#About Indianna

[theserandomcharacters]

Playlist Masterpost

Fuck it, Spoofy playlist masterpost be upon ye! Some of them encompass more than one OC!

Atticus and Birdie - Old Lovebirds reuniting their fondness for each other.

The Stormfront - Coming like the Storm itself - tearing your world into disarray.

Suburb Kids - An axolotl, a frog and an alligator's outings to the skate park.

Mizz Riptide and the Undertow - Setlist for the Human-Fronted Monster Rock Band

Astrid - Women want her, Men also want her, fish fear her.

Cécé - That one macaw that loves EDM and hates shoes

Demetrius - Lynx Demon living as a summon in Nova Scotia

Ectibod - The Bug Demon. The Papa Roach, if you will

Einar - The Troll-Fae Hybrid Vagabond

Elijah - The Witch studying Fae

Flamma - World's Angriest Firecracker

Flint - World's Worrisome Pebble

Freya - Most Professional-Looking Shadow

Haniel - Tyrannical Seraph Hellbent on Victory

Ira - Vampire "Mommy" Beats to Suck Blood To

Izzy - Scene Game Dev that's a lil silly

Jenara - The Heralded Ice Skater Fairy devoted to the Moon

Juni - The By-The-Books Royal Fairy that cosplays as an office worker.

Karl - The absolute Mad Lad Incubus

Laivas - The Puppeted Witch with Mal

Lysander - Tiger Demon Bodyguard with a voice of gold

Narcissa - Hell's Sleepiest Girlie Slob

Niles - Disgraced Teacher-turned-Mad Scientist

Noxxy - The Shadow Being that "rawrs", ecksdee

Oliver - The Were-Rabbit Teacher-also-Inventor

Ophira - The Witch-Unicorn what will - if you ask - step on you

Paolo - The Wine-Making Goat and a chill dude

Quyen - Displaced Witch with a Possessed Hat and an owly companion.

Ramone - Love Witch Student, also a Prince fanatic

Tamisra - The Baddest Cambrion Bitch in the world (Her words not mine)

Tarmo - Battle-worn Fairy Looking to a Future

Techko - Angsty Lab Assistant and Gecko-Enthusiast

Thermuthis - DIY Crocodile and a Dadlike

Valerio - Reluctant Main Character, Wants a Quiet Life

Waryck - Vampiric Demon, the one LITERALLY raised by Bats

Wilbur - The Grandpa Cat who runs a Curiosity shop and doesn't run short on butterscotch sweets

Yalanda - Avid Baker, Chronic Romantic and Metalhead

Ysrael - Dragon Hitman Living Too Closely to the saying "Fuck Bitches, Get Money".

[millyandprudyandfriends]

Adding onto say that a lot of freeways/interstates have a highway/US-route equivalent. For example, I-95 goes up the coast, but so does Route 1 (Atlantic Highway). So, yes, very plausible that if the interstate is traffic-y, you have a highway option RIGHT THERE a lot of the time. In the midwest, the highway option might be less 1-to-1 and you may find yourself wandering through the corn in big 1/2 mile to mile grid-system country roads because that's how the land was divided out there way-back when.

Expressways do have common names that *only people in that area know.* If you're driving around Chicago, for example, and say you're on the Reagan expressway, or the Eisenhower, someone who's *not* from Chicago will have no clue what you're talking about (very specific portion of I-88 and I-290). If you're places with no-tolls (Ohio, for example), you're going to be upset and surprised when you stumble on places where tolls are the norm (Chicago), and likely unprepared since these days, digital-tolling with an EZ-pass or I-pass has become more common and it's harder to pay with cash.

Highways and interstates with Odd numbers (usually end in 5) go nOrth/sOuth and highways with Even numbers go East/wEst. They increase in number going west to east, starting with 5 in California and ending with 95 on the east coast, 10 down south and 90 up north. If it's a 3-number interstate, it's a "special" connection (i.e., a beltway going around a city or connecting the interstate to another point of interest before often hooking back up with the same or another interstate. The last two numbers of a three-digit interstate relate to the actual interstate it's a part of (so 290 above is the beltway around Chicago and it's part of interstate 90).

I could go more into driving culture on interstates in different parts of the country (Tennessee uses all lanes of the highway equally without regard for passing, Maine is a very strict "keep right except to pass" kind of place), on-ramp etiquette, passing etiquette, etc. because locals WILL GET MAD at tourists for not following unspoken local rules but. I have rambled enough.

Writing fanfic as a non-US citizen like

[fatfables]

Selection of Weight Gain Stories

Camp Shawn (Part One)

Shawn is a lazy overweight teen with a bad jerking habit and terrible attitude. When his parents decide to send him off to a fat camp in Indianna to lose weight and learn some discipline he is horrified, but it's his Mum and Dad who are in for a shock.

This is the first part of 'Camp Shawn' my full length weight gain novel. 25,000 words. Contains; stuffing, bloating, gaining, farting and competitive eating, and more.

Big Ben

Set in London in the early 90's, Big Ben, tells the story of an overweight unemployed alcoholic who meets his dream boyfriend. His feelings of guilt soon start to get the better of him when he starts to feed up his much younger lover. Is Ben the sinful old pervert that he believes himself to be?

5,000 words. Contains; stuffing, feeding, drinking, smoking, death feederism, and more.

Gainfully Unemployed

Kyle California is one of the hottest young gainers online. His videos get tens of thousands of hits and his OnlyFans is blowing up as quickly as he is. He loves the attention and money that he gets from his subscribers as his belly and income continues to swell. But is all of this attention good for him?

2,000 words. Contains; gaining and stuffing.

Long Island Liberals

Dr Steve Stringer meets Benji a friend of his son's who cruises the public toilets at Jones Beach State Park. Benji is tall and broad and big bellied. The pair soon develop an infatuation that put's Dr Stringer at odds with his personal and professional beliefs about public health and the U.S. obesity epidemic.

1,500 words. Contains; gaining and stuffing.

[simanxieuse]

🍂👻 The day of horror has arrived 👻🍂

Levi spends this day with his big sister and his best friend Laura.

***

Indianna completely let herself go with Aaron... Until she had her first woohoo with him... (in her mother's bed too😂) Hoping Hanna doesn't know about this betrayal.

[recreationalfanfics]

Yandere! Adventurer x Fem! Reader HCs

I do not condone this behavior in real life. If you or someone close to you has a partner who displays any of these unhealthy behaviors, please contact the Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233. If you wish to message, text "START" to 88788. If you believe your messages or calls are being monitored, then use contact: 800.799.SAFE (7233)

- OKAY, SO THIS IDEA CAME TO ME DURING A CREATIVE WRITING CLASS SINCE WE'RE WATCHING INDIANNA JONES BUT IMAGINE SOMEONE LIKE THAT BEING A YANDERE?? LIKE, SOMEONE KINDA BASED OFF OF HIM.

- Yandere Adventurer is someone who knows how to do very thorough research on anyone and any artifact in the world. Someone whose learned various different methods to subtly knock someone out, someone who has found even the most magical relics and prevented the wrong people from getting their hands on it.

- Yandere Adventurer is highly notorious in the rings of archeologists and historians but not in a good way. All of them sticking their nose up at him because of his "juvenile methods" and because he's so "young and impulsive". He knows they're just a bunch of uptight old men but it really gets him pressed when they talk shit behind his back after he went through all the trouble to bring them back a LONG LOST ARTIFACT.

- Yandere Adventurer who isn't really appreciated by anyone, all of them thinking he's just so arrogant upstart whose allowed to galavant all over the world whenever he wishes. Effortlessly fighting off armed men, beasts, and other threats. As if he hadn't sustained nearly serious injuries, as if he wasn't fighting for his life. But he won't tell them about that, they didn't deserve to know that. They could talk all they wanted too for all he cares.

- Yandere Adventurer who nearly thinks about giving up. No one respects him, no one appreciates the thing he does for the sake of preserving the past, and no one can get passed the glamour of his lifestyle to see he faces actual danger everyday. That is, until, he met you.

Maybe you're a museum curator, maybe you're a new historian who started working at the same university as him, or maybe you're just a big fan. Either way, you both meet at a grand opening to display his most recent adventure and you just had been working ALL night to try and talk to him but you were too shy, favoring to just look at the giant bone display of an undiscovered dinosaur species and feeling small. What on earth were you thinking? You couldn't possibly have anything interesting to say to a person like him, you were ridiculous for thinking you could approach him.

- Yandere Adventurer who has a strained smile as the owner of the museum, aka the person who simply owns the building, takes great pride on having such a ground breaking discovery in his museum and not even crediting the Adventurer who STOOD RIGHT NEXT TO HIM. However, he was too tired by the uncomfy suit to say anything so he just rolls his eyes and downs his glass of wine before looking over at the dinosaur display. His eyes landing on you immediately.

- Yandere Adventurer who does have a bit of a reputation of being a flirt, charming women no matter where he went. Hopefully talking to a pretty thing like you would get his mind off of his exaughstion and near burn out. So he just walks next to you, you didn't even notice until he spoke up.

"Quite the specimen, ain't he? Won't believe how many black market dealers were after this thing."

"O-Oh, it's you!"

- Yandere Adventurer who smiles softly as you try to stammer and introduce yourself. You tell him how you absolutely loved his work and his dedication and how you were a big fan. His heart leaps in his chest in a way no other woman has done before but he brushes it aside. Of course you know who he is, everyone knows who he is, he's just lucky that you're not one of those people who act like they can do his job.

"Sure is, darlin'." He says suavely before kissing your hand. You're very clearly flustered as your eyes can no longer make eye contact with his and you give him a shy smile.

Fuck, you're cute.

"And may I get to know yer name, ma'am?" He asked politely, his hand still still holding yours.

"(Y/n). (Y/n) (L/n)." You say timidly.

- Yandere Adventurer who spends the entire night regaling you with his stories. His hand somehow made its way to your waist and you stare at him with such adoration in your eyes with each exciting detail. Not to mention when he mentioned any parts of him getting hurt on these adventures, you'd show some kind of concern for him.

"Ah, it happened a while ago. M'all better now~" He snickered. Your brows furrowed, concerned, as you tell him: "But it must've been so scary to deal with by yourself. Don't get me wrong, it was very brave of you, but I also can't help but feel concerned.

- Yandere Adventurer who starts to think that maybe he won't stop adventuring yet when you exchange numbers after talking and it soon gets late. He offers to walk you to your car and as he watches you leave, he feels like you took a part of him with you. Of course, he wasn't one who thought too much about love at first sight. It didn't exist. His past lovers are a testament to that but even when driving home, you're still on his man. After he showers off the gross smell of rich old people, your smile still plagues his mind and the last thing he thinks about is your face as he goes to sleep.

- Yandere Adventurer who sees that you've been transferred to a position or job that is coincidentally right near him. If he didn't know any better, he'd say it was fate, but he knew such a thing didn't exist. He isn't complaining though, he loves about around you. Despite not having a super cool job like his, you always seem ready to brighten up his day. Making a habit to chat with him in the morning and, once you figured out how he liked it, bringing him coffee since you knew he had a tendency to pull all nighters to find leads on a new relic.

- Yandere Adventure who grows closer to you. Both of ranting about the men who are as old as the fossils in the archive, snickering to each other like little kids when one of them scolds you two for not being more formal with each other, and just opening up with conversation. You actually make him look forward to working. Usually most of the day, he'd be praying and hoping someone needed his assistance finding something or another hitman attack that'd send him around the world, but now his eyes eagerly flick to the door. Waiting for when you walked in to start your shift.

- Yandere Adventurer who goes on another adventure, not as long as his other ones, but during the entire time he can't stop thinking about you. Man, he can imagine how excited you'd get over the architecture. How you'd be so enchanted by the various different foods and eat yourself silly. How you would be infodumping random information about the region, the people, the culture, the clothing- anything. Honestly...maybe he should bring you back a souvenir or something. It's hard choosing one since he can't really find anything that would fit you. Like yeah maybe you'd find the bobble head cute but he wants to get you something a bit...more. Like, I don't know, maybe a necklace worn by a royal princess that was in an old jewlery box he discovered along with a lot of other hidden treasure.

- Yandere Adventurer who comes back, eager to show you his gift when he goes back to the University the next day, only to see that you were waiting for him at the airport. His heart stops when you make eye contact. Why were you here? More importantly, why did he feel so goddamn happy that you were? At least until your face contorts into one of annoyance and he knows he's in trouble.

"I understand what you do but I thought we were friends!" You scold, "Do you know how worried sick I was when you didn't show up for four days!? Then one of those uptight archivists told me you were halfway around the world!? Without giving me a heads up or saying: "bye!?"

Ah, thats right. He left without saying bye...

"Aw, shucks, m'sorry, darlin'" He frowned, his southern drawl becoming sad and dejected. You were gonna continue to pout until he gave you a sheepish smile, "I guess I just never had anyone care enough about me to give 'em a heads up."

Your angry expressions turns into a shocked one and soon, you can't find it in yourself to be angry anymore.

"O-Oh, then...I guess I understand. I'm sorry...But don't you dare ever do that again, okay!?"

"S'a deal, (Y/n)...Oh, by the way, I got ya something!

- Yandere Adventurer who never asked to keep any portion of the relics he brought back but he made an exception for you and it was so worth it to see your face. The way it lit up as he put the necklace around you and you checked yourself in the mirror, fawning over it. When he says you can keep it, you grow timid. After all, should you really keep it? It is a historical artifact! But he insists. Telling you that: "Pretty ladies should have pretty things." like the flirty friend he is.

- Yandere Adventurer who is no longer easily tricked by femme fatales or women who flirted with him because they just weren't you. He used to love the thrill but it was nothing compared to the feeling of his hand touching yours when you both went to grab a history book or when you had eaten so much at his house that you fell asleep on his couch and he got admire your cute little face and make you breakfast.

- Yandere Adventurer who begins to write letters and send messages and call you during his trip sometimes and who doesn't hesitaite to answer when you call him. He could literally be in South America jumping across snapping crocodiles to get across the river when he hears his phone ring.

"(Y/n)!! Huh? Aw, don't worry you didn't catch me at a bad time!"

*Croc nearly bites his leg off*

- Yandere Adventure when he's excited to come home, his newest prize now in his hands. He's exuaghsted and tired but is so excited when he hears from a hotel staff that someone had sent him a letter. He doesn't snatch it fast enough as he runs into his hotel room and rip it open, his smile bright but soon fading as he reads the letter. Don't get him wrong, he loves hearing from you and he was happy to know you were getting a promotion. However, he wasn't happy when he read a certain part of your letter.

"The university hired someone to help me whenever you're gone so you don't have to worry about dumping the workload on me anymore. I actually think you guys would get along really well together, he's just as much of a fan of you as I am and he's so excited to meet you when you come back!"

- Yandere Adventurer who has to reread the letter to make sure he read it right. Beg his pardon but HE!? WHEN DID THE UNIVERSITY SUDDENLY NEED SOMEONE TO HELP YOU? THEY BARELY CARED WHEN HE TOOK OFF FOR A FEW MONTHS AS LONG AS HE GOT MUSEUMS TO FUND THEM. WHERE WAS THIS WORKLOAD AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHY WASN'T HE NOTIFIED!? Until he looked at his notifications on his phone, which didn't get the best wifi or data in the heart of a lost forest and saw that he was, in fact, notified about the new guy. Ah...

- Yandere Adventurer who packs his stuff then and there, he's going home as soon as possible. When someone is concerned and tells him he should rest, he assured them that he's fine. Absolutely fine! Everything is fine! In fact, he's fine enough to go home, back to where you are! Fine enough to excite you with his newest gift, which he'll make sure to give in front of the new guy so they know EXACTLY whose the more impressive man, and fine enough to strangle the mystery bastard who snuck in while he was gone!

- Yandere Adventurer who shows up at his usual early time at work to get things prepared and situated. However when he walks in, he sees a stranger organizing the papers and archives and his mouth just grows into a frown. So this was the new guy? Bet he couldn't even stop multiple Japanese Triad members armed with katannas. The new guy lights up when he sees him and immediately gets excited and maybe Adventurer would've been flattered, if it didn't feel like that prick was mocking him. Talking nonsense about how he made sure everything was organized everything while he was away and how you were a good guide. OF COURSE YOU WERE, you were good at a lot of things.

- Yandere Adventurer who finds himself acting like his Aunt Darlene whenever she got jealous, putting on a fake venomous smile and using that southern charm to cover up her passive-agressiveness. The new guy either is ignoring it or too star struck by Adventurer to care, which really annoys him. His hatred only grows when you finally come in at your normal time, two coffees in your hand.

"YOU'RE BACK!" You cheered.

Adventurer's smile grew, more genuine and softer. You hand one of the coffees over to the new guy and then go to hug him.

"I'm so glad you're here! You're so early, though! If I had known you were coming back today, I would've gotten you one too!"

Adventurer hugs you, a bit tighter than usual but you don't notice. The new guy, however, notices the way that the Adventurer is giving him such a brutal death glare.

"Ain't nuthin' to worry about, sweetheart."

- Yandere Adventurer who hates seeing you both have inside jokes. Who hates the way you treat the intruder so gently when he can't do his job right. Who hates it that whenever he tries to give his gift to you, the new guy immediately can recognize the ancient carvings on the gift and starts info dumping about its history, your eyes now looking at him with intruige while Adventurer just briefly scrunches his nose. He already knew that stuff, he was going to tell you about it, so why did that disgusting worm steal his thunder!?

- Yandere Adventurer who starts comparing himself to this guy. This guy can't ever measure up to Adventurer. Not when he's fought warriors that came back from the dead, escaped ancient death mazes hidden inside temples, been hunted down by various crime syndicates, so why...why is he so jealous of this guy? This awkward, ordinary guy. Was it because of you? Well, he knew he liked you a bit more than a friend and he knew that you had a thing for him...but what if you wanted someone who wasn't always half way across the world? Someone who wouldn't worry you about being in life threatening danger.

- As far Adventurer sees it, he has three options:

1. Be straight up and tell you about his feelings and then work out your relationship from there because he's willing to compromise.

2. Invite you with him on his next adventure while somehow keeping you safe. who knows, you guys might have to share a tent

3. Get rid of the new guy.

- Yandere Adventurer who decides to try and text you to meet up but you apologized since you had to help the new guy reorganize everything because he messed up. Adventurer them shoots a text saying he'll come over and help and grabs his keys, a dark glint in his eyes.

- Nevermind, he only had two options because he was getting rid of that man one way or another.

[gabessquishytum]

Exams are in a few weeks and Middle Egyptian Is Kicking My Ass so I'm making it everybody's problem (kidding)

Consider: Hob as an archaeologist, adventurer, professor basically an Indiana Jones with less murder and much more charisma. He makes a solo expedition into the deepest depths of the Indian Jungle and stumbles upon an old temple like positively ancient and finds out upon further examination that the temple is dedicated to the god of Dreams but the god's name got erased. Because Hob's Hob he just straight up walks into the sanctuary of the temple and right into the owner of the temple, the god himself. Hob, of course, falls immediately in love with the being. The god is oblivious to it due to severe depression after wasting after in this temple for more than a few thousand years. You see, he was cursed and bound to a human body and the mortal plane by the old gods for loving a human. The curse can only be broken by endless mutual devotion. Bless Hob cause he's absolutely Down For That and vows to the god to endlessly love, cherish him and be devoted to him. The is Skeptical because surely nobody can want an eternity of This but he agrees because, let's be honest, he fucking hates the temple and just wants out of it. One of the main points of the devotion ritual beside the oths and vows is giving the god a new name because his old one was lost to time. So, Hob gives him a new name, and the name is Dream.

(after that they fuck nasty on the altar and live happily ever after)

🦈

Good luck in your exams my friend!! Rooting for you so hard!!!!

Love this!!! I've talked about a reverse Indianna Jones style Hob before - where he steals stuff from museums and takes it back where it belongs. It's very important that the hoboobies are out, too. For reasons.

Anyway, he's checking out this fun jungle temple. It's creepy as fuck but he has 0 self preservation instinct so he goes around touching shit and poking things he shouldn’t. Until the god pops up and grumpily tells him to Fuck Off.

Hob says OK but what if i don't do that and we just have a chat? You seem kind of sad and I don't want you to be sad.

Dream (when he is named Dream, and fuck if that doesn't feel amazing to have an identity and a name again) falls in love with this human entirely against his will, but it happens. The devotion grows and grows until the walls of the temple crumble away. Dream is left sitting there with Hob’s hand holding his own.

He doesn’t really have anywhere else to go, and for a moment he aches, pulses with loneliness again. But Hob squeezes his hand and gives him a huge smile, because he promised endless devotion, didn't he? Time to make a new life, together.

[libbys-braincell-loss]

Loved the knuckles show. But honestly theres some things i gotta talk abt

Spoilers ahead??? Not too bad tho

It felt more like the show where Wade grows and because a bigger stronger person. It felt more like the Wade show than the Knuckles show at times. Knuckles grew very little and felt more like a secondary character. I think it should have been a little more Knuckles focused since this is his fucking show and not the Wade show

I like the Jewish representation in the show. Im not Jewish and i know nothing about Jewish traditions but i liked how the representation was so kindly and carefully handled and Knuckles accepting the tradition and being so kind and genuinely enjoying it made my heart melt

The fact all the military representation (the gun soldiers and Wanda) is that they are absolutely incompetent at what they do is really hilarious. Fuck the military lmao

Wandas kinda meh. She got better by the end but shes kinda meh

Wades mom is such a fantastic woman. I loved the actress who played her she nailed it. Would love to chat and eat pie with her

"This is my jam"!!!! So cute !! he said it so sing sony it made me beam

The GUN folks are so neat tho. I loved them a bunch they were really cool

Jack Sinclair is so goofy to me. Say goodbye to your weave bitch

Knuckles's chief spirit dude felt very useless to me, it felt kinda pointless and he didnt do much

The entirety of the episode with Wade against Jack Sinclair lacked Knuckles, im glad Wade got to grow but Knuckles needed screentime too; also that episode didnt explain Knuckles's backstory very good, i think Knuckles deserved to tell it, we did not need a spiritual low budget rock opera

The main overarching villain was kinda ass, he didnt do a whole lot

I liked the lil girl! Susie, right? I liked her, she was cute

Pistol Pete was only completely obvious that he would betray Wade only after Wades mom confronted Wade, which was kinda dumb

I love Cary Elwis tho, hes been playing villains a lil bit more it seems (he was the evil mayor dude of Hawkins Indianna in Stranger Things s3) he does great

I wish we got to see Sonic, Tails and Maddie at the end

Speaking of Soni, he's getting so big!!! He's growing!! Omg

Overall, i enjoyed the show, it was cute and fun and worth the watch, but it def isnt everyones cup of tea

[skyguy675]

Entry 5: 23/10/24 - Why Bela Lugosi is the Scariest Vampire of Film

No this isn’t meant to come across as pretentious. I know the film is old as balls and as such is about as thrilling as a sock puppet opera operated by your nan (which doubles playfully as a description of the effects on display, especially if you’re watching the American one and not the Spanish).

I’m not trying to be snooty about the Draculas that followed, look down at them and proclaim myself as the most cultured dude at the Monster Mash, but Dracula 1931 I think possesses a quality that all following iterations quite lack. 

And this lacking isn’t necessarily a bad thing, they’re just different, and different is good, particularly when it comes to a character as prevalent as our Vlad. It’s why Doctor Who has survived so long. Characters like Dracula, or James Bond or the Joker that seem to transcend the original actors that portrayed them need variety or they’ll straight up wither and  die with the rest of their zeitgeist. Just look at the ragged remains of Indianna Jones: every time they stick Harrison Ford’s haggard jowls onto the poster of another modern foray into that franchise a bit of me just wants to get on my knees and beg for them to put him out of his misery (Indianna Jones, not Harrison, although there is an argument for that if his appearances on recent talk shows are anything to go by).

Moving on…

I goddamn love vampires. Always have. Every aspect, every version - even the stupid shit. From the horror shlock of the Hammer Sequels to the bedazzled luminescence of the tween vampire romance craze. 

It’s funny this, because in terms of media presence I’ve begun to consider them, if not the opposite, then as some sort of bizarro reflection of elves (I mean I defy you to watch Blade or Underworld and tell me those aren’t just alt elves). And whilst my opinion of elves has already been well logged, I find myself regarding vampires with more favour, perhaps because they make no bones about how much they’d be dicks to humanity if they actually existed. Elves would be superior around you, but pretend not to know the reason why; vamps would straight up call you an inferior worm and have you on your knees, and I find something about that oddly… appealing… 

Ahem. Moving on.

And of course, if you like vampires it stands to reason that you’d bloody love Dracula, and if that’s the case, you're spoiled for choice when it comes to varieties. I should know, me and my brother for the past couple of months having been going through as many Universal Monster movies as we could get our mitts on, and naturally that results in quite a helluva lot of Draculas, but the one that has consistently stayed with me throughout is, arguably, the first (sorry Nosferatu, you’re cool but you go out a bit like a nerd).

And the specific thing that stays with me about Dracula 1931’s performance is his inhumanity, or rather the inhumanity subtly hiding behind his delivered humanity. This may seem like an odd thing to comment upon as, given the constraints of film making at the time, he, arguably, is the Dracula version that spends most time as a human, and it seems like all future iterations want to do is emphasise how much a monstrous beast he truly is/has become (Dracula 1958, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Dracula Untold etc,) ergo 1931 has to be the most human seeming Dracula, surely? He’s just a guy, afterall.

I disagree. I think the opposite is true.

And this is a pretty typical result when a creative work is met with constraint - innovation. They couldn’t have him transform into an enormous man-bat thing and clatter a werewolf across a laboratory (Van Helsing), and they couldn’t have him fly about the place, hissing and tearing out throats (Hammer Dracula and Bram Stoker’s Dracula respectively), so what did they do? 

They made his human presence the scariest fucking thing in the world.

And no it’s not the scariest thing in terms of like shock horror, but cerebrally, it chills me to the bone. The Dracula in Dracula 1931 is an inhuman monster, put on this earth to do little more than feed on the blood of humans. He has no ulterior motive, no reincarnated love, no tragic backstory, just all the powers of the night, a preference for O negative and a one track mindset - feed.

I’m reminded of two things when I see him: Rob Zombie’s Halloween and John Carpenter’s The Thing (crazy, I know). The former comes from the little speech Dr Loomis gives when talking about Micheal Miers (the er, killer, not Shrek, unless some serious revelations come to light about the Shrek one, in which case, both) in where he says: “These eyes do not see what you and I can see. Behind these eyes, one finds only blackness, the absence of light. These are the eyes of a psychopath.”

That is the most fitting description I can come up with when it comes to Bela Lugosi’s performance. There is nothing behind those eyes. They’re not even bestial, they’re just empty. All that dialogue, all those interactions, all those little touches - fake. 

And this comes in quite beautifully with my comparison with the Thing, because the Thing is a creature of near perfect mimicry, down to the cell, down to the personality, and I just find the concept of a creature as soulless and hollow as either the Thing or Dracula being able to so effectively mimic human behaviour without possessing even a glimmer of humanity themselves so god damn unnerving. 

It’s a lure, an angler fish’s lamp, aggressive mimicry directed specifically at humans. And it makes you wonder. If whatever Dracula presents himself as is fake, what is he really like? We’re given no other possibilities, so we’re left having to just assume there’s nothing. 

I just find something so inherently terrifying about this concept, the harsh simplicity to Dracula 1931's existence. All the other Draculas have some aspect of them that's recognisable as being human, be it wrath, pride, lust, happiness and so forth. A descent into beasthood still comes from a human place, and even when they morph into some ungodly puppet or cg beast, there's still something in that we, as humans - living, breathing, thinking, sentient creatures - can understand. Contemplating the higher brain functions of Dracula 1931 is like trying to contemplate the structure of the void.

To bring in a third movie comparison: insect politics. The associated vampiric creature with our Vlad shouldn’t ever have been a bat, or a wolf - it should have been a spider.

There is no love, no compassion, no mercy, no soul, no person. Behind those eyes, there are no thoughts, save for the instincts of an ambush predator.

That is all there is: the prey, the predator, the latter’s dark, endless hunger and whatever means through which it might be able to sate it. 

Ruairi

P.S: I know Bela Lugosi wasn’t the first on screen Dracula either, but like… he’s first anyone cares about so like shut up.

[lunartadpole]

When Eddie was younger, he loved exploring the woods.

It was an escape at first, from the school that didn't understand him, the assholes that tormented him, the wretched town that hated him. In the woods, it was quiet. Peaceful. He liked looking up into the trees, their branches arm-like stretching out to touch the skies. He liked dipping his feet in the river's crystal water, letting the fish swim past like an army. He liked listening to the birds sing their songs of joy. He liked climbing the mountain rocks, sitting atop them like a king on a throne. By the time he was 10, he had memorised every tree, rock and river the forest had to offer.

But his favourite place, by far, is the overgrown pavilion in the clearing. There's a pond there, lush with frogspawn, and rows upon rows of unkempt wild flowers. The small structure in the center of it is ivy covered. Eddie likes to lay on the grass and listen to the music of the woods, the winds, the birds, the pond, and just breathe. He goes there as often as possible. Because it's the only place he feels like he can truly be himself.

And because of the very handsome statue he's become enamoured with.

Eddie discovered him by accident; when he was 14 and had just discovered the clearing. The poor thing was covered in a blanket of moss inside the broken pavilion. Eddie spent all day scraping it off, determined to unveil what was hidden underneath, and he was not disappointed.

A man made of marble, carved intricate and delicate, sculptured like the Greek Gods themselves, frozen a sword in one hand and the other outstretched, reaching for something that has long disappeared. He took his time admiring the details in the stone. It's odd that something so exceptionally beautiful has just been abandoned in the woods of Bumfuck, Indianna, but Eddie doesn't question much. Not when he gets to look at the man's fine figure. He makes a point of visiting the clearing every day.

The years go by like that. Every day, come hell or high water, Eddie traverses through the woods to the clearing where he's met with the company of his marbled man. Sometimes, Eddie reaches out to touch him and gets disappointed when his fingertips are met with the cold, hard feeling of marble. The statue looks so soft, real, he forgets it's just stone. In the clearing, he sits for hours, talking. An onlooker might think him crazy, a boy talking to a statue, but there's something about the thing that makes Eddie feel like he's listening. Eddie swears he sees a ghost of a smile on that beautiful, pale face - that's when he knows it's time to go home.

He doesn't tell anyone of this little routine. Eddie tells himself it's because sparing himself the teasing he'll surely endure when his friends, or god forbid the kids, find out about his little - read; massive - crush on a statue. But the little voice buried deep in the back of his head revels in the fact that he has something to keep all to himself. Something that is undeniably his. It's a ritual, it's his, and it doesn't harm anyone. So who needs to know?

Then, one summer day in early July when Eddie is 20, things change. His small crush grew into the closest thing Eddie has ever felt to love and after years and years of pining, obsessing, over a piece of stone, he decides he can do it no more. So he takes his last steps into the clearing, his legs working on muscle memory as he makes his way inside the pavilion as he recites the speech he's been preparing this whole way in his head. He scoffs at how his heart sinks with each step. The statue's face is as pale and still as ever when Eddie faces it. Not for the first time he longs to run his fingers through its hair, imagining how soft it would feel on his fingertips had it been real.

"This is it," he begins, trying his best to keep his face stern. It feels like a breakup, he thinks and then he hates himself for thinking that. It's just stone! "Listen, these past few years have been great. Fantastic, actually. The best part of my life. But- I can't see you anymore. Because every time I lay eyes on you I fall deeper in love and I-" he laughs, cruel, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Jesus Christ, what am I saying? You're stone! You're not real!"

"Sometimes, I actually think you can hear me. Is that crazy? I come here and I tell you about me, and my life, and I pause after every sentence just incase you respond. You never do though, obviously." Eddie pauses, hopefully, like, if he wills it enough, this time he'll get a response.

The statue says nothing. Eddie huffs, a pathetic expulsion of air. "Maybe I am crazy."

The sun's setting and Eddie knows it's time for him to go. "Goodbye, my marble man." And still, he lingers. He finds himself wrapping his arms around the statue's neck, eyes glued to those perfect lips. Oh well, he thinks, he's been crazy all these years, what's one more moment of crazy?

It's silly but he didn't know what to expect when he pressed his lips against the statue's. Coldness? Stillness? Disappointed? Whatever it was, Eddie is sure it wasn't to have the kiss reciprocated. Nor would he have ever thought that an arm would wrap around his waist at the sounds of a sword clattering as it hit the ground.

Frightened, Eddie pulls back. He's met with the kindest pair of brown eyes, sparkling with joy, and the biggest smile he's ever seen. Eddie thinks he's about to pass out when the statue reaches out to gently caress his cheek and says, so very softly, "Don't go."

[superblysubpar]

Tis gross and cold and rainy today, hit me with some summertime magic? 🥺

Ask Me About My WIPs

It's like that here too! I'm sending all the summery vibes and also hot cocoa 💛

I just answered one about summertime magic here , but here is the teeniest sneak peek at part one of Eddie's story, June: You Need A Lipstick Stain On Your Whiskey Ice

(also you'll see, but the theater/arcade is actually gonna be called Newby's now and the waterpark in Steve's story is Holloway's - I just haven't got around to changing that)

📻Now Playing: No Sleep Till Brooklyn by Beastie Boys

“While you’re at the job working nine to five, The Beastie Boys at the Gard-”

Your finger slams the radio off, car plowing into a spot behind the old brick building and coming to an abrupt halt. 

Coffee burns as it rushes over your tongue and down your throat, your fingers adjusting the hem of your skirt as you slip your keys into your bag and jog up the steps and inside the cool AC that’s already humming in overtime. Fuck, it was gonna be a day. 

The dimly lit hallway of Newby’s is a labyrinth and no easy feat for a beginner. The lights are basically non-existent and your boss, Keith, unloads shipments there. The narrow space is already cramped, and with the foam cups spilling out, reels, chords for arcade games, it is a precise and intricate dance from the back door to the staff room. At this point, you can sway and skip your way around it with your eyes closed, but on a morning like today, you’re simply not inclined to care. 

Your tennis shoe kicks at a box of popcorn buckets, knee smacking into something that you’re fairly certain is a butter shipment, due to the stains on the side of the cardboard, and a sharp and loud ‘mother-fucker’ leaves your lips. 

His voice calls from down the hall, “You’re late.”

Unwilling to give an ounce of satisfaction to him, you roll your shoulders back and step into the staff room, the faint smell of burnt pizza from an unfortunate microwave incident last summer still lingers in the fabric of the threadbare carpet and cheap couch. You ignore the boy laying on said couch and open your locker. 

Eddie pretends not to look at you, but his eyes roam up the back of your exposed legs, to the hem of your skirt and he swallows. Ignoring the way the slight rise of your work polo lifting and revealing a part of your midriff makes his stomach twist up. It’s when you slam your locker closed, curl a piece of loose hair around your ear and take a sip of coffee that he sees it and remembers. 

He shakes his head and stands, walking out of the room, “Late night?”

Your body heats up but you just smile at his profile, “Jealous, Munson?”

Eddie’s in his usual outfit. The black polo for the first day of summer, the black, ripped at the knees jeans, dirty white sneakers. It’s only when he stops in the doorway, turning back around to face you, that you see his face fully for the first time since last summer and your fingers adjust on your coffee cup. 

He seems taller, his jaw a little more angular, and you detect a slight scruff over it. His hands land on the frame, ringed fingers curling around the wood as he smirks, nodding at your shirt, “Nope. But you might want to cover that up.”

As he leaves with a whistle of a song that stirs something familiar in your brain, you spin and look in the mirror, whispering, “Shit.” The faintest little hickey blooms on your neck and is totally, one hundred percent, visible. 

You were gonna kill Steve Harrington. 

But that was a problem for a different day, because as the faint sounds of popcorn popping and the stereo begins to harmonize with arcade buzzes and whirs, you have to start your first day of your summer job. 

Newby’s was the first of Hawkin’s newly renovated downtown, a town favorite and bustling place when the Indianna summer heat reached insane temperatures. Keith had already given you a spiel about how the new waterpark was going to affect business and you and Eddie needed to be on better behavior than normal - especially if you wanted the manager promotion. 

Which you honestly weren’t sure what he was referring to in terms of “better behavior than normal”. There had only been one bucket of popcorn dumped on a head last summer, one Icee to the face, and only like, five, unofficial parties. 

But despite hating your co-worker, you really did love the job. You enjoyed the cool temp of the building and the dim lighting to soothe many a summer hangover. Free snacks and plenty of downtime, with good hours that left you with ample free time most evenings. Now, with three summer’s under your belt, you were determined to become the manager, and were certain you’d do a better job than Munson. 

Three summer’s of knowing the exact way the popcorn machine could be coaxed into a few more kernels without burning. The bump of your hip in a very precise spot to get the coins the pac man machine would eat, loose. The perfect time to refill salt shakers and napkin holders and run the Icee machine in the lull that came like clockwork before a rush.

But most importantly, you know how to make Eddie Munson tick, even with just a simple piece of bubblegum in your mouth. And sure, maybe it was immature to place the gum in your mouth as you rounded the corner and began the opening duties with him. Maybe it was childish, unprofessional, and not manager material to try to get him amped up already, but you missed seeing his ears turn red and that look flash across his brown eyes. Missed the way your stomach sort of swooped when he swallowed and your faces got close together when you started yelling at each other and-

The bright pink bubble pops loudly as you clean the second popcorn machine, Eddie sighs somewhere behind your shoulder. You relish in the grunt that follows when you snap it loudly across your teeth. Alternating between bubble and snap for the last five minutes.

Early morning light filters in through the small window that runs across the top of the blacked out doors, the movie theater and arcade dim with warm lighting and neon flashes that trick you into thinking it's cooler outside than it is.The trailer for the new action thriller coming in July harmonizes with the whir of a pinball machine, the clatter and cheer from a fake audience in the racing game home screen.

As you close the glass panel of the popcorn machine and hit start on a second batch, you turn with another bubble ready to pop. A pencil in his outstretched hand pokes it.

The sad pink glob deflates over the yellow wood and he smirks at your pout. You release the gum, letting it dangle off the pencil as you hiss, "You could have poked my fucking eye out, Munson."

"Damn," he whistles, motioning with the gummy pencil towards your lips, "Read my mind sweetheart, put this back in there and I'll try again."

Your spine prickles with a familiar heat as you place your hands on your hips. “What the hell is your problem?”

Eddie laughs, gesturing to his chest with the pencil, “My problem? Princess, you showed up late on our first fucking day with a hickey from Harrington and you’re already starting your get under Eddie’s skin on purpose shit with the gum…” He blinks at you, trailing off as you tilt your head to the side with narrowed eyes, “What?”

Your arms cross over your chest. “How’d you know it was from Steve?”

Eddie’s cheeks start to turn pale pink and he chucks the pencil in the garbage, gum and all and turns towards the registers, “I-I uh-”

The double doors swing open forcefully, making you both squint against the harsh light as several voices start yelling over each other. 

“La, la, la, la, can’t hear you,” Dustin Henderson sings as he puts his hands over his ears, beelining towards the arcade. 

Mike Wheeler is fast on his heel, shouting about something you can’t quite make out. Will Byers and Lucas Sinclair head towards the two of you with smiles that tell you they’re already up to no good and it’s only the first day of summer. 

Eddie shakes his head, “No. I know what you’re about to ask, no.”

Lucas places his hands into a prayer in front of his chest, “Eddie, Mr. Munson, if I can just have a minute of your time to tell you our very reasonable request and walk you through an opportunity that you are for sure wanna hear about.”

“You’re not getting free Icee’s. You know what you did.” Eddie points towards the arcade without another word and the two boys’ shoulders fall, turning on their heels. He calls out after them, “And why aren’t you all working? Little old to spend your day in the arcade still, isn’t it boys?”

The four old teens flip him off and then convene around Dragon Slayer, groaning as they look at the screen then over at him. He salutes with two fingers and they all raise two hands, double flipping him off. 

[quillusquillus]

finally watched the Discovery show finale two parter, impressed that they managed to avoid the star trek curse of terrible show ending episodes, maybe cried a leeettle bit

super duper sad to say goodbye to the show tbh, from an absolutely terrible first season it just built and built (getting Dr. McDonald in as the trek science adviser in like s3 (I think) made SUCH a difference whew), every season getting better and better. A flawed show but man the core themes... they just hit me so hard man. also the final season is literally a bounty hunter treasure hunt crossed with an indianna jones movie I had SO MUCH FUN AA

No spoilers but also very very curious about the final ending part, leading into .... ??? not sure even the writers know lol, definitely curious to see if there will be a spiritual successor to Discovery connecting to that because we sure need it if Boring Old Worlds continues the tyranny of Alex and his head writer choices yeeugh

[fatfables]

Camp Shawn: Intro to my gainer novel.

Read the rest of the story at https://www.fatfables.com/camp-shawn-part-one

1.

“What the fuck do you want from me?”

“If you make me go there then I’m going to kill myself!”

Martha just rolled her eyes. She was tired of the hyperbole.

“You can’t make me do this, I’m almost an adult!”

But that was exactly the point. Shawn was seventeen years and ten months old, only two months away from legally being allowed to decide for himself. They had made a joint decision, while they still had the power to do so.

“I can’t believe you’re calling me fat!”

Shawn was trying to bring on the waterworks but it wasn’t quite happening. He knew that he was fat. He had always been a chubby kid but he had somehow managed to gain close to fifty pounds over the last two years of high school and he hadn’t gotten any taller. Everyone had noticed.

His parents weren’t just concerned about the weight gain, it was also his attitude. Even by teenage standards Shawn had become sulky, entitled, and non-compliant. The simplest of tasks was too much for him. He never cleaned away his plate after dinner. He never emptied the dishwasher, and he never tidied his room.

The only things that he seemed to have any energy for were computer games, eating, complaining, - and that other bad habit that all teenage boys have.

He would spend hours in his room never seemingly engaging with anyone else, only letting his Mom in once a week to clean away the dirty dishes, take-out containers, and crusty XL t-shirts.

Although it was his Mom who nagged him most it was his Dad, Steve, who had come up with the idea.

“But he’ll just refuse,” Martha had said.

“He won’t have any choice. His birthday is on the penultimate day of camp. He needs it, Martha. Not just to lose weight but to install some discipline in him. You must have noticed how bad his attitude has become recently?”

It had been agreed on, booked and paid for, three weeks before Shawn had even been informed about it. All the whining and crocodile tears were in vain. Shawn was going to fat camp.

2.

Shawn was the only one of his friends going to camp that summer. His indignance wasn’t just brought about by the fact that his parents wanted him to lose weight. He was too old for camp. He knew that he would be one of the oldest boys there, if not the oldest. While his friends would be out partying, making fake IDs, and trying to get laid, he would be forced to exercise and eat healthy with a bunch of stupid fucking fat kids. God, he hated his parents. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone?

The flight out to Indianna was long, boring, and delayed. The bus ride was even worse. He spent the whole time eating twinkies and staring at his phone. His Mom had sent him seven messages. He ignored them all. At the airport he had tried to buy cigarettes but had been embarrassingly refused by the clerk. He didn’t even smoke. He just knew how much becoming a smoker would piss off his parents.

Now, at about three pm, nine hours after leaving home, the bus finally arrived at the gates to the camp.

3.

Shawn got off the bus. He was surprised that he was the only one to do so. All the other campers seemed to have arrived in cars delivered by their parents. Wrapped up and presented to the councillors, tubby little gifts for their sadistic enjoyment. Shawn kicked himself. Why hadn’t he just got the bus to his Grandparents in Chicago instead? He had them wrapped around his little finger.

The majority of the other kids did seem younger than Shawn. The age range of the camp was fourteen to eighteen and most of the kids that he could see hanging around the courtyard outside the camp reception were clearly in the lower section of this range. He did though spot two or three boys who appeared to be about his age.

He shuffled forward towards the main hut where the reception sign hung. He was in no rush as he was still chewing on his last twinkie. He had decided to get his fill on the journey before the deprivation hit.

He pushed the door open and was greeted by an immensely large woman sitting behind a makeshift desk, she was eating donuts and slurping on a super-sized soda.

“Welcome,” she smiled. “First time here? What’s your name?” 

“Shawn, Shawn Stringer.” 

She tapped at her computer and looked confused. 

“Give me a minute, I’m trying to find you.”

Shawn held his eyes down at his feet. He really didn’t want to be there and this delay wasn’t helping his mood to improve. The obese lady filled the awkward silence. 

“I bet you’re looking forward to your time with us?”

“Er…no!”

Shawn wasn’t able to lie when he was feeling this agitated. How was this mountainous fucking bitch going to help him to lose weight? 

“Oh” she said with apparent genuine surprise, “Most of our campers really look forward to coming here. We have an eighty seven percent return rate.”

“They must be fucking morons.”

“I like your attitude, young man.” Her voice was stern now causing Shawn to miss-hear her.

Shawn thought that she was rattled, clearly most campers never spoke to her in this way. He stayed quiet. Enough people had questioned his attitude in the last few months to know that it was best not to say anything in these situations. It didn't matter what he said next, it would only make it worse.

“Found you.” She threw a key across the makeshift desk at him.

“You’re in cabin six with the other older boys. You can find your own way there.”

4.

The door to cabin six was already open as Shawn sauntered through it. With his birthday at the end of the summer he was one of the youngest in his school year. He nonchalantly threw his bag down onto a bed.

“Hey, that’s my bed!”

The boy was massive. Shawn stared at his gut. He was eighty, no, almost a hundred pounds heavier than Shawn.

“Sorry” Shawn muttered nervously. 

“It’s alright dude, you’re clearly a newbie” the massive boy was looking at Shawns chubby little belly as he spoke.

“I’ve been sleeping in that bed for the past three years, but you couldn’t’ve known that. My name’s Axel.”

Been here for the past three years? What size did he fucking used to be? 

“Hi, I’m Shawn,” said Shawn.

There were only two other boys in the cabin, despite the fact that it had twelve beds. Shawn had been truly unlucky to throw his bag on a bed that was already taken. The other two were, Henry and Steve, twins from Minnesota, identically fat. At the weigh-in the next day, Shawn would discover that they were both exactly two hundred and eighty nine pounds, fifty nine pounds heavier than him.

Looking at the size of the other boys really made Shawn wonder how anyone could think that he needed to go to fat camp. God, he hated his parents.

When he had first arrived in the courtyard he hadn’t really paid much attention to the size of the other kids. It was afterall a fat camp so being surrounded by obesity wasn’t initially a surprise. Sitting in the dining hall, waiting to be served, he was only now taking in just how big some of these kids were, especially some of the younger ones. Boys three years his junior dwarfed him. Their bellies sprawled out into their laps as they eagerly awaited their dinner. Some of them were fat and round like butter balls, others were wide and plump, fat spilling over their sides. Some boys had breasts as large as any well developed teenage girl, some had heavy sagging bellies that folded over their thighs. One or two had huge ball guts that made it look like they would struggle to reach the cutlery on the table in front of them.

“Why the fuck am I here?” Shawn accidentally spoke out loud.

“The same reason as the rest of us” laughed Henry, who was squeezed in next to him on the wooden bench.

Steve and Axel who were sat opposite giggled.

“There’s only one reason any of us are here” said Steve with a grin. Axel smiled and patted his humongous belly.

Shawn was a little surprised to discover that the first night's meal was pizza, but he didn’t say anything or complain as he greedily gulped down the greasy pepperoni. The portions were generous and he was so enjoying his meal that he didn’t even think to consider it strange when they were given ice cream sundaes for dessert. He went back to the cabin with the other boys feeling contentedly full.

As soon as they arrived back the three experienced boys immediately produced all types of chocolate and candy from their bags and started munching with poorly hidden glee. Fucking fat fucks, thought Shawn, unsurprised that they had snook in cheat treats. As he watched them chat and eat, his belly grumbled and he became sad at the realisation that he hadn’t thought to bring any contraband. He wanted to ask the other boys if he could share some of theirs, but he badly wanted them to like him, so he kept quiet.

“Hey Shawn, why you not got any…” Axel was interrupted by the counsellor at the door.

Shit they’re in trouble now, thought Shawn. Jim filled the doorway, he looked at the three fat boys, their puffed out cheeks chewing away, wrappers littering the beds and floor around them, before he turned to Shawn.

Jim was twenty one but didn’t look more than a year or so older than the campers in cabin six. He was also just as fat as them. Shawn looked at the young tight skin on his face, stretched out into a full circle by the fat that clung to his skull. He had a thick double chin that hung down to the top of his t-shirt. The words ‘Camp Counsellor’ were printed across his bulging chest. The t-shirt was too tight and too small, clearly from a previous year. Shawn could see the bottom part of Jim’s stomach sticking out from underneath it. Shawn realised that he was staring.

“Hi, I’m Jim, you must be Shawn?”

Shawn stood up and they shook hands. Jim’s hands were big and soft, his handshake kind and friendly. They exchanged pleasantries and Jim left wishing the boys a good night, saying that he would come and collect them all in the morning for the pre-breakfast weigh in.

“Wow, that was lucky!” Shawn exclaimed as soon as Jim shut the door. The boys all gave him a confused look. 

“Whad’ya mean?” It was Steve that spoke. 

“You almost got caught!” 

“Doing what?” replied Axel.

“Eating!” said Shawn

Henry laughed a fake laugh like he didn’t know what he was laughing at. The other two just looked at him gone out. The perplexion on Shawn’s face must have given him away. Suddenly, Henry  burst out into uncontrollable laughter. Steve joined in. Axel was the last to catch on.

“Whad’ya mean we’ve got another one? Like little Timmy in the first year?”

“Yeah I think so,” Henry said.

“Shawn, what exactly do you think this place is?” asked Steve. Delight in the expectation of the answer twinkled in his eyes. 

“Well, it’s a erm…” Shawn was really unsure of himself now. 

“It’s a… er... fat camp… you know… to er… lose weight.”

The three boys howled with laughter. Henry and Steve both fell off the bed. It was so funny. Their fat bodies slammed onto the floor. Shawn was sure that he felt the cabin shake.

“Sorry, sorry,” said Axel, “We don’t mean to be mean. It’s a fat camp, by which I mean it’s a Fat Camp,” he was purposefully emphasising the words.

But Shawn still didn’t get it.

“Fat Camp,” Henry was now joining in from the floor, repeating the words over and over, “Fat Camp, Fat Camp.”

Shawn was still puzzled, his brain kind of frozen, not wanting to say anything else stupid.

“Dude.. it’s a camp where you gain weight,” Steve said finally.

“Why the fuck would anybody want to do that?” 

The boys once again rolled around in fits of laughter.

“Oh boy!” said Axel, with a glint in his eye, “You’re going to have fun finding out!”

Read the rest of the story at https://www.fatfables.com/camp-shawn-part-one

[dystopiansocietystraw]

so i have something to confess. i haven't actually finished rdr2, im currently only on chapter four. i just have this disease where i usually can't help but talk to people about things i like, which means going online most of the time, lol. this is compounded by the fact that i don't want to do story missions because i dont want it to be over!

anyways, my boyfriend has finished the game (he recommended it to me, and i played the first two chapters on his playstation lol) and he told me that chapter five is radically different and in an unaccessable and radically different area of the map. so, where did my mind go?

BEACH EPISODE!!!! ⛱️

the more i thought about it, the more sense it made. dutch and the other boys keep talking about tahiti, and why not sample the lifestyle in america before you fully commit and cross the pond???? it would have pretty different flora and fauna to the desert, mountain, and woody locations that are currently accessible. a beach type episode isn't very plot heavy and is just about rest and recooperation, which considering each chapter so far has just ended in bigger and bigger shootouts i think they would need by this point.

i love thinking about it, all the gang in funny old time swimsuits, arthur especially in stripey longjohns and those round straw hats. jack would look so adorable in a little swimsuit, although to be fair, he would probably just swim naked at the time/with the general attitude of the gang. everyone would get tanner and healthier, and you could just spend days fishing and doing fun, nothing-but-fluff missions, and bonding with the other characters.

some images for your consideration,

how CUTE!!!!!

anyways my boyfriend has told me that im not correct, which is a bummer but its still fun to think about. and i might draw arthur in a bathing suit anyways. although that makes me wonder if they might be going to the jungle for some indianna jones escapades...... lol

just thought i would share :)

[kn-1013]

Childhood Crushes

Rating: T Ships: Reigen Arataka/Serizawa Katsuya, can be read as platonic or romantic Words: 655 AO3: NormalCaptive

Summary: Reigen and Serizawa talk childhood crushes.

Notes: A Serizawa-focused character study. I kind of wish this one were longer, but oh well. It's more than Terry Pratchett wrote in a single day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So," Reigen said, catching Serizawa's attention. "Who was it for you?" 

They were both at a relatively empty and quiet ramen restaurant after a long day's work. Mob wasn't there for work that day, so it was just the two of them. Reigen had something that looked quite fancy and delicious, with extra pieces of pork added to the soup, whereas Serizawa tried to go for something closer to the instant noodles he was so used to eating, something simple. 

"What do you mean?" Serizawa said, mouth quite full of noodles. 

"Well, everyone has childhood crushes, right?" Reigen said, taking another bite. Serizawa shrugged. "I s'pose so." "Well, when you're some flavor of gay, you often don't know that, and something has to slap you in the face with it for you to get it. At least, that's how it happened for me." Serizawa hummed. "Usually, it's celebrities, too. For me? That American guy, Harrison Ford." Serizawa blinked. "From Indianna Jones?" Reigen nodded. "All those posters of him and the movie covers with his broad chest out in the open, ugh." Reigen snickered. "I don't know how my parents didn't know, like immediately. I had him all over my room." 

Serizawa raised a brow. "Poster over the bed?" Reigen nodded solemnly. "Poster over the bed." 

Serizawa gave a small chuckle. 

"See, I had crushes on mostly female characters, like Lara Croft--" "Tomb Raider." "--Yeah, Tomb Raider. Lara Croft in all her polygonal glory." Serizawa chuckled and took another bite of his food. "But what really changed things for me was Metal Gear Solid 2." "The only thing I know about Metal Gear Solid is that guy is called Solid Snake, for some reason." Reigen laughed. "It's Kojima, he kind of just does that." Serizawa said. "The character's real name is David, but something-something snakes are stealthy." He chuckled.

"But anyway, in Metal Gear Solid 2, there's a character called Vamp who is bisexual. That's what introduced the concept to me. I did more digging wherever I could on the early 2000s internet, learned what the term meant, and, well, that's when things started making sense. And then, for years, I had a crush on him." Serizawa took another bite, reminiscing a bit. "Though, he was a more minor character. I don't think there were any posters with just him on them. Or, if there were, I didn't have them." 

"This is why you should've had a gay crush on a popular character, so you could kiss the poster goodnight." Reigen said, very matter-of-fact. 

Serizawa almost choked. "Did you-?" Reigen snickered. "You know, I can't say." "Oh my god." 

Serizawa pointed his chopsticks loosely toward Reigen. "You're a hot mess, you know that?" Reigen laughed. "Haven't heard that one before!" He said sarcastically. 

"At least my guy wasn't a vampire named Vamp, and drinking people like Gogurts!" 

"Okay--No, he's not called Vamp because he drinks blood, according to the dialogue, he's a vampire because he's bisexual." Reigen almost spit out his food in confused laughter. "What? How does that make sense!" Serizawa threw his hands up. "I'm just as confused as you are! I don't think anyone actually knows what the hell that line meant." 

Right then, Serizawa had realized that for the first time, he had a friend right in front of him. Not online, right there. Someone who was actually interested in what he had to say, who was engaging with him. He cared about his online friends, but he had forgotten what it was like to be around another person. That friends online couldn't alone be a replacement for in-person connection, at least not for him. This was someone who he could reach out and touch, someone real. 

Someone whose genuine smile didn't show often, but when it did, it lit up his world. Someone who showed him to be confident, someone who believed in him. 

He could get used to this. 

[sims-snippets]

While moseying about the beach, Guidry came upon a stray. He bonded instantly and named them Indianna. Camille did not want a second and much larger dog, but was eventually swayed by Guidry. He adopted Indianna.

Atticus became a regular Computer Team member, Avery became the Chess Team captain.

[violets-and-books]

They're called Crow Company. Jordie and Kaz went to training and met Jesper there but Jesper dropped out from gambling debt and Kaz went on without him. Eventually Jesper went back and they brought him back into Crow Company, Kaz's new Company he was commanding.

Kaz was sent to Britain after Jordie died and his leg was broken, and Inej was his resident nurse. She was with him in his darkest moments, and Inej had recently been rescued from a trafficking ring that got discovered and shut down by soldiers. She was sent back home and fought to be a nurse until finally they relented and gave her the job because she had the medical experience. They meet at their lowest, so their bond is really strong before they even get feelings for each other.

Wylan and Matthias get really close because they're found and taken in (mostly Jesper's fault) and so they get pretty close. Wylan starts to work with Matthias because Matthias is good at opening things and breaking things so Wylan asks him for help a lot. Of course Kaz is like "you shouldn't be talking to the prisoners" and Wylan is like "this one is fine" and Kaz is like "🙄" because he doesn't trust the enemy at all because they took his brother away, it's hard for him to care that Matthias isn't even German.

Nina and Jesper get really close because Jesper will punch anyone who comments on Nina being a "girl" in a derogatory sense right in the nose. Nina bandages him up right after this and they make fun of the annoying new privates together. Jesper eventually comes out to her and she's ofc very supportive and tells him she likes men and women like him (because obviously they didn't really understand what bisexual was) and so these two have amazing solidarity.

Crow WWII friendship thoughts bestie enjoy.

THOUGHTS YAYYYYYY

Course they're called Crow Company. That's gonna punch me in the gut at some point, isn't it?

OH, JESPER DROPPING OUT COS OF DEBT LIKE HIS UNI THING!!! BESTIE YOU ARE SO SMART

Britain 💪💪 /jjj

Kaz and Inej meeting at their lowest,,, 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I just need a minute, hold on

INEJ SUPPORTING KAZ AND SEEING HIM THROUGH HIS DARKEST TIMES COS YOU KNOW THE POOR GUY HAD TERRIBLE PTSD DREAMS WHEN HE LEFT THE FRONT, YOU JUST KNOW-

I'm totally normal about them (lying)

WYLAN AND MATTHIAS YAYYYYYY

The Wylan and Matthias agenda grows!!!!

Kaz: You can't work with convicts

Wylan: This one's good at breaking stuff

Kaz: Can't argue with that

Mmmmmm, Kaz's trust issues, yummmm

Jesper punching sexists, I adore him!!!! Recast Indianna Jones as Jesper, honestly (that gives me an idea)

Nina and Jesper bitching about the new privates together, oh I'm in love

I did enjoy, very much, thank you!!!