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heliads · 2 years ago

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All By Design Chapter Twelve: if you fail to plan, you plan to fail

Y/N L/N is Icarus incarnate, a falling star of a singer who only feels bliss when she’s burning down. Nikolai Lantsov is what becomes of golden youth when finally forced into harsh reality. Both of them need something to save their reputations. The solution? A relationship to turn the tide of the tabloids. The only problem is that they really, really can’t stand each other, and that makes faking endless love impossible to bear.

this chapter's song: mastermind

chapter eleven / series masterlist / chapter thirteen

You honestly thought that this was going to be the end. You could feel all of your pieces falling apart by the minute. After everything, how could something as simple as a rumor could break you? Perhaps it’s because it’s not a rumor at all. Truth cuts like a blade, tearing apart your carefully stitched seams and revealing all the realities you’d rather keep hidden.

And in the middle of your storm, despite the dark skies and shrieking wind, Nikolai has the audacity to smile, to pull you out of it. He has an idea, you know that just as surely as breathing. The chain reaction is going off in his head, and although both of you have been suffering this entire time, he has the way out.

Of course he does. How could Nikolai ever stumble across a problem and not be able to reckon his way out of it? This is precisely how he works best. You knew that when you met him back in Zoya’s office for the first official time, you knew it when you were drunk and he was disarmingly sober at someone else’s party, and you knew it when you were both kids who should have seen that running was the only way to ever stay truly free.

As he speaks, it occurs to you that this is what it’s like to look upon Nikolai as an outsider. His eyes blaze with the fire of revenge, and you swear you can see his mind moving towards a thousand threads per minute. This is why everyone in this damned place is scared of him, because they know Nikolai could ruin anyone in a heartbeat if he so desired.

Nikolai lays out his plan reasonably but with great panache. When he starts to lose track of the groundwork he’s laid, you add details that keep the plot on topic. The hours spin by, but none of that matters, because finally, finally, both of you know exactly what you have to do.

At the end of this great meeting of masterminds, you and Nikolai walk away with hearts considerably lightened. You have calls to make; so does he. Zoya is clued in instantly, and she agrees to meet with Tolya and Tamar so they can handle their parts of the plan. When you tell Zoya that Aleksander was the one to let spill the secret, you don’t have to see her in person to feel her rage. After that, it’s simple to convince her to join your side; all you have to do is ask. Zoya wants him gone just as much as you do, if not far, far more.

Two days later, you’re holding a strategy session in your living room. Three faces just as resolute as yours look back at you around your table. Nikolai is down the hall, on the phone for what must be the hundredth time since the great realization. Anything for the chance to finally seize your lives back with all the thrill of an army general leading a conquest.

Zoya Nazyalensky looks ready to kill. Her jaw is locked, her expression murderous. She has been suffering in silence for far too long, trying to convince herself that she’s making a difference even as she watches friend after friend led astray. At last, she has her chance to strike, and Zoya is not willing to sacrifice it for anything.

Alina Starkov has been waiting for a chance like this for a very long time. She had been hoping that you would come around to her side, and although she didn’t want it to happen like this, few people get to pick the prettiness of their unravelings. All you get to do is find the best way to put your pieces back together, and if this is how Aleksander is finally taken down, well, she’s not about to argue about it.

Genya Safin is still a stranger to you still. You never met her before today, but already you can tell that she’s going to be a very good friend. She has the sort of sharpness that takes years of careful honing. She had wondered if you were to be trusted, but after hearty recommendations from Zoya and Alina both, she’s on board with the whole idea.

All four of you are discussing next moves now. You’ll need all of them to make this work, but you have no doubt of their loyalties. Everyone here wants Aleksander dead and buried. Tolya and Tamar would usually be included in this discussion, but they’re racing to accomplish another goal in the grand scheme, so they won’t be included in this particular meeting of the minds.

Nikolai had popped in briefly to greet the assembled party, but he’s been busy too. Genya’s face had paled upon seeing a Lantsov in the flesh– although Nikolai is nothing like his father, the knowledge that she was in a room with someone with such deep ties to a man who had hurt her so considerably was certainly a burden to carry.

It took Nikolai asserting that he had learned of his father’s abuses and subsequently forced his parents to relocate to a small town where no one can find them for Genya’s fears to be assuaged. You think they’ll get on quite nicely from here on out. At the moment, however, the prime focus is taking down Aleksander.

Zoya steeples her fingers together, thinking. “So your plan is to expose Aleksander for lying and then subsequently start our own record label to draw his customers away from him.”

You nod. “I think it’s as solid an idea as any. Alina and I were talking about starting a label some time ago, but we never thought it could be real. If we prove Aleksander to be the despicable man that he is, we’ll have enough public support in our favor that we should take off in sales and be fine.”

“That all sounds good,” Genya says, “but you’re missing one crucial fact. Aleksander wasn’t lying. You and Nikolai truly were set up as a fake relationship.”

Alina points a finger at Genya in agreement. “That’s what I was wondering too. How do you expose Aleksander for the one crime he didn’t commit?”

You lift a shoulder. “Easy. I do what he does, I lie. If we frame him for pretending we were fake, the blame will be back on him. That’s when we bring in the examples of how he tries to tear down his best stars. The public will hate him.”

Genya’s eyes narrow. “It will be tricky. I mean, you guys don’t have a whole lot of proof. Your entire argument is speculation. I’m not against it, I just need to know that it’s going to work.”

It’s Zoya who speaks up for you now. “Genya, this is Ravka. Perfect scenarios don’t exist. Right now, we have the slightest chance to get ahead, and we have to seize it before it’s too late.”

Genya smiles at last. “Well, there’s no need for drama. I’m in, obviously.”

Alina chuckles. “Genya, I don’t know that I’ve ever heard you argue for less drama in your entire life. You thrive on drama.”

Genya blushes. “Only within reason. One has to have a little fun every now and then, right? And watching Aleksander’s carefully built empire crumble between his fingers is certainly going to be fun.”

You raise your glass at that. “I couldn’t agree more.”

Sensing the lull in conversation, Nikolai dares to head back into the room. He holds up his phone triumphantly.

“Good news, everyone,” he says briskly, “I’ve been speaking to Tolya and it sounds like our plans to create our own label are actually pretty solid. We’ve got friends who can help us along the way. If we’re willing to commit to it, we can get our new company off the ground before the week is up.”

“That soon?” Zoya asks doubtfully.

Nikolai nods. “It’ll take longer to get a decent facility and all that, but I have friends in high places that can help speed the paperwork along. There’s one guy in particular, David Kostyk, who’s just a wizard with computational stuff. He’s been incredibly helpful.”

Genya makes a sort of squeaking noise. “Did you say David Kostyk?”

“I did,” Nikolai agrees uncertainly, “why, do you not like him?”

“Quite the opposite,” Alina grins, “I think she likes him a little too much. David may cease being so productive if Genya’s stopping by his office every hour on the hour.”

Genya flings her napkin at Alina in an effort to silence her, but all of you are already laughing too hard for that to matter much.

Nikolai raises a hand, bringing the attention back to him. “Actually, Alina, you may be suffering from the same problem. David’s bringing in a friend of his to make this idea work. The guy is super responsible, a great asset. He’s not from the industry, which is why I hadn’t heard of him before, but I think you have. He goes by the name of Malyen Oretsev?”

Alina’s jaw drops. “You found Mal?”

She looks at Nikolai so reverently that you’d almost feel jealous were it not for the fact that she’s so excited at the prospect of meeting her childhood love. Zoya catches you at it anyway and casts you the most exasperated stare. You can practically hear her unspoken thoughts telling you to pull it together, but you’re grinning too hard for her attitude to have any effect on you.

Maybe you’re really proud of your boyfriend, that’s all. Maybe you’re delighted with the fact that he’s able to secure a happy ending for both you and your friends. Maybe that’s something worth celebrating over and over and over again. You wouldn’t be one to complain about it.

You tell Nikolai as much once Zoya, Alina, and Genya head out. He’s smiling at you, drunk on the rush of finally having all your idealistic dominos cascade in the proper line, and he pulls you close so he can best reply to you.

“Actually,” he says thoughtfully, “I think I have you to thank as well. Half of this was your idea, and you’ve been rallying supporters like no one else. I probably would have given up if I didn’t have you here to convince me otherwise.”

You laugh doubtfully. “Nikolai Lantsov ready to give up? I have a hard time believing that.”

Nikolai shakes his head solemnly. “It’s true. You’ve always been my best motivation. You asked me why this plan is going to work, that’s my reason. I know we can get away with this because loving you is not hard. It never has been.”

Your cynicism is somewhat interrupted by the fact that you can’t seem to stop smiling. “Even at the beginning of all this when we hated each other?”

“I didn’t know what I was missing,” Nikolai swears, “trust me, I’ve learned my lesson now.”

He kisses you to prove it. Standing there in the home that finally belongs to the two of you, not just the memories of what had been but finally both of you in perfect happiness, you think that even if this plan doesn’t work, you’ll be alright. This has been enough hope to last a lifetime.

Luckily for you, you don’t ever have to find out if that sentiment was true or not. You and Nikolai launch your counterattack the next morning, and within the hour, the world is starting to switch sides. You suppose it’s going to bother you one day how easy it is for millions of people to change their minds in the blink of an eye and pretend they’ve thought that way the entire time, but for now their duplicity leaves your mind just as quickly as it enters theirs.

By nightfall, Aleksander is leaving frantic voicemails on your phone asking to talk. If he thinks he’s getting an easy peace agreement out of this, however, he’s deadly wrong. Aleksander wanted a fight and so he’s getting one. It’s not your fault if he loses.

It’s not as if he could do anything but lose. Even despite the limited timeframe, you and Nikolai have produced a foolproof rebuttal. When you look upon your work, you can do so with the pride of knowing that you could have done nothing better.

Nikolai handed the difficult task of convincing the world that the relationship had never been fake in the first place. He rustles up evidence out of nowhere, conjuring photos and text messages out of the blue. If it weren’t for the fact that you can still feel the unnerving shame of knowing how deeply you once wished to be away from him, you’d even believe it too.

You managed the business side of the scheme. You were able to weasel out of your contract with Aleksander’s record label. The same went for Zoya. Once you announced that you’d be leaving your old label and joining Alina Starkov’s new company, you were swiftly joined by a great number of Aleksander’s best stars. You think they’ll do well to join your side.

At the end of the day, when the dust settles and the lines are drawn, you find that you’ve won. The last vestiges of Aleksander’s influence will take some time to scourge from this world of yours, but you have a feeling that you’ll have support on that front.

No, you decide, your life is just beginning. It’s a good thing that you’ll have the man you love by your side. It’s time to see just where you go.

series tag list: @neelia-ficrecs

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @thatfangirl42, @amortensie, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggie2000

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wildstar25 · 1 year ago

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How does Arsay feel about Lahabrea and Elidibus? Did Pandemonium change her opinion significantly about either of them?

[ pandaemonium normal raid series / endwalkwer 6.4 spoilers ]

Arsay does not like Mr. Bread. Like at all. She gets what he’s about; but unlike Emet who falls more into “people do crazy things for love” and “thousands of years of depression will do that to you” territory, Lahabrea is the “oh yeah I would do all that evil shit actually. Wouldn’t even be that hard of a switch tbh” type. It pisses Arsay tbh! She’s someone who tries to find the best in anyone but Laha makes it sooooooo hard for her.

She’s also got like parent baggage, and was friends with her good buddy Erich before meeting Bread in pandae so him being a shitty dad just ruined every chance for himself. Also, she thinks splitting himself in two to not deal with his trauma was maybe a poor choice even if he had good intentions behind it (Arsay voice: just bottle up your feelings like the rest us, dumbass 🙄)

( also I think it’s funny that both Lethe and Arsay have beef with him for different reasons. Lethe's beef is absolutely more petty than Arsay's but still! )

Okay now for my sweet baby boy my soft child my beautiful cloud puff Themis…

She never really wanted to fight Elidibus, even when he was parading around in her dead friends body (though that was a sore spot for her)…. Okay maybe she wanted to rip his head off when he kidnapped y’shtola but that was a #PanickedGirlfriendMomentTM and Arsay did still try her best to talk to him during that bit!!! She felt sad for him for sure when she learned about his sacrifice and the state he was currently in (no memories, primal, etc.) , but he had caused so much bullshit and hurt a lot of people as an ascian that she was honestly kind of relieved to finish him off once and for all. When she met Themis, she recognized his voice right away. it was far too distinct! She would have be on the edge had his last action for her (by her account at least) been a helpful one. She could also recognize that this was a much softer, kinder incarnation of the phantom she helped seal in syrcus tower all those moons ago. Hoping this would be a fresh start, like it was with hades, she made no mention of future events. The two became friends of course! but that made it all the worse for her when she walked away from pandaemonium for the last time. it hit her like a brick in that moment, she was to be forgotten by him, he was to become the heart of zodiark, they would become enemies, and fight to the death. It pained her little kitty heart!! and because of endwalker character arc growth she actually had to go through the those emotions and not just pretend like they dont exist!!! She definitely kicked a few rocks around in Elpis and muttered some vulgarities towards stable time loops. After composing herself she of course went back to the Aitiascope. The conversation with Themis there doing a lot to relieve the emotional turmoil she was now holding on to. They could still be friends, even after trying to kill each other that one time :') Arsay is really happy about that!! She hopes in the next life they get to be friends again!

#endwalker spoilers #endwalker 6.4 spoilers #pandaemonium spoilers #Arsay Nun Lore #WOL posting #Arsay Nun

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sunder-the-gold · 2 years ago

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Additionally or alternatively, I would play on the dual-theme of Oripathy and Self-Sacrifice.

Not all operators are idealists, but Rhodes Island attracts idealists in the pursuit of its ideals. Blaze frequently pushes herself too hard. Ifrit is less of an idealist (though she becomes more of one as she emulates Saria) but similarly abuses her health by casting her fire from her Oripathy without her flame-thrower.

Amiya has to explicitly command her people to not throw their lives away for the sake of the mission, and I think it doesn’t actually stop anyone.

How horrible and horrifying might that look from the outside? Facing an extremely motivated, very self-sacrificing group of people who have nothing left to lose, who are defending the only home they have left in the world, who will burn their lives away for temporary power, who have the backing of excellent medics whose healing Arts keep them going just a little bit longer?

A little bit like fighting Mephisto and his Abominations again.

replicating the content under the 'Keep Reading' cut, for preservation purposes:

'Sage’s Obsidian Juggernaut’ - “A force of nature as unstoppable as it is unexplainable, not dissimilar to the Sage herself.” - Mon3tr. Effect: [Meltdown]: The Juggernaut’s Ranged attacks deal True Damage in a line, piercing through the targeted ally and hitting those behind them, leaving a damage over time effect for a few seconds. The Juggernaut’s Melee attacks deal high Physical damage. After being hit a number of times (10), the Juggernaut’s next attack will deal increased True damage and afflict the target with a longer damage over time effect that stacks. [Fallout]: Enemies defeated by True damage instances of the Juggernaut have increased redeployment time.

'Scholar’s Mate’* - “Unusually durable and tenacious pieces. They can be reused, over and over. Useful in disrupting enemy tactics.” -> W (Ranged Physical), Ines (Ranged Arts), and Hoederer (Melee Physical). They spawn at the same time. [Kriegspiel]**: All 'Scholar’s Mate’ must be defeated roughly at the same time, otherwise, they revive at 50% HP after a delay. [Queen’s Gambit]*: The red-horned 'Scholar’s Mate’ plants bombs on three units in range, detonating after 3 seconds. Units defeated by this attack or an attack shortly after [Queen’s Gambit] have increased redeployment time. [En Passant]*: The black-horned 'Scholar’s Mate’ presence in the battlefield slows down DP generation by 50%. Cannot be blocked, but moves slowly. [Albin Countergambit]*: The male 'Scholar’s Mate’ presence in the battlefield reduces SP Recovery rate by 30%. Attacks halt target’s SP recovery momentarily, and don’t reward SP to “Defensive” type Skills. *Various chess moves. **'Kriegspiel’ is also known as “blind chess”, in which two players play against each other 'blind’, that is, they can’t see the opponent’s pieces. For this purpose, a third person, an umpire, is necessary to oversee the game.

'The King’ - “The embodiment of tomorrow, incarnation of our hopes, and our dearest friend.” - Theresa. Effect: [Noblesse Oblige]: Raises the ATK and DEF of every enemy in the field. Effect increased for Leaders. [Civilight Eterna]: Swings sword in a circular area around herself, dealing high True damage and reducing Max HP and DEF of allies hit. Leaves a [Regal Pulsation] behind on each use. [Regal Pulsation]: Every time 'The King’ uses [Civilight Eterna], [Regal Pulsations] activate and replicate [Civilight Eterna] wherever they are. Can stack on top of each other. [Dead Position]*: 'The King’ pours powerful Sarkaz Arts into the closest Ranged tile to her position, inundating it with dangerous Arts and rendering the tile unusable for the rest of the map. Immediately retreats the unit standing on the tile, and starts spilling onto other tiles. If there’s Operators standing on these tiles, the spread is halted and they receive Arts damage continuously. If there’s no Operator in the tile, after a few seconds, [Dead Position] spills over and makes that tile unusable. Can spill to Melee tiles. All [Dead Positions] vanish and become reusable if 'The King’ is defeated. *A “dead position” is a position where neither player can mate the opponent’s king with any series of legal moves. Effectively a draw.

'King’s Pupa’ - “With time, she, too, can be a king.” -> Amiya. Effect: [Chimera]: 'King’s Pupa’ slowly charges SP over time. Receives SP each time an enemy is defeated and each time an ally is defeated. Once SP is full, activates [Pawn Ascension]. [Pawn Ascension]*: 'King’s Pupa’ turns into another 'The King’. Avoid this at all costs. *Pawn ascension or pawn promotion is when your pawn reaches the other side of the board in chess and you can promote it into another piece, such as a rook, bishop, etc. Most players, of course, promote their pawns into queens.

’[NULL]’ - “[CLASSIFIED INFORMATION. CLEARANCE IS INSUFFICIENT TO ACCESS THESE FILES. IN CASE OF ANY ERROR OR QUESTIONS, CONTACT THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR]” -> Doctor. Effect: [Resign]: ’[NULL]’ only appears after every other enemy has been defeated. No attacks, slowly trudges forward. They must be defeated to put an end to this. It was a good game.

I really would like to see the idea, the concept, of the current Doctor quite literally having a showdown with their past, current tactics vs past tactics, current ideals vs past ideals, to prove that today’s idealism isn’t mere bluster, that one needn’t rely on sacrifice to get to the finish line, that we can all get there, we simply need to find a way, because it’d be not only a showdown of morality and to prove one’s growth, it’d also entail having to defeat the shadows, plural, of the past, regrets, joys, all of it. Uproot the old, and change for the better, even if it means having to say one final farewell to beloved friends. Even if it means testing yourself against yourself, and them. It’s because you would test yourself against yourself that it means something, after all.

What are your thoughts of a possible Arknights event where you get to strategize against your own operators?

Like how W was a boss first but became an Operator, but it's you going against waves of Rhodes Island Reserve Ops (the no names) and occasionally Amiya or Texas or Kal'tsit + Mon3tr show up as the bosses.

I've thought about this, whether that be some sort of endgame "Doctor vs. Doctor" scenario or some what if event (something like PRTS replicating a perfect facsimile of pre-amnesia Doctor, or a battle-inside-the-mind existential showdown kind of deal, etc, plenty of ways one could provide context for this). Vigilo specifically made me think about this a lot, and I keep revisiting the concept in my brain palace now and then.

Regardless of how we get there, I'd love to see it. Personally, I'd lean into the vs. Pre-amnesia Doctor angle. Enemies would never really be referred to by name specifically, but gameplay and sprites would make it obvious, or at least indicative, as to who they are. Every enemy unit would have some sort of fuzzy mosaic effect covering their face.

Mooks would be Reserve Ops and the sort of RI/Babel Operator we see in cutscenes, the good ol' generics. Given how much Pre-Amnesia Doctor has been likened to a machine-like chessmaster, I think chess terminology would be fitting, although it needn't be used exclusively, especially for whenever it would be thematically appropriate not to use it. Generic footsoliders would be "Pawns", for example, and would very clearly be wearing Rhodes Island uniforms and colors (blue and black colors, mix of tactical gear and urban clothing). You'd have other more advanced units like snipers (Bishops), specialists (Knights), and hard-hitting, beefier units (Rooks).

There would be plenty of boss/midboss units, and their "tooltip" (the little pop up that appears mid-stage when a new units is introduced) would be entirely narrative. For example, you'd have:

'Ever-Marching Bulwark' - "The giant that carried the world if ordered to. No matter how grim the situation, he would always find a way to dispel the miasma." -> Ace. Effect: [Bulwark]: Ranged units will prioritize him if he's in range. Requires 2 Block to block. [Castled King]*: High HP, DEF and RES; Physical damage will raise his DEF, but decrease his RES. Arts damage will raise his RES, but decrease his DEF. *"Castling" is a chess technique used to protect the King.

'Unsung Champion' - "The hero killed and loved silently, like the shadow of a dear ghost. He could spot weakness in enemies as easily as virtue in friends." -> Scout. Effect: [Gaze of the Wraith]: Uses Ranged Physical attacks with no limit on range. Every 4 attacks, the next attack will target the unit with less DEF on the map. The amount of attacks needed to trigger this special ability decreases by 1 each time it is activated, also increasing damage dealt. Resets upon changing targets. [J'adoube]*: This enemy's route is determined by the number of allied units (the player's units) in its path. Unsung Champion will warp to the route with less units overall (melee and ranged) between it and the Defense Point (practically speaking, it checks every couple of seconds and warps to a tile equivalent to how much progress he's made). *"J'adoube" ("I knight"), or "adjust", is a special call in chess where you are letting your opponent know you're about to move a piece in the board, usually to center it on its square or if it gets otherwise displaced accidentally.

'Selfless Sage' - "Some could call her nosy, some could call her foolish, but the undeniable truth is that even if it dims her own fire, she'll fill this world with as much light as she can." -> Kal'tsit. Effect: [Selflessness & Spite]: Heals enemies at long range. Prioritizes 'Sage's Obsidian Juggernaut', then 'King's Pupa', then 'The King', then Leaders, and finally regular enemies. [Remorse & Rebirth]: Upon reaching 50% HP or if all active Leaders are defeated, spawns 'Sage's Obsidian Juggernaut'.

Making a cut here due to post length.

'Sage's Obsidian Juggernaut' - "A force of nature as unstoppable as it is unexplainable, not dissimilar to the Sage herself." - Mon3tr. Effect: [Meltdown]: The Juggernaut's Ranged attacks deal True Damage in a line, piercing through the targeted ally and hitting those behind them, leaving a damage over time effect for a few seconds. The Juggernaut's Melee attacks deal high Physical damage. After being hit a number of times (10), the Juggernaut's next attack will deal increased True damage and afflict the target with a longer damage over time effect that stacks. [Fallout]: Enemies defeated by True damage instances of the Juggernaut have increased redeployment time.

'Scholar's Mate'* - "Unusually durable and tenacious pieces. They can be reused, over and over. Useful in disrupting enemy tactics." -> W (Ranged Physical), Ines (Ranged Arts), and Hoederer (Melee Physical). They spawn at the same time. [Kriegspiel]**: All 'Scholar's Mate' must be defeated roughly at the same time, otherwise, they revive at 50% HP after a delay. [Queen's Gambit]*: The red-horned 'Scholar's Mate' plants bombs on three units in range, detonating after 3 seconds. Units defeated by this attack or an attack shortly after [Queen's Gambit] have increased redeployment time. [En Passant]*: The black-horned 'Scholar's Mate' presence in the battlefield slows down DP generation by 50%. Cannot be blocked, but moves slowly. [Albin Countergambit]*: The male 'Scholar's Mate' presence in the battlefield reduces SP Recovery rate by 30%. Attacks halt target's SP recovery momentarily, and don't reward SP to "Defensive" type Skills. *Various chess moves. **'Kriegspiel' is also known as "blind chess", in which two players play against each other 'blind', that is, they can't see the opponent's pieces. For this purpose, a third person, an umpire, is necessary to oversee the game.

'The King' - "The embodiment of tomorrow, incarnation of our hopes, and our dearest friend." - Theresa. Effect: [Noblesse Oblige]: Raises the ATK and DEF of every enemy in the field. Effect increased for Leaders. [Civilight Eterna]: Swings sword in a circular area around herself, dealing high True damage and reducing Max HP and DEF of allies hit. Leaves a [Regal Pulsation] behind on each use. [Regal Pulsation]: Every time 'The King' uses [Civilight Eterna], [Regal Pulsations] activate and replicate [Civilight Eterna] wherever they are. Can stack on top of each other. [Dead Position]*: 'The King' pours powerful Sarkaz Arts into the closest Ranged tile to her position, inundating it with dangerous Arts and rendering the tile unusable for the rest of the map. Immediately retreats the unit standing on the tile, and starts spilling onto other tiles. If there's Operators standing on these tiles, the spread is halted and they receive Arts damage continuously. If there's no Operator in the tile, after a few seconds, [Dead Position] spills over and makes that tile unusable. Can spill to Melee tiles. All [Dead Positions] vanish and become reusable if 'The King' is defeated. *A "dead position" is a position where neither player can mate the opponent’s king with any series of legal moves. Effectively a draw.

'King's Pupa' - "With time, she, too, can be a king." -> Amiya. Effect: [Chimera]: 'King's Pupa' slowly charges SP over time. Receives SP each time an enemy is defeated and each time an ally is defeated. Once SP is full, activates [Pawn Ascension]. [Pawn Ascension]*: 'King's Pupa' turns into another 'The King'. Avoid this at all costs. *Pawn ascension or pawn promotion is when your pawn reaches the other side of the board in chess and you can promote it into another piece, such as a rook, bishop, etc. Most players, of course, promote their pawns into queens.

'[NULL]' - "[CLASSIFIED INFORMATION. CLEARANCE IS INSUFFICIENT TO ACCESS THESE FILES. IN CASE OF ANY ERROR OR QUESTIONS, CONTACT THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR]" -> Doctor. Effect: [Resign]: '[NULL]' only appears after every other enemy has been defeated. No attacks, slowly trudges forward. They must be defeated to put an end to this. It was a good game.

I really would like to see the idea, the concept, of the current Doctor quite literally having a showdown with their past, current tactics vs past tactics, current ideals vs past ideals, to prove that today's idealism isn't mere bluster, that one needn't rely on sacrifice to get to the finish line, that we can all get there, we simply need to find a way, because it'd be not only a showdown of morality and to prove one's growth, it'd also entail having to defeat the shadows, plural, of the past, regrets, joys, all of it. Uproot the old, and change for the better, even if it means having to say one final farewell to beloved friends. Even if it means testing yourself against yourself, and them. It's because you would test yourself against yourself that it means something, after all.

#arknights #the doctor #amiya #kal'tsit #theresa

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monstersdownthepath · 2 years ago

Text

Milestone Monster: Vildeis, the Cardinal Martyr

CR 28

Lawful Good Large Outsider

Bestiary 4, pg. 92~93 (art from Lost Omens: Knights of Lastwall, pg. 65)

Yes, Lawful Good.

This is one of the good guys, and an Empyreal Lord! Though anyone who’s ever met Vildeis or spoken to her at length may see things slightly different. Vildeis was born THE perfect angel, so pure and beautiful and Good that the thought of evil could not occur to her, the existence of it brought her physical sickness and pain, and the sight of it was so stomach-churningly disgusting to her that she stabbed out her own eyes just to stop herself from seeing it. Unable to cope with the existence of Evil, Vildeis now travels from world to world, plane to plane in an eternal quest to destroy Evil at any cost. There is no sacrifice Vildeis wouldn’t make if it meant ending the machinations of the devils, demons, and daemons, and the highest honor any of her followers can achieve is martyring themselves to assure the defeat of the heartless and cruel.

While her intentions are noble enough, her methods are... questionable. Even among the Lawful Good Archons, Vildeis’ crusades often seem fanatically extreme; whereas most Archons wish to create a world in which Evil cannot find reason to exist, Vildeis seemingly has little concern with improving the world enough to prevent Evil’s growth and instead destroys Evil as it arises (like the Chaotic Good Azata) with all the passion and mercy of a guillotine slamming inexorably downward and with approximately as much subtlety. Evil Outsiders are destroyed with impunity while Evil mortals are given only two choices: repent or die. Her quest to destroy all Evil is used, both by herself and her followers, to justify any sacrifice, though as her title may suggest she’s more than willing to use herself as this sacrifice, heedlessly throwing herself into the heat of battle regardless of the danger if it means scoring a telling blow against the forces of fiends.

She is, unfortunately, the shining incarnation of what too much Lawful Good can do to one’s mind, but instead of leaning into the restrictive authoritarian beliefs common to Archons or other LG Angels who go off the deep end, she is the merciless executioner and ‘The Greater Good’ visionary for whom there is no sacrifice too great if it means permanently weakening Evil’s grasp on the universe. While this makes her an unnerving but incredibly direct ally to parties hoping to destroy a threat to their world, it makes her an even more powerful foe as her extremist methods put her at odds with people hoping for less violent solutions, even those who themselves are Good.

It makes her a great final boss or even post-final-boss for a Good party that defeats an evil foe but becomes terrified of what else she may do... but what can she do? Let’s find out...

Vildeis does not rest or allow herself any amount of comfort or joy, solely devoted to her eternal crusade and demanding all of her followers show the same level of ceaseless devotion. Eschewing a divine realm, she wanders across the cosmos slaughtering any Evil she finds, her Zealous Vision guiding her hand; this vision cannot be fooled or avoided, automatically pinpointing the exact position of any and all Evil beings within 1,000ft of her, allowing her to either close in with her 60ft fly speed or simply Greater Teleport over to begin opening them like a can.

Her primary means of offense lays in her weapon of choice, a powerful tool called the Cicatrix. No one knows where this +5 Holy Returning Vicious Dagger came from, but when she needed to blind herself with something that would stick in the face of her Regeneration 10 (suppressed only by Evil-aligned Artifacts and spells), it did that job well and has dutifully served as her tool of justice ever since. The dagger deals 1d6+17 damage, critically strikes on a 17~20, inflicts 1 bleed damage, and an additional 2d6 damage from its Viciousness. Against any Evil being it deals another 2d6 holy damage, making it far more formidable than it looks at first. Able to attack up to four times a round (and thus having a decent chance of critically striking once a round), Vildeis can cause surprising amounts of damage with her piddly little dagger! And that’s even before she uses her Smite Evil, which she can do upwards to 7 times a day, adding another 20 flat damage to all of her attacks against Evil targets!

So against an Evil enemy, that’s four dagger attacks that deal 5d6+37 damage each, for a MINIMUM damage per round of 168, and that’s ONLY if she rolls pathetically low damage and doesn’t critically strike. With a minimum attack bonus of +35 (+40 if the target is affected by Smite Evil), her attacks are extremely unlikely to miss any target she levels them against. With True Sight, 120ft of blindsight, and her Zealous Vision guiding her besides, hiding from the Martyr’s judgment is extremely difficult... unless, of course, you use good old cover and concealment, which her attacks can falter against even if she can easily sense her target through it. There’s something endlessly funny to me about how useful Obscuring Fog is, even at higher levels.

If you thought a minimum of 40 damage an attack was still too low, she has an extra surprise against Evil Outsiders, her greatest foes; not only does her Smite’s base damage go from +20 to +40, but she automatically ends her Smite Evil effect if she successfully strikes and damages an Evil Outsider under its effects and afflicts them with Disintegrate for another 40d6 damage on top of everything else. That’s 5d6+57+40d6 on her first attack against her hated foes. Not bad for someone who relies on a dagger, is it?

This is only for Outsiders, though. She is not so far gone she cannot see the difference between those who are evil out of selfishness or a lack of options and those who are evil out of destructive impulse and choice, she just often doesn’t care, extending an olive branch of “repent or die” only to those who reach out to her first. The Cardinal Martyr can be convinced by a third party to offer retribution instead of destruction to someone who hasn’t sought it, something she does with great hesitance but nonetheless possesses the tools for. Cicatrix is her most powerful instrument in this regard, allowing her to read the heart and mind of any creature it stabs to tell if they’re able to be turned at all. If she judges them worthy of a second chance (they will not get a third), she can instead take the damage from Cicatrix’s stab in the target’s place, inflicting a new scar upon herself and her target, inscribing them with a Mark of Justice that springs into an irresistible Quest if they break the conditions she sets instead of a curse. One way or another, they will do as they’re told, or she will find them once more (with her 3/day Discern Location) and end them.

Besides Cicatrix’s binding, she has Pain Strike at will to knock out those who need more convincing from a third party, and Mass Pain Strike 3/day to attack whole groups of foes at once. For any allies she fights alongside, she has Haste and Command at-will, can use Heal 3/day, and has the casting ability of a 20th level Paladin, granting her access to powerful tools like Break Enchantment, Death Ward, and Righteous Vigor for either herself or her allies.

Parts of her kit also elevate her allies to new heights of resilience, namely her ability to cast Paladin’s Sacrifice at will, taking whatever damage or effect her targeted ally may have otherwise suffered in their place. With her own monstrous list of resistances and immunities (and, again, her Regeneration), it’s not likely that whatever her squishy mortal ally was about to suffer will actually affect her in a way that matters... but even if it does, she would gladly do it every single round simply to keep another body in the battle.

There are thousands of tales of her arriving on a battlefield and turning the tides in the favor of the Good and innocent... but unfortunately, this is rarely ever on purpose. Bestiary 4 even states that lives she’s saved and battles she’s successfully won are accidents and happenstance. All the true acts she has done which actually improving the world were side-effects in her quest to eradicate Evil, a line I find grimly amusing, as it sums up her entire deal quite well: Someone who ends up doing good by accident because they’re focused on destroying evil.

You can read more about her here.

#Milestone Monster #CR 26 and up #blood #body horror #self harm #Pathfinder #Dungeons and Dragons

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lawrenceop · 2 years ago

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HOMILY for Our Lady of Walsingham

Eccl 11:9–12:8; Ps 89; Luke 9:43-45

Joy is not an emotion. Unlike mere enjoyment, which is transient, like youth, as the first reading suggests, joy is more resilient and abides because it is founded on a profound truth that is grasped by the intellect. Joy, therefore, is an intellectual virtue that directs our emotions. And so, even when faced by suffering, and the Cross, and the spiritual piercing of her Immaculate Heart with sorrow, Mary remains the Woman to whom the angel had given the greeting: Chaire, Hail, Rejoice! For Mary’s joy is rooted in the Annunciation and the angel’s message that through her Fiat, this world, ruined and fallen into sin and captive to the devil, has been saved, rebuilt, raised up.

So, those of us who go to Walsingham today would see the sad ruins of the abbey and Shrine that once marked the site where Our Lady had directed Richeldis to build a replica of the Holy House of Nazareth, Mary’s home where the Annunciation took place, so that Mary’s own body would become the home, a living tabernacle, for the Incarnate Lord Jesus Christ. And yet, our sorrow at the destruction and devastation wrought by the so-called Reformation, and the ongoing effects of Christian disunity, is tempered by the joy that nevertheless, alongside all our human miseries and failures and sorrows, God is with us. For at the Annunciation, God became Man in Mary’s womb. This was her great joy, and it is meant for the whole world. Walsingham stands as a reminder of this, even in its current state, and it is our privilege and mission as English Catholics to rejoice in this cosmic-changing truth of the Incarnation.

Hence the 15th-century Pynson Ballad declared: “O England, you have every reason to be glad that you are compared to the promised land of Sion. This glorious Lady’s grace and favour attest that you can be called everywhere the holy land, Our Lady’s Dowry, a name given to you from of old. This title is due to the fact that here is built the house of new Nazareth in honour of our heavenly Queen and her glorious Salutation. As Gabriel hailed her with an ‘Ave’ in old Nazareth, so here that [great event] is daily remembered with joy.”

Daily, because our troubles and sorrows are also daily, so daily, we need to remember the Incarnation with joy. For behold, God is with us. Because of this, we shall be raised up from our sins and sadnesses and even from death. Thus, daily in this Marian Shrine of the Holy Rosary, we recite the Angelus so that in our minds and imaginations, we are brought to Nazareth, or even to Walsingham, England’s Nazareth. We recall the Annunciation in order to share the Virgin Mary’s joy, and to receive a share in her graces. Thus the Pynson Ballad says: “Therefore, pilgrims all, strive to serve Our Lady with humble love. Apply yourself to doing as she would wish, remembering the great joy of her Annunciation.”

So, in the Gospel today, although Jesus’s disciples did not understand his meaning, we can be sure that Christ’s most perfect disciple, his mother, understood. From the moment Simeon spoke his prophecy, and she began to ponder these things in her Immaculate Heart, she knew that her Son would be “handed over into the power of men”, that he, the Immaculate Lamb of God, would have to be offered up as a Sacrifice for sin. Yet through her tears and despite her pain, the Mater Dolorosa is always the Woman of the Annunciation too. Thus, her faith in God’s Word, her hope in his promises, and her love for God keeps her always joyfully open to his divine will. With her Son, Mary too has handed herself over to whatever God allows, whatever is necessary, so that the Saviour’s mission will be accomplished.

For knowing that the Son of Man came to “give his life as a ransom for many” (Mk 10:45) so Mary can, ultimately, rejoice. As she sings in her Magnificat, “My spirit rejoices in God my Saviour”. So with her, and through the prayers of Our Lady of Walsingham, may we share Mary’s joy and rejoice in God who is with us and who is daily working to save us.

#sorrow #suffering #joy #Incarnation #Emmanuel #Mary

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thebleedingeffect · 1 year ago

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Alright my severe mental illness has been activated- so here's the thing, I truly believe that Cia has the potential to be one of the most interesting loz villains, on the level of Ganondorf even, and I'm willing to die on this hill.

Just a disclaimer, in this rewrite of Cia’s character, hyrule warriors is canon and happens sometime post-twilight princess.

First of all, before anything else, Cia is not the embodiment of evil and Lana is not the embodiment of good. Instead, when the original guardian of time was split into two, her greatest fears, thoughts, wishes, wants, and everything that made her mortal was embodied into Cia and Lana. In this retelling, everything is much more within the shades of gray and Cia was never completely hopeless from the start.

Instead, they represent the very human parts of a vessel that was chosen by Hylia herself and then abandoned to the test of time.

Lana moreso embodies the relentless, blind hope that has helped her chase forward despite everything. She can become willfully blind once her devotion reaches a devastating point and even in the face of all the odds, part of her demands to look past all of the death and sacrifice. Lana is extremely duty bound and feels responsible for all of her own failures and Cia’s devastation, even if it was always out of her control. Lana sees Cia as a natural extension of herself, of her soul, and she can never quite bring herself to resent or hate Cia because she's the true mirror of all of her despicable thoughts.

In another way, Lana is secretly selfish and wants desperately for Cia, the other piece of her soul, to come back to her as well as all of the anger and autonomy she feels robbed of. Despite the sheer amount of death and suffering that Cia is responsible for, Cia is also the part of her that has screamed out all of her frustrations, resentment, anger, and fears towards the goddesses. Lana wants that power, that voice, for herself because she feels so robbed of her own autonomy and is overwhelmed by the responsibility placed onto her shoulders, no matter how good-willed it is.

Cia directly contradicts the very nature of inherent love and devotion that Lana is ruled over, a freedom that Lana both covets and fears in equal amounts.

Now Cia... Cia is a very different case.

Essentially, Cia represents all of the emotions that was considered "ugly" or "treacherous", everything that haunted her during the thousands of lonely years as she watched over the cycle. The only thing that ever accompanied her during this time was the triforce inbetween incarnations and the view of countless lives that she'd never be able to be. Countless years ago, she had been chosen to oversee the triforce by Hylia herself and she should be honored! She should! She was chosen out of a handful to be Hylia's watchful servant, she was chosen by the goddess herself.

But there's a very crucial part to Cia which is all she embodies: She's human, a powerful one, yes, but she is human.

Cia felt abandoned, she hated Hylia and all of the goddesses cause she alone felt responsible for the weight of the triforce and she was doomed into a never-ending life of loneliness. There was no such thing as wanting more, wanting to escape, there was no possibility of leaving this gilded prison that once felt so special. There was nothing to dull the edge of living countless lifetimes where she could do nothing but watch and want. Cia wanted a kinder life, a more merciful life, she wanted a life where she was the one who was held above everything else because she felt so unvalued and abandoned. The one who had chosen her and damned her to be forever alone- the one she should've loved, worshipped, coveted the goddesses glow that shined so readily onto her.

Cia should love Hylia, but she doesn't, not when she willingly sacrificed her godly form and retreated back to the mortal world that Cia so desperately wanted to join. Resentment began to build early on as she realized that Hylia had willingly became part of the cycle that continuously repeat, continuously reborn, but that she was so loved in every life. What was the curse of an eternal life if the promise of love was true in every lifetime? Hylia had lowered herself to such a station that she would only ever wield a fraction of the power she once had, and yet she was so loved. Her once beloved goddess had abandoned her, became the very thing that she wanted to be, and then taunted her by living out her life right before her watchful eyes.

It was then that Cia felt truly forgotten about, an unseen, uncared part that was never considered, never loved, as the last person that had ever known of her, just... left her behind.

Which this is how her obsession with the heroes spirit begins. At the very beginning, Cia was fascinated with the heroes spirit, the very essence of a hero continuously born that seemed almost driven to the sword. An infallible certainty that may as well be written into his blood, a fate that he could not deny or escape, a fate demanded of him by the goddess itself. Before Cia ever felt love, Cia felt an odd sort of kinship with the heroes spirit, as she perceived that they were just as trapped as her within this endless cycle. The heroes spirit did what was expected of it, it fought, it survived, it was ultimately the deciding factor of the kingdom's death or survival. An unappreciated salvation had been delivered to the kingdom's doorstep and Cia saw how utterly alone the hero was, how their adventures were always lonely, dangerous things.

But more than anything else, the hero loved, it loved enough to shake the very foundations of time enough to continuously force the cycle forward. The hero is always the most mortal of the trio, the hero is the one who always bleeds for others. The hero bleeds for hyrule, for the princess, for their companions and anyone who gifts the hero even something so small as a kind smile. Above all else, the hero is ruled by love and duty and they repeat this process countless times because they are courage itself! The drive to continue further!

Cia covets this light of the heroes spirit, basks in how warm and unwavering its resolve is in the face of the odds and defeats them every time. She sees how they struggle, crack, how they get so close to breaking and yet continue on for others despite the slow destruction within themselves. Oh, Cia becomes enraptured quickly by this twisted mirror that stares back at her because she views the heroes spirit being just as trapped as her.

But, the one thing she hates above all else is how Hylia- Zelda- is always cherished, is always saved.

Where's her salvation? Where's her companionship? Where's her acknowledgment? When will she be rescued for this never-ceasing torment she's been doomed to while the very goddess who chose her is cherished. When will she not have to continuously sacrifice everything she desperately wants and needs just to watch over a cycle that cares nothing for her?

More than anything else, Cia feels powerless, unheard of, left to rot alone while time slowly grinds her down until she can feels like she's splitting at the seems.

If she cannot own even herself and her own autonomy- then what of the cycle itself? The one that has followed and tormented her? What if... she no longer had to be formless, what if she didn't have to be weak? If the world had cursed her to be forgotten, could she make that world suffer just as much as her? Would her beloved hero, her mirror, ever understand her?

That's how her resentment for Zelda begins and her obsession begins to take form towards Link. The heroes spirit embodies everything that she wants and if the world refuses to give her what she needs... taunts her with what she'll never have within her golden cage... then she'll simply tear down the tapestry that she had guarded for so long.

Hiiiiiiiii how would people feel if I posted something that was a complete rewrite of Cia’s character? ^-^

#hyrule warriors #cia makes me so soooooo sosososososo unwell ^-^#religious guilt BABBBBBYYYYYY!!!!#echo talks loz

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soul-of-rei · 2 years ago

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3 and 12?

3. Favorite incarnation of Zelda?

IF were talking purely designwise i'm gonna give it to ALBW zelda. idk what it is specifically about her but shes just vv cute imo,,,,, i only know about 10% of what the game's premise actually is but ALBW zelda <33

characterwise tho is a bit harder, but for now i'll say that TP zelda is the most interesting to me. when botw 2 comes out and we get some more interactions with botw zelda, maybe i'll change my mind then ??? but i especially like the TP incarnation bc of her character arc and how she develops over the game. first she literally allows Hyrule to be invaded and cast into the Twilight, and if Link hadn't been so conveniently captured by that point, she probably would have never been able to restore Hyrule again. she is literally supposed to be the ruler of the kingdom, and she's the one that lost practically all hope even if she's one of the only two people who can maintain a physical form in the Twilight. but then you have Midna dying when most of Hyrule is already restored, and what does she do? she sacrifices herself for a kingdom that isn't even hers, because she knows that realm still needs a ruler as much as Hyrule needs her. she literally didn't need to do that, she could have just let Midna die and she still would have what she initially wanted. yet she provides that small sliver of hope as she sees Midna and Link travel around and save Hyrule, and knowing that the Twilight Realm also needs to be aided, she sacrifices herself for a bigger cause.

i'm gonna cut myself short on this bc i have. so many thoughts on just TP in general but i just think TP zelda is the most interesting and i love her so so much <33 (also her design is SO BADASS i love me a woman who can step on me and not even look me in the face while doing so <3333)

12. What's the game that has the most sentiment for you?

BOTW, full stop. its my first Zelda game, and it was only bc i had literally no idea what to get for my switch besides ACNH. its become my main comfort game for me now, and its cheered me up so many times when ive been stressed out or just generally feeling like shit. i love how it can absolutely capture so many different atmospheres, from the serenity of just chilling on a mountaintop and overlooking everything to the absolute insanity of taking on ganon and even dark beast. just <33

#rei rambles #tysm for the ask anon !!!#i had. a lot for tp zelda and i initially had more to type but it was starting to be painful to read even for me with how long it was AJSJS #i hope i still make some sense tho <33

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skullsandwineglasses · 4 years ago

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Love and Redemption Review

Overall, I have to say that the story was really good, maybe even better than the popular xianxia romances that came before it like Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms, Love and Destiny, and Ashes of Love. The romance may be comparable to AOL, but as a whole, the plot in L&R was more interesting and cohesive.

****SPOILERS AHEAD FOR LOVE AND REDEMPTION AND OTHER XIANXIA DRAMAS****

Plot

What sets Love and Redemption apart from the other 3 xianxia romances is that Love and Redemption also feels like a quest/adventure story, while also delivering a gut-wrenching, star-crossed romance plot. What’s interesting about L&R is that the main focus is on the mortal realm and the FL and ML’s current mortal incarnation, as opposed to the heavenly realm and their immortal identities.

The actions of the mortals have consequences across the 3 realms, as opposed to other xianxia romances that only use the mortal realm as a temporary stage for the leads to fall in love. The other 3 xianxias that I mentioned all opened up in the heavenly/celestial realm first, while the mortal realm was just a brief trial that the leads have to endure before returning to the immortal realm. The moral realm in L&R therefore feels livelier and more eventful, and the mortals have more agency and are not easily influenced by celestial beings. Whenever a celestial being does come down to the mortal realm, their powers are limited and are they are bound by the rules and restrictions of the mortal realm (which means that celestial beings can’t use their powers to mess with the emotions and decisions of mortals).

The drama opens up with a tournament being held at the FL’s sect and members from all the other sects are arriving for the tournament. When the FL and ML meet, they are on equal footing (well, equal in terms of status as disciples, but not so much in terms of magical prowess). It’s like when you were in high school and you meet the visiting basketball team from a rival school, and then end up becoming friends with them.

Love and Redemption also takes the audience through a mystery. What is the true immortal identity of the FL? What’s her relationship to the Star of Mosha? Is she the saviour or the doomsday harbinger? Does the ML have an immortal identity too? Why do they have the same birthday? The drama keeps us on our toes because we learn about the truth and the history of the characters as they’re discovering it, as opposed to the other xianxia dramas where there is very little mystery and few plot twists.

Because of this mystery, the drama is tight and well-paced, since a new piece of the puzzle is always being revealed. Just when you thought that the mystery is solved, there’s a twist, and you realized that the twist was set up from the very beginning of the story, but you just missed it.

The story also doesn’t stray from the main leads. Yes, there are subplots (as all dramas do), but the subplots here are brief, and they usually relate back to the main leads. Unlike in AOL where the later half of the drama derails and focuses on the two other supporting couples, while the main leads only get about 10 minutes of screen time.

The Male Lead - Yu Si Feng

Before starting the drama, I read a lot of comments about how much whump and emotional torture the ML goes through and how much he sacrifices for the FL. I thought this was an exaggeration. I mean, Xufeng in AOL went through a lot of Jin Mi too, (and you could make the same argument for Ye Hua in TMOPB, or Bai Zi Hua in Journey of Flower), so I was a little hesitant about the premise since it’s such an old trope, and I was doubtful that it could top the sacrifice that other MLs have done in other dramas.

But reader, boy was I wrong. Yu Si feng is the definition of limitless, unconditional love. I lost count of how many times he almost died for the FL (not including the 9 times she killed him in their previous 9 lives). He’s spitting up blood and stabbed in nearly every episode. Episodes 37-47 were the hardest to watch because of the escalating chronic angst and misunderstandings between him and Xuan ji that caused irreversible damage to their relationship. Even when she tries to kill him and tells him she regrets having ever known him, he still drags himself back to rescue her. To quote Si feng himself, it’s not a question of whether or not it’s worth it, but it’s a question of whether you are willing to do it. And Si feng is as eager and willing as ever to sacrifice everything for Xuan ji.

I mean, even Xufeng in AOL and Ye Hua in TMOPB snapped at the FL’s cruelty and aloofness at one point, but Si feng seems incapable of ever being angry with Xuan ji. Even when Si feng purposely tries to avoid her, it’s out of protection for her, not out of anger for everything she’s done. Like??? Si feng is impossibly perfect, even by the impossible standards of xianxia.

Cheng Yi plays Si feng to a T. He conveys a different type of pain in every crying scene, and so Si feng basically experiences like 59 different types of crushing pain, and you feel it in your bones every time you watch it. The man’s eyes speak volumes.

While it would be easy to say that Cheng Yi carries the drama with his portrayal of Si Feng, the actions of the ML would be meaningless if there were no romantic interest that he was doing this all for.

The Female Lead - Chu Xuan Ji

Some people may feel that Xuan ji isn’t worth Si feng’s devotion. But, I would argue that the first 37 episodes shows us that she is definitely worth it.

Xuan Ji is similar to Jin Mi from AOL in that she is incapable of feeling or understanding love. Because Xuan Ji was born without her 6 senses (and also without a real heart, unbeknownst to the other characters), she’s naive and juvenile. But despite not having feelings, she’s still able to care completely about others. She cares about her sister, her father, her sect brothers, and Si Feng. She’s fiercely protective of them as they are of her. To the best of her limited abilities, she is devoted to people as much as she can be.

Because of her sensory deprivation, Xuan Ji is really curious about the world. She wants to be like everyone else, to feel like everyone else, in hopes of being able to properly reciprocate people’s love for her. She envies people who are able to cry because she thinks that’s an unhindered way of showing love. She regrets not being able to cry when her mother died. Xuan Ji is therefore a self-aware character, unlike Jin Mi, because she knows her shortcomings. She wants to be able to feel, understand, and share pain.

As such, she’s quite an active character because she has this goal of reviving her senses, which has ripple effects for the other characters in the story since they become a part of her journey, whether by choice or by force.

Why Si Feng fell for Xuan Ji

Xuan Ji and Si Feng are very opposite characters, and not just because of the obvious difference in their personalities. Si Feng is a boy who feels too much (we later see that he gets his persistent sentimentality from his father), but was taught his whole life to suppress his emotions (I mean, the mask both literally and figuratively prevents him from emoting). Si Feng wants to express his feelings, but cannot.

On the other hand, Xuan Ji is allowed to be as expressive as she wants, but she is empty on the inside. Xuan Ji represents everything Si Feng wants to be and is expected to be: free and emotionless.

In this mortal incarnation, SF has responsibilities to everyone, from his spirit beast to his sect. Xuan Ji is the only one who doesn't ask or expect anything of him and yet, for someone who can't feel, she's always thinking of him. she stands up for him, she brings him snacks to comfort him when he’s being punished, she helps steal back his mother's hairpin. These are very simple gestures, but they mean the world to him (no one else has done these things for him before, and he doesn’t understand why she would unconditionally do these things for him), and that's why he's so quick to risk everything for her. Thus ironically, Si Feng actually learned about unconditional love from Xuan Ji.

He’s never known love, warmth, or friendship in his lonely years growing up in the Lize Palace. And so, when you’re just a 16 year old awkward, hormonal, and introverted teenage boy, it’s easy to fall for a selfless girl who invades your personal space and has no sense of propriety.

Why Xuan Ji fell for Si Feng

We see that her love is gradual. She falls in love with him without even realizing she’s fallen in love. She cares for him as a friend at first. After all, like she said, Si Feng is the first friend she’s made from outside her sect. But soon, her caring for him surpasses that of what she feels for her sect brothers. Si Feng teaches her about the world, from what different food tastes like, to naming colours. Si Feng doesn’t infantilize her like her sect brothers do. Her sect brothers are either dismissive or protective, like Ming yan, but she is able to find a proper confidant in Si Feng who is willing to be patient with her and listen to her.

Their 4-year separation when they each undergo training and achieve a boost in their abilities, only made Xuan Ji’s heart grow fonder. She misses Si Feng, and is frustrated to see that things are different between them when they meet again. She doesn’t understand why he’s so cold and distant, and all she wants to do is close the distance between them.

It’s a meme that Xuan Ji is the one who wears the pants in the relationship. She’s assertive and bold, and I think part of the reason why she fell for Si Feng is because he gives her that space to be best and biggest version of herself, whether in the heavenly realm or in the mortal realm. She’s also fascinated by him. A person outside of her sect who has an endearing personality unlike anyone else she’s seen. He piques her curiosity, and so she’s drawn to him. He’s as much as her romantic and sexual awakening as she is his.

It’s apt that their ship name is the combination of their last names “Chu Yu”, which sounds similar to the words 初遇, which means “first encounter”. Not only is this drama about capturing the feelings of first love, but Si Feng and Xuan Ji have also had 10 different first encounters because of their 10 reincarnation tribulations.

The Romance

It’s actually quite fun and endearing to watch because both Xuan Ji and Si Feng are playing hard to get, which frustrates the hell out of both of them. Xuan Ji is trying to win back Si Feng and convince him to stay, while Si Feng himself is trying to win Xuan Ji’s heart, and she doesn’t even realize it. They’re both trying to woo each other, but they’re both being resistant, intentionally and unintentionally.

I have to admit, though, that the first few episodes were slow.

There aren’t major sparks during the first meeting between the leads. She just falls out of the sky into his arms, and he’s flustered by her sudden appearance and clinginess. The love story didn’t feel “epic” during the the first 4 episodes because it didn’t feel like there were any stakes. These were just 2 young disciples from different sects who had a stereotypical meet-cute. It was like watching a high school coming-of-age romcom.

Things start to get serious when Si feng is forced to wear the lover’s curse mask, meaning that he cannot love, or else every time he’s hurt by the one he loves, that mask will release a feather to his heart and he’ll feel unbearable pain. When all the feathers are released, he’ll die. This means that he has to stay away from Xuan Ji, but obviously, the drama can’t let that happen, so he’s constantly thrown into situations with her, he can’t stay away from her, and he ends up falling for her harder and harder against his will.

Xuan Ji trusts Si Feng completely and unconditionally (until episodes 37-47 that is). She is willing to go against her father and sect in order to protect him. She’s willing to sacrifice herself to save him. She’s willing to go rogue with her powers for him. When no one else trusts him, she does.

This makes Xuan Ji a very cathartic character to watch because she isn’t frustrating at all. She isn’t easily influenced and has her own views. She doesn’t share the same prejudiced views as the elder sect leaders. She is willing to disobey if it’s the right thing to do. She immediately clears up misunderstandings, like the one between her and Ming yan. We see her gradually become more mature through her increasing protectiveness over Si Feng.

I think because we see this rational and loyal side of Xuan Ji, we’re able to have a higher tolerance for her ignorance and mistakes later in the drama (but only barely).

The Reincarnations - What Does it Mean to Love a Soul?

Si Feng fell for Xuan Ji 10 times in the mortal world, not including the very first time he falls for her when they were immortals in the heavenly realm.

I explained why I think Si Feng fell for Xuan Ji is this 10th reincarnation, but why did he fall for her in the past 9 lives? In the flashbacks, we see that in each life, Xuan Ji is cruel and heartless, and she still had the same unforgiving and ruthless demeanor as when she was the god of war. Is it because Si Feng’s soul is always going to be automatically attracted to Xuan Ji’s soul?

Because we only see brief glimpses of the past 9 lives (more specifically, we only see the ending of these lives), we don’t really know how they met or how Si Feng came to love her in each life. But, I would assume that there was something about Xuan Ji in each of her reincarnations that attracted her to Si Feng and completed him. Also, we know that Xuan Ji is capable of tenderness. As the god of war, she disliked fighting. As Mosha, she cared about Bailing. So, while Xuan Ji’s nature might be violent and cruel, I think that with each life, she learns about love and sincerity. If we assume that the flashbacks of the 9 lives are in order, then it would seem like Xuan Ji becomes more and more affected by Si Feng’s death with each successive lifetime. In the first life, she is completely indifferent to his beheading. but we see that she begins to become affected in the later lives, but tries to shove those emotions aside because they’re foreign and unfamiliar to her.

We get even less context for how Si Feng might have fallen for the god of war in the heavenly realm. We only know that Si Feng was the Jade Emperor’s son, and only gained a celestial anamorphic form after 10, 000 years. His true form is the Golden-feathered bird. He’s always appearing by the god of war’s side to listen to her vent, but the god of war only sees him as a stray bird who comes by to visit occasionally. Why did he fall for her? Did he empathize with her loneliness? Maybe she was his only friend, like he was her only friend, but she didn’t even realize it.

We also see that Si feng loves Xuan ji no matter who she is or what form she takes. Her gender doesn’t matter to him, and gender was never even an issue in the drama. The drama doesn’t give an explanation for why Bailing created a female body for the god of war (besides that he wanted to disguise Mosha’s appearance), but it also doesn’t matter. It’s a non-issue, and I love it. We just need to accept it, because the “why” isn’t important.

Xuan Ji has 3 different identities: The Star of Mosha (Luo Hou Ji Do), the god of war, and Xuan Ji the mortal. The god of war and Xuan Ji have the same “soul”, and that soul came from the glass of Mosha’s imprisonment lamp, and also from Mosha’s altered corporeal body. So, she is a part of Mosha, but has also become her own entity.

To Si Feng, all 3 identities are Xuan Ji. The memories, emotions, and experiences of all the identities are what made Xuan Ji Xuan Ji, and so he loves all of them.

But what made Xuan Ji finally crack so that she’s now able to love Si Feng in this 10th reincarnation? I think it has to do with her upbringing. We see in her previous 9 lives that she had a troubled upbringing filled with scheming and violence. So she was consumed by the darkest side of humanity and Si Feng couldn’t pull her out. But in this life, she grew up with an abundance of love, which made her want to learn how to love, which allowed her to open up to Si Feng. In this way, the drama shows that Si Feng alone isn’t enough to redeem her, but it took the love of her friends and family to help her grow a heart.

The Angst

Okay. So. Si Feng has probably suffered more than any male lead in xianxia history. I think someone said that he has a martyr complex. But, I’d like to break down the type of angst that are present in dramas.

There is angst that is harmless, and there is angst that is damaging to the relationship.

Harmless angst is usually angst by external forces. Like parents who don’t allow their kids to be together. Like in AOL when Xufeng mistakenly thinks that Jin Mi might be his sister so he can’t be with her. In L&R, this kind of external angst happens when Si Feng mistakenly thinks that Xuan Ji likes her 6th sect brother Ming yan. Xuan Ji isn’t purposely hurting Si Feng, but it’s an unintentional misunderstanding.

Damaging angst is when the couple turns against each other and become enemies. This happened when Jin Mi kills Xufeng and says she never loved him (which technically is true since her heart was re-sealed so she didn’t even understand what love was when she said it). In L&R, this happens Xuan Ji sides with her sect and attacks Si Feng when he reveals his demon form. This happens again when they confront each other outside the Lize Palace and she announces that she’s done with him and breaks ties with him. This happens again when she stabs him, says she regrets having ever known and loved him, and proceeds to try to stab him again. In Love and Redemption, Xuan Ji keeps saying hurtful things to him. There’s not just one moment of betrayal, but a constant onslaught of betrayals over 10 episodes that make the relationship feel like it’s entered a point of no return.

The masochistic side of me likes love/hate relationships and damaging angst. I grew up with it. TVB dramas have a lot of it. My favourite is the angst in Raymond Lam and Charmain Sheh dramas like Drive of Life and Lethal Weapons of Love and Passion. But despite over 20 years of watching dramas, I was still not prepared for the pain and suffering in Love and Redemption.

The good news is that they make up fairly quickly, though some may argue too quickly and easily.

What I Enjoyed

Other xianxia romances usually only have 1 mortal reincarnation. This has 10 reincarnations (even if only shown briefly), and I love that. The leads have already had such a rich history together, but they don’t remember, and so the romance is about them falling in love all over again in this life, while also slowly remembering the love they had in their previous lifetimes.

The world-building was also compelling, and the supporting characters were great. They were the voice of reason and talked sense into the main leads to help move the plot forward. I also liked how the ML and FL each had their own personal relationship with the supporting characters separate from each other. For instance, Ming yan has a childhood friendship with Xuan Ji, but he also develops his own friendship with Si Feng. Wu Ziqi was once Mosha’s helper, and also knew the god of war, but also forms his own friendship with Si Feng. Zi Hu is also friends with both Xuan Ji and Si Feng. Having separate friendships with the leads means that the supporting characters are unbiased. They’re not likely to help the ML more than the FL or vice versa, but they’re able to see both sides of things. They help the leads, but they’re also critical of them, and is therefore able to help the leads make rational decisions. It reminds me of the friendship dynamics in Avatar where the characters have unique relationships with each other. Like Toph has her own relationship dynamic with Sokka and Katara, which is different from Aang’s relationship dynamic with them.

It goes without saying that Si Feng is the best part of the drama. He plays an emotionally repressed character, so it always feels like the heavens opened up when he smiles, and Xuan Ji seems to be the only one who can make him smile. SF's best moments are when he shows moments of vulnerability, like when he begs Xuan Ji not to cut ties with him, or when he's so happy to the point of disbelief and he's afraid of it being true that he begins to slightly quiver, like when he kept asking XJ if she was really the one who took off his mask. You can see him break down and not being able to contain his emotions and how much he’s desperately yearning for his love to be reciprocated.

I like that the FL has the same personality throughout the drama. I'm always annoyed when the FL's personality takes a 360-degree turn when she has a sudden "awakening" when her past life memories come flooding back and she instantly matures and becomes jaded. In Love and Redemption, Xuan Ji stays her bubbly self, even when she’s burdened with responsibilities. Hell, even when she becomes a mother, she’s still aloof and playful. In episode 52 or so when she burns her leg and refuses to leave Si Feng’s house, she acts like a helpless little girl again. Si Feng tells her that such a small injury wouldn’t even faze someone as powerful as she is, but she reminds him that he once told her that even if she didn’t feel pain, her body would know the pain, and so she should always tell him when she’s hurt. I just like this throwback to the earlier episodes to show that while Xuan Ji has grown and matured, she’s still the same person who wants to be loved and pampered.

Weaknesses of the Drama

Xuan Ji is a really multi-faceted and complex character (because of her villainous tendencies), but Crystal Yuan doesn’t completely deliver in all of her performances of the character. Crystal Yuan is great when she’s acting cute (though it reminds me a lot of Zhao Liying’s acting in Journey of Flower, even the voice actress is the same actress), but I feel like Crystal Yuan’s crying scenes are a little lacking. Also, Xuan Ji is a character who is often in moral and emotional conflict because she starts to feel emotions that she doesn’t understand since she’s never felt them before, but sometimes Crystal isn’t very convincing when trying to convey this internal conflict. For instance, in the scene when she thought Si Feng was getting married to Ah Lan, I thought that her devastation at seeing that should have been a bit more palpable. I mean, you finally found the love of your life after searching him for over a year and now he’s in front of you, about to get married to another woman. There should be more pain, anger, regret, disbelief, a battle of emotions unfolding on the face. There should have been more deflation, more staggering. I think back to when Tang Yan was watching Luo Jin get married to someone else in Princess Weiyoung, or when Jin Mi was watching Xufeng propose to Sui He in AOL, and the desperation and shock was subtle, but still so strong. You could feel the drop in your own stomach when sympathizing with the female character.

I also obviously disliked how Xuan Ji didn’t believe Si Feng. But I would have understood why she didn’t believe him (even when he logically explained his innocence) since there are so many people pressuring her judgment, but what I can’t get over is how she had it in herself to physically hurt him. And she already hurt him before too, so she knows how much it pains her to hurt him. She already regretted the act before. But because she mistakenly thinks that he killed Hao Chen, she decides that she needs to kill him? Does Hao Chen mean that much to you that you’d be willing to sacrifice Si Feng in order to avenge him? That was my breaking point for her character.

I didn’t like how Hao Chen’s arc was resolved. For 1000 years, he thought he was right and never had any regrets. He was obsessed with controlling his friend Mosha to the point of killing him and sealing his soul away. He then created another being, became possessive over that being to the point of falling in love with it (without admitting it), and then follows his creation down to the mortal world, and wrecks havoc on the mortals, especially Si Feng. And when Hao Chen learns that he can no longer control or redeem Xuan Ji, he decides that he needs to kill her in order to prevent Mosha from coming back. But then suddenly, because of a few words and visions from the Jade Emperor, he immediately has a change of heart and sees the error of his ways. It’s just so anti-climactic. Yuan Long’s ending was also underwhelming. I just wanted the good guys and bad guys to fight it out without divine intervention.

While I sympathize with Si Feng and agree that it's like watching a puppy get kicked over and over again, he honestly gets jealous way too easily and is too insecure. He also keeps everything to himself and sucks at communicating. We blame Xuan Ji for being too quick at jumping to conclusions, but Si Feng also jumps to conclusions too and causes unnecessary pain for himself.

Overall Impression

Overall, despite the frustrations, I really liked the consistency of the drama. It flows as one complete narrative and all the subplots are well intertwined with the main plot. With other reincarnation xianxia dramas, you could divide the story into distinct arcs, but it’s harder to do with this one since you have arcs that overlap and transcend other arcs. There’s the mask arc, the god of war arc, the reincarnation arc, the demon identity arc, the Mosha arc, etc. Before one arc is completed, another arc is introduced.

If you’re looking for a be-all-end-all, til the end of time and end of the world romance, this is it. While it has many similar tropes to other xianxias like AOL, I think this executes the tropes better. Although if you’ve already watched AOL or other xianxias, you might be more immune to the angst (even though this drama is angstier). But if you watch this drama first, I think it sets the bar pretty high for other xianxia dramas.

The chemistry and sexually tension is also through the roof (and the BTS will have you raising your eyebrows - are costars normally that flirty and touchy feely on set?)

So yes, this drama does live up to the hype. More meta posts to come because I’m still going through withdrawal.

(Just checked the word count on this review, and it’s over 4700 words. I’m clearly an obsessed mess).

Other meta posts:

Recurring details and motifs in Love and Redemption

Similarities to other stories in movies and literature

#love and redemption #cdrama #琉璃 #成毅 #cheng yi #crystal yuan #cdramanet #romance #xianxia #袁冰妍 #琉璃美人煞

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aspoonofsugar · 4 years ago

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Hello, I would like to know what you think about the discussion that Cinder and Watts had.

It is interesting to note that what Watts tells Cinder is that her suffering doesn't make her strong or special or worthy of anything and by extension Watts tells Cinder that as much as she pretends that her suffering made her strong in reality she is still quite fragile and vulnerable because she hasn't been able to overcome her trauma and still wants to give meaning to her life and suffering.

Hello anons!

These two asks can be answered together.

First of all, I really liked that scene! It is probably my favourite moment of the episode together with the sequence in the underground.

I think there are two ways to see Watts and Cinder’s interaction in the episode.

1) Cinder

Cinder: You’re right. Without you I am nothing. But because of you, I am everything.

As I have written here:

Cinder’s way of thinking is very similar to Mercury’s. Not only have they both endured their parents’ violence, but they have tried to give this violence meaning. It is because of Madame that Cinder has become “everything” and it is because of Marcus that Mercury has become “strong”. They must believe that it was not all for nothing and that the pain they felt made them stronger instead of weaker.

This is why Cinder thinks that deep down her “hunger” is good. It is because it drives her, but she ignores that it blinds her too.

The idea that suffering made her stronger and more deserving than others is Cinder’s main coping mechanism.

She was treated as nothing, so she needs to believe she is secretly worthy of things others are negated. As I have stated here, she deep down wants to be chosen:

I would say that Cinder wants to be chosen. She wants to be special and to be given value. This is probably why she is serving Salem. It is because Salem has chosen her for an important role.

Well, Watts’s speech is about exactly this:

Watts: You think you’re entitled to everything because you’ve suffered, but suffering isn’t enough. You can’t just be strong, you have to be smart. You can’t just be deserving, you need to be worthy.

In a couple of phrases he deconstructs Cinder’s coping mechanism and this is why she is made to feel so vulnerable.

The whole point of Cinder is that she should stop reducing herself to her trauma and pain. By doing so, she both dehumanizes herself and dismisses others.

She dehumanizes herself because she tries to overcome her inferiority complex by looking for power and she does not realize that this is turning her into a monster:

Raven: Aura can’t protect your arm, it’s Grimm. You turned yourself into a monster just for power.

She dismisses others because she is so focused on her own pain that she can’t notice others’.

In short, she must stop pretending everything revolves around her and should start working on herself and her own issues. This is thematically what Watts’s speech is about. It also ties to the teaching of the Fall Maiden about choice. Destiny is not something that is given to you, but something you work towards:

Pyrrha: When I think of destiny, I don’t think of a predetermined fate you can’t escape. But rather… some sort of final goal, something you work towards your entire life.

Cinder is looking for worth outside herself. She wants Salem to recognize her and magical powers to be strong. She misses that self-worth is something only Cinder can grant herself.

However, things are not as simple in-universe because Watts is not referring to this in his speech. What he wants is not for Cinder to overcome her issues and to realize serving Salem is wrong. What Watts wants is for her to become better at her job.

Not only that, but in Watts’s speech there is hidden also this message that @luimnigh and @harostar have discussed here. Their posts are already clear, so I won’t spend much time on it.

The main idea is that Watts is worthy, while Cinder is not and how it goes back to their different upbringings and social status. In short, Watts is an Atlesian elite, while Cinder is a no-one, who was bought as a slave. Cinder keeps feeling this difference and can’t really break free from this kind of mentality.

That said, I think this last point gains more nuance when one looks at what this speech means for Watts himself.

2) Watts

Watts’s allusion is Watson and WoG says that he is Watson if he had connected with Moriarty instead of Sherlock. Personally, I think that as for now another good way to describe his allusion is that he is Watson if he were jealous of Sherlock instead of loyal to him.

As for now, Watts’s defining trait is his jealousy of Pietro Polendina and of his creation:

Watts: She’ll open the vault and she’ll destroy herself...And our little Penny problem would be...

It is not by chance that he wants to blow her up, even if that would not really be necessary. The Little Penny Problem he is talking about is really his problem and not Salem’s, who could not care less about Penny once she has the relic.

Watts wants to destroy Penny because he wants to be better than Pietro. Still, he misses why Pietro is better than him:

Watts: She’s on a set-path now...At least she should be...As much as I hate to admit it there seems to be some part of her capable of resisting...

As we know, the part of Penny who is capable of resisting is her humanity. Penny is a masterpiece not because she is a war machine, but because she is a real girl. This is the core of Pietro’s genius and this is what Watts can’t grasp:

Watts: Our tin soldier's heart has cost him his mind. We need to keep their attention on Mantle for as long as possible.

Watts, just like Ironwood, believes that feelings make you weak and stupid. Of course, this is the anti-thematic statement which has already been proven wrong over and over. Even when it comes to the situation above, Watts is actually being baited by Ironwood and him falling for it results in his arrest. The moment Ironwood is more open about his feelings is also the moment he is acting more logically.

In short, Watts is a brilliant scientist, who bought in Atlas’s ideology that you must pursue success at all costs. You must be strong/clever because only in this way you can be successful. If you let feelings cloud your determination/mind, you are a failure.

However, it is precisely this ideology taken to its extreme that is Watts’s own downfall.

He can’t understand Pietro’s ideal and is overshadowed by him. What is more, the idea of not being the first in his field drives him to disgrace.

His backstory makes so that Inside team WTCH Watts represents Salem’s entitlement.

This makes him similar to Cinder, as well. He is different from her for upbringing and status. Still, they both have the same flaw. They believe they are entitled to things.

Cinder does so because she has suffered. She was no-one, so now she must be the most important person in the world.

Watts does so because he was born an elite and he should stay an elite forever.

Watts is there not only to tell, but to show (both Cinder and the viewers) that the path Cinder is on leads nowhere. Watts had probably everything Cinder ever wanted. He was successful and rich. He did not have to worry about food or poverty. Still, that was not enough for him. He wanted more and this led him to betray his own country and to join a nihilistic witch.

In other words, Cinder will never find what she is looking for in power or success. Watts had both, but he is empty just like her. He is hungry just like her.

This is well conveyed symbolically by Watts being one of the very few characters that never unlocked his semblance. It means he never truly unlocked his full potential. He never truly understood who he wanted to be. He tried to be who his society wanted him to be, but he was not satisfied and decided to destroy it instead.

So, when Watts talks about the need to be smart and the difference between being deserving and worthy, he is actually talking about himself, probably without even realizing it. He is projecting his feelings of failure on Cinder. He was deserving, but not worthy. Pietro was the worthy one.

Other than these two, there is also another level to this confrontation that has been underlined by @misstrashchan here.

It is about the parallel between Cinder and Ironwood when it comes to their reactions to Watts spelling them the truth about themselves:

Ironwood: I will sacrifice... whatever it takes... to stop her.

Watts: Oh, I hope you do, James. I hope you do.

The difference, as the post above explains very well, is that Cinder is able to listen to Watts, while Ironwood ignores his words altogether.

This ties to how Ironwood’s inability to recognize his mistakes and to change his mind (literally what his semblance Mettle is about) is why he is the main villain in an arc where we are having the first redemption arc of one of our original trio of villains:

A redemption, which will probably be followed by other defections among the AceOps themselves.

In order to redeem one-self, a person must accept they were wrong and change their mind. Ironwood is unable to do so and this is why he is dangerous.

In conclusion, I love this confrontation because it is very complex, has many levels and is gray. In terms of complexity it reminds me of Tyrian’s interactions with Emerald and especially Mercury:

Tyrian is seen tormenting the two kids whenever he gets the chance. That said, he ironically ends up spelling out for them truths the two must face:

Tyrian: Do what makes you happy children… please? I’m begging you…

Tyrian: Of course she is! You’re surprised? Salem is destruction incarnate! Our mistress wishes to see the end of it all! There is no ideal more beautiful.

Tyrian is a great evil mentor because he manages to spell out what Emerald and Mercury should do and to make sure through his body language that they are not able to. He tells them the truth and threathens them, so that they can’t pursue what they need.

Here, Watts tells Cinder the truth by lashing out about how she is so worthless, that a machine must do her job.

It is also interesting because both Emerald and Mercury are clearly set-up to have an evil mentor figure:

Emerald and Hazel’s foiling has already paid off, while Mercury and Tyrian’s will probably pay off in the future.

I am not sure if Cinder will have a similar foiling/relationship with Watts. Still, it is an interesting possibility. Especially because one thing I would really like to happen with the original villain trio is for the abuse and the manipulation they are subjected to backfire. I would like for them to break free (with others’ help obviously because they can’t free themselves alone) by taking all these thematic truths they are told, so they can be manipulated, and to change them in teachings they can use against their abusers.

In short, I want Cinder to say...”Yeah, I do not need to be deserving of power because I am already worthy on my own”. And I want Mercury to free himself and to tell Tyrian...”This is what makes me happy”.

I think that this has partly happened with Emerald in the sense that Salem’s tactic to weaken her loyalty to Cinder through fear backfired:

Salem: Emerald... I want you to tell me whose fault this was. Now

Emerald: Cinder! We failed because of Cinder...

Salem: That's right. I want you to understand that failure. I want you to understand why Cinder must be left to toil in her isolation until she redeems herself.

The whole point of this interaction was to make Emerald submissive. It is clear Emerald is there for Cinder and not for Salem, so Salem frightened her and forced her to symbolically “betray” Cinder.

Still, this did not work for two reasons.

a) Emerald needs to see Cinder for who she is, so that she can break free from her.

b) Fear is among the factors that motivated Emerald to leave:

Yang: You're gonna have to try and summarize it. Why should we trust you?

Ren: Because she's scared. Just like us.

Not only that, but in an inversion of what usually happens with fear in the series, it is specifically because Emerald and JOYR are all scared that they can overcome their conflict and work together (as @echo-from-the-void. noticed). Fear has separated our protagonists from the AceOps, but has brought them Emerald.

These are my main thoughts on the scene, thank you for the asks!

#rwby #rwby meta #cinder fall #arthur watts #emerald sustrai #rwby volume 8 #rwby spoilers #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

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fantasyinvader · 10 months ago

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I'll try to explain anon.

The description for the Crest of Seiros as well as documentation on the Hresvelg family is different from the other families that have a Crest relating to the Saints. It says that the Imperial family claims to be descended directly from Saint Seiros, implying that Rhea is Edelgard's ancestor. The fact that Rhea is upset that a descendant of Wilhelm would turn her axe towards her was meant to show that there was something between Wilhelm and Rhea that Rhea would find the scenario upsetting. Hopes took it a bit further with mention of how after the War of Heroes Rhea left the Empire with Wilhelm, leaving Fodlan to it's own devices (a big mistake in hindsight). If Rhea is deployed aligned with Edelgard in Hopes, Rhea remarks about how much Edelgard looks like Wilhelm (the fact that Edelgard's Emperor armor, that of a Holy Knight, is supposed to be Wilhelm's altered to fit her may play a role in this unless Wilhelm really liked the feel of the wind between his legs in battle).

You could take this a step further take into consideration Edelgard's version of history being full of half-truths. This would mean that yeah, Rhea's family did rule Fodlan after the war except it wasn't done from the shadows. They were on the throne for everyone to see. It also works on what we know about Wilhelm, how he sought unification in order to end the chaos and bloodshed Nemesis had encouraged while crushing clans that abused their power or sought greater power for themselves, and how the image of his actions have been corrupted to the point Edelgard embodies everything he fought against (again, while wearing his armor). The fact the Slithers turned her against her female ancestor, making her believe Wilhelm betrayed humanity by fighting against Nemesis, is just the icing on the cake. The Church was founded around her ancestor, but Edelgard wages war against it to replace it with ideals that are seemingly Agarthan in nature. Edelgard is a descendant of a Child of the Goddess, and now is finishing their genocide.

It can even work in conjunction with how Sitri may have been an amnesiac version of Sothis, much like the gremlin we know from the game, but because the memories didn't return lived her life as a separate incarnation. This would mean that when Sothis sacrifices herself for Byleth, it's done so out of a mother's love. And in joining Flower, the player ends up rejecting her and that love to support Edelgard which leads to, according to the Japanese text, her heart being shattered. And a lot of players do so citing Jeralt, Byleth's father, saying not to trust Rhea while ignoring him realizing he shouldn't have left the monastery in the first place.

You could argue this adds a bit of a gendered element to the Black Eagles route, Flower is based around misconceptions surrounding a father (Jeralt with the added bonus of Leonie and Alois fighting for his killers, or ignoring that Ionius tried to consolidate power and ended up an Agarthan puppet) or male ancestor (Wilhelm). Byleth gives Edelgard their ring like they typically do in S supports where they're a man and the support is woman, and Edelgard's beliefs are a very masculine bootstraps mentality. Snow, on the other hand, is about embracing a mother's love and following in her legacy with Byleth becoming both a ruler and a spiritual leader. Hell, it's actually Rhea reuniting with Sothis that ends up saving her as well, and as such we see a ring exchange in her S support. It's a route that ends up championing altruism instead.

Rhea's related to Edelgard?

Houses teased it, but Hopes made it canon (I think? I honestly almost never pay attention to dragon lore in these games because I find it rather dull) that Rhea and Wilhelm had a fling. Conservation of narrative detail being what it is, that makes Rhea Edelgard's very distant ancestor.

Not that either game ever does anything with this.

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hanjo-love · 4 years ago

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Now I became selfish and I hope the shard is showing Hanji being saved by Kiyomi or something. She go the worst treatment and if Isayama was afraid of the backslash like you said why make it even worse with those parallels with eremika? Is he preparing the Fandom for another levihan moment? I'm tired of EVERYONE surviving but her, Kiyomi's kindness really??? And Onyankopon, while I don't hate him, he survived a plane crash and he doesn't add much yet he is there for being the editor's favorite, Yelena is there after all she did and she adds even less, and the people titanized will revert to human (or at the very least Isayama's favorites will).

Oh anonie, you and me both my friend, you and me both 😔 Beware, a long rant-ish meta is ahead of you lol

I have absolutely no fucking idea why Yams decided to treat Hanjo like shit. You know, after a long time of denying her death, I was starting to accept it, because she was finally free, free of the burden and pain and finally reunited with the people she missed and longed for the most. But then Yams decided to slap us all in the faces saying there's no happy & peaceful afterlife in snk and Hanjo was probs only hallucinating because of her 4 years long depression? Well then, fuck you Yams! What was that even for? Isayama never backed off of showing us the horrors of death in snk, no matter how important the characters and how brutal their deaths really were. Still, he never showed us Hanji's actual death or dead body. He kept it misterious and his vague answers only made it worse. So it's only natural for us to expect a plot twist, right? That's the reason all of us gathered various hints in the manga, anime and his interviews. And lemme tell you, these theories are far more logical, better explained and have less plot holes than the entire final arc smh (yes I'm salty, fight me lol)

I hate to admit it, my inner self is still in denial and fighting, but Hanjo ain't coming back folks. We won't get any background story and the misterious shard will never be explained to us either. Yams had more than enough time to bring Hanjo back, if he truly wanted to. But he didn't. And now with only one chapter and so many unanswered questions left, there's no time for Hange's return. Why would he even do that anyways? Hanjo isn't important to him or to the story anymore. To us she is, always was and always will be ❤️ You know, I'm so fucking desperate to see her again, I'll even take one last panel of Levi remembering her, just like in ch136. Yams just let us see Hanjo one more fucking time 🙏🏻 I need to say my proper goodbyes to my one&only comfort character, who's influenced my life like no one else ever did ❤️

Back to Levihan (I don't think I can answer an ask without my biased and trashy shipper ass butting in lmfao): the question why Yams confirmed Levihan as canon if he didn't intend to bring Hange back and reunite her with Levi to make us him happy again? Well, isn't it obvious? This man is the devil incarnate. THIS MAN HAS NO FUCKING CHILLS lmfao JK y'all before someone declares war on me and my blog haha Well anonie, I feel like Yams really wanted to confirm his initially planned ships as canon, before the manga ends. And he chose the safest way possible. Easy as that. Also he said he is going for a bittersweet ending and what's more tragic (in this literal hell) than separating lovers, ergo Eremika and Levihan.

Now to something else, that's been bothering me for a while now and I'll use your ask anonie to share my thoughts with the world even though nobody asked lmao tbh I'm a bit disappointed with Armin. I love him, I really do. He's my precious cinnamon roll and my fave 104th kiddo. But honestly, I was expecting a bit more of the alleged "hero who will safe humanity". In fact, I'm sure Hanjo only died for Armin to become the new commander. That's it. That was the reason she had to die. Yams glossed over her to make Armin shine. But in fact, Levi's the one who's giving orders ever since Hange has left them. I might me salty, but I really hope the talk with Zeke (and probs Ymir as well, we still might have a chance to see the dialog that made Ymir change her mind) and his titan nuke weren't the only things he did as "humanity's hero" in this final arc. For some people this might me enough, for me it isn't. It wasn't worth Hange's sacrifice. Also what made me really sad was Armin himself glossing over Hanjo when he remembered Erwin Danchou, but not her. Like she didn't just pass away an hour ago to save their pathetic asses. Ugh this is making me hella mad, ngl. Hanjo didn't deserve this treatment! She gave her all for this! To save the alliance, to "pay the price" for her "sins" as the SC commander and to save humanity. I can't deal with how all of them and the fandom apparently forgot about that.

Now on to "Kiyomi's kindness" lol I wasn't really mad at Gabi for saying this as most of the fandom was. I won't go into detail why she isn't really a rationally thinking character (yo guys, you do remember she's a 12 year old kid, right?), but it's a fact that she didn't care for Hange enough to mention her. I mean, why would she? She barely even knew her. Also we don't really know what's gonna happen with Yelena, Kiyomi and her delegation. I don't know if I'm reading too much into it, but I feel like Kiyomi accepted her death with saying "that's not enough atonement for what I did anyway". I mean they don't know if the alliance will win (they probably think they won't) and they're in the middle of literally nowhere. So I feel like Gabi said that because Kiyomi sacrificed herself (and the others on that ship) willingly, for Gabi, Falco and Annie getting a little chance of surviving and helping the alliance. But I get the rage of the fandom. Especially because no one, except for Levi, remembered Hange after her noble sacrifice.

As for Yelena and Onyankopon, there obviously has to be someone from outside of Paradis to survive the rumbling, otherwise it wouldn't make a lot of sense, I guess. I like Onyankopon a hecking lot ❤️ precious boi was literally crying for Hanjo 😭 Yelena on the other hand deserves what she got. Death would be too easy and kind for her tbh. She has to live with the consequences, just like Kiyomi, so I'm actually glad they survived. So my guess is, it's not really about who's Yams' favorite and what these people are contributing to the story, but it's rather about a logical ending and a good conclusion of the story.

I agree with you about the ones who have been titanized. They'll for sure revert back to humans. It's not really Yams' style to kill of an important character like Gabi, whose character development he's been forcing on us for quite a while now lol. I'm pretty positive about an ending with the titan curse being broken and bringing the titanized people back to human beings (probs also the millions of colossal titans?). It's only natural for Yams to end the story with the titan curse being lifted. Otherwise it wouldn't make sense to end his story at this point. But let's not forget what a big ass troll Yams is lmao you never really know what he's up to, so let's prepare for the unimaginable lmfao

I'll probably never forgive Isayama for what he did to Hange, his best written character, how he completely ruined her and threw her away as disposable, just to make other characters "shine". HER DEATH WAS POINTLESS AND IT DID NOT FUCKING CHANGE ANYTHING! That's the harsh truth y'all. Yams betrayed Hanjo and us AND FOR WHAT?

Thanks for the ask anonie and sorry I turned this into my personal rant lmao hope you still enjoy reading my thoughts on this ❤️

#anonymous #asks #Hange #Hanji #Hange Zoe #Hanji Zoe #Hans Zoe #Hansi Zoe #Levihan #OTP #Ship #snk #shingeki no kyojin #Hajime Isayama #Holy moly that was a long one haha sorry about that folks 😂#Meta #Snk meta

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generallypo · 4 years ago

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[ Constellation ’Director of the False Last Act’ is looking at you. ]

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dark academia!hsy, yeeee! the white coat is fantastic, but unlike kdj and yjh, she doesn’t really switch up the color scheme. no, her bum-aesthetic purple hoodie does not count. i think she’s super hot. i yell about how much i love her under the cut.

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yo han sooyoung is actually amazing, incredible, powerful, witty, drop-dead sexy... what makes her so irresistible? let me explain

1) yeah, kdj takes the kdj company to end of the scenarios, but please. how many times does he have to kill himself to get there? not to mention his intentional (and unintentional) kill count?

sure, he does the job, but damn is he kind of inefficient about it. say what you like about hsy’s methods or personality, but the 1863rd round far surpasses the 1864th in terms of the lives preserved while still managing to take the team to the end.

without the benefit of cheat-like knowledge, skills, and resurrections, hsy almost single-handedly orchestrates the events of the 1863rd round to a satisfying finale. kmw, problematic as he is, survives and becomes an admittedly better person, yjh finds a timeline where he can rest in peace, and the rest of the cast have their eyes set on the hopeful end of all scenarios. all this, while only being HALF of a person (hsy originally split off into two after misusing her avatar ability). do her actions lead to the happiest ending? no. but it’s the one that sacrifices the least and saves the most. for the greater good, in other words.

hsy may be an intrinsically selfish person, but unlike kdj, she has the ability to grasp the entire picture and avoid tunnel-visioning into a crappier, more convoluted and self-sacrificial solution. ironically, it ends up saving more lives. perks of being a talented writer, i guess.

and the 1864th hsy emerges as a leader in her own right as well. the epilogue arc shows her assuming roughly the same role as her 1863rd self in kdj’s absence: yjh breaks off from the main group (AND BECOMES A TERRORIST AKFDJDSLKSL HAHAHA) to assume a similarly antagonistic role to the remaining members of kdj company. as a result, she’s the most powerful lawful incarnation remaining, and once more the incarnations circle around her for direction.

2) independent, confident, competent (hot and kinda shameless about it). this woman has the most delightfully unrepentant attitude towards life -- how to defeat the man with the strongest defensive ability without dealing a single blow? summon a horde of your naked dancing clones to terrify his innocent sensibilities, and then cackle at his helplessness. the fact that her sponsor is literally the chuuni-est cringefest in the entire galaxy and she gives no fucks about him is just additional comedic gold. her undisguised disgust for what should otherwise be a highly respected/feared entity is a clear indicator of her supremely dominant position over everyone else, and i admire her consistent irreverence of everyone and everything.

hsy is the only character who can consistently bully kdj, brush off his deflections, and bully him again. 1863rd round hsy gives kdj about 50 migraines in the span of 5 minutes of conversation before confirming her superior wit. jhw comes close, but unfortunately, she actually respects the rat bastard. i wish i could mention yjh, but let’s be real: he -- and just about every existing version of him -- has been whipped for the guy for at least 250+ chapters now.

hsy, on the other hand, has no regard for anything except herself... man, i respect that so much. what a queen.

and i won’t lie! i didn’t like her in the first fifty or so chapters. plagiarism? homicide? kind-of-in-general-just-being-an-obstacle-to-kdj’s-plans? yeah, i almost fell into the trap of disliking her purely because she didn’t cave immediately in the grand scheme of kdj’s plotting -- thereby denying me the power rush that came with seeing kdj bulldoze his way through the puny attempts of small fry characters. she’s neither a friend nor a despicable foe, but rather someone who acts independently and in her own self-interest, WITH the ability to thwart major players if need be. aka, the one who frustrated kdj’s plans -- and me -- the most.

going by my previous isekai/power-fantasy trope experience, i figured she’d get pegged into the sexy-but-sassy harem candidate, or get killed off if that didn’t work out. in hindsight, i’m just pretty fucking dumb, but honestly, i can accept that with gratitude --

-- because in fact. the whole ‘she-gets-in-my-way-so-she-either-goes-into-the-harem-or-dies’ trope in light novels/webnovels and the like, is, frankly, misogynistic and boring as hell. i had some admittedly low expectations for ORV, which consequently blasted my ass to the moon and left me there sobbing for 42 years as i mourned my stupidity and paid my respects to its incredible ending and character development. hsy is a particular delight, especially in her meta awareness of these tropes -- blatantly stating she isn’t obligated to kdj for saving her life and declaring the damsel-in-distress cliche as ridiculous, for example.

and it really is, because suspension bridge effect aside, you’re not gonna want to bang a total shady stranger in the middle of the apocalypse. it’s the little statements of self-awareness, self-worth, and frankness that build up hsy’s charm. as ORV progresses, these little windows of her personality bloom as her presence takes stage center -- and then BAM! you really get to know how strong she is, how hugely capable of love she is, how subtly but wonderfully she expresses it, how she leads and protects those close to her, and how damn good she is at it. hsy is amazing. we stan an iconic queen -- no, black flameS EMPRESS. *kneeling*.

3) writes an entire EPIC, just to keep one lonely, broken fifteen-year-old alive. like. at that point in ORV, i knew. i knew. hsy is the fucking GOAT. seeing her spend the rest of her life on WOS, making sure it reaches completion because it’s the only thing that will sustain kdj until the advent of the scenarios... that hits too hard. inadvertently, it also damns the rest of the world to the terror and tragedy that the star stream brings.. but that’s the call she makes in order to save kdj’s life.

obviously, there’s no precise beginning to the timelines -- ORV is so neatly crafted in its cycle of writer, protagonist, and reader -- but i’d have to argue that hsy holds the greatest power in the trinity. creating the existence known as ‘yoo joonghyuk’ and granting life-changing hope to an otherwise forgotten boy.. is pretty powerful. yjh, for the most part, is a slave to the scenarios (until he breaks free in the 1863rd and 1864th rounds, in particular), while kdj (unwittingly) admits it himself: he’s truly the most powerless god in existence. i forget exactly where he mentions it, but it’s in response to lgy’s reverent commentary that, with all his knowledge and presumed confidence, kdj seems like the protagonist of story or a god to him. kdj’s inner monologue, of course, is appropriately self-deprecating and scarily accurate.

in a lot of ways, WOS -- and ORV itself, really -- is a love letter to readers. it’s a two-way connection, writer and reader, between someone who creates with all their passions and someone who consumes and responds with equally sincere feelings. Ways Of Survival -- the story of a man who defied death and grief and great powers far beyond his being -- is a fictional guide to surviving in a ruined world. but to a battered, bullied, and ostracized boy, it’s not just escapism, or wish fulfilment anymore. WOS is the map to navigating the hell of his reality. there’s a certain power in the right words being spoken -- or in this case, written -- at the right time, even if it’s only for the temporary burst of endorphins upon reading an especially delightful chapter. even if it’s forgotten the next day, you’ve managed to connect. you’ve touched another person’s heart. you made them think about questions they’ve never considered before; maybe, you made them smile.

what can i say but the honest truth? ORV, without a shadow of doubt, has most certainly reached me. i’m a goner for this story and its excellent characters -- long, long gone. something has changed, something that wasn’t there the previous day.

the mark has been made on the reader -- small as it is, it’s irrevocable. behold, in all of its little magnificence: the power of a writer, and their story.

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #omniscient reader #orv #han sooyoung #dark acadamia aesthetic #fanart #long ass emotional screeching #wow these are the nights i wish i had someone to yell about orv with #otherwise i stay up at ass-o-clock uncontrollably writing and groaning and writing #anyways hsy is best girl and sexy as fuck

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miwii · 4 years ago

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Okay okay okay let’s go; two last minute, desperate, crapshoot theories about how Kagura may still be the twins mom-

1.) Kagura was somehow able to manifest a physical, “human” body.

(One way this may have happened is similarly to how Kikyo was resurrected. A body was created out of clay and perhaps soil from the field in which Kagura died. Kagura’s spirit, the wind, then possessed the body and essentially allowed her to puppet it around as though it were living.)

With this new body, Kagura was able to conceive and give birth to Towa and Setsuna. However, the birth put such strain on her artificially created body and spirit that she essentially had to forfeit her life in order to see that the twins would be born. (Alternatively, Towa and Setsuna could be seen as micro incarnations of Kagura/Naraku, but because Kagura is not as powerful as Naraku, she essentially had to give up herself entirely to create Setsuna and Towa.)

2.) Kagura’s spirit, again her wind, has spent some years practicing the possession of human bodies.

She then starts looking for a suitable human body and eventually, she possesses and hijacks a body to her liking (Not Rin’s, get outta here you nasties) out of a desperate desire to see and be with Sesshomaru again. (During this time, it becomes well known that village women have been reported missing or having been demonically possessed.)

With her new body she is able to give birth to the twins. The body either dies in the process of giving birth, or is exorcised shortly afterwards by monks and exorcists who have been tracking Kagura down. Kagura’s spirit is so weakened by the exorcism that she is unable to posses another physical body, forcing her to return to the wind.

So those are the theories. Some questions they leave, however;

Q. If Kagura gave birth to them, why do we see Rin laying in white robes and visibly upset that Sesshomaru is apparently taking the twins away?

A. If Kagura was able to come back to life somehow, Rin would without a doubt come to love her just as she loves Jakin and Sesshomaru. Kagura would be family. Rin would likely have been present to help Kagura with the birth. If Kagura died in the process of giving birth, Rin would be left to care for them in her place. This would explain why Rin is seen laying with the twins shortly after their birth (and Kagura’s death.) She’s already emotionally drained when Sesshomaru tells her he needs to take them away. Rin has now lost Kagura and is losing the twins, but she is likely hurting for Sesshomaru as well.

A2. Complications occur either during or after the birth. Kaede and Rin are present to assist Kagura during labor, but something goes wrong wrong and Kagura begins to die. Kaede realizes Kaguras spirit is too weak to withstand the birth without losing the twins. Rin asks if there’s anything she can do and Kaede spouts some magic voodoo stuff about Rin being able to share her energy with Kagura to give Kagura enough strength to see it through. It works and the twins are born but Kagura dies afterwards. Rin is left exhausted and slightly weakened and is seen laying down because her spirit is recovering.

Q. Why are Setsuna and Rin so closely linked if Rin isn’t the mom?

A. After Towa’s disappearance, some bullshit goes down and Setsuna’s life is endangered. Rin offers to sacrifice herself (life and or consciousness) to save Setsuna so that Sesshomaru doesn’t have to suffer the loss of Kagura and both his daughters. The dream butterfly puts Rin into an eternal sleep and begins to drain her life force to sustain Setsunas. Meanwhile, Sesshomaru, knowing he cannot bring Rin back to life should she die a third time, seals her in time in the sacred tree to prevent her from dying while he desperately scrambles for a way to save her without also losing Setsuna.

It’s messy and full of holes, I know, but I’m clinging on to any and every bit of hope that I can.

#mine #anime #inuyasha #yashahime #hanyo no yashahime #half demon princess yashahime #hanyou no yashahime: sengoku otogizoushi #sesshomaru #rin #kagura #sesskagu #anti sessrin #hnyh #setsuna #towa higurashi #towa #theories

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pantomatique · 4 years ago

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His Return

The small cottage came into view. Azriel slowed down, his feet touching the cobblestone path without a sound. The balmy summer air was a welcome compared to the near-constant freeze of the Winter Court, even if it made him soak his leathers through with sweat. He had built the cottage for Elain as a gift when they got married; built it in a field of wildflowers outside of Velaris. He remembered her smile as he flew her there and surprised her with it.

It has been three weeks since he stepped into his own house, the smell of peonies and sunshine wafted around him- his wife’s scent. Three weeks without his wife. He was sorely tempted to wake her up and makeup for all of that lost time. He let her sleep, she needed it and he needed to hone the whirl-wind of thoughts flying through him.

The last three weeks were spent interrogating spies caught trying to cross the border between the Night and Winter Courts. Spies from the Continent. They were apprehended in Winter, but Kallias allowed Rhys the courtesy of his own interrogation… as long as it was in Winter. Rhys stayed a week, using his daemati gifts to quicken the process. After the week, Rhys left him with Lucien to try to open up the last two spies who had been shields. Fae gifted with protection against daemati.

Walking to the dining room, he noticed a light yellow rug with a floral print. Bright and cheery against the dark wood floors. How very Elain, he thought. In fact, he started noticing all of the details added since he left. The wedding portrait that Feyre had painted of them, rested on the mantle. Vases of flowers and other feminime touches graced the house. It was perfect. It reminded him of Elain, who made anywhere she was- home to him.

They've only been in the cottage for six weeks- married that long too. He hated himself for being gone for half of their marriage, but it was a sacrifice he was willing to make to keep her safe.

Azriel poured himself a drink at the small copper bar cart near the kitchen, using a glass - not bothering with a shot glass. Ugly. That’s what those last weeks were. As a favor to his Highlord, Azriel begrudgingly worked with Lucien. When Elain had chosen the shadowsinger over her mate, the townhouse nearly collapsed due to the fight that took place. Lucien was still silently seething over the matter while they worked. Azriel’s shadows picking up the wrath thumping underneath the fox’s golden skin.

As much as Azriel hated to admit it, he was angry too. Angry at Vanserra. Angry at whatever force decided to tie Elain and Lucien’s souls together for eternity.

Pulling out a chair to face the three paned window, he took a seat at the end of the mahogany dining table. A gift from Cas, his reasoning being that the happy couple needed a big enough for both their families. Family. That’s what he and Elain wove themselves together to become.

Staring at the starry night sky, whiskey burned down his throat as he his mind circled back to that comment Lucien made to him when he found out Elain wouldn’t be accompanying them to Winter. Accused him of cloistering Elain, saying that the cottage Azriel had built her was nothing more than a gilded cage meant to keep her bound to him.

He wanted to bring Elain with him. Wanted to take her gliding over the iced over ponds hidden in the Winter Court’s forests, to show her the snow-blooming flowers that flourished in the cold… He would take her one day. Where he could give her all of his attention, she deserved it.

In truth, Azriel didn’t want Elain to see this part of him. He couldn't fathom sharing a bed with her mere hours after he tortured fae barely out of boyhood. Resting his elbows on his knees, he cradled his face in his hands, the scars and calluses scraping against the light stubble that began to form on his jaw. He thought about gentle Elain watching her husband break trained warriors apart, watching someone usually so caring and loving to her- turn to violence and bloodshed. She knew what he did, what was required of him to keep the Night Court safe. He would not allow her to see that part of him. Not anytime soon.

“Az, is that you?” a gentle voice behind him flowed like water. He turned around to see Elain standing at the stop of the staircase. A cream shaw was wrapped around her shoulders, over the pale pink nightgown edged with cream lace - another wedding present from Feyre. He had blushed when Elain opened up the trunk full of scraps of lace and satin and then rolled his eyes at the note that Feyre had left him:

“A gift for the groom. - your sister in-law”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Didn’t mean to, but he was elated to see her. Graceful as a doe, she glided down the stairs- towards him.

“It’s okay. I have trouble sleeping without you anyways.” A smile touched her lips as she talked. His heart ached at the thought that she had problems sleeping. The first night they shared a bed, she had told him that it was the first time she slept without nightmares. Did she not feel safe without him here? He had placed wards around the house before he left and even told her to sleepover at Rhy and Feyre’s if she was scared. Azriel would ask her about it tomorrow.

Placing his hands on her hips. He pulled her towards him, so that she was standing in between his legs. Resting his head between her breasts and wrapping his arms around her slim waist, he breathed her in.

“I missed you.” He whispered to her. So very, very much, he thought. Elain threaded her fingers in his midnight hair and began playing with it. Twirling his locks around her thin, small fingers.

“I’m so glad you're safe.” she said. “That is quite a nightcap you’ve made yourself.” She let out a chuckle at the large glass of whiskey sitting on the table. “I’ll make you some tea to wash it down.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to.” he responded, but she already untangled herself from him and was walking towards the kitchen. Azriel was content to just watch her. Placing the copper kettle on the stove, she turned and gave him the sweetest smile as she pulled out two mint mugs from the cabinet. She stirred extra honey into his tea, making a remark about how she heard it helps prevent hangovers.

She placed both mugs on the table and was about to sit down, until he pulled her onto his lap- so that she was straddling him. Elain let out a giggle as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I like what you’ve done with the place.” he whispered into ear, pressing a kiss right below it, as he eyed the velvet blue curtains enclosing the window.

“Cassian helped me hang them up. He said the blue would go with your siphons.” She ran her fingers over the one in the center of his chest, before picking up his mug of tea and bringing it to his lips. “Drink.” He did what she said.

“Delicious, from your garden?” he inquired as he took the mug from her small hands and held it to her lips. He tilted it up as she took a sip.

“Yes, I starting growing herbs that help with sore muscles and fatigue… for you.” she said shyly, looking down. Azriel put the mug back on the table and then tilted Elain’s chin up with his hand.

“Thank you.” he said as he stared into her chocolate eyes. Thank you for everything, for taking care of me, for loving me, he thought, hoping that his eyes conveyed what he felt.

‘She is thinking you’re welcome.’ a wisp of a shadow whispered in his ear. One of the reasons he loved Elain was that she didn’t push him to talk. The two of them seemed to exude their thoughts and feelings to each other without words.

Azriel released her chin, running his hands over the silky material of the nightgown, he pulled her flush to his chest- into a passionate kiss. The shaw around her shoulders, fell to the floor forgotten. Her soft, doll lips parted allowing their tongues to intertwine along with their souls. Her hands stroking his chest, his shoulders, his wings. Desire flooded his loins.

He moved his hands over the curve of her hips, down to her knees. Then he moved them back up over her creamy thighs, up to the hem of her nightgown which was pushed up from straddling his lap. Lips parting, she began to pepper kisses along his jaw and neck.

“Arms up.”

Elain obeyed. Lifting her arms up, as he pulled the nightgown over her head and let it drop to the floor. Unconcerned of where it landed. She wouldn't be needing it for the rest of the night.

The primal, fae part of him hummed with pleasure at the bare skin before him. The moon beams streaking through the glass windows behind her, making her pale skin glow like back-lit alabaster. Clad only in a pair of pink lace panties, she whispered his name. Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful, the word echoed in his head as his eyes roamed over his wife’s body- exposed only for him.

Lips meeting once again, Azriel cupped her breasts, his thumbs moving in circles over her nipples- peaking them. She moaned into his mouth as her hips began to move in a soft rhythm against his own. Reminding his body that they spent three weeks without touching each other. Those days apart had left him ravenous.

He trailed one finger down the valley of her breasts, the center of her naval- until he got to the waistband of that scrap of lace she wore. Perhaps she expected his return tonight with those seer powers of hers, he thought, that would explain the… ensemble.

A purely male smirk appeared on his face, as he realized that she was soaked through. Before he could insert a finger into that wet heat of hers, she crawled off his lap to pull off her underwear. The shadowsinger sat back and enjoyed the sight. Stepping out of them, she kneeled before him. Kneeled before death incarnate.

Her nimble fingers began pulling at the laces of his leather pants. A groan escaped his lips, as his aching length sprang into her awaiting hand. He nearly lost his mind when she kissed the tip. Unable to wait any longer, Azriel hauled her up onto his lap and buried himself deep inside her in one smooth stroke.

All five hundred of those years he had spent in heartbreak and trapped in lust, had been worth it. He would have waited an eternity to wait for her. His one true love.

Azriel thrust up into her, still clad in his fighting leathers, while she writhed atop him naked. Her head dropped to the nook of his shoulder, her sweet little moans and gasps echoing in his ear.

Inside her, he forgot his sins. Forget the dark shadows of his past that leeched on his very existence- she burned them away. Outshining every star in the sky.

Azriel would give her everything.

Bringing his hand to that bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs, she fell off that shimmering edge into a pool of starlight. And as she gasped his name as she found her release, he stood up- wrapping her thin legs around his waist.

When the tremor in her stilled, he pulled himself out of her and sat her at the edge of that giant table. Pushing her shoulders so that she laid flat on her back, knees bent, legs spread and feet perched at the end of the table. Exactly where he wanted her.

“Az?”

“Soon, love.” pressing a chaste kiss to her mouth to quiet her.

Before he could take what he needed, he began unstrapping the armor from his shoulders and forearms and unbuckled the leather tunic. And as he threw the tunic to the ground, he leaned over her, guiding himself into her. His pants slung low over his chiseled hips.

Enjoying the feeling of her small bare breasts crushed against his chestt, he set a punishing pace that would take them both over the edge. Elain’s small hands traced over his back, feeling the muscles flex and tighten as he thrust into her. Azriel grabbed her wrists, twinning their fingers together as he pinned her hands by her head.

No language could describe how good it felt to share this intimacy with her. But gods, he tried. Whispering in her ear about how much she pleased him, how amazing she felt wrapped around him. A blush spread from her dimpled cheeks to those perfect tits of hers.

And as her fingers tightened around his own, release found her again that night. At the sight of his wife moaning his name below him, he found his. His siphons flaring as he spilled himself into her.

Elain wrapped her legs around him, holding him close as pleasure shot up his spine. Foreheads pressed together, noses touching, he pressed an open mouth kiss to her swollen lips.

“I love you.” she said. “So very much.”

Azriel hoped that he was enough to keep her safe, strong enough to make sure they had nights like this again and again.

#acotar #elriel #a court of thorns and roses #azriel #elain #smut #a court of mist and fury #sarajmaas #fanfic

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