-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh
-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.
-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3
-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.
-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.
-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao
-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.
-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.
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-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)
-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...
-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)
-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously
-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.
-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤
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all-things-mlqc · 4 years ago
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The five boys react to an overweight MC that works as a nutritionist but struggles a lot to lose weight? It might be strange but it happens sometimes. PLEASE!!! Btw, I love your work❤️
This was really fun to write about. Knowing that these guys are so supportive of MC and want to help her in any way possible with whatever she’s struggling with is just so sweet. 
Thank you for the love and support as well! 😭 I’m usually just memeing it up out here so writing HCs is very new for me but your support helps so much! I did meme a lot while writing this as well because what’s life without memes, so you can find all of my inner thoughts crossed out~ Hope you enjoy!
HC below the cut~
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Gavin:
Gavin loves and supports MC through everything. He’s constantly watching and confronts her whenever he believes something is wrong.
After noticing her sulking at herself in the mirror, he asks what’s troubling her.
“Nothing really! You don’t need to worry about me.”
She gives him a small smile and turns away from the mirror.
He figured it had something to do with her figure given the way she was looking at herself.
He remembered her mentioning how even though she’s a nutritionist, she still struggled with her own weight.
She didn’t seem all that down back when mentioning it, but the expression she had in the mirror said otherwise.
He stood up from the sofa and asked if she wanted to go with him during his morning jog.
“Why would you want me to do that? I’d only slow you down.”
Gavin: I don’t mind. If it’ll help, then I’ll do anything I can.
This man isn’t one for small talk. He gets straight to the point. He observes, finds the problem and seeks out a solution. There was no need for MC to confirm his suspicions about wanting to lose weight; It was all in her expression.
“I don’t really want you to go out of your way for me... Besides, it’s important you don’t slack off with your training.”
Gavin: I wouldn’t be slacking off. Training with you would only make me work harder.
A NATURAL ROMANTIC BUT ALSO A FUCKING MORON WHO GAVE HER A BLOOD SOAKED LETTER. IM GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU YA DUMBASS
MC takes up on Gavin’s offer considering how adamant he was. He also didn’t seem concerned in the slightest about MC being a burden BECAUSE SHES LITERALLY THE LIGHT IN HIS LIFE AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER
After they go jogging, they stop for a healthy meal of MCs choice because Gavin doesn’t know what food is. Have you seen his kitchen? INSTA NOODLES EVERYWHERE. Boy is literally the type to throw a lunchables on the dinner table and give thanks for his beloved meal. Omg nononono I’m thinking of all these sad things now about how Gavin was literally homeless for a while as a kid so he probably just got used to eating something small and simple every day. BYE IMMA GO CRY NOW
While eating, Gavin comes up with a few more ideas to help and offers to take her to his gym every other day.
They come up with a plausible schedule that could seem efficient to MC’s wish of losing weight.
This also gives MC the chance to make sure Gavin is taking care of himself as well.
Kiro:
Kiro and MC meet up when he finally has free time and manages to escape from Savin.
Like their normal days together, they end up walking around Loveland City, going to some sightseeing locations. They just enjoy each other’s company.
When stopping to buy a snack, Kiro grabs two bags of chips and beams up at MC only to see her forced smile. He immediately gets concerned given how positive she always is.
Kiro: Are you ok? What’s on your mind?
“No, it’s nothing. I’m just trying to narrow down on the amount of junk food I eat.”
Kiro: Why is that? You’ve always told me to live to the fullest.
“Well... I’m trying to lose some weight but it seems more problematic than I had originally thought.”
With MC looking ashamed of how little progress she has made thus far, Kiro places both bags back on the shelf with a bright smile.
Kiro: Well if we both work together then there’s no chance we could lose this fight! Besides, Savin has been at my throat lately considering the mount of junk food I’ve been eating recently too.
“Kiro...”
MC stared at Kiro, dumbfounded, who seemed so positive. This gave MC a boost of confidence, herself.
She quietly thanked him while giving him a genuine smile.
They spent the whole day doing fun activities. In a way, this was part of Kiro’s plan to help MC. He knew how much this mattered to her so he wanted to keep a smile on her face while secretly help her from the shadows.
It’s honestly what he does best. It’s hard to tell in the game since we don’t get to see every expression he makes or how he reacts to things, but take a good look at his reactions in the anime. You can see how serious he really is behind his happy facade.
He continues to silently help her every time they spend time together as well as send her encouraging texts and reminders.
Nobody is more positive and encouraging than Kiro~
Lucien:
Lucien knows everything nutritionists know, let’s be real. This man was a child prodigy who skipped half of his school life, going straight to college.
He knows EXACTLY what MC needs. The one problem is, so does MC.
She knows what she needs to do but doesn’t have the kind of support she needs. She easily becomes discouraged when things don’t work out after trying so hard.
Luckily, Lucien is also a wonderful supporter minus when he just “what’s a magic? Don’t know em. No thoughts. Head empty. Only science and death”. Uhu then what do you call that flying cop outside the window? Where’s your science behind that? Lucien: “Well you see, there is a certain DNA mutation that—“ DO NOT ANSWER THAT YOU FOOL I KNOW ITS SCIENCE BUT MAGIC IS EASIER TO ACCEPT RN BECAUSE MY BRAIN GO BRRR
But considering it’s MCs health, he is very supportive and even explains that many people struggle with the same problem. There’s not exactly any problem with how someone looks unless it is overall affecting their health for the worse but he will gladly help MC if she wishes to lose weight.
Knowing that Lucien views it this way immediately gives MC more confidence.
An enormous amount of stress has been lifted off her shoulders which will ultimately help her reach her goal.
Lucien comes up with a solid workout plan and diet that is easy for MC to follow and even offers to make her some special meals to help with weight loss because Bill Nye over here has the solution to everything
I also highkey imagined him whispering in her ear like the first day they met that if she follows his plan without any casualties, he would give her special rewards and yes I do mean THOSE kind of rewards because this man is K I N K Y. I don’t even like him, I blame my friend who’s constantly giving me these ideas about him. You’re lucky you’re a bitch or I’d probably be on the floor for you too.
Victor:
Victor’s biggest struggle is vulnerability. He is very blunt and says what comes to his mind without always thinking it through.
Because of this, he upsets MC when talking about her weight.
He meant no harm from whatever he may have said but notices MC’s sorrowful expression after lifting his eyes from the papers on his desk to meet her gaze.
He immediately acknowledges what he had done and puts everything away for the day, offering to take her to Souvenir.
“What..?”
Victor: I’m done for the day. If you don’t have anything else to do, you can come with me.
“But why?”
Victor: You’re still you regardless of your weight, but if it’s something you want to change, I’ll help.
The man wanted to tell her she’s beautiful and amazing no matter what, but hahaha we all know this man can’t compliment for the life of him. Jkjk he can but like I said before, v u l n e r a b i l i t y. He struggles with expressing his true feelings.
MC responds with pure shock on her face,
“Really?? You’d help me?”
Victor: Only an idiot would ask a question like that. You should count on me more when you’re struggling with something like this.
Baka this baka that. If I don’t add it somewhere, than this whole HC isn’t accurate at all. All you thirsty Victor hoes go watch his baka clip if you want more *spray bottles*
He tidies up his desk and grabs his coat, heading towards the door while MC stumbles over her thoughts.
He only stops halfway out the door to look back over his shoulder at MC.
Victor: Well?
“I— I’m coming!”
She rushes over and follows him out the door.
Victor ends up making MC a delicious and healthy meal, one he knows is a special meal for a weight loss diet.
Cooking was never that important to him. He only learned because of the little girl he once knew. But now... Now he has a new reason to continue cooking.
That girl had come back to him and he would do anything in his power to make her happy.
Shaw:
He watches MC intently as she talks about how difficult it is for her.
Right before MC finishes, he places her on his skateboard and takes off without giving her time to protest.
She shouts in fear ofc. Why wouldn’t she. I’m terrified every time the game says he puts mc on his skateboard just—
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Shaw chuckles with amusement in her ear and then tells her to push off with her own feet.
“ARE YOU INSANE?” yes, yes he is
Shaw: I won’t let you fall but I won’t stop until you push.
“Fine fine!”
With the help of Shaw keeping her steady, she’s able to smoothly push off the skateboard a few times.
After getting the hang of it, there’s a slight smile taking place of her feared expression from before.
Shaw’s expression, however, doesn’t change in the slightest. That teasing smirk rests on his face as she continues to push them down the park sidewalk.
As they reach the main road, she yells back to Shaw when the skateboard doesn’t slow down.
“Shaw—!”
It’s all she managed to get out as the fear she once had returned again.
MC shut her eyes with panic as the street grew closer and closer, only to feel an arm wrap around her as the cold wind hitting her face dissipated.
When her eyes opened, she saw Shaw giving her the same mocking smirk he always wears. However, his eyes showed signs of gentleness he doesn’t often express.
He offers her one of his skateboards for workout purposes as well as being her workout partner.
MCs chuckles out of amusement from the idea of HER riding a skateboard by herself. totally a reason why Shaw made this offer. He feeds off of entertainment.
She politely declines his offer of skateboarding but hesitantly asks if he would help her in other ways.
The question needs no thought from Shaw but he doesn’t want her to know he made up his mind to help long ago. ah yes, his one weakness as well, vulnerability
Shaw: I suppose being of assistance to you may turn out entertaining.
MC: Is that all I am to you? A source of entertainment?
She pouts at him half jokingly but he pays no mind to it as he kicks up his skateboard and continues walking ahead while suggesting a few things they can do to help with weight loss. Daring but not enough to scare her away. He actually wants to help but needs her to comply with his suggestions
Shaw is the type to help those he cares for without making it obvious. He believes personal relationships is a weakness for someone like him so he always keeps people at arms length; He always wants a possible way out for when he has to push people away.
While this is true, he’s also struggled with vulnerability his whole life. Considering the type of person his father was, growing up with a man like that not only puts pressure on Shaw, but also forms this broken and terrified personality under his overconfident facade.
Someone please just hold this man, he’s trying his best and needs healing
Their solution for MC is to try some fun activities together. Fun enough for MC to believe that Shaw isn’t going out of his way for her but also not as extreme to the point where MC won’t participate.
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heuristicallyinclined · 5 years ago
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MallekWeek2020 Day 1 Writing Prompt
Day 1: What happened after Mallek's Friendsim route
(AO3)
If someone told you you would be spending your evening on the less dirty side of a couch belonging to a guy who genuinely thought you were a robot when he met you, you probably would have absolutely believed it. Honestly, you might have felt some relief knowing you would get a break from the usual life-threatening antics. Things might have started out weird, but chilling on someone’s couch was a nice change of pace. Even if there is a giant snake staring at you from across the room, seemingly unblinking. Can snakes blink? Do alien snakes blink? You don’t think this one does at least. You hope Mallek comes back soon.
The two of you had gone for a dip in some sewer water, willingly and otherwise, and had come back up to his apartment to get cleaned up. He offered to let you shower first since he did push you. You let him know you weren’t holding a grudge or anything, but he insisted. You did get a much needed change of clothes out of it though, so that was nice. You offered to see yourself out after your shower, not wanting to overstay your welcome, but he said it was cool. You are now wondering if he was just saying that to be polite. You mean, other people haven’t had much of a problem telling you to fuck off, but you think you are really feeling a friendship from him and you don’t want to risk it losing it because you can’t take a hint. You guess it is too late now, since while you were weighing your option, he enters the room.
Mallek plops down next to you on the couch and you look up at him and give him a friendly smile. You thank him again for being cool about the whole robot and palmhusk in the water thing, but he stops you.
“dude; its cool; you already apologized; were good;”
You relax a bit more at the reaffirmation. People have done worse for less and he felt bad enough to make it up to you. Maybe you are just waiting for the other shoe to drop?
“anyways; im hungry and am getting delivery; what do you want;”
Wait you’re getting fed? Oh he doesn’t have to do that and you don’t have anything to chip in right now an-
“i didnt really expect you to have money; im buying;”
You don’t have to do that, you’re good, you even ate today!
He shoots you a look of concern. Maybe you saying it like that was less than reassuring that you’re “good.”
“im not just going to eat in front of you; come on; plus my original plans fell through;”
You’re about to ask what when he nudges you with an easygoing smile. Oh, he was probably hoping to mess with a robot.
“here; what sounds good to you; i pulled up grubhub;”
What.
“oh yeah you = alien; you can get food off of it; here;”
He shows you his palmhusk and you scoot closer to see the screen. What the actual fuck. How is this a universal constant? Like you know they have a kind of bug theme going on and slap the word grub on things in ways you don’t really get. This still is a lot for you though. He is explaining it to you and you stop him. You fill him in. He chuckles and seems to be amused by this.
“that = weird dude; how about the food;”
Nope, the food is still eluding you. Some stuff seems to have Earthen equivalents and just have bugs or grubs on them or something. Others you have no idea what to make of. He can get whatever he thinks is good and you’re cool with getting whatever he is gets. He puts an order in.
“sure; but grubs = the best part;”
You disagree.
He laughs, “dibs on yours then;”
They’re all his.
You smile at him and it feels easy to do. You ask what you two are doing until then.
“how about a movie; = you cool with that”
Sure!
Okay, you are actually really pumped about this. A movie night with some delivery? That sounds like a really fun night. This is something actually you want to do, instead of just getting through to try to be his friend. You tell him to choose whatever, you haven’t seen anything other than a few romcoms anyways. Plus, him asking you to choose between two movies would take him ten minutes just to get through the titles. He chuckles at this and starts flipping through titles.
“do you like action movies;”
Yeah.
“how about bad ones;”
Like a really cheesy movie?
“yeah;”
Sounds fun. But you haven’t seen a lot of Alternian media, so whatever he picks is going to inform your opinion of his species. No pressure.
You hope he gets that this is a joke. Joking has felt easy to do with him so far and you want to keep doing it. You would hate to ruin it by saying the wrong thing and having him tell you to get out. By the way he is laughing though, he seems to appreciate it.
He grins at you, “okay; then this is going to be accurate as hell; enjoy;”
You’re ready for it.
Except you aren’t because there is a knock on the door. Mallek starts to get up, but you tell him you can at least grab it for him since he ordered it. You bound up to the door and open it with a delivery guy reading off the order for you to confirm. You realize you don’t know what Mallek ordered and the delivery guy looks up when you don’t answer. You also then realize he wasn’t expecting to see an alien answering a highblood’s door, based off of how he was looking at you. To his credit, he doesn’t drop the food. You just just grab it and thank him, basically slamming the door in his face with mild panic. You turn around and Mallek is there. You two look at each other and he doubles over. His laughter is contagious and soon you are too. You eventually collect yourself.
You feel bad, you know the poor guy doesn’t get paid enough for that.
“hes fine; does everyone do that when they see you;”
Depends on if they’re looking for a robot or not.
He chuckles and shakes his head. You settle back onto the couch with him with some plates and pop the box open. You see what looks like a very creative interpretation of pizza covered in mostly plants. And grubs. Cool. You grab a slice and start picking them off. It tastes good, not what you were expecting, but not bad. You grab another slice.
“how = it;”
You let him know you like it.
“enough to try it with grubs;”
Absolutely not.
He grabs one of the ones you picked off of your plate and into his mouth, “suit yourself;”
The two of you get back to watching the movie and you get comfortable. It has so many explosions and unrealistic combat scenes. Which you feel you now have the authority to judge based off what you’ve seen with Skyyla, Remele, Konyyl, Azdaja, and wow actually this is a concerning amount of violence you’ve seen. Hope that doesn’t have any long term consequences.
The acting is also just so bad. Like you know very little about quadrants, but based off of that and how prickly trolls can be, this is forced as hell. They have no chemistry in a love or hate way. God Polypa would be having a field day with this one. The characters are just. A lot. Some douchey main, secondary buddy dude, the veteran, romantic lead. There are so many cliches and you are having fun hating it, wait, did you just accidentally understand kissmesitude? Because of this shitty movie? Damn it.
There is one hacker character who does tech stuff for the leads. He uses a bunch of technical sounding jargon that you suspect means nothing based off of how Mallek is rolling his eyes. You don’t feel too bad interrupting the riveting dialogue.
So did any of that mean anything?
“fuck no; none of that made sense;”
You continue watching it, curling up fully on the couch now. More explosions and fight scenes. You wonder if humans and trolls have more in common than you originally thought just because of how you share so many tropes, just spun a bit differently. The hacker character utters, “I’m in,” and you can’t help it and smirk.
That’s you.
“that = me; you = right;”
This is easy and you like it, Just dumb side commentary during dumb movies.
Seriously, have you ever hacked anything and said “I’m in”?
“no;” he pauses and smiles at you, “but i have thought it;”
You wouldn’t be a real information specialist if you didn’t.
You grab another slice and immediately put the grubs on Mallek’s plate. The hero saves the day and triumphs doing some backflips off of a burning building. The buddy makes a joke that falls flat. The two kiss. Everyone is happy and the credits roll.
You look over at Mallek, sprawled out on the couch, legs on top of yours. He seems to always keep up a cool demeanor, but this is probably the first time you’ve seen him be genuinely relaxed. You wish you could be that relaxed, you were having fun, you really were, but the movie was over now and you didn’t know where that left you. As reluctant as you are to break the silence, you do.
So the movie is done now, do you want me to help clean up before I go?
“it = getting late; do you want to go;”
You hope you aren’t reading too far into this but you think he maybe doesn’t want you to leave yet.
You were down to watch another one if he was.
“Sweet; i =”
You were actually having a lot of fun.
He raises an eyebrow at you when you make this admission.
“Actually;”
Wait, by that you me-
“im just messing with you; yeah; i havent had a movie day with friends in a while; it = nice;”
He said friend! You were beaming at him. He returned the look albeit more tiredly.
“= you ready for the next one;”
You nodded and he pressed play.
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poguesofthebau · 5 years ago
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hi, could I get a ship? so, im 5ft, kind of a dirty/light blonde curly hair, light brown eyes but kind of hazel, small and curvy body. i’m brazilian so I’m very heartwarming. i love being in contact with nature and animals, i love reading, writing, dancing, working out, skateboarding, watching movies/tv shows, learning new languages. i’m majoring in graphic design. i’m quite the curious person and i love learning something new or just more about anything. i’m a very loyal person and im always+
 (2/3) there for everyone. im a gemini so i do talk A LOT and also overthink a lot, and im super honest and always speak my mind. im also a very private person. i love cooking and cleaning, perks of being an adult i guess. im a very calm person most of the time, i love getting in touch with myself and becoming my best version. i also praise self love because even though im not that confident (i hated myself so much for years) that nowadays i really respect myself and value me. i’m very optimistic, but+
(3/3)  im also a realistic romantic. fun fact: never actually dated a guy and its mostly because i only wanna do it if i really really like the guy. sorry i got carried away
i ship you with pope!! (honorary mention: you and jj would have the funniest, most interesting friendship. we all know how much jj loves pope, and his brain automatically copies that love to you when you guys get together. he loves you for loving pope. i can easily see jj getting into a fistfight to protect you, like maybe that comment rafe makes at midsummers, instead of being abt kie it’s about you and jj is ready to fight. also honorary mention, kie would adore you)
you would totally immediately become the mom of the group. pope never thought he had a chance with you, this beautiful girl who gives the perfect advice and keeps everyone on track. you seemed too perfect to him, but he never considered how you might feel about him. pope was the one you never had to poke or prod at. when you were with him, you got to think of the things you liked, things you wanted to share with someone you cared about. these little moment would slowly morph into more. when i say slow burn... you would be scared to fully commit to pope, not because you thought you’d find better, but because you were scared to lose someone like him. pope, on the other hand, was still convinced, even after all the time you two spent together, that you could never have feelings for him. 
one night after spending a few hours at the boneyard for a party, everyone had relocated to john b’s. kie and jj were stoned beyond belief, and a drunken sarah had dragged an even more drunken jb into a bedroom the moment everyone got back. you and pope had abandoned ship to the hammocks, agreeing that it was best to get as far away from the chaos as possible. he’d climbed into one hammock, jumping in surprise when you crawled in with him. after he realized what kind of night it was going to be, pope relaxed under your touch. he knew this side of you better than anyone-- you got a little in your own head sometimes. “do you think anything could ever make us stop being friends?”
“you mean us, like, the pogues?” you nodded, clarifying quickly. “like, any of us stop being friends with any of the others.” he nodded, thinking intently before shaking his head. “i don’t think so.” “how can you be sure, though? what if something happens?” pope looked at you, discreetly admiring your concern over something that seemed to arbitrary. “we’re family. and not like the normal families on the cut. we’re like, a kook family. they really ride for each other in figure 8, i hear.” you’d laugh at that, your gaze lingering on your friend. “what about us?” you’d say before thinking twice. “what do you mean, us? like,” he waved a hand between the two of you. “you and me, us?” you nodded, eyes wide. “look, pope. i really like you, but how do we know that us being together isn’t gonna be the start of the end?” as soon as you said the words ‘i really like you,’ pope had stopped listening. more accurately, his ears stopped functioning. “pope?” you asked, waving a hand in front of his face. he grabbed the hand, his thumb pressing into your palm as your fingers curled around his. “did-- did you just say you like me?” you’d snort at the surprise in his voice. “are you serious, pope?” “was i supposed to know that you had feelings for me? because i had no fucking idea! what-- how do you like me?” you’d burst into laughter then, continuing to laugh as he continued to talk. he was rambling too fast to be cut off, so you grabbed him by the face, pulling his head down so he was looking at you. “pope. i. like. you. yes, you. pope heyward. is my crush.” “no, pope heyward is your boyfriend, because there’s no way i’m gonna take this information with a grain of salt.” “okay,” you’d laugh. “then, pope heyward is my boyfriend.” pope could’ve sworn it was a dream when you kissed him. but when he woke up in the hammock the next morning, you still had your fingers laced through his and your head on his shoulder.
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changbin-froggy-jimin · 5 years ago
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This is so long @frillyfairyprincess but I hope you like my ramblings
Moonlight:
Ok so moonlight opens the album and it’s got a really nice sound, the lyrics are so tough to get through though and especially this bit which hit a bit hard
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I think we as listenerns, and especially as fans, especially as army, sometimes forget that there are people who are listening to what we’re saying but even more than that really have to hear it if that makes sense
If someone were to look at you and say “what you have created will last a lifetime” at first it’s nice right? Who doesn’t want to hear they’ll make it through the history books, but then the self doubt slips in ‘are you good enough for that, you can barely finish (in yoongi’s case a song) whatever your working on? Is this what you want representing you?’ I think things like that slip into being something kind of really scary and upsetting words like ‘legend’ are sweet and show our support but bts, are still human, with real feelings which I feel like a lot of people forget
there’s no one else doing it like they are, there’s no one to look up to, and especially no one even close to what they’re doing, they’re alone, they can’t really make new friends because: do they like you for you, or for your money, what human connections do they have besides each other that feel genuine? Probably not many, imagine going outside to be mobbed, I even saw this clip of some girl running up and kissing yoongi and probably scarring him like, this isn’t a cute life to live, it’s not fun, they like preforming but I think there’s obvious claims throughout the whole album of wishing with some part of him to give it all back
When people make arguments about how people who are successful ‘don’t have real problems’ and should ‘go cry in their piles of money’ I kind of lose it, I don’t know where all that empathy you claimed to have went to, but you should really shut your mouth until you have to wonder wether the person eyeing you in the store window is planning on chasing you down the street and potentially hurt you because of the things you make with your own hands, not to mention most of the kpop industry hates them, but that’s another point for another lyric
What Do You Think:
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I’m kinda losing it over this because while I am 1. Not korean 2. Do not live in South Korea 3. Or obviously, do not know intricately the culture that comes with the music industry there
I have heard things, that because bts is with a smaller company, they were treated pretty bad on things like variety shows (and probably at some music shows but that I’m not sure about) because in Korea there are these three companies that were pretty unchallenged before bts came along, and the thing is some of that wariness is fair, being with a smaller label is I’ve been told, a real gamble on your chances of being mistreated, so a lot of people don’t want to support smaller companies when they know artists are safe with the bigger ones, and I’ve seen a group who was actually horribly mistreated who I actually listened to (TRCNG I think?) They were treated horribly by their label and so I don’t think people want to support that kind of thing
The issue is you’re also putting away groups like BTS, Monsta X, ATEEZ, MCND, Oneus, and more, of some of my favorite groups, and I think being not only snubbed for having a smaller label like Big Hit in Korea, but also being treated kinda badly in America by always being treated like kids or people who don’t do enough research about them and their music (which happens to every artist, but from the individual bts standpoint I still think it matters) it kinda gets under your skin in a bad way
Now, again, this is all stuff I’ve heard, it could be wrong but it is something I’ve heard from a couple of people and seems to be fairly accurate
Strange:
Now this one I’m exicited to talk about
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So as a Twenty One Pilots fan first, and person second (seriously they’re my favorite band of all time) this line made me really happy
It reminded me of the song lane boy, it’s a song that deals with the expectations of the music industry for songs on the radio that play to sound a certain way
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This line more or less is saying “sure we would make music the way you wanted, but if you were to die tomorrow, would we have been happy with what we created?” which I think is fairly hardcore, it’s also funnily enough the album Tyler (lead singer and writer) cursed the industry on is the one that got Him on the charts with 4 songs on the radio, one of them even had lyrics about never ending up on the radio it was great
Back to bts, obviously there’s a bit of a difference in the way things are done in America vs Korea, but think one could argue its more or less the same if you take out the training aspect, an artist comes and picks up a song, and is told how to dance, what their brand is, how to act in interviews, and bts still spits in people’s faces over stuff like that, which is why I think that they specifically have as big of a following as they do, because of the genuine way they present themselves
I think some of their music can be formulaic funnily enough, it’s honestly the reasons I sometimes have a hard time calling myself a fan, because there are those soft, what to me feel heartless in general, songs about how they’re so in love, soft flower pink kinda songs, here’s the thing though, even though I really dislike this kinda stuff, I can’t help but sit there and know they actually mean it unlike almost everybody else because they try hard, they genuinely mean it because they care for their fans, like, it’s fake in the fact that the lyrics mean nothing in their lives and I hate that kinda stuff, but they genuinely put effort into crafting lyrics that make people feel better and put at ease, and if it works for other people that’s fine I guess
But because we know their struggles, because we know how they feel, we know that when they say it’s going to be ok they mean it and all that mushy stuff bleh, I just prefer a different kind of song, but even their not super mushy stuff is super lyrically interesting and neat, I don’t really tend to strongly follow people who’s lyrics mean nothing to me, there are some artists I like because their music sounds good (EX: The Weeknd, ATEEZ...) but it’s always a passing interest because in the long run I don’t want to say it feels a bit hollow but yeah it kinda does
Bts has always felt genuine because I can look at them and tell they’ve been down a rough path, and because of that it comes out in who they are and what they sing/rap about so they’ve always seemed less formulaic than everybody else, even I still think bts feels like they have to put one of them songs on their albums, it still usually has cool sounds while still being super cool, like fake love for instance
I feel like I lost my point in there somewhere... sorry about that, anyways next song
Honsool:
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Ok so, while above I said it’s stupid to dislike smaller label companies but sometimes Big Hit really concerns me DO NOT GET ME WRONG I think all label have this issues and it both really scares me and makes me angry because weight is such a problem not only in the music industry, or the actor industry, but in Korea, I know that’s rich coming from somebody who doesn’t live there, but at the same time it affects so many people who I’m scared for, not even just famous people but the kids and it makes me so sad
The issue with the bts label, is the specific fact that because bts doesn’t need to censor themselves to make Big Hit happy they talk about the issues that bother them with the company themselves and fans alike and aren’t afraid to say something, I still remember the Monsta X interview where IM said “let us go on vacation starship” with what kind of seemed like the hope that the fan base could bully the company into giving them time off (I honestly think MX is worked into the ground tbh)
The issue is we know know Jimin had/has an eating disorder and I think a lot of people think it came from fans/fan pressure but imma be honest with you I think a lot of the pressure came from the company
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This is from rookie kind episode 4
It was filmed when bts were still basically babies in their first year im fairly sure, even before American hustle if I remember correctly, the thing is, before blood sweat tears era, every single one of them called each other various names and talked about weight all the time, and knowing what it did to Jimin it was always rough to watch, but to be honest I think it really affected all of them, seeing people say things to members constantly about what they’re eating (Ex: people telling JK not to eat food at night) it’s so upsetting?
The thing is, while watching summer packages/bon voyage Yoongi is almost always on some kind of diet, and it’s really kind of scary in a sense, and while I realize, that some of this could be metaphor, or even represent a different time in his life, because Yoongi does say he writes down the way he’s feeling and uses them sometimes years later, I think it’s really kind of telling that they were all kind of bullied into this ‘extremely skinny or nothing’ kind of mindset that’s so dangerous I really really am worried for all of them, I mean he did recently say that he stopped drinking and obviously this is what that song is about so there could have been any amount of time between then and now, even if I don’t think it’s a lot, sometimes I am really scared for them and what they do to their bodies
Dear My Friend:
I know I’ve been talking for far to long now, but this is just so bittersweet and sorrowful I just kinda love it a lot
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qgaje8wz-blog · 5 years ago
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Can an insurance company make me pay taxes on a loan i took out against my life insurance policy?
Can an insurance company make me pay taxes on a loan i took out against my life insurance policy?
I took out a loan on a life insurance policy. the premiums i paid had twice exceeded the amount my beneficiaries would recieve if i died. I was told that if i didn t repay the loan the only penalty would be that amount would be deducted from the pay out if i should die.I did not repay the loan and decided i did not want to keep paying on the policy because i had much better insurance. the insurance company added the cost of the loan plus a lot of interest and unbeknowst to me reported (to IRS)an amount almost 3 times larger than the loan as my additional income. Can they do this?
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