#Addiction Medicine near me

[standardofcare1]

Standard of Care | Addiction Doctor in North Palm Beach FL

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[just-a-ghost00]

Who's coming towards you and what do they bring to the table?

Group 1 - Spider lilly

Who are they? In Japanese culture, the spider lily is believed to bloom near graves. It is associated with the afterlife and the notions of death and rebirth. This flower holds a very scorpionic energy. It is also a symbol of eternal love. This specific white lily shown in the picture is also a symbol of purity and innocence. If we take that into account, the person coming towards you can be viewed as mysterious and deep, somewhat cold. But once you get to know them, you realize that they are rather outgoing and pure, kind and childlike. They marvel at the beauty of life and want nothing but to love and be loved.

Looking at the different cards you got, there’s a lot of emphasis on communication and voicing one’s opinions or truth without fear. This person could have a beautiful voice. They could be a singer or a spokesperson, an advocate or any other profession that involves speaking to a large audience. This person seems to be shy and rather harsh on themselves. They take pride in what they do and the values they stand for. When their actions are not in alignment with their ideals, they tend to criticize themselves a lot. They are represented by Bismuth and Turquoise, both blue crystals. The throat chakra holds an important significance to this person, as well as emotions, intuition and water. Blue could be their favorite color. This person could burn themselves out often by being present for others more than showing up for themselves. They could get throat sickness quite often, especially when they are repressing their truth or telling lies. They have a sharp tongue. They use their voice to shed light on what is contradictory or what needs to evolve. They help people shift their perspective. Teaching could also be their career path.

What do they bring to the table? - Queen of pentacles, 7 of wands, 4 of cups, The Moon, The Fool, Judgement, White Numen

This person brings in major shifts in your life. Renewal is the best way to describe it. They will literally put your world upside down in order to help you gain perspective on what is going on. They’ll show you that there’s nothing wrong in standing for what you believe in. They’ll also teach you how to be the bigger person and choose your battles wisely. They’ll help you introspect and listen to your intuition, take a new start in life and get retribution by accomplishing what you were meant to do in this life time. This person will help you find your true calling and your voice in this global cacophony that is the world we currently live in. With them, you will create a reality in your image. They will also help you value yourself more and set yourself free from any dependence or addiction. They’ll help you detach yourself from people’s judgmental views. Significant zodiac signs for this group are Taurus, Cancer and Scorpio. You can wear blue or connect to the energy of Bismuth and Turquoise to understand this person better on a spiritual level and manifest them into your life.

Group 2 - Lavender

Who are they? Lavender is known to have soothing properties. It is often used in aromatherapy to ease the mind and release tensions related to anxiety, stress. Lavender is a symbol of devotion, serenity and grace. With its purple petals, it could be associated with the spiritual realm. This person is very delicate and kind hearted. They consider people with a lot of care and kindness. They have a pure heart and make people feel safe. They remind me of Taurus and their Venusian sensual and loving energy. This person is down to earth and wise beyond their years. Their crown chakra is highly active. It wouldn’t surprise me if this person already connected with you through your dreams. They could very well be a therapist, a reiki practitioner, a healer that uses alternative medicines or unconventional practices like crystal healing or sound healing. This is further confirmed by two cards of the Threads of fate deck that are related to air and ether : share wisdom and The Sage. This person is a guide and mentor to others. They could be a teacher, some type of guru or an important public figure, a coach, a counselor. This person is very powerful and influent. They could have published a book or a study or shared their experience and what they learned over time online.

They are represented by the hammerhead shark. They have a lot of determination and drive. They are also incredibly mature. They could very well be older than you. I’d say at least ten years older. Purple and blue could be their favorite colors. If they were a major arcana, I think this person would be the Hermit. So Cancer could also be relevant. They are also represented by Kyanite and Amethyst. Kyanite is advised to people who feel restless, who overthink or get caught in their mental space too often. This shows that this person is a deep thinker. They take things seriously and meticulously. Amethyst is often used in spiritual practices to deepen our connection to the spirit realm and gain clarity. To hone our psychic skills. This person feels very connected to their higher self. They know who they are, what they were meant to do and where they’re heading. They are focused on their mission and won’t lose their time with insignificant matters.

What do they bring to the table? - 7 of cups, 3 of wands, 9 of cups, Temperance, 4 of swords, The Lovers, 5 of swords Other significant zodiac signs are Gemini, Sagittarius and Pisces. This person will teach you how to identify your needs and choose a path that is in alignment with your higher self and your highest good. They’ll help you find balance and emotional satisfaction in the projects that you pursue, the actions you take. They’ll teach you how to recognize the symptoms of anxiety and being overwhelmed by life so that you can retreat and protect yourself. They’ll teach you how to pick your battles wisely and ignore petty attitudes from your peers. They’ll help you handle the pressure of being your true self and choosing yourself over others. They’ll teach you how to love yourself and how to love, how to be in love and receive love. I can say here that this relationship has romantic potential. Surprisingly this part of the reading is the shortest but I feel like there’s no need to overanalyze this because this person will be pretty clear with their intent : they’re here to help and support you, "and that is all you need to know" they want to add.

Group 3 - Sunflower

Who are they? I associate the Sunflower with the bold and brave Leo. I heard in my mind "only the brave" which is the name of a perfume from Diesel. So this could be this person’s perfume. With it’s bright colors and relation to the sun, it is safe to say this person has a bright personality. They are outgoing and friendly, like to be seen and admired. They take great care of their body and appearance. Hence the fragrance reference. This person is cheerful and ambitious. They don’t like lying down and contemplating. They would rather act first and think later. They could have anger issues and sometimes be jealous. The signs of Leo and Aries could be significant. Blue and green could be their favorite colors. This person is represented by the whale shark and the octopus. They are very clever and resilient. They have a strong moral compass and always lead their life according to their values and principles. They remind me of Changbin from Stray Kids. This person likes to make their own mind instead of following others. They’re a natural leader and a loner. With The Creator card and the Withdraw card from the Threads of fate deck, this tells me that this person is creative and works independently. They could be a fashion designer, a writer, a producer, a webdesigner, an architect, a freelance artist in any domain. This person could be known on social media. On the withdraw card is a sleeping fox. This tells me that this person likes their solitude. They need time alone to recharge and create. They don’t like showing people their tricks. They like to surprise and impress. The creator card shows a hand holding a wand. This for some reason reminds me of Harry Potter. Maybe your person is a potter head. In this case, they’re the typical Gryffindor : athletic, loyal, thinks with their heart (or something else a bit lower when the heart isn’t functioning). They have a strong sex drive and are pretty sensual. Their body matters a lot to them. They go to the gym often.

What do they bring to the table? - 2 of cups, ace of swords, page of wands, ace of pentacles, six of cups, The Tower, 7 of wands

To put it simply, they bring love, sex and a whole lot of fun. But this will be challenging for you, as you are not used to this type of energy. Significant zodiac signs are Scorpio, Sagittarius and Pisces. They bring in new opportunities and a new start romantically speaking. They bring in new experiences and that includes sexuality. They will help you reconnect with the past and make amends with it. They will help you heal your inner child and release trauma regarding intimacy. They will challenge you and push your buttons to get the best out of you. That is their way of showing you love. This is the type of person that will wake you up one morning and get you out of bed to work out with them, and gently scream at you positive affirmations while you’re working on that "summer body" you always wanted. They’ll show you how to have fun with life and explore all the hidden parts of you that you were burying because you were afraid of rejection. They’ll cut through your walls and uncover your masks for you so that you can finally get the happy ending that you deserve. They’ll be your knight in shining armor except that instead of saving you they’ll get you to save yourself. If you ever try to push them away, they’ll only come back stronger and needier. You won’t get rid of them easily.

[collegeboysam]

Armand worries for/about Daniel in so many little moments even since season 1, it's driving me INSANE.

It's Armand the one who tells Daniel he's going to take his medicine there and how his doctor has already been contacted for the details. He says Louis arranged it, but did he? We have seen Armand arrange everything in there, we even see the doctor sitting next to "Rashid" after he gives Daniel the iv drip. When Louis is feeding from "Rashid" in front of Daniel, Louis asks Daniel if he wants a taste and Armand gets this weird look about it (we know Daniel gets addicted to Armand's blood in the books) and then starts to get upset telling Daniel he wouldn't let him near his neck/his blood. He has a worried/unsettled look when Louis says he would give Daniel the dark gift now. Armand even asks Louis if he can leave at that moment. He's the one who stops Louis when he's ramping up Daniel's parkinson's. He reassures Daniel when they bring up Alice and apologizes for it afterwards, he knows how to make drinks exactly how Daniel likes them, asks real Rashid if anyone approached Daniel when they were out, he mentions how doing drugs back in the day caused more damage to Daniel than anything Armand ever did. He looks miserable when Daniel says he doesn't forgive him.

Armand is Daniel's all-loving demonic god indeed.

[britts-galaxy-brain]

... Didn't Lily say in a patreon audio she was doped out on some kind of pain med? you know, a drug that only just-so-happens to be medically approved? (I know medicinal weed also exists but still)

Lily, is it "drugs=evil!!!" or not? Medication and even CAFFINE still count as drugs/addictive substances, doesn't matter if it's doctor-approved or if you can buy it in a cup from a cafe.

Tells me immediately she's most likely yelling out of her ass just to attack people like Courtney and Sai.

From what I hear, she claimed to be on oxy. Which I'm calling bullshit on since that stuff is damn near impossible to get due to the swaths of damage it caused, and the fact that it basically started the opioid crisis. It's one of the most addictive pain killers you can be on, and it's the reason a lot of people shifted to harder street drugs if they lost access to it.

Once again another instance of it's only okay when Lily "does" it.

[wishcamper]

Cassian Appreciation Week Day Six: Birthday

here's a late night submish for birthday day for @cassianappreciationweek inspired by a summer i spent in the Outer Banks and some hardcore 2017 nostalgia

You can read it here or on ao3!

Hands Down

In which Nesta avoids her life in New York, and accidentally helps Cassian avoid his birthday.

CW: brief mention of rape, addiction, and verbal abuse

The words are hushed, let's not get busted Just lay entwined here, undiscovered Safe in here from all the stupid questions "Hey, did you get some?" Man, that is so dumb Stay quiet, stay near, stay close, they can't hear So we can get some My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me So won't you kill me, so I die happy? My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury Or wear as jewelry, whichever you prefer. “Hands Down”, Dashboard Confessional

The warm blanket of the sun lay over her skin, cares drifting off with every gentle gust of the wind, gulls crying overhead instead of traffic, the smell of salt and sunscreen instead of smog.

The beach was beautiful, paradise, but mostly Nesta was just so fucking glad to be away from her life.

A Hot Girl Summer was exactly what she needed, according to her friends, at least to get the hell out of New York for the summer. There was no better way to reclaim herself than to join Emerie in her oceanside hometown, they said, to help her aging parents run the hotel they’d owned for decades on the Outer Banks. And on their days off to lounge on the sun-drenched beach drinking White Claws and talking shit and ranking the steamiest passages from their respective novels.

And, of course, checking out The Lifeguard.

They called him The Lifeguard because they didn’t know his name, but Emerie and Gwyn were too perceptive not to notice Nesta had been ogling him every chance she got. Forbidden catnip man , Gwyn sometimes called him, as he was everything Nesta denied she was attracted to even though she totally was: long hair, rough around the edges, covered in tattoos. Just admit you have a thing for men who look like they’ll ruin your life, Emerie said.

Nesta’s typical type skewed more straight-laced, finance guys and trust fund yuppies, or else the semi-starved academics who could quote Salinger but couldn’t find the clitoris. There was a comfort in knowing they’d turn out to be shitty, but it was all so fucking shallow, the idea of a couple instead of two people really into each other. In the end she got fed up, or they cheated, or some stupid argument made it clear that things were going nowhere.

It was never surprising, but the breakups always left her with a pit of self-doubt deep inside, that perhaps she was really the common denominator in all these relationships, that the treatment she got was earned.

And then there was Tomas. Her ex-fiance was different from the others, which she’d first thought was a good thing - understated, from a working-class family. Nothing electric about their dynamic, but steady, normal. He didn’t embarrass her at work events, didn’t flirt with her sisters. He would cat-sit occasionally for a friend, which she saw as a green flag. They dated for a few years without incident, and so when he proposed in front of Bethesda Fountain in Central Park, Nesta thought to herself, This is fine. 

I can make this work. I can figure out how to be happy.

Over the next year the venue was booked, dress bought, her conservative mother finally gave up on a religious ceremony. Then three months before the wedding Nesta got a DM from a girl claiming she’d slept with Tomas after meeting him at the Biergarten at The Standard. 

Nesta remembered that night vividly. Tomas had told her he wasn’t feeling well, and she’d assumed he didn’t answer her texts because he was sleeping, going so far as to send an Instacart delivery to his apartment with food and medicine.

The girl had receipts, and Nesta’s self-respect had no choice. When she’d gone to his apartment to break things off he verbally attacked her, spewing a laundry list of her worst fears. That if she’d put out more regularly, been more affectionate, a better fiance, he wouldn’t have needed to cheat on her. That what she saw as her autonomy was actually his inconvenience, and she was selfish for wanting it in the first place. Nesta remembered his face twisting with fury as if his skin was splitting open, revealing the monster who’d lived inside all along as she wondered if this was all her fault.

So she preferred to admire The Lifeguard from afar, afraid of what might emerge if she were to do something he didn’t like. Perhaps more afraid that something about her brought that side out in the men she dated, whatever flaw lay within.

They were giggling about Gwyn’s book now, a little tipsy from a few hours on the beach, the hum of a four wheeler passing by. Nesta felt the muscle between her neck and shoulder relax for the first time in months. She turned back to a juicy part in her own novel when a shadow blocked the sun, and she looked up to find The Lifeguard standing over her with a smirk on his stupid, handsome face.

“Oh it’s you! Nesta’s Life-” Gwyn said brightly, and Nesta suppressed the urge to kick her, though thankfully her friend caught herself. “-long dream is to, is for me to learn how to.. Surf? We saw you out with your friend the other day.””

Nesta would’ve covered her face in her hands if his eyes didn’t slide to her then, stealing all the breath from her fucking lungs. God, it had to be a crime to be that good-looking. Curly black hair thrown up in a bun, tattoos over his tanned chest and shoulders that would’ve looked douchey on anyone else, anyone who didn’t have the muscles for them to dip and swirl across. He had an annoyingly nice smile that made her want to be mean to him, though something about those mischievous hazel eyes made Nesta think he’d probably like it.

“That is very specific. I’d love to once you get rid of those,” he said, pointing to the cans buried in the sand beside them. “You know you can’t drink on the beach. I’m gonna have to ask you to pour those out.”

The Lifeguard smiled then, and she saw he had a dimple that made her want to chug her drink in front of him defiantly. His accent was like honey whisky. A giant red buoy was slung across his back, but he was so huge Nesta could only see the top poke over a tattooed shoulder, which annoyed her for some reason. Her voice came out harsher than she meant it to when she sat up on her elbow.

“Are you kidding? We’re not bothering anyone.”

“I know, but I really need to go bust those douchebags and they’ll give me shit if I leave y’all alone,” he said, crouching down right next to Nesta’s towel so he could whisper conspiratorially, indicating over his shoulder at a group of twenty or so frat guys who’d been at it for a while. “I’m telling you to pour it out. If it happens to fall into a cup on the way, like say the cups we have at the guard stand over there, then so be it.”

His breath smelled like cinnamon and Nesta felt her friends vibrating behind her from holding in their giggles, praying her face looked red from the sun and not her mortification.

“Fine. Thanks.”

“Thanks. And if you do ever want me to teach your.. friend how to surf, you know where to find me.” The Lifeguard had the audacity to wink at her then before standing and walking up the beach without so much as a backwards glance, Gwyn and Emerie dissolving into excited conversation the moment he was out of earshot.

“Nesta! Why didn’t you ask for his number?” Gwyn whacked Nesta on the arm, exasperated.

“Because he was reprimanding us, hardly sexy.”

“Mm, speak for yourself,” Emerie said, they all turned to watch him walk toward the rowdy group of guys, his red shorts hiding nothing.

Suddenly, The Lifeguard stilled, his body rigid and attention drawn to the shoreline. Nesta turned her head to where he was looking and saw nothing, but before she knew it a flash of red streaked by and he was racing toward the water, rescue buoy in hand, diving into the waves and paddling with strong arms toward where Nesta could now just make out a young boy’s head slipping under the water.

Activity exploded around them - the screeching of a whistle, another guard racing back to speak into a radio at the station, red light flashing atop it. People were standing and pointing, chatter sweeping down the beach and The Lifeguard had almost reached the boy who still wasn’t resurfacing, water spraying around him before he dove, the buoy a startling marker of where both were underwater now in the churning sea. Nesta felt dizzy and realized she was holding her breath, the seconds stretching into years in her mind until two heads broke the surface and all the air rushed out of her, mesmerized by the way he gently guided the child to the float and smiled .

Then he turned so his back was to the beach and began to kick toward the shore. She could see the boy nodding as if The Lifeguard were speaking to him, giving him instructions, before he tipped his head back and let himself be pulled. When they reached the surf another guard ran down to meet him, and Nesta realized an ambulance had arrived, two EMTs jumping out in preparation.

The next half hour was a whirlwind of flashing lights and higher-ups coming to file reports, gawkers and bottleneckers crowding the parking lot. Nesta saw The Lifeguard chewing out who she guessed was the kid’s father, a man so drunk he leaned against the guard station to stay upright, sunburnt with unfocused eyes.

At last the ambulance cleared the parking lot, no lights or sirens as the boy was awake and talking. Emerie said it was probably protocol to get evaluated for something called ‘dry drowning’.

“Yeah, it can kill you even hours after you get out of the water. Not worth the risk.”

The Lifeguard had come up behind them somehow and was watching the ambulance turn onto the main road. Gwyn beamed in that way she did where her face became the sun, grasping him on the forearm.

“That was really impressive. I’m so glad you were able to get to him.”

“All in the job,” he said vaguely, waving a bored hand. Nesta couldn’t help but notice it was shaking. “Let’s talk about nicer things. Are y’all working here for the summer or just visiting?”

“I grew up down in Kill Devil Hills,” Emerie said, shading her eyes to look up at him. “My parents run The Windhaven. Gwyn and Nesta are escaping New York for the summer with me.”

“You might know my friend Rhys’ family, the Nights.”

Emerie snorted. “You mean the Nights who own half of Corolla? Yeah, I know them.”

“I’m Cassian,” he said directly to Nesta then, a look in his eyes she didn’t recognize, and that feeling of wanting to be mean to him rose once more. “We’re having a party tonight if you want to come by.”

There was a shuffle in which Gwyn and Emerie somehow couldn’t find their phones, forcing Nesta to hand over hers for The Lifeguard - Cassian - to put his number in. He typed for an absurdly long time as he and Emerie continued to chat about people they both knew before handing the phone back to Nesta, turning to leave with a little salute.

“So we’re going right?” Gwyn said, bouncing up on her toes with a vigor usually reserved for karaoke night at The Brass Monkey.

“Oh absolutely,” said Emerie. “I have to see how disgustingly huge their house is.”

Nesta ignored their matching grins and looked at her phone to where this supposed mansion was, how much of a pain it would be to go. Cassian had sent a text to himself, an address for somewhere in the Four Seasons complex, and saved his number as ‘Nesta’s Lifeguard’. 

It was followed by an emoji of waves and, absurdly, a bat.

—

Cassian couldn’t believe he was sitting across from the hottest woman he’d ever seen and it was his birthday and she was at his house and oh god there were so many ways this could go wrong.

Mor went all-out for his birthday as usual, flickering lights in the magnolias, Jell-O shots and jungle juice, her signature ‘Get Everyone Laid’ playlist pouding from the outdoor speakers of the giant Night estate. It still boggled his mind sometimes how wealthy she and her cousin were, despite living in proximity to it for nearly two decades.

Cassian wasn’t in the mood for celebrating though, his body still humming with adrenaline after the close call on his shift. He’d swallowed the more colorful insults he’d wanted to hurl at the kid’s father, recognizing it was his own shit coming up, the past becoming present as his therapist would say. His image of his own deadbeat dad was rotten at the best of times, though it always festered more strongly on his birthday.

There wasn’t any use in running from the facts: his father had raped his mother, she’d given birth to him while addicted to heroin, and then he’d been in the system long enough to leave a few scars before getting a long-term placement with the Nights. They’d tried over the years to make his birthday a happy time, but it never took. And so another sad kid hated his birthday, then turned into an adult who pretended it didn’t happen. Case fucking closed.

But Mor wanted a party, and so a party they were having. And Cassian couldn’t be too annoyed with her given it was the perfect opportunity to ask The Librarian to speak to him for more than five chilly seconds.

Nesta, a name as unique and lovely as she was. Not the name he’d imagined for her when he snuck glances from the chair, though he’d never pegged her as a Brittany or a Chelsea or any else so common. In his head he started calling her the Librarian, because every day he saw her she had a new book, and every day she’d leave having finished it. God, she was so, so far out of his league.

He’d nearly choked on his beer when she and her friends walked through the back gate, drawn by the sounds of the party in full swing. Azriel clapped a knowing hand on his shoulder and pushed him forward, encouraging, as if Cassian weren’t already spearing toward her to intercept her group before Mor or Rhys tried to hijack them. They both loved to compete over women, and though Mor had the better average Rhys was the winner for repeat customers. Cassian himself had the highest count the first few weeks of summer, but he’d dropped off the ranking altogether the first time The Librarian laid down in front of him on her powder blue towel.

Cassian showed them around to buy time, the cavernous house large enough to get lost in. Her redheaded friend was fascinated by the elevator, but he saw the way her sunset sound-colored eyes lingered on the secluded porch swing, wondered if she was picturing herself curled up there with a book.

From there the evening went surprisingly well, all told, his friends giving him a wide enough berth which they likely considered a birthday gift. Once Nesta shot a few glares at them when they tried to hover nearby, eavesdropping, and Rhys winked at him over her shoulder, crossing himself for prayer and mouthing Good luck .

But Nesta seemed to like talking to him for some reason, didn’t try to drift away or lose him like women did when they weren’t interested. He even managed to be funny despite usually losing all his wits when he really liked someone, which was a blessing as it allowed him to hear her tinkling laugh above the music. A lock of her hair brushed his shoulder when she tipped her head back and he was so fucking gone, so nervous about doing something to mess this up.

As the party wound down they ended up on a couple of sun loungers pushed together by the pool. Cassian was mystified that Nesta was still here, still talking to him about New York, tide patterns, his childhood cat Devlon. There was nothing she didn’t have an opinion about, and when her smooth leg brushed his, the coconut scent of her lotion begged him to run his tongue all the way up to where her freckle-dusted skin disappeared beneath her shorts.

Cassian excused himself before he lost his head, and once back in the kitchen for a refill Rhys and Mor cornered him, demanding to know why he wasn’t halfway inside The Librarian already.

“Y’all are creepy, you know that?”

Mor’s tongue was bright blue from the Jell-O shots when she stuck it out at him, Rhys’ waving a bored hand in front of his face. “You never wait this long. You must be head over heels.”

“He is,” Azriel mumbled as he shuffled in, noise-canceling headphones slung around his neck. “He turned down that girl we met at Avalon pier yesterday.”

Cassian said nothing, only stuffed his head farther into the fridge to reach the two non-shit beers he’d stashed in the back. He could smell Mor’s cherry chapstick when she leaned down beside him, her eyes narrowed in scrutiny when he turned. 

“Oh my god, you like her!”

“We’re just talking, nothing is happening.”

They didn’t believe him, obviously, but were kind enough to only smirk after him as he went back outside to where he’d left Nesta lounging on a deck chair. 

“Follow me,” he said furtively, adding when she looked confused, “My friends are being assholes, I don’t want to subject you to that.” They had a few minutes lead time before the vultures descended, and he didn’t want his nosy housemates fucking this up.

“Assholes about what?” She twirled a lock of gold-brown hair around her finger, silver nail polish flashing in the low lights surrounding the pool. “Oh, because you want to fuck me.”

She said it like it was a test he’d already failed, and Cassian was so caught off guard by the whole thing his response came out stammering, over-cautious.

“No, no, not at all.”

Her brow furrowed, confusion flickering across her face. “You don’t?”

Just then Mor’s laugh sparkled above them as she heaved the sliding door open and stepped onto the upper deck, followed by Rhys’ voice asking, “Where the hell did Cass go?”

“He better be getting his dick sucked so he’ll stop being so grumpy.”

“A hundred bucks says the closest she gets to his balls is a swift kick.”

Cassian was grateful for the darkness that hid his blush as they crept on silent steps to the end of the dock, past where the lights could pick out their silhouettes against the midnight bay. Back at the house they could see the others playing beer pong now on the deck, Nesta’s red-headed friend - Gwen? - bouncing up and down in victory after making a shot. He buried his surprise that Az had yet to go to bed despite his 7:00am shift start, and couldn’t help but wonder if a certain pair of long, slender legs had anything to do with it.

Smirking to himself, Cassian produced the beers from his hoodie and Nesta cracked one open.

“Done policing my drinking now, are you?”

“Just doing my job, Nes. You’re lucky I didn’t bust you for reading porn in public. There are children around, you know.”

She gave a defiant sniff and sipped her beer primly, the night wind whipping her hair about her heart-shaped face. “If women enjoying their sexuality intimidates you, just say so.”

He grinned, a thrill running through him at how self-possessed she was. Most women he dated were either under- or over-impressed by him, neither one earned, but he felt like Nesta was challenging him to rise to her level, to show up unapologetically as she was.

“You’re the only one who intimidates me, sweetheart, but I get the feeling you like it that way.”

She started shivering once the wind kicked up, and he offered her the hoodie too after a while, the gray fabric swallowing her, long sleeves pooling around her wrists. She looked so fucking cute he had to concentrate hard on what she was saying, though he couldn’t avoid the dopey grin that surely split his face in half watching her wave her arms about as she described their encounter with the rowdy group after he’d finished work. Apparently the guys had tried to pick up Nesta and her friends, albeit unsuccessfully.

“They thought it was going really well. It made me a bit sad for them, actually. Are your friends upset?”

The sharp turn in topic threw him, but Nesta just stared at him in that same increasing way, demanding truth in everything. Cassian swallowed, deciding to chance just that, to tell her what only three other people at that party knew.

“They’re fine, just pissed because I’m not letting them give me alcohol poisoning for my birthday.”

“Today is your birthday?” 

“Yeah.”

“This is your birthday party, the party we’re currently at.” Nesta looked flabbergasted, one hand at her forehead, the other gripping his arm.

“Uh huh.”

She released his arm and quirked her head to the side then, eyes narrowing. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I don’t really feel like celebrating. My birth wasn’t exactly a happy occasion.”

Her expression fell into one of understanding, and Cassian felt the rest of the truth stick in his throat, too dense and painful to dredge up now. Nesta scooted a bit closer and allowed her thigh to rest against his, her skin warm in the night air.

“Is that little boy okay?” she asked quietly, and for a terrifying moment he thought she was asking about his fucking inner child before remembering the rescue earlier.

“Yeah, he’s fine. Well, he has a negligent fucking father, but physically he’s fine.”

Cassian was surprised when she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. He dared to pick up her hand and hold it, and when she didn’t immediately pull away he stroked the back with a thumb, tracing the bones.

“Look, my friends - they can be pushy,” he sighed. “I just want to be clear that I don’t have any expectations of you. I’m having a really good time just doing this.”

“Thanks. I’d gathered as much, but it’s nice to hear out loud. I’ve sort of sworn off men for the moment, anyway.”

Her hair was rippling behind her in ribbons and she looked so beautiful amongst the elements like this, but there was a sadness, a grief about her he’d never noticed before. As her words registered Cassian flipped her hand over and traced the lines of her palm. There was that piercing authenticity again, and it made him feel bold even as he fully expected her to shove him off the dock into the sound.

“Look, I don’t want to be presumptuous but you did come to my party. And I can’t even say it was for the free booze, because that’s the only drink you’ve had all night. Your friends have let you be all night. So if you’ve sworn off men, then why are you here?”

She didn’t answer, looking away, but he felt the pulse of chemistry between them, sharp and aching. Whatever National Geographic pheromones her body was giving off sent him into caveman brain, but even more so he wanted to pull her closer, to press his lips to the soft skin of her neck.

“Why are you here, Nes?” he repeated, squeezing at her hand until she looked back at him.

“Because I wanted to see if I could do it. Talk to a guy and have it be normal, feel nice.” Her voice was shaking, palm turning slick with sweat. “And it has. Thanks.”

They sat in silence for a while after that, listening to the waves lapping against the dock, the quiet rippling of the sound until she launched back into the story of the bros from the beach and they were off once more.

As the moon sank lower he took his phone out and shined it close to the water, pointing out the spade-shaped flounder on the bottom, their creepy, crowded eyes making Nesta shudder and draw her feet up from where they’d been dangling over the edge. Too bright to go gigging , he told her, and a blue crab scuttled by under the light, tiny claws raised with bravado.

“They say nature has an aspiration to be crab-like. Apparently evolution has made and remade crabs around five to six times,” she replied, and his heart was about to explode for wanting to kiss her. 

She was so sharp, so interesting it staggered him. Cassian knew he was right to have named her The Librarian, some freaky premonition, because she knew fucking everything about everything. He ran her through an exhaustive list of topics, her gestures getting more and more animated, smile flashing with the thrill of winning his game. Finally he discovered she knew nothing about constellations, and instead of gloating he pointed out Scorpius and Sagittarius, lining their arms up with her wrist in his grasp, drawing her pointed finger between dots in the sky.

The porch lights back at the house shut off before either thought to look at the time, and Cassian watched Nesta scroll through a few texts, finger twirling once more in her wind-tousled hair.

“Do you need a ride?” he asked, but she shook her head.

“My friends are already home, I was going to get a car.”

“Not many Ubers after 2:00. Let me take you home.”

They walked over to the ocean side and rode down the deserted beach on a pilfered four-wheeler from the guard stand. Moonlight casting everything in a silvery glow, gentle waves lapping at the shore. He told her over his shoulder about a time they’d tricked Rhys into eating a bowl of sea oats when they were younger, drawing forth once more that world-changing laugh.

As the houses grew closer together along the shore he felt her rest her head on his shoulder, and her breath tickled his neck as she yawned quietly. Everything felt very fast and very slow at the same time, some sort of delicious chaos that made him dizzy enough he had to grip the handlebars tighter to avoid tipping over. When they arrived at her house Cassian was punch-drunk and heated, so he was delighted when she accepted his offer to walk her to the door. 

He hopped the fence to unlatch the gate from the inside, didn’t miss the way her eyes roved over his arms when he secured the lock at the top once she’d passed through. They stood there for a moment under the porch lights, moths fluttering, staring as if waiting for the other to say goodnight first so as to not be responsible for ending this.

“I’m trying to think of something rude to say to make you go away, but I’m drawing a blank. I like you,” Nesta said. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I do. Like you.”

Then Cassian felt he might like his birthday after all as she leaned upward and kissed him like she meant it.

A few magical moments later she pushed off from his chest and smiled, disappearing into the house, the cool rush of AC carrying the scent of coconut out into the night. He was smiling so hard his jaw might break as he vaulted back over the fence, hopped onto the four-wheeler and drove home as fast as he dared, wind screaming in his ears, though nothing could sweep away the feel of her lips on his, the soft curve of her waist under his hand. The way he felt like he already knew her, had known her forever, and this was just the beginning of something that would change his entire fucking life.

About a mile from the house, Cassian paused to look out over the ocean, the briny tang filling his nose and lungs. Seagrass whispered along the dunes, and he saw the eyes of a ghost crab light up when he pulled out his phone, scuttling toward a thatch of seaweed where it disappeared.

Az: hey i can’t cover your afternoon on saturday, i’m taking the redhead surfing Mor: SO BABY PULL ME CLOSER IN THE BACKSEAT OF YOUR ROVER honestly get a new gimmick, the four-wheeler thing is getting not cute but if it ain’t broke yknow Rhys: Happy Birthday, I hope the prickly one is giving you a nice present. Rhys: I might have already stalked her instagram Rhys: And I also might have sent her sister a dm Rhys: Have fun Cassie 😄

He was about to put the phone back in his pocket when another notification popped up, one that made him feel like his body, his soul, his whole world was made from moonlight.

Cassian’s Librarian 📖🦀: call me later Cassian’s Librarian 📖🦀: i mean it Cassian’s Librarian 📖🦀: i know where you live

[loveofbots]

Sfw and nsfw head cannons for tarn please? Reader or cannon don't really care.

Shoutout @starscreamscorpse for calling beloved Tarn ‘mista taint’

I (lovingly) hate tarn so please take this with a grain of salt

SFW:

- Tarn is a loner in all senses of the word. He doesn’t ask for help, not even Nickel. He trusted people before and that led to his empurata, and then his abandonment from the academy, now he simply directs his team without confiding in anyone except Decepticon high command.

- To tarn, being a Decepticon is a belief. I know we joke about him dick riding megatron (he does) but the Decepticon cause gave him purpose. It gave him someone to believe in, a support system even.

- Advocate for universal healthcare, most likely due to Nickel’s influence.

- Tarn actually likes to sing. Even as Damos! I imagine he sings by himself most days, and actually writes his own music. In his perfect world, maybe he’d be a prodigy and launch Cybertron into an age of art. But of course, his story is one of tragedy.

- Tarn is harsh on the DJD. He may be friendly but he has a short temper, and will easily snap at people he considers his ‘friends.’ He’s also highly critical, as we know he started putting Decepticons on the list for increasingly petty reasons near the end of it.

- He’s probably not as grossed out by us squishies as he tells himself. Although he agrees that transformers are better- he would begrudgingly ‘keep the fleshling alive’ if he was instructed to. Because his singing does not affect humans the same way it affects his own race, he would probably grow very fond of singing to them.

- Tarn’s the type to be creepy at first, but he’s just a lonely, hurt Mech on the inside. He takes advantage of other folks like Pharma to fuel his addiction, a gentle hand would help him by light years. Yet he pushes away (and kills) anyone who tries to help. Citing that they are trying to ‘cleanse him.’ Dumbass.

[NO MINOR ZONE]

- His only lover is his hand. I’m serious he gets NO bitches. Every time someone came on to him he would fumble like a dink. Helix is still trying to give him better pickup lines than ‘I won’t kill you… tonight.’

- For me Tarn is on the ace spectrum. He doesn’t want to participate in interfacing, but he likes to watch. You could probably find him in the corner at some swinger parties.

- Normally he doesn’t have time/is too tired to even try to get off. He runs the DJD he’s a busy Mech. Not to say he doesn’t have his own little fantasies.

- Top all the way. He WILL NOT bottom (unless you ask) Tarn likes to feel in charge, superior, loved. He likes to be serviced and he likes the idea of ‘capturing’ someone and making them obey his every word.

- is actually a super awkward bot. His old self- Damos- comes out when he is flirted with. He’s a bashful Mech that can’t take any praise.

- Likes the idea of his partner getting off to his voice, it makes him feel powerful that his voice alone could make someone so down bad (I am looking at you tarn fans)

- cw: drugs!!! He is the WORST person to give a doobie to, this mf takes one hit if a roach and is coughing all night. On another note, he probably does take medicine to help him sleep thanks to mama nickel.

[cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords]

every day the earth trembles under the weight of my potential. I have a 6 hour video essay about arknights and its ludonarrative in me and you motherfuckers are so lucky. So the thing about it thats the most interesting to me, right, is that there's a Magic Material in the worldbuilding. It's called Oriron. It grows in large, crystalline formations, which disperse a harmful dust which causes infection. Individuals infected with Oripathy die. All that medicine is able to do is slow it down. When they near death and after, those who are infected with oripathy start releasing that same dust that causes infection in others. When enough dust is released, it creates a "Catastrophe;" which can take various shapes, but invariably creates MASSIVE deposits of Oriron which fall like comets from the clouds of dust. Cities in the world of arknights have had to be built on moving platforms that roam across the countryside in order to avoid these catastrophes. (Mortal engines vibes btw.)

This material is also how technology, industry, and magic, all function in this world. Utilizing tools with Oriron, you can utilize it to do literal magic. It's also destroying the entire fucking world. Infected get to use the oriron inside them to do magic instead. neat! This kills them. Slowly, but it does.

Arknights is a gacha game. It's built on the same addictive spending models that have ruined so many fucking lives.

The premium currency of the game is. Oriron. Well. Orundum. There's like 60 different kinds of oriron which are all different upgrade materials because again, Gacha game. It's.

In Arknights, you play as "The Doctor", a figure working for a Pharmaceutical Company that is trying to cure oripathy. Amiya is the idealistic leader of said company. I haven't gotten to all the details about her past with the doctor or much of the lore. But her entire goal is to not betray her ideals of being able to be a force of good in a world that's utterly fucked. Because of. The Premium Currency Of The Game.

Anyway the arknights true ending is a free-to-play fangame because the structure of arknights as a media property WILL not allow it to end. And whether it was intentional or not, the fact that the premium currency of the game is also Magic Supercancer DOES make this a more poignant point for me.

In the end, to give Amiya the future she wants to see, we, the players, as doctors, need to see the real cure for Oripathy. We cannot accept the continued use of Oriron for industry. There are hundreds of thousands of disenfranchized Infected, who might be able to help us transition from a society that depends on oriron to a society that does not.

[bluegekk0]

I'm curious to know how LifeBlood works in the FPK AU! Is it still considered taboo to consume LifeBlood? Or does Vyrm not really care much at all about LifeBlood anymore?

The biggest relevance it has in the AU is that Vyrm is, for the lack of a better word, allergic to it. To elaborate, it's basically the only thing he will refuse to eat, and if he's forced to, his body straight up rejects it and he ends up throwing up to get it out of his system.

The taboo aspect is definitely something I have considered. First of all, Vyrm's hatred of it would without a doubt influence how it's viewed in the kingdom, at least in his court. He wouldn't want the substance anywhere near him, as even just the smell of it is enough to make him nauseous. So I could absolutely see that spreading throughout the rest of the land, with the consumption of it being either frowned upon or straight up forbidden in the areas where the crown has the biggest influence.

Another thing is that perhaps it has drug-like qualities. It definitely can be used as a healing substance, the fact that it's described as a coating suggests to me that it could perhaps be used to treat wounds on top of being suitable for consumption. But as is the case with some medicine, it's possible that it could be addictive (like morphine or other substances, for example), which would only add to its taboo nature.

There is the Lifeblood room found in the Abyss, which suggests that the substance might come from some kind of higher being. I'll definitely look into that more once I sit down to properly describe the gods of Hallownest and worldbuilding related to such substances, so I'll have more to share then. Whenever that happens, I'm not sure, but I do want to complete the WorldAnvil page eventually.

[shirshik72]

BiTomas week

Day 2. Injury/Sick day

Author's notes: the characters' images are taken from the classic games and supplemented with my headcannons. This is completely unrelated to "Mortal Kombat 1" (2023).

Content with young!Bitomas affects me addictively. Yes, it's a dependency. No, I won't fight with it.

In the heat of training, it is very important to remain vigilant and attentive, otherwise at some point your ice dagger, not at all in training manners, will cut the thigh of your closest comrade with a deep painful wound. And this could well have remained an empty warning for Kuai Liang if one day he had not been lucky enough to become a direct participant in such an unpleasant story.

— Ouch! — Smoke hisses, grabbing his hip with both hands and doubling over in pain.

— Crap! — Tundra only now realized what he had done. With a quick movement, he clung to Tomas, trying to assess his wound. —  Sorry, I'm a little...

— Everything is fine? — Bi Han’s rough voice calls from behind, unceremoniously interrupting the words of his younger brother.

Someone's hand rests on Kuai Liang's shoulder:

— Let me look, — Hydro asks politely, moving him slightly to the side.

Tundra doesn't resist, only taking a few steps back, getting closer to his older brother. Bi Han's intense gaze does not turn to him, but only silently studies Smoke. Hydro carefully sits the victim on the floor, examining his injury closely. With a quick gesture, he asks Bi Han for a first aid kit, which within a couple of moments ends up in the hands of the water mage. A couple of minutes pass in absolute silence, only thickened by Bi Han’s unfriendly attitude. Having bandaged the wound and stopped the bleeding, Hydro clicked busily, standing on both legs:

— You need to go to the first aid station.

— I don’t think it’s all that serious, — Tomas modestly resists, trying to get up, but only hisses from the pain piercing his thigh.

— You need to go to the first aid station, — the water mage insistently repeats, with a short gesture, lowering Smoke back to the floor. — I’m telling you this as a doctor’s son. Bi Han, will you take him to gaffer Chen?

— I’ll take it, — Kuai Liang interjects. — It’s my fault, it’s up to me to rake it.

— No, — Hydro remarks with a sly smile, placing a hand on his shoulder. With a subtle wink at Tundra, he continued. — Don’t take this as rudeness or underestimation of your abilities, but I’m not entirely sure that you won’t make things worse. The path to the first aid station is long, and you have to carry Smoke in your arms. Of course, I know that you are strong, but I am sure that Sub-Zero is much stronger.

— Okay, — Kuai Liang nodded in bewilderment. He definitely understood that his brother’s friend was up to something, but so far, he could not quite understand what exactly.

— Bi Han? — asks Hydro, to which he just silently picks up Tomas in his arms. — Make sure you don’t drop it, — he adds, grinning.

Sub-Zero no longer pays any attention to his friend's words. Trying to subdue his rapid heartbeat, he mentally thanks all the Elder gods for the fact that the mask perfectly hides his rosy cheeks from prying eyes. Approximately the same thoughts arise in Smoke’s head when he feels Bi Han’s grip on his body. Tundra and Hydro just silently follow the guys with their gazes right up to the exit from the dojo.

— Do you want to bring them together too? — Kuai Liang asks, looking sideways at the guy in bewilderment.

— Indeed it is, comrade.

***

Doctor Chen's hut stood far away on the outskirts of the Lin Kuei fortress. Far from the bustle of the world, the old man, whose age, according to rumors, had already crossed the mark of 100 years, valued the proximity of nature and fresh air too much to place his home in the heart of the fortress, near the dojo. However, he never kicked out visitors, especially when it came to youngsters.

When the doctor was sorting through the dried medicinal herbs he had collected in the mountains, Bi Han’s loud and unceremonious call was heard:

— Hip, — the ninja said briefly, walking deeper into the hut and closing the door behind him.

The deaf old man turned to the guys, pointing to the bed with a simple gesture:

— Here.

Sub-Zero carefully placed Smoke in the indicated place.

— Turn him on his side, — the doctor asked again, hastily changing his glasses. He examined Tomas for a short time, after which he muttered with an important click. — It turned out ugly...

— I can go? — Bi Han asked, trying to hide his anxiety behind his cold indifference.

— No, — the healer resists, sensing the true state of the ninja’s soul. — Please help the old man and your friend. Then you can go wherever you want.

― Okay, — Bi Han exhales heavily, crossing his arms over his chest. By chance he meets Smoke's gaze, but, like him, he hastens to look away, breathing unevenly.

In complete silence, gaffer Chen smears the wound with herbal ointment with some pungent and disgusting smell. Tomas bites his lip, trying not to hiss from the unpleasant sensations, but nothing escapes the doctor’s attentive eyes.

— Take his hand.

— For what?! — Bi Han and Tomas ask at the same time.

— Take it, — the old man insists, looking steadily at Sub-Zero.

Hesitating a little, he still carries out the elder’s order, justifying himself by saying that without this, gaffer Chen would not have continued the procedure. His heart began to beat faster and his breathing became stifled. Perhaps there was nothing outstanding in this touch, but it naturally turned Bi Han’s head, causing his cheeks to fill with a crimson flame.

— Take it tight, — Chen demands. — Take my word for it, he doesn’t bite.

Heeding the doctor’s demand and obeying the desire of his heart, Bi Han clasps Tomas’s palm with both hands, looking shyly at the floor. His heart seemed ready to jump out of his chest from the feelings that overwhelmed him.

Satisfied with the current situation, the doctor began his work, wisely conjuring over Smoke’s injury. Everything was used: decoctions, ointments, powders, sayings and spells. There was little pleasant in this process. Everything stung, smelled bad and was very bitter.

However, Bi Han's touch eliminated any discomfort. His cold, rough hands were more pleasant than the most delicate silk or lily petals. Tomas's heart beat hard from this innocent gesture, his cheeks flushed red, and his whole body trembled with a surge of euphoria. He no longer paid any attention to the healer’s actions, because only one question was circling in his head: “Does Bi Han feel the same?”

He didn't have to wait long for an answer. When their gazes crossed again, Smoke clearly saw in those charming blue-black eyes the same awe that he himself experienced. This time they looked at each other for a long time, almost continuously admiring the charming reciprocity.

— It’s done, — concluded gaffer Chen, pleased with the absence of whining and sobbing during his work. — His training is over for today. Take him home and then you can go to the four winds.

— Can he walk?

— Yes, but you had better insure him anyway.

— Thank you, gaffer Chen, — Smoke says, bowing low to the doctor.

— I’m always happy to help, — the old man grins good-naturedly, handing him some bottles and hastily giving him instructions on how to use all these infusions and ointments.

Having said goodbye to the doctor, they went outside.

— Lean yourself up, — Bi Han ordered briefly, offering his shoulder.

Tomas obediently hung on him, feeling his heart beat wildly again, when Sub-Zero pulled him close to him by waist. The ride home was also silent. However, both of their thoughts were occupied only with that long gaze, full of reverent reciprocity.

Bi Han, as instructed, accompanied Tomas all the way to the house and, having received the silent approval of the owner, even went inside. Frozen in the hallway, both understood perfectly well that it was time to say goodbye... But for some reason I didn’t want to leave so desperately.

With his eyes fixed on the floor, Bi Han frantically searched for an excuse to stay, while Tomas, similarly looking at the wooden boards, could not find an excuse to detain him. A long minute passed in deep silence.

— Stay, — Smoke asked, timidly touching his hand.

— I’ll stay, — Sub-Zero responded confidently, looking into the depths of his happy gray eyes.

Postscript: I am not an English-speaking person and this is my first experience in writing a literary text in a foreign language. I apologize in advance for all my mistakes in this text and ask you to point them out in the comments or personal messages. Thanks a lot in advance to everyone!

Thanks to @bitomas-week for organizing the event and awesome themes.

[georgiapeach30513]

Closer to Heaven and Closer to You, Part 8

Summary:  Ransom finally makes it to a rodeo

Pairings:  Ransom Drysdale X Reader

Rating:  explicit

Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, smut, unprotected sex, PIV sex, breeding kink, voyeurism, exhibition kink, creampie, 18+ ONLY

Word Count:  6.1K

Previous

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics​

The second you walk into Harlan’s study your eyes glance around the tightly packed room before walking over to him.  He doesn’t hesitate to hold out his arm to you, giving you a knowing smile as you put on the blood pressure cuff, “He’s not here.  You can quit looking around.”

“I’m not quite sure I know what you mean,” you answer quickly, but he nods his head.  Giving you the time to read his blood pressure, before taking your seat opposite him, tossing you a bag of Go stones.  “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Why do you keep glancing in the mirror behind me?  Watching the door when I have already told you he is not here.”

“Who?”

“My grandson, Ransom.  He’s out of town doing research for me.  He’ll be back by the weekend,” he smiles as he stares at you, and simultaneously lays down his first stone.  “I think I’m going to beat you this time.”

“No, you won’t.  Your moves have become predictable.  Much like your incessant need to steer our conversations towards Ransom.”

“He’s a good man.  I know that you have noticed how he is vastly different from the rest of my family.  He wasn’t always like that.  Near death experiences will do that to a man.  Ahh!” His voice bellows.  He had actually taken you off guard, and blocks you.  “I’ve distracted you.”

“What do you mean near death experience?”

“You did it again,” you roll your eyes, looking up at him.  He was completely cornering you in the game and the conversation.  “Has Ransom’s past struck you that hard?  I thought you didn’t care.”

“He’s important to you, and that’s why I care.”

“Hmm, guess that’s why the two of you have started smiling at one another more.  Also why he had one of his little pouts when I made him leave for the week.”

“Stop,” finally, you’re able to catch him in his own game, blocking his own moves.  “I am the help, and he is…”

“Not an employer.  The help, bah.  You are a nurse.  A capable nurse that is administering my medicine, and you keep me occupied when no one else does.  Is this job boring to you?”

“How can it be boring when you demand I play Go whenever your partner in crime is not here,” looking up at him, you give him a cocky grin, holding out a hand for one of his pieces.  “Why is this conversation about Ransom?”

“Why were you looking in the mirror waiting for him to come up here?  If you two are nothing but friends, I think that’s fair considering you’re quite compatible.  But you’re more interested in why he almost died?” Giving him a head nod, you try and not be as curious as you are.  “The rich have their demons just as much as the next.  He was stupid and thought he was invincible.  Cocaine, alcohol, and driving do not mix.  But he’s alive to talk about it.  Got sober, and came to work for me.  Started doing more for the company than my son, but also helped me research when I couldn’t. I’ve stifled his own creativity.  Don’t think I haven’t noticed him writing himself.  He takes after me more than my own children.”

“He’s one of your favorite people, isn’t he?”

“What’s not to love about him?  He’s handsome, smart, passionate about his career and legacy, he’s a lot more compassionate and kind than the rest of his family.  Although they like to remind him of his major screw up.  So tell me about your past, Bunny?”

“I had a thing for cowboys in tight jeans,” you hated to think about the time that you wasted on Frank.  You had been warned about how he and the other riders were, but those tight jeans and blue eyes had you hooked.  “And cowboys are addicted to the roar of a crowd, the adrenaline rush, a gold belt buckle, and I’m pretty sure they get off on the pain.”

“So you were the nurse on the rodeo circuit, and you fell for a bull rider until you ran away to Boston?”

“That’s the abridged version, yes.  I always have this habit of trying to find a man that needs fixing.  This cowboy loved the rodeo more than me.  There was no compromise.  From either of us.  I wanted to take away his dream, and he wanted to take away mine.”

“Two people that love each other, but not enough to sacrifice what they loved the most,” Harlan sighs, looking at the board and how there were no moves for him to make without you winning, “I don’t like playing with you.”

“Do not pretend to have a seizure to erase the board.  Just admit that I won.”

“I’m feeling a bit faint.  Do you mind checking my temperature?” He was unbelievable.  If you didn’t respect Harlan as much as you did, you might be offended by the fact that he never wanted to admit defeat.  He would much rather change the subject to something else.

“So where is Ransom off to?”

“Oklahoma.  And he hates it.  Your tales of the west have inspired me.”

“Except I’m from Montana.”

“I was hoping to visit there.  Maybe have you as my tour guide.  Ransom can come as well, if you’d like.”

“You better stop before your blood pressure rises.  Quit trying to play another game when you can’t admit that I won Go.”

“What game do you suppose I’m playing?” He stands up, extending a hand down to you, “Come on, let’s go walking around the grounds.  Sometimes I just like to remember the place where my grandchildren would play.  My wife didn’t rear our children here.  Ransom was quite fond of this house,” there he went again, changing the subject to Ransom.  He was good at doing that, and you didn’t really mind at all.  It was sweet hearing about a child Ransom.

“Strong handshake,” your dad nods, giving you a wink before he drops Ransom’s hand.  “So your mother tells me you’re not going to be staying here?”

“No, I said, if you still had the rule about boyfriends sleeping in my room, that we would respect that, and we would stay somewhere else.”

“Ransom, huh?” Your father could be terrifying without even trying.  A tall man, with a deep voice, and his well fed stomach.  He still could hold his own with most ranchers, and his collection of shot guns was locked up in a cabinet and displayed as soon as you walked into the living room, but Ransom never showed any fear towards him like Frank did.  Ransom had nothing to fear.

“Yes, sir.  It’s a bit of a nod to my grandfather’s mystery novels.”

“My wife is quite fond of your grandfather’s books.  Has the entire collection, and some first editions.  You know, I like this one, sweetheart.  Your sisters aren’t children anymore and don’t live here, and the two of you live together in Boston,” his eyes roll so far in the back of his head, all you could see were the whites of his eyes.  “Is he what is keeping you there?”

“That and my job is there.  I love it there.  And where Harlan is it’s just as far out from the city as I would be here.  You would love it.”

“Not likely.  Fine.  I suppose he can sleep in your room.  I’ll have your mother send up a cot,” you shake your head, but giggle all the same.  “Okay, no funny business though.”

“Dad!”

“No funny business until you’re married.  The cow and milk deal, you know?”

“Dad, stop it,” Ransom still showed no fear, and even starts laughing along with your father.  His rotund belly jiggling as he laughs with Ransom.  “You two are going to be a nightmare, I know it.”

“Your boyfriend mentioned something about wanting to go to the rodeo.  You sure that’s a good idea?” He looks at you, his eyes narrowing.  It could only mean one thing, and that was the fact that Frank Adler was still riding bulls.

“Yeah, it’s a great idea.  Bunny talks very vaguely about her time on the circuit.  I just want to experience it.  Rodeo seems to be a big part of life around here.”

“And to some it really is their only life, huh?” You don't’ even answer, just hold onto Ransom’s arm even tighter.  “I suppose sometimes you have to move backwards to move forwards though.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.  The rodeo is no joke, and you definitely need to get better clothes, and by that, I mean not so fancy clothes.  Buns, get this man some boots.  Now you two go play, just don’t play too hard.  You know…I’m going back out.  Dinner is promptly at six.  Your sisters will be here, so don’t be late,” spinning on his heels, he heads towards the door, leaving Ransom to turn towards you.

His brows furrow as he tries to ask you what that conversation was all about, “I dated a bull rider, okay?”

“Oh, you had you a little cowboy,” he smiles, walking over to the couch where he settles back, propping his leg onto the coffee table, and a big smile spreads out on his face, “How come you never talked about this man?”

“I did just not in so many words.”

“How serious were you?”

“We lived in a camper, had a dog, and then had a house on his family land, and…we were engaged.”

“Oh,” there was disappointment in his voice.  He had never asked anyone to marry him, and had only talked about marriage with you.  So he said.  “What happened?”

“We both wanted different things.  I wanted to get married, have kids, and have him work on a ranch.  He wanted the rodeo.  He was manipulative with our relationship and the timeline that I wanted for it.  There were honestly a lot of things wrong with our relationship, and had I trusted my gut, and not ignored his many red flags, we wouldn’t have made it to that point.”

“What are my red flags?  And don’t lie and say that I don’t have any.  Everyone has red flags.”

“No, everyone has flaws.  Flaws aren’t always a red flag,” you walk over to the couch before sitting down beside him.  Leaning over on his shoulder as you pet on his arm.  “And your flaw is caring too much about what people think about you.”

“I just want people to know I mean well.”

“I know you mean well.  And you have definitely impressed me on so many different occasions.  Ran, there’s not been any red flags that I’ve had to ignore.  We all have a past, and I know you let yours haunt you sometimes, but I love who you are right now.  And without your past would you be the man that I love?”

“Your flaw is being right too often,” he leans over, letting his head rest on your own.  Lacing has fingers in yours.  “We don’t have to go to the rodeo.”

“You want to go.  And Frank means nothing to me anymore.  I can’t say what he or his friend will do, but Bucky will be there, and you’ll finally get to meet him.”

“Yes, I’ve been needing to talk to Bucky.  One on one without you.”

“Don’t steal him from me,” you loved that Ransom and Bucky got along.  He respected Bucky, and had been so immersed in asking questions about life in Montana with him.  It was like doing research on a new book.  Location, Montana.  You knew he had to be up to something, but you honestly didn’t care.  If and when you were meant to know, he would tell you.  Until then, you liked his whispers to Bucky on the phone.  “Maybe he can take you shopping for some boots.”

“Leave my shoes alone.”

“It’s awfully muddy at a rodeo.”

“And I am Ransom Drysdale.  I don’t have to change who I am to fit in somewhere.”

“Ran, hold his head up,” you tell him, trying not to panic, but your body was buzzing with fear.  You had never spent so much time on one person in your life.  Harlan had become one of your best friends, and here he was with a plummeting blood pressure and loss of consciousness.  “What did the operator say?”

“That they had an ambulance en route to the estate.  What do we do?” He looked like a puppy dog staring up at you.  He was almost immobilized and looking for you for some guidance.  “Bunny,” he says softly when your eyes go blank.  “You’ve got this, what do we do?”

You check his pulse quickly, and it was faint.  Ransom needs you, and so does Harlan.  “Let’s get him to the ground floor so the paramedics don’t have to climb up these narrow stairs.  He seems more stable now.  That’s a good thing,” with an agreeing nod, Ransom follows your lead as the two of you lift him up.  He was definitely carrying a heavier load as you work together to get them easier access.

“Why are you two fussing over me?”

“Go back to sleep, old man,” Ransom tries to make light of the subject.  “Unless you think you can walk.”

“No, he definitely can’t walk.”

“I definitely can walk.  Just put my feet on the ground.  I’m fine,” his words get softer with each sentence before his eyes close again.

“Bunny?” That pouting and worried look was getting to you.  Harlan was a client, and Ransom was his grandson, you couldn’t have feelings for either one of them.  “Buns, is he going to be okay?”

“Yes.  He’s got to.”

Ransom stares blankly at Harlan’s monitor, and then moves over to his IVs before leaning back on the couch.  Giving it a pat, “Come on.  No one else cares enough to even show up, but you don’t have to stand over him.”

“He doesn’t need all this.  He was dehydrated.  He didn’t fall, so why do they have him on such a high dose of pain meds.”

“Bunny, let them do their job, and you sit down and stop fretting.  Harlan is a stubborn old man, and he said himself that he wasn’t ready to die just yet.  They probably just want him to sleep,” his hand taps on the couch again, before you go over and sit down.  Eyes still scanning over Harlan, and as far away from Ransom as you could possibly get.  You didn’t need feelings for anyone.  You had a job to do.

“Why has none of his kids come to check on him?”

“He’s stable,” Ransom sighs, leaning back.  Neither of you had slept since being there, and he showed clear signs of exhaustion, and you were feeling the exhaustion.  “They only care if he’s dying.  It means they get the money.  Well, they think they’re getting the money.”

“I’m not even going to pretend to understand that way of thinking.  Harlan is more than the money he’s made.  Your family is crazy.  No offense.”

“I only will take offense if you think I’m like them,” turning to look at you, the two of your gazes linger for too long when you shake your head no.  “Good.”

“I think you take after Harlan.  Stubborn, self assured, but not arrogant, well dressed, smart, and knows what he wants.”

“So, what do you think that I want?” Your body starts reacting without your consent, and you find yourself leaning closer to Ransom.  Unable to look away from him any longer.  Noticing the slight freckling he has over his cheeks, and the moles that adorn his skin.  

“I think you want to make a difference and be remembered.”

“Close.  I want to be a good man like Harlan.  Leave my mark on the word.  Have a family, but learn from his mistakes with his kids.  I don’t want to shower them with money and give them everything they want.  I want them to have everything that they need, and work for what they want.  I want to be able to give them attention, and guide them to be good, kind people in the world.  Have my own book out there and be published under Blood Like Wine, but have it be different from Harlan’s brand of writing.  I want Harlan to be my dad, and I want to go back these past few minutes and not dump all of that on you.”

“I think it makes you more endearing.  You don’t always have to be so mysterious, and know all the answers.  And I think at this point Harlan is your dad.  He’s been more of a father to you than your own has been.  We don’t always get to choose our family, but you’ve got a good one with Harlan.”

“What about you?  Have you always wanted to uproot your life to Boston?  What is here that isn’t in Texas,” you nudge at his shoulder, managing to get closer to him yet again.  “What?”

“I’m not from Texas.  I’m from Montana.  We have big mountains.  I think I became a fan of Boston because of my weird obsession with the Salem witch trials.  Some of my favorite movies take place in Boston, and it’s just nice to get away from the place you had always lived.”

“But you want to go back?” That same pouting look appears on Ransom’s face, and you’re unsure what to make of it.  Completely missing how his hand had slid over on the couch and was mere inches from your thigh.

“Eventually.  I want to put down roots there.  Would want to raise a family there.  There’s all this space for kids to go outside and be kids.  It seems silly, but I have always wanted to be a mom.  Wanted to see these sweet little faces running around on a ranch.  Helping their dad, who is most definitely not into the rodeo.  But simplicity.  But I still want to take them all over the states.  Let them see all fifty of them, and move on to visiting other countries.  Hope that they have that wanderlust, and need for adventure.  Just not live in a camper.”

“They make pretty big campers.”

“I don’t want to live in one.  Travel in one is fine,” leaning back a bit more, your eyes look up at the ceiling, and Ransom follows suit.  His head right beside yours.  “I swear there’s more stars in Montana.  The air is just so clear.  You can breathe better there.”

“Sounds like a good place for the old man to live out his days.”

“He’s not that old,” you giggle, your head leaning over, and hovering over his shoulder.  Sleep was starting to take you both the more comfortable you got.  “But it is a great place for inspiration.  The mountains look painted, and so fake.  It’s incredible the places that are in this world.”

“I’d like to go there one day.  Only if you were my tour guide.”

“I could that,” you whisper, laying your head completely on his shoulder as sleep starts to overtake your body.  Eyes completely close when his own head leans over on yours, and he whispers something incoherent as Harlan’s eyes peek open.  Giving the two of you a smile.

“I knew it,” he whispers, staring at the two of you.  “The best love stories happen when you’re not looking.”

Frank stretches out his body as he steps out of the camper.  Squinting into the sun before tapping his leg for Clyde to follow him.  Boots and hats on and ready for another day at his favorite place.  Clyde had become a mascot at the circuit.  Such a well behaved and mannered dog, and would sit on the sidelines waiting for him to be finished with his ride.  

Frank was now equipped with a biggest belt buckle, and the world championship title, but still he felt like he was missing something in his life.  The appeal of the crowd wasn’t as great as he remembered it, but he was in his prime.  Achieved the greatest honor, and he didn’t know where to go from there.

“And there he is.  The best bull rider in the world.  How does it feel?”

“Like I slept in a camper alone.”

“You had me, and ole Clyde.  Not sure where Bucky was.”

“He was securing his job, or whatever.  Last season.  Bucky is going to officially retire, which makes me wonder what it is he is going to do with his life.  Going to be a farmhand for some rich man who doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing.”

“Yep,” Bucky leans over, petting Clyde.  “That’s exactly what I’m doing.  Why are you jealous?” Frank rolls his eyes, shaking his head.  “Uh huh.  You don’t seem jealous at all.  I get to work on a beautiful ranch, and basically am the boss.  Even got my own house.  Bought and paid for.  Got to pick out the livestock, and I’m the one in control, but it’s not my money.”

“You’re working for the owner of that ridiculous house, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.  So tell me, Frank, you have accomplished your wildest dreams, what is there left to do?”

“For him to quit pining over a woman that left him.  To officially move on and smell the roses.  If she wanted to come back she would.  She’s long gone, Franklin.  Tell him, Buck, let our champion know that Bunny is forever out of his life.”

“Shut the fuck up.  Watch the dog,” Frank storms off, leaving Steve to turn towards Bucky.

“Was it something I said?”

“You are right about one thing, Bunny is out of his life, but that doesn’t mean she’s never coming back.”

“What do you know?”

“She’s going to be here today.  Reluctantly.”

“No shit?  Is she alone?” Bucky shakes his head no, adjusting his hat.  “She’s bringing some loser here, isn’t she?  She wants to rub it in Frank’s face that she’s no longer alone, and has someone that isn’t in the rodeo.”

“You know, not everything is about Frank, right?  Bunny moved, and got over him.  Her being here has nothing to do with him.  Nothing.”

Ransom thrusts deep into your core, and you turn around to look at him with a dopey smile.  You loved him when he was extra needy.  Couldn’t even wait until after the rodeo before he just had to have you.  Feral in his need to feel you throbbing around him.  He always got extra deep when he was like this.  

“Ran,” you try not to scream, you weren’t far from the crowd, and your fingers dig into the tree.  Trying to brace yourself.  “Ran, I want you to fuck a baby in me.  I want you inside of me.  Feeling you grow in my belly,” you whine.  He looks up from where the two of you connect, and at your blissed out face.  Picking up his speed, and gripping your hips even tighter.

“Good.  I’m going to keep fucking you until it sticks.  You want me swelling in your belly?”

“Yeah.  Yeah!” It was a bit too loud, but you were right at the precipice of complete euphoria.  You didn’t even want this to end even if you knew that you should.  You could hear more and more cars pulling up in the distance, but you couldn’t stop now.  “Ran, I need you.  You’re so fucking deep.  So deep.  Ran!  Ransom!”

Frank smirks as he zips up his pants.  He hated using the portable bathrooms.  Being out here to relieve himself wasn’t any different than any of the other riders, but he had caught some couple that couldn’t wait to get a room.  At least someone was getting lucky, he thinks to himself.  And whoever the girl was sounded like a needy little slut.

“My god, you’re coming on my cock.  Squeezing me so tight.  You want my cum in there?  Walk out to this rodeo and you’re filled with my seed?”

“Yes!  Yes!  Show me who I belong to!” Damn, she was something else.

You arch your back, letting Ransom get even deeper, and his fingers start making tight circles on your clit.  He wanted you to come again before he filled you up.  “Such a fucking needy bitch in heat, huh?  Your pussy is so swollen, and ready for me to breed you!”

“Yes!  Yes!  Ransom…Ran, I’m…I’m…”

“Ugh!  Bunny!”  Wait a minute.  “Buns, I’m coming.  I’m…coming.  Oh!” His spunk paints the inside of your womb, and you moan at the feeling of him still so deep inside of you.  Hated that he had to leave you so soon.  And he pulls your panties, and pants up your legs, tapping at your covered mound.  “How does that feel?”

“Mmm,” you turn around to look up at him, pulling his fingers up to your mouth to suck them clean.  “We could just go home?”

“No.  We came to a rodeo, so we’re going to watch it,” Frank doesn’t even get a glimpse of you, but he knows that voice.  Turning back the way he came, he stomps off.  If you wanted to be a desperate little whore, you could be.  But he was going to show you exactly what you gave up.  “You know I’ll keep fucking you, until it sticks, right?”

“You act like I really care,” you hate to see him cover that pretty little cock up.  You’d have some quiet, and less rampant fun later.  It was kind of hot riding him in your childhood bedroom as the two of you whisper out your soft whimpers, trying not to wake anyone else in the house.  “Come on, let’s get our seats.”

“What is your problem?” Steve asks, looking at Frank who was pacing on the side of the ring.  It was getting close to starting time, and between Clyde who was staring and barking over towards the crowd, and now Frank was the one that was acting anxious, Steve had enough.  “Frank?”

“Nothing.  Clyde!  Bud, you got to quit,” he looks up at Frank whining, and looks back over to the crowd, and now Frank knows why.  There you were climbing the bleachers with that fucking pretty boy from the co-op.  So it was Boston that you had gone to.  Finally made it to your dream city, and you bring back a city slicker.

“His clothes look like they cost more than my truck.”

“Who?” Frank points over to the crowd, and towards the two of you.  You were ridiculous.  Sitting way too close to this man, and a hand rubs over his thigh.  The two of you giving each other kisses and smiling at each other.  “Oh, shit!  Oh!  Bunny is with that douche bag?  Oh this is the greatest thing ever.  I mean.  Sorry, but she goes from you to that?  That man doesn’t even look like he has a hair on his body.  Minus what’s on top of his head.  Every hair in place.  Bet his body is as smooth as a baby's.  What was Bunny’s grooming technique?”

“Shut up.”

“I’m just trying to figure out if he or she has more body hair.  I mean seriously.  This is hilarious.  I mean, I knew she was going to be here, but the fact that she is with him.  Oh shit!” Frank, turns and glares at Steve as he puts on his gloves.  “That man was getting road head from Bunny.  She is a bit of a slut for her man, huh?  I mean, you would know.  How is her head game?”

“Steve!  Shut!  Up!”

“Oh, come on.  Bunny is a one dick kinda gal.  You, well…when things got tough, you liked a bit of that fire pussy, didn’t you?  Hey, did the carpet match the drapes?  Or was it one of those hard pounding fucking, where you have her face down into the mattress gasping for breath, and you don’t care about anything but your own pleasure.  That’s what it was, huh?  You didn’t even know her name.  Of course that’s what it was.”

“Why are you still talking?” Frank taps on his leg, but Clyde was completely ignoring him.  Whining as he looks over at you.  “Even my dog won’t shut up about her.”

“Well, she was pretty much the best thing that had ever happened to you, and him,” Frank hated it here.  This was supposed to be his safe space, but it was anything but pleasant right now.  This was misery.  “Bunny got her a Boston man.  A man with a lot of money.  Oop!  Is she coming back to Montana and living in that giant house?  Oh.  My.  God!  This is great.  Bucky’s new employer knows nothing about a ranch, and judging by the way that pretty boy looks, neither does he.  Bunny’s new man is Bucky’s employer.  Ahh, this is great.  She’s got her a rich rich man.  I mean, we don’t know, but…I’m going with the fact that he bought that mansion for Bunny.  Bucky is working for him.  That barn is bigger than your house, pal.  Ahh…Bunny.  You should have married that woman.”

“If you recall, I tried.  Clyde…go,” yipping at the command, the dog runs over to the bleachers where you were.  It looked as if he was smiling as he sprints over to you.  “My dog loves her more than me.”

“Her dog.  You bought him for her.  You know, to soften her up, and make her stay with you longer.  Frank, you can make excuses all you want, you were married to the rodeo, and not ready for a divorce to be with her.  Man, just let her go already.  She’s moved on.  And got her a real nice sugar daddy.”

“Yeah, and lets him fuck her outside the rodeo where anyone could see or hear them.”

“She let you fuck her in a camper, while me and Bucky were asleep a few feet away.  Come on, Frankie, her leaving is your fault,” Frank swears he hears you squeal as Clyde jumps up on the bleachers beside you.  Smiling as you pet along his fur, and even that pretty boy gets a pet or two in.  “Go on, you’re up, buddy.”

Frank had everything in the world he wanted, so why was he still miserable?  He jumps onto the back of the bull, roping his hand onto it when you look his way.  Flicking your head over to Ransom as he puts his hand up in the air, “Okay, boys.  Okay!”

That complete fear still sat in your chest as you watch his body flail around.  Holding on tight to Ransom’s thigh, while the other hand nervously pets over Clyde’s fur.  Jumping up when he’s thrown off the bull, and stomped on a few times before the clowns ever get to his side.  “Oh, my god!”

“Bunny?” Ransom calls as you stand, grabbing onto his hand, and you walk off the bleachers.  “What’s going on?”

“He’s hurt,” you could hear his groans, and you weren’t sure if it was from the fact that he wouldn’t be getting points since he had only rode for four seconds, or if he was in complete pain.  “Frank!” You hold tighter to Ransom, pulling him closer to you, and you follow Clyde as he leads you to Frank’s side.  You shouldn’t have come.  You knew that Frank was going to be here.  But you also didn’t want Ransom to feel like there were any more feelings left for Frank.  There wasn’t, you just didn’t want him hurt.

“Bunny!” Frank groans as he’s lifted on a gurney to be checked out.

“Bunny?” This was the former fiancé.  Ransom should have known that there was a possibility that he would eventually run into him.  Especially at the rodeo.

“I’m okay, Buns.  Just a bit banged up,” this was also the asshole from the co-op.  The one who had his false nice demeanor, but Ransom had caught this man looking down at him.  “Oh,” Frank says, annoyed looking at Ransom.  You brought him over to see Frank.  “You want to check me out for old time’s sake?”

“No, I don’t.  I just wanted to make sure you were alive.  Looks like some bruising,” the bruising was more than just on the surface.  He was glowering at Ransom like he was second best to Frank.  The pure look of disdain that he had for your boyfriend was infuriating.  He could only wish to be half the man that Ransom was.  That bruising went straight to his ego.  “I think you’ll be just fine.”

“Bunny, don’t go.”

“No, we’re going to go on home.  Clyde, stay with your daddy, buddy,” he looks between you and Frank, whining.  The poor puppy was so confused.  Frank needed him, but he wanted to spend more time with you.  “Clyde, daddy needs you,” he wasn’t happy as he trots over to Frank’s side.

“The rodeo’s not over.  Buns, stay,” you didn’t care.  You wanted Ransom away from Frank.  He was just toxic in your life.  “Bunny, Bucky hasn’t rode.”

“Buns, baby,” Frank hated this man.  Hated the way that he talked to you, or the way he was constantly touching you, and using the nickname that he gave you.  He hated him being in Frank’s element, and with his girl.  He was the reason that Frank was distracted.  He was the reason that Frank was bucked off, and now here he was trying to be the perfect boyfriend.  His thumb runs over your hand, caressing a small band on your ring finger, but he didn’t have a matching one.  Were you already married?  Frank just hated him.

“We should stay and watch Bucky.  I promised him I would stay until his ride,” promised him?  Ransom talked to Bucky.  Maybe Steve was right and the giant ugly mansion was in fact yours and this man’s.  Bucky was talking to the enemy.  Bucky knew where you had been all along.  Everything made sense now.  Bucky ignored any conversation that was about you, and wouldn’t add to it.  It was because he knew exactly where you were, and that you were fucking some new man.  Probably after the first meeting, just to piss Frank off.

“Fine.  Fine, we’ll stay.  We leave after Bucky’s ride.”

“You have a cute dog,” Ransom tells Frank, and he hates his fake niceness.  Frank hated Ransom, and Ransom just wanted to keep some form of peace.  “Come on, baby, we’ll go back to our seats.”

Frank watches you sit down, still too close to that man, and still too needy for him.  “I hate him,” he says to anyone that will listen.

“Oh, come on, he seemed nice.  At least she found her a good man.”

“No.  I’m going to play nice, and she’s going to realize that I have everything that she needs.”

“Yeah.  Except, you don’t have the money that man has.”

“I’ve got money.”

“You have rodeo money.  That man is old money.  Probably generations of richness.”

“Did you see her ring?” Steve shakes his head no.  He was too busy trying to figure out if there was going to be drama to notice anything about you.  “She better not be married.  And if she is, she didn’t even get a diamond, and he doesn’t wear a band.”

“You’re reading way too much into a ring she had on her finger.  It’s probably just a ring.  Go on, get bandaged up.  It’s almost my turn.  And Bucky is directly after me.  Looks like today might be my day.  I’m going to get laid by three women.  Have one riding my dick, one riding my face, and the other sucking my balls.  Ow,” Steve laughs, after Frank hits him.  “I’m only kidding.  The third is riding my abs.”

“Pussy is all you’re worried about, huh?”

“I ride bulls to get pussy, so yeah.  I told you not to try and fall in love.  Nobody listens to Steven though.  Now look at you, glaring at some man that’s never done anything to you, while you’re dreaming about the way that Bunny would ride you.  Other women can do that, Frank.  If you loved her you would have made the sacrifice to quit.  She found someone willing to make the sacrifice, bud.  Get over it.”

He wouldn’t.  He was going to get you back.  Now that he knows where to find you.  He was going to look more into this sold house.  Get to the bottom of what was going on there.  But he would win you back.  That man didn’t even look like he would fight for you.  But Frank would.  And Frank was determined to win.

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @sstan-hoe @softsatnin @missusbarnes-rogers @peaches1958 @seitmai @smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @patzammit @lavender-annd-lilac​ @sunshine-midnight-rain​

[foxes-that-run]

Do you think Conplicated Freak is Haylor

Hi, thanks for this ask, it has been ages since I wrote one of these as I've been busy and I enjoyed it.

I think so because of Little Freak and the themes and because the muse is with someone else. Kendall was around that time, but I don't think she fits as well. I really like it too.

Complicated Freak

When was it written, what was going on

It was written between 19 February and 7 May 2016:

Harry said Sweet Creature was the first song he wrote "for the album" and it was a few weeks after his birthday, he was pictured in the studio 19 February.

It is one of the songs listed on the white board behind Harry when his hair was still long. He posted to Instagram that he cut it 7 May 2016.

This post about April 29 and the 2016 timeline which fits this song.

When it leaked

It was in the large leak with Trouble, Already Home, Anna and Medicine during Coachella 20 April 2022.... We all agree Harry should be paid for his music and I would love an album of his unreleased music. This large leak had interesting timing. Taylor had written YLM in December, in 17 April Harry played Boyfriends "To BFs everywhere F U", 19 April (2 years before TTPD) Drake randomly tweeted support to Taylor and then several Harry-Haylor songs leaked on 20 April.

Lyrics

[Verse 1] She got wrapped up in somebody else I'm wrapped up, stuck in love with myself I never saw this coming around But I miss her skin on me now

This verse reminds me of these photos. The first photo of the left was taken and extremely widely publicised 16 March 2016. He left LA and looked miserable in London that week, he got a parking ticket too. I would guess the song is written after he and Taylor both returned to LA 25 March, he was near the studio on 20 April, (after Coachella) and in a mood.

Harry had been tweeting, writing Sweet Creature and sounding very interested in Taylor x, x, x and x. (The second photo is 4 July 2015)

[Verse 2] Tip of my tongue she's pulling my hair I do what she wants anywhere Back seat of the car and up in the air But I miss how she kissed everywhere

This verse Harry is thinking back to when he was with the muse. The references to (hella good) hair, cars and planes are Haylor themes.

There was something in these early HS1 songs I tell you. Without You, is an earlier song, possibly from 2015, but has a really similar reference "Now you’re with him i must admit I’m missing / The part of your skin / You always liked me kissing"

[Chorus] I can't get you off my mi-i-ind I can't get you off my mi-nd I still crave it, complicated freak I still crave it, complicated freak I still crave it, complicated freak

Can't get you off my mind:

Harry has this exact line in Late Night Talking "Now you're in my life / I can't get you off my mind"

Adore you "Lately you've been on my mind"

Where do Broken Hearts Go "Mind is running in circles of you and me"

More on minds

Crave it - Harry and Taylor have linked their relationship to a drug, or addiction as a theme.

Also the title is like Little Freak and Pop Tarts "You're a dirty little monster"

[Verse 3] Turned up too late one too many times Bad choice of words in my alibi I guess I love crazy, out of your mind You lost your head, so I'll give you mine

I love the playful end to this verse. It's a nice furthering of the story from Pop Tarts "Walked you home but you said "Bonne nuit" / Should have known you don't give head out for free"

Crazy is a Haylor theme

[queenendless]

Sleepy Giggles (Ler!Shiro x Lee! Gender Neutral Reader)

A/N: SFW CONTENT. I'm in a VLD mood. When it was simple and everyone didn't hate how it all went to bad. And moi needs comfort. This all happens around S1 and 2 and I'm rewatching it again. First time doing fics here so I hope you enjoy.

It had gotten late.

Washing your hair and taking a pre-sleep snack before hitting the hay was your routine. Unfortunately for you, you had a very realistic nightmare that startled you awake in a cold sweat.

Next thing you know, you end up taking a walk to clear your intrusive thoughts. It takes you to the communal room, curling up against the couch, lost in thought when a comforting warm rumble struck right through you.

"Y/n?" You look over your shoulder to see Shiro in just a gray tank top and charcoal sweatpants. "What's the matter?"

You look away, rubbing your sore eyes with your forearm. "Can't sleep."

You felt a dip next to you before you felt goosebumps from his prosthetic cyborg arm brushing your bare arm. "Bad dream?"

You yawn deeply in your hand. "Yeah."

Shiro frowned, worry laced in his expression. "Wanna talk about it?"

While part of you wanted to keep it locked up inside, you also thought venting out would help lessen the weight of it on your conscience. "Being lost and alone in space. Zarkon taking the Black Lion. Killing you. Just … not so happy thoughts.” You hugged yourself; trembles of the dream still shaking you up, rubbing your arms from the sudden chill of the ill omens yet to pass.

“Hey.” His embrace enveloped you in fuzzy warm sensations, wiping the discomfort away. “While talking about these kinds of things is better than holding them in, you shouldn’t linger on these intrusive thoughts so much. You're not alone anymore, Y/n. You have us now. And together, we'll work to help free the universe from Zarkon's tyranny. It won't be easy. It'll be quite a long journey. And our lives will be put to helping those in need for it's the Paladin way, even with the risks that come with it. But I wouldn't change it for anything. It led me to you, after all."

You snuggled up against him, pressing your face against the side of his neck, kissing his warm skin. “Well, being with you now makes me feel better already.”

"Oh really?" The mischievous tone his voice took made your nerves go all jittery when you felt his bare hand squeezing your side. Your surprised squeak got you quite alert. “How about now?”

“Yehehes.” Your soft giggles brought a smile to Shiro's face. Now, that's another reason to keep fighting the good fight with the Voltron Force. To protect the smiles and laughter of those they care for. Including his very own space angel.

“Even … this?” He blew a raspberry in the crook of your neck, sending your body spasming as your giggles became squeaks. You slapped your hand over your mouth, afraid of waking the others, earning a chuckle from him.

“Mmm-hmm~!” Talking through bubbly laughter was difficult for you, but Shiro understood.

Your hands grabbed his, strength draining quickly from all the activity, as prying them off became tiresome. His hands slyly went underneath your top to rub his thumbs near your hips, buzzing his open-mouthed kisses all over your neck in unison, sending you into a quiet laughing mess.

"Well, they do say laughter is the best medicine." Even as his weighing stature gently pushed you to lay back down, pinning your body beneath his, digging his digits against your ribs, you were overwhelmed with giddiness. "Helps that hearing yours is too addictive for me to ignore."

"Shiro, I give, I gihihihive~!" Your weezy plea got him to stop, only for him to hoist you both back up, wrapping your legs around his firm waistline. "Thanks Shiro." His big smooch against your cheek brought another giggle out.

"Thank you for being here, with us, me and … yeah." He blushed, bashfully smiling as you smooched his cheek in return to your inner delight. "Now come on, you. Let's get you back to bed."

"M'kay." You mumbled, dozing off against his shoulder, as he carried you with ease to your room.

But even as he settled you back down, pulled the blankets over you, and started turning away to leave, you weren't ready to part from him yet.

You latched onto his robotic hand. "Stay. Please." Your quiet whimpers sent a tremor throughout his essence. He couldn't say no to you when you're giving him that puppy eyed, pouting face.

He rolled his eyes, smirking. "Move over."

You did, already curling against his figure as you two made do with your small bed. His arms wrapped around your waist, his legs weaving between yours, his face nestled in your hair as you nestled against his pecs, hearing his heart beating, sighing in content as he gave you a gentle squeeze, kissing the top of your head.

"I love you, Y/n."

"I love you too, Shiro."

With Shiro's form fitting perfectly right against your own, you were smothered with comfy dreams.

Dreams of the found family you're proud to be a part of and their compassionate caring leader that wanted you by his side as you two rode out this journey to the very end.

You and your black Paladin.

A good dream turned into reality.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

Right off the bat, this is a self-reported survey, so when stigma goes down, the willingness to admit you use a substance goes up. It's not necessarily more people using, just more people admitting it. Who's a daily coffee-user? Wow, look at all those hands. We don't care about that, do we? You get a headache when you don't get your caffeine? Well, you're addicted, congratulations. Get your ass to rehab, which'll take about three days in your case. Then you'll get right back on that sweet bean juice, won'tcha? Typical.

But we don't care about that. You won't lose touch with reality and have caffeine psychosis! Uh. Well... That's different.

*sigh* We've known this about psychedelics for a long time and the overemphasis is really frustrating. Any medicine that can help you can also hurt you, and we sell things OTC that can do permanent damage or kill you. If you have risk factors, generally speaking, we'll tell you not to take that stuff (unless we forget) and it's your responsibility to not chug ibuprofen with a stomach ulcer, or give aspirin to a child, or take even slightly too much acetaminophen, or drink the Panera lemonade, or whatever. If you're at risk of psychosis, generally speaking, psychedelics are not for you.

But if they're not for you, you've probably figured that out, and you're not taking them every damn day! I would be much less worried about psychosis in habitual users than new users.

I'm one of these "near daily" users, so I speak from experience when I say: If you're using pot every day and you want to get high YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. I have a tolerance, and I like that just fine, because I'm using it to sleep. (It's really annoying when I get near the bottom of the tincture bottle and I hafta get up and eat a bag of Cheetos after I already brushed my damn teeth, lemme tell ya.) I have chronic pain and a lot of health issues and sleep-related trauma, and THC and CBD is the only thing I've found that will get me 7ish hours of rest without leaving me oogy all day the next day. And I have to take regular breaks because it stops working otherwise! Cannabis itself tells me when to stop taking it and I listen!

I guarantee, if you're using every day, you're either very new to it and you will eventually taper off, or you have some kind of chronic (haha) issue that marijuana addresses. Some issues can be better addressed by removing the stressors from your life, or actually treating whatever else is going on, but if that's not an option at the moment, there are much worse ways to self-medicate. I would say alcohol is one of 'em, so good for you if you dropped beer and switched to pot!

This literal weed should've been legal a long time ago. Not at the level of codeine or ketamine, just legal, but that's not on the table. We're screaming and shitting about a reclassification that won't even stop the feds from putting brown people in prison. This would be a gift to medical researchers and pharmaceutical companies if it goes through, but I don't care as much about them. I'm saving the champagne for when we stop incarcerating regular folks for needing some help to exist on this shitty planet.

[pin-acolada]

CHAPTER FOUR (TQOHH)

Aemond Targaryen x Targaryen OC

Description: Her warmth and love caress his soul making him hum with bliss. Having her presence near makes all of the dark thoughts perish, as she was the flowers that grew in the darkest part of him. She is the keeper of his soul. Holder of his heart. Without her, he is nothing.

A/N: thank you for your patience. I have been feeling sick this whole week so it took time away from me to finish this chapter. Plus, I had so many idea on how this chapter was going to go, until I finally decided so again thank you for your patience. I might go back and revise some details because I feel it’s not my best. xo

The Queen of His Heart Series

Word count: 6592

italic - flashback

Winter collapsed into Spring, a season that symbolizes new beginnings that awaits to be strived. It is the time where the flowers are nourished and the sun above grants them the approval to blossom to present their beauty. The pure season was the Targaryen princess favorite out of the three seasons. The night wind begins to feel moist with the smell of turned loam and the early flowers. The moon pouring out its beauty for those to stop and admire, and allow the lick of the moons energy spur onto them beginning to feel light and safe.

She would spend most of her time out in the garden where she gets to capture the perfume of the flowers. She would sit under the looming tree that dance with the wind, and at times goosebumps will travel throughout her arm when it shyly looms over her; it made her soul smile.

The admiration she holds for such season was ethereal sight to admire from where the prince was standing. He loved how adorning she was for just being. The way the radiant grass surrounded he made her be unreal. She radiated colorful hues that it was too hard to look away, so drinking her appearance till he was full will satisfy his heart, but like always he can never get enough as she was so addicting that she became his drug.

The past four years, Aemond has watched Eudora transform into the greatest version of herself. He watched her behind the shadows – watched the care of her heart that she gives to those that needed a reminder that they were still people like her. He watched the smile she gifts to them and the help she grants without cost. He watched her leave her chambers at late hour to sneak into the Maestors hall to steal medicine, and then she would head down to town where she awaits by a door for someone to open.

There, he saw an older woman who would usher her in and would look out to make sure no one was around. There he found a roof that gave him window access to what the princess transpires, and he spied with his one good eye how she nursed a little boy to good health. There he watched the woman giving her a crying hug when she saw how her son was getting better. He watched how she will look take off her disguise and saw how unafraid she was to show who she was. He thought, at first, how daft she was to do that as she could've lost her life from there, but over time the more she went out and continue to uncover her identity made him see that everyone did not once snitch of the princess; instead, they protected her.

Aemond had pride in his heart knowing he was with someone with heart of gold. Aemond had pride in his heart knowing that someone with a heart of gold, also had a heart of a warrior.

Through the four years that'd past, he has watch her skills advanced. The way she dances with the sword, the way her eyes sharpen and her senses heighten showed how hard she trained in hiding. When Eudora was ten and four and Aemond ten and six, he once asked her "why do you train till the sun rise?"

"why do you train when the sun is full horizon?" she countered questioned.

"Because it is my duty of course. When the time comes where war knocks at our gates, it is my duty to fight for my house, my realm, my family."

"You have answered your questioned then" she said not giving any further explanation which Aemond found unreasonable seeing how the two shared everything together, except for this reason. Till this day, he still wonders and he still questions her and in return, she gives him another dead end. Though she does not offer her reason, she does offer him her wisdom.

The moon light greeted them when they enter the training yard. Aemond was behind her – observing the way her fingers touch each weaponry. He watched her picking one weapon, twirling it around and touch the edge where it was the sharpest, and put them back down. He watch her do that for every weapon, and when she was done she turned to look at him over her shoulder. She extends her hands out which he takes without hesitation.

When he was by her side, their hands never once let go as she spoke, "my father once told me that a sword is given to one who's bravery stoke the spirits. Its blade rivals crystal clear water, and like fire, calcines in each cut – because of its brightness, it appears crowned with pearl. By what I translated from him and what I have learn throughout my training is that a warrior must know the purposeful difference of each weapon. The shield is defense. The spear a battle trench. The sword is a guardian. The dagger is an ambush; knowing these ranking give you a good outlook what will help guide you what will beat your opponent.

But what every solider does not keep in mind is the bondage that must forge between them and their sword – with any other weapon in fact. A soldier and their sword is one, it is a sigil of unity and when you have acknowledge that you will become unstoppable."

"Why are you telling me this," he questioned her – eye still on her as he has never focus on the weapon she has not taken her eyes off, until she finally strip her eyes away and turn to him.

Violet meet Vermillion.

"I've seen you train with Ser Criston, and you train very hard. He rewards with words that you have potential, that you're getting better, and he's not wrong. You are becoming well with the sword, but his teaching lacks valuation. I observed you from behind – when you swing you swing with hate, not swiftness. Hatred has bared you in shackles my Aemond, it has blinded you from what is in front of you."

"Hatred is what got me becoming the best swordsmen Westeros has ever laid eyes on," he argued. She could see it in eyes again, the anger. But deep within she sees a boy whose afraid and needs a hand to hold. A boy who hides as he is to afraid to reopen what has been neglected.

"But it is also a form that will have you dead," she sniped. "What will happen when that anger consumes you Aemond, what then?" She pushed herself closer where now their chest touched, making Aemond breath to hitch feeling how close she was and to feel that familiar feeling of her warmth radiate off to him. "I tell you this for your own good because I care for you" she gently lay her hands on the side of his cheek making him lean down against them. "I am not trying to lower your self-esteem – that will never be my intention my love. This is my wisdom I gift to you: connect with the weaponry art you handle, mend with the past that brought the invasive vines. When you do that you will be unstoppable, you will see the truth." she promised.

She knew she can't change Aemond, no one can change the boy who is man becoming. What happened four years at Driftmark traumatized him, and it is what brought him to who he was now. Nevertheless, she will still stand by him and watch him transform on his own accord. That is the reason why Aemond can not help but love her. His Eudora, the keeper of his soul, holder of his heart – without her he will be lost.

Aemond, the one-eye prince has become a very quiet and angry child. Eudora, the realm jewel has become a wise and the anchor child of the family. They are two opposites that attract to each other.

Black and White.

Violet and Vermillion.

He snapped himself out of his thoughts, and focused back his attention on her. Aemond looked back down at the bouquet of Irises he held, making sure they were the ones she favored. Black Irises, her favorites.

This became a traditional exchange every time Eudora comes back from Dragonstone. She had spent a moon there having the joy of spending time with her family, whilst Aemond dreaded that whole entire month as he awaited for her to return. That was the longest she has gone away from Kings Landing, usually her travel is two weeks – no more longer than that.

When Aemond received news of her arrival, he put down everything that he was doing and ran toward the window where view the red keep, and from a distant he saw Jyrot's big figure concluding the prince that his princess had arrived and was sure she was making her way to the gardens, and he was right as he stood not far from where she laid.

As Aemond began to make his way his footsteps that pressed against the pebbles perk her ears up; her eyes abandoning the book that was laying across her lap. When she met eye contact with the one-eye prince, a smile immediately began to spread on her lips. "My Aemond."

My Aemond, oh how he treasure that name that glides from her tongue so smoothly. It made his heart hammer and when she brought herself close to now he felt her chest pressed against his own, he was afraid with how close she was she might've hear how his heart raced for her. She looked at the Irises that he held with both hands knowing it was a welcome gift for her, as she was finally home where she belonged. "My Eudora welcome home" was he said and smirked when he saw the blush blossoming her cheek. "I gift your favorite, black irises. I had made sure the gardeners to plant them from the direction of your chambers, so when you wake up on the morrow they will be the first sight you'll see from your window."

The princess was absolutely touched by Aemond's munificence, and gladly took the flower from his hand. "Aemond how considerate of you to do that; you know you didn't have to extend ways to do that for me," she said shyly as she took the flowers from his hands. "But like always, I thank you."

"For you... anything my love" he placed his hand on her cheek, and his thumb caress her soft features. "I have you missed you" he confessed, "a moon without you made the castle felt so empty, felt so dark without your light."  

"And I am now here" she reminded "do not fret my princeling as I assure you I will not abandon you. I can see from the bags under your eyes that you lack sleep. Oh my Aemond do you wish that I continue to remind you the importance of taking care of yourself" she tsked.

"I guess I need to be kept reminded," he smiled making Eudora roll her eyes at the boy, however, deep down Eudora does sometime grow concern for Aemond. Being by his side made her see how much he overworks himself, and she is always the one to remind him to take afternoon naps for his body to reset from the hours of training that consisted  of attentiveness and agility. Sometimes, she would wait outside his chambers when he was finished bathing and would get the queue that she was able to come inside. When she did, she would walk up to him and began to brush his hair while humming a lullaby. The two will then move to the bed where Aemond will have his head laid on her lap as she continue to comb her fingers through his hair to ease the tension that would flex. Oh how Aemond had miss her care that he had to depend on tea that the Maester brew to relax his body.

"Well then you can rest your head on my lap as we bath under the sun. I think this will calm your senses and blanket you to sleep. I read that the earth's perfume is quite grounding for the body.   I will comb through your hair while I tell you of my time spent in Dragonstone, I'm sure the topic of our nephews will drowse you to sleep" she joked making the prince to chuckle at that.

"Or we could head to my chambers where it just the two of us, or yours  either will work" he began to step closer having her to move back further, but stopped when her back was pressed against the bark. "I would rather us have the privacy in order for I to share how I've truly missed you. I want to feel your lips against mine again."

"Can you make your voice any louder my prince? I'm sure the ears of others will be delighted to hear your intentions and gossip" she hissed.

"And I'll let them" he challenged, "as it will be easier on my part to have all of Westeros know who holds your heart, and who holds mine."

Ah yes, another thing that began to blossom over the years, the secret relationship between Eudora and Aemond Targaryen. In a week, it will mark two years since they've been in a relationship and two moons till Eudora name day where Aemond would go up to his King father and Queen mother to ask for her hand. Of course over the time of them being intimate in the dark, never did Aemond take the girls virtue, but there wasn't a time where he did thought about it.

It started when Eudora was in the library alone, until Aegon made himself present making it now the both of them. What the two didn't know was that Aemond was also present as he was hiding behind the shelves where he saw how his brother tried to advance himself onto Eudora. The thought of another man, especially his brother, thinking that they had the privilege of placing their grimy hands against her delicate skin made him mad. Aemond over the years has grown quite cold since that time his nephews took his eye. But with the intense training and education, Aemond body and mind grew strong making him evaluate that he was the only one to be worthy of her, which is when he began to be possessive over Eudora.

When Eudora try talking to Aegon of keeping his distance and how inappropriate his intentions were, did Aemond came around the corner making his presence known. Aegon the eldest no longer had the upper hand as he grew quite intimidated of his little brother, especially the way Aemond towers Aegon height made him seem the eldest. When Aegon understood the message, did he left the library leaving only the two left.

Aemond checked to see if she was not in no ways harm, and kept asking her multiples questions that were left unanswered. He eventually stopped when he felt her hands rest against his cheek. The two looked at one another, and sense of calmness cascade through his body when he saw the peace into her eyes. "My Aemond" that name, oh how he loved the way she said. "Always my knight to rescue me from danger, how could I ever repay you?"

With a kiss, he thought or so he thought he did.

"With a kiss? I see... then I a kiss I grant you" and so she granted placing her plump lips against his own making him instinctively grasp her waist pulling her closer. Her hands that rested around his neck began to travel their way to underneath his hair, pulling it making him groan into the kiss.

Eudora was the one to pull away and she smirk when Aemond tried to press his lips onto hers again, but she jerked her head back preventing that to happen. Aemond eyes flutter open, his violet eyes meeting her vermillion ones. "Did that satisfy you my prince?"

"More than you know," he dipped his head making his nose brush hers. Eudora could see the questions beginning to pile in his head, and he wanted to ask her if she felt the same; she just waited for him to ask and where she can say yes.

Eudora has been having romantic feelings for her Aemond, ever since she was ten and two. Unlike Aemond, she knew how to bay her feelings for him, but there would be times where she will make it known in the most littlest ways; it astounded her though of how blind Aemond was as satirical that metaphorically sounds.

Aemond for her, was everything that she wanted.

Eudora for him, was everything he wanted.

When Aemond finally grew the guts to say the words, and hearing her being on the same page made his heart brighten with glee making it travel throughout his body. Eudora smiled at the boy smile that he gifted her. "You don't understand the relief that is soaring from my heart, my love" he said out of breath. "I have waited since I was ten and three to tell you how I truly felt, and hearing that you too feel the same; that your heart yearns to connect with mine, it has me make sure that no lords take your hand."

"And no lord will take it because I belong too you, as you belong to me. Till death do we part my Aemond," she assured, caressing his missing eye that is hidden behind the patch.

"Till death do we part..." I'll make sure death does not take you away.

News of the princess arrival travel it's way to Aegon who was making his way to the kitchen to get another bottle of wine. However, he came to a stop when he heard his mother calling out for him. Alicent with Haleana behind made her way to her son, and base off the look on her face made him dread that he was still sober knowing what will lead from this conversation.

Without another word coming from the Queen, she took her sons arm pulling him to wherever she was going. He looked behind to his sister who hands was intertwined in front of her, her head bowing down as he could see she was in some sort of trance. He roll his eyes at the thought of marrying her, and his stomach turn knowing he was going to have too... consummate with her.

Aegon does not hate his sister, he just doesn't want to do anything with her. She was the odd siblings and he didn't want to have kids with her believing that his children might be like their mother, making it even more of a headache to hear another voice speaking mad nonsense.

Aegon was hoping to be married off to rather Eudora, the realms jewel. Ever since they were children Aegon did not hide his infatuation toward her, in fact at every chance that he had he will try to steal a kiss; he always wonder how they would feel against his own. They seem so soft and fluffy, that he swore he may moan. Aside of that, Eudora is a woman that has ever man to be transfixed. It is a rarity to find beauty of someone inside and out, and seeing the care she gives to others, and surprisingly sometimes Aegon – made him want her even more.

He would find servant maids that had dark hair, and would blindfold them to help his delusional mind to think it was her he was fucking, and will easily moan out her name through his lips. The servants of course did not know how to close their mouths, as the gossip began to travel all the way to the Queens ear.

When Alicent figured out her sons transgression she never felt such vicarious embarrassment. She didn't hesitate to smack harder sense into Aegon. She seethe at her son repugnancy and began to make it known that if his father heard of this atrociousness, he would have his head irregardless if he was his son. He would strip him of his title giving it the more reason the council to not take Aegon seriously. Especially, if word went to Dragonstone of her son lascivious Alicent would be afraid that the rogue prince will not hesitate to take his head, and even more afraid that her dear husband wouldn't do nothing about it.

From there on, Alicent made it known that Aegon was no son of hers, but just a pawn that has she saved on the chess board where to can finally yell out 'check mate'.

As Alicent and her children enter her chambers, the two sat themselves down but sure they were at a distance. Alicent who was still standing looked at her children facial expression that read misery. She paused for a moment to gather herself, and eventually let out a breath to announce what she was going say, "I have you two here today because we need to plan your ceremony that will be taking place in three weeks. Since the announcing the two of you being betrothed, I and your grandsire could see that either never made the effort to spend quality time as a... couple. For the sake of reassuring the council, you two must present yourself as a strong couple who will one day rule the seven kingdom."

"I thought the quality time spent as children was enough bonding," Aegon said.

"Aegon please..." stress began to consume the Queen and the beginning of a headache. "Heedless of your credence, you and Haleana are to marry to strengthen claim to the Iron Throne."

"Then why not wed me to Eudora, she is of Targaryen blood what's the difference within that?" Aegon thought this to be sense. If he were to marry Eudora his claim will be strengthen due to their family be in the highest position of power, with Aegon and Eudora heirs also being full-blooded Targaryens making them legitimate. "Not only that, but she is the daughter of Maegor The Mighty making him known to be the most admirable of our family history. Me being married to Eudora will evidence that our future children will take those traits making us even more powerful and over trump Rhaenyra bastards children. None other than that, everyone is practically in love with her because she hold the perfect trait as Queen; think about it mother–" Aegon stands up as he made his way to his mother who eyes never waver from her son. He took both of her hands, gripping them to signal his emphasis. "Eudora and I will be pictured the perfect sovereigns. Marry me to Eudora and I will complain no longer. Marry me to her and I will change, please."

Before she was able to speak her thoughts, a voice interrupts ruining Aegon chance "I applaud of your ambition grandson, but that will not be allowed unfortunately," coming out from the shadows was the Hand, his grandsire and behind him was his brother who walked behind him.

"I'm glad that my grandson over here–" Otto paused as he turn to Aemond who kept staring at Aegon who was fuming from within. "–who spoke of this meeting that I was not inform about" he then looked at his Queen daughter who had her head bow, not wanting to meet the eyes of her father.

"I was just reminding them of the wedding that's not to far father."

"Yet by the look in your eyes I could see you were considering your eldest sons ideation. Nevertheless, the answer is no. Eudora is off limits according to the King, I apologize my grandchild but your father will deny your proposal – in fact he will not allow it. Trust me when I say that I have consider the notion to the King, but he has no intention of her being married as of now. According to his words, he would rather prefer her choose someone than being forced; similar to what he had done for Rhaenyra."

"Then I have time to sway her to like me, and if I can do that she will want to marry me. Her words hold power over the King, he will not deny her if he sees the love in her eyes" Aegon prevail. "Her name-day is what? two moons from now? That gives me enough time–"

"She will not even look your way brother" Aemond butted in. "and if you knew her well enough, you would've known that she has no intention in marrying at all as she has dreams to travel. So I am apologize to break it to you, but taking the princess hand is a lost cause."

"Then I will change her mind," Aemond eye began to twitch as he could see how sedulous his brother is becoming. Aemond wanted to laugh at his brother thinking he had a chance of scooping Eudora into his arms, when already she was in his and he has no intention of loosing his grasp. "And if her heart does not beat for me then I will just... bed her" and that is where he overstep the line.

"You dare!" Aemond spoke, but was cut off by his mother who grabbed the collar of Aegon shirt making him come eye-to-eye at the fire spitting off.

"Do you truly want to be put on your death bed Aegon? I'm being serious – are you out of your goddamn mind, dear sevens you will be dead once the guards will hear her screams. Viserys alongside Rhaenyra will burn you alive by the time you even have the chance to flee! In result, you as my son will have us ruined!" Alicent pushed him off of her as she wiped her hand harshly on her dress. "And I for one will not have you even touch Eudora, that girl has done nothing wrong but care for not only your brothers, but Haleana as well." Alicent couldn't believe the person in front of her was her son, and it made her think what she did wrong that made him turn out this way. "You will marry Haleana end of discussion." With that the Queen along with the Hand left the room as they had further themes to discuss.

Now it was the only the three Hightower-Targaryens left in their mothers room, none moving. Haleana began to pick at her skin causing her to bleed, eyes closing as she tried to soothe the voices that were beginning to grow louder and louder. Unfortunately, none of her brother noticed as they still stared at one another.

Aemond took a couple steps forward, now closer face-to-face toward his brother. "You will steer clear of Eudora, and if I hear that you place a single hand on her eyes regardless if it was friendly... I will take you by the neck and have you be Vhagar's meal."

"You wouldn't do that" Aegon cackled "or else you will be known not as the one-eye prince, but Aemond the Kinslayer; would you corrupt your image to that little brother?"

Aemond hummed processing the name, has a nice tune to it. "For her I will wear the name proudly – with honor" Aegon look into the depth of eye to see he was bluffing, he saw none. Usually Aegon would back away, but the anger rising inside him did not falter.

"You think you have a chance with Eudora brother" Aegon questioned with amusement. "You think the realm jewel will ever consider you? The second son, fourth child of King Viserys? Eudora is a gem and you... you are crippled." he laughed. "No amount of training will ever hide that because that right there" he pointed at the patch "is a reminder that you are nothing but worthy of her. You really think the kindness of her heat is genuine, are you sure it's not pity that she has for you? Like mother?" Before Aegon could further deepen the knife, Aemond grabbed him by the neck.

"You know know nothing of her heart" he seethed. "And you will never know because you as well brother are not worthy to have her, and to think you had the window of opportunity because you're the first son is satirical. You are a drunkard, disappointing prince and that is what you will always be."

Aemond marched his way to Eudora's chamber where he knew she was taking her afternoon nap or reading the book of herbal medicine she stole from the Maesters. When he turned the corner he saw Eudora's knight guarding the door, Ser Arron Petrovy. When the knight saw the one-eye prince and the urgency into his walk he didn't question him nor stop him from entering into her chambers unannounced.

Eudora pull herself away from the book, standing Aemond correct of his assumption. Eudora looked over his body language and immediately know that something, or rather someone had bothered to the core that he was irregular breathing.

She placed her book down by the table next to her, and made her way to the one-eye prince who's hands come to rest on her elbows pulling her in close where he could feel her breast plush against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she felt the tightness around them as if he was afraid she will be taken any moment. Aemond pressed his forehead against her own, cuddling further into her where he nose brush against her once again. Eudora hand began to stroke his cheek lovingly and traveled up to the cut. "What has you tense my love" she spoke.

"Just my brother" was all he said, not explaining further which she decided not to pry him out of which he felt grateful for. "I just needed to come here, I just... had to make sure you were here."

"We were literally laying in the garden for the past two hours my love" she chuckled. "And it's been barely an hour since we parted ways."

"I just need your warmth against my own once again" he said. "your lack of presence for the past moon was very much missed that I think I might sleep in your chambers once again."

"If that what you want then be my guess, I will not complain" she pulled their heads apart where she can meet his eye. "Besides, I think I will like to have you with me tonight. The past nights I haven been having... questionable dreams that I wake up every night confused."

"Your dreams has come back again? Why didn't you tell me or write to me?" He questioned.

"Well I didn't want to bother you, plus mother was there to aid me and she given me a tea that helped–"

"I would've flown out with Vhagar and take you back home if you were struggling; don't you remember what happened last time, you went through a seizure Eudora I thought... I thought I was going to loose you" he said perturbed. Eudora grew guilty as she began to see the worry in Aemond. He felt she didn't understand how much she meant to him, and he felt that him not being acknowledge about the issue made him assume that maybe she no longer needed him anymore. That maybe Aegon was right.

The anxiety begun to overcome him making the intrusive thoughts to invade him. Aegon voice was heard, then his bastard nephews and his father who did not want to spend dime with him. His mother voice calling out the maids to take Aemond as he could hear how she didn't want to be bothered by him. It was too much for him to handle that his legs began to give up on him making him fall on his knees.

Aemond for years felt like he was not needed. He was never needed by father nor his mother – not even his own sister. He felt he wasn't seen, he felt like a burden to everyone. He was only the second son, the fourth child of Viserys – what is he even needed for?

"Am I no longer needed?" He whispered.

"W-What? Aemond where is this comin – of course you are needed." Eudora began to panic as she could see that he was having another episode of anxiety. "Aemond look at me, what happened? What had Aegon tell you that is making you be this way. Aemond please, my love I worry for you... let me in" she begged.

"No... No I am a burden to you – I don't need your pity" he snapped.

"Aemond you are never a burden to me and what I give to you is not pity, but love. Aemond don't turn away from me – look at me" she grabbed his head forcing his eye to meet hers. "I see you Aemond Targaryen, I see you."

"You see me..." he was entranced by her voice.

"Yes, I see you" she gentle smiled. "You are seen, you are loved, you are worthy Aemond."

"I am?" He questioned.

"Yes my sweet, you are. You don't have to tell me what Aegon told you, you don't. Whatever it was don't let it consume you. Remember what I told you when we were little? People who are blinded by their insecurities would press them onto you to satisfy their ego, don't let their words trump you over my love. Don't let it."

Eudora fingers ran through his hair to comfort him. Her hands then traveled to his eye patch where she paused for a moment to ask him if it was okay, and when he nodded she took off his eye patch revealing the scar. He waited to see if she was going to back away by the scar that held a sapphire in his eye socket, but she didn't. Instead he saw the love in her eyes that never wavered.

"There would be people that will come into your life Aemond that would ravish to see you at your downfall. It will bring them pleasure knowing they have you by the neck where you are weak, and I tell you right now, don't let them. You may think yourself small, but I don't. I see a strong man who holds a sword that he dances so well with. The way he moves and the way he presents himself shows me how powerful of a character he is, that nothing and no one could ever stoop over his level.  However, I also see a lost man who tries too hard. Throughout your life Aemond you have train harder than anyone I've known. I see you screaming at them telling them you are worthy. I see that you try to be seen by those who barely glance your way. My love, don't be desperate; don't waste your time on those who barely even take a time out of their life to return the favor. You will never find what you want if you continue walking on this endless path. You must recognize yourself and reflect. You must meet yourself and mend. You must accept the ugly and the beauty of you.

Once you do that Aemond, others validations are insignificant. Their words are not even worth than your own." She pressed her hand against his heart, "Your heart and soul are the strongest armor you could ever have, and your mind is your sword. Use them. Accept who you are, don't let others rule over you, you are not their slave; you are in control of who you are and who you want to be... do you understand."

"I understand," he whispered. "Thank you."

"Promise me not to hide yourself when you're in pain, it's unfair that we laughed together but you cry alone."

"I promise. You are a gift Eudora, a rarity in this time that I am fortunate to be living in." Aemond continues to believe he has been saved by the angel in front of him, but Eudora did not save him she just found him. He needed to be found and appreciated for exactly who he was, and she doesn't mind if she had to look for him again in the dark. After all, he was the love of her life and someone with that title she will make sure of that.

"I have a gift for you" she said. She stood up from the ground made her way to her satchel where she takes a pouch. She made her way back and sat back herself down where she holds the pouch to him. "Take it."

Aemond obeys and opens the pouch. On the palm of his hand laid a ruby crystal. " I don't mind if you continue to put on the sapphire, but you have two options to choose for whatever occasion. The ruby was given to me from my father who given it to my mother. I thought I lost it and I remember crying to my father about it because we no longer matched. This whole entire time the my father had it put away" she giggled. "I guess he forgot to give it back to me."

"Why gift me something that is so precious to you?" he questioned.

"Because I already have this" she told him as she held the ruby necklace that's wrapped around her neck. "thanks to uncle daemon, he given me my fathers ruby as a token that means so much because it wraps all of my father memories. This necklace alone is precious to me. This ruby was original gifted from our grandmother who given to my father. She told him that to give this ruby only to someone you care deeply, so he given it to my mother. But when my mother passed away, he knew there is no other person he could hand this necklace to other than me because I was his last love. Similiar to what grandmother told him, he told it to me: give it to someone you care deeply about, the person who you love the most. So I thought of you."

"You love me?"

"Yes Aemond, I do."

Aemond looked back down at the ruby and he swore he saw a glint of light speck out of it. Aemond took off the sapphire from the socket of his eye, and place into the pouch that the ruby was once in. Aemond looked back at Eudora who watched him with gentle eyes, he brought the ruby to her "can you do the honors" he asked. With gentle fingers, Eudora placed the ruby into the socket of his eye, "How do I look?"

"Handsome like you always do" she said. "Now we match."

"I love you too," Aemond said. "With all of my heart."

Aemond brought her close to him and captured her lips. She sat on his lap and her arms wrapped around his neck. Aemond brought herself closer and tighten his grasp around her. When the two broke apart, Aemond nuzzled his head into the pocket of her neck as he inhaled her scent bringing him to a peaceful state.

The sapphire gifted by his mother was no longer going to be put back on, Aemond decided that he will have it put in a place somewhere in his room. He had something better and more meaningful that was gifted to the one wrapped in his arm.

His Eudora.

NEXT: CHAPTER FIVE

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TQOHH taglist:

@jugheadisaweirdo​, @caspianobsessed,

@xcharlottemikaelsonx, @zgzgzh​,

@sawendel​, @mariaelizabeth21-blog1​

[plaindangan]

Celestia's huge cawk occasionally gets in the way of doing things. So she schedules monthly milking sessions with Mikan. However, Mikan completely forgot and had to attend a meeting. Seiko was subbing for her since she had basic medical knowledge.

This leaves Seiko with the task of milking Celestia who is not taking no for an answer.

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not view!

Seiko just wanted to help another in the field of medicine with a patient.

That’s all she wanted to do. When Mikan handed her the notes on Celeste and her, ah ‘issue’, Seiko figured it was a no-brainer. She had a few drugs made to help ensure smooth futa milking in terms of tempering aggression and even a machine for safe ‘milk’ extraction (which could be used for…more ‘erotic’ drug making).

When it came time for the appointment, and Celeste walked in, Seiko greeted her amicably.

“H-hello! I’m Seiko Kimura!! I’m filling in for Mikan today! Now, would you be so kind as to strip down so we can-OH LORD!!!” Before Seiko knew it, she found herself pinned to the patient’s bed, with a snarling, smirking, near feral Celeste on top of her. 

“Ohohohoho~ A new toy to use? For moi? Well, don’t mind if I do!” She says, ripping off Seiko’s mask and kissing her right on the lips.

“H-h-h-h-h-h-huuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh?!!!” babbled the flustered pharmacist. Long enough to realize that not only had Celeste removed her skirt, she was even pulling down her black panties too.

“W-w-w-wait, th-this…this isn’t the right protocol!!” To this Celeste giggled and patted the girl on her head. Such an innocent girl~

“I don’t think you truly understand what you got into, my dear. This is the procedure Mikan and I always use. Cold machines can’t replicate the feeling of dumping all my seed into a nice, tight, pussy no, can it?~” 

“I-I mean…” Seiko stammered only to be kissed into silenced again by Celeste. Enough so that Celeste’s foot long cock was teasing the goth pharmacist’s entrance for a good deal now. Causing Seiko to moan ever so longingly~

“Exactly. Why let some contraption have my warm, addictive, spunk…when it can all be yours?~ So…shall you do it? Shall you be mine?~” Celeste’s purrs kissing, and coaxing, all about her cheeks, her head, her lips, her neck - everywhere to get her to give in…

And ultimately?

“I-Is…is the door locked?”

Celeste had her way~

-

PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! PLAP!

“O-OOOOOOHH GODDDDD!! M-MISSSSTESSSS LUDENBEEERGGGGG!! PLEAAAAAAAASEE!! BREEED ME MOREEEEE!! MOREEE! MOREEEEEEEEEEEEE!! MAKE ME YOURSSSSSSSSSSSSHHH!!!”

“Aaaaah, don’t you just love the sound of a good bitch being broken in?~” Celeste chuckled. Currently, she was mating pressing Seiko, with the duo currently on the seventh round of Celeste dumping in more of her virile cream into the cock-addicted goth geek…

All while, Mikan, who had come back from her meeting early, could only watch a bit awkwardly. Her office now reeked of musk and cum…and it would be hours until Mikan could ever clean it up. She could ask Celeste to stop, but that’d probably guarantee she’d be bent over her desk and assfucked for daring to interrupt Celeste’s ‘royal bitch milking session’...

Actually, with Mikan’s lips curving upwards in a very lustful smile, she figured that might not be a bad idea after all~

[the-blackest-blue]

A TUMBLR PSA! GET NARCAN TRAINED AND CPR CERTIFIED! YOU CAN SAVE A LIFE!

Depending on the are you live, if you know theres a high amount of people who are addicted to substances. I can only ask you to carry narcan and get  CPR certified. YOU COULD BE THE HOPE OF SOMEONE NEAR DEATH.

If you do not know, NARCAN is a FDA approved medicine to bring someone out of OPIOID BASED DRUG OVERDOSE. This includes drugs such as OxyContin, fentanyl, methadone, and Vicodin, as well as street drugs like heroin. It does not work on anything else.

To get trained on its use and how you can help please visit

https://getnaloxonenow.org/#home

or Youtube.com

It could also be of great help to get CPR certified.  I did this this year. Its helpful to know the signs of overdoes and what is needed to perform CPR correctly. You never know what life will throw at you so its best to be prepared!

Find a training here

This is not sponsored or anything.

A few days ago i was waiting at a bus stop and a saw a man across the street who was walking and just feel down suddenly. No one reacted, so i went to go check... he couldn't breath and began turning blue, myself and another person gave him NARCAN and called 911. Thankfully he made it. And i Just want to share this story because maybe someone will be inspired to take make a move. We do have power to help others and to make change in the lives of others.

I spent years addicted to alcohol and drugs, trauma, mental health, discouragement and fear kept me in that dark place. But i think back to all the people who cared about me when i couldn't care for myself. It MATTERS!

Thanks for reading and have a great day.