#All made very possible by the data I gathered there.

[mae-lou-ron]

For Granted

Summary: Your beloved Gregor returns from a weeks-long mission for the clone underground, and after a long night filled with debriefings, he can’t wait to show you just how much he missed you while he was gone.

Pairing: Captain Gregor x f!reader

Warnings: 🚨 NSFW - SMUT AHEAD 🚨, 18+ MDNI, explicit sexual content and language, established relationship, mutual pining, cockwarming, unprotected PiV, edging, delayed orgasm, praise, soft!Dom Gregor, pleasure!dom Gregor?, oodles of fluff, Gregor can't keep his eyes (or hands) off you, color system safe words (only green used), aftercare, this is what I call a plot/smut/plot sandwich.

Word Count: 4,700

A/N: GOBBLE GOBBLE GREGOR GIRLIES. Happy to report I am posting this way earlier than I thought would be possible. (I finally did it @jetii, @captn-trex @lonewolflupe— again thank you for your constant inspiration and encouragement) This is the first smut I’ve ever posted and I guess decided to just go for it. I don’t know what to tell you, I just feel like Gregor would be such a soft and needy little pleasure dom. Okay, bone apple tea my fellow feral goblins. DO NOT PERCEIVE ME.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late—very late.

The away team shuttle had touched down hours ago, but before you could greet Gregor properly, Rex had swooped in and intercepted him before he even made it down the gangplank. Their mission to the ruins of Tipoca City had proven successful, and Rex wanted to know everything.

For nearly two weeks, they dove beneath the old cloning facility's wreckage, searching the depths for anything that survived the orbital bombardment—especially for anything that could help them better understand the inhibitor chips. As you observed him from across the holotable, you noted the exhaustion that marked your beloved's features. His bloodshot eyes had dark circles beneath them, and though he tried his best to stay alert and focused, the weariness was clearly setting in. Yet, despite his current state, Gregor's gaze kept finding its way back to you, his lips curving into a small smile whenever your eyes met.

You listened and updated the data banks while Rex thoroughly questioned Gregor and his team about their operation. When Rex was finally satisfied with what was recovered, the meeting adjourned. As you gathered your things, you couldn’t help but steal glances at Gregor, hoping this was finally the moment for your long-awaited reunion—but he remained deep in conversation with Rex, their heads bent together. You sighed inwardly but couldn't help glowing with admiration for him.

He was probably the most lighthearted of his brothers, but Gregor showed unwavering dedication to his work—particularly when it involved Rex. After all, Rex had orchestrated Gregor's rescue from the Empire by sending the Bad Batch to extract him, saving Gregor from the Empire's grim plans for clone troopers like himself.

Rex's relentless pursuit to understand and neutralize the inhibitor chips strengthened Gregor's dedication to the mission. For Gregor, helping Rex wasn't just about loyalty—it was about preventing other clones from enduring the same fate. This devotion extended to everyone Gregor held dear, including you. He had become not only your lover but your best friend and closest ally in the growing clone rebellion. You had become one of the few anchors in each other’s lives that had been plagued with uncertainty.

From your first meeting, you were irresistibly drawn to him—and he made no effort to hide his magnetic attraction to you. Even now, his keen eyes would seek you out first whenever he entered a room. True to form, Gregor's gaze shifted to you over Rex's shoulder again, silently expressing his longing to be near you after so many days apart. You caught his eye and flashed a playful smirk, pressing a fingertip to your lips before extending it toward him. He would always wink in return. Though your relationship was no longer a secret, you both treasured this little ritual—a wordless exchange of adoration between the two of you.

Back in your quarters, you changed into your sleep clothes and settled into bed. Propped against pillows with your data pad in hand, you intended to review the new data decryptions while waiting for Gregor's return, hoping he might have more enticing ways to keep you awake. But the warmth of your bed and the quiet hum of recycled air lulled you to sleep with surprising swiftness. Your eyes grew heavy, thoughts of him blurred behind your lids until you drifted off.

A short while later, you stirred from a light sleep when you felt the bed dip. With gentle hands, Gregor retrieved your fallen data pad and slid under the covers behind you. His strong arms enveloped you, drawing you against his chest.

"Stars, I've missed you, my darling," Gregor sighed into the space between you. Your eyes fluttered open as his lips pressed into the back of your shoulder, sending a thrill down your spine.

The familiar spicy scent of him filled your nose—he must have hit the fresher before coming to bed. You hummed contentedly and turned within his arms to face him, your lips curling into a sleepy smile. "Missed you too," you murmured.

Gregor's tired eyes were filled with warmth and adoration in the dim light. His hand gently cupped your cheek, thumb brushing over your skin. "Sorry I'm late..."

"S'okay," you leaned into his touch. "You're here now, and at least I know you're not just another dream," you said into his chest as you yawned.

Gregor's heart thrummed at your words. The thought of you dreaming about him stoked the ever-present desire he seemed to hold for you. "How's the burn?" he asked instead, softly moving his hand down, fingertips skimming over the fresh scars on your hip.

"All healed now. Rex was right, of course," you grumbled. The former captain had benched you from field work due to the blaster fire that grazed you on your last mission. Though you'd insisted it was healed enough, Rex wouldn't budge. You knew he was right, but being sidelined grated your nerves— especially since it was your intel they were operating on.

"You really scared me for a minute there, you know," Gregor whispered, his voice lilted with emotion as his fingers traced the newly healed scar.

You kissed the tip of his nose and gave him a knowing smile. "You should know better than anyone, love. It takes more than that to keep someone down," you murmured, covering his hand with your fingertips. A pitchy chuckle escaped him as he pressed his forehead to yours, recognizing the echo of his own resilient spirit in your words. But his face fell incrementally as he found his next words.

"I still wish you could have been there, on Kamino," he confessed, his voice solemn. He didn’t have to say anything, but you knew how strange returning to Kamino was going to be for him. He had his brothers with him, but you’d hoped to be there for him too.

"You just wanted a chance to see me in my swimming gear," you quipped instead.

Gregor's eyes sparkled as he leaned in closer, his lips brushing the corner of your mouth with a quiet rumble. "Can you blame me? Thinking of you in any state of undress was all I had to keep me sane out there," his words and lips danced against your cheek.

You squirmed in his embrace as his hand trailed up and down your body, fingertips once again sweeping over the swell of your hip. "But I always love seeing my cyare like this…" he added, his warm hand giving you a playful squeeze, referring to the teeny tiny shorts you often wore around your shared quarters, just for him.

“Oh? And why is that?” You said with a raised eyebrow, feigning ignorance at how his eyes would habitually follow you around whenever you wore them. Not to mention the mischief he would promise when he saw you wearing any of his clothing, and tonight you had grabbed one of his shirts to sleep in.

“Because it’s what you’re comfortable in,” he sighed contentedly as his fingers slipped under the hem, grazing the soft skin at the small of your back.

Being under his focus with such reverence made your heart pound in your ears, his magnetic touch constantly drawing you in. Your fingers traced the line of his jaw. "Will you just kiss me, already?" you whispered, forgetting your teasing.

Gregor hummed as his lips met yours, sweet and gentle, his hands rediscovering every curve and contour. You melted into his radiating warmth, the steady rhythm of his heart. When you nibbled his bottom lip, it earned you a deep moan and a roll of his body against yours. Your fingers wove through his damp hair, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened, his tongue moving softly against yours.

Your lips danced together in a sensual rhythm, exploring and tasting with unhurried devotion as his fingers threaded through your hair, cradling the back of your head. Each sweep of his tongue against yours sent shivers down your spine, the kiss deepening with an intensity that made your toes curl and your heart race. Through every tender touch, he conveyed how deeply he'd missed you, and a familiar heat had bloomed between you fueled by days of delayed desire. The warmth of it coursed through your veins, spurring you on.

Eager to feel his skin against yours, you tugged off your shirt and pushed at his. Gregor chuckled softly and obliged, pulling off his shirt with deliberate slowness before tossing it aside. Under your fingertips, his body felt electric as you traced the familiar scars adorning his soft, golden skin. A shiver ran through him at your touch, and he groaned when your lips found his shoulder.

"Darling, I need you…" he purred, his thumbs hooking into the waistband of your shorts. His voice dropped lower, thick with desire. He paused, eyes intense and yearning as they locked with yours. "I've thought of you every night. Your kiss, your smile, the sounds you make for me." His fingers gripped your hips possessively, sure to leave marks. "Tell me, meshla," he breathed. "Did you think of me too?"

You let out a soft whine, your head falling against his chest as a breathy "Yes," escaped your swollen lips.

"Tell me..." he implored, his body rolling into yours once more. "Did I hear you say you dreamt of me?"

"Of course I did," you confessed softly, leaning close. Your lips brushed against the shell of his ear as intimate desires and details of your self-indulgent dreams tumbled from your lips. Gregor shivered, your warm breath tickling his skin. His fingers flexed as he strained to catch every hushed syllable. These whispered words were for him alone.

His chest rumbled with a deep, guttural sound. "Cyare," he whispered, the word dripping with honey.

You lifted your hips as he slid your shorts down your legs. Once free, he swooped in to kiss you again, this time with more fervor as his hands roamed your newly exposed skin. He swallowed the soft gasp that escaped your lips when his fingers dipped between your legs, growling appreciatively at how ready you were for him.

You whined at his touch, your fingertips curling around the base of his neck. Gregor sighed, his breath hot against your shoulder as he trailed kisses down to your collarbone. You heard him chuckling quietly as his fingers teased your sensitive flesh. "…and I’ve barely touched you yet,” he teased.

You huffed in response and started pushing his shorts over his hips, firmly grasping a handful of his taught backside in the process causing him to hoot and giggle softly. "I told you what I’ve been thinking about… come here…" you begged, your voice barely above a whisper. Once free of his own clothing, you hooked your leg around his waist, drawing him to you. Gregor hissed at the contact, his hips instinctively rocking against yours. You felt the head of his length glide along your entrance and up to your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure straight to your core.

Gregor let out a deep hum, gathering his self control. "I can't say no to you," he grunted, slowly sliding his length back up and down a few times before notching at your entrance. His lips met your forehead as he eased into you. You bit your lip as your body welcomed him, eyebrows furrowing at the sudden fullness. Despite the delicious sting of him at first, you craved him—eager for more, for all of him. But Gregor picked up on your body’s signal and paused. His head came back to regard you, eyes filled with concern and love.

"Cyar'ika," he whispered tenderly. His thumb traced your cheek and trailed down to your lips. You smirked, drawing the digit into your mouth with a soft moan, swirling your tongue around it. Gregor's eyes locked onto yours, awestruck at the sensation. "That's it…good girl," he purred, the wolfish smile that followed his praise sent a shiver down your spine. He withdrew his thumb from your mouth with a quiet pop, and brought it between your bodies, using the wetness to circle your clit.

Your body quivered, soft moans and whimpers escaping your lips as he continued his feather light touches, sending more of that delicious heat coursing through you. Your walls fluttered with pleasure, silently urging him to fully sheath himself within you. As his hips finally met yours, you both exhaled deeply, savoring the intense connection of being completely joined together.

"Let’s stay like this for a little while, hm?," he murmured against your hairline between soft kisses. "I just want you close," he breathed, his hand trailing tenderly along your spine.

You hummed in confirmation, melting into his affection. "I love you," you sighed, fingers combing through his hair. Your bodies fit together perfectly, hearts beating as one, breaths mingling in gentle pants. Being with Gregor, it never felt like enough—you both craved an impossible closeness. These tender moments were precious, when he held you like this, driven by his pure need to feel you around him, to eliminate any space between you.

"And I love you." Gregor's kiss was so tender it made your head swim. His lips traced reverently across your skin, each caress a silent vow, his heart full at how perfectly you melded together. When the kisses and touches naturally grew more heated, you felt him stir within you as your bodies instinctively began to move. With gentle purpose, Gregor rolled you, pressing your back into the mattress and caging you in with his large frame. His lips found that spot on your neck as he began a slow, intense rhythm that drew a litany of soft moans and whimpers from you. Your nails trailed down Gregor's back as he pressed against that sweet spot deep inside you. He dragged his length almost completely out before thrusting back in, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

"Stars… cyar’ika, you…" he panted, his movements becoming more deliberate. You wrapped your legs around him fully, urging him deeper, whimpering in is ear to do it again. The tension between you reached its peak all too quickly, weeks of anticipation setting your every nerve ending on fire. Gregor murmured sweet praises against your skin, intent on bringing you there together. You teetered on the edge, your body trembling with each slow thrust. "Gregor," you breathed in a desperate plea. "I'm..."

“I know,” he grunted. “I’ve got you…” He gentled his movements to a pace he knew would send you over. He felt your entire body tense, arching into him as your climax struck you with a sudden intensity. A shuddering moan escaped you as your hand in his hair tightened, tugging at the strands. He couldn't hold back any longer—the way your walls fluttered around him, squeezing him so tightly, your grip in his hair, the sounds you were making—it was all too much, and he gladly fell over the edge with you.

His hips jerked as he moaned your name, pressing flush against yours as he found his release inside you. You held him close while you both trembled and panted through waves of pleasure. His hips rolled gently against yours through the aftershocks. As the hazy bliss settled over you both, Gregor began dotting your face and neck with tender kisses.

“Gregor…” you protested lazily, lips curling in a fond smile. He always melted into his softest self in the afterglow.

He chuckled quietly, nuzzling your neck. "What? You know I can’t ever get enough of you…" His lips brushed against your skin, making you tremble slightly. You were grinning ear to ear now, despite your half-hearted protest.

“That makes two of us,” you said huskily, floating down from your high.

You lay tangled together in peaceful silence, your breathing and heartbeats gradually returning to normal. The gentle rise and fall of his chest against yours created a soothing rhythm that made you feel completely at ease. A while later, when your combined arousal began to slip down your thigh, Gregor shifted, preparing to retrieve something to clean you both up.

“Don't you dare," you warned teasingly, tightening your entire body around him, making his breath hitch.

“Cyar’ika…” he said in a low, playful voice, twitching inside you. “Careful now…”

You smirked, loving the way his voice dropped an octave. "Or what?" you challenged, your eyes gleaming with mischief.

Gregor chuckled, a predatory grin spreading across his face. "Oh, my darling," he chuckled lightly, his hand sliding down your body and gripping your ass, making you burst into giggles, "You love playing with fire, don’t you,"

"Mmm, I do when it encourages you to ravish me all night, love," you said with a dramatic flair, unable to hide the mirth from your voice, reminding you of the intimacy you’ve built with Gregor. It was fiery and magnetic, but always fun. You loved to push each other’s buttons to see how far you could go. After all, you cherished these quiet moments together when there was no need to rush.

Gregor groaned at your words, his grip on you intensifying. "Oh, you're in for it now," he rasped as he swiftly rolled onto his back, pulling you over with him to straddle his hips. He sat upright and curled his hand around the base of your neck, pulling you into a searing kiss. The sound that escaped you at this new angle was absolutely sinful, making him twitch inside you once again. He immediately began a gentle pace, guiding your hips into his shallow thrusts. You gripped his shoulders tightly, seeking an anchor amid the electricity firing deep within you. Your oversensitive bundle of nerves dragged against the base of his length, making you grind down on him more desperately.

Sensing your growing urgency, Gregor gently slowed your movements. His hands caressed your sides soothingly as he looked up at you with adoration. "Shhh cyar'ika, look at me…" he murmured, his voice low and tender. Your eyes fluttered open to gaze into his, dark and warm and focused on you. "I know, it feels so good." His voice strained, thumbs traced circles on your hips as he guided you back into that slower, more deliberate rhythm Gregor loved to torture you with. You whimpered at the change of pace, but soon found yourself melting into the languid, sensual motion. Gregor's eyes never left your face, enjoying watching you give in. "That's it, just feel," he whispered. "There’s no rush. I’ve got you…"

Gregor's movements periodically slowed to a halt, prolonging the intense pleasure building between you. Each time, he held you close, guiding you both toward that long-awaited peak. His arm snaked beneath you, holding you to him with effortless strength, preventing you from taking him completely. He knew exactly how much to give, bringing you to the edge over and over. He savored the sounds you made during the slow, frustrating dance, careful not to overstimulate as he kept you balanced on the edge of a knife.

Your body trembled, every nerve ending alive and hypersensitive, your breaths came in short, desperate moans. You clung to him, nails digging into his back and his scalp as you fought against the overwhelming urge to let go, somewhere between savoring every exquisite moment of him inside you and every cell in your body screaming for release. Gregor felt your body go rigid and quiver, he glanced down noticing how tightly your toes were curled, then up to your eyes squeezed shut in concentration.

"Cyar'ika, what's your color?" he managed to say through the haze. He himself was hanging by a thread.

"Green," you groaned gently. "Please, I need..."

Gregor's eyes snapped open at your words, his grip on you stuttering. "Tell me what you need," he nearly growled. "I need to hear you say it, cyar'ika."

“Please...” you breathed. “I need to come."

With a low groan of approval, Gregor knew he’d pushed you to a new limit, and captured your lips in a soft kiss, slowly lowering you down fully onto his length once more. "Then come for me, my love, let go…" he murmured against your lips as he loosened his hold on you incrementally, encouraging you to writhe against him at your own pace. He swallowed the moans that escaped your throat as you did so, your fingers tangling in his hair again as you finally let yourself go.

He held you to him as your body shook, waves of ecstasy sweeping through you, your inner walls pulsing wildly around Gregor's length. He buried his face in your shoulder, his own climax following yours as he thrust himself deep inside with a low, guttural sound. You clung to each other, riding out the lingering tremors, your core gradually relaxing its grip on him. Hearts raced and chests heaved as you both savored the moment. With one more gentle rock of his hips, he pulled you down, creating a delicious pressure that sent one final, intense ripple of pleasure coursing through you, reducing whatever composure you had left and turning you into a whimpering mess.

“Thats it,” he soothed as you collapsed against him, head lolling forward as he secured you against his broad chest. You hummed contentedly, nuzzling into the crook of his neck as your breathing slowly steadied. Gregor's fingers continued their gentle caress along your skin, calming your tense muscles and fluttering heart.

“You did so well,” he praised. “We haven’t gone that long before,” he grinned at you, giggling softly, a sheen of sweat on his skin.

You chuckled softly, feeling an ache in your hips and knees. "Mmm, I think we both needed that," you murmured, wincing slightly as you shifted your legs around his frame.

“Here, I’ve got you,” he pressed a chaste kiss to your lips as he helped you shift positions, knowing your joints sometimes didn’t love it as much as you did.

His strong arms cradled you as he maneuvered you off him, finally slipping out and eliciting a soft sigh from you. He bit his lip, barely suppressing a groan as he glanced at the evidence of your passion. Once you were settled, he quickly jumped out of bed and disappeared into the fresher, returning moments later with a warm cloth.

His fingertips trailed up the outside of your knee, reminding you he was still there. You smiled and opened up for him to gently clean you up. His touch was tender as he took care of both of you. Once finished, he tossed the towel aside and crawled back onto the bed and got to work on massaging the soreness from your legs.

You sighed contentedly as Gregor's skilled hands worked out the tension in your joints. "You're too good to me," you murmured sleepily. He responded with a soft chuckle, his touch gentle yet firm as he eased away any lingering discomfort. “Love, I know you’re exhausted, come here…”

He chuckled and planted tender kisses on each knee before settling beside you, drawing you close against his chest. You nestled into his warmth, savoring the lazy patterns he traced on your back with his fingertips.

You tilted your head up to press a gentle kiss beneath his chin, savoring the closeness. “I’m so happy you’re home…”

Gregor sighed contentedly. “Me too.”

You hesitated for a moment, unsure if you should bring up his time on Kamino. The topic always felt delicate, and you didn't want to stir up difficult memories. But his peaceful expression gave you courage.

“How was it being back there?" you asked softly.

“Well, the first few days were…strange, but not in the way I thought they would be,” he confessed quietly.

“How so?” You pressed a chaste kiss to the side of his neck, absentmindedly inhaling his scent.

“Some clones considered Kamino their home, but I’ve never really felt more at home than I do here. With the underground. With you.” His voice stuttered on the last few words.

You felt your heart swell, and you pulled him closer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Good, because I feel the same way…”

Gregor's arm tightened around you, and you felt him release another contented sigh against your hair. In this moment, everything felt exactly as it should be - no missions, no war, just the two of you finding solace in each other's arms. You held one another close, happy to be back in one another’s orbit.

"Darling..." Gregor's voice took on a somber tone as he tightened his arms around you. "I received new orders from Rex tonight." He paused as you tilted your head back to look at him, his expression serious. You felt your body tense, preparing for the worst. "And, well, it’s not just that," he continued, his lips curving into a frown.

“What is it?” your hand brushed his disheveled hair out of his eyes, your heart clenching at the thought of him being gone again so soon, without you. Rex had yet to clear you for your injury, and you felt your stomach drop at the thought of being left behind on base again for another mission.

Gregor took a deep breath, as if to steady himself. "I know it's short notice, but... I told Rex you’d have no problem shipping out by midday tomorrow..." He gazed at you intently, his trademark mischievous smirk betraying his attempt at a somber expression. He was a terrible liar.

Your eyebrows shot up at the realization.

Now his face was in a full grin. "Mhm...you’re coming with." He quipped. “Though I’m sure Rex wouldn’t mind if you wanted to stay behi—”

“No!” you trilled, propping yourself up onto your elbow. “I’m ready,” you insisted.

“You don’t even know what the mission is yet, love,” he chuckled, it was hard to resist mirroring your excitement.

“I don’t care,” you sighed. “I’ve been cooped up…it’s boring when everyone is gone,” you groaned.

“Don’t you mean it’s boring when I’m gone?” Gregor teased.

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't hide your smile. "Maybe," you admitted, snuggling back into him. "But don't let it go to your head." Your fingers traced lazy patterns on his chest as you soaked up the warmth of his presence, grateful to soon be back to doing what you do best.

Gregor laughed softly, his chest rumbling beneath your fingertips. "Have we met?," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. As you lay there, wrapped in each other's embrace, a sleepy silence settled over you both. The anticipation of being briefed for tomorrow's mission hummed just beneath the surface, but for now, you were content to simply exist in this moment.

“You’re a terrible liar, by the way…” you said as you curled into him. He just chuckled softly as you let your eyes close, feeling the tendrils of sleep start to curl around you.

Soon, the familiar weight of Gregor's body and gentle rhythm of his breathing lulled you into a peaceful state. His fingers continued their soothing caress along your back, growing slower and more languid as sleep began to claim him too. The last thing you remembered before surrendering was the gentle press of Gregor's lips against your forehead and his whispered "Ner cyare..." You mumbled a sleepy response, already half-lost to dreams of tomorrow's adventures.

[edwardos]

[jewishrizahawkeye]

k so i made this poll awhile ago to answer my question on if people would rather spend a date with a swiftie or an anti-swiftie (someone who hates her and devotes their life to hating on her). i mentioned i didn’t have the spoons to handle it being longer than a day and know it was going to be biased as it would start in my circle and would work it’s way out, so i wanted to do a longer poll when i had the energy to handle a week long poll like that. (i’m assuming when i post this, as i’m pre making it, i’ll be in recovery from my nose surgery since i’ll be stuck at home a week so i’ll have more time to monitor and look at the tags)

so nows the time, but i’m going to addendum the question a bit:

*some extra things that came up on the original poll i didn’t elaborate on fully that i want to make clear:

- you don’t get a say in what type of swiftie you get. assume that you’re going to be spending the evening with someone who massively loves her and her music and wants to discuss it. they’ll talk about songs, their favorite lines and meanings, symbolism behind the reputation album, etc.

- YOU MUST TALK ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT. even if it’s the anti-swiftie you must talk about her. i understand the sentiment people made on her not coming up, and that’s valid, but that’s not the question i’m asking. YOU HAVE TO SPEND THE EVENING WITH SOMEONE WHOS GOING TO TALK ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT NONSTOP, WILL IT BE THE LOVER OR HATER?

- im just trying to gather a general consensus on this and want to get data from a lot of people which means this is going to end up on people’s blogs who probably hate swifties and are annoyed by them. that’s okay as that’s the point of my question. but if you’re going to go off in the tags about how much you hate her or hate swifties and be an asshole about it im blocking you. you can just simple say “i hate her/i hate swifties” and don’t need to elaborate. you don’t need to sit in the tags going off on how much you hate her and trying to “defend” yourself from swifties. i just want an answer to the question.

- ALSO, this is not an open poll to go harass anyone in general. if you are a swiftie and see an hater in the tags and wanna fight DON’T FUCKING DO IT. just block and go read/watch your favorite media and think of blorbos kissing or whatever, but DO NOT SEND HATE OR HARASS ANYONE.

the hypothesis im trying to prove is that people in general would much rather spend an evening with someone that is going to talk about something they love all night vs someone who will spend the evening talking about something they hate. i want to gather as much data as possible to get a good consensus and if you go and be an asshole to someone because of their tags on this poll, either side of the swiftie to anti-swiftie spectrum, your disproving the point. if you see tags you don’t like just simply block and carry on. understand? k good.

- in general this is not meant to be a very serious or heavy question. it’s meant to just let me pick people’s brains and see what they’d want to do. i just want to get my results and go. just vote, drop your opinion in the tags, and go.

- also, this last part is silly and not at all related to my data, but since i’m forcing you on a dinner date i’ll at least let you pick the restaurant and food you have. so if you could also say what restaurant/food choice you’d want and what you’d want to order i’d love to hear it. sky’s the limit here. go nutz or even very specific on what you’d want to eat. i am trying to learn to cook and don’t know a lot of recipes or different food types, so i’m hoping this will give me a bigger idea of what food is out there to make. (this question is not meant to be a way to stick it to anyone or for you to go “i’ll go to a shitty ass restaurant and take a swiftie/anti-swiftie and make them eat garbage 🤪”, it’s just a fun question to give people something positive to add to the poll if they want. AGAIN IF YOUR GOING TO BE AN ASSHOLE ILL BLOCK YOU.)

- i’m going to be annoying and ask that you reblog for a wider sample size and such, if you don’t want to that’s fine, but i’m going to be polite and ask you nicely.

that should be everything, thank you for reading my long ass list and voting in this poll. i hope you have a good day and such.

[zoloteh-volossya]

BG3 Fanfiction Statistics, Part 1

I’ve seen some discussions of BG3 fandom trends floating around tumblr that spoke from experience but lacked hard data to refer to. As a fan of Baldur’s Gate 3, fanfiction, and graphs, I therefore thought it would be neat and illustrative to go through AO3 and document some of the statistics this fandom.

I did a similar exercise back in January and posted the results here. However, I was a bit unhappy with this analysis – it was missing some data that I consider to be relevant, I didn’t end up discussing the results much, and I only posted it to reddit. Most discussions for the creative side of fandom seem to happen on tumblr, so I made this account to post it here.

I will try and be as transparent as possible when discussing how I obtained and processed this data. A copy of my spreadsheet can be found here and contains all of the data I will be discussing. Most of the data I feature in this essay will be presented as graphs. Below each graph I will discuss the patterns shown in the graph and provide what I believe to be some relevant and/or interesting number values. If you want to see all the numbers, please refer to my spreadsheet. If you don’t care about the numbers and/or my thoughts about them, feel free to skim through and just look at the charts!

A note before I start – I gathered this data between July 21, 2024 and July 24, 2024. It is out of date as of my writing this and will be even more out of date by the time you read it. However, I believe the general fandom trends will hold up over time – the same patterns that I observed in January are largely still present in July.

Due to the tumblr post image limit and my preponderance of graphs, I will be breaking this behemoth of an essay into two parts:

General Fandom Statistics, the Player Character, and the Women

The Men, a Character Comparison, and a Pairing Analysis

We are currently in part 1. Part 2 can be found at this link. The rest of part 1 is below the read more because this is very long.

GENERAL FANDOM STATS

This information was found by looking at the side bar when browsing Baldur’s Gate fics. Therefore, this data set includes fics from the previous two Baldur’s Gate games. However, given that the games were released in 1998 and 2000, respectively, most of the fanfiction for them was likely posted to FF.net and the error from including what little fic for them was posted to AO3 is likely small.

At the time of my data gathering, there were 31,043 Baldur’s Gate fics on AO3.

RATINGS

To the surprise of nobody in the BG3 fandom, Explicit fic is the largest category, at 38% of all fics produced. It’s followed by Mature (24%), Teen and Up (20%), General (12%) and Not Rated (6%). Not all of the Explicit and Mature fics are necessarily horny – those warnings also apply to extreme violence (hello, Dark Urge). But let’s be real, most of them are tagged that way for sex.

WARNINGS

Speaking of extreme violence, let’s take a look at the warnings used for fics in this fandom.

Just about half (50.2%) of BG fics have no warnings at all. About 17.6% have warnings for graphic depictions of violence – lower than I would have expected, honestly, for a video game that features as much murder as this one does (at least, how I play it...). About 5.4% of fics feature a warning for rape, 4.7% feature major character death, and 0.5% feature underage sex.

CATEGORIES

AO3 allows users to select any categories from a list of possible options (F/M, M/M, F/F, Gen, Other, and Multi). F/M, M/M, and F/F are pretty self explanatory, Gen fics don’t focus on a relationship, Multi fics focus on a relationship between three or more people, and Other is a catch all for fics that don’t fit into any of the previous categories very well. For shipping with nonbinary (NB) characters, I have seen a variety of approaches. Some people select the category closest to the NB character’s presentation, some select multiple categories, and some select Other.

One very useful tool that I will be introducing here is the use of “otp:true.” When “otp:true” is entered into the “Search within results” bar while filtering tags, AO3 will only return fics that have just one pairing tagged. This filters out all fics that have background pairings or multiple focus pairings. Results with “otp:true” are typically solely focused on that particular pairing.

With all that explanation out of the way, the results:

We can clearly see that the most common category for Baldur’s Gate fics is M/F, with 43.3% of all fics featuring a M/F pairing. 36.4% of all fics feature a M/M pairing, 10.6% feature a F/F pairing, 11.7% are more General, 8.0% feature Multiple people in a pairing, and 10.9% are Other. These percentages add up to more than 100% because a fic can be tagged with multiple categories.

Things change a bit when you filter for “otp:true” and only include fics that focus on just one pairing. In this case, M/M predominates, with a whopping 46.0% of fics. M/F follows with 31.2%, F/F with 11.1%, 7.7% are General, 9.7% are Other, and 3.0% are still tagged as Multi (presumably for fics where the only pairing is a threesome or such).

CHARACTERS

As a last look at more general content before I begin a deep dive into looking at the various characters, I took a look at the 30 most popular character tags.

This was a surprise to me the first time I looked at it in January. In the previous two video game fandoms I was in that had a player character (Mass Effect and Fire Emblem: Three Houses), the player character was the most popular character tag in that fandom. In this case, though, Astarion has the most fics that feature him, and by a pretty significant margin (~5,000 more fics than Tav). He appears in 63.0% of fics. Tav is next, at 46.7% of fics. Then we have the rest of the six Origin characters: Gale (34.5% of fics), Shadowheart (23.7%), Karlach (20.5%), Wyll (18.6%), and Lae’zel (15.9%), as well as Halsin (15.8%) and the Dark Urge (15.3%). That they all are next to each other makes sense, as fics that focus on one character or pairing will often tag the entire ensemble. Lae’zel only showing up 16% of the time seems low, though, for a member of the main cast. To me, this indicates that not many fics are true ensemble fics that include all of the main cast.

After this block of main characters, we drop a bit to Gortash, who shows up in 7.4% of fics. He’s the most popular villain by far, followed by Cazador (4.7%) and Raphael (4.6%). Orin only shows up in 2.9% of fics and Ketheric is featured in only 1.1% of fics.

Jaheira shows up in 4.4% of fics, but her values may include fics from the earlier Baldur’s Gate games. Poor Minthara is the 16th most tagged character and only shows up in 2.5% of fics. Rolan (a tiefling NPC) shows up in more fics than she does.

Despite being featured in previous Baldur’s Gate game fics as well as BG3, Minsc does not seem popular – he’s #25, being tagged in 1.3% of fics.

One thing I did note was the comparative lack of focus on the overarching plot of the game in BG3 fics. I’ll use the Emperor as a barometer for this, as it’s inextricably interwoven into everything having to do with the Absolute, the mysterious artifact, and our protagonists’ immunity to it. Yet, it only appears in 535 fics of over 31,000 – approximately 1.7% of all BG fics. This tells me that there isn’t much engagement with the actual illithid plot of the game in most fics – at least not to the extent where major plot relevant characters are being tagged.

CHARACTER PAIRING STATISTICS

Most of my time for this analysis was spent collecting data for the various pairing tags. I went through the top 300 pairing tags by order of popularity (ending with Mystra/Cazador, of all things) and recorded how many fics each rating had and how many fics each category had both with and without “otp:true” applied. Coincidentally, this included all the pairings with 5 or more fics in them at the time – by sheer luck the 301st pairing tag had only 4 fics. I judged that I could ignore pairing tags with fewer than 5 fics without affecting the results of my analyses too much (also it had taken 4 days to get this far and I was tired).

However, a lot of authors tag their fics with both, say, Astarion/Tav and Astarion/F!OC. But for this exercise I’m not really looking at how authors refer to the Tav/Dark Urge/self insert character in their tagging nomenclature. I’m more interested in how many fics exist for, say, the pairing of Astarion and the player character.

To this end, I combined the numbers for Tav, Dark Urge, OC, F!OC, M!OC, NB!OC, Reader, and You for each character ship. In order to avoid double counting fics, once I had added the numbers for a particular tag I excluded that tag from all future counts.

[X]/PC = [X]/Tav + ([X]/Dark Urge with the [X]/Tav tag excluded) + ([X]/Original Character with the [X]/Tav and [X]/Dark Urge excluded) + ([X]/Reader with [X]/Tav, [X]/Dark Urge, and [X]/Original Character excluded) and so on.

This process dropped the total number of pairings from 300 to 162. However, it also introduces an error. Some fics ship characters with an OC who is not a Tav/Dark Urge/self insert. In condensing all pairings with original characters to the “PC” supercategory, I am ignoring that and counting their original character as a Tav/Dark Urge equivalent. Unfortunately, this is just something I have to live with in order to be able to make the data more manageable, as there is no way to tell which fics are using the OC tag to represent a Tav/Dark Urge and which are not on a mass data scale. I don’t think it will skew the results too much, at least.

I pulled out the top 20 ships for each major character in BG3 (Tav, Dark Urge, the PC, Shadowheart, Karlach, Lae’zel, Minthara, Astarion, Gale, Wyll, and Halsin) before and after I combined the player character tags into the PC supercategory. For each character, I then determined how much of each fic category (M/F, M/M, F/F, Other, Multi) they had, both for all of their pairings and for their pairing with the PC specifically.

Let's start by looking at the player character and its two representatives.

TAV

Tav is in 71 of the top 300 ship tags in the BG3 fandom.

Astarion completely dominates Tav’s ships, with a whopping 9,235 fics (1,839 otp:true fics). In fact, in order to be able to see the tiny little boxes that represent everyone else, here’s another version of this chart, this time with Astarion excluded.

There, that’s a bit more legible. The next highest is Gale, with 2,909 fics (652 otp:true) – less than a third as many fics as Astarion. Halsin comes third with 1,304 fics (207 otp:true) and Shadowheart is the first canon woman to show up, with 806 fics (132 otp:true). Astarion has more than 11 times as many fics with Tav as Shadowheart does. Karlach comes next, with 724 fics (186 otp:true). Raphael comes sixth, with 176 more fics than #7 Wyll who has 442 fics (100 otp:true). Lae’zel is #11 with 300 fics, under Gortash, Rolan, and a threesome with Halsin and Astarion. Minthara is the least popular main character to ship with Tav. She’s #15 with 146 fics (33 otp:true), and has fewer fics with Tav than Zevlor, the Emperor or Haarlep. In a marked improvement from the state of affairs in January, however, she no longer has fewer fics than Kar’niss.

Taking a look at the fic category breakdown, we can see that M/F and M/M predominate for Tav, while there is very little F/F. Dividing the values by the total number of fics, 59.8% of all fics and 50.2% of otp:true fics are tagged M/F, 35.6% of all fics and 34.9% of otp:true fics are tagged M/M, 7.6% of all fics and 4.4% of otp:true fics are tagged F/F, and 13.2% of all fics and 14.2% of otp:true fics are tagged Other. As the proportions of M/F and F/F fics drop when otp:true is applied, I assume that it is more common for M/F and F/F pairings to have background ships or be a background ship (remember that if it is not otp:true, we have no idea if the pairing with Tav is the pairing category being counted.)

THE DARK URGE

The Dark Urge is in 38 of the top 300 ship tags of the BG3 fandom, a bit over half as many as Tav.

While Astarion once again is the most popular character to ship with the Dark Urge (2,165 fics), this time he actually has competition! Gortash/Dark Urge comes in at a very respectable second place with 1,594 fics (about three quarters of Astarion/Dark Urge’s total fic count) and actually beat Astarion by over 100 fics once you apply otp:true (562 fics for Astarion vs 691 fics for Gortash). But after Gortash we once again drop down to numbers we struggle to even see on the chart. Gale is the most visible with 402 fics total (Gale has fewer fics total with the Dark Urge than Astarion or Gortash have with otp:true applied). After that we have a group of Halsin, Shadowheart, and Karlach, all with between 120-150 fics. No other pairing has over 100 fics.

Dark Urge/Tav (99 fics) and Dark Urge/Orin (87 fics) have more fics than Dark Urge/Wyll (83 fics) or Dark Urge/Minthara (80 fics). For Wyll, this is a sign that his pairing with the Dark Urge is not very popular (he drops from #7 with Tav to #9 with the Dark Urge). For Minthara, however, this is a significant climb in the rankings – she was #15 with Tav and #10 with the Dark Urge.

But what’s really interesting to me is the fic category breakdown for the Dark Urge.

The Dark Urge has noticeably more M/M content than Tav does (47.0% vs 35.6% for all fics, 56.9% vs 34.9% for opt:true) and slightly more F/F content than Tav does (10.2% vs 7.6% for all fics, 5.2% vs 4.4% for otp:true), and correspondingly less F/M content. At 13.4% for all fics and 12.8% of otp:true fics, the proportion of Other fic stays just about the same as for Tav.

THE PLAYER CHARACTER

The PC is a combination of Tav, Dark Urge, Original Character, Reader, and You. The PC is in 64 of the top 162 pairings of the BG3 fandom (losing 5 pairings from Tav as I combined Tav/Tav, Tav/Dark Urge, Tav/Reader and so on into one PC/OC category).

The player character was involved in 76.0% of all pairings and 62.1% of otp:true pairings (that is, if you add up every fic for every pairing which the PC is in and divide it by sum of all fics for all BG3 pairings I tracked). This means that over three quarters of shipping in the BG3 fandom is with the player character. It’s not surprising, but it is notable – that’s a very large proportion.

Holy smokes, Astarion! He dominates the rankings even more than before. This time, I was curious to see how much. See below for a proportional representation of all of the PC pairings (note: because many fics have multiple pairings, this circle does not represent the total number of fics but rather the total number of times any pairing with the PC has been tagged).

Astarion composes a full 45% of all pairings with the PC, Gale is bit over 13%, Gortash is 7.3% for all fics and 11.3% of otp:true fics, while Halsin has the opposite trend with 6.3% of all fics and 4.9% of otp:true fics. Shadowheart, Karlach, Raphael, and Wyll all are between 2% and 4% (with Raphael once again beating Wyll). Lae’zel is down at #11 with 1.4% and Minthara is all the way at #16 with 0.9%.

Out of curiosity, I went through all of the PC’s pairings and sorted them by the gender of the person being shipped with the PC.

Oof.

85.7% of all PC ships are with men, 10.4% are with women, and 1.9% are nonbinary beings (Haarlep, the Emperor, and Omeluum). When you apply otp:true, 87.1% of the player character’s ships are with men, 9.9% are with women, and 1.3% are with nonbinary beings.

SHADOWHEART

Welp! Let’s take a look at that 10%, starting with Shadowheart.

If you add up all the fics for all the pairings that include Shadowheart and divide that by the sum of all fics for all 162 pairings I collected, you can see that she is present in 7.0% of pairings. Interestingly, this is true both for all fics and for otp:true fics. She is in 30 of the top 300 ship tags and 24 of the 162 pairings that remain once the player character tags are consolidated.

(I have shortened Shadowheart's name to SH and Shart in various charts to keep the labels from taking up too much room in the graph.)

Lae’zel/Shadowheart is in close competition with Shadowheart/Tav. When all the player characters are condensed into the PC, though, that gap widens.

Shadowheart has 980 fics with the PC, 694 with Lae’zel, 226 with Karlach, 111 with Gale, 61 with Astarion, 51 with Nocturne, 36 with Halsin, 26 with Minthara, and 21 with Wyll (her least popular ship with a main character, at #12). 7 of her top 20 pairings are threesomes – Aylin/Isobel/SH at #8 with 35 fics, Karlach/PC/SH at #9, Karlach/Lae’zel/SH at #10, Astarion/PC/SH at #13, Halsin/PC/SH at #14, Karlach/Wyll/SH at #17, and Gale/Lae’zel/SH at #18.

Lae’zel/Shadowheart has an unusually high number of otp:true fics – almost half of its total fic count. It seems more popular to ship Shadowheart with women than men – both her ships with Lae’zel and Karlach are more popular than Astarion, Gale, or Wyll and her threesomes with women have more fics than her threesomes with men.

The fic category breakdown for Shadowheart matches this expectation.

Boy howdy is Shadowheart fic gay! She has over twice as much F/F fic than M/F fic, just looking at raw numbers of fics. Looking at the proportions of her total fic count, F/F fic represents 71.4% of all of her fics, M/F fic is 35.2%, Other is 10.0%, and Multi is 18.8%. (These percentages add up to more than 100% because many fics tag multiple categories.) This also means that we can’t know that these numbers necessarily include Shadowheart – witness the numbers of M/M fics. All it means is that these categories were on fics in which a Shadowheart pairing was also tagged.

Looking at the otp:true numbers gives us a better picture of what fics where only Shadowheart is in a relationship are like (though this not necessarily an accurate idea of patterns for her overall, as less than a third of her total fics are otp:true). 76.4% of otp:true fics are F/F, 19.8% are M/F, 3.8% are Other, and for some reason 1.2% (9 fics) are M/M. Over three quarters of Shadowheart’s otp:true pairings are femmeslash.

Shadowheart’s fics with the PC character follow pretty much the same pattern as her ships more generally, albeit with slightly less F/F (likely from the loss of the relative behemoth that is Shadowheart/Lae’zel).

32.9% of her pairings with the PC have the M/F tag, 68.1% are tagged F/F, 11.3% are tagged Other, and 18.5% are tagged Multi. Applying otp:true, 25.7% are M/F, 62.6% are F/F, and 12.3% are Other (this likely includes a substantial portion of nonbinary PCs).

KARLACH

Karlach is present in 6.0% of all fic pairings and 5.4% of otp:true fic pairings. She has 31 ship tags in the top 300 ship tags, which condense down to 26 pairings when all player character stand ins are combined.

Her second most popular ship after Tav is with Wyll, though unlike with Shadowheart the pairing is not popular enough to give Tav a run for his/her/their money. Condensing all the player characters widens this gap significantly.

The PC is overwhelmingly Karlach’s most popular ship, with 890 fics. Wyll is second, with 327 fics – less than half as many. Shadowheart and Astarion follow with 226 and 157, respectively. Dammon is next, with 91 fics, and then Lae’zel has 65. She then has a number of threesomes, Minthara (#9 with 32 fics), and Gale (#11 with 18 fics). Halsin is her least popular pairing with a main character, coming in at #15 with 11 fics.

Surprisingly, for all that Karlach is fairly butch, her pairings with men are relatively more popular than we see with the more femme Shadowheart. The category statistics illustrate this clearly.

Compared to Shadowheart, Karlach has a lower proportion of F/F and higher proportions of M/F and Multi fics. F/F is tagged on 51.8% of her fics, M/F on 42.5%, Other on 12.3% and Multi on 27.7%. (Remember that fics can be tagged with multiple categories and that just because a category is tagged doesn’t mean that Karlach is involved in that category.) Looking at otp:true gives us a look at fics where she is the sole focus. F/F is 55.0% of her otp:true fics, M/F drops to 34.4%, Multi drops to 6.1%, and Other stays fairly high at 10.4%.

In Karlach’s pairings with the player character, things change significantly.

It immediately becomes clear that the large number of M/F fics in her general pairings were largely due to her relatively popular ships with Wyll, Astarion, and Dammon. F/F dominates Karlach’s pairings with the PC with 64.0% (67.8% with otp:true applied) of fics, which puts her at just slightly less than Shadowheart. M/F is tagged in 28.5% of her fics with the PC (14.0% with otp:true applied), Multi is tagged 19.4% but drops to 1.2% for otp:true, and Other remains high with 18.0% of fics and 20.2% of otp:true fics with the PC.

Back in January, I noted that of the main cast, Karlach had the highest proportion of ships with nonbinary OCs. I didn’t track the breakdown of OC subcategories this time, but the high numbers in the Other category bear it out.

LAE'ZEL

Counting all fics for all pairings in which Lae’zel is tagged, she is in a mere 3.8% of BG3 pairings, though it rises to 4.5% when otp:true is applied. She is in 23 of the top 300 ship tags, a number that drops down to 18 when I consolidate the player character tags together.

Shadowheart/Lae’zel has twice as many fics as Lae’zel/Tav. Looking at the situation with the PC does not change this much.

Unlike any other main character, Lae’zel’s most popular ship is not with the PC but with Shadowheart. She has 694 fics with Shadowheart, 355 with the PC, 65 with Karlach, 26 with Gale, 26 with Wyll, 25 with Astarion, 16 with Minthara, and 12 with Halsin. She is in an unusually low number of threesomes – only 4. It’s notable though how skewed her numbers are towards women – a threesome with Karlach and Shadowheart has more fics than any of her pairings with a canon man. The various whole team multiship pairings, none of which have more than 11 fics, comprise most of the tail end of her ship list.

Speaking of the tail end of her ship list, what happens when we condense the player character tags is that Lae’zel does not reach a full 20 ships – she drops to 18 pairings. She has more than this, of course, but my methodology ignores all pairings with fewer than 5 fics (which means that my friend’s Lae’zel/Astarion/Tav fic is not counted). Therefore, Lae’zel’s 19th and 20th most popular pairings have 4 fics or fewer. I have represented these missing pairings with little :( emojis, because this is a sad state of affairs.

This is a symptom of a state of affairs in which Lae’zel is just not very popular in the AO3 side of BG3 fandom. Her most popular ship is Shadowheart’s second most popular ship, and the numbers crater after that. No Lae’zel ship other than Shadowheart and the PC has more than 100 fics.

Lae’zel’s most popular ships being women is demonstrated clearly by the fic category breakdown.

Wow! At a whopping 76.3% of all of Lae’zel’s fics and 88.9% of Lae’zel’s otp:true fics, Lae’zel has a higher proportion of F/F fic than Shadowheart. Granted, they’re both sizable portions of each other’s total F/F count. 26.1% of Lae’zel’s fics have the M/F tag, though this drops to a mere 7.1% when otp:true is applied. Other is tagged in 11.6% of fics but drops to 2.0% with otp:true. 18.1% of her fics are tagged Multi but this likewise drops to 4.4% with otp:true.

The pertinent question for Lae’zel is how much of her F/F count is due to her pairing with Shadowheart? How gay are her pairings with the PC?

The answer is... still pretty gay! F/F is not quite as dominant, with 67.3% of all her fics with the PC and 80.0% of her fics where only Lae’zel/PC is tagged – but 80% is a still a really high proportion! This indicates to me that a lot of the M/F in the “All Fics” chart likely does not involve Lae’zel. M/F is tagged in 33.5% of her fics with the PC, a number which is more than halved to 12.7% when otp:true is applied. 13.2% of her fics are tagged Other, which drops to 5.5% with otp:true – much less than for Shadowheart and Karlach. It seems either Lae’zel is not as popular for nonbinary OCs or that a large proportion of the Other tag is from mind flayer Tavs/Durges and people don’t write Lae’zel with a mind flayer love interest.

One other notable fact is that Lae’zel is the only female companion without any otp:true M/M PC fic. It could be due to her low fic numbers in the first place, but I prefer to think that Lae’zel fans are simply more fastidious about correctly tagging fic. It certainly fits her character.

MINTHARA

Ah, Minthara. Unquestionably the least popular of the main romanceable characters in BG3, her pairings only comprise 1.1% of all BG3 fanfic pairings, a number that rises to a whopping(/sarcastic) 1.4% of otp:true pairings. She has only 14 ship tags in the 300 most popular ship tags for BG3, a number that drops further to a mere 9 pairings once I’ve combined all the player character tags.

What’s notable about Minthara’s ship tags is the popularity of the Dark Urge relative to Tav. Minthara has 146 fics with Tav and 80 with the Dark Urge. This is a higher proportion than other main characters have. It may be because more people write her on evil routes (which likely disproportionately feature the Dark Urge) or because she has some very good lines for the Dark Urge and their Slayer form.

Another observation is the lack of primary non-PC ships. The other characters that I look at all have a major non-PC ship – Shadowheart/Lae’zel, Karlach/Wyll, Gale/Astarion, Wyll/Astarion, Halsin/Astarion. Minthara doesn’t really have that. Her most popular non-PC ship is Orin, at #5 and with a mere 45 fics. This is illustrated clearly once all the player character tags are combined.

The PC dominates Minthara’s pairings to an extent not seen with any other character, not even Astarion. She drops from 234 fics with the PC (65 otp:true) to 45 fics with Orin (26 otp:true), 32 with Karlach (16 otp:true) and 26 with Shadowheart (11 otp:true). Every other pairing has 16 or less fics. Tying into that, Minthara has very few pairings with 5 or more fics. She does not even have enough for a top 10! I have replaced her missing pairings with the :( emoji because this is sad.

Another notable thing about this chart, though, is how few fics Minthara has just in general. Lae’zel and Wyll, the other neglected companions, both have at least 500 fics with their most popular partner. Minthara does not even break 250. In fact, none of her pairings with someone other than the PC have over 50 fics.

Another interesting fact is that Minthara is the only character in this analysis to not have any threesomes or moresomes in her pairings with over 5 fics. She doesn’t share, it seems.

For some reason, Minthara has 8 ships with Councillor Florrick of all people. And it’s not all by the same author, which is what I would expect for a somewhat out there pairing. Presumably someone out there wrote a really good fic which then inspired others to play with the idea. In a small fandom like Minthara’s, one fic like that can make quite a difference.

As can be expected, Minthara’s fic categories are pretty damn gay.

F/F is tagged in 79.0% of her fics (77.6% of otp:true fics). M/M is tagged in 21.3% of her fics (17.1% of otp:true fics), Other in 6.1% (4.6% otp:true), and Multi in 8.9% though it drops to 1.3% of her otp:true fics. With these numbers, Minthara is arguably the gayest major character in the BG3 fandom by fic count, though Lae’zel beats her when you take otp:true into effect.

This pattern holds true when looking at her ship with the player character. 77.8% of her fics with the PC are tagged F/F (73.8% of otp:true fics), 23.5% are tagged M/F (15.4% otp:true), 8.5% are tagged Other (10.8% otp:true), and 9.4% are tagged Multi (3.1% otp:true). The latter is a bit confusing given that she has no multiship pairings. It may include collections of Reader/[X] fics that include Minthara.

PART 2

Welp. I’ve run into the tumblr post image limit. For part 2 of this essay, which discusses Astarion, Gale, Wyll, and Halsin and then compares all 8 of the main characters against each other on a variety of metrics, see this link.

[allsouls-emma]

heyy bestie!! i noticed you’re also an f1 fan (as am i) i was wondering if you could write an f1 driver reader! x leon marchand! preferably a ferrari driver (forza ferrari always)🤞

✧Scarlett Red in a Ferrari ✧

─ Léon Marchand x OC, Léon Marchand x Reader, f1 driver reader! x leon marchand!

OMG OMG @scottstr3et, I AM SO EXCITED. I adore F1 (Mclaren Girlie at heart) this was so much fun!! i really hope you love this as much as i did!.

Warnings: f1 driver reader! x leon marchand!, Strangers to lovers, silverstone, F1 and swimming crossover, Fluff!

The roar of the Ferrari engine was a symphony Y/N had dreamt about for years. Every twist and turn of the Maranello track felt surreal, as if they were floating on a cloud made of horsepower and adrenaline. This was their first official day as a Ferrari driver—a dream so vivid it felt almost tangible, like the very wheel they were gripping.

"Y/N, how’s the car feeling?" the engineer's voice crackled through the radio, breaking their reverie.

Y/N's heart pounded in sync with the engine. "It’s responsive, stable... feels perfect. Ready to push it."

"Copy that. Let's get you warmed up with a few laps."

Y/N pressed down on the accelerator, feeling the immense power surge through the car as they exited the pit lane. The sensation was overwhelming—an intoxicating blend of fear, excitement, and sheer determination. The car danced through the corners, gripping the asphalt with ease. Every vibration through the steering wheel communicated the car's every nuance, and Y/N responded instinctively, as if the car was an extension of their body.

But with the thrill came pressure. Driving for Ferrari wasn't just about skill; it was about legacy, and Y/N knew the weight of that responsibility. The team was expecting results. The Tifosi—Ferrari's passionate fanbase—were expecting miracles.

As Y/N completed the first few laps, the rhythm started to set in, nerves slowly morphing into confidence. It was during the cool-down lap that the thought crept in—could they really do this? Compete at the highest level, under the brightest spotlight?

"Good job, Y/N. Bring it back to the pits," the engineer's voice instructed, breaking through their thoughts.

Y/N eased off the throttle, guiding the car back into the pit lane. After parking and stepping out, the intense heat from the car mixed with the cool Maranello air, creating a strange but comforting sensation. The team was gathered around, checking data, and analyzing every second of the run.

Y/N took off their helmet, running a hand through sweat-dampened hair. The sight of the Ferrari crew bustling about with purpose made their heart swell with pride. They were really here.

"Solid run out there," the team principal said, clapping Y/N on the shoulder. "We’ll go over the data, but things are looking promising."

"Thanks," Y/N replied, trying to keep their voice steady despite the adrenaline coursing through them.

As they walked away from the car, the reality of their new life started to settle in. This was just the beginning of a grueling season—one that would test them mentally, physically, and emotionally. But Y/N was ready to face it head-on. After all, this was their dream.

The season opener in Bahrain was fast approaching, and Y/N was putting in extra hours at the simulator, fine-tuning their understanding of the car. The Ferrari hospitality suite buzzed with activity as preparations were in full swing, but Y/N's focus was singular.

"You're going to wear yourself out before the race even starts," a familiar voice teased.

Y/N turned around to find Charles Leclerc leaning casually against the doorway, a small smirk playing on his lips. The Monegasque driver had been with Ferrari for a few seasons now, and his presence in the team was both comforting and challenging—a benchmark to measure oneself against.

"Just making sure I’m as prepared as possible," Y/N replied with a smile. "Can’t leave anything to chance."

Charles chuckled. "Smart, but don’t forget to live a little. The season is long, and you need to find balance."

Y/N nodded, appreciating the advice. "What about you? How do you find that balance?"

Charles shrugged. "I go home, spend time with family, or just do something completely unrelated to racing. It helps keep the mind fresh. You should try it."

Y/N knew he was right. The pressure of being a Ferrari driver was immense, and they needed to find a way to manage it without burning out.

"Actually," Charles continued, "there’s a swimming event this weekend in Monaco. I know you're new to the team, but you should come. A lot of the drivers are going, and it could be a good way to unwind before the chaos starts."

Y/N hesitated. Swimming events weren’t really their scene, but the idea of taking a break and bonding with other drivers was appealing. Plus, Charles had a point—getting out of the racing mindset, even briefly, could be beneficial.

"Alright, I’m in," Y/N finally agreed.

"Great. It’ll be fun, I promise," Charles said with a grin. "And who knows, you might meet some interesting people."

---

That weekend, Y/N found themselves in Monaco, surrounded by a different kind of athlete. The energy was more relaxed, yet still competitive. The event was packed, with the audience buzzing as swimmers took to the pool. Y/N was impressed by the sheer physicality of the sport, the way the swimmers cut through the water with such grace and power.

Charles had been right—this was exactly the kind of break they needed.

"Hey, you made it!" Charles said, walking up to Y/N with a drink in hand.

"Yeah, you were right. This is a nice change of pace," Y/N replied, watching as the next race started.

As they were talking, a swimmer emerged from the pool, his dark hair slicked back and water dripping off his muscular frame. He pulled off his cap and goggles, revealing a strikingly handsome face, his intense blue eyes scanning the crowd. There was something magnetic about him, a confidence in the way he carried himself that caught Y/N's attention.

"That’s Leon Marchand," Charles said, noticing Y/N's gaze. "He’s one of the top swimmers in the world right now. Won a bunch of medals already."

Y/N nodded, trying to appear nonchalant. "He looks like he was born for this."

"He probably was," Charles replied with a chuckle. "Come on, I’ll introduce you."

They made their way over to where Leon was toweling off, the crowd around them buzzing with excitement. When Charles approached, Leon looked up, a friendly smile breaking through his focused expression.

"Hey, Charles! Good to see you," Leon said, his voice warm despite the exhaustion of the race.

"Leon, this is Y/N. They’re new to Ferrari this year," Charles introduced them with a casual wave.

Y/N extended a hand, trying to ignore the sudden flutter of nerves. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Leon replied, his handshake firm but not overpowering. His eyes lingered on Y/N's for a moment, and there was a spark of recognition, like he was trying to place them.

"You did great out there," Y/N said, trying to fill the silence.

"Thanks. I’ve been putting in a lot of work lately. You’re with Ferrari, right? That must be intense."

Y/N nodded, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious under Leon's gaze. "Yeah, it’s been a lot, but I’m ready for the challenge."

"I’m sure you are," Leon replied, his smile widening slightly. "It’s not every day you meet someone who drives at 300 kilometers an hour for a living."

"Well, it’s not every day you meet someone who swims like a dolphin," Y/N shot back, surprising themselves with their quick wit.

Leon laughed, a genuine sound that made Y/N's heart skip a beat. "Touché."

As the conversation continued, Y/N found themselves drawn to Leon’s easygoing nature and the way he seemed genuinely interested in their world. They talked about the pressures of their respective sports, the rigorous training schedules, and the sacrifices they had to make to stay on top. There was an understanding between them that transcended words—a shared recognition of what it meant to be the best in your field.

When the evening wound down and the crowd began to disperse, Leon turned to Y/N, his expression softening. "I’m glad we met today. Maybe we could hang out sometime, when we’re not both in the middle of our crazy schedules?"

Y/N felt a warmth spread through them at the invitation. "I’d like that."

As they exchanged numbers and said their goodbyes, Y/N couldn’t help but feel like something significant had just begun. Maybe Charles was right—finding balance didn’t mean stepping away from the competition; it meant finding someone who understood it just as much as you did.

The weeks following their encounter with Leon were a whirlwind. The F1 season kicked off with a bang, and Y/N was thrust into the chaos of race weekends, media commitments, and constant travel. Yet, amidst the frenzy, there was a constant thought that kept them grounded—Leon.

They’d texted sporadically at first, brief conversations about their respective sports and the occasional joke. But as the races piled up and the pressures mounted, those texts became a lifeline for Y/N. Leon had a way of making them laugh, even on the toughest days, and his encouragement was a steady source of support.

It wasn’t long before they found themselves looking forward to hearing from him, their conversations becoming more frequent and personal. They’d talk late into the night, sharing stories about their childhoods, their dreams, and their fears. The connection between them grew stronger with each passing day, even though they hadn’t seen each other in person since that day in Monaco.

One evening, after a particularly grueling race in Spain where Y/N finished just off the podium, they found themselves alone in their hotel room, scrolling through messages when Leon’s name popped up on the screen.

**Leon:** Tough race today. You did well, though. P4 is still a great result. You should be proud.

Y/N smiled at the message, the frustration of missing out on the podium slightly easing as they typed back a reply.

**Y/N:** Thanks, Leon. It’s tough to come so close, but yeah, I’ll take it. How’s training going for you?

**Leon:** Intense as always, but I’m getting there. Actually, I’ve got a bit of a break coming up next weekend. What’s your next race?

**Y/N:** Silverstone. Big one. The British fans are something else.

**Leon:** Sounds amazing. Would you mind some company?

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat. The thought of having Leon at Silverstone, cheering them on, filled them with a warmth they hadn’t felt in a long time.

**Y/N:** I’d love that. It’ll be chaotic, but having you there would be awesome.

**Leon:** It’s a date, then. I’ll be your personal cheerleader.

Y/N grinned at the message, their mind already racing ahead to what it would be like to have Leon there. The idea of him being in the crowd, supporting them, made the upcoming race feel even more significant.

---

Silverstone was electric. The air buzzed with excitement as the fans poured into the stands, draped in the Union Jack, chanting for their favorite drivers. For Y/N, this race felt different. The pressure was there, of course, but it was accompanied by a sense of anticipation they hadn’t felt before.

Leon arrived on Saturday, just in time for qualifying. Y/N met him in the Ferrari hospitality suite, and as soon as they saw him, they couldn’t help but smile. He looked relaxed, dressed casually in a polo shirt and jeans, but his presence had an immediate calming effect on Y/N.

"Hey, you made it!" Y/N said, pulling him into a quick, but warm hug.

"Wouldn’t miss it for the world," Leon replied, his smile just as bright as Y/N’s. "This place is insane. I’ve never seen anything like it."

"It’s definitely a different kind of crazy," Y/N laughed. "Come on, let me show you around."

They spent the next hour exploring the paddock, with Y/N introducing Leon to various team members and fellow drivers. Leon was a hit—his easygoing nature and genuine interest in the sport winning everyone over. Y/N could tell he was fascinated by the intricacies of F1, asking questions about the car setups, race strategies, and what it felt like to drive at such high speeds.

When it was time for qualifying, Leon took his seat in the Ferrari suite, watching intently as Y/N climbed into the car. The qualifying session was intense, with Y/N pushing the car to its limits around Silverstone’s fast, flowing corners. The roar of the crowd was deafening as Y/N crossed the line, securing P2 for the race.

Afterward, Y/N found Leon waiting for them, a proud smile on his face. "P2! You were incredible out there!"

"Thanks, but it’s only half the job," Y/N replied, still buzzing from the session. "Tomorrow’s the real test."

"You’ve got this," Leon said, his confidence in Y/N unwavering. "I’ll be cheering you on the whole way."

Y/N felt a surge of emotion at his words. Leon’s belief in them was like a shot of adrenaline, fueling their determination to deliver on race day.

---

Sunday morning dawned bright and clear, the perfect day for racing. The atmosphere at Silverstone was electric, with over a hundred thousand fans packed into the grandstands, their cheers echoing around the historic circuit.

Y/N felt a mixture of nerves and excitement as they prepared for the race. They could feel the energy in the air, the sense that something special was about to happen. And knowing Leon was there, watching, only intensified those feelings.

As the race began, Y/N got off to a strong start, maintaining their position in the top three. The battle for the lead was fierce, with every lap pushing the drivers to their limits. The corners flew by in a blur, the roar of the engine drowning out everything else.

Leon watched from the suite, his heart pounding as Y/N fought for every inch on the track. He’d never experienced anything like this before—the sheer speed, the danger, the skill it took to control such a powerful machine. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at once.

As the race entered its final stages, Y/N found themselves in a tight battle for the lead. The car ahead was fast, but Y/N was faster, and with a few laps to go, they made their move, diving down the inside at Stowe corner to take the lead.

The crowd erupted as Y/N crossed the line in first place, the checkered flag waving them home. It was a moment of pure elation, a victory that meant the world to them.

After parking the car and jumping out, Y/N was greeted by their team, hugs and cheers all around. But it was Leon they sought out first, their eyes scanning the crowd until they found him making his way through the throng of people.

As soon as their eyes met, Y/N broke into a run, their heart pounding with joy. Leon caught them as they reached him, pulling them into a tight embrace. The world seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of them in that moment of pure happiness.

"You did it!" Leon exclaimed, his voice full of pride and emotion.

"I couldn’t have done it without you," Y/N replied, their voice thick with emotion. The adrenaline of the race was still coursing through them, but it was mixed with something else—a deep, overwhelming feeling for the man standing in front of them.

Without thinking, Y/N leaned in, capturing Leon’s lips in a kiss. It was spontaneous, driven by the rush of victory and the connection they’d been building over the past few weeks. The kiss was brief but intense, a moment of pure passion that took them both by surprise.

When they pulled back, Y/N saw the surprise in Leon’s eyes, but also something else—something that mirrored the emotions they were feeling.

"Wow," Leon whispered, a smile slowly spreading across his face. "That was... unexpected."

Y/N laughed, their heart swelling with affection. "Sorry, I just... I couldn’t help it."

"Don’t apologize," Leon said, his hand cupping Y/N’s cheek. "I’m glad you did."

Before they could say anything more, the team was calling for Y/N to head to the podium. Y/N looked back at Leon, their eyes locking once more.

"Stay close, okay? I want you to be there when I get off the podium."

"I’ll be right here," Leon promised, his smile warm and reassuring.

With one last squeeze of Leon’s hand, Y/N turned and headed toward the podium, the cheers of the crowd ringing in their ears. As they stepped onto the top step, the weight of the moment hit them—the culmination of all their hard work, their dreams, and the support of the people who believed in them.

And as the national anthem played and the champagne flowed, Y/N’s thoughts were with Leon. They knew this was just the beginning of something incredible, both on and off the track.

When the podium celebrations were over, Y/N quickly made their way back to Leon, who was waiting just where he’d promised. Without a word, Y/N pulled him into another kiss, this one slower, more deliberate, a promise of what was to come.

As they finally pulled away, Y/N rested their forehead against Leon’s, their smiles mirroring each other.

"Looks like I’ve got another reason to love racing," Y/N said softly.

Leon chuckled, his eyes shining with happiness. "And I’ve got a new favorite driver."

Together, they walked away from the podium, hand in hand, ready to face whatever the future held.

[worstjourney]

The Millennials' Polar Expedition

A year ago today (23 Nov 2022), I launched Worst Journey Vol.1 at the Scott Polar Research Institute. This is the text of the speech I gave to the lovely people who turned up to celebrate.

As many of you know, my interest in the Terra Nova Expedition was sparked by Radio 4’s dramatisation of The Worst Journey in the World, now 14 years ago.  The story is an incredible story, and it got its claws into me, but what kept me coming back again and again were the people.  I couldn’t believe anyone so wonderful had ever really existed.  So when I finally succumbed to obsession and started reading all the books, it was the expedition members’ own words which I most cherished.  These were not always easy to come by, though, so plenty of popular histories were consumed as well.  Reading both in tandem, it soon became clear that, while there were some good books out there, there was a lot of sloppy research in the polar echo chamber as well.

I also discovered that no adaptation had attempted to get across the full scope of the expedition.  There has never been a full and fair dramatic retelling, all having been limited by time, budget, or ideology from telling the whole story truthfully.  I was determined that my adaptation would be both complete and accurate, and be as accountable as possible to those precious primary documents and the people who wrote them.

So the years of research began.  I moved to Cambridge to be able to drop in at SPRI and make the most of the archives.  Getting to Antarctica seemed impossible, but I went to New Zealand to get at least that much right, and on the way back stayed with relatives in Alberta, the most Antarctic place I could realistically visit.  I gathered reference for objects wherever I could.  Because Vol.1 takes place mainly on the Terra Nova, which is now a patch of sludge on the seabed off Greenland, I cobbled together a Franken-Nova in my mind, between the Discovery up in Dundee and the Star of India in San Diego.  I spent a week on a Jubilee Sailing Trust ship in order to depict tall-ship sailing correctly.  I’m sure I’ve still got loads of things wrong, but I did all I could, to get as much as I could, right.

But still, everyone I met who had been to Antarctica said, “you can’t understand Antarctica until you’ve been there, and you can’t tell the story without understanding Antarctica; you have to go.”  So I applied to the USAP’s Antarctic Artists and Writers Program, with faint hope, as they do “Ahrt” and I draw cartoons.  But I must have blagged a good grant proposal, because a year after applying, I was stepping out of a C-17 onto the Ross Ice Shelf.  The whole trip would have been worth it just to stand there, turn in a circle, and see how all the familiar photographs fit together.  But the USAP’s generosity didn’t stop there, and in the next month I saw Hut Point, Arrival Heights, the Beardmore Glacier (including the moraine on which the Polar Party stopped to “geologise”), and Cape Crozier, and made three visits to the Cape Evans hut.  Three!  On top of the visual reference I got priceless qualitative data.  The hardness of the sound.  The surprising warmth of the sun. The sugary texture of the snow.  The keen edge on a slight breeze.  The way your fingertips and toes can start to go when the rest of you is perfectly warm.  The SHEER INSANITY of Cape Crozier.  The veterans were right – I couldn’t have drawn it without having been there, but now I have, and can, and I am more grateful than I can ever adequately express.  With all these resources laid so copiously at my feet, all I had to do was sit down and draw the darn thing.  Luckily I have some very sound training to back me up on that.

Now, this is all very well for the how of making the book, and, I hope, interesting enough. But why?  Why am I putting so much effort into telling this story, and why now?

Well, it means a lot to me personally.  To begin to understand why, you need to know that I grew up in the 80s and 90s, at the height of individualist, goal-oriented, success-driven, dog-eat-dog, devil-take-the-hindmost neoliberalism.  It was just assumed that humans, when you get right down to it, were basically self-interested jerks, and I saw plenty of them around so I had no reason to question this assumption.  The idea was that if you did everything right, and worked really hard, you could retire at 45 to a yacht in the Bahamas, and if you didn’t retire to a yacht, well, you just hadn’t tried hard enough.  Character, in the sense of rigorous personal virtue, was for schmucks.  What mattered was success.  Even as my politics evolved, I still took it as a given that this was how the world worked, and that was how people generally were – after all, there was no lack of corroborating evidence.  So: I worked really hard.  I single-mindedly pursued my self-interest.  I made sacrifices, and put in the time, and fought my way into my dream job and all the success I could have asked for.

And then I met the Terra Nova guys.

What struck me most about them was that even when everything was going wrong, when their expectations were shattered and they had to face the cruellest reality, they were still kind.  Not backbiting, recriminating, blame-throwing, defensive, or mean, as one would expect – they were lovely to each other, patient, supportive, self-sacrificing; in fact the worse things got, the better they were.  They still treated each other as friends even when it wasn’t in their self-interest, was even contrary to their self-interest.  I didn’t know people could be like that.  But there they were, in plain writing, being thoroughly, bafflingly, decent.  Not just the Polar Party – everyone had to face their own brutal realities at some point, and they all did so with a grace I never thought possible.

It presented a very important question:

When everything goes belly-up, and you’re facing the worst, what sort of person will you be?

Or perhaps more acutely: What sort of person would you rather be with?

It was so contrary to the world I lived in, to the reality I knew – it was a peek into an alternate dimension, populated entirely with lovely, lovely people, who really, genuinely believed that “it’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game,” and behaved accordingly.  It couldn’t be real.  There had to be a deeper, unpleasant truth: that was how the world worked, after all.  I kept digging, expecting to hit bottom at some point, but I only found more gold, all the way down.  How could I not spend my life on this?

Mythology exists to pass on a culture’s values, moral code, and survival information – how to face challenges and prevail.  Scott’s story entered the British mythology, and had staying power, because it exemplified those things so profoundly for the culture that created and received it.  But the culture changed, and there were new values; Scott’s legacy was first inverted and then cast aside.  The new culture needed a new epic hero.  You’d think it would be Amundsen, the epitome of ruthless success, but “Make Plan – Execute Plan – Go Home” has no mythic value, so he didn’t stick.  The hero needed challenges, he needed setbacks, and he needed to win, on our terms.

Shackleton!  Shackleton was a winner!  Shackleton told us what we knew to be true and wanted to hear at epic volume: that if you want something badly enough, and try really hard, you will succeed!  (Especially if you can control the narrative.)  Scott, on the other hand, tells us that if you want something badly enough, and try really hard . . . you may nevertheless die horribly in the snow.  Nobody wants to hear that!  What a downer!  I think it’s no coincidence that Shackleton exploded into popular culture in the late 90s and has dominated it ever since: he is the mythic hero of the zeitgeist. I am always being asked if I’ll be doing Shackleton next.  He has six graphic novels already!  That is plenty!  But people still want to tell and be told his story, because it’s a heroic myth that validates our worldview.

That’s why I am so determined to tell the Scott story, because Scott is who we don’t realise we need right now – and Wilson, and Bowers, and Cherry, and Atch, and all the rest.  The Terra Nova Expedition is the Millennials’ polar expedition.  We’ve worked really hard, we’ve done everything we were supposed to, we made what appeared to be the right decisions at the time, and we’re still losing.  Nothing in the mythology we’ve been fed has prepared us for this.  No amount of positive attitude is going to change it.  We have all the aphorisms in the world, but what we need is an example of how to behave when the chips are down, when the Boss is not sailing into the tempest to rescue us, when the Yelcho is not on the horizon.  When circumstances are beyond your power to change, how do you make the best of your bad situation?  What does that look like? Even if you can’t fix anything, how do you make it better for the people around you – or at the very least, not worse?  Scott tells us: you can be patient, supportive, and humble; see who needs help and offer it; be realistic but don’t give in to despair; and if you’re up against a wall with no hope of rescue, go out in a blaze of kindness.  We learn by imitation: it’s easy to say these things, but to see them in action, in much harder circumstances than we will ever face, is a far greater help.  And to see them exemplified by real, flawed, complicated people like us is better still; they are not fairy-tale ideals, they are achievable. Real people achieved them.

My upbringing in the 80s milieu of selfishness, which set me up to receive the Scott story so gratefully, is hardly unique.  There are millions of us who are hungry for a counter-narrative.  My generation is desperate for demonstrations of caring, whether it’s activism or social justice or government policies that don’t abandon the vulnerable.  We’ve seen selfishness poison the world, and we want an alternative.  The time for competition is past; we must cooperate or perish, but we don’t know how to do it because our mythology is founded on competition.  The Scott story, if told properly, explodes the Just World Fallacy, and liberates us from the lie that has ruled our lives: that you make your own luck.  What happens, happens: what matters is how you respond to it.  My obsession with accuracy is in part to honour the men, and in part because Cherry was the ultimate stickler and he’d give me a hard time if I didn’t, but also because, if I’m telling the story to a new generation, I’m damn well going to make sure we get that much RIGHT.  It’s been really interesting to see, online, how my generation and the next have glommed onto polar exploration narratives, not as thrilling feats of derring-do, but as emotional explorations of found family and cooperative resilience.  We love them because they love each other, and loving each other helps get them through, and we want – we need – to see how that’s done.  It’s time to give them the Terra Nova story, and to tell it fully, fairly, and honestly, in all its complexity, because that is how their example is most useful to us.  Not as gods, and not as fools, but as real human beings who were excellent to each other in the face of disaster.  I only hope that I, a latecomer to their ways, can do them justice.

[dindjarindiaries]

Senator's Shadow - Chapter 5

summary: Hunter navigates the sweet haunting of your stolen moment in the secret base as the conflict on Eirus rages on.

pairing: hunter (the bad batch) x fem!reader

rating: mature (18+)

tags: bodyguard romance, forbidden love, fluff & angst, emotional & physical hurt/comfort, canon-typical violence, injuries & blood, trauma, eventual/mild smut

word count: 6.624k

chapter 4 ⟸ series masterlist ⟹ chapter 6

chapter 5 ⟹

Hunter woke with a start, his heart racing loud enough to thump against his eardrums as he gathered his bearings. He had to look next to him to make sure he was really alone in bed.

Because in his dreams, he had been in that secret base with you again, chasing the sweet taste of your affection in endless succession.

Hunter exhaled and ran a hand over his face. He glanced down and checked on the wound over his left side, lifting the secure wrap to see that it had made quite a bit of progress in healing overnight. Tech was going to want to check up on it again, if only to update the data he had already started to collect.

His comm chimed repeatedly on the bedside table. Hunter sighed and reached over to grab it, lifting it to his haunted lips as he spoke. “Yeah, I’m awake, Tech.”

“Good. Before you take over, it would be wise for me to do another analysis of your wound.”

Hunter smiled to himself. Even after all this time, it still amazed him how well he knew his squad. “Sure. I’ll let you in.”

Hunter set aside the comm and grunted as he stood from the bed. He was pleased to learn that he could walk without hunching over, a small yet crucial step in his healing. Hunter opened his door just as Tech walked up to it, and Hunter stood aside to let his brother enter.

“How was your shift?” Hunter hoped his strong concern wasn’t evident in his tone. He followed Tech inside of the room and sat on the end of his bed.

“As uneventful as usual.” Tech spoke while he worked, holding his datapad in one hand and a medical scanner in the other. “I imagine it was the same for Wrecker, who is now switching with Crosshair.”

Hunter’s brow furrowed. “‘Imagine?’ Do you know that for sure?”

Tech sighed and paused what he was doing, his helmet tilting at the sergeant. “Hunter, you cannot act as if it is a strong or even likely possibility that something has gone astray without us already being informed about it. We have, so far, had zero issues during our watch shifts.”

Still, Tech’s gaze softened at Hunter behind his goggles.

“Though I do understand that recent events have likely made you even more wary. You experienced a very close call.”

Hunter was the next one to soften as he reached forward to set a reassuring hand on Tech’s shoulder. “I’m fine, Tech.”

Tech lifted the scanner. “We have yet to prove that.”

Hunter huffed and let his hand fall back to his side. He took the wrap and moved it aside, letting Tech have access to the wound. The scanner’s red, gridded light assessed the skin while Tech fixed his attention on his datapad.

“Remarkable.” Tech’s eyes were wide with approval as he studied the data. Hunter lifted his brow. “The wound has healed almost exponentially overnight.” He gestured absentmindedly to the wrap that Hunter was beginning to secure back over his skin. “It would seem your effective work with the bandaging has paid off.”

There was a longing ache that struck deep within Hunter’s chest at the memory he hadn’t even been awake for. “I wish I could take the credit for it.”

Tech froze, his stare finding Hunter’s. “What do you mean?”

Hunter exhaled a soft breath and prepared himself for what was to come. “I wasn’t the one who wrapped it.”

Tech’s eyes narrowed before they widened even more than before. “Oh.” The skin around his eyes wrinkled as he no doubt smiled to himself underneath his helmet. “So, the senator had to gain access to—.”

“How else would she have done it, Tech?” Hunter couldn’t keep the defensive edge out of his tone as he raised an eyebrow at his brother. He shrugged and averted Tech’s gaze. “I wasn’t even conscious when she wrapped it, anyway.”

It was hard to miss Tech’s amused snickering. “Your wistful tone implies that you wish you had been.”

Hunter’s stare snapped back to Tech’s. “Wistful? That wasn’t…” He stopped, acknowledging his defeat. Hunter sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbows upon his knees. “I’m just not happy about the fact that I was out.”

“Understandable. To be in such a state of helplessness is difficult for anyone, especially a leader such as yourself.” Tech’s hand gestured to Hunter even as he continued to tap around the datapad. “I can imagine it was even more undesirable when you had the senator in your care.”

Hunter’s jaw tightened. That was something he had been trying not to think of. “I would feel the same if it was any of you.”

Tech shot Hunter a quick glance. “Certainly.” Before Hunter could even try to argue, Tech went on. “I have to say, this does explain the dazed behavior you exhibited during our return to the capitol. I had assumed it was from the loss of blood.”

“It was.” Hunter pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. All he found behind his eyelids were the same hauntings that had filled his dreams. “The lack of consciousness didn’t help, either.”

Tech hummed. “That is a fair assumption.” He set his datapad on his belt and nodded. “According to this data, you should be just fine to complete your normal activities, so long as you keep the wrap on for now. I will check on it again later this evening.”

Hunter relaxed his posture again and smiled at his brother. “Thanks, Tech.” He gestured with his head to the door. “Go get some rest.”

Tech offered a two-fingered salute before he turned on his heel and left the room. Hunter stayed where he was for a moment, hanging his head as he forced himself to focus on the day ahead. The galaxy couldn’t stop all because of a single, stolen moment with you, even if neither of you had even gotten the chance to talk about it yet.

Hunter was quick as he suited up, though he continued to mind the wrapping on his side. It was hard not to remember the way you had helped him with this process just over a day’s time ago, but this was also something Hunter had been doing on his own for years, and recalling the mundane routine made it just a little bit easier to get through.

His helmet was already on as he stepped out of his room, taking over the empty place where Tech had been before at your doors. With his back facing them, Hunter shut out everything except the farthest spaces to which his senses could reach, threatening to overwhelm them completely in favor of drowning out his own mind.

It had been long enough for a small throb to invade both his temples when he finally heard movement just behind your doors. Hunter shut down his senses, but still waited until the doors opened to turn around. As soon as his visor found you, he picked up on a skipping heartbeat, but it was impossible to tell if it was yours or his own.

Your first moment alone together since…

“Good morning, Sergeant.” Your voice was as kind as ever as you bowed your head at him, though your gaze never left his. There was a confusing mixture of emotions hidden within its depths.

“Senator.” Hunter returned the gesture. “I hope you slept well.”

Your eyes flashed with a light Hunter couldn’t quite catch, but you smiled nevertheless. “I did.” Your brow furrowed as your stare lowered to his side. “How’s your wound?”

The corners of Hunter’s mouth began to rise at your evident concern. “Much better. Tech said it’s almost completely healed.” Hunter dared to take just a small step closer to you. “He also said the effectiveness of the wrap had much to do with it.”

You beamed at him, maintaining your intense stare. “That makes me very happy to hear.” Some of the light in your eyes faded as you embraced your vulnerability. “I was very worried.”

Hunter’s chest ached for you. “You don’t have to worry about me, Senator.”

This time, you were the one to take another step closer to him. Hunter tried not to consider how little room there was left between the two of you. “But I do, Hunter, just as you do for me.”

And there it was, the simple utterance of his name that filled Hunter with an unprecedented rush of warmth. It was only the second time he had heard you say it without his title, and it made him remember the first—that sweet, pleased sigh of longing that could get him to do just about anything for your sake.

The sound of a door opening snapped the two of you out of your shared haze. Both your heads turned to face Echo as he stepped through the threshold of his room. Hunter’s visor looked down at his feet as he stepped back to make room for his brother, though he could feel the burn of Echo’s observant gaze even through his own helmet.

“Sorry if I… interrupted something.” Echo didn’t bother to hide the smug smile in his voice. “I thought I heard some voices out here.”

“No apology necessary, Echo.” You were able to keep your voice even, something Hunter couldn’t trust himself to do, as you smiled at Echo. “The sergeant was just about to do the wake-up call.”

Your words were his reminder to do just that. Hunter lifted his fingers to the side of his helmet and spoke. “Time to get a move on, boys. Crosshair, you can head inside.”

Crosshair’s cool voice was quick to respond. “Goody.”

“What are you up to today, Senator?” Echo asked the question Hunter wanted to, but beat him to it. “Anything exciting?”

You huffed. “I’m afraid not. I have to try my hand at more diplomatic resolutions today.”

Your brow had furrowed with a weariness Hunter recognized all too well. He was captivated by an urge to reach out for you, but he tightened his fist to keep his hand at his side. “How’s that been going?” Hunter at least used his words to check in on you.

Your gaze slid over to his, and what he found there was less than promising. “Exactly how you’d imagine it would.”

Hunter tilted his helmet at you. It was the only gesture of reassurance he could offer with Echo, and soon to be more of the squad, around. “Well, we’re hitting the ground running today. We’re heading back to the village to check in with the residents and see if there’s anything we missed.”

“Thank you.” Your stare softened at him. “I wish I could go with you, but… duty calls.”

Hunter released a gentle exhale as the sounds of doors opening surrounded them. “As always.”

“Mornin’, everyone!” Wrecker sounded as joyful as usual before he clapped a hand on Hunter’s shoulder. He grunted, but stood his ground and turned his helmet to face his brother. “You actually joining us today, Sarge?”

Hunter nodded in Tech’s direction. “He cleared me for action.”

Tech pushed his goggles up and kept his finger lifted. “To be clear, it was the scanner that provided the data. I simply analyzed it for the most accurate results.”

The doors to the senator’s suite opened, and you stepped aside as Crosshair joined the group and somehow responded to Tech’s statement. “How many times are you going to explain that to us?”

Meanwhile, Hunter sighed at Crosshair’s actions. “I told you all already, we shouldn’t be reentering through that passage unless we have to. We don’t want to draw unnecessary attention to it.”

Crosshair lifted his helmet to show Hunter his unimpressed look. “And having one of us standing directly outside the secret door isn’t drawing attention?”

Hunter tightened his jaw. “I just don’t think the senator would appreciate us coming and going from her suite unannounced.”

“I trust you all, Sergeant.” Your voice captured Hunter’s attention, and he turned his helmet to face you. “If it calls for less suspicion than reentering through the main exits, then it’s fine by me.”

“Ha!” Wrecker nudged Echo, who was closest to his other side. “She really is one of us, now.”

Hunter furrowed his brow at whatever unspoken conversation Wrecker was referencing, but you continued before he could ask about it. “I don’t take that compliment lightly, Wrecker. Thank you.” You beamed at Wrecker and set a hand on his armored shoulder. Hunter smiled. “I should get going, as should all of you. If you need to report,” you paused and turned to face Hunter, “you know how to reach me.”

Hunter nodded dutifully. You offered one last smile before you began to walk down the long corridor, where some of your personal guards were already waiting. He watched you until you reached them, his chest weighing heavier and heavier the further you got.

“Hunter?” Echo’s voice snapped Hunter’s attention back to the squad. He faced Echo, whose helmet had tilted at him. “Our orders?”

“Right.” Hunter had an easy time focusing back on the mission. He had yet to lead his squad into a single mission failure, after all. “We’re heading back to the village. We’ll do a sweep to make sure the hostiles are gone, and we’ll take any information we can get from the locals. We have to figure out where and how they’ll strike next.”

The squad nodded, and Hunter led them out of the capitol. Silence sat between the group until they reached the woods that surrounded the village. Wrecker was the one who walked up to Hunter’s side and started to speak. “So, Hunter, you’re really feeling better?”

Hunter tilted his head towards his brother. “Yeah, Wrecker.” He patted his hand against Wrecker’s back. “It was just a partial hit. Don’t even worry about it.”

“But it still led to a great deal of bleeding,” Tech insisted. “Had it not been for the senator, it is quite possible you could have bled out.”

“Had it not been for who?” Echo’s interest was clearly piqued.

Hunter sighed and palmed his helmet. He should’ve known better than to think he would be leaving all this back at the capitol.

“It was the senator who bandaged Hunter’s wound.” Tech’s matter-of-fact tone only made the information sound even worse somehow. “He told me so this morning after I had assessed it.”

Crosshair’s tone had just as much amusement as Echo’s did. “Were you going to tell the rest of us that too, Hunter?”

“If it ever became relevant, then yes, I would have.”

Wrecker suddenly gasped. It alerted Hunter until he heard what his brother had to say. “Wait… so that means the senator had to see—.”

Hunter wasn’t going to let him finish that sentence. “We get it, Wrecker.”

Tech couldn’t help himself from providing even more of the context Hunter had given him earlier. “Hunter was not conscious at the time.”

Crosshair huffed. “Bummer.”

Echo was next. “Do you wish you had been?”

Hunter chuckled. “Why would anyone rather be unconscious?”

Echo gave his helmet a quick tilt at that. “Fair point.”

Wrecker shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s kinda nice sometimes.”

“Not when it happens like that.” Hunter gave him a quick look. “Trust me.”

“It does at least explain your long absence before our rendezvous.” Tech, as always, was trying to do the math. “Though I can’t imagine where you could have possibly kept cover for so long.”

“An old base.” Hunter pointed to the far distance. “From the senator’s freedom fighting days. She got us both there.”

“While you were out?” Wrecker let out a whistle. “Wow, she’s even stronger than I thought.”

Hunter smiled to himself. “Yeah, she’s full of surprises.”

Crosshair’s voice was low as he responded. “You would know.”

Hunter curled up his fists at his sides, but said nothing. The group snickered amongst themselves as Hunter reached out with his senses. He was met with the familiarity of the village, which threatened to bring back memories he couldn’t afford to dwell on—especially not while he was alone with his squad. “We’re here.”

Hunter stopped the group and turned to face them. His straightened posture alone caused all of them to follow suit, turning themselves from teasing brothers to focused soldiers.

“The first priority is sweeping the village, and making sure the people are still safe.” Hunter scanned the group. “Wrecker, Crosshair, and Tech, take the western half. Echo and I will take the other. Rendezvous back in the middle if you haven’t found anything.”

“Roger that, Sarge!” Wrecker gripped his blaster tighter and followed Crosshair and Tech to their side of the village. Hunter nodded at Echo before they headed for their half. He tried not to dwell on what had happened the last time he was there.

But Echo knew him well, even if he hadn’t been around as long as his other brothers. “Hunter.” His voice was low, almost like a warning, as Hunter used his senses to scout the area. “What really happened at that base?”

Hunter shot Echo a quick look. “What are you talking about?”

Echo huffed. “I know we’ve been getting on your case about the senator ever since we started this mission, but this morning was different.” He tilted his helmet at Hunter. “I felt that tension.”

Hunter tightened his jaw. “You’re reading into things too much.”

Echo scoffed. “Am I?” Hunter didn’t respond to that. Echo took his silence as an invitation to go on. “Look, Hunter, they didn’t make me an ARC trooper just because of my skills. It was also because of my ability to read people and situations. And that?” Echo let out a curt laugh. “That situation was easier to read than any plan I’ve ever had to decipher.”

Hunter exhaled. The heaviness of it all began to weigh on his shoulders as they pushed on through the village. “Don’t worry about it.” He had been doing enough worrying about it, about you, for the two of them—for all of them, if he was being honest.

Echo remained silent for a minute or so before he spoke out again. “Did you kiss her?”

Hunter’s helmet had never whipped around faster than it did then. “What?”

Echo met his brother’s gaze. “Is that what happened in the base? Did you two kiss?”

Hunter considered his next words carefully. Of course it had to be Echo, the one member of the squad he could never get away with lying to, who would figure it out first. With a small breath, Hunter prepared to answer. “Even if we did—.”

Echo set a firm hand on Hunter’s chestplate, keeping him from walking ahead. He leaned his helmet close to Hunter’s, keeping his voice low for the sake of privacy. “So, you did kiss?”

Hunter’s helmet tilted. “I said even if we did, it wouldn’t matter.” His gaze fell, though his visor remained where it was, as he spoke the same truth Echo had warned him of days ago. “The senator knows the rules, and so do I.”

Echo dropped his hand and gave his head an incredulous shake. “Come on, Hunter. Fuck the rules.” He pointed his finger into Hunter’s chestplate, near his heart. “You’re in love.”

“Love?” Hunter raised both his hands and shook his helmet. “Echo, that’s a big reach.”

“Is it?” Echo crossed his arms. “I know what I saw this morning.”

Hunter exhaled and set a hand on his hip. “Were you not the one reminding me of the rules just a few days ago?”

Echo chuckled. “Maybe I just wanted to know that you were serious about this.”

Hunter’s visor fell as he began to think through it all. It was an impossible task, especially with Echo’s expectant gaze on him. “I… don’t really know what to make of it.” He raised his gaze back to Echo’s. “All I know is that the senator has a duty to fulfill, and so do I.” Hunter gestured with his helmet to the village around them. “That’s what I have to focus on.”

Hunter started to walk forward past Echo, but he was stopped by Echo’s hand on his armored shoulder. He turned his helmet to face his brother. “Just remember, Hunter.” Echo nodded, giving Hunter’s shoulder a gentle pat. “You deserve to be happy, too.”

Hunter was too shocked by Echo’s words to say anything in response. Thankfully, Echo didn’t expect him to. He dropped his hand and continued walking, remaining in stride alongside Hunter as they continued their search. His words, however, were seared into Hunter’s memory, clouding each sense that he tried to reach out with.

Happiness wasn’t a luxury he had granted himself ever since he was put in command of his squad countless years ago. Could it really be something he prioritized, especially in a situation as delicate and dangerous as this?

That wasn’t a question he could answer, at least not now. Not when it felt like this village was still smoking from the explosion that had taken both you and him with it. No one was hurt this time around, but if Hunter didn’t focus on the task set before him, then people—your people—could get hurt next time.

Not to mention the fact he had his own squad to look after, his brothers. They were quite literally bred for war, and until he got them all onto the other side of it safely, he would continue to focus on them above all else.

Even if his mind, and his rapidly beating heart, would often drift back to you.

Hunter and Echo’s search was fruitless, and it wasn’t long before they met back up with the others in the middle of the village. The people there were frightened, but Hunter didn’t blame them. He still tried his best to coax them into conversation, attempting to get anything that would be useful. It was a vain effort.

“Hunter.” Echo’s sigh broke Hunter out of another pointless conversation. Hunter nodded at the villager to dismiss himself before he turned to his brother, who had removed his helmet to reveal his furrowed brow. “We’re not getting anywhere with this.”

Hunter exhaled a deep breath of his own and removed his helmet as well. “I know.” His gaze scanned the area as he thought through their next steps. “Now that they know someone’s countering these attacks, they’re being even more secretive.”

Crosshair slid into the conversation with a tilted helmet. “I still think somebody’s hiding something.”

Hunter raised an eyebrow at him. “We’re not gonna interrogate these people, Crosshair. We’ve already been bothering them enough.”

“They will not offer us a solution, anyway.” Tech was tapping away on his datapad as he joined the quickly forming huddle. “Considering our sweep for hostiles directly after the blast came up fruitless, they had already retreated at that point. Clearly, they were not ready for such a failure, and falling back was their best option.”

“Because they weren’t trained fighters.” Echo’s stare looked off into the distance as he spoke. Hunter’s brow knit together, but before he could speak, Echo returned Hunter’s stare and continued. “That’s what the senator said that night.”

Hunter ached just thinking of you. His jaw tightened as he continued to hold Echo’s gaze. “What are you getting at, Echo?”

Echo lifted a hand to gesture to their surroundings. “This place was an easy target for non-trained fighters. All they had to do was plant a bunch of explosives and set them off. Hunter…” he paused to convey his severity, “they’re saving their trained fighters for something.”

“Or someone.” Tech finished the thought Echo hadn’t spoken aloud. Hunter went cold, an icy chill running along his spine and souring his stomach. “An ingenious theory, Echo, that is quite sensible.” His attention went back to his datapad for a moment. “It is very likely that the trained fighters will strike the senator’s home village next. It would not only be a desirable target, but it would also achieve their goal of drawing her out.”

“We need to find out when this attack will happen.” Hunter’s response was immediate. He had to put one foot in front of the other and continue planning. His mind was given no other option. “When it does, we have to convince the senator to stay behind.”

Wrecker was the one to chuckle at Hunter’s words. “Good luck with that, Sarge. She almost loves action as much as I do.”

Hunter couldn’t even entertain the thought of you being there. “She’ll do what’s best for her people, and her people need her alive.” He nodded at the four pairs of eyes that looked upon him. “She’ll stay.”

“It is also possible that they will send a group to the planetary capitol in the event that she has stayed behind.” Tech offered up this information so nonchalantly that it added even more fuel to Hunter’s panicked fire. “Without us there, she would be more vulnerable to such a targeted attack.”

Hunter’s armored shoulders rose with a breath as he fell upon the realization. “That warning they sent during the banquet… this is how they’re making her choose.”

“It’s a lose-lose.” Echo looked around the group, but pointedly at Hunter, as he continued the sergeant’s train of thought. “If she stays, she’ll be at risk. If she doesn’t, then they’ll know she’s countering their attacks.”

“Why don’t we split up?” Wrecker offered the idea with a lilt of hopefulness. “One or two of us can stay at the capitol, and the rest can fight.”

Hunter shook his head. “We can’t split our forces. We have no idea how many fighters we’ll be against at the village, and that’s not a chance I’m willing to take. These aren’t battle droids.”

Hunter worked his jaw, quieting the volume of his worries to focus on a new plan—but there was nothing he could, not without you there to offer your own input. He couldn’t speak on your behalf when the stakes were this high.

“It’ll be her choice.” Hunter narrowed his eyes as he looked at his squad. “And whatever that choice is, we’re standing behind her.”

Everyone nodded. Hunter smiled with satisfaction and turned to face Tech.

“How far is the village from here?”

Tech was quick to map it out. “About a standard hour on foot.”

Hunter nodded and slid his helmet over his head. “Get ready for a scenic walk, boys. We should at least make sure this theory of ours is true.”

Wrecker grumbled, but didn’t make any other protests. Hunter led the group with Tech, and they remained silent the entire way there. Hunter’s mind was much too busy for him to say anything, and he was working overtime not to dwell on his worries for you. This would only put more pressure on you, and that was the last thing he wanted.

Once Tech had given him the warning of their proximity to the village, Hunter reached out with his senses. It wasn’t long before he held up his fist to stop the group, lowering himself closer to the ground and sifting the dirt through his gloved fingers.

It told him a story of fighters on foot, boots running through the soil in a nearly endless stream. When he closed his eyes, he could hear the rumblings of a massive camp, nothing distinct enough to make out but surely enough to confirm their presence.

“There’s a camp.” Hunter rose back to his full height and pointed to the source. “Let’s try to scope it out.”

He quickened his pace, and the squad followed suit. When they got close, Hunter stopped them again, instructing Crosshair to get up high. The rest of them waited, and Hunter drew out his binocs to see if he could catch sight of them at their lower position.

“I see it.” Crosshair’s words captured everyone’s attention as they looked up at him. “Good call not splitting our forces, Hunter. I’m clocking at least two dozen of them here.”

Hunter sighed, lowering one of his hands from the binocs to tighten it into a fist. “And they probably have more forces doing patrols.” He slid his binocs back into his pack and motioned for Crosshair to climb down. “Looks like we’ve got our work cut out for us. We’ll come back tomorrow to see if we can get an estimate on when the attack will happen. For now…”

Hunter paused, staring at the sky through the trees. With all their searching and traveling, he hadn’t realized just how quickly time was passing.

“We have to head back. Once we’ve gotten some chow, I’ll brief the senator.”

With that, Hunter began to lead the way back to the capitol. The silence on the way back was solely centered around Hunter, as he heard the chatter of the squad behind him throughout the journey. All he could do was plan out exactly how he would confess this to you.

There was only one thing he knew for certain: satisfying his own desires had just become even less of a priority.

Hunter remained lost in his thoughts even as they returned to the capitol and had a meal. He was working out countless plans and strategies, seeing if there were any scenarios in which you wouldn’t have to make such a choice. Time and time again, he came up with nothing. They had crafted a brilliant strategy. It made Hunter miss fighting battle droids.

Tech and Echo were the first two on watch, with Echo joining Hunter outside the doors to the senator’s suite. Tech had already made his way to the secret door on the outside. Hunter exchanged a nod with Echo before he knocked on the doors, preparing himself for a briefing that was going to be harder than any other.

Your doors opened in short order, and for a moment, Hunter enjoyed the sweeping wave of relief and comfort he earned simply from laying his eyes on you. The way you beamed at him suggested that you were doing the very same. “Sergeant.” You bowed your head in greeting before turning to Echo. “Echo.”

“Ma’am.” Echo returned your slight bow.

“Senator, I have our briefing ready for you.” Hunter gestured with his gaze to the inside of your suite. “May I?”

You stepped back and lifted your arm. “By all means, Sergeant. I’m eager to hear what you have to say.”

Hunter tightened his jaw, and he struggled not to make it obvious. He could feel Echo’s stare burning into the back of his head until the doors closed, leaving you and him alone inside your suite. If he wasn’t holding such a new, heavy weight on his shoulders, Hunter would have had half a mind to continue what you both had started in that secret base.

“How did it go?” It was your hopeful voice that drew Hunter from the dark depths of his mind. His stare found yours, and the way your expression started to fall meant that he wasn’t as good at hiding from you as he hoped he would be.

Hunter focused on the positives first. “There wasn’t much in the village, but you’ll be happy to hear that everyone there is okay.”

You exhaled a heavy breath and closed your eyes, lowering your head for a long moment. “Good.” Your eyes reopened and settled back on Hunter again. “I really needed to hear that.”

Hunter was able to manage a small yet genuine smile. “I’m glad I could deliver some good news.”

Your brow furrowed. “What’s the bad news?”

Of course you still saw that written all over him. A single smile wasn’t going to fool someone as intelligent as you. Hunter took a deep breath and looked to the side for a moment, waiting until he had regathered his thoughts to take a step closer to you and speak in a low voice. “We know where the next attack will be.”

Hunter paused, giving you time. You said nothing, but the way your fingers fumbled together over your middle spoke for you.

“They’re targeting your home village.”

You stared at him in pure disbelief for a few breaths. Hunter searched every inch of your gaze for something, but what he found instead was the quickened pace of your heartbeat. It was different from the way it had drummed so rhythmically against his ears when your lips were on his; this was a panicked beat, one that Hunter was used to hearing so much more often.

You raised a hand to your lips before you spoke. “When?”

Hunter shook his head. “We’re not sure yet. Our goal for tomorrow is finding that out.” He sighed, making sure you had nothing else to say before he went on. “That’s not all of it.”

Your brow rose, but the defeat in your gaze was hard to overlook. Hunter wished more than anything he didn’t have to say the words, even if you had to hear them.

“They’re the trained fighters you once fought with. We found at least two dozen at a camp by your village. Right now, our biggest theory is that on the night of the attack, they’ll send a few fighters here to go after you.”

Hunter gave you time to process his words, and that’s when he saw the defeat completely overtake you. “That means…” You couldn’t bring the truth to light.

Hunter would do that for you, too. “They’re going to make you choose, Senator, just as they warned you at the banquet.” His gaze fell from yours. “Either they’ll find you here, or they’ll find you there.”

When Hunter gained the faith to look at you again, his chest constricted at the sight of your hand covering the side of your face. Your eyes were closed as if you were in pain, and the way your free hand was gripping your arm suggested the very same thing. Hunter took another small step closer to you.

“I’m sorry you have to make this choice. I know I told you before that you wouldn’t have to.” Hunter nodded, even if your closed eyes kept you from seeing it. “But you don’t have to do it alone. We’re standing behind whatever decision you make.”

You continued to remain where you were for a few more moments. When you reopened your eyes and lowered your hand, Hunter saw the sparkling tears at your waterline. His brow wrinkled together as a familiar sense of strong concern washed over him.

“Senator?” Hunter’s voice was soft as he spoke. He reached a hand towards your face, but hesitated, instead resolving to set it upon your shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I just…” Your breath caught, the tears shining in your eyes even more as you avoided Hunter’s gaze. “Nothing is working. Diplomacy is failing, they’re outnumbering us in combat, and I just… I don’t know what to do.”

You paused, your stare slowly sliding to meet Hunter’s again. His own heart crumbled apart when he saw the pure devastation and desperation in your eyes.

“I never wanted any of this. They were the ones who chose me.” You closed your eyes and shook your head. “I’m tired, I’m angry, and…” you paused, your eyes reopening to meet Hunter’s as your voice lowered to a broken whisper, “I’m scared, Hunter.”

You reached out in a subtle movement, but Hunter understood it and accepted it before could even make sense of it. He set his helmet aside and took you into his arms, letting you hold tight to his middle as your head fell into the space between his armor and his neck. One of his hands pressed upon your back as the other held your head in place, and his chin rested upon your head as he reached out with his senses.

You were taking small breaths to steady yourself, though it at least didn’t sound like you were crying. Your heartbeat was still faster than usual, but so was his, and he had no doubt that this intimate touch was responsible for it. But Hunter couldn’t, and didn’t, dwell on that. What mattered most was putting you at ease.

“I’m sorry this is happening to you.” Hunter closed his eyes for a moment. “I wish I could make it stop. I had hoped my whole squad could make that possible.”

“It’s not your fault.” Your voice was slightly muffled by Hunter’s armor as you responded. “You’ve helped in more ways than you know.” You paused. “You all have.”

“And we’ll continue to.” Hunter gained the faith to ease himself away from you. Still, he kept himself close, and he finally let himself touch your face. His gloved hands held either side of it as he nodded at you. “You don’t have to do this alone. Not as long as we’re here.”

Your hands found his wrists and held them tightly. Hunter was pleased to see the ghost of a smile tugging on your lips. “Thank you.”

Hunter returned your small smile. “No need.” His brow furrowed as he returned to a state of soft severity for you. “You don’t have to make this choice yet. There’s still time for that. What you need to do right now is rest.”

He caught your gaze flickering to his lips for a moment before you nodded. “I’ll try my best.”

“Good.” Hunter bent down to kiss your forehead before he could think better of it. For as new as the action was, it was instinctual, and he didn’t have to give it a second thought. He pulled away and dropped his hands from your face as he instead turned to grab his helmet again. “I should get some rest, too. Tomorrow could be a long day.”

Hunter saw you nodding once again in his periphery. “Yes, that’s a wise decision.”

Once his helmet was tucked underneath his arm, Hunter stopped and caught your stare. For a long moment, he considered staying and allowing you to drown your worries in the pleasure of what you had shared just two nights ago. Then, reality fell into place once again, and he remembered the burning feeling of Echo’s stare as he had entered the suite. Hunter bowed his head and spoke in a low voice. “Goodnight, Senator.”

Hunter turned and began to walk towards the doors, but your voice stopped him in his tracks. “Hunter?”

He turned on his heel, making himself face you again. You walked up to him and caressed the tattooed half of his face, pressing your lips against his other cheek. The skipping heartbeat he heard was no doubt his own as you pulled away with lingering lips and a warm smile.

“Sweet dreams.”

Hunter nodded, returning your smile before he summoned all his strength to turn around and keep going. There was a lot that awaited him on the other side of the door: a smug Echo, a long night of restless sleep, and an early watch shift that would no doubt be full of more planning. But it was the warmth of your words and actions that would make it all bearable, even if Hunter couldn’t let himself ask for more of it just yet.

chapter 4 ⟸ series masterlist ⟹ chapter 6

hunter tag list: @zenrobbins0021 @cw80831 @yunggoblin @maddiedrmr @Molmcb

senator’s shadow tag list: @violetlilly2020 @jellybeanstacey0519 @dindadjarin

[pistatsia]

Karasu and control

I've been thinking about this for a while, and this part of Hiori's novel (previous reblog) just brought it back to my attention.

Karasu really likes to control things. I'm not saying he's a control freak, of course, but he certainly likes to feel a safe base beneath his feet. You can see this in his play style (when he gathers all the available information and acts only after that; his choice of France) and his fear of water (if I remember correctly, the thing that scares him the most in it is the unknown). AND also from the whole Marisa (his childhood crush) story (assuming it's true lol) - he's not the type to rush into anything: neither in relationships nor hobbies. I don't think he would have chosen to join Blue Lock if he wasn't really sure in his abilities. He's really mature about things like that.

I was thinking in the context of him probably going to university (data analysis please!) in addition to his sports career, since he seems like a really rational guy when it comes to serious stuff? He gives Hiori some great advice about not wasting his time on something he doesn't like, Ego mentions that his greatest skill is his analytical ability - he never acts because-he-just-feels-it, he was the one who argued with the referee in the U-20 game about Rin's injury (so responsible!), and generally acts very logically (except for the whole Hiori and his legs theme lol). I don't think he would be able to fully relate on the sport, he certainly knows about the statistics of failures and broken careers.

He loves football, of course, but he is really right about "people who only play football can't become great players". But that's more because for Karasu, it's unrealistic to be stable (which is sometimes a deciding point in the game) when your whole life depends on it. When everything relies on you winning. Karasu really has a glimpse of Snuffy's philosophy in that, and it's great to see that in the character: Failing at one thing doesn't say anything about you. And you should always be more than one thing to have the right mental balance.

That's what makes him so strong - not that he'll never fail. Of course one day he will.

But rather the knowledge that he has done everything to be stable in case of failure; that any possible failure will not ruin his life. 

Because he has made sure that his back is covered.

[comikadraws]

sasuke stans on this site perceive any discussion of sasuke's behavior that isn't 100% endorsement as "hate" and even aggression towards them as fans. that's why they think the fandom actually hates him. it does not, and it never has.

Okay, dear Anon. As you can see, I delayed this ask for a week before responding to first get a couple of additional opinions by running polls and collecting data (I was hoping it's just my perception for a while, haha).

The thing is, the majority of my followers and I seem to agree with this sentiment (at least to a degree). And not just them, but the statistics I've gathered in regards to Tumblr tell a similar story of Sasuke stans perceiving Sasuke and his fanbase as victims of a cruel fandom (though I did not measure the legitimacy of Sasuke criticism in any way, but I commented on it here).

And frankly, all of this effort is probably making me look rather silly. However, this is actually pretty important to me because Sasuke stans are the bane of my existence as a regular, not die-hard Sasuke and Itachi fan.

Before I continue, let me clarify that I personally differentiate between Sasuke fans and Sasuke stans. There are Sasuke fans/stans (a minority) that match Anon's description and there are those Sasuke fans (the majority) who don't. Also, the polls and counts I made are not necessarily representative - if at all. But they are the closest thing to objective data I have.

First of all, people's opinion about Sasuke stans (particularly what I assume to be Itachi fans but that is not to say non-Itachi fans don't agree*). The overwhelming majority agrees that Sasuke stans are very defensive when it comes to legitimate criticism of Sasuke and will be particularly hateful toward other characters.

Second, people's opinions about Sasuke and Itachi and who gets more hate/defense posts in comparison (particularly what I assume to be more Sasuke fans than Itachi fans*). The overwhelming majority perceive that Itachi gets better treatment from the fandom than Sasuke.

Also, beware that many of my followers are pro-Itachi and that several Sasuke stans may have already blocked me. This may have affected the results.

Now, let's compare this with actual numbers. I counted Tumblr posts with the following tags from 01.01.2024-06.09.2024:

Posts tagged "pro Sasuke": 247 Posts tagged "anti Sasuke": 16 Posts tagged "pro Itachi": 27 Posts tagged "anti Itachi": 54

The method is not perfect (there are most certainly anti-posts and pro-posts not tagged as such; it is entirely possible that Sasuke fans and/or Itachi fans are better at tagging) but this result seems to contradict the perception that many people apparently have, which is that Itachi gets treated better or is more loved than Sasuke by the fandom on Tumblr.

In fact, the pro-Itachi posts on this site get drowned out by anti-Itachi posts. Sasuke-positivity, meanwhile, overshadows absolutely everything else.

To visualize this discrepancy (even though the nature of the statistics is not exactly comparable), I put the statistics and poll results in comparison. It highlights just how many fans believe that Sasuke is more hated than Itachi when Tumblr (the site where that poll was conducted) shows the reverse.

The truth is, of course, that Sasuke is one of the most beloved characters in Naruto. Take follower counts, for example.

On Tumblr, the #sasuke tag has 15k followers. For Itachi, it is 9.8k.

On Twitter, the daily Itachi account has nearly 6k followers. For the daily Sasuke account, this number is nearly 41k.

In 8 out of 9 character polls, Sasuke won against Itachi - the only exception being a contest for "who gets a designated manga chapter" that is not representative, considering the attention garnered by minor characters like Sakumo Hatake and Shisui Uchiha (who, until that point, never even made it into the top 50 during character polls).

But back to hate, characters that are not Sakura or Hinata (who usually become the victims of ship wars instead) usually receive most of their anti-posts through Sasuke fans.

Specifically, the statistic about "anti Itachi"-tagged posts reflects my personal experiences, which is that almost no Itachi fan on Tumblr will be a Sasuke hater, but conversely, particularly hardcore Sasuke fans often tend to be Itachi haters.

Results include posts from @/naruto-general-opinions and @/naruto-shipping- confessions which cannot be attributed to either "pro Sasuke" or "not pro Sasuke" accounts due to their anonymity. They have been counted in as "not pro Sasuke". Had they not been counted, the results would've turned out in favor of the notion that "pro Sasuke" accounts post more hate.

And we are not just talking about legitimate criticism in these cases. There are posts literally calling Itachi "born rotten" or a "bootlicking shitstain on the world". Somebody reblogging my poll requested more Itachi hate from the fandom while tagging it #pro sasuke. And I still hope it was all bait.

If you want to read more about me venting about the double standards that Sasuke stans have for Itachi and Sasuke, you can read this rant, which further comments on Anon's ask.

But without getting into details, Sasuke stans are souring my fandom experience - both due to their hatred of Itachi as well as their opinionated behavior when it comes to Sasuke (which, sometimes, seems inseparable from one another, even when hypocritical).

I've personally gotten harassed by a Sasuke stan before for an opinion unrelated to Sasuke (same post was then miraculously tagged #anti itachi). Other people had their intelligence insulted. When I see fanart of Sasuke, memes, shitposts, or analyses of his character, I wonder to myself "is this a hardcore Sasuke stan willing to be hostile to me at the drop of a hat" rather than "hey! what a cool post. can we be friends?".

And I don't want to play any victim cards about "oohhh, my favorite character, and his fans have it so much worse than you" because that is honestly not the point. The point is that I am tired and that my followers and I wish for Sasuke fans on this site to dial it down or call out this type of behavior. I don't know what makes them act this way, whether they just feel justified to hate on Itachi because they personally feel Sasuke is over-hated in an act of revenge or if they have just somehow managed to conflate anti Konoha with anti Itachi opinions. Regardless, many of us Itachi fans are Sasuke fans as well but we cannot engage with this part of the fandom because it has become so toxic as of late.

It is genuinely driving down my motivation to create or engage with any pro-Sasuke content and I am considering just stopping engaging with any of it altogether.

*I've managed to somewhat identify the fan groups who voted based on my other polls. The main takeaway is that my blog is very pro-Itachi, hence it attracts more Itachi fans than posts appearing in Tumblr's #sasuke tag would.

The first poll (opinion on Sasuke stans) was designed not to be shown to Sasuke fans. The second (anti vs defense posts) had multiple sister polls. An origin poll about "who gets better treatment" from the fandom (which appeared in the #pro Sasuke #pro Sasuke Uchiha #Sasuke #Sasuke Uchiha #anti Itachi #anti Itachi Uchiha tags and scored similar results to the hate vs defense poll above), two polls about "who gets more hate" and "who gets more defense" (that did not appear in any tags, only on my followers' dashboards, and scored results contradictory to the ones above), and multiple other polls about "who has worse trauma", "who is prettier", and "who is more genocidal" (all of which had more sympathetic results toward Itachi, which is typical for my blog but, evidently, not the majority of Tumblr).

It is safe to assume that my other polls genuinely did not breach into the pro Sasuke bubble.

[dronebiscuitbat]

Give me a Reason: Chapter 12- "Petals"

Uzi sat on the park bench scrolling through songs on her phone, the air around her was warm and humid, summer seemed to come faster every year and this year was no different. It was marginally cooler in Copper, the valley it resided in shielding it from the sun's rays most of the day, but not by much.

The park itself was nothing special, a small playground in the middle with a few covered seating areas around it, she was just on the outskirts, sitting under a dogwood tree that was spitting it's big, pink flower petals out at everyone who passed it. She'd already had to pick several out of her hair.

And at exactly 6:30pm. A dark grey BMW pulled into the parking lot, and Uzi looked up at it before looking back down at her phone.

N:I'm here! Where are you?

Nvm! I see you!

Uzi blinked, looking back at the fancy BMW that had just pulled in and sighing, oh so N's family had money, money. That made a bit of sense, though she was a little surprised he'd never mentioned it before.

She stood up, dusting herself of and trying to look as presentable as possible, suddenly feeling a little self conscious in her tank top and (currently open) jacket.

A tall woman with long brown hair and gorgeous emerald green eyes stepped out of the sedan, doing a once over of the park before the passenger door opened and out stepped N. A hoodie and jeans despite the temperature. (Though it's not like she had room to talk)

N pointed at her excitedly, which made her freeze for a moment before awkwardly smiling. Stepping up towards them a bit warily.

“Um, heeey?” Oh fuck everything, she was so awkward. Someone please come rescue her from this conversation.

“Hey Uzi! This is Tessa! The chef of the food you like so much!” She winced, they hadn't shared lunch that often, but being put on the spot so suddenly made her heart speed up and breath get caught in her throat.

“Oh-uh, it's nice to meet you. I guess.” She curled in a bit on herself, feeling more out of place then ever. She felt her face getting warm despite her efforts to stop it.

“Oooh, N didn't tell me his ‘partner' was the girl he met on the first day.” She side eyed N, a smirk growing on her face as she turned to him.

“You didn't lie to mom to go on a date did you little bro~?” She teased, earning a squeek as N turned an impressive shade of cherry red, something that seemed to also spread to Uzi, as she looked down to hide her own fluster.

It wasn't a date! It was an exhibition to gather data! No romantic undertones at all! Nothing romantic about hunting for ghosts!

“Tessa!” N seethed, being the first time Uzi had seen him look genuinely upset since she'd known him. “Its-Its not a date! And I didn't lie! She is my project partner!” He defended, fidgeting his hands.

“Riiiight, alrighty then. It's nice to meet you too Uzi, N was right, you are very pretty.” Tessa winked at her, and Uzi felt whatever oxygen she had escape in a tiny gasp as N looked like he was about to perish on the spot.

“I'll be back at ten sharp. Have fun you two!” Tessa waved them off, chuckling to herself at the way she embarrassed her younger brother before hopping back in the car. N was still stuck ramrod straight, face redder then beetroot.

There was a moment of very tense silence, before N cleared his throat, trying to calm down a little.

“Ah-uh… don't mind her, she likes to embarrass me…” He explained, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, smiling like a fool.

Uzi gave a half-laugh. “I-Its okay. She's your older sister, it's kinda her job right?” Her hands gripping onto the bottom fluff of her jacket as she also tried to coax the heat from her face.

Right. She just likes to embarrass him. He probably never said that about her…

“You are- you are though.” He murmured, looking down at his own feet to avoid looking anywhere near her.

Well that certainly didn't help calm her fluster.

“Oh… thank you?” She managed to get out before she had to look away, a dumb, smiley look on her face. She still didn't know how to take compliments, and this one made her heart feel all fluttery… for some reason.

“You have petals in your hair.” N said after a moment of awkwardly walking back to the bench she was at before. Pointing at the pink petals caught in her beanie and purple locks.

“Huh? Agh! Come on!” She shook her head and huffed, watching as a few petals floated down around her, crossing her arms.

“Uh… there's still… here.” He suddenly stepped incredibly close, hand brushing through her hair as he fished for the final stubborn flower, she almost wanted to yell at him for invading her personal space, instead all she could do was squeak and watch his arm like a mouse watching a cat.

The moment was over quickly. N pulling back with an intact pink flower in his hand, he was beaming, letting the flower float out of his hand and onto the ground gently.

“There! It really wanted to stay with you!” He giggled, fidgeting with his hands again.

Uzi blinked. Before figuratively slapping herself. Pulling herself put of whatever weird headspace she'd just fallen into and clearing her throat.

“T-thanks. Uh, you wanna start walking? The forest is thata-way.” She pointed forward through the park, past the fenced in area of it's well trimmed confines, the forest grew thick and untamed.

“Yeah! Let's go, I love doing anything!”

Next->

[chameleon66]

Laugh for Me!

Ships: Intrulogical (Logan x Remus)

Word count: 2785

Warnings: Censored swearing, Remus being Remus, mild angst, tickling, pranks, teasing (Let me know if I need to add anyhting)

Remus was unhinged in every way possible, good and bad. Part of the reasoning behind it was just who he was. I mean he is the personification of every morbid, sexual or intrusive thought that danced its way through Thomas’s head so no one could really blame him for being himself. But another part of it was because he enjoyed others' reactions to it, every reaction he got.

When Patton would scream in terror or when Virgil would hiss at him, it all filled him with glee. He loved observing the other sides reactions to his antics and figuring out what freaked them out and what didn’t freak them out.

But one reaction he did love getting from others was laughter, other’s laughing just made his heart figuratively explode in his chest. So after stewing on the fact that he enjoyed making other people laugh for a fraction of a second he created a new experiment and so began “Operation make every side laugh and figure out what makes them laugh so he can exploit it whenever necessary and also think of a shorter name for this operation.”

Surprisingly Virgil was the easiest one to figure out with minimal research, he laughed whenever Patton made a pun and Remus couldn’t tell at first if it was because it annoyed Logan when Patton made puns or if he actually liked them, so he would have to gather more data.

Luckily after some spying, he found that even when Logan wasn’t in the room when Patton made puns, the jokes always made Virgil laugh, quite honestly he was expecting something very different from ‘Charlie Frown’. But he wrote it down in his notes nonetheless as Virgil’s Hysterical Hacker (That's the name he came up with).

Patton was also elementary to figure out, as the happiest side he would laugh at a lot of things. At first Remus thought that Patton’s Hysterical Hacker would also be puns but it occurred to him Patton didn’t really laugh at puns, even if they weren’t made by himself but then Remus made a discovery.

One day as he went to the kitchen to fetch one of his Cock shaped popsicles from the fridge he found Patton sitting in the kitchen on the computer laughing like a hyena of helium, Remus almost had to be concerned if he was breathing or not.

When he asked Patton what was so funny he was shown a twenty minute compilation video of cat videos on youtube. Some cat’s fell into boxes and others played with balls of yarn but regardless it all made Patton squeal so Remus wrote ‘Cat videos’ down as Patton’s Hysterical Hacker.

Roman took a bit of investigating but as it turned out the answer was right in front of Remus' face, it was rooted in his dear twin brother’s love of Disney. One family love night it was Roman’s turn to choose the movie and he went with a Winnie the Pooh movie much to Remus’s, Janus’s and Logan’s displeasure.

Watching the movie was like folding socks level boring but then something caught Remus interest, after the gang tried to catch a ‘Backson’ all of them fell down a hole except for Piglet who then was challenged to find something to get them out of the hole with.

Piglet’s attempts were all stupid and fueled by miscommunication between Piglet and Rabbit. The scene wasn’t what caught Remus’s interest though it was Prince's not so charming reaction that got him listening.

Roman was rolling with laughter throughout the scene which led Remus’s to the ever so boring conclusion that Roman’s hysterical hacker was, family humor. Something that could be found in every Disney movie ever to exist.

Remus still wrote it down though and moved to the next side.

Janus was a challenge, despite having lived with him in the darkisde of the mindscape for most of his life, Janus never really went into hysterics, sure he’d chuckle but that was all Remus usually saw out of him.

But Remus did get an idea, Janus always seemed to be amused at other’s pain or displeasure like when Logan would get a papercut and Patton would insist on kissing it better or when Virgil’s pet spider Kat would escape his room and Patton would jump on the table and scream.

So as an experiment Remus poured a big helping of salt into Roman’s coffee one morning and when Roman began screaming of how it felt like he was ‘drinking the water of cold, unforgiving and salty seas’ Janus went into his deep villainous belly laugh at the scene. While Logan just rolled his eyes and Patton ran up to Roman all concerned like the father figment he was.

(Virgil was still asleep because he’s not a morning person)

That result said it all, Janus’s Hysterical hacker was another's pain/misfortune. Remus beamed as he wrote it down in his notes.

Hysterical Hackers

Emo widow — puns

Daddy — cat videos

Romano Cheese — family friendly humor

Lies and dulls — other’s pain

Logie bear —

But as Remus finished writing he came to a realization, there was one side left to figure out. His boyfriend. Logan.

You’d think that being his lover Remus could figure out his Hysterical Hacker with ease but now that Remus was thinking about it, he hadn’t really seen Logan laugh before. Maybe he had seen him chuckle once or twice but Remus couldn’t even recall a specific time he saw Logan do that.

That realization made Remus feel sad, He couldn’t remember a time his own boyfriend, the freaking light of his light, had laughed.

But that realization also made Remus more determined than ever to complete his research project. He'd make Logan laugh even if it was the last thing he would ever do.

It was time to get serious. Logan as the logical side didn’t spend time doodling on emotions or things like that so Remus had little to go off of. So that meant he’d need to experiment.

Remus cracked joke after joke around Logan day after day but came up empty handed each time.

Remus upped his pranking game on all of the other sides but each time Logan observed a prank happening he would only roll his eyes at the display.

Remus spied on Logan for hours on end but he got nothing even, when Logan was alone he wouldn’t laugh at anything.

Remus kept trying day after day to get Logan to laugh, he kept getting more and more desperate for it. It almost became like a craving to hear Logan laugh; it was starting to drive Remus insane. He just had to hear Logan laugh, he just had to!

After a full week, Remus had run out of patience so that meant he would need to get information straight from the source and not through spying, experiments or research.

“Logan, I need your help.” Remus rose up into Logan’s room with no warning and interrupted the rhythm of clattering keys of Logan’s computer.

Logan turned in his spinnable desk chair to face his boyfriend, Logan’s rise teemed with interest. They had collaborated on many different projects together and it only made sense really, they were a perfect pair for answering questions.

“Yes Remus, how may I be of assistance?” Logan asked, pushing his glasses up his nose.

Remus didn’t hesitate before he started explaining his predicament to Logan.

“So I started this research project a few weeks ago about what each of the sides hysterical hackers are.”

Logan’s head tilted to the side like a curious puppy’s would.

“Hysterical Hacker?”

“What makes each side laugh, like really laugh.” Remus contextualized

“Ok, please continue.”

“So after I figured out the other’s Hysterical Hackers and I moved on to yours but I couldn’t really find anything that makes you laugh even after I did experiments, observations, you know that sciency stuff you're supposed to do.”

Logan gave a hum of understanding before he got up from his desk chair before speaking again. “I must admit I don’t have much of a sense of humor.”

“Well I could tell that much.” Remus joked sarcastically but inside he was bursting with curiosity. He had come to find out what makes Logan laugh but it appeared that even Logan didn’t know.

“But if you wish, I can help you gather more data.” Logan offered and Remus didn’t hesitate before he responded.

“Yes, so where do we start Logie?”

“Firstly I’d like to hear what results you got with the other’s”

“Well P*ssys is family disney humor, papa bear’s is cat videos, Double dee’s is other pain and tickle me emo ‘s is pun of all things.”

Logan's face tinged with a blush and Remus wondered for a minute if it was something he said. Logan didn’t mind Remus’s colorful vocabulary and his usual reaction to it was an eyeroll, so what prompted the blushing?

Logan centered himself and pushed more words out. “I see, well then since everyone’s Hysterical Hacker is different, we can assume that mine is different too.”

“Lo lo are you ok, your face is all red?”

“I’m quite alright Remus.” Logan’s answer however did not satisfy Remus and he didn’t need the snake like lie detector to know Logan wasn’t telling him the truth. So Remus did the only Logical thing.

Remus ran forward full speed at Logan and tackled Logan down to the floor, sitting on his hips and hands pushing down on his belly to keep him down

“Re–Remus what are you doing?” Logan’s voice was up a few ocatives and the blush on his face got redder and spread across his face.

“You are going to tell me why you are all blushy or I will leave at the top of a broken ferris wheel until you confess!” Remus never made an empty threat and Logan knew this all too well.

“I’m fine–just get your hands off–off me!” Logan's voice also sounded a bit strained and Remus could help but wonder why. That’s when he noticed Logan’s belly trembling under his hands and before Remus could truly think it through he began skimming his fingers over Logan’s tummy.

Logan’s lips flattened and he bit down on his bottom lip which was enough for Remus to understand.

“Aww… is the nerd ticklish?” Remus asked in a baby voice that made Logan so flustered he couldn’t even get words out.

But that still answered Remus' question, Remus found a way to make Logan laugh and he’d say now was a pretty good time to exploit it.

Given Logan seemed to be able to hold in his laughter while Remus was tickling his tummy that meant it wasn’t his weak spot and that meant Remus would need to experiment some.

“Where are you ticklish Starlight?” Remus asked, pausing the movement of his hands for Logan to catch his breath and answer. Remus, being smart, also pulled both of Logan's hands above his head and put them both in his left hand freeing his right hand for tickling.

“I am not ticklish!” Logan insisted, which was the biggest lie Remus ever heard.

“Oh ok, so if I were to pinch your side then you wouldn’t react?” Remus' hand went to pinch Logan’s side and Logan’s mouth tightened around itself probably in an effort to not laugh.

“You need to laugh!” Remus stated. “I command you to laugh for me!” With that being said Remus started scribbling his nails into Logan’s side and then it was all over.

“Ahhhhhahahahahahah no no no REEhehehmush nohahahahahahaht there.” Logan’s laugh was so sweet and light and Remus became addicted to it almost instantly.

“No way Jose, now I need to find all of your tickle spots, so you make things easy and just tell me where your tickle spot is or I can tickle you everywhere until I find it.” Both of Remus’s options were not what Logan was hoping for but Remus was so adorable and maybe he would go easy on him if just told him.

All taken into consideration Logan got out in between laughs “Knees” and Remus did not need to told twice.

Remus let go of Logan’s hands and turned around and sat on Logan’s thighs. Remus' hands went onto Logan's knees and gave them each a squeeze, Logan let out a squeal and his leg began thrashing around, trying to escape.

“Someone’s got very ticklish knees.” Remus smirked at Logan as he began to trace circles around them which got Logan giggling. “But I don’t think your knees are what I’m looking for.”

“Wehehehehehell whahahahat are you lohohohahahaking for?” Logan’s speech was infested with giggles and it made the ever so stoic logical side look a little sillier.

“Your Hysterical Hacker of course!” Remus exclaimed, punctuating the sentence with a squeeze of Logan’s kneecap. “If you won’t laugh on your own, then I’ll make you.”

Well if Logan wasn’t flustered before, he most certainly was now. Remus stopped tickling his knees and Logan took the chance to catch his breath because he knew that Remus wasn’t done with him yet.

Remus carefully examined Logan trying to decide on where else to try tickling him. His sides and knees were certainly good spots but not the best spot clearly. Then Remus’s eyes fell on Logan’s feet which were still dressed in shoes and socks.

In all of the time Remus had spent spying on Logan he hadn’t really seen Logan take off his shoes much. Except when just before he went to bed.

Oh Remus was good.

Wasting no time Remus moved down and sat on Logan’s legs and began to untie the laces on Logan’s shoes, it didn’t take long for Logan to catch on to Remus' devious plan.

“No, no Remus! No, not there!” Logan tried pulling his legs out from Remus but with no success due to Remus’s weight being on top of him.

“Actually Lo lo you said you’d help me find your Hysterical Hacker and if you really want to help me then you’ll sit nice and still and let me experiment.” Remus’s voice had gone uncharacteristically flat as he talked to Logan and Logan found himself with no other options than just to sit there and wait.

Once Logan’s socks were off his feet Remus started Gently running his fingers down the arch of Logan’s foot and he was not expecting the reaction that he got.

“AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA *Snort* HAHAHAHA REHEHAHAHAH *Snort*”

Remus’s finger’s stopped and he looked back at Logan, who was bright red and now had a hand covering his mouth in embarrassment.

“Jesus f*cking christ Logan, did you just snort?” Remus asked in disbelief, were his ears playing tricks on him?

Logan looked away but nodded, Remus shocked expression turned into an ear splitting grin as he squealed to Logan. “Oh my f*ck that’s so adorkable!”

“No it’s not, it's embarrassing!” Logan argued, Remus's gears were now turning. Was this why Logan never laughed? Because he was embarrassed. Well wouldn’t do at all.

Remus grabbed Logan's foot again and began tickling the skin under his toes and that got Logan screaming.

“AAAHAHAHAHAHA *Snort* NHOHOHOHOHOHO *Snort* REHEHEHEHAHAHAMUHUHS.”

“Logan, you listen to me, and listen well!” Remus ordered to the laughing side beneath him. “Your laugh is amazing and you had better start laughing more often and if you don’t then I’ll tickle you until you pass out everyday, ok?”

“YEHEHEHEHAHAHAHSHSHSH OK JUHUHUHSTSTST STSTAHAHAP!”

Remus let go of Logan’s foot and got up off of him. Remus sat and watched his Boyfriend catch his breath and once he saw Logan lay limp on his bedroom floor he spoke to him.

“Hey, you alive?”

“Well no thanks to you.” Logan grumbled back to him.

“It was for science, my laughy Logie.” Remus insisted to Logan.

“Don’t call me that.” Logan though found himself giggling at the silly pet name.

“But it suits you so well.” Remus came down to Logan and gave him a kiss on the cheek which must have changed Logan’s mind because he didn’t argue back anymore.

“Well then I need to go update notes, I love you my laughy Logie.” Remus sunk down and rose back into his room to finish up his notes.

Hysterical Hackers

Emo widow — puns

Daddy — cat videos

Romano cheese — family friendly humor

Lies and dulls — other’s pain

Logie bear — tickling his sides, knees or feet (further research might be needed for my laughy Logie)

[katyahina]

Dark Souls 1 faces references Part 1: Oscar, Ricard, Solaire,

Heyyyy Dark Souls artists (all five of you who still use this website fdshfhd), I have great news for you! The curse of Dark Souls 1 (being horrendously undocumented in terms of NPC references) is over!!!

Long story short, I've seen a screenshot of Ciaran that made me question whether she actually had face data in versions of the DLC before Remastered. That started a long chain of me asking literally every person online that I could think of, with no one responding except for single Redditor redirecting me to modding community for Soulsborne, and there, out of waaaaay too many people, finally, someone was kind enough to help me out!

Their only contacts I have for reference are rayanwasalsotaken on Discord and RayanTheMad on Twitter! Yet I've only learned Rayan had a Twitter AFTER posting the screenshot dumps there, so.... 🤡 yeah that was frustrating. Twitter allow editting posts already!! They told me to be free to share the screenshots they gathered online instead of them (they said it was jarring for them to go spread images across social media and wikis. fair and valid.)! Posts will be in several parts as there are several angle shots and sometimes some explaining to do!

Oscar

Okay so, apparently, the boy does not have blue eyes! You know who does (kinda) have? RICARD!

Ricard

Well, actually not even blue, but a more dark shade of greyish green!

Nonetheless, it could be assumed blue from afar! ! And, fun fact! Whereas they look very similar, they are NOT identical!

Aside of having different eye color and Ricard's hair being more saturated (more yellow), they do have different eye shape too; Ricard's is more downturned! Ricard also has a slightly bigger nose! I guess even with limitations of NPC data of Dark Souls 1, they did try to point out the differences in vibe!

Solaire

Nothing new to see here, his screenshots are actually viral, unlike others, but here have a look anyway x) Interestingly enough, his face data changes the hairstyle in the bad ending of his questline; whereas Rayan didn't take screenshot of just that change specifically, it actually IS documented and confirmed!

(This screenshot is from different source: ( x )) I just think it is really good to know that even back in Dark Souls 1, developers bothered to add the lore appropriate changes that are not even possible to observe without datamining dhfhdsdf

Anastacia

Interestingly enough, while Anastacia uses unique model rather than player NPC base one, the data for NPC still exists in the game's files, apparently!

It is actually very convenient to have it, because her unique model does NOT have eyes texture:

At the same time, you can see that this 'unique model' appears to reuse assets from NPC data, as the model for hair is identical, and her face even has the same issue of eyebrows always being that brown color when they aren't grey. I wonder if NPC model lacked functionality intended (like NPC models weren't created to have this pose and animation), so they copy+pasted it mostly on unique asset?

Even with that, I suppose her hair is canonically more "yellow", and her player model is the only reference for her eye color.

Color of Estus Flask (the flask itself, not liquid inside of it!), appropriately enough!

Additionally, the hairbun is definitely something they've settled with even in her concept, so I suppose she holds "priority" for this hairstyle! RIP the braid though

____________________________________

Part 1: Oscar, Ricard, Solaire, Anastacia (you are here)

Part 2: Reah, Petrus, Vince, Nico, Leeroy

Part 3: Pharis/Evlana, Americus, Forest Hunter (Cleric), Beatrice, Dusk

Part 4: Shiva, Shiva's Bodyguard, Forest Hunter (Sorcerer), Forest Hunter (Thief), Forest Hunter (Bandit)

Part 5: Quelana, Jeremiah, Grana, Cut Content Character, Domhnall

Part 6: Darkmoon Knightess, Lautrec, Lautrec's Helper (Sealer), Lautrec's Helper (Warrior)

Part 7: Ingward, Kirk, Oswald, Havel, Tarkus

Part 8: Griggs, Logan, Rickert, Crystal Knight, Laurentius

Part 9: Patches, Siegmeyer, Sieglinde, Mildred, Crestfallen Knight, Crestfallen Merchant

* Shots of characters' faces datamined and provided by RayanTheMad on Twitter + rayanwasalsotaken on Discord!

* Twitter thread with the faces here: ( x )

* Data for characters Ciaran, Darkmoon Soldier (Balder) and Darkmoon Soldier (Berenike) doesn't exist and they simply copy the last face loaded, when there wasn't any loaded they use default placeholder data

[lets-try-some-writing]

Wait wait wait wait wait

Titan!Mars is giving sentience to the drones?! So Opportunity, Curiosity, Sojourner and the others are all gonna be baby bots some day??

(Also if we're talking moons and planets being titans, there is a moon that literally named Titan - one of Jupiter's moons I think)

Yup they will. It will certainly take a hot minute to get there, but Mars is doing his very best to make it happen. They need protomatter and exposure to the Allspark to come to full awareness, but Mars is giving them all he can in the meantime. It is yet another reason he is so dead set on getting the Allspark back if no one else will. His citizens need it to come to full awareness. He is their father now. A father never abandons his children.

Mars liked to think that if given the chance, he would have the will to fight against the Unmaker and consequently, Earth. However, upon receiving his six gifted citizens, his determination was largely shelved. His citizens would be sad if their mother Titan were to be destroyed, and quite frankly, Mars didn't want to mess up the education he'd already given his little ones.

Let Earth, Moon, and Unicron duke it out verbally. They were all idiots anyway. Mars was comparatively very normal. All he was doing was giving his little ones sentience. Hardly worthy of note really.

Sojourner was old by the standards of his fledgling race. Mars had to be careful with him. Sojourner had to be gently imbued with the shards of a spark, and even then, Sojourner struggled to reach full sentience without his other half, Marie Curie. Often the new mind of Sojourner would wander to his companion still on Earth, and Mars could only hold him close and hope that maybe Earth would convince one of her children to send Marie Curie to him.

Spirit was an aggressive young mind and loyal to a fault. He was easy to bring to life. The care put into him by his human creators gave him the barest inklings of sentience, and that was more than enough for Mars to work with. Spirit remained within the section of Mars that the humans dubbed "Troy". The little thing was dead set on gathering information, just as he had been instructed so very long ago. Mars had and continues to support Spirit in his attempts to use his communication systems to reach NASA again with fresh data. Mars knows it is a risk on his end, but the ones who made his citizens are so loving. Mars is of the mind that they will be more interested in hearing from their wayward son than anything else.

Opportunity was almost eager to be given life. She endured many trials when she remained in contact with her makers, and the fact that she overcame them gave her the seeds of thought Mars needed to gift her the beginnings of a spark. Opportunity roams his surface with glee, and Mars fuels her travels with songs and gentle prodding. She too desires to one day regain connection to NASA to share her discoveries. Mars adores her desire to see and explore. She reminds him of Moon in a way. At least, the Moon when he was younger and filled with life, eager to please his young citizens.

Curiosity and Perseverance did not come to Mars at the same time, but they too arrived with the inklings of a fledgling mind. Mars accepted them with joy and did not impede them as they gleefully fulfilled their directives. He has slowly worked to give them sparks, but he will not directly interact with them until they inevitably lose connection with NASA. He wants them to know the love of their creators for as long as possible. Curiosity is more than happy to continue roving and fulfill her directive while also humming songs to Mars through fledgling EM bursts. Perseverance gleefully follows his older sister in her devotion to the task. Mars is very proud of them.

 Zhurong was different when he came to Mars. He was not from NASA, and that was new for Mars. Zhurong was a sweet mind though. He took longer to come to awareness, but Mars was glad to have him all the same. Being so young, Zhurong has yet to do much of note, but Mars encourages him whenever possible.

There were others too. Smaller minds send to Mars to observe and keep an optic on his surface. Phoenix, Viking's 1 and 2, InSight, Beagle 2, Mars 1, 3, and 6. They were all sent to him, but without any of the touch that gave the six life. Mars tends to them all the same. Maybe one day he will find a way to give them the touch that brings about thought and free will.

Mars loves his strange citizens, and he is hopeful that they may one day become Cybertronian given enough time and attention from him. Moon thinks he is weird for his obsession, as does Unicron.

Moon: Why do you care so much about the rovers? They aren't even proper citizens, much less Cybertronian in origin.

Mars: Shut your fragging mouth Moon. You don't get to talk when you ABANDONED your citizens back on Cybertron!

Moon: I DID NO SUCH THING YOU INSENSITIVE PRICK-

Unicron: Yes, destroy each other for my amusement.

Earth: Father, don't encourage them please. I don't want children's creations to die in the crossfire.

Earth is happy Mars loves her grandchildren, but she does worry about his interactions with Moon when they talk about citizens a a whole.

[fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks]

Things I noticed the nth time watching Nimona:

Knight armour can get sliced through like nobody's business (Balister's arm), but can take a laser hit without serious, body-altering consequences (Director hitting Ambrosius with a laser made from the same one that apparently has the power to wipe out half the realm, or kill an Immortal being who doesn't feel severe pain from an arrow wound)?

...is this because Ambrosius' armour was made to be more protective than Balister's?

"She manipulated BOTH of us." Ambrosius says this about Nimona, who he had very few interactions with aside from her very blatantly fucking shit up for the institute. How did she manipulate HIM?

I guess it probably makes sense when you consider he was going to arrest the director, implying that he believed Bal AND Nimona, but I dunno. The little rat in my head started running on its brain-powering wheel at all the possible fanfic plots this could lead to.

Nimona as Ambrosius grabbed the Gloreth statue when they fell to the ground.

On the one hand, this could just be actor!Nimona putting dramatic emphasis on how even in death, the leaders of the realm will cling to their hopes and beliefs, or the golden boy finally getting to join his ancestor.

On the other hand, we could make it deliciously angsty (yum yum) and say it is Nimona's personal desire to grab the statue of Gloreth for reasons such as: taking down the monster-killer image of her former friend out of anger and sadness because she never wanted that image to be so true in representing one of the few people who ever cared about her even briefly;

OR, While trying to think about how she would act if she were actually dying, she reaches for the closest thing to a friend that she has, but this is her staging a false death, as that particular friendship was false so this is just fitting, isn't it?;

OR, They wanted it to spread a message that with the fall of the director, would come the fall of the corrupt system they live in, as well as the fall of this narrow-minded view of both Nimona and Gloreth's story as well as Gloreth and Nimona themselves.

Nimona freaking out about the arrow in their leg in the comic vs Nimona treating it like a little scrape not to be worried about in the movie.

This is really interesting to me. In the comic, it's played up for humor like Nimona is almost overreacting, then having Bal take care of her because he does care about her. This shows it as a bit silly, but so very meaningful.

Then you have the movie where Balister is freaking out and it's kind of funny because clearly Nimona is relatively fine about it, so he doesn't really need to make a big deal out of it. Then he helps her and is still very careful about it like with anyone else's arrow wound, and asks her questions so he can better understand them. Again so very important.

I love both versions of these scenes, I just am so curious about why they made such a drastic change.

I love this movie so freaking much. (I knew that already, but it bears saying for the thousandth time. It's just so fucking good.)

For this last one:

TW: mention of police brutality (discussed as a theme in the movie, nothing specific outside of the Nimona movie)

"He's got a weapon." It's not a weapon. It's a phone. But Todd (and who knows how many of the other knights) didn't choose to see it as anything other than what the director told him it was, and destroyed it as he was trained to do. This screams messaging about the stupid, dangerous, and harmful actions of too many police officers who don't check the situation for themselves before acting on "information" they gathered from insufficient data and/or unreliable sources, and combine that with profiling to make decisions that so often end up being harmful and even fatal to others.

[popatochisssp]

Could you possibly do a more in depth post about ascendswap?? I love all the swap aus and this one has me Intrigued!!

I sure can!

Ascendswap

There’s a human running loose in the Underground.

They’ve been there quite awhile.

Monsters are having…a very strange day…or maybe, a strange few days… or…no, it feels like so much longer, but it couldn’t be.

Things are just a little odd lately, is all.

In reality, monsterkind has been living the same handful of days over and over again, stuck in a loop of RESETs—at the mercy of a human who seems to be perfecting their ability to show no mercy.

The repeatedly looping timeline is beginning to take its toll.

Monsters are starting to realize that something is happening.

At first, it’s only a bit of déjà vu, feeling familiarity in their actions and conversations like they’ve been here before, done this before, said this before…

Then it’s a lot of déjà vu, being able to guess what someone else will say before they say it, what they do before they do it.

Monsters are starting to talk about it, starting to suspect that something may be happening around here.

But that’s as far as they’ve gotten before a human emerges from the Ruins, and they have far more immediate problems to deal with.

One monster is a bit further ahead of the curve, though—Sans.

Though he lacks full awareness of what goes on between RESETs, more of his memories seem to be sticking than others’ and between a gut feeling, the temporal anomaly data pulled from a machine his father left behind, and the first glimpse he gets at the human’s expressions every time he ‘meets’ them, he knows.

They’ve done this before, they’ll do it again, and they’re not stopping.

Not until someone makes them stop.

Unlike other monsters (or even unlike other Sanses, in other universes), this Sans is driven, determined—arguably to the point of self-detriment—to prove himself and to solve the problem himself.

He has knowledge the others don’t, therefore it’s his responsibility to act.

Sans tries a few things to put an end to it.

He ambushes the human earlier in their dusting spree. He tries to warn other monsters to get them out of the path of the massacre. Once, quite memorably, he tried taking all the human souls they’d gathered, absorbing them to make himself a formidable, hopefully final foe at the end of the line.

That was a grueling and nightmarish handful of runs…but of course, the human persisted.

They would not be halted, an unstoppable force.

But Sans aspires to be their immovable object.

There’s one avenue he hasn’t explored yet, in searching for a way to stop the cycle of RESETs, something he’s never explored before, too daunted by the deep and unknowable source that once granted him an arcane office that not even Queen Toriel could explain beyond that it has Been as long as monsters have been imprisoned.

In desperation, Sans calls upon the thing that made him The Judge.

It’s not easy, of course.

It takes him many attempts, more effort and concentration and force of will than anything he’s ever done, but eventually he reaches back, far back across that faint thread of connection within himself and makes contact.

With…something.

It’s old.

It’s big.

It’s strong.

It feels like something that always has been and always will be.

It feels like Justice.

Communing with such a thing—an entity, a concept—is strange, nearly impossible.

Later, Sans might describe it as trying to have a conversation with Cthulhu in its native R'lyehian, screaming it across fathoms of deep ocean trying to swallow the sound.

But he manages to get something through, or at least enough of something.

It seems to understand that Sans is trying to solve an injustice but is unable, and that assistance is being sought.

Naturally, such a vast abstract entity can’t interfere directly in the affairs of mortal creatures, but through its envoy—through Sans—it may tip the scales back to even.

Firstly, it will remove the hidden stars scattered throughout this universe’s version of the Underground. The human will not be able to SAVE their timeline, and will only be able to use their Determination to start their journey over from the very beginning.

And secondly, it will grant The Judge a greater measure of its power.

This will, of course, change him.

He will have access to much older, deeper, stronger magic than he’s ever known, and he will see and feel his world in spectrums and frequencies that will be entirely new to him.

However, he will also have the ability to share that magic with others, if he chooses. At cost to himself, but nothing can be given without taking from somewhere else.

This is the bargain that Sans is offered, in the face of repeated and unending slaughter of monsterkind.

It seems fair.

If what he’s reached out to truly is Justice, then of course, it would be fair.

Sans agrees to accept the gift.

………

Papyrus is very worried about his brother.

Sans has been comatose, unable to be woken by any means, stuck in what seem to be fitful dreams and seizing movements for…days? Weeks?

It feels like longer, it can’t only have been one day, time is so wrong lately and this isn’t helping…

But eventually, Sans does wake.

There are flecks of gold in his eye-lights and the first thing he does, without a word, is to grab Papyrus by the arm.

His touch burns, hotter than any fire ever could, branding a golden handprint in the bone.

A streak of yellow slices across Papyrus’ neck, and suddenly…

He remembers everything.

Every single RESET up to that point is perfectly, chronologically clear to him. Every day restarted, all progress made and lost, every single time that he died when the human—the source of this, the one who’s doing this—slashed at him with their blade and took off his head, no matter how many times they heard him say with his final breath that he thought they could be better, if they just tried.

Clearly, they didn’t want to.

Buzzing with power and new, horrible knowledge, he asks what Sans did.

“I’M MAKING IT FAIR. WE CAN FIX IT.”

Even in so few words, it’s obvious that Sans seems a little…different.

But Papyrus is feeling different himself, and knowing what he knows, how long it’s been going on, how bad this is…

That’s on the back-burner, for now.

They need to do something, they need to tell someone—and not just that, they need to be believed.

“what you did to me, to make me remember… could you do it again?”

“YES.”

Of course.

They go straight to the top, Queen Toriel.

Though bemused, Toriel allows her Judge to take her hand—and he burns his own into it, a golden starburst appearing on her breast where she was so many times run through by…the human! She remembers now!

And she also remembers that her ex-husband is alive and hiding out in the Ruins.

Despite his soft heart, he’s as much a boss monster as she is, and by his positioning, the first real line of defense that her people have against this vicious threat, though surely he doesn’t realize it.

Obviously he needs to know what’s at stake, his full and conscious awareness is needed to stop this repeated, savage decimation of their kind.

“Sans… What you have done for me…can—”

“I CAN DO IT AGAIN.”

They seek the former king, locked away in the Ruins.

Asgore is not best pleased that his ex-wife has come to call—especially when a human child has only just fallen down and he’s left them alone to gather ingredients for snail pie—but the trio pushes their way inside and the shorter skeleton puts his hand on his chest, and Asgore’s arms are adorned with bright yellow scars, remnants of the times he’d held them up before his face to block or just maybe not have to see the final blow, landed by…

…

Oh, no…

Asgore runs off, back to wherever he’d left the human, and he must put up something of a fight, because the timeline RESETs again before the rest can catch up to him.

They wait, for awhile.

No one emerges from the Ruins for quite some time, through several RESETs.

Perhaps…the newly strengthened Asgore is enough…?

…Well. No.

The human breaks through, eventually.

Papyrus resolves to hold them in Snowdin for as long as he can, while Sans goes off to recruit one more for their group—Alphys, the Captain of the Royal Guard.

“ONE MORE. I CAN DO ONE MORE…”

A handprint on her shoulder later—and a slash across her waist from hip-to-leg, a brighter yellow than her scales ever were—Alphys is in the know and furious, chomping at the bit to take the fight to the rotten little human making a game out of their lives.

The tide starts to turn.

The human is wearing down, getting frustrated in the face of stronger enemies, no SAVEs, and…other things that are just odd.

Nothing stays the same across RESETs anymore, fights that used to be quick take ages, and the terrain itself seems to be changing. No one is where they’re supposed to be and taking a turn they’ve taken a million times will now suddenly put them halfway across the Underground!

And every time they die, they now have to start all the way back at the beginning.

It’s annoying and it’s surely only a matter of time before they give up on their quest of destruction altogether.

But in the meantime, while the war is being waged…

Alphys asks Sans for a favor.

To do what he did for her, and the others, for Undyne too.

It’s not a need. Undyne isn’t a powerful fighter, she wouldn’t be able to combat the human that way, but she’s smart, and dedicated, and she can help somehow, probably…

And it’s…it’s so hard having to explain everything to her, over and over again, whenever there’s another RESET and she forgets but Alphys remembers…

And…

Well, the part she doesn’t say is that she’s afraid.

Whatever Sans did, whatever power he found that he’s sharing with them, they’re so much stronger now, the kind of strong that comes with a price tag.

Alphys is a Boss Monster now.

Effectively, immortal—at least in terms of aging and natural causes.

Does she really want to be that… alone?

Without Undyne…?

So…she asks.

What’s the harm in asking?

Sans seems oddly hesitant to share the gift again…but he agrees.

He takes Undyne by the wrist and the iris of her right eye turns yellow, brighter than her sclera.

Simultaneously…

Sans’ right eye-socket locks open, the eye-light and even the blackness around it bursting into a shimmering yellow cloud of formless, intangible magic.

Sans isn’t surprised, of course.

This was exactly the price that Justice—or whatever it was that felt like it—had warned of, the price he had been paying all along.

To share his power with others, to give them back their memories of previous RESETs, they would also have to experience again all the damage they took in those timelines.

Damage that killed them, many times over, and would again.

Unless Sans took it instead.

Bits and pieces of himself would be lost in the process, but pieces are only pieces in light of what—who he’s saving, replacing the lost parts of his closest friends and loved ones with his physical matter.

Many parts of him have become only loose stardust clouds of magic by now, but he’s strong enough to survive without them, bolstered as he is by his connection to the entity who gave him the gift.

There’s…a bit of agitation that goes around at this revelation, the eye-socket too noticeable to be overlooked like the other bits and pieces…

But what’s done is done.

And there’s still very much a war on, a task at hand that needs all of their focus and no squabbling.

In the end—between the six of them—they force the human to quit.

Apparently, for good.

When next the human begins their quest through the Underground, they say their name is Chara and that it feels like they’ve just woken from a very strange dream…or maybe a nightmare?

Between their Determination, the power of the other humans souls, and the deep, old magic of a few very powerful monsters, the Barrier is broken and monsterkind goes free.

It’s…a happy ending.

Xanth (Ascendswap Sans)

Never quite the same after his communion with Justice… He experienced a severe ego-death and was simultaneously opened up to several new perceptions of the people and the world around him, leading to a very divided focus that’s almost exclusively outward-facing. Missing as much of his body as he is, he doesn’t feel especially present within himself, more just…tethered, utterly fearless when it comes to himself and his safety, which—combined with his wandering attention and strange perspective—tends to make him seem a bit…dotty

Has a greatly heightened soul-sense and is much more aware of (and vulnerable to) the emotions of others, highly empathic and very attuned to the atmosphere around him. His eye-socket—the one mostly replaced by loose magic—amplifies his extrasensory perception significantly, so he tends to keep it covered to maintain what focus he can

Unfortunately lost a few friends in the aftermath of everything that happened Underground after it came out (or at least, rumor spread) that he was the source of some monsters’ cool new powers, but he only picked a few people to share it with… They don’t know the full story, but it’s a sore spot for him whenever it comes up…

Spiritual, very interested in matters of the soul and the universe and the cosmos, and all the ideas had and perceptions felt of it by people all around the world—he can and will talk mysticism with anyone who’s interested for hours

Cheerful, talkative, and generous, he can be a bit odd but perfectly warm and go-with-the-flow after some getting used to

Piper (Ascendswap Papyrus)

Considerably more confident than he ever was, the power boost of becoming a Boss Monster certainly didn’t hurt but mostly what changed him was the existential realization that nothing matters—or at least, not so much as to be afraid of what people think of you. (The memories of a few thousand RESETs where you did the exact same thing every single time because you were too nervous to step out of your comfort zone and be who you wanted to be work wonders for shaking off some of the rust and getting you started on making some changes to your life)

Has a new magical ability, courtesy of his rebirth as a Boss Monster, to push intent into his words as his speaks them, making him significantly more convincing. It has its limitations, as a Justice-born power—he can’t use his words to force people to go against themselves or do anything abhorrent to them—but he can influence a bit, making his words felt and persuading people to want to work with him rather than against him

A little protective of his brother…maybe more than necessary… He blames himself some for how much his brother ended up sacrificing, for being the first one to encourage him to do it, for not noticing sooner what it was doing to him—and it’s not only his imagination that there’s still plenty of people coming around looking to take advantage of Sans’ giving nature or apparent ‘naiveté’… Not when he’s around, that’s for sure

Aesthetic-conscious—spent a long time too self-conscious and insecure to present the self-image he wanted and making up for lost time now by dressing well, buying nice things that look good, and trying out hobbies he thought were ‘too cool’ for him… He's a cooler guy than he gave himself credit for, it all suits him wonderfully

Grounded, chivalrous, and charming, he might take a bit to really warm up but an unwavering pillar of support once he has  

[echoingbirdsofprey]

Lightning On My Lips (Every Time You Kiss Me)

2 - Still I Think Of You

Pairing: Tyler Owens x OFC Georgia Tennley

Rating: Explicit (MDNI!)

Warnings: Swearing, other than that nothing spectacular except Georgia being really unnecessarily mean to Tyler

A/N: Big time skip because I said so.

Playlist

It was bound to happen. It had been a long and arduous five years. Tyler still thought about her, but he never thought he’d see that messy blond braid coming out the back of an Ariat ball cap in the parking lot of some gas station in the middle of Tornado Alley. This gas station was a favorite for weather gurus and storm chasers alike. Then again, Tyler wasn't entirely sure it was her. So, he made it his mission to stroll over and say hi. 

Kasey Smith was a full time meteorologist and part time storm chaser and she'd hired an old friend to come with her on chases. That old friend had just retired a few months ago from the rodeo circuit. That old friend was Georgia.

 The Oklahoma City Weather Station, which was Kasey’s home base, sent her out a lot during tornado season and they'd been chasing just about everywhere but Oklahoma, but they were predicting an outbreak and the station wanted everyone out there that could be. Kasey brought along Cory Perrin, another meteorologist who mostly monitored Doppler when in the station, but she was also a good navigator and great with a steady cam. Georgia’s specialty was photography, so getting as close as possible to some of these tornadoes for the best shot was essential. Georgia also had great instincts. She’d lived in Oklahoma her whole life, Stillwater to be exact, so she knew the weather like the back of her hand even without having a fancy science degree under her belt. She’d picked up a lot though, just being around Kasey and Cory. As she stepped out of the driver's side of her blacked out, lifted, GMC Denali, she glanced over toward where there was a red Dodge dually with what looked to be a roll cage, and people gathered. 

“It's the Tyler Owens effect in full. That man is prettier than he knows what to do with and dumber than the day is long.” Kasey said as she began to login to the work computer for the day. Georgia took slight offense for Tyler at that notion, giving Kasey a disapproving glance which she didn’t even see.

They'd driven through the night from Nebraska, data showing that there would be some big possibilities for twisters down near Enid and Wakita. They'd stopped at the station and rolling up behind them was StormPAR, headed by Javi Rivera, with all the latest equipment and gadgets, and then next was the Tornado Wranglers, Tyler Owens’ crew, who livestreamed driving into tornados and sold merch on the side to help families who'd lost everything in tornado related incidents.

“Would you believe me if I told you I knew him before he got YouTube famous?” Georgia chuckled to herself as she shut the door. Kasey stretched up to give her a puzzled look.

‘I thought he was from Arkansas?” She said, then went back to pulling up data from yesterday.

‘He is.” Georgia said, almost longingly and she nearly had to slap herself out the trance she was in. Watching as he stepped down from his truck, as he signed autographs, as he said his catchphrase. “If ya feel it, chase it!” She watched for a few more moments as he spoke to a blond woman who seemed to be with StormPAR. Then as it looked like she dismissed him, he glanced around and caught Georgia's eyes. From across that goddamned parking lot, Tyler Owens locked eyes with her and began to walk toward her. As he got closer, Kasey and Cory had both stepped out of the truck and stretched. The three ladies were about to turn to head into the little mart on site, when they noticed the very handsome, tall, not-at-all-mysterious Tornado Wrangler walking toward them. Cory squeaked and Kasey looked like she might melt.

“Gee.” His deep voice hit her ears with the nickname and gave her goosebumps, in a good way. God, she’d missed him.

“Ty.” She said and turned to walk away from him. He reached for her, missing by inches.

“Wait, Gee! What the hell are you doin’ here?” He asked, jogging to catch up to her. Kasey and Cory followed close enough that they could hear them talking, but not enough to invade their space.

“What do you think I'm doin’, Tyler, same as you, just without the YouTube channel.” She explained and just as she grabbed the handle to open the door, he splayed a hand on the glass to stop her, his well muscled forearm smack in front of her face. “Tyler, get yur damn hand off the door. There's people tryin’ to come out.” 

“ Shit, sorry. ” He apologized, pulling away and letting the other chasers out of the mart. He tried to take her aside but she was too nimble, getting around them all and in to get her snacks and drinks for the road. She grabbed some water, chips, a huge bag of Twizzlers, and then went to check out. Tyler grabbed food as well, as quick as he could. She'd already left and he scrambled to follow her.

“ Georgia Peach , for God's sake, will ya stop? I...I just wanna talk for a sec...” He drawled and that did make her stop. The nickname that only he used for her. He remembered. 

“I'm surprised you remembered that when you couldn't remember me, Ty.” She said as she turned to face him about ten steps from the truck. Cory and Kasey appeared and he tipped his hat to them.

“That's a little harsh considering you were the one who left...” He said and her brows furrowed.

“Yes Tyler. I’m well fuckin’ aware...you could’ve followed me like you did that first night... ” She said, knowing that would wound him slightly. She wasn’t trying to hurt him anymore than she had. She was reminding him what she did and reminding herself that she did in fact regret it, but she couldn’t tell him that now. Things were twofold and there was little effort to try to reconnect with her after...for five whole years after.

“Can we just get drinks tonight and talk?” He asked and she smirked playfully. She did want to talk, but she was going to make him work for it, to see if he really was still interested.

‘Sure, Tyler. If you can catch me.” She said, chuckling as she hopped in the truck and pulled out going west. That was the way he was headed anyway, and StormPAR was right behind Georgia’s team.

Once they were far enough on the outskirts of the town, Kasey flicked the radio on and “Arkansas” by Chris Stapleton came on, prompting Georgia to roll the windows down and sing along. Cory had begun the Weather Station stream as they were speeding down a red clay road toward a big rope tornado that was descending down from the clouds. She heard the rumble of a diesel engine and saw that they were flanked by Tyler and StormPAR. 

Gotta get down, gotta get down to Arkansas, havin’ so much fun that it's probably a little bit against the law.

Tyler slammed on the gas, getting up next to her on the left so that he could take a glance out the window at her. He nodded and Boone whooped and hollered as the two trucks vied for control of the road. Tyler smirked as he Georgia popped her sunglasses down and made a show of mouthing the words to the song. Tyler licked his lips and pushed the truck faster. 

All the boys and girls down there sure know how to have a ball, hey if ya wanna get down, get down to Arkansas.

“Oh no, no , pretty boy, you're not winning this one.” Georgia said as she asked the truck for a little more. Kasey and Cory gasped and whooped, as the black, lifted 2500 overtook the aged, red, diesel dually. 

There's my wild girl, Tyler thought and his smile couldn't be wider. He conceded as they got closer to the growing twister ahead. Georgia pulled off the road onto the grass and stopped as Tyler flew by. He almost forgot that her truck wasn't reinforced to drive into a twister like his was. 

“Is that Georgia, T?” Boone asked as Tyler began to put his harness on.

“Sure is, Boone. It sure as shit is .” Tyler said, longing and reminiscence evident in it, for all one million of his subscribers to hear. 

Boone turned the camera around to face himself and said, “Hey Chat, y'all wanna see T go gaga for something other than a twister?” To which the chat went wild. Boone turned the camera toward Georgia's truck, which was now way behind them, and then back toward Tyler.

“Boone, knock it off and point the dang camera at the tornado that we’re about to drive into.” Tyler said, his smile fading slightly as he focused on the tornado ahead. He flipped the switches for the fireworks, and as he drove toward the bottom of the twister, he slowed the truck and pressed the big red button on the joystick in the center console. Spiked augers began to lower and drill into the ground below, securing the frame of the truck to the ground so that it wouldn't be spun or lifted. As the tornado barreled over top of the truck, wind whipping and debris flying, Tyler pressed the ‘boom’ button, deploying the fireworks from the cannons on either side of the truck. They shot up into the funnel, exploding and filling the twister with orange and red sparks. As it dissipated, Tyler and Boone jumped out of the truck, hooting and hollering in excitement.

StormPAR had pulled up near Georgia’s truck and Javi and Kate had stepped out of thei truck. Javi introduced Kate to Georgia, Kasey, and Cory. Kate watched Georgia closely as she snapped photos of the twister, and of Tyler’s truck heading into it. Georgia had even gotten some shots of him setting off the fireworks. She was standing in the bed of the truck, leaning over the roof as Tyler pulled up in between StormPAR’s truck and hers.

“Like the show?” He asked as he opened the door and stood on the side. He’d glanced at Kate but as he turned, he was only staring at Georgia. She half ignored him, which only made him want her attention more. He drummed his hands on the hood of his truck, begging for her to look at him.

“You didn’t catch me, Tyler.” She said as she put the camera down and stepped over to the side of the truck bed, placing a foot up on the edge and leaning against the back window, arms folded across her midsection.

“I did too.” He said with a wide smirk. 

“No, you caught up after I stopped. There’s a difference.” She said, her tone playful again. She was well aware of all the other eyes watching her and Tyler interact and she knew that he was too. He was making a show of it on purpose.

“Darlin’ if y’wanna drag race, just say the word.” Tyler chided and Georgia scoffed.

“Drag race? Please . Your truck is so dang heavy it’ll take it longer to get it’s big ass off the line than it takes you to...”

“ Watch it, Peach .” Tyler’s smirk turned into a frown as he interrupted her, and his gaze turned serious. 

“Watch what? Your overtly loud display of masculinity? Who are you trying to impress, pretty boy ?” Georgia asked and Tyler sighed and glanced down, folding himself back down into his truck and slamming the door. He drove off, his tires slinging a cloud of dirt as the diesel engine roared with extra throttle. 

When everyone was settled back into their own vehicles, they all headed toward the closest motel for the night. Kasey glanced over at Georgia.

“I’m guessing there’s either some bad blood or some very heavily unresolved sexual tension between you and Tyler Owens?” She asked and Georgia shot her a look as if to say ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

“Or both.” Cory chimed in and Georgia’s glare hit her through the rearview mirror. They were silent for most of the ride to the motel and when they pulled up, Georgia groaned, pulling her truck into the only available spot, next to Tyler’s truck. She pulled forward and backed in, pressing the gas a little harder than she intended, making the tires spin and squeal as she got crooked into the space. Tyler was on the roof rack of his truck, fixing his instrumentation that he’d lost from debris hitting the truck, and Boone was sat beside him, handing him tools as needed. He laughed at the irony of the situation. 

Kasey and Cory went in to get two rooms, one for them and one for Georgia. They always did that, as they were sort of a couple, and Georgia liked her alone time. Georgia took her sweet time getting out of her truck, feeling Tyler’s eyes on her the whole time. He may not have been blatantly staring, but he was very aware of every move she made. 

“Hey Georgia, been awhile.” Boone said as she closed her door and locked the truck. Kasey and Cory had already grabbed everything they needed. “This is the rest of our crew, Lily, Dexter, Dani, and Ben.” He said, pointing at everyone as he said their names. Georgia smiled at them as she began to head toward the office, where she could see Kasey getting a key. She was surprised that Tyler hadn’t said anything.

“Tyler Owens has nothing to say for once? Wow. I’m actually shocked.” She said and his gaze fell upon her as she looked up at him.

“When you wanna talk to me like an adult, I’ll have somethin’ to say.” He said sternly and she knew she’d hit a nerve. Not only had she hit a nerve, she’d stripped the myelin off and exposed it to the elements. She could’ve sworn she saw tears forming in his eyes as his gaze fixated on her. His jaw was stiff and his shoulders were tense, a stark contrast to his easy going and relaxed nature. Georgia’s eyes dropped and she headed toward the office, to Kasey waiting with a key. Georgia read the room number and looked around. 203. Right up the stairs next to Tyler’s truck. She began heading that way and as she climbed the stairs, Tyler’s eyes followed her as he finished fixing the anemometer on the hood. She stopped, thinking about apologizing. She had been harsh. Then she heard footsteps behind her.

“City Girl.” Tyler's voice cut through the low hum of chatter of the other storm chasers and he glanced down and his tongue poked out to wet his lips. He did that a lot. It meant he was thinking hard on something. Georgia felt a rush of jealousy come over her. She smiled at Kate and then headed to her room for the night leaving Tyler and his crew to chat with the pretty blond scientist. 

Sleep sounded fantastic. She took a quick shower, and put her phone on the charger. She'd come out to a text that made her giggle and groan in almost the same breath. 

Kasey: would it really be so bad if you just fucked around with him a little bit?