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rjhpandapaws · 3 years ago

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Congrats on the 160 followers!

For your ask event, could I please give you the prompt of “Firsts”? More specifically “First fight”.

I’m thinking canon-verse, established relationship Reed900 with Gavin not realising that his strong, resilient boyfriend actually needs a lot more attention and affection than he lets on. The cause of the fight could be anything, maybe a forgotten anniversary, but I wanna see a fluffy fluffy reconciliation in your trademark writing style!

Thanks Panda!!!❤️❤️❤️

//thank you Maya!!! Also I live this idea

Gavin was many things, but emotionally aware was not one of them. Which was in his humble opinion why he and Nines worked so well, being with Nines didn’t require that much emotional investment. Or so he had thought anyway. He didn’t really notice Nines pulling away from him until he was nearly gone, though now that he was looking back he could see some of the steps that were taken. As they said hindsight was twenty-twenty; but that wasn’t going to help him fix his relationship. Knowing that he was wrong wasn’t going to keep him from losing the best thing that had ever happened to him. It started out slowly enough, Nines started spending fewer nights at Gavin’s apartment, they didn’t live together so that wasn’t entirely unusual. Sometimes Nines needed time to himself, emotions were new to him and they could be overwhelming at times. Or that was what Gavin told himself, his boyfriend was bullet proof and nearly indestructible so it was hard to imagine anything else being wrong. Nines hadn’t been designed to feel anything so it was easy to convince himself that Nines only needed space to process. Then the coffees had stopped. Richard expressed himself largely through actions, and he expressed affection specifically through gifts, in Gavin’s case coffee. There was a stretch of weeks where the coffees were few and far between, but that was because they were working a big case and there just wasn’t time, though by the time the case had been closed they had stopped all together. Which Gavin hadn’t noticed until then because he was only human and could only put all of his focus on one thing at a time; and the maybe issue with Nines was not the thing that needed his attention at the time. It would pass, Nines just needed space.

Connor had been the last straw. It wasn’t that he thought Nines was cheating, he knew better than that. The reason Connor was the last straw was because of how Connor saw Nines. Nines was his little brother despite being the bigger and arguably more powerful of the two; Connor had been around longer and knew a little more about how things worked. Moreover Connor had loved, he knew what it was supposed to look like. Gavin didn’t particularly want to be on the bad side of someone made to get away with crimes. Either of them actually, though he feared Connor more than Nines. Nines looked the part, Connor did not, and there would have been people who argued that Gavin deserved it. So he needed to fix this before it got to that point. Easier said than done because Nines was actively avoiding him, which Gavin was sort of impressed by considering as they were partners. He would disappear at the end of their shift without giving Gavin a chance to say anything. It was getting frustrating. How was he supposed to fix things when he wasn’t being given a chance to learn what was wrong. That would change soon though. Things came to a head on a Friday afternoon. They were in Gavin’s car riding back from a scene when he couldn’t hold his tongue anymore. “Can you tell me what I did at least?” He asked, taking his eyes off the road long enough to glance at Nines, “If you’re going to avoid me.” “I’m not avoiding you.” Came the calculated reply, “I am putting as much effort into this relationship as you are.” Gavin wanted to call bullshit, “What do you mean?”

“I always come to you when we are together. I bring you coffee when we’re at the station.” He replied and there was anger at the very edge of his voice and something else, “But I get nothing back. I pull away and you can’t be bothered to check until Connor and I put in to swap partners.” “You what?” Gavin snapped, that shouldn’t have been what caught him and he knew it, “You’re going to work with Hank? Nines, what the hell?” “I don’t see another option Gavin. Clearly you want space and this seems the best way to handle that.” Nines replied, his voice back to level, “And I need time to reevaluate things apparently because I thought we were on the same page.” Gavin would have stared at him if he weren’t driving. Getting in a car accident didn’t seem like a good way to break the tension, “What is it exactly that made you think I wanted space? You have a multi-million dollar brain so what made it jump to that conclusion out of all of them.” “Your emotional distance for one thing. Humans are meant to feel things and unless you’re mad there usually isn’t anything.” Nines explained, “The fact that it has taken you four months to realize something is wrong despite my trying to bring it up several times. Out of all the things that should have upset you, what got a reaction out of you is that I would rather shadow the Lieutenant than be ignored.” Gavin sighed as they pulled into the station. “Then go.” He said, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do and there was no point in keeping Nines if he didn’t want to stay, “I clearly can’t make you happy so find someone who will.” He heard a computerized something come from Nines followed by a burst of static, and then he was gone. The echo of the car door closing sounded almost like a judge’s gavel coming down. Gavin couldn’t shake the feeling that he had made a mistake.

As much as Gavin hated the saying that you didn’t know what you had until it was gone, he found it was true. After months of working, if it could be called that, with Connor, he missed Nines. There was more to it than that as well. He spent a lot of time watching Nines, and he noticed that he wasn’t nearly as emotionally flat as Gavin had believed him to be. He wasn’t as expressive as Connor, but he showed what he was in small ways. Or perhaps Gavin was just seeing this now because he and Hank treated their partners so differently. As much as he and Hank had their personal differences and opinions, Gavin would be one of the first to admit that Hank was more kind to the people he worked with than Gavin was. Perhaps it was his general disposition, or maybe because Hank had multiple partners over his career and that made him easier to work with. Where given his prickly nature Gavin tended to work on his own and didn’t handle team work well. Though the one nice thing about this was he was learning from a distance how to handle Nines. While Gavin wasn’t a nurturer by nature in the way that Hank was, or at all really, it was nice to learn that was what Nines responded the most to. It made sense in a way as well since that was the same way that he took care of others. Hank would bring him a pouch of thirium or a cup of something to sample whenever he got up to get coffee; the same thing he had seen him do with Connor. He made an effort to learn about Nines and make conversation with him, which Gavin tried as well, but he wasn’t all that chatty unless he was drunk so that wasn’t on the table. He knew now, in a sense, what to do to try and fix this.

It took him longer than he would have liked, and a significant amount of pushing from Connor before Gavin was ready to confront his mistake. Nines had seemed so happy without him, so it was easy for him to believe that it was better like this; for Nines at least. Connor agreed to help him so that week Gavin got himself mentally prepared and made plans for the end of the week on how he was going to do this. He was going to fox this, or at least apologize if Nines was already moved on. Here was the thing about having plans and anxiety, time became a myth and the day you were fearing came after what felt like a thirty minute nap. Friday was there before Gavin had psyched himself up enough, but he couldn’t back out because he was pretty sure Connor would come after him if he did. His plan started with a small detour before work. He stopped at a cafe that he learned Nines liked and ordered something for him, he could make coffee for himself at the station. When he got back to the car he put the sticky note that he rewrote at least a hundred times on the lid and drove to the station. He hoped this wasn’t too cheesy, but Nines liked solving mysteries so Gavin was praying this would work. He set the cup on Nines’s desk as he walked to his own. Nines either wasn’t in yet or busy which made things easier on Gavin, he wasn’t sure he could explain himself if he had been asked. It was a matter of courage as well as the plan was entirely contingent on the first sticky note working. Connor had agreed to set the rest of them up, mostly because he didn’t want Gavin to chicken out which was an entirely valid point. As often as he stuck to his guns when it came to his opinions and getting into fights, when it came to personal matters he was much less bold. This was important though so he was going to stick to it. He spent more time staring at Nines’s desk than he did working, even after Nines had come back. Luck had him missing Nines studying the cup, but he did see him put the sticky note on his monitor which he hoped was a good thing.

His plan started with a scavenger hunt that brought Nines to the places that meant the most to the two of them and places he had known Nines to find privately special for reasons Gavin wasn’t privy to. Each place had a sticky note with a clue, he had asked Connor to come up with a code for it, something that Nines would have to work at a little to solve. He would have done it on his own, but Nines had a powerful mind and Gavin didn’t so it only seemed fair that he level he playing field a little. He didn’t know the system Connor had used but he did know the answer. He wanted this to work, but even if it didn’t he hoped Nines would enjoy himself while he did it. The day passed slowly for Gavin because of his worry. He didn’t feel like he got all that much done which was unusual. Going back to the apartment seemed daunting as he made his way to his car, there would be one of two results when he got back and he wasn’t sure he was ready to face either one. The best option meant putting in consious effort into being more aware of what Nines needed from him, and the worst one meant he had done too little too late. He was tempted to detour but didn’t, because not having an answer was almost worse. He was distracted on the drive home and made his way back on autopilot. He parked and took a moment to gather himself, he would get an answer tonight. He needed to focus on that rather than what the answer would be. This awkward uncomfortable thing would be ending today, either in a second chance or closure, but it was ending today. That was Gavin’s silver lining.

There wasn’t anyone outside of his apartment when he got up to it. He ignored the ache in his chest in favor of hoping Nines was only late. Connor had made the code so it probably wasn’t easy, it would take time. He turned his key in the lock and opened the door, instead of being greeted by his cat he was met with dim lighting and music. In the middle of it stood Nines. Gavin probably would have cried if he could get his emotions in order. “You came....” Was what he managed instead, breathed above a whisper and carrying the weight of all of the things he was feeling. He let the door fall shut behind him as he tried to gather himself. “Of course I did.” Nines replied as he made his way closer, “I learned what I put you through today, and I only thought it would be fitting to put as much effort into my apology as you did yours. That’s what you do when you love someone.” That broke Gavin and this time the tears came unbidden. He hugged Nines and buried his face in his chest, this wasn’t something he had expected. All those months he assumed Nines to be better off, happy even, without him there. He hadn’t known he was hurting. He didn’t have the words to express as much, and it didn’t seem that he needed to. Nines closed his arms around Gavin and ran his fingers through his hair. He made a sound that seemed more contemplative than comforting, but Gavin figured he was trying his best.

“You were so quiet that day Gavin. I expected more of a fight from you, but you just pulled away.” Nines said after a moment, there was remorse in his words, “I didn’t know then that it was because you were hurting. I thought you had just given up. I was so upset I didn’t go into stasis for days.” He paused for a moment, “Hank explained things to me, how humans react when they’re hurt and I realized how I had messed up, but I didn’t know how to fix it. You got to that first. I want you to know that I love you and I never stopped, and I don’t plan to.”

@asset35-maya

(Prompt from this list)

#Canonverse 'short'#reed900 #dbh gavin #dbh nines #dbh fic #dbh #160 follower ask event!#ask panda #panda has all the answers!

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evanthefunky · 2 years ago

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Some of the things that made me 🤌feel something✨ in Stranger Things s4 that definitely weren't supposed to: (kinda began to rant/ramble, but im funny so you should still read it)

- as a part of the "I watch everything with subtitles" gang, the amount of goofy description subtitles is bonkers. In a good way- i, too, would describe that sound as squelching, but that, like, implies wetness? Must one put "squelches wetly" ??? Also, the amount of "eldritch" as a descriptor. Jeez. You know you can say "weird", "sinister", or "ghastly", right? I mean, ok, sinister is used. But like yo. My favorite subtitle has been "eldritch thrumming".

- Henry/Vecna/One/Orderly's timeline. (More below cut)

I dont know how old we're assuming he is, since I haven't finished episode 9 (ITS TWO HOURS AND FUCKING 22 MINUTES THAT IS SO GODDAMN FUCKING ABSURD) so idk if there's been clarity but like. One looks not a day over 25 in 1983 which is when I assume El escapes the lab. But Jamie was probably 28-31 when filming the show, since he's 33, as of when I searched him last night. And Two looks MAAAAAYbe fuckn 17, more likely 14/15. So like. How old was Henry when he committed the murders, how old was he when he became One, how old was he when he became an orderly instead, how old was he when he became Vecna??? EXPLAIN TO ME.

- while I'm thinking about it. This . Is a goddamn. Television show. Right? I grew up in the golden days (everyone romanticized their childhood experiences, im no exception, yes this is a huge generalization and recognize for yourself if you agree with this and please just let me continue, im feeling cynical toward myself) where something called Television (or TV) shows had seasons of about 20 episodes at least, and each episode was anywhere between 20-45 minutes. And. It worked great. Sure, without commercials, you have to fill a whole half/full hour of content, but like. Tv shows these days... I dont remember the last one I watched that was from these days that was longer than 10 episodes, if it even reached that! If each fucking episode of ST had an outrageous budget of like 3something MILLION dollars....... don't u think u could. Chop it up a little bit. ? Each episode is literally already episodic. Plenty of places to cut and make a new episode. Is it because you're afraid of losing attention? Babes, i wouldn't have even watched the show if it hadn't been for an edit of the characters. Sure, maybe im in the minority. But like. God, this show is so fucking long. I've already watched 10 hrs of content for a TV show and you're asking me to spend 2:22 hrs more??????????? Bruh. Split that shit into at least 2 episodes. What.

- this is kinda at fandom, kinda at the d bros- I was led to believe Eddie was in this show waaaaay more than he actually is. He's. Hes barely in this show, and he's certainly not as interesting as im led to believe. Nor is Robin, but that's for another point. Well actually,

- the script does not do right by Robin and Eddie. I believe they are played by good actors! I have no reason to not believe that. Theyre putting their hearts into their jobs here, so props to Maya and Joe. But like. They have the weakest, most obviously quippy lines that simply aren't delivered well. Robin seems to be an afterthought even if a lot of her storyline is kinda spotlit. Honestly, thats the most well done part of her character, and I hate to say that, bc queer people are more than our love lifes or lack thereof! But the rest of her outside wanting to be with a girl is made to be this typical against the grain ~girl~ who doesn't like feminine clothes and can't walk in heels, etc. She feels like all the cliches of a typical anti-main girl and put lesbian on top as a cherry. It just feels weak and like a little over the top. To be clear, I'm not saying she shouldn't be a lesbian. Also, I understand that I wasn't around in the 80s, and I dont know what someone had to do to be obvious to other queers but not obvious to non-queers. But it feels like a disservice or not as well done as it could be. And Eddie... kinda has the same amalgamation of pile of labels. Metal head, dnd dm, guitarist, has charisma but will run at the first sign of danger, also a fan favorite of queer fans (possibly projecting). There's more to each of these characters, but it feels like they, with all this potential, max out the space theyre in and one of them (if theyre in the same scene) has to be chosen over the other. Its just a disservice. It really isn't even a surprise to me, as we close out episode 8, that Eddie doesn't matter ultimately to the story except to be a sacrifice. Theres not growth or development beyond him deciding to not run anymore. Joe's voice may be music, but the lines that seem most genuine to Eddie are improvised rather than written. Which is not !!!!! A!!!!! Good!!!! Sign!!! *sigh*. Anyway I think im done about them. They just feel like they take up as much space as they can and are still flat. They have lots of facets as interesting character with the potential to be more, but either the performances of the written script or the boundaries of it limit people I imagine could actually be pretty fucking good.

- maybe its because I never have, but like, my god, I dont care about the adults storyline. Since season 1, I have skipped nearly every scene for the adults, simply because I could not bother. Part of the reason I started s4 was for the actor of Anatov- I think this actor is neat and I've liked his other two characters I've seen (from Game of Thrones and Jack Ryan). So hearing that he was in s4 was cool, but since he's attached to Hopper's storyline, its hard to really give a shit. Also, his directing and line delivery hasn't been very great. His physical choices made... I feel like they are unrealistic? I just. I like him because I like the actor and I like that he isn't a total dick, but I also don't care to worry about Hopper's storyline, so I dont watch it much. When the stakes are low, I wish they weren't made out to be life or death when Hopper just needs to figure out his development without getting to do a lot of action, and you're golden, and dont need to watch any more. Sure, its neat, but I know that Hopper and Joyce and Murray are gonna be fine, so like.... whats the point. You're not making me care any more about these characters. Altho Murray is indeed funny as hell, God bless.

- I do love the music and score of this season. Its very in tuned with itself, it knows what stranger things sounds like. And so that remix of the Journey song at the end of episode 8 was 1000% a banger and so cool because already its a cinematic, iconic song, but then you mix it to fit better with your over-arching shows score and. God, it sounds so cool!!!!

- steve and Eddie's dynamic. Fandom does exaggerate their relationship a little bit, but not really in a way thats too far-reaching. I think, mostly, that the duffer bros were too scared or didn't even think to see it as queer, even if Joe was exuding charm from his pores and confirming with fans that he was being a little flirty. Now, of course, it may have partially been a lie to appease fans and audiences. But like also. I see where people are putting on their "I see gay" goggles. Maybe I pause the show too much to laugh or ramble frustratedly at the content, but its. Idk. Not really what I see.

Ultimately, I probably harmed my own viewing experience with my decision to see the show as like. Entertainment because its already bad, not really giving much room to be impressed or emotionally influenced. Or maybe I'm just feeling cynical today. Don't know. Either way, par for the course, im disappointed in a show I dont really care that much about. Is that more commentary on me, or culture saying "oh its popular you HAVE to watch it", or my falling into fomo or just wanting to watch something to feel anyrhing..... idk. Hopefully the finale is interesting. I'll probably watch most of it- even the adult storyline scenes.

But I dont have much hope or grace left for it.

#stranger things #stranger things s4 #eddie munson #robin buckley #vecna stranger things

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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years ago

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Family day playing hooky hc

(this turned into another fic. Apparently I don't make the rules anymore)

Read on AO3

It's the beginning of a long summer. Both kids are home - well, not really, since Amy has signed them up for several activities all around the city. Today is arts & crafts time at the children's library wing, Jake notes as he checks their shared calendar before the morning meeting. But they are home, insofar as Mac's school is closed for the summer holidays, and so's Maya's kindergarten. They drop them off at their daily activity in the morning, and the rest of the time they're at his mom's, who's been happily overfeeding them and entertaining them as the proud grandma she is. Or they drop them off at Gramma Peralta’s first, and she drives them to whatever place they were signed up at. It's a pretty good routine, and he's proud of Amy having found so many things for them to do that seem right up their alley, judging from their excited stories during dinner and the ever growing collection of handmade gifts on their living room shelves.

But they're home for the summer, and Jake and Amy have to sit at the sweltering precinct, slogging through paperwork and a dull week of almost no new cases. It's really not fair, Jake thinks. He remembers his summer days with Gina, when Nana would hand them both a couple of dollars and tell them not to be home until sunset at least. They can’t do that, obviously - Mac and Maya are still too young, and Brooklyn has definitely not gotten any safer since his early teens, when it was already questionably sketchy for him and Gina to stalk around the neighbourhoods and buy cheap ice cream and soda at random bodegas. He also remembers those few rare days when his mom would get a day off that did not need to be spent on catching up on housework, or when his dad would finally show up for more than one day and they could plan a little trip (which would actually take place at least 50% of the time). He remembers the aquarium and the zoo and the natural history museum and Central Park and Coney Island.

And they could absolutely do that, he realises, so the decision is pretty much made before he’s even set his bag down at his desk. But he’s patient enough to wait through the morning meeting - blessedly short, because nothing new has come up anyway, and they’re all told to finish up the paperwork and start on re-organising the evidence room. Jake supposes it’s a generally good thing that crime seems to slow down in the summer heat a little, but that’s not really why he’s so happy right now hearing the captain tell them to ‘find something to do anywhere’. He certainly knows what he wants to do already.

Amy’s morning meeting must’ve been just as short, because she’s already at her desk when he jumps down the last steps of the stairwell to her floor. Her uniformed officers mostly give him a quick nod or smile as he passes - it’s not a rare thing to see Detective Peralta come by to visit his wife outside of break times.

“Good morning, Lieutenant.” He smiles at her, and she rolls her eyes with fondness. The title is still pretty new, and he loves to remind her of it any chance he gets.

“Hey babe. We’re not due for lunch for another 4 hours, you know that, right?”

“Yeah there’s no way I’m waiting that long.” He’s still smiling wide, and when she looks up from whatever paper she’s been filling out, she instantly recognises that mischievous glint in his eye.

“What are you planning?”

“Let’s bail the kids out of the library and go somewhere fun. Coney Island? It’s all open since last saturday I think.”

“We have to work, Jake.” Amy levels him with one of those ‘please be a grown-up’ looks, but she knows they seldom get results.

“Do we, Ames? Do we really? Because Holt has us organising the evidence room. I have literally zero open cases on my desk. And how far ahead are you with all your paperwork and organisation?”

She looks sheepishly at the very small stack of papers on her desk.

“About two weeks, I’d say.”

“And you’re saying we can’t take one day off? Just one day of family time? Getting cotton candy and taking Mac on an actual roller coaster now that he’s tall enough and winning a new teddy for Maya because you’re an ace at the fake shooting range?” He wiggles his eyebrows for emphasis, and Amy stifles a snicker. It’s too bad her husband knows exactly how to win her over for most of his childish endeavours.

“I guess it wouldn’t be so bad to take some personal time right now. We’d still have to convince Holt-”

“On it.” Jake slaps her desk in excitement as he gets up, ready to race upstairs and sweet-talk Holt into giving them the day off (or rather, annoy him into it). Only Amy Santiago would request permission from her boss to play hooky, of course, but there’s no way he’s not going to indulge her.

It’s not even fifteen minutes later that he’s back downstairs, his bag already on his shoulder, almost pulling her out of her chair.

“Got the go-ahead, so let’s go!”

“Give me five minutes at least to brief Gary, and change out of my uniform before I leave.”

He sighs and thrums his fingers across his thigh, but obediently watches her talk to her ‘own Amy’, eagerly taking notes about the few things they actually have to remember to do. He refrains from pushing her forwards by the shoulders as she heads to the locker room, deciding to pack up her purse instead (he knows the layout perfectly by now - the calendar and pen goes next to the baby wipes, and the glasses case has to be by the little box of healthy, kid-friendly snacks). But the moment she returns in one of her signature flowery blouses, he grabs her hand and drags her out of the precinct so fast she can barely protest.

-+-

The drive to the library is equally as quick. Amy only manages to slow him down once they step into the actual building, reminding him of the library rules of being quiet and calm.

“Lieutenant Santiago!” The librarian behind the desk greets her - she’s well-known around these parts, obviously. “Back so early? Isn’t your mother-in-law picking up the kids later?”

He should probably call her to tell her about the change of plans, Jake thinks as Amy explains and asks if it’s possible to get Mac and Maya packed up and ready to leave already.

It’s absolutely possible, of course, and Maya proudly shows them the pipe cleaner and yarn figurine she’d just finished making as the kids librarian leads them out to the main floor. Mac, a few feet behind her, seems wary as he hugs them hello.

“Did something happen?” He asks into the hug, quietly, and Jake remembers with a twinge in his heart that the last time someone picked him up unexpectedly early from football practice, it was aunt Rosa, taking him and Maya to the precinct until Amy brought Jake back from hospital after getting knifed by a perp.

“No, buddy, this is a good surprise.” He hugs him back extra tight, ruffling his hair for good measure, and silently cursing his line of work being so shit sometimes.

Mac smiles back at him, luckily, but there is still a bit of hesitation in his eyes, and Jake’s excitement about his own idea of playing hooky falters for the first time. Maybe they should’ve just let the kids enjoy their crafts and grandma-time, and planned a proper day out for the weekend-

“Grandpa Holt gave us today off.” Amy explains as she steps up to the two of them with Maya by her side, and that title still sounds a little weird even years later. “So we thought we could all go out for a fun day at Coney Island!”

The squeal Maya lets out certainly changes Mac’s smile for the better, even as it is quickly shushed down (they’re still in the library after all!), and they’re soon dragged outside to the car by their kids the same way Jake had dragged Amy out of the precinct.

“C’n we get hotdogs?” Maya asks as she clicks her seatbelt closed and Amy smiles at her through the rearview mirror.

“We sure can!”

“Can we go on all the rides?” Mac joins in, and Jake is glad to see there’s absolutely no hesitation on his face anymore.

“All the ones you’re old enough for, sure.”

The questions and cheers and excited chatter keep up during the whole drive, even as Amy calls Karen and barely gets a word in, between the happy interruptions shouted from the backseat, and it takes a lot more to actually keep them together as they step on the boardwalk, Maya already running left to some game parlour while Mac races on ahead to the first ride he sees.

-+-

The rest of the day does not slow down in their whirlwind. Mac decides after three roller coasters that maybe he’s had enough (and Jake is glad they didn’t go through the food stalls before it), but he spins Maya around in the teacups ride like only an older brother could. The ice cream after is well deserved, seeing how sweaty and exhausted they are already, and gives them more than enough energy to hit literally every game they can see. Jake can watch Amy calculating the vast amount of money they’re spending in tokens, but she’s also the first one in line once they reach the toy-shooting range, winning Maya a unicorn plushie and Mac a knock-off superb-man figurine (his wife is a goddamn sharpshooter and he’d be lying if that wasn’t a turn-on). The third shot earns him a wacky pair of sunglasses that make both Amy and Maya giggle in that way he loves the most, and he refuses to take them off for any of the silly pictures they take in front of cutouts, wall art and weird statues.

He’s pushed them up into his hair by the time they get hotdogs (3 for him, 2 for Mac, one each for Amy and Maya), because the sun is already starting to set and he can barely see. Maya begins to shiver as they stroll down the quieter parts of the boardwalk, so he buys her one of those kitschy animal-hoodies all the stalls are touting (they know their clientele too well), and of course Mac immediately needs one too, so now there’s a tiny tiger and a slightly larger dragon running in front of them with cotton candy sticking all over their hands and faces.

Amy slides her arm around his waist as they slow their steps a little to let the kids go ahead, and he lays his across her shoulder as she leans into him.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had more fun playing hooky.” She mumbles, and Jake laughs for a second.

“Amy Santiago, are you telling me you’ve played hooky before? I am shocked. Here I thought I’d married an upstanding girl.”

He gets a soft punch to his side for that before she leans back and whispers.

“Actually, you’ve made me play hooky before, remember? But we didn’t exactly go to an ‘amusement park’…”

“And yet you’re saying this has been more fun. I see where I stand.” He pouts before grinning again, and leans down for a soft kiss. (He definitely remembers the last time they played hooky now.)

“Sorry, babe.” Amy smiles as she looks at Mac and Maya again, currently busy chasing each other and dueling with the sticks left over from their cotton candy. “But this has been such a great day.”

“Yeah, it’s gonna make for one hell of a memory, I hope.” He follows her eyes forward, thinking about that short moment with Mac at the library earlier today. Amy hadn’t heard it, he’s sure, but the look on her face as she pulls him to look at her with a hand on his cheek tells him she knows his thoughts well enough.

“Hey. No sad thinking allowed on such a fun day, okay? We had a great time today and we’re gonna have so many more great days in the future.” She’s still smiling, swiping her thumb across his bottom lip, where he’s sure some cotton candy is still left clinging. “We could take them to the zoo next week.”

“Santiago!” He gasps again. “Are you insinuating-”

“On the weekend.” She leans up to kiss away the last bit of sugar on his mouth. “Like the upstanding girl you married would do, obviously.”

He laughs into the kiss even as he pulls her closer, and it’s only Mac and Maya, running back to them with news of another stand they’ve discovered selling funnel cakes, that makes them break apart again.

-+-

Later, after Jake’s carried a sleepy Maya up to their apartment, and she and Mac have barely had enough energy left in them to brush their teeth and wash their faces free from all the grime and sugar that’s covering it, he falls down on the couch as Amy checks on them one more time to see both fast asleep before the lights are even out.

“Do you feel as tired as the kids?” She says in her deep, sing-song voice that sends goosebumps up his spine, just as much as her hand raking through his hair does as she stands behind the couch.

“Well, it’s been a pretty long day. But I do have more sugar in my system to keep me running, I guess.” He tries to sound nonchalant, but then she leans down to nip on his ear and ‘nonchalance’ is the last thing he’s thinking of.

“Then how about we save time between now and bed by showering together?” She whispers, and he lets his head drop back to actually look at her.

“We have never saved time in the shower together, babe.”

She only smiles at him while humming an M-hm before heading for the bathroom, and he definitely doesn’t waste any time following her.

#b99 #brooklyn 99 #peraltiago #amy santiago #jake peralta #mac peralta #maya peralta #fic #my writing

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steve0discusses · 4 years ago

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The Full Metal Alchemist Live Action Movie Part 8: Watch This Episode Covered in Butts be the Only One Not Flagged by Tumblr

Gonna be risky business and not only upload all of these caps the way I screenshot them--which has just SO MANY poorly CGI’d butts but also gonna do it on the Tumblr Drafts folder, which I have been assured works now.

I’m so worried about so many things, but considering all the fears I have about like...everything else in the world right now...I guess I’ll take a risk on tumblr.

Edit: I cannot believe that I had 8ish episodes of Kaiba’s tall dueling tower get flagged but not this movie. I just....wow I cannot.

So anyway, last we left off, General Hakuro stepped in and was like “Hi guys, you like my wily plans that no one in their right mind would have ever guessed???”

Yo remember this part of the anime? Where the bodies drop from the ceiling and it’s a hunk out of the final arc--it’s here. In this movie. This movie that can’t possibly afford to do that. Lets get some CGI animated bodies in here ASAP.

(see some texture regrets under the cut)

It’s like a Monet, as the Mean Girls say, because far away and shrinked to 500 pixels this looks kinda neat. They sort of look more like those slime ball that grow in the back of your throat rather than human bodies, but they still look pretty gross hanging up there.

But then.....we zoom in. Remember again that this was full screen on my computer, and at one point was on a freakin movie screen. This level of 3d...was on a movie theater screen.

The mind boggles. The mind boggles!

Like as you know, I am an artist, and I’ve dabbled in...basically everything in my pursuit to make a dollar...and I have taken about 2 years of classes in 3D art with Maya and all those. I’m not thaaat great at it--I’m much more an illustrator/painter--but I feel like I have that reference point. Can I just say--the model is...fine...you can do a lot with layers of bump maps so you don’t need a truly detailed model (not like they did that, because they didn’t do that, but I can figure that maybe they had an intention to do that and forgot?)

But, there’s no connection of the wires to bodies. They just kinda float? The bodies are also all the same shiny-ness? To the point that it looks like a copy paste? (I don’t think it is, the wires are slightly different on a few of them) There’s just not much in the way of a texture map or a bump map. It just...there’s also something missing from the skin.

Skin is actually kind of rough to render, so when I did it back in the day, I followed like a checklist to make sure I had all the layers and steps to make someone look...clammy. Some things are kinda translucent, they reflect light a different way...especially white skin like this wouldn’t be just...white like putty. Dunno if you ever saw a white person, but we got so many veins...there was so much potential to make something really gross and fleshy.

Instead we got silly putty. It’s fine. I’m fine.

So General Hakuro decides to just...kill everyone right now.

This makes no sense to me.

That means that the whole thing of Lust killing Hughes was completely unrelated to General Hakuro. All Hakuro needed was Shou Tucker, who has been in prison for...I assume months since Ed shipped him off. And Shou was only released today? Just now? Just now when Hughes was shot?

So this all just happened at the same time by accident?

I mean the General sent us to the wrong lab initially, so he didn’t actually want us to be here, and now that we are here, he’s going to set off an entire army as a reaction to three people walking in and going “oops”?

So, lets get a look at our army.

Oh it was so disappointing, this reveal. Not just the eyeball that has a bounce light coming from below the top lip there (how did that even happen???) but also when it opened it’s mouth, it had a flat animation of skin breaking--it wasn’t actually rendered 3d skin, it was like a jpg wrapped around it or something (or at least that was the illusion I got. That is fine for a video game or a TV show, but this is a movie. This is shot so that it can be displayed in a size bigger than your own house.

What happened to the animation team on this one? Not saying I can do better, cuz no, I can’t, that 3d chapter in my life was a while back, but I’m just one guy. This was an entire animation studio and they just...didn’t render 3d face ripping (which is their entire job, to work in 3d) and then they kinda just turned on the stock physics dynamics and dropped em instead of animating them.

The way they fell was like fish from a bucket--the same amount of speed, too. they all ragdolled like a 3D shooter, their rigs just hanging on for dear life (and yes, you could see the deforming happen on the joints of these models.) I’m fine with having a computer program render something out with a physics engine...but there is a balance.

You do have to still go in there and finangle it back because...real life is hella stupid. Real physics? So stupid. It was hilarious how nonthreatening it was, too because they’re like...the size of shrimps in that zoom out image. The scale is just so wild!

It was like one bored guy in a sound booth and they multiplied his voice three times. Golden. Absolutely golden.

So these guys stride over, all of them with the same amount of speed (leading me to think it was probably a recorded walk cycle they all share with slight alterations between all of em) and they kinda just...pile on eachother in a weird way.

I will give them this: I was happy to see something that wasn’t physics or procedural. They mo-capped and animated that part for sure. It had the touch of an artist’s hand. It was also a very funny way for Hakuro to die because this guy was on screen for like 5 minutes, and maybe 7 minutes of this whole movie.

Youknow...I think it really says a lot about your nude 3d models if they’re not disturbingly human enough to trigger the tumblr filter, youknow?

Anyway, Envy looks on.

And then Gluttony saves the city.

Meanwhile, they decide to bust out the fire effects and Mustang becomes the most useful person in this entire movie. Like honestly this movie was poorly named, because it should have just been “Mustang saves the FullMetal Alchemist’s Entire Ass.”

The next part seems like I forgot a cap, or maybe missed something. I swear to you, I did not.

First off, Al becomes fullmetal and makes this happen without an alchemy circle. The show doesn’t really care to talk about that though, it’s just a thing he can do now, and you’d only notice it if you were writing a Tumblr post about it.

I swear to you, Winry is just inside of Al and there is no explanation.

There is no explanation for this.

She was on the couch...why is she not on the couch? What?

And then when you think they might have a moment, Ed’s like.

Damn.

For reals what the hell was that entire scene except for a way for Ed to get his arm stitched back on in like 2 minutes?

Outside, Envy and Lust are just strolling around the back-alley of this red brick building we have seen used for this entire movie.

And like...it’s so funny to me because they weren’t trying to run or hide. It makes complete sense why they got shot. This is what happens when you just...walk away when the whole military guard wants to kill you.

Now lets go see how Hawkeye is faring.

Luckily, all of the ambling bodies have decided to walk slowly through this one weird grass section between extremely long buildings.

And Hawkeye tells everyone “You have to shoot their heads off” and I want you to look at that scene and tell me how many of those bodies still have heads.

Oh, all of them. Don’t worry about it.

Kinda hard to see, but Ed shows up to give Mustang a hand, which was fully unnecessary but we’ll get to that in a bit.

This movie is such a gem.

Ed goes big brain and realizes that Envy is still burned up, and thus is about to pass on.

And whatever, I’ll take it. It’s not like the movie has told us that they are made out of 1000000 lives, for all we know, in the movie universe, they really are only 4 lives. Like half a cat. Maybe Father only killed half a cat instead of an entire city.

Yugi Muto would be so freakin proud of Envy for how often this guy gets hit square in the chest with fire balls. It’s basically every scene where Envy and Mustang share screen time.

And don’t worry, I don’t think Envy died? But they sure made it look like he did, which I’m sure everyone everywhere was really happy to see, since Envy’s death was one of the climaxes of the whole series. Like people used to make these lists of “top 10 saddest anime deaths” and how many people had Envy on there? Like everyone? People freakin love Envy and they did him so much dirty in this movie.

Again I have no explanation for Winry.

So Mustang is like, Ed, you make sure Winry doesn’t biff it in that corner, and I’ll do my actual job over here on this side. And yo, he did.

And so then that’s it, Lust is dead, and now we have a Sorcerer’s stone.

Man it looks delicious, right?

I’d eat the hell out of that.

Anyway, we only have one more update and we’re done with this movie!

I know!

I know! They only have 10-15 minutes to resolve pretty much everything, and that’s assuming that the credits don’t take up a heap of that. Hell, I might only have 3 caps next episode if that’s all credits. I honestly don’t remember.

Anyway, hope y’all take it easy this February, here is a link for people who just got here to read these FMA recaps in Chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/fma/chrono

#FMA #Fullmetal Alchemist #Fullmetal Alchemist Movie #recap #photo recap #ed elric #colonel mustang #hawkeye #al elric #Winry Rockbell #so much fire #so much almost there CG

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no-champagne-socialist · 6 years ago

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All Shades of Blue

Summary: Y/N falls completely head over heels with the blue-eyed stranger at the bar. And he has no idea.

Scenario: “It’s love at first sight but they don’t remember you after a drunk night out.”

Word Count: 3896 words

A/N: It’s important for me to tell you that I’ve never been in love with someone I’ve dated, but I’ve fallen in love with people I didn’t know on the regular. This is for Maya’s (a.k.a. @prettyyoungtragedy) 10K (WTF) Challenge! Congratulations on the milestone - that’s a number I can’t even begin to fathom in any capacity (people, dollars, puppies). I am completely in love with the stories you tell and the way that you tell them. I hope you all enjoy this! (The ending is a little open ended, I know. I don’t intend for this to have a second part, but you also never know what could happen).

Y/N quickly raised the shot glass to her lips, slamming back the hard liquor before the rational part of her brain could talk her out of it. She could not, however, hold back the scowl on her face or the shudder that wracked her body as the tequila burned her esophagus on the way down. She placed the shot glass back on the table and immediately reached for her double spiced rum and diet soda, hoping it would prevent the tequila from making a second appearance. One of her closest friends, Natasha, gathered the three shot glasses in her hand and slid of her stool.

“That was sufficiently awful,” Natasha said, a bright grin on her face. “Another round?” Y/N nodded her head, taking another long sip from her drink as she looked over at their friend, Wanda. The younger girl’s cheeks were already flushed from the little amount of alcohol they had consumed, but she nodded nonetheless, requesting another vodka cran.

“Maybe just a single this time, Nat,” she called after her. Wanda shook her head, her long dark hair moving against her bare shoulders. “She’s not going to listen to me.” Y/N smirked as Wanda rubbed a hand over her face, before turning her attention to her friend. “Now. Are you going to tell us what’s behind this impromptu night out?” Wanda raised an eyebrow as she watched Y/N take a drink to save herself from answering the question. “Not that this wasn’t desperately needed, but we all know that Y/N L/N doesn’t go out on Friday nights.”

Y/N sighed, ducking her head before saying, “Winifred told me not to come in tomorrow.”

Wanda’s jaw dropped at Y/N’s admission. “Are you fired? Do you think she’s firing you?” Natasha arrived back at the table right at that moment, three fresh drinks in her hands.

“Wait, you got fired?” Natasha’s eyes widened in surprise, before she shrugged. “I mean, this is probably a blessing in disguise. You fucking hated that job. And that stone cold b-”

“Guys,” Y/N finally interrupted. “I didn’t get fired. At least, I don’t think she’s firing me.” She took a deep breath. “I think she’d going to promote me.”

Natasha and Wanda both looked at their friend, their expressions blank, if not a little confused. They glanced at each other quickly, before Natasha said, “wait, then why are we getting wasted?”

“You made it sound like we were drinking to forget something bad. This sounds like a celebration, Y/N!” Wanda exclaimed, her voice now adopting a more excited tone.

Y/N raked her fingers through her hair, finishing off her old drink and quickly moving on to the next one. “I know I should be excited, but damn it - I’ve been Winifred's assistant for a year now. I basically run her life. And I feel like I’m constantly working. I can’t tell you the last time I went on a vacation.” She threw her hands up. “What even is the point of working to make a living if you can’t enjoy any of it? I barely have a life now, what’s it going to be like when I have even more work to do?” Y/N dropped her shoulders as Wanda reached her small hand across the bar table to squeeze her friend’s hand. “I figured it would be nice to have a last hurrah with my best friends. Before Winifred Barnes takes over my life even more than she already has. God, I couldn’t even tell you the last time I went on a date.”

Natasha raised her drink, smirking at her friends. “To saying fuck you to Winnie Barnes tonight. To friends and alcohol and getting Y/N laid before she’s forced into a life of celibacy.”

Wanda and Y/N laughed loudly at the redhead, raising their glasses nonetheless to cheers in solidarity.

Y/N felt loose. She felt free and uninhibited and happy. Though she supposed five doubles with a few tequila shots peppered in there would do that to a girl. The bar had been empty when the girls first arrived there a few hours before, but as the clock approached midnight, more and more bodies poured in from the New York streets to take advantage of the cheap drink specials that were offered until midnight.

Wanda was in the middle of telling her girlfriends about her most recent date, some musician who called himself ‘The Vision’ - Natasha and Y/N tried their very best not to laugh in their friend’s face at that - when a large body on his way to the bar stumbled next to their table, the attached arm reaching out to brace himself on Y/N’s shoulder. Y/N let out a small yelp at the surprise intrusion. The man immediately righted himself as soon as he caught his footing and looked down at Y/N.

“Jesus, I am so sorry. Y’okay?” Y/N nodded - not even a drunk frat boy could dampen her spirits at this point - and she turned to tell the man not to worry. Her words caught in her throat when she met his bright and earnest blue eyes, his deep brown hair falling around his cheeks. His eyes were so blue - Y/N wasn’t sure if she had ever seen that shade before. Her initial thought was that they were almost a cerulean blue; though, the longer she looked, she realized there were darker flecks of something like steel or royal blue near his pupil, and a lighter ring around his entire iris that she would akin to baby blue or even sky blue. His eyes reminded her of early summer mornings at her family’s cottage and she felt an immediate sense of calm when he looked at her.

The sound of Natasha clearing her throat pulled Y/N from her own mind. That was when she realized she had been staring a little too long at this guy.

“Yeah, sorry, I spaced out for a second there.” She grinned sheepishly at the man, who returned her smile effortlessly. “I’m okay. Don’t worry about it.” He gripped her shoulder before moving on.

“Guys,” she sighed, a stupid grin on her face. “I’m in love.”

Wanda and Natasha grinned at each other, before leaning forward. Wanda’s eyes twinkled with alcohol and mischief when she said, “go buy him a drink, Y/N. Or introduce yourself. We did say tonight was about getting our girl laid.”

Y/N felt her cheeks flush at the thought of approaching her blue eyed soulmate. “I can’t.” She shook her head. That annoying, rational part of her brain was breaking through the haze caused by the alcohol; it was having her second guess the part of her that was urging her to introduce herself.

“Y/N, you are a strong and independent woman,” Natasha told her, her voice stern. “You can approach a man. You can buy him a drink, you can ask him out, you can take him home if you want to. Fuck the gender rules. Do what you want.”

Knocking back the last mouthful of her drink, Y/N nodded her head, Natasha’s quick pep talk doing exactly what she needed it to.

“You are so right, Nat. I’m gonna do it.”

Y/N stood from her stool, eyeing where the blue eyed man was standing, his broad back facing her. He appeared to laughing with an equally large friend. She squared her shoulders, bidding a “wish me luck” to her friends and walking in the direction of the bar. She took slow steps in his direction, her mind running a mile a minute -

‘Okay, okay. You can do this. Just take a deep breath and introduce yourself. The worst thing that can happen is that he’s not interested and then you can walk away knowing you tried. Oh god, what if he’s not interested. What if he doesn’t like my face? I mean, I like my face. I think it’s a decent face. No, it’s a great face. I have a great face. And a great personality. I’m funny. People like funny, don’t they? Of course they do. That’s why those Netflix comedy specials are so popular. Am I too drunk for this? Maybe I’m too drunk for this. I can walk a straight line though. It feels straight. That’s probably a good sign. Yeah, that’s definitely a good sign. You’re just drunk enough to loosen up. Have a little fun. God knows you need fun. I wonder how much he benches? He could 100% pick me up with no effort.’ -

Y/N could hear his deep voice break through her inner monologue as she approached the bar. Her soulmate’s friend - a blond with eyes not quite as blue - looked over the brunet’s shoulder, smiling as they made eye contact. She returned his warm gesture with a polite smile, immediately walking past them and making a beeline to the hallway left of the bar where the washrooms were.

‘You are an idiot.’

When Y/N pulled herself together, she left the washroom, abandoning her mission of speaking to the blue eyed man.She was just going to have to look elsewhere for a warm body to bring home tonight, one that was a little less intimidating.

She worked her way through the crowd, her arrival back to her table drawing attention from her two friends and a couple of new additions.

“Y/N!” Natasha greeted, with a broad grin. “We thought you had gotten lost.” Y/N smiled softly at her friend, her eyes darting to the tall blond and brunette that had joined their table.

“Who are your friends?” Y/N asked, pulling herself back up into her chair.

Natasha turned to the blond man, her hand resting on his forearm. “This is Steve. We work together. He’s a junior partner with Stark.” The blond man - Steve - rolled his eyes, but the grin never left his face.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” he said, sheepishly.

“Modesty isn’t a good look.” Natasha leaned forward slightly, winking discreetly at her friend as she said, “and this is Steve’s friend, Bucky.”

Y/N took a deep inhale before turning to the tall and ridiculously thick man standing far too close to her. He was smiling down at her, his eyes full of mischief. “It’s nice to meet you. Again.” Bucky chuckled at his own attempt at a joke.

She forced a chuckle, lifting a hand to meet his in a handshake. “Hi, Bucky. I’m Y/N.”

“Can I buy you a drink, Y/N?” Bucky nodded down at her empty glass. “Looks like you’re running a little low there.”

“Sure,” she said, letting out a breath. “That would be great.”

Y/N’s fingers fumbled with the keys in her hands as she tried - unsuccessfully - to unlock the front door of her apartment. The alcohol she had been drinking all night was having an obvious effect on her motor skills. The large hands roaming over her hips, her waist, her stomach, and the undersides of her breasts, and the pair of soft lips trailing along the side of her neck, weren’t doing anything to keep her focus. She let out a soft squeal when he nipped at the underside of her jaw and pushed his hands away from her.

“Okay, okay, you need to hold on.” Y/N pushed her hair away from her face, her chest rising heavily as she fought to settle her breath. “I don’t think my neighbours would like it very much if we continued this in the hallway.”

“But doll, you’re taking so long,” he complained, raising a hand to run a finger down the side of her neck. His lips quickly followed the short trail he created along her skin. “And I want to ravish you.”

A soft groan slipped from between Y/N’s lips at his words. “Okay, okay,” she relented and breathed a sigh of relief when her key slipped easily into the lock. A quick turn of her wrist opened her apartment door and Bucky’s lips were back on her.

He turned her between his palms, meeting her lips in a feverish kiss, their heavy breaths mingling. The door slammed shut behind them, with Bucky wasting no time, lowering himself to grab the backs of her thighs in his hands and lifting her from the ground. On instinct, Y/N wrapped her legs around his hips, unable to stop the moan from leaving her at his display of pure strength. Her fingers of one hand found purchase in the collar of his t-shirt while the other gripped his shoulder while he easily carried her weight.

“Bedroom,” came his gruff voice against her lips. Y/N hummed in reply, relishing in the feeling of his soft lips against hers. A moment passed without Bucky moving when she realized he had been asking her where her bedroom was.

“Right, shit, sorry.” Y/N broke the kiss, shaking her head and Bucky found himself grinning at her. “Down the hall, the only door on the right.”

“Aye, aye.” And this time, he moved quickly, now desperate to get every article of clothing off of the girl in his arms.

Winifred Barnes was going to be the death of her. When the ringing of her cell phone pulled Y/N to consciousness only a few hours after she had fallen into bed, completely spent and exhausted after a few rounds with the guy from the bar. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as rolled over and picked up her phone.

“This is Y/N.”

“Meet me at the office in thirty minutes.” Winifred’s voice was sharp in her ear. Without a goodbye, her boss promptly hung up on the other end.

Her head was absolutely pounding, and her mouth felt drier than any desert. Taking a deep breath, Y/N eased herself into a sitting position, trying her best to ignore how the room felt like it was spinning. As she slipped out from underneath the blankets, her sole focus on getting herself a cold glass of water, Y/N realized the she was alone in her bed. Her immediate reaction was to roll her eyes. Of course the first guy she had brought home in over a year had ditched her before the sun had even come up. Sending a quick text to her girlfriends, Y/N sped through her morning routine, praying that a shower would be enough to mask the lack of sleep she had gotten and the excess of tequila she had consumed.

Y/N: Turns out Blue Eyes didn’t realize that we were soulmates. NAT: Explain please NAT: Also please enlighten us as to WHY you are awake at this hour? WANDA: That sucks! Tell me he was worth it tho? Y/N: When Winifred calls I answer. Y/N: He was completely worth it. Which makes it even more annoying. And completely devastating. WANDA: Text us later when you have an idea of when you’ll be done. Maybe the three of us could have a night in? NAT: I’m in.

Twenty-two minutes later, Y/N was looking - somewhat - like a real human being and was flashing her i.d. badge at the security guard who watched the elevator. He regarded her momentarily, before bidding her a brief ‘good morning’. She slipped into the empty elevator, letting her body rest against the side and closed her eyes, saying a silent prayer to whoever might be listening in the universe that Winifred wouldn’t keep her in the office for her entire Saturday. She was pulled from her own thoughts when a loud voice called, “could you hold the elevator please?”

It took every fibre of willpower Y/N had not to let the door close in the newcomer’s face. Holding back an eye roll and a snarky comment about being on time, she placed her hand in front of the door’s sensor, waiting impatiently.

As she focused on balancing the coffee she had picked up on her way in for herself and Winifred along with her laptop bag and purse, she felt the person slip by her into the elevator. Y/N immediately dropped her hand, pressing the button to close the doors with a little more aggression than was probably warranted.

“Thanks for that. I’m running super late.”

Y/N, once again, held back the urge to roll her eyes. Instead she plastured a smile on her face, turning to face the man. “No problem. Happens to the-” She felt her mouth dry up as she took in the man standing next to her. It was him! The man that had slipped from her bed before she had woken up. The man whose facial hair she could still feel between her thighs. “You!”

His eyebrows pulled together and his jaw loosened as he looked at her, his confusion completely evident on his face. “Me?” The complete lack of recognition on his almost annoyingly perfect face sent Y/N into immediate panic mode. She squeezed her eyes shut, letting a small glimpse of the embarrassment she was feeling show on her features.

“Sorry,” she muttered, shaking her head. “You’ll have to excuse me, I thought you were someone else.” She smiled sheepishly at him as the confusion slipped from his face and was replaced with something more comforting. “It’s way too early, and if I’m honest I’m a little hungover.”

He didn’t remember her. This man had taken her in ways she had barely known were possible; she had fallen asleep with his thick arms wrapped around her, told her best friends she was in love and he didn’t remember her. Nat and Wanda were going to mock her mercilessly for this one.

She felt the flush deepen on her cheeks as he chuckled, ducking his head to run a hand through his hair. “I hear ya. I’m not feelin’ so hot myself.”

“Rough night?” Y/N kept her gaze on the coffee tray she was holding, hoping she sounded nonchalant. Just two strangers conversing casually about their Friday night activities. Activities that had nothing to do with one another.

“You could say that.” Then he leaned in, his voice low as if they were conspiring together. “But let’s keep that between us.”

Y/N smiled tightly, nodding quickly as the elevator doors opened on the top floor of the building, and she stepped out without another look at her elevator mate. She heard his heavy footsteps following behind her at a slower pace than her heels clicked against the floor.

Y/N was hyper aware of the man from last night, from the elevator - she wasn’t sure exactly how to refer to him in her mind. Especially since she couldn’t recall his name at all, something uncommon - following a few paces behind her. What the hell was he doing on this floor? Winifred would probably claw his gorgeous face off for disturbing her so early. Even though she clearly had no problem pulling Y/N into the office at an ungodly hour.

Winifred was sitting behind her desk as Y/N approached, a smile stretched across her cheeks as she greeted her boss. “I brought you coffee.” Winifred simply quirked an eyebrow and returned her gaze back to the stack of papers in front of you.

“I’m meant to have an early meeting, but apparently no one in this world knows what it means to be on time. Including my assistant.” Y/N glanced at the clock on the wall - she was five minutes early.

“Is there anything I can do for you right now, Winifred?” Y/N chose to say instead, knowing that pointing out her lack of tardiness to her boss wouldn’t help her case.

“I’ve forwarded you a few emails. I don’t have the time to respond. Take a look at them, will you?” With a quick nod, Y/N turned on her heel and collided with an extremely solid chest.

“Whoa there.” A pair of large, warm hands gripped her biceps to steady her. “You alright, doll?”

At the pet name, she had vivid memories of his rough voice in her ear, calling her doll, telling her how good she was, how good she felt. Before Y/N could respond to his question, Winifred’s sharp voice sounded behind her. “You’re late.”

Y/N felt a twinge of sympathy for this guy. Clearly he knew nothing of the wrath of Winifred Barnes if he had the nerve to show up late for an appointment with her. She was about to offer to get him a coffee, or tea, something to save him from her boss, but her words caught in her throat when a bright grin appeared on his face.

“Oh, c’mon, I’m not that late.”

“Late is late, James. I thought I raised you better than that.” James rolled his eyes in a manner that Y/N could only describe as affectionate. Meanwhile, her mind was running a mile a minute. Her soulmate - her gorgeous, funny, blue eyed soulmate, the very same man who had fucked her senseless only a few hours before - not only did not remember her at all, but was her boss’s son? This was far too much for Y/N to process.

“If you’re quite done groping my assistant, shall we get going?”

Completely ignoring the coffee Y/N had placed on her desk, Winifred pulled her blazer around her shoulders, propping her purse into the crook of her elbow. “Y/N, set up a lunch with Maria Hill next week will you? And I’ve finalized the guest list for the fundraiser for the children or the homeless, or whatever it is that Stark is trying pull more money for. Make sure that’s sent Sarah before you leave.”

Sharon, Y/N mentally corrected, but kept her mouth shut. “Was… was there anything else you needed me to do today, Winifred? Your phone call this morning seemed… urgent.”

Winifred fell silent, regarding her assistant cooly. Y/N tried not to squirm under her gaze. “No. That will be all. Lock up when you leave. James and I have a breakfast reservation and I’ll be out for the rest of the day.” Y/N bit the inside of her cheek to prevent her from telling Winifred where exactly she shove her breakfast reservation. Instead she simply nodded.

“Have a lovely breakfast.”

Without another word, Winifred turned on her heel, strutting toward the elevator. James, however, remained where he had been standing, regarding his mother’s assistant as she took a deep breath.

“Sorry about her,” he said finally, breaking the quiet that had settled around them. “She means well.”

Y/N smiled thinly, nodding at the tall man. “You should get going. You’re already late.”

“Right,” he said, sheepishly. “Have a good day, Y/N. It was nice to meet you.” With a small wave, he turned away from her, picking up his pace to catch up with his mother.

Y/N let out a deep breath, her hand coming up to push hair out of her face. “What the actual fuck?”

Y/N: You guys are not going to believe my morning. NAT: Considering it didn’t involve hot and dirty morning sex with your soulmate, I can’t imagine it’s too exciting. WANDA: Nat, don’t be rude. I’ll be off at 5, let’s meet at my place around 7? Can we order from that Indian place around the corner? I could really go for some curry! Y/N: Sure thing! It’s a date.

#bucky #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fluff #marvel #bucky!au #au!bucky #au!bucky barnes #bucky barnes!au #modern!bucky #writing challenge #prettyyoungtragedy #Mayawtf #MayaWTFChallenge

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1dfangirls35 · 5 years ago

Text

Voir Dire (N.H.): A fake dating OU about contracts, soulmates, and risking it all for love

prologue one two three

four

Kelsey had been right about it being a busy night. Since the second the doors had opened the bar had been bustling, and it wasn't showing any sign of stopping soon. Tom had just let them know that the AMAs had just ended, which meant a bunch of drunken celebrities were headed their way, wailing in their sorrows of not winning the award they had been nominated for.

Maya came up behind Kelsey with the drink she was mixing. "Tonight we're gonna see someone big-I can just feel it. I'm thinking Taylor Swift- heard she got beat out for Female Artist of the Year."

Kelsey rolled her eyes, throwing some ice into the glass of the whiskey sour she was mixing. "Please Maya, Taylor Swift's not the Manhattan type. She'll be home with a bottle of wine and her cats."

Maya stifled a laugh and headed back to her customer. She couldn't keep them waiting if she wanted a nice tip. Kelsey glanced at the time. It was only ten pm, which meant she had four more busy hours before bar close. Kelsey had thought that maybe she would be let off a little early tonight after working so many shifts this week, but with the amount of traffic in the bar right now, she knew there was no way that was going to happen now.

"Kelsey, can you deliver these Manhattans to table twelve please?" Meg, the bar's manager shouted in her direction.

"Of course," Kelsey responded, wiping her hands on a dish towel, before setting it on the counter and grabbing the tray of drinks. She navigated her way through clumps of socializing people towards the table in the back corner. Then set down the drinks in front of each of the women in the back corner. Although she didn't recognize any of them, she was guessing they had come from the awards show by the way they were dressed. Full length ballgowns and jewelry she only could dream of affording.

The woman handed her a twenty dollar bill and Kelsey placed it in her pocket after giving a polite thank you. She headed back towards the bar. She made her way through the crowd, pushing when her 'excuse-mes' go unnoticed. She had nearly made it back, when a man started backing into her. Like some kind of bartender premonition, Kelsey could tell what was going to happen before it even began.

"Shit," the man exclaimed in a thick accent. His beer splashing onto Kelsey as he bumps into her, leaving her shirt drenched with the sticky substance. Kelsey glances down to see just how bad the damage was before her eyes travel upward to meet those of the man that had so kindly spritzed her with his beer.

His face was soft, with a slight scruff along his jawline. His blue eyes full of apology. Kelsey was sure that she knew his face, but at the moment she couldn't quite place it- not that she could acknowledge it even if she could- another of Manhattan's strict policies to ensure its elite patrons were not bothered.

"I'm sorry, wasn't watching where I was going," he apologized.

"Don't worry about it, happens all the time," Kelsey replied. It was for occasions like this that Kelsey was now sure to pack at least three different shirts with her when she came to work. Even the elite could get a little sloppy.

"Can I get you another one of those?" she asked, gesturing to his now almost empty glass. Kelsey had never understood why they had to provide compensatory drinks to patrons who had money coming out of their ears, but it was yet another policy she had to follow.

"Think I should be the one buying you one," he said with a laugh.

"No drinking on the job unfortunately, but just give me a minute to change and I'll get you a fresh one."

The man's eyes flashed with the realization that Kelsey was an employee, as always. Once this occurred, there were usually two outcomes. The first being the guy lost all interest in her and pretended her ever offered to buy her a drink in the first place. The second being the guy took this as an opportunity to continue to flirt in hopes of getting stronger drinks and someone he could talk the ear off while he continued to drink. That was the bad thing about being a bartender, you couldn't exactly run from the creepy guy at the bar.

Kelsey hoped he was the earlier, because although this guy was attractive, she was far too busy to feign interest for some lonely drunk. Grabbing her bag from behind the bar, Kelsey headed to the bathroom. Throwing on a new black tank top to replace the wet shirt she was currently wearing, then stuffing it into her bag to add to her pile of dirty laundry.

It suddenly occurred to Kelsey that the man who spilled his drink on her was the 'Slow Hands' guy. His name was on the tip of Kelsey's tongue, and she tried to mentally recall the names of the One Direction members. Her mind came up blank.

"What happened to you?" Maya asked Kelsey as she slid back behind the bar. Grabbing a glass to fill a new beer for Slow Hands guy.

"Beer spill. What's the name of that guy that sings Slow Hands again? You know the one in One Direction? He's not Harry Styles but..."

"Niall Horan?" Maya said in a hushed voice. Kelsey knew she could always count on Maya to identify celebrities. "He's the one that spilled a beer on you?" Kelsey looked at her friend's incredulous face. She could only hope Maya was smart enough to not try and sneak the poor guy a copy of her demo on a night that was as busy as this.

Kelsey nodded.

"Can't believe you don't remember his name," Maya said with a laugh. "You kept raving about how he could use his slow hands any day on you last month when you were drunk."

Kelsey felt heat rise to her cheeks. She may or may not have had a bad habit of making remarks about celebrities while she was drunk. She blamed it on being ridiculously single- not that she didn't want to keep it that way.

"I better get him his beer," Kelsey rolled her eyes, filling the glass and bringing it over to where Niall was now seated at the bar.

"Ye didn't have to do that," Niall said as Kelsey set the beer in front of him. Niall didn't like to be the kind of celebrity that demanded things. Pop superstar or not, he wanted to be treated like everyone else, especially when it was his own fault. "I've been the center of attention all night, would've liked to just be a clumsy lad in the bar for once," he admitted.

"Company policy," Kelsey responded, but she couldn't help but be a little impressed with the fact that this celebrity didn't expect to be treated as such. "Let me know if I can get you anything else," she said with a smile, and then moved on to helping the next patron.

As Kelsey filled drink order after drink order, her shift kept gazing back to Niall, sitting quietly at the bar sipping on his beer. She wondered what was going through his mind, and what kind of international popstar comes to a bar alone after an awards show. She shakes it off her mind, moving on to pour another glass of wine for the publicist that won't get off her phone for more than a second.

"You've caught someone's attention," Maya said as her shoulder brushes Kelsey's. Kelsey glanced over at Niall once again. The two make eye contact before Kelsey quickly turned away.

"Probably just wants a refill, I go check on him," Kelsey said, beginning to move in Niall's direction.

Maya grabbed Kelsey's sleeve and pulls her friend back in. "He's been staring at you for over twenty minutes now. Go talk to him. I got it covered." She pushed Kelsey in the direction of the Irishman.

Kelsey approached slowly. "Need another one?"

"That would be great, thank you..." Niall paused and Kelsey realized that this was his way of asking for her name.

"Oh, Kelsey, I'm Kelsey," she stumbled.

"Nice to meet you Kelsey. I'm Niall," he replied . Of course, Kelsey didn't need that introduction.

"Another beer coming right up," Kelsey smiled and headed back to the tap. It was only when she felt the foam begin to overflow from the cup that she realized she had been staring at Niall.

This was out of character for Kelsey. She didn't get intrigued by cute guys talking to her at the bar. After all, that was part of her job. And she certainly didn't stare at them from across the bar. The people at this bar weren't the kind of people that were interested in bartenders. And quite honestly, Kelsey knew that if an average guy could break her heart, it was even more likely with this clientele.

Kelsey tried to shake the feeling in her chest as she approached Niall and set the beer in front of him. "Long night?" she asked.

"The longest," Niall said with a sigh, taking a sip of his beer. "Red carpets and awards shows aren't really my thing if I'm being honest."

Kelsey raised her eyebrow.

"Oh no, I'm not complaining about it. I mean I am...ahh dammit," Niall said, running a hand through his hair. "Now you think I'm one of those people that's ungrateful to be in the position I am. I'm grateful, I really am its just..."

"A bit too much sometimes?" Kelsey finished his sentence for him.

"Ya something like that. What ever happened to it being about the music anyway?" Niall spun his glass in a circle in front of him before shaking his head. "Sorry, look at me just being like any old grump at the bar telling you about my problems. Tell me about you Kelsey."

"Me?" Kelsey asked with confusion. People rarely asked Kelsey about herself at the bar. Niall nodded to confirm, that he was in fact, asking about her.

"I'm Kelsey. I've been in LA for three months and I'm a bartender here at Manhattan."

"That was a bullshit answer if I've ever heard one," Niall said with a laugh, taking another sip of his beer.

Kelsey crossed her arms over her chest and feigned offense.

"Why'd you come to LA? We both know no one comes here to be a bartender," Niall asked, his eyes scanning Kelsey's face in a way that sent her stomach in knots.

"Bashing on bartenders now? It just so happens that my life aspiration is to become a world renowned bartender," Kelsey answered with a smirk. She sighed and rested her elbow on the bar in front of her, leaning a little closer to Niall. He shot her a smile of amusement.

"I came for a fresh start. Plus, I'm hoping to get into Stanford law in the fall so I figured might as well move to California sooner versus later."

"You want to be a lawyer?" Niall said with an incredulous look on his face. Kelsey wasn't sure if it was him being impressed or mocking, in her experience it was often the latter.

"You think I'm crazy right," Kelsey said, shaking her head.

"Not at all," Niall replied. "I think it's brilliant." He offered her a sincere smile and Kelsey felt her mouth move to mirror one. She caught herself, and quickly returns to a neutral expression.

"Why do you want to be a lawyer?" Niall questioned.

Kelsey knew that was a loaded question and a complicated answer. One that boybander Niall Horan likely didn't care to hear the explanation to.

"I like to argue," she said with a shrug.

"I can see that," Niall laughed. "But seriously."

"That's not a simple answer," Kelsey said, grabbing a strand of her brown locks and twirling it in her fingers. "Guess I like the idea of building a case. Seeing all the aspects of something and using it to put together an argument. There's also a lot of psychology involved, a lot of personal relationships. You have to be able to integrate a lot of complex skills at once and I like the challenge."

"Guess you get good practice as a bartender then?" Niall asked.

"Oh ya, especially when I have to thwart of the advances of famous boybanders," she teased, flicking her hair over her shoulder before scanning the premises to see if her manager had caught on to her single patron service.

Niall looked to his left, then to his right, he sets his glass back down on the table before saying, "Don't know what you're talking about, I don't see any of those around here."

Kelsey rolled her eyes at his attempt at a joke. Had she heard better? Absolutely, but his sarcasm was a bit enduring. She appreciated someone who didn't take themselves too seriously, lord knows she needed to apply some of that rationale to her own life.

"So where's your entourage tonight?"

"Entourage? I'm just a lad from Mullingar I have no entourage," Niall said with a laugh.

"So you are telling me you came from the big AMA festivities to this bar all by yourself?" Kelsey probed.

"I mean I suppose a few of my mates are around here somewhere but sometimes I need some time to meself." Niall was omitting the part of his plan that involved ditching his "girlfriend" as quickly as possible following the show before calling up a very drunk Louis Tomlinson and being instructed to head to the bar.

"The bar's not usually my place for some me time," Kelsey remarked, looking around the bar to observe the mad chaos that surrounded her. It was loud, chaotic, and full of people dressed far too nice to consider themselves relaxed. Kelsey's me time involved a tub of Ben and Jerry's, a bottle of wine, and a romantic comedy on Netflix.

"It's me time when you want to drown out your feelings with alcohol," Niall sighed. After realizing what he had just admitted out loud, Niall quickly tried to rebute his words. "I'm sure there have been many lads sitting at a bar that have it worse off than me though."

Humility. It wasn't something that Kelsey had witnessed in many of patrons she served at the Manhattan. She certainly wouldn't have expected the quality to be displayed in a world-famous superstar like Niall Horan. It was refreshing, and although Kelsey didn't want to admit it, a bit intriguing as well.

"Kels!" Kelsey turned to see Becca, flagging her down, her hot date still by her side. She assumed the date must have been going well if Becca had convinced him to follow her to a bar where the drinks would cost you almost as much as a nice dinner. She gave her roommate a wave of acknowledgement before turning back to Niall.

"I'm sorry, that's my friend and her date. I have to go get the scoop. It was nice to meet you Niall Horan," Kelsey said with a smile. Niall felt a wave of disappointment. He had been quite enjoying his chat with Kelsey. He wasn't sure what he had expected though, it wasn't like it was her responsibility to keep him from getting lonely.

"Nice to meet you too," Niall replied. "oh, and sorry about the drink," Niall laughed, motioning towards the beer he hadn't managed to spell down the front of a beautiful girl.

"Don't worry about it," Kelsey responded before making her way to her friend.

"I hear you were hitting it off over there," Becca laughed, motioning towards Niall who now had a cell phone in one hand and a beer in the other. Kelsey glanced back at the Irishman who had had her interest over the past half hour. Her mind started conjuring up all the possible reasons a guy like him would be hanging at a bar by himself after an awards show.

"Earth to Kelsey," Becca snapped her fingers in Kelsey's face, and Kelsey turned her attention abruptly back to her roommate.

"Sorry, oh no just having a chat that's all. He's a freaking celebrity after all," Kelsey answered. It wasn't like someone like Niall was interesting in Kelsey. Kelsey wasn't even interested in the whole dating scheme in the first place at the current moment, much less with a celebrity.

"That's not what Maya told me," Becca said with a grin. "Anyway, still think you can sneak out of here early and hit the club with us?"

Kelsey surveyed the crowd at the bar. It was significantly less busy than it had been a few hours ago and with a good chunk of the patrons buying wine by the bottle instead of mixed drinks she thought it was worth a shot. "I'll check with Meg, be right back."

Luckily for Kelsey, Meg was in a good mood. She agreed that the decreased traffic and long work hours Kelsey had already put in this week warranted her getting off an hour and a half early. After shooting Becca a thumbs up from across the bar, Kelsey headed to the back of the bar to hang up her apron.

"She's letting you out early I see," Maya noted as she filled another vodka lemonade.

"Yeah, Becca wants me to go to the club with her and her new guy," Kelsey said with a roll of her eyes. She knew she had promised her roommate this, but as she watched Becca and her date suck face at the corner of the bar, she began to wonder if maybe this wasn't going to be the best of ideas.

Maya followed Kelsey's eyes and let out a laugh. "Don't worry, I'm sure there will be plenty of single guys looking for someone to dance with at the club."

Kelsey gave her Maya a questioning look. She wasn't looking for a single guy right now. She wasn't looking for anyone.

Maya gave Kelsey a playful shove. "Go let loose girl, you deserve it. You can dance with a guy without committing to date him."

"I know," Kelsey responded slowly.

"Well then, go get ready girl. If you take to much longer, I'm not sure those two are going to make it to the club." Kelsey laughed before going to the bathroom to touch up. She applied a fresh coat of mascara and lipstick and gave her hair a little fluff before calling it good.

As she walked back towards Becca, Kelsey scanned the bar for one last glance of Niall, but he was gone.

*******************************

Kelsey was beginning to wish that she had just stayed at the Manhattan with Maya instead of becoming the third-wheel of Becca's date. The two had clearly hit it off- they could barely keep their hands off of each other.

Kelsey was happy for Becca. She deserved to find someone as much as the next person, but that didn't keep Kelsey's bitter distrust for any kind of romantic relationship from wondering if this guy would become just like one of the countless guys Becca met at bars since Kelsey had moved in with her- untrustworthy and unwilling to commit.

After the two shots Becca had suggested they take before they left the Manhattan and the vodka cranberry Kelsey was sipping on now, Kelsey was beginning to feel the beginnings of a buzz. God knows she was going to need it if she was going to "let loose" as Maya had put it. She scanned the room for potential baes for the night.

Through the dimly lit club lights, Kelsey swears she sees a man that resembles Niall across the room. She shook the thought from her mind and blamed it on her escalating blood alcohol levels. The atmosphere of the club was altering her senses, between the pounding music and the sweet alcohol, it didn't surprise Kelsey that she might be misperceiving things. This club was far from exclusive, and a celebrity would never be spotted in a club like this. Kelsey couldn't believe her mind was still caught up on the clumsy Irishman from the bar- her loneliness had clearly combined with the alcohol to make her forget every reason she was single in the first place.

Kelsey turned back to face Becca who was now seated on the lap of her new beau. Dylan, his name was Dylan. Kelsey was really hoping that Dylan hadn't invited any of his friends along to this club. But knowing Becca, there were probably several of them just lurking at the bar waiting to make their move.

"It's busy in here," Becca practically yells, her attempt at trying to make Kelsey feel like she is part of the group instead of just the outsider invading on her date. In the past, Becca had often brought her dates to the club in an effort to "lose them" when things weren't going well. Tonight, however, seemed to be an entirely different story.

Kelsey feels her face go white as she notices the distinct outline of Niall's nose, three sleek white barstools down the bar. Now she was sure she wasn't seeing things.

"What is he doing here?" she wondered out loud.

Becca answered. "Oh, your boybander from the Manhattan. I told him we were coming here," Becca offered a mischievous smile.

"You what?" Kelsey felt her jaw drop.

"I told him we were coming here. You know in case in case he wanted to continue the conversation," Becca said, looking extremely pleased with herself. "Looks like he did."

"Becca..." Kelsey started to protest.

Becca threw her hands up. "It was Maya's idea, so if you want someone to blame, blame her."

Kelsey shook her head. Of course Maya was behind all this. That girl and her dreams.

"But I have to say Kelsey, I agree with her." Becca leaned forward from her perch in Dylan's lap. Kelsey reached out to steady her friend, who appeared to be more intoxicated than Kelsey initially thought. "You need to get laid."

Kelsey felt her face heat up at her friend's bluntness. Kelsey strongly disagreed. This 'no strings attached' method may have worked for Becca, but Kelsey didn't think she could ever be so impulsive. Guys were bad news. Period. And Kelsey planned on staying as far away from a relationship as she could.

Becca continued, "I mean this is the first time since you've been here that I've seen you gawk over a guy."

"I'm not gawking at him, Becca," Kelsey replied sharply. "Besides you are completely ignoring the fact that he is a c-eleb-ri-ty. He can't be with a girl like me and he most certainly shouldn't be in a club like this. It will be all over the tabloids tomorrow."

Kelsey couldn't believe Maya and Becca's lack of cognition behind the whole plan. Niall was a well-known star. Judging by his comments earlier in the night, Kelsey was fairly confident that he wasn't someone that enjoyed being in the public eye. But if all this was true, why would he come here?

"If you aren't interested then why do you keep glancing over in his direction," Becca raised an eyebrow. Once again, Kelsey felt a hint of color rise to her cheeks after being caught straight in her own lie. She couldn't help but feel somewhat drawn to Niall. She just couldn't figure out why.

In that moment, Niall seemed to glance in Kelsey's direction. Locking eyes with her before heading over her way.

"Dylan let's go dance," Becca said abruptly, grabbing her date's hand and dragging him out onto the LED- lit dance floor to join the countless other drunk couples shamelessly getting their groove on.

"So can I buy you a drink this time?" Niall asked as he slid into the barstool next to Kelsey. Kelsey looked at the pop star in front of her in shock, waiting for the camera man to jump out from behind the bar and tell her she was being Punked.

"I mean, I guess you can," Kelsey answered hesitantly. Niall looked down at her drink.

"Vodka cran?" Niall asked. Kelsey nodded, at a loss for words on how to approach the situation.

"Listen Niall, I don't know what my friends told you, but honestly are you sure you should even be here right now? I mean don't you have like stalker fans or something? And what about your entourage?" Kelsey's mouth spewed words out as faster than they crossed her mind.

"Kelsey," Niall said, setting a hand on her shoulder. "I didn't come here because of anything your friends told me."

"You didn't?" Kelsey was surprised. She also felt incredibly stupid for assuming Niall Horan had come here looking for her. She supposed he could have coincidently arrived at the same club as her. LA was a big city, but it wasn't impossible.

"I came here because I was hoping I could talk to you some more," Niall replied. "And the entourage? Well, I sent Louis home in a cab hours ago."

"And the fans?" Kelsey asked again, still hardly believing that Niall had come all this way to talk to her.

"Sometimes it's best to just hide in plain sight," Niall shrugged.

Kelsey took another sip of her drink before repositioning herself on her barstool so that she was close enough to Niall to hear him over the loud music.

"I'm sorry I don't mean to like follow you or anything like that. I just felt like there was some kind of connection between the two of us?" Niall questioned more than stated. Niall realized he could have been reading the entire situation incredibly wrong. He was a bit out of his element after all, especially after the day that he had. He only hoped that Kelsey didn't think he was a total idiot.

"There might have been something like that," Kelsey responded back, the buzz from her drink suddenly making her far more straightforward than she intended. She wasn't looking for anything, really, and definitely not a relationship. But if she and Niall could continue their surprisingly interesting conversation and he would buy her a drink or two, she couldn't complain. After all, it wasn't like she was going to be seeing much of Becca tonight.

There was no doubt in Kelsey's mind that she was attracted to Niall. His bright blue eyes stood out against the dark brown of his hair, almost as if they were piercing into her very soul. But it wasn't just Niall's looks that had caught Kelsey's attention. There was something about his sense of humor, and his ability to be- well, so normal.

"So your friend and her man really can't get enough of each other?" Niall laughed, Kelsey followed Niall's gaze to spot Becca and Dylan pressed up against the concrete wall of the club, barely a space between them. "How long have they been together?"

"It's their first date actually," Kelsey laughed.

"Really?" Niall asked, lifting up his drink to take another sip. "Quite the chemistry then I suppose."

"You could say that," Kelsey replied, although she wasn't quite sure if this was truly chemistry or just a lot of lust.

"A bit of a skeptic?" Niall asked, reading the way Kelsey's face instantly lost a bit of its glow as she watched her friend and her date. He knew that face because he'd worn it himself many times before. It was the face of someone who had been heartbroken before.

"My friends would say that," Kelsey took another long drink. "I prefer to call myself more of a realist."

"Well, cheers to being realists then," Niall held up his glass to toast Kelsey's. Their hands brush as their glasses clink together. "Want a shot?" he chuckled. Talking about relationships had reminded him of the reason he had ended up at the bar in the first place, and that called for more alcohol.

"Please," Kelsey agreed enthusiastically.

Two tequila shots later, Niall and Kelsey found themselves on the dance floor. Niall pulled Kelsey in front of him, hands on her hips as they moved to the music. Kelsey happily obliged, the feeling of Niall's breath on the back of her neck sending shivers down her spine.

Kelsey began to wonder if maybe Becca and Maya had been right. Maybe she needed a night to just let loose. For so many months now she had focused on all the things that were going wrong in her life. Maybe for tonight, she needed to do something that felt right.

As if suddenly having a revelation, Kelsey turned around to face Niall, bringing her hands to rest at the bottom of his neck as she brought her mouth closer to Niall's ear. Niall's skin bubbled with goosebumps as her warm breath grazed his ear.

"I thought One Direction couldn't dance," she practically yelled, hoping that her sound waves would be able to overcome the pounding bass of the music.

"Doesn't mean I don't know how to," Niall said with a laugh before grabbing Kelsey's hand and giving her a sudden twirl. The two laughed, and with each beat their bodies moved closer together. The proximity leaving the tips of Kelsey's fingers tingling.

"I get the feeling that Becca won't be coming home alone tonight," Kelsey sighed, glancing over at her roommate who still seems to incapable of keeping her hands off Dylan.

Niall glanced over as well. "Doesn't appear that way."

As if Becca had a sixth sense that she had become a topic of conversation, she pulled away from Dylan long enough to motion Kelsey over.

"I'll be right back," Kelsey whispered, before heading over to her friend. Becca's face filled with delight as Kelsey approached.

"I spy some chemistry going on over there," Becca laughed.

"Oh like that's not what is going on over here," Kelsey rolled her eyes at her friend. Becca didn't protest. "So let me guess you called me over here to warn me about the guest we will be having in our apartment tonight?"

"You would be correct," Becca replied. Kelsey searched the room for Niall, who was now up at the bar grabbing what appeared to be another round of drinks for the two of him.

"Don't write him off Kels, just because he's a superstar. He's definitely into you." Kelsey sighed. She couldn't help but admit that she was a little into Niall as well. Maybe she should just embrace it.

"Just let me know when you are ready to leave," Kelsey instructed, before heading back towards Niall.

"Grabbed us another round, want to grab a seat?" Niall motioned to a small booth in the corner of the club as he handed Kelsey her next drink. Kelsey nodded, and Niall took hold of her hand and led her towards their destination.

The pair slid across the black leather seats, first Niall, then Kelsey, before settling in at the center of the table with a bird's eye few of the club in front of them. Kelsey took a sip of her sweet drink, becoming slightly more aware of the closeness of Niall's body next to her.

"You got the heads up I take it?" Niall motioned towards Becca once again.

Kelsey laughed. "Oh yes, should have known that was how my night was going to go," she shook her head. "Has there ever been a third-wheeling scenario in the history of third-wheeling in which the third-wheel doesn't regret every agreeing to go out with the couple?"

Niall chuckled, his laugh deep. "I suppose that's why they call it third-wheeling."Kelsey looked back over at Niall, his eyes twinkling even in the dim club lights. "But I don't think you can consider this third-wheeling anymore because there's now a fourth wheel on this vehicle."

"There is?" Kelsey raised her eyebrow. She watched as Niall's eyes scanned her lips, and she felt herself bit her own lip. Niall leaned, reaching a hand behind her neck before his lips brushed hers.

And then it was electricity. Kelsey hadn't kissed a great number of guys in her life- sober or otherwise, but she had to say that this kiss ranked pretty highly. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the fact that kissing someone like Niall Horan was something that would only happen once in a lifetime, but Kelsey couldn't get enough.

There is a hunger behind this kiss. A passion and urgency that makes it delicate and yet strong at the same time. Soon Kelsey is pulling herself closer to Niall, his hands entrapped into her chocolate hair while her hands roam the top of his chest.

Now who was the one all over someone in the club?

Kelsey's not sure if it had been minutes or hours but when she finally pulled away long to catch her breath, she finds her mouth forming a smile. She'd forgotten what it felt like- that feeling of overwhelming desire. It felt good, addicting almost, and Kelsey knew she wanted more. She leaned in again, this time finding herself nearly on Niall's lap, the smell of Niall's cologne and the taste of his beer invigorating her senses.

"If you wanted you could come back to mine," Niall whispered. "I mean, if you wanted to get away from the lovebirds for awhile. No pressure or anything, just offering up a place to stay."

Kelsey thought about it for a minute. One night couldn't be that bad. And being with Niall sure as hell beat being in an apartment with Becca and Dylan. "Take me home Niall," she batted her eyelashes.

Niall nodded, grabbing her hand and sliding back out of the booth. "Let me just tell Becca we are leaving," Kelsey whispered into Niall's ear before heading off into the direction of her friend.

Niall watched her as she walked, hardly believing that this was happening. This wasn't something Niall usually did. In fact, Niall wasn't sure that he had ever simply taken a girl home from a bar after meeting her a few hours ago. But something about Kelsey was different. There was an instant attraction, but yet it went far deeper than purely physical.

"Are you sure?" Niall asked again as Kelsey approached, wrapping her arm around Niall's back as she leaned against his shoulder.

Kelsey nodded. "Gotta see if those slow hands live up to the hype don't we?"

#now that the next singles been announced I guess I better get writing lol #writingby1dfangirls35 #voir dire #niall horan #niall fanfic #niall x ofc #1dff #niallff #one direction fanfiction #nh

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stokan · 6 years ago

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Top 20 Things of 2018

1.) Beychella How do you make a long awaited surprise album between two of the biggest names in music that is also one of the year’s best feel like complete afterthought? Set the bar as high as Beyonce’s Coachella appearance.

First awards show performances, then music videos, now music festival gigs: is there anything that Beyonce CAN’T turn into high art?

2.) Explained by Vox The most exciting development in the world of television in 2018 was radically breaking the rules on episodes length. We saw 30 minute dramas, and hour long comedies. We got shows like Maniac where episodes were as long as 49 minutes and as short as 27 minutes. Now television creators can tell exactly the stories they want to tell in however much time they want to tell them in. And perhaps nowhere were these loosened restrictions taken better advantage than Explained, Vox’s documentary series for Netflix. Many topics cant sustain a full length documentary, but, say, 14 minutes explaining cryptocurrency to me? Sure! 17 minutes on designer DNA? Sounds great! 20 minutes on the origins of K-Pop? How do you say “yes please” in Korean? Every episode has a different narrator, a different look, a different feel, and varies wildly in subject matter. Yet they are all exactly the length they need to be. The only thing left I really need explained to me is why no one thought to make this series before.

3.) Serial Season 3 If Explained was a great example of the latest evolution in television, then the new season of Serial is at the front line of the evolution of our newest artistic medium: podcasts. Serial’s third season was nothing like its second, which was in turn nothing like its first. It’s a series still figuring out what it CAN be, while now defining forever what it NEEDS to be. Serial this year explained a deeply important topic in a way that wouldn’t have been possible through any other medium. They always say if you’re a writer you have to ask yourself what form of writing your idea needs to be. Don’t write a play that’s really a TV show, or a movie that should be a book. And now we can add to that don’t make a TV series that’s really a podcast. As Homecoming proved this year, the two mediums are very different and better equipped to tell different stories. And after hearing Serial Season Three I can’t imagine there will ever be a better way to explore the current American criminal justice system. It was 2018’s version of Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle. It may not change national food safety standards, but it hopefully will do something perhaps even more important: it will make us never again take lightly the election of local judges and sheriffs. It was a podcast for the heart, the head, and the time capsule.

4.) Black Mirror - “Hang the DJ” I know this technically came out December 29th 2017 but I’m counting it here because nothing was more 2018 than this. The sadness, the isolation, the uncertainty, the living in a world you don’t understand the rules of anymore, the unfairness of modern life, but the ultimate perseverance of hope and love: it’s all there in the best episode of Black Mirror’s third season. It made me cry out of sadness and happiness in equal measure. Could anything be more 2018 than that?

5.) Kesha at the Grammys Ok so maybe one thing was more 2018.

The Grammys, an organization led by Neil Portnow, a man who said this year that “women need to step up”, and an organization that didn’t offer its one female Album of the Year nominee a solo performance spot, also offered us 2018’s most powerful show of female solidarity and one of the most moving moments of the Me Too era. It all amounted to the perfect encapsulation of this year. Kesha scream crying and then collapsing into a sea of strong supportive women WAS 2018.

6.) Eighth Grade My favorite movie of the year was also the year’s best horror movie. It was so real, and visceral, and intense, and frightening that at times I literally had to remind myself to breathe. I watched at least half the movie through my fingers and on the edge of my seat. Proving what everyone who has lived through it already knows: there’s nothing in the world more terrifying than being in junior high.

7.) Big Mouth Speaking of junior high, the other side of the pain and trauma of growing up is humor, so why it took this long for someone to make a comedy series explicitly about puberty is beyond me. I guess, of course, making a show like this work is a fine needle to thread. It wouldn’t work without being animated and being on a streaming service that lets them go as far as they did. It wouldn’t work without writing that is both laugh out loud funny and deeply compassionate and human in equal measure. And it wouldn’t work without one of the best voice casts on TV, including a true tour de force from Maya Rudolph. But work does it ever. In a just world junior high health class homework would be simply watching this show.

8.) Emma Gonzalez speech Here’s how long 2018 was: this was from 2018.

Finishing off my personal 2018 Growing Up Trifecta is the most powerful 12 minutes of the year. That high school students could be more inspiring, articulate, and better leaders than the President of the United States is sadly, at this point, a given. But that they are now more effective and efficient than him at starting genuine political movements still feels revolutionary. The kids are our future, and our future has never looked brighter.

9.) Childish Gambino - “This is America” video 100 years from now if theres only one cultural artifact that still exists and is still remembered from 2018 this will be it. A “you know where you were the first time you saw it” level cultural event. No song will ever be more closely associated with its music video, and no music video will ever be more of an avatar for an entire cultural moment than this. THIS is, of course, a truly shocking and horrifying (in a good way) music video from the former fifth lead of the TV show Community. A profound and brilliant piece of art underscored by a fun-sounding dance song. The year’s most complex and important social-political message delivered in 4 minutes via YouTube. This is America indeed.

10.) Drake - “God’s Plan” video While Donald Glover may have perfected the music video as art form, it goes without saying that long ago Drake mastered the music video as promotional tool. And in that sense the music video for “God’s Plan” seems like minor failure. It seemed to sort of come and go from the culture, especially in light of the success of the In My Feelings Challenge. But for me, there was nothing more heartwarming and human this year than watching Drake give away almost a million dollars to strangers. It was an idea so simple it’s shocking no one had ever done it before. And so affecting I was shocked it didn’t seem to penetrate the public consciousness more. There’s so much going on at all times now it’s hard for anything to truly break through all the noise, but this really deserved to. It’s impossible to watch this without smiling, and is there anything 2018 needed more than that?

11.) Nanette The dumbest debate this year was whether or not Nanette was stand up. Form and genre aren’t delineators still worth discussing in 2018. It’s now only about the message and the messenger, everything else is just details. An important fresh voice, the most timely, and sadly, timeless message imaginable, delivered in a way that reached and deeply affected seemingly every person you knew? What is there to debate? Nanette may or may not be stand up comedy, but it’s definitely RISE UP comedy. And in the end, that’s all that matters.

12.) Amber Says What Please click on the link above. The final two minutes are by far the best comedy of 2018. It still makes me laugh so hard that it causes me physical pain. You’ve been warned.

13.) A Star is Born trailers A Star is Born is maybe a perfect film. The performances, the songs, the direction, the fact that there’s literally no human being on earth who could have played her part and made the movie work like it did other than Lady Gaga. It was all perfect. But there was actually something better than watching A Star is Born: anticipating watching a A Star is Born. Before the first A Star is Born trailer came out I thought the whole project sounded dumb and unnecessary. After I finished watching the first trailer I knew I was going to see A Star is Born opening night. True story: I was at a movie where the same A Star is Born trailer got played three times in a row for some reason. And it was riveting every time. There was no grumbling at all in the audience, and I for one was sad when it didn’t replay a fourth time. So as much as I loved A Star is Born what I would really love is be able to still want to see A Star is Born for the first time.

14.) Ariana Grande - “thank u, next” It’s genuinely impressive that a song released in November could be the song I listened to by far the most this year. Somehow it took less than two months for this song to feel completely ubiquitous. Hell, even the PHRASE “thank u, next” is omnipresent now. Forget Song of the Summer, this was maybe our first Song of the Winter. Which is perfect because has a hit pop song ever sounded more winter? It’s cold, but it keeps you warm. It’s the sadness of the holidays with the life reaffirming joy of the holiday season. It’s a sweater for you to wear on the dance floor. And it’s clearly exactly the song so many of us needed. No matter how many times I’ve heard it (and as I said, I’ve listened to it, uh, A LOT) its existence feels like a holiday miracle. Having a new and fresh take on the breakup song in the year 2018? That shit IS amazing.

15.) The proposal at the Emmys This is literally the only thing anyone remembers about this year’s Emmys. It was amazing, and special, and made anyone who watched it believe in true love. But for me it still cant touch the most heart-melting awards show moment of all time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCJrku4fSxk

(Was this whole entry just an excuse to link to one of my absolute favorite YouTube clips? Perhaps.)

16.) Succession When I saw the promos for Succession I literally made the sound UGH out loud. The last thing the world needs is another show about rich white people behaving badly, I thought. How could there possibly be anything original left to say on that topic? Who on earth is still greenlighting shows like this in The Year of our Lord 2018?

People much smarter than I am clearly, that’s who.

Because from writing, acting, production design, direction - whatever element you want to focus on - this was the best and most exciting new show of 2018 by a wide margin. People have been saying for years that TV is the new movies; this show made movies look like the old TV. It was the most vibrant and perfectly crafted big budget feature film of 2018, stretched out over 8 episodes on HBO. Did it have anything new and important to say about the world? Probably not. And turns out, I couldn’t have cared less. The phrase compulsively watchable might have been invented just to describe the world these actors and writers created. I would watch the team involved with this show dry paint.

17.) Angels in America on Broadway Angels in America is the best play of the past 30 years and its not even close. So the fact that it would get a production that’s this good is just unfair for everyone else on this planet who makes theater. It was so good it made all other plays I’ve seen since seem small and cheap and unimportant. It was such a towering achievement that it has made the entire rest of theater as an art form seem insignificant by comparison. When you hear old people talk about seeing Brando in Streetcar or watching the original production of Death of Salesman I now can relate to what they are talking about. I’ll be thinking about Andrew Garfield’s final monologue for the rest of my life. It was unfair that we the audience had to all leave the theater when the lights finally came up and that we couldn’t all just live in that feeling forever. The eight hours I spent watching this play are what art is all about.

18.) Jesse Plemons in Game Night If dying is easy, and comedy is hard, then they should cancel the Oscars and give Jesse Plemmons Best Supporting Actor right now for his work in Game Night. And ok, maybe it wasn’t the BEST performance of 2018, but it was DEFINITELY the best performance relative to what it needed to be. It should have been a dumb throwaway part in a big-budget mainstream ensemble comedy. But Jesse Plemmons crafted a performance so strange and singular and memorable that it elevated the entire movie into something way better than I’m sure even its creators expected. I legitimately don’t know how everyone didn’t break in every one of his scenes. It’s a master class in the comedic power of silence. It should be studied in acting classes everywhere. And 20 years from now when Game Night is considered a comedy classic, Jesse Plemmons will be the main reason why. You heard it here first.

19.) The 1975 - A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships Saxophones? Electric guitar solos? Backing choirs? A concept album about being uncomfortable with the internet? Dumb pretentious song titles? This album couldn’t be any more in my wheelhouse if I made it myself. Its best song is basically a modern reimagining of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” for God’s sake!

For me this wasn’t just an album, it was an experience. It was big music to get lost inside of. And I did. At age 36 it’s nice to know that sometimes I can still feel 16. And it’s fitting that a band named The 1975 would be the ones to make music that’s so transporting.

20.) Emma Stone Ok so as someone who once argued in this very space that Emma Stone deserved an Oscar nomination for Easy A, it’s clear I’m pretty deep in the tank for Emma Stone. But even an Emma Stone hater would have to admit than this was a banner year for Emma Stone. Signing up for the insane acting challenge that was Maniac and completely acing it while totally exposing two-time Oscar nominee Jonah Hill in the process? Going toe to toe with Olivia Colman in the battle of the best acting performances of the year in The Favourite? Coming across as more charming than Jennifer freaking Lawrence ?!?

2018 was Emma Stone’s year, we were all just living in it.

#this is america #drake #emma stone #the 1975 #eighth grade #a star is born #beychella #nanette #jesse plemmons #succession #thank u next #angels in america #big mouth #serial

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reading-writing-revolution · 5 years ago

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Don't be an asshole; don't be like Trump. Give a fuck.

I'm not and have never been a liberal (I've never voted for a Clinton) - I'm a registered Independent and always have been, and I agree with every word of what's below the dotted line.

I don't consider this to be a liberal standpoint at all. I consider it to be a "I'm not an asshole" standpoint, or a "We could solve these problems if we actually gave a fuck about other people" standpoint, but too many people in power or privilege are too threatened by these ideas. They think liberty and dignity and rights are finite commodities, and if someone gets equal amounts, another person might get less - less liberty, less dignity, fewer rights. This is stupidity in action, but Americans, in general, are not known for critical thinking, and politicians prefer citizens dumb and pliant.

Think again. In a country that put a man on the moon and won two world wars, we can't solve these problems? Sure we can. But we won't because too many people are too happy to let their neighbors suffer. If you're one of them, read this, then go slam your hand in a door, then come read it again and get a fucking clue...maybe the pain will help you think clearer and you can salvage some of your humanity.

You're welcome.

-------------

"I'm getting a little tired of being told what I believe and what I stand for. I'm liberal, but that doesn't mean what a lot of you apparently think it does.

Let's break it down, shall we? Spoiler alert: Not every liberal is the same, though the majority of liberals I know think along roughly these same lines:

1. I believe a country should take care of its weakest members. A country cannot call itself civilized when its children, disabled, sick, and elderly are neglected. Period.

2. I believe healthcare is a right, not a privilege. Somehow that's interpreted as "I believe Obamacare is the end-all, be-all." This is not the case. I'm fully aware that the ACA has problems, that a national healthcare system would require everyone to chip in, and that it's impossible to create one that is devoid of flaws, but I have yet to hear an argument against it that makes "let people die because they can't afford healthcare" a better alternative. I believe healthcare should be far cheaper than it is, and that everyone should have access to it. And no, I'm not opposed to paying higher taxes in the name of making that happen.

3. I believe education should be affordable and accessible to everyone. It doesn't necessarily have to be free (though it works in other countries so I'm mystified as to why it can't work in the US), but at the end of the day, there is no excuse for students graduating college saddled with five- or six-figure debt.

4. I don't believe your money should be taken from you and given to people who don't want to work. I have literally never encountered anyone who believes this. Ever. I just have a massive moral problem with a society where a handful of people can possess the majority of the wealth while there are people literally starving to death, freezing to death, or dying because they can't afford to go to the doctor. Fair wages, lower housing costs, universal healthcare, affordable education, and the wealthy actually paying their share would go a long way toward alleviating this. Somehow believing that makes me a communist.

5. I don't throw around "I'm willing to pay higher taxes" lightly. If I'm suggesting something that involves paying more, well, it's because I'm fine with paying my share as long as it's actually going to something besides lining corporate pockets or bombing other countries while Americans die without healthcare.

6. I believe companies should be required to pay their employees a decent, livable wage. Somehow this is always interpreted as me wanting burger flippers to be able to afford a penthouse apartment and a Mercedes. What it actually means is that no one should have to work three full-time jobs just to keep their head above water. Restaurant servers should not have to rely on tips, multibillion-dollar companies should not have employees on food stamps, workers shouldn't have to work themselves into the ground just to barely make ends meet, and minimum wage should be enough for someone to work 40 hours and live.

7. I am not anti-Christian. I have no desire to stop Christians from being Christians, to close churches, to ban the Bible, to forbid prayer in school, etc. (BTW, prayer in school is NOT illegal; *compulsory* prayer in school is - and should be - illegal). All I ask is that Christians recognize *my* right to live according to *my* beliefs. When I get pissed off that a politician is trying to legislate Scripture into law, I'm not "offended by Christianity" -- I'm offended that you're trying to force me to live by your religion's rules. You know how you get really upset at the thought of Muslims imposing Sharia law on you? That's how I feel about Christians trying to impose biblical law on me. Be a Christian. Do your thing. Just don't force it on me or mine.

8. I don't believe LGBT people should have more rights than you. I just believe they should have the *same* rights as you.

9. I don't believe illegal immigrants should come to America and have the world at their feet, especially since THIS ISN'T WHAT THEY DO (spoiler: undocumented immigrants are ineligible for all those programs they're supposed to be abusing, and if they're "stealing" your job it's because your employer is hiring illegally). I'm not opposed to deporting people who are here illegally, but I believe there are far more humane ways to handle undocumented immigration than our current practices (i.e., detaining children, splitting up families, ending DACA, etc).

10. I don't believe the government should regulate everything, but since greed is such a driving force in our country, we NEED regulations to prevent cut corners, environmental destruction, tainted food/water, unsafe materials in consumable goods or medical equipment, etc. It's not that I want the government's hands in everything -- I just don't trust people trying to make money to ensure that their products/practices/etc. are actually SAFE. Is the government devoid of shadiness? Of course not. But with those regulations in place, consumers have recourse if they're harmed and companies are liable for medical bills, environmental cleanup, etc. Just kind of seems like common sense when the alternative to government regulation is letting companies bring their bottom line into the equation.

11. I believe our current administration is fascist. Not because I dislike them or because I can’t get over an election, but because I've spent too many years reading and learning about the Third Reich to miss the similarities. Not because any administration I dislike must be Nazis, but because things are actually mirroring authoritarian and fascist regimes of the past.

12. I believe the systemic racism and misogyny in our society is much worse than many people think, and desperately needs to be addressed. Which means those with privilege -- white, straight, male, economic, etc. -- need to start listening, even if you don't like what you're hearing, so we can start dismantling everything that's causing people to be marginalized.

13. I am not interested in coming after your blessed guns, nor is anyone serving in government. What I am interested in is sensible policies, that just MIGHT save one person’s, perhaps a toddler’s, life by the hand of someone who should not have a gun. (Got another opinion? Put it on your page, not mine).

14. I believe in so-called political correctness. I prefer to think it’s social politeness. If I call you Chuck and you say you prefer to be called Charles I’ll call you Charles. It’s the polite thing to do. Not because everyone is a delicate snowflake, but because as Maya Angelou put it, when we know better, we do better. When someone tells you that a term or phrase is more accurate/less hurtful than the one you're using, you now know better. So why not do better? How does it hurt you to NOT hurt another person?

15. I believe in funding sustainable energy, including offering education to people currently working in coal or oil so they can change jobs. There are too many sustainable options available for us to continue with coal and oil. Sorry, billionaires. Maybe try investing in something else.

16. I believe that women should not be treated as a separate class of human. They should be paid the same as men who do the same work, should have the same rights as men including decisions about their own bodies, and should be free from abuse. Why on earth shouldn’t they be?

I think that about covers it. Bottom line is that I'm liberal because I think we should take care of each other. That doesn't mean you should work 80 hours a week so your lazy neighbor can get all your money. It just means I don't believe there is any scenario in which preventable suffering is an acceptable outcome as long as money is saved."

Author unknown

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knightofbalance-13 · 7 years ago

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Let Me Get This Straight Part 2

http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/173704450716/bruh-what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you-i-dont

Just fucking say ‘I was wrong to recommend it’ or ‘The writer was wrong.’

“I should have been clearer.

What I meant to say is that from a quality and personal preference standpoint, it’s good. Plagiarism isn’t okay, in any sense of the word. But, I feel that if people are going to complain, then they shouldn’t be going after me. I’m just the messenger. But, if you’re that guy who left that review on my fanfic (which I deleted, but I still have the notification about it), can you do me a favor and not? - I’d rather my tumblr shit be kept to tumblr, and anything related to the fanfic be kept to the fanfic. “

A. Not what you said:

“I hate jaune harem fics. Ergo, anything that isn’t a jaune harem fic is good.“

You never said that and there was no tags in the post so this is EVERYTHING you said. You never said that and I have no reason to think you meant this.

B. You promoted the fanfic as better than RWBY. You promoted a blatantly stolen fanfic as better than the original show, telling the author it was okay to steal.

C. You bring tumblr shit into your fanfic all the time. You regularly threaten to make me into a villain in your fanfic.

D. You STILL haven’t reprimanded the author for this. You haven’t6 even said you’ll look into it. Have some artistic integrity.

And in all honesty, I find it a bit hypocritical. RoosterTeeth’s claim to fame was a glorified Halo fanfic that pretty much got all but endorsed by the makers. RW/BY is a bunch of stolen assets that were never called out on because the companies who originally made them were afraid of a legal battle. Several Youtubers who review the show got their videos flagged for copyright, and nobody really says anything.

A. Right fucking there. It was endorsed and in fact FUNDED by Bungie. Not to mention that it was a PARODY of Halo which falls under fair use but still has BARELY any connection to Halo whereas Lust Reaper is not a parody and has entire sections copy/pasted from the fanfic.

B. Not only was that asset stuff from the GRIMM ECLIPSE game, not only was that DISPROVEN (https://lovenotefromcoco.tumblr.com/post/155633293739/slashmaiddeviantartcomartrwby-wtf-645284611) but it was never even proven that the assets where stolen and not BOUGHT off a store from somewhere. Because you can buy assets and as long as you modify them or put some new programming into them, it’s fine. Not to mention those ‘stolen’ models are all gone now since the switch to Maya.

and C. RT ACTUALLY STEPPED IN TO HELP THEM. Why? Because it was YOUTUBE that flagged them, not RT.

oh, D. YOU’RE DEFLECTING. You’re trying to hide the fact that you said it was okay to plagiarize work from things you didn’t like and trying to avoid looking wrong. Now either step up like a man and admit your mistakes or keep being a coward.

So again, why bitch and complain about me, when the writer’s story is literally linked to, and you could politely ask to list that jaune harem fic as inspiration, or demand that it be taken down for plagiarism? - I mean, if certain people are allowed to defend people who are advocating for racial genocide, then I don’t see the problem in me saying that a plagiarized story is good from a personal standpoint.

A. They already have and you promoted it as a better product.

B. https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/172353455860/moldyfingers-thewhitewolfofthewest I never did that Dudeblade, as your own link proves.

And C. YOU’RE DEFLECTING AGAIN.

You are so morally bankrupt that instead of admitting you were wrong, you’d rather blame EVERYONE ELSE than say you made a mistake.

All while claiming to be writer.

Zero artistic integrity.

Add-on:

http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/173707797931/with-full-offense-youre-a-real-piece-of-crap

Fair enough. But you still ignore the fact that RT stole assets and scared companies by the threat of legal action.

And trust me, if I could fuck myself, I would. Who better to fuck me than ME? I would know all the best ways to fuck me, so me fucking me would be beneficial. The only question would be whether it’s incest or masturbation…

Scared WHAT companies?

One of the companies mentioned was Bethesda with a net worth of 2.5 billion dollars. Rooster Teeth has a networth of 1.5 million. Bethesda could crush RT by the weight of legal bulls alone and make it up with interest by releasing RWBY mods for Skyrim. Another is Crypton Future Media, the people who made Miku the Vocaloid. They make 20x RT’s net worth every concert. You think RT could actually threaten ANYONE with the piddly amount of money resources they have especially giants like these? You’re fucking stupid.

And STILL artistically bankrupt because you STILL haven’t decried the author of that fanfic for plagiarism or taken back what you said.

Fuck you.

#dudeblade

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pcyheartgirlx · 7 years ago

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In The Bleak Midwinter [CH3]

Genre ;; Angst/Smut/Fluff/Romance

Pairing ;; Chanyeol x Reader x Seokjin

Word Count ;; 10.1k

Summary ;; “We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.”

You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.

You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.

So what happens when you mix fire and ice?

You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.

A/N ;; PLEASE CHECK OUT THE PLAYLIST I MADE FOR THIS FIC. This chapter is FLUFF. Tooth rotting, heart softening FLUFF. I just want to thank everyone who is reading this so far. I’m really excited because you guys have NO idea what’s in store. I hope I’m doing a good job at keeping you guys fed <3 Anyway, this is a Jin chap. THE INTERACTION IS NEARING sdgiuhsduighsihe Y’all aint gonna be ready for it, I swear.

[PLAYLIST] [BACKSTORY] [PROLOGUE] [CH1] [CH2] [CH3] [CH4]

“I don’t care what you have to do to get me five minutes of his time. Just fuckin’ do it!” you screamed into your phone, scribbling away at some papers on your desk. “Fine, fine, fine,” you continued. “But I'm not going to fly back to America for nothing, so you better hope he has a change of heart within the next month or so.” You slammed the phone down on the receiver, picking it up again as it rang.

“Starlight Catering, this is (Y/N),” you answered, awaiting a reply. It was your recruiter, Ronnie, giving you good news. The KBS Gayo was coming up and you were hoping to recruit new and exotic types of men and women for this event. Another goal you had was to find the classiest escorts you could.

“Well, fuck me,” You said laughing into the phone. “You’re brilliant, Ronnie. Send them over. Make sure they have their passports and I’ll wire you some money.” You stayed quiet as you listened to him. “Well, what do you expect? Russian girls are crazy…and money hungry.”

You exchanged a few more words, tapping the pen at your desk before you hung up. Everything was going according to plan, as usual. While you were rallying up the new numbers for your expenses, you heard a knock at your door. You didn’t answer.

“Oh hell, (Y/N) let me in!” Maya called from the other side of the door.

“Not a chance, Maya,” You replied. Scanning your den to see if you could find a certain account book, trying to ignore her swears.

“Please! I promise I won’t be a burden,” she begged. You got up and walked over to the bookshelf that kept all your financial records and pulled a binder out. Before walking back to your desk you took a glance at the door where Maya kept knocking and pleading repeatedly.

Being a CEO was stressful to say the least. Everything fell on your shoulders if shit hit the fan. But it wasn’t like you weren’t used to it. Living in New York City your whole life, your family was well known. Drugs, money laundering, prostitutes, hitmen, nothing moved in or out of the streets without your family’s say so. But you couldn’t do it anymore. Your life was constantly on the balance. People wanted you dead and they would stop at nothing. Hell, even your own family threatened your life. Even when you were a petty prostitute in Vegas trying to break free from your family name, working for shit money, even your last ditch efforts leaving the family and the country to be with Jiyong, they wanted you dead. That was four years ago. You remembered snorting away your problems just as Jiyong did.

“Get ready baby,” He said to you. His words still engraved into your head. “It’s going to be you and me, just like I said it would.” Look where that got you. Granted, you made a name for yourself and no one was out to get you anymore but...sometimes you wonder where you would be if you had just said no to him.

Thoughts of Jiyong were clouding your mind. You decided to let Maya in because if you were left alone, you would have gone to a dark place deep into the confines of subconscious.

“You’re lucky I love you, hoe,” You said as you opened the door. Maya let out a squeal and wrapped her arms around you.

“Can’t you bother Damon?” You choked into her embrace. She let you go and walked passed you, making her way to the chair in front of your desk.

“I did! But he kicked me out because he’s a rude cunt that wants to sleep rather than spend some time with his best friends,” she pouted at you as you sat back down in front of your papers, placing the binder in front of you, you began to flip the pages and study the contents.

“Yeah, well, try not to interrupt me, I’m really busy today. Ronnie just called me from Russia earlier and we’re getting a new shipment of—“

“Why hasn’t Yoongi called me?!” She cried out, interrupting your thought and doing the exact opposite of what you had asked her. You sighed and decided to humor her knowing that if you didn’t, she would probably get more upset than she needed to be.

“I don’t know, Babygirl,” you commented while flipping through another page, thumbing through some numbers. “Maybe he’s busy? You know he’s part of one of the busiest groups in the business.”

“Yixing is the busiest person in China and he still calls me!” She scoffed and slumped back in her seat. You were a little surprised, to be honest.

“Yixing still calls you?” You had an idea but never wanted to ask. Maya was always sensitive about Yixing. She used to say it all the time, he was the man she was going to stop trapping for. But just like most, when the trap life reels you in and you see dollar signs next to 7 digit numbers, you lose touch of what’s important to you. You knew that too well.

“Of course he does!” She crossed her legs and leaned her head on her hand. “We had something special, you know.”

“I told you, you should have gone with him,” you replied in a somewhat condescending voice. Accepting that you weren’t going to get any work done, you closed the binder and interlaced your fingers giving your best friend your undivided attention.

“And leave you guys? You’re out of your bloody mind,” she scoffed. “Plus I know he’ll be back (OT9 fuck yea, okay sorry)...eventually.” Her voice trailed off as she began to lose herself in her thoughts.

“Well, you have Minseok and Jackson. You’re not completely alone,” you said trying to make her feel better. She just shook her head and shot you down.

“Yea well, they’re not Yixing...or Yoongi,” she pouted while crossing her arms. “It’s not like you can relate anyway. You have Chanyeol!” You lowered your gaze and pursed your lips. “By the way,” she started as she leaned in. “Hows that been going? Why haven’t you seen him lately?”

“Because he’s been busy and so have I,” you stated simply. She scrunched up her face, disliking your answer. “What? It’s the truth, he’s been working closely with his dance instructor. You know he’s improving,” you sighed as she rolled her eyes. “What was all that for?”

“Because you’re just lucky!” She threw her hands up in frustration. “It’s been the same amount of time and you’re over here just calm as ever. I wish I could be like that.”

Truthfully, it did bother you. You were just as frustrated as Maya. But you know it wasn’t intentionally. On the plus side, he called you every so often to check up on you. But, he wasn’t the only reason. Jin crossed your mind many times this week. Your whole week was out of whack. Still, sometimes you wish you were like Maya. She never hid how she was feeling and was always vocal about her emotions. You never allowed yourself to do any of that. You did exactly what you’re doing now, drown yourself in work.

“That’s because I keep myself busy,” you added, leaning back in your chair, stretching your arms over your head. “You used to work the casinos back in Birmingham. Why don’t you buy someone out here and take over?” She shook her head and scoffed in disgust.

“No, no,” She retorted, putting her hands up and shaking them. “That’s a part of me that will stay in Birmingham. I don’t want anything to do with that utter mess.”

“If you say so,” you shrugged and sat back. Maya still had a look of utter dismay. She was extremely sensitive even if she played the tough girl act. You saw through everything. Sometimes, she saw through you too. She was one of the few that you had let close to you, along with Damon. Suddenly a thought came back to you as you glanced at the time.

“Hey, what do you say you get your nails done by Coco? My treat,” you said sweetly to her. “She should be here any minute.” Still pouting, she looked over at you intrigued.

“Can I get the diamonds?” she asked. Her mood changed instantly. She was like a dog wagging her tail, waiting for a treat.

This fucking bitch, you thought. She’s definitely milking it.

“Yes babygirl, you can get the diamond--”

“Okay! Thank you so much! Have I told you lately how much I love you? Because I love you a lot,” she gushed. You just rolled your eyes at her and looked at your black nails.

“What color are you going to get?” she asked looking at your nails as well. You paused a minute, thinking about it intently.

“I think...I don’t know...maybe black again,” you said confidently. Maya scrunched her face up at you.

“Of course,” you just smirked at her comment and continued to study your grown out nail color, not being able to think of any other color you wanted. Your thought was broken as the phone rang. It must be Coco you thought as you picked it up.

“Starlight Catering, This is (Y/N),” you chimed.

“(Y/N), hey it’s me,” You heard Jin’s voice on the other side of the phone. Suddenly you had jumped up out of your chair, fist pumping into the air and sat down calmly as ever. Maya just shot you a look of utter confusion and disgust.

“Seokjin! How are you?” you said in the sweetest voice you could muster. Maya was at the edge of her seat, watching you intently as she knew too that you were waiting for this phone call all week.

“Oh, I’m okay. Thank you for asking. I hope you’re well,” he said, his voice was as soft as you remembered.

“I am, thank you,” you lied. After all, it was your favorite lie. There was a pause on the phone. You could tell he was still nervous about this whole thing. You thought maybe you should take the first step but you were thankful when he beat you to it.

“Are you busy later?” he asked hopefully.

“Hm,” you replied, trying not to seem too eager. It was always best to keep a man on their toes. “I don’t think so. How late are we talking?”

“About 7:00 this evening?” So early you thought. But you did want to see him. You decided to take that risk. The details could be hashed out later.

“Sounds good,” you smiled into the phone. “See you then.” The minute you hung up, Maya started jumping up and down waving her hands.

“Bitch! How?!” she started stomping around, screaming. “I’m so excited for you, bitch, but how? Bitch how? How? Why not me, bitch?” You laughed at her while she threw her tantrum.

“Y’all bitches need to get your fucking lives together because Coco has been ringing the doorbell for 20 minutes and y’all are just in here calling each other bitches,” Damon interjected as he entered the room, Coco following behind him.

“I got here as quick as I could! And to be kept waiting outside,” she said, all her equipment in hand and placed it on your desk. You ran over to her and took it from her, being respectful as she was your Noona.

“I’m so sorry, I was on a business call that I just wrapped up! Would you like something to drink? Maya go get her something--”

“No, it’s quite fine. Damon already offered, dear,” she took your hand and examined it. “Are you sticking to the same color?”

“Of course she is. Why would she--”

“Actually,” you said cutting Maya off, looking down as your black nails. “I think I’ll go pink instead.” Bringing your hand back up to your face, you tried to envision the color on you...and against someone else’s skin.

x-x-x

“I don’t know why I’m so excited, Damon,” you said as you walked down the block near the BigHit dorms. You didn’t want to ruin your makeup so you had your Bluetooth on. Maya always said you reminded her of an old man in a taxi when you had it on.

“I don’t know either bitch,” Damon replied with an attitude. “Chanyeol is so much hotter than him anyway.” You rolled your eyes at his statement.

“Stop. It’s not a competition.”

“You’re right because Chanyeol wins by a landslide. Jin looks like he’s into that soft, slow jams fucking. Like he wants to make love and shit,” you laughed at his comment.

“So what?” you spat back.

“Oh no...no, no, no. Matter of fact, nah,” Damon chanted.

“Nah what?” The New York accent in you was creeping out. “What’s wrong with that?”

“You not about to get soft on me, bitch,” you could hear the New York in him creeping out as well. “Fuck that, I will cut you, you heard me, hoe? I swear to god, you deadass wilding with that shit. (Y/N), you really testing me--”

“Damon, you sound like your mom right now,” you chuckled. He gasped right away.

“You take that back, bitch. You know what? You better put respect on my name because I know where you sleep, and girl--.” Sometimes you missed when you and Damon could speak freely like when you guys were back home. This wasn’t one of these times, though.

“Listen, I just got to the front of the building,” you said, cutting him off. Your voice echoing in the lobby. “I promise I’m not getting soft and I promise I will call you when I’m on my way home.”

“Let me tell you something about promises,” he started. “If you come home and you look like you fell pussy first into the arms of another dick, I promise I will tie your titties into a bow and staple them to your chest. THAT’S a promise.”

“Aw, I love you too sweetie,” you replied sweetly, unphased by his comments. “I’ll talk to you later though, bye!”

“Bitch you better not hang up on me because I’m not done--” and with that, you hung up on him. You wiped your hands on your dress as you boarded the elevator. It wasn’t just excitement, it was nerves. Jin made you feel things you haven’t felt before. And part of you was hoping that this time, it would be different. You wanted to feel him plow into you, fucking you like it was the last time he was going to see you. Hope was all you had left as you approached the familiar door. You gave it a knock before hearing footsteps scurrying towards it.

“(Y/N), wow you look stunning,” he said in awe. You smiled brightly at him. Stunning wasn’t the word for you as it was for him. He was wearing a bright blue Balenciaga button down with stark white pants. He looked angelic.

“Oh no,” you brought your hand up to push your hair behind your ear. “I don’t look any different from the last time you saw me.” He returned the smile.

“I know,” he smirked at his own pickup line and you couldn’t help but beam happily at him. “Well, come in. I don’t want the food to get cold.” Food? You thought to yourself.

“Um, did you say food?” you said as you followed him in. He simply nodded. “You didn’t eat dinner yet, I’m sorry. Did I come too early? I can wait.” You continued while walking into the kitchen. You noticed that the round table had two dinner settings and two glasses. “Um...I’m confused.”

“Come,” he walked over to the table and pulled the chair out for you, motioning you to come over. “Sit while I get the food.” Still thoroughly confused, you walked over and sat down. He looked pleased as he walked away, picking up your empty plate and walking away toward the pot on the stove.

“I made spaghetti for you,” he said adoringly as he served your portion. “I’ve been told I’m a really good cook countless times. Oh! And I made garlic bread too, with cheese. I know you’re from America so I tried to make something you would like and probably haven’t eaten in a while.” He walked over to you and placed a plate of spaghetti and meatballs with a side of cheesy garlic bread in front of it. It gave you a sense of nostalgia, not to mention it smelled heavenly.

“You shouldn’t have done this,” you commented, watching him take his own plate.

“What? Why--Oh no you’re right. The garlic. But it’s okay! I have mints. Wait, You don’t like spaghetti, right?” he looked over at you worried. “Well you’ll like my spaghetti,” he said confidently. “Did I tell you that I’m a really good cook?” All that rambling. He was nervous, you thought.

“No, I do like spaghetti and I’m sure you’re an amazing cook,” you replied assuringly. He still seemed confused. You looked down and inhaled. “But all this...you know, this is something you do with someone special. I’m just a prostitute...and this is a...a…”

“A date,” he piped happily as he sat down in front of you. “Is that so wrong?” his eye twinkling as he grinned at you. But you weren’t budging on the subject.

“No but you shouldn’t be doing all this for me, I mean I’m charging you by the hour,” you protested. It seems that he wasn’t budging either.

“I know,” he said twirling the pasta on his plate. “So, I get to do whatever I want since I’m paying for it, right?” he said extending his neck at you.

“Well...y-yea,” you replied back at him, still feeling unsure of this situation. “But--”

“Ah! No buts!” he exclaimed, bringing the spaghetti up to his mouth and slurping it up. As he chewed, he made the most adorable sounds as he enjoyed his own food. You couldn’t help but laugh as he swallowed without chewing. “This is better than I expect. As usual, I outdid myself,” he praised, then motioned for you to try. “Please, let me know if it reminds you of home.” You eyed the plate, salivating at the sight.

“Uhm...do you have a spoon?” you asked timidly. He looked at you with confusion.

“Yes of course,” he said as he got up and fetched you one, the look of confusion still plastered on his face.

“I know it’s weird,” you said as you stuck your fork into the spaghetti, taking some onto your fork. Then you put it against the spoon and twirled it. “When I was in Italy as a kid visiting my grandma, she taught me how to eat spaghetti “properly” for lack of a better word. It’s really childish but I like doing it,” when the spaghetti was perfectly wrapped around the fork, you displayed it proudly. Jin was enthralled by your “invention”.

“Woooow! That’s so smart! Why haven’t I thought of that?” he exclaimed wide-eyed. You shrugged at him and popped the fork in your mouth. The minute you did, your taste buds went into a frenzy. Suddenly, you were back home eating the same spaghetti you used to eat at Filippo's restaurant and you were absolutely living for it.

“Oh my god,” you said with your mouthful.

“It’s good isn’t it?” Jin said proudly, admiring your reaction. You couldn’t believe it.

“Oh shit, this is crack!” Your New York accent seeped through your words. Jin laughed hysterically at your reaction.

“You’re exaggerating!” he laughed, that laughed that sounded like a window being scrubbed clean. It was so contagious and you loved it.

“No, but it is! Fuck, Jin!” you said while you were twirling your pasta in your spoon and taking another spoonful in your mouth.

“We can do that later!” Jin was clutching his stomach as he looked over at you. Calming down so he could speak to you properly. “I’m just glad you like it. Does it remind you of home?” You shook your head and smiled with your eyes. “Good,” he said taking another forkful to his mouth. “So, tell me more about yourself. What do you like to do when you’re not working, (Y/N)?” That was a really good question. You can’t remember the last time you did anything besides work. Even today when Coco was doing your nails, you were still picking up phone calls and making business plans with Maya. You looked at him almost blankly and then shrugged.

“I haven’t really done anything in such a long time. I guess I would say I love being around my friends, listening to music I guess...and playing video games. But we haven’t done that in such a long time,” Your voice trailed off. Jin noticed and he tried to diffuse the situation.

“Yeah, I can tell,” he said as soon as he swallowed another forkful, picking up his piece of garlic bread. “If I can just bring up Mario Kart—“

“Hey! I told you! You sabotaged me!” you exclaimed, point your fork at him. He just laughed and took a bite of his bread.

“That’s what sore losers say,” he commented as he poked your nose. You scrunched your nose as he did and glanced at his finger, admiring how imperfect they were. Every inch, every little thing was perfect to you.

“I know they’re ugly aren’t they?” He noted as he stretched his hands out to you so you could get a better looked. Smiling softly, you ran your own fingers along his, feeling all the curves in his bones before interlacing your fingers with his. A spark ignited between both of you and you couldn’t help but wonder if he felt it too.

“I think they’re cute, and it suits you… because you’re adorable,” you cooed. A sudden pink tint flushed his face at your words. To say the least, you were surprised. “Are you blushing? Is Mr. Worldwide Handsome blushing at a compliment? How unlike you, Seokjin.” You teased.

“Maybe I am!” He said defensively as he took a sip of water. “You’re not wrong, I am Worldwide Handsome,” He said winking at you. “But I also think that I’m allowed to blush when a pretty girl compliments me, no?”

You couldn’t help but feel the heat rising to your cheeks. You haven’t been called pretty in such a long time. It hit you suddenly. This really was a date. But why? You thought to yourself. Why was he doing this?

“Jin, you know you don’t have to do this,” the softness in your voice took Jin back. He shook his head at you, dropping his fork and placing his free hand over yours, letting it linger there for a second.

“Why not?” He asked again, this time mirroring the softness of your voice. “And don't say because you’re a prostitute because that doesn’t matter to me right now. Why can’t I have a date with a beautiful girl?” His words plucked the strings at your heart. You had no choice but, to be honest with him.

“Because...I don’t think you should be doing this for...well me,” you replied, wanting to melt at his touch. He looked at you with purity, his lips parting slightly as he sighed.

“If you’re trying to say you don’t deserve it, you’re wrong,” he stated simply. He leaned in closer and brought your hand closer to him. “You deserve to be reminded by someone other than yourself that you’re worth so much. Such a smart gorgeous girl like yourself should go on dates often. Real dates.” He brought your hand up to his mouth and kissed it softly making your heart rate speed up. “And so should I. So I will,” he continued, letting you go and picking up his fork again. “Even if I have to pay for it.” His words stunned you a bit. Granted, you were used to men complimenting you…when you are under them anyway.

“I suppose you’re right,” you agreed as you stuffed more pasta in your mouth.

“I suppose I am,” he replied finishing the last of his bread. You just giggled as he made his eating groans again.

“The other members are quiet. What did you do to them?” You joked. He just shrugged.

“You’re not the only one I had to pay today,” he said as he slurped up the rest of his pasta. “I gave them some money so they could go out and eat.”

“Aw, why did you do that? I was hoping to chat with Jimin more. He’s so adorable,” Jin frowned at your comment.

“More than me?” He pouted at you. God, you wanted to just drown him in kisses and you hated it.

“Never!” Your voice raising a bit. “Jimin is adorable in an...innocent way. Like a baby. You on the other hand,” you said twirling the last of your pasta. “You’re adorable in the sense where I just want to drown you in kisses,” you said puckering your lips at him. Beating yourself up internally for saying what you were thinking.

“That’s better,” he hummed, pretending to catch your kiss. “I’m saving this for later.”

“Well…” you purred as you placed your hand on top of his. “There’s more where that came from, babe.” He looked like he had shuddered at your advances and you loved it.

“The food was amazing, by the way,” you said trying to change the subject. “Thank you so much. I really hope you didn’t go through too much trouble.”

“Ahhh, no trouble is trouble when it’s for you… I wanted it to be romantic. I was looking up things on the internet and it dawned on me...Lady and The Tramp...too bad we didn’t reenact that spaghetti kiss scene.” He cocked his head and trailed off. He was rambling again. When was the last time he went on a date? Either way, it didn’t matter. You didn’t think you deserved to be there regardless. A girl like you, with a guy like Jin. If he only knew who you really were.

“Let me get these plates clean before we move on to dessert,” he said softly. You put your hands up in protest as he gathered the plates.

“Jin, sweetie, let me do the dishes! As a thank you,” you offered, trying to get everything together for him. He snatched the utensils out of your hand before you could finish.

“Absolutely not, I’ll be the only one doing dishes,” he said proudly. “I don’t want you to ruin your freshly painted nails. Pink certainly is a color that suits you, (Y/N).” Of course, you had gotten that color for him but you didn’t think he would actually notice. Internally you were smiling from ear to ear. But externally, you were sticking to your guns.

“Please, Jin? I would feel terrible if you don’t let me. You went through all this trouble...let me at least—“

“You want to help me out that bad?” He questioned as he turned to you. You nodded and pleaded with him. “Come here.” Starting for the sink, you tried to grab the sponge from him but he held it high, far from your reach.

“Hey, you said I could help,” you whined as you tried reaching for it. He laughed at your attempt while shaking his head.

“I did say that didn’t I?” He pondered as he turned around and turned the sink on. “Put your arms around me.”

“Wait, why? How is that helping?” At this point, he was just making things difficult.

“It helps me concentrate. So what are you waiting for?” His eyes peered over his shoulder, motioning you with a tilt of his head to fulfill his request. “Hold me.”

Realizing that he wasn’t going to let you help him the way you wanted to, you sighed and abided by his strange request. He lifted his elbows so you could snake around his waist, resting your head underneath the lime green Balenciaga lettering that ran across his shoulders.

“Ah, I can work much more efficiently. Thank you (Y/N),” he stayed with relief, even though he was just messing with you. Letting out a small “hmph”, he peered over his shoulder again. “Are you uncomfortable?” You thought about your answer before it spilled out. You were uncomfortable. All this treatment, his odd requests. The thought couldn’t escape your mind. He was treating you like….like a girlfriend.

“Not at all,” You lied. At this point, you were thinking about the dollar signs going into your account the next day. Even though holding him close like this gave you a sense of serenity you had not felt before.

“Good,” He stated simply, continuing to lather the plates in the sink. You closed your eyes and just held him tighter to you. This feeling, is this what it felt like to be in a normal healthy relationship? You tried to think back to a time where you did something as simple as this with Chanyeol but you were drawing a blank. As Jin kept washing, he started humming a tune. You could feel his back vibrating against your cheek as he continued. It was a moment in time you wanted to stop. A moment in your life where you felt like there was nothing in the world except you, Jin and the dirty dishes.

“All done,” he called out, breaking you out of your trance. Nothing inside you wanted to let Jin go but reluctantly you did and let him dry his hands off.

“I still don’t see how me hugging you helped you wash the dishes,” you pointed out. He put his hand on your cheek, those adoring eyes were back to kill you again.

“It motivated me to do a better job because I knew you were watching.” The sweetness in his tone kicking you while you were down. “Now,” he clasped his hands together. “I want to introduce you to my two very best friends, (Y/N).” His two best friends? Why didn’t they just join us for dinner? You thought to yourself. Almost reading your mind, he grabbed your wrist and dragged you into the hallway.

“They don’t really eat pasta so they couldn’t join us,” he laughed to himself.

“Well, what do they eat then? Korean food?” You were completely lost.

“No,” he said flatly. You both were walking down the long familiar corridor, heading toward the double doors at the end of the hallway. “They eat yogurt, fruits…” his voice trailed off as you both reached the double doors. He glanced over at your confused face and kissed your cheek. “I know they’ll love you don’t worry.” Worry? About what? I don’t even know what’s going on!

As you walked in, you were in awe of how big the room was. You scanned everything with your eyes. There was a massive curtain in front of you which was almost the main focus but you couldn’t help but notice all the dog toys scattered on the hardwood floor. The space was big enough for a few dogs to say the least. Your eyes darted toward the curtain again. In front of the curtain, the floor dipped down into a carpeted sitting area with a large sectional couch, 3 recliners, a coffee table and a regular square table. Adorned on the walls were posters, platinum plaques, awards, pictures, and anything BTS related was proudly displayed.

“You like it?” he asked, walking away from you toward the curtain. You just nodded and watched him, following behind slowly.

“Very impressive, Seokjin. You boys really are something,” he beamed at your compliment. You continued to trail behind him as he walked toward a protuberance on the right side of the curtain as if something was behind him. You studied him as he sat down on the carpeted floor.

“(Y/N),” he said pushing the curtain back, revealing a white cage with pink and blue bedding and two sugar gliders just roaming about inside. “Meet Eomuk and Odengie! My two best friends in the world!” he said as he opened the cage. They were just about the cutest things you had ever seen. You knelt down next to Jin and watched him take one of the sugar gliders out of the cage.

“I’m living right now. They are adorable! I’ve never seen sugar gliders before,” you leaned in closer to get a better look. “Which one is which?”

“This one is Eomuk. He cries the most as you can see,” he said as the small creature let out a noise. Jin pet him softly trying to soothe him. You watched him intently but then your eyes traveled back to the curtain. Curiosity was killing you.

“What’s behind the curtain?” Jin looked at you as he closed the door of the cage.

“I’m glad you asked,” he got up and walked farther to the right. On the wall, was a button that he pushed. Suddenly, the curtains peeled back and as they exposed what was behind them. Your jaw dropped slightly. The wall wasn’t a wall at all. Instead, it was made of glass revealing the city below you. It was a sight you had only seen in movies and paintings. The only thing you could do was step back, just so you could take all of it in. You observed the lights and the inky night sky that loomed over it. You could see the tiny red and yellow dots that were cars zooming by. Only now did you realize how high up you were. You stopped suddenly as you felt the table hit your backside.

“Wow, you guys live pretty fucking lavishly. It’s gorgeous,” you said in awe. Jin smiled and started to step toward you. Your hands started to clam up as he stopped only mere inches away from you. His waist pressed up against yours which sent you into a frenzy. You felt him take your hand in his, his free hand cupped your cheek.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked modestly. Out of all the strange things he had asked you tonight, this was by far the strangest. Since when did anyone ask to kiss you if you were on their dime? You tried piecing the puzzle together but you couldn’t find the proper response.

“You never have to ask,” you replied, as he inched closer. “Especially under the circumstances…” you continued. Suddenly he stopped and inched back. No, come back, you thought. Before you knew it, you felt his warm long hands cup your face. His eyes were piercing through yours as he looked at you so deeply.

“Don’t say that,” he exhaled, leaning his forehead against yours. “Just because I’m paying for this, doesn’t mean I’m not going to respect you,” his thumb ran across your bottom lip. “You don’t belong to anyone.”

Who do you belong to?

Chanyeol’s deep voice echoed in your head. Not now, you thought. You didn’t wanna think about him while Jin had you in his grasp. But you couldn’t help it. He infected your mind because he was the only one who had touched you in a year. But even Chanyeol didn’t touch you like this. Falling into his glistening eyes, you just slightly curled the corner of your lips.

“Kiss me Jin,” you whispered. Again, he let himself fall into you, your lips finally meeting in what seemed like an embrace. The fullness of his lips overtook yours, they blanketed over yours trying to cover every inch of you. His hands traveled from your cheeks down to the small of your waist, pulling himself closer to you. He ran his tongue along your bottom lip, begging for entrance. Your lips parted slowly and you felt him invade your mouth. Your tongues snake around each other, dancing together with grace. There was so much passion, so much stillness. Your hands snaked up his torso, resting on his chest. His kisses were like the first autumn leaf. The movements against your lips felt airy and effortless. Every time your lips collided it was a leaf falling and you watched to catch every single one.

There was a feeling in your chest that you couldn’t shake off. Your heart swelled as the kiss got deeper and deeper. Never had you been kissed like that. You had grown accustomed to fast, hungry and animalistic desires, fighting for dominance, teeth clashing, lip tugging. The whole works. With Jin it was different. You got drunk off his affection, high off the fervency you felt with him.

Patience was growing thin so you reached down, migrating toward his crotch. All you wanted was him and his cock to fiercely pump inside you. The fabric was thin and you could feel every detail, causing you to feel the fire ignite between your legs. Suddenly, he stopped and grabbed your hand. He brought you hand up to his face as he pulled away from your lips.

“Not yet,” he breathed into your wrist as he planted a kiss on it softly, your whole body quaking at his touch.

“Why not?” you whispered breathlessly as you watched him trail kisses along your arm. Goosebumps started to creep up and when he noticed, Jin ran his hand up and down your arm. His lips curled up into a smile as he continued to your other arm. You couldn’t take it anymore. You wrapped your legs around him tightly, scooting your bottom to the end of the table to press your body against him, your faces inches away again.

“I can make you feel good, Jin,” you purred as you ran your tongue along his bottom lip. His shaky breath tickled your lips. He brought his hand up again, grabbing your chin with his pointer finger and thumb, running it along your skin as he smirked.

“I know, Jagiya,” he kissed you deeply. “But I can make you feel better.”

Oh shit

“Take this off, please…and do it slowly,” he tugged at your dressed while taking a step back. “I want to admire your whole body.” You didn’t dare say no to his request. Gingerly grabbing the hem of your dress, you pulled it over yourself with haste, leaving you with just your bra and panties. Jin’s eyes never left you, he bit his lip and studied you like you were a masterpiece. He stepped closer to you again and you took him into your arms immediately. Jin started for your neck, planting kissed as light as a breeze dancing across your skin. He kissed you everywhere you could possibly think of. It was like a stream of sunlight warming your skin as he kissed your cheeks covering every inch of your face. He moved back to your neck traveling down to your chest, grabbing at your breasts as he made his way from one side of your chest to the other. You let your head hang back as you let him adore you. He rubbed your breasts in circular motions as he started to crouch continuing to kiss you on your stomach now. His kisses started to become deeper as you felt him slightly suck at the skin on your sides. You placed your hands on his shoulders. All your senses on overload. He resumed traveling lower until he was kneeling on the floor and his face was buried in between your legs.

You looked down at him, admiring the sight and feel of him. He never stopped kissing you. His lips made their way from your outer thigh, down your knee then traveling to your inner thigh, making you jump at his touch. When he noticed, he grabbed onto your bottom tightly, trying to keep you balanced. As he got closer to your womanhood, he switched thighs, starting at your outer thigh. JIn loved to tease you. But then you thought about it and really thought about it in his perspective. He wasn’t teasing you, he was adoring you. Savoring every inch of you, craving the flavor of your skin on his lips even after he already had a taste like an addict. All you could do is sit there on the table and let him ravish you. Suddenly, you felt a tug on the fabric of your panties, he looked up at you as he pulled them down, never taking his eyes off you while he pulled them down, past your knees, throwing them to the side as he peeled them off your ankles. He put a hand on your stomach, pushing you back slightly so he could get a better angle of your essence. You leaned back, propping yourself up with your arms. He gave you one last final gaze, his eyes were clouded with lust and anticipation.

It was like it happened in slow motion. He dove into you, closing the space between his lips and your womanhood. His tongue tracing the line where your labias met. You inhaled sharply as your felt yourself shiver underneath him. He moved his hand from your thigh and moved it to your entrance, parting your lips leaving you exposed. The way his plush lips felt against your clit, sucking it softly had you twitching. As he took your clit into his mouth, his tongue flicked against it repeatedly.

“Oh, my god, Jin,” you moaned. You looked down and watched him starting to bob his head at the junction of your legs. His mouth alternating from sucking softly as your clit to lapping away at your entrance. Your hand started to rake through his hair as he slurped all your juices. His tongue was working slowly against you. He kissed at your entrance softly while looking up at you, engrossed in the faces of pleasure you were making. His tongue poked at your slit as if he knocking for entrance, your hips bucked forward, completely burying his face in between your legs. His face disappeared in you but you left him, slurping al the wetness that seeped out of you, sticking his tongue into your slit and out while he let his two finger move against your clit slowly.

You were melting in his mouth, at his mere touch. His tongue was swirling inside you, feeling your inner walls. He moaned into your skin, the vibrations causing you to fall back on your elbows. You couldn’t stop staring at him. Watching him work at your box was almost as amazing as the way it felt. Every so often, he’d bob his head a little higher than before granting you a sight that sent you into a frenzy. Your juices had fully coated the lower part of his face, his nose, lips, and chin. Suddenly, you felt pressure at your entrance. He had inserted a finger into you as he continued to tongue fuck you, his fingertips never leaving your clit.

A loud moan escaped your lips and your legs wouldn’t stop shaking. You could feel yourself reaching your climax as he repeatedly hit your spot. He removed his fingers from your clit, taking it in his mouth as he sucked and slurped at it hungrily. His two fingers joined the one that was already in you and you shot back up, running your fingers through his hair. He looked up at you and you locked eyes. He watched your face contort, loving every minute. He licked your clit steadily as he felt your walls tighten around his fingers.

“I’m coming, Jin,” you warned, not wanting him to get your cum all over his face. He stopped suddenly and smiled up at you deviously. That was it for you. You orgasm rippled throughout your whole body. He quickly pulled his fingers out and started lapping against your hole, catching all of your liquid thirstily. Your eyes widened at him as he pulled away and rubbed at your clit again, letting the rest of your cum squirt out on his hand., not only were you coming all over the table but his arms and chin were dripping down to the carpet. Down his neck and arm.

Your body was weak and your arms couldn't hold you up anymore. You laid back and sprawled out on the table. Before you knew it, you heard the sound of his belt unbuckle. With the smallest ounce of energy you had left in your body, you propped yourself at the noise. Part of you knew what you had to do while the other one couldn’t even move without feeling you were gonna collapse. Still, he gave you the most amazing head you had ever gotten so you knew you had to return the favor.

“My turn,” you purred at him, reaching behind your back to unfasten your bra. He wiped his chin and stood up, towering over you and shook his head.

“No,” he said simply. “I don’t want you to, baby.” You cocked your head in confusion as you threw your bra to the side. He couldn’t keep his eyes off your breasts and how the bounced slightly at every movement you man.

“You don’t like it?” you asked. His pants fell to his ankle and he started to unbutton his shirt.

“I do like it. I love it,” he slid his light blue shirt off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. He opened your legs once more and positioned himself in between them. Then he pushed you down softly so you were laying on the table again. “But I just want to be inside you.”

You shuddered at his words.You wrapped your legs around him as you felt his cock against your soaked kitty. He grabbed his member and placed it on your entrance, just letting the tip in.

“Don’t play games with me,” you whined as he hovered over you. His arms on either side of your head as he leaned them on the table for support. He inched closer to your face and admired you, ignoring your comment. His lips were parted and he licked them quickly.

“You’re going to look so beautiful in a second,” he whispered as he closed the space between you, kissing you softly, the taste of your elixir still stained his lips. When he pulled away, he was still for a second. But only a second. He jerked his hips forward, his cock invading your insides in the most intoxicating way. Your arms shot up to his elbows. Even though you were laying on the table, you still felt like you were going to fall into an abyss of pleasure and euphoria, not being able to come back. His thrusts mirrored exactly who he was. He pumped into you with the rhythm of a romantic ballad. You felt every single inch of him inside you, your walls suctioning him to you.

“You’re...you’re so fucking, perfect, (Y/N),” he groaned as he rolled into you. “I want to be in your forever.” Now there was a lot of things you heard while you were getting fucked but this wasn’t one of them. Your body bounced to his thrusts and you couldn’t stop trembling under him.

“Fuck me forever then, Jin,” you moaned as he looked at you, studying your whole body. “I’m yours.” He bit his lip and picked up his pace slightly. Every stroke sending you into a blood buzzing ecstasy, you were drowning in him.

His thrusts became erratic and sloppy. You could tell he was trying his hardest not to come, but you wanted to violate his silent protest. Constantly hitting your spot, your walls tightened around him. He threw his head back at the feeling.

“Jagi, you want me to come don’t you?” he said shakily, he leaned in and put his hand on your cheek. You bit your lip and nodded at him. “Be...be mine forever then…” he husked. You could see his body starting to shake, you knew that he was about to bust. You flexed your muscles around his cock as tightly as you could and brought yourself to his lips, letting them meet in a smoldering kiss that sent you both over the edge. He moaned into your mouth and he released inside you. You whimpered in retaliation, coming all over him and the table.

His body doubled over and almost crashed on top of you. Instead, he threw your legs around him and wrapped arms around you, picking you up from the table and carrying you effortlessly.

“Jin what are you doing?” you whined. “I cant move!” He hushed you and kissed your cheek as he walked over to the couch and plopped down on it, you laying on his front side.

“You have to learn how to stop questioning me because I know best, baby girl,” he said, placing a hand on your back. Your head was laid on his chest, you listened to his rapid heartbeat and sighed.

“Whatever you say, Jin,” you chuckled. “No really whatever you say goes if that’s how you’re going to be fucking me.” He held you against him, running his hands up and down your back.

“Well, I did say forever didn’t I?” he kissed your forehead and leaned his head up against you. You sighed and made circles on his chest with your finger.

“You did say that...but you could say anything when you’re in the throws of passion,” you pointed out. Unsure of why you would say something stupid like that. He just tisked at you.

“You don’t have to believe me, (Y/N),” he said confidently as he tried to bring you up close to his face. “I’m just going to have to prove it to you. And I will,” he kissed your forehead again. “You watch.” Your stomach was in knots. What had you done? Reality started to sink back in. This idea of forever, of being part of a perfect and beautiful story with Jin. That was all unobtainable. A normal life, you thought, was not made for you. You wanted to melt in his arms and believe those words. But you couldn’t allow this to happen to him. You couldn’t allow this to happen to you. Your body tensed in his embrace.

“(Y/N)? Are you alright?” he asked with the most gentle voice. You swallowed back this feeling. It was a feeling you never allow yourself to feel. The walls started closing in on you and you knew what you had to do.

I need to get out of here.

“I’m sorry, Jin,” you said picking yourself up and looking at him with regret. “I have to leave.” His face dropped and he propped himself up as you jumped off him, heading toward your bra and panties.

“No, (Y/N), stay for a while longer,” he begged, grabbing his pants from the floor and slipping them on. “Please?”

“I can’t Jin...I have to--” you started to choke on your words. This was not the time to start crying. Fuck no. “I have to get home and make sure the girls and guys are doing okay...you know...making revenue of the night.” You pulled your dress over your head and fixed your hair. He just walked up to you and put his hands on your waist.

“It was something I said, wasn’t it? Aish, what is it? Tell me...just don’t cry--”

“I’m sorry, Jin. I hope you call me sometime soon. I had an amazing time, but I do have to go,” your voice was trembling as you leaned in and kissed him passionately.

“(Y/N)...” he called out to you as you walked away from him and out of the room. You didn’t want to look back. You’re such a fucking idiot, you thought to yourself as you walked down the corridor toward the front door. The tears were pooling at the edges of your eyes, threatening to fall at any second. Until…

“(Y/N)! I’m sorry, I just came in to get something. I know you and Jin are--”

“It’s okay, Yoongi. I was just leaving. Have a goodnight excuse me,” you said trying to snake passed him.

“Oh wait up (Y/N) because I was wondering what Maya’s number was since I lost it--hey are you okay?” he suddenly stopped and looked at you with concern.

“No...I mean, yes I’m okay,” You said shakily as you dug in your purse looking for Maya’s business card and handing it to him. “Here, call her soon. I have to go. It was nice seeing you again,” and with that, you ran out of the door without looking back. You needed to get as far away from here as possible, you thought as you ran for the elevator.

Once making it outside, you just ran. Emotion taking over you, everything hitting you at once. What did I do? You kept asking yourself.

This is what you had done.

You tried to dabble in something different which like a leap across mountains to you. Change isn’t something you did well. Scared of losing it all. Scared of taking on too much. Scared of being scared. You don’t know what possessed you to stay in bed with Jin that night. You could have ran. You could have just gone into the right room, taken that L, fucked Yoongi, lived with the embarrassment and gotten over it by now. But something inside told you to just try it. Taste the forbidden fruit.

Jin was the type of lover that admired you. The type that saw you as a goddess, everything you did was with purpose and he never doubted you for anything. In the short time that you had spent with him, you learned that there was someone out there that still saw you as (Y/N) and wanted to continue to explore the space of your mind. In such a short time, you let him fall into your galaxy and instead of taking what he could from the experience and ran, he revered at your imperfections like stars. When you were together, you felt like your planets crashed into each other. Everything you thought you knew about your little galaxy, that sacred nebula you created for yourself, was gone. Jin was like your rebirth. He was what remained after that eruption. You were completely undone. Like raw matter in his hands, he studied and admired you giving you a new sense of purpose and identity. You didn’t have to be the CEO of Starlight Catering or the Princess of the (Y/LN) family. You could just be (Y/N).

But with Chanyeol, it was different. He was your protector and he saw you as his precious galactic familiar. He lived perfectly in your universe. He had grown accustomed to the imperfection in your stars. He didn’t fall into you though. He flew. He wanted to go every undiscovered territory in your cosmos just to say he had been there. To remind himself and you that he was always going to be there and nothing was ever going to eliminate your sacred nebula because he was your guardian. The planets aligned when you were together. Fate acting like two magnetic forces pulling you to each other with impetus. The passion in his convictions and your yearning to feel alive again created a power between you so strong it disturbed the other worlds around it. He changed your life for the best...and for the worst in some ways. An old part of you died when you met him, she was weak and unfit to be anyone in power. You were a dying star but Chanyeol ignited that supernova. Ever since then, different and much more beautiful stars were born. He created a new constellation that burned brighter than the last and vowed to keep it as radiant as the day he created it, by any means necessary.

Suddenly, your phone rang. You wanted to keep running, powering through all the tears that streamed down your face but when you saw the name Sehun on your screen, you decided to pick up just for Damon’s sake.

“Starlight Catering, This is (Y/N),” you said as sternly as you can.

“Hey (Y/N), uh...I was wondering if you were home because Damon was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago and he’s not here yet,” the maknae said nervously. You just continued wiping the tears from your face, using all your energy to compose yourself.

“Um, No I’m sorry Sehunnie but…” you choked. “I’m not home. He’s probably running late again. You know how he is?” you tried to laugh a bit but you were suppressing so much that it sounded like a whimper. Sehun thankfully didn’t notice.

“Yea, I know. I just...I’m excited I guess. It’s been 11 months already and next month is going to be a year and I didn’t think I would even last this long with a girl...wait...why am I telling you this? I’m so sorry, there’s just a lot going through my head,” he confessed. You tried to smile a bit because honestly, this was the most adorable thing anyone ever had to say about your best friend.

“It’s okay, I understand. A whole year is a long time to be intimate with someone,” you sniffed. “Do you have something special and kinky planned? Maybe we can talk a discount for being so loyal to us,” shakiness not leaving your voice.

“I didn’t even think about that, shit. Now I have to plan all these things...hey (Y/N), I don’t mean to be rude but are you okay...I know it sounds silly but you sound like you’re crying.”

Fuck, you thought. What’s your fucking problem? You were letting down your guard and that wasn’t acceptable.

“Y-yea, I’m fine,” you tried assuring him. “Just um, if I hear from Damon I’ll let him know you’re waiting. I’m sorry about that. But I have to go, let me know if you need my help planning anything, okay?”

“O--ok. But whatever it is, I think you should call Chanyeol,” Sehun’s voice was coated with worry. He never really tried to get out of line with you but he knew something was up.

“Everything is fine, Sehun. Enjoy your night,” you said into the phone before hanging up. You stood there in the middle of a residential area without any destination previous. You just needed to get away. Turning your phone back on, you put your location on Uber and waited for your ride.

x-x-x

“Hello?!” you cried out as you walked into your apartment. The only response you received was your own echo. You stormed your way into the kitchen and dropped your purse on the marble island.

Wine, you thought to yourself desperately. You reached over to the fridge and stopped yourself as you touched the stainless steel handle.

No.

A substitution doesn’t make it any better. What you really wanted to do was take a bump and just go out and work. But that was the old you. The old you drowned her problems in buffers. You couldn’t run away anymore. Accepting what you needed to do, you slinked down to the floor and sobbed.

You never allowed yourself to feel. Everything was business all the time. The faster time passed, the less you had to think. It wasn’t just meeting Jin that fucked you up. It was the pressures of this business, parts of your past, things you had seen and things you had done. It was creeping up on you. This was a long time coming. You laid your head back on the island, just melting into the floor.

Stop.

You were tired. You just wanted to stop. There is no point in this, you thought. Get up and get your life together. But your legs were paralyzed.

There was a pounding on the door. Your head snapped toward the sound and you were frozen. There was a pause, causing you to lean forward. There was another bang. Your native instincts kicked in.

The tears stopped abruptly and you were clutching to your purse. You didn’t carry heat on you anymore, you felt like guns were beneath you now. But a knife is always necessary and you've won many fights in your days. Even when your opponent was a hollow barrel. You snaked your way up and walked closer out the kitchen and toward the front door, hearing another series of banging against your door, getting more aggressive than before.

“(Y/N)...It’s Chanyeol,” His voice stopped you in your tracks causing you to drop the knife. It echoed throughout the hallway. “Please...let me in.”

A/N ;; Thank you so much for reading! Next chapter is GOOD and chapter 5 is EVEN BETTER AHHHHH okay let me stop. Chapter 4 will be up in a few days <3 Leave your thoughts and message me! I want to know who my readers are lol :*

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voix7 · 7 years ago

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Is maya a good program? :o I'm interested in 3D modelling but literally know nothing about it, closest thing I've used to a modelling program is sketch up ^^'

maya is indeed a good program. at least the versions i’ve used were. i believe they were 2012-2014 student versions. the older one were jank and glitchy sometimes though but when i had a 3d modelling class at my uni the 2014 version seemed to be a lot more stable so they’re probably fine now.

there’s things you gotta ask yourself, though, if you’re interested in learning:

what do you want to do with the skill?

how do you plan to learn, schooling or individually?

do you want to pay for maya, monthly?

these things are important, because they’ll tell you whether or not you even need to learn on maya specifically or not bother with it at all. because there’s a handy dandy thing called Blender which is a totally free 3d modeling software that has gotten better by leaps & bounds over time

if you’re learning by yourself, using the internet and tutorials, use blender hands down. its free and because its open source the community is extensive. you can always transition to maya if need-be (blender even has maya preferences to make it easier), but definitely start with what’s free

yes, maya student version is free. you can lie and get it for free. other than autodesk being a bad company to fuck with, there’s also no point in using it and learning maya if you don’t plan to eventually pay for it!!!! because then you’ll just end up with blender anyway and will have to learn brand new software all over again. save yourself the headache!

think about whether you just want to model for fun, work on indie things, or work in the AAA industry. 3d modeling has a steep learning curve, especially in maya. don’t slog through maya if all you want to do is have a fun time. again, save yourself the headache and start with what’s free. you don’t need to know maya unless you want to work on AAA games and the like

now, if you’re actually wanting to take a class for 3D modeling, a college course should be teaching you maya or 3ds max– the industry standards. if they’re teaching blender run the other way, regardless of what you want to do with the skill. blender is fucking free, there’s literally no reason to spend hundreds of dollars to be taught blender. if you’re paying you should be getting the advantage of a) student version software and b) learning the most commonly used professional software

so basically: doing 3d modelling for fun? blender. want to work on indie stuff? blender or maya. want to work in a company or on AAA titles? maya* or learn 3ds max in place of maya. it’s the other big modelling software

also a tip for starting out: learn how to effectively model for games then go from there. while things are certainly changing due to software & hardware getting more extensive and powerful, games still have limits to the amount of polys models can have. models also have to be done certain ways as to not break the engine or programming or cause glitches.

these kinds of limits help form good modelling habits (no ngons, correct topology, starting with general shapes, etc) that you might otherwise skip over. game models actually have to function, not just look good in a still. if you don’t learn function from the outset you’re gonna have a bad time.

edit: also keep in mind 3d modelling programs tend to be on the intensive side, so if you want to do really poly-heavy modelling or any sculpting you’re going to need a pretty good computer and video card for it. especially with sculpting. mudbox for example requires a nividia or radeon graphics card to function properly.

#Anonymous

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opseths-blog · 7 years ago

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Changing the World One Love Story at a Time

“Slut,” “whiny,” “fake-” these are just a few of the many names Taylor Swift is called daily. She is slut-shamed, her music belittled, and her character slandered simply because she writes from experience. This bad image comes from the amount of relationships Swift has been in and the songs she has written about them. Despite her bad reputation, Swift still wins the hearts of millions of people worldwide every day; she is one of the most influential artists of the twenty first century, as shown through her charitable nature towards not only fans, but strangers, and her music that transcends genres and charts.

Ongoing aspects of Swift’s private, personal life have led her to be hated by not only the media, but society, and even former fans. She has been called derogatory terms, such as “serial dater,” “whore,” and most recently “snake.” These terms could not be more far off, as she has proved again and again with her treatment of her fans. Before the release of her latest album, titled 1989, she brought fan interaction to a new level with the start of “secret sessions.” These sessions consisted of an intimate party with several fans, Swift, and a preview of the new album. She has continued these sessions in London to celebrate the release of her new album Reputation. Fans from various countries were invited to visit with her. For example, Vanessa, a fan, posted on twitter that Swift was “stalking my twitter for a year…and knew my name the second she saw me” (Sands). Swift goes out of her way to be there for her supporters and handpicks the fans that join her. She knows the impact her music has, and uses that knowledge to benefit her listeners.

In addition to all she does for her fans, Swift goes out of her way to help those that have little or no connection to her. In light of her court battle against a DJ who groped her in 2013 (she won for a symbolic one dollar), Swift announced she would be giving money to charities for sex-assault victims, saying:

I acknowledge the privilege that I benefit from in life, in society and in my ability to shoulder the enormous cost of defending myself in a trial like this," she said in her statement late Monday. "My hope is to help those whose voices should also be heard. Therefore, I will be making donations in the near future to multiple organizations that help sexual assault victim defend themselves. (Puente)

Donations were private, but the organizations could announce them. Mariska Hargitay, known for her role on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, announced the donation her foundation, Joyful Hearts Foundation, received, saying she was “"honored to be recognized" by Swift for its work helping survivors of domestic abuse, sexual assault and child abuse” (Puente). In the same fashion as this humble action, Swift has donated to many other charities, never announcing her contribution. She donated to the Houston Food Bank in honor of her mother, Andrea Swift (who graduated from University of Houston), after Hurricane Harvey. This donation was only made known after the organization posted a thank you to Swift, stating she gave a “very sizeable” donation (Gibbs). The largesse in Swift’s action is revealed through the recipients’ kind words such as these in response. Swift also wrote the song, Ronan, secretly, in support of a young boy who died of neuroblastoma (a form of cancer, most commonly found in young children). She found out about Ronan by reading his mother, Maya Thompson’s, blog, specifically the section, “How to Live Like a Rockstar” (Bonaguro). She created the song by combining quotes from the mother’s blog and listed Thompson as the co-author. In her blog, Thompson wrote a response to Taylor’s song, in the form of a letter to her late son, stating Swift “hadn’t forgotten about your beautiful blue eyes and our love story” (Bonaguro). Swift has performed the song live only twice, at the Stand up to Cancer event in 2012, and at the Glendale, Arizona stop during the 1989 tour, as a surprise for the Thompson family. All proceeds of the single go towards the Ronan Thompson Foundation and other cancer charities (Horton). Swift’s every action is scrutinized by the media, but this song somehow made the cut. She does not need praise from others, and acts simply to help those in need.

Despite spending so much time with fans and those in need, Swift has still managed to make five albums reaching multiplatinum status, and her sixth, Reputation, is sure to live up to its predecessors. She released her first album, self-titled, when she was only sixteen years old, which peaked at number five on the Billboard 200, and all the singles reached platinum status, a huge debut for any artist. She managed this advancement in the music world while ignoring common tenets of the process, insisting on “writing her own songs, mining real-life experiences” (Roland). Swift has always used this technique, often being criticized for her songs about love, a common theme in music of all genres. She released four albums within the country genre, seamlessly shifting into pop in 2014, with her best-selling album, 1989. Swift has had nineteen Grammy nominations, winning ten, and becoming the first woman to win Album of the Year at the Grammys twice. She has won multiple other awards, including Entertainer of the Year twice at the Country Music Association Awards, as well as being the youngest female recipient to receive the award (Hoffman). Her music has left an impact on multiple people, especially young adults who view Swift as a role model.

Throughout the span of her almost decade long career, Taylor Swift has charmed the world and is arguably the most influential artist of this century due to her altruistic behavior towards a multitude of people and her powerful music that has consistently topped the charts. She is one of the kindest celebrities when it comes to fan interaction, which shows through her secret sessions. Her charitable actions have benefitted millions of people and her good nature is sure to continue. All of this is in addition to what made her famous: her music. She has won dozens of awards from the pure quality of her songs. The media has portrayed Swift in a negative light, but she has risen above this, and will surely continue to.

#taylor swift #taylor nation #reputation

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hookfrance6-blog · 5 years ago

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A Mother, a Daughter, and Grieving through Anger

Photo courtesy of Maya Beano

By Danielle Pergament

Here at goop, we prize intimacy and honesty. We talk about issues that are important, affecting, and often highly personal. It is with that in mind that we will occasionally feature essays and letters from writers telling their own stories. It is our hope that these first-person pieces resonate with you, move you, and even make you think in a new way.

Dear Mom,

It’s hard to know where to begin, so let’s start with this.

Remember the time you told me that I would never win a beauty contest compared to K? Or, for that matter, to my other two sisters either? Do you remember when you said it? It was my wedding day. Funny thing is, we weren’t even having a fight. It was just delivered as fact. I’d like to tell you that this was the most hurtful thing you ever said to me. But I’m not sure that it was. There are just so many to choose from.

I remember when I was little, reading all these books and seeing all these movies that had the same underlying message: Mothers are sacred! The love of a mother reigns supreme above all other loves! It is from their very body that we are born. They sacrifice for us, they do anything for us, their life’s mission is to keep us safe and warm. I would see that stuff, even as a kid, and somewhere inside I’d think: Huh. It would take years for me to figure out why those mothers-are-hallowed stories never sat right.

I was the youngest of your four daughters. I think I was about five or six when I first remember people comparing us to Little Women. Looking back, I think King Lear would have prepared me a lot better. At least then I would’ve known that families could be torn apart by greed and money—or that love could be quantified by diamonds.

I don’t think you wanted to be my mother as much as you wanted to be a friend. But the kind of friend you became wasn’t the kind I could share my deepest fears or dreams with. It was the undermining kind—the mean-girl friend whose approval you crave but who also makes fun of your clothes. I was in high school when you called me “chubby” (to you, it was a fate worse than death). And I was in college when you told me I was too skinny. There was the time you said my natural part was “so ugly” that I should brush my hair to hide it. And the time you told me to flex my biceps to see whether I was as fit as my sister. You had a whole quiver of those verbal arrows, all crafted to injure and weaken but never actually kill.

And holy Christ did you want me to get married. It wasn’t like the “any man would be lucky to have you as a wife,” kind of thing. The way you put it was more “If your boyfriend doesn’t propose in six months, you need to move on.” It was like selling a car before anyone had a chance to figure out that it didn’t have tires.

I thought it was only me. But really it was all of us. As M, your son-in-law, who liked and loved you as much as anyone and was a far better child to you than any of your actual children were, said: “It’s as if she casually tossed hand grenades into every relationship in our family.” Not early on, and not all at once, but for half a century, you really perfected this skill until every last one of us was left smoldering in the ashes.

For a long time, the concept of forgiving you was foreign. It was foreign to our entire family. I had to learn it, the way a blind man would have to learn what “blue” means.

Just as I realized how very much you and I needed a real connection, that I needed to forgive years of hurt and pain and shitty comments, it was then, a year and a half ago, that you died.

To the outside world (and yes, to me, too), you were a diminutive, blonde, blue-eyed Swedish farm girl with an opera singer’s voice and a small child’s shyness. You saw art everywhere and tried to instill in all of us a love of Mozart and Verdi. You were soft-spoken, elegant, and incredibly sweet. It wasn’t an act; it was real. You loved my father, you loved us (in the way that was available to you), and you were unfailingly compassionate. Especially to abused animals and suffering children in faraway lands. It was enough to make me wish I were an abandoned racehorse.

It took me years to reconcile that someone so adorable, someone who, because of her accent, could never learn to say “three” without it sounding like “free,” could use that same charming Scandinavian lilt to tell me that I would never be as successful as one sister or as artistic as another sister or as good a gymnast, horseback rider, you name it.

I do not hate you. I have never hated you. We were symbiotic. For years, you were either the last person I spoke to before bed or the first person I called when I woke up. Right up to my thirties—and at least a few times a week after that. You always answered the phone—and to a child, that is so very important, that consistency so valuable. It was the actual conversation that usually left me shaking with rage or stained with tears or hanging up when I could take no more. But I’d always go back. And you’d always answer. Ours was a singularly painful codependence—but you were the only mother I had. And I knew that, even though you could hurt me, sometimes deliberately, you loved me.

You were beloved by so many people—and I could see why. You loved parties and champagne and dancing and laughing at men’s jokes and being a bon vivant and acting like a 1970s wealthy Westchester hostess who wore Halston (which was kind of what you were). People adored you, including and especially your children. In your own, often misguided way, you wanted to connect with me. It’s just that you ended up comparing me to my sisters (probably not such great parenting), and more often than not, I’d feel as if I had to defend my own worthiness against such a star-studded roster.

It would take decades for me to understand the extent of the damage. I was so young when I learned to compare myself to other women—to my own sisters! And when I found myself falling short (which I usually did), when I felt lost or alone or unloved, I’d break down. Your suggestion was as simple as it was impossible: “Stop being so sensitive.” Not: “What’s wrong?” Not: “Talk to me, sweetheart.” But: “Stop being so sensitive.” (Remember when you offered me a dollar every day I didn’t cry? Kids cry, so that didn’t work, though the Do Not Emote message was pretty clear.) Of course, your prescription backfired: My sensitivity, maybe it’s called hypersensitivity, is probably my defining characteristic.

I tried to do the sensible thing: I tried to repress the pain—bury it, push it down, lock it shut, and wipe my hands of every last hurtful remark, snide comment, gut-wrenching put-down, or unanswered cry from my childhood. It worked pretty well. Occasionally the anger would bubble up and I’d have to really muscle it down again like a suitcase that can’t…quite…close.

But then I had a daughter. And two years later, a son. I learned to be a mother—a highly imperfect, fiercely adoring, obsessively in love mother. I became so curious about my kids—who they are, what they like, what they dream of—that it made it all the harder to understand why you never seemed to care about that with your own children. Well, except for one, your favorite. If only you could have been dismissive of us all equally.

Then came a very dark day.

It was late afternoon, and there was a party at your house. We were all there, and someone casually asked you about your eight grandchildren. And you quietly slid the pin out of the first grenade: “Well, L’s daughter is my favorite.” There it was: Your verbal confirmation that you had a finite amount of love. Apparently, by the time you got to your youngest grandchildren, my babies, well, they could dig for scraps. That’s the part that makes me vibrate with anger: that you didn’t see, that you didn’t care to see, the beauty of my children. That was like an elephant sitting on that suitcase. Years of baggage seemed to zip pretty firmly shut after that.

Then you got sick. I couldn’t toss my baggage and run away. I was denied my escape route. Angry and resentful as I was, I faced the miserable task of sorting out your finances and your estate. Seems pretty clear that it’s a daughter’s duty, even an injured daughter. But one sister—let’s call her Goneril—the one you always said would win the beauty contest, didn’t seem to care all that much about you once you were sick. She didn’t contribute a dime to taking care of you. (I’m sorry to tell you, but she didn’t even come to your funeral. You were hardly perfect, but you didn’t deserve that.) So she peaced out. Grenade two.

In the long, difficult months before you died, your little women had dwindled to three. The bills piled up, and we sold things—your furniture, your crystal, your Halstons. We sold our things too—watches, artwork, treasures you’d given us as graduation and wedding presents. You were living in a mansion you could no longer afford to heat, I was buying your groceries every week, and we had sold valuables to pay your property tax.

Then that phone call and those six chilling words: “A lot of money is missing.”

I’ll cut to the point. You gave one daughter not just more love but more cash. Like: all of it. We asked you about it, and after days of denial, you admitted that yes, you’d given the last money you had to one of your children while the rest of us struggled to pay your bills.

Funny thing is: I’m not even mad about the money. I’m mad that you lied to me for years, and I’m even madder that you let me buy your food with my own money—money I would have liked to save for my own children. But you did. More grenades.

God it’s hard to forgive you. I shouldn’t be mad at you because you’re dead. Because it’s over. Because the last time I saw your body, it was the morning of your death—you were no more than a frail husk; everything alive had fled from you. You were so tiny, wearing that threadbare nightgown.

I know that it’s healthy for me to find forgiveness. The Dalai Lama says so. And I work at goop, the first church of the power of gratitude. And rage and grudges are probably not the shortest path to feeling grateful. But I’m still mad. I’m mad that you never wanted to know me. I’m mad that you never asked—not a single question in forty-three years—how I felt or what I thought. You never wanted to see the world from my point of view.

But the thing that I’m most angry about is that you dismissed my pain. You were Teflon—everything glanced off of you. You were so terrified to leave the tiny shell that you had built around yourself, so terrified to leave the comfort of your own house or your own frail point of view, that you never ventured out to where I lived.

I know it’s hard to forgive people who are dead. But the truth is I said it all. I spent the last decade of my life trying to explain my feelings to you. Sometimes it was more flame-thrower than olive branch. But sometimes I was pretty grown-up about it. It never worked. You got angry, you got defensive, you got hurtful, you got passive aggressive. (“Oh, well I guess I’m the worst mother who ever lived,” you’d say. Which, you know, did not make me feel understood.) I was going to you for the one thing a daughter needs from her mother and can’t really get anywhere else—unconditional understanding, acceptance, love. And I was turned away.

Remember what you said to me a few months before you died? I thought you were asleep but then, almost a whisper: “I never appreciated you.” It’s not the kind of thing you long to hear from your mom—it’s more like the last thing you want to hear. But maybe, in a weird, clumsy way, you were saying sorry.

So I forgive you. Of course, I don’t actually forgive you, but I’m saying it. Like how people say that if you smile when you’re miserable, it will make you happier. I forgive you. I love you. You gave me life. I think inside, you were no more than a terrified child yourself, the seventh of nine. You barely had access to your own parents when you needed it most. And you were so young when you fled—over an ocean, to a new country. You must have been scared to death for so much of your life. I know you were terribly insecure—those sad, quiet retreats to your room, overcome by loneliness, having no sense of self-worth. I’m so sorry. I could have been a lot more compassionate about many things.

We never made peace in life, you and I. We came pretty close to approximating it, but we were always hurt or angry or both. If there is one dream I have for us, it’s that I can give you in death what I couldn’t give you in life: understanding; forgiveness; true, unqualified love.

So: I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you. It’s still not working, but I’ll keep trying.

I promise.

Source: https://goop.com/work/relationships/mother-daughter-forgiveness/

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