#Ali literally shared her side of the story too and it’s completely different but sure let’s all believe Sophia the queer icon 🙄

[mayasdeluca]

People calling Sophia a queer icon and completely falling for her narrative of not being a homewrecker and just getting to be “free” while she continues to talk about things changing and shifting in the summer time with Ashlyn when Ali was literally waiting for Ashlyn to come home to her and the kids is going to be my last straw today.

[sturchling]

Salt-Fic September Day 6: Camera

Damian had met Marinette about a year ago. He had been in Paris with his father, and had literally bumped into the clumsy girl. Despite his icy demeanor, Marinette still treated him with kindness. Her warmth thawed Damian to a degree and they spent the remainder of his trip together. By the time he left, they had decided to start a long-distance relationship. They messaged all the time, and FaceTime every night. It was during one of these nightly video chats that Damian learned about the liar.

---------------------

Damian had thought Marinette was exaggerating when she told him how gullible her class was. She wasn’t exaggerating. He had transferred to her school for a semester as an exchange student to see what the situation was, and it was worse than he thought. Marinette had told him that the class had been pulling away from her. What she did not tell him, is that she is almost completely isolated, with only three people still talking to her.

  ---------------------

Nino, Nathaniel, and Adrien all knew that the Italian was a liar and had stayed by Marinette’s side, despite the class pressuring them to abandon her. They said they should leave Marinette by herself to ‘teach her a lesson’. The thought of that infuriated Damian. How dare these imbeciles be so callous towards his angel. Damian knew it was the liar’s fault, she was the one who tricked the class into turning against Marinette. Damian was going to end this girl’s reign over the class if it was the last thing he did. Damian spent the rest of the school day, watching as the class fawned over the liar and her obviously made up stories. He could not believe how easily fooled they all were.

  ---------------------

After school, Damian spoke with Marinette to see what she had already tried. Damian was shocked by how some of the attempts had gone wrong. Like how when Marinette threw a napkin to prove Lila’s wrist wasn’t sprained, and they all fell for her stupid story about how a napkin gouged someone’s eye. How could anyone believe something so stupid? Then Marinette told him about how Alya had asked her for proof that Lila was lying, without having any proof herself that she was telling the truth. That gave Damian an idea.

  ---------------------

Though there was one question still on Damian’s mind. “Why has this deceiver grown to despise you?” Marinette just sighed. “I knew she was lying from day one. I-” Marinette paused before she revealed her secret and switched to a different story. “She said she saved Jagged Stone’s kitten, but I’ve worked for him before. He has never had a cat, only Fang. His crocodile. Anyway, after the napkin incident and she realized I was trying to expose her, she cornered me in the bathroom. She tried to play nice, but when I didn’t buy it, she changed. She told me she would take all my friends and leave me alone.” Damian had to force the rage he felt to the side, for one because Marinette had told him about akumas and he didn’t want to deal with that right now. But also, because now he had a plan. “You said she threatened you after you tried to expose her right? Think she would do the same if I did?”

  ---------------------

Damian’s plan was simple. He would actively try to expose the liar to the class, in a way that the liar was sure to notice. When that inevitably failed, like it did for Marinette, then he would make sure he was alone for a while in the locker room. Lila would come to threaten him, just like she did with Marinette and he would try to keep the liar talking as long as possible. What Lila won’t know is that there will be a hidden camera in the locker room recording every poisonous word. He will have video evidence of the liar admitting to her deception. He also planned to share the video, live, with everyone in school, so no one can claim it was edited. If this doesn’t convince the class, then he is getting his angel out of this school.

  ---------------------

The next day, Damian started his plan. First, he went into the locker room and hid a camera up near the windows. The camera is remote controlled so as soon as the liar came in to confront him, he would start recording. Then he went into the classroom to begin the next phase of the plan. When Lila started one of her stories, this time about helping Prince Ali with a new environmental charity, Damian pointed out to the class that Prince Ali is known for working with children charities, not environmental charities. Lila floundered for a moment, but quickly covered her tracks. “He may be known for the children’s charities, but he has a wide variety of philanthropic interests. He just doesn’t get as much media coverage for his other charities.” The class bought the lie and didn’t question the liar at all. But that hadn’t been Damian’s goal with that comment. And based of the glare the Italian was giving him, he had accomplished his true goal.

  ---------------------

At lunch, Damian waited in the locker room like he planned. He didn’t have to wait long before he heard it. The sound of the locker room door opening. He turned to see the liar standing near the door. Damian quickly started the camera recording and broadcasting, and waited for the liar to start talking. Once she knew they were alone, the smile dropped from her face. “I can see you’re smart so I’m not going to waste our time trying to trick you with the nice girl routine. Don’t ever try to expose me again, or you will regret it.” Damian couldn’t hide the smirk on his face as the liar fell into the trap, which seemed to anger her further. “What do you mean Lila? Expose what?” Lila sneered at Damian, “You know exactly what. You tried to expose that my stories are more fiction than fact. If you don’t want to go through what I did to Marinette, then be smart and back off.”

  ---------------------

Damian had succeeded with getting the liar to admit to her lies on camera. But he wanted to clear Marinette too. “What did you do to Marinette?” Lila smirked, “I made her friends abandon her. You’ve seen how she sits in the back with only a few friends. She used to be one of the most popular girls in class. Now she is a nobody in the back of the room that everyone thinks is a bully because I told them so. I even got her expelled for a while. And if you try to expose me as a liar again, I will do the exact same thing to you. I will make your time in Paris miserable.”

  ---------------------

Now it was Damian’s turn to smirk. “See I won’t have to expose you, because you just revealed yourself. See that little camera up there by the window. It recorded every word you just said. It has also been streaming this live to the whole school. Now the whole school knows you are nothing but a liar.” Lila turns pale as she finally notices the camera. She flees from the locker room, hoping that Damian was lying or that some people didn’t watch the video or watched it and didn’t believe it. But when she got back to the courtyard everyone was glaring at her. Just like that Lila’s hold on the school was completely broken. She tried to reclaim her control, but no one listened to her now. Damian had also shared the video with one person outside of the school. Lila’s mother. Her mother had come quickly after the video aired and pulled her daughter out of the school, to send her back to Italy to attend a reform school. The liar was gone from his angel’s life and Marinette couldn’t be happier. And it was all thanks to Damian and his camera

Hope you guys liked it! @maribat-central-official

[megbox]

2017 Year in Review

Previous posts: (2016) (2015) (2014) (2013) (2012) (2011) 

Oh, 2017. I wish I could bottle you up and take sips of you when things in the future get sad and grey. What a wild ride you have been. These posts continue to get longer and more self-indulgent, and I’ll warn you upfront that 2017 will be no exception. I find sometimes that I’ll explain a story from this year to someone and they’ll blink back at me like... what. I find myself thinking that sometimes. 

I have decided to deem 2017 the year of spontaneous recovery. Not without a few setbacks but really, what kind of recovery ever goes smoothly? Certainly not mine. It was more like gradual-and-then-sudden recovery. Simple recovery. Recovery you do not even really notice until you’re far enough removed from what sucked in your life. 2017 has seen me go back to school, work 60-hour weeks to afford a spontaneous Europe trip to spend time with a boy I’d only known for a month, have a threesome, total my car, get an STI (unrelated to the threesome LOL), figure out what I want to do with my career and really go for it, and take the best vacation of my entire life. So without further ado, let’s jump in. 

January 

So January actually really sucked. Something I’ve realized about myself over the course of the entire year is that I deal poorly with change and January was full of it. No school to return to, my contract at Graham came to an end, and I found myself sitting around at home, sleeping in until 11:00am just to wake up and apply for jobs that I did not even want and check my calendar to see if I waitressed that night. The post-graduation slump was the real deal. 

On January 8th, I totalled my Jeep on the way to work. I did hit another vehicle but thankfully everyone was unharmed. I’ve only experienced acute shock like that once before and goddamn this time was just as awful. 0/10 experience, do not recommend. The only upside is that while insurance did their thing, I got to drive what I affectionately referred to as “the clown car” aka a 2016 Mini Cooper that was amazing on gas and had rainbow lights inside. 

In an attempt to fill the void that was my life in January, I started doing intake support at the Calgary Sexual Health Centre as a volunteer. It was in my orientation here that I made the decision to apply for the social work program at the U of C. The facilitator found me on break and asked me if I was a social worker and something clicked. I went home that day, heart racing, and started researching it. I realized - what better way to know what you want to do with your life than to look at how you spend your unpaid time? She’ll never read this but thanks Chelsea, you have no idea the impact that one question had on my little life! 

February 

Another contributor to February’s stress was that my single-job life did not afford me the financial freedom to pay my bills. This was alleviated in February when my restaurant switched from a pooled-tip to an individual tip system and I immediately began making triple the amount in tips (despite being an active resistor to the switch... LOL... I tuned in real quick). Valentine’s Day of this year was one of my favourite shifts serving of my life. They let us dress up so I wore a red dress and lipstick and flower in my hair, carried cinnamon hearts in my pocket and at one time let out a “hell yeah, girl” when a lady requested more garlic bread LOLOL 

Over the long weekend, I went to Kananaskis and stayed in a wilderness hostel for Shelby’s birthday. She’s a good friend now but at the time, Shelby and I were in kind of that peripheral-friend stage. I was super nervous about going since I hardly knew anybody but OMG WHAT AN AMAZING WEEKEND. We skied our faces off, drank Copper Moon pinot noir from a box, played Canadian trivia games, slept in bunk beds and gathered around a bonfire at night. Ali joined me on the second night and ugh I wasn’t even wearing MAKEUP I was just LIVING MY LIFE AND IT WAS SO NICE. 

Okayokay. Now... this might be kind of weird to write in a year in review but February was also the very first time I slept with someone who is not my ex-boyfriend. This is a big deal because it was something I had built up in my mind like crazy... imagining it would be this earth-shattering experience that opened the sexual floodgates. It was not. It was very... normal. I didn’t even tell my friends about it for like ten days (VERY uncharacteristic for me. Usually I get out the metaphorical megaphone and scream it from the rooftops cause I’m so excited). In retrospect though, I do recall slinking back upstairs and running into Sydney in the kitchen. She’s like, “wtf did you sleep downstairs?” I looked back at her... yes... yes that’s exactly what happened... heh so who knows. ANYWAYS. I woke up the next morning feeling literally no different than I had the night before and that is exactly what I needed it to feel like. No big deal. It was important in its complete and total unimportantness. He will never read this but I ended up just shamelessly ghosting this dude after he used the l-o-v-e word WAY too early (another theme of the last like... year and a half) and then he came to my place on my birthday uninvited with a VERY expensive and thoughtful present of a bunch of vinyl records from all of my favourite musicians and I ACCEPTED IT LMAOOOO because I really wanted those fucking records. Wow. I suck. 

March 

We (so, me and my four best friends from Famoso) deemed it “Mellow March” and attempted to forego drinking and fast food for the entire 31 days of the month. Let me go on record to say that none of us made it (I think Alex literally made it one day... but he had a date so we’ll let it slide) but I made it the farthest which was 17 days. 

I was in a super-into-running phase during March and crushed a 5km fun run on St. Patrick’s Day with my family and my brother’s girlfriend. It was -18 degrees and I’m dumb and didn’t warm up nor cool down. The Bluetooth headphones my brother lent me also died 30 seconds into the run from the cold. I NEVER run without music. I was in pain. It was so boring. I suspect this is the incident in which I injured my MCL. The bright side is that it’s technically a personal best, and my mom won her WEIGHT in Village beer. 

OKAY now for the best part of March. FELIX FELIX FELIX. Felix is a German boy. He was nearing the end of a year-long working holiday visa trip through Canada when I met him at a bar the night I broke Mellow March (which I almost didn’t go to... so moral of the story: ALWAYS go!). I think a total of one hour elapsed from the time I met him to us being in a taxi on the way back to my house. I’m not sure if it was the German accent, the copious amounts of happy hour drinks Mikaela and I had consumed prior to the bar, or his whole carefree-traveler thing that sealed the deal - probably a combination of all three - but I felt ZERO apprehension about the whole thing and it was an amazing and unexpected night. I went to brunch the next morning in the previous night’s makeup, still tipsy and totally elated to share with my friends the adventures of the night before. I took him on a date where I picked him up at his hostel and we drove to Lake Louise and Moraine Lake and talked about everything and shared music. It’s a cool experience to be able to show someone those places for the first time. We came back to my house and made dinner and he taught me how to play Highway to Hell by AC/DC on guitar. Your girl was smitten. 

April 

April was Felix-crazy month. Seriously. I should take a moment here to thank my former roommates for being so cool about him staying over so much in between his trips. You guys rock. :’) 

April is also my birthday month!!! Felix was in Banff but he took a greyhound to Calgary to spend the day with me. He had flowers and Sea Cider and I was basically just heart-eyes emoji’ing the whole damn day. We rented an Airbnb for the night on the top floor of this beautiful condo building in downtown Calgary, drank champagne, got tacos, and watched the sunset over the skyline. Felix told me it was the best day of his entire Canada trip and it was definitely a day I’ll always remember. Later on the weekend, my brother and I had a joint party which was so much FUNNNNNN we got up on the couch and made a toast and they played “All the Small Things” by Blink 182 just so everyone could yell “NOBODY LIKES YOU WHEN YOU’RE 23″ at me. Tres bien. 

Aaaand then Felix left on the 20th. I drove him to the airport and I’m telling you... it was sad. It honestly felt like a breakup except there was no fight or conflict that ended things it was just like... you live in another part of the world. We have to say bye and we don’t want to and this really sucks. We BOTH cried and for the following week I was just an abysmal shell of a human being. True to form, I could not handle the fact that I’d never see him again and so six days after he left I booked my flight to visit him with NO idea how I was going to afford it. 

May 

Okay May also sucked. The only good part of May was that I received my formal acceptance to the social work program. 

The rest of the month was spent at work. That is not an exaggeration. I picked up a second job hostessing at this restaurant in my city located within a trendy hotel with a pool patio. At first, I was super excited to be working there because it was fun and a relatively easy job, I had a mild crush on one of my coworkers, and I really needed the money. Then reality set in. This place aims to be a cool, collected place for Calgary’s rich and famous to sip cocktails by the pool and mingle. Unfortunately for this establishment, the people who actually showed up are basically Calgary’s own Jersey Shore. Tans, fake boobs, tribal tattoos, oil-rig money, thong bikinis, cocaine, and $800 bar tabs are what we got. The job went from hostess to nightclub bouncer as soon as the sun was out. It didn’t matter what day of the week it was... these animals would show up at 11:00am on a Monday and be cannon-balling into the pool by 12:45pm having consumed 30oz of our finest rum. I’d work every day there and then hightail it to Famoso to work another 5-8 hours. I was fucking miserable and my only solace was Skyping Felix every morning before I left. 

June 

The first half of June was exactly like May until the 16th. I was finally free on vacation. I literally took my heels off and ran barefoot down the street to my car after being dismissed from work on the 15th, nearly crying of excitement that I wouldn’t have to return for three weeks. 

The first stop was Stacey and Mike’s wedding at the Burrowing Owl winery in Osoyoos, BC. I HAD NEVER BEEN TO A WEDDING BEFORE AS AN ADULT and this one was in BEAUTIFUL SUNNY OSOYOOS and had an open bar and I was with my best friends. Some remarks: 

Alex and I got ready and were lookin’ super fancy and I needed hairspray so we drove to Shopper’s and when we got out of the car, a lady on the street remarked to her friend, “Oh my god, what a beautiful couple.” We just... our egos soared... we laughed about it the whole day. 

Getting a taxi in Osoyoos is among the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. 

I cried at the ceremony because I am sucker. 

Stacey’s family drama totally enveloped the wedding and I have to admit - her mother was such a total b*tch to us and CLEARLY did not want us at the wedding (what kind of person doesn’t want the brides FRIENDS at the wedding???? honestly) and it made us feel awkward. 

My favourite part of the whole night (aside from the DANK charcuterie board that emerged at the midnight buffet... my god... I almost passed out I was so happy... that CREAMY gorgonzola... I will dream about it forever) was at the unofficial afterparty which was all of us just chillin’ in our fancy clothes in the penthouse suite of this winery. The newlyweds, us, and some of Stacey’s siblings were on the balcony sipping leftover champagne and everyone else smoked a joint while I consumed about a pound of fresh cheese and meats. 

The 19th was my one day in between Osoyoos and Germany. I invited my friends to go out drinking since I hadn’t seen them in so long. And in a move that none of my friends will ever let me forget, I got wasted... karaoke was put into the mix... and long story short, I missed my 7:22am flight to Germany. In fact, Emma texted me a sweet “have so much fun!” text at 7:45am and that is what woke me up. I cannot even IMAGINE how I looked rolling into the airport... still drunk, Lululemons on inside out and backwards, glasses hanging off of my no-makeup face and full of adrenaline and anxiety. I cried, begged, sat on hold for 1.5 hours and offered some vague explanations about “last night” to the Westjet employees and was put on a later flight for a minor fee of $100. It all worked out and I only made it to Germany three hours later than I was supposed to. 

And so then... Germany. God damn, I really can’t summarize Germany. My friends nicknamed it #IBC2017 (aka: International Booty Call 2017) which is kind of exactly what it was. But oh my god. It feels so weird and cool to arrive in a country you’ve never been before and had no intention of visiting two months prior, and have a local at the airport, with flowers, to pick you up. And to BE that person having that stupid reunion. Felix lives in a fairly small-town part of Germany at the very north, so I spent most of my time there and in other small German towns around it. We also drove to Copenhagen, took a day trip to Malmo, Sweden, and visited some of the larger cities in Germany like Hamburg and Berlin. 

Ugh I can’t summarize. I’m just going to list random memories: 

We drank so much DELICIOUS German beer and ate so much bread (seriously the bread game in Germany is out of this world... I didn’t realize how much better bread could get but... wow)

I ate pastries that looked like Pepe in Copenhagen 

Felix gave me a scar from tripping while holding baked brie cheese that was literally just out of the oven and splashing me with this molten lava cheese on my arm

I rode the Drop of Doom with Felix and his two friends at this city festival in Kiel which was like a baby Stampede kind of without the country theme 

I learned that the German word for pug is “mops” which is also slang for “tits” which resulted in the most hilarious inside joke ever

Felix’s mother told me I had been touched by angels (lmao) and I got to tour the broadcasting station for all of Northern and Central Germany and see a live taping of a nutrition broadcast (in German... but still... pretty cool) 

I HAD A THREESOME IN BERLIN LOLOLOL after a wild night of clubbing. Observations post-threesome: sex without jealousy is POSSIBLE and FUN, I am super straight. Super super SUPER straight. The momentary awkwardness in between certain times was actually kind of endearing and normalizing. We invited her to hang out with us the next day but all of us were literally exhausted and hungover and she escaped into the streets of Berlin never to be seen again. Goodbye sweet German girl.

July 

I was still in Germany for the first week of July. I started to get my work schedule for that horrible job at the hotel and so impulsively I sent a polite but cowardly email to my boss from the Zurich airport notifying them of my resignation. It worked out because it was about 3am Calgary time when I sent it, which I feel added emphasis to the “fuck this job” thing, and I immediately had to board a nine hour flight so I couldn’t check my phone every five minutes for a response. 

Leaving Germany was not as sad as when Felix left Canada. I love my life in Canada and despite a brief moment at the airport where I considered just... not... returning... I soon came to my senses lmao and boarded the plane. And now I’m left with some Polaroid pictures, a few extra stamps in my passport, a beautiful handwritten letter and a million hilarious memories and the knowledge of how to say “i like big tits/pugs” in German. 

The rest of July was just work work work work work. And Stampede. I have to give props to Steven here for going out every. single. night. Where do you get this kind of stamina??? This kind of money???? Dear god. Another good friend of mine had a threesome with two pilots she met at the Cowboys tent this year. Not really a part of MY year but worth a mention nonetheless. The texts in the group chat the next morning... legendary. 

The end of July was also when I moved out of the Brenthood house. There are definitely reasons why they say not to live with your best friends but honestly???? I loved that house in a weird way. I do miss seeing my old roommates every day and having moments like when Emma texted her ex “Good night.” because he wasn’t responding to her (it was like 8pm) and he immediately... and I do mean IMMEDIATELY called her. O m g we were howling with laughter. Brenthood may have been dank and cold but it was also super fun. Miss you, my old bad bois/roommates <3 

August 

AUGUST SUCKED. AUGUST WAS THE ABSOLUTE WORST. I worked SO much and the only bright side was that I was able to pay off my entire Europe trip in cash by the first two weeks due to that sweet sweet patio-serving tip money. 

Mostly August sucked because I got chlamydia. Yep. Well, technically the chlamydia was acquired in June. But I became aware of its existence on the very first day of August. The infection itself is no big deal. It’s curable, my symptoms were very minimal, and it was really more of an inconvenience than anything else. The drugs they gave me though... oh my god they made me so violently nauseous and I literally felt my insides cramping. ZERO OUT OF TEN EXPERIENCE. NEGATIVE TEN OUT OF TEN. Would NOT recommend. The circumstances surrounding how I acquired chlamydia is what made August sucks so bad though. They sent me tumbling down into a dark place where I really do not spend much time anymore. I was very very sad. There is something to be said for really bad things happening every single time you see a certain person. Like, how many signs can the universe give you? How many ways does someone have to prove to you they are a piece of shit before you finally realize it? Apparently chlamydia will do the trick!!! 

I’m not sure if any of you have ever had an STI but in Alberta they have a very detailed record-keeping system as far as testing and treatment. So when I went through this process myself I learned that the person who gave me the STI had weeks to tell me and never did. They’d been tested and treated before I even got the call from a random nurse. I’m not sure if they were hoping I wouldn’t be able to narrow it down or whatever their motives were... but it feels pretty shitty to know that someone you trusted to wear a condom if necessary didn’t even care enough about you to let you know about an STI themselves. I felt gross and sad and ashamed to be dealing with the same old shit. 

Aaand lastly Steven moved away to Burnaby for grad school. Due to the aforementioned antibiotics I couldn’t even get drunk at his going away party which is a shame because lawd knows the man went buck wild that night. But in addition to being very proud of him it was like really sad because it signalled the beginning of the inevitable MASS MIGRATION of people I know to other places and things. 

September 

The next few months will be short and boring because I started school in September which began to encompass most of my time and energy aside from Famoso. August took a toll on me and I started school kind of burnt out, to be honest. I basically sat in class with my laptop and was antisocial and introverted. 

September was also cool because I started my involvement with the Consent Awareness and Sexual Education club. I love CASE, I love everyone IN CASE, and being a part of it has been a huge part of why I love school so much thus far. 

October 

On October 1st, I moved back out into an apartment near my workplace with a new roommate. Though much smaller than my old place, it’s more secure, I have my own bathroom, and the smallness of the apartment motivates me to spend less time there. I can also bike to work in the summertime!!! Very excited about this. I also no longer have to worry about utility bills because my rent is at a fixed rate. God bless America. 

I WENT ON A BLIND DATE. This is in all capitals and is being included because previously I would never have fucking dreamed I would be game to do this and the fact that I did is a testament to INCREASING SELF CONFIDENCE AND PERSONAL GROWTH. My best friend started dating this lovely guy and it was her who set up this double-date with one of her boyfriend’s friends. My date also had zero social media so I legit knew nothing about this man. They took us to a jazz show in Inglewood and then to Cold Garden for beer. And I ended up at his place. The details of the end to this night are fuzzy but I do remember crouching down to look at what he had on his bookshelf and seeing some Malcolm Gladwell. And I asked him some questions about it lmao and he had actually read them. And hilariously when he drove me home to my apartment the next morning I forgot to ask for his number so I just hopped out of his truck and went inside LMAOOOOO. It’s okay. He wasn’t weird enough for me. I mean that sincerely. He was too normal. I was like.. in any other scenario this guy would probably be so annoyed by me. I g2g. 

I came down with a horrible flu on what was supposed to be one of the most fun weekends of the entire semester - the CASE retreat in Banff. We went to a hostel and were undertaking workshops and bonding. We had plans to go to Banff Pride and indulge in a drag show and party party party but holy shit the flu hit me like a ton of bricks and I literally had to call someone to come rescue me in his car and take me home. Seriously tragic. 

November 

Nothing of particular importance happened in November. I just worked and studied.

December 

December december december. A busy month for sure. On the 6th, I drove up to Edmonton to attend a two-day course on responding to disclosures of sexual assault... except they cancelled the training 1.5 hours before it was about to begin. Nothing to do but drive the three hours back. Ho hum. 

I ended my first semester with a 3.9 GPA :) Super pumped about that. 

And of course... Hawaii. Honestly, as I type this, I am still reeling with post-vacation blues because Hawaii was so wonderful and wild that returning to Calgary actually sucked. I went to Honolulu for eight days all by my lonesome which to some seemed like a weird concept. But the last time I traveled solo was to England in 2014 which was possibly the worst experience of my entire life. So at the risk of sounding super lame, Hawaii was somewhat of a chance at reclaiming the big part of me that isn’t afraid to explore. It was a way to challenge my tendency to slip into introvertedness at school and a way to forget about Calgary and be that cool-girl-traveler for a week. 

I’m not sure what it is that happens to me when I’m traveling but I feel like I turn into the best version of myself. I try to be up for anything, I find genuine excitement in meeting new people, I’m not all that worried about how I look. This particular trip was made so wonderful by the people that I met. It was also the first vacation aside from Germany that I’ve taken where I didn’t get my period and didn’t get sick (A+!). But mostly it was the people ;) This cast of characters includes my hostel roommates... Elena from Tuscany (who runs a guesthouse there and said I can stay for free!!!), Mao from China, Rachelle from the states-but-living-in-Aus. And our other friends. Oliver from Denmark, Maurice from the Netherlands, Sebastian from the states. Joe from Australia. Vincent from Montreal. Rachel from Tennessee. I just totally embrace the hostel thing and went with it and it paid off in a major way. I never said “no.” I found myself hiking up to waterfalls with three of the hottest men I have ever met, snorkeling in Hanauma Bay with a super cool Brazilian, hiking Koko Head with possibly one of the worst hangovers I’ve ever had while the sun beat relentlessly down on me and 85-year-old Japanese men told me to get out of the way, rolling to the North Shore in a rented car with Oliver listening to rap music and body surfing in waves that were WAY above my skill level. I listened to my roommate have what I described as “powerful sex” from the top bunk... which was hilarious because when I later did the same thing they played the Lonely Island’s “I Just Had Sex” from Oliver’s stereo to wake me up as payback. 

But there were five of us who spent all of our time together in Hawaii. Rachelle, Maurice, Oliver, Sebastian, and me. Rachelle and I were in room 9 of the hostel and we drank there so often it became known around the hostel as “Club 9″. We partied so hard. WE MADE SO MANY FRIENDS. I walked home by myself from the club, drunk as hell and met a friendly drug dealer who bought me McDonalds and offered to take me for a nice Hawaiian breakfast the next morning. I don’t know how to encompass this trip without just listing random memories, apparently. My favourite night was the last night when I had the best sex of my life on a lifeguard stand on Waikiki beach at 2:00am. Seriously a night I will remember for the rest of my life and the cherry on top of what had already been a bold trip. 

Everyone has different reasons that bring them to a certain place at a certain time. Sometimes it’s just chance and the need for a vacation - like it was for me. But there is something so cool about how a group of people away from their regular selves and lives can form such a unique and hilarious friendship and how traveling brings out such an exciting and welcoming spirit in most people~~~~ Hawaii was the best week of my entire life and I say that with 110% certainty. 

General Things~*~* 

I think I actually figured out what I want to do with my life. Holy shit. And I made some serious progress on making it a reality and setting myself up for the future. Unlike when I was in journalism I actually feel competent. I love social work because it emphasizes the personal connection you bring to your work and your practice and your research. In journalism you always had to quash that somewhat in the protection of objectivity. 

I have made enormous progress this year in regards to relationships and sex and intimacy. I enjoy these things in a much more mature and realistic way and am more confident in myself which has allowed me to be more confident in casual sex in a legitimate and fun and EMPOWERING form of intimacy. 

Ummm. I finally levelled out and gained the permanent separation from my ex-boyfriend (and his family!!!) Not without slipups but I chalk it up nowadays to just anger rather than desiring the relationship back or his attention. Nonetheless - we live totally separate lives now. Fuck yeah. 

2018 

I NEEEEED to keep riding this wave of happy times and general ~life enjoyment~ in 2018. 

I will do the majority of my social work degree over this year including my first practicum placement (which I’ll be interviewing for next month... holy shit) and I am determined to slay it. 

I really want to deepen my participation in all of my volunteer commitments. I don’t think it would be healthy or sane to take on anything new at this point but like I’d like to get formally trained in admin for Dr. Gibbs at the CSHC or something, and move from a crisis de-escalator to an actual counsellor at Kids Help Phone. 

Alex and I are going to motha’ fuckin Thailand at the end of April. After Hawaii, my desire to explore is at an all-time high. I’m looking forward to returning to Asia with a fresh outlook and an awesome travel partner. Let’s hit that full moon party, boys. I’ll also probably go somewhere next December, too. I’m not sure where that will be yet. Early ideas are Belize/Panama/Nicaragua, or Greece/Croatia. 

Other than that, 2018 is an open book, baby!!! I cannot wait. 

[team-adults-blog]

4.05 Tinder Box

In which I make 6 references- 5 numbered and then Wizards of Waverly Place- a few jokes, and a prediction that I think is SPOT ON. Join me on this reactionary journey (in chronological order). 

Abby, Jackson is relaying the science info for the audience, not you. I know that you know, but we, the audience, do not. give him a break.

Oh, the Mt. Weather parallels. BUT Abby checks herself. To all the haters: this means Abby is good. She’s NOT doing what was done in Mt. Weather. Dr. Tsing is a foil; they are fundamentally different.

I too hate molecular biology

At least Helios is a good horse and stays with Octavia when she falls. Unlike that dog vid. (reference 1 here if you don’t immediately get this)

Hey it’s Niylah! Not on the show in the way I predicted (Octavia going to her) but she’s still playing the healing role so I’m proud I pulled that out of thin air.

Oh no Ilian I don’t trust you yet because you hate tech but thanks for saving O.

Miller’s dad is ranking officer. Yeahhhh boyyyy. So many speaking lines, such as: “the radiation’s our enemy, not the ice nation” awwwww so proud of you.

Clarke’s poker face about all things Bellamy needs some work.

Her come the prisoners. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. its Kane and Bellamy. THE MOMENT CLARKE’S BEEN WAITING FOR. (reference 2, keep playing!)

[I had to watch commercials on this rewatch and why are there commercials for books? You don’t want to cast your character so it’s just a bunch of moving dark figures over an abstract background. Pointless. Plus this Riverdale show looks unrealistic.] I learned how to use line breaks and they please me.

Riley stop it. Only like 4 more episodes until your likely death.

“They knew you were coming”- Bell so hopeful. This is lovely. But I would have preferred a little more anguish and suspense before he and Kane know she’s alive. Some good acting and character development could have come from that instead of them finding out the next day.

Octavia knows she’s not lucky Ilian brought her in. Who didn’t question his taking all these explosives? Where is everyone?

Raven and Abby love and concern <3 they are the best. Hand holding throughout their scenes this week. I dig it. 

I thought we all knew Raven had the upgrade and thus still has ALIE in her head? Jackson and Abby are just figuring this out, fine, but I knew. The people I watched with did not? They just thought Raven was really smart? When did I learn this lil’ bit of information?

Abs we gotta go back to space! Raven’s looking at the gas lines and floor map to figure out there’s a rocket ship! She didn’t know where it was, but she knew what to tell the computer to do. PURE JOY! I AM SO HAPPY RAVEN FOUND A SHIP. This seem dangerous too though…

[Commercials are only acceptable in the actual air time. OMG THERE WAS A REALLY CUTE SHELTER DOG COMMERCIAL I TAKE IT ALL BACK cwgood.com if you want to see it. Omg no I had to watch 6 commercials wtf]

Riley you suck. I want to feel nothing at your death in 4-5 episodes.

P sure Costa was just on the island with doctor tech squad? They have to be more careful about where their quaternary-and-beyond(!) characters are.

Clarke is the only one who Roan listens to. Their cave scene was v good. Don’t brag about your lack of heart about your mom to someone who literally had the worst mom. Clarke, your mother cares about you. Roan’s mom used him as a tool in her ploy for power. Telling him that you care about your people more than your mom brings up some ethical values questions. Sacrificing one to save the many seems like a fine moral argument. But when you put faces onto those people things change: A ton of strangers vs your mom? That makes the decision harder. One stranger vs your fam and closest friends? That seems like an easy decision. I don’t know if it makes you a better or worse person for being willing to sacrifice your mother, but it’s definitely not an argument I would want to make. Especially with Roan. He let Lexa spear his mom. I cheered at that scene- it was badass. It was also clear she was a villain. And a completely different relationship dynamic. Clarke could use some advice from Selena Gomez and the Wizards of Waverly Place Theme, “you might run into trouble if you go to extremes because everything is not what it seems.”  You know, with the whole list thing and promising Roan safety in the Ark and taking Jaha’s advice. S3 Clarke could have used the line “be careful not to mess with the balance of things” when she was trying to change grounder culture. Season 4: “The end will no doubt justify the means” or, alternatively, “That’s what I said” in which Jasper goes around making that’s what she said jokes but about himself.  This didn’t directly relate to what I was talking about. My head just went there.

“Riley shouldn’t be here” Good Bell! AH-chers (Kane).I don’t understand why they all have to have American accents? Like let Ian’s lovely accent out. Let Bob’s vocal cords rest. A bunch of accents would have been initially present on the Ark because it was an international force. If English became the dominant language, fine. It’s an American show I don’t care enough to argue that point. One language across the stations is understandably necessary. BUT. Accents don’t disappear. I grew up with this guy whose parents are both English- a lawyer (now head judge, whaddup) and a professor. They’re all super cool. His sister taught me how to pop-lock-and DROP it on a mission trip and went to Oxford. Anyways, both kids have accents because their English parents taught them how to speak. I don’t know for sure if by high school this guy could turn his accent on and off, depending on the social setting, but he may have left it on for maaayyyybbeeeee pretentious reasons. He’s not pretentious, but he’s charming af and flatters my grandma at the Christmas Eve service and like. He’s a little posh. A kind, good person, and probs not posh in England, but he’s posh here. The point is I’m not an expert and don’t know. HOWEVER. It is possible that he can’t turn his accent off and I’m being a dick because I’m relating his ability of turning on/off his accent to my ability to turn on/off a southern accent. The difference is that I was not raised by parents who have the southern accent- I just took one on because I rode a redneck bus and was trying to assimilate. The moral of the story is this: accents, even over 100 years, would not have homogenized to the point that Ian and Bob and Eliza and Ricky and Alycia and everyone else have to lose their accents. It’s a skill but if we follow the English guy I grew up with not losing his accent despite being around other people (and not me singing ZBB’s Chicken Fried with my friends) logic, the different accents should still be there. But then that creates issues for the show runners of having to determine which countries has people in space. There were flags at the Unity Day ceremony, and I’m pretty sure I remember there being an Indian flag, so where are they? Put Dev Patel on the show. Jk he’s too good they could never get him. How did they even get Ian? I’m happy he’s here though. Isaiah can’t get larger roles because no one likes him. I may be projecting, but I also feel like Shonda Rhimes burned that boy.

Bellamy (and a reluctant Echo) to save the day. I hope by the end of the season 1) Echo is still alive, and 2) they’ve forged some sort of trust. They’ve had a cool bond since Bellamy saves Echo from the cages™ in Mt. Weather. Then Echo “saves” Bellamy from the Azgeda assassin who blows up Mt. Weather by tricking him into going to polis. She’s like I saved you, dude. And he’s like no, you lied to me and made it possible for a bunch of my friends to die. Then she’s like hey, be my friend, I’ve had sooo many chances to kill you and still haven’t, that’s friendship right? Bellamy’s like. No. I don’t trust you. Boom. Echo captures (? She brings them into the throne room, idk if she captures them herself) Bell and Stevens (rip, tattletale) and could have killed them both. She doesn’t kill Bellamyyyyyyy… Then this scene with Riley. There’s obviously trust issues on both sides- She doesn’t remove Bell’s chains. “so much for building trust” Bell. She’s worried her king is going to be shot. This is not the moment to scold her But I think she still wants to be friends. It must be rough to be such a badass spy and not to have just one friend. Bell seems to be the Chosen One™ and I hope they can work out their differences. Post Riley they share a secret, so they’re working on itttttttttt.

[I had to reload the page and I’ve now watched 8 commercials. The girl at the booth next to me is talking about her authentic (highly not-authentic) Irish pub experience and all the musicians playing their “banjos and fiddles.” Shut the fuck up. The page timed out again. Enough. I have to watch another 6 commercialssss. I’m tired of this proactive commercial, but at least the CW knows their target audience #annoyed]

SHA-BoO0M GOES THE ARK. Well that bad deal Clarke just made is over. She may have promised Azgeda protection from radiation, but what about Trikru? You’re going to help Roan and not Indra? Not a fan of that deal. Glad it went up in smoke. Da dunn tsssshhhhhh. Puns are fun. (reference 3, same as 2). I now know why the episode is Tinder Box. It all makes sense.

Bellamy and Octavia reunited. Another shot of the shoulder tat. Clarke and the Blakes holding hands (well Bell’s holding O and Clarke’s holding her hand. Poor Kane has no one to hold. Where’s awk bff David Miller? Hold him. The Blakes could at least invite him over.

Back at Doctor Tech Squad- Raven has a stroke! Possibly fatal, who can say? Raven’s just excited to go to space, and I’m happy for her. Abby also at risk, but doesn’t want to be tested until she’s showing more symptoms than those she already has from being sleep deprived. This is pretty normal for people whose parents get diagnosed with genetic diseases. Some people want to know, but not knowing can give you hope for things that can’t be cured. Abby wants to focus on helping adorable Raven save the whole world. But. Hey, how ya doing, well I’m doing just fine, I lied, I’m dying inside my brain and starting to have hallucinations of my daughter dying from radiation. (reference 4. I couldn’t find the one I wanted but imagine a vine of that over this) So now we’re worried about Raven and Abby. Will Abby tell Jackson? My thoughts- No. she’ll try to hide it as long as she can, working on a cure for Raven, then help herself. Yet I don’t see either of them dying? Raven is too important plot-wise and the writers and viewers lovelovelove the character. My argument for Abby living is more of a personal one and then behind the scenes of Paige Turco being a parent who’s very forward with her scheduling (why she doesn’t typically do up fronts etc so she can have separate work and son time) and probs has her contract locked down.

Not my fave episode, lots of callbacks to earlier seasons, but generally not super satisfying plot. Mainly because 4.04 set up these storylines- Octavia on her way back, Doctor Tech Squad reaching the lab, Bellamy and Kane as prisoners. The Polis/ Arkadia plotlines fell short somehow of their build. There were conflicts, but it lacked drama? If that makes sense.. I enjoyed the lab plot because all Raven x Abby interactions have great energy, not to mention they found a rocket. That story still feels like it’s still advancing and keeping the drama up. Props to Miller Sr. for getting more speaking lines in one episode than he did in the entirety of S3.

OMG- A THOUGHT-

what if. they send. Thelonious frickin Jaha. into space instead of Raven?

Stay with me here: Raven could have a seizure which is a risk. Jaha was an engineer and is capable- they’ve been slowly using that in the story and I was wondering when it would actually become plot relevant. BTS: Isaiah Washington finished filming his stuff before everyone else. I doubt he’s dead, but if all his stuff is him by himself/ him video chatting in from the ship, this explains how he could have wrapped up so quickly without dying. Additionally, he needs a big redemption for people to like him again after the CoL. Holy cow I think I’m on to something here! He and Kane S1 were rivals both trying to become martyrs/ find salvation. Thelonious wins, Marcus goes to Earth. But then Jaha makes it to Earth too because he knows how to run a pod. I am heartbroken for Raven, it’s really going to suck getting benched if I’m right. More so when I know Abby and Jackson are probably going to be the ones to tell her and they’ll get so much hate. But Raven and Abby can coach Jaha through some of the medical/ technical stuff (a la Apollo 13-reference 5- and Lieutenant Dan. I don’t remember the dude’s name in that movie- the actor is Gary something p. sure, but he’s in Forrest Gump with T.Hanks too so I don’t feel that bad. He also got benched for a medical issue (back to Apollo 13) that he didn’t get so this tangent was not a waste. He was needed to problem solve and figure out how to save the men on Apollo 13. Raven could parallel this.) and still be a team, which I like. I just want Raven to be happy, she deserves that. I don’t want Jaha to have a lot of glory for doing this either. If it was Raven hell yes. But for him it’s the least he can do. That’s wrong of me, but their histories are incredibly different. 

[gethealthy18-blog]

6 Bollywood Couples And How Compatible Their Zodiac Signs Really Are

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6 Bollywood Couples And How Compatible Their Zodiac Signs Really Are

Saumya Gaur May 8, 2019

Bollywood has often been the source of inspiration for us, Mango people. Be it in terms of the latest fashion trends or the right way to celebrate festivals (we’re talking about the dramatic Karwa Chauth). But if there is one thing that almost all of us look up to in Bollywood, it is its larger than life love stories that make us feel weak in our knees.

Every era of Bollywood has given us epic love stories, with royal pairings such as Dilip Kumar-Saira Bano, Ajay Devgn-Kajol, Ranveer-Deepika, etc.

But have you ever wondered how is it that some of these pairings managed to flourish despite all the trappings of the glam world, while many others couldn’t? Intrigued by this question, we made a list of 6 most popular pairs in Bollywood and studied their compatibility according to their individual zodiacs and that yielded some pretty interesting results. Are you hooked yet? Read on to know more about our findings!

1. Virat Kohli-Anushka Sharma

virat.kohli / Instagram

The dashing cricketer Virat Kohli’s zodiac sign is Scorpio while his gorgeous spouse Anushka Sharma’s zodiac is Taurus. In terms of basic nature, these zodiacs are polar opposites of each other, but they say opposites attract, and that explains this unique coupling. However, their relationship is not as breezy as one might imagine it to be from their very mushy Instagram feed. It is all about effort and longing for one another that worked in their favor. Add to that their commitment, and that seems to be the secret recipe for their success story.

Taurean Anushka is attracted to the intense, emotional nature of Virat’s Scorpio, while he is drawn to her calm and serene vibe. At its core, their relationship is very passionate, both emotionally and physically.

2. Abhishek Bachchan-Aishwarya Rai Bachchan

bachchan / Instagram

While the scion of the Bachchan khaandaan is an Aquarian, his lovely wife, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan is a Scorpio. Even if we leave aside other aspects, this unique pairing of the zodiacs is itself an indication of the dynamic couple’s one-of-a-kind equation.

Traditionally, their zodiacs don’t go together, but this relationship thrives because they both love challenges. While the Scorpio woman in Aishwarya loves Abhishek’s happy-go-lucky Aquarian ways, he is charmed by Aishwarya’s passionate and at times, possessive display of love. Though it is smooth sailing at present, the fiery and stubborn side of both the zodiacs could play a spoilsport in their relationship.

3. Ranveer Singh-Deepika Padukone

deepikapadukone / Instagram

The human livewire, Ranveer Singh is a Cancerian whereas his demure and graceful spouse, Deepika Padukone’s zodiac is Capricorn. Just like Virushka, this couple too is an example of the union of two different personalities

While our Cancerian Ranveer is a happy-go-lucky, at-ease-everywhere sorta fella, his ladylove is more career-oriented and ambitious.

Their paring isn’t conventional and goes against the stereotypically gendered pairing. While Ranveer is an emotional being, Deepika is more pragmatic and methodical, which might make her seem cold and distant. But it’s her pragmatic side that allows her to fully appreciate the caring and warm nature of Ranveer.

4. Shahrukh Khan-Gauri Khan

gaurikhan / Instagram

Like another gentleman on this list, Shahrukh is a Scorpio man. Gauri’s zodiac sign is Libra. Both these zodiacs are very harmonious together, and it’s evident from this couple’s wonderful chemistry. Both these zodiacs treasure the values of commitment which is why this is such a solid pairing.

This couple likes spending time with each other and is completely invested in each other. The characteristics of a Scorpio man such as passion, intensity, and seductiveness find a pleasing contrast in the Libran woman’s charming and elegant nature. The only catch is that because they are so different from each other, they might face some roadblocks in communication which might affect their relationship.

5. Anand Ahuja-Sonam Kapoor Ahuja

anandahuja / Instagram

Anand’s Leo has found an apt partner in Sonam’s Gemini and that this pairing gets on together like a house on fire is evident from their Instagram feed. In fact, if there is one couple in tinsel town that sure knows how to have a good time, it’s theirs. The reason that they are so good together is that the basis of their relationship is sound friendship. The only hiccup in their relationship will occur when they have to adapt to changes together. Sonam being a Gemini has an inherent duality to her nature. Her personality and moods can change quite unexpectedly and quickly which is something that Anand can have difficulty understanding. But their mutual respect for each other will always strengthen their relationship.

6. Saif Ali Khan-Kareena Kapoor Khan

therealkareenakapoor / Instagram

Bebo’s Virgo has found its soulmate in Saif’s Leo. The negatives and positives of both these zodiacs even out when they are together. The roguish nature of the Leo man finds a sobering influence in the Virgo woman. Their stimulating conversation is the mainstay of their relationship, while she is intuitive and sensitive, he is a perfectionist who seeks attention to detail. All in all, they make for an ideal couple. The only foreseeable issue is that Saif’s arrogance as a Leo may prove to be too much at times for Kareena’s no-nonsense nature.

You see, the blossoming love stories of these stars were quite literally written in their stars. Do you agree with these observations? Share your opinions in the comments section.

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love stories do not surprise as much as spark curiosities. 

this is a paul soriano film, apparently his first love story at that, and i did not know what to expect, which was new. where local love stories are concerned, i am not used to not knowing. (that’s not to say knowing diminishes a movie’s entertainment value in any way). the trailer release did not help abate these curiosities. the intentional vagueness of the trailer was begging for film references, so calling out movies like ‘one day,’ ‘adam,’ ‘remember sunday,’ ‘a walk to remember,’ ‘tfios, and ‘lysb’ was comforting. it was something i could hold onto going into the cinemas before getting lost in the movie and what it is.

and what it is, is a cinematic masterpiece on its own. i dare say even better than those hollywood movies this one evokes. just a thought: i know it is a standard of excellence to say this movie is ‘parang hollywood.’ i get that, that’s the gold standard after all. but i hope we become confident enough in our local film makers, and that we give them enough creative freedom to do their best work so that we do not have to draw comparisons to hollywood. our standard should be good enough, and that standard should be world class. 

this is a love story to be sure, there is nothing new about that. a boy meets a girl, they fall for each other, and in the end, one way or another, they will live out their happy ending, however which way that horizon looks like, however long that ever after is. there is a concept that hopeless romantics have a keen awareness of time running out so they operate with a more intense sense of urgency. i love that. if that’s the case, then there is no truer, more romantic movie than this. 

this is a story about a girl with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy - she’s a girl with a bad heart. she’s straddling one line between life and death, and another which is the uncertain probability of being on the wait list for a new one. it’s like living life on three different timeline’s - life’s, death’s, and limbo’s.

this is a story about a boy who is both carefree and calculated, coasting through life while dragging time along for the ride.

this is a story of ali, and nick, individually. this is a story on self-love, as much as it is a romance. i did not understand it at first, only to realize that ali pursuing nick at the beginning is more for herself than it is for the prospect of romance or  anything else. she manages to be brazen with nick. because circumstances have allowed her to throw caution to the wind. nick is ali’s much needed ‘proof of life,’ she tests whatever is left of the zeal she has for life, on him, before she came to love him at an undetermined moment in time. 

ali and nick operate on two different life clocks. they fall in love, the world falls away, it is intimate, that there is almost a voyeuristic quality to watching it unfold, and time stops.

it’s not so much the story, as it is how the story is told. it’s not so much what it wants to say, it’s in how this movie chooses to paint and sing its message.

cinema. cinema is also called motion picture, moving pictures. this is a motion picture, both a literal and figurative moving picture - and i have seen a lot. i have had weird looks thrown my way, or heads shaking in disapproval, ‘you’re brain is mush, full of romance,’ they’d say. and i am extremely picky, almost snobbish, so you can be sure i am not exaggerating. 

‘treat everyone you meet like they have a broken heart...’

with this line, the groundwork for the entire film is laid out, with this line nick and ali’s journey begins.

there is something to the choice of words, the economy and intent of the dialogue usage, that is such a stroke of genius, and is particularly special. ‘first love’ is not a silent movie, but it is a quiet film. it is uncluttered by unnecessary declarations of love, lamentations of fear and sadness. it does not impress with manifestos of strength through adversity, and flowery orations of false hopes in an uncertain future. the lines are sparse, and well placed. the dialogue present elicits the right kind of emotion - it was sad, heart wrenching, happy, kilig funny when it needed to be. and it’s all intelligent evocation of emotion.the movie gives us enough, just to guide its audience through the story, enough, for the characters to introduce themselves and the burdens they carry. to those who choose to care, and enough is just right. it’s perfect. those lines linger....the lines ring in your head, the way impressive literature does, and then it vanishes into thin air, and leaves an imprint in your heart. i just realized this now, and i don’t know if it’s an experience that’s uniquely my own, but i would listen for the lines, i would want to remember it, and i do, but for a moment i forget the lines, as if those lines cease to matter and all i could see is ali and nick, their faces, their eyes, and without words, i completely understand.

the backdrop of the seas, the mountains the landscape and the color of vancouver set the quiet tone of the movie, its unhurried pace, another character that takes the lead. if it wasn't for vancouver i do not think this movie will be what it was. 

if being a fan is having watched almost every movie and tv show of an actor, then i am a bea alonzo fan. i’d ‘met’ her back when i did not really understand what being a fan was. it was in the earlier days of message boards and online fandom presence. i was removed from it and reluctant, even though i had fun with it sometimes, so i was not okay with being that kind of fan, the way i am okay with being a fan right now, but i am a fan. to me she is a foregone conclusion. i may like some of her projects more than others, but if she’s in it, she’s all the reason i need. to say that i have come to know what to expect of a bea alonzo portrayal is a safe assumption. she will be great, she will transform. i expect nothing less. it is not until ali, though, that i lost bea, and it was all ali. it’s none of those ‘hey bea alonzo is playing ali really well!’ it’s more ‘bea alonzo who?!’ and it’s not even the big acting choices, it’s in the details, the nuances - the way she looks at nick. her eyes, her eyes, her eyes. for this character, a particular favorite idiosyncratic choice is how she twitches her head sideways, with lips upturned into a smile, and hopeful eyes. with soul, the depths of which are endless. every time she does that, my heart melts.

aga mulach is the dream leading man. he is one of the greats. i can see why. i completely understand why, and i feel it all the time, every time i see him on screen, but on this movie, i see it, i understand it, i feel it all at once. this is inexplicably different from all the different times i’ve watched him, maybe because of the utter naturalism of it all? it’s effortless, like he did not even lift a finger. for the first time, i find something i do not understand to be so beautiful.

time is a malleable construct on this movie, the unseen character that takes our leads on a ride. nick and ali are both on the palm of time’s hand. ali challenges father time, while nick is at his mercy. his subtlety of forgetting is as heartbreaking as her urgency to remember. she is resolve, while he is resignation. she is destiny, she is fate. he is coincidence.

coincidence -  random events or circumstances without apparent causal connection.

destiny - random events coming together for a specific purpose.

the definition of that purpose is the story this movie tells. 

ali and nick reside on completely opposite sides of the spectrum, so the two of them coming together, and every little moment that contributes to the shared grander design of their lives is a miracle,

in that miracle are bright flashes of light that are the people that surround them.

sandy andolong as ali’s selfless, suffering, and strong mother, too strong, she comes off as harsh sometimes. she’s one character i admit, i initially did not understand, and did not really feel until the second viewing. truth be told, everything and everyone on this movie makes more sense on the second, third, fourth viewing. her silence for the most part, makes the weight of her emotions, and conflict more pronounced. her silence makes her words resonate louder. 

albie casino as seb, as ali’s art student brother, best friend, and foil for their sometimes intense mother. he surprised me in the best ways possible. i am trying not to spoil here, but, i did not realize a character like his could be played like he did. he was dependable, he was there to take whatever bea gave him, and he did it while staying true to his character and giving seb as much grace and dignity, he, and everyone like him deserves.

edward barber as simon, as nick’s...nick’s person. (vague enough?) i have had my eye on this kid ever since the start. those role playing bits, and that one impressive on air audition, not to mention the kid’s heart, and smarts. more than being a fan, it’s an instinct, it’s looking into his eyes and knowing he has it. i do not understand his current path, but i accept it. i am grateful for notable cameos and golden chances. on behalf of him, i am grateful for this. now, simon is the mystery character who wasn’t spoken much about in the junket, so our imaginations ran away with it only to find out that the mystery and connection was more grounded than where we ran, but it was oh so compelling. it took time, two viewings, and a number of belated aha moments to finally get it. nick’s character rests heavily on who simon is. simon is nick’s chance at redemption. he is nick’s ticket to salvation. and that journey to salvation is unexpectedly heartbreaking in its simplicity. there are people, i know, who wanted simon’s character to be more explicit, and i understand that. in one of the casual, but powerful conversations between simon and nick, the connection was implied, and that connection makes complete sense in the context of  the nature of the movie as a whole. i personally wanted nick to be forthright to simon, find words, name names...and then i realized, through edward’s eyes, simon knew what he needed to know all along.

it may be that the kid’s gifted, that he is built for this, but i am in awe of how such a significant character could be brought to life with that much ease, as if he is a mere support. he grew into the character. he will only get better. of course there is still so much to learn, but his innate gift, right now, is enough. in the junket edward had said this is his dream role, to be the support, the sidekick but judging by his portrayal in this movie, he has a knack for making sidekicks and support characters just as relevant. he is able to explain his character, how he figures in the story, without giving anything away. he was the only one who was able to do that. i feel he is destined for bigger things, bigger roles, but for him to be given a support role that is anything but sidekick and for him to play it as it is written? that’s a gift. there is more where that came from, and it’s exciting. in many ways simon, the character is what gives this love story novelty. he is why this movie deviates. it reminds me of enrique gil’s david esguerra on 2013′s ‘she’s the one,’ whose character challenges what would have been a typical best friend romance. the mystery surrounding this character is one of the reasons the storytelling felt new.

the plot is presented in several kinetic parts. it moves on a number of several different timelines reminiscent of the movie adaptation of the musical ‘the last 5 years’ about a couple whose marriage is ending. jaime tells the story from beginning to end, while cathy begins at the end. jaime and cathy only converge at the point of their wedding day. this movie feels the same way, in that ali and nick go through life at different paces. they only manage to exist in the world at normal speed, and with as much clarity when they meet. because of each other they manage to have an existence forever altered, but all the more richer. 

a moment on this movie towards the climax, also strangely reminds me of a moment, and a line on ‘everyday i love you.’ liza soberano’s character audrey locsin twirls and spins around when she senses a change coming.  'pag ang isang bagay hindi nagbago, kahit ilang beses umikot ang mundo, di mo na dapat pakawalan yon.' the difference is, on this movie a spin brings about an irrevocable physical change, however that same spin fortifies ali and nick’s emotional bound, that it transcends the physical change. all these moving components are stacked, layers upon layers, upon layers. with the intention of  the narrative unfolding, and so for the viewer, this becomes a journey of discovery, a beautiful one at that.

most of the power of this movie rests on abstract concepts, ideas on life, and death and love in between. there is minimal dialogue, so it is not a soapbox at all. the trick was to find visual cues and treatments to translate the abstract. some of my favorite visual cues are the (foot) traffic lights, the marquees, and the over all camera work. the result is a whimsical visual feast made of starry skies, and outer space an open field,  where an astronaut and natgeo photographer live out their dreams. how it is even possible to paint the picture of transition in a dream like, other worldly, enchanting manner? i will never understand. all i know is my heart is better for it.  it’s the kind that one gets so willingly lost in, before it finds you and calls you by name. it recognizes you, takes you by the hand through this journey, at the end of it, you find yourself not wanting to let go.

this is the part where i usually make a list of my favorite movie moments, but because every picture is a moment every moment is a favorite. this reminds me of what bea said in the junket: she doesn’t remember the exact moment ali fell in love with nick. she did not plan it.

this movie, being a true motion picture that it is, is a collection of moving pictures, perfectly composed snapshots, a collection of moments. it makes sense. there was no single moment to fall, because every moment is a moment to fall, a moment of discovery, every moment feels like the first, thus ‘first love.’

this layered and fluid quality, and the fact that the movie seems to be steps ahead of the viewer in the best ways possible, makes for such an engrossing viewing experience, an experience you would want to have over and over again, each time an opportunity to see something new. i needed that second viewing, because on the first i was stunned speechless, while my friends were flooding the cinema (i love you girls!) maybe because my brain works first before my heart does. i am proud to have cried the second time around.

‘she saved a life. she needs a heart. she’s too pure for my heart.’

my favorite line in the movie is the hypothesis challenged and proven to be false by the film. nick became deserving of her love. and the moment nick decided to give ali his heart, she became his purpose.

this is written at the end of the month that carried the weight of two different family wakes in the span of two weeks, two different losses (which explains the delay of this being up. sorry). by a girl who grew up by the cemetery, who made playmates out of the dead’s memories. the same girl who counters questions on her openness to haunting and ghosts with a snarky ‘hindi nila ako mumultohin, kilala nila ako eh, alam nilang matatakutin ako, mababait sila sa akin.’

this is how the movie feels. the loss weighs heavy on the heart, and although the loss is permanent, there are always ways to appreciate life’s living moments, and when those moments pass, there is also a way to befriend memories. 

i cried.

i cried, not because this is a movie about death and loss, and grieving.  i even forgot this movie was about all those things. this movie is life affirming. i cried. every moment since they met, up to their last, nick and ali never stopped making plans together. they never stopped dreaming together, even transcending the beyond, and bridging the gap. that’s what great love is.

‘the heart gets what it wants, at walang makakapigil dito.’

and the heart gets what it needs, eventually, the heart gets what it deserves.

this is a love story, a life story, that death simply sets in motion.

‘hope to live...’

ali and nick would always say....

this movie is a reminder.

to love while there is life,

to hope

is to live.

(october 29, 2018. with  my ❤ full, and ‘ikaw lang ang aking mahal’ playing in my head.  🎶😊 ~p)

[lindyhunt]

4 Comics Who Are Keeping it Real About Motherhood ( and 4 Who Are Proudly Not Procreating)

Having children is one of life’s greatest pleasures…or so I’m told. But what happens when you become a mother and life is not the mommy-blog perfection that we all expect it to be? Lucky for all of us, some  comedians have given us all a glance into the unfiltered world of pregnancy and parenting. And, greatest pleasure or not, that shit seems terrifying). An important part of the conversation when it comes to motherhood is that it’s a choice, and probably shouldn’t be considered the default choice for women. That’s not to say that women who don’t breed don’t like children, they’ve just decided that it doesn’t fit into their lifestyle. Like that time that I got side bangs without realizing the amount of work I would have put in  to styling them every day. And yes, I’m saying bang maintenance is exactly the same child rearing.

Regardless of whether or not you want to raise tiny humans, here are the voices of comedy who are keeping it real on all ends of the spectrum.

Ali Wong 

“I used to hate on other moms for the clothes that they wore, you know, all the cheesy-ass animal print and loud metallic shiny shoes, and now I see something that’s bedazzled in rhinestones and I’m like ‘oh that looks nice, I think I’m gonna get that,’ because when you’re a mom you need sparkle to compensate for the light inside of you that has died.”

I’m grateful the weekend is over. #WorkIsEscape #TGIM

A post shared by Ali Wong (@aliwong) on May 28, 2018 at 7:03am PDT

There’s something so incredibly wonderful about watching a heavily pregnant, 5’3″ woman dancing around the stage with her middle finger high in the air. Ali Wong became a household name in 2015 when she released her stand-up special Baby Cobra on Netflix. At the time, she was seven months pregnant with her first child. Three years later, and equally pregnant Wong came back on stage for her new Netflix collar, Hard Knock Wife, to report back to us on childbirth and motherhood. She gave the audience and viewers a…graphic look into what she’s been up to since we last saw her. She spoke about childbirth, breastfeeding and how she sometimes wants to throw her kid in the garbage (fair enough). She also speaks on her choice to continue her career after having children, and how that’s a choice she was privileged to be able to make. To sum up, Ali Wong should write a parenting book ASAP. Even my childless-self would read that thing cover to cover.

Natasha Leggero

“It is very humbling to think that you’re carrying life inside of you, you know? I don’t want to get too emotional but it’s even more overwhelming then when I realize that it’s gonna be five more months before I can do drugs again.” 

A post shared by Natasha Leggero (@natashaleggero) on May 25, 2018 at 4:43pm PDT

Best known for her blasé delivery of shock-comedy, Leggero’s stand-up will have you thinking whether or not you should feel bad for laughing (you should, but it’s okay). When she walked out on stage for her set in The Honeymoon Stand Up Special (which she did with her husband, Moshe Kasher) heavily pregnant in a sequin minidress and white-fur coat and told the audience to hold their applause because she was “still in the abortion zone,” Leggerro proved that she had no intention in changing her comedic style due to her maternal-status (nor should she!). Though Leggero hasn’t released any new material since the birth of her daughter, she’s taken to Instagram to reassure fans that she’s still the same-old Natasha. Whether she’s posting a photo of her breastfeeding while adorned in gold or introducing her daughter to the world of Vogue, she’s making sure that her comedic voice is still known.

Katherine Ryan

“My daughter’s six. Right now I just have to keep her hair out of her face and her hands out of her pants and I’ve nailed the day.”

💜

A post shared by kathbum (@kathbum) on Aug 9, 2017 at 11:19am PDT

Originally from Canada, this UK-based comedian released her Netflix special — In Trouble — in 2017. Ryan talked about her dating life, pop culture and life as a single mother. She’s also quick to gossip about the other moms that she has to interact with, which is relatable to anyone with or without a child. In her most recent set at Noel at the Apollo, Ryan tells her audience all about a mother at her daughter’s school named Jane. “Does anyone know Jane from the North London school run?…Jane said to me ‘Katherine, you must be so sad that you don’t have a husband at Christmas.’ This coming from the woman whose ham-coloured husband Brian is a man I’ve never seen out of a bicycle helmet.” Whether it’s dealing with the death of her child’s pet or bringing her kid along so that she can meet Prince Harry (true story), Katherine and her daughter are setting up to be the modern-day Gilmore Girls.

Tig Notaro

“I feel like [my wife] and I are doing a great job, I really do. But I also feel like it would be reasonable if somebody called child protective services a couple of times.”

When I have to share my Cheerios 😕

A post shared by Tig Notaro (@tignotaro) on Mar 5, 2018 at 2:02pm PST

A veteran on the stand-up comedy circuit, Tig Notaro has always included her personal life in her bone-dry comedy. In 2015 she released her documentary Tig on Netflix, which followed her ability to find humour in her breast cancer diagnosis and eventual double mastectomy. In her newest Netflix special, Happy to be Here, Notaro had much happier experiences to draw from. She spends most of the hour telling stories about her wife Stephanie and their baby twin boys Max and Finn. A lot of her material now stems from her kids, including her one son’s sudden outbursts. “A couple month’s ago, he just out of nowhere yelled ‘I’m gay’.. yeah, Max the whole family is gay, it’s not a big deal, except for Finn but even [our cat] is bi-curious.”

Michelle Wolf

“If having babies really was the best job in the world, men would’ve figured out a way for them to do it.”   

Not in the spirit of the mission.

A post shared by Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) on Apr 29, 2018 at 9:52pm PDT

Michelle Wolf is most recently known for her set at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner which received mixed reviews to say the least. Now, she has her own show called The Break with Michelle Wolf on Netflix where she does a little bit of everything. In the premiere episode, Wolf sat with her friend and fellow comic Amber Ruffin to talk about their choice not to have kids. This isn’t a new topic for Wolf however, she touched on the concept of “making a human” in her HBO Special, Nice Lady. “It should be hard to make a human. It’s hard to make a croissant. It takes three days to make a croissant, you can make a human in that bathroom. You cannot make a croissant in that bathroom.”

Sarah Silverman

“I love kids, but I also really love what I do. Which is anything I want, all of the time.”    

A post shared by Sarah Silverman (@sarahksilverman) on Nov 20, 2017 at 11:56am PST

Sarah Silverman is another stand-up comedy veteran to speak about the idea of motherhood. Silverman is known for never holding back, so it seemed perfectly normal for us to share her ideas on having children in a monologue for her show I Love You, America. Silverman also brought it up when she was on Chelsea with Gloria Steinem and Chelsea Handler, all who have chosen not to have kids. “Loving kids  and having kids of your own are two very different things. The thought of having my own baby completely paralyzes me.”

Chelsea Handler

“Sometimes in your 20s and 30s people will trick you into having kids. But it’s possible to remain childless and alone. You just have to want it.” 

This sums up what I’m dealing with on the home front. Every day, it’s like I’m starting over.

A post shared by Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) on May 22, 2018 at 4:52pm PDT

Chelsea Handler has always made her aversion to having children known in her material. In her show, Chelsea, she has a recurring PSA spoof called Kids: They’re Not That Great. She is seen having a cocktail in her bathrobe or binge watching TV, telling people that being childless is actually pretty great. She even got wrapped into hosting a kids Halloween party, and it’s absolutely hilarious.

Jen Kirkman

“If you do something as big as having a kid…you gotta have an urge to be good at it and an urge to do it. And I’ve never had the urge to ruin my life.” 

Hello world!

As you can see – I’m not on tour right now. I’m on a job writing to bring you entertainment on the streaming teevee. Some years I hit 30-40 cities in about 3 countries – this is not that year! So far! ✈️✈️✈️ But there are plans and things in place for fall and winter – and things will go on sale before that. My weekly email newsletter is THE ONLY way to find out what’s going on in my head – where I’m thinking of heading next and why. 📝📝📝📝So, join up! Again, I am not on a big tour this year – I’m just going to be popping up in really surprising places in America and beyond. I KNOW WHAT they are – but you don’t! Cuz you’re not on my newsletter. CLICK LINK IN BIO TO JOIN. It takes you to my website homepage and the link is there. 🌟🌟🌟🌟😁 *****any question you ask below about what city I am coming to is literally the reason I have a newsletter. Save me the headache. The answer to all questions is JOIN MY NICE FRIENDLY FUN PERSONALLY WRITTEN BY ME 🙋🏻‍♀️ every week newsletter*******

A post shared by Jen Kirkman (@jenkirkman) on Mar 5, 2018 at 8:46am PST

In Jen’s first Netflix Special, I’m Going to Die Alone (and I Feel Fine), Kirkman speaks out about not having kids has never been an issue for her as much as the people around her. She even published a book in 2013 called I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales From a Happy Life Without Kids. Needless to say, kids have never been on Kirkman’s radar, and the only problem she has with it is the fact that people have a problem with it.

[kinetic-elaboration]

March 8: Thoughts on 1x10 I Am Become Death

Friday tomorrow. Watching I Am Become Death tonight instead of sleeping.

I don’t think I ever noticed the random severed arm in the Exodus ship wreckage before. Or the random ribs.

I hate to say it but I semi-side with Finn re: the Grounders but he’s otherwise annoying. “Clarke shouldn’t be out here” blah blah whatever--you clearly don’t know her at all because obviously she’d be out there first. Raven gets her better and Raven/Clarke should have been a thing.

“Why they’re coming doesn’t matter anymore”--lol truer words were never spoken. Seriously. And it’s quite sad.

“We move in formation”--what an actual army.

This is one of Jasper’s more annoying scenes, telling the bridge story, but at least he’s acting 15, which I appreciate; also Octavia is semi-more annoying (that’s your friend lol, get over your grumpiness); and also it’s all worth it for the lines “Let us have this” and “my boy’s a folk hero.” (I’m hearing my and you can’t stop me, Netflix subtitles that say the.)

Why would these bozos shoot into the woods when they know they have people out there? I’m surprised they didn’t all friendly-fire themselves to death in season 1.

Remember when this show was creative enough to do stuff like bio warfare? Good times. What happened to that?

I don’t feel remotely bad for anyone who got sick in this episode either (other than Murphy) because banishing him was Grade A stupid and they deserved what they got.

Speaking of not-shining moments, Bellamy’s (completely unbelievable) desire to shoot Murphy dead in the middle of the dropship is ridiculous. I say unbelievable because he absolutely would not have done it and ridiculous because yet again, hate to say it, but Finn and Clarke are right and Bellamy’s position is silliness. Also really dogmatic in an Ark-like way: we said we’d kill in this circumstance so I guess we gotta do it! Not a rebel king moment for sure.

“After we interrogate him we send him back out in the woods, repeating the exact same mistake we already made and that has led to our secrets being shared with our enemy.” LOL nevermind Clarke’s dumb as rocks too. Who wrote this and why do they hate all the characters?

I am not going to talk about the Harper scene because it’s past midnight and I’m trying to be less of a masochist but suffice it to say most people who talk about this scene could stand to, I don’t know, crazy, out there idea here, actually watch it before spouting off their big mouths. Not that I’m BITTER at all or anything.

Also: Monty’s a slut in the making and kind of sexist, he is bad at minding his own business, I want Jasper’s shoes. I may have Jasper’s shoes, just as low tops.

I lied I am talking about it. The way Monty’s expression changes when Jasper tells him to float himself and his sad “I’m just telling you the truth” IS Monty in a nutshell. You ever wondered what the definitive Monty line is? It’s that one. He has no tact and the emotional intelligence of a brick. It’s the truth so what’s wrong with telling it?? Right???

Also here we have an early example of Jasper (a child with emotional intelligence beyond his years) knowing just how to push buttons and show cruelty. Fuck this was quite possibly the best written character on the show and then they drove him into a ditch and I’m so angry. He simultaneously did a 180 in character, and also stayed IC. That’s like the writing dream.

I want a deleted scene where Bellamy gifts Jasper the tent (also btw to people who were simultaneously Bellamy stans and Jasper haters and who like to point to the bridge scene as a knock against my favorite awkward bisexual: Bellamy thought he did the right thing and actually rewarded him for it so...go float yourself as they say). Because I think Jasper, with his Obvious Bellamy Crush, probably almost fainted.

One minute of Clarke/Raven interaction and I get all on the edge of my seat. They get so little.

Few images more iconic than Clarke crying blood.

This Murphy + Clarke + Bellamy scene is Clarke at her finest, and a good example of Bellamy being all-emotion, no-logic tbqh. He’s sure looking fine though.

The Mountain Man in Lincoln’s notebook...

Clarke is so sneaky and gives no fucks. Telling Bellamy she’ll keep O on the third floor and then immediately sending her back out. I mean, again, smart, but one of those moments when I just sincerely wonder how anyone, even Bellamy, can ever REALLY trust her.

Lincoln wants to go “East, to the sea, then across it.” He’s not...really discussing crossing the Atlantic is he? He’s gotta be talking about a different sea. Does he mean like the Chesapeake Bay?? That’s gotta be it. Also Luna’s rig is most decidedly not in Europe or Africa lol.

Dude I think I might have just seen Manny Jacinto. Wild.

Clarke with her blood-eyes and humongous weaponry firing shots into the air is surprisingly hot; this distresses me.

It’s weird how I technically ship Bellarke and quite hard at that but these flirting scenes, or B knocking out the guy threatening Clarke, aren’t doing anything for me. Perhaps because I’m finding Bellamy rather obnoxious--IC but obnoxious--in this particular ep.

I think when Octavia starts helping the sick delinquents is when she decides not to leave with Lincoln but bounces back to feeling an affiliation with the 100.

This is such a deja vu moment for me but I always laugh at Finn’s “you don’t know me very well.” UH YOU THINK?

I’m sorry but Finn doesn’t get enough credit for the blowing up the bridge idea. I know it ended up being a lot more violent than he wanted it to be (tbh this would have been better if he’d been more staunchly pacifist from the get go and then upset when lives were lost to his plan but whatever)--but it was still a good plan.

I guess I can see how people can interpret Monty’s reaction to Jasper’s “flirting” with Harper as jealousy but IMO this is a stretch because if he WERE interested in her why was his main message to his best friend in the earlier scene “You should fuck that pussy”? The more obvious interpretation is that Jasper, who does not have an interest in Harper, is “flirting” with her to mess with Monty and that Monty realizes that or that Jasper isn’t flirting, just actually being nice (I KNOW! A boy! NICE?!?!?) and Monty is interpreting it as a jab at him because he’s in a sour mood and they’re fighting. Regardless, Harper--a character we have literally never seen before this episode--is literally just a pawn for their relationship growth let’s not forget that.

“That’s cute.”

Finn won’t pick up a gun--probably the best evidence that he’s actively a pacifist. Shame an actively pacifistic character hasn’t really existed on this show after S1.

“The men who built the A-bomb thought they were peacemakers too. How’d that work out for them?” Oh how I miss the idea that this show would consider humanity’s rush to its own self-destruction! Or just frankly the framing of the universe as the after-effect of the real choices we really made and are making in the real world, drawn out to their ultimate conclusions. The ALIE story line is, in this sense, even worse than the atrocity of S4 because the retcon just all but elided humanity’s responsibility for its destruction and that just...boils my blood tbqh.

This scene, where Bellamy tells Jasper to take the shot at the bridge, is a great example of Devon Bostick’s Face. Kid has great bones. (He’s actually real life younger than me so I’m allowed to call him a Kid indefinitely that’s the rule.)

Bellamy falling into the tent = me in law school. Also p. sure Jasper’s immune but Bellamy’s concern is nevertheless touching.

Bellamy and O are no Elliot and Darlene but they have their moments.

The Dramatic Zoom In on Finn’s face when Monty tells him that Raven took the bomb is Grade A Hilarious.

Jasper breaks first in the Jonty fight, as I’m sure he always does. No one holds a grudge like Monty. Or is vicious like Monty. “Why don’t you ask your new friends?” is a touch catty and probably the gayest thing he’s ever done (sorry but the boy is canonically straight and always has been...queer him as you wish, I certainly do, but let’s not pretend it’s an interpretation grounded in the text lol.) (What a tangent.)

This is a good Bellarke scene, though. I especially like Clarke’s “Trust? No. I do believe in second chances though”--a good line to remember when trying to keep her IC. (Though I maintain that the idea of second chances and being less judgmental is something she learned in S1, not a pre-pilot trait; see: Wells); and Bellamy’s “Maybe if we close all the doors the Grounders will think we’re not home” like I love that sense of humor.

They’re so rude about Finn and Jasper. Jasper’s a good shot asshats--he saw those Grounders in the last ep. before Bellamy did so suck on that.

Raven with the hydrazine on the bridge is also me in law school.

Jasper and Monty could have been an iconic couple if only this fandom (and this show) were not so dumb.

While I love this Oppenheimer exchange (Bellamy’s voice lol), it bugs me a little that, first, Clarke didn’t build that bomb, shoot it, come up with the idea, or involve herself in the plan at all so cool your jets sick lady you’re not destroying any worlds, and second, it’s not Oppenheimer, it’s Oppenheimer quoting the Bhagavad Gita and I don’t know why that’s so important to me to remember but it really really is. Bugs me every time.

The Mountain Men reference. I guess they saw the mushroom cloud and learn of the delinquents through it...but they already shot down the Exodus Ship. How’d they know about that but not the Dropship? And why didn’t they notice the flares? Why is Lincoln so sure that the cloud will do it?

Lincoln’s got some books in there.

Raven’s comparison of Finn rushing to help Clarke versus hesitating about the bomb isn’t really fair tbqh. I mean it doesn’t matter because their relationship is obviously a farce and she needs to cut him loose, and if that’s what it took, that’s fine. But catching someone who’s falling is an instinct and I don’t think it necessarily has much to do with love or devotion. Whereas Bellamy’s question was about the future and there was no immediate someone-will-crack-their-head-open-on-the-ground-in-a-second danger about it. It wasn’t really an instinctual moment in the same way. Still, drop that dead weight my closet lesbian.

“It’s hard running things” is obviously a call back “It’s not easy being in charge.”

WHY AM I STILL AWAKE IT’S SO LATE.