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ivyveil · 4 years ago

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Mary Me

the one where he proposes aka the 1940s installment of The Soulmates Verse, Sign of the Times

A/N: Bringing this back from AO3, hope you guys enjoy! I wanted to create a series of ‘soulmate’ Harry/Y/N where they try to make it work each decade, and fate hasn’t seemed to get the memo. Here’s my Tumblr masterlist, and my AO3 hub! Thank you for reading, hope everyone is staying safe.

The room was swathed in a deep maroon. Curtains draped against the windows, curves forming around the sills and down the gold columns on either side.

It was a nice restaurant, with expensive-looking candles and fresh-cut flowers on each table. The bar wasn’t fully stocked enough for the crowds milling about, having yet to find its balance of supply since Prohibition ended a few months ago. It was a rough adjustment for everyone, with the prices taking a jolt and the people having to remember what a drink tasted like without poison.

While the idea of a fancy restaurant would allude towards privacy, this dinner was anything but. Granted, it was a personal room but the numerous crowds of friends and family around the table led the mood towards something more lively than dim lights and slow jazz. Tables were pushed against the walls, only a handful actually sitting down, and the band had taken its land near one of the corners, setting up an orchestra to dance for.

It was a gathering, a party.

Nerves were knotted against the floor of your stomach, and despite having a glass of champagne in one hand and hooch in the other, nothing was easing the clench. Perhaps it was residue from hardships that had only ended a few years ago, or it could be the more instinctive nerves - holding alcohol without needing to look over one’s shoulder was still new for everyone. Even now, you saw Nick stealing a glance at the waitstaff, as if sussing out which was the cop.

“‘lright, love?” Harry spoke low, his hand briefly resting against your back as he came around from behind. It wasn’t far into the party, enough time having passed for his entrance to be marked by everyone already feeling tipsy, but not raising an eyebrow at his late arrival.

His suit was understated, a black with minimal design. His mother would tailor all of his suits, resulting in most of them being the absolute extravagant pieces for all the parties he threw - the magnificent ones where the moon grew twice to try and be an inch closer, where the ocean glittered around his villa and you could strain to taste the rose-colored smoke in the air. They were alive with people and spirits and spirited people, and the types who would disappear in the morning and you’d question their existence, but never their stories.

His suit was fine, but his hair was a proper mess. Harry had insisted to you a few days ago, a dopey smile on his face as he leaned against your shoulder, that it was a rebel of the highest degree. You knew the words were bullshit, but the way he spoke sounded like a home you’d never known, so you listened.

“You need a haircut.” The words came out before you could properly hold them back, the liquor having moistened your throat and disconnected your mind from your choices.

Harry broke into a smile, this time shaking his head slightly so the curls danced, delighted, in the dim glow.

“You like it?” he asked, and you made a sour face in response. He took one of the drinks from your hands, making the low noise in the back of his throat to signal disapproval. Where Harry managed to gather his rebellious streak of societal indignity, but still manage to believe that women should be held up on pedestals and protected, eluded you.

But you were still dizzy with him. Drunk in the way he said your name, caught up in his eyelashes, a fatal swoop in your chest that felt like laying in bed after a long day’s work. You were simply infatuated, but insistent on the fact that the feelings drifted no farther. Infatuation could be controlled, but love.

Love would be an entire beast that you couldn’t battle. It would include leaving him, leaving him because Mary was cemented down in his roots. Not that you’d agree with it, but she was, and it was a reality you lived with.

They’d been sweet on each other for the first couple months. You hadn’t kept up on the details too much. But time had worn their feelings thin, wafering holes poking through in the way they loved. Which was a wrong, horrendous source of comfort to you - but it terrified you, as well. Harry was the embodiment of love, with how he danced and moved and swayed into the moonlight, and yet there was something off in the way he loved Mary. It felt like a commitment for the sake of, rather than motivated each day, and the failures of love haunted you.

“Where’s Mary?”

Harry shrugged, taking a swig of the drink and looking against the crowd. The two of you were propped against the wall, as if only existing in the plane of the party by the physical constraints. If you had your way, your souls would fall through the wallpaper and into something more exquisite.

Harry had a way of making the dullest parties exciting, and you wondered what he had up his sleeve. But his face showed no signs of telling, a crease along his forehead denting in his sudden gloom and moodiness.

“Dunno. Was gonna find her, thought she’d be with yeh.”

That was his mistake, his constant mistake, of seeking his love around you. It was there but not where he expected - it was manifestation he sought, the woman he called ‘darling’ on late nights out, not the friend he called ‘love’ because it meant nothing.

Words didn’t quite fit your mood, so you merely shrugged and shifted your weight between legs. The music had picked up but your feet had been worn to the bone by running all over town the previous night, so you prayed Harry’s stance next to you would dissuade any men from approaching.

“Think I’ve got to end things with Mary, yeah?”

It was a loaded question, especially with Harry’s eyes staring into yours. It was a rush, how the lights cascaded down the side of his face and his hair was a horrible mess, an unsightly vision for anyone in town, but he was utterly angelic nonetheless. It was a weird sensation against your throat, seeing him tragic and sad, and not knowing how to respond that wouldn’t be an attempt to benefit your own tragic and sad.

“Why’d you say that?” you asked.

“It was never right, was it?” He spoke thoughtfully, scanning your face for agreement, and apparently finding some, for he continued. “It’s reached an end.”

Silence befell the two of you, yet it was heavy with the implication of further words against his tongue. They weren’t spoken yet, but you felt with one more moment-

“I’ve got somethin’ I need to say to yeh. After it’s done.” His eyes had swept to his feet, the dirty tips of his shoes from the soil around the town.

You both were misplaced, you felt it in your soul and the way you two would wrap in each other’s auras, clasped at the hands and promising you’d escape this hellhole of a town one day. And it only was proven in how Harry’s eyebrows sloped together, a defiance in the order of things prominent in his pursed lips.

“Okay,” you drawled it out, but Harry didn’t seem to find anything humorous. With a tilted neck, his Adam’s apple bobbing and drawing your eyes in like flies to honey, he downed the rest of your champagne.

“See her over there,” he mumbled, slipping back into the throngs of the party. He was still incredibly visible, a mess of hair and clunky shoes passing through the sea towards his girl. She was sat, pretty and prim, but you could tell she felt only half. Mary had an odd sense about her, a jealousy towards you for sure, but a feeling around her sphere of influence that she wasn’t full unless Harry was there. Half-dazed without, only focused on him with, there was seemingly no win.

The pair of them slipped out into the night together, with your eyes trailing behind. Mary was oblivious as to how the conversation would go, and for that, you were conflicted.

It must have made you an awful person, how the nerves crashed against giddiness. The drinks may have kicked into effect, because before you knew it - you were swaying and dancing against the moonlight, around the tables with the rest of the folk, pained heels clipping against the floor as they did every night, dancing out the mundanity of a town life crippled with the distrust of life. It would be a conversation for the rest of the night, how Harry would retell the dramatic discussion with fire in his eyes and a sadness plunging into his heart, because he always felt guilty and you’d never understand why.

You glided out of the mass, panting with how the dance took your breath away, feeling the redness built up in your cheeks and the sweat on your brow. You passed Nick with his wide eyes and bursts of laughter, and noticed how he winked at you when you left the room. The restroom was calling.

The main hall of the restaurant was bustling with normal activity, waiters dashing around with massively weighed trays balanced against their shoulders. There was a coat rack near the entrance, huddled with pounds of jackets, hats, and scarves, and a lone Harry Styles squatted next to it.

He looked up when you passed by, the hollows of his cheeks straining purple in the grotesque lights.

You paused next to him, almost dashing around to head and pee, but his expression caught you off guard..

He looked in another world. His eyes, blue with morose, opened to look at nothing. Eyelids heavy with almost boredom, but his posture offered enough to let you know his demons were free once more.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, and once he shifted to the side, you took the cue to sit beside him, crossing your legs and ignoring your body’s protests.

His mouth open and closed, his fingers spread wide in front of him to grasp onto his senses, but they were nowhere to be found. His lips were glistening, perhaps from him licking them continuously, but a small streak against his cheek made you think otherwise.

“Was she upset?” It was all you had to offer, but it seemed like you hadn’t struck gold. He continued to mime whatever words that were escaping him, but your attention had been caught elsewhere.

In one of his hands, you had thought he was holding onto his pack of cigarettes. At second glance, however, it wasn’t. It was terrible.

The fact it wasn’t, and the fact his mouth was gaping, and the fact his eyes were glassed and that his shoulders were quivering – it all accumulated into a story you never expected.

A blue velvet box, iconic in its time, holding only one thing inside.

“Harry, is that-”

“She’s pregnant,” he managed to choke out, not glancing at the box, his voice cracking in its sudden revival, “Mary’s pregnant.”

“She’s what.”

“Couldn’t break it off, would she gonna do? Can’t go back to live with her parents, the town’s too far off-” he continued to speak, words that made sense when combined but gibberish with how he stringed them. It was a rant that had been built into his lungs and found a small stream to blow off, with only your collection of stammers breaking through the dam.

“Did you–’re you–is that–”

“Proposed. Bit rushed, didn’t get on a knee, but it did its duty. I did mine, anyhow,” he said, a desperate gloominess clutched your dress as he presented the box. His fingers fumbled against the velvet, nubbed fingertips and signs of bitten skin surrounding the nails.

Opened, the box was empty. The contents were stuck on Mary’s finger, presumably back at the party showing off the latest development in her life.

“Congratulations.” It didn’t feel as if it were you who said anything, the voice too breathless and at ease to have come out of your body, with its thundering heartbeat and screaming mind.

“Gotta get a job, gotta call up Howard ‘n see what’s not ‘n the papers. There’s gotta be something, yeah? Need a crib, now, too.” It was clear his mind was far off, into what he needed to do, in the adult-life that neither of you had never quite fit into, but was now thrust upon him.

All your mind was on, was the trip you two had been planning for the past year. Harry had promised train tickets across the country, down towards where the sun always shone and the waters were constantly warm around your ankles, even in the dead of night. Maps and notebooks had cluttered your office for months, with strings attaching your future endeavors in a maze of findings. It had started out as an escape from the Depression, the one that had seemingly ended but never quite had, the one where your throats were aching for more than speakeasies could offer.

It wasn’t going to happen. It simply couldn’t. You’d never see how he would look, dozed off across from you on your hundredth train, his backpack used as a makeshift pillow. You’d never feel the brutal mountain winds with him. You’d never be able to wander around the greatest cities of America, you’d never explore all the lives you could’ve lived, in towns you never knew existed.

The realization brought you to another moment, another question, one out of place with Harry’s rant but in tune with how your blood ran cold.

“Where’d you get the ring?”

That snapped Harry’s attention, and his bloodshot eyes managed to find you in their blur. Perhaps it was an expectation, for you to ask, but the surprise against his lips, how they parted with a slacked jaw and a sharp inhale, said otherwise.

“Wha’?”

You repeated yourself, and he staggered into a motionless statue of himself, a final shake of his shoulders until he ceased to move. Just stared at you, haunted.

I’ve got somethin’ I need to say to yeh.

“Harry.” To your surprise, it almost sounded admonished.

His eyes were pleading for you not to speak. For speaking would bring it into existence, and he could never juggle it all. Neither of you could, it was a mortal flaw that ran deep into your flesh, and now against your heart, where it felt it would stay forever.

You felt compelled to speak anyway, motivated slightly by the intoxication and the exhaustion and the bitterness in which life was taking from you continuously, without ceasing, and this was the one chance to take something back for yourself. To give a bit of yourself back towards him, to offer a glimpse of the life that could’ve been.

“I would’ve said yes.”

It was quiet.

You thought Harry was being quiet, as well, but his hands reached up to wrack against his scalp, collecting at his hair and his head went between his knees.

He gave a nod, a gentle movement from your perspective, and a choked cry. It was stifled by the sudden uproar within the restaurant – perhaps another fight, perhaps another birthday, you didn’t care – and your arm went around his shoulder, bringing him into your chest.

You cried. Tucked away, hidden behind swaths of clothing that had belonged to the rich and now hung off the poor, surrounded by lights and glamour that suddenly became cheap and instrumental, compared to what you two had deserved. He felt warm against your skin, his forehead now pressed against your shoulder as his body pushed forward in distress. Time stretched to allow for you both to have one moment, a solace against the blazing sun of normalcy. It was one minute until Anne would burst through the party doors, searching for her son, perhaps having caught a glimpse of the truth and knowing where his heart truly was.

But for that minute, his heart was in your chest, the beats matching up, the pair united for a last breath.

The box slipped from his fingers and landed on the floor, half-open and completely empty.

It was a reality you’d have to live with.

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles one shot #harry styles au #harry styles writing #harry styles smut #harry styles fic #harry styles #harry styles blurb

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saturniandevil · 4 years ago

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April 2021 Important Dates

AKA my notes from The Astrology Podcast’s monthly forecast. Dates are based off US Mountain Time and may be a day earlier in the Eastern Hemisphere.

We’re entering this month fresh from a cazimi (exact conjunction) between Venus and the Sun in Aries, renewing her energy, as well as the tail end of a conjunction between Mercury and Neptune in Pisces. This is the last month where Jupiter will spend the entire time in Aquarius (23° to 28°), so if you are taking advantage of a house placement act now, Chris says.

Kelly predicts April will bring some mellowing as planets move to Taurus; additionally both lunations will be ruled by Mars, who is changing signs this month. The faster planets moving through Taurus may activate the Uranus-Saturn square that hangs over this year, and additionally all these planets in Aries are the first to enter the sign since Mars’s retrograde there last year. Austin also brings up that the planets are all on one side of the nodes, which in Indian astrology is said to be a time of restrictions on our willpower, being stuck in “the belly of the beast” (the nodes are often described as the head & tail of a dragon).

April 3rd: Mercury enters Aries This places Mercury and Mars in mutual reception (in each others signs, receiving each other as guests) with each other for much of the month. Additionally, they will be approaching a welcoming sextile which goes exact (26♊) around the 17th. This may also bring some action to us, as Mars is a hotter & faster moving place for Mercury than Pisces, which is his exile & detriment. Communications will speed up dramatically as Mercury zips through Aries (he’s starting the month in Pisces but will be halfway through Taurus by the time it’s out!). Whichever house of your chart is ruled by Aries will feel this renewed energy

April 11th: New Moon at 22° Aries This is another New Moon that occurs next to a stellium. Joining the Sun & Moon are Venus (26♈) and Mercury (15♈). The New Moon is making a sextile with its ruler Mars in Gemini, making this an especially Martian lunation. Mars is also applying to a trine with Jupiter in Aquarius (exact when each planet reaches 25° of his sign on the 15th) during this moon, which is considered a bonifying (fortuitous and fruitful) condition in Hellenistic terms. The Sun, Moon, Mercury and Venus are also all roughly at the midpoint between Mars & Gemini, making this New Moon full of ease and productivity. The most difficult aspect during this New Moon is a square between Pluto (♑) & Venus (♈, detriment) which may bring some unwanted obsessiveness. This is an active, achievement-oriented month, though not great for relationships in particular.

April 14th: Venus enters Taurus At last, Venus at returns from exile to her domain! However, she is still combust (being burned by the Sun), entering a conjunction with unstable Uranus (exact at 10° around the 22nd), and approaching a square with Saturn in Aquarius (exact at 12° on the 24th), which she won’t really clear til the end of the month. The results may be very polarizing because we may get the exact opposite of what we're used to in the Venusian realms of material comforts or relationships, as well as a re-activation of the Saturn-Uranus square.

April 18th: Sun Conjunct Mercury in Aries Mercury will also go through a fiery reset during this cazimi.

April 19th: Sun and Mercury enter Taurus With both planets joining Venus and Uranus in the sign, this gives us a Taurus stellium for the last third or so of April. Mercury will square Saturn (12♒) and then conjoin Venus (13♉) during this trip. This will likely light up the Saturn-Uranus square as well, where we may once again start questioning the structures around us and trying to jump-start long-term policy change. There’s a definite conflict of autonomy & space vs. order & restrictions.

April 23rd: Mars enters Cancer This is considered the sign of his fall or depression. Austin likens this condition to walking on a road full of potholes, with the planet tripping and falling over this terrain. Kelly describes a water Mars transit as one where mood affects motivation, and we can be agitated at our most vulnerable in Cancer particularly. Chris talks about how Mars is a planet of action and is best used when trained & disciplined to work at the right moment, so when he’s ruled by the Moon, which fluctuates constantly in sign/phase/aspect, he can have us acting on impulse with every passing feeling. Additionally, Mars had been getting a trine from Saturn & Jupiter in Aquarius up to this point, but now he’s not really in a position to contact them anymore (in traditional terms, planets can only “see” each other through the major/Ptolemaic aspects (sextile, square, trine, opposition)).

Austin points out how Mars does rule the second decan of Cancer, so this can be productive in that we are protecting ourselves, symbolically fortifying the chicken coop against the foxes. Kelly has observed that oftentimes these technically difficult placements show up as someone addressing these problem in others or society, so it can also manifest as healing these types of wounds rather than suffering them.

April 26th: Full Moon at 7° Scorpio (Sun 7♉) This Full Moon is at a fairly close opposition to Uranus (10♉), and the Sun a conjunction to it, so this lunation will likely light up that Saturn-Uranus square for us once again. This Moon is ruled by Mars, who is in the Moon’s sign as well, and this mutual reception will really charge this lunation. Austin thinks that existing tensions will boil over into massive demonstrations somewhere during this time.

April 27th: Pluto Retrograde at 26° Capricorn This is as far as Pluto has got in this sign before retrograde. As a planet that both hides things in the underworld and brings things up from it, really indicating the eruption of something hidden during the New Moon the day before. The Sun and Uranus will also be conjunct at the end of the month.

#astrology #transits #forecast #april 2021 #saturn-uranus square

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sleepless-in-starbucks · 5 years ago

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hello lia! just here to remind you how much i adore you and your content. i was wondering, since you seem to be very much aboard the logince train right now but seeing as you're still captaining the losleep ship - has brain been offering up anymore rolosleep? thought i'd give you an opportunity to ramble about them, if you wanted :) have a nice weekend! - ✨🌟

ROLOSLEEP YOU SAY

well if i’ve been given an opportunity it really would be rude to pass it up-

this ship is best summed up as ‘two chaotic fools + a braincell who is coincidentally the only reason they’re still alive’

logan loves remy and roman dearly but that doesn’t make them any smarter

not that they’re dumb, of course, they’re both very smart, they just... don’t like to apply their smartness often

aka

they also lack common sense

logan helps keep them alive and they are both very grateful for this

they all have different things in common

for logan and roman it’s poetry + classic literature (especially plays)

it leads to a lot of good-natured debates between the two of them

it also leads to them killing remy a lot

if they use poetry on each other, the other will simply respond with more poetry and it will become a battle

if they use poetry on Remy, they become a gay mess and die

for logan and remy it’s video games

roman likes them too but logan and remy get DEEP in lore for them

remy likes them a lot bc they burn their energy so they can sleep and logan likes learning the strategies of them

and ofc, as said, they both like getting deep into the lore of the games and learning every thing they can about them

they have many inside jokes bc of this that roman doesn’t understand but it’s okay bc he thinks it’s cute nonetheless

for remy and roman it’s chaos fashion

all the types of fashion- make-up, hair, clothing, shoes, everything!

why yes this does include the beautiful fashion of sweats and oversized shirts

they like to do each other’s make-up and paint each other’s nails and do stupid things to their hair and if they’re allowed to go to the mall they will be there for hours just to try on e v e r y t h i n g in the store

sometimes logan will tease them about this and they’ll say ‘but lo we have to be pretty :(’

and logan will kiss their cheeks and tell them they’re already pretty and no matter how many times he says it remy and roman never flush any less

ofc... for all the good things they share... they share less than good ones too

roman and logan share overworking

roman mostly does it on accident- caught up in an idea, he loses track of time and doesn’t remember to stop to rest or eat or anything

he does it on purpose a few times too, tho, normally when he feels like he isn’t creating enough and pushes himself even when he knows he needs to rest

logan almost always does it on purpose, sadly- he’s aware of his limits, but in his attempts to keep up with work (even when he’s plenty caught up) he’ll often ignore those limits and keep working

remy has become skilled in both figuratively and literally dragging the two of them away from their work as a result

logan and remy share sleep deprivation

logan normally ends up with it as a result of overworking, but there have been nights where he’ll just... stay up. no clear reason aside from that he just doesn’t want to/can’t go to bed

remy does it more regularly

it’s normally due to drinking too much coffee or insomnia, but too much energy + too many thoughts can also be causes

they normally play video games through the night when this happens- a problem for when logan’s also up, since more often than not remy will let him join the game and then neither of them’s going to sleep that night

luckily, roman is very warm and a very good hugger/cuddler, so if he can catch either of them staying up he can normally get them to sleep or at least rest by cuddling them

remy and roman share insecurity

roman easily gets insecure over his work- is it good enough? is it good at all? has he created enough? will he ever create enough?

he also gets insecure over his personality- is he too much? is he too loud, too dramatic, too out there? does he annoy everyone?

remy gets insecure more over lack of their own work- logan’s so smart and roman’s so talented, after all, and they’re... just them. they don’t contribute anything to the world or to their relationship

a majority of their confidence + flirty attitude + etc is to cover the fact that they really don’t think they’re worth anything

logan loves both of them very much, however, and if they’re feeling too insecure he can and will Kill their insecurities with love and facts

angst aside

these bois like to CUDDLE

roman’s naturally cuddly, and both logan and remy are lowkey touch starved

they can’t be left together for longer than five seconds without ending up wrapped around each other

their friends think this is ‘weird’ and ‘kinda clingy’ but they know their friends are just jealous

they also like kisses!!

roman’s a sucker for back of hand/palm kisses but he’s happy to pepper his partner’s faces in kisses too

logan likes to kiss his partner’s heads + foreheads but will kiss the tips of their noses to Kill Them on occasion

remy just does all the kisses. face, head, neck, hands- if they can smooch they will smooch

there is a difference for lip kisses tho

logan’s normally okay for brief little ones but never more, remy’s always good for lip kisses but only sometimes down for making-out, and roman is ALWAYS down for lip kisses and making-out but he RESPECTS HIS PARTNERS’ BOUNDARIES

this does, however, mean that when remy’s in the mood to make-out logan will not be getting either of his partners’ attention for at least half an hour

for the sake of my heart i must also note it never goes further than making out- they’re all ace, remy + roman being sex-repulsed and logan being sex-neutral. they like to cuddle kiss and sometimes make out- that’s all

slightly random but important tangent: they can all break into their house and every room in their house

remy can open any window- locked or not-, logan can lockpick any door, and roman can and will break down any door/window

this is mostly so none of them can isolate themselves but also bc remy and roman often forget their keys and logan can’t always save them

that tangent aside, a new one: how they got together

roman and remy were dating first, and logan was their friend who kept them from doing every thing they wanted to do, aka, kept them alive

and then somewhere along the way... he accidentally fell in love with them

whoops

he kept the lid on it pretty well at first

but then remy one day was reallllly tired and they kissed logan’s cheek while the three of them were hanging out

roman pulled remy away and rushed to apologize about how remy gets extra affectionate when tired and they also have a tendency to mix up who their dating and who they’re not

except logan just blushed and mumbled something about how he didn’t mind and... well... that’s Gay

for a while, logan and roman were metamours of remy, but logan already loved roman and roman’s gay and dramatic and logan knows poetry so, really, it was only a matter of time before they started dating as well

i could probably say more but my wrist’s starting to hurt something fierce so i’m cutting it off there

#rolosleep #ts logan #ts roman #ts remy #ts sleep #nb!remy #hope you enjoyed my ramble sdjfkhbnsd #i just.... love them very much\#the cryptid speaks #the cryptid answers #sparkle star anon

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whatiwillsay · 4 years ago

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DA2

DA2: love’s literature

hold my hand

driving ticket

indie record (the books beside our bed)

jail

kurt vonnegut

tattoos

lesbian chemicals (ft. Jack Antonoff)

unicorn

—

The title of this album is based off the fact Dianna is a snobby literature gay. It is a lyric of “kurt vonnegut,” and the motif of literature being an important element of love is repeated in “indie record (the books beside our bed)” and “tattoos.” The title is thematically appropriate as well, as its songs chronicle grand love stories fit for romantic literature.

“hold my hand” is an Achele song. The title is based on the fact that they always held hands suring “Someone to Love” during the Glee Tour. The song starts out with the dramatic ascending “Can” that is the opening note of “Someone to Love,” but the sound comes crashing down into a cacophony (think sort of like the beginning of “closure,” but with more chaos and more Freddie Mercury vibes). It turns into a Avril Lavigne-style petty break up song about Lea.

“driving ticket” is an Achele song. It uses driving tickets as an extended metaphor for relationship issues. One of the lryics is “And you always made fun of me because gays can’t drive / Guess I was too happy for you.” (After the release of the album, Dianna tweets that the “gays” in this lyric refers to happy people, not fruitcakes.) There’s also the lyric saying that in another life, Dianna would have crashed her car just to stop her pronoun-less love interest’s wedding; this is a reference to how Quinn got in a car crash and it stopped Rachel’s wedding in Glee. I chose the title for this song based on that Glee car crash and based on the fact that Dianna gets so many driver’s tickets in real life, haha.

“indie record (the books beside our bed)” is a Taylor song. It’s a bubblegum pop song with a somewhat ironic tone (think WANGBT meets “Stay Stay Stay”), but the bridge is intensely dramatic (sort of like the bridge of “Driver’s License” by Olivia Rodrigo). At one point in the bridge, she sings “You sung me a party / You wrote me a warm sweater.” This line confirms that 1989 (party) and “cardigan” (warm sweater) are about Dianna. The song is reminiscing on their relationship in a way that could be read as petty but is actually more so mournful (as Dianna believes that the greatness of that relationship was only possible because of their youthful infatuation, so is such a great relationship ever possible again? so like she’s sort of mourning the loss of her youth—to both time and closeting—as well). The title is a reference to WANGBT (even though I think it’s about Liz), and the part of the title that is in parenthesis is a reference to “Paper Rings” (even though I think it’s about Joe).

“jail” is an anti-Karlie song. I have this headcanon that Taylor wrote most of YAIL about Dianna but ended up gifting the song to Karlie with that Instagram post (like how she gifted “Dress”—a Karlie song—to Joe with that bridge). Because of this, we can think of YAIL as a song that Karlie stole. Dianna sings about Karlie with that Other Woman trope, except throughout the song, who the other woman is (whether she’s Karlie or Dianna herself) becomes less and less clear. In the chorus, Dianna refers to the other woman as “the crook,” which calls back to “it’s time to go.” She follows up that moniker with the statement that the crook must go to jail—but Dianna pronounces the J in “jail” very weirdly, so it almost sounds like she’s singing the word “YAIL.” In the bridge of the song, Dianna belts “143 / Remember those days,” which is what she tweeted after the Kaylor road trip Vogue cover. The bridge feels a bit like “Getaway Car” in that it has a lot of driving references, like Karlie is stealing Taylor by whisking her away in a car.

“kurt vonnegut” is a jazzy/indie song, in the style of “Do You Want a Man” by The Vaccines. In the song, Dianna quotes a lot of classic literature in order to paint a picture of a grand, dramatic, failed love (Swiftgron). The chorus includes the phrase “love’s literature” in an almost “New Year’s Day”-like reference to how their love is as grand as literature’s great love stories, but also somehow better, so don’t read the last page (aka, don’t let the story come to an end). That one line cautioning about the story coming to an end gives the song a little bit of a foreboding mood if you listen carefully, and that’s how we know that it’s a break up song and not a love song for Filippo. Notably, Dianna sings the lyric “so it goes,” which is based on a Kurt Vonnegut novel. What’s interesting about this is that out of all the authors whose work Dianna referenced in the song, she chose Kurt Vonnegut’s name as the title for this song. Tumblr sapphics take this to mean that “so it goes” has a special significance—specifically, that Taylor’s song “So It Goes…” is about Dianna.

“tattoos” is a Taylor song. It wants to be a petty break up song, but there’s too much emotion behind it to stay petty; as a result, it’s raw and full of hurt. Dianna wants this to just be about the tattoos, wants to just cuss Taylor out for putting her tattoo as a lyric in “Wonderland,” but she can’t help but pour so much more into this song—because her resentment for what happened to Swiftgron is so much stronger than just resenting that she had to contact a tattoo removal service. This fact becomes clear in a lyric in which Dianna refers to Taylor’s love as a tattoo, permanently seared onto her skin like a scar or a scarlet letter. (This The Scarlet Letter reference is another reason why I chose love’s literature as the title of this album.)

“lesbian chemicals (ft. Jack Antonoff)” is the most unhinged song on the album. The story behind this title is that Jack is a bit weird and has this almost obsession with lesbians. In one interview, he referred to himself as a straight man with lesbian chemicals because he loves like a lesbian loves. Anyways, the song starts off with the sounds of a piano being runed (because of that one time when we thought Dianna posted an Instagram story of Jack tuning her piano, lol). The song is a bit slower but still has that definite Jack Antonoff feel to it. Dianna sings about how she loves the pronoun-less subject like a lesbian would: she treasures them, admires how soft and perfect and lovable they are, etc. It’s almost like “Dress” in that it’s so undeniably gay in its lyrical content. Jack has backup vocals. After the album’s release, Dianna tweets that this song was Jack’s idea. It’s a clear no-homo-ing. She states that she feels similarly to how Jack felt when he gave that quote—that she’s a straight woman who just so happens to have lesbian chemicals and love like a lesbian would.

“unicorn” is an ode to the Blondterage. The title is a reference to Molly’s birthday post for Dianna (which is actually the cover of the album) in which she references riding Dianna, calls Dianna a unicorn (which has obvious sexual implications), etc. The song is a targeted attack on all Dolly shippers because it’s like “22” in that Dianna tries to pass it off as a I Love My Gal Pals song, but in reality, it’s secretly a song about longing. Sonically, “unicorn” is reminiscent of “Make Me Feel” by Janelle Monáe.

submission⬆️⬆️⬆️

truly incredible!!!

#DA1 #submission

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writing-to-stay-awake · 4 years ago

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ALL THE NUMBERS! *i didn’t even read them 😂

Wow Soph. Okay.

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Sure. Every once in awhile you get that weird feeling that the world only exists for you right? And then you have to remind yourself, you’re just a tiny speck and absolutely NOTHING is about you. I feel like that’s human, even if we don’t talk about it.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

4. I’m not extrapolating unless we’re close.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

My exes parents. I’d never want to meet the person that instilled that fear in them. They sound awful while also being human enough and down to earth enough that someone normal like me could actually meet them.

4. What is your favorite word?

Fuck. It’s the most universal word that emphasizes description and can be placed anywhere in a sentence. I also love petrichor and ephemeral.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

Black Walnut.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

Wow, that’s a lot more color in my face than i’ve had. Must be feeling better. Great. Not bleeding out today.

7. What shirt are you wearing?

Grey Billabong tshirt. Nothing fancy.

8. What do you label yourself as?

Nothing, do you slap a label your skin? (kidding) I label myself a normal person with normal occasionally weird thoughts who just wants to meet other humans.

9. Bright room or dark room?

Scared of the dark but I prefer a dark room. Is that a surprise?

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Sleeping. Being sick with an unknown something makes you tired.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

22? I was out of school and getting into shenanigans, but wasn’t so old that my friends had disappeared yet. Like, where the fuck do they go?

12. Who told you they loved you last?

My grandparents and parents when I called them with the results of my hospital tests.

13. Your worst enemy?

Heteronormativity.

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

Sure. I like people. I’m not just gonna throw it out in an answer though.

16. The last song you listened to?

Sacrifices- The Natural Synthetic

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Funny enough, I’ve been going through an early life crisis, and have discovered, I don’t wanna blow anyone up. Not even a bad person. I can’t handle that on my conscious. I’ve even stopped slapping bugs lately. So, that’s where I’m at.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Okay, punching isn’t death. Punching is acceptable. There’s this one girl I went to college with. I could really punch her. But I ain’t naming names cause I ain’t no snitch.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

If I had had a slave for the day they would tasked with self-care. Just absolutely unable to do anything for anyone else. Stuck in a rotation of self-care tasks. That’s it. Not even for me. I don’t want anyone waiting on me without the ability to question what they’re doing. That’s disingenuous and not what I want from anyone.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

I don’t want to choose one? But as a former collegiate athlete I’ve been told my arms are pretty great. There must be something to a lifting routine.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I’d look like me, but I guess more narrow cause that’s men right? Or something? I don’t know, mostly I’d write stuff peeing, cause that’s the only thing I can’t do that sounds fun. I think?

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

I suppose I draw and I don’t put that out there a lot?

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

People that can make you trust them with their charisma and don’t give a shit when they leave.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Vegetables! (I don’t eat deli meat?)

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

I’m going to buy friends something nice! I wanna share my happiness.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Australia, no joke. Gotta get in there before spider season! Also I have friends I wanna visit.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

Either my favorite coffee lager, or a honey mead that I could sip. I don’t care about brand. I could care less about brand, like, who’s gonna demand a specific brand from a damn angel?

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Everyone contributes. Everyone benefits.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Fuck. Or maybe Cunt. I just love expletives used in appropriate places.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

Do I have my phone? Cause I’d save my phone for it’s pictures. If not, Probably my sketchbook. The drawings have serious emotional value to me.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

The day my first super serious girlfriend broke up with me because her family wouldn’t approve, even though we both still cared about each other seriously, and even though we both would have chosen each other no matter what. Eventually you have to make choices I suppose, and she didn’t choose me. We get over those times eventually.

Or, you know, that time I got lost in the woods and thought I was going to die.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Wait, what? What’s the question here? Like Where’d I move? When I’d move? Isn’t the answer really, I’m everywhere at all times? Let’s be real though, I’d just wanna go somewhere I felt safe and comfortable. I don’t care where or when that is.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

My dog, Brandy. She was taken too early, and I’ve never felt right about the way she went.

34. What was your last dream about?

My dreams are WEIRD. But they’re usually great. The last one I can remember was going around with some of my college friends and just trying so hard to party and also trying to hide a secret relationship I guess while she made me paper flowers out of straw wrappers? It was fun? Till I woke up and remembered the part where I’m single af.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Listener? I think so? Athlete? Probably not as much right now, but I love to lift and throw heavy stuff? Dancer? No I’m AWFUL? Finder of non-american television? Probably? I love a good foreign language Soap. I mean, The Drama!

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Yeah, I’ve got a few hospital bracelets now. I hate it and it’s terrifying and they haven’t fixed me yet apparently.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

Yes! I grew up in Ohio! SO MUCH SNOW!

38. What is the color of your socks?

Black and grey. Cause who wouldn’t wanted to hide sock dirt.

39. What type of music do you like?

I like good music in any variety. I want to be exposed to lots of things. I want my friends and other people to show me stuff I haven’t heard before. I don’t want to be trapped in a musical corner. But like, most of the time I like something upbeat, or with a solid heavy beat because my mood can be dramatically altered by the music I’m listening to, and I don’t need to be sad more than I already am.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

I like both if I have someone to share them with. Otherwise, neither feels as full as it could.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Mocha. But that’s just cause I love coffee. Otherwise, I’ll go....peach in the summer and vanilla any other time.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

OKAY!!! I suppose I support Ohio State, cause when you’re born and bred, you never lose that love. I don’t watch professional football, cause I find that boring. SOCCER!! However. What even are men? I used to root for Portland, but then they traded Sonny and they lost loyalty. Now I root for the original underdog, aka Sky Blue. And also PSG if we’re talking international.

43. Do you have any scars?

Yes. And I’ll tell you the story of any individual one if you ask, but it’s too long to list here.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

Well I already graduated, and like.....Didn’t know then, don’t know now. Just happy to pay my bills!

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My crippling self-doubt!

46. Are you reliable?

I want to say yes, and most times I’d say yes, but honestly sometimes no, and I hope my close friends know and understand why and can forgive me for that.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Knowing you only have this life to live, are you satisfied with the decisions you’ve made? Was it enough and are you happy with them?

48. Do you hold grudges?

I wish I could say no, but this girl can hold a hold grudge like unopened freezer. Icy and for a long time.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

I would not, because I’d fear the animal’s eventual screaming terror at being the only one. That freaks me OUT.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

One time, I had an allergic reaction, and got steroid shot that left me loopy as FUCK. And then talked to all my friends. Every one of those conversations was ridiculous and yet amazing. I wish I could describe more than that but that’s all I got for you.

51. Are you a good liar?

That depends on the subject. Some things yes, some things no. What I will say is, I don’t like lying, and I don’t want to. And if I am lying it means I don’t trust you, and that is the bigger issue.

52. How long could you go without talking?

Days. I’ve done it.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

When I was younger, my mom gave me bowlcut bangs! WHAT IS THAT! (awful is what it is)

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

Yeah, actually. I’m surprisingly good at baking. One time, I made this chocolate toffee cake with crushed heath bits? It was phenomenal.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

Badly. But most people can do that.

56. What do you like on your toast?

Butter? Nothing? Nutella? Sometimes Peanut butter? Jelly? Jam? Most things are great on toast.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

I do portraits. Typically with lots of contrast. The last was of a girl. I don’t know how to be more descriptive than that.

58. What would be you dream car?

Four wheels. Dark color. Very fast. (Would love an electric version. Get on that scientists!)

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I don’t really sing in the shower cause I don’t have a speaker in the shower to sing to. As far as unusual, I’m not sure I want to reveal that to you. My bathroom is my sacred place. 🙃

60. Do you believe in aliens?

Sure. I think it’s arrogant to believe we are the only life out there. That doesn’t mean that alien life would smart or even anything more than a simple bacteria on another planet (Most people don’t realize that something that small would count), but I don’t think we’re alone? I just think we’re either not smart enough to find them, or they’re not smart enough to find us, or (worst case scenario) we’re hidden by our stupidity and we don’t want to be found by the alien overlord. Like, let’s be real, either we’re taking them over or they’re taking us over. I don’t have strong feelings on the subject though, like, I don’t think about it daily or anything.

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

Nope not really. Do you really need to read your horoscope as a taurus or can you just assume they’re writing stuff about how stubborn you are? (Also as a cusp baby, who’s part gemini, who wants to hear we’re garbage? I’m not garbage.)

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

I think it’s K? Maybe. Or Y. I have no reasoning, that’s just what it is.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dinosaurs. For sure. There are big ones. And little ones. and some flew. And some didn’t. And some were smart. And some dumb. And some were like huge giraffes. and some had tiny arms. And none of them made size sense. (Also when I was little I wanted to be a paleontologist, so that explains a lot.)

64. What do you think about babies?

They’re fine, but I’m glad I don’t have one of my own right now? I suppose?

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

Well, you didn’t ask anything, and I’m not about to offer something for nothing.😉

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thelegendofclarke · 5 years ago

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BIG MOOD about your sheid-madi post.. also as an addition, not only did S6 confirm all of clarke's (valid) fears about the Flame, but it also left us at the end of the season with the impression that Sheidheda is not gone, is in the anomaly, and has the potential to be the "final boss" type villain of the 100. all of this stemming from the Flame clarke was just trying to keep out of her daughters head and got yelled at for. I have to laugh.

oh my fuckinglksjadhaksdjgh GOD! are you fuckinglaksjdhglaskdjgh KIDDING ME?!? you know what, maybe it’s a good thing i haven’t watched the last few episodes yet, i probably would have thrown my computer at the wall or something equally high key and overly dramatic. i’ll have to watch them later this week while i’m high on painkillers. that’s going to be the only way i’ll be able to approach this with any semblance of chill…

actually i was literally JUST talking with (aka bitching at… extensively… Lana is Too Good) @marauders-groupie about this the other day because it’s something that has slowly been driving me insane, and i couldn’t really even put my finger on it at first. but now that i’ve been going back and watching old episodes, the lack of consistency is really stark imo. like, i am ALL ABOUT holding characters accountable for their actions and what-not, but there has to be SOME KIND of consistency and/or proportionality in regards to character criticism in the show. but honestly, there is really not.

and ON TOP OF THAT there is like zero proportionality between character actions and the outcomes/consequences vs. criticisms of said character actions. and looking back, at least for me, it’s been really obvious in these last few seasons…

i mean look at the whole Clarke vs. Bellamy/Spacekru over chipping Madi conflict… very VERY shortened version: Bellamy chips Madi to save Spacekru (his family) and as a result Clarke leaves Bellamy in the Wonkru fighting pits to get Madi (her child/family) safely away from Octavia and Wonkru. now consider how those two plot points were carried over into s6, Clarke: Clarke leaving Bellamy and her friends has been brought up multiple times by multiple characters criticizing Clarke for her choices and actions. Bellamy: Bellamy chipping Madi hasn’t really been brought up at all? by anyone?? except for Clarke when SHE was apologizing to HIM.

(and oml don’t even get me STARTED on Clarke apologizing to Bellamy for “forgetting he was her family too” when it was actually HIM who implied they weren’t and not her. HE established HER as the outsider, HE made HER the other, HE was the one who presented it as him vs. her and her family vs. his. if ANYONE forgot that they were family, it was Bellamy; and he made that very, very clear both in his words and in his actions. this is the lack of consistency i’m talking about like… do they even remember what they wrote?! in their own scripts?!? w-theactual-f???)

but when you look at the continuing ramifications that have resulted from Bellamy and Clarke’s actions, the criticisms vs. the consequences don’t really seem to match up at all? like, practically speaking (not emotionally/psychologically/mentally, just practically speaking) there really haven’t been any residual physical, narrative changing results from Clarke leaving Bellamy and Spacekru? no one died, no one was permanently injured or otherwise impaired, and everyone is still essentially in one piece. and what’s more, Clarke actually made efforts to fix and atone for the choices she made. she went back to get Bellamy from the fighting pits, she waited until her friends were on the ship before taking off, she ran into a freaking force field of radiation to try to save Shaw, she has apologized MULTIPLE TIMES to MULTIPLE CHARACTERS for what happened, AND it was implied from her projection of Bloodreina in her mind space that Clarke is STILL punishing herself for that decision.

on the other hand, Bellamy’s choice to give Madi the Flame had pretty significant reverberations and ripple effects through out the season. yet no one has addressed it at all? except for Clarke apologizing to Bellamy?? even though the Sheid-Madi plot was a HUGE part of the plot and conflict and made up essentially Madi’s entire arc this season??? but the entire time Madi was loosing her gd mind at NO POINT did ANYONE say “hey… ya know what’s c r a z y?!? if you hadn’t… ok idk… SUPER GLUED THAT SHIT TO HER SPINAL CORD NONE OF THIS WOULD BE A PROBLEM!!!” (i will acknowledge that i AM aware that Bellamy couldn’t have predicted just how much of a negative effect the Flame had on Madi. but the point still stands that, but for his actions, Shied-Madi wouldn’t have been a problem at all.) and those consequences didn’t just affect Madi, they affect other characters as well. the ripple effects were also seen in the plot: Madi stabbed Jordan, Clarke almost lost the only family she has left, Gaia was banished; bad things KEPT HAPPENING and yet the but-for-cause of said Bad Things was never discussed.

and there’s also a pretty significant lack of consistency in regards to the arguments Clarke and Bellamy used to justify their actions vs. how the narrative presented and treated those justifications. they both, for all intents and purposes, did what they did to save their families. it was, quite literally, the exact same argument (i know Bellamy was also doing it to “save Clarke” (or at least it was when he was convincing Madi to take the flame), but as far as Clarke knew he was only doing it for Spacekru, “his family” and that undoubtedly affected the actions she took later on). yet Clarke’s decision is viewed as a heartless one that she should be endlessly and relentlessly punished for, while Bellamy’s decision is viewed as acceptable and “the only way.” Clarke has been punished for her choice not only by the narrative as well as herself but also, both emotionally and psychically, by other characters. while in comparison, Bellamy’s choice has received little to no repercussions or even acknowledgement by the narrative, Clarke, or other characters.

and like i said, honestly all the criticism of Clarke and her Choices wouldn’t bother me if there was honestly any kind of consistency OR if the narrative/other characters offered her any alternative paths to take or options to choose. but, at least imo, they really don’t. it’s like they trap her between a rock and a hard place, force her to choose between the fire and the flood, and then always punish her for it… and i just… i don’t get what purpose that serves narrative wise?

there was that scene between raven and Clarke where raven is yelling at Clarke about her “iMpOsSibLE cHoIcEs” and criticizing the decisions she’s made and consequential actions she’s taken based on those decisions. but, like, they never seem to offer Clarke any good choices or ulterior path of action? every choice she makes is choosing between terrible things and any path she chooses is going to be kind of awful?? what is the point of having a narrative about Making Better Choices and Doing Better and, in the words of Shaw, doing something that makes you “worthy of redemption” when literally no good choices or alternatives are offered???

that’s The Thing about having an overarching theme or narrative about Making the Right Choices: you have to actually OFFER the character Right Choices to be made… and that’s another thing that has been driving me C R A Z Y: everyone seems to want to criticize Clarke for the choices she makes, but no one offers any alternatives or better choices to her. characters can criticize choices made all they want, but at some point the have to offer something even resembling other options or constructive criticism or else they are just blowing smoke out their asses.

i don’t know what the answers to these narrative issues are, i’m not a writer in the slightest and will never claim to be. but as a viewer, this particular, long lasting arc has been incredibly frustrating to watch and has made characters i used to love less enjoyable which i highly resent… and now there is a chance Sheidheda/the Flame is going to be a CONTINUING PROBLEM and cause of conflict and destruction and pain in the story even though it’s out of Madi’s head?! meaning that this plot point is going to potentially carry over for THREE SEASONS?!?i mean jesus tap dancing christ on a cracker.

#WELP #apparently i had some FEELINGS on this lol #so HERE'S THE RANT YOU NEVER ASKED FOR!#*throws this at you and runs away #alys answers #the 100 #clarke griffin #t100 for ts #clarke griffin for ts #t100 spoilers #t100 criticism #(to be safe)#alys watches t100 #clarkgriffon #mere watches t100

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liliaeth · 5 years ago

Text

Dutch Comic Con meet and greet

I’d been delaying this one, sorry about that, I’ve had way too little time. I’ve been way too busy with overtime at work.

But since it’s weekend, and almost a week since the con.

Now I’ve already made a post on the Q&A (here), though I forgot to mention one or two things, like how Tyler was asked if he’d had a choice, which character other than Scott, that he would have wanted to play on Teen Wolf.

Answer being Derek ;-)

He also talked about what a great dramatic actor he thought Dylan was, and how the two of them are still friends. That often they separate themselves from a crowd just to talk and share what they’ve been going through.

One of the things I noticed about the Q&A is what a natural entertainer Tyler is. He never sits still, and he keeps everything lighthearted and fun. Or how he meandered on the inspiration question.

Now admittedly, my memory is killing me, and I keep mixing up things he said in the Q&A and the meet and greet, so my apologies in advance if I do so. It’s why I probably should have made this post sooner, but ah well..

Now on to the meet and greet.

I’ll admit, I’d never before done one of those. So since I didn’t know what to expect, I’d looked things up online. I figured it’d be a line and getting to talk to him for a moment and then he’d move on to the next. (that actually ended up being the autograph line)

What it really was, is that we were taken to a separate private room near the VIP area. A place with nice comfy seats and one chair in the middle. And then a crew member told us the rules, you know, no taking pictures, no getting out your phone to record anything, no asking questions about Tyler’s personal life, that if the convo got stuck, she’d try and help it get going again. Things like that. And then they brought Tyler in, and we got to talk to him for half an hour, no interruptions...

This would have already been amazing under normal circumstances. Normally these things are for about twenty people, But as I mentioned in my previous post... Tyler had only been announced five days before the con.

Now keep in mind that the tickets for these cost 200€.

That’s not a small amount for anyone to find, esp. in less than a week to think it over. Or with people who do have the money, finding the time to come to Utrecht for it, and be at the con. (and there were two of those meet and greets a day on a two day con)

End result being, there were two of us who’d paid for those tickets in the room with Tyler.

Me and bohentastic (she mentioned it on her twitter, not sure if she has a tumblr)

Now she’s apparantly more used to these things, but as I said, this was the first time I ever took part in one of those meet and greets (and honestly there’s currently only two people I’d pay that kind of money for, Tyler Posey, and Jensen Ackles), so I was nervous as hell, and when I get nervous I get talky, often embarrassingly so.

(which is why I was grateful that there was at least one other person, so I didn’t scare off poor Tyler entirely ;-) )

Now Bohentastic was wearing a shirt from a band called WSTR. I didn’t know the band before, but the fact she wore that shirt, had Tyler totally excited cause he loves that band. (she pretty much made his day)

he’d already started singing one of their songs for her at the autograph line, though at the time he didn’t quite get it right yet.

aka this song:

youtube

(which really makes me want to make a teen wolf vid with it, but that left aside)

Thankfully he’s used to people like me being over the top nervous.

Anyway, one of us, not sure if it was me or Bohentastic asked about his new music, since Five North currently has only one song out. And he let us listen two two of the bands unreleased songs that he was really excited about, and that should get released soon.

I got to say, I liked those songs better than I did the PVMNTS ones. But that might be my taste in music. And I can’t wait for them to be released :-)

He also talked about why he left PVMNTS, said that it was a disagreement on what they wanted out of the band. He wanted to try new things, and his friends disagreed, and there was a constant ‘no’ going on, whenever he suggested doing something other than the style the band already had.

With the new band he gets to experiment more, try new things, new styles, and from what I got to hear of the songs, they’re definitely worth it.

Now before the meeting, I kept reminding myself, ‘do not talk about my dislike of Stiles’, so of course, after two days of telling myself this, I of course just had to mention that I’m one of the few people in fandom that utterly can’t stand Stiles... (sometimes my mouth is faster than my brain, or common sense)

He found it amusing and when I said it’s cause Stiles irritates the hell out of me, he told me that Dylan would apparently love that. (I leave it to you to take it as him amusing me on that one ;-) )

I mentioned some of my views on the show, mostly why I love Scott, how unique I feel that Scott is. And how different Scott is from your average protagonist.

See, most protagonists are pretty generic, they’re generally characters like Derek, or the every man like Stiles. They fit stereotypical tropes, and you see them in every show out there. (aka the broody guy or the sarcastic funny guy)

Scott’s not like that. Scott is kind, determined sure, but he listens to others. (he just doesn’t always do what people tell him to when he disagrees with what they want to do (esp to others)) Also Scott utterly and totally lacks toxic masculinity.

Scott doesn’t try to control others, he’s not brave for the sake of being brave, and his focus is on healing, taking care of others, rather than on violence or taking out the bad guys. He likes to talk things out instead of fight whenever possible.

And chars like that are far too rare, especially in today’s climate.

I was just glad that I was able to tell Tyler this, and that he at least seemed to love that I actually got what they were trying to go for with Scott on the show.

We also talked on how dark s1 is and how it compared to s3b (ever notice how Scott in s1 goes through many of the same things Stiles goes through in 3b)

Bohentastic asked him about his tattoos, and he gave us a better look of them. And he talked about how he has a fave tattoo artist, and how he basically picks them based on what he likes, instead of trying to give meaning to every single tattoo. And how sometimes one spot will remain empty till he gets a new one. he also mentioned how they hurt, esp. apparantly ones on the wrist :-)

For the record, yes I talked too much, and I did try and check to make sure I wasn’t saying too much, cause I’m well aware of how over the top talky I get when nervous. Seems like Bohentastic has the opposite problem and talks less when nervous, after mentioning that, Tyler actually went to lie on the floor to make us less nervous, he’s so damn sweet.

I mentioned that I’m primarily a sceo and scerek shipper, and you know every other Scott ship, and he said he was all for it. My guess is that he’d have been all for bi Scott. Too bad the show didn’t go for it.

He also mentioned still being in touch with Gideon Emery, who played Deucalion, which awesome. (sceucalion is so one of my fave crack ships)

He would love to have had more scenes with Cody in s6b, though he did like the scenes between Cody and Dylan Sprayberry. (which he brought up with no prompt of mine) There was a short moment there, where he talked how Dylan was only 14 when he joined the cast, I said i thought he was 15, but I’m sure he knows better, since you know, he actually knows the guy.

We also talked on how the show was divided in 3a, 3b, 5a, 5b, 6a and 6b, so the producers didn’t have to pay the actors more. Cause now they were basically paid for six seasons, instead of the nine that we actually got.

He talked about Lost Boys, I mentioned how I was sorry it didn’t go to series, since I’d been interested in it, and it turns out he was actually not too happy with it. Seems like he felt the script was cheesy, he was told it was going to be funny though, since he gave it his best shot, but in the end, he felt he really didn’t want to play the character. So for him the fact it didn’t go to series was actually a good thing.

He also talked about ‘Alone’. And how since there were so few actors on set, he wanted to make sure he wasn’t being an asshole on the set, cause if he had been, the entire mood on set would have sucked;

His new band will apparently also be touring in Europe, I mentioned hoping they’d come to Belgium as well, he said they might :-)

Probably missing a few things here, might add those later, but yeah, that was probably one of the best half hours of my life.

And not just because Tyler is even hotter in real life than he already is onscreen,and is the nicest guy ever.

Or because I get another two, or three hugs out of that meeting.

Or that he tried to sing that song again, and this time got it right, which he was so damn happy and excited about. I might have to listen to more of that band’s songs, since Tyler’s love for their music is infectious :-)

#Tyler Posey #five north #scott mccall #dutch comic con #wstr

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slasherscream · 6 years ago

Text

A/N: i got… just the absolute sweetest messages from a reader who’s chinese so that’s what this is the result of. we poc deserve hella specific imagines just like anyone else!! smooches @calling-out-maeday. hope you like it!!

sidney prescott x chinese fem!reader x tatum riley ft. that’s it …. that’s the whole concept (and a whole lot of learning to love yourself)

——————–

The girls stop dead in their tracks the first time they notice you. Or Tatum stops dead in her tracks. She’s the one who actually sees you first. She throws out her arm to psychically stop Sidney (because the moment requires some drama god dammit). Sidney is about to start glaring when Tatum, in the most love-struck voice Sidney has ever heard from her, goes “who is that?"

Sidney finds you easily in the crowd. Mostly because Tatum is pointing at you in a way that is both not subtle and also … rude. She has to let it go because … well Tatum has always had good taste, "No idea. I’ve never … seen them around before.” It took her a second to properly get the words out because you were so pretty.

You must be new since the town is small enough to have a vague idea of everyone who attends even if you don’t know everyone’s name. Just being frank Tatum knows she’s not stupid enough to have missed going to school with a Chinese girl all these years since you’d have been, quite literally, the only one. Despite this being California, Woodsboro is a little lacking in diversity.

“I’m gonna go talk to her.” Sidney thinks she just saw Tatum adjust her shirt (aka boobs) a little before she started trying to walk your way. She grabs her best friend by the arm and yanks her back. Tatum starts to pout, “What?”

“Look at her … she seems kinda ….quiet, y'know?” Sidney notices that you’re outside alone during lunch period. They’re only outside cause they were going to go get lunch off campus. Your energy says you’re outside for a very different reason discomfort. “Shy, maybe."

"Just means she could use some friends.” Just like that Tatum yanks her arm away from Sidney and hauls ass over to you. Sidney tries to run after her to stop her from being probably far too aggressive with you but doesn’t make it in time (Tatum runs track instead of doing the bare minimum in gym class like some people).

“Hey.” Tatum skids to a stop in front of you and you jerk back at the sight of shoes suddenly in your line of vision. When you look up there she is, grinning down at you. “Newbie? Never seen you around before.”

“Oh uhm ….yup! The new kid. Having a lot of fun.” Tatum laughs at your barely joke (a little too loudly. the way girls that are flirting always do-).

“Can we join the party?” She’s already sitting down and dragging Sidney (who has the decency to look embarrassed) with her.

Just like that Tatum is there to stay. And Sidney despite her initial protests, is too. You’re fun to be around and oh so pretty. They’ve both caught each other zoning out in the middle of you talking (they can practically fucking hear this playing every … single….time) just …focusing on something like how you throw your head back when you laugh or just the way your laugh shapes your mouth. They’re too gay to be trying to function.

You become a third part of a duo they’d never known was missing a piece. Having you around feels natural. Not having you around ruins their day (Tatum stop being dramatic-). They’re always hovering nearby and you’re always doing the same. You know you spend a lot of time together because they’re no longer Sidney and Tatum always Tatum, Sidney, and Y/N. It makes them smile. It makes you smile too.

Tatum loves your smile. But you don’t seem to. You’re always covering it when you do it in a way that looks automatic. Like you’ve been doing it your whole life.

It’s never really bought up until you’re all having a night on the town and Tatum sees a photo-booth that she instantly crams all three of you into. You take the first set of pictures and all hop out to see the results. The girls are wacky and wild in the photos meanwhile you’re …restrained, to put it lightly. They crawl back in and demand you make the same poses and faces so you can be a matching set. Quietly you say, “That will show too much teeth.” The girls pause in their pushiness sensing that you’re actually quite serious.

“What do you mean?” Sidney asks.

“Yeah, what do you mean?” Echoes Tatum.

“My teeth are kinda….big, y'know?” You gesture at your face and purse your lips together as if you want to hide them forever. “They stick out and that will make them….stick out more. That…that pose. And…that face."

"Your smile is pretty, Y/N! What are you talking about?” The genuine, earnest, confusion on Tatum’s face and in her voice makes you pause. “It’s one of the prettiest smiles I’ve ever seen.”

“Are you serious?” You ask, bewildered.

“As a fucking heart attack!” and then Sidney smacks her arms. “What? Tell her, her smile is pretty, Sid.”

“It … is a really pretty smile, Y/N. It was one of the first things I noticed about you."

"Me too."

"Yeah because my teeth as so-”

“No because it’s so cute.” And Tatum grabs your face and pulls you so close that you can feel her breath on your lips, “So make the face with me and Sidney. Or don’t - but don’t do it because you don’t think you look pretty doing it. You look pretty doing anything.”

Her gaze could make a nun blush but Sidney clears her throat and breaks the mood of the booth. She’s been on the other side of a look … similar. She knows how it feels. “Let’s take this picture.” You do take the picture and you don’t do the exact same face as them but one … similar. And Tatum keeps the picture in her wallet. You, Sidney, and her. Her favorite people in the world and her.

Sidney got sick one week straight and you and Tatum did nothing but pout the whole week. “Where’s your better third?” Shouted Randy as the two of you walked by. Tatum flipped him off and you felt yourself get hot with embarrassment. “She’s at home sick, asshole."

You two bring her notes and homework. Which means you are bringing her notes and homework and Tatum tags along. She’s not stupid but she doesn’t do her work in-depth enough to be bringing Sidney friendly "catch-up’s” from History class.

As Sidney’s flipping through one of your notebooks (you’d given her a whole stack) she notices this particular one’s pages are full of Chinese calligraphy. Tatum, who is sitting too close to her on the bed if she doesn’t want to get sick, sees and starts to ooh and ahhh.

“You didn’t tell us you could write in Chinese!"

"What?” You yelp and immediately go to snatch back the book. Sidney, who cannot read them but loves the way the ink looks on the page, dodges you annoyingly easy for a woman on her deathbed, “Wrong notebook! Give it!”

“In a minute! It’s beautiful. You can write like this?” The transfixed quality in her hoarse voice makes some of the tension leave your body. Not all….but some.

“Just a little.” Trying to sound modest. Or maybe you sound small….like it’s not something you’re particularity proud of. You should be though. It looks like pure art. Tatum gasps when Sidney turns the page and she finds new characters. She’s now well and truly snuggled up to the other girl (definitely going to get sick).

“How can you know just a little when these pages are full with like … a lot?” Tatum laughs, putting a finger out to brush along one of the ink strokes. Her tone is soft. “What are you writing in them?"

"Random things.” You shrug, “ I just…I do it so I don’t forget it. Y'know?"

"Can you teach us what some of these mean?” You blink at Sidney’s question. She’s looking up at you with wide, eager eyes. Tatum follows her lead.

“Yeah get over here!” You don’t have time to move before Tatum is yanking you in-between the two of them and settling the book in your lap. She points to one of them. You’re trying not to notice how they feel pressed and curled against you. They both snuggle closer. Tatum points with more insistence, “C'mon! What’s it say. It’s pretty!” She’s so pleading you can’t not tell her. They spend the rest of the afternoon curled up listening to you read the characters off the page.

“You don’t seem to like any of the food they serve?” Sidney asks one day when she notices you pushing the food around your plate. The cafeteria food isn’t great but it’s not bad either. “Why don’t you ever bring anything like Tatum does?”

You look like a deer caught in headlights which makes Sidney and Tatum exchange a knowing glance. You only ever make #That Face when they’ve stumbled on one of your very specific insecurities. Now they’re determined to know what it is.

Sidney places a hand on Tatum’s thigh under the table and squeezes, a silent plea to let her try and find out what the insecurity is.

Sidney can be subtle. Tatum is loving but … not subtle. When she can tell something is wrong with someone she cares about she’ll raise absolute hell until the problem is resolved. It’s one of her more endearing traits but it can go … not in her favor, at times. Sidney senses this is one of those times it could go poorly.

Tatum, knowing this, deflates a little but gives a small nod that she knows you won’t notice. You’ve already gone back to looking at you cafeteria tray a little miserably.

“I don’t know…” You say after a long moment of silence. The girls are never quiet for long so you know that they’re actually waiting for an answer. The fact that they’re so focused on you makes you want to crawl out of your own skin with nerves. “Just don’t like it much."

They analyze the ever loving shit out of your response and the next time they have a sleepover at your house while Tatum distracts you upstairs with an impromptu pillow fight attack Sidney goes downstairs to talk to your Mother.

"Hey uhm Mrs. Y/L/N?” she plays nervously with the end of her sleeve, “Can I ask you something about Y/N?"

Your Mother pats the seat on the couch next to her and Sidney comes to sit. She can see the worry on your Mother’s face and quickly starts to reassure her, "Nothing is wrong! Or at least …. nothing is seriously wrong? I just…. Y/N is kinda…. She can be kinda…A little-” Sidney struggles with the words for a long time before she just settles on the first one that’s most honest, “Insecure? It seems about a lot of little things.”

Your Mother sighs deeply at the words and closes her eyes. By insecure she knows Sidney is referring to how you feel about your Chinese heritage. You’ve always been that way. The world around you telling you that you and your culture aren’t beautiful and wonderful and you unfortunately, believing the world. “Ah. Yes, she can be… is this about something specific?”

“She hates the food at lunch. Barely eats it. And I can tell she’s super hungry by the end of the day. And I was just wondering … what her favorite food is?”

“Pork baozi. She’s loved it ever since she was a little girl but she … doesn’t like to eat them much in public.” Sidney starts to frown. Your Mother frowns back. Not at each other but at what they both know is going on.

Sidney clears her throat and adjusts herself to sit up straight, “Can you teach me how to make it? Me and Tatum? Please.”

Your Mother stares at her for a long moment and then she smiles, even reaches out to pat Sidney’s cheek, “You’re sweet girls. Come back tomorrow afternoon. She’s always at the library for hours at that time. I’ll teach you then. Now shoo back to your sleepover.” Sidney grins all the way upstairs.

Tatum and Sidney arrive promptly and your Mother puts them to work immediately. While they’re learning they all talk about you. Listening to your Mother talk about you is eye-opening. They realize just how deeply some of your insecurities go and just how much they care about you that afternoon. When they leave it’s to your Mother hugging them goodbye. She can tell how much they care about you. Furthermore she can tell they’re good influences on you. You’ve been smiling more since you’ve met them.

On the ride back to Tatum’s, where Sidney is going to spend the night, they finally start talking seriously to each other about what’s clearly been going on, “I think I really like Y/N. As in … like-like her.” Tatum goes first, deep breath once and then just dives right in. She’s always been like that. Sidney has always loved that about her, “Maybe even … a little more than that?”

“I uh ….. like-like her too. And maybe …also feel a little more than that?” Sidney admits before she covers her face with a groan, “What are we twelve?”

“Maybe.” Tatum laughs and pokes Sidney in the side. Only putting her hand back on the wheel when Sidney’s commands her to do so. “I’ve always kinda…. like-liked you too, though.”

“Yeah?” Sidney asks a little breathlessly, taking her hands off her face to look at Tatum’s.

“Yeah.” Tatum nods firmly, “But it was never the right time. But now ” She trails off with a smile and Sidney knows what she means.

“Now’s perfect.” Sidney will not hold Tatum’s hand but she does give her a kiss on the cheek (how was that supposed to be less distracting? Tatum wants to know as she tries desperately not to fucking swerve-).

So now they’re a thing. And as they wait for you excitedly outside at lunch where they’ve told you to meet them? They’re hoping you’ll all be a thing soon.

You know they’re up to something as soon as you see them but they refuse to say anything until you sit down. Once you do Tatum starts to nervously reach into the over-sized bag that she bought to school today for “some” reason. Sidney starts talking, “Y/N you are amazing. You’re sweet. And funny, and beautiful, and our best friend. And we love you. But-”

“We also might wanna be a little bit more than best friends. Maybe. If you’re up to it.” Tatum finishes, and with that she puts an open container of pork baozi on the table. They wait for your reaction. Or they try. The stunned look on your face makes Tatum start babbling, “Either way we made you lunch. Your Mom taught us. It’s your favorite right? She told us it was but we know how parents are. Who really listens to their kid these day Ow!” Sidney pinched her thigh to shut her up. The look she gives her is gratitude despite the exclamation of pain. She’d wanted desperately to shut up.

“You guys didn’t have to do this ” Your voice is so quiet and small it makes them nervous.

“We wanted to.” Sidney says firmly. At first she was thinking you hated it but your expression shifted to something a little softer and now she thinks that your reaction is coming form a place of insecurity once again. She wishes she could slap anyone who’d ever made you feel like this. Instead she reaches for your hand. When you let her take it she sighs in relief. Tatum takes your other one.

“We really wanted to. Just like how we really like you.” Tatum is catching on too now. She goes a step further and leans over the table top to kiss your forehead. You release a shuddering breath that makes her do it again.

So together. You’re all together and the girls couldn’t be happier. Insecurities don’t disappear in a day but they try to help as best as they can. You’re worried that one day it will finally be too much but so far every-time you reveal a new insecurity they reveal just how deep their compassion and love for you goes.

And yes love. Tatum said it barely a month into the official start of the relationship. She knows herself inside out and knew the moment she loved you for sure. She’d wanted you to know just as quickly.

Sidney is always more reserved and careful. But she follows Tatum’s lead a month later and says it when you’re both alone and you’re allowing her to put eyeliner on you. You’re squirming at how much she’s staring at a part of you that has always made you so insecure in particular. She kisses the corner of your eye when she’s done, then she kisses your lips for good measure, “I love every beautiful part of you. I love you."

Maybe you cry a little. Maybe she cries with you. Maybe it brings you closer.

Tatum even opens up to you about her own insecurities hoping to make you feel more normal. "I know it’s not the same thing and the reasons are different but everyone has things they don’t like about themselves. I think my hips are too big, and …that my nose is too pointy … and I’m not a natural blonde. If you couldn’t guess that from my totally brunette family."

You’re quick to comfort her and tell her how beautiful she is and that’s when she snatches you by the face and forces you to look at her, her expression resembles the cat that caught the canary, "Aha! That’s the exact point. I am beautiful. Just because I found some things not to like about myself doesn’t mean I’m not. The same goes for you, babe. You’re a fucking knockout and everyone can see it but you."

Maybe that makes you cry too. Maybe. Tatum has got thicker skin than Sidney so maybe it doesn’t make her cry seeing you cry but maybe it makes her hold you a little tighter, determined to make sure no one ever makes you feel this way again. Not even you.

A random dance is coming up. For what no one knows and no one cares. It’s a chance to buy a new dress and party! What more does a teenager need to know?

You’re all trying to go dress shopping but you can’t find anything you like. You go back to your house feeling put out but are determined to go shopping again tomorrow. You all won’t stop till you find the perfect set of dresses that compliment each other nicely (no clashing, demands Tatum, deadly serious).

While you’re all hanging out in the living room trying to brainstorm Sidney notices something new about the place. "Hey what’s that?” she points at a picture in a frame hanging on a wall surrounded by other pictures. This one is the most eye-catching though. The biggest and prettiest.

“That? A picture of my grandma my Mom just found. She finally got around to unpacking some things a relative sent us while we were moving. In a box of junk was this. There’s not many pictures of her so she was super excited.” You’re trying to make yourself sound casual but they can hear that you were just as excited as your Mom at the find. They smile at each other.

“What’s she wearing?” Tatum asks.

“Oh that’s a Hanfu. She really loved it apparently. Was her favorite thing to wear. It's kinda pretty, huh? I could never wear something like it though.” Sidney and Tatum share another look. You could absolutely wear something like that. And furthermore you will.

Once again they talk to your mother, “Oh she’d never go for it.” She says right off the bat, “you girls know that.”

“She’s a lot more confident!” Tatum disagrees politely which your Mother can agree on but you’re not that confident. “Maybe this is one of those … one of those one last push things? Like when you push a baby bird out the nest and it’s the one you maybe didn’t think was gonna fly but it surprises everyone cause it does.”

The optimism in Tatum’s voice makes your Mother smile at her fondly, even reach for the girl’s hand to give it a comforting squeeze, “You have done a lot for her these past few months. But this is just something she won’t do. I’m sure of it. She would feel too out of place. Too embarrassed."

"What if we did it with her?” Sidney asks suddenly, interrupting, which she never does to an adult. It makes your Mother pause and look at the two critically. “I know it’s kind of weird for us to wear them because …you know…but if it got her to do it would it be okay?”

“I think…. I think that might work.” Your Mother finally says after a long moment of thinking. Then she nods to herself once, “Okay girls. Into the car. It’s time we go shopping."

The day of the dance comes around and the girls had told you to not worry about your dress because they’ve got one for you but it’s a surprise. You’re already nervous. To that Tatum puts a hand on her hip and scoffs, "No offense but I have more fashion sense in one finger than either of you has in your whole bodies. I’d never let my girlfriends walk into a dance not looking amazing.” She was interrupted by a brief, offended “hey!” from Sidney which she steamrolled over easily. You’d conceded the point and allowed them to keep their little surprise for you. They’d also insisted you not lift a finger to get ready. That they were going to do all that for you.

“You’re our princess and we’re gonna make you feel that way!” Tatum had rubbed her nose against yours gently all while holding Sidney’s hand and giving it a squeeze (she knows the other girl is getting nervous).

When they arrive all their makeup is done and so is their hair but they’re in simple jeans and t-shirts. They get to work quickly on you. You feel absolutely pampered. They paint your nails. Give you a facial. The whole tender loving care package. Tatum even surprises you with some make-up foundation included that matches your darker skin-tone perfectly. And a blush that compliments you perfectly, just to sweeten the deal. When you ask her about it she scoffs, “I spend all day looking at you, babe. I remember everything about you."

When it looks like you might cry she orders you to close your eyes quickly and hold your breath. Cold spray hits your face, "If you want to cry you can do it in five minutes when that setting spray dries.” It makes you laugh so hard you couldn’t possibly cry.

Once Sidney does your hair they step back and look at you, grinning from ear to ear, “You look beautiful.” Sidney says softly.

“But she always looks beautiful so what’s new.” Tatum playfully knocks you on your chin. “Okay we gotta go get your dress. Don’t peak at yourself in the mirror though. Okay? You gotta wait to see the whole finished product.” For good measure she covers the mirror on their way out and gives you the “watching you” gesture that you know she means.

It takes them so long to come back you both get tempted to peak and tempted to go find them. You start to do the first one, pulling at the towel on the mirror. Tatum of course comes back at that very moment, “Hey! What did I tell you?!” You whip around ready to apologize sheepishly but stop dead in your tracks.

There stands Sidney and Tatum. Behind them stands your Mother, a hand on each girl’s shoulder. They’re both wearing Hanfu dresses and in their hands they’re carrying a matching one for you. Silence in the room, “They knew you wouldn’t wear it on your own. So instead you’ll all go as a matching set.” She sounds as nervous as the girl’s look.

You start crying and Tatum mutters that she’s glad she put that setting spray on you. Sidney elbows her before she rushes over to hug you. Twenty minutes of reassurances and cooing and then you’re in the dress. Then the towel comes off the mirror. You look….. well, you look, “It’s beautiful.” You gasp and touch the sleeves looking mesmerized. Your Mother shakes her head and comes up behind you to adjust something, “No honey that’s all you. You look beautiful.

You take pictures on the staircase as if this is prom. As important as prom. In some ways it is. It’s super important. More important than anything you’ve ever done before. Your Mother hugs you crying before you go, kisses your cheek and says she’s proud of you. Then she’s hugging your girlfriends tightly whispering something to them that makes them look like they’ll start crying too. Then you all say goodbye (Tatum teasingly telling your Mother not to wait up and receiving a swat along with a string of Chinese she can’t understand but she figures she can’t be too mad since the older woman is laughing and smiling-).

You’re nervous all the way to the school even though the girls are trying to distract you. "It will be fine.” Says Tatum, reaching to hold your hand from the backseat. “You look incredible.” Says Sidney, who is a safe driver and refuses to take her hands off the wheel but the fond look she shoots you might as well be a kiss.

When you get to school there’s no more time to hesitate. Tatum doesn’t let you. She steps out the car and opens your door for you, taking your hand to help you out. You feel dizzy with nerves. Sidney takes your other hand and if you’re leaning on them both as you walk into the school they don’t say anything. Just squeeze your hand tightly.

Entering the gym feels like entering another world. It’s not that incredibly well decorated but the music is loud and the lightning is nice. But mostly the change in the world is coming from inside. You’re nervous but … suddenly? A good nervous. When you look down you can see the end of the dress. The trailing sleeves. And you think to yourself it’s beautiful. I’m beautiful.

The girls are just proud they’ve gotten you in the gym. They’re more than ready to find a table as far from the center of the room as possible and sit there the whole damn night. Or even just ten minutes. They’re proud of you. Really proud of you. You shock them by shaking your head and smiling. No, not smiling you’re grinning! It’s a grin that shows off your front teeth you never used to like (memory of a photo booth that Tatum had first told you, you were pretty in). A grin that lights up your eyes, tear-dropped curved and pretty (memory of Sidney putting eyeliner to them and then leaving soft kisses behind).

“I love you guys. Let's let’s dance!” You shout over the music and they blink in surprise for a moment and you laugh. They don’t hesitate for long before dragging you to the middle of the floor. You can feel people staring but Tatum and Sidney are so close that soon a teacher is going to have to come and separate you guys.

But for now they’ve each got a hand on your hips and you can hear that, yes some people are talking. And yes they’re noticing you. But what they’re saying is “They all look so pretty!” and “Yeah but check out that one girl in the middle.” “That’s Y/N, right?” “She looks so good! Beautiful! She’d always seemed so shy!” “Guess not anymore. Dating Tatum will do that to any girl Look at that smile-"

And you keep smiling. And you keep dancing. And your girlfriends think you look beautiful. But more importantly? You think you look beautiful.

——————–

#sidney prescott x reader x tatum riley #sidney prescott x reader #tatum riley x reader #final girl x reader #slasher x reader #chinese!reader #slasher imagines #this is the GREATEST thing i've ever written i'm smiling #i love how specific it is!!! i’m DEAD serious rn. i see suuuuuper specific asks sent to blogs for y’know non readers of color #and i LOVE that i got to do something like that for a reader who is a poc #BITCH MY SKIN IS CLEAR AND MY CROPS ARE THRIVING AND -#i'm having so much FUN what the FUCK #in every fucking poc ask for the scream teens #i am legally required to point out the fact that i lived in cali for a whole fucking year and #there are so many poc of EVERY kind and yet...the movie?? whiter than white #if i don't bring it up i get sniped by god himself #this has a lot of personal things involved including the asking that sidney and tatum wear the hanfu so i included them #they are only wearing it because they wanted their s/o to be able to without feeling insecure....Not to be annoying quirky western yt girls #doing a fashion trend and i hope that is VERY clear in the text #as in ...normally western people (including other poc) should not wear this bc chinese people themselves #might experience mockery/critique for wearing the same thing #it's just like how no one else should be doing dreads buy black people from my understanding so ...y'know don't #they are just being supportive girlfriends in the context of this story ...disclaimer over #hope all in all this is respectful and fun because i want to do really in depth shit like this for readers of color #anyway tatum is more talented than any bitch working at sephora and these be the FACTS

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dontcallmecarrie · 6 years ago

Note

Oh my god, you're writing is out of this world - it's too good! Just stumbled upon you today but I'm hooked. How do you write so well when I can barely write??

1) I’m very glad you like it!

2) there’s like two and a half answers here with varying levels of seriousness here because this turned out to be a bit of a loaded question, oops.

Oh— I noticed the last line of your ask and my main tip is: don’t be so harsh on yourself, because tbh I’ve just been low-key going ‘wtf you people like this?’ whenever I post something my sleep-deprived brain thought was a good idea at three in the morning [aka why I have a tag for that, which, in retrospect, is also a hint as to why a good chunk of my stuff starts out the way it does]. Mostly, I’m very surprised people like it at all, and I’m still blown away whenever I see someone liking TWiFFON or any of my fics because of that.

aaaand that was a tangent I hadn’t meant to delve into, as I read your ask as more of a ‘what is your writing process’ [and this probably’s going to delve into TMI territory and I am very sorry for that].

Long story short, when it comes to fanfic, I try to write what I want to read. It’s meant to be stress relief, meant to be fun. Because for me, if I’m not enjoying it then what’s the point?

There’s also the fact that I’m very perfectionistic. Note that this is actually not a good thing, since it means for massive, massive delays in updating because I typically don’t post until I feel like something’s up to snuff [e.g. the almost one-year gap between Chapters 8 and 9 for Blurred Lines, part of why I’m struggling with TWiFFON now]. It’s something I struggle with even now, but the silver lining for it is that my standards mean I’m comfortable with what goes out, and have mostly triple-checked the grammar, etc— well, plus or minus a few typos courtesy of autocorrect and/or posting, anyway.

The other part of why I sometimes have delays, etc in my WIPs is because of the way I write. Again, since fanfic is stress relief for me, there’s some things I do that reflect that.

For one, I have a set mindset and goal when I write. TWiFFON’s meant to be lighthearted stress relief mixed with passive-aggressive spite, MoaDW was me trying to lash out [migraines suck, okay? That was a bad day], LTTR’s focus on family dynamics was entirely intentional, etc.

I outline by…well, you can see my outlines. They’re all here, under the tags I have for them. I was in a specific mood when I hammered them out off the cuff, and when I turn them into actual fic it’s mostly me venting while being in that mood. Basically, I take my train of thought, and my internal commentary, and just…let loose.

This is probably the largest component of my writing style.

Especially since it results in the sometimes-irregular formatting that some have picked up on. My train of thought has me going on quite a few tangents, and…something vaguely along the lines of intrusive thoughts, but not quite. That’s why I use brackets and italics and, on occasion, strikethroughs— that’s the best way I feel I can articulate that same feeling in writing, that ‘oops another random tangent that’s unrelated to the main topic but also narrates a character’s perspective on something’ vibe. That, and I have fun being dramatic, there’s that, too.

Plus the repetition that crops up: that, I picked up from speech patterns of someone I know irl. It didn’t come up often, but when it did, I noticed it sometimes gave his words a poetic vibe, and hopefully it comes across that way in writing.

…the super-long sentences that sometimes happen can also be attributed to that same person. Well, that, and part of me wants to blame that one semester of German for infecting my thought patterns, but that’s a story for another day.

Hopefully this answered your question. If not, I am very, very sorry.

#I got an ask!#replies #Naught replies #Naught rambles #about me #personal life #thinking aloud #behind the scenes

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parkaiur · 6 years ago

Text

self-care tips ♡

hi guys! so i know it’s been a painful past couple of days (really few months) for all of us and i know that lots of us are disappointed/sad/hurt by the results. i cant say im the happiest person alive right now, but what we can do is try to make ourselves feel better, or make others feel better ♡ i dont know if this will help any of you, but if it impacts one person, then i have done my duty as a good person ♡ i’ve compiled a list of all the things i personally do when im feeling down, so i hope it can help some of you ♡

1. take a long shower/bath.

nowadays, people are so caught up in their lives that we take 5 minute showers and lots of people i know dont take baths, but dont you see? showers+baths are places we get to be calm and get to relax. we take time out of our day to be alone. even if you bring your phone/laptop in the bath with you, you get to at least have some alone time. so scrub your hair extra hard or add some bubbles/scents to your bath and just enjoy yourself~

2. write in a journal/diary.

lots of people i know arent comfortable with sharing their feelings or have trouble communicating their feelings, so writing them down and just being real with yourself is very useful. things i like to write about are whats troubling me; i write about whats making me mad, why i feel like giving up, why im feeling so frustrated and who is making me so upset. then, i finish my writing by writing about whats making me happy and who is making me happy. these dont even have to be big things, you could simply say “whats making me happy is the weather” or “whats making me happy is the girl who smiled at me at the grocery store”; not everything has to be dramatic. ending your writing about what makes you happy will leave you off in a better mood as well.

3. write a letter to your future self.

sometimes i like to write things to myself... it sounds sort of lame, but trust me--its really fun! write things like “hey future me, how are you doing? are you doing well? i hope __ isnt still making you mad and i hope you feel better”: stuff like this is really helpful because no matter who is against you in life, you should be rooting for yourself. you’d be surprised at how much you mature over a matter of weeks or months. truly when i reread my past letters to myself, i feel so much life again knowing that the person i was in the past is still wanting me to do better. you should always be your number one fan ♡

4. decorate all your school/work documents.

sometimes when im bored, i’ll make my school docs a different color and make them have a pretty color/theme. this can also be useful for your school work: when something looks nicer, we tend to want to look at it more or find it more familiar. this will help you be less stressed when doing your homework ♡

5. experiment with new hairstyles/makeup/nail art.

i cant even count the times at 2am when im looking up bubzbeauty hair tutorials and other makeup vids. i like the peacefulness of taking care of myself and doing hair/makeup/nails can be quite calming since we are alone. often times, people are afraid of breaking out of their shell because we are so stuck on our day to day routines-- but we shouldnt be! dont be afraid to mix up your makeup or do some intricate braid! dont be afraid to have neon nails and pretty flowers on them, if they make us feel good, then we should do it.

7. buy gifts for your family/friends.

honestly, making other people happy makes me happy as well, so picking out cute gifts for your loved ones is a good way to take care of yourself (surprisingly). obviously it doesnt have to be big, but you could get them cute pens, buy them candies, or simply just write them a letter! it’ll surprise them and make them so, SO happy, and happiness is very contagious. you could also randomly send them food over uber eats and surprise them at their house (only if you know theyre home of course). i, personally, have never done that, but it’s on my bucket list hehe

8. make a list of goals/aspirations.

writing down your goals/aspirations will actually make you more likely to fulfill them! i have started writing down my schedule for the week or a goal i want to achieve during the week like “talk to someone new” or “go out to eat by myself” which may seem small to others, but are very big goals for me (since im quite shy/awkward). also, i like to think about where i want to travel in the world so i often look up vacation spots and places where i want to go. or if i know im going to be traveling somewhere during the summer/break, i look up tourist spots in that area & good foodie spots. this helps me imagine the place where im going and also makes me feel like im working towards something.

9. send cute and positive anonymous asks to your favorite blogs.

this one may seem like a lot of work, but it’s really not. even saying something like “omg i love your blog so much!” or “your theme is really cute” can truly make someone’s day, aka, making yours better as well. spreading love is the best way to make yourself happy again ♡

hope you all feel better and dont forget that it’s also ok to feel sad sometimes~ ♡ allow yourself to feel emotion so that way you can feel better ♡

#yg treasure box #ygtb #selfcare #i hope these help some of you !!#or someone in the world hmhmh #i really could go on and on but like this is a good start!#i luv you all so very much and i want to spread some positivity♡

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salavante · 6 years ago

Note

If you're still doing the OC asks, Patroklos?

So Pat is actually @saltineofswing‘s character, so I drew him, but Jacob filled out the questionnaire. And it’s super duper beefy - it’s pretty much an entire rundown of what the Threnghelleon muses are, how Patroklos operates, what his powerset and backstory is. So if you’re in the mood for some world building written by my better half and Co-DM, indulge. (My questionnaire for Wybjorn was filled out like five months ago, before Patroklos existed in the fiction, so I’ll take the opportunity now to say that I also am very into Pat and Wybie as a couple).

Full Name: Patroklos, Poetic Muse of the House of Camaraderie

Gender and Sexuality: Male, Bisexual

Pronouns: He/Him, but like with a couple of the other stranger members of the Threnghelen sphere of divines, probably wouldn’t be put off by They/Them

Ethnicity/Species: Patroklos is a Threnghelen Muse, a race of beings that were created by the Threnghelen Pantheon and tasked with bringing inspiration, hope, motivation, and sometimes madness to the mortals of Threnghelleon and its Dominion. The race of beings known as the Threnghelen Muse is assumed by all members of Threnghelen society (save a very select and clever few) to be some sort of lesser deity; in the same way the members of the Circle of Glory were born when Jovix Diocunigast first experienced various emotions and conceptualized various ideas, the Muses supposedly popped up when mortalkind began to conceptualize complex ideas.

This is not true.

The Muses are actually a strange race of ‘quasi-real’ beings from the Unknown that feed off of emotions and other similar existential experiences, which is hard to explain; they can’t manifest in the physical world and can only be seen by gods and other divine beings. They’re really more like tulpas than anything else. Threnghelleon has a series of Houses and Bloodlines into which the Muses are organized, based on the domain over which they hold sway (and therefore the things they feed on); the Bloodlines are Dramatic, Poetic, Sacred, Epic, and Tragic. The Houses are the House of Pain, the House of Conflict, the House of Camaraderie, the House of Love, the House of Lore (or ‘history’), the House of Innovation, and lastly the House of Fear. Muses of the Epic and Tragic bloodlines are naturally more powerful than the others due to Threnghelleon’s system of values, and Muses of the Sacred bloodline become more powerful when tasked by a divine being.

The Muses of the House of Fear are the oldest Muses on Threnghelleon... and are also the strangest and most powerful. They’re the ones responsible for creating the others, developing the lie about what their race actually is, and had some very interesting early influences on Threnghelleon. More about that another time.

Patroklos is, as mentioned above, the Poetic Muse of Camaraderie; he is Also, incidentally, the Sacred Muse of Camaraderie. It’s not super unusual for a Muse to have two domains, but Pat is a bit special because Sacred, Epic, and Tragic muses are rarely double-classed, so to speak. He also doesn’t know that he’s actually a descendent of an extradimensional eldritch thoughtform.

Birthplace and Birthdate: Some time in the early ages of Threnghelen mortal history, after the conveyance of a spark from the Flame of Kaer Rhûndor to mortalkind and before the Red Age that spiraled out of the Bloodbath of Warns. Like many other Muses, Patroklos was created when some of the members of the Circle of Glory had a ‘spark of inspiration’... in other words, the Muses of the House of Fear planted the idea in the heads of the Threnghelen pantheon. As far as the Gods know, the Muses were ‘crafted’ in a secret forge somewhere on the White Hill, aka purgatory. The truth is a lot weirder and more gross.

Guilty Pleasures: Patroklos is not a terribly guilty person. He is very Shakespearean (all of the Muses are, they’re kind of like a Shakespearean chorus) in his temperament and preferences, and has sort of a classical stage actor’s grace and manner. Patroklos is effectively a phantasm, a being that lives exclusively in the Veil who is unable to directly manifest on the Mortal Coil, and so he’s never experienced eating or drinking or sleeping or any of the things that flesh-and-blood critters require.

But, Patroklos is very fond of watching people; the Muses have nothing to do with their time besides watch people, and if that sounds creepy it very much is! Patroklos is very nosy, he likes to eavesdrop and is a bit of a gossip, and watches people he likes more than he probably should. Whenever Patroklos and Wybjorn talk, because it’s usually in a dream, Patroklos usually goes on one ‘You won’t remember this when you wake up, BUT’ tangent and gossips about stuff he shouldn’t. Patroklos likes to watch people living their lives and going about their day-to-day. It’s something he, as an incorporeal spirit, doesn’t get to experience, and so he lives vicariously through others.

Phobias: Dying! Patroklos is in kind of a precarious spot right now. Threnghelen Muses can be killed, it’s just very very hard to do – and not only that, you have to kill them not once but twice. First, a Muse must be killed, usually by a divine being or enchanted weapon. They then become a Choral Spectre, trapped in the Veil or the Astral Plane, and they slowly lose the ability to leech energy off of their associated domain. In this state, a Muse is not only vulnerable to all of the nightmarish beings in the Unknown (where thoughtforms are made as real as anything in the Unknown can get), but also slowly starves to death. Patroklos is Once-Dead after appearing to Ethem-Cailo in a dream and trying to convince him to return to a more righteous path, and Ethem-Cailo had a tantrum and accidentally ‘smashed’ Patroklos with Mjolnir. Now, Patroklos is trapped in the Unknown, hiding from both the Helmsman and the many ghosts, horrifying Leviathans, and other monsters that the Glorious Incandesca attracts as the Wild Hunt skips from dimension to dimension.

Patroklos is also deathly afraid of being forgotten, as most Muses are; this sort of ties into his fear of death, but a ‘Forgotten’ Muse will eventually become a Choral Spectre and die anyway. Patroklos and the other Muses of Camaraderie were mostly utilized by Ethem-Cailo during his glory days as the God of Aspiration, but Patroklos saw less and less play as time went on and Ethem-Cailo became more bitter and nasty until he stopped being called on by Ethem-Cailo at all. By the time the Wild Hunt rolled around most of the Muses went undirected by the Gods, doing whatever weird bullshit they wanted and inspiring mortals however they saw fit, and Patroklos was kind of seen as an oddball by his siblings because he never indulged that chaotic impulse and preferred to be summoned before meddling in the mortal world. As a result? Not a ton of friends.

What They Would Be Famous For: Patroklos is, as all beings in the Threnghelen Pantheon, revered by the mortals of Threnghelleon. Patroklos was one of the more popular Muses of the House of Camaraderie, especially before and after the Red Age, and had a couple of shrines devoted solely to him – an honor usually bestowed only upon Epic and Tragic Muses, and Muses that were direct children of one of the Circle of Glory. This is partially because of his frequent partnership with Ethem-Cailo; the two were very good friends, and Patroklos was the Muse responsible for helping him with the famous Squiring of Raske Callhand – an extremely famous championship boxer/wrestler and the first mortal to receive a favor from the gods.

Additionally, Patroklos was one of the main Muses who helped Ethem-Cailo to develop the Art of Bardic Knowledge ability, by which an individual can tap into the poetic narrative of a ‘real-world’ event and verbally convey it with a magical visual accompaniment. The other involved Muses – the twin children of Awnrah, Feste and Fidele, Epic and Tragic muses of House Lore – were plenty helpful and ostensibly more powerful than Patroklos, but Patroklos put in the most time and effort on the project, who really wanted to bring Ethem-Cailo’s vision to life. As a result, he is usually cited as one of the primary creators of the art, even to this day.

What They Would Be Arrested For: Trespassing, evading/resisting arrest. Probably can’t get ARRESTED for this per se, but he might be the type of person who could get in hot legal water for breach of nondisclosure contract.

OC You Ship Them With: Wybjorn, full stop. Patroklos had a thing for Ethem-Cailo way back in the day, an unspoken crush that he never acted on and then squashed when Ethem-Cailo began so aggressively and pointedly denying his attraction to men after the Raske Callhand Fiasco. He never really got over it, even when Ethem-Cailo joined the Wild Hunt and started becoming a shittier and shittier person; Patroklos sees Wybjorn as another chance to connect with an old friend, in a way, and Wybjorn has a lot of the best aspects of Ethem-Cailo that made them such good friends in the first place. When Wybjorn tells Jovix-Cailo that Jovix-Cailo is the one who ‘stole his life’, and not the other way around, Patroklos is one of the things included in that umbrella. Now that Wybjorn is free of Ethem-Cailo’s influence and is developing into his own person, Patroklos can reforge a relationship with a person he has missed dearly, and who has in turn missed him just as much.

Patroklos also risked his life to bring Wybjorn back from the boundary to the White Hill after Jovix-Cailo almost killed him in the massive battle at the end of the Hunt, painstakingly breaking into the afterlife to drag Wybjorn’s soul away from death like some kind of super-romantic Orpheus and Eurydice bullshit. As seen in this illustration. If Patroklos had been noticed by Yawg-Cherogmoth, Keeper of Souls and guardian of the afterlife, he would have been exorcised with extreme prejudice.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Ethem-Cailo killed him, on accident, in a dream – which as described above has actual consequences for a Muse. But aside from that, Patroklos spent a LOT of time hiding from the Helmsman and other gods who could see into the Veil or the Astral Plane; if the Helmsman had caught a whiff of Patroklos skulking about in the Unknown while the Incandesca traveled from dimension to dimension, he probably would have pulled Patroklos apart just for funzies. Wybjorn was also genuinely concerned that Corvicarius, the Head Bitch In Charge God Of The Unknown Everywhere on Road-Prime, might just squash Patroklos like a bug for having rode in with the Wild Hunt and being a foreign being. Corvicarius assured Wybjorn that, especially because Patroklos helped save Wybjorn, Patroklos was safe so long as he didn’t fuck around with anything too important.

Favorite Book/Movie Genre: Anything with an extremely strong through-line of friendship and camaraderie. Patroklos enjoys a good romance as much as the next person, but he just loves it when two characters have that Unbreakable Bond and don’t need to have a romantic tryst in order to validate their relationship or dedicate their lives to one another. It’s literally the equivalent of fine dining to him.

Least Favorite Book/Movie Cliche: When someone is only providing love, friendship, and support with a clear sexual or romantic motivation. That shit is scummy. He also doesn’t like when one person has a painful crush on their best friend, but lets it go untended and then dies or loses their chance and has to live with the heartbreak. That one just hits kinda close to home.

Talents and/or Powers: The Muses all have a really peculiar selection of powers, and Patroklos is no exception. Most of the Muses’ powers are more suited to subterfuge and manipulation, and don’t really lend themselves to an out-and-out fight.

For starters, Patroklos’s natural state is one of invisibility and intangibility; if Patroklos somehow makes his way into a physical body he’ll lose his ability to become invisible, but the ability to become intangible is one he’ll never lose. Even then, he’ll still be very talented in the art of astral projection.

As a Muse of the House of Camaraderie, Patroklos has an affinity for ‘inspiring’ others in ways that bolster friendships and forge bonds. Individuals may find, while Patroklos is around, that diplomacy becomes much easier to achieve, group infighting is at a minimum, and compromise becomes easy. He is good at soothing tense situations and his suggestions, as they pertain to building positive bonds/smoothing over aggression/stabilizing relationships, are supernaturally difficult to ignore. But that’s not all he can do – it’s just what he prefers to do. All Threnghelen Muses are capable of, effectively, performing inceptions on people; planting a seed of an idea in someone’s mind, so seamlessly and flawlessly that they can’t distinguish it from their own idea, is the truest and most sinister power of a Threnghelen Muse, and Patroklos has used this power to his advantage and the advantage of Ethem-Cailo liberally in the halcyon days of Threnghelleon’s society. A Muse’s silver (golden) tongue is nothing to underestimate. At their most powerful they could even ‘inspire’ oh, I don’t know, the most powerful and Glorious god in the universe...

Otherwise, Patroklos has a minor ability to manipulate certain probabilities; he can influence events to maximize the amount of ‘camaraderie’ that is displayed by the individuals involved, such as altering the path of a bullet just enough to keep someone from dying in the act of sacrificing themselves for another, or ensuring that a strike made to avenge or protect a fallen comrade hits true. He could influence the ease with which someone rushing to the aide of a friend or loved one arrives at their destination, or keep someone with ill intentions (or bad timing!) from screwing up a tender moment between friends by impeding their progress. This power is relatively weak and can be easily superseded by more powerful divine domains – such as Glory’s ability to never lose, or Derog’s influence on the outcome of a conflict, or Ethem-Cailo’s ability to ensure someone achieves their aspirations. But this particular ability skyrockets in effectiveness when he is tasked by a divine being... which is why he and Wybjorn/Ethem-Cailo made such a good team.

Patroklos is capable of appearing to people in dreams and, while doing so, can control their level of lucidity and what they do or don’t remember about what occurs while he’s visiting – as I mentioned earlier, he starts a lot of really catty gossip digressions with ‘You won’t remember I said this when you wake up, BUT–‘.

When it comes to stuff that doesn’t have to do with his House or Bloodlines, Patroklos is an incredibly powerful teleporter – he can teleport almost indefinite ranges across spacetime and, more impressively, interdimensionally. Patroklos teleported from The Veil outside of Road Prime all the way to the Threnghelen afterlife without making a pit-stop in the Threnghelen mortal coil, which is an extremely difficult and precision jump that he was able to pull off (there and back, in fact) intuitively, without assistance, and without screwing up.

(Fun fact: when a Threnghelen muse teleports, their body goes first, and their eyes and teeth go last – so for a moment as their body fades away like a ghost, their giant golden eyes and teeth remain hanging in midair before they, too, disappear.)

Patroklos is technically a race of being native to the Unknown, and not hailing from any particular planar cluster; as a result he has an innate knowledge of how to travel in the Unknown. Which might not sound very impressive, but consider: the Unknown is a literal nonsense place, where the laws of physics conditionally rely on the perception of the individuals moving through it. The Unknown works off of dream logic and is endless. If you get lost in the Unknown, you are doomed to wander aimlessly forever until you forget who you are, where you came from, and what you were doing in the first place. So, the ability to intuitively find your way in the Unknown is an absolute necessity to traversing it.

Touching on the above, Patroklos can also just... make people get lost. He discovered this ability while hiding from monsters in the Unknown. You could be standing in your front yard and walk to the mailbox... and then you’d find yourself saddled with the unsettling horizontal vertigo of not knowing where you are or where to go, and wander the perimeter of your lawn for an hour and a half until the fugue state wore off and everything was suddenly familiar again.

Patroklos is also a talented shapeshifter, capable of transforming into a near-flawless imitation of any person that he has seen before, regardless of how much taller or shorter they are (within reason); he can also mimic voices so long as he’s heard them, and although it’s not part of the power set Patroklos is a naturally gifted mimic – he’s good at picking up body language, verbal and physical tics, and mannerisms, and that’s just a personal trait of his. The one problem with his powers: no matter who he changes into, his insides will always be made of gold. This is an ability that didn’t see much play back when the Muses were confined to Threnghelleon, but out in the Unknown any advantage is an advantage. Patroklos does have a ‘True Form’, additionally; it’s something rather terrifying, to the point that Patroklos explicitly told Wybjorn not to look at him while he tore his way into the White Hill to save his soul from crossing over. Based on the horrific ripping, grinding, and clicking noises, Wybjorn gauged later that obeying this request was the right choice.

(We’re almost done here, I promise, but I’m a perfectionist with this stuff.)

As long as Patroklos is in a spectral form, he is actually capable of possessing a mortal or a weak enough divine being or manifested spirit. It’s a difficult thing to maintain, and he can’t do any of his other tricks while possessing someone, but even in his current state it’s very doable.

LASTLY, Patroklos is one of the best in the game at utilizing Bardic Knowledge. By invoking Bardic Knowledge, Patroklos is capable of tapping into the ‘narrative’ of an event, a conflict, or the history of a person/place/thing. In this way Patroklos has a sort of limited omniscience; he can ‘feel out’ how things are going to go, or why things have happened, especially as it pertains to interpersonal conflict between friends. Like a lot of stuff that is related to or touched by the Unknown, Patroklos is very good at Knowing Things He Shouldn’t as a general sense, but it has a lot to do with the choral element of his being and his Bardic Knowledge – the narrator needs to know a lot of what is going on, and when Patroklos inhabits the role of the Unseen Narrator he can grasp the narrative in a very complete way, even if he isn’t completely omniscient. This is also helped by his ability to invisibly watch people from the Veil and his ability to move from place to place almost instantaneously.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Patroklos is unfalteringly loyal, has a great (if slightly strange) sense of humor, and is extremely supportive and optimistic. He’s really FUNNY. He’s got a rapier wit and has a very complex grasp of wordplay and humor. He’s very charming and crafty, but he is not very pretentious or self-inflated and is quite humble. In familiar company he’s boisterous and fun-loving, even if he’s a little shy around new people. He’s very good at conveying information and loves to tell stories. Patroklos has big theatre kid energy, he’s very dramatic and playful. He tends to be very earnest, is open with his feelings, and listens very well, but he’s not blunt and does his best to phrase things positively instead of negatively.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Patroklos is a HUGE gossip. A detrimentally huge gossip. Although I think he could keep his lip zipped if somebody told him some kind of huge secret I think he would have a really hard time keeping it to himself. Patroklos usually gets away with this because he can make people forget the stuff he tells them but that’s only when he’s invaded somebody’s dreams. The downside to him having a very open and earnest personality is that he doesn’t hide his feelings well, which can be problematic if he’s also too shy or humble or nervous to voice an issue he has. He’s kind of noisy, which can rub people the wrong way – not everybody has a high tolerance for loud and high-energy people. He also goes through moods where he can be very eldritch and strange, displaying his fickle and fae nature and doing weird shit just to amuse himself (‘Here, hold this’, he says apropos of nothing, and pulls a live centipede out of his coat and hands it to you). He is absolutely the type of person who points and laughs when somebody does something dumb or embarrassing and wouldn’t be above talking circles around someone because It’s Funny.

How They Change: Patroklos has gotten quieter, for sure. He’s matured a lot after his ordeals in the Unknown, and although he hasn’t lost his goofy side he has become much more mild-mannered and melancholy. He’s also taken quite a hit to his bravery; I wouldn’t call him a coward, but he’s become much more practical and keen to avoid fights, for obvious reasons. When he lived on Threnghelleon he was very immersed in their culture, and since being trapped in the Unknown his strange side has really taken over. Patroklos doesn’t really miss his home, although he does miss some of his siblings and the people he was friends with. Overall, though, Patroklos is a very new character; I only created him about halfway through the campaign when we were kinda fishing for more content to stretch it out with. How he’s going to change is largely contingent on how he’s treated and what happens to him; Wybjorn is going to go on a very romantic quest to figure out a way to return him to life, so I’m sure that will also have an effect on him.

Why You Love Them: Patroklos is just a lot of fun! He’s kind of swashbuckling and dramatic – all the Muses are named after Shakespeare characters, and I did it on purpose to inform the kind of feel I wanted them to have. They’re kind of meant to evoke that strange, ethereal, fun weirdness that some of that old theatre stuff is so rife with. I also really enjoy playing around with his weird-ass powers and his nebulous, lovecraftian undertones and behaviors. Patroklos is also a really cool character to bounce Wybjorn off of, he brings out certain qualities in Wybjorn that I think are a bit underplayed when Wybjorn is in other situations where he’s not the main character and provides a very interesting pathos to play around with between these two ancient beings that, in some ways, have wrapped all the way back around again to young men.

#solrika

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rosesisupposes · 6 years ago

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Destined, part 24

aka Trumpets Sound

Character Tags: Virgil/Anixety ; Patton/Creativity ; Patton/Morality ; Logan/Logic ; Remy/Sleep ; Dante/Deceit

Chapter Pairings: Prinxiety

Chapter Warnings: Death threats, Arguing, Raging Against The Machine

Reader Tags: @residentanchor @royally-anxious @bewarethegrammarpolice @nightmarebeforevirgil @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby @sparkly-rainbow-salt

Summary: After centuries of acting as an oracle to heroes, quest-seekers, and villains alike, Virgil just wants to live as a normal, modern human. For someone who can see infinite probabilities, you’d think he’d know better.

<<Chapter 23 | Masterlist | Chapter 25>>

read on ao3

The days after their second encounter with the sorcerer had been… odd. Virgil felt as if he was floating, suddenly detached from all the nervous energy that had plagued his life since that first collision on the sidewalk. He smiled at every customer in the bakafé, helped decorate pastries with Joan and Talyn, and spent every evening on his couch or Roman’s, curled up with his boyfriend as they watched shows and movies together. Well, they mostly watched. They’d had to replay a couple of episodes due to getting distracted.

The only mar on the golden haze of post-Dante life was the possibility of punishment from the Sages. Virgil had gone against so much of the Law, he’d completely obliterated the bounds of what they’d even known to make rules against. But Sages’ idea of time, especially from within the ether, was approximate at best. When Virgil had attempted to explain it to Patton and Logan, the latter had nodded gravely and said “Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey.” Virgil was still very confused by this, but Roman had simply laughed at his confusion and told him the explanation was on their watch list.

For the first time in his life, though, someone else was more nervous than Virgil. Roman had become prone to bouts of pacing back and forth and as he tried to brainstorm ways for his rescuer and boyfriend to evade judgment and punishment altogether. After Dante’s defeat, though, Virgil’s fear of the Law of Sages had evaporated, and with it, all of his inclination to flee the consequences. He did not want to die, nor did he want to be forced to leave Roman’s side after all they’d survived together. But he did want to look his brethren in the face and ask them why .

The waiting was the hard part, not knowing when, if ever, the Sages would summon him. It might take them months or even years to notice the disturbance and find the right alignment to pull him into the ether. They might miss it entirely and his judgment wouldn’t come until he’d lived his entire lifetime out as Virgil and returned to the ether naturally. All he knew was that he wanted to spend as much time with his friends and Roman as he could until he was pulled away.

Currently, he was reclining while half on top of his gorgeous boyfriend watching Parks and Recreation. He loved listening to the man’s musical laugh, feeling his chest dance up and down, even if it moved his head quite a lot as a result. He looked up at Roman’s bright hazel eyes, deliciously soft auburn hair, and cheeks that were slightly flushed from merriment. The wave of affection he felt looking at him was intoxicating like nothing he’d ever experienced, not in all his years. As the episode ended, he sat up and paused it. Roman looked over quizzically, still smiling. Virgil smiled back. “I want to keep watching, I just got distracted by you, Ro. I hope you know just how amazing you are. You’re all things bright and delightful and beautiful, and I just… there’s no reason to wait to say it. Roman Augustus, I-”

A sudden burst of white light filled the room. Winds whipped past Roman’s face as tendrils of pearly magic surrounded the violet-haired man sitting half-in, half-out of his lap. He reached for his hand, panicking, but his grasp met with nothingness. The light faded as suddenly as it had appeared. Virgil was gone.

One moment he was on a couch, the next he was toppling to his knees in the middle of a white room, or was it an empty plane? There was a distinct sense of walls and roof and benches, but without limitations or physical boundaries. Virgil stuck out like a bear in a puddle, all purple and black in a space that was perfectly sterile and bare.

Not to mention, he was the only being in the space with a physical manifestation.

Ranks of Sages stared down at him, some with slight features and humanoid shapes on their glowing forms, some nothing more than amorphous nimbuses of light. One light shown a little brighter than the rest, the mark of a Sage who had spent eons in the ether. Yet she retained a clearly human and female form, enough for Virgil to recognize her. It was Cassandra, the fabled Seer cursed to be disbelieved in her accurate predictions. After her despicable treatment at the hands of the humans in her one lifetime on earth, she had retreated her to make sure there was always an experienced Sage able to observe from afar.

Time had not sweetened her mood towards the denizens of Earth, however. “Sage, you have disobeyed us,” she threw the words like spears as she advanced towards Virgil. “You have turned our Law upon its head, made a mockery of our ways. And for what?”

Well, that’s how it’s going to be, I guess, Virgil thought. It’s not like he could lie to a room of omniscient beings. “To save my friends. To prevent a sorcerer from attempting to enslave humanity.”

“You flout the tenets of our brethren for humans. You risk eternity for a blink in time?” Cassandra’s voice was all icy distaste, as if Virgil’s actions were a cowpat he’d caused her to step in.

“For all of humanity and the remaining magic folk, Elder Cassandra. The possibilities were clear - the sorcerer’s intent was the dramatically alter the world as a whole, and enslave or kill all who interfered.”

“Oh, well, if only we’d realized the world might change, then the utter disregard of the entirety of our existence would be perfectly satisfactory,” Cassandra said scathingly. “My fellow Elders, I hardly think a full trial and deliberation is necessary. Surely we can all see that there was a reason that this Sage remained in the world when his brethren all returned here, to our true home. He is a traitor to our order and our Law, and only severance and cessation can answer such crimes.”

Virgil shivered and looked down. How casually and easily she advocated for a permanent death sentence.

“Cassandra, surely you of all people would agree that in this case of all cases we must follow the full procedure of trial. It wouldn’t do to disregard part of the Law, even if we did all agree that this young one’s broken all of it. Which I do not, I might add.” Another form piped up from the benches to Virgil’s right. As he made eye contact, the form of an old Welsh woman smiled toothily back at him. “Hello, dearie. It’s ‘Virgil’ at the moment, hm?” He nodded silently. “Very good. The name I went by was Agnes, Agnes Nutter. And I want to hear the boy speak for himself,” she shot back at the tower of glowing fury that was Cassandra.

Other forms murmured and nodded along with Agnes’ statement. Virgil felt the knot in his stomach ease slightly. Cassandra would not determine his fate alone. That was some comfort, at least.

Another voice, this one vaguely male but otherwise nondescript, spoke. “I hereby call this Trial of Sages to order. The Sage currently known as Virgil is charged with open defiance of the Law. He will be given a chance to defend his actions and take questions from the Elders. The Elders will then deliberate and pick a suitable sentence. Virgil, you may begin.”

Virgil stood and walked to the center of the room, or perhaps he walked just a few steps forward in the empty space. A podium that wasn’t quite physical but that still had a solid presence appeared under his hands. He was glad there was no moisture here, or his palms would definitely be sweating with nerves.

“Esteemed Sages, Reverent Elders. I am before you today not because I have directly and deliberately gone against our Law, but because I have caused a situation that is not addressed in our code. For those who did not See the particulars, I learned, in the heat of the moment, that not only could I See a wide-open, unlimited future by reading my own destiny, I could physically change the present by enacting change in the past.”

The murmurs among the crowds became a rumble. Clearly, the information had not been widely spread. Seeing Cassandra’s glare from where she’d resumed her seat at the center of the crowd, Virgil suspected he knew why.

“At first this change seemed to only apply to objects - if someone had made a choice regarding an inanimate thing, I could shift that choice so that the same materials had been made in another way, or into another thing. The essence remained the same - I did not create or destroy any matter. But despite not being sure it would work, I attempted to do the same with a living thing - a magical being. A sorcerer. One who I had divined for in a previous life. One who had made many choices that lead to the several repeat encounters I experienced in these last few weeks of human time. Despite having been told my whole existence that altering time was impossible, I was able to channel the ether and the potential energy of unchosen possibilities to send him back to a crux within his own life. He disappeared from the timeline I was in, then, and I can only assume this means he chose differently.”

He paused as the murmurs grew louder. He couldn’t really understand them, given there there were at least fifty voices speaking at once, but he caught snippets.

“...highly unorthodox…”

“absolutely unheard of…”

“...the implications!”

“...surely a fluke…”

“...what else don’t we know?”

One form stood. It was particularly amorphous and featureless, and had a voice that could only be described as ‘blue,’ but couldn’t be pinned to any existing conception of gender. “We speak for everyone when we say - how could this be possible? How could one lone Sage spontaneously acquire an ability that none of us knew about? And if he did not spontaneously acquire this, how long have we all been capable of such a thing?”

Agnes continued as the first form sat, or lowered itself, again. “And indeed, if we have had this ability, how could we all have been blind to it? Is Virgil here the first to even attempt such a thing? He and his cohort from Delphi have been in existence for three and a half millennia. Surely there has been at least one other Sage who has made a similar attempt.”

Cassandra stood. “Elders, these questions are meaningless. Even if such an ability were widespread among our brethren, to use it would still be in defiance of our Law. This renegade, who has already rejected his brethren through his reckless manifestation, only proves that any of our order who attempt such drastic actions deserve none of our powers nor responsibilities. He is a threat to our way of existence, and should be dealt with as such.”

“Cassy, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you did know about this,” Virgil interrupted. “You seem remarkably unshaken about a revelation that has every other Sage here in a tizzy. I’m sure that the great and wise Cassandra would never deliberately conceal such information from her brethren, though, so I must be mistaken in noting your odd reaction.”

The ancient seer glared at him. The same weird boldness he’d had facing down Dante was fizzing in his veins. His heart was beating at a familiarly high rate, but instead of his usual flight or freeze, his body and mind had apparently agreed on fight. There was no deliberation in his words - they just poured out in a raging river of consciousness as he puzzled through the ancient being’s reaction.

“Really, it seems inconceivable that the oldest Sage, the only one who’s been continuously in the ether for hundreds of centuries straight, would have found out about such a dramatic revelation in Sagedom and not have shared it. Unless, maybe, you had a reason not to want us all to know. A grudge, perhaps. A resentment of all earthly creatures? Is that too harsh? I’m gonna say no, it’s not - it’s accurate. You don’t want Sages to be able to change things, because with change comes the chance for improvement. And if we could improve things, we could help humanity. We could give them chances to make better choices. But if the goodness in humanity is just a choice away, then your assumptions have been wrong, all this time.”

If Cassandra had been manifested, she would have been turning white. As it was, her form was almost vibrating with anger, and she was tensed to advance towards Virgil. He kept going, relentless. “It turns out neither magical nor nonmagical mortals are inherently wicked, as you’ve told us all since your last cessation. They just have the potential to be so.

“If they’re not guaranteed bad, then it was just those human who chose to hurt you, and if we can change their choices, then there’s a chance that your pain could have been avoided entirely. And that possibility just terrifies you, doesn’t it-”

Somewhere as he’d been speaking, Cassandra had come up directly in front of him, which he became instantly aware of as her very solid hand connected with his right cheek.

“Don’t you ever presume to know how I feel, boy. You speak of things you cannot ever understand.” Her voice was tight with fury.

Virgil’s face stung, but so did his conscience. He’d gone too far. Cassandra had endured some of the absolute worst treatment at the hands of humanity that anyone could be subjected to. He couldn’t pass judgment on how she coped. That wasn’t what any of this was about.

“I… you’re right, Cassandra. My words were uncalled for. I apologize.”

The prophetess returned his look and nodded grudgingly, then turned on her heel and returned to her spot among the rest of the Sages.

“Brethren,” Virgil spoke, his voice ringing in the endless space and bouncing off the suggestion of walls, “my real question is this: regardless of if there was one of us who knew of this ability, why didn’t we all know? Why is it so rare that any of us has actually tried to use this power? We have all seen terrible choices and terrible futures, and many of us have had to watch as those choices were made and those futures became the present. Why did I only every try to do something about it now? Why have we all spent so long as observers without ever trying to act?”

There were one or two whispers, but the crowd of Sages had largely gone silent. Was it guilt? Confusion? Contemplation? Probably a bit of all three.

“Our Law served a very needed purpose when we first made it. We wanted to correct the mistakes we made at Delphi. Over and over again, we had been too much part of the narrative. We and our prophecies were too often the crux of the future. So we learned, and adapted. We said we would remain on the sidelines - looking only, telling only. Embracing the vagueness to avoid deliberately misleading any Seekers. Pre-empting any prejudice against Seekers by instituting one invocation for all. All our intentions were good.” Virgil took a deep breath. He couldn’t remember a single time in his existence where he’d spoken so much while so many beings watched. Granted, not all of them had eyes, but if they did, every pair would have been glued to him.

“But as we all know, intentions aren’t enough. By being so adamant that we should not interfere, we were preventing ourselves from knowing if we could. It turns out that we have the power to enact change, to give second and third chances, to alter the present by influencing the past. I’ve done so, now. I don’t know that everything affected by that change is better now that it was before, but I do know that it removed a threat to humanity on the large and small scales, and I believe it was the right choice. I accept that I went against the intent of our Law. But I ask what we hope to accomplish with any of this?” He looked around at the ranks of glowing forms. All was silence, except for his voice and its echo in the endless space of the ether. “Because for centuries upon centuries, I’ve been telling destinies and then just...watching them happen. Favorable or unfortunate, good or evil, it’s all been effectively the same. Yes, I’ve been troubled when I’ve encountered a Seeker with particularly harmful intent. The heirs of kingdoms who planned vast crusades, the knights hoping to slay peaceful dragons, the ambitious and the dastardly, all of them. I was troubled by their plans. Maybe even concerned. But what did I do differently? Nothing. I followed our Law. I did my job, and let them go on their ways. We aren’t amoral beings, nor are we apathetic. If we know this, and still force ourselves to treat good and evil, justice and cruelty, benevolence and tyranny, all equally - what is our purpose?”

The emptiness stretched on and on as the last echoes of Virgil’s voice faded. The air was thick with his question and all the uncertainty it had brought to light. Glowing forms turned and exchanged glances, but no one seemed prepared to speak. Long moments passed without a sound.

It was Cassandra who finally broke the silence. “Our purpose is to be receptacles of knowledge of the future. We are not actors. Where we went wrong was manifestation. We are best here, in the ether, guiding indirectly. Here, we are able to approach and divine only for those we choose. Here, there is no risk of aiding those who wish ill on the world. Here, there is no risk of humans. ”

“But then why the ability to manifest in the first place?” That was Agnes. “Why these abilities, if we weren’t meant to use them?”

“Why aren’t we heroes?” Virgil heard himself say. “We could avert tragedies, wars, anything that came about from a choice. Why aren’t we more?”

“Because if we were more, we would never be enough.” A quiet voice sounded from the back of the crowd. A being entirely made of light was speaking. Its voice felt fragile, crackling and rustling like an ancient manuscript. “I apologize for not speaking up to support you sooner, Cassandra.”

The being floated above of out of the cluster of Sages, gently landing near Virgil as an identical podium appeared before it. “I am the only other left who made that decision, and I should not have left you alone before our brethren, Cass. I also knew of the ability that this young Sage has revealed. We discovered the power by accident long ago, before Delphi. It was spoiled through arrogance and foolhardiness. At first we used it well, so we thought, and righted wrongs. But it could be used easily for ill, too. And though we are not human, we are just as susceptible to the throes of emotions. One of our number wanted to become an Enforcer, fixing every possible problem. We urged him not to, but were ignored. He drove himself almost to madness, convinced of his own righteousness. He turned against us all. He was the first to discover the powers of severance and cessation - which is why only Cassandra and I remain today. He turned those powers against every other Sage then in existence. We were able to catch him unawares, and meted his own judgment upon him. And we swore to never again let ourselves, or any of the new Sages we created, fall into such temptation. That is why we hid this knowledge. That is why Cassandra feels so strongly about non-intervention.”

“So you were justified. Great. Doesn’t change the fact that the rest of us are moral beings who’ve spent eternity forced to act as if we weren’t,” Virgil said. History was great and all that, but they weren’t off the hook of his opinion. “The one thing we have all embraced since Delphi was the necessity of choice. Yet you refused to honor that for us, your brethren. If this is what it means to follow the Sage’s Law, I’d like to remove myself from the equation.”

“These revelations do not alter your actions, traitor,” Cassandra hissed. “You were ignorant of these externalities and still deliberately flouted our established customs.”

“And he will still receive a judgment, Cassandra,” Agnes interrupted. “In accordance with the Law, we will still confer. But you cannot decree unilaterally that this new information changes nothing. And Virgil is allowed to make his wishes known.”

“You are right, of course, Agnes,” Cassandra said sourly. “So, trai- Virgil ,” she amended at Agnes’ glare. “What punishment do you request for your actions?”

Virgil paused. He hadn’t known he’d be given a choice. He’d never been present for a trial before.

“What I want? What I want is to have the Law be changed. For us as a whole to rethink our role. I want us to feel able to act when our morals compel us to do so, and to know how to balance our ability to act with our justification to do so. I want us to be better.”

“What you ask for is for chaos, a complete abandonment of our ancient order,” Cassandra said coldly.

Virgil looked away from her, towards the rest of the crowd. “We’re immortal, it won’t kill you all to think about it, will it?” He scanned the faces. Trying to read reactions when so many had only a haze of color instead of features was an impossible task. But nevertheless, his suggestion felt hopeless.

He sighed. “I guess that’s it, then. I no longer believe in the Law, and I wish to no longer be bound to its forced amorality. But our Elder is right - I don’t want to be an Enforcer, either. And I don’t want to have to constantly be balancing those extremes. I guess that means I request severance. Have the ether release me, and let me live on as a human, as a mortal. All I request is that I not lose my memory of the life I’ve lived so far in this form.”

Cassandra pursed her lips. Agnes smiled warmly. The elder being seemed to nod.

“Is there anything else you wish to add in your defense?” the agéd being asked.

“No… I think that’s it,” Virgil half-whispered. After speaking so much and so forcefully, he felt the hot energy that had pulsed through his veins cooling and congealing, leaving him drained.

“Then, brethren, please join me in the secondary plane for judgment.”

The gathered forms began to fade into more incorporeal forms.

“Wait!”

author’s note: Speaking of Doctor Who influences, whoops, who left this rose on a beach?

Agnes Nutter belongs to the late great Sir Pterry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman from their excellent, wonderful, hilarious novel Good Omens. I hope Neil doesn’t mind me borrowing her.

Also, WOW, you know that thing when characters just grab the tiller and go on a wildly different tack than you’d originally planned? That happened so hard I think I went straight into a jibe. Here’s hoping I don’t get hit in the head by the boom. (Am I taking the nautical metaphor too far? I probably am. Welp, that sure took the wind out of my sails)

#destined #Roses Writes Fanfic #my smol future-seeing baby #dsdkfjgkjdf #ehehehehe #virgil sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #we're SO close to the end now

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impivus · 6 years ago

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very rushed very shit intro comin @ you all but here goes nothing ! i’m felix from the gmt tmz, i use he / him pronouns, and im gonna power nap any minute now because one thing you should know about me is that i’m eternally on the verge of passing out from minimum exertions during the day. this is my pain in the ass eunsu: not even going to sugar coat it - he’s the human personification of a headache dumpster fire all in one beefy package and i really don’t even blame your character if they just . ignore his presence because, me too !

under the cut there’s some information about him if you want to get to know more about him regardless. smash that mf heart if you want to plot.. and i will get to you ? sometime ? its an ambiguous promise but i keep them, discord is also an option so just ask if you’d prefer to plot on there. eun’s about is here but no plots as of yet because life is hard and We Cant all Have Everything

aka im lazy

* ☾ ✧ * º ━━ is that KIM JONGIN walking about ? nope ! that’s just EUN SU CHO. & i’ve been told that they work as a INFORMATION BROKER ! apparently, they are TWENTY FIVE ( 204 ) years old . some people say they are a CISMALE, DEMON ! HE is very CULTIVATED & INTUATIVE but also DECIETFUL & MENACING. i wonder if they are just as odd as the rest of us . ⇢ SYNOPSIS. MBTI TYPE / entp, the debater ZODIAC SIGN / scorpio ENNEAGRAM TYPE / 7w8 KINSEY SCALE / 3 MORAL ALIGNMENT / chaotic evil / neutral HOGWARTS HOUSE / slytherin ⇢ AESTHETICS.

goosebumps raised and feelings of growing dread, the dark corner of a room where light doesn’t reach, silver pocket - watches with dead batteries, the scratch of a record player needle, flares in the sky, bad ideas coming to life, half-assed clapping when it’s required, figures dancing within the shadows & a smile you shouldn’t trust .

⇢ OVERVIEW

literally anybody: when are you free? eun su: im forever imprisoned in my own personal hell so i am never truly "free" but i don't really have plans all next week except for monday

this is eun su, and will y’all believe me if i say he used to be a good egg before he turned into the rotten egg i’m presentin y’all with today ?? i kid u not.. bs free zone. he did once .. have a hort he was born to a cult of witches, his twin brother absorbing all the magic that was meant to be equally distributed between them in his mother’s womb, which pretty much left eunsu as the black sheep of the family. said cult had been living on a small, near enough desolated island for literal decades, entertaining themselves with magic, seeking out knowledge, observing the unassuming populace, and toying with other supernatural creatures who dared cross their paths. unfortunately for eunsu’s family, tragedy struck when one of his aunt’s tried to over throw the high priestess ( his mother ) in their coven. unyielding in her position and untouchable to the magic she was exposed to, her sister went about other ways to break the woman’s spirits, dabbling in black magic predominantly to achieve her goals. eunsu’s brother was, thus, cursed before he was even born with an incurable heart defect that would see him dead before he reached double figures. eunsu’s mother was broken not mourned over how much he missed out as on a child: but she mourned for the fact that he was the only child that harboured any magic in their veins, the only child that could’ve carried on their lineage. queue entrance of eunsu and his Whats the Worst that Could Happen Attitude. being young and naive, thought he could’ve been able to solve it by himself, solve the issues and earn his mother’s lacking affections. eun had heard about dark vessels that could miraculously grant wishes through summonings. though he didn’t have magic in his veins he had a fire in his heart, and after all, demons cared not for who or what they fed from: so long as they appeased their hunger. all it wanted in return was a good, pure soul, and that’s what the demon stole from him before it mended his twin brother’s heart, giving the boy a new lease of life that wasn’t intended for him from the start. pity that eunsu died before he got to the age of twenty, following a quick and hungry fever that overtook his frail body and too soon turned deadly. there was no surprise that, come judgement day, he was turned away at the gates of heaven, in exchange for becoming one of lucifer’s own.

as a result of being eternally cursed with immorality and a tainted soul, he's lived some hundred-odd years and is coping by making the current populace in jeonseoul suffer along with finding purpose in digging out the secrets of his past life, mayhaps trying to find the demon who cursed him.... which could definitely be a wc.. and strengthening his abilities as a demon.

his personality is a bit insufferable; eunsu keeps himself distant and cryptic, because he likes it that way. he's a real weirdo ( if u have ever watched hxh he’s hisoka.. THAT weird ) that's hard to forget: completely mischievous, dramatic, and malicious to boot. some days he's waxing poetic about the futility of having a sense of justice and the next he's using his demonic powers to make some innocent tourist think they're hallucinating as they attempt to walk into a steady flow of traffic.

ultimately life's a game to him and bih.. he’s here to have fun ! he's outlived his actual family and friends ( well, aside from his brother who he barely remembers, prolly be a wc if anyone’s interested ) and he's not looking to get attached to anyone. it would be great to Die because it’s his forever Mood but he also gets furious if anyone tries to actually expel him for real - so he'll simply prod at the world and its people until he gets the reactions he wants.

fair warning: it is a pain to genuinely care about eunsu and not many people will wanna do it. he comes and goes into people's lives as he pleases, stops reaching out once he's bored and only ever grazes the surface of a relationship based on its worth or his curiosities, innocent ppl, cute ppl, etc are just gonna be eaten up by him then dropped.

the people who will be closest to him are doubtlessly other demons ig ? but he also hates y’all too so.. don’t get too friendly like he’s not here to make friends he’s here to be Jeonseoul’s next top Demon. also since he died sumn like 200 years ago it’s possible some wizards / familiars knew of him and his coven, it’d be super interesting for someone to have known cute human eunsu in exchange for chaotic bastard demon eunsu

⇢ MISCELLANEOUS

since he’s a young demon, his horns are small and his wings barely span about two inches above his shoulder bones, he got itty bitty bat wings lbr he’s kinda pissed abt it. there’s tattoos over his scars from clashing with other demons / hunters / angels, but his devil’s mark lining the back of his neck, performed by first demon who took his soul, has never faded away.

he also works as an info broker, which ties in with the fact that he’s a contractual demon ! it's more of a hobby than a job, something he does for kicks and to restock his gambling money and alcohol money, but he offers a helping hand to solo clientele for private cases if need be, just remember to bring your negotiation skills because his manipulation skills are a1.

he's well-versed in witchcraft even if he can’t actually possess the abilities that actual witches can. while hardly the mentoring type, he could be convinced to equip people with his knowledge of latin, spells or dark magic they want if he's interested enough. then again he might decide to screw them over for kicks so ask him for favours with caution.

for someone who carries a ton of spite and secrets, he passes as an easygoing, casual literature major on the daily to disguise his true intentions. find him at the university pretending to be a student and failing miserably at it like edward’s thousand year old ass in twilight

he cheats at the casino with his demonic powers but does it infrequently enough to pass it as luck. play games with him at your own risk. casinos are one of his favourite places but he can really be found anywhere with ease but some other places he frequents are: beaches, libraries, museums, bars, etc !

he'll get on people's nerves, but getting him to care to the degree of hate is another story. living this long has numbed him; people don't surprise him anymore and he doesn't care to spend time thinking about others. the secret to getting him to turn deathly serious is as simple as telling him you can tell that he was once a good person - because the cheesy truth is he was. he just convinces himself that he's given up trying to remember his human life and finds it easier to live like he’s dead.. yknow which he is.

romance makes him queasy, he's a spiteful old bastard and the concept of sweet love rubs him 100% fictional. there's someone he fancied before he was cursed but i'll save you the story: that's a distant dream now.

he might quote romantic works or put some pretty words together but he's fake as Fuck. if he notices someone innocent and unsuspecting crushing on him they are in so much trouble. he'll kiss their hand then twirl them right off a cliff. corruption kink central right here laid ease

as of rn he’s trying to master how to teleport and shadow control but he really is like on level one and he’s got to get up to level 50 to achieve even a fifth of what these other demons can do

edit: i totally forgot to include eunsu’s ‘demonic’ title after he was banished to the perils of hell. it’s ironically just saint, and he goes around using that bc it’s blasphemous and a big ole middle finger to god himself. nobody will know his real name, but if there’s an off chance that they do, that’s a massive threat to eunsu and he’ll get his Snipers on Scene

tl;dr:

#oddintro #. I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE ── / OOC. ❞#so this is. a thing!

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evakfanficsrecs · 7 years ago

Text

Hello, babes!

Someone nicely asked for a purely Christmas(sy) list, so I shall deliver! Don’t worry, though, a rec list with all the other fics (Part 16) is coming soon too... it’ll just have a slightly longer delay. That being said, here is a list of all Evak fanfics that I thoroughly enjoyed in the month of December and I want to share with you... I really hope you enjoy these fics just as much as I did! I wish you all a lovely Christmas and a happy reading!

P.S. Sorry about the crappy, ridiculous banner! (I’ve never claimed to be a Photoshop master, okay.)

As per usual, the list is divided into oneshots, chaptered fics and series. My personal favorites are tagged with a “★”. Completed chaptered fics are tagged with a “✓”.

ONESHOTS:

For One Night (It's Christmas) by flowerbedofsouls Summary: Even wants to know what Isak got him for Christmas.

Christmas Surprises by bashfulisak Summary: Isak and Even celebrate Christmas together by going to Even's house for dinner.

sweet hymns of joy by DarkBeauty_890 ★ Summary: Eskild breathes out a breath and his entire being seems to loosen, once he realizes that they were in no real danger. He cocks a hip and shifts the frying pan of bacon, “You call me in here, practically screaming bloody murder… because your boyfriend’s parents were lovely enough to buy your stinky ass something?” Well when he puts it like that Isak supposes it sounds a bit dramatic.

Express Yourself by thestyleofsecrecy Summary: "Can't you just tell me what you got me?" Even laughed – teasing Isak and seeing him so impatient were two of his favorite things. “I appreciate the effort, but no. You'll have to wait and see.” “Ugh, okay. Can I at least kiss you?” “Yeah, alright. That you can do.” * Isak and Even exchange gifts on Christmas day, Even is a sneaky little puppy and Isak listens to Troye Sivan.

fucking finally by theyellowcurtains Summary: It was nearing Christmas and Isak had to do something. He really wanted Even to be in his life forever now. * AKA The one where Isak proposes.

Tis’ The Season To Be Grumpy by EvensDramaticShenanigans ★ Summary: “God dammit, what the fuck!” Isak shouted, his irritation bubbling over completely. “Can’t you watch where you’re fucking going?” He snapped, spinning around to face his new aggressor. “Mr. Elf said a bad word!” Anja cried out, her tone accusatory and berating. Even quickly pressed his hands against Anja’s ears, even though it was a little late for than now. “Jeez,” Even started, giving Isak a pointed look. “Are you supposed to be using that kind of language around children?” He asked, though he didn’t sound mad— more amused than anything, really. Isak scrunched up his face at that. “What would Santa have to say about this?”

but cause he really knows me by ourlovelybones Summary: Even just wants to plan a perfect surprise for Isak, one where it doesn't go quite as planned and one where he thinks he might have gotten it just right.

Just Kids When We Fell In Love by wyoheartsmusic ★ Summary: Isak and Even go to university 3000 km away from each other. Luckily, it's Christmas break and they had the brilliant idea to go on a cabin trip together. Romance ensues.

The best Christmas you've ever had by hannakin Summary: “I don’t hate Christmas,” Isak sighed. “I just don’t like it.” Isak doesn't really like Christmas but Even does and he wants Isak to do too. “I’m going to make this Christmas the best Christmas you have ever had.” he whispered.

Make the Yuletide Gay by Sabeley ★ Summary: Isak has been pining after Even for months. Jonas and Eva decide that a romantic getaway at the cabin is exactly what the two boys need to confess their feelings to each other. Or the one with the Evak/Joneva double date that we all deserve.

helpful magic by everythingislove (narrylife) & puddingandpie Summary: Five times Even uses his magic because of Isak, and the one time he actually tells him about it. * Or: the one where Even is a Santa’s Helper with special Christmas magic abilities, and Isak is a normal human who he's quickly falling for.

Rock Hard Paper Scissors by skamsnake Summary: “Well… we could play Rock-Paper-Scissors for it?” Even says, breaking the kiss. Isak sends him a look of disbelief but soon shrugs in agreement, hoping Even will let him win this time too. He always does. Which is good, because Isak’s not sure his legs work right now.

Under the Mistletoe by evak1isak Summary: Isak has a crush on Eva's best friend, Even, but he's too stubborn to recognize it. With Christmas coming, Eva has a plan to set the two boys up.

Hope by bri_ness Summary: Isak and Even celebrate hope.

Where the Lovelight Gleams by Sabeley ★ Summary: "Are we having phone sex?" Isak sputtered in disbelief and it was so endearing that Even couldn't help but smile."Is that not why you called?" he taunted. "No," Isak snapped. "I called for real sex." "Well, I'm working on getting home, but it's going to be a minute, so... What are you wearing?" "Does it sound like I'm wearing anything? God, you're really bad at this." * Or the one where Even and Isak are stuck at different Christmas parties, but they're determined to have sex anyway.

18 Secret Santa Horror Stories That'll Turn Anyone Into A Grinch by GayaIsANerd Summary: Some secret Santa, some unfortunate google results, a whole lot of complaining and a heart full of gratitude.

It's Not This Life, It's These (Day)dreams by Fxckxxp ★ Summary: Isak is 110% done with Vilde, Sana is on his hit list, and he can’t make Christmas cookies to save his life. Oh, and there’s Even—whose laugh is what Isak notices, whose charm is what makes him fall, and whose kisses are what make him stay. * Or, what might have happened if Kosegruppa had gone a little differently.

(Baby) It's Cold Outside by himmelsky Summary: December is approaching, but Isak isn’t feeling the Christmas spirit. Barista guy, aka Even, wants it differently.

Late December With My Heart In My Chest by LavenderWater ★ Summary: In order to stop his mother's fussing since he left for college, Even tells her he's dating his roomate, Isak. They pretend to be a couple over the holiday weekend to convince his family.

it's going to rain on friday, the twenty-second of december by vesperthine Summary: Isak has tried to tell him that there’s nothing to discuss ( – that mom isn’t well, that dad is a coward, that he just wants to forget everything about family and expected happiness and just leech off of theirs – ) but every time Even has gone quiet and looked down; looked so sad that the conversation has just died. Which he knows is a fatal blow ( – a communicative meltdown – ) that leads to everything that he wants to avoid; screaming and crying that reminds all too much of the things he just wants to forget.

It's a Wonderful Life by kapplebougher Summary: "Think of it as a film, Even," she said, stepping closer. "What I'm about to show you, is one made just for you. Except this time, you are not the director." "You say that like I ever was," he said, more bitterness creeping into his tone than he’d expected. "Oh, you are,” she assured him. “Much more than you would think. But you won't be in this one." "Why not?" "Because in this one, you don't exist."

The Disaster Christmas by Jules1398 Summary: It's now Isak's turn to meet Even's extended family over the week of Christmas.

dance with me by agarina Summary: There's always some room for anxiety. And cheesy Christmas music. And dancing. And kisses.

Maybe what matters is being together by evakuality Summary: It's Isak's first ever anniversary and he can't imagine anything worse than being forced to spend it with his co-workers. Of course, when your anniversary happens to be around Christmas time, sometimes dates collide.

Slowly Starts Sinking In by bri_ness Summary: After a Christmas party, Isak and Eva consider their feelings for their friends.

i can't pretend (guess that's love) by wyoheartsmusic ★ Summary: Even is tired of watching his friends kiss. So is Isak. The plan? Add more kissing to the mix to get them to stop kissing. Foolproof. Right?

twelve by kittpurrson ★ Summary: Just because it's Christmas, and at Christmas you tell the truth. Isak is afraid of messing up and Even is afraid of overstaying his welcome. Magnus doesn't know what Vilde wants, and Vilde doesn't know how to want. Eva and Jonas are stuck in the ghost of Christmas past, and nobody knows what the hell they're doing. But it's Christmas, so they muddle through it together.

You Forgot Cranberries Too? by ultimatelawrence Summary: "Isak was a romantic deep down in his heart. A fact he never let anyone know. But a fact that was there and seemed to be exacerbated by the festive season." * 4 Christmas Eve's in which Isak sees Even. 4 Christmas Eve's to get it right.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas by colazitron Summary: Even knows Isak's a bit nervous about visiting his mother for Christmas, so he tries to lighten the mood with a joke.

Ready to Jingle Your Bells by EvensDramaticShenanigans Summary: It was truly a testament to how drunk Isak was when rather than vehemently denying the request or furiously shaking his head and pushing everyone away, he set his glass down and determinately rose to his feet. And there was also the fact that Isak— sober or drunk— was never one to turn away from any sort of challenge, and Mikael’s wording certainly posed this as one. (Of course, there was also the fact that Even did sing him a song, and what kind of a boyfriend would he be if he didn’t serenade Even right back?)

Mistletoe and Type O Negative by riyku Summary: Isak Valtersen: vampire hunter. Kinda has a nice ring to it.

Bundle Up Tight! Flurries Tonight by EvensDramaticShenanigans Summary: Isak obliged and snatched up the first coat of his that his eyes landed on. It was more of a windbreaker than it was a real jacket, and Even quickly pointed that out. “If you wear that you're going to freeze, Is.” “It’s not that cold out, Even. Anyways we’re just walking to the tram stop, we’re not going to be outside very long.”

CHAPTERED:

My Very Personal Ski Trainer by Crazyheart ✓ Summary: This is before Christmas 2016. Even never transferred to Nissen, so he’s doing his last year at Bakka. He has just broken up with Sonja and is recovering from a manic and depressive episode. Sana has invited Even and her other friends to a Holiday cabin trip, and Even needs to get in shape so that he can beat his buddies in Sana’s planned ski race. He tries out a personal ski trainer app and meets the hot ski trainer Isak Valtersen. Even struggles to focus only on the training. On the cabin trip, when Even arrives early, a surprise guest turns up and a snowstorm threatens to snow them both in. Who knows what happens next? * A different meeting AU and sort of a 4 + 1 (Four times Isak and Even don’t talk for real, and one time they do).

It's beginning to look at lot like Christmas by Teatrolley ★ ✓ Summary: So, here’s the thing:Isak moves out of his parent’s house when he’s sixteen and it’s fine, really, most of the time it’s fine. It’s just Decembers. Goddamn Decembers. They’re not exactly his favourite time of the year. This time, though: this time he think there’s someone who has it worse than he does. On the first of December that year, Even moves in.

I Just Want You For My Own by Twinklylightseverywhere ✓ Summary: Even loves the holidays, really. He loves spending time with his friends and family, drinking hot chocolate by the fire, exchanging gifts, the like. He loves leaving his apartment to see snow falling from the sky, children’s eyes lit up in excitement, and the general busy bustle of downtown Oslo in December. You know what he doesn’t love about Christmas time? Working in a fucking Post Office.

(I’ll give it to) Someone Special by nofeartina ✓ Summary: Isak Valtersen is certain of a few things: 1. He doesn’t really like Christmas. 2. He loves Even – as a friend. 3. He doesn’t want things to change between them. So that’s why he offers to play Even’s boyfriend on a visit to Even’s homophobic family. And then he realizes a few other things. 4. He’s surprised by how perfect a fake boyfriend Even is. 5. Okay. Maybe, Isak is starting to love Even as more than a friend. * Or the one where Isak is oblivious to Even’s true feelings about him, but fortunately it only takes the Christmas holidays to change that.

A Thrill of Hope by mlbee ✓ Summary: “Yes,” Even breathed before pulling Isak in for another kiss. He pulled away and murmured, “This is so weird. I’m kissing a total stranger.” “Really?” Isak asked. “I do it all the time.” * The Holiday AU.

A Grump for Christmas by Schedazzle Summary: Apparently he wasn't as great at hiding his emotions, because as he hastily wiped the table someone behind him said, “Why do you always frown when that one comes on?” Isak looked over his shoulder to where that deep voice had come from. Even. There was a fluttering in his stomach every time his coworker unexpectedly starting talking to him. He rolled his eyes. “It means the CD starts back up again.” Even who had been smiling at him grinned at that and chuckled. “You’re a Grinch.” * OR: The Fake Dating holiday fic where they both get to save each other a little bit.

SERIES:

santa, baby by empty_venom Summary: Isak's never been good at gifts. This year though, he has something special for Even.

–A

#even x isak #isak x even #evak #evak fanfiction #evak fanfic #skam #skam fanfiction #skam fanfic #evak fanfiction recs #evak christmas #christmas #masterposts

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