#Also 'Why are we pitting two bad bitches...?' etc. etc. but I had to say this. Let me get on my soapbox just this ONCE.

[iero]

Unpopular horror movie opinion probably, but I would take a psychological horror movie where that subtle dread sticks with you even after the movie is over over any horror movies that rely on "jumpscares" to spook it's audience any day of the week.

[sergeifyodorov]

Why is Mitch always the whipping boy for a lot of fans??

There's always been this pretty consistent characterization of him as hyper-emotional/soft while also designating him as lazy or not caring. A few reasons I can think of that this might be

The Contract: makes a pretty significant chunk of the cap and had a long, drawn-out and exhausting road to signing; never mind that it was a) signed before the Covid flat-cap, b) his father was known to be meddling in the process, c) he thought he was going to have to deal with Babcock for the next five years at least, and d) unlike Willie had performed extremely well on his ELC, meriting pretty much an immediate raise to ~11 mil

Publicly presents this kind of goofy, dorky attitude that rubs people the wrong way (the Leafs are "supposed" to be this super-serious, hard-working, nose-to-the-grindstone type of ultra-professional team, and lovey-dovey silly Mitchelly is not what One Might Expect compared to more historic players like Mats Sundin, or, god forbid, Doug Gilmour or Wendel Clark)

Not the most well-media-trained or eloquent guy in the world and accidentally says a lot of things that you could misinterpret as whiny emotionality if you were already the sort of person to be ill-disposed towards him

Lack of playoff luck

(This one has faded somewhat over time) Far too skinny and a pushover and doesn't hit (people who say this don't know puck but there are people who say it)

...etc. Also worth noting that ~the fansphere~ tends to be either Team Mitch or Team Willy at any given time, pretty much exclusively based on who's been hotter of late -- when Mitch is hot, trade Nylander; when Nylander's hot, why did we give Marner that money in the first place (you can see this now if you look). Why must they pit two bad bitches against each other?

[deceitfuldevil]

Truth Serum

Pietro Maximoff X Reader

Summary: While working with Tony and Bruce in the lab you accidentally drink some very experimental truth serum, leading to some unwanted confessions with your coworkers.

Warnings: use of y/n, swearing, lots of dialogue, barely proofread, etc.

Word Count: 1.7K

—

You were busy working with Tony and Bruce in the lab and jokingly Tony placed his latest concoction next to your drink but you didn’t realize until it was too late and you drank Bruce’s experimental truth serum.

“Jesus Tony can you turn down that obnoxious music? I’m so sick of that stupid 70s rock music you’re always playing.”

Tony stopped what he was doing are looked over at you in shock.

“L/n, what the hell are you talking about? You told me you loved my music.”

“Well I lied, I lie to you a lot actually.” You looked up eyes blown wide with dear as you covered your mouth after saying that.

“I did NOT mean to say that.”

“Y/n… did you just take a sip of that beaker Tony so stupidly placed right next to your drink?” Bruce asked pinching the small space in between his eyebrows

You looked down as remorse filled your gut, noticing a small dribble of blue liquid slowly falling down the side of the beaker you obviously just took a drink from. Your eyes life to meet Bruce’s as you slowly nodded a small yes.

“Well, no thanks to Tony now we get to find out if my very experimental truth serum actually works.”

“TRUTH SERUM?!” You shouted, the last thing you wanted was for your team to have unrestricted access to your secrets.

“No thanks to me? Are you kidding Banner? This might be the most fun we have with Y/n all year!” Tony said with a cheeky grin

Your groaned and let your head fall onto the desk you were sitting at. “How long will this last?” You asked muffled

“Best case scenario for you? It could wear off within the next 30 minutes. Worst case scenario? You could be highly responsive and overly truthful for the two days.”

Tony broke out with a loud cackle as he got up from his desk and exited the lab “Good luck kid!”

“And theres no antidote?” You pleaded

“Sorry, but we were barely in the trial phases of creating this and we don’t try to make an antidote unless we know for sure that it works.”

“So how the hell am I supposed to deal with this in the meantime?”

“My best advice? Lock yourself away in your quarters for the next day or so to avoid saying anything unsavory to the rest of the team. Because I don’t have a doubt in my mind Tony left to go and tell the whole team about your little predicament.”

But before you could reply Sam, Rhodey, and Bucky all came running into the lab practically running over each other.

“Okay, I’ve wanted wanted to know. How do you feel really about Redwing?” Sam asked pushing Rhodey and Bucky aside.

“I think you should find a girlfriend so you stop obsessing over a high tech piece of metal.” You said with an unholy amount of sass, already sick of this treatment. Bucky burst out laughing but you sent a pissed off glare his way.

“Don’t think you’re safe either beefcake. You’re 106 years old and still can’t take a joke, not to mention that you’re forgetful as fuck. I mean who the hell just forgets that they have a vibrium arm? I’m not even going to get started on that staring problem you have that you think is so intimidating.” You snapped, shutting everyone in the room up. Before leaving you locked eyes with Rhodey.

“Oh hi Ego Machine! Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about you. I mean who could when you tell that story of how you dropped a tank at the generals feet every single party? I mean, BOOM were you looking to be interesting?”

After shutting every one in that room down you stormed out and locked yourself in your room. You really could tell if you had taken truth serum or just a liquid curse. You never left your room for the rest of the night, not wanting to risk dinner with the team. But you woke up around 5:30 in the morning to. Very strong feeling of hunger, and prayed no one else would be up this early as you snaked down into the kitchen. You walked past Wanda sleeping quietly on the couch as Vision floated peacefully in the corner.

“Creepy motherfucker…” you whispered as you stepped into the kitchen

“What was that you said about my husband?” Wanda said, suddenly on the other side of the counter looking at you with a tilted head. You jumped almost spilling your cereal

“Jesus Christ Wanda! A warning!” You said clutching your head with one hand and the cereal box with the other. But she only looked at you and smiled mischievously

“You can ask anything you want but you’re not allowed to be upset by the answer” you stated plaining, pouring some milk into your bowl.

“Are you talking about the truth serum you took yesterday?” Wanda asked, tilting her head at you.

“Yeah, it might not wear off for another 24 hours. Everyones been dying to find how I ‘really’ feel about them since Tony ran his big mouth and told everyone about this stupid serum I drank.”

“You do remember I can read minds, right? I always know when someone’s telling the truth or lying, I just don’t always call them on it.”

“Right.” You said quietly as you stuffed your face with cereal so you could go back to your quarters as soon as possible.

You sat alone in your room unbothered for the next few hours, until you heard a rock at your door.

“Don’t come in! Go away!” You shouted turning the page of your book assuming whoever was on the other side of your door would kindly fuck off. But as a tall man with a mop of silver hair entered your room you sighed dramatically and threw your book at him, missing spectacularly.

“I could’ve sworn I said to NOT come in.” you said as you crossed your arms over your chest, looking at the ever so muscular man making his way over to your bed.

“And when’s the last time I took orders from you?” Pietro said with a smile.

“You never take orders from anyone, I’m surprised you haven’t been kicked off the team yet honestly.” You spat, bitter that he wasn’t respecting your wishes to be left alone. A pit of nerves also started to grow in your stomach the closer he came to you knowing how you really felt about him, and that if he asked there’d be nothing stopping you from telling him the truth.

“Ah, you wound me dragâ.” Pietro says as he mockingly clasps his hands over his heart as if you’d shot him. You just rolled your eyes in response.

“The team tells me you’ve become somewhat of a bitch since yesterday, is that true?” He asked, sitting down at the foot of your bed.

“I’m not a bitch, Tony just tricked me into drinking some of Banner’s experimental truth serum. But you already knew that didn’t you? Either way, spoiler alert. The stupid serum works and probably won’t wear off for another 12 hours. Besides, I’m only a bitch to the team members I don’t like.” Your eyes widened realizing what you just admitted to Pietro

“I suppose that’s true, Wanda did tell me you weren’t too bad when she ran into you this morning.” Pietro said scooting up next to you in bed, normally you’d tell him to fuck off before he got too close so he would know how much you loved being in his arms but when he asked

“Is this okay?” As he stretched his arms over your shoulders pulling you into his chest

“Yeah, I love it when you hold me. Or just touch me in general, always makes me feel like I’m on cloud nine.” The confession just spilled right out of your mouth, causing you to once again to clasp a hand over your lips to prevent you from saying anything else.

Pietro looked down at you with a shocked eyes but a smug smile, deciding to push his luck he asked “Then why do you always push me away and tell me to fuck off anytime I hug you?”

“Becwagh wi dwomt vhmnf to nmfh…” you said, keeping your hand over your mouth to muffle your answer. Pietro shook his head light at you as he took your hand off your lips and held it, gently caressing your knuckles with his thumb

“What was that darling?” He said as he cobalt blue eyes poured into yours. It’s like he already knew how you felt but just needed to hear you say it to confirm his suspicions. Months of pinning after you, and now here was his chance. He had no other choice but to act on it. You swallowed the last bit of pride and fear held in your chest and said

“Because I don’t want you to know how I really feel about you.” The last of your walls came crashing down as you smiled gently at the handsome man before you, he gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as his faced inched closer to yours.

“And how do you feel about me dragosté?”

“Like you’re the only person in the world I could ever fall in love with.” That was all Pietro needed to push aside his ego hearing how you really felt about him as he leaned down and closed the gap in between the two of you pressing his soft lips to yours. Moving gently with you as his lips slotted perfectly over yours, you breathe in his musky scent as you ran your hand across his chest pulling him closer to you. Sadly it wasn’t long before you both ran out of air and had to pull away

“So how do you feel now?” Pietro asked with a cheeky grin plastered on his lovestruck face

“Like I could kiss your stupid face all day.” You said grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him back in for a much more heated kiss.

The rest of your afternoon and week into the evening was spent in Pietros arms sharing soft kisses and fleeting touches. Although admittedly he was sad when the truth serum wore off and he couldn’t ask you any and everything under the sun about how you felt about him.

But you’d end up showing him how you felt in other ways later on ;)

—

A/N

Ahhh here’s my 4th post that will be published while I’m away at camp! Found this little bit in my notes as well and just fleshed it out enough to post! Hope this was enjoyable!

Much Love,

—Skyler

[wordstro]

I AM FLABBERGASTED BESTIE LIKE IK IT WOULD BE SOME SHIT BUT HOLY HELL

sannie these last two chapters pls 🥺 he might’ve been an emotionally constipated ass in the beginning but he really broke my heart during the whole body control scene. at least we know we can count on him now tho ksksks he should’ve shot swh in the head instead of just knocking him out with the bat but at least he trying <33

ALSO JONGHO ?? WE ALL THOUGHT HE’D BE BEST BOY BUT NOT ONLY IS HE A RAT BUT A FUCKING USELESS ONE ??? LIKE HJ DID MORE TO FIGHT ALIENHWA THAN HIM ??

was he even in the room anymore or did he keep his head bowed and mouth shut like a bitch boi thru the whole fight scene too smfh

also not news-breaking that in the end, hj was just a psychotic menace. tho i will say, his “final” moments were kinda heartbreaking ngl but his d-word reminded me too much of the “wabababa weeee” meme for me to take it seriously dksksks

the whole Remnants thing is kinda weird bc it’s almost comforting in a totally fucked way … like that means the aliens have if even the slightest bit of residual personality traits in them of the people they had previously possessed ?? idk kinda sounds cool to me ejekdkd nE WAYZ—

NOT FLABBERGASTED!!!!!

san really took fifty five business days to step it up 😭 at least he’s trying!!!!

jongho really in the corner like:

NOT THE WABABABA WEE SOUND TO HJ’S DEMISE THATS SOOOO FUNNY

yeah!! so, from y/n’s perspective, there won’t be much going into depth of what exactly is going on with the remnants in the aliens so i’ll say that basically when these aliens possess ppl via the fog at night, they’re trying to find hosts so they can live on the planet and take it over. they’re a parasitic species - hence seonghwa calling it a mutually beneficial relationship bc he has (bad) Jokes - that needs a host to “grow up” and once they’ve like fully incubated (is that the best word?) they become those full grown spider creatures in the pit. those creatures are in the pit because the creatures can’t stand the sunlight, which is why they’ve been looking for hosts and why a lot of them also choose to occupy human bodies permanently. they’ve mostly been spending all these years looking for more hosts (and the sanctuary - and many more like it - are a part of that plan for the aliens). but during the “incubation” time the aliens didn’t take into account that they accidentally start to take personality traits and memories of the people they’re occupying. strong emotions affect the creatures the most to the point where it stays with them. i figure when a living creature feeds on another living creature from their nervous system like that, there’s going to be overlap you know? like you can’t get away with occupying another living creature’s consciousness without empathizing with them accidentally. so even after the human is dead and they’re those big creepy creatures, their memories and the ones they loved still live on in the aliens. and for the ones like seonghwa where the human’s conscience is still there beneath everything else, sometimes they come through when their will is strong enough. a lot of time the will that gets them through ends up being strong human emotions such as platonic/romantic love, desperation, anger, etc.

also it’s very interesting how you find it comforting and then another reader thought it was terrifying. like i think it’s kinda cool and kinda scary but it’s cool to see which ppl think and which way they lean

[queenangst]

I've been a pjo fan for a long time, but I never was very into the online fandom until recently. So my question is this: what is considered "problematic" with Rick Riordan, from what I've seen he's just tried to always please fans, if not a little too much, but like I said I only got online very very recently.

oh, boy. 

there’s a lot to unpack. 

i’m going to be honest, generally when i criticize i don’t do it on my very public blog. most discussions i’ve had are private, with people i trust; i’m not saying i won’t discuss it with you, what i mean by this is if you look on my blog you probably won’t find a lot of pjo/hoo/rr crit in the past. 

before i get into it, here’s a couple things to keep in mind. 

1. it is okay to absolutely love percy jackson and criticize it. they are not mutually exclusive. it’s important and healthy to be able to take a step back and look at the media you’re reading with a critical eye and from different perspectives. 

2. sometimes, reading crit can kind of hurt. acknowledging that an author or a creator you look up to is flawed can hurt. no creator is perfect, and no critic is perfect. just understand that when you read crit you’re likely looking through the lens of someone who probably has seen something damaging, etc in rick’s writing. 

also, it doesn’t really matter if you’ve been part of the fandom for a long time or not; online or not; these issues stem from rick and the writing itself.

okay: 

here’s my pjo crit tag and my hoo crit tag. like i said, they’re pretty scarce, because most of me talking about what went wrong in hoo is in private circles. 

the issues become much more apparent in hoo, because hoo was kind of a hot mess. so you might tend to see more hoo crit than pjo crit, but there are flaws in both series that deal with diversity or lack thereof, tokenism, racism, stereotypes, and also just some bad writing choices and bad narrative.

here’s some bloggers who have great discussions about pjo/hoo/rick + problems. 

@transannabeth - anti rick tag (tea also has a pjo crit, hoo crit, and some other tags but i think most posts fall under anti rick)

@reynaisalesbian - hoo crit tag

@bananannabeth - hoo crit tag

some other bloggers who don’t (afaik) have crit under tags or have a couple posts, but who have made good posts/points/etc: @blackjacktheboss, @ofswordsandpens, @gr33kg0ds, @sawasawako. 

if you want to look outside of these bloggers or tags (which i encourage you to), common tags that people use for criticism on tumblr are: anti pjo, anti hoo, anti rick/riordan/rr, pjo crit, hoo crit, rr crit, pjo criticism, hoo criticism.

i... do not have the time or energy to address every single issue that comes up in pjo, hoo, and with rick. i’m sorry. there’s a lot of books, a lot of characters, and a lot of bad narrative. and bad choices. i’d go through the links above, maybe reach out to people (reach out to me, or anyone), discuss, look at the books and step back from what you like and want to defend and use your critical thinking skills. 

i guess to get you started (since i can’t cover every single issue ever) here’s something i was discussing with @wisdom-walks-alone and a couple other people earlier; the east asian/asian representation (hello! that’s me!) is uh, not hot, to say the least. for example, if you look at the canonical asian pjo characters—

ethan nakamura, who is basically the only one in pjo, dies. he’s a kid on the wrong side, he tries to defy kronos, and he dies. cool! then we hop on over to hoo, and we have two whole east asian characters. one of them is drew tanaka, who is reduced to stereotypes and a ‘queen bitch’ like character, vain and petty and rude to say the least. her focus is completely on her appearance. she doesn’t get development. she’s there to be pitted against piper, another woman of color. 

but that’s okay, because we have frank, right? frank zhang, who is actually chinese. except i never identified with him because he was 1) extremely underdeveloped for a main character of the series and 2) his arc is, as i remember it, getting buff. let’s see. 

he’s a chinese character, which means there are a lot of conflicting and interesting values to play with and develop. i really liked him in son, and with the shapeshifting abilities and his life stick, as well as his discomfort in his own body; those could have really been elements in a fantastic character arc. sacrifice, duty, loyalty to your family, to your country/people (i.e. the romans).... these are all things that are important to chinese people, and could have played a larger role (which is why i liked that frank burned his own stick to free thanatos). but eventually he’s given a fireproof bag so his stick will never burn and he just... gets buff and strong, because that’s important. that’s some surface level criticism because i don’t remember much of what happens to frank in the series (probably not much?), but yeah. i’m not saying frank’s character arc should revolve around him being chinese, or that being chinese should play a huge role in the series, but a fundamental part of character is background. there are a hundred different experiences rick could have pulled from, and each of them are unique. tfw your “rep” isn’t rep at all.

so the three east asian characters i get to read about, who look like me, who might have grown up like me, who i’m supposed to relate to... one is dead, one is a stereotypical bitch, and one is.. i don’t even know. so it’s something to think about, yeah?

EDIT: do not take this post as saying you have to ‘hate’ hoo or hate pjo or hate rick now. (though some of us do, for good reason.) just keep the criticism in mind and accept it as a part of your view of rick and his writing as a whole. you can still love pjo! you can still love hoo! you can still like rick. that’s okay. don’t put them on a pedestal. form your own opinions, and let them shape your experience. 

i think he has done some good things. i think he can write well. but there’s also a lot of problems that should be addressed and that could be improved upon.

[phoebehalliwell]

how would you rank the seasons from least to most favourite?

alright okay right off the bat worst season season 7. for starters i think this season has no staying power i mean like since i’ve been running this blog 4 so long now my knowledge of charmed is encyclopedic and insanely vast more than like it ever need be but for the longest time. i could not remember season 7. like wtf even happened there?? evidently leo became human??? cole returned? the avatars??? like all of it was just. it’s not even necessarily forgettable it’s just i straight up could not remember it for the longest time. and i’ve said it before the concept of utopia was way to advanced for a show like charmed to tackle i am not watching charmed for moral philosophy i am watching bc i love these girls ♥ hee hee hoo hoo magic adventure ✨ tho if i am to offer a single comment on utopia: it’s awfully rich for a show to go on about destiny and fate and then take a stand against utopia in the name of free will. but w/e. i don’t like leo in the avatars i don’t like his dynamic with piper in this season i don’t like whatever phoebe’s doing this season there’s like leslie?? maybe there’s someone else? boring & flavorless they should have been setting up her endgame instead of puttering around. and kyle. zoo wee mama. could have been a great antihero. morally gray. duplicitous. self serving. but no. they gave him all those traits and called him hero/love interest. s7 left a lot to be desired out of the characters and their relationships also gave us phat L’s such as the charmed ones are werewolves don’t worry about it and feminism peaked with naked women. shout out to zankou: demon, dilf, dub & the noir episode.

you know what? fuck it i’ll say it second worse season 5 genuinely fuck season five. this is probably a Very Specific beef 2 me But. i hate what they did to the charmed universe. this was the season that marked the transition of charmed from supernatural drama to campy soap which like. i love camp! i do! but fr. fuck this season and what it did to the worldbuilding. the early season have Such A Vibe to them man with warlocks and witches and just a couple niche monsters from assorted lore that the show took and made their own. season five opens with mermaids goes directly into fairytales then gives us superheros whatever the fuck was going on in that mummy episode the sandman leprechauns and nymphs. and i hate it for that. it takes away from this urban fantasy things that go bump in the night what lurks in the shadows of the back alleys of san francisco in favor of the ugliest cinderella dress ever put to television and an onslaught of horrible irish accents for a full episode. other issues with season five: cole’s still here? why? they don’t know and neither will you! we’re not redeeming him! phoebe’s not getting back together with him! yes he died we just refuse to let him go! the cherry on top of course being a cole-centric 100th episode. shout out to. hmm. lemme think about what i actually liked about this season. i like jason dean as a love interest i don’t remember what he did in s5 but i know he was there. the season finale i’ve talked about how stupid & shitty it was but idc i still love that episode and then shout out to bacarra the only original villain this season that was a proper serve. the crone gets second place.

next on this come on we all saw it coming season 8. it’s a bad season! and i get bts there was a whole lot happening budget cuts missing actor etc. but it goes beyond that. it was a bad season. billie and christie were bad. and i’ve said this before but billie in herself is not an inherently bad character. she was just the literal worst for the show. she was a dollar store buffy blonde confident cocky skilled and ready 2 fight evil But. we are not following her like we followed buffy we are following her mentors. it’s like if we had a show called giles that aired for seven seasons And Then buffy showed up. billie was insanely irritating to watch from our perspective and in general wasn’t like. well written. attempts to humanize her / give her more depth often fell flat. and then christy. oh nelly. oh my god. barely a character. not well acted but hey it would have been a miracle if she was. negatives include dumain who was a mess omg bringing back the triad bringing back the source billie & christy obvi and also involving homeland security. which is season 7′s fault which is why it’s the worst. dubs on the other hand include both coop and henry i really liked them the shoehorned love interests weren’t great but i like their characters i though the way the got rid of leo to save on the budget was really creative and gave us a great piper episode and of course the sugary sweet finale i love it i do what can i say.

yet another controversial choice aptly coming in fourth is season 4. i respect what season 4 set out to do. i think it was a good idea. long form narratives, keeping a darker tone, focusing on character-driven drama and growth. too bad it fucking failed miserably at all of this. cole as the source and phoebe as the queen of hell was just so so botched. they had a very unique opportunity following the death of prue to explore these characters and what it means to them to be charmed, to be witches. they saved the world but the cost is insanely high. they’ve lost an older sister. they’ve gained a new sister. how do you even begin to cope with all this? episodes such as hell hath no fury and brain drain fuck so hard because they work with exactly that. had the whole season been like those episode season four would sit at number one with flying colors absolutely no competition. but alas. we can’t have nice things. the show got so bogged down with phoebe & cole, in a way that was just so, so messy. for starters, whether you loved cole or hated him before, we can all agree source!cole sucked. he was such a strong 180 from what we had seen that the show had to make the source some type of possession to justify half the shit they were trying to pull. and then to pit phoebe and paige against one another over a man was just. disgusting. and the ending of course felt rushed because it was! they wrapped up that entire issue in a nice little bow much faster than they reasonably should have been able to. it could have been a great season. it was definitely not. shout out to the seer an iconic mastermind on barbas levels, as previously stated brain drain and hell hath no fury Specific shout out to piper’s scene at prue’s grave shout out to paige as a character i like what they did with her and um. yeah that’s it.

okay we’re exiting the shit tier in favorite of the good tier welcome to the upper half. kicking us off is season 6. season 6 did what season 4 could not in that it gave us a long form plot that still left plenty of room for like. normal demon of the week episodes. i love phoebe early in this season with her faboo haircut her brand new empathy power and her relationship with jason dean. obvious strikes against for whatever the fuck that baby crazy stint was and also the mata hari episode. yikes. i love paige’s hair color in this season nothing paige as a character necessarily stands out to me however i like how they seem to have hit the blend of work-magic with paige where she wants a life and career outside of magic however she still loves the craft and embraces is with an open heart and mind. season six also gives us chris who was a very fun male lead imo we really didn’t have many like him he’s bitchy. he whines and bitches a lot he’s got an agenda he’s a bit secretive but at the end of the day he just wants a family i like him. i like the character growth we see out of piper i like seeing her try to move on from leo i love seeing her get back together with leo i like her dynamic with chris and her fears about motherhood. i also liked richard but that one takes a lot of justification. L’s are witchstock hyde school reunion used karma off the top of my head also the paige/richard/addiction plotline was so tone deaf. also the girls were mean to darryl : ( he deserved so much better. dubs were chris as a character, tbh the episode little monsters, phoebe with empathy specifically saying i love you too to jason i could write a dissertation on that line alone also the courtship of wyatt’s father and i thought the reveals of evil wyatt and chris being piper and leo’s son were both fun and interesting plot twists.

coming in third is actually season 2 a season i really do love it’s just. it lacks structure. imo there is a lot to love about season 2 morality bites and pardon my past are both delightful time travel episodes we get jack sheridan and bane jessup two of my personal favorite prue love interests we get p3 h2o and a great prue plotline regarding the death of patty we get the super cute cupid episode it’s a great. collection of episodes. it’s not a great season. there’s just imo not a strong enough thread connecting the stories together it’s mainly held together by having the same characters in it over and over again i really liked dan personally but like. i knew we were wasting time there. he was just an obstacle. a super cute loving and caring obstacle who’s great with kids but lbr piper and leo were always endgame. wasting our time on dan was stupid. i do love the sister dynamics in season two “gotta hand it to those pesky little demons they sure have brought us closer together” but again. this season could have benefitted from a rex and hannah type or even like a cole or zankou. this season is less of a season and more of just like a handful of episodes, and while there are some fat dubs, there are also some definite swings & misses. shout out to the time travel episodes the prue centric episodes phoebe’s character growth and maturity throughout this season (e.g. her going back to college) and i also think the fashion got a lot more fun this season.

second place i’m saying season one season one was a really strong start and gave us these really compelling characters with interesting relationships between one another But. a lot of it just kinda falls flat. and credit where credit is due it was a brand new show getting its feet under it but the fourth sister feats of clay which prue is it anyway they just simply aren’t dubs imo. also i don’t like that 70′s episode bc again i am an asshole concerned about The Lore i can’t believe one bitch ass warlock caused the Charmed Ones to grow up without powers. it just really bugs me. all in all the plots as a whole like aren’t great imo they’re nothing to write home about (save for from fear to eternity) it’s really the characters that make this season so goddamn good.

first place congratulations to the one the only season three. this is just because it kinda hits all my requirements in that it has some banger one offs (e.g. all halliwell’s eve, the good, the bad, and the cursed) it has an overarching plot at the exact same time as the source becomes more prominent and obvi cole is also there with murderous intent i like the character growth we see especially from prue i like piper and leo finally get married overall i really like the aesthetic of this season that blends a darker urban fantasy tone with still some charmed fashion and whimsy. strikes against tbh phoebe and cole’s relationship i am insanely picky with my enemies to lovers and the do not come remotely close to cutting the mustard in fact they are almost immediately disqualified however from afar i can see and respect The Drama. shout out to recasting victor prue with pistols death as a character and shannen directing episodes

[miraculouscontent]

Askplosion #12 1/4:

.:Asks Referring to Previous Miraculous Posts:.

Anonymous said:

I think that story with Delmar, Sabrina and Alya is only type of Alya demonization you accept.

(the post this anon is referring to)

Absolutely.

I also accept “demonization” for like--comedic purposes. For example, if they had Alya be all in on the love square and all no Marinette you’re not allowed to give up on Adrien if it’s Lukanette endgame and Alya’s (and possibly the rest of the girl squad) “demonization” is for the sake of their dramatic reactions to the mere idea that Marinette would be both not into Adrien anymore and also into someone else.

I just think the idea of turning things on its head by making the people around Marinette the subject of jokes instead of it being Marinette herself.

Anonymous said:

Alya going "Need Some Help?" reminds me of Karma and Nagisa from Assassination Classroom(I said it right this time!). Obviously Alya is Karma and Sabrina is Nagisa(and now Karma's jazzy motif is playing in my head). And Delmar is probably(and by probably I mean almost fucking definitely) Kayano. For real though, I didn't even know Delmar's name until I read that ask/response now. I mean, like, that's how forgettable and underutilized he was. And no, Ms. Bustier isn't worthy of being Koro-sensei.

(the post this anon is referring to)

Still not familiar with Assassination Classroom so I will let the other anons who are familiar with the series silently judge for themselves. ;P

As for Delmar, don’t feel bad; his name actually isn’t mentioned in the special to my knowledge, and it was a tweet that confirmed his name.

Anonymous said:

Oh yeah, the "Astruc gets hit with a washboard" was SUPPOSED to be a shout-out to Koro-Sensei Quest, in which Karma gets hit with a washboard(don't ask where it came from or where they go when they hit the ground, the world may never know) every time he acts like a smug-ass little bitch. You know, like Astruc. Often, the washboard will ricochet off his head and hit a red button, which then opens up a pit which Karma then falls in. In other words, Karma getting Karma! If only Astruc could too.

(the post this anon is referring to)

khfjdgdg ahhh, yeah, thanks for explaining! I’ve always said that I’m not very media-savvy so sometimes I don’t know about more popular shows.

Anonymous said:

Eventually Salty Decadent Court

(the post this anon is referring to)

lol we just slowly upgrade our way through the salt ranks

Anonymous said:

I was thinking about your edit of Desperada, and how I would definitely love to edit the ATLA finale to cut out Kat/aang and Mai/ko stuff lol.

(the post this anon is referring to)

Oh yeah, that’d be amazing! I imagine it’d be difficult, but not impossible. Sometimes it might be better to sacrifice good shots or move scenes around for the sake of making things cohesive.

Anonymous said:

Kagami when adrien its back from NY: I'm sorry adrien, but I have feelings for two blueberries, we have to broke up

Adrien: eh? Broke up? We were dating?

(the post this anon is referring to)

I like how this ask doesn’t specify whether the joke is that Adrien might’ve just been way too “friendly” with Kagami and gave her the impression that they were dating, or a joke on the fact that the show itself doesn’t specify that they’re dating, or both.

A+ 10/10

Anonymous said:

If Adrien does get akumatised because of jealousy about Marinette, I hope someone (Kagami would be great) points out that Marinette was never akumatised for that reason even though she had waaay more scenarios that could have turned out that way. So don't blame yourself, Marinette!! (I also hope Kagami yells at anyone else *cough*Alya*cough* who tries to blame Marinette.

(the “Didn’t Need Burrow” that this anon is referring to)

We just want someone unambiguously on Marinette’s side, is that too much to ask?

Anonymous said:

"It's difficult to animate" hasn't stopped others before (Lord Shen, the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, etc). You may do it as a hobby, but this are professionals who should have done more than the bare minimun.

(the post this anon is referring to)

I agree. I’m just trying to keep things like budget in mind. A bunch of free-flowing clothing is fine but I’m basically like--okay, but you don’t NEED the stuff that would hamper the budget to make things look good.

Anonymous said:

I don't know why, but I'm picturing Ladybug confronting Chat Noir after he gets back from New York like a mother scolding her teenage daughter for sneaking out at night.

(the post this anon is referring to)

Honestly? Accurate.

Anonymous said:

Clara Nightengale: I sensed Marinette was in trouble, so I came to this school on the doub-- Jagged Stone: It's okay, I already got her.

(the post this anon is referring to)

jdhgdjkfgkjfg Jagged and Clara walking down the street together all cool, Jagged still having Marinette slung over his shoulder, and everyone watching is just, “??????”

passivedecept said:

Honestly

After reading your last bit i feel cheated that Jagged isnt included more

But it may be better that he isnt like luka's dad.

Can you imagion?

Luka: dad. I like someone.

Jagged: who?

Luka: a real nice and talented girl name marinette and- who are you calling?

Jagged: penny because we need a place for your wedding STAT!

Because i firmly believe if jagged had a son who was dating marinette he would do everything to get mari as his daughter in law.

Okay that was it. Love every fic and small bit you make. And i was wondering if you had your own fav. Like. What have your written so far that you like the best yourself?

(the post this anon is referring to)

Do you mean it’d be better because love square is endgame so it’d be messy? Because otherwise, not gonna lie, Jagged meddling and being super supportive sounds fun. :P I’m not here for love square meddling but Lukanette meddling is cute because both parties would be mutually aware of it and also be into it.

As for my favorite fic I’ve written? That’s probably too tough to answer, ahaha. For sure, it’s something Lukanette-based, but I know that doesn’t narrow it down much at all. It would also probably be one of my fix-its/canon divergences because I’m crazy for multiverse/alternate timeline stuff (I hate time travel, but I’m all about multiverse, I adore that stuff).

Anonymous said:

In one of your Didn't Need Burrow masterposts, when someone said that Marinette and Adrien had kids and a hamster who'll get Miraculouses, I somehow misread that as "the kids as well as the hamster itself will all get Miraculouses".

(the post this anon is referring to)

I’m sure at least one of my anons would snap back at that with a joke like, “well, with the standards set for who gets a miraculous, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

rogueinthedigitalworld said:

Would like to pop in for a second to say that yes, Maribat *did* start out as a spite ship, because the original creator was a heavy Adrien salter and wanted someone to replace him… and chose Damian Wayne, for some reason. Since then, Marinette has been shipped with all the Robins (and from I can tell, they’re all warped into actuallynice!Adrien with two gimmicks added from the *actual* characters). I’m pretty sure I’m forgetting something, but that’s the gist of it.

(the post this person is referring to)

Thank you for the response! Yeah, I didn’t know if it was like Spider-man and Ladybug - which I don’t think is a spite ship but I might be wrong - so I didn’t want to say that it was a spite ship without being sure (and obviously, some shippers of it could be just genuine shippers, who knows).

Anonymous said:

Okay, but seriously, when I first joined the ml fandom I was so confused about the maribat. I'm not really a big fan of either romance or comics (except for sandman lol) so I kind of filtered them out but it's kind of an experience tbh. I'm pretty sure it started on tumblr though- everyone sites it as the ozmav au

(the post this person is referring to)

Thank you for the extra clarification, anon! Yeah, I have that ship blacklisted (so I don’t see it around) but not really out of hatred for it; I tend to blacklist names/people/ships that I’m either indifferent to or don’t like (I immediately blacklist people who write angst, people who cross tag, and people who do onesided-Lukanette and don’t tag it that, even if it’s just one offense; I don’t play games, lol, if anyone does something I don’t like, I filter it out because I filter everything).

Anonymous said:

Your images of Luka and Marinette kissing are so super kyute! What program do you use to render them?

(the post this person is referring to)

Thank you! I made them myself!

The program I use is MikuMikuDance, using an edited version of the shader “GreenerShader 1.14″

[makeste]

Who is the bitch in the first year hero courses most down for murder, do you think? Surprisingly, despite being the only one to actually MAKE death threats, I'm mot sure Bakugou is all that high up there? When you've got Todo freezing people from the inside out, Mushroom Girl choking people, Honenuki drowning people and dropping industrial chimneys on them etc etc... What would your rankings be?

what better way to spend a Sunday evening than by ranking all of U.A.’s first-year students by murder.

disclaimer: I am doing this for fun and this entire post is ridiculous so please do not take it too seriously. also just a heads up, this post contains some recent manga spoilers as well as a couple of spoilers for Heroes Rising. now then, let’s quantify these bloodthirsty little savages.

okay so despite being entirely too plus ultra for their own good, approximately 99% of these kids would never dream of doing any kind of permanent harm to another living being. so I’m just listing the first thirty in no particular order, and then we’ll get to ranking the top ten.

Aoyama

despite having that brief moment in chapter 167 where virtually everyone thought he was a serial killer, Aoyama is actually a good boy. a bit stalkerish, maybe.

Mina

Mina did dream up that one attack where Ochako floats her up in the air so that she can rain acid down on people, which is slightly homicidal. but she’s not a killer. honestly if she was we’d all be dead already. see: thicc Girl Noumu.

Tsuyu

if Tsuyu had ever killed someone she would have already told everyone all about it because she is open about these things so safe to say she is not a killer.

Ochako

all Ochako wants to do is help and support people. she can be pretty hardcore from time to time but my baby girl would never. not to say that villain wouldn’t be a good look on her. I still get a shiver up my spine remembering that one time Toga turned into her and demonstrated exactly how deadly her quirk could be.

Ojiro

nah. the worst thing Ojiro has ever done was throwing his empty plain yogurt cup into the wrong recycling bin by accident, and he felt terrible about it afterward.

Kaminari

real talk, Kaminari could very easily kill a ton of people with his quirk if he actually tried. but he hasn’t, because he is only two and is too busy learning his shapes and colors and leaving his lego duplo blocks all over the carpet for other people to trip on.

Kirishima

do I even have to justify this at all. duh Kirishima doesn’t murder people sorry to anyone who came into this post all excited to read a big paragraph going off about Kiri’s raw bloodlust. I don’t know what you expected.

Kouda

Kouda is probably deadlier than everyone thinks. imagine him commanding, say, a mob of giant hornets to swarm and kill someone. it’s a good thing he wouldn’t actually hurt a fly.

Satou

I sat here for a while thinking about what I could say about Satou. but just. can you picture him killing a guy? nah, me neither.

Shouji

one of the things I like about Shouji is that he looks older than he is, and kind of creepy, what with the masked face and the freaky tentacle arms and all the like. and so he very likely experienced some of that good old fashioned quirk racism growing up, and people were afraid of him and/or thought he would become a villain. but instead he decided to become a hero. and I think that says so much about Shouji’s character. it reminds me a lot of Shinsou; his desire to become a hero was so strong that he overcame prejudice and circumstances which could just have easily have led to him becoming a villain (and in fact, it’s not all that different from some of the actual villain backstories). anyway so yeah no murder for him.

Jirou

I think she would consider killing anyone who ever hurt Momo or Kami, but aside from that NO because she is a good pure girl who loves music and rocking out and putting smiles on people’s faces.

Sero

poor Sero is so not-murdery that when he does get pitted against someone with more murdery energy such as Todoroki, he basically gets immediately overwhelmed and everyone is just kind of wincing and then timidly applauding him and saying “good try.” that’s Sero’s life. he would just sit there and get murdered rather than going in for the kill. he’s a good bro.

Mineta

needs several restraining orders filed against him, but wouldn’t actually kill someone.

Momo

well one time she did explode a grenade in Aizawa’s face. but no.

Awase

now we have come to the 1-B kids. I will give brief descriptions in case you, like me, sometimes have trouble remembering their names. so, Awase! the welding, Momo-rescuing one. he is not murdery.

Sen

the rotating limbs one. one of the least murdery kids in the fairly murderous 1-B on account of his quirk is just too ridiculous. sorry Sen.

Kuroiro

the Tokoyami one. more likely to bore you to tears talking about death than actually kill someone. which is too bad because he honestly would make a pretty bitching assassin.

Kendou

would say she’s probably in the top fifteen. god I love her quirk so much. just want her to slap some bitches to death. but she probably wouldn’t.

Shishida

the growly monster one. he does get some bonus points for tending to lose control once he goes full beastmode and werewolfs out. and he is fairly deadly.

Shouda

the roly poly double smashy one. it’s actually only a matter of time before Shouda kills someone, most likely. his quirk is way too dangerous, and the thing is, it’s probably hard for him to tell how dangerous a particular impact is going to be beforehand. one of these days it’s gonna be way stronger than he intends and somebody’s neck is gonna get snapped.

Pony

never forget that time Pony stabbed Ojiro and Shouji like a dozen times and everybody was just cool with it.

Tsuburaba

the air platform one. he did try to suffocate Kouda that one time.

Tetsutetsu

only if he’s fighting Shouto. or teamed up with Shouto. then all bets are off as to whether or not he’s going to drill his superheated steel fist right through somebody’s face.

Tokage

the severed limbs one. she just has kind of a murdery vibe to her. stalking everyone with her various body parts. yuuugh. I bet if she did kill someone nobody would ever be able to prove it was her.

Manga

the speech bubble head one. is going to destroy so much public and private property once he’s set loose on the streets. but no deaths.

Bondo

the glue one. and nah, Bondo is cool.

Koudai

the Ant-Man one. doesn’t strike me as particularly murderous, I even went and reread her part of the joint training arc to confirm it. she’s fine.

Rin

the kung fu dragon one. not especially murdery. overall probably one of the least bloodthirsty in class 1-B in fact.

Shiozaki

the vines one. she’s extremely murdery. I can’t be the only one who thinks that, can I? Shiozaki scares the shit out of me. if I were Kaminari I would have nightmares about her.

Monoma

would murder every single member of class 1-A if he could. would be the criminal in a Detective Conan two-parter. would give a long monologue about always being the side character and never in the starring role until one day he finally couldn’t take it anymore and snapped. why does his hero costume make it look as though he’s going to steal a bunch of famous jewels out from under everyone’s noses. nah but I’m just kidding and Monoma would never actually kill someone. but one day he’s probably going to be framed for murder by a villain and Kendou and Shinsou will have to team up to defend him and catch the real culprit.

10. Yanagi

the creepy pale ghost-girl-looking one. contrary to what you are probably all thinking, her high ranking isn’t just because of her general horror film vibe, but also because she attempted to bludgeon Mina to death during the joint battle arc. but also yes it is because of her general horror film vibe.

9. Kamakiri

the stabby one. he’s up here because I’m pretty sure he tried to kill Jirou that one time. like what was he even gonna do if Bakugou hadn’t stepped in. though to be fair I don’t think he actually had his knives out at the time so maybe he was just gonna elbow her in the face or something idk.

8. Bakugou

I agree with you that Bakugou is much more bark than bite, anon. and not only is he remarkably careful and precise with his quirk and good at avoiding any collateral damage (and even better IMO ever since his supplementary training), I think that due to his various struggles with being perceived as a villain and also trying to find his own understanding of what being a hero means, he’s probably more self-aware than most of the other kids at this point when it comes to matters of “is this morally okay.” so in spite of his generally violent demeanor, I very much doubt he ever would or could actually kill someone. but he’s in the top ten because his high shounen protagonist levels do place him in the “would potentially go apeshit if and when something happened to someone he cares about” category, though. and also because he and Deku did basically attempt to disintegrate Nine, and then when Nine just dropped off the face of the earth afterwards, no one even bothered to wonder what had happened to him. which leads me to wonder if Deku and Katsuki straight up assume they did in fact kill him and just dgaf.

7. Deku

see above re: Nine. and also he may have to kill AFO one day. so while he probably wouldn’t be happy about it, I think he could still potentially do it. and also because he absolutely does lose his gotdamn mind every time someone hurts one of his friends, and especially Kacchan, and I could picture him just snapping if something really awful ever actually did happen. I don’t think it would in canon because it’s just way too dark, but I don’t think it’d be out of character if he did.

6. Iida

literally tracked down the villain who attacked his brother with the full intent of personally killing said villain once he got his hands on him. true, Shouto and Deku talked him out of it in the end, but still. that was some real motherfucking killing intent. also I will never forget the image of this kid sitting his ass down in middle of the woods and mutilating his own goddamn body without any anesthesia. listen, everyone. just please, for your own safety, do not fuck with Iida.

5. Shouto

and now we reach the top five. listen, feel free to disagree, but I stand firm in my belief that out of all the non-traitor and non-demon-possessed children in class 1-A, Todoroki Shouto is absolutely the most likely to straight up just kill a bitch one day. this boy froze a man from the inside out until a tower of fucking ice was jutting out of his fucking throat, and was all “go ahead and hibernate for a while” like excuse me, THE FUCK. and the thing is, this wasn’t just a one-time occurrence either; he literally pulls this kind of shit ALL THE TIME. froze an entire fucking building with his classmates in it and was all “feel free to bring it on but fighting without the soles of your feet will be painful.” heh. what the fuck. and do you all remember when he fought Sero and was in a bad mood so he iced half the fucking stadium. nearly killed a few people right then and there. “I got carried away.” whaaaaaaat. and I could go on and on; he nearly burned poor Shindou alive, and basically the entirety of chapter 205 could have been submitted as evidence in a court of law had that training battle against Tetsutetsu gone only slightly differently. basically Shouto is an entirely too realistic portrayal of a very sweet but marginally unstable boy with a completely broken power and a shitload of unresolved personal trauma which he is still working through.

4. Honenuki

somehow more murdery than Todoroki “HIBERNATE!!” Shouto. this is entirely because of chapter 205, formerly the most murdery chapter of the entire series, and dethroned only by the recent chapter 266 for obvious reasons. anyway so during the joint training battle, Honenuki bludgeoned Todoroki in the back of the head and would probably have let his unconscious body slump into the softened ground to drown had Iida not saved him. he then proceeded to drop a water tower on top of the both of them. a whole-ass water tower. this was a fucking training exercise. and Honenuki was the only one who kept his calm throughout the entirely of said exercise. and he was praised for his calm murdering skills afterward. because he was fucking awesome tbh. anyway but the point is this is supposed to be a hero school not an assassin school but I’m not really sure anymore you guys.

3. Tokoyami

my man would have straight up killed Moonfish in that forest and sure did try his best. he’s got the same issue as Todoroki in that his quirk is as powerful as it is unstable. and while he himself is not murdery, when Dark Shadow loses control, though… hooooh boy. I was gonna add something about him also interning under Takami “literally stabbed my friend in the neck for the greater good” Keigo, but I think that makes them both come off as more sinister than they actually are. I do think a big part of Tokoyami’s story is him overcoming his inner darkness and wresting control of it and mastering it, so I don’t think it’s very likely that he actually will kill someone in the story. but he’s got a murdery side, no two ways about it.

2. Toadette

straight up filled Tokoyami’s windpipe with mushrooms during a training exercise. he uses that to breathe, fyi. she then offered him a lozenge afterward. do not fuck with Toadette. do not. just don’t.

1. Hagakure

last but not least! Hagakure “hasn’t killed anyone officially but is also definitely the traitor” Tooru! y’all know how it is! I’m committed to this theory! I’d even be willing to put money on a reveal scene where she does just straight up kill someone, and that’s our cliffhanger establishing that the traitor is none other than! and this is coming up sooner than you might think too, guys. Horikoshi brought up the traitor again relatively recently during the Christmas Eve chapter, and that kind of foreshadowing isn’t for nothing. anyways I’m here for it though so bring on that body count you funky little turncoat.

so there you have it. my not-that-definitive definitive ranking of classes 1-A and 1-B by murderous inclination. there’s really not that much rhyme or reason to it tbh but this was fun, thank you anon!

[aboveallarescuer]

Daenerys Targaryen in A Storm of Swords vs Game of Thrones - Episode 3.5: Kissed by Fire

In this series of posts, I intend to analyze precisely how the show writers downplayed or erased several key aspects of Daenerys Targaryen’s characterization, even when they had the books to help them write her as the compelling, intelligent, compassionate, frugal, open-minded and self-critical character that GRRM created.

I want to make it clear that these posts are not primarily meant to offer a better alternative to what the show writers gave us. I understand that they had many constraints (e.g. other storylines to handle, a limited amount of time to write the scripts, budget, actors who may have asked for a certain number of lines, etc) working against them. However, considering how disrespectful the show’s ending was to Daenerys Targaryen and how the book material that they left out makes it even more ludicrous to think that she will also become a villain in A Song of Ice and Fire, I believe that these reviews are more than warranted. They are meant to dissect everything about Dany’s characterization that was lost in translation, with a lot of book evidence to corroborate my statements.

Since these reviews will dissect scene by scene, I recommend taking a look at this post because I will use its sequence to order Dany’s scenes.

This post is relevant in case you want to know which chapters were adapted in which GoT episodes (however, I didn’t make the list myself, all the information comes from the GoT Wiki, so I can’t guarantee that it’s 100% reliable).

In general, I will call the Dany from the books “Dany” and the Dany from the TV series “show!Dany”.

Scene 5

This episode was written by Bryan Cogman, but he admits here that the scenes in Essos were actually written by D&D.

Before I talk about the scene itself, we need to consider that its premise is flawed to begin with. Neither Barristan nor Jorah are known for making jokes and being friendly and amusing in general, they are actually known for lacking a sense of humor:

And Daario Naharis made her laugh, which Ser Jorah never did. (ASOS Daenerys V)

~

"Give that tongue of yours a rest unless you'd rather I tied it in a knot."

Tyrion swallowed his retort. His lip was still fat and swollen from the last time he had pushed the big knight too far. Hard hands and no sense of humor makes for a bad marriage. That much he'd learned on the road from Selhorys. (ADWD Tyrion VII)

~

Twice exiled, and small wonder, Tyrion thought. I'd exile him too if I could. The man is cold, brooding, sullen, deaf to humor. And those are his good points. (ADWD Tyrion VIII)

*

Littlefinger was the last. As Ned looked to him, Lord Petyr stifled a yawn. "When you find yourself in bed with an ugly woman, the best thing to do is close your eyes and get on with it," he declared. "Waiting won't make the maid any prettier. Kiss her and be done with it."

"Kiss her?" Ser Barristan repeated, aghast.

"A steel kiss," said Littlefinger. (AGOT Eddard VIII)

~

In the purple hall, Dany found her ebon bench piled high about with satin pillows. The sight brought a wan smile to her lips. Ser Barristan’s work, she knew. The old knight was a good man, but sometimes very literal. It was only a jape, ser, she thought, but she sat on one of the pillows just the same. (ADWD Daenerys II)

Which is not to say that they can't ever laugh at people's jokes or make jokes themselves, but it's noticeable that the show's time to depict Dany's storyline is limited and that they still chose to write a scene that has little to do with their core personality traits.

Even more importantly, these two are unable to be friendly with one another because Jorah is too suspicious of Barristan and wants to isolate Dany from other men:

“In King’s Landing, your ancestors raised an immense domed castle for their dragons. The Dragonpit, it is called. It still stands atop the Hill of Rhaenys, though all in ruins now. That was where the royal dragons dwelt in days of yore, and a cavernous dwelling it was, with iron doors so wide that thirty knights could ride through them abreast. Yet even so, it was noted that none of the pit dragons ever reached the size of their ancestors. The maesters say it was because of the walls around them, and the great dome above their heads.”

“If walls could keep us small, peasants would all be tiny and kings as large as giants,” said Ser Jorah. “I’ve seen huge men born in hovels, and dwarfs who dwelt in castles.”

“Men are men,” Whitebeard replied. “Dragons are dragons.”

Ser Jorah snorted his disdain. “How profound.” The exile knight had no love for the old man, he’d made that plain from the first. “What do you know of dragons, anyway?” (ASOS Daenerys I)

~

“It was said that no man ever knew Prince Rhaegar, truly. I had the privilege of seeing him in tourney, though, and often heard him play his harp with its silver strings.”

Ser Jorah snorted. “Along with a thousand others at some harvest feast. Next you’ll claim you squired for him.” (ASOS Daenerys I)

~

“A warrior without peer ... those are fine words, Your Grace, but words win no battles.”

“Swords win battles,” Ser Jorah said bluntly. “And Prince Rhaegar knew how to use one.” (ASOS Daenerys I)


~

“...A change in the wind may bring the gift of victory.” He glanced at Ser Jorah. “Or a lady’s favor knotted round an arm.”

Mormont’s face darkened. “Be careful what you say, old man.”

Arstan had seen Ser Jorah fight at Lannisport, Dany knew, in the tourney Mormont had won with a lady’s favor knotted round his arm. He had won the lady too; Lynesse of House Hightower, his second wife, highborn and beautiful ... but she had ruined him, and abandoned him, and the memory of her was bitter to him now. “Be gentle, my knight.” She put a hand on Jorah’s arm. “Arstan had no wish to give offense, I’m certain.”

“As you say, Khaleesi.” Ser Jorah’s voice was grudging. (ASOS Daenerys I)

~

Ser Jorah watched with a frown on his blunt honest face. Mormont was big and burly, strong of jaw and thick of shoulder. Not a handsome man by any means, but as true a friend as Dany had ever known. “You would be wise to take that old man’s words well salted,” he told her when Whitebeard was out of earshot.

[...] “This Arstan Whitebeard is playing you false. He is too old to be a squire, and too well spoken to be serving that oaf of a eunuch.” (ASOS Daenerys I)

~

“Sit, good ser, and tell me what is troubling you.”

“Three things.” Ser Jorah sat. “Strong Belwas. This Arstan Whitebeard. And Illyrio Mopatis, who sent them.” (ASOS Daenerys I)

~

But when Mero was gone, Arstan Whitebeard said, “That one has an evil reputation, even in Westeros. Do not be misled by his manner, Your Grace. He will drink three toasts to your health tonight, and rape you on the morrow.”

“The old man’s right for once,” Ser Jorah said. (ASOS Daenerys IV)

~

“Whilst you have an honest beard, is that what you are telling me? You are the only man I should ever trust?”

He stiffened. “I did not say that.”

“You say it every day. Pyat Pree’s a liar, Xaro’s a schemer, Belwas a braggart, Arstan an assassin ... do you think I’m still some virgin girl, that I cannot hear the words behind the words?” (ASOS Daenerys IV)

~

“Khaleesi, before you kneels Ser Barristan Selmy, Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, who betrayed your House to serve the Usurper Robert Baratheon.”

The old knight did not so much as blink. “The crow calls the raven black, and you speak of betrayal.” (ASOS Daenerys V)

I doubt their book counterparts would spend their time apart from Dany talking to each other about their pasts, and I think that's a significant change because it's another way that makes show!Jorah (whose book counterpart is a slaver who tries to groom, isolate and undermine Dany) be seen in a much more positive light than in the books.

*

JORAH: It was a bitch of a siege.

BARRISTAN: Mm, you were first through the breach at Pyke?

JORAH: The second. Thoros of Myr went in alone, waving that flaming sword of his.

BARRISTAN: Thoros of Myr. Bloody madman. Robert knighted you after the battle?

JORAH: Proudest moment of my life. One knee in the dust, the king's sword on my shoulder, listening to the words. "In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave." All I could think of was how badly I had to piss. In full plate metal for 16 hours. Never occurred to me till the fighting was over. I was very nearly the first man knighted to piss on the king's boots.

In the books, the siege of Pyke is brought up in this context:

“By then my father had taken the black, so I was Lord of Bear Island in my own right. I had no lack of marriage offers, but before I could reach a decision Lord Balon Greyjoy rose in rebellion against the Usurper, and Ned Stark called his banners to help his friend Robert. The final battle was on Pyke. When Robert’s stonethrowers opened a breach in King Balon’s wall, a priest from Myr was the first man through, but I was not far behind. For that I won my knighthood.”

“To celebrate his victory, Robert ordained that a tourney should be held outside Lannisport. It was there I saw Lynesse, a maid half my age. She had come up from Oldtown with her father to see her brothers joust. I could not take my eyes off her. In a fit of madness, I begged her favor to wear in the tourney, never dreaming she would grant my request, yet she did.”

[...] “What did she look like, your Lady Lynesse?”

Ser Jorah smiled sadly. “Why, she looked a bit like you, Daenerys.” He bowed low. “Sleep well, my queen.”

Dany shivered, and pulled the lionskin tight about her. She looked like me. It explained much that she had not truly understood. He wants me, she realized. He loves me as he loved her, not as a knight loves his queen but as a man loves a woman. She tried to imagine herself in Ser Jorah’s arms, kissing him, pleasuring him, letting him enter her. It was no good. When she closed her eyes, his face kept changing into Drogo’s.

[...] She had heard the longing in Ser Jorah’s voice when he spoke of his Bear Island. He can never have me, but one day I can give him back his home and honor. That much I can do for him. (ACOK Daenerys I)

As we can see above, the siege of Pyke is brought up to contextualize Jorah and Lynesse's relationship and parallel their relationship with Dany and Jorah's current one. It is there to service Dany's storyline, motivations and relationships - with that backstory, she realizes at that point that, while Jorah loves her, she can't love him back. This makes her feel guilty, so much so that she thinks she has to compensate by bringing him back home. This is also an instance that displays how deeply ingrained patriarchal views are on this universe - because Dany is a woman, she thinks she owes her knight something in return for his protection. The roles of liege and object of desire intersect in a way that wouldn't happen to a king.

But why am I saying all of this? My point is that connections between past and present in ASOIAF matter only to the extent that they say something about our POV characters. The Arianne/Rhaenyra and Arianne/Nymeria comparisons matter only to the extent that they inform Arianne's motivations and storyline, as well as the Jon Snow/Blackfyres one, which informs Catelyn's views on Jon. By contrast, the show brought up the siege in Pyke only so that we would empathize with show!Jorah again, but that was never the main purpose in the books, in which the backstory primarily serviced Dany's character. But then, the show writers are intent on erasing how creepy and disrespectful Jorah's treatment of Dany in the books is.

Also, the only new detail that they added was that Jorah wanted to urinate while Robert was knighting him. Was that really necessary?

BARRISTAN: Robert would have laughed. He was a good man, a great warrior. And a terrible king. I burned away my years fighting for terrible kings.

In the books, Barristan has more conflicted feelings about Robert Baratheon than he ever lets on in the show:

“Some truths are hard to hear. Robert was a ... a good knight ... chivalrous,
brave ... he spared my life, and the lives of many others ...[”] (ASOS Daenerys VI)

~

I came to bring Daenerys home. Yet he had lost her, just as he had lost her father and her brother. Even Robert. I failed him too. (ADWD The Queensguard)

~

And what did Robert say when he saw them? Did he smile? Barristan Selmy had been badly wounded on the Trident, so he had been spared the sight of Lord Tywin's gift, but oft he wondered. If I had seen him smile over the red ruins of Rhaegar's children, no army on this earth could have stopped me from killing him. (ADWD The Kingsguard)

Barristan may admit Robert's value as a knight (highly questionable as it is), praise him for showing mercy to the Targaryen loyalists and be ashamed for "failing" him. At the same time, Barristan still feels anger for the deaths of Rhaegar's children, so much so that he can't stop himself from thinking he would avenge them if he had seen Robert smiling at the sight of their corpses. Also, when he thinks about the people he failed, he thinks that he failed "even Robert", which shows that he had considerably less regard for him than he did either Dany or Rhaegar.

I don't think Barristan would ever call Robert a "good man", and I think his feelings for Robert are particularly important because they inform Barristan's siding with Ned when he asks Robert not to kill Dany, as well as why he chose to follow Viserys (Rhaegar's heir) instead of Stannis (Robert's heir) and why he demands that the Shavepate does not kill Dany's hostages if he is to side with him.

Also, again, Barristan would never share his personal feelings (much less negative ones) about anyone with Jorah.

The infuriating part, though, is this one:

JORAH: You swore an oath.

BARRISTAN: Yes. And a man of honor keeps his vows, even if he's serving a drunk or a lunatic. Just once in my life before it's over, I want to know what it's like to serve with pride, to fight for someone I believe in. Do you believe in her?

JORAH: With all my heart.

First, they portray show!Jorah as a reliable source as to whether we should trust show!Dany or not. While one might argue that these are two different characters, not only the erasure of Jorah's negative behaviors for the sake of an unrequited love story is still disgusting, but Jorah was never a reliable source about Dany in the books.

Second, Barristan's arc is partly about finding out on his own that Dany is a worthy liege after spending years following bad kings:

“...The truth is, I wanted to watch you for a time before pledging you my sword. To make certain that you were not ...”

“... my father’s daughter?” If she was not her father’s daughter, who was she?

“... mad,” he finished. “But I see no taint in you.”
 (ASOS Daenerys VI)

~

“So I am a coin in the hands of some god, is that what you are saying, ser?”

“No,” Ser Barristan replied. “You are the trueborn heir of Westeros. To the end of my days I shall remain your faithful knight, should you find me worthy to bear a sword again. If not, I am content to serve Strong Belwas as his squire.”  (ASOS Daenerys VI)

~

“I flung my sword at Joffrey’s feet and have not touched one since. Only from the hand of my queen will I accept a sword again.”

“As you wish.” Dany took the sword from Brown Ben and offered it hilt first. The old man took it reverently. “Now kneel,” she told him, “and swear it to my service.”

He went to one knee and lay the blade before her as he said the words.  (ASOS Daenerys VI)

~

“Freedom to starve?” asked Dany sharply. “Freedom to die? Am I a dragon, or a harpy?” Am I mad? Do I have the taint?

“A dragon,” Ser Barristan said with certainty. (ASOS Daenerys VI)

Having show!Barristan ask show!Jorah's opinion on show!Dany diminishes the impact of the passages above, which display his own judgment based on the time he spent on Dany's side.

Having show!Barristan ask show!Jorah's opinion on show!Dany undercuts Barristan's arc. The show writers might have show!Barristan say that he wants to "fight for someone [he] believe[s] in", but that's just lip service; these words ring hollow because we don't see him finding out for himself.

Could the show writers have added an original scene that gives the characters around show!Dany more to do? Of course (though I've argued before that even the scenes focusing on show!Dany are often seen from the viewpoint of her advisors and prevent us from fully experiencing the journey with show!Dany herself). But they should have thought about whether it fits into their characterizations in the books and, if it doesn't, why is that change necessary? What does having show!Barristan not find out on his own that show!Dany is a liege worth following cause besides undermining both Dany's and Barristan's characters? What does having show!Jorah not be a creepy and be a reliable source about show!Dany cause besides making a slaver look better?

*

Show!Grey Worm's first scene has its strengths. I like how it displays show!Dany's genuine empathy for the Unsullied, as well as show!Grey Worm's admiration for her. The actors gave good performances. There is one departure from the books (that I don't really understand the purpose of; they probably forgot about it), though:

DAENERYS: What is your name?

GREY WORM: Grey Worm.

DAENERYS: Grey Worm...

MISSANDEI: All Unsullied boys are given new names when they are cut ... Grey Worm, Red Flea, Black Rat. Names that remind them what they are ... vermin.

The books go even further on the slavers' dehumanization of the Unsullied:

“This one’s name is Red Flea, your worship.”


The girl repeated their exchange in the Common Tongue.


“And yesterday, what was it?”


“Black Rat, your worship.”


“The day before?”


“Brown Flea, your worship.”


“Before that?”


“This one does not recall, your worship. Blue Toad, perhaps. Or Blue Worm.”

“Tell her all their names are such,” Kraznys commanded the girl. “It reminds them that by themselves they are vermin. The name disks are thrown in an empty cask at duty’s end, and each dawn plucked up again at random.”

“More madness,” said Arstan, when he heard. “How can any man possibly remember a new name every day?”

“Those who cannot are culled in training, along with those who cannot run all day in full pack, scale a mountain in the black of night, walk across a bed of coals, or slay an infant.” (ASOS Daenerys II)

Not only their names remind them that they are vermin, they are also changed every day so that they lose their sense of individuality. 

Even with this change, I'd say that the scene still conveys how unacceptable and cruel the slavers' treatment was.

There are other changes that I find more concerning. The first is the most inconsequential: why is show!Missandei calling show!Dany khaleesi instead of Your Grace? Only Jorah and her khalasar call her by that title in the books. I suppose this is a Doylist issue since s3!Dany was more recognized as "khaleesi" than "Daenerys" by the audience, but it still goes against their characterizations.

The second is that, as I said in my 3.4 review, this scene would have made more sense in Astapor:

One of the first things Dany had done after the fall of Astapor was abolish the custom of giving the Unsullied new slave names every day. Most of those born free had returned to their birth names; those who still remembered them, at least. Others had called themselves after heroes or gods, and sometimes weapons, gems, and even flowers, which resulted in soldiers with some very peculiar names, to Dany’s ears. Grey Worm had remained Grey Worm. When she asked him why, he said, “It is a lucky name. The name this one was born to was accursed. That was the name he had when he was taken for a slave. But Grey Worm is the name this one drew the day Daenerys Stormborn set him free.” (ASOS Daenerys IV)

Dany still had to choose which freedmen would occupy the ruling council, so I assume she stayed in Astapor for a few days. With that in mind, if abolishing the custom of new slave names was one of the first things Dany did after the fall of Astapor, it's much more likely that she did it there rather than on the march to Yunkai. Why couldn't they have written this scene there? Because seeing her leave Astapor makes for a more visually impressive scene, I guess. As I said before, though, it gives weight to the superficial reading that show!Dany only went to the city, took its military force and left (even if we'll later find out that she also installed a ruling council there in 4.5). Being faithful to the books would've prevented any misconception of this sort from happening.

My third and final issue is that this scene is meant to be of secondary importance in the books. As one can see in ASOS Daenerys IV, it only appears as a brief flashback in the context of a scene in which Dany is seen giving Grey Worm military orders. That's because the focus of the chapter is on Dany's character development as a leader and a military tactician (similar to how ASOS Daenerys VI only shows the conquest of Meereen as a brief flashback in the context of Jorah telling Dany that her "sewer rats" won her the city; that's because the focus of the chapter is less on the adrenaline and victory and more on the aftermath of the sack and its negative consequences, intertwined with Dany's personal problems).

One might argue that we could have had both this scene and show!Dany's character development in the next episodes. However, as I will explain in future reviews, the show writers don't care about show!Dany's character development at all, which is why it becomes enough of an issue for me to bring it up.

*

JORAH: King Robert wanted her dead.

BARRISTAN: Of course he wanted her dead. She's a Targaryen. The last Targaryen.

JORAH: I suppose no one on the small council could speak sense to him.

In this interview with Bryan Cogman, Elio Garcia interprets show!Jorah's actions as if he were "fishing for information about just what Barristan knew about him and his dealings with Varys". That's not an unreasonable guess, but it's another one that does a disservice to Barristan's character. In the books, Barristan only hid information from Dany about Jorah because revealing Jorah's betrayal would mean revealing his identity. If his identity had been already revealed, he would have told her much earlier - that's what happens right after she finds out that he's Barristan Selmy, after all:

“...And since the day you wed Khal Drogo, there has been an informer by your side selling your secrets, trading whispers to the Spider for gold and promises.” (ASOS Daenerys V)

However, because the show writers probably know this, they made another change just as detrimental to Barristan's character:

BARRISTAN: I didn't sit on the small council.

JORAH: No? Doesn't the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard traditionally ...

BARRISTAN: Traditionally, yes, but I killed a dozen of Robert's friends during his rebellion. He didn't want advice on how to govern from a man who had fought for the Mad King. Can't say I minded much. I always hated the politics.

I'm not saying that the Barristan of the books loves the politics or that he's one of the best political players of the books. Far from that. Still, his character development culminates in these realizations:

The gods of Westeros were far away, yet Ser Barristan Selmy paused for a moment to say a silent prayer, asking the Crone to light his way to wisdom. For the children, he told himself. For the city. For my queen. (ADWD The Queensguard)

~

His queen was the Mother of Dragons; he would not allow her children to come to harm. (ADWD The Kingbreaker)

~

"You would break King Hizdahr's peace, old man?"

"I would shatter it." Once, long ago, a prince had named him Barristan the Bold. A part of that boy was in him still. (ADWD The Queen's Hand)

Before Dany, Barristan remained silent as he watched Aerys and Robert committing atrocities and abusing their power. After Dany, he's not only revolting against a bad king (Hizdahr), he's also taking on her anti-slavery cause and declaring war against the slavers. That's character development. Siding with Ned against Dany's death was Barristan’s first (albeit small) act of rebellion and the beginning of an arc that will later lead him to fight against slavery because of the very girl whose murder he opposed.

On HBO, not only we'll never see show!Barristan doing any of this (because he'll be killed off earlier), we are seeing him dismiss the importance of political action, which is the very opposite of the ultimate realization of his book counterpart's arc. And what's worse is that all of these changes are being made for the sake of show!Jorah's character.

*

JORAH: Yeah, I imagine I would, too. Hours spent jabbering about backstabbings and betrayals the world over.

I don't know if show!Jorah reducing politics to "jabbering about backstabbings and betrayals the world over" is necessarily proof that this is what the show writers think. That being said, that dismissal can be considered foreshadowing of how little they will care about adapting Dany's ADWD storyline properly. It can also be interpreted as proof of how they tend to oversimplify the characters according to their basic archetypes. If Jorah and Barristan are warriors, of course they don't care about politics and are friendly with each other (all men are friendly with each other and all women are catty with each other, right? See also: Tyrion/Davos, Jon/Gendry, Sansa/Arya, Dany/Sansa, etc).

BARRISTAN: Mm-hmm. Still, she'll have to wade through that muck if she wants to rule the Seven Kingdoms. She'll have good men around her to advise her, men with experience.

JORAH: Which men do you have in mind?

BARRISTAN: Forgive me, Ser Jorah, for what I'm about to say, but your reputation in Westeros has suffered over the years.

JORAH: It suffered for a reason. I sold men into slavery.

BARRISTAN: I don't know if your presence by her side will help our cause when we go home.

JORAH: Our cause? Forgive me, Ser Barristan, but I was busy defending the khaleesi against King Robert's assassins while you were still bowing to the man.

BARRISTAN: We both want her to rule. Am I wrong?

JORAH: You only joined us a few days ago. I can't speak to your intentions.

BARRISTAN: If we're truly her loyal servants, we will do whatever needs to be done, no matter the cost, no matter our pride.

JORAH: You're not Lord Commander here. You're just another exile. And I take my orders from the queen.

First, I don’t know why the heck would show!Barristan tell show!Jorah rather than show!Dany that Jorah’s presence might not help her cause. Not only it makes him dumb (because show!Jorah obviously wouldn't take that well), it also makes it seem that he likes show!Jorah enough to advise him to leave, which is not true at all in the books, as I've already showed above.

Second, I hate that this exchange makes it seem that show!Jorah feels guilty for selling men into slavery (he doesn't in the books). He was still trying to normalize slavery in 3.1 and 3.3!

*

I know that fandom tends to praise Bryan Cogman for trying to correct plot holes and for paying attention to the books' events and the show's continuity. That knowledge doesn't mean he necessarily understands the characters well - he certainly does not understand Dany well, and this comment is proof of his ignorance:

“Yeah, it’s probably refreshing for Iain Glen! How many times can he explain something about Essos culture to Dany?  ;)”

If he really understood Dany, he would also say that we don't just see Jorah giving Dany knowledge. We also see her retain that knowledge and apply it later, we also see that she has knowledge of her own (because, let's not forget, she has lived in Essos for almost her whole life, certainly for a longer period than Jorah) and we also see her making decisions of her own volition. The misconception that Dany is ignorant and too reliant on the men around her is dismissive of her character, but it unfortunately informs the show's writing of her, for they erase many moments showcasing her intelligence and competence.

He also says that "the Dany stuff is a challenge" because of the lack of material, which is a flimsy excuse - many key scenes of her chapters were cut (see here), even if she doesn't have a lot of chapters in ASOS. Lack of material to adapt was never an issue for anyone in any storyline. The show writers should have been overwhelmed with the amount of material they had and the necessity to select them properly (which they failed to do because they mostly looked at the scenes as plot points).

I'm nitpicking his comments, admittedly, because he also said that (show!)Dany's story is "the rise of a villain". He really doesn't know anything about her.

*

For this review, there's no comment of mine on any Inside the Episode because D&D's Inside the Episode 3.5 doesn't talk about show!Dany's storyline. I'm not commenting on show!Dany's clothes either because she's wearing the same clothes from episode 3.4 and I've talked about them here.

[sassysweetstories]

the dead pool

Request: “TW and Percy Jackson imagine the reader is Scott demigod half sister and she comes home after awhile w/ the wars and stuff and the dead pool list is happening and the reader is on the list bcuz she is a demigod and stuff like that she new about their world but they never new about hers besides Deaton and their mom.” 

Ship: Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader under-tones 

Warnings: angst, yelling, fighting, blood, war, conflict, fluff, swearing, flirting, etc. 

Notes: none of these gifs are mine, credit to owners. I didn’t get to this season so I apologize if any of this is incorrect 

Third P.O.V

(Y/n) stood above the carcas, reveling in the blood and fight that had finally been quenched inside her heart. Ever since the young girl could walk, there was a thirst unlike any other. No food or drink could quench her hunger. A supposed “gift” given to her by her father, Ares, god of war. Though few, children of Ares lusted over violence and physical untamed aspects of conflict thanks to dear ol’ dad. (Y/n), on the the contrary, was built more like a daughter of Athena, blessed with her mother’s brains however cursed for fight, so much so one salivated to the thought. 

Melissa met Alex, Ares name given at the time, outside a nightclub. Alex planned on creating complete havoc, pain and anguish that would make mortals perish. Melissa had first seen him pull up in a motorcycle, the deep color of a raven. And with a face that would steer most away. His rough exterior almost covered up his small gruff beard and warm chocolate brown eyes. Women asked themselves if he terrified them or excited them. But good girls like bad boys. And Melissa was no different from the majority. 

And for the first time, Alex swayed from his mission and enjoyed the frisky college graduate. That night, he took her away and treated her just the way she’d hoped for. Rough, lustful embrace and only highs between the two. They spent the next few days together, throwing caution to the wind before Melissa would return home to continue her nursing career. He enjoyed the wild woman who was as rough with him as he was with her, couldn’t believe a human could tame him. They separated and soon, Melissa found out she was pregnant, changing her life forever. 

(Y/n) took her father’s built, tall and strong. But she wore her mothers gorgeous facial features, entrancing everyone with her gaze. The combination of both created the perfect soldier, the perfect demi-god warrior. Pleasing not only her mother but especially her father. Ares believed himself to be cruel, a heartless god without compassion or love. (Y/n) refused to believe that though, knowing well he’s been watching over her since birth. Sending her little signs of himself to her just the way he may for all his children, she wasn’t sure about that last one though. 

Cleaning off her blade to sheath, she made her way back to Beacon Hills. There would be no blood shed this night or the next. Her lust and thirst had been quenched and she longed for her little family. Tonight, she would not serve Camp-Half Blood, nor would she take orders from her superiors, not even the Gods. Tonight, she wanted to be a normal twenty-two year old college student. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scott’s eyes never left the list, heart beating quickly as he scanned the names. The pack stood around the kitchen, some trying to look strong while others wore their fear plainly. What haunted Scott more were the kids who were slashed out. Dead. Mercilessly murdered to rebuild something better. An idea created from the mind of a lunatic. Stiles looked over his shoulder, gawking outright as the young boy pointed to the screen. “Son of a bitch..” The tone that left his friends mouth drove fear down Scott’s spine. 

“What?’ He asked, not actually wanting to know the answer to the question. 

“Is that...” Stiles pauses. “Your sister..?” Scott’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. Not wanting to believe his eyes. But there it was. (Y/n) McCall. The highest name on the list. Suddenly, he heard the front door creek open. Scott stands with blinding speed, almost throwing the chair to the side in the process. Though human, Stiles is the first to throw himself into the danger, bat in hand. His heart beating out of his chest for the first girl he ever had a crush on, worry washing over him as they make their way over to the living room. 

Turning over the corner, they came to an abrupt stop. Melissa held her eldest child, clutching her close and pulling her down to her level. A few faint tears slipped from the mothers eyes, longing for her beautiful daughter. She looked tall and strong, built like a bolder with the face of a goddess. “Mom, get away from her..” Scott’s voice croaked, fear festering in his heart. Melissa pulled away perplexed before he answered. “She’s on the list..” The older woman sighed, stepping in between the two which made him more confused. (Y/n) put her hand on her mother’s shoulder, smiling softly. 

“It’s time, mama.. He’s old enough to know.. “ Small but distinct tears slipped down her mother’s cheeks when she nodded before clearing her throat. “You kids better sit down for this..” Scott sits amongst the pack, on the edge of his seat, begging to understand why his older sister was on the dead pool. (Y/n) leads Melissa over to sit before standing amongst her brother and his friends. She smiles faintly to Stiles, noticing how much he filled out into the man he is today. 

“Before you were born-” She says to Scott, “Before I was even born, mom met a man at a nightclub. His name was Alex. Or that’s he told her. They fooled around and not long after mom returned home to continue her nursing career, she became pregnant with me. When she was with Alex, he told her something strange. Something she didn’t believe because it was far too insane to be real. That was until she gave birth to me and she believed..” 

Glancing over to her mother for confirmation to continue. And with a simple nod, she drove on. “Alex had told her his real name.. Ares.. God of war. During her pregnancy, women often go through unbelievable amounts of pain.. Mom didn’t. I took all of her pain. Ares loves violence, conflict, enticing pain, and practically feeds off it. And that’s exactly what I did. I took all her pain away, fed off of it almost.. That’s when she started questioning. When I cut my hand, reveling in the blood and pain, the gash quickly healed. But that’s when she knew for certain.” 

Melissa sighed, feeling quietly for keeping such information from her son as her daughter continued. “Scott, what I’m trying to tell you is.. I’m a demi-god. When my.. aggressive tendencies became too much for mom and Deaton to handle, she sent me to Camp-Half Blood. A school for demi-gods. It’s a place where we can not only get our human education but understand the gods and goddess, how to fight and survive and train. I’m one of the top ranking demi-gods. The past two years, I’ve been sent around the world on missions sent by the gods in order to keep tranquility. Funny to think they would send a demi-god who loves conflict to stop conflict.” 

Silence. He wasn’t sure what to say. But the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. (Y/n) was aggressive, never to Scott or Stiles, rather gentle with them actually. But when it came to people who picked on them, she could be vicious. She was far stronger than the whole lacrosse team combined. “Scott-” She mutters, drawing his attention. “I don’t want you to think of me as a monster.. I would never hurt you..” He knows that deep down. Maybe that’s why he’s quick to pull her into a much needed embrace. “I missed you.. so much.” He admits, openly. 

When she pulls away, she sniffs. “Also, why does it smell like dog in here?” This time Scott laughs outright, beckoning her over to a chair. “Now I think it’s time for you to sit. There’s a lot I have to catch you up on.” (Y/n) misses this, the connection she had with her family, though jagged and strange, she ached for it. And for at least tonight, things would be as normal as they could be. 

(I hope you guys liked it. Please comment below) 

[primordial0riginator]

WILFY AND LANE >:3c

Ah yeah two of the oldest bitches I GOT let’s GO!

Wilfy

Full Name: Winnifred Muneera | Wilfy as a nickname

Gender and Sexuality: cis female and bisexual

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: She’s a holy variation of a species I made when I was like 10 years old. This species is basically sentient magic and takes the physical appearance of any species it wants. Holy ones are called Skytopians. Wilfy takes the form of a little cat or half cat/half human most of the time.

Birthplace and Birthdate: She was born in Skytopia, which is basically a big kingdom that is located in the clouds. She’s the heir to the throne so she’s a princess. Her birthday is April 8th.

Guilty Pleasures:

-Goofing off on Earth rather than going and doing her princess duties in the sky

-Being lazy and napping on clouds

-Cooking, but moreso the act of it rather than eating anything so she mostly gives food away a lot.

Phobias:

-Death of herself and those around her

-Caverns, canyons, pits, caves, etc. Basically anything that’s dark and gaping and looks as if if you fall in it will suck you in and kill you. She feels like she’s suffocating around these kinds of things.

-Very unnatural and disturbing imagery, ESPECIALLY body horror. If there’s something bending the wrong way, even if it’s like a broken limb, she will probably cry lmao it freaks her out

What They Would Be Famous For: Just being a good person honestly. She does a lot of good and selfless things all the time

What They Would Get Arrested For: Helping the wrong kind of person and getting framed for something she didn’t do

OC You Ship Them With: no one rn. I really want someone for her but I have no idea what to do for a partner at the moment jdkskdks

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Silverhaunt. It isn’t that he hates HER but he hates everything she’s directly connected to so yeah he’d try to kill her ass on sight if he could lmao

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Probably comedy for both tbh

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Horror anything for movies and the good ole “everything sucks and nothing gets better” book endings

Talents and/or Powers:

-Very good at flying with her wings. Maneuvers herself very well even against strong winds and storms and such

-Gets along with pretty much everyone unless they’re awful lmao

-Her magic type is healing and she’s very good at doing so, but she cannot heal herself ironically

-She surprisingly is good with swords, but that’s mostly a very little known fact

Why Someone Might Love Them: there is literally no reason to not love her I’m not gonna lie. I mean I’m biased but shhh-

I mean ok though I guess because she’s such a heavy optimist who sees the good in everything and everyone

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Idk you have bad taste or something?? /j

Ok but no realistically she does have a bad tendency to be naive and give chances to people who don’t deserve it and that is very annoying lmao

How They Change: She doesn’t change much at all if I’m being real, she’s always gonna be a relatively pure little ball of sunshine but I guess she matures a bit over time and maybe wisens up to the ways of the world at some point

Why You Love Them: she is my fucking baby. Also she encompasses a very beautiful and innocent time in my life.

Lane

Full Name: Delanie Ardere | Lane for a nickname

Gender and Sexuality: cis female and lesbian

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: Half of a species of angel that I made up, and half raposa which is a lil race of fox people from a video game lmao

Birthplace and Birthdate: She was born on a large and mostly isolated tropical island called Eptora. She was born October 26th

Guilty Pleasures:

-Reading. In fact she can mostly be found reading books somewhere about 99% of the time. Doesn’t really matter what genre most of the time

-Stargazing and astrology. She’s pretty hooked on that subject and is a major nerd about it

-Collecting weapons

Phobias:

-Being useless and weak

-Disappointing those closest to her

-Abandonment

-Burning out and dying from her magic defect

What They Would Be Famous For: Honestly? A lot of things. Bitch is kinda a badass and canonically tears down a whole ass corrupt monarchy (with help but is the general spearheader of it) just because the people involved were responsible for kidnapping her girlfriend. She’s what we call a very angry hero most of the time and that would be her claim to fame.

What They Would Get Arrested For: ....also a lot lmao. But mostly going against corrupt people and systems who would want her imprisoned for doing so. I would say other contenders are assault and property damage though

OC You Ship Them With: my dude Adam’s OC Althea. They’re very sweet together.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Buddy there’s a list of people likely who would line up for the opportunity

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Movie I would say action/adventure and book I would say mystery/thriller

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Anything she finds boring for either tbh. There’s nothing specific, but if it doesn’t give her a sense of fulfillment for finishing the story she won’t like it

Talents and/or Powers:

-Physically strong

-Knows how to use a lot of different kinds of weapons, particularly guns and blades

-A good leader who knows how to bring out the strengths in each member of her team

-Her magic is generally unable to be used until she’s at a later stage in life because of a defect in her genetics, but when she can it’s a lot of celestial type magic. So lots of spacey magic that has fire and ice as a main base for its appearance and effect. Most of the time she’ll be using magical weapons tho.

Why Someone Might Love Them: I would say because she’s a badass tbh. She’s a tough punk with a strong set of morals who never gives up and you gotta respect what she stands for, which is generally protecting and uplifting innocents that get caught up in awful circumstances

Why Someone Might Hate Them: She’s one of those people that either respect for being a hotheaded punk or you hate for being a hotheaded punk. I can see why someone wouldn’t like her broody attitude sometimes

How They Change: She gains more confidence and sense of worth for herself throughout the story after originally starting off with about none. She’ll never stop growing and changing and that’s an important part of her overall character

Why You Love Them: She’s my first OC and obviously one of the ones I’m most attached to by default because she’s grown and changed with me so much. If I had to pick one OC to be known by it’d be her. I made her to be the strong female character I wanted to see in the world and idk I just love her

[inspector-montoya-fox]

#4 - Fire in the Sky

Setting: this is out first snow level in the series, and damn does it set the bar high. let’s ignore the fact that the Panda King’s turf is an illegal scheme, and describe the hubs as serene. lanterns and cherry blossoms prevail. the pagodas make for excellent progressive gameplay, as we gradually make our way to the top. this is the episode with the most variation in gameplay: standard platforming, hover blaster, covering for Murray, racing, running away from Carmelita. but it doesn’t feel like too much, unlike Vicious Voodoo. i think it strikes a good balance because of how huge the platforming levels are. i’ll get into more detail about this point in the Characters section but China is the only setting that isn’t extremely affected by the baddie. for Sir Raleigh, everything was metallic, grand and elegant; for Muggshot, we were served with a level full of dumpster fires and graffiti; Mz Ruby’s spookiness made every level feel like a nightmare; but the Panda King doesn’t affect the location. sure, there’s the Panda King gate at the beginning or the flame pattern every now and then, but in general, this is China, not the Panda King’s China. i honestly love that. oh, and y’know, Fire in the Sky is purple, enhancing the tranquillity of the episode.

Characters: i’ll be real with y’all: Panda King was kinda meh. maybe it’s because he came directly after the two legends that were Muggshot and Mz Ruby. we have a character whose main trait is being angry enough to spark fires from his palms, but that’s all there is. other than that, he just mumbles his words. Sly 3 manages to squeeze some more out of the character by having him self-reflect, etc. but in Sly 1 he’s just an angry goof. despite this, i don’t think he’s a waste or anything. actually, SP did an excellent job of making him this way. Fire in the Sky represents a turning point in the game (more on that in the Themes section). as i’ve mentioned, the previous three episodes were defined by their villain, the landscapes predominantly designed after the baddies’ personalities; here we get a villain whose lacking character. that’s great because this takes the focus away from the Panda King and places it on Sly instead. without the Panda King constantly bombarding our screen with panda items or panda gates or panda fences, we notice other things such as Murray heading into the field twice or Sly’s development (more on that in a sec). so the Panda King plays his part perfectly. Carmelita makes her comeback after we last saw her floating away on the Muggshot balloon. see, her part in Fire in the Sky was what motivated me to write my essay on if the series is misogynist. the woman is just trying to do her job and is instead painted as a hot-headed bitch. Sly tries to tell her that these quaint temples are a front for an illegal explosives factory as if she’s too incompetent an inspector to figure things out. and not only that, but we also shoot fireworks at her until she drops into that foggy pit. it kinda irks me that Carmelita always manages to catch up to the scene of the crime after Sly is done with the bossfight, as if she needs Sly to take down the baddies (and this is seen again in Cold Heart of Hate). that’s why i love SP’s treatment of Carmelita in Sly 2 and 3: she roams the hubs because she’s on par with us, she takes down baddies by herself. meanwhile, Sly's journey towards becoming a master thief is reaching its end (if you were collecting all the book pages along the way). gaining the shadow power truly makes the player feel like a true thief. i don’t want to say that the levels become progressively harder (especially with Panda King being so easy to take down) but necessary skills are needed to traverse the levels and Sly has collected the ninja spire jump, the railslide move, and invisibility, plus all the extra moves from the vaults. his arsenal feels powerful, almost complete.

Themes: oohwee! i’ve been anticipating this moment. Sly’s bubble of naiveté finally bursts when we witness an entire village being avalanched on. up to now, the villains talked about and dwelled over their crazy schemes, but weren’t actually shown doing something bad (relative term). but now, right off the bat, the Panda King kills innocent people and we get to watch it. this is the departure from the jolly ride we’ve had, Sly coming to terms with how serious the situation is. the theme of fire perfectly captures the climax in the game’s structure, because a fire is lit under Sly’s ass. this turning point might be brought about by innocent deaths, but is completely necessary for our protagonist since it’s exactly what he needs to face the upcoming Clockwerk. i’m not sure if he finally gets it, but he certainly isn’t in the same mindset as in the previous three episodes. fire is explosive, hot, chaotic, and that’s this episode’s description. it also comes into stark contrast with the level’s tranquil nature. the snowfall, the ethereal music, the predominant purple: all these hint at China’s Buddhist beliefs on zen (later seen in Sly 3 with the Panda King’s enlightenment) and are “contradicted” by the violence, the fire, and the fast-paced music that plays when you get into trouble. setting plays a huge role in this episode. other than my explanation for dampening the Panda King to pave the way for Sly’s development, i think SP couldn’t really make a China level and overlook the culture. it’s not really a theme, but the culture and the display of ethnography is outstanding. as i’ve said above, we’re truly in China, or at least SP’s makeshift version of the country, the Westerner’s perception of Asia as a whole. it affects the gameplay, nonetheless. other motifs worth mentioning: monkeys, symmetry, and altitude. on the latter two, everything feels exhilaratingly high, perfectly constructed, and clean. i know Sly 1′s design is clunky and chunky, like the animation’s thick lines with sharp edges and corners, but here it works with the level.

What I Like: i can’t decide. the whole episode is a fucking mood. some of you often question why this is my favourite game in the series and to that i say ‘it’s a mood’. the music, the pagodas, the snow, the colouring, the fact that you destroy that huge dragon while Carmelita is on it. favourite detail would have to be the fact that you can kill the training pole monkeys in Flaming Temple of Flame. lanterns !!!!!!! mf lanterns, man...

What I Don’t Like: how Sly didn’t explode when he attached himself to a huge fucking rocket and blasted himself wtf. um, i gave the racing a chance in Sunset Snake Eyes, but it won’t get away so easily here. it feels sloppy: the opposing racers are all the same unlike its predecessor, and the slippery ice patches are a pain in the ass. also, something that always irritated me is a small detail: in Rapid Fire Assault, there’s one part on the conveyor belt where you can use the hover blaster to blast down a hole in the wall across you, but it doesn’t serve any purpose. so why put it there? it doesn’t even give you any coins. like... ugh, what??

Quote: No, that's only half right. I am a thief, from a long line of master thieves. While you... you're just a frustrated firework artist turned homicidal pyromaniac.

[ragnarssons]

Hola I have a question if you don't mind :) What do you think of Dany saying "Bend the knee or die ?" Thanks!

Hey :) no problem for friendly questions, so I hope that’s the intentionI think it’s about Daenerys on s7, since she never said that before that moment on 7x05. I find it extremely hypocrital to call Dany a crazy bitch for doing what every character in a role of ruling has ever done: it’s what ruling means. We’re talking here, about someone who is leading a war to get her throne back, against people who are her enemies. What did Stannis do when Mance Rayder didn’t bend the knee to him? Oh yeah, he executed him. Why? Uh idk probably because when someone is your enemy and when you offer a possibility of peace, that person remains your enemy, there isn’t much you can do! Tarly had several occasions to retract himself- he even wanted his son to bend the knee for the sake of their family. He didn’t, and until the last moment, he kept spewing hate in Dany’s face. Not to mention that they weren’t some noble men Dany came to see in their homes to ask them for anything: she CAPTURED them on the field of battle. What do people think Robb was doing with the soldiers who were fighting with the Lannisters/against him?? There was no way Tarly would ever become an ally to Daenerys, and she knew that after offering him a chance he didn’t take. People have to stop acting like Randyll Tarly didn’t act KNOWING the consequences of his actions and his defiance. Daenerys isn’t bringing a whole new concept in Westeros, like all the sudden she’s the crazy one, killing people: EVERY ruler kills people who threaten their rule and their security. Joffrey killing Ned? Joffrey would have had been 100% justified in killing Ned, had Ned refused to admit that Joffrey is the legitimate King and Heir to Robert Baratheon. Again, Stannis and Mance. Jon and Janos Slynt. But hey, these are “honorable” examples, contrary to Daenerys’ actions, for some reason.

Also people seem to forget that there is ANOTHER person whom Dany asked to bend the knee to: Jon (well they don’t forget it when they need to shit on her like “she should have believed this unknown man from the staaaart”). Did she burn Jon the moment he set foot in Dragonstone and showed no intention of bending the knee? No she didn’t, because Jon didn’t spew disrespectful remarks over one another, he didn’t threaten her claim nor did he present himself as an ally of her enemy- Cersei. Jon wasn’t captured on a field of battle where he actively killed part of her army and just participated in killing one of her allies’ Houses - the Tyrells. All in all, in the context of the scene, I always understood Daenerys’ actions on that scene: and you know who would understand these actions as well? Sansa. She was the one on 7x01 not understanding Jon when he chose not to punish the Karstarks and Umbers for siding with Ramsay. Sansa knows that disloyalty and betrayal (and the Tarlys are guilty of both), SHOULD be punished. She wanted her family’s betrayers to be punished. Had Small Jon or Roose Bolton survived, do you think Jon and/or Sansa wouldn’t have done ANYTHING to have them executed for their betrayal, the Red Wedding and bringing Rickon to Ramsay??

In a situation where she tries to reclaim her throne and spread her “power” (Slaver’s Bay) as a Queen or an adversary of the Lannisters, Daenerys needs to claim her power and her legitimacy- she needs to do that by showing her strength: hence why she has to take such strong measures. She ALWAYS took these measures against her enemies: but when it’s not a jerk enslaver (Kraznys), suddenly it’s scandalous and not badass (I mean, people only shit on her because of Dickon’s death, even tho he CHOSE his destiny and... why? because the actor was hot? A-okAY). I do think Daenerys will need to adapt her “methods” when/if she rules, because she won’t be able to rule with such a fierce… mindset. But Daenerys has already proven to be able to be kinder: hence her rule in Mereen, her decisions there, or even her whole storyline with Jon- she didn’t kill him, and SHE offered to help him without Jon having bent the knee. Conquest and ruling are two different things: we can’t pretend that Conquest shouldn’t be ruthless because otherwise, it’s not conquest. We can’t pretend that ruling is totally different. Guess what? Who knows that best? Well her name is Daenerys Targaryen because she was actually shown, for seven seasons, doing BOTH: conquering AND ruling. We can’t pretend that Daenerys hasn’t also proven her capacities as a ruler: and on these occasions, she does listen to her advisors (Selmy, Missandei, Tyrion, Jorah, etc… there ARE scenes where they all at some point, participate in changing her mind about something). I genuinely believe that Daenerys could be good at ruling. Her “Small Council” has always been 100% better than any of the Westerosi ones, her relationship with her Hand has always been better than any of the other ones on the show- INCLUDING Ned and Robert. She did make selfless choices for the sake of her people (locking her dragons in the Great pyramid, re-opening the fighting pits, hoping that the killings by the Sons of the Harpy would stop), she does know how to be kind and mercifull when there’s room for it (her scenes with Hizdar). Her whole journey has been about learning to conquer and to rule, hence why it’s so predictable that she might, at 80% end up on the Iron Throne- because the show shows us that it’s her Destiny, so much that even her whole storyline drives her towards that point. Daenerys is competent, she didn’t make a bad choice, she isn’t a “dictator” for killing HER ENEMIES on a field of battle. And tbh I would have liked to see any other character in her situation on that scene (you know, all the “badass, so complexxxx” male characters who never get shit).

[incorrectchoniberonicaswangs]

hey baby won't you look my way (i can be your new addiction)

Chapter 3: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS

ao3

Chapter Summary: There's a substitute teacher, Cheryl and Toni have a plan, and Betty is a "good fucking person."

Monday, 7:17 AM

gays united

hbicheryl: good morning gays

wannabett: CHERYL

hbicheryl: good morning gays, cousin betty

hbicheryl: happy?

wannabett: yes

hisshissmotherfucker: why the fuck are you texting us at this ungodly hour

hisshissmotherfucker: go back to sleep

nopeaz: school starts in less than an hour dipshit

hisshissmotherfucker: whatever

veroffica: cheryl, you're in a way better mood than normal. what happened?

hbicheryl: im offended! cant i just be in a good mood because i feel like it?

wannabett: no

hbicheryl: fine

hbicheryl: the history teacher is sick so we have a substitute

hisshissmotherfucker: FUCK YES

wannabett: im confused why is this a good thing??

spillthefogarTEA: oh betty

spillthefogarTEA: poor, sweet betty

nopeaz: substitutes are naive and cant control the class

nopeaz: so we can do whatever we want

wannabett: im not sure thats the best idea

spillthefogarTEA: choni and i have history first period with you, cooper

spillthefogarTEA: we'll show you what we mean

8:16 AM

hbicheryl + nopeaz

hbicheryl: this is even better than i thought

nopeaz: he looks so timid

hbicheryl: this is going to be so much fun

hbicheryl: lets begin phase one

8:19 AM

gays united

wannabett: is this cheryl and tonis master plan? to text out in the open?

jugheadalones: theyre cheryl and toni

wannabett: meaning??

jugheadalones: im sure theres more to it than that

goingtoheller: ^^tru

wannabett: i guess ill just have to wait and see

8:23 AM

gays united

wannabett: okay the sub is asking cheryl and toni to get off their phones

wannabett: theyre ignoring him ofc

wannabett: asdJFDJJSSSKKDXM

hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT HAPPENED

spillthefogarTEA: HE GRABBED TONIS PHONE RIGHT OUT OF HER HANDS SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING STARTLED

goingtoheller: LMAO

spillthefogarTEA: OH SHIT NOW HES READING CHONIS TEXTS FROM TONIS PHONE

wannabett: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS

veroffica: I'M WHEEZING

hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT DO THE TEXTS SAY

spillthefogarTEA: "maybe after this we can sneak in a quickie between classes"

spillthefogarTEA: "i could finger you up against the bathroom wall"

spillthefogarTEA: "or i could eat you out in the storage closet"

spillthefogarTEA: "of course... youd have to be quiet"

spillthefogarTEA: "do you think you can do that? can you be a good girl for me?"

wannabett: cheryl is as red as her hair

wannabett: toni looks like she wishes the earth would swallow her whole

goingtoheller: I'M DEAD.

veroffica: THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD

hbicheryl: GUYS STOP LAUGHING THIS ISNT FUNNY

goingtoheller: no, this is definitely funny.

hisshissmotherfucker: wait were the texts from toni or cheryl??

wannabett: he didnt say

goingtoheller: ooh, any theories? i'm still on team vers. cheryl, can you confirm anything?

hbicheryl: SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING

veroffica: i should hope so!

jugheadalones: ...i did NOT need to know this much about chonis sex life

wannabett: i guess the sub isnt as incompetent as you thought

spillthefogarTEA: lmao sucks to be you guys

spillthefogarTEA: oh shit i think hes looking at the notifications

spillthefogarTEA: "spill the... fogarty!" yep im done for youre all invited to my funeral except for choni bc they got us into this mess

wannabett: fangs' phones has been confiscated as well as cheryls in case you were wondering

wannabett: haha thats karma i guess

wannabett: fuck now he wants mine too why me??

veroffica: ...guys?

goingtoheller: that was the most exciting thing that i've witnessed secondhand in a WHILE.

hisshissmotherfucker: i hope nothing bad happened to fangs

hisshissmotherfucker: or toni or cheryl or betty

jugheadalones: i wonder whats going on there right now

veroffica: well, i don't have any classes with any of them for a while, so i won't be able to know what happened until they get their phones back.

hisshissmotherfucker: ^^

jugheadalones: ^^

goingtoheller: ^^

12:03 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: WE FINALLY GOT OUR PHONES BACK

hbicheryl: I CAN PRACTICALLY TASTE THE FREEDOM

nopeaz: now i just have to go live in a cave for a few years until everyone forgets about that debacle

spillthefogarTEA: thats not going to happen any time soon

goingtoheller: fangs is right, that was iconic.

veroffica: you two will never live that down.

jugheadalones: half of riverdale high is already speculating as to which one of you two sent the texts and which one of you received the texts

hisshissmotherfucker: cheryl, toni, care to make a statement?

hbicheryl: no

nopeaz: fuck off

goingtoheller: well, at least they seem to be on the same page.

wannabett: can we talk about whats REALLY important now??

jugheadalones: and what would that be?

wannabett: ALL FOUR OF US GOT DETENTION!!

veroffica: can the substitute even do that?

spillthefogarTEA: yeah, he wrote us all up for "repeatedly disobeying a clear set of instructions"

nopeaz: at least its only for today

wannabett: ive never gotten detention before! how the hell am i going to explain this to my mom??

hbicheryl: lmao cant relate

wannabett: im a good fucking person i dont deserve this

12:39 PM

gays united

hisshissmotherfucker: wait cheryl and toni what was your master plan?

hbicheryl: oh we were just going to sext for a while and then make out in the back of the classroom

veroffica: ...that was a letdown.

goingtoheller: yeah, i expected better.

nopeaz: we were horny when we came up with that plan okay

jugheadalones: now THAT makes more sense

spillthefogarTEA: tbh im still kinda disappointed tho

1:22 PM

gays united

wannabett: SHIT

veroffica: what's wrong, betts?

wannabett: i think the school told my mom about the detention :(

goingtoheller: what makes you think that?

wannabett: shes called me four times today already

wannabett: ive been ignoring her but knowing my mom she'll probably just show up here to talk to me

jugheadalones: she wouldnt do that

wannabett: you underestimate her

veroffica: b is right. her mom is just crazy enough to do that.

1:40 PM

gays united

wannabett: huh i wonder why the secretary is calling me to the office

wannabett: it couldnt be my mom, could it??

wannabett: who wants to bet against me?

goingtoheller: a, congrats on finally living up to your screen name!

goingtoheller: b, there is no way that i'm going to be stupid enough to take you up on that.

jugheadalones: i'll bite.

jugheadalones: 20 bucks it isnt her

wannabett: youre on jug

wannabett: be prepared to lose $20

1:55 PM

gays united

wannabett: angry-mama-cooper.jpeg

wannabett: fork over the money jones

jugheadalones: ...fuck

jugheadalones: this is what i get for believing that alice cooper wouldnt be that petty??

hbicheryl: no this is what you get for being a fool

wannabett: same thing

spillthefogarTEA: okay im sure that im going to regret asking this, but what did mrs cooper want that took fifteen minutes to talk about?

wannabett: the usual

wannabett: "youre disappointing your family, you need to do better, you dont want to end up like polly," etc.

veroffica: i'm sorry, b. :(

wannabett: it isnt your fault v

veroffica: i know, but your mom clearly isn't sorry for the crazy expectations she puts on you because polly didn’t turn out the way she wanted, so somebody has to be. and i want that somebody to be me.

wannabett: you really think so?

veroffica: i know so.

spillthefogarTEA: thats so sweet

hbicheryl: and REALLY gay

spillthefogarTEA: ofc

veroffica: *bi, and betty and i are just best friends.

wannabett: ^^^

spillthefogarTEA: sweets and i are best friends and if i had said something like that to him yall wouldnt think that we were just being friends

wannabett: thats bc you and sweet pea are super gay for each other

hisshissmotherfucker: false

spillthefogarTEA: ...you dont think that im hot? :(

hisshissmotherfucker: no i think that youre the hottest person in the whole damn universe

hisshissmotherfucker: but that doesnt mean that im in love with you

hbicheryl: babe do you see this shit??

nopeaz: i see it all right

hbicheryl: im so glad that we arent like that

nopeaz: me too :)

hbicheryl: i love you toni

nopeaz: i love you too cher

veroffica: awww, that was adorable.

veroffica: but also: what will it take to convince all of you that betty and i are telling the truth??

goingtoheller: nothing, ever. you are both so clearly whipped it isn't even funny.

jugheadalones: like cheryl and toni levels of whipped

hbicheryl: except you two arent even dating!!

nopeaz: the same goes for sweets and fangs too

hisshissmotherfucker: whatever

spillthefogarTEA: ^^^

wannabett: ^^^

veroffica: ^^^

jugheadalones: why do i even try anymore

2:29 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: well its time to go into the hellish pit the school calls detention

wannabett: i wonder if theyll make us do manual labor

spillthefogarTEA: sweet pea practically lived in detention at southside high, ask him

hisshissmotherfucker: thats true

hisshissmotherfucker: and yes sometimes they do make you do some janitorial work around the school

hbicheryl: oh my fucking god im going to die

jugheadalones: stop being so extra cheryl

goingtoheller: no never stop being extra cheryl it is the best part of this chat

hbicheryl: for your information hobo i will never ever stop being dramatic and if you say that again i will fight you

hbicheryl: and dont worry keller i wont change

nopeaz: thats my girl!!

hisshissmotherfucker: as i was saying

hisshissmotherfucker: youll probably just sit in a room and do your homework

hbicheryl: thats even worse

2:34 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: THEY WANT TO TAKE OUR PHONES

hbicheryl: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US ABOUT THIS SWEET PEA

hisshissmotherfucker: i thought it would be a nice surprise

nopeaz: screw you

hbicheryl: IF I NEVER GET OUT OF HERE TELL MY MOTHER THAT SHES AN AWFUL BITCH AND THAT I HATE HER

veroffica: sure thing, blossom.

3:00 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: MY PHONE IS BACK I LOVE IT SO MUCH THIS SCHOOL IS SHIT AND DETENTION FUCKING SUCKS

goingtoheller: that's a lot of moods.

jugheadalones: ^^

veroffica: "that's a lot of moods" is just cheryl's personality in a nutshell.

wannabett: tru

hisshissmotherfucker: tru

nopeaz: tru

hbicheryl: tru

Notes: Writing choni's sexts was the best part of this chapter, honestly. Also, I noticed that I refer to Cheryl and Toni as 'choni' an awful lot, which probably has direct correlation to my laziness. I know that this chapter has a lot less to do with the overlying plot, and that's because I'm trying something different. Tell me if you like it this way or if you want me to go back to more plot-heavy chapters.

[crystalkleure]

What do you think of Valt? He's become one of my new favorites after the Burst God season finale.

Valt

Well…sorry for this in advance, but I’m gonna stick to my word and be completely honest, Anon. I can’t stand Valt. Long post warning, it’s going under a cut.

I think he’s two-dimensional and terribly written, primarily. And if he were a side/background character, that might not bother me as much. But Valt as the MAIN CHARACTER drives me insane. That’s bad characterization right up in your face as the main focus of every episode. And it’s worse because so many of the side characters, and even background characters, are so, SO well-written? Even some of of the incredibly minor ones are fleshed-out and nicely detailed. They feel like people. Valt feels like a prop. He is unrealistic.

For one, how is it he only wins in battle when he absolutely NEEDS to? He generally gets his ass kicked often in practice, and occasionally in tournaments [when he’ll for sure have another chance to come back later and whoop whoever beat him in the first match]. It just makes it look like Valt really still sucks at beyblading, but he has plot armour. Other characters even ACKNOWLEDGE that “he doesn’t know how to control Valkyrie, he just fucked up his launch, he basically has NO IDEA WHAT HE’S DOING OH MY GOD” etc. And yet when he NEEDS to win to advance the plot, he does. So what, am I supposed to believe he just has INCREDIBLY implausibly good luck here or something? And another thing, whenever Valt creates a new technique…it’s an accident? Sometimes he doesn’t even REMEMBER DOING IT the first time he pulls off a new thing. People keep chalking it up to ‘instincts’ or whatever but, dudes, this is a highly mathematical game that requires incredible precision, and thus incredible practice, to succeed at. You can’t 'instinctively’ be good at beyblade. This game is too specialized. 'Instincts’ exist in the first place as a basic means to ensure survival. They don’t work like this. Instincts don’t teach you fucking math [unfortunately], that’s why everyone hates school.

One thing…I’ll throw ONE THING out there that could completely annul all of that massive bullshittery, though. And it’s not a nice thing: Possession. People in Beyblade series often get possessed by their beyblades [hasn’t been explicitly stated to have happened in Burst yet, though…or at least, not in the anime. Shuu was literally possessed by Spriggan in the manga, apparently]. And so if Valkyrie gets sick of losing all the time, she might jump into Valt just long enough to puppeteer him into doing what she needs him to do to secure a win when it matters the most. That would explain why Valt often doesn’t remember what just happened when he sometimes, by some miracle, ACTUALLY manages to do something right. Hell, early on in the first season, we got this shot here: [X]. It could be interpreted as Valkyrie literally just…doing that. Adjusting Valt’s launcher position for him.

So, possession would unfortunately explain a lot here. Because the beyblades themselves would of course know exactly how to win in a beybattle. And you know, I may adore Vampire Theory because of the sheer ridiculousness of it, but most of the people I jokingly say must be vampires could also just as easily be interpreted as being possessed. Glowing eyes, unnatural strength, scaring animals away, acting sort of feral in general? Could be a vampire, could be a kid possessed by the warrior spirit living inside of their plastic top. Might make more sense, considering these “vampires” don’t exactly spontaneously combust in the daylight…and that’s kind of a defining “vampire” characteristic, ahem.

And also, I’ll say that if I’m correct about the possession thing, all that does is make me like VALKYRIE more for sort of mothering her stupid hopeless blader child. It doesn’t really raise my opinion of Valt much. In fact, it kind of makes me agree with Lui back when he said “You’re a horrible blader. I feel sorry for that bey.”, because Valt’s too damn stupid to actually figure out how to play the game and Valkyrie is having to do all of the work for him. But I do like that if she’s possessing the idiot kid, she’s only doing it when she feels like it’s absolutely necessary, and not just all the time like a controlling bitch [I’m looking at you, Lightning L-Drago from MFB].

But aside from what may be terrible lazy writing in regards to Valt’s inconsistent beyblading “skills”, there’s another reason I don’t like him that might be worse.

Valt isn’t a very good friend. And yet he’s supposed to be like “the power of friendship” incarnate here. But Valt’s friends have all sorts of problems they often need help with, they melt down and self-destruct around him all the time, and…he usually doesn’t even notice**. And when he does, it’s because somebody else noticed first and made a fuss about it to everyone else. Valt does not actually help his friends with their serious issues. He’s only really good for providing stale, generic, constant-yet-impersonal cheer. “HERE, LET ME THROW SOME OF MY HAPPINESS AT YOU. BETTER NOW, RIGHT??” No. In fact, that can actually make it worse. If they are sad about something, let them be sad about it instead of basically guilt-tripping them, whether intentionally or not, for not being happy with you and thus making them feel bad for bringing down your good mood [I’m thinking specifically about Shuu grieving over his broken Storm Spriggan here. Let him mourn, Valt. He’s not going to get over that immediately.].

**Shuu with…well, everything. Dyna with the cheating guilt issue. Wakiya with his massive perfectionism pressure. Kensuke when he realized he was going to have to move again but hadn’t told anyone yet. Boss with his constant feelings of inferiority. Yet Valt was not a main player in helping any of them get through any of these issues. Dyna had to help Shuu with the shoulder thing and moral support in general. Shuu had to help Dyna with the cheating guilt. Hoji and Shuu had to help Wakiya with the perfectionism meltdown. Dyna was the first to notice something was off about Kensuke [I think. Might be remembering wrong. But I know it wasn’t Valt who picked up on it first.]. Kensuke tried to give Boss some advice on how to improve his beyblading technique [GOOD advice. “Don’t be a one-trick pony.” A shame that Boss DIDN’T LISTEN TO IT…]. Even when some of them just randomly start bickering with eachother, Valt is never the one to jump in to split it up [it’s USUALLY Dyna, but not always]. Valt is more like the hyper team pet than an actual good friend, it seems. He’s not good at being useful.

Though, ONE thing I can say Valt did that was a mark of good friendship was helping Wakiya off the bridge. I’ll give him that one. Granted, literally any of the others could have done exactly what Valt did in that situation, he was just the quickest to run onto the bridge with the rope, but still. That was good. He actually managed to do a good thing there.

Also, since you brought up the God finale, I’m gonna say again what I’ve said before; Valt screaming at Shuu for a little while just doesn’t seem like it should have undone all of Shuu’s built-up trauma just…like that. [Disclaimer though, I don’t know what Valt said, but just judging from Valt in all instances prior to this it probably wasn’t anything too thought-provoking] The finale really felt like a super rushed asspull to me. Shuu didn’t need screaming, and then generic happiness from someone who doesn’t even know what happened to him. Shuu honestly needs literal therapy after that. And time. Just like at the end of s1 with the broken bey issue, he can’t be expected to just get over this and be truly happy again at the drop of a hat.

And another thing, while I’m on the subject of s2 Shuu; Yeah, Valt did reach out to Boa to ask about what happened to Shuu down in the Snake Pit. He gets points for that. But this scene is one of the reasons I love Boa so much. Boa basically told Valt off for preaching about friendship all the time, and yet not actually being a particularly good friend. “Red Eye” really did NOT feel the same way about Valt at the time. So Boa’s reaction to Valt here seemed to basically be like “Even if I tell you, what good would it do anyone? What are YOU gonna DO about it now? You’ve already burned this bridge, your 'friend’ doesn’t even like you anymore. Give it up, you’re too late to help now even if you think you finally know how.”And that thought isn’t 100% accurate because Shuu didn’t actually HATE Valt even then, and I think Boa probably should have given Valt the details of the situation just to encourage him actually TRYING to help, but. He did have a point. Valt’s “power of friendship” really can’t make this right. And even after the finale, I don’t quite think it did. Shuu isn’t brainwashed anymore, but he’s still messed up. So yeah, Valt ASKED about the Pit, but what would he have really DONE with that information? Definitely nothing constructive. Unless maybe he relayed it on to Wakiya, Dyna, etc., because THEY could have actually had a shot at effectively talking to Shuu about it, maybe. Literally everyone else is better at actually helping with problems than Valt is, and even BOA could see it.

Scoring at 3/10, and I’m trying to be generous. I could cut him SOME slack and say his, well, frustrating immaturity is because he’s only 11, but that really loses impact when you take into consideration that all of the other main characters [Shuu, Boss, Dyna, Wakiya, Kensuke] are all 11 too, and they all do better than Valt.

And Valt’s not the main character anymore. I might start to like him better as s3 goes on, as the non-main characters do tend to be just…written better in general in BeyBurst. And I think that’s probably a marketing tactic, actually: Keep your main character mascot kid as generic as possible, in order to [in theory] appeal to as many different people as possible. Actually giving your mc a real PERSONALITY [that isn’t just bland, 2-d enthusiasm and cheerful happiness] might hurt your plastic toy sales because some people would stop watching the show because they disagree with your mc in too many ways [like, if the personality you give your mc clashes with theirs, which would be inevitable with ANY sort of personality type, really. EVERY personality type has another type that just really, really hates it.]. So maybe Valt will finally start to feel like a person now that he’s not allergic to having, you know, a personality. In s1 and s2 he was really only good at screaming and crying. That’s not a personality.

[mdwatchestv]

Game of Thrones 7x07:  Look What You Made Me Do

And just like that it's over! This truncated season of seven episodes blew by as fast as a trip from Dragonstone to Eastwatch. I'm still not really sure why this season had to BE only seven episodes, I know the show is intensely expensive, but HBO has the money and why not shell out for three more episodes of their most popular property? Now faced with the prospect of a final season not hitting our little screens until 2019, I feel like a six episode finale is just not gonna cut it. I mean are we even going to make it two more years as a society? I would be super bummed if I had to leave this physical plane without having heard the final chords of the song of ice and fire. Although if the producers want to take the time to think very hard about writing and storytelling, I would not be adverse to that. Let's be real, while this season was full of spectacle, and had plenty to enjoy, the writing was just not up to the par of previous years. Drama that felt natural and earned was shelved in order to rush forward big "show stopping" moments such as Dany and Jon's meeting, ice dragon making, and this past episode's all hands on deck summit in the dragon pit.

Fan theories spiraled wildly out of control in correspondence with the increasingly erratic storytelling on screen. Instead of trying to predict the solution to a complex puzzle-plot, we are now in a time when literally anything can happen, including (but not limited to) Lannister lieutenant Ed Sheeran. Still, were we not entertained? There were absolutely moments this season that will go into the annals of GOT greatness: Arya's Walder Frey Face Swap Massacre, Olenna Tyrell's Final Fuck Off, Loot Train Battle  Dragon Destructo-Fest 2k17 to name a few. But the season's writing on a whole often veered into what felt like fan service (or straight up fanfiction). Game of Thrones isn't the first show to do this, but it is the first show to do it that up until this point has been famous for granting essentially the opposite of fan service. Oh you love this strong, glorious, perhaps ridiculously attractive, character? It would be a shame if something were to....happen...to them. But that being said this episode felt a bit more solid than it's immediate predecessor, and while they may not have completely stuck the landing, it was more of a point deduction for some hops rather than a horrifying leg break (did anyone else see that last Olympics? There is not a day that goes by I don't think about it.)

So our merry band of zombie hunters, as well as Brienne and Pod, have all assembled at King's Landing in order to persuade Cersei into a ceasefire. How much time has passed since the zombie capture? Days, weeks? Who knows. What's important is all of our favorites have assembled in a veritable class reunion. Pod is happy to see his old boss Tyrion still in one piece, Bronn is reunited with Pod, and Brienne and The Hound are downright chummy despite Brienne being under the impression she had murdered him during their previous encounter. Time really does heal all. But how much time? That's the true question. For once Jon is not the most popular princess at the party, he didn't fight in the Battle of the Blackwater, and he didn't co-parent a murderous pre-teen. Our group is escorted to the not-at-all-a-trap Dragon Pits where they await Cersei. Bronn and Pod peace out immediately because Bronn don't give a shit and also can't contractually be in the same room as Lena Headey. Ain't love grand.

Cersei is rolling deep (her crew includes Euron thank god), but her entrance is promptly upstaged by Dany flying in on Drogon. Before anything can happen, Euron interrupts the proceedings to call out Theon for, essentially, being a little bitch. It is glorious. Anyway the zombie is produced and runs right at Cersei, where exactly none of the people sworn to protect her do a single goddamn thing. Euron weighs the threat of millions of the undead versus the safety of his little island and peaces HARD. I absolutely loved this reaction and wish it had been genuine. Is Euron my favorite character? Unclear, but strong maybe.  Cersei says she will stand down if Jon promises to stay neutral. Jon I Can-Not-Tell-A-Lie Snow/Targaryen of course blabs that he already bent the knee to Dany. No one is impressed by this. Not only is Jon the least popular, he is now also the least liked.

Brienne cements my theory she only made the trip to tje Landing o'Kings to act as Jaime's moral compass, and pleads with him that loyalty to houses is dumb in the face of the current threat. She's not wrong. Later on Cersei will call Jaime the stupidest Lannister, but surely it is Tyrion who proceeds to fall hook, line, and sinker for her hand-on-stomach motivated-by-concern-for-my-baby-change-of-heart routine. Did anyone truly think that Cersei would just...join up with the good guys? That is a "what if" fanfiction summary too ridiculous for even this season of the show to pursue. Cersei is the woman who blew up half her own damn city, she does not have time for Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen. Why risk her throne when the zombies will kill these silly children for her? Why risk anything when the Iron Bank subplot has resulted in a whole mercenary army in Essos? Actually speaking of Essos...why doesn't everybody just move over there? Why not just let the Night King HAVE Westeros if he wants it so bad. Like they said, the zombies can't swim and Essos doesn't seem to be physically connected to Westeros in any way. Look I'm just saying.

Back at Dragonstone, it's revealed that Theon actually was impressed by Jon's foolhardy declaration of loyalty. Theon's subplot this season has been understated, but honestly one of my favorites. While he hasn't had the flashiest part in recent seasons Alfie Allen has turned in a consistently subtle and poignant performance in this role. Over the course of the show Theon's journey has been about belonging and finding his worth. This was at times less than subtly symbolized by first his castration (literal/figurative/symbolic/etc) at the hands of Ramsay, and then even less subtly by his reclamation of said "manhood' this episode. But that aside his new side quest to rescue Yara is pleasingly cyclical as he stakes his loyalty to the one person who ever willingly and proudly claimed him as family. Also now that presumably Yara is tied to Euron, who is pivotal to claiming Cersei's mercenary army.... I'm just saying maybe Theon will be able to play the part of hero in the end after all.

Speaking of families coming back together, all is well in Westeros as the Stark Sestras team up to take down Lord Baelish once and for all. Look I am always happy when storylines end in positive female friendship, but I still can't help feeling frustrated with the way this was played out. It is unclear how much time is passing for any of the characters in the show, but at what point did Arya and Sansa realize they were being played? Were any of their public confrontations for show? Surely there would be no point to their private arguments, so at least some of their discord had to have been real. How much, if it at all, were they able to set up Littlefinger in return? Or did they just arrive at their conclusion moments before the mock trial? I admit as an audience member I was fooled, not by clever storytelling, but by total misdirection that robbed us of the satisfaction of seeing these two bright young women begin to think for themselves. Like so many scenes written this season this was another example of a satisfying punchline delivered at the cost of a seemingly reverse-engineered build up.

And as much as I have enjoyed Aidan Gillen's scheming, it was rewarding to see him dispatched at the hands of the women who he spent most of the series attempting to manipulate. Despite his claims otherwise, the only person Littlefinger has ever truly cared about is Littlefinger. Even though the path there was rocky, I look forward to Sansa and Arya's newfound alliance. Arya recognizing what Sansa has been through, and Sansa in turn telling Arya she was the strongest person she knew was a beautiful scene. Both girls have been wearing their hair in styles reminiscent of their parents, and seeing them take on the leadership roles of the previous Lord and Lady of Winterfell was a nice touch.

But not all the show's siblings are getting on, and after threatening Tyrion with death, Cersei is on a roll. Jaime is, for some reason, surprised that instead of keeping her word Cersei has no actual intention of zombie fighting. Jaime has had quite the arc this season, one that has driven him away (perhaps forever) from his twin, lover, and baby mama. As I wrote about previously, Jaime is the archetypal white knight. He is one of the few characters not motivated by greed or self-promotion, but rather a warped familial love.. While he has acted cruelly and cowardly in the past, he is not characteristically cruel or a coward. This season he has witnessed true horror in the form of fiery dragon death, the vengeful Olenna Tyrell, and the true depth of Cersei's darkness. He seems to finally realize that what he perceived as righteous action motivated by true love may have been in service to the wrong side. A Jaime Lannister unmoored from his familial duty is as compelling a wildcard as any, and it will be interesting to watch his journey continue to unfold hopefully in a Northerly direction.

Well, we've come to it. There's nothing left to talk about. Sam and Gilly arrive back at Winterfell just in time for Sam to have an exposition-off with the Three Eyed Arse-Face. Sam proceeds to take credit for Gilly's breaking news, and together with Bran's "vision power" the two explicitly spell out the true nature of Jon's identity. None of their revelations are a surprise to viewers of the show, beyond chiseling 'Aegon Taragaryen" into canon. No, the bigger surprise was that this narration was the voice over to Jon and Dany getting it on on her pleasure yacht. While we heard definitive proof that Dany is in fact Jon's Aunt, we watched their supple bootied bodies writhe around together. What emotion was I supposed to be feeling during this scene? I am honestly asking. Because the emotion I was feeling was void. The absence of feeling. "Jon needs to know." Yeah ya think Bran? With all that you can see you couldn't see that you should have told him this vital, life-altering information just a little bit earlier? Send a goddamn raven since they travel at the speed of light. Jesus Seven Hells Christ.

Also there were many happy romantic flashbacks of Rhaegar marrying Lyanna, but it's super fucked up that Rhaegar ditched his first wife and children to have a SECOND child name Aegon. Like what the fuck is that Rhaegar?? Granted the first Aegon (along with his sister and mother) were horribly murdered by the Mountain, so I guess it was good he decided to make a spare. Oh sorry Jimmy, I decided to have another son with my new wife, who I like more than Mommy, and his name is also going to be Jimmy. If family therapy existed in Westeros, we would probably be in a very different place politically.

Finally, finally we end for with the Night King's arrival at the wall. The new zombie ice dragon is locked and loaded and it BREATHES BLUE FIRE. The blue fire was pretty cool, and I eagerly await it's use in the dragon on dragon throw down that will inevitably occur next season.  With the power of blue fire the Wall crumbles into the sea, devastating and conclusive proof that wall's are never the answer (no matter how cool and icy they look). I have to wonder though, what was the plan for traversing the Wall without a dragon? The Night King couldn't have known one of the only three dragons in the world would fall into his clutches...what was the contingency plan? Doesn't matter, the Wall is down and I'm going to need a wellness check on Ginger Beard.

Well that's it friends, season seven! If our own nuclear winter hasn't come I'll see you back here in.....two years..... Miss ya!

Things I didn't get to:

Clegane-bowl pre-game?

Probably could have thought of some more derogatory things to say about Bran.

Cersei's fake out Stark-alliance fur-lined dress. 

What happened to Gendry?

MVP: You. You made it.

XO MD

P.S. if you want to talk to me on Twitter about incest and shitty Westerosi parenting I'm @marthadee.