#Against The Current - Voices
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NOBODY is allowed to be happy and EVERYONE is doomed
#alnst#alien stage#ivantill#mizisua#this is also random but i associate mizisua with water and ivantill with fire.#and ivantill is fire in the way of meteors and the burn of fists against skin#the blazing star of a rebellious boy and the glow that reflects off of mesmerized black eyes#the red pupil within an expanse of black. light brought to a black hole. reverse supernova. something out of nothing#mizisua is water in the way mizi speaks of the ocean. the bubbly quality of her voice#the wide expanse of blue that stretches before them as sua sings and mizi watches from afar#the cold waters that they played in as children#the natural calming and easy flow of currents#the bright sky above them that paints the waters blue and by extension their memories as well#just like the blue stage lights that painted sua before her death#the flowing of tears onto her lifeless body#memories of bright blue stained with red#(i also associate mizi with water and jellyfish in general lol)#sorry that shit was so random
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I think something i don't often see in discussions about Futa's character is how, if you really take a second, he's kind of a people pleaser
He isn't so in a way like what Mikoto got going on, he does want to be around people of the same interests as him, and you wouldn't think he'd care about anything but authenticity if you stayed with the way he behaves on milgram. It is only when you think about him -in- those social circles he manages to get into that you can see him tweaking lol
I think the closest to see this that we have in milgram itself is that one interaction with Kotoko in which she attempts to debate how prisons respect human rights. Any other time he expressed his opinion/stance on things he was aggressive and maybe condescending to the rest because they disagreed with him, but the second someone agreed? Whole demeanor changed. Suddenly he didn't have much to say anymore and he just parroted Kotoko's words back at her. Why. If he has such a strong personality and mindset, why was someone validating his point enough to shut down his otherwise very firm attitude?
Futa doesn't go as far as to manufacture his every word for it to cause a positive reaction on others from the get go, but he does seek validation all the same. He braces himself for rejection by being loud and obnoxious and harsh until he sees a positive reaction and then is when he does a complete 180 to keep the other person in that place of validation. He is simultaneously completely bad at it though, but I never said he was good at people pleasing. Which connects back to what i've said before about his inability to fit in. Even when he thinks he's doing it right and he sees himself getting validation by people he cares about (in the case of his crime, by mimicking his friendgroup's method of "bringing justice" by calling out someone online, that same friendgroup following along and reinforcing the idea that he was doing it right), he ultimately fails anyway and loses it all over again.
In the end, he's just extremely socially awkward and anxious. It isn't in his nature to reach anyone else's expectations even if he genuinely wants to, so he'll either do what he can within his parameters (mold himself for his friendgroup of people he deems similar to him) or he'll avoid trying altogether because he knows he'll fail (what we see in milgram!)
It also shows how his yearn for a support system (t2 qna + mu's birthday timeline convo) isn't particularly new from his current circumstances, or why the only person he could think of when asked who he would want to see right now was his mom (who left so long ago he barely remembers her). He has just never truly had people that genuinely cared for him no matter what he tried to do to make himself likeable.
#and having this in mind i think i understand why he seems to be “giving in” to amane's beliefs#it isnt solely because of his current vulnerability#it isnt even just to find solace in religion#it is because amane offered him help. in a way shes validating him#and if believing in bullshit like salvation and god will make at least the elementary schooler talk to him sometimes#against being left alone with his thoughts and the voices in the walls#with the track record he has of slightly molding himself and mimicking others#yeahh#and honestly that only means itll backfire even worse! on Him!#in his own words#it is what it isSorry#but no yeah hes fucked. i dont think his religious arc is gonna make shit complicated for anyone else but him#but itll be AWFUL on him#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#fuuta milgram#character analysis#sorta kinda#as always
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your honor they're everything
#'thespian or lesbian' is the new 'gay or european' thank you for coming to my ted talk-#*eddie voice* she's thespian AND a lesbian!!!!#poppy screaming 'i knew it' in the bg#does this have anything to do with the post! no! it does not! thank you!#i think they're very funny (unintentionally) and sweet#picturing poppy listening to sally rehearse. fully leaning against the windowsill and pining#scribble salad#welcome home#popstar my beloved....#i think its quickly gonna become one of my current Top Pairings#like yes i do indeed love franklydear a lot. but also <3popstar<3. and of course 💞💖✨LAUGHINGSTOCK✨💖💞#they are my top three. gay people rejoice#no straight people on my blog no siree#kidding. i love straight people! i have - do i have straight friends. uh. oh! my parents are straight!#wait fuck are they... theyve mentioned... hm. well straight people are valid <3#side note im so glad this pairing has passed peer review#the replies in the first popstar post made me !!!!!!! YALL LIKE IT YAY !!!!!! THE PEOPLE AGREE YIPPEE!!!!
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Germany: We need a list of Jewish people’s names and addresses. For reasons.
Literally everyone:
#free palestine#jewish voice#jews for ceasefire#jews against genocide#jewsforpalestine#jews for palestine#jewish#Jewish voice for a just peace#germany#germany news#discrimination#antisemitism#palestine#gaza#free gaza#israel#current events#israel is committing genocide#bds movement#boycott divestment sanctions#boycott divest sanction
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Free Palestine 🇵🇸 Keep talking about them, keep amplifying Palestinian voices, keep sharing and reposting and posting, keep watching Bisan, Motaz, Hind and other Gaza journalists. Keep BOYCOTTING indefinitely and keep protesting !
#free palestine#pro palestine#gaza#share#palestine#world#current events#current#amplify#amplify palestinian voices#amplify this#lgbt against genocide#lgbtqia against genocide#lgbtq are pro palestine#palestinians matter#keep boycotting#boycott#boycott mcdonald’s#boycott puma#boycott Starbucks#boycott israel#Gaza children#Palestinian children
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I don't think that framing "Marginalized™️ Atheism/Deconstruction" and "Cishet White Male Atheism/Deconstruction" as inherently ~separate and distinct~ is super effective (and disclaimer I'm specifically speaking about my experience with christianity, atheism, and ex christian atheists/deconstructors), but also... okay so I was raised in a cult, and cults are oppressive for all its members. Nobody gets out unscathed, everyone experiences the abuse tactics, everybody is a victim. But within the cult there is a hierarchy, and cishet white men are at the top. So while the cult is oppressive to everyone, and everyone is harmed in some way, it is also uniquely oppressive to queer folks, to BIPOC, to disabled folks, to women, etc etc. And the thing that happens to some of those cishet white men is they leave an oppressive cult, where they are considered the "default", and they go into the ~real world~, where they are also considered the "default", and even in atheist/deconstruction spaces, their bodies and experiences are often the leading voices.
The men that leave go from an oppressive patriarchal culture to a far less oppressive (to them) patriarchal society. The white people that leave go from an oppressive racist culture to a far less oppressive (to them) racist society. The people that leave go from an oppressive culture that does not value marginalized voices to a different, less oppressive culture that also does not value marginalized voices. And if you personally do not experience [xyz] oppression, it can be difficult to even realize there are things surrounding that you have to deconstruct unless you listen to the voices of the oppressed. But some cishet white men go from being considered the "default" in an oppressive culture, to being considered the "default" in a less oppressive culture (to them). Their experience of "overcoming systemic oppression" comes from leaving the church, and it can be really easy to fall into the trap that the church, specifically, is the sole oppressor and enemy of everyone.
Of course this doesn't happen in every single case and it's also not exclusive to cishet white men. But those blind spots are why I think it's important for everyone to listen to a variety of voices when they're deconstructing, especially if those voices are talking about oppression you wouldn't have experienced firsthand.
No, our deconstructions are not inherently different, but the experiences and circumstances prior to it often are. It's okay to acknowledge that and beneficial for everybody to listen to each other's experiences.
#ex cult#ex christian#deconstruction#also extremely not claiming that i was or even am currently perfect about this#it really wasn't something i considered until the last couple years and i started getting on deconstruction tiktok#but when i was first deconstructing almost all of the deconstruction content i was consuming was cishet white and male#(one person not being het)#and like tbf these people generally seemed like good people just trying to do their best. it's nothing against them#but i didn't realize how like... important listening to other voices would be#both for the camaraderie and for learning#like yes i was chronically ill while in the church w both mental and physical conditions and it was damaging to me#but i was also not visibly disabled#and i didn't really pick up on how the church treated and harmed people who are visibly disabled while i was in it#and it wasn't something i really considered until i saw someone who was visibly disabled talk about their experience#how they'd get harassed at church#how everyone wanted to lay hands and pray for a miracle#how they were treated as the problem when praying didn't cure them#how people thought it was caused by sin or demons or lack of faith or whatever else#yes there is some overlap in our experiences but some things just didn't even cross my mind before bc it wasn't my personal experience#anyway diversify the voices you listen to when you're deconstructing it's good for you!!!
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Dear Mutuals / Tumblr Users,
I am in need of finding new music to listen during work. You most certainly know some underappreciated singers or bands that deserve more recognition. So let's play this game:
Reblog this post and tag 3 songs that you're currently obsessing over.
Rules:
NO JUDGING. If the song you're obsessing over right now is not the music type you usually listen to, still tag it. Also, if someone tags a song you find bad, don't judge their music taste.
ORIGINAL MUSIC ONLY. We may do covers in another post but for now I want to get to know bands/singers making original songs.
JUST 3 SONGS. If you have more on the list right now, choose 3 you most want people to listen to.
I'll put mine in the tags.
#Eluveitie - A Rose For Epona#Cellar Darling - Challenge#Against The Current - Voices#eluveitie#cellar darling#against the current#music
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(one piece wano arc spoilers)
So like @guardianlioness and I were talking about one piece and thematic stuff and generally losing our minds and we were talking especially about like
How Zoro and Sanji and Luffy are a Trio but also how Zoro and Sanji are explicitly also painted to be a duo to Luffy, right, like. They're the "Wings of the Pirate King". Together, they protect and look after the crew, but also their captain. They are, effectively, equals in what they do, "official" roles IN the crew itself aside. Zoro, with his high physical power as their physical defense and Sanji, with his high empathy and compassion as an emotional bulwark
And
Like
Okay. Here's the thing. Here's the proverbial problem. Cause right now, as it stands, Oda's introduced an unbalance to the duo. We were specifically talking about how frustrating it kind of is that the imbalance exists.
Because Oda gave Zoro conqueror's haki. He and Luffy share this— but it leaves Sanji as an odd one out. Thematically, it makes no sense to end with this like... off kilter seesaw. Why would you build these two up to BE on even standing only to take that away from them? Don't get me wrong, Zoro having conqueror's haki is a delicious character choice that I think adds fascinating complexity to Zoro and his position in the crew. He's a powerhouse, he's exerting his will over reality, and he follows his Captain the future Pirate King without question. Haki. Love it. Brilliant. But it makes no sense in the overarching thematic line between him and Sanji in regards to Luffy.
Giving Sanji conqueror's naturally wouldn't fix the issue, because frankly that defeats the entire purpose OF the char building that's been established in whole cake island. Sanji rejected the line of noble, of royalty, of power. It makes no SENSE for sanji to have it, he's not someone looking TO conquer or overcome the way Zoro is, it doesn't FIT him. And saying the stuff with his raid suit and the Germa augmentation rearing its head is the balance point is nonsensical for the same reason. Sanji already rejected all of that power and what it means and reclaimed it in a new way. Explicitly, directly, he denounced these things, directly ASSOCIATES them with a loss of humanity and his very self, wants nothing more to DO with it. Not only does it not make sense, but going back on it would be a slap in the face to all the development Sanji's gone through up until now, even laying aside the fact that it doesn't parallel Luffy at all so the unbalance isn't really addressed in that case.
But you know. Conqueror's Haki isn't the only thing Luffy has to proverbially offer. Conqueror's Haki is the overt, the direct, the loud and forceful. There's a lot we don't understand, between the stuff we do. It bears down and exerts over reality, makes demands of it. It tells you to listen.
What do we know about The Voice Of All Things? Not a lot. We know it seems to enable one to hear not the words, but the intention, the truth of other living things and even in objects, especially those with will like the Poneglyphs. We know Roger had it, Zunesha has it, the Kozuki line seemed generally to have it. The Three Eyed tribe may be capable of awakening it in themselves. We don't know if it's purely something you're born with or not. We don't know what it means, if anything, except for this: to hear the voice is to listen to the world around you and understand its heart.
When Luffy enters Gear 5, the only one who can tell at first is Zunesha. Zunesha can hear his heartbeat, and conveys this through the Voice to Momonosuke.
The anime conveys it more clearly, but it's in the manga text, too. Immediately after Zunesha realizes this... Onigashima is shaking. No one quite knows yet what's going on, other than Kaido is here and the world around them is trembling. Those on the battlefield, they've got front row seats to witnessing the transformation, what comes next.
Zoro and Sanji have finished their fights. They're conked the fuck out post battle, like usual... or they should be. But here's the thing. Right after Zunesha calls for Joyboy, from a room distant to the fighting, offset from the war waging outside...
Sanji's part in the major battles is over by this point. If they wanted to emphasize a "the crew knows their captain" moment, why not showcase the other strawhats too? The ones not on ground zero? But it doesn't show anyone else. It focuses. on. him.
Sanji, who's a deeply compassionate and kind man. Sanji, who stopped and paid attention even to the biological relatives he couldn't stand when he could've walked free without a care. Sanji, with his skills in Observation, in already listening to and feeling out others' intentions...
Zoro having conqueror's haki doesn't make sense on its own. It unbalances the duality of the Wings of the Pirate King. But give Sanji the power to hear the Voice Of All Things or something damn well close... that's a pretty good parallel to each other and their roles to Luffy, don't you think?
#One Piece#Blackleg Sanji#Sanji One Piece#One Piece Theory#Sanji#OP Spoilers#Wano Spoilers#yall I'm about to lose my FUCKING MARBLES okay#i actually realized the voice works thematically BEFORE i found out the manga and anime back it up w those three panels#but for the purposes of a post it naturally makes more sense to lay it out like this#ANYWAY I'M PROBABLY WRONG BUT ALSO. THEMATICALLY THE TEXT IS THERE. IT MAKES SENSE. IT F I T S#and tbh if the imbalance doesn't get addressed I'm gonna be a little miffed WHEEZE#god. weve had this theory for 2 minutes and i feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack I'm vibrating about it okay#confession I'm not manga current so if there's more proof or else stuff against the theory. hell if i know lmao#Blacknovelist talks#.... forgor that. opps
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Despite how much I suffered making my last isat au Aris sprite redraw, I decided to do it again and once again went through hell doing it. There’s like a billion mistakes in this (such as her having the wrong arm rip) but at the end of the day I’m still happy with how it turned out :]
#keese draws#oc#oc art#eternal gales#isat#in stars and time#sorry for main tagging feel free to excecute me if you want or whatever#grips sink cringe is dead cringe is dead cringe is dead#anyways this is a very fuzzy and vague au as I don’t rly feel comfortable going off too hard with this one#this is pretty much entirely because I know I’d have to fuck around with the worldbuilding a decent amount and I don’t rly wanna do that#Isat’s worldbuilding is one of my favorite parts of isat so I don’t wanna fuck it up yknow?#I might do some other sprite redraws once I stop thinking too hard abt aris and tali#for context tali is the king aka complicated design that makes me wanna cry especially since I made it worse by changing her imagery#instead of having tears as a thing she has like. fracturing if that makes sense?#it’s supposed to be a nod to her ‘cracked’ eye in canon#she also has threads coming from her limbs instead of long hair for similar reasons#also she doesn’t have straight hair so yknow#but yeah for additional context aris and tali are half sisters and they make me go insane#in this au the idea would be that when their grandparents divorced when the two were little tali and their grandma left the island#aris wouldn’t leave until five or so years later when she was around 12#at which point the island disappeared and all that#the two have mostly completely forgotten about eachother but there still is familiarity between them#tali isn’t any less of a piece of shit than the king in this au tho#aris for a brief moment almost remembers who tali is during act 3 but she dies before she can fully grasp it#which almost hurts more to her despite not even knowing what she was trying to recall#during act 5 her inner sadness fight is against the hazy image of a very young tali 👍#just tiny 5 year old tali using the voices of the others to scream at aris that she’s been nothing but a burden to them all#and that she’s done nothing but hurt them in her selfish attempts to fix a problem that she refuses to admit she caused#and that time and time again she’s lied that she’s doing her best to protect them and that she’s failed all of them#it’s a mix of current guilt and her hazy but longstanding guilt towards tali
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instagram
#al shifa#al shifa hospital#hospital#gaza news#palestine news#palestine update#gaza update#yemen#jerusalem#current events#palestine#free palestine#gaza#free gaza#journalist#journalism#free palestine 🇵🇸#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#from the river to the sea 🇵🇸#end genocide#keep talking about palestine#keep boycotting#keep protesting#keep posting about gaza#don't stay ignorant#dont stay silent#silence is violence#silence is complicity#your voice matters#israeli crimes against humanity
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i think kotori love live could beat sukuna in a fight so she gets 2 b my icon now
#hina.txt#this bit of mine of sukuna interacting w the llsif girls and just . sif as a franchise will never not b hysterical 2 me#sukuna voice chun chun#anyway i had a shit day so i drew myself a koto icon now i am cured#she has a gun <333#kotori voice im a healer but ...#i mainly just wanted an icon more reflective of my current art style gjhjkd#but i ws such a fan of the red bg against hellsite blue so i eyedropped it ok sue me
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"All political parties face a trade-off under a first-past-the-post electoral system. Governing depends on attracting a broad coalition of voters, inevitably involving compromises that leave a party’s base disgruntled.
So it is perhaps unsurprising that as we move closer to a general election, the discontent from the anti-Labour left who claim there is little to distinguish Keir Starmer from Rishi Sunak in the battle for the premiership is only getting noisier."
"The argument is threefold: there’s no meaningful difference between the Conservatives and Labour; Starmer supposedly can’t be trusted because he has dropped pledges he made in the 2020 leadership election to shift his party towards the centre; finally, the “Tories are toast” and Labour can’t lose, so disgruntled left voters can safely vote for other parties, such as the Greens.
With Labour so far ahead in the polls, the urge to debunk these sentiments may seem like an expression of paranoia. But all three aspects of this narrative are comprehensively wrong, including the reassurance that it is safe for anyone who would prefer a Labour government to vote for another party in Labour-Tory contests."
"But what this underplays is the number of Labour-Tory marginals where a relatively small vote for other left candidates could cost Labour a win. James Kanagasooriam, of the polling company Focaldata, has written about the “sandcastle” nature of Labour’s likely majority; his forecast is that there will be many more marginal seats in the 2024 parliament compared with 2019. If more than predicted numbers of those who voted Green in the locals decide they can afford to do so in the general election because Labour is so far ahead in national polls, that will boost the Conservatives.
Next up is the idea that Starmer’s dropping of some of his leadership pledges makes him dangerously untrustworthy. But this is the product of a system in which the tiny unrepresentative slice of the electorate that is a party membership pick their leader before voters choose their prime minister. Anyone hoping to be PM would have to shift position between a leadership selection and a general election: a Labour leader’s most important job is to connect with potential voters, not to coddle members with the comfort blanket of a policy platform such as the “free broadband for all” 2019 pledge that was roundly rejected.
Liz Truss provides a cautionary tale of what happens when a party leader seeks to impose a membership-endorsed platform on the country without a general election. For Starmer to have stuck to his 2020 leadership election pledges, instead of spending the past four years understanding voters, would have been fundamentally anti-democratic.
The most egregious aspect of the anti-Labour left argument is there isn’t much to choose between Starmer and Sunak. Yes, Labour’s “Ming vase” election strategy has seen it take a much more cautious fiscal approach than many of us would like: it has effectively adopted the Tory macroeconomic worldview and with it a set of spending constraints that no one sensible thinks either party could stick to in the wake of the election.
That is frustrating for anyone hoping this election campaign may illuminate some of the tough trade-offs facing Britain; but it would have been incredibly risky for one side to go it alone on this. The alternative is Labour walking into the trap and handing the Conservatives a “Labour tax bombshell” election campaign.
From a commitment to scrap the Rwanda plan to making clear that in an ideal world Labour would discard the two-child benefit cap, there are plenty of reasons that it is preposterous to think that a Starmer government would make the same trade-offs as successive Conservative governments that have financed billions of pounds worth of tax cuts for more affluent families by cutting tax credits and benefits for low-income parents. The six pledges Starmer launched two weeks ago may be incremental, but Labour needs voters to believe they are deliverable, and they are indicative of a very different set of priorities than those that animate Sunak."
"Starmer is not without weaknesses, as shown by the days he took to clarify an interview last October in which he gave the impression he thought Israel had the right to withhold power and food from Gaza. But there is no doubt whatsoever he would make a vastly more compassionate and competent prime minister than Sunak. To encourage people to put that outcome at risk by casting a protest vote against a Labour government that does not yet exist is perhaps the ultimate form of luxury belief campaigning."
#i dont particularly like starmer either#and labour have dropped a lot of policies i love and picked up some that I'm highly sceptical of#but those battles can be fought once theyre in power. right now all you lot are doing is doing the tories work for them#uk politics#labour winning is not a guarantee. WE DO NOT HAVE PROPORTIONAL REPRESENTATION#if the left vote is split. the tories WILL benefit#let's vote tactically now. for whatever party has the best chance of getting the Tories out in your constituency#be that lib dems. labour or greens. and once we've done that. we can all write to our mps and make our feelings known#i for one would love to finally have an mp that actually fucking listens to their constituents and makes themselves avaliable#my tory mp barely ever even bothers to vote#that's not democracy is it#I'll be voting for a lib dem mp as she's the only one with a chance of beating the huge majority my current tory mp has#and then I'll be sending her a shit Ton of letters asking her to stand up for Palestine and trans rights and disabled people#and stand against child poverty and landlords and over policing and over militarisation IN PARLIAMENT#as someone in a tory safe seat this is my only chance to maybe have my voice in parliament heard and it drives me up the wall#that you are all telling ppl to throw that kind of chance away
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So I heard that Tumblr is slowly being abandoned (they seem to be laying off a majority of their staff and keeping a skeleton crew) and we might be nearing the end of this webbed site. I don't think it's currently worth panicking over, but I'm definitely going to start making that neocities website.
I'll make a post soon about other places where you can find me. Unfortunately, I've spent quite some time these last couple years getting rid of a majority of my social media because most platforms were bad for my mental health. I do not plan on going back to these platforms, so if tumblr goes down, I'm going to be only on non social media.
Maybe if one of the new social medias being created, actually take off (like bluesky or pillowfort or whatever else these days) I might join, but if not I might be entirely on personal websites, patreon (I will start posting regularly like a blog and make more free posts), some old websites I deleted but not because I hated them (such as ko-fi, which I deleted due to inactivity) and possibly furaffinity. I'm still on the fence about furaffinity. I might also finally start using my toyhouse but that is an oc sharing website and not much of an art sharing website.
I really do hope Tumblr doesn't go down, this is my one social media and if it does go down I am going to lose nearly all of my audience. I can make do by creating a personal blog and using whatever I have left in terms of "can post my art there and people can find me", and it won't discourage me from making my personal projects. I can make do, and I will make do, but I don't really want to make do.
Anyways, that's all I have to say right now, I'll make a post later once I set up some alternative sites to find me at, but for now I want to give the heads up that if I'm gone, you're not gonna find me on twitter, Instagram, or whatever third option there is. I'm likely going to just make do, be offline more, and likely just become active on the discord servers I'm on.
#simon says#long post#i think#it looks long on mobile#anyways there it is#I'm gonna have to start learning html#im also really sad that i hate making videos so much because I probably would just go on youtube#but I know from experience that I am not becoming a youtuber entirely because I fucking hate making videos that much#i get tempted quite often to become a nice little art youtuber or go into a niche art video subcategory#personally fight against the things I hate about youtube by not doing those things#but I just hate video making too much to do that#i do NOT like my voice enough to edit it#i might consider live streaming again since I used to live stream but also hnng nah im not sure#I prefer live streaming to video making because I hate making scripted videos and I love the live aspect of streaming#but also do I really WANT to stream again or do I just want an audience from a platform where it's very easy to build an audience?#that one is gonna be up in the air for a while tbh#streaming is currently in 'im not sure how i feel about it' limbo and it may never leave#if I do decide to start live streaming again you will hear about it on my sick ass personal blog I have to code#because I'll probably unravel those mixed feeling and come to a decision likely long after tumblr disappears lmaoooo#edit:#also I would rather eat my arm off than ever go back to tiktok so rule that one out forever
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you know what? i'm gonna say it. i miss being seventeen. not for the "glory days," bc they weren't, by a country mile lol. if i had glory days i'd say they were in 2020. but i miss the electricity, the constant undercurrent of euphoria and deep plunging black. i miss the fight i had. i was literally known for being scrappy. i was self-destructive and coping poorly, but goddamn if i didn't burn bright and long. it took me until my twenties to finally start to fizzle out. does the candle with its wax melted down to the base of its glass cage miss when the wick was lit?
#she bork#it's not even that i'm tired of fighting necessarily. clearly. if i was i wouldn't miss it. i think i miss being ABLE to fight. now i just#don't feel like i have the grit i used to have. i'm not sure if it's bc i'm healthier mentally or bc my energy has just dissipated over time#but i miss taking hit after hit (metaphorically) and wiping the blood from my lip and standing again and raising my fists. i don't do that#anymore. and again even if it's bc i'm healthier i'm not sure it's a good thing that that stubbornness and grit is gone. is it automatically#better to seek the path of least resistance? i'm not sure.#maybe it's learned helplessness? idk i mean logically one person can only suffer so much before they learn it's better not to fight or that#fighting isn't even always possible. but i've always struggled. i've always gone head-first into these things and white-knuckled it and made#it through even if only w self-violence (which was often remarked upon as self-discipline). now i feel like i just flounder and flop and cry#like a fish w a wailing voice on the dock as it loses its breath. i really do think it's partially bc i'm sane now but somewhere inside me#that crazy flame still dances. and ik that bc from time to time i still feel the heat against the sides of the glass. maybe it's a lack of#confidence. maybe it's that ik now that it's impossible to hate yourself into a different better shape (both physically and mentally). but#it was so exciting to try. if i'm miserable regardless i'd at least rather be having fun.#furthermore it could also be that my chaos is no longer external. a lot of what i have going on is internal/physical and it's a daily thing.#fighting daily is a lot harder than fighting through my shitty relationship or that one season of volleyball that destroyed me mentally lol#(ik that sounds ridiculous but it was pretty fucking bad). i'm no longer fighting against other people or external circumstances that i feel#a need to prove myself against. i'm fighting my own body which has proven a tougher match than anticipated. bc how can i? i live here. i#cannot will my body to function. i can swim against the currents of my illness and often do. but that's less glamorous than punching walls#and running for miles like i used to. i want to break a hand. i want to run three miles in half an hour. i want to doll myself up for a#dance and spend the whole night driving w the windows down strung out on a cocktail of cortisol and dopamine. i want to live in the eye of#the hurricane again. and i never will. and it's good but i think it's made me soft.
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FREE FREE PALESTINE please watch in full
Keep boycotting, keep protesting, keep amplifying Palestinian voices, keep sharing and posting and keep dismantling Israel’s lies and propaganda. If you pray pray for Palestine, Sudan and Congo and always stay on the right side of history
#free palestine#pro palestine#gaza#share#help gaza#palestine#world#share this#current events#current#amplify palestinian voices#amplify this#amplify#please share#updates#Palestine update#uk against genocide#lgbt against genocide#lgbtq are pro palestine#israel is a terrorist state#israel is an apartheid state#from the river to the sea#support Palestine#keep boycotting#boycotting#boycott Starbucks#boycott McDonald’s#boycott dominos#boycott hp#noah shnapp
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wow fuck sag-aftra for screwing over video game voice actors
#sag-aftra#vas talking about forming their own union and i hope they do#because holy shit#sag-aftra didn't even just approve va ai voice use in video games#they also went so far as to fucking partner with an ai business (replica)#and claimed that they consulted vas about it but literally every video game va around is saying that they absolutely were NOT consulted#we may be looking at a va strike (current discussion is whether to strike or to just form a separate union for video game vas)#(because of how they are continually screwed over by the union)#look sag-aftra has done a lot of good for film/tv actors#i'm not going to deny that#super super important stuff like establishing work conditions and child actor's rights and protections against abuse#both on set and in audition rooms#but damn they really do keep screwing over video game vas
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