#AND where was the great sex fest because I didn't see it

[neverendingcomplaints]

Oh boy.

Bridgerton, how did you do it? How is it possible to cram in that many more side-stories?

There were at least NINE this season.

NINE.

That's ridiculous. And it took away from Penelope and Colin imo. Colin had all of 1 episode to go through the emotions of finding out your wife's been writing gossip about you and your family and then forgive her. Eloise and Penelope had like, a scene or 2 to mend their friendship after being icy for some time. And Penelope and her family dynamic weren't given justice either.

I actually like the first 4 episodes, just feel like there was a serious traffic jam trying to tie all these things up (did they?) before the end.

To be generous, they could keep Francesca, Eloise, the Featherington-Solicitor business and Benedict. FOUR. Solid and clean. Violet didn't need a love interest this season, the Will stuff could've waited, Lady Danbury's beef with her brother was weird and the Anthony and Kate stuff could've been 2-3 quick episode appearances (no more than 10-15 mins on them unless in service of furthering along Polin). The Cressida herself stuff was interesting and I'd love to see them try to give her a little spin-off story of her own like Queen Charlotte - I liked what they were doing with her until the end where they were just like, "Meh f* it - back to 2D you go!"

And on top of that, I saw a YouTube video where someone went in on the fashion this season and I agree with that too. Just...what is going on? Get it together!

Penelope and Colin deserved better.

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

1, 9, 12, 16, 17, 21?

1. the character everyone gets wrong

i've answered this one already but gonna double down on dan heng/dan feng (their relation cannot be defined as black and white as fandom wants it to be) & neuvillette (he's not a uwu cry baby who doesn't know what sex is)

9. worst part of canon

[puts on my clown shoes] the high cloud quintet......... and also the fact that jing yuan literally has no reason to be in the story as is. they did not utilize his character at ALL when they could have easier done some cool things with him, but it all fell flat in the end and it sucks since he was the character i got into hsr for (im a big fan of his eng VA and only started playing bc of him)

and for genshin. they nerfed dottore with sexy anime ass plague doctor aesthetic. its just so boring and predictable. RIP webttore you should have survived the dottore segment hunger games not omega :/

12. the unpopular character(s) that you actually like and why more people should like them

the entire narzissenkreuz cast.... like genuinely one of the coolest and most tragic group of characters from more recent in game history that is fully expanded on in world quests. it a great self contained story told over 3 patches and offers neat context to the events of the fontaine archon quests but more specifically.... rene de petrichor i love you and youre unhinged culty academic shenanigans

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

im sorry but fanon haikaveh (its annoying & reduces their characters down to just a tropey ship) and jingheng (its boring) and i understand why people like neuvifuri and its neat they can be read as so many different relationship dynamics but i very much dislike it in a romantic sense.

i hate the weird sexualization of wriothesley being a prison warden x prisoner! reader, canon character, oc etc

but as for general tropes i think friends to lovers is boring and a snooze fest on its own. wheres the drama....the conflict.... the compelling plot. and i think high school aus are cringe in general. especially from either adult writers or characters who are already adults in canon

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

like in general? im sick of seeing so much rendered/soft shaded 'anime-esque' fanart being the most appreciated in fandom spaces. not to say these folks aren't talented they ARE but it feels like their type of work is the only stuff being praised and lifted in communities i personally would REALLY love to see more graphic and exaggerated cartoon work because i feel like there can so much personality put into pieces like than rather than just pure skill and technique in more rendered/painted styles of work

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

i really don't have any interested in the traveler as a character. i understand Why they exist but id have just as much if not more fun if they didn't have a story arc of their own........ the abyss twin being connected to khaehnri'ah and the abyss order is more interesting than the traveler's entire journey

[nikethestatue]

Same anon! I'm glad someone feels as confused with acosf as I did.

What do you think sjm could've done to make acosf better? And were you satisfied with nesta's arc?

Preface by saying that I absolutely don't mind when women have harsh, unapologetic personalities. Nesta didn't need to change into something soft and pliant, to have a good arc. But I think there are a few issues with Nesta 'arc'.

It was never clarified why she had such hateful animosity towards Feyre

It also doesn't make sense why she would have such a slavish devotion to Elain

Those are two very important points which were never addressed in the book and I feel like we as readers are still confused.

Again, I dont mind imperfect sibling relationships. Much prefer it, actually, because siblings dont have perfect relationships. However, we still needed to understand why she'd call Feyre an animal/beast and slutshame her in front of their father, and just be so weirdly gross to her.

Which also doesn't mesh well with other parts of Nesta--caring, devoted, even gentle. She went to the Wall in search of Feyre. She was often kind and caring towards Elain. She fell in love with Cassian at first glance.

I think the emotional component of the book fell very flat. But so did the magical component. We never got to understand what her powers were. She, in fact, seemed kind of weak and powerless most of the book. I think the Trove and the Making of weapons were interesting and made the book readable, but also underdeveloped.

I would've wanted to see Nesta go an a physical journey--where she had to figure things out, use her wits, use her smarts, use her powers. Even if she was in Illyria with Cassian it would've been better, because she'd have to navigate an entirely new life, learn to live with him and grow with him, find friends.

There are fanfics out there that are so much better than the book. They weave interesting stories, they make Nesta DO something. Not just sit in HoW. She is also independent, even if she is with Cassian. Her actions aren't constantly connected or dependent on him.

Think of the scene in Prison, when they go and meet Lanthys and find the Harp. THat was a great scene from every angle. Now imagine a whole book like that! That's a microcosm of a fantastic story--there is an interesting villain, there is mystery, actual temptation, choice to be made, there is action and fighting, there is devotion, there is love, there is magic.

Instead, we got a confusing sex fest, yoga lessons and friendship bracelets, and the weakest villain in history.

[kirame90]

I've been meaning to send this to you for a while now but I've been having a depressive episode lately and everything, including sending messages, has been out of my reach.

I just wanted to say I love your comic! Waiting for a new update is something that gives me reason to look forward to a new week. I also appreciate how you've been making it for such a long time and still going all until the conclusion (so by that regard you're already doing a better job than Valve 😆 ... 7th issue "To be concluded". *sniff*) Seriously, this is why TF2 fandom is so great: even when the game is ancient by the industry standards, fans keep putting out new content.

SniperSpy (opposite teams) is such a fun ship because it's pretty much bound to be an enemies-turned-lovers story but every artist has their own way of doing it, so it's always interesting to see how each person handles it. The starting premise of your comic is one of the more unique ones I've seen 😆 And on a good way, mind you: TF2 is a game known for its sometimes very absurd humour ("When the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing"... Medic, HOW???), so the lifetime supply of Spy fits that tone just perfectly. So does the reason why Heavy the wish-fulfilling fairy is banned for good now, I laughed a good while at that.

I Finnish too but wrote this in English, so all your followers would be able to understand it. But feel free to message me in Finnish if you feel like it, I'm all for making new fandom friends. 👋

Oh fudge, depression is a bitch. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with that, it can get incredibly exhausting at times. Or all the time... Have a SniperSpy hug

Thank you for taking the time to write this message, even when you're having a hard time. It truly means the world to me to know I can bring some joy into people's lives with this little comic of mine.

Yeeaaaaaahhhh the official comic... The One Who Must Not Be Named and Probably Will Never Be Finished. If it makes you feel any better (I know it won't) I came up with an idiot-proof plot that would have ended the comic before we even got to the second part: Soldier beats Olivia (who has disappeared into thin air from the actual comic) because he has no sense of morality like Saxton does so he becomes the head of the company. Then Saxton beats him up immediately after and they chase Grey and Olivia away along with their robot army. The end!

Long story told in less than one full comic. You're welcome, Valve!

Now where was I?

Oh yeah the point.

Enemy Sniper/Spy is so much fun in every possible way of how much potential it has when it comes to smut, drama, humor and well... EVERYTHING! You can do pretty much anything you want with it, depending on what you like. And I just happened to like senseless slapstick that later on turned into drama fest and now it's on fluff mode.

I seriously don't even know what I'm rambling on, this is one of those replies that just goes on and on because I don't know how to stop. Very much like my comic the more I think about it...

And since you are literally the first one who thought the FBI banning Medic from giving Kritzkrieg fumes to Heavy after sex (booyyy people didn't like that twist!), have a sneak peek of the next week's page

Again, thank you so very much for your feedback, it's always a great pleasure to hear people's comments. And I know it's such a cliché to say this but I genuinely do hope you'll feel better soon. Even if just a little bit.

[ahundredtimesover]

I will try again 😭 this evil site cockblocking me from sending me asks😭

.................................................................................................

Excuse me.. You put breast play as font size 16 and angst and crying as font size 6 and then you expect us to be okay with it???? MIMI THIS IS A SLOWBURN HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN??? YOU CANT JUST EAT YOUR WORDS LIKE TUMBLR ATR MY ASK AND LMAO AT SEEING US GO BANANAS 😭

Can I just start with the great because that's what you did... Loaded us up on sugar and spice and all things nice before DROPPING THAT ON US🗡️🗡️🗡️

HELLO THIS IS ALL OF US 😂😂😂😂😂😂 BOY REALLY STARTED EXPOSING SHIT AND HONESTLY NOT ALLOWED..PLEASE HAVE HIM TRIPLE WRAPPED AT ALL TIMES NOT EVEN A SLIVER OF SKIN IS ALLOWED TO BE ON DISPLAY 😭 have you seen today's memories of 21 clip where he's buttoning up his shirt😭 that's just hurtful how can someone be so delectable (me sobbing as I see hazy abs in 144p)

THIS WAS SO FEMDOM I AM STRUGGLING TO COME UP FOR AIR I AM DROWNING THIS WAS HOT. a little come hither motion would have just completed this scene for me.. I like how he's a CEO but he's so babie????????? Like excuse me???? Lowkey glad he ain't a brat tamer yet because CANNOT SURVIVE WILL NOT TALK TO YOU IF THAT HAPPENS (PLEASE LET IT HAPPEN)

STFU MIMI I WRITE SLOWBURN SO PERISH WHAT THE FUCK MIMI DO YOU AND JIN NOT HAVE REGARDS FOR MY SANITY MY WELLBEING MY MENTAL HEALTH MY CROPS WHICH I WILL WATER WITH MY TEARS?????

I'm sorry this. I lost my shit at this scene nahhh man nahhhh not the stroking of Jinzilla nahhhh this was a fever dream it didn't happen this was single handedly the hottest thing ever I am destroyed. Mimi this scene railed me publicly I am that destroyed.

I would too word vomit if I had a dick that glorious in me.

Now I'm not including the ss from thr angst session because I personally feel she over reacted. That was my first thought like girl are you mad??? It is not a big deal and then i read the last line.. OUR MISSUS IS IN LOVE TOO AND SHE IS NOT LABELLING HER EMOTIONS BCZ WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS IN THE HEAT OF HORMONAL SAMBA AND GETS RUINED LIKE GIRL??? I get you.. That was not over reaction that was utter betrayal because husband may be stringing both you and girl toy around for all you know and it's so dangerous to know that this man has all the resources ( he's fucking fictitious but people like these exist) and he could well be spending time apart and not be in Japan Esp when he comes home right after you say you miss him like he could be next door for you all you know but there comes the knowledge that did she not read him at all? Did she really think he would be capable of betraying her and lying to her?

Lying is something unforgivable and JIN has been doing this for a while with the family and Seri so yes it's understandable from that perspective but i wish she would hear him out..

This scene is the exact parallel from PLM when he accuses her for having sex with him to get pregnant and maryr him to trap him.. This is like an equivalent to that scene.

Honestly.. Chapter 8 was literally a whole roller coaster.. Like how day changes into night. It changed that fast. From making out and thriving living smiling being hydrated and staying in each other's laps to yelling a broken I love you and insinuating god knows what...

I'm not excited for chapter 9 bcz I think you planned more cry fest and people hating jin from OCs side... And i can't deal with anyone hating Jin.. He's my idiot.. Yoongi will also hate him that's a... That's a serious offence 😭

Prayers for this ask to be delivered.

Responding to this before chapter 9 drops and doing an evil laugh at your worries hihi BUT OK MAAM thank you for making me laugh 🤣🤣 srsly this whole ask is my favorite thing bc yes, Jin exposing his body has been such an inspiration (dude that clip of his shoulders pls let us all suffer) so that smut scene where he’s both a babie and a king knowing he looks hot, yes pls 🥵

And yes, the PLM scene! I think with arranged marriages (with how I write them), there’s still that sliver of distrust that comes out when things get hard. The accusations hurt, yes, but sometimes, in the heat of the moment, people assume and say things that they regret. Looking forward to what you’ll think of the aftermath of the argument! And again, thank you for always dropping by 🥰🥰

[lululawrence]

Hellooo you may have answered this before so apologies but I just wondered, a lot of your fics are tagged as no smut, is that just something you don’t really like to write? You’re a talented writer with great premises and great recs, keep up the good work :)

hey! no worries! i haven't actually talked about this on here i don't think since i made the decision to stop writing smut several years ago now, and if i can't remember i certainly don't expect anyone else to lol and thank you so so much for your kind words! it means a lot when i feel like i'm struggling a lot with finding the time to write what i want to :D

my answer got very long, as per usual. this wordy bitch isn't likely ever gonna change. so i'm gonna go ahead and put this under a cut.

so. there were a lot of reasons why i decided to stop writing smut. i had been considering it for awhile because smut was something i only started writing for a few reasons in the first place. the first reason was i wanted to see if i could do it. once i knew i could, i wanted to see if i could do better with it. the second reason, though, was that at the time, i felt that the only way i could really get readers was if i wrote smut.

there were certain fic reccers who were kind of almost like the fic gatekeepers for a lot of readers, and if they didn't acknowledge a fic, it was like it didn't exist in some ways. or that was how it felt as a new writer in the fandom. in order to get on their radar, you had to write smut and you had to write smut that highlighted certain things they liked. i wanted people to know my fics existed, and i thought that was likely one of the only ways to do it. since it was a challenge as well as a hoop it seemed like i had to jump through, i did it.

as time went on and i learned more about myself, i realized i just did not enjoy writing it at all. it made me incredibly anxious to think about the smut scenes. writing was meant to be fun! if smut was making it so it wasn't fun for me anymore, then that wasn't cool and something clearly needed to change.

i hadn't made the decision to do so quite yet, but i had a few conversations with some friends the months after that. there were fics that i thought really beautifully and subtly showed the growth of intimacy between the main characters, but others made comments that nothing happened between them. these nods to the increased trust and vulnerability between the characters wasn't seen by everyone, and i actually had a few arguments where i had to explain that sex doesn't have to be the pinnacle. sex isn't always what is seen as the ultimate moment of vulnerability and intimacy that some people see it to be. but also, i wholeheartedly believe that scenes can be searingly sexy and hot and have absolutely no removal of clothing or sexual content.

once again finding a challenge, i was about to make the cross over to not writing smut anymore, but then the incredible @greenfeelings got a stupidly entitled anon that pissed me off. see, shai had just written this AMAZING fic, it was long and intricate and emotionally deep, and it just so happened to have one sex scene in the entire 85k i think it was, and that scene mostly faded to black iirc. this anon came and tore her down for not writing more smut. they essentially said she had promised it to them by referencing smut through the fic but not actually WRITING it. another came then and basically said the smut she did include was not to their liking.

and that was it. if a writer i look up to as much as i do shai could gift the fandom with her incredible skill and have people shitting on her art in that way, all because the smut wasn't to their specifications, then why the hell was i even trying? why was i stressing myself out and putting myself through the anxiety of it all? to pander to people who behaved like that?

so no more. i fulfilled the fests i had signed up for that required smut, and then haven't included it in my fics since. i decided if people were just reading fics for smut, they were likely disappointed with what they found in mine anyway, and really i don't actually care anymore if my fic gets a lot of hits. i hope those who do take a chance and read them enjoy them. i hope my friends who have the time to read them like them too. but ultimately i LOVE my fics, and that's my new measure for success. i write my fics for ME. and sometimes as gifts to friends. hehe

it's been a huge relief for me, but also i have had a LOT of fun with the challenge of still showing that sexual tension and growth of intimacy without showing any smut. it is my greatest goal to write fics that show growth in their bond and how they respond to each other, and also make a fic really sexy, without actually having sex in it. fests like @wankersday are so much fun, trying to figure out ways to fulfill the prompt while also not actually showing anything. it's great!

so yeah. some of it is my pettiness. some of it was that i didn't enjoy writing it and it actually did cause anxiety at times. and some of it was because while writing smut was a challenge, i PREFER the challenge of writing a fic WITHOUT it.

so yeah! that's why!

[beggingwolf]

hi so I've just eaten too much ice cream, feel vaguely ill, and I'm here to tell you All About How I Failed At Outlining for SGKF this year!

that's partially just a fun tagline, but it's also a bit true. I told my friends I'd be trying to use several different outlining methods to try and knock out a plotty piece for the fest, and things did not go to plan!

important to begin with: I am what is referred to as a "pantser." I tend to just start writing. this is strangely contradictory to my personality, which deeply loves plans. unfortunately, what often happens is plans and outlines ruin my excitement and drive while working on a project (it tricks me into thinking I've done all the work and resolved the plot), leading me to abandon it.

and though I can throw together pretty words and made a decent fic, my fics never turned out as good as they could have been. I kept telling myself that if I planned in advanced and worked out what I was doing BEFORE I did it, I'd be able to craft a fic with such care and attention as to make it really SHINE.

so, uh, kinkfest rolls around, and since I was a mod I could see all the prompts before they even got released to the public, so I basically had a WHOLE EXTRA two-ish weeks to start planning and writing.

did I? NO.

so, despite the fact that I collect writing advice like a magpie , I'm not the greatest at implementing it. if you go into my SGKF google folder, you'll find a few instances of me TRYING to implement writing advice like metawriting:

(and you'll see some fics that didn't get finished/make it into the fest!)

my issue was (and still is) that I think I value every little word too much. this is a bad thing: I'm an overwriter by nature. when I get words down, I want to keep them because I feel like I worked hard for them, even if they're not great or don't actually serve the story in the way they should. that's not to say all my metawriting was bad; it wasn't. I tried it out for A Drowning in California as well [which will henceforth just be referred to as "California").

I had a whole subfolder for California. what kind of amazed me is how different my initial notes for the prompt are from what the story actually ended up being. here, take a look:

literally almost none of this is in california. the WWE and UFC stuff made it in, and so did sid wrestling with horny, but that was it. I was going to start this fic in the locker room, with sid wrestling someone, and it was seriously going to be a story about sex—about sid wanting to hold geno down in bed. that was the premise.

and instead, we got a really emotional story about familial rejection and the isolation it can make people feel. SO! something happened along the way, right?

when I started getting into the plot that would support this supposed sexfest, this is where I went at first:

geno wants the relationship to get serious, sid is like mentally still a 12 year old who just wants to wrestle people and doesn't want to talk about his emotions, and prefers to use physicality to communicate. this doesn't work for geno, who wants ... more

we can start to see the actual emotions come through, the things I was interested in: sid using touch to talk, and geno desperately wanting more

what did the most good for me, in the end, was "doing" the metawriting by talking with my friends.

I told them what i thought this story was about ("I'm thinking about making this a story about relationship-defining, maybe? and the communication needed for a lasting adult relationship? I think I'm going to set it in california/LA, where Sid has invited Geno along for the first time for his California Summer Fun/Training/Escape, whatever, and Geno's going to be emotionally preoccupied with Defining The Relationship—maybe they've been on-again-off-again? maybe they're just new to this, like almost a year deep, and they're not getting younger—and thinking this trip is about that [or hoping this trip is about that, and realizing it isn't, and being disappointed].") and they told me what jumped out at them.

Jes told me what would ramp up the tension would be a deadline of some sort; "Geno’s going to break up with Sid or make some decision or something, or there’s something approaching where they have to make a will they or won’t they decision of some kind related to the core ‘defining the relationship’ issue. Geno’s going back to russia and in previous summers they’ve always slept with other people while apart? or Sid has a wedding coming up and he’s offhandedly mentioned taking someone else as his plus one?"

I liked her thoughts. it made sense to add an external pressure to all this, and that wedding idea stuck out to me the most.

Lis said I should add a jealousy angle, so you can largely credit her for the club scene: "one thing i like to sort of headcanon/imply about sid's california trips is he uses them to hook up anonymously. so you could have, like, sid and geno seeing sid's friends, but also accidentally running into some of sid's friends. and geno's like oh, great, so here i am doing this horrible summertime training that i hate because i don't need to train in the offseason actually, and i'm learning what exactly sid gets up to when we're apart."

My magical solution these days is GOING FOR WALKS. do it if you're able. it clears out your brain. so on my walks I ended up deciding that I wanted a taylor crosby wedding. I like taylor as a character, and as a person with sisters I just like writing her in. best of all, she and sid are close and I like writing "I'd do anything for my family" sid.

and then I was like. oh. what if it's not that sid is afraid/nervous to bring geno, it's that he can't.

I... wasn't as conflicted as I thought I'd be about writing sid's parents as homophobic. I prefer to write them as supportive; I think troy crosby's been eviscerated more than he should have been in older fanworks, and though I respect their right to make fictional!troy whatever they want, I've been a little skeptical of outlandish takes on him ("he doesn't say I love you to his son because a camera caught them mid-interaction once!") ever since I read how the media has found him a convenient narrative villain while he tried to keep his underage son safe from the media as a child and while they needed to cook up Spicy Stories about squeaky-clean sid.

uh, tangent aside, I always thought I'd never write a "parents are the villains" story, but I did here. it felt right. it was easier, too, because they're not PRESENT in the story. I didn't have to write trina actually being horrible to her son. I just had to skirt the edges of the wound.

which works well on two fronts: I don't have to actively write the crosbys being horrible to sid, and I also leave more to the imagination of the reader, and that almost never fails to make the work better. whatever the reader imagines them saying to sid, it's going to be 10x more hurtful than anything I'd write.

I dug really deep on some personal emotions and fears I experience as a gay person for a lot of sid's arc here. sid is deeply imperfect in this story, and he's internalizing his pain and the horrible thing that's happened to him, which is making him pull away from his partner, and sid is not responding how geno wants, nor is he responding well, period, though he's trying in his own wounded, stilted way.

and beloved geno, whose tender heart is so hidden away for fear of someone hurting it. I really like writing geno; he's huffy and emotional and sometimes bitchy and feels things SO deeply.

once I had more of an idea, I was already working on a more detailed outline. this is where I seriously took Jes's advice and WROTE EVERYTHING OUT! it made it so much less daunting, because I didn't have to be figuring out my next steps AND crafting sentences at the same time. also this is where I tell you that the title of this post is mostly a lie, it was metawriting I failed at.

This outline also meant I avoided writing large swaths of things that should've been cut. Another beta told me I should delete three scenes and condense a bunch of emotions into the club scene, and she was SO right. Cutting events out of an outline is WAY easier than cutting out pages of text.

Ironically my outline kind of deteriorated after the club scene, but that's alright: after I wrote the club scene, I actually had a clear vision of what I wanted the end to be. I just had to trust myself. I CAN do this, I CAN still just write intuitively sometimes!

I think California did what I wanted it to do. I'd love to try something out that's longer and has more story arcs in it (jes has a post for that too!) but I think that's best saved for another, longer project, though 18k isn't short.

next up is maggie stief's writing seminar that I bought a month back. I'm going to start working on that this month and see how I like it. I have a few halloween fic ideas, plus spookfest, so these next two months we should be cooking in the kitchen!

[alkimara]

On the Loki Series

Okay this is going to be one massive vent-post stink-fest if you liked the show don't read this. I'm serious, this is two hours of me writing and researching reasons to hate the show.

My grievances under the cut, organized into sections. Also this is stream of conscious so I'm sorry if it's all over the place. I tried to put alt text for images, but Tumblr ate my post, and I didn't want to do it again- they're not entirely necessary for understanding the post anyway.

Spoilers for the Loki show, Infinity War, and Endgame.

The Gay Agenda

Genderfluidity

Okay so there are actually two issues with this one. I'll start with the semantics- It's said here that Loki's "sex" is fluid. Granted, I don't see a category for "gender", but I think in the queer community we've struggled to try to educate people on the difference between gender and sex, because of gender presentation. I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be 100% educated on my queer history, but I am going to sit here and remind the world about the variety of people that can be found in the queer community- specifically the amount of transgender experiences that you can find. There are people who are trans and don't want sex reassignment surgery, and there are people who do! There are non-binary people who don't present androgynously, and there are those that do! Labelling his "sex" as fluid means that, biologically, he can change his gender. Yeah, that's true- we've seen it in the comics!

Here, Loki's trying to be a new person. She even says, flat out:

There's a new chapter starting, and I'm not going to be who I was. I won't as you to be, either. But I'm still me. I'm always me. You can take that how you like-- see me how you want to. I can't control that.

This is what genderfluid representation looks like. Not writing that someone can change their sex, but writing also that they can change their gender presentation. For all anyone knows at this point in time, this female Loki could still have a penis- it doesn't matter. She's presenting as a woman.

Back to the show, Loki never once does anything feminine, in the same manner that Sylvie never does anything masculine. The most masculine thing about her... is she never wears a dress? I guess? Whereas the male Loki is kept in a dress shirt and tie for more than half the season. I kept wondering when he was going to get a wardrobe change, and it just never came. Considering that he has the power of conjuring and changing his appearance whenever he pleases, he could've and should've made himself different. Sylvie at one point in the show even says "I wish I could wear something else" and Loki has that power, and doesn't do anything about it. Nevermind my opinion on the romance right now (I'll get to that), but if he's trying to swoon her in that moment, why doesn't he fulfill the request? Does he still think it's a manipulation tactic? What would she gain from a new shirt??

Getting back to my point: Disney treated his genderfluidity like a bonus "fun fact" and made zero effort to incorporate it into the show.

Bisexuality

Right now there's a big shift in the queer community where bisexuality is treated as an umbrella term by many, coined the "Bi Umbrella". Bisexuality, by definition, is "the attraction to two or more genders." Pansexuality is "the attraction regardless of gender." Omnisexuality is "attraction to all sexes with regard to gender." In the show, Loki and Sylvie get to talking about their romance life. Sylvie says, "Do you have any interests in Princesses? Or Princes?" And Loki's response is, "A bit of both, I suspect much like yourself." Yeah, that can be a win- for anything under the bi umbrella, that is. It's a general off-hand comment that's said and nothing more.

Okay! Great! We've confirmed Loki can be interested in men. Cue the Loki/Mobius shippers going absolutely ballistic. That's about it. Now, I understand that the Gods probably don't have a conception of sexuality- that's a reasonable way to write them. But not once have I seen any variation of Loki interested in a man in that show. The closest thing I can think of is his fling with the Grandmaster in Thor: Ragnorok, and his quips against some of the other Avengers in the other movies. Under the same vein, he's had quips and moments with various women. But in the show itself, there's no representation of his bisexuality other than what he says.

He falls in love with a woman who is his counterpart, in a way that I was really hoping was platonic and sibling-like until she kissed him. Whether that kiss was romantic or a distraction, if Loki truly didn't feel some romance towards her, it wouldn't have worked, point-blank. He's the God of Trickery and Mischief, and he should've known better, unless he fell in love with her. No, I am not even going to tackle the selfcest argument or the narcissism argument, because to him, she was an entirely separate entity, and I'm going to get back to this later.

Loki's Characterization

Whoo. I want you all to think, think really hard, to the first Avengers film.

Do you guys remember this Loki? The one that kinda went crazy with the Tesseract, sent an alien army to take over New York City, caused multiple atrocities? We all remember that scene where Loki is smiling as he removes someone's eyeball in order to break into their vault, right? Okay, good.

The Loki that is arrested in Episode 1 is that Loki. Coming off the heels of his first defeat as a major villain, he takes the Tesseract and runs. He's right now filled with rage, and still power. He believes that he can do whatever he wants. Then, he's arrested. Despite him being a power-hungry God:

A collar somehow disables his abilities, and yet he maintains a human form instead of a Jötunn one (because if you remember, he's biologically an ice giant).

He's consistently belittled and treated as 'just another variant'.

He goes through a therapy session, that was much needed, but causes him to breakdown. He is faced with that eye scene and says he didn't want to do it.

He has an existential crisis, which is understandable. What's not understandable is what happens after: he's depicted as a fool, a coward, and a fraud. On numerous occasions, he does the "wrong" or "stupid" thing (read: chasing after Sylvie, getting himself and Sylvie stuck on a doomed planet, becoming drunk and getting them exposed on the train). He's shown as someone reckless, instead of the man who calculated everything he could in that movie prior. He grows a heart in one, maybe two episodes. He grows a heart seemingly immediately after seeing what harm his actions do, trying to trust Mobius and Sylvie and anyone else who will look twice at him.

I also wanna note at this time that I don't know if the director hated Loki, and I don't blame any of this on Hiddleston? Unless either of them were active writers. Then I'd blame them.

The other thing is uh, where are his powers? He has illusion magic, projection spells, teleportation (which isn't even shown until the last episode), conjuring, and I mentioned already that he can change appearances. Versus Sylvie, who also has this magic, is somehow restrained to just enchantment- which Loki, coincidentally, doesn't know how to do. Despite watching the Tesseract do it for him and probably knowing exactly how it works, he can't mimic it, which is odd.

Timeline Inconsistencies

Most of these are just nitpicking at the writing. I'm going to do it anyway.

Dr. Strange

Okay this is more than a peeve more than anything.

Dr. Stephen Strange : I went forward in time... to view alternate futures. To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict. Peter Quill : How many did you see? Dr. Stephen Strange : Fourteen million six hundred and five. Tony Stark : How many did we win? Dr. Stephen Strange : ...One.

If there's only one timeline, then Dr. Strange is seeing nexus events and somehow interpreting them as possible timelines? Is that it? How does he see all these possibilities if there's only one way this can go? How does he later tell Tony that there's only one where they win, and Tony has to sacrifice himself? I have many questions.

The Avengers' Role

If, when watching Loki's trial, you went, "hey, wait, he's right!" then you already know what I'm going to say.

Let's look at the sacred timeline, right? There's one way that it's supposed to go, and that one way involves time travel to retrieve the stones and defeat Thanos in Avengers: Endgame. So... By that definition, what happens in Endgame where they fail to get the Tesseract is supposed to happen? Because I would think Captain America fighting himself would be a Nexus event, if I'm honest. And if that was supposed to happen, then Loki's escape was also supposed to happen, because the group later went to a different part of time to retrieve the infinity stone, and that didn't cause a Nexus event. They go to return the stone from that point in time that they got it in, too. It just... It doesn't make sense.

Sylvie

I have only one question. In the show, it depicts Sylvie as a woman as a child. But we've seen child Loki. So either Loki did flip-flop between genders as a child, or Sylvie grew up as a woman. If it's option a, then her Nexus event would've been changing her gender, and maybe preferring it over being a male? Which is kinda fucked up when you think about it. If it's option b, then her Nexus event was just being born a woman, which is also fucked up. The show never really explains what her Nexus event was, just that she was playing with a toy ship and suddenly arrested, and I really don't think that toy ship would've caused a butterfly effect so severe to warrant needing to deal with a variant.

So really, the question is, what the hell was her Nexus event?? Was she just needed to be displaced from time, to cause her vengeance, to cause her to wind up at the feet of He Who Remains? That's kind of underwhelming and stupid if that's the case.

Sylvie's Characterization

Okay I'm going to preface this with I liked Sylvie's concept. I kinda really liked the idea of a female Loki! The problem was that her character was handled very poorly. I'm just going to do a little list.

She's a romantic interest and a plot-leader

Sylvie was a very excellent character that turned into "man follows woman". Loki follows her for no reason other than she's supposed to be a mirror of himself that's a woman. It's seen rather quickly that he drools over her, since he's singing to her on the train. After that, he continues to talk about her and trust in her, going as far as to tell the other Lokis that she's the only one he trusts- which is rather foolish, if he knows himself he shouldn't trust any variation of himself. In fact, the only Loki that tries to help them is Classic Loki, who has all my respect, and it makes sense because he's older and wiser. It boils down to experience.

Other than Loki's romantic interest in her, she's the leader of the plot. She is the one that wants to take down the TVA. The way that she directs the plot has you believing that the show isn't about Loki, it's about Sylvie, who just happens to be a Loki.

She's a plot device

I put this under a separate bullet because I think there's a difference between a plot-leader and a plot device. As a plot-leader, she drives the plot, drives the revenge, gives Loki reason to what he does. As a plot device, she's used to show Loki does have feelings! Look he can fall in love! Look he trusts her! Look he's not a monster, forget about what he did to New York. He's changing so rapidly because the Power of Love, baby!

She's the only one serious about their mission for a good portion of the season, and after Loki finally gets on board, she betrays him. So the lesson is... Loki can't trust anyone??

Not to mention she has her own crisis in that final episode. If he knew she was coming, then what was her life? What was it all for? To get to that moment only to hear that the man you want to kill wants you to do it. To get to the end to hear that no matter what you do, he still wins. Her character arc was thrown away.

She's a genderbent version of Loki, rather than what Loki would've turned into

This goes back to what I said in the timeline portion of this vent post (because let's be honest, that's kinda what this is). Let's say all Lokis start at the same point, and any time a Loki diverged from the path set forth and impacted the surrounding environment, that made a Loki Variant. (I include that second point because Classic Loki played the part well, it wasn't until he tries to impact Earth with his return that he's taken into TVA custody.)

She should've shared experiences with Loki. Loki and Sylvie have a conversation about their childhoods, both of which are vastly different. Anything in her childhood should have been a nexus event. She's treated as an entirely separate entity rather than a version of Loki, with her own history and life. She's not Loki, she's Sylvie. It really boils down to that.

Problematic Christian Symbolism

This one is, again, more of a pet peeve, really, but uh...

I'm going to cite this post in specific. And I wanna make it clear I'm on the side of this person, they're right, it happened.

And I'm going to slowly look at the writers and wonder why characters from Norse mythology have a giant scene depicting a Christian reference.

Let me present my very little bare minimum research on the subject that the writers could've also done:

There is an equivalent to Adam and Eve called Ask and Embla. However, Ask and Embla are both born from a tree, rather than Eve from Adam's rib. The same article also punctuates that Ask and Embla could've originated from what I can only describe as colonialization- where certain people will go into different religions, write a mythos in the context of that religion that is very Christian in origin, and then publish that as a new myth. There's proof of this happening time and time again with all sorts of religions. Thanks, Christianity (not).

I found an essay comparing the original origin stories in the Norse and Christian mythology. In the original story, supposedly the armpit sweat of an evil titan produces the first man and woman, who go on to kill him, and then their lineage goes on to be the vikings. They are then blessed with different abilities by three gods, Odin, Hœnir/Hönir, and Lodur. So. No apple.

Another source, which I suspect to be through a Christian lense, talks about fruits (apples) that are kept in a box by a woman, and given to Gods at a young age in order for them to retain their immortality. Again, nothing evil about apples.

So... My point is that there's a 100% Christian/Christian-influenced reference in a show about Norse mythos. Sure, they have Loki sing a bit in Asguardian, and reference a saying in his home one (1) time, but maybe there was a better way to demonstrate the entire final episode than a simple Adam and Eve that reinforces "women are evil and ate the apple"?? Especially since women weren't treated like that in Viking society??

Conclusion

Loki is a character with anger, betrayal, fear, and distrust, which is revolved in 0.2 seconds with a therapy session and a man who calls him a baby and forces him to call himself weak and a fraud. He is then shown up numerous times by a "better", genderbent version of himself, who ultimately turns out to be "evil" and betrays Loki. Also, he gains romantic feelings for her.

The entire season felt like Tom Hiddleston cosplaying Loki. Thank you and goodnight.

[elenajohansenreads]

Books I Read in 2021

#55 - All In: Double or Nothing, by Lane Hart

Mount TBR: 52/100

Rating: 1/5 stars

I finished this solely because it was a constant train wreck and I wanted to see how the love triangle/menage crashed out in the end. It was not a good book, it did not have a good plot or good characters, and while I have no objection to indulging in a smut-fest for its own sake, honestly, the copious sex scenes weren't great either.

First, it can't decide if it's a menage romance or a love triangle, and in trying to split the difference, you end up with a lot of really awkward dynamics. Our heroine comes off as being a selfish, indecisive idiot who doesn't mind hurting these two men with her dithering, while Heroes #1 and #2, who were best friends before this woman entered their lives, are reduced to constant fighting (both with words and physical violence) about which one of them is going to "win" her. It's gross all around.

Second, it utterly fails at being a love triangle if that's what it really means to be, because Heroes #1 and #2 are basically indistinguishable from each other. Sure, they have different names, and are introduced with different hair colors on the heads that top their identical muscle-bound bodies. Okay, fine, they're both super hot, but they talk the same way, they both bond with the heroine in basically the same way--lots and lots of sex, and very little talking--and they're both immature jerks trying to one-up the other until the heroine finally decides on one of them. (To be slightly more fair, one of them is supposed to be a little more sweet, while the other is supposed to be a little more "caveman," but the difference between them only matters briefly at the beginning, then dissolves into no real difference at all when they both decide to be idiots about the whole situation.)

Third, the heroine's backstory is over-the-top tragic but doesn't actually matter, because the story isn't at all about any trauma she's suffered. I guess it's supposed to be a reason to pity her and let her get away with this awful behavior? But I don't buy that, and on a larger scale, it's Problematique (TM) to have your young heroine be traumatized and abused and a sex worker, and then make her a complete nympho in her personal life, because that says to me that, as a character, she's so damaged that the only way she can connect with someone is through sex, as a substitute for love, and that's not at all what this story is about! The narrative claims she's falling in love with both dudes, and the plot doesn't deal with her past in any significant way or show her growing as a person.

Fourth, the dudes are also pretty problematic, because one is a cop who meets the heroine when he responds to her car accident, and he immediately goes full-pervert and nearly drools on her while he's supposed to be doing his job. And then hits on her and asks her out while he's giving her a ride in his squad car. NO NO NO. Second dude is a little better when he first meets her, except they're at a bar (where she's supposed to be meeting dude #1, but he's late) and when she admits to being twenty, so she can't drink, he buys her a drink! Illegal! And then it's not entirely clear at first how drunk or sober she is when she bangs him later that night, until afterward when she's puking her guts up in his bathroom...so she definitely wasn't sober enough to consent to sex. Hero #2 got an underage woman drunk and took her home to bang her, and that's not what I want to see in my romantic leads.

Fifth, the plot makes no sense. There's very little of it, because this is smut, so I didn't expect much to string together the many sex scenes, but this plot? Makes no sense. There's actual cheating going on before the three of them enter the menage stage of the relationship, but instead of that being a deal-breaker for the cheated-upon party, they go for a shared-custody sort of situation and the shenanigans begin. Nobody acts in a way that makes any sense, except, notably, late in the story when the heroine is pissed that her men paid off her school tuition without asking her first, and they were boggled that she was angry. That was just about the only set of emotional reactions to anything in the whole story that felt genuine, because yes, they were being controlling when they thought they were being helpful, so of course they were confused by her anger.

Sixth--I won't spoil what the ending actually is, just in case anyone who gets this far in my review does honestly still want to read this book, but I will say that I was not satisfied by it.

I'm glad this was a freebie, I'm sorry I wasted a few hours reading it, and I won't be reading anything else by this author.

[bobasheebaby]

100 Roseanne Prompts

I usually try to stick to quotes that can work for everyone but some of these were too good to skip. Break at 15 like always. Request a show

1 “Hey, all our lives suck.” — Roseanne

2 “Here's why you can't trust your kids 'cause they're stupid. That's why we don't give 'em cars or booze.” — Roseanne

3 “Etsy is like a yard sale except online because nobody can afford a yard anymore.” — Darlene

4 “All of your relatives died from alcoholism. The ones that didn't drink were killed by the ones who did.” — Roseanne

5 “Did all of your children's deliveries go according to your birth plan?” “Um, they found their way out, if that's what you mean.” — Andrea & Roseanne

6 “You gotta pick your fights in life.” — Roseanne

7 “Okay, he doesn't have to wear pants, but he's gotta wear underwear.” — Dan

8 “It is not my fault that I just happen to be a charismatic person who's always right about everything.” — Roseanne

9 “Why are you picking on me? What, did I take the last doughnut, or something?” — Darlene

10 [Person B is embarrassed after walking in on Person C nursing her baby] “Oh, now, NAME. It's not like you've never seen breasts before.” “NAME’s my friend. As far as I'm concerned, she has no breasts... It works for me, okay?” — Roseanne & Dan

11 “The car has heated seats? Thank God, I thought I was going through the change.” — Roseanne

12 [stoned and laying the bathtub] “Is this the sink? Am I shrinking?” — Jackie

13 “In this house, I'm in charge and father knows squat.” — Roseanne

14 “What's up? I smell fear. I love that smell! But what's up?” — Roseanne

15 “Do you have anything sharp I can stick in my eye?” — Dan

16 “You are really, really gettin' on my nerves today, man! I mean more than usual!” — Dan

17 “Well, you think you can stop me from seeing NAME, huh?” “I think I can stop you from seeing tomorrow.” — Mark & Dan

18 “You were always trying to push us apart. You were always putting me down!” — Mark Healey

19 “My marriage is not based on me listening!” — Roseanne

20 “Why don't you just kiss my butt?” “Well, haul it on over here, Jumbo!” — Becky & Darlene

21 “You are just evil!” — Jackie

22 “Oh good, go for the guilt. You better take a looong, hard look at yourself, NAME, 'cause if you are this obsessed with my life, there is obviously something missing from yours.” “Just figure that out?” — Jackie & Roseanne

23 “I thought you were just gonna go over there and scare him/her?” “Well, it started out that way.” — Roseanne & Dan

24 “Being your own boss isn't that great of a deal. Last week I sexually harassed myself.” — Dan

25 “Hell, even I don't hate her that much.” — Dan

26 “Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous.” “Just don't shoot any milk out of you nose, and you'll be fine.” — Becky & Roseanne

27 “Please, NAME, I don't want you to help me, I just want you to leave me alone ... Please.” — Darlene

28 “Don’t toy with me, NAME.” — Roseanne

29 “We, have had a fight, and we're not speaking to each other.” “Oh, well, what was the fight about? Maybe I can take a side.” — Roseanne & Jackie

30 “He/She wanted to do something; I didn't feel like it.” “Yeah, well, so what are you going to do?” “Nothing.” “That's what you did last weekend!” “Yeah, well I'm not finished.” — Darlene & Roseanne

31 “No, NAME always was the bad influence.” — Roseanne

32 “Talking - it's like yelling, only not as loud.” — Roseanne

33 “Yeah, but you know what they say, NAME. They say, ah, when you really love something you should, you know, make it go away or get rid of it, or whatever.” — Roseanne

34 “You're acting like a crazed psychopath.” [snorts] “Well the voices in my head disagree.” — Dan & Roseanne

35 [on getting married] “I always thought it was the smartest thing I ever did. You obviously don't agree.” “No, I do agree with you, it was the smartest thing you ever did, but we're talking about me now!” — Dan & Roseanne

36 [Person A and Person B bury the hatchet] “So, I guess we've finally approached the end of Bitch-Fest YEAR.” “Oh what a time we had!” — Roseanne & Darlene

37 “You can't tell NAME what to do. She's a big girl!” [snarls] “Compared to who?” — David & Roseanne

38 “What kind of list is he/she making? Not that it's any of my business.” “A hit list.” — Beverly & Dan

39 [feeling for pulse] “I think he’s/she's dead.” [steps back] “Check again.” “I know how to count to zero.” — Roseanne & Dan

40 “What was the second thing you noticed about me?” — Roseanne

41 “Aw, get off the sympathy wagon, NAME; there were plenty of guys/girls standing in line for you to treat 'em like dirt. I was just the lucky one.” — Dan

42 “You are rotten rotten kids, and I can't even believe I'm related to you two!” — Jackie Harris

43 “You'll just do something stupid that you're going to regret later.” — Roseanne

44 “I'm your husband/wife. That's my right.” — Dan

45 [finds present] “You're not going to open it, are you? It's two days away.” “Yea! Well I need time to practice pretending like I like it.” [pulls something ugly from the box] “Oh man, I should'a opened it a week ago.” — Jackie & Roseanne

46 “Oh, this is going to be soooo great!” — Darlene

47 “What's the catch?” “No catch, can't we do something nice?” “I don't know, you never have.” — Roseanne & Becky

48 “Oh my God. You're kidding me!” — Roseanne

49 “Save your breath, NAME, you're not gonna talk me into dropping this lawsuit.” “Well, maybe I can talk you into begging for your life.” — Fred & Roseanne

50 “I'm way more powerful than any law!” — Roseanne

51 “Well NAME, I guess you're just not the man/woman I thought you were ... and I wasn't too happy with that one!” — Roseanne

52 “We should've known, NAME, men stick together no matter how butt headed their argument is.” — Becky

53 [about Person b and person c’s sex life] “You're kidding? You guys have a night?” “Yes, we have a night. It's not only Wednesday, but it's always Wednesday.” You have a time too?” “Yeah. Twenty minutes, or until he gets a cramp.” “Well, you should make him wait half-an-hour after he eats.” — Jackie & Roseanne

54 “Oh, c'mon. Just because you guys aren't having "Wednesday", doesn't mean he’s/she's out ... "Wednesday-ing" somebody else.” — Jackie

55 “What's the matter with you, boy/girl? Can't keep your pants on?” — Dan

56 “Damn women! Who the hell do they think they are!” “We are sugar and spice, and everything nice. So bite me!” — Dan & Roseanne

57 “Have you met NAME?” — Roseanne

58 “Gee, I'd love to NAME, but I'd rather stay home and drill some screws into my toes.” — Darlene

59 “Remember one thing, NAME, I'm your worst nightmare!” — Jackie

60 “You always say how you want better things for us.” “Ah, yea, but I was talking about me and your Dad. You kids already got it too good.” — Becky & Roseanne

61 “You are a controlling bitch!” — Dan

62 “Boy I'll tell you, I wish I had never m - -“ “What? Say it.” “Nothin'.” “Well that makes two of us.“ — Dan & Roseanne

63 “Ooohhh, we all know what this is about, don't we? You're just jealous because I've made something of myself.” “Yeah, an ass ... And where do you get that hoity-toity accent anyway? You're from PLACE!” — Ronnie & Roseanne

64 “I can't believe that I wasted TIME hating you for something as stupid as a wedding, when there's a very good reason to hate you. You're a bitch!” [gasps] “I'm a bitch? Hah! I bow to the queen of all bitches.” — Roseanne & Ronnie

65 “Look me in the eye and tell me it was an accident. And remember ... I can tell when you're lying.” “It was an accident ... could you tell?” — Roseanne & DJ

66 “I could go for something to eat.” “Yeah? Well, then go.” [motions toward the door] — Arnie & Roseanne

67 “You're going to flunk marriage if you can't pass the oral ... oh my God ...” “We know too much, we know too much.” — Dan & Fred

68 “NAME, where'd you get those jelly beans?” “From the bin at store.” “NAME, I told you, you gotta finish eating them while you're in the store, 'else it's stealing!” — Roseanne & DJ

69 “I never thought I would say this ... I'm too depressed to drink.” — Dan

70 “Let's just cut the crap, okay. You're talking to NAME’s mother here, the mother of all mothers and she is majorly mad.” — Roseanne

71 “NAME, NAME, NAME. I have raised two of the best damn liars in the free world. Don't embarrass yourself.” — Roseanne

72 “This is for the pain.” “Owwww. Make it a double.” — Nurse & Jackie

73 “I hate to see you laying here in pain like this.” “Well actually, ever since he/she gave me that shot, I'm feelin' kinda neat.” — Gary & Jackie

74 “I want someone who will love me and support me no matter what. Just like NAME does for you.” “Are you insane! You know how many years I had to put into NAME? You think he/she came out of a box like that!” — Jackie & Roseanne

75 “What do you think your punishment oughta be?” “What do you mean?” “NAME told me everything.” “That little rat.” “But I told him/her I wasn't going to do anything until I get your side of the story.” “Well first we, wait a minute, uh, uh --“ “You're getting good.” — Roseanne & Becky

76 “I worked it out with NAME, he’s/she's gonna stay here and babysit and I'm gonna go out.” “Why would he/she do that?” “I have dirt on him/her. “ “What kind of dirt?” “Now if I told you, I'd have to stay home.” [person a leaves] — Darlene & Roseanne

77 [Person A is acting like a hunchback] “I brought the baggage master, where do you wish me to put it?” “Just put it anywhere Igor.” “Maybe later you and me.” “We'll see.” You're so kind.” [ kisses hand] — Dan & Roseanne

78 [about child’s behavior] “NAME you did stuff like that when you were NAME’s age right?” “No, the boy's odd.” — Roseanne & Dan

79 [offering to the family] “Hey, I got one more pancake.” “I want French toast!” “Well, you better move to Europe.” — Roseanne & DJ

80 [Person A, angry, grabs keys and leaves the house] “Oh God. This is really bad.” “Yeah, I know.” “Oh no. I mean, this is really bad. I'm parked behind him/her.” — Jackie & Dan

81 “Yeah, I do. And we're not going to put him/her through that again, are we?” — Dan

82 [comes in through the front door] “NAME, you all ready to go?” [whining] “I don't wa-haant to-o-o-o! I feel like a used piece of gum that somebody stuck under the table, just waiting for the excitement of drying up and hitting the floor.” — Jackie & Roseanne

83 “You HAVE to take this job ... you're the only one that applied!” — Marsha

84 [grabs the syrup bottle and comes up behind PERSON B] “Remember me, NAME?” [look of terror] “Not Mrs. Butterworth ... please not Mrs. Butterworth.” “Remember how your brother/sister NAME told you how I came to life at night in the cupboard? Remember how I would chase you around even though I have no legs? Well I'm back and I just want one more sticky kiss!” [PERSON B screams] — Roseanne & Jackie

85 “I hope I see you later, I mean, a lot later.” — Roseanne

86 [after the birth] “I didn't call you any horrible names back there, did I?” “No more than usual.” — Roseanne & Dan

87 [about kid dressed as a lawyer] “That's the scariest costume all night.” — Roseanne

88 [going through the candy bowl] “This is all sugar in here.” “Not true, there're chemicals too.” — David & Roseanne

89 “You should be giving children the stuff their bodies need.” [gets fruit from the kitchen] “What the hell is that?” “Wait a minute, honey, I've seen this before, it's food that doesn't come in a wrapper.” “That's unsanitary.” — David, Roseanne & Dan

90 “Did you see the Great Pumpkin last night?” “No, NAME wore pajamas.” — Jackie & Roseanne

91 [discussing Person C] “She's rude and selfish.” “I know, but, inside she's just a ... scared little girl.” Yeah, and I know what's scaring her, the raging bitch on the outside.” — Dan & Roseanne

92 “I'll be back later to give you your present.” “Why can't I just open it now?” “I haven't bought it yet.” — Jackie & Roseanne

93 “And don't you ever feed my dog!” “If I get drunk enough, I'll fight your dog!” — Roseanne

94 “I really don't think it's wise for anyone in this family to be giving away livers.” — Beverly

95 “Say 'I'm not taking any crap from anyone'.” “I am ...” “Stop! It's not 'I am', it's 'I'm'.” “I'm not taking any... do I have to say the C word?” “Yes you do, NAME, because that's the most important word.” “I'm not taking any crap from anyone.” “That was good but are you serving tea, NAME? Get mad and say it.” [louder] “I'm not taking any crap from anyone!” “Good, now personalize it, make it your own.” [louder] “I'm not taking any damn crap from anyone!” — Roseanne & Doris

96 “Hey, where's my 'My other mug is a shot glass' mug?” — Roseanne

97 “Why are you gettin' so mad at me?” “Because you are making me defend NAME.” — Becky & Roseanne

98 “I am not sexist. I'm much too frightened of women to be sexist.” — David

99 “Get me a beer.” “Get it yourself, slob!” — Mark & Darlene

100 “I can't believe you're jealous over this.” “Why not? It's very typical of me.”

[bobbystompy]

68 Quotes I Enjoyed From 2019

Below are my favorite quotes from 2019. Though most occurred throughout the year, some took place before but were encountered during.

1) “I don’t bitch about Millenials.

John Entwistle once complained that he didn’t understand rap. Pete Townsend said, ‘It’s not our job to understand it. It’s our job to get the fuck out of the way.’

New generations come of age. The older generation’s job is to shut up and adapt.” - @danagould

2) “I can’t do drugs with you until we kiss.”

3) “If you pay me $50 I'll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.” - @DanaSchwartzzz

4) “A human being is a dangerous thing to let loose in a room with itself, when it cannot think.” - Roger Ebert

5) “There are no bad bourbons, only better bourbons.” - Dave Hernandez

6) “You can’t put a dollar in a kimono.”

7) “This is how it was.” - rampant takeaway from watching ‘Superbad’ several years after its release

8) “What if I had been born fifty years before you in a house on the street where you lived / Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike / Would I know? / And in a wide sea of eyes, I see one pair that I recognize” - Ben Folds, ‘The Luckiest’

9) “Learn the rules so you can break them.”

10) “Nobody makes chili for two.” - Stacy Massey

11) “‘Best city in the world,’ I mutter to myself, as i adjust my ‘driving blanket’.” - Chicago resident Deanna Belos, during the 2019 Polar Vortex

12) “Dude, no one’s ever got arrested for listening to Counting Crows.” - Ricky O’Donnell, justifying late night music volume at his party

13) Bill Belichick: We’re going to have fun tonight. Rob Gronkowski: Yes we are. We deserve it. Belichick: You’re damn right. Gronk: I haven’t stepped out in like eight months. I gotta step out tonight. Belichick: I’m with you, man. I’m even going to step out. Gronk: Oh, I like it!

A Super Bowl winning exchange.

14) Center David Andrews thanked Bill Belichick for giving him "a shot".

Belichick disagreed with it.

Andrews: Thank you for giving me a shot. Belichick: A shot? I didn't give you shit. You earned it! I don't give anything.

Another Super Bowl winning exchange.

15) “We elected one of the very worst living human beings to be President, and it's exhausting. Each and every day, it's an exhausting slog, just to exist in a world where that's true.” - Michael Schur

16) “Some of y’all always picked Odd Job when you played Goldeneye and it shows” - @thedad

17) “Any app is a dating app if you try hard enough.” - Z.W. Martin (though he says it’s lifted)

18) "Once you're as woke as I am, you learn to feel bad all the time.”

19) “Everything’s a balance beam when you’re 90.” - John Dingell

20) [I wake up in a world where The Beatles never existed]

Me: Check out this song I just wrote

[I begin playing “Ob La Di Ob La Da” without having first built up years of goodwill]

Crowd of people: Wow, this sucks ass

-- @seanoneal

21) “People change people.” - Corey Matthews, Girl Meets World

22) “The easiest thing to do on earth is not write.” - William Goldman

23) “Dan could be like a difficult uncle. I didn’t love his fire-breathing conservative politics. I didn’t love the transformation that came over his novels. In Semi-Tough, he created two benighted Texas jocks and laid their prejudices bare. He was declaring himself a member of the Mark Twain coaching tree. In later books, Dan seemed to be trying to prove he could still tell a racist joke. He insisted that his memoir—the last truly immaculate piece of writing he delivered—include a tirade against political correctness. When his editor said people might be offended, Dan said, ‘Fuck people.’

There are certain writers whose style you pilfer. Certain writers whose moral fiber you try to inherit. For me, Dan represented a third category: a writer whose aura you replicate—or, failing that, try to stand in for a while.” - Bryan Curtis, on Dan Jenkins

24) “Never marry anything. Never choose. Even in love, it's better to be chosen.” - La Dolce Vita

25) “An uncluttered, uncomplicated happy ending might sound wonderful, but it’s hardly ever satisfying. Because the value of great stories lies in the tension between desire and need, between the yearning for the ideal, and the unshakable conviction that ideals don’t really exist, at least not the way we want them to. A great story should hurt a little when it leaves us. There should be some hope, but that hope should remain somewhere just an inch beyond our fingers, because that’s the truth. Even if you had all the perfect moments in the world, you’d still be reaching.” - Zach Handlen, on the Futurama series finale

26) “You can’t see him because he has sunglasses on.” - Alissa Levy

27) “The cinema is the greatest art form ever conceived for generating emotions in its audience. That's what it does best. (If you argue instead for dance or music, drama or painting, I will reply that the cinema incorporates all of these arts).” - Roger Ebert

28) “‘Are you gonna let politics ruin a friendship?’ 

Yes tf I am

People talk about politics as if it’s this isolated, abstract concept that only matters at election time. Somebody’s politics is their world view. It’s whether they think certain human beings deserve rights. It’s how they think the world should be. And if somebody thinks that the world should be colder, meaner, less accepting and downright hostile to people that are different to them, then sure as fuck is the friendship over.”

29) “Can the Supreme Court get me mushrooms?” - J-Papp

30) “Any song under two minutes already has a head start on its way into my heart. Just scream at me and then leave me.” - Drew Magary

31) “Long neck cold beers never broke my heart.” - Clemson Tom

32) “I’d just like to point out that the last spoken words of Game of Thrones were: 

‘I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel.’”

- @Authoroux

33) “Just once before I die, I want to toss my keys to someone and tell them ‘Bring the car around’.” - Mike Skully

34) “For all the weight they're given, last words are usually as significant as first words.” - Grand Maester Pycelle, Game of Thrones

35) “The best remedy for unrequited love is a trip around the world.” - Cheers

36) [on switching from a hotel to a motel]

Manny: I don't like the sound of that. A lot of amenities disappear when an H turns into an M. Jay: Hey when I met you, you were eating cereal out of a bucket.

-- Modern Family

37) “You and Lindsey don’t want to be ‘estranged’. Estranged is the relationship we want to have with our mothers.” - MegFil

38) “Cigarettes are undefeated.”

39) “My toes are like my fingers on my feet. I can pick stuff up with them.” - Tracy Cunningham

40) “Republicans govern without shame, Democrats shame without governing.” - Bill Maher

41) Sam: I don’t understand the vagaries of the Internet Josiah: Post often, without thought, and you’ll either get cancelled or cancel someone else.

-- Blink-155

42) “Hang a lantern on your problems.”

43) “What a weird web we weave.” - The Situation, The Jersey Shore: Family Vacation

44) “Let the ocean worry about being blue.” - Alabama Shakes, ‘Hang Loose’

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45) “Honesty without tact is cruelty.” - Shelley Rokos

46) “My whole life is the wrong porn link.”

47) “One parent can take care of 10 kids, but 10 kids cannot take care of one parent.” - Joe Gestetner, via “an old Yiddish saying”

48) “There are no heroes in the room.” - Classics of Love, ‘Gun Show’

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49) “If I am a little dismissive, it's only because of my harrowing backstory.” - Mitchell, Modern Family (on why he doesn't like sports)

50) “Every time I’m wearing black, I meet a dog.” - Tracy Cunningham

51) “Shower sex? Why would I fuck in my crying chamber” - @chridollarsign

52) “My theory about quarterbacks, having written about some of them, is you either have to believe in god or think you are a god.” - Mina Kimes

53) “The contradictions of capitalism always manifest in our lyrics if you look deeply.” - Blake Schwarzenbach of Jawbreaker, Riot Fest 2019

54) “Got a ‘hang loose’ from the weakside bartender.”

55) “It’s Jennifer’s birthday always.” - Eric Hutchinson 

56) “I can’t think of a less relevant artist in 2019 than Kanye West. A Jesus freak in a MAGA hat. Yeah, congrats dude -- you’re every grandma who watches ‘Young Sheldon’ and mails checks to Joel Osteen now.” - Dan Ozzi

57) “The past and future are in the mind. I’m in the now.” - Tom Brady, via someone else

58) “Sometimes you walk around boring places and you feel like the most exciting thing in it.” - Drew Magary

59) “Sitting is the new smoking.” - Modern Family

60) “I'll straight up fight folks at a book club and discuss books at a fight club I really don't give a shit anymore.” - George Wallace

61) “Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - Rose Garvey via wine country

62) “It’s all ‘ok boomer’ until you need someone who can drive stick shift.” - @OrdinaryAlso

63) “He likes the result of the math.” - Dad, talking about my worst subject frustrating during the process but satisfying in the end

64) Stepmom: Do you want a Bears urn or Alabama urn? Dad: Ask me after they play Auburn.

65) “A cold body carries a warm heart.” - Stefanos Tsitsipas’ Instagram, after his Iceland sabbatical

66) [preparing a dish called the Sandwich of Justice with his friend’s recipe]

"The fun thing about it is when you give it to someone, you can say 'Justice is served.’ That's, uh, Ryan's line. I built my whole life on the backs of my friends." - You Suck At Cooking

67) “Usually three people can keep a secret only when two of them are dead.” - The Irishman

68) “An artist can't control who consumes their content any more than a chemist can control how their chemicals are used once they're created.” - Brian Crooks

[thatmediocrestreamer]

Another year almost gone, let's look back!

Welp, another year has gone by in this mortal coil, and I feel as though I've come a long way forward and gone a long way back in the process this year. There are many things I COULD write about on this blog, but for want of not rambling like a loon, I'll attempt this brief sentences thing like on twatter.

Part 1:New year. New girlfriend. New job. New hope? No hope.

Well, first things first, as I rang in 2018, I was seeing a girl who lived a hundred and odd miles up north, in a little town called Blackpool, a seaside town that up to then, I'd loved visiting.

Isn't it sad when people show true colours?

I learned very quickly at the start of 2018 that it only takes a short time for someone to demonstrate what they can truly be like, and the moment I did, boy did things take a sudden nose-dive from there.

The great Christmas bitch-fest of 2017

I'd agreed to spend Christmas of 2017 in Blackpool with the ex and her daughter. That was mistake number one. I'll never abandon family again, especially not when this year, my mum sadly suffered a stroke while I was in Blackpool, leading me to basically feel as though I didn't want to be there at all. The ex actually helped me feel at ease about it all, and comforted me in my time of need, ostensibly reassuring me it'd all be okay, and to her credit, it mostly was.

The wicked psycho witch of the North West.

The now-ex girlfriend from Blackpool was absolutely lovely as a person, right up until her mother came on to the scene.

Now, this was one hella poisonous witch of a woman. One who basically told me that because MY OWN DAUGHTER lives with my ex, her birth mother (a normal thing, no?) that I was not allowed to send her birthday and Christmas money, despite the two falling in a week of one another, purely on the grounds of dating someone else. I’m selfish and unfair for doing that, apparently. This coming from a psychopathic apparent psychologist who’s only marketable skill is causing total ructions with anyone she meets. So that, right there, landed strike one for Team Blackpool.

Apparently, I'm controlling, abusive and manipulative, don't you know?

The next mental alarm bell was set off in the form of me being branded controlling, just for helping said ex, who is rather short in stature, to rearrange her kitchen cupboards so things she needed most frequently were more easily accessible. Again, a perfectly reasonable thing to do, help out someone you care for, you'd think? BUT NO! I got branded as a control freak for this simple gesture of kindness.

So, we're two months in, and it's already two strikes for Team Blackpool, But the best is saved for last.

Christmas at Ground Zero.

The final malaise is more a three-part saga than a termination of ways. So, best to Buckle up.

The Google Home Sex- shopping list Saga

First in the trio of amusing things that led to the breakdown of me and the ex, was her receipt of a Google Home Mini for Christmas. (I'm gonna assume that, because you're on a Tumblr blog, you know what a Google Home is.) So anyway, it's Christmas day, her mum had come round to deliver some of the presents before going home and returning later to do dinner (the one nice thing she actually did the whole time I was there.) The ex had become fixated by the fact she'd received this Google Home Mini, and so we tested it's capabilities to the absolute max, even Going as far as to add sex- toys to a shopping list, along with concrete shoes and other amusing items, just because we both had a sick sense of humour.

Her mum came back and she was literally having not a single bit of it. This resulted in ANOTHER argument over the Christmas dinner table, again instigated by her mum, and again, totally uncalled for. So I proceed to lock myself in the ex's room, playing GTA the rest of Xmas day, to make sure I didn't have to deal with any more of it.

The intervention I neither needed, wanted or asked for.

So, it's Boxing day, a time for happiness, being thankful and general good cheer, but not in that household. So, because I'd decided that the best option to alleviate issues and discourse was to stay in the ex's bedroom on the PlayStation, a strategy that had mostly worked until that point. But not that evening. Her mum decided that the best way to make things better was by inviting her friends round and literally picking me apart downstairs while I listened. She made a passing comment about "he needs to get off his fucking arse and stop playing the computer games and get a job if he wants to support my daughter and my granddaughter." Of course I had none of that, and proceeded to sit at the top of the stairs listening, not appreciating being critiqued by someone who literally knew nothing about me. Then a full blown ruckus ensued downstairs where they demanded I come down before I got dragged down, and had police and my ex's dad threatened on me if I didnt. But what use was it? She wouldn't listen to a single word I said, and even went as far as saying that I ruined HER Christmas! Bitch please, what about mine huh?

The secret friend turned best mate, and the parting of ways.

Before the Christmas period, I had become friendly with a girl called Jen, who, to her credit has now become one of my best friends, and one of my other best friends lives with her as a partner (GG ReaverAF.) All too often though, people have mistaken my kindness for me being flirtatious. To that end, I can sort of see what the ex's point was, as I had asked Jen a few questions about if someone were to take her on a date, what would it be and why? Yeah that could be misconstrued as flirting to the wrong eyes, but nonetheless, that's irrelevant in a way to whats to come.

Things were at this point, not good with me and the ex, with her mum's attitude towards me, and the ex herself being in possession of a selfishness so strong it puts most self-absorbed narcissists to shame (not going into the whys though.) The final nail in Blackpool's coffin came in the form of the ex's overwhelming paranoia about what me and Jen had been discussing, so she waited until I was asleep and physically went through my phone to see it for herself. She found almost nothing of an overly incriminating nature, however still used this as fuel for blabbing to a lot of people, and alongside this, proceeding to wake me up from my reverie the morning I was due to return home to Nottingham, to have a FULL BLOWN argument about it all in front of a TWO YEAR OLD CHILD. As someone with children of my own, however, I was having literally not a peep of it, and so proceeded to pack my belongings, book a taxi and get out of there, not ever looking back on Blackpool again.

Two good things came out of Blackpool though, I gained two friends for life In John and Jen, and I also came away from there having been given a job by John!

Part 2 next week. :)

[milkyetoile]

I woke up early last Monday so I could catch the Under My Skin streaming before it ended. I didn't realize I got the link already bc my email registered it as spam smh

anyway, it was amazing!! as expected from my favorite local theater ❤️ it was a play about HIV. I didn't know they actually set the play up to be recorded earlier this year. I was expecting it to be a recording from their 2020 staging. that was super cool. they even added some nice post-processed effects :o there were some parts where I was kinda "no, don't look at the camera! that's too much eye contact if I was actually watching in theater!" lmao but maybe that's just me 😂

production-wise, it was really great. I particularly liked how they handled the drama with the main characters. I almost thought they were going with the relationships ending and idk cheating getting involved (I mean a guy, his ex, and their current boyfriends? it was almost a setup lol). but they didn't! it was just them being genuinely supportive and yes, clearly, it's possible to have a healthy relationship with your ex. also the other characters shown were great examples of how there's still this fucking stigma over being sex-positive among other things.

Under My Skin was a play clearly meant to educate about HIV, specifically to clarify the current local situation. it was refreshing to see that, while it drives the point of how serious the condition is, the play remained more of a message of hope that having HIV is no longer a death sentence and manageable with the current research and treatment available. and most of it is free!

I can actually confirm this is true since I went to a nearby HIV clinic to get tested I think a year or so ago? when there was a mass testing drive going on. I was sure I don't have it, but I wanted to learn more about how things were done. and there was a tiny chance I could have gotten infected somewhere, like needles, though unlikely. the clinic was great! everyone was very kind and informative. there was a clear effort in making it a safe space. the testing was done quickly and they were having lectures on HIV while waiting. I was really amazed at how the clinic was run. aside from testing, meds are offered for FREE to those who tested positive along with counseling on how to proceed. it made me really glad to see it in person.

Under My Skin emphasized how, right now, it's not even HIV that's the problem. it's the ignorance and stigma surrounding it that's preventing people from getting tested and treated.

great work from PETA Theater ❤️ I'm looking forward to more plays in the future!! I'm really hoping they can eventually turn Walang Aray from the lab fest into a full musical production because that was just *chef's kiss*

(also it kinda annoys me that I need to clarify that when I say PETA, I mean the wonderful Philippine Educational Theater Association. blegh what an unfortunate coincidence in acronyms)

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

16 - Is This A Good Idea

This chapters songs:

These Days - The Wallows

Stay away (it's like that) - TV Girl

Verbatim - Mother Mother

- Y. L. Perspective

It was Monday once again, and I was sitting down at the freakishly clean lunch table, where I nervously waited for my friends' long-awaited responses. "So? Do you guys wanna...say something?"

Everybody sat with their eyes wide, surprised at my explanation of how the other night came to be.

"You're telling me...that...you and Sugawara..were a thing this whole time?!" Giki slams her palms onto the table, catching the attention of a few people around us. "AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL US...?!"

Toruku puts his finger over her mouth, still keeping his eyes on me. I wasn't very confident that my friends would understand that Koushi and I had loved each other for quite a while. But I had to tell them sooner or later. And before anything is official between us, I'd like to tell them. They're my family, after all.

"Are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend?" Hikishi curls his brows, fishing out some rice on his chopsticks, and shoving it into his mouth. "Damn, I knew something was going on between you guys!"

Giki slaps Toruku's finger away, rolling her eyes. She twirls her short black hair in her fingers, still curious about my relationship with a boy they had only met a few times. "I thought that you said you were just friends? Not that I'm against it.. but.. how come you didn't tell us?"

Toruku chimes in, "Is this why you talk about him so much? Or why you've been so distant recently?" His words make me think back to the many times I had listened to their conversations more than discuss with them anything that happened with me.

"I guess I was just scared you guys would think I'm getting myself into trouble or something. I mean, none of you have got your eye on anyone, right?" I look at the three as they all shake their heads. "Look, we're not a couple or anything. We're just... overthinking things."

I loudly, laying my head down on the table. Truth was, I'd been wondering whether or not being in a relationship with Koushi was a smart idea. All I needed was a chance to go through my options and stop to think. Thankfully, Hikishi taps my head, pulling my attention towards him, Giki, and Toruku.

"Hey, we're still your friends, you know. It doesn't matter who you like, we're always here to talk and give you advice. Besides, we all like Sugawara! He's nice and treats you good," Hikishi says, turning to his friends for reassurance. "Right guys?"

They nod, leaning close towards each other to make a small oddly shaped circle. "Yeah, of course. Now, spill, Y/n! What has been happening ever since the party?"

"Uh, yes. On a walk home, we had both agreed to wait a little bit to figure out our feelings, but it was more so that I could realize mine. It wasn't so bad, though. I had time for myself and to spend some time with the volleyball team. They're loud and crazy, but they're fun. I can't believe they're all so respectful considering they're teenage boys. Anyway, we kept talking casually as two people who liked each other would!" I take a sip of my juice box, taking a deep breath from explaining so much. Still, my friends were all ears, leaning back to hear the frightening love story of Koushi and me. "After Oikawa had seen me at the party, he tried texting me a few days later, saying he wanted to talk. I brushed it off casually as any other person who's been in drama with him would and told him I was busy. But on the day of the practice game, I saw him there! He and Oikawa. Supposedly, they're the two best players on the Aoba Johsai Volleyball team."

"Oh..does that mean you have beef with them not only because of that party and because of volleyball?" Giki asks. By "you guys", she meant Toruku and me.

I nod, slapping my forehead. "Yup. And that's not even the worst part! We have to play in a spring tournament with them, which means seeing them more than what I'm comfortable with. On the day of the game, I bumped into Hajime in the hall. He didn't cause any trouble! He was nice and apologized and everything, surprisingly. I explained how I was there as a manager, not some creepy stalker, and even got to talk a bit about how life's been treating us. As for Oikawa, he didn't say much. He saw that I was at their game as a manager, but never confronted me about it. I'm sure Hajime had enlightened him on how I was a part of the volleyball team. Still, he could have told me something if he claims he wanted to talk so badly! Koushi noticed how I was acting strange when he entered the room and confronted me about it when we got to my house."

Toruku raises a brow, asking, "your house? So he spends the night now?"

"N-no! Well, he's never actually stayed an entire night. He usually just comes over towards night and leaves around two or three in the morning. I think his dad might be strict about him staying out late, so that's probably why he has to sneak back home. Anyway, after I had told him what happened, he understood, and eventually, we began talking about ourselves. God, it felt so good to tell him how I felt. And I know now that I didn't just like Koushi, I was in love with him. He just makes me feel safe and knows me so well. If we weren't separated by an entire school year, I'm sure I would have realized it sooner, but I do love him. A lot, actually. And if I'm being brutally honest, I don't care we only have a year to be together." For a second, I forgot that my friends had opinions of their own and began to blabber on about how much I liked Suga. They all looked as if they were just given a box or issues to solve. "So...do you guys think I should?”

None of them mutter a word and instead trade worried expressions, then look back at me. "Look,

Y/n. I don't think any of us have ever experienced this entire 'love' thing except for you and Toruku, so I don't think that our opinions would help very much. But..we can all agree that you've cheered up ever since you started hanging out with Sugawara. Hell, even your chords have been getting better. We've never seen you so happy before. So if you really love him, then we respect your decision to be with him." Hikishi smiles brightly at me, as Toruku and Giki nod along with his words.

I sigh, very relieved that I had such wonderful friends. They were here for me before I even got to find myself and my talents. How could I doubt that they wouldn't be supportive? It's them, after all. "That amazing, thank you, guys." I smile back, looking down at the poke bowl I'd brought in my bento today. "Now that that's over, we should probably make plans for our schedule. It's been quite some time since we've talked about it."

"Ah, yes!" Giki exclaims, shoving her hands into her school bag and fishing out a large piece of paper. "So, I just got this flyer for a band competition coming up. It's in about a month, so that gives us some time to come up with some ideas for songs and practice."

Each of us passes around the flyer, observing its letters. Although it was written in lazy lettering and small pictures, we knew it wasn't something to brush off. Booking gigs and getting our name out to the public was what we needed. Ever since we had published a small album of some scraps from a few songs we'd written, we've only gotten people from our families, school, and some friends we knew in the industry. And before we would sign with my aunt, she wanted for us to gain a few more supporters and fans to help us get the word out further.

Giki nods, happily drumming her fingers on the table. "Yup! I already signed us up. Since the festival has gotten much more popular, I'm sure there will be a lot of people there!"

"Great, that gives us something to look forward to. Now, for what to choose as the song..." I lean onto my elbow, stared down by my band members. They all raise their brows at me. "...what?"

"Word on the street is that Summer's Amp Fest is looking for more than just what people can cover. They're looking for authenticity. We think it would be best to come up with something of our own, " Toruku explains. Still, I'm confused as to why they look to me for help.

"So..?"

"So... do you wanna come up with some lyrics?" In surprise of Giki's question, I began choking on my salmon. 'Write a song? I hope they only mean words and not notes as well. I've never been asked such a thing from my band.' I think to myself, choking in distress while Hikishi handed me a cup of water.

I down the entire thing, steering the coughing to a halt. And not long after do I ask, "you mean, like, write an entire song?! Look, I'm flattered and all, but I'm not very good!"

"Come on! You're the one who knows their way with words, Y/n! You've written a few others in the past, why not do it now?" Toruku pleads.

"Because it's so stressful! And only in a month? Can we even be prepared by then?!" I yell out. "Besides, what would I even write about? It's not like my life is any more interesting or sad than you guys!"

"Tch, you're in love for Christ's sake! That's what most artists write about! Take a look at TV girl— all they sing are songs about being addicted to cigarettes, sex, and heartbreak. You can do it, Y/n!" Hikishi claps his hands together. "As long as it's impactful and sounds good, then I think we'll be fine."

"Yeah! If you'd like, you can even talk to Suga about it! Maybe he can help too," Giki suggests.

I frown, scared that when the time comes, I'll disappoint my friends. All I've ever written are a few words and such. Almost all our songs are instrumentals with one or two verses. "I don't know, you guys. What if I make something super cringe and bad?"

"Y/n, you've got everything you need to write a full song. All we're asking for is authenticity and emotion. Not much! Look, me and Hikishi will take care of the chords and notes. Giki can get everything prepared for us, and you can write the lyrics! A good song will get us in the spotlight," Toruku explains.

Although I had doubts about my talents, I had hope that I could grow a pair and put in some effort into a song.

"Okay then. It can't be too hard, right?"

-

"Koushi, this is so hard! There's nothing I have in mind!" I whine to him as we walk to the clubrooms. School had just ended and volleyball practice was next on our agenda. Today, the so-called so "guardian" was to come back from some kind of secondary school he attended.

The boy pats my back as I throw my head back. "Don't stress it, Y/n. They said it was around a month away, right? That gives you a lot of time to come up with something. And if you'd like, I can even help you. Though, I'm not sure I'm very good with words," he chuckles, running his hand through his hair.

"Really now? Your little letter says otherwise," I say, turning Koushi's cheeks crimson. As much as I wanted to go further into the playful argument, locker rooms were just up ahead. We departed before continuing.

Before I enter the girls club room, the sound of two girls talking came from inside. 'Whatever. Other sports teams have things to do too, right?' I straightened my skirt, hoping that my being there wouldn't be an issue.

I carefully open the door, peeking my head inside of it. I could only recognize Kiyoko changing into her sweat pants, but not the other girl. Once reassuring that it wasn't a crowd of people, I fully entered, closing the door behind me. "Uh—hello," I utter, awkwardly smiling while walking towards my locker.

The stranger turns quickly, revealing her figure. 'Who is this chick?!' I ask myself. She had straight dirty blonde hair, smooth milky skin the covered her body, and deep green eyes. I was surprised such a beautiful and classy girl was here in a gym locker room.

She looks me up and down, attempting to return the smile. "Oh—hi! You must be the new manager. My name is Eclair, it's nice to meet you!"

-

Vote pls and ty ok bye ily

- estrxlar