#Aka the music video that almost made me cry

[hajihiko]

also a Tunesday sketch, song; Kids by MGMT

[roseharpermaxwell]

RWRB FirstPrince Tech-Based Fun Recs

Texting, Online Dating, Instagram, Wrong Number, Social Media, etc. Click below for my favorites!

my husband by @coffeecatsme. T, 750 words. This isn’t the first time Alex roped Henry into a TikTok prank—there are videos of there with millions of views and enough compilations of Henry’s exasperated face that it’s become a meme.

Or, Alex ropes Henry into the latest TikTok couple prank.

Toe the Line by @orchidscript. G, 1k. Henry plays piano while Alex studies. Alex gets caught live-streaming. Henry has a response handy.

swipe right on me by coffeecatsme. T, 1.3k. Henry is scrolling through a profile—a redhead with freckles and a toothy grin that apparently made gym his personality. Alex almost wants to cry when Henry swipes right. Then, there’s the brunette he swipes left on, the Asian man with a dog he lingers before he swipes left as well, and then—

Alex drops his pen on the desk. That’s his profile.

you and i go from one kiss to getting married by vibrantsaturn. T, 1.3k.

Prince Henry @PrinceHenryUKI adore you so much, darling. Never change.

 

Alex Claremont-Diaz @theagcdthat's cute i would literally go to federal prison for you

who's afraid of little old me? (you should be) by @waterloolovers. G, 1.7k.

les 🤠 | fratboy acd truther @agcdiazzz

so has anybody actually seen henry since his abdication bc like… he was seen getting into a car with acd at the airport and it’s been 3 months

call it what you want by vibrantsaturn. T, 1.9k. Alex Claremont-Diaz @theagcd

guys it's 3am and i just found henry crying to taylor swift in the kitchen in the refrigerator light i love this motherfucker so much

Prince Henry @PrinceHenryUK

She makes me feel things.

Alex Claremont-Diaz @theagcd

BABY SHE MAKES ALL OF US FEEL THINGS

william @alltoounwell

THERE'S NO WAY HE JUST CALLED PRINCE HENRY MOTHERFUCKER LMAO

or,

Alex live tweeting his favourite FirstPrince moments. That's it. That's the fic.

all i do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme by dreakawa. M, 2.2k. Comments flood the screen as more and more viewers arrive in the chat. Alex knows he looks like hell, but quite honestly, he doesn't care; he's had half of a bottle of whiskey and needs to get his feelings out there somehow. Fuck it.

His fingers grip the bridge of his guitar as he continues.

“I've been listening to a lot of music, and especially a lot of The Killers. There were a few different songs I'd considered playing today but one stuck out to me and… well, here we go.”

AKA: Singer!Alex pours his (broken) heart out via song on a livestream one week after Henry ghosted him.

let's be friends (so we can make out) by eclvpsed. NR, 2.2k.

Henry Fox ✓ @HenryFox

Thanks for the cover feature @gaytimes. New issue out now.

19K Retweets 26.1K Quotes 118K Likes

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alex claremont-diaz ✓ @theacd

no guillotine could take away the head i need to give him

76.2K Retweets 55.6K Quotes 462K Likes

-

OR, actor!Alex Claremont-Diaz publicly thirst tweets about actor!Henry Fox because he is a delinquent and a plague in every universe.

Ever After Era by badmetaphors, gleefulfoxes. T, 2.3k. The Super Six watching the Ever After finale as told by their group chat and the aftermath on Twitter

watch before it ends by @indomitable-love. G, 2.4k. He should be working on this essay so he can spend more time with Henry this weekend. He really, really should be working on this essay. But.

But.

Henry is going live on Instagram.

Bold Statement by regularis_vas. T, 2.4k. Alex attends Milan Fashion Week with Nora and June. they arrive outside the Dior fashion show and let’s say… Alex turns heads.

Or

Alex goes shirtless, Ellen nearly has a stroke and the internet goes wild. (So does Henry)

A Thousand Words by Thunder_Cakes. G, 2.5k. After that Han/Leia mural both their accounts go silent for a while. For months, actually.

They’re both in therapy after Alex tried to post a selfie with June after election night and had a panic attack before he could hit “Share.” Suddenly the thought of sharing the details of his life and loved ones with the world is paralyzing. Wonder why.

or: Alex, Henry and what they choose to share of their life

Bacardi and Hot Sauce by httpstobes. T, 2.5k. Henry’s words are slurred, and Pez hits the ‘Add to Story’ button without a second thought before tossing his phone aside. The song Murder on the Dancefloor comes on, and both of them jump up to scream the lyrics.

That’s the last Percy remembers of that evening; Henry had blacked out a long time before that. Fuckin’ lightweight.

OR: Pez accidentally posts a video of Henry thirsting over Alex. They go on Hot Ones together the day afterwards.

spread (me on your) sheets by @everwitch-magiks. E, 2.6k. Alex creates a sex quiz to determine how well people’s bedroom preferences align with his own. After a night of too much tequila, he sends it to a lot of people.

One blond, blue-eyed respondent scores a hundred. - Also, companion fic Alex Claremont-Diaz’s Comprehensive Coitus Questionnaire by stutteringpeach (M, 2.6k). 

come pick me up by @smc-27. T, 3k. ‘I’m here for you’

He can tell that the person will receive that as a text message as well as in the app, which is a relief because sometimes people like, order rides then absolutely pay no fucking attention to the app. It’s really annoying to have to wait forever for folks.

’Thank you. I’m going through a difficult time currently, so this means a lot.’

Alex stares at the message he received, frowning, and then another comes through.

‘Apologies. I’ve lost all my contacts. Who is this?’

Oh, Christ. This is going to be awkward as fuck.

’This is your Uber driver. I’m outside.’

OR, Alex is an Uber driver. Henry needs a ride the airport.

freddie by @coffeecatsme. T, 3.3k. “Didn’t know BuzzFeed was still relevant enough to do interviews.” He watches a grin spread on Henry’s face, and the glint in his eyes is enough to tell Alex that whatever it is, it’ll at least be fun. “What?” he asks, tugging Henry’s hands. “What is it?”

“They just might be relevant enough for this.” Henry’s palms close around Alex’s cheeks, brushing his curls away. “They asked whether we’d be interested in doing a puppy interview.”

Something To Be Proud Of by @cha-melodius. M, 3.3k. Henry stares at the carbon copy of the email in his inbox and wills time to go backwards. Just a few minutes, that’s all he needs. Enough time to go back and keep autocorrect from transforming whatever he’d typed after ‘he’ in his pronouns after his name into… that.

(Or, an unfortunate typo in an email, lots of dick jokes, and the joy of finding yourself at Pride.)

how would you feel if i told you i loved you? by @waterloolovers. NR, 3.3k. He lasts all of five minutes before he’s opening the link to start a message to Alex.

‘I have been in love with you since the moment I first saw you, but I’m too scared to tell you x’

twitter fox hunting by alyaasca. T, 3.5k. In the middle of another war with twitter bots, Alex notices that the comment 'my pussy in bio' comes from a weird account and goes to explore. There is, indeed, a pussy in bio. A furry one. A cat named Snowflake.

well we're not here to fuck ducks by @dumbpeachjuice. M, 3.7k. Henry is looking for someone to help him with his duck study. He makes quite a serious typo in his 'All Staff' email.

Text Me, Rate Me, If You Want to Date Me by @happinessofthepursuit. E, 3.8k. “He gets over his initial nerves about making conversation fairly quickly, realizing that he has nothing to lose as long as he’s completely anonymous. But Alex still doesn’t really know how to reply to low-effort photos of dicks.

One day, he opens a message to a particularly poorly lit photo of a half-hard cock with minimal grooming. Before he can think twice, Alex replies, ‘2/10, no thank u’ and suddenly, he has his answer.”

Or, Alex rates dicks on Grindr, and Henry has the perfect cock.

kiss me through the phone by @violetbaudelaire-quagmire. M, 3.9k.

[Unknown Number] *Attached image: a shirtless, tanned torso, cropped at the top of shoulders, holding up two brightly patterned ties* which 1?

Excuse me?

or, Alex accidentally texts the wrong number and then just never stops.

self-rec of my contribution to the fandom: Shoot Your Shot. M, 4.2k. Jimmy raises his eyebrows in anticipation. “First celebrity crush?”

As usual, Alex’s mouth is moving before his mind can catch up.

“Oh,” he gestures, like this is both obvious and the easiest question he’s ever been asked. “Prince Henry.”

checkmate by eclvpsed. G, 4.2k.

Alex Claremont-Diaz ✓ @theagcd

let’s be honest the closet was made of glass

110K Retweets 97.7K Quotes 475.2K Likes

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Alex Claremont-Diaz ✓ @theagcd

i literally went viral last year for staring at arthur fox on the met gala carpet and yall thought i wouldn’t want to climb his son like a tree too

281.2K Retweets 137K Quotes 853.4K Likes

OR, actor!Alex confesses that singer!Henry was his bi awakening, so Henry casts him as the love interest in his new music video. Seen through stantwt.

i would stay forever by vibrantsaturn. T, 4.5k.

Henry Fox @HenryFox

I can’t stand him

[alex covered in cake, flipping off the camera]

 

Pez  @likethesweets

send help they’re flirting on the tl

 

Alex Claremont-Diaz @theagcd 

you know i love a london boy

Three times is a pattern by @clottedcreamfudge. T, 4.8k. “Hi,” an amused voice says on the other end of the line. “You’re through to Alex at L&G. Can I start by taking your name please?”

“Henry,” he admits, although the lure of a false name is calling to him like a siren song. “I’m – look, how long were you on the line just now?”

There’s a pause before the man answers. “I’m legally obligated to advise you that these calls are recorded for training and monitoring purposes. Is that enough of an answer?”

Henry just about manages not to swear. “Thank you. Unfortunately that is very clear.”

“Great. How can I help you today, Henry?”

He wonders if they offer euthanasia.

One Number Away by smc_27. T, 4.9k. “Hello?” a confused sounding voice on the other end of the line says.

It is not Pez. Pez doesn’t answer like that. With the fanfare of “my dearest Hazza” or “my sweet prince” or “you absolutely unforgivable scoundrel.” Only the first of these has any root in truth or accuracy.

Also, Pez is not American.

“I’m sorry. You’re not…Not Pez. Right. I’m sorry.”

OR: Henry dials a wrong number. Alex answers.

fall back into place by @vibrantsaturn. T, 5.1k. The hardest thing about being in love with Henry, Alex thinks, is keeping it a secret.

or,

People have been shipping Alex, a recording breaking musician, and Henry, a five time Academy Award winner, for years, despite them never interacting in public, or even following each other on social media. They've been secretly married all this time.

if evil, why so cute? by everwitch. E, 5.4k. Alex’s cat hates Alex, but loves Henry, the Bookstagram influencer who’s on vacation in Alex’s quiet seaside town. And while Alex is pretty salty about his grumpy cat’s inexplicable affection for a complete stranger, he must admit he can see the appeal; Henry is fucking gorgeous. It’s why Alex follows him on Instagram in the first place. It's just, Alex had never thought he’d be officially introduced to Henry by his own goddamn cat.

Or: Henry takes a two-week vacation to a seaside cabin with the intent to read a lot of books. Instead, he has a lot of sex.

Are You Screwing With Me? by @rmd-writes. E, 6.5k. Alex is only downloading Grindr because he’s curious. It doesn’t fucking mean anything, right? And when he answers a call for help from a very hot neighbour – who has no business having a shoulder-to-waist ratio like that – he’s just being friendly. It definitely doesn’t mean that he’s going to discover things about himself that he’d assumed were just passing curiosity.

Or, the Grindr meet-cute AU

I hope you don't mind that I put it down in words by knowledgeiscake. T, 7.2k. NBC News @nbcnews

Journalist Alleges First Son Alexander Claremont-Diaz Cheated with Him on Vice President’s Granddaughter Nora Holleran

An epistolary fic blending the book and movie verses where ACD gets outed by Miguel before Philip and Martha's wedding even happens

and you can tell everybody by @14carrotghoul. M, 7.7k. Rising star Alex Claremont-Diaz slowly reveals his secrets to the masses.

Give You The World by quill_and_ink. E, 7.9k. Alex loves to tease Henry in his TikTok videos. For his birthday, Henry turns the tables.

(Door)Dash to the Heart by bleedingballroomfloor. M, 8.1k. The man looks up when Henry opens the door. "Henry?"

Henry clears his throat. "That's me," he manages.

"Cool," the man says. "You're making me hungry for breakfast with this order, man. Which is bad for me, because my breakfast is usually just coffee, and there's no way I can drink that this late."

"Uh," Henry says. He's pretty sure dashers don't talk this much during orders.

"Anyway," the man says, handing the bag of food to Henry, "enjoy your night."

Five times Henry gets late-night food from his insanely hot DoorDasher Alex, and one time they get food together at a normal time.

Bake It Til You Make It by OrchidScript. T, 8.4k. The chaos dead-ended in a linked TikTok video. By the looks of it, just a pasty-faced white dude in a tee shirt with a mug of… something. Why that would be interesting to anyone, Alex didn’t know and didn’t guess. He rolled his eyes and clicked on it anyway.

“Are you serious?” He asked, a second later dissolving into laughter. The video froze, a small banner appearing over a stagnant image reading 'Man Pleasing Appetizers 1971'.

Blondie was a Brit, and Alex wasn’t going to lay there and say that didn’t do something for him. He’d come to terms with his bisexuality enough to know that made the stranger hotter — even just the littlest bit. Especially when the video started rolling again

Alex falls down the rabbit hole of an H.J. Fox's Tiktok videos, falling a little bit in love with the terrors and treasures of cooking past he finds there, while recovering from a sinus infection. Back in class and confronted by H.J. Fox -- Henry Fox, to be exact -- in the lecture seat next to him, Alex does what any normal, well-adjusted adult would do: He suggests his recipes, just to watch Henry make them.

Will Alex get to watch his cake and eat it too, or will he get something sweeter than hoped for? 

Amazed at How We Talk (Once, Successfully) by @sparklepocalypse. E, 8.7k. And, well. Fuck that guy. Alex isn’t about to rub elbows with people who can’t even stand to be in the same room as him.

Alex isn’t sulking when he sidles up to the bar and steals a man’s whisky. He also isn’t sulking when he obtains a second glass, this one neat. Or when he snags a large plate of canapés from one of the waitstaff and nonchalantly strolls out of the room.

(Movieverse; a riff on the trope that asks, What if Cakegate didn't happen?)

do you think i've forgotten about you? by @vibrantsaturn. T, 9.3k. Henry and Alex are singer-songwriters who've been dating each other on-and-off for ten years, and talking to each other through lyrics while dating other people.

The importance of the 'recall email' feature by clottedcreamfudge. E, 9.6k. "What did that email even say?" Bea interrupts him again, and he glares at her.

"He was asking for an extension."

"Scandalous," she says drily, and he rolls his eyes, stealing the umbrella from her mocktail and wondering whether or not he could use it to end his misery.

"He... addressed me in a fairly comical way. It was quite rude, but apparently unintentional. We've all been there."

Pez nods solemnly. "I once called my tutor 'Carrie' when in fact her name was 'Carey'. Incredibly embarrassing. I couldn't look her in the eye for a week."

"Er, yes," Henry says haltingly. "Yes, just like that." 

Well It Ain't Missionary by @everwitch-magiks. E, 11k. Alex Claremont-Diaz, a ballet dancer, is asked to list his ‘favorite positions.’ His hilariously suggestive answer goes viral, as does the unexpectedly flustered reaction to it by the Internet’s very own FoxySexEd. So obviously, Alex has to slide into Henry’s DMs. How could he resist? When a man that attractive wants your dick, only a fool would pass.

Henry is surprising. He wants to be pushed around, thrown for a loop, and he wants Alex to do it for him. But whenever Alex tries to soften his landing, Henry clams up like he’s been burned.

Alex can work around that, obviously. He's a dancer. If you're gonna toe the line just right, pointe shoes are a must.

Or: Alex and Henry fuck. Not in missionary.

whenever you're ready by @tedddylupin. E, 12k. “Pez. Please, will you stop tagging me in TikTok thirst traps?” Henry asked as he stepped into his friend’s car.

Pez lowered his Gucci sunglasses on his nose, looking at Henry without anything obscuring his vision and just laughed before pushing them back up with his middle finger. “Don’t fucking lie to me, I know you love them.”

Or: the one where Henry falls in lust with a TikToker making pottery and leaves drunken thirst comments

once, successfully by vibrantsaturn. M, 12k. Grindr, once (un)successfully, etc., etc.

misdial by rizcriz. T, 13k. His phone starts ringing as he’s wringing the coffee out of his shirt in the tiny coffee shop bathroom. He groans, sliding his finger over the answer button as he pulls his shirt up. “June,” he says, as politely and patiently as he can muster, “Now’s really not a great time.”

A distinctly male voice that does not belong to his sister, says, “Er.” He drops his chin and looks down at the counter, where a blond haired beauty is staring up at him from a facetime call. In the top corner, Alex can see what the man sees; himself, partially shirtless, standing over the phone, his abs dripping with coffee.

Alex has no idea who the fuck this man is.

Or, the facetime call that changed Alex's life.

Everyone Knows Who You Are by smc_27. T, 26k. Look, it’s not that he doesn’t feel influencers deserve representation or have complex management needs. It’s just any time he’s met with an influencer, he’s not only had next to nothing in common with them, but he’s also got no bloody clue what they’re talking about half the time. It’s a world far away from the one he typically resides in. He deals with authors and musicians and the occasional up and coming tennis player or gymnast or swimmer. His niche.

He walks into Conference Room B and sees Alex Claremont-Diaz sitting there in a smart black button down shirt, unbuttoned just enough to be devastating but not inappropriate. Henry’s boss is there, too.

When Alex sees Henry, he smiles, but also gives a discreet look up and down. Oh, god. No.

We’ll Invite Something In by smc_27. E, 26k. Alex is grinning a little too hard.

This is absolutely idiotic and pointless and fun.

The cover of Hello UK with a photo of him pulled out and a photo of His Royal Highness Prince Henry Fox-Mountchristen whatever the hell the rest of his names are (Alex knows; he being a dick) with the admittedly stupid but flattering headline which reads: His Royal Highness: He’s just like us and crushes on Pres ACD.

Ignite My Heart by @absoluteaudacitywrites. M, 30k. “So, I’m making you an account and we’re going to swipe right on some men and you can thank me later,” Pez says.

The 'We met on Tinder' AU

RWRB YouTube Interviews series by @happiness-of-the-pursuit. M, 31k. Hot Ones, etc

Hashtag Soulmates by everwitch. E, 44k. Alex is perfect and handsome, the golden boy, everybody’s secret crush. So there is absolutely no way that he is the reader who screeches in caps lock every time that Henry posts as much as a drabble. There’s no way. Except Alex just closed his browser fast as fucking lightning, but not before Henry had gotten a good glimpse of the page Alex had open: AO3. ‘Don't Stop Me Now’, Henry’s current wip. The one that Henry literally just updated.

Sweet Jesus. Could it really be?

I only tag an author once per post, but I'm still figuring out firstprince author handles. If you see one I may not know or find a broken link, please give me a heads up!

Master List of RWRB FirstPrince Recs

Master List of Recommendations

[jrjeremy]

what if... Gorillaz at their most worst in which phase album-wise ((from what Ive thought about!!!))

Murdoc – Wish You Wear Ear (Song Machine, Season One: Strange Timez), originally I was gonna go for Plastic Beach but that album was already the point of where the band was at their lowest.. it's a tad tricky but Song Machine had Murdoc acting up unusual from his character, youve seen that man crawl up into a ball and cry which was from the assumption of him thinking the band left him for good, to him going absurd over portals in Kong...

If all honestly Song Machine was him being at his most strangest timez (get it..? strange... timez, heehe), I would've said for him he was at the absolute worst during his childhood if only it was composed into an album, wouldn't really want that though.. Broken was already sad enough to hear coming from him :c

Noodle – Escape To Plastic Beach (Plastic Beach), phase 3 was definitely something huge for Gorillaz that I would've just about put Plastic Beach for almost everyone in the band, for the most part though, Noodle had definitely went through a tad too much during Plastic Beach... know that Noodle is pretty as chaotic as Murdoc is but in a good way unlike Murdoc

Though in Plastic Beach.. see the lore behind the whole phase is already huge enough, but as for being separated and taken away from the people you were supposed to be with, accidentally releasing a demon that you then had to hunt down by yourself, only to then having to deal with a cyborg version of yourself that tried to attack someone close that you know aka. the exact person who built that cyborg replica of you....

Easily you can get a lot of things wrong in the lore of Plastic Beach, but there's no doubt that Noodle had a pretty big experience in Plastic Beach than the rest of the phases, if none other, a really huge impact on her too!!

2-Dee – No More Unicorns Anymore (The Now Now), alright this one is definitely obvious, never have I heard 2D sound this sad in an entire album, add on with the fact that The Now Now was entirely written by him is just heartbreaking :C

To summarise, you basically had Murdoc being thrown in jail for drugs far far away from the rest of the band, and so without Murdoc, you have the first track in The Now Now, which is Humility, upon from the music video a lot of people gotten the thought that 2D was happy because Murdoc was in jail... now see, that would've been the case, if ONLY the rest of the WHOLE album hadn't had the saddest songs you've ever gotten out of Gorillaz, andd cause of that, I've gotten the thought that Humility was 2D just having some time by himself free of charge with the rest without Murdoc because he had the thinking of "He'll be back soon" only to realise that later on it'll be a lot more longer than just soon, I have no evidence of this so it's only up to my assumption, but MIGHTY is the rest of the songs just... really real sad..

((three sections of out of topic talk about the songs in The Now Now below))

One of the songs I heard before listening to the whole album was Souk Eye, and that was the end track of the album according to the listing, I thought it was already the saddest song or at least the most heart inducing song ever made from Gorillaz, and you just never really expected these songs to come out of Gorillaz... so, that was for Souk Eye, UNTIL I for once heard the rest of the album

I HAD NEVER SEEN ANYBODY, EVER TALKED ABOUT, FIRE FLIES.

This was a song I REALLY REALLY least expected over the name of the song itself, and IT REALLY, REALLY MAKES MY HEART JUST..... FEEL WAY TOO MUCH, that's not even the only song, in fact the rest of the album has it's songs in this really... really heavy, heartfelt, heartbreaking impact, but bet on me that Fire Flies is ultimately the song that had gotten me feeling the most from the entire album, to the point it made Souk Eye look happier than a song named FIRE FLIES...

If all, Humility really felt like a break for the least expected only to be hit right in the face right after that, from how I perceive the album along with through it's lyrics, it showcases just how 2D has been feeling through for however long he had been all while Murdoc wasn't around, and these songs just show that 2D really wasn't doing well..

From the track listing, The Now Now seemed like it was... this will sound insane but representing the five stages of grief for 2D, youve already gotten denial from the start, onto the rest which in some was pretty hard to tell that you might have to feel it through the song in order to tell it's there, for such like you could probably tell there's bargaining in Kansas, then you have anger in Sorcererz which isn't necessarily supposed to be an outrage in order to know that it's anger, and then there's some songs that sort of feel more to the type of thinking back to the past like memories, those being like Idaho and Magic City... and boy did the depression stage really kick in, Fire Flies and One Percent just really touches your heart in the worst way possible, especially with the fact it's coming from our boy 2D it makes it even more worst.....

This is why I said Souk Eye sounded a lot more happier, as to it's like the very ending which leads to the last stage of grief, didn't really know what happened after The Now Now like right after Murdoc got back to the band, but Souk Eye does still touch your heart, except it's a lot more comforting than the previous two songs you've heard, no doubt it's still really sad though.. but it's also just really warming too, the songs in the album itself really just explains how this phase was the worst for 2D to had ever been

Russel – Celebrity Take Down (Gorillaz), this one's a really tough one, again could've said for Plastic Beach as all that happened to Russ was that he tried to off himself only to mutate into a huge godzilla size of himself, though in the first album.. well before the album itself, Russel wouldnt have gotten any chances to be in the band if only he wasn't kidnapped by Murdoc himself, just as bad as how 2D joined the band

Though that might not count, in the debut studio album Russel was first introduced with a ghostly friend possessing him which lasted until or before Demon Days came in, even when it didn't really seemed that bad while Dell was around taking over Russel's mind, it was definitely the most interesting version of Russel since other than the first album, you kind of have Russel not really taking in the worst in the other phases, really didn't really got anything from Russel out of Cracker Island since he was just hypnotised by a television static for the entire album

know that I haven't covered everything that was made or confirmed by Gorillaz!!! So far I'm only giving my thoughts based on the albums I've listened to, so I may not be too keen on the entire lore of Gorillaz, neither do I know much about the books too!! c:

[magical-bigbang-noona]

More toxic 💩 driving me crazy how stans will turn a blind eye to anything their idols do.

WTF is wrong with Kim Heechul? I mean, he's another one who I felt was problematic but again, even I shrugged some of it off. Now he's giving a not really much of an apology for his latest drunk screw up on a friend's video blog.

Yeah, he was drunk. That's not an excuse. The stuff he said against feminists and one certain group of women was ignorant and offensive, though not surprising from a privileged Korean male. Korea is not exactly the capitol of feminist tolerance. Still not an excuse.

He gave the standard "if what I said bothered you" &" I'm sorry you felt that way" victim blaming, non apology which is classic passive aggressive no responsibility taken, sorry not sorry, the problem is with you not me crap.

I stupidly looked at the comments and almost unanimously are the female stans saying he was just "telling it like it is" and has nothing to be sorry for. Wow. How these girls can just throw their own gender under the bus for a crush I will never comprehend and hope I never do.

Same with Kris Wu. Yes, sentencing in China is harsh, but you know, maybe he shouldn't have been RAPING GIRLS while he was a celebrity there. But we got girls crying over his prison sentence and how long it is and blah blah blah.

And once again, I'm pissed because while I wasn't into his music I did like his work as an actor. Yet again, warning niggles for years like I had with S* but yeah, I ignored them too. And that is on me. I'm not claiming I'm completely immune,I need to learn to not ignore red flags, but when I'm faced with proof that a celebrity I had a crush on or admired committed crimes against another human or willingly broke laws with full knowledge of what they were doing and are not really sorry for it other than getting caught then yea, I usually feel horrible and betrayed and then write them out of my life. Not slam the blinders down and go, nah, I like him so he couldn't have done that, end of story.

Take Deng Lun aka Allen Deng, another C-drama celeb I loved. Watched a bunch of his serials. Then he gets indicted in the Chinese crackdown of celebrity tax evasion. Like, in the millions of dollars, somewhere in the neighborhood of 16 million USD. He knew what he did, he deliberately hid his income, he said he did it because "everyone was doing it" (sound familiar?). To be honest a lot were and yes, it was quietly ignored for years til citizens made such a big protest about the differences in treatment that the authorities decided to make a show of coming down on celeb tax dodgers.

He was wildly popular and then literally lost all of his jobs and lucrative endorsements overnight. And fans were crying and metaphorically rending their shirts, saying they are with him and he didn't deserve to lose his status and poor him, we need to let him know he didn't do anything wrong, and meanwhile I'm just upset that someone I liked so much was involved in that.

Just because someone is a celebrity it doesn't mean they couldn't possibly commit crime. Or if they did they had to be a completely clueless, innocent babe in the woods and it's not their fault.

Take TOP. He was and is my bias. Do I think Korea's laws on certain prescription drugs and marijuana is unnecessarily strict? Yes. Doesn't matter.

Do I think he had reasons he turned to marijuana use? Yes. But he still knew how stringent the laws were, he used it, and got caught. And yeah, he lied too at first. Am I happy about that? No. But the situation was what it was.

Regardless of his mental state, and personally, if you think mental health care is bad in the States it's pretty much non existent in comparison in Korea, he was aware of the laws and as a citizen he has to adhere to the law, even if I, a fan in the States, thinks it's stupid and too harsh.

He screwed up. He was liable, he paid his penalty with lenience that yes, considering his life long mental health conditions is justifiable,and the fact that he was so sorry and upset he took an overdose and almost died was also a factor, he admitted his guilt, he was truly sorry for everything, he got the help he needed, and carried out the rest of his duties as quietly as the press would let him.

I never thought of him as a saint who did no wrong. That he deserved none of his penance and was a lily white angel just because I like the man a lot.

I mean, this is simplifying it all, and don't get me started on the almost repeat of the same situation with B.I. of iKon and how I thought and still think YG is a swirling cesspool that harbored a lot of shady crap and when the pins were down they threw their own artists under the bus to protect themselves. They made for a bad environment IMO and yes, I even hold the Co. and YG himself as a terrible influence on S* and feel it all had more than a hand in that whole mess. But in the end, S was a 30 yr old man, not a child, and he knew damn well what he was doing and what the people he was associating himself with were like.

As the saying goes, you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas. So the continuous infantilising of him and saying how he never could have possibly even put a toe out of line knowingly just because you can't deal with your crush not being a blameless ethereal being is just infuriating to me and always will be.

[theo-grayson]

2, 21, 23, 30!

Thank you so much for the ask aaah!! I am now going to go into far more detail than is necessary because I love to talk HAHA

2. three last songs you listened to

A: Miss Miseryguts (by R.I.P)

This song slaps so hard. I have been listening to it on repeat for like a week. The lyrics are so good and I have been imagining amvs with my oc to it (his name is Chamomile, he is a strawberry cow-boy, and this song is a little more toxic than he usually is, but I'm imagining that it's like an evil au or something LOL)

B: The soundtrack from Animation VS Minecraft: The King (by Scott Buckley)

Listen. Listen for just one second. Imagine theres an animated series. It's about this guy who draws some stick figures on his computer, and they come to life. Hijinks ensue, and they have all sorts of wacky adventures on his desktop, and eventually in Minecraft as well.

Look me in the eyes. This thing has lore. And character arcs. And morally grey characters with tragic backstories.

And it also has crazy good music (WITH LEITMOTIFS). The link above is the soundtrack for The King, aka the season 3 finale and an episode that literally made me cry actual tears. But I also reccomend listening to the Pigstep Remix (PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE LISTEN TO IT it's an absolute banger, it starts with the og minecraft music disc music, then transitions into this crazy good orchestral arrangement PLEASE listen I am BEGGING you), and watching the epsiodes Note Block Battle (silly nonsense, no lore or understanding of the series needed, but funky tunes) and Note Block Universe (the first half is silly nonsense with funky tunes, the second half features one of the aformentioned Morally Grey Characters and their tragic backstory. Lots of it won't make sense unless you know the series, but I can't talk about the AVM series or it's music without talking about it) (both Note Block episodes use music as a main plot point) (also, there is almost never any dialogue, which makes the music absolutely shine when conveying emotions, in addition to the animation [which is so expressive despite the characters literally not having faces. They can emote SO much with JUST body language]) (I am getting SO off track I'm sorry I just love AVM so much) (one day im going to write a 10,000 word rant about how good AVM is I swear)

C: HYACINTHUS (by Aidoneus)

Man, it's just so beautiful, and considering it's about the story of Apollo and Hyacinthus, I love it from a story AND religious viewpoint 🪻🌻

21. three songs of your childhood

Last of Me by CircusP, Echo (Nightcore) (by Jason Walker), and Pika Girl (Nightcore) (by S3RL) were PEAK music to my extremely depressed 12 year old self, I was DEEP into vocaloid/nightcore/etc and honestly I still am GRHWHAHE

23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up

A: BREADY STEADY GO (by OMOCAT)

The entire Omori OST is absolutely amazing, and has such a good range of different emotions, but the boss themes especially are SO good. This one is SUCH a banger AGHHH

B: Voices (by Derivakat)

One of my favourite Technoblade tributes. It is absolutely incredible. Also listen to the version by The Jukeblockers, it features lyrics in like 12 languages and it has a sick guitar solo bit

C: World's End Valentine (by OMOCAT)

It's another Omori one but I literally cannot help it. It's SO GOOD AAAGGHHHHHHHH

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)

A: Innocence (by Nathan Wagner) Holy fuck. One of the most beautiful and haunting songs I've ever heard in my whole life. If you only listen to one of these songs, make this one of them. Please. Also, it is VERY good for imagining amvs in your head.

B: Sealed Vessel (by Christopher Larkin) and OMORI + ALTER (by OMOCAT)

Technically this is 2 songs (technically 3 but OMORI and ALTER are like a part 1 and 2 of the same song), but they both fall into "video game final boss themes that make me want to cry", even though they are quite different. Sealed Vessel is more haunting and heart-sinkingly sad, especially near the end. OMORI + ALTER is sad, but more in a chest-tightening anxious way. If you know the stories of Hollow Knight and Omori, you know that the lore for both of them is heartbreaking, and these songs fit that perfectly.

C: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - Theme

God. This song just makes me feel so much. The main bit makes my heart race and gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it. I don't even know why, or how to describe it. And it means so much to me emotionally as well. BOTW was a huge part of my life, and it always will be. This game gave me escapism when I was going through a really traumatic part of my life, Link was a big part of figuring out my gender identity, and I would spend time with my mom by playing while she watched. It's so important to me, and this song makes me feel so many feelings. Man.

[lets-talk-spirituality]

https://at.tumblr.com/lets-talk-spirituality/httpsattumblrcomlets-talk-spiritualityso-clo/tqe3knisbait

Hellooooo!

Thank you for these music links! I needed some new music to listen to, and not binge green green grass anymore. I vibed with all them but damn Igwe Aka. 💃 I saw some other music below and I did not know Frank Ocean did a version of moon river. 

I’ll def check out that book, I do love learning / reading about music history. I have also been meaning to read The Lyrics by Paul McCartney. Have you read it? I heard its pretty good. 

But I wish had some new music share, but the last few weeks have been busy with work and today is the first quiet day in awhile. I need a vacation soon. 😭🐸

How have you been doing? How’s work? Any new projects? Also if you don’t mind me asking how’s everything going with your guy friend, I hope he’s treating you well and you’re having fun. 

Also have you been following the stuff happening in Astrology? I’m still learning astrology and spirituality. But I got an email from refinery29 line is about to change and the next few weeks are big.

I was reading March 7th was the virgo full moon and then Saturn enter Pisces on that same day as well. Something about Venus and Jupiter?

I’ll link the articles I was reading below if you or anybody are interested.

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/march-monthly-horoscopes-2023

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/weekly-horoscope-5-11-march

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/virgo-full-moon-march-2023

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2023/03/11310605/saturn-in-pisces-march-2023-meaning-effects

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/venus-jupiter-conjunction-march-2023-meaning-effects

And I’m watching these videos below but I had to take some breaks because it’s a lot of info. 

https://youtu.be/4n5nyuORF4M 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nz6FhbBn7V8

https://youtu.be/j9uW4zBckII <— I like her for journal prompts and meditations. 

Hello my love! So good to hear from you. I’m so glad you enjoyed the songs.

🎶🎼🎵 🎶🎼🎵 🎶🎼🎵 🎶🎼🎵 🎶🎼🎵

You saying green green grass made me think of this song.

Which gives me these vibes

I have not read that book about Paul McCartney but he’s def my favorite Beatle, also a vegetarian and Gemini.

I’ve been busy! I was out of town for work and a little pleasure too which was cool. I went to one of the other islands. That was fun! We also did a food distribution yesterday! Which was successful and a little draining but always good to help people.

So I actually had this dramatic drinking wine and crying thing yesterday. Listening to Godspeed. I think I like this guy or at least have feelings and I don’t think he really cares about me. It really hurts me deeply. But more than anything it’s just a continuing pattern of men not really caring about me. I know bla blah they aren’t the right one. I wish I could explain how often men have mistreated me. I’m beginning to truly believe that I will not find anything different. I’m not sure men are capable of being safe. I’m sad about this guy but it’s culminated in multiple men over the past few months just treating me in this very disposable way. I have this hangup around men not wanting to actually love or care about me and only liking the idea of me. It deeply hurts me. So that’s why we walked around the beach drinking our favorite wine out of the bottle and found ourselves crying our eyes out. Still so much grief. Idk I blame the Virgo moon (both my exes have Virgo moons fun enough) but also there is some stuff that’s happened to me that I think might hurt me forever. It’s just that cruel. It’s almost unfathomable. But enough of me going on about how men continue to be incapable of caring about me.

Yes! I could actually see Venus and Jupiter and the sky which was cool which would indicate expansion around love, while also the Saturn moving to Pisces thing happened. Which is about bringing karmic change around the unconscious, delusions and spirituality.

Here’s some songs I’ve been boppin

^^ reminds me of Bon Iver

^^ this mofo song has ear wormed back into my head from the recesses I never asked for but it’s been on my mind a lot lol.

^^also annoyingly in my mind

[sprinklesandshatters]

A Review on NCT 127′s 3rd Album <Sticker>

So NCT 127 just came back with their 3rd Full Album <Sticker> and this is my first 127 comeback since I became a fan last year! Neozone is such a special album for me as it was their first album that I explored entirely. I've known NCT as the group who never fails any expectations so I've kept mine up although I know they'll exceed it anyway. And guess what, they did! I absolutely love their new album hence this review~

This isn't a technical music review—as I am not a musician myself—but rather a listener's honest takes, goofy notes, and interpretation on each of the tracks in the album. I admit I've also struggled to build my own opinions on some of the tracks until I listened to them over and over again.

I have also heard there are mixed opinions on the title track <Sticker> and a lot says it's another acquired taste. But I think it's not just that, as it can be a grower, just like how most of NCT's songs were for me. Maybe after a few listens and a right passage of time, it will grow on those people. The bottom line here is, I like it a lot! 😛

So I listed down the songs according to their respective track numbers and followed each with a bulleted list of my opinions and interpretations.

(Viewer/reader discretion: before you continue, minors, do not interact as there are few 18+ contents under the cut. Thank you.)

1. Sticker

THEY DIDN'T JUST PUNCH A NEW NOTCH ON THE BELT LIKE THAT

THIS SONG SLAPS, LITERALLY SLAPS… AND WHIPS 

The recorder at the intro boyyyy I thought something was wrong but then I remember it’s NCT lmao

It already stuck in my head from my first listen from the Instagram audio.

With Taeyong opening the verse with his divine rapping, I knew I'm in for a new ride.

STICK-UH STICK-UGH STICK-UGHGHGH

To those complaining it sounding like noise music, imagine it sounding generic. I don't think it would fit as the title track. Not a b-track or in their repertoire, even. They are called NCT because they define the NEO in the music culture and music technology!

It honestly was an unorthodox, just like all of their title tracks, which I’m inherently here for.

Literally, no one does it like them!

The growls and the vocal flexes and adlibs! (You can tell it has Yoo Youngjin's brand.)

The crisp metronome sound that’s consistently ticking except for the pre-chorus and the dance break adds depth to the soundscape. I love how it’s used instead of the usual snaps.

The production quality blew my mind. Like how can someone think those melodies would sound so exquisite? CAN I CALL THEM GENIUS?

The piano at the back, oh my God—Yes! It adds this mystifying element to the song.

I'm not sure if it's a midi violin at the pre-chorus, but it added thrill to the song. It was a great transition from the bass line in the verses to the combination of the flawless harmony with the same instrumental.

"You treat me like a boy, like a grown-up child chasing a dream" JUNGWOO BABY NO MORE HUH

Taeil, Doyoung, and Haechan—the bridge vocal trinity!

But why the heck are they cowboys? I dig the concept, but why? LMAO

BTW GUNSLINGER MARK I’M ON MY KNEES YEEHAW

This is easily one of my favorite tracks from NCT 127's entire discography 💚

2. Lemonade

(⌐■_■)

Jaehyun starting off this song with his deep voice eee

The song opens to a verse oozing with chill confidence. They're like, yeah you're lurking because we’re cool.

This is such a huge slap to their haters. NCT's not chillin' like a villain, nah they're the main characters!

Well maybe they’re villains, but still ya not cooler than them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Funny enough how they could have just referred haters as simply lemons whose sour/bitter to the taste, but 127 squad's success is sweeter than all the haters' spiteful remarks so yeah, SIPPY SIPPY LEMONADE 🧃

"WOOF"

I might have just barked too wOW

Yuta’s vocals hooooO his voice just sounds so glamorous mhmm

Also Mark referencing their previous title tracks such as: Firetruck, Cherry Bomb, and Regular (it's Irregular in the lyrics) in his rap part 👌💅

I just love Mark's energy when he raps. HE RESOLUTELY BITES AND STRAIGHT UP EATS EVERY TIME HE DOES.

3. Breakfast

Now breakfast time, oh jeez!

AAAHAHFU—

Summer 127's bestie!

If Summer 127 talks about dancing all night long, Breakfast is the morning after.

You know what it is.

"Even if I gulp and drink you, it's not enough for me." oho Taeyong no you ha—STOP

Sexual innuendos aside, isn't it just sweet if someone tells you they'd want to have breakfast with you every day?  Okay maybe I'm melting at the thought 😩🙈💞

And I can see myself dancing to this song as I make breakfast (in the afternoon or at midnight bc I’m crazy)

This was an okay b-track for me at the first skim on the album, but boy it grew on me wildly.

Honestly one of my favorite tracks in this album.

4. Focus

Did I just invade a private call? LMAO

The analog voice filters make it like so.

Dude, this feels intimate in the level of eavesdropping a phone call between seasoned lovers. Then you realize you hear them whispering their kinks over the line and you're ooh, that's sexy! hfgklhfhf

My first listen to this, I almost went feral because,

"I can't wait to eat you…" when it's actually "I can't wait 'til we chill…" aahaha

"Baby call me when you want me." OKAY!

This sounds relaxing and chill. I'd love to play this on a late night drive or just before bed time along with Fly Away With Me, Sun & Moon, My Youth, and Long Flight.

Belongs to ‘make out session’ playlist  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

That was lowkey a playlist recommendation, huh?

I'd be kidding if I don't say I could touch myself while listening to this song AHAHAFGHFJFJ

I didn't know this would grow on me this much lol I love love LOVE THIS!

5. The Rainy Night

Ooh, the holy melancholy!

Piano at the intro—I knew I'd cry to this.

This song isn't just about break-up, but the heartbreak after one.

The yearning; the remnant pieces from the shattering of what was once there.

I think I crumbled from this one.

This hit so hard I felt like I fit in the shoes with the lyrics throughout the entire song.

What’s fascinating is I clearly forgot the title when I mentally said this sounds like a sad rainy day song from the first listen.

Something I’d turn up when it suddenly rains, just because I want to feel the blues.

Taeil and Haechan singing in lower register? I wanna cry :( they’re just one of the best vocalists in K-music industry right now.

Could have been also nice if they added Yuta to the vocals.

"My selfish heart who waits for you to come back," OKAY WHO HURT THEM?

And the fact that they sang it so good that it translated every ounce of the emotions well even before I looked up for English translations is the reason why I love this song too.

6. Far

Hmm… What the hell?! Do I like this? Wait...

Alright!

The jumpy vibe from the first verse to the pre-chorus set the mood for this song. It sounds merry and heavy. It was honestly too much to take until I’ve reached the chorus part.

Honestly, I think this song could fit NCT Dream better, as it gives off a vibe similar to Hello Future's b-tracks. If some credible source say this could have made HF’s track list, I might believe you too fast.

Also Dream’s Deja Vu where they go na nananananana na na na~

Playful yet confident! That’s what I mean!

As usual, the vocals are insane! Vocal flex from left to right!

I swear Jungwoo sounded a bit like Taemin at the second verse that I had to replay it hahaha

I love hearing Johnny as a vocalist! SM, how many signs do you need until you utilize his vocal talent???

Taeil's part where he sings, "go nuts, go nuts, 'til we go bust, go bust" IDEK BUT I SNORTED A LAUGH AT FIRST LISTEN HFCAHKFHK

Not my favorite, but still great though!

But wait it’s actually stuck in my head???

7. Bring The Noize

Yes, they never beat those noise music allegations

HERE'S SOME NOIZE, BITCHES

I love me some noisy percussions. AND THE BASS YO

This screams so much confidence!

The build up from the pre-chorus to the chorus—FIRE!

This song reminds me a lot of SuperM's Super Car, especially with the engine roar samples and the battle cry-like singing at the chorus.

JAEHYUN RAPPING? You mean Jaehyun the visual, the vocalist, the actor, the model, the funny dude, aka my everything?! (markie bb look pls look away for a moment)

THEY DELIVERED IT STRAIGHT FROM NEOCITY THAT'S SOME NCT MUSIC RIGHT THERE NO ONE DOES IT LIKE THEM

When I said I'd play Focus on a late night drive, and if I add this in the playlist, VROOM VROOM SPEED LIMIT WHAT

OUTTA MY WAY

“We got no shame” ouh TAEYONG’S FLOW IS JUST VERY HIM AND HE’S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN

You know what's so clever about this song? It's how it ended with Mark's final rap without any instrumental, leaving you  standing there with a doppler effect-like post experience.

A super car on a super speed just whooshed past you and you look its way as it zips through the road. It's gone in an instant but you're floored dumbfounded at a sidewalk. That's how I describe this song.

8. Magic Carpet Ride

This song… Wow. Oh gosh it's so beautiful.

Their harmony in the chorus—it makes me want to kiss someone so passionately that I'd cry.

This makes me want to feel love that transcends the universe. Literally, just please take me on a magic carpet ride :(

The background harmonies too oh my goodness—HEAVENLY.

Jaehyun's voice is so warm and soulful it fits perfectly with songs of this genre.

Okay alright Doyoung Grande!

And Taeil makes me feel like I'm listening to old school R&B.

The first time I heard this from the track video, I can't stop replaying because it's just that great.

This makes me want to love. I think that sums it up.

9. Road Trip

This is such a soothing song for me, especially how I easily become nostalgic thinking about the road trips I've had.

Whenever I listen to this, my brain immediately conjures up thoughts of my ideal getaways. Gazing at the sky through the car window, stirring up from a nap in the middle of the ride, and   eventually reaching your destination.

Oh, to travel around anywhere... (curse you covid-19)

Okay that's it. I'M PACKING UP.

But where do I go—

I could also imagine Mark playing this on the guitar and the other members sing along together, something like that.

Just Wholesome™ vibes.

I love how it evokes such a nice emotion within me effortlessly.

This isn't my favorite, but I still love this.

10. Dreamer

Eyyyy such a refreshing song!

This song is so bright it makes me want to dance. I play this first in the shower!

It reminds me so much of Elevator (from Neozone)

The horns make it more lively I think!

Yuta and Jungwoo's voice suits lively songs like this.

The background vocal in low register in Taeyong's part in the first verse is so good ahhfhf

Taeil, the R&B vocal king you are...

There's this part where Doyoung and Johnny harmonized, that at first listen they seemed to clash, but it sounded actually fine after a few listens. Maybe it's just that I've never heard them do it before.

And I think it's Doyoung's laugh at the end of the bridge? Oh my goodness I really love this too!

11. Promise You

MY FIRST LOVE AND MOST FAVORITE SONG IN THE ALBUM!!!

The first time I heard this from their NCIT Sharehouse Sitcom, I fell in love with the song already.

It sounds like something you'd feel from a warm, welcoming hug.

The lyrics are so beautiful and endearing. It's definitely a be-there-for-you type of song that will touch your heart.

It definitely sounds like a promise.

A song about platonic intimacy.

This really fits to be the closing song of the album. It's like the end of it but holds a promise that says “see you soon.”

Because they cherish their fans like that.

It's also like I've watched a movie with a happy ending, where the camera pans up to the clear sky and this song starts playing.

Speaking of ending, I would love to hear them sing this as an encore stage in their concert. You know, that moment just before the stage lights die down at the end of the concert where they send final blows of flying kisses to NCTzens. Then you come home smiling and crying.

This wasn't supposed to be this long since I originally planned to write this with just simple phrases and emojis but I got too engrossed lol. I also meant to include my own ratings but I figured it’s pointless since I can’t really decide about them hahaha

I really enjoyed the whole album and I love how they're progressively defining what NEO means by breaking through standards. It's not NCT music if it doesn't make you say "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" But then you realize it’s stuck in your head and you’re enjoying it already.

✨ OVERALL RATING: 127/10 💚

if you’ve reached until here, thank you for letting me share you a braincell or two 💞

[goldrockyroad]

now that the season is over here are chuang2021 moments i cannot believe are real, a list that only gets longer and in no particular order: 

- that entire bit of them choosing their dorm rooms, including but not limited to:

lin mo copping his double room only to lose it + his mental breakdown after that

almost 20 of them fighting to have hiroto stay in their room

nine and patrick's 'we break up' (only for patrick to move in after 1st round of eliminations) 

ak: ‘does rikimaru snore?’ santa: ‘yeah, very loudly’ ak: ‘oh NOOOO i’m scREWED’ 

- hanfu shop owner liu yu

- han meijuan training base: 

yu gengyin’s ‘i am a proud fishie swimming into your heart’ 

also yu gengyin: ‘i’m a little scared that the debut lineup will end up being 11 han meijuans’ 

zhang xinyao dropping it low. that’s it. 

han peiquan: ‘look at that santa, he can dance so well but can he do this? he can play the drums but ask him to come here, can he do it? no way’ 

the entire “just go where you want” performance including their intro + mentors comments + xie xingyang’s slogans

but even more so “just go where you want” 2.0 LIVE AT THE FINALS 

- the mentors dancing along to ‘vote for me xoxo’ during “just go where you want” 2.0 before carrying and promptly drOPPING zhou shen onto the floor before the rest of them pretend like nothing happened in time for the ending pose 

- “when i’m with you”, “unbreakable love”, “just go where you want” > the actual theme song all day every day 

- don't be shy @/tencent , give me all the clips of gan wangxing singing jing long's “lost you” (diu le ni) + more of the both of them dancing to crab dance backstage

- zhou shen, to shao mingming on the verge of having a meltdown over mean comments about him as practice for “i don’t care” stage: ‘do you want to hear the next comment?’ shao mingming, as the others start laughing: ‘plEASE NO’ zhou shen, reading the comment anyway: ‘he only knows how to cry’ cue maniac laughter from all of them 

- just hanjiang, really 

zhang xinyao, on “feng ding” stage: ‘it was so good. also i wanna add hanjiang you look like huluwa’

to wu yuheng after “i don’t care” team’s performance: ‘there’s only one word to describe you - handsome. first time i saw you i went, woah, handsome. saw you on stage performing - woah, handsome. seriously, handsome’ 

xue bayi, backstage: ‘i think he’s said that to me too’ 

when called up at 2nd eliminations: ‘what’s manga-like man?’ another trainee: ‘ means you look like you came out of a manga’ zhou zhennan: ‘yeah it’s like fei yang yang came out of the page into real life’ 

domineering ceo with all of them either screaming or looking mildly uncomfortable 

literally scREAMING to get people to join “zui kuen” team 

more importantly hanjiang’s dad imitating him scream to get people to join “zui kuen” team to a dAMN T 

- patrick: ‘hello everyone i am your ocean prince patrick!’ wu hai: ‘and i am the ocean’ [for non-chinese speaking fans of chuang, the hai 海 in wu hai means ocean] + the continuation of this on wu hai’s dorm diary

- “unbreakable love” 2.0 !!!! put it on spotify right now !!!!!

- da-geTM bo yuan 

fu sichao, on bo yuan getting 9th for 2nd eliminations: ‘that feeling when your own old man (laughs for a bit) when your old man gets a really good grade, it’s indescribable happiness’

amu: ‘bo yuan’s like my grandpa, and he might as well be’  

eisho’s ‘bo yuan gege’ 

hiroto getting other trainees to call him da-ge on dorm diary but having bo yuan as his da-ge 

or alternatively, yuan-shu [uncle yuan], as seen after using the term fanersai（凡尔赛）[literally means versailles, a slang that means the same thing as flexing / humblebragging in english] 

- gan wangxing unintentional comedian

han peiquan, on his first impressions of gan wangxing: ‘he’s such so good-looking, and then he opens his mouth (disbelievingly rolls his eyes) i almost died right there’ 

on being 11th for 2nd eliminations: ‘in the past, my life plan was that after graduating from university, i’d find a stable job and live a nine-to-five life. and i used to fantasize that in my future i’d be able to find a wife early, drive a car to bring her travelling, we can listen to some music and lift our heads to see the stars’ 

other trainees: laughing and going ‘oOHHHH’, notably including xie xingyang: ‘he’s still fantasizing!’ 

also other trainees, after seeing the video his family sent to cheer him on: ‘where’s the wife? where’s the wife!’ 

also ‘hello, look at me’ coming up everytime he shows up

case in point - the mentors erupting into laughter when gan wangxing steps forward to do his evaluation, notably zhou zhennan: ‘kill me with it!’ [i’m not sure how to translate what he actually said in a better way than that], nene following up by simply going ‘hello’, zhou zhennan immediately picking it up while still laughing: ‘look at me’

holding the umbrella for nene at the end of “it’s raining and i’m thinking of you” stage just for all the trainees backstage to go ‘why’s it you!’ 

Very Passionately telling gong jun what jing long taught him on singing

- ‘andy lau has come to visit our zoo!’ 

- wu yuheng’s quest for chilli sauce in his dorm diary:

wu yuheng and fu sichao terrorising a staff member for chilli sauce until the staff goes to wu yuheng ‘if you wake him (fu sichao) up every morning i’ll make sure you get your chilli sauce’ to which fu sichao says to wu yuheng ‘you know what chilli sauce isn’t that great let’s go’ 

wu yuheng straight up drinking zhou keyu’s chilli sauce because i could never 

- liu yu confessing to lin mo as a dare from shao mingming but lin mo’s in the toilet so liu yu has to awkwardly do it standing outside the cubicle door while shao mingming and xue bayi eat the drama up 

- oscar’s reaction to people finding out his real name + the entire ‘xiong xiong’ saga 

- lelush with a pearl earring 

- rikimaru moments that deserve a segment of their own 

having the first comment on his first solo performance be ‘drop your skincare routine’ [essentially] because the mentors didn’t have anything to critique on his performance 

at the start of his speech at 3rd eliminations, when it was clearly evening: ‘good morning’ 

getting very sad over the fact that yumeri didn't send him a video to cheer him on + being jealous every time someone's sister showing up in the videos

- speaking of sisters, the guys simping over amu's sisters + amu, asking the mentors when trainees had the chance to dedicate a few words to each other during the final livestream: 'can my sisters come next year?'

- santa, on preparation for nana party stage: ‘she (mao xiaotong) learnt the choreography really fast, and even if she made mistakes she’ll be like *makes cute expressions* so even when she did i’d be like “it’s ok! no problem!” she’s so cute’ the staff interviewing him: ‘is this the santa we know?’ 

- “the adventure” team making fun of their female guest before finding out said female guest was meng meiqi aka goddess incarnate AND had been watching them make fun of her through the cameras 

- lin mo’s bat song

- xie xingyang discreetly stealing food from the staff on their movie night that was originally supposed to only be for those who used their beans before a whole group of them [led by jing long, consisting of xie xingyang, wei ziyue, hu yetao and others] just go and outright take it with nine hugging the staff member to let them take the food that entire bts video is a mess and you know what? that’s what i’m here for

- zhou zhennan’s constant ‘wtf’ face 

- that chuang x GQ beach video 

- gong jun’s entire time on chuang, but especially the moments with zhou shen. felt like a fever dream tbh 

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for Friends to Lovers with Rodrick Heffley

Rodrick Heffley x reader

warnings: mentions of a bad home life

a/n: YALL I FUVKING DID IT AND IM TERRIFIED OF THE REPERCUSSIONS

prompt: y/n and rodrick have been friends for a long time, so long boundaries seem to be blurred

you’ve actually known rodrick since elementary school

it all started when he asked you to join his band

“i can play drums, you can play the tambourine because that’s the only other instrument i have! it’ll be wicked!”

your band lasted a week and only had one gig, it was for rodrick’s parents

who LOVED you by the way

they somehow permitted you to sleepover almost every other day, you practically lived at their house

FOR YEARS you did this

terrorizing lil greg

“what’s he gonna do, pee his diaper?”

“rodrick!!!”

always trick or treating together, exchanging candy when you got back go his house (or occasionally yours)

you guys didnt like hanging at your house, your parents were kind of....a lot to handle

starting middle school together, wreaking havoc on all the teachers

rodrick did it to impress you, according to mr. and mrs. heffley

but he’d give you a stupid little smirk from across the classroom after he got scolded so you believed them

whenever anyone gave you shit at school, rodrick wouldn’t hesitate to step in and show them who’s boss

“rodrick, you’re gonna get detention again!”

“yeah, well, i’m not gonna let them be mean to you”

you went to his house after school most days, sometimes you’d get there first while he was in detention

mrs. heffley had after school snacks

“y/n, why don’t you play some video games with greg while you wait for rodrick to get home?”

playing wii sports with greg, who cried when you won

you also had time to do homework while you waited, rodrick usually copied afterwards

when rodrick came home, he’d drag you to the garage to show you his drum skills

he hit himself in the head with his drumstick

“ooh, that’s gonna leave a mark”

next step was high school, which was a weird step up

but you guys had each other

you still spent most nights at the heffley residence, but you had to sleep on the couch instead of on the floor in the attic (aka rodricks lair)

“you two are growing up, so we think it’s best that you don’t sleep in the same room together, right?”

rodrick emptied one of his drawers for you to put your clothes in

but you still end up stealing his clothes half the time

“i wish i could be mad, but you wear all of my clothes better than me”

subconsciously doing couple-y things without realizing it

like rodrick would pull you closer to him when you two were together, put his arm around you, give you his jacket, etc

“are you guys serious? you’ve got to be dating!” -everyone

“rodrick, when are you and y/n going to get together?” -mr. and mrs. heffley

the answer was always the same: “we’re just friendssssss”

watching his band practice and cheering him on no matter what

you’re his guest vocals ☺️

when he got the van, it was a whole new world for you guys

you could go out wherever whenever

(with parent approval usually)

“wanna go ride around for a little while? hit a gas station and get a bunch of candy?”

“do you even have to ask?”

watching scary movies in his room

“platonic” cuddling in his bed

stuffing your face in the crook of his neck during scary scenes

“come on, y/n! it’s not that bad!”

him having to hold onto you for comfort so you’d keep watching with him

sometimes falling asleep together and his mom or dad coming to check on you later

“alright, time for bed! y/n, you get your usual couch...”

laughing your ass off at rodrick when he messes with greg

manny loves you, sometimes rodrick is jealous of the attention you give to his baby brother instead of him

rodrick scooping you up in his arms when you least expect it, never fails to make you scream

“hey there, hot stuff”

“you’re impossible!”

roller skating together, he held your hand the whole time bc he was worried you’d fall

his friends ENDLESSLY taunt him over your relationship

when he makes plans with others, he always says “let me ask y/n first” which just SENDS his friends oh my god

“dude, that’s your s/o!”

“no, they’re not! shut up!”

hating being apart a lot its so stressful

sometimes you’d have a pretty hard time at home and show up to his house at odd hours, but you were always welcome

you have your own key

“hey, what’s wrong?”

“my parents...they’re just the worst”

rodrick knows its bad when you start crying

he took you up to his room and played some music (quietly as not to wake the house)

you laid on top of him while he rubbed your back and told you that he was there for you

dozing off on him, as per usual

dude, the amount of pictures you have? astronomical

you playing his drums, the two of you going 🤘, an actual nice picture of you guys, him carrying you on his back, kiddos on your first day of school by year, you kissing his cheek “platonically”

comforting him when he was having his own hard times, whether it be an argument with his parents/greg, difficulties with musical inspiration, or anything else

“come here, you need a hug”

“i need several”

“you’ll get ‘em”

talent show! talent show! talent show!

you completely cussed out the rest of his band before they went on bc they had the audacity to replace him

but greg managed to save the day

“greg, my dude, give me a high five, that was awesome”

he wasn’t actually half bad but like, his mom kinda stole the show

more joyrides in the van

absolutely BLASTING the music in there while you and rodrick sat on the floor in the back and ate the taco bell you’d just picked up

“dude, you gotta try my potato griller, it’s a godsend”

“okay, but try this slushie, its so good. i mean, not as good as a 7-eleven slushie, but it’s up there”

finishing your food and laying in the van for another hour bc you just loved each other’s company

but after sitting together alone for so long, you felt like there was something left to do, what was it?

you and rodrick were moving around a bunch and ended up next to each other sitting against the wall of the van

you looked over at each other and hesitated before leaning in to kiss

and you guys kissed for a while

okay, so, you made out on the floor of his van with led zeppelin playing in the background

✨magical✨

it wasn’t awkward or anything, just long overdue

okay it was a little awkward actually

“well, that was” *clears throat* “that was cool or whatever”

“yeah...wanna do it again?”

“oh, for sure”

not like it was a surprise to anyone when you announced you were FINALLY dating

“wait, you guys just started dating? i thought you’d been together for like, at least 5 years” -mr. heffley

“this is great! obviously, we’ll need to set up some boundaries so that everyone is comfortable and safe, but yay for young love!” -mrs. heffley

“gross” -greg

mrs. heffley wrote a column in the newspaper about you titled “my teenage son’s fantastic significant other”

not much changed after you and rodrick got together, just kissing, “i love you’s” and more teasing from friends and school faculty

“we were all rooting for you two, actually!” -the teachers

summer vacation with him

it was always SWEET

going to the pool together, he’d usually lay out on the chairs with you but you were able to drag him into the pool a few times

“come onnnn, it’ll be funnnn”

“you’re lucky you’re cute”

hugs from behind!!! kisses on the top of ur head!!!!

PROM AH HAH HAH

seeing rodrick in a tux was too funny for you, you almost couldn’t stop laughing (especially at the eyeliner he insisted on wearing)

but he just couldn’t stop staring at you

“rodrick!”

“what?! you’re stunning!”

honestly, prom wasn’t all it was cracked up to be

you danced like maniacs for a few songs and ended up ditching early on

but you did end up renting a bunch of movies and getting tonssss of snacks and changing into pajamas as soon as you got to his house

im talking popcorn, candy bars, ice cream, cans of pop, chips, chicken nuggets and so on

and also passing out on each other

“i think i love you a little more, i didn’t know that was possible”

“i have that effect on people”

he makes u breakfast before his mom gets the chance though

“pancakes? for me?”

“i put chocolate chips in them too, you’re gonna love them”

(they were a lil bit burned, still good tho)

you guys really did just spot on get each other

okay but i know you also roast each other sometimes so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

relationship goals, honestly

fresh outta ideas 🤠 goodnight

[alloftheimaginess]

Tell All

A/n: I cried when I got this request. It literally took me back to being 14 years old writing cringe fanfics on wattpad of one direction and their super stereotypical likes and dislikes lol also before I found out that black people wrote imagines so I was always reading "and Yn brushed her long blonde hair up into a messy bun and decided she looked good and was ready to go about her day, making sure she applied sunscreen because her fair skin burned easily" those were good times. Also changed it up a little reader and Harry stayed together and are in an amazing relationship because who wouldn’t want to be exclusive it’s Harry fucking styles. Also it’s my first Harry imagine so it definitely sucks lol

Warnings: a few swear words, sucky writing and probably a ton of mistakes.

"Let's welcome our guest" Lauren the host says and I run on stage and she pulls me into a big hug as everyone cheers and I hug her back, rocking us back and forth.

"Oh my god, how are you?" I ask kissing her cheek as I pull back.

"I'm so good, super glad you're here" she says.

"You and me both" I say pulling away fully and turning to the audience and I smile at them.

"And how are you all?" I ask and they all cheer so I laugh.

"That's good to hear" I say sitting down and I smile.

"So I have yet to read your book, your tell all as it has yet to come out officially. I'm hoping you could read just a little of it" she says handing me the book I sent her yesterday and I nod opening it to the chapter I want to read from.

"Keep in mind everyone, if you haven't already preordered Yn's book do it. It comes out in four days and I seen online from your official site it’s already sold out" she says and I smile at her nodding.

“Yeah but I’ve partnered with a bunch of stores so if they have books you can buy it. Also I’m donating a bunch of books” I say and she smiles.

“Really?” She asks and I nod.

“Yeah, with every book bought it’s a meal for a family so I bought out like 3 thousand copies and so that’s 3 thousand families fed and not even to mention all the copies that have been ordered from everyone. So now I have all these books and will be giving them out starting today” I say and everyone in the audience cheers.

“Sounds like you guys are actually excited so I’ll start with you” I say and they cheer even louder and I laugh.

"Ready?" She asks and I nod.

"I'm so nervous" she says giggling and I laugh.

"You're nervous, how do you think I feel? You guys are the first people besides my mom that are hearing anything from it. But the chapter I chose is called ‘Oh No I'm Pregnant’ so we’ll start there" I say and everyone starts screaming in the audience and I have to cover my ears as I laugh, even Lauren is in shock and I laugh waiting for the screams to die down.

"This isn't what I needed at all. The band is broken up, I don't know what to do with myself. We're only 21 and 20 this can not be happening" I read and she leans in smiling at me.

"I remember my thoughts. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe the break is exactly what we needed at this time so I can focus on being a mother, yes this is exactly what I need because now I can give you all of my attention" I read and the pictures of Winnie pop up on the screen and Lauren turns to look at them.

"Oh my god, she looks like Harry!" Someone screams and I giggle behind the book.

"Look at those curls" Lauren says.

"How am I going to tell him? How will he look at me. Will I just be the woman he made an accidental child with that he won't even want? Will he hate me and say it's not his? What will his family think? His family is some of my biggest supporters. We have been together for a while but we’ve never even talked about kids" I read.

"Do I tell him immediately or do I tell him later? I have all these questions and no one to help me answer them" I read flipping the page and everyone is listening while watching videos of Winnie and I, some of them from when she first started walking to now as she's almost five years old and she's in gymnastics doing flips.

"Moving past my doubt of pregnancy. This is called dedicated to Winnie" I say and everyone cheers.

"The minute I heard your heartbeat you took over my every thought. I have to be an amazing mother to you, I have to give you all that you deserve. Then I found out you were a girl. My little girl with a beating heart and I knew your name. As soon as I seen you I knew you were my little Gwyneth" I read and the video pops up of Harry playing the guitar and everyone starts cheering

"We'll be a fine. We'll be a fine line. We'll be a fine line" he sings playing the song on the guitar.

"What are we going to be?" He asks and the camera points towards Winnie who's sat in my lap.

"We'll be alright" she sings bouncing with him to the music.

"Again" he yells over the music and she giggles.

"We'll be alright" she sings through her giggles.

"Why?" He asks still playing the song.

"Because of mommy" she sings to the beat of the song and I tickle her and she giggles doubling over from laughter.

"Because of mummy" Harry sings and I smile at him.

"We'll be alright" he sings standing up and she sings with him and he kisses her head before he quickly pecks my lips and I laugh.

"Holy shit!" Lauren yells as the audience is losing their shit.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up" she says freaking out.

"I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry I know I'm not supposed to swear but how could I not? Did you just see that fucking video? Yn you are going to give everyone a heart attack" she says and she stares at me with wide eyes.

"I can't believe this is real" she says laughing and the audience is still losing their shit and I just laugh through all the chaos.

"You came onto this show letting us think we had the upper hand because you have to answer every question we ask but really you had all the power over us" she says.

"I'm literally crying. Play that back" she says wiping her eyes and they play it again.

"How old is she?" She asks.

"She's four. Almost five" I say.

"What's her full name?" She asks.

"Gwyneth Anne Styles" I say and she covers her face.

"After Harry’s mom? Who all knows about her?" She asks.

"Yes and my family knows, his family, the boys aka Zayn, Niall, Louis and Liam, the food delivery guy that brought me food the whole time I was pregnant from that Chinese food place, the people that help Harry with his albums so everyone in the studio. James Corden and now all of you" I say.

"Harry is a dad. Oh my gosh" she says covering her face and I hear some of the audience crying.

“So are you two like officially together?" She asks and I nod.

"Yeah" I say smiling at her.

"Like dating or marriage because after the news of a whole five year old I can't trust anything else you say" she says and I laugh.

"Just dating, I'm only 25. I'm still trying to figure myself out" I say and she laughs.

"I wouldn't believe that even for a second" she says eyeing me and I laugh.

"Good" I say.

"Good" she says back and then she pauses.

"Wait what?" She asks and I nod.

"What do you mean good?" She asks.

“Ooh that looks like it’s time” I say.

“Uh uh, I need information” she says.

“We have to move on” I say

[theji]

我的世界守则 The Rules of My World: An Analysis

I came across this video while browsing Weibo last night. It was taken during Yibo's rehearsal for his 'The Rules of My World' performance. I've listened to the song countless times and I like it, the rhythm and all, and the dance. But as with many rap music, I don't pay attention to the lyrics. I suddenly realised I don't really know what the song is talking about, save for the few phrases that stood out. That sparked my interest and inspired today's post. I had previously done some analysis of Zhan's songs, so it's Yibo's turn.

Disclaimer: I am not a professional translator or lyricist. And obviously I'm not Yibo nor do I know him personally, so I can't say for sure what the song is really about. The following analysis is purely based on my personal interpretation. It has CPN components. Please skip if you don't believe that BJYXSZD.

'The Rules of My World' is the 2nd song that Yibo penned the lyrics to himself. The fact that he wrote the lyrics is significant and makes the song worth analysing. 2019's 'Wu Gan' was more 'inward-looking'; about Yibo expressing his own thoughts on navigating the entertainment industry. To me, 'The Rules of My World' is him making a statement, a stand, at the same time, he's sending a message to those he cares about - GG and his (real) fans. Yibo released this song on 30 Dec 2020. The timing is interesting cos it like he's summing up his sentiments based on the events that took place during the year. To outsiders, 2020 was a good year for Yibo. He had many endorsements, projects, high exposure, his commercial value rose. But in CPN reality, 2020 was terrible for so many reasons. GG's incident, him being overworked, crazy fan wars and antis etc etc..anyone who cares about Yibo would be delusional to think he had it good last year.

欢迎你们来加入我的世界 (You're welcome to join my world)

入场券上面有正义的光源 (There's a light of justice on the admission ticket)

DD is giving fans an open invitation to enter his world, to understand him as a person and not just an idol. And he also hopes that his world can bring some light to the fans' world, to bring some positivity, encouragement and guidance to them.

此生面对严厉又仁慈的一切 (In this life we'll face harshness but also kindness)

轻松一点，我们一起度过黑夜 (Just relax, together we'll overcome darkness)

In the entertainment world (or life in general), there will be ups and downs, criticisms and compliments. Regardless of what may come, we can overcome any challenges together. Darkness here could also refer to the antis who seem determined to bring GGDD down. This could be a message to fans - to tell them that they don't always have to rush to defend him, and they don't need to retaliate (aka fan wars). It could also be a message to GG, to make a stand of solidarity and to reassure GG that DD will face any challenges alongside him.

新的征途 (A new journey)

愚蠢的，不好相处 (These fools, they aren't easy to get along with)

愚蠢的，不会打住 (These fools, they won't stop)

但衬托明天更耀眼的路 (But they will set off a brighter path for tomorrow)

It was said that DD matured considerably after the 2*7 incident. Took up more responsibility, became more focused on his career and mindful of future advancements etc. Started to take on more serious acting projects and to shift his career trajectory towards something more sustainable and less 'idol'. The new journey could be a reference to this new path. The fools - the antis, those against GGDD - may have caused damage but their actions have also sparked off DD's desire to do better and to find his footing in the entertainment industry. He now has a clearer view of what he wants, the path he wants to take.

我是我的样子 (This is how I am)

我生来就固执 (I was born stubborn)

讲自己的故事 (I'll tell my own story)

活独特的气质 (Living my unique self)

Follow me, 找到自己的价值 (Follow me, find your own value)

不去迎合别人活 才会觉得有意思 (Life is interesting if you don't cater to others)

我的世界不退让 (It's my world I won't give in)

我的世界不退让 (It's my world I won't give in)

Here, DD is being assertive. This is me, I follow my own rules, I'll make my own decisions, I'll forge my own path, I won't be influenced, I won't give up on my beliefs. So antis, capitalists etc can f*ck off.

It could also be seen as an advice to his fans - to follow his lead and live their own lives. This is also something that GG has repeatedly said to fans - to focus on their own lives, personal relationships, studies, careers etc. Don't devote so much time on chasing idols, online fan wars etc.

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

乐观地，走向前 (Just move forward with optimism)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

无所谓，多危险 (Doesn't matter how dangerous it is)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

这是我的世界 (This is my world)

我世界的守则，不许你诡辩 (These are the rules of my world, I won't allow any sophistry)

I see this as DD's words of encouragement, to himself and to GG. Despite all the challenges and hardship, darkness will pass and the sun will come out eventually. And it's shining brightly, there is hope left in this world, there's is much to look forward to. So don't fear, be brave and forge ahead.

Sophistry: the use of clever but false arguments, especially with the intention of deceiving

Poor DD is always hit with industry rumours, about him dating his co-stars etc. Last year, someone even made a false police report against him. Just look at the number of statements his company had to put out. There have also always been ongoing rumours about rivalry between GGDD, tales of backstabbing etc, especially in 2020 at the height of the incident. DD is saying that this is his life, his world. No one knows better than the both of them. So to those who don't know better but continue to spew nonsense about his life and relationships and spread hate, know that I don't care about your antics, they don't hurt me but I won't tolerate them as well.

在我世界行走 (Walking in my world)

什么人生主题你透露 (What kind of life theme do you envisage)

是胆大勇猛所向披靡 (Is it to be bold, courageous and invincible)

或胆小逃避钻进壳里 (Or to be timid and escape into your shell)

喧闹倾诉众人party (Is it to pour out your troubles at a rowdy party)

寂寞相思不停地哭泣 (Or to cry silently non-stop out of loneliness and love-sickness)

都欢迎你来我这里 (All are welcome)

只要跟从自己的内心 (So long as you follow your heart)

跟限制和噪音 说一声 bang bang (I'll say 'Bang Bang' to restriction and noises)

怪兽都退散 (Monsters, be gone)

What kind of person am I in your eyes? The cool guy or soft sweet babie Yibo? Here, DD is acknowledging that the public has many different perceptions of him, and fans love different personas of him and he's ok with that. But if you love him, then let him be. Don't try to restrict him, don't quarrel or force him into a certain mould of your preference. He won't hesitate to shoot the haters (monsters) down.

迈出轻��的步伐 (Take a light step forward)

一声令下 (With a single command)

来宣布 告别孤勇 (To announce a farewell to having to fight alone)

On this new path, with a new-found realisation of what he wants, DD is clear of what he wants to achieve and he is no longer burdened by fear, uncertainties etc. Both GGDD now have each other by their sides, they share a common purpose as they navigate the intricacies of the entertainment industry together and work their way to the top. And I think this is something that we're seeing more in the fandom since end 2020 - GGDD seemingly becoming more bold in their actions and messages they put out (silent or otherwise).

想要做盘旋的龙 (Wanna be a hovering dragon)

还想做懒散的虫 (Or a lazy worm)

别打扰我 走开 没空 (Don't bother me, go away, I have no time for that)

In public, DD is that proud and confident king. He's not a pushover. But behind the cameras, he just wants to chill and relax (and play games). Please don't bother me, give me some privacy to lead my own life, don't tell me what I can or cannot do.

Cue DD's message. He meant it.

Follow me, 找到自己的价值 (Follow me, find your own value)

不去迎合别人活 才会觉得有意思 (Life is interesting if you don't cater to others)

我们永远不退让 (We will never give in)

我们永远不退让 (We will never give in)

This is a repetition of the earlier verse but what has changed is the last 2 lines. From <It's my world I won't give in>, DD now says <We will never give in>. This was actually the first thing that sparked off my CPN, and hinted to me that this song concerns GG in some ways. Who's We? We all know how GGDD almost always use the word 'we' in their CQL promo interviews and bts, as though they come as a package and all views represent both of them as a entity. This also echoes the earlier sentiments - both of them, after the 2020 incident, have developed a steely resolve. They won't let the antis or challenges or societal views hold them back anymore. Their world, their rules. They will fight for their rights and what they believe in, and they are determined to reach their goals.

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

乐观地 走向前 (Just move forward with optimism)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

无所谓 多危险 (Doesn't matter how dangerous it is)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

这是我的世界 (This is my world)

我们的世界不会被改变 (Our world will never be changed)

Again, similar to the above 'we' example. From this part of the song onwards, DD is referring to them both. The last line could also be viewed as an affirmation of GGDD's commitment to each other. Whatever is it, our relationship will not change. We will go through it all together.

Don‘t stop, get it, get it

Let me see you work up on it

Don’t stop, get it, get it

Let me see you all up on it

Let me see you work up on it

Don‘t stop, get it, get it

Don't stop

Hey

I interpret this as DD's words of encouragement to GG. Like don't stop fighting, continue to work hard towards your (our) goals. Go for it, you can do it!

在我的世界 (In my world)

本能很关键 (Instinct is the key)

坚持自己 (Stay true to yourself)

就是你们的世界 (It is your world)

DD's parting words to fans: to stay true to oneself, to build and enrich your own worlds, to fight for your goals, like how he is trying.

Well, I had fun working on this. Maybe I'll do Wu Gan another time. Reminded me of literature class during my schooling days, although I never did Chinese literature back then. Feel free to share your thoughts on the song with me. =D

[engineer-in-space]

a simple call of the wild review that is totally professional and not way too detailed by me (February)

It's gonna be a bit of comparing to previous powerwolf albums/songs and remember everything is my own opinion. If you disagree/agree we may talk about it in a civilized way, I actually love talking to others about this shit!

But otherwise (hate, insults, etc.) you can keep your opinion somewhere where I can't see it :) Also, the album has barely been out for a day and things change with time and I may grow to like certain things more. (but there's not too much that I don't like tbh) But I hope you enjoy this metalhead-gremlin's ramblings!

Faster than the flame

I had to listen to it quite a few times before I could say anything about it. It's a powerful start into the new album, however, it is (as previously stated) powerful but didn't blow me away like the first songs on the previous albums. (Fire &forgive, Blessed &possessed, amen & attack - wait am I just now noticing a pattern here? oh my god. Anyway.) Maybe I got that personal feeling that I want it to be Fire & Forgive, which is, of course, not possible and would be boring. So i think I'm not even critizing the song but rather the order of the songs.

It feels like a typical powerwolf song; both lyrics and instrumental. Fast, heavy, something about flames and burning - awesome. The two Latin parts (I think it's called the pre-chorus? man, I have no idea and will just throw around these words because my internet connection is too bad to look this up. But if you listen, you'll know which parts I mean.) already give me goosebumps. I also really, really liked the bridge (again?? idk??) aka the "flame, flame, burning wild in heavens name" part. This was the most memorable part for me after the first time listening. Of course, the guitar arrangement throughout the whole song is just... god bless. I must say that using the word "pastor" is dangerous because my stupid brain keeps thinking Attila is singing about "pasta" again... Oh well, moving on!

Beast of Gevaudan

Man, I've been listening almost non-stop since it was released as a single! At first, my head was comparing it somewhat to army of the night but after a few times this feeling was gone and it became an awesome new idea/song. The choir and orchestra part are so well placed and support the rest of the instrumental and Attila's voice perfectly. Again, much fast, very powermetal. I've grown very fond of the guitar solo. The lyrics tell us a little about the story of the beast and I. Love. Storytelling. In. Songs. Glad matthew finally came around to put his idea out there!

This song also has a video, which left me speechless at first. I love Attila's acting so much??? And making this sort of their own story of Jesus was such a cool idea. Production is high quality as well (didn't expect anything less after The Sacrament of Sin MVs) and there were really nice shots in there. I doubt that I will get tired of this song and this video anytime soon!

Dancing with the dead

That choir stuff in the beginning, following by that awesome guitar riff already had me. I couldn't stop listening to this one either. This might be, in my opinion, the most catchy song on the whole album. The intruments are in perfect harmony with Attila's heavenly voice. The transition into the guitar solo is so damn smooth and well done. I'm having a whole crisis about how good this song is.

The lyrics are interesting too! Again, there's a story to be told. As far as I can interpret it, being introduced to some darker powers and growing to enjoy them, despite previously having lots of faith, is what's going on here. It has this slight feeling of... corruption (in a good way of course). This makes me want to go dancing (with the dead)

This one also has a video! Once again, very high quality. Every band member had their "special moments/shots" and just looked stunning. But Attila left them all behind this time. Slow dancing, in a suit, with that smirk on his lips??? Well done, my dude.

Varcolac

This one's dark and heavy. It brings me back to the good ol' times of Lupus Dei and Bible of the Beast. Just with more orchestra, choir and overall harmony. It makes me so happy that Powerwolf is using so many real life legends and figures on this album! And they did such a good job with them as well. If this song was alive, it would be a scary beast.

The typical metal elements and orchestra/choir parts are very well balanced. And the organ throughout the whole song is fitting. It supports the dark and sinister feeling of the whole thing. My favourite part may be the "And as army we bing fire..." parts! Man, I just love werewolves. Also, I think Attila's famous gibberish singing made a return in this one!

Alive or undead

Oh boy,here we go. The piano in this one is incredible. "Here we STAAAAAAND!" Goosebumps and shivers. Everything about this is so emotional andreading the lyrics while listening just makes me want to cry, ok?! T_T Powerwolf has become so flexible, exploring different ways to make music. This could have been some kind of typical powermetal song but it's not and I'm glad about it.

Even if it's a little different, they never stray to far from what makes them special. The few parts, reminding one of typical church music would not have been necessary but are appreciated! They know when to leave out the guitars and go slowly. What bothers me a little, is that it somehow feels like Attila's voice had a tiny bit more potential up to the chorus. It could've been a little bit softer? if i can put it that way. But honestly this song is raw emotion and everything still fits together. If you thought their first ballad was emotional, buckle up, this one kicked me right in the feels.

Blood for blood (Faoladh)

Powerwolf ventures again into the folk metal territory and successfully conquers it! Could be a headline of something. Anyway, this song is a very worthy successor of Incense & Iron! It just makes me happy, its melody is so light - combined with your typical Powerwolf lyrics. Perfect song to start jumping up and down! It radiates motivational energy. Just like Dancing with the dead, this song has a very smooth transition to the guitar parts.

The melody is strong but still easy enough to quickly get into it! I can barely sit still and write this aaaa. Seriously, I am just happy with this song and will go jump and headbang a while to it!

Glaubenskraft

I have returned from jumping and oh no. It's a German song. Bold of them to go all out on that Latin beginning... it works really well though! It might be because I'm German but this song hits hard. Very hard. It's not easy to make this language sound good and ( if you don't happen to know much about German) the lyrics consist of a bunch of old words and grammar you wouldn't normally use anymore. But they made it fucking work!!! The quiet verses only make the pre-chorus and chorus itself heavier and blow me away. And SOMEHOW this super epic song with (made up, at least I'm pretty sure they don't exist like that) Latin words is about.. you know what Powerwolf writes about a lot. And I LOVE that. It's so subtle and only if you read into it, you're like "wait a minute".

This song has a feeling of corruption too. But not in a good way this time. It feels evil and intimidating and - honestly, I can't get enough of it. Everyone of my neighbours will think I'm some kind of weird Christian fanatic because I WILL yell "Glaubenskraft" just as much as I yelled "Stossgebet". Worth it, tho.

Call of the wild

The song with the same title as the album! (or the other way around, whatever.) This song is just catchy from the beginning to the end. Like many other songs its fast and hard. Just how I like it. Don't take that out of context.

The lyrics and instruments go wild (haha get it), with a really neat Latin pre-chorus. It's very fun to listen to. Personally, it makes me feel like I belong to the pack. That we're strong together, that we can say fuck it once in a while and just go crazy. The chanted part near the end of the song reminds me strongly of Sanctified with dynamite (ya know "die, die dynamite" and "call, call, call of the wild") and it's really cool they pick up on old things once again. Be it intentional or not. It's a reminder that they still are who they were back then - and their music is still fucking incredible.

Simply an epic song, strong vocals, strong guitars. I really, really like the intro. Attila has to sing so many words in such little time, does he even need to breathe now and then?

Now I'm wondering what came first; the album title or the track title? Chicken or the egg?

Sermon of swords

First of all: WHAT IS THAT OMINOUS VOICE IN THE BEGINNING. Mark me down as horny and scared. Ahem.

I really like how the verse and the chorus have their own theme and melody going on and yet they're connected. The chorus is super catchy too! And just say it yourself "Sermon of swords", how cool does it sound??? The choir in the beginning is a really neat introduction into the whole song. The lyrics match the whole album, very much a soundtrack to go on a crusade to, like Raise your fist, Evangelist or Christ & Combat. Just... "AAMEEN!" Ok, I'm actually going insane here, calm down, Feb. These might be my favourite lyrics of the whole album I think?? (unless I said that somewhere else already, then i have more than one favourite.)

The whole song has a more "classical" feeling to it, not only in the Powerwolf sense but also in the Heavy Metal sense in general. BUT. Orchestra and choir are prefectly mixed, especially supporting Attila in the chorus. The guitar solo is really cool and sounds very Greywolf-y, if you know what I mean. It's just Matthew's style.

Undress to confess

The name of this song says it all. This is your friendly reminder that no matter how much they preach about Jesus or the Devil, Powerwolf should not be taken too seriously. When I first saw the title I couldn't help but chuckle a little.

The melody is pretty catchy and easy to remember, the organ and general approach reminds me of Demons are a girl's best friend. I absolutely love how the lyrics are on that thin line of somewhat poetic and ridiculous. Let me provide two examples here: "all the world we posess for desire and sin we carress" - man, this sounds pretty.

And there's also "dressed to hide the dark, and obsessed to ride him hard on the.... crucifix." Yeah, I... I don't know what I expected here. Anyway, this is how you describe church sex without actually using explicit words. (why are you booing me, i'm right)

Still really nice to listen to and have a good time!

Reverent of rats

We arrived at the last song of the album! And here we picked up on the speed and power again! The way the organ is played during the verses makes it so... sinister. Again, this piece reminds me of Lupus Dei. The verses keep the sinister feeling while the chorus picks up more... drama? An epic melody mixed with epic words make my soul ascend to heaven.

This guitar solo is also the absolute good shit. It might be my favourite from all the songs of this album?! Additionally, the drums? I don't know why but they really stand out here. Love how fast paced they are.

Aaaaand that's it! If you've read all the way through holy shit, you are actually a badass. Thank you for staying with me, my werewolf friend. Maybe we'll meet where the wild wolves have gone. But always remember: Metal is religion.

[qianoir]

After Midnight 3 - Stars

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: college dropout!Ten (WayV) x fem!reader

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: non-idol au, angst with fluff on top

𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 13+

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cursing (censored), lying, family problems, mentions death of reader's father, romance

♡ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.9K

𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭: @staysstrays

Preview < 1 < 2 < 3

Your head was pounding from your ears drinking in the tantrum of a 3 year old boy, the cries diving straight into your ringing eardrums. A young couple showed up with their child who started offing himself about your café not having some made up hybrid cake he wanted for the last 10 minutes.

The boy started flailing around and knocked his mother's iced Americano out of her hand in the process, landing the freezing and pungent liquid all over you.

The LED clock above you flickered with a new hour, freeing you from the café’s dark roasted chains. You ripped the soaked apron over your head and stuffed it into the back room’s washing machine before taking hold of your belongings and rushing out of the building after saying a quick “good-bye” to your mother- who was not about to deal with the coddled boy and you leaving all at once, so she kicked the spoiled family out, them following your irritated trail on the way through the doors.

You were walking fast to have a little costume change before meeting up with Ten and his friends, 5 o’clock coming within the next 20 minutes.

Y/N

Heyyo I had a little accident at work so I'm going to stop by my place to clean up before heading over to yours.

Once you were in your own space, you peeled the rest of the coffee soaked clothing off of your body, sticking the wet collection into the washer to cold soak after dressing up nicely.

TEN

d.amn it y/n you are too old to be soiling yourself

???

Y/N

That’s not what I meant!

TEN

Whatever ;p

Stepping out into the bright evening air, you realized you don't even know where the hell to go. The napkin with the address was in the pocket of your apron washing back at the café.

You recognized the street that leads to Décalcomanie, the street that leads to Myeongdong, and one leading to a duck shop.

Admitting defeat, you texted Ten.

Y/N

hey so I left the napkin with your address in my apron.. which I don't have would you mind sending it to me?

TEN

such a handful~

You followed the GPS to his address. His apartment building was on the other side of your school you usually metro to, so it was a pretty tiring walk. Arriving fashionably late, you knocked on door number 117.

There was a lot of commotion and screaming, as you were previously informed. Finally, Ten opened the door and waved for you to come in.

Taking your shoes off at the entrance, you saw three guys tackling each other, two others playing video games, and one really fine looking man behind an island in the kitchen.

"Hello!!" One of the guys being tackled shouted and waved at you which got him punched in the back by the guy orchestrating the tackling. You hesitantly waved back "Hi Y/N!!" The boy in the kitchen said with a charming smile.

"Lovely place." You said to Ten with a giggle as he closed the door with an annoyed look on his face. "Y/N, these are my friends,"

He took you over to the couch where the two players were. "This is Sicheng and Xuxi," The two boys playing Mario Kart threw a glance your way and waved with a smile. "these fools are Hendery, Xiaojun, and Yangyang.."

Hendery strained to wave again under the two boys with a big smile on his face, as did the two others. Ten swayed you into the kitchen and introduced you to the last man. This guy was so handsome, like the Asian bachelor. "I'm Kun." The man greeted, kindly.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Y/N. Our Ten always talks about you." Yangyang says walking towards you two. Ten sent him a glare. "Is that so?"

"At least I'm not blind from having my head up my ass all day, Yangyang shut up!" His voice cracked, making you and Yangyang erupt in laughter.

"Anyways, if you'll excuse us- I invited Y/N here for us to be alone." He took your wrist in his grasp and led you to a room.

Ten pet a space on the bed for you to sit down while he leaned over his desk, searching on his laptop. A slow beat filled the room. You recognized this song- the song your dad would play for your mom in the car on long road trips: Something by The Beatles.

Something in the way she moves

attracts me like no other lover

Something in her style that shows me

I don’t want to leave her now

you know I believe and how.

Your parents were so in love. When your father first heard this song, he had made it their special theme to portray their love. They had both become big fans of The Beatles and always had this song pop up at least once in every holiday or event playlist or could be caught quoting it occasionally when the timing was right. Your heart sank in your chest at the memory.

You hadn't realized that the song had ended or that Ten was at your side watching you intently. You looked up at him and he offered a small smile.

"My parents used to listen to this song all the time."

"Really? Are you guys close?"

Your mouth felt sour hearing the inevitable question. “My dad died from pneumonia when I was younger. My mom tries to be present for me, but I know she misses him.” Tears puddled at your waterline as you forced yourself not to cry. “Sometimes I think she only keeps trying because she thinks I’m studying premed when I really hide pointe shoes in my closet. I don’t have the heart to tell her what I’m really majoring in.. because I’m terrified of us losing each other completely and frankly, she would never forgive me of my dishonesty if she would stay.”

"It's not wrong.. following your passion" Ten announced after a whole note of silence, "I'm sorry for making you bring up such a past, but I’m happy I can at least sympathize with you..” He looked away from you to recall his memories clearly.

“My parents didn't agree with me wanting to study dance either. And they certainly did not agree with me leaving my hometown in Thailand and dropping out of college to come here for the best art opportunities. Mine and the rest of the guys outside; all of us are a little more distant from our family than usual just because we are passionate." Ten confessed.

"I'm sorry." You weakly rasped.

"I'm not." Ten smiled at you.

"My friends and I are doing what we love without anyone holding us back and one day it's going to all pay off.. I know it will.. If it wouldn't I would have never dropped out."

You could understand where he was coming from. He is really passionate and faithful to his dreams, it is a little inspiring.

"And you seem to be doing good on your own, too. You're studying dance, which I'm sure you're amazing at, and working at the café to help your mom, letting people make a mess of you that you always undoubtedly pick yourself up from." You laughed, the sad tears rolling down your cheeks and turning to bittersweet tears of joy.

"Thank you, Ten."

"Anytime, Y/N." He handed you a napkin for your eyes.

A cough was heard outside the closed door, along with faint whispers.

"Lucas, shut the HELL up!"

Ten got up and opened the door, making four boys come tumbling inside the room.

All rushing to get up, Lucas stayed laying on the floor, "Uh, hi guys." he offered a charming smile. "We were just coming to tell you that dinner is ready?" Yangyang shrugged obviously.

Ten snickered.

"Nice try, guys-"

"Dinner is ready!" Kun yelled from the kitchen.

"What did I tell you?" Yangyang stuck out his tongue, cockily. Ten rolled his eyes and looked over at you,

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Uhm-"

"She is staying, I already made her a plate!" Kun yelled once again from the kitchen. The other boys ran out of the doorway to the kitchen.

"I guess it's settled then..." Ten sighed and reached his hand out to you, which you took. You were led into the dining room where the other boys sat. Ten placed you in a chair next to his and Kun’s.

Kun had made zhajiangmian, a Chinese traditional celebration/comfort food aka Chinese spaghetti. It tasted so much better than the bread pastries and milk teas you had been living off of in the past year.

Everyone was very talkative during dinner, you even found out that Ten choreographs his own dances for himself and the others to perform and learned that Kun has a degree in music from a prestigious university in Beijing. The boys you had dinner with were really fun to be around and gave you lots of energy after the intricate start to the new semester.

You didn't realize how lonely your little apartment was until now, even when sharing it with your mother most nights. They made you feel so comfortable and content after lacking companionship since your high school days. Also the food was really good, thanks to Kun.

Everybody finished their food but still continued the little chat at the dinner table "And this one time, Ten ate butter thinking it was ice cream! Who does that!?" Yangyang finished off his story punching the table with laughter.

You glanced at the time on your phone. It was almost 10 o'clock and you had to get to sleep early for your new 8 AM class.

Ten turned to you when he felt short tugs at his hoodie. "Cinderella has to get home?"

The room got quiet with Ten’s words, but quickly exploded in a swarm of whines and begs for you to stay. You gave them an apologetic smile.

Ten stood up, pulling me with him, "I'll walk you home." He was already at the door, kicking on his shoes. Everyone bid you good-bye as you waved to all of them before you and Ten were out the door.

"It's this way." You motioned in the direction of your apartments. Ten nodded and followed your path. It was silent the whole way, but it was a nice silence. It was peaceful with just you two. Arriving soon, you  stopped in front of the entrance and turned around to look at Ten.

"Thank you for having me over, I really enjoyed it. Your friends are really nice."

"Of course. I’m really glad you came. I like spending time with you and I think my friends do as well."

Smiles were exchanged and hearts skipped, both of your breathing patterns were evident in each other’s dialogue. "Do you have any last lyrics before we end the night?"

Your building never shines like the others in its distance. The only light around you is the one that blooms in space and allows the stars to twinkle down to where you stand. Ten took your chin is his hand and created perfect eye contact:

"Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you. And all the things that you do.”

He tossed your chin up before walking off into the night.

To Be Continued…

Something by The Beatles

Yellow by Coldplay

𝘲𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘳

[heyheshi]

Her

2.8k words

written and uploaded: September 10 - 11, 2020

🌙 - angst

Please like and reblog! Also please don't post my writings anywhere!

I'm sorry this is a bit late, I was really busy the whole day! Also i feel like this isn't too angsty or this isn't as heartbreaking as i wanted it to be haha probably because I'm too tired right now, it's 3:00 am where I live but i really wanted to write it since this concept has been with me since i first started writing and i feel like i can nail it since me and this guy broke up just this last Saturday lol. But idk i don't think i gave this one a justice but please let me know!!

Also i tweeked some of the details of the whole album release as well as the album/song meaning/interpretation itself.

Btw! I'm planning on writing a second part and hopefully a third part which will have a spin off so tell me if you want me to write it!

Stream the songs in BOLD LETTERS AKA THE WHOLE ALBUM.

Masterlist

_________

You're proud. You're so proud of him, so fucking proud of your best friend - your boyfriend. You don't remember the last time you felt like this - you're anxious, excited, scarred - everything and you felt like you might pass out with every tick of the seconds of the clock.

You look like a crazy person. Sitting at the end of the edge of the couch, your foot tapping rapidly along with your ranging mind. Your natural nails now looks awful from how much you've bitten it for God knows how long. Your hair disheveled together with your now wrinkled clothes.

Harry on the other hand looks calm - too calm for your liking and you wanna scream at him for still looking so good even though you know he's also just as tense as you, maybe even more, but you can't. Not on one of the most special occasions in his life.

Tonight is the release date of his second solo album "Fine Line". You couldn't fathom how much sleepless nights he went through just to produce this - along with the crew and you couldn't be any less prideful. Harry has been so hands on, from the tunes, to the lyrics, to the instrumentals, to the photo shoot for the album cover, and even in the promo of the album.

You know everything he went through just to make it to his success right now. All the hardships, the pain, the tears, the laughter, the love - you've been there every step of the way. You never left him like how he left her.

And on that note, you felt like it's unfair if you get to hear the album first. Yes, you're there throughout the making but you never heard all of it. Harry insisted that you listen to the album after he's done recording it and as much as you'd love to, you politely declined and protested to just hear it along with the rest of the world, to which he agreed to.

There's just this thrill you're looking for, the thrill of having something you've wanted for a long time. The desire. The hunger. The yearn of hearing it for the first time after waiting for endless nights.

It's like being away from Harry and waiting in your room, longing for his touch, his kiss, his voice, and his presence and when he comes back - all of those explodes within you and it leaves you with the magical feeling that you couldn't feel anywhere else.

The process has been painful for you. He recorded in a different country and you had to do long distance again. At first it was fine but as the weeks passed, it got harder and harder for the both of you - being away from each other - so H insisted that you flew across the world to join him.

You didn't hesitate to say yes but even then, Harry always stays at the studio for days and comes home only for him to leave again but you understand. It's his work and you knew what you signed up for when you became his girlfriend and you vowed to yourself to fight and do everything you can for this relationship.

He was great though, took you on dates when he can and tried to spend as much time as he can with you because he knows that after the release of his album, the interviews will surely be nonstop and he'll be away again to plan for his promotional tour. You'd wake up with cute notes more often than not, flowers were also delivered almost everyday to where you two are staying.

But you felt it. You felt that he was slowly slipping away. You know it deep inside but you pretended not to notice. Too afraid of being kicked out of this world you created for the two of you. But perhaps he never really slipped away because maybe he was never truly yours in the first place.

Harry is so excited for you to hear his second baby so when the alarm clock went off, he quickly refreshed the website and played the first song. Golden.

You love the vibe. It's only the first song but you know that it'll be added to your personal playlist to jam with. He was looking at you the whole time, gauging your reaction but stayed quiet. The living room's filled with his voice and the lively instrumentals until the outro.

Maybe you're wrong. Maybe he wasn't slipping away and maybe he was truly yours before - and until now. Maybe it was just your mind playing tricks on you. Maybe, just maybe. A fifty - fifty chance for everything you don't know but you didn't let it eat you.

Next, the Watermelon Sugar. It is the song you knew will be a single and will have a music video. Just because you haven't heard the album before doesn't mean it stops Harry from sharing details here and there to you.

Your thoughts ran wild with thought of what the music video could be. The song is everything and you couldn't stop humming along with it and based on your reactions, he knew that he made the right choice of picking it as a single.

He's still yours. He loves you and he never slipped through your fingertips. You're most likely forcing yourself to believe it and so far it's working but you know you have to talk to Harry about the two of you sooner or later because it's not healthy for your health at all - the uncertainty that's currently laying in your persona.

The next two songs - Adore You and Lights Up - are the one's you've already heard before since those are the two that have a music video that came out before his album. Adore You is your favorite song. You're maybe being biased but the song just gives you great energy and you absolutely adored the concept of the video, as well as Harry's looks.

But the Lights Up hits different. You were there when they shoot it but you were sick so you didn't get go watch how they did it and you remembered watching the video for the first time and getting really really bothered by it that Harry had to take you to the nearest ice cream shop to calm you down. Your boyfriend looked so hot in it.

You're enjoying the album so far and you're almost too sure that nothing is wrong - or so you thought. It's silly but for some reason you felt like your relationship lies on this album.

Cherry came next, before, you thought it's gonna be upbeat like the Watermelon Sugar and Kiwi but oh boy, it's the opposite. It's not only the tune. It's the song itself that made you wanna walk out of the room.

You love songs like this, the type of songs that cuts deep within your soul. The type of song that can make you cry instantly but this is different.

You know the song is about her and if it the lyrics wasn't enough to slap you in the face, the voicemail at the end surely did. But this one hits different. Maybe it's because it shows you that Harry is not entirely yours in your relationship and that something inside him longs wants to have her again and it hurts. It crushes you but you're staying strong because like before, it's not certain - a maybe, there's still a chance and you're clinging into that like your life depends on it.

You couldn't look up. You know Harry is watching you. He tried to hide the outro, he almost clicked the button for the next track but you held your hand as a sign to stop. He couldn't hide it from you. The outro is still ringing in your ears like it's coming to get you. You can't. You just simply can't. Her voice with his giggles made you wonder what's running through his mind when he decided to put the voicemail.

You tried to hold your emotions and waited for the next song to start but it didn't get any better. Falling made your tears fall, finally. And when your boyfriend asked you if you're okay, the only response you told him was that, "you were so good with this it's making me really emotional", and he bought it.

He bought your lie. You don't know if you shall be happy or not. Happy because you wouldn't need to explain yourself further or sad because Harry believed it instantly without even asking if you're really okay for the second time.

The chorus hits different. You're baffled at how much emotion he put in that particular song. It felt so wrong but you couldn't do anything about it. You're sad. You're hurt. You don't know what will happen next. So you did what you do best - pretend that everything is alright.

Your mind was absent through the next two songs - To Be So Lonely and She. You still can't get over from the previous songs and it guilt you that you couldn't appreciate these songs as much as it shall be appreciated. All you know is that if Harry made it, it's fucking incredible.

He did mention to you in a low voice that To Be So Lonely is one of his favorites and oh you fucking wonder why but you didn't say it out loud, you kept quiet and pretended that you're analyzing every second of the song. And when he told you that She could be added to your love-making playlist, you only nodded.

The thought of it being added to your love-making playlist sickens you to the core specially now that you're almost too certain that this one is also about her, though you didn't reprimanded.

You tried to compose yourself along with the next song Sunflower, Vol. 6. You faked being happy just for the sake of this day. Yes, it is a happy and loving song but you couldn't enjoy it without overanalyzing the lyrics and the same goes to the next song Canyon Moon.

Who is the "Sunflower" Harry is referring to? You or her? Who will he be coming home to? Will he come running into your arms or will he seek warm in her presence? You hate to question it and you hate feeling this way but you're far too deep and you just wanted to get this night over.

Treat People with Kindness reminded you of your childhood cartoon theme songs and it eased you out. It also made you smile for the first time since Cherry and you could tell that Harry's relieved. It was the first time you looked up from the carpet and you almost thought that the next song is your saving grace. It's the final song anyway.

And it is. The only problem is that the song is you right now. Fine Line. The chorus kept repeating and it made you question your relationship. Is your relationship a fine line? Will the two of you be alright?

Thank God it's the last song because you couldn't wait to ask Harry something that really bothered you tonight. You need to know for your sake and for the sake of this relationship.

You'll be lying if you said you only shed a tear on the last song. No, you sobbed and Harry tried to console you and asked what's wrong and its now or never.

Harry beat you to speaking first though, he asked you why did you cried and you only told him, "I'm so proud of you and I couldn't stop my tears from flowing and I love you so much.", which is not a lie but not the whole truth either.

He only nodded and kissed your forehead as a way of saying his thanks. You're certain that he can feel that you're tired so he chooses to stay quiet and you know that he's already planning for a day off for the both of you tomorrow so you can properly tell him your thoughts on his album.

You we're about to ask him. Ask him if he still loves her but the tune of his phone ringing made you stop. He silently asked you if it's alright to answer it and you agreed.

The next few minutes was his friends and families calling and congratulating him. You don't wanna be bitter or be a mood disruptor but you just really want to think and be alone right now, after all, you deserved it. You signed Harry that you will go upstairs to take a rest and he whispered "I love you" but you only nodded and started walking to the stairs.

He didn't notice that you didn't say it back. He was too caught up with the people on his screen. His cheerful voice rang throughout the ground floor as he talks to the other person on the other line.

You don't wanna think about it as you lay down on your shared bed but you couldn't stop thinking about how much of a possibility for her to call him to congratulate him for the success of his second album. You couldn't stop thinking of how they might talk about their relationship. You couldn't stop thinking if Harry will ask her to come back if she did call. You couldn't stop thinking.

You took your phone from your beside table to open Twitter. Harry and his album is trending and praises after praises we're posted in different languages but most of those are about them. Harry and her.

You're numb.

It is now clear to you that the whole album is about her. You never asked or wished to have a song written about you but you also never expected him to dedicate the album solely to her, his ex from two years ago. You get it, you really do. The best songs came from the writers' personal experiences but to basically tell the world that he still wants her breaks you into pieces.

There gotta be at least one line about you. You, the one he is with now and not her. You, the one who's loving him now, not her. You, the one who didn't leave him unlike her. It's you and not her.

But no matter how much you repeat it in your mind, you know it's not you. You love Harry and you tried. Tried supporting him through the day much like all the other days but it's so hard when the universe already shot you with the truth.

You're still proud of him, it will never change but you need something. You have to have something to hold on to because right now you're only grasping to this very little hope that might save your relationship. You're proud but hurt and you hate yourself for not being there. None of it is about you. It's about her. Her and him. Her and Harry. Never you and Harry.

He never even warned you that the album is about her, it seems like he wanted to surprise you but you know he's not cruel but maybe you're just trying to defend him from yourself.

Or maybe he didn't thought you'd think this way. After all he doesn't put meanings behind his songs so you couldn't really get any answer from having him explain to you every song.

Your own interpretation's more than enough though. He still wants her. Maybe he did became yours even just for a second but his love for her is eternal and so he slipped away. You couldn't pretend anymore - not now when you're alone and you can show your emotions, so you sobbed.

You cried for you and Harry. You cried for what you thought was something so beautiful and unbreakable. You cried for what would've been a great night for the both of you and last but not the least, you cried for your uncertain tomorrow.

Tomorrow when you wake up, you don't know if Harry still wants you, you don't know if you can fix this, you don't know if you can still be with him.

Now, you realized it. Tomorrow there might be nothing, no world where only the two of you exists because tomorrow might be the end. The thought of that made you cried harder than you already are. It's so unfair. You love him so much but it doesn't seem enough and no matter how many excuses you naïvely say to yourself, you know it couldn't change the fact that it's her and him - it has always been her and him.

You're too tired and just wanted to sleep, hopefully get a clearer view out of all of this when you wake up.

_____

[mellometal]

Hey, everyone.

I've tried to compose myself before making this post. This is a subject that I've touched on a little bit in posts, but I've never done a deep dive into JUST this topic. I was going to make a post solely about this subject sooner, but this one in particular is really hard for me to talk about without getting emotional...and yet Dhar Mann has talked about this on quite a few occasions in the most insincere, toxic ways. I'll do my best to discuss this topic without getting too emotional.

It's about a serious subject that people still are ignorant about and don't take seriously. Even to this day, with the body positivity and body neutrality movements. (I don't know of a better way to describe just being neutral about your body. Sorry if it sounds weird.)

For anyone who doesn't know what I'm referring to (honestly, I don't blame you, as this is a subject that's often seen as normal and is encouraged in society for the most part), I'm talking about fatphobia. Hating on people for being fat. Discriminating people because of their weight in the workplace, at the doctor's office, just in general. Not many stores having inclusive sizes. People being treated like they're subhuman because they're fat.

I want to say this first, before I bash on Dhar Mann again: I'm a plus-size young woman. This is something that I have personal experience with. Your weight has no significance to your worth as a person. If you do happen to be overweight, obese, whatever, you're not subhuman. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're worthy of being loved, listened to, treated with kindness, and respected, just like anyone else who isn't fat.

If you treat people like utter shit for their weight, get some help. Why do you care about somebody else's weight? Obviously there's an exception to this, like if they're so big they can't move or they're so skinny their organs are showing....because those are causes for concern, but other than that, mind your own business. Even if they are in those extremities, unless you're their doctor and/or their family, STILL mind your own business. How the fuck does a fat person simply breathing and existing affect you in any way? News flash: there will always be fat people.

Before I get to the weekly ritual of tearing TWO of Dhar Mann's videos apart (the next one will be in another post or I'll reblog this post and continue on there), here's an obligatory trigger warning for the video analysis itself and my response: The following post contains fatphobia, fat shaming, a man being super fucking misogynistic and treating women like they're objects, and there's even a touch of some racial aggression. How shocking. Because Dhar Mann really seems to get a kick out of writing about racism to make it all cute. Oh yeah, you're totally solving racism, Dhar Mann. /s

My response contains my experience with fatphobia, relationships with food, mentioned/implied thoughts of s3lf h@rm, feeling like I'm unworthy of being treated like an actual person because of my weight, and absolute rage. Like usual. My responses are very heated. This one especially. It's LONG. Buckle up.

With all this out of the way, let's get to the first video that I want to tear apart. This one is about the auditions for a record deal. I will get to the video about a kid wanting to be a host of a radio show later.

To sum up the first video, a plus-size white woman (Krissy Elliot) is singing for an agent (Isaac) and his assistant (Evette) so she can follow her dream to become a singer. Isaac cuts Krissy off to viciously bash her for being a plus-size woman. Evette stands up for this woman, and says she sounded fine and to let her finish. Isaac doesn't listen to Evette, let alone take what she said into consideration. He continues to ridicule Krissy for her appearance, that she'll "never make it in the music industry" (WRONG, do you know how many plus-size people are in the fucking music industry? There are A LOT more now than when I was growing up and it honestly makes me so happy. There were more plus-size people in the entertainment industry than in the music industry back then.), suggested that she "become a chef or a food critic" because she apparently loves being around food (being a chef or a food critic are noble professions, but NEVER fucking assume ANYONE'S relationships with food), to the point where Krissy left the room in tears.

Here are a few screenshots for context:

When this skinny, conventionally attractive woman (Jesse) comes in, Isaac's mood does a COMPLETE 180° and he's all sunshine and rainbows. Then right as soon as Jesse did her audition, Isaac is over the fucking moon, complimenting her physical appearance, treating her like an object, and signs her up for a record deal RIGHT AWAY. Pay attention to Isaac's facial expressions in one of these screenshots.

Evette suggests that they sign Krissy for a record deal instead. Because she was "the best singer they've had all day". Isaac, still all hot and bothered by a skinny, conventionally attractive woman that he's treating like an object, tells Evette that people like Krissy don't make it in the music industry because they're "overweight and unattractive", and is verbally aggressive towards her when she does nothing but explain her stance. Isaac sees this as Evette "talking back" (remember how I mentioned that there's racial aggression? He says that Evette is "talking back" because she happens to be a black woman) and fires her. He signs Jesse a record deal and has a blast with her.

The award ceremony comes around, and they're picking a winner for Best New Artist. They pick the winner, and it's....guess what? You'll never get it! It's Krissy Elliot! Why? Because Evette became her agent after Isaac fired her. Krissy goes into her whole story about how she was laughed out of every single agency and that she worked hard. Good for her. Jesse is obviously very happy for Krissy. We gotta love women supporting women.

This video was again another dumpster fire. As usual. Like I said, with this video in particular, I couldn't get through the first thirty seconds the first time around. Because I've dealt with shit like this. Obviously not with the music industry because I don't even think I'd be good enough to step into an agency...but I mean in my personal life.

Being told by my own dad that he was "tired of buying bigger clothes for me" when I was a young teenager, despite him buying almost nothing but "junk food".

Having my abuser make comments about my weight and talking about diets while I'm trying to eat my food, despite her being overweight.

Having someone I know (not anyone I'm friends with) make a comment about me eating a few things (ONE small piece of broccoli, two baby carrots, a small handful of chips, and ONE small piece of pineapple) and said to "save some for everyone else", even though I was saving food for everyone else, which is why I took so little. She tried to justify it with the fact nobody was there yet (why do you think I took very little food?), and she "was saying that to everyone" (why did she look at ME when she said that instead of making it clear that she was talking to everyone [saying "Hey, everyone" before the comment about saving some for everyone else IS NOT HARD]?), even though I know it was just to save her own ass. I knew she said that to me because I'm plus-size. She didn't say anything to anyone else, nor did she make it clear that she was talking to everyone.

Another person I know (not a person I'm friends with) saying that I overreacted (I did not overreact; SOMEONE TRIGGERED ME and you did NOTHING about it) even though they all KNEW my relationship with food is complicated. They KNEW that I don't really like eating in front of other people. I was upset that someone MADE A FUCKING DISGUSTING, TRIGGERING COMMENT ABOUT ME EATING VERY FEW FOOD ITEMS, ALMOST ALL WERE HEALTHY, DESPITE OTHER PEOPLE EATING A LOT MORE THAN I DID AND PICKING AT EVERYTHING. That day, I was begging one of my friends (one of the people I trust to eat around) to PLEASE take me home because I didn't want to be there (never wanted to be there in the first place), I was tired (I worked all night the night before and was forced to go to a meeting before all this happened), I didn't feel comfortable there anymore, there were way too many people (four individuals plus all their staff from another house were in the house I work in), I couldn't breathe (I was either about to pass out, have a panic attack, or just start crying), but nobody listened to me. I ended up getting a bus to go home.

(Sorry about all that. I was trying not to get emotional in this post. I just needed to share how this can affect people.)

Onto my response, which is all in the screenshots below.

ETA: I know the screenshots for my response are very jumbled right now and it’s difficult to read. I apologize to anyone who’s unable to fully read it! Because this is part one of this whole subject of fatphobia (I’m making a post about the boy wanting to become a radio host very soon), my response here will tie into that post. My response to that video is vastly the same, despite not making a comment on that video as of right now (the radio host one). 

I’ll be typing out my full response here. I apologize for weird formatting. Instagram wouldn’t let me break up my response into paragraphs. I’ll break them up into paragraphs here instead.

CC (Combination of the first, second, and third screenshots, aka, the first part of my response):

 I have a few questions before I get into my thoughts on this video. One, how the hell does your weight have any significance on your worth as a person, and if you do think this way, why would you think that? Two, do you know that fatphobia is a lot more than just judging a person for being fat? Three, why do you feel like you can speak for fat people like myself with this piss poor excuse for a video that I could barely get through the first thirty seconds of the first time? 

You can’t speak for any of us. I can’t speak for every fat person because not everyone has the same experiences as me. 

I’ve been bullied for my weight in real life as well as online. People have called me ugly just because of my weight. By the way, your weight doesn’t equal beauty, and that’s what I’m still learning. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. 

On quite a few occasions, I have actually thought about doing dangerous things to my body that I don’t feel comfortable going into here. All because I had people try to boil me down to my weight, call me ugly, and destroy whatever self-esteem I had left. You don’t know what fat people go through, so don’t act like you do. 

There are many factors that go into why a person may be fat, including medical conditions, mental illness, trauma, genetics, etc. All of those things are none of your business unless those people decide to be open about it. 

No, it’s not always healthy to be fat (obviously there are extremities on both sides of the spectrum of weight that are extremely unhealthy), but it doesn’t make a person any less of a human being. Fat people are human too. Quit treating us like we’re not. We deserve to be treated like everyone else who isn’t fat. I’m not saying put all fat people on a pedestal. I’m saying treat us like human beings.

CC (Combination of the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh screenshots, aka, the second part of my response):

Remember how I said that fatphobia isn’t just about judging people for being fat? Well, there’s the “fat tax” on plus-size clothing (even though it maybe only costs a little bit more in fabric, if there’s any difference in making clothes for people who aren’t fat), limited styles for fat people in stores (making a lot of us have to buy fast fashion or have to spend a fortune on clothes that actually flatter us), not very many stores have inclusive sizes still (if you don’t at least carry max 5XL or a size 38/40 in pants size, you cannot call yourself inclusive), and a lot of other things.

Many fat people, myself included, are afraid to seek medical attention for anything (even checkups) because of doctors who only focus on our weight and not on what we came in to see them for. They write it off as if our weight is the sole cause of our problems, which isn’t always the case.

How about we talk about how expensive it is to eat healthy in a lot of places? Not everyone can afford to make fresh meals every day, let alone once a week. Maybe they were never taught how to due to their upbringing. You don’t know.

I’ve had people comment on my weight, what I’m eating (even if I’m eating something healthy like fruits and veggies), talk about my weight or diets EVEN WHILE I’M TRYING TO EAT, and it’s caused me to wait until I’m alone or around someone I trust to eat anything. As a result, I have a complicated relationship with food now.

Telling someone they’re fat doesn’t help them. They know that. They see themselves every day. People may want to change, but they either are afraid to ask for help, or they don’t know where to start. Some may not want to change. It’s up to them, honestly. If you want to help them lose weight, maybe suggest any physical activity they’d have fun doing and do them with them? I dance for fun. Also, you could help set up meal plans with them. 

If you’re not going to at least try to help them lose weight if you’re so concerned about them (this is all if they actually want to change things and don’t know where to start), I cannot say this in a sweeter way: shut your mouth and mind your own business. Because you’re just being a cunt at that point.

CC (eighth screenshot, aka, the third and final part to my response):

There are quite a few plus-size people in the entertainment industry as a whole who are/were very successful. Remember the late Chris Farley and Aretha Franklin? Chris Farley was big, but that didn’t change how great of an actor he was, how funny he was, or how much of an impact he made in the entertainment industry. Aretha Franklin was a plus-size black woman in the music industry, but she’s inspired SO MANY artists we have today! There are many plus-size men, women, and I believe even nonbinary people in the public eye in general. Like I’ve said, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. That’s why the body positivity and body neutrality movements are a thing.

(I know I implied that I thought about sh here in my response, but please don't worry about me as far as that goes. I'm fine now. I would never go through with anything like that.)

In the last part of my response where I mentioned some plus-size people in the entertainment industry as well as the music industry (the late Chris Farley and the late Aretha Franklin), I was going to name more people, but my comments were getting too long. I'll name some more here off the top of my head:

Lizzo (rapper), the Piggy Dolls (the first K-Pop girl group made up of actual plus-size women), K*v*n Sp*c*y (I don't feel comfortable saying his name because he's a disgusting person, but he's another plus-size man...he was in King of Queens and in A LOT of movies), PSY, Greyson Gritt (a genderqueer person in the music industry), Elle King, Produce Pandas (the first music group in China full of plus-size men), Martha Wash, Chubby Checker, Fats Domino, Big Angel (a J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Chubbiness (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Pottya (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women)...there are so many that I found, but if you want to add more plus-size artists, plus-size actors, plus-size comedians/comediennes, feel free to add them in the comments!

Dhar Mann, you'll never know what plus-size people go through. You don't know what we go through. You have NO IDEA what we go through on a daily basis. Stop acting like you do. Because you don't, and you never will.

By the way, Dhar Mann, this will NOT be the last post I'll make about you or your videos. The more you make fucking deplorable, poorly written bullshit, the more posts I'll make! Teehee!

If you got this far, thank you so much. The next part of this is coming very soon. I'm sorry for not posting too many screenshots from the video. I wanted to fit in my response because it's important for people to see.

Have a good day/afternoon/night, y'all. Love you!

[canonicallysoulmates]

No context provided recap of my reactions watching Manner of Death. Disclaimer: this will probably make no sense if you have never watched this show. 

Episode 1: OMG THIS IS A LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT LOVE STORY! I don't know what's happening even with subtitles but I am liking it! 

Episode 2: THIS IS MAKING ME SO ANXIOUS OMG BUN YOU ARE IN DANGER! BUN! BUN! OMG OMG I WAS GOING TO STOP WITH THIS EPISODE FOR THE NIGHT BUT I’M GONNA HAVE TO WATCH EPISODE 3 FUCK FUCK FUCK 

Episode 3: They are sharing a bed people! They are sharing a bed! 📢 THIS SHOW DID THE ONLY ONE BED TROPE! It is 2am and I am having a breakdown over these two, the sounds I am making are not human Tan x Bun are hitting everyone of my favorite tropes *screams in shipper*

Episode 4: AND NOW THEY’RE HITTING ME WITH THE DOMESTICITY?!?!?!?!?!?!?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FOCUS ON A MURDER WHEN THESE TWO ARE BEING HUSBANDS?????

Episode 5: Is Sorn x That a thing I can ship?? I am shipping it. Tan the standards you are giving me for men are so sky high I’mma be single forever

Episode 6: AKA the episode where I gasped a lot. Also Tan omg you are such a goner for your man. Bless everyone who uploads this show with English subtitles, this ish too good. 

Episode 7: Is Tan Dam? Could Tan and Bun get more married? TAN IS DAM! 

Episode 8: BUN BABY I KNOW TAN LIED TO YOU BUT HE LOVES YOU 😭 WHY AM I SURPRISED BY ANY OF THESE REVEALS???!??!?! HE HAS NO BREAKS HE HAS NO BREAKS OMG OMG HE CRASHED! AAAAAHHHHHH TAN  SOMEBODY IS IN YOUR HOUSE SOMEBODY IS IN YOUR HOUSE WHY DID YOU NOT TAKE HIS HOOD OFF? WHY DID YOU GIVE HIM YOUR BACK? I KNEW THAT FUCKER WAS GONNA ATTACK HIM FROM THE BACK AND IT STILL MADE ME JUMP I AM LITERALLY SCREAMING  I GOTTA STOP SAYING IMMA WATCH JUST ONE MORE EPI BEFORE BED BECAUSE THIS IS RIDICULOUS

Episode 9: THEY ARE SOULMATES! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT’S NOT JUST LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, IT’S LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT WITH SOULMATES! TAAAAN! Y’ALL REMEMBER THE SPONGEBON EPI WITH THE CLAM AND THE MUSIC CAUSE I’M MR KRABS RIGHT NOW SCREAMING STOP WITH THE MUSIC! TAN BABY 😭 OMG THE TAN X BUN JAIL SCENE! THERE'S SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE WHY IS THERE SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE AGAIN! THEY ARE BEING SHOT AT! TAN WTF ARE YOU DOING???? THIS EPISODE MADE ME SCREAM A LOT.

Episode 10: Showering together! Seriously, these two tick all the boxes! When you love someone so much you don’t care they left you handcuffed for hours  😭  I AM TORN BETWEEN SCREAMING AT TAN NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING OR TELLING HIM TO GET A WEAPON. IS THERE ANY EPISODE OF THIS SHOW THAT WONT MAKE ME SCREAM OR ANXIOUS AF. BUN BREAKING DOWN OVER TAN 😭 I need this episode to end so the next one can begin and I can understand this insanity- THAT YOU ARE LOCKED AND KIDNAPPED AND YOU ARE THINKING ABOUR SORN?!?!??!?!?!??!

Episode 11: I feel like I’mma need popcorn for this one brb *makes some popcorn* okay let’s continue 🍿 WHAT THE FUCK THERE IS SOMEONE AT THE HOSPITAL WHAT IS IT WITH THIS SHOW AND PEOPLE BEING PLACES! JESUS CHRIST SORN ALMOST KILLED ME APPEARING OUT OF NOWHERE! I KNEW FOR A FACT HE WASN’T DEAD YET BUN APPEARING OUT OF NOWHERE SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME. LEGIT MY REACTION:

This show has scared me and made me jump more times than any horror movie I’ve ever seen. I am so used to seeing him in uniform I did not recognize Inspector M for a minute. Tan and Bun are so cute always worried about each other but poor Inspector M he on the sidelines like ‘they forgot I’m here and we got a murder to solve’  😂 TAN AND BUN LOOKING AT SORN AND THAT LIKE TWO PARENTS THAT KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, SHOW YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME I'M A WEAK BITCH YOU CANT HIT ME WITH TWO CUTE COUPLES AND DOMESTICITY AND FOUND FAMILY FEELS AT THE SAME TIME! RUNG AND PEUD WERE A THING???? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? THIS EPISODE HAS ME GRIPPING THE EDGE OF MY SEAT AND IM NOT EVEN ON A CHAIR. WHY AM I SURPRISED BY ANY OF THIS WHEN I ALREADY SUSPECTED HER? 

Episode 12: The epi I prioritized over live watching the season finale of another series I’m watching. Peud sucks!. Bun you did not have to kick that poor man in the ribs! You and Tan acting like two parents who got caught doing something inappropriate 😂  Nah, this is too easy there are still two episodes left, you can’t pull the rug out from under me this time show I’m ahead of you, I know you hiding something. THE CACTUS THAT IS GENIOUS! I like M but should he really be trusted with such a big job? Flamingo? That should be the stupidest thing yet it works I am angry at the fact that line works. CHECK THE E-MAIL. SHOW YOU GOT ME AGAIN WITH THE TWISTS AND THE TURNS I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING

Episode 13: RUNG YOU DISGUSTING *censored* Those men are vile, her sister is even worse I can’t believe I ever even thought she was in the right, Peud I’m sorry I was wrong about you- I mean you still suck, but you’re not as bad as I thought you were. This might be one of the best episodes of tv I’ve ever seen, it is heavy af it left me feeling sick and crying but it is so marvelously done and other shows need to take note because this is how you use flashbacks and convey emotion. Writers, editors, directors, actors give yourselves a round of applause cause this was a masterpiece 👏

Episode 14: HOW TAN HOW ARE YOU GONNA SAVE HIM? YOU SET THE FIRE AND YOU RUN FFS! Who did he call-INSPECTOR M! YES! KICK HIS ASS INSPECTOR M! BUT DONT WASTE ALL YOUR BULLETS ON HIM! THIS DUMB BITCH UPLOADED THE VIDEO. UPLOAD ALL! UPLOAD ALL! DON’T GO THROUGH THEM JUST UPLOAD EVERYTHING! TAN GOT BITCH SLAPPED IN HIS OWN PROPOSAL 😂  THAT PROPOSAL WAS SO OVER THE TOP AND EXTRA AND YET FOR THEM IT IS SO PERFECT AND FITTING AND ROMANTIC I KNEW IN ADVANCE THEY WERE GONNA GET THEIR HAPPY ENDING BUT I’M STILL SO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😍😍😍😍😍😍😍