#About the state of our world and how powerless most of us are in the face of it

[mysticcrownwolf]

I know with the state of the world right now everybody wants action for people to see, to hear, to act. But let me tell you all something it’s okay not engage with everything bad happening in the world it might even be better for you if you don’t. It the internet’s job to bring forward the worst that is happening in the world because putting it out there means their is a higher chance people will actually know about it and actual steps will be taken to change that but if all day everyday I open my social media a place of escapism for me because of how stressful my actual life is and then keep getting bombarded by how bad everything else is going on in this world it’s creates this nasty sense of existential dread for me that keeps me up at night. Now it’s ok if you want to help other people but this borderline threat about how anyone who ignore this issue is a horribly insensitive person isn’t the type of social justice I can get behind.

Taking the example of the Palestine genocide I can’t bring myself to even read all the atrocities done to them because I know the guilt of not being able to help these innocent people will eat me alive especially since the most I can do for them is repost news and information about Palestine on my blog and boycott most brands that support the genocide. I can’t even help them financially. Most I can do is live my normal life while always knowing in the back of my mind there is nothing I can do to help those less fortunate than me and that makes me feel awful. But what’s even worse is seeing those post about how if you aren’t watching and taking in all the suffering happening in gaza you are desensitising yourself to the genocide happening around you and what if I am what if I physically can’t function knowing innocent children are dying everyday what if I am just a teenager who have already seen the worst this world has to offer and can’t mentally or emotionally take anymore of it.

Another thing is the Tumblr war against transfem and as a She/They lesbian I should be at the forefront of the movement right. But I can’t my heart hurt so much for the atrocities committed against the transfem creator whose name I can’t even put in this post or it will just get removed but every fourth post on my feed was about how much transfems are mistreated in tumblr and I can’t bear seeing that anymore because I know I will just end up deleting my tumblr and the community I am starting build for myself if I start looking more into it because I already know that most of our world is controlled by selfish narcissistic who are the physical embodiment of evil but if I let that fact dictate my life I will doom myself to a hopeless existence.

There is a reason ignorance is considered bliss and sometimes it’s ok to look at all the evil going on in the world and just say no I don’t want to fight against every single bad thing going on in this world matter of fact I don’t even want to know about it because at the end of the day there will always be something bad happening around the world, always someone facing injustice and if you wish to help them fight against that it’s great but so is curating your feed to show the more positive and hopeful side of the world trust me you shouldn’t feel like our planet is doomed every time you check your socials, that is not you turning a blind eye to other peoples suffering its you acknowledging and accepting that you are human and you deserve to have a place of relaxation and happiness.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The far right grows through “disaster fantasies”

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/25/mall-ninja-prophecy/#mano-a-mano">https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/25/mall-ninja-prophecy/#mano-a-mano

The core of the prepper fantasy: "What if the world ended in the precise way that made me the most important person?" The ultra-rich fantasize about emerging from luxury bunkers with an army of mercs and thumbdrives full of bitcoin to a world in ruins that they restructure using their "leadership skills."

The ethnographer Rich Miller spent his career embedding with preppers, eventually writing the canonical book of the fantasies that power their obsessions, Dancing at Armageddon: Survivalism and Chaos in Modern Times:

https://www.press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/D/bo3637295.html

Miller recounts how the disasters that preppers prepare for are the disasters that will call upon their skills, like the water chemist who's devoted his life to preparing to help his community recover from a terrorist attack on its water supply; and who, when pressed, has no theory as to why any terrorist would stage such an attack:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/03/22/preppers-are-larpers/#preppers-unprepared

Prepping is what happens when you are consumed by the fantasy of a terrible omnicrisis that you can solve, personally. It's an individualistic fantasy, and that makes it inherently neoliberal. Neoliberalism's mind-zap is to convince us all that our only role in society is as an individual ("There is no such thing as society" – M. Thatcher). If we have a workplace problem, we must bargain with our bosses, and if we lose, our choices are to quit or eat shit. Under no circumstances should we solve labor disputes through a union, especially not one that wins strong legal protections for workers and then holds the government's feet to the fire.

Same with bad corporate conduct: getting ripped off? Caveat emptor! Vote with your wallet and take your business elsewhere. Elections are slow and politics are boring. But "vote with your wallet" turns retail therapy into a form of civics.

This individualistic approach to problem solving does useful work for powerful people, because it keeps the rest of us thoroughly powerless. Voting with your wallet is casting a ballot in a rigged election that's always won by the people with the thickest wallets, and statistically, that's never you. That's why the right is so obsessed with removing barriers to election spending: the wealthy can't win a one-person/one-vote election (to be in the 1% is to be outnumbered 99:1), but unlimited campaign spending lets the wealthy vote in real elections using their wallets, not just just ballots.

You can't recycle your way out of the climate emergency. Practically speaking, you can't even recycle. All those plastics you lovingly washed and sorted ended up in a landfill or floating in the ocean. Plastics recycling is a hoax perpetrated by the petrochemical industry, who knew all along that their products would never be recycled. These despoilers convinced us to view the systemic rot of corporate ecocide as an individual matter, chiding us about "littering" and exhorting us to sort our garbage:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/14/they-knew/#doing-it-again

We are bombarded by real problems that require urgent solutions that can only be resolved through collective action, which we are told is impossible. This is an objectively frightening state of affairs, and it makes people go nuts.

At the start of this century, in the weeks before 9/11, a message-board poster calling himself Gecko45 went Web 1.0 viral by earnestly bullshitting about his job as a mall security guard, doing battle with heavily armed gangs, human traffickers, and ravening monsters. Gecko45's posts were unhinged: he started out seeking advice for doubling up on body-armor to protect him while he deployed his smoke bombs and his partner assembled a high-powered rifle. Though Gecko45 was apparently sincere, he drew tongue-in-cheek replies from the other posters on GlockTalk, who soon dubbed him the "Mall Ninja":

https://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

The Mall Ninja professed to patrolling a suburban shopping mall while armed with 15 firearms as he carried out his duties as "Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas." His qualifications? Mastery "of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls."

The Mall Ninja's fantasy of a single brave individual, defending the sleepy populace from violent, armed mobs is instantly recognizable as an ancestor to today's right wing fantasy of America's cities as "no-go zones" filled with "open air drug markets," patrolled by MS-13 and antifa super-soldiers. And while the Mall Ninja drew derision – even from the kinds of people who hang out on a message board called "GlockTalk" – today, his brand of fantasy wins elections.

On Jacobin, Olly Haynes interviews the political writer Richard Seymour about this phenomenon:

https://jacobin.com/2024/11/disaster-nationalism-fantasies-far-right/

Seymour's latest book is Disaster Nationalism:The Downfall of Liberal Civilization, an exploration of the strange obsessions of the right with imaginary disasters in the midst of real ones:

https://www.versobooks.com/en-gb/products/3147-disaster-nationalism

You know these imaginary disasters: "FEMA death camps, 'great replacement theory,' the 'Great Reset,' fifteen-minute cities, 5G towers being beacons of mind control, and microchips installed in people through vaccines." As Seymour writes, these conspiracy fantasies are proliferated by authoritarian regimes and their supporters, especially as real disasters rage around them.

For example, during the Oregon wildfires, people who were threatened by blazing forests that hit 800'C refused to evacuate because they'd been convinced that the fires were set by antifa arsonists in a bid to "wipe out white conservative Christians." They barricaded themselves in their fire-threatened homes, brandishing guns and prepping for the antifa mob.

Seymour says that this "disaster nationalism" "processes disaster in a way that is actually quite enlivening." Confronted with the helplessness of a real disaster that can only be solved through the collective action you've been told is both impossible and a Communist plot, you retreat to an individualistic disaster fantasy that you can play an outsized role in. Every crisis – the climate emergency, poverty, a toxic environment – is replaced by "bad people" and you can go get them.

For authoritarian politicians, a world of bad people at the gates who can only be stopped by "the good guys" makes for great politics. It impels proto-fascist movements to electoral victories, all over the world: in the US, of course, but Seymour also analyzes this as the phenomenon behind the electoral victories of authoritarian ethno-nationalists in India, Israel, Brazil, and all over the world.

I find Seymour's analysis bracing and clarifying. It explains the right's tendency to obsess over the imaginary at the expense of the real. Think of conservatives' obsession with imaginary and hypothetical children, from Qanon's child trafficking conspiracies to the forced birth movement's fixation on "the unborn."

It's not just that these kids don't exist – it's that the right is either indifferent or actively hostile to real children. Qanon peaked at the same time as Trump's "kids in cages" family separation policy, which saw thousands of kids separated from their parents, many forever, as a deliberate policy.

The forced birth movement spent decades fighting to overturn Roe in the name of saving "the unborn" – even as its leaders were also overturning the Child Tax Credit, the most successful child poverty alleviation measure in American history. Actual children were left to sink into food insecurity and precarity, to be enlisted to work overnight shifts in meat-packing plants, to fall into homelessness – even as the movement celebrated the "culture of life" that would rescue hypothetical children.

Lifting kids out of poverty and building a world where parents can afford to raise as many children as they care to have is a collective endeavor. Firebombing abortion clinics or storming into a pizza parlor with an assault rifle is an individual rescue fantasy that escapes into the world.

Mall Ninja politics are winning.

[dontforgetukraine]

"I watched a film today at the Venice Film Festival titled "Russians at War." Since our film is in the same section as this one, I usually wouldn’t speak publicly about it. However, in this case, I cannot remain silent, because it’s not just about films and art, but about the lives of thousands of people who die in this war— a war that has instrumentalized propaganda as its weapon.

This film may mislead you into believing that it is an anti-war film, one that questions the current regime in Russia. However, what I witnessed is a prime example of pure Russian propaganda. Here’s why.

The filmmaker begins by expressing her surprise at the Russian invasion of Ukraine in 2022. In her film, she always uses the term “invasion” and never "full-scale invasion." She does not mention that Russia invaded Ukraine and annexed Crimea in 2014. These two events seem to not exist in the world of this film. The filmmaker also states that her country hasn’t participated in wars for many years and that she has only read about wars in books. Thus, the war in 2022 was a complete shock for her. It’s interesting how the filmmaker could overlook the fact that her country has been inherently involved in various wars and occupations for at least the last 30 years (1992-93 Transnistria, Abkhazian War, 1994-96 and 1999-2009 Chechen Wars, the 2008 war in Georgia, and the 2015-2022 invasion of Syria).

The filmmaker starts her narrative with a Ukrainian who now lives in Russia and fights on the Russian side. This is a very intriguing choice for the beginning of a story about Russians at war. Later, this character will claim that a CIVIL war began in Ukraine in 2014. He will also suggest that Ukrainians bombed the eastern parts of their own country (and this is why he moved to Russia). Another character will declare that Ukrainians are Nazis. We’ve heard these narratives before; they are (and apparently still are) widely and actively propagated by Russian media. One of those horns of propaganda is Russia Today channel, for which the director of "Russians at War" has previously made several documentary films.

Throughout the film, all characters express their confusion about their actions in Ukraine, stating they want the war to end and that most of them are fighting for money. In the final part of the film, the battalion is moved to Bakhmut, and most characters die in battle. We then see their comrades and relatives grieving at their graves. All of them repeat that they don’t understand why this war is happening and who needs it. In the end, the filmmaker concludes that these are poor, ordinary Russian people who are being manipulated into war by larger political games. I found this perspective amusing because the filmmaker—like putin and his regime—plays an interesting game with these people. They deny them the simple ability to possess dignity and to think and decide for themselves. To her, these people are merely powerless objects. If those engaged in a war that has lasted over 10 years were not powerless, it would imply that they, in the majority, actually support this war, wouldn’t it?

You will feel pity for the people depicted as dying in the film and for those we see crying for their loved ones. And you should—if you are a normal human being, you should feel pity, sadness, and emotion. However, it is also important to remember that these individuals joined the army that invaded an independent country, many of them willingly, as we learn from the film. You should also recall Bucha, Irpin, Mariupol, and the civilians who were murdered there. Remember the thousands of children who were illegally transported from Ukraine to Russia. While I’m writing this and while you’re reading it, missiles are striking Ukrainian cities. The buttons are pushed by ordinary Russians. Are their crimes any less significant simply because they claim to be unaware of why they are involved in this war?

By the way, the director asks one of the characters if he thinks the Russian army commits any war crimes. He answers “no,” claiming he hasn’t witnessed any war crimes. Interestingly, the director echoes this in her interviews, stating she saw no signs of war crimes during her time near the front (https://www.reuters.com/.../russian-soldiers-given-their.../). We can only be happy for her that she was fortunate enough not to witness any war crimes. Unfortunately, thousands of Ukrainians have not been so lucky.

I could continue, but I believe it’s enough to understand that this film presents a very distorted picture of reality, spreading false narratives (calling the Russian invasion and annexation of Crimea a civil war; suggesting that the Russian army does not commit any war crimes; presenting those who are part of the aggressors army as victims).

If you decide to watch it, I recommend following it with another documentary about Russian soldiers titled "Intercepted," directed by Oksana Karpovych. "Intercepted" also opens a door into the lives of ordinary Russians fighting in this war. You’ll be curious to explore it, as it will undoubtedly surprise you. You may also want to add "20 Days in Mariupol" to your viewing list, just to be able «to see through the fog of war," as the director of "Russians at War" so aptly put it."

—Darya Bassel, Ukrainian film producer of war documentary “Songs of Slow Burning Earth

[redgoldsparks]

Transphobia Makes Chest Binding More Dangerous

Chest binding, or wearing anything to flatten the chest in order to appear masculine or androgynous, is one of many ways that transmasculine and nonbinary people can affirm their gender identity and harmonize their physical presentation with their sense of self. Some people bind in order to “pass” as male at times when being visibly transgender could be dangerous. Others bind for the mental health benefits, documented across multiple studies, of being able to move through the world feeling at home in an authentic identity. But despite these life-changing benefits, anti-trans activists focus on the risks of binding, such as shortness of breath, skin abrasions, or shoulder pain, and seek to restrict the practice.

(read the rest of the article below the cut or here online)

Binding scares anti-trans activists because of its accessibility. Unlike hormones, binding requires no prescription; unlike state-ID changes, it requires no paperwork. Binding is often one of the first ways that trans and nonbinary youth who are assigned female at birth can flexibly, reversibly—sometimes quietly under their clothes and unbeknownst to anyone else—“try on” a new gender identity to see how it feels. This accessibility makes binding terrifying to those who want to eradicate trans people from public life. Their usual tricks are powerless to stop binding: there is no teacher they can gag, no librarian they can defund, no doctor they can criminalize to stop people from binding. Unless anti-trans zealots are willing to ban sports bras, bandages, tape, shapewear, or even swimsuits and tight shirts, there is no way to render binding completely inaccessible.

It is no surprise then that anti-trans activists hyperfocus on the health risks of binding, often misrepresenting studies on binding to inflate the physical risks of binding and ignoring the sometimes life-saving mental health benefits. We know because one of us (Sarah Peitzmeier) conducted most of those studies. Tired of seeing statistics from these research studies ripped out of context and weaponized against the very communities who participated in and supported the research, we began to discuss turning the findings from these studies into a book. Breathe: Journeys To Healthy Binding, is a resource for those who have questions and concerns about binding, and for those who already bind and want to do so in ways that maximize the mental health benefits and minimize the physical risk. We want to help people bind in ways that are affirming, yet gentle on the body.

Anti-trans activists who claim to be “protecting” people from the harms of binding by trying to restrict binding specifically and trans people more generally are in fact making binding more dangerous. In our research and lived experience, here are six ways we have seen transphobia make binding far more dangerous than it should be for trans and gender diverse people.

Legislative attacks on medically necessary healthcare

Binding is the only option left to mitigate chest dysphoria in states where best-practice medical care has been banned. Anti-trans bills blocking medical or surgical affirming care for trans youth have been passed in 24 states, with politicians inserting themselves between patients, families, and their doctors. Trans youth who go through puberty early without access to puberty blockers may have to manage severe chest dysphoria for a decade before they are even legally allowed to pursue top surgery, assuming they have the financial resources to access it. We know that receiving puberty blockers, compared to wanting puberty blockers but being unable to access them, is associated with 70% lower lifetime odds of suicidal ideation – so this is lifesaving care. It seems particularly cruel, then, for the same people who advocated for these laws denying healthcare to also attack binding. If anti-trans activists truly cared about the potential risks of binding for trans youth, they would not simultaneously advocate for bans on medically necessary care.

Marginalization in healthcare

Trans patients who do experience injuries or health issues from binding often don’t have access to knowledgeable and compassionate treatment. Even trans-affirming providers generally receive no training in how to counsel patients to reduce their risk around binding, as medical and nursing schools typically see trans-specific topics like binding as “specialty” topics. At worst, providers may be actively prejudiced against trans people. Laws against providing gender-affirming care in 24 states can be interpreted broadly and scare providers from offering any kind of care to trans adolescents or even adults. Binding-related medical issues are thus left to worsen without quality clinical care.

Binding can be necessary to navigate transphobic spaces

Being visibly trans can expose people to discrimination, and binding is sometimes the only way to safely move through a hostile world. It is still legal to discriminate against trans people in employment or housing in 30 states, and trans people are banned from using the restroom that matches their gender in 10 states. Some trans people may present as otherwise masculine but for the appearance of their unbound chest, which would “out” them as transgender. Until we live in a world where people can safely express a range of gender presentations without living in fear of assault or discrimination, binding is essentially the only option for many transmasculine people who need to “pass” for their own safety. These people may also have to keep binding for safety reasons regardless of any symptoms they may develop.

Concealing binding due to stigma increases the risks

The health risks from binding are increased by the need to conceal it. For instance, teens who are trying to conceal their binder from their parents often have trouble washing their binder regularly without their parents seeing it in the laundry. As a result, the dirt and sweat buildup on their unwashed binder predisposes them to skin complications. Without parental support, many teens cannot purchase a binder, which is typically ordered online with a credit card. Some of these teens resort to using ACE bandages, which are more readily available but far more dangerous because they are designed to compress inflammation. One 2020 study by researchers and clinicians at the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles found that teens with parents who opposed binding were almost twice as likely to have used ACE bandages to bind their chests. Teens with supportive parents had access to safer options.

Restricted access to information on safer binding that does exist

Because discussing gender identity is banned or restricted in schools in 14 states, trans and nonbinary people often struggle to access information about trans-specific issues such as binding. We have a growing evidence base and clinical expertise around how to reduce risk associated with binding—including taking one day off from binding each week, avoiding use of ACE bandages, and stretching muscles and ligaments that may be constricted by binding—but in an era of book bans and gag rules, many trans people have no way to learn these important tips. Instead, they may assume that binding is inherently painful and this is just the price they have to pay, which is unequivocally not true. We now know there are so many ways to make binding safer.

Unmet need for gender affirmation

When there is a gap between how people fundamentally see themselves and how the world sees them, they are more likely to engage in risky (but identity-affirming) behaviors to help close that gap. When trans people are chronically misgendered at work or school and are banned from medically affirming their gender, binding may be one of the only tools they have to affirm their gender. They will be more likely to ignore signs that their body is struggling with the side effects of binding, as they have nothing else to affirm them. Combine this with lack of information about how to bind more safely and lack of healthcare to address problems that emerge, and people can end up with serious binding-related symptoms.

Forty percent of trans adults in the U.S. have attempted suicide at some point in their lives. Binding can help people imagine a future for themselves that feels worth living. As one of our research participants said, “Binding gave me the freedom to exist.”

Many people successfully bind with minimal physical side effects even in today’s world. If every trans person who wanted to bind could do so with a properly fitting binder, while living day to day without fear violence for being visibly trans, all while having access to knowledgeable and affirming medical care (including puberty blockers or top surgery as desired and appropriate), binding could become safer for everyone.

It’s on all of us to create that world. We call on everyone to fight back against anti-trans legislation, disrupt anti-trans hostility, and to support the trans youth and adults in our communities as they become their most authentic selves.

By Maia Kobabe and Dr. Sarah Peitzmeier

May 8, 2024 7:00 AM EDT

Kobabe (e/eir/em) is author of the award-winning and bestselling memoir Gender Queer, the most challenged book in America for the last three years. Peitzmeier Ph.D., MSPH (she/her) is a social epidemiologist and assistant professor in the Department of Health Behavior and Biological Sciences at the University of Michigan. Kobabe and Peitzmeier are the authors of BREATHE: JOURNEYS TO HEALTHY BINDING, a graphic guide to chest binding with real-life stories and research-backed advice.

[darkcrowprincess]

Mike has a breakdown/ Mike goes off:

The last time Mike had a breakdown. He was 12, and the world was ending. The second time was no different. But everytime it happens, Mike is still surprised when the anger/sadness/powerlessness explodes out of him. It all comes spilling out in the worse way, like a shaken can of coke a cola exploding when you flip open the top. Lets set the scene. A empty office in the radio tower station, as Lucas and Mike wait for Will and Dustin. Mike and Lucas being the only two in the room. Mike has been on edge all day. Lucas is getting a little tired of it honestly. He knows you shouldn't go poking the angry bear known as Mike. But well, they have been avioding the obvious long enough.

"Its almost like you're afraid or something," Lucas says nonchalantly. Mostly to himself. But really to get a reaction out of the skinny, tall, brooding idiot he calls a best friend.

"What?" Mike asks confused. He turns to Lucas. Done with his staring match with the wall. Brings the seat he was leaning on it's back legs fully onto all fours again.

"You heard me, your scared of being with Will. Your terrified to love him. Or terrified to at least tell him." Lucas states matter of fact. No bullshit in his face or in his tone.

Seeing that he's serious, Micheal Wheeler's face goes through so many emotions in the span of seconds. Confused, realization, fear, acceptance, and then finally anger. Actually no anger isn't the right word.

Mike was in two words; pissed off.

"Fuck you. You know what Lucas fuck you.

Lucas doesn't get mad, "Well are you?"

"Im not talking about this!" Mike angrily whispers. Its the whispering that gets you. You can tell thats Mike's pissed because he hadn't started yelling yet. He's trying to hold it in.

"But are you? Are you scared? It will make you feel better if you talk about it Mike," Lucas declares with and honest, yet haunted look in his face. Unspoken between is whats obviously haunting Lucas.

Mike wants to cross that line and bring Max up to piss Lucas off. Get him to hate him and back off with this line of questioning.

But Mike thinks, he doesn't want to. Partly because he's just so sick of hurting his friends. But mostly because Mike is just tired. Tired of keeping it all in. So he pops open the soda.

Mike's pale face becomes red quickly in anger, "Of course I'm fucking scared! Im scared of losing him again!!

Mike yells this out into the room. Its loud and people could probably hear him.

Lucas though, oddly is in favor of the anger. For Mike to be honest, even if he is angry. Lucas feels like his best friend needs it. Seemingly wiser than his age suggests, "Mike your not going to lose him. You haven't lost Will. Will is still here."

"Yeah but for how long Lucas! How long huh? I couldn't handle losing him for a week when I was 12! 12 Lucas! He got lost from my house that day! My house! He was suppose to be safe! And he wasn't! I couldn't do anything! I was helpless! Then the next year with losing El, he was being possessed and hurt by that thing! He was hurt and everyone around us was dying! The best thing I could come up with was to burn up a hole in the ground! That was the best I could come up with to help him! I'm always useless! Every year its some new fucking disaster nightmare that could kill us all, but losing him in this mess is what terrifies me most. And your asking me to listen to my heart and get into a relationship with him. Tell him I love him and act like everything will turn out hunky dory, we'll be skipping off into the sunset, Will and I?! Are you out of your fucking mind Lucas!"

Mike is full on yelling now, and he seems to just be getting started.

Mike throws his hands in the air and starts pacing. Back in fourth like he needs to move.

"The whole town is this close to going crazy psycho mob on us, the upside down is leaking into our world. Plus you know homophobia is still a fucking thing in the 80s. And the cherry on top of all the piles of shit we are dealing with, Vecna wants Will.

Mike starts laughing in a cruel hysterical vocie, pulling his hair tight in his fists, still pacing. "Which is just another can of worms. That creep does not only want to kill my family personally, but he's making the moves on Will. Like no the universe can not let William Byers have a fucking break in this life! Lets add a homicidal pervert to the equation!"

"Mike calm done it will be ok." Lucas says, getting up and going to Mike.

That is the wrong thing to say.

"DONT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN LUCAS SINCLAIR! NONE OF THIS WILL BE FUCKING OK!!" Mike grabs something on the desk in anger. A paperweight. Turning to the window(behind him, no where near Lucas' vicinity) Mike throws the paperweight with all his strength towards the office window and breaks the glass. It makes hauntingly loud shattering noise. It echos loud in the room, and the glass from the impact falls out from the hole made with the round paper weight. Then the room is filled with silence and Mikes harsh breathing. His shoulder moves with his angry breathing, but doesn't turn around.

"Whats going on?" Says a soft familiar voice.

Both boys turn around, there standing in the open doorway is Will.

Mike turns back around, not wanting to make eye contact with Will. Not wanting anyone (especially Will) to see him like this. Mike just keeps staring out the broken window. In the reflection of the broken glass, if you look, you can see Mike Wheeler start to cry. Silent tears appear in his eyes.

Lucas tries to cover for him, " Nothing everything is-."

"Please don't say everything is fine Lucas. Mike shouldn't be yelling at you like that. Especially with everything going on." Says Will. But he isn't yelling. He says this with a tired but gentle look on his face. A look that he's only sending Mike's way.

Lucas is tired too. "I'm going to give you guys some space to talk."

Will nods as he fully walks into the room, heading towards Mike. Mike still hasn't turned around.

"Thanks Lucas, please shut the door too."

Lucas doesn't say anything. No point really, Mike and Will are in their own world. But he does as Will asked.

As he closes the door, he catches Will hugging Mike from behind. Mike leans into the touch as much as he can. Turns around (tears staining his face) and hugs Will fully.

*******

(God this took forever to write!!! But I'm so glad I finished. Would love to hera your opinions Byler shippers!)

[rovingotter]

Hollow

SPOILER WARNING FOR SCAVENGERS REIGN.

Many people have remarked on the parallels between Levi and Hollow. One is a human creation changed and given sentience by the planet, the other is a native of the planet altered by her experiences with a human. Both have a connection to Fiona: Levi because Fiona programmed them, Hollow because memories/visions of Fiona are the primary way she communicates with Kamen.

From the get-go, Levi is established as a character with agency. One of their first on-screen actions is to troll Azi by burying her wrench, and when Azi asks why, Levi replies, "I don't know. I was curious about how you'd react." Levi is bipedal and verbal, things we associate with humanity, so even setting aside their quirky behavior, we are already primed to see them as human-like, if kinda weird. Throughout the show Levi continues to perform autonomous actions, to be motivated by curiosity and wonder, and eventually to assert their own personhood, establish boundaries, and form a meaningful relationship with Azi. They have goals, they have motives, they have an arch. Before this, Levi was just a machine. They are uplifted by the planet.

Hollow, on the other hand, often comes across less as a character and more like a blank slate onto which the viewer is invited to project metaphors: metaphors about Kamen's psychological dysfunction/moral failings, metaphors about the corrupting influence of humans on the natural world, metaphors about avarice or addiction or any number of things, none of them good. Even the name (never spoken but present in subtitles) implies an empty vessel. In contrast to Levi, Hollow is non-verbal (she uses psychic projections to communicate, but has no voice of her own), small, and quadrupedal. We are primed to see her first and foremost as an animal: an innocent, living in (from our outsider human perspective, at least) harmony with nature. A little creepy, a little cute. But also a being lacking in any real self-awareness or moral agency. This, though, is presented as her ideal state. Her growing power and agency, throughout the narrative, is framed as a downgrade, as borrowed, inauthentic, and destructive...and is ultimately ripped away.

True, Hollow is given a bit of characterization when we first meet her. She is being bullied/intimidated by a larger member of her species, and she appears discouraged by this. But for the most part her motives and choices are either impenetrably alien or presented ambiguously. Maybe she decides to adopt Kamen as her thrall, despite his alien nature, because she feels frustrated and powerless and has decided to take a risk on something new...or perhaps even sees him as a kindred spirit, a fellow outcast. Or maybe she just happens across him and is reacting to her environment in the stimulus-response, amoral kind of way we associate with less complex animals.

All her choices after that feel similarly ambiguous. When Kamen first gives her fresh meat and she eats it, it feels like crossing a boundary. She's obviously an omnivore or she wouldn't be able to digest it, but this moment has an almost Original Sin type of vibe, Hollow the Adam of her planet and Kamen as her Eve offering the forbidden fruit...or is she just eating whatever her human puts in front of her, like a Golden Retriever? Does the blame lie with her "owner"?

From there it's a spiral. More and more meat, then experimenting with cannibalism, then becoming increasingly ruthless with her thrall as a means of pushing him to hunt larger prey. Is that her, or is that Kamen's greed and insecurity leaking into her? Is it both?

When Kamen remembers his wife's death and pleads with Hollow to take away the pain and she straight-up unbirths him and bids him sleep, is she doing this out of empathy for him, or is she (again) simply responding in a stimulus-response way to the alien emotions seeping into her? Her face gives few clues; a slight narrowing of the eyes, an implacable blankness.

And yet there are indications that her species has human or near-human intelligence. The ability to psychically manipulate a codependent thrall, to present him with narratives laden with emotional cues that push him to respond in certain ways, is a skill that feels ethically dubious by its nature and therefore linked with personhood. As humans, we are defined by our narratives, by our capacity to manipulate each other through them. She becomes the model of a person she has never met inside another person's head. Does it feel like writing a character?

And she does not merely pick and choose memories, she speaks through them. When Kamen is about to flee the safety of the cave and blunder out into a storm that will likely kill him, Hollow becomes Fiona and reminds him of the time he took the canoe out and nearly drowned. "Remember? You were so helpless," she says. Did Fiona ever speak those words to him? Is it like replaying a recording? Or is Hollow RPing her?

When Hollow found Fiona's corpse, what did she think? What did she feel?

In the end, Levi rips away Hollow's physical strength and power, reducing her to what she was before any of this happened. We are left to assume she will return to the forest, go back to her vegan diet and her pre-verbal ways: human notions of purity. The nobility of beasts.

But she looks back.

I don't think she's forgotten. I don't think Levi, the uplifted being who was so very afraid of losing the ways in which they had changed, would have made her forget.

[janebonbon]

Alright, Let's talk

I've had some time to digest everything about the election and hearing all the talk surrounding it. I was, and am devistated as to where things stand now for a Trump presidency. However... My gut tells me this is not over. Whether that means election fraud or tampering, boycotts and protests, or more legal trouble for the big orange. It's not over. Things are far too quiet, and we are in the eye before the storm. Notice how EXTREMELY quiet Trump is this time around. He hasn't been boasting and gloating and unsufferably hard to ignore. There is something going on, and I think he is very nervous.

However. That does not erase the threat of everything Trump stands for. If anything, this has shown us the threat in front of us. My family is Polish, I have grown up Polish. Why is that relavant? Talk about world war two was almost a constant growing up. Most people associate Poles with WW2 anyway, so I learned a lot. I learned a lot about facism, nazis, eugenics, and the psychology of complacancy that led to the holocaust.

Around 2016, at the fresh age of 14, my mother and I went to the Zekelman Holocaust Museum in Michigan. I urge you too look at or read about some of their exhibits here. This is where my mother and I were first able to completely face the fact of what Trump was doing. There was an exhibit showcasing the 10 stages of genocide. We are now currently at stage 7. Project 2024 has thrust us there. I worry deeply about what project 2024 has shown us. What that means for every single women, the LGBTQ+ community, our immigrant communities, our disabled communities.

Even if there is no internment camps like in the holocaust, I worry about escalations. I am terrified of history repeating. I refuse to be complacant in that, and I urge you not to be as well. I urge you to prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. Be proactive in measures for the future.

Especially if you are a woman, I am telling you to buy Plan B now. Travel state lines if you have to. Plan B has a shelf life of 4 years. If not for yourself, do it for a friend, family member, or someone you care about. Even if you are not sexually active, you never know what is going to happen or who might need it.

If you have any period tracking apps, they need to go NOW. Flood it with misinformation if you are able, change past entries before you delete it. Stick to putting that information to pen-and-paper where your data will not be taken by the government and used agaisnt you.

If you are able to, please apply for a passport or renew yours if you haven't already, the sooner the better. It can take a lot of time for them to get processed, so do this first. If you are financially unable to pay for a passport, you may be eligable to apply with a fee waiver. In case you feel unsafe and just want to leave the country for whatever reason may happen, I feel it is extremely important to have.

Download Signal. It has end-to-end encryption that will keep you and those same people you care about safe. I also suggest turning off notification previews even on apps like Signal, as I am told that they can be un-encrypted. If you value your privacy for conversations with your trusted people, you need to do it on something that is end-to-end encrypted.

If you are able and feel safe to, build a community network. Anyone you believe can be trusted, talk to them now about your fears and come up with a plan for worst-case scenerios. Reach out to others that have the same fears as you. Talk to your trusted friends and family members. You are not powerless. You have strength in numbers. If not to help you feel safety, but to give you hope and laughter in hard times. It does not and will not mean that the world is not dire, but you need to still stay sane.

Save important doccuments now. Not on pinterest or in a TikTok bookmark. Download. That. Shit. Don't have the computer space? Get a hard drive. A USB. Fuck it, a CD. Can't download important information? Write it down on physical paper. You have options. Even if it doesn't get taken offline, archiving and saving important things is extremely important anyway. Anything important to you, save. I am worried about books and important information being lost. Get physical copies if you are able. Find ways to download them in PDF or similar formats. Music? Save it. Maybe I'm being too wary, but you will have no idea what is going to go until they start doing it.

[alpaca-clouds]

Cyberpunk and Solarpunk

Someone wrote a comment in a retweet under my last post about solarpunk. About how maybe Cyberpunk is more suited to motivate us to work for a better future, than Solarpunk is. Because Cyberpunk can show us, how bad it can get, it can be a warning.

My issue is, that for the most part it isn't.

Now, don't get me wrong. I adore Cyberpunk. I basically grew up in Japanese Cyberpunk especially (which I like a lot more than Western Cyberpunk - but the reasons are to complex to discuss here). But I think for a plethora of reasons it does not work as a "warning".

Part of the reason is, that the dystopia of Cyberpunk is not that far away from reality anymore these days. Even in effective Cyberpunk, that really goes into the Late Stage Capitalism... It shows a stark divide between rich and poor, state violence, rule of coorporations, end of ecosystems. Yes, it is more heightened than our reality, but it is all that we see in our reality right now and... we are kinda getting used to it. We are getting used to all the horrible things happening right now, because we feel powerless and our minds do not know how else to deal with it. So they will just chuck it of as "normal".

The other reason, why I think, Cyberpunk fails, is, that it is objectively cool. And a lot of people, who consume Cyberpunk media, do not engage with the dystopia, but just with the power fantasy of being a cool street sam with a lot of awesome augmentations. They want Cyberpunk to be real, not to prevent it. Because to them, it is mostly a really darn cool aesthetic.

And a last reason is, that in the end Cyberpunk does not offer solutions. Half the point of the genre is a sort of hopelessness. In most Cyberpunk there is no big happy ending. The happy end is, that the characters get to survive. Maybe, just maybe, the characters manage to bring down one coorporation or at least one corrupt CEO. But the most the characters get, is, to survive and maybe kiss a love interest. The point of Cyberpunk is the hopelessness.

But you cannot build a better world from hopelessness.

Which is, why I see Solarpunk as so promising - and am at the same time afraid of it turning too much into an "aesthetics only" movement. Because Solarpunk at its core is about reclaiming optimism for the future. It is not (only) an art movement, but first and foremost a genre of both fiction and activism.

If you look into the Solarpunk Manifesto, you will find that, it is about optimism and rebellion against the current system. About the things, that we so desperately need right now.

It is supposed to offer those solutions, that Cyberpunk does not want to offer - or rather that Cyberpunk thinks are out of reach.

Because here is the thing about Solarpunk: Yes, it is Science Fiction, but a lot of the Science it presents is available today. If states were actually to invest in it, we could have clean energy by 2035. That is not unrealistic. Because the technology is here, we just need to use it.

Degrowth, which is another core tennent of Solarpunk, is also possible. And it does not need to mean "live bad", as so many publications try to make it out.

Building local communities, too, is possible. The reasons we lost local communities, is, that the current system we live under, does not want us to have those communities - because communities allow us to organize and retake our power.

Those tennents have been there in Solarpunk from the very beginning. And it is quite frankly frightening to see, how the movement gets kinda taken over by people, only being there for green aesthetics.

This is not meant to be escapism. At least not just that. It is supposed to be a root of activism.

[drdemonprince]

Loved the mini post about ABA!

Do you have any advice for what I could do to help Palestinians, practically speaking? Beyond a social media post.

My opinion is that while it's understandable for us to be asking that question, it's the wrong question. There is nothing than an individual person sitting halfway across the world with no immediate contact to the genocide can do.

I think it's because of our deeply individualistic, capitalistic, colonialist conditioning that we even believe that we could do something like that. I see so many people casting about for a way to resolve their feelings of anxiety and grief and to feel impactful in the face of such a cataclysmic event, and there is nothing at all wrong with the desire to make a difference, but I think that because we have been trained to see such matters in such personal terms that our way of responding to it ends up in practice being an elaborate blend of self-martyrdom and hubris that doesn't help anybody. speaking from my own tendencies that ive had to learn to root out here.

Part of the horror of this event that we have to grapple with is the incredible, uncontested power of nation-states, and how little impact any individual person has within the existing political system, and how much of that is by design. We are even barred for the most part from sending money directly to Palestinians because of the power that both nation states and credit card processors wield in our lives, and how consistently they oppose Palestinian liberation.

The things to do that I think matter are small, and will mostly enrich you and the people around you and help slowly build the social conditions that will make it possible for humans to break free of this state of being. Things like reading about the history of Palestine. Speaking with people around you about Palestine. Really deeply learning about nationalism, leftism, anarchism, critiques of nation states, communism, and the like. Nothing that can be incapsulated in a post. Nothing that will be finished in a day, a week, or even a year. Nothing that will make the horror of the present moment go away.

I think we need to actively push against the instinct in ourselves that this is a problem we can address in a post or a single donation or a call to a senator (who, let's be real, is deeply in the pocket of the Israel lobby and is also invested in America's military strategy that involves having a robust base in Israel and therefore will not listen). We can throw some money toward the humanitarian organizations that seem the least corrupt and the most likely to actually get some of that money in the hands of Palestinians, if we want, and offline we can take steps that cannot be posted about on here to slowly dismantle the authority of the state we are living under. But we are not going to fix this.

There is nothing that any one of us can personally do. We have to grieve. We have to accept how powerless we are so that we can envision and then work together to demand something better. Liberalism wants us constantly staying busy with small meaningless little attempts at feeling productive and virtuous.

But there is revolutionary power in just admitting to ourselves that we feel really fucking bad and that genocide is happening and that an entire history and culture is being erased. And we can do everything in our power to preserve that history. By reading, talking with others, sharing the stories of Palestinians, amplifying their calls, and following their lead.

I hope I dont sound too harsh here, I dont know you and I don't know your positionality related to all of this. so I am responding more to the general trend I have seen in how people handle this stuff and how brainwashed we have been to approach these massive death events as if they could be solved by us sharing the right infographics and calling the right people. We can't. And the only way we can move forward is by admitting to ourselves how unconscionable the entire political world is that facilitates things like this happening. There is no answer that will resolve the terrible feelings. There is nearly nothing we can do in the short term.

In the long term, we can be the kinds of people who understand why things like this happen, who know who our real enemies are, and who our comrades are, and we can work together to build the kind of massive fight necessary to topple something like this. If protests sound appealing to you, great. If starting a book club with your friends is feasible, that's wonderful. If all you can do is just self educate for an hour or two a week and then decompress, that's useful too. The most that you can do might be very little relatively speaking, and that's okay, none of us are the main character in this, and it's actually good for us to realize it. You will have to determine for yourself what you can to do bring yourself forward and better understand the present moment and the movement that we need. But you do have the ability to discern that. Just keep learning, keep building community, keep refining your vision of the desired future, and create room to grieve.

[vintageseawitch]

i'm tired of evil winning so much. it doesn't matter some good things could happen; evil will be there in no time to destroy any decent progress. i'm tired of being terrified i'll lose my rights. i'm tired of being powerless about this & not being able to help others across the globe who have already lost their rights. i'm tired of how useless the UN actually is. i'm tired of the US being a global superhero by being murderous bullies. i'm tired of fascism rising again. i'm tired of WWII being romanticized but now people think that little Austrian artist with the even smaller mustache had some good ideas actually. i'm tired of human rights violations happening & there are zero consequences for it. i'm tired that the majority of humanity as well as currently living flora & fauna will have to pay the price for the greediness of the few. i'm tired of always hearing about a countdown to when we can never reverse climate change while those who are actually the major problem - the US military, big oil, & others - are able to get away with this. i'm tired of the bloated military industrial complex. i'm tired of having less rights than literal corpses. i'm tired of useless CEOs. i'm tired of billionaires. i'm tired of people thinking billionaires are geniuses instead of actually greedy sociopaths who will happily pay you nothing if they could get away with it. i'm tired of people thinking our government wouldn't do that when they actually totally would & have already done it in some capacity. i'm tired of "voting for the lesser of two evils." i'm tired of old, out of touch people being in charge. i'm tired of people being proud of their willful ignorance. i'm tired of the white-washing of history. i'm tired of people not giving a fuck about the environment. i'm tired of people not being able to afford homes when there are more empty houses than there are homeless people. i'm tired of workers labor being exploited so they get paid a time while their bosses get a dollar. i'm tired of learning my generation & younger are the most educated but the most overworked. i'm tired of older generations who had so much handed to them want to make sure someone else doesn't get the same because lead poisoning have made them into sociopathic cowards who refuse to see the truth & will vote against their own interest just to fuck over people they fear & misunderstand. i'm tired of people claiming protesting against genocide means you're antisemitic & should be silenced. i'm tired of book banning/burning. i'm tired of xenophobia when so many of us are descended from illegal immigrants. i'm tired of men still getting upset over a hypothetical question instead of doing some self-reflection. i'm tired of the patriarchy, rampant misogyny, & toxic masculinity. i'm tired of men not thinking anger counts as an emotion. i'm tired of rapists getting away with their crimes because "what about their future" & "what was she wearing" when it's actually not about sex but power instead. i'm tired of "not all men" to silence legitimate points. i'm tired of people who make false claims of being raped not facing any consequences so it's harder for real victims to come forward. i'm tired of being so afraid of being assaulted & getting pregnant with my rapists baby that i took my state of fertility in my own hands because i'm afraid of my government even as my obgyn said not to worry. i'm tired of the christofascist movement that is gaining momentum. i'm tired of project 2025 being a real possibility & people claiming "they wouldn't do that." i'm tired of how openly fascist conservatives are now. i'm tired of people drinking that kool-aid so hard. i'm tired of the bootlicking. i'm tired of cops & their undeserved diplomatic immunity so they can literally commit murder & get away with it. i'm so. fucking. tired. this country is hell & has helped make the world hell. america has never been great. it's just super effective propaganda & brainwashing that has been wildly successful.

i just want hope that doesn't feel delusional. i don't want to give up but i'm so tired.

[niceandaccurategoodomensanalysis]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Swag Messiah (@lil.patison)

lil.patison on Instagram

Dealing with trauma in Good Omens: how the Fall affected Crowley

One of the most interesting aspects of the Good Omens series is the psychological characterisation of the leads.

Let us take a look at Crowley's development and how the traumas he has experienced have made him the demon he is today.

DISCLAIMER

This post is about painful experiences and the different ways you can react to them. This may affect you in particular and be difficult or stressful to deal with.

In order to illustrate the importance of the (little) physical contact between our two favourites, we first need to understand what is stirring inside them and preventing them from accepting the feelings they have for each other.

I want to talk about Crowley in particular.

We know his story: at the beginning of S2, we find him beaming and smiling, an angel about to launch the magnificent machine he helped design and is so proud of, a nebula, or as he calls it, "a star factory". Very different from the demon we came to know and love in S1, shadowy, lanky, perpetually worried and in a hurry.

In between, as we know, is his fall and 6000 years on Earth, with only the (occasional) company of Aziraphale and, more recently, his plants. Of the various unpleasant events that Crowley will experience, only a few can truly be called traumas, and they irreversibly change his personality and the way he reacts to his environment and the people around him (including our favourite angel). Let us therefore explain in detail what a trauma is, what types of trauma there are and what the consequences are for those who experience them.

WHAT IS TRAUMA?

In psychology, trauma is defined not as an event in itself, but as its consequence. The event that triggers it is called a traumatic event and has one characteristic above all others: it is strong, it is big, it is perceived as too big and too strong. Any event can potentially be a trauma. It is a stress of enormous severity, it surpasses all the experiences we go through in our daily lives, it makes us feel powerless, vulnerable, small, it often brings us suddenly into contact with death. The world is no longer the safe place it used to be.

VICTIMS OR BYSTANDERS

Trauma is not necessarily caused by an event we experience first hand, quite the opposite. Traumas are classified according to our degree of participation in the event that triggers them:

_episodes experienced in first person; _episodes experienced as a spectator at the time of the event; _episodes experienced as a bystander, but at a time after they happened (e.g. rescuer); _events that were not witnessed (e.g. we are told of the death of a loved one).

DEFENCE MECHANISMS

In response to a traumatic event, the mind tries to react and make sense of what has happened. This can lead to the experience of one or more symptoms, resulting in what is known as post-traumatic stress syndrome.

A person can relive the trauma, either mentally or physically, whenever an image, a memory, a smell can take them back there in their mind. These are called 'triggers' and can be completely unpredictable. This is why traumatised people sometimes abuse alcohol or other substances to numb themselves and escape these painful feelings.

People may not remember what really happened, or they may construct a different version of the facts. They experience many different feelings, including a sense of shame or responsibility, as if they are to blame for what has happened. Emotional dissociation and desensitisation may occur, where one feels nothing and feels empty, distant, cold, or on the contrary, outbursts of intense emotions such as anger may come out of nowhere, seemingly unjustified, but in fact due to the trauma still firmly rooted in the person. Panic attacks, violent and sudden, or a constant state of anxiety may occur during waking or sleeping hours, even leading to chronic insomnia. Often those who have experienced trauma live in a state of constant vigilance and worry, trying to regain a minimum of control over their environment. In order to prevent the unpleasant events from happening again, many people do everything they can to distance themselves from people or situations that might trigger them or even bring the trauma back.

However, once one manages to overcome trauma and build a new identity, one can also experience profound benefits: many children and young people who suffer trauma can learn to see the world through different eyes, developing deep empathy and an ability to understand the emotions and needs of others. A personal growth that might not have been possible otherwise.

CROWLEY'S TRAUMAS

Let us therefore go into the details of our series. On the basis of what we are shown, three potentially traumatic events can be identified for Crowley, and of these we as viewers directly witness only one.

Crowley is constantly worried about something and always has Plan B at his disposal. In his attempt to maintain control over his reality, he always runs for cover as soon as something is about to ruin the ‘fragile existence’ he has built for himself on Earth. This constant fear is the driving force behind the events of both seasons: the fear of the Apocalypse will lead him to devise a plan to stop it; the fear that Gabriel will give him trouble will lead him to suggest dumping him as far away from Soho as possible; the fear that Aziraphale will be erased from the Book of Life will bring him back to the bookstore to him and, in addition to giving us the epic apology dance scene, will prompt him to perform together with Aziraphale a ‘small, infinitesimal half-miracle’ to hide Gabriel from Heaven and Hell. In between, we are shown the habit of drinking inordinate amounts of alcohol in response to any unpleasant event. Crowley definitely drinks to forget.

THE FALL

When the series begins, Crowley has already fallen. We only know him as a demon, we only know his new name (which he later changes) and his non-anthropomorphic traits: he is the serpent who tempted Eve to eat the apple. In our eyes, Crowley is cynical, realistic, not very respectful of Aziraphale (he immediately begins to mock him because he no longer has with him the sword of fire that was given to him to protect the East Gate of the Garden of Eden), and very amused by his embarrassment. He also seems confident. But as soon as it starts to rain, the first rain ever to fall on Earth, Crowley immediately seeks shelter, finding it under Aziraphale's welcoming wing (note the very sweet parallel with S2E1, where it is he who shelters Aziraphale from the meteor shower).

When Crowley mentions the fall, he is always very vague about its causes: he mentions bad friendships, constant questions, a casual walk downstairs. Neil himself tells us that Crowley may not be the most reliable narrator when it comes to his fall. Crowley tries as hard as he can not to remember what happened, and every time the conversation turns to it, he deflects and changes the subject. At the beginning of S2 we learn of his discouragement at the ineffable grand plan and the fact that the nebula he was so proud of could be dismantled after only 6,000 years. The fall begins there, as doubt creeps into him and he begins to question everything he has always believed in. This is shown to us in the scene with the progressive greying of his wings (as confirmed by Neil himself). The fall, like many childhood traumas, is accompanied by a loss of innocence, and our dear Crowley goes from being a dreamy, enthusiastic creature with fluffy curls and sonorous squeaks to a gloomy, ragged, dirty creature with two big yellow eyes that he will always hide behind dark lenses. Accompanied by a straight dive into a pool of boiling sulphur.

Crowley does manage to come to terms with what he has been through: a thousand years after the Fall, we find him in a better state of mind, witness to the construction of Noah's Ark, indignant at the killing of innocent children and animals; a little while later, he is at the centre of a series of actions detrimental to Job, yet instead of simply carrying out all the orders he has been given (and with which he does not agree), he finds an excuse to avoid carrying them out. Crowley begins to react to what he has suffered and stops being a passive part of the situation: regaining a sense of control over events is the first step in building a new identity after the trauma.

THE TORTURE

Fast forward a few millennia and we are in 19th century Edinburgh. Crowley has just openly violated the demons' code of conduct by preventing a man from taking his own life. His pretence with laudanum is of no avail: suddenly the earth swallows him up and he disappears screaming. Aziraphale writes in his diary that he will not hear from him again for a while.

Again, we do not know what happens, but we can assume that our favourite demon suffers some harsh, presumably physical, punishment: torture.

All we know is that a few years later he meets Aziraphale and asks him to help him get 'a way out': some holy water. When the angel dismissively refuses, Crowley manages to get it himself, organising the theft in the church and thus coming into contact with a young Sergeant Shadwell, as we see in S2E3.

Again, our demon immediately tries to run for cover to avoid being found out in the open again. The rush to plan B is an expression of his constant fear, his feeling of being constantly under attack. Crowley can never let go, he can never let his guard down, because at the slightest misstep, punishment looms. He is unable to show himself for who he really is, a creature who, in spite of everything, is good and kind. The Fall has given him the opportunity to grow up and pay more attention to the world and those who live in it, in an attempt to take the focus off himself: Crowley knows exactly what Aziraphale likes and dislikes, and rushes to his aid when something is wrong. Crowley is able to put himself in the human's shoes and tries to spare them as much suffering and stress as possible. He is happy to help Maggie and Nina fall in love because, in his words, "she was crying and you needed saving". Out of his suffering has come a new personality, perhaps less cheerful, but certainly more empathetic and caring.

THE THREAT

The third traumatic event involves Crowley as an indirect party: when in the finale of S1, in the guise of Aziraphale, he is threatened with burning in hellfire and sees Gabriel's cruelty, he is angry and upset, so much so that he lashes out at Gabriel/Jim in S2, even though the latter has no memory and is completely unaware of what has happened. The power of this event lies in the fact that Crowley knows full well that it should have been Aziraphale who was threatened and abused, and he is literally there as a bystander.

Crowley is incapable of being truly cruel and mean, especially to those he knows to be as innocent and pure of heart as his beloved angel. When the cruelty of Aziraphale's superiors, their inability to feel compassion or to distinguish between right and wrong, is thrown in his face, Crowley reacts as he has learned to do, detached from the situation, losing interest in what is happening to him: he does not react when he is thrown out of his apartment, he simply sleeps in his car with his beloved plants; he lets the events roll over him and tries to let time pass; he pretends nothing has happened and licks his wounds. As soon as a threat looms on the horizon, however, he is ready to react: Crowley is ever vigilant, and apathy was only apparent.

More infos at:

Psychological trauma - Wikipedia Elevated empathy in adults following childhood trauma | PLOS ONE

Read this post on AO3

Subscribe to my series: The Nice and Accurate Good Omens Analysis and The Science behind Good Omens

Find me on Facebook

[acti-veg]

how do you mentally deal with the fact that society sucks, and will never be perfect? like no government will ever be perfect, they'll always be exploitation, etc. it's all so bleak

Honestly, I don’t think that society does suck in the sense you mean it. Sure, the government is terrible and so is capitalism, but that isn’t what society means to me. The most important society is the one I am surrounded by, it is my local community, local coffee shops, community groups, collectives, and even my wider online community.

‘Society’ in the macro sense is really just made up of smaller communities, and there is a lot to love about community. I think that corporations and the state work hard to keep us separate from our communities and focused on the big society, because there isn’t a great deal we can do about any of that. Locally though, you can choose to make a big difference if you want to.

No society will ever be perfect, such a thing does not exist. People will always exploit one another, the conditions of our society just makes that more or less widespread. What we need to fight for are better protections, better social welfare, better housing, better healthcare and stronger workers benefits and rights, which all make exploitation less likely. That only happens when we work for it at a local level, in our own communities in whatever small way we can.

It is easy to look at society on a larger scale and feel utterly powerless and disenfranchised, particularly as working class people. Instead, we can to focus on what we can control, and what we can do to make our little corner of the world at least little bit better than how it was before we got here.

[shifting---patterns]

Between Existence and Self-Destruction: In Search of Meaning and Action - An Essay

An individual state leading to a deep loss of meaning and a sense of the world's meaninglessness can be caused either by a series of fateful events leading to a strong sense of melancholy or by sudden insights into the insignificance of one's own existence while facing the universe's indifference.

In his 2000 essay "Melancholy and the Act", Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek explores the complex connections between melancholy and action in human psychology and the social context. He challenges the conventional idea of melancholy as a purely passive or paralyzing state, arguing instead for a more profound analysis of this emotional condition. Žižek claims that melancholy is a special form of pain and sadness, often considered a state of stagnation and powerlessness. Contrary to this common perception, he argues that melancholy contains an unrecognized potential for action.

According to Žižek, melancholy can be an internal catalyst that stimulates individuals to look beyond existing limits and norms, developing new perspectives. The crux of his argument lies in the idea that, paradoxically, melancholy involves a kind of activity. It can be a source of creativity, leading people to engage more deeply with their suffering and derive new insights and energy. This process can result in transformative actions, whether on a personal level through self-reflection and self-overcoming or on a societal level through the pursuit of change and innovation.

This realization can lead to a profound alienation from one's own existence, potentially extending to thoughts of suicide. It often arises from the incompatibility between expected outcomes or the meaning of life and the actual chaotic nature of existence. This discrepancy can cause deep uncertainty and frustrate the search for a concrete life purpose.

Romanian philosopher Emil Cioran often grappled with the question of whether life is worth living in his writings. The depressions and insomnia he suffered from an early age strongly influenced his first book, "On the Heights of Despair," published in 1934. Cioran was obsessed with the idea of suicide, critically engaging with it in his aphorisms and essays. He argued that contemplating suicide is necessary for leading a better life. By confronting suicide, we confront the profound suffering associated with existence. This humility enables us to change the deepest aspects of ourselves.

Simultaneously, it reminds us that our peculiar human ability to contemplate suicide elevates us above everything else in nature or heaven. Cioran believed that failure governs the world, similar to the capricious God of the Old Testament. Despite his pessimism, actual skepticism, and nihilism, Cioran remained joyous in a peculiar way. It is not a pessimism that can be traced back to simple origins, as individual origins themselves are questionable.Most people go about their daily routines without being aware of the profound absurdity and randomness of their lives. They live in a system of cause and effect that provides a certain predictability and security. These people rarely experience their lives as a tragedy.

French writer and philosopher Albert Camus notes that most human actions are based on a logical error that ultimately leads to a loss of meaning. This loss of meaning can lead to self-doubt and a deep sense of meaninglessness that weakens motivation for personal endeavors.

The idea of suicide as a response to the absurdity of life, however, is considered by Camus, in contrast to Cioran, as a surrender to the incomprehensibility of the world. He argues that a stronger and more authentic stance is to be aware of the absurdity of life and still choose to live. Suicide is seen as an admission of the inability to understand or endure life. Camus uses the metaphor of Sisyphus to illustrate how one can confront the absurdity of life. Sisyphus is condemned to roll a rock up the hill, only to see it roll down again repeatedly. Despite the apparent futility of this task and the absurdity of his existence, Sisyphus finds happiness and joy in this act. He rebels against the absurdity by despising it but simultaneously accepts it.

In the intricate web of existential musings we find a rich tapestry of perspectives on the human experience—ranging from the transformative potential within melancholy to the contemplation of suicide as a confrontation with life's inherent suffering, and finally, the defiant acceptance of the absurd. As we navigate this intellectual terrain, one overarching theme emerges: the profound beauty inherent in the struggle for meaning and the authentic experience of human existence.

Žižek urges us to reconsider melancholy not as a paralyzing force, but as a catalyst for innovation and societal change. Cioran's dark fascination with suicide invites us to confront the depths of our suffering, recognizing that in such confrontation lies the potential for profound transformation. In contrast, Camus advocates for a resilient defiance against the absurdity of life, finding joy in the very act of rebellion. Ultimately, these philosophical perspectives converge on a shared insight: that life's inherent absurdity need not lead to despair or resignation. Instead, the human spirit possesses the remarkable capacity to extract meaning from the seemingly chaotic and random nature of existence. In the daily struggle, in the pursuit of understanding and compassion, lies the essence of our shared humanity.

As we grapple with the existential questions posed by these philosophers, let us not merely dwell on the challenges and uncertainties but embrace the beauty of our collective journey. In the face of life's absurdities, we discover the resilience to persevere, the courage to confront our deepest fears, and the capacity to find solace in the shared human experience. The pursuit of meaning, in all its complexity, becomes a testament to the indomitable spirit that propels us forward, even in the shadow of existential uncertainty. In this view, it is crucial for people to continue living despite the absurdity of life and become aware of human conditions to develop compassion for the suffering of others.

Despite the apparent absurdity of life, beauty lies in the daily struggle and in the moments of genuine experience that human existence has to offer.

Davis Jahn

[reynita9]

I can’t stop thinking about how Cocomelon is damaging babies because the fast pace scene changes can “interfere with the development of executive functions”, and how thin parents are spread in capitalism that they rely on television to entertain/keep their babies company just so they have some time to complete domestic tasks. I am thinking about disintegrated Community Care/structure. I am thinking about how Instagram, Tiktok, Twitter, Tumblr, all media are engineered to be addictive and alter the executive functioning of kids, tweens, teens, and adults of all ages. How malleable our minds are..bread and circuses. Everything we consume has the power to heal or destroy us. I think about Congress Bill 686, and feel discouraged and powerless. You may have heard of it as “The TikTok Ban” of course, the media intentionally oversimplifies it as a ban on TikTok, but really it is the means for The State to restrict the sharing of information on the internet and to censor us, keep us misinformed and suppressed. The State knows that knowledge is power so they keep us intentionally in the dark and distracted, plucking away human rights one by one while we are watching the stage. The Restrict Act would require the Department of Commerce to “identify, deter, disrupt, prevent, prohibit, investigate, and mitigate transactions involving ICT products and services” 🤳🏼👁️ (ICT means Information and Communications Technology, ICT Products and services refers to social media) When COVID first hit, my friend said “this will be like 9/11, there was the world pre 9/11 and post 9/11” I am not one to believe we are “post-covid” because we are still in the grips of the Covidian information wars, which I feel will be one of the main long term take aways from The-Covid-Years. Bill 686 harms all, because any group of 1 million people organizing or sharing information online can be persecuted, banned and shut down under the guise of “prohibiting certain transactions between persons of the United States and foreign adversaries” Congress Bill 686 establishes both civil and criminal penalties for violations of the bill, meaning anything that they consider an “unacceptable risk to national security.” Please don’t forget we live in a police state which is meant to protect the empire. In The United States privacy is not sacrosanct, and actually American big brother corporations like Meta and Google are investing millions into anti-TikTok propaganda, because it clears their competition and allows them back into the palms of citizens, so they can personally be the ones to steal our time and data. It makes me angry, it’s painful. How can we organize against the faceless enemy? It’s all subversion and censorship, anything to get the undiluted power to be placed back into the hands of an American corporation. It will always be The State, Corporations, and Colleges keeping information tucked away and inaccessible to the masses. We must do what we can to preserve the internet as a place of free information sharing and connection. The infrastructure of our communities in real life are generally weak. Weekly I hit a paywall online, and I have seen my own words be instantaneously given an AI generated COVID misinformation banner before. It’s insane, and most people are not comfortable admitting out loud that we are alive during fascism. What’s funny in a way is, I have long hated TikTok, but now that it risks being banned in this “land of the free” I find myself urgently realizing how important it is to preserve and protect.. It is on the individual to use the internet wisely and with boundaries, not the state to restrict people’s access to information. Privacy is important and data-preservation is important, obviously, but if this is what 686 was truly about, we would be having different conversations. All legislation is created to build a precedent.

[c-optimistic]

For months now, I’ve watched in horror as posts about genocide and stopping a war have stopped and turned into talking points for the election. ‘Vote blue no matter who’ I see plastered everywhere, as though this messaging is anything but a fresh coat of paint over a rotten and dirty and collapsing structure, unable to hide the stench or the oozing of the blood of those who suffer every single day under the policies enacted by the current administration.

I don’t particularly care who any of you vote for. And I’m happy to reassure you I live in a red state where my vote is meaningless. I just don’t really comprehend this refusal to admit that we’ve been down this road before. ‘We gotta save our democracy,’ and ‘don’t you know that we’ll be living in Gilead,’ and ‘how can we save anyone else unless we secure our rights first?’

A lot of people much smarter than me, more eloquent than me, with bigger followings than me, have spoken on this. And I don’t particularly care to rehash political arguments beyond pointing out one thing: when a party stops talking policy and starts only fear-mongering, we’ve already lost. Blame citizens united, blame the Supreme Court, blame lobbying groups, blame dark money, but at the end of the day, the two parties have far more in common than they have differences. They got the time to send billions worth of weapons to kill innocents, got the time to ban TikTok, got the time to make the rich richer, and while they’re doing all that, they have us squabble over scraps. The red guys drape themselves in a flag and shout that the gays and immigrants are out to get them, and the blue guys drape themselves in a rainbow and say actually no, men with guns are gonna force us into nuclear families.

It’s funny, isn’t it. How both these parties get along just fine when it comes to money and murdering babies. But somehow, when it comes to helping vets or giving kids a good education or respecting a small government or caring about the environment or getting affordable healthcare, then the other guys are intransigent and out to get us.

I don’t care for the lesser of two evils argument. I don’t believe that our only choice every four years is to be scared enough to vote for a politician who seems to keep doing the same thing no matter whether there’s a R or a D next to their name. It’s heartbreaking to see people I respect choose to turn away from those who suffer in the name of minimizing damage, as though we’re all powerless somehow.

Most of all, I wonder if any of us truly comprehend what those who suffer at the hands of our policies hear when we say these things. That our safety matters more? That it’s okay for us to halt pressure on our elected leaders for the sake of a democracy that we’ve convinced ourselves we have? Do we think the homeless vet with cancer in California dealing with sweeps by a democratic governor has time to wait? Or that kid with polio in Gaza? While innocents are sentenced to death as a result of a broken criminal legal system and the democrats have—for the first time in over a decade—removed death penalty abolishment from their platform? We scream ‘vote blue no matter who’ and our tax dollars go to bombing kids in shelters, go to separating families at the border, go to funding wars and havoc and pain worldwide, and we ignore that both the nominees are more willing to appeal to the basest of human behavior rather than choose to make the world a better place for everyone and not just a few.

I didn’t watch the convention. I couldn’t. Why this celebrity worship of politicians who have done nothing to deserve the praise? Why turn our political leaders into paragons without reproach rather than what they all actually are: people. People who are corruptible, greedy, easily manipulated, and willing to sacrifice large swaths of innocents for the sake of their careers. Why should we celebrate either of these nominees? Why shouldn’t we instead demand better? Demand real policy outside of just ‘the other guy is worse.’ I know he is. That’s not the issue.

I don’t want slogans and pretty words. I don’t want to be scared into voting for someone I know will carry on a genocide, all in the name of saving myself. I want real actionable plans. I want to keep pushing those in politics to fight for something other than lining their own pockets. Civic duty is about more than harm reduction. It’s about more than merely securing the best outcome for ourselves. It’s about fighting, with each other, not against, for a fair and equitable society for everyone. I don’t believe we are without power, that true change is out of reach. They wouldn’t try so hard to silence us and keep us distracted by fighting each other if we didn’t have power.

And yet, I have no hope whatsoever that we will obtain any meaningful political change. Not today, not in November. Not for those children in Gaza, not for those unhoused folks in California, and certainly not for the average American, who has more in common with her flag waving and rainbow wearing neighbors than any politician.

But don’t you worry, I’m sure in four years’ time, we’ll all have a new bogeyman to be scared of, and we can start this whole process yet again.

[mdhwrites]

Frieren and the Timelessness of Fantasy

I am not about to talk about the themes of Frieren. I am not about to talk about what it does differently than other fantasy shows. I will not try to call it subversive or groundbreaking for I do not believe it is actually either of those things. It is oftentimes smart, clever, inventive and fun but it is still at its core a fantasy adventure.

The thing about fantasy adventures though is that the best, those that resonate with an audience, don't need to do anything new. They just need to be good. Frieren is one of the best.

It's no one singular thing either. Harry Potter is not going to rot into the next generation's brain because of just one thing. Lord of the Rings has no lasted over a century because of one element that stands above all other fantasy literature. Even Lovecraft still outshines most modern takes not because he was the first to think of fish people but for how he decided to mix that with a dozen other elements. Yes, all three of the works I have stated also have come under, justifiably, scrutiny for the underlying beliefs, messages, allegories, etc. like that but does that mean they have stopped resonating?

No. For a scared, powerless child will always want a story about how they can rise to greatness or had a secret destiny or even just can escape to a place that seems so much greater than the world they live in and that they can potentially conquer and fight back in. A person will always wish to believe in the nobility of a good heart and the power of a band of people coming together to overcome a darkness that seems bigger than them all but can never devour the light which is friendship and determination in the face of evil. People will always be afraid of things they cannot describe and connect with others who feel powerless to voice those fears except to scream at nothing and wish that some greater force than their own mind can be blamed for the madness that writhes within.

And for Frieren, people will always wish to both be able to go on an adventure and experience all of its joys, while also reminiscing about the past and the joy it has brought them. It is, more than maybe any other fantasy work I've ever seen, the story I've seen that truly loves what a fantasy world is from back to front. From its most ancient origins to its freshest faces to all the times inbetween, it will resonate for all of those who wish to seek a trip with those they care about and connect with them as each step we take, we know others take with us, whether now or before.

This is something I genuinely love about the fantasy genre. That which resonates is so often divorced from so much of reality and our time period that it ends up actually forming a purer bond than something more closely tied to the troubles of the day. Not to say those works do not have their place, they're potentially more important than timeless fairytales, but that does not mean we should not have these works that will always comfort. That will always scare. That we can pass from hand to hand like a folk spell and believe that they have power just because that is how we perceive them. That the same joy a man fifty years my elder enjoyed can be one I find the exact same joy in.

I imagine almost every fantasy fan has one fantasy work they consider to be this for them that they don't say is under-appreciated but that it is under-consumed. For me, I have two main ones. I adore the old RPG Legend of Dragoon and think it tells a very compelling tale of interwoven destinies, of how our worlds can expand so much faster than we expect but also of how the strength we draw from our friends and loved ones can help us face those. My other is the Ranger's Apprentice (at least before Royal Ranger). The excitement of not just flashy combat but of the grand majesty of war, of knights and rangers who are larger than life while also being all too human. Of how we can grow and become even better than our masters and change the world just by never being willing to stop dreaming of a day when we can be more than what we appear to be. That determination is truly all it takes to make it someday. It is to this day still my favorite book series.

And for fantasy anime? I don't know when I'll find one I think that is going to beat Frieren for me, not quickly at least, but I look forward to when one can sit next to that old elf and begin telling its tale too. Not to best it but to sit in the same circle at the round table of all the other works that still inspire to us to this day.

What works do you personally consider deserving of that table? Let me know and see you next tale.

======+++++======

I would argue that the reverse of this blog btw would be me talking about how much I find the 'subversion' of fantasy tropes tired and tedious because subverting the genuine, human connection that most of the best fantasy stories include is just going to make your story look immediately dated and annoying. At least to me.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.