#AND a very awkward run-in between them (probably cause of mabel?) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nour386 · 4 years ago

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Meeting the not Heroic Family

My submission for @pinesconessecrets as the santa of @mothmanfactkin, His prompts included super hero au and awkward dinner. So I combined them together into one massive fic. I hope you enjoy this because I enjoyed writing this. (Also on Ao3!)

"Dipper, I'm not sure about this," Wirt tightened his grip on his boyfriend's hand.

"It'll be fine!" Dipper awkwardly bumped Wirt with his elbow. "They don't need to know that I'm dating the legendary 'Spirit of the Plants'."

"Dipper this is serious." Wirt said. "If your Uncle is half as smart as you say he is, he should be able to figure out my identity in an instant."

"Don't worry about that, we have your cover story remember?" Dipper grinned, "a humble library part timer fresh out of college, looking for work. It'd cover most of our bases."

Wirt didn't look convinced. He bit his lip and looked away. His mind raced with all the ways this evening could go wrong. A villain somehow reconsigning him, and attacking them through the window. A giant monster bursting through the ceiling, crushing everyone and splattering the walls with their blood. Or worst of all, his boyfriend's uncles deciding that he was a bad influence. Cutting his time with Dipper short.

"Hey, look at me." Dipper pinched Wirt's cheek making the lanky man wince.

"What was that for?" Wirt rubbed his cheek.

"You were doing that thing where you panic and over think everything and worry that the end of the world will come about because you dropped a spoon." Dipper rolled his hand as he spoke.

"There was no apocalypse this time." Wirt said in a small voice.

"That's not the point Pilgrim." Dipper sighed. He placed both his hands on Wirt’s shoulders. "I know you're worried, and in truth, I am a little as well; but nothing helpful is going to come from sitting here and stewing in our sweat. Let's go take this thing down together."

Wirt took a deep breath, and let himself be held by Dipper. The weight of his hands on his shoulders helped ground the young man. He looked into his boyfriend’s eyes and gave a small smile.

“I think. I'll be fine.” Wirt said slowly.

“I’ll be with you every step of the way.” Dipper smiled.

The pair made their way down the long walk up to the mystery shack. Normally Dipper would have insisted on flying the pair over, but decided that letting Wirt get excited over the natural beauty of Gravity Falls might help him calm down enough to face his uncles. That judgement worked out swimmingly in his favour as Wirt awkwardly asked to stop every few minutes to observe some flower or shrub that he didn’t quite recognise.

“I know you said the town was bustling with the unknown, I didn’t think that would include plants.” Wirt carefully touched the leaf of a shrub.

“Is a small bush that impressive?” Dipper squated next to Wirt to observe the plant. The stem looked like it was covered in red polka dots.

“Look! This shrub adapted its stem to look like it's covered in red ants to avoid being eaten!” Wirt said in an excited voice. He gave the leaf at the tip of the stem a small poke and gave a small twitter of delight as the stem curled up perfectly to make the polka dots look even larger.

“Huh, I never noticed that.” Dipper taped his chin.

“Probably because you spent the better part of your time running for your life.” Wirt tapped a nearby tree. A sturdy branch grew out, just high enough along the trunk to help him stand up without groaning. “Thank you.” He whispered to the tree.

“You know, for a superhero you sure do use your powers haphazardly.” Dipper teased. He stood up, and led the way to the shack.

“You’re just jealous that your yearbook photo this year was captioned ‘plant killer’.” Wirt smirked, following Dipper along the path.

“I told all of our friends to not get me house plants as gifts. But they never listen.” Dipper threw up his hands in exasperation. “I can hardly take care of myself. You think I can take care of a plant?”

“Thank your lucky stars that I didn’t decide to incarcerate you for crimes against greenery.” Wirt said.

“That’s not a thing and you know it Mr.’Hero’.” Dipper punched Wirt’s arm.

“Well it might be!” Wirt shot back. “And now the charge has changed to battery.”

“Oh no. how could you have stopped my dastardly crimes.” Dipper rolled his eyes.

“Who’s talking about crime?” came a gruff voice.

The pair looked ahead to find an older looking man. Greying hair that lay flat on his head, a red nose and square jaw. He wore a serious expression, his face behind his square glasses was twisted into a serious scowl as he looked at the two young men.

“I-uh no-one Sir.” Wirt squeaked.

Dipper on the other hand rolled his eyes. “Why? You want a cut of the goods?” “You’re damn right.” The old man smirked.

“I wha-” Wirt looked between them.

“Are you sure you’d want to be associated with horrible criminals like us?” Dipper asked. “Wouldn’t want the press to find out and cause another scandal.”

“Those paparazzi cronies will swarm after anything. It’ll blow over in less than a day.” The old man chuckled.

“What?” Wirt tilted his head.

Dipper grinned. “Wirt, this is my Great uncle Stan, retired hero and ever active conman.”

“Hero?” Wirt stared at the man. His mind raced to put a mask to the face.

“Autographs cost 50 and pictures with me are 100.” Stan gave a showman’s grin. “Keep in mind that those prices are mutually exclusive.”

“And if you want him in costume you’d be footing the tailor’s bill.” Dipper elbowed Wirt.

“Wait, who were you?” Wirt asked.

“Who was I? Who was I?” Stan looked as though he had the wind knocked out of him. “What kind of cave dweller did you bring to my house?”

Dipper rolled his eyes at Stan’s theatrics. He was well used to his uncle’s inflated ego about his hero career. Wirt on the other hand found difficulty picking up on Stan’s very subtle hints at playing a bit. He felt his stomach sink to his feet as the man’s voice grew in volume, his life flashing before his eyes as he tried to figure out which hero this angry looking man could have been.

“Grunkle Stan, tone it down, you’re going to give him a heart attack.” Came a sweet as sugar voice from inside the shack. A young lady with her hair done in a long braid opened the mesh door and punched Stan in the arm. Aside from rosy cheeks and the lack of a beard, her face was identical to Dipper’s. It didn’t take long for Wirt to recognise his boyfriend’s twin sister, Mabel.

She turned to Wirt and gave a warming smile. “Sorry about this old grump. He thinks his comedy routine should double as a horror show.”

“It’s only horror if they’re too sensitive.” Stan rubbed his arm.

“You promised Dipper you’d play nice while Wirt was visiting.” she crossed her arms.

“I also promised your uncle Shermie that I wouldn’t let you do any hero work while staying over. And look how that turned out.” Stan rolled his eyes.

“Stopping someone from stealing a car isn’t hero work.” Mabel shot back.

“Sorry about Stan,” Dipper muttered under his breath. “He’s just jealous that his hero career was cut.”

“Jealous?” Wirt stared at Dipper. “You said you didn’t tell them anything”

“He’s jealous of your youthfulness” Dipper squeezed Wirt’s shoulder. He leaned in close to whisper into his ear. “I haven’t told them a thing, I promise.”

“So he’s not mad?” Wirt clarified.

“Nope, just a really bad comedian.” Dipper smiled.

Wirt closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He held onto Dipper’s hand to ground himself. It took a couple of moments but he felt his heart rate slow down.

“Hey, is the kid okay?” Stan called from the porch. Wirt could hear the audible smack of Mabel’s fist against Stan’s meaty arms, followed by a hushed. “Ouch!”

“Ready to go in?” Dipper asked patiently, ignoring his relatives and their antics.

“I think so yes.” Wirt opened his eyes and gave a weak grin.

***

The pair had wanted to spend the wait for dinner in the living room, enjoying the terrible public access television that Gravity Falls had to offer. However, Stan had other plans. Apparently Dipper’s second Grunkle, Ford as Stan called him, had failed to arrive in time to help like he had agreed. And now the couple were forced into the kitchen to help with dinner preparations.

“Honestly you don’t need to help too much.” Dipper insisted as he kept an eye on the bubbling stew.

“I don’t mind. It’s nice to see the shack you talk so much about.” Wirt smiled. He carefully peeled an onion before dicing it. Dipper could have sworn the onion grew plumper when he handed it to Wirt.

“So he talks about this place huh?” Stan looked over his shoulder and away from his chopping board. “Better be talking about how great it was.”

“Oh but of course.” Dipper rolled his eyes. “The 5 star accommodations, and food to match? How could I complain?”

“Didn’t you say that the walls were riddled with splinters?” Wirt asked.

“They add character!” Stan insisted. He banged his fist on to the chopping board, launching sliced up carrots into Dipper’s bubbling pot.

“And a surprising amount of fiber.” Dipper said. He placed a lid on the pot.

“What?” Wirt looked at Dipper.

“The kid chews just about anything. I’m surprised his power wasn’t something like eating anything.” Stan said, he took the onion slices from Wirt and poured them into a pan with some oil.

“I don’t think that’d be very fitting.” Wirt said.

“Oh? And why’s that?” Stan snapped his fingers, summoning a small flame at the tip of his finger, which he then used to ignite the stove. He raised an eyebrow as he stared at Wirt. Challenging him to back up his claim.

Wirt could feel his stomach twisting under the gaze of the older man, but a gentle hand on his shoulder helped the practising hero ground himself. He took a deep breath and put on what felt like a confident grin. “Well, for one thing Dipper would need an appetite for such a power to be useful.”

There was a beat, Wirt held his breath, expecting some snide remark about how he didn’t know what he was talking about. Instead, Wirt watched as Stan slapped his knee in laughter. The old man’s wrinkled face lifted with glee as his hoarse laugh filled the shack. He accidentally knocked over the pan he had just put on the stove.

Acting quickly, Wirt grew a strong vine from the flowers on the window sill, easily catching the pan.

“And here I thought you were all talk about him being a smart alec!” Stan grinned. He clapped a hand on Wirt’s back.

“Thank you?” Wirt looked to Dipper for help.

His boyfriend gave him a small smile and a thumbs up. “Told you he could hold his own.”

“He still looks scrawny as hell.” Stan pulled his pan out of the vine’s grasp. “Pretty good with his powers. You sure he ain’t some mask behind your back?”

“Grunkle Stan, Wirt would never lie to me like that.” Dipper frowned. He looked disgusted at the suggestion.

“Not many regular people are quick enough to catch something that fast. Especially with powers they don’t use regularly.” Stan said.

“I do use my power often.” Wirt said honestly.

“And what does a librarian need chloromancy for?” Stan asked.

“It helps me put away books faster.” Wirt said. “Not to mention I had a very excitable younger brother. If I wasn’t keeping an eye on him, there was no telling how much trouble he’d get in.”

Dipper held his breath as he watched his Uncle’s reaction. The old man eyed Wirt up and down, before shrugging and moving back to his cooking. “Jeez you really are dating a goody two shoes, aren’t you?”

“You know me. Can’t help but stick to the rules.” Dipper said with an awkward chuckle.

“Only when it suits you.” Stan remarked. “Now toast the bread, I didn't bring you in here to play 20 questions.”

***

‘Ford’ was still nowhere to be seen, but the family had decided to start dinner without him.

“If he thinks I’m going to wait for him to eat then he’s got another thing coming.” Stan said.

With the use of his plant powers, Wirt was able to set the table rather quickly. He wondered why Mabel hadn’t been asked to help, but when he saw several burn marks hidden under the table cloth, he realised the risk the ever glitter throwing Mabel could be to the kitchen. It wasn’t long before the table had been set and all food was served. The three Pines and Wirt sat together at the table, enjoying the delicious food. The sound of clinking plates filled the air.

All was peaceful until a loud crash came from the living room, followed by an angry shout.

“Stanley what did you do to my mirror!”

Stan didn't get up from his seat, in fact he acted as though he didn’t hear what had just transpired. Wirt remembered seeing the old man reach for his ears before they began eating. ‘Perhaps he turned off his hearing aids?’.

Dipper gave Wirt a smile. “We’re in the kitchen Grunkle Ford!”

Wirt turned to the doorway just in time to see a man with a similar face to Stan’s but with a much deeper cleft in his chin and much poofier hair. He wore a trench coat and red sweater over black dress pants. His clothes were scuffed and were burnt in multiple places. To the untrained eye it would have looked like the man had run wildly through the woods from some kind of monster. However Wirt was familiar with markings like those that were all over Ford’s clothing. They were from stray bullets that had nicked his clothing, narrowly avoiding him.

“Stanley, what was the big idea with putting my mirror behind the couch!” Ford marched right up to his twin, his face red with rage.

Stan lazily looked up at Ford, his mouth full of mashed potatoes. He raised a finger and swallowed his food. “I can’t hear anything you're saying Sixer.” Stan pointed to the kitchen counter, where his hearing aids sat, keeping him deaf to the world around him.

“You knucklehead! I almost got crushed!” Ford reached to punch Stan, but he was stopped by Dipper. The young man had jumped out of his seat and grabbed a hold of Ford’s arm. Dipper also summoned a vine from the window sill to keep his uncle restrained.

“Grunkle Ford, I’m really happy you’re back in one piece. I was hoping to introduce you to my boyfriend, Wirt.” Dipper said. He nonchalantly gestured to Wirt.

“Ah, yes. I had forgotten we had guests.” Ford’s cheeks turned red as he collected himself. “I apologise for my outburst. I’m usually much more composed. However, someone’s pettiness has affected that.”

“Still deaf as a post.” Stan pointed to his large ears. His mouth full of half eaten stew.

Ford rolled his eyes and walked over to Wirt. The old man wiped his hand on his dark pants before offering a six-fingered hand shake. Wirt politely returned the gesture with a firm hand. But as the pair shook hands, a painful realisation dawned upon them both.

“You…” They both breathed. Their eyes locked into one another.

Before Wirt could say anything, Stanford ran out of the room, and out of sight.

Stan, Dipper and Mabel stared at Wirt, all thinking the same question. Wirt could feel their eyes boring into his skull, so he stood up, and excused himself. The young man made his way to the bathroom, closing the door behind himself. He splashed his face with some cold water and breathed deeply. He looked at the mirror above the sink, screamed, and tripped back into the bathtub.

“Calm down!” Dipper whispered. He stepped out of the mirror.

“How did you-”

“I’ve been copying Grunkle Ford’s power for ages.” Dipper said. “Now, would you mind explaining what that was just now?”

“So, remember how I thought I never met your uncles and was worried about a bad first impression?” Wirt asked. His tone sounded jovial despite his rattled nerves. “Well I don't need to worry about that anymore.”

“When did you meet Grunkle Ford?” Dipper asked. He sat on the side of the bathtub.

“I was doing a nightly patrol of our campus. The security guards had asked for some help from the local hero guild. Someone was breaking in and taking the latest data found by the scientific teams. I was already on campus so the hero guild put me to the job.” Wirt said. He kept in his awkwardly sat position in the tub as he spoke. The shower curtain tangled with his long limbs.

“So as I was walking around, I heard the guards calling for help, turned the corner and saw the tail coat of a man run down the hallway. ‘The light of the moon shone through the windows, guiding me through the dark to his eventual capture’. Is what I thought when I saw him turn down a dead end. But instead there was no one. There was the one way glass of the nearby lab door; but it was securely locked. The guards checked it anyway and found no one.”

“Right.” Dipper nodded along, tapping his chin.

“I walked along the floor, looking for any signs of the intruder; but alas he had slipped my grasp. The only person I found was one of the professors leaving after a late night at work. I had thought he was the intruder at first, since the first thing I saw were the tails of his coat, but it was a lab coat.” Wirt continued.

“But where does Ford fit into this?” Dipper asked.

“That professor dropped a roll of paper he was carrying. I thought it was some of his research, but when I reached down to pick it up. I noticed he had six fingers, which was not mentioned in the staff listings. And when I looked at his ID, it was a crudely faked card.” Wirt said.

“Ooooh.” Dipper sucked in a breath. “And he realised you were the hero from that night?”

“There’s no way he didn’t.” Wirt said.

“Okay, things are messy, but, there’s nothing to worry about.” Dipper clapped his hands. “He knows that you know, but we don’t know he knows. So we can use this to our advantage.”

“If he knows that we know, then he won’t try to deal with me to make sure I don’t blab?” wirt asked.

“But he can’t be sure that you know.” Dipper said. “As far as your story goes, you’re only a librarian. Just keep your cool and things should smooth over.”

“Considering how annoyed your Uncle Stan is, I doubt he’d want to cause too much more trouble.” Wirt said.

“Exactly.” Dipper smiled. “Now come on, dinner’s getting cold and trust me when I say you don’t want to fight Mabel for seconds.”

Wirt watched as Dipper stood up offering his hand. The young man took a deep breath before accepting his boyfriend’s hand.

“That sounds lovely.” he agreed.

#Gravity falls #Pinescone #Pinescone Secret Santa #Over the garden wall #OTGW #GF #Wirt #Dipper #Wirt X Dipper #Hero Au

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conaionaru · 4 years ago

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Moral of the story (Modern Bjorn)

Who knew

Synopsis: As a single father, Bjorn doesn't have much time to move on from his wife Thorunn. When Marjorie Potts stumbles into his life.

Warning: Slowburn, friends to lovers, modern au, Siggy lives, abusive ex

I don't own the gifs.

Unstrapping his little daughter from her car seat, Bjorn made his way to his house. It was new, a gift from his father to have a fresh start. It was closer to Ragnar's new family. Siggy liked being close to her uncles and little cousins.

The five-year-old run after him; her pigtails were bouncing happily as she clutched her stuffed bear in her hands.

Banging caused the two to stop. By the neighbor's house, a car parked on the lawn, ruining the grass. A man stood by the door, trying to get in. But somebody from the inside struggled to keep him out.

"Who is he?" He heard an older lady ask as three grandmas walked by.

"No idea. Never seen him before. The girl lives all alone."

"Maybe an old boyfriend. Mabel. Call the police on him. He is up to no good."

True to their word, the drunken man banged on the door and screamed loudly. "Let go, you, bitch! Fuxking whore, though you could fool me? Moving won't save you, Marjorie!"

Bjorn frowned at the yelling and left his daughter with the three women. He marched to the man just as he managed to rip the door open.

"Stop running!"

"Hey! Let her go."

The man turned around to look at Bjorn stalking towards him. "Don't interrupt. We are in the middle of something."

The redheaded girl used the moment to try and slam the door closed, but the man put his foot in the crack and slammed the door open. The force bashed the girl's head against the wood and collapsing on the ground in pain. She cursed as he raised his arm to hit her, but Bjorn wrapped her arm around his wrist and wrenched him off her.

The flashing lights of the police alerted them that the fight was over. The man ripped himself out of Bjorn's chokehold and pointed an accusing finger at him. The Ragnarsson ignored him and helped the girl up from the ground. "Are you alright? Do you see double?"

"Thanks."

The ginger looked over her shoulder at the yelling men getting restrained by the police. "I will fucking kill you, bitch! How dare you cuff me! Wait till my father hears about this! He will get you all fired! Do you hear me?!"

"Maam." A policewoman called out and walked to Bjorn and his neighbor with a medical kit in her hands. "How about we patch you up, and you can make a statement."

"I can do it here too."

The policewoman nodded and took out a notepad after patching up her head wound. The scratch on her forehead was bleeding a little bit and probably hurt like a bitch. The old ladies carried Siggy to Bjorn, who also had to make a statement.

During his interview, he heard the girl's conversation with the cops. "He is my ex. Andrew Doyle. D-O-Y-L-E."

"Has he beat you before? Any attacks of any kind? Before or after your break-up."

"During. This is the first time he saw me since we split up. I moved to have a new start."

When all the turmoil slowed, Bjorn was left alone with his daughter and neighbor, who looked at her busted door in disdain. "I know someone who can repair it. I could call him."

The ginger looked back at him and frowned before sighing and nodding. She put her hands in her pockets as she watched the tall, broad man fish his phone out of his pocket while his little daughter runs around him in circles.

She was a cute child with dark brown eyes and strawberry blonde curly hair in two pigtails. Attentive and curious, stealing glances at the strange woman every once in a while.

"He will come to look at it in two hours."

"Thanks... I don't know your name."

Bjorn chuckled and extended his hand to her. "Bjorn Lothbrok. This is my daughter Siggy. We are new here."

She smiled at him halfheartedly and shrugged, shaking his hand. "Joy Potts. A resident for a month. Welcome to the neighborhood, I guess." She turned on her heel to go into her home, but Bjorn called out to her once more.

"You could wait at my house. It would be safer." Joy frowned at his offer and tried to decline, but Siggy run-up to her, smiling.

"You could play with me! Or do my hair. My Daddy is bad at it."

"I am not." He tried to protest, but Siggy shook her head and looked up at the ginger with puppy dog eyes.

Fuck me. "Sure."

And so she ended up in a house way too huge for a single father and his little daughter. The guy had five guest bedrooms! If he rented the thing out, he could buy another car instead of the Mercedes parked out front. But the tall blonde seemed like a good guy, you know, for a rich dude.

Joy subtly looked over his kitchen as he tried to cook something for all of them. The wine bottle on the top shelf seemed old, judging by the lair of dust on it, and very welcoming. "Do you want some? I could open it."

She shook her head and smiled sheepishly at Bjorn's confused look. "Just trying to seize you up. You know, if I am not in the house of a psychopath."

He chuckled and pointed at the five-year-old girl painting behind the dinner table. "I have a kid."

"Psychos have sperm too. I am sure attractive ones have some kids. Ted Bundy made on in prison." She shrugged and smirked at his bewildered expression. He invited her into his home, let him bear the consequences. She was way too fucking tired to tip-toe around him.

"Fair point." He shrugged and stirred the sauce in the pot. Joy shook her head at the technique and walked over to him to peer into the pot.

"Does food involve my stay here?" Bjorn nodded and grinned proudly at his creation that...honestly looked poisoned. "I will pass then."

"It doesn't look that bad!"

"Daddy's right! It smells worse!" Siggy called from her spot on the dinner table and run over to Joy and her father to show them her picture. It was a cute scene of her, her father, and many other people with names over them. Some of the letters were backward. But Joy could make out the words "Ubbe" and "Ivar." The last one looked like an angry troll.

"It's not so bad. I am sure it can be saved." With an unsure grin, Joy tasted the pasta sauce. It tasted horrid, so she spent the next two minutes perfecting the disaster enough so it could be edible.

The dinner was rather quiet; Siggy ate the spaghetti happily, getting the sauce all over her. Bjorn opened the bottle of white wine, so hopefully, the awkward tension would ease. Joy was never really a people person. She liked her privacy and scandals to be her own business. After her relationship with Andrew, she lost all her friends and wasn't that bummed about it. Moving far away is easier when you had no attachments. No need to burn bridges to keep yourself safe when they were all ashes already.

"So... Why did you move here? Usually, people like you don't move into neighborhoods filled with old ladies. Or is that your type?" Maybe the wine wasn't the best decision, but she always made the wrong choices. So no surprise there, let her big mouth insult the guy that gave her shelter and fed her.

Bjorn just chuckled and looked at Siggy's adorable happy face. "I needed a quiet place to raise my daughter. Far away from my teenage brothers and my dad's new wife. And you? What's a girl like you doing here?"

Joy smirked and finished her third glass of red wine. "Escaping mostly."

"From him?"

The smile dropped from her face. Why was she even shocked at the answer? He did save her from Andrew and heard her talk with the cops. "Him and other people. Rumors, knowing eyes, judgment. It was tiring, and I needed an escape. So I thought, where would no one normally want to move? And I came here."

"No one but me, I guess. Or do I not count as normal? A guy like me? What does that even mean, by the way?"

She poured the rest of the bottle into her glass and swirled the liquid around, trying to sort her thoughts. "A guy that came from money, obviously. Otherwise, you couldn't afford a place like this. And you also invited a stranger you just met into your home. What if I was a psychopath that could kill you?"

"We can't both by psychos, can we? What would the odds be?" They both shared a laugh, Siggy asking for seconds right after. Joy couldn't look at the messy face, so she took a napkin and wiped at Siggy's face.

"Nooo. I want to be messy. It's like make-up. It will make me pretty." Siggy whined while Joy and Bjorn laughed at her.

"It doesn't match your skin tone, honey." Joy joked and threw the dirty napkin away. The doorbell rang right after, so Bjorn went to open the door. The man that walked in after him, was tall and lanky.

He was the one that was supposed to fix the door. So Floki, Bjorn, Siggy, and Joy went to her home to look at the damage. The ginger led them into her living room, where Floki spread his tools and went to hang down the door. She would need a new lock and some damage control, but it would be working within the hour.

Siggy looked around the room and then settled on the couch to watch TV. After asking Joy to do something with her hair, of course. Bjorn used the moment to look around. Despite her living here longer than him, Joy's house was impersonal. Just easily decorated to pack up faster if needed.

The Lothbrok understood that she was probably on the run from Andrew, but the house looked so empty. No photos or anything to show that someone actually lived here. One thing that caught his attention were dog tags on the wall. "They were my dad's. Marine."

"My brother wanted to enlist, but our Dad talked him out of it. Said Ubbe wouldn't handle the violence and blood full time. Ivar still holds it over him until now." Bjorn snorted in amusement, causing Joy to laugh too.

"Annoying little shit, brother? Know what that's like."

"Brothers?"

Joy rolled her eyes and looked at him, resting her chin against the back of the beige couch. "Two. One older, one younger. Annoying, overprotective, and a nightmare to live with as a teenage girl."

"Well, there are 13 years between me and Ubbe, who's the oldest. Bringing girls home was very hard when a little boy is following you like a lost puppy."

Joy snorted and grinned at Bjorn's confused look. "Boohoo. Poor Bjorn couldn't get it on. My brothers threatened my first boy friend, not even dating, just project partners. The guy couldn't even walk in the same hall as me. My youngest brother banged pots outside my door after I came home from a party for the first time."

"My dad used to blast Queen right next to my ear. Sat there and laughed at my misery when he found me hugging the toilet. I still think he has blackmail material from that time."

Laughing at their pasts was so easy. As if they had known each other for years. It has been a long time since Bjorn could spend time with someone that wasn't family or work-related. "So the door is fixed. It looks like nothing ever happened."

Floki giggled while walking in. Joy jumped up to pay him, but the tall stranger stopped her. "Anything for a friend of Bjorn."

"We aren't exactly-"

"Thank you, Floki. Say hi to Helga and Angrboða for me!" Bjorn cut her off and led the men out, saying something about a playdate between their girls.

Floki looked the tall man over and grinned. "You know, you could bring Siggy tomorrow and ask the girl out. You aren't really subtle."

"I don't like Joy like that. I know her for a few hours."

"Never stop you before, Big Bear." The younger male mock glared at Floki, who just snickered and left.

When he walked back into the room, Joy and Siggy played a card game, and his daughter's hair was in two braids. "Strange fellow, isn't he?"

He shrugged and went to help Siggy win. "Known him since birth. He is my parent's friend since they were all my age. His wife and daughter are sweet, though."

After the game, Bjorn took Siggy to leave, the little girl hugging Joy as a goodbye. He looked at them and sighed. "I wanted to ask you... Would you like to go out for a drink? As neighbors and new friends, nothing serious."

Joy smirked at his stammering and nodded. "Are you going to ask the old ladies out too? I would like to see that."

"Oh yes, I have a knitting lesson planned out with each one." They laughed again and parted ways.

Joy stood there, dreading what would come during the "date." She was in no mood for a relationship so soon after Andrew. Especially after today. But if he really wants to just be friends, then fine. If he ends up in the friend zone, that's on him.

So the next day, she spent minimal time on her make-up and clothes. If he wants to be friends, he should get used to her looking like a gremlin. But she better ease him into it; we don't want him to get a heart attack so young, do we?

Sitting at the bar and waiting for him felt weird. Joy felt desperate and ridiculous in her jeans and leather jacket. She felt like everyone kept staring, and every laugh felt like it was meant to be about her.

'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby

Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby

Listen to Iron Maiden, baby, with me, ooh

The song on the stereo made her feel old. It was released in the 2000s when she was a kid. She listened to that song constantly when it came up on the radio and sang along. Now the young people in the bar looked at the stereo in confusion, unfamiliar to the hit.

"But he doesn't know who I am. And he doesn't give a damn about me." Bjorn sang from behind her, grinning at her shocked expression.

"You sing fine, but your timing's shit." Joy teased as he sat down and ordered a whiskey like her.

"I was held up, spilled something over my shirt, and had to change. But I am here." He grinned at her and froze. What were they supposed to talk about now? The weather? Sports? Since when was he so bad at this?!

Joy looked at him with curious eyes and sighed. "I just want to remind you, no feelings."

"That won't be hard." Bjorn shook his head; Joy raised an eyebrow at him.

"What's that supposed to mean? Am I that ugly?"

"More like I am too busy with Siggy. And I guess you aren't ready either. Moving on from her mom is... hard. I would rather like a friend that doesn't want to see me naked or something from me other than company."

Joy smiled at nodded. "Good. I am not the best adept for that, but your funeral."

"Why do you think that?"

Telling him about her severe self-hate problems and antisocial lifestyle wasn't an option. So she decided to go another route. "Just saying that how we met isn't the best friendship set up. You don't usually see that in movies."

Bjorn shrugged and took a sip of his drink. "Well, this isn't a movie. Or do you see hidden cameras here, huh?"

"You got me there, Lothbrok. So tell me, neighbor... Where are you from?"

"My Dad lives in Kattegat, Mom, and sister in Hedeby. I lived in between and with Dad at the end. What about you?"

Joy played with a strand of her hair, bobbing her head to the end of "teenage dirtbag."

How does she know who I am?

And why does she give a damn about me?

I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby

Come with me Friday, don't say maybe

I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, like you

She looked down into her glass and smiled nostalgically. "We moved from Topeka, Kansas, to Oslo when Mom was pregnant with my big brother. Lived there ever since. So when the shit with Andrew was over, I moved here to Copenhagen. I figured big city, fewer people to know me. But I wanted a quieter neighborhood, so here I am."

"What about work? Do you work here in the city?"

"Right now, nowhere. I used to bartend before, but right now, I do occasional work. Watching kids, cleaning houses, I tried gardening once. It ended badly."

"So that's why your lawn looks shitty."

Joy gasped and hit the giggling Bjorn on the shoulder. "What's your job? Profesional asshole? Is that just part-time?"

"A hobby, really. I worked in my dad's company with Ubbe but didn't have time for Siggy. So now I am a personal trainer. So if you want to learn how to beat people up, tell me." She smiled at the invitation and clanged glasses with him.

"To a nice friendship between two idiots."

"Skol!"

#history vikings #Bjorn Ironside #bjorn lothbrok #bjorn ragnarsson #Siggy Bjornsdottir #bjorn x oc #original female character #original character #modern bjorn

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rosegoldcross18 · 6 years ago

Text

BatBoys Headcanons #2

You Get Closer:

Dick Grayson:

Ever since what you both called the “gym incident” a few months ago, you and Richard Grayson have started dating a bit. It was a weird dynamic, as it wasn’t as serious as it normally would be. You’d take turns taking each other out to the most random places, ranging from lunch dates to across-the-street-dates. You loved how honest he was with you and how special he made you feel. He had the most beautiful people falling at his feet, but whenever you two were together, you had all his attention. Whatever you had to say he honored and you, likewise.

It was no secret that you were falling for Richard; even road kill would be able to see. You constantly find yourself unable to stop giggling around him, always wanting to look your best, and generally happier. You had it bad for him, but you didn’t want to scare him away by being too forward. Besides, you were pretty sure it all spoke for itself anyway, but Richard had a tendency of being quite the airhead sometimes, you noticed, so it probably flew over him. That’s never stopped you from thinking that maybe, just maybe he might feel the same way, but at the same time you always stopped yourself from expecting too much.

On a certain Wednesday afternoon though, something sort of changed in your little arrangement. Your shift had just finished and you were about to clock out of work, when a commotion in the lobby caught your attention. You shuffled over to the crowd and saw Richard sitting by the lounge, looking as hot as ever. He dressed simply, a black shirt slightly unbuttoned at the collar and black jeans. “Richard?” you call out to him. “What are you doing here?”

Immediately his gaze went to you, going from uncomfortable to elated in half a second. All eyes went to you, varying shades of green in each of the women present. “Hey beautiful.” He greets, slinging one of his arms around your shoulders. Another thing that swept you off your feet all the time: you’re the only one he calls beautiful. “I was thinking a steak dinner tonight. You up for it?”

“If I start gaining weight because of you, I swear Grayson, you’re gonna die.” You point an accusatory look at him and he returns it with a sheepish one.

“It doesn’t really matter to me. You’ll always be stunning no matter what.” There was something about the way he said it that told you he wasn’t just fooling around. It wasn’t as lighthearted like all those times before. No, this felt like it had meaning.

And as he walked you to the steakhouse with his hand sliding down to hold yours, your hope for the two of you never felt stronger.

Jason Todd:

Water rushed over your hands as you lathered the soap. You had just finished off your last ink job for the day, another very satisfied customer walking out your door. Now all that’s left was to close up shop and you’d be on your way home. Gathering your things and fixing yourself up a bit, you shut the lights and lock the doors before leaving. As your boots clacked along the moonlit curb, your eyes darted all around, vigilant. Your apartment was a good twenty minute walk from here, but the streets were darker than they should be, and you weren’t exactly in the safest place in Gotham, so it was always quite the nervous trek.

As you made your way past the first two alleyways, a bunch of guys stuck their hungry eyes at you. You heard them before you saw them; they began whistling and crowing as you walked by. Obviously they were teenagers, with no sense of fashion too, you noted. They were dressed like stereotypical gangsters, the ones you see on a corny cop movie, but they were far from intimidating. They were bold, though, you’d give them that. Especially since one decided you were harmless enough to approach.

“Hello there, little lady. Whatchu doin’ walking out here by yourself? It’s dangerous.” One drawled close to your heavily pierced ear.

You smiled sarcastically “Oh yeah, definitely. Smell the breath on you, oh lord, I am fearing for my life right now.” You waved your hand back and forth under your nose. It pissed him off instantly.

“What did you just say to me?!”

“Oh, did I hurt wittle Jimmy boy’s feelings? Look, why don’t you go back to your little cronies and show your dick to them instead because I have bad eyes. Can’t see small stuff.”

“Why you-” He raised his hand in the air, ready to smack you, when a howl of laughter came from behind you. A very familiar-and sexy-laugh.

“Man that was a comeback worth writing down.” Jason swaggered his way to you, lazy grin on his face but a little fire in his eyes. “Alright, playtime’s over kid. You go run along now.”

“W-Who the fuck are you?!” He stuttered, still trying to keep the tough face on despite clearly being unsettled by Jason’s sheer size. You couldn’t blame him though; Jason was built like a fucking god.

“Ah, nobody really. Just saw you were giving the lady trouble and thought to stop it. You know, ‘cause it’s disrespectful. Plus I did you a favor, dude. Wouldn’t want your gang to see you get your face beat in, would you?” His face was smug, almost gloating, but you could still tell his threat was dead serious. Apparently Mr. Gang signs did too, since he just left with a scowl. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I guess. I didn’t really need help though, if I’m gonna be honest.”

“Oh believe me I know. I just wanted him to fuck off faster.” He chuckled as you both continued walking.

“How’d you know I was here?”

“I live relatively close by, and I just got back from Irene’s house. Helped her with some things.”

“I should go visit Mrs. Mabel, too.”

“Wanna go tomorrow?” Jason suddenly asks. “We could have lunch there.” You raised an amused eyebrow at his proposal.

“Jason Peter Todd, are you asking me out?”

“Yeah, I am. Is there a problem with that?” You both stop at the door of your apartment building.

“Nope. Absolutely nothing.” You hum, kissing him on the cheek before going inside.

Tim Drake:

Turns out you and Tim shared the same school. Thankfully, your schedules weren’t totally mismatched, so you both had time to hang out in between periods. You had become rather good friends in a short amount of time, as you often helped with his self-destructive sleeping habits. Honestly, you were shocked he was still so smart—sleeping nearly thirty minutes a day would have killed your entire brain in less than a week. You brought him scented candles, helped him pick out pillows and made him tea that’d help him drowse. You were mothering him in a way, and it was quite obvious he liked it.

Third period had just started and you were waiting for your ever-so-punctual professor to show up. Cheek squished on your knuckle, you blew a raspberry in boredom. Then your phone vibrated in your pocket, signaling a text. You saw that it was from Tim, and it read:

“Vacant time. Teach didn’t even bother to show up today, and no sub.

Bored as heck.”

You shook your head and texted back with a smile. “Sorry, can’t help you there. I’m in class. Why don’t you take a nap?”

“I don’t feel like it. Can’t you skip?” You looked out the window and saw him looking down on his phone under one of the trees.

“You are not influencing me into truancy, sir, no matter how cute you are.” You saw his teeth peek out in a smile.

“Come on, just this once? :( I’m very lonely.”

“Boo-hoo for you. I’m not sacrificing my mom’s hard earned money just to snooze under a tree.”

“Touché. Fine, you win. I’ll wait…

…but I’ll be thinking of you.”

Okay, pause. Hold the damn phone. Timothy Drake did not just say that to you. Your cheeks lit on fire as you attempted to keep your face relaxed. You looked up at him again, and saw that he too, was red in the face. He started punching the side of his head, seemingly regretting what he just sent.

“Forget that last bit.”

Oh but you won’t. Not a chance in cold hell.

Damian Wayne:

Damian had been frequenting your shelter since he first came here a month ago, claiming that he had to make sure the animals were in “optimal living conditions”, and that his father’s money wasn’t going to waste. You didn’t see him very often because you had school and you only get to help on the weekends, but every time you did he was with a Dalmatian you liked to call “Oreo”. He was still kinda young, and Damian obviously liked him the most out of all the critters here. In all honesty, you wanted to talk to him and be friends, but you got very shy.

Currently, you were feeding the dogs while your dad bought some supplies from the vet across the street. There were twelve dogs total in the shelter, not counting the ten puppies in the nursery room. This chore in particular was your favorite, being that you adored dogs more than any other animal. All the doggos happily trotted around the feeding room as you prepared their feasts. “Okay, gang. Here’s the grub.” You holler, bringing out a dozen feeding bowls. “Now, you don’t eat until I say so, okay?” They all stood to attention, tails wagging back and forth like furry windshield wipers. You set the bowls in a line, evenly filling them with dog food and a little bit of raw meat. You backed away and twenty four beady black eyes stared at you in anticipation. “Okay…go!” Then they all simultaneously devour their meals, chomping and licking sounds filling the air. You giggle and put the food away, readying their vitamin-infused water for after they eat.

Amongst the cacophony of eating doges, you heard a set of footsteps from the doorway. You turn and see Damian, looking as stiff as ever. His eyes focused on the dogs and gained an approving look in them. You smiled, happy that you met his expectation. “What do they eat daily?”

“Oh, just a combination of dog food and some raw chicken. The vitamins I put in their water, since they don’t eat the supplements I mix in with the solid food.” Another nod.

“Sounds appropriate.” Then an awkward silence ensues. You gulp, feeling yourself shy away again. “Would you allow me to take Oreo for a walk? Your father mentioned that you walk the dogs on the afternoons.”

You tuck a stray hair behind your ear as you poured the water into the now-emptied bowls. “Oh sure! Actually, the backyard’s completely fenced and it’s a big place. Why not just set them all free there, let them run and play around?”

He paused a bit, his expression softening the tiniest bit. Barely noticeable, but it was something. “Alright.”

#batboys #batfamily #batfam imagine #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #imagine #preferences #dc comics #comics #boyfriend scenarios #fluff

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pinesconessecrets · 7 years ago

Text

Adventure days

For @artificeblade

“Dipper, are you sure about this?” asked Wirt, taking the Fisher-Price’s camera from the younger boy. “I-it sounds dangerous!”

“Well, that’s why you are coming with me!” he answered, smiling at him “Besides, we’re taking this to defend ourselves from the monster!” he said showing him a sword. A plastic sword, obviously.

Wirt gasped. That was awesome.

“I know, right?!” Dipper smiled one last time, before putting on his best serious face. Which, considering he was five years old, wasn’t all that serious. “Let’s… dissect some monsters”

“What does that mean?” asked Wirt with a frown in his face.

“I don’t know, but it is something that my uncles say a lot when talking about hunting monsters so… I suppose it’s really, really bad and sciency”

“Ohh… yeah, it sounds sciency”

The two boys began to walk down the hallway, both with tiny-ninja-quiet steps to don’t be heard by the monster that they knew lived in the closet at the end of the hall. They had heard it groan, and they could swear to anyone that the monster was the one who stole food from the fridge from time to time. They had even heard it chew! But it all would end that day. Because Dipper was a Pines, and the Pines were the best monster hunters in the world! And, with his best friend Wirt by his side, that ugly monster didn’t stand a chance.

Or so they thought, but when they finally were in front of the closet’s doors, none of them dared to open it.

So, like the little civilized gentlemen they were, they decided to play rock-paper-scissors to determinate which one of them would open the doors. And Wirt was the one selected by the universe to do the work.

“I have your back” whispered Dipper. And Wirt relaxed by those words, without stopping to think that the monster would still have total access to his front. Kids don’t complicate their life like that, people.

He opened the door. And an avalanche of clothes, books, balls, toys and all the kind of useless stuff a person can have but resist to throw to the trash because they think it could probably-maybe-I don’t know be useful later buried the kids. And, as if it were a cherry on top of a cake, a walkie-talkie landed on top of the little mountain of trash.

“What was that noi- hey, Sixer! I found your other walkie-talkie!”

That incident would later pass to the history as the “Kinda closet fail”, because even if they didn’t find a monster, they found something important. So, not a real fail. Between laughs and apology brownies, Wirt, who was really enjoying his English lessons, decided to write in the journal his mother gave him for Christmas their little adventure.

While he internally whished for more to come.

++++

Only a week later the two boys found themselves in another adventure. Discovering what was causing Mom Cone’s sickness. The poor lady had been really sick of her stomach, and that had Wirt very worried.

“Wha-what if it isn’t just something she ate, uh?! What if it is an… an alien growing in her tummy!!” shrieked Wirt, pacing around the tiny tree house that Dipper’s uncles ‘helped’ to build.

“An alien?”

“Yes! Doesn’t it make sense?” he asked, tilting his head with confusion.

“Oh, yes, of course it makes sense. I was just asking for confirmation” he said, grabbing his briefcase with ‘Doctor stuff’ “Let’s take that alien out of your mom!”

Riding their bikes they quickly arrived to the Cone’s house, where they knew their 'patient’ was calmly resting, completely unaware of the danger she was in. They carefully tiptoed their way to the bedroom, opened the door and began to work.

“Do you hear it, Wirt?”

“Umm… no, not really. Maybe- oh my god!!“he screamed, almost dropping the old stethoscope Dipper had 'borrowed’ from Ford.

"What?!! What is it?!!”

“I think I heard it!” he explained “yes, I’m hearing it!”

“How does it sound?”

“Like… a heartbeat? I didn’t know aliens had hearts”

“Of course they do! They are born with three, and they eat human hearts to become more powerful! For god’s sake Wirt, what do you learn at school?!”

While the boys were discussing which way was the best to take the alien out of the surprisingly still asleep woman, the front door was opened and a man entered the house.

“Samara! Honey, I got your results! We are gonna have a- kids? What are you doing here?”

After a frantic explanation from the boys, and a calm and kid-friendly explanation from Mr. Cone, everything was clear. There was no alien inside of Wirt’s mom, she was just pregnant.

“So…I’m going to have a brother or sister?”

“Yes, Wirt” smiled his mom while ruffling his hair.

“So…” began Dipper.

“So?”

“So I guess I don’t need these?” he asked holding a pair of tweezers “Or should I save them for later?”

++++

Years passed, and they keep going on adventures and solving mysteries. The other kids may not want to play or do anything with them, but that was fine for them. They didn’t need anyone else. They were a duo, after all. The only one that could hang with them was Greg, and that was only in non-dangerous activities. The forest wasn’t a place for kids, just for full grown men like them.

“Do you see anything, Wirt?” a twelve year old Dipper asked, his hands holding the binoculars he was using “Any clue that could guide us to the Fairies’ realm?”

“No, there’s nothing over here. Just the quiet of the forest, as if holding its breath. Oh, what kind of destiny is waiting for us? What kind of sick comedy will our life… wait, who is she?”

“You know, I was really liking your poem, but I didn’t expect it to suddenly become so Romeo-like.”

“What? No! I was asking you who is that girl!” he said pointing to a girl meters away from where they were “I have never seen her”

“You are right… she probably is a ghost! Let’s go meet her!” he jumped of the tree and began running toward the girl.

“Wait, Dipper!”

++++

Turns out, the girl wasn’t a ghost. She was Dipper’s twin sister, who was raised by their parents. Needless to say, Dipper wasn’t happy about that. And who would be, after finding out your own parents didn’t want you for being a freak right since you were born?

“Come on, Dipper, open the door” begged Wirt, knocking softly on the door “Just, please, let me in”

“Go away” he sniffed, arms around himself as if to give the comfort he was refusing.

“Don’t make me sing that Frozen song!”

There was a silence, which was soon ended by Dipper’s laugh.

“Frozen? Really? We both know you weren’t born to sing, Wirt” he laughed “Besides, even if you did it, I wouldn’t have opened the door because Elsa didn’t”

“Oh… right. I forgot.”

Awkward silence. And then…

“So? Are you gonna sing or what?”

“Oh my god Dipper”

“What? Anna never stopped trying!”

++++

Even if their summer had a rough start with the appearance of Mabel, the rest of it wasn’t so bad. The girl accompanied them in their adventures, and even if at first Wirt was mad for that, once he knew her he actually liked her. Mabel was really funny and sweet, and dislike her just for wanting to spend time with her brother was stupid.

The years kept passing, and every summer Mabel went to Gravity Falls. Every summer the three went on adventures, or passed their time just hanging out or talking. But, eventually, things changed. College happened. And none of them went to the same college, so the only time they could really spend time together was at summer. But they didn’t do the stuff they used to, because they weren’t kids anymore. They talked, worked, did projects or just rested after a really hard semester. The golden days were over, it was time to grow up and live an adult’s life. Even if it sucked.

++++

Wirt was looking at the window, cup of tea in his hand and lost in thought. He couldn’t help it, sometimes his mind just wandered as a lost kid in the woods and…

“Here we go again” he thought, shaking his head to try and clear his mind. He looked up to see his boyfriend, and found him doing calculations, probably trying to see if they weren’t having any money problems. Again. Living together was amazing, yes, but it was really difficult too, especially because they were in their last year of college and their part time jobs paid just enough to cover rent and the basic stuff. On the bright side? At least they both had a scholarship.

“Dipper? Leave that, you’ll only get a headache”

“It’s fine, Wirt. I’m almost done, anyway” he answered, a tired smile on his face. Wirt sighed. He loved his boyfriend, but he could really be a knucklehead. He kept looking around to distract himself until Dipper was done. And then he saw it. Under a lot of literature and physics books, its pages old and the words on the cover almost erased, there it was. Their adventures book. That book that had been with them in every adventure they had ever had. The book that had been abandoned for years. “Dipper? Do you wanna go out?”

“Umm… I don’t know Wirt, it’s really late and-”

“You sure you don’t wanna go on an adventure?” he said showing him the book, a playful smile on his lips and offering him his other hand. Dipper just stared at him. Then he just laughed and grabbed his hand.

“Got any reports of paranormal activity, agent Cone?”

“Of course I do. There have been reports of people seeing ghosts at the park down the street. You ready, agent Pines?”

“Yes! Let’s go find those ghosts!”

The rest of the night was just the two of them running, recording, and laughing.

They were laying on the grass, panting heavily after 'running away from some ghosts’. And no, they weren’t just normal people that stared at them as if they were crazy. Of course not! After recovering their breath they looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. What if they weren’t kids anymore? It didn’t stop them from having fun doing what they liked. It didn’t stop them from being happy with simple things like lay on the grass holding hands and looking at the sky.

Love was all what they needed, after all.

+++++++++

N/A: Hope you like it!! Sorry if there’s any mistake, I’m not very good at english.

Happy holidays! :D

#pinescone #pinescone secret Santa #Wirt #Dipper Pines #submission

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pinebypine · 5 years ago

Text

Canis Minor

Triplet AU fic. After the events of The New Toy with some reference to it.

Ty lead the crowd into the next room, grabbed hold of the silk pull cord and turned to address the gaping yokels behind her. “Ladies and Gentleman, be astounded by the horrible teen wolf-boy!” With a tug, the old velvet curtains parted to reveal a large wood and iron cage, with a sulking figure inside. Dipper Pines had grown since the last time they’d tried this gag and the wolf-boy costume was probably too small now. Ty gave her brother a surreptitious wink and continued with her spiel. “Look at his terrifying visage! All that awkward body hair and gangly limbs!”

The crowd gabbled a little and several camera flashes filled the room with blinding light. In the cage, Dipper winced a little at the flashes. Ty inched closer to the cage and whispered low. “Everything going all right in there, Dip? This is the last batch for today.”

All she got in response was a low growling noise. “So you’ve finally decided to take the role seriously? That’s the spirit; have some fun with it.” She returned her attention to the punters and raised her voice again. “Captured years ago in the New Jersey Pine Barrens the wolf-boy’s only known weaknesses are silver and talking to la…”

She was cut off mid word by a pair of furry hands shooting from between the bars on either side of her. One wrapped around her midsection and the other clamped firmly over her mouth. She was drawn back against the bars of the cage. She felt pressure on her neck and a furry cloth ear was rubbing against her cheek.

Screams erupted from the crowd, who drew back away from the grrapple girl. “It’s gonna eat her!” A woman screamed.

“Ah! Somebody help!”

“Oh this is gonna be good.” A camera flash went off from someone in the front row of people.

Ty froze in shock. Dipper’s teeth were pressed gently against the skin of her neck, near the hairline. The hand over her mouth was firm but not holding her tight enough to hurt. The pinky finger of this other hand had just slipped under the hem of her shirt and she could feel as he started to slide the hand up toward more sensitive spots. Dipper’s breath, hot as a hair dryer, washed over her throat and collarbone.

The head of a broom smacked against the cage bars next to Ty’s head, startling Dipper into releasing his grip. Ty fell away from the cage and managed to keep her balance. Mabel shoved the broom into the cage’s interior and poked at Dipper to herd him back. “Nothing to worry about folks; he does this about once a week.” She glowered at Dipper dramatically. “And he’s lucky it was the broom this time.”

Ty breathed heavily, trying to get her heart-rate back down. She felt her sister’s hand on her shoulder. Mabel caught her eye, an unspoken question, and Ty nodded that she was fine. Then the oldest triplet addressed the stunned crowd of tourists. “Welp. Since it looks like you all are done with the tour, I bet you wanna see our amazing gift shop! We’ve got piles of awesome stuff for you to buy.”

She herded the people away, leaving the younger two alone. Ty walked up to the cage and flipped the latch to open it. “What earth did you think you were doing, Dipper?” She raised a hand to her cheek where she could feel the heat of a blush in full swell.

Dipper hung his head and stared at his hands. “I’m sorry, Ty. I don’t know what came over me. You were just so close and you-” he inhaled deeply through his nose”-you smell so good. I was just… Sorry.” He gave her a sheepish look and rubbed his bare shoulder with a furry hand. “I almost blew our cover there, huh?”

Ty sighed. “I think they bought it as an ‘attack’ but that was the penultimate entry on your ‘stupidest moves of all time’ list. Are you feeling okay? I remember you sneezing some this morning.”

He shook his head as if trying to clear it. “I’m just feeling a little cloudy; like its hard to focus.” He shivered a little in the cage. “Is it cold in here?”

The temperature outside was only two degrees off for a record high and the shack didn’t have air conditioning; Ty was in a tank top and shorts and was still perspiring. Even though Dipper’s costume was shirtless, she was having a hard time imagining him being actually cold in here. She reached up and pushed away his shaggy hair to lay her palm over his forehead.

“That’s a fever, Dip; you should probably go to bed.” Ty wrinkled her nose and pulled back. “And probably take a shower first. You reek.”

Dipper rolled his eyes and made a face. “It’s not me. I just stepped in a pile of some sort of ‘droppings’ in the woods this morning when I was looking around.”

“Well, a shower wouldn’t kill you anyway. Just go and have one and then lay down. Mabel or I will bring you something to eat later.”

He conceded and headed upstairs. Ty had to take a few minutes to calm down before getting back to work.

We have got to come up with someplace around to get some real privacy, Ty thought, or else I’m going to explode.

“Dipper, how my favorite brother?” Mabel burst through the door andstarted to launch herself onto the comforter lump that was her brother when a pair of arms caught her about the waist and pulled her back.

“Shh! He’s probably still sleeping.” Ty whispered, trying to restrain her sister.

“Poot,” Mabel pouted, “he’s been asleep since dinner. Was he really that sick?”

“He seemed out of it and was sporting a fever.” Ty released her and went over to cautiously check on her brother. “Must have been feeling really bad, he didn’t even take off the wolf costume.” She reached down and touched a furry pointed ear.

“He didn’t?” Mabel picked up a wadded pile of cloth from the floor, a headband with cloth ears set on top. “Then what’s this?”

Ty froze.

She gingerly pinched the furry thing between her fingers. It had the consistency of fur, skin, and cartilage. “Um, Mabel darling. Could you be a dear and come over here for second?” She released whatever it was she was holding and stepped back from the bed.

Mabel sauntered over and peered into the bed linen. Her eyes went wide. “Puppy?” In one smooth motion, she whipped the blanket back from the pointy ears. Surprised by the sudden temperature change, Dipper yelled himself awake and shot upright in bed.

“Ahh! What the heck are you doing?”

Ty’s hand went to her mouth in surprise and she took a step back. Mabel stood stock still for a moment, staring at her brother’s face. After a moment, he noticed the looks on their faces. “What did I drool on all over myself or something?” He started furiously wiping at his chin and cheeks with one hand.

Mabel seemed transfixed. “So scruffy.” She reached out slowly with both hands and touched the triangular ears sprouting from Dippers head They were very soft; instinct took over and she gently rubbed them.

Dipper’s eyelids fluttered closed and he leaned in toward her. “Oh damn that feels good.”

Ty darted to the pile of books at Dipper’s bedside and she started to rummage through them rapidly.

As Dipper’s face came closer to Mabel’s body, he inhaled sharply. In a flash, his arms wrapped around Mabel’s waist and he pulled her down onto the bed. His lips pressed against her’s and she felt him grind his body into her. From somewhere deep inside Dipper, a hungry sort of sound began to thrum.

Ty found the book she was looking for, a heavy leather tome with a six fingered hand embossed on the cover. She began flipping through the pages as Mabel started to rake her nails down her brother’s back.

Dipper broke the kiss and began to nibble down Mabel’s neck, making her whimper softly.

Without taking her eyes off the pages she was reading, Ty rose, book in hand, and deftly grabbed a furry ear between thumb and forefinger. She pinched hard and began to drag Dipper off the bed.

“Ow ow ow ow ow ow. What -ow- are you -ow- doing?”

Mabel groaned frustratedly. “Geez sis, why you got to Dipper-block me like that?”

In response, Ty began reading aloud. “Those suffering from the condition known as Gerulphus Transcursorius develop many symptoms such as, but not limited to, sensory hypersensitivity, impulse control impairment, and most notably, extensive canid physiological transformation.”

Dipper’s stopped struggling as she spoke. “Gerulphus Transwhaticus?” He reached up with a hand and touched the ear that Ty still held painfully. “What they heck is that!?” He was nearly screaming.

Ty released him and resumed reading as Dipper scrambled to his feet and over to the mirror mounted on the wall of the bedroom. “Also known as Transitory Lycanthropy or the wereflu, Gerulphus Transcursorius is a paranormal viral affliction that can inflect humans who come in close contact with a true lycanthrope, lycanthrope excreta, or other carriers of the disease. It causes behavioral changes and a physical transformation very much like that of a true lycanthrope.”

Dipper had reached the mirror and at this point yelped in horror and surprise at seeing his appearance. Along with the ears, he was also quite a bit more hirsute than normal. Shaggy brown hair reached down his cheeks and neck, far longer and fuller than he was ever able to grow on his own. “I’m turning into a werewolf?”

Mabel hopped up from the bed and hugged him from behind. “Yeah but so far a totes adorable one. You’re like a big fluffy puppy!”

His sister’s scent filled Dipper’s nose and he nearly staggered as it seemed to occupy his whole brain. Mabel’s fingers wriggled into the thick hair that was growing on his torso, sending shivers of electricity up and down his body. He banged a hand on the table in an effort to keep a hold on himself. “What does the journal say about a cure?”

Ty raised an eyebrow at him. “Would you like the good news or the bad news first?”

“Ugh, good news, I guess.”

“The good news is that it’s not permanent. The wereflu runs its course over three to four days and then everything goes back to normal.”

Dipper let out a sigh of relief. “And the bad news?”

“You’re in the beginning stages right now, so there’s lots more to come.”

Mabel started to giggle behind her brother’s back. She reached an inquisitive hand up and felt Dipper’s bottom. “Is that a tail in your PJs or are you just happy to see me?”

Dipper struggled out her arms and pulled down the back of his pajama pants. Sure enough, a short little tail was sprouting from his backside. He tried to peer closer at it and ended up walking in a couple of circles before Mabel grabbed him by the shoulders and pointed his butt at the mirror.

“Oh jeeze. How am I going to keep everybody from noticing this?”

“Least of your problems, Dipbutt.” Ty flipped the journal around to show them the relevant pages. There was a series of transitional drawings, showing a human figure morphing into a form indistinguishable from a wolf.

Mabel proffered an idea. “We put a collar on him and pretend we found this dog in the woods.”

“How does that explain where I’ve gone in the meantime?”

“Ok. Fair point.” Ty shrugged. “If you just stay in here for a couple days, and stay ‘sick,’ nobody would have to see you.”

“If one of us stayed locked up here for four days, even Grunkle Stan would get worried and come to check.” Dipper put a finger to his chin and thought for a second. “Do you think he and Soos could manage without us for a few days?”

“Probably, we’re really only here for the busy part of the season next month. Other than that I think it’s mostly so Stan doesn’t have actually pay anybody to work here.”

Dipper looked from one sister to the other. “How would you two feel about a little triplet camping trip?”

*****

“Man, so you think that was werewolf poo?” Mabel adjusted her pack as they walked.

Her brother was pretty much his normal shape still, a few paces ahead and sometimes teetering under the weight of his own pack. “It’s the only explanation I can come up with. And where else you expect a wolf man to go? That can’t just walk into a gas station and ask for the bathroom key.”

“I suppose,” Ty said from the rear of their little group, “that means we’ll need to be on the look out for one while we’re out here.”

“That’s why we headed out from the shack in the exact opposite direction from where I went yesterday.”

They spotted a promising looking level spot on the mountainside for their campsite, protected on the side toward the peak by an outcropping of rock and a stream not far away. After they’d reach it, they deposited their packs on the ground and started to extract their equipment from them.

“Hey Ty,” Mabel’s voice rose to her usual, telling-a-joke sing-song, “wanna know the easiest way to pitch a tent?”

Ty dutifully obliged. “Of course, I would.”

Mabel sidled up to her brother, tapped him on the shoulder, and when he turned toward her, threw her arms around him. She leaned heavily against his chest, and buried her face into the fur of his shoulder and neck. After lingering moment of time, she separated from him and gestured at his pelvis with one hand. “Ta-da!” She cried triumphantly.

Dipper spun away from them and frantically tried to rectify the situation in his pants. Mabel threw her head back laughter and Ty giggled a little.

“I don’t know why you’re so embarrassed, Dip.” Ty tried to sound comforting. “We’ve both seen you excited before. A lot actually. There’s nothing to hide.”

“I just feel kind of exposed out here.”

“Well that’s dumb.” Mabel made a dismissive gesture with one hand. “There isn’t anybody out here for miles!” As if to reinforce her assertion, the last word echoed off into the distance for a long time. “Heck if it’s as hot tomorrow as it was today, than we’re going skinny dipping in that stream over there.”

By the time the sun was setting and they were preparing an evening meal of hotdogs and s’mores. Dipper was shifting nervously whenever he sat in one place or pacing around the camp. The girls huddled together against the growing chill and watch him for a while before finally Mabel broke down and had to speak.

“Are you gonna do that all night or do you want to come over here and cuddle with two hot little pieces of booty?”

Ty bumped her sister’s shoulder with her own. “Speak for yourself, I’m a refined lady that just happens to have a hot little booty.”

Dipper scratched at the collar of his shirt with one hand and tried to adjust his pants to a more comfortable position with the other. The bulge of his tail was visible down one pant leg, straining against the fabric. “Sorry, I’m just a bit uncomfortable. Getting kind of itchy and hot.”

Mabel cupped her hands to her mouth and yelled. “Take it off!”

Dipper laughed nervously but actually tugged down on the hem of his t-shirt as if to make sure it was more on than ever. “Look, stuff is probably already pretty weird under here and I don’t think it’s gonna get less weird any time soon. I don’t think you guys really want to see me.”

“Are you kidding?” Mabel jumped to her feet. “I’ve never been more curious about anything in my life!”

Ty rose as well, took her sister’s hand and went over to take Dipper’s as well. “The three of us have a very skewed scale for weird, bro. You really don’t have anything to be scared of.”

Dipper breathed in a deep lungful of air and then took a sharp step away. “Ok, ok but keep back, will ya? When you two get close its really overpowering.” The girls shared a look at that comment. Dipper pulled off his t-shirt and kicked his tennis shoes off his feet. Finally he dropped trou and stretched naked in the fire light. Then as if it were the easiest thing in the world, he gave his entire body a huge shake, like a dog that’s just come out of a lake.

“Wow,” Mabel side. “That’s bizarro.”

Dipper’s ears went back and he looked away at her comment.

“Oh I mean good bizarro.” She back pedalled furiously. “Really cool looking and not like ‘yuck’ or anything.”

Ty was taking a careful visual survey of her brother. “You look a bit like a wookie at this stage, cept for the ears and tail, of course. It’s really cool that your fur’s the same color as your hair is.” She almost took a step toward him and then stopped herself, remembering his request.

Dipper smiled wanly and then actually chuckled. Then he stuck his fists in the air and imitated Chewbacca’s roaring growl noise. All three of them laughed heartily; the tension starting to ease out of the air a little. The girls went to sit back by the fire. Dipper paused for a moment, then crouched, almost sitting on his haunches.

They sat for a while, not saying much. The fire crackled and collapsed slightly. Ty leant over and placed a kiss on her sister’s temple, who in kind turned back toward her so they were face to face. They kissed deeply. When Ty came back up for air she glanced over as if just now remembering that Dipper was there too. Her eyes when a little wide.

“Ok, that’s new. Well, not new but you know-” she was very obviously trying not to stare at what was now sticking up between Dipper’s legs, “-not what I’m used to.”

Dipper looked down and then jumped in surprise.

Mabel turned to see and laughed. “Achievement unlocked: Red Rocket!”

Their brother started grasping around for something to put over his lap and found his discarded t-shirt. “Sorry about that.”

Ty sighed. “We’re not trying to embarrass you, Dippin-sauce. I’m sorry I even mentioned it; it was very-” she paused to think of the right word, “-high contrast.”

“It looked like a tube of lipstick.” Mabel tried to stifle her giggle.

“Not helping.” Ty said through clenched teeth.

“Can we just change the subject off my weird looking junk for now?” Dipper sat crosslegged by the fire, adjusting the t-shirt to minimize the visual effect his excitement.

“Well,” Ty asked, “then will you tell us what it is with you and smell since all this started.”

“Oh that.” Dipper scratched behind one ear with the fingers of his hand. “It’s like my nose is on overdrive right now. I mean, I normally really like the way you two smell, but since yesterday it’s really overpowering.”

“But it’s only when we’re close?” Mabel leaned forward and dropped another log on their fire.

“I can smell you even over here, with the smoke and fire between us. I can tell you both used the same bug spray but different sunscreen. Mabel, you still smell of that cherry lime lip gloss even though you haven’t put any on since we left the shack this morning. Ty, you’ve still got some gum in your shorts pocket. We’re actually burning two different kinds of wood in this fire and I can even still smell the juice that dripped onto the logs when we were cooking dinner. But if one of you gets close enough, god damn, it’s like my whole brain gets taken over by it and some part of me wakes up and it wants nothing more than to just be close to that wonderful smell.”

“Do we smell different?” Ty asked.

“Oh yea,” Dipper nodded, “that’s not new. Mabel is a little fruitier, more sweet, and it’s not your bath products cause you’re kind of more sugary when you’re just a little sweaty. Ty, you’re more herbal or rich; like a really well made leather purse filled with fresh cut flowers.”

Mabel looked like she considered this for a moment, then leaned over and sniffed the side of Ty’s face. “Yea ok. I could get behind a flowery purse.”

Ty gave Dipper a look tinged with longing. “Bro, would it be ok if I got close for a minute? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable but…”

“No it’s ok; thanks for the warning.”

The middle triplet rose and strode over to where he sat, then bent down over him. Dipper’s muscles tensed as her long hair started to brush against his shoulders. He felt her hand rest on the back of his head and her face come very close to his scalp. She inhaled deeply. Her voice was warm when she spoke. “Yep, still Dipper. Kinda musky and dark.”

Mabel’s face rose in excitement. “Oh! Are you talking when he’s in that sweat zone between hasn’t showered recently but isn’t full of boy stink yet?” Ty nodded to her. “That is the best.” She caught Dipper’s eyes. “Can I? Please.” He nodded and she sprinted over to him. She looked for a moment like she was going to tackle him but stopped short. Instead,s he knelt by him and brought her face near to his fur.

Dipper’s heart was pounding in his chest; his head was swimming. He hadn’t felt like this since before last Thanksgiving, before he’d known how open to his advances his sisters would be. He was terrified again, because he wanted so badly to touch them, be with them in all ways, but right now it seemed like the worst possible thing.

A slender hand slid along his cheek; another scratched under the fur on the back of his neck. He thought he ought to rise, to remove himself from a situation he thought was getting out of hand before he lost control and did something that might upset them.

“It’s late.” A voice said near by him and it was one of the few times in his life when he’d been unable to identify which sister was speaking. “I think it’s time we all got in that tent.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t.” He managed to stammer; his brain was so full of their smells, swirling together and driving him crazy.

A finger tapped forcefully against the side of Dipper’s head. He started to focus again a little and was able to make out his sister’s faces only a few inches from his. “Look, dweeb.” Mabel’s voice was full of affection. “We know what we’re asking.” She waggled her eyebrows at him. “Lets let the animal out a little.”

*****

Dipper was awake long before sunrise, but he lay amid the tangle of bodies and limbs for a very long time, just soaking in the pleasure. Camping was something they were going to need to add to their regular list of activities. It was probably one of the few ways in the world that three people their age could be really alone without having to worry too much. They might need to start bringing a couple of tents, though, just to keep up appearances.

Eventually the call of nature started to tug at Dipper and despite wanting very much to continue his tradition of being a late riser, he gave up and left the tent. He was in the open of the campsite before he realized that he was on all fours and that it felt more natural than walking on two normally did.

Well, he thought, this was to be expected. Just a couple of days and I can go back to being me.

He paused on the way to the stream near their camp to hike a leg against a tree, laughing internally at himself as he did so. Then he continued down to the water and looked himself over in the makeshift mirror of the surface. If he hadn’t known any better, Dipper would never have guessed he wasn’t looking at a real wolf, or at least a big wolf-like dog. He tamped down the worry inside himself and tried his hardest to enjoy it. He’d had such a good night that he had to let some of that spill over into today.

He raised his head and sniffed the air; it was so amazing what this new nose could do. He could count the species of trees and could catch hints of rabbits and other small creatures up wind of him. There was something else, too, a smell he wasn’t sure about. It was meaty and harsh, like a two day old steak that had been rubbed with a bar of tallow soap. It was almost familiar

Dipper’s ears twitched as he heard a sound. Some dark instinct inside him said that that was a large paw being placed very carefully among the underbrush. A low growl escaped Dipper’s throat before he even realized he was doing it. The long fur on his neck and shoulders was rising on its own and a loud, wordless voice was screaming in Dipper’s brain.

Protect. Protect. Protect.

This was his territory. His family was here. His mates were here. He’d peed on it. It was his. He spotted the source of the smell and sound a dozen yards or so away on the opposite banks of the stream. A tawny wolf that looked to be the size of a horse was carefully pacing through the trees, keeping one of its yellow eyes on Dipper at all times. Dipper finally put two and two together and he recognized the smell. Yesterday, when he’d been swearing and cleaning his shoe, this smell had been underneath all the stink, the lowest undercurrent of a river. This was the werewolf.

Wolfs don’t have a spoken language of any kind. Even howling is more about location than meaning. But two wolves face to face can make their intentions known to one another. Dipper and the werewolf stared each other in the eye for a long time, and the bigger one’s intentions were not subtle.

You have something I want, pup. I am just deciding the easiest way to take it.

Dipper was obviously new to all of this, but he was pretty sure he was making himself clear as well.

If you take so much as one step closer, I’ll make you wish you’d never been born.

The bigger wolf’s posture changed very subtly. He ceased its pacing and sat on his haunches. He didn’t growl or posture and he could not have been more easy to understand.

You can try all you want but I’ll be standing over your corpse in about thirty seconds no matter what you do, little boy.

Dipper’s brain worked furiously. He’d never been in a dogfight before. The way his body was moving so naturally told him that at least some instinctual part of him had pulled out this body’s manual and could be relied on. Still, the other wolf was twice his size and had certainly been at this longer than he. He needed an advantage, something that would level the playing field.

Dipper threw his head back and howled.

The tawny wolf actually looked surprised at this and his stunned expression lasted the full length of Dipper’s howl. The moment the descending note from Dipper ended, though, he sprang into action. The sudden movement triggered reflexes on both sides and in an instant two furry bodies hurtled through the space between them and collided in a crash.

They were a ball of flashing teeth and fur. Dipper was relying on his instincts but he wasn’t letting them rule him. He didn’t go for the throat; he didn’t take openings on his opponent’s vulnerables. Dipper dodged absolutely everything he could and what few bites he attempted were to harry and slow the bigger animal. To that effect, he did manage some success; he scored a hit on the rear leg just above the ankle that immediately began to flow with blood.

But his luck couldn’t hold out forever and in their maneuvering, they had neared the water’s edge. One of Dipper’s paws tried to take hold on a slick wet rock and flew up from under his weight. The dark little wolf took a sprawling tumble into the stream and his head bounced off tree root, stunning him. Dipper felt teeth at the back of his neck.

He thought dryly, this is going to be hard death to explain if anyone askes.

A sound like an overfilled car tire being stabbed rang through the forest, followed briefly by a whistling noise and unwinding cable. Then the pressure on Dipper’s neck released and he heard the werewolf cry out in pain. He managed to raise his head above the water and saw his sisters at the top of the stream bank, naked, sleep ruffled, and looking like valkyries.

Mabel was braced against a tree, straining to hold the force being put on her grappling hook as it hauled the werewolf toward them. As it neared, Ty stepped forward to meet it and held a bright orange pistol at arm’s length. She put the flare gun against the creature’s cheek and pulled the trigger.

Dipper hauled himself to his paws and trudged over to the limp form of the werewolf. It wasn’t dead, but the side of its head looked like a war zone. He stood over the bigger creature, growled low, and knew he was understood.

I told you, dumbass. Now crawl away and never come back.

*****

A few hours later Dipper lay with his head on Ty’s lap while she read by the midmorning sun. They’d managed to clean themselves up and, although Dipper had a lump growing on the side of his head, they’d reasoned that they’d come out of this about as well as could be expected.

The sun felt good and Dipper was seriously considering a doggy nap when he heard Mabel’s footsteps as she returned from a little exploration. “Man, is it colder today than it was yesterday?” She asked as she rummaged in her pack for a long sleeved shirt.

Dipper’s ears perked. They’d checked the weather forecast before leaving the shack and it was supposed to be even hotter today. Then Ty sneezed and Dipper wanted to smack his own forehead; which was currently more trouble than it was worth.

Other carriers of the disease, of course, Dipper thought. At least we told Grunkle Stan we’d be gone a week. That should be enough time for everything to be back to normal.

#pinecest #pinebypine #gftripletau

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novantinuum · 8 years ago

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A little while back when you drew that SHAMELESS STANGST you mentioned you were working on an AU. Can you tell us about it?

(the ‘shameless stangst’ art in question is this)

aaAAAA I’m so glad you asked!! It makes me so happy that at least one person in this world is interested in my silly ideas, ahahah… First off, I would like to apologize for how long it’s taken to respond. I really wanted to sketchily illustrate a scene from this story I’ve got caught in my mind…

Overall, this AU is my excuse to imagine what might happen and how dynamics and events would change if Weirdmageddon were to come too early. (Specifically, if it happened almost directly after NWHS.)

Generally, it begins like so… (More thoughts under cut. Buckle in, it gets long.)

Ford is accidentally injured by his own grenade during his fight with Bill and returns through the portal in severe condition. That comic I made chronicles the VERY first events in this AU, basically.

Stan realizes there’s no way in hell his brother will survive (too much blood loss) without actually competent medical care and instructs Soos (with Dipper and Mabel) to rush Ford to the nearest hospital, which is a good distance outside of town. He ends up hoping in his car and using himself as ‘bait’ to get the FBI away from the shack long enough for them to get out.

Stan’s captured by the FBI, and held in that darn town jail again, ofc. This time, under more guard. He’s supposed to be airlifted out of town to a more secure facility the next morning.

While Ford’s in ICU, Soos ends up calling Wendy late that evening to see if she could bring up a change of clothes for the kids since they can’t be seen in town for a bit with the FBI crawling about. They plan to grab a motel room once they know Ford’s stable.

Wendy (illegally) snatches her dad’s truck, gathers up some stuff, and begins to drive to the hospital. Just as she edges out of town, she sees something colorful ripple in her rearview mirror. Wendy slams to a stop and gets out of the truck to see this strange, monumental wall now separating her from Gravity Falls. It’s kinda hard to tell, but it looks like she’s standing at the edge of a huge dome? And when she touches it, the surface of this barrier feels almost gelatinous, and ripples under her finger. Low-key freaked out and unsure of what else to do, she gets back to the truck and rushes to the hospital, hoping that maybe Dipper’s journal will know what’s going on…

Yes, essentially Bill broke into this dimension way earlier than he was supposed to because Ford was not there in the Shack to encase the rift. The rift cleaved into the fabric of reality when he returned to this dimension was left alone to grow and split even more.

Overall, the Weirdmageddon that will follow occurs while the town is already in shambles from the portal’s activation, and without the unicorn spell being in place on the Shack. Stan ends up being held captive by Bill, as bait to lure Ford back into town, because Bill can sense that he’s not dead and he needs his knowledge to escape. There’s close to no resistance in town this time, barring McGucket and a few others he finds in the woods who are hiding away in the bunker.

Outside Gravity Falls, meanwhile…

Ford’s injuries consist of lacerations that need to be stitched and a few burns. Some of the grenade shrapnel ended up denting his metal plate on the left side of his skull, to the point where it was putting a dangerous amount of pressure on his skull and beginning to cause bruising. (Subdural hematoma, likely.)

Now, neither the doctors nor Soos and the kids could explain why this mystery man had an entire METAL PLATE fastened over his skull, but they ended up surgically removing a bit of the dented section to relieve the pressure. Ford is stable now and all is good, fear not.

By this point Soos, Wendy, Dipper, and Mabel all know vaguely what’s going on to Gravity Falls. They caught a news broadcast from Shandra Jimenez reporting on “a giant floating triangle wrecking the town” and put the pieces together. They’re all worrying for their friends and family and desperately want to run back to help them but… there’s also this other great uncle to worry about. The great uncle that they haven’t even properly met yet because of the awful circumstances.

When Ford finally comes to a day or so later, the first thing he notices is… the strange emptiness he feels in his mind. Like he’s missing something. He quickly realizes what must have happened when he feels the bandages on the side of his head and fears he’s fallen into Bill’s clutches and that he’s ripped out the metal plate. He tries fighting one of the nurses when they bring Soos and Mabel back, initially believing them to be shapeshifters.

He’s eventually calmed down though. Through the power of persuasion. (and Mabel!) Thus cue tired and awkward introductions, and Ford realizing that he’s actually home. The realization doesn’t fully set in until Dipper and Wendy switch out to visit and Dipper shows him his old journal.

Of course, then comes the fated question of “Where’s Stanley?”

Oh hell.

Stanley’s trapped in Gravity Falls still. They all know as such, because there was a story on the news about FBI personal trying to land a helicopter in the town after Weirdmageddon started and they were never heard from again. And thus come internal and external conflicts such as:

1) Weirdmageddon. How to stop it. All of the weapons Ford came through the portal with are still in the Shack. They’d have to trail across Gravity Falls unnoticed by Bill to snatch it.

2) Grunkle Stan. Dipper feels awful knowing he’s trapped, because long after they arrived at the hospital, he realized he had that memory erasing gun with him. If only he could have remembered this, maybe they could have erased the FBI agents’ minds? Made them forget? And maybe Grunkle Stan could be there with them too. They didn’t know Great Uncle Ford, but he DID. He’d know what to do.

3) Everyone worrying about their friends and family, and not knowing if they’ll ever see them again.

4) The gang has a hard time convincing Ford to actually stay in the hospital for a bit to actually recover, instead of him running off to try and rescue Stan from Bill.

5) Ford’s metal plate. A good portion of it’s been removed, and with it, the mental protection from Bill it granted. Ford fears that the second he even STEPS into Gravity Falls Bill will immediately possess him again. Ofc because he feels shame over his past mistakes in trusting Bill, he declines to let anyone else know about this.

This is just some of the set-up, and there’s plenty more shit I’ve thought about, but from there (once Ford becomes 100% sick of remaining in the hospital for any longer than he physically has to) it goes into them all actually trying to break back into Gravity Falls to stop Bill.

There’s probably going to be a lot of angst, but fear not- it will all culminate in a happy ending for everyone besides Bill (who will suffer muahahah) and there eventually will be lots of bonding. And heck, probably a lot of bonding in between. You can still bond with family and friends and relatives you never knew existed while facing the end of the world, right? Right.

But hey, not everything’s set in stone for this yet. Please, if you have any interest in this, don’t hesitate to chat with me about it or send me random thoughts or ask me questions. I’d love to flesh aspects of this out through collaboration and on-the-spot thinking and so forth. Yay!

(If you thought this was cool, please do a starving artist a huge favor and consider reblogging it? AU ideas are really hard to spread alone. Thanks!)

#jokingly i call this 'worstmageddon'#but y-yeah it still doesn't have a name #halp #my post stuff #my art stuff #my as-of-yet unnamed gf au #gravity falls #weirdmageddon #stanford pines #stanley pines #soos ramirez #wendy corduroy #dipper pines #mabel pines #fiddleford mcgucket #gravity falls au #gravity falls fanart #my au stuff

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