#AND THEN ONE MONTH UNTIL METALOCALYPSE…

[taibobo]

Whoa! easy boy!

down boy!

down!

I MISSED HIM.

[valiantkix]

This guy bites my ankles and causes problems

[lampmeeting]

Just a couple weeks until the end of September, so you know what that means!

Kloktober is almost upon us! 🎃🦇

What is Kloktober?: An incredibly zazzy event taking place in October where we celebrate all things Metalocalypse. There’s a prompt for every day of the month to interpret as you see fit! Draw, write, cosplay, make memes, whatever you like - all forms of participation are welcome!

How do I participate?: Make your totally brutal creation inspired by the day’s prompt and post it using the tag #kloktober2024 - it’s just that simple! Post it here, post it to Twitter, post it to AO3, post it to Instagram, wherever you usually post your creative stuff!

But am I allowed to–YUP, ANYTHING GOES! There are no wrong answers during Kloktober! ✨ However you decide to interpret a prompt, it's valid! If you only want to do a few days, or even just manage to do one, that’s also completely valid. Please don't burn yourself out or stress, this is for fun!

What if I don't vibe with one of the prompts? No worries! If there's a prompt that doesn't suit you, please feel free to reach back in time and choose a prompt from a previous year's Kloktober (2023, 2022, 2021, or 2020). And as always, if you have any questions about anything, hit me up!

(plain text version of the prompts are below for anyone who needs them!)

your favorite character

your favorite relationship

horror movie crossover

dressed to kill

use a self-insert or OC

road trip or drug trip

furryklok or demonklok

a favorite headcanon

use someone's parents

bravery or cowardice

inspired by your culture

tattoos or piercings

create-a-skwigelf

use a Halloween treat

one year after AOTD

costume party or sleepover party

use the ghost of a dead character

palling around with another band

what if they never got famous?

Abigail Appreciation Day!

use two character who never met

too much booze or too much sugar

Dethklok as a different music genre

fix them or make them worse

inspired by a metal song

post-apocalypse or cyberpunk

bring back a one-off character

conspiracy theory or propaganda

birthday or funeral

HALLOWEEN!!!

YOUR choice!

[toomanythoughts2]

Here's some miscellaneous Metalocalypse headcanons. I'm gonna put them here just to get them down.

Skwisgaar has flat feet, which will result in leg problems later in his life.

Toki has nerve damage to his back and he can't feel it in places. He has to go to massage therapy for it every week so it doesn't get too bad.

Murderface has long hair, his fro is just so dense. It's as long as Skiwsgaar's hair.

Stella Murderface is William Murderface's paternal grandmother, so his mother is Stella's Daughter-In-Law and his father is their biological son. Murderface's looks skipped his father, so his father and his mother were average looking individuals. The idea that Murderface's looks were the catalysis for his father's mental break were probably intensified because of the paternal skip.

Murderface's mom was very excited for William's birth. She spent a long time getting ready for his arrival. William was a wanted, planned child, whose mother was fully encapsulated in being a good mom. She took so many photos of her pregnancy and had a baby book prepared. Mama Murderface was fully ready to be a mom. When William was born, she fell in love with him. William is probably less than a year when they died, but more than 4 months. Up until their death, his mom obsessed over him, loved him, cared for him. There are so many baby photos of him up until their death, and his baby book ends at the same age of when they died.

Murderface has multiple photos of his mother tucked safely in his room. He looks at them when he's feeling particularly sad and lost. He'll look back over the home movies she took, listen to her voice, listen to how much she loved him and how she was waiting for him. He blocks out his father in the video as much as he can. He hates him more than he hates himself.

Toki has a hobby grave yard. However, he is not afraid of any hobby and will at least become competent in them.

Pickles still doesn't really understand the internet. He's got the concept but it alludes him for the most part.

Toki's family is actually the black sheep of the majority of the family and Toki is the black sheep within the black sheep.

Toki was on his way to becoming the next Reverend after Aslaug, but the family at large was very wary of this possible development. They avoided Toki at all cost due to his presence with death and his possible future position in the family.

Everyone has neck pain from head banging and windmilling, so they have physical therapy on their necks to keep them strong and to stop any further deterioration.

Nathan has back pain. Like really bad back pain. Him and his father, since they are larger men, have consistent back issues that make it hard to stand for long hours.

Rose is Nathan's biggest supporter. She co-signed on the apartment, she helped get him his first van, she helped pick out stage clothes, she painted his nails. He would read his lyrics out to her (and his dad) at the dinner table and she would help him with lyrics and support his direction. Rose knew that Nathan's life was not leading him to college, but to something else, and she fully believed that he could do anything he set his mind to.

Skwisgaar is double jointed and can pop and crack his knuckles. Murderface and Pickles DESPISE it.

While there are many "Deaddy Bears", there is only one true, original Deaddy Bear. It's the one that got burnt up in "Dethkids" but it came back afterwards. Why? BECAUSE IT'S POSSESSED! ITS A POSSESSED DEADDY BEAR KINDA LIKE THE VELVETEEN RABBIT! TOKI MADE IT BE ALIVE WITH HIS LOVE AND THE TRUAMA! TOKI NEVER QUESTIONS IT AND THE BAND IS VERY WORRIED ABOUT IT!

Murderface has gotten himself stuck in the Iron Maiden before.

There's a lot more wholesome/domestic moments within the band dynamic than their fans or even the label knows about. It's regular shit, like a routine they have worked out with themselves about how to live with each other without going crazy.

They do the "Do you want my broccoli?" "I can take your rice." "Here, take the pepper, I dont want it." kind of switch with their food when they go out. It's just a choirs of plate scraps from one plate to another.

[l4rkc0b41n]

PLESSSSE give us some of ur headcannons for spooky month characters because I think it would be cool🤭🤭

OOOOO ok🔥🔥 (tw: u might have to read an entire essay for this one)

ok so idek where to start so ill just go with my favorite characters name and then a list

Roy:

• matured at a young age bc of childhood trauma, and he realized how fucked up the world actually was before he hit preteens

• he says "just wait for my growth spurt!" when someone says he's short

•HATES dogs

•brainrot WARRIOR!🔥

• looked like baby murder face from METALOCALYPSE as a toddler

Ross:

•grew up partly on the internet

• love hate relationship with going outside

• hairy mf

• WOULD have piercings ngl

• probably leaped across the chairs in class when the teacher was gone in elementary school

• germaphobe

Robert:

• sleeps with stuffed animals

• didn't wear deo until someone pointed out how he STANK (ouuu it stank..😣)

• probably watched gacha glmvs (it's a common event)

• brainrot WARRIOR🔥 #2

• prob likes hello kitty but denies it bc "that's gay"

• runs like a girl

• liked phonk (GET OUT)

Susie:

• cosplayer at one point in life

• also matured pretty fast bc of what she's been through

• she can read people like a book

• had or would have an emo phase

• HATES phonk

• likes kpop alot

• hates art class because art teachers are allergic to art styles

• took honer choir once in the 6th grade and never did again

• probably owns a guitar but doesn't play it alot

• had a phase where she drank water and only chewed on gum for a week or so

i got lazy and I can't do anymore but I might update it

[chewing-drywall]

METALOCALYPSE HEADCANNONS

(Part 1/??)

Buckle in yall this will be a long ass post

TOKI WARTOOTH

Earlyklok! Toki

-the most sincerely homophobic in the beginning. You don't just get raised the way he's been and not have some WILD ass beliefs about the world, he eventually unlearns it but being surrounded by dude bros who constantly call things gay as an insult and his tendency to take things litterally DONT help. And it's not like active hate or anything it's just getting raised that gay people are sinners and are gonna burn in hell is definitely a topic you gotta make an effort to unlearn.

-seeing two girls kissing on the streets of florida for the first time??? SHOCKED, litterally did a full head swivel to check if anyone else had seen it and imploded when no one seemed to be as surprised at he was

-Doesnt really even understand why the rest of the band likes casual sex so much, it feels good but at first he thought it was strange there were all of these girl fawning over a him, a technical stranger, and he just goes along with it.

- got his ears pierced about 4 months into earlyklok sitting on the ledge of their shared apartments crusty bathtub

they were all packed into the tiny bathroom, talking over eachother, the room thick with weed smoke, skwisgaar perched over him in the bathtub holding his head straight

pickles did it with a safety pin and an icecube, joint hanging off his lips as he squinted in concentration

Toki didn't flinch, didn't even stop talking to Nathan about the newest Cannibal corpse album that Nathan wanted to buy a cd of

He liked the feeling of skwisgaars hands engulfing his face, it was a touch that wasn't cruel. Plus knowing that the best guitarist he's ever heard in his whole life hands were soft was a fact that he's gonna ingrain into his head.

Murderface and Nathan actually looked mildly concerned at tokis complete lack of reaction

- the kid will offhandedly say really cryptic shit, through broken English and weird reactions to what they think is normal stuff. the band gets the gist that they'd have to be a hell of a lot drunker to handle his truth (toki: oh don't worry I'm used to the dark! :), everyone else:👀)

-got a lip piercing but didn't take care of it properly, so of course it got infected and had to be taken out

-this is when he starts age regressing but doesn't realize he's doing it,

-he'd watch a kids cartoon in complete silence until the season ends and it's the only way to keep him completely still and quiet

-is attracted to bright and colorful things even if it gets him made fun off by the guys, secretly LOVES Lisa frank art

Regular adult toki

-AUTISM AUTISM AUTISM

HATES tables that aren't clean, when it's noticeably sticky or there's crumbs that stick to his arms when he leans on the table

-same with the feeling of spilt beer, has gotten used to it over the years but the feeling of dried sticky beer still has his skin crawling

-has drunken bong water as a dare (all of them have as some point but still)

-has also smoked weed through his nose (again on a dare)!

-if you look really close into his eyes, his eyes go so light blue it looks pale yellow

-very very kind and pretty eyes, the downwards slope of them make him look sad with a neutral face

-LONG AND THICK EYELASHES

-works out mostly regularly to keep his shape, he gets too energetic for the others to handle so it's a good way to blow off some steam

-Likes the idea of wearing feminine stuff, skirts seem sooooo comfortable but doesn't wear them cause yknow the teasing would be absolutely relentless

-medium thickness chewed on lips, does it mindlessly

-knows hes capable of incredible violence, the band is also very aware and whenever he gets legitimately pissed off during a argument (like a genuine, seriously bad argument) they'll usually just back off and wait to bring it up later when toki doesn't look like he's three seconds away from curbstomping them

-FAT crush on Nathan but for some reason gets really shy around it??

-Nathan will compliment him and toki will deadass write with a fluffy pink huge glittery pink pen in an equally pink journal kicking his legs and giggling

*Nathan told me when I got that chord I kept fucking up correct that he could *see me improving* EEEEE he's soooo big He could throw me Like a football

-fond of murderface, knows people deal with their own shit in diffrent ways so he doesn't take his insults to heart (usually)

-relationship with skiwsgaar is. Weird.

I'll probably get into it on another post but it's SO complicated like. Were both emotionally constipated around eachother, our relationship used to be so kind and gentle skiwsgaar was tokis mentor and wanted to see him grow but has such anxeity around toki surpassing him he purposely beats him down; and toki doesn't have the work ethic or drive to truly get to thay level and it impedes the progress of the band. But engages with this weird rivalry thats also a form of love and respect like. Your the only one I could ever be worried about being better than me and I've watched you grow so much and I don't know how to express that properly YADDA YADDA YADDA

-loves pickles very much, he was the most welcoming in the beginning and always made a space for him at the table, later on a shoulder to cry on.

[pyro-yoshi]

Pyro's emeto commissions

I've never done commissions before but I'd like to give it a shot. I got laid off last Thursday so I don't have a job anymore. Work in my home local is slow, so unless I travel out of state I'll likely be off for a couple months. I'm going to have a lot of time on my hands, so I figured I'd try doing emeto commissions.

Want to see your favorite character puking their guts out? Hit me up! I'm primarily focusing on fan art, but I'll also draw your OCs!

Since I've never done this before, here's my promise to you: Until I show you the finished product, you won't be charged a penny. Then we can negotiate prices depending on the complexity of the piece.

I won't charge that much since my art skills pale in comparison to a lot of other artists.

Here's an example of my emeto art (old pic, just a character, no background):

Priority fandoms:

Saw (current hyper fixation)

Silent Hill

Resident Evil

Metalocalypse

The Walking Dead

Stranger Things

The Simpsons

Will also draw:

Characters from most other fandoms, your OCs (as long as you provide a picture or detailed description) anthro/furry/literal monster/non-human characters.

Male characters are preferred, but I'm willing to do female characters too.

I will NOT draw:

Underage/minor characters. I will NOT draw characters who are under 18. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Real people. Fictional characters/OCs only!

Scat

Certain fandoms (see below)

Characters that wear super complex outfits or armor (too hard to draw)

Fandoms I won't draw for:

Genshin Impact, or any other anime (I should probably apologize for this, but I simply don't care for anime. At all. Sorry guys)

Harry Potter

Family Guy (or any other show created by Seth McFarlane)

South Park

If you're interested or just want to chat, send me a message on my non-emeto account, @creepereyes. (That's the account I access via Tumblr app, I access this one via laptop and don't check it very often)

@creepereyes is me. You're more than welcome to message me on here too, but it'll take longer to get a response.

[black-klok-youth-pastor]

Charles and MMA Theory

Okay, I came up with this theory a while ago (and has been sitting in my drafts collecting dust for months until this point) but haven’t really shared it in that many places. Bare in mind this is also a sort of weird fan theory of a fan theory, that being the popular Dadlacia theory (the one where Salacia is Charles’s biological father in case you don’t know) so feel free to take this with a massive grain of salt, as we gather around the Pepe Silvia board to ask this one question that just clicked one day. That being:

What if Charles Offdensen and the Metal Masked Assassin were half brothers?

Now admittedly both characters are wrapped in mystery, so of course there’s gonna be a lot of fan speculation on both of them, albeit the main smoking gun is that we at least learn MMA’s backstory in Doomstar Requiem (in song form):

“Born and left alone Never knew his mother Who was killed during birth but left him a brother”

This verse seems to suggest that MMA and 216’s father wasn’t in the picture, either by neglect or being absent altogether, essentially leaving 216 to raise MMA by himself (which is particularly messed up since they seem to be a bit close in age). Sure in complete fairness in a sung-through musical like this we don’t have time for every single detail, but the specific word choice intrigues me.

And if you know the basic Dadlacia theory y’know where I’m going with this, mainly the infamous scene in the cold open of Fatherklok where Charles is suspiciously wistful about how it feels to lose the strength of a father’s touch and that his father had strong hands. Now am I saying all fatherless characters in the series are Salacia’s children? Not really. Like for example, I’m kind of skeptical of the fan theory that Salacia is Skwisgaar’s father, if not the real dad of everyone in Dethklok. The Skwisgaar one I can kind of buy even if I have some theories that I think are better but the latter I’m not as fond of since it kind of ruins the point of the found family aspect (honestly the only variant of this theory I can see is the ones involving Salacia only being their father in a past life, like the sort of Kronos figure in the pantheon but we’d be here all day if we dwelled into that).

What I’m getting at is that part of it kind of goes into the “but why?” aspect since by all accounts. After all, Salacia is immortal as far as we can tell so on paper he wouldn’t exactly feel the need to sire children. Short version as I go to my now outdated headcanons post, my sort of theory to that is that he has a plan not unlike Ego from Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 that involves fathering as many children as possible that through trial and error would grant him offspring powerful enough to serve his machinations. Human beings to him are pawns after all, why would his own offspring be different?

Although I freely admit a good chunk of my theorizing has been on the thematic level. The lore of Metalocalypse has taken a lot of influence from various mythology and religions, and what better way to tie into the themes of brotherhood throughout the series than good old sibling rivalry which can be found everywhere from Set and Osiris to Kalervo and Untamo to (of course) Cain and Abel, particularly how one brother more or less (except not really) kills the other.

Although funnily enough, Charles is simultaneously Abel and Seth in this metaphor considering how they didn't even meet each other until after 216's death.

[sparklecinnamonbunny]

My Personal MTL OC Week 2023 Retrospective

*waves* Hey y’all, I thought I’d link to all the works I created this past week and provide a little commentary of my experience with them to cap things off. This is secretly more for me to look back on than for anyone to enjoy, but I might as well share it and see if I can’t start a trend. @pan-flute-skeleton talked shop with me a bit and inspired this idea, but I’d also love to hear other’s thoughts/experiences with this fandom event!

Day 1: OC X OC (X OC) — The Naked Dismissal I came out of the gate swinging by tackling a crossover piece by pairing Sunday with two characters that weren’t mine! I knew I wanted to write Sunday salivating after Caj, but the whole scenario didn’t come together until I was clowning around in Discord and curiouslyhigh and chordsykat egged me on to write Caj/Sunday/Teja since timelines don’t matter. This was a blast to write and I’m looking forward to going back and writing the Pornographer’s Cut. Thanks again to both of them for loaning me their fandom bicycles! Also, if you haven’t seen it already, Chordsy hit me with a gorgeous piece of retaliation art of the unlikely trio! Day 2: Best Friends or Rivals — A Matter of Perspective Ch. 1  “First Impressions”: I felt like I had this absurd momentum pretty much all week, and A Matter of Perspective showcases it. Spellbound begins in medias res, so I had a ton of room to explore things before Sunday meets Nathan. I intended to play up Sunday and Dick’s friendship with this one, while starting Ava off as competition, but then I thought of a cohesive theme for the whole piece and put Knubbler on the backburner.

This one also netted me a new OC, Envy, who we haven’t seen in the Spellbound ‘verse yet, but who I do get to show in the 80s kickin’ it with Azure Blue and SnB Pickles. Day 3: Style Swap — A Matter of Perspective Ch. 2  “Big Easy Barbie and the Price of Leather”: It’s a tie between this one and the canonically impossible threesome for my favorite work of the week. Ava Sunbeam was originally written to fill a stereotypical music show judge role I needed in Spellbound (and to parody a couple pop artists), but she’s grown a lot of nuance and her own arc. 

In addition to saccharine themes of understanding and kindness, it shines a light on some of Sunday and Ava’s red flags. Sunday’s POV forgives a lot of sins on her part. I had fun making them very obvious. There’s also some secret Ava lore that adds to the overall vibe of both parts.

Day 4: Canon X OC — Six Ways to Sunday I started this piece in April, intending to use it for MTL Rare Pair Month’s “What Could’ve Been” and “Canon X OC” prompts and got stuck a little over halfway through. I brought it back out for this thinking ‘Oh, I’ve just got to write the sex scene and edit, this should be easy,’ but I still struggled. I don’t like it and I don’t have a reason other than ‘this was stupidly hard to write’. 

Day 5: OC Fusion Canon X OC again — Spellbound Ch. 9, “Ultimatumklok” After the struggle I had with Six Ways to Sunday, I was kind to myself and finished up a chapter of Spellbound for Friday instead of learning a fusion dance. I’ve been super excited about this chapter (and the next couple to follow) for a while. This chapter manages to set things up and provide some warm n fuzzy payoff at the same time, all while sneaking in some sweet sweet lore dumps.  Day 6: Dethkids — What Goes Around Comes Around I intended this to be a punchline to the end of the SkwisDay smut. It got away from me so quick. Between Sunday and Skwisgaar’s feud and CEO and CFO having real talk, my plan of ‘goof-fueled crackfic’ went sideways. We did get back to madness at the end, though. I’ve added a couple one-shot ideas to further this AU to my WIP pile. Final Thoughts — I’m so thankful that I had the time and energy to participate! I put out over 18,000 words of Metalocalypse fanfic this week. I haven’t written this much in such a short time since my last NaNoWriMo! I’m especially proud of the fact that I put out five coherent stories (Sunday & Ava’s two go together, but can stand alone). I’ve always struggled with finishing WIPs once I start them. This shows me that I can finish what I start if I put my mind to it. :)

[airrushmindtravelingcircus]

Wikipedia’s shit new redesign, and how to avoid seeing it without being forced to make an account

It seems like the only time I ever post on this blog anymore is in an attempt to disseminate information to as wide an audience I can. Such is life when all other (public facing) social media sites cause the wrong kind of psychic damage to browse.

Anyway, if you’ve used wikipedia in the past couple days you already know how terrible it looks. Web3.0 “sleek and modern” translating to “bland and monochrome.” When I encountered it, I immediately put a long and damning criticism in the feedback link which is probably the digital equivalent of when adult swim hooked up their fax machine to a shredder in mockery of the Metalocalypse fandom. After getting my anger out, I perused one of the talk/discussion pages that wikipedia has (since that’s one of the biggest features of this site that noone pays attention to (since noone with a life has an account)) regarding the change in UI, and the people there were up in arms as well! Until other members assured them that they could change the skin in their account settings, and that any article can have the character string ?useskin=vector appended to the end of it in order to browse the old version of the layout without needing an account.

So, problem solved in the most tedious and nerve-grinding way possible, right? Well lucky for you we’re not done yet. It had been brought to my attention several months ago, when youtube started to implement their equally terrible “we want the instagram audience” feature of YoutubeShorts, that there is an addon for both firefox and chrome called Redirector. Using this addon, your browser can automatically add the character string to the end of any url without needing to type it in manually every time. The formatting is very simple if you’re even scantly tech literate, but for convenience’s sake I’ll just put the picture of my filter up anyway:

You may notice how my settings use the term monobook over vector, that’s because monobook is the name for the old Web 2.0 skin the site had! Thus, I now have an objectively better experience with the site than I did before as a result of discovering this url extension exists.

[bonesdoesart]

Updated void post

Hiya, friends! If any of you are here because of my old "speaking directly into the void" post, let it be known now that many of those fandoms I am no longer in OR I've moved on to a different one currently.

I have decided to update it in the form of a completely new post, so PLEASE disregard the old one!!

I can never really tell when a fandom I get into is going to be a special interest or a hyperfixation until at least a month or so passes. I have some fandoms I've been in for YEARS and I'll never stop loving them, while others only last maybe a few weeks. I'm only including special interest fandoms on this post, but rest assured that they're not the only fandoms I'll post about, they're just my main interests.

My main fandoms are...

Venture Brothers

Metalocalypse

Doctor Who

Slenderverse

Mlp

And...that's about it. LMAO

Okay but seriously I only really have maybe four fandoms that I'm neck deep in, but that's not gonna be the only fandom content I post on here!!

Also, I'm gonna put my DNI criteria on this post too so I can weed out the Weirdos....

DNI if you're...

A minor (I actively promote my adult Twitter blog on here and also post suggestive stuff. I don't feel comfortable having kids follow me, especially since my main interests are catered to adults. I'm not gonna go out of my way to block minors because I don't post straight up nsfw but just know!!! It makes me feel. Weird)

A transphobe (I'm trans. Get the fuck outta here 👉)

Homophobic (I'M GAY GET OUT IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME)

A n*zi (self explanatory.)

Any kind of trans radicalist (there's a whole spectrum for being trans, and I may be part of the majority of folks who experience dysphoria and want surgery, that doesn't mean other trans people have to be that way.)

A proshipper (EUGH. DISGUSTING. GO AWAY)

Ai "artists" and NFT weirdos (I hate all of you)

Ableist in any way (I'm neurodivergent, please piss off ❤)

Anyway, that about wraps up this annoyingly long post. Thanks for following if you have! And anyone who has it, feel free to stick around, I post art sometimes LOL

[keanuweeps]

I want to just give some personal updates, since I am nebulously back

I am graduating college this summer with a Bachelor in English and a minor in Writing and Publishing

I have had my writing taken quite seriously in the local literary community, particularly my poetry. I have not yet decided whether to share it here, but I probably will if I get any particularly noteworthy publications (I have a few minor ones and am still submitting a lot to different literary journals and literary magazines.)

I was in executive leadership of a literary magazine through my college for 2 years, attended AWP, and all around have had some amazing experiences.

I have been on T since October 2022

My name is Tom now

I had wild sex with a litany of different people, and I still can't tell if I'm bisexual or not.

I no longer identify as binary trans, as I had from nebulously 2021 until maybe a month ago, and instead identify as nonbinary. I think for me inside of myself I identify as a butch, in the way that I did when I was a lesbian, but it's my preference in the cishet world to, most of the time, just let people assume I'm male because it is easier for me.

My bearded dragon is older and doing well

I got very involved in local trans activism. Got on the news, became a leader in the campus community, won an award. I also helped spearhead, organize, and run two trans joy conferences. Very cool stuff. I'm currently working to get more involved off campus as I'm graduating.

I got hatecrimed by the conservative group on my campus, the police would not even take my report, and over the past year I have been forced to just kind of let it go and focus on what is positive in my life.

My IRL friendships are flourishing. I am living out the found family trope. I have never been happier.

I have been doing my best to additionally support Free Palestine IRL. But I do also want to say it here, Free Palestine.

I still do not know whether I will ever continue my Metalocalypse fanfiction, if I am being frank. The people who supported me really gave me the confidence in the beginning to take my writing more seriously and it played a role in my returning to college. I am very grateful for the kindness and love I was shown. Thanks always 💙

[500-moths-in-a-trenchcoat]

would you believe that this is my first one of these? (also thanks for the tag)

last song: dethsupport- dethklok

favorite color: BLACK

sweet/spicy/savory: depends on how i'm feeling, i have a massive sweet tooth but i love cheese any time of the day

relationship status: single, ace, and waiting until college to find a dude (my school is pretty small and i know everyone there)

last tv show/movie: percy jackson (wasn't really invested, my sibling was watching it and i was in the room)

currently watching: mystery science theater 3000 (when possible)

current obsessions: mst3k, heavy metal, the fandom of the month (varies, this month seems to be metalocalypse), writing

no pressure to the tags. @ipsl0re @savashroom @countably-infinite-rats @yetanothergayemo

tag game

tagged by @corvids-corner ty

last song: two cups of tea by star fucking hipsters

favorite color: pink

sweet, savory, or spicy: savory!

relationship status: chronically single <3 when will i get swept away

last tv show/movie: may december (2023) it was sooo good

currently watching: the curse (2023) starring emma stone nathan fielder and benny safdie

current obsessions: scott pilgrim. the hunger games and dave the diver too but mostly scott pilgrim

last thing i looked up: when are the 2024 oscars

tagging @paintedvanilla @grave-the-demon @fightclubgayporn @zapsoda @audiodramatist @phantomkittyz @monstressmasc @daisybrien @ramgodd @morgue-ruins @plaguery

[little-murmaider]

Fics I Loved in 2021

I’ve said it many times before but Metalocalypse Fandom is flush with so many incredible artists and writers, and at the end of the year I love to celebrate that by sharing some of the fics I read this year that I loved! This is an extremely incomplete list, and I tried (failed) to keep it to one fic per author, but thank you to everyone who has shared something they’ve created for this weird little show. I’m so happy and grateful to be a part of such a wonderful community.

The Lost Time Series, @squeeto: Toki is back after months of being held captive by Magnus Hammersmith - but the torture he endured is too much, and he goes into a coma. When he wakes up, he's different than the Toki that the band is used to - and it's a hard pill for an already-fragile Skwisgaar to swallow. DILF, @mc-offdensen: The sheer audacity of writing Oscar/Calvert porn in our Lord’s year of 2021 is admirable and inspiring. [18+]

aubade, @gluku-pikron: After stabbing Nathan, Magnus goes to Charles' place to lick his wounds. Getting in Tune, @wumbo-calling: A (collection of?) drabble(s) where nonbinary!Skwisgaar gets to explore their experience with gender.  Oh So Intricate, @lampmeeting: Seth wants to have a threesome with one of Amber's friends, and somewhere a finger on a monkey's paw curls in on itself. [18+] Johnathan’s No Good Very Bad Day, @atmilliways: Dr. Twinkletits misses his meds. A Minute of Their Time, @sourbat: They came and went. Men: some young, most older. They all came for the same thing. Pressure, @offdensmith: During a stint in rehab, Magnus gets to know his new roommate. Surprisingly, they have a lot in common. [18+] Aligned, @lampmeeting: The revengencers scurry from him and huddle together, watching. Waiting. In that moment, Magnus hates them. Truly hates them. Disgusting motherfuckers. Mindless freaks. Ruled by their hunger and their fear and their rage. Not like him. He’s in control.  Something Blue, @fishklok: Amber connects with her new brother-in-law during her wedding. Word to the Wise, @vicekings: Long before Dethklok was world-renowned, and long before JD Walker was branded with the black stag gear, one CFO sent his personal security to investigate a hunch about his up-and-coming band. Love bites, @gointothevvater: Pickles downed his drink with a great sigh, saying, "Been way too long." "Since you've had whiskey?" St. Cecilia asked, laughing when he shot her a deadpan look. The sound was like fire, warm and bright and blazing through him. He'd have blisters when they parted, he was sure of it. They'd hurt like hell. Rejoin, @failedintsave: After the rescue, Dethklok must adjust to shifting band dynamics, changes awakened by the Doomstar, and a world that's relying on them to save more than the economy. In Your Eyes, @squeeto: Skwisgaar falls apart hard when Toki goes missing. It Could Be Simple, @failedintsave: From day one, there's been friction between Dethklok's lead and rhythm guitarists. Eventually it leads to fire. [18+] Thunderstruck, @squeeto: Skwisgaar is falling hard for Toki, and it's everything he's ever dreamed of - but his dreams also remind him, that letting people get close to him might not be such a good idea. [18+] A Place For Us, @all-hail-the-water-god: Moving to Norway from Sweden seemed like it may be boring until Skwisgaar meets Toki, a mysterious teenager from odd parents who seems to be holding onto countless secrets that Skwisgaar isn't quite sure he wants the answers to. [18+] Relax Your Mind, @offdensmith and @metalitaph: Back in the mid-nineties, before the signing, before any knife-based incidents, Dethklok never seemed to notice that their manager and one of their guitarists had gotten close, which was on purpose. Magnus and Charles were both very private men after all. A collaborative effort showcasing what it's like trying to make it big in the music industry, with the added complications of unexpected emotions after a night drinking. [18+] The War Is Over and We Are Beginning, @insomniac-pens: It's the first fall Pickles has realized he's lived through in years. The Bridge, @fishklok: While the band is touring in his home state, Charles manages to find a quiet moment with Magnus.  After the Threesome They Both Take You Home, @metalitaph: Melmord has his friends drive him home. A Band in Hope, @cthene: With Dethklok scattered to the ends of the Earth, Skwisgaar and Toki must navigate a post-apocalyptic landscape of horrors, strange beauty, and madness, with only fragmentary memories and a few mysterious words to guide them: Stay together. Stick to the plan. Keep moving north. [18+] The Sweetest Thing, @atmilliways: Before taking their relationship to the bedroom in any way, they had talked a lot about what that would mean. Skwisgaar, of course, is internationally known as a master of sex with more notches in his bedpost than actual bedpost, and he’d admitted to her right up front that he couldn’t, off the top of his head, think of anything he hadn’t done—“Excepts, eugh,” he’d said, then mumbled something. [18+] Encore, @fishklok: Magnus expected to die. Instead, he's given another chance. [18+]

[dentalcaring]

Can You Keep Them In The Dark For Life? | Prologue

content warnings: allusions to childhood abuse

fandom: metalocalypse

“Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.”

— William Makepeace Thackeray

The house is empty, as it has been for the last 20 or so years.

She wanders from room to room, day by day, barely grazing the minimum for survival. Go to bed. Eat. Drink water. Do the same, over and over, until the sun goes down and it’s time for the next merciless day to continue.

The monotony kills her. Every day the same, a little closer to the grave, and another day older. Her beauty falls away like peeling paint.

The men who warm her bed don’t really count for company. Not really. There’s no connection, no real spark. No purpose any longer than to cling onto what was, rather than what is.

Her son doesn’t call anymore. The one man in her life she can trust to never really leave, to never really hurt her. She can trust him. He is all she has left sometimes, even when his most recent pictures are ones she’s had to carefully clip from magazines herself. Her hands hurt more than they used to, and she detests the way her swollen knuckles have trouble fitting in the metal loops of the scissor handles.

She can’t parse why he left, and why he doesn’t ever check up on her. She knows she was never a perfect mother— years of her own parents abuses, the traumas she had faced as a child far too young, they added up quickly, and she knew that some of it had been unfairly projected. She knew he struggled with lacking a father, but what was she supposed to say? He had never said his name, only left her loved more than she had ever been loved, with a child she had so wanted, and left her with his memory; His one eye, his braided beard, the long coat and his peculiar wide-brimmed hat. He had told her to watch over their son, told him that he would do something great. He would be something great.

She’d half convinced herself it was all her imagination, but it was difficult to ignore when her son was now the world’s most famous guitarist. And what’s more— He existed. He was alive. Before the man, she had been convinced she was barren. Maybe she was. Nothing had grown before or after Skwisgaar’s birth.

In any case, most days she figures it best not to dwell. Better to ignore. Better to push it all down and put on a smile. She’d learned that from her mother. There was a lot of choking down misery before she’d left home. 

It’s late afternoon now. The sun long since disappeared beyond the treeline. She’d always hated that about winter here. No real sun for months.

Her painted fingers find the cellphone that he gifted her a number of years ago. It’d been for some sort of holiday, or maybe a birthday? She couldn’t remember. Sleek, champagne pink. Skwisgaar had awkwardly explained how that made it feminine and classy. A subtle dig. She didn’t get it.

Her fingers trace a familiar string of digits, and the she presses the Call button. The drone of the dial tone meets her ear, buzzing on and on before there’s a click, and—

“Skwisgaar—“

“—You haves reach the perskonals phones of Skwisgaar Skwigelf. Leaves a message after da tone.”

Only in moments of vulnerability does she do this. Sometimes she just calls to hear his voice, how ever tinny it is over the receiver, or how short the message is. How infrequently he actually answers.

Before she knows it, the voicemail beeps, and her voice is being recorded. She hesitates, pausing awkwardly, teetering between her messy English, and her more fluent Swedish. She knows that despite his thick accent, Skwisgaar is probably better at English by now. Still.

“Skwisgaar—“ a beat of static filled silence. She feels stupid, lonely, angry at herself for this moment of weakness. It crawls up her throat and scratches. It’s all she can do to choke it down and get her words out. “—It’s… your Mama. I miss you,” she hates how desperate that sounds. Pathetic, just like Papa always said she was. She thinks about saying something, taps her nails against the avocado colored countertops of the kitchen. Bites her lip, and knows that her lipstick comes way on her teeth. She hesitates, and thinks of the man with one eye. She thinks of his wolfdogs, of the black birds that seemed to always flock around him.

“Call me back? It’s been awhile, and...I’m old,” —Something that she hates conceding. Another pause, and she knows she’s eating up precious voicemail time. Wouldn’t want to fill that up. If it were at all possible.

“Skwisgaar. I want to tell you a story. I think it’s time. I want to tell you about your father.”

[the-loveliest-lotus]

Chapter 8 of The Wicker Man is up on AO3 and Lucy has finally obtained her rainbow hair. Also introduced Lucy’s late Mom, Angie Desmond (pictured below.) 

Note: Chapter contains adult themes, meaning it starts with a lemon, viewer discretion is advised.

Chapter is roughly 10,000 words long.

It’s absurdly far ahead, but I think I have the perfect family drama between Lucy’s family and Pickles’ family and I just... It’s gonna be beautiful in the worst way when I get around to that chapter probably months and months from now. 

More about Lucy’s Mama Bear below the cut:

Name: Angie Desmond

Sexuality/Gender Identity: Bisexual, cis woman

Birthday: April 19th (Aries/Taurus cusp)

Age at Time of Death: 55

Where is She From: Originally from Austin, TX

Height: 5’5”

Nicknames: Ange (Roger); Mama (Lucy and Pickles)

Love Interests: Roger Desmond, who was at her time of death serving a 20 year sentence for selling weed. They had an open relationship and would have conjugal visits, but they were emotionally exclusive to one another. Were swingers when he wasn’t in prison.

Where She Fits into the Metalocalypse Universe: Lucy’s mother, mother to one of the (eventual) members of Dethklok. She kept Lucy sane while she was in an abusive relationship, and tried to help her as best she could. Acted as an unofficial “adoptive” mother to Pickles, in that she always took care of him when his family was treating him like shit. Angie always had a strong intuition, which is where Lucy inherited hers from.

Appearance: Impossibly young looking for her age, is 55 years old but appears to be more of an older sister to Lucy than a mother, looking like she is maybe 35 in a video that she left for Lucy at her time of death.

Lucy takes after Angie a lot in her physical appearance. Angie has an oval face, blue eyes, and originally had wavy brunette hair. A slender, curvy woman with a psychobilly style and had pink/purple hair at her time of death. Had several face piercings including a nose piercing and dolphin bites.

Personality: Very extroverted, very protective to those she cares about. Would get into fights and win with men twice her size at bars. Loved music like Aerosmith and Reverend Beat-Man, and was the type to drink good booze out of old glass jam jars.

Was very much a “Mama Bear” and was always very protective of Pickles as well as Lucy. Did not get along with Pickles’ family in the slightest, but refused to let Pickles and Lucy suffer because of family drama.

Absolutely devoted to her husband, and would claim until her dying day that he was the only man she ever loved. The two of them did swing, and then when he was in prison they opened their relationship, but they remained emotionally exclusive to one another.

Her love for hallucinogens caused her to give her daughter the initials LSD, and the name seemed like kismet since her favorite actress was Lucille Ball.

Skills and Hobbies: Angie enjoyed DIYing clothing, which was where Lucy picked up the hobby from. She was a punk in her teens and 20s, and her style shifted to more psychobilly as she got older, but she always kept the punk flair and attitude. She was very self-sufficient and would dye her own hair, and eventually she taught Lucy and Pickles how to dye Lucy’s hair.

Angie would bake for fun, and she would always cook for Lucy, Pickles, and Roger when they were around.

She was a biker, and her prized possession was her custom 1952 Harley-Davidson.

Loved to travel when she could, and she loved going to concerts with Roger or with Lucy.

How She Died: Angie was on her Harley on the highway when a drunk driver going down the wrong side of the highway hit her head-on, despite her attempts to avoid him. She died on impact and did not suffer, but her body was very mangled. The driver was also killed in the crash.

Ends up being cremated and Lucy keeps the ashes, which she ends up scattering with Pickles and the rest of the Dethklok gang (Knubbler and Offdensen included) in the California Red Wood forest. Lucy, Pickles, and eventually Roger each get some of her ashes.