#AND TRY GET TOP GRADES
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yall i've been distraught after all my friends decided to drop their dreams and i just... can't. i'm not able to. the past year i decided to give up on mine too 🙁 but i felt so lost bc i don't know what else to do. so this may be the stupidest decision ever and i may look like an idiot for it, and i might fail and it'll crush me. but i'm not gonna give up on what i've wanted my whole life, in fact, i'm going to try my very fucking hardest to achieve what i want (despite the very, very little chance i have of succeeding), and every day i'm repeating to myself that taylor swift quote 😭 "never be ashamed of trying". LONG STORY SHORT, ANYONE WHO NEEDS TO HEAR THIS, HERE YOU GO:
NEVER BE ASHAMED OF TRYING; EFFORTLESS IS A MYTH.
#i'vegotten over my depression#i am a new person#im tired of feeling lost so#i decided to stop being a pussy abt it 🥰#you should also stop being a pussy about pursuing dreams and such#BTW#I AM OBVIOUSLY STILL GOING TO DO WELL IN SCHOOL#AND TRY GET TOP GRADES#AND GO TO A GOOD UNI#IM NOT A DUMB FUCK
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my top controversial Zim headcanon is that Zim actually performs absurdly well at skool because
1. he's a perfectionist with a compulsive reaction to ANY system of scoring
2. I 100% believe test scores are this guy's forte because he had to become an Invader SOMEHOW and he sure as hell wasn't passing based on the practical
3. He has hyper-advanced alien AI to do his homework for him. like come on.
meanwhile Dib is really only scraping by on raw intelligence and the inherent educational advantage of having a mad scientist father. He doesn't have TIME to study, there's an evil alien he has to stalk and besides, you know what's better than a high school diploma? The Nobel Peace Prize for proving the existence of extraterrestrial life.
#invader zim#zim#dib#zadp#iz posting#natterings#not actually my top controversial headcanon but i believe in working your way up to the cancelable stuff#anyway dib may or may not get more serious with it as he gets older#but at twelve years old i do not believe for a minute this kid gives a fuck about grades handed to him by stupid people#hes probably doing pretty okay at math and any sciences but i dont even want to IMAGINE how he performs on say#literature#he doesnt have time to read a whole BOOK hes trying to save the world here#though naturally if anyone pointed out to him that hey isnt it fucked up the literal alien is doing better in human subjects than you#we'd see a turn around REAL fast#that or hed just spend all his time trying to prove that zims been cheating which#yeah not likely to get him very far
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i think light yagami is "socially adept" in terms of being able to reason out relatively well what to say and do to come off as a harmless and good and polite young man who is likeable to be around. however i do not think "socially adept" (or "neurotypical") typically comes with having to preface every other normal-passing action and statement with a minor crisis of "ah shit. quick, what would i say/do in response to this if i was light yagami, a normal and nice and respectable young man?"
everyone likes to talk about him talking about kira in third person but can we acknowledge that he also talks about LIGHT in third person. i'm not adding manga panels at 3:57am but y'all know exactly which ones i mean
#light is decent at masking but he is NOT coming off as perfect to anyone who looks at him with a critical eye. like L or near#it's just that a lot of people take him at face value#he's handsome he gets top grades his dad is the police chief his family adores him girls like him etc#and he gets to skate off of that a lot until someone comes around and questions the mask#he unravels so fast once he gets closer to L. he fucks up the misa thing so badly even HE has to admit to L's face#that kira probably didn't think things through with the second kira and kind of panicked#ughhhhhhhhhhh i have so many thoughts about him. he works very hard to come off as socially competent. it's a learned skill not innate#i firmly believe there is some shit going on w light in terms of mental conditions. HOWEVER#i also believe he was relatively 'normal' up until the death note sent a lot of that shit spiralling#lots of mentally ill people live pretty normal lives it turns out! a lot of us can get by and sort of manage!#even if it means masking and coping as needed#i don't think you have to be mentally ill to react to the death note the way light did#i do think it oiled some clockwork that was already ticking though#anyway. light is socially competent to some degree because he tries to be. sometimes it backfires. sometimes he misses. normal stuff#trying to say he is objectively socially adept or inept is futile though#but ig what is death note without black and white thinking and what is the dn fandom without diving into the nuances under the surface layer
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What if Kevin had gone to Wymack after Kayleigh died. What if Kayleigh figured out her time was running out but could not for the life of her (literally) figure out how or if her son would be safe. What if Kayleigh Day knew that Kevin ending up with The Ravens would be the worst outcome and had made sure that plans were in place for Kevin to go to Wymack.
What if Wymack shows up at her funeral, seeing little Kevin and can't believe how much he looks like Kayleigh in person. How much he looks like him. And only finds out that he was Kevin's chosen guardian as per her wishes when her lawyer approaches him at the will reading. What if Tetsuji and Riko tried to fight that claim but Wymack immediately jumped on that responsibility.
What if Wymack raised Kevin?
#shut up capt#callum rumbles#Wymack already having the Foxes and Abby but being unable to let go of them for Kevin so he takes both in stride#Kevin being able to go to an actual highschool and being pretentious as he was always destined to be#getting top grades in all of his History/Social Studies classes but having chemistry blow up in his face#Wymack trying to help Kevin with some complicated Algebra 2 but throwing the papers across the table#Kevin always hanging around Wymack during practice and picking up on good coaching skills and maybe not so great language#Father & Son days where they are a bit awkward but are ultimately comfortable around each other because Kevin has been around longer#maybe when Kevin is a teenager Tetsuji gives Wymack the Kayleigh Letter#they do a paternity test immediately#but Kevin was already his son#he was already 'Dad'#the letter changes nothing besides kevin knowing who his bio dad is#Wymack calling him a plethora of bad Son nicknames and subjecting Kevin to dad jokes#by the time he is enrolled in Palmetto Wymakc has made too many references to Kevin's childhood that medicated Andrew brings them up 24/7#'kevin i know you hated cliantro from ages 10 to 12 so dont make drink that sludge unless you want it shoved down your throat'#'dad has got to stop talking about me to you assholes'#aftg#kevin day#david wymack#coach wymack#kayleigh day#dont tell me if you cant do this irl let me live in ignorance /lh j
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Fic idea: Before or during his Red Hood plan. A returned from the pit Jason Todd is determined to make it to his high school senior prom
WAIT EVEN BETTER, It'd be longer and harder to write but I really like the idea of Jason just casually going to highschool too, and maybe it leads up to the prom. He just shows back up one day. Does something that manages to keep media attention off of him. Would it be before Red Hood? would it encourage him to not don the helmet? Would he do it while Red Hooding? Would he finally get to join an after school theater club?
#jason todd#red hood#dc comics#batman#theres Multiple stories about his school though i cant remember off the top of my head#immediately what comes to me is an annual where he's shown being friends with 3 boys who try to change their grades#its a very fun story#now i dont separate pre and post crisis in my mind well so the rest is probably most likely pre#-the bullies who tried to get others to do drugs#-rena(?) his girlfriend (definitely precrisis)#-the two girls who saw him reading a newspaper and said he was like a silver fox or something#i wpuld like to edit this to show comic numbers eventually#ANYWAY#back to the post#does anyone know he's alive? well. no. but he and talia can certainly have some strings pulled to make it look it#i cant stop thinking about this actually#i want him to go to prom and hang out with kids his age who knew him#and mostly thought he was a loser nerd stick in the mud. i feel jason would prefer that over the anger narrative the heros have#jason getting to dress in a fancy little suit! having a quick dance with rena!#i never got to go to prom so i am projection my desire onto jason also#its not like a big desire but im sad i never got to experience it#fic prompt#?#do i have a tag for this#EDIT: Comic references in the reblog now !
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i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny
also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade
-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)
-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)
-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)
-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)
my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath
in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do
#base line i started sobbing IN THE MIDDLE OF MATH CLASS and had my phone taken away bc i was watching the mv for the ghost of you by mcr#i went to school with cat whiskers#me and my bsf made a presentation about an imaginary trip to the planet uranus and we filled it with so many memes and butt puns she started#laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and i had to do the entire presentation alone and we got a standing ovation#my 8th grade science teacher hated us#another time same class we had an assignment where we had to make a bunch of words with the periodic table and we did shrek and lucifer one#after another and when we turned it in our teacher read it and immediately told us to leave💀💀#same class again different friend we saw NA on the periodic table and started singing nanana by mcr and got sent out of class bc we started#laughing so hard we couldn't breathe#high school i would eddie munson on the lunch tables#found that aspect of eddie so relatable#filmed youtube videos at my old hs that STILL EXIST ON MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL#id honestly have them up for anyone to see but my old bsf found them extremely embarrassing and she thinks i deleted them#i used to go to school with a whole library in my backpack like the entire pjo/hoo series of unfortunate events harry potter etc#my backpack had a bunch of doodles on it and it said battaco big asf and it was an inside joke with my friends for years bc of it#i also used to go to school dressed as frank iero/gerard way/etc#pete wentz eyeliner#larped with the anime club in this little corner outside of the library bc it had a bunch of trees and a 6 ft long stick that we took turns#holding and screaming YOU SHALL NOT PASS‼️‼️#the middle school book club had movies days on fridays and when people tried to vote to watch the lighting thief movie i stood on my chair#and spent so long bitching about how bad it was that we had to do the movie the next monday bc people needed to go home and the librarian#could not stop my righteous fury#a teacher assaulted me trying to get me to stand for the flag so i dead weight dropped on top of him and then ran around the class to stay#away(real hard to do in a small music classroom) and when i got tired of that i beat him up a little and i didnt get in trouble bc he was#really embarrassed i got the drop on him(bc i had tiddies)#that man hated me for being trans#really got mad at me when the pledge started after that and id get up and salute while singing welcome to the black parade#was also genuinely bad at soccer that my teacher sent me off to other teachers when our class did soccer bc the only time i ever got the#ball i kicked it into the wrong goal#i got more stories but i ran out of tags :(
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one weird part of my job is sometimes I get little old ladies with sweet hearts poking through the compost box on the bottom of my cart that tell me I shouldn't be throwing away what I am throwing away. Like yeah, I get it. Food waste sucks! I hate throwing anything away. But everything down there is rotting or bruised or withered or just ugly enough that I know it will sit on the shelf until it is rotting, bruised, and withered. I cannot mark it down, and you will not buy it at full price. "But poor people---!" Poor people deserve food that isn't moldy or bruised or withered or ugly! And afaik our company already donates actually edible food to pantries!
#this has happened a handful of times like yes i get it but please understand what you're actually asking for#call corporate if you are unhappy with our compost going to pig farmers as feed.#or that you'd like for us to implement a markdown system for produce (like we already have for meat/bread/etc)#i cannot do anything here store-side#just a vent dont mind meee#u#and jsut. the number of times i've told customers 'yeah this is still fully edible so if it's in your house looking like this then its fine#'but no on is going to buy it looking like this'#ANYWAY while I'm here if that site is still around that sells 'ugly produce' to reduce food waste it is a complete scam#produce is graded and ugly stuff that is still edible goes to plants that turn it into soups or jellies or various other products.#it doesn't get thrown away for being ugly unless it gets to a store and even then we do still try to sell it#and i purposefully put uglier shit where I know it'll get grabbed by ppl who dgaf.#thank you customers who dgaf!!!!!!!!! you're my favorite#ppl who dig to the bottom when there is new shit on the top: please fuck right off. you didn't even look. you didn't even try.
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yes it's just me whining about the same thing for the billionth time, pls just scroll past nothing new to see here 👋
#i just want to enjoy the summer but i feel like i don't deserve to if i'm not constantly trying to become employed again 😭#''apply for jobs then? problem solved'' uh-huh yes but!! i also hate applying for jobs#job seeking can be so incredibly humiliating#first i have to send them a letter BEGGING to be invited to an interview#and then i have to try and convince them that i am actually competent and good at my job even though you have my cv right there#and then afterwards they call me to tell me they found someone who they liked better than me#(or rather someone who was more competent than me judging by their work history etc.)#it's like ''yes we are hiring but not YOU specifically lol''#like. at school if you take a test you get the grade you deserve based on how you did in the exam.#it's something you can actually directly affect yourself#but if someone who's applying for the same job with me has more work experience or whatever they will get hired over me no matter what i do#(at least that's how it usually works on my field)#in which case it doesn't matter if i do well in the interview or nah. bc the other person was always going to be picked for the job anyway#and yes one could say i can then be satisfied if i did my best but it's little consolation when i'm still unemployed!!#and so every time i apply for a job and get rejected it feels like a personal failure#and to avoid that feeling of failure i want to avoid applying for jobs altogether#so yeah. being active in job seeking is more likely to relieve me from this misery but job seeking is ALSO misery. so 🤷♀️#that on top of the fact i don't even _want_ to apply for all the open positions on my field#but i feel obliged to because it's what i have a degree on. and when i'm unemployed i don't have the luxury to choose which ones i apply fo#i can't afford to be picky#I DON'T DREAM OF LABOUR I JUST NEED MONEY TO LIVE BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO DO JUST ANY JOB! I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THAT!#i don't want to come home crying from work every day because i hate every single aspect of my life INCLUDING my job 😭#when this semester i actually HAD a job i didn't mind waking up to every morning 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair#to conclude i don't deserve to enjoy myself in the summer because i'm not doing enough to fix my unemployement situation#(just like i don't deserve to feel sad about being lonely because i don't work hard enough to maintain deep friendships#but that's a crisis for another day! stay tuned ✌️)
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haha between how stressful and busy work is & how overwhelmed by school i am, i got a zero on an assignment because we were so overloaded with work and i missed one of the assignments due for the module yesterday. brb going to go cry and drag my butt back into indesign. consider me afk for a lil' while longer.
#𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 ⠀⠀(⠀ⅰ.⠀)⠀⠀𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑:⠀⠀ಇ⠀⠀oh-kae!#i just finished packing up the rest of our old office at work#that we're leasing back out#and that i had to move out. by myself. <3#i am so beyond physically tired.#and i already spent hours upon hours at the start of the week and last night working on assignments.#bc i'm just trying to manage it after working all day every day too.#i took a half day today at least to get on top of it but getting that pop up notif for my 0 grade really just.#is pushing me over the edge LOL.#my mind is so beyond fried right now i wanna cry.#it brought me down from a 98.7% to a 95% which i know is still good but.#i'm an academic over achiever and this makes me want to die. <3
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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urgh you know that post about "people who weren't abused don't wish they were abused"
I'm having a real fun night wrestling with that
#add these together real quick for me#high expectations plus high capability but executive dysfunction making me fail at school for 17 years 12 grades and one year of college#fucked sleep cycle bc i was recovering from school so late into the night that i rarely got more than 6-7 hours meaning i woke up sleepy#for all of high school needing to run to school to not be late so on top of waking up late I'm also exhausted when i get to school#having friends but no real close friends *in* school plus a bad relationship giving me serious abandonment issues#and dealing with parents and family that constantly Know Better Than Me especially when im being political#plus ADHD making it difficult for me to argue effectively or even converse for a long time bc i lose focus and space out way too easily#i don't. i. i just. urgh. i know i'm a bit of a basket case but i don't have to like it#...can't even cuddle my blahaj right now... hell world hell world hell world#i think i will simply try to cry. i say try bc i spent years suppressing my ability to cry bc i was supposed to Be A Man and Men Don't Cry#so that'll probably fail. but ill try anyway. and put on some music#then fall asleep and hope that i wake up feeling a little better#...i think im an optimist bc pessimism would kill me
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bf says ive been going thru it and doing really well at that. bursts into tears.
#im like a toddler that needs a nap except ive badly needed a nap every minute of every day for a week because covid#and im trying really hard#im actually really okay. i don't have my first math test for another week and two days and if i did terrible on#the bio test today my lowest test grade gets dropped and it's okay. it's okay. it's okay.#i am recovering and working and in a class that is very hard for me and i miss simon so bad. i was too tired to drive last weekend#and couldn't go the one prior to that bc covid obviously#it's okay it's okay it's okay#also im getting the depo provera shot in november. i'm fully over it#also the fatigue is getting better by the day. it's okay. it's okay#getting the shot. seeing si on friday. my math prof is very kind and understands that i'm struggling and wants to help. fatigue is getting#better. turns out i don't have work tomorrow. im gonna play valo w seity sometime soon that will be SO fun.#new comfy desk chair. im gonna put something on and work thru my math hw and submit questions without feeling bad about it#it's okay it's okay it's okay it's okay. im being sooo brave.#he also said it's insane that i've had to work this week because i'm very much still symptomatic. it got me really good this time#the initial sickness wasn't nearly as severe as the last time i had covid but this one is more drawn out#im still having sinus symptoms/pain on top of the fatigue. cried in my car both days that i worked 👍 it's okay. it's okay
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btw to filipino moots im gna be an arenean B) or iskolar ng bayan who knows!
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#my only choices for college r the big 4 personally i'm so sorrey ... but minus ust tbh bcs i rlly dont want to be a thomasian LOL#IT'S JUST REALLY PERSONAL i don't like the culture of ust & etc . i have my reasons. dlsu is ok but ateneo or up is my Dream#may be a surprise but i've always been a straight a student and real smart :3 even in anything to do w filipino#but that is the one thing that drags my grades (slightly) down ..... but my math is so exemplary and i get perfect computer anything always#bs cs future major hereee but since i want ateneo i'm going for dual degree cs bs-dgdd#yeehaw i never talk abt really real life stuff like this but this is still okey#one day u might get a face revea but only for my eyes bcs im sorta obsessed w and unfortunately think im really cute. so#ANYWAY !!!!! excited for college tbh. scared. but yes!#i havent finished my admu app but it is due friday i am so crazy LMFAOOOOOOO but i have recos alr <3 yay <33#rlly confident in myself but i want to be careful and really get what i desevre. gna do my best and try to get top 15% AND MAYBE even 200#but that one specifically is sorta crazy but tbf i could achieve it if i study a bit more :P so ya#it's amazing bcs ... english is literally second nature to me BUT i am and have always been amazing at math & sci#always been a math kid and sci kid AND art kid AND eng kid and music too and computer#idk. just proud of myself. i love me lol#there's a lot to it but no need to get into specifics :3 im just happy w myself yay!
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not that this means anything to anyone but v4 (yellow) I'm rly proud of finally fucking getting at the gym today its taken me 3 visits over the last 3 weeks to nail it. woof......
#the start is NASTY i do it with one foot crammed in the top corner of the right semicircular one and wedge my hands as firmly as i can-#backwards against the top of the other dual tex on the left n push until i can reach the middle n bring my left foot up..#lemme tell u now. those starting holds are higher off the ground than u think 😵💫 theyre above hip height for me#dual tex is slippery hard plastic rather than the usual sandpapery texture of indoor holds btw. see the light reflecting off it? yeah.#fucking death trap for sweaty or chalky hands but in order to use the top of the volume later u 100% need chalk#so i have to start without it n chalk up halfway#also im relatively short (for a climber.. not short generally lol) so i cant reach the volume w both feet secure. was giving me hell 😭#cuz it means i have to put my whole weight on a CURVED DUALTEX SURFACE!!!!! theres not even rly any good spots to smear#so scary. and yeah the finish is a pain without crazy reach too i had to get a whole elbow on top of the black volume before i could#on my like 4th? try today i got one hand on the final hold and my friend watching said out loud wouldnt it be sooo annoying if u fell rn#and i slipped just as he fucking said that bc he put the idea in my head but luckily JUST caught myself w a smear. ASSHOLE (affectionate)#i need to get someone to film me doing it next week i wanna start recording stuff so i can see what i need to work on#n also remember things im proud of getting!!!!#this is my 3rd v4 at this one gym i think.. theyre a little softer abt grading tho i only have 1 v4 under my belt at the other one#some truly disgusting v3s today too. someone got a great pic of me grimacing on one bc i only got one hand to the top#ill fully send it next week my legs were just killing me by that point n theres some weird twists n pushes u have to do#but so close...argh!#anyway damn its wayyy past my bedtime and i have to be up for work in 6 hours 🙃 gonna shower and zonk out gooooodnight#.diaries
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truly a blessing that im not home right now or i don't what i'd do to my roommate. fucking audacity
#long story short results from the final test from water constructiona got posted#she got the 9th highest score out of all 150 people#i barely passed having 2 points over the limit and our 3rd friend was short on 3 points so she will have to retake#mind you that last girl was the one who actually put the most work into this out of us three#she actually thoroughly prepared me while i read the presentations twice and my roommate didn't do anything at all#roommate got a cheat sheet minutes before the test from some rando and just copied the answers that were there#and now is boasting how she got one of the top scores without wasting any time#got lucky okay that's life#but then on the general uni group chat one guy asked about when's the 2nd try for the test#and i response to which my roommate on our private group started a whole ass monologue#that how in the worst HE didn't pass this. he was always getting top scores from all the subject. he got a 5.0 from hydrology#well shut the fuck up he's just some guy who's a student like anyone else#it's not set in stone that he'll always have top scores because it's just fucking hard anyway can do worse sometimes even top students#maybe he was tired maybe he didn't have time to study maybe he didn't have any cheat sheets and just tried to rely on his knowledge#anything can happen and he can get any grade just like anyone can#very few things piss me off as much as people saying stuff like her#i got so heated up over this that my head started to hurt#i hate it here#this is what makes me always so damn anxious before any test#because if i fail everyone always starts asking what happened and how ME out of all people didn't pass#so now when dhe started saying this about that guy it just hit to close to home i guess#i need to go on a walk to cool down
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completed my first community college course!
#after 3 years as a STEM student at a top 20 university...#i actually did get a higher grade (103%) in intro to cs at my school so this isn't the highest course grade i've gotten post-high school#considering the circumstances im trying to appreciate smaller victories like this#i was supposed to be getting my degree from my prestigious university this weekend but instead i am getting 99.47% in community college :(
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