#All my homies hate the orphanage

[present-mom-blog]

Currently thinking about Atsushi and his probable inability to eat everything he should be eating.

He has a damn transformation ability. He NEEDS calories to change forms. Why do you think he was able to eat all that ochazuke in the beginning? My headcanon is because he was replenishing his deficient calories.

Atsushi should be eating a lot of food. He should be eating so much. But because of that orphanage, do you think he's going to allow himself that luxury?

(Am I currently writing a oneshot about this and ADA realizing it, why yes I am)

[cosmicpoutine]

leaving a lil rant here :]

I love Tim and his ships sm. Me personally, I only really ship TimKon. Those two are perfect for eachother and have so much clear queer coding that it’s crazy, and they have dialogue that’s just. gay shaped.

I also get TimBart, I don’t ship it romantically but I get why people do!! Tim and Bart are close as well, and the balance they get between ‘depressed tired wet cat’ and ‘living breathing embodiment of adhd’ is great.

I also get TimBartKon, they’re a trio. They are always a trio, so many people like to bring up how TimKon has so much coding and one of the big examples they use is when Tim tried to clone Kon. You know who else he tried to clone? Bart.

The only Tim ship I don’t get is TimBern, or any ship involving those two. When Bernard first appears, he’s Tim’s bully. He actively makes fun of tim and puts him down and then that character is forgotten about until Tim comes out as bi, then they just rework his character and go “haha guys this is his boyfriend not bully ygs are crazy” and just forget about all the bad stuff Bernard did? Reworking a character is great and all but, it just feels a bit weird and out of place for me. There’s always going to be that certain toxicity for TimBern, at least for me.

homie... bully??? im flabbergasted- im speechless- im jason todd (dead)

okay, im gonna start off by saying you have all the right to not ship them, and im not here to defend timbern as a ship. im here to defend BERNARD DOWD.

first thing bernard does is give tim advice about teachers, and he clearly says they're gonna be good friends.

if bernard was a bully, tim wouldn't hang around him so much. besides, i hate it when people place tim as a helpless little boy who would get bullied. he has put himself in situations where he looks weak on purpose to keep his identity safe, but he's not a victim at all. tim is a social butterfly because he's really good at masking and reading people.

not to mention, both bernard and darla push tim a lot because they're trying to get him to open up and be closer to them, but he keeps pushing them away. tim is a professional liar.

and when tim has to quit robin and start hanging out with normal people, he invites bernard over.

and bernard is acting relatively normal, and he wants to play video games and talk about how hot tim's stepmom is.

bernard is a normal teenager who has no idea one of his friends is the hero he's so obsessed with. he even shows concern for robin dying and makes up an entire conspiracy theory about batman havin a robin orphanage. you can tell he's afraid of robin being gone for real because at this point they haven't seen robin in months bc tim retired.

i dont know what about all of these interactions gave you the vibe that he's a bully because all i see is a normal teenager teasing his friends and being jealous tim gets more bitches.

im not saying that bernard was never mean or weird around tim, but he definitely wasn't actively bullying tim.

bernard is obnoxious and cocky, yes. but thats just because they wrote him as a real person. he's the school's chameleon, maybe even a little bit of a loser, too. he knows everyone but keeps a safe distance so that he doesn't get pushed into a box. im not sure if, at this point, he was already in a cult or being indoctrinated, but when we see his parents and the dowd home in tim drake: robin that just doesn't look right.

also homie talk about "forgetting all the bad things bernard did" (which in my opinion is none but okay lets follow that logic) everyone forget about all the bad things batman did to tim, he was not a kind and loving mentor, he was cruel to both tim and steph. we forget that batman was kind of an asshole to damien in the beginning. all those things are forgotten for the sake of the batfam.

in conclusion: we're just so used to the idea that superheroes can only ever form strong friendship bonds by having near death experiences together that we forget that the secret identifies exist and that the people who know them by their legal name also means a lot to them. after all, these people are the reason why they're heroes.

[aevallare]

3, 11, and 16 for Auri!!

3. how lactose intolerant are they and if they were lactose intolerant would this stop them from consuming lactose products

auri is not lactose-intolerant, but she is very stupid. so, if she WAS lactose-intolerant, she would simply continue to eat lactose products while wondering why her life was ending every time

11. story of their first kiss (if applicable)

auri had her first kiss when she was six. she and a little half-elf boy at the orphanage didn't really understand what all the fuss was about with kissing, so they decided to give it a try for themselves!

they still did not understand afterward

16. given a bag of fruit-flavoured candies which fruit flavour of candy is their favourite and which one do they vehemently dislike

her favorite would be lemon and her least favorite would be grape!! (fuck artificial grape all my homies hate artificial grape)

[marzowo]

One more post b4 i sleep

Warning that this au is 1:A beast Au x Original Au mix

So its gonna make like no fucking sense

2:Ive never read or watched Bsd or beast bsd

sorry,im hoping someone will help my au makes sense

3: There are probably so many timeline incorrect things with this au,Aka why i got frustrated and gave up :/

Anyway first is the hc that i have,its a small one

But i hc that atsushis hair was originally black,and it turned white during his days in the orphanage and thats how the orphanage knew he was a monster (they didnt know what he was,but child with 'magic' in a toxic church?) probably a demon

They didnt know he was the tiger until later on

The next hc is a huge one :D

and it has to do with religious trauma,Im not going into detail but basically Atsushi has some severe,like some severe religious trauma,not only was he physically abused, The Orphanage's religion was used as a vice of punishment not only for atsushi but all the Orphanage kids,his was just the most severe(like cult typa shit,maybe ot was actually a cult)

Now for the O!bsd x B!bsd au

,l like to imagine for my ver of the au That theres technically 2 headmasters of the orphanage, The original headmaster and his son, when atsushi was a child he was a teenager Atsushi kills the original headmaster and its the son that gets into a car accident later in the bsd series, or you could switch it to atsushi killing the son and after he dies the father repents bcs he knows it was technically his fault.

[This is when shots starts to go downhill and starts to mention timelines]

Atsushi's orphanage bg is exactly like beast au,up to when mori finds him {i think mori might have gone to retrieve him} (this is as someone who nevee read beast tho,so im not sure if shes there but) atsushi escapes the orphanage instead of being kicked out,he roams the streets for awhile mostly sticking to alleys and he eventually finds himself close to ig one of the many bases that the PM has (idk ive never read or watched bsd or beast bsd) and elise is out running an errand(or something IDK WHAT SHE DOES SMH), we all know ellise knows shit she shouldnt,and she recognizes atsushi (idfk maybe she doesnt recognise him,she just finds his hair pretty.) but she takes him to mori and mori takes care of him for some time bcs why not (idk why i made this but,im now realising it makes no sense...) but mori gives him the decision of the port mafia or the ada (this is after a large timeskip btw,atsushi works in rhe shadows and noone,not even dazai knows he works for the pm,everything is essentially like cannon) and he decides he wants to take a break from the mafia for abit {this sounds like a wattpad fanfic,kill me now

and goes to work for the ada,just not in the usual sense, since noone knows who he is and he still works for mori (Queue Cannon) Atsushi basically is a hella good actor. [fuck this idea,all my homies hate this idea. Atsushi is an actor yes but he actually quits the pm instead and goes i to his found family arc.] he decides to join back the pm after the ada goes down Idk but the (current?) arc with dazai and fyodor passes and the pm somehow ends up unscathed but relocated and dazai goes missing [Last i heard he disappeared down an elevator shaft or sumn]

Idfk where this au has gone anymore

Yea :)))

Heres one more HC/AU thingy based off somone elses AU that i saw

The persons Au! - The tiger has the ability to steal abilities when astushi eats the ability owner.

My Additon to the AU: Now i hc that as WR atsushi ate someone who had the ability to change size and appearance (maybe a notorious criminal who didnt pay off his mafia debts) so when life got too interesting or dangerous for him he'd change age and looks and just start all over again (and bcs of his tigers regeneration ability, just like with deadpool he's essentially immortal)

This is a rant,its going on tumblr

UGH

My brain is too full :/

i didnt mean to make it this long tbh

Anyway im hoping somone will like my HC's and AU's and appreciate me pls thank u

GN

[sentofight]

ooc. brain squeezed a little bit of energy and wrote this. I wouldn't say this is a properly proofread and stuff but I kind of give up. It is considered a draft lol but hey i want to reward myself and my brain so good job brainy. my bs down here got hint of headcanon (leaning to the canon divergent area once i add Ai.Ni stuff so you are warned.)

also copy past what i had on the first post i drafted--my rant.

ooc. it is something i kept on the shelf for a while because help my brain it is getting so slow with stuff like this. timeline for date--aka ha/yato y/agyu. ofc it is headcanon thing since we dont perceive A/iNi for the crap they pulled about him. look it gave us older zuki and thank you for it but otherwise ... that heap of garbage fire about my man date no thanks. stop making everyone wait for him. lets face it, he is not worth the wait. everyone should've moved on and not 'wait' for him. and the whole lol i forgot, again~. please. stop toying with ppl like that. i feel bad for hitomi but i feel even bad for boss. the woman risked everything for him the first time you know. but the one who got actually devastated is zuki. he said he would be there for her--the new family, the new safe home and YET HE GOES MIA. damn i hate it. it's like they wanted to pull the 'let us kill the mentor move so the pupil can go on this self reflecting journey and grow stronger'. no homie it does not work like that. feeling abandoned is different. anyway. my attempt at this timeline thing. again, mostly headcanon and ofc canon divergent because of A/iNi crap.

Down the cut, yehaw.

Birth

Born in 3rd of August, 1977 to unnamed parents and was placed in an orphanage his whole teenage years. In the orphanage, Hayato was treated badly there. There are no actual stories or incidents but knowing how bad some orphanages can be in the real world, I’d headcanon he was beaten because of the simplest mistakes. I’d think there might be some sexual misconduct but I wouldn’t go that far, perhaps to some other orphans but maybe not Hayato due to how resilient and unyielding personality from a young age. It would be troublesome to try to tame someone like him in that way. It won’t break him but what would break him is seeing something like that is inflicted on someone weaker than him. Probably this is how he was ‘punished’ back then. The more stubborn he is, the more someone is going to get the end stick to penalize Hayato indirectly. Hence, why he grew up to lust and crave for justice. As we were told by Rohan Kumakura, prisoner 89 wanted to seek justice on ‘evils of the world’ whatever they are. if you fit the evil image in his mind, you are to be punished for it.

School days

During his time in the orphanage, Hayato went to school but due to the stigma of being a “throw away child”, he was not given that much of a chance to enjoy school life. He had a strict curfew so there was no chance for him to join a school club or hang out with ‘friends’ which he didn’t have. Despite that, he made sure to focus on one thing; how to get justice for himself and for everyone who were wronged, thus researching and figuring out his path after school and after leaving the orphanage—going to the police academy! Luckily, with enough school credits and doing his best to not get into fights, which at times were unavoidable due to how some would keep instigating the fights because of his upbringing. However, Hayato is smart. He’d know how to end the fight in his favor. It is something he had to learn in the orphanage (or actually he learned FROM the orphanage whenever any inspection coming, no one would see the abuse. They know how to hide the marks and injuries.) With that, Hayato managed to score enough to send application to the police academy to ensure his place is booked by the time he can leave the orphanage and no moment wasted. Not all orphans from his place got the chance to go to school, so whenever he is free, he’d teach the kids there what he knows. Mostly, how to protect themselves.

Leaving the Orphanage

On the 3rd of August 1995, the same day he turned 18 he immediately left the orphanage. There was no hesitation, no second thoughts. He was literally dying to leave that hellscape. To make sure his plan worked efficiently, he made sure all the steps were taken properly in his high school years. Hayato had saved up enough money to rent a room but because of the whole legal papers and all, he had some troubles but worked them out with some persuasion. After that, Hayato kept working part time jobs here and there waiting for his letter of acceptance. Hayato would join the police academy at the age of 18.

Police Academy

Being young and with little experience of life under his belt, he had to be careful around everyone. He kept everyone at an arm length and more. Being from an orphanage, he learned about the hierarchy the hard way. In there, who got the absolute word in any matter was the orphanage manager, then the workers, then the orphan seniors. Upset any of these and you’ll get one ticket to hell time. The seniors in particular were the toughest on the other orphans. The more they kept the ‘order’ the more rewards they get themselves. After all, they are most likely handpicked by the workers to make the work easier on them. You go against the seniors, then you are basically going against the workers. Hayato tried to understand the hierarchy in the police academy first then work his way up the ladder to be the highest. Technically, Hayato was accepted as a student not a cadet when he was 18  for two years he learned various things which he was not privileged to learn in normal school or from the orphanage [from character building to laws.] Officially, he joined when he became 20 about the legal age in J.apan. During these two years, Hayato spent it studying and working to achieve his dream. Just going into the police academy was not enough. He had to know which position he should aim for if he wants to ‘punish’ evil doers in the world. It was hard for him to figure out if he wants to do it by his own hands or through others. Though being fueled by nothing but anger and hatred, he had to go with the former—punish them himself. It wouldn’t feel right if someone else did it. Though at this point what he envisioned was through the law or he wouldn’t go through the trouble with going to the police academy.

Now he is in the ranks, he kept his same pace—work hard, keep everyone at a safe distance, and mark your targets. The training in the police academy was honestly a joke at first to him. What he had to go through in his orphanage years prepared him for the worst. Mental games the officers would pull on the cadets didn’t work on Hayato. If anything, it made him scoff and entice the anger of some officers with his snarky remarks. He excelled in whatever they thrown at him, after all he got a goal he works for. He was not liked among his peers but no one can hate him because they see him working twice harder than anyone because of his ‘background’. It did come to moments where he would bash someone’s head but is saved by none other than the new [friend] he managed to acquire—Shizue Kuranushi. Even if he was over his past, there were times certain flashbacks would get him.

Rivalry with Shizue Kuranushi

As mentioned before, Hayato didn’t have friends back in the police academy because to him, they are all rivals aiming for the position he wants. Though one in particular was almost head to head with his achievements and at times, surpassing him—Shizue. Their first meeting was not strange occurrence but she did leave a great impression on someone who does not even care to remember his senior officer’s name. The two would often challenge each other whether shooting, running, physical training etc. Sometimes she would come up over him and sometimes he would. That to say, these two dominated every training with unbreakable records for the poor peasants in their same class year. As they bonded together, Hayato confined to Shizue about a portion of his ‘plan’ which is to seek justice. That did resonate with Shizue’s own wish to climb the ladder to seek the same thing. However, she knew he had more to tell but there was nothing she can do to get the whole truth out of him--not even getting drunk at an ungodly hour on their day off. Hayato was careful to not let his inner thoughts slip for a second. It was dangerous. Years passed and the two graduated, Hayato went to his suitable job being a detective, and Shizue who conquered all odds and became a squad leader. Going by this chart,

we see that Shizue is ranked above Hayato. Because this is the right way they chose to go by. Perhaps Shizue figured that Hayato was not going to fight her for this position thus made sure to keep him around her as a detective of her precinct. Honestly, Hayato might be ambiguous and enigmatic to all but Shizue; she could read him like an open book. Perhaps due to their shared struggles and all.

Rookie Detective

Hayato was the type to work on any case thrown at him. Being a rookie, he was belittled at first, especially with his background. He knew he had to gain the trust from these idiotic old farts who sit on their chairs and do nothing properly to get the big cases. It is the ‘play nice to get what you want’ kind of act. There were cases where he had seen the senior detectives give up on because it is pain in the ass to keep searching for evidence which didn’t help his inner passion for justice and society reform. He did get into trouble with bickering with senior detectives over cases but he had to dial it down at times. Though his hot flaming hot Cheetos brain would get the better of him and whack a detective or two yelling at them to do their job properly. That leads him to a couple of days out of service and cut in his salary but that didn’t bother him. If anything, whenever he comes back he has this smug face like ‘try again’. Even if someone wanted to take him out of the force, they couldn’t. One, his record at solving crimes is impressive and kicking him out would make everyone turn at them for questions. Two, the man got the squad leader as a friend. Do you know how that elevate his ‘social’ position? Shizue, even if she didn’t do anything, just people figuring out that she is Hayato’s friend would make some things easier for the detective. Who would want to cross the squad leader, huh? Little did they know that Shizue would never give a fuck about Hayato (because he is a big boy he can do his own ass wiping) and he would never ask her for a favor even if his life depended on it.           

Downfall

Hayato Yagyu’s downfall happened when he was pursuing a criminal and followed him to the Harbor Warehouse District. This criminal is wanted for assaulting and murdering multiple women. This would be the breaking point for Hayato why? Because the criminal did something similar to what used to happen back in the orphanage. If a senior orphan hit a young orphan just because he wanted, the senior could get away from any punishment because he is on good terms with the workers. Basically, he got the connection to escape from any crime he committed or is committing or will commit. The fact that the criminal gloated that no matter what Hayato will do, the criminal’s connection will get him out in no time. The man didn’t choose the right time to rub that salt on Yagyu’s wound because the detective was holding his gun at the criminal. Feeling that the cycle is repeating over and over, the strong and with connection will come on top no matter what and the weak will be stepped on, Hayato didn’t feel himself but emptying his gun on the criminal. And as per usual, something of this scale would be reported heavily on. A detective becoming the judge, the jury and the execution, that is unheard of. Obviously, the police force had to cover this up whilst it sweep the whole force and by default open up some cans of worms which no one want to be opened. Thus, covering Hayato Yagyu’s case and manipulated and forged the evidence to present it as self-defense.

Hayato always knew he wanted to serve justice by his own hands but now, he is now sure than ever that justice is not served through the mainstream mean he thought he would do it—through the police work but ACTUALLY by his OWN hands. What he envisioned first was to do it via the proper channels and get it recognized by the legal system but now … pretty much fuck the legal system we bring justice by his own means. Hence, doing all the work by himself—killing the criminals he deem unworthy of a trial or a jail cell. Knowing how to cover up for his tracks, Hayato managed to kill more than 17 criminal. However, his gig was found by a group, a yakuza mob syndicate called the Kumakuras.

From Detective to Hitman

The reason why Hayato was found by this group is because he targeted one of their people. A guy called [X] and is important part of the Kumakuras. That did not go well with the chairman of the group and at that time it was Rohan. The chairman ordered that Yagyu to be brought in front of him. The faithful location of Yagyu gaining his new moonlight job and alias was the Kabasaki Chemical Plant. There, Rohan with his henchmen had Yagyu restrained and questioned about his strange and impressive past. Knowing Hayato kills the criminals yet when he looked over his record, there was no mention of these said killings. It means that this Hayato is the piece of pawn Rohan wanted for his group. Hayato was offered a position as an assassin and he had no choice but to accept since the other position is being 6 feet underground. His new moonlight job earned him the codename [Falco].Hayato would work normally in the morning as your local detective and by night when he is given an order by the Kumakuras, he’d turn into the assassin Falco. All this started in 2010ish so then Hayato Yagyu was in his thirties. This did a huge blow to his mindset, his values and certainly his ambition.

Breaking free?

His first hope of breaking from this vicious cycle he got himself into was his meeting with Hitomi Sagan. Their faithful meeting was when Hayato was following a target but he got the better of him and shot him in the stomach. Hayato assessing the situation, it would be foolishness to pursue in this case so he opt to escape and finally collapsed nearby Ikume Shrine. At that time, he thought that this is the end of him. All the things he had done is coming to bite him in the ass when someone came to his aid. The elementary teacher, Hitomi came to his rescue. She brought to a mob doctor called Dokuta Yogano after managing to flee the men pursing Hayato. (let’s not mention that he assaulted her by a kiss smh.) This was the spark Hayato needed to regain in 2013.

Because of their faithful encounter, Hayato became to meet Hitomi in secret because of his position and her position. It would look unfavorable for Hitomi’s look—a single mother suddenly bringing a strange man to her home. Not to mention her job as an elementary teacher, bad rep will affect her job. However, he never told her his real name just Falco. The little she knows about him, the less harm she can come her way, and if he managed to pull himself away from her, she… couldn’t find him. Though all that said and done, he was falling deeper and deeper in this peace and warmth that Hitomi had given him. The two went on dates and Hitomi realized how soft and adorable Falco actually is. Sharing another kiss and it is implied that the two grow closer about their backgrounds; Hitomi telling Falco about her best friend. Afterwards, Hitomi decided to introduce Falco to Iris who was 12 at that time. The two bonded quickly and she kept calling him uncle.

The Cyclops Serial Killings

Detective Yagyu was assigned to a new case which they dub as “Cyclops Serial Killings.” Four bodies of women were found missing their right eyes. During this time, Falco grew even closer to the Sagan family to which Iris suggested he marries her mom so he can become Dad and it was non other than Falco who gave Iris the idea of the name A-Set.

Because of this newfound feeling in his heart, Falco decided to do something almost crazy. He went to Rohan and asked him if he can stop being an assassin—to walk free from his job for the Kumakuras. Rohan was surprisingly ok with it but he asked him to do one last job which is to kill the Sagan family. The reason he wants to walk away from this life is the key to it. Of course, Falco had to accept because knowing his refusal means someone else will do the hit. To save his family, he finally gave up and went to seek Shizue’s help. He confessed to everything from A to Z. Surprisingly, as well, she was on his side. She told him about ABIS and the Psync Machine. The plan was simple, switch places with Rohan, issue command to leave the Sagans and then Falco would be able to save his family which he has now to …abandon them.

The plan was set in motion, Shizue brought Rohan to HQ, drugged him and took him to the psync room to swap with Hayato. The thing they didn’t expect was that Rohan and an accomplice—Saito Seijima were the killers they are looking for. To their shock, Rohan escaped in Hayato’s body and went to kill the Sagans. In the confrontation, Hayato (in Rohan’s body) shot at Rohan (in Hayato’s body) but Hitomi stepped in to save Hayato (Rohan.) That led to shooting Hitomi in her left arm and side which after the surgery made it unusable. Guilt eating him up, Hayato left them.

To finish what he started, Hayato went to the Kumakura to pose as Rohan and issue that the hit on the Sagans is off. Next, he went to meet up with Shizue so they can trick Saito Sejima for their investigation. Saito did confess of his crimes to Hayato/Rohan but then finds about that Rohan is not Rohan so he captures him and sends him to the Abandoned Chemical Plant. There, they tortured him and used truth serum to fess up with everything. Saito now knows about the Psync machina, the prototype in Chiba. He orders for it to be brought to him and after a while the machine is in Saito’s hands to abuse.

Not only Saito tortured Hayato but he forced a swap on him to take over Rohan’s body. For the swap to happen, Saito removed his own eye and Rohan’s and made the swap. Tragically, an error occurred and the body swap went through, however, the memories part didn’t transfer successfully. Making Hayato in Saito’s body and waking up with no recollection of what happened, he escaped after seeing a lot of men around him.

In his escape, Shizue found him but thought he was Saito himself but talking to him she realized that it is none other than Hayato but without his memories so she took him in and faked or made a new family registry for him with the help of someone you wouldn’t think of but So Seijima himself, Saito’s father and MPD. Then, Hayato who was Falco who turned to Rohan then swapped with Saito is now called Kaname Date, the new Psyncer for ABIS.

New Identity, new connections

With Hayato now being in Saito’s body and gaining a new identity which is Kaname Date, he is to the world the funny energetic detective that house the artificial intelligent aiball in his left eye—Aiba. The two met in 2014 (counting Hayato’s real age would be 37) and started working together. A problem come with being in Saito’s body is that Aiba had to keep an eye on his oxytocin level and supply it to his brain directly otherwise, well… he goes nuts. Allegedly. Because the game plot for saito is that he is born with this defect and not having oxytocin means he does not feel love. Funny thing that I looked over this and well. I was surprised by the thing I learned about oxytocin and what it actually means to have low level of it. 1) empathy in social situations and 2) and hanky panky. Actual segs stuff which leads to babies and breastfeeding and all that jazz. So where did the love for murder and not having it makes him nuts? Anyway plot potato thing.

During his time as Kaname Date, unlike his previous life, he made friends—Renju in particular and his wife Shoko. Hence, later on befriending their daughter Mizuki. This turn of personality be due to Saito’s influence and also Hayato’s deep need of connections—true and honest connections.

Renju

Renju confessed to Date about his past but that didn’t stop Date from being his friend. Yes, what he did was wrong but Renju had no hand in the actual murders themselves. Date admires the perseverance of Renju, something he needs to push himself to do.

Shoko

I honestly, for my interpretation I see Date ‘tolerating’ Shoko. She may be not a strong friend to him but he can understand that she is going through a lot. But he does not understand that the need to resort to violence and against non-other than her daughter. Honestly, had Date is still Hayato, he might have done something to separate Mizuki from Shoko early on. No one knows what abuse is more than Hayato himself, no family, no friends nothing, just alone and he had to face lots of hardships on his own. Meanwhile, Mizuki got parents but they don’t love her properly like any parents should??? That’s crazy. She deserves better in his eyes. Thus why Date is trying to come around and understand Shoko a little bit. Yes, still no excuse to hit a child even if you are feeling like the whole weight of the world on you—you chose to give birth to her. She didn’t choose this life. Deal with it.

Mizuki

Being the daughter of his good and ok friends, she obviously was special to him. Again, just because he is in Saito’s body and without his Hayato’s memories didn’t mean he found himself always weak to kids. Date got a soft spot for her, perhaps due to what he knows about her parents and due to how she always presents herself as strong and capable of handling herself. It nags something inside of his soul deeeep inside. A soft voice saying ‘that’s you’ at one point in his life. The struggling, the pretending, the putting up fronts etc. Date just can’t help but look after her even if Renju didn’t ask him to take her if things were to go south.

A Guardian

When Renju and Shoko divorced in 2015 (38 years old Hayato), Date was automatically tasked with watching over Mizuki. Honestly, he had his doubts. If Renju couldn’t have time to be with her when they were living together and he is her father, what does he think that Date would have time to be with her? He’s a detective. He could go all over the place in search of evidence and clues and she would be all alone all over again. It bothered him but thankfully, Boss does not give him more than one case to work on so he can come back home on a reasonable time and be with Mizuki more.

True that their relationship took a while for it to develop with how hurt Mizuki is. Date cannot hope to win her trust that easily but he never gave up and kept pestering her day and night. Slowly, they come to accept each other. For her birthday he gave her adorabbit which she didn’t like at first but then grew attached to it. The adorable fact between them that they make each other like stuff the other didn’t know about or care about. Mizuki started collecting stickers which Date started helping her then she grew less interested in but Date kept collecting them for her.

Her time in school was rough for a young girl whose parents got divorced. Date suggested, with obviously calculated plan, to teach her the art of defending herself—martial arts. Of course, he just unlocked the beast inside of Zuki and since then she kept breaking his kneecaps. (jk)

The New CK

Since his new identity, it has been 6 years. The new case he got is the murder of his friend, Shoko—Mizuki’s mom, November 1st, 2019. Hayato is 42 and it has been five years since Mizuki started living with him.

Imma just summarize the routes because we know the true ending is the one so.

For Oda’s route and Mizuki’s route the only thing I can take from is his relationship with Mizuki growing up; befitting the found family image. [crying about zuki in date’s somsom]

For Iris’ route, it showcase that Date again got the soft spot for kids. Not to mention, the background that Date (Hayato) and Iris shared, it might influence Date why he would believe Iris even though she spit out hot flaming garbage about the Nianiaxtlolnonlon organization and the wadget system and brain wave take over or something. The fact Date just accepted Iris words and worked together to prove her claims. But in the end, losing her. Ouchie.

Destruction route…hello pain and suffering. Idk what to say except date is an idiot and he had a chance to fondle boss’ chest and he missed it lmao. Listen!!! Like that route is mind blowing like what happened to Hitomi okay? The fact that most puzzle pieces are coming together and voila you are not you is just big brain move. Kind of reminds me of the Delta ending in ZED—shooting the screen lol.

True ending..wonderful, amazing, immaculate we got our body back. God bless, now we can go back and date that wonderful teacher and seg---. Anyway. BODY is back. Hayato is back. No more Saito’s body because god forbid trying to hijack that body again without that handsome head which was …fireworked. This sit us at the end with Hayato in his real body and he is old fart of 42 years old (I’m thinking about that his birthday is on august and the case on November so he is 43?)

That’s as far as the first game. Quick recap

3rd of August 1977--Born

3rd of August 1995—Left orphanage, age 18

1995 ~ 2000—Police Academy years, age 23

2000~ 2010—Working as a Detective, age 33

2010~2013—Falco time, age 35

2014—New life, [Kaname Date]+ meeting Aiba, age Hayato 36, Saito 30

2015~2019—Living with Mizuki, age 39

2019—the start of the New Cyclops Killings ~ true ending, Hayato got his body back, age 39

[machinegunkissu]

♡hi! could we have some NSFW HCs of Oda and Kiryu, please? thank you :D

||I’m so sorry that this is kinda short. I’ve been going through it kinda and having massive brain crash, especially with my midterms coming up

minors dni 18+

Jun Oda

Call him Wei Tian and it’s gameover. It all depends on his mood. He primarily becomes far more aggressive, turning animalistic. If you’re in deep passionate sex, and he’s bottoming however, he just melts, turning into a soft, moaning mushy mess. Soft boy hours or Predatory hours, there is no in between homies

Voted most likely to have hate sex

Jun uses toys a lot. Like. It’s routine and necessary ever session. Primarily he likes to use vibrators no matter the gender or genitalia. He is very skilled with them and his hands. He likes to see his partner squirming if he is the top.

Jun is primarily a bottom. A switch but a bottom most of the time, with a strong masochistic kink. He loves getting slapped and gets that stereotypical face of bliss with each hit.

Kiryu Kazuma

Lemme just get this one out the way that first and foremost, I fully headcanon Kiryu as asexual or at least demisexual.

Kiryu got bigger fish to fry in his life, so he is happy and content with small intimate quickies in the dead of night at a rendezvous spot cause that’s sure as hell not going to happen in the orphanage. He refuses to risk one of the kids coming in and scarring them.

Top him. Top this man. Take the reins and just let him figure out where to put his hands and what to do later on. He is not well versed and just very confused almost every time

Because of the rocky start he has with new activities typically, he isn’t too into exploring. He’s happy to do so if his partner brings up something but he himself is not going out and exploring. He is happy being vanilla. If he stumbles into a kink though, so be it. He’s pretty lax even in this department.

[one-piece-dumpster-fire]

My Thots on Chapter 1013

Warning for spoilers under the cut!

First of, "Nami vs. Ulti", aka the fight most of us were looking forward to-

On one hand I'm living for Big Mom once again proving that she's a major threat and should not be taken lightly, but on the other hand I am super disappointed that Oda ended the last chapter with hyping up Nami only for her to be,,,, almost instantly fodderized. Put some respect on my girl's name, for crying out loud😫

...I'm guessing Ulti will somewhat 'recover' at a later point (and come back incredibly nerfed) and that's when Nami gets to fight her. Idk how I feel about that portrayal, but welp. Moving on-

...Zeus getting vored is already in my top ten most uncomfortable OP moments

Ok but not Zeus the Thundercloud having a better redemption arc than Pudding...😂 I actually feel sad for him here lol. Him saying that he understands if Nami doesn't want to forgive him but still choosing to sacrifice his life for her... I legit did not see it coming, but I'm pleasantly surprised at that development!

Man, fuck Hera. All my homies (except Prometheus and Napoleon) hate Hera.

Aaaand this is why Big Mom's "mother mode" is bullshit. She wasn't happy to see Tama again because of any 'motherly feelings' she suddenly had for the child but because Tama was her friend. Big Mom with her childlike personality was excited because she saw her friend again, not because there was a kid under a certain age that magically activated her Fairy Godmother side!

And now that Tama seems to leave her she gets angry like a little kid. Prolly 'cause it reminds her of when she was small and Mother Caramel + her friends at the orphanage "abandoned" her. This is... who Big Mom is. A dangerous, overgrown child (and I'm saying this as a stan ok lol). I really don't get why Oda even decided to come up with that mother mode explanation, the scene where she reunites with Tama would have been completely fine without it, but he just had to go on and turn it into a inconsistency with Big Mom's character (she paid Caesar to experiment on little kids, would have killed Chiffon along with her baby son, has been shown to be very cruel to her own children when they were young, laughed her ass off when Momo was being tortured...) "If you're a child under a certain age you might be able to activate Big Mom's special mother mode!" is just the dumbest and most nonsensical plot convenvience and I'm still kinda mad about it existing xD

Finally, the confrontation I've been waiting for👀 Not gonna lie, in my opinion Kid has been... sorta underwhelming since the raid started. But he has history with Big Mom and I'm hoping this face-off is finally gonna give us some more insight on his shenanigans during the past two years. Kid is due for some interesting character development if you'd ask me, so I'm looking forward to this👌🏻

And last but not least-

If you'd ask me, this would have been the perfect end to the third act, but oh well. Anyway I'm guessing Luffy will land close to the Flower Capital and this concludes the build-up phase for the war🤔

I went back and re-read the raid from the beginning and yeah... all the match-ups, all the teasing of plots, it was really just build-up. I'm 90% sure once we reach the Flower Capital is when the real war will begin and we'll finally get to see some pay-off. Everything that has happened so far was just set up for the next, big act. Which, admittedly... was a choice. The raid has lasted over a year and the pacing ranged from alright to atrocious. I'm really hoping that Oda is done teasing now and will finally start resolving plotlines and actually concluding fights, otherwise Wano might take another 5 years...

[ashigecross]

So what I'm seeing from today's episode is that it's all this guy's fault.

The level of just everything that would have been not quite as bad if at any point this grown full on man had reacted any different is like...

I mean let's pretend for a second that he had said, "oh you don't need that" ripped the shock collar off of cinder and walked out with her. What would step mom have done? Called the cops? Racist hag clearly puts shock collars on orphans I bet money the authorities wouldn't have been too quick to return her visibly abused child to her.

Or let's say he saw her berate Cinder and spoke up immediately when he first got shown in frame. What would old girl have done? Not jack shit. Man really out here on the small brain vibes giving Cinder a bad impression of the huntsman. Honestly I feel like even drunk era Qrow could have handled that better.

We calling him Rhodes? I assume y'all saw that in the credits so we'll go with that. Fuck Rhodes, all my homies hate Rhodes. Child abusing racist hags are bad, protectors of the land who see child abuse and react with "but what if you went to college?" And then shrug and act like they've helped might be worse.

At the very least (if his excuse is "well taking a child to fight grimm is dangerous") he could have had a conversation with her when he saw the killing her family bit instead of being like "and now you're a threat." That boy stupid and even though I'm not huge for cinder in general I really blame her like... better 30 and 50% less now.

Rhodes could have found her a new orphanage, taken her in as his kid from the start, reported the situation to whatever approximates police in that bit of what I'm pretty sure was atlas, just generally put her with better people (I'm sure he's made friends in his adventures that he'd trust), or even just not attacked her immediately after she killed her family. Literally the bare minimum would have been to not pull his weapons on a child that he gave a sword, and he even fucked that up.

Like we can definitely say cinder did her own shitty stuff afterwards, but really it's not like she had a lot of examples of what the good shit even really was so like... Rhodes really dropped the entirety of the ball on that one.

"Well I mean if you're abused for 7 more years you can go to vigilante school. Anyway let me leave you with a sword because your abusive mother will definitely be ok with you having that and there's no way this can go wrong at all."

Fuck Rhodes on every level. Like he was kinda mildly cool when he was training her in secret, but retroactively with my 20/20 hindsight he would have done objectively better to kidnap the child and train her himself in the field.

[trophywifejimgordon]

ok fuck the ten year time jump me and my homies HATE the ten year time jump and i swear after this post i’m never acknowledging it again. but. i have been sitting on this gobblepot sequence of events surrounding it,,,

:). so basically,

oz & ed commit some crime, or they’re framed for it. or ed does something on his own and tries to bring oswald down. or their pardon is just generally ignored/abused.

whatever happens, they get arrested.

jim sees this arrest and knows it’s not right, but gotham’s new management really wants them put away. he says it’s not right. they threaten him. he fights back. they threaten everything he stands for. well....

he gives in. just another thing to feel guilty about forever, right?

they’re both going to be put in arkham indefinitely.

jim campaigns against this. he doesn’t waste time on ed (can’t, if he wants to sustain credibility), but vouches for oswald’s sanity, citing the certificate of recovery from his first stint in arkham, his mayoral campaign, the illegality of his second arkham visit, and his custody of martin.

he does not get oswald a pardon. he does get him 12 years at blackgate.

10, with parole, if he’s good.

jim prays he’ll be good

he keeps the news of his mostly failed campaign under wraps as much as he can, because he doesn’t want oswald to feel obliged to him for something that didn’t even save him from prison, and in fact probably made things a lot worse. as a result, all oswald ever hears about it is, “jim gordon had you sentenced to blackgate.”

he’s furious. he vows to Kill Jim Gordon

oswald goes to blackgate.

jim tries to visit him exactly once. oswald is so furious that the guards have to physically restrain him. he does not visit again.

oswald has enough of a reputation (and is smart enough to have earned it) that he is not touched in prison. in fact, he makes somewhat of a name for himself, and, while he doesn’t enjoy his time there by any means, it IS better than arkham. he’s at least comfortable; he eats well, he arranges poker games, he makes skillful connections that will last him years, and he keeps information flowing to him on the inside.

he starts writing passive aggressive letters to jim with thinly veiled threats on his life inside them. they keep getting returned to him unopened, and eventually he stops sending them. he keeps writing, though. eventually, these evolve and become not the threats and barbed comments that they were meant to be, but more love letters to a jim gordon of a bygone year, an idealized jim gordon that oswald knows never existed. he keeps them in a neat stack beneath his cot. 

oswald does not tell anyone about these letters.

jim looks into what happened to martin after oswald sent him away, and he gets the news that cobblepot lost custody entirely. apparently, he’s been jumping from foster home to foster home because he scares the people who want an undamaged kid and lashes out against the people who are just in it for a check from the state. all of them think they can get him to start talking. he draws disturbing pictures of them dying in creative ways. apparently, there’s talk of getting him sent to a correctional facility.

jim has him moved to a gotham-based orphanage, and visits him. initially, martin won’t acknowledge him at all. jim tries to explain that he didn’t want oz hurt, gets into their history a little, and after bribing him with books and things he hasn’t had since he was in oswald’s care, jim starts to win his trust.

he visits martin about once a week. what really wins him martin’s trust is that he gets it set up so the orphanage will allow him to visit oswald in prison regularly, on the condition that he doesn’t let oswald know who’s behind it. martin more or less behaves himself at the orphanage from then on.

those visits are the highlight of oswald’s week, and they keep him going more than anything else in those ten years. he starts learning sign language in his spare time.

on the other side of things, jim bumbles his way through learning it, too. they’re all accidentally a family without any actual interaction on oswald and jim’s side.

when barbara lee gets older, jim introduces her to martin. she asks why he doesn’t come live with them; jim tells martin it’s an option--he’s hesitant. jim understands, and doesn’t pressure him.

barbara lee is the highlight of jim’s life, and the only thing that really keeps him going. he’s worn out by the crime in gotham, by the way he’s been working for over 15 years and hasn’t made a single dent. he’s unfulfilled in his marriage, and watches barbara kean get better every day while he falls into familiar despair.

he starts taking risks. he starts going out into the field for the thrill of it, and leslie files for divorce.

in jail, oswald hears about jim getting hurt and worries, despite himself. he hates jim for making him care.

he writes more letters.

jim hears that bruce is returning, and feels that his time is finally done. he’s not actively suicidal, but he wants to die, and well... hm. everything is winding to a close. he turns in his resignation.

penguin is released from jail on parole. neither of them are surprised when oswald appears in the back seat of jim’s car. neither of them are surprised when they end up at the docks.

jim’s resigned to oswald shooting him. he decides that whatever happens, he’ll probably deserve it. 

but oswald can’t shoot him.

he doesn’t want jim dead. he wants jim to understand how much he’s been hurting for the past decade. jim sees this, and he jumps in the river--not to save himself, really, but to spare oswald the tumult. and because oswald’s very personal rage suddenly puts the arkham breakout in a new light.

in all the chaos, he doesn’t report the incident. 

martin is out of the orphanage now, going through college at gotham u, paid for by an anonymous source, perhaps tangentially connected to the wayne foundation. oswald comes to visit him, and during their reunion, martin lets something slip about jim.

troubled and frantic, oswald chases the thread. he ends up unraveling the whole thing, down to transcripts of jim fighting so hard for his acquittal. 

he confronts jim again, in tears. asks him why he’d let oswald hate him for so long--why he’d let oswald kill him--over something like this. jim just tells him he figures he’d deserved it. he treated oswald like shit for so long, everything now is too little, too late.

oswald hates him for this explanation.

he loves jim gordon.

they kiss. probably marry. oswald gives jim the support he needs to continue on as commissioner, jim doesn’t feel like he’s compromising his principles quite so much when he looks the other way while oswald reestablishes his empire. oswald eventually gives jim the love letters, and jim admits he’s been thinking about the ones he sent back unopened for years; he knew how much oswald hated him at the time, and the masochistic part of him wanted to read the abuse, but he thought it would be better for oswald if he could just get it out of his system and forget about jim. martin is best big brother to barbara lee. everyone pretends that they don’t know that batgirl is kind of totally threatening to beat up her beloved stepfather. 

the end :)

[ipushedthewrongbutton]

Skyrim is such a fun game??? But also surprisingly emotional

it’s been more or less since the game came out that i played it. I don’t even know how many years but long enough for me to not remember anything but the literal first scene, so i decided, since we’re in quarantine and all, this would be the perfect time to start over and finally at least finish the main quest.  back when i first played, my english wasn’t great so i didnt understand upgrading or taking random quests from random npc’s so i mostly went along where the lil white arrows told me to go.

NOW THO, i can upgrade weapons, gear, i can actually understand alchemy and enchanting, i can do as many useless quests as i want and i have the internet at my disposal in case i was too stoopid to figure out the next step myself.

Started out great, clicked the wrong button while picking a name and so instead  of pressing the backspace button, i confirmed my male breton’s name as Prisoner, for the rest of the fucking game. He looks like a sweetheart tho who’s always confused, thin and wiry, ponytail, can’t grow a beard to save his life but he has a scar under his eye. He’s amnesiac, was arrested at the border, has no fucking clue what he was doing there.

I didn’t wanna think up a backstory, hence...

I immediately decided, fuck it, i ain’t fighting this civil war, I’m a breton, y’all nords do whatever the fuck u want. And i stayed with that. I briefly thought about choosing a side depending on whose point resonated with me more. Turns out, neither point is entirely valid. One side has no respect of history and culture, the other side is racist. So Prisoner was neutral for the entirety of the game. Neither Ulfric nor Tulius got any attention from this homie.

What did receive attention tho was the main quest and boi, i know everyone hates chosen one stories. And they’re right. But man, i love chosen one stories. And my baby boi is the dragonborn and he’s like ?????? And everyone is like “you defeat dragons and you are the hero everyone waited for” and my dude is like ????? Ok??? Sure?????? And he just goes to places and helps as many people as possible on the way. 

Fuckin, the best thing was sideplots happening BY ACCIDENT. Prisoner goes on a quest to murder a shitty orphanage keeper, goes to tell the kid who commissioned him, he feels pretty okay about it. Then he gets The Letter. “we know” with a black handprint. And the shit that left my body at that moment, could’ve started a new nation. I mean, i had a 35 damage weapon at that point and i had slain my, what, fifth dragon at that point so i wasn’t worried about dying from assassins but THE INTIMIDATION WORKED. 

LITTLE DID PRISONER KNOW that this would be the biggest emotional rollercoaster in the goddamn game, no lie. Being the chosen one, sure. Defeating dragons that will cause the apocalypse, no pressure. Become thane of a city, aight. But THEN I GET KIDNAPPED IN MY BRANDNEW HOME AND I WAKE UP IN A SHACK WITH A LIL LADY TELLING ME TO KILL ONE OF THREE PEOPLE. THE FEAR I EXPERIENCED... but then they recruited me, and they’re all really cute colourful characters and we’re assassins and we’re the black brotherhood and we kill people for a living but we’re a Family. And my baby boi character had yet to experience anything like that. Sure the greybeards are mentor-ish but Prisoner never lived up on High Hrothgar amongst the old dudes. The blades did a roadtrip thing which was fun but then they kinda just squatted in their new headquarters and sent Prisoner on his merry way. But this, they had a sleeping place and a dining hall and a lil garden and the werewolf man gave me insulting nicknames and there’s a little girl who says she’s a vampire and to this day, I’m still not sure if she was telling the tRUTH OR NOT. 

AND THEN, AND THEN, the whole emperor thing happens, right, and that’s fucking hilarious. Prisoner with a chef’s head, i was cackling like a madman. And then AND THEN, THE BETRAYAL. ASTRID SAYS there’ll be a surprise up on the lil walkway bridge thing. And then there’s no one. AND THEN THERE’S SOLDIERS TELLING ME THEY’RE AMBUSHING HQ. AND I LOST. MY. SHIT. The thing wouldn’t let me fat travel either because the soldiers kept chasing me and i thought i was gonna have to ride Shadowmere all the way to the other side of skyrim, hysteric and worried about mY FAmILy. AND THEN i arrive at hq and there’s on of them PINNED TO THE TREE and like, guys. Guys. I was crying and full on immersion, i was like “nobody leaves here alive”, it was horrific, I didn’t do any of the stealthing, i just ripped them apart with my draugr greatsword, i already leveled up to the point where i cut my enemies’ heads off, it was glorious. It was so emotional, seeing werewolf man get killed, HE GAVE ME INSULTING NICKNAMES OKAY, and then finding Nazir and then hiding in a fucking coffin with a corpse who’s then like, trying to sooth me??  it was so emotional and i was crying tears of goddamn grief, i was Prisoner and Prisoner was me. The line between fantasy and reality: gone. I had spent HOURS upon DAYS on this game at this point, there was no going back.

hoo

..

So then i killed the emperor, and the reacting of the land was “...hm?” And i killed the general captain dude personal, like, optional my ass, i was gonna murder that shithead optional or not.

So i bought a house. In whiterun. It’s called breezehome (that’s not a choice) and I instantly decided if i ever get my own place, I’m calling it breezehome. I really hesitated about getting a house, since Prisoner is a nomad and constantly on the road, plus, has a “””””home””’”’” with the blades and other places in other quests. But then i decided it takes too much frigging effort to get all my loot sold cus all the pawnbrokers are pawn broke (HAH) and i can only sell them like a few gems and that’s it. And i needed a place to store all that shit, plus, i was going nuts from my collection of keys on my person aaaaaand i needed like a drawer to chuck em all in. And so that’s what i diiiiiiid. I later got the place in solitude too to finish the thane quest there but i literally only used the mannequins in the basement for my brotherhood and nightingale outfits. Which i both have worn literally once and then i just went with my guild outfit. 46 armor is good fuckin armor and the best i owned the entire game. Added some fire resistant shoes and suddenly dragons were super easy to defeat. I also found dragonbane somewhere, i literally only used it to wack dragons when they run aground. Otherwise i switched between a bow and a greatsword, both with the power of stealing health. Glorious. I was invincible. Well, with that and the power of Strategically Running Away. 

I thought it was weird my guy never got the choice of being a leader of literally anything. I mean, thane is an honorary title so you can do whatever you want and not get shit for it, like the privileged fucks we all are, but arch-mage when i only entered the school like last week? Head of the thief’s guild after going on 2 assignments, one of them being the chasing and murdering of the previous one? Never got the choice, was just like “you’re perfect for that” and me “‘I’m LITERALLY the least qualified person im this entire province!” Also i has a flute on my person at all times, bard’s college never taught me how to play it, the bastard’s, all they did was send me on errand in dusty cAVES. AT LEAST IN ASSASSIN’S CREED YOU HAVE TO CHASE THE SHANTIES IN ORDER TO PERFORM THE SHANTIES. 

Then the husband thing.

I knew there was an option to get married and adopt. I don’t want kids, in game or out. But i am disgustingly lonely (especially after the massacre of the black brotherhood) in game or out, so i looked it up and SURE ENOUGH, SAME SEX MARRIAGE IS DELISIOUSLY LEGAL IN SKYRIM, OH BLESSED DAY. Things i learned with this: i cannot handle flirting. It was cute and Prisoner and Falkar are adorable but I CRINGE, A LOT. 

Honestly, the most i personally had with this was envisioning Prisoner finally leaving for Sovngarde (after putting it off for as long as possible) and giving his final goodbye to his brand new husband like, caressing each other’s cheeks and holding each other’s shoulders, “i promise I’ll be home again soon” “and if you don’t, i will find you in sovngarde” “keep the hearth warm while I’m gone” “keep your sword sharp, you always forget to redo the enchantments” “‘don’t neglect the companions just because you wanna housewife” just sacharine as. Fuck. They were in bed togeher the night before, just talking about useless shit and holding each other t was very PG. And then after defeating Alduin, Prisoner finds himself back in Skyrim, relieved that it’s all fucking over at long fucking last, and he climbs on Shadowmere’s back, tired, and rides back home. When he arrives in Whiterun, tired and weathered, he spots Falkar just returning from a mission, he’s also travel weary and just unlocked the door to breezehome. He spots Prisoner and Shadowmere entering through the gates. They pause, they look at each other like they’ve been apart for years instead of days. Falkar drops his back, Prisoner gets off the horse and suddenly they’re running towards each other, till they smack together and they’re just holding each other, it’s the best hug ever. 

Aaaaand that’s kinda where i left it. I have more companion missions but i physically can’t get myself to do them because i feel the story is over, there’s no point. I can also still pick which side of the civil war i wanna take but it would be extremely out of character now.  it’s weird, i feel like crying again. I invested so much time in this story and these characters with so little effort. Cus usually, writing my own stories, it takes effort to develop and build them. Here, all i had to do was make choices and kill the bad guys. And I don’t want to say goodbye even though i feel like there’s nothing more to add.

[og-my-borough-is-thorough-see]

Untitled, Unmastered

More than a common denominator

They can’t factor me out the equation.  

Born cold, in the city of thieves with no honor,

Given a rebirth, a new land becomes my encapsulation,

Institutionalized still won’t give me no more.  

Been living  trife, that illegal since a infant.  

Affiliations causing presumptions creating reputations.

Narratives painted, fact or fiction, either way  

It don’t matter in the public eye,

Guilty until proven innocent,

They never see you as innocent, even when the facts staring at them,

Complacent only if they get you, taboo Irregardless.

Don’t matter what you do, just who around you,

Friends or family,

It’s the ties that bind us and hang us from the same tree,

Tightening the deeper and older you grow till you take ya last breath,

Only if you let it.

Born into the business,  

What more can I want than a new chance,

The American Dream.  

Not for folks like me.  

Picket fence meant to be the docket keeping folks out,

Cutting us off but never uniting us,

You either a product or a variable of your environment

Stuck in poverty or a part of the billion-dollar slave system.  

Living on borrowed time, got to do more,

More to this life won’t find it stuck in they game  

Got to change, won’t have longevity being trife.  

Playing both sides of the fence through opaque lenses,

Movements surrounded in mist,

Morality all subjective if you ask me.  

A born sinner lookin for bliss.

Cut my losses, time to begin percolating wins

Came up different,

Last of a dying breed.

Greed ain’t posses me.

Ambition the clarity I found,

Hustle and to motivate is all I know.

Came up on a different plane than those I see on a daily basis.  

Food stamp only ramp that kept me from starvin,

Still the fact remains,

Only thing for sure lay in honor,

Living by the sword dying by the sword,

Death before dishonor.  

Take it in blood, we ain’ t come from much

We ain’t have but the clothes on our back,

Movin around tryin to find a foundation

Stuck in isolation in between the crowds,

Mental won’t give into their subliminal shots,

Never shoot straight at me, they minimal

Shook ones they ain’t no crooks son,

Always from the side out of view, they ain’t built for it.  

Cementing my lament  

Ask do they feel it,

Simply,

How can one be stable,

When everything around unstable,

When ya hunger pangs and all the pain keep you up nightly.  

Hoping for better days been past the river of Styx,

Deep in the levels this ain’t paradise this is hell,

The only thing I know in this divine comedy of life.

Ain’t no peace when you got to lease it,

Never find it, always at war with oneself,

Ain’t able to feel here, nor there,  

Only dreams keeping the breath going,

Seeing distant visions of a new life,

Hope the only thing keeping me sane through every dark night.  

Rebirth, the ill life shed behind that talk that a cocoon ain’t no other boon.  

A distant fruition, if dues don’t pay tuition,

From the school of hard knocks that make up my life.

All alone,  

Family ain’t family no more,

Blood ain’t blood no more,  

Got no shoulder to lean on but my own.  

Build or destroy,

The two paths, still ain’t done,

Vision only thing keeping me out of incarceration.  

Predicate felon in the melon,

No advocate a survivor by any means,

Never lean on none,

Been told by false prophets hyperbolic visions

That serve to reinforce the mass incarceration system

The oppresses my kinfolk in this nation,

That’s what they been telling me,

Trace it back to the days before I taught myself written words,

See look at my initials to check the credentials it was predestined before my birth,

Unintentional, look at the tools the fools gave me,  

Too blind to see the plot they just dots, no more no less,

Meant to write spoken word that would be the scripture to describe the raptures to come,

Revolutionary warfare it won’t be televised, that’s all distant,

For now,

Only one thing for certain,

Tomorrow isn’t promised.

There is more to this life,

Given the chance my children won’t know of me off spoken word,

Can’t let them have one foot in the grave off what they see.

In these tumultuous times have to be ambitious,  

It's simple, break it down to avoid message going into the void.

Every night leads to another day,

Another day another dollar,

Never had privilege had to make my leverage,

Applied pressure with my foot on their neck,

Fuck a slice I want the whole cake.

Taking back everything they stole from me,

Fighting to be more than a statistic,

Fight to live.

Living every day to the fullest,

Don’t matter if it’s my last.  

Ain't living in fear,  

What I reap, I will sow

Keeping the same mentality,

In the back of the mind it's still the same sentiment,

Seeing things from a different perspective, it’s an afflictive when they don’t get the feeling,

At peace with death, no longer scared to die

It’s a part of life,

Still it's not time, the sentiment off the placements in the mind through time.

See you go numb to the feeling over time,  

This ain’t thug life this survivor life,

The shit that calls for therapy we suppress where I’m from,

It ain’t spoken unless it’s a scream,  

Relived nightly in our dreams, that’s the only time we see gleams when we ain’t dying nightly,

Tell you the truth it goes back to the days as a youth,

Let me beg the question,

How you suppose to grow as a youth,

How you supposed to be more,

How can you grow,

How can you love,

When all you know is hatred.

Hatred for the knowledge that curses your mental,

Hatred for what you possess,

Mentally and physically.

Hatred for what you’ll can’t comprehend,

Hating no one understands  

Hating they can’t see you more than a thug or sap case.  

See they say that hood shit be that good shit,

Claim it make them diverse, that they understand the lexicon

They hide behind that privilege when they go home, they escape it,

Go home to the belly of the beast.

Looking for love from all sides.  

It ain’t surface layer, its deeper than that

When you get numb you feel nothing,

You lose love, you feel nothing but pain

Pain that poisons the heart

Pain becomes all you know.  

Rejection the only subjection I received.

Asked for guidance, same response,

You’ll make it hopefully,

That’s the next level, peers don’t see you as a person,

When they see you all they see is a primitive savage,  

Clutch they purse look straight ahead,

See the fear in the eyes and body we all the same to middle class,

Upper class use us as pawns,  

Rest never see us more than what media feeds them.  

Profane, vulgar, insanity what they paint on me.

No more than an abortion.

That’s what they see.

Always look away never acknowledge,

Won’t look into my eyes won’t see the soul.

It don’t matter,  

Had to switch up,  

From an orphanage that everyone is trying to escape from.

This mentality adopts us, and we foster it,

Not knowing any better,

Just knowing lesser.  

Solace in that piece, it won’t bring you much more than material,

Slinging rocks the only destiny in manifestation.  

Finding four fours in a pavilion trying to be a civilian.

Just a kid when I began to see the plot unravel,

How would I know everyone would do bids,

See everyone around me turn to feins,

Its in the vain different sides of the game I see the same.  

It’s in every neighborhood we in, do the math

Ain’t talking addition,

Schools don’t teach us that,  

Judges teach us that when they hand that sentence  

Geniuses with no muse,  

Hide that pain,

Self-medicate never mediate.

It’s all ends the same.

The routine funeral,

Routine to see another slain brother,

Routine to see another sister taken too soon.  

Routine to see folks disappear never to be seen again,

Routine to live in fear.

Coming from a place where no one makes it major

All my homies either dead, in jail, or stuck in the cycle,

Living dead the surface don’t tell,

Look deep into the eyes they don’t lie.

The body won’t live long once the mind gone, it’s all connected

Don't matter when the soul caged up,

The caged bird Angelou told the ode of,

We ain’t given shot to expand our thoughts, die for a little bit of clout,

End up blowing over as quick as you came up,

The target on the back remain the same at birth,

Too blind to see it.  

Don’t matter age of location, ain’t a thing change upon income.

Regardless of outcome,

We all was born in the same place, same opportunity

Only one left, ask me why all the views I see filled with blues,

Failure the only time you make it major on the news.  

They call us rapists and drug dealers, they hate us but never know us,

It’s generational but I can see far past and see the pawns at use by the dons,

They want to see us bleed, it's all a product of greed.  

What can I say,

When they see us for sacrificial lambs to try and get the glory days they ain't never had.

Fuck them, they fools to hustle a buck out of,

Blood in my eye still don’t cloud my sight,

My plight realer than anything they ever been through.

The guillotine what they plant for us.  

First generation with no role models  

Surrounded by the blind, cursed with sight.

Seeing more to this plain, they ain't with it

Go against the grain that’s ya head on a silver platter

Born with no silver spoon,  

Came from the mud in the trenches, one thing for sure,

only promise lie in your brain matter painting the canvass,

be another decapitation.  

Final hours marked by folk lure,

The war stories of anyone stuck in the tar.

The only way to grow is finding a new flow

That’s the only way to blow through the legal, it's all another hustle,

Ain’t another variable, my life ain’t expandable like they say.  

Another lost soul trapped in a cycle.  

They say,

Divine intervention only reason I'm still breathing,

From being another remnant forgotten in time painting the cement with redrum

A relic in a era where everyone want to be basic,

Living in the moment never looking ahead,

Everyone want to earn soon that’s the error,

Look in they mirror they don’t see into the soul.

No sound one just a survivor.  

It gets harder to move on when you switch gears,  

They fear you when you awaken,

Rather see you dead then see you bloom.

They don’t love you when you rise above them

Cold hard facts.  

They ain’t never believe I was more than another one,

They told me I wouldn’t live to see eighteen

Sixteen school told me only e-d-u would be from a g-e-d,

Spoon fed me lies, telling don’t try it,

It ain’t for folks like you, since day one.

Spat in my face telling me it’s a rain drops, get use to the bottom.

Ain’t believe the lies the devils fed.

Rejected what they try and subject me with.

Grew stronger by the day,

They told me I wouldn’t be shit,

Family from distant to the one that gave birth,

It wasn’t just them folks up at the top,

People here and there it don’t matter, only care about me and mine,

I’m selfish fuck who I offend.

They ain’t believe till I made something out of nothing,

Ain’t gonna be in the mud with filthy human swine.

The bottom always crowded, theres space at the top,

Just gotta pave my own lane up there,

They can never feel my pain,

Don’t matter how, gonna get my forty acres,

Ancestors came from shackles, I won’t buckle under their ruse,

The pain is my muse.

Keep it under the surface, they can’t see the truth,  

See they still think I’m crazy,

That’s what the world say, that’s hearsay,

Telling me my fate was in a six by nine cage.

They never believed it me but what does that matter?

They inadmissible, my peace ain’t expandable,

Ain't no subject, don’t listen to the fronts.

Look at it one way.  

I’m still here.  

I still got breath in my lungs.  

I still got drive.  

Not a Don just another saying my word is born,

Fuck all that talk, talkings cheap,

Move in my actions,

It ain’t all surface level, check how do they right by you,

Tell the whole truth,

They try and take my life, rob me of my shots

Split my melon, when I was four

Got up, got them stitches

Stabbed me when I was thirteen

Tended to my own wounds ain’t no one come help me.  

Beaten and battered till green and purple covered me,

Death threats a regular occurrence, they words have no meaning.

A crash ain’t stop me, three weeks off end of first week of uni,

It ain’t take me out

All the pain caused growth,

Destroyed tolerance,

Ain’t sweating defenses no more,

Shoot first, stay offensive to them.

Got back up through every fall and set back.  

Misery built me.

Gave me a foundation nothing can break,  

The child I was,  

Made me into the man I am today.

Here I stand at the crossroads  

Not knowing what's to come

They gonna have to kill me to silence me

It’s bigger than me,

These moves bigger than any picture I can paint.  

Talking that empire, talking that generational wealth,  

Power moves I can’t lose,

I came here with nothing,

Came as an infant on the verge of losing my life,

No nutrition brought me back,

Strength and will, they can’t stop me

Built my strength through tolerance,

Physical, mental, the layers there,

It’s Time

Time to build a new life,  

Time to build a real life.

Got to build a foundation for the future,

Ain’t no fates or destinies,

I’m making one.

Will go the distance.  

What more can I say,

Got to take a virtue,

Know who I am, Know who I will be.

Maybe I’m crazy, Maybe I’m the one to make the changes,

Maybe the one to spark the mind that makes changes,

Only one thing for sure,

Got

One life,

More than that,

Got one last chance.

One chance at redemption.