#yandere honkai star rail x you
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CW: Yandere Themes, Stalking, Bathing Together, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Spoilers for HSR 3.0 Main Story
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
I've had some time to sit with 3.0, and so I wanted to just ramble a little bit about Yandere!Phainon! I loved him in-game and definitely hope to write about him as I get to know his character more.
He's not cruel. Far from it, his presence is like the kiss of sunlight on morning dew. Instead, he's protective to the point where he seems to bear down on you at every waking moment. You might simply be going for a walk in Marmoreal Market trying to buy some goods for dinner and you'll find yourself bumping into Phainon, his voice effulgent. But with light comes shadows, and you can feel his more possessive intentions lurking between the letters of his words. He exclaims what a wonderful coincidence this is, but you know better. A coincidence can only live for so long before it sheds its skin and reveals an artificial nature, and you can see right through every single one of Phainon's translucent excuses.
Even though he longs to wake up and fall asleep with you by his side, he does a good job of keeping the compulsion to take you home at bay for some time. His conveniently-timed coincidences allow him the opportunity to escort you from place-to-place and bask in your radiance. If he gets lucky, he can persuade you to let him accompany you to the baths. Even though it's against the rules, he enjoys bringing you to the Hero's Bath and taking his time washing your hair. His hands weave through your hair masterfully, his fingertips occasionally ghosting the skin of your shoulders. You may not let him be close to you, but he always finds a way to claim you as his own in public: a hand wrapped around your shoulders, or tousling your hair, or even reaching for your own hand. In his mind, you are a hero, the savior of a heart shattered beyond repair by countless losses. For that reason, he cannot let you go; no matter how wrong it may be in your eyes, perceptions can be easily changed, and he will do whatever it takes to show you that your life will be perfect with him. Spur, strike, scorn him as you'd like, you cannot escape his presence and power. It'd be a fool's errand to leave Okhema with the state Amphoreus is in, and Phainon isn't just some commoner with no public status who you can simply avoid. On the contrary, he has a multitude of tools at his disposal to help ensnare you in his control. And, if you still somehow fight against him, he can always plead with Aglaea for her to intertwine your fate with his.
No matter what you do, where you go, or how you fight him, Phainon will make himself the sun of your heart, pulling you into his orbit and never letting you go. Ever.
#yandere hsr#yandere phainon#hsr phainon#phainon#phainon x reader#yandere phainon x reader#yandere hsr x reader#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere drabble#yandere imagine#yandere honkai star rail#yandere hsr x you#yandere honkai star rail x you#yandere honkai star rail x reader#hsr phainon x reader#phainon x you#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr x gender neutral reader#hsr x y/n#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader
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mr reca with overstimulation but it's just you and him going over a certain scene over and over again because he wants the actor to be..more exhausted. it's you, you're the poor actor who has to keep going and keeps getting overstimulated until your brain is void of thoughts..
It's delicious...but let me tell you, more than just an over-the-top orgasm, he's going to consider this movie a masterpiece...😌💦💖
cw: yandere, dub-con, penetrative sex, humiliation (release your orgasm for the whole universe to see), ooc because the official plot has not been released yet
okay Imagine that you are an unknown actor struggling in the entertainment industry in the entire universe, with the lowest remuneration. However, one day Mr. Reca visited you and invited you to play the lead role in the new movie.
Mr. Reca goes on and on about how he has watched every TV show, movie, and commercial that you have appeared in - you usually only appeared for a few minutes, or even a few seconds. "You are the born protagonist", "the actor born for my movie". Those are his evaluations of you. You were flattered and panicked, avoiding his passionate gaze. Are you really that outstanding? Isn't that too much…? Or is he just trying to scam you and plan a joint venture to make a movie? Unexpectedly, he blushed and took out the script and movie contract. Written on the screen was the work content, the name of the movie… and the salary was million credits.
Did you read it wrong? You blinked and picked up the contract. How much?
You studied the script and took the job. The script describes a lot of sex scenes, but this is your only chance to play the lead role. And Mr. Reca promised that this is not a simple pornographic movie ("It's a philosophical movie. A masterpiece of mine." He corrected with some anger.) To provide people with entertainment… So, you agreed.
After filming officially starts, you will know that the salary is really worthy of the content of the work. Mr. Reca has unusually high standards for you, requiring every smile, frown, and sigh of yours to conform to the perfect idea in his mind. Especially those sex scenes. He claimed that he wanted to express the plight and emptiness of mankind through experimental lens language… You pouted and gibbered, spreading your legs in the constructed space jungle, and being adjusted by the director himself. The director's cock spreads your inexperienced spasming walls, prying you open and closed like a breath. The photographer focused on taking these shots. You were washed to a pulp by the pleasure of your constant orgasms.
"No - no, I said, this is not the feeling. You should show a look of indifference and arrogance." Mr. Reca squeezed out these words through his teeth. If it didn't interfere with the filming, this director would spank you.
You respond helplessly. "I-I can't…"
"Huh? How can you say such a thing as an actor!" Mr. Reca accused, holding your hips and plowing faster, his testicles slapping against the wet flesh in the middle of your legs. You rolled your eyes in the surge of bliss but then forced yourself to focus, screaming. "I-I'll try, I'm so sorry…!!"
"Yeah, be good now." He said in a mocking tone. "You are always like this. You need others to push you and stimulate your potential."
Listen to the slight jeers among the staff. You hide your face in despair. "Hey? What are you doing? The protagonist has to face the camera." The director takes your hands and back and makes your face face the camera without any reservations.
What happened next:
After the filming of the film was completed, Mr. Reca was quite satisfied. Film bureaus on various planets reviewed the film, and the film bureaus were still arranging a release date.
Under his supervision, you signed a contract for the next 10 films.
You stammered when he said he would sell the movie to the IPC streaming platform so the whole universe could see your orgasm.
#mr. reca x reader#honkai star rail x reader#yandere honkai star rail x reader#yandere honkai star rail x you
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𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗢𝗫
a/u: im overdosed of manhwas and this is based on pure whim. you may know me from other blogs, or not. tee heeeeeeeeeeee. i dont support the company btw, they can go suck my dick as stelle blows my back :3
summary: you, an omnipotent and supreme being that transcended beyond mere concepts, were utterly bored, having spent most of your existence overseeing multiple timelines. one day, you detected an anomaly in your realm, marking the beginning of an unheard comedy.
warning: basically timekeeper cookie but more fucked up. slaughter, mentioned death, insanity.
your earliest memories were the praises of people around you.
"such an amazing kid!"
"you are destinied for greatness!"
a quintessential example of geniuses, your hyperintelligence made it hard for you to enjoy things. you were perfect, as flawless as a human could be, you didn't need to prove anything, for people had already been on their knees at your mere presence.
it was so boring.
a thought occurred to you upon stumbling across a tragedy about two lovers, who were bereft of other's existence because they were stuck in different timelines.
for the first time, in your aimless and doomed to meet an end somewhere else mortal coil, you found something that exhilarated you. frankly, it wasn't an original idea, for generations of forebears had failed in attempts to look into the concept of time as a whole. your goal in this project, however, was not only to explore the untapped potential but also to open a new way to utilize it. at that moment, time was considered taboo, a flow of nature that mortals and alikes were forbidden to meddle with, thus the extreme backlash you were subjected to. you had never once cared for the crowd's opinions, they served to slow you down, so why should you listen to them when you had discovered a new toy to waste time on. your arduous journey led to the creation of the 'sonic embroider', the most powerful and controversial invention from mankind. it allowed the users to wield a small portion of time, not enough to control it, but enough to cause a ripple throughout the universe. some said this marked an unheard era, while others were prone to fear and distaste.
you weren't satisfied.
your belief in the item's full power had resulted in the many disappearances of volunteers, one by one, vanishing into thin air without any traces left.
well, one did return.
she, #14, was reported as the sole survivor of your merciless experiments. her mind was fractured, always mumbling incoherent words, and her tendencies to flinch at the smallest noises and vacant faces were annoying, to say the least.
after all, you were exasperated by humans' feelings in general.
her death didn't deter you, causing you to spiral farther into an abyss of insanity, one that you had never regretted, not even when your power, which was that of a being transcending beyond concepts, allowed you to turn back.
one day, you decided to ride on the 'sonic embroider' yourself. it was a much faster and more effective solution, but its consequences were to be warned.
the exposure to views of all ruined and refracted timelines, accompanied by the horror of constant dreadful loops, happened because an ambitious person dared to explore its endless cruelty was enough to wreck your mind. it brought irreversible havoc and chaos within your quiddity and you embraced it.
you welcomed the madness, for it helped dissolve any resemblance left of human nature inside you.
in the end, you remained the head of the organization, your personality had never changed, for there was no difference between the divinity and mortality. there was a thin line between a genius and a madman, and how you thrived off of it.
when they passed away, you took it your cue to reside in your realm, not before bringing forth more unnecessary entropies and messing with other timelines. the realization that you were now a sovereign of time itself didn't bother you, especially not when the waltz of discord and consternation, of divinity and mortality, mixed so well together, a symphony of your actions.
recently, you had been hanging out with a past version of yourself, a timeline where you were more caring and more lenient towards others. you took it upon yourself to convince 'her' to become a second you, as you were bored of observing without a 'friend' to gossip with. since upon 2¹³⁶ ²⁷⁹ ⁸⁴¹ − 1 timelines, there was only one you that succeeded in ascending to godhood, you chose to play an unpredictable gamble with yourself, turning off your ability to view the future for fun temporarily. you were glued to her since then and always bothered her with irrelevant ideas, not to you.
today though, you had to cut on your stay a bit. a time distortion was spotted in a nearby future, which was extremely rare. it indicated that this specific timeline had been kept clandestine from your keen eyes. as a typical bored god, you decided to give this time distortion a little push.
grass gasped underneath the footsteps of people, as the once cheerful ceremony now tainted with the ugly high-pitched screams. amid the chaos, was the one who caused it all, you, sitting on the golden embroider. a smile was plastered on your lips, like it had always been there. your one single eye swirled in a wicked excitement, revelling in the delicious desperation of residents. it wasn't the voices nor the blood that delighted you, but rather how they pushed each other back, willing to leave behind their loved ones to secure their lives. some begged, on their knees, foreheads clashed against the floor, for a salvation from you. with a mere flicker of fingers on their noses, you casually granted them the ability to wind back in time. your eye, the one that hadn't covered by the eye patch narrowed ever so slightly at their joy, giggling to yourself for your knowledge of their future.
you felt quite tired of having to do it by yourself. hadn't it been for that precise requirement, you would have 'borrowed' a mechanical armor from a fallen empire. wiping clean your trustworthy weapon, you rode away into a hole. it was an entrance to a time pocket, which you usually randomized. a comfortable place, except for those who were sick of the constant ticks from the clocks, or the hypnotizing movements of swirls. with a loud bang, an anomaly crashed onto where you usually sat, the sonic embroider.
"hello there!" you cooed, speeding up its disorientation. gloved hands gently wrapped around the small creature, as your smile widened ever so slightly.
"look like you are going to be stuck with me!" you exclaimed, examining its cog-like appearance.
#honkai star rail#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x you#honkai star rail x you#hsr#yandere hsr#yandere honkai star rail#yandere hsr x reader#yandere hsr x you#yandere honkai star rail x you#yandere#𝐆𝐔𝐘𝐒 (𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓) 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐄#𝗸𝗮𝘁𝗼'𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴
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Apologies
Reader X Welt Yang
I want to preface this little story snippet by saying I don’t really plan on regularly writing for Honkai Star Rail (this may be the only thing I write for HSR tbh) and I’ve not gotten super far into it (I only just recently got to Luofo) but I love Welt Yang with all my little beating heart and I get sad that he doesn’t seem to be as popular as the other dudes when it comes to fic content, so I wrote him a little something. :3
I really want to try and push myself out of my comfort zone and get more acclimated with writing nice characters through the yandere/dark fic lens. Mr. Yang has become one of my guinea pigs so bless him.
WARNINGS: Possessive behavior, mentions of physical and mental abuse, yandere, dubcon kissing/touching.
Your first kiss with Welt was full of desperation.
His iron grip held you taut against his body, while ravenous lips pressed down firmly upon your own. It felt more like an attempt at suffocation than a kiss, and you couldn’t help but be taken aback by the ferocity at which he came for you. Was such unbridled desire always lying dormant in this reserved, kind, gentle man this whole time? The interaction happened so fast it was hard to process what was going on, let alone decipher the true intentions of the man who was perpetrating the act.
Discomfort bordering on pain-this was how you would remember his initial show of affection.
“I’m sorry.”
Those words followed his first tense love confession and succeeded each one thereafter. Every hold that lasted a beat too long, every kiss the was a tad too invasive, every moment he lost control of himself and ended up hurting you as a result of his unchecked passion, a fervent apology would follow shortly after. They would tumble from his lips in breathy whispers, spoken as if they were a prayer, peppered in with the delicate kisses he would litter over the wounds that he had inflicted upon you.
It didn’t matter how gingerly he’d treat you after, you’d wince at each unwanted kiss. The sear of his lips causing you more pain than any other touch ever could.
“I’m sorry.”
He said it so much it was becoming like a catch phrase. When he caught you crying alone in your room or when he felt you struggle against his overbearing affection, the words would spill from within him. His regrets would be relayed to you in hushed tones, mumbled against your skin, chanted to you over and over and over again, begging to be absolved of the sins he was committing against you.
“I’m sorry.”
Those words no longer held any meaning.
“I’m sorry.”
They were only spoken to make himself feel better.
“I’m sorry.”
He wasn’t apologizing. He was tricking himself into thinking he wasn’t hurting you, that by saying them he was making something right.
“I’m sorry.”
If he was really sorry, he wouldn’t be doing this in the first place.
“I’M SORRY!”
You were, too. Sorry that you believed he was a good man, sorry that you trusted him, and sorry that you were once naïve enough to ever have given your heart to him.
#ilu Welt Yang#I hope with my tiny lil snippet I did you an ounce of justice#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x y/n#honkai star rail x y/n#welt yang x reader#welt yang x y/n#yandere hsr#yandere honkai star rail#yandere welt yang x reader#yandere welt yang x y/n#yandere hsr x reader#yandere honkai star rail x reader#yandere x reader#yandere fic#hsr x you#honkai star rail x you#yandere honkai star rail x you#yandere hsr x you#mothwingswritings
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Seen the request, so I shall deliver. Could you pls write a drabble or hcs of a yandere sunday with an isekaied reader?
Good timing because I'm actually planning a non yan isekai fic for him, I wonder if you saw that post. Here it is in case you haven't.
Sincerest apologies if this isn't the best, this fic is 100% emotionally charged by my obsession with him and frankly with a little bit of a high for passing a tricky exam. This is a treat for myself.
EDIT: Please check out this wonderful comic that @danijaci made me based off this fic!! 😭🫶
Picking up the cup from the fine oak table, you gazed towards the eerie galaxy before you, hundreds upon thousands of stars giving you a constant reminder of just how far from home you truly were. Taking a sip from the little porcelain cup you could not help but to hum in delight, the soft notes of the tea soothing your nerves ever so lightly as you pretended to ignore the heavy gaze which lingered at the back of your head.
Even from this distance, it was easy to tell that Sunday was eager to approach you. Still, he kept his distance and made a silent offering in the form of the very tea you drank at the moment.
Anything is better than Himeko's coffee but you were never going privy her to that.
In a not so distant past, all of this was nothing but fiction. The Express, the story, the characters - it was all nothing more but fiction, something to pass the time as your days went on and on, the same monotony repeating each and every day.
It was hard to not think about your friends and family, what sane person would not? Lord knows how they must be feeling right now, worried sick out of their minds with indescribable sorrow. In their eyes you had merely vanished, not a single trace to be found. For all they knew you could have been left for dead in a ditch somewhere, beaten, bloodied and broken, never to see the light again or if they were even more inclined to be morbid, you had succumbed to a fate worse than death. Death at the very least grants you finality, that all is over regardless of what happened moments prior.
But that was simply not the case for you.
Here you were, lounging about in a comfortable chair as you pondered on your old life while enjoying tiny little luxuries, far away where none of your loved ones could reach you. However, life was funny sometimes because it had some fun games in store.
Sunday was very kind upon arrival. He made sure to always be there for you, always checking up on you, always there to keep you company. You were already smitten with him but now to actually witness him in the flesh was just... Indescribable. You got along like a house on fire, so much so that the crew liked to tease that you ought to just get a room. Sunday, ever the gentleman, would just brush their words aside and assure you to not take their playful little jabs to heart.
You wouldn't say anything, resorting to merely giving him a smile but not because of what he said but rather of what he did not - never once did he actually shut down those perverse accusations. Never, not even once did he deny them.
He became an emotional crutch, someone to whom you would come running to when things got tough and he would always welcome you with open arms. Sunday would hold you tenderly, his serene voice dripping with honey along with a tender drop of ecstasy, for his excitement with holding you would just show itself sometimes. His grip would be too tight at certain moments, never quite ready to let you leave. His hugs were warm and comforting, he always smelled so good too. He smelled like kindness and sweet wildflowers, always lulling you back to him no matter the time. In dark corners and perhaps even under the watchful eyes of the crew, Sunday would wrap his scarf around your head, securing the soft fabric in order to provide you with a sense of comfort.
It was humiliating just how much you would try to inhale his scent as much as possible. You wanted it etched deep inside your memory, you wished for it to linger on your very soul and for it to follow you everywhere you went, sticking to your being like tar. The fabric of the scarf would muffle your ears a little but someone was always chatting in the background. Be it March bickering with Dan Heng, Mr Yang scolding someone for doing something they were not supposed to, or just Conductor Pom Pom trying to give a speech, all of it was irrelevant.
You were ready to kill whoever would try to pry you away from sweet Sunday. That thought came often which had left you worried - just what kind of person had you become? Regardless, you kept your mouth shut and had no plans of sharing such violent sentiments with anyone, particularly not to the one you held so dear.
When it was time to part for the evening you would bid the crew farewell and wished them a good night. You always made sure to take a few extra seconds with Sunday, just to ease your aching soul. He would tell you to sleep well and would see you in the morning, ready to take on any endeavor that crossed your paths.
As everyone parted ways, Sunday would wander off somewhere dark and distant, somewhere no one could see nor hear him. He would fall to his knees and clutch his chest in agony, fat tears streaming down his face as he did everything he possibly could to steady his raging heart. In a rush he would reach for the scarf which clung around his neck, his grip tighter than iron as he would bring it close to his nose. Taking a large, deep breath, Sunday was greeted by your familiar scent which would promptly calm his poor heart.
He sometimes wondered if his heart would start bleeding from the pain due to the sheer intensity of his emotions.
This was wrong, everything about this was not right and it hurt. Sunday was obviously ill but he had no clue on how to fight this... This emotion, this white hot feeling of need whenever you stood by his side. He started to choke on the air around him and fell into an abrupt coughing fit but even then, he could bring himself to remove the scarf from the lower part of his face.
Sunday wept and sobbed, filthy snot coming out from his nose but he could not handle that now. He needed you, Oh Heavenly Aeons, how he needed you. However was he going to tell you how he felt? How, oh how was he going to express the sheer magnitude of his true thoughts? He would scare you off, he was sure of it.
Even with this pain, even with these clipped wings and bleeding heart, Sunday had never felt so alive, so harrowingly present in the moment whenever he was with you.
Perhaps, he was doing himself a kindness by just letting you be. Drink your tea, be at peace.
He can always just make you another cup if you so desired.
Without knowing, you both haunted each other in the most agonizing way known to mankind and neither was strong enough to face the reality of the situation.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere imagines#yandere x you#yancore#yanderecore#yandere aesthetic#yandere male#yandere sunday x reader#sunday x reader#yandere sunday#sunday#sunday x you#yan hsr#yandere hsr#hsr x reader#sunday hsr#yandere honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail
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𝜗𝜚。..❛ #03. CORPSE BRIDE
𐙚 topic。.when you turn down yandere hsr men’s proposals.
.。𝜗𝜚 cw。general yandere themes, suggestive content, MINORS DNI
.。𝜗𝜚 a/n。aven, sunday, and boothill. sunday and aven are regular additions to my posts lol, wrote boothills less intense bc he’s too silly to imagine
#AྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིVENTURINE ⇢ ‘convinces’ you
。he will actually try to coax you into it. he doesn’t want to just force things onto you, that isn’t really what he wants 。“ill make you the happiest pretty bride, doll, just believe in me, hm?” 。continues to sweet talk you, telling you what he can do- buy you pretty dresses, give you anything you want, and he lists luxury after luxury. 。and he follows through his promises. even if you are being really disobedient, he’d still buy you more luxury than you could ever ask for. you will start questioning if you really don’t want this marriage- which is exactly what he wants you to do, to make you doubt yourself. 。his list goes on and on- a vip ticket to the Reverie, first row tickets to robin’s concerts, only the finest things that only his class of people could ever get their hands on. 。but in that list, he conveniently puts out ‘freedom.’ 。if you disagree, he’d pout, asking you why- and when you tell him you want to be free from him, he’d laugh, calling you a silly girl. 。“i already gave you a choice when we met. it was your choice to pick a card from an unknown pile.” 。he’d have the wedding commence in some really luxurious property of the ipc, and he will, invite your family over- he’s merciful. but is it mercy when you know you won’t see them ever again? 。“it would be a shame if they don’t see the happiest moment of your life.”
STANDING there with the most beautiful dress you could humanly ask for, your expression is nothing but a shell as Aventurine smiles at you through those shades. Your eyes are everywhere but on his eyes, when you stare at them, you feel like you’re losing yourself.
you are glad your gown came with a veil over your head, nobody can see your dead eyes, except him.
As the officiant goes on with the questions, you grip your bouquet a little harder to the point you feel their stems crumple, just like your shriveling heart.
You snap out of it after hearing silence- you see his expecting eyes on you and you nod blankly. “I do.”
And your husband smiles even wider, and he steps closer and slowly, while staring at you with uncomfortable adoration through those tantalizing purple eyes, he kisses you. You are expecting a tender kiss in a ceremony; but his gloved hand sneaks onto the back of your head, pulling you in hastily.
“I love you so fucking much, princess—” he breathes into you, brushing aside the saliva that trickles down your chin after his intrusion. “It took quite a while, but you’re finally all mine.” He pulls up your hand that has your forced vow on it, he chuckles and softly kisses your fingers.
“‘m gonna make you so happy, so ecstatic, that you’re gonna thank me for it, love. you will thank me that I restrained you from everything else.” he whispers, and the people clap, cheering; your family too, who smiles, knowing nothing that it would be your last reunion.
#SྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིUNDAY ⇢ breaks you
。he just takes it on another level (and does not find your struggles entertaining unlike the former) 。he will be, really heartbroken at first. the head of the oak family asking you to be his lifelong sweetheart is almost like him giving you his life. you are his entire world- and the world has rejected him. 。“…I see. was I not good enough for you, angel?” 。although his emotions will be very hard to control, he’s very used to commencing plans. he’d tell you that he could ‘talk this out’ with you. unfortunately, it’s not a choice, but rather, an order. 。sunday is a ‘the end justifies the means’ kind of person. he will do any means to make you eventually accept your fate. that will include imprisoning you in some faraway place and leaving you abandoned for so long, you will be broken, wishing for any interaction. food is only given to you through a remote device, with no human interaction. 。sunday itches to be with you- he is compassionate for you, his heart will ache to see you sob into an endless cacophony. a part of him will be tempted to go to you and be with you physically, not watching you from a screen. 。he will repeat it- he will visit once a blue moon, comforting you, asking you if you changed your mind. when you ask him when he’d release you, his expression will harden. 。“it seems you haven’t learned anything, sweetheart.” 。if you are still stubborn, he will be a little impatient. he will speed up the process by adding new things in- maybe making you dream of a lovely, free life and when you wake up, you’re just alone. he will not resort to anything violent, he cares too much about you to hurt you. although, ‘hurt’ in his dictionary doesn’t apply to mentally hurting you. 。you will sob and show your most dramatic, fragile sides to a descent of madness, thinking you are truly alone until sunday comes to visit. you are wrong, though- sunday has always been with you, just not physically. 。he has always been watching you cry into the void through a screen. always.
MAYBE you have finally lost your mind, because when Sunday comes to visit you and your dull prison, you collapse to your knees and immediately plead him.
“Please,” you sob, clutching his legs desperately- he doesn’t crouch, but looks down- almost like a god addressing its follower. Sunday is no god for you, but you beg like he is.
“Please what?” He looks at you, fingers brushing over your hands, tilting his head just the slightest. His golden eyes glitter in the dim light. He is waiting for only one answer, there is only one correct answer to his question.
But you do not give him the right one. “Please just let me go,” you break down. Your heart is throbbing from all the crying, vision blurry and your head is light with no energy to talk anymore.
His gentle, serene smile immediately warps into that of a cold one. “Try again?” His fingers grip your hands hard, warning you that his patience is running thin.
When you remain silent except for your sobs, he crouches down to stare at you on eye-level, boring holes into your fearful expression. Unlike his deadly gaze, his words are soft and flow out quickly like a river- albeit with a sigh of exasperation. “Sweetheart, I’m not going to stop this just because you beg.” His hand pushes yours against the floor to knock you down, figure towering over you as he leans in to whisper- “—although, they’re very pleasant to listen to.”
“Honestly, I don’t get why you are struggling right now. It’s so easier to accept your eventual fate. Unless, you do like to seek pain.”
His other hand goes over your stomach, then slides tantalizingly slow up your body- you shiver and tremble at each touch that is too foreign to you. Cold fingers cage your neck and you choke on your breath.
“I’m not planning on hurting you, angel.” His voice is still gentle, but his eyes are telling another story, they seem keen to hurt you again and again. “But I did say I’ll resort to other… methods. Since none of them seem to work, I suppose the only solution would be caging you with a baby.” When your eyes widen, he laughs dryly. “The look on your face tells me that you didn’t expect it. But you will be my loving wife, dear. You will not be able to run or reject me, not when your own child is at stake. It makes only more sense to… make you bear children. My children.”
As he watches you struggle under him, trying to breathe, he feels like he has entered ascension. Soon, one of your pretty fingers will have his ring, and very very soon, he will have his first child- the very thought of him makes him lose his mind. He so wishes to make you his, claim you inside, watch your pretty pussy gush out his cum while he’s pressing deep into your womb- but he also wishes to see a mini version of him, or you. He finds it too adorable to withstand. He will vow that his children will grow up pure and innocent.
“We will be the happiest family in the world,” he purrs. “And I’ll make sure of it.”
#BྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིOOTHILL ⇢ will try to prove himself
。maybe a little similar to aven. but while the latter will materialistically give you things and spoil you around to convince you, boothill will more likely show himself off instead. 。“i can fudgin’ shoot an ipc lackey in the head from miles away, sugar- ya can’t see that ‘n any other guy.” 。he’ll try to show you his capability to protect you- which will likely end up in multiple people dying but as a galaxy ranger, he has morals, so he will probably use the ipc as his shooting dummies 。overall he’s sweet even if you reject his proposal- he will likely be furious, just not at you. 。oh lord but during the day you rejected him, be prepared for multiple news flashes of dead people across the street. the amount of emotion will be too much for his consciousness to restrain 。when you confront him, he’d apologize, albeit a little too nonchalant. 。“‘m sorry sweetie, got a lil outta hand last night.” 。per your wish, he won’t kill anyone who’s unrelated and innocent- but he’d still go on a killing spree in the ipc headquarters to the point you are blacklisted on their list because he would shout your name and rant why you didn’t accept him while he shoots his gun all around the place.
“BOOTHILL, what the hell are you doing?” You frown when he returns- even after rejecting his proposal, he drifts around you like a lost stray dog. And he is always covered in blood, looking furious- but when you talk, his expression simply melts away like butter to a grin that shows his sharp teeth.
“What do ya mean what I’m doin’? Makin’ sure nobody hurts you.” He snickers. He smells like metal, like he always does, but this time it’s overpowering, which lets you know what he’s been doing.
“I don’t need protection, Boothill. You can just leave me alone.”
You’re beyond annoyed at his clinginess. No matter how many times you reject him, he’d always come back, showing something new off to you, and half the time it wasn’t anything pleasant, but rather his list of crimes.
“Aww, don’t be so uptight, sugar.” He chuckles and flashes a grin and his other metal hand spontaneously pulls you into his embrace— you jump. When did his hand get there? “All I wanna do is to make sure my future wife is safe and sound. Nothin’ wrong with that, hm?”
“I told you, I’m not going to accept-“
“Ah ah! Wait and see, you will be, I promise. But don’t drag the chase a lil too long. Even I get impatient.” Something cold pressed against your forehead and you realize it’s his gun. When your expression turns aghast with fear, he barks an amused laugh.
“You scared of this? Nah, I’d never hurt ya. Won’t wanna turn your body into metal like mine.” Although he says this with a dark smirk, he doesn’t remove the gun. “The sooner you agree to it, the merciful I become. Ya don’t wanna see innocent guys die because of your stupidity, hm?”
#𐙚.。articles#honkai star rail x reader#Honkai star rail smut#yandere sunday#honkai star rail yandere#sunday x reader#sunday smut#aventurine x reader#aventurine x you#yandere aventurine#boothill x reader#boothill hsr#hsr smut#yandere hsr#hsr x reader
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My Sinful Little Angel
a short AU fic featuring secret priest! Sunday of a small village x baker! gn reader
"Thank you again, Mr. Oak," you said as Sunday, the town's resident tailor finished repairing the frayed hem of your apron. "Here," you offer him a half dozen of today's special treat, powdered sugar shortbread cookies filled with raspberry jam.
"Thank you," he gave you a soft smile that made your heart melt. "Here," he offered you up some coins, more than he should but still a paltry amount the judgmental villagers would consider good and proper.
It was part of your little arrangement. You showed up one day out of nowhere, and the town's bakery took you in. You had a roof over your head and a belly full of food, but they paid you next to nothing.
"Tomorrow we're going to be maki--" a knock interrupted your sweet little announcement. It was the baker's son. Sunday didn't miss how your gaze fell to your hands clutching your newly repaired apron, how you seemed so very bashful in the presence of your peer. Oh God in heaven, please smite this wicked fool who dare intrude upon your shared sacred peace and tempt you so.
You gave him a small wave as you headed for the door, "I have to go Mr. Oak, duty calls." You were always so polite and sweet to him, so diligent, always doing more than you should. Sunday noticed the powdered sugar you had graced him with when he paid you for your work and brought it to his unworthy tongue. An ambrosia he didn't earn, one he didn't deserve. You were an angel made flesh, and far too good for a backwater place like this. One day, he swore, he'd do something about it.
As the sun set, he flipped the sign in the window from open to closed before heading off to his second job. Every flock needed a shepherd, and who better to play the role as he? And so the town's church offered a confessional booth service where he served as the confessor.
He settled in behind the screen and prepared his heart for the service. People always had such ridiculous things plaguing them so, but who was he to deny them salvation?
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
It was the sound of your voice. He held his breath. He couldn't help but hear how nervous and deflated you sounded. What heresy could you have committed to feel so low? "Speak freely, child," he spoke in an unrecognizable drawl. Sunday preferred anonymity. It was better when people didn't know who they were speaking to.
You sigh inwardly and steel your resolve, "I've been having sinful thoughts about another. One of my fellow peers."
Sunday has heard those very words before, and he didn't like where this was going. He was quite fortunate to be able to steer you away from such an unholy sin. "What sorts of thoughts?"
He listened to the sound of fabric brushing against the confessional screen, the sound of you squirming from discomfort. "Carnal ones I'm afraid. Whenever I'm with him, I pray his hands linger more than they should. Every night, I dream of clandestine meetings -- of the perverted sort."
Sunday hears how very affected you are, and he isn't going to allow some degenerate sully your pure soul and infect your mind. He was almost certain it was that baker boy with the way you could scarcely look at him, but if he were to do anything about it, he would need to be sure. "Those are quite heavy sins, my dear, but the lord forgives all who wish to repent."
"Thank you Father." He can hear the smile in your voice and he has you right where he needs you.
"To repent, it would be best to disclose the name of this wolf in sheep's clothing that assaults your thoughts and faithful heart."
Yes, give me a name. This whisper campaign to your excommunication will be as delicious as it'll be unsurprising. It'll be my revenge for whoever dares touch you so frivolously, my sweet angel.
You got quiet, the sound of conflict. Sunday's chest tightened, anguished by your misplaced sense of guilt. You were trying to shield whoever this dastard was by the kindness of your soul. He knew you needed one final push. "The lord forgives all who sin, even the serpent who tempts you so."
"Well," you swallowed thickly. Agony permeated your words as you work up the courage to oust the blasphemer, "it's Sunday Oak."
#sunday x reader#sunday x you#sunday hsr#honkai star rail#yandere honkai star rail#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere imagines#yancore
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Boothill and a corrupt USB with a “love virus”… and you’re the poor, unfortunate engineer forced to deal with him in this state, except his little metal heart has gotten too attached to you and the feeling of overbearing longing that you make him feel… on the bright side, your wanted posters look lovely together ♥︎
#yandere honkai#yandere honkai star rail#yandere hsr#yandere boothill#boothill#yandere male#yandere concept#yandere x reader#yandere male x reader#boothill x reader#honkai star rail x reader#star rail x reader#i’ll elaborate on this i promise#my hsr brainrot is too strong rn - and sunday… sunday i have plans for you my boy#send star rail requests - i have a sparkle one that’s eating my brain but i can handle more please please please#๋࣭. ancient scrolls
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Okay look, I know people are gonna characterize Aventurine as the kind of yandere that manipulates everything behind the scenes and is always coming up with ways to try and make his darling unable to rely on anyone but him. But honestly? I can see him as the desperate needy type who needs to have your attention on him, he NEEDS to be the only man you'll ever want and look at, and GOD, he just desperately needs you to own him in his entirety.
He'll do anything to keep your attention on him and make sure that you at least will keep him around long enough for him to enact his plans of keeping you by his side. You want a dog who does whatever you say and will crawl on hands and knees for your amusement? You want a pretty little toy that you can break over and over? You want him to take the lead and make you unable to think or walk anymore? He'll do it, he'll do whatever you want, he'll do anything to keep your attention on him until he can make you his.
#lati thirsts#tw yandere#honkai star rail x reader#yandere honkai star rail#yandere aventurine#aventurine x reader#GOD i just need to write about a needy and clingy yandere that is willing to be your toy just to keep your attention on them#like yeah aventurine could be manipulative and greedy but have you considered him to be INSANELY clingy and needy?#edit: omfg stop liking this I wrote this in the middle of my botany lab pls
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CW: Yandere Themes
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
I think Yandere!Jing Yuan would be happy to play the part of the lovesick, clingy, dozing General who begs you to stay in his arms for five more minutes. You're so warm, so perfect in his embrace, as though the Aeons molded the both of you to fit against one another flawlessly. When you return home, he's quick to rush over to your side and nuzzle against your neck, whispering how much he missed you.
And while part of him genuinely is utterly devoted to you, the other part of him plays his cuddliness up so you feel like you're the one in control in this relationship. It's not like Jing Yuan convinced you to move in with him, or to switch from working full-time to part time. No, all he did was listen and give you advice, advice that just so happened to mention doing exactly those things.
After all, it's not like Jing Yuan would ever hurt you, right? He's in love with you, and you're in love with him.
Truly, Jing Yuan would never even fathom hurting you. Just a trace of pain tainting your beautiful fair face hurt worse than the loss of all his friends combined. It was why he had to do this. But luckily, you'd never even know a thing; in your eyes, Jing Yuan is just a docile cat.
Little do you know, you're trapped in the den of a lion.
#yandere jing yuan#yandere hsr#jing yuan#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x you#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere drabble#yandere imagine#yandere hsr x reader#yandere hsr x you#yandere honkai star rail x you#yandere honkai star rail x reader#yandere honkai star rail#yandere jing yuan x reader#yandere jingyuan#jing yuan x y/n#jing yuan x gender neutral reader#hsr#hsr x you#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail
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After all, you were his wife first
#yandere male#tw yandere#my art#yandere blade#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere boy#yandere honkai star rail
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Where the Lamb does not Belong.
You're isekai'd into the world of Honkai Star Rail. Thankfully, you're taken into the Astral Express and continue your journey peacefully, until you reach Penacony. Something, or someone, seems to be causing your system to continually crash. Perhaps it's because you did not belong here at all.
Warnings: yandere, obviously. Uh, mentioned fracture(?)
A/n; reader is a tad forgetful and can brush off a few things, and get distracted slightly easily. But for the most part, i think it won't ruin the immersion. Its my first time writing something "self aware" related, and something like a character breaking the 4th wall. I really love these tropes but rarely write them. I hope i did it well. Its roughly 4.5k long. Enjoy.
----
“Ace!”
“It's not ace.”
“Uno!”
“March, you're supposed to say it after you put down your second card.”
“Oh, sure.”
…
“March, it's not your turn.”
“Huh?!”
You giggle, listening in on their banter. You're leaned up comfortably on Dan Heng's back, messing around with a level on Stelle's phone she hasn't been able to beat.
You hear a loud groan, a fwop as March drops on her back onto the bed,
“This is so confusing!”
“The rules are simple, you're just trying to rush things.”
Dan Heng takes the cards and settles them, tapping them vertically to level and gather them onto the little table. You stretch your neck to look back and catch a glimpse of March sulking. Stelle gently pries the phone out of your hands as you do so.
“Hey let's go through our photo album again!”
“It's the 6th time this month.”
You chuckle, getting up from Dan Heng's back as you feel him shift, moving over to situate yourself around the table aswell, the the bed dipping under your weight.
“I knew you were into photography but wow, this is something, March.”
You say, leaning over on the table, your elbow resting on it as your chin rests on your palm,
“Well, you better be grateful ‘cause I just finished up your entry!”
“My entry?”
You blink, confused,
“She's been dutifully taking pictures of your progress as a new member of the Astral express. I've.. learnt from experience It's better that you don't try to stop her.”
You laugh awkwardly, staring down as March excitedly flips through the photo book. It's a bit embarrassing now that you recall.
“Here! Look, look, look! I caught [name] in all their glory!”
“March..”
You awkwardly laugh, as Dan Heng looks over at the photo March points to in her photobook,
You cringe as you see your own expression, dull and groggy, a stark contrast to the bright letters and stickers decorating the edge of the photo that's glued tightly onto the page. You're drooling, to top it off.
“Hehe, [name] looks cute here don't they?!”
March points down to another photo right below, blurry in the midst of action. Your hazy figure is sitting up on a bed, Stelle draped over your lap while in charge of watching over you when you first appeared.
“I should have stayed to watch over, instead.”
Dan Heng comments under his breath, glancing back momentarily at Stelle, her chin hooked over his shoulder after having abandoned the game, seemingly more interested in the collection.
You chuckle softly,
Where did it begin exactly?
You boarded as an official member of the Astral Express about a few months ago, a gold brooch handed over to you, and many new faces who welcomed you onboard. You remember being home one day, going to sleep and hoping, just hoping that all of your worries and stress would just.. disappear. Your head hit the pillow and then-
You woke up. Here.
Suddenly you woke up in the very game you played to relieve your stress. Ironically, that moment you woke up was one of your most stressful memories, panicking at the situation you were in–
“Aw, dang it. I got defeated.”
All of you look over to Stelle, and to the red screen on her phone. You chuckle, as March sighs and shifts the topic.
You yawn and settle back onto the bed, leaning on a pile of pillows as March and Dan Heng continue their banter, taking this time to go through your stats, swiping and tinkering on your phone.
You've reached a higher level now. Having unlocked many items and even levelled up some basic features which allowed you to at the very least, defend yourself.
You read through the archived stories, gazing over all the past dialogue you've shared with this trio from the “main quest” ever since you boarded. Your friendship level with many had increased gradually over time, and shot up with the trio, as expected.
“[Name]..”
Stelle whines, pushing her phone back to you. You giggle, taking the device from her hands,
“Alright, I won't get distracted this time.”
-
This was your first expedition as a new member of the Astral Express. Which didn't help considering you were going into Penacony of all places.
You were nervous – how was your presence going to alter the timeline? Maybe a less “on screen” role like Himeko's? Or maybe you should have just stayed back with Dan Heng? But the experience, materials and all sorts of gizmos Penacony was going to offer.. It was too tempting.
And here you are, in the lobby. Himeko and Welt continue negotiating with the young woman at the reception. You were already on edge, but it seemed things just had to go wrong as well.
To distract yourself, you fidgeted and anxiously viewed the prologue to Penacony the system had just offered to you, repeatedly scrolling up and down on your phone, tapping your foot, pacing around the hotel a bit when–
A hand came up to your shoulder.
“It seems you're quite worried.”
You looked back.
It's Robin.
“Sorry, uh, we're.. having difficulty with the check-in and..”
You momentarily trail off, almost lost as you look at Robin. Her in game model was beautiful, but now that you're standing in front of her, it's almost.. mesmerising. Her eyes are beautiful – deep and ethereal. Pretty pink lips and softly dusted cheeks, her hair wispy and framing her face just the right way. You're awestruck for a moment, before panicking and snapping out of your daze.
You're at a hotel lobby for aeons’ sake!
“O-Oh, uh, my family is–”
You turn over to see Himeko and Welt continuing to go back and forth with the young woman at the reception, and turn again to see March and Stelle slightly off in the corner talking anxiously.
“They seem lovely.”
Robin smiles at you. And suddenly, your eyebrows and shoulders relax. Your jaw slightly slacks. Something about Robin seems to soothe you more than you ever thought.
Your eyes trail over to the bar in the corner;
Friendship level: 0
Right. She's still a stranger, in this timeline of events.
You're snapped out of your thoughts momentarily as another, unfamiliar voice speaks up from the crowd – a blonde man, addressing your fellow trailblazers.
This can't be good.
You walk up, regrouping with March and Stelle as they watch it all happen.
–
The golden hour was a familiar map to you, particularly because you'd loved exploring the place back when you used to play.
But actually being there is stunning.
The yellow lights brighten up the night-like atmosphere in a beautiful, classy way. It's almost as though you're in an old film, the way everything around you is hazy and glowing. There's laughter in the background and shimmering lights somewhere in the distance, drinks and the smell of food occasionally wafting in the air from corner cafés or so. You wander, awestruck at the sight of the landscape when–
You bump into someone, a small sound leaving you at the impact.
You look back to take a look at the stranger - more to try and ground yourself into this “dream” and your current reality. You were in Penacony. And all of this was physically interacting with you, regardless of how miniscule you must be. Whether you would have been reincarnated as a Cafe owner, or an NPC, or anyone else. As long as you were on Penacony, you were going to be a part of Sunday's grand plan.
You zone out, the hazy cacophony of ecstasy in the background blurring in the crowded space of your mind, thoughts overarching and bubbling up.
Beep!
You look at your phone, buzzing as quests pop up. You take a moment to look around the various shops, before your eyes land on a cozy cafe.
It won’t hurt to rest for a moment.
–
“Shit, shit, shit..”
You curse to yourself, frantically tapping on the screen and trying to fix this mess.
“Just– cooperate damn it..!”
Your teeth gnaw at your lip, biting and peeling off bits of the skin. It stings, but in your anxious state, you barely pay mind,
Why was the system not cooperating with you?!
None of your teleportation points worked, you weren't levelling up, barely any of the trinkets given by completion of quests were being used up! It was rudimentary junk in your inventory and now for some god awful reason, your entire system was going haywire!
System error: freespace is occupied!
System error: unavailable tab
System error: unable to access tab
System error: unable to complete..
“Yeah, yeah I got it you little-”
“Is something the matter?”
You gasped under your breath, a chill shooting up your spine as you turn around,
“No, no! Nothing, haha just.. uh..”
You awkwardly shuffle, pretending to look into your bag,
“You seem to be having trouble.”
Sunday's poised figure contrasts your sweaty, nervous, fidgeting one, as you only panic more at his words.
“Oh, just.. well.. it’s my first time visiting another world, so..”
“Ah, first time jitters? I’m faintly familiar.”
You chuckle awkwardly, but your humour doesn't seem to be exactly matched. Sunday’s smile doesn't widen or lessen, and neither does he chuckle. You realise how uncanny he looks in the dim lights of the Golden Hour barely illuminating his face in the alley.
“You seem to have been separated from your group. Would you like me to accompany you on your way back?”
“Sure–”
Warning: you are currently interacting with an influential figure. Proceed with caution.
“..you seem hesitant.”
You look at the glaring notification on your screen - akin to when an amber alert pops up, or when an earthquake warning resounds.
“..uh, I think.. I’ll be able to find them on my own. I should be fine.”
“I insist. As the representative and Spokesperson of The Family it is my duty to ensure the safety and relaxation of guests in the Dreamscape.”
Shit. This guy isn’t giving in.
You hesitate, a bead of sweat forming on your forehead and grazing the top of your eyebrow,
Beep!
Optional: would you like dialogue suggestions to be displayed?
[Yes]
[No]
[No – do not ask again]
You sigh internally. At least this system knows how to assist you when you need it.
“Shall we?”
Sunday beckons you to follow, as the pop-up blinks away, before you get the chance to select.
There’s no getting out of this. You’re just gonna have to suck it up and be careful.
“..sure.”
-
Sunday doesn’t remember when it exactly began.
Strange patterns, predictable dialogues, and the anomalies that occured..
Right after Sunday discovered your name.
He watched as the cup from the trash pile slipped and fell onto the pavement. Your name was written on it – messily and hurried. The cup rolls down a bit before hitting the side of his shoe. Sunday watched it with indifference, opting to simply move it aside before he spotted it. Your name. But it wasn’t supposed to be.
An alias? Maybe. It was different than the name administered in your profile.
He opted to push it back for later; but it was an interrupted thought as he walked ahead and watched you fiddle around with your phone, buzzing constantly as you cursed at it.
He breathes out, before deciding to approach you.
–
“Alone?”
“Alone.”
You respond, your eyes embarrassed and watching the various shuffling of feet in front of you, the crowd forming in front of the Rollercoaster you were too scared to go on.
Well, it's rather you haven't been able to go onto them.
Stelle and March offered you to join, and usually you'd be able to accept the invitation pop up, but as of recent, your system has been going haywire. The system probably narrowed down the scenarios you'd be allowed to participate in,in order to control the situation.
So you stood there, your mood dampened as you accepted that the system would not allow you to partake in the ride with your friends, shaking your head and telling them to go on instead, leaving you behind.
And Sunday saw all of it.
Or rather, just that you haven't gone onto the ride.
“Are you afraid of heights?”
“No, nothing like that.”
You chuckle softly, shaking your head. Even if you were.. he's not exactly the person you'd tell it to, anyway. You ignore the buzzing of your phone as it displays the same warning, jaded and moody as you'd been denied a great opportunity to have fun.
“..there is a new bakery that's opened up in the corner. Would you like to visit?”
You blink, and look at him, confused. He seems to have understood your confusion, and follows up,
“Until your companions have had their fill. Just for a cup of coffee.”
You hesitate, humming in contemplation. You look at the options displayed;
Options:
□ “Sure. Let's go.”
□ “sorry, my husband's waiting for me on the express.
□ “No thank y–
System Error: no options available
You sigh. You really need to do something about these errors. You nod,
“Sure. Let's go.”
…
The bakery was warm, and lively. As soon as you entered, the faintly sweet smell of pastries and the waft of coffee enveloped you two. You gawked at the mesmerising scenery, while Sunday asked for an available booth that's more hidden from the public eye.
The seats were soft, and pliable as you took your seat, still taking in the view of the bakery. You hear Sunday clearing his throat and tapping the table, your gaze shifting to him. He points to the menu. You understand his cue and take to reading it, your eyes scanning the plethora of options as Sunday does the same.
“Have you.. been here before?”
“I have visited once in the past. With my sister.”
“Ah, how is Robin?”
Your eyes settle on a particular option, as the silence between you two fills with comfortable conversation,
“She has been well. Are you looking forward to her performance at the coming Festival?”
You blink as you realise. How could you forget? The entire reason you and the rest of the crew even came to Penacony! This was the guy who was gonna put everyone into a coma!
“O-Oh, uh, yes! March has been talking non-stop about it, so..”
You chuckle awkwardly, flustered as he caught you a bit off guard. He hums, his face indifferent and neutral as your words process in his mind.
“I suppose I shall expect you in the audience, then?”
“March will drag me to the front, so you'll probably get a clear view of me in my uncomfortable glory.”
That seems to elicit a small, soft chuckle from him, as his eyes land on a specific item on the menu, seeming to have decided his own liking.
“Very well. I'll look forward to it.”
Soon enough, a waitress comes up to the table, and begins taking your orders.
–
“It does seem a tad scary, but the view is always beautiful in the Astral express.”
“I'm sure of it. It sounds wonderful.”
Sunday listens to you dutifully, as you continue talking. Somewhere along the way, your discomfort at the awkward silence between you two led to you talking and filling in the silence, your coffee cup hanging idly in your hands. One thing led to another, as both of you started talking about your childhood memories, tea flavours, desserts, and so on. You find Sunday has been easy to converse with. You'd been ignoring the constant buzzing of your phone – most likely achievements or quests that popped up constantly wherever you went.
You take another sip from your coffee as Sunday takes his initiative to talk, listening to him well, and chuckling slightly at one or the other thing.
“I came to know tea is supposed to be made with hot water, but by then I'd gotten accustomed.”
You giggle, slightly in disbelief,
“Well, do you like iced tea now?”
Sunday shakes his head,
“I prefer coffee, more than that. Perhaps due to needing it more than a preference..”
His eyes trail to your cup, as you hold it in your hands. You follow his gaze,
Is something wrong? He'd been glancing at your cup a few times now, but you didn't comment on it before.
“Is.. something wro–”
Your words are cut off as your phone loudly rings, making you almost fumble and drop your coffee as you hurriedly take your phone.
It's March!
Crap, you forgot.
“Sorry, I uh..”
You scroll through the plethora of notifications, almost all of them missed calls and various texts.
“It seems your companions were searching for you.”
You look up, as Sunday looks into the distance, Stelle and March running towards you.
–
It was strange how things progressed since you came to Penacony.
Some of your equipment took ages to level up, the others taking barely anything before they hit their maximum level. Your friendship level progressed pretty highly on some days, and barely moved an inch on other days.
Your friendship level with Sunday, on the other hand, shot up to a 5. Not even anyone on the Astral Express had that level.
You only noticed it a fraction before you cleared all your notifications at once, swiped away before your finger had the chance to tap on it.
Regardless, that wasn’t your exact concern as of late. The story of Penacony had been well under way now, and things were starting to pick up.
As of recent, you haven't been able to remember the quest contents as much as you used to, only remembering enough in the last moment to avert an extremely bad decision – at least for yourself. Your own personal missions left you alive by a hair's breadth.
But if that didn't upset you – your crew did. The pressure of everything happening on Penacony seemed to have started to weigh down on your team, as they barely regard you anymore. You could technically blame it on the system – it's been trying desperately to revive and fix itself as the game progresses. You might be interfering with the inner workings, so you suppose it's only natural the game tries to limit your interactions with the world.
So for the most part, you've resigned yourself to be an NPC; walking around all of the tourist attractions, getting who knows how many cups of coffee, trying on various clothing items, and occasionally running into Sunday. The first few times, you awkwardly fiddled with your phone for optional dialogues, but as time went on, you felt more comfortable. Regardless, it's not like anything you say can technically avert him from his current plan. It's been in the schemes for who knows how long? As of now, it's less complicating to remain ignorant and act unknowing, and enjoying another walk with him as he surveys the Dreamscape. Considering how close you two might be getting, you'll probably end up telling him a few secrets from your past.
-
“The Grand theatre is Penacony’s main attraction.”
Sunday’s face is illuminated by it in the distance, as he stands, staring at it. His voice is barely audible, seemingly as if he speaks to himself. But that idea is swept under the rug the moment he turns slightly to you.
When was this cutscene? You curse your memory, the fog of your mind still not cleared from when you first came to this world,
“Have you decided to attend?”
Truthfully, you didn’t want to. Considering the story, you actually knew the event wasn’t going to happen. But in the case it did..
Options:
□ “Ill be there first in line to enter.”
□ “Im thinking about it.”
□ “probably not..”
“..I have.”
You hesitantly answer.
“You haven’t made up your mind.”
Sunday states, more as a fact than a question. You can’t blame him, considering the hesitance apparent in your voice.
“..out of everyone, I’d hoped you would have attended.”
The options flicker and appear, but before you can press and respond, he continues,
“I understand. How has your family been?”
He turns to face you, you stay silent for a moment, before humming and clicking on an option,
□ “They’re alright.”
□ “I hope they’re all okay.”
□ “I wouldn’t really know..”
“Ah, uh.. we’re all kind of in our separate ways right now, so.. I wouldn’t really know.”
“I see.”
Both of you stand in silence, as you follow his gaze to the glowing theatre. After a moment, Sunday breaks his silence,
“When I was a child, I was particularly soft-spoken. Back then, Robin used to stand up for me frequently.”
Your ears perk up slightly. Is he talking about a childhood memory right now?
“One day, she wasn’t around, taking a few extra music lessons. The other kids were simply curious enough to take me in.”
You hum, listening to him intently. Your eyes gaze over his features – softly shaded by the cold light of the theatre, and illuminated by the yellow lights of the path.
“We were all kids. One of them pulled and broke my wing that day.”
You gasp, involuntarily. Ouch.
But sunday only chuckles at your reaction, his eyes downwards and distant. You don't think he finds it funny.
“But do you know? Right after that - they visited me. Day after day. Every step of recovery. Every recess when I had to sit back, they accompanied me. I thought about it recently. Humanity is worth saving.”
You stay silent, before smiling. The silence seems pleasant over you two, as you stare at the Grand Theatre in the distance.
“That, is when human spirit and strife first piqued my interest.”
You blink, and turn to look at him, the smile on your face faltering,
“What must the weak, the misfortunate, and the falsely accused do to gain balance within this world?”
You’re left speechless for a moment. It seems even the system cannot exactly provide you any dialogue options, as you glance over to your phone.
“..balance in the world isn’t achievable, which is why the human spirit strives to fix it.”
You stay silent, listening to him.
“Would a bird that cannot fly be allowed to, simply because it yearns to? Would it be righteous of you, or of the bird, to allow the freedom and death of the vast sky? Is it still righteous, if you withhold its freedom?”
He inhales, slowly, speaking in a low voice, wavering.
“Is death the only comprehensible freedom life offers, beside slumber, to the weak? Is that truly freedom?”
Sunday turns to look at you – his golden eyes almost searing into your soul.
You break out into a sweat, panicking as you check your phone, desperately trying to find an option when–
System Error: options not available
Shit, shit, shit. Holy crap. Can you even speak right now?
You're left silently staring at Sunday. He stares back before resigning to quietly look away.
You should leave.
—
Your memory seems to be strangely affected – either because you haven't been able to adjust to the new world, or you just haven't been able to adapt to Penacony.
You groan and slump into the couch of your room, in the real world. You keep forgetting to charge your phone – which isn't technically a hassle; you can access the same menu options, it's just more.. time-consuming. Not to mention you lose your only source of dialogue option pop ups.
How long has this been going on? You knew Penacony had a vast and complicated storyline, but living it feels entirely different. Feeling it is entirely bizarre. No wonder your head's spinning.
But thankfully, it should end soon. Your last quest is to face off Sunday in his boss form. You and your members have decided to meet up at the Grand Theatre, where the event will take place.
You place your phone into charging, and right on cue, March pops up into your room. She stumbles around your room a bit the moment you turn your back, even hear her drop and accidentally knock over some items on her way, simply laughing at the girl, as you continue packing up and preparing for the final “showdown”. You disregard her words, when she tells you she felt something push her.
-
You're not sure when the next cutscene plays.
You're in the grand theatre; just having defeated Sunday, and collectively waiting to return to the Astral Express. This is when you meet Boothill and Black Swan, where she wakes you up using Misha as a fallacy within Ena's dream.
But you aren't waking up.
You've just been stranded in the empty grand theatre after the darkness lifted.
You try to turn your phone on – but its busted. March must have disconnected the plug when she stumbled across a few things.
You sigh, irritated and antsy, choosing to walk ahead and look warily at the mechanical statues. The quest description is empty; devoid of any explanation. The title is vague and doesn't indicate much. Are you stuck in the loading screen? What the hell is going on?
And just as you are about to shout out for help – Sunday appears. There he is, on the stage. But this time, there's no spotlight. He stares down at you, emptily. You're creeped out for the lack of a better word, feeling your skin crawl with every second he stares. The silence is paper thin and thickly dense at the same time; electrified with tension and the unknown.
He makes the first step, slowly descending down and towards you.
“You are an outsider.”
System error: cannot process dialogue
“You do not belong here.”
System error: cannot proceed further
“I do not belong here.”
System warning: further interaction in this context may lead to irreversible da–
Sunday's hand rips through the warning, causing it to glitch violently, and disappear. You're scared, your throat constricting and your heart almost lurching out of your chest as he continues walking towards you, eyes searing into your soul,
“We do not belong here.”
Beep!
Options:
□ We do not belong here
□ I do not belong here
□ You do not belong here
□ We belong together
■ There is nothing else left for you here. You cannot turn back. There is no other option.
The screen glitches out, as Sunday stands before you, his hand reaching out,
“Tell me. What is your name?”
You can't access anything – the menu, the quests, your inventory, nothing. You stare almost endlessly in horror, as Sunday speaks of your real name.
You shouldn't have used it on that coffee cup.
-
#moonink#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr x gender neutral reader#hsr x y/n#hsr x male reader#hsr x you#hsr x reader#yandere hsr x you#yandere hsr x reader#hsr yandere#yandere hsr#hsr sunday x y/n#hsr sunday x reader#sunday hsr#hsr sunday#hsr sunday x you#yandere hsr sunday#honkai star rail x reader#yandere honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail x you#honkai star rail sunday#yandere honkai star rail#yandere sunday x you#yandere sunday x reader#yandere sunday#sunday x you#sunday x y/n#sunday x reader
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Imagine Yandere!Sunday who babytraps you, what, you wanna leave him? no way, you have to stay with him, not like you have a choice. You're his pretty little bird after all, so even if he has to drug your meal n fuck a baby into you to make you stay with him, he doesn't mind. Pressing you into a mating press as he fucks you through a lot of rounds. Surely to fix this broken relationship, you just need a child to take care of, stay with him and complete his dream of a happy family!
#𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐄'𝐒 :: 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 (ᵔ◡ᵔ)#tw yandere#tw dark content#hsr smut#hsr x y/n#hsr x you#hsr x reader#honkai star rail smut#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x you#sunday smut#sunday x reader#sunday x you#sunday x y/n#yandere x reader#yandere smut
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Yandere Genderbent Kafka using spirit whisperer to make Y/n give him a kiss but then when Y/n breaks out of it she’s like, “you didn’t need to do that, I would given you one anyway” and then they keep kissing cause Kafka likes her too much.
ur ur ureakwkwm I hate the drawings
I swear whenever I go past any mini comics I post, I make an incomprehensible noise to ease the cringe of the dialogue and art. I got lazy at the last one too 🌝
so basically elio has another mission for kafka buts it’s risky so kafka’s just like ‘I shall have no regrets if I die’
mitsuri-like reader. I was looking at fanart of kny and I just wanted to make reader have her personality for this one.(woohoo reader has personality this time)
YALL I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DRAW KISSING JUST IMAGINE IT(image added for people scrolling)
so basically u kiss and Kafka is shocked for a sec before he goes in for another
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#x reader#y/n#y/n x character#x y/n#hsr x you#hsr x y/n#hsr fanart#genderbent kafka#hsr kafka x reader#yandere kafka#kafka x you#kafka x y/n#kafka honkai star rail#hsr kafka#kafka x reader#kafka
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˚˖𓍢ִ໋🍒✧˚.🎀༘⋆ 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜.
❝ heaven is my baby, suicide's her father, opulence is the end. ❞ - lana del rey.
various! yandere! honkai star rail men on how they claim you ~
🎀 I just wanted to make a little post which features my favorite male HSR characters lolz. Also, there's zero reason why I picked the song for the title other than the fact that it is for the ✨ aesthetic ✨!
❥ 𝐉𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐔𝐀𝐍 !
What better way than to leave a mark on his beloved than by his mere presence alone? Jing Yuan is a simple man in his core, even if his tactical nature or even mischievous side can get carried away at times, The General is all too aware of his influence on the Lofu.
The sun could stop shining, the sky could fall and darkness could envelop the whole galaxy but not even that could erase the impact that Jing Yuan has left on you.
Wandering eyes follow you everywhere you go, quaint whispers have become a daily occurrence for you as the entirety of the Lofu knows who you lover is. Some praise and envy your position as The General is known to be handsome, kind and strong. They secretly spit at you and curse your very existence, nasty jealousy rotting them to their core as you march on like a solider to war, aimless and uncertain.
There is also of course the opposite end of the spectrum - adoring fans who just gush about your so called relationship with the dashing general. Hours are wasted scrolling away on your phone as you browse through the endless sea of lovey dovey articles, pictures taken you weren't even aware of that existed, and a plethora of other things you could even bother to remember.
All he needed to do was to just give you a nice golden collar to seal the deal. At least that would be the more obvious way of him trying to brand you as his own sweetheart.
He had his own little secret though. A velvet box was kept hidden away in his desk, ready to be opened on a special occasion.
Depending on how you got on with the general in the future, the little thing in the box was either going to make you the happiest person in the world or, he really would finally shackle you with gold.
❥ 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐘 !
Sunday, ever the gentleman, would try to remain subtle about his feelings towards you in public. There are just some things that you do not do, nor share with the outside world.
This is a rule he always tells you to follow.
Still, all he needs to do is to speak. Honeyed words fall from his lips like candy, always so sweet, so addictive, so passionate. Even a man like Sunday, who is known for keeping his cool, cannot hide his infatuation with you. He rambles and rambles, sometimes even losing himself in his thoughts as he sings his praises for you, like the lovesick fool that he is.
Sunday likes to think that he is being cool, suave, but he is literally anything but.
Sometimes, he gets a little too carried away. Sometimes, his darker desires get the better of him, which can set you off a little. He's always so sweet and apologetic whenever he upsets you...
Please, he says through gritted teeth.
Don't mind my ramblings. They don't mean anything. Truly, they do not.
Disregard those pleas entirely as they are nothing but hollow. All one needs to do is to look into his crazed eyes, and that is where you will find out just how true everything he's saying really is.
❥ 𝐉𝐈𝐀𝐎𝐐𝐈𝐔 !
This sly fox has such a hard time keeping his hands to himself... In all honesty, can you even blame him? Whenever he sneaks up on you, Jiaoqiu cannot help but to place his hands literally anywhere on your soft body and he is not shy about showing his true feelings.
Bearing his pearly white fangs, Jiaoqiu likes to bite from time to time.
The desire to do so is further enhanced with every sweet noise you make. Now now, don't cover your mouth, be nice! Every squeal, sigh, groan, even scream are so precious to him... Don't deny him the pleasure of not being able to listen to you.
It's very cruel of you, he says with a pout.
In the cover of night, he likes to trace the markings he left on you with his tongue, maybe even adding even more marks in the process. If you bleed a little, it's all fine and dandy.
You always taste sweet to him.
And the thought of other people being able to see the red bruises which bloom into hideous purple in green bruises on your neck... My goodness, he thinks to himself.
He could just devour you whole.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere imagines#yandere x you#yancore#yanderecore#yandere aesthetic#honkai star rail#yandere hsr#hsr x reader#hsr x you#yandere hsr x reader#yandere hsr x you#yandere jing yuan#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan#jiaoqiu#hsr jiaoqiu#hsr jiaoqiu x reader#yandere jiaoqiu#yandere scenarios#yandere sunday#hsr sunday#hsr sunday x reader#yandere sunday x reader#hsr jing yuan
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Chiaroscuro
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Dr Ratio x [ Gender Neutral ] Reader
Synopsis: There is a wilted daffodil resting between the pages of Ratio's memories. Tags: POV Dr. Ratio, Fluff and Humor and Angst, Hurt/Comfort (?), Slow-burn (oh my), Right Person Wrong Time (oh dear), Strangers to Friends, Reader is Older than Ratio, We speak in the Language of Flowers here, Literary References and Allusions, Exploration of Academic Struggles, Jealous!Ratio, Exploration of Grief, Slight Yandere!Dr Ratio, My Interpretations of Ratio's Past and Ideologies (because hyv won't tell me), Brief Aventurine Appearance TW(s): Toxic Relationships, Toxic Family Dynamics, Implications of Physical Abuse (not condoned by Ratio) Author's Note: At long last, my ‘thesis’ on Dr. Ratio is finished :') I've been working on this fic since June 2024 and finally gathered enough willpower to push through the rest of it. I started this fic with the sole goal of torturing Ratio but ended up falling in love with him halfway through this fic- as such the direction may have shifted orz Please forgive any unintentional errors and get cozy <3
「 Word Count : 11k 」 「 Artwork Credits 」 「 Read On AO3 」
i. Panorama.
They say, the best years of a human's life are spent before boards painted with chalk scribbles and around those of one's ages, filled with careless laughter and weaving hopes for the distant future.
Veritas Ratio has always disagreed with this belief and backed his own with a multitude of reasoning. For one, those so crowned ‘best years’ are not to be wasted through wishing your fantasies would come to fruition on their own. Secondly, his experiences run contrary to the images illustrated by the majority of the population. Which, fall as it might within the grounds of personal grudge, has enough weight to not be disregarded entirely, he'd argue if necessary.
If confronted on his bitter feelings regarding the schooling years of a person's life, there is a possibility that the erudite Doctor will falter and then incoherently mutter something about it not being a downright horrifying experience.
The chances of receiving further clarification from that point decreases significantly and will be entirely dependent on Ratio's mood, which, isn't perceived to be the most agreeable on most days.
In the rare case that luck shines upon the inquirer and Veritas Ratio's stern edges soften with nostalgia, there will be but one name that'll leave his lips in an uncharacteristically somber cadence.
If certain events had transpired differently, the recollections of that day would've been far sweeter than it is now — but still, the parasite known as nostalgia begs to alter his memories. It attempts to soothe the cuts gained from reaching towards aspirations far beyond his capabilities with cursory glances from the sun, and daisy petals hidden in the crevices of dusty tomes.
In the days Veritas Ratio treaded in an environment where nearly everything was twice his height, carrying expectations no one would bother to understand, he'd pledged to himself to not fold before irrational demands just because he wasn't a sight one would normally see in an institution full of burgeoning adults.
He was no stranger to the attention his genius brought, far more so the unwanted part of it.
Which was why he'd stubbornly made his goals clear to his titular peers within the first week of his attendance, much to their bewilderment.
Any suggestions for free ‘assignment completion service’ was shut down curtly and neither did the prodigious new student bother to partake in other youthful activities — but surprisingly, Veritas's distant countenance hadn't succeeded in putting a dent to his overall popularity.
Perhaps that is the reason the requests for private tutoring sessions and borrowing of notes never did cease, because despite his attitude, no one could deny his intelligence. And that, ultimately became his label in that university. Consequently, no one went out of their way to seek him out unless it concerned academics — except one person.
Ratio thinks he might've been witnessing a meteor streak the night sky instead, because relatively speaking, he couldn't trace where you appeared from with just his bare eyes.
(Though now that he thinks again, it might've been because he'd not bothered to look beyond the white board of the lecture halls, haughty as he'd been.)
—And as momentary as said event, you'd stunned him with an inquiry that did not match any of the others that'd preceded your kind.
“Why are you all alone during lunch, little boy? Whoa, you're studying even now?”
He’d barely missed the astonished gleam in your eyes when he parted from marking an important section from his book in a flinch. The unacquainted sight beside his desk had put the functions of his brain at a temporary standstill, before resuming with a barrage of questions as you observed him rather amusedly.
The small smile that appeared on your face next halted any of those inquiries from gaining voice as Veritas's reflexes worked to catch the objects tossed his way.
“Take these for now. Skipping meals isn't good for you, you know? You can't achieve your dreams if you don't take care of your health first.”
Veritas blinked owlishly at the apple and sandwich now resting on his lap, the words of advice you stated in a rather sing-song tone barely registering in his head as he vacillated between demanding your identity and scoffing at your audacity.
Much to his chagrin, you evaded his burning stare and waltzed out of the vacant lecture hall before he could even open his parched mouth, again.
(What he recalls first before this peculiar interaction now is how the usually mundane sunlight had embraced your form that day.)
He only saw more and more of you from then onwards, much to his initial displeasure. For some mysterious reason, you'd made it your hobby to nag at and subtly coddle him in ways that made any other passing student raise eyebrows.
Whether it be dragging him to places and sometimes forcing him to eat lunch or separating him from his beloved books to 'refresh his mind' at some other corner of the campus, you never faltered ; despite all the scowls and passive aggressive quips he sneaked in.
Only after some research did Veritas discover you to be one among the seniors and, he'd admit it somewhat begrudgingly, you were a senior in every sense of the word.
Although, that knowledge did not aid him in answering the most begging question: why were you going out of your way to guide him through the perilous terrains of university? He'd initially suspected you to demand recompense in the same ways the others coveted.
Perhaps you were an expert manipulator, struggling to wrap up your last year in the institute and as a result, decided to prey on the genius through teasing words and coddling.
Ratio was fully prepared to face you when you showed your true face — except, his hypothesis ended in utter failure as that expected unravelling never came.
So, on another of your usual kidnappings meetings under the old oak tree at the far end of the campus, Veritas decided to soothe the scorching paranoia in his head.
“It’s because you remind me of my little siblings! It's been such a long time since I've seen them and I just really miss them, you know?”
He doesn't know. Neither the sentiments that are apparently driving you to take care of him nor whether you're being sincere.
Here's the most annoying thing about you: despite how much of a genius Veritas is crowned to be, he's experienced repeated failures in deducing what lies beneath that benign smile of yours.
At least there are formulas and theories to explain or, get closer to the enigmas of the universe. But whatever and whoever moulded you into your present state had clearly forgotten to leave a loophole behind for curious minds like his to decipher.
“Besides, I understand how you must be feeling in this environment where everyone is half a decade older than you — even though you like to act tough. I know that there's a seed of loneliness that's ready to burst into a giant tree with the right incentive and you're just holding onto the last of your sanity to not let that happen.”
Ratio's fingers halt midway through flipping to a different page of his book. Your observation silences him long enough to make the rustles of leaves permeate the atmosphere, before he forces his brows to furrow and his lips to quirk down.
“It’s rude to make assumptions about someone you barely know.”
The purple head watched as you leaned against the palm of your hand, as though the sneer on his face was nothing worth fretting.
“Aww, did I catch little Veri off guard? No need to be in such denial, I saw you gape like an owl at my words. But owls are my favorite bird, don't worry!” The hostile expression on his face morphs into surprise as you ruffle his hair with your free hand with more enthusiasm than required.
“Rest assured, I'll take care of you for as long as I'm here, little Veri.”
“I’d appreciate it more if you don’t.”
That earned him a laugh and messier hair.
ii. Anamorphosis
Little Veri.
If there was something he despised more than the shrill voices of his classmates, it'd be that nickname. You might've been accurate in your choice of words in a literal sense, but for the first time, honesty had bruised his ego.
The prodigy was not accustomed to being treated his age, he was always commended as ‘mature’ and being ‘beyond his years’. Yet you had never even bothered mentioning this and instead, always poked at the suppressed child that slumbered at the deepest corner of his heart.
What he loathed even more was how every repeat of that ridiculous nickname actually made him feel quote-on-quote ‘little’. No, how you allowed a leeway for that teenage heart to peek through from under a canopy of knowledge and caution.
Intentionally or not, you carved a shelter for that little boy to crawl beneath in moments that no one would care to glance at.
It was a matter of great shame although, while his teachers had handed him the basics to deciphering the laws of the universe, no one had bothered to teach him how to respond to such kindness.
Upon further digging, the genius was surprised to find that your merit resided in the top five of your entire year. While he hadn't taken you for a dimwit (he'd rather eat dirt than utter such sacrilege) his astonishment stemmed from the fact that he'd never seen an academic material accompanying you on campus.
He’d even thought your sole task was to bother him with your half-a-decade years old wisdom upon a particular session of agitation. But after clarity grasped his mind, he realized that his suspicions were simply baseless in an institution as competitive as Veritas Prime.
Instead of journals and papers concerning your major, Veritas often saw you seeking refuge in musings soaked in fantasy and your rationale behind such escapades puzzled the mind of his younger self greatly.
“And then the male lead gave a bouquet of bluebells to the female lead, declaring his feelings! Isn't that so romantic?”
Ratio scrutinized your form hunched over from giddiness derived from materials that appeared alien to his eyes, stacks of textbooks wept at the corner of the table in abandonment.
“Bluebells? I thought people gave roses for matters like this?” sunset orange eyes swept over the incredulity blooming on your visage.
You sighed as though he was the most exasperating person you had the misfortune of dealing with, “It’s because bluebells are the symbol of eternal and undying love. Roses are undoubtedly lovely but as you said, if anyone was to give roses to someone, everyone and their grandmas would have an inkling about what is happening between them! Giving someone a bouquet of bluebells on the other hand, is far more secretive and exciting.”
“I don't really understand but alright.”
Ratio almost drops his pen at the flick to his forehead, “So unromantic! You're never getting a girlfriend if you continue being like this, kid!”
His free hand whips up to shield his skin against further damage, he feels the muscles of his temple twitch in profound irritation. “I don't need—”
“Yes yes, you're too preoccupied with the pursuit of knowledge to bother with fickle things like romance blah blah blah.” Ratio's eye roll almost synchronizes with yours.
Veritas knows and he isn't ashamed to admit that he's not a romantic person. The path he walks on has no necessity for abstruse emotional attachment and sentimentalities.
On the contrary, what he abstained from seemed to be the centrepiece of your interest.
Your eyelashes flutter as you rest your elbows on the table, eyes searching for a trace of your wishes among the litany of bookshelves, “But if anyone was to confess to me, I'd want them to give me a bouquet of bluebells instead of trying to articulate their feelings.”
Ratio raised a brow as your sigh echoed throughout the grand library, “And how, pray tell, would they know of your preference?”
“That’s the thing, little Veri!” you snapped your fingers as though you'd solved the greatest dilemma plaguing mankind, “I wouldn't talk about these fantasies to just anyone. If someone was to give me a bouquet of bluebells, it'd mean that we're close enough to know these secrets and then there'd be a high chance that the feelings are mutual. No awkward moments, we'd know what we are without even speaking!”
The purple head observed as you rambled, the light from the sinking afternoon sun filtered through the stained glass shone on you. A scoff escaped him before he could stomp it down, his arms crossed almost derisively.
“And is that your sole ambition in life?”
“Of course not,” your reply was brisk and simple, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
You met Ratio's perplexed gaze with an unusual calm, “If by ambition, you mean what I want to do after all this studying, well — I want to be a teacher.”
Veritas couldn't hold back the surprise from soaking his words this time, “A teacher? Why?”
But you seemed to find great entertainment in his reaction, if your twinkling eyes was anything to go by and the genius isn't even taken aback this time; your sources of amusement would never be the guesswork of anyone.
Your shoulders shifted as you shrugged, “Why not? Teaching is one of the most noble professions out there, but it warrants great caution and wisdom. Hmm, come to think of it— what do you want to be, Veri?”
Ratio nearly flinched as you expertly shifted the attention to him, glossing over it with a fake cough. “I…” his throat constricted as you leaned in ever so slightly, “—don’t know.”
“Whaaaat?” you backed away just as quickly, dragging the syllables of that word to emphasize your disappointment. “Tsk tsk, so you're just studying blindly without any clear goal? That isn't going to get you far, regardless of how intelligent you are.”
He knows that, but what is he supposed to do if his mind blanks when he tries to envision himself in any conventional field? In fact, he considers it as one of the flaws of the educational system. How a student is always urged to find their place in the grand scheme of matters but never guided through them ; or, at least, given clear pointers.
It'd also be careless to label Veritas completely clueless about his situation. What he does cradle, or was compelled to bear was not borne of his personal wishes. But with time, his mind accepted it as his own, though a part of his heart always ached with emptiness.
You cleared your throat upon noticing that a great conflict had rendered the genius speechless, “Well... as for the reason as to why I want to be a teacher, it's because I want to help those students who struggle to find their way in this vast world. Regardless of where they rank in the merit position or what ‘status’ society has assigned them. Granted, this struggle may continue even after someone has graduated and while I may not be able to help every single person, I still want to try my best. After all, that should be the goal of our educational system — in my opinion, at least!”
You chuckled somewhat bashfully afterwards, remnants of it settled on the way your lips curled. There was something so succinct yet undoubtedly natural about that smile, like petrichor and he felt a pang of regret hitting his ribcage for not noticing it before.
Although it might not appeal to some, to many it brought solace even before the sun could sweep aside the canopies of darkened clouds.
Something that's appearance was preceded only by the tears of the skies, it stunned the mind that such beauty could be unearthed from a phenomenon so seemingly insignificant.
And that realization appalled the young scholar.
iii. Tenebrism
Ratio did not comprehend the value of your presence until he was deprived of it.
Due to certain circumstances, the genius had learned to be contingent with the fact that he'd have to navigate the majority of his life all by himself. Of course, ignoring simpletons and self-centered personnel came easy to him as well.
What the scholar wasn't conscious of, or was too prideful to acknowledge was the harrowing vacancy in some obscure corner of his heart that yearned for a deeper connection. It would take little effort for him to rationalize this longing with his age and return his attention to far more pressing concerns.
But it seemed that the more he tried to silence the wails of his feelings, the more cacophonous they became.
You'd spoiled Veritas a good amount, with your willing enthusiasm to tail after him whenever you had the reprieve.
So, when you abruptly stopped your usual pursuit in exchange of accompanying another person whose face he couldn't bother to remember, the young scholar was left to deal with a surge of emotions he had little control over.
Said emotions, were tame enough to be kept under check within the first few weeks as he learnt that the purpose of this sudden acquaintance had been for the completion of a group project.
Where the scholar's composure did start to falter was when you maintained your distance from him even after the fulfilment of said project.
And Ratio despised the sparks of resentment that'd flare up in his chest each time you'd pass him by while chatting so deliriously with that no-name stranger.
He was thrown in a limbo the first time he witnessed someone else in the position that he held and although he stubbornly convinced his mind that it was for the best ; each time the scene would replay in the corridors and crevices of the university, Veritas could see yellow hyacinths bloom in his peripheral.
He's certain now that he must've been losing his mind, or at least was on the verge of (and for such a childish cause at that) because he took shelter in a superstitious practice and ignored as many meals as he could in the futile hope that you'd come back and reprimand him again.
Ratio would have applauded you if he hadn't been so consumed by all those unsavory chemical reactions in his mind.
It didn't help his case that the first time he'd bothered to take in the environment, he was reminded of the fact that, you had others who'd accept you, but he only had you.
His frustration must've reached a new peak, because not even the most persistent of his irritable classmates were brave enough to approach him as he continued to brood hopelessly.
It wouldn't be long until he would gather the motivation to finally propel himself out of that dark space, but the method his younger self employed to do so, embarrasses the present him to no end.
“They did what?”
Veritas needn't open his eyes to picture your visage colored in shock, he opted instead to maintain his somber facade, arms folded, and brows furrowed to complete the act.
“But I never thought them to be that kind of person, quite the opposite, in fact.” followed your reluctant admission.
Ratio outstretched his palm as though enticing you to accept the news, “One can deduce so much about the ocean by gazing at its surface. The facts are before you, with substantial evidence. Whether you believe them or not depends entirely on you. I only thought I should inform you before it reaches the Principal, that is.”
He could envision your eyes oscillating between his firm countenance and the unseen prospects proposed by his words. Discreetly, he peered at your fidgeting and unconsciously held his breath.
He'd done the calculations before approaching you, the worry oozing from your gaze confirms that you've heard word of it from his ‘associates’ already and the fact that you didn't try to defend the person further tells him you've done some digging through the news portals of the university yourself.
Step by step, you've unknowingly assisted in concluding this problem.
The young scholar silences the quivers of his conscience before they can rage and foil all progress. As for this friend of yours, there were embers left behind from misdeeds of long ago. He merely reignited that flame so that those crimes would face proper punishment — although which was not his principal goal. To make sure you don't get caught in the inferno was, or at least, that's what he tells his conscience.
A half-resigned hum from you saves the scholar from spiralling, “I’ll believe you and will avoid them for the time being. Though I have my own theories, you have a point. There is no telling what is beneath a person's exterior.”
Veritas simply nods to that conclusion.
Your eyelashes flutter as you drift into a brief reverie, before fixating on his rigid person. “Ah, but what is going on with you, kiddo? You've been skipping meals again, haven't you?”
The young scholar blinks in stupefaction at the shrunken proximity between you two, the single finger beneath his chin with which you scrutinize his visage nearly burns his skin. He can hardly process what observation you're making through the dizzying fragrance of jasmines.
“I am in perfect health, as you can see—”
“For so long! It's only a matter of when that you'll faint while calculating nonsense.” you sharply interject and withdraw the searing contact. Strangely, Ratio makes no face this time.
“Come to think of it, it's been a while since we've had lunch together. Oh, I have so much to share with you! Let's not waste anymore time, let's go!”
There is good cause for why the wise warn against temptations. Bit by bit, piece by piece, oh so painfully obstinate — you fed him that poison, rendering his sharp mind a mess of inebriating chemical reactions.
You were none the wiser to the impact your fickle gestures made on him and soon, Ratio's biggest weakness, curiosity silenced the prodding of his conscience.
He gained little incentive to step far away from the leering shadows, as the brilliance of the sun made it so his fixation wouldn't stray towards the darkness.
iv. Tachisme
“Suffering is part and parcel of extensive intelligence and a feeling heart. A man who is really great, it seems to me, must suffer considerably here below.”
Your sigh weighs down on the silence of the university's library, a dull thud causing a crack on it as you set down the tome on the dark wooden table.
“I couldn't help but think of you while reading this novel.” bright orange eyes watch the way you cushion your cheek against your knuckles minutely.
“Suffering, misery, sadness, whatever you name it is inconsequential to any human being. But I feel like, those who are labelled as being ‘different’ than the majority experience a certain kind of those challenges. The ones that are weighty on the tongue when they attempt to express it, perhaps inscrutable to even themselves.” Ratio mulls over your musings, briefly closing his eyes.
“Everyone’s experiences are bound to be different.” comes his easy response.
The furrow in your brows suggests the conflict his words stirred instead of assurance, “You take everything so coolly, but I can't help but worry for you. You may be calm and certain about everything now but there's no guarantee you'll always be this way. On top of it all, you reject close relationships, thus narrowing your options to lean on someone should a sizable problem come.”
Ratio catches himself before his eyes can roll sideways, “Surely you didn't drag me out of a lecture just to nag me again?” his subconscious notes the reduced exasperation that prospect stirs within himself.
You often worry for a future that has yet to seize anyone. While the young scholar commends your far-sightedness, he really cannot understand the use of losing one's mind over events that haven't happened yet.
Thinking ahead is helpful, turning that habit into an obsessive frenzy is not.
He observes the way your frown expands, deepens and ultimately loosens up with a sigh. You refrain from broaching the topic further, another quality he appreciates.
Though you don't make an attempt to defend yourself, you refuse to voice out anything else as well, settling your eyes to a distant point in existence.
For once Veritas is ruffled by the silence, so he makes an attempt to change the subject — because counting your eyelashes isn't the most productive thing for a scholar to do.
“It’s not everyday I see you carrying something that doesn't have hearts and glitters on the cover page.” his eyes settle pointedly on the book before you.
You scoff, “One does not survive in Veritas Prime simply from reading light novels.” there's a trace of pride in your admission.
“Oh? So, what does ‘one’ do to maintain their spot in the top five?” Ratio quirks a brow, holding your gaze.
The witty response he anticipates gets replaced by another sigh, puzzling him for an instance, “I’m assuming this is about me never studying within campus. Well, I just like keeping my study space and my socializing space separate. Listening to lectures here and doing the heavy lifting in my room. It's what works for me, in any case.”
There's genuine interest in his next questions, “And what do you do when you get bored while studying? Or when you feel like you can't concentrate anymore?”
You twirl a stray lock of your hair, cheek still resting on your knuckles, “Take a bath to sober myself up, I guess. When your mind is full of garbage, your body will likely not be the cleanest either.”
You shrug, your nonchalant attitude renders his mind to a blank slate. For a while he does nothing but think about your words, though the response he gives matches none of the context.
“I feel like there is so much I don't know about you.”
It's your turn to be surprised, but unfortunately for Ratio, the sight is still too brisk. You break into a fit of laughter, wiggling your brows as though you know something.
“Silly little Veri, let me tell you something. People are like icebergs! We can only see their tips with our bare eyes but to know them in their full capacity, we have to dive down.”
“But the waters are cold.” the young scholar pushes.
Your giggles soften to a smile, “That’s exactly the point.” and you refuse to elaborate further, again.
To reach the heart of the iceberg, one must push through the freezing depths of the ocean. Whether Veritas Ratio has that willpower, is a question left for his future self.
v. Sotto in su
As the days lapsed, more and more memories anchored themselves in Ratio's mind. They brought with them a different seed of emotion, every exchange with his enigmatic senior nurtured and coaxed it to sprout tender leaves.
Before his syllabus could be replaced, the fact had been known to everyone regardless of their relation to the prodigy. If your recurring appearances in Ratio's life and his noticeable tolerance for your presence was anything to go by, it was apparent to anyone with a conscious mind that his opinion of you was at a level above everyone else's.
Exchanges between different years wasn't an uncommon phenomenon, but a friendship with the notoriously detached prodigy was an understandable bewilderment. Though, the students at Veritas Prime quickly learned to use it to their advantage rather than criticizing it — a unanimous realization that Ratio was just a bit more agreeable in your presence.
Not that Ratio was unaware of their schemes, the fact that they construed that he'd tolerate them solely because of your connection further cemented his belief that all these wannabe researchers were still light-years away from the truth they speak to seek.
Albeit, after noticing that he'd been more approachable for students who genuinely wanted to learn rather than to fulfill some pecuniary purpose — he begrudgingly admitted that, there was an influence taking place.
Veritas swiftly ignored the rumors. While not one to waste his time, being with you brought along perspectives that challenged his thinking style. To him, truth has always been beautiful because it will not change, even through the failures in understanding it.
But you're a human being, change is rooted in your constitution.
The cycle of erosion and accretion that makes you you hinders even a brilliant scholar like him in grasping the characteristics of your soul. This form of beauty he was not acquainted with before, admittedly.
Relying too much on either rigidity or malleability will pose problems. It is through the search of a balance can we discover the answers.
It may not be obvious at first glance, but you aspire to guide others through the murky depths of ignorance while pondering this apparent equilibrium — since neither extremes can be eliminated. As strange as that selflessness initially appeared to him, Ratio has developed a sense of respect for your ambitions.
Unfortunately, or fortunately for him, it seemed as though you knew exactly what was transpiring.
In fact, you were conscious of a lot of things ; it's just that you preferred to pretend that you didn't for reasons that he hasn't comprehended yet.
For the longest time he interpreted that thoughtful sparkle in your eyes as just another play of light. Whenever his reactions to your teasing would come off as more animated than last and the flush that he'd try so hard to not let extend to his cheeks do just that — you'd have that nearly imperceptible realization reflected in your eyes. It scratched at the parchedness Ratio hadn't even recognized to be there.
His fear was confirmed to be true one afternoon in a vacant lecture hall, though not through words.
“Is this for me?” sunset orange eyes shone against the shadows that fell on his back.
“Well, do you see anyone else here?” your huff and his eyeroll synchronize.
You patiently held the book covered in elaborate illustrations of flowers for his taking, though what captured the scholar's attention most was the single yellow bloom tied atop with a violet ribbon on the book. He recognized the book to be a copy of the floriography manual he often saw tucked between your collections.
“You’re probably wondering ‘what value will this book bring to you’. Well, as I've said before, studious scholars should never limit their perspectives.” you almost shove the gift into his hands in response to his stunned countenance.
“And,” an accidental brush of your fingers against his hand sends an unwanted shudder through his arteries, “Happy birthday, little Veri.”
You withdraw just as quickly, the hues of the setting sun softening the smile on your face.
Ratio forces himself to look elsewhere, "You're still going to use that ridiculous nickname, huh? What a way to welcome me into adulthood." he mutters, the words leaving a bitter aftertaste that he tries to mask with sarcasm.
He feels your chuckle probing at his heart, taunting the quickened pace in which it revolts against its cage. You shift your gaze to the golden petals resting atop the book, a somber sigh tumbling from your lips.
“— Fair daffodils, we weep to see
You haste away so soon ;
As yet the early-rising sun
Has not yet attained his noon.”
Many see fit to celebrate their first step into adulthood with enthusiastic celebrations, Ratio's eighteenth birthday brought with it a clinging bittersweetness — not that he allowed himself to dwell on it for long, his future plans taking precedence over sentiments.
The lone daffodil had been tucked between a random section of the book you gifted, hidden away from his sight. The border between cowardice and courage was thin, nearly translucent in the manner the result dictated what it would turn out to be.
The journey of uncovering the mysteries of the universe is a similar pursuit. Emerge victorious and you'll be brave, fail and you'll be heralded foolish. Ratio was far from a coward or a foolish man, sometimes not going head-fast into uncertain territories is the mark of intelligence.
He allowed the daffodil to wilt and turned not a page, for he knew in some deep crevice of his subconscious that it'd blight the clarity of his mind with another flood of emotions he did not have the capacity to process.
Luckily, his agony met a premature end as you departed from Veritas Prime by the end of the year with a certificate in hand.
Who knows how many sleepless nights and crushed dreams paved the path for the ink lines on that single piece of parchment. Ratio had been there as the first to congratulate you, it was the least he could do.
He did not proceed farther than that, as you'd made it clear that there would forever be a line he would be unable to trespass.
Ratio was fully aware of the limitations the silly crush that accumulated over the time in your acquaintance brought and he expressed no interest in pushing those boundaries either.
He found solace in the fact that he'd met you at all. He wouldn't say you illuminated his life, for even you always believed it was the individual themselves who possessed that power.
You nudged him towards the path to find his light and that lesson, he wanted to honor all his life.
The memories of your time would stay treasured in his mind and the curve of your smile would be preserved in marble. Without the echo that his ears yearned to capture, he saw fit to isolate his senses from unnecessary stimulation.
Though you'd never grace the corridors of Veritas Prime again, the footprints of your presence etched deep in the genius's memories would never fade.
vi. Trompe l'oeil
His next encounter with you was a tad unexpected, just at the horizon of Ratio putting the full stop to his years at the university.
Veritas’s fingers slackened around the handle of his umbrella, a page or two of the manuscript of his thesis slipping past his grip and drifting along the roaring wind — but his eyes couldn't chase after them. Much too fixated on the way your shoulder bumped with theirs, not at all by accident.
The rain soon cloaked your figures from his spying gaze, the droplets soaking the ends of his clothes failed still to snatch his attention away. In spite of the thunderous cries of the sky, the echo of your laugh was all he could hear.
—
Time never ceased its relentless march; life followed its direction and events moulded more memories.
For the sake of productivity, he had no choice but to push back his curiosity and stay away from your life. His studies and workload helped generously in keeping his mind from wandering to frightful territories at inconvenient instances, though a certain spark nestled deep somewhere in his subconscious.
Before long, his name resounded far beyond the gates of Veritas Prime.
Veritas Ratio, now Dr. Ratio, felt his nerves flare again as he looked at the latest discussions on the university’s online forum, the words “Dr. Ratio Will Surely Snag A Place At The Genius Society, Won’t He?” in bold only tickled his annoyance further.
Ordinarily, he would stay as far away as possible from discussions concerning himself — which was easier said than done.
Aggrandizing anything always leads to disappointment. Ratio's surroundings loved to goad his path, but he knew, such chatter would morph to whispers the moment their expectations were proven false.
Dr. Ratio’s brooding came to a halt at the collision, his reflexes acted and he clasped onto the stranger’s arm before they could fall. He heard leaves crunching under his boots, strangers threw cursory glances at the near-accident.
His lips parted in what a spectator could assume to be the beginning of an apology, but paused upon noticing the words resignation letter on the paper in the stranger's grasp.
Orange eyes flickered, trailing upward, within the fabric of scarlet you burrowed deep in search of comfort from the scare.
You mimicked his earlier attempt, craning your neck for a second to meet his gaze and halting in recognition.
“Veritas… Ratio?”
The addressed scholar blinks, blurting out before he could think, “That’s not what you used to call me.”
There's a scintilla of surprise in your eyes at his unintentional jest, he anticipates a laugh next, but only an awkward quirk of your lips greets him.
Your eyes dart around your environment, before returning to his grasp. Feeling the weight of your stare, he releases his hold with a fake cough.
“I… apologize.” his hand found refuge on the nape of his neck.
“It’s okay, accidents... happen, you know.” you wave him off with your free hand.
A breeze passes through the gap between you two.
It might've just been Ratio’s misjudgement, but he felt as if you were about to run away for a millisecond. Your fingers tightened around the paper in your hold, you gathered yourself with a deep inhale.
“Congratulations on obtaining your fourth doctorate degree! I often discuss your papers in my classes, you are an inspiration to so many people.”
A flicker of sunlight filtered through the leaves above fell and there appeared that smile he knew. Years had gone by, yet the mystery in it remained still out of his reach.
“Thank you,” he tilted his head downward, “I’m glad to hear that you pursued your dream.”
Ratio sneaked a glance, your nod faded into silence. His gaze lingered on your face, the concentrated flush on your right cheek made his brows furrow.
He was no fool to the tension in the air and your unusual fidgety demeanor. He briefly contemplated if he should just depart.
However, he couldn't deny the fact that questions had accumulated throughout the interval of your absence from his life. The differences between the you before him and the you from his memories begged him to probe, to study and learn.
He felt himself drawn to the paper in your hand again, a glint on your ring finger caught his eye. Among the myriad of inquiries battling to escape his lips, the one that’d warred the longest emerged victorious.
“Did they…” he began, uncertain.
“Give you a bouquet of bluebells?”
Your flighty gaze froze to confusion for a moment as you tried to decode his words, Ratio mirrored your gaze as you failed to answer. You quickly blinked away any hints of shock, a forceful bite stopped the trembling of your lips.
(He felt a twist somewhere in his heart.)
“Can we… talk somewhere else?” you suggested. Despite it being the middle of autumn, there's a storm brewing in your eyes.
—
Veritas could see splinters on the cup in his grip, the dark beverage within threatening to spill.
A passing waitress threw the table a concerned glance, but could not find the courage to intervene. The sight of your antsy wringing of hands in his peripheral alerted him to breathe. He loosened his grip on the poor cup of coffee just in time, a burdened exhale following suit.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, “So, what do you intend to do now?”
You fiddled with the band on your ring finger ; within the vacancy of the cafe, to Ratio, it felt as if even such an insignificant gesture gained voice.
The insistence of your silence prompted him to continue, “The culmination of your hard-work, one that stole almost all of your life ; all of those sleepless nights, unsaid sacrifices for the sole wish of helping others — all of it, you're going to let go, just like that? Just because an idiot claims they know better?”
Dr. Ratio could not understand, no matter which angle he looked at it from. The answer to your dilemma was crystal clear to the scholar, he’d be willing to bet it’d be clear to anyone with a functioning brain — and yet, you hesitate.
You continue to shuffle and avert your gaze, sometimes parting your lips to speak but withdrawing the next second.
A person that's found the tunnel’s end should run towards it, but you remain at the precipice of darkness.
“I…” The purple head straightens up at the sound of your voice, it is weak, hopeless ; a complete stranger to who you once were.
You abruptly gather your things, “I’m sorry, please forget I ever said anything —” an innocent glass is knocked off in your haste.
Cold, your hand is chillingly cold as Ratio grabs it, preventing you from running away. The unnatural temperature of it temporarily unsettles the man, but the situation at hand prompts him to push the observation back.
You try to force your wrist out of his grasp, but he presses on, “Can’t you see, that they are ruining you? This is not who you used to be! Your so-called 'fiance' is destroying you, they’ll not stop until you're nothing but a shell of yourself and they can reshape you to their liking!”
“I really have to go —” a vein pops on Ratio’s forehead, the wanton glass hits the floor.
“And why go? To receive another slap from them?” he feels your palm dampen from sweat, pieces of shattered crystal splaying across the tiles.
You look at him in disbelief and he blinks, the sharpness of his words finally cutting him.
The incipiency of an apology gathers at the tip of his tongue, but you halt it from escaping.
“Whatever happens between us, is none of your business, Veritas Ratio.”
If your hand was simply cold, your glare is freezing. It stuns the scholar enough to make his clasp loosen, you quickly snatch your hand away.
You’re two steps in when Veritas rushes to add, unwilling to back down, ���But it was still you who reached out to me.”
The scholar hears the pause in your heels, you don't turn to address him and he doesn't move to obstruct your path either.
The bell signals your departure as the waitress from before rushes to clean the broken glass, leaving Ratio alone with his thoughts.
—
Veritas Ratio has had scarce attachments to worry about in his life.
For better or for worse, it appeared as though the direction of his life was steered towards one particular destination, everything else proved to be transient.
While his surroundings eroded and flourished within the touch of mortal delights, he remained but a spectator, destined to observe but never indulge.
Love. A simple word, yet any singular meaning behind which could still not be agreed upon.
He saw it in the way parents cradled their children, in the eyes of a couple that brushed past him in the streets. Flighty like the union between another pair of his former classmates, strengthened like the wrinkly hold of that couple that sold flowers down the street ; its form, just like its definition, is infinite.
The scholar thinks he's felt it somewhere in his past, or at least the vestiges of it — within the glow of a cryptic smile and a mind that did not yield.
Troublesome as it’d been, it did not conquer him. Ultimately, he wielded enough willpower to move on.
Some say, brilliant minds that toil too long in the territories of the unknown, become dense to the simpler aspects of life. Ratio did not see the inconvenience in this notion for a long time, not when it aided him more than burden him.
That is, until the encounter at the cafe.
If nothing else, it was clear to the prodigy that you had changed, for the worst at that.
The 'you' he’d known would know how to pick yourself up, or more accurately, that ‘you’ wouldn't have allowed things to escalate this far at all.
You would've left this rotten excuse of a relationship the first time they raised their voice, you would never concede to that fatal act of disrespect, under no circumstance would you let such an excuse of a human have such control — he… he hoped.
Ratio leaned back in his chair, a frown creeping in to his face.
For all these outrageous claims that he's been making of the you he was familiar with, how much did he actually know?
Is a year’s observation enough to grant him that badge of familiarity?
It is as you said, who is he to judge you at all?
Within the gloom of his study, his eyes unconsciously met with those etched in marble, the curve of a sun-kissed smile. He hand moved on its own, turning the table-lamp towards the sculpture and indeed, the light has always suited you more than him.
His recollections backtrack to the hazy gaze he saw that day, the encumbrance in them hoisting him up to chase after the itch for answers.
An uncounted number of hours passed, only after perusing a decent pile of tomes did it finally click in his head.
Ratio had no excuses or motivation to defend himself, he most certainly handled the situation poorly.
When the average attempts of leaving such relationships is between seven and twelve, it was insensitive of him to confront you like that.
Cognitions clouded in rage, he ignored the questions he should've asked, the sense of security he should've provided — the one you sought from him — and cornered you abruptly.
Foolish foolish foolish — he felt his fingers tug at his hair, breaths stuck in his lungs. Rationale does not always succeed in helping others see reason, how could he be so careless with you, of all people?
He didn't even know what stage of this hell you were at, how many times you’ve attempted to leave and what leverage they have over you.
Well, it would be most accurate to say he didn't know anything at all and yet, he arrogantly told you to 'just leave'.
The purple-head forced himself to breathe, the self-loathing could be shelved for a later day, what's more important now is finding you again.
He stood up from the heap of tomes, only to pause, does he deserve to seek you out again?
He betrayed your trust and you shut him off for good, should he even bother now?
A distant tug held him back.
Much like before, there is that line between you two that he cannot cross, must not cross.
He’s no longer a teenager in documents, but he doubts you see him as anything more than that ‘little Veri’.
—
The echoes of passing vehicles ricocheted around the streets, but Dr. Ratio’s attention stayed transfixed on the ivory petals in front of him.
A week or so had passed, the ruminations of those doubts kept him away from the confrontation and stole his nights.
It would be easy to cure this ailment, finding you would be but a matter of a few swipes. But that uncertainty, the ghost of a past insecurity, clung to his resolve. As such, peace abandoned him for a while.
A zephyr whispered to him, “Asphodels,”
He hummed without much thought, sunset orange eyes tracing the dulcet lines in those blooms.
“ ‘My regrets will follow you to the grave’, it's not everyday you see someone looking at these flowers with such care.”
If anyone looked straight into the scholar’s eyes at that moment, they'd for sure be able to witness the cogs turning in his brain in them.
Ratio finds you startled once he whips to his left, your presence finally registering in his head.
A prayer, a yearning, your name escapes his lips. But any further speech is obstructed from taking shape.
You’re the first to recover, “I apologize for running away like that the other day. It… was cowardly of me to tell you to mind your own business when I was the one who confided in you first.” your head lowers in appeal.
He’s sure of it now, you must be on the quest of giving him a heart-attack, what with these continuous surprises you’re throwing at him.
Well, if not a fatality, they're at least doing a wondrous job in preventing him from processing the fact in its entirety — you're here, you’re here, you're here.
You found him, again. Just like all those years ago in the lecture hall, all those times he was skipping lunch, on his eightieth birthday and that other day ; it was always you finding him.
(Has he ever broken through his pride and cowardice and tried to find you instead?)
The scholar hastens to join you, “No, it was my incompetence in failing to understand your situation that pushed you to leave. I completely failed to provide you with safety when you trusted me. For that, I beg your forgiveness.”
He couldn't see it, but he could picture your disbelief at his behavior. Your fist mirrored his, “No, it was clearly my stupidity—”
“Nonsense!” his exclamation earned him a flinch from you. He subconsciously straightened up to drive his point across, “It was me who —”
In the hurry and flurry of emotions, your head bumped with his, ending his tirade prematurely.
Your eyes settle on him, a car runs past your perplexed figures and then, the streets get cloaked in quietude ; before being filled with your giggle.
Against his control, his lips twitch and laughter bubbles in his chest. He allows them to gain voice and join yours.
You fan your face with your hand as the chuckles skid to an end, Ratio feels his cheeks warmed when he inhales. But none of you bother addressing the previous argument, its result apparent.
You take a deep breath and exhale. The scholar sees sun-glitter in your pupils, “I left them, by the way.”
That sobers him.
“Your…”
“Fiancé, yes. Or well, ex-fiancé now.” as if on cue, Ratio catches your now vacant ring finger.
“They tried to beg me to stay. But to be honest, it was not the first time they appealed to my sympathy.” you find interest in the pavement, searching for the remnants of your memories in their cracks.
“... But I really put my foot down this time. And oh, I didn't quit my job either, in case you were wondering.” you heave, pushing a lock of hair behind your ear.
“And where are you residing now — if you don't mind me asking?”
“I’m temporarily staying at a friend's house. Don't worry, I’m at a safe place.” you reassure, detecting the underlying concern in his inquiry.
Ratio’s shoulders sag as he exhales, the receding adrenaline dulling his worries. Turns out you didn't really need his help, not that he's astonished. It was in your nature to extend help towards others but thinking twice before asking for help.
(Although he's in no position to criticize, he so wished that you’d find it in yourself to rely on him a bit more.)
“If you ever need anything, just give me a call or a text. You still have my number, correct?” he glances down to gauge your expression.
When you nod, he murmurs a faint ‘good’ and silence takes over. He contemplates if he should add anything else, but the serenity in the atmosphere prompts him to push back those concerns.
“Well, goodbye for today?” you suggest, snapping him back to reality.
He raises his hand to do just that, but a different thought alarms him.
“Let me walk you home.” he pushes back the cringe at the excess firmness to his tone, rushing to add, “Please?”
For a blink or two, you looked at him as though you’ve just sighted an alien. He assumes it's the ‘out-of-character’ tendencies he’s been portraying that has you double-check. It seems that he was not the only one comparing the present and the past.
Luck appeared by his side — or perhaps it was just your pity — and you conceded without any complaint, letting him join your steps. The scholar barely hid his glee through his gait.
The planet that housed Veritas Prime would get decorated in the lovely shades of ripened maple leaves around this time. Civilians gathered in groups beneath these scenes, some enjoying a leisurely picnic, others focused on getting their desired pictures.
Ratio noticed your wanton glance at a pair on a picnic mat, his lips tugging down at the tell-tale signs of where your thoughts ran towards.
But before he could do anything, you turned away and picked up your pace ; the pair’s laughter but background noise.
With some haste, he caught up to you. Racking his brain to distract your mind, he found himself empty-handed.
Four doctorates and yet, his mind goes blank when he needs it the most. He couldn't be any more disappointed in himself.
Just as he’s about to start a mental berating though, you side-step a rock and Ratio’s hand bumps with yours, their frigidity alerting him.
He stops in his tracks, and you do too, looking up quizzically at him.
He extends his palm, “Give me your hand,”
Your confusion only increases, “What? Why?”
“It’s too cold. Are you certain you aren't sick?” he thinks back to the encounter he had with you at the cafe, the chill he felt when he grasped your hand. He initially thought it a coincidence, but now, he was really concerned.
“Ahh, this, you see,” you flex your fingers, a feeble attempt at warming them up. “My hands kind of respond to the temperature? Don't ask because I don't know exactly why either, during winter, they're usually cold like this. But in summer, they're very warm.”
Ratio quirks a brow, “Just the fact that it tends to happen doesn't make it any less uncomfortable, does it?”
“No…” you trail off, “But! That's what my fiance— I mean, ex-fiance would always tell me, to just get used to it.”
Your eyes flicker back to Ratio’s, the disbelief in them telling you enough of what you need to know.
The scholar ran a hand through his hair, he shuddered to ponder what other garbage they had fed your brain.
His sigh is carried by a passing breeze, “It’s okay. They aren't here to dictate your life anymore.” he once again offers you his hand, another hope-filled prayer.
You look at his extended palm and back to his patient gaze, your fingers fisting in themselves for a moment before loosening.
He sees the ebb and flow of doubt and hope in their movements, inching closer and closer to his.
He cradles your hand when it reaches him, your fingers slipping easily through the gaps of his. The difference in temperature alerts his reflexes for a second before he calms them down.
He stuffs your intertwined hands in his coat pocket — your gasp fades behind you as he resumes his gait.
Ratio does not dare glance in your direction, but he knows you're watching, scrutinizing him. It reminds him of the look you had at the end of your university days, the memory of the incident that followed makes his throat parched.
Your grip is unusually weak, combined with the knowledge of your situation, the scholar can't stop himself from adding.
“Have you been eating well? Tell me if you haven't, I'll take you to have a proper meal. But don't lie about these matters, you can't achieve your dreams if you don't take care of yourself first.”
You freeze at his words and Ratio makes the mistake of returning your stare.
Seeing no change in his serious expression though, you shake your head with a chuckle, assuring him of your health.
The clicking of both of your shoes against the pavement is the only thing keeping his heart-beat at bay, his attention from focusing too much on the feel of your hand in his and the myriad of chemical reactions flooding his reward system.
When the coldness in your hand has been completely replaced with the warmth from his, you gesture to him that you’ve reached your destination.
He feels an unexpected reluctance in letting you go, something in his gut pushing him to hold on — but he ignores it.
You pause before opening the gates, glancing at him from over your shoulder.
He looks up in time to see your smile, it's not like all those times you’ve smiled before — no, no. This time, lilac petals cling to its corners.
Ratio covered his mouth with his hand, hiding the stupid curve of his lips from anyone's eyes. The lingering warmth from your hand finally allowed his heart to beat with fervor.
He wanted nothing more than to give you a bouquet of bluebells at that moment.
vii. Sfumato
The day Dr. Ratio returned to your side with the pledged bluebells, was beautiful.
The canopy of winter had begun to be swept aside as nascent leaves heralded spring, twitters of birds ornamented the breeze.
When fresh fountain ink meets parchment, it spreads with a thin halo of blue — the sky of that moment brought back this image in his mind. The sun found amusement in steering behind ivory clouds ; a cheeky, one sided game of hide and seek played with light and dark.
The sun made a mistake, a sidestep allowed rays to escape and fall on the lace ribbon of the bouquet.
Sun-glitter followed the lead of Ratio’s arm, over the arch of his wrist, finding their way from beneath the crevices of his fingers — shining, glimmering, as lapis petals caressed the tombstone.
How strange, didn't it usually rain and roar for scenes like these in those light novels of yours?
Veritas could not feel his breaths, it's as if the mechanisms of his respiratory system halted for that matter, he couldn't even feel his eyes flutter.
Idiocy.
He contemplated turning away altogether, what was he even thinking, bringing bluebells to the cemetery like a young lover?
A dead leaf crunched from his retreating step, the note stunning him in place.
Perhaps he should've brought the chopped off, bleeding excuse of a skull of that man — if only, if only if only any being, any listening existence in this wretched world would reassure him that it’d bring you back.
The scholar felt his fingers lax from their cocoon, but he knew, that would be impracticable. If a life for a life resurrected the other, his fingers wouldn't tremble in usurping that leverage and bringing justice to your final moments.
But he knew, oh how the erudite scholar despised knowledge for the first time in his life — that it’d soothe him, but leave a hollow far worse in his heart.
A sigh forced its way past his lips, onerous was its euphony. Windswept locks of violet poked at the way crystalline orange held onto the engraving on the silver stone ; the name, once his boon, now his bane.
Splinters of marble flew, papers, pens, innocent objects were tossed aside like fickle trash. Rouge flecked once pristine alabaster. Midst the carnage, a book fell betwixt Veritas’s path.
A withered daffodil lamented rationality’s fall.
Newspapers and channels boldly flashed the incident for a week — individual apprehended for the charge of murdering their ex-fiancé — before being swallowed by other, more fascinating pieces of events.
Ratio found himself scoffing at their tone, picking apart their every word and spacing, frowning at how quick people's interest moved on.
Indeed, the world waits for none. The ones lingering are always tormented.
With the last person in close association with you behind the bars of the psych ward and your acquaintances grieving, the scholar took it upon himself to deliver your files and belongings to your family.
But that decision turned out to be a lesson, the universe once again pointing out without mercy the mediocrity of his knowledge.
“Does that mean we’ll have to turn to the streets now?” whispered a little too loudly, a little too carelessly, your step-mother to your father.
Ignorance.
Perhaps Ratio’s disbelief had been too loud on his face, for your father shushed her quickly and attempted to smooth over the slip-up with a barely-strung lament.
But the scholar had learned what was to be surmised from this family, all of their next speeches effortlessly ignored by him.
So the reason you ultimately didn't quit your job was for them, Veritas's eyes dimmed. Feelings were never his forte, this messy heap of them he had no clue what to do with.
And the siblings you used to so dearly miss back in your university days? The second-oldest after you put back her headphones after he finished delivering the news and the youngest couldn't even recall your name.
Ratio seldom used the phrase, but it was truly a miracle he left that fetid establishment without causing damage.
He decided against disclosing your remaining belongings to them and instead, gave them away for charity as written in a journal he accidentally stumbled upon while sorting through them.
Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you knew this would happen.
But you refused to confide in anyone, tolerating the farce of a content life.
Ratio could not understand, did not even know where to begin in decoding what was going through your head when you lied to him and what had coerced him into believing it.
Of course you didn't leave them, that would've been too perfect and too merciful an end and clearly, the universe would not allow it. Of course he needed to be shown how much of an idiot he still is, the extent of his wishful thinking.
Ratio concurs he deserves it.
But did you deserve to meet such an end? No, your life shouldn't have been shaped this way to begin with! And yet, it had been.
For long did he stare off into vacant space, casting aside the need for slumber, attempting to answer what was to be done now. The silence beckoned him, that it was nothing.
Perhaps, you were at peace now at last.
Perhaps the craving for this serenity was what had prompted you from not fighting off that axe.
Perhaps, you had closed your eyes without any regrets.
When the haze in his head cleared a bit, he visited your grave again. Dust had gathered on the lifeless petals of the bluebells he’d left, the scholar tenderly rid them from the surface.
He dug a section beside your resting place and planted fresh asphodels. An elderly woman saw the scene in passing but did not comment, pity clung at the edges of her eyes.
Foolishness.
In fear of the tides of time burying the traces of your foot-steps, Ratio chased after them. The places you spoke so fondly of, the flowers and stories you cherished and the students you stood proud beside.
They spoke of your passion, your vision and your resilience to him.
They say, even a lifetime of ‘knowing’ someone is not sufficient in knowing them.
Although he’d known you for a miniscule timeframe, he squandered no effort in trying to understand you. Only at this juncture, did your nature become clear to him. You were an expert in keeping your lips shut, a seasoned performer of half-truths and no stranger to the art of survival.
It was no coy act, you trusted no one with your actual thoughts and motivations — that was the naked truth.
So then, it begs the question, what exactly did you try so hard to eradicate?
Supposing that this universe suffers from a common ailment, and it is so persistent, so adhesive, so elusive that it plagues the dullest to the most brilliant mind — that despite all attempts at curing it, only its surface has been scratched. And this truth had been so frustrating, even you could not stand back.
Ratio tapped his fingers against his desk, what other malady does an educator aspire to cure other than ignorance?
Foolishness? Idiocy? Stupidity? All synonymous, yet capable of clasping and corrupting irrespective of a person’s standing in the path of life.
To rid them, scholars, researchers and teachers attempt to disseminate knowledge with the vow of indiscrimination.
But Dr. Ratio knew, the oasis of knowledge is but a mirage in the desert of ignorance. For the populace to reach that base awareness, to recognize that mirage — that, is what is needed.
The scholar saw the early light of dawn from betwixt the crevices of his window, the hinges groaned as he pushed them open and for the first time — the sun embraced him and the shadows fell behind his form.
But the meteor that briefly illuminated his sky, is gone — as tends to be their destiny. He can do nothing but carry the memories of its glow.
—
Light glinted over the edge of the cone, approaching footsteps reminded the doctor to tuck it away from prying eyes.
Ratio tsk-ed upon feeling the absence of his headpiece, cracks on the alabaster had demanded a remake.
The scholar’s eyes met with the ones cradling the remnants of a bygone sunset, melting into hues of ocean blue.
“Doc! Didn't expect to see you here.” drawled an unfortunately familiar man. Ratio offered a blink in greeting.
“Yes, how astonishing it is to see a member of the Intelligentsia Guild in its corridors.” the doctor muttered plainly, the Stoneheart in the spotlight merely maintained his smile.
Ratio noticed his other hand to be occupied, “And what about you? Busy squandering your time as usual, gambler?”
Contrary to his expectations, the quirk of Aventurine’s lips widened as though he’d struck gold, he smoothed over the lapels of his suit. The erudite scholar subconsciously braced himself for whatever trick was to be brought next.
“Now now, it's not squandering if you're spending it with a dear person.” he winked.
Veritas caught a silhouette peeking from behind the blonde, “Meaning?”
“Ah, how uncourteous of me.” though there's a note of glee in his voice. “Allow me to introduce you to…”
Dr. Ratio observed as a figure emerged from Aventurine’s shadow, the passing question of how he hadn't noticed them sooner was pushed aside as they joined the Stoneheart in the spotlight.
“My dearest, precious jewel or— how did you prefer it again? Hmm I can't seem to remember~” an elbow to his side and huff broke through his theatrics ; the vacant halls gained life through laughter, petrichor bloomed in their notes.
“Just kidding, my bluebell.”
A meteor crossed the orbit of Ratio’s life again.
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