#AND NOW AM JUST LIKE ‘FUCK WHAT THE HELL JAMES U CANT JUST SAY SHIT?’

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

The Todd in Shadows video on Somerton makes me SO much angrier than Hbomberguy’s SOLELY b/c while Hbomb’s covers the terrible impact of his plagiarism and its terrible, Todd’s has more actual clips of Somerton’s stupid stupid condescending cadence where he’s just SMUGLY LYING about all sorts of bullshit that’s usually extremely self-congratulatory OR misogynistic and it makes me want to fuckin vomit.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

no

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[khaleesiofalicante]

HI, IT'S ME! YOUR LOCAL CHAOTIC WEIRDO!!!!! I'M BACK AGAIN LIKE I AM TWICE EVERY WEEK

IT'S MY BOY DAVID THIS TIME! WHY AM I SO HYPER! MAYBE BECAUSE THEY KISSED! AND I HAD TO SUPPRESS MY SCREAMS BCAUSE IM IN CLASS AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS OUTSIDE MY DOOR (NOT LITERALLY OFC)

OK OK OK OK OK OK

MAX AND DAVID ARE AT THE LONDON INSTITUTE YESYESYESYES

He rather liked that part in a story – when the hero fell, and everything seemed bleak. It always meant that hope was just around the corner. Because darkness never lasted. It was always followed by light. There was nothing more beautiful than that kind of sunrise.

THIS

I literally live my life by this analogy

AHHH DAVID IS ON HIS TRAVEL YEAR AND MAX IS WITH HIM

SCREAM

well i can't scream because my mom is sitting right there and I have class in 4 minutes so imma smile really wide

“Are you planning to read the entire library during your travel year?” Max chuckled.

“Of course not,” David replied. “I will need longer than a year to accomplish that goal.”

Me.

Wait

does max not being able to make portals have something to do with his lineage?

like

demon parent

ok so my programming class started 2 minutes early but screw programming I'm gonna be studying minds not this shit

ok that's a very bad attitude for someone who needs good grades in this year

Max was always hungry.

this is so me

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

TY

THEY MENTIONED TY

also if David doesn't become an institute head in the future THEN WHAT'S THE POINT

“Where is the kitchen?” Max interrupted.

max is such a mood

He had told Max that he had centuries to perfect his magic, that there was no need to rush it. Max had given him a noncommittal nod and nothing more.

HE'S GONNA MAKE THE BEST PORTALS YOU'LL SEE

“I won’t tell the Consul,” Kit winked.

At the mention of the Consul, David straightened up. He had been trying to get into Alec Lightwood’s good graces for years now. He didn’t think sharing a room with his son would do him any favors.

DAVID UDUCDFUHKDUHVUHSDH

PLEASE IF WE DON'T GET A CUTE ALEC AND DAVID SCENE SOON

KIT CALLED TESSA MOM

oh my god

Word was that Mr. Herondale had gone back to his obsession with brewing tea.

JACE

I have so many emotions right now but all I'm gonna say is that I'm so so proud of Rafael

“Do you not want to sleep with me?” Max asked.

UH-

WELL-

DAVID STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE AND ALL THE SHIT

STOP IT

OH MY GOD THE ONE BED TROPE

MAX IS IN HIS ARMS I'M ABOUT TO-

takes a deep breath don't scream. everyone outside this door thinks you're taking programming class

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY

AWW JULIAN PAINTED PORTRAITS FOR THE INSTITUTE

The one of Will Herondale and Tessa Gray – A love that had transcended reality and lasted a lifetime.

The one of James Herondale and Cordelia Carstairs – A love that had started with a lie and then blossomed into nothing but happiness and devotion.

The one of Lucie Herondale and Jesse Blackthorn – A love that had been so powerful that it rewrote the past.

The one of Jace Herondale and Clary Fairchild – A love that had walked through hell and shaken up the heavens.

And then there the final one. The one of Kit Herondale and Tiberius Blackthorn – A love that had survived distance and darkness and doom.

This omg...

He wanted a love story. The kind he read in the books. The kind he saw in these portraits.

But he wasn’t a Herondale. He wasn’t sure if he was destined for that kind of love.

HEY

DON'T THINK LIKE THAT

The first part though

same

He might have been a little too excited. It was biologically impossible to control yourself when you find a stranger reading your favorite book in the whole world.

SO TRUE

“I see you already made a new friend,” Max said.

He sounded a little…odd. As if he was not pleased that David had made a new friend.

honey...

take a guess

can I jump in and bash their heads together?

“You are thinking of conjuring chocolate syrup, aren’t you?” David chuckled.

“How do you always know what’s on my mind?” Max chuckled back.

Because I know you, David wanted to say. I just wish I knew what’s in your heart too.

OH MY GOD I CANT WITH THIS

“You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup!” Max was yelling, standing on the chair.

They residents laughed harder, and David shook his head fondly. He hoped one day Max would pursue a career in theatre. He was a born showman.

can I have chocolate syrup?

also, the way David is just so fond of him like DYUSDGYJCDYUJM

“By the angel, do you have to be a drama queen about everything?” the boy next to them muttered – not so quietly.

David blinked. That was uncalled for.

But Max being Max was completely unfazed. “Of course I do. My Bapa would be personally offended otherwise.”

exactly you rude little shit

Max often pretended like people’s words didn’t hurt him - just as he pretend that fire doesn’t burn or wounds don’t bleed.

wow ok stop calling me out

Is max jealous??????

is he??????

how are people so good at languages like damn

TY

TY

TY

TY

“Oh my god,” Max groaned. “Is he already telling people to check on me?”

LMAO

using mundane medicine...

that's risky

but it's also something that WILL help

can't warlocks tamper with the blood samples?

A part of him wondered if that’s why he had agreed to send Max away to London – at least for a week. Because sometimes you didn’t want other people to see you were hurting.

alec I really goddamn hope you're dealing with this well

some of whom had even decided to die than get help from a warlock.

alright then gets my knives but you chose this :D

Nobody brought a book down for breakfast if they didn't like to read.

yes but sometimes also to seem busy so people won't bother you or you won't look alone.

“I know,” the boy said as he walked past them to the gate. “I sat on the stairs and thought about life for a few good minutes.”

his family is the one who took over David's previous institute (i can't spell that. marse- marselli- wat??) methinks.

The gang always visited whenever all of them were in the city together. They would have so much fun! Of course, the 'fun' mostly entailed Rafael stopping Georgia from drinking random potions she found in the stalls, Selena stopping Lexi from opening a psychic booth to help people talk to Raziel and of course David stopping Max from running to the gambling booths.

LMAO, I CANT WITH THIS-

Rafe: I am anxiety.

me at any given moment

EW TESTICLES HE'S EATING THOSE-

ok maybe I'm the only person who's really picky when it comes to food and doesn't eat the majority of things

“Anything on Magnus Bane?” Max asked.

“No,” the woman snapped and shoved some of the letters into a bag and hide it under the table. “Leave Magnus Bane alone!”

“Appreciate your loyalty,” Max winked at her and started examining a diary.

I like her.

"Everyone should be participating in this" -my programming teacher

me, an intellectual: participating in what?? goes to the class web THE FUCK IS THAT

“Something for the shadowhunter?” the woman smiled. “Perhaps an unpublished snippet from the Beautiful Cordelia?”

“Do you have any love letters?” David asked.

“Hmmm,” the woman went through the pages. “I do have a correspondence between an Iblis demon and Christopher Lightwood? Would you be interested in that?”

if u don't mind I would love to see both of those-

you know I just remembered I have a computer assignment I need to submit by the end of this week fml

“Never fall in love with an immortal,” she giggled again. “We don’t like staying in one place.”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

MAX WHERE ARE YOU

why are we using x and 3 in programming class what the heck is going on

“I’m not just some warlock,” Max said, his voice low. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

GIVE HIM THAT NECKLACE BACK

we usually have programming once a week on our physical school days and those are fun because my and my friend are continuously passing notes and talking to each other through writing

The scene where Max fought off all the evil people who tried to steal his valuable belonging. He would fight without breaking a sweat and throw magic fireballs at everyone and then get his necklace back. And then he would kiss David in front of everyone and it would somehow rain all of a sudden.

But life wasn’t a movie or a book. Life was just life.

life's boring

fuck life

I just heard a student ask "why are we not taking out the values of b and c" BESTIE I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING PROGRAMMING AND NOT ALGEBRA?????

“I know there wasn’t anyone to protect you before,” Magnus Bane had said. “But we are here now. We will protect you. This will protect you.”

He hadn’t wanted it back then. He didn't even want it even now.

He didn’t want something to protect him. Most importantly, he didn’t want to cover his scar. He didn’t want to hide it. He wasn’t ashamed of it. It wasn’t a mark of a victim. It was the mark of a survivor.

So, David had smiled and given the bracelet back.

“I never wanted to be protected,” David had replied. “I only ever wanted to be loved.”

The warlock had smiled at that and given David a hug. It had felt different than other hugs he had experienced since he had come to New York.

It wasn’t just the magic. Magnus Bane carried so much love inside himself you could literally feel it through him.

I'm gonna cry during my programming class (where we're doing variables apparently all of a sudden??)

this is so beautiful

“I wasn’t talking about Bapa,” Max said now. “I was talking about the other one.”

David chuckled at that. “Oh, yeah. He is definitely going to kill you.”

what flowers would you like at your funeral?

so Jackson has family troubles

I've definitely got that

yeah I know what it's like to be jealous of someone else's perfect family

JACKSON WTF

Is he trying to ruin max's relationship with his family???

oh hell no

JACKSON THE AUDACITY

“One stolen necklace, One broken nose and One bruised cheek,” he said. “And you’ve been in London for less than a day.”

kit seriously? but is he wrong though?

“This is what I get for falling for a Lightwood-Bane,” David sighed and walked through the portal.

WELL AT LEAST HE'S SELF AWARE

Jackson...

in some ways, I can empathize with him. my younger self anyway. but Jackson this is not how you do things

There was a moment of silence and then Magnus Bane giggled.

“I do love it when the quiet ones go feral,” the warlock grinned.

MAGNUS

NOT.THE.TIME

(me too)

“David!” Mr Herondale gasped. “Is your hand okay?”

yup that's Jace y'all

David hated violence. He hated fighting – which he was often not allowed to say out loud considering he was a shadowhunter.

But it was the truth. He hated hurting people – or even things. It made him feel sick.

“It’s alright, Chouchou,” Mr Herondale ran a hand through David’s hair. “Next time, just-”

“Use my words?” David asked.

“Just don’t get caught,” the man winked.

and that is why I would never want to be a shadowhunter.

I know saying that doesn't do anything but when I first read tsc I wanted to be a shadowhunter really badly and damn that was some time ago but now...violence of any kind is my biggest trigger idek why. and I hate that so much because what kind of a person gets triggered by loud voices and fighting EVEN ON SCREEN??? I usually just push myself to watch stuff because it's dumb. I refuse to see trigger warnings before reading a book or watching a show because damn it, I should be able to stand those things I'm, not a child. and it may be doing me more harm than good but I shouldn't feel like this in the first place

okay...that was long

ANYWAY

“David, I appreciate you standing up for Max,” the Consul said. “But next time, please try not to punch anyone in the face.”

“Yes, sir,” David nodded. “Because it’s wrong.”

“Because it means more paperwork for me,” the Consul groaned and then straightened up. “But yes. Absolutely. Very wrong. No punching people!”

LMAO ALEC

Jackson...

oh

oh

oh

I was wrong then

He was grinning. Magnus Bane must have raised hell in the shadow market.

that must have been fun

Max was doing that thing where he was not trying to pout but he was mostly definitely pouting. It made David want to kiss him. But then the Consul spoke, and David reminded himself he didn’t want to be the third person to get punched in the face this evening.

well-

“I understand that Jackson has been through a lot. But that’s not an excuse for him to hurt those around him. I learned that lesson the hard way. So, you shouldn’t excuse his behaviour.”

someone's trauma and pain is never an excuse to hurt others

but that doesn't mean we should invalidate their trauma either

“You can stay back and try to help him. I won’t stop you,” the man got up now. “But if he tries to hurt you-”

“You will unleash hell?” David chuckled.

“Worse,” the other man grinned. “I will unleash Lexi.”

that is much much worse

Books brought him comfort in so many ways. Just holding one in his hands automatically made him feel better.

oh my god

he gets it

I always have a book with me when I'm out even if I'm not gonna get the time to read it because just the weight and comfort of it in my hands or in my backpack brings me so much comfort and helps with my social anxiety so much

no one understands when I try to tell them that

you get it...

someone gets it finally

AYYY IRENE

“David, it’s very sweet that you want to protect Jackson,” Kit pointed out. “But literally no one is buying that. Not even Irene.”

The lynx purred on his lap as if she agreed with Kit.

“I could break into a liquor cabinet,” David said a little indignantly.

David is the nicest you can get

David wouldn’t. Apparently, everyone already seemed to know that - even the lynx he had met five minutes ago.

we are solving something in class and it's really quiet because we're all doing our work (I'm reading the fic so-) and this one person had their mic open and they kept on whispering their steps and it was so weird I cant-

BUT YES DAVID IS A CINNAMON ROLL. EVEN THE LYNX KNOWS

“We were talking about shitty fathers,” Jackson pointed out. “You’re welcome to stay.”

“I’m gonna need something stronger than red wine for this conversation,” Kit chuckled.

I remember that bitch

David used to do it when he was a child. He used to pretend his life was a story. He used to pretend everything that happened to him was happening to some other boy – a boy who wasn’t real. A boy who lived inside a book. Because it hurt a little less when you pretend like it wasn’t happening to you.

But the pain was still very real.

OK YOU CAN STOP CALLING ME OUT NOW

“I fucking hate ogres,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Was your father an ogre too?” Jackson asked.

“He was more like a harpy,” Kit snorted. “He was always flying and fleeing. I didn’t know how deep his talons were in my head until it was too late.”

you really like traumatizing all your characters, don't you?

I really fucking hope the ogre got what he deserved

and if the angel is dead then fuck everyone

“I mean, there was that time when Sebastian Morgenstern turned my father into the endarkened, and then he went around killing people. So, I would say he was more like a zombie,” the man was explaining now. “The zombie father tried to kill me but my brother killed him first.”

“Good lord!” Jackson said in shock.

Kit chuckled softly. “Boy do shadowhunters need therapy.”

they really do

He knew about those from New York. He knew Mr Herondale and Miss Fairchild went for one together.

YES GET THEM THERAPY

“Yikes,” Kit chuckled. “I’d prefer something classier. How about London Boys?”

“None of us are from London though,” Tiberius pointed out.

“The Beatles are not actually beetles, Ty,” Kit chuckled. “It’s just for pizazz.”

damn guys

Then the idea of a band turned into a possible YouTube channel where they would react to cute animal videos.

YS DO IT

“When people do awful things, really awful things, at one point we stop being surprised. Like what Valentine did to his children or what our fathers did to us or what those women did to Rafael. We might have been shocked or disgusted. But it wasn’t unrealistic, was it?”

“I guess not,” the boy said.

“Even when they did the most unimaginable acts of cruelty, it somehow managed to fit into our imagination. We accepted that the world can be unrealistically cruel. The kind of cruelty we will never understand. But why isn’t it the same for kindness? Why is that when someone is too kind, we automatically feel uncomfortable? We judge their intensions or think they are just pretending to be nice. We think they are being unrealistic. Why is that?”

we get so used to cruelty that kindness feels weird

“But that’s how our life works, doesn’t it? It’s a giant ball of what ifs and could have beens and if nots. What if my father had loved me instead of hurt me? Could I have been kinder if I was hugged instead of being abused? Would have I been a different person if not for my trauma? Our lives are an endless collection of theories about our real selves. The one didn’t we never had the chance to become.”

THIS

I used to spend a bunch of time on the what-ifs but those are useless. so screw the what-ifs and live in the present

“I guess we’ll never know, Jackson. None of us will never know how we would have turned out if things had been different for us. We never got the chance to be who were meant to be. Instead, we became who we had to become to survive what we went through. We will never know our true selves. We only know the version of us that made it through all the trauma.”

“Christ, that’s depressing,” Jackson said.

“It is,” David nodded. “But we made it through. We survived. I think we should focus on that.”

you survived. that's what matters

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued,” David smiled.

I wish I had heard this before...

maybe I don't always have to be strong. maybe it's ok sometimes just want to be saved.

I'm so happy that both Jackson and David found each other

David had learned Gaelic. Jackson had learned how to play the piano.

They had laughed and lived and loved and learned.

And they had survived – one day at a time. The London Boys.

they survived.

I know I'm always key smashing and screaming but these words, these lines, all these chapters mean so so much to me.

“You’ll write to me, won’t you?” David asked, hugging Jackson closely.

“No,” Jackson replied. “I will FaceTime you like a normal person, you weirdo!”

David laughed at that. “I prefer letters. They are more emotional.”

“I’ll text you,” Jackson countered. “With emojis.”

oh to have someone write me letters.

I love writing letters

once at the end of a school year, I wrote little letters to everyone in my class anonymously. even the people who had been mean to me. that was like 1-2 years after my transfer to that school and everyone practically hated me but I wanted to do something nice because who knows what someone is going through. I ended up not putting them in people's desks...

I threw them all away :)

but writing letters is superior

I often write my feelings down and give the letter to someone rather than talk to someone

if you receive a letter from me or a custom-made gift...you have reached my ultimate friendship

oh my god. THIS IS HOW I SHOULD TALK TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY FEELINGS

It's kind of been a mess between us and I want to talk to her but I didn't know how to.

this is why i shouldn't send asks-

JACKSON CATCHING UP ON MAX AND DAVID

“You know what it means,” Jackson grinned harder. “Also, if that wanker tries to break your heart, I will break his face.”

“You know he is the Consul’s son?” David giggled.

“I’ve done it once and I will do it again,” Jackson shrugged. “He better treat you right.”

"wanker"

I HAVE A BRITISH ONLINE FRIEND AND THEY CALLED OUR AMERICAN ONLINE FRIEND A WANKER

AND OUR OTHER BRITISH FRIEND JOINED IN

WHILE ALL THE NON-BRITISH PEOPLE WERE LIKE "huh"

Lexi had cut her hair even shorter. Her girlfriend apparently got something called an undercut.

“Just in case someone dared to assume we were straight,” she had winked at him.

how many years has this fake dating been going on...

CENTURION SELENA

fterA the twins went to bed, David stepped out of the institute and went looking for his heart.

"went looking for his heart"

OH FUCK I FORGOT TO JOIN MY CLASS

MAX STOP DEPLETING YOUR SELF GODDAMN

And then somewhere along the way, Max’s heartbeat had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

Max, with all his chaos and drama and danger, had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

oh my god that's a parallel from canon

“Tell me why.”

“Ain't nothing but a heart break!!"

Max-

Max could make fireballs that killed demons on the spot. He could summon things from anywhere. He could heal people with his eyes closed. He was one of the youngest warlocks allowed to visit the spiral labyrinth.

Max was a warlock in every sense. A good one. A great one even.

he is so talented...

Only idiots would underestimate Magnus Bane’s power.

EXACTLY

He is probably going to be Consul like next week.”

David chuckled. “Next week?”

next week????

“Yeah, his smoking habits,” Max rolled his eyes.

Rafael wasn’t the smoker in the family. He knew who it was, but David would never open his mouth. It wasn’t his secret to tell.

this keeps on getting better

“It’s my hair!” David laughed.

“And you’re my David!” Max argued. “I say you are not allowed to grow your hair.”

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

“I don’t want to downworld-splain it to you.”

Max blinked and then laughed. “You don’t want to what?”

“Downworld-splain,” David mumbled. “It’s when shadowhunters explain downworlders how to be downworlders.”

they were SO close to kissing

I'm gonna get in there and lock them in a closet together and tell them to FUCKING GET WITH IT

Remember who you are. Remember where you stand.

remember who you are. remember where you stand...

I know this is supposed to be about portals.

OH MY GOD THEY KISSED

THEY KISSED

IM SO CLOSE TO SCREAMING CLASS AND EVERYONE OUTSIDE THIS ROOM BE DAMNED

OH MY GOD DAVID FELL

reminds me of when alec fell down the stairs-

OH MY GOD I'M GONNA SCREAM

WE'RE GONNA GET MORE MAVID CONTENT SOON I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY UYDRVFY7VSDU7UYVFSDUYGCADUYIGJCDSHJKGDVCSUGISDVHVF

ok, I have a computer assignment to get to and tests to study for. BUT I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO MUCH!! THEY FINALLY KISSED I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!

Also I know I tend to go off track and you can totally ignore that. i just go crazy. BYEE

This live blog gives me so much life you don't even know. I am go glad you enjoyed the chapter. I love hearing you rant about it. It's refreshing lol.

And I looooooove the lil anecdotes you share in between. Also wtf is a programming class like nobody wants to learn programme what kind of hetero nonsense I-

FINISH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS AND STUDY FOR YOUR TESTS I'LL SEE YOU SOON :)

[shinymooncolor]

Hi!

So - had two prompts that I’ve combined into this chat!

As always @lumosinlove is the mastermind of this wonderful fandom. 💖

I want to thank you all! Over 20 snippets and chats now. You guys are absolutely incredible and I can’t believe the feedback and love and good vibes I get from you. Thank you! I’m all done with prompts except for one which is the next chat - so I’ll be open for your ideas 😍

@frombeauxbatons and @canesinthecrease just because you inspire me ❤️

The boys are being naughty at a team event. Don’t worry. Consent was given on all accounts - they’re good boys! But they’re also a bunch of frat boys with muscles.

Remus plans a prank. He blames dumo and James. Nado organizes. Sergei wins. Timmy loses. Dumo is a prankster too. Olli is sneaky. Sirius is not in on the prank. Kuny is Kuny. Nat is amazing. Kris is an ally. Nado is also the team’s phoebe. (Friends reference)

Sweater weather chat #14

——

Saturday 5.22 pm

Nado created a group chat.

Nado named the group chat THE BIG LIONS HEIST 2020.

Nado added James, Remus, Dumo

Nado: hey Re. Remember the plan? We need to get all the boys to take the selfie before he notices

Remus: Nado. We’ve gone over this multiple times. I’ll get the phone from Sirius. I still think this is a disaster but you and James are very convincing

James: it’s a fucking awesome plan. He won’t notice I bet

Nado: also extra points if you get him all worked up😂

James: I don’t wanna spend an entire evening looking at Sirius trying to hide a hard-on

Nado: why not? It’s funny 😂

Dumo: why did remus get the easiest job?

Remus: I’m the only one who gets to put my hands in Sirius’ pocket.

Nado: awwww jealous?? You know we see him naked like several times a day?

Dumo: you’re not supposed to look.

Nado: I’m curious about the human body!

James: well we’ve all had sneak peaks. Still scared of Sergei

Dumo: he should hAve a tramp stamp saying heavy machinery

Nado: lets get him drunk!!!! Brady can ink him!!!!

Remus: you are not inking anyone without their consent. Also; have you met his wife? She’d skin you all alive.

Dumo: she would. I’ve seen her make a reporter cry.

James: why?

Dumo: the reporter insinuated things about Kuny. Not sure what he said but based on the cursing and sunny having to physically restrain her I think it was bad

Nado: yikes anyways we got everyone on board. I’ll kick cap out the group chat once you’ve swiped the phone. Now go get your tuxes on. We’ve got rich old ladies to woo.

Dumo: you’re not supposed to take them home.

Nado: I never saw that rule. Older ladies knows some shit. Damn. Cougars are wild!

Remus: I’m not treating sex injuries

Nado: you treated Kuny’s groin last month?

Remus: that was from the ice.

Nado: sure it was 😜

Dumo: I’m ending this. Go change and BEHAVE tonight

——

Saturday 8.54 pm

Nadotheman removed siriusly from the group chat

Nadotheman added Remus to the group chat

Nadotheman changed Remus to Loops

Blizzard: did you do it? You have the phone?

Loops: yes. I did my part. Your guys are up

Nadotheman: okay here are the rules for the 2020 lions heist (this year we’re doing truth and dare the lions way - so mostly dare)

1. We have 3 hours and cap’s phone. Each team member has to get a selfie with cap in the frame. The best (dirtiest) photo wins 😜

2. CAP CANT KNOW

3. Leo and Walker are starting and they get to chose the next one. You’ve all got one photo each

4. To be considered we need the photo sent to this chat before midnight.

5. Remus is the ref on this little game.

6. If you lose. You’ve gotta tell us 3 secrets. He he we get to pick when.

DamnFoxy: how is this a prank on cap?

Prongstar: he’s always being swarmed and it’s fun. He’s our canvas and we need to fill in the blanks. It’s like hide and seek meeting truth and dare meeting Pictionary meeting Snapchat

CarbO’Hara: so we can start? Cause Kuny’s been snogging that girl for 4 minutes now? Does he not need to breathe?

Nadotheman: that’s two points for Leo!

CarbO’Hara: @newt-leo? WhY? I saw him first?

Newt-Leo: he’s snogging someone at the shrimp buffet. That’s open season. Also he’s still not come up for air? And it was my turn to start @krisvolley and @prongstar you’re it

KrisVolley: @blizzard & @lewilliam you’re up

LeWilliam: blizzard is cheating!!! He got his girlfriend’s friend to kiss him!!!! And Nat was touching cap’s butt

Blizzard: read the rules man. I’m not cheating

LeWilliam: but it’s unfair?

Blizzard: not my fault. I’m winning.

Loops: @lewilliam I’m pretty sure Nat and blizzard saved cap from a handsy old lady.

Blizzard: @sergei_81 & @kaneyoudigit you’re up

Kaneyoudigit: Hahahaha hahahha pretty sure sergei and me are gonna win.

Dumodad: sergeu just manhandled a very confused looking Sirius all the way back to the toilets?

Nadotheman: wait. Where’s Kuny?

KrisVolley: yeah Sergei definitely won.

Kaneyoudigit: I’ve got a pic too!!!

Logantremblayzzz: well you’ve got only half a cap. Sergei got himself and cap giving thumbs up.

Sunnysideup: you forgot you were supposed to be in the photo @kaneyoudigit 😂

Prongstar: so it’s not even 10 and Kuny’s already half naked in the bathroom. It’s like you guys aren’t even tryin. Didn’t even get a selfie with cap in it yet. Also he wasn’t supposed to know.

Sergei_81: he not know game he think I just want pic for Kuny. Keep try but I’m win.

Krisvolley: well that was smart. Back to the game boys. @dumodad & @logantremblayzzz you’re up

Sergei_81: why you sound surprised? Brat. I’m smart.

——

Nadotheman: everyone got their pics in?

Walkietalkie: yeah. Finno was last with Olli. They’ve just sent it - nice job Olli 😜 timmy didn’t send one tho

Loops: I don’t think I want to know. Olli. How the hell did you get cap to do that?

Ollibear: I just asked him to get some fresh air with me. How could I know timmy was getting acquainted with a girl behind the curtain? 😇

DumoDAD: acquainted? Is that what it’s called now?

RussianGod: at least I go to toilet for hookup

KrisVolley: you’re all terrible.

Sunnysideup: you sent a selfie with you and cap in front of the girls kissing in the corner....

KrisVolley: I’m a proud ally!

Talkiewalkie: to be fair you both look incredible uncomfortable

KrisVolley: it’s a stupid game

Timmyforrealz: HEY?! You losers hear about privacy?

Ollibear: if you want privacy don’t hook up with someone behind a curtain at a fancy nightclub.... also you didn’t send a pic. You’ve lost.

Timmyforrealz: I didn’t lose hah. Maybe I lost your dumb game

Prongstar: don’t blame the game for her dumping you. Also you lost some buttons on your shirt, your tie is a disaster and your dignity is hanging on by a thread

Timmyforrealz: she didn’t dump me. I decided not to pursue it further!

Russiangod: whatever u say. Come on who win?

Loops added siriusly to the group chat

Siriusly: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? Why am I in all of these selfies?

Loops: you’re cute when you’re annoyed. I had nothing to do with this😇

Prongstar: captain my captain. It was all loops’ idea. We’ve got a selfie collection for you.

Siriusly: you idiots have spent an entire evening running Around trying to take selfies with me and not tell me?

DumoDAD: it was fun. You didn’t catch on when Sergei asked you to pose in front of Kuny clearly going at it?

Siriusly: I thought it was a prank on Kuny? Like steal his clothes and all/ wait didn’t you steal his clothes?

Nadotheman: we should’ve. Dammit

Sergei_81: loops who win????

Loops: timmy lost.

Siriusly: wait it that why Nat was patting my butt? She said I’d been sitting in something? @blizzard!!!!

Blizzard: 😜

Siriusly: should I be offended? She did ask if it was okay. Wait. Why did I have to be in the photos? You’re not doing another collage?

Prongstar: of course! Last year was cap sleeping in different places.

Siriusly: you’re all idiots. How did you even get my phone??

Loops: ...

Siriusly: oh.

Talkiewalkie: awwwwww... 😜

Timmyforrealz: anyone seen my wallet?

Ollibear: I give up. 🙏🏻

[troop52]

do u !!! have any character theme songs for the troop boys? Like any songs you think really fits them (and why u think it fits)?

THATS A GREAT QUESTION!!

Before I get into it Im going to plug this collaborative Troop Playlist on Spotify, feel free to add onto it!! Continuing with my picks

I think a lot of the songs I associate with The Troop in general are just because I happened to listen to them around the same time I got into the book in the first place (So they could only be tangentially related BUT only if you squint hard) Example: Drunk by The Living Tombstone, cant really tie it into the story but in my mind its linked Some better, more fitting songs under the cut (Side note its LONGGG IM SORRY... Also its all YouTube links because some of these arent on Spotify :'^()

Disclaimer -Like 95% of my choices arent really a "These lyrics match up exactly 1 to 1" but more of an overall "the vibe/general idea its trying to capture lines up" type thing. If that makes sense.

Its Alright by Jack Stauber: Kind of self explanatory, I think its a perfect song for these guys. From "It's alright, I'm here, Everything's alright, Feels weird but calm, I wanna hear It's alright" to the whole sound of it- its all great. Equal parts distressing and sad with an almost eerie calmness to it. Despite it all theyre gonna be alright, right?

The Second Little Piggy by Worthikids: Another one that I think is sort of self explanatory- at least with the chorus. "If my brain turns to mush, If the shit hits the fan, Will you be my friend?" Kind of the falling apart of everything, specifically their relationships, in light of the incident.

Poor George by James Supercave: Another case of "listened to at the same time I read the book" BUT I was actually making a Troop PMV script with that song. I never finished it but maybe Ill revisit it... just for you

Cold Summer by Le Matos ft Computer Magic: I dont even think this takes place in the summer but the VIBES and also it came from Summer of 84, which is another good piece of murder boy media.

Treehouse by Alex G ft Emily Yacina: This is a Eef and Max type of song because they are bffs and thats final. Basic song because Im not creative, but I think its a nice heart to heart theyd have (with Eef doing the talking)

Fifteen Minuets by Nick Krol: On the flipside heres a song that goes with Eef and Maxs friendship fracturing, once again more from Eefs side than Maxs. THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG

As far as songs for the boys as individuals hmmm thats a good one that I havent thought about as much...

MAX + The Ghosts by The Real Tuesday Weld: That survivors guilt... lyrics arent like a perfect match but I think it gets that sort of hollow feeling across. Hes haunted man... + Final Girl by Electric Youth: Ok its a little funny because har har Final Girl Trope but I mean HE IS ONE. ANd dont look at me its a nice song- "Others were gone, and you kept going on, You know they never really noticed, you were always different, One by one, They're all done, And you're the last one standing" + Going Grazy by Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks: HONESTLY this could go for all the characters but Im tagging it onto Max because hes the one who has to deal with the aftermath of losing everyone (sorry survivors guilt Max again </3) "Everyone's saying my mind is unsound, 'Cause I always see you when you aren't around" "They're gonna wrap me in a jacket of white, And lock me away in a room without light" is what cements it as a Max song for me

EEF + The Existential Threat by Sparks: Once again starting sad, I link this one specifically to his paranoia about the worms- especially with lines like "Can't they see the existential threat is on its way". Kind of exasperated no one else can see the danger (he thinks) hes in. + Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother: I know I know its basic but I cant help it!!! Eef anger issues arc we are shaking hands me too + Haunted by Laura Les: Eef struggles with people seeing him as "just like his father" and I think we can get some good angst out of this track if we keep that in mind. Especially the back half of the song with lyrics like "Do you think I'm frightening?" and "Mirrors shatter when I'm passing, broken glass and crashing" since he is just a reflection of his dad (to others at least). Also song good.

KENT + Goodbye Mr A by The Hoosiers: Mfw the disillusionment with authority sets in. I think the vibe fits when he had that little epiphany about how adults are fucked- not perfect but it gets the idea across me thinks. + I'm Gonna Win by Rob Cantor: Ties into his need to "win" aka be the best at everything, be in charge, all that jazz! Hell do whatever it takes to be successful, even if it hurts. That was a little emo + Toba the Tura by Forgive Durden ft Chris Conley: Not to be emo again but "They say you're gifted, well I just see a scared kid. They must have flipped it, your skills are latent. O, you snuffed the glow. Replaced it with coals. Threw away the throne... This mess that you've made, it's a six-foot grave. It's a home for your lonesome bones that remain. We'll disappear, but you'll stay here to rot" AND SO ON AND SO FOURTH representing his fall after it was revealed he was sick. He was referred to as "the uncrowned king" and was on top of the world but then POOF that all crumbled and it was made out that he basically deserved what happened to him. It would be fun to make a pmv of him with this song (Simplifying my thoughts a bit because Ive already written a LOT)

NEWT + I Earn My Life by Lemon Demon: Ok a little Kentcore but Im actually having a hard time coming up with songs for Newton so here we are, they can share. Newt existential crisis moment time I guess + Know How by The Crane Wives: POV Newt struggles with going through with the plans he makes to keep everyone safe (stopping Max from touching Kent, going back into the cabin, etc) "I am not brave, I am not brave, I keep my focus on what is safe, You drew a line, made up your mind, And now I'm struggling to realize" And also maybe struggling with his place in the group and as a person in general- all that living through his cousin thing. "I gotta wrap my head around, What my heart is telling me, I've been trying to drown it out, Just because I know what I am, I am supposed to do now, Doesn't mean I know, Doesn't mean I know how" + On The Outside by Oingo Boingo: Idk man. Hes on the outside lookin in!! Loner nerd!! Its ok though, we still love him

SHEL + Bad Blood by Creature Feature: The lyrics speak for themselves: "I can guarantee I will do evil things, The only way that you can stop me now, Is if you put me in the ground, Somewhere I'll never be found" + Frontier Psychologist by The Avalanches: Hinges on the fact that the principal or whoever was like "Your sons a freak" and Shels mom was like "HES PERFECTLY FINE" while Shelley was like dismembering an animal or something + Johnny by American Murder Song: The songs good but theres this ONE LYRIC that sucks so the link provided is an edited version and also a lovely Warriors oc video I think you should all enjoy and support <3 Anyway Shel would be Johnny I could see this song being a scene in the book. Field trip to Shels house and they find his murder garden

If anyone wants more for Im not opposed to making another post :^)

[neverheardnothing]

black friday spoilers under cut!!! i’m serious!!!

aaaaaa im going to lose my SHIT

really im about to spoil the entire show

dont read if you havent seen it

oh my GOD OH MY GOD. PAUL. AND EMMA. THEYRE BACK. THEYRE BAKC.

AND THE FUCKING LA DEE DAH DAH DAY MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND IS BACK

PAULKINS. GOD. THEYRE ALIVE. AND FINE. IMGOING TO LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND!!!!!!!!!

“i dont like getting by cars anymore”  this is fucking hilarious why isnt ANYONE LAUGHING

“okay okay okay OKAY” ahhhh theyre really perfect for each other

“my buddy bill” hey im going to start crying.

:( this is so upsetting im so sad for this family.

DYLAN SOLO TIME. HIS VOICE. FUCK. 

“flash, bang, jane” oh my god oh my god i am on the FLOOR. this is HEARTBREAKING.

this song reminds me of inutil from in the heights fuck. im.

“family emergency” OKAY HIS WIFE DIED. DONT BE SO HARD ON HIM.

COREY SOLO COREY SOLO OH YEAH BOI

also they lit a fire on stage

corey’s character is SUCH AN ASSHOLE I LOVE IT HE’S THE PRIME DICKASS. oh my god wait hE’S MR KRABS

MALL SECURITY. ROBERT BEING A COP AGAIN.

ethan is a Look. the plaid around his waist AND the leather jacket oh my GOD.

oh my god the backing music in this moment is from the trailer. god. i love it.

CALIFOR MIA OHM Y OGD

OH MY GOD IT SOUNDS SO GOOD WITH THE FULL ORCHESTRATION

THE CHOREO WITH HANNAH IM CRYING

OH MY GOD THE HAMONIES. ROBERT. 

SMOKE CLUB. IM CRYING.

THE INTERLUDE WITH THE LETTER OH MY GOD IT’S SO GOOD.

BROKE! AS! SHIT!

smoke club hannah.

“that better be fucking floss. let’s go i want a cigarette”

“that’s illegal...... or it should be.” LMAO

WHAT DO  YOU SAY OHYEAH BOI

IT SOUNDS SO GOOD AS AN ENSEMBLE NUMBER AND ALL THE HARMONIES ARE IN

corey really is mr. krabs he’s even in red

GIVE US UR FUCKING MONEY

GIVE US UR FUCKING CASH

WHATEVER THE HELL JAIME IS MIMING IS SENDING ME

“and im in a hurry” A MAN IN A HURRY 

whatever the hell kind of accent is jon putting on i love it

SKDLFASL;DKSS JON “RIGHT IN T HE SUBPEONA” 

“three dollars” god that’s me

OH MY GOD THIS A BACKING BIT JEFF PUT ON HIS STORY

yES I AM LIVING SO FUCKING HARD

i think this is my favorite number so far

THE BEAT DROP GOES SO FUCKING HARD

jon and jeff strangling each other

this is SUCH A GOOD NUMBER AND THE CHOREOGRAPHY

JEFF AND JAMES HAVE REALLY OUTDONE THEMSELVES

GOD I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE CAST RECORDING

this is DEFINITELY the best song musically yet

THE MOTIF FROM SHWO ME YOUR HANDS YES OH MY GOD I LOVE IT

THE RECURRING THINGS FROM TGWDLM I AM LIVING FOR IT S O MUCH

hannah is such an archetype character so far i hope she gets like. More Character soon.

the melody for califor mia returns in the backing here ugh i love it

wow i wonder if these guys have fight call for all this shit

the “eeeeee” noise jon made i just laughed so hard

WAIT FUCK THE SAD PIANO CALIFOR MIA IS IN THE BACKGROUND

WTF ETHAN DIES HERE? WHAT THE FUCK. OH SHIT. FUCK!!!! the first death.

“GIVE ME THAT FUCKING DOLL IM IN A HURRY” OH MY GOD MAN IN A HURRY STRIKES BACK

are we down a tom already too?? jesus fuck i presumed all these characters would die but this is quick.

the reverb/echo on joey’s audio is So Spooky i love it

AHHH THE NEWS THEME BEEPS

the creepy carol of the bells backing music i love it

also is that a fucking barack obama impression

james patting the doll as they all argue is such a mood

OH MY GOD

MCNAMARA

OH MY GOD!!!

AMERICA IS GREAT AGAIN THEME IS BACK

I! AM! LIVING! FOR ALL THE TGWDLM MUSIC REPRISES.

PEIP BAYBEEEEEE. 

“just me and a few of my peeps” im fucknig losing it

GOD!!!!! THIS UNDERSCORING I CANNOT HANDLE IT.

intermission

THE NOT YOUR SEED MELODY ON AN ELECTRIC GUITAR

GOD IT SLAPS!!!!!

oh my god found the bit of choreography that looks like it was from the prom

also love the james lauren and robert solo dance number

the only starkids minus denise who can dance

the ensemble numbers in this show are so fucking good

also nice that tom survived. though like. probably not for long considering how this show is going.

tom: i killed my family

becky: yeah but remember us in high school?

did becky fucking kill her husband

LOL YEAH SHE DID

jesus christ what an admission

oof dylan and kim’s voices dont blend that well together and i think one of them is slightly flat on the belt harmonies

oh my god theyre going to fuck in this movie theater during the apocalypse christ almighty

oh hELL YEAH america is great again theme is playing again

“fuck that, fuck that, FUCK THAT!” mood

his face at “birth canal” is KILLING ME

im so ready for jon wiggly to show up i HOPE TO GOD ITS A FURSUIT

jaime is SUCH a good actress like legitimately

is wiggly going to be the new satan in this fandom oh god

this is like if everyone actually worshipped the duck in firebringer

“unless i get what i shit” lmaooooo

wow ok i legit wonder if they have fight call for all these lifts and fights that happen in the show

the demented califor mia underscoring right now i am Living

“well, webby is a stupid bitch!” lol i love this, though i dont love that theyre just using vulgar words as the punchline

the underscoring of dylan’s i want song in this conversation holy shit

space tour vibes with the helmet lmaoooo

“i cant be evil im a status quo democrat!” LMAOOOOOO

oh im finally getting that the streamers on the wall are also supposed to be like wiggly’s mouth

THE ELECTRIC GUITAR IS FUCKIN POWERFUL

UGH YES NOT YOUR SEED MELODY LINE FOR A SEC

o shit nuclear war with russia

“two doors not one” OHM Y GOD OK

FUCK MAN!!!!!!!!!

HANNAH!!!!!

the melody of “aliens invading minds” reoccurring is Killing Me i love it so much

“friday is black for me” oof

oh shit so both lex and hannah have some weird fucking interdimensional power???

this entire fucking show is SO fucking wild like i honestly dont know what to make of it

“THEYRE ALL INTO FORTNITE DUDE” LMAOOOOOOOO

it’s because all the adults are sad and jaded under capitalism lol

tom’s face this entire time is hilarious

dylan’s voice is literally heavenly oh my god

“should i move these boxes first?” cinematic parallels to the should i take this chair lol

“the hat falling off her head” lmaoooo

curt laughing

“is it some kind of joooooke???”

the yoga choreography i am LOSING MY SHIT

evil carol of the bells motif again!!

JAMES’ DEATH DROP UGH YES

lex set a fire and she burned down the mall!

oh man the “what if tomorrow comes” melody is playing and im crying

“WEAR A WATCH” OH MY GOD LMAOOO

also jon saying “what am i going to  dowithout my iphone” as a former apple store employee is hilarious

the callbacks to tgwdlm were hilarious

god this song is so fucking good

also robert being hot chocolate guy is hilarious

im so ready for nerdy prudes must die

kendall’s voice is so good oh my god

the harmonies im living jesus christ christ i wish they were sustained though there’s some silences between them which is a bit awkward

and this was only the digital ticket im sure they’ll sound MUCH better with the actual editing in picked from several performances and better on the cast recording. 

ok tbh i don’t know quite what to make of black friday yet i will have to rewatch a few times to Really Process it but i do know that there were some fucking BOPS in it. it kinda feels like a bit of a mess

angela did very well singing songs that were originally not written on her voice but u can also definitely tell. i really liked her califor mia but not so much when the song required her voice to be very strong.

and hey at least most of them didn’t die this time.

[freshsliceoflemon]

1 | Projects and Objects

James Madison recently gotten a number from one of his classmates, since the two have a project due next week. Turns out, the number is incorrect which leads him into talking to a total stranger, and then into an absolute disaster.

____

This is a college + modern + text/chat AU. It's a slow burn fanfiction, too, but not including Burr and Lee's relationship along with Hercules and Lafayette's. Madison/Jefferson/Hamilton ship. Warning: Cursing. _______________________

***-***-**** (3:55) P.M): Hello, Molly, this is James Madison. You gave me your number in class in regards to the group project we were recently assigned to. Since it is our duty to work together as partners, I hope we can come to an agreement where we have little to no social interaction at all.

??? (4:01 P.M): wot

???: Oh yeh

???: Think you have the wrong number, my dude

???: Yeah*

***-***-****: Pardon?

***-***-***: I have checked the number three times already.

???: Lmao molly gave you a fake number

???: she isn’t interested in u

***-***-****: Why should she be, anyway? I am not interesting in the slightest. We’re just partners for a project that we were assigned. Don’t assume.

***-***-****: Please disregard my rude interruption from whatever you were doing, I shall proceed to erase your number from my contacts and we will carry on like this never happened.

???: What

???: Noo dude wiat

???: James

???: jAmes

???: JAMES ANSWER ME THEERE’s A FIRE

***-***-****: If there is a fire, you should have called the fire department.

???: I just wanted to text u, sheesh >:^

***-***-**** (4:10): What is that.

??? : What is what ???: The emoji thingie??

???: Smh

???: I want to be your friend!! can we be friends????

***-***-****: Why? There is no reason for us to be, I just managed to get the wrong number.

???: I’m thomas!! Thomas Jefferson!!!

???: C’mon, let’s be friends! You seem like a cool guy

???: And a nerd, and nerds are my type ;))

***-***-****: What.

***-***-****: Whatever. I have no interest in pursuing a relationship with you, Jefferson. We don’t know each other at all, and I do not have time for friends. This project is worth half of my semester grade, and I will not be failing because of this foolery.

???: Smhhh

???: Seriously?? no time for friends

???: That’s really sad, my dude

???: well, guess what

***-***-****: What, pray tell?

???: Your my best friend now >:DD

***-***-***: You’re*.

***-***-****: And no, how does one simple interaction make you my “best friend”?

???: You’re my best friend now, shut up

***-***-****: Are you serious?

???: I’ll prove it to you then!!! watch!

***-***-****: What.

______

       Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers

Macaroni Fxcker (4:11 PM): Guys!!! tell james that I’m his best friend and that he can never deny it!!

A.Hammy: what

A.Hammy: dude who did you add

Macaroni Fxcker: My bestest best friend james

smile the fk more: I thought I was your best friend, Thomas

Macaroni Fxcker: Youre my second best friend don’t worry

A.Hammy: who did you add jefferson

Macaroni Fxcker: James!! say hii!

Baguetteroni: Hi James

***-***-****: Jefferson, why did you add me to this?

Baguetteroni: Wow

Macaroni Fxcker: I wanted to prove to you that im your best friend >:|!!

A.Hammy: smh..

A.Hammy: did you kidnap someone? again?

Macaroni Fxcker : Uh, no

smile the fk more: Thomas, are you lying

Macaroni Fxcker: I’m not!!

Macaroni Fxcker: damn now i have to convince yall that im not lying

***-***-****: What.

***-***-****: You kidnapped someone before?

A.Hammy: ugh we talked about this before jefferson

A.Hammy: so, “james”, what’d you do to get kidnapped by thomas jefferson???

***-***-****: I wasn’t kidnapped.

Macaoni Fxcker: Yeh!!! he said that he didnt have time for friends soo

       Seabunny is now online.

Seabunny: Whaat? But everyone needs friends :^

Leelee: omg stop fucking spamming my notifications guys

smile the fk more: Charles, mute the chat if you dislike the notifications

Leelee: shut up

smile the fk more: Yeah, I’ll shut up alright Leelee: oh no.

       smile the fk more is now offline.

Leelee: oh n o

Seabunny: So James! What’s your zodiac sign?? favourite animal???

Baguetteroni: Oooooo whats ur favourite color??????

***-***-****: what have you done jefferson

Macaroni Fxcker: I added you to my group chat duh

Macaroni Fxcker: I thought you were smart or somethin

       ***-***-**** has left Anatomical Lasers

       Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers

A.Hammy: bruh

Seabunny: ó .ò

Seabunny : What about favourte herbal tea?????

Leelee: wooow.

       ***-***-**** has left Anatomical Lasers

Macaroni Fxcker: Omg stop

       Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers

       ***-***-**** has left Anatomical Lasers Macaoni Fxcker: Bitch Seabunny: Oop-

       Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers Macaroni Fxcker: You should change your nickname Macaroni Fxcker: Numbers are boring, james >:|

***-***-****: Numbers are not boring and never will be. Just let me leave.

       ***-***-**** has left Anatomical Lasers

A.Hammy : Stp A.Hammy : fuck i meant stop* A.Hammy: it’s getting annoying

Leelee: lmao fucker Herc’s a femboy: Woah we have a new person 😳😳😳        Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers Macaroni Fxcker: Look, james Macaroni Fxcker: I won’t stop until you stay Seabunny: Yeah!! I tried leaving a bunch of times before but I was never able to leave :>!! ***-***-****: Whatever, I give up. I have things to tend to, anyway. Baguetteroni: Like what        ***-***-**** is now offline. A.Hammy: damn jefferson A.Hammy: you made him mad lmaoo Macaroni Fxcker: I didn’t make him mad >:((((( ______        Macaroni Fxcker is now online. Macaroni Fxcker (5:43 PM): Jamesss are you alive?? Macaroni Fxcker (5:49 PM): Hellloooo??        A.Hammy is now online. A.Hammy: smh A.Hammy: cant you just dm him or some shit Macaroni Fxcker: I feel lonely right now so no >:(( A.Hammy: you’re overdramatic Macaroni Fxcker: You’re a cold blooded tiger shark, idiot A.Hammy: you frivolous wanna-be movie trope Macaroni Fxcker: Bruh you’re just a fuckinsnasdasdkasdjjjdjksdj,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, A.Hammy: what. A.Hammy: answer me A.Hammy: what the hell were you about to say A.Hammy: bitch Macaroni Fxcker: Whoopsie doodlie i dropped my computer on my face teehee o3o A.Hammy: how the hell do you do that? A.Hammy: actually don’t respond A.Hammy: it’s obvious that you of all people would do that Macaroni Fxcker: Ouch, hamilton,, you wound me A.Hammy: i sure hope i do.        Herc’s a femboy is now online. Herc’s a femboy: Kinky ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Macaroni Fxcker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) A.Hammy: shut the up Macaroni Fxcker: Excuse me?!?!!?1? A.Hammy: you’re excused Macaroni Fxcker: Humph >:| Herc’s a femboy: Lol gotta go Herc’s a femboy: I still need to finish sewing the scarf Macaroni Fxcker: Byeee A.Hammy: bye A.Hammy: have fun

       Herc’s a femboy is now offline.

       ***-***-**** is now online.

Macaroni Fxcker: Omg james it’s been so looong how are youu? ***-***-****: It’s been at least an hour since we last spoke, Jefferson. Macaroni Fxcker: Ugh only seeing numbers as your name is boooring ***-***-****: Numbers are not boring. A.Hammy: they’re not as boring as your mom tho Macaroni Fxcker: aLex we don’t know anything about james mom don’t say that DD:< A.Hammy: chill A.Hammy: whyre you so mad lmfaoo Macaroni Fxcker: >.> Macaroni Fxcker: James james james james change your nammmeee already ***-***-****: Why, exactly? Macaroni Fxcker: Changing your nickname thingie makes it less likely for you to leave!! Macaroni Fxcker: And i wanna know what creative things you can come up with!        A.Hammy has changed ***-***-****’s nickname to loser Macaroni Fxcker: Wtf hamilton A.Hammy: hahh loser loser: Sigh. loser: If you insist on me changing my nickname, then;        loser changed their name to Pluto A.Hammy: wow so amazing A.Hammy: i bet flat earthers love you

Pluto: What a shame, seeing as how you haven’t confessed to me yet. A.Hammy: what the shit no A.Hammy: smh i don’t support flat earthers Macaroni Fxcker: Woah. Pluto: “Woah”? Macaroni Fxcker: How small are you?? A.Hammy: i swear if you’re taller than me i’m going to kick you into next wednesday Macaroni Fxcker: I meant height btw Pluto: I’m 5’4. Why is this information necessary? Macaroni Fxcker: omg A.Hammy: i Macaroni Fxcker: omg omg omg you finally found someone shorter than you hammy A.Hammy: don’t fucking call me hammy Macaroni Fxcker: Hey, pluto Pluto: Yes? Macaroni Fxcker: Welcome. you have officially joined this group chat! we should celebrate Pluto: Thank you, I suppose. A.Hammy: yeah, welcome A.Hammy: i sure hope you enjoy your stay A.Hammy: because you aren’t getting out of here alive Pluto: I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.

[incorrectcomputercrewquotes]

Computer Crew as Vines

Jay: Who’s the hottest Uber driver you’ve ever had?

Palace: *panicking* Um, I’ve never been to oovoo javer

Eighty: *while high* Oh, gurl, lemme give you a kiss, that is good, mwah! That is beautiful- WOAH! *trips and falls* I FELL ON MY BOOTY!

Jay: *dancing awkwardly and falls on his face*

River: *recording* OH! He needs some MILK!

Some Squip: *waddles awkwardly over to toddler Palace*

Palace: Daddy?

Some Squip: DO I LOOK LIKE-

Jamie: *over the loudspeaker* Palace to the foyer? I have a little surprise for you!

Palace: *gasping at baby pig* Is that a chicken??

River: *stoned* On all levels except physical, I am a wolf

River: *barks*

Jay: Yo what are we about to do

River: Yo drink this vodka down the hatch, come on

River: *drinks vodka*

River: *nearly cries, spits it up, aggressive flapping*

Jay: I’m just chilling in Cedar Rapids

Eighty: When there’s too much drama at school, all you gotta do is *mad riff* WALK AWAYAYAYAYAYAY

Eighty: I brought you frankincense

Palace: Thank you

Aussie: And I brought you myrrh

Palace: Thank you..?

Aussie: MYRRH-DER!

Palace: *gasps* AUSSIE NO

Jay: Two shots of vodka

Jay: *pours the whole fucking bottle*

James: Hi my name is James, I have a basketball game tomorrow, well I’m a point guard, I got shoe game

Eighty: Hey Dad! Say “Who want lasagna?”

Palace: Who want lasga- *trips*

Palace: Mothertrucker dude! That hurt like a buttcheek on a stick!

Jay: WATCH YOUR PROFANITY

Eighty: *after hours of everyone arguing* I DONT GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF YALL! YALL AINT NEVER GONNA SLEEP CUZ OF ME!

Palace: *hiding in the closet from a killer*

Aussie: ...Red Robin~

Palace: YUMMM- OH NO OH NO

River: Airhorn prank!

River: *honks airhorn*

Palace: *after zoning out* Did someone say something?

Eighty: *while high* My favourite screamo band is probably Big Time Rush?

Jay: *tears up and clutches heart, also high* oh my god

River: *walks in wearing his boxers* Hi welcome to chili’s!

Jay: LETS DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL

Jay and Palace: DINGDINGDINGDADINGDADINGDADINGDING-

Jay: *high* Get to Del Taco! They got a new thing called Fresha- Freeee- FRE SHA VA CODO

Aussie: we all die you either kill yourself or get killed

Aussie: *dancing* What you gonna do? What you gonna do?

River: How much did you pay for that taco?

Jay: eyy you know dis boi’s got his free taco- *falls over and kills taco*

Jay: *lipsynching to Smooth Criminal*

Eighty: *dances by in the background*

Palace: *rides in on a hover board covered by a carpet, dressed as Aladdin* I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD-

Aussie: It’s an avocado! Thaaannnksss..

Eighty: *with spoons over his eyes* I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there. I was too busy blocking out the haters

River: *slides down a frozen ramp on his feet* Good evening

Jay: *walks through the cereal aisle at the grocery store*

Jay: *kicks a box of Kix*

Aussie: *trips*

Eighty: Woah! You good, man?

Aussie: *sobs while shoving spaghetti back into her pocket*

Eighty: *imitating a white girl* OH MAH GAWD I LOVE CHIPOTLEEE! CHIPOTLE IS MY LIIIIIFE!

Aussie: Back at it again at Krispy Kreme

Aussie: *does some awesome gymnast shit and breaks the sign*

Jamie: *awkwardly* Okay

Jamie: *awkwardly* OJ

Jamie: *awkwardly* Crochet

Jamie: *awkwardly* Obey

Jamie: *awkwardly* Jose

Eighty: *downstairs* YO LETS GO

Jay: Okay I’m calling shotgun!

Jay: *picks up a remote*

Jay: Hey I was just wondering if I could sit in the front seat

Aussie: Sure son

Jay: Thanks

River: What’s better than this? Guys being dudes

Eighty: *singing high notes loudly*

River: SHUT UP

Eighty: Yes

Palace: What would you do if there was a child right in front of you?

River: *yeets child to the side*

Jay: *high* Ooo I like your accent, mmm, where you from?

River: I’m Russian

Jay: Oop- my bad- I’ll let you keep going, hurry up!

Palace: IS THAT A DOG IN A CAR- ‘EY, ‘EY- ARE Y- WH- WHERED YOU LEARN TO DRIVE?! WHAT-

Palace: LET ME SEE WHAT YOU HAVE

Aussie: *running away* A KNIFE

Palace: NO

Eighty: *giggling and skipping to the couch*

Eighty: *flops down* River! Sup?!

James: *cant play the recorder right* God damn!

James: oh- I’m sorry- *does an apology prayer and continues*

Aussie: *high* Why you mad? Why you sad? When you could be glade *sprays air freshener everywhere*

River: Go ahead and introduce yourself!

Palace: My name is Palace with a B and I’m scared of insects

River: Stop stop stop

Palace: Hm?

River: Where?

Palace: What?

River: Where’s the B?

Palace: THERES A B E E ? !

James: *strums guitar*

James: *screams*

River: Jay LOOK ITS THE GOOD KUSH

Jay: *done with his shit* It’s the dollar store, how good can it be?

River: Cabetsu, cabetsu, ca-bet-su

River: *now joined by the other squips* LETTASSU, LETTASSU, LET-TASS-UUUU

Eighty: I don’t care about my haters, and if you wanna fight me, then fight me

Jay: I have no soul. Have a nice day!

River: I don’t have one either

Game show host: Do you have anyone in the audience?

Jamie: My boyfriend Neil

James: *awkward wave*

Eighty: Hey I’m lesbian

Jay: *high* I thought you were american?

River: That is not correct. Because according to the encyclopaedia of *weird tongue noises*

Palace: Release all of the sounds that are trapped in your mind

Jay: *deep breath*

Jay: *screams*

Eighty: Hello Aussie

Aussie: Hi Eighty

Eighty: Those shoes look familiar

River: SHUT U P

Aussie:

Aussie: ¿A quién le estás diciendo que shut up? ¡¿ME ESTÁS DICIENDO QUE SHUT UP?!

Jay: *spills oil on the floor*

Jay: HEY PALACE COME GET YALL JUICE

Jay: *slips and shatters the oven door* SHIT

Jay: So I’m sitting there

Jay: Barbecue sauce on my titties

Eighty: *w h e e z e*

River: When you’re in the hotel room and you have to pay for the water

River: *yeets water bottle* SHUT THE HELL YOUR MOUTH

River: *at the sink* THERE’S FREE WATER RIGHT HERE

[sharing-tangerines]

It: Chapter 2 Thoughts

-right off the bat I wanna say that while I liked and enjoyed this movie, I like the first movie a whole lot better

-the 1st movie i think does better w delving into the character's psyches and making us understand why they're afraid of something

-i feel like I didn't really know the adult losers bc I didnt. They were like completely new people to me

-also. The tonal shifts throughout the movie were so jarring. Like that scene where eddie is fighting the leper? Its fucking intense until it throws up on him and that fucking song plays. I hated that

-and I personally think they relied too heavily on like jump scares and cheap horror tricks which like sucks bc honestly this movie wasnt that scary. No scratch that it wasnt scary. It was more of am adventure movie than a horror movie

-also I absolutely hated how they retconned Bill's character like that. He was a perfectly fine character and we didnt need to know that he wasnt actually sick. We didnt need that at all

-oh and fucking hell I hate the cgi on the "young" (I put that on quotes bc they're my age and it's weird to me calling them young) losers faces. Especially anime finn wolfhard holy shit I hated every second of that.

-AND THEIR VOICES. you didnt need to make them sound like discount Alvin and the chipmunks like i dont think voices need digital altering. I'm sure it would've been fine w the physical raising stuff the kids were doing

-ok time for positive things

-shoutout to Andy Bean bc homeboy was literally in this movie for maybe 5 minutes and then he was dead. Like yeah good for u for sticking it out (but also I did not want to see his bare ass on screen no thanks)

-Eddie is so fucking feral as an adult. Like he was feral as a kid but james ransone just cranked it up to an 11 and I appreciate it

-i kinda hate myself for watching leaked clips but whatever

-i cant remember things well bc I watched this yesterday but jessica chastain smoking a cigarette (bonus points for crying) might've made me hard idk

-mike drugged bill and that's no ok but like it was funny. Bill was seriously not having a great time

-I READ SOMEWHERE THAT THE REASON FOR THE SHOWER CAPS WAS BC LIKE BILL GAVE THEM ALL LICE OR SOMETHING BUT APPARENTLY ITS JUST FOR SPIDERS LIKE WHO TOLD ME LICE

-hamocks belong to the gays now I dont make the rules

-i really wasnt into the tiddy monster that attacked beverly like not to be a downer but that sucked

-finn wolfhard has been type casted as past-era queer boys deeply in love w their best and honestly that's kind of my dream. If I ever actually pursue acting that's what I want my typecast to be pls

-also the kid cant run for shit someone pls put together comparison gifs of the kid running in anything I'm telling u he cant

-i really liked it when eddie stabbed Henry Bowers like yeah that was cool but also eddie during that whole scene was kind of the definition of gay fear that was just it

-hey bill hader can u like not throw up for one goddamn second pls

-its really fucking sad that bill is projecting his guilt of Georgie onto this random fucking kid whO DIED LIKE I DIDNT EXPECT THAT OHMYGOD

-i missed stan. He baby. But also demon head stan? No thanks. Dont like. Get it out of here. Nope nope nope

-I almost cried when eddie asked bill not to be mad at him like yeah theres the eddie/bill from the book I've been waiting for (do they have a ship name I dont think so huh)

-yo the fact that they made a giant pennywise like....I didnt like that all that much. I think most of the 3rd act I didnt like. Idk it just didnt seem right and none of it was scary! It was just a big boss battle!

-YO THOSE BEV + BLOOD AND BEN + DIRT SCENES WERE SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE YEAH MAYBE STRAIGHTS DO DESERVE ROGHTS

-oh fuck wait ok that scene where old bill is confronting young bill and he shoots him in the head and jaeden just kinda falls back yeah I found that visually stunning

-only half of the kids got to channel pennywise thsts a shame all of those fuckers shouldve been able to channel pennywise

-how the hell did eddie throw that spear so well what

-OHMYGOD HE GOT STABBED HE GOT STABBED WHILE LOOKING AT RICHIE OHMYGOD WAIT SHIT NO NO NO NO NO

-theure fucking,,,,bullying the clown to death. That's what they're doing. That's how they beat It. I cant believe that this is my life like yeah it was cool how they destroyed its heart but did they really need to fucking bully it

-hey um give bill hader an oscar bc um homeboy really delivered like tears fell. That shit hurted I cannot believe that richie tozier has been in love w eddie kaspbrak for 27+ years like wow the audacity

-i really miss those fucking kids like no offense to the adults but the kids have my heart. I miss them give me another movie w them please

-YO THEY ALL REMEMBER NO WAY THST MAKES ME SO HAPPY

-cool richie is recarving the initials great ok um I wanna die but that's fine just yknow say goodbye to ur first love ig no biggie

-cool I cant believe stan has the audacity to write this fucjing letter I'm weeping inside fuck

-a flawed yet enjoyable movie 7/10

[uniformbravo]

time for... a story

back in 9th grade art class i had this painting assignment & i decided to do fanart for a fic i was obsessed w/ at the time and this painting was coming out so good i was literally so proud of it, i didn’t finish it in time for the due date but i took it home to finish it on my own bc i just loved it that much

my room was incredibly messy at the time, i would have these giant piles of papers & notebooks n shit all over my bed and the floor surrounding, and that’s where this painting went. which was completely fine with me because i’m an “organized mess” kind of person (i literally still remember years later exactly where the painting was in that particular mess) but my mom is distinctly the opposite so she made me clean the whole disaster eventually, and i somehow lost track of the painting

several months and multiple fruitless searches later i resigned myself to the fact that i’d probably accidentally thrown it out in my big cleanup and would never see it again (though i was still intensely confused about how i managed to lose it because i literally just had no memory of moving it, it just. straight up disappeared)

years have passed since then and every now and again i remember that painting and feel regretfully wistful (and still very confused) and wonder what happened to it and wish i could see it just one more time, because at this point i only really have a vague recollection of what was on it- a composition divided into quadrants illustrating different parts of the fic i was basing it on, a torn piece of lined paper in the center (because the fic’s title was “lined paper”), and in the top right corner this tree that i was super proud of, i remember thinking it was the best tree i’d drawn in my entire life

so honestly whenever i remember this painting i mostly think of that tree and my strong feelings towards it and that’s the main thing i’m curious about, wanting to see that damn tree again to find out what was so special about it, because like. i’m a better artist now, i’ve improved so much, if i saw it again it probably wouldn’t even be that good, right? but i think this tree in particular was the first one that i was like “hell yeah” about and influenced the way i’ve drawn trees ever since then, so like it’s a big deal right. i really miss this tree

the last time i thought about it (before right now, i mean) was actually earlier this week, on my way home from my painting class? usually painting in general reminds me of this painting because the last time i actually painted with, like, acrylics was in high school for this class, so i just have that strong association built in, so when i think of painting i think of the painting so i was thinking about that on my way home from class and feeling the regret that comes with it like man if only i could just see it again, what even happened to it, etc. etc.

anyway, my sister is working on a drawing right now, she says she suddenly got struck with inspiration and wants to hold onto it for as long as possible to finish this piece she’s working on (which is honestly very pretty, it’s a sunset scene and the colors are so soft and vibrant)

she started it the other day, and she wanted to work with colored pencils, but she couldn’t find the big box of colored pencils that we keep around for people to use, so instead she went and got out this, like... one of those big ol’ art boxes that have a myriad of random supplies like colored pencils & oil pastels & shit like that?? we’ve had this one literally forever and it’s just kind of been sitting around for most of that time, but it’s finally gotten some use because our colored pencil shoebox happens to be mia atm

this morning i noticed a notebook on the floor by the couch (my sister’s workspace) with some, like, papers sticking out? and on top of the notebook is some mail addressed to my sister, and i don’t recognize this sketchbook at all, so obviously it’s hers. from what i’ve seen in the past, her art style is is pretty... eccentric? is that the right word? lemme google this

ok that sounds meaner than i meant ghhdg uhh idk, the best way i can think of to explain it is that her people look like they’d work really well as illustrations for scary stories? there’s something almost creepy or unsettling about them, but in a good way, like i’m pretty sure she’s doing it on purpose

anyway, i bring it up because there’s this drawing sticking out of the notebook and it looks like her style because there’s this creepy-lookin dude that totally matches her types of drawings so im like “cool” and go back to what im doing

then, later, i happen to look at it again, and fuckin..... it’s the top of the page that’s sticking out. and there’s this..... tree. in the top right corner. and im like

Huh

so i pull out the drawing, which actually turns out to be a half-finished painting, and sure e-fuckin-nough it is The painting

needless to say i was losing my shit on this fine sunday morning like goddamn i haven’t seen this thing in like 7 years i thought it was gone forever and that i’d never see it again i mourned this painting so many times and here it is, literally holding it in my hands, back from the fucking dead like a zombie (which is thematically appropriate because “lined paper” was a horror story)

like, that’s why i thought it was my sister’s drawing? because it was creepy-lookin? i didn’t even recognize my own style smh. on the back there’s a little color key and i had forgotten about this but the reason it was divided into four sections was because the assignment was color harmonies! we were supposed to paint a single image but in each quadrant use different colors for different harmonies, like complementary, triadic, cool, and some other shit that im too lazy to look at but u get the picture

so after i got over being reunited with my fuckin long-lost painting i had to wonder why my sister had it, right. back in the day she used to steal our stuff, like all the time? she doesn’t do it anymore so we’re cool lol dw but like since this was so long ago i wondered if maybe she had taken it back then & just forgotten about it?

so i asked her abt it when she got home (i had to wait a few hours but honestly?? whats a few hours to several years) and she said the notebook was fuckin.... in the art box. just like. in there. this entire time it was in this goddamn shitty art supply box that nobody ever uses bc we have better art supplies around and the only reason it got pulled out of its cobweb-ridden corner of the house was because said superior art supplies were missing. so if my sister had been able to find the colored pencils i never would have found this fucking painting, we probably would have just eventually donated the box w/o checking inside & someone somewhere out there would’ve gotten this extra half-finished creepy fuckin painting w/ my name written in huge letters across the back in their new box of art supplies oh god

anyway i wasn’t gonna do this but i’d feel bad if i didn’t include a picture of the damn thing at this point so here it is

warnings for blood, gore, implied suicide imagery, & general spooky horror story type stuff

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i drew this 7 yrs ago dont judge ok

the fic itself has long since been deleted from ffn (rip) but from what i remember: it was a south park fic & focused on slenderman? i was completely new to horror & had never heard of slenderman before so the story rly spooked me lol he would like show up through any reflective surface so i was scared of mirrors for a while

i wish i could remember the significance of all the shit i included here lol i mean we got slendy in there a couple times, that much is obvious... i don’t even know what the tree is supposed to mean it’s just some random tree at this point

im p sure that’s stan & kyle in the bottom right, and that’s probably stan again in the top left? he’s like bleeding kenny’s initials tho idk why that’s happening (those are kenny’s initials right. kenneth james or smth). that’s gotta be tweek in the mirror at top middle just look at his shirt, and as for bottom left uhhh i think that’s craig?? i actually specifically remember that chapter, something about a baseball game & craig was pissed off and went off to the bathroom alone & then black tentacles happened, so that’s what’s happening in the drawing

anyway. aaanyway. that’s a fuckin mystery solved now, right. i cant believe it was in that dumbass case the whole time i stg??? thank u for listening 2 my story i spent too long on it & now it’s 2:45 am bye

[kwonhozhi]

Everybody Needs A Nervy B Now And Then

or 

Bitch In A Uniform 

On the verge of turning 18, grown-up-to-be James sets his sights on the new girl at school, “gorgeous sex-god” Lily, bass player for the Stiff Dylans. Unfortunately Lily appears to already be dating James’ evil archrival: the greasy and bitter Snape. With his ridiculously named cat Sir Jeremy and his band of brothers, the Ace Gang, by his side, James sets his mad schemes in motion to nab a snogtastic girlfriend and have the best birthday party ever. 

it’s here !!!! its here despite my computer shitting itself and drawing a total blank on a title and not being able to leave it alone its HERE we MADE IT

my eternal love to @alrightevans and also @alrightpotter @prongsyouignoramus and @gxldentrio 

AO3

James Potter to Ace Gang: cnt believe u wankers fucking abandoned me

Remus Lupin: james we were RIGHT THERE

James Potter: NOT DRESSED AS HORS D’OEVRES

Sirius Black: it’s spelled hors d’oeuvres

James Potter: i think you’ll find its spelled ‘betrayal’

James Potter: why did you all bail???????????????

Peter Pettigrew: Mum wouldn’t let me go as a cocktail sausage, seeing as she’s veggo and all

Sirius Black: jam you KNO yellow washes me out idk what you were thinking trying to make me be a cheese and pineapple stick

Remus Lupin: i’ll square idk how the fuck i was supposed to be a vol-au-vent

James Potter changed the group name to Betrayal Gang.

Sirius Black changed James Potter’s nickname to olive boi.

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Sirius Black to James Potter: u should have been at mine 2 minutes ago

Sirius Black: wher r u

James Potter: coming

James Potter: was talking to mum and dad abt my party

Sirius Black: howd it go

James Potter: :///////:

Sirius Black: double ended :/

James Potter: yeah.

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Sirius Black to Ace Gang: just saw snape on the way to bio. god hes so wet up close

James Potter: wearer of the wettest haircut known to humanity thy name is snape

Peter Pettigrew: Omg i kno i saw it this morning like imagine turning up for the first day like that

James Potter: youd think hed have least timed his yearly bath to coincide with the start of school

Remus Lupin: you guys shouldn’t be so mean about him

Remus Lupin: im just kidding can you imagine

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James Potter to petition for dumbledore to make a rule about school bathing regulations: lupin we all saw u go off with that bird at break

James Potter: whats the 411 lil mama

James Potter: whats the hot goss

Remus Lupin: nothing, she’s the new exchange student i was showing her around

Sirius Black: sure

James Potter: that hickey under your collar get there by itself did it

Remus Lupin: we’re not talking about this

Peter Pettigrew: Guys shut up i have English and McG is giving me the worst look

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Sirius Black to now taking bets for how long it takes sirius to get a detention off mcgonagall: where have you and the swedish girl got to on the snogging scale???

Remus Lupin: shes danish

Remus Lupin: and what the fuck is the snogging scale

James Potter: me and siri invented it

James Potter: 1) holding hands                        2) arm around                        3) good-night kiss                        4) kiss lasting over three minutes without a breath                        5) open mouth kissing                        6) tongues                        7) upper body fondling—outdoors                        8) upper body fondling—indoors (in bed)                        9) below waist activity                      10) the full monty

Remus Lupin: why am i friends with either of you

Sirius Black: we were thirteen

James Potter: oh so suddenly now that you’re 18 you’re too COOL for the snogging scale????????

Peter Pettigrew: CAN YOU STOP HAVING IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS WHILE IM IN CLASS WITH MCGONAGALL

Sirius Black: o i thought this was the chat without peter

Peter Pettigrew: Fuck off

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Peter Pettigrew to Remus Lupin: You don’t really have a chat without me do you ?????

Peter Pettigrew: ??????????????????

Peter Pettigrew: Remus

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James Potter to Ace Gang: NEW GIRL ALERT

Peter Pettigrew: Yeah, we’ve already seen her. You were there when we walked in on lupin in that EXTREMELY compromising position

Remus Lupin: if you don’t drop it im leaving the chat

James Potter: NOT HER

James Potter: ANOTHER ONE

James Potter: SHES FRIENDS WITH ALICE THE LAUGH

James Potter: SHES THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

Sirius Black: you walked in on remus doing HWAT

Remus Lupin has left the chat.

James Potter has added Remus Lupin to the chat.

James Potter: THIS IS IMPORTANT

James Potter: WE NEED A PLAN

James Potter: HOW DO I GET HER TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

Peter Pettigrew: Maybe say hello to her

James Potter: WHAT

Remus Lupin: pete don’t be ridiculous. james would NEVER do something that easy and straightforward

James Potter: i am having a CRISIS here

Sirius Black: please tell me what you walked in on remus doing with the danish girl

Remus Lupin has left the chat.

James Potter added Remus Lupin to the chat.

James Potter: everyone is on intel until further notice

Peter Pettigrew: Yeah okay

Remus Lupin: alright

Sirius Black changed the group name to Lupin’s Nonspecific But Indisputable Lovers’ Tryst With Eddie Redmayne.

Remus Lupin has left the chat.

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Remus Lupin to Ace Gang and don’t you dare change it sirius black: her name’s Lily Evans

Remus Lupin: Marlene McKinnon says she just moved here from Derby

James Potter: omg remus i could kiss you

Remus Lupin: Mar also said her family’s opened an organic shop on high st

Sirius Black: how nutritious

James Potter: no one asked you

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James Potter to Sirius Black: what categories have you come up with for the physical attractiveness test

Sirius Black: skin hair eyes nose figure mouth teeth

Sirius Black: all out of ten

James Potter: fab ill do up a table in word now and go to the library first thing at break to print us 4 copies

Sirius Black: marvy

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James Potter to sirius no one is going to dare you to hack into the school and play gasolina over the loudspeaker at assembly on monday so stop angling for it: which of you fuckers gave me a 3 for my eyes

Sirius Black: it was purely based on their functionality

Sirius Black: you can barely see without ur glasses

Sirius Black: very poor eyes

James Potter: so it wasn’t abt how i look

Sirius Black: i didn’t say that

James Potter: sirius uve rly hurt me

James Potter: what about the 4 for my mouth

Sirius Black: that one was bc you ordered pineapple on the pizza

James Potter: i told u it was an ACCIDENT

Remus Lupin: im retrospectively docking 2 points off every single category for both of you

Peter Pettigrew: Im docking 3

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Remus Lupin to Ace Gang: have to ditch saturday afternoon lads

Sirius Black: um why

Peter Pettigrew: Yeah whats more important than season six of the simpsons

Remus Lupin: i got a job

Sirius Black: where

Remus Lupin: Evans’ Organic Trade

James Potter: YOU GOT A JOB IN EVANS’ SHOP AND YOU DIDNT THINK TO TELL ME

Remus Lupin: im literally telling you right now dickhead

Remus Lupin: also it’s time travel

Sirius Black: it is NOT time travel it is CLEARLY an alternate universe you dithering FOOL

Peter Pettigrew: You’re both wrong its a time loop

James Potter changed the group name to donnie darko is BANNED from the group discourse.

Peter Pettigrew: Just because YOU thought it was a dream

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Sirius Black to Friends Of James Potter Support Group: OMG

Sirius Black: PETTIGREW I CANT BELIEVE UR MISSING THIS

Peter Pettigrew: Whats happening tell meeee

Sirius Black: we just went into lupins shop

Sirius Black: evans wasn’t even here

Sirius Black: she just came out with a cup of tea for lupin and james ACTUALLY screamed,,,,,,,,,,,, evans almost dropped the mug

Sirius Black: lupin just introduced us and shes given him this look like “they better not be loitering” so hes selling me onions so she doesn’t kick us out

Sirius Black: lupin i dont want these and i shant pay for them

Sirius Black: evans is trying to talk to prongs but hes just giving her heart eyes

Sirius Black: she just asked if hes in her french class and he SQUEAKED

Sirius Black: day 13. james has still not spoken a word of english to evans

Sirius Black: day 27. hes said “mfngggg” instead of yes the stupid git

Peter Pettigrew: Fucking hell im still in this stupid mother son bonding thing for another half hour

Sirius Black: MOTHER SON BONDING

Sirius Black: siri set a reminder to mock peter later

Sirius Black: lupin just took the tea and evans has revealed shes in a BAND

Sirius Black: prongs has found his voice (!) and hes making the aziz ansari :D face which, unfortunately, makes him look like a total prat

Peter Pettigrew: Rookie error

Sirius Black: she just told him they’re called the stiff dylans and he just nodded really seriously and said “great name” im going to knock him out if only to stop him embarrassing himself further the stupid git

Sirius Black: fun facts about lily evans: she plays bass and she thinks james has brain damage probably

Sirius Black: JAMES JUST INADVERTENTLY TOLD HER SHE HAS REALLY BIG HANDS AND SHE WAS DEADASS LIKE

Sirius Black: “……………………okay”

Peter Pettigrew: BIG HANDS

Sirius Black: HER CAT just came out and prongs has jumped on the opportunity my boy he did it he managed to steer his way onto a topic he knows something about

Sirius Black: more fun facts about lily evans: her cat is called elizabeth bennet and she thinks james has brain damage definitely

Sirius Black: evans laughed at “we just call him sir jeremy but his real name is sir jeremy cattington the third, prince of purrsia and king under the meowntain” thank god

Sirius Black: he told her about how he used to take sir jeremy on walks by the beach but he ate his collar and his lead why is he like this

Sirius Black: prongs my man you sound like an eharmony profile gone wrong

Sirius Black: she mentioned hr sister,,,,,,,,,,,petunia

Sirius Black: the evans parents had a thing for matching names me and evans have so much in common

Sirius Black: FLEAMONT JUST WALKED IN PETE I CANT BELIEVE U ARENT HERE I SWEAR TO GOD YOU COULD NOT WRITE THIS

Peter Pettigrew: Noooo omg

Sirius Black: monty: “james????? what are you doing here? you hate vegetbles”

Sirius Black: james: “haha dad you’re so funny but of course i LOVE vegetables as we all know”

Sirius Black: monty: “james. the last time your mother tried to serve you broccoli you threatened to run away from home”

Sirius Black: james: “haha i was a picky kid, wasn’t i”

Sirius Black: monty deadass just looked right at evans and said “james that was wednesday” that man is my Hero

Sirius Black: lupin literally ducked behind the counter so prongs couldn’t see him laughing the lucky git prongs is glaring daggers at me

Sirius Black: evans is giving him the WORST pitying look omg poor jam he looks like he did when chelsea lost the final last year

Sirius Black: evans is gone holy shit i cant believe u missed this pete

Peter Pettigrew: :(

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James Potter to Sirius Black: how am i ever going to be able to face her again ??????

James Potter: i love my dad but he can be so beyond the valley of the thick sometimes

Sirius Black: he wasnt that bad

Sirius Black: i dont think evans even took any notice

James Potter: are u SURE my dad hasnt ruined it ????

Sirius Black: j

Sirius Black: it was reaaaally fab

James Potter: fabbity fab?

Sirius Black: with knobs on.

Sirius Black: besides im sure evans will understand

Sirius Black: all parents say stupid things sometimes

Sirius Black: shell probably like u more bc shell feel bad uve got a dad who’s BEYOND bonkerdom

James Potter: you’re right

Sirius Black: i kno :~)

James Potter: i love you but don’t ever send me that face again

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Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: I can’t believe you told evans she has big hands

James Potter: you werent even THERE

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Remus Lupin to Ace Gang :~): anyone seen black

James Potter: hes in detention

Remus Lupin: what for this time

James Potter: handing out onions at assembly

Peter Pettigrew: The onions from sunday??

Sirius Black: no peter, a completely different set of onions

Peter Pettigrew changed the group name to Sirius stop being mean to me.

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James Potter to everyone be meaner than usual to peter: what the fuck is evans doing with snivellus

Sirius Black: wot

Peter Pettigrew: We just walked past them and it looked Really Bad

Peter Pettigrew: She was holding his hand

James Potter: what the FUCK has he got going on that i dont

James Potter: this is fucking ridiculous. snape. who the fuck does he think he is

Remus Lupin: ill see what i can find out at work on monday

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James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: is it weird to like evans’ band on fb if we’re not friends

Peter Pettigrew: Just fucking add her dude

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Sirius Black to James Potter: look ive been doing some thinking and if u rly want 2 impress evans ur gonna have 2 up ur snogging game

James Potter: what the fuck

Sirius Black: dont argue im the best judge of this

Sirius Black: ur like. ok at kissing but i feel like u could b better

Sirius Black: there’s a kid on andy’s block who does snogging lessons after school his name is frank and hes a 7 maybe 7 and a half if u don’t wear ur glasses

James Potter: what is wrong with u

Sirius Black: u say that like ur not gonna look into it

James Potter: fuck off

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Peter Pettigrew to the queen does NOT wear a 44DD: Hes just gone in

Peter Pettigrew: Cant believe neither of you came you missed OUT

Remus Lupin: what happened

Peter Pettigrew: He knocked on the door and this bloke came out and like. Objectively and all but he is Fit™

Peter Pettigrew: And he looked prongs up and down and was like

Peter Pettigrew: "I dont usually do boys but christ if you dont look like the saddest git ive ever seen"

Peter Pettigrew: I gave him a thumbs up on the way in

Remus Lupin: cant believe i missed it

Sirius Black: how did u get the tm thing like that

Peter Pettigrew: Copy it and save it as a keyboard shortcut

Sirius Black: ™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™

Peter Pettigrew: Stop

Sirius Black: no™

Remus Lupin: what have you done

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Sirius Black to James Potter: so its like THAT is it ??????????? my kissing not good enough for you ?????????

James Potter: babe

James Potter: ur my first kiss ull always hold a special spot in my heart

Sirius Black: i need time

James Potter: YOU’RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME ABOUT LONGBOTTOM IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU TWIT

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James Potter, Snogging Sensation to i, sirius black, am giving james potter the cold shoulder: he put on careless whisper

Sirius Black: WHAT

Sirius Black changed to group name to i, sirius black, am now only giving james potter the lukewarm shoulder.

James Potter, Snogging Sensation: and hes from saliva CITY hes got nothing on u babe i promise

Sirius Black changed the group name to in light of new information, james potter and i, sirius black, have reconciled.

Remus Lupin changed the group name to Ace Gang.

Sirius Black: buzzkill

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James Potter to gasolina is a Bad Song: mum’s got a promotion???????

Remus Lupin: tell her congrats

James Potter: it’s back in india though??????????????

Remus Lupin: oh

Sirius Black: you’re not moving are you

James Potter: i honestly don’t know

James Potter: im freaking out

James Potter: come round please

Peter Pettigrew: Holy shit

Peter Pettigrew: Ill pick everyone up

James Potter: they’re ruining my life and they still won’t let me have a party

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James Potter to Rip in pieces james’ life in england: i have a plan

Remus Lupin: here we go

James Potter changed the group name to don’t message me in that tone of voice lupin.

Sirius Black: whats the plan

James Potter: evans likes cats. i like cats. i have a cat. and if that cat got lost i would be distraught. and if evans knew how upset i was shed help me find him.

Sirius Black: but sir jeremy isnt lost

James Potter: evans doesnt know that OBVIOUSLY

James Potter: honestly sirius sometimes i think youre half boy half turnip

Remus Lupin: jesus christ

James Potter changed the group name to im warning you lupin.

James Potter: i “””lose””” sir jeremy but you lot have him at the park then when u see us coming u let him loose and evans will chase him down and shell feel like a hero and shell get so caught up in the euphoria of the moment that shell kiss me and realise that we’re perfect for each other

Remus Lupin: ur insane

James Potter removed Remus Lupin from the chat.

Peter Pettigrew: You GUYS you KNOW im in english right now

Sirius Black: ffs peter just turn your phone on do not disturb when ur in mcg’s class

Peter Pettigrew: But i always forget to turn it back

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James Potter to Sirius Black: i went round her shop but she said she was too busy helping her mum

Sirius Black: rip™

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Lily Evans has sent you a friend request. Accept / Decline

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Lily Evans to James Potter: begged off work. kno id be devo if i lost lizzy. wher r u?

James Potter: the beach

Lily Evans: be there asap x

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James Potter to Sirius Black: plans back on

Sirius Black: oh okay

Sirius Black: small prob™ sir jeremy actually got loose

James Potter: she ended her message with an x

James Potter: does this mean she likes me

James Potter: wait WHAT

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James Potter to Lily Evans: thanks so much for your help on sunday

Lily Evans: it was my pleasure. even if your cat IS mental.

James Potter: im telling him you said that

Lily Evans: noooooooooo

James Potter: so

Lily Evans: ominous.

James Potter: are you glad you moved to eastbourne?

Lily Evans: i guess. it's pretty chill

Lily Evans: have u always lived here?

James Potter: yeah

James Potter: its called gods waiting room

James Potter: because people come here to die

Lily Evans: ur being dramatic.

Lily Evans: i heard eastbournes the new brighton.

James Potter: yeah

James Potter: as if

Lily Evans: idk i like it here. its more peaceful than derby and the beach is soo good for ~song writing inspo~

James Potter: what do you write ur songs abt ?

Lily Evans: idk. life

Lily Evans: the universe

Lily Evans: how reality tv’s brainwashing us

James Potter: wow

Lily Evans: ikr

James Potter: careful, you’re starting to sound like my dad

Lily Evans: i dont mind so much, your dad’s pretty cool.

James Potter: ????

Lily Evans: he comes into the shop a lot.

James Potter: oh my god

James Potter: promise you wont take anything he says about me seriously

Lily Evans: no problem aha

James Potter: what about your dad? does he work in the shop too?

Lily Evans: no, he’s :/

Lily Evans: he died.

James Potter: oh. im so sorry, lily.

Lily Evans: its okay. its why my mum moved us out here and opened up the shop.

Lily Evans: she always wanted one

Lily Evans: eastbourne is such a step back from derby and i like it because it means me and petunia can keep an eye on her you know?

James Potter: i think i understand why you like it here

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James Potter to evans showed prongs her O face: mum and dad are fighting about india again

Remus Lupin: fuck

Sirius Black: ):

Peter Pettigrew: )):

Sirius Black: stop trying to one up me, pettigrew

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Frank Longbottom has sent you a friend request. Accept / Decline

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James Potter to longbottom has the hots for prongs: mum’s just left

James Potter: so thats that then

Peter Pettigrew: Drinks at mine?

James Potter: yeah

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James Potter to Remus Lupin: will you mention how shit snape is and how good i am when ur on shift with evans today

Remus Lupin: no you sad git i will not

James Potter: remus i LOVE her

James Potter: ill buy you a twix from the vending machine

Remus Lupin: alright

-

Sirius Black changed the group name to twix are grim.

Remus Lupin changed the group name to twix are grim but not as grim as curly wurlys.

Sirius Black: you’ve really hurt me, lupin

Remus Lupin: good.

-

James Potter to Remus Lupin: ???????????

James Potter: ur off shift now did you talk abt me ???????

Remus Lupin: no

Remus Lupin: and i already ate the twix so dont ask for it back

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Peter Pettigrew to evans thinks snape is a clingy sod #confirmed: Watch out prongs

James Potter: for what

Remus Lupin: for that, i assume

Sirius Black: im in lunch detention what happened

Remus Lupin: longbottom’s making a come on at james

Sirius Black: McYikes

Remus Lupin: “why havent you accepted my friend request?” – longbottom

Remus Lupin: “because were not friends” – james

Sirius Black: james ur gonna get urself decked one day

Sirius Black: so can u stop being a little shit when im not around to watch thanks

James Potter: no promises

-

Remus Lupin to twin peaks season 3 fan theories club: sirius can you link me to that compilation video of diego luna saying he wants to touch jabba the hut

Remus Lupin: i want to show it to lily at work this afternoon

Sirius Black: ya sure

Sirius Black: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGKrc3A6HHM

Remus Lupin: if i follow that link and it isnt to the video i asked for im not going to be your partner for the history assignment

Sirius Black: ………………..

Sirius Black: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDU3PojzaHk

Remus Lupin: thank you

Peter Pettigrew changed the group name to Gasolina is banned from the group playlist.

-

James Potter to Gasolina (INCLUDING all derivative remixes reimaginings and covers) is banned from the group playlist: EVANS LIKES STAR WARS

James Potter: ???!?!?!?!??!!!!!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

Remus Lupin: james that was three hours ago get with the times

James Potter: but i was at P R A C T I C E

Sirius Black: too bad so sad

-

Remus Lupin to Peter Pettigrew: WHOA

Peter Pettigrew: U watching from chem window?????

Remus Lupin: ya what just happened??????????????????

Peter Pettigrew: Snape tripped up james on the way to goal

Remus Lupin: is he ok??????

Peter Pettigrew: Hes got a bloody nose but hes okay

Remus Lupin: i meant snape

Peter Pettigrew: O na

Peter Pettigrew: I think james is gonna murder him lol

-

Sirius Black to marauding fools quote unquote minnie mcgonagall: mary mcdonald in the year below is having a party tomorrow night n i charmed her into giving us all invites

Sirius Black: well, she invited ME and i guess u lads can come as my collective date

Remus Lupin: im already invited

James Potter: me too

Peter Pettigrew: She invited me three weeks ago

Sirius Black: i got invited after PETTIGREW ????????? who the fuck

Sirius Black: Im Not Going™

Remus Lupin: yes u are

Peter Pettigrew: Yes u are

James Potter: yes u are

Sirius Black: Yes I Am™

-

Peter Pettigrew to Ace Gang: Why did you tell her i lost a SOCK ??????

Remus Lupin changed the group name to kickstarter to find peter’s missing third sock.

James Potter: i had to say SOMETHING

Remus Lupin: james, ever ridiculous under pressure

James Potter: besides, YOU’RE the one who pushed us behind a bush as if she would have thought it was weird that we at SCHOOL

Peter Pettigrew: I panicked

Peter Pettigrew: Lily said she thought snape tripping you was a dick move though  

James Potter: trying to distract me by mentioning evans, huh???

Peter Pettigrew: Is it working

James Potter: i wish i could say no

Remus Lupin: id like to point out lily also said you should go up for the school team

Remus Lupin: so she clearly doesn’t care enough about you to know that you’re already. captain

Sirius Black: lupin stop being a flaky bitch

Sirius Black: thats my job

-

Peter Pettigrew to pres at james’ because its closest to mary’s NOT because its in any way a superior house to any other house accessible 2 the group: Did i just hear ur dad call u a minger

James Potter: if u have 2 ask u already kno the answer

Sirius Black: In Fleamont We Trust™

-

Sirius Black to party boiis: PRONGS IS THAT YOU OUTSIDE WITH FRANK LONGBOTTOM

James Potter: he fucking ambushed me

James Potter: evans didn’t see did she ?????????????????????????

Peter Pettigrew: Nah dont think so

Sirius Black: hes lying she absolutely did

James Potter: fuck this im going home

-

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: i swear to god if you’re the one who just put on gasolina im blocking you

Sirius Black: (:

Remus Lupin: we arent friends

-

Remus Lupin to James Potter: me and lily are going to the pool this afternoon

Remus Lupin: 2:30pm

Remus Lupin: in case you wanted to coincidentally turn up

James Potter: what so i can aggravate her by drowning snape?

Remus Lupin: snape isnt coming

James Potter: oh. why not?

Remus Lupin: probably afraid of water

James Potter: explains why he never washes

Remus Lupin: lmao

-

James Potter to Sirius Black: me and moony are going to the pool and you’re coming

Sirius Black: as in the public pool????????

James Potter: obvi

Sirius Black: excusez-moi, c’est très grotesque

Sirius Black: im NOT going to the public pool little kids pee in that and the chlorine makes my hair go all frizzy

James Potter: i cant believe you’re abandoning me, your best friend, in his time of greatest need

Sirius Black: and you say IM dramatic

-

Remus Lupin to Ace Gang: what happened after we left yesterday???????

James Potter: idk it was weird

James Potter: we did handstands and she made fun of my pale legs ): then she tried to drown me but in like a ~playful~ way

James Potter: and i told her im not with frank longbottom in any capacity and she said “well that’s good then”

James Potter: and then she kissed me

Sirius Black: SHE KISSED YOU

Sirius Black changed the group name to EVANS KISSED JAMES EVANS KISSED JAMES EVANS KISSED JAMES EVANS ! KISSED ! JAMES !.

Remus Lupin: get in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peter Pettigrew: Result omg

James Potter: but then she said she had to go sort some stuff out and that she’d text me

Remus Lupin: oh, james

-

James Potter to Sirius Black: evans should text soon then that’s sorted and we should step up the party plans

James Potter: we’ve got so much left to sort

James Potter: venue, fashion statements, colour scheme

Sirius Black: you should do black and white

James Potter: ! marvy

-

James Potter to Remus Lupin: what does it mean when a girl kisses you and says she’ll text you does it mean she’ll /text you or does it mean she’ll message you on facebook

James Potter: because there’s a big difference

James Potter: remus ???????????????????????????

Remus Lupin: james its 4 in the morning

James Potter: so???????? ur awake arent u ???????????????? what does it mean ??????

James Potter: remus uve kissed the most girls u have to know

James Potter: remus

James Potter: remus please

-

Frank Longbottom has sent you a friend request. Accept / Decline

-

James Potter to Sirius Black: i need a drink

Sirius Black: what happened????

Sirius Black: im omw btw

James Potter: mum called and she wants me and dad to move out to india with her

James Potter: dad doesnt want to go but he also doesnt want to be away from mum any more im freaking out siri i might actually move back to india what the fuck

James Potter: and on top of that longbottom showed up at my house and tried to apologise how did he even get my address

Sirius Black: im here come open the door

-

Alice theLaugh to James Potter: is it tru that ur gay?

James Potter: idk i dont reckon

Alice theLaugh: didnt think u were, lily said u werent

James Potter: really? what did she say ???????????

Alice theLaugh: just that she knows 4 sure u arent

Alice theLaugh: are u going to the stiff dylans gig saturday?

James Potter: not sure yet

-

James Potter to Sirius Black: she kissed me and then left me on read at 3:45

Sirius Black: aw :/

James Potter: shut the fuck up

James Potter: she didn’t even tell me abt her gig in brighton

-

James Potter to james’ wet dream about evans: sirius i cannot believe you told my father about lily evans

Sirius Black: thats not fair

Sirius Black: u kno monty has an uncanny ability to get info out of me

Sirius Black changed James Potter’s nickname to the naff boy who had the sad party that no one went to.

the naff boy who had the sad party that no one went to: stop taking advantage of my vulnerability !

-

Remus Lupin to Everyone sign up for hindi on duolingo out of solidarity to james: watch out lads james has his plan face on

Remus Lupin: brace for impact

Peter Pettigrew: Oh geez

James Potter: fuck off then lupin i wont tell u then

James Potter removed Remus Lupin from the chat.

James Potter: now that we’re alone

James Potter: im gonna make evans jealous

Peter Pettigrew: Im afraid to ask how

James Potter: im going with alice the laugh to the stiff dylans gig

Sirius Black: christ james that’s pretty shitty

Sirius Black: that was lupin

Sirius Black: i say first, what could possibly go wrong

Sirius Black: second, what the fuck is alice the laugh’s real last name

Sirius Black: ive known her for 6 years and i dont know what it is

-

Peter Pettigrew to Friends Of James Potter Support Group: Say aye if ur completely unsurprised to learn i just overheard james respond to alice the laugh telling him he looks good tonight with “thanks, you’re very honest”

Sirius Black: aye

Remus Lupin: aye

Peter Pettigrew: “Alice you make me laugh like a loon on loon tablets”

Sirius Black: #yikes

Sirius Black: i have the shot

Remus Lupin: take it

-

Alice theLaugh to James Potter: i had a great time tonight

James Potter: haha me too

Alice theLaugh: best night of my life x

James Potter: o.k. see you at school on monday

-

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: so ur the one who put on gasolina at mary mcdonald’s party.

Sirius Black: what makes u say that ?

Lily Evans: you shouted “play gasolina” no less than 11 times last night.

Sirius Black: that doesnt sound like me

Sirius Black: are u sure it wasnt lupin ?

Sirius Black: that worldly bastard he sure does love puerto rican music

Lily Evans: i just texted him and he said “im surprised sirius even knows what puerto rico is”.

Sirius Black: fucker

-

Sirius Black to James Potter: oi cheer up

Sirius Black: what are you thinking about?

James Potter: poor alice

James Potter: i keep seeing her face when she tried to kiss me

James Potter: god i feel like such an arse for leading her on

-

James Potter to Alice theLaugh: you okay? you looked pretty upset in maths

Alice theLaugh: hope your plan worked

James Potter: what?

Alice theLaugh: marlene mckinnon overheard black telling lupin that you only went out with me to make lily jealous

Alice theLaugh: you’re a heartless user

Alice theLaugh: what you did, that’s just pants, that is

James Potter: i’m really sorry, alice

Alice theLaugh: i really thought you thought i was a laugh

-

Sirius Black to James Potter: i told you im sorry

Sirius Black: are you really going to ignore me over this

Sirius Black: like for real james pull your head out of your arse for twenty seconds and realise how shitty you’re being

Sirius Black: all your scheming and pretending

Sirius Black: honestly it’s no wonder evans never fucking texted you

James Potter: don’t talk to me again.

-

Lily Evans to James Potter: you’ve really pissed off a lot of people.

Lily Evans: alice is really cut up. she’s my mate, james.

James Potter: i didnt mean to use her.

James Potter: you never texted me when you said you would

Lily Evans: i handled it really badly, i know

Lily Evans: things got messy

Lily Evans: i didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

James Potter: so you were thinking of breaking up with snape and then you were gonna text me?

Lily Evans: lmao what

Lily Evans: severus and i aren’t together.

James Potter: but you hold his hand

Lily Evans: i hold marlene’s had too but that doesnt mean im dating her.

Lily Evans: you know how much he hates you and it makes it hard, james, but yeah, i was gonna text you.

Lily Evans: and then i saw you with alice at my gig and i was gutted.

Lily Evans: but that’s different now.

Lily Evans: i thought YOU were different than that james but you’re not, you’re just some fuck off rich kid who only thinks about himself.

Lily Evans: i think it’s probably best if you don’t message me again.

-

James Potter to Remus Lupin: had a talk with lily. turns out shes not actually with snape.

Remus Lupin: i actually do not care, james. work things out with sirius or fuck off.

-

James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: i think i might have just gotten my mum fired

Peter Pettigrew: Go on, i guess

James Potter: i went to her office and talked to her boss and i think i just made things worse

Peter Pettigrew: Yeah, you’re getting pretty good at that

James Potter: i guess i am, yeah.

James Potter: im cancelling the party and ive told dad i want to move to india

James Potter: if either of the others ask

Peter Pettigrew: I’ll pass it on.

-

James Potter to Lily Evans: hi.

James Potter: i know you didn’t want me to message you again and i don’t blame you for that but i have to say this and then it’s done.

James Potter: what you said really hurt, but you were right. it wasnt me. it was beyond pants, and i really am sorry. i messed everything up with you, and with alice and with sirius and i guess i just got caught up in my own idea of how our lives should be and i got carried away

Lily Evans: i cut all ties with severus last night.

James Potter: oh.

Lily Evans: yeah.

Lily Evans: you know, i wrote a song about you.

James Potter: really?

Lily Evans: its called Bitch In A Uniform.

Lily Evans: i wrote it when i was pissed off with you.

Lily Evans: but i still like you, james. even though you’re mental.

James Potter: no you don’t

Lily Evans: i do.

Lily Evans: i cant stop thinking about you. i was hoping

Lily Evans: maybe

Lily Evans: we can go out?

James Potter: oh, fuck

Lily Evans: ?

James Potter: im moving to india

Lily Evans: what the fuck is wrong with you

Lily Evans: you’re so

Lily Evans: random

James Potter: 100% legit this time.

Lily Evans: that’s a goddamn shame.

Lily Evans: im at the beach if you wanted to come hang out.

-

James Potter to Sirius Black: feels really shitty without you

James Potter: im so so sorry

James Potter: can you ever forgive me?

Sirius Black: ur gonna have to buy me at least 16 curly wurlys

James Potter: its done.

Sirius Black: happy birthday you massive tosser xxx

-

joe to the jonas brothers: operation stun-the-pants-off-james-with-an-amazing-surprise-party is a go

joe changed the group name to Friends Of James Potter Support Group.

nick: oh thank GOD

kevin: I was wondering how long you’d hold out

nick: you’re both so stupid

-

James Potter to prongs is finally legal ;): cant believe all you wankers are busy tonight

James Potter: like i know we were all in a fight but you ALL have plans ????????

James Potter: dad’s taken pity on me and is taking me to a club this is the saddest 18th ever

Remus Lupin: sry fam

Peter Pettigrew: Lol

-

JAMES POTTER’S SUPER SECRET 18TH BIRTHDAY PARTY Private º Hosted by Sirius Black and 2 others.

312 going º 167 maybe 27 March 19:30 – 28 March 8:00

Details james is a prat but hes our best friend so lets all get together and show him that being legal to drink doesnt take away the fun of it !! event will have an open bar courtesy of mr & mrs p

theme is black and white !

only one rule : DONT TELL JAMES ABOUT IT anyone who does will be blacklisted from the party loool good luck telling your grandkids about how you didn’t get to come to the most important party of our generation

-

Peter Pettigrew to Fleamont Potter: The eagle has landed i repeat the eagle has landed

Fleamont Potter: Thanks son :~) Jem’s going to be so excited to see his mum.

Fleamont Potter: We’re up on the balcony by the bar, send her our way :~)

Peter Pettigrew: Will do, sarge

-

Lily Evans: happy birthday xxx hope you like ur present.

James Potter: my present?

James Potter: OH MY GOD

James Potter: YOU WROTE ME A SONG ?!?!?!

James Potter: lily evans i honestly think i love you

-

Marlene McKinnon to Remus Lupin: we can’t hear properly from up the back what did snape just say

Remus Lupin: “james potter is a girl-nabbing letch who can’t keep his slutty minx hands off other peoples’ girlfriends”

Marlene McKinnon: WHAT

Remus Lupin: “you’re just a big fat minging minger with horridious eyesight and the opposite of a haircut”

Remus Lupin: don’t worry, black’s filming the whole thing im sure it’ll be on youtube asap

-

Sirius Black to Ace Gang except all of us are legal™ now: id be lying if i said i remembered anything past monty and effy swing dancing

Remus Lupin: im fairly certain i walked in on frank longbottom and alice the laugh fucking in the mens

Remus Lupin: but i, too, am fuzzy on the details

Peter Pettigrew: I woke up at the lido. No idea how i got there

Remus Lupin: i just found this in my camera roll

Remus Lupin set a photo.

Peter Pettigrew: What the fuck

Remus Lupin: i have no memory of taking this and im glad of that fact because the camerawork here is shameful

James Potter: YOU’RE KIDDING

James Potter: YOU DON’T REMEMBER PETER FINDING A RAT IN THE BINS BEHIND THE CRICKET CLUB

James Potter: AND NAMING IT INIGO MONTOYA

James Potter: PETER YOU STILL HAD IT WHEN I LEFT YOU FOUR HOURS LATER

Peter Pettigrew: I mean that definitely sounds like me

James Potter changed Peter Pettigrew’s nickname to cryptid: ratboii.

cryptid: ratboii: Cheers

cryptid: ratboii: Where did you get to, anyway?

James Potter: me and evans went to the beach

Remus Lupin: cuuuuuute

Sirius Black: and you didnt invite ME

James Potter: sirius you were passed out by 11 o clock

Sirius Black: WHAT

James Potter: yeah, evans poured you a quadruple shot of jager after you played gasolina through your iphone six times in a row

Sirius Black: you convinced me to drink JAGER??????????!?!?!?!??!!!!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?

James Potter: i told you it was sambuca black and somehow that was okay with you

Sirius Black: wtf™

-

James Potter added a life event. DIDN’T move to India 56 likes

James Potter commented: love reacts only pls

Peter Pettigrew commented: A N G E R Y R E A C T

James Potter replied to Peter Pettigrew’s comment: ???????

-

Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: I did duolingo every day even though ur not actually moving and im not gonna let it go to waste

Peter Pettigrew: बकरी मेरी प्रेमिका है

James Potter: peter you know i. cant read hindi i can only speak it right

Peter Pettigrew: ):

James Potter: i showed mum and she laughed and said it was cute

Peter Pettigrew: (:

-

Sirius Black shared a video to James Potter’s timeline: “Stiff Dylans performance interrupted by GREASY RACIST exclusive”

Lily Evans commented: tag urself im the girlfriend

Remus Lupin commented: im peter in the background trying to get out of the shot but sirius keeps moving so hes still in frame

Sirius Black commented: im prongs’s slutty minx hands

James Potter commented: im the look on snapes face when lily kisses me

Peter Pettigrew commented: Im james drawing attention to the fact he conned lily into kissing him because he thinks weve all somehow missed him telling us every two seconds for the last three days

-

James Potter is in a relationship with Lily Evans. 346 likes

Peter Pettigrew commented: Love react

Sirius Black commented: jealous react

Remus Lupin commented: L O V E R E A C T

[stardustandbucky]

bullet points is gonna be easiest for this bc I’m all over the place this time (this may also turn a bit into rambling about mythology in general at some points, whoops.) this is so very long overdue, but better late than never right?

YAS THE MEADOW FROM THE BEGINNING (that feels like eons ago what on earth? im gonna go back to reread the first chapters soon because that feels like a whole other world, and I need to refresh my memories of them.)

you know what would make things so much more surreal with this story? visuals. even if for just the dresses. i would cry.

James being surprised at Demeter having fallen in love with a mortal man is kinda putting me off (it also might have been that way because she’s a woman or something?) because the male gods never were questioned about their conquests and how deep those went. Zeus and Poseidon (but the former especially) would go through women left and right, and they didnt even limit it to humans.

honestly when i was reading the whole baby part i was gasping and my jaw dropping left and right. and i think it was morning the first time i read it on friday and man, my day was made because of such a good fruitful update.

also, demeter is a bitch. but that’s old news.

also, i really like the idea of the fetus not being dead. doesn’t necessarily have to be steve, just a mere demigod or nymph there to complicate things. (fuckin hell that sounds morbid of me)

“Y/N remembers finding her mother kneeling at the hearth of the fireplace, begging Eileithyia for forgiveness as she shoved a knife into her swollen stomach, remembers the sharp smell of copper as blood spilled over the floor, remembers her mother’s heartbroken scream, a sound Y/N will never forget. It was the sound of her mother losing herself forever.”

the imagery in this (^) legit had my mind flashing to the exact scene, and it hurt me a whole lot because of how real it felt, to say the least. or maybe ive just read too many dystopian novels.

i need a protective!sam scene.

woman. your writing. i fuckin cant. why am i relating to everything so much.

“She found a place she loved that loved her back.” emotions. too many.

stubborn little shit James, ruining the jeans on purpose.

okay but. this just occurred to me. if she was in that town for three generations or longer, then no way in hell would steve be her demigod sibling because the timeline just doesnt add up. this is illogical.

throwing a wild theory out here: what if the baby demeter ‘killed’ was actually steve’s mother/father/grandmother/grandfather? that would explain the whole steve being drawn to her but not really, because of the distant blood relation with the mortal matings getting in the way of how strong the blood connection would have been and such.

did you just not mention his shock and insecurity at him being the first she loves just to hurt me on purpose????

i love planning. i love wedding planning even more.

i also adore it when people write bucky with braids, it’s such an endearing concept it makes me so very fond. so thanks for including that.

also what the fuck james when did you turn into such a sentimental romantic sap? having the wedding in the place you first met? good smart sappy thinking.

can we have James purring, reduced to a giggly mess, at one point because of seph’s ministrations with his hair? and lumina being there for it and smug as shit about it too? that would be a sight to see.

irrelevant, but I’m now craving strawberries.

so now that youve had him explain to her the trials, are we going to be seeing her watch him being a judge in action during them? because that would be really interesting.

aww it’s so cute that they’re taking turns playing with each others hair it’s so damn cute.

i don’t know how to word what I feel right now. the fact that he admitted his fear out loud in itself is someting to ponder over, let alone that he elaborated on it and compromised with her.

i appreciate the fact that he realised that she has a say in what they do, unlike if the situation was with her mother- she wouldn’t do that. i don’t know why I correlated this with that but im just saying.

it felt like they were teenagers with the making out against trees and it was hella cute man

the desperation ( “Let me do something for you. Please, James.” ) she’s emitting to please him is such a palpable thing because it’s such a dom thing to say but she’s doing it in sucH a submissive way I cannot.

same goes for him, “Have your way with me, little one.” : sub thing to say in a very dom tone. I’ve never come across this kind of thing and it’s so intriguing oh my lord, this concept is so very interesting.

I knew he was insecure but I didn’t know it translated to his physical looks?? I thought it was only about his character and magic powers and personality, and that he’d be the definition of cocky when it came to his looks because come on why the hell wouldn’t he be?? I am very hurt??? “He wasnt used to such gentleness yet.” What the actual fuck woman that actually hurt? Which bitch do I need to fight about this? Is it that ex who resulted in such damage to my precious baby hellgod? im actually so mad because that relationship seems so toxic, and if i were seph (which technically I am because this is a reader insert) I would actually fight this bitch. How dare she(/he?) hurt him and make him doubt himself so much. he doesn’t deserve this. you dont understand, I’m actually sad and angry about this.

“Y/N could get used to hearing him beg.” this is coming back up soon and I can’t fucking wait for it.

“All James wants is to fist her throat and claim her like the animal he is.” I saw that coming exactly the paragraph before, but i didn’t see the concept coming, so I was very pleasantly surprised.

also, I couldn’t help but question if they have alternate animal forms? With you calling him animal (albeit, when he’s in his own thoughts) and her a bird a few paragraphs ago? could be just me though, because of this one book series that I keep throwing in everyone’s faces.

yes. the king kink is finally properly canon-ing. it cant get better than this.

at this rate, I don’t think there are going to be any tables left to be turned because they’re going to be all fucking broken.

I lied. in the beginning, when I said that I’m all over the place (in more ways than one), I lied. because I can’t seem to get myself together to keep a single coherent thought in my mind before the other is demanding attention. im also dying because I need the next chapter, that damn teaser is still on my mind, I’ll have you know.

dissonance [12]

summary: Wedding talk commences. || mythology au || hades!bucky x persephone!reader

warnings: we gets a seph backstory, James is still not a morning person, we learn a little more about his enigmatic ass, this gets smutty towards the end because I literally cannot help myself

notes: This is divided in lots of different moments throughout the day, and It’s kind of a filler chapter, in a way. But there is also some important information, too. 

Keep reading

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #4: "I made James quit accidentally because I rigged a random.org" - Brian

So.... BC quit. Don't know why (and I am not gonna enquire, I just know he is hella busy). But ya I don't know what this means going forward but im gonna roll with it. If i'm not flexible, then that is not a good winner. so ya looking forward toi see whatever happens, and if Madigan go to tribal again, all i know is that i will still be safe cause james and I will just get Keaton involved

I’m SHOCKED BC quit because I thought I was going home lmao so now I have no idea what the hell is gonna happen I’m praying we swap tbh so I can meet up with Brian or Bryce who I know sbsbsbs.

Okay I'm super sad BC quit. They seemed like such a sweetheart. And I always hate to see anybody quit. I'm usually kind of annoyed about quitters but I hope BC is all good and it was just because they were busy... :(

This game has been really good to our tribe. We havent gone to tribal. I have a majority alliance of 4. Everyone is active and does 100% on the challenges. Its been good. Havent had much luck in idol hunt tho so probably someone already found it. Still nervous for the challenge. I want to keep winning but the bad thing in the eyes for the other tribe.

The game is always changing... and someone quitting just shows how quickly everything can change in the game. Plans set forward destroyed... alliances ruined just due to what the game might throw at you at any given time. It’s always scary but you know what... sometimes you gotta look at something bad and say hey let’s test my gameplay a little bit... that is what I’m good at and that is what I plan to do!

So we have swapped. and im not with james. This is hateful huh. first bc quitting today and now this. fuck this. and im with marie and keaton as well. ffs. oh well. time to get socialising and do this shit!

I KNEW A SWAP WAS COMING!!! I felt it deep in my bones. Do sharks have bones? I actually don't think they do. Oh well. I KNEW IT WAS HAPPENING. Obviously I'm super nervous now because I was in a great spot before. But luckily I still have my #1 Brian. And Charlie who is a part of my Four of a Kind alliance and he has an idol. Plus Anna and I hopefully can work together like we have in other games. I just hope she trusts me. Ugh and I freaking hope we win this challenge. Because OG Dinah members definitely have a target as the last intact tribe. SO much is going on in my little gay brain.

Okay my brain is going a mile a minute with this swap. I'm reconnecting with Anna. She seems excited to see me and she told me she isn't super close with Jayden or Nick so that's amazing. I told Brian about Charlie's idol. So this is good. We're surviving.

omg so we swapped and im so sad nathan isnt here but thats about it. happy to be away from jayden since he IGNORES me. when i read these after the game im gonna seem so obsessed huh KJDFSHFAKSJD. but anyway. dennis is here and hes one of my fave ppl ever! hes just so nice. we shared idol guesses and i really wanna go to the end with him. matt is pretty cool and we both stan the good place and naomi smalls so i feel like we'll be good allies. marie is a queen and super nice but maybe not super active but we both love ari so yay. naptime maynor isnt really liking my humor JKASDHF but thats ok. and kirby guy is alright too!! nicole seems nice enough if not a little standoffish but hoping for the best :s love this tribe overrall tho and really hoping to avoid tribal

I got ZType for the duels! Blessed. I can do well in this game and I can't be the reason our tribe loses in the RARE chance we do. So i'm feeling okay.

Too annoyed to write too much right now. But yet another org, and yet another swap fuck! Honestly, this is ridiculous. We have three members on either 7 person tribe, and even if we do manage to succeed in surviving another non-dinah is going to replace the voted out member... you can't make this shit up.

I knew the swap was coming. But im with Dennis which is good. He has some connections with Bryce and Nicole so hopefully they work with us. Keaton is also here like oh Boi. 👀 going to see if he wants to work with me this time. Having him around could help me in this game.

James quits by leaving the server and ignoring everyone.

https://gph.is/1neigCU my mood at my initial alliance members both qutiing time to die?

Ok so Klick quit which is kinda upsetting cuz I was grinding tf outta that challenge and I lowkey played a game with him about a year and a half ago and kinda wanted to reconnect. BUT Nathan is now on the tribe which is like the nest possible scenario. Also we have Anna so hopefully we have an easy majority. Also I assume Dennis has began running the game over on the other tribe because he is great and will probably end up voting me out at f9 or something. But YAY F14 IM NOT OUT YET ANSNSKDKLZLXKC

MY IMPACT?  I made James quit accidentally because I rigged a random.org to save Charlie from doing Multitask and then James had a fit because he got it and was sleeping so he couldn't pick... I... can't believe how I'm WINNING this game?  Anna, I hope you get my winner's crown READY because I'm doing the damn thing!  I am sorry I made him quit because I didn't think he would kjHDAJK... but wow...

Although I am in the minority right now based on tribal lines, Nathan is someone I've wanted to work with for like eons, and I feel so much more comfortable with him on my tribe than James and letting Annabelle hold my fate in her hands.  I think I have an upward battle, but I know Charlie has the idol and will warn Sharky in the case I need Charlie to use it on himself.  The two from my OG tribe I got stuck with is by far the only two from Dinah that I would go out of my way to protect in this game and knowing Charlie has the idol... ugh... I don't even have to DO anything and tea gets served to me.  Love Sharky.. love Charlie.. love Nathan... can't wait to thrive in this game now!

So the swap, i thought would have been really bad for us original dinah people but so far it looks like we might pull through. Nicole told by Dennis to me that she is willing to work with us but im a little sketch because she hasnt really responds to me exept like one message and then it stops. Im trying to get info from keaton and see if he wants to work with me. I have to keep an eye on him cuz he’s messy af. 👀 I think we could be a strong tribe so hopefully we win the next immunity. I rather have my no going to tribal streak going. I need to start talking to our new tribe members as well.

well james left so we got nathan i'm not upset about it i love nathan he's my person this game i think and we swapped with sharky on the tribe and i just played with sharky and we're in majority so things are really looking up here for me tbvh i feel like sharky might want to get rid of one of my OG tribe people but we'll see how it goes.

This game is weird man. I was so ready to play 2048, but Kirby Boi #2 was a quitter, so now I'm not playing 2048, both people I trusted QUIT, and Dennis is on my tribe. I am going to lose really soon. But hopefully I can find an in on my tribe and survive.

i just want an advantage. but oh so now 4/5 of my tribe is together and im just here.. love that! not sarcastic!! miss nathan tho! so far clicking with dennis still and naptime. hes a true carly rae jepsen fan i asked his fave and he said sour candy which is like (bad) but not well known so he must actually like her!! nicole left me on read.. love that! sarcastic!! and yaa wooh loving the new tribe that guy who quit bc of multitask kind of a flop but go off now im closer to merge!

This morning finding out that James was removed was suprising. It sucks cuz i was enjoying doing the ztype. I got to 7,100 which i think its good but idk if it actually was. But im ready for this challenge and hopefully we could win in it. Definately dont want to go to tribal.

Okay Nathan is AMAZING. I love him. And I'm totally going to work with him for sure. i'm so glad he didn't flop. And Honestly I'm glad James quit so that I could work with Nathan. This lip sync challenge is going to be silly. I offered to do the editing which honestly is a big undertaking but I like to be in control and It's definitely going to paint a target on my back but if we win it'll be so great.

OMG SO FUN CHALLENGE THAT I HATE WOOH. i love this but i hate it. idk. i REALLY dont want to do a queen song so i pretended to not know who they are NNN but all that caused was my tribemates shading me... and its like... matt says beyonce is just "ok" and i need to listen to real music.??? just say u hate women and go. JK. maybe. but ANYWAYS. love dennis still and naptime is so funny love his pins! nicole left me on read some more so i sent her demi lovatos GET BACK music video and she finally responded with two 5 word msgs and ghosted again so um really loving that! kirby guy also doesnt reply a lot but thats ok totally loving only talking to 4 ppl!

edit: quitters are shitters

Our song is Dont stop me now by queen which is awesome. I just need to find the time to work on it later today or tomorrow morning but have an idea what imma do so thats good. Still talking to keaton but no game talk it. Hopefully soon because im still feeling sketch on this tribe. I dont wanna get voted out pre-merge. *knocks on wood* ✊🌳

Making the video was really fun. Had more fun and felt more comfortable after making the ones before were i wasnt as comfortable. This is one of my fav comps now. Cant wait to see how it turns out.

UM?? I'm CACKLING?? So Sharky showed me the clips he got from Nick and Jayden, and I'm just so confused how straight men get any sort of action when they're as stiff as them?  I mean I guess they're not ugly so that probably helps, but neither of them are good at using a camera... So I'm just SO ...

I have nothing else to talk about other than how fucking STIFF the straight men are in their lip sync videos, so whew... love visibility…

worst comp for me ever like i was fine doing 2048 i could have probably helped with that but like a music video? YIKES that's not my thing at all i didn't know what to do or what to help especially since i'm so not gonna get on camera >.< i hate being useless if we lose like ugh lmfao

Okay so this challenge was...a disaster. I asked everyone to just do the song and then I'd make it look good with editing. That didn't work out. And I had more trouble editing than i thought. I feel like I dropped the ball and I'm not sued to being someone holding my tribe back. I tried to hide our bad lipsyncers. Charlie got sick. And something happened in the rush of uploading it that gave me a weird crop and a couple of cuts that I screwed up but I ran out of time. I'm feeling really disappointed in myself.

Okay we lost. This sucks. two of the judges called out the edit/effort specifically so that doesn't feel great. But I'm going to look at this as a positive. Maynor and Dennis stay safe on the other tribe. And Now I can use this to make some real connections and alliances on this tribe. Like Chad Michaels I will rise from the ashes and be the gayest winningest phoenix you have ever seen.

Ok so me Nathan and Nick should really stick with Annabelle. Easy majority makes easy game which makes happy Jayden

So we lost the challenge, but I don't feel too... bad about that.  I mean if I go home, clearly I fucked the fuck up and felt too confident... but I think that I feel... good?

Firstly, thank you to the judges for recognizing my SNAP in the lip sync.  I wasn't sure they were going to do my rap in the challenge, so I'm glad it was in there hehe... Now... going to tribal is a part of the game and the strategy has been lacking up till now, so I'm excited to jump in and finally explore that part of the game.  It'll be a nice start to my resume, following accidentally make James quit LMFAO.

Right now, I think I'm in a solid spot.  Nick said he wouldn't vote for me and I mean.. we haven't talked much, but I expect him to not lie for no reason... and I'm going to make sure to increase our conversation and expand on what HE wants to happen to just have that tea under my belt.  I think Jayden is who I would like gone, and I think I'd be able to gather the votes to get that to happen.  It's not like I have anything against him personally, but I just feel it's hardest to talk to him because him and I are not alike from what I've gathered.  I'm the uber gay and for the uber gay and the Travis Scott fanboy to get along?  Would be shocking.

I like Annabelle and Nathan a lot and I don't think they'd throw votes for me.  I have my little final 2 deal going on with Nathan, but highkey I don't think I'd keep him as my #1 over Marie, if I get to the point where I meet with her, so I have no problem cutting him or Annabelle in the future.  I do think it'd be better to work WITH them, especially for now, and I think they feel similar sentiments, but I don't know for sure!

But now we come to the real people I would like to protect going into this vote, Charlie and Sharky.  I love my OG Dinah babies so much, and I will make sure their names aren't the targets of this vote.  I think Sharky has set himself up well, and since he told me Charlie has the idol, I think we should especially be OK.  I also think Annabelle and Nathan seemingly want to work with us, so .... whew...

ALSO, this is a mid-confessional update, but 2 alliances were formed.  We have the "Tea Party" alliance with Sharky, me, and Nathan (the gays) and then the "Dinah Dudes" alliance with Charlie, Sharky, and me (OG Dinah's) and then I think another sub-alliance with the "Tea Party" and Annabelle is coming to fruition, so kjHDKAS... ya... I think I'm SET.  I can't wait to wreck shit!

So we swapped tribes and here I am with 3 from my original tribe, 3 from the other tribe and Bryce from the third tribe. Bryce and I know each other, and by that I mean I just blindsided him another org... oops! Hopefully he doesn’t come after me but who knows because I literally did not participate in this challenge at all! We still won though so hopefully I’ll get to redeem myself in the next one

My arms are SORE from pulling all my best Freddie Mercury moves out for this lip sync, I am SO tired. But I honestly am so glad i gave my 100% effort because I truly needed to pull through for this tribe and show them I’m not just a sitting duck. (Is that the term? Idk.)

Either way I’m glad we all got to bond through this and here’s to being safe ANOTHER round (I’ve never gone to tribal so wooooo!)

i want an IDOL or sth. but um dennis is so fun love that man. always asks daily to work with me. like idk how many times i have to tell him that he is literally the only person on this tribe to pm me first without me having to (NOT EXAGGERATION). marie and matt? no reply from marie in like 30 hours and matt hasnt been talking to me since i said idk queen. kirby guy? replies with 1 word answers and taste in music offends me NNN. nicole? who. all she does is ignore me and like somtimes she replies and ill reply in the SAME LIKE 10 SECONDS, and she'll just leave me on read JKADSFHAKSJ. comes back like 9 hours later with no reasoning on why she stopped talking and with just a "hi", and thats if im lucky! idk i hope we swap soon or merge. like the whole preswap i was praying for a swap to find some good allies bc all i had was nathan really, and now i just have dennis. maybe by merge ill have a whole 3 allies??? oh wait theres um maynor hes cool i always have to pm him first but hes at least responsive and can hold a conversation! black bear diner goes off and i WILL be eating there the next time in houston

We lost, which was hardly surprising when I saw the other tribe's video lol. So now it's not looking good for us dinahs... but luckily I have the idol up my sleeve hehe. Gonna tell Brian and Sharky so that we can use it to save us…

I was so happy that we won immunity. Stil feeling a little sketch on this tribe. Injust hope that the vote isnt charlie, brian, or sharky. And especially sharky cuz he’s my duo. Now dennis, nicole, and i are the only 3 to not go to tribal yet. Its pretty awesome amd kinda scary.

https://youtu.be/BfzG9xjtCRw

Down with the straights!  I still think Jayden is going, but if Charlie ends up going I'm JUMPING because that means I've been lied to by people that want to claim to be my final 2... I do trust in Jayden going but we shall SEE!

So the tribe lost and I’m a bit nervous because I’ve only heard one name... I would have loved to saved my idol until I needed it but I think it’s very likely my name could be the second one going around... we shall see what happens though.

Ugh okay so I was hoping for a simple easy vote. But as usual there is just a little bit of drama. Nick told Anna/Nathan that he has a legacy advantage to be used at F13/F6 which is trash because that means if we lose next time he'll use that and be safe. But if we vote him out he'll gift it to Jayden and we have the same problem. Plus Charlie is wigging out because he has a bad feeling about the vote, which is totally fair because he isn't talking very much. And Nick told Anna her name got thrown out which is just untrue. This is just kind of messy and not in a cute way.

Jayden is voted out 5-2.

[hinanaha]

1-170 :)

lmfao james i swear to god

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? i wish i was 160cm cause i wanna be short and also then my weight would be healthy lmao2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) we all know i want a norwegian forest cat, and also a lizard would be cute3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? long flowing dress or skirts w blouses4: What was your favorite video game growing up? pokemon5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: my cats, what i will eat and how much a wanna be picked up and spun around one day6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? it wouldnt say anything it`d just have the crying laughing emoji like deepfried on red tape7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? u didnt say anything for this so ill state my opinion on meat which is yuck8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] none rlly fit me tbh9: Are you ticklish? yea….. 10: Are you allergic to anything? nope11: What’s your sexuality? lesbian (femme lesbian specifically)12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? coffee, tho i like all13: Are you a cat or dog person? CAT, im very picky abt dogs14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? elf15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? idk like i dont rlly watch youtube for anyone inparticular i just watch whatever16: How tall are you? 170cm17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? opal, just cause its my middle name and opals are my favourite gemstone18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] about 50kg (ik im underweight if anyone is concerned btw im fine its a sideaffect of one of my medications)19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? yes20: Do you like space or the ocean more? i love sharks and jellyfish so the ocean, however i am fucking scared of octopuses21: Are you religious? nope, never have been22: Pet peeves? men.23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? why does diurnal sound like urinal, but i like the day so that24: Favorite constellation? the pot thing cause its easy to spot25: Favorite star? the biggest one there is26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? i dont rlly see much of a use for them27: Any phobias or fears? arachnophobia, and aslo the dark 28: Do you think global warming is real? um yes definitely, because im not stupid29: Do you believe in reincarnation? i mean there aint even close to enough science backing or not backing it so i couldnt say, im neutral 30: Favorite movie? idk31: Do you get scared easily? id say more anxious then scared, like im a very jumpy and shaky person32: How many pets have you owned in your lifetime? idk like 20+ (chickens count)33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] yes34: What is a color that calms you? peachy colours and whites35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? i would love to hike somewhere someday tbh i think itd be rlly magical, and i love nature so much36: Where were you born? Melbourne37: What is your eye color? blue grey38: Introvert or extrovert? introvert39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? to an extent40: Hugs or kisses? both at the same time41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? honestly kinda wanna see my nan rn for some reason42: Who is someone you love deeply? definitely my mum, she is the most important person to me43: Any piercings you want? i want a nose piercing, maybe a small decorative ring44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? yess i love them, i rlly want a tattoo someday45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? no i dont want to46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! i don`t have one47: What is a sound you really hate? i cannot stand the sound of animals licking themselves48: A sound you really love? wind chimes49: Can you do a backflip? i could if i wanted to50: Can you do the splits? no51: Favorite actor and/or actress? ashley johnston52: Favorite movie? this was already asked lmao53: How are you feeling right now? pretty chill but also kinda sad for no actual reason54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? im feelin a burgundy colour tbh55: When did you feel happiest? nothing specific rlly56: Something that calms you down? music57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] i have ADD also p bad anxiety58: What does your URL mean? mango boba yum59: What three words describe you the most? anti-social goblin witch 60: Do you believe in evolution? i do biology so yes61: What makes you unfollow a blog? they post stuff i dont care abt or triggering content62: What makes you follow a blog? pretty picture63: Favorite kind of person: someone who makes me feel special/loved64: Favorite animal(s): cats, bees, lizards, crows65: Name three of your favorite blogs. idfk tbh66: Favorite emoticon: im not on mobile but the sparkling heart one67: Favorite meme: i dont have a favourite68: What is your MBTI personality type? Infp/intp69: What is your star sign? taurus70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? no they cannot71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? pyjamas72: Post a selfie or two? icbb73: Do you have platform shoes? yes74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? i have a double jointed shoulder on one arm75: Can you do a front flip? yes76: Do you like birds? yes chirp 77: Do you like to swim? no lol it sucks i cant breath well when i swim and it freaks me out78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? ice skating, i love it, would take up lessons if they were available79: Something you wish didn’t exist: flies80: Some thing you wish did exist: giant domestic cats81: Piercings you have? just simple ear piercings82: Something you really enjoy doing: doing creative things w friends83: Favorite person to talk to: u already know its the council 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? funny mem85: How many followers do you have? 168 (i had 470 on my old blog)86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? ye but not always87: Do your socks always match? yes88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? yeah89: What are your birthstones? idk90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? surprising but id be a fox not a cat91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? lavenders baby92: A store you hate? bendigo iga, its shit93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 1 otherwise my hands shake94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? neither tbh95: Do you like to wear camo? ii guess if it looks good96: Winter or summer? summer97: How long can you hold your breath for? a pretty long time actually, once held my breath for 3 minutes underwater98: Least favorite person? my dad99: Someone you look up to: no one100: A store you love? i dont like kpop anymore, but the owners of happytown were always so nice to me so i rlly like that store because of that101: Favorite type of shoes converse102: Where do you live? austrlia103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? im vegetarian, but i eat mostly vegan food, i rlly like animals and dont like the idea of eating them, also eating too many animal products can be unhealthy 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? opal105: Do you drink milk? ye but not on its own106: Do you like bugs? yes, silly creetures107: Do you like spiders? im scared of them108: Something you get paranoid about? i dont rlly get paranoid much, but i sometimes get rlly paranoid something be watching me109: Can you draw: ye, reblog my art pls @yumeuwu110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? i cant remember lmao111: A question you hate being asked? i cant think of anything112: Ever been bitten by a spider? nope113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? yeah its pretty nice114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? both i guess,  tho respectfully to their matching seasons115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: id cuddle my future gf rn :`)116: Favorite cloud type: .. w… poofy cloud117: What color do you wish the sky was? yellow would be pretty, but not piss yellow cause that`d be weird118: Do you have freckles? yea faint ones119: Favorite thing about a person: their lips, lips pretty120: Fruits or vegetables? veggies121: Something you want to do right now: sit on a warm hill in silence122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? sky123: Sweet or sour foods? im more of a savoury person124: Bright or dim lights? dim, sexy125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? i mean it aint impossible126: Something you hate about Tumblr: pointless discourse127: Something you love about Tumblr: nice people128: What do you think about the least? idfk129: What would you want written on your tombstone? oh my fuckin god she fuckin dead130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? no one, but im always ready to punch something131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? im very very selfless, which is nice but also makes me rlly sad sometimes132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? nah133: Computer or TV? computer134: Do you like roller coasters? hell yeah, they fun135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? i get motion sickness136: Are your ears lobed or attached? lobed137: Do you believe in karma? i guess138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? probably a 7, like im p cute139: What nicknames do you have/have had? uhhh anepeace (die mr flanagan that nickname is so ugly)140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? no, not that desperate yet (no offence to those who do have them im sure ur lovely)141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? yeah i see a psychologist monthly and also psychiatrist 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? id like to say good143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? recieving144: What makes you angry? assholes145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 1146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? girls ;3147: Are you androgynous? nah148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: i have nice shoulders149: Favorite thing about your personality: i try to be considerate of others 150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. idk151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? honestly fine w this one152: Do you like BuzzFeed? some things153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] dont have one :((154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? nah155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? yea, prefer people playing w my hair tho156: What embarrasses you? anything that puts me at the centre of attention among strangers157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: loud noises158: Biggest lie you have ever told: i dont rlly tell lies so notin159: How many people are you following? i cbb to check160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 7000+161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? 1162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? idfk163: Last time you cried and why: i cried cause i saw a floofy cat164: Do you have long or short hair? short hair165: Longest your hair has ever been: hip length166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? most religious views ive heard make no sense when compared to science so i dont rlly believe it167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? nah168: Do you like to wear makeup? sometimes169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? no im weak170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? ye

[gulescamisade]

Minnesota:  Day 1

[Jake, Roxy, James, and the cherubs will find themselves in individual cells with singular windows and slots in their doors.]

JAKE: -YODEL LANDS in his own cell, completely thrown out of sorts after he lost sight of everything in the crackle of green energy. Tumbles largely, panicked and fearful. Everything happened so fast, Jake was so sure he was raring in the engineering labs a second ago! Sits on the ground stupidly as he lands right on his ass.- OOF.

JAKE: WHAT THE—

JAKE: WHAT THE JIP JUMPING JACK CRACKERS JUST HAPPENED??? ANYBODY? -cries out to nobody in particular. He was alone... and immediately starts checking for his sylladex.-

JAMES: -thrown off balance as he lands precisely in the center of this cell. When he blinks the light out of his sight, James goes to check for his sylladex. John's voice still rings in his ears and he has to see... can he message anyone? Does he have his communicator? He is massively worried right now.-

JAMES: -For that matter, can James hear Jake yowling in the distance?-

ROXY: =loudly= MMMMMMMMMOHMYGOD

[No communicators can be found on anyone in this group. Looks like they got boned in the midst of travel.]

[The yowling is vaguely audible.]

JANE: -slides open the slot on Jake's door, peering inside.- Looking for something?

JAKE: -Was halfway to scrambling to his feet when the face appears. He gawks and then falls back on his ass.-

JAKE: My pistols you scarlet faced o hera! And i dont mean to be rude madam but—

JAKE: I dont take it youre here to jostle the keyhole HUH??? -Jake... why do you words.-

JANE: No. I'm not.

JANE: You have been carefully chosen for an important role in my new empire. Your mouth leaves much to be desired in the face of your nigh limitless potential.

JAKE: Your empire?? NOW WAIT JUST A DIDDLY DARN MOMENT MISSY. -scrambles to his feet, going for the window with a large puffed chest.-

JAKE: Ill run my mouth all i like as far as im concerned! Youre keeping A FREE THINKING MAN captive for some nefarious purpose! I think ill speak my piece!!!! >8V

JANE: -Casually shuts the door window with a satisfying THUNK.-

JAKE: -There was NOTHING satisfying about this thunking. NOTHING.-

JANE: Oh, Jake... -walks away-

JAMES: -Was that Jane? James cautions a peek through the window, hoping to catch a glance of her.-

JAKE: -goes back to charlie brown AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAURGHing.-

JAMES: ...

JAMES: -shuffles at the door. Unhappy that he cannot reach the crying infant man.-

ROXY: =Same..... she wants to get through these walls or in the hall.. what's in the hall?=

JADE: -Seems like SHE'S in the hall. Growling outside Roxy's door and then she slides something under it before opening the door window.-

JADE: woof

ROXY: ..... =She was gonna try to poof in the hall but it seems like... that's a bad idea right now..... glances down=

ROXY: ok

ROXY: are u gonna boof @ me or like..... =squints= wtf happened 2 you baby :'(

JADE: i am just fine, roxy

JADE: in fact i am feeling better than ever

JADE: but what happened to me isnt the issue here

JADE: whats relevant is whats happening to you, or rather, what it means you will be doing for her imperious condescension

JAKE: -hears the muffle of voices thru the door and 👂straining to hear.-

ROXY: o hell to the en oh

ROXY: im not doin shit for her especially since its like super glarin'ly obvi that this is some dumb shit cooked up by her lackies >:(

JAKE: -bangs at the door.- ROXAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! -awoo...-

ROXY: AND shes got my animals caged up like ANIMALS and this is a shituation i give a big fuck u to

JADE: sorry, but that answer isnt in the cards

JADE: it doesnt matter what you want to do because you dont have a choice

JADE: open the file

ROXY: =Makes such a stank face, looks at the file= stfu condy

ROXY: =She'll get him and everyone else out of here.... picks up the file and opens it=

JADE: -GLITTER FLIES EVERYWHERE. It's a heavily blinged piece of fileage.-

JADE: -Inside is a picture of a weird knobbly spike ball, and instructions that more or less read that Roxy needs to make it.-

JAKE: -sits his butt at the edge of his cell, screwing up his eyes. Come oooon hope powers. Hope powers GO. Go nOW.-

JAKE: ...

JAKE: -Nothing happens. He's too worked up and as he opens his eyes, the walls seem to close in on him. Jake huffs, trying his damndest not to think about other things that are rushing to him suddenly. If he was safe, where was everyone else? What if they were hurt and there was nothing Jake could do?? Nothing except---

JAKE: Sniff. 8'( -starts to blubber to himself and hugs his knees now that the bravado was fading.- (Boo hoo...)

ROXY: >:T

ROXY: tf is this shit

JADE: its your new job

JADE: to make the matriorb

ROXY: =opens her mouth= .... see i cant even like say my nastyass snappy comebacks because i love jade 2 much >:'C

ROXY: the gist is.... suck a butt

JADE: dont worry, im pretty sure i can take them

JADE: though i wouldnt advise doing so anyway

JADE: you may have reservations but i have none

JADE: and i dont think youd like me much when im angry >:K

JADE: in fact im sure of it

ROXY: then tell me who alls here and ill do my best

JADE: sorry, but thats not part of the agreement either

JADE: how about you do your best and i wont zap your eyes out?

ROXY: like i wouldnt look badass with robo eyes >:T

JADE: im sure you have plenty of other organs you would miss

ROXY: =sinks under the view of the window.... almost catknifing= like u miss whatever tf this thing is?

JADE: that doesnt matter!

JADE: it isnt such a bad deal to obey

JADE: with your powers, im sure things will be just fine for you

JADE: and i wont have to hunt down the rest of your friends where i dumped them and make you watch them bleed out, either

JADE: dont worry, i can wait until you get started

JADE: or at least until i start to get hungry......

ROXY: =Oh no... her weakness... her friends= tch

ROXY: then ill make u snausages or whatever tf...... ill C wut i can DO

JAKE: -curled up in a large ball back in his cell and slumps over. Gently crying himself a sweater a tears. He's crying but cheering for u, Rox.-

JADE: good

JADE: thats what i like to hear

ROXY: i kno snausages are like ur fav

JADE: BARK

JAMES: ....

JAMES: -squints at the cieling as he hears a bark.-

ROXY: that means jades still in there....

JADE: grr

JADE: im jade

JADE: a better and worse jade than youve ever known

ROXY: a worse worse jade

JADE: thats right

JAKE: -huddled up and drops into an uneasy sleep. Maybe things will be better... when he wakes up. This is all a bad dream.-

JAMES: -sits and waits quietly. Still having no idea what the hullabaloo this is all about. But he will be STRONG for the sake of others who are probably worried about him.-