#Also Me: The Valley calls to me! Oooh remember to put that thing in the fic!

[running-on-coffee-and-anxiety]

Today is a good day!

I'm now on Page 8 of a Google Doc of writing, and I've sunk over 24 hours into the new Stardew Valley update already!

Oh, that? That's just college deadlines, we don't talk about that- no don't look at it, focus on the happy :D

[bukojuiice]

the way of the househusband — levi ackerman

ೃ pairing: (husband! levi ackerman x  ceo wifey! reader)

ೃ  There is the “ideal” nuclear family. The one composed of a working husband with a well-paying 9 to 5 job, loving housewife who cooks and cleans, and adoring children who do well in school. However, that idealization is looong gone. What about you and your family? You are the CEO of a Tech Start-up Company who ain’t no trophy wife, Your husband hails from the last line of Ackermans and who temporarily resigns from being a vice executive of your company (just because he doesn’t want to work with young, feeling philanthropist, and genius GenZers) to become a hands-on househusband, and then there’s your little daughter who has the most inquisitive mind and adventurous heart who idolizes her doting father in every shape, way, and form. A month’s absence in your home (due to a business trip) could lead to many many things. But, your husband randomly publishing a self-help book on parenting and being a househusband is not one of those things. 

ೃ genre and warnings: modern au, domestic fluff, baby au, husband au, 

ೃ  my nav  →  my aot masterlist

ೃ 4k words

ೃ Will be referring to hanji as “aunkling” (a cute nickname that some kiddos use to refer to their non-binary relatives <3) because there are no official non-binary terms for aunt and uncle! + your daughter with levi is named amelia and she is just the most precious cinnamon roll

It’s done. 

The Business Trip is finally over.

A long and painful month of no hugs and playdates with your little princess, Amelia and no time to be pampered with love and affection from your husband, Levi was finally over!

Sometimes, you wonder how you were even able to survive these long-ass trips and conferences. Sure, these month-long trips only happened once a year, but the thought of Amelia getting older and having to miss a day of seeing her grow up and discover the world, really hurt you as all mothers would. Video Calls were enough to satisfy you and give you happy hormones even for just a short while, but still- the longer you’re not with them, the more the yearning lengthens until you’re just riddled with endless thoughts of wanting to get home as soon as possible.

First, let’s set things straight: You are the CEO of a Tech Start-up company who was born into a middle-class family and rose her way up to success. It’s as cliche as it gets but hey! Living a life as if you were in a romantic comedy was the best compliment you’ve ever gotten. 

Along with that, as far as rich families in rom-coms and coming of age movies go, are they all dysfunctional in reality? Not really. Or at least you and Levi promised each other not to end up like that. The Rich Girl meets Poor Boy (with a tragic backstory) cliche however? Yea, that’s a pretty accurate way to describe your love story. Meeting the love of your life in a Coffee Shop is actually pretty common and happens to a lot of people apparently. When Erwin Smith, Levi’s best friend (who is too smart and self-aware to fit the role of a rom-com sidekick by the way) approaches your table to ask if he and Levi could sit with you. (Because of all the days the cafe would be packed, it would be that day.) You said yes of course, and Erwin began oversharing details about the raven-haired man and you were all too invested in learning more about him anyway. Levi grew up in the orphanage after his mother had died and his father was the biggest asshole on the planet for never showing his face, he had to fend for himself after he outgrew the foster system. Starting out as an espionage in an illegal underground gambling empire to a bookkeeper at the Smiths’ bookshop. (Although this is a story for another day)  

Internally swooning over his pretty eyes and resting bitch face...it didn’t take long until the two of you fell in love and... the rest was history!

You come home to your lavish yet homey apartment in 21 West End Avenue Manhattan to be surprised by your father-daughter duo absolutely knocked out on the couch. Amelia was snuggled up to her father, her feet on his lap and a sleeping position you could not possibly comprehend, a Disney movie playing in the background, and both of them were wearing matching Minion onesies whilst yours was folded neatly on the coffee table just waiting to be worn by you when you got home. 

It was a rare sight to see and you can’t help but just stare lovingly at the wonderful scene before you. Not only was it rare to see Amelia asleep before seeing you (or in the case of your business trips, during your daily video calls with them) but it was also rare to see your husband sleeping so soundly and his insomnia not kicking in. 

Amelia hears your footsteps, her eyes are still shut as she tries to predict what you will do next. She finally assesses when she will make her move and surprise you when you place another fleece blanket on top of them and plant a kiss on both of their temples. your daughter’s eyes suddenly flutter open. Her eyes beaming and glowing off the same light that twinkled in her father’s as she jumps off the couch, making sure not to wake up Levi.

“MOMMY!” She screams in the most quiet volume her cute voice could muster. She runs up to you and envelops you in a tight hug, jumping up and down as she does so. “I missed you Mommy! I missed you soooo much! How was sandbox in K-korea!? Was there a lot of sand!? Did you have a lot of pwaymates there!?”

You giggle at your daughter’s enthusiasm, combing your fingers through her hair. “Lili, Sandbox is like the Silicon Valley of Korea. It isn’t necessarily a sandbox like in a playground, baby.”

“OOOH! JUST LIKE SIWICON VAWWEY!” She chirps, tightening her hug and reaching for your hand and squeezing it. “AH WAIT!” She gently pushes you away and makes a beeline to her room. “ME AND DADDY HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU! BUT CLOSE YOUR EYES FIRST OWKAAY?!” She calls out from her room and you shout back a “yes!” to her in between your giggles, unable to contain the sudden rush of serotonin your daughter had given you from her simple yet adorable antics.

Another trope that you can debunk is that rich moms can be a hands-on parent too! After your maternity leave ended and when Amelia had finally reached her toddler years, you absolutely made sure that you were going to take care of her every second, minute, hour and day of your life. As soon as she turned two, she became the inquisitive, smart and ever so curious little girl you and Levi had always hoped for. She had your (h/c) hair and Levi’s icy yet warm and loving milky grey eyes. If the color of Levi’s reminded you of dark and stormy clouds, Amelia’s was gleaming. Like that of the clouds after a terrible storm. She was an absolute blessing and although you weren’t a perfect mother, (spoiling her more than you should) Levi was an amazing father. Growing up without parents was tough for him and he was going to make sure that Amelia is going to have an amazing childhood and be surrounded by the love of two parents that he never had and never got to experience. 

You always and will forever have trust in Levi. There has never been a day where you doubted him. Despite the impressions and assumptions that people have of him. How he was cold, scary, and even calculating. But, you are always quick to shut down those rumors. They don’t know the Levi Ackerman behind the cold and mighty front he shows. He is a man who has gone through so much and yet has so much love and care to give. How he notices and remembers the littlest details, how he never takes anything for granted and how he loves and cherishes everything so wholeheartedly.

When Amelia turned six, you sadly had to go back to work formally. Right timing too because your genius (with very himbo tendencies) younger cousin, Eren, was about to be part of your start-up company and he had a lot of amazing plans that had to come into fruition. Even bringing in a group of his own friends (who all graduated in MIT by the way!) who are willing to contribute so many amazing ideas and hackathons that were just waiting to happen.

The entrance of these youthful and hopeful genius entrepreneurs also brought about the temporary exit of your very own husband from your very own company. Apparently, working with newly graduated Gen Zers (as a millennial) was too much for him. They were nice and they were going to be a very integral part of the company. But, the boomer inside Levi can’t just can’t keep up with this sudden surge of energy and youthfulness within the higher-ups. It was also a great opportunity for him to take care of Amelia even more. So, you didn’t stop him from doing so! 

It’s been a year since he temporarily resigned and became an official-unofficial househusband. Or as your best friend Hanji likes to put it, You are the Girl Boss and he is the Male Wife. Amelia is now 7 years old and she’s currently taking Ballet classes (Levi picks her up during the weekdays, and the both of you pick her up on the weekends) and has developed a hyperfixation over Sanrio Characters and the Disney movie, Frozen. She was growing up to be a wonderful girl and you just can’t wait to hear what she and Levi had done during your absence.

She skips her way back to you, a book tightly clutched in her hands. “SURPRISE!” Amelia gingerly places a book on your hand. You open your eyes and tilt your head in question at the piece of literature she had just given you as you read the title aloud.  “The Way of the House Husband… written by Levi Ackerman.” Your eyes shift to a little circle on the lower side of the cover,  “The husband of (Y/N) Ackerman, the CEO of Survey Corp Tech��!?” 

“Daddy and I made a book while you were away!” She claps her hands together and grabs the book back from you, turning it to the first page. “See there’s even a dedication! To (Y/N) and Amelia! The two brightest stars in my galaxy!”

“Oh that’s too cheesy. No way would your dad write something like this out of the blue, Lili.” You scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. Your daughter looks at you with downcast eyes while you were still trying to process that your husband literally just wrote a whole-ass book while you were away. “Who helped publish this so quickly, Amelia?”

“Uncle Erwin of course!” She’s frowning for one second and now she’s beaming at you again. “Please please read it mommy! Me and daddy worked really really hard on it!” She taps the hardbound cover of the book in rhythms. “This is the Amelia Edition! Daddy said he cut out some stuff so that it would be okay for me to read and for me to give to you once you get home! It’s my come back home gift for you mommy!” She moves the book to your lap and hops up next to you on the loveseat that you were sitting on. Before you know it, Amelia is resting her head on your shoulder and coaxing you to start reading to her like it was a bedtime story. 

You clear your throat and hold her by the waist so that she can feel more secure in her seat. “Okay… okay… let’s begin shall we? In a kingdom far far away…”

“That’s not how the book is like mommy! Read it properly like the way daddy did!”

“I was just joking, honey. Let’s get started. Rule #1 of the House Husband is…”

Rule #1: Fathers, be good to your children. You are the weight of their world.

“One thing I learned as soon as I was at home practically 24/7 is that your child will be more cautious and weary of you. They will observe you because they look up to you. They will watch your every move, follow you around, and will imitate whatever you say and whatever they hear from you. Talk to them, teach them things they need to know, support them in their hobbies, interests, and even if you have to be the extra princess in her tea party, do it.  The thing is, you will leave an eternal mark on the hearts of your children.”

Amelia got even more closer to Levi when he was finally stationed at home. Always grinning from ear to ear and boasting to her classmates how cool her dad was whenever he would pick her up from school. She was proud to tell them Levi’s heritage even if Amelia never got to meet her Grandma Ackerman and Grandpa Ackerman. When Levi would take her out for errands, may they be groceries, cleaning the house, baking, cooking, laundry, or just going on his morning jog, Amelia would be there to accompany him. In fact, she’s gone shopping with Levi so many times that she has memorized the brand names of cleaning detergent and bleach before she could even memorize the multiplication table.

 She’s even caught up with her father’s cynical sense of humor. And because of that, Levi had to tone down on his sardonic jokes around the little girl. Levi wasn’t necessarily physically affectionate but he does soften around Amelia as the little girl never fails to supply him with endless hugs and kisses on the cheek. She may be both a Mommy’s and Daddy’s girl, but the way she looks up to Levi is the kind of father-daughter bond that you hardly see in real life. She aspires to be like him. Even if there were times where she would be scolded by you both, (most especially Levi) she never took that against you.  She sees all the good and positive sides of your husband that others outside of your circle fail to see.

Rule #2: Let your children know that they have other “guardian angels” who they can rely on aside from their parents.

“My daughter has both my wife and I’s best friends to learn from or to look up to. Her kooky aunkling and her blunt uncle have become one of the most precious people in her life. Even the young ins working at Survey Corp Tech have become older siblings to her and get along with her so well. Remember that there will always be close relatives or friends who can and will help them when they lose their way. Let them spread sunshine and love to others.”

Whether it’s a regular trip to Coney Island or your monthly trips to Disneyland, Hanji or Erwin would totally tag along. Amelia absolutely loves and vibes with Hanji’s quirkiness so well. They would wear matching Mickey Mouse ears, ride the kiddie roller coaster that Amelia wanted to ride on a million times per visit, buy her all the ice cream and treats she wants (despite Levi’s warnings and the reprimanding that Hanji has to suffer from the both of you right after.) They just want Amelia to experience all the fun, the joy, and innocence of living in the moment. As a kid, it’s better if she sees how precious life is, how she should cherish it and that she doesn’t have to grow up so fast just yet. 

Erwin on the other hand, brought out Amelia’s intellectual side more. As soon as a new and critically acclaimed children’s book hit the shelves, you bet Amelia has a copy right away. Whenever Levi would take her to Erwin’s bookstore, she wanders around like it’s this huge mysterious archive that can only be accessed by her. The Adults section is forbidden, so were the cheap romance novels in the back, and the books written by youtubers. God forbid she read those. When her Uncle Erwin got her into reading Roald Dahl’s children’s books, you had to watch Amelia run around the penthouse with a little red ribbon tied on top of her hair, wanting to be referred to as Matilda, along with you and Levi having to pretend that she had telekinetic powers for 6 months straight. It was her cutest phase yet and you just know there were many more to come. 

There were also Eren and his friends who loved Amelia dearly whenever she came over to visit. Your little cousin refused to be called Uncle Eren and instead wanted to be called big bro, and in which Amelia happily complied. Whenever it was Amelia’s weekly “Visit Mommy at Work” day, she had her own room in your office where Eren and your other young associates would babysit her. In fact, they would actually take turns in babysitting at your condo whenever you and Levi went out for date night. Amelia was introduced to playing video games like Animal Crossing and Pokemon solely because of them (more specifically because of big bro Jean, big sis Sasha, and big bro connie.) They even ended up influencing her to watch anime when her big brother “Minmin” and big sis “Mimi” accidentally left the TV on and Amelia literally binge-watched half of the existing Studio Ghibli movies to this date. 

Rule #3: Your children will think that you are Superman or Iron Man. Make sure to act like them and never let them down by ruining their innocence and imagination.”

(A little note was attached to this page: Please don’t let Amelia read this. Read her a fairy tale instead while skimming through this.)

“It all started when my daughter found an entire encyclopedia on ancient and legendary family clans around the world. The Ackerman clan was on the very first page after the intro and she read through all 50 pages of it. The look of awe on her face when she read that her dad’s ancestors exhibit physical abilities much higher than the average human. In a 7 year old’s mind and vocabulary, that automatically translates to a superhero akin to that of Superman. 

Ever since then, My daughter has forced me to become more creative with doing very mundane tasks and chores. I pretend to have superpowers. Such as teleporting around the house whilst cleaning. I tell her to close her eyes or else my teleportation powers won’t work. Then when I cook in the kitchen and she watches me intently, I tell her that the salt and pepper have magical properties that only I can touch and hold because to her, at that moment, I was “Doctor Stwange.”

and one time, when I picked her up from school, she was babbling on about how she told her friends and playmates that she had two superhero parents she was very proud of. Then one of the other kids asked if I was a strong soldier who killed huge humanoid monsters using sharp blades. To which I replied that could have possibly happened in a different universe. Her hearty laughs and giggles whenever she sees me using my superpowers makes me anxious over the fact I have to tell her someday that my powers never existed.”

Whilst you were on your monthly trip, you and Levi would have private video calls whenever Amelia was finally put to bed. There, he told you about what happened in Amelia’s ballet classes that week and how the single mothers were more persistent than usual.

They could clearly see that Levi was not interested but apparently the fact that your husband waving his ring finger every single time someone approached him wasn’t obvious enough, apparently the fact that he was married made the risk even more worth it to these prying moms who had nothing better to do. It wasn’t until Amelia had enough and respectfully called them out by saying that his dad was married and he was never going to be interested in Karens (a slang word that she learned from Eren and friends) Since then, the invasion of parent to parent boundaries had finally stopped. Levi was very relieved and at ease whilst telling you the story yet you were laughing your heart out at the ingenious remarks of your very own daughter on top of the irresistible charm and looks of your own husband that made single mothers be damned. 

Rule #4: The most important rule of all: Love your spouse as you want your children to be loved in the future.

“Since my wife is on a business trip right now as I type this and she may or may not know that I had written this book for her to read when she comes home, my daughter came up to me a few days ago and told me how she missed her mom so much. The video calls we had every night were not enough to satisfy her for the remaining days her mother would be gone. She then proceeds to tell me that she loves the way I love (Y/N). My daughter loved how patient I was and how I supported her through every endeavor that her mother had ever thought up with that brilliant mind of hers. She mentioned how I was there for her through every success and failure, through hardships, difficulties and misunderstandings. My daughter was happy because I stuck with her mother through everything. All the pain, suffering, conflicts that we both experienced individually and as husband and wife. Little ears and little eyes are watching and observing the actions and sweet gestures of their parents. Make sure to remember that.”

“What is gravy (grief) if not love persevewing?” (persevering) My daughter had even recounted a quote from the Disney Marvel show, WandaVision just to prove a point to me. That was when I realized something and decided to list down a few things: 

1. The best lovers are the best of friends.

Levi’s relationship with you was rocky at first simply because the two of you didn’t have a lot in common. Your personalities clashed and the two of you could barely make things work in the beginning. He was always well-dressed, on time, and was very prim and proper. However, Levi was cold, strict, and unapproachable. You on the other-hand were quite the opposite. You used to arrive late, didn’t care too much about your style as long as you wore the appropriate outfit, but you were carefree, laidback and friendly. Having to set aside your differences was a process that required sacrifice, time, and effort. It took long and a lot of petty arguments before the two of you fully understood each other, accepted each other's faults and quirks, and became even closer. Both as friends and lovers. You and Levi treat each other not as just the “person I love and I’m married to for the rest of my life”, but also as a best friend for life. Soulmates

2. Their dreams are just as important as yours.

Levi’s dream was to open up a tea shop and start a family with you. That was all he ever wanted. The blissful simplicity of his in comparison to your techy and out of this world ambitions, goes to show how much they weigh as aspirations and wants in life. You have to value your significant other’s dreams and ambitions just as much as you highly value yours. No matter how hard or how simple they are, the both of you can achieve it with the help of each other. The only thing left in your agenda was to open up his long-awaited Tea Shop. You were about to surprise him with the plans of opening one up on the day of his birthday, and you just can’t wait for that day to finally come.

3. You have to let them be free.

Levi absolutely knew what he was getting into when he met you. It was love at first sight when he met you, He drunkenly admitted that one time when he’s had too much champagne on your friday date night. He knew that you were an adventurer. A wandering soul who had a goal and a purpose set in stone. He always knew you were going to reach greater heights and he knew that you would never leave him behind and would always have him go on a ride. He’s always known about your capabilities and your potential and he didn’t want you to stray away from that. And, if the time were to come that you had to leave him behind to soar greater heights, he’d understand that. He’d always let you be free and make sure you don’t fly too close to the sun. That was just how selfless Levi is. The thing is, he knows you would do the same for him. It was a perfect balance. 

4. It is an honor to love and to be loved by them.

To be wrapped in the arms of someone who feels like home or has become the definition of home, To be stargazing with on a chilly summer night in where you talk about your future and your plans, To be sharing a cup of coffee or tea with in the morning and begrudgingly dancing with you against his will, To be watching your child playing in her room and do nothing but look adoringly at the most precious soul to have ever been produced by your encompassing love, and to be spending the rest of your life with someone who has done nothing but be with you through every pivotal moment in your life was such an honor. 

It is an honor to be loved by Levi, as he is honored to be loved by you. 

“...The end.” You close the book with a deep but contented sigh. Tears were welling up in your eyes and you’re trying your best not to break down in front of Amelia. 

“Mommy… are you crying?” She tilts her head in inquiry. “Is it because you’re tired from work?”

“No. baby. These are happy tears, Lili. Don’t worry.”

Before you could speak up once more, you notice Levi had slowly sprung up from the couch, and began to stretch his arms. His eyes widen when he sees you from the opposite couch. “(Y/N)... you were supposed to arrive at 6 AM right? Amelia and I were supposed to pick you-”

Amelia opens her mouth to speak as she jumps down from the couch and crawls up to sit next to Levi. “Daddy! I showed Mommy the book you wrote! She loved it! Right, Mommy?”

“You did?” Your husband perks up from his seat, clearing his throat. “T-that’s not the entire book yet by the way. We had to give back the original copies to Erwin for reprinting. The self-help book is currently rising up the charts to be a New York Times Best Seller.” 

Before Levi could properly react, you move to the free space on the couch next to him. Holding his hand and gazing into his forlorn yet loving eyes, you muttered. “Love, that’s amazing. I’m really really proud of you. Next time though, please do tell me that you’ve written a self-help book and dethroned all those mommy authors from the bestselling charts.” 

Levi stifles a laugh, stroking your thumb and bringing you and Amelia closer to him for warmth. “I will. I will.” 

Amelia looks up at the two of you, squeezing out of the sandwich, so that you and Levi can have your quality time with each other. “Goodnight Mom! Goodnight Dad!” She approaches the two of you so that she can be given her nightly kiss on the cheek as she retreats to her room. 

“What if I write a novel too?” You joke, snuggling up to Levi, your husband wrapping his arm around you. “The title could be… The way of the Wife boss?” 

“That could be a good sequel. A shared book universe. Then, Amelia could continue the collection when we’re old and sour as hell.” Levi mused.

“Pfft. I guess only time will tell. I love you Levi.”

“I love you too (Y/N).”

[raisedbyfandomwolves]

TtQ: Do you actually have a backstory for the battle of Byr'nn Valley or was that more of a "place-holder" kind of thing to fill into the conversation? If it does indeed have a whole planned concept behind it, do you actually have a way of how Tyf Uz would have won (how/why did he lose anyway, if I may ask as well?)? (And did Mon ever remember/figure it out again? Since Kara distracted him last time he did?) 🤔 Sry for the very long question(s) again 🙈Your patience really calls for sainthood!🙈

Q. Oooh, well, this one's a funny and long story so I'm going to put my answer under the cut, lol.

You might have noticed that I usually have Mon-El being in the middle of doing all kinds of stuff when Kara returns to the dream world to show he has a lot of different ways to keep himself occupied while she's gone. It's been a kind of fun challenge to create all these random things and most of the time they're throwaway "placeholders", to use your words.

In this case though, it needed to be something more substantial and... well, one of the side things I like to expand on is naturally Mon-El's past especially his relationship with Bal-Seg and this led to me thinking, "Well, why not cover a bit more of kur'nlik?"

When I came up with The Battle of Byr'nn Valley as the event the kur'nlik game would be based on, I thought it would be funny to create Daxam's historical version of the Kobayashi Maru. Essentially Tyf Uz had pretty much everything working against him so there was no way he could ever have won that battle unless the gods had intervened directly. It was turned into a kur'nlik scenario that every young Daxamite had to attempt to win at least once because it was seen as a useful way to teach them a lesson on humility among other things.

...So this is actually the part that makes it a funny story: After I thought it up, I realised this was absolutely the kind of thing Bal-Seg would force Mon-El to do over and over again so that part got added. Then I thought more about it and the backstory of that got developed and it's not really what you were asking for but here it is:

As I said, all young Daxamites have to attempt the scenario at least once and Bal-Seg naturally made Mon-El do it too. Of course, Mon-El being the royal brat that he was didn't care enough to take it seriously so he just came up with silly 'strategies' like "I tame a kaurius and ride it into battle". Bal-Seg naturally smacked him on the head for it and kept making him do it again every now and then as a special kind of punishment. Eventually Mon-El had the idea (or more like fanciful thinking) of actually coming up with a winning strategy so that he could rub it in Bal-Seg's face but every time he tried to think of one he'd get bored and just give up until the next time Bal-Seg annoyed him enough to give him the idea again.

After Daxam's destruction and Bal-Seg's death, Mon-El eventually started trying to come up with that winning strategy for real even though he knows it's impossible as one way to keep Bal-Seg's memory alive. Kara knows it too even though he's never said it out loud so she just listens whenever he thinks he's finally come up with the solution and also just listens when he later admits whatever flaws there were in it, knowing it's also part of his process imagining how Bal-Seg would pick apart his strategy and make him try all over again.

...And that's the insanely long backstory of that one offhand placeholder bit. >_>

[soulonfire13]

How about 3 through 8 for the video game asks?

Oooh these are all excellent ones.

3~ "Best game you've ever played"

Starting off with a very hard one to answer lol, but I think the best game(s) Ive ever played is a tie between "Prey" and "Red Dead Redemption 2". Both games Ive gone back to countless times and Im always finding something new and different when I play.

In Prey, I love, love, love the enviromental storytelling and how many different way you can solve the games mysteries and puzzles. It allows me to actually pick skills I want for that playthrough, and still be able to finish the game my way.

Rdr2, theres just so many little details and things that blow me away everytime I load into the game. Foreshadowing I might have missed earlier, realistic animals gorgeous thunderstorms ahhhh.

Both games also have excellent stories imo. Multiple points where I was sitting in my chair open mouthed and/or crying. So damn good. I love games where I have choices, even if the choices are small.

4~ "worst game you've ever played?"

For this one, I had to think a bit. I decided to pick a game that was the worst for me, personally; even though technically speaking its fine. Its also random as all heck hahahaha. Anyway that award goes to "Nancy Drew: Trail of the Twister"

I grew up playing the Nancy Drew cd rom games and that one just pissed me right off. The puzzles suuuuuck, especially for Nancy Drew (theres only a couple ND games with WORSE puzzles) but having to do the same puzzle like 4 times with no way to speed it up and having to watch the same aninations forever just threw any chance of me liking the game right out the window.

Also hated the storyline a bit more than other ND games and Ive played them all. Ive seen hokey storylines and obvious plot twists but this specific one was just.... bad.

5~ "Popular game series you just can't get into"

Theres a lot XD. I think the biggest is games like Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts. Theres just so much lore and so many games that while I respect the people who can get into all of it and actually know whats happening in those games; I will never actually play them myself.

I have watched a playthrough of the original Kingdom Hearts but thats about it.

6~ "Game that Changed You the Most"

I would say that the game that changed me the most was "Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympic Games 2009" for the DS. It was my true 1st Sonic game. (I vividly remember my mom getting it for me because we'd been playing so many Mario games)

I immediately fell in love with the Sonic characters, Knuckles and Shadow being the og characters I ended up really liking and using for most of the events in the game. It was after I finished the game and was trying to 100% that I started really getting into Sonic as a series. The game has these collectables called "whitestones" that were scattered EVERYWHERE in the game. To find them, you button mashed near where you though there would be one and BAM another whitestone.

One of the characters you turn the whitestones into was Espio. And I was like; huh. This guy is cool. I should look him up. And that led to me finding and watching SonicX. Which led to me playing more Sonic games. Which led to me reading the comics. And the rest is history.

The Chaotix quickly overtook Knuckles and Shadow as my favorites (I still really like them) and eventually led to me making this specific blog! Being a sonic fan has been a huge part of my life for many, many reasons :)

7~ "Game you'll never forget"

"Sonic Heroes"! It will always be the most nostalgic and my favorite Sonic game. My brother and I split which teams we would play as and we would work together to complete the game. I got Team Dark and Team Chaotix and I absolutely loved playing both storylines so, so much. There was so many hours spent raging over the Rail Canyon level, and countless tries for the bonus levels and Chaos Emeralds. I put my blood, sweat and tears into that game and I loved every second of it.

8~ "Best Soundtrack"

Oooh theres so many I like ;-;. Skyrim's soundtrack is memorable and absolutely awesome. Stardew Valley has some of the best vibing music for a game. Sonic and the Balck Knight and Sonic Rush have some of my favorite Sonic songs. Rdr2 has a banger playlist of songs that cut DEEP. I could even cheat and say I like Miku rythm games and add a bunch of vocaloids to the list hahaha.

God I literally can't choose auuugh. Music is such a personal thing to me and I love video game music with a passion. Theres just too many to pick just one game jdhshdjfkfisysn

[flightfoot]

Dragon Falls Ch. 2

AO3

Light filtered through her eyelids.

 Kagami groaned.

 Sadly, groaning didn’t actually cause the sun to reverse and go into hiding.

 Against her wishes, she woke up the rest of the way.

 And very much wished she hadn’t.

 Every part of her body ached. She felt like she’d just been hit with a sledgehammer between her eyes, and her wings…

 She tried to shift them.

 Big mistake.

 Searing pain ripped through her, forcing her to let out a yelp. Craning her neck around, she got a good look at them.

 They appeared intact, but the joint of one of her wings was severely swollen.

 She winced.

 Dragons healed quickly, but an injury like that was likely to take a week or more to recover from. In the meantime, she was grounded.

 What even HAPPENED?

 Casting her mind back, she tried to recall.

 The memories were fuzzy, as they always were after a raid. The queen’s compulsions dulled higher order thinking, replacing it with her own will - mostly “get food”. Sheep were her favorite.

 While she’d been off hunting for the Queen numerous times, this was her first time going up against humans. These were by far the most dangerous hunting grounds.

 And now here she was, alone, in a valley, badly injured, unable to fly away, and-

A face swam across her vision, blond hair and a smirk, and then-

 The structure collapsed on her.

 She shuddered. Well, that explained the injuries. But what happened after that?

 Branches brushed against her, uneven ground occasionally causing her to stumble. 

 She didn’t pause, just getting up and running some more.

 All she knew was she needed to get far away from there, to somewhere safe.

 A short fall, trying to spread her wings and finding one wouldn’t move properly-

 And then she was on the ground.

 She faintly heard leaves rustling, but couldn’t bring herself to move.

 PAIN.

 Something CRACKED, going back into place.

 Flailing a little, she opened her eyes.

 THE BOY.

 Tried to get to her feet-

 And fell.

 He ran.

 She passed out.

 That crack… did that boy relocate her wing joint?

 And he hadn’t come back with backup, even though she was unconscious and helpless…

 Though that part might be due to it being night at the time. She had decent night vision, but from what she’d heard about humans, theirs was atrocious.

 Hauling herself up (and grimacing a bit at the soreness) she set about investigating her surroundings.

---------

 This area she’d fallen into was pretty nice at least. Only one entrance in or out (unless you could fly or felt like falling fifteen feet), with a small freshwater pond and some nice spots for sunbathing. 

 The single entrance made things tricky. On the one hand, it meant she couldn’t be surrounded by vikings. On the other hand, it meant that she had no escape route.

 Probably best to avoid it except for getting drinks of water. 

 Her stomach made her other needs known, giving out a rumble.

 She sighed. Hopefully prey was plentiful.

------------

An hour later she’d caught and eaten three rabbits and a squirrel. 

 Turns out they weren’t used to being sprayed with water or electrocuted. 

 No fire blasts. While that would certainly have done the trick as well, setting the forest on fire while she was in it didn’t seem like the best idea.

 Her ears pricked.

 Voices floated up from somewhere close by.

 She hid behind a bush as well as she could. Even injured, she’d probably be able to fight off a couple vikings, but best to gather intel first.

 “...you think it’s still there?”

 “Probably. It was hurt pretty badly.”

 A flash of yellow caught her eyes.

 A boy and a girl traipsed into view. 

 The boy… that hair looked a lot like what she remembered from before, with the attack.

 The brown-haired girl was new though.

 She darted out of the bush. The brunette raised her axe instinctively.

 Keeping an eye on her (the axe probably wouldn’t do MUCH damage, but it partially depended on where she was hit…) she faced the blonde. “Why didn’t you kill me before?”

 Both the humans’ mouths dropped open as their eyes bugged out of their heads.

 She tilted her head to the side. 

 What were they doing? Was this some human signal?

 She had a difficult enough time reading DRAGON body language, did she have to master human nonverbal communication as well?

 “YOU CAN TALK?!”

 They didn’t know that? “Of course I can-”

 Wait.

 They only ever raided the humans when under the Queen’s influence.

 And while being controlled by her, they were little more intelligent than the prey they hunted.

 “You’ve never heard us talk before.”

 The boy stared off into the distance. “Those sounds I heard you making before, the screams… I… I thought they sounded too human. I- I guess… I guess now I know why.”

 The girl put her hand on her chin. “I’ve been through a lot of dragon raids. One of the first things I learned was how indistinguishable dragon cries were from human cries and I just… no one ever thought, even CONSIDERED why that might be.”

 Blinking, the boy snapped out of his daze. “Well there was Alix’s brother’s theory.”

 “Jalil’s… oh right!”

 She turned to face Kagami. “Uh… you’re not secretly a banished viking, cursed to wander the skies in the shape of a beast, right?”

 Humans were weird. “I am fairly certain I am not.”

 “So why can you talk? Why haven’t any dragons talked to us before? Oooh can only SOME dragons talk? Why have you guys been raiding our town? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.”

A squeal emanated from somewhere close by. It took her a moment to realize it came from the girl.

 “Do- do you know what happened to my mom?” a voice asked quietly.

 His voice quavering with hope, the boy looked up at her, almost seeming to plead for her to say ‘yes’.

 She hated to disappoint him.

 But lying would hurt more. “This was my first raid. I know nothing about any specific humans.”

 He went quiet, looking down at his feet. The girl put an arm around his shoulder.

 “As for the other questions, it does depend on species. Most dragons can talk, but there are a few who do not have the intelligence required to do so, as well as a few others who communicate through other means. All of us who are sent to raid your village are able to talk, however.”

 The girl frowned. “Sent?”

 “By the Queen. She bends us to her will, forces us to hunt for her, to please her. Some have tried to escape-” She shuddered. “But few have succeeded. She- she can hypnotize us, make it so we have to follow her commands, even miles away. Anywhere her voice can reach, she can take control. And it can last for awhile - up to a day. Your village is just outside the edge of her sphere of influence.”

 She looked down. “While under her power, we cannot speak, can barely think. If we could keep our wits, keep our sense of self-” she spat, “-then we might be able to oppose her, to throw off her control. Her call suppresses that part of us entirely.”

 The two humans looked at each other. “The dragons - every time we’ve captured one, my father’s ordered them killed almost immediately. They- they never got a chance for the Queen’s influence to wear off!”

 The color drained from the boy’s face. “They were killed… and they weren’t even in control of themselves at the time.”

 The girl nodded. She looked like she’d hurl if she opened her mouth.

 A low growl escaped Kagami’s throat. She’d heard stories of the dragons who’d never made it back, mourned the fallen. 

 While she’d saved some of her ire for the Queen for forcing her subjects into such a dangerous situation in the first place, she’d also harbored some fear and anger for the humans who actually killed the dragons involved.

 But they hadn’t known.

 To them, it was no different than her killing those rabbits.

 “We’ve got to tell everyone!”

 The girl turned, started to head back. The boy caught her arm. “Wait. I want to stop this as much as you do, but do you really think they’ll believe you?”

 She let out a frustrated noise. “Well if a dragon’s TALKING, they’ll have to, won’t they?!”

 He shook his head. “If they see a dragon in the village, do you really think they’ll all sit down and have a conversation with her? Or just attack immediately?”

 “I am not entering the village,” Kagami interjected. No way she was being kept out of this conversation. “My wing is still injured and I do not know if I can trust them to just talk. And while you two seem friendly, I have not forgotten how often you humans have hurt or killed us. I accept that you may have done so based on limited information, but they are still dead.”

 The girl looked away and sighed. “Yes, but… but what about next raid?! I- I don’t want to watch someone get killed if I could’ve prevented it!”

 They all stood looking at each other awkwardly.

 She turned around and started loping off.

 “Wait, where are you going?!”

 “It does not look like anything will be settled here and I must explore the rest of the island, try to find a better resting spot. I do not wish to risk being discovered and murdered by a random human.”

 The boy called out again. “But- but how will we find you again?”

 She stopped, closing her eyes. 

 These humans honestly seemed like they wanted to help. Like they didn’t mean any harm.

 But she also barely knew them.

 “I will find you. My hearing and sense of smell far outstrips what you are capable of. If I deem it safe, I will appear.”

 She didn’t completely trust them yet.

 But she wanted to.

 Turning around again, she got two dragon-lengths away-

 “WAIT!”

 Again?

 “What’s your name?” the boy pointed at himself and then at his companion. “I’m Adrien, and this is my friend Alya.”

 Adrien and Alya…

 She mouthed the words for a moment, getting used to the feel of them.

 It made this feel more… official somehow. 

 They weren’t just “those humans”.

 They were Alya and Adrien.

 And maybe, just maybe

 In the future she might call them ‘friends’.

 “I am Kagami.”

 She raced off, this time without interruption.

 They all had a lot to think about.

[rockfact]

fuck it liveblogging tpoh but putting it in one post so its not annoying (pls read tpoh before reading this post its got so many spoilers) also this is rlly long (http://jolleycomics.com/TPoH/The%20Hook/1)

anyway wow rgb rlly didnt like hero in the beginning eh?

OOOH THIS IS WHERE THE BUTTERFLY COMES FROM I FORGOT IT WAS THIS EARLY

god i love the worldbuilding in this beginning bit like ofc theres lies and doubts and fears like sure!! why not!!! this guys got a tv head!

oh dude rgb dead<3

MADRAS MY BELOVED

"cover ur vents" dude he IS a tv eh. well i know that she takes apart his wiring later but LMAO

rgb hates water<3 i would too if i was a tv. my sona is a tv but has water IN them so... yknow

TOby MY BELOVED HELLOOO

oh yeah the ferrys gone innit

sorry she did what to u TOby??? WHAT???

DIAL HI HI HI HI HI DIAL IL LOVE YOU

i forgot rgb is British. gay little guy who says cheerio and telly

bro her fucking dreams got in his vents oh no

YOOO HIS SUIT CHANGED COLOR AFTER GLITCHING i love this fucking comic

dude she killed that idea OH hi the moth butterfly is back

oh nooo the doubts r here and shes crying nnonoooo

GOD GET HER tHE DOUBTS R GONNA EAT HER ALIVE DAMMIT

OHF UCK THE FEARS ARE BACK AND OH FUCK A GRIEF TOO?!??? FUCK

oh bro the grief fuckin cried on him oh noooo wait isn't this when he goes negative. i think soYEAH IT IS !!! NEGATIVE MY CONFUSING BELOVED

get those fears asses negative wooo !!!! also bye the grief ^_^

oh yeah gotta take him to the tree since he's out of order eh

ASSOK ASSOK ASSOK

oh rgbs outfit changed again. does that when he glitches it seems:) i love it

hero pls just listen to him

assok i LOVE YOUUUU

THE FUCKING TREE MELTED CANT HAVE SHIT IN [whatever this place is called i don't remember rn]

aaand down they go!

OGHHGHH THE IDEA DIAL TOby AND MADRAS ALL SEEING THE TREEEEE YEAHHHHHH

YES THE BIRD I LOVE THE BIRD !!!!

AND MELODY TOO I LOVE THEM BOTH THEYRE GAY <3

poor TOby :(

the fuckin.. god i love this comic. the metaphors for trauma and shit i eat it UP

rgb i love ur puns but please shut up /j

DID SOME FUCKIN SCISSORS COME IN HERE AND CUT OUT THE WIVES ??? WHAT THE FUCK<3 LOOKS COOL AF BUT DIE. WHY ohhh that's why we see them later and they're all wet n shit. the ocean ate them

AWE HERO ILY bye you stinkin butterfly get outta here !!!

OHH I FORGOT HOW COOL THE HEARING IN THE DARK BIT IS !

YES THE MARKET I LOVE THE MARKET I LOVE THE FIGHT SCENE ...

HIS SUIT CHANGD AGAIN CUZ OF THE DIMMING OF HIS BRIGHTNESS I LOVE THIS LORE !!!! ITS SO COOL

wait dial don't u dare throw TOby into the abyss i stg. die dial

oh they rlly are cousins huh. sayin the same thing.. also dial die i hate ur gay little headNNNOOOOOOOO HE DROPPED TOby FUCK YOU DIAL

nooo this is making me sad abt the characters i make and then forget :( i don't want them to be forgotten

CELL ILY

DUDE SHES IRONING HIS FUCKING ARM

god i love hero sm

LMAO RGB GETS HORSESHOES <3

i love the explanations of characters getting outlines n stuff. this is so cooooool

oh goodnight to the market. hi dial fuck you OPH HERES THE WIVES !!

oguh the one sided convo ... spooky

mmmmm don't dream around rgb or no good!! bad !!!! love the bits of lore tho. fuck yeah

oh and his clothes changed again i think! nice!!! i love the suit he's wearing in the recent ones.. really my style

WAHHH HERO LEAVING ASSOK BECAUSE ASSOK WANTS IT.. IM FUCKING. I LOVE HERO SO MUCHHHHHH THEYRE SO NICE... i love this story

this story legit be changing the way i look at other stories . mmm solid outlines my beloved

the fact rgb can just turn up his volume to scream louder<3

AH OFUCK THE DUDES GOT A GUN EH oh yeah his names click. i wonder how many names i can steal from this comic

god rgb so smart :)

click my beloved antagonist

HE JKUST SHOT RGB WHAT THE FUCK. SHOT HIM W REDACTED TOO?::?W AHT THE FUCK CLICK

god i love this bit. hero can shoot him or not. he's muted he cant defend himself. its so good oh my god. rgb accepts it too.. he takes his hat off expecting to die oh my god. i love this bit SO MUCHH

the fuckin.. "what do heroes do to monsters?" "SAVE THEM!" LIKE YEAH HERO I LOV EYOU

n then rgb is banned (rightly but how do they get assok back??) and hero becomes his keeper i love this. i fucking love all the chapters in the market

"did you ever forgive me?" "did you want me to?" "...no" "oh, well, that's too bad" HELLO? WHAT!

ogoh and clicks eye(??) falling into the market.... checkovs gun innit

madras lore yesss

all my homies love the world of make believe :)

ah fuck the trees are gone oh this is fuck

I KNEW SHE GAVE HER FINGERS TRAIN

oooh so rgb was a writer? or a comic artist or something???????? cooool

LMAO NICE TIMING LOSERS

!!! CANDLE RABBIT

idea loose in the market!!

AH FUCK CLICK IS BACK :I KNEW IT

the idea is a fish now! cool. good on it. love this idea

oh TOby finally hit the bottom huh?

this rabbit is so confusing wtf

3 suns????????? rabbit cmon man you put us way too forward wtf!!

ah yeah rgb is broken eh? getting close to the end

SHE FOUND ANOTHER BIT OF THE FUCKING SUN? R U KIDDING ME

MELODYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also lmao julienne melted cuz shes cotton candy :(

LMAO HERO IS MELTING HELP

i love how hero goes from obviously human to ?? that could be a monster!

madras time

fuckers turned off rgbs body cant have shit in make believe

MADRAS NO WHAT DONT LEAVE:(

and they step back!

elastic valley my beloved

i love these pigs sm

hi tg

"because he's *trying*" hero id fuckign die for you

AAAAAAAAAAAND I'm caught up! post time. sorry if u read all of this i have an illness and its called sharing my feelings all the time

[winterknight1087]

Play to Ease Anxiety

Summary: Thomas finds Virgil a game called Stardew Valley to try and ease his anxiety.

Word Count: 2806

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, sympathetic Remus, cursing, food mention, mention of a goose with a knife and death (no one dies)

Pairings: n/a

AO3 Link       My Writing

A/N: So, I’ve become super obsessed with Stardew Valley recently (like I’ve clocked about 70hrs into the game despite having it less than two weeks). I realized how much the sides would actually enjoy the game and so this came about... So yeah, enjoy!

Thomas groaned as he yanked the pillow out from under him and smushed it against his face, trying to stop the anxious thoughts. Finally, he got up, knowing that just laying there wouldn’t solve anything. So, Thomas took a seat at his laptop, wondering what he could do to help calm Virgil. Thomas may have needed a nap, but Virgil needed help first.

Thomas messaged a couple of his friends, asking for something to help his anxious side relax. For the most part, the advice wasn’t all that helpful: breathe, avoid caffeine, exercise… Yeah, sure, they were all valid advice, but Thomas could tell that those wouldn’t ease the anxious side this time.

As he was about to start Googling ideas, a final message arrived, suggesting that he play a calming game, with a couple of suggestions: Animal Crossing, Stardew Valley, Minecraft, or phone games with the word idle in them. Thomas knew Virgil would refuse to play Minecraft, just because ‘do you know what playing that would do to my image?’ He also figured that phone games would be out as he found them a bit mindless, which didn’t really help stop anxious thoughts. With that, Thomas pulled up Animal Crossing. Of course, it being 60 bucks, that made that game a bit unreasonable for right now. He did scribble a note to himself to discuss including it in his budget with Logan as he now wanted to play it himself. With that, he looked up Stardew Valley. It was much cheaper than Animal Crossing, so there was that. It looked to be some farming game. Maybe…

 ****

 Virgil sat on the couch, trying to calm his head. Too many things were stressing him out and even blasting his music– so loud that if he were a real human, his hearing would be gone within the hour–he still could hear his thoughts. Nothing was working and he knew that he was probably affecting Thomas, but that just added to his list of stuff.

A hand gently tapped his shoulder, jolting him off of the couch, teetering on a panic attack. Thomas motioned the side’s headphones as Virgil started trying to regulate his breathing. The side didn’t want to take them off and hear the lecture about controlling his anxiety better and how he was failing Thomas, but he also knew that he deserved it. He knew this was going to be coming since he woke up this morning with that feeling of ‘everything is wrong.’

“Sorry, Virge. I didn’t mean to scare you like that. You weren’t responding to me waving a hand in front of you though.” Thomas said, gently.

“Just get it over with, Thomas. I know I’m failing and it’s a bad day and I’m sorry but that isn’t good enough and I should be able to handle this better but I can’t and…”

“Hey, hey. Take a deep breath, Vee. This isn’t bad. I know it’s not your fault. You’re struggling just as much as I am with this.”

Virgil was close to tears. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK, you don’t need to apologize. Here, this is what I wanted to show you.”

Virgil accepted the laptop Thomas offered him, wondering what new horror was about to be added to his list. Instead, it was some load screen with ‘Stardew Valley’ on it. Virgil looked at his host in confusion, wondering what he was supposed to be panicking about regarding this.

“It’s a farming game. Talyn recommended it to me and I thought you could use the distraction. The Internet seems to like it and it isn’t Minecraft. I even saw that one of the NPCs smokes pot, another likes spooky places, and there are these little candy things that are excited if you give them an ear of corn so are essentially Patton.”

“Oh…” Virgil wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with this. “And you gave me your new game because…?”

“Music isn’t helping you, so maybe a game can! If you don’t want to play, it’s OK, but it’s an idea at least.”

Virgil looked at the laptop. “Are you sure?”

“About the game helping? Well, no but it’s something we can try.”

“No, about lending me your laptop? What if I drop it or accidentally download something icky and break it or…”

“Hey, breathe. I know you guys said that whatever I have on my laptop, you guys get on yours within the mindscape, so you should have it on yours. So, I guess if you want to go grab your laptop, you can, but I figured that this would be easiest for you as you don’t have to lose sight of me while anxiety is trying to list every bad thing that has a high chance of never happening.”

“Oh…”

“So, you going to play?” Thomas asked, playfully nudging his anxious side.

Virgil shifted so he was sure he wouldn’t accidentally drop his host's laptop before hitting the new button. He went through the character design page and watched the scene with the grandfather. Then the game opened and he started figuring out how the game mechanics worked.

Thomas smiled as he watched the anxious side plant some parsnips before heading into town to start meeting people. Not even five minutes into the game, the host could feel the knot in his stomach vanish and he finally felt relaxed.

“So?”

“Shut up, Sanders. I have parsnips to water.”

Thomas laughed but watched the anxious side play for a it longer. He waited until the side was halfway through the month without another shoot of anxiety hitting him before deciding that he could go take his nap now. Virgil waved him off, as he harvested parsnips from the little patch outside his cabin.

Virgil wasn’t aware of how much time in real life passed before Patton’s voice intruded on his new mental lists of things he needed to do in the game. “Hey there, kiddo! You doing alright?”

“Hey, Pat. Yeah, I’m chill.”

“Is that Thomas’s laptop? Whatcha doing with it?” Patton asked, curiously.

“He downloaded a game for me and now I’m playing it.”

“Oooh! Can I watch!?”

“Sure.”

Patton jumped into the seat next to his best friend. The game looked cute and Virgil seemed to have put a lot of work into his little farm already. Patton cuddled in close and watched. The Flower Dance was his favorite part as Virgil moved into the first day of summer. Virgil frantically went around preparing his little farm for summer planting, finding that there was not enough time in the short days to accomplish everything he wanted to.

“…noying as you!”

“Hey, shut up. I’m busy!”

The twins looked at the couch in surprise to see Patton curled up against Virgil while Virgil worked on Thomas’s laptop. They glanced at each other, wondering what was going on, but also reminded of what they had been doing before popping up.

“Hey, since the two of you are here, can you settle something for us?” Roman asked.

“What’s up, kiddos?” Patton asked, looking over as Virgil cranked up the game’s music in response.

“Well, Remus…” Roman started off on a long-winded rant that was rudely interrupted constantly by noise from whatever Virgil was doing. Finally, the prince moved over and looked at the laptop. It was some computer game around farming? Virgil opened the social tab and looked through the list, seeing how many hearts he had with Marnie.

“Oooh, ‘single’? Does that mean you can go woo some villagers?” Roman asked, grinning.

“Once you have enough friendship hearts, yeah. Then date and marry them. You can even have two children with them.” Virgil answered, closing out of the social screen.

“That looks interesting! When is it my turn?!”

“Not now.”

“But I want to play the new game!”

“You have your own computer.”

“But it’ll be a whole new game! This one is already well underway!”

“You are not messing up my farm, Princey. I’ve put a lot into it and I do not need you going in and messing things up.”

“If only we could all play together! That would be so much fun!” Patton said.

“I… well…maybe? Let me finish this day and I can check something.”

“You think there’s a way to do multiplayer!?”

“If I remember the start screen well enough, yeah.”

Patton started giggling as he jumped off the couch. “I’ll go get my laptop then! Come on, you two!”

Virgil rolled his eyes as Pat and the twins vanished back into the mindscape. He finished up his day before closing out of his farm and looking into the co-op option. He slowly figured out how to set it up and had just opened the new farm when the three of them returned with their laptops.

It took Virgil a little investing to figure out how to share it with the others but it worked out and soon they had their first crop planted. Not even three days into the game, Roman had announced his intentions of wooing Elliot, who he insisted was the most romantic NPC. Remus liked pulling trash out of their little ponds and gifting it to everyone. Patton was talking to everyone and just enjoying the game. Virgil was happy that the planting and harvesting of crops was less stressful with extra help.

 ****

 It was too quiet. Logan liked the quiet, but it was also nerve-wracking. He knew the twins had been arguing pretty much all afternoon over Remus having released a goose into the Imagination and it had apparently chased Roman from one end to the other with a knife. Something about some game. It was still too early in the afternoon for the twins to have stopped yelling at each other. He also didn’t hear Patton singing or a movie in the background, breaking up the silence. Logan also knew that this was a bad day for Virgil, but he assumed that the anxious side fell asleep or something.

“Have you seen the trash rat?” a voice asked behind Logan.

Logan would deny the small shout and jumping as he spun to see Dee standing there, unamused. He quickly recomposed himself and straightened his tie. Dee noted that the logical side’s eyes were relieved though upon seeing him.

“Salutations, Dee. No, I have not seen Remus. I have not seen anyone in the past couple of hours, in fact.”

“Locked yourself in your room again, have you?”

“No, I have not. I was reading in the commons. I eventually noticed that everything was too calm though and went to investigate. You are the first side I have seen since.”

Dee raised an eyebrow. “Well, those four don’t have enough brain cells to open a jar with instructions right in front of them.”

“Which also concerns me.”

“Have you checked Thomas’s house, yet? The hissing cat of a side would probably place himself where he could see Thomas if the anxiety from earlier was any indication.”

Logan considered it. “No, I have not. That is a valid point though.”

“Let’s go, then.”

Logan hadn’t even fully risen up before he heard Roman screeching. He assumes that this meant the goose with a knife didn’t kill the prince in the Imagination, then. Logan noted all the sides who’d been missing, sitting around the living room on their laptops. Roman was screeching at his twin about something with hitting someone with a slingshot.

“Glad to see that you lot didn’t get yourselves lost in the mindscape.” Dee drawled.

“Shut up, I have blueberries to harvest and I already have that mess over there to ignore,” Virgil stated.

“What?” Dee and Logan responded in unison, confused.

“We’re playing a farming game! Do you two want to join?” Patton asked excitedly.

“Wiki says that multiplayer only goes up to four, Pat,” Virgil commented.

“Well, if you’re playing a game, there are bound to be mods.”

 ****

 Thomas woke up groaning as light hit him. Blearily he glanced at the time, surprised to see that what was supposed to be a short nap turned into a full night of sleep plus some. He ran a hand through his hair, knowing that he was in for a long lecture from Logan about sleeping for 16 hours.

He got out of bed and got ready for the day, unnaturally so calm that it mildly worried him. He couldn’t even worry himself about the lack of anxiety. He finally started downstairs before the voices in the living room alerted him to the fact his sides were all present.

Thomas peeked around the wall, to see all his sides sitting around the living room on their laptops. A giant whiteboard sat in front of the TV with Logan’s scribbled handwriting all over it. On Thomas’s coffee table sat his laptop, with the game that he’d given Virgil open. It took a moment before Thomas realized what was going on, but he chuckled to himself when he did.

After taking a picture of the living room, Thomas continued downstairs as Logan stood up and went to the whiteboard. He scribbled something next to Roman’s name before coloring in a patch of squares. Thomas greeted the room. Logan was the only one to glance over to the host. Everyone else kept their eyes focused on the game, though they all muttered a greeting back.

Thomas went into the kitchen to make some breakfast. He decided on some eggs and toast. Easy, no real thought process. He opened the fridge and pulled out the egg carton. Taking an egg out, he was struck with the disappointed thought of ‘the spirits and chickens must be displeased with me today’.

The host marched into the living room and over to his anxious side. He didn’t say anything as he held the egg up to him. Virgil glanced up and noticed his host and the egg. The anxious side didn’t have anything to say, so merely shrugged.

“The spirits and chickens must be displeased then.”

“I don’t even know what that means!”

“They are displeased.”

Patton giggled. “You want to join us, Thomas?”

“We already have a cabin and character set up for you, if you would like to join our group one. Just be careful not to close the command prompt. It will shut the game down. We had to add mods to play with everyone.” Logan commented, looking over his board of information.

Thomas looked around at his living room full of sides, peacefully–or well as peacefully as he could ever hope– playing the game. Sure, the twins were bickering, but that was more of their sibling relationship than actual anger this time.

“Won’t it mess up whatever you guys already got going on?”

“Nah, Lo would just reorganize who tends to which crops. Real issue would be who you plan on dating. I’ve called Elliot, Patton is going for Sam, Remus wants Emily, Logan is after Maru, Dee wants to date Shane, and Vee is in between dating Sebastian or Abigail or even just rooming with Krobus. But if you would rather one of them, I’m sure we’d be willing to let you, our most amazing and beloved host, steal our crush.” Roman said.

“Flattery will not save you if he wants the isolated writer on the beach, kiss-up,” Dee commented.

“Statistically speaking, it is more likely that Thomas would choose one of Virgil’s choices due to the fact he is in between three choices or one of the remaining dating NPCs. Factoring in his preferences though, he is most likely to pursue Sam or Sebastian.”

“I have no idea what any of that means, but sure. I’ll join. Just let me get some breakfast.” Thomas glanced at his anxious side. “Without the spirits or whatever being disappointed. I’ll have you know that these are technically large eggs and I have no idea why that is an important factor or whatever.”

“That works. I will factor your playing into our assignments.” Logan said, setting his laptop in front of Patton. “Make sure Logic gets to be before the hard bedtime.”

Thomas laughed as he shook his head. He went back into the kitchen to make something to eat, occasionally peeking into the living room as he heard Dee try and convince Logan to give him a certain crop while the logical side rearranged the work. Thomas couldn’t help the smile as he decided that he would need to find some way to thank Talyn for this suggestion. Still, that was for later. He wasn’t getting anything other than virtual farming done today since all of his sides seemed to be intent on this.

“The spirits are very happy today.” Thomas found himself muttering, not sure what it meant but knowing that it was a good thing.

[yumi-michiyo]

Tempo [5/?]

Rating: K+, may be subject to change later

Genre: Humour/Fluff/Slowburn

Pairing(s): Kristoff/Elsa (Kristelsa), some Kristoff/Anna (Kristanna)

Summary: Their pace varies; sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but always in harmony. Canon!AU, takes place immediately after the first movie. A series of drabbles.

Part 1 here

Part 2 here

Part 3 here

Part 4 here

Five: Con Slancio – with enthusiasm

“Do you think we could see it?”

“See what?”

“Your house.”

Kristoff hesitated. “Uh, it’s not really fit for visitors at the moment.” That was an euphemism, really; he hadn't been back in months. His house (really a hut) was probably musty and leaky and generally uninhabitable.

"I don't mind,” said Elsa gently, “you know that.” 

Of course he did. Even now, closer to acquaintances than friends, Kristoff knew that Elsa wasn’t the type of person that cared about appearances. He just didn't like the idea of bringing her somewhere unpleasant; especially not after he had finally broken the chain of bad luck that dogged their little trips together. 

It was also rare that Elsa made requests; enough that Kristoff would have given her the moon if she’d asking him for it. 

He realised Elsa was still waiting for an answer.

Clearing his throat, Kristoff said: "Let me go take a look and clean it up before we head there, okay? Wouldn't want you to think I live in a garbage dump."

Her laughter was musical. "Kristoff," she protested, "I would never think that."

Kristoff decided to go for humour. “You say that, but wait ‘til you see it.”

He was busy, and the trip kept being postponed. Gradually the promise fell from his mind.

Until the day he, Anna, and Elsa were delayed on their way back from a trip to the ice lakes. It was dark by the time they were halfway through. “We shouldn’t have dallied that long,” he fretted. 

“I’m sorry,” said Anna dejectedly. “I shouldn’t have insisted on meeting Jovnna’s family.” She slumped lower in the seat beside him. 

“No, it’s okay. I should’ve kept a better track of time.” Kristoff wrapped an arm around Anna’s shoulders and squeezed. “C’mon, cheer up, Fiestypants. You were just being nice.” 

Inwardly, though, Kristoff’s mind was racing, calculating their options. They risked being attacked by wolves if they continued on, not to mention the dangers of pitfalls and crevasses; the moon was a slim crescent, not enough to light the path reliably. 

“Oh,” he said suddenly. 

“Oh?”

“My house.”

“Your house?” It was Elsa who had spoken this time. 

“Yeah, I have a hut around this area,” said Kristoff, deliberately not meeting Elsa’s gaze. “We can spend the night there and continue travelling next morning.”

“You have a house?” asked Anna, wrinkling her nose. “Don’t you, like, live with your family?”

Kristoff snorted. “And sleep curled up among the rocks? Yeah, no thanks.” He flicked Sven’s reins. “You know the way, buddy,” he said to the reindeer, who snorted. Turning back to Anna, he continued: “I got my own place once I was old enough to look after myself.” 

“And how old were you when that happened?” 

“Uhhh…” He didn’t know when he was born. Kristoff vaguely remembered a faceless woman tell him he was six winters old some time before the accident. He couldn’t remember exactly how much time had passed between then and the time he’d run off to the trolls. “I’m twenty-one winters old this year, I reckon; so I must’ve been… fifteen?” 

“You reckon? You don’t know how old you are?” Anna put her hand on his arm. “Kristoff, when's your birthday?"

Kristoff shrugged. Heat prickled the back of his neck. “I dunno. Look, it wasn’t really important then, and it still isn’t. What matters is that you're old enough to work and look after yourself. Me and Sven just add a year on the first day of spring; that’s easy enough to remember.” 

Whatever Anna said in response was lost when the sled jerked; Sven had darted forward. 

"Whoa! What's the big hurry, Sven?" Kristoff squinted ahead. He glimpsed a familiar trail marker and whooped in excitement. “Alright! We’re close! Home, buddy!” 

The reindeer harrumphed excitedly and sped up. 

"Don't think we're done with this conversation, reindeer boy," huffed Anna. 

Kristoff pretended not to hear as he pulled up the sled in a clearing in front of a hut. He hopped off, already fishing out the key from inside his shirt. "Uh," he said, "welcome to my house." 

"Oooh, this looks nice." Anna bounced eagerly on the balls of her feet behind him as he fumbled with the lock.

The smell hit him when he got the door open. It smelt musty, and every surface Kristoff could see had a thick coat of dust. Luckily, it was mostly intact otherwise. Kristoff exhaled in relief.

"Oooh," repeated Anna brightly and with more enthusiasm, unwinding her scarf. "This looks nice." 

"Oh, shoot, hang on." He darted forward, scooping up a dirty plate from the table and shoving it into a cupboard, out of sight. "Sven! Can you wait outside for a bit while I get your stall ready?"

Sven froze in the doorway, snorted his assent, and then backed out. Elsa stepped into the house around him, looking amused. 

“No, wait.” He retrieved a broom from the cupboard in the corner of the hut. "Uh, can you guys wait outside in the sled?" Kristoff surveyed the place; his eye traveled over the untidy dining table and the cold hearth full of ash. At the very least, he'd remembered to strip his bed before he’d left, so the cupboard was full of clean bedding.

He'd been perfectly content with all this before, but now it seemed shabby and small compared to the castle.

Anna bounded over. "Can we help?" 

"It's fine."

"Please?" It was Elsa who spoke this time. 

Kristoff hesitated. "Look, I don't really wanna be the guy who made the queen and princess of Arendelle do housework…"

"But this is kinda survival work." Anna waved a hand. "It's fine. Is this where you keep your cleaning stuff?" She pointed at the cupboard.

"Actually, can you two help me get a fire going?" Kristoff said.

"Consider it done."

"Great. There should be firewood in the other corner – " he pointed "– and a box of matches next to it." Kristoff caught himself. "Wait, do you know how to start a fire? You need to sweep all the ashes out of the hearth first."

"I'm on it," said Anna excitedly. She grabbed the rake.

"Wait, Anna! Set out the cloth on the floor first!" He dropped the broom and snatched up the cloth – just in time for Anna to sweep a large pile of ash onto it. 

"That worked out fine," said Anna. "We make a good team." She stacked logs in the hearth, quickly getting the fire started.

When Kristoff straightened up, he noticed Elsa had picked up his discarded broom and was finishing up the work. "You don't have to do that," he said, holding out his hand for the broom.

"It's fine," she said. "Like Anna said, this is survival work." Elsa smiled at him, and resumed her work.

Kristoff blushed. "Uh, well, if you say so." He busied himself with cleaning up Sven's stall, going to the storage shed outside to fetch clean straw.

He paused to knock snow off his boots on the step. In the short time he was gone, there was a fire crackling in the hearth and a mound of blankets in front of it. Kristoff frowned. The mound was… cackling…?

"Elsa found a cupboard full of blankets and cleaned it out," said the blankets. Anna poked her head out, her hair a complete mess. "This is gonna be the best blanket fort ever."

He dumped the clean straw in the stall and called Sven in. "I guess we don't need that anymore," said Kristoff with a sigh as the reindeer clumped in, spotted the blanket pile, and excitedly burrowed into the mound.

"Oops. I'm sorry," she said.

"Nah, he's just ungrateful that way."

Sven brayed indignantly, and Kristoff laughed. "Okay, what do you need for this fort of yours?"

"Can you fetch me some chairs, please?"

He'd never built a blanket fort before. Anna didn't seem to care, and cheerfully bullied him and Elsa (who had finished sweeping) into following her directions until they had a snug nest.

"Perfect," said Anna. "Sven?"

The reindeer – his antlers part of the fort's structural support – lifted his head, creating an entrance. She crawled in and sat up on her haunches. "Come in, guys."

"Glad you think so." Kristoff obediently occupied the space Anna indicated to him, on her right. On Anna's other side, Elsa tucked her legs under her and yawned.

"Goodnight, everyone." She crawled into the space between them, tucked a pillow under her head, and fell asleep.

Kristoff was exhausted. Sleep tugged at his senses, willing him to rest. But he fought it, sitting upright and glancing over at Elsa. "Are you comfy? Are you cold? I have some furs somewhere."

"I'm fine," said Elsa around a huge yawn.

It was the most unqueenly thing he'd seen her do, and only his own exhaustion was stopping him from bursting into laughter. "Okay. Uh – let me know if you need anything else."

She nodded. "Kristoff?"

“Hmm?”

“You don’t live in a garbage dump.” She lay down and closed her eyes. 

“That’s because you guys helped clean it,” he muttered, but she was already asleep.

He woke to the sound of rocks grinding.

It wasn't unpleasant; he'd been raised by trolls, and the harsh grating sound was common when their rock bodies collided. But it was much louder than Kristoff was accustomed to, and he was also very snug and warm – something not associated with trolls.

Kristoff opened his eyes.

The grating sound was coming from Anna, who was snoring loud enough for a valley of trolls.

He squinted at her. Kristoff vaguely remembered Anna falling asleep between himself and Elsa… and now she was on top of him, which meant…

Kristoff glanced to his left, and saw white-blonde hair.

His chest was currently a pillow for Anna, like how his left arm was Elsa's pillow. He was lying on his back and completely immobilized by Arendelle's queen and princess.

He sighed. He tested his right arm and found it occupied by Sven. "You too, buddy?"

Sven huffed sleepily and settled closer to them.

What light he could see was bright enough to penetrate the roof of the blanket fort, which probably meant it was close to midday. Kristoff was amazed by how late they'd slept; he was normally up with the sun.

His head rolled to the left towards Elsa. She was still sound asleep. 

When he flexed his arm, she muttered something in her sleep and clutched his hand. 

Kristoff froze.

[brownskinsugarplum76]

Eye of the Storm, Ch 6

This one came tumbling out of my brain pretty quickly... I've really fallen in love with these two together! 😍😍😍 No smut, but we continue the love-fest. I also go into what happened between Robert and Maggie after the one shot Tequila Sunrise. I plan on going into more flashbacks later. (Catch up on the rest of the Eye of the Storm chapters here.)

Thanks as always to @firethatgrewsolow for the read. ❤️❤️❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maggie and Robert caught Strider gleefully chasing after the birds and barking his excitement. They could tell right away that he meant no harm to the seagulls, he was just excited to find playmates.

Because there was some distance between them and Strider, Robert put two fingers in his mouth and whistled. The dog raced toward his master, as though playing with his feathered friends would never match the connection he had to Robert.

Strider wagged his tail expectantly, and Robert crouched to scratch behind his pet's ears. "Hey, boy! What kind of adventures did you get into with those birds? Hmm? Couldn't wait for me to get some exercise? What am I going to do with you, huh?"

"He's got you wrapped around his paw, hasn't he?" Maggie watched with amusement as her magnetic, masculine boyfriend suddenly became a boyish imp who didn't seem to have the heart to scold his pet.

"He is certainly a big part of my life when I'm at home." He glanced up at Maggie but quickly trained his eyes back on Strider. He resumed ruffling the dog's fur with joy.

"So much so that you brought him across the ocean and a big country to live with you, it seems."

"Exactly. I couldn't go that long without my boy!" He turned back to his pet. "Strider, this is Maggie. You'll be seeing a lot of her for a while. I hope you two can be friends? She's special to me, just like you."

"Hey, Strider! I grew up with a dog in my house, so I am definitely pleased to meet you." She stroked his fur and then scratched behind his ears, just like Robert had.

"Do you like the beach? I do, too! I love to go every chance I can get, and I'm so excited that you and Robert live here! I'd love to walk you out here. What do you say?"

She continued to pet Strider, and he nuzzled against her, glad to have met a new friend.

"He's been cooped up almost all day; that might explain why he escaped. Why don't we all take a walk now?"

"That's a good idea, Robert."

"I'll let you bond with him a little more, while I get his favorite ball."

"Absolutely. I'd love to keep this cutie company." Maggie resumed petting Strider's mottled coat and talking to him. He was content to bask in Maggie's attention.

Maggie couldn't have asked for a better day: seeing Robert again, becoming his special roommate, and knowing it was just the beginning of a couple of blissful weeks with him. It was like she was living inside of a rock and roll fairytale, and she planned to cherish every second.

Strider perked his ears up and wagged his tail, seconds before a ratty tennis ball soared over his head. "All right, doggo, go fetch!" Robert yelled from a distance.

He reached Maggie by the time Strider clamped down on the runaway ball. "I thought you might want this," he said, helping her into her jacket. The wind had whipped up a bit, the waves were reclaiming some of the shoreline, and sunset was on its way.

"Thanks. It is starting to get a little chilly."

Strider returned and dropped the ball at Robert's feet. "Good boy. Nothing ever gets past you! Maybe there's a tryout for you with Wolverhampton in the future, hmm?"

Robert threw Strider's ball once more, and the pet was off again.

"Fancy a walk?" Robert placed a hand on the small of Maggie's back.

"I'd love to."

They stopped and started down the beach, pausing to throw Strider's ball, examine seashells, and kiss.

"This is a lot like that first night…" Robert started.

"But very different in other ways…"

"And not just because we're sober and not horizontal!" Robert chuckled before he got serious. "Maggie, having you here really feels like my life has regained something it was missing after the accident… I'm so glad we ran into each other. I feel more complete, more alive somehow… Does that make sense? I've never felt this way before."

"I completely understand. I felt so at home when we went inside your place, and I feel like Strider and I will be good friends in no time. I don't know, it just…"

"...Feels right." Robert finished her thought, grasped her face, and sent her reeling with a spellbinding kiss.

They smiled at each other while their lips still touched and  kissed some more.

"We've already woken up to a majestic sunset together; how about we watch the sun go down this time?" Robert sat on the sand, back where it was still dry, with his legs spread wide. He motioned for Maggie to join him, and whistled for Strider to take a break with them.

Maggie sat down between Robert's legs, and he wrapped his arms around her. Strider enjoyed the feel of Maggie's hand in his fur.

Maggie was soothed by the smell of Robert's well-worn leather jacket and the sandalwood scent that was always there when he was close. It was a heady scent that was more powerful for her in that moment than the eternal fresh ocean smell that whipped around on the early evening air.

Robert kissed the top of her head and rested his hands on her shoulders. Just like back in 1972, they had the beach to themselves.

Maggie enjoyed the rapidly changing colors of the sky and marveled at how much had changed between them over the past few years. She was certain that her first encounter with Robert, back when she was working at the restaurant and trying to get her band off the ground, would just be a one-night fling. She was prepared to remember it as the most romantic one-night stand ever, with the most captivating man she'd ever met.

She thought that Robert asking for her number the next morning was just a polite way to say goodbye. But when he actually called the next day, and they spoke for hours… It was beyond belief.

He arranged for a car to take her to The Forum the following day, and she watched in the wings after having missed the San Diego show while working. The concert was phenomenal, and her sampling of tour life afterward was more outrageous than she could've imagined. It was a long night of partying and transcendent intimacy with Robert. She slept soundly through the ride back to San Diego, and her dreams were filled with visions of the vivacious blond singer.

It was a lovely beginning for them, and was joined with many more memorable encounters, of lively parties, romance, intelligent conversation, and commiserating on artistry at times. Robert was as much a friend to her as a lover, a friend who had climbed all the peaks and valleys that she was starting to climb, one who was more than willing to give her a boost when needed.

Their history made her that much more willing to experience every happy moment possible with him and work through every bad one that was to come.

"Penny for your thoughts, Mags?" Robert murmured his question in her ear after realizing she had gone silent.

"I'm just thinking about us."

"Good thoughts, I hope?" He heated her inside with delicate kisses along her jawline.

"Only the best." She sighed and noticed that Strider had fallen asleep.

"I've said it before, but you've always been a highlight for me whenever we come out west. You understand quite a bit of my life, having lived along a similar track. You've had every right, on many occasions, to get angry, never take my phone calls again, or send the driver packing, but you're always there for the next trip with a smile. God knows I don't deserve someone like you, with all the Good Time Percy galavanting I've done. Just… Thank you."

Maggie nuzzled against his chest and enjoyed the moment.

"I was an absolute mess here after the accident. If no one had come around to see me, I'd probably be back in that caveman beard that I shaved off a little before I met you, drinking Bovril and screaming at the soccer games on the TV. I had just started getting back on track with my voice… But then my body takes a big hit? And there was no certainty as to whether things would ever be right again? I couldn't handle it. I didn't want to deal with it, just wanted to lay low. And then it became a big, months-long pity party--a pity party with women and stimulants and anything else to chase the blues away. But the blues never left. If I had let you in… If I had sought you out when things went bad… I…"

"It's water under the bridge, Robert. Really. Just don't let it happen again. OK?

It was Maggie's turn to give Robert a searing kiss." Seriously, don't hide out if you're feeling low. I'm here for you."

"I will share your load… Oooh, let me!" Robert belted out some of his ad libbing from Physical Graffiti. The wind carried off the sound, but the meaning was fully captured by Maggie's heart.

"Exactly, shameless front man!" She laughed and sprung to her feet, dusting the sand off her clothes.

"I'm cold now… Race you back to the house?" Without a reply from Robert, she was off, with Strider following along, awake again and ready to play the new game Maggie had started.

"Dammit, woman, not so fast! You know I'm taking it easy!" Robert gingerly jogged the first few yards and, feeling fine, sprinted as best he could in the twilight to close the distance between them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of my stories are here, or search for the hashtag #brownskinsugarplumlibrary

[crazymecjc]

Quotes from Mary Poppins

So I was in Mary Poppins this summer and it was the best show I've ever done, it was also one of the funniest backstage experiences I've ever had so here's some quotes from rehearsals :)

I'm referring to everyone by their character names except if they're my friends yeet

My friend Miranda, staring me dead in the eyes: “Cannibalism."

Both of us simultaneously: "hmmmm”

Miranda, frantically: “Do you want some.... boNeLesS AiR”

(She then proceeded to research if boneless air was a thing for like ten minutes)

Me, angrily: “buT wE hAvEnt had our mILK”

Honestly idk who this was: “What is in your boob?”

(Context: we were all volunteering at a meat raffle, which I didn't know was a thing before then but ok)

The guy in charge of the raffle: “If you’re selling tickets, stand up”

*everyone simultaneously drops to the floor*

Guy running the raffle: “Hors d’oeuvres is not a person”

The same guy, a half hour later: “I’m not trusting you, because you said hors d’oeuvres were a country”

The radio:“I’m looking for some way to bond with my kids” Miranda, whispering: “Mr. Banks?”

My friend Anthony:“That’s like the worst way to reduce reuse recycle”

Miranda during rehearsal for Step in Time, pretending to be on Disney Channel:“Hi, I’m a low class citizen, and the only time I see the light of day is at night”

Anthony, sinisterly:“We’re all dead bodies in the end”

Anthony, in the car: “Smells like... g g g g g g g g g g ggrravy”

Miranda:“buT THEY TORE MY spinal cord.... aGAIN!?!?!”

Anthony, walking out of rehearsal:“It smells like a hot dog out here”

Me:“mE”

Anthony, incredulous:“you smell like a hotdog?!?”

Also Anthony:“My uvula is quook”

My friend Maddie, who we all call Marcy bc that was her "character" for the show and it stuck:“Why do you guys know what windex smells like??? Hello???”

Miss Andrew: “You don’t smell windex? What’s wrong with you???”

Anthony, in the car, shouting:“sTEP AWAY FROM THE GOODS”

Anthony, discussing Into the Woods:“I feel like Little Red is sort of like Smeagol”

Me: “There’s a whole family standing in the middle of the road??”

Anthony:“Are they ok?” Me:"They’re not even crossing, they’re just chilling.”

Anthony to me, while in the fake plant section at the craft store: “It’s like you’re trying to get into leaf Narnia”

Miranda to me: “You look like the Kool Aid Man”

Anthony, to me:“Go onto stage like ‘OoOh yEaH”

Anthony, to the tune of one of he songs:“Reeeedd Robin, Yum!”

Miranda, dramatically crossing her legs:“I’m a fucking queen” *mouth pops*

Miranda calling after me on my way out the door:“Wait I’ve gotta tell you a secret “ *whispers in one ear* “the snack that smiles back” * in other ear* “goldfish”

Me, singing:“Someone is returning”

Miranda:“the demons in my house when I’m coming home”

Miranda, in a whisper:“Mary and Bert look like they’re gonna fight”

Anthony, in the car: “No one is alone.. that’s kinda scary”

Anthony:“When I was young, I ate people”

Miranda:“crispy”

Miranda, in the car after a long rehearsal, exhausted:“Can we play some tunes? I don’t want some hard tunes tho, I want gentle tunes”

I honestly don't know who this was, probably Anthony:“Why are you discriminating against whales?”

Miranda, with jazz hands:“Just a spoonful of... pizazz!”

Miranda, a few minutes later:“Just a spoonful of soot helps the depression go down”

Miranda:“What’s the month after January?”

Me, sister struggling:*counts on fingers* “October, November, December, January, feBRUARY”

Anthony,:“Doesn’t it smell like cat food? Oh no that’s McDonalds”

Anthony:“You smell like Cheerios.”

Me:“Thanks????”

Mary, standing by the roof set we had:“Bert, you look like a cat”

Bert, on the roof: “meow”

Marcy, working on her character:“I’m doing research... drug research “

Marcy, trying to explain her character to me:“Marcy Tippetome is a drug addict. But she’s addicted to Tylenol”

Bert:“Bloody hell”

Michael:“sTOP THERE ARE CHILDREN “

Bert:“well you’re the one who keeps pretending to shoot people on stage”

Anthony, singing:“Someone smells like celery!!!!”

Anthony, moments later:“So I was in my room and my body collapsed”

Miss Andrew:“In 20 years I’ll be like ‘hey, you owe me a soda kid’”

Michael:“I’ll be dead in 20 years”

Mr. Banks:“All hair is dead”

Miranda:*bad Italian accent* “would you like some rigatoni???”

Anthony:“Spit the alcohol out Marcy”

Miranda, ranting:“The government can leave. I only know... I don’t know English”

Miranda, reenacting the Sound of Music:“Donde es Maria??”

Miranda and Anthony:*speaking in simmish for ten minutes*

Bert:“I’m gonna hiss. Like a cat. Meow.”

Mary:“Bert, I’m done with you. Jump off the rooftop.”

Probably Anthony??? I don't know:“My name is Margaret, and I like cheese”

Me:“Michael who? I only know mILK”

Anthony:“Remember when I asked what century it was?”

Anthony:“There’s blood on my finger”

Miranda, deadpan:“blood is the cure”

Me:“There’s something in your pocket”

Anthony, nonchalantly:“it’s just a chair”

One of the statues:“Ohmigod who’s on your phone screen Anthony?”

Anthony:“I’m gay”

Anthony, staring into the distance:“Death is my cure”

Anthony, moments later:*valley girl accent* “I’m gonna die”

Miranda, disdainfully:“I never had emo phase. I didnt want to associate with tHAT”

Me to Anthony because he had to wear this frog costs and it was skintight: “Dicks out for Mary Poppins”

Anthony, giving Mrs Banks a hug:“Hi mom!”

Mrs. Banks, deadpan:“did I give you the permission to touch me?”

Anthony, after we went to Wendy's:“Oh my gosh there’s a spoon between my legs! I just wanted my phone and I reached down and then... there’s ice cream on my crotch”

Also Anthony:“I was exhaling really intensely the other day and my tongue started flopping around”

My little brother right before tech week:“Dress rehearsal?? More like stress rehearsal”

Anthony:“Marcy put the Tylenol DOWN!”

Miranda:“Noooo, she’s doing cocane”

(I swear we're good children I'm sorry)

The lady who played Queen Victoria, approaching Miranda:“Can you blow into my eye?”

An ensemble member:“Don’t choke me”

Mr. Banks:“I don’t even know you yet”

Miss Lark, handing someone her dog puppet:“Here, hold my bitch”

Literally all of my friends: *simultaneous “it’s poppin”*

Who knows, but now we all say it:“Rest IP”

Anthony, buying frozen yogurt at the mall between shows:“Is chocolate supposed to be crispy??”

Me, dying inside because I thought it would be a good idea to leave my show tights on while we went to the mall:“Oh No tHeReS SorBeT oN mY TigHtS!?!”

Ok backstory: we had this table for Spoonful of Sugar that is supposed to break and then magically repair itself. So it's motor powered, and so far it's been working great. Fun! So the last night of the show arrives. I accidentally sweep the guy playing Robertson Ay because he's on the floor, so we're already dying. Mary goes to fix the table, and it goes as planned, only to revert back to broken a moment later with a bang. I'm breaking character, and trying to keep singing, but I lose it bc out stage manager offstage, sounding completely dead inside, goes:“Well, there goes the table.”

????:“Why is it wet??” Anthony:“Because I salivate”

Michael, on his way out the door on closing night:“Keep it poppin”

(I cried)

Other notable moments:

This girl started crying about cows in the middle of rehearsal bc she loved them so much

The guy who played Mr. Banks did origami and he made me a dragon

The lady playing Mrs Andrew would regularly balance chairs on her chin

I had to pretend to rip a dolls arm off and the second night I actually ripped its arm off oops

One night I forgot to preset said doll, so it didn't have an arm for a full scene

We'd been joking about building a fort in the dressing room for a while so on the last day, we walked in to find Mrs Banks surrounded by chairs. "It's Fort Banks." She said. Someone had blankets in their car and suddenly there was an actual blanket fort in the dressing room

The girl who played the messenger would write letters to Mr Banks to read during the shows. One of them was about robbing a bank, I think??? She gave him her address and we're still waiting for a reply for the final letter

The flying equipment got caught on the lights one rehearsal and Bert almost died

We'd sing Feed the Birds for warm ups sometimes and I'd cry. every. time.

We were in the Disney store, and the Mary Poppins trailer starts playing as we’re buying Mary Poppins shirts, with Mary Poppins shirts already on

[moonlightfiction]

Chapter 12 - Part 3

Everyone has their own doubts and worries but the gods will always watch over them.

Start Here Previous Part

Every time the wind blew, it seemed gentler and warmer. Much like it brought the sun season to Gladisu, it brought a smile to Filian’s lips.

His gaze wandered from the flying griffons to the people wandering with him. The girls chatting and laughing far in front of him. The two men next to him, completely lost in their own conversation.

Filian walked by himself while keeping an eye on the beasts in the sky. He had always been alone. When he was younger, he spent so much time in the library. Nowadays he pondered about strategies and tactics. Having less company was not new to him. He always had his familiars at least.

The moment he thought of the two demons, he felt a sharp sting in his heart.

He was alone. He was really alone. This time, there was no one besides him. His familiars left him. He was far away from the capital where he grew up. And if they didn’t hurry, he could even lose what was dearest to him. He would never let anything harm Princess Constance. He couldn’t lose her. He didn’t want to be alone.

“Filian!”

The tactician almost jumped himself, when Falenyo jumped over to him. He had thought that he had himself under control but it didn’t seem to be the case.

Immediately, the cleric stopped in front of him. Her eyes grew wider and she looked right into his face. She had seen through him.

In the past few days, Filian had spent enough time with Falenyo to see her little quirks. In front of authority, she was talked less and listened more. She would carefully think about her words, much like it was asked for in her role as an ambassador. But with other people, she would just be straightforward and completely herself. Always worrying about others, just like now.

“Are you alright?”

The priestess had a modulated voice. Each of her words were pronounced clearly.

Filian had noticed it the first he met her. Now that he thought about it, it might be because she was an animal to begin with. She must have put a lot of effort into learning the human tongue.

But seeing and hearing her put the man at ease. At her question, he smiled and replied softly, “Everything is alright. What brings you to me?”

He glances over to the two other women. For a moment Ina’s eyes met his but she quickly turns away to talk to Shijira again. He should definitely keep his guard up around Ina. He had seen her kind around the palace sufficiently.

“Ah, I just wanted to ask whether it is alright for us to spend time like this,” Falenyo admitted.

She now had narrowed her eyes a bit to examine him closely.

Filian grinned and put a hand on her head.

She flinched and quickly put her hands next to his. That action again.

The tactician couldn’t help but chiding her, “You shouldn’t do that. Aren’t you proud of your heritage? You are a rabbit, so you should proudly show it like Zesa.” He slightly inclined his head and pulled his hand away. “And as he has said, the griffons are still too angry about his arrows to be flying with us now.”

With a sigh, Falenyo nodded and she looked up to the animals up in the sky. Then her eyes wandered across the scenery.

They had left the valley and the landscape became more even again. The dust on their shoes was slowly brushed off by the sparse grass that was growing. But in the distance the village was already visible. Nature became lusher the nearer they got to the settlement.

While she was regarding her surroundings, the priestess said, “I can’t do that. I mustn’t let anyone else know that I’m of animal descent. It would affect the negotiations badly.”

“Definitely not here in Gladisu,” Filian immediately retorted. “The more people are open to all the things in the world, the more they will be accepted here. You know how it is.”

Falenyo looked back to him in surprise. She shook her head and said, “Maybe here in Gladisu, but as an ambassador, I am the face of my world. I can’t fail my mission and I can’t fail my queen. I am going to fulfill her wish.”

With a slight frown, Filian looked at the girl. He had heard things about the queen of Egaios but he wouldn’t dive into that matter. Hence, he just inquired, “How come you are so loyal? I mean, you are a priestess. And even if you are somehow loyal to your sovereign, as far as I know, clerics are exempted from obeying royals.”

“Oh, yes, that’s right, but …” Falenyo slightly cocked her head. “I am nothing special. In the Temple of Light, the high priests get the most recognition. They are the ones who can praise the Goddess the best with their songs. But I, I can’t sing. I just don’t have the talent for it. So, I’ll be an unnamed, unknown and unimportant priestess all my life.”

A faint smile appeared on Filian’s face. What was a life for if one was forgotten afterwards? That was the reason he learned so hard to be by Constance’s side. To help her and if he wasn’t remembered, then hopefully at least his visions.

“We do want to stay remembered, don’t we?” He chuckles and nods. Then he puts a hand on Falenyo’s head and ruffles her hair. “But don’t you think, then you should even show more who you are? Imagine it! The very first priestess with animal heritage as the successful ambassador of Egaios!”

Hearing that, the cleric’s eyes widen. Finally, she smiled bashfully. “I’ll … think about it.”

That was all she said. But it wasn’t an empty promise. That would not be like her. She would think about it and he’ll see her solution by the time they get to the grand duke.

Filian was hoping that Zesa would also influence her decision. At least, it seemed to be the primary reason why the cat-boy was taking them with him.

Hence, he could only return her smile and encourage her, “I hope you will come to a satisfactory answer.”

Hearing his words, Falenyo just chuckled and changed the topic, “Where are Imtiyaz and Geet? I haven’t seen them in a while.”

Again, the sharp sting in the heart.

His smile must have faded for a moment because the cleric quickly said, “Ah, you don’t have to tell me! Sorry, I was too nosy!”

Filian shook his head. She shouldn’t worry. Not about someone like him. Not if they weren’t that familiar with each other. Hence, he simply lied, “They are a bit hard to tame, so they just do whatever they want. When they wish to roam the lands, I let them, since I don’t need them anyway now. When something comes up, I’ll call them.”

“Oooh! I see! You must be great friends.”

Without any doubt, Falenyo grinned and nodded, leaving Filian’s heart ache even more.

How could he say that?

Imtiyaz and Geet destroyed their contract as if it had been nothing. They were not going to return, no matter what he would do.

But at the same time, he somehow didn’t want Falenyo to worry. Thus, he didn’t correct himself and just watched her hopping back to the other girls as they neared the village.

Even though the grass had become greener after they had left the valley, the more they advanced to the settlement, the more yellow it became again.

A light frown appeared on Filian’s forehead. He hadn’t gotten any reports about a drought recently but it was not rare for it to happen. Gladisu didn’t have many rivers, so people settled down wherever they could find any water under the ground. But those reservoirs were quickly exhausted.

Were the people here still trying to live at this place? Or were they already packing to leave and move on?

“You …” Filian remembered something and looked over to Zesa. “You said, you were a priest of the god of the sea. Is that why you are here?”

He hurried a little bit to catch up with the man descending from the cats.

Slightly surprised, Zesa turned around. But then he nodded. “I have heard from the surrounding villages, that this one is getting into troubles. I can help. Not permanently, that will be your sovereign’s problem, but for the meantime … I can do something.”

“But why …?” Filian started.

Why would Zesa help? He was not like Falenyo, who was trying to form a bond between the countries and fulfill her queen’s wishes. He was not like Frecker, who’s only duty was to protect his charge and act accordingly to her whims. He was not like Ina, who definitely had some ulterior motive staying so close to the people with power.

There was no way Zesa would get recognition by helping small, almost unknown villages, would he?

A smile appeared on the man’s face and he said, “Our gods are benevolent and will never cease to help people. And when they help people, people will worship them and they get more power, isn’t it?”

Zesa’s gaze wandered from Filian over the girls, who all looked back to listen to the conversation now, to Frecker.

“I will show you, how it is possible for the gods to gain power even without people who explicitly worship them.”

Next Part

[moosenotes]

92 statements tag

thanks to @bio-shmio and @studuology for tagging me!!!!

edit: forgot to tag anyone, oops. tagging @starmapstudies​ @perimotivated​ @coronastudies​ @wilstudies​ @piiess​ (sorry if you’ve been tagged already and ya don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, since it’s so long)

i’m going to put this under a “read more” tag, since it’s so long, but here we go!!

LAST:

1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: a friend 3. Text message: project manager at work 4. Song you listened to: Rain by Mika 5. Time you cried: don’t remember, haha

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: nah 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. Been cheated on: not sure 9. Lost someone special: yeah 10. Been depressed: ya lol hi there 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: dark green, burgundy, black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes!!! 16. Fallen out of love: haven’t even been in love in the last year lmao 17. Laughed until you cried: ya 18. Found out someone was talking about you: nahh 19. Met someone who changed you: yeah

20. Found out who your friends are: yes

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: “kissed someone” hahaha funny

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: about a half of them?? i used facebook to keep in contact with my twitter friends when our part of twitter kinda died oops 23. Do you have any pets: I WISH 24. Do you want to change your name: ehh yes i guess

25. What did you do for your last birthday?: ate pizza, probably got drunk 26. What time did you wake up: 9:15 am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching CollegeHumor before going to bed 28. Name something you can’t wait for: moving out!!!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a couple of weeks ago, i think 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: idk, there’s lots 31. What are you listening to right now: some indian trap mix that was in my youtube recommended, it’s pretty dope tbh 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: not really something to talk about on the internet 34. Most visited websites: twitter, tumblr, youtube, wanikani, stardew valley wiki, bitbucket

35. Mole/s: tons

36. Mark/s: a whole bunch of scars, the most interesting one is on my right cheek, got cut with a scalpel when i was born, lmao, good times 37. Childhood dream: do computer stuff, be a musician 38. Hair color: brown 39. Long or short hair: it’s gotten quite long, but i’m thinking of getting it rly short 40. Do you have a crush on someone: weirdly enough - no, but i'm that one friend who always has a crush on someone

41. What do you like about yourself: a lot of stuff 42. Piercings: not yet 43. Blood type: no idea 44. Nickname: Mai!!! 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: virgo by sun, gemini by moon 47. Pronouns: he/him or they/them 48. Favorite TV Show: OITNB, Masterchef, a whole bunch of anime

49. Tattoos: got three, don’t wanna put them on the internet, i already know what it’s like when someone steals a tattoo idea

50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: there was once a period when i really really wanted dark green hair, but i never dyed it 53. Sport: running, skating (i wish i could do any tricks tho), basketball is cool, too, i guess 55. Vacation: never been outside the baltic states lmao 56. Pair of trainers: gonna buy some actual running shoes, but for now i have to do with really beaten up vans

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: more on the savory side, but in general i eat very healthily 58. Drinking: oh hell yas 59. I’m about to: play stardew 61. Waiting for: nothing 62. Want: to drink tbh holup lemme get some water 63. Get married: idk, if i’ll find the right person - why not 64. Career: probably something computer/technology related

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs, because i’m a shy bastard 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: depends?? short people are cute af tho 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: idk 71. Sensitive or loud: depends on how loud ;; 72. Hook up or relationship: relationships ftw 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: dependsss

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: yas lmao 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: don’t have them, so 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on the first date: nah 79. Broken someone’s heart: nope 80. Had your heart broken: ya 81. Been arrested: does it count if i have a conviction or whatever you call that in english for underage smoking 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: oh boy yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: oh hell yas!!! i slay 85. Miracles: yes 86. Love at first sight: yes

87. Santa Claus: i wish lmao 88. Kiss on the first date: i’m shY, OKAY

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: wooo-oooh, it’s just me, myself and i 91. Eye color: brown, but like!!! a real nice shade of brown, i’ve had people tell me they don’t like brown eyes, but like mine 92. Favorite movie: Amelie, also all of the Saw movies

[helmholtzresonance]

Oh but what is this? you might ask. Is it an analysis? A liveblog? Shared thoughts? A ~ 9.400 words essay? (Really, I have no sense of measure.) Because you have a bad memory, a way to remember important bits? Rambles? All? None? Well. Idk either. Enjoy! (Expect long-ass quotes, tho. And believe me when I say long-ass quotes.)

Btw, don’t read unless you listened to all the 8 episodes + 6 minisodes available. Just. Nope. Shoo.

I love The Bridge Podcast so much. Here’s a link to my favorite quotes.

Episode 1:

We are first greeted by the voice of the Welcome Brigade, which Etta hates. She is so happy that it shuts up. The Watchtower has the newest and most functional devices, I see.

“The distinction between lived-in and deserted - where whispers on the wind can carry welcomes or warnings - seems to be a pretty common theme out here. When night sets in, you can’t tell if that ship on the horizon harbors a single living soul - or if the silver glint bouncing off of its sails is more than just moonlight.“

Like how cool is this?? And the delivery of the lines is flawless ;3

Frank is their audience? Is he someone from their watchtower? From another one?  He’s from land, ok.

The Transcontinental Hotel was a success story for exactly 10 years. Then… something happened and nobody knows what for sure. Objects that may or may not belonged to the guests resurfaced, but the staff of the hotel left no trace. The daughter of the concierge may have escaped. Though the possibilities are grim.

The word “Return” has been carved on a wall in the ruins of the hotel. Or is it there as a warning? That what went down in there will happen again? A threat of the sea…  just a way to tell everyone to return to shore, to leave the transcontinental bridge forever? Or a threat for the sea?

People say they hear the concierge’s daughter cries in the middle of the night in the remains of the hotel, but people say those kind of things all the time. Nothing to worry. Right?

“So, that’s all I’ve got for you. Twelve broken windows, one word, and one nine-year-old girl.” We have initials for her: H.P. And Etta implies that she might have a connection to the word “return” appearing around other strange events around the bridge.

When I first listened to the episode, a while back, at 3AM (insomnia. why.) I wrote “We have Doug Eiffel on a bridge in the middle of the Atlantic. And Minkowski is there too”. (And I meant it with all the love, I listen to Wolf 359 and I’d die for Minkowski. My only fault is that I was a bit mislead by the voice acting – that “oh so guilty” voice that Etta and Doug display.) But they detach from them until the end of the episode, they become Etta and Roger.

We also have a dose of humor. You gotta love these 2:

ROGER:  Do I need to get you to read your job description again? ETTA (hastily) No, no. Once a week is really enough.

ROGER: You see that piece of paper on your desk? ETTA: Uhhh there are lots of pieces of paper on my— ROGER: The one to the left of the microphone. (exasperated) You folded it into a swan on your first day. ETTA: My job description?

And then it hits us again with:

“Well, it looks like there’s nothing happening on the Transcontinental Bridge because there’s no one on the road tonight. Or ever. It’s funny really. This thing has only been open for fifty years, and it’s already falling apart. People put all kinds of time and resources into building this thing and then they just toss it aside when they get bored. I mean, come on, this bridge spans the entire Atlantic Ocean! How cool is that?”

“How cool is that??” Indeed, Etta.

Then she invents the story about the car and the tentacle monster. And Roger might want to commit murder.

Then Roger sees something out the window, in the water, (plus a nice interference on the side) and demands to know what Etta did now. It’s not her. What member of the staff is not around? Bertie. Now they worry it’s him. But he calls is and demands to know about the chocolate. He had to go to Submare Level 3 to make sure that Bob is ok. (Bob’s a cutie.) Now Etta, Kate and Roger will go there to deal with the problem and /or offer moral support.

Did her mother drug her that night? Oh no. no. no. no. no. Etta. God. Etta that’s it I’m adopting you. My child.

I hate myself for not expecting the concierge to be a woman; I’m under the influence of another podcast concierge.

Episode 2:

“If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then perhaps you can dig up a recording of our last episode. There has to be one floating around out there, somewhere. But, if not, then my words, and the meaning behind them, become one more thing eroded away by time. “

This is a fairytale. It’s nostalgic and far away and yet so close. You are isolated, your voice goes to the void (that includes Frank) and… you say the words just to say them, they lose meaning, purpose, form, hope. You tell a story to get it out of you mainly, if it reaches somebody… it’s the second part.

“And you know that’s not why they built this thing. Nobody’s going to invest millions of dollars in a trans-continental game changer just so you can lend France a cup of sugar. But it’s romantic, isn’t it? Connection. It’s a nice idea, I guess: that you could drop everything one day and go, meet people you may have never known otherwise. But, as always, there’s a catch. If you want to meet those people, you have to cross one of the loneliest places in this world. You have to dance into the reach of the loneliest living things.”

“And no, Frank. I’m not talking about you.” Ouch. But what did he do??

CONNECTION. We are between people, but we are alone. It’s not like that, though. Not always. We have to get through the deepest and loneliest valleys of our soul to get to them. We need others in our lives, people that truly care about us. We need to know that we belong, or, if we traverse a metaphorical transcontinental bridge, we will belong.

“Sometimes I think I know what it means to live out here. But if you’re out on the Bridge tonight, imagine the spot you’re in without you in it. Imagine that there’s nothing where you’re standing but ocean. And imagine that’s the way you want it. Can you do that? Reach deep down, into that part of yourself you only seem to feel when you’re alone. The part that wonders if that solitude will last forever. The part that hungers for that. Look where you’re standing right now, and imagine there’s nothing: just you and that feeling. And then imagine someone changes that without asking you. If you’re imagining right, I think you know that there’s no language we could possibly share with the things that live out here. They’re smart, though. They don’t need a language to share. They’ve learned ours.”

That is a great way to pinpoint that progress invades, always and always invades: ideologies, space, lives.

Then we hear Lemaire’s story and we learn about the Mockingbirds. Are they real? Are they just figments of imagination? Who knows? Some ignore them, thinking it’s a lure of the ocean. A way to reclaim a space? To RETURN to what was before the bridge? Or, as Etta claims, they seek CONNECTION. You are alone, in the middle of nowhere, with nobody that wants to/can find you.

Now they have to prepare for the storm and they have to “climb up there and make sure [their] giant flashlight doesn’t break?”. And if they fall, they die. Nice encouragement, Roger Oh Great One.

“There’s a big difference between liking a good ghost story and being fearless.”

And they hear Mockingbirds. It starts as “a creepy laugh track following us around”, then Etta hears her mother, Kate her cousin, Bertie… we don’t know (though my bet is on his fiancée). They mess with what you want to hear. People you love and you cannot find anymore. People you feel dor for. 

The mysterious voices are afraid that our friends won’t recognize their forms. And this is a fundamental state, isn’t it? People change and they don’t seem to recognize their old selves. Roger puts it well in the next episode.

ETTA’S MOTHER:  Will you know who I am…. when we meet again?

KATE’S COUSIN: You won’t be able to save them all. It’s almost here. […] The moment where you’ll have to choose. Who will you allow to live? Who will you fail to save?

Etta wants to talk about the voices. Bertie and Roger leave; Kate speaks a little and leaves too. Poor Etta. I love you. I love you all, clearly nobody stays on this godforsaken bridge for kicks. You all want something, don’t you? CONNECTION.

Episode 3:

Roger is staring at the water. In the middle of a storm. Wonder why it feels familiar? (Flashback to me staying on a balcony in the middle of a thunder storm when I was 8 until my mom yelled at me & pulled me back inside. I also live next to a lake so there was water everywhere.) No idea.

“PEOPLE OPENLY SUPPORTING ELABORATE INITIATIVES, DOOMED OR NOT” .It’s “like if Hannibal Lecter suddenly wanted to save the rainforest”. Figures.

Oooh so Frank told her that she’s not objective and that’s a reason why she hates him? Maybe. But still.. Hmm.

“Every living being has a right to exist. But I imagine you agree with that already, don’t you? It’s not a radical idea. Most people don’t need convincing. There are some, I think, that will never be convinced - but I made up my mind a long time ago not to waste my breath trying. I’m not here for them. I’m here for you […] who’s nodding to what I’m saying, but who isn’t quite sure what you can do about it. Let me ask you something. Is existence enough? […] Even on your most commonplace days, your experiences have depth, texture, don’t they? You don’t just exist on this planet. You live. The inhabitants of this ocean used to have more than existence. They used to have the waves and the silence, the clear water, the open sky. They had their structures, their language, their society. They lived. Before the Bridge. And before us. As human beings, we have the luxury of couching our actions however we like. Expansion. Manifest destiny.“Connection.” Try to imagine, if you can. Close your eyes. I’ll wait. Picture your home and all your favorite things inside it. All the things those walls hear, all those little exchanges with the people who love you. A place filled with your fingerprints and your sounds. Your life. Now imagine that one day, you come home from work and find someone has moved upstairs. And they tell you it’s fine: they wanted that room, and you’ve never used it anyway. But little by little, they start inching into the rest of the house. Tearing down your pictures, staining your walls, breaking those favorite things of yours. Before long, your entire world is polluted by them. Their fingerprints. Their sounds. Their garbage. I can think of a few choice words for what’s been done to this beautiful place. ‘Connection’ isn’t one of them. I’m not here today to paralyze you with guilt, you in the back of the room. This isn’t a lecture. This is a call for aid. A plea to address a desperate situation before there’s nothing left to address. I am standing here today begging you to protect life, no matter what form it takes. Because as human beings, we have the luxury of defending our property. Our existences. Our lives. Well. As they say. Turnabout is fair play.”

In which you can see that I have no sense of measure and I’m in love with this paragraph. This one might be my favorite part of the podcast. Can I marry a piece of writing? I’ll try. But it explains well that humans invaded the surface of the ocean and, along with it, the whole thing.

Bertie wants them to go to Submare 3. Etta wants to bring along Kate so. Y’know. Safety reasons.

Kate searches something. For someone else. She thinks she found it, but she didn’t. Something about protecting those in danger from threats that must be *Dalek voice* Exterminated! Exterminated!

If that doesn’t sound like genocide I don’t know what does. (Now we know that there are factions that want Bob & his kind dead.)

Bob is afraid of storms :( (Bob’s a cutie.) Bertie wants to protect his flowers. Etta wants to be literally anywhere else. They question what Kate was doing in the archives. Bertie never heard of the phrase curiosity killed the cat.

I’m sorry that you’re trying to have an existential crisis in a middle of a storm, Roger. I love you, you grumpy mysterious fella. Who is he talking to? I mean yes, he’s talking to himself, but who is he imagining? We don’t know who was that person. Lover? Family? Friend? The person who played with him that night? All? None? A random mockingbird? A certain mockingbird?

“…where did you go, exactly, when you left? I looked for you, you know. For a long time […] every time I got close you slipped away. […] I couldn’t stop you. […] I’ll tell you where it leaves me — in the middle of the freaking ocean. I’m not even supposed to be here! I found a solid lead, someone who knew where you were… and then I… I lost it. I lost everything. […] Would you even recognize me? Things change over time, but I might’ve changed too much. There are days – most days, actually – where I don’t recognize myself. So how would you? I’m responsible for this watchtower. For everything – everyone – in it. But I can’t hide the truth from the others for much longer. Things have been happening at other watchtowers. Certain assets have gone missing. People have died . And when we get hit – because it’ll happen, I can just feel it – I won’t be able to keep everyone alive. They could die. And… and the ones who live… will they be able to forgive me? For… for choosing them over their friends? You couldn’t. So why should they?”

First of all: God, the angst. Second of all: I am truly afraid Roger is immortal. The bridge opens. The hotels and casinos open. Roger goes to one of them, wins the game, receives immortality as a reward and curse. Years pass. He knows that he can’t leave the bridge because. Well. That minisode explains it well.

“There are lots of rumors about what the winner really gets — or rather, what price they had to pay for it.

Most people are sure of three things:

1) If you play the game and lose, your memories will be erased. Everything you’ve ever experienced - everything that makes you who you are. Gone. Just… gone.

2) If you win, you live forever. But you can’t leave the Bridge.

3) If you win and leave the Bridge, you’ll remain immortal - but all of your memories will be erased.

Everyone who plays knows these rules. And yet, they make the choice to try anyway.”

Of course he could leave the bridge. But would you risk it?

My theory goes like this: Roger is older than he looks/sounds. I can’t brush off the feeling that he’s older than the bridge itself. So maybe this person is dead now. I know he says that he’s been at Watchtower 10 for 5 years, but we don’t know for how long he’s been around the bridge.

Of course that my theory might be completely off, but. Eh.

OOOoh a crash! That’s not nothing!! Etta go!!

Roger jumps to conclusions too fast. This time it’s real.

ETTA: Roger. I’m going to say this as slowly as I can. Look. Out. The. Window. There. Is. An. Accident. People. Need. Our. Help. Did you spend so much time looking out at the water that you forgot about the massive intercontinental highway behind you?

Aaaand we meet Nora and Percy, who supposedly crashed their car after they saw a ghost and now need shelter.

“Angst-ridden misfits” I love you Alex Brown and Rebecca Mahoney.

Kate disappears into the void archives probably. Bertie and Roger check on Bob. Etta tries to give Nora and Percy a tour. They are… umm… shady: “We were brought here for a reason. I guess you could say we have a… connection to this place.” Did I mention they’re shady? “They’ll be expecting us to make contact soon.” “Then we shouldn’t disappoint.”

Episode 4:

I love that they tackle certain concepts that I would have explained otherwise: stories, water. It’s making my job easier here:

“What is a story, exactly? A lesson? An escape? A warning? Perhaps it’s a light that shines through an endless expanse of darkness. A beacon of hope in times of need. Or, it could be exactly what it sounds like: something that’s told purely for entertainment. Meant to run you through a gamut of emotions, to connect with someone else’s experiences. Stories are empathy. A tool to share sadness, fear, joy, envy. A tool of connection. But then again, sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes they’re the most dangerous kind of lie.”

“Stories can be any number of things. […] A tool of connection. And they can be a weapon. A wildfire, a quake that shifts the landscape of the earth. Hope, you see, is a dangerous thing to promise.”

“The sea has power. We’ve always felt that, haven’t we? There’s a reason you see so many stories with water as a conduit. Between worlds, and between lives. Even across death.”

They also tell the story of Payne Manor.

Bertie is a cutie. Give Roger flowers! 

They are playing a game every year. And it consists in making Roger laugh. Omg.

Etta is the folklore lover and the disbeliever in Nora and Percy and this is exactly the way through this.

They’re searching for Bob?? (Bob’s a cutie) And somebody else. (Now we know that’s Etta.)

“THE DOOR OPENS AS ETTA HURRIES IN, SITS NEXT TO THE PIANO.Yes, there’s a piano here. I don’t know why.” I love the script.

“The last Bridge Travel Agent, she— “ Died? Roger you grumpy mysterious cryptic… ugh.

Let’s see how Yvette goes. Music. A full meal. No music. A knock on the door. A woman. A fight. Yvette goes poof.

“Is there something you wanted, Frank? Or did you just call in to revisit my childhood trauma?”

At least he tells her about the “2 new co-hosts”. He was useful for once, I presume.

Minisode 1:

Aqua Land managed to operate without incident for five whole years. I know, I know. I’m just as shocked as you are.

So it closed because of a creature with eyes “filled with blood. Thick liquid pools in thecorners of its eyes before it trickles down the creature’s face. It sobs, holding a hand out toward you. And that’s when you realize something else. That song you heard - the music you adored – it was the creature’s sobs. And it’s about to begin crying again.”

“But what do you when you’re told something so outlandish that it doesn’t seem possible? Or, even better: what do you do when you witness something you know no one else will believe? I’m afraid I don’t have an answer to either of those questions. But it does make me wonder about what’s out there. And what it might cost to discover it.” Etta, you’re asking the right questions. I love you.

Episode 5:

“Tell me… have you ever [had] to fear… for the safety of your home? Have you ever… had [cause to] believe it would be taken from you? [Because] I have. And believe me… [when I say] it’s the purest terror I’ve ever known. You… [don’t have to] agree with me. You can think [to yourself] that these creatures are not like you and me. That they don’t [feel] pain, or sorrow, that they don’t have [loved ones] to protect. You can [walk away] convinced you’re in the right. I [won’t] stop you. Just remember this. Whether through inaction, or indifference, that blood is on your hands. Don’t ever think that no one will notice.”

God that was terrifyingly awesome. So the mysterious voice wants to protect the sea creatures.

Etta was “Testing out the age-old technique of trying to break something instead of fix it”. Which always works with the stuff around my house, including my TV and my smartphone. Anyway.

KATE: (hastily) There has to be a way to turn this off. ROGER: What the hell is that? It sounded like Etta not doing her job. Am I wrong? KATE: (muttering) It wouldn’t be the first time. ROGER: What was that? KATE: It wouldn’t be the first time you were wrong— sir! ROGER: Just…just get that thing fixed.

Roger announced that they have visitors just “in case”. Kate knows there’s something shady about them. Good.

Bertie’s on to something: “There are still fifteen watchtowers in use. How’d you run across so much static?” “Then how do you hear those stories? Any signals we have access to are exclusive to —“

Frank leaked her transmissions. I’d hit him too.

We hear from Yvette again.

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Listen. Here’s the truth of it. Everyone who once owned this house is now gone. The spirits of the unquiet dead were never here. Lights off. No one’s home. But they don’t tell the story of Payne Manor just to pass the time. It’s comfort. It’s stability. It’s wrapping uncertainty in a neat little package for consumption. It means that when you see a flutter at the curtains, or a figure in a doorway, you don’t wonder who it is, do you? You think you already know.

YVETTE:… it is a nice little story, isn’t it.

Roger questions Etta, but she really said nothing about Bob (Bob’s a cutie.)

Oh nno nononono non no onon not her story nno. … Yes. Poor Etta.

Never trust someone named Nora. Trust me on that: “Awww isn’t that just heartbreaking. A little girl, lost, alone, abandoned. And by someone who was supposed to love her.” Nora’s in her broadcasting room .

They have Bertie and Kate. :(

So Frank doesn’t believe Etta’s stories and fact-checks them! But that’s why she hates him? Hmm. Plus Percy’s not exactly smooth.

So they want to free their “big scary monster”, their “majestic creatures locked up all the time”. I hate them.

Minisode 2:

“All we need is your dedication, creativity, loyalty, and time! (menacing aside again) We value success above anything else. Failure is not an option. […] The town of Ocean View, as well as our kind sponsors, will not be held liable for any accidents, injuries, dismemberments, or deaths that occur. […] As always, safety is our top priority, but discretion is a close second. We ask that you refrain from sharing the contents of this message with anyone else.”

An utopia that ends up being a dystopia. Did not see that coming never heard of something like this. What were they thinking when they built the bridge?

The locals have to convince people to move in and must never speak of the happenings around them. Cool.

Episode 6:

Uuuuu unexpected spoilers.

BOLLARD is their contact at Headquarters.

They’re not against killing. Good to know. I mean not good, just… good to know what to expect.

BOLLARD: You’ve taken two people hostage ! And now you’re about to play Home Alone with the rest of their crew.

They request backup. Etta & comp are screwed.

“Life’s not fair, is it? Make it back with both of your assigned assets, and you can consider yourselves forgiven.” Phew. Now they stand a chance.

The best description of the next segment is “THE WIND BLOWS, AS IF TO FURTHER EMPHASIZE THE POINT. FRANK IS ALONE. COMPLETELY ALONE. ON A HAUNTED-ASS BRIDGE.” “Frank, he hasn’t died… yet.”

ROGER: You know exactly what it means. You sent out sensitive information and now they’re here looking for something that, for all intents and purposes, shouldn’t exist! No one outside of this Watchtower should know about the monster! ETTA (You’re kidding, right? No? You’re not kidding?) Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe , this isn’t my fault? What if they’ve been running this same scheme for a while? Have things gone wrong at other watchtowers? Or are we the exception? ROGER (aw, shit — change the subject!) Look, I think we should just— 

Roger you cryptic grumpy little man!!

ETTA: (about as close to imitating Bob’s growl as she could be) NO! No, you don’t get to say anything anymore. You knew something was going wrong everywhere else and you didn’t tell us? We could’ve stopped this before it started!

Drag him Etta.

Oooooooh Bertie yeah! “Nah. I’m pretty sure the only joke here is you.”

BERTIE: How can someone be so confident and so… KATE: Oblivious? The confident ones usually are. His friend, though — Nora, if that’s her real name — she’s the one we need to watch out for.

Frank, who put you to hunt? “The target has made contact with me. There were a lot of claws. More than I expected. I might be bleeding.”

Macbeth? I saw a post around. You’re doomed. And boots and dummies appear randomly? You really are doomed, aren’t ya?

Kate has her priorities straight:

BERTIE: (uncertain) That doesn’t involve us killing him — right? KATE: Nah. Too much paperwork. ETTA: Not to mention the whole murder thing is bad. KATE: I mean yeah, there’s that.

They split up and keep Etta and Bob separated.

Frank. I’m not telling you to run. But I’m telling you to run.

“Persnickety Pete . He might look like one of those normal, boring ventriloquist dummies, but you’ll find that he’s quite different. In a good way! From taxes to taxidermy, Persnickety Pete always has an opinion on the things that matter most to you. Be careful how you react to his answers, though! He isn’t called Persnickety Pete for nothing! (darkly) Remember: Be kind to Pete, and he’ll be kind to you! Be rude to him and… there’s nothing we can do.”

Creepy pianos again. Is this by any chance near Payne Manor?

ETTA: And work on your delivery. My listeners expect a certain quality— God Etta he’s sending a distress call!!

Bertie calls in for help, Frank fumbles for the radio and then… nothing.

When you’re ready to die, you think of loved ones, right?

“The people who built [the Transcontinental Botanical Gardens] didn’t want living organisms with needs, they just wanted something that would look pretty and make them money. And they succeeded in one respect, at least. The Gardens were beautiful. But looking beautiful doesn’t keep you safe in this world. The Gardens fell into slow, agonizing disrepair. The last straw was when the structure’s severe weather protections failed, killing three visitors during a sudden storm. That was more than enough for the Travel Agency. They locked down the building. They closed the access road. And all of the plants died.”

BERTIE sounds more than a little perturbed at the idea. But at least for a second, he’s thinking about the death of the Botanical Gardens, rather than considering his own potential and imminent death.”

Bertie’s a cutie.

“There was one person willing to slip under the fence and walk the battered access road to what remained of the Gardens. He had been a frequent visitor, once. He had even traveled there with his fiancée to celebrate their engagement. It was the last trip they would ever take. She was ripped into the sea on the Gardens’ last day of operation. But despite the bad memories that remained in the ruin, this man never forgot all the love he once had for the place. He rarely visited his fiancée’s empty grave on the mainland. But he traveled once a year to the Gardens, with a small bouquet of primrose. The man and his lost love used to write letters to one another using only flowers. She would know that primrose meant “eternal love.”

God no I’m not crying.

“Which is why when the man saw a single lotus flower pushing out of the soil, none of the logical explanations for its presence crossed his mind. All he could think was that lotuses are often a symbol of ‘rebirth.’ […] Anyway… the man started what he considered to be a ‘correspondence’ with his lost fiancée. Because every time he came back to the Gardens, he found more and more life, almost hidden in the ruins, pushing up from the ground. And to him, it always meant something. Wormwood for absence and sorrow. Heliotrope for devotion. A snowdrop for hope. This was his favorite. He felt more hope than he had in years. And this was around the time his friends and family became concerned about him. He was spending more and more time on The Bridge, and he was holding even tighter to the memory of his fiancée, just when it looked like he’d begun to let her go. Even when he told them the whole story, it only made them more concerned. I mean, no offense, but these were people who wouldn’t have been able to tell a willow from a cypress. They didn’t understand how flowers could translate into declarations of love after death. This went on for months. Eventually, the hope the flowers once gave him wasn’t enough. And one night, as he looked for her message in the Gardens, he called out to her. “I can’t take this anymore,” he said. “I want to see you. How can I see you?” And when he looked around, he saw a little flower, barely visible, under a fallen tree trunk. An ox-eye daisy. A flower neither of them had used in their messages before, but he knew it all the same. ‘Patience.’ He lifted the trunk. And he found dozens of them. Rows upon rows of ox-eye daisies. Patience. Patience. Patience. His life back on the mainland was crumbling. His loved ones were pressuring him to give up on the Gardens. So he decided what he thought ‘patience’ meant – what he wanted it to mean. So he sat down beside the flowers. And he waited. He wasn’t very far from his truck, or from civilization. It was just a twenty minute walk back to the main road. But when you wait for that long in the cold, without a drop of drinkable water, eventually waiting is no longer a choice. It’s simply all you can do. And the last thing you’ll do. When Etta told me this story, she said that was the plan all along – that the fiancée lured the man to his death so that they could be together. But ‘patience’ could have meant anything, right? It could have meant that she wanted him to go back home and live out the rest of his life, and that one day they’d see each other again. Even with the people we know best, sometimes we don’t understand them as well as we think we do. Sometimes we talk at cross-purposes, and open doors we don’t mean to. Not everything has to be malicious, right? Sometimes it’s just a misunderstanding that got someone else hurt.”

… why do I have the feeling that this is not just a story of Etta? Why do I have the feeling that this is what happened here, with you, Bertie? And I’m totally not crying.

Minisode 3:

I kinda discussed it already in ep 3. But like the dude in minisode 1, Roger is “somewhere he isn’t supposed to be”.

Minisode 4:

Bertie like rom-coms! “They promise laughs, happily-ever-afters, and wuv… twue wuv.” And my deskmate had a rant about Rachel getting off the plane too.

They tried to film Over Troubled Water at some point, a movie “about a couple that meets on an epic life-changing tour over the Transatlantic Bridge. Trouble was, when the trip ended, they lived on opposite ends of it.”

They had a laugh track. And actors in places they shouldn’t be. Like. Ya know. The fricking sea.

One day, (day 10, Watchtower 10 hmmm) “they found a metallic-painted Styrofoam statue of [the lead actress] beneath the lights and cameras. You see, if he—if all of them had been paying attention, he might have noticed the metallic sheen of the ‘paint’ perfectly matched the shade of the bridge’s beams. It wasn’t Styrofoam. A tribute, then from the Bridge itself?” Who loved her so much it couldn’t let her go…

 Bertie put her statue. With his. Roses. I cAN’T.

 Episode 7:

 “Warning: someone gets stabbed. A lot.” This doesn’t start well.

PERCY: Such a sharp rebuke from someone who disdains her own responsibilities so much that she completely abandoned them. How’re those traffic reports going? Oh, wait. ETTA: That’s completely different. PERCY: Is it? I guess abandonment runs in the family. ETTA: (you son of a—)If you’d rather not be chloroformed again, I’d suggest you shut the hell up. PERCY: Defensive. Nice. ETTA: Only when liars like you pretend to be my therapist.

Don’t get fooled and drag him, Etta.

PERCY: Well, contrary to popular belief, I’m actually quite good at my job. I know where you mother is. And I also know that she isn’t coming to find you. She doesn’t want to.

Don’t listen. Chloroform him.

ETTA: She wouldn’t just leave me out here. PERCY: But she did. Don’t you think it’s a little… odd that she hasn’t found you already? It’s been fifteen years, after all. Surely she had time to look for something that was so precious to her. ETTA: All right, Freud. Thanks for the psychoanalysis.

I’m on team “let’s not read instructions and use as much chloroform as possible”.

PERCY: While everyone in that hotel disappeared! They were trying do good work —to release a magnificent being back into the sea— when they were taken. […] My colleagues were at the Transcontinental Hotel that night to serve a higher purpose. They were connected to something that was bigger than any one individual. ETTA: (slowly, as if finding the missing pieces of a puzzle) Colleagues? All the rich people…? PERCY: They weren’t all wealthy. But every rumor has a ring of truth to it. Some of the people who disappeared were part of our upper echelon.

So they weren’t guests. They were cult followers!

PERCY: Nora’s going to get me out of here soon enough. Pray that you’re not here when shows up. ETTA: I’ve never been the praying sort. PERCY: Well, perhaps you should start. You might not need it, but your friends certainly will. ETTA: They can defend themselves. PERCY: All of them? Even your harmless, rom com-loving gardener? ETTA: I— PERCY: (#winning) Or what about that fellow who keeps uploading your broadcasts? Do you think he’ll be fine? What was his name again? Fred? Yeah, something like that. He’s all alone, too. Poor little guy. […] Alone. On the bridge. He left a message for you. Said he wasn’t going to come back. Looks like someone else abandoned you. I’m sensing a trend. […] (#alltheevil) How lonely it must be, watching every day as everyone drifts away from you. ETTA: Stop it. PERCY: And with each person who leaves, you wonder what you did. What could be so wrong with you that you drive everyone away? Maybe it’s because— ETTA SLAPS HIM. AN AWKWARD SILENCE SITS AROUND THEM AS A DIABOLICAL SMILE SETTLES ON PERCY’S FACE.

Is it wrong that I already prepared a tennis racket to hit him with?

PERCY: Oh, we got the drop on you, didn’t we? And altered your external communications system without anyone noticing. We’re not alone. Our people can call in to this watchtower whenever they want. (an irritated aside) And they do. ETTA: You’re lying. PERCY: Maybe. Maybe not. Why don’t you try calling your friends again? See if anyone’s listening.

Spoiler: they aren’t.

Roger wants to avoid going to Submare 3 so they don’t disclose Bob’s (Bob’s a cutie.) location.

They talk about the things they should know about.

KATE: Stories about people. Things that’ve happened along the road. Watchtowers suddenly going radio-silent one month and staffed with brand new people the next. I’m sure you’ve been briefed. They say there are people who believe we don’t belong here. People who want this place… undone. People who think we’ve interfered with things we were never meant to know.

Roger demands why she didn’t tell him. What? “That there’s some vague and terrible something out there doing vague and terrible things?”

Roger wants to open Submare 3 so Kate just. Hits him in the gut. And leaves him there.

“If you are unfortunate enough to catch your reflection watching you, we ask that you do not acknowledge it. Whatever lies behind that glass isn’t you. It never was.”

God how are there messages supposed to help??

Bollard calls in and threatens Bertie. I’ll commit murder if they do something… bad..er… to him.

Bertie’s parents are dead. He was engaged. I knew the story wasn’t just a story!! He breaks the console and stops all communications. “Great.”

Kate wants to find intelligence on the evil duo and she doesn’t know how they’ll kill Bob. Who’s scared. My heart.

Bertie appears and they stick together.

PERCY: What’s the matter? Afraid I’m right? That no matter how hard you try, everyone around you will just leave without any explanation?

Can’t we just chloroform him?

Nora has Roger no

ROGER: Etta, listen to me. I’m your supervisor. Your job is not to protect me. ETTA:Roger, unless you’ve got some secret body armor , this isn’t a discussion!

Umm I think I have news on this one, Etta. 

Nora stabbed Roger. Ouch. Ouch. Au. Au nu nu nun uununun.

“BOOM. KATE is here to save the day, BERTIE in tow. She trains her gun on PERCY and NORA. While there is no badass entrance music playing for her, there is badass entrance music in spirit.” Uuuuuu you go Kate!

NORA: Maybe she doesn’t want to come with you, hm? Shall I tell her how you went running down to the archives when your little friends needed you? KATE: I thought I told you to stop talking. PERCY: (mocking) She has her priorities, Etta. I’m afraid they don’t include any of you. KATE: (slightly losing her cool) That isn’t true.

Well, Kate’s a bit shady too, bUT SHE DOESN’T GO AROUND STABBING PEOPLE.

Nora has a point for once: “This place never should have been built.”

PERCY: You see, Etta? These people don’t deserve your loyalty. Think of that poor creature you have trapped in Submare 3. You care about him, don’t you? You gave him a name. He trusts you. Surely you don’t think he belongs here. ETTA: N… No, but— KATE: Etta, look at me. He’s safer here. You know that. NORA: (with a laugh) As human beings, we have the luxury of couching our actions however we like. Expansion. Manifest destiny. … Connection.

POSEIDON= People openly supporting elaborate initiatives, doomed or not. Wow.

“Roger’s a living being, too, and you had no problem stabbing him.” Love you Bertie.

PERCY AND NORA LEAP INTO THE OCEAN BELOW. So dramatic. May you never resurface again. I know I’m mean, but they kinda deserve it.

BERTIE : Hey, Etta? Would you mind… telling me a story before I go to sleep. ETTA: … you’re really in the mood for something creepy right now? BERTIE: No. But I don’t know if I want to be alone yet, either. ETTA: (the embodiment of awwwwww) I— of course I will. I’d love to. BERTIE: Thanks.

CONNECTION. And awwwwwwwwwww I love them.

Etta’s ”not convinced Kate’s as collected as she seems”. Yesss.

ROGER: You don’t have to lie to them, you know. KATE: You’re one to talk. ROGER: I made a mistake. I should’ve told you about what was happening. […] KATE: If you knew what was coming, why didn’t you bother to share it with the class? I was under strict orders not to say anything — and I’ll be damned if I get kicked off of this bridge for gossiping — but you… Headquarters expected you to distribute that information. And you couldn’t. You didn’t. Why? […] Let me know when you have an answer.

Well. She has a point.

Episode 8:

“You’ll be able to see just how beautiful the Atlantic Ocean can be when you’re driving along at two o’clock in the morning and it’s just you, the water, a few persistent slices of moonlight, and the terrible, soul-crushing realization that something else is with you. (darkly) Something that shouldn’t be there. (cheery) So please pardon our mess as we complete the Transcontinental Bridge!”

 Again. Why?? How is this helping in any way??

 Kraken to Siren. Hmmm. May I guess that Siren’s real name starts with a “S”?  If Kate is her real name. I never thought of that. F**k.

 Nora and Percy weren’t their target. Bob’s Specimen no. 10.

 Oh ow. So Kate’s a double agent. Siren’s not headquarters. Double f**k. But she cares about the crew so that’s good. Right?

“I used to tell my little cousin bedtime stories, and she hated them, every time. She’d always remind me that not every story has to be about sacrifice, or duty over reason. Once in a while, they should have happy endings.”

My heart.

“Because even before the bridge, the people of this town believed that there was something in the water that meant them harm. Something that they considered it their duty to contain. […] So another name came up to fill the belly of the beast: a young girl’s. She was seventeen, but she was among the most faithful – she had dedicated her short life to protecting the shore, and before that day, she would have said she believed in the cause with every bone. But when she learned her fight would soon end… she suddenly wasn’t so sure.”

Figures.

“She went to her best friend – a skeptic who had never quite embraced the idea that they were at war. They had been friends all their life, though lately, there always an undercurrent of tension when they spoke. Neither of them believed that the other ever listened to them. She agreed to help immediately, and together, the believer and the skeptic hatched a plan. […] And she felt a rush of fear and sorrow for every person who had walked this path before, all those moments she celebrated because she thought it was for the best. But she felt none of that fear and sorrow for herself, because she knew there was one person left in this world who was on her side. And that person was waiting, hidden, at the end of this road, waiting to pull her down a hidden path to the beach. And they would leave this town, and their duty. And everything would be different. And the skeptic was waiting for her by the cliffs, as promised. But something was wrong. She wasn’t hiding. The believer was allowed one short, painless moment of confusion before she was pushed into the water below. The skeptic did listen to her sometimes, after all.”

Wow. That was cold. Painless, but cold.

“There are people, they say, who believe we don’t belong here. People who want this place undone. People who think the day we built this bridge we invited abominations into our lives. And people say it all started in that little seaside town. I’m not sure if the skeptic is still among them. I’m sure if she is, she fits right in.”

But was Kate the skeptic and her cousin the believer? How did she die?? Was that word for word what happened? Or is it some sort of allegory? Or it has nothing to do with them? But I still think it’s somehow related to what happened to her and her cousin…

 So Etta is “talking” (or …actually talking?) to Bob. “But how can he think this is my fault?” Ooooh she’s mad and hiding from them. Well. Can’t blame her.

“And now Roger’s been stabbed, Kate got chloroformed, Bertie actually wanted to fight someone, we haven’t been able to find Percy and Nora’s bodies, so who knows what the hell that means, and I— […] Well. My secret is out, isn’t it? They all know who I was. Am, I guess. Who I am. They know why I’m here. ‘Scared little girl.’ Lost, alone, abandoned. I think that’s what Percy and Nora said about me. (bitter) And they were right. About all of it. It’s been fifteen years, and I haven’t heard anything. My mom  probably doesn’t want to find me. Why would she? It’s not like I’ve done anything with my life. I just sit here, making sure the Bridge’s precious monster doesn’t get loose. Sorry. You know I didn’t mean it like that. Bob… Is that what you really want? To get out of this place? You don’t know, huh? It wasn’t supposed to be a head-scratcher. [..] I don’t know, either. I thought I’d be here until I found her, but now…

Maybe she should just stay lost.”

Yes, Etta, have a self deprecating ramble, relate to Bob (Bob’s a cutie), become more and more relatable and break my damn heart. Sure. Why not.

ROGER: I’m prioritizing. She’s got more important things to do right now than report potholes to the void. Roger is clearly not ok.

Roger admits that he’s here because he lost a bet, but using the plot of Titanic is not going to fool Bertie.

ROGER: There is very little that a concrete wall won’t fix. (plus the blooper at the end is A++)

Bertie calls Etta to tell her “I think Roger and Kate just made up!”

BERTIE: Obviously something’s wrong. You’re pouting. ETTA: You can’t even see me. I’m not pouting. BERTIE: Well, your voice is pouting.

O M G this is it. My favorite joke from anything ever. Omg.

“Great. I really messed that one up, didn’t I? Henrietta Perrault, Professional Friendship Ruiner. Don’t worry, folks. I’ll be here all week—“ Nooo I know how that feels so noooo

Kate has a miniature surrender flag that he uses on Roger I can’t.

KATE: You don’t have to explain anything you don’t want to. ETTA: (the beginning of the emotion-flood) But that’s just it! I owe you all something ! I… I didn’t want to admit it, but Roger’s right. I brought them here. I did this . I told them where to find us, I let them in, and they… they… SHE STOPS. WHATEVER EMOTIONS SHE’S BEEN HIDING BEHIND THAT WALL BREAK IT DOWN, OVERWHELMING HER. KATE: They’re gone now, Etta. ETTA: (fragile; slightly fearful) They could come back. […] I need them to come back. I have to talk to them. KATE: Why in the hell— ETTA: They… said things. When I was guarding him, Percy… he told me he knew where my mother was. KATE: Etta— ETTA: And that she doesn’t want to find me. KATE: You shouldn’t believe anything he said. ETTA: But what if he’s right? Maybe she wanted to get rid of me. KATE: I don’t think so. ETTA: Why? KATE: Just trust me on this one. ETTA LAUGHS. The sound is low and bitter. That’s your answer for a lot of things, lately. BOB GROWLS. ETTA: What were you doing in the archives? KATE: (taken aback) What? ETTA: I keep replaying it in my mind. How we gave them a place to stay. How they separated us. The threats; the blood. When you came to help us. Everything that happened after. And I can remember everything they did — almost like they could be standing right here. Nora said you’d been in the archives. That you ran off. Had your own priorities. KATE: I told you not to listen to what they said. ETTA: She was right, wasn’t she? Everything was falling apart, and you went to the archives. KATE: I was following a lead. It didn’t pan out. It’s… it’s complicated. ETTA: Try me. KATE: (waving that mini surrender flag) Hmm. All right. So, POSEIDON is all about trying to free the whales, right? BOB GROWLS. KATE: (whoops; don’t insult the monster) Sorry, Bob. I didn’t mean it like that. Well, the group I’m researching is a little… different. They don’t want to save the whales. ETTA: So… they… KATE: If they find Bob, they’ll kill him. ETTA: (incredulous) They can’t just… kill Bob! It’s impossible— BOB GROWLS. KATE: Right. Just like keeping Bob locked up in our watchtower was supposed to be impossible. If we found a way to contain him, they’ve definitely found a way to kill him. ETTA: How do we stop them? KATE: I’m still working on that one. ETTA: Well, I’m going to help you. We all are. […] Everyone needs help sometimes. Even badass travel agents like you. KATE: I’m not that badass. ETTA: Awww, come on! You should’ve seen the way you stormed in there, dramatic music crescendoing in the background as you saved the day. KATE: There wasn’t any dramatic music. ETTA: I know, I know. But it was there in spirit! BOB GROWLS, bringing them back to reality. KATE: We should probably head back up. Roger wanted to talk to all of us. […] TRANSITION OUT, SUCKAS

Polaris, huh? People openly….?

ROGER: Okay, so we’ve got two different… what the hell are they? Cults? We’re gonna call ‘em cults. KATE: …okay. Cults. Right. I think we’re missing the point a little. Both of them want Bob. ETTA: And neither of them are going to get him.

Yessss.

ETTA: Look, we’ve had a trying last few days, so if you’re part of some creepy secret society, we don’t want anything you’re selling. ROGER: Seriously? ETTA: (harsh whisper) Like you’re contributing anything to this conversation— FRANK: (slightly pained. Like the physical kind) Oh… come on. Is this any way to treat a friend of the show? ETTA: (wondering how terrible she must’ve been in a past life to deserve this) Frank?

That didn’t went well…

END OF EPISODE, BEGINNING OF HIATUS, IF YOU NEED ALEX BROWN SHE’LL BE ASLEEP FOR TEN YEARS.

I love you.

Minisode 5:

Etta likes to fold stuff, right? Towels, the paper swan she made from her job description.

And the questions someone usually has when they look up at the sky - is there something else out there? Someone else? Never really bothered her. She figured that if there were other… beings out there, they couldn’t be terrible. They came from a beautiful thing, after all. And beautiful things, by some unnamed law of the universe, had no right being terrible.

Aw sweetie, but beautiful things are terrible.  

It was the happiest she’d ever been - and, maybe, the happiest she’d ever be.

Noooo don’t say that…

Because she had it wrong, all along. Beautiful things could also be terrible.

Oh no I don’t like where this is going I mean I like that we find out more stuff but at the same time no n o no

She’d tell them about the things that hid under their beds - and the things that lingered around them. Creatures passed down from generation to generation; monsters that weren’t real. Well, not in the beginning, anyway. But these things had a way of latching on to insecurities. To hatred. Mistrust. Fear. And before anyone knew better, these monsters were just as real as they were. They crafted them throughout the years, putting as much care into their creations as the little girl did when she tried to make a paper swan.

God. Is this going where I think it’s going? Yes. No. no no non onon

Everything made sense when she was asleep.

Ok. I just took a 5 minutes break. Here we go again.

Her aunt didn’t notice. She was always away, desperate to prove that she was right. Not that her aunt would’ve been much help. The little girl didn’t know it at the time, but her aunt… her aunt was just as lost as she was. They’d both fallen into their own bottomless pits, plunging toward ground that would never appear. No matter how hard she tried, the little girl couldn’t stop falling.

*queue me making a strained noise bc wow*

She’d close her eyes, fighting back tears as she wondered why she was so broken. Pleading for something to fix her. Wishing for something, anything , to change. But nothing happened. And those monsters she told her classmates about - the ones that thrived off of fear and hatred - they found her. They told her something, and then they left. They went back into the world, to prey on others, and the little girl couldn’t do anything to stop them. She sat in her room, staring out the window. Clouds covered the moon as their words bounced around in her mind. You are worthless. And terrible. You aren’t loved, and never will be. For a long time, she believed they were right. Sometimes, she still thinks they’re right.

 Oh my God. Poor Etta. I…

 “But then the secrets she’s hidden come rushing through the air. Diving toward her, as if she’d just tossed food out to ravenous birds. And again, she realizes that she was wrong. Because the terrible things had been with her this whole time. And they’ll no longer stay silent. The weight of that thought crushes her, draining out the small bit of hope she’d clung onto for all those years. She was only one person. And the things she wanted to fight - Mistrust. Hatred. Fear. They’re too much for her to handle alone. […] She doesn’t have to be alone. It took her a long time to understand what that meant. There will always be terrible things. But there are people who would stand with her. Who would fight by her side. And she, in turn, would fight for them. With every bit of her being, she’d never stop fighting. Because everyone should feel safe. And loved for who they are. That world existed only in her imagination. But she was going to change that.”

I have depression. I never… I… I needed to hear this. Thank you for this podcast, and especially for creating Etta. This minisode speaks volumes to me. I need a hot chocolate now.

Minisode 6:

Frank wants the Kraken. Well, it’s always about people named Steve in podcasts, amirite?

“ But, of course, she told it wrong. Details were omitted, key figures were left out, and her overall tone was just too — chipper. I tried to tell her she was getting everything wrong, but she just wouldn’t listen.” But why would Etta hate him that much?? She doesn’t even hate Roger for telling her to do her job. Why does she hate you?

[3 minutes later]

Wait. What do they hunt exactly in the hunt club??? Oh no. They hunt sea creatures how did I not see this before mark the day January 4th 2017 I had a late epiphany. Now well no shit she hates you. Now it all makes sense!!

Sooo now we know there’s a creature, a single creature, made from an infinity of single parts. Is he… talking about the mockingbirds?

Dun dun dun. Ok. See you again when the season’s over.

[elem-entals]

undercover irid, crown prince  seb, elems academy marco, librarian knowledge nads au

Brent and I had some really good ideas in this whole rp Pt. 1

Undercover irid but seb is also there undercover

Maybe irid is from some far off kingdom secretly

And helps/recruited the elems

And surprise she’s actually an agent from the Eastern Kingdom

And the lovable seemingly dumbass refugee who’s been putting his blacksmithing skills to use since the academy changed hands to dm

He looks at irid; and tells her to cut the act, the mission has been accomplished

Irid:

Irid; >:| dammit, sire

Irid: there’s still more to acc- Seb holds up a hand: it’s high time we stop the charade and make things clear

Seb: we all know how cozy you’ve gotten here, Fire elemental Iridona c; Irid: >:| 😳 your Majesty

Marco: what

Irid: Seb: Crown Prince Sebastian Warbourne at your service c;

Irid as one of the palace guards and a close friend of the prince

Irid muttering: >:| we had more to get done

Marco, later: sam what the fuck

Marco: she’s some sort of highly trained palace guard warrior chick

Marco: no wonder she picked up on training so fast, common girl with secret powers my butt

Seb, walking around a corner: that was her original origin

Seb: she really was a commoner who learned to fight rather quickly

Seb: and I’d watch how you talk about her, especially in front of me c;

Sam: 😗🍷

Sam: just your type marco

Seb: 👀

Seb: she hasnt dated much, but you are quite her type as well, Marco.

Sam: great, I love watching marco get his ass kicked

Seb: I do, as well 🍹

Marco: >:|

Sam: we ain't friends, guy

Marco: you get all fluttery whenever she’s near and you practically glow whenever she’s paying attention to you

Marco: me thinks she’s more than a bodyguard to you

Seb: Seb; 🍹

Seb: my interests are her happiness

Seb, picking lint off of his shirt: she is more than capable of being a mere palace guard

Sam: like a wife

Seb: if I can help her be more, find more of what could make her happy, live up to her potential, I will do nothing to stand in the way

Seb knocks back his drink

All of it

At once

Sam: impressive

Seb: no

Seb: its really not

Sam: I did like 3 at once one time during breeding season a few years back 😗

Seb:

Marco:

Marco: what

Sam: it was hard to position all three

Sam: without spilling it

Marco: OH drinks

Sam: I was already hammered so I dont think I would have noticed anyway

Sam: oh

Sam: yeah drinks

Marco: ...

Sam: and then maybe some very impressed ewes 😗🍷

Marco: what

Sam: anyway your kinglyness finish your ominous speech

Seb: 👀🍹no that was it

Sam: oh okay cool

Marco: will your guard terrier approve of another drink or does she need to test it

Sam: [takes a sip]

Seb: Seb punches Marco’s arm

Sam as a former party boy for this au I guess

Seb: maybe if its poisoned you should try it first 😒

Sam: oh damn I'll do it, I'd love to die

Seb:

Marco: 😕

Seb: yikes

Sam: jokes

Sam at some point to marco: y'know there's probably a few Samir jr.'s out there somewhere 🤔

Marco: wow

Sam: I know, weird to think about

Sam: I dont know if you wolves feel the same way but sometimes during breeding season some people just let loose

Sam: a lot of hatchlings are raised communally

Sam: dont know who their parents are, 's not really a big deal to us

Sam: sorry, there was just a hatchling that ran past a few hours ago and I got to thinking about it

Starling lore for this au

And maybe in general idk

This is a single dad Sam au now I guess

Marco: what if

Marco: what if you met a kid that was yours?

Is this assuming he doesnt have nadir with him yet?

Sam: I Sam: I don't know

Sam, elbowing him: maybe this upcoming season eh?

Whichever you think is more fun for this point im the au

Sam having a tryst with a starling from the eastern kingdom and he keeps the egg for himself

Lol she drops it on his desk

she's a badass warrior (maybe another palace guard?) And doesnt have the time/safe place to raise it

a starling version of iris

And is like "this is yours to do as you please"

"Wuh"

“Have fun byeee”

Warrior starling with a dry personality and a love of violence

Yes exactly

"This is soft cushy work, perfect for you"

"Uh"

Marco:

Marco: so you have a kid now?

Marco: mazel

Sam: one that I know about, yeah

Sam, with the egg: I could Sam: bring it to a hatchery

Marco: ...

Sam: this is the first time I've been face to shell with a product of a tryst

Sam: oh dont look at me like that, it's a normal starling cultural thing

Sam: it's not like your orphanages

Marco: yeah i know but

Marco: 👀 you were saying you could use a bit of something stable

Marco: company

Sam: 🌕🖊️ Sam: look [shows him the egg]

The egg has a face scrawled on it

Marco: you have a support system here too

Sam, egg voice: hi marco, it's me, Samir Jr.

Concept: Iris as a visiting consultant as a favor to Dm as he’s trying to set up the new Academy

Sam: 🤔 I am getting a bit long in the tooth

Iris: Samir, for the last time, I need those reports on-

Iris: 👀|

Iris: that’s an egg

Sam: it is

~

Someone asks Iris if she’s dating dm

Sam: very astute observation, I can see why you get paid the big bucks

“Not my type”

Dm: she likes twinks but like straight

Iris: >👀|

Sam: so like all starlings

Dm: mhm

Iris: >👀C

Sam: I know a buddy who's single

Sam: not afraid to mingle with those of the flesh

~

Iris: you’re about to see my foot up your ass

Marco: this is why I liked having you around

Sam: [cups his hands around his eyes]

Marco: Sam, seriously, it could be nice

Marco: having a little one around

Sam: hmm Sam: I'll give it a week to decide

Iris: ugh you and your father are so domestic

Sam: he's getting old iris

Sam: he wants to settle down

Sam: maybe with someone from out of town 👀

Sam: isnt that right eggbert Sam, egg voice: sure is

Iris: your dad met your mother and like a month later “oh she’s so wonderful, I could see us settling down in some house in the Valley or something”

Iris: [fake gags]

Sam: [sighs] I want that

Sam: marco is your dad into single dads

Sam: this could be your step sibling

Marco: dont even joke

Iris, in a bad dm impression; Samir, you’re claws are looking very pointy today

Iris: may I escort you to the Fall Ball in August?

*your

Sam: why thank you Marco, you're so kind~

Sam, bats his lashes: what a gentleman

Iris, pretending to be faint: Oh, Iris, he’s so lovely, we’ll have a June wedding

Iris: I’m assuming you’re the same way in love, Marc-y

Sam: I need a nice, strong man to help me raise my hatchling

Marco: >:| I hate having you around

Marco: No you dont

Marco: you are strong

Sam: not as strong as this little dude's ma

Sam: she could have bench pressed me

Iris: ooh👀

Sam: I think I pulled something when we were together

Iris: oooooh👀c

Iris: gimme the hot goss

^monotone lucretia voice

Sam, scooting closer: so she drops this on my desk, right?

Iris: ‼️

Sam: "here, you live a cushy, domestic life. Take this"

Sam: what am I supposed to do with this? I ask Sam: she snorts, patronizingly I might add Sam: "use your fancy academy education and figure it out"

Sam: >:T she must think I'm some kind of coddled highborn

Iris: she sounds cool

Marco: you would think that

Sam: she was that big tall starling his fancy pants-ness brought with him

Sam: look at me forging alliances

Sam: you're all welcome

Sam: you're next marco

Iris: oh, you mean

Eh?

Iris: Shabina?

Sam: is that her name? Huh 🤔

Iris: you didnt even know her name? 👀c

Sam: she doesnt know mine so I think we're square

Sam: she called me desk jockey at one point

Iris: oooh, she mentioned you

Sam: oh?

Iris: “the desk jockey had these soft hands, and knew how to use them”

Marco: uGH

Sam, leaning back: ha, totally me

Marco: what do you mean I’m next?

I like this iris dynamic with sam and marco tbh

Sam: maybe I can teach you sometime Marco, y'know, to get a leg up in his royal ominous-ness

Yeah same

Marco: what the fuck is that sentence

Iris: language, pup

Sam: I mean we're going to help you seduce iridona

Sam: get you a palace guard

Marco: what

Iris: now that you’ve got an egg you’re wanting to play matchmaker?

Sam: yes

Sam: I'm feeling domestic

Marco: oh please after you got Celi in your clutches you wouldnt leave me and Dad and Marse alone about “finding someone”

Sam: you're welcome btw, told you I'd find you a twink

Iris: my private life is not up for speculation

Iris: how did you find him for me?

Sam: oh you think you found him on accident?

Iris: I like to find my own beaus thank you very much

Sam: [snickers] okay

Iris: [narrows her eyes]

Marco: nice

Marco: maybe Sam can get you ankid too

Iris slaps his arm

Sam: yeah, maybe Sam: my cup runneth over with them, apparently

Sam: I'll keep doing a whirlwind tour of the willing starling ewes that could break me in half in the eastern kingdom and make everyone an egg

Sam: [sighs] Sam: I'm gonna go to the library to get some books on parenting I guess

Sam: who wants to come with?

Iris, winding her arm thru sam’s: there’s a section on combat training that could be useful for a growing young starling

Sam: just because my hatchling's mom was a meathead doesn't mean they have to be

Iris: oh no no

Iris: not a meathead per say. but a cool and collected young ewe or ram with the ability to defend themselves from enemies

Marco: should you decide to keep the hatchling, you’ll have so many people to help with the kid, they wont even need it

Iris: but they should know

Iris: maybe young master DeSantos can learn some seduction techniques

Marco: >:|

Sam: yeah I've got plenty of that

Marco; Irid has enough on her plate

Sam: what, some kid playing king?

Sam: if the other palace guard has enough time to waste with me I'm sure irid can stomach a date or two with you

Sam: c'mon, let's go to the library

Marco: maybe he was just looking to make friends

Sam: mostly because I don't remember how to get there :<

He was but also sam’s right

Iris: pfft

Iris tugs on his arm

Iris moved over to the capital after losing her first husband. She lost him awhile back when she was just friends with dm

Later when she struggles marco and dm and sam help comfort her

Iris and sam and marco at the fantasy baby store

Trying to figure out what to get a soon to be hatchling

this is a knowledge nads au also

Ooooooo

to prepare you for this variant

is Nads a librarian

nads is a librarian

Bookmage

Book battle mage

We gotta figure out how to incorporate some of this into one of our long standing au’s

Nads: Hi, welcome to Talondrop Library :DDD

Iris: 👀|c hello, young miss

Sam, muttering: it's way too early in the morning for this kind of pep

Iris quietly: I like her, hush

Marco nods

Iris: might we be directed to the section on baby care?

Nads: how can I help you all? c: Nads: unless you're part of that group that's been stealing books in which case I won't hesitate to use force >:c [pulls out an envelope opener]

Iris: 👀|c like a real life Bilbo

Nads who is probably as tall or taller than Iris

Nads: oh, sure! :DDD [she still doesn't put away the opener]

Nads: right this way

Nads: what kind of baby is it? I've organized the whole section by species

Iris: impressive

Iris: a hatchling, eventually

Nads: ✨✨✨

Nads: I see! Nads: that explains why you walked in with an egg 🤔

Nads: I didn't want to assume

Nads: what in particular are you looking for? feeding? education? c: Sam: uh...everything? Nads: first time parent? I got you c;

Nads grabs one of those book carts

Nads: I'll be back in just a second with a selection!

Sam: This vibe is weird

Sam: this is making it all so...realy

Sm@l iris befriending sam after she and celi visit to have their case looked at

Iris and sam gossiping

Iris: true, but we’re at the intel gathering stage

Iris: if you’re gonna decide, you should do it well as informed as possible

Sam: intel gath- Sam: iris I'm getting baby books, I'm not on a mission

Sam: marco, you've been awfully quiet

Marco: ... just taking it in

Marco: dont want to add more noise

Sam: more than our new "friend"? I'm sure you're fine

Sam: it is awfully quiet in here though

Sam: like more than a library usually is

Nads, with a pyramid of books: I'm back, hi c:

Sam: jeez, this is uh Nads: just a small selection, I know

Sam: wasn't what I was thinking tbh

Nads: I've got a small sampling of everything you'd ever want to know

Nads: feeding, bathing, teaching; the works

Sam, looking over a book: uuuuh

Nads: and, most important of all, hatching

Sam: Sam: oh shit I forgot that part

Marco leafs thru a book

Iris: thank you, Miss...?

Nads: Nadia~ c:

Nads: Talondrop Library's head librarian

Iris: Nadia c: I’m Iris

Iris: this is Marco and thats Sam

Nads: ...!!! :OOO Nads: you're from that academy aren't you?

Marco nods

Nads: I hear you guys are hosting the King of the Eastern Kingdom

Marco: pft

Marco: yeah now we are

Iris: always interesting, having visiting foreign entities

Nads: that's so neat, it must be exciting to swap stories c: Sam, muttering: and fluids c:', c: ', c:',

Sam: right marco

Marco: oh gross

Sam: marco

Sam: right

Nads: is there anything else I can help you all with today? c: Sam: yeah, you got any books on seduction so we can help my man over here? c:',

Marco: >:| stop this

Nads: 🤭 we have some romance books if he would be interested

Marco: I am not

Nads: of course! If you'll follow me to the counter

Nads: okay, so you have two weeks before you either have to return or renew them

Nads: I'll just need your signature right here Sam: alright

Nads: and right here Sam: 'kay Nads: and a drop of your blood Sam: ok- what

Nads: for the blood pact c: Nads: if you don't return the books on time there'll be a fee, and if you don't return it in a month's time I'll hunt you down

Sam:

Marco:

Iris: 👀

Sam, taking the pin: fine, I don't want to have to walk to the bookstore

sam pricks himself and a drop of blood falls onto the small magic circle on the counter

it evaporates into a cloud of pink smoke

Nads: the contract is sealed Nads, pushing the books towards him: have a lovely day :DDD

Sam@marco and iris: what, don't look at me like that

Sam: I need these books, I'm completely lost without them

Sam studying the books in his office while marco chills

maybe talking about how irid kicked his ass during training that day?

yes i love this

marco puts his feet up on sam's desk

what does sam do in this?

what if its the same gag

he does everything and nothing

and has an office

I like it

nobody knows what he does

but dm says he's invaluable

marco: so I look up she has the dumbest smirk on her face

marco: and decks me and I fall off the log and loose the whole ass challenge

Sam: HA, classic

marco, throwing the candy wrapper from the candy he nabbed from sam's candy dish on his desk in the wastebasket: stupid

Sam: was your love rival there

Marco: my what?

Marco: I have no such thing

Marco: Iridona is a colleague

Marco: who lied technically

Sam: we've all lied once or twice

So ya know how in older movies, a couple dancing in a big fancy number was like

Lowkey highkey hinting toward their chemistry in bed

That but its how irid and marco fight or fight together

Marco: Samir

Sam: like when you asked what happened to your piece of cake that day in third grade

Marco: excuse you

Sam: and I said your sister must have taken it

Sam: and Marco, you don't have to lie about that absolutely sizzling sexual chemistry you have with her

Sam: and don't let what's his face psyche you out

Marco:

Marco: 😳 n- no-

Marco: aw fuck it

Marco: It doesnt feel right to just up and

Sam: 👀

Marco: “hey so how about this thing I think is between us”

Sam: well sure if you wanna be all Sam: werewolf Sam: about it

Sam: take a starling approach

Sam: romance her

Sam: flirt

Sam: flash her that roguish smile

Sam: instead of ballroom dancing to express your feelings you two spar Sam: it's like its own dance, in a way

Marco: ugh dont remind me. If i was gonna go all werewolf, I’d tackle her during training and growl into her ear about all the stuff i’d love to do to her and see if she’s down

Sam: rhythmic, passionate

Marco: not cool

Marco:

Sam: hey now that's not werewolf Sam: werewolf is "hello milady, I would like to mount you, do I have thine permission?""

Marco: “would thou consent to be bred-eth?”

*wouldst

Sam: "I think you'll find I'm a suitable caretaker, watch me bench this deer carcass"

Marco: heheh

Marco: seriously, I dont even know if shes interested

Sam: well

Sam: test the waters

Sam: you don't have to be blunt about it

Sam: even though I know it's in your desantos dna

Sam: maybe we should have gotten you one of those seduction books

Sam: I've finished all these books and have to return them, I could pick one up c;

Marco: hatred

Marco: utter hatred

Sam: love you too

Marco: wait you read all of those books?

Sam: yes

Sam: Also I haven't slept

Sam: I'm sure it's fine

Marco: soo

Marco: have you come any closer to a decision?

Sam: mmm

Sam: I don't know

Sam: it's only been one day

Sam: Maybe once I get more books

Marco: I-

Marco: hold on

Sam: and return these before I get stabbed in my sleep or something 😒

Sam: what is it boy

marco: are you gonna chat up the cute head librarian

Sam: is celio stuck in a well

marco: utter loathing

Sam: what? I mean I guess I have to

marco: u t t e r  l o a t h i n g

Sam: I'm pretty sure she's the only librarian

Sam: cute eh? should I alert irid that she's lost her chance? 👀

Sam: anyway I need more books because honestly I'm starting to freak out

Marco: aw sami

Sam finding nads one day super depressed looking in the dark by herself

And when he gets her attention she's like "!!!" And tries to put on her customer service persona

He asks what's wrong and she tells him that the library's going to be shut down soon and it's all she has

Sam asking dm if there's any openings for the academy library

Dm: well

Dm: theres a lot of openings since part of every intellectual department was infested with Asrani loyalist so

Dm: yes

Sam: nice Sam: um Sam: can I ask for a favor

Dm: and poor Avalene is stretched thin between sorting out the archives and trying to sort out the library

Sam: nothing big this time, I promise

Dm:

Sam: look

Sam: the library in town is slated to be shut down

Sam: and the librarian there has really been helping out with the whole Sam: surprise fatherhood thing

Dm: ah yes

Dm: that aside, I hope you know you can count on me and Marco for support with that.

Sam: I mean granted loaning out books is a librarian's job

Sam: right, thank you sir

Sam: I'll...keep that in mind

Dm: >:| you mean isolate yourself eventually

Dm: anyway 😤

Dm: I’ll see what I can do

Sam: [bats his lashes]

Dm: the young woman in Talondrop? The enthusiastic one?

Sam: that's her

Dm: hm

Dm: I’ll get back to you

Sam: thanks

Dm dials the extension for the library where avilene has set up shop

The academy one

Dm: would you like to take on an experienced young librarian with enthusiasm for the jo- Avilene, loud enough for sam to hear thru the phone: yES

dm nods at sam

Sam: great, I'll let her know

Sam: see, I told you I'd be an asset

Sam: strengthening ties between our neighbors, finding new employees

Dm waves him away: yes yes

"So like I heard you knocked up one of my guards?"

Dm: tell my son to stop dancing around his very obvious crush on Ser Velezquez

Sam: I've tried

Dm: 😒

Sam: I promise I've tried

[kevinwillpkgd]

this was (a missing?) link on my cartoon page.

Christmas 06: The media bread+circus. Clowns, acrobats and animals.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2E8ddvbP3E (todays edit, 2019)

(Well, this is mostly snivelling I'm not rich yet, really. Or how I rec'd the 'be yourself' , 'meet the market' , 'do as you're told' life-style multiple-choice thing. Like man = muscle, hustle, brains, OK?)

Money, power and fame. FYI, Nothing says MPF like the CRTC. OK?

K!

Culture. This, here and now (today), is the valley of the vanities; we that seek vengeance. Our tribe, surrounded by those living vi-care-iously thru us. Into the valley of death rode the $600!

Revenge; it's the new macho. Get your forehead (VENGEANCE!) tattoo today and go ahead, rev on things that make u feel bad. Personality-cases (screwups) unlimited... R us.

You wanna survive in this cess-pool? Learn the tools of the trade first. Hey, we have lots more than psychotic jocks making a dirty run for the top here. Bitches do more than screw(up), whine and borrow money, too.

Whassup? People. OK, for instance, there's the fraud (black)con-spree type 419: (Web-works. Purse-snatching on the (greyhound) bus, car-jacking and other smash+grabs. Hack+crack. How long+far can ya run it (float) before a crash and burn collects ya?). 2: The blue-blood hot-wire connection team (Anything you can beg, borrow or steal. (BBS WIM FRE) They do have to prove you stole it, um? Also called the Micky-soft corp method or divine rite of cannibalism management. (as compared to 3: the 'Orifice of your choice' management.) It's recommended you have $4 billion a year for payouts and 15 extra years for the lawsuits it generates.)

Oh, and lawsuits? It costs $6000 to recover $500... or $200 to have the dumb f*ck killed instead. Welcome to (just another brick in the)wall street. Plus traditional isolate, sabotage, cover-up and mudball gossip types. Overt, covert subterfuge and clandestine operations.

Super-star personality cults, team-jams (pun intended) and formula (propaganda) works, basically.

(I *REALLY* want to include a link to the wiki on me here. Go look it up instead.)

First things first. Any good war-lord robin-hood has a low-rental ghetto to stash his gang (+recruits) in. That's the hood. Don't go there. Don't work that department unless pillage, loot and rape is first, second and third nature to ya. And not getting caught is fairly instinctive. Win.

Survival is for psychotic sociopaths... Unless you're a magically brilliant super-star. Grinding just digs a bigger and better hole-trap.

Oh, have your (team) loyalties straight first. (via alcohol addiction? History, character and impact is better.)

What's a dirty run-up? A functional (corp) team plays politics, not performance. Win, right? Not win, succeed, correct. Give 'em what they need, what works, what helps you; in the order of your choice. Gossip is the least of it. Winners turned loose in a candy store, got it?

Burn, humiliation or waste of time. How many parachuted soups (supervisors. Or dates.) are that way? The suggestion box feeds the (drinking) team, not you, remember.

Anyway, vanity. Paranoid skits and instant personality collapse: how real news unhinges cement-heads and makes entertainment-art = life.

Paranoids have real enemies too. Bad news doesn't make people feel good. Ideas don't either, so they vanity-rage, make it their own, then point in the great game.

After shooting the messenger, naturally. We didn't say they were bright. As a matter of fact, soups are know for loyalty, not IQ. Managers! Ignore, repress, develop. The odds of them developing you, as compared to furthering their politics? Not good, if you even get that far.

A sense of humor is first to go. That's not funny, that's filthy, mean and cruel. Instant rage! Like ufos. (A true cement-head has believed, at one time or another in his life, that he is the only real person in the world. Ego-centric retards in a pre-sociopath state. The only real people in the world usually don't believe in UFOs, or like to think about how many stars are out there; or that our sun is a third generation son.)

Considering any other ego out there just confuses the issues and any good cop know the issues are money, sex and revenge. We're only telling you it's money, power and fame. Sex, violence and humor sells, thou.

Sex is for the easily distracted. (ie, most of us. Oooh, tasty jingly glitter! wow!)

Ignorance is safer for ya, so the press shoots blanks. So do retards and other winners are just targets. Today's news and weather as reported by the people who denied smoking causes cancer for 50 years. Or golbal warming does storm season.

And they like lynching terrorists. Well, you *MIGHT* be terrible! A hate campaign is a simple campaign, anyone can join in. Perfection! Miracle-cure dept! Bad reporting is good business, OK? It makes for self-serving bullshit and an entertainment society? So? It works for BB!

Edutainment, propaganda and merchandising make Big-Brother fat and happy. Don't expect anything else from or for Valley-girls.

Bread and media circuses: nothing says money, power and fame like the CRTC, unless it's a corp-censor sitting on the pipe-line. Sharks, piranha and drowning (management) men; all the same thing, right? Everybody into the pool. When you have 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. So goes the money, power and fame of a media circus (ball).

Universities put con in connections nowadays. Commercial-Connect U. means bull, bitch + backstab... with a big grin. Cheerleaders, mass-produced. They don't worry about drug tests, they worry about IQ tests.

Content, copyright and control, today's CCC. Control-freaks out of stuff to steal mean trouble, by the way. Example? China and Russia eventually went tits-up. AGT= traditional, stereotyped societies. Just like graphics. (Or the movies.) That's typical of cheerleaders.

NB: If you can't sell 10 copies (of whatever) at a con anyway, you suck. Get over it.

So, dating by hustle: How to the building and use of a gunpoint-recruited team. Asked out, going out, working the crowd. Recruited, recommended, accepted.

Stalking millionaires, in a word. (Or at least a score. Http://packrat.comicgenesis.com My cartoon-connection stuff.)

Me? I'm not going to con you into anything, hustle you into it, compliment, hornswoggle or bully you. So please stop doing that to me!

Yell, maybe. bludgeon, maybe occasionally. I AM Irish, after all.

Lordy, she's talking again; I can feel my IQ dropping fast. Worse yet, my spider-sense is tingling now (along with a few other things) and part of me likes it big-time.

Finished. Rant-mode off.

You don't understand? From the shit-pit to weasel-world to cursing candles? Sigh. I am so dead. I'll do the necessary, sufficient, conditions of produce, connect, popular for sometime instead.

(for mike Becker of the Becker Bros (jazz sax player) jan 14th07

NEXT UP. Satire, (name dropping), parody, sarcasm, and mockery. Imitative, churlish, buffoonery and self-dep modes.