#ANYWAY. wow that was so well plotted
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hello good morning i read the fic The Long Way Home by itsnatalie this week and finished it at 1am and had to stare through the ceiling processing for another full hour having emotions over tim and jason and a sentient labyrinth and the concept of choosing kindness when it would be so much easier to choose cruelty at every turn and NOW i am stumbling back here to recommend it to everyone who might want a tim & jason (& batfam) psychological horror longfic that will knock your socks off
testimonials once i was semi-coherent (mild spoilers):
#not entirely sure what content warnings i’d add but i do not have the best stomach for horror and i had fun reading!!#like it Got Me but not in a bad way. in a Oh i’m holding my breath on the edge of my seat kind of way#heads up for past parental abuse (jack drake) and unreality by nature of the premise (sentient labyrinth that manifests your worst fears)#also some creepy crawlies/bug monsters#ANYWAY. wow that was so well plotted#man i love fanfiction. people are out here writing some of the best shit i’ve ever read. and for free!!#fic rec#batfam
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Amazing, take some of the side character demons from Evil Bound.
Vincie is a menace to Chuck and Chuck alone so in Hell, Chuck hexes his hand behind his back so that he isn't grabbed as much (and it's harder to pet him). Chuck is like the most irresponsible older sibling ever to demons though so Kelvin recruits him (as an older sibling vibe) to go help him get his ACTUAL older sibling from Earth. Chuck agrees. And then drags Vincie from Hell with them because no one else wants to babysit him and he refuses to unbind the hex just to re-hex when he returns to Hell.
In Hell, Kelvin actually doesn't appear much different than his human form! Like Kronos, the lines under his eyes are red in Hell but black on earth. Chuck however? In Hell he has wolf-ish ears and has a fur lining his neck (note the neck scars in human form). In addition to that he has four eyes in Hell (note the scars under his eyes in human form). Vincie just has horns in Hell. And! In Hell the hex doesn't have a silly looking "tied up" look, it's invisible unless Vincie strains it with movement and then its red text. But it shifts on earth to be visible.
Vincie's biggest agony for the entirety on earth is "dude it's colder here than in Hell I want a jacket to slip my arms into BUT I CANT BECAUSE IM BOUND".
#my characters#amazing show stopping rng wheel thanks#i have my oc plots on a wheel - thats 80 different options! wow! - and spun it#i spun twice and the first time it was the bodyguard plot that i drew a few days ago#the second time was evil bound#i genuinely think it new its a bad day and im not doing well so it took it easy on me with things id done recently#anyway ive never colored kelvin before which i realized today#i only have pencil art of him#also fun fact about their lil earth adventures#they fucking fail horrifically the first time they go and kronos doesnt go back#then they go back to try and get him to forcefully bring him back and theeeeen shit hits the fan#and so vincie is vibing with tolliver since hes basically useless without hands and then oops!#no more hex! and so he starts to get really super scared and tolliver is like uh isnt that a good thing your hands are free now#and vincie is horrified because the only way to break a hex from a distance is if the caster is near dead or dead#and if thats the case chuck is probably dead and that means what if kronos and kelvin are dead#how is he gonna get back to hell alone and is HE going to get punished for it#but then kronos and kelvin show up and take vincie back to hell with the not breathing chuck#but its fine in the end bc the succubi bring him back to ... life ? question mark? anyway hes revived#but vincie does have a part where hes just crying in tollivers apartment bc he thinks hes gonna be punished#for not helping the other demons and then they died#but chuck dying is basically why kronos goes back to hell - he feels responsible (hes at fault so good for him to own up)#vincie is one of the very few demons who doesnt have dark sclera#chuck vincie and kronos all have black sclera while the succubi have gray#i dont think there was ever a reason for it tbh i should make up a reason#time to go lie down and not exist the rest of the night if i can avoid it
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in similar vein to reading watership down and being pleasantly surprised by how hopeful it was i have now finished reading haunting of hill house and have been kind of pleasantly surprised by how. sapphic. it was. i mean its a horror story and has left me with the correct sense of sort of quiet unease and like. im going to need to think about it for a while and like. damn. but it also was QUITE queer in ways i was not expecting going in. so thats fun! (said while thinking about houses and walls and unreliable narrators and dissolving sense of self)
#i shouldnt be surprised i saw this mentioned briefly but. i still am.#like the horrors are happening and are going to happen and thats what im here for but hey! gays. wow. crazy stuff#or maybe its just because i speed read half of verity and the amount of plot inextricably tied to the main character(s) being deeply in lov#w/ attracted to the leading man just makes this seem. refreshing. in comparison#like the gayness absolutely takes a backseat to the uhHhHhhhhH descent into madness and eleanor being consumed by(? merging into? returning#to? etc etc) the house. but. its also IN the backseat yk. like the obsession and the nature of the relationship with theo is an inextricabl#part of the story and its progression even if you choose not to read it as queer.#even if you dont percieve it as SAPPHIC per se its certainly. well. you know. its SOMETHING and IMPORTANT which is what i rlly fuck with#anyway. eleanor gets taken by the house and the walls and its all done using the maze in her mind or w/e. idk how to phrase any of my#thoughts abt this just yet but. fascinating. /fascinating/#sysreading#i guess#haunting of hill house#also theres a show? i knew bly manor was the . gay one but maybe? i should watch....? 🧐 horror show tho...#eleanor is so. flawed and so trapped in her own head and so much at the mercy of her own thinking. and it's hard to say how much of that is#the house influencing her vs the house simply using what is already there and amplifying#eleanor trapped- not just by the house but by her own thinking
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i want to do a rewatch of some mcu movies but i worry that i am at risk of remembering how fundamentally aggressively incurious those movies were abt everything & anything that happened in them and it will make me temporarily insane
#like. oh wow cool what are the IMPLICATIONS of—nothing shut up it's nothing#oh but what is the IMPACT of this plotline what happens AFTER th—shut the fuck up it's nothing. nothing it's nothing. 3 year time skip <3#like just so deeply deeply unwilling to discuss anything other than information directly pertaining to the current immediate plot#garbage garbage garbage#i love so much of the mcu in concept & in potential but knowing they did nothing with any of it kind of like#puts a damper. on. the rewatch enjoyment kjghlkjdhfg#i had a fucking BLAST rewatching catws bc i was like WOW this is so FUN and WELL-MADE and BUCKY MY BELOVED#and then i remembered how like. little the movies after it gave a shit about it flkdgjhlkfjdhlgkjhdf#sequels made by people who did not watch any of the previous movies. hellish cursed i am drowning in the 1 inch of water that is the mcu#anyway ANYWAY anyway. i would like to watch. im2. sigh#i remember the 1st 2 iron dudes being fun so perhaps this will be safe. no team movies tho it'll have me foaming at the mouth#kayvswords
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not wangxian though. it's one of the 10% which are actually good
#I was going to write an essay in the tags to justify why they're not klance but I don't actually need to. they're just good characters#with a compelling and fairly unique relationship#YES it has its issues and its cliches and its eye-rolling moments of predictability but#but the way their characters relate to each other and the plot is genuinely really well-thought out#and carefully constructed. lwj is a little underdeveloped#but wwx is a phenomenally complex character. and their storylines and journeys cannot exist#without their intimate relationship and they impact each other on that journey#it's central to the plot even in censored adaptations and it's central thematically with a care that most gaybait of the day isn't#with the exception of like. house. granted something crazy was going on with house#but the fact that they're canon/intentionally written as romantic partners actually does add a lot to their relationship...crazy...#wow I did write a lot huh. well anyway I saw sherlock. I saw voltron. I saw the new star wars. none of those fan couples#have anything interesting or new to say or say it in a unique way either. extremely painfully generic#not wx tho. wx hit so many heights and then kept climbing. numero uno#cor.txt
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This week I’m prolly gonna be writing a fic every day and every single one is gonna be about Ben Solo with eye surgery
#and they’re like all gonna take place in different AUs but in every single universe he gets eye surgery#buckle in fam#SCLERAL buckle in. that’s some eye surgery humor there for ya.#I’M TRYNA COPE LET ME COPE#yeah I’m like realizing this little event is kinda having like a bigger impact on my life than I realized#I’m chill with it I’m just like. wow dang am I like. disabled now kinda?#I’m half blind and it sounds like I might be for a long time but I was slowly going blind before so now I’m just slowly going unblind?#I don’t know I don’t even know how much of it I’ll get back#left eye gurl. hold out for me baby. please.#shywalker stuff#hey anakin has a scar on his right eye#luke got his right eye mauled by a wampa#all the skywalker men have right eye damage because I said so#I haven’t tried drawing yet. uh. I don’t think I’d want to. think I’d be sick.#DOC WILL I EVER DRAW KYLO REN AGAIN#when will my right eye vision stop looking tilted and match up with the left eye vision help#I’M BROKEN#blehhh#I can’t lift for four weeks I’m gonna lose my muscle mommy status guys#well. my life was getting kinda boring anyway this is a neat little plot twist. interested to see where the author goes with this
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the excruciating fact about life is that sometimes waiting to read books is better than they are
#miaing#well there sure were a lot of words here#some of which i found really fancy and jotted down alright#but no need to be so sparse with the plot and like. generally things that happen#i promise you it's okay if your dark academia characters do something else apart from sitting in front of fireplaces#and talking to each other. and thinking about big words. while you are not telling me what are they researching about#also you know. small things like maybe someone havinf a birthday and throwing a party serves well if it's found family you're going for#anyway. i'm reading the third book of the a t l a s six out of spite now because it's on my yearly list. but wow was this mid#mias reading
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When British writers come up with an American character’s dialogue and give them the most painfully British things to say with their American accent and inflection and it makes the actor come off as stiff. :P
#The Oxford Murders (2008)#I mean it was a very well-done movie visually (that flowy choreographed camera work in the beginning WOW)#The plot was apparently hard to follow and it’s not just my lack of spoken dialogue comprehension and attention working against me#I always have to check reviews to make sure I’m not the only person having a hard time following a story#because I’ve been trained through life not to trust my own mind due to its faultiness…#Anyway: When Seldom said something like “…only mathematics can be proven. Basic statements like two plus two equals four#are the only things sure in this world” I— 💀 HELP no no no… one of the previous characters you played#would like to kiss this new character of yours on the mouth for what he just said— ashsisksnsksjjsjdjdmsksk#That is until you elaborated on it and then basically took the side of his persecutor… THAT sucked#And I know my speech right now does not come off as naturally as it once did (or is it) I have no idea#if this is my real voice or the absorption’s afterglow causing me to speak in such an uptight manner#but I don’t mind it#but I do mind it#because no matter what combination of words I use it doesn’t sound or feel as if I am the one speaking — I stitch together what I hear#or have I only been conditioned to think the way I speak isn’t natural because nobody in my immediate life speaks like this#Who says stitching together words into a gigantic quilt isn’t natural for me?#But that still leaves me with no soul. I’m Pete the Parrot. Or Bumblebee.#Maybe I shouldn’t speak or write; maybe I need to master visual telepathy#or a language comprised entirely of touch and eye movement#I always feel the need to create languages so I can express myself without falling into cliches and dialects#I want to be free of stereotypes#I’m tired of speaking this language… EXHAUSTED#I speak in predictable patterns and when I think I’m not using a pattern by being unpredictable; the unpredictability becomes a trend
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tears of the kingdom could have been so good if it were built around like, its story or its characters instead of being a clunky shell to show off the mechanic no one asked for that it forces you to use
#*#text#totk#mechanics#i had fun scuttling around in the depths for a while but that got old eventually. for obvious reasons#what i liked about zelda games was always the atmosphere and character interactions#like. one of my favorite games is twilight princess. which is. deeply unserious in many ways#bit it COMMITTED to its setting and what the writers went ham making sure#that it was still full of whimsy and affection.#totk doesn't have that. the characters are all 1) instruction manuals or 2) vehicles for what small and disparate semblances of plot#survived whatever disaster must have happened in development that made them cannibalize several different ideas#and stick them into the shell for the fucking. arm#totk plays like a gallery or again just an engine for the building thing.#it's pretty. the music is good. the building thing is well made. but as a zelda game totk Fucking Tanks#i HATE overinvolved mechanics. i HATE having to stop and rely on a Whole Process that i have to keep stocked#to get anything done. i've always liked loz again bc of characters and whimsy but also bc it's always been mechanically vert streamlined#and accessible to someone like me who is disabled and finds fiddling EXTREMELY tedious#you have one required tool per dungeon and they're QUICK they're SIMPLE they're A GOOD TIME#totk. to me. is just clunky and has no redeeming qualities outside of again being pretty and still sort of nominally letting you run around#collecting things. some of the side quests were cute. but even then the characters were very.#THE THING ABOUT ZELDA GAMES IS THAT IM used TO THEM BEING ABOUT. NOT JUST THE FUNCTION!!!!!!#there were things— many of them! sometimes most of them even!!!— there just for fun. again almost especially The Characters#totk is so goddamn UTILITARIAN on all levels ITS. CLUNKY and BORING i don't WANT to have to do 30 things just so i can do something else.#hey nintendo. if you have to force people to play your game. like if you specifically have an ''open'' game and then subsequently have to#manufacturer MANY blocks and caveats to the idea of ''do whatever have fun!!'' so that it's''but only how WE want you to''. maybe thats bad.#maybe you've done a bad job. if again. you have to FORCE players to go about things in the way and order that you want. it's no fun.#like even zelda games where you have less options and linear progression feel less restrictive bc like. they don't fucking punish you.#for. playing the game. you just can't do things. totk really punishes you for going off script. which like. why even do that.#anyway. this is all probably incoherent. i'm right tho.#wow there are so many typos. pretend there are not <3
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Looking at the map of Hyrule and Twilight Princess and I just see so many grottoes and I'm like how did I miss all these--
I'm gonna have to do some serious exploring the next time I fire up my gamecube.
#looking at locations for elastic heart and just wow there are so many things I missed#I was trying to get through plot to finish the story oh well#hard to avoid spoilers for anything in this game at this point but even hearing about the entire plot doesn't ruin the magic of the game#because there are so many little moments that aren't in remarks or summaries about the game#anyway I'm getting way off task I have a fnfic to write lol#elastic heart#twilight princess#legend of zelda
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I had this funny and wildly feminist dream about the bear . Help.
#Annoyance with carmy manifested into dreamland revenge plot 💀#No it was like. i dont event remember it that well actualyl#but i was like. In the perspective of a random new character in the show and i mostly i was with Claire actually and we figured out#eventually that we were both kind of being led on and played with by that boy without even knowing each other so we were like#Wow. Why dont we go pay him a visit? :)#And after that i reallt dont remember well but we both definitely showed up at his apartment and one of us stood#out of sight so he would be normal and then popped out to show him he had been caught and literally what he said was#''oh fuck you guys 🙄'' which i think was extremely in character#Anyway i literally did want Claire to get away from him so badly and look what happened.#Keep him in that fridge forever
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Okay question, do I rewatch an old anime or give a new one a chance, and should I post my full page of my sketchbook that I call the "Oops! All Astarion" page?
#no because I feel like i haven't captured his him-ness that well#personally not a fan of the page y'know#i mean one or two are kind of good. not exactly Him but passable#but the people i've shown it to liked it a fair amount? so?#the anime question is do i rewatch code geass or do i try sora yori mo tooi basho btw#i watched code geass years ago and only remember a few things#ie none of the plot but i remember the cat episode with zero's mask and that there was one where the robots make pizzas#i want to rewatch darling in the franxx and evangelion and soul eater and soul eater not and --- anyway. lots of good media#and i have so many books to read too!#his dark materials and warrior cats and tara duncan and i want to reread mahoutsukai no yome as well#arghhhhh#anyway. help me.#wow i have a ramble tag now
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Love doing character themed rewatches. It's like "going to briefly live in a parallel universe where you're the main character for a minute so I can understand you"
#ramblings of a lunatic#i did one for all the gus episodes sometime after the s2 finale (so- something ventured someone framed. through the looking glass ruins-#-and labyrinth runners. oh my god why are all the gus episodes such MOUTHFULS)#and it was good it made me Get Him more than i already did. i rewatched labyrinth runners again recently as well. i love that ep#after hollow mind came out i rewatched all the hunter eps (separate tides hunting palismen any sport in a storm etc)#bc brand new context! unspeakably horrific implications! yippee!!!#also during the hiatus i rewatched all the willow eps (i was a teenage abomination hootys moving hassle understanding willow-#-wing it like witches any sport in a storm. also labyrinth runners. etc etc)#(wow she has a lot more than I thought! I'm being a little generous but still. ppl who say willow had no development eat my shorts)#ANYWAY next up on the queue is lilith. i had thoughts about her again so I'm gonna rewatch her flashback in YBOS#followed by separate tides keeping up a-fear-ances and elsewhere and elsewhen#if i were to be more generous I'd include escaping expulsion and echoes of the past for her b plot roles but I'm looking for the meat here
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i can't believe i used all my tags on this. i have MORE TO SAY. honorable mentions i will not elaborate on: pikmin, runescape, OG animal crossing.
the reason for all my tags is because there's a difference between "most fun" and "most important" and feel like if they're important u should at least say why :3
#1. metroid prime trilogy: my first dive into metroidvania games and to this day it is probably my favorite genre next to soulsborne.#also as a space nerd egg “wow she's so cool i wish i could be like her” lmaooooo buddy..#2. eternal darkness sanity's requiem: REALLY great unique game. graphics r a bit dated but i think it otherwise holds up rly well.#great spellcasting system with a rock beats scissors beats paper type of thing between different uh. “types” of magic? sourced#from different gods that seem to exist outside of time. idk what bar it raised exactly but it made a strong impression on me#and I've been wishing i had something like it ever since. the sequel has been started multiple times but i don't think it's ever#gonna happen 😔 nintendo has some surprisingly GREAT rated R games.#3. fallout new vegas/skyrim: having enjoyed these so much I've had them on every system i think getting them for PC was a literal#game changer. i played vanilla then ultimate editions and Thought i played them to death but once i got console access on PC??#it kinda served as my entry point to using mods and recently I've even made my own mod for elden ring and dark souls 3 (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)#not that I really needed or used mods with those games - but just kinda being Aware™ that being on PC means u have access#to the game's underlying functionality that you don't get on console. making bat scripts for skyrim/fonv made for some#HILARIOUS gameplay 😭#4. Sonic adventure 2 battle: rly just the sonic games in general but this one FUCKS. Songs r bangers. love the characters.#u low-key kidnap the president for a bit?? more like u break into his car to talk with him nonchalantly lol but still 💀#i listen to the OST to this day!!! when i think of a favorite GameCube game this is one of the first to come to mind.#and the chaos 🥺🥺🥺 and Rogue hey queen (｡ﾉω＼｡)#5. hard to pick a Last One here.. I'm sure there are a lot of games that could be a stand-in choice but RE4/Dead Space Trilogy:#these were some GREAT horror survival games with a good plot and engaging gameplay. Dead Space especially was one me and#all my friends played and took turns playing (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤ just the time spent together alone was good but just rly solidifying that#u can have horror a good plot And good gameplay all in one. i love survival horror as a genre to this day ( ◜‿◝ ) wish i could#remember others i played but i can't?? speaks to how iconic they were at the time though.#6. (honorable mention) the mass effect trilogy: u wanna talk about great plot and engaging gameplay?? these games were SO#fucking good omg 😭 i LOVE the lil class system and the different abilities u get to use i loved that u could carry ur character and#decisions across games. and the fucking TRAGEDY of ur faves not making it thru the ending of ME2 (〒﹏〒) I fr#Went Back so i could try again and again till i at LEAST saved Jack but also saved everyone.#i think the emotional payoff for all ur characters ur invested in r pretty good when u make it to the third since it's p cinematic?#kinda want to play it again. ick do i want to touch the origin launcher though is the real question (´-﹏-`；) i bought it in a bundle#on steam and immediately asked for a refund when i realized i couldn't just play it through the steam launcher (ノ｀⌒´)ノ┫：・┻┻#anyways. lots of time spent there too and another addition to the “you can have fun gameplay AND a great plot” pile.
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trying to put all my stories into an easy to understand catalogue is like trying to drain the ocean with a bucket
#like yea maybe i should give a few up but i always circle back and i like to have notes#anyway i literally made new characters like a minute ago . cause i kept seeing the name eden and i was like wow thats pretty i should use it#but i have no (?) characters that need to be named but i was like...what if theres another woman called eve...eden and eve and i was like ok#what about adam but like i dont like men and then remember a song that called lucifer lucy and i didnt realize it was lucifer until like the#20th listen#anyway so its eden and eve and lucy . worst polycule in the world#idk what ill do with them but they exist now so LOL#but yea thats kind of how my brain works . the next step is obviously to make a playlist...#also unrelated but i was naming a bunch of characters for stories from the catalogue < but how do you have the story with no charactrr names#well shut up . they have playlists so theyre stories . anyway it was like sci fi < i dont like sci fi but i was in a strange point#and i was like ok i kind of sort of know the plot but ill have to change everything and also give names and i remembered i have another#sci fi story and the mc is called brigid which is a goddess so i was like lol what if i give them mythological names#anyway theyre called daphne and apollonia godbless
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rewriting early Distant Melody may never come to anything--i doubt i'm going to rewrite all ~100k plus the Part 3 i've been thinking about adding for a year, certainly not quickly, and i can't even begin to think of how i might publish it, not to mention the fact that it's 6 seasons out of date so it's not going to have any audience even if anyone is still in that fandom--but if nothing else, it's serving as an extremely good way for me to convince myself that i'm an astronomically better writer now than i was in 2016-2018
#distant melody tag#my characterization and my pacing are just. wow. unbelievably better#also i'm funny now#and bc i have a much better idea of the late story plot i can do so much more foreshadowing#this is the fanfic that has haunted me the most over the years#everything else has either been 'yeah i'm proud of that'#or 'that one's not great but it's just abt the best it could have been when i wrote it and i dont have any interest in making it better'#but i just...i rushed through DM so much because i didnt really know what i was doing with it#i had the concepts that were so rich and interesting but i didnt execute them super well#and i was held back by my weakness in writing characters being mean to each other fdlkjshfkj#so anyway! if by some chance u remember this fic from so so long ago! hi! it's getting better
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