#ARTISTS BEWARE I AM GOING TO MAKE SO MANY PURCHASES

[cozylittleartblog]

annual con-going scribble. will be at anime central this weekend 👉👉

[resinatingbeauty]

A 'Witch Shop' Owner's Plea Before Casting That Love Spell

I don't personally offer many spell kits, mojo bags, etc. In my shop and avoid selling my 'Craft', as in, I don't advertise or list spell casting among my offerings, though I have had a couple of customers specifically ask if I could perform a spell I offered as a kit on their behalf for whatever reason. This is because I personally believe that the journey is just as important as the destination in witchcraft and many of the spell kits / spells I do offer are designed in such a way to soothe, relax, release, and heal throughout the process. Honestly, in addition, I really don't want the responsibility associated with performing magick on someone else's behalf for many reasons. The strength of my intent is not going to be as strong as yours, for example. Even if I effectively channel your energy, creating that personal connection between the beneficiary and the intent or purpose of the spell work is incredibly difficult at a distance. I'm always wary of other shops advertising this type of service- the sad truth of the matter is our little niche has been permeated by scammers, con artists, and frauds looking to take advantage of anyone looking for a solution to whatever it is that has them at this low point in life. I will tell you, more often than not it's love spells that the customer is after, and they are apt to find many options on Etsy, the platform I primarily do business on, and beyond.

I distinctly think of one potential customer who had contacted me one night obviously very upset. My heart went out to her immediately - I could just tell by what she was saying and how quickly she responded to me that she was in a state of panic and extreme emotional distress. She isn't the only one, but she stands out from the others as her desire to win back her ex lover was so strong it was evident that she would do anything and (potentially) pay anything for a chance to get things back to the way they were in her love life.

I am a human being. I have been given this amazing opportunity to pursue my passion to share my creations and spiritual / metaphysical knowledge with the world through my work. I understood a long time ago that this also meant I had a responsibility to do my best to help those in need and never knowingly harm, much like a doctor commuting to the Hippocratic oath. This may make me a flat out horrible business woman, but I would rather not sell someone on something I don't believe is going to help their situation. In fact, love spells usually make things worse. I'll get to that momentarily.

"Is there a spell to make her see what she has done wrong and to make her love and want me again?"

I allowed this customer to explain to me the situation and took the time to hear her out after telling her that I'm sure that she could find something like that elsewhere and someone else willing to sell her a spell kit or cast that spell, but I urged her to take a deep breath and talk to me before she did something that she would regret.

Thankfully, she spent the next hour or so explaining her situation and elaborating on everything that has happened in her relationship. It was one of those on again / off again things that so many of us get trapped in. Understandable, considering once you establish that strong bond of love, whether one sided or not, it's incredibly hard to cut that cord and move on especially if you're so emotionally invested (and maybe even financially invested) in this other individual who has had your heart for so long you can't imagine giving it to anyone else.

This PSA goes out to the broken hearted of all walks, as this is a universal experience for anyone who has been in love. There may not be someone to stop you from pursuing what you think will fix everything as I did for her, but I'm hoping if you read this, you'll think twice about acquiring and performing love spells or any magick in hopes that it will provide a quick fix to any situation.

•Beware the Opportunistic Con / Scam

Our field is flooded with scammers, con artists, and frauds that exclusively cater to those in this sweet girl's position and anyone who is vulnerable due to emotional distress or panic. Whether you need a love spell like she did to win back her ex or a quick fix to get more money in the bank or what have you, beware those that have used spiritual advisory and witchcraft as a means to peddle you their high priced garbaged. This is a tough one, as you may have a hard time deciphering what is 'legit' and what isn't, but there are some signs and facts you can look for when browsing these shops / websites.

-They promise / guarantee results within a specific or unrealistic time frame

Magick takes time to manifest and the true story is that nobody has a 100% satisfaction guaranteed spell book. More often than not, when spells come to fruition, it often isn't quite the way you would expect it to, either. Anyone promising a quick fix to anything is most likely just trying to take advantage of you when you are vulnerable and you better believe there will be no money back guarantee if said garbage doesn't work for you. OR, they like to do one of these:

-"Oh, your situation is worse than I thought. You're going to need this and this, with a huge $$$$ price tag."

This starts a never ending cycle of you pouring money into this scammer who will make you believe that it is necessary to do so. That maybe if you did throw them an extra $500 for their thingamajig that you will get what you want. This is only the beginning, as when THAT doesn't do it for you the way you would like, they will claim some other interference, maybe you're cursed or under psychic attack, and need something else even more expensive and elaborate to take care of that before you can even get to what you went to them for in the first place. Anytime someone proposes this type of thing, stop while you're ahead and don't provide them with a guaranteed cash flow that you aren't benefitting from at all. Also, be wary of ANY seller who makes outrageous claims- overnight changes, curing cancer, etc. Are unrealistic expectations.

•Understand What You Truly Need

Maybe it's time to consider an alternative path. The customer I spoke about DID ultimately purchase a tarot spread, which I was much more inclined to do for her than some love spell to win back this girl who has repeatedly broken her heart over the past few years and obviously got a kick out of it, the way she told it, as it was ALWAYS her doing the breaking up and blocking, starting all the drama. I told her I would much rather give her a spell to find her twin flame / soul mate than to win this person back who has perpetually been hurting her and taking advantage of her kindness.

Sometimes it's time to cut the cord before more damage is done. I understand it isn't easy to move on from someone you have loved and cultivated a relationship with over a long period of time, regardless of the negative energy that has invaded the relationship, we DO tend to focus on the positives, which leaves us a bit biased and blind to what we could have and deserve to have.

Take a moment if you are in a relationship situation like this, are beginning to question your current relationship, or are considering taking the next step in any relationship. Sit down with a pen and paper. On one side of the paper, write down all the things you love about that person. All the ways you think they have been the light in your life (be honest and give credit where credit is due!). Now on the other side, list the negatives or cons in your relationship. If one list is noticeably longer than the other, depending on which side it is, it may be time to consider breaking it off, giving things another shot, or taking things to the next level. Ask yourself;

-Do they support me in what I do, even if they don't understand or necessarily agree with it? (So long as it is something healthy -obviously if they're supportive of a bad habit or detrimental behavior, this is more like enabling and not a good thing)

-Do they have my best interests at heart more often than not?

-Do they show that they care? Even in the smallest of ways?

-Could I call them my "best friend?" Am I honest with them?

-Are they honest with me?

-Do they lift me up more than they put me down?

-Do you want the same things in life / have similar priorities?

-Is our relationship valuable to them the same way it is to me?

•LOVE SPELLS NEVER WORK THE WAY YOU WANT

This is the cold hard truth about love spells. Forget the warnings in movies and books, as it is hard to believe them or even take them as a legitimate warning when you haven't had the displeasure of experiencing what a love spell can do for yourself. I have, so you don't have to. This is MY story:

Of course love spells are very appealing when you're a young and naive teenager. I had a strong crush on this guy I had low key been stalking since middle school. I don't know why I liked him so much. Part of it I'm sure was the way he looked (hey, I'm being totally honest!) And how he came across to me. We had absolutely no interaction with each other outside of passing each other in the hallway. He had no idea who I was.

I had just borrowed a copy of Silver Ravenwolf's 'Teen Witch' (which is honestly a fantastic book for teens and young adults just starting to delve into Wiccan practices, which she follows exclusively) from a friend of mine and thought I would try the super simple love spell in the book figuring I had nothing to lose. All it consisted of was focusing on the subject, your intentions, writing their name on a piece of paper, folding it up and placing it under your pillow. I would sleep on that paper for months. I was in middle school just about to go into my freshman year of high school when I performed the spell and would forget about it up until the day it worked, a few months into my freshman year of highschool, when my crush was in the graduating class of that year- literally my last chance to make an impression.

I had gone to a local band's concert that was performing at the school's auditorium one day after classes and was just about to leave when my crush randomly approached me and started talking to me. It was like the whole world just stopped right there. I couldn't believe it. The thought of that spell crossed my mind briefly as we exchanged phone numbers.

Over time and getting to know him, he admittedly wasn't exactly my type. He was still someone whose friendship I valued, but not someone I could really put any effort into dating. About the time I realized this, his personality took a complete 180° turn for the worst. He was stalking me. Blowing up my cell phone (which was a prepaid piece of junk at that time I really couldn't talk on for more than a minute without paying a fortune), so much so one evening when I was at Jukido Jujitsu practice that I came home to something like 32 missed calls and 17 voicemails from him, each one showing gradual frustration and anger. This scared me. I knew I had to confront him about it and break this off before it got worse.

I caught him in a populated area of the school the next day before homeroom- more like he came up to me out of nowhere like he knew I would be passing through that part of the school that day- and I confronted him about the calls,attempting to gently explain to him that I wasn't interested in a relationship and I would like to continue being friends. He blew up at me and threw me against the brick wall of the school, trying to kiss and touch me in front of every single person that walked by. I wish I was making this up.

Thankfully a teacher came and pulled him off. Nothing much else was done. I did my best to avoid him and cut him out of my life entirely from that point on.

I don't know if it was the love spell or if this would have occurred anyways. All I knew was that what had been originally a very sweet, big hearted guy that was soft spoken with low self esteem became a monster in a matter of weeks. The take away from this and what I have personally seen with other's experiences with love spells is that they tend to bring out the worst characteristics of the person they are cast on and you have to be really careful what you are actually asking for when thinking about 'desire' and 'passion.' This intent can quickly lead to stalking, obsession, and not in a good way. Another customer of mine who originally came to me for my Forgiveness Spell Kit and had the desired results also, unbeknownst to me, had someone else perform a love and desire spell in addition to it. The guy that she was reverted into an obsessed jerk who decided to spread rumors about her on social media and beyond, blocked her on all platforms, and would get her friends involved in his quest to make her life miserable. Her story reflects and embodies so many I have heard over the years from others who have dabbled in such spells. When they work, it's just never quite what you had in mind.

So if you came to this blog post in search of a love spell for your personal situation or came across it when you have maybe considered one in the past or know someone who has, please take a deep breath, consider your options, and don't do anything that you may regret down the line. Remember that you are deserving of all the love, respect, support, and happiness one could give another. Do not settle on someone who offers you less and expects more, no matter how much you have invested in them, no matter how many years you have spent with them, as they do not appreciate you for the amazing person you are. I can promise you, however, given some time to heal, you WILL find someone who does.

-Samantha

(Owner /Chaos Witch/Designer)

Blursedbaubles.etsy.com

[rockofeye]

Bonswa Houngan!! I had a question...how do you spot a trained, initiated priest who is trying to swindle you/take advantage of you financially through the religion? I know that this religion can have heavy costs and services just generally cost something but beyond outright fakers or scammers, how do you spot people who are licensed to do the spiritual work of this tradition, but try to take advantage of you or profit off of you? Thanks

Hi there,

This is a good question. One of the unfortunate realities is that there are priests who were made correctly who make bad choices that harm others. Additionally, there are people who believe they were made correctly who are perpetuating that fraud that was inflicted upon them. It’s a crap thing that this is the reality, but the internet has provided a platform for the spread of information and there are unethical folks who take advantage of that and the relative ignorance of folks who are seekers. It’s even worse when they don’t even realize that what they are doing is based in fraud, because that’s what they were given.

I am of the mind that if someone is out there swindling folks or perpetuating fraud, they are not a legitimate priest. It’s a betrayal of the oaths we take as part of our initiation and so when they begin cashing in on people, they lose what makes them a legit priest. You can come out of an ethical djevo and turn out to be a terrible person. Kanzo gives us tools and opportunities, but it can’t force us to be good people or ethical priests.

It can definitely be hard to tell. Because learning and information in Haitian Vodou is passed teacher to student, it can be a challenge to discern what is accurate and what might look pretty but is broken. There’s no one way to figure it out, but there can be a lot of signs and symptoms of stuff that is not so great and/or downright harmful. I’ll write about a bunch of them below, but of course nothing is exhaustive...sadly there is always more.

Here’s some big red flashing warning signs:

They say they have the only ‘real Vodou’. It often is spelled out as that they are the only ones who have ‘real Vodou’. This plays on someone’s desire for spiritual authenticity and the search for a spiritual home, and seeks to create a dynamic where they are the only source of information. After all, who would want something that’s not real? The truth is that Haitian Vodou varies throughout the country. There are definitely some things that are absolutes in the religion, but there’s a lot that depends on location, lineage, style of initiation, and other factors. Insisting that they are the ones who can pass on what Vodou really is boils down to either miseducation (they were conned themselves) or deliberate manipulation (they are being con artists.

Don’t go talk to other people. This often goes hand-in-hand with the ‘real Vodou’ thing. Folks get told that they should not (or outright cannot) talk to other vodouizan. This is often couched as that no one else can help you or that this specific group is made up of bad people or whatever. This is an isolation technique that is setting you up to be beholden to one person or one group. In any other religious tradition, this would be labeled cult-like behavior, but folks seem willing to accept that in Haitian Vodou for whatever reason. 

As a priest, it’s not my job to dissuade you from speaking to other priests or tell you that you should not seek out what Vodou looks like anywhere else. Part of the discernment process SHOULD be seeing as much Vodou as is possible before making commitments, if indeed commitments are what is being asked for by the lwa. It’s not the place of a priest to try and limit your access to the religion even if you it leads you away from them because it is not the job of a priest to limit you. If the lwa want you with someone, they will make that clear if you listen.

(More behind the cut...this got really long)

All the shit talk. Everyone in the religion has their own feelings about regleman and what other people do, and it’s not uncommon for people to instruct their ti fey/children born from ceremony in why what someone else does would not be acceptable in their house. It’s not uncommon for people to be gossipy (because we are all human). What is kinda out of hand is for folks to be outright denigrating someone to a seeker or a client. It’s poor form. We can say that we do things differently, we can say that we were taught differently or that we are not sure why someone would do xyz that way, we can even say that something was not done correctly or that you were misled without going in on some character assassination. This kind of thing is born from jealousy and insecurity, and it’s super transparent. 

Exorbitant prices. Like you identified, things cost money. Neither people nor the lwa work without being paid, and part of the sacrifice of kanzo is the work and time it takes to come up with the financial sacrifice. That being said, there is unreasonable cost. With my airfare/transportation, special clothing, and all my personal shopping included, I paid about $10,000USD for my kanzo. The base fee was $8500, and I was given a complete accounting of what was purchased in my name. I came out of it telling my spiritual mother she should charge more based on the work I saw, but it’s hard to do because it’s already a lot of money for most folks and there’s no reason to ask anyone to pay more, really, since everyone can get paid out of that and all things can be purchased with that amount. No one who is ethical is making money off of ceremonies--it all goes into materials and making sure that everyone who shows up to work is paid fairly for their time and labor.

So, for an asogwe kanzo, it’s reasonable to be asked for anywhere really between $8,000USD and $10,000USD. I could see someone going a little lower than that, but I would side eye someone really hard who is asking for much more. I’ve heard stories of people being asked for $25,000USD for a kanzo, and that’s ridiculous and absolutely out of hand. Also, if you are paying in the $8,000 to $10,000 range, that should include all materials. You should not be being asked to ship barrels of supplies to be used in your ceremonies or be bringing suitcases full of stuff to be used on top of your fee. If someone is going to say that you need to provide all supplies (and a complete asogwe kanzo requires a LOT of supplies...the list I was given as an accounting of what was being purchased for me was three pages long single spaced), the price should reflect that. 

Minimal pricing. On the other end, there are people who ask for so little money that it is not possible to even purchase all the supplies nevermind appropriately compensate everyone who is working on your behalf. I’ve heard of ceremonies supposedly being done for under $1000USD, and that’s just not possible. You are not getting a complete ceremony for that. If someone is trying to tell you that you can get a cheap kanzo, what are they cheaping out on? Do you really want to put your head in the hands of someone who is not going to do the work completely or is being tight with money and perhaps buying substandard supplies or leaving things out?

That goes for free kanzo, too. There *are* situations where kanzo can be done for no money; that is often the biological children of a priest or for someone who is working for the priest long-term. That is how many Haitians in Haiti pay for their kanzo: they live or live close to the temple and work for their initiatory parent to earn their way in. Also, a priest may choose to do the work gratis for someone who is facing imminent death (like, any day now) and the lwa have indicated the djevo will save them. It’s not free, as it will be paid off later, but I have seen priests work completely out of pocket when it is clear that this is the only option to save their life.

But...being offered free kanzo as just a regular person who needs the work is not a thing. It was offered to me before I went in with my spiritual mother, and I remember thinking about what they would actually be taking payment to do that, i.e. how much of my soul would I be leaving behind with them, however unknowingly. There is absolutely no free lunch.

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Also known as ‘if you bring a couple friends, you won’t have to pay as much’. Packing a djevo with whomever can be compelled into it doesn’t make anything cheaper, it’s just that they want to collect as much money as possible and they know that people in the US love to think they’re getting a deal. There is no bulk discount on labor, in that the priests working your ceremonies are not going to be happy being paid less to do more, and the machann is not going to give a bulk discount on chickens and other things. That’s just no how it goes. Beware the person who wants to sell you a good deal.

Changing prices. The price you are given should be the price, period. There should be no last minute asks for more cash because of some crisis or some other thing that suddenly needs to be done. I hear this more and more often: someone gets to Haiti and suddenly the person who is going to be doing ceremony for them asks them for more money for things that were previously unaccounted for or, even worse, someone says mid-ceremony that more money is needed for something they didn’t outline before. This is taking advantage of your vulnerability in the situation, and it’s super gross. Prices of supplies can change and things can come up, but covering that is what the priest commits to when you are paying your fee. This is serious enough that, in the lineage I was initiated in, there is a contract that outlines how much kanzo costs, what the expected costs are for us outside of the fee, and a suggested outline of how to divide up payments (if necessary). This is not only a guideline and commitment for the person who signs it, but for the priest as well.

Asking for money for unrelated things. Asking you to invest in their businesses, pay for personal services like hair/nails/clothing, asking for expensive gifts in the name of spiritual devotion, etc is outside of anything that should happen. It’s not uncommon for children of a house to contribute to ceremonies being mounted (bringing a bottle of liquor, flowers for the table, contributing cash towards expenses if they are able, etc) but it’s never okay for someone to ask you to give money so they can get a massage or for you to buy them an iPhone or for you to invest in the start-up costs for their business (all real examples I have seen). Deciding of your own volition to give a gift is perfectly fine, but them asking for those things or holding them as necessary for you to undergo ceremony is not okay.

Heavy recruitment. Posts on social media recruiting for kanzo, people inboxing trying to get you interested, holding multi-level marketing lectures or group meetings couched as informational sessions (often goes hand-in-hand with the buy 1 get 1 approach)  if you’re interested in kanzo, etc. A healthy djevo and sosyete does not need to recruit; the djevo fills itself because the lwa send the right people who need to be there.

They hold no other ceremonies for you to attend. Anyone who has not grown up inside the religion should be able to attend other ceremonies in the lineage they are interested in being a part of. The lack of other ceremonies being held is a big red flag; our spirits are fed through our fetes and spiritual feedings, and none of those are really secret (some aspects may be, but all have large public ceremonies). If they are not feeding their spirits in the ways the religion does, then they are feeding you to their spirits (I’ve literally seen people marked as sacrifices are).

And, if you cannot attend their ceremonies, how can you get to know their spirits, their other children, and the community that supports them? It is the first thing I tell people who are interested in serving the lwa: come to a fete and see what the religion is all about. How can you fully commit to something you’ve never seen? Those things should be accessible to you.

The first time you meet them should not be at the airport. That speaks for itself. Initiation and other ceremonies are forged via relationships and the religion is taught in person. If you cannot have a relationship with someone who you can see occasionally, you’re not really getting the benefit of the religion. This can mean sacrifices of time/money (many people travel for their Vodou), but it is worth it. You should not be expected or asked to undergo ceremony sight unseen. This is also why a house holding other ceremonies is important; seeing how the priest works and how they interact with spirits is key.

They have an empty temple. Healthy sosyetes have a community around them beyond the children of the house. Temples are full for ceremonies and are PACKED for kanzo and kanzo-related ceremonies. People travel from all over for fets and ceremonies that are done correctly and completely. The community also has an important function: their presence is endorsing the work the priest is doing, ESPECIALLY around kanzo. If there is no one there or it is only members of the house, there’s a big problem. 

Related: if they are undertaking ceremonies alone, that’s also a red flag. If they have no priests who are willing to come work with them and they are doing all the work on their own, there is a problem.

They are rigid and immovable. This is often pushed off on the lwa being super pejorative. You have to do this thing, or the lwa will be mad. You can’t kanzo at any other time but this, the lwa said so. If you don’t do kanzo with me, the lwa will kill you. If you talk to this person, the lwa will be angry. 

All of those things are real things really frightened people have brought to me personally. This is inappropriate power and control. The lwa understand we have lives and understand that sometimes things cannot happen in the timeline we had hoped. Sometimes there are consequences to not doing a thing, but there are DEFINITELY ways to manage that without things going totally sideways. 

When folks make statements like that, it is really about them and not the lwa. Changing your mind on doing a ceremony can be a let down for the priest who has prepared to do it, but that’s not about you. How you work through that is between you and your spirits.

They cause or seek to cause outright harm. I’ve heard stories and seen the fallout from priest physically assaulting their children for genuine mistakes, smashing sacred items as punishment, coercing folks into sexual activity, calling and threatening family members when they decide they no longer want to deal with abusive behavior and tactics, and all sorts of horrific stuff. I’ve heard these things be passed off as traditional, and that’s a lie. While there can certainly be cultural differences and it can take time to learn to navigate those, assault, threats of violence, and outright abuse is not a part of the religion.

They rush you. While it’s certainly normal for a priest to need to know if you are going to be a part of a ceremony or not and to expect you to pay on time or as you agreed to, there’s no rushing someone into the djevo. I might tell you that the spirits are indicating that kanzo is necessary or that it might be a good idea to do it sooner rather than later, but there is no flurry of chaotic activity that demands you part with a whole lot of money and get pushed right into the djevo. The lwa are patient and if there is an emergent need things can be done to either address that need temporarily or to encourage the lwa to give more time. 

They have no elders. If someone cannot name their initiator and their initiator’s initiator and on, there’s a problem. In Haitian Vodou, that’s not secret information; we are very proud of where we come from (or we should be). If they say they have no elders or don’t need them or have no contact with them, there is a deep problem. Our initiatory parent is our foundation; they even outrank the lwa in that the lwa place us in their hands to follow the expectations that our parent lays out.

If their initiatory parent has passed away, there are systems of checks and balances that still leave them with supports (godparents, priests who oversaw their ceremonies, elder siblings, etc).

If their relationship with their initiatory parent has degraded to the point that their parent won’t show up to the ceremonies they are holding or won’t help, there’s also big problems.

They cannot provide any proof of their initiation. In this day and age, there are ALWAYS pictures and video of our leve kanzo and baptem. Those things are not secret and we looooove our photos and video. They also serve as important proof that we were where we said we were and underwent what we said we did.

If no pictures were taken, they should be able to provide contacts who can verify that they were in the djevo and can verify the ceremonies were done completely and correctly (another reason community and other priests are important). Even if their parent has passed away, there still should be priests who can vouch for them. 

Additionally, there are also other ways that priests can be called out in public to prove that they are who they say there are. There is a whole ritual battle that can happen with the asson/sacred tool priests use, there are specific gestures and language that can be used, and other things that are only taught to people who make it through kanzo. If they can’t do those things or can’t account for them, there’s a big problem.

They mix things in. Haitian Vodou is Haitian Vodou and it’s a complete religion on it’s own. Folks who are selling ‘spells’ for the lwa, who are utilizing rootwork/conjure/hoodoo and presenting it as travay/spiritual work in the religion, who divine with Tarot cards or shells or runes or whatever else, who bring in outside spirits like Orisa or Santisima Muerte or whatever else and claim it belongs are missing the boat. People can certainly have multiple spiritual commitments, but those should be held clearly separate.

Haitian Vodou has it’s own system of spiritual work that is pretty distinct, and the same with divination, prayers, construction of a table for the lwa, and how ceremonies are laid out. For someone who has been taught well, it’s easy to spot but in general passing off all those other things as Vodou is not accurate.

And...sometimes it’s not that they are trying to mislead you. Sometimes they have not been taught how to do traditional work and so are leaning on what they knew previously because it has not been communicated to them that there are traditional ways to do spiritual work or to divine. See above with not knowing that someone has done wrong by them.

They exploit vulnerability. This often rides along with ‘I have the real Vodou’ and it focuses on addressing parts of identities and lived realities that carry weight in our day-to-day and that could be sensitive areas for us. The most common way that this plays out is claiming that they have real Vodou because they only make Black folks in the religion because it is a Black religion. This is super, SUPER insidious and requires some teasing out of threads to really get at what is being said.

It is certainly true that Haitian Vodou is a Black religion, in that it is born out the Black Atlantic, slavery, and colonialism, and that it has deep roots in Africa. There is no reframing or reinterpretation of Vodou that can subtract or nullify that, and any attempt to do so is a deeply racist wrong.

What this presentation of Vodou fails to take into account is it’s Haitian-ness; it divorces the culture from the religion and leaves it as a reinterpretation that isn’t rooted in the actual religion. This is a really carefully crafted whitewashing (really) of a HAITIAN religion aimed at exploiting the deep and true and valid desire that many Black folks have for a spiritual space without white folks and turns it into a cash cow. It’s gross.

If someone really wants to go down the road of ‘real Vodou’ and strip it down to it’s utter bare roots, no one who is not Haitian is getting in the door. That’s what the sales pitch is leaving out; it plays on the want for a space of folks from similar backgrounds and similar experiences and turns it away from the actual reality of the religion. There are many very legitimate lineages and sosyete who do not admit white folks, but they also only admit Haitians. It’s couching a grift under a veil of very true and real things.

It also doesn’t communicate the reality of going to Haiti as a non-Haitian: it can be hard, and it can be doubly hard for someone who might look majority Haitian (darker skinned) but who does not speak the language or understand how to navigate the culture, religious and otherwise. The word for someone who is an outsider no matter their skin color is the same across the board: blan. That can understandably be hard to swallow, and it’s a disservice to present the idea to someone that they are getting the real deal because it will only be Black folks only to be put in an environment where they are unprepared to be a cultural outsider.

This happens to other folks, too. I’ve seen situations where someone is told that they are the only white person that the priest has made, so they are getting the real thing, or that they are the only house that will make a trans person or someone who is queer or gay or whatever. Manipulating people through using core pieces of their Self is pretty heinous.

There are no Haitians. Tying into the above, you cannot do Haitian Vodou without the presence of the culture bearers. It’s simply not possible.

They will not give you what is yours. Someone who is made a manbo or houngan asogwe should have their own pot tet, asson, a kolye, a set of govi, and a set of paket kongo. All of those items should be made for you as part of your kanzo. The specific number of paket and govi can vary a little, but they are yours and you should be able to take them home with you if you want. Many houses give folks the option of keeping their govi and paket in Haiti, but the choice should be yours. Additionally, many sosyetes give asogwe the choice of whether to take their pot tet home or keep in in the Haiti temple. There should absolutely be no discussion about your asson and kolye; if they are not going to give them to you, they are essentially holding you hostage and disallowing you from acting on the initiation you went through with good intentions.

They do not do kanzo in Haiti. This has somehow become controversial, but it’s straightforward: kanzo is only valid when done in Haiti. I see it as presented as opinion or with qualifiers (only asogwe needs to be done in Haiti, etc), but that’s just simply not true. Beyond the outright impossibility to build a complete djevo in the US/outside of Haiti (throwing a little dirt under the floor ain’t it), there are things that must be done when your feet are literally on the dirt and there are parts of ceremonies and preparation for ceremonies that cannot be done in the US or outside of Haiti (chache fey, lalye, a full bat ge etc).

Further, an important part of all kanzo whether it is hounsi kanzo/senp, sou pwen, or asogwe is meeting the lwa in their home. The lwa are rooted in Haiti and how can we profess to want to serve them if we either won’t go there or won’t bring people there? When you go through ceremony in Haiti, you are profoundly changed and it is easy to see why it is so important to make the sacrifice to go there. Trying to find a workaround for that says a lot about what folks are really trying to do.

And, for people who are meant to be manbos and houngans, a ‘kanzo’ that is undertaken in the US is not recognized, meaning that no legitimately made priest can or will greet you as a peer. You can’t be passed an asson to salute spirits in ceremony, you cannot take part in what spiritual work is done outside of Haiti, and you have essentially taken your money and burned it up.

Folks don’t think it’s that serious, but I’ve seen Haitians literally turn their backs on people who profess an American ‘kanzo’ and be disinvited to attend ceremonies until they get right with the religion, and assons snatched out of hands that have not been made to hold them. It’s a real thing that has real world consequences, and that doesn’t even touch the spiritual repurcussions.

Ceremonies that can be done outside of Haiti include lave tet, aksyon de gras, spiritual feedings (if you’re feeling hefty and have lots of people to help), maryaj lwa, and all sorts of fets. Nothing can compare to having them done in Haiti, but they are absolutely valid done elsewhere. Some folks have asked what happens if going to Haiti is not immediately viable (especially with the reality of COVID19), and the answer is that we wait or do other things in the mean time.

So...that’s the big stuff that I can think of off the top of my head. It’s a lot, but that’s the stuff I see and hear about regularly (really). The biggest and best tool that Joe Vodouizan has to discern whether or not what they are seeing is common sense:

Would I accept this as true and valid in any other setting?

How can I verify that this is true/accurate?

Do I feel like I am getting away with something, versus working through a difficult process?

What happens when I ask questions or (politely) challenge what I am seeing/hearing?

Does this make sense?

How do I feel about this?

These are the things that will save you from being taken advantage of. Move slowly and thoughtfully, and listen to your inner voice...that’s your guardian angel trying to guide you.

I hope this is helpful...I know this is probably more than you asked for. Let me know if you have more questions.

[b2bguruclass]

Wedding Time Make-up Recommendations and Guidance

Your wedding day will be one of the very memorable days of one's life. You intend to look and feel the beautiful, glorious bride along with your makeup enhancing your organic beauty. Your every impression, smile and kiss will soon be noted on film so that your bridal makeup needs to be photograph great and search flawless all through your large day. That guide to wedding makeup will take the worries out planning your wedding makeup.

Wedding makeup assistance: Ready your epidermis for your wedding

Unfortuitously many girls delay until they're only a few weeks from their big day before they even start to provide any considered to skin care. Begin early and take care of your skin now. You will need to work-out your skin form to assist you set up a proper skin care regime b2bguruclass This, along with excellent eating routine, drinking lots of water, finding enough rest and regular exercise will assure that the epidermis will be warm on your huge day. For support knowledge your skin type and how to develop a quick and easy skin care routine please study Donna's article; Great looking epidermis - A straightforward 4 stage natual skin care guide.

Wedding makeup idea: Beware facials !

Unless you have facials on a typical basis DO NOT get one the week before your wedding day. Facials may pull toxins to the surface, and you don't want to bust out the week of your wedding. To also support prevent blotches and blemishes do not produce any key improvements in the skin care routine through the few weeks before your wedding. The months before your wedding isn't the time and energy to try along with your skin care. In the event that you often get facials have your last normal face a great week before the wedding.

Wedding make-up hint: Pimples and acne.

If you do have a breakout, do not pick. Don't do anything that can irritate or redden or increase the problem. Use genuine Aloe Vera to deal with any bumps or breakouts. It is a wonderful healer.

Wedding make-up suggestion: Steer clear of too much sun.

Don't get an excessive amount of sunlight before your wedding. Sunburns, ripping skin and color lines may destroy your day.

Wedding make-up advice: Work with a qualified makeup artist or do it yourself ?

If you should be confident in using your own personal makeup there's no reason you can not do your personal wedding makeup. If you are not so comfortable along with your makeup talents your wedding makeup is not the time for you to experiment - you wish to look your utter most readily useful on the day and your wedding images will undoubtedly be your lifetime mementos of your personal day. If you should be doubtful of your makeup capabilities, or just need the peace of mind of not having to worry about your makeup, make use of a professional. In any event read on - I am certain you will see these methods and guidance useful.

Wedding makeup advice: What to consider when planning your wedding makeup.

You will require your makeup to be right for the time, the venue (indoors or outdoors) and match the design of your wedding dress so once you have proved the agreements for your big day, and you have decided the design of your wedding gown, you can begin to think about the design of make-up you prefer. Items to consider include;

Evening or time time wedding ?

Evening marriages are normally more conventional than time time weddings. For a night time wedding think about a more superior make-up look. For a day time wedding make-up tends to be more natural.

Indoors or outside wedding ?

Outside light is stronger so that your make-up must to be smoother and more organic than make-up for an indoor wedding.

The lighting.

Various lighting requires various make-up styles. Night time illumination tends to boring makeup so a stronger makeup search is preferable. Organic and time time light is more good to makeup therefore, again, think about a more natural makeup look.

The colour of one's dress.

Ivory and off white make your skin look softer and may therefore support an even more exciting makeup style. White seems to appear solid and washes out many encounters therefore consider applying smoother colours to boost the face.

The style of your dress.

The tougher the neckline of one's dress the more sophisticated the hair and make-up type should be match the dress's style. A neckline that cuts serious and is off the shoulders can look great with a hair up hair model so your line of the neck and shoulders is found off. Contemplate also the length of the gown, the shorter the gown the more simple the hair and make-up must be. Remember you're making an entire image, don't wear a beautiful gown and fashionable pumps and then use your hair and makeup like you do when you wear your jeans. Do not provide your self short on such a unique day.

Wedding make-up tip: Provide yourself the required time to organise your makeup.

When you meet with a make-up artist, or obtain any makeup, take some time to go through bridal publications and take out makeup models that you actually like and some you never like. Armed along with your bridal magazine reduce outs and an image of your wedding gown guide an session together with your makeup artist for a test run or a consultation at your cosmetics counter. Don't try this at the past minute. Be sure you have a great handful of weeks up your sleeve so you've time for a few periods if that you don't settle on a preferred design and colours first-time up. Once you have your make-up search sorted make sure the makeup artist or beauty guide produces everything out, and records any make-up goods you may not have that you'll require to purchase. If you are performing your personal makeup have a couple of dry goes well before your big time therefore you have the makeup model and look improved well ahead of time.

Wedding makeup suggestion: Be yourself

You intend to look incredible but remember you intend to appear to be yourself and feel relaxed together with your appearance. You will look good and stay within your comfort zone. You would like your partner to be to recognize you once you go down the aisle. Program forward and provide your self time to obtain the make-up search that you love and feels comfortable.

Wedding make-up guidance: Purchasing or selecting your makeup.

So you have settled on your own makeup type below are a few tips and suggestions about your specific make-up requirements:

Foundation: Sort out your foundation effectively before time. The key to effective wedding make-up is ideal looking skin. Be sure that your foundation suits your skin tone exactly and does not look mask like. Provide yourself plenty of time to test and find the perfect basis for you. For help selecting your foundation please Donna's article; Selecting and using foundation - A simple detailed guide.

Wedding make-up suggestion: Spotlight one face function

You know your absolute best skin feature; your plump positive lips, your beautiful eyes or your wonderful check bones. Your make-up should highlight your plumped for feature. Do not decide to try and highlight several function, it can look "a lot of ".If you are using a striking red lipstick to spotlight your beautiful lips go minimal important together with your eye makeup. Conversely if you select a wonderful smoky attention look select a more subtle lipstick or lip gloss.

Wedding make-up tip: Watch out for "felt a good idea at the time ".

Be cautious about fads; in twenty years time hot pink lipstick will time your wedding photos. You want to look as traditional as possible which means that your image thoughts are timeless.

Impact: Turn into a really blushing bride by selecting a hot lovely cheek shade in a pinky peach or flower or, in the event that you tend to have flushed, a golden tone. Experiment and discover the impact colour that suits your skin layer tone. Use a dust based rose, they will frequently last longer than product blushers. To use rose, begin at the hairline by the midst of your ear, mix ahead to the leading of the cheek, and then back once again to the hairline and upwards. For a great program discover an impact brush that is how big the apple of your cheek. After the initial application dirt the impression with some free powder and then apply an impression more impact to the leading of the cheek.

Lipstick or Top Gloss: You will soon be doing lots of kissing on your big day which means you will require a top color that'll last. Work with a flat or longwearing lipstick or top shin because that you don't want to be continually touching up your makeup during the day. Be certain to employ a shade that complements your hair and eye shade and make use of a top boat in the exact same shade family as your lipstick or lip gloss. Don't work with a lip ship significantly darker than your lipstick or lip gloss. This process seems severe and very unnatural in pictures. Choose the lipstick or top shine and lip boat to help keep in your bag for your day.

Wedding makeup suggestion: Smallish lips

If your lips are normally little the light the lip colour the bigger the lips may seem.

Wedding makeup idea: Make-up remover.

Make sure you have makeup removal prepared for any accidents. Everbody knows make-up doesn't just wash down, specially perhaps not down a lovely bright wedding gown. Make-up wipes really are a convenient way to keep makeup removal handy.

Attention darkness: For support choosing and applying your vision darkness please read Donna's report; Beautiful eyes made easy. If you're considering smokey eyes please Donna's article; A detail by detail guide to sexy smokey vision makeup.

Wedding make-up hint: Eyebrows.

Properly groomed and shaped eyebrows support increase and put expression to the face. Have your eyebrows groomed but do this per week before the marriage just in case you get a couple of red lumps following pulling or waxing. Fill in your brows, if needed, by having an eyebrow pad color that is slightly lighter than your eyebrows. Comb through by having an brow brush or even a clean toothbrush for an even more organic look.

Mascara: For additional rich seeking lashes use an lash roller before applying your mascara. Prepare for those holes of happiness by using a excellent water-resistant mascara. Apply two coats, let the very first fur dry before using the 2nd coat.

When you buy your waterproof mascara make sure that you've a watch makeup cleaner that also takes off water-resistant mascara.

Concluding Variations: When you have completed applying your makeup you may want to apply a tad bit more rose, and then finish with a final comb of free powder.

[beezeeart]

Hi! I've started selling plushies on Etsy and was wondering about your opinions on premaking plushies or selling made-to-order (you start progress after someone buys). Thanks :) !

Each have their pros and cons. Beware, my inability to say what I want to say in less than a novella length essay has struck again. Personally, I find selling pre-made plushies to be the least stressful. Someone orders, you stick it in the mail in the next day or two, and that’s (hopefully) the end of it if everything goes right. However selling pre-made plushies requires a ton of storage space unless you are selling them fast. Which is a huge downside if, like me, you live in a smaller apartment that’s already packed to the roof (literally in some places) with plushies. You’ll also need more money up front for supplies. There’s a larger risk, too. Every store is going to vary, but in general an empty storefront doesn’t attract many customers. It’s kind of like if you walk in a store and it’s literally empty except 4 items on a shelf. You’d probably turn around and walk right out without even looking. Even though those 4 times might have been REALLY good items. It’s the same for online selling. So you might purchase a ton of supplies, spent hundreds of hours building up a good stock and then... nothing. Even with my best sellers I sometimes get slumps where they don’t sell or where I overestimate the growing demand for an item and it drops off. Then it sits there for months or even years before I make back my investment. Selling made to order eliminates a lot of those issues. You don’t need to store plushies. You don’t even need to have many materials on hand as you can buy them as you need them. Personally when I’m taking orders I usually am booked about 2 weeks out so I know that all the time I spend working is already profitable which is nice. Plus it allows for more flexibility, you can make one plushie in blue, then put up a color chart and take orders for 50 other colors with just one plushie. The downside to made to order is that it’s much more stressful. Really I could rant on this for a long time, but basically any time you make the online shopping process deviate from the standard people are used to you are going to run into issues with people who purchased on autopilot and then aren’t happy when the experience isn’t what they expected. Specifically, most people don’t read that an item is made to order and are generally unhappy when they discover this because people tend to just purchase with the assumption that what they see in the photo is what they get and no other information is important or relevant unless they have a question they need answered. I joke often with my family I could just put a picture of a stuffed animal and the title and description could say in all caps, “You are just giving me free money, by buying this you agree that you won’t be receiving anything,” and people would still purchase it and then email me a week later asking where their plushie is. Generally these issues can be resolved with good customer service, but even the best interactions can be stressful, especially if this is an area where you struggle. I’m an anxious, over thinker and I absolutely have days where I regret basically all my life choices when I get a string of unhappy customers.Another con to made to order is there may be things outside of your control that prevent you from creating the item. I sell sparkly fleece bats and once I got a massive order for them. More than I had enough fabric to create. So I popped down to Joann’s to pick up some more fabric... and the fabric had been discontinued and no one in a 50 mile radius had any in stock. I had to contact a fellow artist and had them rush deliver me some from their own inventory. Then there’s times you might get sick, or have a family emergency, or a natural disaster, or your car breaks down, etc and you can’t get an item out in time. Or you just plain struggle that week to stay on task and fall behind.Like I said, stress. But for those who are good with keeping deadlines and feel comfortable with customer service, it’s a good option to keep up front costs low. For me personally many of my items are made to order simply because of the way my schedule works it’s very common I’m working on a pattern while I’m taking orders, then I swap to making the orders, then back to designing new patterns while I take more. I’ve been experimenting with a middle ground where I prep some quick/easy parts of plushies and store them until I need them. Like bat feet, narwhal horns, the toppings for the sea pancakes, etc. It’s not ideal in my opinion and I’d like to be able to swap some day to only pre-made plushies, but for now it’s what works. 

[harryjacob123]

Best Laptop for Artists & Graphic Designers

Graphic designers, on the other hand, need an optimal graphics processing unit (GPU) power. There are some specs boxes we need to tick here to get the best-performing portable computer. This is especially true if your talent is also your livelihood.

Be it for artists or graphics designers, here are some of the specifications that you need to look for a laptop.

WHAT DO I NEED FOR A LAPTOP?

As a graphics designer or artist, you’ll need memory power, both in the hard drive, RAM, and VRAM aspects. For sure, you’ll use applications like Adobe Creative Suite, AutoDesk Sketchbook, Palettes Pro, and more. These all eat large memory space during operation. And if you can’t feed it to the software, it will crash or freeze entirely. Here are some points to keep in mind:

💽HARD DRIVE

When it comes to laptops, there are two types of hard drives: the SSD or solid state drive and HDD or hard disk drive. HDDs are common in budget laptops. It’s made of a coated disk that spins when in use, much like a compact disc. Meanwhile, SSD is made of memory chips which don’t move. Also, SSDs are faster even if they have a smaller storage capacity.

For graphics designers, 512 GB of SSD is the best bet. Another great thing about SSDs is that it’s more durable than HDDs in the event of sudden falls or bumps from your desk. For an artist traveling regularly, an SSD is much better. It’s not the cheapest graphic design laptop but worth the investment.

As for data transfer, SSD storage is a champ. It can transfer data for as fast as 20 GBPS given impressive configurations.

But if your priority is a larger storage space, you can always find 1 TB, 2 TB, and even 4 TB SSD. However, this is very, very expensive. This is one reason why HDDs are still big players in the tech industry. Anyway, experts say that tech products tend to get cheaper as years go by.

💽RAM

Get at least 8 GB of RAM or higher for the best performance. If you don’t have the money to splurge on better configurations, I advise that you invest in upgradable units. Beware of sealed laptops as these can’t be upgraded in any way. Some MacBook models are notorious for this.

If you don’t need big storage, I advise that you put your money on RAM. Since this hardware handles the working memory of your laptop, you’ll need more if you’re using multiple CPU-intensive apps.

💽GRAPHICS PROCESSING UNIT (GPU)

The GPU of your laptop is responsible for the rendering of 3D elements on your machine. So if you’re designing and creating graphics, it makes perfect sense that this part for the best laptop for artists. If you’re a serious graphics designer, avoid purchasing laptops that use integrated graphics cards. These are low-level hardware and usually used for general purposes.

Like modern gaming, you need the most powerful graphics possible. Although this isn’t the case for some, it’s best to invest in an advanced model. For sure, you’ll be testing new applications in the future that will require more GPU power.

The NVIDIA GTX series is a good choice as well as the AMD Radeon RX 570, AMD Radeon Pro, and the likes. As a rule of thumb, you should get at least 4 GB of GDDR memory. If you have the money, 8 GB is the best option.

💽SCREEN SIZE AND QUALITY

We’re talking about visual arts here so it’s important that your laptop’s screen is no lackluster. For graphics design and other visual arts, a resolution of 1920 x 1080p is the bare minimum. Of course, 4K laptops are the best if you can afford it.

Nowadays, the cheapest graphic design laptop will use Twisted Nematic panels. However, color reproduction in this type of panel is poor and designing would be a pain. If you want a better option, opt for either VA or IPS panels. VA stands for Vertical Alignment which is notches better than the TN. But for the best option, IPS or In-Plane Switching Panels are unbeatable.

There’s also the so-called Retina which is a proprietary technology of Apple. Unlike typical panels that average 72 Pixels Per Inch (PPI), Retina has around 218-401 PPI. This makes images appear extremely sharp with much-defined details. But like any of Apple’s higher configurations, this is great if you can afford it.

💽PORTABILITY

This isn’t a big factor especially if you have a specific workstation. But for those who are traveling a lot, say photographers or video makers, it’s tiring to have a bulky laptop in tow. I know, MacBooks are light, but you still have other options.

I’ve seen many slim laptops before running in Windows without compromising memory performance.

TOUCHSCREEN FEATURE

For most artists, the touchscreen feature can prove to be very useful. Using a stylus, they can directly create their masterpieces without a separate drawing pad. Still, the responsiveness and accuracy of the screen are important to check.

A detachable screen is a big plus but not always the best laptop for artists. It depends on what you need and what will be convenient for you.

MAC VS. WINDOWS

This is the which-came-first-chicken-or-egg argument of the computer industry. In their own rights, MAC and Windows are excellent operating systems. If you’re going to ask me, it’s all about familiarity. If you grew up to Windows, it would be much easier for you to use it the same way a MAC-accustomed person will find MacBooks a breeze to use.

I guess one of the defining aspects here is that MAC OS/X always comes with stunning displays and excellent memory performance. Let’s admit it, at some point, Apple has ruled our study tables and offices. It was the quintessential computer for professionals. But not anymore.

Brands like Dell, HP, Acer, Microsoft, ASUS, Lenovo, and more have revolutionized their laptop technologies. You can actually get something close to MacBooks but in the fraction of the price.

In short, the MAC vs. Windows is already an outdated argument. Choose what suits you best based on configurations – unless you want to get stuck on the petty brand war.

NOT JUST ABOUT THE LAPTOP

As an artist or graphics designer, it’s not just about how advanced the laptop technology is. No matter how premium your machine is, it would be mediocre if your skill isn’t matched for it. Where am I getting at? If you’re planning to purchase a high-end device, take it as a challenge to learn more and improve your craft. Through this, you can maximize the features of the laptop.

But whining aside, graphics designing and other digital artwork can’t be done using a laptop alone. You need other accessories like a stylus, drawing pad or a graphics tablet. Can you imagine drawing using a mouse? Your early 2000s’ experience with MS Paint must’ve taught you enough.

A digital drawing pad or graphics tablet brings in the natural strokes you’ll do in a pen and paper. Also, it captures eye and hand coordination in real time given that your laptop has enough power. The same goes for stylus and other accessories artists use.

Click Here to Read More...

[steves3511]

So you want to convention

I am going to show you all the supplies you need to rock out your next Comic Convention

At my last convention I attended I was asked about writing a blog post about how I prepare for shows and the essentials I bring with me.  Since I have been thinking of writing a post on this very topic for a while I thought that this was the kick in the pants I needed to finally start writing .This is my third year attending and exhibiting at shows, my second year exhibiting full time as my primary source of income.  Over those three years and almost 30 shows I have exhibited at I have learned a lot about booth setup, packaging, and selling and interacting with customers; and I want to share with you those insights I have learned through trial and error so you wont make those same early mis-steps and hopefully help you have the best show you can.

     First things first, you decide to test out selling at comic conventions and you are like "San Diego Comic Con here I come!"  Hold your horses there brother;  I like many artists strongly recommend starting with your local shows, its hard enough making money at your first show, you don't want to add to that by having to pay for travel and hotel costs as well.  If you are lucky like me and have several friends and family scattered around the country offering a free couch to sleep on it certainly makes things easier, thought that airfare is still pretty killer (baggage fees grrr).  Make things easy for yourself start local and expand out from there.

     So you signed up for your local show, now what? First and most importantly if you are an artist in artist alley you are going to need prints of your work. At shows and online I often get asked where I get my prints from, or if I print myself from home (hell no!!).  Having good prints is really important, it doesn't matter how good your image looks on a computer screen, if it doesn't look good as a print nobody will buy it.  I get my prints from El-Co Colorlabs in NJ (dont worry non New Jersians they ship anywhere)  The prints are more expensive than other places, though I will argue those cheaper prints do not come close to matching the quality of el-co, and I will happily pay a little more for that higher quality. (I challenge anyone to find a place that has better quality at a cheaper price)

High quality photo luster prints for an affordable price, what do you not love about that?

If you are looking to start out slow before splurging on more expensive prints and save a few bucks at the start I know several people get prints from MGX copy and have had pretty good results.  They are a great beginner bang for your buck printer.

     The next big thing you will need is some sort of backdrop.  From experience a lot of the people walking around shows do not look down at the tables, they are all looking up looking for something to catch their eye.  It is really important to have your work up high so people can see it, and to see it from far away.  Every show I have people come up to me saying “OMG I saw your work from way down there and I just had to come over”

     For my backdrop I use a photo backdrop display.  When looking for displays there are a bunch that are cheap and affordable, I strongly recommend getting the most expensive display you can afford.  Those cheap light weight displays are on the flimsy side and may not support your work, try to find one that looks like it is made out of a thicker sturdier metal and preferably says it can support 30-40lbs before bowing.  This is the display I have

Ravelli ABSL Photo Video Backdrop Stand

This is is a similar setup to mine, sturdy enough to hold your prints and also easy to travel with

     Now that you have your display you need something to drape over it and a way to hang your prints.  At my very first show my booth neighbor and super awesome and fellow dragon aficionado Tyler Walpole had a very similar setup to this.  It looked so easy for him to set up/tear down his display, the display also went up high so people could see it from across the hall.  Watching him pull customers in and rake in sales I decided then and there to follow in his footsteps. (note, walk around the show when you can, taking notes on other artists setups and ask them questions, everyone I have met has been happy to answer questions and give helpful advice, you can learn a TON from from your fellow exhibiting artists)  

     What I do is drape a large sheet of felt fabric (Joe Ann’s) over the display and use clamps to hold it in place.  To attach the prints to the fabric I tape the edges of my prints to a backing board and then place velcro to the back of the backing board, the backing board and the print then “sticks” to the fabric and hangs in place.

Heavy Duty Muslin Clamps

I place velcro on the 4 corners and then tape the corners of the print to the backing board.  The print stays flat against the board and to hang it you just "stick it" to the fabric.  Super easy.

     I do recommend having larger prints behind you so it is easier for people to see, these larger prints are my fancy 18X24 limited edition prints.  I use these both as large display prints and also as a higher premium item for customers.  If someone loves your work and has cash to spend and you only have $20 prints then all you are going to get from that customer is $20.

     Okay, now that the backdrop is taken care of now I need a way to display my prints on my table.  First I have some black fabric (Also from Joe Ann’s) draped over the table to make it look all fancy. I then lay out these foldable display stands, one for each print.  Have as many of your prints out on the table as possible.  From experience it is hard to convince people to flip through a print bin/book, so the more stuff you have out on the table the easier it is for people to see and look at.

You can see I have all of my prints laid out in a line so its easy for people to see, you never know what print is going to catch someones eye, solve that by having all of them out.

Gibson Holders 6 DCWB Adjustable Wire Display Easels

If you cant fit everything on the table a good solution for a print bin I have found is this foldable bin I found at Target.  Its the perfect size to hold 11X17 or my 12X18 prints, and its light weight for easy storage and transport.

For the display prints on the table you need some way to protect them and make them stand up.  I currently bag and back all of my prints.  I get re-sealable bags from clearbags.com and the backing boards from Uline (if you don't want 400 backing boards to start you can find them on amazon and elsewhere in packages of 20 or so)  To start out you really only need the backing boards for the display prints; later on as you get busier and want to save precious time during the checkout process you can pre bag all of your prints before the show.  Dont skimp on the bags though, you need some sort of protective bag for people who purchase prints, otherwise they may not buy for fear of damaging them.

     In addition to my prints I also sell tabletop gaming playmats or otherwise known as gigantic mouse pads of my work.  If you are a fantasy artist like me this is a great product to have, gamers love collecting mats that have cool art on them.  Also it helps me stand out from everyone else at the Con, I am usually the only one who has them and its a great option for people who have run out of wall space with all of their prints.  You have no idea how many times at a show I get “holy crap, he has game mats…I need a game mat”  Just beware, these things are super heavy and add a lot of weight to your setup.  If yo are interested in trying out some game mats I strongly recommend Drew Baker, I and many of my friends use him for his mats.

If you do fantasy art, Game mats are a great way to stand out from the crowd and offer something no-one else has

Okay now that you have your super awesome setup, you just sit back and watch people start flooding to your table buying up everything you have….right?  Unfortunately not quite.  No matter how good your work is you still need to sell it to people.  Over the course of a weekend I maybe get 3 or 4 people total that just walk up and say “I need to buy this, how much” every other person that buys from me I have to sell my work to them in some way.  I have seen several artists at shows sit back with their arms folded looking down because sales aren't as good as they hoped.  Trust me, you don't want to be that guy.

     The thing is nobody wants to approach you when you are down in the dumps, at that point it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy where you are bummed you aren't doing well and people aren't approaching you because you are bummed, thus making you even more bummed.

     The best way to break through that cycle is to put on a “Con face” be happy and engaging, say hi to as many people as you can.  No matter how bad a day/week you are having you cannot let it show while you are behind that table.  Smile, be upbeat, say “Hey hows it going” try to get them to stop and start a conversation, and then lead that conversation towards you and your work.  (in my opinion standing behind a table not talking to anyone for 8 hours is boring, if I am not making any money I mine as well have fun talking to people) No matter how bad the day is going you CANNOT let people know, you gotta be happy and engaging the entire time.  There is plenty of time to vent at the bar after the show talking with your neighbors and fellow artists.

     The selling thing is really what is going to make or break your experience at a show.  No matter how nice your display is, no matter how good your work is, if you do not have the confidence in yourself and your work to tell people they should buy this, conventions will be a struggle.

     That being said, my final bit of advice for first time con goers is to just have fun.  Chasing sales throughout a weekend is a stressful endeavor, dont get bummed if you only make back the table cost.  There are a lot of up front costs associated with exhibiting at shows, so if you dont earn a profit at your first show, do not despair and give up (I did not make back the costs of my first show, these things take time to build up).  Have fun, work on your sales pitch, talk to your booth neighbors and ask them lots of questions, and scope out ideas for a better/improved booth setup.  Use the show as a learning experience to apply to future shows and you will have a good time, and the knowledge of this show will make the next one even better.

Finally, if you are looking for more information and knowledge about conventions and selling and running a booth I highly recommend checking out 1 fantastic week.  These guys host a weekly webshow going over not only conventions but how to earn a living as an artist (useful topic dont you say), I learned a lot about selling at conventions and running my business from them and I cannot recommend them enough.

[milliondollarintent]

A MILLION DOLLAR INTENT

One million dollars is a great benchmark for an aspiring entrepreneur to work forward to, it is generally speaking an achievable goal, considering selling 1000 USD worth of a product to 1000 customers. The moment you put a plan and numbers on paper the illusive sum is no longer that illusive.

And well, it is one of my aspiring benchmarks as well. I am not yet there and I am not yet anywhere near, but since its a new year and new decade of 2020 I came up with an idea to document my journey to catching this unicorn.

I would consider myself as a second generation since I do not really start from a pure zero, but if we keep in mind the generation of business, then I would say I am rather a first generation actually. I am coming from Eastern Europe, which implies that I am not coming from an wealthy background, i consider myself as a crazy workaholic hardworking middle class.

My father and his family are coming from a rural village, while my mother is coming from provincial port city. I have a good international education and speak fluently 4 language. My parents did not really manage to create a sustainable business, but they invested heavily in showing the wider world to their children, hence the ambition to overachieve and give back.

I hope these occasional thoughts will be giving a good solid self motivation practice, but also opens up a dialogue for what is done well, what is done wrong, and where the things can be improved. Therefore any comments are much appreciated.

Money is just a tool and the millions can materialise in different ways and forms, so i have decided to save those aspiring millions in variety of goals and purposes, and i will explain each and one of them one by one, but it is an initial list for consideration:

Million in charity and donations

Million in real estate

Million in liquid cash

Million in stock investment portfolio

Million in business revenues

Million in merchandise stock

Million in profit

Million in art collection

Million in gold bars

Million in wine bottles

Million in cars

Million in boats

Million in real estate

I currently own some real estate, four locations to be precise, their evaluation is not overly high due to their eastern european locations, and we will discuss deeper their value and a future potential in a more detailed blogpost. But none the less they are very unique locations with some good history. It is a solid foundation already, and I hope to continue growing real estate portfolio in a near future, and we will discuss more some elaborated ideas and opinions on how to approach this topic.

Million in liquid cash

Cash is the king. I visited Singapore few times a while ago and was very surprised to learn more about this incredible country, most in particular that every second person there is an asset millionaire and every third person is a liquid millionaire. Sounds too good to be true, but liquid million cash is amazing feeling, a freedom to purchase all necessary or excessive whenever there is an opportunity is an incredible privilege, so we will definitely aim high here. A definite goal.

Million in stock investment portfolio

It is definitely a cool thing to be a part of an international company, grow with it together, and be the part of international markets, diversify your money and put some savings to a good use, already and 2019 we were reading about some serious recession and bubble burst. The beginning of 2020 definitely proves it to be the case, and it seams like a lot of discounted stocks will be out there towards the summer, I think the markets will continue to slow down, there for it is a perfect time to enter into some new niches for the long term investment approach. Let’s try to discuss the bulls and the bears here.

Million in business revenues

I am working on a manufacturing business project, I wont go into the details of my primary full time job and business, but shortly I love manufacturing, I love production. I consider production, real estate and cashflow the pillars of success, therefore everything starts with some sort of production from zero to one. I started and failed and started again in manufacturing many times, and i do feel alive when a final product appears and packed. It feels incredibly good, i am definitely pursuing this goal and my full time commitment in developing my business, which implies selling those manufactured goods also, hence the ambition to grow business to at least a million in annual revenue.

Million in merchandise stock

I am sometimes confused in this aspect of business as some sources and partners tell me not to overstock as this is a mistake, other sources tell me stock is good, because stock is money, and running out of stock is a headache to efficiently fill in the shelves not to loose on demand. My product is essentially evergreen, without an expiry date, so as long as warehousing storage is not an issue I would not mind stocking up my merchandise as a manufacturing/sales buffer. This is true for the scale and for the depth and diversified product line, so I would definitely stock up. Yes it is a money on the shelves, but when customers come, there is something to show 1000USD price tag x 1000 customers and we achieved the ultimate goal, remember that.

Million in profit

As an aspiring creative businessman I would definitely enjoy coming up with a bestseller, and optimising my business structure in the way that it becomes profitable and brings growth and prosperity to my endeavours so that is definitely are good point to focus on. Obviously all my expansion plans and reinvesting strategies into the business will lower the annual profits, but as long as there are revenues and if the stars shine on me, that is definitely a good thing to achieve once in a while.

Million in art collection

Our brain is most active while trying to make sense looking at a sublime contemporary abstract art work. I am personally a big fan of art and an avid art galleries and museums visitor, as well as I make it a habit to travel to Venice every 2 years for the Venice Biennale to grow culturally. It stimulates, inspires, teaches, opens new horizons, raises levels of taste and sophistication. Beware of artists, they are friendly with all layers of society. They think abstractly, they foresee events and future, they predict avant-garde trends. Most of my friends are artists, designers, musicians as well as art gallery managers. So having a solid blue chip art collection to decorate the walls in your house, your office and your environment, to surround yourself with beauty, as well as to retain some value for the future generations is an incredible endeavour. And I will definitely touch more of this topic of collecting art.

Million in gold bars

Another long term investment for the future generations that showcases wealth and stability is a pure gold. Few years back the good old Switzerland with its old school banks behind closed doors decided to start bullishly expand there real solid physical gold portfolio to avoid and preview any world order changes within the next 10 years. I am monitoring this trend very closely and was right, I wanted to by my first 100 g gold bar 3-4 years back and it was at a price of around 3500 USD, today in early 2020 we see a price of 5000 USD which is a 40+% growth in only few years, and this active price spike started happening after the news I learned of that behind the closed doors swiss agreements. And now when we see recession signs. Everything matches out. But as my good banker friend told me to safely keep 5% of my net worth in gold is a good idea, so I will definitely research this topic closely this year, but unfortunately I missed those more affordable prices when i wanted to jump on the trend few years back.

Million in wine bottles

Coming from a family of farmers and having an incredible respect towards agricultural lands, I have a personal thing with grapes and wines. I don't drink beer, but a good bottle of wine is always a good treat. Wine making and wine business is another big hobby of mine which I treat semi professionally and occasionally happen to visit international wines and spirits fairs and have a great deal of experience talking to people and visiting wine caves and cellars, and eventually a mans dream is to retire with a wine chateau. There are many successful people who dedicate themselves to land and wine as their secondary careers, and a good wine collection is a homes cellars never hurt anybody, plus a tiny glass a day of quality red wine and its resveratrol features is perfect elixir for your health.

Million in cars

To be honest with you, I am not the biggest fan of cars, i do understand the efficiency and the comfort they bring, but at the same time it is a tangible asset that loses its value very quickly, so unless it is a unique collection of super cars or rare automotive history collectible cars for me don't really make much sense. I love jaguars just because they have some British Lords aesthetic and elements of class to it, all the rest of cars seem pretty boring and banal to me. A fleet of cars might make sense for logistics at some point, but I see cars as a transportation tool, nothing more nothing less, same as I consider my shoes, they have to be nice, but they are just shoes. I would also consider different types of cars from daily usage, to family comfort, to a quality night out with my woman. But none the less cars have cultural and social significance also, so lets try to figure out something around them too.

Million in boats

I have fascination with the sea. My grandfather on my mothers side was a sailor and i have a thing with boats. On top of it all, it is an important point in my life to live in a close proximity to the sea in a nearby future. Evidently it would imply using boats on a frequent basis, perhaps retire on a boat and cruise the world. I am much more the fan of boats than cars for that matter, so for me it is a serious criteria. Heavy diesel engine yachts are very costly in environmental and financial sense, sail yachts however are a different story with its most romantic adventurous touch. I am definitely looking into a catamaran for its convenience and family friendly features. I will be touching the topic of boats, it is less of an investment i would say, but is an ultimate result of achieving the set goals and success in all endeavours.

Million in charity and donations

When success hits, it is important to give back to community and people around, or supporting a cause that is close to ones heart, so I would definitely consider giving away to charities, and non profit foundations to improve aspects of life around me. This particular blog potential revenues will entirely go for charity and non profit donations, and I will gladly share causes and ideas and transparently declare what went where and why. I have some ideas of productive philanthropy and I would gladly discuss it also, as I have some ideas, and would want to know your opinions. But it is definitely important to raise awareness and give support, I will try to document my journey here also.

Conclusion

Here we are, that makes it slightly “more” than just a one million dollar intent, sounds much more unrealistic and crazy already, but one brings the other, so it is good enough ambition and an introduction post. I will try to explore my monetary net worth much deeper and more precisely with you here. Try to give some personal finance advice and well as receive some in comments. We all know that we are worth much more than a piece of paper, but it is still important to learn how to respect money and treat it properly with consideration and gain our financial independence. I would love to build a community of entrepreneur savvy enthusiasts around this blog, so if you are interested in above topics, then I invite you to join a million dollar intent club.

Yours truly

MDI

[lizardat88mph]

October Country: Goal Breakdown

So here I thought I’d break down more clearly my high-achieving goals for October, as in order for them to be achievable, they need to be broken down into major parts, and then further down into tiny, almost-daily habits and tasks. 

So my goals for school/ career: 

1. To mold my education into what I need it to be

-alter my relationship with the people surrounding my education, and confronting my own sense of authority

     [Communicate with those who have disrespected me immediately, write down my own standards and goals and stick to that vision, set a priority list, assert my own expectations in what I need from people as a working adult, understand and be respectful of others faults but don’t budge on my standards, be okay to take self care and time away if needed]

-to take learning seriously and go above and beyond in what I allow myself to learn and study 

     [create that ‘goals’ scholarly schedule again and stick with it; get interested in documentaries, books, articles, TED talks, whatever will inspire you to learn about the world, the environment and culture; learn history; watch more movies and read more books you are interested in; go full deep overhead in novel research every single day and don’t be afraid to take time out of ‘homework’ schedule to do so]

-to take initiative in what is important to me to focus on, and what can be put lower down in the priority list 

     [create your own education and what is important this month, not what others want you to think is important, only you will know; remember that this is your education and you may choose to put your own things above their things; be congruent with your standards and really think them through, don’t just get pissy about others bossing you around, set your standards effectively and COMMUNICATE them]

-create distinct separations between my life life, and my school life, meaning doing things ‘other’ than school during my weeks

     [schedule other things other than school like gym time, events, friends, coffee dates and beers, mini trips, movie nights, potlucks, pj day, backwards day where you watch tv shows all morning, going to a class, etc; separate large chunks of time effectively and make proper use out of entire days off, AKA don’t just work for three hours on one thing and that’s it]

-create a proper routine/ schedule/ system around getting stuff done effectively 

     [every single week and every single day you should be planning out effectively, October is way too busy to be just ‘winging it’. When we don’t plan, we can waste so much possibly effective time (such as a break at school or a night off) which in turn will take time away from your own stuff, hanging out with friends, or having an actual night off completely. It will also in turn make you more stressed because you will find you are ‘always’ working, but it is because there is so much time you will waste not working productively or effectively and instead moving at a snails pace]

2. To construct a full and proper rough draft of my novel 

-make a proper outline/ storyboard

     [that means immediately. And go analog]

-actively exchange my novel with professors/ editors and peers

     [that means immediately. Get that story together, and don’t be afraid of being perfect, that ego needs to be let go if you are to be a real author]

-put entire novel in proper cohesive document, in order, with all missing and needing changes pieces

     [outline needs to get done, and re-envision--that means you will have to put this ahead of class readings and assignments]

-make a standard daily goal to complete

     [plan ahead. you will need your priority list as well because what will happen is that all the required shit for school like readings and assignments will budge themselves forcefully to the front, this is because you are the one setting your novel schedule and OTHERS are setting the assignments schedule. You need to be authoritative in your OWN schedule so that it levels up in importance]

-have a re-sit down/ brainstorm session to revisit entire vision

     [this is a good reason to take advantage of night work. This is also a good reason as to why you need a ‘home base’ where your work is laid out. This needs to be a HUGE priority, WAY above class readings]

3. To become an inspirational storyteller/ artist

-create my own standard routine/ process and not let anyone tell me how to manage myself

     [ASAP you need to create that priority list, ask yourself: what is important to me right now? What am I working towards? What is my own vision and my own assignment list. Everyone else’s assignments should come after. Remember this. Your English class is your elective, that’s all!]

-create a home space where I actively work 

     [home bases are important so that you are not heavily relying on just the coffee shop, it also helps because at home you can actively spread out your process and keep returning to it, without cleaning it up]

-amp up my presence on social media/ wattpad/ tumblr/ etc. to become more involved

     [if audience is important to you, then get back to your roots when you used to write fan fiction and be actively involved in that community, involve real people, share your knowledge and inspiration and writing in REAL time in order to disconnect from the university and connect with the actual world out there]

-to become more involved in the real world of storytelling, AKA meeting real authors, going to events, and researching about careers

     [Like before, set your own importances, not what others set out for you. Get active in the world, that is how connections are made and don’t be afraid to step away from the university, you don’t work there 24 hours a day every day, they do not hold a domineering leash over you]

-I need to hold my vision in my arms and learn to hold my own authority

     [really ground in that vision. Pretend you are a famous film director in charge of this whole team of film artists. What is your vision? It is important that you keep that vision in near sight at all times, or else the movie gets lost to the hustle and bustle of everyday life, the many MANY requirements and wishes of others around you and their influences, and with that you are in danger of producing an art piece pleasing the minds of many, instead of sticking to the original vision you held inside your heart as to why this was important to you. REMEMBER, YOU ARE THE DIRECTOR, you lead] 

And my ‘life’ goals: 

1. To become fit

-go on more walks/ hikes and get out into nature

-find a fun fitness activity to do in subset during the week of school 

-find a particular training activity that I like, and do it

-get into a yoga routine for the things I need aid in: stress, meditation, flexibility, stretching, and breathing

-I need to plan before each week and stick to those plans

2. To eat and fuel myself properly

-plan my weekly meals and meal prep to the best I can, or purchase healthy meals out if necessary 

-plan and equip myself with better snacks throughout the day 

-switch off having so much coffee (limit 2) and switch with tea or mushroom coffee

-make sure I am setting out a day to buy proper groceries

-have fun and try autumn cooking and baking!

3. To experience more out of my free time

-subset particular times for watching youtube videos, watching a tv show, social media 

-take advantage of the fact that it is AUTUMN, aka, your favourite month. This is the month of spookiness, autumn leaves, sweater weather, Halloween, horror and all things festive and romantic. Take advantage of it before it disappears. 

-take advantage of night time work/ play and ‘wasted’ time during the day 

-implement more ‘reading’ times 

-section out ‘large’ days more effectively

Anyways, that’s all I’ve got. It’s intensive, yes, but I am trying to go after substantial change, but in little daily changes

Daily, what to focus on: 

-make use of night time work/ play, don’t waste it

-plan out ahead of time (including work, play, food, fitness and clothes)

-make time for people and things not concerning school

-follow your own authority and your own path, be strong enough to not subside on your standards

-enjoy learning and growth, learn about everything

-take full advantage of autumn in everyway you can, say YES

-explore your field in all avenues

-go full steam ahead on your project, no turning back now, trust yourself and your vision

-SHOW people, it's time

-learn to find the little joys all around you, share them with friends :)

-learn to work for the audience, learn to be strong for those people and inspire them 

-communicate your expectations, stop hiding

-if you need self care, do it, do not let others speak for you

-get active and moving

-give all you’ve got in class

-become a scholar this month, in whatever this means to you

-don’t focus on those who don’t value you, or invest in you

-love getting up early

-TAKE care of yourself

-remember, school is never more important than your life or your relationships

-learn to write for pure joy again, and to create

and most of all; 

*turn this month around, this is October country now, and you are the director. That means no one tells you how to run your movie, you hold the vision and the story and you get to direct those in it. Don’t keep those who don’t share in your vision and value it, learn to understand others wishes without sacrificing your authority, keep your joy and love, treat others with respect, no matter how annoying, and keep trudging on through your work. Beware the autumn people, because they are more powerful than they believe. Quiet they may be, but loud in their dreams.

~Lizard the Dreamer

[trans-girl-sonic]

Your blog is really funny. False accusations against artists being pedophiles, but also transforming everything and everything into homosexuals or trans, whether it's been canon or not. Hope to see more laughable postings in the future!

Teen Boat! Kindle Editionby Dave Roman  (Author), John Green  (Illustrator)3.8 out of 5 stars    24 customer reviews See all 3 formats and editionsKindle $9.99Read with Our Free App

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Length: 144 pages Age Level: 12 and up Grade Level: 7 and upAvailable on these devices Due to its large file size, this book may take longer to download

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Product detailsFile Size: 70468 KBPrint Length: 144 pagesPublisher: Clarion Books (May 8, 2012)Publication Date: May 8, 2012Sold by: Houghton Mifflin HarcourtLanguage: EnglishASIN: B005OC305GText-to-Speech: Not enabled  X-Ray:Not Enabled  Word Wise: Not EnabledLending: Not EnabledEnhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled  Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,065,292 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)#164 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Teen & Young Adult > Literature & Fiction > Action & Adventure > Pirates#293 in Books > Teens > Literature & Fiction > Action & Adventure > Pirates#1164 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Teen & Young Adult > Literature & Fiction > Social & Family Issues > Emotions & FeelingsWould you like to tell us about a lower price?Related media

1:58Now Playing Teen BoatMore about the authorsDiscover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.John GreenJohn Green FollowFollow on AmazonFollow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations and more coming soon.Learn More

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5.0 out of 5 starsPouring the Teen Angst on so Thick that You’re Going to Need a Bilge Pump IByFredTownWardVINE VOICEon November 6, 2015Format: Hardcover|Verified PurchaseThis prequel to Teen Boat! The Race for Boatlantis is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. The parodies are laid on thick and fast. About the only nit I can offer up is that this book is much more episodic than the second one, and some of the chapters work better than others.Comment|Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse5.0 out of 5 starsTHIS BOOK IS HILARIOUSByElaine Ritteron December 31, 2013Format: Hardcover|Verified PurchaseThis is quite possibly one of the funniest things I have ever read in my entire life. I was laughing the entire way through, cover to cover. I’m actually not sure what target audience this book was aiming at, because there are definitely some off-color sexual jokes throughout. I don’t think I would recommend this book to children, but it’s perfect for teens and adults. I loved it so much I ordered a second copy for a White Elephant Christmas gift and it was a hit!!Comment|Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse5.0 out of 5 starsTeen BoatByJoseph R. Romanon June 11, 2012Format: Hardcover|Verified PurchaseJust love Dave Romans new book. I am a fan of his work.He writes really great stuff for kids to read.Hes a kid at heart,and he knows what kids like to read.Comment| 2 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse5.0 out of 5 starsFive StarsByAmazon Customeron June 28, 2016Format: Kindle Edition|Verified PurchaseAmazing book for speech and debate.Comment|Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse4.0 out of 5 starsSaturday morning cartoon spoofByLivianiaVINE VOICEon June 5, 2012Format: Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product( What’s this? )Collaborators Dave Roman and John Green originally published the TEEN BOAT! mini-comic through their own Cryptic Press. You can still visit the old websites associated with that version of the comic. TEEN BOAT! won an Ignatz Award and now it is available in a full color version with extra comics and other bonus material.

The art of TEEN BOAT! is clean with easy-to-distinguish and consistent character designs. The girls aren’t overly sexified either. They look like teen girls and their designs are stylized the same as the guys. The art doesn’t stand out from the crowd, but it is definitely not hideous. And believe me, you’d be surprised how many comics and graphic novels get published with awful art.

TEEN BOAT! first came onto my radar when I read the AV Club review praising its light parody of Saturday morning cartoons. After reading it myself, I cannot come up with a better description than that. TEEN BOAT! is an updated, self-aware Saturday morning cartoon that invites the reader to laugh at the ridiculous premise and plots and enjoy the story anyway.

The protagonist of TEEN BOAT! is actually named TEEN BOAT! He’s a high school student who can turn into a boat at will, but must turn into a boat when wet. He gets in and out of trouble, dates an Italian gondola, and runs for class president. Like most teen guys, he’s pretty self-absorbed. One of the running gags is how he doesn’t notice that his best friend is both into him and has shape-changing abilities of her own.

Older teens will probably find TEEN BOAT! too short and silly. But hey, I’m an adult and thought it was cute. TEEN BOAT! is probably best for tweens, especially ones that still enjoy the cheesiness of Saturday morning cartoons. There is some underage drinking and gambling, but it the protagonist does not partake and the behavior is punished.Read moreComment| 4 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse3.0 out of 5 starsNO WAY, JOSE!ByFrequent BuyerTOP 500 REVIEWERon June 2, 2012Format: Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product( What’s this? )Beware!! This gal’s got her Mom-Review Hat On…

I actually requested this book to see what the team of Roman and Green were up to; and with a mind to finding out whether this might be the beginning of a series I could introduce to my 10 year-old son…

…BUT NO WAY, JOSE. I might let a ’d-mn’ slide but it’s not cool with this helicopter mom to have marijuana, drinking and smoking (cigarettes this time) mentioned like it’s no big deal. [Not to mention that ‘getting to second base’ would have to be explained.] Sooo, me in my-mom-hat will not be suggesting this book for Tweens.

Which leaves the question of who it would be good for. Here’s my opinion:

No - for adults. There was some funny stuff here, but not enough to make it worth the effort.

No - for Tweens. At least if you’re a mom like me. If your child is already rolling their own, they might enjoy it.

Yes - for guys 13-16 years, if they feel like a fun read that’s based on goofy humor.

Yes - possibly for girls 13 - 15 years if they like non-violent graphic novels. Romance is the focal point of the stories. And I particularly like the sections that dealt with where Teen Boat (that’s his name) fell in love with a gondola named Risatina.

Maybe - for guys older than 16, but honestly all of the things I thought were inappropriate for younger kids, is going to be too bland for mosts tastes at this age. I mean, no super cool artwork, and no ultra violence or women with extravagant 'attributes’...I’m divided on this one and not prepared to give it a definitive thumbs-down because there might be a guy out there that will be motivated to pick up more books if he starts on this one. However, that said TEEN BOAT is just got the wrong synergy going. On the one hand it’s childish but has inappropriate things for children, and one the other hand it’s not sophisticated enough for most Young Adults, which leaves it possibly right for that thin band in between: 13-15 year olds.

Pam T~putting away her MOM-hatRead more4 comments| 5 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuseSee all verified purchase reviews (newest first)Write a customer review

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3.0 out of 5 starsShallow and not-quite-funnyStock characters and situations pulled from Judy Blume and John Hughes. Heavy-handed metaphors for teen angst. It’s all part of the joke, right?Read morePublished 1 year ago by Irene Ringworm5.0 out of 5 starsA BOAT load of fun!!!!A great success! My Son LOVES It!!! He couldn’t put it down until he was done!! A MOST AWESOME BOOK…my sons says “I just like it a real lot!!”Published 1 year ago by I am a Children’s Librarian5.0 out of 5 starsIt’s very simpleTEEN! BOAT!! What more do you need? All the angst of being a teen … all the thrill of being a boat!Published on October 5, 2014 by Jennifer5.0 out of 5 starsWacky, silly funNot every book comes with a fool-proof litmus test, but this one certainly does. Just read the tag-line on the cover:

The angst of being a teen!Read morePublished on September 3, 2012 by Andrew C Wheeler4.0 out of 5 starsJoin the Adventure!This book immediately jumped out at me as I began reading because of the wonderful illustrations and vibrant colors, and the story didn’t disappoint.Read morePublished on July 21, 2012 by A. Lynn4.0 out of 5 starsFun parodyTeenBoat! is a one-trick pony. Whether or not you’re entertained will depend entirely on how much you like that trick.Read morePublished on July 18, 2012 by A. Reid5.0 out of 5 starsIf I’m any judge at all as to what teens will laugh at…This graphic short story collection is ridiculous, silly, and hilarious. It pokes fun at the genre, at the way teens are often portrayed, and yet, from my understanding of…Read morePublished on June 20, 2012 by Neal Reynolds2.0 out of 5 starsConcept Fail.Some things that are completely absurd can also be funny. This is not one of those cases.

The entire premise is ridiculous and simply doesn’t work.Read morePublished on June 13, 2012 by Hedera Femme1.0 out of 5 starsNot RecommendedI thought I was getting a fun, innocent little book. But no, it is not. The book is boring, plus there is profanity and mention of unmentionable things such as smoking, etc.Read morePublished on June 6, 2012 by AndreaSearch Customer Reviews

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[thestickchick]

So you want your kid to try marital arts, but you don't have any clue of how to begin.

Well, my friend, your pal the Stick Chick is here to help you out.  Not only am I martial artist myself, but I run a martial arts program as an instructor as well as having two martial arts kids myself.

This post is more of a set of quick bullet points on choosing a martial arts school for your child. I wrote about this topic before, in A Parent's Guide to the Martial Arts, and please do read that one as it's a longer post and I go into a lot more detail.

So here's a few tips:

PROXIMITY, SCHEDULE AND PRICE

Honestly, it's most practical to choose a school close to your home.  With busy schedules and tight budgets, it's a practical and important consideration.  I can tell you from experience the most common reason I've seen parents drop out of our school is conflict with schedules and the difficulty, sometimes, of getting their kid to class around other activities.

Don't forget to include other sports or activities your child is interested in (such as baseball season or theater or band) in your consideration.  It is common for kids in sports and the martial arts to have to take a break during a season for a sport.  Understand that if you have to take that time off, it will delay you kid's progress in the martial arts (not a bad thing, necessarily, it's just a fact).  It may be possible to arrange training on a different schedule with the school (usually via private lessons), so don't forget to ask about that if you know a conflict will arise.

Most martial arts schools near you will have their class schedule posted online or you can get a handout at the school itself.

As for price... the most expensive school in your area is not necessarily the right one for your child.  The cheapest one is not always the best deal.  Decide what is "average" in your area (it can vary WIDELY from place to place) and when discussing the price, makes sure all the fees are disclosed up front.  Some common fees include testing and "belt" fees, uniform fees, and equipment fees.  Know what is optional and what is required to be purchased for study.

This is... bad.

Most martial arts schools have a trial period.  It's not always obvious if a school is a poor fit until you've been in it for a few weeks, so use that trial period well.

As for contracts - some schools use them, some don't.  I prefer shorter contracts, and beware any school that promises if you sign a long-term contact (several years) right now, they'll guarantee your kid will reach black belt in a given period of time. That's shady. Unless you live in a very small town or in a very rural place, there is more than one martial arts school around, and comparison shop them ALL so you get an idea of what's available in your area.  Don't just sign up with the first school you visit.

BE SURE WHY YOU WANT YOU CHILD IN THE MARTIAL ARTS

The benefits of the martial arts for kids are varied.  Some of the benefits include learning personal discipline, getting good exercise, working on good hand/eye coordination (which carries over to other sports), improving social skills, building positive self-esteem, learning moral and ethical values, and bully prevention.

Not every school covers all of those topics, so it's important to decide what is important to you so you know what to ask about and look for in a school.  This is entirely subjective, and ignore what people say you should want for your child.  You know your kid.

You can determine if the school meets your needs by asking outright, by talking to other parents at the school, and by observing classes.

If the martial arts school isn't willing to give you references for other parents or allow you to observe classes, that's a huge red flag and I would cross that school off of my consideration list.

By the way, kids really can't learn the skills asked of them until they are about six years old, on average (some kids can learn younger, and some aren't ready until older - that's why I said "average").  Martial arts classes for kids as young as three exist, but think of them more like martial arts movement classes, versus actual "martial arts" classes.

Little kids can't focus very long, so usually those classes aimed at "Little Dragons", the three-to-five year old set, are about 1/2 hour long.  For older kids who are still pretty young (six-nine or so), class times are usually 45 minutes to an hour.

THE STYLE DOESN'T MATTER THAT MUCH

No, really, it doesn't, not for kids.  Every martial artist will insist that the style he studies is the BEST EVER and all of the rest are just a waste of time and money.  Unless those people are studying Arnis, well, they're completely wrong.

For a kid, the style and its "effectiveness on the street" isn't the most important consideration.  For a kid, being a combat effective street badass isn't really what you're looking for (and if you are... well... good luck with that).

No matter the style, it's easy to transition at an older age (if the kid continues to study - many don't) to the styles that are more self-defense and fighting oriented.

So don't overthink the style too much or worry about whether or not it's kung fu or jiu jitsu or karate.  Do the kids doing the style on the mat look like they're working hard and having fun?  Awesome, that's what's important for a child.

I truly believe that martial arts study is good for almost every child on earth.  Heck, while your kid is trying it out, why don't you try it too? All of the benefits that are there for kids are there for parents, and many schools have a family class where kids and parents can study together.

I hope this helps, and I invite experienced martial artists and instructors to chime in on this post and include their tips.

Have fun on the mats!

[luckylq63-blog]

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[a-h-arts]

Ebook version doesn't provide Digital Product Key As I have just started my course, I haven't yet had chance to really pursue this edition to make a fair judgment call on the overall quality or coverage of the course topic. HOWEVER, I do issue a caveat. If you are purchasing or renting (in my case) the Ebook version; beware it DOES NOT provide a Digital Product Key so you can use the book in Hybrid courses utilizing online resources (i.e. InQuizitive) There is no mention of this in product details - otherwise I would have gone for a new print or ebook from the publisher directly and gotten the key with the book. So if you are planning to use the ebook version and will require access to online resources, for an online or hybrid course you may want to look elsewhere. Go to Amazon

Introducing Art This book is used as a text book for a course for a course I am taking at George Mason University, Introduction to the Visual Arts. As a text book, it does a good job of helping me review what the professor has presented in class. It has wonderful photographs of important works of art, and it has good descriptions of how each piece of art was created. As I write this review, we are only half way through the course and the book, but I have found one error. This concerns printmaking and the way drypoint is created, hardly a major catastrophe, but it does make me wonder if there are other minor errors about technical process. Go to Amazon

Understanding Arts Textbook I was required to have this book for an understanding visual arts course. Understanding that because this book deals with art explains why this book is so expensive, yet comprehensive. It's comprehensive because as well as defining art vocabulary it gives more of a background to art history and the different forms of art in various cultures worldwide. This textbook definitely hurt my bank account, but after this class is over I'm sending it right back to Amazon for store credit. They make is easy to understand art through examples and such. I am glad that I was assigned to such a comprehensive textbook but now I have to memorize all the artists and titles of art for my exam. This book is great for college students, both students who are interested in art and those who are required to take a course to understand the arts. Go to Amazon

interesting and fun This was a required textbook for my art class. It is easy to read and really explains the different concepts of art. I Mary half way thru bit and have actually learned a lot. My daughter enjoys looking thru it and seeing what mommy is learning as well.... I will be keeping this one and not selling it back at the end of the semester. Go to Amazon

Emphasis on multiple applications of Art; that, it makes you look at things differently. I got this book like new, and it's great for my class. It covers not only different art types from all over the world but walks through the how and why art is used. I don't care much about art, but this book covers in detail such a wide variety of art's applications, for example industrial, in aesthetics, spiritual, prehistoric, historic, communication, graphic design, and multiple medias, and more it makes you look at things differently. Go to Amazon

Excellent textbook Learned a lot about art. Required textbook for art appreciation. Goes into details about styles, materials, and history. I really enjoyed learning more in depth about featured pieces of work and their artists. Go to Amazon

I got this book for school and it looks like the real book but there’s typos all through out ... I got this book for school and it looks like the real book but there’s typos all through out it and it is missing like have the letters in certain words. Also at the end of the book it Has print that is printed over again so you can’t read it. Now I have to buy another book and my class has already started. ☹️ Go to Amazon

If this book is REQUIRED for an art history class It has many full-color pictures, great descriptions and analyses of them. Biographical information about the artists is given, as well as brief descriptions of the world views during the time-eras that the works studied were created. The pictures are beautiful, and it could almost be a coffee table book if you're poor, like me! The price on Amazon is far cheaper than the bookstore, and this is new vs used too. Go to Amazon

A lot of the pages are separated(ing) from the spine. I keep 2 rubber bands around the book... Great book Better than I thought Falls apart Great book that is easy to understand I did purchase the textbook but I received all of ... Every page was printed well but they seem to tear easily. Not delivered in great condition Five Stars Five Stars

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Not All Psychics Are Frauds by JasperDeWitt

Last year, I went to see a psychic for the first and last time. It might have been the worst way to spend my money I’ve ever encountered.

Now, I know exactly what you’re thinking. “Psychics are frauds! They just tell you what you want to hear and then bleed you for money! What did you expect?” You probably think I got some bullshit cold reading disguised as the whisperings of fate, only to be told that my aura was irrevocably unclean and that for just one small payment of $1000, it could be completely cured. After all, that’s what con artists do, right?

Well, that’s just the thing. This wasn’t a waste of money because the psychic was a fraud. This was a waste of money because…well, just listen and you’ll understand.

The whole thing started when I was walking back from the subway after work. Due to a rather unpleasant financial necessity, my apartment building is about two miles’ walk from that station, and I don’t have a car, so walking home takes between 40 minutes and an hour most of the time. To me, this is usually an annoyance because it takes away time that I could be curled up in my apartment with a good book and a glass of wine, but on the bright side, my neighborhood is actually very pretty and quaint, so at least the walk is nice to look at. All the same, normally, I don’t pay much attention to shops or restaurants on the way. They just sort of blend into the scenery.

But that day was…different. Because that day, I noticed the rundown old psychic shop with a cheap neon light shaped like an eye over its door for maybe the first time ever, and I’m sorry to say, I decided to go in. What’s doubly infuriating is that I’m really not sure why I noticed the place at all, let alone entered it. Maybe it was because it had been an unusually slow day at work, so my mind didn’t have as much to be preoccupied about, or maybe it was because the weather was so nice. Or, more likely, it was just the fact that the shop’s owner had decided to put out a big fat sign advertising 50 percent off Palm and Tarot readings. Whatever the reason, I made one of the worst decisions of my life and stepped over the threshold.

The shop’s bell dinged in a dull, tuneless way as soon as I was inside, and even though the shop was up a flight of stairs, the rank smell of incense mixed with old fast food was still strong enough to hit my nose. I very nearly turned around and walked out right then. However, as I was in the act of leaving, a squat, sour looking, middle-aged woman of indecipherable ethnicity came waddling down the raggedy carpeted stairs. As soon as she saw me, her face split into a poor attempt at a welcoming smile whose insincerity was only compounded by the multiple gold teeth that dotted it.

“Hello, sweetie!” she cooed in a faux-soothing voice that made my eyes nearly roll out of my skull. “Can I help you?”

“Um…” I began as I mentally winced from how awkward this whole thing was. “Um, I saw the sign outside…?”

“Oh, yes!” said the woman, bustling over to me and taking me by the hand. “And what sort of reading were you looking for today? Palm is $10 and Tarot is $25.”

“Oh, I don’t think…um…that is…thank you, but I’d better go.”

“Nonsense!” she said, seizing my hand in a surprisingly strong grip. “Something in the energies brought you into my shop today. I can feel it. I’ll tell you what, dear, why don’t I just give you both readings for a round $30? I don’t do that for just anyone, but you seem like someone really special.”

It was one of the more hamfisted sales pitches I’d ever encountered. But, I’ll admit, I’ve always been a sucker for new experiences, and shelling out $30 just meant I’d have to skip one drunken happy hour that week. So I said yes. The woman beamed, or rather, her mouth split wider, since I’m not sure her face was really built for the whole “smiling” thing.

“Excellent, come on up with me!” she said cheerily.

And with that, I found myself being hurried up the stairs into the foul-smelling shop. However, I didn’t get much of a chance to look at the dust collecting manuals on Reiki Healing, or the giant charts showing different Chakras, or the multiple plastic vats of different colored crystals contained therein because the woman had hastily shepherded me into a side room where the smell of incense was so overpowering that it completely drowned out everything else. There, I was unceremoniously dumped into a moth-eaten floral armchair next to a small, rickety wooden table. The woman took a seat across from me and reached out her hand.

“Now, first of all, what is your name?” she asked.

“Emily.”

“Hello Emily, my name is Josie,” she said. “Now, may I see your palm?”

Admittedly, I have no room for comparison, but I’m pretty sure that what followed was substandard even for hoax palm readings. A fortune cookie would have been more informative about the future, and a self-help book written by a homeless person probably would’ve offered more useful advice. But the sheer uselessness of the information gleaned from the reading isn’t the only reason I pass over it. I pass over it because the really relevant stuff only happened when Josie pulled out her worn Tarot deck.

If the palm reading had been laughably un-specific, then the Tarot reading was bewilderingly specific, albeit mostly in unverifiable ways. For instance, I was told to watch for a man five years my senior whose name began with M, because he could very well end up as my soulmate. Further, I was told that the month of November would be a period of great turmoil for me, though in retrospect, given this happened during 2016, this was actually a pretty solid prediction for me and millions of others.

And then there was the weirdest prediction of all, which emerged when Josie flipped over the Ten of Swords midway through the reading, and from which this whole story begins. When the card appeared, Josie grabbed my arm and stared deeply into my eyes.

“Beware the man in the red brick house with the blue door on Winston Drive,” she intoned solemnly.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little creeped out by this sudden change in her aspect, not least of all because she held my gaze for a good ten seconds after she said it without blinking. Then, as if nothing had happened, she flipped up more cards and kept going with her mix of vague mumbo-jumbo and oddly specific yet still unfalsifiable predictions.

Once she’d finished with an all-too-convenient assurance that my life would have many great changes in just a short time, I expected her to try to upsell me on something else. After all, I’d heard stories from friends who’d seen psychics about how they would use things like palm and tarot readings as an excuse to try to sell you even more pointless bullshit. But, to my surprise, nothing like that happened.

Instead, Josie simply stood up and asked if I’d be paying by cash or credit card. I said credit card, and she asked if she could have my driver’s license along with the card because it was store policy to check IDs whenever credit purchases were made. I dutifully handed over both my card and my license, and after checking over both, she swiped my card, handed me my receipt and thanked me for coming in, adding that of course I should feel free to contact her and return anytime I liked. To be honest, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I found the whole thing disappointing.

Now, you’re probably wondering at this point why this awkward but otherwise completely forgettable experience is something I regret so much. I admit, it doesn’t sound like much. But just wait.

So just over two weeks after my encounter with the psychic whose powers I thought were an obvious hoax, I ended up bar hopping with some friends from work on the weekend. And as it happens, all of us lived around the same suburb so, logically, we started there. Given how much we drank, and how little of that was water, it’s probably surprising that I remember the evening at all. But some things even a totally drunken mind apparently can’t forget.

Anyway, around 4 AM, we finally decided to go home. And because the last bar we’d visited was about a half hours’ walking distance from my building, I decided to just make the trek rather than spring for an Uber or a Lyft. In retrospect, this was a horrible idea, but given that I was very drunk, that my neighborhood had a reputation for safety, and that the night was at just that perfect temperature you get midway between Summer and Fall, I like to think it was at least understandable. And perhaps I’d have got out of it unscathed had it not been for the particular route that Google Maps told me to take when getting home.

You can probably guess where that route went, and you’re right. Ten minutes or so after I’d started walking, I was instructed by my phone in the chipper Uncanny Valley-esque tones of my GPS to “turn right on Winston Drive.” Now, as I’ve said, the experience with Josie the Shitty Psychic was entirely forgettable, so normally, I would’ve done just that: forgotten it. But somehow, in that oppressive pre-dawn darkness, with a cool pre-autumn breeze blowing around my ankles, the eerie remembrance of her staring into my eyes and telling me to beware the man in the red brick house with the blue door on Winston Drive came flooding back.

If I’d been even slightly soberer, that memory would’ve spooked me. But, with Vodka/Red Bull number umpteen rushing through my veins, I just thought it was hilarious. The bitch had bilked me out of $30, after all. Fuck her! Here I was on the very street she had mentioned, and dammit, I was going to prove conclusively that one of her “predictions” had been a joke. And then I’d leave a Yelp review to prove it. Ha. Ha. Ha!

God, drunk me is stupid. Nevertheless, in that moment, it seemed like the best idea ever. All I had to do was find a red brick house with a blue door and survive the encounter, and the proof would be right there, plain as ink. So, with all the purpose that a drunk white girl can muster, I turned down Winston Drive and started walking straight down it. Or at least, it felt straight. I’m pretty sure in retrospect it was sinusoidal.

Anyway, I know you’re probably thinking that even given that I’d found Winston Drive, Josie’s clue wasn’t particularly helpful. After all, red brick houses with blue doors aren’t exactly rare architectural wonders. And you’d be right, except that somehow, when it came to this section of Winston Drive, they actually were. Oh, sure, most of the houses were red brick, but I guess most of the inhabitants of Winston Drive must’ve been too aware of how the colors would clash to paint their doors blue. White? Sure. Black? You bet. Grey? No doubt. But blue was nowhere to be seen.

That is, until I got within just a few blocks of where Google Maps was telling me to turn again, and there it was: a quaint looking little two story red brick house with a door painted a color that, even in the dim light of the street lamps, I could tell was a vivid shade of blue.

By this point, the alcohol had started to wear off slightly, so I’m glad to say I didn’t waltz up and ring the doorbell like an idiot, as I’d considered doing a few blocks and about two hundred weaving steps back. And no, I didn’t avoid this out of some sense of consideration for sleeping residents, because – and this should’ve been my first sign that something was wrong – the lights in the house were still on despite its being past 4 in the morning. In fact, even still being about 80% more drunk than I should’ve been, the sight of those lights still winking out of the windows in an entire blacked out street, combined with the now much more urgent seeming warning from Josie the Bad Psychic, suddenly made me very wary. In fact, while the wind had picked up and the night had begun to turn more chilly than pleasant as a result, I’m pretty sure the shudder that ran down my spine looking up at that house had nothing to do with the weather.

I was about to turn away and walk much more quickly away from the place when a sudden flurry of movement in one of the basement windows caught my eye. It was only a shadow, but to my eyes it had looked – somehow – like someone’s hand clawing at the glass from the inside. Now both genuinely creeped out and transfixed, I stared at the house for a good ten seconds, waiting to see if something else would happen.

It only took eight for the Thing to happen. With an audible smack, the unmistakable outline of a woman’s body emerged from behind the wall at the left side of the window, and began clawing at it, trying desperately to get it to move. The light was behind the woman, and I was standing a good 20 or so feet away, but what I could make out of her features at that distance was bone chilling. The most horrible, pleading expression of raw animal terror had twisted her face, and her eyes bulged like a deer when it’s trapped in the jaws of a wolf. For just a few seconds, she kept scratching and clawing at the window, trying to tear it upwards with effort that I sensed was probably breaking her fingernails.

Then, she saw me. And when she saw me, she screamed. Not that I could hear it, but the shape her mouth made forbade any other interpretation. And as she screamed, my brain, now suddenly feeling as stone cold sober as if I’d drunk an entire tank of coffee, registered that she was mouthing a word: “Help.” But she wasn’t able to get out many repetitions of the word before a huge, muscled hand appeared from the other side of the window and yanked her backwards from it by the hair.

At that moment, I made perhaps the worst decision of that night: I screamed, too. It was reflexive, and I clapped my hands over my mouth almost immediately after it happened, but the sound was so high and keening that anyone could’ve heard it. And someone did, because a fraction of a second later, the hulking outline of a man appeared at the window. He must’ve seen me, because he vanished only a moment later. I was still frozen in shock, and didn’t quite know what to do. Until I heard the sound of that blue door scraping outward, and saw the huge, beefy hand pushing it.

That snapped me out of my stupor immediately, and I ran. I ran desperately, like a hunted animal, not pausing to look back or listen. Worse than this was that I didn’t need to look back or listen. Within just a few seconds of my sprint, I heard the ragged, angry, grunting sounds of breath being drawn behind me, and the heavy footfalls of someone unimaginably bigger, stronger, and more malevolent than I could ever be implacably catching up. I quickened my pace and ran down any street I could, but it seemed to do no good. Slowly but surely, those feet seemed to only get desperately closer.

Then, a sweaty, grasping paw of a hand swiped my hair and I panicked. I screamed like a banshee, with a volume and pitch so high that it should’ve broken every window in every house around me. And even if that sound may or may not have reached the ears of the residents of those houses in time, it reached an audience far more attentive and in the moment, far more helpful. All at once, the silence of the entire neighborhood around me was shattered by the barking and howling of dogs, and with it, the blessed sight of lights in windows popping into life like Christmas lights draped across the sky. I heard the sound of swearing from a deep, oily, rasping voice, and suddenly the oppressive sense of proximity from the creature behind me, and the dreadful pursuing footfalls stopped. But I didn’t. I ran all the way home, and as soon as I’d slammed my apartment door shut and locked the door every way I could, I called the cops and told them what had happened and what I’d seen and experienced. To their credit, despite the early hour, they responded immediately.

I suppose you can guess at what they found in the red brick house with the blue door on Winston Drive: clothes, jewelry, and the bodies of numerous unfortunate women, as well as one terribly frightened, and horribly physically abused live woman. She told them that the man in the house had kept her captive and, between raping her, had branded her every night with an iron shaped like a sword. There were three such scars on her when they found her, but on each of the corpses, there was one consistent number: ten. Just like the card Josie had seen when she warned me about the man. And no, by the way, they haven’t found him yet, which is a fact that gives me nightmares more than anything else that has ever happened to me.

Now, you might think that this experience convinced me that Josie had a genuine gift, despite her apparent inability in most areas as a psychic. But it hasn’t, and it hasn’t because of a very simple fact.

You see, the driver’s license I’d shown Josie when I paid her with my credit card, while it was still current, had been issued a few years back. In fact, it had been issued when I lived in the same city, but at a different address. I mention this only because when the police called me in for questioning and I told them about what had happened with Josie, they asked to see my driver’s license as well. At first, I didn’t understand when the officer’s face went the color of stale oatmeal upon seeing it. But then, he told me the other thing that haunts me to this day: my address was the exact one that the girl they’d rescued was living at before she was kidnapped.

They haven’t found Josie yet either. But they raided her shop the next day, and found an entire ledger of stolen credit cards, driver’s licenses and social security numbers stashed in the very backroom where she’d done my readings. All were eventually traced to the victims discovered in the red brick house with the blue door on Winston Drive.

So now you understand why, despite what seems like clear evidence of a genuine psychic, I’m never going back to see any of the breed again. Because it’s true that not all psychics are frauds. But some are something much, much worse.