#AND TAKE PICS/VIDEOS?????? WTF

[edamamefiend]

some art from today!!!!

[littlx-songbxrd]

In my fame era

[kindestofkings]

espresso

lando norris x reader

dets: an international pop star and a f1 driver could never be secretly dating right? right?

authors note: this is kinda chaotic but its been still in my drafts since that damn espresso song came out, how is it so good?

faceclaim: sabrina carpenter

yourusername

liked by ynfan1 and others

yourusername me laughing at all y'all trying to figure out who my hot songs are about LOOLLLLLL you'll know when I want you to know MWAH xx

melbourne tonight :)))

view all other comments

ynfan1 you are so unhinged I LOVE

charli_xcx just tell them its me !

yourusername you're right sorry wifey xx

ynfan2 wait are they still around??

ynfanupdates wait whats happening in melbourne tonight ???

ynfan3 she's so secretive, I didn't even know she was dating anyone

landonorris

liked by martingarrix and others

landonorris tralia mate

view all other comments

danielricciardo looking fresh mate

landonorris thanks babe xx f1fan1 landos longest relationship right here f1fan2 bahahah for real man is chronically single

oscarpiastri 👍👍

f1fan1 best of luck this weekend !

yourusername just posted to their close friends!

[caption: baby just had a great weekend at the office <3]

replies:

maxfewtrell disgustingly sweet

↳ jealousy is a disease, better get checked out xx

alexalbon ugh you two make me sick

↳ oh yeah and yourself and lily aren't worse 😐

yourusername

liked by martingarrix and others

yourusername missing tour hours, should we do it again??

view all other comments

ynfan1 PLEASE COME BACK

oliviarodrigo you never rest queen

yourusername lol duty calls ynfan1 huh? hasn't she been off for ages ? ynfan3 singers can have other responsibilities you do know that right

ynfan2 I just want to know who you're dating..

ynfanupdates

liked by ynfan1 and others

ynfanupdates yourusername out in monaco tonight !

view all other comments

ynfan1 huh wonder what has her in monaco? she's there alot recently

ynfan2 looooveee the orange

landofan1

liked by landoupdates and others

landofan1 firstly tell how is a man so hot?? also look at how much he's vibing to yourusername's feather remix??

view all other comments

landofan1 I could take him (not in a fight)

ynfan1 he is just like me fr

f1fan1 no WAY whats he doing playing yn? 👀

ynfan1 I mean she is one of the biggest pop singers in the world rn f1fan1 orrrrrrrr ynfan2 haha you wish

yourusername oooh whos he ?

landofan1 bahaahahha girl, you are everything I want my popstars to be

yourusername

liked by chapellroan and others

yourusername pookie is away (again) so heres some pics of me looking hot for pookie, and pookie only <3

view all other comments

ynfan1 what boyfriend would ever leave you??

yourusername I know right?? poor me !

chapellroan need a sub ?

yourusername I don't know what you're abbreviating but yes. yes please.

reneerapp god DAMN

(liked by yourusername)

f1fan1 hmmmmmmhmmm away? and theres a grand prix this weekend

lando.jpg

liked by ynfan1 and others

lando.jpg returning the favour x Race weekend was gud

view all other comments

landofan1 people died.

oscarpiastri such a poser

lando.jpg my lady loves it 🤷 landofan1 IS HE IN A RELATIONSHIP landofan2 since when wtf

f1fan1 I don't even care how delusional I am, he'd be so hot for yourusername

ynfan1 Ikr but they don't even follow each other :((

yourusername just posted to their story!

[caption: pookie has returned <3]

replies:

landonorris I don't know how I feel about pookie...

↳ but POOKIE I love it (and you)

↳ landonorris ugh okay fine (love you too)

charli_xcx this soft launch is mean, and I know who it is

↳ hehehhe lol its SO fun tho

f1fan1 is that papaya ?

yourusername just followed landonorris!

landonorris just followed yourusername!

yourusername

liked by landonorris

yourusername need a pick me up ?

Espresso 4/11 @ 8pm ET,

Music Video 4/12 @ 10:00am ET

view all other comments

ynfan1 woooo queen is back

ynfan2 LOVE the vibe of this

landofan1 is that the JOLLY ???

landofan2 do we think lando is in the video?? cause thats defo him!

landonorris uber rating ?

yourusername 4 stars out of 5 ! missing star is because you kept making me laugh during filming landonorris always knew being so funny was a double edged sword. georgerussell sorry just confirming, do you think YOU are the funny one? ynfan1 what a random friendship, but so cute

f1fan1 finally followed each other, my delusions don't feel so crazy

landofan1 I would loveee if they became friends

landonorris just added to their close friends!

[caption: we just hard launched via music video and people are thinking FRIEnDshIP ?]

replies:

yourusername babyyyy they're so stupid

↳ told you it's crazy you're dating me..

↳ yourusername UGH no enough of that

danielricardio the landonorizz lore is to deep I'm afraid..

lilyme cons of dating a hottie

yourusername

liked by landonorris and others

yourusername guys this is my POOKIE! I just hardlaunched my muse, y'all should be blessed !

(last pic is not mine but like look at how he looks at me teehee...)

tagged: landonorris

view all other comments

landonorris love of my life fuck

ynfan1 damn y'all are in love love aren't you

fan1 this is crazy to me lando and THE pop it girl??

yourusername me and THE lando norris who is a professional hottie and my pookie xx landofan1 ugh im obsessed with you two

ynfan1 you're telling me you've been dating another celebrity for at least 3 years and we've seen ZERO pap pics?

f1fan1 for real tho we would've seen her at a grand prix, theres thousands of cameras landofan1 yeah seems suss yourusername ugh guys !!! why are you making me spell everything out for you landonorris time to cook darling

mclaren finally the parents are insta official

yourusername get hyped to see me at a gp wigless xxx

ynfan1 you wear wigs??

yourusername have you worn wigs?? landonorris will you wear wigs??? ynfan1 omfg I get it now

landonorris

liked by yourusername and others

landonorris meet my three year pr relationship x

tagged: yourusername

view all other comments

yourusername yes sorry guys the warming climate is all our fault !! just so fucking hot we cant help it eek

oscarpiastri you two are so unbearable already please go back to being a secret landonorris after 3 years of norizz jokes, I thinkkkk no !

landofan1 THREE yEaRs ???

mclaren wearing papaya off season? oh shes a keeper

ynfan1 heheh admin gets it

danielricciardo rip norizz it was fun while it lasted..

landonorris fun for WHO??

[finished]

hehe im working lateeee, cause I procrastinated doing assignments all day xx

[lilirari]

🫧 basically just going on different kinds of dates with lando <3

💌 lando norris x fem! reader (social media au)

💭 author's note : i loved making this fr !! i was going to include some writing parts but.. i kinda got lazy 🧍‍♀️ if you guys want the writing part though, i'll work on it and post it. the part two to this + oscar's version is also in the works !

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 🧩 𖦹 ˚. ᵎᵎ lego date ! ⭑

instagram 🎥

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 19,444,127 others

yourinstagram lego date with the loml ! he gave me that bouquet of lego flowers in the morning 🥹🤍 last pic is him trying to find that one missing lego piece.

view all 2,234,567 comments

landonorris pretty flowers for my pretty flower ♡

liked by yourinstagram

landonorris ok but did you take that piece 🤨

-> yourinstagram no oscar ate it

-> oscarpiastri i did what

-> landonorris oscar regurgitate my lego piece

-> oscarpiastri I DIDN'T EAT YOUR LEGO PIECE I WASN'T EVEN PRESENT DURING YOUR SILLY LITTLE DATE

charles_leclerc what a fun idea ! 🤍

carlossainz55 😍

lilymhe @/alex_albon where's my lego bouquet 😒

-> alex_albon you can make your own

-> lilymhe wtf

danielricciardo very cute

pierregasly je devrais en faire un pour kika 🥰

-> yourinstagram yes you should 🫡 she'd love it

oscarpiastri i'm surprised he has the attention span to build a whole lego bouquet

-> alex_albon right ???

-> landonorris STFU

view more comments

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 🎡 𖦹 ˚. ᵎᵎ amusement park date ! ⭑

instagram 🎥

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, lnfour and 16,999,345 others

yourinstagram third-wheeled my boyfriend and his boy space friend today. i would've included the video i took of lan screaming while we were on the rollercoaster but i'll have mercy on your ears for the time being 😞

view all 1,999,889 comments

landonorris wdym boy space friend he's literally my boyfriend

-> yourinstagram ... wow ok didn't expect you to come out of the closet this soon 😦📸

-> landonorris sorry love, it's always been max 🫣🤞

-> maxfewtrell .. um yeah no y/n take him away i don't want him

landonorris baby, istg if you show anyone that video...

-> yourinstagram i promise i won't show it to anyone dw pookie 😘

lnfour 🫶🫶🫶

oscarpiastri send me that video of lando

-> yourinstagram i already did

-> oscarpiastri nice

-> landonorris ???

-> landonorris whatever happened to 'i promise i won't show it to anyone' ?

-> yourinstagram ... oops 😅

-> landonorris 😃

riabish aww wish i could've joined you today ☹️

carmenmmundt the cutest couple ! ❤️

alex_albon i desperately need that video

-> yourinstagram sent 🫡

-> landonorris Y/N !!!!

-> yourinstagram oops i gtg🏃‍♀️

quadrant our parents ! (and max)

view more comments

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 🍣 𖦹 ˚. ᵎᵎ sushi date ! ⭑

instagram 🎥

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, yukitsunoda0511 and 17,888,645 others

yourinstagram hey guys i have some news... lando and i have recently separated ways because of the contrast in our interests. i wish him nothing but the worst and i hope all his christmas gifts will be fish related xx

view all 2,000,000 comments

landonorris STOP

landonorris all this because i won't eat sushi for you..

-> yourinstagram if you won't eat sushi for me i don't want you get away !!

-> landonorris ... if i eat One (1) sushi for you will you stop this madness

-> yourinstagram maybe.. maybe not ☺️

-> landonorris baby give me a definite answer

-> yourinstagram ok ok i'll stop if you eat one

-> landonorris .. fine i'm doing this only for you

-> yourinstagram hehe i love u

landonorris guys we're still together don't worry she's just spreading fake news like a LIAR

-> yourinstagram girl spelt backwards it's liar 🤭

carlossainz55 sushi... war flashbacks

-> yourinstagram CARLOS HELDPDHSHDHDH

-> yourinstagram " iT's nEaR a fiSh "

-> yourinstagram i got him to eat an actual sushi though i won

-> carlossainz55 damn you did the impossible it must be true love

yukitsunoda0511 please get back together i'll make fishless sushi for you lando please just get back with y/n 😭

-> yourinstagram OH YUKI NO WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY BROKE UP DON'T WORRY 🥹

-> yukitsunoda0511 oh ok that's good.. please don't worry me like this again

-> yourinstagram yessir i'm sorry 😞🫡

pierregasly not the two of you worrying yuki.. it's on sight 🔫

-> yourinstagram i'm not scared of a hon hon hon baguette frenchie

-> landonorris yeah what she said go water your baguettes or sumn pierre

-> pierregasly i take pride in being a french man you guys are just haters 😒

-> yourinstagram that we are 🫶

view more comments

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ⛳ 𖦹 ˚. ᵎᵎ golf date ! ⭑

instagram 🎥

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, georgerussell63 and 20,349,444 others

yourinstagram once a third wheel, always a third wheel. i need someone to look at me the way carlos looks at my boyfriend 😞

ps the staff handed me that merc golf ball since they're sponsoring this golf course @/mclaren i promise i'm still loyal to you guys

view all 2,555,777 comments

landonorris i already look at you the way carlos looks at me 😞

landonorris baby i love you but was it really necessary to post that picture in the sixth slide 🥲

-> yourinstagram yes it was !! it's like a preview of spiderlando

-> landonorris you and your love for spider-man.. should we dress up as peter and gwen/mj the next halloween ?

-> yourinstagram OH MY GOD I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK !! a thousand times yes 🥹🥹

oscarpiastri the replies under lando's comment got me thinking y'all were getting married 🧍

-> yourinstagram i mean that'd be my reaction if he proposed to me anyways

-> landonorris marriage proposal coming up in a few years 😁

carlossainz55 i need someone to look at me the way i look at lando 😭

alex_albon what is he doing in that sixth slide...

-> landonorris that's how pro golfers play, you rookie

mercedesamgf1 you got great choice in golf courses and golf balls, y/n 🤭

mclaren please take y/n to a mclaren sponsored golf course next time @/landonorris ☺️

-> landonorris you got it boss

view more comments

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 🧸 𖦹 ˚. ᵎᵎ babysitting date ! ⭑

instagram 🎥

liked by landonorris, savnorris, maxverstappen1 and 18,839,222 others

yourinstagram babysitting my nephew and little mila with uncle la-la ! feat baby lan (even after all these years, nothing's changed 🥹)

view all 2,123,444 comments

yourinstagram baby fever went off the charts today

-> danielricciardo when are you and lando going to have a baby 😁

-> landonorris we can make one now if you want, y/n 😏

-> yourinstagram LANDO !! 😭😭 but yeah i can't wait to get married and have children soon...

-> landonorris you'd be the bestest mum 🫶

-> danielricciardo can i be the cool uncle

-> yourinstagram ofc danny no one's as cool as you !!

-> danielricciardo great 😁😁

landonorris i'm the best babysitter in the world

landonorris where did you find that baby picture of me

-> yourinstagram your mum sent it to me 🥹 you were so cute back then

-> landonorris am i not cute now

-> yourinstagram no 🤍

-> landonorris i hate u

-> yourinstagram love u too xx

savnorris thanks for babysitting mila today ! she loves you both so much ! 🫶 (auntie y/n a little bit more 🤭)

-> yourinstagram aww, no need savvy !! i had so much fun babysitting mila she's the cutest :( please call me the next time you need a babysitter i genuinely love spending time with her <3

-> yourinstagram also in your face @/landonorris mila loves me more than u 😝

-> landonorris ... mila how could you betray your uncle la-la 🤭😞

alexandrasaintmleux the matching shoes ☹️❤️

yoursister life savers !! thanks for babysitting kai on such a short notice, sis & lando ! 🤍

-> landonorris anytime (soon to be) sister in law 🫡

oscarpiastri can lily and i babysit them with you guys the next time

-> yourinstagram ofc pastry <3

view more comments

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 🛏️ 𖦹 ˚. ᵎᵎ nap date ! ⭑

instagram 🎥

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, mclaren, and 21,929,345 others

yourinstagram and it's all too much for little lando norris.

view all 3,222,127 comments

landonorris my girlfriend's hotter than all of you

-> yourinstagram my boyfriend's hotter than all of you

landonorris why do you have so many pictures of me sleeping..

-> yourinstagram because you're always falling asleep everywhere

-> landonorris fair point

landonorris come back to bed i wanna cuddle you

-> yourinstagram coming !! 🏃‍♀️

carlossainz55 😴❤️

charles_leclerc silly lando 😆

alex_albon is he really sleeping on the floor 😭

danielricciardo wake up babe new lando sleeping content just dropped

maxfewtrell god he's such a simp for you

oscarpiastri saving these for future purposes (blackmail)

-> landonorris wtf man

mclaren our favourite papaya couple 🧡

view more comments

© LILIRARI, 2023 ★

[eustasskidagenda]

Okay, this post is not based on a request. I kept thinking about it for hours and finally decided to write it down: how the OP characters would text their s/o. So here are some texting headcanons for some of my favorite characters: Eustass Kid, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Sabo. I'll probably write a part 2 with my other beloved characters: Luffy, Marco, Killer, and Robin. :D

☆Texting HCs for Kid, Law, Sanji, Zoro & Sabo

CW : g/n reader, MDNI, Kid is cursing, fluff, funny, partly nsfw, mention of alcohol for Zoro 

WC : 2k

Kid

Your name/photo in his contacts: mine. With a photo of your ass, obviously. And when he's mad at you, he renames you mid(ge).

Such a brat.

His wallpaper: a cool photo of his motorbike (I'm sorry but Kid is that kind of man in love with his own bike/car. But it's okay, he's still my favorite.) Or, a pic of your ass.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery: your ass, random photos of your face when he’s teasing you, his bike, and some punk stuff (music, makeup, outfit etc.)

His fav emoji : none.

He likes to send really, really shorts messages. Like : 

"Hi" "u know" "i have an idea" "So listen:"

Goddam Kid, just write the WHOLE sentence in one message.

He's sending you random pictures of his torso, just to flex with his big tiddies.

And you have to respond with a heart emoji and praise him each time.

If you want, he's more than willing to send dick pick too. 

Again, you have to praise him. Even if the pictures are absolutely non-aesthetic. He's blessing you with his cock after all. 

"Babe, you don't know how to take beautiful pics of your dick." "WTF SHUT UP???????? It's MY dick???!!! OF COURSE IT'S BEAUTIFUL??!!!" 

Yeah, Kid is clearly using extra punctuation. 

Oh, sure, each morning, you receive a mirror selfie of his outfit of the day. Such a punk fashion icon. "Rate my outfit on a scale of amazing to amazing" 

He doesn't use emojis because they sound too soft and stupid. "em0teS aRe f0r s0fT b0ys Y/N"

If you complain about his messages looking cold, he might use random emotes to annoy you like "UgH iF U wAnt 🦬" (with that stupid dumb sponge bob meme)

Whenever he calls you, it seems like he's yelling through the phone. 

He likes using caps lock like "HEY Y/N, WANNA FUCK TONIGHT??????" 

He's sending you random punk/rock music. And you have to listen and react to every single music, otherwise he's so pissed off. He is sharing his world with you, the less you can do is interact with him. 

He also loves sending some pics of what he's working on, because Kid likes to repare/custom some cars or motorbike. 

And last thing, I like the idea of Kid Pirates being a punk music band, so sure, Kid loves to send you some videos of him playing guitar. "My fingers are skilled in three things : music, crafting and fingering you all the fucking day long"

His phone is so damaged because he throws it every time he gets angry (like every two minutes).

Law

Your name/photo in his contacts: y/n-ya. With a cursed picture of you. Just to tease you with it. 

His wallpaper: nothing, just the random by default home screen. In his view, wallpapers are useless and pointless.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery: random pictures you took of him, emo memes, and boring stuff about medicine or basic hygiene rules for Luffy. And a guide to "how to stop screaming and how to control your anger: a guide for children" for Kid. 

His favorite emoji: 🖕🏻

Whenever you annoy him with a stupid joke or a prank you saw on TikTok, his immediate reaction is to block you. He's so annoyed, please, leave him alone. He is immediately aware that it is a prank. Luffy always does the same to him before you do.

He's never using capital, it's for the emo aesthetic, like 'I hate bread'. Nope. But ✨"i hate bread."✨, yeah, much better

And yes, he uses "." everytime, it's for the dark and tired emo aesthetic. 

He always leaves a group conversation as soon as you include him. Please, he's so pissed off by those kinds of things. 

He's able to leave your message seen for days. Just because he was busy and forgot about what you said. If you need an answer, sure, try to call him. He always keeps his phone in silent mode. 

He likes to send you cool articles that he reads. Especially about medicine, tattoos or nerd stuff like movies, books, games etc.

"wanna go to a date tattoo with me tomorrow?" 

That kind of question is clearly his love language

He enjoys teasing you with random photos of his tattooed fingers or chest. "I bet you miss these fingers." And yeah, he's clearing curling his fingers on the pic like he would do when they are inside you. He's really good at teasing you with photos. 

Kid and Luffy steal his phone whenever he's with them. So be ready to receive a lot of ugly pictures of Law (taken by the chaotic duo), middle fingers from Kid, and blurry meat pictures from Luffy. 

Poor Law deserves a break.

Sanji 

Your name/photos in his contacts : 💗💘🛐Mon Amour (my love)🛐💘💗 With the most beautiful picture of you. 

His wallpaper : a cute couple photo.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery : a lot of cooking videos or photos, you, aesthetic pic of the sky and a private album with some hot nudes that you sent to him.

His favorites emojis : 💘💗💖🛐💍🧎🌺🌸🌹🫦🥰😘🧑🏻‍🍳🍽🍷🥘 (yeah, Sanji LOVES emojis)

He's always texting you back. If he can't reply within a second, he won't open the text. Sanji, leaving his beautiful s/o with that awful "seen"? Never. 

All the mornings "good morning sweetheart 💘" and all the evenings "sleep well sweetheart, dream about me 💖"

He wants to take a cute and aesthetic pic of the both of you all the days. 

He bombards you with pictures of his cooking. It's cute, but also annoying because he can't help but send extra long texts. He describes every single action he did, along with recipes and tips. 

He enjoys seeing your outfit of the day. He can attempt to match his clothes to yours. 

Random "I love you 💖" and "if no one told you you were pretty today : you're the prettiest 🥰" 

He enjoys sending you cooking videos. "We should eat this tonight. What do you think? 🧑🏻‍🍳"

He's pretty good at sexting. He knows how to take aesthetic photo of his hands, back, or mouth. Not just an ugly dick pick (Kid, Zoro, I'm looking at you). And he also likes to leave you some message like.

I would sit you down on this table if you were with me right now. You know, the one in your kitchen where he had dinner with your parents yesterday? I would gently kiss your neck, fondle your chest, and slowly kneel between your legs until you shout my name. You would pull on my hair, begging me to keep going until you cum repeatedly on my face.  👅 "

And if you send him a nude, well, he's going to die from a nosebleed.

Rest in peace, Sanji. 

Zoro

Your name/photos in his contacts : "y/n". You pick a picture for him because Zoro and phones are not compatible.

His wallpaper : a cool katana

What kind of pictures in his gallery : gym selfies, katanas and alcohol (all with ugly quality)

His fav emojis : 👍🏻 and 😴 Like:

"hey Zoro, you're alright" 👍🏻

"Zoro, wanna hang out?" 😴

"Babe, what are you doing?" 😴

"… am i annoying you?" 👍🏻

He can responds to absolutely anything with those two emojis. 

Zero is so oblivious, so let's be honest: he is not good at using phones. Almost every day, he forgets his phone at home. And even if he didn't forget about it, it's probably on silent mode or just off.

He doesn’t know how to use the keyboard, so prepare yourself for coded-message like "o!. @= sp⛑t t🧹day???/!df🆎e !!"He can't even use the excuse "my cat walked on my keyboard", he just sucks with technology.

Your messages are often "seen ✔️" and that's all. Not because he wants to be mean, just... he didn't understand the concept of answering every text. He takes all of your messages as random information. Like "Hey, I'd love to see you tonight!". Well. OK. Message understood. That's all.

The only application he has on his phone is Google Maps. Even with it, he still gets lost. "Turn left." Without a doubt, he turns right. 

Once, he tried to please you with a dick pic. But the photo was just terrible: bad luminosity, an ugly close-up of his cock, blurred as fuck, and you can see the dirty tissue behind him.

He doesn't answer when you call him because he's either asleep or at the gym (or drunk).

Once, he also tried to send you a voice message, but it was just the sound of the wind. He forgot to talk closer to the microphone.

Sabo 

Your name/photos in his contacts : "my revolutionary 🎩💛". With a beautiful pic of your smiling face. 

His wallpaper : a symbol of revolution. 

What kind of pictures in his gallery : petition screenshots, his brothers, you, anti-capitalist memes and a private album with some hot pic of you (naughty Sabo)

His fav emojis : 🔥✨🖕🏻💛✊🏻😡😏😎🤩👉🏻👌🏻🫵🏻

Sabo is... complicate. Sometimes, he doesn't answer for WEEKS. And sometimes he's extra chatty. And when he's chatty well...

Sabo is always spamming you with petition links. "Save the dolphins", "save the monkeys", "fuck capitalism", "for the resignation of *insert random politician name*" 

"Hey sweetheart, manifestation tomorrow. See you there!! 🫵🏻" 

When it's not petitions, it's probably videos or articles. Sabo is a pure revolutionary. Be prepared to receive lengthy texts when he wants to fight for a cause. It's cute, honestly. He's really involved and passionate. 

"You, me, on a trip tomorrow?! 😏"

Sabo has a knack for surprising you with trips, so prepare yourself. This man craves adventure and surprises. He wants you to join his crazy journey. 

Sometimes, he's using proper grammar and punctuation, sometimes he's using a lot of !!!!!!!!??????? And caps lock. Especially when he's furious about something.  He makes a lot of typo errors because he's always in a rush while typing.

Let's fught  *figrt *fijkt *FUCK *LET'S FIGHT (and fuck)

He enjoys taking pictures of you unexpectedly because it makes you seem more natural. 

"So… sweetheart… we have a new roommate" with a cute pic of a dog/frog/duck/snail/whatever. Sabo has a kind heart. If he sees a wounded or abandoned animal, he feels obliged to adopt it.

And regarding spicy texts… 

Sabo is a kinky boy. So sure, he's thirsty when it comes to sexting/nudes. As a revolutionary, he is also very careful. He always asks you first before sending you nude or spicy texts. If you're willing, then prepare yourself.

A bunch of nudes. Since he's good with them, he won't display his dick in a weird and unattractive angle to you. He enjoys showing you his hands when he's wearing his gloves. Or a mirror photo of his back.

"I know you will scratch it when I'll fuck you tonight 😏"

You're not forced to send him nude or spicy texts back. He respects your boundaries without exception. And if you send him a photo anyway, he's also really nice. Always a comment like "your ass is soooooo good with this angle. I can't believe I'm that lucky 🥵" and if he wants to save a photo for his collection, he's always asking if it's okay with you.

"Sweetie, i have a new toy for you… 💛"

We all know what he's talking about. Naughty Sabo.

[eatingaburrito]

SNOOZE — oscar piastri

summary. in which, everyone finally meets oscar’s new girlfriend—who happens to be a ballerina. (part three)

genre. smau

previous ↺ next

you — 2min ago

the queen has arriveeeeeed

come get your queen pls

oscar baby — 1min ago

😂😂

Finally you’re here

Your plane took his sweet time

I was ready to join you in the sky bro

you — 0.59s ago

LMAOO WHAT

stop being obsessed with me 🙄

im collecting the luggage !!!!!!!!!

oscar baby — 0.53s ago

Be careful pls

I hate the fact that I couldn’t come pick you up at airport

Lando and I tried to convince them but we kind of failed

you — 0.45s ago

dw the other man of my life is coming to pick me up

oscar baby — 0.36s ago

I’m the only man of your life

Stop tripping

you — 0.32s ago

you’re spending too much time w lando

you start speaking like him

give me my sweet oscar back ☹️☹️☹️☹️

oscar baby — 0.28s ago

I’m still sweet my love

I got you a surprise

you — 0.25s ago

REALLY ????????????????

i think i’m in love w you

oscar baby — 0.21s ago

I think too

You’re good ?

you — 0.19s ago

uuuuh ill be good if random people weren’t trying to get pictures of me

like

for what ????

WAIT BRUH

SOME RANDOM GIRL IS NOT EVEN HIDING HERSELF SHES LITERALLY TAKING PICTURES OF MY BIG ASS FACE ????????????

ok i literally ran away

oscar baby — 0.15s ago

Wtf ? What are they doing ?

This is starting to get on my nerves

Why did I even asked the staff for permission, I should’ve picked you up that’s all

you — 0.12s ago

no no no

im good baby don’t worry about me

people are weird everyday !!!!!

oscar baby — 0.9s ago

That’s not helping but okay baby

Please just get to [Your best friend’s name]’s car safely

you — 0.7s ago

dw im already outside the airport

oh

wait

do you think there is a celebrity or something that is coming out the airport ????

bc there’s literally tons of paparazzi out there

um wait a damn second

WHY R THEY SCREAMING MY NAME WTF IM NOT SELENA GOMEZ

oscar baby — 0.6s ago

Oh shit

liked by lilymhe, danielricciardo and many others…

yourusername (if we ignore the fact that my big ass face is trending on twitter) im happy to be home 🤍

view all the comments

oscarpiastri And by home, she means me

yourusername obviously 🙄

landonorris can’t even breath next to oscar she’s hugging him like a koala

yourusername you see him everyday bro don’t get on my nerves

landonorris you scare me so yes

user THE PAPARAZZI PICS PLS ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

user you literally flipped them off 😂😂😂

yourusername they were starting to get on my nerves bruh

user queen

user omg finally the return of yourname and oscar’s pictures 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

danielricciardo 😂😂

yourusername stop laughing

danielricciardo Ok Lord Farquaad

yourusername if we don’t fight at the next race i don’t understand

user OMG YOURNAME IS COMING TO THE NEXT RACE

landonorris LMAO I JUST SAW THE LADY’S VIDEO ON TWITTER

yourusername she literally zoomed on my pimples wtf ????????????????

lilymhe i wanna become bestie w you

yourbestfriend you’re not stealing my place ❗️❗️

lilymhe please ☹️

yourbestfriend how much would you pay

lilymhe can i pay you w food ?

yourbestfriend you BETTER pay me w food

user can we just stop and talk about the beauty of this woman

user like why are you being so gorgeous and for what reasons

liked by oscarpiastri

mclaren We missed your health walks in the paddock ! 😂🧡

yourusername i missed you too admin

oscarpiastri and yourusername posted new stories !

© eatingaburrito

[boiohboii]

Vigilante Shit 《pt.1》

(max verstappen x ricciardo!reader)

Yn Ricciardo is a familiar face for every formula 1 fan, having known her since she was 10 years old as she joined her brother in the paddock over the years, she leads quite a normal life as a normal college student with her boyfriend.. well, as normal as it can be

or

in which yn ricciardo gets through her first heartbreak by the help of her brother's teammate?

N.B: the summary isn't the best tbh... this small series (i think 4 or 5 parts maximum) is inspired by taylor swift's reputation and midnight albums (2 of my all time favourite albums)... I hope you guys like it! Also I left a hidden message for where this is going in here, so let me know your theories in the comments, thank you for reading ♥️♥️ °ps: don't worry, pt2 of the cillian x fem driver reader is coming very soon° WARNINGS: very short, not proof read, swear words, smoking and drinking (mentioned and in pics), 5 year age gap, if I missed anything else please let me know

faceclaim: jenna ortega

masterlist

Liked by jakesven, danielricandynric, ynswife and 89,618 others

DannyRicUpdates: YN Ricciardo gone wild?? The 20 year old was seen tody smoking and drinking right before the Italian GP (not really a hot look, the youngest riccardo looks sick and tired). yn is known as quite the lovely and good girl, her older brother always supports her and takes her travelling whenever her studies allow while she has a lovely boyfriend back home who is always waiting for her with open arms(as documented through hers and Daniel's social media) so what could possibly push her to waste her life away?

ynric: this is ridiculous, first of i am 20 I can drink in Europe and second it's non of your fucking business you dickheads

Liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 183,627 others

ynric: Tous les mêmes, tous les mêmes, tous les mêmes

username: the only 20 year old that looks like an actual 20 year old

username: now hold up, the first picture of her and jake was captioned with not all men... now she has this caption after 3 weeks of no jake

username: you might be onto something

username: I see where this is going and I don't like it

Liked by Dannyandyn, mickschumacher, danielricciardo and 126,819 others

ynric: I regret you all the time

username: soooo, jake fucked up huh...

username: tous les mêmes indeed

username: fucking hell man

username: no cause y'all remember that video where yn and jake answered some questions and he said that he doesn't think she'd look good in short hair and that he thinks dark colors and black doesn't suite her

username: thank fuck they broke up, like sure I hate that she had to get hurt but she can only go up from here

~liked by danielricciardo~

Liked by danielricciardo, Charles_Leclerc, ynric and 1,927,048 others

maxverstappen1: I like it 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

username: max listening to Taylor swift was not on my 2023 bingo card wtf

username: no cause why did he choose the one song that had shit in the title

username: no cause yn having the caption from would've, could've, should've and now max suddenly listens to a song from the same album

username: coincidence? I THINK THE FUCK NOT

username: not him having the song on repeat 😂😂

part 2

[six-eyed-samurai]

YOU HAVE 30 UNREAD MESSAGES...

SUMMARY: Rindou loves you and all but...you really aren't supposed to be spamming his phone during a meeting right now.... A/N: This is absolute crack, based off a recent convo and dedicated to my unhinged moot @plebbypebblepleb WARNINGS: Sanzu on drugs and swearing

>>look at this cat I found

>>he's so cute!!!!!!

>>IM GONNA DIE FROM CUTENESS can we pls pls adopt him???

>>never mind

>>HE BIT ME

Rindou felt his eye twitch. He discreetly swiped away the notifications on his pinging phone away under the table. Thankfully no one had noticed yet, although Ran was grinning slyly at him he always was.

Twenty messages.

Barely ten minutes had even gone by in the meeting.

Luckily he had turned off volume for his phone. Mikey wouldn't be too happy to have his Bonten meeting so frequently interrupted so unprofessionally. Rindou didn't have much interest in being laughed at or questioned by the others either.

>>riiiiiiin

>>I was watching some videos

>>would you become a 100 foot boa constructor who eats British children boiled and gets skinned to be used as socks or boots for a Russian lady I consumed three centuries ago (she tasted like coconut)

I'm in a meeting<<

And no???<<

Rindou continued to nod at Mikey's words, doing his utmost best to divide his attention between his rapidly typing fingers and his boss while Ran ducked his head under the table curiously and came up with a wink and a very obvious smirk. Koko eyes them both suspiciously.

He was used to this. Absolutely. One thing that came with dating you was that you had a tendency to spam his phone with updates of what you were doing, odd things you had seen, the most creative of questions and pictures bordering on unhinged.

He wouldn't change it for anything, of that Rindou was certain. He loved you to Pluto and back and in an every day fight he'd take your side over Ran (even despite the elder Haitani’s “miserable” theatrics of supposed betrayal). The texts livened up the dreary work of being part of the number one most wanted criminal gang.

But…

>>I'M NOT FINISHED

>>or drink fruit juice that will give you the seven most deadly diseases

Both are terrible<<

>>[image attached]

WTF<<

>>Like it?? <33

I don't want close up pics of your feet<<

>>how dare you

…it was quite the inconvenience when he was supposed to be working.

Like right now.

Rindou reached up and rubbed his temples. Mikey was getting to the important part and he was really struggling to concentrate. It wasn't like you didn't know he was busy. He had specifically mentioned it today. Rindou couldn't fault you either - this was just your love language and…this was probably revenge for him misplacing your favourite shirt.

He briefly considered ignoring your texts for now, until he could answer them later. But then it'd probably spiral to a 100+ and the vibrations were really starting to get to him. And he did once promise to never ignore anything you said after you apologized for talking too much. You might even call him.

Ugh. What a conundrum.

Ran’s smile widened and a new notification sprang up on Rindou’s phone.

>>Ah ah ah lil bro

>>texting your gf in a meeting?

>>you're very obvious about it

>>I'm sure Mikey will notice soon~~

Great. Two idiots were spamming up his phone now. Couldn't he ever catch a break? He caught Kakucho’s frown at him and adjusted his poker face again.

Shut up<<

You're on your phone too<<

>>I'm just warning you~~

Rindou exhaled sharply and kicked his brother under the table. Childish, but Ran was a child and he deserved it.

>>Rin???

>>guess what!!

>>my fav singer just dropped a new album!!

>>can we buy it later

>>pleaseeeeee

“Haitani Shithead! What are you doing under the table?”

Crap, Sanzu caught him. Rindou shrugged, leaning away from his side-eyeing neighbor. “Nothing, just need to arrange some things on my phone for some debts to be collected,” He lies casually.

The pinkhead is probably too high to realize the holes in the fib. Thankfully he lets it go with another pop of a pill. “Sure, don’t gotta be so secretive.”

“Also, don’t call me Shithead.”

>>[3 images attached]

>>chat wake up what is going on in my friends gc rn

Yes, Rindou wanted to scream, he absolutely had to be secretive…with the cursed pictures you had just sent him. Thirty unread messages already and the meeting wasn’t even ending yet! God, Ran wasn’t helping either - he too was now spamming Rindou’s chat.

>>rindou and (y/n)

>>sitting in a tree

>>k

>>i

>>s

You know what, he could make his excuses later. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Rindou massaged his temples again, sighed deeply and looked down on his phone.

He blocked the both of you.

***

Of course it came back to bite his ass when he went home later that night: having taken extreme offense to the block you had promptly banished Rindou out of your once shared bedroom and he was exiled to the couch.

Which was being hogged by Ran who claimed he was there first for his sixth nap of the day.

Maybe next time he should just “lose” his phone before a meeting.

[xotication]

hear me out okay..

kaneki loves to leave marks. whether it’s hickeys, bruises, literal bite marks.. you’ve had your fair share of it all. you can’t even complain either, because it doesn’t change anything. poor ken just thinks they look really pretty on you nd he can’t help it :(

sometimes it’s kind of embarrassing how many hickeys he’ll leave on your neck.. you hate having to cover them all the time so at some point you just give up & he’s ecstatic about it. you could be doing your makeup at your lil vanity, nd he’ll come up behind you just to lift your chin nd admire the love bites in the mirror. he’s sosososososo fucken proud of em too.

one time he took a video & posted it on YOUR insta story.. you knew he had your password but you didn’t think he’d do that. what’s funny is that you didn’t even realize until people were replying to your story going crazy.

“wtf??”

“are you dating a vampire??”

“did it hurt..”

“what’s wrong with you..?”

all types of things were being said. kaneki didn’t care though, & he didn’t necessarily understand why you did either. in his eyes it just let people know you were his nd his only.

the bruises he’d give you would be on your hips or thighs from gripping them too hard during sex. he tells you he’s sorry nd that he feels super bad afterwards but he’ll never admit that a big little part of him enjoys hurting you like that.. he doesn’t know what you’d think so he keeps it to himself.

he’ll always make sure to give you an ice pack wrapped in a towel so that it helps the bruises go away but if you say you’re fine without it, he doesn’t pry.. he’ll even ask if he can take pictures but you never really wondered why. you’re just a good s/o so you let him!!

oh nd don’t even get me started on you leaving marks on him.

he LOVES IT. he genuinely thinks it’s so cute nd he leaves them on display if & when the chance is given. he doesn’t care what anyone thinks. even if he goes to work, he couldn’t give less of a fuck if they’re “unprofessional” you try & tryyyy to tell him that he won’t die if he covers them up.. but he begs to differ.

“how will other people know i’m taken if they’re covered?”

“well, you could tell them.. if they ask you anything”

“too much work.”

kaneki’s using any excuse that he can. nd idk if you’ve ever seen those pics of the girls making lil hearts on their bf’s chest out of hickeys but kaneki BEGS you to do it for him. nd when you do he doesn’t wear a shirt for days.. “i should get this tatted” LMAOO ND HE’S SOSOSO SERIOUS.

his obsession with you nd everything you do is absolutely insane. it’s to the point where he’s literally told you he doesn’t even like looking at other girls/boys. like seeing them in public or at work is an ick for him. you leave him wondering why they even exist.

if his friends ask about the marks or tease him about them, he doesn’t let it slide at all. like omg.. this man is all like “mkay & when’s the last time you got play..? ohhh okay” HE’S SO SASSY FOR WHAATT. like baby sit down. it’s just a jokey joke.

n e wayz. he’s all for the love marks. you guys could be 40 nd he’ll still be laying them across your skin.

we love a crazily obsessive man!! ^-^

[meangirls-imagines]

If you haven’t seen already, there is a person on TikTok @/this_is_slim who posted a video talking about how rude Reneè was when she tried to ask for a pic at Coachella.

First off, let me say this loud and clear.

CELEBRITIES DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING.

Reneè is there to work, have fun, and watch other people perform. She is not there to take a pic at the drop of a hat. She has the right to say no. For you to sit down and make a TikTok talking about how rude she was, commenting about how you feel like since she’s a up and coming artist who OWES you their time and a pic, AND for the whole video, you don’t even call her by her name? You call her Regina George the entire time? Wtf??

Listen, I’ve never been to Coachella, but I know it basically become a place where people go JUST to meet celebs. You go there to watch people perform, not harass a celebrity for pictures and then when they say no, you go on social media and put them on blast.

So allow me to say it again for the ones in the cheap seats:

CELEBRITIES. OWE. YOU. NOTHING.

Do better.

[teamnick]

favorite piarles moments that make you want to do something drastic?

omg GREAT question, but soso difficult to answer 🥲 the thing is, every piarles moment makes me wanna do something drastic akdjskskd but i'll try not to empty all my camera roll into this answer. So!

whatever was going on in the paris nba event...specifically in this moment. you wanna grab him, charles? take his shirt off? go on! 😌

then, the canal+ interview from 2018...the whole thing is kinda insane, with lines like "we've done many things together...but you wont hear about all of it. we're not gonna say everything!" like OKAY...and then charles just puts out this line:

idk both of them have this talent of saying some devastating things in only a few words and this one kills me every time. 🥹

monza 2020...i cant ever be normal about this, i'm sorry (lie). the way charles barrels into pierre to hug him, completely ignoring grosjean who is already hugging pierre aksjfksks love it.

and then he sneaks away to watch pierre's podium before being medically cleared. if this was a fanfic, i'd say uhm this is a bit too much! and...well. this happened irl. 🫶

the squeezie vid...all. time. like i cant stress enough how genius the whole thing is. you get piarles doing a baby simulation class, them teasing each other, pierre making charles blush with certain gestures lmao love it!!!

montreal 2022. all that weekend was just. amazing in giving us piarles content, my personal fav is ofc charles' insta story with pierre wearing charles' cap and charles laughing like a hyena. i'll never recover!!!

NBA date nr. 1.....no words. very smooth move from pierre. 😌✌️

when they were celebrating their f2 & f3 championship wins together...this is lowkey my fav pic of them. the joy!!!! their humongous smiles!!!! charles drenched in champagne...pierre grabbing his thighs while looking up at him...oh man. 🥰🥰

baku 2021...i just had to include it because wtf is happening here, guys??? again, charles arrives like a force of nature, grabs pierre's hand while he is still celebrating with his team and simply glues himself to pierre, jfc. 🧐🤪🫠

okay i can no longer include any pics but there are many more moments bw these 2 that make me go insane...the monaco hug, their monza 2022 hand grabbing, "mr gasly 😘", "captain CL", box of bluffs video, tennis dates...and then ofc all the monza 2019 photos.

wow this got long 😅😅 what can i say. I love them!! 😻

[sgiandubh]

Show must go on...

... and rather very much in your face, mind you.

Scottish Xena posted two stories at about 7 AM, counting calories, and, in the process, making sure to address roughly any objections that were ventilated on this side of the fandom, including this very page. See for yourself...

What are the odds she'd be talking about nutrition? Right. I am not an idiot. I know when something is way Over The Top - less is more, Xena. Less is always more: there was no need to overdo it like that, placemat and all, if you wanted to remain credible. You read us and you have been instructed to do so, just to perfectly stick to your walking, talking and very profitable Local Innuendo script.

Fair enough. And then, you also tell us that you will be at Hyrox today around noon, to film some ESN promo: your bread and butter, of course. S is just for shits, giggles and that Instagram yield:

So, there's that. *urv connecting dots like crazy, without having the slightest clue of what was discussed at that table. Her own brand of cheap fanfic for the masses, for the other five clowns commenting, out of which three at least are her own sock accounts.

Cue in the Useful Idiot. The Brazilian Tourist and Fan. Uma senhorita tão desagradável, who changed her story in between her first reaction reel and the debrief, back at her suburban Airbnb or where the fuck that was filmed.

First reaction reels:

'Just saw SH.' Not alone, oh no: 'com uma moça'. With a girl. So yeah, she had qualms asking for a pic.

First lie and dramatization. She posts a message for S where she explains she did not dare approach him, but she saw him alright. The one in Portuguese is completely different, though: 'I am going to post the video without sound, because I could only say "what a shame", while I was filming him on the sly. LOL.' I guess she thinks we are all idiots, or something. Also, in her reel, she confirms: 'ele estava almoçando com outra pessoa'/he was having lunch with another person. So far, so good, right?

Six hours later, a second debrief batch of reels, taking her reader's questions. The narrative changes, with a strong bias:

'Yes, he is super accessible and educated! I did not freak out, I just politely asked to take a pic (what I do consider the right way to approach famous people, at the end they are still human beings).'

For the people in the back: she is a lady. And a liar. The worst kind of liar, actually: a narcissistic one. Let's see what else she takes great pains telling us: 'ele tem um fandom bem tóxico'/he has a very toxic fandom. From now on, we just know what to expect, right?

Second answer, she explains he is very tall. He went inside to pay the bill and then he also went towards the bathroom (wtf?), she followed him inside, she asked for the menu, he finally went out and she approached him ('abordei' - 🙄) between the door and her table. Classy.

Cue in to a third answer (and second lie) to a very odd question: 'what did he smell like?' or something along those lines. For this one, I had to ask confirmation from Shipper Mom, who told me two things (she knew next to nothing about the whole episode- no bias): ' it's damn hard to understand what the hell she is talking about, she is eating half of her words. Plus you can tell she is lying.'

He doesn't smell, she tells us. But hey, she also freaked out a bit, finally (I thought she hadn't?!) and then well, 'ele estava com outra pessoa, uma moça, deve ser a namorada dele'/ he was with another person, a girl, probably his girlfriend'. But then he went inside (again? wasn't he coming out of the venue?), 'and the girl stayed at the table'. Things go murky afterwards, like they absolutely always do: she tells us she spoke to her (?), but would not say anything more, yet making sure to tell us she 'saw both of them'.

If anyone has a better version than mine, please step forward: we listened three times in a row, with Shipper Mom, a teacher of Portuguese and published literary translator. She was appalled by this young woman's carelessness and mendacity.

The Brazilian Tourist Fan is 23 years old (and it shows), she presents herself as a journalist and writer:

Seriously? What are the odds?

And finally, to wrap it up, the classical cheering moment, at yesterday's Hyrox: ' yeah, Sarah, nice!'

Nice, indeed.

FFS. Will it ever end?

Yes, it will. Anything ends: even Stalin's terror.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

What do you think about the "kill notice" about the new Catherine pic? I looked at the picture, there doesn't seem to be any distortion or manipulation. Some filters have been used but nothing is misaligned or photoshopped in or out. No dodgy shadows. Wtf is with the reporters agreeing with it?? Is this a shady attempt to force Catherine to be out in the public sooner than she would like to be? Apparently the controversy is about her left hand and somewhere along Charlotte's left sleeve. Part of me feels it's because reporters know she is now well and are angry she isn't back to work and giving them content. But, the picture agencies pulled the pic, so what's with that?? Such an unnecessary controversy.

I think it’s much ado about nothing. A lot of what people are point out as edited can be explained away, such as:

Kids are wiggly so of course they’d be blurry.

It’s a still from a video or a Live Photo.

Kate isn’t wearing her rings because maybe her fingers are still swollen from all the post-op meds and steroids, or maybe she just doesn’t want to wear them.

It's a program/app on William’s phone that stitches together the best parts in a sequence of photos to fix a squirming kid. (Like Google’s Best Take feature, in which case it’s AI, not photoshop.)

But wait, what about that pap pic last week of Kate with all weight in her face looking unrecognizable, and now in this photo she looks like herself? It’s about camera angles and body positions. There’s a pose - I call it the goose pose - where if you tilt your upper body forward just slightly and push your head/chin all the way forward, the extra weight in your midsection, neck, and face disappears from the camera if the photo is being taken from the front. (When you do this pose and the picture is taken from the side, you look like a goose.)

It’s great that the wires all have standards and that they take it seriously but the “kill” request illustrates a bigger problem: that in todays age of photo editing, filters, and AI, is any photo we see real and original? Once you permit minor edits like removing dust (which is an AP allowance), it opens the door for other edits and who’s the authority to say what’s right or wrong? So it’s a sticky line.

The reporters are writing about it because they have nothing else to write about. The media makes a ton of money off Kate and the children (more than they care to admit) so of course they’re going to pick up on this and write about it. They’re desperate for Kate content because she sells.

[[Interrupting now to say that I've just seen the update from KP of Kate (scroll to the end) acknowledging the edits and apologizing for any issues. It's bullshit she had to do this but I understand why she did it: she's proud of her photography, it's her own picture she edited and not one from anyone else, and it's overshadowing the Commonwealth Service coverage.]]

I mean, it's no coincidence that a prolific royal fashion blogger notorious for bashing Kate while simultaneously profiting from her appearances and photographs announced she's taking a break to Easter. Other royal events are still happening. Other royals are still working. Other royal families are still working. But that doesn't matter: she makes her money from Kate and when Kate doesn't work, she can't make money. So why bother keeping up the blog?

Anyway, believe what you want to believe about the photograph, but just be ready for all of this to backfire. And trust me, it will backfire.

If it's true that the Sussex Squad is behind this, well, Meghan may work hard but karma works harder. Harry and Meghan's own photoshopping and photo-editing may become equally under fire: Harry's Friar Tuck bald spot is world famous and everyone knows about it, no matter how much photoshop they do.

If it's true that the media and social media is making this a bigger issue than it actually is (which it sounds like, given Kate's newest message), then reap the consequences of your actions: fewer pictures from Kate and fewer pictures of the Wales family. The chances are extraordinarily high that they'll stop sharing pictures of their family now. It's already happened - back in ye olde days, it was custom for the royal family to have a photo call during a ski holiday so the press pack could get their pictures and leave them alone. William and Kate did this in 2016 on a skiing holiday, and boom - immediate criticism. Now no more vacation photos.

If it's true that the reporters picked up on this to force Kate to returning to work sooner than expected, well, I hope Kate retreats further into the cocoon of privacy and doesn't give you the satisfaction of new birthday pictures.

If it's true that this is a sign of how shambolic KP's communications office is, then hopefully the right people learn the right lessons and make more professional decisions. We know Kate will. She always learns from her missteps, even if it takes some time.

If it's true that the wires and the press associations need to revise their rules because everyone edits, I hope they do. Trust me, there are more worrying matters about photo editing and AI manipulation to write and "kill" than a touched-up family photo of the future king's family posted to social media. This is not the hill to stake your professional reputation on.

But I guarantee you that the same people who are making a fuss about these photo edits that EVERYONE does are the same people who are moaning about the dearth of content from the Waleses and they're the same people who scream and shout when the Waleses don't do what they want them to do.

But at the end of the day, it's a family photo taken by a proud husband and dad, who probably made stupid cheesy jokes to make his kids laugh like that, which his wife and their mother edited to make sure everyone looks their best. Everyone does this. It's fucking normal.

It's much ado about fucking nothing and I hope that everyone, most especially the reporters, who fed into the hysteria understand what they've done. They've just signed the execution notice for Waleses family photos.

Kate's apology:

[starmocha]

I have a type. It's called "scary bird-loving men who enjoys boxing, riding motorcycles, fishing, and jumping off buildings. And are big softies for the woman they love."

Gavin (Mr Love: Queen's Choice), aka Birdcop

Commander of the Special Task Force (good 👍)

Birthday: July 29 (Leos)

181 cm

Evol: Wind

Residential "bad boy" type

Hard exterior, actual softie

Jumps off buildings a lot / Does not use stairs / Uses his Evol to commute

Frequently associated with birds because of his Evol

Likes animals

Frequently takes care of birds, especially injured ones

Gives terrible names (Pearly, Greenie, Sparky)

Can't sing, but I appreciate him trying to sing "Happy Birthday" to me

Can eat a lot, bless him

Can cook basic meals

Calls you "my girl" 🥹

Is always proud of you and believes in you 100%

Will drop everything for you

Loves spending time with you. Doesn't care what the activity is, he just wants to spend time with you. 🥹🥹🥹

Sylus (Love and Deepspace), aka Crow Man Big Ca-Cawk

Leader of Onychinus (bad 👎)

Birthday: April 18 (Aries)

190 cm

Evol: Energy manipulation

Residential "bad boy" type

Hard exterior, actual softie

Also jumps off buildings a lot / Also uses his Evol to commute. Men are weird.

Frequently associated with birds because of...Mephisto.

Likes animals, but pretends he doesn't

Has taken care of an injured pigeon ("Nightplumes")

Gives terrible names (Kitten)

Can't sing, but he's delusional about his singing ability (read: lack of) and I'm delusional when he's singing "Rock-a-Bye Baby" so idk man ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Also claims he has a huge appetite ("Instant Noodle" video call). Makes sense. He's a big boy 😩

Made a salad and practiced unhygienic food handling and can make ginger tea for you when you're on your period

Calls you "sweetie" 🥹 and "kitten" 😒

Has 100% faith in you, knows your worth and recognizes your skills

Will drop everything for you and take out your enemies for you

Loves spending time with you. Says he is never bored when he is with you. 🥹🥹🥹

They both enjoy boxing. I also enjoy watching them box. They're so fucking fit wtf I'd let them pin me down 😩

They also like fishing but Tumblr is limiting me to 10 pics and I ain't wasting it on a fish, so just trust me bro...unless you want a part 2 in which case I can easily be swayed

They both use guns, but they also have no problem with using their fists. Actually. They both probably prefer their fists tbqh...

They both enjoy riding their motorcycle. And I also enjoy watching them ride their motorcycles. respectfully would 100% ride them both

Cute glasses/sunglasses shopping date heck yeah~ they're so stupidly in love with you it's fantastic 10/10

I just think they're neat.

[joesquinns]

https://www.tumblr.com/joesquinns/759493106439782400/from-racist-songs-to-problematic-boyfriends-doja?source=share

JQ & DC is most likely a PR stunt, not a real relationship. Joseph had (most likely/pretty much) rejected her back in 2022 and she had dissed him in one of her songs called "Attention", basically saying he's lazy as shit, how he needs a new wig (Eddie reference), how he thought he was above her (he basically is), how she didn't care that he wouldn't fuck her (she does), and how she had him famous from the problem she had with Noah (she fucking didn't, it was all Joseph that made him famous). Obviously, she couldn't take rejection. Also, she has an album coming out and tours to do and he has Gladiator 2, F4, and he was in British Vogue. She's a very bad person and I have no idea why she had to be the pick for the PR stunt but whatever. Also, the stupid thing is that people are attacking Joseph's father for "raising his son badly". Which passes me off because his dad didn't do anything. This is all JQ and DC's issue. I don't want them bringing his father into this. See many people are saying to "just accept the fact that they're dating" but they aren't even dating. Joseph didn't like her in 2022 and she's very bad. She couldn't take rejection like a bitch. And she's very demonic and weird as fuck. This has to do with Marvel or something and this JQ and DC news is from a person who's notorious for PR stunts. Also, JQ isn't the only one doing these things. It's just a Marvel thing I guess. And to anyone who supports DC or even likes her, that's insane. I talked about this to my mother and grandmother and they even say that it's fake and it's just a PR stunt. A similar thing happened with famous rappers Ice Spice and Central Cee where they did a PR stunt with their new collab song. And they both are problematic in their ways. Also if anyone thinks that hating on Doja is "racist", most people agree that Lupita and Joe would've been way better and cuter. Lupita is a real woman and very kind and not problematic while DC is just a stupid girl who's weird as shit. And I'm not jealous at all, I could care many fucks less about Joe's dating life. But this is DC, a very problematic girl who's done very bad things and is very demonic and weird as hell. If it was any woman that people knew and wasn't problematic, it would've been way better. But this isn't any chick, it's Doja. So people can make all the articles as they want but in the end, it's fake as fuck. It's a PR stunt. I will always love Joe but he gave me the ick and I feel like I need a break. And maybe others. Joe can do whatever he wants, he doesn't know me. And I only know so much about him. He's a grown man and he has a job. But I can disagree with things. I can have opinions on things. My opinion on his choice is....well wtf Joe? But I can't just tell him what he's doing is bad. We all just need to like- ignore it and not talk about it and just suffer for a couple of weeks. Then we can have our old Joseph back but for now, he's just Joe.

Dw JQ fandom, chill, and take a deep breath, it's fake. It'll go away. We'll hold each other's hands through this bumpy road and eventually, we'll cross it. All we have to do is wait and pray or whatever. And if you have your own opinions, that's fine. But here's something to ponder over and think about. There's more to it but I'm too tired to type it out lmaoo😭😭

I rest my case.

To be honest, how everything has been handled and came out since Sunday I'm leading it to being a PR stunt as well.

No one can claim that it is not at all suspicious...

We'll get the blurry pic on Deux and then suddenly not even an hour after there's an article on THE SUN and then suddenly there's a video from two weeks ago and then suddenly someone saw them a day earlier and all this happens in the span of what? 2 hours? And oh suddenly someone spots him on a concert of her from a month ago where his neck seems like the one of a giraffe?

The video where he's grabbing her "ass" is's suspicious as hell...it's more her hip than her ass but ok we could argue about that but it's clear that he's asking her before he lets his hand slide down so for me it's staged af and doesn't scream "comfortable".

DC is a bad person and everyone who says something else is simply...I don't know...

No matter "If she has changed" or "maybe she's different"...I don't care that her fans are saying "she's calmer" and what else.

In Italy we say A wolf may lose its fur, but it will always remain a wolf

I also don't believe that Joe is "not online" because hell, I didn't know about all her shit before Sunday and it didn't take me that much and that long to find it and he has his phone with him all the time WE see him so he knows how to google

Believe me, I can disagree on things as well and I am disagreeing on his choice here. I know for him it doesn't matter but just because I'm a fan, I can still express my anger about the bullshit he does (and everyone who has been following me for longer knows that I'm usually one who defends him).

And before anyone comes in - no I'm not jealous. I know he doesn't know me. I know I don't stand a chance with him and yet I have the right to be angry if he pulls such a bullshit and to post that on my little blog.

To sum it up:

I don't find this funny and I hope this is over soon because otherwise if this really turns out to be "serious" and "longlasting" (like some people claim it to be) I need to unstan him because I don't know if I can support someone who showed himself to be this sweet guy and gentleman person (the past two years) and then turns around and does this bullshit. Either you're real or fake and I'm not here for fakeness.

That's just my two cents and I can guarantee you all this comes out of my brain and I don't have a friend of a friend of a friend who knows him/works in PR/hooked up with him/is in the industry.

Thank you and now I go outside to touch some grass instead to go to his dad’s insta to leave a stupid comment….how old are you? 5? Get a grip

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Sorry just… just having insane!König thoughts. Imagine u want a dog. Oh, that one? That dog over there, one like that right? Okay! (Breaks into owners house and steals the dog) “for you :D” and ur like omg !!!! Wtf 😭

Someone disrespects u (disrespecting König’s girl is literally just looking at her for more than 3 seconds), he has their head on a platter.

So many red flags!! But he loves u, in his own fucked up way. Do him any wrong and he’ll lock u in his home forever tho😔

Yes this is yandere König, our most beloved toxic King ❤️ (Aw I've missed him ❤️❤️❤️)

He would love to steal get you a pet because that way, you won’t whine too much about wanting to see more of your friends and family. Dog is a good option because you can’t leave this animal without care for too long, it will provide you with distraction when he’s away, and you won’t get too lonely or bored (not to talk of getting out of the house and risk seeing “Have you seen this dog?” posters all around the town)

No, you’re too preoccupied to venture out, especially when it’s a nice, plump puppy he got you! It’s almost like you’re practicing to be a mom...

You look so sweet when playing with the dog, sending König pics and videos of you with the pup, teaching it to do tricks and stuff. It licks your face, and you squeeze your eyes shut and giggle from joy, and König doesn’t even get jealous. At least, not too much... Surprisingly, he’s very pleased with his decision to get a pet for you. Yes, he has the ability to make you very happy... Clearly, you couldn’t get a better man: he takes care of all of your needs!

And everything’s nice and peaceful until you go out with him. König gets annoyed easily, if someone pays attention to you at the store for example, it’s always a hassle because he has to constantly scare away potential harassers and perverts, filthy men checking out your breasts and ass, eyes lingering a bit too long on your pretty face. Smashes his hand against a wall or goes to stand menacingly not three inches away from these poor guys who had the audacity to take a short glance at you.

It's not a good idea to doll up and go to a restaurant with him, there would be a WW3 before you got to the main course… And heaven forbid if he catches you smiling at a man! (meaning, being polite to the cashier/waiter) König won’t kill anyone while you're watching, he would never upset you with mindless violence, but tires will be slashed and throats might get cut before the evening is done…

And he would never, ever hurt you. It’s just that König always jokes about kidnapping you, ever since you started dating him. And this time, when he's about to leave for work, you find that your key has gone missing… You already moved in with him, a bit too quickly, your friends warned, so now you’re stuck in a big gloomy house with a dog and a big pile of dirty laundry.

Yes, it’s too bad that you can’t leave the place now when he’s away and there's no extra key, but don’t worry, he got you plenty of groceries! And there's a silly puppy keeping you company, isn’t it nice? He has a big home theater and terabytes of pirated movies and shows to choose from, what more could you ask for? He’ll call you every chance he gets ❤️ Don’t forget to send pictures ❤️