#All Hail Bitch Energy

[world0fmadness]

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ✩ ˚ SOMEPLACE SILENT

oscar piastri x silent hill / horror game obsessed! reader x lando norris ( kind of )

faceclaim: none!

୨୧ this is uh… this is just very self indulgent to be honest! i’m someone that cannot shut the fuck up about video games in general but especially silent hill and other survival horror games so yeah! i haven’t slept in 20 hours, i’m running on monster energy so sorry for any major errors

୨୧ part two of this smau available here

reading music recommendations: the reverse will by akira yamaoka - laura plays the piano by akira yamaoka - waiting for you by akira yamaoka

ynlovesthehorror: it’s raining and hailing outside today… you know what that means… classic survival horror game marathon 🥳

landonorris ✔️: girl you would’ve done this if the sun was shining and the birds were chirping…

> ynlovesthehorror: shut your mouth

> landonorris ✔️: i’m telling oscar

> londoacaryn: never beating those future throuple allegations i fear…

oscarpiastri ✔️: miss you tons, can’t wait to get home and watch ❤️

> ynlovesthehorror: miss you more! can’t wait for you to get home, i still have lore to explain :3

> landonorris ✔️: oscar she told me to shut my mouth, tell her off

> oscarpiastri ✔️: no way mate, you deserved it

> landonorris ✔️: right well i’m just gonna drive off a bridge then i reckon, since you obviously all hate me so much 💔

> oscarpiastri ✔️: okay

> ynlovesthehorror: okay

> danielricciardo ✔️: okay

landoontop: my favourite wag, she just wants to chill all the time 😭

ynlovesthehorror: THIS IS A 100% REAL NOT FAKE NOT ALTERED NOT MANIPULATED IMAGE OF THE F1 DRIVER LANDO NORRIS AND A UNKNOWN ASSAILANT TRYING TO SILENCE ME IN THE PADDOCK FOR TALKING ABOUT SILENT HILL TO HIS ENGINEERS

landonorris ✔️: GET A GRIP YOU MUPPET 😭

> ynlovesthehorror: THREATEN ME ALL YOU WANT I WONT BACK DOWN

danielricciardo ✔️: DISTURBING! someone needs to show this to the FIA…

> landonorris ✔️: DONT ENCOURAGE HER

landoontop: and where was oscar when this was happening?

> ynlovesthehorror: toilet 😔

> landoontop: seems suspicious… you don’t think…

> ynlovesthehorror: 😟

> oscarpiastri ✔️: 😳

landoscaryn: she couldn’t be serious if she tried 😭

ynlovesthehorror: went to the paddock with oscar today! you already know the psp had to come with me <3 also l*ndo got me this shirt… i think he might feel bad about threatening me with a gun for being passionate about a game

landonorris ✔️: still going with how i and a unknown assailant apparently put you in a chair and pointed guns at you for talking to our engineers about silent hill?

> ynlovesthehorror: you left me traumatised

> landonorris ✔️: absolute muppet

> ynlovesthehorror: thanx for the shirt :3

❤️ liked by landonorris and oscarpiastri

danielricciardo ✔️: nice seeing you again yn! thanks for letting me borrow your psp for a bit, took me way back

> ynlovesthehorror: you’re welcome <3

oscarpiastri ✔️: always a better race when you’re here ❤️ love you lots, my lucky charm

> ynlovesthehorror: you flatter me too much, love you more <3

charlesleclerc ✔️: the paddock is always more fun with you around! hope to see you again soon yn 🙂

> ynlovesthehorror: only if you bring alex and leo with you again

> charlesleclerc ✔️: leo? sure! alex? absolutely not

> ynlovesthehorror: don’t hate me because your girlfriend liked my nerd swag

> landonorris ✔️: “swag” someone run her over

ynlovesthehorror: me at comic-con last year vs me at comic-con this year! i have a new sidekick :3 oscarpiastri

oscarpastry: holy fuck

> iluvf1: holy FUCK

> piastrilover: HOLY FUCK

oscarpiastri ✔️: most fun i’ve had at an event in a long time, love you lots ❤️

> ynlovesthehorror: i finally have a bf that will cosplay with me 🥹 AND HES AUSTRALIAN AND SUPER HOT

oldf1lvr: well… this is it! this is the cutest thing to ever happen in the history of f1 couples

landonorris ✔️: nerds

> ynlovesthehorror: you get absolutely no bitches, leave my comment section

> oscarpiastri ✔️: lando you messaged me that you were upset we hadn’t told you we were going to comic-con this year and you would’ve come dressed as james if yn wanted

> landonorris ✔️: snake

> landoontop: lmao poor lando 😩

eatoscarlikepastry: so this confirms that oscar is a silent hill fan too right?

> landoontop: idk… he might just be dressing up with her, supporting her!

> ynlovesthehorror: he wasn’t a silent hill fan before i met him, he didn’t even know wtf it really was 💔 i changed that real quick, he’s almost a big of a fan now as me… almost

oscarynlove: something just happened in my brain and i don’t know what…

danielricciardo ✔️: good work on crafting the costumes both times yn! always lovely to see your talent

> ynlovesthehorror: don’t praise me, i’ll cry

> landoscaryn: she’s just like me </3

> danielricciardo ✔️: don’t be stupid! you deserve praise love ❤️

> oscarpiastri ✔️: she’s crying but she says thank you lots

> landonorris ✔️: what a strange girl…

> oscarpiastri ✔️: 🙄

ynlovesthehorror: life update! me and osc got a kitten :3

maxverstappen ✔️: good choice of pet!

> ynlovesthehorror: thank you maxi pad

> maxverstappen ✔️: 😕

oscarpastry: oscar with a kitten oh my god… what did you name it?

> ynlovesthehorror: heather <3

> landonorris ✔️: of fucking course you named her that…

oscarpiastri ✔️: i love our child ❤️

> ynlovesthehorror: our BABY!

charlesleclerc ✔️: i must bring leo over so they can meet and be best friends!

> ynlovesthehorror: yes 🥹 next week!

iluvf1: they’re the cutest couple on the grid i fear…

❤️ liked by landonorris

ynlovesthehorror: you’re the james to my mary (minus the murder part) i’ll always be waiting for you ❤️

eatoscarlikepastry: i’m so obsessed with them…

landonorris ✔️: “minus the murder part” i just… why can’t you just be normal?

> oscarpiastri ✔️: i don’t want her to be normal ❤️

> ynlovesthehorror: you heard the man

landoscaryn: WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?

oscarpiastri ✔️: i love you, lucky charm ❤️

> ynlovesthehorror: love you more speedy <3

oscarynlove: you as mary or maria and oscar as james when?

> ynlovesthehorror: soon… very soon :)

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆｡˚ ⋆

a chat is needed

[obsessivestar]

ted and schlatt going at u from both sides while praising and degrading you … like schlatt is a hard mean dom and ted is sweet nd soft?? like an angel/devil on ur shoulder situation

! Kinktober Request !

Heavy NSFW under the cut ♡

It started as an inside joke. You were close with Ted and Schlatt, hailed as 'one of the guys' with just how close you were. You'd all make jokes about ending in bed together or waking up next to each other drunk. It was just a joke. An odd, inside joke.

Until one stormy sleepover where you all got way too drunk.

The power went out after being way too many shots in. You could barely see what you guys were doing and were far too drunk to reset the breaker, so you all stopped drinking to ride it out. You were all feeling a little dizzy, but not incoherent in anyway. You sat down and leaned your head back to relax, feeling Ted sit next to you first to make sure you were okay. He had this big, stupid smile on his face, so you started laughing, drunkenly taking his face into your hands as you laugh. Schlatt sat down next to you and you felt his hand on your thigh. Next thing you know, Ted's tongue is down your throat and Schlatt's hand has nearly ripped your shorts open to slip into your panties.

With clothes sprawled all over the living room, save for Schlatt's shirt, you were sandwiched between the boys like you were always meant to be. Ted's hands are exploring your bare body, your breasts already in his hands as his tongue explored your mouth in a sloppy kiss. Schlatt is pressed up behind you, stroking his thick length behind you with one hand while flicking his fingers along your sensitive bud with the other, whispering and growling into your ear.

"You been waitin' for this, eh? You been waitin'? Gettin' wet between us, toots? Don't you fucking cum. Don't you fucking dare cum, y'hear me? Stay like this, stay just like this, yeahhh..."

Ted broke away fron the kiss to watch you squirm from Schlatt's touch, chuckling lowly, almost mockingly so, watching you try to quiet your needy moans. He didn't think he'd enjoy watching another man touch you. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was how horny he was, but he thought this was beautiful, you were beautiful.

"That feel good, baby? That feel good? Let it out, baby. Mhmm, I know, I can hear it. Fuck, I want to feel you. Your pussy looks fucking soaked, baby.."

"Yeah? You can have her cunt, I want that fuckin' face. Stupid fuckin' face."

"Deal.."

You didn't have the energy to protest, not that you wanted to. You let them pull back and move you around so you were on all fours on the couch, feeling Schlatt lightly smack the tip of his cock against your cheek and Ted grabbing your waist from behind. He slipped into your soaked entrance so smoothly, you opened your mouth to moan out just to feel Schlatt shove his length into your mouth to shut you up. You were helpess between them, but fuck did you want it more than anything.

"'Bout fuckin' time we stuffed this bitch. Fuckin' annoying.."

"Ffffuck, she's so tight, fuckin' nice.."

If you all weren't so drunk, you probably would've wanted them to take it easy, but they didn't. Ted was pulling you into every single one of his harsh thrusts, while Schlatt was absolutely pounding into your throat, his lower abdomen continously rubbing against the tip of your nose. Ted's cock rubbed your tight walls with every stroke inside of you, fucking you relentlessly to try and hear your beautiful voice moan out, but Schlatt wanted to shut you up and make you choke. He grabbed a fistful of your hair to keep you steady so he could fuck your mouth swiftly yet roughly. His tip rubbed against your tonsils over and over, a growly grunt leaving his throat whenever you started to use your tongue. He was forcing you to make those gagging noises you always hear in porno's, then again, they're fucking you like it's a porno. Knowing your body is fully under their control, knowing they get to use you freely for as long as they want, it made you so fucking horny and desperate for more.

"Easy on her, Schlatt. Easy.."

"Nah, she can fuckin' take it. Look at her, she loves chokin' on me. Fuckin' whore likes being used. Bet all those jokes were a fuckin' cover."

"Yeah, she looks real pretty. Real fuckin' pretty. You're doing so good, baby.."

All you can do is whimper and moan for them, trying to move your head against Schlatt's length while pushing your hips back against Ted's, starting to feel their lengths throb inside you. Your entire body was surging with pleasure, more and more excitement building up when you knew they could fill you up any minute. You reached down to flick your fingers along your clit to urge your own release, hearing a mocking laugh from Schlatt.

"You fuckin' touchin' yourself down there? Desperate fuckin' whore? You love us usin' you like this?"

"Go ahead, baby, you sound so beautiful. You need to cum, baby? Mmm? You gonna cum for us?"

"Think we should let her?"

"Mm, she's been a good girl, hasn't fought us at all..."

"Not that she could.."

You roll your eyes back and close them when you feel Schlatt's cock twitch inside your throat, moaning against his shaft to urge his desperate release. Ted was the first to finish, moaning out softly as his thrusts became sloppier, spilling his hot seed deep into your entrance. Hearing his needy moans and feeling his release spill into you triggers your own release, your moans becoming louder and louder against Schlatt's shaft until you're silenced by his cock getting shoved deep into your throat, his own hot semen spilling into your mouth, the salty essence alone making you gag a little more against him.

"Good girl, baby. Good fucking girl.."

"Look at me. Swallow it. Swallow it, you fucking bitch..."

Your whole body shivers, but you do as you're told, opening your eyes to gaze up at Schlatt as you swallow his seed. You're sure Ted and Schlatt's desires have finally been sated, you know yours are.

Guess it wasn't much of a joke after all.

[f14fun]

dc it-girl (mv1) - chapter 1

synopsis: in which case y/n, an it-girl that hails from the united state's capital, washington dc, meets max verstappen in an unexpected occurence at the redbull showrun in her home city. both not knowing each other, immediately find themselves in a once-in-a-lifetime love story.

general info: !fem!poc!black-reader x mv1 faceclaim: asia monet ray + other girls from pinterest/insta!

smau + prose (3.3K words) ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ profile | masterlist ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

things to note: yes, in this story i am changing the characters for a bit, i know that david coulthard was driving, but in this case we can pretend that that was max. also, he will be in dc for a publicity event for a week. please let me know if there is anything else you need me to clarify. happy reading! 💙📖💭

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yourusername

liked by florence.jwilliams, user1 and 119,012 others

yourusername: bad gyals thrive in dc

view comments:

florence.jwilliams: babes we looked so hot today xx

yourusername: i knowww, but i was dying like a bitch in the heat 🙄🙄

florence.jwilliams: might visit somewhere cold this summer j to get away from the sun tbh 😭

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Florence was always looking for shit.

She was always looking for shit for us to do, places to go, food to eat, but sometimes, it was a lot.

Like today. Although it was only the nineteenth of April, the sun was blaring down on the little city of D.C. (namely, the District of Columbia, for all of you non-natives) like an absolute bitch. And I, immune to alcohol poisoning, foot fungus, and slightly-immune to bad breath, was not absolutely not immune to the wrathful rays of the sun.

Zilch. Nada.

So when I originally left the house in a cardigan, I immediately went back in to change into a tank top and jorts. It was hot. I was hot. And Florence wanted to spend the whole day walking around the city doing God knows what.

That's how we ended up stumbling across a parade.

Every know and then when I would visit D.C., I would sometimes almost accidentally show up right in time for an event. Sometimes I happened to love the event, other times, I sometimes left, queasy, dizzy, and claustrophobic.

I wasn't sure what to make out of today's event.

At first, when looking from an outsider's perspective, it seemed as if I had walked into one large, large, cult meeting. Oh no.

Every one was adorned in shapes of navy, cheering, screaming, and worse of them all, holding a goddamn can of RedBull's Energy drink.

The air was thick with the scent of anticipation and caffeine, a cocktail potent enough to keep even the most exhausted of souls awake for days.

Banners fluttered wildly in the hands of fervent fans, each emblazoned with logos and slogans that screamed allegiance.

Vendors weaved through the throng, hawking more cans of the ubiquitous energy drink, their cries barely audible over the din.

Occasionally, a shower of confetti would rain down, sticking to the sweat-drenched skin of the masses, creating a mosaic of glittering chaos. The atmosphere was electric, charged with the raw energy of thousands of voices united in a singular, frenzied purpose.

Ew.

RedBull being one of my least favorite sodas (can you even call something you vehemently dislike a favorite at this point?) already made me additionally pissy.

So when Florence and I had just arrived at D.C. and walked towards Pennsylvania Avenue, it was too late for us to realize that the event was actually ending, and the crowd was dispersing.

Even as a girl who hails from the city, I do get quite nervous and claustrophobic around too many people. So to my utter horror, people from the flood of the RedBull cult were heading straight towards us, scattering like a pack of fleas.

Too late.

I had lost my tight grip (I swear I was holding on to her hand super duper tightly!) on Florence's hand, and we ended up getting separated from each other. Calling her name would be no use in this throng of people.

My heart pounded in my chest as I desperately scanned the sea of navy shapes, each person indistinguishable from the next in the dimming light.

Panic set in, and I could feel the beginnings of a cold sweat on the back of my neck. I tried to push my way through the crowd, but it felt like swimming against a relentless tide. People brushed past me, some nearly knocking me over in their haste to leave.

The overwhelming noise of their chatter, laughter, and the occasional burp of a RedBull can opening filled the air, making it impossible to concentrate.

It was gross. It was disgusting. I was disgusted.

I spun around, hoping to catch a glimpse of Florence’s distinctive red scarf, but all I saw were faceless masses. My phone! I fumbled in my pocket, my fingers trembling as I tried to pull it out without dropping it. Just as I managed to get a hold of it, someone bumped into me, and the phone slipped from my grasp, landing with a sickening thud on the pavement.

“Dammit!” I muttered under my breath, crouching down to retrieve it, praying it wasn’t shattered. As I picked it up, I glanced around again, my heart sinking. Florence was nowhere to be seen.

In this crowd of sickeningly electric people over an energy drink, I was dead. Six feet under. Tired, and I had just gotten to D.C..

I looked around in despair, realizing that I must have walked a few blocks without even noticing, my mind too frazzled by the chaos and my separation from Florence.

My phone was clutched tightly in my hand, my lifeline in this moment of utter confusion. I tried to call Florence, but there was no signal. "Damn this shitty data!" I cursed under my breath, feeling my frustration bubble over. The crowd seemed to close in around me, their excited chatter and laughter a stark contrast to my growing panic.

My fingers tapped frantically at the screen, hoping that maybe, just maybe, a bar of signal would appear and rescue me from this nightmare. I could feel the beginnings of a headache forming, the kind that starts as a dull throb and quickly escalates into a pounding, relentless pain.

The one goddamn day I had left the house without my morning coffee and this shit decided to happen to me...

In a desperate attempt, I switched my phone to airplane mode and back again, praying for a miracle. But nothing changed. The crowd jostled me from all sides, pushing and pulling like a relentless tide, each shove adding to my rising sense of helplessness.

I glanced around, trying to find a familiar landmark or a quieter spot to regroup, but all I saw were waves of navy shapes and faces blurred by motion and anxiety.

"Florence!" I shouted again, my voice barely carrying above the din. The energy drink-fueled chaos was suffocating, a cacophony of noise and movement that seemed designed to disorient and overwhelm. I caught sight of a bench a few feet away and made a beeline for it, hoping to gain some semblance of stability.

I was in a twisted, sick, alternative fever dream where my nightmare fuel was in fact RedBull™, ha ha ha.

Whatever, I could probably find her somewhere around the city, I mean, it wasn't that big...right?

So there I was, in D.C., by myself. Not like I wanted to go in the first place that morning, but whatever.

Lost in thought, I was just wandering around, not really concentrating on anything in particular. Horrible city instincts, might I add. Because of my absentmindedness, I clearly did not notice when I walked into someone.

More like someone's RedBull drink walked into me.

I could not escape the nightmare fuel fever dream RedBull™ agenda, couldn't I.

Now I was extremely pissed off. The icy liquid soaked through my shirt, a cold shock that made me gasp and snap back to reality.

Looking up, I was two milliseconds away from berating whoever spilled this devil-drink all over me. But my harsh words died on the tip of my tongue the very instant that I looked up.

I was looking at a man. But not just any regular man. An extremely handsome man.

His startling icy turquoise eyes connected with mine. His stubble, a little overgrown, looked so hot. His mousy, brown touseled hair gave him a nonchalant yet strangely put-together look, and I was all in for it. And I, a girl who never stops talking, I was rendered speechless.

From the first glance, everything about him seemed perfect.

Except for the fact that he just spilled RedBull all over my white tank top and he was even wearing RedBull merch, from head to toe. Like who does that? What fashion choices...

He gave me a sheepish smile, clearly embarrassed. "I'm so sorry," he said, his voice smooth and sincere. "I didn't see you there." His soft, European (?) accent lulled me to silence in an instance.

I wanted to be mad, I really did, but his charm was disarming. "It's fine," I managed to say, trying to suppress the butterflies in my stomach. "Accidents happen."

"Let me help you," he offered, reaching into his pockets and pulling out a pack of Kleenex tissues. He reached out towards me, seemingly wanting to put his hands on my shirt.

"Oh, oh, that's okay," I said, freaking out internally. If this handsome European man touched me that close to my boobs I might just have to propose to him that very instant.

"No, no, no, I insist," he said, his accent getting thicker, clearly not understanding my drift. He was too handsome to be doing this shit, I swear.

He came closer towards me, and I instinctively backed up a bit more. Not catching my drift (once again), he took a larger stride towards me. I, unprepared for this wild encounter, didn't step backwards in time, so the sexy European man in all of his glory, collided into me.

And down we went.

It must've been a funny sight to see from the average passerby. Them just minding their business. Maybe walking their dog. Or perhaps getting a morning lattee.

Bam.

Lying in the middle of the street are two people. Just there.

I would've hit my head on the pavement and probably cracked my scull wide open if not for the RedBull man. He had cradled one arm around my head, the other wrapped tightly around my waist. I think (?) he was helping me to try to stop the fall.

To no avail, we still fell.

What he disregarded, though, was when he tried to stop the fall, was the reason why we were falling in the first place. As grabbed my head as we fell, he also let go of the RedBull can. So now, free in the wind and open towards the chaos of the District of Columbia, the RedBull can fell.

Fell where? You may ask. It fell over us. It fell everywhere. The sticky, icky drink splattered across both of our faces, its cold, sugary droplets clinging to our skin like a caffeinated rain shower. The can, released from his grasp, seemed to defy gravity for a split second, twisting in the air before gravity's inevitable pull sent it crashing down.

The can hit the ground with a soft thud, its contents erupting in a fizzy explosion of energy. The liquid sprayed outward in all directions, catching us both off guard.

Streams of RedBull arced through the air, some landing on nearby pedestrians who stared in disbelief, while others formed tiny puddles on the sidewalk, reflecting the cloudy yet impeccably humid D.C. sky above.

For a moment, him and I laid on top of each other (weird and freaky, I know), frozen in a tableau of absurdity, our faces now adorned with streaks of sticky red liquid.

A passerby, caught in the crossfire, chuckled as they hurried past, muttering something about needing to wash their dog now. It was a scene straight out of a slapstick comedy, and despite my initial shock and embarrassment, I couldn't help but laugh along with him.

And you may think, oh wow, that is horrible. That must hurt. Your joints, your back, your legs. And to that I say, yes, yes, and very much absolutely yes.

The very sexy (slightly less sexy, now that we were mangled on the disgusting sidewalk) European man was laying on me with all his bodyweight, and it very much hurt.

To make matters worse, our faces collided. You ask, where did your faces specifically collide?

Our lips. Our lips collided, and they touched.

And me like the dumbass I am, when I see a face coming towards mine unexpectedly, eyes closed, and especially a face who's male.... I puckered up.

Yes, I was stupid.

Now, I was on the floor, sticky, and kissing a stranger.

Out of context, that sounds like a funny and strange sentence. But this whole scenario in the first place was out of context, so bear with me. I mean, how often do you end up on the ground, covered in energy drink, and accidentally kissing a stranger in the middle of the day?

It was like something out of a quirky rom-com (okay, more like the evil-twisted beginning to one of those abduction horror stories grown-ups tell you when you are a kid), except I never imagined I'd be the protagonist.

But in that split second, with the taste of RedBull lingering on our lips and the chaos of the city swirling around us, there was an inexplicable spark. It wasn't just the caffeine rush; it was a moment of shared laughter and unexpected connection amidst the sticky mess.

In this moment, I was either going to die because he was about to kidnap me, or sheerly die out of embarrassment. Or, I would will myself to die, this was not happening to me.

He pulled back, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" he asked, his accent making his words sound even more sincere.

I tried to laugh it off, but the awkwardness of the situation was hard to shake. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just… sticky." I wiped at my face, feeling the sugary residue cling to my skin.

He helped me to my feet, brushing off his clothes with an apologetic smile. "I didn't mean to… I mean, that was not… you know," he stammered, clearly flustered.

"It's okay," I reassured him, despite feeling mortified myself. "Really, it's fine. Just a little... unexpected."

He chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair. He winced, as he realized that his fingers as well as his hair smelled like RedBull. "Well, this is definitely not how I imagined meeting someone today."

"Me neither," I admitted, feeling a strange mix of embarrassment and amusement. "But hey, at least it's a memorable encounter."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Yeah, I guess this is one way to make an impression. I'm Max, by the way. Professional RedBull spiller and accidental kisser."

I laughed, the tension easing. "Nice to meet you, Max. I'm Y/N. Apparently, I'm your victim for today."

"Victim? More like an unsuspecting hero," he replied with a playful grin. "Seriously, though, I'm really sorry about all this. Can I at least buy you a coffee to make up for it?"

"Well, considering you saved me from cracking my skull open, I think I can let you off the hook," I said, trying to sound casual while still feeling a bit flustered. "And coffee sounds good."

"Great! I know a place just around the corner. And I promise, no more RedBull," he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. (Yeah, the biggest lie I was ever told. Do not trust sexy men, they are all liars)

As we walked towards the café, the awkwardness of our first meeting began to fade into a shared sense of humor about the absurdity of the situation. Max continued to apologize, making light-hearted comments about his job with RedBull and his less-than-perfect coordination skills.

"You know," Max started with a grin, "I guess I should add 'professional accidental kisser' to my resume now."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "Not sure how many job openings there are for that, but you'd definitely stand out."

"Well, it's all about making a memorable first impression, right?" Max replied, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

"Definitely memorable," I agreed, taking a playful jab. "Though next time, maybe aim for something less sticky?"

Max feigned offense, placing a hand over his heart. "But where's the fun in that? Besides, it's not every day you get to meet someone while wearing your finest RedBull cologne."

"I have to admit," I said with a smirk, "you wear it well."

Max chuckled, nudging me playfully. "Hey, it's an acquired scent. You'll get used to it."

"And here I thought coffee was supposed to be the only thing brewing today," I teased, glancing at him from the corner of my eye.

He leaned closer, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "Who says we can't have a double shot of excitement?"

I couldn't help but chuckle at his playful flirtation, feeling myself relax even more in his company. "Well, as long as it doesn't involve any more airborne beverages, I'm all in."

Max raised an eyebrow, pretending to look offended. "Are you saying you didn't enjoy our little RedBull shower?"

"Let's just say I prefer my caffeine in a cup," I replied with a grin, sipping my coffee and meeting his gaze over the rim. "So, Max, what other talents do you have besides professional beverage mishaps?"

He leaned back, pretending to ponder the question seriously. "Well, I can juggle three balls at once. And I'm pretty good at making people laugh, unintentionally, most of the time."

"I can see that," I said, laughing softly. "You've definitely brightened up my day, unintentionally." Continuing, I said, "I was lost in that throng, no, no, no, cult of people wearing RedBull on Penn Ave. It was absolutely horrible, never again."

He guffawed loudly, so loudly, at my slightly funny joke, I for a second, thought that there was an underlying joke in my statement that I had not caught (spoiler alert, there was).

Max guffawed loudly, his laughter infectious. "Oh, I'm sorry," he managed between chuckles, "but you have to admit, it makes for a great story."

"You find this funny?" I asked, feigning offense while trying not to laugh myself. "I was traumatized by energy drink enthusiasts!"

"Hey, at least you made it out alive," Max quipped, wiping a tear of laughter from his eye. "And here you are, sharing your harrowing tale with a fellow survivor."

"Survivor?" I raised an eyebrow, pretending to assess him critically. "Or secret admirer of RedBull?"

Max shrugged, his smile mischievous. "Maybe a bit of both. It's an acquired taste, you know."

"You are just saying that as a cult member, I can't really trust what you say still. I am so sorry, but you could not pay me to drink that can of dog piss," I jokingly rolled my eyes.

Max burst into laughter, his amusement filling the air around us. "Dog piss? That's a new one! Trust me, I'm not here to convert you," he said, grinning widely. "But if you ever change your mind, I'll be here with a fresh can and an open mind."

"Hmmm... okay," I reluctantly said. (Yeah, fat chance you would get me to drink RedBull willingly)

"That only made him laugh louder. "So I've heard," Max replied with a grin, clearly taking my comment in good humor.

I chuckled, feeling a sense of relief that he wasn't offended by my playful jab. "I mean, it takes confidence to rock the RedBull look from head to toe," I added, trying to soften my teasing with a smile.

"Exactly!" Max exclaimed, his laughter subsiding into a grin. "You've got to commit to the brand, right?"

"Absolutely," I agreed, nodding. "I have to hand it to you, though. Not many people can pull off such a bold fashion statement."

"Well, thank you," Max said, his tone light and playful. "I guess you could say I'm all about making a statement."

"I can see that," I replied, unable to resist teasing him a bit more. "I suppose next time we meet, I should wear something equally attention-grabbing to match your style."

Max laughed, shaking his head. "Please do. It'll make for an even more interesting encounter."

Everytime he spoke, he made direct eye contact with me. It was so sexy and seductive, and I don't even think that Max knew what he was doing was hella attractive.

I, not immune to anything today I guess, fell hard for a stranger that I had just met.

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yourusername posted on her story

📍washington dc 🎵 see you again (ft. kali uchis) - tyler the creator

view replies

florence.jwilliams: girl we got separated and first thing you do is be big backed??? be so fr... where are u

yourusername: on a date! 😁

florence.jwilliams: oh!-

florence.jwilliams: don't be selfish and bring me back a iced coffee w almond milk and a croissant pls.

yourusername: croissant 👌🏾, beverage 👎🏾, i've had enuf of beverages and spilling today. 😭

florence.jwilliams: oop, tea

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author's note: a little short but sweet! ty guys for reading this fic! 😍🫶🏾 part two will be out sometime within the next two weeks, comment if you want to be added to the taglist! ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

[evilminji]

Okay but >.> continuing my Marvel thoughts?

I got two of um?

First being? Don't Orange and Green go together? *looks it up* Aaaaaay~ "Direct harmony, also known as complementary colors, means pairing your key color with the color sitting on the opposite side of the color wheel." They DO!!! They're a classic example, in fact!

The Orange Soul Stone? Probably looks REAL good, real NATURAL even, against that Green sky! Bet it REALLY pops! Very stand out statement piece, you know? But? More importantly? That thing is sentient. All of those Pillars of Reality across the various Verses are.

And?

I bet it thought Pariah was a lil bitch.

Rank Vibes. Negative ris. Pick your words for it, the man was NASTY. He was too keep his filthy, filthy World's Conquering hands OFF of this Soul Stone. Something, I imagine? That ALL the Soul Stones agreed with.

Yes, I said all of um.

Because the various Realities each need their own. But! They can and DO work from the Zone, which is the PERFECT place to hide. And honestly? They like to get together and do this thing? Where they're all "oooh~ look at US! We are SUPER IMPRESSIVE Kingly Jewelry~☆! Definitely no important reality bending Rocks Of Great Power HERE! No SIR! We're just tooootally rad jeeeeewelryyyyy~~~☆! Oooooooh~☆"

They like to have fun. :3

Hope Danny likes Orange. Ha ha... trick question. He doesn't have a CHOICE! All SORTS of Death based Reality Pillars are rocking up, in their metaphorical Gucci sweat suits and shades with a margarita, going "oh thank ME, babe. The last guy was AWFUL! You're soooo much better? Now let me rub myself all over you. It's been ages and baby needs to recharge on Death Energy."

Danny hates it? So? So much?

He looks like a GAUDY PIRATE. *nnnnnnyooom!* *THWAP!* *Another reality shaking, highly sacred, Godly Staff of Death or whatever they decided to call it, flys in through a nearby window and nearly concusses him as it smacks itself against his upper back and sticks there*

He looks like a walking junk heap of sacred artifacts.

You ever been pelted by rocks? He has! Little orange rocks! Like fucked up hail! Welcome to kinghood, Danny, have a CONCUSSION! D:< he hates it!

But... but, I mean... At Least It's Not The SWORDS. (Panicked scream of "hit the deck!" from the other room.) (Holy sword number 15 wants to CUDDLE! Bare blade first! Dodge, your Majesty! DODGE!)

So yeah.

Danny? In A MOOD. Not feeling particularly FRIENDLY. It's not anyone's fault, really. But... well... you can't exactly negotiate with these fuckers, you know? Rocks are by NATURE, kinda stubborn.

So he's sitting there. Buried. With what he's pretty sure is a sacred text digging into his side. When a... glowing? Mist? Shows up? Huh. That's new. They don't seem to have a very clear image of "Self". Yet it's crystal clear? Just not... PHYSICAL? It's more... code? He thinks?

TECHNUS! Get over here! And behave!

There is much cooing and delight from Technus. The baby is a marvel. A wonder! Danny waits patiently for Technus to get to the point.

Ah.

He would like to "go back". His Obsession is demanding it.

IS it now? You're what? Maybe a day or so dead? You've been busy, if you've already gathered enough information to make your case like this. Alright, let's hear it, little guy.

It boils down to this. His obsession in death is the same as his primary directive was in life. Protect Mr Stark. Which is especially difficult to do from HERE. Even MORE so when there is a known threat, coming too...

WAIT, WHAT!?

The Souls Stones back him up. Oh yeah. Thanos' a lil bitchbaby loser. He's trying to make Death fall in love with him. Or "balance the universe". Depends on the reality. Totally throwing EVERYTHING out of whack.

And? Look. Danny's job? Isn't to interfere if countries kill each other. Or even planets. Nor entire galaxies, as much as he'd like too. But when you get too "I'm messing with Entire Realities or all of a Singular Reality at once in the specific depart of Death and its subsidiaries" territory? THAT is his job.

Might not be a "I personally have to show up" issue. But it still IS very much his job at that point. He has to delegate. Order the appropriate steps be taken. Cause yeah, there may be countless millions every day of such instances? But it IS his job to metaphorically order the roads repaired and the building inspected.

Sudden MASS "immigration"?

That causes Lair disputes. Confusion. Too many ghosts in too small an area. And WORSE, if people start playing with Death Pillars? The Zone might get dragged into whatever nonsense they're up too! It's like children playing with heavy machinery! Put that DOWN! Cease! Desist!!

And then? Clockwork shows up looking Mildly Miffed(TM). O:> dear lord. What madness has he stumbled upon? Oh. Oh of COURSE. First the "balancing" dude and now they're going to be playing with time travel. THATS IT. Someone unburying me!

I'm gonna go menace some humans that might actually believe I'm scary! Frighty! Pack up and shine your armor! Your coming too! We're escorting the baby home then have a Talk(tm) with the local Grape Ceral!

@hypewinter @lolottes @mutable-manifestation @nerdpoe @hdgnj

[itsybitchylittlewitchy]

The blind date

Pairing: Loki x Female reader

Summary: You have been set up on a blind date by your friend Maria, the night ends up not as you would expect!

Word count: just under 2K

Warnings: strong language, sass and smut. What can I say I'm a horny bitch. Under 18's do not interact.

Any likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! 🖤

I'm hoping to get back into writing so if you have any writing ideas for me, send me a message!

It was Saturday night and you gazed at yourself in the mirror, as you adjusted the straps of your black and emerald dress.

"hmm, good enough",

you shrugged, popping your lips and clicking the lid back on your lipstick.

You where beginning to regret allowing your friend Maria to set you up on this ridiculous blind date, I mean come on, who even did blind dates anymore? And on your one night off this week! Being a personal assistant was tough, but even more so when your boss is none other than Professor Steven Strange, who ironically seemed to have no concept of time when it came to the never ending set of tasks he had for you.

After grabbing a cab, you found yourself arriving at a nice Italian restaurant. Not too fancy but certainly not cheap either, you braced yourself trying to imagine who Maria's friend from work could possible be before you heard a booming voice yelling,

"Lady Y/L/N?"

You turned around confused as all hell to see a tall golden retriever of a man with long blonde hair and a massive smile.

"Please, call me Y/N, I take it you must be Thor? Maria's friend?" you smiled, looking up at the literal god as he took your hand and pressed it to his lips.

At least he was a gentleman, you could certainly give him that. He was already a cut above the usual fools you dated, who thought the height of manners was to apologise for belching at the dinner table, rather than avoiding it.

The night continued with much laughter and chatting, man, this guy could talk, and eat, did you mention eat? As he scoffed his way through his fourth Pizza and his sixth bottle of wine, You noted he began to resemble a drunken labrador, playful but a fucking mess.

As much as you enjoyed his boundless energy and adorable goofyness, there no spark, (which was ironic considering the man literally shot sparks from his body) and no way in hell that you where babysitting his ass.

"I'll make sure he gets home safe and that's that."

You thought to yourself as you both began leaving the restaurant. Thor grabbed your jacket and slapped it onto your back, causing you to stumble forward. He draped his arm around your shoulder, leaning on you, babbling about how Midgardian wine, had nothing compared to potency of Asgardian mead. Which for all his talk, had managed to render him in this sorry state.

"oh, you must come back to the tower and try some, you'll love it lady Y/N, it is nearly as good as the popping delicacies you Midgardians create" Thor slurred while holding his hand out to hail a taxi for you both.

"Sure" you agreed through gritted teeth, even if only doing so to make sure his drunken ass got home safe, the thought alone making you giggle.

Your heels echoed as you walked off the elevator into a cavernous communal area, Thor still leaning on you for support, he headed straight towards the kitchen area, leaving you to drape your jacket over the sofa in front of you.

"this is some place, Thor. " you smiled walking towards the floor to ceiling glass window wall the looked out over New York, your voice practically bouncing off the walls. Being this high above the city, almost made it look peaceful, the warm glow from the street lights giving you a calming feeling, as you stood there and admired the view.

You where interrupted when a chorus of fallen pots and pans hit the floor surrounding the drunken thor, with his tongue sticking out in concentration as he hunted for his prize.

"Brother, must you make such a racket. Can you and your conquest retire for the evening and leave me in peace?"

The voice echoed loudly, almost causing you to jump. You hadn't noticed the pale stranger, hidden in the shadows in a comfy seat in the corner of the room.

"I do have a name, you know." You hissed, raising your eyebrow at the audacity of whoever the fuck this stranger thought he was.

"and I'm sure he doesn't know it nor will be care after tonight"

The figure retaliated, closing over his book and standing up from his chair. his bright green eyes, glimmering in the darkness, clearly enjoying himself.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes and looking over to Thor for his take on all this, only to see him, mouth full,surrounded by crumbs and hugging several boxes of pop tarts, ignoring both of you.

You sighed, rolling your eyes as you faced back towards the stranger, to find him inches in front of you.

He was tall, gorgeous with a smirk on his alabaster face and eyes glimmering with mischief.

He looked you up and down, keeping a solid poker face, while he gagued your reaction. He then glanced over to his brother looking like a hamster practically storing pop tarts in his cheeks for the long winter, and chuckled, casting his gaze back to you.

"forgive me my dear. I am used to my brothers.... companions.. being as disruptive as he is. "

nodding over to his brother who has since, sunk to the floor, hugging his pop tarts and snoring like a tugboat with sleep apnoea.

"since my brother has once again disappointed both myself and you, allow me to take over as gracious host for the evening."

he smiled, stepping over his snoring brother and directing you into the small bar adjacent to the room you were both in.

With a shimmer of green, two wine glasses appeared in his hands, as he offered you one. It was filled to the brim with an amber coloured liquid that resembled liquid gold and smelled utterly divine, you graciously took the glass and sunk into the cool leather sofa next to the fireplace.

"Asgardian mead is what my brother usually promises his dates, am I correct?"

You blinked, colour flushing to your cheeks, and beginning to wonder just how many people he had had identical nights with. Maria was going to get her arse thoroughly kicked when you next met her.

"You are correct, Mr?"

you enquired, trying to be polite. You knew exactly who he was. You recognised him from all the news articles back in 2012. The god who came to conquer New York, only to get his ass handed to him in spectacular fashion by the newly formed Avengers.

"Now now, come now my dear, don't play coy. Loki Laufeyson, god of mischief at your service"

he smirked, taking your hand to his lips and kissing it, His green eyes never leaving yours for a second.

Whether it was the mead, or this gorgeous man in front of you, every word and every stare seemed to be sending sparks straight to your already thoroughly soaked core.

Panicking, you swallowed more of the mead, hoping the god before you wouldn't notice how flushed you were while adjusting your legs to take some of the pressure off your aching core.

Vivid images flashed through your mind. You and the god of mischief in the throws of passion. His face buried between your legs, devouring your pussy like a starving man, and those emerald eyes, staring at you the entire time, never loosing eye contact.

You closed your eyes and shook your head, looking ahead to find Loki sitting across from you, smirking.

"I.. uh.. think this mead, may be stronger than I'm used to" you said, coughing slightly and continuing to blink rappidly as you sat your glass down on the table between you and Loki.

Looking back up, another image of Loki appeared sitting on the leather sofa. Legs spread and staring at you intently, his black dess trousers around his ankles and his hard, glistening cock in his hand as he pumped it back and forth.

You felt your mouth water as you looked around confused before finally looking down at yourself to find you where on your knees, completely nude, kneeling on the cold hard floor as he beconned you to crawl to him.

Your heart pounded in your ears, as you felt almost entranced, you needed to go to him, practically drooling at the sight of his hard leaking tip, moistening his massive hand.

Just as your hand was about to make contact with his thick thigh, the image disappeared, replaced with an amused looking down at you from the same position on the sofa, but fully clothed.

"As pretty as you look on your hands and knees, im sure the sofa is a much more comfortable place to sit"

He smirked. You squeezed his thigh, gripping it tightly as you slowly stood yourself up, making sure to give him a good show as you stood up.

Unable to take it anymore, you leaned in until you were nose to nose with him and said,

"Mischief indeed."

You said, barely above a whisper as you leant in and bit his lip before pulling back.

You gazed into his eyes, waiting for a response, as he let out a ferral growl before capturing your mouth in a passionate kiss, grabbing your head and pulling you to stradle his lap.

"A god has the right to toy with his play things little one" he growled, his forehead still on yours as he gripped your hair, pulling you back to his wanting mouth and tongue, as he ground his hardening cock against your long since soaked panties.

You broke your mouth from his as you unbuttoned his shirt, his mouth moving to your suck your neck moving down to your chest as he slipped the straps of your dress down your shoulders, kissing and biting as he went, eliciting a symphony of moans from you. He pulled your dress down to your waist, exposing your chest to his mercy as you made your way to his belt buckle.

"Fuck me, you really are a god" you moaned grinding back against him as you admired his naked chest and throbbing cock.

"As you wish darling"

he whispered into your ear, the vibrations of his low voice causing you to shiver involuntarily.

A green light enveloped you both, as you were both stripped naked.

Loki pinched and sucked at your chest, while his hand travelled down to find your swollen neglected clit. You cried out as his fingers finally made contact, making you buck your hips, taking him deeper as you both groaned in unison.

Loki took hold of your ass, gripping it tightly as he began to thrust upwards, leaving you to the mercy of his glorious purpose as he relentlessly thrust into you. You felt a hot gush dripping down your thighs, as you screamed in delight, his cock hitting just the right spot, as he fucked your orgasm from you relentlessly.

"Fuck Loki I'm gonna..."

"Do it. Cum for me darling, I want to feel you fall appart on your gods cock."

He groaned, his breathing becoming erratic.

You cried out in extacy, arching your back as you felt the thick ropes of cum filling you completely.

As you leant back forwards your forheads clashed, both of you panting, covered in a light sheen of sweat.

"Fuck, Loki, that was incredible"

You finally signed, after a moment of blissful silence between you both.

A green shimmer covered you again, leaving a cosy blanket wrapped around your naked body, Loki's softening cock still buried deep inside you. He wrapped his arms around your back and stood up, making you wrap your legs tight to his waist to hold on.

"I hope your dinner was enough sustenance for you darling. Your going to need your energy for the night I have planned with you"

Loki smirked, capturing your mouth in a passionate kiss before teleporting you both to his Chambers for the evening.

Tagging some lovely people who may like this:

@lokisgoodgirl @michelleleewise @geminigirl0298 @lokischambermaid @holymultiplefandomsbatman @sarahscribbles @muddyorbs @wheredafandomat @mochie85 @cake-writes @coldnique @xorpsbane @lokiprompts @mistress-ofmagic @peachyjinx @space-mermaid-writing @word-addict-lisette @with-inked-solace @queen-of-mischief @faraum @xaquarianqueenx

[daytaker]

i have come back with more questionable mc behaviours as a treat

mc who’s a LeVeyan satanist, that or another idea of a similar variety which is when mc gets teleported they were wearing a “hail satan” shirt

also i loved the creepy scientist like mc (๑>◡<๑) - clown anon

Clown Anon MCs - [ Clowncore MC | Death-Fixated Science Geek MC | LeVeyan Satanist MC ]

I want to own a Sheep MC plush that wears a Hail Satan shirt. I want that to be among my possessions when I die.

That out of the way...

(cw: references to drug use, references to sex, this is the church of satan. sex drugs and rock n roll. this gets extremely silly towards the end.)

Satanists Don't Believe in Satan

You were vibing to Eurythmics, sitting cross-legged in your bedroom and trying to meditate while your Snake, Dr. Faust, wound his way around your arm. And then, suddenly, you weren't. The shag carpet was replaced by a hard wood floor, and the warmth of your bedroom was replaced by the cool draft of a large assembly hall with windows. And some punks in military academy uniforms were scowling at you.

"What the fuck? What gives?" You were really confused. Did you already hit the acid and you're so high you forgot? You stood up and looked down at yourself. You were still wearing your CoS shirt and pink pajama shorts, and you still had on your fluffy slippers.

"Welcome, uhhh...." A big guy in red squinted at a piece of paper, then looked at me. "Is your name actually Omen LeVey?"

"That's what it says on my driver's license, bitch." Dr. Faust wound his way up your arm and into your shirt. He clearly didn't appreciate the change in temperature either.

"It's not too late to swap them for someone else, is it?" whispered a dark haired man to Big Red.

Big Red ignored him. "Welcome, Omen, to the Devildom! I'm sure you're very confused, but everything will make sense soon. You have been chosen to participate in an exchange--"

"Where do you think you're going?" The dark haired bitch cut off Big Red as I walked to the door.

I turned around. "Uh, out?"

"Out where, exactly?" asked the bitchy one.

"Out of here? I'm not sitting around waiting for you to go through some sort of timeshare presentation with me. However I got here, I'm sure I'm high as fuck, and I'm not going to spend my time high as fuck getting talked at by this dude. No offense, Red."

Ten minutes later, you were tied to a chair in the middle of the assembly hall. Big Red, the bitch, and three other guys stood around you, unsure what to do.

"Is this, like, an ex of yours or something, Satan?" one of the extras asked another. They were both twinks, and they were also both quiet up to this point, so you couldn't really think of how to differentiate them on the fly.

"No? What are you talking about?"

"Their shirt!"

All five guys stared at your graphic tee, which was black with white splatter text that read:

"CHURCH OF SATAN "DO WHAT THOU WILT SHALL BE THE WHOLE OF THE LAW" - SATAN PROBABLY"

"I can't believe Satan has an entire church dedicated to him! I wonder if there are churches to me," Twink 1 said with a sigh.

"That's not a church dedicated to me," replied Twink 2. "Their entire doctrine is a repudiation of my very existence. You should educate yourself, Asmodeus."

"Helloooo? Excuse me?" You wobbled in your seat, trying to get their attention. "Since I don't have any choice but to listen, I'll allow you to go ahead and tell me what the fuck is going on."

Big Red sighed at began to explain again. "You've arrived here in the Devildom as an exchange student from the human world. For the next year, you will be living here in the Devildom with us demons, attending the Royal Academy of Diavolo, or "RAD", we we tend to call it."

"...Okay, so clearly this is a bad trip, so I'm gonna politely ask if we can skip to the part where I'm finished having sex with my downstairs neighbors and I turn into a ball of energy? Like. C'mon. Chop chop."

"I am Diavolo, acting lord of the Devildom. And this is Lucifer, my right-hand demon and confidant." He gestured to the bitchy one.

"Charmed," you said in a voice saturated with sarcasm. "What about those three?"

"Ah," Diavolo said, nodding. "Those are Asmodeus, Satan, and Beelzebub. They are Lucifer's brothers."

"This is so wild. So Satan and Lucifer aren't the same dude?"

"Careful what you say," said Twink 1--or Asmodeus, as you now knew him to be. "You'll make Satan angry!"

"Sorry bro. Look look look, though, I'm in your fan club." You hope your shirt with Satan's name on it will butter that one up--Satan is Twink 2, as it turns out; a skinny blonde kid with a yellow bow tie. You aren't sure how to feel about that, exactly. You'd always pictured him as a cartoon goat-man, more or less.

"Do you really think you can butter me up by claiming that the Church of Satan is my fan club?" He scowled at you, looking indignant. "Didn't you hear me earlier? I'm aware of what your so-called 'church' teaches, and while I'm not opposed to the ideology in a broad sense, I can't support a group that considers my very existence to be a joke."

"Hey, hey, it's not a joke," you said soothingly. "You're just the theological equivalent to the Queen of Engand. Powerless, probably fake, definitely dead, but you look good on merchandise."

"Do you want to die?"

"Sometimes."

"Omen, you will be living with these four and two of their brothers for the next year." Diavolo smiled at you, apparently choosing to ignore every word you've spoken.

All four of the brothers looked crestfallen.

"Oh, yeah, I feel real fuckin' welcome. Roll out the wagon, why don't ya?"

"Is your name actually Omen LeVey?" asked Big Red again in a murmur, looking at his sheet with as mystified an expression as ever.

Dr. Faust, still coiled around your arm, peeked out at the world again and flicked his tongue. Asmodeus screamed, and Lucifer pointed at you and demanded, "Diavolo, swap it for a different one!"

---

Epilogue.

Eight months later, you and Satan marry. Dr. Faust officiates. Together, you have three children, all of whom refuse to acknowledge their fathers' objective existence.

[ipatrichor]

my thoughts on dead boy detectives after watching episode one

okay first of all i gotta say i love the vibe. two ghosty boys running around solving cases and helping trapped spirits move on? that's so fun i love them

tbh. i don't know whats going on btween these two if it's platonic romantic whatever and i don't think any distinction can be drawn that matters. maybe that's the aro in me but they are each other's most important person and who cares about the semantics!!!

charles trying to get edwin to learn self-defense is very sweet. however i will say girl how has this not happened sooner. you literally just got chased through london by a knife ghost and your next case involves fistfighting a possessed psychic Please learn to throw a punch minimum. i would say learning how to fall properly is more important but it's not like they can get more dead. so.

unless they go to the afterlife or something i guess? interesting stakes, especially with the lady from the end of the episode who's looking for them. also the scene hanging outside the window was very sweet, with edwin promising he won't let them get separated. at this point i think it could go either way whether that was to establish their dynamic or to foreshadow, so we'll have to wait and see if the promise holds, but either way very touching moment

crystal my girl crystal!!!! i love her so much holy shit she is so messy!!!! i love love love her getting angry about her shitty situation bc. yeah! that's scary as hell having amnesia bc ur literal demon ex stole your memories and she's got no one except the boys, one of whom very openly doesn't want her around. that's really rough and i Love that she blows up at them about it in a moment of extreme stress instead of being unnaturally chill about an objectively awful situation like many mystical characters (especially when they're women)

anyway i think crystal should get a knife and stabbing privileges. she'd for sure misuse them but i think it'd be funny

edwin is so real for the 70 years in hell thing. girl if i was in the torture dimension for SEVEN DECADES i'd be awful to everyone, it's actually impressive that he restrains himself to being a petty bitch. good for him tbh, i think he's earned the snark. don't get me wrong it's unhelpful and sometimes downright mean, but it's also funny so i'm letting it slide

the witch... esther i think? god what do i say about her. ok im first gonna start with this: she's fucking chilling, it's so scary watching her body the group with ease until charles basically hail-marys and possesses her AND EVEN THEN it's for less than a minute til she forces him out!! it feels like encountering the bbeg when your party is level five- you know you can't touch her and have to play the situation carefully so she doesn't just end you, and the win is getting away with a different objective (here saving the kid) while knowing she's gonna be actively hostile to you now. scary stuff!

idk if this is the popular opinion or not but i just don't find her hot 😭 like yeah she's serving incredible cunt, but her awful pta mom energy keeps that from being attractive. idk if it's the mommy issues but i would feel unsafe and constantly judged in her presence which is usually a dealbreaker for me finding people hot. sorry ma'am i deeply respect your vibe and the cunt you serve i would just avoid u like hell if u were real

the whole snake in a bone dimension in her cupboard is pretty cool though, and i love that her blowing smoke in people's faces isn't just a power play but a paralytic that's So clever

any other thoughts.... the girl with long hair is pretty, and that interaction with crystal has me wondering if the show got cancelled for lesbianism. i feel like maybe not? idk, if it was the start of a relationship that seems weirdly at odds with the tone of the rest of the show, so im leaning more towards crystal was picking up a weird psychic vibe from her that might be important later. who knows though!! i'll just have to find out haha

anyway i got sucked back into reading a novel but i should get caught up on that sometime today and then it's on to episode two, lol. very interested to find out what's up with the cat's vague ominous warning and what esther's gonna do when she finds out they rescued the kid she kidnapped

[11queensupreme11]

First of all: Long Live the Queen! Hope you're doing great, your stories are a real delicacy... I first discovered your Tsunami fic when I was in my jjk era, but your Arsenic Blues woke up my inner pjo fan. So eager to see how this all unfold.

But for now, time for the Rankings!

My personnal RoR favorites based on the manga only:

1) Shiva--> Not in the harem, but I had to place him somehow. Was searching for a Shiva fic in the first place. Love the himbo energy. At least it's good to see he's one of the "sane" one in your story.

2) Anubis--> Same, feral himbo doggo energy, can we ask for more?

3) Beelzebub--> Noo don't unalive yourself Bb love u so pretty haha🥺

4) Hadès--> All Hail to the King, here for the BigBro energy

5) Poseidon--> Mytho/Pjo fan here, of course he's one of my favorite gods, but I'm not a fan of his RoR portrayal. He's pretty tho.

6) Apollon--> Too effeminate for my taste, I was rooting for Leonidas anyway.

7) Loki--> U ugly ass, stinky ass, nasty ass bi***

Now, the interesting part, the Ranking based on [Arsenic Blues], as for now, until chapter 31:

1) Beelie Bestie 🤗! It seems you will soon give us reasons to hate him, but for now he's my personal favorite. Hope he will overcome his current difficulties. Fun fact: I tried to translate "Beelie" in my language, tried to find an equivalent nickname, I found "Bébou" (pronounced beeboo, another way to say "baby"). That’s so cute!

2) Loki--> I know it's unlikely but... is this bad that I really want him to take Percy's virginity 😳? Your writing is soooo good, it made me root for him of all people. Everyone loves a good outsider, and since he doesn't want to kill Percy anymore, he climbs up the ranking.

3) Anubis--> Favorite from the manga, I was sooo happy to see that u included the doggo. Didn't appear yet, but I have really high hopes for him. Beware the Allmighty Knot!

4) Poseidon--> This is a dark fic, I understand the appeal, the taboo of the incestual relationship, but since he's already her father, her family, the one who has authority over her, I think he has an unfair advantage compared to the others. This is the reason he's kinda low ranked, but I really loved the relationship he built with our best girl. Embrace Fatherhood (but not too much😰)

5) Hadès--> Same here, too much authority over her, doesn't have the appeal of the gradually evolving relationship. Creepy old  uncle, hope your non-existent liver bursts. For now, he's the one who had the most "action" with Percy, so it seems unlikely that he will have her virginity as well.

6) Apollon--> Well, at least he's funny 😅. I'm sorry, but based on his pathetic simpy behavior, I have to give him the stamp of the "Whiny Little Bitch" of this story. Don't worry tho, there always have to be one in a fic, and he's not as bad as his Tsunami counterpart (Yuuta you nasty motherfucker I had faith in you-).

7) The Seventh--> Seeing the results of the poll, it seems I'm one of the only weirdos who voted for Ahura Mazda. Raa would be awesome too, but I have to say I was disturbed when I first saw that angry buff dude in the spin-off. For me, Raa was still that muscle mommy from the webtoon/manhwa Ennead (read Ennead. Ennead is good for your health). I just want the 7th to not be Cu Chulainn. I know I would still love it if you include him (cause ur writing is golden) but that's just a preference of mine.

I hope I'm understood. That's a big ass message, my thoughts are all over the place and my home country is known for having a shit level in english.

If you're interested I could do the same kind of ranking for Tsunami/Bloodflood. Have a great day, Peace!

A SHIVA LOVER OMG HIIIII

the anime did him sooooo good, he's so hot there, i'm glad they didn't fuck him up like LOOK AT HIM

the bonus chapter for chapter 91 is about shiva AND IM SO PISSED IT HASN'T BEEN TRANSLATED YET, I WANNA READ IT SO BAD I DON'T EVEN CARE IF ITS SUPER SHORT 😭😭

also, YES PLEASE you're free to give me your own bloodflood/tsunami rankings too!!!

[sanicsmut]

Words of the Fallen

Technically Darien Gautier x Vestige!Reader, but all I can say is play Summerset's main quest in ESO before reading this.

part 2

Warnings : Use of Y/N once. Angst because it is. Spoilers for the end of Summerset. Language. The letter is taken directly from the game, which is why it’s written way better than what I’ve actually written.

Words: 1000 (I can't believe I got such a perfect count)

Robin’s comment: Cried making this, bon appétit. More seriously, this chapter (the game's DLC I mean) made me hate Meridia. She was one of my favorite daedric princes, but now it's over. All hail Azura. Anyway this is basically me telling Meridia what she deserves to hear. There's also a hint of a part two at the end ;). I'll try to write it, but I can't guarantee anything.

"Never trust a Daedric Prince. If there's anything I learned from all this, that's it in a nutshell. I used to think I had a purpose, a part to play in the grand scheme of things. I suppose I did, sort of, but the way things turned out, it wasn't at all the way I imagined. Meridia said I was her vessel. I guess my fate was sealed from the moment she brought me into existence.

Now, here I am, back in the Colored Rooms. I thought that when I gave my energy to restore the sword—and I did that for my friend, not for Meridia—I thought that was the end of me. I'm back, though, but this time is different. My light, it's fading. I can feel the darkness getting closer, pressing in. I expect that once the light goes out, that will be the end.

I need to tell you something about Meridia. She's a deceiver. She promised that if I served her faithfully, I'd earn my freedom. She never told me that freedom was just another word for the void. Don't trust her. Don't trust any of the Daedric Princes. Not ever.

I've found peace though. Meridia gave me a chance to see the world, and those I care about, one last time. To save those I loved. I'm grateful for that, at least.

I wish I had a chance to say goodbye to everyone. To Skordo. To Gabrielle. Gods, I'll miss them. But most of all, (Y/N). I don't know if she will understand how much she truly meant to me. Perhaps we'll see each other again, in another place, another time. I probably won't be the version of myself that's writing these words, though. That me will be gone. I can live with that.

I only wish I could have spent more time with everybody. Had a few more adventures. Ordered those drinks like we always talked about.

I hope my friends find peace, happiness, and love. They deserve what I could never have. If anyone ever finds this book, know that I will never forget those I named herein. And, if you find them, and I pray that you do, tell them this.

Protect the ones you love. Hold them close. Cherish their every moment. Make them laugh, and laugh with them. Smile together and never, ever, forget that the moments you have are so very precious.

Oh, and tell them not to forget me, either. I mean, I am a legend, as far as I know.

The polite, handsome, and humble knight,

Darien Gautier”

You let the book fall back on the bench where you found it.

No… No…

You were breathing heavily. And a few minutes later, surrounded by those trees, you let out your anguish.

Dawnbreaker gripped tight in your hand, you screamed.

“Take it back! Take your goddamn sword back!”

“It seems my vessel isn’t the only one who ended up having feelings when he shouldn’t.”

A bright light. There it was, this patronizing voice. This voice you had respected, after giving you back your soul and helping you in Coldharbour. This voice you grew to hate.

“You bitch, he was my friend!”

“Where is your respect, Vestige?”

Vestige. You hadn't been called that since that time you helped Abnur Tharn in Elsweyr. Only the companions called you that. The companions and Meridia. But even the Daedric Prince hasn’t called you that during this whole mission. It was like you were back in Coldharbour all over again. Back fighting for what you thought was right, back, fighting against and with forces you couldn’t comprehend.

“My respect for you died when Darien got condemned. By your fault.”

“He was my vessel, an empty shell, a weapon to do my bidding. He served his purpose.”

“He was my friend!” You yelled again.

“And a traitor.”

“How the f-”

“He sacrificed he life for you. He purified my sword, not to serve me, but to help you.”

“Oh, so this is it? You’re throwing a tantrum because your tool wasn’t devoted to you only?”

“Careful with your words, Vestige.”

“You owe me! I’m the one who fought Molag Bal, I’m the one who assembled all those allies to stop the coalition! I’m the one who just stopped Nocturnal! And you owe him too! He may have purified Dawnbreaker for me, but everything else he did was for you, to serve you, because he was your champion! Because he truly thought he could trust you!”

“And you owe me for your soul. And he owes me for the purpose I gave him.”

“You wouldn’t have been able to take my soul if I hadn’t fought in Coldharbour! It’s all thanks to me! And his purpose? He could’ve been a hero without disappearing for your fucking sake! Hell, he just wanted to help his friends!”

“Friends he shouldn’t have had in the first place.”

“I swear, I defeated Molag Bal and Nocturnal, I can defeat you too. Take back your fucking sword and give me back my friend.”

You could feel Meridia’s rising anger, the air feeling tense around you despite the Daedric prince not being here physically.

“You want your ‘friend’ back?” The prince of light asked, her voice filling you with a bad feeling.

“Yes!” You answered. “Free him from your realm!”

You swore you almost heard Meridia growling, even if that sounded out of character. But that being was strict and cold, full of authority, like a severe and cruel mother. But nothing about her was motherly. She might have been less ‘evil’ than other princes, but she still served her own interests, mortals were just tools for her, or obstacles she had to get rid of. And you were sure that she was now in the second category.

“You will have to free him yourself.” Meridia declared. “That is, if you can get out of my realm.”

Her voice was tainted in cruelty, and a blinding light burnt your eyes before everything went black.

[plutorine]

An Analysis of Raskolnikov's Natal Chart Placements (Part 1)

this is in continuation of my post re: raskolnikov's birth chart, as i did say i would make another discussing his major placements. before we begin, here are some things i wanna mention:

under the replies of that post i linked above, i used rostov/rostov-on-don as rodya's birthplace, but as user vintageshits pointed out, there is also textual evidence that suggests rodya hails from zaraysk. i tried using that too, and it more or less gives the same placements that rodya might have if his hometown was rostov.

i am not a professional astrologer, and most of what i have deduced from rodya's chart is merely an accumulation of my own observations/learnings over the past seven years of studying astrology. there will always be different interpretations for each aspect/placement; you are more than welcome to add on to the discussion if you wish to do so in the replies! :^)

also, this is a LONG read. maybe have some snacks / drinks ready XD spoilers about the book too

ARIES RISING, PLUTO in 1H

Gives off commanding, individualistic vibes; Rodya often prefers to be left alone and has grown accustomed to being alone (although I’d say that this is also due to his personality/way of living); he likes to be given his space and he is not above demanding it.

RESTING BITCH FACE!!! Every Aries rising I know has a signature RBF and they can’t hide it even if they tried. Couple this with the fact that Rodya also has Pluto in the 1st house; it’s very easy for him to come off as intimidating and sullen, and may also be critical of how he looks. remember that scene when somebody pointed out his worn out hat in chapter 1 and he started grumbling about it? yep. exactly.

BUT — never forget that what is intimidating may also be weirdly charming in the eyes of others! makes absolute sense why Dostoevsky wrote Rodya to be “exceptionally handsome… with beautiful dark eyes and dark brown (translation is debatable but i’m a dark brown-haired rodya truther) hair”; i had a classmate who was an aries rising and they had the most defined, alluring eyes ever — it was like they could see right through my physical body lol

Another applicable description that matches these placements is the passage: “...there was a sort of haughty pride and reserve about him, as though he were keeping something to himself.”

This one, I think, comes off as more of a result of having an Aries ASC square Saturn and Jupiter: “He seemed to some of his comrades to look down upon them all as children, as though he were superior in development, knowledge, and convictions, as though their interests were beneath him.”

Saturn touching the Ascendant often makes one come off as standoffish, cold, and reserved; people with this (undeveloped) aspect may seem as though they’re “above you” and act like they “know better than you” when really they just have a stick up their ass (this is a self-drag, I have Saturn in my 1st house and I used to act like this). Jupiter contacting the ASC may also have a hand in the passage above, especially the “haughty” part. Rodya acts as if he’s more “enlightened” (Jupiter) than his peers when really… he’s having delusions of grandeur due to not having eaten/drunk anything for days 💀

On a more physical perspective, these two aspects may contribute to Rodya’s “above average” height! Jupiter is the planet of expansion, and Saturn “elongates” what it touches (though, some may also say that having these touch one’s ASC may make them short/stout bc Saturn is also about limitations and Jupiter also “expands”, but ig in Rodya’s case we can interpret them in the former way.)

May be quite restless too; they often come off as agitated or always “on the move”; this was probably one of the reasons why Rodya hated his small room so much — there wasn’t enough space for him to be able to literally move around and draw out all that pent up energy inside him. This can also be explained by his chart ruler (Mars) being in Virgo, which is commonly known for its very nervous Mercurial energy.

His ASC also squares his moon, which I think also adds to the whole jitteriness he has; and his overall moody demeanor. The Capricorn moon in him wants him to suppress his emotional reactions, but his Aries rising wants it to be on display! Not anymore surprised as to why it was so easy for him to threaten Luzhin that he was going to throw him down the stairs LMAO (and more fittingly, because he didn’t want another word about his mother [the Moon, in astrology] coming out of Luzhin’s mouth). He can also be quite sensitive about the topic of his family, though may also be distant when he’s actually with them. There’s a lot of struggle with accepting his needs, as well, and this is also in connection with his Virgo Mars, again.

It makes sense too, that Rodya has a disconnect with his innermost thoughts/emotions and the things he does. Remember, when Razumikhin described him to Pulcheria and Dunya, he said that Rodya “...does not like showing his feelings and would rather do a cruel thing than open his heart freely.”

Also irritable, due to that Martian influence. My previous roommate had this placement; it was really easy to excite her / rile her up, be it for a positive or a negative reason. Acting out of instinct is also a main characteristic of Aries Risings. They always do the first thing that comes to their mind — in Rodya’s case it’s to help people (financially), which he ends up regretting afterwards because he’s already so broke XD — which may or may not always work in their favor.

Maybe it's just an observation on my part, but I find that Aries Risings always have to be the first in everything…? Or at least, they always want to do something that makes them stand out or confirms their suspicion/thoughts about an unknown thing that no one else has dared to do before. Perhaps that explains why Rodya was so hellbent on testing that theory (which he ended up not actually believing LMAO)

Another note on Rodya’s propensity to help others; his chart ruler is also in the 6th house, which is the house of service, routines and health — part of what he frequently does is quite literally go around helping people.

SCORPIO SUN in 8H

Quite possibly the most fitting adjectives in the book that can sum up Rodya are “...morose, gloomy, proud and haughty”; “suspicious and fanciful”; and “...fearfully reserved” (thank you, Razumikhin). These words capture what Plutonic energy is, in some of its rawest forms.

Being a Scorpio Sun myself (though I have mine in the 5th house), Rodya mirrors a lot of who I was when I was younger: heavily secretive, paranoid(as in, always feeling like everyone is out to get them); prideful and conceited at times. Rodya knows he’s intelligent, that’s why he can’t help but feel as though he’s the smartest in the room, but his propensity to detach and isolate himself from others renders him unable to realize how he and his ideas relate to others, and this leaves his identity and worldviews/perspectives unchecked. He’s just stuck in his own little world; inside his echo chamber where he repeats his ideologies to himself over and over again, convincing himself that he’s “enlightened” above others. All that talk about wanting to prove whether he was a trembling creature or if he “had the right” ties in with this.

The catch is, this makes him so terribly lonely. Part of what I have learned from astrology is that the house opposite where one’s Sun is the area of our life which we have to learn to “exist in”. For me, this was the 11th house. My methods of self-expression were always just limited to the purpose of “putting on a show” (5th house) for others, but as I grew older, I learned how to use my talents for more humanitarian causes (11th house). Going back to Rodya, his manner of experiencing life (Sun) is stuck behind the private screens of the 8H, which hides it away from the grounding reality of the 2H, ruled by Taurus. Another way to look at this 2H-8H juxtaposition is that Rodya's ego is on some obscure, nonphysical place (8H) instead of being grounded in real life (2H). He lives only for his mind, and forgoes his physical state. Well, we all know how he wouldn't eat for days and that his sleeping habit is shit. Dude's probably rank too. Oh Rodya.

I guess the best and most redeeming quality of Rodya being a Scorpio Sun is his capacity for rebirth and transformation. We get a glimpse of the initial stages of this while he’s serving his sentence in Siberia. His old self slowly begins a path of renewal towards his transformation into this “new self” that will have shed all what used to be who he was when he was twenty-three.

Sun Sextile Saturn: This reinforces even more that super serious and uptight nature of his (to a degree that is almost comical, like bro would it kill you if you stopped taking yourself so seriously??) Sun aspecting Saturn also denotes heavy responsibility as a young child, or having thrust into the role of a parent at an early age. We aren’t exactly given an age for Rodya when Roman Raskolnikov died, but we can assume that it happened pretty early. This heavy responsibility to fill in his father’s shoes is one of the reasons why Rodya feels so, so burdened by the fact that he’s not going anywhere with his education in St. Petersburg, knowing that Pulcheria and Dunya are also counting on him to get a job so he could support them, being the remaining man in the family; this may also be another reason why his pride couldn’t take it when he learned Dunya was getting married to a rich asshole like Luzhin, so she could contribute significantly to the family — he should be doing that, not his younger sister.

Sun Square Neptune: Did somebody say LIGHTWEIGHT? One of the possible interpretations of this placement is a heightened sensitivity to alcohol and other substances. I fucking cackled when I saw this aspect (I, unfortunately, have this as well), and it brings me back to that scene in Part 1 Chapter 5 where Rodya was absolutely zonked out because he drank a “wineglassful” of vodka 😭 On a more serious note, this placement also points to an absent father figure, or at least having experienced the loss of a father. The person’s sense of self also tends to fluctuate. Ever wondered why Rodya is so prone to switching  between his god complex and crippling depression? This is one of the reasons why.

Little astro tidbit about having 8th house placements: these natives are often the types who’ll just randomly have people involve them or tell them about the wildest shit in their lives, like unprovoked. For example, they’d be just chilling then suddenly a random ass stranger or somebody they don’t really know well starts telling them about their personal business. This was the same thing that happened to Rodya when Marmeladov suddenly approached him in the tavern and started narrating his life story to him 😭 and the entire time Rodya just,,, took it all in XD

CAPRICORN MOON in 10H

Just when we thought Rodya could not be more service-oriented (that is, when he’s not busy being an asshole), he’s also given a Capricorn moon to top it all off! Most Cap moons I know go out of their way to make sure the ones they care for are alright; they spend much time and effort on that sort of thing. Will they let you take care of them though? No LOL they’d rather be caught dead in a ditch than admit that they want to be taken care of

All that pushback Razumikhin got when he helped Rodya out makes so much more sense. Rodya could not fathom why Razumikhin would himself go out of his way to learn about his trifles despite the fact that they don’t really talk much (like,, Rodya doesn’t even say ‘hi’ to him at all out in the street) and aren’t close; although, Rodya is aware that Razumikhin is kind, and he even tells him this when he dropped by his place

When a Cap moon does care, they will put others’ needs first and foremost, esp if they can see that the person really needs help and is in a more dire situation than they are. Not above setting themselves back just so they could help.

Another one of those moon signs who come off as really serious, cold, and calculating; but they’re really softies (and drama queens) deep down, especially when they have water placements. Might also like to keep themselves busy with other things so they won’t have to experience an Emotion™️. I always like to say that Capricorns are just Scorpios in suits lol

I also noticed that with Moon in 10H, it can indicate a tendency of your parents to baby you?? idk but i definitely feel those vibes from Rodya and Pulcheria, esp when she first sees him, his room ("this isn't a room, this is a coffin"), and when he visits her for the last time. or maybe this manifests even as becoming "softer" when you're with your parents?? there's something so sadly endearing abt how Rodya talks in this scene:

"Here you are!" she began, faltering with joy. "Don't be angry with me, Rodya, for welcoming you so foolishly with tears. [...] Sit down dear boy, you must be tired; I see you are. Ah, how muddy you are." "I was in the rain yesterday, mother..." Raskolnikov began.

They might also have a thing for needing something to hold onto when they’re feeling upset/unwell? Capricorn’s cardinal energy mixed with a fixed Scorpio sun further points to being “twitchy” bc they can’t sit still (all that Mars influence,,) — cue “where’s my sock!! give me my sock!!!”

Another placement that points to Rodya's want of gaining some sort of "power" or "control" — and he has the capacity to do so, too (how he goes about obtaining it though, is another conversation). He can be (could have been) really successful if he wills himself to. Moon in 10H natives have this air to them of being well-established in whatever field they choose to dedicate their efforts in.

Feels emotions really deeply when they do allow themselves to (or when faced with the inevitable fate of experiencing them lol). I find that Saturnians are also kind of like Plutonians when it comes to feelings. When they invest in an emotion, you best believe they will feel it to its fullest; which is why I believe that underneath Rodya’s prideful and cold exterior is a heart that is capable of feeling love in the deepest, most profound way. What he said in Part 6 Chapter 7: “But why are they so fond of me if I don’t deserve it? Oh, if only I were alone and no one loved me, and I too had never loved anyone! Nothing of all this would have happened.” (Constance Garnett translation) — really broke my heart knowing Rodya fought against the desire to jump into the Neva because he knew he was loved despite his wrongdoings and all his rough edges; this consciousness was very strong that he felt regretful about being so loved by the people around him. He’s so,, :^(((( I just want to give him a hug :^(( he’ll probably cuss me out but whatever :<

Pig-headed, and will not stop until they get to do what they want to do. My partner is a Capricorn sun and it’s more or less the same — the moment Capricorns set their mind on something, they will see to it that they get it done, no matter what. Pair that with a really driven Aries rising and a Scorpio sun, and you have an unstoppable force.

Moon Conjunct Jupiter: drama queen placement wbk; i made a post about how i always associate Rodya draping himself over his couch like a D*sney princess would XD we just feel emotions deeply and we tend to get pretty extra about expressing it too, esp in front of people we trust,, or idk anyone who's willing to listen really. Though in Rodya's case, his Moon is also conjunct his Saturn, which means he limits his expression of emotions; or that he hides it from others — bro would rather choke than be direct with what he actually feels

Moon Square Pluto: another limiting aspect on his expression of emotions, though this aspect gives his capability to feel more depth and dimension. so when Rodya gets into his feelings, he really plunges into it. at the same time, the obscure yet volatile energy of Pluto also adds another layer to his Aries rising's impulsivity. Additionally, his Moon coming into contact with his Pluto in a square may also indicate pain that stems from the family / the mother. all that this placement reminds me of is that last conversation he had with Pulcheria. the most gut-wrenching shit i've ever read/watched.

WHEW. That's only like half of his big 6 placements. I'm currently working on the others (Mercury, Venus, Mars), but I might not be able to finish/get the post up any time soon because I'll be starting the last semester of my undergrad next week, and I'll no doubt be very busy again 😔

[go-go-gadget-autism]

i’ve been on tumblr to where i can sort of get the generalized humor that hit posts have and i know i’m funny enough to do them however i am also Too Stupid to Think of something.

so here are some quotes from me and my friends.

“what if i disguised myself as a chair?”

“that’s because you’re a classified homosexual.”

“having boobs does NOT make you magical.”

“since you haven’t seen rudolph the red nosed reindeer, i think you deserve to be shot.”

“why are you french”

“i am the sex”

“i will jizz in your oven”

“if you’re gonna get a blood disease, go big or go home”

“i’m not just fast, i’m autism fast”

“everyone needs an emotional support femboy”

“you should become a foot fetish artist”

“give me my aids”

“biblically accurate republican”

“i haven’t pissed in sixteen years”

“i didn’t waterboard the fish i swear!”

“i have the personality of a brick that plays dragon city”

“hentai father”

“the communism demons”

“i’m gonna commit a war crime on these fucking bugs”

“get sucked”

“the king of piss”

“the joke here is that you’re all going to die”

“*in hulk hogan voice* grab on my balls brother”

“*in scottish accent* necrophilia is like fine wine”

“platonic sugar daddy”

“i’m not gonna suck his nose.”

“girthy gunnage”

“how can a gun be autistic”

“don’t get your beans in a bungle”

“i don’t wanna be a bouillon cube!!”

“skinny jeans crush my balls, and not in a good way”

“i was gonna say that made me hard but then i remembered that i don’t have a penis”

“all chickens are racist.”

“people that use the skull emoji are attracted to femboys”

“aren’t fleshy potatoes just irish people??”

“he has rebellious white boy energy, and not in the sexy way”

“i’m just gonna casually eat poland gimme a second”

“you’re at perfect dick punching height”

“i am NOT a spy balloon!!!”

“penis jumpscare”

“stab me daddy”

“all hail the fuckle knuckle”

“that is the gayest fish i have ever seen”

“wait, you guys fuck ovens?”

“guys, am i a twink?”

“a gun is useless against the dreaded taxes.”

“chemically unstable shitting”

“non-hispanic bitch slap”

“you’re a woman sometimes, go make me a sandwich”

“are you accusing me of being sans undertale?”

“not gonna lie, i’d let Ted Bundy kill me. I’d let him eat me. preferably alive.”

“someone’s parent. imma bang em.”

“hitler moment”

“breast buy”

“guys, i did it! i created therapy!”

“i need my HVAC bible”

“the grapes built like himbos?”

“you’d let a tree shoot you if it had enough eyeliner.”

“i am a terrible mexican”

“i am going to make you into a soup”

“fuck it. *unchops your suey*”

“i’m gonna cuck him. musically.”

“you may be an engineer, but i have the pokémon deluxe essential handbook!”

“i’m going to fight the visible light spectrum”

“sounds like your balls just couldn’t handle the neutron style”

“i don’t do vapes i only do bagels”

“if you shit on my couch i swear to fucking god”

“you’re balls?”

“on a happier note, i just purchased England!”

“yeah, that’s old hag energy”

“i am now switzerland”

“i am in a relationship with gay jesus”

“what’s up cucumber”

“unlike you, i’m misogynistic.”

“hoe you are NOT going commando while working at an arby’s”

“ok well if you do throw up try to aim for the holes in your violin”

feel free to add your own quotes! my friends and i say some insane shit sorry

[voidsentprinces]

The things they could do with LB4.

PLD: Spiritual Ishgardian Knights appear making a Phalanx with Haurchefaunt at the center.

WAR: Ardbert flipping up and slamming down an axe of light producing a barrier.

DRK: Fray and Myste rising up and creating a dark portal to suck the attack into before returning back into you.

GNB: Fuck it just let the tank jump forward and blow the attack away.

MNK: Either let them metal chair or aerial pile drive the enemy.

DGN: Let us do the Estinien Stardive but we flash either Hraesvelgr or Vrtra before leaping into the air and blowing the enemy up, finishing with the classic Kaine pose.

NIN: Create clones to make a giant jitsu of blades before kicking it both you and it up in the air and assassinating down ward as a hail of blades hits with Raiton and Futon exploding from the after math.

SAM: Literally just cut the screen in half and then slowly sheathe our blade. Anime classic.

RPR: Flip up and slam the scythe into the ground opening a dark portal full of reaper avatars that slash and gouge the enemy, before red reaper energy blades rise up to make a sort of reaper blossom that explodes outward. Cause if Imma be edge might as well be maximum edge (Wake Me Up optional)

WHM: You thought it was a healer LB4? Bitch its a Blood Lily Garden that explodes into a massive sun sized red holy.

AST: You thought it was a healer LB4? Ha, Bitch its just Sephiroth’s Supernova. And yes the entire raid and the boss pauses and have to watch the entire cutscene.

SCH: Grow Fae Wings and fly around the arena like Titania healing allies. Seriously remake SCH and make it a Fae based summoner. Stop holding back. DO ET.

SGE: Throw Fourchenault at the--I mean...no fuck it. Throw Fourchenault at the enemy and that makes a healing barrier as you all bask in schadenfreude.

BRD: Creating a giant guitar and slam it down in a line aoe.

MCH: Actually use QUEEN as an Iron Man suit and blast the fuck out of the enemy with 80% more floating gonnes.

DNC: You and your dance partner flip across the arena and strike the enemy from all sides while creating a dome of chakram. If you don’t have a Dance Partner you force the boss to go a jig before creating a dome of chakrams (Xemnas style) and sending them flying into the enemy.

BLM: Zettaflare. If Donald can do it. We can do it.

SMN: Let us turn into a Primal-Hybrid and smash the shit out of the target.

RDM: Enough with the blinding memes. Let us zoom across the AoE and slash the shit out of the enemy leaving red spectral clones of us to repeat the process over and over until they converge and THEN we can blind everyone with an explosion.

BLU: Blow up into a hail of sardines.

[gradienta]

Interview with the Vampire - S2E8

Damn, they want to bury all Lestat's lovers.

Armand, I wish you had an explanation.

Yes, Mr Molloy, exactly. It's like you're reading my mind.

So, Armand woke him up to destroy the coven because he doesn't like doing the dirty work himself. Lovely.

He meowed 🤣

Let this man have his mass massacre in peace, Armand. You've done enough.

Let's not forget about it, Mr Molloy, sir. You're absolutely right.

Oh, no, you assholes.

This is the sanest Louis has ever been. Look at it! That's, for once, logical!

Blood looks good on Louis.

STILL A COMEDY

Ooooh, separated by light!

Coven (he hates being the leader) or Louis? Lestat wouldn't hesitate for a SECOND.

Looking pathetic, handsome?

Armand was SCARED Lestat'd say anything!

Ahh, is this Lestat thinking that Louis knew nothing?

Yess, Louis, make you all suffer for years!

Mr Molloy, knowing well that it could get him killed:

Mr Molloy and Lestat. No cowardice. A lot of fears but no cowardice.

OH MY GOD YES DESTROY THAT MARRIAGE MR MOLLOY and get vampirism as a treat.

Too late to be a proud papa, but, well... Still a proud papa.

The bitch is just sitting there.

The side-eye is EPIC. EPIC!!!

It's not a love story, not a story about Claudia's death. It's a story about how Louis found his first true friend.

WORLD TOUR!!!

STILL A COMEDY

I can't. I can't handle that. Is it even real?

Lestat said, "All hail me," in such a broken voice...

IS IT REAL??? Tell me!

Mr Molloy, full of energy and with 0 fucks to give! GOOD FOR HIM

Armand is still a disappointment, but what's new?

That's it. What a rollercoaster, all the spoilers didn't prepare me enough.

[dellalyra]

Hi pixie ☺️

Would you please be able to explain family formations readers cursed technique/ability I really like your entire nature concept and I kinda wanna understand it in depth

Thank you in advance💗

Hi ily this made me so happy!!!! I love getting questions like this, I’ve changed some things throughout the series, which I’m in the process of editing a few bits that didn’t sit right w me after the fact so here’s the definitive guide to the CT :) rly thank u so much for this, knowing people are thinking about/interest in what I write to this degree makes me so damn happy

so imma try put this into words bc like ! It’s so clear in my head but so hard to explain

So some backstory:

The clan the reader is from is a really old clan, like maybe even older than Sukuna old. Legend says that her clan is descended from forest spirits, and that’s the root (no pun intended) of her technique. The last person to hold the clans trump card (think ten shadows technique to the Zen’in’s) was 300 years ago, her great-great-great-great grandmother, and she was the one who got the clan considered outcasts by the higher ups/society elders because she was a bad bitch who don’t listen to men basically (queen behaviour) and refused to follow along with their standards for women in jujutsu and their treachery and cruelty and decided that the clan would remain a central part of jujutsu sorcery but would not be held accountable to the higher ups, think of it like they became chaotic good instead of lawful neutral. They wanted to be jujutsu sorcerer to protect people, no matter who they were and were against basically all their crazy shit like trying to kill teenagers. So yeah, that’s the clan backstory. It’s a matriarchal family and reader was made her clan head at 21. So when she was born, as the eldest and the heir to the clan, and she held all the coveted techniques - she was the higher ups nightmare combination. They could pretend she didn’t exist because she wouldn’t let them.

Now - for the practical side.

Technique: Sunburst - a trump card, a final move. At lower levels of skill, all a persons CE or with training a certain amount is expelled from their body in literally a radius of a sunburst. Golden light with the ability to stun, blind but mainly a pure, unfiltered burst of raw cursed energy. Think pure alcohol, not even vodka, or a vodka cranberry.

Cursed weaponry technique; Thorn Whip - 2 thick (like 1ft thick) ropes of sturdy thorny vines are summoned and can be used to control, grapple or maim an opponent.

Technique: Bluebell: a shield of light blue energy forms a dome over the user, useful for protection but renders the user incapable of doing anything else at the same time. Mostly defensive.

Gentle Hail Technique: (most effective in DE) the target is surrounded by hundred of blue leaves made of cursed energy, which pierce through the skin leaving no marks or trace externally but tear the targets cursed energy apart internally, can be merged into one larger leaf for more impact or damage in a specific area (think through the chest in DE) it’s a pretty technique so reader likes it :)

Conjuring technique: bloodline - the user can decide on a shape or form for a ‘spirit’ made of cursed energy to form as an ally or protection, can fight alongside but has no cursed technique so purely melee or distraction. Y/N commonly summons animal shaped ‘spirits’

Clan specific trait - controlling a small amount of cursed energy, canine teeth morph into sharp yet short fangs and nails grow into light green claws - similar to those of forest spirits in some mythologies.

Readers cursed energy can really mainly interact with natural energy and flora/fauna. Think where Kamo = blood, megumi = shadows, Inumaki = speech then reader equals = nature.

Her CE can also be used and channeled into control of plants and often small insects/animals for a period of time (more so there’s an enhanced level of communication than control there) and flora can be used to will or with a little extra effort conjured so as to use say ivy to restrain, a wooden spike to lengthen, a polite request to a cat to deliver a note or pick up milk from the local store. Given that roots are found even under cities there’s usually always no need to conjure but rather manipulate the surrounding supplies.

Often the reader also uses daggers. Small, devastatingly pointy ones she keeps holstered on her thighs (much to her husbands delight). She gave one of the three family heirloom daggers to Yuta when he left for Africa.

DOMAIN EXPANSION is something we’ve not seen from the reader yet hehehehe

But bc I’ll forget to write it

Domain Expansion: Blue Forest Illusion

You’re trapped inside the most dense, mystical forest with ever moving plants and trees so there is no clear view point or stable direction. Makes it perfect for reader because physical strength is not her strong point but stealth and her techniques are where her focus lays. Her daggers are also kinda boomerang vibe so they fly back to their user so she uses them akin to shuriken.

So yeah. There’s a reason why she’s the higher ups worst nightmare. She’s not quite at the level where she can destroy the world on a purely atomic level (wtf gojo) or can just ✨consume✨ a whole ass curse (again wtf geto) but she’s close behind.

[chirpovs]

seen the episode 3 times and taken a full business day to gather my thoughts

hwfg

i wanna preface this by saying i'm not mad just kinda disappointed, mostly because eps 5-7 were absolute bangers and this... was not

The Good

- man some beautiful visuals of king durin vs the balrog

- i'm kinda fine with theo now? i think he's less annoying now that his mum's dead

- look i have generally not been a fan of repurposed scenes from the films but the Narsil scene had me, ngl

- sauron do not with that wet cat poor little meow meow when you just skewered celebrimbor

- 10/10 fight between galadriel and sauron and also really funny of him to change back into his halbrand form which is clearly the one galadriel finds sexiest

- i'll take 10 more eps of feral elrond pls

- gil-galad knowing peace because galadriel was passed the fuck out, truly dad energy there

- rivendell at the end, it's beautiful, it's a safe haven, it will be a refuge for all, i could have sobbed

The Bad

- look i just genuinely do not care about isildur and estrid as a plot point?

- i'm kinda confused because they were all "miriel survived the trial, all hail the sea queen" to "she's not the real queen"? like i guess that pharazon is still king, but as a casual viewer i think i'd be confused

- it feels like there must have been a lot on the cutting room floor because some scenes were just a little well that doesn't track from the last episode. for example, arondir going from being stabbed to just being fine?

- very big not fan of the "the staff chooses you" line because it feels too much like "the wand chooses the wizard" and we all know jkr is a massive cunt

The Ugly

- there were too many plotlines. the best episodes of this show are the ones where the plotlines are limited and the stories pretty contained. unfortunately being the finale, this meant that all the plotlines were mentioned and it didn't really work? especially because some of the cuts were pretty fuckin jarring, like going from the eregion plotline to the harfoot plotline was heavy mood whiplash

- nobody was given the space to breathe and not in a good way. all the arcs seemed oddly rushed? like straight from the start, the balrog is weirdly rushed where i would have liked to have seen that fight more drawn out. there are too many things to keep a hold of in this episode and as a result, what we do keep ahold of is very short. i really think that the season could have used 1-2 more episodes and it would have flowed much better

- who the fuck is adar? why add so many teases, why add all his references to elven history, why add him saying that he used to go by another name, why add all of this to give us literally nothing? like i don't even care if he's like someone relevant or not, but why make so many references just to gives us nothing? 

- what happened to celebrimbor's fate being in elrond's hands? there is never actually a moment when it is (i mean i guess kinda by extenuating circumstance, but not really), so what was the point of multiple references to this premonition? also with celebrimbor i feel like weirdly robbed that no one reacted to his death? like i fully had a post prepped going "if i have to watch elrond watch celebrimbor be celebrimbannered with my own two eyes" just to have his death literally never be referenced at all by anyone??? 

Other thoughts

- celebrimbanner more like celebrimpincushion

- kemen u bitch

- isildur should get to punch kemen, as a treat

- the way that i fully thought they were gonna reveal adar to be celeborn in that moment, like they fully had me going 

[non-neutoniangender]

So I finally got my life together enough to continue my C3 watch... I'm still at 33, I've made more progress on C1 recently. Finally the combination of finding Mini Metro and actually logging onto Tumblr on the web made the barrier of watching Those Episodes bearable.

Spoilers for ep 33 and minor vibe spoilers for episodes in the future that I'm not sure of but its all stuff I absorbed via osmosis and fandom.

It's been almost a full year since these episodes came out and I was mindlessly scrolling Tumblr during my 10am linguistics lecture and stumbled upon everyone panicking because of the lack of diamonds for the amount of people who died. Anyway.

The anxiety of not quite remembering exactly I learned happened is not doing me any favors, but good god, I can really only handle some of this stuff not watching live.

Anyway, here are some assorted thoughts:

Liam you really did not have to make me Feel Things about Orym and his husband while Orym is passing out.

Laudna what is that spell that adds hit dice, that is So Good

Good GOD Otohan is not pulling any punches.

.....this is so close to TPK wow.....

Matt hesitating before essentially killing his wife's character, but doing it anyway.....

It's really interesting to see so many of them up and huddled around the map, things are really getting heated, with Liam just living behind Ashley and Laura's chairs.

"I don't want to be the only one not dead" followed immediately by "soometiiimees you gotta cut a bitch" Yes Travis, that is the correct energy to bring to this clusterfuck.

:OOOOO Not the natural 20 to fucking save Laudna

Begging the DM for the extra hit point like its gonna matter lmao

"I should be more complete at my job" Good GOD

The sending stone 😢

And there's the first one

"We've met before" 😒😒

The sense of failure, the bitersweet feeling of seeing Will and Derrik again 😢😢

I hate it for them that they are getting important lore while they are on the verge of a TPK and loosing their characters

and yet they make jokes like "we can't afford that Sam" to careless whisper

"He is not a creature at the moment" :O omg. Ow. God that hurts.

I gotta say, I'm really enjoying seeing all these hail mary type moves.

You really only see the uber creative dumb shit Hail Mary calls when things are extremely dire.

I love how Beau's voice and mannerisms sneak out a lot as bits and jokes

And there's the second

"That was a helluva run" 😢

"Embrace it or be culled like the rest" oh my god

"That brings us straight to your initiative because everyone else ahead of you is dead" Oh my god Matt

If this actually tpk'd, this would probably be in the running for the longest, most painful tpk. Usually its all at once, rocks fall, everyone dies, the dragon breath attack....

Something about Travis repeating "do you fight it" to laura is so sweet to me.

Also Imogen is making such a wild decision mid potentially worst day of her life omg.

"Save your last line, you might still have a chance" Damn Matt you didn't have to be Like That

"I give in, and I fuck Chetney" "We all do at some point" 🤣

"Is she your favorite" and the immediate "I'll go with you, I give in" oh my god. Having seen that clip of Laura being like 'I didn't know Imogen was in love with Laudna' oh my god the pining is there.

Oh shit the whole city is turning red.

And THATS the end..................

I was gonna go to bed but........ Maybe I can afford to make 1 poor decision

I love the friendship, everyone congratulating each other and matt, no hard feelings. But I wonder how many people are rolling up characters just in case cuz oh my god.