#Ace Representation

[turtlebot113]

Yeah, looking back this is definitely one of the biggest reasons I loved Protector of the Small so much as a kid - like, far and above literally anything else she wrote!

I absolutely could not have put into words at the time why I found Kel's romantic subplots so relatable and validating, but I did know that I couldn't find anything else like them pretty much anywhere in any media at all.

It's the kind of thing which...oh, how do I put this...challenges amatonormativity? In an indirect but still very powerful way? Even if it's not explicitly aromantic, or even intentionally aromantic, it has those very aromantic *vibes* which start to expose the cracks in the facade of a world where pursuing romance is treated like a moral imperative.

And hey, as of a couple years ago, Tamore Pierce herself actually did decide that Kel is CANONICALLY on the aro/ace spectrum! Not so much in a "Dumbledore is gay" kind of way, as much as "Well, her sexuality was always kind of nebulous and fluid, and after thinking about it a long time I think she came to identify more like this after the books ended." Source

Which means that it wasn't just a coincidence that this stuff was uper validating for me as a kid! The aro vibes were ALWAYS there, EVEN in the mind of the author, they just needed some time to formulate and discover the proper labels.

Shout out to Tamora Pierce specifically for making her lead female protagonist have a crush on a friend, not act on it, and eventually out-grow that crush and feel grateful that she never said anything.

There are so few stories that affirm choices like that, that admit that feelings don’t always last forever and that choosing not to pursue romance is actually a very valid choice. I love the Protector of the Small series for a lot of reasons, but this is a big one.

[tokaybox]

I strongly believe it's acephobic to bend ace characters into being allo, whether its a headcanon or fanfic. Whatever the case is, it's still erasure. People seem to be more willing to slide past it bc they don't treat asexuality seriously.

[bizarreaizen]

i will always dislike the stereotype that cisgender men are just beings who only think / care about sex, so my cis men out there who are asexual or just genuinely don't think sex is that important, you are seen and will always be valid :D /gen

[thecommunalfoolboy]

It’s crazy how many people just don’t understand why a lot of aro and or ace people don’t like that Alaster gets shipped. It’s not that hard to understand we don’t have a lot to let ourselves lose. I mean can you name 10 asexual characters? 5? Can you name two aro characters. There’s the guy from Archie who they made have a sex scene in a movie version. There’s a few books. I think a background character in Heartstopper? Do you see the theme here??? You’re all queer people, do you not get it? How it feels to have nothing? Is it so wrong to be upset that there’s finally an outwardly aroace person in popular media and instead of people embracing that they’re fighting on the internet about why it’s ok to ignore it? And I will never in my fucking life have anything against the people who are aro and or ace and portray him in THEIR experiences, even if it is a romance or sex favorable experience, but it is obvious that way too many of you guys are allo and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t even like him as a character that much, he isn’t even made by an aroace artist. The show isn’t even that fucking good, I just want to keep someone like me for once in my life. If there were a million other aroace characters I wouldn’t care, but it just hurts seeing erasure coming from my own community. It just sucks, man, I don’t know. It just sucks

[theranilord]

Ya know, my brother came out as Ace and good for him. I admit I used to wonder as a kid, but I'm glad he's figured himself out. People need to be able to figure themselves out and be respected for the outcome without questions about their journey.

I'm going to try to put my thoughts into some semblance of order, but will most likely fail. I have been thinking about this for a while. It's not a new viewpoint by any means and anyone is welcome to disagree of course, but as an asexual person, I was so happy with how Lower Decks approached the character of Billups.

By this I don't only mean the fact that he was never treated like a joke. That is, of course a big point in LD's favor: The situation in the S2 episode was funny, yes, but no one pointed and laughed at him, and no one (except his mother) insinuated that he was anything less than an accomplished officer. But what I liked the most was actually the fact that the episode refused to give a straightforward answer regarding his sexuality.

Tw for discussion of aphobia ahead

Let me give some context first. I was listening to the radio earlier today and in a lovely display of amatonormativity the punchline to a joke was, and I quote: "if someone reaches middle age and is still single, you should question it because something isn't right with them."

This was infuriating but so commonplace one can't really complain without being berated for it. "Lighten up, it's just a joke," but it isn't funny. Coming out as ace can quickly become an interrogation as to what prompted you to be this way. Why? Is it trauma? Were you in a bad relationship before? Is it hormonal? Are you really sure? You can so rarely just be, without having to deliver a presentation whenever the question comes up, all the while knowing you're most likely going to get a failing grade in the impromptu exam anyway.

Which brings me back to Billups and his limelight episode: ultimately, why he's a middle-aged virgin doesn't matter. The episode doesn't explain his exact reasoning beyond not wanting to inherit, and that is fine. Whether he's a sex-repulsed aroace man and that is what drove him to engineering, or an allosexual man who has chosen celibacy to pursue his goals shouldn't have to matter. It's his life, and there isn't a wrong way to live it, not when it comes to this.

And what we are told is that in the Federation, it truly doesn't matter. At no point is he asked to stop what he's doing in order to justify himself. He doesn't have to reassure Rutherford that he knows what he wants. He doesn't get a grudging pass only because he's ace, like we are some kind of weird, unknowable being: whether he has ever had sex or not and why is just irrelevant to the bonds he has made and the skills he has cultivated, as it should be today.

Hopefully we'll also get there, someday.

[poppletonink]

Asexual Books

Loveless by Alice Oseman

Sounds Fake But Okay by Sarah Costello and Kayla Kaszyca

Is Love The Answer? by Uta Isaki

City Of Strife by Claudie Arseneault

This Doesn't Mean Anything by Sarah Whaler

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning Of Sex by Angela Chen

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand

Vanilla by Billy Merrell

Paper Planes by Jennie Wood

Being Ace: An Anthology Of Queer, Trans, Femme, and Disabled Stories of Asexual Love and Connection by Various Authors

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann

Rick by Alex Gino

Wren Martin Ruins It All by Amanda DeWitt

Love, Ace & Monsters: An Ace Anthology by Various Authors

Summer Of Salt by Katrina Leno

[leikeliscomet]

Racism in the ace community is seen as a joke from the outside and a confusing concept in the inside but it's pretty bait tbh:

Barbie, Wednesday and Elsa are ace-coded but not canon aces but they're widely accepted as ace icons in the community. Lacking genitalia, disliking romance and being single are not inherently asexual yet the community happily claims them as ace solely on those reasons. But Selah Summers? Nah she actually didn't say the words "aroace" even though the director confirmed it so she didn't really count. Abbi Singh? Nah she had a girlfriend and her superpower is being a succubus and it's not like the Imperfects actually addressed the themes of an asexual lesbian South Asian woman and her sexuality or anything. Fei Hargreeves? Well yeah the actress and producer confirmed it but she never said it on screen. Ace characters of colour always get held "screened" for approval to be "real rep" in a way white aces aren't its so weird (this also happens to gay aces but that's another post)

Almost anything involving Yasmin Benoit. The reason she's unacceptable ace rep is because of misogynoir. She's spoken so many times about never dating and not having sex (which mind you is none of our business and she shouldn't need to explain herself in the 1st place) and yet she's "too sexual" to represent the community. Again with the nitpicking, popular white ace accounts were so quick to dogpile her for not-so-good takes but when she speaks about racism? Crickets. When she spoke about sexual harassment? Crickets and not only that but they defended her harasser. The main ace activists that defended her were other Black aspecs.

Not understanding how desexualisation affects POC. Specifically, Black women are excluded from representations of love and sex because we're seen as undesirable. It's common for TV/Film to pair up everyone but the Black girl, or have a rebound Black partner for the non-Black main character who's disposed of when they're ready for their "real" non-Black partner again. This isn't done for Black aspecs benefit. It's a form of dehumanisation. Friendship especially in m/f is needed but exclusively pushing for friendship between Black women and non-Black men when there is romance coded or confirmed and shaming Black women in fandom or in show for shipping the Black female character is not doing what you think its doing.

Not understanding how sexualisation effects POC. Again linking to Yasmin, POC, especially Black people have been sexualised due to white supremacy. The "allosexual privilege" framework fails to acknowledge this because Black people's sexual attraction and sex is seen as aggressive and animalistic. Black people aren't "allowed" to be ace because of this sexualisation and why Yasmin regardless of what she wears or does is seen is too promiscuous.

Not acknowledging ace POC as ace rep. Again, where was the acknowledgement of Selah and the Spades as groundbreaking rep? The first aroace darkskin Black girl as a lead in any film? Sherronda J Brown spoke about Big Mouth's Black ace character and someone said it didn't count just bc they dislike the show. Again with Abbi and Fei the community didn't make noise for them like they did Todd from Bojack Horseman or Florence from Sex Ed (mind you the gap between how they did Florence vs O is jarring in itself) Isaac from Heartstopper was inspirational for many aspecs and I wont take that away but the way he's instantly credited for ace representation when he has so little screentime compared to the others is wild.

Just tired tbh. "Listen to POC aces!" "POC aces are valid!" Prove it then...?

[starchilddante]

Every ace person NEEDS this freaking book

It has a dozen fiction stories with ace characters all over the spectrum and in so many genres. Im talking ghost stories, supernatural, drama, sci-fi, you name it. I've literally cried three times while reading it I feel so seen

This is the representation ace people need. In every category. We need full length novels dedicated to the ace experience because this would've SAVED me as a kid.

If you're on the aspec, this books is for you.

[black-ace-culture-is]

Black ace culture is wishing the ace community cared about Selah Summers being the first aromantic-asexual Black girl in TV/Film history

[aamellow]

WE LOVE ACE REP THAT ISN'T JUST ROBOTS ‼️‼️‼️

(I'm planning on making this a sticker!! )

[freesidexjunkie]

I appreciate a lot of parts of The Outer Worlds but one thing I really fucking love is Parvati

Talking to you about being asexual but yes she still wants a girlfriend. No sex isn't on her mind, that doesn't make her a child or emotionless even though people have told her it makes her "cold." She has plenty of love to give and that doesn't really connect to sex for her and I just. Thank you outer worlds I love you 🥺🥺

[angieblogging]

no one was gonna tell me Barbie is confirmed ace??

link to the full article!

[bizarreaizen]

religious conservatives: no sex before marriage !!

asexuals: okay

religious conservatives: wait no, not like that Σ(゜゜) /hj

[thecommunalfoolboy]

“College is about SEX and DRUGS and PARTIES” it’s been a month and the majority of people I’ve met have been asexual

[14th-century-verona-queer]

HEY GUYS SO GUESS WHAT ABOUT VIKTOR FROM ARCANE

HES CONFIRMED ACE!!

BOOYAH

ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US.

AND BEFORE SOME OF THE JAYVIK SHIPPERS GET ON MY FUCKING ASS; JUST BC YOU’RE ACE DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T EXPERIENCE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION. ACE DOES NOT EQUAL AROACE.

STOP INVALIDATING AROS, ACES, AND AROACES. WE’RE TIRED OF Y’ALL’S BULLSHIT.

i would also like to take this moment to remind everyone that asexuality is a spectrum. just because viktor is asexual doesn’t mean he’s 100% sex-averse. there are sex-favorable aces. but this also CAN mean he’s sex averse. both are equally likely and it doesn’t matter which one he is, he’s still asexual.

its a spectrum so PLEASE don’t whine to me about how now you cant write fanfic about jayvik smut now or smth. i frankly don’t wanna hear it. you can always write your own headcannons or write something ooc. nobody cares.

im just very happy that we’re getting some ace rep (esp cause viktor is one of my faves TALK TO A WALLLL) in more shows. lets start with some aro (JUST ARO. NOT AROACE. THEYRE STILL DIFFERENT) and also some aroace rep. and nonbinary rep! and so many other identities :)

im loving the progress tho

and hell yea viktor, come join our conquest of taking over Denmark and eat some garlic bread with us. you will prove to be an invaluable asset.

EDIT: I WAS NOT AWARE THAT LINKE WAS A HOMOPHOBE WHEN WRITING THIS. i think it’s super gross that he made viktor ace for the hell of it to try to dissuade jayvik shippers. like please bsfr 😭😭 that’s so gross oml. and just when we thought we actually got some ace rep, it’s just to cover up some stupid shit like this like omfg

thank you to everyone for making me aware of this, i quite genuinely live under a rock and i didn’t even know anything about Christian Linke!

also just wanna take the time to mention i’m not bashing yall for reading jayvik smut 😭😭 like do whatever tf you want man i don’t care

[theacecouple]

Desexualized & Asexual are 2 different things

Recently read a take that Isaac in Heartstopper is bad fat rep because "the only fat character was made asexual which is a negative stereotype" & I am BEGGING folks to understand that desexualized & asexual are 2 different things. Plus fat Aces exist & fatness is often used to invalidate asexuality.

We thought that Isaac was just OK for ace rep. We talked about our feelings at length on episode 32 & episode 98 of our podcast. All in all, we just didn't think that his character was anything new or groundbreaking, but with how often aces in real life hear "you're not asexual, you're just fat", it's such a shame that folks out there don't understand that fat aces have their own unique challenges and also deserve rep.

It feels like shockingly similar to when people get mad at Disabled Aces because "disabled people don't have sex" is a negative stereotype. Yes, disabled people are often DESEXUALIZED against their will, which is harmful, but that doesn't mean that some of them aren't ASEXUAL.

Aces come in every flavor, because we're real people. And real people deserve to see aspects of their experience reflected in media without someone else implying that their very existence is inherently harmful.