#ANYWAY...FEELS AHEAD?
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bumbleboa · 1 day ago
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oh what a joy it is to get to grow old
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ducktracy · 6 months ago
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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cutiesigh · 7 months ago
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❤️🖤🩷
Wuthering Waves has taken over all of my free time recently, so here's a sketch of Scar!Ren I originally shared in da 14DWY Discord!!
#14 days with you#to be tagged later#Sometimes a team is just Sephiroth; some random flower girl; and a dragoon from FFXIV#Like....... Look me in my eyes and tell me that one of Jiyan's abilities isn't just stardiver /silly#Anyways!! Sharing dis on my main only because it's just a sketch and doesn't feel ''official'' enough for da 14DWY blog#If I come back to this piece + retouch/put more effort into it maybe I'll reupload it there instead#But ya!! Any inconsistencies in Scar's outfit is because I was too busy staring at Taoqi <3#There was also absolutely no rhyme or reason as to why I drew Ren as Scar specifically too—#—Other than the fact that he WOULD rock da onigiri strip (RIP T_T) /ij /silly#Plus I was going to draw [REDACTED] as (WUWA SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!) Geshu but?? Babes I don't think the timeline works out??#I really saw the marks in the same spot and was like “oh!! they're the same person :3” LIKE GIRL NO?? This is what happens when you skip cs#Geshu is still my number 1 next to Taoqi though (in terms of design) <3 I have a type teehee#Mayhaps I will draw [REDACTED] after all...... (It's currently 3pm and I'm nowhere near my tablet)#Also also!! A treat for those who've read this far: Day 3.5 will be made public very soon!! It's pride month n I wanna celebrate—#—With everyone's fave demi/pansexual enby (who sometimes does a bit of stalking) (as a treat) (he's a yandere)#Violet's birthday is also June 10!! Early birthday gift!! Yippeee!!#Ok I'll shuddup now <3
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thirteenducks · 1 year ago
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feverish
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(wriothesley x wife!reader) [sfw]
༻❁༺ content: fem!reader (reader is referred to by ‘wife’ and "she/her"), established relationship, marriage, reader has hair long enough to reach neck
༻❁༺ word count: ~1.5k
༻❁༺ tags: sickfic, banter while sick, this is just wrio taking care of you and being a butt while doing it, feat. sigewinne who does not get paid enough for this, if you are sick and reading this rn im so sorry and i hope you get well soon, coldsink wrio x heatsource wife agenda
༻❁༺ author’s note: my friend @mmmairon is sick and i am in another country and cannot help so i'm sending wrio on my behalf. pls enjoy especially if you don't feel well right now :(
After a restless night, Wriothesley is thrilled to hear that you're awake now. He wastes no time in rushing to your side.
Wriothesley’s pen scratches unpleasantly against a disciplinary notice, its point threatening to carve into the wood of the desk beneath. The owner mutters darkly under his breath as he completes a signature on the offending paper and slides it to his left. Immediately, another takes its place from the stack on his right.
For two hours, nothing else has broken the quiet of the Duke’s office. Two hours too long, by Wriothesley’s measure. He glances at the clock, hand continuing to sign his name by sheer muscle memory.
Are you getting any rest? Did the chamomile from your tea an hour ago help at all, or are the throes of fever keeping you awake? Does he have the right ingredients to make you beef stew? Preoccupied, he writes “soup” on the signature line of a prisoner release form by mistake.
He sighs, pinching the crooked bridge of his nose between his fingers. They’re as cold as ever. He misses the warmth of yours unspeakably.
The next thirty minutes pass like an eternity. Surely, Sigewinne would be at his side in an instant if you were awake. His presence there now would only serve to wake you from much-needed rest and defer his backlog of paperwork even more. Neither of these points keeps him from staring the clock down like he’s in the ring again.
Suddenly, there’s a quiet knock on his door and Wriothesley snaps to attention, nearly knocking over an inkwell in his haste. Sigewinne enters without his bidding, an unreadable expression on her kind face. She doesn’t wait for his question before she answers it.
“Yes, the tea put her to sleep, and yes, she’s awake now.”
His features relax in a moment, the furrow in his brow smoothing.
“I’m afraid she’s not any better than she was this morning, however. I would have really liked to see her fever come down by now...” The Melusine trails off, her small hand on her chin and a pout on her face. “The chill probably isn’t doing her much good, either.”
Her boss, however, is already halfway downstairs, pulling his coat on as he takes the steps two at a time. Sigewinne sighs as she turns to follow him at a much slower pace. So predictable when his wife is involved.
In contrast to the speed at which he crosses the fortress to your shared living quarters, Wriothesley’s steps are soft as he nears your bedroom door.
“Sweetheart? Are you up?”
A weak cough answers him. He’s by the bedside in a moment, kneeling and pushing aside the curtain that hides you from him. Your eyes squint a bit as the sickly light of the fortress filters in, and his hand moves up to shield your face as he appears in your field of vision.
Despite the red ringing your eyes and nose and the congestion in your breathing, you smile up at him and his heart almost jumps out of his chest.
“Hi, darling.”
The side of his mouth quirks up. “Hi. Feeling any better?”
You shake your head slightly, your hair fanning out on the pillow beneath you. He silently gathers it in one hand and moves it away from your neck as he waits for you to continue. The brush of his cool hand against your flushed skin feels incredible and you bring your hand to rest on his, a silent entreaty to keep it there.
“Sigewinne says I’m in the worst of it now and that from here-” you stop to cough, Wriothesley’s eyes raking over your frame as it shakes with the effort. “-from here it should be uphill. As long as I can rest up today.”
He pushes the hair back from your forehead with his other hand, stroking it absentmindedly. “Well, we’ll have to stick it out until tomorrow then, huh?” The grin he shoots you, all teeth, does more for you than you think any of the medicine on your bedside table has.
That’s why you’re as surprised as he is when the tears start to roll down your cheeks. You hadn’t even known they were there until now, but suddenly it’s so much harder to breathe than it was and Wriothesley is a swimming blur in front of you. The shooting pain in your head, dulled to an ache until now, comes back in full force as your body curls in on itself and your temple meets your husband’s shoulder.
You don’t know if you’re crying from the headache, from exhaustion, or from something else, and your mind is too foggy to care. All you can do is be held as his arms come to rest firmly around you and he pulls you to him, murmuring words of comfort.
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry... I wish I could do more.” Your hands grip his collar a little tighter as you sob into the juncture of his neck and shoulder. “I know, love. You’ll feel better soon, I promise. Sigewinne and I are gonna take care of everything, okay?”
There’s an edge of concern to his voice that you can hear even through the haze of sickness. You hate it. It’s likely just the seasonal flu; half the Fortress has had it at some point this winter. The thought of how much you were making him worry over something so small as this...
“I know what you’re thinking. Stop it,” Wriothesley gently reprimands, his cool fingers stroking your forehead again. You can feel the cold metal of his wedding ring against the heated skin. “You’re not being a baby about anything. You hear me?”
Your silence speaks volumes. He laughs a little, the sound loud in the silence of your bedroom. “I know you well, don’t I?”
It takes a while for your tears to completely subside. When you’re finished sniffling against his collar, he props you up against the headboard with pillows behind your back. You’re more congested than ever, something your husband has the nerve to laugh at as he hands you tissues, but there’s no unkindness in his tone.
He disappears into the kitchen for a few minutes as you doze, exhausted from the effort of crying for so long. When he eases the door open again, he’s carrying a tray with a teacup and pot (of course) and a bowl of something that smells warm and comforting.
“Hmm. Excellent room service this place has. The waiter is a little scruffy, though,” you say as Wriothesley places it on your lap, tucking in the covers around you.
He gives you a fake look of injury. “How dare you, ma’am. I’ll have you know I’m too worried about my wife to shave, who I’m afraid is deathly ill,” he sighs, stroking the stubble on his jaw. He spoons soup into your mouth before you can retort, stifling a smile.
Once you’ve drained half the soup, Wriothesley seems satisfied. He removes the tray from your lap and takes your hand, bringing it to his own forehead.
“Oh, no. How awful.” He shoots you a glance. “It appears the Duke of the Fortress has come down with something.”
You raise an eyebrow. His forehead is as cool as the rest of him is. “Really.”
“Oh, yes,” he says, flopping onto your lap. “It looks like he’ll be out of the office for the rest of the day.”
You laugh, wincing when it makes your head throb. “The Duke sounds like a slacker, if you ask me.”
“Well, everyone knows that,” Wriothesley murmurs, burying his face into your thigh. “They’ll have to tell my boss about it.” You feel him grin against your leg.
You sigh, feigning exasperation. “What a shame. I was just about to ask him to dinner, too.”
Wriothesley has migrated to his side of the bed by now and is nestling into your side with the stubbornness of a dog. “Don’t worry, I hear he’s a messy eater. Absolute carnivore.”
Your hands come to rest on his head, the soft grey strands tickling your palms. “You know you’re going to get sick, right? I’m highly contagious.”
No answer.
“You’re the head of the Fortress, Wrio. If you get laid up, Sigewinne might put a bounty out on you. She seems like the type.”
Your husband murmurs into your side, already half-asleep. “She’ll have to catch me first.”
Despite your many blankets and the body next to you, a sudden chill runs through you and you stiffen. He feels it, arms tightening around your waist.
“Fever pills are on the bedside in the white bottle. Water is next to it.”
You smile. “Thank you, darling.” He hums in response.
A few days later, you’re well enough to leave your room again. Sigewinne would be thrilled, if not for your husband, who looks more smug than any sick man has a right to be.
He sniffles, burrowing into your sheets again as the Melusine glares daggers at him. “I’ll be fine. My wife loves me and I have leftover soup in the fridge. What else does a man need?”
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tenderjock · 9 days ago
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I’m with you, my love The lights shining through on you Yes, I’m with you, my love It’s the morning and just we two
#spike btvs#spuffy#spuffyedit#btvs#btvsedit#buffy the vampire slayer#it's terribly simple#you know you want to dance#injuries cw#bites and chews and gnaws on anyone who says buffy didnt love spike. BITES and CHEWS and GNAWS on them.#like is that not the whole point? of him? of his entire character arc? of his burning to ash as he breaks the sunnydale high school#(AKA buffy's personal cage within the slayer's cage that was sunnydale itself AKA the place where he and buffy first ever fought#and he nearly killed her for the very first time but was foiled by the immense love someone felt for her) as he breaks that place to rubble#in a way also very reminiscent of the first time they slept together and Literally Fucked A Building Down. anyway as he's doing ALL OF THAT#like sure she doesnt HAVE to love him she doesnt owe him anything and even if she did love isnt about obligation. but when buffy says#that she loves him in that scene. theres nothing to indicate that she doesnt feel it. that she isnt telling the truth.#idk man. people take a man who is dying telling someone not to love him as the gospel truth when i feel like its more ... like maybe he's#making a misguided effort to be kind? he's telling her ''dont get too hung up on the vampire thats about to catch on fire#and get your pretty ass out of here while you still can please.''#whatever. WHATEVER. in the perfect btvs that lives in my head most of ats isnt canon but esp the part where spike comes back and doesnt#immediately 1. ASK IF DAWN WAS OKAY 2. upon being told by angel that he cant be put in touch with buffy because [mumbles] misogyny?#go ahead and engage in a flirt campaign at harmony until she breaks down and calls buffy for him. those would be like the FIRST TWO THINGS#that spike did after he came back to unlife. first two things frfr#i'm gonna end the tag rant there. hmm
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solarisfortuneia · 10 months ago
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— 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐬.
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and the smell of camphor dancing in the wind.
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✦ info: he didn't know he'd lose you so soon. (come back, please. even if it is just for five more minutes.)
✦ featuring: alhaitham.
✦ warnings: angst, character death (reader), heartache, 1.2k words, somewhat proof-read.
✦ notes: i cried so goddamn hard writing this. why is my first work after hiatus pain. why did i pick up the angst wip. but!! i'm writing again, so that's good. (more notes at the end.)
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he didn’t know that it was your last day together. 
he didn’t know that the smile you gave him that afternoon, your eyes sparkling like sunlight upon the serene waves of the ocean, would be the last he’d ever see. that the playful light in your gaze would fade so very soon, slipping through his fingers like sand.
he didn’t know that last night would be the last time he held you close while you drifted off to sleep. he didn’t know that today would be the last time he’d wake up with you.
he didn’t think he’d lose you like this. 
he didn’t think he wouldn’t be able to save you from that blow. 
“please, please,”  he begs, both to you and to whatever force that is just barely holding you together. “just stay with me for five more minutes, please. until i can get you somewhere.” 
the rain soaks him to the bone, clothes and hair sticking to his skin. your lips stay motionless, eyes shut.
“wake up, please,”  he bargains. “you can have all the five minutes of extra sleep you want later, i promise. just—”  his vision blurs, and something shines on the ground before it is gone, swallowed by damp earth, lost amidst drops of falling rain. 
desperately, he tears off parts of his traveling cloak to staunch the bleeding. deep inside, he knows it is futile. he knows your wound is too great. he knows what lies ahead. but he cannot help but press the cloths to your wound and pray. 
please, please tell me it’ll be okay. 
please stay with me, beloved. i’ll read you all the books in the world. i’ll sleep in with you everyday, even if we end up whiling away our time. 
please. stay. stay with me. i can’t lose you yet.  
“— just wake up, beloved.” 
by some miracle, your eye flutters. just a bit. just enough to set hope ablaze, just enough for the grip on his heart to loosen a tiny bit. he buries his face in your shoulder, resting his head against your neck, uncaring of the blood that stains his clothes. your blood. on his clothes. his hands. everywhere. 
no. no. this can’t be happening.
he feels you strain beneath him, your unwounded arm gently, weakly brushing his back. he jolts upright, eyes trained on your face. you send a frail smile his way. he clasps your face softly as you nuzzle into his palm.
“alhaitham—” 
his full name. archons, how long has it been since you called him that?  
“— take good care of yourself, okay?” you tell him, chest heaving, your fingertips touching a tear on his cheeks. “i love you. so much.” 
those are the last words he hears fall from your lips. he presses a kiss to your forehead, to your eyelids, and to your cheeks and to your lips, over and over and over until he feels your breath slow, hoping they’ll say what he knows he cannot manage to choke out.
i love you. 
he stays there next to you for who knows how long, holding you until the rain slows and a faint rainbow smiles in the sky.
until he can’t smell camphor anymore.
every person has their curiosities. 
they’re just the little traits that set them apart from others, the things that make them tick just a little bit differently, the things that make them, them.
for instance, someone may be obsessed with collecting tiny furniture, while another eats the crusts off their sandwich before actually consuming it. someone may have an affinity for the most niche aspects of linguistics, while another can accurately predict the next raindrop that slides down a window pane.
after all, no two people are exactly alike, are they?
alhaitham knows he’s got his fair share of these curiosities himself. his aversion to soup and all things that resemble it, to name one. and with you, he’d noticed two things. 
number one: the scent of camphor that seems to linger on every inch of your person. 
he’d caught whiff of it almost immediately the first time you met. you were but one of his juniors in the akademiya, filled with bright-eyed curiosity and anxiety to match. you had tripped over a stair and bumped into his table in the library, bringing the mountain of books in your arms crashing down.
and with subsequent coincidental meetings, he learnt that the subtle scent of camphor dancing in the air meant you weren’t far away. 
you were, unfortunately, one of the poor souls who seemed to be cursed with constantly recurring minor illnesses, and almost always walked about with a stuffy nose. and so, you always carried a small disc of camphor in a handkerchief, as well as in your pocket.
you swore up and down, left, right and center that sniffing the vapors helped make breathing easier.
‘it’s my grandmother’s remedy, alhaitham! camphor always works wonders. well, that and eucalyptus oil.”
alhaitham may not know the validity of your claim or the legitimacy of the cure, but he knew to never, ever question a grandmother’s remedy. that, and he’d much rather refrain from starting a back-and-forth about something so small.
and number two: your neverending pleas of different variations of ‘just five more minutes!’ 
“five more minutes, ‘haitham. please.” you’d whine grumpily when he woke you up to start your day. “let me sleep in for five more minutes.” 
“five more minutes, habibi,” you’d ask when he put down the story you’d requested he read out to you before bedtime. “read me the part where she finds the music box?”
“five more minutes, baby,” is what you’d tell him when he asks how much longer you’d take getting ready. “you can’t rush perfection!”
those five more minutes were never five minutes long. 
but he’d always, always indulged you and those pleading eyes of yours. as stoic as he appeared to be, you lived in his heart. of course he could never deny you anything under the sun.
alhaitham remembers that silly little song you sang over and over, the one you’d learnt from a kid in the bazaar. he’d taken you to see one of nilou’s performances, and, friendly soul that you were, you’d struck up a conversation with some of the eager audience members before the play. 
“oh, how i wish i was a bird flying free,
i’d see the world, every mountain and every sea!
oh, how i wish i was a cloud in the sky,
wouldn’t you like to wave to me as i pass by?”
you’d hum that rhyme on every idle afternoon.
loss is inevitable. he knows that, with how logical and rational and straightforward he is. he’d lost his parents, but he was far too young to remember. he’d lost his grandmother, but she passed in her sleep of old age, serene and wise.
but you? he didn’t think you’d leave him this soon. a singular wish sits in his soul, making its home in his bones. 
a wish that you’d come back, somehow. 
he wishes you gave him five more minutes, just as he always did.  but he knows that you could’ve given him five more hours, five more days, five more years and five more decades and it would still not be enough time spent with you. 
a blue feathered bird comes to perch on his shoulder, interrupting his musings just as he raises his face to the sky. he sees the heart shaped cloud that floats idly above sumeru city.
 he thinks of the rhyme again, and something in him tells him to wave. and so he does. a scent so familiar lingers, faintly brushing his nose in the wind that picks up.
“alhaitham, it's time to go.”  kaveh calls his name softly.
 alhaitham doesn't move. “five more minutes,”  he says, echoing your favorite phrase. “i smell camphor in the breeze.” 
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✦ extra notes: my alhaitham characterization for this fic stems from how i believe that when alhaitham is attached, he's attached. so i focused more on that, and less of all that rationality and whatnot. this one loves deeply, yk?
that camphor thing is a real grandma remedy in our household (my mom would tie some in a hanky and put some under my pillow and still to this day reminds me to do it when i'm sick) which is what originally sparked the idea for this
when i'd initially started this wip, i didn't expect it go this way. usually i write with my brain, but i think i wrote this one with my fingers working faster than i can think hsjhsj so sorry if it's kinda out of place lmao but yk what? i'm happy with it still even though i feel like it doesn't have my usual quality.
thanks for reading.
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joleneghoul · 4 months ago
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Time will change you, We all outgrow our roots.
SURPRISE I've been thinking about Rip again, jk that's not surprising. anyways text is Rips inner thoughts from Time Masters #8. sort of.
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idontmindifuforgetme · 4 months ago
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I complain about wanting male attention bc of my daddy issues and then when I get perceived in any sort of way by a man I’m like I’ve been doubly victimized …. This is the worst, most blasphemous thing to have ever happened to me ……. The nerve on you to think you can speak to me …………….
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buttercupshands · 7 months ago
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rewatched Kurogiri's holiday story from ultra impact (not related to sketch at all)
(but it did inspire me)
on another note
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finally!!
#fanart#sketch#my art#bnha#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#kurogiri#I cried a bit while playing it I missed the classic LoV I missed Kurogiri WITH the LoV it's been so long :(#and it feels like last chapter (423 atm) broke the seal of sketching them as anything but something static#it took me two or so days to just understand that Kurogiri is... yeah#I can't believe it took Horikoshi so long to bring him back but as I said and will say it again I glad it happened at all#after some thought I just want to sit with the chapters#anyway getting the preordered book was so much fun#it was full of LoV from Toga and Dabi talking about her house to Tenko being upset over being told that he doesn't have friends#and everything in-between basically only Compress left to join in the next volume#I think????#I actually want to get another one already they're so goodddd#and the translation sounds pretty good but I checked some pages not the whole book it'll be boring#it's actually so weird to think that I started a goal of reading the whole series ad it was now officially coming out like this back in 201#and now it's 2024 and the translation is pretty much ahead of anime and maybe it'll be faster than viz volumes too#since it's 2 in 1 basically - I think it's really great since I save some money but get LoV chapters every time#because they appear every 2 books at the start of the series and back then it was hard for me to get them#but I felt content seeing all the books that I bought when I was visiting family for holidays this month because there are so many of them#and I don't need any wi-fi or internet in general to read them back to back now with an addictional volume#they have some mistakes but I don't mind them it feels good to just hold all of them (and a bit heavy after like 8 books) and now it's 18
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meamiki · 7 months ago
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5% of a color headcanon.... two versions since b&w emphasizes the dagger more i think but i still like the warm tones ASFSADA
i am not biased towards rainbow daggers whatsoever i promise (lie)
((also friend is streaming now and im there too!! bit more info linked here, its rated mature tho))
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#i think tumblr is chewing on this ah well#its more of a weapon color headcanon than anything else tbh SAFASDA#but its very funny in my mind to refer to this as#insert percent amount of color headcanon here ASDASFA#i do not have many color headcanons tbh???#overall i would say i have like 1.15(ish) color headcanons that are solid in my brain across the cast???#the rainbow dagger has been in my minds eye for a long time#um SPOILERISH talk ahead in tag talk so be warned#i am serious!! turn back now if u dont want SPOILERS!!!#can u imagine if siffrins parents had lovingly crafted that white cloak and helped him pick out the pure black fit when younger#so they could be fashionably black and white like if things were in color or something#but then the first thing siffrin picks out on their own terms is literally the most colorful thing imaginable for the dagger#i do not know if that makes much sense but yeah#it is fun in my minds eye ASDAFA#actually is it ever mentioned where siffrin got the dagger??#was it also passed down????#ik the cloak was for sure from his family#and the pure black fit underneath is up in the air i think#tho if it was a first pass pick from parents#and he continued to pick it again and again after they got older subconsciously or not might be fun to think about#also do not mind the art style shift it might happen again LMAO#probably sparingly tho? who knows!!!#should i link stream in this post??? i dont know???#i feel a lil bad if it isnt related?????#oh well im doing it anyway because friendship :]#honestly did not think i would also have anything to post today but uh oops sorta just happened and it lined up so ASFASDA#anyway tag talk over stream time WOOO and i think i hit tag limit LMAO
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neproxrezi · 1 year ago
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someone else could write it better than me but i love how the fucked up nasty shit you can make harry do/say/be in disco elysium isn't just like, random stuff caused simply by the player having free will and control over him but they're parts of who he is and who he has been
you're not a tabula rasa. you're a sudden shock of blank pages in a big, aged, damaged book and sometimes the paper you're trying to write a better man on is torn and you see something through the gaps nobody needed to see ever again. and it's just there now again, back to the surface
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robynostornwyn · 1 month ago
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Roevember 18: Comrades
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To say Robyn was initially intimidated by the Scions is a bit of an understatement. Dealing with a group of highly intelligent and well educated scholars was not normally in her wheelhouse, and she often felt a bit embarrassed at her own humble upbringing.
But she quickly found refuge with their approachable receptionist, and a fast friendship was born. The trials they faced in Ishgard and Kugane only strengthened their bond. As much as Robyn has protected Tataru over the years, Tataru has also protected her from those who would try to take advantage of the hero.
And one day, Tataru helped Robyn take on perhaps her greatest challenge yet - learning how to read. (Look, she may have been motivated to do more than have Tataru read her letters to her and secretly pen her responses, especially to a certain miqo'te woman back in Eorzea)
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yumenari · 7 months ago
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Guys did you know today is the birthday of the loml (and their snake familiar)
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befuddled-calico-whump · 4 months ago
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Augusnippets Day 15: Starvation
cw: drugging, substance dependency, starvation, emeto, sorta dehumanization, dissociation, nonsexual nudity, vague deathwish
previous // next
for the @augusnippets challenge // word count: 537
=~=~=
He can no longer sit up on his own.
Too weak. In the sparse moments where he's coherent enough to think, the spy knows they're tapering off his rations. Hunger crawls up from his stomach like a swarm of ants, leeching what little strength remains.
He It is always trapped in a haze, but the haze is no longer big enough. It aches all day, unable to even sleep until someone brings another water bottle. Pain consumes its leg, hunger shivers in its bones. When guards pass by, it begs them for water, not food, wanting only to numb it all.
Sometimes they comply, but it's rarely enough. Are they taking away its relief too? Or has it built a tolerance to the drug?
(the thought terrifies the spy when he can comprehend it; the thought of never returning to himself)
It can hardly move. It doesn't want to move. When the stubborn thing inside tries to lift its head, there is only dizziness, more pain, a fleeting fear that this may be the end.
The creature wants none of that. No thoughts, no senses, only the drug that allows it to sleep.
They bring it water and it drinks and nothing happens. No fog, no sudden emptiness. It whimpers into the concrete for hours or days.
The bring it water and it drinks.
(no food)
It can't stop shivering, nausea twisting its empty stomach.
(why can't you do something why can't you move why couldn't you have held fast)
They don't bring it water.
Two guards, it can see them through hazy vision. Its eyes hurt, its head aches.
(this is different)
They grab its arms, dragging it out of the cell, bad leg howling, utter agony, creature howling with it, voice weak
(pathetic, could've ran, could've done something)
the movement and pain and nausea and dizziness are all too much after it's been allowed to feel nothing for so long and it heaves up nothing, bile on its tongue, tears in its eyes. They drag it somewhere and it hurts it hurts it hurts.
(could've turned it down)
would've died
(would've been better)
They have to hold it up, hands around and under its arms. Someone else is talking at it, but it doesn't matter. It hurts and it's cold, colder than the cell was.
(when did they take his clothes?)
It tries to vomit again, left with a sour string of spit clinging to its chin. Over, it just wants it to be over, just wants it to—
Its head jerks up so quickly it sees spots when it hears the snap of a bottle opening. The new person is holding it out
(smirking)
It tries to reach for the bottle, can't shake itself free of the hands, trapped. It can't make sense of the stream of words pouring from its mouth, but it can't stop them either.
pleasepleasepleaesithurtspleaseithurts
(you were supposed to be better than this you were supposed to endure–)
The man laughs.
“Damn. Guess you really can do a number on a guy without lifting a finger.” He screws the cap back on, ignoring the creature's despairing whine.
“Put him back for now. I think he's almost ready for some questions.”
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masterashomon · 4 months ago
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It didn't hurt.
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ourstaturestouchtheskies · 1 year ago
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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – Werner Wilhelm Gustav Schuch // I Know the End – Phoebe Bridgers
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