#Also added the image ID in description because there's so much so I felt like it was a better idea to put it under the cut

[torithehoshi]

I have two different readings of Concord which all depend on what I do with Whole (concept and character), to the point it feels like one one of them would be an AU and no, I'm not saying which one it is. But while I have my headcanons and "rules", I will also say that Concord without much else known is also a comedy to me.

(based off of this post)

Image ID underneath cut

[ ID: The image is a comic and cut into four panels.

In the first panel, Whole looks annoyed and is angrily saying "Okay fucking fine guys! Let's make the most fucked up sandwich ever since that's ALL you want to do!" In the second panel, he's pointing to a piece of bread that's appeared saying "I'll start first. Bread." In the third panel, Mind is pointing to a jar of peanut butter suggesting "Peanut butter." Next to him, Heart is holding up a jar of jelly, suggesting "Grape jelly." And next to him, Soul is pointing to a piece of bread, and finishing the sandwich by saying "Bread." In the last panel, Whole stares at them annoyed, with his hands pressed together and pointing at the three of them saying "Guys..."

/End ID]

[mqole]

hbjhkgvhj ok here are uh. some character designs i did abt a year ago

these are all based on the incredible @kayzero's fic zero win game, which is a rewrite of ztd with akane as the protagonist, and it has possibly THE BEST characterization of akane ive ever read- listen just. just go read it you will be enriched i promise.

im not putting an image description bc i dont know where to start (sorry!!) BUT ill put a bunch of character design notes below the cut for people who are insane like me <3333

ok first of all. i know when i sent these to kay the other day they said there were some details canon to zwg that i missed (akane's lil hoodie pocket, aoi wearing white to contrast junpei's black (which is SO inspired btw.)) so just. PRETEND those are there bc i forgor <3

i spent the most time on sigma, phi, akane, junpei and aoi just because they've had multiple iterations of designs. it was fun to take bits and pieces from each version of them, so thats why they get a feature page

you can see a lot of my little pink notes with criticisms of the ztd designs there. in general, i really dont like the ztd designs, they all feel unnaturally bland to me (although thats probably also the artstyle).

most people whove looked into the colour symbolism in zero escape are probably familiar with the whole red/blue thing: that is, theyre colours representing the morphogenetic field. akane and aoi are the most obvious examples of this. 'aka' means red, and 'ao' means blue. in the first nonary game, akane and clover wear red - the colour for transmitters - and aoi and light wear blue, the colour for recievers. in 999 proper, akane wears purple, to symbolise how she can recieve AND transmit, while junpei wears red and blue by themselves. you can do a whole analysis of these colours and i will not put it here thats a whole SEPERATE post

anyway! the actual designs!! i'll start with sigma. i wanted to reconcile his vlr design with zero ii's design, and initially i planned on giving him a coat, but it didnt really have a nice silhouette, so i ditched that idea. instead, i turned his jumpsuit from vlr into a polo shirt - much like what he has in ztd - and gave him some zero-y accessories: the white turtleneck, the belt and the gloves all come from zero's design. once id included the white turtleneck, making the pants white felt really logical. in character design, its generally best to limit the palette of colours as much as you can, so it was a good excuse to reuse a colour while also paying homage to his ztd design. i also cut his hair bc hes a scientist and he'd do that.

phi's design is a lot more like her vlr one than her ztd design. the blue coat was her hallmark accessory, and im shocked that they ditched it for ztd, so i gave it back - along with her boots and hair accessory. i kept her pants and glasses from ztd, as well as the way the bottom of her shirt is tucked into her pants. they just have a much nicer silhouette to me. between my first pass of colours and my second pass, phi's colours changed the most - i realised i had too many blue guys in the lineup, and wanted to make the colours stand out individually. so i leaned into phi's orange-ness. giving her hair accessory, pants and boots an orange hue instead of a blue one, as well as shifting her coat to a more teal colour really helped make those colours pop.

AKANE MY BESTIE!!!! her design was probably the one i had the most fun with. i basically just took her ztd design and purpled it. I did want to include some more details though - her neck scarf was in both her 999 AND vlr design, so it felt wrong not to include it. i also added some gold highlights to her design, just to complement the purple - her boots are also toned yellow, so it felt fitting. the cut of her sleeves, as well as her hair, felt really natural: i gave her the side ponytail from ztd, while letting more of her hair fall to the side to retain her silhouette from 999. i stole the sleeves wholesale from vlr akane, but can you blame me. look at that robe. its so pretty.

overall i have mixed feelings on ztd junpei as a character, but i think his darker turn is at the very least a fun direction to take him. I do like the jacket he has in his concept art. IT SURE WOULD BE NICE IF THE MODEL ALSO HAD A JACKET. his design went relatively unchanged overall, i basically just retoned his hair, gave him a button-up instead of a t-shirt, and puffered his jacket. the red and blue from his vest in 999 is reused here, but in darker, more muted tones. you can see in the corner of the drawing i played around with swapping the red and blue, but the red focus felt too edgy for junpei. the blue also pops really nicely against his dark clothes, so i kept it.

anyone who has spoken to me for more than ten seconds will know how insane i am about aoi kurashiki i mean come on my name is santa. i think a lot about his two designs: that of the first nonary game and in 999. in the first nonary game he wears a blue scarf, harkening to his role as a reciever, but in 999 he wears monochrome. my personal interpretation of this is that his 999 fit was him purposefully disguising his connection to the morphogenetic field. so post-999, since he doesnt have to worry about that, i gave him his blue back!!! his general fit is the same- his pants and shoes are artistry so obviously i kept those, and i ended up making the rest of his look black to contrast his 999 design. if i were to redesign him now wearing white, id probably go a different direction altogether. that third little drawing ive included has some test outfits for him, carlos, and maria, but i never really went anywhere with them. also i gave him dark roots to show his relation to akane a bit more. and also because i like projecting my roots always grow back SO fast

that brings us to the 4 characters introduced after vlr: carlos, mira, diana, and... maria??? yeah like i said go read zero win game. do it. maria is such a fun character. she was, coincidentally, ALSO the only character where i had to design someone from scratch. you can see i fiddled a little with colour palettes, trying to figure out how to give every character a unique look. diana and carlos' designs actually go almost unchanged here- i think dianas design in particular is actually pretty great, and works as a nice foil to luna in vlr. carlos is just kind of normal. he can have his silly polo shirt.

miras ztd design is. ugh ok look its FINE but i hate the boobie designs in zero escape because they always feel like they were designed seperately from the character. mira in zwg is still a sussy baka, but she's a lot more cordial- i enjoyed seeing her more as a snake lying in the grass. I ended up giving her green because its a fun colour to give characters who youre meant to distrust. SO MANY TIMES reading zwg i was like "oh maybe mira's chill - oh wait maybe shes not - oh wait maybe shes chill again" and i love her for that honestly. she still gets boobies because i love women but i gave her a fun little long sleeved corset top. the amount of skin she shows directly correlates to the amount you should trust her (i am only half joking.)

i wont talk about diana because honestly the only change i made was giving her a little blue strip at the bottom of her skirt, but i'll talk about maria and carlos together. carlos i kept as a little pink boy because i love him and i love pink and listen its my character design ill do what i want. maria in ztd AND in zwg experiences reverie syndrome, which is connected to the morphogenetic field. her and carlos' designs both incorporate red and blue again- (just realised diana also has red and blue. pretend that was intentional) -to show their connection to the field. yes yes i know its pink but listen its red enough. like aoi, i gave maria and carlos both different iterations of their designs. i'm less sold on carlos', but i did actually like the baggier, heavy designs for maria. with those ones she looks more depressed than she does wearing overalls, so im calling that a win. maria's was the design i was least satisfied with overall, but hey i did these like a year and a half ago and ive gotten much better since then soo.

if youve read this far this is once again a reminder to read zero win game by kayzero on ao3

[danikatze]

I felt like doing a poly ship thing! Originally this was for two characters but I messed with it a little. I feel like going into the slider part and get into some head canons :3 And I feel like keeping up the habit of adding an image description, but it's long so I put it below the cut along with hcs!

[ID: a filled in shipping meme template. A box at the top says "UNDERSTAND MY SHIP IN 5 MINUTES"

Below that are three columns, each with boxes to fill character info in. From up to down: name, a picture of said character, gender, age, sexuality and height. Each picture is a portrait from the neck up, only consisting of line art, with a uniform coloured background.

From left to right:

Masa, male, 26 years old, gay demi, 180 cm. He is shown in three quarters view. He smiles and looks at something off to the side of the viewer. His background is blue.

Matsu, male, 31 years old, bi, 165 cm. His is a profile picture, he wears a soft smile. His background is green.

Yaichi, genderfluid, 24 years old, bi ace, 167 cm. Also a portrait in three quarters view. He rests his head on the palm of his right hand, and looks amused at something off to the side of the viewer. His background is a pink-ish orange.

Below that are two more columns, on the left is a collection of "sliders" so to speak, with on each end seemingly opposing statements. On each slider three dots - coloured blue, green and orange - are placed to indicate where the three characters stand on the matter.

On the right are three rows of three simplistic and identical shapes of people. Each row is labeled with a different feeling, and the silhouettes are filled in with blue, green or orange - from the ground up, to a certain level, as if to indicate how much of said feeling they contain.

The first row says "HORNY LEVEL": the first shape is blue up to just below the groin, the second green up to the ears, and the third only has orange toes.

The second row says "AWKWARDNESS LEVEL": the first shape is blue up to the ears, the second green up to the groin, and the third orange halfway up the lower legs.

The third row says "JEALOUSY LEVEL": the first shape is blue up just above the ancles, the second green up to the neck, and the third up to the knees. /End ID

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First off: I say "bi" for Yaichi, because that's the easiest label, but it's super difficult to describe what his romantic orientation is in my head. And that's mainly because of Ane-san. I guess the best description for what I saw happening between them is queerplatonic, but Yaichi was definitely a bit in love with her.

Besides that, Yaichi supresses his feelings a lot so had his childhood been a little bit less fucked up, he may actually have fallen in love with more people of all genders. So yeah I'm gonna say bi, although I still don't think that's the right word.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Big spoon - Little spoon

Masa is almost always the big spoon because he's the biggest, but Matsu will occasionally spoon him when they're in the mood. Yaichi is always the little spoon with both Matsu and Masa.

Lends clothes - Borrows clothes

I put them all somewhere in he middle because they don't really lend or borrow each other's clothes. But Masa is most likely to lend clothes because he's big and anyone would technically be able to wear it, and Yaichi is most likely to borrow clothes, but not often Matsu or Masa's. If he were to borrow clothes it's probably Otake's, cause her stuff is pretty.

Doesn't use pet names - Uses pet names

Talked about this before at some point but none of them use terms of affection. The closest Masa comes is when he calls his boyfriends by casual versions of their name, and Matsu when he calls Masa idiot (affectionate)

Introverted - Extroverted

They're all pretty introverted, but Matsu most out of the three of them. Yaichi and Masa can handle bigger groups better, and sometimes even get energy out of it, while Matsu is exhausted afterwards. He likes being with his friends, but it just drains him 9/10

Affection through words - Affection through actions

They expressing affection verbally more often than they use pet names, but they generally show affection through actions. Now that I'm writing this I feel like Matsu's dot is too much to the right, cause he definitely prefers giving presents and physical affection, but he doesn't shy away from a heartfelt "I love you" when it comes to Yaichi and especially Masa. Yaichi snuggles and showers his boyfriends with gifts, but will not say the L word until much later into their relationship. Masa says it on a regular basis.

Confesses first - Waits for confession

Masa and Matsu confessed to each other pretty much at the same time and a bit later to Yaichi. It took Yaichi a looong while before he felt comfortable enough.

Screams about bugs - Puts bugs outside

Yaichi isn't particularly scared, but he doesn't want to come close to bugs, so if he sees one he just lets it scurry until Matsu or Masa arrives. Matsu finds them gross too, and Masa kinda likes most bugs.

Drives the car - Can't drive lol

None of them can drive obviously, cause Edo times, but if there *were* cars: Matsu would be a good driver, Masa a decent, but nervous one, and Yaichi wouldn't get his license. He'll get a taxi instead (if none of his friends are available)

Can't cook for shit - Makes dinner

They're all pretty rubbish, but Matsu can do some super basic stuff, and I feel like somewhere post canon Masa might actually like cooking a bit. He helps in Ume's kitchen when he can and Okinu likes showing him how to make some of his favourite recipes.

Dislikes PDA - Loves PDA

Yaichi will use anyone's lap as a pillow (preferably Matsu's or Masa's though), but does *not* do romantic PDA. Matsu and Masa like secret touches under the table.

Overprotective - Chill going

Masa will defend his boyfriends any time they so much as look uncomfortable. Matsu is overprotective too, but is passive aggressive about it. Yaichi does worry, but he knows he can use his wit and charm to get his boyfriends out of sticky situations, so he's generally pretty chill.

Has more relationship experience - has NO relationship experience

Matsu has a lot of experience :3c Masa has had next to none until he starts dating Matsu and Yaichi. I'm on the fence about his ex-fiance. It would be fun if they'd fooled around the tiniest bit out of curiosity. Yaichi has very little experience as well, because for most of his life he kept too much distance to form any meaningful bond with anyone.

[wherestoriescomefrom]

[Click on the image for the image description. I'm not actually sure how the alt-text works on tumblr though, so let me know if I should add the ID in the body of the post]

maryam here is gonna have me spilling every thought in my brain and then watch how fast the cancel police comes after me. @aliens-correspondent take responsibility for your actions!!

anyway to be honest this is something i'd had in my drafts for a while, because like i said, i have very many thoughts. i thought i'd make a separate post instead of reblogging the ask and adding to it though, it felt more sensible.

i really do enjoy both the book series and the tv show, but very differently!! when you read the book series though, you can actually tell that the author is starting out, especially when you compare it to six of crows. it's got those standard YA writing tropes, a chosen one, interplays with dark and light, weird love triangle with an obvious right answer, one (1) cool and fun girl who is inexplicably mean to the main heroine; you know, the usual things. the book is inoffensive in the way it pulls of these tropes, kinda meh at times. i think the problem with the book lies in the central character, or more importantly, in her framing in re grisha racism.

bardugo actually does something cool with the grishaverse, in that she doesn't try to explicitly frame racism against grisha people along the same lines as real life racism. she makes it clear that the grisha are alternatively deified and vilified, and some of the patterns of discrimination repeat themselves. i've always always ALWAYS hated depictions of magical discrimination that do the "this is a parallel to racism" because it never makes sense. real life racism has no reasons for it to exist whatsoever, but if i met someone who could control water and lightning, i'd be scared. i'd think of them as a superhero if they were good, but i'd very much be a little scared. these representations (things like x-men, or superhero universes) lean very hard on parallels to immigration, homophobia or family friendly racism to make their point, and its always stupid. i like that grishaverse leans harder on witch-hunting parallels instead, its far more logical - this has played out in real life as well. bardugo also weaves some amount of neurodivergence coded traits into her grisha characters - again, things that make sense, given the history of neurodivergence connected to witchcraft and otherness. and it works! the grisha are hunted like witches, and eventually assimilated like gods or saints.

what doesn't always work is alina, actually. bardugo did something super weird with her, with people like mal telling her she should be queen because she would be able to represent the common people. but that's the thing - even within the world of the first book, it doesn't hold up. a lot of the grisha come from small families, and there's this argument that they forget their parents but even that isn't true! zoya goes for the trips across the fold so she can meet her aunt! a lot of them remember their brothers and fathers and sisters. even alina chose the orphanage over life at the little palace all those years back didn't she?

the grisha are supposed to be elite army of witches, glamorous and gorgeous. however, even within the world of the novel everyone who makes up the army are orphans and peasants, and everyone in the country is tested for grisha powers. in fact, the world the darkling has created was explicitly done because he saw how the grisha were hunted and abused. he made them indispensable to the king, made them strong and a powerful faction in the country.

alina's character really suffers thanks to the weirdness in this framing. she's supposed to be the orphan from keramzin who can really reform the army - but she isn't the only one who was lonely and orphaned even within the army. moreover, it's never actually clear what she would like to do with the grisha army - beyond the superficial changes of seating arrangements. there was this one moment where she sees the first of nikolai's flying ships and thinks "yeah this is what i want. magic and tech to work together!" but you don't actually find out how she wants to do it. nikolai does have a vision, and he has ideas to execute it, but alina really doesn't. plus i just. i just never got the sense that alina enjoyed being a grisha.

don't get me wrong, i know her whole thing is about the price of power and how much she starts to hunger for power, but i just. never saw her having fun with her power??? show alina does tho, and that's something that's really cool, but i'll get to her in a moment. here's the bottom line: it never feels like alina has consistent motivations or clear character foundations. i don't even get the sense that she is that committed to ravka really, just that she wants to defeat the darkling because it also means a slow rise of power for her. she just doesn't feel as realised a character because there are hints of what she wants and dreams of but it all gets really overshadowed by the angst she has over not belonging and then by feeling like she's becoming a more terrible person thanks to the entire power thing idk.

which is the second problem. y'all know why people don't like mal? no for REAL do you know? not because he's a teenage boy who's entitled with his crush, that's nothing compared to how manipulative the darkling is. the REAL reason this is such a debate is because the writer fucked up! barudgo kept framing the love triangle as a choice between more power and living a normal life, and that's the whole problem!!! mal himself is at best a little irritating, but no worse than other love triangle heroes. but because this is a YA story where the choice given to young, presumably female readers is to give up your cool powers because your boyfriend feels like its taking you further and further away from him - or unaccountable power, terrible power even with a hot villain to boot. which would you choose? i know which i would and i am fully cognizant of how manipulative the darkling is. that's literally why it doesn't work, because alina has to make this ridiculous choice and it feels stupid even to outline it!! why couldn't she have kept her powers?? unlike the darkling, they were actually natural and not a result of dark magic.

it's really sad because i 100% believe this whole problem is the reason why people seriously overlook how well leigh bardugo wrote the darkling as a VILLAIN. as a love interest, sure, but she just wrote one of the most menacing villains on page and we all forget about it because everyone's busy writing think pieces on whether mal is worse than the darkling. from the beginning, there's this sense of power that the darkling evokes every time he's on the page. the first time he meets alina he acts as an amplifier to bring out her power, he commands people, he commands armies. and the more time you spend with the book, the more bardugo rations his presence: appearing at the right moments, never pushing the boundary and becoming an active villain. yet there's this malcontent about him that's so much in the vibe of the man. he's called the darkling and he promises to rid the world of the fold. he thinks alina is the answer but would rather use an amplifier on her. i think about halfway through, before baghra's reveal - i just knew this man was trouble.

she did such a good job with him!! the darkling we meet is someone who's already at the end of his "you either die a hero or live long enough to be a villain" arc. he was a hero! he saved the grisha, but eventually his quest for power has made him hungrier, with less morals and fewer reservations. he's much crueler in the books, much more manipulative, so much more FUN. the show really missed out, because they focussed on making the darkling human and real - and they really fucked up, because even tho ben barnes did a really good job he was missing a lot of the edge and sharpness of the darkling. naming him early is just one of the problems, giving him the most basic back story is just another. i think the closest he felt to the book!darkling was when alina was attacked by fjerdans, and theres that out of focus shot of him coming with the cut. absolutely chilling. we stan. but thats the last we see of this darkling right up until he makes her the antler necklace and that panty dropping line, "make me your villain." generally i think both kaz and the darkling are a bit softer in the tv show, which is strange but i was so pleased with the changes to alina's character and the casting of inej that i let it slide.

the show does a really good job of giving alina proper characterisation!! i like that they made her half asian (they could have toned down on all the racism a little tho). and the worldbuilding done with the world war era inspired posters was really good!! at least this way all of alina's angsting has a reason. plus they retconned her to make her someone who fights more, against the world she's in and it makes sense. it really feels like even the adult alina just wants to be free. plus MAL, my beloved!! you can actually see his character development from a more timid young boy to someone who has dedicated his life to alina, to making the world a love letter to her specifically. the show fucked up on a bunch of lore things, but on the whole i think the bones of the book were good enough that they could pull of a really GOOD tv show.

the last thing i love about the tv show is how it lavishes attention on things young girls like reading. like it really leans into fantasy fiction in that sense. i never cared much for tolkien but in the last few years i have latched onto female written fantasy like a burr (side note, everyone please read Sword of Kaigen). its nice to see people care so much about women as a primary demographic in consuming fantasy fiction. increasingly, fantasy fiction is becoming more and more mainstream tho, which means i have to suffer through my friends (wrong) opinions on shadow and bone tho.

anyway all i want to know is who is going to be cast as nikolai. please hes my favourite character and he was already ignored so much in his own duology.

[ghostsofmemories]

My Poetry Editing Process

hello folks! after watching @coffeeandcalligraphy‘s vlog where she talked about editing poetry, among a lot of other cool things, i realized editing poetry is pretty much the only thing i have a solid process for, so i thought i’d share mine! this is all work from a new poem titled what’s in a basement?, thanks so much to @keira-is-writing for sending the prompt on instagram!

and because of the way this website is formatted, including image descriptions is a bit impossible. so if you need IDs or just want to take a different look, i’m including a link to a copy of the document with all my comments on it! the post might have a little more detail since it’s easier for me to explain things here, but i did my best not to stray too far from my comments on the doc. 

alright, that’s enough rambling, let’s get on with it!

phase one: writing the poem

okay, so here’s the original poem with absolutely no edits.  all my works start out as prose poems because line breaks are too much to think about when i’m in the middle of a stream of consciousness. there are some exceptions but for the most part, it’s always prose poetry first.

phase two: line breaks

this is the part where i add line breaks, even if i intend for it to stay a prose poem or remove the breaks at the end. this helps visualize the poem in a different way and because the lines are shorter, it’s less convoluted and allows me to focus on individual words and the sound of the parts that the brain naturally reads together.

i usually make a couple changes here out of instinct, but for the sake of this, i've left wording, punctuation, and formatting completely alone

phase three: basic changes

anything that immediately strikes me as odd gets fixed here. i might also start getting an idea of what the poem is trying to be at this point, which is good, because i need to start thinking about it. i might consider some changes to the form and structure, too.

in the first stanza, i'm mostly noticing a lot of redundancy which tends to be my biggest flaw in my poetry, so that's what i have to look out for the most. that's the first thing i'll go through and change, plus i'll do some line edits.

most of what i'll change here is wording. i might get distracted by formatting or punctuation but i try not to, because i might lose an idea or miss an opportunity.

i labelled all the changes i decided to make if you’d like to see why i did certain things. if not, feel free to skip ahead!

1) i felt this part was redundant, so i ended up changing it 2) i wanted to push the skin simile that appears at the end of the poem 3) freeze-dried was more specific than dried up, and i also liked it better since this poem takes place in a basement (and those are cold sometimes? it makes sense to me okay?) 4) i switched rhythm and sound because you wouldn't sway to a sound, you'd sway to a rhythm. and you wouldn't be unable to stand a rhythm, you'd be overwhelmed by a sound 5) i deleted this word because it was unnecessary 6) i just liked this better than the original to be honest

I also have the bottom, small stanza highlighted because i think it needs to be reformatted or moved around the poem. putting all those similar lines next to each other can be good in a lot of cases, but for this poem in particular, i think it would be more impactful if they weren't all stuck together.

phase four: reformatting (pt 1)

(sorry if these screenshots are getting harder to read! i have to zoom further out because the poem is spread along a larger area). 

i moved around the lines of the last stanza to match my intention, which was to give the reader a metaphor to keep in mind before reading (1) , to tie the first and second stanza together (2), and to give the reader something to consider after (3). this isn’t even close to necessary for every poem, i just think it fits this one well!

phase five: reformatting/form (pt 2)

the final phase is another reformatting one, where i decide if i want to keep the line breaks or not. 

for the sake of this poem, i decided to do an in between. i thought my formatting decision for the smaller stanza made more sense if it was the only part with line breaks. i also allotted to remove punctuation from those parts because i felt that it read more along my intentions (which were, in a way, intended to act as titles, or something separate from the poem itself. i wanted to do as much as possible to clarify that they aren't part of the storyline of the poem itself, but more of a supplementary material).

that's the end of the editing "process", but in reality, i'll probably come back to this poem anywhere between a week and a month from now and make some wording changes. sometimes when i come back to a poem after a long time (especially a poem with a story), i end up getting ideas for another part of the poem and might end up adding another stanza. one time i actually added four to a poem i'd written months ago!

overall, i have no idea if this was helpful or not, but i hope it was! or, at the very least, that it shed some light on something that people don’t really talk about. 

a lot of people say that poetry isn’t meant to be edited and that it’s best in its most raw, unedited form, which might be true in some cases (i have several poems that didn’t need this intense of editing. a list of poems i won’t write was hardly edited at all before i posted it!), but i don’t think you should always consider a poem done the second you’ve finished writing it unless it’s something you’re genuinely proud of.

again, huge thanks to @keira-is-writing @coffeeandcalligraphy for making this possible! if you have any other topics you’d want me to cover in a long-form post like this, feel free to send me an ask!

poetry taglist (ask to be added/removed):

@coffeeandcalligraphy @oasis-of-you​ @alicewestwater​ @cherylinanika @keep-looking-here​ @chloeswords @bookphobe​ @chewingthescenery​ @citruson 

[fangirlovestuff]

Holding Out for a Hero- Steve Rogers x Reader Pt.3

a/n- hey lovely people!  stay safe and enjoy this one!

italics are as always for thoughts/dreams. also, it you’re reading please leave a like or reblog, it would make my day! <3

summery: You’re finally gonna find out why you’re here, at the Avengers compound!

part 2

You followed her silently. If they wanted to give you a spy mission, they would be disappointed. You knew you had no spy qualities whatsoever, so surely they did as well. Heck, you were a psych major. You entertained the possibility they wanted you to be the team shrink. Imagine that, you nearly snorted out loud at that mental image.

You entered a small room. Looked like it was some sort of a conference room.

"Sit."

You sat down, Natasha taking the seat opposite you. "Let's cut to the chase. Do you know why you're here?" You shook your head no. "Seriously? No idea?" You gave her an exasperated look. "Okay."

She opened a file that was resting on the table. "We can skip over the boring details- name, age, blah blah… ah, here it is. Your mission-- "

"Should I choose to accept it", you added humorously. You were fidgeting on the edge of your seat. "Don't interrupt me." She deadpanned and continued. "Your mission is Risk Assessment. Don't," she held her hand up, "questions when I'm finished."

"It means they found you capable of analyzing people, making sure how dangerous they really are, to us or to themselves. Sure, if they are openly holding a weapon it's not hard to tell, but some people like mind games, and they weaponize them. Others are just mentally disturbed. We've had a couple of run-ins with people like that lately, which I'm guessing is why they hired you. As a psych student who has good instincts, you should be able to identify such people and notify your team, which is us, before the threat blows up, figuratively but also could be literally. You'll come with us on missions where we think it's useful to have someone like you, so you'll need to at least be able to hold your own until we can swoop in and save you, so you will train for that. Risk Assessment is pretty risky itself. I'm actually pretty surprised they gave that to a newbie. You must be good then," she smiled and gave you a moment to digest all of the new information.

You sat in silence. After a few moments, Natasha broke it. "Questions?"

You knew she was probably expecting some professional questions about the job. You had those too, but you couldn't help but ask "Why me? I mean, I'm grateful to work with you guys, don't get me wrong, but aren't there people who would be better at this than me? People with PhDs maybe?"

"Maybe. Look, I'm not in charge of the HR department. But I do know if they chose you they had a good reason. Not anyone can work with the Avengers, "she explained. "Some are shady and could potentially leak information, some have a very strong potential leverage against us, like a bad past or big family that lives with them. Some just probably wouldn't get along with the team dynamic. Your family lives away, you don't have a criminal past, and when you quit your job no one will know where you are." At that your head snapped up at her, staring with wide eyes. "Oh it’s fine, the Avengers pay great. And you didn't really think you could keep working when you're an Avenger, did you? Being secretive is in the job description." She showed you the file, pointing to a clause that said something about "concealing information from civilian associates". You nodded at her, satisfied with the explanation. "And you seem like you'll get along with the rest of us just fine." She smiled at you, warm and assuring. You almost forget she was a trained assassin, you mused. "If they picked you, it means you're the best person for the job. More questions?"

"Yes. So I'm gonna live at the compound now? What about the others - will they? How often will I go on missions? And when is my dog gonna be here?"

"Okay, relax. One question at a time. Because you are going on missions with us you'll have to train and prep for that, so your job is pretty much full time, which also means you'll have to quit your current job. In regards to your question, while we can't force you to live here, it is very recommended. It's a long commute from your apartment to here," she smirked, "also, this the safest place for you to be. The same goes for the others. You have a choice."

You thought it over a couple of moments. It really was the safest place for you to be, so you felt like you should take the offer. Also, you might get a glance at Steve walking around shirtless, supplied the annoying part of your brain. Shut up, said the rational part of your brain. To Natasha you said "okay, I'll probably live here. What about my other questions?"

"The frequency of your missions depends mainly on you, and a bit on us as your team. As much as we would like that not to be the case, there are still bad guys in the world. Probably always will be. As an Avenger, your duty id to catch as many as them as you can, before they hurt anyone. So as long as you're in the physical and mental state to go on a mission and we need you, you'll be expected to come with us."

"Yeah, that sounds fair. What about my dog? And now that I'm going to live here, my clothes and stuff?"

"Your dog should be here by the end of the day." She smiled at your palpable relief and continued, "When I notify Tony you'll be staying here, he'll send for your stuff, so they should be here in a day or two. In the meantime, we can supply you with anything you need, just ask. Anything else?"

"that's it for now, thank you. If I have more questions who should I ask?"

"Anyone of us is fine. You can ask Jarvis where we are, or just ask him actually. And one last thing – you can talk to your teammates about your mission, but not to anyone else, and preferably not out of the compound. It's pretty obvious but still really important."

You nodded, "Yes, of course. Thank you." You smiled at her.

You walked back to the elevators. You were feeling a bit hungry, so you asked Natasha where you could get some food. "The common floor has a kitchen." "Thanks."

You exited the elevator into the common floor. Seemed like your teammates had the same idea as you, seeing as they were sitting on the sofas in the room, some open snacks being passed between them. You did a quick headcount to find that everyone was here. Including yourself, you newbies were three women and two men. The men seemed fine, and the woman you didn't know yet looked beautiful.

"Hey!" Julia noticed you standing and called you over. "Come here! How was it? Who briefed you?"

"first of all, can I have some of that?" you sat down next to Julia and pointed to the bag of chips she was holding. She handed them to you, looking at you expectantly.

"I think it went okay. Natasha briefed me. I'm doing Risk Assessment." You explained your job and they all listened. "What about you guys? Honestly, I still don't even know your names, so tell me about you all."

The guy who sat next to Sam on the plane introduced himself as Michael, "but call me Mike," he added. He said he was going to work in Research & Development, as he had a knack for tech, and that Sam briefed him. "Sam told me he didn't really understand all the tech-y words in my file, so he just let me read the part myself," Mike laughed. "He seems like a great guy."

The other guy introduced himself as Oliver. He said Rhodey briefed him, and that he was working as a mechanic. He seemed like a quiet guy, and didn't add anything else.

The pretty woman turned out to be Isabelle. She said she was one of the few people that survived a set on illegal experiments to study the affects of the super-soldier serum. "I'm probably not as strong as Captain America or the Winter Soldier, but I can hold my own in a fight. I'm going to go on missions with the Avengers!" She laughed disbelievingly. She said Bucky briefed her, and that he was sweet as sympathized with her about was she'd been through.

Julia said she was indeed going to work on the law side of the Avengers. You were happy for her, because it seemed she was very good at what she did and it wasn't a dangerous job. Pepper briefed her, and she said Pepper was truly a great woman and enjoyed talking to her a lot. "I'm sure if I get her to be friends with me, she'll totally dish about the Avengers. Or maybe even if we're not friends, she seems really frustrated with them." We all laughed at that.

"Hello," said a mechanical British voice. "I'm Jarvis. It's great to meet you all. For your information, dinner will be served soon, so you might want to head to the first floor."

"Thank you!" you all said in unison. "It will definitely take me some time to get used to that," Isabelle laughed and you agreed.

You all made your way to the first floor, to have your first meal as official Avengers.

[soudam-appreciation]

A Special Kind Of Lamp? (3)

TW:: this chapter contains depression and brief/vague mentions of s*icide. Stay safe loves!

. . .

Gundham knew he should get up. His mother had left hours ago for her job, and he felt hunger gnawing at his stomach. Heaving a sigh, he rolled his feet off the edge of his bed and let his body follow. He sat there for a moment, on the floor. The random assortment of objects that lay scattered across his room did not make his position any more comfortable. He contemplated sitting here all day doing nothing, or maybe cleaning up the mess that had been gathering for months, or perhaps even taking a shower (since gods know he could use one). Groaning, he decided against all of those things and stood, trudging out of his darkened cave without even putting on pants.

He glided down the stairs, kicking up a cloud of dust and animal fur with every sullen step. Like a ghost, he wandered through his household, barely registering the pristine condition of the place. Winding his way around the bright Victorian style living spaces, he reached his destination.

He rifled through the pantry, then the fridge, grabbing a single can of soda. Then, opening the freezer, he removed a bag of frozen tater tots and an entire tub of ice cream. Dropping them on the countertop quickly, and shaking the cold from his hands, he pushed the freezer shut with his sockless foot. Not bothering to get a plate, he pulled a spoon from a drawer somewhere and a towel from another and wrapped up the bag of frozen tots. Picking up his items, he began to leave. However, as he took a few steps, he caught a glimpse of a note on the countertop.

"Happy 21st birthday, love!" the note read. "I know you haven't felt right lately, but I thought maybe today you could go out around town! I've left some money for you, in case you want to go out and get anything!"

Gundham sighed. It was sweet of her, for certain, but he didn't know if it was alright to take her money. He certainly had enough of his own, for the time being. But then, on the other hand, was it now expected of him? Was he supposed to go out and about because his mother had both suggested and paid for it?

Lifting his frozen items, he tromped into the main living room and sat on their plush rose sofa. He opened the bag of tots, popping one into his mouth as he contemplated.

He must have spent around 20 minutes munching the solid, ice-cold chunks of potato before halfheartedly making up his mind. Standing, he briefly wondered if that meant his mind was, in fact, not made up, but he brushed that aside and wandered back to the kitchen. When the leftover frozen goods were replaced in the freezer, he scooped the money and note from the counter. Now that life down here was back to the norm, he retraced his earlier steps and returned to his room.

He switched on the light, wincing at how utterly disgusting everything looked when one could see it. The room was quickly returned to darkness.

Snatching a pair of jeans and a ratty band tee from his closet, he changed quickly and tugged on his boots. He didn't want to bother with a shower, he knew he'd lose all energy far too soon. Cold, stiff fingers ran through his greasy, tangled hair, and he considered a hairbrush. No, too much. He had to get outside, spend whatever money he had been given, and return. No need to look nice.

Shoving his arms into a dark jacket that smelled slightly of mildew and was probably a size or two too small, he trotted back down the grand staircase. He grabbed his (majorly unused) car keys from a dish by the door, checked to make certain his phone and the money were both stuffed into his pockets, and opened the door.

The light shining in his face almost made him shriek, but he caught himself and threw his arm before his eyes instead. A sudden and steady hiss pushed from his lungs, and it took far too long for him to snap out of his haze.

When he lowered his shield, he glanced at the too-bright world and rows of houses. He also caught the eye of a small group of children that had probably been playing in the street, before they noticed him. He took a moment longer to understand why he must seem so strange, and why the children were likely staring. To test his suspicion, he bared his teeth and hissed once more, this time at the kids. They scattered, screaming.

Of course, how were they to know he wasn't a vampire?

Already feeling far too strange after this interaction, he stepped fully outside. The warmth of the sun washed over him, and the soft scent of flowers drifted in the breeze. He took a long, deep breath, and closed the door behind him.

He hadn't driven in so long he wasn't sure he remembered how. After a few failed attempts at reversing, thankfully none of which ending in property damage, he finally got out of the garage. Gundham was on the road again.

For the first several minutes, Gundham's average car speed was around 10 mph. He wasn't sure he could keep the car in control if h went much faster, and he had forgotten his wallet and ID at home.

After he had been out and about for about half an hour, the sun was becoming more bearable and he could finally get nearer to the speed limit. He pulled into a parking lot at the local superstore, ending this extra-long car trip with the world's worst parking job. Whispering an apology to whoever may need to park near to him, he locked the vehicle and wove his way into the store.

Entering the building felt like an enormous undertaking. He had to get in, exhaust as much of the money as he could, and get out. Unfortunately, this also meant he had to force himself through aisle after aisle of bright lights and items he had no need for.

He spent twenty minutes simply looking for things to buy, eventually encountering the pet section. Looking only briefly, a deep unease and upset coiled in his chest. His hamsters were the only part of him that he had taken above excellent care of, and even then they had not lived past a few years. He hadn't managed to breed them at that time, and the absence of his always-present companions dampened his spirits considerably.

He pushed on, reminding himself that this was not about his Devas. This was about buying what he could and going home.

Scooping up some shampoo, he wormed through personal care and clothing aisles, ignoring nearly everything on the shelves. He made a beeline for the electronics aisle, certain he could pick something up for a fairly high amount. Unfortunately, he wasn't precisely sure where that was and got turned around quite quickly.

Somehow, he ended up in a deserted and dusty section of the store. The rows of shelves seemed nearly empty, despite being stocked full. The graphics on the packages were mostly faded as if they were quite old compared to the other items in the building. Glancing around for a hint of where he had found himself, a sign hanging above the aisles caught Gundham's eye. Upon it was printed, Old and Discontinued Stock.

Intrigued, he continued through the packed shelves, passing rows of what seemed to be ancient exercise equipment. Rows and rows of items advertising their 'as seen on TV' status in bold red (or rather, pink) spiked bubbles filled his line of sight, and remembering stupid infomercials from his slightly younger years almost made him smile out of sheer annoyance.

As he turned a corner, a slightly different item brought his attention. In large, curly letters, the banner across the front of the box crossed an image of a fairly nondescript lamp, sporting the words LoveLight™. He approached, sliding one box off of the shelf. Turning it around, he hoped to read what exactly it was supposed to do on the back of the box. Fortunately for him, that is exactly where such a description was found.

It seemed to claim something about... connecting soulmates? He wasn't sure how well it could work, but he thought he might as well buy it anyways. It was right about the amount he needed to max out the gift from his mother and return home. He didn't care much about what color the lampshade was, so he carried to the checkout the box he was already holding.

. . .

Tromping up the stairs, he dumped the bag of lamp onto his overcrowded desk. He groaned as a few stray papers slid to the floor. They gathered around the edge, adding to the steep piles of clothes and garbage that littered the area. 

He threw himself onto his bed, wrapping his favorite comforter around himself. Today had been longer than expected, and he was exhausted from his excursion, even if it was only an hour and a half. Pulling out his phone, he opened YouTube and began the first video in his feed. He didn't even try to focus as his eyes drifted shut, and sleep overtook him.

. . .

When he stirred, it was long past dark. He groaned, twisting his body sluggishly to be freed from his cocoon-like prison of the blanket. Propping himself up on his elbows, he tried to blink the sleep from his eyes. When this attempt was unsuccessful, Gundham rolled back over and tried to return to sleep. 

Unfortunately, his blankets were still too tight, and he was made painfully aware of two things. The first was how hot it was; the second was how badly he needed to pee. 

He squirmed yet more, struggling to free his arms. When he had at last accomplished this, he slowly peeled the comforter away layer by layer, until he was sitting fully clothed, shoes and all, on his bed. He tugged off his boots, exhaustion numbing his fingers, and slowly began to make his way to the bathroom. 

. . .

Sitting on the edge of his bed, he yawned and looked for something to do. The night was often when he was "productive", but tonight he still felt ready to collapse in on himself, like a dying star. What a worthless waste of space he was. 

Tonight was certainly not the first night he felt ready to give up. This was, in fact, a near-daily occurrence. However, he knew that his mother would be left alone and that he, too, was far too afraid of what lay beyond, so he instead searched for an occupation for his hands.

He settled upon the plastic bag that contained the boxed “soulmate lamp”. Lifting it, he noted that it felt a bit heavier than before, but attributed this to his cold and tired limbs. Once the box was freed from its thin plastic containment, he searched for an opening.

He examined it, locating the circular sticker that secured the cardboard. Picking at the edges with his overgrown nails, he managed to peel up the side (with great difficulty). The packaging from there was not too difficult to decipher, though it still caused mild annoyance.

Only when the lamp sat undisturbed atop his bedside table did he begin to feel the stirrings of excitement. Before, it had merely been a vessel for assuaging boredom and returning home as quickly as possible, but now it seemed to radiate a faint... hope.

He plugged it in, wincing as the bright light flicked on. Snatching the instructions from their perch beside the lamp, Gundham wrestled with the folded paper to find the directions to dimming the damned thing.

Said directions were fairly simple to find, so when he had saved his eyes from the caustic sheen, he began the calibration process.

The process was long and bothersome, it seemed. First was simple, imputing the kinds of personal information every internet-connected device needs. Each answer was written against the shade with the "specialized" pen, and submission was accompanied by a pleasant blip sound. Then came the long series of questions that needed answering, a process by which the lamp was to determine one's soulmate. This step took the greatest time of the setup, costing him nearly an hour total. If he had had anything else to do, he simply would have given up.

Finally, however, the setup was complete, and he was alerted to this by another small electronic noise. Gundham tossed aside the instructions, groaning audibly as a loading circlet began rotating against the shade. He replaced the pen in its slot at the lamp's base and leaned back against his plush comforter. The loading process took several minutes, as it ran through the extensive database of other questionnaires (or so he assumed, this was never stated in the instructions). It took quite a few minutes, long enough for him to begin to drift off to sleep.

He was awakened by yet another blip sound, this one likely stating that the final stage was complete! He bolted upright, watching the shade warily for any signs of writing.

And then, something appeared.

A hasty message scrawled in sloppy and nearly unintelligible print. It seemed rushed, letters running together on the mesh shade.

"Hi! I just got this thing and I'm super excited to talk to you!!!"

It worked.

He blinked, quietly astonished, amazed that such a device could do much of anything at all. As he sat in the dark, bewildered, another message began to appear.

"I can't wait til you get these. I'm so excited to talk to you!!"

He shook his head, strands of grimy dual-colored hair falling out of place. His chest felt tight, the sensation of someone other than his mother even speaking to him so foreign. Even if the messages did sound as if they were written by a child.

"Hey again! I hope your getting these!"

Fists tightened against wrinkled sheets. Gundham felt his stomach churn, yearning for another message.

"Today was fun! I got to hang at the Skate park! What did you do today?"

Tears pricked at his eyes, the sweetness and innocence in each message rushing over him.

"I don't have many friends. I think when we get to meet we'll be real good friends! Right?"

A lump formed in his throat, and he swallowed hard.

"Good morning! I hope you respond soon!"

One single tear dropped from his face, hitting his exposed skin.

"Hey, just seein if youre ok! I had a weird day today :("

They kept coming, messages appearing faster and faster. Was it a backlog? Were these old messages? Gundham wasn't sure.

"Guess what today is? It's my birthday! I'm 14!! How old are you?"

The tears kept coming too, streams of salty liquid flowing freely across his cheeks. He couldn't have stopped it if he tried.

"I wonder what kinds a things you like?"

Messages appeared faster and faster, quickly filling available space across the lampshade.

"I hope ya feel alright today! I still can't wait to talk to you. :)"

Gundham's vision blurred, too much to see the individual messages. Hundreds of letters blurred to nothing but glowing gold clouds, soft light filling, and obscuring, his vision.

The years of isolation began to crumble. He had tried so hard to harden his heart, to erase this feeling of crushing loneliness, and the facade he had so tirelessly built with shaking and scarred hands had started cracking from the pain. He hadn't understood how much he craved this, how desperately he had needed someone to talk to. For someone to ask if he was ok.

His body shook with sobs, ribs splintering under the pressure of the world as golden light flooded his room. Messages poured in, the light now nothing less than a glowing orb in his eyes, but he couldn't look away. He watched as more and more scribbled notes filled his mind, the emptiness usually stored in his chest now replaced with intense hurt. Love was what he needed, friends and company and care were the things he desired so desperately, the things he had never allowed himself to want.

The light began to fade, the most recent messages having used their allotted minutes. He sniffed, scrubbing tears from his eyes with harsh hands, and squinted at the lamp. Choking, he continued to press against his eyes. Perhaps if he tried, he could stop the next wave.

He caught another flicker of light, quickly leaning back toward the device to read whatever was there. Then he watched as, in real time, more words scrawled across the shade.

"Just wanted to say I still love you."

His last chance at holding back was ruined, and again he began to weep. Pushing away just enough to reach for the pen, he grabbed it with shaking fingers and raised it to the shade. Slowly, he pressed the tip against the mesh fabric and began to write.

"I'm so sorry."

[famous-aces]

Zenobia of Palmyra

Who: Septimia Zenobia Augusta (born Septimia Btzby [Bat-Zabbai], changed it to Septimia Zenobia, the name I gave as her "full name" is the name she chose as her regnal name. The name "Zenobia" basically means "child of Zeus" so just by meeting her she made her divine origins and importance clear.)

What: Empress

Where: Palmyrene (modern day Syria, potentially Arabic, Aramean, or Jewish. Active throughout the Middle East and Turkey)

When: c. 240 CE - c. 274 CE

[Image Description: coins from Emesa (now Ḥimṣ, Syria) from 272 CE. The front of the coin shows shows a portrait of Zenobia from the shoulders-up, surrounded by Greek letters.  She has a stern sharp profile with a long large nose and round chin. She has extremely curly hair that seems to be braided in the back. She is wearing a diadem. On the left (the back of the coin) it shows a full body portrait of the goddess Juno is holding a scepter.  She has her peacock and a star beside her There are more Greek letters around her. End ID] 

The coolest conqueror you have never heard of.  The asexual Alexander the Great. Warrior queen. Rebel against Rome.  Badass. In under two years Zenobia swept through the Roman East, took over, and set up her high culture court, a place where diversity and intellectualism were highly valued.

Zenobia came onto the historical stage as queen consort to the Ras Odaenathus. But then he was until assassinated, at which point his throne passed to their son, Vaballathus. Vaballathus was too young for the crown so Zenobia was appointed regent. And she pretty much took over. She had big plans for the Palmyrene Empire.

This is going to be a longish bio, like with Bessie Coleman and Joan of Arc I have been totally taken in by Zenobia's story. And I had never heard of her before a follower recommended looking into her! (Thank you whoever you were!  I didn't write down your name I am so sorry!) 

Zenobia's origins are extremely mysterious and there are a bunch of different versions of her story. She has fascinated people since her lifetime. Many different cultures, historians, and writers have given her bio/life their own unique cultural quirks. Plus there's the whole being an enemy of Rome thing, that never ends well for your legacy. I am going to try to stick to the facts rather than the legend, either the one attributed to her or the one she concocted for herself (she was very good at propaganda, too).

She has been linked to Cleopatra and the Queen of Sheba, but probably wasn't related to either of them.  She was the one who claimed to be descended from the Ptolemaic dynasty, specifically Cleopatra, of course. But odds are not even she actually believed it. The claim was a political maneuver to make her Egypian takeover look legitimate, she was a ruler coming home rather than an invader. Her actual ethnicity/ancestry is unknown. All of the ethnicities I mentioned -- Jewish, Arabic, Aramean -- have all been floated by various scholars over the centuries.

We don't even know what she looked like, really. The images that remain are idealized portraiture from her own coins. No statues or portraits have survived, potentially destroyed by the Romans. Everything else has been made long after the fact. She has been adopted as a patriotic symbol of Syria and was used as a symbol of Syrian and Arabic pride, she has been made both valiant hero and tragic damsel in the West, some say she was an idol of Catherine the Great, thanks to Egyptian magazines in the early 20th century she has become the quintessential female ruler. Some describe her as unbelievably beautiful, others describe her as a mannish tomboy. She is sometimes described as stereotypically emperor than empress in behavior, which really just means she was a very good ruler because women were supposed to be too frivolous and stupid for the crown.

[Image Description: a S£500 note from 1998. It has a green creasant on one side and a profile portrait of Zenobia on the other. She is shown with a long straight nose, curly hair pinned up, a square chin, wearing a diadem and a robe. There is a faded drawing of ruins in the middle. The bill is mostly in a green pallet. End ID]

But, what follows is the most likely story.

She was a well educated polyglot, highly intellectual, enjoyed hunting, and was probably of some noble origin, especially if she had those hobbies before marrying Odaenathus. She was apparently also fond of wrestling, less high class than the hunting thing. We know little about her family aside from the fact that she was the result of a second marriage. During this time she is often described as taking part in more male activities, like the aforementioned hunting and wrestling against boys, as well as enjoying a far better education than most, which seems reflected in her rule.

As a teenager she became the second wife of Odaenathus marrying him around 255.  Odaenathus was a loyal subordinate of Rome, and was created King of Kings and Corrector Totius Orientis (Governor of All the East) by the Roman Empire in addition to his royal titles within his own domain. He went to battle for Rome, and although the record on Zenobia is vague, at this point there are accounts that she joined her husband on campaign where she became familiar with the troops.  This friendly relationship would help her later on when she took command. It would also mean she was knowledgeable of battle and strategy and familiar with the battlefield.

Ultimately in 267 her husband and his elder son (from his previous marriage) while away from the capital. The story goes that within the day the crown went to Zenobia and Odaenathus's 10-year-old son, Vaballathus. The fact it happened so quickly would suggest she was nearby, helping her husband on the battlefield. Zenobia had no objections to her son being King and she herself remaining Queen Mother/Regent, but his title was nominal, she was the power behind the throne and everyone knew it.

She was a huge fan/patron of the arts, learning, and philosophy. Her court was one of high culture and discussion.  Zenobia was a fair and tolerant ruler, she maintained a steady, stable, and safe multi-religious, multiethnic, and multicultural kingdom and eventually that extended to her Empire. This included protections for minorities, religious or otherwise. The leaders she interacted with never objected to or were hostile toward her person, reign, rule, or court. People, including the military and her governors, liked and/or trusted her.  Any complaint about her reign comes from later sources. 

In 269 Vaballathus got the title of Persicus Maximus (Victor of Persia), implying a military victory there (certainly actually Zenobia's since the "King" was only 12 at the time and she was well known as a strategic mind, she may have even marched with her troops). And that was the beginning of the end of Zenobia's Roman loyalty.  That year she began expanding out of Vaballathus's allotted lands and into Roman territory. She wouldn't formally secede for quite some time, but she started attacking the Hell out of the fringes of the Roman Empire and Zenbodia had made it increasingly clear to her Roman connections in the East they would need to pick a side (ahem, hers) even before her campaign began.

Rome was, at the time, stretched thin and weakening.  The Emperor was fighting off Germanic threats in Italy and the Balkans, closer to the Roman center. Her reasons for ultimately just going for it in 269 are not really recorded. Or a lot of them have been put forward. It may have been she wanted more direct control over the lands she had been promised. It may have been that she felt encroached upon and undermined by Rome. It may have been concern for her country's trade routes as Rome made diplomacy sticky.  It may have been that she saw the Pax Romana weakening as the centralized Roman authority did. In the absence of direct Roman leadership she wanted to keep the region stable and prosperous. 

In the spring of 270 she marched into Provincia Arabia (Rome's Arabic Province). Between 270 and 272 she took over much of the Roman East with domains extending from Palmyra up to Antioch (Ankara, Turkey), over to Dura-Europos (Salhiyé, Syria), down to Mada'in Salih (Al-`Ula, Saudi Arabia), over to Centralish Egypt, down to the Red Sea. This encompassed important historical cities such as Aleppo, Tyre, Tripoli, Jerusalem, Petra, Memphis, Alexandria, and Baranis.  Really, conquest was a matter of months. A little over a year after she entered the Provincia Arabia, in August 271, the year was counted as "Vaballathus V" all the way in Alexandria, Egypt. In a year she had taken over most of the Roman East through brilliant military strategy, loyal followers, and a well implemented propaganda campaign.

[Image Description: the Palmyrene Empire at its height. End ID]

It was also in August of 271 that she started printing coins with her face on them throughout her Empire and she began using the title of Empresses, including adding on some Roman titles she hadn't been given. This was very open rebellion and Rome wouldn't ignore her anymore. The fairly newly crowned Emperor Aurelian had settled things enough in the West that he could afford to turn his full attention to the Empress in the East. Now, fresh from military victories of his own, Autelian marched the full might of Rome Eastward.

Faced with one of the largest and best trained armies in the ancient world, plus Rome's many loyal subordinates, it is unsurprising her Empire fell as quickly as it rose.  

In May 272 she was defeated at Emesa. She had been on that battlefield leading her troops, away from the capital, but managed to escape to it. This was the beginning of the end, however, the Romans marched on Palmyra, but Zenobia had prepared for the siege. After negotiations broke down she and Vaballathus snuck out of the city and attempted to escape to Persia to try to assemble some kind of alliance. She didn't get that far. A year after she declared herself Empress, August 272, she was in Roman captivity.

Her fate is told a few different ways from there.  She may have killed herself enroute to Rome so her captors would not be able to do what Romans always did, publicly display and humiliate her.  She may have been taken to Rome, displayed as a traitor, marched through the streets, and humiliated. From there she was either executed by the Romans or married a Roman nobleman, retiring to a villa with an as of that point unrecorded daughter. 

Her most likely end is probably the most tragic one: humiliated in Rome and then executed. It is unlikely Emperor Aurelian would have allowed her to live seeing as she committed treason, unlikely she would have married one of her captors, unlikely she had this random daughter only mentioned in this epilogue. Also damning, she doesn't turn up in the record again. Her son, Vaballathus, the only one of her children we know existed, also disappears from the record in 274, which doesn't look good for either of them. Although Aurelian occasionally went easy on his opponents, allowing them to survive in defeat and humiliation, considering that he completely obliterated Palmyra -- razing the holy sites, smashing government buildings, burning it to the ground, and literally massacring civilians -- odds are he was similarly unkind to its leaders. So, while her fate is unknown, my bet is that Zenobia and Vaballathus were executed or at least imprisoned. 

[Image Description: Zenobia, Queen of Palmyra by Harriet Hosmer (you may remember her as one of the artists Edomonia Lewis hung out with), carved after 1859. It is a marble bust showing a woman with a stern expression, maybe a little judging. She wears a crown and her hair is mostly pulled back except for two strands hanging down her shoulders. She wears a robe. Her features are definitely too Caucasian given her actual ancestry but this is unfortunately largely the case. Any ancient images of her besides her coins were destroyed. End ID.] 

Probable Orientation: Asexual (unknown romantic orientation) 

Zenobia's story has been told over and over and over again through the centuries from many different perspectives, many of them telling us as much about the historian's society as it does about Zenobia. There is one thing that remains consistent however, Zenobia didn't have much sex. Likewise Zenobia was a propagandist. She crafted her image. She could be anything, but that one detail stood out enough that everyone takes note of it.

We don't know her ancestry. We do know she avoided sex whenever possible.

She did get married, this is obviously true, but she was a noble. As I expounded upon with Elizabeth I nobility has obligations and this stretches back to the establishment of an aristocracy. If your continued power relies on blood relationships, making a baby is vital. Even if she wasn't a noble before marriage she was wanted by a monarch, that is not something anyone could turn down. If she wanted more power or authority marrying a king is a great way to do it and that means babies. 

But it was said at the time and onward that she had no interest in sex. She kept her room separate from his. After marrying she said she would only sleep with her husband for procreation, some say that she only had as much sex as she did children, which may be as few as once.

There are some who say she had other kids, but we only know one of them for sure, Vaballathus. Some other kids have been attributed to her because they have no recorded mother others, like that daughter who supposedly integrated into Rome, exist in only one account and may have been fabricated. There are modern historians who argue that her chastity is just sexism, robbing powerful women of sexuality. I would argue that is just aphobia. An allosexual woman is not more powerful than an ace one and the historical record is consistent on her disdain for sex. Some say this may have been for propaganda's sake, but I don't see any evidence of that. It seems she really just didn't want to have sex. Many male historians have turned it into a focal point. People refuse to just allow her to be ace, there must be some reason, some point to it.

Once she took over she ruled alone. It doesn't seem she was looking for anyone to rule with her nor did she have anyone on the side. No Antony to her Cleopatra.

"She would not even know her own husband, except for the purpose of conception. For when she had lain with him, she would refrain until the time of the month to see if she was pregnant; if not she would again grant an opportunity of begetting children."

-Trebellius Pollio

[image description: Queen Zenobia Addressing Her Soldiers by Giovanni Battista Tiepolo c.1725. A bright painting showing (again a very white) Zenobia on the battlefield and in armor directing her troops who listen intently. End ID]

[kristen-lockhart-blog]

Book Review of “(Im)Proper Nouns” by Donna Sparrowhawk

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Kristen Lockhart (Im)Proper Nouns By Donna Sparrowhawk Book Review

In the collection of poems, (Im)Proper Nouns, poet Donna Sparrowhawk utilizes an effortless flow and rhythm within and between her poems. Some of my favorite literary tools she uses throughout her poems are imagery and metaphors. Her collection is split into three sections, that are the nouns persons, places, and things. The poems within each section complement each other nicely as well as the three sections to form the whole collection. Sparrowhawk’s themes and imagery gives insight to a well-rounded and fulfilling life so far as well as holds hope for a fulfilling life to come. In the section titled Persons, Sparrowhawk has an array of poems, some dedicated to someone by use of their name, others with a more metaphorical title. The poem “Even Now I Listen,” is a pretty straight forward poem about the speaker’s dad. I really appreciate the glimpse into the speaker’s relationship with her father growing up. She hones in on the relationship between her and her father through her diction and metaphors.

“I know what tone you would use Soft, sliding your words under The door of my pain-induced silence.” I like the imagery that this stanza creates. I imagine a teenage daughter distraught and not wanting to talk to anyone, but her dad is the one who can truly reach her in these times. As if gently whispering through the crack of her door or sliding a letter with some heartbreak advice on it. In the last stanza, the speaker is reminiscing on times when her father could give her advice in person.

“Would you lift your eyes to mine and gently with your Fatherly tenderness, sweep the hair fallen in my eyes Remind me

To lessen fear…love more.”

She is admittedly fearful and doubtful of something throughout this poem. Perhaps, felt she was not ready to take on some things in her life without her father always being right there with her. All she has is these memories and can only imagine the advice that her father could give her now. Because of the vulnerability, I feel like this poem is a lovely and intimate glimpse into the speaker and maybe even the poet’s life. Moreover, in the poem “Not Quite a Sonnet for Susan on Her Sixtieth Birthday,” Sparrowhawk has a very compelling free form as well as great diction to portray the speaker’s feelings towards “Susan.” The poet reflects on her own use of form in which she originally intended a sonnet that actually became a free form poem.

“I tried to write you a sonnet for your birthday… abab cdcd efef gg but the fact of the matter is you are definitely free verse and otherwise and wise.”

She admittedly switches gears from a sonnet form to a free form. Moreover, I like the analogy of comparing her friend, Susan, to a free form poem herself. As well as the wordplay in “…you are definitely free, verse and otherwise, and wise.” Moreover, she utilizes lots of little comments inside of parentheses throughout the poem.

“extraordinarily fun deliciously irreverent outlandishly chi-ful (and I love it that you know what that means)”

The use of her parenthetical inserts creates more intimacy between her and the friend receiving this gift. She adds some fun, witty inside jokes and personality. And the way she describes Susan; the words she uses, “extraordinary, deliciously irreverent.” She is describing a deep admiration of everything that makes Susan the way she is. While keeping few elements of a sonnet throughout the piece, the author iterates that her Susan cannot be described in any one form. She reminisces on the first time they met recalls specific details with her imagery and describes the instant connection the friends had. I love the final line of the poem, comparing Susan to a child, having the same whimsy and wonder as a newly Sixty year old woman. And ending the poem on an ellipse as to say that her and Susan’s friendship and story is far from over. Much like in the poem about her father, the speaker creates an intimacy between not only her and the person the poem is dedicated to, but also her and the reader. She does so through the use of parentheses, her imagery in describing her memories, and her witty metaphors. The first poem in the “Places” section of the book is one of my favorites called, “Musings on a Train.” I find the setting of this poem so refreshing. She truly captures what it is to feel like you are in the story itself with this poem. “I glance out as sheep newly shorn And young, bolt as the train Whistles, and the old ewes lazily graze, Ignoring the fray.”

I am fortunate to have ridden on a train in England as well, especially as someone who lives in Florida with very few, if any, passenger trains. This poem describes to calm whimsy of riding on a train traveling past hills and grassy fields. A quite relatable stanza in this piece, is as follows:

“I doze in strange comfortable discomfort Drifting in and out, nestled against my Ferdinand’s Jacket, crumpled on the table under my head.”

Though, not all readers might have had the experience of riding a train, the images she creates can certainly come to life in the reader’s imagination. I particularly love the phrase, “comfortable discomfort,” to describe falling asleep on a train. Again, maybe not all readers would know this as exactly as described, but I feel like the sensation of trying to fall asleep on a bus or car even, can be a strangely calming scenario in a not quite so comfortable vessel. Especially if you are riding in said vehicle with a loved one. The scene described in this poem is that of a comfortable, daily event that is intimate between the speaker and a loved one. Sparrowhawk’s imagery allows the readers a glimpse into the speaker’s life because of her descriptions of this sweet life. Another one of my absolute favorite pieces is “Ballad of Equeurdreville.” Sparrowhawk’s effortless rhyme scheme creates a hilariously witty and whimsical story in this poem. I love how while reading this poem the reader gets a scene laid out in front of them of this funny banter between a traveling couple.

“My, what a pleasant urban walk! said he As she dodged the biker […] I’m sure my mate said repast was just beyond this hill A lovely place for dinner, in lovely Equeurdreville.

Why, yes, my love! cooed she to he Somewhat loudly over the roar of the passing lorry.”

From the very first line, the setting is being described as “urban” and disruptive with the biker needing to be dodged, as well as the “roar of the passing lorry.” Yet, the positive attitudes of this couple is already creating a humorous build up.

“I fear a restaurant I will never see, said he. Her reply reassuringly whispered, perhaps more a shrill— Do you think we’ll ever bloody find this Equeurdreville?”

“[…] I dare say one can look from here to eternity, said he. But no sign, no hope of food, nor drink—no, nada, nil In this, this, uh…lovely…Equeurdreville.”

The couple have a shift in attitude the longer it takes for them to find this restaurant. I particularly love the last line of that stanza; it makes it seem like a sassy narrator is reading this poem aloud to the reader. “Oh my, said she. Oh my, indeed, said he As they walked and pondered what was the key Don’t know, said she, but make out a Will Next time you suggest to me Equeurdreville!”

The final stanza after the couple had finished their long awaited meal in Equeurdreville, we get the final round of witty commentary. The poem ends on a silly joke as well, adding to the fun nature of the rest of the poem. This poem reminded me of the whimsical ways of rhyming of Dr. Seuss. This poem is different from the other poems in the collection due to its playful theme. Yet it still holds the particular style especially when it comes to Sparrowhawk’s romantic diction and intimacy between characters. The contrast in playfulness from this poem compared to more mature themes in other poems, as well as her consistent rhyming scheme shows how talented and versatile Sparrowhawk is with her writing. Finally, in the section “Things,” there is a poem entitled, “Twilight,” that has just more of that calming scenery that Sparrowhawk paints.

“It’s that time of day again… The light, in its fade Softens… Well, softens Everything.”

This opening stanza creates such a lovely setting with just a few simple phrases, which is magical. I also love the third stanza continues with this serene imagery and the fourth begins to introduce another theme into this poem.

“I wonder if the fox Will make his appearance tonight Now that you, Not I, Are absent.

“I’ve missed you today I should have been with you today, But, painfully I really couldn’t Because we You and I Know how to love.” The speaker is describing beautiful scenery yet is lonely or missing her loved one. Yet, I gather this is the type of missing someone when they are just out for the day, perhaps at work.

“I know you are on your Way back to me now.

Warm soup is waiting And music, and me,

The words can wait.”

The lines of her poetry feel comfortable and familiar. Sparrowhawk has been able to take sorrow in her poems such as this one and spin it around into hope. This entire collection of poems by Donna Sparrowhawk reflects on a life filled with beauty and love for these persons, places, and things. She uses wonderous imagery and metaphors to describe these loved ones and locations in such intimate detail. The warmth, wit and charm in her words are the ties that carry over and connect all her poems in this collection, (Im)Proper Nouns.

[ink-and-stone]

The Train Did Not Arrive

It started as a daydream, an escape from reality, as most terrible ideas tend to originate from. Now, she was waiting at a deserted train station for a train that would take her anywhere far, far away. She couldn't deny to herself that she was scared – terrified, really – but her heart was set. The digital display read that her train would be arriving in ten minutes so she sat down on one of the benches, the platform silent except for the hushed scuffle of the two people that had snuck off the platform and were shaking what appeared to be spray-paint aerosols. Nine minutes. She opened her rucksack and checked and rechecked for her things: a few sets of spare clothes; a burner phone; a non-descript pouch with her money and ID; a notebook; a pen; a mini First-Aid kit. She rubbed her hands together, adding gloves to the growing list of things she regretted not bringing, although, to be fair, she would not have been able to manage the load anyway. She wriggled the numbing toes inside her trainers. She'd forgotten spare socks too.

But there was no turning back now. Her plan was in motion and her resolve relied on her momentum. She could not afford to hesitate, to have second thoughts because she knew it would throw all her planning and care to waste. Not that she had planned much, but still. She'd burn that bridge when she got to it.

The pair of young men, or perhaps they were her own age though she couldn't tell, were laughing to each other. If she listened carefully, she could decipher their words, punctuated by laughter.

"I – can't – bloody bel-ieve you – of all people – you – did that to him, Will!"  

This came from the slightly shorter one, who held onto the bricked wall of the wide tunnel to steady himself in his fit of hysteria.

"Well," the other guy, Will, said, "I darn well did."

Another fit of youthful, masculine laughter. She sighed and leaned back on the backrest, her eyes cast upwards at the light that flickered slightly every once in a while. She held her bag tighter in her arms, an image of vulnerability, and hoped they could not see her.

She glanced back at the digital display and to her alarm, the train that had been due to arrive in ten minutes, not even five minutes ago, had no mention. The list of incoming trains and the minutes until their arrival behold blank columns. Dread, in its most tangible form, sank in her stomach, her breathing began to run irregular and her heartbeat seemed to be improvising its song.

She closed her eyes in an attempt to calm herself but opened them to be alarmed by one of the young men who had been spray-painting the tunnel, the one who wasn't called Will.

"Hey," was what he said, his smile persuading her that he was friendly.

She looked back at him blankly, and dumbly. Later than was the socially acceptable duration of time to pause, she replied, "Hi," meek as a lamb cornered by a wolf.

The smile on the other person's face seemed to slip by a degree as he shifted into awkwardness.

"Just to let you know, if you meant to catch the eleven o'clock train, it never actually comes here. Nobody ever catches it so the driver just skips the whole district--"

She replied with silence.

He still seemed oblivious to the fact that with every word he uttered, the girl before him spiralled further and further. "-- well, that's what me and Will think at least. There could be a whole other reason entirely." At the mention of his friend, he gestured towards the tunnel, where his friend was carefully peeling off the duct tape they had been using as a sort of stencil, or rule. Will gave a little wave to acknowledge his introduction, which meant to the girl that he was listening in to their conversation.

She regained her sense with a deep inhale and let go of her paranoia with an exhale. She swore an oath for good measure and laid her head back on the bench. "Thank you." Was her simple reply, uttered with her eyes still closed in a posture of placid defeat.

She didn't hear him walk away, but a few minutes later a phone rang and the person who wasn't Will answered it. He swore after a few seconds and told Will that he had to go or his mum was going "burn my computer to ash!", in his own words. Will said that it was no problem and wished him luck and when his friend was out of earshot he muttered something about how convenient it was for Jack to leave just as they were meant to pack.

Indeed, there was a lot of stuff that Will now had to carry by himself.

He tidied up methodically and systematically so he'd be able to carry the cool box as well as the carrier bags overflowing with equipment or with snacks, and the folding step-ladder. Surely, he thought to himself, Jack could have dropped off at least one bag on his way home. He gave Jack the benefit of the doubt though, realising that Jack had probably been too distracted by his mother's discovery of his sneaking out to remember that this was far too much for Will to carry alone. This was Will's way – always giving the benefit of the doubt and making excuses for others. The epitome of modern-day sainthood, many thought of him. This juxtaposed starkly with what many others thought of him: a nuisance, a devil and the list went on. Really, he was both, and the variant descriptions of him only seemed so contradictory to each other because that was simply how real-life people were. Only in books – bad books– could people so two-dimensionally written exist, with simple motives, unvarying reactions and predictable decisions. Yet, it was difficult to see Will as anything but a character out of a book, with his unjustified kindness and, still, the impatience in his step that, almost audibly, demanded "Adventure!". Will was a character not even his enemies could get enough of, who was friendly with everyone (provided they did not have the authority nor the inclination to punish his misdeeds) but only friends with a few.

He had figured out a way to carry all of his belongings and this was how: the step-ladder was hung on his shoulder, his arm peeking through the hole; a bag was balanced atop the cool box, which he held in the hand opposite the one connected to his ladder-shoulder and the final carrier bag was carried in his other hand, repeatedly clanging against the steel of the ladder. He only noticed the girl was still seated on the bench when his clamorous ongoing exit stirred her from her rest and she sat up in confusion.

Will stopped in surprise as well and felt suddenly self-conscious. Then, he felt ashamed of himself for wasting his time feeling that when this girl was obviously having a far more dreadful night. He assessed her quickly, while she assessed him.

"You're running away, then?" Will asked.

Clearly, the girl had made a far less thorough assessment of him as her eyebrows shot up in astonishment.

She nodded mutely and then again, with a bit confidence, when Will gave her an amiable smile.

"Wicked." He remarked, with genuine appreciation, "I'm Will."

The girl considered all that she knew of him, that is to say, nothing.

"I'm May."

This, for some reason, perplexed Will a very good deal, which in turn, puzzled the girl, whose name was May. "What?" She said uneasily.

"But why not April? Or June? Or November?" Will asked.

Fear of being murdered and thrown in a bush by this stranger be damned – May was very much offended by this reaction, still half-confused as she was. "November? What's wrong with May?"

He looked at her as if she was sprouting horns from her forehead.

"Be – because! May's – it's exam season for crying out loud!" He sputtered indignantly.

This response delighted May and she welcomed the distraction Will brought from her current plight, so she laughed at his absurd reply. Then she told him that his reply was absurd, to which they had a heated debate about whether or not November was a good name – or even a name in the first place. Will had put his stuff down, save for the step-ladder, and his hands gestured verbosely with his argument.

Once the topic had been thoroughly exhausted, a pause ensued.

After the ensued pause, Will said, "If you don't have a place to go, there's a spare room in my house."

This, needless to say, triggered May's alarm bells. She wasn't going to go with him to his bloody house because they'd had a good laugh about her name.

Will realised the implications of his forwardness immediately and rushed to assure her of his dignity, "It's literally across the road. You can scream bloody murder if I try to kill you."

May wasn't sure how any of that was supposed to be reassuring, but found that his need to clear his name for her gave her some courage to reply back, "Why do you even want me to come...?"

"Because..." Will shifted to his other foot. And then he gave a shrug, which in itself was a rubbish answer. "I like to have people over – it's boring not to. Anyway, it's not like there's nobody else there – my brother's home too."

These were all rubbish answers but stripped of context and instincts of self-preservation, they were also humorous, and May, after such a dreadful day, was seeing the amusing side of his answer. She didn't laugh but she couldn't hide that she wanted to laugh at his reply.

Will, ever the giver of the benefit of doubt, took her smile as a sign of trust, relaxed a bit. "My brother's only six anyway, if you were worried about that." He knew the power baby brothers had in winning hearts and said this part only to secure her trust.

Unfortunately, May was horrified, "And you left him alone at home!"

"Yes, but –"

"Oh my God! Will!"

"– he's fast asleep and if he wakes up he can just call me and I come home!"

May still looked appalled. "That's a rubbish excuse!"

"No, really, he's fine with it –"

"Oh my God!"

She had stood up and now took hold of the carrier bag atop the cool box. Will let her, glad to be relieved of its burden and victorious as May started to walk with him. She reached for the cool box, but Will ushered her away from taking anything else – he could owe it to her to at least be this chivalrous. He hadn't the faintest clue why she was agreeing to come with him, but the voice in his head was whispering, "Adventure-Adventure-Adventure", again and again and again.

"You do realise I can't pay you for this, right?" She said uneasily when they had arrived at the cramped driveway in front of Will's house.

"God – I'm not asking you to, May. That would be terrifically rude!"

May only thought that it would be terrifically logical to charge a night's rent, but had no reason to tempt him to change his mind. She followed as he opened a side door and then the door to a shed.  

He stopped unexpectedly inside the shed, as if he'd forgotten something.

"You're not going to steal anything are you?"

It was as if the realisation that he had invited a complete stranger into his home had just dawned on him.

"What if you're a serial killer?"

May assumed the question was rhetorical but, amused again by the workings of Will's brains and the way he said everything that he did say in the funniest, most absurd way possible. "You can scream bloody murder if I try to kill you."

This was a good answer, because Will seemed to relax. "Please don't. And please try not to steal. I'll tell the police."

"You can't tell the police if you're dead."

"My brother can."

This was a sort of trap because Will was looking at May expectantly. But there was no way she was going to say, even as a joke, that she'd kill his little brother.

"I guess I'd get arrested then."

This was another good answer.

He nodded at her once, and from then was their friendship sealed.

[wftc141]

Equestria's Hired Help-Chapter 2: Fancy's Job

On the next day, a lot of customers are in the bar as it is opened and Blitz and Sunset are already on their shifts working. The two works as bartenders but Blitz is also the bouncer to keep order in the bar. Mostly gangs, mercenaries or any type of criminals come to the bar but must follow Blitz and Sunset's rules meaning no fights or killing, no drugs and no intercourse.

The two also take care of drunks as they do not let them walk out to their cars and drive off drunk which most bars get shut down for allowing drunks to drive unconstipated. The money from jobs that Blitz and Sunset do is for the bar as their second job and disguise from cops.

Mostly mercenary jobs can be illegal if they're tied with criminal activity including gang affiliations. The bar used to belong a colt who worked for many years and was friends with Sunset and Blitz as there is a picture frame of him between the two. He is an earth pony with blue eyes and used to wear a white shirt and a bowler hat. Unfortunately due to an illness, he passed away leaving the bar alone which Sunset and Blitz take over to honor their friend.

After Blitz grabbed his tip from his customer, Blitz noticed a colt with a large blue hood over his head a few feet away snorting a small ounce of cocaine on the table And also the fact his body odor was as intense as horrible body spray. Blitz left his station and approached the colt behind.

"Hey, no drugs allowed here." He said, tapping his shoulder.

The colt turned around and noticed Blitz waiting for him. He only replied with a snort.

"What are you, a fucking cop?"

"No, I'm the owner of this bar," Blitz answered. "House rules. You wanna do that shit, do it outside."

The colt stood up and went up on Blitz's face. He could see his white stained nostrils nearing his eyes. "And what the fuck you gonna do if I refuse?"

He heard a slam from aside and turned around. Sunset glared at the colt, holding a sawn off shotgun on the counter.

"Like my friend said. This is our bar and you follow our rules," Sunset clarified. "No drugs. Got that?"

The colt glared at both of them for a brief moment before letting out a grunt.

"Fine."

Eventually, the colt left the bar, not before giving them the bird on his way out. Both of them brushed it off. Shortly, Sunset's phone rang. She took out her phone and stared at the ID. It only said "Unknown Caller ID"

"Hey Blitz. Cover for me?" Sunset asked.

He nodded. Sunset headed off to the backroom and closed the door shut, answering the caller.

"Hello?" Sunset asked.

"Is this Miss Shimmer?" Someone with a really deep voice asked. It sounded like it was altered by some sort of device.

"Who's asking?"

"A client."

"What do you want?"

"We need you and your lion employee in Canterlot for a job. There's an earth pony who stole something that has classified documents of our company and threatens to expose us and we would like it back...and if possible you may capture the thief to us alive. More Information will be sent to your phone. Have this done and the 1,000 dollars will be delivered, in cash. Good day and good hunting."

After the call hang up, Sunset checked her messages and found several of them with images of an apartment in Canterlot and a photo of the target who was a colt pegasus with black fur and green eyes with baggy eyes and stained lips. After reading all of the information that was given, it was time for another job for her and Blitz to do for a unknown client.

In the city of Manehattan, Starlight is walking through the police department and made her way to her office desk in a depressive mood. There were a few glares by other officers because of her past but she got used to it from time. Starlight unpacked and had her desk setup since yesterday night. Sunburst made his way to her with two cups of steaming coffee and held out a cup to her which grabbed her attention.

"You okay?" Sunburst asked.

"Yeah...so so." Starlight answered as she took the coffee from Sunburst.

"How'd it go with the family?"

"Well, the daughter said there was a shootout and she managed to get away from them without looking back."

"And you had a hard time believing that."

Starlight nodded as she does find it hard to believe by the way of the description of the crime scene there was no way Diamond Tiara would escape on foot and fly over to Ponyville to her parents.

"She's obviously hiding something." She said.

"Maybe this is a vigilante thing." Sunburst guessed, taking a gulp of coffee.

"I know a vigilante and she doesn't murder people. That's the true definition of vigilantism. The family obviously hired somepony to get their daughter back."

"Jeez Starlight, you would be detective of the month if you keep that up."

"Would be an honor. Fact is, they may not hand it to me because of that criminal record they made since I was part of an evil militia."

"It's not really a record if you're not arrested or charged. You were the one who exposed them."

"True that."

"Still, if they did hire somepony to get their daughter back...would that still count as a crime?"

Starlight then gives Sunburst a look that shouted 'seriously'.

"Sun...three Griffons are dead."

"Three gangbangers are dead." Sunburst added, holding up three fingers. "Don't get me wrong, I would bring justice but you gotta face the fact that they had it coming when they were kidnapping little girls for their sickening trafficking business and they were gonna do the same to Diamond and Silver. Silver's already dead and that must've made the Rich Family lose faith in the police, just like every other pony in this damned town."

Starlight then starts to stare at something which is a small picture frame of her smiling with a familiar mare which is a alicorn with violet eyes and dressed as a royalty. The frame caught her attention as she's worried about her friend who has been missing for a few years along with her five friends.

"How long has it been since they've been missing?" Starlight muttered.

"What's that?"

Starlight came back to real life as she noticed Sunburst was looking at her in a confused look as he heard her muttered out loud.

"Oh, nothing. Just talking to myself."

The next day, Sunset and Blitz took an hour drive to Canterlot first thing in the morning in a not-so clean but functional white Audi sedan. They arrived via the gate border of Manehattan. First impressions: neat, expensive, snooty and awashed with pampered ponies.

"So who this guy we're after again?" Blitz asked, taking a sip from a soda can.

"Some freelance journalist named Jackpot Bronco," Sunset answered. "Apparently he stole a thumb drive from our client. Must be some sort of executive company."

"Coulda just sent one of their own to do it."

"They could've but ponies nowadays don't like to get their hands dirty and besides, the pay is good."

"Point taken. By the way, you mind if we stayed in Canterlot for a little while after this?"

Sunset glanced at Blitz before looking back on the road.

"Uh, sure? Why though?" Sunset asked.

"Well...You do fancy a good meal, right?" He said as he placed the empty can in the compartment. "Cause word has it that this place got the best ones. Like the five-star kinds. Something you don't see in Manehattan."

Sunset felt a bit concerned about eating with a lion in front of the ponies.

"Well, I mean sure but...aren't you a bit worried about how other ponies would feel-"

"Ugh, please. Like I said, I dealt with that shit since I first set foot on Equestria. Been called a dirty immigrant, monster and pretty much anything between a communist or a warmonger. Griffons got the same treatment as well."

"But you do know two lions came to Equestria and blew up two popular places full of innocent ponies ten years back, right? None of them would ever forgive what they've done."

"Everypony judges us over what a bunch of terrorists do. They don't take the word from the minors. Some of the lions were part of a joint operation against terrorist cells a few years back."

"But this isn't the past anymore. They don't shape anything for the future."

Eventually, Blitz sighed. "Well, if you say so, we can just go home and I'll make the dinner as usual."

"Yep. I'm way better off eating your nice food than listen to rich assholes call you a commie."

Sunset still feel a bit bad how Blitz has been usually treated. In Blitz's hometown, Panthera-Leo, his country was far worse than Equestria as there has been wars between governments and gangsters and corruptions within governments. Panthera-Leo also had terrorism as there were Lion who likes to go out on a sport hunt by killing anyone they see as prey.

A few minutes later, they arrived at the pinpointed building. The two got out of their car and headed inside. After a stack of stairs, they got to the top floor and found the door.

"Room's here right?"

She replied with a nod. The two stacked up next to the door with each of their Glock pistols drawn out. Sunset lifted up three fingers, counting down to one and clenched her fist. Blitz kicks down the door and then the two storms into the room where it is very messy with files on the floor along with empty beer cans. The two also confronted the colt who was in a middle of snorting cocaine until he stopped, startled when Sunset and Blitz stormed into his apartment room.

"Show me your hands." Sunset ordered.

"Who the fuck are you guys?"

"Doesn't matter, you stole something of an important person and he wants it back..." Blitz said.

As he continued on, the colt then starts to feel something wrong as he couldn't control his shaking nor his breathing. He also grabs his chest as something was about to explode. Blitz and Sunset look at each in confusion and then looks back at Bronco.

"Are you okay?" Blitz asked.

Bronco then gives out his last breath and collapsed backwards to the floor. Blitz and Sunset exchanged glances, confused. Blitz then went over to the body and checked for a pulse.

"Well shit," Blitz said as he let go of his neck. "He just OD'd on us."

"Kinda feel bad for the poor guy now." Sunset said.

Sunset then looks around and noticed a thumb drive on the table next to Bronco's desktop computer. She walks over to the computer and picks it up along with the flash drive attached to it.

"Well...I guess this is what our client wanted." Said Sunset.

"You sure that's the one?" Blitz asked.

"Same description from the photo they sent me."

"Then looks like our job here is done."

"What about him?" Sunset asked.

Blitz then starts to look around and then finds a wall telephone. He walks to it and starts dialing and waits for a response.

"333, what is your emergency?"

"Please! I need an ambulance!" Blitz cried in a feigned panic tone. "My friend just had a heart attack in his apartment, Room 237! Please send help!"

Blitz then hung up and then turns to Sunset, smugly.

"Problem solved."

Sunset then tilt her head to the side as she thinks that was a good plan and she and Blitz starts to walk off leaving the dead colt alone in the room with the door closed.

Later, Blitz and Sunset are now in an empty parking garage as they wait for their client to give them their flashdrive and receive their payment. Finally on time, two black SUVs and a Lincoln limousine drove up and parked in front of Blitz and Sunset. Coming out of the cars were colts in assorted suits and designer shades, making a first impression of hired bodyguards. All of a sudden, they aimed their guns at Blitz and Sunset which the two step away with their hands slightly up.

"Woah, what the fuck is this?" Blitz demanded.

"Now, now everyone. No need to draw your guns out."

The voice sounded like it came from the limousine. The door opened and a middle aged unicorn with light azure eyes, well combed hair with a mustache came out. He wore what a typical pony would wear in Canterlot - a grey suit with a purple bow tie, a white pinstripe shirt under a black vest and one eye glasses. Sunset is very surprised as she knows who she is.

"Mr Fancy Pants?"

"Who?" Blitz questioned as he turned to Sunset.

"He's a CEO executive slash celeb."

"That's right." The rich pony said. "And I believe I owe you two an apology. My team are simply misguided when it comes to which pony or lion is a hostile."

Fancy Pants then tilts his head as he was searching for someone or pony else as there was something missing.

"Mr Bronco?" Fancy Pants asked.

"He overdosed." Sunset answered.

He sighed, expecting a sight of his fearful look on his face. "That's a shame but no matter. Do you have the thumb drive?"

Sunset slowly reached into her pockets and took out the thumb drive. One of the guards went up to her and snatched it off Sunset. She watched as the guard handed the thumb drive to Fancy Pants.

"Thank you very much for retrieving this." Fancy Pants said, observing the drive with interest. "I've already transferred the money to your account as promised. I do hope we can work together again in the future and with your skills. There's alway room for a place in my business."

"Thank you Mr Fancy Pants but we're better off working alone."

He nodded. "Understandable. Also one more thing before we wrap it up...you wouldn't happen to have peeked what's inside the drive, correct?"

By the look on Fancy Pant's glare(although his eyes didn't actually flare up), Sunset was prepared to make a shield spell as she was having a bad vibe but was not going to be needed as she answered Fancy Pants truthfully.

"No. We've hardly even checked it out."

Fancy Pants continued to stare at Blitz and Sunset. Blitz has a bad feeling as he has his pistol tucked behind his pants and ready to draw if anything goes down. Few seconds later, everything eased up.

"Good," Fancy Pants said, smiling. "You both have a good night now."

Fancy Pants and his guards gets into their vehicles and drove off leaving Blitz and Sunset alone.

"Fancy Pants?" Blitz scoffed. "Seriously, what kind of a dumb name is that?"

"How should I know? I'm not the one who gave them weird names." Sunset replied.

"Whatever. You wanna get something to eat?"

"Sure and I think I know a place. Hopefully they don't mind Lions like they don't mind Griffons."

Blitz and Sunset gets into their car and ignited the engine. From a distance, somepony held a pair of binoculars, focused on the car driving out of the parking garage. He held his gaze on the car and looked away once it disappeared.

Back in Manehattan Police Department, Starlight is sitting in her office continuing to stare down at her picture frame of her friend who is missing along with five other friends while rapidly tapping her fingers on the surface. She still wish her friends are found and ok. Her day dreaming stopped when Sunburst started to walk to her direction with a folder in his hand.

"Hey, got some news from the CSI," Sunburst said as he came up to Starlight. "They managed to pick up DNA of the murderer of the last Cut-Throat Talon gangster. Get this...he's a lion."

Starlight looks at Sunburst with a surprised look.

"A lion?" Starlight asked as she takes a look of the information in the folder and was surprised that it a match for a lion. "Holy shit...what do we know about him?"

"Not much but this could be the same lion that was involved with a few incidents across Manehattan but none of them still have a clue on who he is."

"This is gonna scare the city."

"This is gonna scare all of Equestria."

Sunburst and Starlight starts to wonder who this lion is and why he's Equestria...hopefully it's not another terrorist attack that Equestria had by lions from Panthera-Leo.

[haveclotheswilltravel]

Visiting St. Petersburg, Russia in wintertime is a magical experience. You just have to be sure to bring some VERY warm clothes and adjust your itinerary accordingly. Certain famous attractions, like the Peterhof fountains, will be drained…and taking a canal ride? Yeah, that’s not happening. But don’t let that deter you – the beautiful, winter wonderland more than makes up for it, and perhaps you could replace that canal ride with a horse-drawn sleigh ride? (Yes, please!)

Now, two days means you are going to have to run to see all the highlights this beautiful city has to offer – but it is doable! As always, if you can afford more time, take it…but if you’re like us, two days may be all that you have to spare. This itinerary is meant for people who want to see the main attractions, but have a very limited timeframe.

Itinerary – 2 Days in St. Petersburg During the Winter

*Day 1 – Visit the State Hermitage Museum + St. Petersburg’s Most Important Cathedrals

The State Hermitage Museum

There are over 3 million exhibits within the Hermitage! (Including the famous “Peacock Clock.”)

Seeing St. Petersburg’s impressive cathedrals, as well as its awe-inspiring Hermitage Museum, are an absolute must! The Hermitage is home to 3 million works of art and is one of the most impressive museums I’ve ever toured. (Click here for more information on how to visit the State Hermitage Museum.)

St. Petersburg’s Main Cathedrals

Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood

It is possible to tour 3 – 5 cathedrals in St. Petersburg in one day + the Hermitage – if you move very quickly. You could see The Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood, St. Isaac’s Cathedral, St. Nicholas Naval Cathedral, Peter and Paul Cathedral and Kazan Cathedral. We made it to 4, but if I would’ve had a little more ambitious (read: woke up earlier), we could’ve made it to 5. (Click here to learn more about visiting these cathedrals.)

There are a couple things worth noting when planning your itinerary. In winter, there is not much daylight in St. Petersburg. It didn’t begin getting light out until nearly 10 am. Also, the vast majority of the places I’m suggesting are open from 10 am – 6 pm. At the time I’m writing this (February 2019), there are 2 exceptions to this – The Cathedral of Our Lady of Kazan & St. Nicholas Naval Cathedral both open at 7 am. You could begin at St. Nicholas, then go to Our Lady of Kazan then head to St. Isaac’s Cathedral and so on. You would have to spend less than 1 hour at each cathedral and a maximum of 3 hours at The Hermitage, though.

St. Nicholas Naval Cathedral

The view from out hotel room

Peter and Paul Cathedral

*Day 2 – Catherine Palace + Pavlovsk Palace + Feodorovskiy Gosudarev Cathedral

For day 2, you’ll be heading outside to the suburbs of Pavlovsk & Pushkin. I suggest beginning with Pavlovsk Palace and then going to Catherine’s Palace. (You can click here to read more about these logistics.)

Pavlovsk Palace

Pavlovsk Palace

Pavlovsk Palace was honestly my favorite part of this trip. I loved it, not only because of its breathtaking beauty and history, but because it is SO quiet. There weren’t hordes of tourists here vying for the perfect photo. I also loved wandering the grounds and seeing the horse-drawn sleighs. It felt as though I were in a fairytale. (Click here for more information about visiting Pavlovsk Palace.)

Catherine Palace

Catherine Palace

Catherine Palace is likely the most recognizable attraction on this list. Everyone wants to see this golden wonder. There are more than 200 pounds of gold decorating the inside of Catherine Palace + it’s home to the famous “Amber Room.” (Click here to learn more about visiting Catherine Palace.)

Feodorovskiy Gosudarev Cathedral

Feodorovskiy Gosudarev Cathedral

If you have the time, Feodorovskiy Gosudarev Cathedral is within a 10-15 minute drive of Catherine Palace. It is a very beautiful and quiet cathedral. Unlike the rest of the cathedrals, you’ll find in St. Petersburg, this one will hardly have any people visiting it – but it is still equally beautiful, inside and out.

More Tips for Visiting St. Petersburg During the Winter

Take This Tour

If you want to see all of these things but don’t want to figure out the logistics yourself – I highly recommend taking this two-day tour and asking for Eugenia as your guide and Igor as your driver. You will have the best tour of your life then!

Transport – Take the Subway as Often as Possible!

The subway in St. Petersburg can be a tour in and of itself! (See the gallery, below.) It’s incredibly beautiful and many signs are English friendly. Plus, you won’t want to walk everywhere in the snow and cold.

*Note: Uber & Gett Taxi apps will work in St. Petersburg. Use them if you want to take a cab.

Inside the St. Petersburg Metro

Transport – St. Petersburg to Moscow

The Sapsan Bullet Train

The Sapsan Bullet Train

These photos I took on the Sapsan Bullet Train

If you’re coming from Moscow or heading to Moscow next, taking the train is the best bet. This website will explain all the different trains you can take. However, if you’re looking to get there the quickest way possible, take either the Sapsan bullet train or the Nevsky Express Train. Things to note:

Both trains cost almost the same.

The Sapsan is new and comfortable. It’s akin to riding business class on an airplane. The Nevsky is pretty old and bumpy.

Both trains include a meal…However, the Nevsky will try to up sell you a cup of tea for a small sum of cash, whereas tea is included on the Sapsan.

So, why would you ride the Nevsky instead of the Sapsan? We did it just because it was the most convenient time available for when we were traveling. But, if you have a choice – the Sapsan is a WAY better experience. (I just thought it was worth noting that the Sapsan is not your only train option for 4 hours or less, if you can’t get the time you want for the Sapsan.)

Where to Stay

The view from out hotel room

I can’t attest for every hotel in St. Petersburg, but we stayed at the Renaissance Baltic Hotel because we were able to use our Marriott vouchers there. It was a fantastic hotel with a really good breakfast spread. It was centrally located…I mean, we could see St. Isaac’s Cathedral from our hotel room window. The staff was very friendly as well.

If you’re a Marriott Elite snob like us, though, don’t expect your status to mean much to the Renaissance Baltic Hotel. You can book using your points & vouchers here, but there’s a good chance you won’t get your free upgrades, free breakfast, points for checking in online, etc. unless you throw a little hissy fit. (Or just avoid throwing said hissy fit and reach out directly to Marriott – they’ll make sure you get all of these things.)

Booking.com (function(d, sc, u) { var s = d.createElement(sc), p = d.getElementsByTagName(sc)[0]; s.type = 'text/javascript'; s.async = true; s.src = u + '?v=' + (+new Date()); p.parentNode.insertBefore(s,p); })(document, 'script', '//aff.bstatic.com/static/affiliate_base/js/flexiproduct.js');

If anyone has any questions about visiting St. Petersburg, please feel free to ask in the comments section at the end of this post!

*Click here to see my post, “12 Things to Know Before Visiting Catherine Palace.” *Click here to see my post, “Pavlovsk Palace – Is it Worth Adding to Your St. Petersburg Itinerary?” *Click here to see my post, “The Top 5 Cathedrals Worth Seeing in St. Petersburg.” *Click here to see my post, “What to Know Before Touring the State Hermitage Museum.” *Click here to see all of my posts from Russia.

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Disclosure: some of the links in this post are affiliate links. Meaning, if you click a link and make a purchase, Have Clothes, Will Travel gets a very small commission. Thank you for supporting the brands that make this blog possible!

How to Spend 2 Days in St. Petersburg During the Winter Visiting St. Petersburg, Russia in wintertime is a magical experience. You just have to be sure to bring some VERY warm clothes and adjust your itinerary accordingly.

[elizabethjournals]

I know, I know, its May and I am just now posting my 2017 overview… I have no excuse, but here it is! Here is an overview of each month’s bullet journal layout in 2017 cover to cover!

This post may contain affiliate links

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    Introductory Pages

These are the pages I put at the beginning of the 2017 section in my notebook.

    January

January and February’s layouts were in a different notebook than the rest of the year, they were also created before I began blogging about my bullet journal. These layouts are incredibly simple and nearly identical.

  January Tools

Essential Gridline Notebook, A5 size

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens, Tropical & Assorted Colors

    February

At the end of February I had decided to switch notebooks, February is almost identical to January.

  February Tools

Essential Gridline Notebook, A5 size

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens, Tropical & Assorted Colors

    New Notebook Intro Pages

I decided to go crazy with my new notebook, and in addition to transferring over old introductory layouts, I added some trackers and a title page!

    March

March is the first month I began writing about my bullet journals on Jihi Elephant. I decided to splurge and get myself a new notebook! I was so inspired by the research I did for my Simple Bullet Journal Page Ideas post that I had to re-do the design was using before March. For this journal, I also invested in some new pens.

  March Tools

Essential Gridline Notebook, A5 size

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens, Tropical & Assorted Colors

Tombow Dual Brush Pens (# 885, 346, 158, 177, 977, 993, 475, N15)

    April

For my bullet journal in the month of April, I decided to make some changes that were much-needed. In March’s spread, I talked about some things that I needed to change and add for April. I listened to myself and made those changes.

  April Tools

Essential Gridline Notebook, A5 size

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens, Tropical & Assorted Colors

Tombow Dual Brush Pens (# 885, 346, 158, 177, 977, 993, 475, 565, 679, 847, N15)

    May

May’s bullet journal was very similar to that of April. It is simple, short, and organized.

  May Tools

Essential Gridline Notebook, A5 size

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens, Tropical & Assorted Colors

Tombow Dual Brush Pens (# 885, 346, 158, 177, 977, 993, 475, 925, 847, 992, N15)

    June

There are quite a few aesthetic changes to my bullet journal spreads from May to June. While I was doing my pages for this month, I decided that I enjoyed their functionality but had become bored with the way they looked. So, for June, I got fun and funky with fonts and ever so slightly crazy with colors.

  June Tools

Essential Gridline Notebook, A5 size

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens, Tropical & Assorted Colors

Tombow Dual Brush Pens (# 885, 346, 158, 177, 977, 993, 475, 925, 847, 679, 992, 603, N15)

    July

July was a crazy month for me with my move to North Carolina taking place and everything that goes down with such a drastic move. Because of this, I had placed a very specific list, and tracking pages smack dab in the middle of my weekly pages. I was also inspired by some bullet journal pages on Instagram and decided to get artsy. I broke out my Tombow Pens and went to work!

  July Tools

Essential Gridline Notebook, A5 size

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens, Tropical & Assorted Colors

Tombow Dual Brush Pens (# 847, 565, 925, 158, 346, 885, 977, 993, 475, 177, 679, 603, N15)

    August

August’s bullet journal spread was entirely different from the creative, artsy look of July’s spread. For August, I decided to keep it classic and clean looking. I did not stray from color or creativity, I just kept it incredibly simple and functional. With this being the first month in North Carolina, and with it being the month both work and school started, the layouts had very much changed.

  August Tools

Essential Gridline Notebook, A5 size

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens, Tropical & Assorted Colors

Tombow Dual Brush Pens (# 847, 925, 158, 346, 885, 992, 993, 177, 679, 603, N15)

    September

When I created September’s spread, my goal was to leave a lot of white space and keep it minimalistic. I had just got new fine tip pens and wanted to put them to use. I am not sure that I loved having SO much white space. I definitely improved from here.

  September Tools

Essential Gridline Notebook, A5 size

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens, Tropical & Assorted Colors

Tombow Dual Brush Pens (# 925, 346, 885, 993, 177, 679, N15)

Paper Mate InkJoy Gel Pens, Fine Point

    October

For October’s bullet journal, I chose to take a completely new approach. Until this point I had not really used tools like stickers or washi tape, I also had not utilized welcome or title pages. However, for October I created a title page that I absolutely love. I also decided to use houseplant stickers, cactus washi tape, and succulent washi tape, as well as houseplant doodles to add personality and color to my weekly layouts. I also decided to add a ton of list pages, check it out!

  October Tools

Essential Gridline Notebook, A5 size

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens, Tropical & Assorted Colors

Tombow Dual Brush Pens (# 925, 346, 993,158, 177, 977, 847, N15)

Floral Washi Tape

Paper Mate InkJoy Gel Pens, Fine Point

Houseplant stickers

Cacti & Succulent washi tape

    November

For November’s Bullet Journal planning spread, I did an experiment! I bought some letter and number stamps and tried to implement them tastefully. I really like the turnout! The stamps gave it a newspaper feel if you ask me. The theme for November’s spread (other than using stamps), was fall colors so you will see a lot of red, orange, yellow, and brown. Let’s get started!

  November Tools

Essential Gridline Notebook, A5 size

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens, Tropical & Assorted Colors

Tombow Dual Brush Pens (# 925, 847, 885, 997, N15)

Paper Mate InkJoy Gel Pens, Fine Point

Estone Number Alphabet Letter Wood Rubber Stamp

Washi tape

    December

December’s layout has a central theme: CHRISTMAS! I tried to stick with red, green, and gold. I found this beautiful hello December inspiration (with minor modifications and my own touch of course). This is the simplest and least sparkly page I created for December, featuring a reindeer!

  December Tools

Essential Gridline Notebook, A5 size

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens, Tropical & Assorted Colors

Tombow Dual Brush Pens (# 847, 158, 177, N15)

Arteza Real Brush Pens Watercolor Markers

Garage sale stamps

Silver & Gold washi tape

Floral Gold washi tape

Pilot Gold and Silver Metallic Permanent Paint Markers

    Want to keep up with my bullet journal daily? Follow my Instagram!!

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  2017 Bullet Journal Cover to Cover I know, I know, its May and I am just now posting my 2017 overview… I have no excuse, but here it is!

[notdeadjusttrash-blog]

My Friend has been Falsely Accused of Tracing So I Will Defend Him

Okay I accidentally deleted the blog I posted this one because I’m a dumbass, so I’ll just repost it here even though I don’t use this blog anymore, but apparently I still have followers. Bless caches because I was able to get this back from google caches so I don’t have to retype everything. I added further evidence and refutes to claims that were not in my original post btw.

Anyways, I am making this post to help out my good friend @5ru9 aka Falco who has been recently accused of tracing/copy pasting other people’s / official art!

I’ve known Falco for over 3 years, and we’ve grown as artists together. Once in a while we give each other advice on art (thanks for the mech and armor advice and teaching me how you line and color!), but most of the time we just meme each other.

Anyways, a lot of people have pointed out that they’ve seen him livestream before, and he’s already posted some of his block outs and other wips as proof that he does not trace in his post here:

http://5ru9.tumblr.com/post/168277137427/hello-i-have-been-informed-about-a-callout-post

To further prove his claim with solid evidence, I shall present to you!

Times he’s asked for advice on his art, or I randomly decided to mention things I notice in his WIPs!

Exhibit A-1:

A Tenkai Knight he made up! I pointed out a few things I thought were awkward about the perspective in his WIP.

Exhibit A-2:

He started working on this way back in July and didn’t finish it until much later because he was working on several other pieces at the same time. I suggested lowering the eyebrows and drawing the eyes a bit narrower to get more of the playful expression he was aiming for. In his final piece here, you can see that Falco continued to refine the piece.

By the way! The reason he sometimes posts a lot of detailed artworks one shortly after the other is because he sometimes works on multiple pieces at once! And then finishes coloring them around the same time.

Exhibit A-3

Falco and I spent good time trying to figure out why he felt like something was wrong with his sketch! I thought maybe it was the trapezius and I decided to red line (or blue line i guess) it so it’d be easier for him to see approximately where i thought the line should go to fix it.

Exhibit A-4:

The gif-ing process turned white bg into blue… anyways! Falco showed me an early version of his Tenkai Knights OC that he eventually used in an April Fool’s joke to pass off as a new character in the series. He mastered the tenkai style enough that at first glance, people really did believe it was official! Like you had to get a good look to realize Shiyu was not really a real new character! Btw I had to go into my old twitter acc to find this…. (Edit: the gif wasn’t working bc it was too big so i had to make it smaller… and choppier and stuff to fit the mb max)

Well now that brings us into!!!

Exhibit B

Some of his old art!! (I’m so sorry falco i’ll be exposing your ancient art to ppl now)

Here you can see his progress from 2014 Tenkai fan art to early 2015! It starts looking more and more like the official art, which is what he was going for.

For reference, here’s what the character Ceylan Jones/Washizaki looks like:

I blocked out fan art by everyone except falco (which i marked) that shows up in this google search. Everything else is official art. The two fan arts by falco you see here are more recent, the angel one being from 2016 and the chicken one from 2017 (i think he also made a version with sonic instead of the chicken? lol). They’re both on his dA accounts btw! The 2017 one really looks like official art, doesn’t it? But it’s his artwork! He practiced a LOT to reach that point, and I hope the earlier arts I showed above this one are enough to convince you in his art progression! Side note: i only used images w/ceylan because 1. i’m biased because ceylan is my favorite character and 2. he drew ceylan a lot because ceylan is his favorite character Also you can see his handle change from s3iwashi to burningbraven. 5ru9 is is a pretty recent handle.

ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN IN THE TENKAI FANDOM FOR A WHILE CAN VOUCH FOR HIM!!!!!

And now for the last one,

Exhibit C

WHAT? WHO IS THIS???

This is my favorite character from a Chinese series called AOTU World! His name is Grey, or 格瑞。I commissioned Falco to draw Grey for me, and let me tell you it would be IMPOSSIBLE for him to have copied any of this. Why? Because the donghua is 3D and the manhua’s art is very inconsistent!

Let me show you the reference pictures I gave him to work with!

They’re all in my gdrive folder here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1CqwH5KS-pHX0ZqLHQpoIZBi6W-gsU_Tz

This is all official art from the manhua, except the 3D model is from the donghua. Look at how inconsistent the references are! There’s no way he could have copy and pasted or traced this! Grey doesn’t even do this particular pose anywhere. lol. I told Falco “give him a cool sword pose”. (I’m sorry for being so vague, Falco! But it turned out great!!) The style he ended up drawing in was a mixture of all of them.

Btw!! here’s the blockout and the sketch he sent me before I sent my payment for the commission!! You can see his construction in the block out!! The arm construction and leg construction is light, but it’s there. You can also see the block out below the sketch. Notice he actually fixed the leg length from block out -> sketch?

ARGUMENTS AGAINST SPECIFIC ACCUSATIONS

LOOK, thte actual drawing doesn’t even match the sprites that closely. Pay attention to the collar especially. The whole frankensteining the image and then painting over it thing is just way more effort than drawing it himself. They don’t even match that well in the overlays. Like wow it’s such a crime to try and stay on model.

WHO WOULD EVEN NEED TO TRACE A MOUTH LIKE THAT? IT’S SO EASY TO DRAW. I CAN DRAW IT PERFECTLY JUST BY LOOKING AT IT. (well i AM an animator so I also do style mimicking)

Doesn’t the fact that you have to edit the sprites to match his artwork prove that you’re just a tryhard in making up fake evidence and not a tryhard enough at art since you think it’s so impossible for people to draw characters on model?

Yes he referenced the broom and possibly the heels from this image, but your overlays for the leg and arms are disingenuous and you know it. The leg positions are different, and the overlay doesn’t even match up. Face tracing also makes no sense. You literally stretched the mouth to try and make it fit but it still doesn’t fit. Do you really think it’s that hard to draw mouths and eyes in the DR style? DR faces are really simple to emulate. Also you fool, if you follow Falco’s artwork enough, you’d realize the way he draws bodies is actually rather consistent even as he does different styles. Especially when it comes to hands. His way of drawing hands is how I recognize his art and know right away it’s his art and not official art or a trace (also his coloring style). The heels he drew are also reminiscient of how he typically draws shoes/feet. he draws them bulkier. The other art has dainty heels. At most he referenced how backside works because he’s used to drawing sneakers.

Also come on, if all you referenced from an image was a broom because you liked the style (his is also clearly drawn by himself since you can’t overlay it on the other one. like i said he mostly used the style as a reference for how-to-broom) and you referenced pieces from many other images, are you going to list every single thing you referenced? While yeah it’d be nice to, it’s a little ridiculous to expect all 5-20 references whenever they post the image. It’s a thing where, if someone asks, you’d tell them, but it’s too much to list all of it. This isn’t a 20 page thesis.

If it’s such a crime, then holy shit sue all those people who parody other people’s comics and sue everyone who dares!!! to ever draw something remotely similar to someone else. Dang.

Art doesn’t live in a vacuum.

Okay, this one is just plain stupid. You distorted the sprite to match it up with his, but what would be the point for him to distort it just to trace? Also if he traced, can you explain the rest of the fingers that are drawn nicely but clearly different from the sprite? Also the thumbs don’t even match up. His faces more downward while the sprite is facing more forward. Also explain the turned body in Falco’s sketch, then!! And the hair! OH WAIT YOU CAN’T EXPLAIN IT BY ANY OTHER WAY THAN HE DREW IT HIMSELF!!! BECAUSE NO SPRITES MATCH IT AND YOU CAN’T FIND ANY SPRITES TO DISTORT ENOUGH TO EVEN GET CLOSE TO MAKING FAKE EVIDENCE FOR IT.

By the way, the style he drew it in is closer to the drv3 than this sprite. while it’s pretty much the same style as the older games, drv3′s art is more refined than the older games. Falco’s art is also more refined as you can see. (wow not only did falco’s art improved from back when we first met; even professional artists improve. shocker. /s)

Dude what the hell? The overlays don’t even match up even ifi you tried to frankenstein them. And these are really common poses at really common angles, and once again, must every single thing we reference from be listed in the description of every place we post an image? Let me just list all 30 videos and 50 images i used as reference for one of my prints. jfc.

As for the saihara animation based on the digimon opening animation? It was pretty clear to everyone that it’s some kind of parody. Many people when making parody animations don’t mention the original video either?? It’s a fun thing for fans of the franchise to recognize the reference themselves. Yes he could have said it was the digimon opening on the description, but at least he didn’t say he thought of the idea himself? And if you talk to him about the animation, he will openly tell you it’s from digimon. And the fact that you think it’s a trace despite how much the overlays do NOT work out is practically proof that you’re just doing this maliciously and hoping that saying he traces enough with shoddy evidence will make people believe you.

ALSO PEOPLE LITERALLY TRACE ANIMATIONS TO MAKE PARODIES OF, DOWN THE STYLE WHERE ALL THEY CHANGE IS THE HAIR AND OUTFIT, AND YET SOMETHING WITH DIFFERENCES EVEN DOWN TO THE STYLE LIKE THIS IS SOMETHING YOU THINK IS A TRACE? Do you need a new pair of glasses?

I was gonna ignore this one because it was the same as a lot of the others, but you literally erased Falco’s face line so it would match the sprite, and you covered the bigger boobs Falco gave her, and totally ignored that the angle doesn’t even match properly. Like you covered parts of his sketch in your overlay just to make it look more like it matches, but if you actually fucking overlayed it correctly, even with squashing it, it won’t fit. (Also sorry to point this out Falco, but the circles on your goggle lenses are too small compared to the sprite; Maybe if you actually traced like this person claims you’re doing, they’d be perfectly like the sprite. OH BUT WAIT YOU DREW IT YOURSELF SO OF COURSE THERE’S SOME DIFFERENCES. JUST LIKE HOW EVEN THOUGH ALL YOUR OTHER WORKS ARE REALLY CLOSE TO THE STYLE AND PRETTY MUCH ON MODEL, THEY’RE NOT EXACTLY THE SAME WITH THE SPRITES! SHOCKER...!)

HOLY FUCK. I already pointed out and gave evidence that Falco started on the Nier Automata drawing waaaaaaay before he posted the actual picture. The 2 sketches are sketches! They don’t take a super long time. I busted out 10 inktobers in 1 day. (thumbnails of my artwork below)

Look I even even lined and colored 5 fairly detailed chibis in 1 day (i did the sketches earlier though. btw i hand drew the plaid on ray. it was annoying)

At the moment I have 5 wips. They’ll likely all be done around the same time. I know Falco often has multiple wips as well, and sometimes he also finishes some of them close to each other. Some artists (like my friend Fish) can pump out extremely detailed paintings in less than a day. WOW some artists can draw at a fairly fast rate. WHO KNEW? (manga artists in weekly magazines pump out 15-20 pages of manga in a week)

He’s still developing a style; he’s mostly doing style mimics of series he likes in the mean time.

At the moment he’s mostly experimenting with the drv3 style, but he was practicing p5 earlier. By the way, he DESIGNED a phantom outfit for mishima. Who the heck would he copy that from? He made it up because he loved mishima and wanted to make him part of the gang in some AU fan art. Mishima doesn’t have artwork like this for him to trace, so it should be obvious it’s his own work.

And the pokemon and crash bandicoot ones are actually not that close. The pokemon one looks like a good attempt at imitating the pokemon style, but since he hasn’t practiced it enough, you can tell it’s a little off model because, well, he drew it himself and doesn’t practice the pokemon style a lot. Same with the crash one. Had it been a trace, with his level of control over his lines (which you can’t refute), it would have been much closer.

And you act like it’s a crime to imitate others’ art style. It’s really not. What is wrong with you? Do you want to slow down animation production by only letting the character designer draw everything? Or do you want animation where the art has 0 semblance of consistency because all the artists draw in vastly different styles? lol. What do you have against artists that try to stay on model?

LOL THIS IS ONE IS SO STUPID WHERE DO I EVEN START?

Oh, I KNOW. Why don’t I do that same pose with my own hands?

IT’S A MIDDLE FINGER, YOU IDIOT.

Just because YOU don’t know basic anatomy and can’t tell a middle finger from a pinky, doesn’t mean everyone else is as incompetent as you. He wasn’t doing the rock-on hand pose (sry idk if that pose actually has a name lol), and he’s drawn the rock-on hand pose properly before.

Closing statement

I believe I covered a lot of things and provided a lot of evidence here that Falco and his other friends did not cover in his defense against the false accusations.

I even added more counter arguments in this repost because apparently my original post wasn’t enough to convince people.

Perhaps the person calling him out meant well (no, I doubt it because they made a new side blog just to diss him because they knew if they did it on their actual blog, they’d be called out for being a jerk), but they did not do enough digging to find out if their claims were true or not (and they probably know well enough that they MADE UP THEIR EVIDENCE).

If you’re going to make a call out post, please make triple sure sure of everything before you accuse people. Talk to them first. Talk to those who know them too.

Many jobs require you to be able to draw characters exactly in the style given. Animators for example! There are multiple animators working on one series, and they all need the skill to draw consistently! Some games also have teams that need to be able to draw in the same style so they don’t have to leave everything up to one person. Comic artists often have assistants that help them draw background characters, but those background characters can’t be too different from the main style either.

As for the people who believed the call out post before, it’s perfectly understandable. I am also guilty of falling for similar posts in the past. Due to that, I decided it was best to double check before retweeting (i say retweet because i use twitter far more than tumblr these days. heck i almost never post anything on this blog) things, and if i wasn’t sure, I would just leave it be.

I hope my post was able to convince you on Falco’s innocence and all his hard work. And if you already believed him but checked out this post anyways… Thanks! ObligatoryPleaseWatchAotuWorld.

And again:

Art does NOT exist in a vacuum. All artists are influenced by each other and MANY artists, especially professionals, use a lot of references, whether it be from photographers, their own pictures, others’ artwork, life, or whatever. We all use many different resources. If you’re going to say that’s wrong, you just dismissed millions of artists in the world.

[ethanfearon]

Portfolio Research | Original Sketches and Wire-framing

After getting my initial ideas settled and having the motivation I started to design my portfolio from the base level of wire framing, this time I took a different approach to wire framing, I found in the past that I would develop tons of wireframes and sketches of icons and in the end I would only use one and the others that I did make were ones that I wasn’t really happy with the being with, so to save time I decided to use my iPad Pro to create the wireframes on procreate and then create the best version I could in my head, after id done this I then rub out the parts that didn’t work and replace them with versions that did.

This saved me TONS of time however it did result in me only having a small amount of wireframes.

I decided that I would have 4 mains pages, the landing page, about, work and shop, the shop would be created as part of my IXD302 module but since its part of my portfolio I wanted it to the follow the same theme so it felt appropriate to kill 2 birds with one stone.

After deciding on the amount of pages I moved onto creating the initial sketch/ wireframe for each of the pages.

*Landing page*

With the landing page I really wanted to capture that feeling that I got whenever I first loaded Alice lees page with the way that she displayed her illustrations with that massive Landing hero image and the subsequent images following that, however because im not as well know I felt that it needed a little more explanation than mystery like her work so I combined both hers and Vic Bells styles into a card system, each card would have an illustration and then a description beside it.

For the Nav I made it super simple like Alice lees just my visual mark which I felt looked cooler that my monogram and represented me more and then my word mark, one thing that I found was that my wordmark didnt work as well with my visual mark as it did with monogram but thats something that I need to fix in the future.

The footer I looked at both Vic Bells and Alices and tried to incorporate them into a single design that reflected both but also had my own touch to it, to do this I used my voice and tone for the footer encouraging users to get in touch with me, as well as adding my visual mark and a newsletter subscription area, this is something that im hoping to start after the new year after ive managed to complete these assignments and I have a little more free time.

*Work Page*

For the work page I wanted a really simple layout where the user just had a continuous scroll of my work, in the future I hope to add different sections to this design but for now the initial idea is that a user would just scroll and they would see my work in order from most recent to oldest, I did this because I wanted to show my most recent work as previous work may contain methods that I no longer use and it also allows users to see how my work has progressed over time, older projects that I want to show off are most likely going to be displayed as case studies under a featured projects tab or something similar that nature.

Again I used the same nav design to make sure that I achieved continuity across all my pages, the footer is also the same to make sure that continuity is achieved.

*About page*

The about page is something that I hadn’t given much thought as it was something that I wasn’t really comfortable developing, something that I have noticed about myself is that im super private I dont post anything on social media let alone make a page entirely about me, so I decided to make it reflect my spacey personality more, I kept the idea of having a hero image on each page the way that Alice Lee does but also I wanted to have an illustration or photo of me on the page as well (it was always going to an illustration till im a Hollister model).

As well as this I wanted to give a couple more details about me such as my skills and qualifications as well as a button or hyperlink to download my CV so the user has less steps to achieve their goal, in my mind the only reason the user would visit the about page was to find more about me and to potentially get in contact, by giving them some crucial information and providing them with my CV right off the bat then they are more likely to get in contact quicker.

These are super simple wireframes and some might argue that this isn’t enough and that my research into these wireframes should be more but I think the best way for me to create this portfolio is just the build the design from a small selection of wireframes and there I will find the flaws in their design if it doesn’t look right.

With the wireframes done im going to move onto creating a high res mockup of how I would like all these pages to look before I decide whether I can code the website or I will need to use a no code tool like Webflow.

[movietvtechgeeks]

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'Supernatural' Various & Sundry Villains: Kill Your Darlings

Okay, I’m going to be upfront, I was ready to be super underwhelmed by last week’s Supernatural episode “Various & Sundry Villains.” All of the promotion focused on the love spell, and frankly, we’ve been there, done that. In fact, I’m shocked that showrunner Andrew Dabb let this pitch go to script given that he wrote the controversial episode “Season 7 Time for a Wedding”, an episode that I can honestly say has only one truly redeeming quality: Leslie Odom, Jr. was in it. While this was arguably derivative of that episode, giving this the go ahead was risky on Dabb’s part. It paid off for writer, Steve Yockey, because this love spell outing was much better than the last. In the opening of this episode we meet the Plum sisters, and I hate to say this, but despite watching this episode three times I don’t actually remember their first names and I could barely tell them apart anyway, so we’ll just call the one Dean “falls in love with” Harley Quinn and the other one we’ll call… Harley Quinn’s little sister? Yeah, sure, why not? Between the cutesy valley girl verbiage and the bloody sledgehammer, I’m sure we were supposed to get an Arkham Asylum vibe off these two. At least, I really hope that was the intention. I’ll be honest, I was not impressed with these characters and I’m not sure if it was off writing, off casting, or off directing, but they felt really forced. From their overly stereotypical Millenial way of speaking to their overtly blatant mirroring of Sam and Dean (yes, we get it, one is younger and brainy, they other is older and protective, they’re obsessed with their dead mom and it could go badly, was that a hammer they were using or an anvil?) the Plum sisters, unlike their Winchester counterparts, came off as grating. Maybe they were supposed to? Again, I hope so. I will say that as a horror buff I enjoyed the return of Rowena’s mad dog spell and the demise of the Plum sisters at each other’s hands. I saw a lot of people say it was too much, too gratuitous, too gory. And perhaps it was, but given the movies I regularly watch and enjoy, well, I embraced it. While I will say I’m glad the love spell portion of the episode was short-lived, it’s always fun to see Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki show off their comedy elbow chops; Ackles with the perfectly timed glibness he brings to Dean Winchester and Padalecki’s Sam Winchester, ever the earnest Abbott to Ackles’ Costello, was subtle, stoic faced gold. Ackles and Padalecki got to play off each other magnificently in this episode; from Dean walking in practically floating on a love cloud, to Sam trying desperately to remind Dean they’ve been down this weird love spell road before, to Ackles’ delivery of “‘cause she’s got a sister”, to their tussle in front of the Impala (though, dang, these boys horseplay hard given the butt dent Sam left on the hood after Dean rushed him) the two actors smoothly show how well they work together no matter the material. But the star of this episode was Rowena. Her entrance was stellar, and she stole every scene. Ruth Connell is delightful in this role and for the most part (we’ll get to that later) I was glad to see her back because I was sorry to lose her last season, especially in such a cheap, off-screen way. I’m hard-pressed to fall for new characters, but Rowena is one that I really enjoy. Connell was able to give us comedy and tragedy in this episode, going from snark to desperation fluidly. I also have to give Steve Yockey heaps of credit for having Rowena not only ask about Crowley but allowing her to have an outburst about his death. Hearing her say that she’d rather have him alive than to have died a hero hit really close to home given that the lack of Mark Sheppard as Crowley has been quite the gaping hole this season. Take a note from Yockey, other writers, because I’m still waiting for Castiel to ask about Meg… Speaking of Castiel, he and Lucifer were locked up. Now they aren’t. And like, they had a whole big penis to penis measurement contest and Castiel for some reason tried to hurt Lucifer by telling him that Jack doesn’t even look like him, which… um, Lucifer is in the image of a seasons dead vessel so, of course, he doesn’t look like him. And also, when did you get to know so much about Jack, Castiel? I think maybe the writer accidentally gave Misha Collins some of Sam’s lines to say. If I sound like I was less than moved by any of these scenes, it’s because I wasn’t. The scenes weren’t objectively bad or anything, and not only has Mark Pellegrino has found his footing as Lucifer again, but he and Collins play extremely well off each other. Unfortunately, their scenes simply didn’t mesh well with the “A” plot and the dichotomy crashed the episode’s momentum. Although, I did enjoy both characters reminding each other what untrustworthy, hypocritical screw-ups both have been. Again, I appreciate it when Supernatural is self-aware like that because fallibility gives depth and interest. Now, you didn’t think I was going to review this episode and not talk about Sam and Rowena sharing their trauma, did you? Because that was a scene that many Supernatural fans have waited years for. In season 11, Sam was forced to not only work with Lucifer, but he had to allow Lucifer into his home, into his room, and wasn’t allowed to voice any grievances about it and while Padalecki did a phenomenal job adding little twitches and moments of tight body language and subtle distance, it was all too obvious that the writers were wary of taking Sam’s trauma seriously because at the time Lucifer was possessing Castiel’s body and the “Cassifer" version of Lucifer was played mostly as a joke throughout that entire arc, nothing but a bratty teenager throwing a tantrum, while Sam Winchester, the boy who had every reason to rip into both Lucifer and God, just stood on the sidelines silently like he was totally fine. But he wasn’t, he hasn’t been, and watching Sam and Rowena both delve into the trauma and abuse they experienced at Lucifer’s hand was fantastically written and acted. Yockey was able to give the characters just enough for them to convey, through their tone, inflections, and facial expressions how much they were, no are, broken by the Devil himself. Having them both admit to seeing Lucifer’s real face, while giving no descriptive details was brilliant. Both Padalecki and Connell were able to communicate to the audience how horrific it was for their characters without any unnecessary detail. Such a great “show, don’t tell” moment; it’s so much more frightening for the viewer to fill in the blanks. And Sam explaining that it isn’t that he’s okay, it’s that he never gets the chance to fully deal with his trauma because the world is always falling apart was both heartbreaking and much needed, not only for Sam to say it but for the audience to hear it. At the end of this episode we got to see the other side of the Ackles/Padalecki chemistry, their ability to rip your heart out, when Sam and Dean have a frank discussion back at the bunker about what to do going forward. Dean knowing that Sam gave Rowena the spell she wanted and instead of yelling and belittling him, he’s simply honest and direct with him and doesn’t question Sam when he says that if Rowena played him again, he’ll personally kill her. It was also good to hear Sam be open with Dean about how defeated he feels, about how he tried to mask that with conviction and hope, but that he can’t fake it til he makes it anymore. And while Dean’s words of encouragement and confidence may seemingly ring hollow to Sam, it’s not because Sam doesn’t have faith in Dean, it’s that right now he can’t see where Dean is coming from. Dean knows, because characters have told him for years, how important he and Sam are, how they keep this world spinning, but Sam has never heard it directly, not from God, not from Amara, not from Death, not from Billie. Those declarations have only been uttered to Dean and then conveyed by Dean to Sam, so Dean knows that they’ll figure out a way, that it’s basically destiny and Sam has no choice but to take Dean’s word for it. I could go on and on about the isolation of Sam Winchester, but that’s an article for a different day. [caption id="attachment_53290" align="aligncenter" width="696"] Photo: Home of the Nutty[/caption] Overall, this was a mytharc episode done well, slightly overstuffed as most mytharc episodes are, but coherent and well paced with a fantastic blend of horror, levity, and angst. That said, the last thing I want to touch on for this episode is something that was absolutely no fault of the writer, Steve Yockey, but I think is an increasing problem on Supernatural; the element of surprise is gone, as are the stakes. Supernatural was once known as a show where rocks fell, and everyone died. It was also a show where Jim Beaver once hid his reprisal of Bobby Singer by trying to convince fandom that he was in Vancouver shooting an abominable snowman movie so that his return to the show wasn’t spoiled Fast forward just a few years and the cast, crew, and network PR are spoiling character reveals weeks, even months in advance. Instead of being shocked by Rowena’s return we all went into this episode waiting for her appearance, and while we saw Castiel stab Lucifer with an angel blade; saw the red light go out of Lucifer’s eyes; it’s all for naught. Lucifer is the focus of the promo that aired right after the episode, and the synopsis for the next episode lays out exactly what he’ll be up to. Even last season finale, no one believed Castiel was actually permanently dead. Hell, it took Mark Sheppard declaring that he refuses to ever reprise his role for fans to believe Crowley was truly dead. No stakes means no emotional payoff. No secrecy means no shock and awe. Take a page from some of the greats, Supernatural, including yourself: what’s dead should stay dead, so kill your darlings and if you must bring them back, stop telegraphing their returns. Check out this week's Supernatural Devil's Bargain trailer above.

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