#Alright I fucking lied
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A Mandated Holiday Break - Chapter 5
Characters: Sylus x gn!mc (poly lads)
Warnings: Loose spoilers for 'Mischief' anecdote and Sylus Myth.
Word Count: 1275
Written: 21st December 2024
Notes: Post-relationship Sylus/MC-centric but poly LADs, with my personal pov of the game and lil headcanons littered in.
Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
Masterlist AO3
You've passed out, midway through some movie about a man in green visiting some city in search of his father. Sometime during your movie marathon with Sylus, he'd noticed you'd stopped caring what you'd put on. He'd gotten too invested in Die Hard (a Christmas movie, you swore), and had been more than horrified that the inaccuracies didn't bother you.
At that point you'd stopped showing him movies you really loved, instead giggling with glee at making him watch some of the worst or silliest things you could find. To see his nose scrunch, and what you'd (incorrectly) called his snobby rich boy taste.
Of all the movies you could watch, he refused to understand why toilet humour had entertained you so.
It hadn't, he thinks, his inability to not roll his eyes, had been your goal.
Still, the laughter had been worth it. He would do anything to hear it forever, so perhaps he'd let you play terrible movies for the end of time.
As you murmured in your sleep, at which he'd lowered his head to try to make words out. (Something about a farmers market, and a duck?) He'd left your side, reluctant but knowing you needed to eat. Something other than cookies. You'd at least drank the water he made sure was at your side, if he left you alone he thinks you'd subsist off caffeine.
When he untangles himself from you, carefully, so carefully because while he'd love to bring you with him, the bags under your eyes demand more sleep than you've been getting. He checks you over once more, tugging the soft pink blanket over you. (It doesn't match the decor but you'd said pink suited him. He'd given you a look of disbelief... but he hadn't stopped using it since. Despite running a higher temperature than anyone you knew.)
He met the twins in the kitchen, stuffing sugar cookies into their mouths, as soon as they heard the door open. Two pairs of guilty, wide eyes shot to stare.
He's seen raccoons before, digging through food in the bins. He won't compare them, out loud, but the look is similar. "You better hope the doctor doesn't count those." Luke gulps, Kieran fidgets.
There was little the doctor was protective over, or possessive over. Sugar, and the kitten curled up on his sofa, were the two that mattered. He'd also been informed of their presence, waiting for him.
Sylus knows no matter what, even the N109 zone wouldn't keep the good doctor away from either of those things, especially in the same room.
With a smug, little self satisfied purr, he stuffs one of the fresh baked cookies into his mouth.
Food was always better shared, than alone, as he'd learned over the years.
"Is it dinner time?" Luke asks, swinging his legs as he jumps back up on the counter. Watching Sylus grab things from around the room, pulling his phone out to find a recipe he'd been sent by the prince.
'I want to make this.'
'I'm not letting you make it in my kitchen.'
'They'll like it.'
'They won't like the base being set on fire.'
In the end he'd promised to make it instead. If only to save everyone from the prince's electronic based curse.
He nods at the question, and as he watches the two out the corner of his eye, he realises he has no idea when they started living here.
He's aware of the time they've been working for him, he remembers the day he met them vividly. He's deeply familiar with how he felt watching them struggle against Ever's bonds.
The crystals gouged out of skin, the pain, the yearning. It had twisted parts of his chest, and torn at old memories he wished he could forget.
It was never easy to separate from the past, it stayed a part of you even if you desperately wished it wouldn't.
Still, he has no recollection for when they went from visiting for work, to staying, always present unless they wanted to explore together. Talking to him with candour... no, formality was never the twin's forte.
Something had changed, however, and he wasn't sure when.
He follows steps as he muses, though doesn't share his thinking out loud, after all, they seem content to just watch. Sticking leftover crumbs in their mouths, and chattering to each other.
Sylus doesn't really know when making meals for others became like this, he started because it made you happy, he continued because he liked doing it. A simple task, but it garnered praise, and joy. Food was not something he'd needed before, now, however, it was a gift to be shared.
It was simply just as easy to prepare for four (five, as he makes enough to save a plate for the prince), as it was for two.
Kieran hums the song that you were playing earlier, still out of tune, and he has to bite back his laugh, but finds himself joining in. He doesn't remember the words yet he's never discontent for his mind to remember you in every song he ever hears.
"Hey Hunter!"
"Morning!"
You enter the room, rubbing at your eyes, and he finds himself smiling at you easily. It's more a quirk of the lips, and garnet eyes melting, but you smile back as though he's beaming.
Perhaps in his way, he is. He's still unpracticed with joy. With emotions.
Showing them is hard, so he speaks them and he places them into your hands (for your heart to keep) in actions.
He refuses to let you think he is not earnest. Never to lie, never to flatter. You will never doubt his affections, he promises.
As you yawn and pull yourself up onto the kitchen counter, and he wonders why he bothered to buy stools for the bar. None of you seem to use them, content to hover too close. Comment and talk and titter away.
When he'd asked, you'd shrugged. "I like to be tall." You'd teased, kissing his forehead at the height the counter allowed you.
His cheeks had flamed and he'd blinked. Surprised and confused. Until the feeling settled into a burning need. So hungry and desperate and clawing, he'd pulled you in by the back of your neck and bitten, kissed and licked his way up your throat.
Your laughter and sighs had stuck in his head for weeks after.
He found himself wishing you'd do it again, every single time you sat on the counter to watch him cook.
Instead of the twins singing, though you seem to find it entertaining to watch them relax, you reconnect your phone to the sound system he installed in the kitchen.
For you, ever since he visited your own place to see your speakers hooked up on the wall, humming away as you baked bread. Told him music made any task better, even the ones you hated.
Sylus has been so used to solitude his entire life. Before the abyss, after the abyss. He's spent longer alone, than he has with others. Even when he built Onychinus, ground up, clawing and scratching to his makeshift throne, nothing had touched that solitude.
His time in the clouds had been short in comparison. A blip.
A torn out moment as close to bliss as he could ever have thought to get.
This. Here. A low chuckle in his throat, songs in the air, and warmth in his joined heart... he could not bear to trade or lose.
Even when one of the twins, pointing at each other when whirled on, throws a slice of carrot at his head.
#wonder writes#love and deepspace#sylus#lads sylus#lads x reader#lads x mc#sylus x reader#reader x sylus#lads#love and deepspace sylus#a mandated Christmas break#Alright I fucking lied#my brain concocted the starting lines while I was in the shower... so i noted them down. Then got carried away...#I'm really done for now. I promise#I don't cross my heart cause I don't trust myself...#but I'm gonna try to shut the f up now.
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Its just a cup of tea Venigni....
The chaos agent commits chaos part 2
#lies of p#lop#pinnochio#lorenzini venigni#lies of p eugenie#i swear to fucking god pino stop being a fuckin kleptomaniac#alright i go uni stuff is to be done#uni is exhausting please help meee#statistics is agony#why do i have to have statistics on my major im studying anatomyyyy#OK I GO NOW BYEEEE#stay hydrated frogs! (positive)
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Hey is it me or River Cartwright is a kind of shitty spy?
#river cartwright#like he's better than Johnny English alright but he's kinda bad#especially when it comes to hold a cover. I'm on season 2 and I have seen both Sid and Lamb pretending to be someone else and they do it wa#better than River. Hell Hassan the Pakistani guy from S1 lies more believably than River.#Don't get me wrong I love River hebis such a loser (affectionate) but is it only me or does he suck a little hit at his job?#it's not like the rest of 'MI-Fucking-Useless' is that spectacular either (except maybe for Lamb and Catherine) but what I am saying is#is there a general consensus in rhe fandom that River is at average level of skill among the members of Slough House?#I don't mean to offend Slough House but do you know what I mean when I say he probably belongs there right?#maybe it's just me and I didn't mean to insult your fave sorry again I do like River and I also do like him because he's a bit of a failure#I'm only on season 2 though#slow horses
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Remember when Daigo snuck away from Mine to take a taxi to meet the people who were black mailing him with Kiryu. So Mine bought shares in every taxi company in order to track down which one Daigo took and where and used that to rescue him.
(While Daigo’s own bodyguards waved it off as their chairman sneaking off to have sex. And Mine even knew that Daigo paid off a girl to try and throw them off.)
#mine would buy everything and also burn all his money if it meant helping Daigo cause that’s all it’s good for#And he’d go to any lengths for him#The rggo stories fuel me#minedai#mine yoshitaka#yoshitaka mine#dojima daigo#daigo dojima#yakuza#ryu ga gotoku#also daigo knowing that it’d turn out alright since mine is here with him and has his back#because the dummy went off alone and then was surprised that they lied and were gonna hold him hostage#smh#them: we don’t want the money we want you#Daigo: :o well fuck#yokoyama saying they’re canon also fuels me#the rggo stories I mean but minedai is too even if it’s one sided (though I doubt that)
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was randomly motivated to animate tonight
#BUT HEYYY atleast im animating#i started the first one like a month or so ago and finally picked it up again#bec i tried doing a new one and i had no idea what i wasd oing LOL#i had a better caption in my mind but i forgor#i was gonna clean up the first one a bit more but it looks alright#jerms art#gif#animation#loop#art#what . do i tagthis as#beginner animator#i definitley still need to learn more thou#also i lied . i was motivated because i watched a video about one pieces new opening#and i was like FUCK i wanna be like that#i dont care even if im not feeling the right art vibes tonight#its better to start later than never#im sorry primary school me i failed you#hopefully this motivation and hope lasts more than . a day
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Something about the Oaks and the Divine rights of Kings.
#rain does art#my art#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads s2#dndaddies#alright now im gonna go on a tear here#hildy russet#barry oak#bear'ry oak#Henry oak#sparrow oak#lark oak#sparrow oak garcia#lark oak garcia#Hero oak#hero oak swallows garcia#normal oak#normal oak swallows garcia#normal oak swallows li wilson marlowe garica swift the unworthy#The last one was a bit#but anyways#this is my season 2 ending hype peice that got fucked via dood leaving so early#oh well#this season wasn't going to narrtivly land the way i wanted to and I've accepted that#it was hella fun though#I liked it#oh also#the doodler#dood
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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do you think dan and phil have watched iwtv. can someone ask
#re: jordans post about dan and phil inadvertently posting jam reiderson on main#og post#dan and phil#alright so the degrees of separation are as follows:#dan and phil -> jacksepticeye -> game grumps -> jacob anderson. its all connected#<- what the fuck is he talking about.#sorry for rpfing on main. i lied im not
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I’ve had some angsty Pavellan fic ideas knocking around my head this week re: Here Lies The Abyss and I finally started the quest to see if I could get the writing gears turning, but now instead I’m fucking crying over the stuffed nug you find in the Fade.
#I kinda breezed through it the first run so I’m taking my time with this one#and that just did me in#along with the other letter where the child writes down their fears#and most of them are about their father dying fighting the blight#‘black mark on his arm he hides from mother’ fucking helllll#the very first own you find though about the solider being sent to Adamant#that one hits you like a Mack truck#anyway I had a totally different vision for the Pavellan fic that may or may not ever manifest#and now it’s something else entirely#I’m so nervous about even trying to write da fic but :)))) I must face my fears#kinda fun though cause ive always kinda struggled with OCs and this is really helping me get into it more#ANYWAY. I love here lies the abyss#(it’s infinitely better with my invisible spiders mod though cause I’m a wuss baby)#glad I brought solas this time he’s very insightful#also brought blackwall as my tank and was pissing myself when I asked him to appeal to the wardens tho#man’s just straight bullshitting the whole time#‘you don’t know me’ DAMN RIGHT LMAOOO#god I need to stop rambling in my tags. I think it’s alright though I’m p sure no one looks at this blog#where else am I supposed to talk to myself anyway#brooke.txt#brooke talks dragon age
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I cannot believe they're bringing the 1776 commission back. in the year of our lord Ken Burns' documentary? after they got lambasted in their last term by almost every colonial historian in the nation? they're like hold up let me try and lie to these kids again real quick before they learn the truth in november. I need trump to die and go to hell for what he's done to solidify the american revolution as a symbol for nationalism and white supremacy alone.
#shut up az#if I could go back in time to when I was 6 and stop the Revolution from becoming my special interest I would#why couldn't i have picked something cool like g1 my little pony#anyway if you're unaware the 1776 commission is an initiative to reinstate patriotism in the children of America through lies and myths#think George Washington and that fucking cherry tree on a bigger even more nefarious scale#which is insane bc I feel like you don't have to lie about the founding fathers flaws to make kids like them?#I'm out here fighting for my life and John Adams' honor on a daily basis but like. alright.#it also like. brings identity politics and feminism into the fold which doesn't even... ykw. let me not right now.#just know when those speeches begin to hit this year I'm going to be fucking livid#can they at least like. read a book before they write it this time I'm so fucking tired
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anyway as soon as i pry myself off this couch im gonna share some screenshots of bg3 protags on my sideblog. just gotta like. reach the desk first.
#all i can think about is the shelves im gonna get installed here over the next little bit fdghj#yall dont understand its so hard to keep things clean and brain friendly when you just dont have anywhere to put stuff.#hellish#& then i get overwhelmed and turn into a massive bitch when i try to get it under control fdgh#instead its been like. 2 straight days of dopamine i fucking swear?? my body probably definitely wouldnt let me do this for a living#(my hip is screamingggg dfghgjj) but actually if i could & if i could work in a team then yeah. ykw i enjoy it.#organization go brrrrrrr#i dont think she was expecting me to work that fast either but ive been like a feral animal. skittering over clutter.#finding Spots for Things#okay i lied the flood was actually beneficial in one way to me specifically.#estranged father just forgot a Bunch of tool sets here & ive claimed them now fdghjk#that nail gun is MINE#she suggested i look out for an actual tool chest/bench thing (ykw the ones with wheels and stuff) for everything and i havent been that#excited for anything in months fdgh tools are expensive alright. too bad he took the table saw.#i dont talk much abt my Masc Hobbies as i call them lmao no real reason to but hoooboy i love to Build Things#give me that ikea desk ill have it done in an hour or less every time#maybe trade school is still on the horizon for me gfhj always wanted to Weld Stuff i think id be good at it#as much as i fuckin loathe yard maintenance i was a real garage sooooo bad its not even funny#shame i wasnt just inherently expected to know car stuff tm i feel like i would have loved it too#scarrier to learn on your own later in life especially with a lease vehicle but ill get there eventually#anyway yeah bg3! new mods. new ocs#have not done much with them yet but they Exist and theyre pretty
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FUCK THE THEME SONG HIT ME SO HARD AT THE END
#Used to tell myself it’ll be alright#Pretty lies so I could sleep at night#Aughhhhhghhghhhh#Hermie my BABY#NOO#PLESSE#AGSGAHAH#IIIIIIIIIII#dndads#FUCK#IM GENUINELY CRYING#I HAVE GENUINE ACTUAL TEARS COMING OUT OF MY EYES
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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself
#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy#a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE#i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing#and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think#that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it#because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick#i feel underconfident in writing any of them#and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first#started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min#but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast#in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore#and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new#themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter#if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life#and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep#all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters#most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head#and take care of my problems for me by lending me £1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously#so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use#it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD#to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely#adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12#they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot#if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright#i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't#and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri#and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have £300#i don't have the £300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot
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moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love
#i mean if the alternative is whatever the fuck is going on with my best friend rn then hooooo boy#cancelling therapy immediately i never want to change i wanna keep my trust issues forever and ever if its gonna save me from THIS#is he a dick? kinda. yeah. and a coward because if dude was sure he didnt want it since AUGUST and didnt have the guts to end it till now#actually he didnt end it. she was the one who finally snapped. but we seriously fought twice before because she just woudlnt listen#when i said that girl this isnt gonna work and you trust him too much and you're attachment styles are incompatible as hell#your*#but nvm. the least you could do when a 7 years younger girl who's clearly obsessed with you is breaking up with you#cause she just cant take it anymore. and you can see she's still in love with you because you've been lying to her for half a year.#imo the least you could do at that point is just. dont tell her that jfc. just say you're sorry it didnt work out etc etc#dont fucking tell her you stopped being in love with her in fucking august#and just 'didnt know how to end it' and lied when she asked if everything's alright#like my god. yes ig this would never have happened if she hadn't trusted him so completely and expected love to fix her whole life#but jesus dude. she's not even 23 she has a right to be naive. you're almost 30. you DONT get to be a man child anymore#christ. okay.#anyway i wish i could help her but telling her to 'trust less' and 'never truly rely on other people' sounds horrible and cringe and edgy af#but i genuinely dont have any other advice#like babygirl im sorry but your bestie is a piece of human garbage and she's doing the best she can but her best is Not Much alas
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oh i’m so fucked on this paper
#guy who forget data collection meant ze had to collect original data <- technically i talked w her and negotiated smthn archaeology based#BUT I SPENT THIS WHOLE WEEKEND PROCRASTINATING. AND ONLY NOW REMMEBERED I HAD ACTUALLY LIED ABLUT ALREADY HAVING ARTIFACTS PICKED OUT#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#it’s alright i can tank a bad grade at this point. 100% on the rest of the class and a 3.99 overall. but i need to get this dooooooneeeeeeee#ugh my premise was flawed from the start and the prof shouldn’t have let me get this far but she was equally confused as to why i was taking#this class so. fuck
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rare cute khaless moment,,
#oc: khaless#what is also cute is that she failed the history check despite having the highest skill bonus in the party <3#but its in line with her background actually. as the only non-baldurian she wouldnt know much abt the city's history i guess#anyway love how in my head khaless is so serious and has this.. air of cool detachedness about her...#and then she says silly stuff like this in-game without any input from me#she is so cute actually. and its part of her characterization now that she gets very silly and excited abt dragons#and dreams of being besties with one. specifically a silver dragon like her ancestor#its not just a silly obsession tho its deeper than that. i think#something something embracing her powers and ancestry gave her the courage to break free of lolth for good or whatev#unfortunately she also thinks her draconic blood makes her invulnerable and this makes her stupidly reckless sometimes!#also yknow how before you enter the wyrmway the emperor says that there is no dragon there is no savior#i was like alright i bet the dragon is like a bullshit metaphor or something. maybe the dragon is inside all of us#but no!! the dragon was indeed real!! he was just dead and bitter!!! bc of the emperor!!#i just gotta say. i've had it with him i've had it with his lies by omission i've had it with the manipulation i want him to fuck ooofff
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