#Actually I'll say it do far this game is great in everything other than sound design

[kakusu-shipping]

Rabbit game thoughts; World 2 long

[egophiliac]

As someone who hasn’t played the twst game very long I just got into it. I wanted to know about events? Like do some not come back? For example do the Masquerade, Port, Beanfest, Ghost bride, starsending events. Do those come back? I hear people say how they missed their chance to get this great card like as if it won’t ever come back and then someone on Reddit will say something like “Oh beanfest happened twice on the JP server” so which events have gotten reruns so far? I would ask about more recent ones like the Easter one but idk if it’s too recent to know if get rerun or if they clarify that it won’t come back? I was really sad to find out about the Silk outfits I missed out on when they visit the scalding sands. I also was really sad to find out i missed out on the anniversary cards because I didn’t play the game yet. I wish they would add the anniversary cards to the store at least…I want to be apart of the celebration :’)

I was looking in the shop and saw all the different groovy items you need to groovify event cards and this question just came to me so I had the urge to ask someone…

welcome to Twst! 🎉 it is a bit confusing to jump right into, especially because. they're not always consistent. :') it sounds like you're probably playing on Eng, which I'm less familiar with, but I'll try based on what I know! (I also don't always remember everything, so somebody please correct me if I get something wrong!)

first, I do recommend the Twst wiki.gg, which seems to stay pretty up-to-date on events for both the Eng and JP versions! it's a great resource for when you want to see if/when an event ran or rerun. in general, I believe that the Eng version only does reruns that have already happened in JP, so if JP has a rerun that hasn't happened yet in Eng, they should get it too eventually! on the other hand, I don't think either version has ever rerun an event more than once. :( BUT this doesn't mean you're entirely out of luck, because:

anniversary events (March for JP, January for Eng) will usually offer a chance to get both an older event SSR and an older birthday SSR in the shop, via buying a special item with exchange currency (which you get by doing pulls on the anniversary gacha, I think you need to do 100-150 pulls for enough currency to buy the item to exchange for an SSR). only SSRs though, and you're limited to one each (one birthday, one event). so if there's an SSR you REALLY want and it's already had its rerun, it's probably worth planning to save up some keys for!

as for actual reruns, they seem to come in a few different flavors:

straight-up rerun, no changes or extra cards

unchanged event story, with a new SSR of a character who wasn't in the story (e.g. Applepom Jamil)

slightly rewritten event story that includes a new SSR (e.g. Ghost Marriage, they don't seem to do this anymore though)

completely new event story that acts as either a sequel or alternate-universe version of the original (e.g. Beans Day part 2, Fairy Gala IF) (though this is pretty rare and might actually count as a separate event, rather than a rerun?)

Master Chef/Culinary Crucible events have never gotten reruns (though they might start now that we've finally gotten through all the characters in JP, time will tell). birthday and Halloween events will also rerun the previous version in addition to the new one -- for instance, Eng should be getting a Glorious Masquerade rerun this year, followed by the new (Playful Land) Halloween event. and a birthday campaign will, in addition to the new card, have a separate pickup for the previous year's birthday card.

for the specific ones you mentioned -- I think Beanfest, Ghost Bride, Fireworks, and Starsending have already rerun in Eng, so those most likely will not be rerun again (at least not anytime soon). Masquerade should be coming back for you guys this Halloween, and Portfest JUST got its rerun in JP, so that should be coming too sometime in the future! (no new SSR though, alas, I was really hoping for a little marching band sailor boy Leona. 😔) the Easter event is the White Rabbit Fest, right? that one hasn't gotten a rerun in JP yet either, so it's still on the table!

all that said, it's entirely possible they'll change the rules at some point and start doing more reruns/chances to get older event cards, especially since the game's been going on for a few years now and some cards haven't been available for a pretty long time! there's only one card that they said was for-realsies limited-time-only and wouldn't ever be available again -- Platinum Grim, since he was to celebrate the 100th anniversary -- so. there's always a little bit of hope for everything else. :D (fairy gala Ortho PLEASE COME BACK SOB)

[bellaxgiornata]

Ask the boys! What are Mikey and/or Matt's favourite comforting ways to decompress (with reader)?

Ohhhh, thank you for this one!! I had to sit them down for this little dialogue! As always, I'll throw everything under the cut because this'll be longer. But please enjoy this gif depicting Matt's enthusiasm levels today at me being distracted from a particular fic update he wants.

Bella, dramatically shouting: So who's ready to play ASK THE BOYS?!

Mikey, cringing a little on the couch: D'ya really need to say it like that, pet?

Matt, raising a brow: Yeah, we're not exactly on an episode of Family Feud. This isn't a game show.

Bella: No, but could you imagine if you were? Maybe Fog could be the fourth player. And you know what? I'd actually pay good money to see that because it'd be hilarious. But now that you say that, I think I want to play Ask the Boys like it is a game show every time someone asks for it. So thank's for that, Matty!

[Matt dramatically sighs loudly on the couch beside Mikey]

Frank, shouting from the kitchen as he makes coffee: Can you just let the lady have some fun? Play along, dammit. Don't you know better than to argue with a pregnant woman, anyway?

Mikey, settling into the couch: He has a point. Best not to argue.

Matt, reluctantly: Fine. What's the question?

Bella: Okay, since you're being a sourpuss I'm asking Mikey first. What's your favorite comforting way to decompress with Reader/a significant other?

Mikey, scratching his beard in thought: Suppose I'd say...somethin' calming. Like takin' a walk, just holdin' hands and enjoyin' each others' company. Or maybe cuddlin' up in bed or on the sofa with a book and just readin' together, not even sayin' a word. I deal with enough excitement with my family, don't exactly need anymore outside o' that, y'know? I'd rather just...slow things down for a bit together. Be able to hold them and just be with them.

Bella: Ohh, I like that. You definitely do need less stress and a slower paced environment with some of the stuff your family puts you through constantly. Or like...an entire change of scenery that isn't Dublin.

Mikey, humming in agreement: Ya can say that again.

Bella, focusing on Matt: Now Matt, same question.

Matt, growing a sheepish smile: I'd have to say...in my bed with both of us not wearing clothing--[quickly holding up a hand to quiet everyone before they interject] solely because it's far too irritating if I'm trying to decompress and relax with too much outside stimulation, not for any other reasons. I'd rather just feel them over anything else. Because I'd prefer to focus in on their heartbeat and their breathing, listening to the sound of their voice as they talked. Sometimes outside stimulation just gets to be too much with my senses, and that's where I'd feel the most comfortable with a partner while trying to decompress. Somewhere without some of that extra stimulation. And uh...I wouldn't mind being the one who was being cuddled instead of doing the cuddling, I guess, too...

Bella, nodding: Makes sense. I think we're all well aware of how touch starved you tend to be--especially for a touch that isn't someone punching you in the face for once. Obviously for you to decompress with a partner, you'd want them doing the comforting. Though I highly doubt you'd ever just, you know, ask for what you wanted, so you'd need a partner that already could intuit that. But you know, there's nothing wrong with asking for what you need, Matt.

Matt, abruptly rising from the couch: Okay, I wasn't expecting this to turn into a therapy session. Are we done now?

Bella, rolling her eyes: If it was a therapy session with all of you, we'd be here for months. But yes, that does answer the question for this round of Ask the Boys!

Matt, grinning: Great, now maybe you can get back to that thing you're almost finished writing for me. You know the one.

Bella, sighing: Fine, fine. I'll let you three get back to pre-baby panicking in here for now while I finish it.

(Bella's Follower Celebration Post for those who want to join in the fun!)

[oneefin]

i beat world of goo 2 last weekend. phenomenal experience! absolutely worth the hype and my $30

i took a far-from-exhaustive set of screenshots of some standout times from my playthrough that left me in awe (all relatively spoiler free)

so i'm no video game reviewer, but i'll spill out some thoughts i have. spoiler warning from here on out!

world of goo 2 thoughts

this really doesn't need saying, because it's self-evident, but the game is gorgeous. literally oozing with completely unique and original art on every screen, including all the insane reflections and goo shapes and typography and artstyle shifts. i spent the start of every level just panning around admiring what i was looking at

on top of that, it sounds amazing. the game is about 6 hours if you go quick, but it's set to a score with a combined length of almost 2 hours. the sheer density of music in this game is breathtaking already, and the fact that it's absolutely world-class is the bonus on top

the level design is everything i expected from this team - a series of elegant, concept-driven scenarios that bounce rapidly from mechanic to mechanic without being afraid of underdeveloping any of them, in a way that feels exceptionally hand-crafted and curated. i felt so much care placed in every individual level, even if that meant there weren't so many of them

the emphasis on fluid simulation was especially cool - and i don't mean that in a "oh it's very technical and innovative and etc", as lots of programmer-y graphics-y gameplay elements tend to present themselves. the design does a really really good job at reigning in the inherent chaos of liquid physics and making it do a single, elegant thing that's exactly what you expect in every situation

the story of world of goo 2 is very windy and adventurous, but it's still cohesive! one of my worries going into this was that the story was going to lean more abstract / unresolutive, similar to past tomorrow corporation games, but for this they managed to craft a story arc that makes sense while still being fundamentally unpredictable - you can never tell what will happen next or in what direction things are going

chapter 4 was definitely a risky move! it panned out for me specifically but i can understand people not appreciating the tonal shift and/or the detective noir stuff. i thought the noir levels ran a risk of being too slow-paced relative to the other levels, but the payoff of the chapter finale really sold the whole thing for me - that was extremely cool. (i suspect they actually cut a set of levels from the chapter - ones corresponding to world of goo 6, mentioned in the finale level. now i'm just curious what it was...)

i think calling it "chapter 5" rather than "epilogue" in this game ran a risk of bad expectation setting, where people might be disappointed to see a chapter with only 4 levels, rather than a dozen and a half. i personally saw this coming so i wasn't bothered, although i felt the levels could have stepped it up challenge-wise, to feel like more fitting send-offs

i haven't hunted ocds seriously yet, but i expect to give it a spin sometime! maybe after more people upload videos of their crazy strategies. going for ocds lengthens the runtime of the game significantly - they're not trivial!

excellent sequel overall. it's great if you're going into it expecting exactly what world of goo 1 was, just with different, more 2020s ideas - it doesn't overdeliver or underdeliver compared to that.

[jicamasticks]

some thoughts on the malevolent s4 finale...

(yes it was great and i loved it and i'll relisten to it many times, buuuuut i have a few thoughts and nowhere else to really share them, so here we go)

i'm a little unclear what to make of Arthur/John and Larson/Yellow's situations.

a large part of what drew Kayne's attention to Arthur was the fact that Arthur did not die upon becoming John's host, which we are led to believe is an extremely impressive feat (even if we don't know the factors contributing to Arthur's success in doing so).

but then there's Larson and Yellow.

if Yellow is not just another fragment, but in fact the King-sans-John, then wouldn't Larson's ability to host Yellow be that much more impressive?

we don't know much about how Yellow became bound to Larson. presumably, Kayne's responsible, but beyond that... we got nothin'.

it's possible that Kayne aided Larson's ability to host Yellow, but if not... then that implies that Arthur's uniqueness no longer relies on him carrying John.

i hoped that we would get some clarity on that the next time we encountered Larson/Yellow, but no such luck. instead, we learned that all four of them--Arthur, Larson, John, and Yellow--are all dying in their present circumstances. (initially, i briefly thought "oh, that's what sets Arthur apart from Larson--Arthur isn't suffering the same consequences as Larson for playing divine host" only for the script to immediately inform me that no, Arthur is also dying.)

granted, this could very well be addressed in the future. Kayne's obviously going to be playing a bigger role in s5, and not only could he reveal more about Larson/Yellow, he's also explicitly interested in what actually makes Arthur special.

speaking of! KAYNE!!!

it's hard not to enjoy Kayne. his dialogue is over-the-top and FUN. plus, he can't help but be a lens for the audience because he is, with popcorn and everything, also a member of the audience.

that said, he's been pulling strings since the coda, which is more the other audience members can say. even if you include the patrons, Kayne has more insight and power in this story than anyone else in the audience ever will.

which is why i'm so interested to see what Kayne actually wants with Arthur! comparatively, he doesn't really seem to care about John much. he seems to view John as something of a novelty, and he cares about him as a tool for manipulating Arthur, but he doesn't show much interest in John as an actual person.

what also has me interested about s5 is that we don't have that much of a direction for the plot right now. it kinda sounded like Kayne wants to take them on a cosmic tour? which could include the Dark World, but it's hard to say whether that will be a purposeful destination or a dramatic accident. (and i'm all for dramatic accidents, but that implies Kayne intends something else and i want to know what that is!!!)

it's possible i'd have a better idea of what to expect next if i had any familiarity with the Call of Cthulu game, but i don't. just surface-level lovecraftian lore for me, thx. (i plan on reading The King in Yellow sometime, but i'm not about to go on a deep-dive into the lovecraftian mythos.)

anyway, this is what's eating at me rn. if you got this far, thanks for reading and pls tell me your thoughts too!!

[zoobus]

With One Day Left I'll Break All the Destruction Flags: "Serves You Right!" RTA 24 Hour Record

Fun concept, middling payoff. Villainess "wakes up" 24 hours before her condemnation and fights it with everything she has.

Always the most fun to write about: The Bad

I'm never a fan of isekais that give any weight to divine right of kings, especially when we've established this character is from a modern day democratic country.

Oh nooo, would the heroine winning mean the next king would have commoner blood? A low pedigree? Tell me why I should give a fuck ms. office worker who died renting a studio apartment.

I know they were holding this artist back from drawing wrinkles on these milfs. I can feel it in my blood.

otoisekais looooove to punish reincarnators for playing the fucking game as intended. like oh here's a reverse harem route but if you take it, everypony will beat you with hammers which you will deserve you greedy breeding sow. If you want a reverse harem, burn in hell. Can we stop slut shaming women already? So sick of harem-hate as a norm! If it was an option in the game, it should be an option for the reincarnator, get over yourself.

In general, the OG heroine is little more than a punching bag for the women to take turns denouncing. She's self-centered and thoughtless, sure, but (in my mind) she had no malicious intent until she realized how dire the situation was - she's just playing the game! If you're familiar with the term "white lotus," I wouldn't even call her that. The route she targeted is even one where the villainess survives and befriends the heroine (the villainess is viscerally repulsed by the idea, which is funny). She says something upsetting/hypocritical, but as far as we know, that's what her character is supposed to say! Now, they kinda-sorta rationalize that her ho-tendencies have the potential to destabilize the country, but it's also clear her #1 crime is man-eating. You sound like a hater 2 me.

After 24 hours of setup, of theft, manipulation, buying people off, food-tampering, and string-pulling, the actual condemnation ends up pretty lackluster. To an extent, that's the conceit, to ensure beyond a shadow of a doubt the condemnation fails. Even so, the remaining points of contention are either generic ones you've seen dozens of times:

or are given super weak rebuttals - in what universe do you confirm you paid thugs to beat up your classmate and escape punishment because a) the thugs were unsuccessful and b) you only did it because you were jealous? I know the world hates women who fuck, but it's crazy how one of them committed an actual crime and got off with a mere apology and you're supposed to nod along like that makes sense. "I apologized, what more do you want" - add that zinger to your next legal defense.

The Mid

I wanted to like that the villainess was angered more by the idea of befriending the harlot who stole her man than she was the idea of execution, but it didn't hit for me, nor did the other insinuations of her being a fr villainess rather than a good girl with spilling cleavage. Perhaps because the story blends her antagonist motives in with the indignant rebukes of intelligent noble ladies with refined countenances and even fiercer eyes.

And while I'm a big fan of the cold, fierce eyes of women committed to her ideals, I was ambivalent about their ideals absorbing "the heroine is an annoying slut and will cause the empire to crumble." A sincere villainess who makes no apologies for her behavior endears me, but writers continually ruin it by looking for justifications for that behavior.

Similar feelings about assassin-boy's end. On paper, I like that kind of callousness. In execution (lol), it felt sort of hollow. What's the tone of this outcome, what am I supposed to feel? Not bad, but could have been stronger.

I guess you have to have romance in these things. This one was there.

The Great

Love loooooved the twist. This was the best plot conclusion and made the whole thing worth it.

Did the Reincarnator deserve this? Hell no. Which made it even more delicious! This is the kind of unjust cruelty I'm here for! She really unlocked the insane yandere bad end for the offense of being herself.

Art was nice and dare I say I wish it was more common to draw normal athlete muscles like this instead of the popular hyper shredded dehydrated infinity obliques aesthetic? It just looks better.

In the end, it's easier to remember the bad than the good, so obviously the critique ratio here is waaaay off. This was a fine, but suffers from a few of my OI pet peeves.

[bagelrites]

Have you ever had a fanfiction idea you knew was great but didn't have the time/courage/patience to write ? What would be the backbones of it and what scene in particular would you still like to see written one day ?

So my problem is that when I think of a fan fiction idea even if I have 20 other wips I still somehow think I will do it someday. There is one big fic idea that I had that I have pretty much given up on though, and that's the Squid Game AU. Obviously I thought of it when the DTeam were playing in the Squid Game tournament, and the premise would be that George and Sapnap are contestants who very early on become friends and form an alliance, and Dream is a guard who keeps somehow ending up in situations where he has to talk to George, and they start falling in love. There'd be a lot of complicated feelings, but in the end George escapes with Dream because in that final game he doesn't actually get shot when he loses (I think Dream would have gotten some of the other guards on his side,) but he plays dead until the field is cleared and then Dream comes and whisks him away and they escape on a boat together. George is kind of sad about leaving Sapnap behind, but he has a feeling he's going to win, and he's right of course.

I don't think I'll write more or a shortened version or anything one day. I had so little of it written, in fact, I could actually share everything I wrote here right now, so I'll put it below the cut :)

This was the opening:

George liked the blue hue of his jumper. He’d been told it was turquoise, actually, but it looked a grayish blue to him, cool and muted, like the still face of a lake reflecting the sky. The white stripes could be clouds, perhaps. The numbers over his heart the ripples of a fish flipping from the water, or perhaps the pearly feathers of an egret in flight.

And yes, technically it was a prisoner’s uniform, but George felt it was important to find comforts even—or perhaps especially—in circumstances such as these.

The dormitory was spacious, in its own way. The beds were stacked three layers high, but the mattresses weren’t terribly thin, and there was a wealth of free space opposite the bunks, plenty of room for all two hundred competitors to mingle together, or else find some corner to sulk in alone. The white walls were bright, too, and the ceilings were high.

George supposed if this was the room he was destined to sleep his last night in, at least it was clean and airy. Better than rotting away in a cramped prison cell, right?

He rolled from his side onto his back, staring up at the cross-beams holding up the mattress above him. It had been about an hour or so since they let the competitors into the dorm, and so far there was no word as to when the games would begin. George had been trying to nap in his bunk to wait it out, but everyone else was being far too talkative, and the din of voices kept him awake. Finally, he got antsy enough to get up, deciding to take a stroll around the room and scope out his competitors.

Not that he really thought it would help him win. He didn’t quite plan to do that. Didn't see the point in trying, if he was honest. If he won, he won. If he didn’t…

Then I had a few scenes of dialogue jotted down. First George teasing Dream:

“Why did you say that?”

“Say what?”

“That you trust me.”

“Oh. I don’t know. You’re fun to mess with.”

Dream looked away.

“George, you don’t even know me.”

“You could change that.”

“George—” Dream sputtered, and George giggled. He sounded so cute when he was flustered.

“You’re already talking to me. That’s a step in the right direction.”

Dream froze, and didn’t make any reply. George wished he could see behind his mask, see if he was angry, or scared, or just flushed from embarrassment. He was betting on the latter. “Oh, now you’re all quiet.”

And then here's George seeing Dream's face for the first time:

“Wow, you’re—” George paused, face flushing. “Nothing.”

“I’m nothing?” Dream chuckled.

“No, I mean—I mean you’re, um…” his mind raced for the right word, the least embarrassing word. “Handsome?”

“Oh, I am?” Dream leaned closer, smirking, and George covered his face with his hands.

“No, I meant hot! You’re hot!” he said, muffled into his palms.

Dream just laughed, the sound light and lovely and adoring, and George melted under the warmth of it.

And finally some George + Sapnap dialogue:

“Why do you think you’re gonna win?”

“Because I have to. I have to think it,” Sapnap said. “If I don’t think I can win, then I know I’ll die. You know?” 

George hummed.

“I think you might actually do it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I just… have this feeling that you’re gonna go all the way,” George said.

“Well, then I want you to go all the way with me.”

George smiled and couldn’t help snickering a little at that.

“What? I mean it.”

“Oh, c’mon. You know what that sounded like.”

[soccerpunching]

I love your posts! Can you share more of your Gouenji headcannons? Have a lovely day/night!!

OMG?!?!? THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU!! but you should know... that if you mention gouenji to me that I'll say something long... just like this one, sorry

His reason for initially playing soccer is not anything special.

(finally finished editing i think)

It wasnt anything like something that found him while he was lonely, something passed down or given to him, or something that he shared with someone.

I think when he was young he tried a lot of sports that would keep him interested and stimulated. He likes moving around. He likes the feeling of wind on his face and putting his body in a sort of momentum and drowning in the ecstatic feeling of adrenaline.

Track and field was fun but he realized that there was more stimulation that he was missing. In baseball he found out that he likes the sensation of direct competition; of being able to face his opponent.

Volleyball was pretty cool and has more bodily contact that his body required but it doesn't require him to run that far... keeping his legs moving was important for his body and mind in ways he never really figure out why.

Basketball was stimulating enough; he could run and he crashed with his opponents enough for him to realize that he knew rough housing was something he was looking for... he enjoyed being in the air too. But it was when he fought in a specially rough game that he realized what he was actually looking for.

Being raised in a partially conservative environment that willed in him a great importance to doing good and charity, he wasn't particularly encouraged on being rough and tough (only after his mother passed did he start being a little rough on those he think are wrong and started blurring how rough could he go over someone who he thought is wrong and unfair).

What he said to Kozoumaru (ares) about being a forward, particularly intrigued me. "You can tackle people, you should be a forward." I mean of course that's an important part of the sport, tackling, and as a forward he would know that best. But ig i just didnt expect for him to just be direct about that. Not like he's someone who minces his words, but the sound of pride he had about it was so intriguing to me. It sounded almost like that's what he liked about being a forward the most, but i may just be overthinking that. Not like there would be anything wrong if that was what he loved about it either, I just wanted to emphasize that he had a particular pride in tackling.

The headcanon I'm trying to share here is that he didn't have an important history in the discovery of soccer, but it did become the perfect stimulation for him because it had everything he wanted. When he lost an important person in his life (his mother), he became dependent on the sport itself in redirecting how he's feeling for what he could have probably gotten from communication and connection with others.

Whenever he's angry, sad, happy, lonely, or feeling any other emotion... it was soccer that had his back. It was a friend to him. And that's how it turned into his lifeline. That, I think, was the reason he felt more obligation to protect soccer more than everybody did or more than how Endou won't be able to. This was why he needed to be Ishido Shuuji and then the chairman of youth soccer, because if soccer was able to help and prevented him from being lost, then it could do that to others too. As long as the friend he knew (soccer) stayed the same way.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!! im sorry for posting it accidentally before i was done adasdfasd

[purplesurveys]

1864

How would you describe your journey so far in your 20s? I'd say more than anything it's been a quiet journey of me trying to make the most of what I'm handed, and it's been a mixed bag of clumsy moments, feelings of loss, and times where I feel on top of the world. I lost a great chunk of my 20s from the pandemic, so I think I'll always resent all the missed opportunities that were taken from me – like traveling or partying and even the feeling of Actually Working In An Office.

By the time Covid took a backseat my friends and I were already in our mid-20s and didn't feel like doing youth-y stuff anymore. But like I said, I hate seeing situations as helpless so I've done all I could to pivot and still enjoy what life has to offer. I reconnect with friends as often as I can, go out even if it means eating or going to a museum alone, go to as many concerts as I can, take my family to ALL of the expensive restaurants that we could only stare at before...things like that. I have a very strong need to feel ~alive after what the world had been through.

What role does music play in your life, and are there any songs or artists that have had a significant impact on you? It now has less impact from, say, when I was in high school where music served as my personal megaphone and made me feel practically invincible. Now, I listen to music mostly for enjoyment; I vibe more with beats and instrumentals versus lyrics.

Paramore continues to be the most influential for me because they always seem to know what's going on in my head and what I need to hear or know. BTS will also always have a major impact on me simply by virtue of saving me from death.

Are there any specific goals or aspirations you have for your future? How do you plan to work towards them? My biggest goal in life, and has been since I was 9, is to be able to attend Wrestlemania 50. That's really it; I don't wish for much other than that + not to get sick + for my loved ones not to get sick. I know that shit will cost millions – from visa applications to the flight tickets to the cost of things in the US – so I save as much as I can.

Another is to be able to travel outside Asia, if possible taking my parents with me so they can see the world too. Again, it's a matter of money so it's the same goal of earning and saving as much as possible to make it happen.

How do you prioritize self-care and maintain your mental well-being in your daily life? Paying more attention to work-life balance. I did the dirty work in the last 3 years when I was working myself up the ranks. Now that I've pretty much reached my work goals (for now), I'm granting myself the self-compassion to take it easy and slowly.

What are some activities or hobbies that bring you joy and help you relax? I have a rhythm game that I regularly play to decompress. I also keep up with pro wrestling, as I think it's great to have that one niche interest that you can always come back to; of course there's BTS which is my constant source of comfort and happiness...I write when I need an outlet, as shitty and clumsy as my poems are...and I have my dogs with whom I play and baby and cuddle for hours each day.

Have you ever faced any challenges related to mental health? How do you cope with them? I used to be severely depressed. I didn't have ways to cope with it and I also didn't go to therapy because I was always shy (and it's very! expensive!), which certainly didn't help with my trying to get out of that hole. I was self-destructive for a very long time.

Everything got better when I discovered BTS and found a family in them. As cheesy as it sounds, I learned how to laugh and smile again (and mean it) because of them. They made me want to be better for myself and they made me want to help myself.

How do you define love and what does it mean to you personally? Promising to do your best by a person, at least to me. I know I love someone when I want to be better because of them while simultaneously doing my best, in the choices that I make, to make them feel happy and safe.

What qualities do you look for in a partner or potential significant other? I gave up on love in this respect because I've experienced the ugliest a relationship could possibly get that I've walked away from it for good. That said, I don't think any trait, as perfect and as desirable as it makes someone seem, could redeem romantic relationships for me anymore.

How do you navigate dating in the modern world, especially with the influence of technology and social media? I don't. And I've been the happiest avoiding it.

What are your thoughts on marriage and starting a family? Is it something you envision for yourself? It used to be. It has zero appeal to me now.

How do you maintain a healthy work-life balance and prevent burnout? I clock out at exactly 6 PM now. Latest at 6:30 PM, and I only make overtime exceptions if it *absolutely* cannot be helped. I have also learned how to delegate, which was my illness before as I used to hoard and hoard and hoard tasks – both because I wanted to prove myself to my superiors and because I felt guilty about passing tasks to my teammates thinking they'd think of me as bossy.

Are there any specific skills or areas of knowledge you would like to develop or improve upon? I wish I was a naturally good and a natural born leader. I'm a follower and a listener through and through, so it's a struggle now that my work description pretty much mandates me to lead an entire team. Couple that with my anxiety and paranoia that makes me fixate on the thought of my teammates preferring Bea (who left) over me and think I'm incompetent, and it all makes for a shitty equation.

Still, I try to do the best I can and lead to the best of my abilities because if I keep up that ^ toxic mindset it will become more and more true – so I might as well do my damn best and learn from the journey, mistakes and all.

How do you handle setbacks or failures and use them as opportunities for growth? I'm very analytical about it, which I guess is a major side effect from the work I do (which is very learnings-obsessed). I take a look at the areas I failed in, think back on things I said that I could've said better, things like that...and actively make a change the next time I need to do them to see if the impact would be better that time around.

How do you stay connected with your friends and loved ones despite the demands of adult life? Well that's part of the magic of the world going online. Everyone's just a chat away; and even if I don't actively/routinely talk to someone I can always keep up with their lives through stories and posts.

Are there any specific travel destinations or experiences you hope to explore in the future? Since I was around 12-13 I've made it a goal to travel to Chicago one day. Some of my favorite shows and films are set there + Chicagoans seem to be THE most passionate people about their own hometown.

I wish it were also easier to travel around India, but as a woman I doubt that will ever happen in my lifetime. I'd love to visit as I'm very interested in their culture and I would like to try authentic street food.

Places in South Korea outside of Seoul – Busan, Daegu, all the countryside places they feature on 2 Days 1 Night that have their own traditions, festivals, cuisines...South Korean culture is very colorful and it'd be great to experience them all; but the language barrier becomes a bigger issue the farther you get from the city. I'm also very well aware of the racist sentiments towards Filipinos and the fact that Koreans shoo away foreigners when they feel like it (even within Seoul!), so that makes me wary about visiting non-Seoul places much as I would love to experience their culture.

How do you navigate and make decisions about your career path and professional growth? I treat every day like it's my first day on the job and completely clueless – it helps with forming a mindset to consistently want to become better. I credit that thinking to my quick improvements and why my promotions have been as quick as they became.

What are some of your favorite ways to give back to your community or contribute to causes you care about? My main advocacy is supporting animal shelters and adoption of stray animals, which involves money – and a lot of it. That said I donate 1-2 times a week to various NGOs/shelters; and I share calls for adoption whenever I come across them on social media.

There's one shelter in particular that has a subscription feature of like ₱180 a month, where the money goes to maintenance, treatments, rescues, and food – afaik I've been subscribed ever since they introduced that feature. I wish they could open up higher tiers because I am definitely willing to pay more, but since it's not available I just continue sending them money for their individual rescues.

How do you envision your life in the next five years, and what steps are you taking to make that vision a reality? In five years I think having my own place would be a lot more feasible so I hope I have been able to achieve that by then! My benchmark is Bea who was able to have her own condo at 29, so that's what I'm working towards haha. I can't believe at high school I thought having my own place at like 22 would be easy...so naive.

[librathefangirl]

For the fic ask game!! 5, 6, and/or 7?

Thank you for the ask 💜

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

As a general rule, I wish someone would ask me about [insert fic] period. I love writing and I love talking about my writing. Any and all questions, comments, rants, screaming, whatever is welcome 💜

The first specific thing that did pop up in my head is actually for a wip: The Dusk Before a New Dawn (my Dark Melizabeth AU). I've come up with my own spell for this fic and would LOVE for someone to ask me about the words. But I'm not gonna answer that now. Honestly, it's so silly and stupid it might ruin the mood of the scene if you know what the spell actually says. But:

Once the fic is actually posted, someone please ask me what the spell words in The Dusk Before a New Dawn means!

6. What’s one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

Ooh, this is a tough question because a lot of my fics are part of AUs that I definitely wanna build onto and write more stories for, which means some things will get mentioned/explained in future fics.

But one thing I really want to talk more about is Meliodas' communication in my Monster Sins AU. I'm not sure how much I'll get into it in later fics but it's something I've put a lot of thought into (especially after writing the first fic, oops).

In the first (and so far only) fic in the AU, One Man's Beast, the demons' communication is very much swept under the rug because we experience it through the ignorant perspective of not only an outsider but a human one at that. Through the fic Gavin (our human outsider) notes that Meliodas communicates with King through sounds like rumbling and purring. Gavin dismisses this as just an alternative to speaking since Meliodas' is muzzled and can't actually speak, but it's actually a lot more than that.

The average human relies on two kinds of communication, right? Verbal communication (spoken and written language) and non-verbal communication (body language, facial expressions, gestures and whatnot). The demons in this AU also have a third kind of communication consisting of purring, growling, humming and other sounds like that in a system just as complex as the spoken language. Meaning that yes, Meliodas relied heavily on this (so far unnamed) communication because of the muzzle, but at the same time he might have just used that communication even if he could have spoken.

Gavin also notes that King seem to understand what Meliodas tries to say, which he actually does. Now, this kind of communication is specific to the demons, meaning most people wouldn't understand Meliodas like that, but the Seven Deadly Sins do! Obviously, they can't use this communication themselves, and might not understand everything or exactly what Meliodas says like another demon would, but they've known him for years and have learned to interpret this communication. So, he still can and does use it frequently with them. It's a great asset actually, he can alert them to a threat without having to actually speak the words, meaning they could keep the element of the surprise against enemies trying to catch them by surprise.

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

As you might be able to tell I have a special fondness for the above mentioned AU. But since most of that is still yet to be written or posted (and I've already rambled about that one in this post), I'll go with another one. The way the demons' bodies work in The Heat of the Storm.

What's funny about this is that it was something that just kind of happened? I couldn't decide which prompt I wanted to use since I wanted to both write about Meliodas having a fever and him being stuck and suffering in a snow storm (natural disaster). So instead I decided to do both and came up with a special way the demons inner temperature is dependent and reactive to the environment's temperature. I love making the demons more demon and less human, and this is one of the ways I'm especially proud of!

Anyway. Here's the list for the ask game, if anyone else wanna send me something :)

[leam1983]

Tinnitus

One of the silent killers of the IT industry's workers (OK, it doesn't actually kill anyone but it makes things difficult) is tinnitus. Spend long enough huddled in a Screaming Data Cabinet with or without ear protection and you're pretty much guaranteed to eventually wake up on a particularly shitty morning with a pair of demented little devils singing constant half-tones in your ears. In my case, tinnitus abates when I sleep well and acts up when I don't, seemingly drawing power from my sometimes following a day spent with headphones on for work with - several more hours wearing headphones to play. That's even with the volume put down to where my current game is nearly unplayable due to lack of audio feedback.

So I'm nearing the yearly point where I'll have to take a day off to let my poor sound-holes recover. I'm glad that it's happening now, with Walt being my boss, and with Sarah now being trained enough to be able to pick up on basic operations in my stead.

My game plan for tomorrow is simple: no TV, no music, no headphones - just ambient stuff, for as long as possible. If gaming becomes tolerable, I'll use my dinky little Logitech speakers instead of a headset.

What always bothers me is that in some ways, the coil whine I'm perceiving deep in both ears is the sound of specific frequencies dying. I'm in for a few days of that constant ringing, then followed by abatement - then release. Release, knowing that on some tiny level I won't perceive for years, I'm just slightly less aware of what's going on in my auditive spectrum.

What's even worse is the notion that I've over-stimulated my ears. I'll lie in bed and have the sense that I'm having auditory ADHD if Walt isn't snoring or if Sarah's purring breaths aren't full-on in my other ear. My mind fills the void with whatever it is it can make up, which is usually more coil whine. I've reached the point where I'll fall asleep to phantom voices, AC noises that don't exist or imprecise music that feels more half-remembered than conjured up, all because my brain is so used to a constant barrage of stuff that it feels forced to hallucinate actively.

At this point, I have a bit of a bone to pick with game designers that sort of have their Audio team balance everything for gamers with headsets cranked way the Hell up. Pacific Drive went for the smarter solution of making distinct sounds mean different things, whereas Nightingale is so far its own John William Waterhouse-smelling ass that every broken twig, every enemy, every whistling pine and even environmental noise is all entirely positioned in 3D space, unlike real life where a lot of nature's aural backdrop gets tuned out by your sense of focus. Great for Survival Crafting nerds, not so great for ears that are pleading for mercy...

As for Helldivers 2 - as much as I'd like to do my part for Verhoeven-flavored Democracy, I'm physiologically averse to a game that has me raining hot napalm death on bug-shaped enemies within hearing range. Playing with audio levels within more sedate ranges takes away a ton of positional info, and lowering things down to comfortable levels more or less makes you blind to every Terminid or Automaton grouping that decides to either flank you or attack you from behind.

I'll still eventually pen impressions for all of these; they're all quality titles in their own right - but Pacific Drive wins by virtue of being easier on the ears than a lot of recent releases, which is a bit of a weird thing to say about a game focusing on a battered Station Wagon from the seventies being tossed into a Roadside Picnic-esque hellscape...

[the-haunted-office]

To all Muses: what is one piece of media you think is overrated?

Cyrus: "Oh dear, let's see, my repertoire of media is rather limited to the media my Mun is familiar with. I'd say pretty much any present day horror movie. Now, I know my cohort agrees with me on this, as she has spoken of it at great length, but a lot of horror movies these days lean too much on jump scares and excessive gore for shock value rather than actual, genuinely scary things."

Thursday: "Books like Twilight, 50 Shades of Gray, 365 Days, and After. I do not understand how these are seen as romantic. Like, at all. All of them are highly toxic and oftentimes abusive relationships being packaged and sold as loving, sensual relationships and that's not how it works at all. These stories would work if they were horror stories or cautionary tales or written as satire or ironic, but they're not! They're being genuinely marketed and consumed as romance! I don't understand it and it's terrible and sends all the wrong messages to younger folks that abuse in relationships is okay! Please stop with these god awful booooooooooooks!"

Doomsday: "You know, I actually fully agree with Thursday. I can't think of anything other than that, except for one thing, but I'll play nice and let 432 have that honor."

Thisday: "Star Wars. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the movies I've seen, it's just... I don't get why they're so hyped? It's like people see the brand and automatically think it's gonna be good but that's how they get you, folks. Get you invested in the brand right from the start and you'll be hooked for life. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some My Little Pony collectibles to hunt down online!"

Stanley: "Bruce Springsteen. Hahaha, kidding! Kidding. Of course I'm kidding. All right, it's a good thing I'm already dead because I'm sure I'd be murdered for saying this. Vocaloid. Sorry folks, it's not my thing. I don't much like the sound of it and I'm not sure why it's so popular. Could be a generational thing, though, I'll admit."

Aurora: "Oh. I'm not as familiar with Earth media to make such a judgment. But I suppose I don't understand all these cooking competition shows. They're put together as far more dramatic than they really are and oftentimes judges are far more cruel than they need to be."

September: "Fucking Harry Potter. STOP. READING. THESE. BOOKS. STOP. CONSUMING. THE. SPINOFFS. AND. VIDEO. GAMES. Whatever you loved about these books as a child or young adult is dead and by continuing to consume this garbage you are directly harming folks like me."

Timmy: "Um. I- I don't know. I guess I never understood the popularity of YouTubers. They're so loud and overreact to everything. I'm sorry! I'm sorry, but I can't stand hearing them!"

[gaypleasantview]

Tank Grunt for 003

OF COURSE.......

How I feel about this character

listen i never even got to fully process this boy and the depths of his painful life and then this adult version of him was thrown at me and i honestly find him to be such a goofball he's so endearing but in the way where i insult him constantly (that is my way of loving loser boys in the sims)

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character

i play the ds game as Cassandra and i honestly ship them a little bit, i think they make a cute little friendship with mutual respect and secret kisses. i like to think that the ds timeline is an alternate version of some events that will actually happen to my pc-timeline Cassandra and yeah Tank is actually grown there but in my normal version of events he would be way younger than her which made me think it would be super cute if he had an embarrassing teenage boy crush on her lol. i thought he's gay but now i see him as bi or maybe some other sexuality bc this is really cute. or maybe it's a comphet crush idk, my Cassandra is such a girlboss who wouldn't love her

okay but if we're talking romantic relationships of teenage Tank, ive always liked him together with Johnny, yes that sounds toxic but im a sucker for a relationship dynamic where someone tough actually gets the better version of themselves out with the help of their s/o while also not abusing them (does this remind you of someone in pv) anyways i would really like to explore this ship further. haven't thought of many others for Tank

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character

need to really give this some thought... i don't really see Tank having a lot of friends as a teen aside from what he thinks is a friendship with his dad (actually toxic), maybe he has like 1 friend who genuinely loves him despite everything but idk who. i would think of Tank as the quiet one but considering that he wont shut up in ds and treats Cassandra like his twitter he's probably secretly an oversharer and runs a blog no one irl knows about, and it's either super popular with angsty teens or completely private and no one follows him (who wants to bet Ripp knows about it and reads it all the time from Tank's computer bc he also knows the password). speaking of, he could probably be friends with Buck but definitely not Ripp lol. all of this will hopefully change when he grows up and parts with his dad. i feel like i kind of give Tank the dustin treatment so i'll consider my possible options for him and maybe i'll think of something super great

My unpopular opinion about this character

i feel like all of my opinions about him are very popular lol... im afraid of writing about the military part of his life bc i genuinely don't know much about how generals behave and i also really don't anticipate getting into this topic at all for obvious reasons but. i have a few versions in mind of what Buzz could be like that don't really go with what ive been thinking of him so far (and they would actually make him kind of a better person too) so maybe there could be a more interesting story for the Grunts in general. stay tuned

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

nothing i can think of right away? would be neat if there was an even heavier implication that he might have a very soft personality and that he could be gay but we'll do with what we have. i know he's canonically supposed to actually follow his father's footsteps (if you consider console games canon) but i really don't want him to do that ever. it's just not happening

My crossover ship

lets say this is about megahood, then... idk imagine Tank hanging out with someone like Puck and Hermia lol. they would be so much fun together. and of course what i explained about Cassandra up there. Alexander would probably throw him off a cliff for that

thank you for the ask!!!

[polandspringz]

Just wanted to drop here and say that I finished Lovely Complex and I am not saying it’s the superior og romcom anime but it is and i have never met a dumber couple and both of them are so dumb but I would die for them and in this essay I will-

GAHAHAH You had me scared for a minute because I read the "I am not saying-" and was like how but then I finished reading and YES IT IS!!!!

I first watched Lovely Complex back in 5th grade/2011ish, and it sounds corny but I actually remember the exact moment I saw it. My sister had an episode playing on her laptop while she straightened my hair the night before school, and I had watched anime before that, like Kimi Ni Todoke, Toradora, Kaichou wa Maid-sama, etc. but Lovely Complex was just different. It's actually the only anime I can say I've rewatched fully, at least five times. I know the entire soundtrack, I can mimic what the characters are about to do before they say/do it in an episode. I haven't done a full rewatch in a few years, but when I started to this month, I found that I still knew everything, and that's how deeply this series has been stuck in my brain, haha. (I forever think of the phrase "Bear Curry" and cry).

The anime covers so much per episode but yet somehow feels paced really well. Sure it moves fast, but the jokes are just as quick so it doesn't feel out of place. The way Koizumi and Otani's romance develops is done so well, I just love every story beat. The school festival, when she visits him while he's sick and the accidental kiss, her making him the snack for the basketball game and then falling asleep on his shoulder, THE FIREWORKS SCENE, the rush to the college exam, EVERYTHING. The only time I think the show dips is in the second cour when we have the love triangle going on with Koizumi's coworker because of a misunderstanding, but even in that drama I think some funny jokes come out of it (even if Otani is obviously hurt when he asks if she just goes after short guys).

It just makes me happy to see other people watch it is because the show is good. The biggest hurdles people have with getting into it I think is the comedy and the art style. The show is obviously very "loud" and although the jokes I feel are universal(?) I think it does have a very Japanese perspective on comedy, more slapstick- hell the whole show is built on the All Hanshin Kyoujin joke- which doesn't translate easily to beginners to anime. Also the art, although I love it, based on what my friends who failed to get into the show said, I think the reaction faces takes them too far out of the "pretty shoujo style" they like in romance anime. Which is part of why I really try to say that "I'll never drop/avoid a show because of the art style". I don't think its fair to discredit a great story just because you have stylistic preferences. Lovely Complex definitely leans more into the comedy than romance, which is why its art reflects that. The fashion in the show is also very Japanese 2000s, which I don't think a lot of people like either. Although for me, Risa deciding to become a stylist somewhat influenced me deciding to do fashion design at a young age.

I know for most people, their big three in early 2000s romance anime would probably be Kimi ni Todoke, Toradora, and then maybe Kamisama or Maid-sama as the third. However, I've always done my list with Lovely Complex in first place. It's somehow become very underrated in the present day anime community, and while it's definitely not a starter show (I have a whole separate essay just about how newcomers to anime from Tiktok are disliking shows because they're jumping into the new popular ones without being properly warmed up to them through older ones), it is one that I think everyone, especially if they like romance anime, should watch.

[youbloodymadgenius]

Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 1

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite, who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310, @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria. Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 1806

Additional note: I'm afraid I'll disappoint some of you. No more newspapers... The articles defined the setting of the story. From now on, it'll be a regular fic.

Hope you enjoy it nevertheless 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

June 2021

Ivar yawns, rubbing his eyes, when he suddenly hears the front door open. The next moment, Ubbe shouts, "Hey baby bro, we're home!"

Slightly confused, Ivar looks at the time on his computer. Stunned, he blinks repeatedly, shakes his head and checks the time again, now looking at his watch. "Guess I lost track of time," he mumbles as he realizes it's really 5:30 pm. He clears his throat. "I'm coming!"

Yawning once more, he wheels to the kitchen. Hvitserk waves at him with one hand as Ubbe greets him with a grin and Sigurd... Well, Sigurd ignores him, as usual.

"Hello boys!" Lagertha smiles as she also enters the kitchen. "Did you go to the beach this afternoon?" It's a rethorical question, since sand can be seen on the tanned skin of his brothers, shirtless and wearing only swimming shorts.

When she looks down at him, her smile becomes softer. "Ivar, you seem tired. Did you work all day long?"

He nods, glad that for once she called him by his first name and not by one of those stupid nicknames that she likes but that make his skin crawl.

"Yep," he shrugs without smiling back, "I made good progress. The new version of your website is almost done. It could probably be online by the end of the week."

His stepmom flashes him a beaming smile. "Great, thanks!"

The conversation then moves on to the subject that everyone in Kattegat has been talking about for the last few days: the midsummer party thrown by their neighbor Harald Hårfager. Every June, it is Kattegat's not-to-be-missed event, to which every resident hopes to be invited.

Lagertha is invited every year, yet rarely attends; his brothers wouldn't miss it, not in a million years; Ivar never went.

He listens with half an ear as his brothers prattle on about the upcoming party, while taking a seat at the large, wooden kitchen table on which Lagertha has just put cakes and drinks.

"What are you going to wear?"

"Do you think Marit will attend this year?"

"Hopefully the music will be better than last year."

"Can't be as bad! What was the name of that reggae band?"

For a fleeting moment, Ivar entertains the thought of attending as well. Not that he's dying to, but… Sometimes, he feels a little bit like Cinderella in this house.

Don't get him wrong, it's not that bad.

First, his stepmom is not–

Wait, wait, wait, is Lagertha technically his stepmom? He's not sure. After all, she wasn't when his parents were alive, she was just his father's first wife. Anyway, she may be his guardian now, but he sees her as his stepmom and he honestly doesn’t give a shit if it's a little weird.

Where was he? Oh yes, Cinderella.

So obviously, Lagertha is not a wicked, haughty and abusive stepmom like this Lady Tremaine of the fairytale.

Actually, even if it pisses him off to admit it, she's pretty nice, patient and composed. Does he love her? Let's not exaggerate – he doesn't. She may love him though, which is a little bit uncanny, if he's being honest. He was the favorite son of her nemesis. Shouldn't she hate him? He would, if the situation was reversed.

The truth is, when he was younger, he tried, he really tried to hate her, blaming her for everything and anything. When too much pain prevented him from sleeping, he let his imagination run wild. There, bound to his bed of suffering, he could see Lagertha cutting the brakes on his mother's car, causing her crash, causing her death.

Of course, even then, he knew deep down that Lagertha had not killed his mother; that the story he told himself was just the product of his endless nights of insomnia. But what can he say? He needed this. Because blaming Lagertha rather than admitting that his beloved mother was at fault – by being distracted, or by falling asleep, he'll never know – was easier for the heartbroken boy he was.

Anyway... So yes, Lagertha is definitely not an evil stepmother like Cinderella's.

Also, he doesn't sleep on a sorry garret, on a wretched straw bed either.

Actually, he has a very large room on the main floor, with a king-size memory foam bed, a walk-in – well, a wheel-in for his case – closet and his own, huge bathroom, fully equipped for his special needs.

Sure, the bathroom and the dressing room were already there when his parents were alive; however, the memory foam mattress had been Lagertha's idea.

Anyway... So yes, he can't exactly complain about his sleeping conditions, unlike Cinderella.

And obviously, he's not forced into servitude.

Actually, one might think so, but no, he's not. Sure, sometimes he works for his stepmom, like today. But so do his brothers. When she had taken them in, she was a powerful businesswoman, working twelve to fourteen hours a day. Once she had become their guardian, she had rearranged her working time and learned to delegate; but even so, she had often run out of time. Therefore, it had seemed normal to them – yes, even to him – to help her out, each of them according to their skills and abilities.

So, while Hvitserk almost always does the grocery shopping, while Sigurd vacuums and does the laundry, while Ubbe mows the lawn and trim the bushes, he, Ivar, runs her company's website and sometimes even does the accounting. And since he loves computers and numbers, it's not exactly a problem.

Anyway... So yes, he's not a slave in this house. Unlike Cinderella.

So, yes, to sum it up, he can't really complain and he's by far not Cinderella. And he knows it.

But... Yes, there's a but...

Sometimes, he feels trapped, as poor Cinderella must have felt.

Sometimes he feels like a spectator of a life he doesn't belong to.

Sure, he doesn't have to be homeschooled – but gods, he's glad he is. The reasons for him to be continuously bullied by classmates are endless. The simplest ones being: he is a cripple, an orphan, the son of a dead mob boss, the smartest one in the whole damn school, let alone his class. Take your pick. It's no fun, no fun at all. Being home alone is preferable to that alternative.

Therefore, barely leaving the house except for medical appointments, he has no friends. He doesn't do sports either – obviously – and yeah, he lives a lonely life, filled with video games and Netflix series. And he's okay with that. Well, most of the time.

Sure, his brothers, or at least Ubbe and Hvitserk, always try to include him as much as possible. But the truth is that because of his legs, there are many, many things he just can't do.

And the other truth, the less pleasant one, is that he partially did that to himself. He cut himself off from a world that hurt him, yet he still misses this world sometimes. At times, he blames himself. Because his life, honestly, is hardly what you would call a life, is it? Not when you're sixteen.

That's why sometimes, like now, he feels this longing, almost a need, to live. To really, truly, fully live. And that's why, for a brief moment, lulled by the light chitchat of his brothers, he considers attending Harald's midsummer party.

But he knows better. This life is not for him, never has been, never will be.

And so, shaking his head, he chases the thought away and, placing his hands on his push rims, he's about to leave the kitchen while the incessant babbling of his brothers goes on.

"I can't wait."

"Don't tell me! As every year, the most beautiful girls of Kattegat will be there."

"Remember that burger food truck? Best burgers ever!"

"I've heard Y/N would be attending this year."

"There'll be booze and girls! Sounds like Valh–"

Wait. His mind goes blank.

Fuck.

What? Did he hear right?

As he replays his brother's words in his head, it's like there's an earthquake happening inside of him.

Fuck.

He stops breathing. Blinks, then clamps his eyes shut.

Fuck.

When he finally manages to draw air into his lungs, he swallows loudly before asking in a weird, high-pitched voice, his heart pounding in his chest, "What– What did you say, brother?"

Hvitserk turns his head toward him and shrugs. "I just said there'll be boo–"

"No, not you!" Ivar snaps at his brother, pointing his pointer finger at Ubbe. "You, what did you fucking say?" Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Lagertha frowning – 'no curse words in this house, boys'– and even if he barely contains an eye roll, he still mouths a quick 'sorry' at her before rewording his question, impatience coursing through him. "What did you say, dear brother? Who did you say would attend?"

Stunned, Ubbe looks at him with wide eyes. "Y/N? I said Y/N would come. That's what I heard anyway. She's Harald's niece. She was here once, right? Remember her, baby bro, huh?"

But Ivar is no longer listening, the blood draining from his face. Y/N... Y/N... Fuck. Finally. Fucking finally. After so long... He may see you again. Wow.

I'll go! I'll fucking go!

He barely contains the words, suddenly acutely aware of the deafening silence in the room, his brothers shamelessly staring at him.

With her brows furrowed and her lips turned downward in a slight frown, Lagertha takes two steps forwards before crouching down in front of him. "Are you all right, sweetie? You're a little pale."

He barely hears when Sigurd giggles, "A little pale? He's greener than an alien!"

Lagertha shoots Sigurd a dirty look and then gently cups Ivar's cheek. "Do you know her, Ivar? Do you know Y/N?"

Overwhelmed, self-conscious, freaked out, caught off-guard, he doesn't know how to respond. Should he tell the truth? Should he lie? His brothers will mock him, for sure. What is the point of telling the truth? What good would it do? On the other hand, he could really use some advice. Yeah. Sure. Advice from Sigurd. Just the thought of it is enough to make him sick. Fuck, what is he going to do?

Rushed words are out of his mouth before he can even gather his thoughts. "No. No. I don't. I mean, yes, I think I do but–" He's being pathetic and he hates it. So after a sharp intake of breath, he shakes his head and eventually replies in a flat, calm voice, the white lie rolling off his tongue. "I know her, but I thought Ubbe was talking about someone else. Sorry."

With these words, he hastily leaves the room, his eyes riveted on his knees, his heart still drumming in his chest.

Y/N. Fuck.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar's taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom

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[gildedmuse]

Hey, everyone.

So recently I've (predictably) very not well. Actually, whenever I don't post for long periods, just assume my body is trying to kill me. But I've gotten messages from three people asking if I. Okay, which is super sweet. I am actually trying to work on the next All Hearts, a really long ZoLaw post and two request fics, but mixing chronic kidney pain and capitalist society's mandate to work 40+ hours is not recommended.

But to prove I'm okay and still me, here is some Shanks antics with him being a total slut while Mihawk and Beckman just roll their eyes and go along with it. [Shout out to @jhaernyl who not only listens to me ramble about this stuff, but actively encourages it]. I also have many thoughts on the latest episodes and so many screenshots it's embarrassing. Hopefully, when I'm in less pain, I'll get around to actually posting those. Otherwise I just look like an insane person who literally takes by the second frame shots every time Zoro is on screen.

.... What is that? I look like that anyway? Fair.

Shanks Is A Bad Influence

It feels like Buggy and Shanks split up after Roger's death (the crew was told to, and they are the only ones who went to his execution) and I find it impossible to think Shanks didn't immediately set out and find a crew; like, pirating is the only thing this kid knows in life. This means two things:

He set out from East Blue. Also, he seemed at ease and familiar with the East so it's possible he spent like a year there getting everything together. Maybe he even played around in the other blues for a while before heading back to the Grand Line. I say this because his crew is from all over so either he found and recruited them in the Grand Line or visited various blues. Either way, I'm gonna say it took him about two years before getting a 'proper' start. In that case, he would have started out properly at the age of 17 and we know One Piece likes it's parallels.

That still puts Shanks at 17 to Benn Beckmen's 28. How the fuck did Shanks manage that? I'd call it grave robbing, but let's face it, the little tyke probably got up to some actual robbing of graves as well.

My point being everytime Shanks teases Mihawk about keeping this 19 year old kid on his personal island, mostly shirtless, Benn Beckmen just lifts an eyebrow.

Excuse me, captain, who had prefected the 'opps still don't have my sea legs' trip-and-fall into their first mates lap by the age of 17?

Shanks: Beckmen, you caught me! *Shamelessly nuzzles up* Thank goodness! I could be a devil's fruit user after all and - Ahh!

Benn: *Drops Shanks straight over the side of the ship into the water*

Shanks: *Sputtering* What what that!?

Benn: Checking to see if you had eaten a devil's fruit on us, Capatin.

Benn: You didn't.

Smart ass. But he can't resist Shanks forever. Shanks will wear him down eventually.

Next time Mihawk tracks him down for another match - because you know he gets bored way quicker than he'll ever admit and Shanks is at least amusing a challenge - Shanks makes a big deal out of how Mihawk follows him around, "accidentally" revealing they slept together, sighing about how it's so hard to resist him.

Benn Beckmen is just leaning against the side of the ship, sipping his booze.

Shanks: -and I can't stay for hours like last time!!

Mihawk: Are you quite done?

Shanks: *whispering* Does Benn look jealous?

Mihawk: He looks bored. Much like I am. Is this some strange attempt to get out of my challenge, Akagami?

Shanks: What? No, come on I told you I was game. But, hey, could you do me a favor? Maybe like try and kiss me or something? Like take a swing like your going to hit me but then stop shot and grab me by the waist instead.

Mihawk: .... Trickery is beneath you. Besides, you're absolute rubbish at it.

Shanks: Oh, come on, I would totally help you get laid if you asked!

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* I want a proper match afterwards.

Mihawk: *In a forced, monotone voice* After this I will take you to my lair and have my way with you, Akagami.

Mihawk: ... My lair? Really?

Shanks: *Holding up cue card with quickly scribbled line* What? That is how you talk.

Mihawk: I can't believe I wasted precious hours of light tracking you to this atrociously rural port.

Shanks: See? Now, read the next one.

Benn: Captain? If this is going to take all night, I am going to go join the rest of the men in the tavern.

Shanks: Huh? Wait! Benn! What if Miha really stabs me this time!?

Benn: *Salutes Shanks with his bottle* Sounds like that is his plan captain. Have a good 'challenge'.

Shanks: What? No... *Reaching out hand, like he might die if Benn leaves, looking completely devastated* Not even a little jealous...

Mihawk: You couldn't have thought that pantomime would actually work.

Shanks: Benny, don't leave me.... *Turns to Mihawk, immediately brightening* Oh, well, there's always tomorrow. Hey, Miha, guess whose free all night and horny as a pirate in the calm belt?

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* Very well.

Mihawk might as well get something for the trip he made. Although, he's reconsidering if the sex was actually worth the trouble after he ends up listening to Shanks worry half the night that Benn is shacking up with someone else (after a couple hours of rough and raw fucking, admittedly).

Is it the hat? He likes his captain's hat. Miha, you think his captain's hat is sexy, don't you?

Mihawk: It's utterly ridiculous.

Shanks: ....

Shanks: ....

Shanks: *Smile* Ahh, Miha, I knew you liked the hat!

Shanks: What do you old Northerns find sexy?

Mihawk: I am only four years older than you.

Mihawk: And silence.

Trying to convince Mihawk to go spy on Beckman for him. Shanks doesn't actually care if he does sleep with someone else, it's more that Beckman didn't immediately turn angry and jealous like Buggy would have that has him paranoid.

Mihawk is going to fuck this annoying red head again just to shut him up.

Mihawk: Maybe he doesn't like red haired boys who don't know when to be quiet?

The next morning Shanks is pacing among his poor crew that's gotten stuck listening to Shanks obsess about Beckman again. IS IT REALLY THE HAIR!?

It's not even a matter of Shanks's age (or obvious immaturity). I mean, Beckman got on board and stayed, didn't he? Beckman just enjoys watching Shanks try so hard to get his attention. Like Benn's attention isn't constantly on Shanks. He had to when his captain is always one step away from disaster.

He only left him with Mihawk because it was clear Dracule is not a real danger to Beckman's captain.

Except maybe insulting him to death. But Beckman is pretty sure Shanks can handle it. He's met Buggy. He's suspects Shanks LIKES it if anything.

It gets to the point where when they dock somewhere and see Mihawk waiting, or come back to the ship and spot his familiar silhouette, most of the crew goes off somewhere for another drink (sometimes the newer kids will stay to watch such an awesome fight, everyone else is like... Look, you'll have plenty of opportunities later. This is not a one off.)

Benn just takes a look around, nods to Mihawk (a silent signal for, "he's all yours, do with him as you please, if anything happens to him I will track you down and make sure your last few hours on this blue world are as painful as humanly possible") and heads off.

Oh, it's just the Hawk boy.

That's fine then.

Benn use to be a sailor on a trade ship between the North, East, West and Grand Line. He's seen it all.

They called him The Gun Slinger BEFORE he joined Shanks's crew and became a pirate.

So this young, broke ass kid from the streets of some near artic northern island trying to pass himself off as a Lower North rich type has a thing for his captain? Not really enough to keep Beckman up at night, no matter how good at swords he's supposed to be

Besides, he's pretty sure for the kid to keep tracking down Shanks, he must be bored out of his skull. He's not going to do anything to endanger their captain.

Not if Shanks is the only thing he can find to keep him entertained.

One day, Mihawk is going to be waiting on the dock when a bunch of Red Haired pirates are stumbling home, laughing and chattering amongst themselves (Shanks's crew always seems to be in a good mood). One of them will catch sight if Mihawk and walk by with a smile, patting him on the shoulder.

The captain's occupied. Seems likely he'll be 'occupied' for a good while, too.

Mihawk won't smile, but he will think "So you finally warmed him up to you, Akagami?" and snort lightly.

Poor Benn, though. Mihawk could never imagine being with someone so much younger than him. Shanks is only four years his junior and already it strains Mihawk to put up with his occasional moments of "youthful whimsy" (aka being an annoying, immature child)

"A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair"

Mihawk just putting that on his Not To Do List.

That lasted until Roronoa.

(Mihawk just looking at Zoro knowing this is bad news.)

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

*Cross out, scribbles*

*Hands back to Benn*

Do Not Do:

- A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair a silly hat, who is overly dramatic and in any way, shape or form related to Gol D Rogers.

Ace: Hey what's up?

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

Go ahead, Benn, laugh it up. Mihawk is aware he has a type. Young, pretty, and utterly insane.

After that night where Shanks was otherwise 'occupied', it's over six months before Mihawk sees his friend his rival again. He is, as expected, far too smug and proud looking.

Shanks: Oh, Miha, so sorry you came all this way, I'm-

Benn: Well, I'm off, captain.

Shanks: What!? But we, you, I... Benn, hessoeexyarentyouworriedforyourcaptain?

Benn: *patting Mihawk on the shoulder* Have fun with him. Don't forget to return him by noon tomorrow, we have a schedule. Oh, but if you can babysit him for at least four hours? That would be great.

Shanks: BABYSIT!?

Mihawk: I suppose I can be troubled to do so.

Shanks: TROUBLED!?

Benn: Thanks, Hawkeyes. I owe you.

Shanks: *Fake tears clinging to his lashes* You two are so mean!

No, don't feel bad for him. Shanks is just trying to guilt the two of them into bed at the same time, and they both know it.

Thanks no thanks, they're not into that. But Shanks can be pretty cute when he's trying so hard (Benn) and at least he's not as boring as everything else in this world (Mihawk) so they allow him to keep up the act

Shanks: *looking at Zoro's wanted poster over Mihawk's shoulder* But I feel like you'd gladly go to bed with him and his captain if he asked. That doesn't seem fair to me. You'd never go that far with me and Benn.

Mihawk: *Eyes Benn*

Mihawk: *DEAD. ONLY.*

Mihawk: I have my reasons.

They can and do agree on plenty of things, including reciprocally not being that attracted to each other.

Shanks: Sounds fake to me

Shanks: But guys!

Shanks: This isn't about you

He's gonna need you guys to drop the egos and focus on what HE wants. I.E., being in the middle of two sexy Northern men.

Honestly, so mean to poor Shanks!