#Adult Golf Lessons

[jinjigolf]

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[navree]

my parents are very good parents and i love them very much but i think i will die before i lose the chip on my shoulder that i have about the fact that they had me prioritize tennis (a sport i am not good, hated doing, started late at, and immediately stopped the second i was told that i could) over other extracurriculars i was into, to the point of interfering with the latters in service to the former

[steddieas-shegoes]

🪱 Wiggly Wednesday 🪱

Steve who is forced into golf lessons at a young age because his dad expects him to play to impress business partners when he joins him at the firm.

Steve who is a naturally boisterous child, energetic, cheers when the ball goes in the hole even though you’re supposed to maintain composure and have minimal celebration.

His coach is endeared, but the moment his father sees it, he gets reprimanded and told to act “like an adult.”

Steve who is very good at golf, but hates it because he can’t enjoy it the way he wants to.

Steve who gets a scholarship to a university for golf, but ends up losing it because his grades aren’t the best.

Steve who gets disowned before he has a chance to redeem himself.

Steve who turns to being a caddy for money and ends up working a lot of special events, like fundraisers.

Which is when he meets Eddie Munson, the lead guitarist for the band that’s hired to do any special event at the club. He always wears the required uniform of black pants and a white button down, but he rolls the sleeves and shows off his tattoos, his hair is unruly, and he wears a smirk that Steve knows would irritate him on anyone else.

Eddie’s hot.

Steve’s a little bit of a slut.

They find a bathroom when everyone’s cleaning up.

It may be three in the afternoon, but there’s no proper time for a bathroom hookup.

It continues for months.

Neither of them ever talk about meeting up outside of this stolen time together in an empty bathroom at a country club filled with the worst types of people they could possibly have to be around.

Until Eddie makes the mistake of offering to drive Steve home. And Steve has to explain he’s currently living with his best friend and he doesn’t wanna risk her parents waking up from his loud van pulling in the driveway.

And then he makes the mistake of offering for Steve to stay the night with him in his new apartment.

“We can break in my bed,” he offers.

Steve’s mistake is that he agrees.

But is it a mistake if Steve starts to leave his clothes at Eddie’s? And starts staying every night with him, even when they aren’t planning on hooking up? And sometimes Eddie comes home from his regular day job as a mechanic to Steve cooking dinner for them? And Steve sometimes has nightmares that Eddie holds him through.

And sometimes they say they love each other.

Maybe more than sometimes.

[wileys-russo]

“Awe bubba, you’re the best little golfer I know babe”, Leah Williamson

in the same universe as legacy l.williamson II little golfer

"can i come out yet?" you yelled out with a sigh, banished to the bedroom while leah and mila got up to god knows what. with there being no games this weekend leah had decreed sunday was family day and that she would organise everything, so you had no idea what the three of you would be doing.

"yes!"

you huffed in relief at the sound of your wifes voice, pulling yourself off the bed and opening the door. "oh my god." you exhaled, suddenly getting a sneaky suspicion you could work out what it was leah had planned for the day.

"i look like mummy!" mila cheered bouncing eagerly on the balls of her feet as leah grinned proudly, hands on her hips clearly pleased with herself. "aw bubba, you're the best little golfer i know babe." your wife cooed encouragingly, fixing the cap on your daughters head slightly.

"when on earth did you buy her those?" you sighed, your now four year old daughter dressed up exactly like your wife was, wearing matching plaid pants, white button up and bowlers cap as your wife, clearly dressed up for a day on the green.

"when you were away with aunty steffy!" mila answered, which was a few weeks ago now. "you took her to the club with you? leah she's four!" you shook your head in disbelief.

"i've been gettin lessons! got my own clubs too." mila puffed her chest out proudly as leah's grin grew even wider. "of course you do. so is that what this grand family day out is then? an excuse to drag me to the golf club?" you deadpanned, leah shooing mila off to grab her backpack from her room.

"baby." leah started toward you with a charming smile as you shook your head, arms crossed and staring her down. "come on. you know you love it when she dresses up like a little adult, and she's got a good swing on her! is it so wrong of me to want to pass on my golfing prowess to my little legacy?" your wife reasoned, arriving in front of you with a pout.

"no. but why do i have to be dragged into it, lee i love you very much but i hate golf!" you whined throwing your head back with a groan. "for the sake of our marriage i'm going to pretend i didn't hear that." leah tutted with a shake of her head.

"theres an outfit all laid out for you in the spare room. the sun is shining, mila slept through the entire night in her own bed, we're going to have a perfect little family day out my girl. you'll see!"

only, you didn't see.

you sat with a frown etched into your features, sulking heavily as you watched on as leah would take the long drives, allowing your daughter to swing once you got a little closer to the hole.

you thought that the silver lining might be driving the golf cart, but your wife wouldn't even allow that insisting on being the chauffeur for the day as well.

"stop bein so stroppy. you're a bad influence!" leah chuckled as you scoffed, your retort cut off by her soft lips pressing against yours.

"yuck! no kissin!" a tiny body wedged themselves between you, pushing on leahs legs and sending her backward as mila climbed up and onto your lap.

"my mama, no kissin her!" mila warned your wife, wagging a finger at her and brightening your mood at the shock written across leah's face.

"your mama? kid thats my wife! she was that before you were born." leah poked at mila who stuck her tongue out and shrugged, arms latched tightly around your neck.

"she loves me more." mila grinned cheekily as leah gasped and dropped her golf club, falling to her knees. "oh my god...you've done it. mila you've broke my heart, oh it hurts!" leah wailed dramatically rolling about in the grass as you rolled your eyes and mila giggled.

"no being silly on the golf course!" mila lectured echoing leah's own words back as you snickered and covered your laugh with your hand. "don't you even care you broke my heart! thats not silly!" leah cried out, falling to her back again with a yell of pain.

"your wife is silly." mila sighed, patting your cheek with her small hand as you made no attempt to hide your laughter this time. "mila!" leah huffed, getting up to her feet and brushing the dirt off her.

"right fine then tiger woods. if i'm so silly watch this!" leah picked her driver back up, striding over and teeing up her ball, readying her stance. "don't miss!" you yelled right as she wound up to swung, indeed resulting in an air swing and mila's giggles.

"no noise in the crowd please, course etiquette." leah warned but you grinned at the clench in her jaw. "air swing!" you yelled again at the same time, leah just clipping the ball and only sending it about fifty meters forward as she exhaled.

"shit!" she swore, kicking the grass and pausing for a moment, mila thankfully too preoccupied chasing a bird to notice. "leah! language." you hissed nodding behind you as the blonde waved you off, stomping back to the cart.

"lets go." leah scooped your daughter up, mila squealing and kicking her legs happily as leah carried her over by the back of her top, dropping her in your lap.

"air swing. i'll show you an air swing." leah muttered under her breath, cheeks flushed red as you smiled, holding your daughter tightly as leah raced forward in the car and mila cheered.

"hey, lee babe calm down. this is a family day, not your regular nine holes with the lads." you let mila race off after another bird and stopped leah from leaving.

"stop winding me up then!" the blonde whined with a scowl, an apology mumbled against her lips for a second which seemed to calm her as she pulled away and took a deep breath.

"okay. come on mila, your turn!" leah called out, your daughter gasping happily and sprinting back over as leah helped her pick out her club.

"now remember. legs planted, feet outward, eye on the ball." leah coached helping the girl get into position and teeing up a ball for her. "go baby!" you cheered happily, clapping for her as leah took a step back and gestured for your daughter to go.

only after three air swings did you really get a glimpse into your wifes little legacy.

"shit!" mila swore as she missed again, kicking the grass and throwing her club down with a huff, crossing her arms and furrowing her eyebrows, a near mirror to your wifes own poor losing behaviour.

leah's eyes met yours in both worry and shock, though seeing the slight amusement on your face and no real trace of anger she relaxed a little. "hey, come here you." the blonde tugged on the back of your daughters top and squatted down.

"you're doing so so good bubba, way better than any other four year old i know. but we have to learn how to lose gracefully, mummy is still learning that too okay?" leah spoke softly as mila hugged her tightly with a nod.

"hey! are you giggling?" leah gasped as mila pulled away and grinned. "only joking! just being like you." mila wiggled happily, leah watching on stunned as the four year old marched back off and picked up her club, swinging and collecting the ball easily sending it off with a cheer, sprinting off after it with her club in hand as leah looked at you in disbelief and you smirked.

"well congratulations are in order babe, she's exactly like you."

[bowdownperv]

doctors appointment

rafe takes nervous reader to her yearly checkup a/n: fluff, mentions of smut

going to the doctors office always terrified you since your were a child. your parents always had to drag you to your appointments, kicking and screaming, and reward you with vanilla ice cream afterwards despite you being an absolute menace. you would yell so loud that patients in the waiting room had to cover their ears. the nurses would often left the room with your tiny footprints on their white scrubs after giving you your yearly vaccinations.

❊ ❊ ❊

well, your parents had decided now that you were an adult, it was up to you to be a "big girl" and go to your appointments by yourself. your appointment was booked a month in advance, and every day leading up to it you spent worried with nightmares about evil doctors and giant needles. the stress had become too much and as your scary day grew closer, you surrendered your independence and decided you needed one special person to go with you.

rafe was someone you grew up with and who knew you better than anyone else. he was a few years older than you, and as a kid you looked up to him as he was much wiser and had more experience with things. he was the one who taught you many life lessons such as how to defend yourself, driving, and even sex. he would eventually become your first, and only, and ever since you'd been addicted and would always run to him like an eager puppy whenever you had desires, despite not being in an official relationship.

you called rafe and asked him to come over to hangout with you, which was nothing out of the unordinary. once you heard his knock on your front the door, you giddily ran down the stairs to greet the smiling, handsome boy on your front porch. he was wearing a navy polo with the first two buttons undone and beige khakis with grass stains on his knees. you could tell he had come straight from golfing.

"hey, beautiful," he said grinning cheerfully with his hands in his pockets. the simple word already made your cheeks glow pink matching the lace embroidery on your vintage skirt.

"hi rarefy," you said with an unconscious smile. "come," you commanded with a grabby hand, waiting for his larger hand to engulf it.

upon pulling him inside, you dragged him straight upstairs to your bedroom. rafe immediately made himself comfortable and sprawled out on your mattress, laughing at your whines about him being on your clean bed with his shoes on. when you walked over to take them off for him, he took the opportunity to grab you and throw you on top of him.

"rafe!" you yelped placing your hand on his chest for support. rafe looked at you with a devilish smile and combed the hair out of your face with his fingers. you could feel his rough callouses brush up against your forehead which made your insides tickle for some reason.

rafe's face displayed a beaming white grin until he looked into your eyes and saw little teardrops beginning to form. his curious stare intimidated you causing your to nuzzle your face into his chest

"what's going on, huh?" he said rubbing your back extremely gently like you were a delicate little flower. you cried into his cotton polo, letting all the built up stress of this stupid doctors appointment soak into the fabric.

"it's embarassing," you whined.

"just tell me, ok?" rafe begged. you unattached yourself from his chest and wiped your face with both hands.

"will you come with me to my check up tomorrow?" you said shyly, playing with his hand to relax you. "im so scared," you whined pathetically.

"shit. all this over a stupid doctors appointment? course ill take you kid. 'ts no big deal at all."

you hugged him with a grip so tight his eyes nearly popped out of his skull and laid on his chest as he slowly rubbed your back letting you sleep soundly for the first time in a month. he waited to sneak out until he was sure you were in a deep sleep, carefully replacing your arms around him with a pillow.

❊ ❊ ❊

the dreaded day arrived and rafe arrived promptly at your doorstep to escort you to your personal hell. your legs shook like tree branches so much so that you had to lean on rafe just to walk to his car. he couldn't help but hide a smirk from how pathetic you were over a stupid doctors check up, but he found your over-dramatization cute.

once rafe was finally able to get you into the office, he handled all the professional stuff for you, checking you in, filling out your paperwork, you were shocked by how much he knew about you and you face lit up when he put his name and phone number down as your emergency contact information.

the nurse finally called your name and you went completely frozen. rafe gave her an apologetic smile as he pulled you from you chair and had to drag you into the appointment room like you were a mannequin.

every time the nurse asked you a basic question, your heart dropped deeper into your chest. somehow you forgot when your birthday was and if you were on any medication. luckily rafe was there to do most of the work for you.

his palm met his forehead with an eye roll when she put the blood pressure cuff around your arm and you turned your head as far away from it as possible wrinkling your face. rafe thought it was silly but at the same time had the desire to swoop in and rescue you, even though he knew you were perfectly safe. the nurse swiftly finished up her duties and left allowing the doctor to complete your check up.

"so miss," the doctor asked, "any general pain or discomfort?"

you looked over to rafe clueless and he shook his head.

"no, sir," you stuttered.

"smoking or any use of drugs?"

once again, your head tilted towards rafe for guidance who shook his head firmer this time.

"no, sir."

"and are you at all sexually active?"

your face turned the brightest pink ever imaginable and rafe couldn't help but smirk seeing your reaction. you turned to him for directions of what to say, but for the first time all day, he was of no help as his eyes wandered up at the ceiling.

you swore to yourself that you would keep the dirty activities between you and rafe a secret, as you had a girl next door reputation attactched to your name. but the doctor was here to help you right? you were never good at lying and you knew he would be smart enough to detect it.

"uhm." you mumbled, looking down at your lap. "yes, sir."

the doctor then went into a complete rant about STD's and the risk of not using protection, but all you could do was glow like a pink lightbulb.

"so, are you using protection?" he asked sternly.

"yes, I am, sir."

the doctor quickly wrapped things up, needing to get to his next patient, but assured you that your health was in great condition and there was nothing to worry about. you didn't feel that way, however.

before rafe could finish thanking the staff, you dragged him out of the building as fast as possible, nearly giving him whiplash. you hopped into his passenger seat and immediately started bawling.

"hey, what's a matter? you did great kid. all good and healthy. know it was tough but I'm proud of you."

"he thinks I'm a slut!" you cried out with tears dampening your dress.

"what!?" rafe said shocked. "look kid, people have sex, okay? completely normal. how you think any of us got here, huh?"

you continued to wheeze into your skirt.

"he kept goin' and goin' about STD's, and condoms, and-" your own cries interrupted you. "he thinks I'm a dirty whore!"

"that's part of his job, baby. he's gotta say that whole spiel to everyone that comes in, probably has it all memorized. nothin' to do with you."

all you could do was look up at him with wet, Bambi eyes.

"now lemme get you some ice cream, yea? that'll make you feel better. no one thinks you're dirty, you're a good girl, okay?"

you nodded your head.

rafe spent the rest of the day driving you around and getting you whatever you wanted. his friends were not happy as they had planned on going golfing again today, but he would do anything and everything he could to get his happy girl back.

[uluvjay]

First love-C. Caufield

Dad! Cole Caufield x daughter x mom! Reader

In which Cole’s daughter finds love on the playground

Warnings?; slight cursing, protective Cole, small kissing, def some errors so i apologize!

Can be read as a continuation of this but doesn’t have to be!

Cole turned around at the sound of the front door opening, moving away from the kitchen island and stepping into the hall he found you and your four year old taking off your shoes.

“Is that my Rosie girl?” He called out, a large smile taking over his face as her little head snapped up at the sound of his voice, his heart warming as a bright smile took over her face.

“Daddy!” She squealed and quickly took off towards her father, little legs launching herself off the ground and into his arms.

“Hi baby.” He greeted the small girl, placing kisses all over her face causing her contagious giggles to echo throughout the hallway.

He pulled back when he felt your hand on his shoulder, “Hi honey.” He smiled placing a soft kiss on your cheek as he still held his daughter tight in his arms.

He followed behind you as you entered the kitchen, greeting the boys as it was summer and your lake house was packed after a morning session of golf.

“Uncle Alex!” Rosie exclaimed at the sight of the curly haired man, wiggling out of her father’s grip and into the arms of the center.

“Hey cutie, did you have fun at the park?” He asked.

The question caused a small laugh to escape your throat from where you stood making Rosie a sandwich for lunch.

“Why don’t you tell everyone who you met at the park today bug?” You spoke up, a smirk taking over your face.

“Oh! I met the love of my life today!”

You watched as the kitchen turned so silent that you could hear a pin drop, your husband’s face turning pale as his jaw fell open, the faces of your friends matching his.

“I’m sorry? You met who?” Brock was the first to speak up, not liking one bit that his niece just stated she was in love.

“The love of my life duh!, his name was..uh-mommy? What was his name?” The little girl questioned with a confused look on her freckled face.

“Jackson” you reminded her.

“Right! Jackson, we played on the swings, he gave me some of his gold fishies, and then we held hands, and he gave me a hug before we left!” She beamed recalling some of what the two four year olds got up to today.

Cole couldn’t stop himself as he surged forward and scooped his daughter from his friend’s arms, setting the small girl counter he boxed her in with his arms on each side.

“Listen bug..you only played together right? Like swings, running around, going on the slide and stuff you didn’t kiss him after your hug right?” The man asked the four year old so seriously that you would think he was going over contract negotiations.

“Ewww no daddy! That’s only for adults.” She stuck her tongue out at the idea as she shook her head no.

“Good because you know that boys have cuties and that the-“

“Cole!” You scolded the man, slapping his shoulder.

“What?! I don’t want her to think it’s okay to flirt with little dirt balls.” he argued, his arms flaring out.

“He’s right Rosie, boys are gross.” Trevor spoke up from where he rested against the counter.

“But you’re a boy uncle Z, so are you daddy, and uncle Brock, and grandpa, and uncle ale-“

You were the one to cut your daughter off before she could go into naming every boy she’d ever met, “Honey why don’t you go sit at your table and eat your lunch? You can watch some Bluey for a bit while you eat.”

The young girl perked up at the mention of food and a tad bit of screen time, seeing as she didn’t get much iPad time she took what she could get.

Cole helped the small girl off the counter and grabbed her iPad from its spot on the counter before handing it over to you as you two walked out of the kitchen and to her little eating area.

“So you know this means that we have to find this kid and teach him a lesson right? He shouldn’t have even talked to-“ your hand connecting to the back of Jacks head shut him up quickly, looking like a scolded child.

“I know you were not just going to plan beating up a four year old.” You laughed, hands on your hips as you looked at the young man.

“He has a point honey, I mean who was this kid anyway?” Cole spoke up, his stance quickly mirroring yours.

You shook your head at your husband, a laugh breaking free, “He was actually really sweet and I talked with his mom the entire time at the park while they ran around. He picked her flowers and everything, even told her that her freckles were pretty.” You smirked knowing it would piss Cole off even more that the boy went as far as to compliment Rosie.

“He what?!”

“Oh calm down, it was harmless and we even set up a play date for Saturday morning at the park.” You shrugged.

“Well boys, clear your calendars for Saturday morning. We’ve got plans.” Cole spoke up and you could do nothing but shake your head as the kitchen full of grown men agreed with him.

-

When Saturday morning rolled around Cole was packed and ready to go, his Honda odyssey packed and loaded for a morning at the park.

Thankfully you were able to shake the heard of hockey players that originally wanted to join you and it only ended up being you three as you arrived to the park.

Rosie was excited all morning and the night before, ready to see her friend again and to play.

The girls eyes lit up at the sight of Jackson once you made it into the playground, her little hand waving around so fast you were scared it was going to fall off.

“Jackson!” She cheered as she ran towards him for a hug.

“Hi Rosie! I like your shirt.” He greeted, pointing to the trolls characters on her shirt.

“Thank you! I like your hat.” She replied.

“Oh hell no.” Cole grumbled going to step forward but your hand on his arm and stern look in your eyes had him stopping in his tracks.

You greeted Jackson’s mom as the two kids ran off introducing Cole, sitting on a bench you two caught up on your week while Cole’s gaze was locked tight on the kids.

His hand clenching tightly against his yeti every time Jackson’s hand so much as brushed Rosie, but he hid his death stare for the child every time his mom looked over or anytime Rosie did.

After about twenty minutes of running around the two came back for a drink and took off again until Jackson had to go to the bathroom, his mom taking him quickly leaving just you and Cole as Rosie continued to run around.

“See he’s not bad, plus she’s just making friends.” You nudged him.

He grumbled in response, one arm crossing over his chest as he leaned back more into the bench, his quarter-zip tightening around his strong arms as he kept an eye on Rosie.

“She said she was in love.” He pointed out.

“Cole she’s just a kid” you laughed, “She doesn’t know what love means, she just knows that everyone in her life that she has fun with and that makes her laugh she says I love you to.”

The man shook his head in denial, determined to hate the young boy for the way he was making his daughter feel. To him she was his little baby and no boy deserved even a drop of her time, she has all the people she needs.

Cole continued to watch intently for the next hour or so until Jackson and his mom had to get going, you exchanging your goodbye as the kids did the same.

This time however when pulling back, Jackson’s lips landed on Rosie’s cheek but he was quick to run off before anyone had time to react.

“I-did he..did he just kiss her?!?” Cole choked, hundreds of emotions and thoughts running through his mind as he processed what he just witnessed.

Cole was flabbergasted as you broke out into giggles, finger pointed at him as you bent over holding your stomach tightly.

“What are you laughing at?! He kissed her! He put his lips on my babies cheek.” He shook his head, heart racing as he noticed the blush on your daughter’s cheek as she turned back towards you two.

“Your face! It was to good.” You laughed, picking up your bag as you held Rosie’s hand in your larger one.

Cole groaned as he stood as well and led the way to the car, he couldn’t believe the little shit actually had the nerve to kiss his babygirl.

Rosie babbled on as you put her in her car seat, Cole already situated in the drivers seat listening intently as she went on to talk about all the things her and Jackson did.

She continued her rundown as you guys got on the road, telling you about how he held her hand again and kept telling her he really likes her freckles.

“Oh and he asked me to marry him but I told him I had to ask my mommy and daddy first.” The four year old shrugged.

“HE WHAT?!”

-

[haggishlyhagging]

“By 1900 child mortality was already declining—not because of anything the medical profession had accomplished, but because of general improvements in sanitation and nutrition. Meanwhile the birthrate had dropped to an average of about three and a half; women expected each baby to live and were already taking measures to prevent more than the desired number of pregnancies. From a strictly biological standpoint then, children were beginning to come into their own.

Economic changes too pushed the child into sudden prominence at the turn of the century. Those fabled, pre-industrial children who were "seen, but not heard," were, most of the time, hard at work—weeding, sewing, fetching water and kindling, feeding the animals, watching the baby. Today, a four-year-old who can tie his or her own shoes is impressive. In colonial times, four-year-old girls knitted stockings and mittens and could produce intricate embroidery; at age six they spun wool. A good, industrious little girl was called "Mrs." instead of "Miss" in appreciation of her contribution to the family economy: she was not, strictly speaking, a child.

But when production left the houschold, sweeping away the dozens of chores which had filled the child's day, childhood began to stand out as a distinct and fascinating phase of life. It was as if the late Victorian imagination, still unsettled by Darwin's apes, suddenly looked down and discovered, right at knee-level, the evolutionary missing link. Here was the pristine innocence which adult men romanticized, and of course, here, in miniature, was the future which today's adult men could not hope to enter in person. In the child lay the key to the control of human evolution. Its habits, its pastimes, its companions were no longer trivial matters, but issues of gravest importance to the entire species.

This sudden fascination with the child came at a time in American history when child abuse—in the most literal and physical sense—was becoming an institutional feature of the expanding industrial economy. Near the turn of the century, an estimated 2,250,000 American children under fifteen were full-time laborers—in coal mines, glass factories, textile mills, canning factories, in the cigar industry, and in the homes of the wealthy—in short, wherever cheap and docile labor could be used. There can be no comparison between the conditions of work for a farm child (who was also in most cases a beloved family member) and the conditions of work for industrial child laborers. Four-year-olds worked sixteen-hour days sorting beads or rolling cigars in New York City tenements; five-year-old girls worked the night shift in southern cotton mills.

So long as enough girls can be kept working, and only a few of them faint, the mills are kept going; but when faintings are so many and so frequent that it does not pay to keep going, the mills are closed.

These children grew up hunched and rickety, sometimes blinded by fine work or the intense heat of furnaces, lungs ruined by coal dust or cotton dust—when they grew up at all. Not for them the "century of the child," or childhood in any form:

The golf links lie so near the mill

That almost every day

The laboring children can look out

And see the men at play.

Child labor had its ideological defenders: educational philosophers who extolled the lessons of factory discipline, the Catholic hierarchy which argued that it was a father's patriarchal right to dispose of his children's labor, and of course the mill owners themselves. But for the reform-oriented, middle-class citizen the spectacle of machines tearing at baby flesh, of factories sucking in files of hunched-over children each morning, inspired not only public indignation, but a kind of personal horror. Here was the ultimate "rationalization" contained in the logic of the Market: all members of the family reduced alike to wage slavery, all human relations, including the most ancient and intimate, dissolved in the cash nexus. Who could refute the logic of it? There was no rationale (within the terms of the Market) for supporting idle, dependent children. There were no ties of economic self-interest to preserve the family. Child labor represented a long step toward that ultimate "anti-utopia" which always seemed to be germinating in capitalist development: a world engorged by the Market, a world without love.”

-Barbara Ehrenreich and Deirdre English, For Her Own Good: 150 Years of the Experts’ Advice to Women

[casualaruanienjoyer]

What would AoT characters do on a cruise? It can be like on the actual ship or whenever it stops at an island!

Hello! Thank you for this very fun ask!!!

What would these AOT characters do on a cruise?

Armin: this man has maps, notes, routes planed and worst of all....socks and sandals. Yes, you heard that, Armin is a complete nerd for traveling and he takes sightseeing to the extreme. He has a list of everything he wants to see for every stop of the cruise!

Annie: you'll always find her relaxing under an umbrella, by the pool. Sunglasses on, headphones on, reading a book or maybe practicing some writing herself. Absolute peace and quiet. She does indulge in Armin's travels but not for every stop. She's not as insane as him.

Jean: well of course this guy would be by the pool in the evenings, flexing his muscles left and right, trying to grab anyone's attention. He's hot and he knows it! But he's never been a good drinker so more often than not he ends up being a mess after a few cocktails. Pieck or Reiner usually have to take him back to his room.

Reiner: why did he agree to come here? His sea sickness is driving him mad. He's ok one moment and nauseous the next. They are here for a week but it certainly feels like an eternity to him.

Levi: This man spends most of the time in the casino. His absolute poker face is very hard to read, and luck seems to be on his side. He certainly leaves with lots more money than he got on the ship with.

Hange: she's been pestering crew members ever since she got here. How does this boat work?? Why does it float?? Can she drive it?? And she's so incredibly persistent that she eventually gets offered a tour of the captain's cabin. She's over the moon!

Onyankopon, Gabi and Falco: these guys somehow got stuck in the world's longest game of bingo. It's them and a heard of old ladies all competing against eachother. The prize: a waffle maker.

Eren: he's been trying all the fun activities on the cruise: water slides, ziplines, mini golf. EVERYTHING. And now he's so incredibly bored.

Yelena: well, her plan was to use this cruise as a disguise for her nefarious plan: get off the boat and steal valuable local artefacts. However, the plan took a weird turn when she got discovered by a secret agent. He's incredibly alluring, she admits.

Zeke: with Yelena now detected, he has to keep her busy. Make sure she doesn't escape. He wishes he could spend all day indulging in the various buffets on board but instead they somehow end up making out in his cabin. Uh oh!

Sasha: she's trying her best to keep her cool. But boats are not her favorite. For one, she can't swim, but thankfully they offer free lessons in the kiddy pool. Nothing can go wrong... right??

Connie: the only way he could afford to be on this ship was through work, and thankfully he's an amazing swimmer. As a lifeguard his main job is to make sure that no one drawns in the pool. How hard can it b- SASHA!

Mikasa: she's working as one of the bar staff by the pool. Spends most of the cruise trying to get Eren's attention but she fails miserably every time. Not even her swimsuit gets Eren's attention, but it gets EVERYONE else's. Jean almost has a stroke and even Annie can't help but steal a peek.

Pieck: she's also part of the staff, but unlike Connie and Mikasa, she's an entertainer. A singer, a dancer, a bit of everything really. She's the star of the adult only shows. The audience loves her!

[jinjigolf]

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[a-humble-bagel]

i could be wrong, but i’m pretty sure that “Wednesday” is the first form of The Addams Family that isn’t satire (I haven’t seen the 2019 and 2021 movies and idk if I ever will).

This just leads to some interesting new perspectives because now a lot of people are trying to rationalize/moralize some of Wednesday’s actions which is interesting because no one’s ever had to do that before. 

I think the lack of satire also makes some of the Addams’ actions in the show a little confusing, like how they seem to love all things dark and murderous but then when Gomez gets accused of murder they act as though it’s a terrible thing (I know this can be rationalized by saying that they were scared of the consequences he’d face, but honestly it would’ve been nice if it didn’t have to be rationalized in the first place). 

The thing with satire is that their actions never had to be rationalized because it was funny. Sure, it was dark humour, but you could tell that it was a joke. It was obvious that the point of those dark jokes was to entertain, and those weren’t the morals the story was preaching. Take this scene in “The Addams Family Values” for example where Wednesday sets Amanda on fire: 

It’s obvious that the movie isn’t telling you “set the people who bully you on fire”, because it’s obviously satire. To find the actual message, you have to look deeper into the dark campiness to find the heart of what the story is about. Satires are exaggerations of real life problems, and The Addams Family looks at the flaws within the “ideal American family”. This scene is telling the audience to stand up to bullies, that adults can be blind and part of the problem, not to bully outcasts/people who seem weird, that history is often sanitized, and that colonialism is bad. It’s also a badass moment that feels great because Wednesday and the other “weird” kids are finally getting revenge on a bunch of rude and horrible people.

Now compare that to the scene in “Wednesday” where Wednesday tortures Tyler. True, the scenes take place in very different contexts. Tyler is someone who has physically hurt people, including Wednesday’s friend, so it’s more personal. In this scene, it isn’t just justice she’s after, it’s cold-hearted vengeance (that may be mixed with some feelings of being hurt).. With Amanda, it’s more lighthearted as Amanda never killed anyone. Nevertheless, in both scenes, Wednesday gets violent revenge on someone who’s wronged her, but the message in the TV show is that torture is bad. The Nightshades turn their backs on Wednesday, and she faces consequences for her actions. And that brings me to my next point: consequences.

In “Wednesday”, The Addams family has to face actual legal consequences. In the 90s movies, they only had to face social consequences. Even though they did all those horrifying terrible things, the only repercussions they got were disdain and annoyance from the other characters, which isn’t much of a repercussion. Even in “The Addams Family” when Tully throws them out of their house, the police are never involved, and the thought of the Addams’ going to jail doesn’t even cross the audience’s mind. This is partly what allows them to wholeheartedly engage in macabre and murderous things: the narrative doesn’t punish them for it, and they never face serious consequences. 

After all, if the Addams’ in the 90s movies faced serious consequences, the narrative wouldn’t go anywhere. If the storyline allowed the Addams’ to be arrested, then the judge at the start likely would’ve called the police when Gomez kept hitting golf balls through his window. Gomez would’ve been arrested, and the story couldn’t progress. As a satire, the 90s movies require there to be a lack of police in order to convey the messages of the films. That way, the Addams’ can do all of their usual spooky and dangerous things, which convey the deeper lessons of the story. However, “Wednesday” took away the satire and added in the police.

From the start, the Addams’ are treated as not “ordinary” people, but they no longer exist outside of the law. This is shown in the very first episode, when Wednesday puts the piranhas in the pool. Morticia later mentions that “the boy’s father wanted to press attempted murder charges”. That is a huge difference from the 90s movies. If this was a scene in one of the 90s movies, Wednesday likely would’ve still been expelled, but it would’ve been something she was smugly satisfied about, and there would be no the threat of legal actions. 

In other words, the previous versions of The Addams Family were all treated as satire characters, which allowed them to get away with things that they wouldn’t be able to do in the real world (playing with death/dangerous activities/torture) without the narrative punishing them for it, and without them facing real consequences. Satires require exaggeration, so extremes had to be allowed. However, “Wednesday” treated The Addams’ as regular characters, and had them face consequences like being arrested and jail. This makes it feel like they’re all bark and no bite: it seems like they talk about death and violence but deep down, they abhor it.

This is what made Gomez’s arrest seem somewhat contradictory. The Addams talk so much about how they love death, so why did Wednesday and Morticia have to go to such lengths to prove that he didn’t kill anyone? And Wednesday’s comment at the end of the episode about how she knows Gomez couldn’t really kill anyone just reinforces the idea that the Addams’ are all bark and no bite.

 Besides, whether or not the Addams’ themselves actually disapproved of Gomez murdering someone, the narrative disapproved of it. The story punishes Gomez for potentially being a murderer, just like it punishes Wednesday for torturing Tyler. Since the Addams’ aren’t satire characters in this interpretation, it can’t allow them to go to the same extremes as satire characters, it has to punish them, otherwise it would convey the message “torture and murder are good”.

This isn’t a criticization of how the show interpreted the Addams’, it’s just a neat thing I started thinking about and then decided to write out. 

tldr: The Addams’ aren’t satire in “Wednesday”, so while they still have the same values/talk the same way as their 90s movie counterparts, the narrative has to have them face serious consequences so it doesn’t convey the wrong message.

[hardlyinteresting]

Childhood

Day One of the #MarchHotchness event.

I touched on some of the complexities of how I imagine Aaron Hotchner's childhood and the impact of his childhood on him in my recent fic you can read it here. As a part of their Day One post @hotchfiles mentioned my fic and added to and expanded on a lot of what I had also imagined. You can read their Day One post here. We're very much on the same page regarding Hotch's childhood. My previous post was prose and the headcannons within it served a specific purpose.

This is going to be more bullet points in no real order. I have no desire to back any of these up, there's no references to them in the show so far as I'm aware. This is just my brain! enjoy! As always Request here! | Masterlist

he has a scar on the underside of his chin from when he went over the handlebars of his bike as a kid.

he always wanted to play basketball at school but his mother insisted that he do track and field instead. He played lacrosse in high school. 

he used to go golfing with his dad when he was 9 or 10. He didn't get to play but he liked sitting in the golf cart. He got lemonade at the clubhouse if he promised not to tell his mother that his father had been drinking.

he did piano lessons but doesn't remember much

he read a lot. For school and his own enjoyment. 

he always wanted an ant farm but his parents wouldn't let him have one. (As an adult, and a father he now understands why and hopes every day that Jack never asks for one) 

he had a childhood dog he grew up with. It was a foxhound. The dog lived to be about 18. His name was Beau. 

he was quiet but social in his own right at school. But struggled to form many close friendships because of his responsibilities at home. 

he had no choice but to maintain good grades. 

he used to sleep curled up in the back seat of his parent's car on the way home from different social events or family dinners. If he closed his eyes now he could still remember the smell of leather and wool interior, the hum of the engine, and the filtered street lamp lights. 

he has a couple of cousins on his father’s side. Second or third cousins maybe. He isn't sure now. He lost touch with them after his dad passed away. 

he was quite a bit older when Shaun was born. he cried alone in his room the night he found out his mother was expecting. He cried again when Shaun was born and it took him years to figure out why.

he had his first kiss when he was 9

he never liked green beans. 

[linesonscreens]

Let's Read Peanuts (Yup, still at it) – May 1954

There are lots of great strips I just don't have room to comment on. I strongly encourage everybody to read the full month at the official GoComics page. Today's month starts HERE.

May 3, 1954

~tugs collar~

Yeah... About that.

May 9, 1954

Aw yeah, here we go! I was wondering when this would pop up.

May 15, 1954

1) That's not a joke

2) Yes, Violet. I got that from him kicking the radio.

Also I hope you enjoyed this strip because “Charlie Brown doesn't like coconut” is now a running gag.

May 16, 1954

This definitively proves that adults exist in the Peanuts Cinematic Universe, they just happen to be 20 feet tall for some reason. Or maybe the kids are like 2 feet tall? It depends on how you look at it I guess.

May 23, 1954

Oh man! What's going to happen!? I'm freaking out!

May 24, 1954

Lucy is so unbelievably awful to Linus in these early years. Granted, she's literally four(?) years old so I can cut her a bit of slack but god damn do these kind of interactions not endear you to her.

Weirdly enough though, I actually like that the strip doesn't punish her for doing stuff like this. Others have made this observation long before I came along but the fact that Schulz is willing to just sort of... let bad things happen without immediately having the universe make an example of the perpetrator or teach them a lesson is one of the things that sets Peanuts apart from the competition. Life just kind of be like that sometimes and it's OK to show it.

May 30, 1954

(No, really. That's the last one)

Thoughts:

The golf tournament arc is kind of notorious and nobody really knows what the hell is up with it. You have continuity in the Sunday strips (very unusual due to how they are made), weird off-model art, the cast acting out of character, and of course, on-screen adults. Then it all just kind of... stops. It's very odd.

I've heard people speculate that this might actually have been ghost drawn (is that a term?) by another artist but I'm not sure if I buy that. The art is a bit different but it still very much feels like Schulz to me, particularly in how he draws his backgrounds. I ~do~ think there might be something to the idea that this is a repurposed experiment from another project though.

What this feels like to me is Schulz experimenting with “bigger” stories, perhaps something intended to be sold as a proper comic book rather than just a collection of strips. The art looks different because he's trying to set it apart from the strips by adding more detail and action (kind of like when an animated TV sitcom gets a theatrical movie).

As for why it just ends like that? Well that's a sort of punchline Schulz does in a lot in his daily strips so it's not actually that weird if you think about it. I think he just didn't realize that this kind of anticlimax punchline works with a 4-panel strip but not a 4-page event comic.

There's no official word on the matter though so your guess is as good as mine.

[enigmatic-mystery-777]

Tagged by the awesome @geekygumiho !

Do you make your bed? I do not. I toss and turn so much, there's really no point in making the bed when I'm just gonna upend the sheet and blanket again.

Favorite number? 45. If you ask me why, however, that I cannot tell you. I also like the number 7. And the number 5. I don't know why about those, either.

What's your job? To be as weird as possible. Lmao kiddinggg. Mostly. I am weird. Anyway, I'm a overnight retail stocker for the drug/gm dept of the store I work at, and twice a week I'm a file maintenance tagger (also overnight, also at the same store)

If you could go back to school, would you? Probably not? I mean...*sighs* if it didn't cost so damn much, or at all, I would go, I would find classes that bring me joy, but the way schooling is set up now in the US? Nah, I'm not wasting my money. I don't have any to waste anyhow lol

Can you parallel park? I cannot; I got *very* lucky I didn't have to do that for the driver's test. Cos there's no way I would've pulled that off. Horrifying thought.

Do you think aliens are real? I do. I just don't think they'd ever waste their time with our planet. Our planet is essentially the Florida of the Universe; nobody wants to come here. Not because the planet itself is bad (she is very, very good) but nobody wants to deal with the humans on it lmao

Can you drive a manual car? I cannot. And I don't ever want to learn. Automatic all the way, thank you! I have a hard enough time driving as it is lol

Guilty pleasure? Honestly, I don't believe this should be a thing that exists. Like what you like, quit letting society dictate how you're allowed to be happy, just fuckin' be happy. ....As long as it's not hurting others or breaking any laws, or hurting any animals, of course.

Tattoos? I would but none of the parlors are close enough. And I'm poor. Also my skin is riddled with picking scars; isn't there, like, a rule they can't tattoo scarred skin?

Favorite color? Blue; more specifically sky blue. Also liking light/spring green as of late!

Favorite type of music? I don't have a straight answer for this one; I have a certain sound I like that I find across multiple genres. It's generally a faster, more upbeat kind of noise.

Do you like puzzles? I love puzzles, I'm just not any good at them. I highly recommend playing Nancy Drew PC games. They're so so so good. I always end up cheating on them cos I'm not a smart person but I do enjoy trying to solve on my own first before I get frustrated lol

Any phobias? People. Spiders. Heights. Drowning. Suffocation. Small enclosed spaces. Crowds. Wasps. Scorpions.

Favorite childhood sport? I played softball for three years from 3rd grade to 5th (8yo to 10yo) (mostly out of pressure; I wasn't any good at it). And golf one summer in high school; it started off as free lessons at Elm Tree, a golf course near where I lived (beautiful course), and then I did so well I got put into a league where I failed miserably and never went back lol

Do you talk to yourself? All. The. Time. In fact, I'm really only ever verbal with myself. I'm rather nonverbal with everyone else. Unless I'm comfortable around you but sometimes not even then.

Tea or Coffee? Coffee, 100%. I respect tea but I do not like it lmaooo

What movies do you adore? Gurl, it'd be easier to ask me what movies I hate. Good lord. Top of my mind movies I love: Twister, The Incredibles, The Incredibles 2, Tango & Cash, any of the scooby doo animated movies, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Princess Diaries, The Princess Diaries 2, We Have A Ghost, Enola Holmes, Enola Holmes 2, Stargate, Stargate: Ark Of Truth, Stargate: Continuum, Dante's Peak, Demolition Man, Se7en...okay! I think that's enough examples lolol

Tagging! If y'all want to participate, that is, you absolutely do not have to!

@lokisleftfoot @ryukiki @greek-praetor @flyawayprincess @randomestfandoms @royalnugget42 @stargatebarbie @help-help-i-need-an-adult @goorehaus

And if you weren't tagged but you wanna do this, join in!