#Absurd Person Singular

[mariocki]

RIP Michael Gambon (19.10.1940 - 28.9.2023)

"Paul Schofield said something like, 'If I'm not acting in a play, I don't really exist.' Those weren't the exact words, but he meant it's only when I'm acting in a play that I've got something to say about the world. And then why should I talk, when people can come to see it?"

"Every part I play is just a variant of my own personality. No real character actor, of course, just me."

[read-marx-and-lenin]

Was it antifascist when the USSR only ever allowed less than 10% of the population to vote for the one candidate the dictatorship put forward for each role?

Why did you deactivate your last account? Were you upset that you looked so foolish? You don't look any less foolish creating multiple alternate accounts to send anon hate with. I don't even have anon asks turned off.

The Soviet Union had universal suffrage. Every voting-age adult was allowed to participate in the elections, besides felons and those who were incapable of voting due to mental disability. All ballots were secret (at least, after 1936. Oftentimes elections prior were done by show of hands, but this became problematic.)

If you are referring to the election of the Presidium or the appointment of the Premier by the elected representatives of the Supreme Soviet, I would consider that more democratic than the election of the President of the United States, since not only was the Presidium a council of multiple people in and of itself instead of one singular person at the head of the government, but the election of the Presidium was undertaken by representatives who were directly elected by the people, as opposed to the electors of the Electoral College in the United States who are appointed by party officials.

If you are referring to the election of the General Secretary of the Communist Party by Communist party members, then that position was not a governmental one. While the General Secretary did indeed have significant political influence due to their role as leader of the vanguard party, they were not a dictator and the position did not confer any state powers.

Not only were the Supreme Soviet and the Presidium composed of many different people who collectively decided upon state actions, many powers and duties were constitutionally delegated to regional councils and soviets. The federal government never held supreme power.

As for the idea that there was only "one candidate" for office during elections, the so-called "single-slate ticket" decried by the West, it betrays a fundamental misunderstanding about how communist politics works. Competitive tickets were not impossible, although party discipline prevented them from occurring at any high level. Rather, the single-slate ticket arose because prior to the printing of any ballots, there was a period of discussion to determine who would be the candidate in the first place. So it was not a case of people being told by the party "here is your candidate, now you must vote for them". The people and the party worked together to find candidates who had public support in the first place. In addition, not only could voters simply vote "no" and reject a candidate (and any candidate who did not receive a majority of "yes" votes would be rejected,) but all elected officials were subject to recall at any time if they were found to be deficient in their responsibilities by the electorate. Candidates were not forced on the Soviet people by faceless party bureaucrats.

If you want to know more, I recommend checking out "Soviet Democracy" by Pat Sloan (I should note that that particular work forms most of my knowledge on Soviet democracy, so take all of that with a grain of salt for anything past 1937 when the book was written) and pretty much anything written by Anne Louise Strong, although I would recommend "In North Korea", in particular Chapter 3 which goes into detail on pre-war DPRK elections and includes a very enlightening passage on how the North Korean voters at the time viewed single-slate tickets. Suffice it to say, they did not at all feel disenfranchised.

I can understand why you would be misinformed as to how the Soviet government worked. But to decry the Soviet Union as undemocratic, let alone fascistic, is absurd.

[mintoil]

idk why people were acting like louis was lying or projecting when he said armand was boring. he's an interesting character from a viewing perspective, but imagine that being the only person you're around all day everyday for 70 years. he has no job, no social life, no interests no hobbies, bro said "a vampire with hobbies, absurd", what else do you even have to do. pick up bird watching or something instead of telepathically listening to your boyfriend get piped across the city every other night. on top of that he throws a tantrum so bad he has to wipe your memory because you made one singular friend in 30 years oml.

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

okay, look, im not going to comment on what i think about the neil gaiman situation more than this. anything else i have to say has been said. i just have one singular comment:

THIS WASNT PREDICTABLE

i am seeing SO many posts stating that this shouldve been "obvious" that all of his nice fan interactions were just creepy or that he wanted an "army of adoring fans". that there were soo many signs and ALL of his actions had creepy motives.

its genuinely fucking ABSURD, because absolutely NONE OF YOU are working from reality when you say this.

we live in a reality where sometimes, people do genuinely terrible awful things. and then, they go on to do actually good things, really nice things. and its completely impossible to know they ever did those bad things until you are told.

and when i say this im NOT defending him. i think he is a shitty person, and his nicer actions dont save him. he did something very fucked up, even if some details turn out to be untrue.

BUT it is a harmful way to view situations where disturbing info comes out like this, where the second you learn a person did something fucked up you turn an "evil" switch in your brain, and you think EVERYTHING theyve ever done is evil or evil motivated.

because it either breeds paranoia in you, or worse, complacency. you either walk around trying to find the secret Creep in every famous person, or assume every famous person you like could neverr do something wrong because their actions arent full of the Creep.

you couldnt have known, and you NEED to stop saying you did.

[picothea]

Transgender men don't "have it easier" for getting babied or anything like that. Being infantilized and depicted as a helpless fool is disempowering and leaves one vulnerable to fatal exploitation. The enemy doesn't need to demonize you to make you suffer, they can still use violence to "correct" you once they've written you off as a "victim" who needs to be "shown the path".

Transphobia is a threat to us all. It doesn't target any singular type of transgender person. It will come for us all, one by one, and will not stop until the word "trans" is utterly erased from public knowledge, regardless of your sex or how you want to transition.

Why is this clarification necessary? It seems there are users who don't even think masculine trans people can be "targeted" by transphobia anymore. They think the real goal will always be transmisogyny, and the men are just a "tool" used by transphobes to achieve that goal.

How can you say that? Do you think the transphobes would turn around and shake hands with trans men if there weren't any more transfems in the world? Do you think their final goal is to leave anyone alive? This is absurd.

I am a trans woman, and I will never stand for the exclusion of transgender men. They are victims, just as us, and the transphobes are our mutual foe.

[nixoon-again]

This was a bad idea.

Sonic usually prides himself in his chill and easy going nature and his calm demeanour, it's not really that easy to get him riled up. He doesn't like being angry either, his love for freedom includes feeling free too — not burdened down with some infuriating people and their meaningless rants or whatever engaging acts they participate in and absolutely not any of it being given more than a second long stay in his mind, no. Sonic doesn't like that. He prefers to stay clear of such things as much as he can. 

If the bulging vein on his forehead has to say anything, unfortunately, this is not one of those situations where he can just up and leave.

No because he's stuck here, forced to sit around this stupid dinner table by the absurdity of the situation. Really, how did he even get here? Why did he let it get to this point? When has Sonic ever conformed to the groundless rules of a stupid village to solve a problem before? Why was this one any different? In fact, by all logical means, Sonic shouldn't even have bothered to ask these villagers for anything at all. He should've gotten the work done and over with, giving very little — which is none — thought to the customs and formalities of these absolute nutcases.

This is Westside Island after all.

He shouldn't have expected anything else from these guys.

Sonic knows very little of what these lunatics did to Tails in his earlier years and what he does know of it already makes him want to burn the entire village down. Right now? The urge is stronger than ever.

Today he has learnt a lot more about what exactly they did to his little brother than he has in the four years of knowing and raising Tails.

The only thing keeping Sonic from lashing out right now is his little brother's small hand resting on top of his own.

He doesn't know how Tails is keeping his composure right now because Chaos knows Sonic's ever-deepening scowl is going to become something these people are always going to associate him with. The kid is acting like the constant insults and accusations don't even affect him — which is, yeah, good! They shouldn't because they're meaningless lies hurled at his way by people who don't even possess a quarter of his IQ. But this is getting out of hand and Sonic doesn't know how long he can tell himself that these words don't matter because they're not aimed at him, they're aimed at his little brother.

His little brother who just so happens to be the smartest, kindest, bravest person in the whole world. His little brother that these people abandoned as a literal baby, starving and abusing him to the point Sonic still has damage left to undo after all these years. His little brother who he will not hear any foul words about.

Tails’ grip on his hand tightens.

He must've noticed the hedgehog's quills sharpening. The kit's signalling him to calm down.

Right… He can't let his anger overcome him now. Not after they're so close to finishing their job here and going back home, hopefully never having to even look in this place's general direction again. He can't forget the actual reason he agreed to talk with these people; to get information since the duo aren't allowed to investigate the situation freely as outsiders.

Fate must really hate Sonic though because it just so happens to be that the guy who can actually give them any valuable information is someone Sonic never thought he'd ever come face to face with in a million years.

Tails’ father.

(He cringes internally, oh how wrong it feels to refer to the man as his kid's father.)

The resemblance between father and son is uncanny; no matter how much Sonic tries to tell himself this guy is just another fox, he can never convince himself as such. Not when he has the same ocean blue eyes, sparkling with wisdom and tactic. The same shade of orange fur dissolves into dark browns and blacks at the tips of his ears and between his eyes. The way he talks, the way he sits, the way he moves and the way his singular tail swishes behind him gently. His voice, his manners, his accent, his tone — it's all Tails.

It's infuriating. 

It feels unsettling.

Because this man is so unlike his little brother that he feels uneasy under his gaze, that shade of soft blue doesn't deserve to hold such contempt and malice in it. His facial features resemble Tails’ so much and yet he scowls and sneers where the kit is always laughing and smiling — the man may be related to his little brother and his little brother may have gotten his appearance from the older fox but there's definitely a stark contrast between them. The difference between one's unforgiving cruelty and the other's mellow kindness is shocking when placed side by side.

“That's the most I can tell you at this hour,” the man says as if he's granted them great knowledge when barely any of what he just said was something other than an insult directed towards Tails, “I wish I could do more to help you but as the village's rules stand, there's very little I can allow you to do here when you've brought that thing along, Mr. Hedgehog.”

For whatever reason, people on Westside Island like to tell Sonic that they would've helped him as much as they can if it wasn't for the fact that he brought his partner with him. They're so adamant that everything would've been such a streamlined process if it was only Sonic asking to investigate the village. 

As if.

He knows talking back to the man would later have Tails scolding him but the temptation is too great to not jab at the nonchalant fox, “You know, maybe you wouldn't have all these problems suddenly spiking up if you didn't treat a literal child like some thing to be disposed of.”

“I believe you don't understand our history at all.” The guy has the audacity to sigh, “Treating a curse as a child is welcoming death with open arms. In fact, I believe all these problems are suddenly spiking up because you decided to bring that freak back here.”

And oh boy, that makes Sonic’s left eye twitch in a way that gives away the fact that he's about to throw hands.

He would've too, if it weren't for the sudden surprise of Tails standing up to his father.

“I'm not a freak…” His voice is small, but so so certain and it makes Sonic's heart swell with pride. A small smile graces the hedgehog's muzzle as he gives Tails’ hand a squeeze.

Unfortunately, the moment is short lived.

Because of course Tails’ father has something to shoot them down with again.

“And is that why your mother died, Miles? Is that how you're going to kill Sonic too?”

The room goes silent.

Sonic feels Tails' vice-like grip on his hand tightens to the point it must've hurt at those words. He can feel the kit's claws through his gloves, as he holds Sonic's hand like his life depends on it.

Instinctively, Sonic turns his head just enough to take a look at the younger boy sitting to his left.

Tails has his head hanging low, his bangs cast a shadow upon his eyes but Sonic still catches sight of big, fat tears rolling down his muzzle.

And that's it.

That's the final straw.

Sonic doesn't know what overcomes him next.

His mind goes blank for a moment as his body moves on its own, taking his hand away from Tails and putting his entire weight into his fist as his curled up hand connects with the older fox's jaw with such force it knocks him out of his chair, leaving him disgracefully sprawled on the wooden floor. A pained noise escapes the man as he crashes down with the chair he's been sitting on and oh, is it music to Sonic's ears.

The older fox holds his muzzle, his glove staining red as Sonic takes a slow and calculated step forward — a dangerous aura surrounds the hedgehog, emerald green glinting with so much hatred and ill intent that it sends shivers running down the man's spine.

Sonic raises his fist again and Chaos knows he wouldn't have let the fox scramble with just a few punches, he doubts the man could even get up on his own after what Sonic wants to do to him but fate seems to be in the fox's favour as Tails grabs Sonic's upper arm and effectively pulls him back.

“Sonic, stop it!” The kit still has tears in his eyes, his voice cracks a bit but he manages to mask it well in favour of stopping his older brother from possibly committing first degree murder.

Tails drags Sonic back to his side but the hedgehog still has his murderous glare fixated on the older fox who has barely managed to even sit back up on the floor.

“That's enough, we're leaving. Come on.” Tails speaks fast, his eyes dashing between Sonic and the door as takes a big step and tries to pull his older brother with him. Except Sonic doesn't budge, still glaring down at his father who has denied to match him with one of his own. Tails looks at the hedgehog, almost pleading if it weren't for his stern tone, “Sonic.”

The addressed hedgehog opens his mouth to say something, seemingly to the older mobian but decides against it when he feels Tails pull at his hand again.

Sonic lets out a huff, brows knitting.

He disregards his anger and frustration to listen to Tails — Tails wants to leave, he's clearly too uncomfortable in here for Sonic to be pulling these stunts.

“Let's go.” Sonic says, interlocking his fingers with Tails’ as they both leave the place.

Mr. Prower thinks things would've been better if Sonic didn't bring Tails with him? If it weren't for Tails, Sonic would've made sure Tails actually didn't have a father anymore.

[yeonboy]

𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ♡ choi yeonjun.

If you had known that a fun night out eating junk food with your best friend that you have always harbored a crush on would turn this sour because he misunderstood your words, you would have kept your mouth shut. Now Yeonjun has gone radio silent on you and if you want to salvage your friendship, you will have to get over your feelings first because he will never forgive you if he finds out. Right?

❧ choi yeonjun x f. reader | 16+ | college!au ♡ best friends to lovers!au ♡ angst ♡ humor ♡ fluff

❧ 7 k words

❧ warnings! inaccuracies wrt college sports/scouting/ice hockey, profanity, suggestive language, suggestive scenes, discussion and exhibition of puck bunny behavior, mentions of slut-shaming, misunderstandings, miscommunication, jealousy, some pining, yeonjun is stooooopiiiid, yn is also stooooopiiiid, one (1) singular heavy makeout sesh that gets a little out of hand hehe (:

❧ note! hi, world! this is a sideblog i created v v recently, but you won’t find links to my main anywhere bec i’ve decided to be a catfish on this one (: LOL jk, i just wanted a fresh start. i will be cutting back on the hoeing around i used to indulge in w my writing on that blog, and keep this place as sfw as i can - we’ll focus on tummy-aching angst instead! w a happy ending ofc bec ya girl is a softie 😔

leave me feedback if you like this! follow for more! (:

❧ masterlist | inbox ⁘

"Dude, this has gone so fucking soggy, it's like chewing leather. Please stop eating it."

Your words of disgust and grimace of distaste were, unsurprisingly, nothing to deter your best friend from munching on the cold fries he'd left for the last when he'd been too busy gobbling down his burgers. Stuffing a handful into his mouth like an actual ape, he in fact wiggles his eyebrows at you in a challenge.

"I feel like I've seen an orangutan eat exactly the way you just did, Choi Yeonjun. Please stop."

That makes him giggle and clear his mouth, finally raising his hands in surrender. "Kay, I give up. They do taste like leather."

"Not even gonna ask how you know that… But this is why you're supposed to have your fries with the burgers and not after it."

"But they mess up my palate!"

When he pouts like that, it's so hard for you to believe that he's the university’s senior ice hockey team’s ace, their Center, their captain, and that he’s looking to get scouted professionally, this year. When he pouts like that, he takes you back to the time you first met him on the first day of your high school, both clueless freshmen with wide, innocent eyes full of huge dreams about your future.

Dreams that you're both very, very close to making a reality, now – him as a professional hockey player, and you interning at the law firm of your dreams.

Damn. Time sure flies fast.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Yeonjun tilts his head and you blink away from your thoughts, averting your gaze from his to instead stare at his shitty, soggy fries.

“Yeah. Stupid. A lot of it.”

Yeonjun rolls his eyes and rips a tissue out of the dispenser on the table to dab around his mouth just in case, and that gives you room to breathe in and out and try to will away the heat you can feel in your cheeks.

See, now, the thing is – you don’t necessarily have romantic feelings for your platonic best friend of eight years. That’d just be absurd and kind of creepy. But you sure as heck have always harbored a crush on him.

It’s just impossible not to! 

Guy has always been literally the most gorgeous human being you’ve ever seen, even at the universally ugly age of fourteen. He’s a gentleman, always kind to every single person in his life, would probably cut a limb off for a friend in need, and ever since your sophomore year of college, he’s gotten into manically coloring his hair, which…is seriously injurious to the onlookers’ health because dear God, the dirty blonde of his hair with the dark roots peeking through from his middle part? Makes your heart literally pound.

And he isn’t even doing anything! Other than being gross with a tissue paper and inedible fries, which should absolutely turn you off from ever liking anything about him, but it does the opposite.

That is another thing about him – he’s too freaking smooth and sexy about every damn thing in his life. The day his hair turned from black to blue, nearly two years back, he developed all these flirty charms on top of his kind ones. Now he isn’t just an insanely handsome dude who’d hold your hand to help you cross the road, but he’d also freaking wink at you when you thank him for his kindness.

You as in a person, not – not you. He’d never wink at you, you're too friendzoned for that. And it's kind of a blessing because you’d probably run the risk of jumping back into oncoming traffic if he did.

Wow.

You can’t count on one hand the number of times you have had to tug on the reins of your heart when it’s tried to take a flight, jumping off the cliff of your very inconvenient crush and into the bottomless abyss of having actual romantic feelings for him. Because that would be catastrophic. And not just because you fear he'd reject you and you’d lose the one person who means the most to you in the world.

“Should I get more burgers?”

Your gaze snaps to him in surprise. He’s pouting again, this time looking at the greasy fingerprints laden menu card kept on your table. The anxiety that had started to churn in your stomach at the prospect of your very concerning crush turning into something more, suddenly leaves and you huff out a small laugh.

“You’ve had six in the past hour, Jjun. I’d say stop for the night, maybe?”

“Hey, I have a big appetite!” He scowls at you. “And it’s close to midnight, already! You know I begin my diet for the season from tomorrow!”

You groan. “Well, then, why did you ask?”

“To be encouraged, of course! To be comforted.” He widens his eyes and blinks at you. “Or did you forget I’m also supposed to be nursing a broken heart?”

The groan you release at that is loud, drawn out and filled with a year’s worth of exasperation. This is the other reason why you catching romantic feelings for him would be catastrophic. His emotional quotient is seriously questionable when it comes to the matters of heart. If he could love a partner half as much as he loves dogs, maybe he wouldn’t be ‘nursing a heartbreak’ because of the fifth person that has dumped him since your final year began. And you aren’t even done with your mid-sems yet.

But you don't tell him that, instead patting on his leather jacket clad forearm with a fake sympathetic expression. “Ah, yes, poor you. My deepest condolences to your heart.”

He knows you and your bullshit and you know he does, so the attack that his hands launch at your throat in the next two seconds doesn't surprise you, and your defensively raised shoulders don't surprise him.

You're both dissolving into giggles, then, having nothing short of a wrestling match across the small cafe table. "I really liked Lea, okay?"

"Oh yeah? You didn't even—oof, that tickles! You didn't even know she was Kai's sister!"

At that he lets go of you and slumps back in his seat with a scowl. "Please don't remind me. I still worry he's gonna stab me in my sleep someday…"

You place a palm over your mouth to stifle your laugh. "To be fair, Lea shouldn't have been indulging in puck bunny behavior if she didn't want to be treated like one."

"Don't say that wo~rd," Yeonjun whines with his whole head thrown back. "She's Kai's sister! And she's younger than me!"

"Just by four months! Stop being dramatic, Jjun. She's a junior at college – she knew what she was doing."

Yeonjun doesn't look convinced. "I mean… I don't think she was with me only because I'm hockey captain. She knows all of HK's friends personally."

You wonder why he is defending her. Did he actually, genuinely like the girl? Romantically? What are the odds of Yeonjun finally making an attempt to open his heart up to someone and them ending up dumping him? He doesn't really look that dumped, though, so you figure that this must be out of some misplaced protectiveness he feels for one of his best friend's sisters.

Man should've thought of that before he dated her. Sigh.

"Yeah, which makes it worse." You wince when he frowns. "Come on, Jjun. She's known you since middle school but decides to make a move now? Only to break it off in three weeks because others are 'slut-shaming' her”—you make air-quotes around the term, rolling your eyes—“when they call her out for wearing another guy's jersey in preseason when she's supposed to be dating you. Can't tell me that's not manipulative and experienced puck bunny behavior."

Yeonjun’s eyes are wide when you finish speaking. “What…?”

“She didn't have feelings for you, Jjun! I mean, you obviously didn't have any for her either, but I hope you keep it that way with these girls. I highly doubt Lea even tried to get to know you at all, given how busy she was posting pictures of y'all on all her socials." His expressions haven't changed much, so you try to conclude your point quickly. “All I'm saying is, it is actually a good thing you’ve never taken these relationships too seriously. There’s more business than emotion with these clout chasers, Jjun.”

Yeonjun is gaping at you now and you're a little confused as to how to take it. Is he surprised at the revelation about Lea? You doubt that to be the case when the entire tale of their romance had been broadcasted all over the campus this past week.

So then…is he surprised at your opinion of things? You sure hope he isn't about to pick a fight with you because you're in no mood to concede. Not about this. Not when you've died multiple deaths every minute that Lea has spent being a pick-me by your best friend's side.

"I… She did have feelings for me, Y/N. They—the girls that I date all have some feelings for me, come on." He gives a small chuckle that is so wry, it makes you fidget in discomfort. “I haven’t taken these relationships that casually. I'm – I’m not some vain playboy, sleeping my way around the college.”

Okay, hold on – what?

What?

How did he take that away from your rant? He's really defending himself when you never even attacked him? When you never would attack him?

"Yeonjun, no… That's not what I'm trying—"

"Let's – let's just drop this." He looks distressed, and the frown on his lips makes your heart hurt. More so because you are the one who put it there. "You won't get it, anyways."

Now that – gives you a pause. "I won't…get it?"

He gets up, unbothered and unabashed, and walks with his tray of empty wrappers and inedible fries to dump it into the trash can near the exit of the cafe. You wordlessly follow, tilting your head in an attempt to catch his eye, but Yeonjun's got some 5 inches on you so you can't really force him to look at you when he doesn't want to.

And now he's walking out of the cafeteria.

"Jjun?"

He sighs and stops, looking over his shoulder, straight into your eyes with a bored stare. "What?"

"What? You're, like, not even gonna explain that last sentence?" 

This time you're the one with the wry chuckle while Yeonjun fidgets in discomfort. 

"What won't I get, Yeonjun?"

"Look, it's… well. You’ve always subtly looked down upon all the girls I’ve dated in college, and that was fine. You’re my best friend, you’re allowed to be a critic.” He shrugs with a nonchalant look in his eyes, but his lips are still twisted sourly. “But… I never realized you thought I was the problem. Someone so vapid that my only appeal is the fame hockey gets me.”

No… literally when did you insinuate that?

You're rendered mute, taken aback by how badly Yeonjun seems to have interpreted your words. He exhales and it sounds very loaded. You don't miss the way he keeps avoiding your gaze; nor the disappointed frown that decorates his forehead.

“You won’t get it because you don’t want me, you’ve never wanted me – and that is absolutely cool! But just because you like to have me as a comedic relief character in your life doesn’t mean that no one sees any depth in me.”

“A… comedic relief character?” your voice comes out low and hoarse and almost tattered, a little shrilly from disbelief. You're not even gonna touch on his 'never wanted him' claim because the rest of his speech has your brain actually spinning. “What the hell are you talking about? This isn’t about you – it’s about these girls… You’re my best friend, Yeonjun!”

“And yet you can’t find one reason why these girls would like me beyond using me for clout.” He gives a shrug and finally meets your eyes again. But his stare is absolutely vacant and unreadable. “You don’t use me for clout, though, and yet you keep me around. You obviously don’t care about my opinions, or you wouldn't have exchanged numbers with Changbin when I told you he was bad news. What else is there to our friendship other than laughing together, then?”

His words are like death blows – each syllable laced with a different kind of poison. Every inhale you take from the air his words have contaminated seems to sear a painful path through your lungs. Breathing hurts. Looking at him hurts. Your eyes are filling up and your tummy is aching.

There’s so much wrong with everything he just said, so much misinterpretation, so many actual blatant untruths, that you don’t even know how to begin correcting them. 

How did you even get here?

You’d only been trying to warn him about girls that might use him. You were only trying to protect his heart.

How did that turn into him thinking you don’t value your friendship with him? That you don’t value him?

“Oh, and by the way,” he continues, pushing both hands into his leather jacket and looking into the distance, “Changbin’s probably gonna ask you to cheer for him this season, which is kind of a big deal because… you know, this out final session and there will be professional scouts present and all. So if you decide to say yes…” He pauses and turns to look at you again, gaze tired and eyes lidded. “If you say yes, I hope you know it’ll mean a lot more.”

Why is he bringing up Changbin again? You’d only exchanged numbers to get that guy's incessant ass off your back – you haven’t even responded to a single text he’s sent you in the past two months. Cheering for him? In a season as important to their careers as this one? 

Absolutely out of the question.

Does Yeonjun not know you at all?

You’re about to tell him that, when he suddenly pulls his phone out with a sigh. “I’m planning to hand my jersey over to Chaeyoung – you know, running for senior cheer captain? Thought I’d ask for your opinion, but… You’ve already made that pretty clear tonight.”

Angry tears blur your vision and your heart hurts as if it’s dying a slow death in your chest.

Chaeyoung, really? So he’s skipping seamlessly from Lea to Chaeyoung. 

Of course. 

Why did you even bother worrying about his heart when he clearly doesn’t even have one. How could you forget.

Maybe it’s a good thing you never let yourself fall for Yeonjun beyond a crush.

“For what it’s worth,” you finally manage to mutter, brows furrowed and gaze focused on your worn out sneakers, “I’m sorry. I was trying to look out for you, not – not hurt you. You’re the most important person in my life, Yeonjun. I could never hurt you.”

You don’t wanna wait around to hear his response, so you just wordlessly walk away. Your dorms are hardly half a mile from here; you can shut yourself in your room and sob into your pillow in less than twenty minutes from now.

The fact comforts you enough to make you walk faster.

And also helps you ignore the pain that runs across your entire body when Yeonjun doesn’t even attempt to stop you.

You haven’t checked your phone in a while now but it has to have been over six am currently because you can hear your roommate moving around. Stealthily, you pull the comforter down from your face to peer into the dark room, only to hear a loud sigh echo around the place.

“You’re seriously still up?” Yuqi’s disappointed voice calls out. “The crying sounds stopped sometime after four so I reckoned you fell asleep.”

You wince in guilt. “Fuck, Yuqi, I’m so sorry I kept you awake—”

“Woah, what?”

She turns the lights on, suddenly brightening the room. Your roommate’s dressed in her cheer outfit, probably on her way to early morning practice. She is running for captain as well and the voting concludes in five days.

Cheer captain… Chaeyoung…

You can feel another bout of tears coming on, the back of your raw eyes stinging anew. Your head is pounding like someone’s cracked your skull open, but it still doesn't hold a candle to the ache that originates from your heart and makes your entire chest cave in on itself.

“Oh my God, babe, you look worse than you sound!”

You click your tongue and rub at your eyes. “I… Ugh, it’s been a weird night, Yuqi.”

She kneels beside you on the floor, face drawn in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I will be.” You try to sit up with her help. “I guess?”

“Oh, babe…” Yuqi sits next to you and draws you in an embrace. “What happened?”

“Y–Yeonjun,” you can barely articulate his name before your throat closes up again.

“Ah, man. What’d the idiot do this time?”

Yuqi has been your roommate and your closest friend since freshman year. Needless to say, she knows all about your friendship with Yeonjun and more than a little about your crush on him. She believes he’s too oblivious and doesn’t particularly like him for that reason. More often than not, you’re batting for his defense against Yuqi.

Right now, though, you feel like you’re gonna agree with every colorful word she uses for the guy.

So you tell her exactly what happened – give her a play by play of all the words said and reactions given, receiving hisses and grunts of annoyance in response, until you mention what he said about Changbin and Yuqi breaks your narration with a gasp.

“What the fuck?”

You just sigh and shrug a shoulder. “And he’s picking Chaeyoung to to wear his jersey for the most important season of his life, so I guess it’s whatever.”

“You know, it seemed to me like he was upset and acted out defensively… which would have been okay to a certain point, a misunderstanding that could be cleared out – had he not pulled that Changbin card. Why would he ask you to go after a teammate?” Yuqi tugs at the end of her ponytail in frustration. “And Chaeyoung? Literally the enemy? Now he's just an asshole.”

That last bit makes a small chuckle tumble out of you. “How… how is she, though? As a person?”

It’s so stupid of you to still attempt to look out for Yeonjun when he just dismissed your whole friendship. But you cannot help it.

“She’s… not a bad person, to be honest. As much as it pains me to admit.” Yuqi sighs. “She’s friends with the entire cheer team, friendly with the players, never been a bully to anybody. Hence why she’s running for captain alongside me.”

Should that comfort you? You believe it should. You warned your best friend about girls that might try to use him – and Chaeyoung sounds like she might not be that kind of a person. That’s good news, right?

So why does your heart seem to ache even more?

“Everything just...hurts, Yuqi. So much.” You tip your head against her shoulder. “What do I do?”

“Admit to yourself that you don’t just have aa crush on Yeonjun, for starters?”

You turn to look at her with surprised wide eyes. “What?”

Yuqi just rolls her eyes. “Come on, Y/N. You can’t move on if you don’t admit to it first, can you?”

Move on…?

Is that what you have to do now? Maybe. 

If you want to attempt to salvage any bit of your bond with Yeonjun, it’s best if you at least get rid of the affection that permeates the boundaries of platonic friendship.

“And then maybe text Changbin back,” Yuqi continues. “He’s their goalie. I’ve talked to him a couple of times, he’s nice. Kinda cute? If nothing else, he'll help take your mind off of Yeonjun and Chaeyoung.

You just exhale a deep breath. “Maybe.”

16:37 | changbin (: congratulations to yuqi! tell her i knew she would make it :D

↪ Haha thanks! Will do!

soooo our first match’s three days away kinda wanted to ask u something before that meet me at the lockers after practice today lol?

↪ Oh it’s Monday already right? ↪ I’ll see you at the lockers, sure! ↪ How does around 7 sound?

perfect~~ just like your eyes >.<

“Ew, man, ewww…”

You press your phone to your chest with a gasp, turning to glare at Yuqi. “Hey! It’s rude to read over someone’s shoulder!”

“No, what’s ruder is you not telling me how cringey this guy is!” Yuqi is very close to rolling on the floor, and you really can’t blame her. 

You’ve been texting back and forth with this Changbin guy for over a week now. He’s definitely nice and definitely more than a little cute, Yuqi didn’t lie to you. 

But – the way this dude flirts? Good God. 

Cringe must be an understatement. You have permanent goosebumps at this point because of how often you experience full body shivers out of the absolute secondhand embarrassment he has made you live through, every single day.

On the other hand, there's been radio silence between you and… him. Your best friend. His name sends a painful pang through your chest, so you've been avoiding even thinking about him. And Changbin's been a great distraction on that front.

That is not to say it has helped any feelings to blossom in your heart for the guy. His sweet but cringey self is a friend, at best. Your heart…is obviously elsewhere.

Things became so much clearer once you let yourself think everything over without any pressure and pretense, and admit to what you feel for your best friend, like Yuqi suggested.

Turns out you were wrong, after all. You really haven't succeeded at managing to stop yourself from falling further than a harmless crush for Yeonjun, because this constant hurt that has made home in your chest ever since he stopped talking to you? The wave of gloom that overtakes you whenever you so much as think about him? Surely a lot more harmful than what a crush warrants and surely surpassing best friend territory; by a leap.

The next step was attempting to move on with the help of Changbin, but that clearly fell flat on its face.

Exhaling a tired breath, you send a blushing emoticon back to the guy, and wonder why you're responding to his flirting when you know you've already failed and this is gonna end in tragedy.

“He sends you congratulations for making captain, by the way," you inform Yuqi when she's finally stopped giggling.

“Aw, did he say that was cool? As cool as your hair, maybe?”

You just groan and roll your eyes. “I’m gonna go see him tonight. He’ll probably offer me his jersey…”

That sobers Yuqi up. “Oh. So it’s time, huh? What’re you gonna tell him?”

You give her a wry smile. “What do you think?”

Understanding flashes across her face as Yuqi pats your shoulder in comfort with a sympathetic smile. “Well… At least you tried, yeah?”

Yeah… and failed spectacularly.

And are now hopelessly in love and helplessly heartbroken.

The locker rooms are nearly empty when you get there by seven. According to Changbin's text, he'll be there in the next five minutes and you are to wait by the rows immediately opposite the entrance to the bathrooms.

For a men's locker, the place is fairly clean and pleasant smelling. 

You're in the middle of inhaling a chest full of some citrusy fragrance when the pitter-patter of a feet reaches you – and then abruptly stops. The small gasp that meets your ears before you've even fully turned around is enough for you to recognise him. 

Why're you bumping into him here of all places?

He's been a ghost around the campus, as absent from your shared classes and the cafeteria as he is from your inbox – your life. 

But here he shows up – to catch you waiting for a guy he's always warned you against and only told you to accept when he was mad at you.

You're beginning to regret this whole thing you began with Changbin even though you're here to end it tonight.

Swallowing, you swerve on your heels to come face to face with a freshly showered Yeonjun, dressed in a fluffy hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. Your heart hammers against your ribcage, head filling up with thoughts of burying yourself in his embrace. His hair isn't fully dried yet, with some of it sticking to his forehead, but…what draws your attention is how gaunt and tired his face looks. 

There are large purple bags beneath his eyes and permanent frown lines around his lips. You're willing to bet this is not all due to the season's stress, because the last time you saw Yeonjun with dark circles was when you came down with a bad flu in high school and were bedridden for a week. He stayed by your side the whole time, despite both your mothers warning him about catching the infection, and barely slept.

You know it's a little unfair of you to think this way when you're the one that hurt him first, even if unintentionally, but you can't help wondering whether Yeonjun would still care if you caught a flu now. Would he even bother checking up on you, now that he's made it clear that he believes you don't think much of him and your friendship.

Does he still value you and your bond, despite the conclusions he's drawn about your feelings?

"What are you… oh."

Those are his first words to you in over a week, and the absolute disappointment on his face kinda makes up for the lack of verbal cues.

Your fists tighten on your sides, hating the way his eyes fill up with nonchalance and the way his lips purse. Why's he acting like he doesn't care? He should care!

But at the same time, you don't want him to think of you even worse than he has been. So you clear your throat and try to explain, "I've… I'm gonna clear things out with Changbin. Tell him I'm not interested so that he doesn't – he doesn't hope for anything more."

Yeonjun raises an eyebrow up, setting his jaw and lowering his eyelids. "You're good at that, aren't you? Ensuring that people aren't living with false hopes?"

Hearing his voice after so long fills your heart up with an emotion you're probably too inarticulate to explain. But his words, as snidely delivered as they are, confuse you. "What…?"

Rolling his eyes as if explaining himself to you is a waste of time for him, Yeonjun waves a hand in dismissal. "Nothing at all. He'll be heartbroken, though. Was really counting on you cheering for him. Are you absolutely sure you're not interested?"

His patronizing tone is a little too much for you, and even the lower pitch of voice he's using – one that you have always secretly fawned over – isn't able to curb your frustration. "Yes, Yeonjun, I'm sure. He'll live, he'll find someone else." And because you're beginning to feel irritated and jealous, you add, "If his second choice isn't Chaeyoung, that is."

You see the way a vein pops in his forehead and a sense of satisfaction runs through you at having struck a nerve. "Oh, so you've got words to say about Chaeyoung too, then? I thought you'd let her pass because she's famous enough by herself. Cheer vice captain, and all."

He's throwing you bait to rile you up, you know that – but you can't help the fiery fury that overtakes your senses either way.

Stalking up to him, you push a finger against Yeonjun's chest and glare into his wide, surprised eyes. "If you really think she's interested in you for you, go ahead and date her. Don't goad me into giving an opinion when you won't even care about it."

He brings a large hand up to wrap around yours, holding it tight in obvious anger. "Like you care about mine?"

"I'm literally here to say no to Changbin, Jjun! What the hell is your problem?" you yell out, pushing at his chest with your free hand – but to no avail because he holds your other wrist with his other hand as well.

"My problem is that you're saying no because you think this is beneath you!" he yells back, leaning from his towering form to bring his face to the same level as yours. "You think my girlfriends, my lifestyle – everything's beneath you!"

Your mouth falls open in utter shock because once again – this was never about him! "Yeonjun – no! For the last time, no, I don't think that! I don't think you're vain or unlikable, or that anything you do is beneath me, I just – I just fear someone will break your heart if you're not careful!"

"Is that so? You're not judgemental of the girls I date? Didn't you call Lea a – a puck bunny?"

"I didn't mean it like that!" you scream back and lean towards him, leaving barely inches between both of your fuming, frowning faces. "I was just getting metaphorical and, hell, maybe I was jealous because you've never asked me to cheer for—fuck…"

Panicked, you pull away from Yeonjun's loosened grasp, looking away from his raised eyebrows and open mouth.

You did not mean to say that. Not like this, not now… maybe never.

Face heating up like a damn furnace, you stumble away from your frozen best friend in a hurry. If he thought you were sabotaging your friendship before, he's going to absolutely hate you for harboring feelings for him. It's a blatant breach of his trust.

Shit, you should've begun to distance yourself when you first felt the tender tendrils of affection for the cutest fourteen year old guy you'd ever seen. You shouldn't have let those feelings fester – you shouldn't have let them grown into this beast that now stands to swallow your years' long friendship.

Tears prick your eyes, but there's no time to mourn right now – you need to get back to your dorm and bury yourself beneath a pillow before that.

But you've barely made it to the gates to the locker room when a firm hand grips your upper arm from behind and twirls you around. Back pressing into the wall, a gasp is torn from your chest when Yeonjun's huge, twinkling eyes cage you in. His arms resting on the wall next to you are completely unnecessary; you'd stand still through an apocalypse if he pinned you with this gaze of his.

"What…what do you mean you were jealous I never asked you?" he breathlessly questions, literal stars sparkling through his dark irises at you.

Now. If you were not adept at reading your best friend like a book, maybe you would have wondered if coming clean right now would make his eyes brighter or dim them instead. Maybe you would have debated whether lying your way out of this situation and apologizing later would be a good idea. Maybe you would have ducked from under his arms and made a run for it.

But because you have known this boy for more than seven years now, have observed every single expression of happiness and excitement that his face is capable of producing, have admired how adorable hope and anticipation looks on him – because you've loved him since the time you could barely even understand what love meant…you have no reason to doubt.

"I mean I wanted you to ask me, Jjunie. I wanted to be the one that'd be by your side, wearing your jersey and cheering from the stands for you," your voice comes out as a hoarse whisper, but Yeonjun clings onto every single word, given the stutters you can hear in his breathing. "I… I wanted you to look at me when you scored, point at me and tell everyone around us that…"

Your gaze flickers down his face, running across his nose to land on his parted, plump pair of lips. They spread a little to allow an airy chuckle to pass, and then form a wispy, questioning: "That?"

He's moved incredibly close to you, nearly touching your foreheads together and leaving an inch of space between your mouths. You look up into his eyes and they are hooded, spilling happiness, adoration but also something sincere.

"That," you rasp quietly, slowly in the small space between you, "that I'm your girl."

Yeonjun's exhale of minty toothpaste breath washes over your face, forehead tipping over yours and nose sliding against yours. When he speaks next, his lips brush the corner of your mouth and your body grows taut like a bowstring, ready to snap at the barest flick of his hands.

"Are you my girl?"

His voice has gotten incredibly lower and guttural and you just bring your hands up to clench into the fabric of his hoodie to ground yourself. Your eyes slide shut against the intensity of his own, breaths coming shorter and faster.

"I'd – I'd like to be. If…you'd have me?"

"Of fuck, baby, don't you know you've always owned me?"

You barely get a moment to process the term of endearment and the acceptance, let alone the actual depth and true implication of his words, when the softest pairs of lips you have ever felt brush against yours. Tentatively, so lightly that they almost tickle. Gasping in an exhale, you part your eyelids to find Yeonjun looking at you through a similarly shuttered gaze.

"Can I kiss you?" 

Oh God, oh God, oh God—

“Yes, please.”

The words have barely exited you before Yeonjun is erasing any remaining space between you completely by pressing his mouth fully against yours. His lips feel even more softer than they look, molding against yours like a pair of clouds. Combined exhales of relief leave the two of you, breathing just as in sync as your bodies are. Your hands move from his jacket to run across his broad shoulders and your fingers wrap around the back of his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.

As if waiting for you to do just that, Yeojun guides both his hands to your waist, bringing you closer to him, before one of them detours to run past your waist and down your thigh to hook around your knee. His mouth opens against yours, then, teeth biting into the flesh of your bottom lip. With a shuddering gasp, you hold onto him tighter and allow him to lick into your mouth, lost in the taste and feel of him.

His hand grips onto your leg to lift it from the ground and wrap it around his thigh, allowing him to slot his hips against yours perfectly. You can feel yourself spiraling, unable to form coherent thoughts beyond the heady rush of electricity that zaps through you with every pull of Yeonjun's lips. When you begin to grow breathless, his lips detach from yours to slip down your chin and press against your throat.

A mixture of gasp and whine escapes you, making his grip on you tighten and his lips turn bolder in their exploration of your neck. You feel his teeth scraping over your collarbone and shivers run through you, causing your back to arch and press further into his body. He groans against your skin and runs his hand up your leg to caress the delicate skin of your thigh.

You realise this is getting kind of out of hand because you've just confessed your feelings and you're still in the damn locker room, but your eyes can't help but clench shut as your fingers tug on his silky soft hair, silently asking him to keep going. 

But Yeonjun is far more in control of the situation than you are, given the way he turns his kisses from hungry to chaste, slowly. Pressing a closed mouth peck to your cheek, he rearranges his grip on you to pick you up with his hands beneath your thighs, and carries you to a bench. He sits down and drapes your legs over his own to make you straddle him, holding you firmly but softly in place.

He plants a soft, sweet kiss to your lips and rests his forehead against yours. Your eyelids part to the blurry sight of his shining eyes. It takes you a moment to realise you have tears in your eyes – and that he does as well.

With the softest smile that you have ever seen on him, Yeonjun brings a thumb up to your face and flicks at the corner of your eye.

"I've liked you ever since high school, you know?"

Your lashes flutter in fascination. "Really? But you never… you always…"

His cheeks grow pink when you scrunch your nose up instead of finishing the sentence, and he shuts his eyes. "You just never really showed any interest… You never looked jealous or bothered by my love life."

"I was being a good friend!" You chuckle when he rolls his eyes. "Besides, I had plenty to say about the girls you dated?"

He tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear, still looking at you with a soft gaze, but his lips have twitched into a devastating smirk. "But you never said I could date you instead."

A blast of heat flushes your entire face at his words. Remember when you said he never flirted with you and you were grateful for that? Yeah, you still stand by that. Your heart's racing so fast, it's a wonder it hasn't malfunctioned yet. Yeonjun reads your face, too, and pecks your nose with a giggle .

"I'm so sorry it took me so long to figure it out, baby," he then whispers to you, sounding so forlorn that the sound of his voice, especially with that pet name, makes you wanna cry again. "I should've realized you were jealous…"

"I'm sorry, too, Jjun," you whisper back, hands coming up to play with the drawstrings of his hoodie that your eyes focus on as well, suddenly hesitant to meet his open gaze. "I wasn't careful about my words and hurt you. I was a bad friend."

He chuckles at that, which draws your eyes back to his own again. "To be honest, I was more hurt because your words made me conclude that you would never like me back. So you literally don't have to apologize at all."

A smile blooms on your face. "Can I kiss it better, then?"

"Oh, you can always kiss it better, baby." Teeth flashing and eyes squinting, Yeonjun nuzzles into your neck, full of giggles that you mirror as well.

Right then, a call of your name resounds across the locker rooms.

Wait…

Fuck.

Changbin!

Yeonjun's wide eyes look at you with questions. You just sigh and shrug your shoulders.

"Back here, Bin!"

"Bin?" Yeonjun raises an eyebrow with his eyes narrowed, making you stifle a giggle.

"Should I try Binnie, then?" 

He gasps in outrage, threatening to bite into your cheek, while you lean away to escape him, still suppressing your laughter.

Footsteps echo across the hall before a gasp is heard at the end of the aisle you're seated next to. Changbin stands rooted to his place, mouth agape and eyes wide. You've corrected yourself in your seat, but – your seat's still kinda Yeonjun's lap.

"I… um?"

You purse your lips in apology. "I'm sorry, Bin. I can't accept your jersey."

"I… can see that, I guess…"

To his credit, Changbin doesn't look a lot upset. Just very confused. You decide to try and help him.

"I can, however, get you Song Yuqi's number if you want?"

Instant fireworks explode in his eyes. "What? The – the cheer captain, Song Yuqi?"

"Mm hm. Cheer captain, my friend, my roommate. You know, the one."

"Wow, Y/N, that'd be so cool, man! Thank you!"

And then Changbin's hopping his way out of there without another word. Yeonjun breaks into laughter the moment he's out of sight.

"Poor guy kept asking me if it was okay to approach you and I kept saying we're just friends. He must be so confused, right now…"

You look at the boy who's still cradling you in his lap. "So. We're not just friends anymore, I hope."

He tightens his grip around your waist, eyes doing that thing where they switch from being rounded to suddenly narrowed and intense. "That depends. Do you kiss your just friends like that?"

You nudge his nose with your own, heart thumping at the intensity of his dark eyes and the reality of your changing dynamics with him. "Only the ones I intend to do more with."

Yeonjun's eyes widen in surprise and then narrow further with mischief. "Is that so, baby? Well, how about I take you to a nice dinner date tonight and then we can discuss what more can happen later, hm?"

"I'd like that very, very much." Swallowing past the lump of emotions that suddenly lodges in your throat, you bite your bottom lip and smile. 

He smiles back, but then brings a thumb up to tug your lip free. "Don't bite your lip, baby. You've got me to do that for you, now."

And then he kisses you again.

© yeonboy 2023 // do not steal, copy or repost. respect your local content creators, kaythanks.

[elbiotipo]

The US isn't a real country. There's 89 towns called Springfield, and another ten with the same name as each town in europe, the judges are allowed to make laws because their legal system is essentially the same as the one used by early medieval germanic chiefdoms, they insist on claiming to be a democracy even though they have an electoral college and only two parties (which are almost as old as the country itself), they're divided into a federation but are more regionally homogenous than Luxembourg, they make such an absurd incredible amount of drama and destruction worldwide over two singular office buildings getting attacked, it's ridiculous. We should ISOT them to the center of the sun so they leave us alone

Don't forget that they use driving licenses as IDs because they built their entire society around cars, they see guns as fashion and status items (though that might be in line with ancient and medieval cultures) and despite being one of the richest societies in history, almost all their cities are ugly and boring.

Also, Donald Trump is a real person instead of a cartoon of a capitalist that came to life.

Someone was very very drunk when they did the worldbuilding of the US.

[enarei]

"I have repeatedly and unequivocally condemned Hamas. I have repeatedly said that the 7 October attacks were unspeakable and horrific. Apparently, this is deemed insufficient. In the German context, the term Zivilisationsbruch (“breach of civilisation”) is used by scholars as a reference to the Shoah [the Holocaust]. In effect, the museum is arguing here that they can’t show my work because I have not acknowledged an equivalence between the Holocaust and the 7 October attacks. To demand that such an equivalence be pronounced, as a condition for exhibiting my work, is to effectively demand that I relativise the Holocaust. In order to comply, I would have to betray my fundamental understanding of the Shoah as a singular historical event. Need I point out the absurdity of Germans dictating to Jewish people how they should articulate their reactions to the heinous massacre of Jewish people at the hands of terrorists? What will come next? Will every Jewish person in this country be asked to retrospectively condemn the Shoah and unequivocally deny having empathy for the Nazi regime?"

"The notion that every progressive Jew in this country can be assumed to be harbouring antisemitism unless they publicly denounce Hamas is patently ridiculous. One is apparently guilty by default, until one declares oneself innocent. This reminds me of the post-9/11 climate, in which Arabs, Muslims and Sikhs who did not publicly condemn the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center were automatically suspected of condoning al-Qaida."

[greater-goober-metropolitan-area]

Can we just talk about how genius Gem's task was?

Due to the nature of secret life, it was taking very long for the reds to gain more members, with only one or two yellows dying per session. And after the death of three reds, this progression was essentially set back to before session four.

With just one red, who obviously cares more about gaining teammates than getting kills, it was unlikely that anyone else would die permanently for the next few sessions. This made it very possible that Secret Life could have lasted for well over 12 sessions, with few of them reaching the same standards of chaos as session 6.

Now that may seem like a dream for some fans, but I believe that for most, myself included, this would have made secret life go down as one of the most boring, anticlimactic life series.

Why did Gem's task prevent this all from happening? Here's the thing: it did three important things that may have saved secret life:

The first is that it made session 7 not only live up to, but surpass the chaos of session 6. In total, there were eight deaths in session 6, and fifteen in session 7. Of those fifteen deaths, ten were directly caused by Gem's task. That is more deaths from one singular task than from an entire session with four times the amount of reds as session 7.

This leads me into the second reason. This task created reds. As I mentioned earlier, it was likely going to take a while for secret life to just end naturally with red kills. The reds need to build up a team first before it is wise to knock anyone out of the series. Due to the low number of reds and the difficulty of killing, it was bound to take at least two, and very likely more sessions for the number of reds to reach a point on its own where it could start snowballing out of control. Gem's task took that entire process of building up reds, and did it all in just one session. Six yellows died in session 7. Six.

The third and final thing that this task did was severely limit the amount of regen that could happen in the session. How so? It presented two possible outcomes for the session:

Everyone (except Martyn) dies at least once, but gains ten hearts/items

At least one person (other than Martyn) stays alive, causing nearly everyone to die and fail their task.

In both possible outcomes, absurd amounts of hearts are lost, never to come back. And since the second outcome was what happened, it created a session in which everyone (except two people) died and nearly everyone failed their tasks.

Because of these three factors working in perfect harmony, one task was able to shorten Secret Life to what is likely to be a reasonable length, and create one of the best sessions of the Life Series, ever.

And that last part is, in my opinion, the biggest takeaway from this. Not only was it incredible series design, it was also just really fun to watch.

TL;DR: The task artificially shortened the life series to a reasonable length through three spectacular means, undoing session 6's prolonging of it twice over, and was overall just really fun to watch

[b4b3tte]

MAY THE BEST MAN WIN

꒰ ⊹ ˚ Summary — Erron black decides to test the waters by flirting with you in front of Kano, but with him having some slight possessive nature,, he cannot let that happen any further without going down with a challenge

Pairing — Erron!Black x GN!Reader! X Kano!Reader

Contains of — Flirting, Pet names, jealousy, slight possessiveness, semi-argumentative behavior

My note — i am officially going on a MK writing spree, hopefully you enjoy this!! If you like it and would like to see more dont be afraid to send in a part 2 request or an idea of what you want to happen next, reader can be female or male, I’m trying to make my works as inclusive as possible!! Enjoy, Besitos 💋

Part two

Kano couldn't believe his eyes as he watched Erron Black, a rival he had crossed paths with many times in the past, shamelessly flirting with you.

Erron constantly looking at you up and down flashing his charming smile trying his hardest to make you feel enchanted by him,

As Kano watched from Afar His jaw clenched, and a dangerous glint flashed in his eye.

You and Kano have had some tension between you two before, recently you guys almost shared a kiss 2 weeks ago on a mission on a military base but obviously went to shit as it was ruined when Sonya and Johnny made a surprise ambush with Cassie& the others BUT THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT ( lmk if u want a singular fic on that)

As Erron Black continued his charming advances, Kano decided he'd had enough. He swaggered over, his usual bravado on full display. "Well, well, what's goin' on here?" he sneered, casting a knowing glance at you.

Erron raised an eyebrow, not one to back down from a challenge. "Just havin' a friendly chat with your lovely friend here, Kano," he replied, his eyes locked with yours.

Of course Kano's response was a mixture of his characteristic sarcasm and intimidation. "Friendly, eh? Y'know, darling, this one here might be a good shot with his guns, but I'm the real danger."

Erron chuckled, his voice smooth as whiskey. "Well, now, Kano, I've heard about your dangerous streak, but I reckon we're all just tryin' to have a good time, aren’t we hun “ he says the last 3 words looking at you

You felt like a pawn in a bizarre showdown between these two strong personalities. Kano's actions were driven by his jealousy and possessive nature, but there was an underlying concern for your feelings.

Kano leaned in closer to you, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "You see, sweetheart, he might be good with a gun, but I've got a silver tongue to match."

Erron Black, undeterred, leaned in from the other side. "Now, sugar, you don't have to choose just yet. We can all have a little fun."

As the bickering went on and on it was extremely obvious Kano isn’t down for a good time and doesn’t like sharing what is his, as it continued, you couldn't help but find the absurdity of the situation amusing.

Kano's antics, while often misguided, were a testament to the depth of his affection for you and the way he tried to assert his presence, even in the face of competition from someone as charismatic as Erron Black.

Kano's grin widened as he locked eyes with Erron. "A competition, then? Winner gets a kiss from the lovely Y/n."

Erron smirked, accepting the challenge. "You're on, Kano. May the best man win."

In the end, Erron Black may have started the flirtatious banter, but Kano's presence was a bold reminder that you were a coveted individual, and he was willing to go to great lengths to make sure you knew it. The flirting contest, despite its chaotic and comical moments, was a testament to the unconventional dynamics at play.

My next post is Kano X Reader Semi-Flirty Introduction Dialogue!! Let me know if I should post immediately or wait until Saturday?! Otherwise thanks for reading!! Have a wonderful day and remember you are enough!! Besitos 💋💋

[soupthatistohot]

BSD: An Absurdist Analysis - Ch. 114.5

Fyodor: The Unkillable Devil

[BSD Absurdism Masterpost]

So, I was mostly correct in my speculations from last month's chapter! I'm really proud of this, though I will admit that my theory wasn't a complete match to what ended up happening

I assumed that Fyodor took on the guard's lifeforce, but it was Bram who he body-swapped with, which makes for a much for interesting (and higher stakes) situation.

Admittedly, this post is going to be a bit less analysis and more me sharing my thoughts and questions, because not much has changed from what I said last month: Fyodor being practically unkillable is the ultimate absurdity for him as a villain -- how do you defeat a literally immortal super genius?

It's just made even worse now by the fact that it is Bram's body who he's "subsuming." It puts considerable distance between himself (now in Japan) and Dazai (in France), who is the only human being capable of killing him due to his nullification. This is deeply ironic in that Dazai was so goddamn close to killing Fyodor, if only he had delivered the final blow himself, he would have succeeded. That's dramatic irony for ya!

The ultimate absurdity lies within the fact that Dazai was so close to victory the entire time; Fyodor was in genuine danger throughout the whole prison break thing (because either poison or Dazai could have actually killed him), but one lapse in judgement has now left Dazai relatively powerless.

There is also absurdity in the fact that Fukuawa, Fukuchi, Aya, and Teruko are basically incapable of stopping Fyodor not only from subsuming Bram's body, but from carrying out his plan with the tripolar singularity. They don't even have enough time to enact a last-ditch effort to stop him before he stabs Fukuchi.

Jumping back to the reveal of Fyodor's ability, this chapter has left me with some questions about Fyodor's plan:

Why allow Sigma to learn of this? I see no really good reason for why Fyodor didn't kill Sigma when given the chance. The only thing I can think of is that he wanted to distract Dazai, ultimately knowing that he would eventually go back for Sigma and try to figure out why he was passed out, killing some time. Still, this doesn't really make much sense to me, as killing Sigma would have done practically the same thing. Also, at that point, there's really no reason to distract Dazai, the deed has already been done. My only other idea is that he figured that once he was able to subsume Bram, it wouldn't matter if Dazai knew about his ability, so he allowed Sigma to obtain this information in order to let Dazai know of his loss. Still, this doesn't make any strategic sense in the way that keeping Dazai in the dark for as long as possible appears to be the optimal course of action.

Does Nikolai know about Fyodor's ability? If so, it would explain the usage of the poison in the prison break challenge, given that his ultimate goal is to kill Fyodor. It might also explain why he considers them to be "besties," because he's one of very few people who know the true nature of Fyodor's ability. This is complete speculation, though, as it could really go either way.

Did Fyodor know Chuuya was faking it the whole time? Because if not, I think Chuuya was his fallback plan. If he truly believed Chuuya to be a vampire controlled by Bram, then at any point he could have ordered him to kill him, but I think the only thing that stopped him from doing so was his desperation to have Dazai killed as the only person capable of actually taking his life. If he did indeed know Chuuya was just acting, though, I wonder if he had just thought far enough ahead to know how things would go and needed Chuuya to be present to get to that conclusion. I'm really curious as to how much of this plan was actual foresight and how much was improvisation.

As for the tripolar singularity... well I think we know where that leads, given that the anime gave us a little preview to future events.

I'll admit that the concept of the singularity is one of the things I least understand about the BSD lore/universe, but this certainly raises the stakes. I might be wrong about this, but aren't there theories that somehow Akutagawa and Atsushi's abilities combined are able to supersede singularities? In this way, they'd be the only hope against Tripolar Singularity Fukuchi (which I've got to assume works much like Arahabaki in that Fukuchi is not in control anymore).

We also now can now assume that Akutagawa (and assumedly anyone else who was turned into a vampire) becomes un-vampirified because Bram ceases to exist when Fyodor takes on his body, so this explains how we get to the above situation.

That's all I got for now! Please feel free to add to my analysis and discuss the questions I've asked, I love talking about this stuff with y'all! :)

Edit: Ok so of course almost immediately upon posting this I thought of more things to add in terms of how this all relates to absurdism. The concept of Fyodor being unable to die is not only absurd from the storytelling perspective of him being BSD's ultimate villain for so long, but also on a personal level for himself.

One of humanity's defining qualities is mortality -- the idea that we all die eventually, whether we like it or not. For Fyodor, this isn't true, though. His ability is a curse that traps him into living so long as people try to kill him. This further explains his ultimate motive of wanting to eliminate all abilities, probably because he recognizes many abilities to be curses and also that abilities have potential to be abused by those in power, whether for "right" or "wrong" reasons.

The irony in this is that Fyodor is doing just that, he has used his ability to remain alive far longer than he should have, and is thus able to carry out his plans. Yes, he believes what he is doing is for the good of humanity, but as the reader, we also know that this is not his decision to make. He has become the very thing he's trying to fight! This can be seen as Fyodor giving into the absurdity of reality, rather than actually rebelling against it, which makes him the antagonist to our absurdist protagonists, who refuse to give in and continue to push back against life's absurdities.

Fyodor's problem (and I think I talked about this in the chapter where he "died") is that he wants to control the absurd reality, but that is just not possible. You can't control meaninglessness, all you can do is not become a part of it, which Fyodor fails to do in his effort to not do so. It's a complete paradox.

Hopefully what I'm saying here makes sense, I am currently running on like five hours of sleep (which not a lot for me) and black tea lol

[serpentface]

What's the Wardi cultural take on Akoshos sleeping with/partnering with/marrying other Akoshos?

It's not highly regulated to a degree that there are overwhelming cultural norms about it. There's a lot of societal focus on akoshos being theoretically suitable sexual partners for both men and women due to being dual-gendered, but not to an extent that relationships with One Another are stigmatized.

They also largely get to escape from the most severe concerns about penetrator/penetrated power dynamics because they're not regarded as Men (they're regarded as dual-gendered, and they're a female social class on every practical level), there's no status of manhood to Lose by receiving sexual penetration. The only real thing you see in that department is people assuming that one acts as 'the man' and one acts as 'the woman', but this is largely due to preoccupation with a notion of sex being Penetration With A Penis (and that Penetration With A Penis means that one person is in a Man's Role and one person is in a Woman's Role). But this will not be regarded as unnatural as in same-gender male relations, akoshos will Have to take up a position in this sexual dichotomy if they want to have Real Sex (Penetration With A Penis) with each other, and this is not unnatural and doesn't involve gaining or losing status since they are simultaneously male and female, not men.

So like you might see individual culture critics finding stuff to nitpick about it as their annoyance of the week or a singular Guy here or there who thinks it's weird, but this isn't a widespread norm. The vast majority of people don't give a shit about akoshos having sex with each other. The worst thing you're likely to experience Solely by virtue of being in an akoshos-akoshos relationship is someone asking you (probably with genuine curiosity) which one does the man stuff and which one does the woman stuff.

Akoshos also don't experience Hard expectations for marriage (though there are societal pressures that make marriage an attractive safety net all the same, ESPECIALLY marriage to a man) so unofficial life-partnerships between akoshos are pretty much the Only same gender partnerships between unwed people that are going to go unquestioned. ((Sworn brotherhood is technically a same gender life partnership for men that is Functionally similar to marriage (in that it's a kin-making practice between unrelated adults), but the tradition is Built upon the assumption that both parties will be married to women and that a primary goal of this kinship is to provide security for both parties' wives and children)). Marriage obligations in general are more lax in the economically secure but not Wealthy lower mercantile classes (as obligations to support and perpetuate one's family are universal, but these obligations can be filled simply by having at least One son who can get hitched, and marriages in the lower classes have no political functions and therefore there's less reason to ensure All your children are wed (there's still incentives like dowry, but this is not desperately needed when a family is economically secure)). So akoshos in this class group tend to have a Lot more freedom in terms of their life arrangements and chosen partners (though still experience the limiting frameworks of structural misogyny in other capacities).

The only thing that is out of the picture is akoshos/akoshos marriage. Marriage in this society has a predominantly reproductive function, the concept of reproductively non-viable marriages is generally considered absurd. This is not JUST this culture's form of homophobia, as marriage is a very practical arrangement at its core - both in a reproductive capacity and as bedrock for the patriarchal blood-kinship family system that forms the core social unit. The idea of same gender marriage isn't just absurd because 'ewwww weird' it's like, that Cannot work within this system, it Cannot fill core functions of what a marriage intends to do here, the ways on which marriage and kinship are BUILT makes same gender marriage practically (rather than just socially) untenable.

The sole exception to the 'marriage = reproductively viable" rule is that akoshos can be married to men (which in practice is almost always as a remarriage after a man has secured At Least an heir). This has a Little bit of internal logic here in that they perform predominantly female social roles (thus are suited to being a wife, even if they can't bear children) (and also on practical levels of them having the same legal status as women) but it's really more of a 'this is just how it's always been' kind of thing. A lot of the older pre-Wardi identity dual-gender roles that got mashed together under the 'akoshos' name would have involved marriage to a man as a second wife/concubine, in addition to his primary wife who would bear his children. Men potentially having multiple spouses has not been retained as a cultural practice, but the notion that an akoshos Can be a wife to a man has survived into modern day legal and doctrinal practices around marriage.

So like this being said, marriage as it is legally defined is only between a man and a woman, a man and an akoshos, or a woman and an akoshos. In practice the latter two are comparatively VERY rare- a man/akoshos marriage cannot provide children (though an akoshos can practically fulfill all other obligations and duties of a wife), a woman/akoshos marriage Can provide children (and while akoshos cannot function as a male heir, these children Will take their akoshos-parent's family name (though the wife retains her father's family name)), but akoshos are legally grouped with women in terms of rights and privileges (including being permanently under legal domain of their father unless they have been legally handed off to a male husband) and Cannot provide hard power patriarchal support that this family system is built upon and therefore depends upon, which makes these marriages socio-economically insecure. They can obviously still be a good partner and parent, but this is not the same as having the Legal hard power of a patriarch.

Akoshos marrying each other would be reproductively and socially nonviable, and is treated as a similarly absurd concept to a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman. It's just not a part of the marriage and kinship framework, it's not a thing that you can Do.

[k9punkout]

If youre still doing the ask game Ivan and Sua!

I LOVE THESE TWO

Ivan:

1. Why I like them

i love ivan because he's unsolvable. there is literally no way for anyone to truly grasp how he thinks and feels. even the writers have admitted to not truly knowing what goes on in his head, and i find that so insane. to create a character so complex that it alludes the CREATOR HERSELF??? genius. i love it so much. there will never be enough thought put into his character because no one will ever reach a conclusion that will concisely and accurately describe Ivan. not even Ivan himself.

I also love the way he displays how people can develop when they really just have No One. throughout his entire life, ivan has always been alone. never an available support system, never a parental figure, never a place for him to vent his emotions. this lead to an absurd personality, and an insatiable desire for attention. when ivan loves someone, he craves their attention so desperately that he doesn't care whether it's gentle or violent. it's just so. GHHRHRHEHH

2 . Why I don't

probably for the same reason that i DO like him. because there's no true way to understand him, i always feel like im mischaracterizing him in some way whenever i talk about him or make content about him.

i also think it's very tragic how despite all the complex layers he has, ivan remains static in terms of development. he starts off with the same ideas and behaviors that he dies with, and he dies in a colorful burst of his own bottled up emotions, aggression and softness intermingling; mourning, rage, sadness, wanting, and joy all becoming one singular drive to do the things he did.

3. Favorite lyric

"you can break me apart"

4. Favorite frame/screenshot

the tears in his eyes, the drool on his lips, the sweat, the way he's hugging himself looking dazed. he's lost all of his composure. he's in shambles.

honorable mention to this one:

fake ass idgafer i SAW you yearning

5. Favorite outfit

probably his black sorrow one, simply because i really like the sparkly gloves

6. Favorite official art

his skin being a feverish and saturated hue to emphasize his mess of emotions, the way it looks like he's trying to hold himself together but the cracks just keep spreading... YEAH. I LOVE THESE PHOTOCARD ARTS BTW

7. Favorite canon fact

he views sua as a little sister ☹️

he's so desperate for a connection it hurts

8. Favorite straight-up-not-canon headcanon

ivan's favorite class is music interpretation and theory because he wants to better understand the music till makes.

9. Favorite song/cover

it used to be cure but black sorrow has been growing on me as of late. that PIANO.

10. Song I want them to cover

ivan and sua blink gone cover would go INSANE. if not that, ruler of my heart and ivan would sound so good.

Sua:

1. Why I like them

i like how distrustful she is. how she completely contradicts everything everyone believes about her--but solely when she's with mizi. to everyone else who isn't more observant towards her, she's just an ornament. a doll. closed off and pretty, meant to be looked at but never to love, never to be loved. and then mizi completely shatters that side of her, reaches in and grasps the emotional, fun-loving side of her, and suddenly she's bursting with life, as human and happy as it gets.

i also like how sensitive she is, despite trying her best to hide it. she cries easily. she gets mad easily. she gets insecure easily. she feels, she feels so much, and it's barely hidden beneath her disinterested persona.

2. Why I don't

theres nothing that i can think of that i don't like about sua. from her impact on the story to her personality to her design, it's all so cool. so for this part im just gonna name a fault in her morality that i love.

she hid from the truth by ensuring mizi never found out about it. she couldn't see a way out, so she found a way to ignore everything at the expense of mizi's happiness. she went into alnst knowing full well what it would do to her lover, even after ivan called her out for it, and died the happiest she could have been.

3. Favorite lyric

"you hug me tight as if nothing happened"

4. Favorite frame/screenshot

the way Nigeh had complete control of her before she met mizi. SUA MY GIRLLLLL

5. Favorite outfit

probably her doll-like dress she wore as a kid. no regard for her comfort or convenience, only the aesthetics matter. (reminds me of till's metal shoes in round 6)

6. Favorite official art

the dullness in her eyes i actually cant

honorable mention to this one:

angel baby ☹️☹️☹️

7. Favorite canon fact

she used a flower that mizi gave her as a bookmark and she was so fond of it and and and

8. Favorite straight-up-not-canon headcanon

she doesn't ACTUALLY hate till and ivan, she simply doesn't want to get closer to them because she knows they'd remind her of how bad the real world is. she'll see it in ivans false smile and cynical observations, in the purple bruises and green patches on tills body. she wants nothing to do with it.

9. Favorite song/cover

MIZISUA CURE LITERALLY GIVES ME CHILLS. KILLS ME SO BAD EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO IT. the love in sua's voice is just so. oh my god.

10. Song I want them to cover

the aforementioned ivan and sua blink gone cover will be real guys TRUST 🗣️🗣️

[velvetvexations]

The thing about the whole “do trans men know what it’s like to be women” thing is that I love the girl/young woman I was. I genuinely treasure and hold her in my heart for leading me to be the person I am now. I feel legitimate heart wrenching grief when people insist that I paper over her experiences with new explanations that are legible to a narrative that’s convenient to someone else. I philosophically don’t really conceive of myself as a singular continuous self at all, really. I wasn’t born a trans man. I was born a baby, then I was a girl-thing-creature, then I was a teenage girl, and a young woman and then one day I realized I would be happier as a man. These were all iterations of myself. Virginia Woolfs Orlando was really key to my understanding of androgyny and my gender identity and there’s this line in it about selves stacked on top of each other like plates piled on a waiters hand, and how these selves have their own wills and constitutions. I really love thinking about myself (selves?) that way. I feel sad that radical feminism demands us to put ourselves in boxes in order to bend the complexity of people to its dogma. I love trans men who feel like they were born trans boys and trans women who feel they were born trans boys, but my heart breaks for those of us who are pressured into killing off a version of ourselves we might really cherish. I think trans women might experience this pressure tenfold because loving the little boy they once were is seized as proof of violence and threat and that’s so unfair to me. Of course TERFs and TRFs will take my philosophy as evidence of my being a detransition risk but I think that’s absurd (or at least if I ever did it would be a retransition to me, and just another self to grow into while cherishing this one.) I hope this wasn’t wildly incoherent.

It wasn't incoherent at all, thank you for sharing. <3 Sometimes you've always you and sometimes you're a brand new person and who you thought was you was more like an honored ancestor.

[moved--naitfall]

Had he let his guard down? Before his presence, had he let his exhaustion show? His trusted Captain he'd be, the one Erwin could always rely on, support his weight, when his own was too much to bear. Concern shouldn't be part of their arrangement, signs of weakness interfering with their ability to efficiently work together as a team, when having dedicated themselves to serve humanity — to serve his dream. Truth was, days had passed since he last had slept, images of blood and gore, the sound of their desperate cries, having returned behind walls to hallways gone empty, keeping him awake at nights. Levi always had trouble sleeping, but his condition had gotten worse, even if only for a short while.

❝ If I'm not wrong, you got more important business to attend, than to babysit me. ❞ Maybe, he didn't understand what was like being on the receiving end of someone's concern. Maybe, it was easier if he didn't know. ❝ I'm fine. So get off me already. ❞ How cruel of him, being HUMAN when everyone believed him to be a devil. When everyone, Levi included, needed him to be a devil.

@naitfall liked for an Erwin starter.

A hand soon comes up and rests on the others back. His gaze soon looking down at the man who’s been at his side for so long. He looks tired, Erwin has to question if Levi is even sleeping these days but his hand soon runs up the smaller males back before resting on his shoulder.

“You look exhausted Levi. Have you been sleeping?”