#ANYWAYS ... i am here but i am in the background cleaning things and not quite scrolling yet

[sunshine304]

FTH Fanbinding: "Concord" by Deastar

@youhideastar won my FTH auction and gave me a great gift: She wanted me to bind her CQL fic "Concord" including the thorough author's commentary she'd done. I was so happy when she chose this fic because I'd loved it so much and had pondered doing a fanbinding of it at some point anyway. 😄

Now that the book has finally arrived (spending two days in the air even, I guess, at least when one looks at the tracking info 😆), I can show it off here!

I tried some new stuff on this bind and also some things that I'd only done once before and that definitely need some, uh, perfecting. 😅 But overall, I'm very pleased with how this book turned out, as it's pretty close to what I'd imagined when I started it.

The fic is set in Cloud Recesses and Dea and I agreed that the colour blue should be prominent in the design, as it not only fits the setting, but also is of significance in the story itself. As the rules and traditions of the Lan sect also are quite important, I wanted a very clean, simple style for the case, a bit reminiscent of traditional Chinese bindings.

I did the title as a cut-out and used Japanese transparent paper for some extra flavour. The paper shows up inside the book as well early on and I liked the recurring motive of it. I'm also really pleased how well the hot foil came out on it! I was a bit scared that it might rip or something, but it's quite sturdy, after all.

I thought about doing a faux stab binding with red thread to get even more of a traditional feel, but then decided against it as I'd wanted to use two different blue book cloths and I felt that it might get too busy. Instead, I used the red ribbon as a nod to Wei Wuxian.

The little cloud illustration is used several times in the typeset and I like how it comes out in the title. I didn't even mess up this title, yay! (Mine's got a few tiny blotches but uh well, better mine than Dea's!)

I painted the edges with metallic watercolours - the second time I tried painting edges, but this time with several colours and trying to do a little illustration as well. Big thanks to @zhalfirin who quickly answered my question about how to get the paint to actually stick. 😆 I'd read several posts about how awesome water colours are for foreedge painting, but none mentioned that this kind of paint just rubs off again (I am no artist and have no knowledge of different kinds of paint). Zhalfirin told me to mix in glue and also wax the edges afterwards, which I both did and I think it's fine now. At least my fingers didn't turn blue. 😅

I really love how the shading came out on the head/tail; it could've been better on the foreedge and it looked great while the paint was still wet. Steep learning curve, this thing. I also died trying to sand the edges and I didn't get them completely smooth, but at least smooth enough to work with. That also needs some more work, I guess.

First time I sewed endbands with four different colours! I think they came out quite well! I also forgot the second row of dark blue on Dea's book and had to unravel half the endband again when I noticed at the very end... 🤦‍♀️

Nice marbled endpapers. For the title page spread, I used part a very famous Chinese painting, as it not only reminds me of the Gusu mountains but also, again, is very traditional. I played around with the colours to give the picture a bit of a bluer tinge.

The typeset itself was very straight-forward. There's the fic without commentary, and then the second part with it. I used a grey background for the comment parts to make it stand out from the actual story.

I had lots of printer issues with this fic (my copy actually had even more issues because the printer treated every page as an image for unknown reasons and therefore it not only took forever, it's also a tiny bit blurry. Hmpf.) and the greys tended to have a bit of a blue tinge, which was not my intention. But at least it works with the overall theme, I guess! 😅

I also did an extensive Appendix with all the meta links mentioned in the commentary as well as cut scenes and a little "praise for the author" section.

Last but not least, I decided to try making a slipcase for the first time! DAS_Bookbinding on youtube has good tutorials on that and I used one of them. It worked well on the first try. The second try, I used sturdier cardboard and should've added a few millimetres to the width, because the book didn't fit - the ribbon got stuck and I feared that it might get damaged. So I had to redo the case and then it was perfect.

I used wallpaper as cover material. 😄 The one you see on the outside? That's my living room wallpaper, a light blue with a lovely pattern and soft shimmer to it. My camera unfortunately is refusing to get the colour right.🤷‍♂️

The assembling process went well, for the most part. I'd forgotten to shorten the endpapers a bit which I only realised after I'd started casing in my copy. I carefully separated the textblock from the case again and then, in a moment of complete mental blackout, tried to cut the wet paper. 🤦‍♀️ That didn't go well. I managed to salvage it, mostly, and of course didn't repeat the mistake with Dea's copy, but ugh. 😆

This was a super fun project and I'm very happy with it! Thank you again, Dea, for your faith in me and your super generous donation! 💙

Materials used:

Printed on Clairefontaine DCP 100g

Case and endpapers:

booklinen Colibri cornflower

booklinen Paradise aqua

marbled paper 120g

transparent Japanese paper

Hot Foil (Memory Keepers)

Slipcase:

fleece wallpaper Newroom Nisa lightblue

fleece wallpaper grey glitter

[iknowher]

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀i miss you, i'm sorry ೀ

──ㅤ🤍ㅤ۫ㅤ ͏cheater! gojo who isn't loyal at all 𓉸ㅤ۫ㅤwc.ㅤ:ㅤ1,618 reader's note.ㅤ:ㅤit's quite rushed and short. also it's my first post so requests and constructive criticism is highly appreciated!!

it started with him telling you that he’d be on a mission. you didn’t think he’d be gone for that long. you checked the last time he was here. it’s been approximately 1 week, 4 days and 9 hours. you gave up trying to wait, it was miserable without him home. you decided to text him.. you, 07:24 pm: hey you, 07:24 pm: when are you coming home ??

… no answer. he’d usually respond within minutes— usually seconds. you text him again.. quite desperate now. you, 07:30 pm: gojo you, 07:31 pm: please answer you, 07:36 pm: hellooooo? ! ! ! after a few minutes, a notification sound came from your phone. you got a little dopamine rush, hoping it was gojo. and thank god, it was.. satoru ml ❤️, 07:41 pm: god do you ever shut up satoru ml ❤️, 07:41 pm: you’re so clingy i’m actually sick of you huh? you double-checked the contact name in hopes it wasn’t gojo.. but it really was gojo. you felt confused, why was he acting like this.. like a dick? you felt your eyes swell up. suddenly, yuki texted you. you didn’t feel any more energy to text anyone anymore— but you decided to open it anyway. yuki girlboss duhh, 07:50 pm: um hey girl.. you might wanna see this yuki girlboss duhh, 07:51 pm: (attachment added)

you opened the attachment, feeling your fingers shake. as soon as you open it, you felt a pang of disgust course throughout your body. the picture showcased gojo in a white suit— wait, holy shit.. is that a prada blazer..? you could just tell that his whole outfit probably costed thousands. his hair looked more well-kept than usual.

and there was a girl sitting at the same table as him, she probably also wore an expensive dress.. but you couldn’t really care less. the only thing you cared about was him basically cheating on you. you heard rumors about gojo being a player in highschool, but he was so charismatic— so you decided to ignore it. big mistake. you were so stubborn. literally everyone warned you.. however, you just ignored it. you, 08:02 pm:  oh. ty

shit, you hadn’t realized it but you were on the couch, crying till all your mascara was drooping on your cheeks. you were.. ugly crying.

you were watching your favorite show, 13 reasons why.. you probably rewatched it 4 times by now. and to add onto your already bad mood— you were playing I miss you, I’m sorry in the background.

though your phone was on mute, you couldn’t help but check if anyone texted you. unfortunately gojo did. Satoru Gojo, 01:10 pm: sorry that i said that Satoru Gojo, 01:12 pm: but i have to be real, we should break up … you were torn about insulting him or blocking him— but luckily, you took the more mature route. you, 01:13 pm: kay. why though? within seconds, he responded

Satoru Gojo, 01:13 pm: let’s be honest. this isn’t working. I’m busy and i don't see us continuing as a couple. i’m really sorry you clench your jaw before letting out a scoff, you knew damn well his ass was with another girl, having the time of his life.

you, 01:13 pm: shut the fuck up *you blocked this contact number. tap to unblock* nevermind. you took the immature route you felt the next stage of a breakup, anger and resentment. you opened your instagram, me_and_gojo it was an account where you posted basically all your lively moments with him, gojo. you changed your username to: me_and_myself before taking a good hour or so to delete every post, cleaning everything up. you looked at his account, though there were no posts of him and that girl— you still felt spiteful. you blocked his instagram account too.

…after a couple hours, you woke up at 6 am or so. you rubbed your eyes, seeing that the tv was playing a random movie recommended by netflix. you grabbed the remote, turning it off before grabbing your phone again.. but this time, it was geto, gojo’s best friend. geto, 05:32 am: hey girlieee geto, 05:32 am: i heard you broke up with gojo. I’m rlly sorry for that (i personally think gojo’s in the wrong for that) geto, 05:33 am: but anyway, he wanted his stuff back from your house.. I think he’s moving somewhere else? you let out a sigh, knowing that you’d have to talk or atleast see gojo again you, 06:05 am: oh. alright. you, 06:05 am: when is he coming exactly? geto responds in a few minutes

geto, 06:11 am: he says he can come in an hour or so geto, 06:11 am: just to lyk, i hope you can recover a faint smile appears on your face, but it quickly disappears as you see in the phone reflection how your makeup basically got ruined.. damn, i should invest in some waterproof makeup, you thought to yourself. you quickly head upstairs to your room, grabbing some micellair water and a cotton pad before rubbing it on your face, your makeup disappearing in a couple seconds. as soon as you finish, you hear the doorbell ring. that must be gojo. you felt dread, not wanting to see gojo’s stupid ass face after everything that happened. you hurried downstairs, before opening the door to see gojo, standing casually in front of your house. you felt his six eyes stare at your face. you tried to hide your expression of disgust.. but you could tell he knew you weren’t happy with him being home. he waved awkwardly, ‘’hey, i guess.’’ you ignored him, giving him the silent treatment as he walked in. ‘’oh.. I see, not being very talkative today, eh?’’ he lets out a dumb chuckle. everything that made you love him gave you the ick now. ‘’just.. do your thing.’’ you mumble under your breath. you notice him carrying a couple of big boxes, but even with that— you knew it wouldn’t be enough. ‘’eh alright. it’s gonna take some time, though.’’ he emphasized. as he walked nearby you, you could smell his jean paul gaultier cologne.

the moment you smelled it, you felt dizzy because of how strong it was. highkey, it was suffocating. you made a face of disgust, but you quickly turned around and sat on the couch, looking at him as he walked upstairs with an empty box— and in a few minutes he was downstairs with a full box you were unsure that could even be taped shut. this process continued for more than an hour, until he finally spoke up. ‘’hey, i’m done now. have a good life, alright?’’ he says before walking out the door. you quickly waddled to lock the door and head upstairs, curious how the room you first shared looked like now. you never noticed that most of the stuff in the house was from gojo. everything was and looked so empty— it didn’t feel homey anymore. fast forward to a few months or maybe a year later, you still weren’t really over it yet. honestly, even though gojo was annoying as shit, he fulfilled a spot in your heart nobody could.

he was arrogant, sure, but he could also be an absolute sweetheart at times— and let’s not forget the time when he spoiled you at your birthday. you felt so lucky to be his girlfriend.

maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t find anybody like gojo again. all your friends told you, ‘’girl there are so many fish in the sea’’ and all that bullshit. but, you also knew, if he was really your soulmate— he wouldn’t have cheated in the first place.

after your initial breakup, you couldn’t really care to take care of your looks, usually having messy hair and little to no makeup each day you went to work. maybe being single would be better, cause then you wouldn’t have any heartbreak anymore.

until one day that you walked out the door, deciding to walk to work, it wasn’t that far from your place anyway. you saw geto, but you noticed that he looked kind of.. sad? and he didn’t even care to put his hair up into a bun.

you stopped him in his tracks, wanting to greet him. ‘’hey geto.’’ you smile awkwardly as he glances up at you. ‘’oh. hi.’’ he says, trying to act polite.

‘’eh.. what’s up?’’ you ask him, wanting to know the reason behind his dampened mood. ‘’oh.. you haven’t heard?’’

‘’gojo died.’’ those two words felt like a truck crashing into your heart. ah.. you hated him, sure, but you didn’t exactly want him to die.

‘’huh.. when.. why?’’ you ramble, before geto interrupts you. ‘’well he died, like, a couple days ago. and why? meh.’’ geto shrugs in a nonchalant way. ‘’he died because of a mission. he was being kind of cocky— he thought he’d be able to kill sukuna.’’ you cut him off, wondering how he could’ve died— i mean. he has infinity, six eyes.. he’s basically immortal. right?‘’hold on— how?’’ ‘’hey, i don’t know either.’’

and from that day forward, you had to live with curiosity. who was that girl he was on a date with? how did he even die? but deep down, you knew you would never get an answer on any of your questions. you unblocked him, just to send one, last, message.

you, 06:03 pm: i miss you you, 06:03 pm: i’m sorry. *this contact number has been deleted, your message could not be delivered*

ㅤ🗝ㅤwork belongs to @ iknowher﹐do not plagiarize my work !

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/12/2024

this one's a bit short. i am now thirty and still unemployed (ten months this week) ://// if you enjoy the tuesdayposts and are not maxed out on your charitable donations for other causes (american healthcare access, healthcare access in other places, war relief, any number of other good causes) i am going to be $300 short for december rent. here is my paypal.

listening

listening to a lot of pete seeger, for my health. there are about one zillion recordings of Old Man Atom, all ever so slightly different. it starts off as a perky gee-whiz-science! tune and continues frog marching the listener along in an increasingly jaunty manner. it's

Then the cartel crowd put on a show To turn back the clock on the UNO To get a corner on atoms and maybe extinguish Every darned atom that can't speak English Down with foreign-born atoms! America for American atoms! I hold this truth to be self-evident That all men may be cremated equal!

it's very depressing to listen to early anti-nuclear protest songs and realize they hold even more true today! song's a bop tho!

-

reading

the feds nabbed someone allegedly related to the semi-dire Snowflake data leaks that have been ongoing throughout the year (Santander Bank, AT&T, Ticket Master, Neiman Marcus, etc).

this guy has been a real thorn in krebs' side for a year or so and participates in some of the worst corners of the internet, which explains the adversarial nature of the writeup. i read through the whole thing going "yeah this guy is Very annoying but why is krebs so mad at him" and then got to the bottom section about other activities. italicized OH moment in real life but bad.

-

watching

continuing noirvember with The Maltese Falcon (1941, dir. Huston).

The Maltese Falcon is a 1941 American film noir in which a San Francisco private detective deals with three unscrupulous adventurers, all seeking a jewel-encrusted falcon statuette.[3] Written and directed by John Huston[3] in his directorial debut, the film was based on the 1930 novel The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett and is a remake of the 1931 film of the same name.[4][5][6] It stars Humphrey Bogart as private investigator Sam Spade, Mary Astor as his femme fatale client, and as villains Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet.

i have two really snotty thoughts to get out of my brain: the modern letterboxed reviews like "i liked this but the homophobia ruined it" weak. all of you are WEAK.

and

i appreciate the work of the tumblrinas trying to queer this story in a more 2020s friendly way. however. sam spade canonically calls someone a slur for using cologne that he deems too feminine. the noir detective series you want is Philip Marlowe, who is at least homophobic in interesting and less physically violent ways.

anyway! gorgeous gorgeous movie. mary astor goes toe to fucking toe with bogey in every scene. a very frantic and frightened woman who is one jump ahead of the pathway crumbling behind her at all times. but she takes the jump and makes it! every time! except for the most important one!!!

-

playing

having a normal one with 12 hours of powerwash simulator

new genshin update rapidly approacheth. there's a lot happening in this screenshot. accidentally careened right past this npc, with one bullet for the poor low-level slime in the background, floaty blue pet in tow. the npc wanted me to deliver something to her sister who is visible under the big tree in the background. i love early area spaghetti code.

-

making

deep cleaned my house again bc i had people over for my birthday, which was a very lovely and very drunk evening of star wars on in the background while we played trivia. not how i expected to enter my thirties! i am not in the life circumstances i expected to be in my thirties, i do not have the life i expected to have in my thirties, etc. feeling a little maudlin and need to do crafts about it but also all the crafts in my home are not quite right!

[greenstudies]

Study session essentials

I’ve probably made a post like this before but I’m getting better at studying and so here are my tips on how to have a more effective study sessions. Keep in mind that I am neurodivergent and I can usually do 2 hours of work in 3,5 hours on a good day. I still procrastinate and struggle a lot, but these things help significantly:

Ambience of my current obsession - I love game background noise and ambient music. They keep me focused and entertained without distracting me in anyway. Recently I’ve been having a witcher 3 ambience or “walking in red dead redemption 2″ videos in my headphones

Open-back headphones - I have tinnitus and so noise canceling headphones are not an option. And for a while I didn’t want to wear any headphones until someone got me big open-back ones that don’t seal me away from surrounding noise and absolutely perfect

Putting my phone in a different room - Just put it away. The forest app or putting it out of reach/sight can be good options if you need your phone around but otherwise putting it far is the best option.

Specific study space - For me personally I have to sit at my desk. Studying on my bed or sofa is never as effective as I need

Clean space - Cluttered space means cluttered mind and worse I feel more easily depressed

A toy for my hands - I need to hold something, feel something, look at something. It helps avoid scrolling and it keeps me entertained while my brain does the hard work. It also helps with stimming if I get overwhelmed. I keep around rocks, palm sized plushies, small wooden hearts and animal figurines.

Paper for thoughts - I always have a piece of paper nearby that I scribble thougths, notes and tasks on. This way when I get an idea I just write it down and deal with it during my break. When I remember something I have to do or want to do, think an anxious thought or just need to scribble it goes on the paper.

Candle - I’m a bit afraid of fire and having a candle burning helps me stay in the room because I don’t like leaving it there burning. I like to pick weaker, clean smells like cotton or vanilla. Watching it burn can be very calming too.

Water/juice/iced tea - I always start with a full glass so I don’t have to get up and get water too often

Cup of tea - Besides having a glass of water I always have a warm cup of green or black tea

Snacks - I usually keep an apple or a banana around so I have to leave the room as little as possible. Hunger is usually a good excuse to leave and this is a great way to eliminate it.

Gum - Chewing is very calming for me which usually means I overeat just so I can chew. Sugar-free gum solves this well. I usually need only one since I don’t quite care about the taste as much as the act of chewing. Be careful not to have too many!

Hot water bottle - When I’m stressed and tired my face tenses up a lot and having something warm to put on my face helps a lot. It makes my muscles relax and I often avoid a headache this way.

Medication - I keep my asthma and anxiety meds around. Sometimes studying can really stress me out and it’s good to have those on hand

I hope you find these helpful and have a great day!

[shugar0cone]

“Risk”

I was one of the most influential overloards, music. I controlled all of it especially when Lilith left. I was strong but the work that came with it was lame, I hated when people used my songs without my permission.

I started to fall sleep at the Vs table. Val needed songs for his special shows, vel needed more songs on social media to bring in more, and vox just needed things for background music. “So what do you say.” Vox says and turned to me. I snored in response. I woke up. “Sure just here.” You signed the papers. You went to walk out until velvet grabbed me and took a picture with me.

I went to the hotel tired, I went to a total 6 places for copy-write and then i still had a song to be made. I took off my shoes, nifty cleaned the place enough so you could take them off but not clean enough to take off my socks. “Ugh!” I yelled and clenched my hair. “Man I wanna quit doing this.” I say. I hear static. The room felt more heavy and dark. “What’s wrong my dear.” He put a hand down on my shoulder and looked at me. “Overloard crap, I don’t have time to enjoy my power instead I’m doing meeting then I’m doing shit at this fucking hotel!” I kicked a pole and it shifted. “Shit.” I grabbed it. “Alastor it’s been so long that I can’t remeber how strong I am.” I pinched my nose confused and conflicted with my self, “I want to help myself but I also want to help Charlie. I’m doing both and it’s not working.” I sat on the couch. I felt a pair of hands grasping my shoulders and rubbing them. “Now, dear you just need to do you, besides you don’t believe in this redemption crap.” I thought for abit. “I don’t but maybe if I take the risk it could work.” I held my hands together. “Alastor, if people didn’t try we would be somewhere else these days.” I say. Alastor looked down at me. “Think about it if somone didn’t risk the idea of radio you wouldn’t be you, if god risked falling his favorite son where would we go.” I sighed. “You’re right my love but…” he paused the smile never faded. “But if those risk takers where wrong think about the humiliation oh and the pain.” He laughed. I looked down sadden. “I’m quitting…” tear plucked my eyes. I loved my job I loved music, but at the same time every tune and every rhyme was mine when it should be shared. “Music should be given to people not stolen.” I thought. This is my risk maybe if I risked being weak and risked being vulnerable then maybe others could enjoy the symphony I took. “Yep I’m done.” With that I got up and left the hotel.

A week has passed since I quit. Charlie hugged me. “THATS A REDEEMING QUALITY YOU WHERE SELFLESS AND SHARED MUSIC AGAIN.” I smiled. “Hey I kept some of it.” I said holding up some sheets of music. “Besides it’s a way to express one’s self.” I looked at Alastor who had a grin on his face. “And it’s the risk I took.” I smiled at him. Thinking ‘and you should too.’

AN: not my best but honestly go board and just wrote, I do like the idea of a music overloard and definitely did not re use this idea for y/n instead of my oc…heh… anyways hopped y’all enjoyed my loves!

P.s: droop stuff in my inbox I love hearing yall suggestions!

-Shugar

[sothera]

Another night, and another day of waiting...

Perhaps...today... please Gods...

"I wonder if he runs around shirtless.."

"He put on quite a light show..."

"He's as strong as Rafe if the arms..."

Those were easy to move out of his mind...

"Oh my Gods... his head..."

That one...not so much...

The TacTack...a rare creature, even for The Pits. Parasitic, it needs a host for reproduction.

Soth wondered which had wound up being.... the announcer or the young Lieutenant.

Either way, he hoped someone was there to...end it.

As he wished he were there, in the cave, to end it...

Soth imagined holding its arms just far enough apart to cause it pain, yet not tear them completely off, then...

Then...

The satisfaction of pulling it towards him, pulling its arms further back...

Toward the Flare, glowing brilliant red...

The look in its eyes as it slams against his chest, then the struggling as he starts to Feed...

Its strength entering him; filling him, adding to him, whatever wounds he has healing instantly, the Bliss he feels as all of the fight goes out of it, the monster getting weaker and weaker.

The moment it went limp... submitting...

Then...

If it had attacked someone he knew, or even didn't know, he would then crush it against his chest, feeling it's ichor running on him.

Sometimes he would tear the head off, dry it out and offer it to the person or family it wounded as a trophy.

Then, of course, the bath...

The nearest clean pool would do; remove the stain, the taint of...it...

The stain of what he'd done; that never washed away...

I am a killer; a thing in human form, that must kill other things in order to live...

"Does the Hawk apologize to the Salmon?"

Soth remembered that question, and the conversation he'd had with Master Ryan. All things must eat, that was The Way, but he wondered, if William knew his thoughts...during... would he still be willing to call me 'friend'?

"Are you At One With The Universe yet?"

Rafe...

"No, and I don't think I'm going to be for a while."

"Cosmic Thoughts?"

"Just thinking about the broadcast last night."

"They're back on the air; Soth, the Lieutenant, Dryden... apparently, one of us was a minute behind it..."

"That's all it takes."

"He Drained it, then tore it in half, then yelled 'Cleric!", then moved on. The announcer guy saw the whole thing; they have a new gal on in his place."

"A new...gal...?"

"Ellen Blightbane..."

"Ellie Blight!?"

"You and I could call her that, but our noses regenerate if they get broken."

"True..." Soth tried to recall...he hadn't spent much time around a wireless until he'd returned... of course constant babbling was always in the background on The Surface.

"I remember; she did a lot of work exposing child labor, she would disguise herself, sneak in a camera, a Gem would've been spotted." Soth said.

"She risked her own life to expose some pretty nasty stuff." Rafe said.

"Brave woman." Soth said.

"So was her camera guy..." Rafe remarked, "still, she did good, and still does."

"Anyway, she's on, thought you might want to listen, seeing as this isn't working."

Soth remembered he was barefoot; looking down, he saw Rafe was, too.

How much did you pick up?

Most of it.

Sorry, just brooding...

It's okay, I was your age, once...

"It's just...when they said 'his head', I knew it was the Lieutenant, and I felt like I should be there..." Soth said, aloud.

"Spoken like a true Pit Fighter." Rafe said.

"It's all I really have to offer..."

"You know that's not true, right?"

"Rafe...you make things, you repair things, you entertain people; I'm just the guy that tags along and kills things."

"Making it possible for the rest of us, me included, to do those things."

Good evening everyone; this is Ellen Blightbane, and this is the KNN evening news. I'm speaking to..

Tholek.. Tholek Deathstrike...

More like 'Latestrike' you Ungodly..

AAH! MY NOSE YOU LITTLE!...

Get him outta here...now...

My apologies, Mr. Deathstrike...

Call me 'Tholek', Ma'am...

Only if you call me 'Ellen'...

Of course...Ellen...first, let me apologize for not being there in time to save the life of Lt. Dryden, may the Gods grant him Peace Eternal.

This is slowly becoming a war, Tholek, and in war, people are lost.

True, still, his death will stay with me. I trust the Hygieans will be able to help your... predecessor?

They seem to think so, although he will be restricted to studio only for a while.

At least he's alive, thanks to you, Tholek.

I'm honored to have been of service.

For those of you who haven't figured it out yet, Tholek is an Inductor, a race of half-human, half-demon men with, well, let's just call them extraordinary skills, and without whom, this struggle would be much more difficult.

How many of your kind are with us, Tholek?

Fifty, Miss...Ellen; The Council saw fit to send more after they heard the broadcast. My Brethren will do everything in our power to ensure...

That just enough of these monsters survive for you to keep Feeding!

Ah, I see the Red Dandies are here, ladies and gentlemen, that was Maurice Nebut, local leader of The League Of Racial Purity...

Hi, Morrie, remember me? The cotton thread factory a few years back? All those kiddos you had scrambling between the gears?

Yes; shame about your cameraman, may the Gods grant him Peace Eternal...

Oh, believe me, once I get those photos out, he won't be alone up there.

Of course, dear...

Take that truth home with you, 'dear'...

In any case, I'm here to deliver a letter of protest to the highest ranking Human official.

Yes, I've been told your little group is passing these around.

Not so little anymore, Miss Blight.

That's Blightbane to you, Mr. Oldeass...

I have a letter here from the Red Dandies; any takers?

I'll just hold onto this for you, and make sure it gets all the attention it deserves.

See that you do...

Well, there he goes, full of vim and vinegar...(sound of paper tearing)

Anyway, thank you, Tholek, for everything...

Always, Ellen, and perhaps we could speak later?

Sure! Anything in particular you want to talk about?

Well... I'd like to show you a nice left hook to go with that right cross...

Thank you, but I already have one.

Well, I'll have to think of something else...

You're a bright guy; you'll think of something...

Well, back to work then...

Be seein' you!

Well, I'm told our own Barbara Sunstone has the weather forecast ready for us, take it away, Barb!

"She's quite the spitfire..." Rafe said, switching the wireless off.

"Yeah; it reminded me of the broadcasts I heard on The Surface." Soth replied.

"Have they perfected the visual radiometric yet?"

"Television, and yes, large screens less than half a fingerspan wide, full color, incredible picture quality, color of course, and the sound..."

Rafe had an almost hungry look on his face...

"All in good time, Brother Soth; I have a sword to make first..." Rafe said.

[pastel-rights]

Cal's Games Review: Who Drank It?

Well, Brynn/Cranberry found my post where I mentioned their game alongside a ton of other games! Wuh oh. (Navi you TRAITORRRR /j /t) I decided that since Cranberry mentioned wanting to know how the experience was, I'd make a full post with my thoughts and feelings on the game.

I think for background information, just to set the scene, I am someone who looks at and plays various visual novels, ranging from the KFC dating simular to Kimi to Kanojo to Kanojo no Koi. (google those at your own risk.) So, when I saw Who Drank It? I was pretty intrigued not going to lie.

It was a very nice little visual novel for what it was! Well, more so, you can tell a lot of love and care went into this demo, and the entire visual novel has this very nice, homely feeling to it overall. This was a project where you could just enjoy all the effort put into it.

Can I compliment your art really quick??? Not even as an artist myself but just someone playing your game by passing chance???? The artwork for this game is very, very pretty you guys. It's really charming in all aspects, the CGs (both in the game and on Cranberry's tumble page) are so dynamic and the poses are so nice and those expressions??????? oh my gorsh guys, and those sprites??? the sprites were so nice and clean, I love the designs of each character (I am especially fond of Gallagher's design- more on him later). The color choices for this visual novel are a nice blend of being soft on the eyes, yet memorable (and they make those outfits look so, so endearing. Can I have Ratio's button up????? I want it.) and awawawwa- [I explode into confetti mid-sentence]

And now, from an artist to an artist? Sure, the character designs for everyone and all art associated with the visual novel itself are very, very nice. Even from an outside perspective, you can see that. But as an artist myself? I have more than just an appreciation for the artwork of the novel, I'm outright awed every time I see art for it because being an artist isn't easy! Doing something like this takes time, effort, and a love for your craft, and honestly? Between the character sprites, the cg art, the artistic direction of the novel and it's visual interface? Shit, I respect the hell out of Cranberry for this, because it's something that seems so small to an outside view but it's honestly super endearing and awe-inspiring!

Anyways I love the art for this visual novel. Not sure how big of a compliment it might mean to you but hey! Compliments to the chef or whatever people say when they get a good ass meal.

Next thing, is probably the characterization of everyone in the visual novel? Which, I'll have to chunk that into sections, from the perspective of someone who's played HSR (he has an E1 Aventurine and is currently trying to explode playable Sunday with her mind) and from a game player perspective.

...

Which, ironically enough, brings me to the only non-HSR character, the MC! Normally, in visual novels, the MC is kind of... plain. Whether its a shits and giggles visual novel (like the BSD dating simulator visual novel Tae made me play.) or something higher quality (like Doki Doki Literature Club), the MC of these novels... I've always found them quite... plain? I didn't dislike them, but, I wasn't a big fan either. They were just there, which was the entire goal of their existence, only shaped by the choices you as a player make. But, WDI's MC was something rather refreshing! I enjoyed the personality of the MC, something between sassy yet caring, I really loved their vibes. I enjoyed playing through their eyes, because they were someone enjoyable to be around, something both unique and inviting. It's hard to have an (insert yourself here) MC who is still main character material without them being too boring or too personalized but I think WDI's MC has done that type of MC very well! 10/10 MC would fuck around as them again.

Aventurine. Oh, my lucky son of a bitch. I need to see him explode desperately. E1? My main? A cosplay? A blog? Own personal projects concerning a version of him?? You're ruining my life, my good sir. Bring Topaz back. /j

Jokes and teasing aside, I enjoyed the way Aventurine/Kakavasha was characterized in this fic. He was a favorite from my in-game HSR shenanigans, a main stay in my in-game team, a favorite muse in my musing arsenal and so, so much more. And honestly? This visual novel did a wonderful, wonderful job with his characterization, and they handled his character and his secrets very, very well. Faithful characterization is something I myself find I struggle with from time to time, (you can ask my friends, I never shut up about it when writing myself) and so seeing this really nice interpretation of Aventurine/Kakavasha that still feels somewhat like the in-game Aventurine to an extent is very, very nice. And those colors on that casual outfit we first meet him in? God, I love them so much... but it might be because I like the teal green of his original color palette and it reminds me of it.

Professor Veritas Ratio... I'm sobbing why is it such a fancy ass title for a grandpa fit looking ass. I want that shirt so bADLYYYYY. (He looks like he's going to remind me to take my meds /pos) Again, Cranberry has a very very lovely interpretation of Ratio in this visual novel! Ratio is someone who seems to get mischaracterized a lot by the fandom and it's refreshing to see that faint worry and caring nature the canon Ratio has in a visual novel such as this. He can be sharp lipped but he cares a lot about the MC and it shows (or, at least in my memory, it's been a while since we played it so excuse me if my memory is a little hazed.) I just. While I'm not a big fan of some Ratio interpretations in the fandom, I really enjoyed this one, it's written with genuine love. /gen /pos

Sunday.

And finally... Gallagher! (of course, there's Boothill and Robin, however, they're the foggiest in my head. I just remember Boothill kept making me laugh, which, canon lmao.) Of all the HSR men (and women), Gallagher was someone I never cared for in the slightest. (I was always more of a Misha enjoyer.) The story didn't really do him the justice he probably deserves and his fans can be... a nightmare sometimes. Safe to say, I'm not a Gallagher fan, not even a Gallagher enjoyer... barely even a Gallagher tolerator, get this man OUT of my gacha. So, with this in mind...

Compliments to the writer!

I really liked your Gallagher, in all senses of the word. In fact, he was probably my favorite character in the novel, next to the main character. He was equal parts lovable and intriguing, yet there was an air of joy and whimsy that really made him pop! Everytime he was on screen was a true, genuine delight. And his design just lends so much to this characterization as well. Something soft yet solid and protective. My gamemates were also pleasantly delighted by your Gallagher!

Overall, the storyline of the demo was very nice! The yandere side of any fandom isn't something I usually find myself in, if I'm being completely honest. I enjoy themes of obsession, possessiveness and everything that comes with the yandere side of a fandom's writing blogs, but... yanderes themselves? Don't love, don't hate 'em.

But, as you know, Navi suggested this game (not to me directly, of course, but through their now archived blog, and I took a look through it for myself, and now we're here.) and I thought, sure, why not.

Despite having the yandere themes and nature behind it and my neutrality in the yandere spectrum, the storytelling itself was very, very good, easy to follow, yet it was very intriguing and enjoyable at the same time. It kept me interested, yet I never got lost in the story either. It might not mean a lot coming from someone you don't know very well but, I went out after the fact and looked at some of the other fics on your blog and, I think you are a very talented and incredible storyteller, Cranberry. You and Navi helped give me an incredible experience, both storywise and game wise.

From a reader to the author, it was very enjoyable, easy to follow, with a fun narrative and an even more fun narrator. I need to explode Sunday with a fire hydrant though. Leave my boy Gallagher ALONE.

From a weakish author himself to the author of this amazing, god. teach me your ways your writing is so GOOOOOD. awawawaw- [she melts into a vaguely cal shaped puddle.]

Shoutout to the music on the title screen by the way, i was just jamming out for a good 10 minutes on my own. I love a good song, it always sets a good mood and keeps you hyped for what comes next.

I think this game would be really awesome if you got some voice actors for the project by the way. Some of these scenes are metal as they are, and I just know with the right voice actors, you can take the passion in this project from a 10 to an 11 real fast. Of course, that in and of itself can be tricky in and of itself, since y'know, schedules and pay and whatnot but. maybe somewhere down the line, a dream, a hope even. (I know someone who would love to help on this end, though, if you ever become interested in the prospect in the future.)

The actual visual setup of the game was very easy to follow, it was very pretty to look at as well, and it was mostly very gentle on the eyes. The text was a little small unfortunately but I have kind of shitty vision myself so it might jussst be a Cal issue? Nonetheless, very easy and simple to follow along and use, I'd give user experience a 9 out of 10.

And with the big word blabble out of the way...

Yeah! 10 out of 10 stars, honestly. Genuinely, I haven't had a visual novel captivate me in this way since I found Kimi to Kanojo to Kanojo no Koi a couple years back. It was delightful in all aspects. I came into it with slight reservations and zero expectations and I came back, very happy and pleasantly surprised!

This is heavy metal Barbie Girl levels of enjoyment, to be honest. (Wasn't expecting to love it, can't stop thinking about it, probably permanently altered my brain chemistry, this IS a compliment i PROMISE.) Can't wait for the full release!!

Godspeed, gamers!

[dawntheduckrb]

Okay so the last time I posted a wip, it was a draft that really only needed to be cleaned up. Problem is, clean lines and my dominant hand aren't quite getting along at the moment.

Solution?

I mapped the whole thing out in rulers :)

I didn't have to focus on getting lines clean in one stroke, could put down the pen in the middle of lines, aaaaand could adjust any wobbles in lines when they came up. I typically don't like using the control point editor because you know, I need to be working on getting clean lines on my own first (am student). Buuuut this isn't an academic study. It's for fun, and I am in fact having fun, so I think it's alright every now and then :D

Anyway I don't know where to go from here so I will be messing with it a lot I think, may(?) post updates. This isn't the final linework btw, I just thought the rulers against the background looked neat and wanted to share :O (I dodged out of the screen reflection but could not do so for my actual phone, apologies)

[atopearth]

Norn9: Last Era Part 1 - Prelude

I have been wanting to play this fandisc ever since I finished the main game, but I had to finish Amnesia: Later first so I literally had to stop myself from dropping everything for it hahaha. Anyway, to say I'm excited is an understatement because I am SO ready. Personally, I'm planning on starting with Senri or Heishi because they're my least favourites but I'll see, I might alternate with guys I kinda like so I don't get bored haha. Nagisa is pretty! I'm actually so glad we're getting more background on Masamune and the island because we basically knew nothing about it in the original game. As for Masamune's uncle, definitely a genius scientist for making the hiyoko-san! Who doesn't want adorable little chicks cleaning and cooking and even navigating a ship?! I mean if it's going to be functional and practical, why not be cute as well?! I believe in the importance of cuteness and I approve. Anyway, it's nice to finally see "adults" in this world aside from Yuiga. Lmao at Masamune being surprised at how many hiyoko there actually were on the ship hahahah. I find it amusing that the Hiyocook wasn't actually good at cooking tasty food until Masamune gave it a cook book haha. It's also interesting but sad to know that the hiyoko actually can't remember too many things and that Masamune actually has to delete recipes if he wants Hiyocook to cook something else. They're robots, but seeing stuff like Hiyocook getting dejected that Masamune didn't like its' cooking and then becoming happy when Masamune said the food is delicious, isn't that enough for you to care about them?

I guess it's nice to know that just as everyone else came on the Norn unsure of what to expect and how to interact with others, Masamune was also worried about talking to people outside of the island. I think it was sweet of him to be considerate towards Kakeru and want him to be able to relax here. Ooh so you have to go through the whole Prelude with all the characters perspectives before you can go to the individual story! I like that because it's very interesting to me right now. Is the sister Masamune is talking about Nagisa, and her brother is Natsuhiko? I never thought about it until now but their hair colour is the same isn't it! I know people aren't that fond of Masamune but I really love him. I love how he prioritises others before himself without any hesitation, and I think it's exactly because of that, that Kakeru can't help but open up and like him for who he is as well. Since there's only nine squares, I assume we won't get to the girls' perspectives, which is sad because I would have liked to see their initial impressions too even if some bits and pieces may have already been shown.

Even though Mikoto is harsh as usual, seeing her so concerned and worried about Sakuya reminds me of how much I liked them together. I can see why Kakeru has always been irked by Mikoto considering her attitude when she first arrived on the Norn, especially when he cooked for everyone and she didn't appreciate it at all and instead said pretty harsh words. I can't blame him for disliking her at all haha😅 Both Sakuya and Mikoto are stubborn, but I like seeing Sakuya who usually dotes on Mikoto and would do anything for her be strict with her and not budge on her ruining her health by not eating. Mikoto is a true tsundere that cares about people too much for her own good even if she doesn't express it well. Honestly, I never really thought too deeply about the story of Rapunzel but I do agree with Sakuya to an extent that the witch was "protecting" Rapunzel in her own way whether those were her true intentions or not. Natsuhiko, Setsu and Ron chilling on the ship together was such a nice CG, I actually quite like their relationship. I didn't expect Ron and Natsuhiko to have known each other for eight years! It's sad to think about how tough Natsuhiko's life was after leaving the island and how his desire to stop the Reset was the only thing fuelling him. Lmao at Natsuhiko being so sweet and packing Ron's bags for him when he leaves for the Norn, it's so funny how he packs stuff like cold medicine haha, he's too cute! Natsuhiko really is like a mother or wife haha, I love how he told Ron to keep his hands to himself and wear pajamas to bed🤣 I thinks it's nice to see that just as Natsuhiko was interested in Mikoto after seeing photos of her during his investigation, Ron was also interested in Nanami even though it's mainly because he knew she had the power to erase memories.

Personally, I will always agree with Natsuhiko's thoughts and feelings towards the Reset because it's ridiculous to control how the world should be, it's egotistic and forces your own ideals on the world itself. Also, in the end, the fact that they keep doing multiple Resets already goes to show it does nothing but merely reset things to a certain time but humans don't change how they act and the decisions they make. If they don't remember, they won't learn and if they don't learn, they will always do the same thing thinking it's the right way. Ron throwing away the bag Natsuhiko so thoughtfully prepared was so sad but so him. I didn't expect Ron's name to come from Mahjong though lol. Lmao, I can't help but love Hiyocook, it's so dedicated to cooking and gets dejected when it's Akito's turn now that he's come aboard the ship hahahaha.

I really enjoy seeing the guys interact and learn things from each other considering their various different backgrounds, especially Sakuya, I'm happy for him that he gets to experience a bit more of the world with Kakeru and Akito teaching him things. Lmao at Akito scared of cracking eggs because he's worried a little chick will come out of it🤣🤣 HAHAHA, Akito being scared of birds because he met a peacock who ended up trying to court him by following him 24/7 and leaving him bugs and stuff on his doorstep is so silly!!🤣🤣 Akito meeting Senri for the first time in six years and not being able to call out his name because Senri didn't remember him broke my heart. It was obvious that Akito was good at cooking because he wanted to cook delicious food for Senri but hearing him say it really warms my heart. He's always done everything he could to protect and love Senri but they were forced to be separated in such a terrible way. It was so sweet how Akito actually talked to Hiyocook and swapped shifts so he could cook for Senri, poor Akito faced his fears did Senri! Even though I do acknowledge that Kakeru can go a bit too far sometimes (also Senri's fault sometimes tbh), when he got Senri to say that the food was delicious louder so Akito could hear it, I was so happy for Akito. And honestly, if Kakeru wasn't so drastic, Senri really might just stay in his room forever being babied by Masamune and them who would bring him food.

I feel bad for Mikoto, can totally understand why she was scared of Itsuki, his first impression is definitely the worst haha. Lmao, I love how Ron's comment about thinking that Itsuki was some sort of prostitute made all the girls avoid him🤣 Legit ruined his reputation with one word. HAHAHA, Itsuki definitely deserved the flying kick from Sakuya when he asked Mikoto to meow🤣 LMAO at Itsuki thinking Senri was a zashiki warashi (child ghost) because he never realised he existed😂😂 I've always wondered about Senri's tattoo on his face but since they never addressed it, I just thought of it as some sort distinction to make him look less plain haha, but knowing that the adults in the village basically did it to brand him and always recognise him so he can never run away just makes me all the more disgusted with them. They tried to kill Akito and branded Senri for their livelihoods thinking that just because they needed them to live, it was all right to do these things because it was a matter of life and death. It was actually pretty funny how when Sakuya wasn't feeling good after seeing the future, Senri got Ron to help and Ron was basically useless and just kept wondering how he should pull himself together and be a proper adult like Senri told him he should hahahha.

I was actually wondering why it felt so quiet, I completely forgot about Heishi! I can't remember if it was ever told, but I really didn't realise that Heishi was part of a travelling entertainment troupe playing the flute before he came on the Norn! I can see why Itsuki cares for Heishi so much in his route now. He was the one who gave Itsuki the push he needed to see his sister's grave and make him realise that there are things more important than just listening to The World and going along with things using excuses like it can't be helped. It's also nice to see Nanami get to break out of her shell with Heishi because he just does whatever he wants. I always felt like Heishi was the one who helped Nanami get out of her shell the most so I was disappointed when I actually didn't like his route, but hopefully this will be better considering I'm really enjoying the Prelude! I really like how the three hour train ride (one way) was how the three of them started playing cards together and getting along haha! I knew Itsuki's sister's body wasn't in the grave but I never thought that it was because her body got incinerated since people didn't know what her illness was and thought it might be contagious. That is certainly something cruel to have to face with every time he visits the grave, it must hurt to think he couldn't stop it and couldn't even save the house or their belongings, that is so terrible. They basically razed everything that reminds him of his life with his sister. I think it was really sweet of Heishi's Grandpa and Seiji to give Heishi so much money in hope that he could run away and live a free life for himself instead of being shackled to The World. It's sad to think that Heishi has nothing important to him so he thinks it's pointless to run away to somewhere he doesn't even know, but I think his decision is right in that by being beside Mikoto and them, there's a chance he'll find a way of life he wants to live, and that by interacting with others who understand and know his powers, he can learn to accept that it's a part of him instead of just calling it an illness. I've always liked how Heishi gave his tie to Nanami, it's so cute. I liked how Masamune scolded them for coming back so late and Kakeru called him a dad hahaha. I think I especially liked it because Nanami, Itsuki and Heishi have never really experienced something like that where their parents would be so worried about them coming home so late and shout at them, it's endearing haha, not everyone gets to experience that normal concern and love.

Overall, I really liked the Prelude! I kinda hoped to see more of Masamune's part with the scientists but oh well, I still enjoyed seeing everyone's perspectives. I personally enjoyed seeing how Heishi, Itsuki and Nanami's relationship developed from the beginning the most, but I think it was also really cute to see how Kakeru always flusters Masamune and what kind of feelings Masamune had as the first one on the ship waiting for everyone to board. But yeah, I really just enjoyed watching everyone pop up one by one filling up the ship as they all became the rowdy bunch they were when Koharu joined. The extra insight into everyone's thoughts and feelings as they all left things behind once they stepped on to the Norn for their various reasons was interesting to watch and I honestly can't wait to see more of their stories!

[thefisherqueen]

Notes on Granada's Sherlock Holmes: the last vampire

This will be a tough one to follow for me! I barely remember anything about the story, except that it had something to do with blood, that a woman was wrongly and for rather racist reasons accused and that instead a young boy turned out to be the attempted murderer

Someone is burned alive in the opening scene? What? I don't remember this

"I'll stop if you let me kiss you". Wait. Isn't this her actual stepson? *a few minutes further* ok, that is not the mother, so not her stepson. Still very creepy behaviour from this boy. This comes a bit too close for comfort to me personally. People very rarely talk about it, but children can be the perpertators of sexual violence sometimes, as was the case for me

Ok, the next scene cheers me up. Laughing so hard about Holmes dressing up as a vampire and scaring the hell out of Watson

Why is everyone so scared of that grave looking man dressed in black? Don't understand that yet

Holmes, highly randomly: "This cup and saucers has been here for three days" he's so ADHD

Holmes: "Everything is better than this stagnation" *flops dramatically down in a chair* *assumes even more dramatic pose*

Poor Watson, he just wants some tea while Holmes is infodumping

Seems like Jeremy Brett and Edward Hardwicke had the time of their lives acting this whole vampire scene, I love them so much

Holmes: "The world is big enough for us, no ghosts need apply" Ah, I remember that quote!

Why am I not convinced by Holmes' reason for being in possesion of vampire teeth? Never heard Holmes say 'uhm' so much *mind goes wild with possibilities* I really want to know that the team's thoughts were! Watson: "Did you put them to use?" Almost convinced Watson discovers he has a vampire kink here

Client: "Thank you young man, I'm not quite in my grave yet" Haha, love a fiesty old man

I adore Brett and Hardwicke exchanging glances and trying not to laugh as the forgetful client rambles on

Ah, there's the first death. Looks quite dramatic with all the blood! And oh, that stranger really had bad timing. And he's a descendant of a hated, cruel landowner who the villagers burned alive. Plenty of reason I guess for the villagers to be suspicious

So the baby died as well (they made this so much darker). Holmes and Watson go to the village to investigate and keep the village calm. Good concept, actually. Great expantion upon the canon story

Village life has changed so little over a hunderd years that I forgot for a while that this movie takes place in the victorian age, lol, until Watson named all the young influenza victims. Yeah, that was a thing back then. Not entirely related, but I wonder now how long it took before child deaths in villages really started to go down. The installing of sewers and clean drinking water supply made a huge difference here... but I wouldn't be surprised if it took a long time before all villages had the same fascilities as the cities. Anyway, as tragic as it always has been (and I read a lot of proza and poetry written by grieving parents), a baby's death still was nothing out of the ordinary around 1900. According to this graph on child mortality, 228 out of a 1000 children died before they were five years old in the UK in 1900. (compared to 4 in 2020. That's an astonishing difference)

Ohh, bats living in the countryside with lots of old buildings, suspicious!

The writer is very relatable. I, too, have a tendency to horrify the fellow people at my table with marcabre history and uncomfortable questions

Love the way Holmes enages the whole fucking pub. Loudy: "Surely there is no crime in this part of the country!" *dead silence*

The influenza epidemic running in the background really adds to the panicked atmoshere, that was a clever choice

What was that sudden hallucination (??) at the ruin? *some time later* Oh, all right. Glad they went with actual optical effects this time

I love the scenes where we get to see Watson in his role as a doctor, visiting patients - calm, caring, competent. Such a wonderful exploration of that side of his character

Oh, the writer himself is dead now too? That was quite sudden and unexpected. Damn. I liked him. He was creepy but in a good way. Third death and counting, because of course it's not over now

I hate how realistic this whole panicked reaction of the village feels. People see causal relations where they don't exist and do wild, irrational things when they're scared, we've all seen it over the years. I can easily see a group of conspiracy theorists digging up a just burried man in the dead of night and moving him

I like how it's not necessary the Peruian artifacs and beliefs that are portrayed as in themselves creepy, but what they become in the hands of two white people. I think you can certainly argue it's a portrayal of cultural appropriation

The finale felt a bit rushed compared to the middle part. Still satisfying, but why kill the boy off? (at least I assume he's dead). I would have loved to see closure in the village, especially for the parents because holy shit they lost both their children, and a bit more reflection from Holmes and Watson

I really loved this episode, it was so well done and may become one of my favs. Nice build up, delightful characters, a good balance of fun and eerie things. The only thing I can find fault with is that the timing was just a bit off, the middle part a bit to long and the ending a bit too short. Classic period horror movie meets detective story

[haeroniel-doliet]

Bonus content!! Please feel free to enjoy the process timelapse of the most recent thing I made for the Avantris Valentines gift exchange!

I am gonna have a little ramble about some thoughts on this one below the cut, mostly for my own future reference and anyone curious!

Hey there! fun fact I turned on recording a few art projects ago and I think its genuinely helping me a lot to keep a reference like it for how each process vs finished product was!

First of all, please do not pay mind to the janky final few seconds, I cut the canvas size down and clearly the recording did not enjoy that :')

As usual, had a bit of a hard time figuring out exactly what I wanted to do, and just threw shit at the wall literally doodling anything and everything, and literally just ended up thinking lol, thats kinda funny and building from there

Generally, I do a super rough thumbnail style idea, then one of very large shapes to block out what goes where before finally going onto do the first draft, that I try do real fast so I can get all ideas on paper and all mistakes visible before I dedicate in too hard

(I was feeling stuck honestly at this stage, so I decided to slap some colours on for fun to see if I even like the big picture at all, and funny enough a good few friends did suggest that thats totally good enough right? But it didn't feel like something I was proud of so I got a week or so of a break before breaking into the full clean drawing/lining process which does take ages but turned out quite lovely here I think

Praise be references again!! Granted, here I got off quite easy, I really only used the official character art + a few screenshots of Andy + a pretty crow I found online. No, wait actually, I remember I had a terrible horrible time trying to find the exact kind of pose or even hand reference online for some reason, so I did take my own photos to make it work!

Oh so the thing I learned, idk if you can spot it, in the colouring in stage, I was trudging through Jericho on the left as I normally do, dreading the lack of time I had left and how long just flat colours would take, right? Then by Marius I was exhausted, worried I would actually have nothing to gift my giftee, and decided hell at least I can make a highly stylised just filled in with a relevant colour thing, right? And if I do have the time to finish it, I can always use them as a sort of wash/colour unifying overlay! Here, I remembered the fill tool exists hahh, and I just had to make a few lil work arounds like not letting colours touch each other and boom, speed!

but thing is, I was still spending forever gently outlining my tiny 4 pixel wide lines to not make it sloppy, when I learned about this groovy lil contiguous selection tool (lil magic wand icon!) and boom I can select a coloured in region, invert selection and colour in with like a few broad strokes total! Absolutely a game changer

So I did manage to absolutely speed through the rest, deciding fuck it I am gonna do my best to do at least a lil rendering, even if doing a beautiful full perfect job wouldve taken at least an extra week probably, and I think it doesn't suffer much for it!

The background btw is from my lovely friends suggestions, something simple that suggests a vaguely transitional moment in time, and i thought some sunset like colours would also be a bit valentines appropriate!

And, this recording is 69,441 frames long (would've been so god damn funny if it was 69,420 though) and I crunched some numbers, where I wouldve spent at minimum like 20 hours of active constant drawing on this! Thats, a good chunk honestly and maybe hopefully now with this colouring trick I can get even more efficient!

Anyway, despite the rush at the end where I felt like my hand would fall off from drawing so much so quickly (felt about as stressed in a good way as for my thesis lol) I am beginning to be proud of the end result and i'm very glad my giftee liked it too!! Time to face the scary concept of sharing this in the big discord server hahaaaaahh

Heres to trying to draw a bit more and hopefully be more chill about it!! Although, I do love the satisfaction I get from making all the lil details too (fun fact, I hid a ton of tiny lil hearts super subtly all throughout them, i.e. in the rose centres)

I don't imagine anyone has made it here and read all this, but hi! if you did, please do leave a like or a comment or so, I'm very interested to know if this was at all interesting to anyone but me! Also I love chatting about art!!

[duck-ism]

Blog Post #00002

01/08/25

Weekly song: Push- Matchbox 20

Today I woke up at a reasonable 9:35 est, but that’s only because my elbow may have done something weird, I’m not sure, part of the same condition that gives me chronic pain I’m sure. I also woke up to a response from what I’m only imagining is a 38 year old mother of three hyperactive boys to an Instagram reel where I had asked the comment section what a fan animation of F1 racing was supposed to mean because F1 is something I never followed but i had referred the general audience as “Chat” where she then had the audacity to seemingly talk down to me and say “How about we dont call people “Chat”, ok?”. I’m sorry Danielle, but you have no you cannot come into a comment section of a reel clearly intended for a younger audience and tell me not to use slang that today’s younger generations would be using in order to communicate with them, you also have no idea what my background education in language is, which not to brag, but when I have papers for college I’m often writing them at a higher level than what is expected of me. I’m very familiar with the rules of the English language. Therefore, I am more than able to also break them. She’s not my professor or mother, so she can’t tell me how I should be able to speak and communicate. I may be getting unnecessarily upset but I wanted to discuss that some people no matter what age they are will go on to the internet and only try to put you down and let a harmless comment offend them, like Danielle. 

After some, and by some I mean quite a bit of issues from my laptop which I use to write this blog in my google docs of my personal email, I was finally able to start writing this blog. I had intended to write this undisturbed on my living room floor while drinking my daily tea, which is an orange pekoe tea filled to just over half of the mug volume with 2 and half teaspoons of sugar and 2% milk the reset of the way leaving about half an inch at the rim of the mug, alas my laptop had other plans which is fine I suppose as I obviously got to writing anyways. As I mentioned I write my blog in a google docs before copy pasting it into Tumblr and then saving it as a draft and then editing things like text size and editing punctuation and grammar on my phone as my phone seemingly is equipped with grammarly and my laptop which I swore did have it, dosent so for sake of legibility you’re all welcome to thank my phone, despite my grammar usually being fine, well, at least for shorter texts and not personal daily blogs… Y’know?

I got my college timetable last night and because I need to re-take one of my courseswhich is a prerequisit in September as my program only runs once a year, I have Wednesdays completely off it seems, but that also means that I’m at home all of the time, because I failed the only class that was in person… I also need to talk to my boss at my part time job because I haven’t been scheduled by them since August… way to go me… Gods I’m trying so hard to better, but it feels like a brick wall sometimes.

But anyways, enough frustration, I need to figure out how I’m going to fill my time, right now, I have this blog, and I know for fact I need to tidy my room up, due to fatigue, ADHD, and depression it’s hard to just get up and do it. Cleaning definitely means I need to get rid of some old clothes because I keep telling myself I need a new wardrobe but I have to many clothes I don’t wear. I also suppose I have the shows i watch like The X-Files, Twilight Zone, and others, right? Plus, plenty of hobbies. We’ll see as I’m sure I’ll document things here too. I do have a few sewing projects I want to do as well, such as a cosplay one I’ve been planning since May or June of 2024. My idea is a casual denim jacket inspired by Remy LeBeau A.K.A. Gambit from the X-Men comics, adorned with patches that I would say represent his character, like an ‘Ace of Spade’ card patch, as well as the ‘X’ patch and some pink flames on the arms to represent his powers, I also have some pink varsity letters spelling ‘Gambit’ out on the back, it will al be put on a brown denim jacket. I’m also debating getting some square studs for the shoulders inspired by a peice by artist Ash Pierce. Which has a bit of a punk vibe which is a fashion I am often dressing in myself as I also incorporate the ideology and music into my life.

Along with the jacket, I also have a blanket Idea with my love for Baseball, it involves a powder blue fleece blanket a nod to my favorite variation of the Blue Jays uniform, our current powder blue uniforms, as well as collecting patches for every time I’ve been to a stadium or place of interest, I also have a similar project with enamel pins (Dark blue pin banner with pins from every stadium I’ve been to) but for the patches. I originally planned to get a patch for everytime I went, but because I’m a broke college student I may just go the same idea as the way I’m doing my pin banner, one patch for every stadium, as I also can’t guarantee the size either, eh we’ll see. It may because well… Canada, but trying to find a jays patch is incredibly difficult, although I believe I’ve found one good site, again, well see. 

As always, I’d like to thank you for sticking around and until next time, take it easy.

-Ducky

[juicezone]

Hi hi! Here for rambling :D Babysitter being forced to play make believe and realizing, 'ah shoot, do I regress?...' meanwhile their poor caregiver is watching in the background like 'Do I need to be concerned? I think I need to be concerned' because their game of make believe is just a very much what happens when kids play through their trauma. Anyways just been working more on my own oc's and posting stories on my blog for them and yeah take a little sneak peak of my babies :3

“What are you three doing?” Their game is cut off by a disbelieving voice, three pairs of eyes whipping up to stare at the adult who walked into the room. Cassandra stares back at them, hand on her hip and confusion written all over her face.

“Umm… playin’ house?” May says, sounding less than confident. Lawrence nods- and Tristan… Tristan is pretty sure he wants the floor to swallow him whole.

“Dear Lord… I’m not dealing with this… I can't deal with this...” Cassandra mutters under her breath, not that it helps, she’s still loud enough to be audible. “You kids will be the death of me…”

Tristan can watch in real time as the elder woman gathers herself. He joked along with the others that most of the crew enter what they call ‘mother hen mode’. He’s never been on the receiving end of it. Never realized just how soft her features turn.

“Let’s play a different game for a while, hmm? One that isn't so..." She seems to struggle to find the right words. "I just don't think it's a good idea anymore.”

And where he’s fully expecting her to turn, ask for him to maybe help carry the other regressor, clean up the toys, something, even just to leave now that she's here- instead Cassandra's face softens, humming questionably as though to say ‘now how do you fit into this…’

The problem is, he doesn’t. He doesn’t regress, doesn’t need to, doesn’t want to. He’s no caregiver either, terrible with kids that aren’t his sister. There is no reason to be here and no reason that he isn’t saying anything. No reason as to why his heart is beating erratically, no reason why he feels so exposed.

And because his brain decides to betray him further, his first instinct is to tip his head forward, hide his face behind his bangs and the stuffed animal in his lap, not helping his case at all.

“I was forced against my will to be here.” He mutters, because maybe if he could just explain-

“Of course.” Cassandra says not missing a beat. Nodding seriously in a way you might to appease a child.

It's infuriating, because it's wrong, and it makes him feel, feel... small. He doesn't know if he wants her to keep being kind or to quit acting like he's included as one of her kiddos.

okay this was long- I am sorry >///< (hides away now)

NO DONT BE SORRY I LOVE YOUR WRITING AND IM SO EXCITED TO BE SEEING MORE AND HEARING MORE ABT YOUR OCS!!!!

literally always feel free to be like tl i posted a story abt my ocs or i posted an art of my ocs like in my dms and ill zoom over to find it as soon as i see it and this honestly goes for anyone who wants to share something idk i just. i rlly genuinely love seeing ppls creations and ocs (fandom ones count too idm if idk the fandom)

OKAY BUT

ive said it b4 i think one of my fav things abt ur writing is how quick and easy it makes it to grasp the context of the story, even just from a blurb, and how you write out the emotions with descrptions that its like. idk. its so understandable and clear cut to me at least, esp that last part of Not Knowing what you want

thank you so much for sharing mayliz i love it <:)

[ell-does-stuff]

‼️‼️MORE SPOILERS‼️‼️

HERES THE REBLOG I PROMISED, TIME TO YAP AGAIN

something's going on with evermore and gregor i feel... esp evermore, he had rick pull over specifically to talk to gregor and wants to meet again "hopefully soon." he just also seems veeerrryyy sketchy to me in general so hmmm??? whats going on here?????

THEIR COSTUMES GOT FLIPPED JFBDDUJDBDHCBSHDBF

ALSO PUMP'S LITTLE MISSING TOOTH!!!! AND TWO TEETH SHOWING UP ON SKID WEARING THE MASK

STTTRRRREEEEEEBBBBBBEEEERRRRRRRRRRJFJDJHEJCBDBEBCJHEBRBFBX D DJD EBXJBEBXHX SJCJS R JXJEIWJRBRNSK SJDHE RJJEBRBEBDBEBENBDBDJBR

HES ALIVEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!;(;+! MY BOYYYYYYYY!!!!;(!!!+;++;! HE LIVEDDDDDDDDDD!!!(!;(!;++;!!!++!!++!!!

IM SO HAPPYYYYYYY IVE NEVER BEEN THIS HAPPY OVER SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS IN THE BACKGROUND FOR 2 SECONDS YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

JOHN WITH THE PICTURE OF HIS DAUGHTER WAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭 AND HIM AFTER TO SKID AND PUMP GOING "...your parents love you, kids. they love you no matter what." HSHDBEHDB I CANT DO THIS MANNNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

ZACH HADEL JUMPSCARE WTFFFFFF

MR PSYCHICPEBBLES GET TF OUT OF HERE WE WERE HAVING AN EMOTIONAL MOMENT AHHAHAHAHAHHA

"WE'RE HAVING AN EXORCISM!!! :DDDD"

god i love these kids

MOLOCH HAS LEGS‼️‼️‼️‼️

he looks so god damn badass holy shit

moloch can turn into people he killed??!?!?!? (or maybe can just turn into people in general??!?!?!)

love pump's casual little "he didn't" to skid saying moloch escaped

and skid's all TF YOU MEAN NUH UH

"im gonna be a police officer." "I NEED TO HAVE A GUN LEGALLY." shes so real for this

also patty has freckles!!!!!!!!!!!! i already thought she was really pretty but she's even prettier with them teehee

HOBOMEN ARE BACK WOOOO

i miss my tankmen fixation honestly i should rewatch all the episodes again sometime

and evermore, WHY DO YOU NEED TO DESTROY A BUILDING???!?!? is it the cult building??!?!! maybe??!?!?!? WHAT IS UP WITH YOU.

rick continues to be one of my favorite characters ever

"too bright." as a demon is on his windshield "im not gonna clean this, i quit." as said demon just wrecked the limo he was in. god i love him, hes so great.

im imagining hatzgang having war flashbacks from what happened in ep 2 during this (even if they don't really remember it)

ignacio fucking WHIPPING OUT A GUN AND SHOOTING MOLOCH is so real of him, iconic as hell

"fucking kids........" someone please help my man he is not well 😭

DAMN. i don't really have anything to say, them being possessed just looks fucking cool HAHAHAH

ACTUALLY WAIT I DO HAVE A THING TO SAY... its like their drawing in ep 4 came to life! they've probably been begging for this to happen LOL

moloch is dead :((((

RIP probably the most badass spooky month villain 🫡🫡🫡

THEY'RE SO SAD ABOUT HIM DYING MANNNNN THESE POOR KIDS

"you are an irresponsible mother" DONT YOU DARE SAY THAT. SHE IS THE BEST MOM IN FICTION EVER. SHE WAS GOING THROUGH A TON OF STUFF MANNNNN LEAVE HER ALONEEEEEEEE!!!! >:(((((((

MANNNNNNN THIS PARTTTTTTTTTTTT RAAHHHHHHH ITS SO COOL!!!!!!!! THE CULTISTS.... EYES..... I WANNA KNOW MORE MANNNN I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING!!!

pump cheering up after being sad from moloch's death with the eldritch being plushie..... mr wonder saying their parents got it even though he bought it just to make him happy....... susie saying "what's the point if they're not here"...........NO IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE.

I SWEAARRRRRRR IM NOT CRYYYUJNGGG DJDB EBDBD XJ DJ W E WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ERM...... ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!

OOGA BOOGA GENUINELY FUCKING SCARED ME THIS TIME. i was just all "woahhh hey they put her in the credits art!!" AND THEN..... MAN.

THE THIEVES??!?!?!???!?!!? AND CANDY DEALER??!?!??!!?!!?!! ARE THEY IN THE CULT??!??????????!??!??!???! I HAVE SO MANY FUCKING QUESTIONS LIKE HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT THIS IS INSANE......... ANSWERS. IMMEDIATELY. PLEASEE I AM BEGGING GRRRRRJRJFJFJDHF

this is exactly how i was with the last episode MANNNN we are so back

WELL THAT'S EVERYTHING I GOTTA SAY... actually that might be a lie i always got more shit to yap about but HOPE YOU LIKED MY RAMBLINGS THIS TIME OK BYEEEEE‼️‼️‼️

MAKING A BIG OL POST OF EVERYTHING I GOTTA SAY ABOUT THE NEW SPOOKY MONTH BECAUSE HOLY SHITTTT THERES A LOT

‼️‼️SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY‼️‼️

THE THIEVES ARE BACK WOOOOOOOO!! IVE MISSED THEM SM

also eepy lila

while gathering images for this ive noticed that the "pile of dexter" as im calling it is staring at the thieves the whole time they're in the attic (specifically fat thief)

is he somehow still alive???? just possessing a pile of dead doll????????

so cool to see the big ass spider get some actual relevance!! def gonna be important next episode for sure

ROSS'S DAD!!!!!!!!

also jaune is so pretty with her hair down like omggg... love to see her being such a supportive friend to lila as well

"are you throwing away dad's stuff mom?" WAAAAAA MY POOR BABYYY IM GONNA CRYYY

HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN

theyre so me

DEXTERRRRJRJRJRHSHSHDBBDBSB!!+!!!!!(!!

"this cat looks sick im taking it to the vet" BULLSHIT i know what you are. 👁️👁️

DEXTER'S MOM!?!?????!?!?!?!?!!!??? i had no idea she would ever show up like wow i did not expect to see her at all

poor little babies and their lack of parents

ok sorry ik im joking here but MAN this scene made me feel bad 😭😭😭

THE FUCK.

pretty sure this dude is the same guy as the "costume bob" in the last episode??? i felt bad for him last time but here he seems like kind of a pathetic and weird ass man ngl lol

RADFORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!(!!(;+;!;(;;(;??;(;;!!(+!!++!(++!

HES SUCH A GOD DAMN SILLY NERD MAN LIKEEEEE "he even sounds like he does in the movies!!!!!!" BROOOO I LOVE HIMMMMMMMMMM DJJDGWHDHSHFH

he is EXACTLY how i pictured he would be!! my brain is not gonna shut up about him for the next few days i just know it HAHAHAH

also my caramelpopcorn (thats their ship name right?? or was it candycorn??? i forgor lol) heart is completely full, i loved actually seeing him and kevin canonically interact, they are perfect <3

HES IN THE CANDY CLUB OUTFIRTBD RJSHNF EBDJFBSBDJC EJDUFBEBW DKXN SCUEBFNFBRJSJCJCHDB!!!!(!!!!!;+;(;!!(+!!

"im... uh... like an uncle!!" "i just wanna help the children..." BROO??? feeling kinda bad for frank rn, these are like the only kids he genuinely cares about and hes being turned away from em

ik hes a shady guy but STILL

GREGOR LOOKS SO GOOFY DOING THE DANCE JDBDHSHFHD LIKE WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THATTTTT

also i made this gif myself yall better like it

aaaaaaaaaand dexter's mom is dead.

like son like mother i guess 💀

love how ignacio's door has small little boards on it from when they bashed it with a hammer HAHAHHA

also, looking at the inside of ignacio's house, is that john's family on the little table there???

one of the images in the arg gives a better look at this, but i had no idea it was in IGNACIO'S HOUSE of all places. why does he have that??? and right by the gun too.... what is this silly cult man planning......

(the arg image in question if yall were wondering)

"we understand you" "we're here for you dude" "thank you guys, i just wish things weren't so..." HATZGANG FRIENDSHIP WAAAAA!!!!!

also ROY HAS BEEN THROUGH SHIT MY POOR GUYYYY i wanna hug him mannnn 🥺

IMAGE LIMIT IS KILLING ME SO IM GONNA REBLOG THIS WITH MORE SHIT TO SAY BECAUSE I AM NOT DONE MANNN‼️‼️‼️‼️

[stressedlawsecretary]

Today's Focus

05.10.24 - Outfit ft the new shirt I got at the concert on Tuesday. It's gloomier than I would like; I hope the rain is more scattered than it has been. I'm sick of every weekend being rainy and all the sunny warm days being when I'm stuck in my office. I am going to my friend's for lunch today though so that's something to look forward to.

Work - I have to book a hotel and flight for my lawyers to travel for a CLE, and I just got the hotel booking information. I did manage to get CSB's new case into NYM in its entirety yesterday, and I have to make up the physical file, but I'm remote working so that one has to wait until Monday. No rush there though; CSB is pretty certain the matter will be closed in a couple of weeks anyway considering where it's at.

Background Noise - Okay, while I am working remotely, because dad is gone I'm not looking at the DVR in quite the same way. I will have to watch some stuff saved back on it, so it doesn't get too full while he's gone, but I don't watch things the same way when dad's not here. So I should be able to get more off in a shorter time, and watch more YT today than I'm used to. Which is good because the Watch Later is getting a little full again and I'm going to focus on just binging videos off of that.

Yesterday I did watch like 15 videos and I'm pretty proud of that because a couple of them were super long - like a hr and a half long.

Study - It's Friday, so it's Wikipedia day. I actually think I'll have the time and focus to read a bunch of them today so fingers crossed and here's hoping.

Yesterday got sidetracked because I had to fight with NYM for CSB's new case, along with mailing a couple of items for him and working on all that travel stuff I came back to. So what I did do was read five random articles (incld press releases), almost a dozen (11) articles on the Post Office Horizon scandal, and four pages of one of the books I picked up.

Extras - Friday I clean out the catbox and prep it for the weekend; I have some dishes to take care of as well before I go visit a friend for lunch. I have to make a trip out for some vitamins, but then I can make my frozen garlic chicken skillet and settle down for the last three episodes of Carranger; we'll do The Tick after, and Garo over the weekend before starting Kamen Rider Build next week. There's also some YT videos I have to watch with hunny, whenever we're not playing Hades II or Pokemon Scarlet & Violet. Mini-essay done; I have several other things I think I can tackle in terms of writing since dad isn't around to distract me.

[apirateslifefor--smee]

Sunday, November 12 -- Background NPC: Write about a moment of your character’s life from the perspective of an NPC character. 

Time For Tea | Mary

Warnings for: xenophobia

Mr. Arnold didn’t invite street rats ‘round for tea because he wanted to impress them. Or maybe he did, but not in the same way he wanted to impress the bankers and businessmen whom I typically served. It was about putting them in their place, impressing upon them his vast power and resources to crush them if they stepped a toe out of line. He never said this, but we all knew it. 

Still, I was to treat them like any other honored guest. That much was communicated to us, quite directly, by Mrs. Arnold. 

Samuel was small and pudgy, eternally ruddy-cheeked as though he was permanently in a state of stepping in from the cold. He looked familiar, though I couldn’t initially place why. I didn’t ask, anyway— I wasn’t supposed to make idle chatter with the guests. I took his (ill-fitting) coat and disappeared to the behind-the-curtains places staff are supposed to disappear.

I always found these teatimes odd, the ones with youths not much older than I, whom I might have lived and worked alongside if certain events in our lives had gone differently. And sometimes I wondered if that was part of the point. To remind us of our own place, too.

Mrs. Barton piled my tray high with scones just as I finished making the tea, hardly giving me a second look. I knew she didn’t like me. I wondered if it had to do with the fact that I had lied about my age for this job, but I suspected it had more to do with my accent, with the fact that she probably believed my family was here to take jobs away from people who had been here longer. I’d hoped she might see something in me the way Mr. Arnold sees something in the young men he takes under his wing, but at this point I think she refuses even to look.

It was alright. Every week, I collected my carefully-printed check and took it to the bank, and there would be just a bit of money left after all the family’s expenses that I told myself I could one day use for my education. Maybe.

But it was hard not to feel jealous as I round the corner, overhearing Mr. Arnold lecturing Samuel on politics and philosophy.

Of course, it was all horribly boring. But it was a small price to pay. I could already see it— just a few years of coming ‘round for tea and Samuel would be reinvented, in jackets that actually fit him and a refined manner of speaking that made people believe he was born in this part of London and raised at a posh public school in the country. Not that he was—

Well, bloody hell. Now I knew where I had seen Samuel before. Sam, as I’d known him then. I could see it on his face, too, that he knew where he’d seen me before, too. 

I kept my expression frozen, though, as I set the tray down on the table. And Sam rearranged his expression to a neutral one just as quickly. Mr. Arnold thanked me, and I scurried away to my next task. It was all a carefully-choreographed dance: not just the things Mr. Arnold and his company did to impress one another, but my list of duties as well.

The dance continued— topping up the tea and scones, helping Mrs. Barton with the cleaning, tending to the fire, standing by in case I was needed for anything. Eventually, Mr. Arnold instructed me, as he often did, to show our guest to the washroom.

It was only when we had made it to the hallway that Sam finally spoke to me, his eyes wide with surprise. “Mary,” he breathed. “How did you- what are the chances- how are you?”

“Sam,” I replied bluntly, under my breath. “Don't do this. I know from this point forward how this is going to go. You’re going to go back in there and pretend you’ve got no idea who I am-”

“Well-”

“You don’t have to defend yourself. I wasn’t expecting otherwise.”

He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again.

“Don’t make promises we both know you won’t keep. We’re both trying to make our own way. I don’t want your help, or your pity, or any of that.” I knew better than that, at this point. “But send Stefan my best, alright? If you still talk to him.”

I could tell from the look on his face that he didn’t.

“This is where I leave you,” I added, arriving at the washroom. “Goodbye, Sam.”

It wasn’t, and yet it was. I would continue to see Sam for years after, as his bond with Mr. Arnold grew stronger. And then he was off to Eton and I remained in London, still nursing my small pile of savings. That, nobody could take from me. 

He forgot about me, I’m sure. I forgot about him, too, for the most part. But one weekend I took my grandchildren to the magical town where a fall festival was happening and saw a ruddy-cheeked man instructing a younger person at a game of darts, and I had the oddest feeling that I’d seen a ghost. Or perhaps it was just someone else. These old men in their fine coats and polished speech tend to blend together, don’t they?