#Adhd Bedtime Meltdown

[coolkoalameditation]

What Are the Most Common Behavioral Disorders in Children?

The most common behavioral disorders in children are:

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). 

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects children's ability to pay attention, control their impulses, and be still. Symptoms of ADHD can include fidgeting, talking excessively, difficulty staying on task, and being easily distracted.

ADHD is often treated with meditation, therapy, or both. Medication can help to improve attention and focus, while therapy can help children learn how to manage their symptoms and develop coping skills.

Check out Guided Bedtime Meditations for Children with ADHD and Anxiety

Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). 

ODD is a behavioral disorder characterized by a persistent pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior towards authority figures. Children with ODD may often argue with adults, refuse to follow the rules, and deliberately annoy others.

ODD is often treated with behavioral therapy. This type of therapy helps children learn how to control their behavior and develop better coping skills.

Conduct disorder (CD). 

CD is a more serious behavioral disorder than ODD. Children with CD often engage in aggressive, destructive, or criminal behavior. They may start fights, steal, vandalize property, or hurt others.

The CD is often treated with medication, therapy, and behavior modification. Medication can help to reduce aggression and impulsive behavior, while therapy can help children learn how to manage their emotions and develop better social skills.

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD). 

ASD is a developmental disorder that affects a child's communication and social skills. Children with ASD may have difficulty understanding and responding to social cues and may have restricted interests and repetitive behaviors.

ASD is often treated with early intervention services, education, and therapy. Early intervention services can help children develop their communication and social skills. In contrast, education and therapy can help them learn how to cope with their challenges and live a fulfilling life.

These are just some of the most common behavioral disorders in children. Many other behavioral disorders exist, and each child will experience symptoms differently. If you are concerned that your child may have a behavioral disorder, it is essential to talk to your doctor. They can help you assess your child's symptoms and make a diagnosis.

Early diagnosis and treatment can help to improve your child's quality of life. For better and traditional treatments introducing a bedtime meditation like Cool Koala can be a game changer.

Read More: Sweet Dreams: A Mom's Guide to Solving Bedtime Behavior Problems

[audiovisualrecall]

And now ma is in a Mood

[arthyritis]

I have an intellectual disability. Mild bordering on moderate in most areas, according to my diagnosis.

What this means for me is that all sorts of communication gets lost in my brain. I process things slower, social interactions get jumbled, and tasks that I should know how to do sometimes require a little extra help, like eating, cooking, hygiene, etc, but especially things I'm unfamiliar with.

Setting and having non-stagnant reminders handy helps with my scheduling, as in not doing the same things at the same time but instead with a more specific cause, like telling my partner at bedtime that I need to brush my teeth, which is more likely to make me do it, or having food already prepared that I can just heat up instead of cooking a full meal.

With things I'm unfamiliar with (like cooking a new meal, or doing something at someone else's place) it means walking me through it step-by-step. My family friend is blind and has a more specific way of doing things that I'm unequipped for, but that my mom knows, so she tells me what I need to do/where to put things that he'll be able to find them again.

I'm also independent, so sometimes I will struggle to ask for the help I need and will have a freeze response. Comorbid with my AD(H)D and anxiety, this can lead to panic attacks and meltdowns, so it's oftentimes important to pay closer attention to things I'm doing that I am not aware of until after the panic has started.

All this to say, even a "milder" diagnosis requires a lot of help sometimes. MID is my diagnosis but this honestly works for autism and adhd peeps, too. For me, there's an overlap between how my symptoms of MID work with how autism works (something I'm also suspected of having), but with the added bonus of being learning disabled, which autism doesn't guarantee, because that's specifically a developmental disability, while intellectual disability is a learning disability and a developmental disability.

I'm two years diagnosed as of June 30th, I'm learning how to cope with this still. But it remains a disability! Happy disability pride month to my fellow intellectually disabled peeps :)

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hi! :) I was wondering if you have any info on autistic, ADHD, and/or AuDHD people adapting to change... specifically, I just watched a video from an autistic person who said that autistics can't help but meltdown when their fav. products get discontinued. I know some people commented that they learned to adapt a little more over time, but lots of autistic people agreed about that. I wonder if AuDHD people like the routine/same products, but when forced to change, they might be anxious, but still not mind trying out different things?

Hi there,

I found an article giving some tips on how to help with transitioning

Big Transitions

1. Have a Transition Day

After a vacation, schedule a transition day before going back to work. Use this day to ease yourself back into your normal life. Unpack, buy groceries, do your laundry, nap, etc.

If you are currently used to flying home at 10pm and getting up for work at 7am the next day, spending one of your vacation days as a transition day might feel like a ‘wasted’ day. However, it will help you feel organized and ahead of the game.

2. Use Checklists

Write checklists and use them! They guide you through all the actions you need to do without having to think too much. Have a ‘going on holiday‘ checklist and a ‘back from holiday’ checklist. On your last day at work, write a list of items you are working on. When you return, that list will allow you to dive right back in, rather than needing a day or 2 to figure everything out.

Small Transitions

3. Plan Your Day

Every evening, plan the next day. Then first thing in the morning look at your plan. This mentally prepares you for the events of the day and minimizes surprises.

4. Prepare

Before starting a task, gather everything you will need. This is helpful for 2 reasons:

Physically because you have everything at hand and don’t have to keep hunting for items,

Mentally because in order to prepare you have to think about the task and visualize the steps etc. This primes your brain for the task ahead and is the perfect transitional activity.

5. Buffer Time

Schedule at least 15 minutes in between appointments or activities. This gives you the chance to reflect on what you have just done and mentally prepare for the next task.

6. Structure

Create structures and routines so your body get used to doing things at certain times. For example, you can have a morning and a bedtime routine and do your weekly groceries at the same time. You might resist it at first; however, these habits make transitions almost effortless.

7. Countdown

Abruptly stopping an activity is difficult and jarring. Having a countdown is helpful as it gives you advanced warning that it’s time to wind down.

Set a timer to let you know when you have 15 minutes left then 5, and then zero.

If you have a tendency to hyperfocus, you might not hear the timer, which is where plan B comes in! Use the loudest alarm you have and put it in a place where you will have to physically get up to switch it off. Once you are up, it will be easier to move on to your next task.

8. Train the People in Your Life

Train the people in your life not to interrupt you. It is easier than it might seem.

Tell your family or co-workers that you are going to be working on X for the next 3 hours. Ask them if there is anything they need to tell you before you start. Then tell them what time you will be available again.

9. Getting into Gear Ritual

Sitting down to work on a task that involves focus and concentration can be the hardest thing for a person living with ADHD. It can cause a lot of resistance and procrastination.

The full article will be below if you want to read more

I hope this helps some. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[spicedwatermel0n]

if you're uncomfy doing this then please disregard this (your comfort is important to us ^^ please dont fret) but any hcs on... Sector V's parents??

Ohhhh boy... Chuckles

TW for death, abuse, neglect, transphobia, ableism, etc

Nigel's parents are the best by far. They don't always understand things but they try to! Monty is very supportive of Nigel being enby

Hoagies dad is dead. He died during a botched surgery when he was 6 and it's a very touchy subject for him because after his dad died, his grandma started hitting him and blaming him for it. His mom is admittedly better than some, but she does nothing about the abuse her oldest experiences because she's afraid of her own mother. She also denies that he's autistic and doesn't exactly act kindly towards his sexuality. She knew Wally before he transitioned so, because her mother does it, in an attempt to please her, she deadnames and misgenders him. She also drove the "boys don't cry" mentality into his head, which ended up making him able to cry in complete silence and only do it in private. All of his friends think he never cries, but he actually does it very frequently and very privately.

Kukis mom is narcissistic and doesn't want to get help for it, and her dad is overly emotional and will flip out and argue over very small, inconvenient things. If she asks her dad anything, even if it's just to go outside, she'll be met with an angry sigh that makes her feel awful. She tries to act happy and innocent all the time to protect herself from these things. She also knows how to cook, clean and repair things because her parents will neglect her and tell her to do things herself.

Wally's dad is everything you'd want from a dad, but is currently in a situation where he can't divorce because if he did, he'd become homeless. His mom isn't the worst per say, because she does have "good days"... But she manipulates her husband into going against their oldest and constantly denying facts. She believes her oldest is a psychopathic jerk who needs to be arrested (especially whenever he has autistic meltdowns). Sometimes she locks Joey's door if Wally shows he's angry because she believes he'd hurt his little brother (he would never do that and it upsets him that she thinks that). She sends him to boarding schools all the time over his inability to do work (caused by dyslexia, dyscalculia, and ADHD that she denies is there) and calls him lazy. She'll embarrass him in front of guests or his friends by mocking his inability to keep his room clean "because you're lazy" (he's actually depressed and it's kinda her fault). His dad will slip in and read him bedtime stories, hold him and sing to him to comfort him and try to assure him that once he can leave her, he will, and that he hopes he doesn't believe what she tells him. At the very least, both are supportive of him being trans (mostly because his mom wanted a boy anyways) and bisexual.

Abby's parents are definitely on a level that Nigel's parents are. They aren't flawless, though... They don't recognize how manipulative Cree is to her little sister and it's kinda taken a toll on Abby. They also deny she's autistic, by saying, "you're just a little weird, and that's okay!" which breaks her heart every time she hears it. She is expected to excel in school and it stresses her out so badly

[tallmantall]

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How Can We Help Kids With Transitions?

With the right support, children can learn to change gears without whining and tantrums Photo by olia danilevich on Pexels.com Writer: Katherine Martinelli Clinical Experts: Dave Anderson, PhD , Michael Rosenthal, PhD , Matthew H. Rouse, PhD What You'll Learn - How can parents help kids who have trouble with transitions? - What tools can make transitions easier for kids? - Quick Read - Full Article Many children whine, stall or throw tantrums when it’s time for a transition. But there are ways parents can help kids make transitions without acting out. These strategies are particularly helpful for kids with ADHD, anxiety, autism or?sensory processing issues.  One basic strategy is creating routines for daily transitions. Routines for things like getting ready for school, starting homework, and bedtime can be helpful for kids of all ages.   Previews and countdowns can also make a big difference. Every morning, give them a preview of the day. Then before each transition, let them know when it will happen and what they will need to do. For example, you could say, “In 20 minutes, it will be time to finish breakfast and head to school.” Then repeat yourself in 10 minutes and again in 5 minutes.   You could also give each transition its own soundtrack. This works really well for younger kids.?There’s a reason that the “clean up” song can be heard in preschools across the country! Some kids may also benefit from visual cues, like a chart with pictures that show what happens at each transition.   When helping kids with transitions, getting their attention is important. You can try making eye contact, sitting next to them, putting your hand on their shoulder or even asking them to repeat back what you said.   When your child does well with a transition, praise them! You can also give them a small reward like a sticker, a snack or a point toward a new toy. Once they can transition easily, you can phase out the rewards. When they don’t do as well, it’s usually best to pay your child less attention and focus on the times that do go well. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub Many children struggle with transitions, which are common triggers for behaviors that range from annoying (whining, stalling) to upsetting (tantrums and meltdowns). There are many ways parents and teachers can help kids have an easier time with transitions — and be able to behave better—but  it may take a little experimentation to find out what clicks with each particular child. These tools are useful  to help kids of all stripes with transitions. But for kids with ADHD, anxiety, autism, or sensory processing, this kind of scaffolding is particularly crucial and can make the difference between a good day and a bad one. Over a period of time it can help pave the way for success. Create routines: If a child “doesn’t want to transition because they like consistency and routine and structure,” says Michael Rosenthal, PhD, a clinical neuropsychologist, “then start by building in consistency and routine and structure into the transition process itself.” For transitions that will happen every day, like turning off the phone to go to bed, consistent routines can have big payoff. A bedtime routine, for example, might seem like something for babies, but having a predictable structure in place can be reassuring and helpful even for older kids (and adults!). Preview and count down: Along with routines, previewing and countdowns are key. In the morning you might lay out what the day is going to look like. Dr. Rosenthal suggests doing a role-play in which you practice moving from activity to activity to “engage them in the process.” Then before each transition, give a timeframe and description of what will happen along with countdowns (in 20 minutes, then 10, then 5 it will be time to finish breakfast and head to school). This is “allows them to emotionally get ready for an event,” explains Dr. Rosenthal. Give it a sound track: For younger kids in particular, songs can be especially effective tools to help implement routines and ease transitions. The “clean up” song can be heard in preschools throughout the country for good reason, but there are countless other songs to be found (and made up!) to suit a variety of situations from tying shoes to brushing teeth. Visual cues: Other kids may benefit from visual cues. Being able to point to a chart with drawings about what to expect from a particular transition or the steps involved can help some people immensely. These are common in lower grade classrooms but could be easily adapted at home. Get their attention: For kids with ADHD in particular, says Matthew Rouse, PhD, a clinical psychologist, it’s important to make a connection with the child to ensure that you have their attention and that the information is sinking in. This could mean eye contact, sitting next to them, a hand on their shoulder, or asking them to repeat back what you have said. Simply yelling at them from the other side of the room and assuming it’s gotten through won’t work and will only lead to frustration on both sides. Use rewards: Rouse points out that rewards can be an effective tool for all kinds of kids and issues. These can be things like stickers, snacks, or a point system that leads to tangible rewards. Schools and parents alike can implement reward systems, and once the kid gets into the habit of seamlessly transitioning you might be able to phase it out. Implement appropriate consequences: If a transition is not going well, David Anderson, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, recommends paying less attention to it rather than escalating the situation. “Ignore it as long as they’re at least making an effort to make the transition or approximating the transition,” he says. “If they’re really egregiously misbehaving then use an appropriate consequence for that behavior that makes the child understand that behavior is off limits.” Praise good transitioning: Finally, Dr. Rouse urges parents to recognize when things go well. “For all the times it’s gone wrong,” he says, “there have probably been a lot more times when it’s gone right. Don’t lose those opportunities to be really enthusiastic and say this was so great, it went so smoothly, I really liked how you handed over the iPad right away and started brushing your teeth, and now we have more time to read.” Be specific in your praise, and follow up with a reward when appropriate. With the right support, children can learn to change gears without whining and tantrums. Photo by olia danilevich on Pexels.com Read the full article

[magsstore2]

ADDitude Magazine

ADDitude Magazine: A Guiding Light for the ADHD Community

In the bustling world of print, where glossy pages compete for attention, ADDitude Magazine stands out as a beacon of understanding and support. Since 1998, it has been illuminating the lives of millions touched by Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Beyond just being a magazine, ADDitude has become a trusted friend, a knowledgeable guide, and a vibrant community for those navigating the often-challenging terrain of ADHD.

At its core, ADDitude champions informed and empowering content. Gone are the days of stigma and misunderstanding. This magazine delves into the complexities of ADHD with scientific accuracy, expert insights, and real-life stories. Parents find solace in practical strategies for managing meltdowns and nurturing positive behaviors. Adults with ADHD discover new pathways to productivity, organization, and self-compassion. The magazine tackles difficult topics like co-morbid conditions, medication choices, and societal barriers with empathy and nuance.

But ADDitude doesn't stop at information. It fosters a sense of belonging and shared experience. Its pages come alive with personal narratives, humorous anecdotes, and insightful reflections from individuals across the ADHD spectrum. Parents laugh together at bedtime routines gone awry, while young adults find validation in relatable stories about academic struggles and career triumphs. This shared vulnerability becomes a powerful tool for breaking down isolation and igniting hope.

[happytaffeta]

Holy shit Lynx this just unlocked a whole slew of memories, pretty much all of them unpleasant. Content warning: I discuss my highscool experience below and my experience includes some mental illness and neurodivergence stuff that was perhaps handled poorly by the adults around me. I don’t go into too much detail but it’s there.

Yeah so uh, this is (or at least was in the early 2000s, I was in highschool from I think about 2000 to 2004) a thing, can confirm. Can also confirm it is a bad plan that just causes teenagers extra unhappiness. That seems to be the general goal of USA highschool though, so uh. There’s that.

When my highschool did this, I was randomly assigned twins, and also at my school you had to provide your own flour children, which meant you had to convince your parents that you needed to go to the store and buy one or more sacks of flour, but not for baking purposes, nor even for arts and crafts purposes. Also not every kid got their own individual flour child, some of us were single parents but some of us were paired up for co-parenting. I was not only assigned twins, but also single parent status.

I was also the only kid on campus who lived far away, so I spent over 2 hours on the bus per direction with not one but two paper sacks each containing five pounds of all purpose flour in tiny clothes sat in my lap, because you weren’t supposed to put them in your backpack. And my driveway was an unpaved dirt road that went steeply downhill from the bus stop to about a quarter of the way to the door, and from there on, uphill. My childhood home was on a six acre property on the slope of a canyon and the driveway snakes around a bit so I estimate that walk was at least three and a half of those acres long.

And you had to keep a parenting journal as homework. It was simple, you could just record times at which you did ‘baby care’ tasks, such as feeding, changing, bathing, and bedtime. You were not required to actually do these tasks but you did have to record them each day. I, personally, had a perfect storm of undiagnosed executive dysfunction, anxiety, medication-for-a-wrong-diagnosis-induced brain fog, probably-diagnosed but largely ignored depression, and at-the-time somehow* completely unnoticed probably-autism and probably-adhd (I am working on getting assessment and treatment for these now, as an adult) as well as perpetual exhaustion due to having to get up at 4 am every weekday to be at the bus by 5:30 to be at school by eight on top of insomnia that looking back I think was probably more severe than is common in teens. This made homework in general, and time-based record keeping, exceptionally difficult.

So yes, I really hope they don’t do this shit any more. Kids have enough going on already, they don’t need a fortnight of forced faux-parenthood stress to deter them from trying sex. If they’re gonna try sex they will try it regardless of the flour infants, and if like me they aren’t gonna try sex (perhaps because they are just not that into sex as a concept, or for whatever other reason they may have), then the flour infants are solely about inflicting suffering and don’t have even the stated intended educational effect.

* I am still kind of astounded that no one thought of autism when observing me have frequent, significant, and I’m told predictably-regular full ‘shutdowns’ (probably a form of meltdown, in retrospect) in response to recurring overwhelming stimuli and situations, despite my school being geared toward specifically kids with various unusual mental, developmental, and emotional needs and one of the staff, who was part of the iep team, literally having an autistic son about my age who also attended.

"Flour baby"???

I don't know how much this is a thing outside of parts of the US, but at least when I was growing up in some health classes they gave an assignment where you had to pretend that a bag of flour was your baby for like...a week or two. Hold it all the time, dress it up, take care of it, etc. This was supposed to help discourage teen sex (or at least discourage unsafe sex) by making you see how much work it was to take care of a baby if you got pregnant. I suspect that assignment didn't accomplish much aside from create weird plots for teen sitcoms in the future.

[sunflower-kisses]

A definitely cheeked his adhd medication yesterday after being told therapy wasn't his choice to make. When he came home he was not his normal self and was straight up obnoxious and all over the place. But he swore he took it. David will be sweeping his room later today.

L had an epic meltdown/freak out. Instant rage when she found out there were consequences for lying to David. This kid wiped her butt and threw the crap covered tp in the trash. Aiden saw it and told David. He asked she swore she didn't do it. Later I went up to help her brush her teeth. I asked if she knew anything about it and that's when she tried to act dumb but admitted it was her. I asked why she wasn't honest when we asked the 1st time and she tried the whole "I forgot I did it" thing. She "forgot" literally 2 minutes after it happened. So I told her since she lied and wasn't honest she could use the rest of time until bedtime to play but tablet time was up. She dropped to the ground and tried to beg. I told her no and she got up really aggressively, stomped onto the stool, grabbed her tooth brush and gave me a death glare.

I told her that's not appropriate and she could head down to sit at the table. At which point she looked like she was ready to stab me with the tooth brush so I took it. She stomped away screaming "I hate you" "you're the worst"and "it's not fair I have to live here with people like you". Then proceeded to sit at the table and push herself away from it because she didn't want to be there. 🙃🙃 David delt with her for the 1st bit. Then told her she wasn't leaving the table until she spoke to me properly.

I was starting to feel bad that my dad said he wanted them back and were slowly talking about the process of them going there. It's one of those things where it's going to happen, likely before my due date, but we haven't set it in motion or told the kids. I was starting to feel bad about it because they seemed like we were all back on track. And then shitv hits the fan all over again. And we're just tired. We don't have the energy for it. And when the baby comes things won't get better by them getting even less attention.

[hargrove-mayfields]

I see Billy as v adhd so glad someone else sees it, but the character that gives be the biggest autism vibes is Jonathan

yes absolutely! have this bit of ramblin’ because I was just gonna talk about this and it turned into a whole thing!

Joyce always knew, always had the suspicion that her boy was special. From the way he didn’t start talking until after his baby brother did, and the way he walked around on his tip-toes, or only liked to be read the same bedtime story every night, but she could never do anything to get advice or help with him. Because Lonnie couldn’t stand even the suggestion that their son turned out like that, and she never had enough time or money or freedom of her own to do much about it besides as much research as she could at the library.

Jonathan recognized just as easily that he wasn’t like his peers, but only really because of the things his dad said about him. Joyce had tried her damndest to instill in him that he just did things his own way, but not even the words of a loving mother could entirely outweigh the hurt Lonnie did on purpose, and he keeps a lot of that nastiness with him.

Even after his mom divorces his dad, for the longest time he tries really hard to stifle everything about himself. His interests, his quirks, his emotions, anything that made him who he was, because he feels like they aren’t valid anymore.

It’s in that way that gets himself into a lot of meltdowns, but it gets so frustrating for him because they aren’t satisfying. There’s no outpouring of emotion to clear his head, no intensity to accommodate for the way he’s been bottling up these things, it’s just getting a little teary eyed and sensitive to his surroundings for a while. Because he’s deliberately trained himself not to have an outlet, it’s like there’s this perpetual feeling of discomfort, physically, mentally, emotionally, just itching under his skin.

What finally breaks the damn is Will. Of course he’d always heard the horrible words that were thrown around about his brother, the ones his mom taught him were dangerous and hurtful but that other people, even his friends, would use all the time, and really he’s just curious, wanting to know why they call Jonathan names when he’s the coolest, most supportive brother in the world.

It’s when he tries to explain to him that there’s just something different about him, a gift if he went with what their mother called it, a damnation if he he’d have asked Lonnie, that you couldn’t see or touch, but that people tried to use to hurt him anyways, that he just breaks, because of one simple question that his little brother asks in response.

Why?

Meaning, why did that mean they didn’t want to be his friend? Why did they hurt him because of something as silly as that? Why did anyone let them get away with that?

And the thing is, he doesn’t know. He never has. How can he even begin to explain the evilness that was out there in the world to innocent Will when he’s never been able to understand it either?

So he cries, and he shakes, and he rocks, and he lets everything he hadn’t let out for years pour out in that moment. It’s exhausting, it basically puts him at a mental standstill, but it’s good. And he starts to make the connection that, if he doesn’t hold it back, even though there will still always people who will be mean and unforgiving and call him mean words, he could make himself feel better if he didn’t cover it up.

That’s a realization that’s really important to both of the Byers boys, because maybe Jonathan can’t answer Will’s hardest questions, but he can tell him this; that if the other kids don’t want to be his friend, that just means the real ones were still out there waiting for him; if they tried to make fun of him, it was because they didn’t understand him, but he doesn’t need them to; that they may get away with it because he is different, but he’s also happy, and loved, and stronger than them regardless.

And when he finally hears the word autism, that key to what he’d been feeling, when the Wheelers’ little girl gets diagnosed, it’s freeing. It’s lifting that burden off of his shoulders of just being different, an outlier, an anomaly. He’s not what his father said about him and he’s more than just not normal. He is Jonathan Byers, and he is autistic.

[whitedatura]

After 2 or 3 years of bringing up my concerns at her annual appointment, I finally made headway with the "please figure out what is going on with my daughter's behavior because I do not think this is typical" by scheduling an appointment solely for behavior/mental health.

Weirdly enough (/s), my instincts were correct and a 10 year old should not be having 2 hour long meltdowns over bedtime or putting away her 15 books and should be able to follow a routine to get herself ready in the morning/at night. I got brushed off at the annual appointments because she does well in school but at our follow up tomorrow I'm 99% sure she's going to get an ADHD diagnosis and hopefully some sort of medication to try, because none of the behavior/check-in systems we've tried at home have been effective for longer than a couple days and something has to give (preferably no one's sanity.)

I've been researching & watching Dr Barkley's webinars on the topic and my god I hope we at least make some headway because we cannot go on like this, please please let something help.

[judge-her-not]

So far today I’ve called two different doctors to make appointments for myself and Poppy to be screened for ADD/ADHD. I’ve done so much reading recently on how it presents so differently in females than in males. Her anxiety and bedtime meltdowns. Telling me she wants to be happy but doesn’t know how. Telling me she can’t turn her brain off. Her sensory processing issues. And, of course, this led me down a rabbit hole of looking up symptoms in adult women and, well, here we are. So I did one of the things that makes me THE MOST ANXIOUS and called some doctors. My appointment is next week on the day I had initially scheduled my ten week pregnancy checkup. Instead of a baby, I’m getting some speed. Life, man.

[skywalkerchick1138]

My therapist recently said she had strong reasons to believe I may have undiagnosed autism and encouraged me to start researching symptoms, talk to my parents, etc. One of the reasons why was because I explained to her I was scared I would lose my job as a barista because I kept having meltdowns when I was positioned at the coffee bar. I didn’t consciously realize it at first, but the reason why was because it was by far the noisiest place in the cafe; all the machines grinding and blending and steaming, and the customers grouping around pickup, and the music stereo installed directly overhead. Add a drive thru headset into the mix, and I was overwhelmed to the point of tears. Turns out it’s common for autistic people to experience sensory overload like that.

So after looking that up as well as some other common symptoms, I called my mom and explained what was going on and the discussion I’d had with my therapist. I asked her if she remembered anything about my behavior as a kid that might indicate autistic symptoms. She couldn’t really think of anything at first. I started explaining some of the common ones like sensory overload and told her about my troubles at work, and it was like I could sense the lightbulb in her brain turning on even over the phone.

She explained to me that when I was about 3 years old, I would get so mad at my parents when they would start singing along to my Disney movies (both my parents have very strong, operatic voices.) They’d start singing and I would apparently clamp my hands over my ears, scream “STOP SINGING!!” and run for my bedroom.

According to her, they thought I was just being a little diva.

(To be fair, it’s not like my parents weren’t completely inattentive. By the time I reached 3rd grade, I was taken to a specialist to get tested for ADHD, which they thought I might’ve had because I couldn’t sit still during bedtime stories, constantly lost my homework, and never liked making eye contact. So when the specialist put me in a sound booth and told me to raise my hand every time I heard a beep, of course I passed with flying colors. Of course he turned us away after that one test. My attentiveness to auditory stimuli wasn’t the issue. At least, not in the way he was testing for.)

talking to your parents in your 20's moodboard

[theworldoffostering]

You are doing such a good job with your kids. They are very lucky to have such an involved parent who is so open and approachable. My siblings and I had a lot of emotional issues but had to suppress them living in an Eastern European home where feelings were taboo to show and especially talk about. I'm always so glad to see parents who encourage kids to express themselves.

Awww thanks anon!

DS is giving us a run for our money.

He did have a meltdown tonight, but not a full blown rage. He was pretty angry. He was able to tell us he needed food. We got that for him but he continued to fall apart. I think it’s the noise that gets to him (it bothers me too). You guys, the baby screams ALL the time. He’s not screaming because he’s crying, he’s screaming because he wants something or he’s frustrated or annoyed. Is this normal? I can’t remember in my continual state of too much stress and sleep deprivation. It is so stressful to listen to and just adds to the chaos in a small home with several young children.

After DS went to his room I brought his food into him and he said he wanted to be left alone. He was getting sassier and I was getting angry so I let him be and just continued on with dinner. It is critical that DH and I are calm when DS is raging or about to. At any rate, he came out of his room about ten minutes later asking if he could go outside and scream. We gave him other options looking for a compromise. I was a little nervous the neighbors would call the police if they heard him screaming in the yard. He agreed to go in the basement and screamed and stomped his feet. Then he came up and apologized for his earlier behavior and seemed okay afterwards. I said that I thought some quiet space would be good. He agreed and asked to play cards on the porch. DH played with him for twenty minutes and is putting him to bed now. Victory?

He raged at least three nights this week after having four or five days in a row where he didn’t.

He had fasting blood work done last week and we got the results yesterday. His cholesterol is high! He’s ten. What the what? His overall number is 218. Apparently that may be a daily from his abilify and antidepressant interacting?

We tried to get into see a new psych. Wait list is six months. Not sure what to do next but desperate to get him off the abilify. We moved his dose today from dinnertime to 12:30pm. Hoping maybe that will help since he seems to struggle most between after school and bedtime (4-7pm). He was taking it at night because it made him sleepy. Wondering if maybe all of his meds wear off by the afternoon (he takes the antidepressant and ADHD medications in the morning around 7am).

His current prescriber wants us to go back to the 5mg dose. We are very reluctant to do that. Thinking if we can’t manage this week we may try him at like 3 or 3.5mg but then we have to figure out how to cut the pill up accordingly. In addition to the high cholesterol, he's gained a good 15-20 pounds since November when he started the medication. He's always been tiny so that's a lot of weight for him. He's gained eight pounds alone since February. Sheesh! It would be so awesome to have a decent provider on board so we weren’t doing this alone. Google is awesome, but not as great as an actual doctor who will work with you and wants to see your kid be successful.