#Also I just don’t understand their whole wanting to stay out of the public eye

[sixteenavenue]

my opinion on meghan and harry is 👎🏻

[dovveri]

strangers

synopsis: trainee life is a lot tougher than you thought, but with three other trainees you met along the way, you have a little more hope that it’ll all be worth it in the end.

warnings: bad eating habits, mentions of vomiting and self-induced vomiting, swearing, suggestive, TOE-SUCKING, alcohol and parties, lots of feelings and trainee life angst

w/c: 19.2k !!!!! why is this like half of my entire bachelorette series jeezus

a/n: requested!! i actually dont fill reqs this quick but i had the idea alr and i lwk love writing poly i just think its so much messier and more confusing and FUN so writing this came a lot easier than writing other reqs do. also u lwk only have to read half of this and be happy yippee happily ever after OR u can potentially hurt urself and enjoy the angst but idk it’s not THAT bad so 🤗

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

“y/n?”

you blink, tilting your head up from your hiding spot under the table in the recording studio. it’s nayeon, one of the korean trainees. you hurriedly wipe your eyes on your sleeve, stumbling upwards and almost knocking your head on the bottom of the table.

“s-sorry. were you using this room? i’ll get out now-“

“no no! it’s okay i was just going to get some practice in and i saw you. are you… are you okay?” you appreciate her speaking slower for you, your grasp of korean still wasn’t the best.

“y-yeah i’m fine. i’ll just- leave you to it- sorry again-“

“are you sure? today’s actually my day off so i don’t have to be doing anything. i’m happy to just listen if you want…?”

you gulp, avoiding her gaze, nayeon was one of the trainees that everyone knew would most likely make it. you didn’t see much of her because she was always off on side jobs filming as a background dancer for music videos, booking small modelling gigs, and she was generally in more advanced classes than yours and was even set to debut in a group with a few others before the idea was scrapped. she was steadily making a name for herself even before the public knew her, something you couldn’t help but be envious of. but here she was, offering to listen to you of all people.

“i- um-“

“it’s okay. you can take your time.” she smiles sweetly, “i tried to take a few english classes but it’s a lot more difficult than i thought it’d be. so i can understand how hard it must be to come to a different country and learn a whole new language.”

“t-thank you. i was just um- i was actually just thinking about calling home and… and quitting.”

she nods, eyes filled with empathy, waiting for you to continue.

“i just- don’t think i can make it. there’s so many talented people here and this has always been my dream but i’m just not good enough and i don’t even- it doesn’t even make sense for me to be here when i could be back home getting an education or i don’t know- doing something with my life.”

“you don’t think what you’re doing now is something?”

you sigh, gripping your arm firmly, "it- it is but i don't know if it's all going to work out in the end."

"and you think going back home and going to school will guarantee things working out for you?"

"well- i- no, not for certain but-"

"so isn't the only difference that you actually want to do this? you don't want to end up working an office job for the rest of your life right?"

"but- like i'm more likely to get an office job than i am to debut-"

"i'm sure the office jobs will wait for you. idol life won't. if you don't make it, then the office job will always be there right? it's up to you though, i'm not trying to convince you to stay or leave, i just think it's a shame when you have a real chance at getting what you've dreamt of your whole life. you were scouted weren't you? did you know i auditioned to get in? and i had to hide it from my family because they didn't think this was a realistic job prospect, not when i was still in high school. so if you think you don't belong here, just remember you beat out other auditionees to get your spot as a trainee here, so you were good enough for that." she smiles brightly, her two protruding front teeth proudly on display, giving her the adorable likeability to a rabbit.

her words bring you back from the edge of panic, you've always looked at her through a lens of jealousy, wishing you had as much natural talent and star power as she did, but right now, you could see she was so much more than that, and you respected her for it, admired her for it.

"thank you nayeon." you finally meet the older girl's eyes, and her smile grows even brighter.

"of course. do you have any training schedules to get to right now? or do you want to stay here and practice some vocal chords with me?"

"would that be okay?" your eyes widen at her offer.

"yes! don't be silly y/n i know we're all meant to be competing or whatever but we're most likely going to debut in a group right? we can't just be out for each other's throats all the time."

you smile, finding her attitude refreshing, most of the trainees you had met were exactly like that, and you felt even more isolated when it was obvious they made no effort to get to know you because of the language barrier, to them, it was just another advantage they had over you.

"c'mon. let's see what you got."

your motivation reinvigorated, you spend the rest of the afternoon cooped up in the recording studio with nayeon, practicing together but also joking around and laughing, being the kids you were in an industry that stripped you of that freedom.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

"これの読み方を知っていますか?"

"いいえ、私は愚かです."

you shuffle uncomfortably in your seat, unable to shake the insecurity that they were talking about you. you were currently in your intensive korean class, waiting for the teacher to appear. the class was mostly quiet, except for the two girls sitting a table away from you, whispering and laughing, pushing each other around playfully.

when you glance towards them again, one of them meets your eye. you panic, whipping your head back down to your open textbook.

the girl who saw you whispers something to her seatmate, nodding towards you, bringing the other girl's attention to you as well.

you strain to see what they're doing in your peripheral vision, but the little giggles and whispers have you shrinking in even more on yourself, thinking they were making fun of you for whatever reason.

you don't notice when the one who spotted you first is suddenly standing next to you. she waits for you to acknowledge her, but when you don't she giggles again, leaning down and tilting her head so you had to look at her.

"hi. my name sana. you?"

"y-y/n."

"y/n? nice to meet you! that momo." she steps back a little and points at the other girl who waves shyly at you. you stare back at her, dumbfounded, reciprocating her wave.

"you... korean good?"

you blink, unsure of what to say, "umm... it's okay i guess."

sana grins, all teeth, almost blinding you, running back to her seat and picking up her textbook, skipping back towards you and plopping down in the empty seat next to you. she points at the page, "how to do?"

you look down to the question she has circled, it was part of the homework set from the last lesson. you flick back to that page in your own textbook, showing her and trying to explain with gestures what it was asking.

when it clicks, that blinding smile graces her features again, her eyes lighting up and quickly scribbling down the answer. then she turns to momo who seemed to be doodling little drawings all over her workbook instead of studying.

"モモリ馬鹿野郎 ! これがあなたのやり方です."

you shrink back into your seat, thinking she was done with you, only needing you to help her with her homework, and now that she was done, she could go back to making fun of you.

but instead, momo looks over curiously, standing up and hovering over the two of you. sana starts talking in rapid japanese, her hands flailing around excitedly.

momo nods along, and then she seems to get a moment of realisation, her eyebrows raising and mouth opening in the shape of an o, an "ahh!" escaping her.

sana looks back to you, "thank you! you so smart!"

you still don't really follow their conversation but you nod, shyly rubbing the back of your neck, "it's okay."

"we sit here?"

"sorry?"

sana frowns, an adorable pout forming on her lips, thinking over how to say what she wants. then she grabs momo's hand, gesturing between the both of them, "friends!", then she grabs your hand, gesturing between the three of you now, "friends?"

your hand is sweaty against sana's, you take note of how soft it feels against yours, heart stumbling a little over itself. you nod sheepishly, not expecting sana to grin, pulling you into a hug immediately.

momo goes to grab her things, and then settles into the seat on your other side, "sorry for her. she very huggy."

sana pouts, flicking momo's forehead playfully after she pulls away from you, "you like it too."

momo giggles, rolling her eyes.

things were moving so fast your brain was playing catch up. you knew the people here were a lot more affectionate than back home, but you still felt your heart racing from being in such close proximity with sana, and now momo too, the both of them squeezed against you and conversing lightly in broken korean and japanese while waiting for the teacher. it wasn't unwelcome though, this was the first time someone had asked you in such a straightforward way to become friends, it was refreshing, definitely better than the trainees in your vocal and dance classes who refused to interact with you at all.

when the teacher finally comes, he looks a little surprised at the change in seating, but doesn't comment on it, diving straight into the lesson.

sana and momo both try their best to keep up, sana remains fully engaged in the lesson, asking plenty of questions, while momo is the opposite. she's easily distracted, when the teacher goes on one of his off topic rants, she starts doodling in her textbook again, you repress a laugh at the stick men she drew frolicking around in fields with rainbows and stars. you can't help yourself but bring your pen to her page, adding a little deranged dog to her drawing.

she looks at you in surprise, but lets you finish, giggling at the result and drawing in some fur for the dog, fixing up your sorry attempt at a puppy.

the class finishes uneventfully after that. momo yawns, closing her book with relief while sana stretches, standing up and grinning down at the both of you.

momo looks at her warily, squinting, "what?"

"what?"

"you have not good look on your face. what you do?"

"what do you mean momoring?" sana's grin only grows wider.

"i don't want to get in trouble again."

"you woooon't. what you think y/n? want to sneak out get fried chicken and beer?"

momo groans, slumping down on her desk, muttering to herself in japanese while sana laughs at her reaction.

you look between the both of them, raising an eyebrow. you knew you shouldn't, but you hadn't had real food in so long, the company's strict diet and weight requirements always on all of your minds. and you hadn't really gone out and explored korea since you arrived. you'd pretty much been confined to the dorms and the company building, eating cafeteria food and living the same routine everyday, you knew the korean trainees would often get together after late night practices and have small gatherings the company wouldn't know about, but you were never invited to those.

you grin cheekily, "you have a plan?"

sana laughs, pulling you up to stand, hugging you once again in glee, "yay!! i knew we good friends! of course, it's not the first time momoring and i have snuck out." she pulls away with a wink.

momo grumbles behind you, slowly standing up as well, "last time you got us caught you said we were helping 'clean the streets'. stupid. we had extra exercise requirements for two weeks."

"we won't get caught this time! i promise! and if we do i pay for all our food."

momo perks up at that, eyeing sana, then holding out her pinky.

sana giggles, linking their pinkies and then dragging momo by their pinkies, and you by your hand out of the classroom and back towards the dorms to get ready.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

"sana- move!" momo grunts, shuffling around in clothes too big for her, a cap that dipped over her eyes, and a mask to hide her face.

"shh! you're gonna get us caught!"

"no you are!"

"okay they're gone let's go." sana slinks forward in similar attire, careful to avoid the security cameras, flapping a sleeve behind her frantically to gesture the both of you to follow. momo glances at you, rolling her eyes but smiling, tiptoeing forward and following sana.

you're body is surging with adrenaline. you had always been a 'good' kid. you've never tried sneaking out of anywhere before. you were also trying to hold in your laughter at how stupid the three of you must look, the sunglasses covering your eyes while indoors and at 9pm at night glazing your vision.

you make it halfway across the main entrance, almost to the exit, hands shoved in your pockets.

"... y/n?"

you pause, heart pounding. the two in front of you stop as well, sana looks back at you in alarm.

you decide the best course of action is to pretend you didn't hear them. after all, they couldn't be sure you were yourself right now right? the absurd disguises made sure of that. you take another step forward.

"y/n what are you wearing? you look like vector from despicable me."

curse sana for lending you that naruto cosplay. you forgot how visible your disguise was.

you turn on your heel slowly, terribly embarrassed to have been discovered like this, mind scrambling to come up with an excuse for what the three of you were doing.

but you're stopped in your tracks when you realise who was teasing you with a wide grin, two front teeth on display. she laughs when she finally sees you, it's loud and bright, it'd scare you away if you hadn't already heard it plenty of times from her when she had found you in the practice room that day.

"you look so stupid. wait-" she whips out her phone, and before you can protest, she snaps a quick picture, laughing at her phone after checking the result.

"nayeonn!"

"i can't believe you tried to sneak out wearing that."

you pout, crossing your arms protectively over yourself, "i wasn't trying to sneak out!"

she raises an eyebrow, "yeah and i'm not gorgeous." she jokes sarcastically, before peeking over your shoulder and nodding behind you, "and who are those two losers behind you?"

you turn, taking off your ridiculous sunglasses and waving to let them know you were fine and to join you. sana tilts her head curiously, moving back towards you, tugging along momo who takes off her cap, blowing her hair out of her face.

"oh! you're the japanese duo that came here on the same day! i'm sorry i don't remember your names but i saw you dance and you were incredible." she directs the last part at momo, who blushes at the compliment, nodding and hiding behind her hair. sana grins though, bowing down and bringing momo down with her.

"i'm sana! this is momo!"

"nayeon. it's nice to meet you both." nayeon smiles sweetly, bowing as well and gesturing for them to stand up. "where were you guys headed?"

"chicken and beer! you want to come?" sana quips happily, excited to meet anyone new.

"how were you guys going to get beer?" nayeon jokes with a smirk.

sana tilts her head confusedly, she looks adorable in the clothes that drown her.

"you're all underage right?"

sana looks to you in confusion, not seeming to understand what underage meant.

"ah- none of us are 18..." you gesture to the three of you.

sana makes a sound of exclamation, not having thought about that particular detail.

nayeon laughs brightly, finding the japanese girl's antiques endearing. "good thing you have me then! c'mon. i know the best place as well, and no one from the company will go around there so we won't get caught." she winks, pulling a mask and cap out of her jacket pocket and slipping it on.

you blink, surprised at the change in events.

nayeon shrugs, "always gotta be ready if we're training to be idols right?" you can see the smirk in her eyes, before she charges forward without an answer and leads the four of you into the night.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

your shoulder hurt.

there's another bout of laughter, you flinch, preparing yourself.

sure enough, nayeon's large hands come clapping down on your arm, you wince, trying to smile your way through the sting of each slap.

it doesn't help when sana realises why you look constipated, cracking up even more pointing at you with a hand over her mouth, which makes nayeon laugh again for absolutely no other reason than that you were all wasted.

"nayeonnie calm down- you're going to kill y/n-" sana chokes out between giggles.

nayeon blinks, looking at you, face brightly flushed. she pouts, leaning in close, "what did i do?"

you flush even brighter, blaming the alcohol and not the way nayeon's eyes are glued to your lips, squinting and trying to focus on one part of your face only with her wobbly vision. you push her off of you gently, rubbing at your shoulder with a grimace, "you hit people when you're drunk.""

nayeon coos, chasing after you, "awwwwwh did i hurt you? poor baby. here lemme kiss it better." nayeon purses her lips together, pushing her face towards you while you whine and laugh, trying to push her away.

sana pipes up at the word, "kiss? who are we kissing? i wanna kiss!"

momo snorts, playing around with the bottle cap of the soju you had gotten to after you had all decided the beer wasn't enough. her face is probably the most flushed of you all, but she was also probably the most sane of you all currently. "don't you kiss enough?"

sana whines, poking momo's cheek, "no! you don't let me! c'mere-" she leans forward, tickling momo's sides, trying to get her to let her defenses down and land one on her. momo laughs, pushing sana off, scrambling away in urgency.

you aren't faring much better, but then you get an idea, "sanaaa! kiss nayeon! she's trying to get me!"

sana turns to you both, and she's never one to turn down a kiss so she leans across the table, yanking nayeon's head towards her and pulling her away from you. but what surprises you is when she plants a sloppy kiss right on the eldest's lips.

you look at momo, expecting to see a similar look reflected, but she rolls her eyes, calmly picking up the bottle and bringing it to her lips again to take a sip.

they break away with a smack, exaggerated on sana's end who giggles and licks her lips, grabbing the bottle from momo and taking a sip as well.

nayeon blinks, her brain seeming to catch up with her body 2 seconds late. when she realises what happens, she stands up abruptly with a screech, her metal chair scraping against the floor in pain. you wince at the sound, but laugh when you catch her face, now brighter than momo's, hand over her mouth in shock. sana and momo easily join you, cackling as nayeon flails around, sounds coming out of her mouth in incoherent phrases.

it seems the shop owner has had enough of the four of you though.

"yah! out! all of you! bedtime! 2am now! go go!" you all continue laughing as you're ushered out of your seats. you're all too drunk to notice the way the shop owner has fondly been watching you for the last few hours, cleaning around and keeping her shop open later than she normally opens, recalling the days she was young and stupid as well. she shouts at you while she pushes you out the door, but she also shoves a plastic bag of takeaway chicken into your hands as she pushes you out, telling you all to go home and not to cause too much trouble at this time of night.

you all laugh and thank her, sana even goes to kiss her cheek, cooing at how adorable she was in her apron and wrinkles.

when you've finally calmed down and take in the chill air of the night sky, you shiver a little, the alcohol sloshing around in your body not enough to keep you warm.

momo sidles up next to you, linking your hands together easily and pulling you against her.

you grin at her, tightening your grip around her hand that she's shoved into the warm pocket of her jacket pocket.

the peace is quickly disrupted when nayeon sends a stumbled kick your way from behind you. she misses though, tripping over herself and almost falling face-flat onto the ground save for sana hooking onto her waist quickly, pulling her back up with a laugh.

nayeon wraps an arm around sana's shoulder, thanking her for the support. "yah. you two. kiss. i can't be the only one who had to kiss someone today."

sana pouts, "why do you say that like you didn't like it?"

nayeon sputters, squinting up at sana from her slouched position, her weight almost entirely leaning on sana, "no i didn't- i didn't mean it like- no but- ugh-"

sana giggles, shuffling around so she can accommodate nayeon better.

momo turns her head, "no way loser. you two only kissed because you're both so kissy."

"what does that even mean?!"

"sana kisses everyone when she's drunk. and you're just as bad nayeon. i don't know how you can go drinking with just one person. you need at least 2 or 3 to hold you up when you get drunk." momo teases, sticking out her tongue.

"respect your elders you little shit!"

you all laugh at that, nayeon may have gotten you all drinks but she wasn't that much older than you. and she looks hilarious bringing a fist up in the air and waving it around like a little angry old lady, too much spite in too little a body, it was cute.

"wait... so the only one i haven't kissed yet is y/n?"

you freeze, ready to make a run for it at the earliest sign of danger.

nayeon grins, pushing sana off of her and towards you, "let's change that!"

your eyes widen, legs tensing up, ready to rush forward, you pull your intertwined hands out of momo's pocket. but right as you're about to take off, momo smirks, yanking you backwards and spinning you around until you're met with the soft, ready lips sana has wating for you.

"mmf-!"

your eyes are squeezed shut when momo spun you, terrified of falling onto your face, but now all you can feel is her hand still holding yours, sana's coming up to steady your hips, her lips pressing against yours gently.

all too quickly, she breaks away with a giggle, licking her lips again. it must be a habit.

you stare at her dumbly, mouth hanging open, lips tingling with the faint taste of strawberry soju.

nayeon has ended up on the floor without anyone supporting her, cackling loudly and pointing at your dumbfounded look.

momo stifles a few chuckles as well, her hand still wrapped tightly around yours.

sana simply smiles, closing your mouth with her hand, brushing a thumb over your jaw in the process, then tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

you flush up immediately, whipping around and staring at the floor, the tips of your ears bright red.

sana laughs, cooing, "awwwwh! you're so cute! look at her guys! she's blushing!"

"no!" you speak up indignantly, voice squeaky, "i'm just drunk!"

"you're more red than me!" momo joins in, trying to get a look at your face better with a laugh, her nose scrunching up in glee.

you whine, trying to pull away from her, but she doesn't let your hand go, so you end up pulling her along with you as you stomp forward, eager to get home and away from your teasing new friends.

sana laughs, running after you both.

that left nayeon, still on the floor in the middle of the street at 3am. "guys! hey guys! don't forget me! come back! hey- wait!"

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

the four of you grow easily close after that night. and it helps that by chance, you're all allocated into the same dorm room for the new year. it's definitely a surprise since nayeon was one of the company's top trainees, and the rest of you were foreigners and had only been around for about 2 months. you'd heard it was meant to help the three of you get better at korean, having to converse in korean daily with a korean roommate so that existing friends like sana and momo couldn't get away with just talking in japanese when they were in the comfort of their dorms. plus, it seemed both sana and momo were making a name for themselves amongst the trainees as well for their bubbly idol personality and raw talent respectively.

"how's this?" nayeon comes out of the bathroom and does a little twirl, her hair already curled and makeup applied dazzlingly. she's wearing a pretty silk white dress with little blue bows decorating it, matching the blue ribbons she's used in her hair.

sana squeals, immediately bounding upwards and poking at her. "it's so cute! when did you get this?!"

"the last family trip i went on! are you sure it's okay?" nayeon pouts.

but then momo yells out from behind her, still doing her eyeliner in your shared bathroom mirror, "you look fine stop digging for compliments."

sana laughs cheerily when nayeon sputters back at her, latching onto the older girl and pecking her cheek, "it's okay nayeonnie i don't mind. i'll praise you anytime you want." there's a slight lilt to her voice, she finishes with a wink.

nayeon blushes immediately, but tries to cover for it by turning to you. "y/n? what do you think?"

you roll your eyes from your spot on sana's bed, more focused on applying the dark blue nail polish on your hands. "it's pretty."

"just pretty?" you can hear the pout in her voice.

you sigh exasperatedly, looking up at her in mock annoyance. "you're gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, exquisite, glamorous, everyone at the party will have their eyes on you."

you can hear momo fake gag from the bathroom, and sana bursting into giggles. but nayeon crosses her arms, frowning, "you see when you list it out like that it makes it a little harder to believe."

"ugh nayeon! you look good! what more do you want from me!"

she laughs, leaning down to squish your cheeks together affectionately, "thanks darling, i love my little thesaurus."

you grumble, careful not to get the drying nail polish onto sana's sheets. sana comes back to her position next to you, grabbing your hands and starting to blow on your fingers.

"what time does the party start again?" momo yells out from the bathroom, slipping into her outfit for the night.

"like... 10 minutes ago but it's fine. no one interesting is gonna get there on time." nayeon squeezes in next to you as well, leaning her head on your shoulder.

"that's because you're only interested in yourself."

"hey! i can revoke my invite to all of you!"

"you wanted us to go because you'd be, quote, bored out of your mind with all those mindless prepubescent boys trying to get in your pants! besides, we all got our own invites anyway."

"what?! why didn't you tell me?!"

"you were so cute thinking you were doing us all a solid or something for inviting us." sana speaks up with a giggle, "we couldn't break that!"

"you couldn't sana! i wanted to tell her and shove it up her proud ass but you just love to watch cute girls fumble around don't you?"

sana giggles again, going back to blowing on your nails.

but then momo steps out of the bathroom, clad in a very short bodycon dress, her makeup and hair fully done, the dress cutting open at her midriff showing off toned abs, pretty gold necklace decorating her neck, outlining her collarbones and the plunging neckline that pretty much ended at her belly button, tying together the cutout.

the three of you all stare at her, eyes roaming over the mass of skin, mouths open in... shock.

sana licks her lips slowly, eyes not bothering to meet her best friend's again, "you look... good."

momo smirks, imitating what's meant to be nayeon, "just good?"

nayeon bristles then, snapping out of her stupor, "shut up momo. don't you think you're... showing a bit too much skin?"

momo starts looking around for her shoes, bending over criminally with her back to you all, it's almost comedic how all three of your gazes lock onto her ass immediately. "this is nothing compared to some of the outfits they put us in when we do our showcases. besides, it's not like you can talk." she snorts, turning back around with heels in hand, her smirk never leaving her face as she watches the three of you, knowing exactly what you were doing.

"yeah but you'll... get cold."

"it's an indoor party."

"shut up!"

she laughs, standing back up after slipping into her shoes, "okay! ready to go?"

you gulp, standing up shakily, forcing you to look at her face and not ogle your friend's very attractive body. "y-yeah. took you all long enough."

"you finished practice earlier than us, you had more time to get ready. now let's go losers."

she leads the charge out your tiny shared room, nayeon gets up and follows grumpily. you look back down to sana who's still got her gaze locked on the way both girls' hips sway with each step. you roll your eyes, poking sana and dragging her up with a laugh. sana lets you, her brain short-circuiting, only able to be tugged along.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

you honestly had no idea how a party of this scale went unnoticed by the company. there were so many trainees you recognised, and even a few idols that were lesser known to the public. it was at someone's house, you don't remember who's, but there was no way you could've gotten away with a party this size back at the dorms.

music was blasting, drinks were being circulated, people were dancing and grinding up against each other. it wasn't a surprise to see the amount of rowdiness going on, that's what happened when you force a bunch of teenagers to undergo strict training and diet regimes, and forbid anything that could get anyone into any sorts of controversies in the future in case you made it and got famous.

the four of you had naturally split up when you arrived, being pulled away by different friends and people wanting to greet you. you spot momo on the dance floor already, not that it was difficult to seperate her from everyone else. sure you were all trainees and went through mandatory dance class, but everyone knew momo was something else when it came to dance. she had an aura about her, one that made people back up and give her space, circling her on the crowded floor and watching in awe of her moves.

you can hear nayeon before you spot her. she's with jihyo and jeongyeon, two other trainees that she was set to debut with, and granted, was naturally close with. they were all top-notch trainees at the company, everyone knew of them, knew that the next group coming out of jyp would most likely include the three of them.

that left sana, someone people naturally gravitated towards. her adorable happy-go-lucky energy was infectious, it was impossible not to fall in love with her at first sight. she was currently surrounded by a crowd of people, laughing and smiling, face tinged with the pink of alcohol.

eventually, someone gets people together for a game of spin the bottle. you're all sitting in a big circle in a room away from the rest of the party, chattering excitedly with the buzz of liquors, an empty soju bottle laying in the middle of you all.

"okay party people! game time!" the original host of the party, jackson wang, saunters in with a charming grin, plopping himself down between mark and jeongyeon. "so i'm gonna assume we all know how spin the bottle works. and if you don't... well you'll find out! who wants to go first!"

everyone looks around at everyone, antsy, unwilling to go first. jackson rolls his eyes, "alright losers. guess it's me." he bends forward and spins the bottle. everyone watches with anticipation, breaths held.

it lands on one of the younger trainees, ryujin. she makes a face of disgust, cringing, but jackson ignores it, quickly swooping in and kissing her.

when they break away, ryujin quickly downs her cup of whatever concoction of alcohol she has, wiping at her lips and pushing him off of her playfully. jackson laughs, backing away and returning to his seat. ryujin goes forward, places her fingers on the bottle, then spins it.

again, you all wait in anticipation, eyes locked on the dizzying movement, until it slowly lands on bambam.

ryujin groans again, bambam looks like he just won the lottery. "nope! i'm not kissing one of you gross guys again, jackson tasted like he doesn't know what a toothbrush is. gimme a dare."

there are shouts of disapproval, but ryujin ignores them all, sitting on her haunches, unmoving.

"okay just because you made that totally untrue comment about my breath, i'll give you one worse than kissing bam." jackson looks around the room, thinking to himself, mark whispers something in his ear and they both snicker, "alright. suck someone's toes for 10 seconds."

"pfft is that meant to be a dare?" ryujin easily leans forward, pulling yeji's sock off and immediately wrapping her lips around her toe. yeji squeals, trying to pull her foot away but ryujin is persistent amongst everyone's hollering and cheering, counting down the seconds.

she finally breaks away with a laugh, making a show of licking her lips while yeji blushes, yelling at her and slapping her arm, shoving her drink into her hand and making her rinse out her mouth.

bambam shyly goes forward next, he spins the bottle, and it lands on nayeon. his eyebrows almost get lost in his hairline with how far up they go, his head shooting up and looking at nayeon who was leaning on jihyo heavily, still laughing at the whole ryujin-yeji situation.

his boys clap him on the back with a cheer, pushing him forward towards the older girl. nayeon blinks, turning her attention to him, realising he had spun her.

her eyes meet yours for a second, and then they flit around the room, landing on sana and momo respectively, it's so quick you wouldn't have noticed if you weren't already locked on her gaze.

bambam moves forward shyly, kneeling in front of her, unsure of what to do. she leans back a little as he comes closer, putting on an encouraging smile, looking up at him.

he takes a breath, then dives down, you can hear their teeth clacking as he accidentally goes in too aggressively, nayeon cringes, but tries to make up for it by tilting her head, pressing her lips against his, trying to urge him to slow down, but bambam moves almost too eagerly, like he's eating her up. in the end, nayeon has to gently push him off of her to get him to stop, he looks dazed as he collapses back in his spot, bright blush on his face all the way down to his neck. nayeon tries to look polite and laughs it off, moving forward and quickly spinning the bottle to move everyone along.

only for it land on momo.

"oh hell no." they both say simultaneously, blushing furiously and gaping at each other from across the circle. you catch sana's eye, supressing a laugh as you look between the two of them.

"dare! i pick dare!"

sana perks up, taking the opportunity immediately, "okay i dare you to kiss momo!"

the boys around the circle all laugh, agreeing with her energetically, starting up a chant. momo sends a death glare towards sana, who just sticks out her tongue at her, making an exaggerated kissy face mimicking momo and nayeon kissing.

with no choice, nayeon shuffles forward, crouching down in front of momo who can't look her in the eye.

"don't fall in love with me or anything hirai."

that gets momo to snort, meeting nayeon's equally nervous gaze, "as if i'll be able to think about anything other than getting rid of the taste of you-" she's cut off, nayeon leaning down to plant her lips on her in haste.

momo blinks at first in confusion, then she's closing her eyes and circling a hand around nayeon's neck, pulling her in just a little closer and returning the kiss. they ignore the roar of the crowd, nayeon thinks to herself how much better momo's lips felt against her own than bambam's teeth did.

that thought quickly rips her away though, scrambling backwards and wiping at her lips in mock disgust, laughing breathily with a pretty blush adorning her face.

momo looks on after her, her expression unreadable. after things settle down again, momo leans forward, spinning the bottle.

sana doesn't even give anyone the chance to think, sliding forward and into momo's lap, cupping her cheek and bringing their lips together. momo reacts automatically, hands circling sana's hips and slotting them together, like they've done this countless times in the past.

watching nayeon and momo kiss was silly, fun, but this, this was something different. you glance at nayeon, who has a hand at her lips, staring at sana and momo make out in front of everyone, eyebrows furrowed slightly. you look back, swearing you can see the hint of a pink tongue poke out from sana, momo's hands tightening around the other girl's hips in reaction, before sana finally breaks away. she stands up, sauntering back to her spot with a proud grin, people are cheering, throwing confetti, bowing down to her as if she just brought rain down in a drought. she thrives in the attention. momo on the other hand is breathing heavily, expression shielded behind her hair, biting her lip and clenching her thighs together.

sana does a round around the inside of the circle, giggling and skipping along in her little pink slip. she finally arrives back to her original spot, bending down and spinning the bottle.

it lands on one of the younger trainees, dahyun. sana smiles sweetly, crawling forward. she whispers a few words to dahyun, who nods shyly, breath picking up, then sana leans in, just pecking her before pulling away again. nothing like the kiss she shared with momo.

you decide you need a drink.

at this point in the night, the kitchen is thankfully much less chaotic. most people are playing the game, on the dance floor, or passed out around the house.

you spoon a ladle of the jungle juice that probably has ludicrous amounts of liquor in it into your cup, gulping it down thirstily. you don't know why you suddenly felt so stifled in that room, feeling hot even in the little cropped top and skirt you're wearing.

"y/n?"

you turn, of course it's your three roommates, all looking very concerned for you.

"hey. you okay?" sana comes up to you first, cupping your cheeks, placing the back of her hand on the front of your forehead.

you wave her off with a chuckle, "yeah i'm fine guys. why did you leave the game?"

"because you left." momo says simply, taking the cup you're still holding in your hand away from you, sniffing the contents.

"you didn't have to do that. i was just taking a water break."

"riiiight. water." momo raises an eyebrow unimpressively, pouring the rest of your drink down the sink nearby.

"i'm fine though seriously! you guys should get back to the game."

"you're not coming?" sana pouts.

"not really feeling it anymore."

"do you wanna go home?" nayeon speaks up then, coming forward to lean on sana's back, her face resting on sana's shoulder, looking up at you with wide eyes.

"what? no! you guys have fun. seriously, stop worrying about me i'm fine!"

"we can't have fun without you."

"i'm sure you can."

"no. we're not the four of us without you. we're just... the three of us." sana tilts her head like a confused puppy, her proximity to you making you dizzy, you're not sure if it's the alcohol, or the fact that she was so close, but you can only focus on her lips, which then remind you of the way her lips had been on momo's lips, that had been on nayeon's lips. yeah you were definitely a little more than dizzy.

"wooahh- too much to drink i think." momo sidles up next to you, catching your waist, and holding you up against her. she jokes, "didn't think you'd be the same kinda drunk as nayeon y/n. i don't know if we have enough personnel to take care of the both of you."

you groan, pushing yourself back onto your own two feet, leaning back against the kitchen bench, "don't compare me to that trainwreck."

"hey!"

you all laugh, sana's hands coming down to squeeze nayeon's that are around her waist, turning to peck her cheek.

"i'm getting tired anyway. let's go home."

"what? guys no- you don't have to do this for me- you can stay-"

"we're not doing this for you idiot. i wanna sleep too. i'm gonna be grumpy tomorrow morning if we don't get enough sleep and i have dance practice with jyp."

"you're always grumpy in the mornings momoring."

"no i'm not!"

"yes you are." nayeon quips.

"shut up or i'll kiss you again im."

that makes everyone pause, processing the words in their head. momo doesn't even seem to realise what she's said, staring fiercely back at nayeon, only focused on winning their little bouts of banter.

you all stand in the kitchen in awkward silence, looking nervously at each other, unsure of what to say.

eventually sana speaks up, laughing edgily. "are y/n and i interrupting something orr...?"

"what?! no?!" they both speak up, protesting loudly.

you laugh, trying to ease the tension that seems to have come out of nowhere. "i could've said that about you and momo sana. that was some kiss." that was probably not the right thing to say to ease the tension.

"that's nothing. sana and i kiss all the time." momo brushes you off, shrugging, but sana looks hurt at the her words.

"nothing?"

"wait what do you mean all the time?"

momo blushes, looking between sana and nayeon. but sana's easily emotional feelings, amplified by her intoxication, have her eyes watering, sending momo straight into panic mode. "wait no- that's not what i meant satang-"

"then what did you mean?" sana frowns, you weren't sure if she was genuinely angry now or still playing around.

"i don't- satang i'm stupid we know this i just say stupid shit- things just come out of my mouth i didn't mean it like that-"

"then in what way did you mean it momoring?" her tone is clipped, throat scratchy.

"satang this isn't fair-"

"what isn't?"

"c'mon- satang please-"

all of a sudden, sana lurches forward, pressing her lips against momo's, trapping her against the kitchen counter. nayeon falls onto you without sana holding her up, you quickly grab her waist, supporting her, but both your eyes move back to sana and momo quickly.

they're kissing for real this time, not like when they were putting on a show for everyone else during the game. and you're both close enough you can hear the wet smacks of lips against lips, the little gasps and whimpers, every breath they take in between each kiss. momo's hands have come up to tangle in sana's hair, pulling her closer, their bodies meeting and moving against each other like they were made for each other.

you squirm slightly under nayeon, hands gripping her waist tighter at the sight, the dizzy feeling from earlier returning full force. you try and force yourself to focus on something else, it was probably a bit weird, to be so close, staring as your two closest friends made out, but you couldn't bring yourself to look away, your gaze lidded at the rushed pace, tongues clashing and being sucked into mouths.

you can tell nayeon is feeling very similarly, her hot breath hitting your lips at a faster pace than normal, laboured with excitement.

there's a crashing sound from upstairs where they were playing the game, followed by loud whooping and cheering. it pops the bubble that's formed between the four of you. sana breaks away from momo, panting, hands having come in to hold onto the other girl's hips, pushing her into the bench further having squeezed their bodies together as close as possible.

"w-was that- nothing?" her voice comes out hoarse and in a whisper, still catching her breath.

momo can't speak, her eyes still tightly shut, shaking her head in response.

"then what was it?"

momo groans, knocking her forehead against sana's gently, "don't ask me that sana." her voice is also laced with shaky breaths.

"why not?"

"it's confusing. you know i can't handle thinking about that much."

"am i confusing?"

she shakes her head again, but then points to you and nayeon, drawing a circle between the four of you, "this is confusing."

that gives sana pause, thinking over the possible implications of momo's words, taking the chance to catch her breath. then she looks up to the both of you, her eyes dragging up from the way you're still clutching nayeon's waist tightly, before meeting yours. the eye contact sends shivers down your spine, even when her eyes leave yours to stare into nayeon's, you can still feel all your senses on alert, breath held, tensions at an all time high.

sana's head tilts again, considering the both of you. then, she seems to come to a decision, and she's just as quick as she always is.

before you realise it, her lips are on yours, hand cupping your cheek, the other wrapped around nayeon to keep her there.

it's nothing like that first kiss you shared weeks ago. that was a simple peck, there and gone. this time, sana's moving her lips against yours, fingers caressing your cheek, down to your neck, lips soft and wet, panting directly into your mouth.

momo forces her eyes open, staring at you and sana kiss with hooded eyes. hands coming back down to grip the bench behind her, knuckles almost turning white from how hard she was holding onto it.

sana breaks away from you, but without taking a breath, turns her head, and starts kissing nayeon.

nayeon is only slightly surprised, almost all her weight leaning on you, gripping the back of your top tightly, reciprocating sana's kiss with as much vigor as sana gives.

when they finally break apart, you're all still breathing heavily, looking between each other, tension surmounting, thousands of words unsaid.

it's nayeon that speaks up first this time. she whistles lowly, letting out a small chuckle, "so... that wasn't... nothing."

"no." momo agrees. their eyes meet.

sana rolls her eyes, getting impatient, "so do you two wanna fuck or do you wanna fight?"

neither of them protest this time, they don't even laugh it off, you can all feel the very real pressure in the air.

"dunno. i think i need a..." momo licks her lips, "another taste to know." then she leans forward, capturing nayeon's lips with her own, straight up moaning at the contact. your thighs clench together at the sound. all of this was getting too much for your dumb little drunk brain. you had been spectating more than you had been involved, and it'd be a lie if you said you weren't turned on by it all.

nayeon and momo's kiss is different from sana's kisses. they're both aggressive, fighting for dominance, their natural banter translated onto their lips, grunts and gasps, trying to one-up each other.

eventually, they break away, but momo transitions straight over to you.

"need to compare." she mumbles lowly before attaching her lips to yours. she's much more gentle with you, teasing your mouth open before dipping her tongue inside, you whine against her, hips moving of their own accord when they grind up into nayeon who's still leaning on you for support.

you hear nayeon swear under her breath, regaining some of her drunk-addled consciousness to grip your hips roughly to stop you from doing that again. but that's the end of her control, she leans in, close enough so momo and you can both hear her, just inches away from your mouths moving against each other.

"my turn."

momo obliges, breaking away from you, only for nayeon to latch on. you can still hear momo's rough breathing next to your ear while your lips start moving against nayeon's, once again, with a completely different kissing style to momo and sana. she's slow and languid, pressed against your lips until you're just about to be out of breath, before breaking away and coming back in. she finishes with a little kitten lick on your upper lip, you whine, pushing your hips against her hands as she growls, pushing you back into the counter.

sana's spent the entire time watching all of you, having enough time to even pour herself another much needed drink. she swirls around the contents of her cup, downing it and speaking up again. "home?"

"home." you all unanimously agree.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

you wake up hazily with a pounding headache, vision blurred, mouth dry.

you squeeze your eyes shut again, the dim brightness of the room too much for you. you reach blindly for your glasses that should be next to your pillow on the top bunk of the bunk bed you share with sana. instead, your palm comes colliding with something that most definitely was not your glasses.

your eyes shoot open, squinting and trying to focus, as the person you've hit groans.

"10 more minutes."

"...momo?"

momo groans again, burying her face into the pillow you're sharing, hair messily coming to cover her eyes and furrowed eyebrows.

suddenly, memories of last night come flying back to you. you look down alarmingly, lifting the blanket slightly to find yourself very naked, with an equally naked momo curled around you, arm thrown lazily over your side, legs intertwined.

you also realise that this was not your bed. you were on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed opposite the one you shared with sana, this was nayeon's bed. now even more confused, you slowly turn your body, trying your best to not disturb momo who mumbles something while you shuffle around the bed, before pulling you closer into her.

the sudden feeling of her chest now pressed against your bare back surprises you, even though you knew you were both naked. you try your best to not think about it, squinting to look around the room for where nayeon could be if you were in her bed.

you didn't have to look far though, cuddled up on sana's bed right opposite you, is sana and nayeon. and you'd bet they were in the same state of undress you and momo were.

your heart rate picks up as you recall the events of last night. you hadn't exactly done a lot of talking. as soon as you got home, you were all over each other, somehow, you had made the limited space, and the fact that not all four of you could fit on one little bunk bed work for all of you. your thighs tingle with the memory, a blush adorning your face.

eventually, it's sana that wakes up first, turning in her bed and blinking at you slowly.

you let her come to her senses, your eyes drifting down to where the blanket has fallen in her movement, breath catching at the sight of her pretty naked chest moving up and down slowly with each breath.

sana doesn't mind the attention, she never has, she yawns, stretching unabashedly, revealing more of herself, sitting up and letting the blanket fall to her waist. "morning." she grumbles out, her voice scratchy and deep with fatigue.

you gulp, unable to tear your eyes away from her, "morning."

nayeon whines as sana moves, slowly waking up as well, her arm curled around sana's thighs, trying to keep her still.

sana reaches around and pulls an oversized shirt on, patting her hair down. you're not sure if you're thankful or mournful she's covered up.

"what time is it?" nayeon's voice speaks up, laced with the same hoarse tiredness you're sure you all have right now.

sana picks up her phone on the bedside table next to her bed, you're not sure where yours is. "6."

"too early. come back to bed."

sana giggles then, putting her phone back down and running a hand through nayeon's hair. "don't you have a schedule to get to later?"

"yeah later."

"... we should talk anyway." she's strangely serious, normally the most energetic of you all, even in the mornings. it gets nayeon to look up, hair messy, squinting, placing her chin on sana's thigh.

sana smiles at the sight, you find nayeon's glasses next to her bed, reaching to hand it over.

sana murmurs her thanks, stretching out to grab it from you and gently placing it over the eldest's eyes. she looks adorable.

"how long have you been awake?" nayeon directs the question to you, finally able to see you were awake and looking at the two of them.

you smile, "not that long."

"is momo...?"

"still asleep."

"should we wake her?"

"she's not gonna like that."

"she needs to get up in a bit anyway. she has practice with jyp later remember?"

in agreement, you turn in your spot again, smiling at the sight of momo, mouth hanging open slightly, black hair framing her face. hesitantly, you nudge her shoulder. there's no response, so you nudge her again, a little harder. she groans, grabbing your hand and interlacing your fingers, "10 more minutes."

you giggle, "you said that 10 minutes ago."

she mumbles incoherently, drifting back into sleep.

you roll your eyes, nudging her again, except she doesn't respond. so you resort to different measures, your other hand that isn't being held captive by her, sneaks down between the two of you, and you start tickling her sides.

she squirms, blinking, waking up, whiny and giggly.

"s-stop- stop y/n- stop- i'm up i'm up!"

there's laughter from behind you as well, and momo sits up, pushing your hands away to stop you from your attack. not that she needed to, you're eyes focused on something else as soon as the covers left her body. but of course, she bumps her head on the bunk, yelping, and cradling the top of her head, her hangover only worsening.

"okay okay guys- before we talk- i'm gonna need all of you to put on some clothes." you speak up, eyes still staring at momo's chest, almost drooling over her.

momo raises an eyebrow, before she shoves her chest into your face, rolling on top of you and squishing you.

"wha- momo- hey! no- mmf-"

you can hear everyone laughing as momo gets her revenge, pulling on the back of your neck while pushing out her chest, squeezing your face in between her breasts.

she finally breaks away once she's had enough, grinning and plucking a shirt down from her bunk on the top bed, pulling it loosely over her body.

"there. better?" she's kneeling on top of you, legs on both sides of your torso, shirt just long enough to reach past her top thighs. you gulp, eyes trained on the skin of her legs. momo rolls her eyes, pulling her shirt down a little more, coughing to get your attention.

your eyes snap back up to her with a blush.

she grins, leaning down easily and pecking you, rolling off of you again with one leg still thrown over your legs and cuddling into your side.

"morning losers."

"you're inconceivable momo."

"where'd you learn that word from? my ass?"

nayeon blushes, digging into sana's thighs. "throw me a shirt you little gremlin."

"get it yourself."

"you're on my bed!"

momo blinks, looking down at herself, finally coming to realise her surroundings. "oh."

sana laughs, pulls a shirt from under her bed and hands it to nayeon, "just borrow one of mine for now."

"sana i just got one for her!"

"give it to y/n."

"you just wanted to see her in your clothes."

"so?"

momo grumbles, handing the shirt she had grabbed for nayeon to you, helping you pull it on, hand skimming over the skin of your side and stomach.

“so…” you cough awkwardly, squirming under momo’s fingers that have stayed beneath your shirt, drawing random shapes into your skin.

“wait why do we need to talk?” she speaks up, leaning on her elbow, face on her palm looking across the room.

sana laughs, “is it simple for you now momoring?”

“is what simple?”

“i love your brain you idiot.”

“huh?” momo looks as confused as ever, too early to be thinking about anything.

sana takes a breath, gripping nayeon’s hand, “i like you. all of you.”

momo blinks, “we like you too.”

“i don’t want to kiss mina the way i kiss you momoring.”

“oh.” momo looks at sana, thinking, “but don’t you kiss everyone?”

sana laughs again, “is that what you think of me?”

she shrugs, “we kiss all the time.” she quickly corrects herself, not wanting to make the same mistake as last night, “and it doesn’t mean nothing. i’m sorry for saying that last night.”

the younger smiles, appreciates the effort, “you’re right. i kiss you all the time. no one else. i think you just get too dazed to notice anything else after we kiss.”

nayeon snorts, laughing loudly.

“what about dahyun last night?” you speak up, recalling the whispered words sana said to the younger trainee.

“we were playing spin the bottle. nayeonnie doesn’t like bambam even though she kissed him right?”

nayeon’s laughs turn into coughs very quickly, “absolutely the fuck not.”

“i was just making sure dahyunnie was okay with me kissing her, i told her it’d be really quick and i wouldn’t kiss her like i did momo. you don’t have to be jealous y/n.” she teases.

you whine, “i wasn’t!! i was just curious…”

“wait… is that why you left the game early last night?”

you feel your cheeks heat up, refusing to acknowledge the question.

“y/n!”

“what!”

“you should’ve told us! or me.”

“no way. i didn't even know what i was feeling. i just needed to get some air."

"will you tell us next time?"

"next time what?"

"next time you feel anything. even if you don't know what the feeling is."

you smile, pulling momo's hand that was creeping dangerously higher out from under your shirt, and interlocking your fingers, "yes. i will. i like you all too."

"blegh."

you and sana both look at nayeon with a frown.

"what?" she asks simply, crunching her nose up.

"nerd." sana pushes nayeon off her thigh, rolling her eyes.

"i'm not good with feelings!"

"get better with them then because i'm not dating an emotionless narcissist."

nayeon perks up, ignoring the insult, "we're dating?"

sana blushes, "i don't know. do you guys want to?"

"i do." you offer sana a reassuring smile, she's been leading the conversation this whole time and it took a lot of courage to do that. "momo, nayeon?"

"i don't think anything changes between us. except we all get to kiss and have sex whenever we want right?"

"momo!" you slap her hand lightly, she snickers.

"yeah. i'm pretty happy with that."

you all turn your gazes to nayeon.

she rolls her eyes, "as long as i get to top momo."

"just try it!"

"i will!"

you spend the rest of the morning, laughing, cuddling, doing things you'd always do together, but now with more freedom and less confusion.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

sometimes, you wish you had a different dream. a lot of the time really.

it hasn't been a good week. monthly trainee evaluations were coming up, and everyone could feel the pressure. there were rumours running around that jyp was preparing a survival show to debut the next girl group, and he was in the midst of picking trainees to participate, so everyone was on edge more than ever.

the one who had it the worst was momo.

you wince, curling in on yourself, knees to your chest, head resting on your knees, while you listen to your girlfriend dry heave in the bathroom.

nayeon's pacing around the room, obviously agitated, wishing she could do something to help. sana was in practice, you knew how hard she was working recently, she didn't need to worry about anything more right now.

"-stupid fucking trainers. they're all fucking blind she doesn't need to lose weight. they're gonna fucking kill her fuck-"

the bathroom door creaks open. both you and nayeon's heads snap towards it immediately.

nayeon rushes forward, holding momo up, caressing her cheek, brushing hair out of her face.

momo looks pale as a ghost. she's trembling, exhausted, you can barely stand to look at her without breaking down in tears. she knows. she knows how you all felt about her. so even when she's suffering the most, she still manages to crack a joke, "you care about me now im?"

"shut up momo. this isn't the time for that. you should lie down."

momo groans weakly, "can't. need to go to the gym."

nayeon explodes then, "what?! you are not going to the fucking gym right now momo. look at yourself! you're dying!"

"you still think i'm hot though right?" she grins. it has none of her usual sparkle, no mischief, just white teeth and lips.

"shut up or i'll kill you before you kill yourself."

the younger girl shrugs, you can see her bones with the movement.

"don't go to the gym. you already haven't eaten anything for the last five days. you haven't even drunk water for the last five days."

"yeah and i've still got 2 and a half kilos to lose."

"you don't- you shouldn't have to do that! you're skinny enough! you're going to die before you lose that weight!"

momo takes a shaky breath, you're surprised when a tear escapes her eye. even the fact that her body still has enough water to cry, and her not being the type of person to cry much in the first place, especially in front of other people, is shocking enough. she can't hold herself up any longer, collapsing onto the bed next to you. you open your arms immediately, lowering your legs, adjusting so she can lean all her weight on you. the feeling of her body against yours is terrifying. she's all bones. you can feel each rib, every pointy bone in her joints.

"i know. i'm so scared of dying." she whispers out eventually, still crying silently.

nayeon squeezes in as well, holding one of momo's hands, bringing it up to her lips to kiss it softly.

"i don't want to sleep. i'm terrified i won't wake up again. that i won't be able to see you guys again."

there are tears streaming down yours and nayeon's faces as well now.

"then eat. please darling. you need to eat." nayeon begs, wiping at her eyes furiously.

momo looks up at her weakly, smiling even now, "you know i can't. you'd both be doing the same thing if you were in my position right now."

you hold back choked sobs, burying your face into her neck. she can feel the tears staining it.

"it's okay. i'm gonna be okay. we're all going to be okay." her hand finds yours, squeezes both your hand and nayeon's.

"it's not fair. you're pretty much the same weight as me. why are they making you do this?"

she shrugs again, her sharp shoulders dig into your chest, "maybe they're testing me."

"for what?" nayeon says incredulously.

"dunno. if i have the willpower. if i'm ready to die for my dream. who knows."

"it's not willpower. it's fucking starvation. you're not even- you're all muscle. there's nothing to lose. the number on that scale is only higher because muscle is heavier than fat. and you wouldn't have all that muscle if you weren't the best dancer in this fucking company."

"you think i'm the best dancer?"

nayeon sighs frustratedly, "i know you are. darling... please. please just- some water- anything-"

"i can't. i'm sorry."

you've been talking in circles for days. the same thing, over and over again, begging her to eat, drink some water, rest. she's persistent though, hasn't broken once. when she first told you all the news, you were aghast, angry, but not surprised. you all thought you knew what it meant to lose 7 kilograms in a week, it was terrible, but it wouldn't be impossible. they wouldn't set you an impossible task. there has always been importance placed on your weight in this industry. they weighed you every morning before classes, tracked your progress, what you ate, how often you worked out, made sure you were kept consistently underweight, just how the public liked you. if they said momo needed to lose 7 kilograms to be attractive, to get a chance to debut, then she needed to lose 7 kilograms.

it wasn't until around the third day that you realised just what that meant though.

she collapsed in dance class. it wasn't an out of the ordinary experience, they put all of you on the edge of malnutrition, so there were always girls fainting left and right. but it was the first time for momo. and unlike the other girls who were instructed to eat better, momo was encouraged to keep doing what she was doing. because it was working, she was losing a kilogram everyday, more than that at the time because all her water weight was gone first.

so she came home that night proud that she had collapsed. they'd brainwashed her.

and so she kept on going. when all the trainees were off enjoying lunch, she had two fingers down her throat in the company bathrooms. when everyone retired to go home for the night and rest, she'd be running 10 miles an hour on the treadmill at the gym. naturally, her body started shutting down. she was losing too much weight too quickly, she wasn't getting the nutrients she needed to function as a human being, her body was in a state of panic, it was retaining as much weight as it could, it thought momo was in trouble, that it needed to protect her from all of these sudden changes, so it's natural she stopped losing weight at such a fast rate.

she didn't care if it was natural. all that mattered was that that number on the scale was 7 kilograms less than it was when she was first told to lose the weight.

on the outside, you could see how much it was affecting her, not just physically, but mentally as well. you were so confused what to do, you wanted to support her, and as a trainee who had the same dream as her, you understood why she was doing what she was doing, but you also didn't want her to die. you wanted your momo back, the one that smiled and laughed and played around with sana, secretly loving how affectionate sana was despite her outwardly 'cool girl' persona. you wanted the momo that teased and fought with nayeon, the only one that could bring nayeon back down to earth when she was getting too much in her head. you wanted the momo that kissed and pulled you into her whenever you shared a bed, that clung to you in the morning when you had to get up, whiny and pouty and sleepy. she was a shell of herself now. they had ripped the life out of one of your favourite people on the planet.

the door to your dorm clicks open softly.

you're all still cuddled up on the bed, squeezed against one another.

sana walks in, a tired smile on her face. it immediately disappears once she sees the tear streaks on all of your faces.

she rushes forward, cupping momo's cheeks, checking her pulse.

"i'm alive satang don't worry."

"did you eat?"

"you know i haven't."

sana's the most emotional of you all. just seeing her favourite people crying has her own tears welling up.

"oh satang not you too-"

"i can't help it. look at you momoring. why didn't you guys tell me?" she directs that to you and nayeon, frowning.

"you were at practice. we didn't want you to worry."

"momo is more important than practice."

"no satang. monthly evaluations are in two days. you're gonna make that lineup."

"i don't care if i make it if you die momo!"

"stop it. all this talk about- i'm not going to die guys. i'm fine, don't give up on me yet. i'm still here. if you all think i'm not going to make it then how am i supposed to think i'm going to make it?"

"that's not fair momo." you speak up, still cuddled into her neck. "this isn't- this isn't a daily worry. we live in the fucking twenty first century it's not normal to worry about whether or not you're going to live to see tomorrow."

"please momoring. here-" sana starts scrambling around in her bag, pulling out a thermos. "just one please-" she shakes out an ice cube, holds it out to momo in her palm.

momo stares at it, watches it melt, her mouth open, lips dry.

"please it's just one-"

"i-i... i can't-"

sana sobs, head falling into her elbow, crouched on the floor.

nayeon gently takes the ice cube from her, holds it in her palm, watching momo's gaze follow it.

"momo..."

"don't make me nayeon. please. i can't."

"i'm not. i won't." nayeon makes sure momo is still watching her, then she slowly takes the ice cube into her own mouth. she sucks on it, her cheeks hollowing out, melts it in her mouth slowly. when she's done, she opens her mouth, showing she's swallowed it all, then she asks, "do i look different?"

momo looks at her confused, "no?"

"if i went on that scale, how much do you think my weight will change?"

momo gets it, her face darkening again, "don't do this nayeon."

"just answer the question."

"...it probably wouldn't."

"right. look, here, y/n, have one." she reaches for sana's thermos, you hold out your hand, accepting the cold cube, then you pop it in your mouth, burying yourself back to your position in her neck, kissing the skin there gently with your cool lips.

she sighs on top of you.

nayeon's shaking another one out, popping it in her mouth, then she's giving one to sana who has her hand out, staring at momo with wide, hopeful eyes.

momo looks between the three of you, you all had so much love for her, you all just wanted the best for her. it was one ice cube. her body was screaming for it.

slowly, she holds her palm out.

you all stare at her with bated breath, almost in disbelief.

she smiles, "i've probably cried out enough for an ice cube right?"

sana lets out a broken laugh, nayeon's quick to shake out an ice cube into momo's palm.

momo stares down at it, brings it up to her mouth, takes a breath, then encloses her lips around it.

she sighs again, closing her eyes, reveling in the coolness of it, leaning back against you more.

you let her, leaning back fully until you're laid on the bed, spooning her. nayeon comes in behind you, squeezing herself against the wall, an arm coming up to rest on your midriff, her hand able to reach momo's side. sana clambers up as well, kissing momo's forehead and sniffling, looping an arm around her waist and snuggling in. after you had started dating you ended up pushing the two bunk beds in your room together so you could all share the bottom bunk, and so you could use the top bunks for storage space. it was still a little bit of a squeeze but the four of you didn't mind. you liked being as close as you all possibly could.

momo couldn't shake the thought that the ice cube melting down her throat would add on another kilogram or two, but she tried to focus on the feeling of her loved ones curled around her instead, falling into a restless sleep, praying she would be able to wake up and feel like this again.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

you grip your fork tightly, stabbing into your bland salad.

sana sits next to you, just as stiff, staring daggers across the cafeteria.

momo doesn't seem to mind though. she's happily munching away at her leaves. your heart softens a little at the sight, remembering how far she pushed herself last month, at least she was eating better now.

but then nayeon's laugh breaks through again, loud and bright. your jaw tightens at the sound.

"that's it." sana goes to stand but you tug on her hand, pulling her back down.

"don't."

"why not?" she spits, you've never seen her so livid. she was the happy charm of the company, people forget she could feel other emotions too.

"you'll cause a scene."

"good. then maybe he'll get his fucking baby hands off her."

"we can't. everyone will wonder why."

"why what?" she's still seething.

"why you have an issue with them. at worst they’ll think there’s something going on between you and nayeon. at best they’ll think you have a crush on him."

sana blanches, flicking her gaze over to you, “what?!”

“i don’t like it either. but we just have to trust her right?” you offer a smile, it’s a bit wonky and forced and sana sees straight through it, but it does get her to calm down a bit, taking a breath and slumping down in her seat.

“fine.”

“she loves you.”

“whatever.”

you smile genuinely at momo who looks at you in confusion, her mouth still full of lettuce. you shake your head, gesturing for her to keep eating and not to worry.

it’s not until later in the day when you have combined level dance practice that the issue comes up again. normally, he wouldn’t be near your class, sana and momo were naturally gifted dancers, so they were in higher level classes, and nayeon was an all-rounder, she was always in every top class to ensure she was around other people her level.

“they’d be cute wouldn’t they?” jihyo makes light conversation while you’re all stretching.

jeongyeon scoffs, “are you serious? he’s like… a baby.”

“he won’t be for that much longer.”

“gross dude!”

jihyo laughs.

“who are you guys talking about?” momo moves towards your group, mina in tow behind her.

“bambam and nayeon.”

“oh.” she drops down in a stretch, “what about them?”

jeongyeon snickers, teasing momo, “of course you didn’t know you airhead. bambam has a crush on her.”

“really?”

“yeah. did you see him almost wet himself when he got her during spin the bottle at jackson’s party?”

“it was so funny! and then when he went in to kiss her, that was so awkward! poor kid, i almost felt bad for him.”

“i don’t.” sana speaks up then, her teeth gritted, eyebrows furrowed, not even bothering to hide her gaze, staring at bambam and nayeon playing around in the mirror.

jihyo and jeongyeon exchange glances, confused.

“uhh… you okay sana?”

her eyes snap back up to meet jeongyeon’s, “yeah. fine, why?”

“you just seem a little… edgy.”

sana huffs, standing up again, “just tired.” she doesn’t say anything else, turning on her heel and leaving the training room.

momo catches your eye, tilts her head in question.

you shake your head, speaking up, “i’ll check on her.”

you jog outside, finding her near the water fountain.

“hey.”

“if you’re gonna lecture me again i don’t want to hear it.”

“no i wasn’t- i didn’t mean to lecture you at lunch. i just wanted to check on you.”

she sighs, sinking down into the cushion next to the fountain. you carefully sit next to her.

“i’m sorry. i just- i do trust her i just- i don’t trust him.”

“he’s just a kid sweetie.”

she scoffs, “yeah a hormonal pubescent teenage boy. they’re soo innocent, not like they don’t watch porn and jack off to every woman who even breathes near them.”

you’re about to reply when the door to the dance studio opens again, it’s nayeon.

she pokes her head out, looks up and down the hallway, and spots you, grinning. she jogs down to the both of you.

“hey! what are you guys doing here? class is about to start!”

sana doesn’t bother meeting her gaze, “oh so now you care about us?”

nayeon frowns, looks at you in confusion, you feel incredibly awkward, avoiding her eyes as well, “what’s going on?”

“nothing. go back to your boyfriend.”

“what?”

“you heard me.”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about sana. c’mon, let’s go to practice.”

“you don’t? is it that natural for you to drape yourself all over him?”

“what?”

sana finally looks up, eyes red and angry, “bambam. you know he likes you. why do you entertain him?”

“what? sana he’s just a kid-“

sana stands then, throwing her hands up in frustration, you keep your gaze locked on your shoes, “a kid! i’m sick of hearing that! so what if he’s a fucking kid? we’re fucking kids. you all think it’s so impossible that the im nayeon would ever like someone like him so it shouldn’t be anything to worry about right?! you know what sounds more impossible?! that im nayeon is in a polyamorous relationship with three other girls. three other kids!”

“sana! calm down don’t be so loud-“

“no don’t you tell me to fucking calm down. you see? we have to hide this. us. we can’t even talk about us in public. i was okay with that! because i still had you all. you were all worth it! but you could get with bambam right now and people wouldn’t even bat an eye. they’d celebrate it, congratulate him for pulling the girl, all while we can’t even hold hands in public without people looking at us weird!”

“but i- i don’t want to be with him! i want to be with all of you!”

“then don’t fucking laugh at his jokes, touch his biceps, compliment his fucking hair!”

“but- honey that’s all harmless-“

“you still don’t get it! you-"

the door opens once again, and this time it's momo's head that pops out. she frowns when she sees all of you, walking up, tilting her head in question.

sana huffs, "whatever. i'm not feeling like practice today. tell the instructors i'm sick please."

"wait sana-"

she turns on her heel and struts briskly away.

nayeon sighs in frustration, running a hand through her hair, "what is going on with her?" she mutters to herself.

you frown, the events of the day culminating, you wish nayeon could see where you were coming from, "she told you. i think it was pretty obvious." you didn't mean to sound so clipped, your tone just slipped out that way.

nayeon looks down at you, you were never one to talk back, you'd kept more of your emotions to yourself. "are you angry with me too then?"

"that's not it nayeon. look i don't want to fight. let's just go to practice."

you stand up, brushing past her, unable to look her in the eye. you can hear momo questioning nayeon behind you before you open the door to the practice room again, thinking over sana's words that left a heavy feeling in your stomach.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

after practice, you and momo go and grab dinner while nayeon has to go to another vocal lesson.

momo's still blissfully unaware, talking about how the dance practice was and how much fun she had in such a big class with everybody. you listen to her ramble with a smile, not wanting to burst her bubble.

it's unavoidable when you go home later that night and find nayeon alone in your dorm, freshly showered and typing away at her phone.

momo skips in first, kissing nayeon and grabbing some clothes to shower into, heading into the bathroom right after.

nayeon looks at you then, putting her phone down, "hey."

"hi." you shrug off your bag, taking off your shoes.

"where's sana?"

"i thought she'd be home by now."

she frowns, "i haven't seen her since..."

you bite your lip, growing slightly concerned, "should we call her?"

"i don't know if she would pick up for me..."

"right..." you take out your phone, scrolling to sana's contact and pressing dial. it rings for a little, and just before you're about to give up, she picks up, giggly and breathy.

"y/n!! i miss you! what's up!"

you squint, there was a lot of background noise, "sana where are you?"

"out! i'm having fun!"

"where?"

"i don't really know but i'll be home soon! i promise! i love you!" she blows a kiss through the phone and then she hangs up.

you stare down at her contact picture, it was of her and a hamster plushie momo had won for her when you had gone on a date to the carnival. you had all agreed it looked like her and she had hated it because she thought you were saying her chubby cheeks were the resemblance point.

"is she okay?" nayeon speaks up again, barefaced with her thick glasses on.

"i think so. she sounded... she said she'd be home soon."

"oh."

"yeah."

it's oddly quiet, awkward. you start shuffling out of your day clothes, picking out pyjamas for your turn to shower after momo.

"are we okay?" nayeon breaks the silence suddenly, eyes seemingly even bigger behind her glasses. she fiddles with her fingers nervously.

you sigh, moving around the small room to clean up a little, if only to give your hands something to do, so you had an excuse not to look at her. "i don't know. i think sana's less okay than me."

"but you're still... not okay?"

"i feel silly. momo doesn't even feel anything about it. i wish i was the same. i know you'd never cheat on us or whatever, i just- it's still hard y'know? watching you be like that with him. like- you wouldn't want to see me all over another guy right?"

"but he doesn't mean anything to me. he's just- he's like my little brother."

"i know that's why i feel silly. i know realistically you'd never leave us for him. but it still hurts sometimes- like- like you're dangling the fact that you can in front of our faces."

she's quiet for a bit. you risk it to sneak a glance at her. she has her eyebrows furrowed, thinking.

you sigh again, moving forward and standing next to the bed. you place your hand on her head, then start running your fingers through her hair.

"i'm sorry. i don't want to be- i'm not trying to be clingy or jealous or whatever i just can't help it. i- i- i love you."

she looks up at you, surprised. your hands move down to cup her cheeks, smoothing out the skin, there.

you lean down, pressing your forehead against hers, breathing softly, closing your eyes, appreciating her presence. then, you move the extra inch to press your lips together, just slowly, softly, only for a second or two.

when you break away, she doesn't let you go, holding onto your wrist and tugging you down gently, asking you to hug her. and you oblige. kneeling on the bed, letting her wrap her arms around you, and place another kiss on the crown of your head.

"i love you too. i'm sorry i didn't- i wasn't aware of how it looked on the outside. i never- because he doesn't mean anything to me like that, i didn't think anything of it. i didn't realise you guys may have taken it differently. thank you for telling me."

you peck the side of her hand that's right next to your face, holding yours. "it's because you're a T isn't it?" you joke.

she chuckles behind you, "yeah and all my girlfriends are Fs. emotional losers."

"repressed freak."

she rolls her eyes, brings you in closer, "i love you."

"you said that already."

"i wanted you to know again."

"looks like our F is rubbing off on you."

she whines, "are you not going to say it back?"

you smile, "i love you too."

when momo comes out of her shower, she curls into bed immediately with you all, tired from her day and wanting no more than to sleep with her girlfriends. she hopes you've all made up and the fighting can stop tomorrow.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

"did she come home last night?"

"it doesn't look like it."

"fuck she's not picking up her phone either."

"where could she be?"

"what are we going to tell the company?"

"she can't just have gone missing right?"

you're all stressing, nayeon's pacing around the room like she does when she's agitated, momo's trying to call sana's cell, and you're checking her socials and her friends to see if anyone knows where she is.

"what did she say when you called her again yesterday?"

"that she'd come home soon. there was a lot of background noise though, she said she didn't know where she was."

"you don't think she's in trouble right?"

"i don't know..."

"fuck! i never should've fought with her yesterday!"

"don't- no nayeon this isn't your fault at all don't blame yourself. we're going to find her." you step up, halting her pacing, grabbing her hands and squeezing.

she sighs, gritting her teeth, "fine. c'mon. let's go to class, we're late. maybe someone there has seen her.”

before she moves to leave, you cup her cheek, turning her back to you and kiss her in reassurance. she offers a smile when you break away, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

momo keeps trying sana's phone while you walk to the company building. by now, you were all relatively well known in the company, and the tension could be felt by newer trainees, they cleared the way as you walked past, not wanting to get caught up in anything.

you push open the door to the dance studio hurriedly, not in the mood for another scolding from the trainers.

but you freeze, spotting sana on the floor, stretching and getting ready.

"y/n? what's wrong?" momo tries peeking over your shoulder to see why you've stopped, and then she spots her as well.

"satang!"

sana looks up, there are obvious bags under her eyes, she's sluggish in her movements. momo pushes past you, dumping her bag down and rushing over.

"where were you?! we've been calling you all morning!"

sana squints, backing away from momo who was speaking too loud for her, "phone died."

"we were worried satang! why didn't you come home last night?" she says the last part in a whisper, not wanting to get sana in trouble with the watchful trainers.

you and nayeon have both entered now as well, nayeon stands behind you a little awkwardly, unsure of how to approach.

"i was out." sana says simply.

"but where?"

"doesn't matter. i'm here now right?"

"sana we were really worried." you speak up now, crouching down into a stretch.

she looks at you, her eyes are lifeless. "and now there's nothing to be worried about. i'm fine."

"what happened to you last night? you said you'd come home and then you didn't. where did you sleep? did you sleep? you look terrible."

she cringes, "gee thanks."

"you know i didn't mean it like that. what aren't you telling us?"

at that moment, bambam chooses to come over and greet you all.

"morning nayeon!"

nayeon is still focused on sana, frowning, but she greets him offhandedly anyway, "morning bam."

"what? no morning for us bambam?" sana speaks up with a teasing smile, it's anything but harmless.

"o-oh! sorry. good morning sana, momo, y/n." he bows to each of you.

"i get it. it's your crush on nayeonnie isn't it? she's so pretty right? and born to be an idol. i can see why you like her."

bambam sputters, completely unprepared, blushing bright red.

sana's smile is sinister.

"sana stop."

she looks at you innocently, blinking, "stop what? i'm not doing anything."

"sana!" behind you, mark suddenly appears, clapping bambam on the back. "last night was fun. you should invite your roomies next time! i'm sure bam would appreciate that wouldn't he?" mark elbows bambam with a snicker.

"oh i'm sure he would. i don't know though, i kinda liked it when it was just us y'know?" she sports a smirk, the one she uses when she wants sex.

mark blushes, muttering something and then dragging bambam away.

"what the fuck sana?" nayeon finally speaks up, glowering.

"what?" she blinks up.

"you were out with mark last night?"

"so what if i was?"

"we were fucking worried."

"and i told you i'm fine now. there was no reason to worry."

"we thought something bad could've happened."

"yeah well obviously nothing did right!? i don't get why you guys are so pressed. i just had a little fun, i needed it, and it was good for me."

"you mean he was good for you?"

"better for me than you were."

nayeon falters at that, hurt flashing across her face, "i'm sorry."

"what for?"

"i didn't listen to you yesterday."

sana shrugs, "it's fine. i get why you like it. i tried it. it's the attention right? it's nice to know someone else is in love with you."

"that's not- that's not what i was doing sana-"

"then what were you doing? you're with us right? so why are you flirting with other people? worried we won't last? backup options? attention?"

"sana- please- can we talk about this i don't-"

"we are talking about this."

"not here. alone."

"you ashamed of me?"

"no! sana what-"

"mark can hold my hand in public. he can kiss me in public. he can call me his."

nayeon clenches her fist, "does he?"

sana shrugs again, not bothering to answer, moving into another stretch. you can't believe her, what you're hearing, you've never seen her like this. never thought she could be like this. momo looks to be in shock too, sitting on her haunches, staring at sana with hurt written all over her face. sana ignores you all.

class starts.

you keep sana in the corner of your eye. she fools around with mark, teasing him, playfighting with him, and ignores the three of you completely. you try and understand where she's coming from, why she was purposely trying to hurt you. she just told you she loved you last night, this wasn't real. she was just doing this as her own personal form of revenge. she didn't mean any of this.

you had to keep telling yourself that.

as class ends, sana looks like she’s about to go out with mark again, but you quickly run out the door, tugging on her arm, “can we talk?”

her eyes soften when she realises it’s you, but she still looks unsure.

that is, until momo links her arm with yours, pleading with sana as well.

“alright.”

you quickly lead her into one of the empty recording studios, gesturing for nayeon to come follow before sana can change her mind. as soon as you’re all inside, you stand against the door, blocking any routes of escape.

sana scoffs when she sees nayeon enter the room as well, but with you in the way, there’s nowhere to run.

“what did you want to talk about?” her tone is cutting, she rubs in between her eyebrows, pushing out the tension there.

“you.”

“what about me?”

“how could you do that to us satang?”

sana sighs, glancing at momo, “you notice now momoring? how come you didn’t have an issue when it was nayeon?”

“w-what?”

“you knew bambam liked nayeon. why didn’t you have a problem when nayeon was hanging all over him?”

nayeon tries to protest but momo replies quickly, wide-eyed, “what do you mean? nayeon doesn’t like bambam though.”

“and i don’t like mark. so what’s the difference?”

“you went after him.” you interject.

“no i didn’t.”

“then how did you end up hanging out with him last night?”

“he saw me crying outside the company. he offered to listen and then to distract me afterwards. i had fun. he didn’t make me cry.”

“sana…” nayeon’s lower lip is wobbly.

“what?”

“…i’m sorry. for not listening to you. i should’ve given you a chance to explain yourself and understand where you were coming from.”

sana’s quiet for a bit, staring at nayeon, turning the words over in her head slowly. and then her own lip starts wobbling, throat constricting, tears welling up.

nayeon panics, “fuck- no i didn’t want to make you cry i didn’t- i’m sorry i made you cry the first time i didn’t- i’m sorry-“ she desperately wants to comfort her but she’s not sure if she can, still in an awkward sort of limbo.

sana closes it though, almost leaping into nayeon’s arms, burrowing her face into her neck and breathing out shakily, sniffling.

“…i’m sorry too. i knew what i was doing- i was being petty and stupid and jealous and i hurt all of you doing that.” she whispers into nayeon’s neck, but it’s quiet enough in the room that you can all hear her.

you breathe a sigh of relief, internal turmoil calmed for the moment. you walk forwards, wrapping your arms around the both of them, feeling momo do so as well on the other side.

“i don’t like him. i didn’t kiss or hold hands or do whatever else i said in there. i just- it really didn’t bother me before. that we had to keep this to ourselves. but then seeing nayeonnie with bambam acting so carefree and- and- everything, i just wished i could grab her and kiss her in front of him, so that everyone knew you were all mine, and that i’m all yours.”

“one day we’ll be able to sana. i promise. and i won’t- i’m not going to act like i’m not already spoken for anymore. i am all yours and i always will be.”

sana sniffles again, you’re close enough you can lean over nayeon’s shoulder and kiss her forehead.

“and i’m sorry for making you guys worry. my phone really did die though if that’s any solace.” she chuckles wetly.

“i have a portable!” momo quickly breaks away, running to her bag and pulling it out, handing it to sana with a proud smile.

sana returns it, thanking her and kissing her cheek, plugging in her phone.

“you were wrong about one thing you know.” nayeon speaks up again, the hint of a smile on her face.

sana stiffens, ready to argue again but not wanting to.

“korea is so homophobic that we can actually hold hands in public without people thinking we’re anything. we could probably get away with kissing on a few rare occasions too and people would still think we’re just really good friends. especially if we’re all kissing each other, they’ll just think we’re… all very friendly with each other and kiss as a sign of affection or something.”

sana laughs out loud, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand, “you’re right. i don’t necessarily have to hide how affectionate i am with you all.”

“and you’re very affectionate satang.”

sana rolls her eyes, hitting momo lightly. but then, her phone lights up, and she seems to read over something. she takes a few seconds, and then she’s blinking up, fresh tears in her eyes, launching forward into nayeon’s arms again.

nayeon grunts, catching her and squeezing back, “i take it you saw my message.”

“mmsorry- i lov- too.” her voice is muffled, but it’s obvious what she’s saying.

you don’t know what nayeon’s text said, and sana refuses to share with you afterwards, saying “nayeonnie’s words are for me only, tell her to do it again for you.” knowing nayeon hates expressing too much, which makes it all the more special to sana, but you’re just happy everything is okay between the four of you again.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

there was something going on and everyone knew it. the rumoured survival show for a new debut group was apparently set to start filming soon. select trainees were being pulled out of practice and given the news, although they were instructed not to say anything about it in order to not cause discouragement amongst other trainees and to minimise media leakage.

your girlfriends had all been called up and informed that they would be participating. now you were all waiting in anticipation for your own name to be called out.

after the monthly trainee showcase, JYP himself comes to make the announcement.

"i'm sure you've all heard the rumours going around about the new group we're planning to debut. it's going to be televised nationally in a reality-type fashion, so even if you don't make it to the final lineup, making it onto the show itself will be a big deal already, getting your name out there for potential future plans. the name of this show will be..." he pauses for effect, "sixteen!"

there's thundering applause, but you can barely hear it, anticipating, praying he would be announcing the lineup and that your name would be there.

"it's sixteen for the chosen sixteen exemplary trainees that the staff have recognised and recommended. they will be competing for seven spots in this new group. all sixteen trainees have now been notified of their involvement, but if you haven't received any news, don't worry! i always have all of you in my mind, like god, your time will come! so please cheer on and support your fellow trainees in their journeys!"

did you hear that right? everyone chosen had been notified already? so you weren't chosen? you weren't good enough? all that training... all those hours slaving away... all those tears, doubts, connections you've lost, all for what?

you look around, other people are cheering, some are crying, some are in disbelief like you.

your feet move before you can think, pushing to the front of the crowd, grabbing JYP.

"sir- why- why didn't i make it?" you're desperate, huffing, on the verge of breakdown.

he looks you up and down, a frown appearing on his usually smiley face, "what was your name again?"

your heart sinks. he didn't even know your name.

and then a look of realisation comes across him, "oh! you're that girl that's always with nayeon, momo, and sana! you should be happy for them! they're all fantastic trainees, they'll make wonderful idols."

you blink, dumbfounded, mouth agape.

"b-but- i- what was it? was i not a good enough singer? dancer? am i not pretty enough?" you're grasping for straws, anything to help you cling on to the possibility of your dream.

he tilts his head, crossing his arms, "ah- you... perhaps it's because you're always with those three. you just don't... stand out. nayeon has natural star power, her voice is one of the strongest in the company. momo is the best dancer we have, probably one of the best dancers in your generation. and sana has a personality people gravitate towards, she can keep group morale up and maintain public image. let me ask you.. what do you have? because aside from being friends with genuinely talented people, you just seem... average."

your hand falls, head drooping, the words hitting you hard.

"don't take this too personal though! perhaps with them out of the way, you can really find your own light to shine now! i believe in you!" he smiles again, then he's off with a flourish, being guided away by busy assistants.

you stare after him in shock, a flashback of sorts playing through your head, of the hardships you've been through to get to this point, of the tears and sweat you've dripped, it was too much. you needed out.

again, your feet move before you have control over them. mind moving at miles a minute, body on autopilot.

you're back in you're dorm room before you know it, and then your suitcase is being pulled off the top bunk, laid on the floor, and you're stumbling around throwing things in haphazardly. you don't even register when the door opens and three sets of footsteps tread in, too focused on thinking about how to get out, whether you could get to the airport in time, what you would say to your parents, your family, the people standing at the door in surprise, watching you clumsily shove things into your suitcase.

"...y/n? what are you doing?"

you barely look at them to reply, voice light and distracted, "packing."

"where are you going?"

"home."

"what?"

you head into the bathroom, starting to pick off the things you needed, you could leave some things, not everything was going to fit anyway and some things you could throw away.

"y/n wait- stop- just wait-"

you ignore them, clattering makeup items falling out of order into toiletry bags.

"y/n!" it's nayeon, her hands gripping your wrists firmly, not too firm to hurt, but enough to get you to stop. you finally look up at them, the break allows you to really feel your emotions, tears welling up immediately.

"oh sweetheart." nayeon tugs you into a hug, running a hand through your hair comfortingly. you feel sana and momo surround you, placing their arms around you as well. the dams break open then, and you're sobbing into their arms, all of your emotions finally catching up.

you stay there for a few minutes, just crying it out, the girls hushing and soothing you, letting you babble nonsense and cry into their shoulders.

when you finally calm down, you're exhausted, slumping down into nayeon. she supports you immediately, and tries to peek at you from your position in her neck, but you refuse to look at her, your eyes puffy and nose red.

"do you want to talk about it?"

you shake your head.

"do you... still want to leave?"

you take a breath, unsure. "i don't know." you whisper honestly, "what do i have to do here if i stay?"

"you have us." sana says quietly.

you chuckle wetly, "you don't get it. you guys all made it. i'm never going to. i don't- i'm happy for you all i am but- my dream-"

"shhh- it's okay. we... we do get it my love. we were all on this journey together weren't we? we've all had thoughts we wouldn't make it. even nayeon." momo tries to lighten the mood a little.

"but- you've all made it now. i don't even- why would you still want to be with me? i'm not good enough. you all got through. i'm the only one who didn't. doesn't that- don't you think i'm just pathetic? how could you still like me?"

"what?! what are you talking about y/n?! we don't like you for your talent we're not some talent recruiters. we like you because you're you, you're sweet and funny and caring. i know it's hard because we're in this industry so it feels like we're all competing, but you can't- it's not like that for us. don't ever doubt our love for you again."

you sob quietly, emotions still a wreck.

"please don't leave. this doesn't mean anything. there will be other opportunities. your dream is still possible. we might not be able to debut all together like we always wanted to but- but you still have a chance y/n. don't give up on it."

you sigh, too tired to argue, letting them bring you to bed, giving you one of the coveted middle spoon spots and cuddling into you until you fell into a restless sleep.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

the next few weeks are absolutely hectic. for your girlfriends. you spent most of your time moping around, giving only about 50% in all your classes, motivation completely shot. it didn't help that the three of them started spending a lot more time together, as is expected when they have to prepare filming for the same thing. often you'd find yourself coming home after a long day of practice, and find them giggling and laughing about things you have no idea about, sharing inside jokes and talking about things that happened during their day that you'd be too tired or jealous to ask about.

they tried to include you of course, but you couldn't bring yourself to join in.

internally, you felt terrible. you knew you should be proud, happy, enthusiastic that all three of them were in the process of having their dreams come true. they had worked harder than all of you, they certainly deserved this opportunity, and they deserved you to be in their corner, supporting them and loving them like any other partner would do in this situation.

but you couldn't do it. jyp's words continue to ping around your head like an endless pinball machine. how you had always been in their shadow, how he never saw your worth because of them. a small, petty part of you blamed them. you hated that part of yourself, tried to squash it down as much as you could. but sometimes when you're laid in between them at night, their light breaths deep in sleep, those thoughts come back, and you can't help but be envious of their position, wondering why them and not you.

naturally, you started drifting from them, especially when filming actually started.

they were moved out to different dorms during the filming, split into major and minor dorms so that the film crew could get some reality content. they still texted you often though, asking how your day was every night, they still made every effort to make it work. it was you who really started moving away when they were no longer physically there to remind you they loved you.

you'd cry most nights. cuddling into sheets that smelled like them, watching episodes of sixteen, wishing you were there with them. you missed them.

and then momo gets eliminated.

it's brutal. you're confused when she shuffles into your dorm room, hood over her head, dark circles under her eyes, still red from crying.

you had no idea what happened, the episode hadn't aired yet.

but your heart breaks seeing your girlfriend. you immediately squeeze her in your arms, she bursts into tears again, sobbing, clinging to you, unable to make any words.

she tells you later when you're curled up in bed, what happened and how she got eliminated. when she drifts off to bed, you stare at her sleeping face, now devoid of tears, she looked peaceful. and those sick thoughts come back.

you felt grateful she was eliminated. she was brought down to your level again. she was just another trainee now. it was terrible, but you had her again, you weren't going to lose her. you should've felt angry, sad, disappointed her dreams were just ripped away from her after getting so close. but you felt relieved instead. what a terrible person you were.

soon enough, it's the finals.

momo's dyed her hair a light blonde colour and cut bangs. you went with her and helped her pick it out the day after she came home. she needed a fresh start, needed to forget the pain it felt to be back at square 1.

now you stood with her in the crowd with the other eliminated trainees. you nod at them politely, but you have your hand tightly gripped with momo's anxiously looking up at the stage waiting for your other two girlfriends to appear. you hadn't seen them in months and you'd missed them.

momo had talked your ear off about everything that happened while she was on the show. updated you on everything. it felt nice, to be included again, to feel needed, wanted.

and momo wasn't shy about how supportive she was of nayeon and sana. constantly bringing them up during the day, wondering how they were doing, if they'd eaten yet, if they were getting enough sleep, hoping they weren't thinking about her getting eliminated too much, praying they'll both make the final group.

you agreed with her each time, but she made you feel like a terrible girlfriend. she was what you were meant to be when she was still on the show. you try and make up for it in the last few weeks, making signs and pasting pictures of nayeon and sana on posters, making some for both you and momo to bring to the finals. she grins and kisses you on the head when she sees them, saying how sweet you were, how considerate you were. you smile guiltily, knowing that was far from the truth.

finally, the lineup starts to be announced.

you spot sana on the majors side already, nayeon still on the minors side. you have your fingers crossed, anxiously watching, momo's hand is white from how hard she's gripping yours, just as anxious.

nayeon's name is announced first.

momo bursts into tears, smiling, crying. she's so proud. you are too. she made it. you always knew she would. im nayeon was born to be a star.

and then, after the first seven are confirmed, sana's spot also secured, jyp makes the surprise announcement. it was going to be a nine member group. he announces tzuyu first, as the fan favourite.

and then, momo's name is read out.

momo is in shock at first, but trainees around you start clapping her on the back, congratulating her, and she starts sobbing again, covering her face as the camera pans to her. you quickly let go of her hand, not wanting to arouse any suspicions. she tries and looks at you but she's pushed up on stage before she knows it.

you can see nayeon and sana in the back, crying, in shock as well.

you can't even listen to momo's speech.

you feel like you're the only person in the entire venue again. it was quiet. you were alone. again.

your feet start to move on autopilot again. dissociating.

you manage to slip through the crowd, back turned, not realising the girls were searching the crowd, looking for you. wanting to share one of the most important parts of their lives with you. you were too selfish to let them.

you're at the dorms again, the suitcase is out, already half-packed from the last time you'd thought about doing this. this time though, they wouldn't be able to stop you. there'd be an afterparty, you were sure, they'll probably expect to see you there, they won't. then they'll come home, worried, and find all your things gone. the only remnant of your existence, a letter placed carefully on the bed.

dear nayeon, momo, sana,

firstly, congratulations. if anyone deserved those spots, it was you three. you've all worked so hard to get here, and i'm so proud of you all. your dreams are coming true. everything you've ever thought was out of reach, is about to become reality. you deserve all the fame, money, love, everything, and i know it's going to come your way, because i fell for you too.

i'm sorry. i'm not who you thought i was. i'm not a good person. and you deserve to be with good people. i'm leaving. for good this time. i'm sorry that i chose tonight to do this, when you three should be on top of the world, in a way, it's my own sort of revenge i guess. selfishly making you feel a little of what i've felt the last few months. it's why i can't be with you anymore. i'll only bring you down more. i loved you all. i didn't want to start hating you for being better than me, i wanted to keep the memories of our love pure and joyful. if i stayed, i'd grow to despise you for having what i've wanted for all my life. i didn't want that. i'm a terrible person, i could never ask for your forgiveness, only that you forget about me. forget me and continue living your lives under the spotlight, don't let me drag you back into the shadows. don't try and find me.

i'm sorry.

when they try and call you, you'll be on the flight home, your phone unable to receive any of their messages. you throw away your phone as soon as you arrive, buying a new one and starting your new life.

they barely have time to chase after you. you'd be grateful for that. they're thrown straight into schedules and planning for their debut.

eventually, you become a distant memory for them, as they do for you.

when you're older, you'll find a box you sealed away, filled with pictures of the four of you, young and in love. you'll sit there, thumbing through them, crying, wondering how you could possibly have let them go. you'll think back to your actions, appalled at the person you were, hating the industry for pitting you against them, and then realising it was your fault the entire time. you were young, stupid, greedy, you thought your dream mattered more to you than the girls did. now that you’re older, you realise you were so wrong. the girls were your dream.

you'll buy a ticket for their concert while they’re on tour, and you'll quietly cry to yourself again, seeing them in person, grown up, smiling, singing, doing what they loved in front of crowds of people who loved them as much as they loved you all those years ago. you'll think about making yourself known to them, but you'd hurt them enough. they seemed happy now, you had no place intruding on that anymore.

you were just another stranger now. you have been for years. and you had no one to blame but yourself.

[rubylovessharks]

Hiiiii! I just stumbled across your blog and I’m in love. (Me rn-😍😍😍) Anywayssss, would you be willing to do some sfw/nsfw head-cannons for the seven demon brothers from obey me? If not all seven Asmo, Beel, Belfie, and Levi are my faves! Thanks so much in advance if you don’t want to do this I completely understand and my feelings won’t be hurt.

Please remember to drink plenty of water and get plenty of rest. With luv, Madzzz. 💜💜💜

^^^^Btw this is me manifesting you see this^^^^

omgg ofc i can!! (try-) alsoo thanks for the whishes, staying healthy is super important, so you should too! :D <3 gn!mc x the demon bros ;) considering the fact that you havent specified the gender of the mc im doing gender natural if thats ok- ok! so! sfw and nsfw hcs!!

so sorry if this wont be what you were hoping :(

Lucifer

🩷sfw🩷

can we all agree that this guy when he gets drunk he becomes clingy af?

he just sends you a bunch of messages telling you to come over

and when you do come over he's just laying in bed there, eyes half closed and face red.

anyway you get the point. when Lucifer gets drunk he wants to cuddle you for a few good hours

drunk times aside- normally your actual dates are more active.

by which I mean either you two talk about random stuff or Lucifer takes you somewhere

❤️nsfw❤️

the only time I think Luci will be willing to get fucked is when he's drunk. but you do need his consent waaay beforehand. as you should irl too

other then that he doms all the time.

I feel like he'd be into bdsm

i kinda think he'll be into rope stuff. he seems like the type who'd want to tie you up, but also in a pretty way ;)

also spanking.

Mammon

🩷sfw🩷

the typa guy who'd give you gifts saying he "coincidently" found it(asifhewasntlookingforthebestthingtogiveyou) and the moment someone sees you with it and asks about it and you say that it's from your boyfriend he becomes the happiest ever <3

also is really into pda, like he won't admit it- but he NEEDS to hold your hand in public. how else will people know you are his???

Mams is also really into kisses. like any kisses really- forehead kisses, cheek kisses, hand kisses, nose kisses ANY KISSES

unfraternally he'll sometimes come to you to ask to borrow money.... but he'll get you back

with a kiss on the cheek and the possibility of taking your walking privilege...

❤️nsfw❤️

switch, leaning to sub

the last thing I said about your walking privilege is true. Mammon thinks he just needs to fuck you hard enough as payback for letting him borrow some money

and with the stamina he has, it's totally enough to fuck your brains out ;)

I think he's into cuffs, won't matter if it's on him or on you, but if they go on his hands it has to be roleplay

what roleplay? cop stuff :3

Mams acts as an inmate or robber who just got caught, and you as a cop who is arresting him or punishing him

kinky stuff ya know?

I feel like he'd be into getting his cock milked as you ride him for hours upon hours

maybe has a choking kink? towards him I mean- he's too scared to choke you to death.. but there is a possibility that he'll choke you when he fucks you out of jealousy

Leviathan

🩷sfw🩷

gaming dates <3

canonically Levi isn't really one to like going outside so it makes sense that he'd prefer to hang in his or your room (mostly in his)

it'll take him some time until he'll actually be comfortable to be all touchy and physical.

but i like to think that even then he'd be more simple and not all clingy

aquarium dates ♡ once in a while, when he's actually ready for the outside world

he finds aquarium dates to be a little bit fun once or twice a year

but yeah it's mostly just gaming dates and dates where you watch anime and such-

AND cosplay dates

mostly ruri cosplay dates, but still cosplay dates as a whole ♡

❤️nsfw❤️

like with physical touch it'll take him a long time until he'll be ready for sex

he'll be all blushy and, sorry, kinda sweaty when sex is mentioned.

he's just so not used to it :(

LEVI IS A SUB.

well switch technically- but he's more in the being fucked out of his mind position then the fucking you out of your mind position

but how do you get him in a domy mood? probably either by making him jealous, or in a more competitive mood.

what do i mean? well just egg him on, tell him that you can totally win this game round, and the next one, and the next one. well you gotta win for it to actually work- but still. the more you do it the more upset he is

it doesn't work all the time, but he has a bit of a competitive side ;)

he's a kinda kinky guy, he'd probs be into things like tons of praise but with a mix of humiliation (to both sides)

like if you were to tell him that he's been soo good for you and what he does is probably sit on the floor while his mouth and face is being used for you to get off

Satan

🩷sfw🩷

reading dates :D

can happen in his/your room, but can also happen out in a cat cafe or a park outside :3

and if you aren't a person who likes to read Satan is willing to read for you once in a while

you and him will definitely take in cats without Lucifer's agreement, you'll just keep them in Satan's room or your's and take care of them there.

you, him and Belphie are out to get Luci. and if it's just the two of you without Belphegor it feels like a date idea for Satan :p

from time to time you'll hear Satan talk on and on about different research stuff that he's into for the time being

and you'll tots be hearing this guy talk a lot about his detective books

❤️nsfw❤️

cockwarming while Satan reads.

is there more to say? like do ya'll need an explanation????

this is getting in a more kinky-noteverydaykinks territory but can we agree that Satan is into collars?

it just seems right idk. like it won't matter to him who's wearing it- he likes wearing them, and seeing them on his s/o

another switch, i mean i like to think that most of them are switches.. but like I'll still say it every time.

leaning into dom territory, but he won't mind being fucked into oblivion

angry sex. who knows what might've started it but if he needs to take out his anger on something your hole will be number 1 (ofc he you say you dont want to he wont- everything is consensual)

also into roleplay stuff, probs petplay. kinky stuff

Asmodeus

🩷sfw🩷

first thing I'm going to say is painting nails dates. spa dates. any beauty care dates will happen.

and you can't escape it :)

he WILL post you on any of his social medias with captions that say things like "look at my lover ♡ aren't they the cutest!?" :3

I think Asmo will be the type of person who'd like to get gifts as a receiving love language, and as a giving love language it'll be physical touch

i feel like as a whole he likes being physical, I mean have you seen this guy?? but I think he feels more special when you buy or make him gifts <3

❤️nsfw❤️

THE KINKIEST GUY EVER

like he literally is the avatar of lust. like doesn't that make him kinky enough??????

switch and it's literally is 50/50 with sub and dom with him

toys. toys all the way. when he doms he uses toys, when he subs he uses toys. toys are something he really likes

of course there will be times when he doesn't want to use them and really get more lovey dovey ♡

during sex you two may switch between sub and dom at least once.

Beelzebub

🩷sfw🩷

shares with you anything he wants to eat ♡

it'll probably be half eaten if he already has his hands on it but he tries his best to control himself so you'd at least have even the smallest of bites <3

he sometimes accidentally bites you, like not super hard and painful but there are times it leaves a mark-

can and will give you piggyback rides if you ask him

when you two go to a restaurant and in typical Beelzebub fashion he eats too much and the bill is huge he'll tell you he'll be the one paying, even for your share.

COOKING DATES!!!!!!!!

sure he might eat half of the ingredients- but he'll try his best to not eat it all so you two can have a finished product ♡

❤️nsfw❤️

I know everyone says this but it's true. this guy eats you out like a pro.

and it doesn't matter if you have a pussy, a cock or anything else- it doesn't matter. he knows how to put his mouth to good use. and he can go FOR HOURS and not get tired. it's like his favorite thing♡

we all know this man is packing. probably has the biggest dick of them all(maybe diavolo's is bigger who wants to help me measure :))

and he's so sweet when you try to take him ♡ ♡ ♡

he'll tell you things like "You can do it" "I know..it is pretty big...but you took it before!" with such a sweet smile you know he says this not to make fun of you, but because he actually thinks you can take his huge cock ♡

Beel will proooobably lose control and kinda start fucking you like an animal in heat after a few while of fucking

but after that he does such nice aftercare!

Belphegor

🩷sfw🩷

naps all the way :3

you are the pillow. you can't say anything but yes.

I like to think that he has dreams about you, and if he dreams of something that he's actually willing to do in real life he'll ask you if you'd like to do it :D

when you two do go out he likes to hold your hand, for more then just pda. he might fall asleep while standing and walking from time to time, so you can notice if he fell asleep or not.

do you know what I think you two might do? go to bed stores and try out the beds :3

❤️nsfw❤️

sadistic fuck. (affectionate)

he's a dom, even when he's half asleep.

I think he'd kinda tell you to ride him even when it looks like he's about to fall asleep, and the moment you stop he's immediately awake telling you to continue

will degrade you, like he's real mean

he does like the idea of chocking you but ya know.. might take a while....probs a few years-

well anything too dangerous will take a few years until he feels like he can actually do anything to you..

he's into anything that can and will humiliate you

he'd be into somnophilia but towards himself

maybe towards you? with consent ofc but mostly towards himself

why? cuz he can and will fall asleep during sex. and if it's something like you riding him he'd be totally fine with you still going even when he falls asleep.

[sugusatosluut]

Megumi Fushiguro and Ino Takuma x female!reader

MDNI✨

Heads up: characters are aged up in this one {18+} Smut, poly, reader has different dynamics with both men, sub!reader, sorta dom megumi, sorta dom Ino. Enjoy!

Megumi and Ino enjoyed your presence. Your calm demeanor and sweet smile reminded them of Utahime in some weird way even though you were her student. It made sense. Your constant efforts to protect them never went unnoticed. They watched you get praised by Nanami and Gojo constantly and to be honest, both of them felt a little jealous. Not because of the praise, but because of how you reacted to it. Gojo’s version of praising you was different than Nanami’s. Gojo would always lean slightly down to your level and get right in your face to tell you things that only the two of you could hear, making you nervous as he smiled at you, his minty breath hitting your face. That always made Megumi itch. He’d always thank you for protecting his students. Nanami on the other hand exchanged his praise in cordial dinners and expressing his gratitude towards you by making small talk and flashing a soft smile, ending in him paying the bill *literally every time*. Both men knew you weren’t materialistic, but wanted to give you something to always remind you of their gratitude, and that was the only way they knew how. You were always thankful.

You’ve known Megumi and Ino for a while.. your relationship with them was extremely private, the only rules were no pda outside of the privacy of your own homes. Megumi and Ino also agreed not to talk about it to anyone else either. The sorcerer world is hard enough being judged by higher ups and classmates alike.

Your relationship with both men were of different worlds. Outside of home, Megumi was very quiet and independent. He sometimes can be found by Itadori or by himself. Rarely he’d be next to you or gojo. It’s just a thing he has. The people closest to him, he’s rarely around. Megumi in private was very passionate and vocal about making you feel good, you’re his princess. His need for you to be on top riding him and to make love to you was very clear. Don’t get me started on after sex cuddles.. you need to be laying on him or under him. No in between. Ino on the other hand, in public he’s always got his eye on you, observing you like Nanami does. He’s always by your side and happy to stay there. He’s very puppy-like. In private, ino was very attentive to your moans. He hates when people outside the relationship touch you. Once Yuuji had given you a hug that lasted a little too long for Ino’s liking, he punished you in private for it, edging you the whole night while he came several times. Megumi and ino took all your social and emotional queues more serious after they further figured out how certain things made you feel.

This one night in particular really had both of them heated.

After a long mission lasted a couple weeks of tracking down and exorcising a special grade curse, you guys checked in with your mentors and shoko. The boys weren’t hurt too badly and you refused to let anyone touch you the whole ride back to Tokyo. It was a traumatic experience, but instead of confiding in your boys, you had become excessively and exceptionally difficult to them. Gojo sat next to you, dropping his blindfold. “You okay?” He asked.

You stared at your feet.

“It’s okay to not be okay sweetheart. Why don’t you let Ino and Megumi take you home huh? Maybe you just need a couple days off to rest. My office is open anytime.” Gojo said playing with some of your long hair.

“I usually don’t agree with Satoru, but Ino and Fushiguro are the most responsible for this task. You clearly need some proper care and your friends are the best people to give that to you. Please, if you understand, just nod love. I know it’s hard to speak and right now it’s hard to understand, but having a scar is better than the latter of your options right now.” Nanami caressed your hands, kneeling in front of you.

You nodded, internally biting your lip.

“Megumi, you guys can head home. Text me when you’re safe.”

Megumi nodded.

At home the boys hopped into the shower with you, washing the stained blood off of your skin carefully.

“Not so hard Fushiguro. She still needs her skin.” Ino hissed at him.

“What do you think I’m doing Ino?” Megumi asked rolling his eyes as he washed your skin.

“Being an idiot.” Ino smirked

Megumi stopped all his motion in a sarcastic manner. It made a small smile and a short giggle come from your soft lips. They both froze in place, looking at eachother with wide eyes.

“D’you hear that?” Ino smirked.

“Little angel’s got her laugh back. There’s that pretty smile.” Megumi sighed in relief.

You leaned into their touch, relieved that you were home safe with them. As they showered off with you, everything that happened felt like a blur.

“Angel, you did such a great job today. Let us spoil you.” Ino suggested.

You nodded your head in agreement, but Megumi decided he wanted to start off. He roughly kissed you and felt you up. It was thrilling. He traveled down to your waist, but since you were all naked anyways, he decided to get right to work. He sucked on your clit roughly, small moans escaping your lips as he made out with your lower ones. “Be more careful out there with us.” He said pausing for a moment. You whined.

“I’m not giving you anymore until you say yes.” Megumi stated at you.

“Fushiguro- come on that’s just cruel!” Ino cried out as you removed his dick from your mouth.

“Yes-mmph” you moaned.

“Yes what?” He said kissing around your puffy clit.

You couldn’t take it anymore, you were about to cave.

“C’mon princess just let him have it. You know he wants it bad.” Ino smirked, grabbing your face.

“Yes daddy.” You sobbed as Megumi finally let you get close on his tongue. The noises were too much for you, too overstimulating as the two men stopped their pace so you could sink down onto Ino first.

“Nice work Fushiguro, you got her all nice and wet for us. There’s no way our precious Angel can’t take us both at the same time.” Ino smiled while caressing your face.

“Calm down Ino, you’re too riled up, you’re gonna end up hurting her.”

“Oh you’re one to talk skin scraper.”

“C’mon, knock it off.”

“You know she likes it a little rough. Why don’t we just give her what she wants?” Ino said.

“Are you stupid? We need to take our time. She’s hurt.” Megumi argued

“Megs- I can take it. I want it. If it hurts too bad I’ll use the safe word.” You pouted at him.

He sighed and both of the men positioned your hole over their throbbing cocks. Megumi was the one that had your legs in the air, so he let Ino slide into you first.

“Fuck- so wet for us baby.” Ino whined.

Ino helped position you up so you could take megumi’s swollen cock as well. The two men bounced you up and down on their hard lengths, making you a moaning whimpering mess.

“God- don’t squeeze me like that.” Megumi grunted between his teeth.

“You trying to make us cum early baby?” Ino smirked at you.

“N-no! Please just keep fucking me!” You screamed out.

They obliged, bouncing you up and down on their lengths, making you their own personal flashlight in that moment. You felt them throb inside you simultaneously.

“M’so close princess.” Megumi panted, biting your neck in places you didn’t even know could feel so good.

Ino’s lips and tongue traveled all over your breasts, latching onto your right nipple. He was careful, only nipping you once or twice. He couldn’t help it.

“God you’re so tight. Isn’t she Fushiguro? She’s perfect.” Ino praised you.

Megumi grabbed your hair, balling it up in his fist as he pulled your head back to him.

“You’re so tight, I think we might cum inside- is that oky with you princess? Do you wanna be filled up with our love?” Megumi groaned in your ear.

“Gah- yes please I want it all.” You screamed out.

The two men continued their pounding on your swollen pussy, you squirted and they came right after, panting hard. You were all filled up, they were all out of breath.

They pulled out and sandwiched you in between them again as they started your aftercare routine. It wasn’t often that you three were able to have moments like this. Even though you were hurt, you still wanted every bit of this with the two of them forever. They kissed your forehead, giving you sweet words and love even though you were falling asleep fast.

“We love you, princess.”

[jinkicake]

inappropriate affairs

Inappropriate places he likes to fuck you. 

Itto, Ayato, Thoma, Tighnari x Reader

A/N: I apologize in advance, this is not nearly as smutty as I wanted it to be. It takes me like 300 words to set up the scene and then I end up getting too lazy to finish it looooollllll,,, i’ll do better i promise (honestly this is not the first tighnari smut ive written.... i have an old draft from when he first came out where he chases you and then fucks you teehee)

WC - 2.3kish

SMUT // NSFW ((reader w a pussy))

~~~

Arataki Itto

“Itto, I swear to every archon that I will kick your ass.” Despite your threats, Itto continues to run his large hands along your sides. There’s a heavy grin spread across his lips as he cups your hip and brings you between his spread thighs. You tightly grip the bars of your cell but your strength is no match for an oni’s. 

Yes, a cell since Itto landed the two of you in jail again.

“Easy there,” He laughs loudly, shoulders shaking as his head tilts back against the stone wall of the empty establishment. Ushi moos loudly outside the window, no doubt spilling where every and any exit is to escape from. “don’t be mad at me, pretty-”

You forcefully slap his hand away, swatting at his wrist with a wave of anger that rivals the electricity cracking above from the clouds. 

“Ushi, go stay with Kuki.” You whisper yell through the open window covered with bars that you can’t fit through. The cow gives you a determined nod before wandering off to where the rest of the gang must be. You would also be there if Itto had kept his hands to himself. “We are here because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants, you understand that, right?” Itto nods eagerly and you can tell that he isn’t listening to a word you are saying. He’s staring intensely at you, more specifically at your arms crossed over your chest. If only the leader would have been staring at the officials in front of you instead of your ass then neither of you would have been caught and placed in this predicament. 

It’s hard to remain angry as you glare at your boyfriend, you have some sort of idea about what it’s like being distracted by obscene clothing. But, your shorts are nothing compared to his bare abdomen on display every single day. Even now, you find it difficult not to let your eyes drop to his defined muscles and the large tent forming in his pants. 

“If we fuck right now, you better stay quiet.” Just like all of your threats to the oni, this one went completely in one ear and out the either. 

“Archons, Itto, shut up!” You screech as the large man plows you from behind. Your grip on the iron bars of the cell starts to falter as his thick cock penetrates deep into your cunt. It’s a miracle that you can even stand up straight with the way your legs are shaking. Itto is in his own world as loud moans spill past his lips and ricochet off the walls. Like all things about him, Itto is loud (especially so during sex). His intense thrusts and fast pace causes the entire holding to shake and in the back of your mind, you fear that the whole place is going to come crumbling down. That would be one way to exit. 

“Can’t help it,” Itto grunts as his hands tighten on your hips, his head falls back as his balls slap against your ass. The sharp pain makes him wince and ultimately brings him more pleasure than before. “fuck, baby.” With how he is already groaning, you know Itto will cum soon. You don’t think about the consequences of it, not about how his cum is going to leak out of your cunt and dry between your thighs or how you’ll have to face public officials with his cum spilling down your legs.

You’re never going to get out of here. 

Kamisato Ayato

“I’m bored. Let me have my fun, darling,” Ayato will be the death of you, you’re sure of it. He’s impossibly stubborn and has a burning desire that only you can satisfy.

 But, you can only calm him down so many times per day.

“Your next meeting starts in twenty minutes, I am not trying this right now,” You snap and push away his wandering hands. It will take you at least ten minutes to get your kimono situated properly once again after the damage Ayato has currently done to it. He longs to touch your thighs, hold and squeeze the delicate sums of flesh.

“Thoma, bring in a blanket for the kotatsu.” Ayato in the end always gets what he desires. “It’s quite cold today, isn’t it?” His innocent smile doesn’t go over your head and you watch him with a stern glare as he innocently drinks from his cup.

Thoma greets the two of you with a warm smile and announces the arrival of whom you’ll be spending the next meeting with. The thick blanket is spread across the large table, covering your body from the waist down but Ayato makes no move to turn the heater on.

It comes as no surprise when you feel his touch on your ankle a handful of minutes later. The boring meeting has just begun and he’s starting off with innocent touches. You make it a point to ignore him and try to focus on the commissioner in front of you. Ayato’s gentle strokes of his fingers turn into sensual rubs, a touch that you know all too well. The pads of his fingertips are soft and the pressure is almost like a phantom touch that you would know even through the darkest nights. You know exactly what Ayato is touching in his mind and the innocent look he sends your way does little to calm you down.

You have to bite the inside of your cheek hard to hide the insult resting on your tongue. Ayato’s fingers continue their trip up your legs and between your thighs. When he finally gets to the soft flesh, he gently squeezes with his strong fingers. You know he wants to sigh in relief and react dramatically for the sake of amusing you. For once, you hand it to your husband for being able to remain so calm. 

He remains stoic the entire time he drags his finger between your folds, even when his middle digit flicks your clit back and forth just to see you squirm. You wish you could punch him. There is no way you can hide how you’re squirming and no amount of tightly pulling your thighs together can get him to stop. Every time you do something he doesn’t like, Ayato teasingly dips his finger into your entrance. He gives you a breath of relief before ripping it away to taunt you again. It’s a miracle you haven’t started to pant. 

You can’t focus on the meeting anymore or what the commissioner is saying. You try to ground yourself with your drink, to wet your throat but even that is impossible as Ayato brings another finger to rub your clit. The pads of two of his fingers cover much more than just one and your hips shift to grind back against them. 

“Commissioner, I’m terribly sorry to cut this meeting short but I just remembered I have something I have to finish,” Ayato announces and glances your way, letting your eyes meet as a smirk takes up his face.

Your husband is on you the second the door closes and signals the other man’s departure. 

Thoma

The Komori Tea House is surprisingly empty, today is a slow afternoon. You find that along with Thoma, you’re the only two people inside the house.

Even Taromaru is out and about, most likely doing something for the Kamisatos. 

It’s no surprise that you start to get handsy with your boyfriend after discovering this revelation. 

“We can’t!” Thoma whispers, quietly exclaiming his pleas while trying to push your hands away. “Not here, what if someone comes back?” There is some admiration in his restraint, it almost makes you a little envious. 

“Then we’ll stop when we hear them,” You breathe against his throat, lips ghosting over his collarbone. Thoma starts to squirm under your touch and nearly backs up against the wall. There’s an empty space in his lap with your name on it. “we can stop, can’t we, Thoma?” The housekeeper swallows dryly, he can’t guarantee that he could get his hands off of you once he finally starts to touch you. Not even Raiden herself could pull the two of you away from one another. “I know I could,”

The hand you had been teasing him with leaves his thigh to rest on his abdomen as you lean over in his lap. You bring yourself to your knees to level your faces and Thoma fears his heart might be beating out of his chest. He turns into nothing but a puddle of mush when you tease him too much. 

However, if you tease him just enough then his restraint will snap like a flimsy string. That’s exactly what you’re looking for today.

“Come on, Thoma,” Your murmur of his name becomes muffled with a kiss as you push your lips against his own, placing the softest amount of pressure. Beside you, Thoma’s hands turn into fists against the tatami floors and his shoulders begin to lightly shake. 

Through the kiss, he becomes much more responsive. Thoma starts to kiss you back with fervor, it’s an intensity that pushes you back against the floor with him crawling over top of you. One of his hands holds your wrist above your head while the other loosely grips your jaw. You don’t have any complaints, and if you did then Thoma would be sure to swallow them all. Your eyes roll to the back of your head at the cool feeling of his necklace against your throat. He licks you clean, inserting his tongue into your mouth for a messy kiss that makes you roll your hips up to meet his own. You gasp and whine once you feel his touch through his tight slacks.

“We’re doing this here?” He pulls away to clarify, panting against your lips as he lowers his body to completely cover your own. “You really want to take me here?” Thoma’s hands become just as seductive as your own once were, and trail up your sides to cup your breasts. His eyes darken at the sight held within his palms and the sweet smile you’re used to seeing on his face is covered with a serious stare. 

Oh, he’s going to fuck you so good.

In the empty Komori tea house, Thoma will have you screaming his name so loudly that anyone outside can hear. He’ll fuck you against the floor, the table, even the thin walls of the house. He knows you’ll be good for him the entire time since you were the one who started this. You have to take responsibility for what you’ve caused him to do. 

Tighnari

“Are we seriously doing this out here?” Anxiety floods throughout your body as you glance over your shoulder to look at Tighnari. The same Tighnari who is currently undressing you. His delicate hands roughly pull and tug at your jacket until the offending piece of clothing falls to the forest floor. “Tighnari,”

Despite your protests, the man continues his advanced work. 

“I don’t see anyone around, what’s the harm?” His snappy tone only ushers you to move faster with removing your shorts. 

“I’m leaving my shirt on,” You bite back and Tighnari rolls his eyes at the dramatics, purposely yanking on your shirt for emphasis. “really?” The grass underneath you is soft as your research partner pushes you on your back. Gently, he lowers you to the ground before situating himself between your thighs.

“Let’s just get this settled and then move on, okay?” His ears flatten on his head as blood pumps through his veins, he needs you so badly. It’s a miracle that his body hasn’t started to shake with the primal urge to fuck you (not that he can control it). “I’m eating you out first,”

“Are you kidding me?” You barely have the time to refuse, to spit all the curses that you have saved for him before Tighnari lowers himself between your thighs. “We don’t have time for this!” Despite your screeches and protests, he ignores you. Tighnari wholeheartedly ignores you as his mouth waters at the sight of your bare cunt. He can barely help himself.

His tail whips around before wrapping your your ankle, ultimately pulling your leg over his shoulder to keep you still in place. 

As much as he hates to admit it, there are some instances where Tighnari needs your help. There are instances where his hand just does not do what it is supposed to do and he craves the touch of his sweet partner. Being Tighnari’s personal cum bucket was not in your job description as fellow forest watcher but, you very quickly learned to love it. You have yet to understand his obsession with pleasuring you when it’s his own needs he should be satisfying but, you don’t really want to know his reasonings. If it has anything to do with the enamored way he looks at you while fucking your brains out, you want no part in it. 

“Archons,” You fist your hands in the grass at the feeling of his adamant tongue diving between your folds, his licks increase in intensity no matter how loud you get. In some way, you’re sure that Tighnari eats you out for himself. He enjoys himself too much while pleasuring you, his eyes shut and he looks to be in an utter state of bliss as he dips his tongue into your cunt. His moans rival your own, gentle and quiet in their own way but still loud enough that the sounds ring in your ears. 

On top of his head, his ears flick in content as you pull on his straight hair. It makes him act messier with you, sucking on your folds just for show before flicking your clit back and forth with his tongue. 

Tighnari wants you to cum, he needs you to cum just as badly as he needs to cum himself. 

His gloved hands keep your thighs spread apart so he can continue to work his touch against your clit, sucking and lathering the swollen bud with his spit before kissing it in a way that makes the pit of your stomach drop. 

The entire time, you ignore the word ‘mate’ that constantly drops from his lips.

[pedriscroquettes]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐘 – GAVI

warnings. p in v sex, public s3x (there’s no one around), jealous!gavi, & an annoying teammate

summary. academic rival!gavi makes sure you only have room for one nerd in your life

a/n. part two of comfort zone. tysm for the idea @gavisuntiedboot 🫶🏽

the sound of your professor’s voice filled the room as he explained your next assignment. you simultaneously put away your notes and listened carefully as this next project would be worth twenty percent of your grade. you were already laying out the details of your work as the professor continued to describe the assignment.

“there is one twist to this project. you’ll be working with a partner.” his words made you freeze. “and before you ask yes i will be choosing your partner for you.”

the room was filled with groans at his last comment, many of your classmates upset that they wouldn’t be working with their friends. meanwhile your eyes searched the room until they locked with a certain brunette. gavi had been looking forward to asking you to be his partner and now he was simply hoping the professor had decided to put you two together.

“mrs. y/l/n and mr. moretti you’ll be working together.” your professor says as he crushes gavi’s hopes and dreams.

franco moretti had arrived last semester from turin when his father took over as head of the marketing department for sevilla fc. he was also the teammate gavi despised the most due to them playing in the same position and because he would always insult him in words he didn’t understand. you scan the room to search for the argentine spotting him all the way at the end of the room looking at something else on his laptop. you sigh in frustration wondering if this project would be the reason your grade goes down.

as soon as class ends you make your way towards the blonde hoping to introduce yourself and get the project over with. he instantly notices you offering you one of his flirty smirks.

“bueno…” he starts. “we’re partners right?”

“uh, yeah. i just came to introduce myself-”

“i know who you are.” he interrupts you. “well i only know you’re like the smartest kid in our class.”

“i wouldn’t say that.” your cheeks heat up at his words.

“no need to be humble. your face along with his-” he points towards gavi. “is plastered all over the school. i’ve got to say i am very impressed by how you manage to do sports and somehow maintain your grades so high at the same time. but you probably just want to talk about our project.”

“uhm, thank you?” you can’t help but laugh at the interaction. “oh, yeah. i just wanted to ask if you have any certain topics you want to make our project about?”

“well i’ve got to get to practice in like five minutes or else coach will make me run five miles around the whole school. do you maybe want to meet up at the library later to discuss it? say around four?” he says as he packs up this things.

“yeah, that’s fine. i’ll see you there.” you smile awkwardly not sure if you should look forward to seeing him later or not.

you stay behind a couple of minutes going over some of your notes with the professor making sure you got everything right. you couldn’t afford to risk your spot in the rankings for a small error. grabbing your stuff you make way towards the library hoping to get some free time to study for your next psych exam before meeting up with franco. although, you don’t expect to find gavi waiting for you outside the door.

“he totally thinks you’re hot.” he simply blurts out.

“nice to see you too pablo.” you say sarcastically. “why are you blessing me with your presence today?”

“i bless you with my presence everyday.” he says as he begins following you to wherever it is you’re going. “so, you and franco…”

“me and franco aren’t even friends if that’s what you’re wondering.” you roll your eyes. “why do you even hate him so much?”

“i don’t hate him.” you simply stare at him. “okay maybe i do just a little but it’s reasonable.”

“you hate him because his dad works for sevilla and he’s slowly climbing up through the rankings. i’m not sure i would call that reasonable.” you say as you open the doors to the library. you’re grateful there’s barely anyone in there, you don’t enjoy being around large groups.

“whatever.” he huffs. “do you think he’s cute?”

you pause in your tracks turning towards gavi. the top button of his dress shirt unbuttoned and his red tie on the verge of coming loose. he looked quite good and a part of you just wanted to go home already.

“are you jealous pablito?” you tease him.

“me? jealous of a benchwarmer? please. not only am i better than him athletically but also academically. there’s no reason for me to be jealous.” he scoffs at the ridiculous idea.

“okay so you won’t have a problem with me studying with him later in here right? you totally didn’t follow me to the library just to make sure i didn’t find him attractive right?” you ask him as you press the button on the wall to get an elevator. you loved that each floor was dedicated to a different genre of books.

“why would i have a problem? i’m the only one making you cum anyways.” his words catch you off guard. you look around making sure no one else has heard him.

“pablo!” you hit his chest and you expect him to just laugh but he only stares at you. his eyes darker than before. he pulls you towards the end of the nonfiction section where there’s barely any light and a bunch of books that haven’t been read in years. how romantic.

“but maybe he’ll get lucky and you’ll spread your legs for him. give him a good view and everything.” he drags his hand to the middle of your legs opening up your legs.

you can feel his breath on your neck as he moves your hand from your thighs to your core teasing you. you completely forget where you are as he leaves love bites all over your neck. the pleasure intensifying as teases you by running his hands along your core but not getting them under your panties to touch you.

“and maybe he’ll hear those sinful noises you make as he drags his fingers along your folds.” you whine as pablo spreads your wetness around your folds with his fingers.

“but maybe you’ll be desperate to have him inside you to feel full again. so you’ll simply move these to the side.” he moves your panties to the side giving him full access to your dripping core. “and take him in you like the good girl you are.”

you help him undo his belt eager to have him fuck you already. his button down shirt losing some of its buttons in the process. the two of you so needy to finally come together like a puzzle to care about what happens next. he finally manages to pull out his hard aching dick out and he doesn’t waste another minute as he brings it to your needy hole.

“and then he’ll drag it along your folds teasing you even more. but after a couple of minutes he begins to insert himself until he fills you- oh fuck.” he groans as he enters you. “and your walls squeeze him as he pleasures you.”

“please pablo.” you beg him as one of your hands digs into his soft brown hair and the other into his shoulder at the feeling of his slow sensual thrusts.

“please what princess?” his voice sounds so out of breathe.

“faster please. fuck.” his length hits you in spots you didn’t know were possible. you can barely contain your moans and pablo simply hopes you get louder.

then you hear it the sound of the elevator doors opening for the end of the long hallway. you think you’re imagining it at first since pablo doesn’t notice it kissing you as he fucks you dumb. then you hear the loud footsteps and you panic they’re heading right towards the two of you.

“pablo. there’s someone here.” he can barely comprehend a word you’re saying as he watches how you take him so well. almost like your pussy was made just for him.

“pablo stop.” then he listens scared he crossed some boundaries and hurt you. he immediately steps away from you the two of you groaning at the loss of contact.

“fuck sorry. are you okay? did i-”

“no, you didn’t do anything wrong it’s okay. there’s someone here though. get dressed.” you say as you fix your hair and skirt.

meanwhile pablo isn’t so lucky and he can hardly button his pants when franco himself shows up. the argentine tries hardest to stop himself from laughing at his teammate but he barely can as he looks at pablo’s disheveled hair. although, you look perfectly fine so he tries to figure out why pablo looks so messy.

“bro you look like you got dressed in the dark what happened?” franco stifles a laugh.

“caught him getting frisky with one of the librarians.” you blurt out wanting to tease him.

“no way? but they’re all over thirty- oh don’t tell me you’re into milfs. kinky shit bro.” franco somehow believes your lie.

“fuck you.” gavi directs at you before being invaded by his teammate with more questions.

the next couple of minutes gavi tries his best to get his teammate to shut up and convince him that you were lying. that he simply had fallen asleep during class because he’d already studied the topic at home which was quite believable. the three of you chatted before gavi had to make his way towards the field to make up for missing practice earlier. although he spends all five miles grinning like a little shit because he’d be willing to run them all over again as long as it meant getting franco the furthest away from you. he was hoping you’d only have time for one academically gifted athlete.

[sebsrainbowbicycle]

Whats your opinion on the whole Christian Horner thing?

Let me preface this by saying, I have intentionally stayed away from this subject for many reasons, but given there was an outcome of the investigation today, and some of the information I’ve seen here throughout the past weeks, now is as good a time as any to respond to this ask I got weeks ago. This is not, nor will I be offering in the future, my opinion on whether Horner is guilty of the accusations or not. I just want to maybe provide context, and information from my experience and career thus far, that might help people understand, and also my opinion on the reaction from people. Caveat - I am not a lawyer, nor will I go into specifics of my current or previous job, however I worked in the legal profession where I worked on legal cases, reviewed evidence, and made submissions and recommendations that went in front of Judges.

Okay my thoughts. My thoughts are that an internal investigation that should have remained private for all parties involved, especially the alleged victim(s), was leaked and used as clickbait and gossip by the media and people on here and other social media sites. I think people decided guilt without having any genuine information, without seeing the evidence and without any credible sources. I think were the person being accused a different member of the paddock that the reaction would have been different. I think people used this to virtue signal and cry out about what good people they are. I think people that constantly say that the media and journalists shouldn’t be trusted, fed into a feeding frenzy that led to the name of the alleged victim(s) being published, which will undoubtedly impact them for the rest of their lives.

Onto specific things I have seen that I’d like to offer my take on:

Christian allegedly offering the victim a sum of money - First of all, for anyone who has a certain amount of wealth, especially those in the public eye, this is a usual occurrence. You try to avoid an investigation by any means possible, whether you’re innocent or guilty, because a) it’s easier and usually cheaper in the long run, b) pr and public image are damaged by even unfounded accusations and these things can run on for an extremely long time, and c) trial by media is a thing, and innocent people get tarnished for the rest of their lives because of something they were accused of. Now, I’m not saying any of those are why the offer was allegedly made, but those are some of the reasons. Companies do the same thing, when someone has an accident at work and hurts themselves, even if the company do not believe themselves to be at fault they will make a settlement offer, to avoid any legal back and forth. Settlements are not an admission of guilt, but a way to make something go away quickly.

Said money being why the investigation “went away” - I saw a quote that said “the grievance has been dismissed”, that means there was a finding, not that it was withdrawn. even so, this was a red bull investigation carried out by an external barrister. Once the company were made aware of the allegations, their investigation is independent of either party involved, so even if the alleged victim(s) withdrew their grievance, the company would still have a duty of care to ensure that any inappropriate behaviour or actions were identified, investigated and addressed. Most importantly, red bull want to protect themselves legally, and following the procedures and carrying out a thorough investigation, which would identify if they were potentially exposed to risk, is how they do that.

How can they ignore 100’s of pieces of evidence - We don’t know that they did. It was reported, but never confirmed that there was over 100 pieces of evidence submitted, so this is absolute hearsay. Further, I would be extremely surprised if the investigation ignored any piece of evidence, given the ramifications of an incorrect or improper investigation. Also I think it’s really important to say that evidence does not equal guilt or that one party to the proceedings is correct. Allow me to provide you with a personal example. I worked on a case where there was over 5000 pages of evidence submitted into a legal bundle. Approximately 4000 of those were from the appellant who argued that the other party had acted incorrectly. (forgive my vagueness here I’m not about to doxx myself). 4000 pages of evidence, which I reviewed and made a decision that I did not support their argument. The judge agreed with me also. Evidence can be subjective, and sometimes it can be completely irrelevant. The presence, and submission of evidence is to support one sides view of things, the other side will have their own, and both are examined and balanced and decisions made on that and sometimes also on other independent investigation.

The investigation is private and cannot be shared - This is law. GDPR in fact because this is occurring within Europe. I’m literally spending this entire week on a GDPR course, and have an exam on Friday, so I really don’t want to go on about legal basis and restrictions for sharing personal data, but let me tell you it’s for good reason, especially with investigations like this. All parties involved in this have a legal right to privacy, covered by the human rights act, and unless there is a compelling legal reason why their data should be shared, then it can’t be without their explicit consent. Simple as. And that’s disregarding that there will be confidential company information within the investigation that also cannot be shared.

Horner committed a crime - given that we do not know the specifics of what occurred we simply don’t have enough information to know this, HOWEVER, from the information I have read, and by the fact that I have not seen an indication that the police have been involved with this, nor are they carrying out their own investigation, I am working under the assumption that no law has been broken.

tl;dr - These are real people’s lives, we are not involved and we have no right to know anything. This isn’t salacious gossip, and it’s not a fun thing to band around and use as a stick to beat people with to prove how good we are. Processes and investigations like this should be private, and basing things on hearsay and unscrupulous reporters does more damage to any alleged victims than good. Having seen how fans and social media have treated this investigation, do you think that makes any other alleged victims want to come forwards? I think not. But that’s just me.

[lady-ashfade]

Silly Darling

—£ Yan!Izuku Midoriya x Gn!Reader x Yan!Ochako Uraraka.

—£ In this the reader is used as They/them. They also live in a apartment and work as a waiter/waitress.

—£ Warnings: Stalking, Killing, Knifes, Blood, Possessive, Obsession, Short stories.

Deku & Ochako already have a relationship, secret to the public, but they stayed together through it all. They were in a rough patch of the relationship with all the work loud, nothing was threatening the relationship but it was hard for them. Pro hero life was stressful and they were working their way to get somewhere.

Then they finally have free time a whole weekend to themselves and they decided to go out for dinner at a restaurant. This is where you come in, their darling waiter! How you smiled at they and welcome them when they came in. You treated them normally and not like a fan.

You were attractive, so much that they fell for you instantly. The kindness you showed them was making them go crazy that it started to bug them when you didn’t make a big deal. Are they not popular enough? Don’t you know who that are?

“Me and girlfriend here are just off hero patrol, it’s our night off.” Deku replied when you asked if it was a special night.

“Oh, that’s amazing.” You hummed and smiles at them, not giving them enough praise for their liking. “You must be hungry then, should we get started?”

Oh boy did they never forget you. The moment they got in the car they both started to talk about you.

“They were too perfect, I mean I love you deku. But they- I don’t know.” She played with her thumb nervously in her seat.

“I understand what you mean. They’re too kind for their own good.”

They start to come in more to see you often and they sit in your section. It was a way to see you close and have you talk to them.

And not just from watching you from a window or following you home. No, this was your attention. Way better.

Having two pro hero’s follow you around is more scary then you think. They have train in not being seen, how to find someone and have many connections. So it’s easy for them to find out every detail of your life. You’re first day of school pictures, who your friends are and family, and your ex’s.

You hated the feeling you got in your apartment. The feeling of constantly being watched and no matter how many times you checked around you couldn’t find anything.

After a few weeks they ask you out while they get ready to leave the restaurant. Making you flustered that both of them want you but you say yes and run away, after giving them your number.

They are always texting you. About your day or their’s, if something reminds them of you, where you’d like to go out next. After the first date it is hard to get away from them. Next thing you know, you’re in the a relationship with them out of the blue. Even if you felt hesitant about it they convinced you.

Then the yandere behavior really starts to take over.

They are aways near you. They are either staying at your place or you over at theirs. They also start to control your time out without them and even if they are working. You start to see less and less of your friends and get less calls from your family. And they try to talk you into quitting your job since they have money to take care of you.

“Don’t look so sad darling,” she twisted her hair and leaned on your body, “You have us and you need no one less!” She chirped happily as you cried over missing your family.

Then you are stuck. They made you get fired and now staying at their place and aways sabotage your job interviews. Making them your only hope in having money.

It wasn’t until you saw them beating up a man that hit on you at the grocery store in the alleyway. Blood drilling from his mouth as they continued to hurt his limp cold body, making it send a shiver down your spin and a ill feeling in your stomach.

“Guys?” You call out and clinch your chest and take a step back in fear.

They turn to you with blood on their face and glowing red eyes, “Baby, we told you to wait inside.” You swallowed to try and restore the dryness in your throat. “Tsk tsk, never do as you’re told.” Ochako pulls the knife from his corpse.

“You guys are sick! I thought you were heroes?” Screaming you tear up and grow angry. “We are through, I can’t believe I ever-” your breath hitches when wind blows on your skin and you see green lightning flash in front of your eyes. A hand wraps around your mouth, and breath hit the base of your neck.

“Don’t be like that love. We just do what’s best for you, this man was disgusting and touched what belonged to us. It’s only fair he pays the price,” his other hands wrap’s around your hips and his lips give you a soft kiss on the upper neck. “You’re our doll after all. The others had what was coming to them, and so did he.”

The others….There were more? How many people have they killed. How long have you been dating murders. You saw the flags before but you didn’t think they were this crazy for you. How in the hell could you get out of this?

“Silly baby, you disobeyed us. When we get home you’re going in time out, even more because you saw this.” She cupped your cheek as you stare fearful at the girl you once loved.

“Don’t be afraid, doll. We would never hurt you.”

[phefics]

congrats my darling!! you deserve it 🥺

🍪 could i request a nsfw alphabet with robin? 💖

𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐚’𝐬 𝟏𝐤 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 // omg tysm love, of course u can!!! i have answered a few of these questions about her so i just copy-n-pasted my previous answers for some xoxo

a: aftercare (what they’re like after sex) very cuddly, rambles a lot about how much fun it was and how hot you are, giggles at the messy sheets, and probably wants to stay up talking after.

b: body part (their favourite body part of theirs/their partner’s) to quote steve harrington, "you like boobies" ... robin likes boobies but also thighs.

c: cum (anything to do with cum basically) robin gets really wet, which she initially thought was a bad thing until you assure her that it's a really good thing.

d: dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs) the obvious answer would just be her liking girls but if you’re fucking her, you already know that, sooo i’d say its maybe her inexperience - robin prides herself on her intelligence and ability to get shit done regardless of her nerves, but admitting that she has never even kissed anyone is something she would be embarrassed to do, especially if she’s trying to impress you

e: experience (how experienced are they?) she is completely inexperienced, like, has never even kissed a girl before you!

f: favorite position (this goes without saying) robin likes to have you sit on her face, or to just lay between your thighs. if a strap is involved, she likes to fuck with whoever's being penetrated on top.

g: goofy (are they more serious/humorous?) tries to be serious but ends up giggling and being silly

h: hair (how well groomed are they are, etc.) robin isn't big on shaving but she does definitely keep herself trimmed.

i: intimacy (how they are during the moment) robin is giggly, talkative, and completely lovestruck.

j: jack off (masturbation headcanons) robin really doesn't masturbate?? she's inexperienced and a little behind when it comes to sexual awakenings - she figured out she was a lesbian like two years ago, ok?? and she doesn't really understand...how...and would probably need to read it in a book or have it demonstrated on her.

k: kink (one or more of their kinks) personally, i don’t see robin as super kinky, or at least, she’s not super experienced/informed and therefore wouldn’t know much about what she’s into. however, i can see her being into dom/sub dynamics (i think she’s more of a sub) and some of the more common things like edging and praise. i also think she has a tickle kink but that is just me projecting ajdkdjkdf...

l: location (favorite places to do it) robin would never risk getting caught in public, for many reasons, so her favorite place to do it is in bed - classic, comfortable, intimate, and safe from prying eyes

m: motivation (what turns them on, gets them going?) robin is turned on by just about everything you do, but she is motivated by the idea of pleasuring you, like, getting down on her knees to go down on you like a woman starved. she has a people-pleasing tendancy that definitely extends to the bedroom.

n: no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) robin doesn't like behind restrained or hurt in the bedroom, mostly because of the whole russian spy thing, but even without the added trauma, it just really isn't her thing.

o: oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) robin loves oral sex from both ends. she prefers it to fingering and before getting more sexually involved, i feel like she didn't really consider that straps were a thing and assumed oral was the best-case scenario.

p: pace (are they fast and rough/slow and sensual?) robin likes to take things slow. when she's nervous, her instinct is to be frenzied, so she prefers to calm herself and do everything slow to savor it.

q: quickie (their opinions on quickies) robin prefers to just have sex in a more typical, vanilla way. in bed, take things slow, lots of kisses...so nah, quickies aren't her thing.

r: risk (are they game to experiment?) robin is down to experiment with most things, but she prefers to stay in her comfort zone most of the time, since sex is still new and intimdating for her.

s: stamina (how many rounds can they go for/long do they last?) robin is able to go for a long time, and can have multiple orgasms like most vagina-owners can - she can keep at it for a while.

t: toy (do they own toys/use them? on a partner/themselves?) robin is rlly into toys!! she loves strap-ons, whether that’s being fucked by one or fucking someone else. vibrators are also great, she has a tiny one of her own that she masturbates with, but using it with a partner would unlock a whole new world of fun!!

u: unfair (how much they like to tease) robin isn't good at trying to be a tease, because she will likely give in before her partner, lol.

v: volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make) robin is loud and talks a lot, she can’t help it - it’s sometimes nervous rambling and sometimes mindless babbling from pleasure

w: wild card (a random headcanon) self-indulgent one here, apologies - robin is super ticklish and often will accidentally laugh and twitch during sex when you touch her too gently or in a senstive spot. luckily, that isn't a turn-off for her, it just flusters her, so if you didn't mind, it could be something fun to play with...

x: x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants) robin has a pretty bush, it's dark and doesn't match the curtains yknow?? her pussy is a dark pink and gets wet so easily, she's almost always glistening by the time her pants are off and you can spread her lips...

y: yearning (how high is their sex drive?) robin has been yearning for a relationship for so long, when she finally has it, she wants to fuck whenever humanly possible. it's not even that her sex drive is high, it's more like trying to make up for lost time.

z: zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) robin is pretty hyper and struggles to sleep most nights anyway, and sex doesn't really tire her out as much as it probably should, so she'll be down to stay up and hang out afterwards.

[catiuskaa]

shoot on sight [straight through my heart]

TROPE! enemies2lovers crack+smut?, inspired by a post in Pinterest I can’t find~! —angy noises—p.d. nvm: here it is -not angy noises-

and it’s also a way of making me post after Hannie’s n Lix’s birthday!! \(๑>◡<๑)/

PROMPT: “Take me to laser tag, push me against a corner, pin me to the wall and make out with me, then shoot me and walk away.”

WC: 5k.

CW: language, mentions of dacryphilia, mentions of spanking, bullshit n crack in almost every dialogue, alcohol, they’re both drunk but it’s ok, then I got carried away: mentions of public sex, use of pet names “sweetheart, kitten” (IK BUT SPARE ME, IT'S MINHO OK, I HAD TO), fingering (f), oral (f), hand kink?, panty stealing "borrowing". (I really NEED to touch some grass...)

Don’t forget to have fun, my loves!

[☆ ☆ 👾 ☆ ☆]

"Minho, there’s something we need to talk about," you mentioned almost in a whisper, being careful not to be eavesdropped by accident by the rest of the crew, who were too bothered choosing who would need to call for an Uber.

It was kind of a weird statement, the one a quiet yet mean part of your brain came up with as you stared at one of the guests at Han and Felix’s birthday party.

You’d denied it if asked, just for the sake of your shared friends, but the only thing you’d like there to be between Lee Minho and yourself was a dense, thick concrete wall. As dense as the man’s mind: you enjoyed lying to yourself and pretending that he couldn’t take a hint regarding your attitude towards each other.

But no. The disgustingly oh-so-attractive man who had been staring at you from afar as the group divided themselves on how to go to where Chan had booked —pfft, no, you were sure he was fully aware of the effect he had on you, making your blood feel like raging fire in your veins as his mocking set you aflame as fast as a matchstick.

“Oh, really?” He questioned with a smug smile, yet wrinkled brows in confusion.

“It’s their party, and I don’t want to ruin the fun for ‘em. So I think we should call for a recess. A truce.”

He blinked, the smile on his face losing intensity. You dragged your hand through your face, wondering what was so difficult for him not to understand.

“I mean no fighting. Just for today, if you feel like it’s that hard to not resent me and bicker out loud,” you said in a huff, pouting unconsciously.

His act dropped altogether, and he stared at you, puzzled. “Resent you?” He repeated, as if the sole idea of you and hate in the same sentence was pure madness.

You let out a dry chuckle, feeling your chest tightening. The least he could do was accept it, but he had the nerve to play dumb? Your shoulders tensed up, and you had to force yourself to stay calm, sighing quite loudly. God, maybe the night was going to be harder than planned.

“It’s obvious you don’t like me, but still, I think we could drop it for Han and Lix.” You mentioned roughly, noticing someone approaching you two, and quickly approached him further, setting a big smile on your face. He remained baffled, eyes lost somewhere you couldn't reach.

"Hate you? I-"

Han approached you two, a huge smile on his face. You smiled back, your hand travelling to Minho’s and giving it a big squeeze, as if signing peace for the day, ending the discussion and making him stop mid-sentence.

“C’mon, guys!” Han cheered, passing an arm around your shoulders, separating you from Minho and arriving with you to the parking lot.

Coming down the cars, the group followed Chan and Seungmin, who knew the place and had been there before.

“Welcome to Blackout Lazz! How can I help you guys?”

Chan mentioned the booking he had made, and when all was settled, everyone was instructed to enter a different room with a whole new vibe, purple lights reflecting neon designs that looked like graffiti in what resembled an abandoned urban location. The girl from the entrance explained that the group would have to be separated into two teams. Han and Felix decided they’d lead separately, then chose members.

Felix’s team was Chan, Seungmin, Jeongin, and you, whereas Han’s consisted of Minho, Changbin and Hyunjin. You laughed as Hyunjin complained about the extra member of your team.

“Deal with it, Jin!” You giggled, teasing, team Felix sitting on the other side of the room, who had large benches in a sort of staircase design, allowing everyone to have a seat.

“Don’t worry, Hyunjin, they need another member because they wouldn’t be able to compete with us if it was a fair fight.”

You tensed your jaw as you burnt holes in Minho’s neck, Han chuckling and high-fiving his friend.

What a bitch.

You noticed him looking at you from above his shoulder and winking at you.

boi-?!

“Okay! I’ll explain the game quickly just in case,” the employee from the desk smiled sheepishly, and you let out a sigh, trying to keep your anger for the game, hearing what the girl was saying.

In summary, everyone had three weak points: the chest, the back and the head. Each player started with three possible resets, meaning that after being shot on each weak point, they’d have another life, much like any game. The score worked depending on how many weak points you hit and how many players you could reset or eliminate. The back counted the least, then the chest and the most was the head because of how tricky it could be to aim.

Everyone started teasing and mocking the other group as another door opened, helping the team members to tie and put correctly the gear.

“Your gun will tell you how many lives you have left, and its light will turn red if you get shot at. To recharge bullets, aim down then press the button at the side.” She explained, passing a keycard over all of the guns, and turning them on. “If anything happens with the gear, this area will remain open and I’ll be here to reset your weapons or help you,” she explained, then hesitated before adding. “Refrain from practicing difficult stunts. Running is fine, but still, be careful,” she said in a huff, still smiling knowingly, and you all giggled lowly, as if she had ruined plans already made.

She passed said keycard over a panel, making another door open. Each gun turned a different colour, Lix’s team yellow and Han’s purple. They decided to play rock, paper, scissors to see which team could go in first.

“Hey there,” Minho whispered behind you, making you jump in your place, startled because of him, his voice, and how the fuck he could be so stealthy some time.

To you, it was always him.

You frowned, but before you could say anything, he smiled slyly. “Truce or not, it won’t make a difference to how I’m going to beat you today.”

You let out a dry cackle.

“Am I going to end up crying because of you? Maybe ending up getting spanked for losing?” You mocked, watching his shit-eating grin grow bigger on his face.

“Oh, most definitely,” he said, smug. “You’ll hate it.”

The mean laugh you let out confused him a bit. “Quite the contrary, honestly” you teased. “It adds to the kink list.”

You stared at the two birthday boys with a small yet naughty smile. It would have been more of a quote, rather than you couldn't pinpoint who had said it before, but a particular sentence suddenly floated its way into your mind.

If you keep shoving an animal into a cage, one of these days, it's going to fight back.

Having kept all to yourself, you were certainly going to use this as an opportunity to get your revenge and make Minho meet his doom.

Felix had won (as usual), and you smiled at Minho, showing off your middle finger as he stared at you with wide eyes, still assuming what you had said a minute ago. It certainly had to be the effect of the purple light and the smoke machine that worked just at the entrance of the playroom, but if you didn’t know better, you would’ve said he was blushing.

Nah. You shook your head sideways, scanning the area.

Several paths and entrances covered the place, some access to higher levels hidden behind walls and other different materials that contributed to the theme planned, toxic-appearing barrels laying around in a specific order, yellow do-not-cross tapes broken in some door to add to the eerie atmosphere. Smoke from different machines covered parts of the playroom, purple and white lights being the only illumination in every hallway.

“We need people upstairs,” Chan mentioned with a mischievous smile, known to be the pro at laser tag, running as fast as he did.

Felix nodded almost aggressively, the helmet being a bit big on him, making him look rather goofy. You giggled to yourself.

“Yeah. There are three levels." He said, almost to himself. "Maybe Innie and Chan Hyung could stay in this one, then…”

“Seungmin and I can take the third floor,” you said, almost dramatically, fist-bumping him, both smiling almost sadistically. “You guys can swap and buzz around first and second. Sounds ok?”

As everyone was happy, the team separated itself, each player looking for places to hide until the other team showed up.

“Minnie,” you called, stopping him from going further into the third floor. “You can stay close to this way up, and I’ll look for another one,” you offered, and he nodded, smiling widely.

“Let’s make them eat dirt!” You both celebrated, laughing, then separated again.

Sounds coming from the lower levels, loud steps and gunshots accompanied by screams and noisy laughs made their way up, not reverberating, but still loud enough to make you smile cheekily, already excited.

You kept looking for another way down, but then you heard a gunshot, and your back buzzed, your gun quickly glowing red.

You turned around, hearing a noisy, “YOOOHH BITCHES!” and couldn’t help but laugh loudly.

“Changbin, you traitor!” You shouted, running behind him. “I’ll sell my Dwaekki plushie on Ebay!”

You stopped the chase, panting. A thought came to mind that it had been suicide to play a running and reflexes-related game with people who lived for the gym and sports, or at least most of them.

Spotting Hyunjin, you smiled meanly when you shot him in the back.

“WHAT?!” He screamed, confused. "I DON'T GET THIS GAME!""

Your face was red from all the laughing and running, and your cheeks hurt from smiling. After a bit, you had shot Hyunjin around four times, Han three, and got your revenge on Changbin by getting his last shot and eliminating him. But you hadn’t been able to find the one person you wanted to fight against the most.

Your team wasn’t too much better than the rival. Chan stood firm, only having two shots left, but if you were correct, Lixxie was at one hit, and you and Seungmin were close to that, too. Jeongin was probably playing UNO with Changbin outside.

“Where is this bitch hiding?” You panted, running around before encountering Lix, whose face was red from all the exercise, his hair messily tied up. Now, as a duo, you scanned the second floor for the tenth time.

“Have you seen Minho?” You inquired, and let out a sly smile when he nodded.

“I heard him tell Han he’s almost out, but he’s using Hyunjin as a shield, so that’s that,” you both laughed, he stayed looking around as you layed on a wall, catching your breath.

All of a sudden, he let out a gasp, his gun glowing red.

“From the back?!” He groaned loudly, whispering insults as he tried to place who had shot his final.

“Man, you’re as bad as in League,” you mocked, wheezing, as he rolled his eyes with a smile.

“Say whatever, but if I’m out, you’re alone. Good luck with that fucking camper!”

You grinned, staying behind that wall, knowing that whoever had eliminated Felix couldn’t reach you from that angle.

Minutes passed in what felt like hours. Soon enough, you and Chan were the only ones left in team Felix, and Minho was the remaining soldier fighting for team Han.

“Let’s divide again, there’s only ten minutes left,” Chan said in a huff.

You started lazily running away, but then heard gunshots from behind, Chan’s laugh almost echoing in the playroom.

“Don’t let that cheater win!” He screamed before heading to the exit.

There were seven minutes left.

It was almost anxiety-threatening, roaming around each and every nook and cranny of the place, unable to find Minho.

A static-like sound came from several speakers on the walls.

“The remaining players will play in Blackout mode! Let it be a one-shot winner!” the voice said, sounding similar to the girl from the entrance. “No campers allowed, team Han!”

The white lights suddenly turned off, leaving you alone in a purple-illuminated space. You sucked air in from your teeth, your body tensing. That was good because now you could find him, but at the same time, it wasn't. Now, there was no chance of you knowing where or when he would strike, the light not actually doing anything except colouring the playroom.

You started walking around aimlessly, passing your hand through your hair in a nervous tick from time to time. Until you got to a dead-end.

It was a big room at the end of a hallway, close enough to the exit that you were sure Minho wouldn’t think about searching inside, spacious enough to hold different walls and obstacles to hide and take cover.

In your head, he should’ve been struggling for a while before finding you, letting you shoot easily at him the moment he’d find you.

Instead, a sudden presence approached you from behind. You felt his body pressed on yours, and before you could even aim or shoot, he quickly gripped the hand you held your gun with, separating it from him as he turned you around, now facing him.

There was no place for what or any insults you could’ve thought of as he sharply and decisively trapped your lips with his.

You let out a confused sound, his touch feeling almost abrasive as you had been sweating for what felt like days but had only been half an hour, the taste of his lips so weirdly enticing that even if you hadn’t moved, it strangely made you crave for more.

He stopped and backed away when he noticed you stayed still, but in a rushed impulse, you took him from the collar of his shirt with your free hand, the other one still under his, gun in hand, and pulled him back in.

You felt him smile in the kiss, pressing you a bit more against the wall behind you as it started growing more intense, deeper by every second. Your free hand laid on his chest, allowing you to notice his heart racing in a rhythm you didn't expect —but even if you didn’t know just yet, the reason for his racing heartbeat wasn't the whole 'shoot on sight” deal. It was you.

To him, it was always you.

You broke the kiss, trying to assume what had just happened. It felt impossible, yet it still made your insides churn and turn, and it had only been a kiss.

You had always secretly wished for a concrete wall between him and you, yet funnily enough, it sat behind you, allowing him to keep you in his arms, and you, not even thinking of pushing him away.

The air seemed to crackle with anticipation. The tension in the purple-lit room was palpable, like a storm about to break. His dark eyes locked with yours in a passionate gaze and then, with a sudden surge of longing, met you halfway, closing the gap.

Your mouths met, not in a gentle or hesitant manner, but with an almost reckless abandon. It was as if a fuse had been lit, and even if you still felt like a matchstick being turned on, this had a way different meaning in your head now. You could've sworn it had changed your brain chemistry.

The sensation was intense, like being caught in the midst of a raging wildfire. Tongues that danced in a wild, untamed rhythm, tasting the heat and desire that enveloped them, fueled by the rage, the adrenaline, the sudden desire that started to creep out from its cage. It was a kiss that left you both breathless, their hearts racing, and their bodies tingling with a shared, burning intensity.

Time seemed to stand still as you kissed, lost in the flames of the moment, until you pushed him slightly to catch some air.

His grip on you lost tension as he stayed still, almost panting.

“Players! There’s only one minute left!”

You bit your lip slightly, but right before you could react, he directed his gun towards your chest, and shot you.

You stared at him in disbelief, wide eyes and mouth shyly parted.

“That has got to be cheating.” You muttered.

He smiled slyly, aproaching you again, settling his free hand on the wall behind you, trapping you back.

He gave you a small peck.

“Pfft. Sue me, kitten.”

Walking towards the exit, he winked before dissapearing behind the walls, leaving.

[☆ ☆ 👾 ☆ ☆]

“How does it feel? The loss? The pain?” Han mentioned smugly as you came back from the toilet, now wearing a simple skirt and a top as Jisung cockily pranced around, as if he had been the one that had given you your last shot when of course, it had to be Minho.

Thinking about him made you bite your lip. He was nowhere to be found, and it was eating you from your insides. In the best way possible, of course, ‘cause thanks to him, the game had ended with you in a… particular situation.

You sat, and rubbed your thighs together, but still deadpanned at Jisung.

“Shut the fuck up, you were eliminated before we even reached 15 minutes. Game lastes 30. Let that sink in, birthday moron,” you smirked.

Laughing at his fake childish sadness, you tried to forget about what had happened in the playroom. How he had settled his thigh in between yours. How he had bit your lips, then softly passed his tongue over, almost soothing. How he had pushed you against the wall, caging you between it and his broad figure. How he…

“Hey, you ok?” Felix approached, a sheepish grin on his features, yet brows arched in what you then recognised as worry. “Your face is all red. Here, have some water.”

Just after he had mentioned it, you felt your cheeks hot, and acknowledged your warm state. You wished they hadn’t turned even more red when you blinked awkwardly at the realization, hoping to drown as you drinked from what he had handed you.

“Thanks, Lix. So… what’s the plan?”

“Mmhm… Jisung wants to go get drunk, his words, not mine,” he smiled. “His argument is that winners choose, and honestly, I can’t really argue about that,” his hand brushed his hair back as he laughed softly.

Everyone gathered in a resting space crowded with sofas, in the main area of the building, after Chan and Minho had called for an Uber.

That’s when you saw him again, and you had never imagined the thoughts that would instantly crawl their way to your mind —which was something, considering the wide range that your imagination could reach sometimes.

In that moment, it was as if the relization hit you, bluntly and unexpected, having been hidden and buried under piles of childish arguments and pride.

But god, after what had happened, you couldn’t help but accept your fate.

The man looked absolutely scrumptious.

“Do you mind?” He asked, getting close to you.

His lips, full and enticing, made you lick your own. You couldn’t help but think if its intense pinkish colour had always been like that or if it had been something more recent, something like yours on him, nibbing, kissing—

“Mmhm?” You pondered, still lost in your thoughts, not understanding.

“I want to sit, idiot.” He gestured to the small yet free space next to you, grin shining on his face. You blinked, cheeks further red, and scooched over the other side, making space for him.

You body tensed up when his hand grazed your leg. It was as if he had turned off a switch you didn’t know existed, making you unable to focus on anything else, the small chat that the group was having already forgotten.

He gave you a quick glance, as if checking if you looked uncomfortable, but you didn’t dare to say anything. Instead, when you felt like he was going to move his hand away, you rushed yours over it, shyly sliding it a bit further on your thigh.

He almost choked with his own saliva, quickly grunting and clearing his throat, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hey, Earth calling to Minho…?”

Both of you turned to face Changbin. He had a smirk on his face that lasted no longer than a blink, but you felt that maybe there was something you were not getting.

“You guys weren’t paying attention, so you’re stuck to go on Uber,” Seungmin said as he put his jacket on. “Han, Hyunjin, Chan, Changbin and me are taking the old man’s car.”

“Seungmin, that’s treason!”

“Fuck off!” He laughed, leaving.

The car ride had a special tension between Minho and you, again, sitting next to each other, his hand drawing patterns midlessly on your upper thigh that made you bite your lip the whole journey to the bar.

Getting off the vehicle, the cold night air hugged you tightly, the warm, fuzzy feeling inside you not leaving fully.

“Girl, c’mere! We’re doing shots!” Hyunjin took you by your arm, dragging you inside and close to the bartender, who served you your drinks with in an amazing speed.

Drink after drink, the dizziness in your body grew more intense. You chugged each glass hoping to make this new feeling of longing and desperation go away, but as you both stared at each other even when in opposites sides of the bar, the sensation took over your body as he eye-fucked you across the dance floor.

Hyunjin ditched you quickly, as drunk as he was, not really on purpose, rather just too into the music that the crowd separated you from him, but you were quickly surrounded by another body.

It wasn’t who you thought —or wished, much to what a much sober, small and confused part of your brain still struggled to grasp—, his touch not feeling as warm as back in the playroom.

This new guy smiled at you when you turned around, as if saying ‘hey, girl.’ Maybe he had even said it, but you hadn’t heard it due to the loud music blasting on the place.

Or because you stumbled and crashed against another hard and lean surface, one that sneakly settled a hand on your waist, moving you further against him.

“Mine,” he stated, and you didn’t know why but in that moment the sureness in his voice made you almost tremble —or however the fuck it was called, but with the amount of booze in your head, you didn’t care.

The guy frowned, but fortunately was quickly taken by another man, who smiled uncomfortably, leaving as he mumbled what sounded like scolding to his friend.

You laughed goofily at the sight, not noticing how Minho pulled you from your wrist until you had left the crowd and as he let you use him as a way of stabilizing yourself.

He couldn’t lie to himself, he had to be drunk too, maybe not as bad as you were, but he definetely was, or he wouldn’t have been able to pull of what had happened two minutes ago.

“It’s so hot in here…” you whined childishly. He guided you to the bathrooms —or what he guessed was the bathroom— and let you find your way towards the sink, as you splashed water on your face.

The main area of the bathroom was a shelf-like sink with a big mirror. Behind you and Minho, two different doors, one for men, and one for women, and to your left, the one for physically disabled people

“What was that in the dance floor?” He wondered, staring at you through the mirror.

You turned around, laying your weight on the sink, showing off a smirky grin. “Well, he showed up. And with you leaving me as horny as I feel, I think it is bound to happen that I may have some fun tonight.”

“With him? In that skirt?” He grunted, not really showing if he thought of the idea as something funny or stupid.

“I mean, you haven’t done too much to give me other options, no?”

In large but painfully slow steps, his hands laid next to your body, by your sides, leaning in so you’d be face to face.

“Really? I haven’t?” He murmured, eyes trailing from your eyes to your lips, licking his own. He let out a chuckle when you shook your head sideways. “What if… I offer myself as an option?”

You smiled, giggling, the alcohol not letting you fully control the emotions you chose to display.

“You’d like that, huh?” He teased, his breath smelling like a mix of drinks that you suddenly craved more than anything.

You hands traveled to the neck of his shirt. “Am I that transparent?”

The moment you pulled and met him half way, you never realized how hard it would be to stop.

His hands roamed over his favourite areas of your body, which seemed to be all of them. Uncontrolled sounds creeped out as his lips traced open-mouthed kisses on your neck, moving up to lick behind your earlobe. You felt your body weaken at the sensation of his lips.

"Did you enjoy it?"

His question, as well as the alcohol running down your blood, baffled you, not letting you understand. "W-What?"

"Leaving me so fucking hard, sweetheart. You owe me one."

Bitting your lip as his actions grew intense, you stared at him.

"I never asked you... to leave."

He chuckles, his breath tickling your neck.

"I'm not leaving now..."

"B-but this is just... revenge..." biting your lip harder didn't cover the sounds you were making, but Minho loved every one of them.

"Revenge?" You feel him smile on your skin, his hand lowering towards your ass, shamelessly gripping and fondling it under your skirt. You tremble in his arms. "That's a strong word... but no, I don't want that..."

You lick your lips, trying to soften them after biting too hard, feeling a small dent mark on them, knowing your lipstick has got to be everywhere except your lips— Minho's now coloured in the same soft cherry colour, looking glossy and pink and so goddam kissable.

"Then what do you want?"

His hands trailed mindless figures, marking a path to where you both knew you needed him the most, and you visibly shook when he graced his hand over it, softly stroking your inner thighs.

Okay, that was very clear.

Your mind flashes thoughts of you hating him, and a small part of you doesn't know why you're letting him touch you like this, but as his hand goes below your skirt and above and his fingers start moving softly over your underwear, you choose to make future you worry about the outcomes.

Tonight's main course is him and his beautiful hands torturing you with pleasure.

Minho groans slightly, and you could swear it's the best sound you've ever heard. "God, you feel so wet already..." You whine as he keeps a dreadfully slow pace, moving his hand in small circles, and his words only make the pleasure pool in your lower belly.

"Minho..." You moaned because not one of you cared if he just dragged you inside the bathroom to finger you when everyone was partying and dancing right next door.

He hummed, grinning, so close to you that you felt the alcohol breath surround you, almost as if you were drinking it yourself.

"Sweetheart."

His voice was not the cockily and irritating automatic voice you were used to when bickering and teasing. Instead, it was low, full of lust, and his breathing was so close to erratic that you almost laugh in disbelief. This wasn’t what you had planned for today. No, you would've never thought of this, but right now, there was nothing you'd rather be doing.

"Want me to put my fingers inside you? To make this pretty pussy mine? Yes? Use your words, kitten," he teases. “I know you can.”

You could feel every word, every syllable, all over your skin as goosebumps spread through your body.

You nodded eagerly and managed to mutter out a quiet "yes," and as soon as he started moving, you knew you wouldn’t last shit.

You were a mess, moaning and shaking uncontrollably, not sober enough to notice when he pulled your panties down just enough so he could start a full-on make-out with your "pretty pussy"— his words, not mine.

His face was buried deep between your thighs and half-hidden under your skirt, as his only free hand sank into your ass, squeezing it as he sucked your clit into his mouth in a way that made you forget not only left or right, but also up and down.

His pace increased as he coordinated his fingers with his tongue, and it was game over. if he hadn't been holding your body, you knew your legs wouldn't have supported you through it. You whimpered and moaned, not even getting to warn him as pleasure and heat flooded your entire body.

With a pleased smile on his face, Minho leaned back, removing his fingers from inside you, not flinching once as he locked his eyes with yours and sucked his fingers into his mouth.

Mind still in bliss, you let out a whine, back to biting your lip, taking his face in your hands and crashing your lips on his, tasting you on his tongue.

“Sweetheart," he whispered almost on your lips.

He bent again, giving a small tap on your ankles.

The black-laced fabric that had been covering you before was now deep inside his pocket.

"M-Minho...!"

He chuckled, fixing your hair in soft movements.

"Let's leave before I fuck you in a bathroom stall."

"But my panties—"

He placed a finger on your lips, shushing you with a smug smirk.

"Mine. Keepin' 'em for later. Now, c'mon, before you make me even crazier."

[hard hours]

[☆ ☆ 👾 ☆ ☆]

~Kats, who feels weirdly strange about writing smut, but also feels her liked posts, Wattpad and AO3 tabs plus actual physical books stare at her in disbelief.

happee birthdae to my favorite boys!! <3

[lesinquietes]

P-possessive Reiner smut for your consumption, kind patron? 🥺

Tw; domestic dubcon yandere smut // Yandere!Reiner x reader

—

“Hey sweetheart. I missed you today.”

Reiner is a kind boyfriend when you two are out and about. Your home life is calm, too. It consists of him going to work and you staying at home. The life of a warrior isn’t easy, so your duty is to ensure he can keep a peaceful mind on his off time.

Although initially intimidated, by now, you’ve fallen into your tasks. You cook. You clean. You do his laundry, washing his blood-stained and ripped clothes so he doesn’t have to relive his battles. And he appreciates the work you do. He likes coming home to a kept house. On occasion, he even helps you with the chores — if he’s not too exhausted.

“Hey… lemme help with those.”

When you find yourself with little to do, you sit by the window with a book. As soon as you moved in, he bought you a whole shelf full of them. He likes it when you exercise your brain. Being cooped up all the time can’t be good for you. He wishes that he could let you out for a bit of fresh air — that he could trust you to be safe on your own. He can’t, though; not with the state of Marley. Your existence here is tranquil, especially when compared to the lives of others Eldians. He wants to keep you protected.

But that’s the downside of Reiner. He’s too goddamn possessive. You grew up in Marley all your life. You were good and keeping your head down and hovering beneath the radar. Since Reiner took you as his, you understand there are more challenges to your survival. There are people here who want to hurt your boyfriend and his colleagues; you’re positive they would harm you to get to him if they had to. You don’t think that doesn’t mean you should have to compromise your way of being.

“Please don’t be upset with me, baby. I’m doing this for you — for us. I couldn’t keep living if something happened to you.”

The hulking blonde does take you out of the house on occasion. It’s usually when you’ve cried and begged for long enough, or dropped the “u” word — unhappy. He gets frantic when he hears that. He knows you don’t have the capacity to leave; nonetheless, he doesn’t want you to feel forced to be with him, either. He wants your organic love, even though it was never natural to begin with. You two were newly acquainted when the government announced his request and had you move in.

When he brings you into the public sphere, people understandably stare. It’s not necessarily because they’re attracted to you; it could also be due to you being a novelty appearance. Unfortunately, he doesn’t see it like that. He inevitably sees it as others trying to steal what’s his.

“Keep close to me. Less stares that way. And don’t leave my arm. I don’t trust those fuckers by the store.”

Everyone is a threat to his happiness. He’s never at ease. He’s constantly on edge from having to defend you from opponents that don’t exist. You feel his fist tighten around your smaller hand when he stops to chat with a colleague and they gawk at you for a bit too long. Porco is a fine example of this. You suppose he only does it to get under Reiner’s skin, but he tends to make you uncomfortable with his prying eyes, too. The blonde actively tries to avoid the shorter male when he brings you around these days.

And no matter how many times you tell your possessive boyfriend that you’re not a trophy to be won, or goods to be accumulated, he reacts the same way.

“You know I don’t mean it like that, sweetheart. You’re just so fucking special to me.”

That’s why he fucks you so hard when you two get home, pent up and frustrated that people have the audacity to ogle his piece of heaven. He’s a soldier, for fuck’s safe; he puts his life on the line for these bastards, and they dare trace their hungry glares up and down your figure. He wants to teach them a thing or two, and he fucking hates it. He shouldn’t be so brazen with his protectiveness — you shouldn’t make him want to maim everyone who looks at you.

His teeth sink into your flesh, leaving marks on your neck, shoulders, and breasts. It doesn’t matter how light or dark your skin is, he finds a way to leave the deepest, darkest blemishes on your body. Subtle, perhaps; but not to those exploring what you have to offer. The next time he takes you out, he’ll make you wear outfits that show them off. With his arm around your waist, keeping you glued firmly to his side, there’s no room for ambiguity. You’re very much his, and that will never change.

“Want you forever honey… oh fuck… wanna stay inside you forever.”

You claw his back as he slides deeper into your hole. He doesn’t slow his pace. He doesn’t retreat to a shallower length. He continues to pound you until you’re begging him to have mercy. And he does; he does! It just takes him a moment to process what you said.

He doesn’t intend to harm you, he merely gets lost in his mind sometimes, when he’s super stressed. You understand, right? Of course you do. He kisses and licks on you until it makes sense, until you recognize that he loves you, until you know — without a shadow of a doubt — how much you mean to him. Even if you had concerns prior to him making you cum, you don’t after.

[sweetprfct]

Clandestine Meetings

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: How big is your empathy for someone you love? When do you know when enough is enough?

Author's Note: This hurts soo... good luck! Inspired by Illicit Affairs and You're Losing Me by Taylor.

Wordcount: 3.2K

The rain poured heavily down the city of San Francisco as you fluttered your eyes open and watched every raindrop slide down the glass window in front of you. The city lights burned brightly outside with the sound of the rain pitter pattering.

One year. 

One year since you have been doing this. You knew damn well that this was illicit. You both have talked about this. You knew damn well that this was something that everyone would disagree on because you were nothing but just a normal girl from San Francisco. You weren’t known for anything else. You weren’t special, but he chose you. He chose to be with you. 

You two had met one year ago at a bar when you had gotten yourself a bit too drunk after a long day at work, and he had come and talked to you. At that time, he was also in town to film a movie. For some reason, you had caught his attention. Ever since then, you two had been seeing each other. You would facetime each other when he was back in London. He would secretly visit you in San Francisco whenever he had time. It worked. It worked really well. Though, no one else knew about it. Not even your friends nor anyone close to you. It was just the two of you. You both agreed to keep this a secret because he didn’t want everyone else dipping their opinions on the relationship nor wanted his team to ask several questions because then, they’d start having ideas of how this could be publicized, and he didn’t want that. 

You understood his decision. You supported his decision because you thought no matter what, you were important to him. That he cared for you and the reason why it was kept a secret was because he didn’t want to hurt you nor disturb your life in so many awful ways by the public. So, you agreed. But how far would you go? How do you know if enough is enough?

“Hey.” He whispered softly, planting a soft kiss on your bare shoulder. He wrapped an arm around your torso, pulling you close to him as he buried his face on the back of your neck, smelling your flowery scent.

“Joe.” You murmured. “I have to go.”

He hummed softly, his arm tightening around you. “Hm… no. Please stay.”

You couldn’t help but smile and slowly turned yourself around to face him. Your index finger poking the tip of his nose softly.

“You know I have to. We don’t want to get caught by Alex tomorrow morning, remember?” 

Alex was Joe’s manager, and he was coming to stop by Joe’s hotel room tomorrow morning to drop off some paperwork for him and talk about his next schedule after the movie. Usually, you would sneak out of the hotel room early in the morning but not this time. You didn’t want Alex to catch you just in case he’s coming in early. 

“Few more minutes.” Joe whispered, pulling you close to him as you buried your face on his neck.

You could never get tired of his minty fresh scent, and you had spent so much time with him that sometimes, your clothes were starting to smell like him or his scent would still linger on you when you arrived home. 

“You know you’d miss me when I go back to London.” Joe said, his fingers gently brushing your hair, and it made you feel safe and warm in his arms.

“You don’t have to go, you know.” You replied. 

You had told him that about a thousand times, but Joe loved his hometown, and he couldn’t just leave London just like that. You tried understanding that too because you knew it was hard for him to change his whole life and move to a different country with unfamiliar cultures that he wasn’t so used to. 

Joe didn’t say anything as he set his index finger on your chin, lifting your face up, looking into your eyes before giving you a small smile. His lips touched yours softly as you kissed him back. You didn’t know what it was when it came to him, but you tend to get lost in his touch and every kiss that he gave to you made you want to just melt yourself in his arms completely. 

“It’s raining, darling.” Joe made an excuse when you pulled away and swung your legs over the bed, letting your feet touch the cold wooden floors.

“You’re mental if you think I’m going to let you go out there in the rain.”

“Joe, I’m fine. I’m used to this weather.” You stated, slipping on your clothes. 

“I know.” Joe followed right behind you, slipping on his boxers before sliding his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind and planting repeated soft kisses on your cheek. 

“Joe!” You laughed as he continued to give you kisses all over your cheek and down your jawline and into your neck. “You always make it so hard for me to leave!”

“That’s the point, innit?” He laughed, letting go of you as you turned to face him, setting your arms around his neck.

“I’ll come back tomorrow night, I promise.” You grinned, leaning in to give him a chaste kiss.

“Alright, alright.” Joe sighed. “I’ll let you go if… you give me one more kiss.”

You laughed, poking both of his cheeks with your index fingers before sliding your fingers through his curly brown hair. You stared into his eyes for a moment before leaning in to kiss him deeply. Joe smiled through the kiss as he picked you up from the floor and twirled you around the air, letting out a squeal from you. 

Hood up and face down was what you told yourself as soon as you walked out of the hotel building later that night. Umbrella up as soon as you walked out under the rain and down the hilly streets of San Francisco. Your apartment building wasn’t too far to walk to, so you decided not to take the bus. As soon as you entered your apartment building, you shook off the rain droplets from your umbrella and coat and headed up to your place. 

“Shit.” You cursed under your breath as soon as you heard your phone rang and saw your co-worker’s caller ID. You hesitated for a moment before answering the phone call.

“Hey!” You answered with a cheerful voice.

“Where are you? I thought you’re coming.”

You gently slapped your forehead with your palm and scrunched up your face, trying to figure out an excuse as to why you have missed hanging out with them for the fourth time already.

“Yeah, I’m so sorry. Something came up and my sister needed help moving some stuff in her place. You know how she just moved in.” 

You were the worst liar ever because you have made the sister excuse for the third time already.

“Well, we really missed you. We haven’t seen you in a while, especially when you started working from home.” Your co-worker replied.

“I know. I’m so sorry, I’ll make it up to you all next time.” 

And just like that, they believed that excuse again, but you doubt they actually believed it because you had told them the same excuse over and over again. 

You know you wouldn’t. 

Entering your place, you freshened up and immediately slipped yourself under the comforts of your own bed. The thought of Joe had appeared in your mind as you stared into the ceiling. You knew that your situation was hard, but you had fallen hard for him. He had made you the happiest in a long time, and you would do anything just to be with him. If that meant by enduring the hidden clandestine meetings in his hotel room or his little midnight visits in your apartment, you’d do it. You’d do anything because you were deep in this already, and you knew he wanted you too.

But the question kept repeating in your mind. How far would you go for him? How far until enough is enough? 

The next morning, you had received a message from Joe saying that he couldn’t see you because he was running a little late from filming and so, you understood the situation again. The day after that, he had some kind of convention to attend, so there was no show of him in your place again. You understood the situation again. Then, news broke out about him dating a certain Hollywood starlet and that pulled your heartstrings a little too hard that you had found yourself up in his hotel room, waiting for him to finish his night filming. You waited for him until 2am until he arrived in his room, stunned to find you in his bed. 

“Hey.” Joe furrowed his brows. “What are you doing here?”

“Is this true?” You held up your phone with the article on the screen.

“Baby.” Joe started.

“No, don’t call me baby.” You argued. “Just answer my question.”

“No, of course not!” He replied, walking towards you and sat at the edge of the bed across from you. He held your hands, his eyes staring right into yours. “You know how I feel about you. This is all just some kind of PR that Alex decided on.”

You looked into his eyes, trying to find the truth in them. You believed him. You really did. You saw it in his eyes that he was telling the truth and that made you relax a bit as you exhaled a sharp breath. 

“I love you.” Joe said sternly.

Those three little words took you aback because it was the first time that he had said those words to you. You knew right then and there that he was telling you the truth.

“Y…You do?” 

“Yes.” Joe smiled. “I love you. I love you so much that I can’t even explain how you make me feel whenever you’re here with me.”

“I love you too.” You smiled as he pulled you into a deep, passionate kiss. His fingers tangling in your hair as you smiled through the kiss and gently pushed him down on the bed, towering over him. 

You pushed his hips down as you continued to kiss him, while he tugged on your hair a little bit, letting you escape a soft moan from your lips. He quickly turned you around so you were laying under him as he towered over you this time, letting his lips touch and burn every inch of your soft butterfly skin. Your head spun just like the way it always did whenever he kissed you. Your body shook just like the way he always made you feel whenever you felt himself inside of you. Your hazy eyes stared into his as he paused for a moment and gave you a smile. You were so in love with him and god, look how much of a mess he had made of you, but you didn’t care. For him, you’d do anything. 

Burying your face on his chest that night, both of you still breathless and panting from the way you two had touched each other, you didn’t even realize that the next few weeks were going to be hell for you. 

One year.

One year of understanding. One year and you both had fallen for each other deep but how come in that heavenly year, you didn’t expect that hell was coming? Because for the next two weeks, you didn’t see Joe. Although, you have seen him in articles with her. He had told you that this was only for publicity, but you were starting to feel different about it. You weren’t comfortable, but you understood because he loves you and this was only part of his job. But how big was your patience? How big was your empathy because the more he was busier, the more you were seeing him less, it was starting to tug on your heartstrings a bit too hard. A bit too painful. 

It pulled your heartstrings when you arrived in the hotel lobby one night and an unfamiliar voice called your name. You turned around and saw Alex waiting for you in the lobby.

Uh oh. He knows.

“I knew it.” Alex scoffed, walking towards you.

You pulled your hood down and stood there frozen. You weren’t too sure what to say or do exactly. You and Joe didn’t talk about this. 

“So, you’re the reason why Joe would disappear from our sight all of a sudden or when he tells us he’d be at the bar down the street when he was really with you.” Alex stated. 

He looked furious, and you swallowed every bit of fear that was running inside of you right now. You weren’t too sure what to do in this situation, and you didn’t want to fuck it up by saying something that you might regret later.

“Alex.” You heard the elevator doors open and saw Joe walk out of it. “What are you doing?”

“We already know about her, Joe. Don’t try to cover it up.” Alex retorted back.

Do something. Say something, Joe.

“Alex, what are you talking about?” Joe furrowed his brows.

Lose something, risk something.

“We’re just friends.” Joe stated.

That stung. 

You didn’t say one word because you didn’t want to get in the conversation that wasn’t meant for you to be in it, but those words stung. One year of this relationship, and Joe was weak. He couldn’t even defend you in front of his manager. How would he defend you if one day, you were caught in public together? How far and how long were you two going to be like this? Will Joe ever one day risk something just for you? He said he loved you, but did he really? You watched as Joe explained to Alex that you two met at a bar, and you have been there for him whenever he needed a friend, and you didn’t want to stand there anymore. You didn’t want to listen anymore because every word he said shattered every piece of you, and you weren’t too sure if you were able to piece yourself back together again after this. 

As soon as Alex had believed him, Joe took you upstairs. You didn’t say one word to him in the elevator nor when you two walked down the hall. Your mind, however, was running a thousand thoughts. Your heart was beating so fast, and you just wanted to scream. Your face was starting to go gray, and you felt like you were going to throw up. The air between you two was thick, and you knew damn well how much it changed the moment he said those words. When you entered his room, your heart had stopped beating for him. He was slowly losing you. You were slowly fading from him, and Joe didn’t even realize it, didn’t he? 

“Hey, I’m so sorry about that.” Joe took your hands in his, but you were numb. You weren’t there anymore. 

Stop.

“Are you alright?” Joe asked, tilting his head at you. “I’m sorry I had to say that. You know how complicated it is.”

Stop.

He was losing you.

Stop.

You couldn’t find a pulse. Your heart had stopped beating.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You vomited the words. 

Joe stood frozen in front of you, and you could see the hurt in his eyes. Joe loves you, but he didn’t love you enough for him to learn how to fight for you. 

“I… I don’t understand.” Joe murmured. 

“How long, Joe?” Your eyes welled up with tears. “How long are we going to be like this? Until there’s nothing left in me anymore?”

“What?” Joe was confused. “No, of course not.”

“I gave you everything. I gave you myself, my patience and every bit of empathy that I have. I gave everything to you.” You argued, tears rolling down your cheeks now. “Even when it gets hard sometimes. I understood you because you said you love me.”

“I love you. I mean that. Things are just complicated right now, and I never want to hurt you like this.” Joe explained, taking one step closer to you.

But every step forward he took, you took a step back. Every word he said, you felt yourself and your soul faded with it. You have been trying to stay strong about this. You have been trying to be so patient, but for how long? 

“Then choose something!” You exclaimed, “Risk something for me for once!” 

Silence.

You shook your head. You knew what that silence meant. 

“I got nothing, Joe.” You murmured, wiping your tears away. “I can’t believe your words unless you also show it to me.”

You stood there and watched him sit at the edge of the bed. His head hung low, and he was shaking his head. No words slipped out of his lips and that made it even more painful because even with just the two of you, he couldn’t even fight for you. He couldn’t even lose something for you. He couldn’t choose you. 

“Goodbye, Joe.” You shook your head and turned to walk out the door. 

“Wait!” Joe immediately got up from the bed and stopped you. 

He wrapped his arms around you, hugging you from behind so tight that he didn’t want to let go of you just yet.

“I’m sorry, please.” Joe murmured. “Please don’t go. Don’t give up on me just yet.”

You could feel his tears on your skin, but you already had faded away. 

“Then choose something, Joe!” You cried out, pulling his arms away from you.

You knew damn well that this was going to break you, but you still risked it. But how far is enough? How long were you going to be an idiotic mess for him? 

“I love you so much.” Joe turned you around to face him, cupping your face and wiping the tears that won’t stop rolling down your cheeks. 

“How can you say that when I’m slowly dying over here?” 

Joe shook his head, “You’re not. You’re not going to because I will risk everything or lose everything. Just not you, please.” 

You stared into his chocolate button eyes. You saw the truth in his eyes. One year together, and you knew you could always see the genuine truth through his eyes, so you believed him. 

“I will talk to Alex first thing in the morning. I will tell him everything.” He caressed your cheek softly with his thumb. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t realize how much shit you have endured because of me. Most of all, I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner until you were slowly losing from me.”

You nodded your head, sniffing as you wrapped your arms around his neck and embraced him in a tight hug. “Thank you.” You whispered.

“I’ll lose everything before I could lose you.” He whispered, pulling away. 

He kissed you softly and showed every bit of his love into that kiss, making sure that you knew how much he meant to you. Joe made sure that he showed every bit of his love for you in that kiss, and you knew. You knew he meant what he said. 

And he knew that for him, you had ruined yourself a million little times, and he would never let you do that ever again. 

The End.

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @bylermaxmayfield @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @capricornrisingsstuff @missonlypost @ali-in-w0nderland @amberolivia666 @lalalala-melmosworld @niallersfreckles @nanas-lasagna @emma77645 @indulgence-be-thy-name 

[jumping-joey1104]

EJ HCs with s/o that works as a mortician ⚰️ plz? Don’t have to if ya don’t wanna. EJ is amazing and my fav since I was like 11!!

Ooooh! Hehehehe 😎

Eyeless Jack with Mortician S/O

I’ll be honest, he doesn’t know how to react. He was a completely normal human before… everything. Even then he couldn’t really understand the fascination with dead.

He’s a messy eater but he doesn’t play with his food, that’s rude.

Also this made me go on a whole hyperfixation on morticians so thank you for that. I have learned.

Ok, I’d like to think that you’ll first meet Jack when he breaks into the morgue. He doesn’t exactly understand the embalming process so he thinks that there’ll be a biohazard area where morticians such as you would put the intestines into.

Imagine the disappointment when he finds out this doesn’t happen, now he’s stuck in a morgue with half frozen bodies and the silent alarm going off.

Luckily for him you’re just getting to clock in, looking around to find the intruder. The place is quiet like usual, being a morgue there's always an eerie feeling. But something is different this time, you have a feeling you're not alone.

You try to push off the uneasy feeling and blame it on the normal excuses. The bodies less than ten feet away from you, the smell of embalming fluid and candles, even the crucifix affixed above the doors. Maybe that's where the feeling of being watched is coming from. Turning around would make you see the wooden sculpture staring at you, with disappointment or pride you'll never know and to be honest… or wouldn't care.

When you wheel out one of the newer cadavers and read his file you still feel that stare, this time blaming it on the body on the table. You think you would've gotten used to this but apparently not yet.

That is until you hear a click, like someone smacking their teeth. It makes you freeze and look around but you couldn't see the source of the sound. Until you look towards the closet door opened just a crack. That's where the staring is coming from.

You don't know whether or not you need to call the police, you did turn off the alarm and that was the first mistake you made. Suddenly being put into a horror movie as a pale grey hand snakes around the edge of the door with what seems like claws to be at the end. If you had any thoughts of running it's quickly snuffed as its clear that you’re not dealing with a human.

But the being doesn't reveal himself, instead only his hand stays holding onto the door as if to prevent you from opening it. He's trapped just like you are, another click coming from him as the sound of a stomach growling comes from the closet.

He's hungry, and his hand is reaching toward the counter next to the closet…

If you were scared before it's starting to dwindle as he blindly tries to grab at a notebook and pen on the counter. Knocking over things like a clutz before grabbing the counter. He still thinks you're working on the body, being blind, and the smell of formaldehyde makes it hard to track you.

He pulls the notebook into the closet for a few seconds before setting it back on the counter with writing on it. The writing is horrible and you can barely make out the words but it seems like a bad threat. Asking for organs or he’ll kill you.

And that's how it all starts.

He sneaks to your work while your clocked in now, not wanting to get caught like the first night. Despite the threat of loosing your job you sneak the unimportant organs from the cadavers to him and in exchange you gain a protector.

It takes weeks before he talks to you and even longer till he shows himself, it's scary at first but he still has that flair of humanity that makes you warm up to him. The fact that you're not scared of him makes him feel safer around you.

It's a morbid balance but neither of you cares, you're relationship becomes 50/50. He cares for you and protects you and you feed him and keep him hidden from the public eye.

[imrllytootiredforthis]

VACATION SEX!!!!!! Specifically thinking about either beomgyu or lix for this one idk why they are so cute and would just be so easy to fluster

Like spending the whole day at the hotel pool or waterpark subtly teasing him, eyeing him up in his swimsuit without even hiding it just to see him blush, grabbing his ass when he walks in front of you, “accidentally” grinding up against him in the wave pool bc the water was just too rough before suddenly deciding you want to go tan as he begs to stay in the water a bit longer so he can calm down bc poor baby gets hard from the smallest touches. but of course you drag him out anyway as he pretends he doesn’t like the embarrassment of having to walk in front of everyone with a boner. & sitting him down on the towel to rub sunscreen on his chest and back, paying extra attention to his nipples as he whines that you guys are in public and anybody could see, even though he pushes his chest out into your hands for more (tsk tsk again with the pretending to hate the embarrassment) and also pretending to fumble with the sunscreen and dropping it on the opposite side so you have to lean over him to get it, putting your hand right by his throat for leverage and practically shoving your chest in his face as he whines harder

AND THEN FINALLYYY after a long day of him having to endure all the torturous touches and you making up excuses to stay at the pool longer because it’s funny to see him lose it, you bring him back to the room. and he is already desperate and pliant just waiting to be thrown around and used as your little doll. he’s sitting patiently on the bed as you lock the door and put up the do not disturb sign before turning to him and shoving him down onto the bed, climbing onto his lap and grinding against him like how he’s been waiting for all day. bonus points for a sloppy kissing session with his arms pinned by his head as he can hardly reciprocate bc he’s moaning so much and begging as he thrusts up into your bathing suit, asking in the sweetest voice “please please take it off, touch me, just do anything!” and how can you resist your sweet boy who’s been so patient even though he’s been waiting so long?

and round 2 in the shower afterwards bc you can’t go to bed soaked in that chlorine water… but i had this epiphany while i was scrolling through pinterest and had to tell you. anyway i see that you’re having another busy week, remember to take breaks and relax if things get too overwhelming!! also don’t forget to eat and drink water:) nothing is more important than your mental and physical health

-🎀

thank you so much<3, i'm actually gonna take a break over the weekend so everything i post is queued and i'm just going to relax for the holidays and recharge after everything that's been going on!

honestly, thank you for caring, it feels really good to have people understanding that it takes quite a bit out of my time and is also mentally as well as physically draining,

but anyway,

going on a vacation with lixie, holy fuck, the sunscreen visual you gave me was the best fucking thing in the world,

teasing him all while under the guise of simply keeping the poor baby's skin safe from the sun, brushing over his nipples, smirking as he whines about being and public, begging you to stop all while he keeps pushing his chest further into your touch and you really can’t help but notice the way he’s subtly pressing himself against your knee

whispering to him about how he’s a dirty boy, wanting to get off on your thigh in front of all these people, the little perv

he tries his very hardest not to moan from that, his lip pulled between his teeth, tiny hands fisted at his sides to keep from touching your when you ‘accidentally’ drop the lotion bottle, leaning over his body to retrieve it

after you notice how red your baby is, brushing your fingers over his freckles with a slight frown, cooing about how he’s gotten burnt all while you know damn well the effects you’re having on him. He nods along sullenly, giving his best puppy eyes and you decide to be merciful, saying you should go back to the room now so he doesn’t get more burnt

that do not disturb sign getting put to good use but he only blushes as you put it up, imagining about fifty different positions he wishes you would fuck him in right about now

he’s just so needy when you finally touch him, whining and pawing at your body, lips latching onto your skin wherever they can find purchase.

so sensitive and so worked up, moaning when you finally begin to grind down on him. he swears he can see stars, he’s so pent up from all of your teasing touches and malicious, knowing smiles

his hands rest on your hips, wanting to explore, not wanting to piss you of any further, looking up at you with the sweetest doe eyes

“can I touch, please, please, let me touch, I promise, I promise, I’ll make you feel good, I’ll make you feel so good.”

his lips leave wet kisses all over the top of your chest, a trail of saliva left behind costing your skin

but no, no because you pin his hands above his head, “no touching puppy.”

Poor puppy cries out, as you kiss him, messy and sloppy with teeth and tongue and drool and his tears mixing in, thrusting up desperately

and when you pull away you can’t help but admire how pretty he is, all messed up

“i-I’ll do anything! I’ll be good-I promise I’ll be so good!” He cries

so you take pity, grabbing the phone off the nightstand and handing it to him while you reach over to put the number in.

“okay puppy, call room service for me, make sure to not make a sound and maybe if you do good baby, I’ll give my good boy a reward~”

you slither down his body, pulling his swim trunks down right as a voice comes over the phone

“room service, how can I help you?”

—

sorry this is a bit sloppy and rushed, I wrote it on my phone right as I was about to leave😭

[hannie-dul-set]

LOVE VOMIT [n.] — the term when you become too full with your feelings too quickly and too frequently that you end up spitting everything out before even getting the chance to digest. this happens to you more often than you’d like to admit— every quarter, actually, ever since starting college. but what can you do when the prospect of falling in love is just too good to say no to? what can you do when maybe the next desert might actually stay inside your system this time?

or, wherein you fall in love with a different guy every season but fail to notice the one that’s been looking at you the whole year.

PAIRING. choi soobin x female! reader (ft. the rest of txt x reader). GENRE. slice of life, romance, humor, mild angst, SLOWBURN, college! au, orgmate! soobin, pining to the highest degree, multiple love interests, featuring some members of seventeen, enhypen, and le sserafim. WARNINGS. swearing, drinking, annoying org jargon, both mcs are pathetic, unrequited feelings. WORD COUNT. teaser: 429 | full fic: est. 25-30k. RELEASE DATE: late june to early july.

NOTE. i said i was going to post the preview at the end of the week but i got too excited 😭😭 this may be a soobin fic but. u see. i am in love with all five of them so YOU will also fall in love with all five of them i don't make the rules.

i also wanted to jump back into my comfort zone of writing ordinary college life tingz, especially now that i actually have 2 years worth of experience to draw reference from. anyhow, send me an ask/dm to be addded to the taglist. preview under the cut!

THE TIME IS SPRING. A soft musk in the air, freshly bloomed flowers lining the sidewalks, and the start of a new semester. There’s something gentle about springtime, reminiscent of crisp blankets straight from the dryer with lavender seeping into its cotton folds and sunlight leaking through pleated sheer curtains. The season is for cherry blossoms and picnic baskets, outings and first loves. You’ve always associated these things with spring, however none of these sensibilities are present tonight. 

Instead of clear skies and bright sunlight, the view through the diner windows is lit up by artificial lights and signages in the middle of a March evening. There’s no lilac nor daisies in the air, but cheap beer and the savory smell of fried chicken. It’s noisy, it’s loud, and it’s far from the gentleness of spring, but you’ve never felt more alive at this time of the year.

‘Why did you join Shutter.TXT?’ reads the sheet of paper sitting on your table. You’re all smiles as you listen to the answers of those sitting at your table, mindlessly nodding along after being three glasses in. Tonight is an orientation-slash-welcome party for the organization you impulsively joined upon entering the university. 

Because photography is my passion...because I want to explore other fields…because, because, because.

The answers carousel around the table, and honest to god, you stopped listening at some point because it’s getting repetitive. You don’t understand the purpose of this activity. Why else would you join a club for photography, videography, and editing if not for photography, videography, and editing? 

“Are you kids having fun?”

You perk up. The empty smiles you’ve been giving suddenly becomes brighter, your eyes crinkling at the corners. Spring came belatedly tonight, and it came in the form of your extremely pretty senior suddenly appearing behind your seat and you’re instantly all the more conscious about your posture when he leans down to check in on your group. He cranes his head to look at you with a smile. “Is it your turn?” he asks. The back of your neck is burning.

“Ah, yes,” you cough, clearing your throat to introduce your name. “I major in public administration. I know it’s pretty far from my discipline, but I decided to join Shutter.TXT because I didn’t want to be constrained in one field throughout college. I’m sure this organization will make my university experience a lot more exciting and interesting.”

Lies. You joined because of the very face that’s smiling at you this very moment.

“I look forward to working with you.”

love vomit. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[myobsessionsspace]

hi i need to say this to SOMEONE 😭 but the general fandom is soo weird about jikook. whenever i see tiktoks the vibes of the comments are so different when its jikook. its so normal to see stuff like "thats his baby" "soulmates" "they love each other so much" "i love them together" when its abt any other pairing but for jikook tiktoks its just comment after comment of people emphasizing the word friendship. like fandom cannot interact w jikook content unless they make sure EVERYONE KNOWS that theyre JUST FRIENDS and i do not see this with other pairings and i do not understand why

Hi Lovely,

You can always come say things here 🫶

It’s crazy because I was just talking to a friend today about something similar!!

I was saying to her that I don’t even want the general public or all of the fandom to ship Jikook. I just want them to acknowledge them as close.

To be honest there are unhinged shippers in everytime subsection, Jikookers included. It’s understandable people that want no parts in shipping because it can go really left of the field, from the hyper feminisation of Jimin, the hyper masculinisation of Jungkook, the a/b/o tropes that people want to fit into everything they do, the hyper sexualisation of them, trying to make their every breath about the ship etc.

It’s understandable that lots of people want to just enjoy the members without all that extra.

What’s not understandable is the total erasure of Jikook even being BFFs, the super focus on certain duos that are not as volatile territory like ‘woah, thighs’, and how it’s fun to trend ‘rapper’s girlfriend’ but crickets from the fandom as a whole and only real noise from jikookers when ‘Jimin Hyung can handle it’ ‘I’m not that easy’ happed in front of our salad?!

That’s not US taking it there, that’s THEM 😩

My friend and I were saying that there are people that do see more when it comes to Jikook but because there aren’t enough big spaces that embrace the unique aspects of Jikook they try shipping spaces, but it’s not for the weak hearted. Some just see Jikook as interesting but not down to the #jikookisreal level and so when they dip their toes in they dip right back out.

Becca aka @wingzie did a post on how there are more jikookers than we may have thought:

I do get you anon, but I’m not so bothered if Jikook were to be acknowledged as ‘just friends’, heck I rarely see Jimin and Jungkook’s names in the same sentence unless it’s with the inclusion of other members or their musical records.

To be real, I care more that they’re not acknowledged as BEST FRIENDS, as closer than close. I see a lot of ‘that’s his baby brother’ ‘that’s just Jimin, he’s like that with all of them’, don’t even get me started on the pass around Jimin narrative that some use 😑.

I too see on a whole some actions that Jimin & Jungkook do that jikookers think is just for Jikook that truthfully isn’t, that can be seen with all seven. More jikookers do need to start dispelling those misguided Jikook lores in addition to dispelling anti Jikook narratives.

BUT I also see when there are things just Jikook that get skilfully ignored.

It’s super frustrating but at the same time it’s not. Because, really, do we want millions upon millions trending every little thing about Jikook if they are real and not explicitly out? I’d rather have the ones that can’t see anything because they have underlying prejudices to stay not seeing anything, because do Jikook need those kind of eyes on them?

Maybe a smaller bubble of jikookers being convinced and spotting their moments, in comparison to the fandom as a whole acknowledging something different with Jikook vs other ships, allows for jikookers to to keep jikooking ‘safely’.

The majority of people that DO see Jikook, see them for the unique softness, fondness, adoration, sweet words and actions, fun and spicy bond they have and want to celebrate it and protect it.

Appreciating Jikook doesn’t need to have millions of people. To be honest with or without us watching, Jikook will keep Jikooking. So let those that see them, enjoy and let those that don’t see them, miss out on a beautiful thing.

Thank you for being comfortable enough to send me your ask.

💜