#Alex and Jasper

[redstainedsocks]

Leading the Blind

Contents: noncon body mod (sewn on blindfold), aftermath of whump, hurt/comfort, captives bonding (Jasper is trying at least), forced helplessness, blood and injury clean up

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“Let me,” Jasper says.

Alex doesn’t, he pulls his arm away, shudders. He doesn’t want to be touched, not when he can’t see where it’s coming from. Not after being held down and… and… mutilated. He can feel each tiny point where the stitching attaches the fabric to his face. His body still racks with shivers, muscles trembling as adrenaline and fear leave his muscles in a slow drip that makes him weaker with each passing second.

“I can do it,” he rasps. 

He sits up slowly, easing to the edge of the table, feeling his way forward with his fingertips. It’s easy enough to swing his legs round, dangling in the air for a brief second before his feet hit the floor. He hops down but fails to keep his footing as his knees buckle. Curses blend into one another as he spits them and he’s thankful for Jasper’s arms catching him before he collides with the floor.

“Carefully.”

“Yeah, I know.” He pulls free again and stands there gripping the table for reassurance. Everything feels upside down and back to front and his mind spins. He tilts his head this way and that but the end result of Adria’s experiment is flawless—he can’t see a thing. 

“We should get you washed up,” Jasper says, his words tinged with a lilt of an accent Alex doesn’t hear often. It only comes out when Jasper’s especially distressed. That should tell Alex something about how bad this is, but it just adds to the numbness that’s settling into his bones. “I’ll get some clean clothes.”

“Why?”

“Um, there’s—you have blood on these.”

“Oh.” Alex didn’t know that. Couldn’t see that. “Okay.”

And then he just stands there, motionless, helplessly blind in the middle of the room as Jasper walks away.

Fuck. Fuck. How is he meant to do anything like this?

You’re not. His mind supplies. You’re meant to learn to rely on them.

He has to let Jasper lead him to the bathroom, in the end. One hand hesitantly guiding his elbow. It saves him from bashing his hip on the counter or walking headfirst into a wall or doorway, and he should be grateful but he still rips his arm free once they get there. He turns on the taps at the sink after fumbling blindly for a few seconds and Jasper hands him a washcloth. He soaks it thoroughly by feel alone and then lifts it to his face.

And then hesitates. 

How can he clean up the mess of blood and tears on his face without seeing? How can he press on the fresh wounds when he knows how much it’ll hurt? He can’t, is the answer, but he tries anyway. Determined to prove he can do something, anything, for himself. He wipes around his lower face easily enough, and inches higher with each sweep until the cloth presses too close to something tender and he whimpers. So he tries his forehead next, angrily brushing his hair aside and forgetting to be careful and knocking into the fresh wounds as he wipes across his skin.

The washcloth drops into the sink with a slosh and smack and he groans, holding onto the sides of the basin until he fears cracking a nail.

Soft fingers touch the back of his hand. “Let me?” Jasper asks.

He nods shakily, because what other choice does he have? He steps back and removes his shirt, stopping short as Jasper grabs his shoulder.

“Mind the door,” Jasper says. Alex reaches back with his fingers and finds it has swung open and blocks the space just behind him.

It pushes shut easily enough, settling into place with a definitive click and he breathes a little easier knowing there’s a barrier between him and Adria. Just a thin one, just for a while. Even a barrier he can’t see is a blessing, giving him precious few more seconds, and a little notice, if she were to come barging in.

“I’ll be gentle,” Jasper promises. “Only do what’s necessary.”

And he is surprisingly tender with each pass over Alex’s face with the cloth, thorough too. It takes a long time, and Alex ends up sitting on the edge of the large bath as Jasper methodically wipes the blood and grime from his face. Each moment of increased pain is brief, minimised as much as Jasper can, but he still gets an apology each time he winces or groans. 

In the end, he does feel better, his skin feels clean and fresh—at least around the outside of the blindfold. Inside it, beneath where it’s sewn to his skin, is a different story. And he supposes that won’t be fixed until Adria decides he can have his sight back.

Jasper cleans off his neck too with one hand bracing Alex’s back so that he doesn’t waver and knows to expect more touching. They’re standing so close together they share the same breath. Alex hates that he finds it comforting to be looked after so well. It breaks down some barrier between him and his emotions and his throat tightens with unshed tears. He’s not sure it’s a good idea to start categorising the horrors done to him since his kidnapping but some small part of his mind tells him this is the worst yet, that it’s going to last and last, possibly indefinitely, and that because it’s designed to wear him down it will, it will work exactly as she plans.

He can’t cry, refuses to cry, when he can’t wipe away the tears. When all it will do is add to the mess trapped behind the fabric attached to his face. He sniffs and swipes a hand across the end of his nose. 

“I’m sorry,” Jasper says. And there's a break in his voice as he speaks that lets Alex know he means it. “I’ll do what I can…”

Alex sighs. The very same hands that helped to hold him down, that slipped him the sedative that let this happen in the first place, are now the ones trying to soothe him through the hurt. And he knows Jasper didn't have a choice, but it still leaves an awful schism in his mind, a disconnect between accepting help from someone who doled out hurt. But it doesn’t seem like he has a choice.

“How long, do you think?” he asks instead, voice croaky and raw after holding back screams.

There’s a very pregnant pause. Jasper shifts, and Alex listens to each tiny noise that lets him try and picture the scene. “I don’t know. If we’re good, maybe sooner?”

Alex scoffs.”I can’t be good, not like you. Not like this.”

He doesn’t get a response, Jasper just instructs him to lift his head and wipes away a few more streaks of blood that have dribbled down the sides of his throat.

By the time they’re done and Alex is in a crisp, clean t-shirt, he finds his strength has left him and slides to the floor to lean against the tub. He lets his head hang, draws his knees up and rests his arms atop them, and tries to find the energy to get back up. Before he can make it Jasper settles in beside him, pressed shoulder to shoulder. The warmth and solidity of someone beside him makes his heart ache, because he shouldn’t want it. Shouldn’t want this man, in this place… but he does, because it’s all he has. 

“I’ll figure it out,” he says, to himself more than anything. “I’ll count my steps, or, or get a cane or… I can do this.”

“I’ll help you,” Jasper says quietly.

“I don’t want your help,” he snaps and buries his hands in his hair at the way Jasper flinches so strongly that he feels the recoil. 

“We don’t have a choice,” Jasper whispers, voice a cutting, harsh thing. “Does this seem like we have a choice to you? The quicker you let me help, the quicker you settle and—”

“And what? Give in?”

“Pick your battles,” Jasper responds. “Learn where to fight and how. She isn’t messing around, this is extreme, even for her. Please, we just have to get through it and get it over with.”

Alex sighs, finds himself nodding. He doesn’t have the energy to argue, and anything that gets the damn stitches out of his fucking face quicker has to be a good thing. “I don’t mean to yell at you,” he mumbles, in way of an apology.

“I would understand if you wanted to.”

“I have all this anger, but I want to yell at her.”

“Don’t.” Alex can imagine the horror on Jasper’s face as he contemplates how badly it would go if he did. “I don’t want to see you hurt, not more than you have to be,” Jasper adds a few moments later.

“Yeah.”

Alex isn’t sure that’s in either of their control. Jasper lays a hesitant hand on his arm and Alex lets his head drop back until he can rest it on the side of the tub. They sit in silence for a long time, until Alex begins to sway, exhaustion catching up to him. He doesn’t fight as Jasper pulls him up, or as he’s guided to bed, and he only scowls a little as Adria makes a comment about how good he is to let Jasper touch him so much.

[soupdwelling]

WDYM GERRY IN TMAGP!!!!! WDYM HES ACTING OKAY AND HAPPY AND NORMAL!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!!!!!

[opossumking69]

Here's a small shitpost dump

[queenjulia11]

Super mild Candela ch. 4 spoilers!

I want to talk about Alex Ward as an actor because I feel like not enough people do and he’s seriously fucking incredible.

Obviously the dude’s great at playing monsters, that’s what he mainly does professionally and what he’s most known for outside of the TTRPG space, but I just love watching the way he plays regular people.

Alex does so much with so little. His expressions are very subtle and he tends to play people who are more soft-spoken (until they’re very much not), but you’re never left wondering what he’s thinking. Even when playing people who keep things close to the chest, he leaves his heart on the floor.

He’s an extremely intuitive performer with such a deep understanding and empathy for the people he plays. He almost never breaks character, even if the focus isn’t on him — I encourage everyone to keep an eye on him during the church scene in this most recent Candela episode — everything Edgar is going through is so inherently felt that there were times where I just couldn’t tear my eyes away. You know things about this man without him ever needing to speak them out loud.

That subtlety and focus only serves to make the moments where his characters are pushed to edge even more explosive than they would be otherwise; you really feel that he’s been holding back for hours and just can’t fucking take it anymore — but they still feel perfectly timed! (We saw this with Edgar but there’s a moment in season 4 of LA by Night that comes to mind as well).

It’s so incredible to watch someone so dropped-in like this. Alex has been one of my favorite role players in the community for years and I’m so happy he’s finally getting more of the recognition he deserves.

So if you’re enjoying him on Candela Obscura, watch LA and NY by Night! Watch his episode of 10 Candles: Eclipse! You’re in for a real treat. This is a man who is great at playing monsters, but this is also a man who is great at playing people.

[lesbian-of-nine]

dad the prog rock men you like are being babygirlified on tumblr

[saska-ithiur]

Is it time for a rewatch? Not sure my heart has recovered since last time yet 😅

LA by Night fanart, Jasper and Eva played by Alex Ward and Josephine McAdam

Creative liberties were taken, mostly because my memory is sh*t :3

I had the sketch for this one begging to be finished since 2022 so glad I finally did it

[hardcore-solangelo-19]

im really happy that rick still kept the blonde x black hair dynamic for percabeth in the tv show, cuz it seems like a dynamic he loves. Solangelo? Same Dynamic Jiper/Jasper? Same Dynamic Fierrochase? Same Dynamic Blitzstone? Salt(sadie x walt)? The same dam dynamic

Like, theres no way all these ships just happened to have the same type of thing yk. also this is a rlly cool and funny thing to do if they make will dark-haired, breaking the dynamic yk, i had a point with this, but i lost it, and im too lazy to delete all of this soo…

[bloodoftremere]

alex's characters + damn bitch, you live like this?

[twilight-gnome]

What did I just find????

So it’s a fun little show of Little shop of horrors, who’s twist is that the actors are drunk, simple obvious and fun. I love little shop and musical theater in general so of course I click on it.

the video has less than 10k views from a channel with less than 800 subscribers. But then I start recognizing people. First it was the guy playing crystal, I don’t watch a lot of smosh but I do recognize him, but I wasn’t completely sure so I looked at the cast list so I could look him up.

And then I realized just how many people I recognized

Grant Anthony O’Brien - Dropout

Daniel Thrasher - large YouTube channel

Rashawn Nadine Scott - Dimension 20

Alex Lewis - Lewberger(his band along with Keith habersberger(try guys) and Hughie stone fish)

Angela Giarrantana and as previously mentioned chanse McCary - Smosh

And looking up the other actors, they also had similar levels of notoriety!!

HOW HAVE I NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE? WHY ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE I KNOW OF IN IT?? HOW DOES IT HAVE SO FEW VIEWS???WHY IS IT ONE OF MY FAVORITE MUSICALS????

[ashpkat]

i succumbed to brain rot

[longfurbybitchboi]

I really really fucking loved Mentopolis and its cast, and its plot and everything. And I thought this is it, this is the best d20. But honestly same with Burrows End. Like the cast is great, Jasper William Cartwright?! I am so fangirling. And the stoats and their families??? Amazing. I just think d20 is getting better and better.

(I have sky high expectations for junior year)

[soupdwelling]

it would be so funny if protocol was genuinely just an office comedy and we spend five seasons paranoid out of our minds and literally nothing happens

[dropoutconfessions]

Dragging in some positivity!

I recently finished Burrows End and holy shit I love it so much!! I love the familial relation ships and just the whole cast for that one! The sets were so damn cool and I even got nightmares once I finished it /pos!!!!

Another amazing season in my opinion is Mentopolis! The cast is stellar, the comedy is wonderful, the characters are utterly delightful, and I absolutely love the setting. There's just so much fun and mystery there and it got me through some rough times during the recent Texas powergrid failure.

I'm just really happy with a lot of D20 season. I'm aware they have their issues but I'm just happy to like it.

:)

[levylevaroni]

*Sighs dreamily* I love them! 🖤

[crustacean-crush]

the dome is a very special place <3

(this was made by me in canva)

[hollowpursuits]

chapter 9