#AND NOW IM GOING N U T S

[tanjir0se]

Ok listen LISTEN I know I JUST said that I’m not a huge demon!Rengoku fan because I feel like it walks all over his character arc.. but BUT that was before I considered Rengoku coming back but coming back wrong…showing up at Giyu’s door because he didn’t know what else to do and Giyu knows immediately what’s happened but Rengoku doesn’t and Giyu’s hand immediately reaches for his sword until Rengoku looks up and his eyes are so different but so the same and Giyu just can’t do it and he drops the sword and

[deus-ex-mona]

real talk: lxl should continue to explore romance fantasy concepts in their songs. it’s clearly working for them~

[koushirouizumi]

{Shaman King} ~ Yoh Asakura & (Aspec!/Demiromantic Queer!) Manta Oyamada + "At the Beginning" {+{Minimal} Anna as Support) (near very End)}

By Me {Do Not Reproduce/Re-upload my AMVs/Video Edits Without my Permission Under Any Circumstances} Music (C) D o n n a L e w i s & R i c h a r d M a r x A N A S T A S I A (C) FOX/D O N B L U T H

[hyah-lian]

ah shit I wanna go on the swings now

[goldentigerfestival]

if there is one thing i will never recover from with crestoria's crossover being gone for good, it's that we'll never ever know the story behind transgressor yuri.

if there are two things i will never recover from with crestoria's crossover being gone for good, it's that leon and aegis' loyal friendship will never ever return.

[kipaia]

Got confirmation that my graphics card is a total bust

[utsugyo]

ANYWAYS, wrong blog but, as I was re-reading the manga, I noticed that s.asori didn't even use his 298 human puppets in the fight against c.hiyo and s.akura, he only used 100, that is taking only the manga into consideration where its noticeable that he still has 2 scrolls left to use attached to his back, and assuming each of the last 3 scrolls contain 100 puppets each /as the one he released was the one from where he summoned the 100 puppets he used in the fight/ (the last scroll would only be missing two puppets to complete the last hundred which would have been c.hiyo and s.akura probably) and this paired up with the fact that he could have avoided the final attack by the mother and father puppets makes me think that he really wasn't giving up his full potential (which is something that lit chiyo says) but it just makes me think that there's even more details to add to that reasoning;; now the reasons why he just basically let himself be k.illed can be argued, but one thing for sure is that he definitely had more tricks under his sleeve that he just willingly decided not to use (be it out of pride/underestimating his opponents, or something leaning on the very small bit of humanity left on him & the reason he is an 'incomplete' puppet in the poetical sense)

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

I FINALLY HAVE SOME FREE TIME (it's not really free time I need to practice for a huge callback) AND EVERY DAY THAT I'VE SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN HOME ALONE SOMEONE ELSE IS HERE

[lapeaudelamemoire]

I'm genuinely angry about the way things have gone about Tumblr. I just went on the Tumblr merch blog and every single fucking post has replies and notes of people literally going 'Lol stop posting nobody is buying your stuff' or 'Lol so cringe' or 'Lol as if I'd pay money for this overpriced shit' and like. This was for instance on a post of sweatpants for $55.

I fucking hate USians and hypocrites like that. You do not know the cost or the price of anything. You always see people say things like compensate the artist and then they will expect $20 sweatpants. Like. Fair enough if you think something is expensive, and fair enough if you decide that it's too expensive for you and you're not going to buy it. But why is that any different from going on fucking Etsy or whatever and messaging a shop owner to tell them that their things are overpriced? People are always talking about 'ethical' and 'sustainable' and being underpaid and then you will turn around and say $55 for sweatpants is too much.

I paid $92 AUD for my sweatpants from an Indigenous clothing brand here. Regular retail price is $120 AUD but I got them on sale. Is that expensive? Yes, I do think that is expensive. But does that price reflect the fair wage of minimum $25/hour here? Yeah, probably!

Sweatpants can only be $25 if they are literally made in a sweatshop, most likely. Do I also love a cheap thing? Yes, absolutely. But other people also need to make money to fucking eat and live. What the fuck. Also, those people who are being immensely underpaid are almost always non-USians in ""undeveloped"" countries, aka countries that have been plundered and continue to be pillaged by colonialism and imperialism that nowadays comes hugely from the fucking 'US'. You are literally profiting off exploitation.

And the merch was literally explicitly transparently, yes, about trying to make some fucking money to turn a fucking profit to keep this fucking site going.

And users fucking laughed in their faces and taunted them about it *while using the fucking site*.

Like yeah staff isn't perfect and there are grounds that censorship and some problematic things may be going on but people really don't understand or are not aware of the logic or wisdom of not offending the person who serves you and who could literally spit in your food or tamper with it even, huh. People provide you with something and yeah there are some Issues but like bullying staff really seems to be a past-time and specific and purposeful here. This is of course also the website where author John Green was bullied off the entire platform.

I'm so fucking sick of it. It reeks of white entitlement and """individualism""". It only matters when it's you who's getting bullied or underpaid. If you made a thing and spent time developing it and put it out into circulation and people went at you like "Lol hahahah what a shit product wtf you seriously think people are gonna pay good money for this? Get real" you would cry about it. But when it's someone else or someone who, g-d forbid, works a job at a company to get some money to fucking survive, just like you, you do that exact thing to them. 'Ha-ha everything should be free for me uwu' and don't expect to pay for a service even when the company is transparently losing money and has been for years.

People literally profit off Tumblr by getting to come on here, interact with others, make posts, have pictures and whatever on their entire blog hosted, using the site, and simply expect it to be magically free forever? If this were a 'small indie bzniz' people would be frothing at the mouth and calling this theft.

It's so stunningly short-sighted if not outright stupid to play 'Haha why don't you send me, a long-time 12-year user who has not paid anything in all my 12-years of usage and now still refuses to shell out even a cent despite you trying to keep this platform that I am using afloat, a $55 piece of merch for ~exposure~ to my followers'. Which was basically something someone said. "Lol why don't you send me this for free as a long-time user who's been here for 12 years and I can give you exposure lol". For real?

And then of course people bullying Tumblr merch for being 'cringe'.

Get. The fuck. Off the site. If you find it so cringe. And stop using it. Then.

Cunts.

[am-weird]

᲼

[deus-ex-mona]

i miss her…

[koushirouizumi]

Katekyō Hitman Reborn! + Ep. #180 ~ Yamamoto & Tsuna {YamaTsuna} / 8027 + Moments & Interactions + Important Dialogues {Anime Ver.} + Character Development Parallels - Tsuna's Character Development{s}

"I put unnecessary 'Pressure' on you without realizing it..." - Tsuna, Initially

{"...I want you to stop."} - Tsuna, Later

Happy belated Birthday, Yamamoto! {Apr. 24th}

{Gifs by Me} {Do Not Re-post} {Do Not Re-produce Without My Permission} (Please ASK to Use)

[arminsumi]

DIRTY TALK.

fem / afab reader

NOTE: just trying smth out... a dialogue-only smut scene from ur fave. it's literally just the script of what your fave is saying lmk know what u think :) it was fun to write and very satisfying bc i am a huge lover of dirty talk writing. anyways it was written with armin/gojo in mind but the char is ambiguous, you can insert anyone

🔞 mdni / 18+ content

SUMMARY — diaolgue/script of your fave's dirty talk

WARNINGS — smut, dialogue-only

WARNINGS — pls ignore errors i wrote this over maths homework, dialogue-only smut, dirty talk, unprotected sex, he's super horny, soft dom, creampie, daddy kink, breeding kink, aftercare, slight size kink, "good girl" used, "slvt" used, "baby" used, pre-established relationship, playing with ur clvt, 2x orgasm (reader), laughing when he cums, implied overstim, lmk if i have missed a warning thank u, i'm sure it's fem reader implied but i wasn't too sure so idk lol it's 1 am im going to bed

WORDCOUNT ≈ 750

🍒 𝐉𝐚𝐲 ⋅ 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 !

"God, I'm so fucking horny, baby. Spread those legs 'n let me use that pretty pussy, 'there we go. Here, put your legs on my shoulders. I've got you. Fuck look at that perfect pussy, all wet 'n ready for me — yeah? All for me? Just for daddy? Gonna let me stretch you out? Good, good girl. Breathe deep while I just s-slide the tip in. Oh fuck. Y-you're so fucking tight today, t-tighter than usual — fuck me — oh you're gonna make me cum so fast, haha. Loosen up a bit for me. Thank you baby, fuuuck let me slide it in, just like that. You're so perfect. Look at that... look how we fit together. Our bodies were made for each other, don't you think? Yeah? Oh fuck, don't clench up yet, loosen for me again. Fuck. That feels so fucking good — ahah — I'm not laughing at you, baby, j-just can't believe how good it feels to — fuck — ahhhuh — yeah that's a perfect little slut, just take daddy's cock like you're meant to."

"Gonna spell your name on this dick, baby? Yeah? Cream and cum all over it? Oh, fuck, can't wait to make you cum again and again and a-again — yesyesyes — fuck that's so good, when you tighten 'round my length like that. Feels like your cunt is sucking on my cock, 's so fucking good. Baby! Fuck, hold onto my arms if you need to. Oh, nasty slut moaning already? That's okay, you can let it out. Moan all you need to — moan into my ear while I fuck this little hole loose. Haha, are you gonna cum already? That's okay, you can cum. Play with that little clit — so cute. Faster, play with it faster. I wanna see you go numb on my fucking cock. Yeah? What is it? Oh this spot? You want me to fuck this spot? Right here? F-fuck, right here, baby? Yeah that feels so fucking good, doesn't it? Ooh, baby cum for me. Cum. Don't worry about a thing, daddy's got you safe in his arms. Let go and get your sweet relief. There we go — oh fuck, haha, there we fucking go. Someone came big time, huh? Look at those legs shaking. Yeah, now daddy wants to cum, too. Got me all fucking worked up. Just gonna take it out for a moment... ah, fuck don't worry baby I'm gonna put it back in. Don't wanna overstimulate you on accident. Huh? Oh? Really? Fuck alright, I'll fuck you up just like you want it, then. Turn around slut, let's give that pussy a good filling then. Oh my god 's fucking tigh-tighter. Shit, makes me wanna fucking bust. Baby? Look into my eyes and tell me how much you love this cock. Fuck. Yeah, again. Say it again. 'Need to hear you say it again, baby. Louder. Fucking louder. Don't care if the neighbours hear you, just need to hear that sweet voice breakingg while I fuck — fuck — baby yes, yes of course I'll cum inside y-you. Are you really sure? You're not on birth control, right? Gonna get that pusssy knocked up if I cum inside. Oh fuck — can you repeat that?! You want my baby? Yeah? Fuck, you want my seed? God, baby, yes, yes fuck I'll give you my fucking babies. I'll make you a mommy. Stay right there, fuck — oh my god I'm close. I'm so fucking close. Gonna fill up that pussy, stuff it so good not a drop spills out. Oh my fuckin' god you're creaming so much, 's this what you've been into all along? Sh-shoulda told me sooner, 'woulda fucked my cum i-into this tight hole — every — fucking — day. Fuck, baby, ahah I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna — oh god, yeah, you gonna cum again? Cum with me. Let me play with that clit. Fuck I'm cumming — I'm cumming — gonna cum so hard 'n knock up that pussy — fuuuck — oh god, fuckfuckfuck ahah — ahaha that's — so — fucking — good — fuck. Holy shit. I came so much... look at all that... aw baby, don't let it drip out; tighten up 'n keep it deep inside. Get pregnant for me. Hm? I love you, too, dumb baby angel. Let's get that pretty pussy cleaned up. Aw, you can't stand up by yourself? Legs too numb, huh? Here, I've got you. I'll massage your legs in the bath. Ah, you're the sweetest. Y'know how cute you sounded begging for my cum? Sorryyy! I like teasing you, you know that!"

© 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄.

[skiiyoomin]

yk ur sending txt horny memes post 😊😊😊 I think u should turn them into drabbles 😊😊😊 have a great day 😊

ღThe aftermath of sending them horny memes

ʚCont: SMUT CONTENT, swearing, reader has female parts (in yeonjun and soobins part!!), cunnilingus, face sitting, blowjob

⤑Back to navigation ⤑The SMAU, Part 2

a/n your mind, its beautiful, i love you. p.s im gonna divide them in 2 posts so its not too long! Part 2 with Taehyun and Hueningkai will come tomorrow!

Yeonjun

His rough hands on your hips and warm tongue intertwining with yours had you going lightheaded with pleasure. A deep groan left his lips from the way your fingers tugged his hair and shot a painful yet pleasurable shudder down his spine.

"Fuck I missed you so much" He moaned between kisses, the feeling making you sigh out in bliss.

"Me too. You were on my mind all day" A possessive surge ran through his body as he slammed his lips back to yours. "Yeah? What was on your mind?"

"How good you make me feel" You giggle, your words slightly slurred. "Though about your tongue all over me, fucking me so good" Your filthy words went straight to his growing erection, making him growl and flip you over so you were on your back.

He didn't waste a second in slipping your clothes off, the fabric feeling far too hot on your heated body. A deep guttural groan resonanted from his throat at the sight of the wet spot in your panties. His lips trailed up your inner thighs until he reached your clothed cunt. It didn´t stop him from pressing his tongue flat against the wet stain, making you yelp and squirm underneath him.

The disruptive fabric was off before you could even begin to process it and your senses were overwhelmed with the hunger Yeonjun ate you out with. His tongue was relentless on your inner lips and the tip of his nose brushing against your clit, eliciting sweet moans from you.

The squelching and slurping from his tongue sounded so filthy yet so arousing to your ears that it had you pushing his head impossibly closer to your sex.

With his tongue moving in and out of your tight hole while his fingers pressed on your hard nub, the knot that was building up in your stomach was quick to snap. Your hips jerked upwards as you rode out your orgasm on his tongue.

If you thought you were going to get a break, you were wrong. His mouth latched onto yours once more, giving you a taste of your sweet essence. "I´m not done with you" He murmured between sloppy kisses as he began to lower his sweatpants. Despite still being sensitive from your previous orgasm, arousal pooled in your cunt immediately.

Soobin

Soobin was convinced this was what even felt like. Your plush thighs were on either side of his head while he stuck his tongue out to press it between your soaking slit. Your hands were tugging his hair, causing a stinging sensation in his scalp that felt so good. And with the way you were rocking your hips, using him to stimulate your pretty cunt, he couldn´t be a happier man.

"Soobin, ooo- shit. Mmmg- doing so good"

Your praise, between those beautiful moans, made his cock twitch. And as painfully hard as he was right now, his sole focus was on you. On licking and sucking your clit like a starved man deprived from your sweetness. He felt like one with how desperately he used his tongue to pull noises out of you.

Despite the aching in jaw he was sure would be sore for a few days, or the breathlessness he felt from inhaling your scent like it´s the only thing he needed in his lungs, he didn´t stop. He couldn´t stop. Not when you were so close.

"Mmm baby oh god m´ gonna cum"

You whine, your voice raising in pitch. He could feel it, the way your plush walls squeezed his tongue as he thrusted it up into you. He could feel how your thighs trembled from the effort you were making in holding yourself straight and not literally suffocate him, not like he´d mind.

His hand that was resting on your hip slid down to press the pad of his thumb on your clit, rubbing fast circles on it. With the vibrations of his moans, he quickly tipped you over the edge. Your body shuddered and shook accompanied by your loud whiny moans.

There was silence for a moment after you moved away from his face, which was soaking wet with your slick. He smiled innocently up at you.

"Round 2?"

"Fuck yeah"

Beomgyu

Technically, he brought this upon himself. Was he going to admit it? Absolutely not. He had way too much pride for that.

Currently, he was on his computer, clicking away on the keyboard while his eyes darted around the game on the screen. But...he wasn´t doing very well because his attention was truly elsewhere.

You were crouched under the desk, your hands on his thighs while your glossy lips wrapped around his cock. How could he concentrate on the game when your head was bobbing up and down his rock hard boner? But he was never going to admit that to you. Not when you had doubted him before and he very cockily shot your doubts down. He would never hear the end of it if he admitted defeat.

He bit down a groan that was threating to spill when your tongue slid around a particularly prominent vein on the underside of his cock. He cursed himself when his hips thrusted into your mouth out of pure instinct. You must definitely know by now how wrapped he is around your finger.

With the way his breathing was picking up and his stomach was clenching, once, twice. You got him where you wanted. The bright red letters of "YOU LOST" popped up on the screen, but Beomgyu wasn´t paying any attention. He placed his hand on the back of your head and forced his cock deeper down your throat. His hips grazed your nose as he picked his speed up, groans and dirty words making you clench your thighs together.

He pulled back when he felt his cock twitch, signaling his impending orgasm. You pushed his hands away to jerk his dick off yourself and lead the spurts of cum into your awaiting open mouth.

"Shiit baby, fuck you´re so good"

You licked the remnants off his tip, swallowing everything greedily. The sight was enough to get his cock hard again. He lifted you off the ground and sat you down on his lap.

"I think you deserve a prize for taking my cock so deep down your throat huh?"

[4unnyr0se]

Morning sex with Kenma and Suna?👀

❥ morning breath | kenma kozume & rintaro suna

warnings: timeskip! kenma and suna, fem! reader, unprotected sex, the pullout method, hickeys, mentions of cunnilingus, suna might be ooc im sorry u guys

MDNI | 18+ content

word count -> 787

a/n: im literally so sorry it took me so long to do this aaaaa :( sorry it's so short

Kenma Kozume

Kenma can usually only have sex in the morning or at night, nothing in between. Sure, he can ask you for a blowjob after he just won a game after his stream ends, but there’s never any penetrative sex. He has things to do, even though he really doesn’t want to do them. So when he wakes up every morning with your plump ass pressed against his boxers, unknowingly grinding against him in your sleep, how can he say no? You’re practically begging for it anyway, sweet thing. 

“Babe,” Kenma gently shakes you awake.

“Hm?” you roll over, barely opening your eyes. “What is it, Kenma?” you lean forward to peck his chapped lips.

“Y’were grinding on me just now, in your sleep,” he whispered, placing his hands on your hips. “You got me all hard, can’t you feel it?” you were now straddling his lap, struggling to stay awake as his erection rubbed against your clothed pussy. “Fucking take care of it, please? I need you,” he was so cute when he whined, especially with his messy hair framing his face so perfectly. How could you ever refuse your cute little boyfriend when his cock was so painfully hard against your thigh?

His boxers were slid down to his ankles, your soaked panties pushed aside. Red and lacy, just like how Kenma liked it. Slowly, you slid down onto his length, your pussy taking him so nicely. Kenma wasn’t that long, but he was girthy and always filled you up so well. Your hips began to roll in tandem with his slowly, Kenma’s hands guiding your hips up and down on his cock.

“That’s it, that’s my girl,” he lazily praised, his eyes not even bothering to open; he already knew how pretty you looked when you were fucking him. He groaned as your tight walls fluttered and clenched around him, trying desperately to pull him impossibly deeper inside of your pussy. You arched your back, your hands palming your breasts from under your (his) t-shirt as you writhed above him, feeling his cock twitch. 

“Are y’gonna cum, baby?” you sighed, scratching your nails down his slim abdomen. Your question was quickly answered. Kenma whimpered, a familiar warm sensation filling your belly as his release covered your insides. 

“Mm, thank you, baby,” Kenma lazily kissed your cheek as you fell right next to him, curling up in his arms. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you off later, I promise.”

Rintaro Suna

Suna fucking loves morning sex because he can cuddle you and get off without doing a lot of work. He’s extra sensitive in the morning and almost always has morning wood, so it became a sort of morning ritual to have cuddle sex when you both wake up.

“That’s it, baby, fuck up against me. Feels amazing,” Suna yawned in your ear, his hands groping your breasts as you ground your soaked cunt against his exposed cock. He hissed as you reached behind you, aligning it with your entrance. “M’gonna fuck you now, okay? Don’ feel like fingering you today, babe. I got practice this afternoon.”

“That’s okay,” you yawned, gasping softly as he pushed himself inside you. Suna was always much more gentle with you during the mornings, and you enjoyed every second of it. He groaned as he bottomed out, his hands squeezing harder on your sensitive breasts. “Always so fucking tight for me. That’s okay, I’ll loosen you up,” he bit down on your ear shell, lazily snapping his hips against your ass.

“Rin!” you yelped, lifting your leg to give him better access. He smirked against the back of your neck, not slowing down his pace. This was as slow as he wanted to go, which was somehow still achingly fast. Not as fast as when he would fuck you at night, but still. “S’fucking hard, s-slow down!”

“Don’t wanna, it’s your fault for getting me all worked up in my dreams,” he slapped your ass, kneading the stinging flesh between his calloused fingers. “Y’were sucking on my cock, but I guess you can do that after breakfast, right?” he bit down on the base of your neck, sucking a hickey in an unusual place that would be sure to raise some eyebrows. 

You clenched around him, feeling his cock twitch. “J-just don’t cum inside, okay? S-still messy from last night.”

“Whatever you want, babe,” Suna muffled his cry of pleasure in your shoulder as he pulled out, pumping his cock to cum all over your ass. The middle blocker left an open-mouth kiss on your cheek, handing you a tissue box. “Clean yourself up. I don’t want to be touching my own cum when you’re sitting on my face.”

[billysgirllol]

"no wonder, cause you're makin' it all about you and not givin' me a SECOND to explain it or talk about my own feelings." she jabbed her finger deep into his chest, that the reason she just froze when that moment happened, a horrible fear of losing him if they became more had taken over in the heat of the moment. was she not allowed to be scared of it? but why does it matter now, he just put a dagger through a once inseparable bond between them himself. "what do you mean you started changin' into a different person a long time ago? what i think... you've just hung around your asshole friends for too long. y'know, jesse and the other useless ones. goin' to detention all the time, getting in trouble. and drinkin' like them, too. now you're even actin' JUST like jesse, too." another thing to dawn on her, that's where he must be getting this ugly attitude from. it seemed so familiar to them.

"yeah, just leavin' your little brother behind too." luckily, he'll still have her and maude ivory to be around. but how awful, he seemed to care less about that factor as well. "that's not what i remember. they weren't just little girl dreams for me. and no, i don't." she gritted her teeth, "i happen to love life the way it is. you make savin' lives of horses sound so pointless, you really are just like jesse now. maybe i still want to take care of horses, be with my family, maybe even be a teacher one day and sing with the covey on the weekends. just because all the mundane things in life are pointless to you now, because you want to act like jesse now, doesn't mean i've changed like you and find everything around me so inferior." what was wrong with wanting a normal life? where did he suddenly develop a stuck up attitude from?

"town's got nothin' to do with it, not a damn thing to do with it. life is what you make it, maybe the problem's just you. suddenly bein' the most cynical person I KNOW." which was more ways that was unlike him, if this is who he wanted to change into, she didn't want to know him anymore anyway. "i did, though!" she blurts. have interest, but that... that made her brain lose all sanity, him accusing her of playing 'GAMES'. "i never played any games, I'M not the phony YOU'VE been all these years. i came over here in the first place to tell you something." that she made her mind up, that she came to apologize for making it seem like she didn't love him back when it was the entire opposite.

"but nevermind all of it since you got no INTEREST in what i have to say, ASSHOLE." repeating what he just said to her a few seconds ago, those asshole words of him shoving off what she had to say. for that she'll never tell him what she was afraid to that night then, since that's what he wishes for. he can just think about it and guess what she was going to for the REST of his life as she bends down to clutch gravels into her palms and throws the pile of small rocks at him. "leave!" it was his land, but she wanted him to get out of her sight before she did worse than throw gravels at his torso and legs. she will do worse. the rage striking through her being and pain made her temples feel like they were going to burst out of her skull as she dug into her yellow sundress pockets, throwing the bracelets she made for him initially as an apology at him next, unclasping the heart locket around her neck that had the picture of them as little kids inside of it to lastly throw because she didn't want it anymore after having it all these years. the person in the picture didn't exist anymore. what good was it? but realized a second later she didn't want him to have the advantage to see her starting to cry as the tears started pouring over tanned cheeks, so lucy gray turned anyway and started running up the long haul back to her home. the same field she'd been running up and down for years, made the tears burn harder and pour faster, suffocation taking over her chest– that this would be the last time she did. everything she'd known was over. the heat lightning and a brewing thunderstorm rumbling in the sky somewhere in the distance while the sun still hung over them was relevant to the storm that was destructing her mind right now. she lost the only person she only ever loved and didn't know if she'd make it all the way home without crying uncontrollably at the loss of her entire life. he was her entire life and it ended so abruptly, how was she supposed to move on and just be the same? she'd never trust another person again.

“oh, yeah? well, i have a hard time believin’ that.” pale blue eyes cold and unforgiving as they peer down at the petite brunette, billy has already managed to convince himself that lucy gray has been playing with him for the past few months — sending conflicting signals, agreeing to go to prom and dancing with him all night only to rip his heart out of his chest and stomp on it hours later. he refuses to play her game, which is why he adds, “i don’t think i’m interested what you have to say. i’ve already made up my mind.” and she’s made up hers, clearly. if he softens again, she’ll take advantage of it and nothing will ever change. he’ll be stuck in this state of unrequited love for the rest of his life. he can’t let that happen. “a stick up my behind? honestly, lucy gray? this town is suffocating. it’s been sucking the life out of me for years. call that whatever you want, but i am tired in more ways than one and can’t wait to leave it all behind.” there’s a lucy gray shaped crater in his heart, the wound that’s still fresh and bleeding, but he has to try and move on with his life if he wants it to heal eventually. in order to do that, he needs to cut all ties to her and their shared past. in this town, there’s something that reminds him of her on every corner. new york city is different. lucy gray’s ghost won’t find him there. “i didn’t become a different person overnight. it was a process, a long one, but i didn’t feel like i could talk to you about any of it because you wouldn’t understand,” he says bluntly, holding her gaze even if he’s not being entirely honest with her or himself for that matter.

“i’m leaving the horses in good hands. joe,” his little brother, “loves them. he’ll make sure they have everything they need and more. and you?” an involuntary snort escapes his nostrils atthe audacity of that statement. billy cocks his head to the side, shakes it and offers the other a puzzled look. “last time i checked you didn’t want me so… i loved you, lucy gray. all those years i’d loved you. you were my everything. you’ll never be nothing to me.” but that kiss in the driveway was enough to convince him that she’d never felt the same about him. he gently touches her fists, large palms engulfing her smaller ones, peeling them off his shirt but not letting go just yet. a part of him, some very masochistic part, wants to remember the way her skin feels on his, the smell of her hair, the color of her eyes. “but i don’t want to be a farmer and rehab horses. those were just little boy dreams. i want more from life, don’t you?” he asks, genuinely thinking she’s wasting her talents in this place when she could be out there, sharing them with the world.

“yeah, it is. i was heartbroken in that driveway, but i can finally see that you did us both a huge favor.” it tears him to pieces to utter these words, but he reminds himself that he has no choice now — he has to say it. otherwise, she’ll always haunt him and he’ll wonder what could have been had he only stayed in this small town of theirs. “i’m not angry, lucy gray. i only wish you’d told me sooner that you weren’t interested. it almost feels like all this was just a game to you…” tears well up in his own eyes, a pavlovian reaction, his body’s trained itself to mirror her emotions. he looks up toward the bright blue sky, but it doesn’t really help. his insides coiling when she calls him hers. “look, i’ll — i’ll visit, okay? and if you’re ever in new york, you’ll always have a place to crash. i might even give you a tour. but it’s better this way so, please, don’t make it harder on both of us.” he lets go of her hands then, his own shaking and so he puts them in his pockets, standing awkwardly and fighting back tears.