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venusdian · 2 months ago

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The Black Aesthetic - 005.

Previous | Chapter 4

"Being Black isn't an Aesthetic, It's culture."

(This is a mixture of 1st & 3rd POV) - 2.7K Words

Marí

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Friday Morning

I was awakened by the sound of somebody not understanding a bitch is fucking asleep. I snatched my phone off the nightstand and saw it was Tailah calling me. I begrudgingly answered the call.

“What.”

“Well, good morning to you, Marí.”

“Oh, fuck off. What do you want?”

“OOO Language.”

“Tailah, don’t piss me off.”

“I need you to go to Genesis’ school and place a bereavement leave for her.” I slowly sat up on the bed and gasped.

“Ms. Donna ain’t make it?” She lets out a sad sigh.

“She died last night. We’ll probably be in Knoxville for the next couple of days to handle the funeral arrangements and things like that.” Damn, I felt horrible for Devin. He just lost his dad and now his mom. I can’t bear to imagine the pain that he’s going through. It didn’t hurt as much as when my mom died, but if our dad died?

I think I would be in shambles. I love our dad a lot. Even though I found out he was my dad later in life, even when he didn’t know I was his daughter, he always treated me as his own. I feel awful for Devin.

“Yeah, but uhh, I was able to get some documents confirming her death. I already called the school. You just gotta go up there and drop off the paperwork that I’m faxing you right now. Her teacher should have packets for her to complete her assignment while we’re in Knoxville.” I nodded.

“Ok, that’s fine. Hold up! Why ain’t you ask your parents to do that shit?”

“Well, My mom has some things to do at the youth center and dad is busy with the church. Which reminds me, Dad said to call him tonight, he misses you.” I groaned.

“I’ll think about it. I love him, but he talks too damn much and then gets mad when I have nothing to say.” Tailah is just going to laugh. I’m glad she finds it funny because I don’t. That shit is annoying. I be ready to go to bed then, BOOM! Here he comes calling my phone telling me about some damn fishing trip.

“Look, just call him.” I groaned.

“Aight, Tee. I’ma call you when I have everything done.”

“Ok, cool. We’re staying at his parent’s place.” I gasped.

“You want me to drop the shit off too?!” I exclaimed. Tailah kisses her teeth.

“See you soon, Marí.” Before I could argue, she hung up the phone. Again, That dusty bitch owes me.

omniscient

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Alexandra Crane busts open Noah’s office door. Noah looks up and is stunned to see Alex at his office.

“When in the fuck were you going to tell me you cut my studio session for some Instagram thot?” Alex angrily asks Noah. Noah sighs, realizing he had forgotten to tell her that news so her anger is reasonable.

“I’m sorry, Alex—” Alex interrupts him, putting her hand up.

“You know how much this comeback album means to me. For nine months I’ve been writing and perfecting my craft for a perfect comeback. I can’t afford to lose any studio time. It’s already bad enough I have to come to Memphis to record music, taking time away from my daughter—” Noah sighs.

“I understand—”

“DO YOU?! It seems like this is too much for you, and if That’s the case, I can find somebody else.” Noah gets up and shakes his head.

“No, look. I can book another session with Max on Saturday, too. You’re here till Sunday, and we’ll use this time wisely.”

“But, you didn’t answer my question. Why is she also booked for today.” He sighs.

“Because I’ve been neglecting all my clients to focus on you.”

“Well, that sounds like a personal problem. You know, I didn’t have these issues with Marí.” Noah takes a deep breath. He was growing tired of the comparison. Noah was trying his best. He already had his clients, but now he had double the workload, trying to make Marí’s clients happy, too. He just wished they understood.

“Look, Alex, these past few weeks, I’ve been dealing with getting sample clearance because you want to sample the whole damn music catalog. I’ve been calling venues and working with your label trying to perfect your rollout. So, spare me the bullshit right now. I have other clients, not just you. I’ll make sure we have studio sessions until the time you leave. But what I have is set in stone, ok?” Alex stares at him, stunned by his tone and language.

She understood where he was coming from, but it was still the principal. He didn’t even ask if she wanted to cut her studio time. She huffs and storms out of his office. Noah sighs, looking down with his arms crossed. He doesn’t want to admit this was overwhelming for him. But, he was losing sleep trying to please everyone. Maybe, it was time to throw in the towel.

Marí

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I walk into the main office with the paperwork in my hand. I’m tired. That’s all I got. I’m tired and Tailah better be lucky that I love her.

“Aye, they know I’m supposed to be here.” The secretary looks up at me, confused.

“But, I don’t. Name?” She asked with a slight attitude. I glared at her but decided to take the easy route, taking a deep breath.

“Marí Dunlock. I’m Genesis Glenn’s Godmother. She’s supposed to be on Bereavement, and y’all need documents or whatever.” I explained. She begins typing on her computer, not looking up at me. I huffed as I folded my arms.

“Is there a problem?” The secretary asked me. I lick my lips. She really testing my gangsta right now.

“No. But it will be if you don’t fix your attitude.” I threatened.

“If that’s a threat I will have to call security.” She smugly says. Right on cue, Ava comes out of her office. I looked up at her.

“Ava getcho girl before you have to call an ambulance.”

“On who?”

“You.” Ava got in between us.

“Aye, calm down. As much as I would love to watch a fight unfold. I can’t afford to get in trouble and be broke. Shante, I’ll take over.” I mugged her as she mugged me back, I wanted to hop over and beat that hoe ass, but Ava was pulling me into her office. I go into her office, and she closes the door behind us.

“How she died?” Ava’s nosey ass asks me. I looked at her in disbelief.

“You just have no decorum at all, huh?” Ava looks at me, waiting for an answer. I let out a sigh.

“She died due to a heart attack.” Ava clutches her chest.

“My god! That’s horrible.” I shake my head, handing her the paperwork. She takes the paperwork and begins to read it.

“So, you want my man back.” Ava rambles off.

“Nigga, what?”

“You want Gregory back.” I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“What is with this fucking town about me and Greg!” I angrily exclaimed. It’s like this stupid ass town wants us to get back together. Which is fucking weird like don’t they have their own lives or something?! Ava laughs, amused by my irritation.

“Look, Your niece tried to pay Janine to break up with Greg so y’all can get back together.” My eyes widen, and my jaw drops.

“You’re fucking lying.” Ava shakes her head.

“Yeah, she offered her twenty bucks.”

“Oh… I gotta talk to Janine. I don’t want her to think—” Ava smiles, getting up with her messy ass.

“I’ll gladly take you to her room.” I sighed.

“Fine,” I grumbled. We left Ava’s office and headed to Janine’s classroom. I know Gigi had good intentions, but Greg and I are over and will never be together. He’s happy with Janine, and I’m at peace about being alone. Once we arrived at Janine’s classroom, Ava entered the classroom, calling Janine to come outside. Janine looked at her worriedly but came outside, stunned to see me.

“Janine, hey! Look, I want to apologize for Gigi. She’s just—” Janine smiles, shaking her head.

“No, it’s fine, really.” I sympathetically looked at her.

“No, it’s not. I know you and Greg are together and happy. I don’t want to interfere with that.” I reassured her. She nods.

“Look, Marí it’s fine. Honestly, Genesis is a great girl and I know she has a big heart. I wasn’t offended by it.”

“Ok.” Janine and I awkwardly looked at each other. Then she excused herself back to her classroom.

“BOOOO! TOMATOES! TOMATOES!” Ava announced. I rolled my eyes and walked away.

“Where are you going?” She called out.

“I’m going to get Genesis’ schoolwork.” I walked to Gregory’s classroom, knocking on the door.

“It’s open.” He called out. I entered the classroom, and it was empty.

“Hey, Greg.” I nervously called out. He looks back at me and smiles.

“Oh, hey, Marí. I assume you’re here for Genesis’ school work.” I nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Well, come in. It’s on my desk.” I hummed, nodding. I walked over and sat down, collecting everything.

“Greg, I’m so sorry that Gigi asked Janine to break up with you.” Gregory nonchalantly hums.

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. You’re happy and moved on… I don’t want my return to interfere with that.” He looks up at me.

“Your return has actually made me happy.” He admits. I look away. He gets up and walks over to me. He grabs my face, making me look at him.

“Greg, look. What we had is in the past.”

“It is. But?” I shake my head.

“No, we can’t do this.”

“We can’t do what? Talk about our feelings?”

“What about Janine?”

“Marí, tell me, do you still love me?” I looked up at him, stammering.

“w-why are you acting like this?” I finally got out. Greg shrugged.

“I don’t know. I want to suppress it, I really do, but it’s like when I’m around you. I forget all common sense and just want the old thing back.” I pulled away, taking the packet out of his hand.

“Greg, you could’ve stopped me seven years ago but chose not to.”

“If you wanted me to stop you, why did you leave then?” I let out a flustered groan, turning around and looking at him.

“I was scared, Greg!” I exclaimed, then quickly covered my mouth.

“Scared of what?” He further prods. I looked up at him and sighed.

“I was scared of the future. You knew all the answers and I didn’t. I was scared coming back to Anslem because there were things that I didn’t want to confront. When we decided to leave, I didn’t want to come back, and, honestly, I still don’t want to be here. But I am, and I don’t know what’s next.” I confessed, my eyes watering because this stupid ass nigga got me vulnerable again.

Greg places his thumb on my cheek, wiping the tears off.

“Then you should’ve said something, Marí. I would’ve been by your side. I love you.” Greg pauses and takes a step back as I look at him.

“Shit.” He says, realizing what’s going on.

“I should leave,” I muttered. I walk towards the door when he calls my name. I turn around.

“yes?”

“Do you love me too?” I take a deep breath, letting out a heavy sigh.

“I never stopped.” I turned around, leaving the classroom. I could see Greg’s students were on their way back from wherever they were and kept my head down. I did not want anyone else to see me cry. I hurried out of the school and into my car. Once I got in the car I placed my head on the steering wheel, letting out a scream because, WHY?! Why me?! Why Greg?!

Out of all the exes I could be hung up on, it has to be a man who’s in a happily committed relationship. I don’t want to be the downfall of their relationship. Karma is a bitch and I already have enough trauma in my life. I don’t need this shit. My phone rings, stopping me from crying. I look over and see it’s Alex calling me. I sniffled, wiping my tears, and picked up the call.

“Hello?”

“I want a new manager or have you back as my manager.” I groaned, starting my car.

“What’s wrong?”

“He cut my studio time in half for some Instagram hoe.” I rolled my eyes.

“Her name is Courtney, and why do you care so much?”

“Because this is my debut album.” I groaned, pulling out of my parking spot and speeding down the street.

“Alex, You sharing a studio session is not the end of the world. I promise we’ll still have your rollout ready. You just need to make sure Gravity is ready, too.” Alex kisses her teeth.

“They will be. Why you hatin’ on yo aunt.” I rolled my eyes.

“I ain’t. Look, I’m just being realistic. Star’s Sophomore album is in the works, and Noah’s comeback album is highly anticipated. Let’s not forget the Empire merger.” I remind her, pulling up to a red light. I could tell, she did not want to hear that, but it was the truth. That’s why I don’t want Courtney to sigh to Gravity. She would just fall to the waste side while they’re trying to keep their current artists happy.

It just isn’t a good idea, and besides, she needs to build a following for her music before she can even think about getting a label co-sign. Alex lets out a tired sigh.

“I—I know. It’s just when Carlotta suggested that I get managed by you, I was scared, but you quickly eased my nerves and kept the money flowing not just for me, but for Derek too. Have him speak at important Seminars. You made me feel secure about my future. Noah—”

“Noah is trying his best. It’s only been six months since I got the promotion. He’s doing his best. I wouldn’t give him my clients if I didn’t have faith in him. Now, give him a chance. You’re sounding like Star.” I could tell Alex scrunched her face because she and I both knew that wasn’t a compliment. Alex lets out a small chuckle as the light turns green.

“Alright, I’ll let him slide this time. But, Marí?” I hummed.

“Have you talked to Carlotta? I know the last time you saw her was at your mother’s funeral.” I sighed. Carlotta has reached out to me after my mother’s passing but I’ve been ducking those calls. Our last conversation was just— Very emotional and I need my space. As you can see, I don’t do well with emotional conversations. It’s not my strong suit, it never has. So, I have Three Aunts and two uncles on my mother’s side. Out of All of them, Carlotta is the only one who could make me emotionally express how I feel about my mother’s death and that was an intense conversation that I would like to keep between me, her, and God.

I just— it’s a lot.

“By your silence, I’m going to say no. Well, you should call her.” I sighed.

“I’ll get around to it. Look, I have a three-hour drive to Knoxville so I’ll call you when I’m free.” Alex hums.

“Aight, Love you Marí.”

“Love you too.” I hang up the call. I toss my phone into my passenger seat. It lights up. I look over and see it’s an Instagram message. I grabbed my phone and placed it on my lap. I was coming up to the next red light. Once, I pulled up and looked down at my phone, tapping my phone screen. It was a new message. I opened the notification, and I saw the message my heart sank.

“When you’re ready, I’ll be right here.” Attached is a YouTube Video of 112’s Right Here for U.

When this song came out, He sang it to me all the time, in 6th grade. Whenever I was sad or scared. He could not sing, but the gesture was always nice. The last time he performed this song, We were in college and had that dusty apartment. I was sad because life was lifing, and he did a full-out performance for me.

He always knew how to make me happy. I tossed the phone back in the passenger seat. I looked up to see a green light. I sigh to myself. Although the message warmed my heart, I’ll never know when I’ll be ready for him, and I don’t want him to wait.

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