#Adult Swim fanfiction

[clyde49]

I've been writing Space Ghost fanfiction. If you don't want to leave Tumblr the fic is under the read more

“You know some days I wish we were just boring lesbians.”

Moltar was reeling after what he considered another epic battle with his nemesis Space Ghost. They saw each other by random chance in the parking lot of this, kinda dive buffet restaurant on the edge of town and Space Ghost had chased Moltar to an empty parking lot a few blocks down. They battled each other for a bit before once again they both got tuckered out and just crashed on the sidewalk. Space Ghost typically said some sort of weird shit afterwards but “boring lesbians” was a new one.

“What?”

Space Ghost just laid on his back looking up before gesturing his head to look at his adversary as much as he could without sitting up. He wasn't as scuffed up after the fight as Moltar wanted but he rarely was.

“Like, some days I wish we could both be mundane women who love each other and sit around watching movies or whatever lesbians do. Instead of just doing this every time we see each other outside of work. Like don't get me wrong I love combat to the death until we both get tired, but like. In another life we are probably both just people who love each other instead of freaks that beat each other up.”

“If we were boring lesbians we'd both wish we were aliens freaks beating eachother up.”

There was a moment of silence before Space Ghost responded.

“You think so?”

“Trust me. I've talked to enough lesbians, most of them I've met want to be kaijus.”

Moltar let it bubble in his head that none of his problems would really go away if he was a human woman. if anything he'd have more problems. He'd still worry about his family hating him and social awkwardness and his job. He just knows he'd get in more trouble when he sets shit on fire. Supervillains always get more mileage out of crime than normal people.

“It's a “grass is always greener” thing, Ghost. Plus I don't think there's anything lesbians can do that we can't.”

Moltar looked back at where Space Ghost was only to see that he was starting to stand back up.

“That's true, but It would be nice to just hang out for once. Watch a movie or play a board game or something.”

“We can hang out, I'm busy tomorrow but-”

“What are you doing tomorrow?”

Moltar processed if Space Ghost was just really curious about his schedule or accusing him of planning something illegal. Regardless, the shithead was walking towards him.

“Me and the boys were going to the arcade. They got this new fish game we are all excited to try.”

“Could I come with you?”

“Dude it's going to be like, Zorak and Metallus.”

“I know them.”

Moltar let out a heavy sigh as the disaster of how bringing Space Ghost as a one plus would go formed in his imagination. Zorak was more than enough to worry about. Moltar knew if he brought both the bug and the ghost to the arcade with him that the “Fishmaster XD: Fish of Darkness” machine wouldn't make it long enough for anyone to enjoy the new game.

“They don't like you. Technically, I don't even like you. If anything I hate you more than I hate most people.“

Space Ghost was hovering over Moltar at that point and Moltar could tell by the sad sack look on his face he was debating between helping him up, kicking him while he was down or just leaving.

“Would you like me if I was normal?”

Moltar laughed at that one.

“I wouldn't even look at you if you were normal.”

The Ghosts expression softened.

“Well I'm glad I'm Space Ghost then.”

Space Ghost offered Moltar a hand and Moltar graciously took the support as he stood back up himself.

For a while they just stood there together, looking at each other. Space Ghost always had this faint, almost glow to him. Moltar didn't have an exact word for it, but it was like he had VHS warmth filtered over his personal aura. Moltar knew himself to also be glowing and warm on the inside, underneath his hazard suit, but most people wouldn't know that. The Ghost would, but most people wouldn't. Space Ghost broke the silence after a long moment.

“How often do we do this?”

“Huh?”

“Our whole “fighting randomly in public” thing?”

“I think this is the fifth time in three months.”

Space Ghost seemed to look over at nothing before looking back at Moltar.

“Hey Moltar, did you eat dinner before we started this? because I didn't and I'm still hungry. If anything I'm hungrier now. How about you?”

Moltar would never admit it but he was really glad Space Ghost asked.

“yeah sorry about that, I haven't eaten yet either. I just saw ya and.”

“You threw a fireball at me and yelled a lot so I started chasing you, and we both know the rest.”

“Yeah”

“Yeah”

Space Ghost started doing that dumb little smile he always did when a thought somehow snuck into his brain without shriveling up on the way in and had been flourishing for a bit in his empty skull.

“You know Moltar, if you're still hungry, I'll buy for us both. if you would want to share a table with me”

Moltar would never admit this either, but even after everything, he felt giddy about the idea of dinner with Space Ghost.

“Eh, why not, as long as you're buying.”

“I have more than enough cash for two all-you-can-eat meals and a good tip. Plus I've got some ones if you want to try their crane machine game.”

“I've tried it, it kinda sucks but I'll gladly waste your money on it anyway.”

They both looked around the empty parking lot they found themselves in.

“Ok, what direction was the restaurant again?”

Moltar hummed to himself a bit.

“I have no idea.”

[projectklokikon]

POCKET KLOKIKON 2024

The Metalocalypse Zine 'Pocket Klokikon' 2024 Edition is now available to view for free!

THANK YOU TO ALL OF THE ARTISTS AND WRITERS WHO HAVE CONTRIBUTED! We have had a huge turnout for this zine and it was very much worth the wait. I hope you guys enjoy!

-Dyllion

[shanair]

Rick and Morty X F!Reader | S1E6

Episode Name- Rick Potion #9

Word Count- 4,398

Morty and I stand around at our lockers at school, I scroll on my phone as he gets his stuff. Principal… Vagina speaks overhead on the intercom. Man, our school is a joke.

“Principal Vagina here, don't let the name fool you, I'm very much in charge, reminding you that tonight is our annual flu season dance. I don't know how many times I have to say this but if you have the flu, stay home, the flu season dance is about awareness, not celebration. You don't bring dead babies to Passover.”

I find myself snickering at what probably wasn’t meant to be a joke. I look up at the sound of Morty slamming his locker shut to look over at Jessica, whom her friends had just approached. He doesn’t look in my direction, but I know what he’s going to do- god that idiot needs to stop trying to get with her, it’s so sad to watch.

“Ohhh. Okay, here we go.” I hear him psych himself up, I should stop him. Butttt, sad or not it’s entertaining. He walks over to her nervously. “H-Hey, Jessica, uhh-”

“What's up, Morty?” She greeted before sneezing. Morty stutters again but Brad doesn’t give him the chance to respond. He swings Jessica behind him with his arm, I scoff audibly.

“What are you doing?” He butts in, already up in Morty’s face. I push myself off the locker to stand near Morty.

“Ummm…” Morty stammered.

“Wait, wait. Were you about to talk... to her?” Brad points to Jessica.

“Well, I mean, I was thinking about it.”

“Dude-” Brad taps Morty’s chest, “stay in your league! Look at how hot she is! You don't see me going to a bigger school in a wealthier district and hittin' on their prettiest girl!” Jessica sighs and lets Brad lead her away, I hear her sarcastically mutter.

“Gee, thanks, Brad.”

“I throw balls far. You want good words, date a languager.” Brad yaps as he walks off with Jessica. At least she seemed, happier talking to Morty? I guess? I wrap my arm around Morty, grinning at him.

“Oh don’t worry about it too much, Morty. She’ll dump him soon enough after she’s done with his bullshit.”

“W-well that’s easy for you to say. I don’t want her later, I want her now- so I can go to the dance with her!” He sighs. He does make a good point, I shrug at him.

“Be realistic! There is no way you can make her like you right now. Can we go now?”

“Fine, fine.” He swats my arm off as we go to class.

. . .

I follow Rick into the kitchen as he gets something to drink, Dad stands behind the counter making a complex sandwich while Morty sits solemnly in front of him, with a plate of cookies. 

“...I remember feeling that way about a young lady named your mom, and that's not an urban dis, your mom was my Jessica. I remember the first time I saw her, I thought…”

“--I should get her pregnant, then she'll have to marry me” Rick interjects as he grabs a glass and opens the fridge, I walk over to Morty and steal a cookie. He’s too sad to care, score!

“I beg your pardon, Rick, inappropriate.” Dad warned as he pointed to Morty and I.

“Sorry, please proceed with your story about banging my daughter in high school,” Rick rolled his eyes, “I'm not sure you want to take romantic advice from this guy, Morty, his marriage is hanging from a thread.”

“My marriage is fine, thank you.” Dad replied defensively, turning around fully to Rick as he walked up.

“Jerry, it's your house, whatever you say it is is how it is, but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care and even I noticed.”

“Rick that’s harsh,” I add, Morty tacks on.

“Come on, Rick, don't talk about our parents like that.”

“Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science. At least your sister isn’t pinning over a rando anymore.” Rick monologued before leaving the room with his juice. As much as I like to be the better sibling I am still pinning, but at least not to Morty’s level. Don’t know if I should be disappointed or proud of his tenacity. The silence drags out as Dad walks over to us.

“Alright, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance.” Morty said awkwardly before leaving his seat. Dad looks at me awkwardly.

“Yeah, I'm just going to...check on your mom.” He walks off too, both of them leaving me alone in the kitchen. 

“And they both left perfectly good food.” I comment at the discarded cookies and sandwich, I ponder skipping the dance and just sitting here but Morty shouldn’t suffer alone.. I guess. I finish up the cookies while I wait for Morty to finish getting ready. 

Once he’s out of our room I take the chance to get ready myself. I sit on my side of the room, taking my time to get dressed. I don’t care about this dance but I might as well look nice. Besides, maybe Olivia will be there. I’m not a big dress person but I put on an old one that Summer had, I could almost hear her when she gave it to me. ‘What and you’re so skinny then? Fine! You have it then, I don’t care!’, and then she ran out of the room crying. It wasn’t my fault, she asked how it looked on her and I said snug- oh. Yeah, I see why, oops. My dilemma ends when I realize I had zoned out thinking about that memory and now I’m ready. 

I walk to Rick’s garage, knowing that’s where Morty probably was, and I was right. My face dropped as I saw Morty as he was starting to zip his fly down, Rick was leaned over a machine near him with his back towards me. Morty gives me a dumbfounded face, I scrunch mine up in aversion.

“Am I interrupting, or???” I ask cautiously, Morty pulls it back up.

“Rick needed DNA.” He shrugs and Rick shakes his head before turning back to Morty.

“A hair, Morty, I needed one of your hairs! This isn't Game Of Thrones.” He plucks a hair from Morty. Morty shrieked quietly as Rick plucked a strand off his head. He shoves the hairpiece into the machine which deposits an orangey substance into a flask.

“What is this for exactly?” I question while walking to take a better look.

“Your brother wanted to make a love potion, so I used the oxytocin from voles combined with his DNA to concoct this.” Rick picks up the flask, handing it to Morty. “Alright, Morty, whoever you smear this stuff on will fall in love with you, and only you, forever. Ya happy now, Morty?” He walks away to sit back on his desk.

“Heck yeah! Thank you, Grandpa Rick!” Morty cheered as he took the potion happily. “Hey there's no dangers or anything or side effects, right?”

“Www.. what am I, a hack?! Go nuts, Morty, it's full proof.”

“Are you sure, Rick? Positive that nothing will go wrong? No small tiny details?” I push. Knowing Rick there has got to be something iffy about this. You can’t just mess around with love that delicately. Morty tugs on my arm as Rick turns back over.

“W-what are you going to doubt Rick’s invention? Let’s go! Jessica is waiting for me!” Morty frowned as he pulled me out of the room. Oh boy.

. . .

“This isn’t a good idea Morty!” I insist as we walk around the dance looking for Jessica.

“Shh! You’re just jealous… Oh! There she is!” Morty smiled. He pulled the potion out and smeared it on his hands. I sigh and accept he’s going to do this. I instead glance around the gym. It was decently packed, who knew a dance about flu prevention would have no physical aspects to enforce flu prevention? Eh, our school is a shithole anyway. Oh no, our school is a shithole. I can already feel myself worrying about catching the flu again, sure I have the shot, but these kids probably have an advanced strain that’ll mutilate my immune system. I wonder how many people have already spread it around. 

“Hey there, Jessica” Morty reaches Jessica, pretending to trip as he smears the potion on her exposed arm. “Whoops!”

She turns around, I can see the change in her demeanor as she grabs him close to her.

“Omigod, Morty. You look really nice tonight.”

“O-Wow, thanks!”

“I love you, Morty. I love you so much it burns!” I cringe as she starts caressing his face.

“Oh, man. I love you too, Jessica!” Morty smiled like an idiot up at her while Brad shoved in between the two.

“Is this punk bothering you, Jessica?!”

“Leave him alone, jerk!” Jessica hissed as she lost her shit. She gets up in Brad’s face aggressively. “I'm in love with him! He's more man than you will ever be!” She sneezes into his face. Yeah, sure she’s trying to defend Morty, but she could have at least covered when sneezing.

Brad’s face contorts a little before merging into remorse, surprisingly. He sighs.

“Aw man, Morty, ugh, I'm really sorry.”

“Oh, well, no problem Brad.” Morty replied, equally confused as I am. I see him glance over at me and I shrug in return.

“There's somethin' special bout you, somethin' special.” Brad hugs Morty before squeezing his ass. Something’s not right here.

“Whoa, take it easy!” Morty shouted as he pushed Brad off. Jessica grabs Morty’s left arm, narrowing her eyes at Brad.

“Get your hands off of him!” She screeched.

“Back off I'm trying to be with my man!” Brad shouted back before Principal Vagina and Mr. Goldenfold pull him off.

“That's enough Bradley. We don't want you injuring your ball-throwing arm.” Principal Vagina said as they dragged Brad off.

“Never leave me, Morty, never.” Jessica pulls Morty with her and I grab him. I see her glare daggers at me.

“Morty, you need to end this now. I have a bad feeling.” I whisper to him in a hushed voice. I overhear Brad's calling out for Morty as he’s brought out of the gym. “See?” Morty gives me a nervous look before Jessica intervenes.

“You have a problem, bitch?!” She gets in my face, pushing Morty behind him. “You want him too?! You can’t have him! You can never have him– or take him away from me.”

“Jesus Christ Jessica no I do not want to… take Morty away from you, I just want to talk to him.” 

“LIAR!” She shouted before grappling me.

“Jessica stop it!” I hear Morty protest, and other students look at us strangely. I throw Jessica to the ground but she immediately stands up, running at me like a madman. Okay why is it always Morty getting us into these situations, I can’t even go a week peacefully. But I’m his sister, so today cannot be the day where I start ditching him. So of course, I square up.

. . .

Jessica ends up shoving me into the crowd, and one of her friends catches me. She fucking growls at me before turning back to Morty. She pushes herself up against him. 

“Do it, Morty. Do it. Rip my clothes off and mate with me for life!”

“Jessica, get a hold of yourself!” The friend cried out before dropping me and rushing up to Morty to hold him as well. “You don’t deserve to carry Morty’s genes.” Simultaneously, everyone surrounding the fight gets the same possessive look in their eyes. I’m pushed back as even the DJ starts to sing about Morty.

“I love Morty and I hope Morty loves me I'd like to wrap my arms around him and feel him inside me”

“Oh, crap. Morty!” I shout over the crowd as they all crowd and fight each other for Morty. I get trampled partially as I push against the rushing crowd into the opening. The exit pushes open behind me and I look up to see Rick.

“(Y/N)!” Rick steadies me as he sees Morty sprinting towards us, the crowd scrambling behind him. “Morty, come on! We got to get you out of here. You're not gonna believe this because it usually never happens, but I made a mistake.” He shuts the door as we rush past, and the doors are immediately rammed into by the horny crowd. 

Another door bursts open as Principal Vagina runs behind us.

“Morty, are you okay?”

“I'm fine!” He shouts back.

“Oh, good. If anything ever happened to you, I would kill myself. I love you bad, mo-mo!”

“Ha! You got Mr. Vagina in love with you Morty! M-maybe I am jealous!” I grin through my labored breath. Jeez, this dress is not the running kind.

“Morty, the principal, and I have discussed it, a-a-and we're both insecure enough to agree to a three-way!” Another voice speaks out, I turn around and see Mr. Goldenfold. My eyebrows rise at the prospect but we make it outside. We rush into the ship, Morty trips but I turn him over into the seat. As I grip the handle to pull shut, the crowd pushes it in for me. The vehicle shakes as we settle in. 

“I didn't realize when I gave you that serum that Jessica had the flu you know, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-that might have been valuable information for me, Morty.” Rick groaned as he started the ship.

“What the hell is going on, Rick?!” Morty and I ask. Rick glared at our combined question.

“What does it look like? T-t-t-the serum is piggybacking on the virus. It's gone airborne.”

“Oh, crap. What are we gonna do, Rick?” Morty wailed.

“It's gonna be fine, Morty, relax. I whipped up an antidote. It's based on praying mantis DNA. You know, praying mantises are the exact opposite of voles, Morty. I mean, they-they mate once, and then they, you know, decapitate the partner. I mean, it's a whole ritual. It's really gruesome and totally opposite. There's no love at all. I-I-I basically mixed this with a more contagious flu virus. It should neutralize the whole thing, Morty. It'll all be over very shortly.” We fly over the crowd below after Rick pours his antidote into the ship as it expels a mist version over the crowd. “Uh, by the way, Morty, I know you didn't ask or anything, but I'm not interested in having sex with you. These serums, they don't work on anybody related to you genetically.”

“Uhm, obviously!” I retort. “I think we’ve picked up on that. Wait, considering Morty and I are twins, why aren’t they attracted to me?” 

“Y-you guys aren’t technically identical twins. You two share most of the same DNA initially, but when your chromosomes changed to XX instead of XY that’s a biggg difference.”

“Is it?”

“Ya, because I said so–”

“OH MY GOD!” Morty screeched, startling me as he stared in horror outside the window. I look out it also, everyone hit by the ‘antidote’ turned into an amalgamation of a praying mantis. Rick grimaced himself. 

“Okay, well, sometimes, science is more art than science, twins. A lot of people don't get that.”

. . .

We had parked the ship in a desert canyon. We stand and watch different broadcasts across the world looking for Morty so they can have sex with him before chopping his head off. He paces and freaks out.

“Oh, my god, Rick. The whole world is infected!”

“Yeah, it's pretty wild how fast that spread. I've really outdone myself.” Rick gloats, working on something else connected to the ship.

“Outdone yourself?! W-w a-are are you kidding me, Rick? This is not okay! Not only do they all want to have sex with me, but, you know, now they want to eat me afterwards!”

“Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. Mantises are they opposite of voles? I mean, obviously, DNA's a little more complicated than that. You know what, though, Morty?” He pulls out another vial, this one filled with a purple liquid. “This right here's gonna do the trick, baby. It's koala mixed with rattlesnake, chimpanzee, cactus, shark, golden retriever, and just a smidge of dinosaur. Should add up to normal humanity.”

“I don't that doesn't make any sense, Rick. How does that add up to normal humanity?” 

“What, Morty, you want me to show you my math? I'm sorry a-are you the scientist or are you the kid that wanted to get laid?”

“It’s not his fault for being cautious, first you left out important information after we specifically asked for it, then you mess up fixing that mistake and start an apocalypse! Clearly, you don’t know what you’re doing!” I fuss, and Rick sighs obnoxiously.

“Okay, fine, whatever. Since you’re the smartass, you can make a serum to end this.” I stay quiet because I in fact know nothing about what he’s doing. “Exactly, get in the car.” We pile back in before flying back into civilization. The town is already wrecked, fire and destruction everywhere. It’s scary how fast this happened. I’m starting to get nervous now, what if Rick really can’t fix this? He nudges my shoulder. “Take a good look down there, (Y/N), and soak it in, because, you know, once I pull this lever, it's all back to normal.”

“I hope so. Just do it already.”

“Well, technically, (Y/N), there's no rush. I mean, you know, o-once it's fixed, it's done. It's fixed. You know, we could we could just enjoy it for a little bit. I mean, l-l-l-look at how crazy it is. I mean, (Y/N), w-w-when's the next time you're gonna see something like this? I mean, soak it in, you know? It's it's pretty neat. It's pretty interesting.”

“Please shut up–”

“That's it, Rick! I'm pulling the lever.” Morty yells as he pulls the lever, releasing the new antidote. Everyone melts back to normal.

“W-what do we have here, twins? Looks like I was right and you were wrong, huh? I-I-I-I-I-I-I bet you feel pretty stupid right about now, huh? I-I-I bet you both feel like the world's smallest kids that you were doubting me about this whole thing.”

“Oh, Rick,”

“Something's not right.” I exhale as everyone outside starts to crumble down to the ground. Their bodies convulse unnaturally.

“Yeah, you. You're not right ever.”

“No, no! Look, you idiot!” I force Rick to look outside. Everyone screamed as they turned into these fleshy bug-looking creatures. Many with extra appendages, eyes, and some even wings. 

Morty and I watch in horror as Rick once again screws up everything. Albeit this idea was Morty’s, Rick could have stopped this if he had just warned us in the beginning.

“Bet you're loving this. This must be the best day of your life. You get to be the mayor of I told you town. You're welcome.” Rick babbled drunkenly as he drank more from his flask. 

Holy shit. This is irreversible, isn’t it? The world is in ruins because of Morty’s stupid hormones. Everything is different now, it’s unfixable. What’s happening with our family right now? What if they got ripped apart by those… things? The sun rises on the broken world as we settle down on a rooftop. We walk out to sit on the ledge.

“Boy, I really cronenberged the world up, didn't I? We got a whole planet of cronenbergs walking around down there. Hey, Morty. A-at least they're not in love with you anymore, though. That's a huge step in the right direction.

“Oh, my god! It's a living nightmare! How could you be so irresponsible, Rick?” Morty cried.

“Me irresponsible?! You- all I wanted you to do was hand me a screwdriver, Morty! You're the one who wanted to be wanted me to buckle down and make you up a... roofie-juice serum so you could roofie that poor girl at your school. I mean, g w-w-w-w-w w are you kidding me, Morty? You're gonna try to take the high road on this one? Y-y-y-y-you're a little creep, Morty. Y-you're a you're you're you're just a little creepy... creep person.” Rick lectured as he stood up. Fine, Morty was a creep, is a creep. But Rick is still the ass here.

“All right, fine. I should have just listened to you when you refused to make the serum. I'm willing to accept my part of the blame for this, Rick. But I'll tell you something you know what? You got to accept your part of the blame! I'm not the one who fooled up the serum! I'm not the one who-who-who-who haphazardly, you know, mixed a bunch of nonsense together and created a bunch of cronenbergs! You got to fix this, Rick!” Morty yells defensively as he stands up as well.

“Yeah, Rick! Fix this! There are millions– no billions of lives that are now destroyed because of your crappy serum! Okay? This one is on, you!” I stand up as well, crossing my arms. I now realize how messed up my dress is but in a less torn fashion than Morty’s. I cannot believe I’m saying this but, I miss Summer. Rick steps closer to us, trying to reconcile.

“All right, all right, Morty. You know, w-w-w-we are in a pretty deep hole, here, but I do have one emergency solution that I can use that'll kind of put everything back to normal, relatively speaking. Here, Morty, put this on while I do a little bit of scouting.” Rick tosses Morty this metal backpack with a green panel, before putting on goggles. This better be a good plan.

. . .

IT WAS NOT A GOOD PLAN!!! Morty and I freak as we walk through a portal into a different dimension. Three identical bodies to our own lay mangled on the ground, blood everywhere.

“Oh, my god, Rick!” I cover my mouth in shock and fear as the metallic smell rushes into my face.

“Is that us?! W-w-w-we're dead! What is going on, Rick? I'm freaking out!” Morty cried hysterically.

“Calm down, you two!” Rick shouted but we tuned him out.

“Oh my god, oh my god. I can’t do this– I cannot, do this.” I pace around while Morty makes more noises of disgust combined with fear.

“I can't deal with this, Rick!” Morty shook his head as Rick grasped him.

“Calm down, Morty!” Rick shook him as I grabbed a trash can and promptly vomited into it. My eyes are pricked with tears at the brutality and the sickly feeling in my stomach.

“This can't be real!”

“You got to calm down, Morty.” Rick reiterates as I retch more, standing up I move over to the two.

“Rick! W-w-w-we-we’re ripped apart!” I stammer, he reaches over and grabs my head before knocking it into Morty’s. The shock shuts us up as he makes us focus on him.

“Shut up and listen to me! It's fine. Everything is fine. There's an infinite number of realities, and in a few dozen of those, I got lucky and turned everything back to normal. I just had to find one of those realities in which we also happen to all die around this time. Now we can just slip into the place of our dead selves in this reality and everything will be fine. We're not skipping a beat, twins. Now, help me with these bodies.”

“This is insane.” Morty muttered as he crouched down near ourselves. Rick hauls up his own body.

“Look, guys, I'll grab myself, you grab yourselves, okay? I mean, t-t-t-that seems fair to me I mean, that seems like a fair way to divvy it up.”

“Rick, what about the reality we left behind?” I sniffed as I walked over to my body. Her eyes were still open and bulged out like they were looking straight at me. Rick’s voice droned in my head as he spoke.

“What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, (Y/N)? The answer is don't think about it. It's not like we can do this every week, anyways. We get three or four more of these, tops. Now, pick up your dead self and come on. Haste makes waste. I-I-I don't suppose you've considered this detail, but obviously, if I hadn't screwed up as much as I did, we'd be these guys right now, so, again, you're welcome.”

I suppressed my feelings as Morty and I followed Rick’s orders. We picked up our bodies, dragging them to the backyard. With every step, I felt not like myself, as if I was pushing my consciousness away. It was like I was a bystander, watching myself as I pulled another version of myself. As I dig the grave and push my body into it. I’m thinking of the God complex we must have as people. What of everyone in this universe? They’re the exact same, but they aren’t. Mom, Dad, Summer. They’re the same people, but not our people. We left our family in the universe we ruined. No goodbyes, or even anything to show that we’re okay– to see that they’re okay. The fact that we can do something like this… it’s abhorred. We’re going to live with this family that lost us, what gives us the right to replace them? Walking into the untouched home, I can tell Morty shares the same daze that I’m in. Our parents argue and shout at each other, but the only thing I hear is the ringing in my ears. The only thing I can truly see is my body staring up at me. Rick sits on the couch, unbothered next to a different Summer. Sitting next to her is strange. Everything’s okay now, we left that universe behind, and now, we can carry on with ourselves. Rick must be right, this is the best outcome we could get in our situation, right?

[princess-lvcifer]

[rayo1-productions]

The Smiling Friends Join the CNU!

These four were so fun to work on, and I think as far as translation goes, it looks good too.

I did have to give Pim a nose, unfortunately, but it's so tiny and recessed that you can barely see it. That's the only flaw here, I'm sure of it.

If you're enjoying what you see and would like a piece like this, feel free to reach out! Commissions are currently OPEN! Don’t hesitate to drop me a message in DMs for commissions, and I'll reach back out to you as soon as possible!

[universallydestinytaco]

The Little Smiling Mermaid (Chapter 6)

🌊 THANK YOU to all my 150 followers! Sorry, I didn’t get to draw an illustration this week BUT the wonderful @oskidontle had blessed me with this lovely fanart of Mer!Pim (thank you again), Please follow them and check out their own awesome Smiling Mermaids AU!✨

Charlie and Mipnessa got along swimmingly enough for two people who just met each other that day…unless, Charlie pondered, if they just-so happen to have already met! Charlie took note of how Mipnessa vaguely resembled the mystery person of whom he recalled rescuing him that morning…and while he wasn’t quite sure at first, he figured it wouldn’t hurt to try and potentially refresh her memory; He also had a string gut feeling that it wouldn’t be wise to potentially out her as one of the elusive merfolk out of politeness….if not being proven wrong and labeled as a silly-hearted daydream-believer. Charlie ran back to his quarters to swipe the green cloak that was left behind to gently fold it up, then he started rummaging through his closet for a perfectly-sized decorative shoebox to place inside of as a grandiose gesture to Mipnessa before running back to bequeath the gift. “Y’know I have a funny hunch that this is something you’d totally look great in.” The flattered Mipnessa giggled in response: “Showering me with gifts already? You must take a fancy to me.” Feeling overwhelmed with butterflies in his stomach, Charlie blushed with a nervous grin. Mipnessa opened the box and held up the cloak, while she admired the deep emerald green shade, she couldn’t exactly pinpoint what fabric was used for it or could she figure out why it smelled like the brine of clam chowder. “It’s beautiful, and it matches my dress way better than the shawl I’m wearing too.” Charlie replied with a fairly obvious double-meaning: “A match made in heaven.” as he held her hand and proposed: “Perfect for an atmospheric afternoon-to-evening stroll, lemme show you to the outskirts of the palace, the sunset views are amazing out there!”

Meanwhile, Alan had just caught up with the rest of the party as an eagerly-lovestruck Pim alongside a curious Glep followed Graham Nelly to the crisp shore nearby Prince Charlie’s castle. “I can’t wait to see his cute face again!” Pim squealed in delight while fidgeting his hands, Alan sternly reminded him with a business-like tone to mask his anxiety: “We’re here to fetch back your cloak, so that nobody could recognize you and drag you back to that toxic, discourse-infested mess of a palace; We also really shouldn’t stay up here for too long lest we want to be some crazed stowaway’s four-course meal.” Pim’s glee briefly turned into annoyance as he was tempted to roll his eyes at his paranoid friend’s repetitive jargon had it not been for the fact that unlike his family, Alan’s “survival mode”-demeanor was out of genuine concern and love rather than blind bigotry over land folk. When the group made it to their destination, they would come to find that much to their surprise, Charlie was indeed out-and-about, bringing an unexpected guest with him for a neat little walk by the sparkling sapphire waves. While the party of sea critters hid behind the conveniently large rock while observing the scene from a far, they all quickly took notice that the lady accompanying Charlie was wearing an accessory all too familiar to Pim, who shook his head in disbelief before taking another look to find that Charlie was clearly flirting with with her as well. While Alan started discussing a plan to swipe the cloak with Graham, Glep took notice how his buddy Pim was doing. “My cloak…” Pim quietly uttered while overwhelmed with a flurry of mixed emotions, flashing between shock, confusion, hurt feelings and jealously all boiling down into unbridled fury. Glep never saw Pim this angry since that time he was just a teenager and his sister Amy tore the lock on his diary and blurted out all his secrets, including who he was crushing on at the time. Something REALLY must have struck a cord with the usually understanding and compassionate mercritter…

Graham proposed: “We could, like, wrangle a bunch of dolphins together to create a huuuuge wave and splash it right on her so that Prince guy can offer to hang it up for her and when they leave we can snag it from a clothes line, concrete plan!” Alan argued in a snippy-yet-monotone inflection: “Yeah but there’s no clothes line anywhere near water, besides, it would take us all night to achieve that plan anyways.” Graham then got another bright idea: “I know JUST the thing, dude. I have in my collection and it’s this neat tool called a grappling hook! It’s what land folks use to retrieve items from far-away.“ Alan rolled his eyes with an exasperated yawn. “Oh really? Go off I guess.” Graham happily explained: “It’s this long-ass stick with a string attached and at the end of the string it’s a hook! and you toss it far enough and the hook catches-“ he was cut off by a loud, panicked gasp from the horrified Alan, who furiously chided Graham while using his claws as gestures to express his disgust: “You keep a literal weapon used for catching and eating our kind?!! What in Davy Jones’ locker is the matter with you?!” Graham casually shrugged, replying: “I’ve only ever seen something like this being used to catch fish only to throw them back, like they kept catching fish but it’s obvious that she was trying to retrieve something she lost down there.” Alan stood there dumbfounded with his left eye twitching for a few seconds, until he broke silence with a sigh with one claw on his face, “Look, It would just be easier for one of us to sneak up to that lady and quietly snag the cloak away from her.” Graham cheered: “That’s it!” Alan realized exactly what he had in mind and groaned: “Alright, I understand now that I have to put my big-boy shell on.” Glep piped up: “Eskewazebewaboyo!”, Pim’s face perked up at the suggestion. Graham agreed: “Hell yeah! They’ll be too distracted to notice Alan, they’ll be all like: Oh, where is that heavenly sound coming from? Ha! It’ll be a synch!” Alan gulped, “Well, here goes nothing.”

During the conversions Charlie ignited while subtly prying for clues, he had realized that Mipnessa wasn’t the mystery critter. First off, she knew how to swim but preferred to go sailing over swimming. Second she does sing but her voice was rather different from what he had in mind BUT she did play the lute well. Lastly and most glaringly obvious of all was that she had just embarked on Eustace’s ship at the same time the rescue took place and was still miles away from Gremblonia. That being said, Charlie was perfectly content with having Mipnessa as a bride, she may have not been an exotic dream girl but she was a charmingly meek and proper lady whose lute could harmonize well with his ocarina! “You know Mipnessa, I could take you sailing on our ship and go on one of my wild adventures out at sea, maybe we’ll take on a kraken or get into a gang fight with pirates.” Charlie proposed in a suave tone, in response Mipnessa sheepishly loosened up the green cloak ‘round her shoulders, replying: “…y’know, maybe I would like that.” for a brief moment that felt like forever, the two locked eyes and gazed at each other’s presence for what felt like forever. As the sunset started melting into nighttime, the most angelic voice made it’s way to the couple’s eardrums, snapping them out of their trance. Charlie started running around frantically looking for the sound as Mipnessa’s curiosity peaked, joining him as she didn’t pay any mind to Alan’s pincer clinging onto the cloak slipping off of her shoulders. Once the cloak was freed from Mipnessa’s grasp, Alan scurried back fast he could before they’d notice. Meanwhile back behind “home base”, Pim peaking behind as he vocalized his feelings with a warm, sweet a capella with a noticeable tang of seductive amour and just a hint of bitter jealousy; This was Pim’s subtly, classy way of saying out-loud: “That boy is MINE, you got nothing on me you basic bitch!!”. Just as Alan made it to just inches away from water, the lobster tripped on a pebble and got tangled up in the shawl and tried to wriggle his way out. Pim took notice, stopped what he was doing and immediately swam to the scene to finish the job.

Just then Mipnessa realized something was missing. “Oh dear, my cloak!” Charlie blushed upon seeing Mipnessa’s curvy frame accentuated by her sleeveless dress, but quickly snapped out of it. “D-don’t worry, it’s probably back where we left off.” Charlie stumbled back to where he and Mipnessa where viewing the sunset, what he discovered was more than just the cloak itself: it was none other than the mystery critter who rescued him, half-submerged in water while clad in a seashell bra, freeing what looked like a lobster that somehow got trapped inside before taking back what was rightfully theirs. Charlie stood there and froze in shock, asking himself if he was just seeing things or he was trapped in some sort of dream, as he rubbed his eyes in disbelief, the mystery critter already vanished. A tinge of guilt filled Charlie’s heart, as he wished he could have apologized for giving her cloak away, but his thoughts broke as Mipnessa was calling for him to return. Charlie ran back and tried to explain what happened but all that came out was nervous gibberish that Mipnessa initially assumed was Spammish, until he blurted: “Damn lobster made off with the cloak!!” while shaking his fist. Mipnessa giggled: “Duke Eustace was right, you are a washed-up mess of a boy!” Charlie once again froze, embarrassed, until she nudged him a with a smile and reassurance: “At least you’re not some stuck-up old prune.”

~ Damien (and the rest of the search party) spent two days looking for Pim with a nagging conscience, he swore to Neptune if he found his littlest sibling, he’d work hard on being a better brother overall. Ironically, he found a patch of sea flowers to rest upon for the night, just as he was about to lie down he saw a short, cloaked figure picking the flowers, presumably for herbal use. “Pimberly, is that you?!” All he got in response was the laughter belonging to an elderly-sounding sea critter. “Oh deary, I’m afraid I’m not the lost Princess, I’m just an old botanist making medicine.” Damien’s heart sank, his pink skin turning grey at the reveal. “But, I have seen Princess Pimberly ‘round these corners.” Damien’s eyes widened with relief, begging: “Please, tell me where!” The old wisenheimer gave a concerning hint: “I’ve seen the Princess swimming in-and-out of this grotto hauling a satchel full of the most WORTHLESS crap!” Damien pressed for more answers: “So, where is this grotto?”

🐚

Chapter 7 Coming August 9th

[geckosquash2]

Future Ed headcanon because I miss Edward.

[aanxiousangel]

AANXIOUSANGEL © DO NOT FEED ANY OF MY WRITINGS TO AI PROGRAMS OF ANY SORTS; I DO NOT CONDONE THE USE OF AI. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

please refer to my pinned to stay updated, learn the rules, and further info!

𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐄 ── .✦

⮞ one piece.

𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 ── .✦

⮞ call of duty series.

𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 ── .✦

⮞ rick and morty.

𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐒 ── .✦

𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 ── .✦

𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐁𝐄 ── .✦

𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊 ── .✦

div.cr. anitelenia (heading) + drinkthesky (clouds)

[m1smatched-starsigns]

I have FINALLY hit my stride writing the next chapter of flesh and bone, and as an apology for leaving you all on That cliffhanger for eight months, here’s an excerpt from the next chapter!

(Contains a spoiler, so read at your own risk!)

“Do you think they’ll be expecting us?” Volepaw asks, speeding to catch up with Stormfur, Smokepaw right behind him. Hawkfrost after trails the apprentices.

“They should be. When we passed through the Tribe on our quest, I explained to Brook that we were returning to the forest to bring our Clans to their new homes.”

“Who’s Brook?” Hawkfrost asks, beating the apprentices to the question. Stormfur watches Splashpaw balance on a particularly jagged rock.

“She’s one of the Tribe cats.”

“New friend of yours?” Hawkfrost asks, not bothering to hide his suspicion.

Stormfur remembers how Feathertail teased him for his infatuation with Brook; she said she would tell Hawkfrost all about it. Now it occurs to Stormfur that nobody would’ve told Hawkfrost anything about Brook.

“Something like that,” Stormfur finally says.

“Look!” Volepaw cries, pointing his muzzle to the cliffside. Stormfur follows his gaze until his eyes land on a brown tabby cat, and a dark gray cat. Talon and Crag. Stormfur’s stomach flips itself inside out.

Ahead of the pack, Brambleclaw calls over his shoulder, “We’re here!”

--

It’s quickly decided that a few cats will run ahead to greet the Tribecats and explain their situation. Stormfur volunteers to hang back with Tawnypelt. Crowstrike, Squirrelflight, and Brambleclaw run on.

His friends return with a familiar face in tow.

“Stormfur,” Brook greets, her voice bright. She leans forward to touch noses, and after a moment’s hesitation, Stormfur leans forward as well. “It is good to see you again!”

Stormfur musters a smile and says, “We’ve brought a few extra cats with us this time.”

Brook’s gaze sweeps across the Clans. “I see that. The caves will be tight, but we can fit you all.”

“You don’t think the Stoneteller will mind?”

Brook shoots him a sly smile. “I know the Stoneteller won’t mind.”

“Brook is the Stoneteller, now,” Talon says, joining them. “Our father stepped down after you all left.”

Stormfur looks back at Brook, shocked. “Really? That’s-- That’s great, Brook! I mean, Stoneteller.”

“You can still call me Brook,” she says, a playful sparkle in her amber eyes. “I’ll allow it.”

She holds his eye for several long moments; Stormfur can’t find it in himself to look away from her. Brook is still as captivating today as she was when he first laid eyes on her. A familiar knot begins to twist inside his chest.

Several fox-lengths away, Hawkfrost’s fur starts to bristle.

[frank-bennedetto]

Hey everybody, this is my post where I politely ask everyone to check out @greetingsfromghostplanet my Toonami & Space Ghost Coast To Coast (and More) crossover fan comic

The art is honestly largely traced and or collaged, but it fits the style of Coast to Coast and my beta readers tell me the story more than makes up for it.

The plot is Toonami TOM being invited to Ghost Planet for Space Ghost's birthday party and comes face to face with the mystery surrounding his past, but he only has until midnight to find answers before he forgets the whole day.

If you are a fan of Rodger Rabbit cartoon meta, Cartoon Network crossover lore, or just silly toons experiencing melodrama, this is the fan comic for you

@greetingsfromghostplanet

[yatesmal91]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65400232

"Bertie Found"

An alternate take of the events of Bertie Unbound

[princess-lvcifer]

Rewatching Metalocalypse after 4 days of finishing it and TAKING NOTES every episode to psychoanalyze the characters and writing fanfics as if this shit was Attack on Titan or Game of Thrones is CRAZY but idk I'm doing it

[d33mize]

im gonna try 2 start posting here more‼️💥 i’m coming for u superjail fans i’m gonna scout u out and collect u like pokémon (please be my friend🛐)

[universallydestinytaco]

The Little Smiling Mermaid (Chapter 10)

Dig in, Charpim shippers, it’s about to get hella gay. 💖🌟

For a critter that wasn’t very vocal, Pim was very outgoing and friendly if not eccentric, nevertheless he made a good first impression with Charlie and his crew as they all sailed back home to the palace grounds where he joined in with the singing, dancing sailors. He couldn’t help but see Charlie and Mipnessa twirling around as a happily-arranged couple and feel forlorn, coupled with the loss of his voice and being unable to say what he wanted to say; Luckily Mr. Boss was there to comfort the stowaway, only if because he assumed Pim was upset for different reasons. “I bet you must have felt lonely being stranded on that shipwreck for only God knows how long.” said Mr. Boss, patting Pim on his back as the latter immediately remembered his friends from the sea he left behind to escape his intrusive family, making the former mer-critter’s eyes tear up from the impounding survivor’s guilt as well as everything else he felt. Pim immediatelly looked up at the old man with a crushed face full of heartbroken tears welling from his eyes. Mr. Boss was immediately touched, taking his handkerchief out of his pocket and wiping Pim’s tears, reassuring: “Don’t fret, I can see that you’ve already been making new friends on this ship, you’re gonna fit right in this family!” Pim gestured a “thank you” by immediately hugging Mr. Boss as tightly as possible, prompting the old man to let out a bashful chuckle and a pat on the head. “Her highness will definitely take a liking to you, you spunky lil’ rascal!”

…

Pim felt bizarrely liberated about having his own smaller body of foamy, floral-scented water all to himself. He also took immense stimulation with the decorative rubber ducky that could freely float by itself and squeak when squished. Pim enjoyed his first bath on land as Smormu happily shampooed his curly, hot pink locks while chit-chattering away about one of the crazy adventures Charlie and his buddies embarked on while at sea, a specific tale of when they vowed to steal back some of Queen Dolores’ most prized jewelry from the infamous pirate captain, Simon S. Salty, sparking a high-seas gang war that culminated into the near-death experience that was Charlie’s birthday bash. Pim was captivated by this turbulent tale and the more he listened, the moreso enchanted he was by Charlie as a person. Who knew the lovable dork was also a such a badass? After getting cleaned up and dressed, Smormu lead Pim to the dining hall to properly meet Queen Dolores. “A pity I don’t know your name yet, I’d totally make one of my bombastic introduction speeches! But hey, take your time and make yourself comfortable bestie!” chirped Smormu, who opened the door for Pim to reveal a stunning dining hall decorated with polished wooden furniture, flowers and gilded accents. Pim felt as if he was literally stepping into one of those fairytales he read about in the books he stashed in his grotto. The bashful critter curtseyed to the dining party consisting of Charlie, Mipnessa, Mr. Boss, Eustace and a delightfully surprised Queen Dolores. “Is this the stowaway you told me about, my dear grandson?” “Sure is! She’s not exactly the chatterbox type but she can dance! Lemme tell ya when we where sailing home she fit right in with my motley crew, we all thought she was life of the party!” Mipnessa suddenly started verbally reminiscing of her experience on the ship: “I sure loved that dance we shared when Thomas played on your ocarina! That was so romantic!” Charlie replied: “Yeah, that was fun, you’re a good dancer too Mip, who could forget when we where spinning each other around? It was all Shakespearean!” “Oh Charliekins, you’re my brave sea-faring buccaneer!” Pim couldn’t help but roll his eyes at Mipnessa’s fawning before walking up to Mr. Boss pulling out his seat. Eustace raised an eyebrow, asking Mr. Boss, “You found this girl out at sea, presuming she’s lone survivor of a shipwreck?” “Well, we couldn’t let her stay there and starve to death.” “You can’t just go around letting my nephew pick up random strangers he finds at sea, let alone random commoner women. She could be seducing Charlie away from Mipnessa for all we know.” Mr. Boss shook his head at the Duke in disapproval of his words, “It was my idea to save her, quit assuming Charlie’s nothing but impulses! Charlie might be a wild horse but he’s grown up into a brave and noble boy. He helped rescue that girl with me, he has his heart in the right place.” Eustace attested, “…and then that girl’s gonna somehow bear his- OH goodness gracious are you seriously using a fork like that?!” Mr. Boss took notice of Eustace’s sudden outburst as all eyes drew to Pim combing his hair with what his cousin Graham called “a dinglehopper”. Mipnessa stuck her nose up and looked away, “Hmph, that girl must be seriously confused.” Pim noticed the bewildered expressions on everyone, and froze in embarrassment. “What, I’m the only one around here who uses a fork as a comb when in a pinch?” Charlie blurted out, prompting Mr. Boss, Smormu and Queen Dolores to all burst into laughter. Mipnessa joined in with a small giggle and Pim smiled, reassured that he was far from the only weirdo in the room and there was no hard feelings.

~ Meanwhile, Alan just so happened to let his ever-so persistent anxiety nag him into sneaking into the Dompler’s castle to keep an eye on Pim. While he entered the wrong room via window sill much to his disappointment, he couldn’t deny that the kitchen smelled heavenly. Alan figured he’d scurry in as quickly as possible then sneak away to find Pim. He dramatically leaped onto the counter where he meant to look for another lower platform to hop onto, but found himself distracted by an alluring aroma coming from the yellowish-cubed stuff on that plate. Cheese was something of a rarity in the sea, whenever sea critters took a crack at making it it was more like cottage cheese or cream cheese. Depending on how it was made it would either be a lightly sweet and fresh taste from the creamy seal milk or it was a lumpy, plain-tasting, curdled milk disaster that one would only gift to another as some sort of cruel joke. Alan couldn’t help himself and tried at least one of the cheese cubes, taking one peck, Alan was blown away by the buttery nutty umami strongly contrasting to the light and refreshing dishes in the sea that would consist of rice, ocean greens and the occasional rich meatiness of the occasional roast sea beast. Alan just has to try some more and he was immediately hooked! While Alan snacked away at the land-dweller delicacy, he lost all awareness of his surroundings and lost himself in the savory bliss…all it took for the sea critter to fall from heaven and back down to earth was for his (sort-of) ears to pick up upon the surprise of hearing an agitated and raspy voice accusing him of pretending to “play possum” just so he’d steal all the cheese from the kitchen. When Alan looked up at where the voice accusing him of “putting smoke into (his) head”, his irises widened in alarm as he was greeted in a not-so friendly fashion by Chef Spitz, who swore he had been schmeckledorfed by the very lobster he was going to prepare for tonight’s dinner and by golly he wasn’t going to let him get away! Alan found himself scuttling away in a frenzy, cheese nestled safely in his claw, as Chef Spitz chased him around with his sword with the loud and repetitive ramblings of: “YOU’RE IN MY HEAD! GET OUTTA MY HEAD MAN!”

It wasn’t before long when the dining party caught wind of the chaos in the cook-shanty, drumming-up concerned speculation. “Oh dear, wonder if Chef Spitz found another mouse in the cabinets again.” said Queen Dolores. “Worse, what if he found another worm in the peanuts?” Eustace almost spat out his drink in disgust upon fearing what abomination they could have possibly found in the wine. Charlie’s all-too-familiar suspicion was raised, suggesting: “I’m gonna go and check, for all we know, he’s getting ambushed by one of Salty’s toadies again!” as he steeled himself and marched toward the hallway with his grandmother, uncle and fatherly-figure followed suit with Smormu tagging along at the tail end, giddy at the potential brawl brewing in the kitchen. All was left sitting down at the deserted table was the exotic-yet-silent stowaway with the flowing hot pink hair and the plain-yet-elegant princess and bride-to-be. Pim was mainly focused on his empty plate and cutlery while marveling at the reflective surface, not even expecting Mipnessa to break his attention by snickering. “I’d like to tell you a secret, between us ladies….” Pim’s curiosity brought his attention over to the red and gold-donning princess whose auburn hair was neatly stashed in a bun. “I’m well-aware of the fact that my pot-bellied oaf of a fiancé couldn’t possibly run a kingdom by himself without going the way of Louis XV, so I was arranged to be his bride so I can give this kingdom a leader they can depend on!” gossiped Mipnessa while giggling like a school girl while nudging a stunned Pim, expecting “her” to at least respond. The conversation was quickly tossed out the window once the ruckus from the kitchen transferred to the hallways and into the dining hall. Pim and Mipnessa witnessed Chef Spitz savagely chasing down a familiar lobster carrying a piece of cheese and aiming to shish-kabob him as the royals and servants tried to hold the frantic chef back from his fit of rage. Pim got up and immediately tried to intervene before the lobster flung himself from the window with a vague wail of agony: “I just wanted my cheeeese!”; Spitz was about to follow suit until Mr. Boss and Smormu grabbed him by the arms with the former chastising the chef for flying off the handle and nearly flying out the window. “Just let that creature go freely and cook a lobster that’s already dead! We have plenty to go around, no use losing your cool.” Spitz took a deep breath and placed the sword back in its sheath. Charlie couldn’t help but blurt out: “Ey Spitz, you’re kinda cute when you get angry!” Spitz rolled his eyes and made an exasperated sigh, almost as if he whispered for Charlie to keep his snarky comments to himself.t

~

After dinner was over and the dusk settled in the sky with stars, Pim felt like the most comfortable critter in the world, wearing a fleece nightgown on a bed that felt as relaxing as bed of moss, albeit the comfort was perturbed by some of that evening’s events. Just then he vaguely heard a sweet and soothing sound from outside. Pim hopped out of bed and looked out the balcony to find Charlie playing his ocarina while bathed in moonlight. Pim’s heart fluttered with joy and his cheeks turned even rosier upon this majestic sight, longing to join Charlie by his side had he known a way to climb down. After Charlie’s solo was over, he heard Pim from above giving him a stellar applause, prompting Charlie’s cheeks to burn a peachy-orange. To Pim’s surprise, he saw Charlie walk towards the vines growing on that edge of the palace to climb up and properly greet the beautiful stowaway. “Thank you, thank you very much.” replied Charlie, following up on: “I need to get this off my chest, but I don’t know who to tell….dunno if you feel like hearing me vent though.” Pim nudged Charlie and gave him the thumbs-up to indicate an agreement. After some nervous stuttering, Charlie finally spat it out: “Oh my God, Mipnessa is so annoying! I kinda thought she was cute until she started getting all super-clingy and weird yet she’s always making nasty, backhanded comments about me! Aaaaugh! I wish I could call off the stupid engagement but I don’t want to disappoint anyone more than I already have…” Charlie slunk down into a corner onto the floor, burying his head into his arms, “I wish I could marry someone else.” Pim’s eyes sparkled with perking tears as he longed to somehow communicate all of his bottled-up feelings to his one true love, so all the little pink critter could do was give the heroic prince a totally platonic and heartfelt gesture: Pim held his arms wide, asking in a non-verbal sense if Charlie would like a hug. He obliged. “I wonder what you’d want to get off your chest? I I’d be only fair if you could vent to me too.” That’s when Charlie got an idea, he’d rummage through his pockets, digging up a compact journal with pen to offer to his hushed friend. “I remember a time when I had a hard time spelling out how I felt, so Grandma gave me a journal like this to communicate better. Don’t mind the silly cartoons I drew in the first few pages, the rest is blank.” Pim opened the mini journal flipped through the pages, his eye catching a few of Charlie’s doodles: One particularly crude one was of his uncle Eustace’s face on a donkey’s rear-end and another had Charlie and his friends fighting a kraken, with a follow-up to indicating that they all lost in an embarrassing fashion with their heads being seasoned by the kraken and served on a silver platter (with candlelight and wine no less!) Pim couldn’t audibly laugh but boy did he have the biggest grin on his face! Flipping through one more page and Pim found the most alarming sketch in the book: a comic of Charlie running away from his own wedding jumping into the ocean to elope with an androgynous long-haired mercritter with a nice build and sparkly eyes; Pim’s brain registered that Charlie might have vaguely remembered that fateful encounter, a swirl of excitement and encouragement filled Pim’s heart and mind, giving himself ideas on how to explain to Charlie that he was indeed the beautiful stranger who saved him while also reminding himself his own desire to come out as his authentic self first. Either-way, he had plenty of time to think it over. Before Charlie left, Pim quickly sketched out a little something to show him. “Well, I’ll see you at breakfast, good-“ Pim tugged on Charlie’s sleeve to show him the illustrated message: a picture of a chibified Charlie sitting in a crescent moon and surrounded by stars with the words “Thank You!” scribbled out hastily. Charlie smiled warmly at the gesture, nodding his head and replying: “Anytime.”

Chapter 11 drops in two weeks and it’s a helluva doozy!

[deadsquidstudios]

Deadlined chapter 2, page 11

trying out YET ANOTHER shading style

[barleyo]

do you take requests if so for the love of god do more boomhauer please it was so damn hot <3 love your work btw

Straight Tequila Night.

Jeff Boomhauer X Fem! Reader (smut)

A/N: Thank you so much for your request, and yes, requests are always open! Sorry for the excruciatingly long wait, sweetheart. I'm pretty worthless when it comes to getting requests done in a timely manner, sorry!! This is heavily based off of John Anderson's Straight Tequila Night, so I suggest listening to it while you read. Whoever can find the most references to the song in the fic wins, haha!

Wordcount: 3.4K

Tags: P*rn with plot, p in v, oral (f receiving), sex with a semi-stranger, smut in the later half of the story

He jetted down the highway, looking for any sign or signal that pointed toward a bar. He never liked traveling outside of Arlen for anything, but when his friends were done drinking for the night and his regular pub was closed, he didn’t mind driving a few miles out of town to get a drink and mingle. 

Though Boomhauer was going farther than he originally thought he would need to, he refused to turn around and give up. Instead, he kept on driving down the sparingly lit road. The road there was bumpy, he noticed. Old and cracked pavement, unlike Arlen’s smooth, blacktop roads. He was only twenty or so minutes out of town and he could tell the differences between the two places by how often his car would jump on a jagged crack or pothole too deep to be safe.

Finally, he pulled into the parking lot of a tiny place that did not register as a bar in his mind until a neon sign that read “happy hour, every hour” came into view. The lot was empty besides a car or two in the employee’s spots and a few beat up sedans that were scattered. Boomhauer parked in a spot nearest the door and got out, grabbed his jacket he left in the passenger seat, and shrugged it on. Hands in his coat pockets, he walked in.

For however few cars were in the lot, it looked like even fewer people were even in the place. He surveyed the empty tables and thought to turn right back around to keep looking when a voice called out to him.

“Welcome in,” a woman said. 

His head snapped over to the source, finding her behind the bar. He had not noticed her while he was making his earlier assessment of the place. He offered a quick smile in an attempt to combat his previous indirect rudeness and sat at her bar top. Boomhauer took note of the woman’s age: a bit too old to just be working at a place like this, she was likely the owner.

“Never seen you before, you new here?” She leaned over the countertop inquisitively, leaving enough room between the two of them for comfort. “Or just passing through town?” 

“Just passing through, ma’am,” he said.

“Ma’am? Gosh, polite, aren’t you? You can call me Mary, none of all that ‘ma’am’ stuff. Your name, if you don’t mind me askin’?” 

“Jeff Boomhauer. Friends call me Boomhauer.”

“Alright then, Boomhauer, what’re you havin’ here on this fantastic night?” What Mary lacked in numbers, she made up for in energy and entertainment for the guests she did have. The emptiness of the bar did not seem to bother her.

“Alamo, if you’ve got it.”

“Alamo? Oh, honey, you’re from Arlen aren’t you?” she asked, biting back a laugh when he nodded. “Y’all really love your Alamo, huh? Nobody here drinks it. Thought about replacing it on tap to save my money, glad you’re here to drink it.” Mary bent down, disappearing under the bar to grab the beer mug. “Sixteen ounces okay?” She pulled the tap and filled the cup.

“Mhm, that’s fine by me,” he grabbed the mug and took a swig from it, and looked to his side. He saw a wine glass sitting next to him on a napkin. Before he could ask about it, someone walked over.

“Someone else here, Mary?” 

“Yup, (Y/N),” Mary was already turned to the girl’s direction, hearing the click of her heels before hearing her voice, “Out-of-towner from Arlen.”

(Y/N) took her seat next to Boomhauer and faced him. “It’s ‘bout time we see someone who isn’t a regular,” she laughed, holding her hand out. “Nice to meet you.” 

Shaking her hand, he replied, “You too, Miss (Y/N).”

“Oh, so polite,” she said. “Didn’t know I was a ‘Miss’ kind of girl!”

“That’s what I was saying too! Jeff Boomhauer, are all Arlen men like this? Because if so, I might need to get me one,” Mary joked while she wiped down the other end of the bar, scrubbing at a stubborn stain. 

Boomhauer said nothing in return and instead sipped at his mug quietly, listening in on Mary and (Y/N)’s chat. He allowed himself to peer at her from the corner of his eyes every so often. She was an exceptionally pretty thing: big smile, cute voice, and even cuter laugh. He was normally a talkative man, but feeling so enthralled and out of place made him want to listen especially closely to the two women.

“So, uh,” he cleared his throat, “you come here often?” He internally cringed at his own cliche, but (Y/N) seemed not to mind. 

“I’m Mary’s favorite regular, if that gives you any clue.” She looked at him, a sweet smile covering her face. 

“Don’t let her fool you, she’s still a pain in my rear,” Mary interrupted absentmindedly. 

“See, that’s real love right there,” (Y/N) grabbed Boomhauer’s arm as she chuckled to herself, and let go once she was done. “Hey, do me a favor, would you?”

“Yeah?”

“Take these,” she dug in her purse and pulled out a small handful of quarters. “Put on, uh, K-13 on that ol’ jukebox in that corner.”

“You got it,” he said. He stood up and stepped over to the jukebox, inserting the coins. He hovered his fingers over the number keys of the jukebox’s keyboard and punched in the numbers that she told him to. “I didn’t even know these things were still used,” he said. “Ain’t seen one since I was a kid.”

“I know, right? Used to be my favorite thing: headin’ to a diner with my daddy, popping on whatever song I could with the nickels and dimes he found for me in his car’s cup holders.” 

Boomhauer sat back down and watched (Y/N)’s face contort into a fond smile as she went over her memories.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” He did not try to stop his own smile from forming at her words.

“Well,” she started, “you in town for long?” 

“Nah, just tonight. Came here when my dang ol’ favorite place was right n’ closed up. Just trying somethin’ new.”

“Ah, well, cheers to that then!” She held her glass up and clinked it against his. She drank from it again, finishing out the rest of her white wine. “You know, we almost never get people just blowing by here,” she traced the rim of the glass, “the place is just too boring for people, I guess. Empty town and all that.”

“I like it.”

“Hm?”

“I don’t mind it here, man. Nice n’ quiet, wouldn’t say it’s better’n Arlen, but I don’t mind it here,” Boomhauer said, watching (Y/N)’s face warm up from the alcohol, assuming the same was happening to his own face. 

“Oh, Boomhauer, don’t say that or else I’ll have to convince you to move here! We could use some more cuties like you here, it’d make it worth hanging around this town.” 

“Maybe someday, Miss (Y/N), maybe someday,” he chuckled at her dramatics, but on the inside he felt a sharp spark. She was joking, of course, but the hint of truth behind it was all Boomhauer could hear. He couldn’t possibly move to a new town for a woman he’d known for only the lesser half of an hour, but God, he’d be lying if he said it didn’t feel tempting every time he heard her laugh. 

She smirked at him and ushered him to stand up and follow her. She tossed a few bills onto the countertop on both her side and Boomhauer’s, pushing his hand down as he reached into his pocket to pay. “Lightin’ up and headin’ out, Mary,” she called from behind her shoulder. 

“Long as you don’t do it in here, hon,” Mary called back. “See you.” She had taken to looking through a magazine while the ‘couple’ were chatting with each other and was still engrossed with what she was reading.

(Y/N) grabbed Boomhauer’s hand and pulled him out the door, letting go of his hand and sitting on the curb just outside the bar. She patted the spot beside her. He sat down with her and watched her take a box of cigarettes out of her purse. 

“You smoke?” she asked.

“Mhm, yeah.” He did not smoke. He may have lit a cig once or twice in high school, but never as an adult, and why he told her he did, he did not know. 

“Shit,” (Y/N) groaned, pulling her final cigarette out of its lonely box. “One left.” She lit it and took a drag, exhaling a dark cloud and tapping the ash off of the end. “Hm,” she grunted as she held the stick out to Boomhauer. 

He lifted his eyebrows in surprise but took it anyway. He saw the red ring of (Y/N)’s lipstick around the filter of the cigarette and smiled, taking a puff of his own. An unfamiliar heaviness grew in his lungs and he fought back a cough, handing it back to her.

“You know,” she took another drag before continuing, “I’m glad you came on in tonight. It’s always just me n’ a few random regulars. Every damn night, never a newbie or anyone interestin’.” She sighed and leaned her head onto Boomhauer’s shoulder. 

He tensed up a first, but calmed down once he felt her start to hum gently. 

“There’s something about this town I love,” she puffed from the cig and coughed. “The community, the familiar faces. Everyone knows each other, and there’s charm to that.”

Boomhauer nodded, the smoke swirling around him as (Y/N)  exhaled. “Yeah, it’s true. Arlen’s like that too, bit bigger though. Everybody knows everybody. Can’t go any-dang-where without bumpin’ into someone you know.”

“Right,” she replied, a bittersweet smile gracing her lips. “But sometimes, it’s nice to step outta your bubble, really get out there.”

He thought for a moment, contemplating her words. It had been a long time since he ventured outside of his comfort zone, outside of his town. Sitting there with (Y/N) on that quiet curb, he couldn’t help but feel a strange comfort. Maybe there was more to life than the familiar routine he had grown accustomed to.

“You might be onto somethin’ there,” he finally said. “Life’s too short to stay in one place, a man’s gotta be free, man. Maybe it’s time I start takin’ some risks, tryin’ new things.”

(Y/N) grinned, a playful glint in her eyes. “I like the sound of that, Boomhauer. A man with a sense of adventure is very sexy.”

They kept speaking to each other, inching closer throughout the night.The initial awkwardness between them melted away, replaced by a growing connection and a shared sense of curiosity.

Eventually, the cigarette burned out.

“Can’t believe how fast time flew by,” Boomhauer said, a tinge of regret in his voice. “I gotta get goin’.”

“Don’t know if I’m being forward, but am I gonna see you around these parts again, Mr. Boomhauer?” she asked with a laugh, copying his formality from the beginning of the night. 

He caught on. “Well, Miss (Y/N), depends on if you’re good and sure you wanna see me again.” 

“Hm, I think I’d like to. Could get used to sitting by a handsome not-stranger like yourself every Friday night. Mary likes ya’ too.” She angled her head up to make eye contact with him. “I like you more, though.” She leaned in and pressed her red-stained lips against his chapped ones.

He placed his hand on her face and tilted her into the kiss, savoring the feeling. Stroking her cheek with his thumb, he ran his tongue over her bottom lip, slowly pushing into her mouth. She moaned as he explored her mouth, intertwining his tongue with hers briefly before breaking away.

They both panted as they caught their breath, still holding eye contact. 

“I should get going,” (Y/N) sighed, standing up.

“Right, uh, yeah, man, me too.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and watched her turn to walk away. “You need me to walk you to your car?”

“No, hon, I’m okay. Just–” she looked back at him, “just make sure to come here again real soon, yeah? Don’t be a stranger, Boomhauer.” She walked to her car, heels clicking. She got into the car and drove off, rolling down her window to flash a final smile at him. 

Boomhauer had gone back to that small, desolate bar every week on Fridays for a long time. He did not see (Y/N) there for a while. He was upset, thinking that she had forgotten about their little promise so quickly, but he still showed up. Every Friday, sometimes Saturdays. He had soon started to devote less and less of his time to visiting Mary’s pub in search of her.

Today, he decided, would be one of his final trips. He was still hopeful, of course, but he was not completely delusional and knew when enough was enough. 

He walked in, head down. Not looking up, he sat down at his regular seat, right by the middle of the bar top.

“Hey, Mary,” he groaned, finally looking up. 

“Hey, not-stranger.” (Y/N) smiled at him while picking up her glass.

Boomhauer looked up, seeing her face again. He felt relief, anger, and happiness all at the same time. “(Y/N)? (Y/N), where have you been? I– I’ve been comin’ here wantin’ to see you every week.”

“I know, I know, Mary’s grilled me about it plenty, and I’m sorry.” She plopped down next to him in the chair, facing him with a grimace on her face. “I don’t even know what happened. I was getting dressed to come see you on that Friday and I just couldn’t leave, same with all the others.” She grabbed her shot glass. It was filled to the brim with tequila, and it probably was not the first or only one she had that night.

“What do you mean?”

“Damn it, I don’t know, Jeff,” she sighed and shot the drink back, wincing at the burning feeling it left in her throat. “You’re just so nice, you were so sweet, and you listened to me when I was talking the whole time. You let me joke and be silly and made me feel like you felt like I did, even if it was a lil’ soon.”

“I do feel the same, (Y/N), I feel it too, but if you felt this way, why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Wasn’t that simple, I felt so scared and I couldn’t take the chance of you not feeling the same. You say you do, but even telling you now makes me so nervous,” she covered her face with her hands, and her voice was a bit muffled as she ranted. Her hands felt clammy with her sweat and tears. 

Boomhauer gently wedged his hand between her face and her palm, tilting her head to angle her eyes at his. “Darlin’, c’mon now, don’t cry. I get it, you don’t have to explain anymore.” He got up and tapped her arm. “You’re too drunk to drive, let me take you home, yeah?”

(Y/N) nodded, thick tears still dripping down her cheeks. 

They both exited the bar, (Y/N) clinging onto Boomhauer’s arm, snuggling into it against the cool night air. They got in Boomhauer’s car and (Y/N) typed her address into his phone’s GPS system.

They drove in near silence, the only sound being a sniffle of huff from (Y/N)’s side of the car. He soon pulled into her driveway. Getting out, he walked to her side and opened her door, lifting her to her weak, tired legs and walked her to the door. 

“I guess I’ll see you whenever I can see you–?”

He was interrupted by (Y/N) pulling him into a kiss. It was not like their first one, this one was rushed and full of need and desire. She pulled him back into the house, still locked in the kiss, and slammed her door shut. She led him to the bedroom and fell back on her bed.

“This okay?” He asked, laying on top of her.

“Mhm, yes. Please, g’head n’ touch me.”

That was all he needed to hear. He pushed her head to the side and placed his lips on her neck. He sucked the soft skin until a tender, dark bruise formed on it. Moving his head up, he littered the hickies closer to her jaw. 

Pulling away with a pop, he examined the marks. They were shiny with his spit.

“They don’t hurt, do they?” He traced over the wet marks with his thumb, pressing onto them gently. 

(Y/N) craned her neck into his touch, pushing into it further. “It does, but I like it. Don’t need’a worry ‘bout me.”

“Hm.”

Boomhauer ducked his head down and created a trail of kisses, each dipping lower than the last until his lips were situated at her chest, just at the divot of her shirt. He quickly slid his finger through the buttons of her shirt, unbuttoning them and helping her shrug the shirt off. 

Goosebumps littered her skin when the cold air hit her body, soon being soothed by the warm kisses he placed over her abdomen. She gasped at the feeling. Boomhauer made his way lower, slipping her skirt and panties down. 

“Here,” he gripped onto her thighs and held them apart, “hold still for me.” 

He placed his head fully between her legs, licking thick stripes over her cunt. From her entrance to her clit, he traced a path, licking up her wetness and replacing it with his spit. 

“God, ‘s too much,” she whined.

“Ain’t even started yet, just wait,” Boomhauer said, voice muffled while he slurped and sucked on her sensitive, swollen bud. 

Licking at her slit, he pushed into her, dipping his tongue in-and-out. He rolled his tongue deeper, nose bumping against her clit. Little shocks of pleasure coursed through (Y/N), back arching with each pass over her clit.

Running her hands through his blond hair, she took purchase over the back of his head, grinding her pussy up into his mouth. 

“Ah– almost, almost there, keep–”

He pulled off, a wide grin plastered over his slick, reddened face. He wiped his face with his forearm.

“Turn over, baby,” Boomhauer grabbed her waist and flipped her over, face pushed into the mattress. “You ready?” He lined himself up at her entrance, slowly edging the tip in.

“Mhmph.”

His thrusts were slow and agonizing, but not teasing. He wanted this just as bad as she did, no: worse. He felt the velvet ribbing of her cunt suck him in with each thrust, drawing him in and constricting around his cock. 

“Tight lil’ thing,” he said, gritting his teeth. “Can’t keep squeezin’ like that, darlin’, makin’ me wanna cum early.”

“Oh, sorry,” she whined slightly, arching her hips further up as if he were trying to guide his cock to her deep spot. “There,” her mouth fell open with a cry, “ooh, right there, right there!”

“Yeah? Yeah, I-I got you..” 

Boomhauer tried to keep his hips directly flushed to her back, holding the position she put herself in under him. He turned his full, fast strokes into a rough and meaningful rutting, like he was trying to bury his dick into her G-spot.

“Fuck, fuck.” She panted deeply, pathetically, knowing she was close. A final stroke threw her over the edge into her ecstasy, from a final, sweet knock onto her cervix’s tip. 

He saw her shimmery nails grip the sheets tightly, watching as her knuckles practically turned white. “Aw, sweet– shit, sweetheart,” he cooed into her ear, fumbling over his words a bit. 

He got lost in his own pleasure, hardly being able to pull out. He managed to in time, however, and fisted his cock. After giving the base a few quick strokes, he groaned seeing his cum spurt out on her bare lower back.

(Y/N) hummed and looked back at him, sleepiness hanging over her eyes. 

“Boom,” she said after she heard his breathing steady, “will y’stay with me tonight? Please?”

“I’ll stay longer’n that, girl.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, looking over to him as he took a spot underneath the covers with her.

“Didn’t you notice the suitcases in the backseat of m’car?