#AND NOT JUST CONSIDERED AN EXTENSION OF WOMANHOOD

[engagemythrusters]

“ladies and theybies” ohhh my goooodddd just call me a slur at this point

[la-pheacienne]

I saw Sara Hess saying that 1) Daemon and Rhaenyra feel like the same person in different bodies and 2) Daemon is a man so he can do whatever he wants (🥺) while poor Rhaenyra is stuck in a castle giving birth so she feels helpless. This does come across in their fight scene. This is so incredibly stupid it is actually painful.

First of all this "same person different bodies", cognitive dissonance thingy where a woman completely identifies with a man that is her relative but can't live the way he does is a Jaime x Cersei thing. Exclusively. This is their theme and cannot be applied to Daemyra. And that's because:

1) They are twins. The "same person in different bodies" vibe makes sense here. Self-explanatory. Daemon and Rhaenyra are both Targaryens and they have this obvious, visceral connection (in the book anyway lol) but they don't literally feel "the same person" to the point that they are unable to understand their individuality, in the sense Hess uses. At least there is nothing in the source material to suggest this. Fanon territory.

2) Cersei never held the same amount of power and authority Rhaenyra did because Cersei was not a Targaryen heir to the throne of the 7 kingdoms. Cersei was just a noble woman, a queen consort and a mother of a king. Rhaenyra was a Targaryen heir and Queen of the 7 kingdoms. Not gonna open the debate of whether or not a monarch can have more legitimacy than any other monarch. I think we can all agree, by following common sense, that the circumstances under which Cersei and Rhaenyra obtained power are substantially different so the authority of these two women is substantially different.

3) For that very reason, the dynamic that Cersei has with any other male in her life is not comparable to the dynamic Rhaenyra has with her father or husband/uncle. Viserys made Rhaenyra heir to the throne. Daemon is her consort, and he is set to serve her. The situation is entirely different with Cersei and her relationship with her father, brother, husband, and son.

3) Rhaenyra was eventually able to marry the man she wanted. The man she wanted. She was also able to have the family she wanted. Not the same situation with Cersei. This is extremely important lmao. Rhaenyra could have had any man she wanted, anyone, and she chose that man. For some reason the show wants us to forget this.

A lot of words to explain that Rhaenyra feeling "trapped" in her womanhood as opposed to Daemon enjoying his male privileges, and the frustration that causes her since she feels "they are the same person" with different gender roles, is an extremely reductive copy paste from Jaime x Cersei that completely misses the mark by neglecting that 1) Rhaenyra is the Queen and Daemon serves her, 2) Rhaenyra is in a marriage she chose freely against everyone's wishes, 3) Rhaenyra has the family she chose and is perfectly satisfied in her role as mother.

Book!Rhaenyra does not feel "trapped in a castle making babies while Daemon is out there fighting". Book!Rhaenyra is overjoyed with the fact that she can rule in Dragonstone, be a Queen, be a mother, raise her children, and on top of that have a man like Daemon at her service, as her sword and an extension of her will and power. Not only that's not causing her frustration, that's precisely what she likes about him and their relationship lmao. Yes they have a final fatal conflict, but not at that stage in the narrative. I'm sorry if this doesn't seem "progressive" enough to Hess or to you guys.

Also even in the context of the show Daemon's arguments are actually solid. Rhaenyra accuses him of not letting her consider the terms of their foes... girl, what terms? That her sons will become cupbearers? Lmao. Also, who is raising an army for her? Who crowned her? How did we go from show!Daemon fucking up with BxC to questioning whether or not he even recognizes her as his Queen? How did that happen? This fight feels so entirely detached not only from book canon but also from show canon.

For all these reasons their fight scene was incredibly stupid despite the good performance of the actors, and their bond, that should be at the core of the narrative, is hollow and flimsy. It's also incredibly boring and unsexy, sorry. It would have been better if they had at least established a firm, passionate relationship beforehand but they didn't even do that. Now I don't even know why she married him in the first place. It's not clear. I never saw genuine passion between them. Y'all love can yap about the gEnDeR rOLeS all you want but the truth is that the writers can't write romance to save their lives.

[alovelywaytospendanevening]

On a January day in 1948, a hefty book filled with turgid scientific prose, and scores of tables and charts, landed amid an unsuspecting American public. The tome reported, matter-of-factly and without judgment, that American men were up to all manner of sexual exploits behind closed doors, and that the minds of huge numbers of them were churning with taboo desires.

The book, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, by biologist Alfred Kinsey of Indiana University, was an utter revelation for a populace living in a time when masturbation was frowned upon, oral sex (even between husband and wife) was illegal in some states, and homosexuality was considered an extremely rare, criminal deviance.

Overnight, millions of American men realized that they were not lone freaks for doing what they did.

Based on thousands of exhaustive, confidential interviews with churchgoers, college students, prison inmates and more, Kinsey reported, for example, that 92% of men had masturbated and half of married men had had extramarital affairs. A full 37% of men said they had had some form of homosexual experience at some point in their lives.

Five years later, Kinsey’s second volume — Sexual Behavior in the Human Female — came through with more revelations. A full 62% of women, for instance, reported they had masturbated, about half of the women said that they had engaged in premarital sex, and two-thirds of participants said that they had experienced overtly sexual dreams. The book was widely attacked as an affront to the dignity of womanhood.

Kinsey’s work did more than reassure people they were not alone: It highlighted a disconnect between certain laws of the land and actual sexual practice. “Everybody’s sin is nobody’s sin,” Kinsey once said.

Sex researchers say Kinsey’s biggest contribution was the sheer cataloging of variation. But his most-famous findings revolve around the issue of homosexuality. He devised the famous Kinsey scale — a numerical gradation of levels of homosexual orientation, with 0 representing those who were exclusively heterosexual and 6 being exclusively homosexual. The scale is still used by researchers.

Kinsey also reported that 10% of the men he interviewed said they engaged in predominantly homosexual activity between the ages of 16 and 55. “That changed the thinking about homosexuality,” says Dr. Jack Drescher, a New York psychoanalyst. “If it was more common than people thought it to be, then perhaps it was what we would call a normal variation of sexuality rather than a form of mental illness.”

Perhaps above all, researchers say Kinsey’s work and the later studies it inspired showed social scientists, public health workers, therapists and geneticists just how much there was and still remains for them to study.

Based on work such as Kinsey’s and Evelyn Hooker’s, the American Psychiatric Assn. voted in 1973, after intense debate, to drop homosexuality from its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Today, experts believe that Kinsey’s precise numbers were inflated, partly because the people he interviewed to draw his conclusions — especially in the book on males -- were not nationally representative. A posthumous reanalysis of his massive dataset found that when interviews from prisoners and other sources likely to over-sample the number of homosexual participants were removed, the percentage of those with exclusively homosexual experiences fell to 3%; another 3% reporting that such experiences were extensive but not exclusive. Those figures are in line with more recent studies.

Kinsey, meanwhile, has been accused of, or credited with — depending on one’s point of view — doing more than laying the groundwork for a new field. He radically altered the way society thinks of sex, and ushered in far greater sexual freedom.

“His influence was tremendous — it opened up the field,” says Vern Bullough, founder of the Center for Sex Research at Cal State Northridge, and author of Science in the Bedroom: A History of Sex Research.

Full article: "The Kinsey Effect" [Los Angeles Times]

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[conartisthaiji]

saw the barbie movie today and one of my favorite things was how the movie handled sasha's character and her role in the story (and by extension gloria)...spoilers for the barbie movie below 💗

the thing about barbie dolls is that they are largely considered a kid's toy. little girls play with barbie, and barbie inspires the girls to grow up and become leaders. this is what the barbies in barbieland believe. barbie even goes to weird barbie and weird barbie tells her that the girl who plays with barbie must've done something to her, and barbie has to fix whatever is wrong in that girl's world to save herself.

when barbie goes to the real world, she immediately starts looking for a kid. she sees visions of a woman and her daughter, and watches as the daughter grows up and eventually becomes "too old" to play with barbie and other toys. and within these memories, she gets her answer: a school. barbie has to go to a school and find the girl that plays (or played) with her.

except she finds the girl in the memory, and sasha hates her. and sasha doesn't like playing with barbie anymore. and barbie walks away from her in tears.

and then barbie gets picked up by the mattel workers as sasha is getting picked up from school, but sasha doesn't care about barbie's fate. it's gloria who says that they have to go after her (because gloria's the reason that barbie's here). and so gloria and sasha go after barbie, but sasha is literally just along for the ride, because she doesn't have a driver's license and is at the mercy of her mom's whims.

and that's the thing about sasha. she's just a kid; she's not the one who has to save barbie and barbieland. gloria was the one who started giving barbie thoughts of death and cellulite. gloria is the one who has to give the speech about womanhood to the barbies to help the barbies snap out of the brainwashing. sasha is there to reconnect with her mom and barbie and even her own femininity (side note: i also really appreciated how sasha's appearance changes over the movie. when we first meet her, she is your typical emo middle schooler: dark jacket, pants, her hair is long and unstyled. she progressively gets more and more colorful as the movie progresses, and by the end, sasha's hair has been curled and pinned up, and she's wearing a sparkly pink dress.)

so the thing about sasha is this: if barbie was a typical kids movie, sasha would be the hero. sasha would be the one who has to save barbieland; she'd be the one who gave barbie cellulite and thoughts of death and feelings of impending doom. the movie even sets up that expectation in the beginning: stating that barbies are for kids, weird barbie showing a smaller figure next to barbie as she explains that barbie has to find the girl who plays with her, barbie herself assuming that the little girl in gloria's memories is the one she has to find. but barbie's not a kids movie, and so sasha is ultimately allowed to be a kid. she doesn't need to save anyone, except maybe herself. she hangs out with her mom and the barbies and offers snarky comments because she's 13. and gloria's the one who does the saving.

[endlessummernight]

i really truly dont understand what straight women are talking about like 90% of the time when they're discussing womanhood. this is not to shit on straight women's experiences but it's very eye opening to realize just how much of being considered a "Real Woman" is contingent on heterosexuality. relationships with men are SUCH a big focus of What It Means To Be A Woman to so many people. even the word woman is just the word man with some extra letters tacked on.

when i realized i had no interest in men, my gender crisis began because what is woMAN except an extension of man? the word woman does not just refer to "adult human females" as some people believe (and as i myself once came close to believing). the word woman means being a man's accessory. i have no interest in men. this is why i don't feel like a woman. i feel like a lesbian.

[tiny-moss-patch]

i recently started getting my nails done (second time ever a couple days ago) and it actually turned out to be a really big deal for me. i grew up in a very stressful environment and have been anxious and depressed pretty much as long as I can remember. I've also been biting my nails and picking on the skin around them for most of my life. my foster parents had some creative and cruel methods to try and get me to stop but none of them worked. they just made me miserable (and I can't stand either mustard or horse radish now) so anyway, i never had pretty nails and it never was a big deal for me either, or so I thought. about half a year ago i started to really explore my own womanhood and feel comfortable with being a woman. and so i got that idea why not get my nails done I'm in a place where I can afford it and I don't work with my hands. first time was terrible and overpriced but still i was enchanted with how my nails looked! they were never this long or pretty in my 25 years of being alive. second time I went with a friend and this time my actual nails were long enough that I didn't need those like plastic extensions you glue on. and wow, i love it so much! they're so lovely and don't look fake at all. and like i never considered that looking at my hands and feeling joy and admiration was even something that was possible let alone something i would actually want. just something i was thinking about.

[some-french-asshole]

(I'm sorry I messed the ask and now it's a screen shot ;-;) link to the original post here

BUT YEAH

I finished it 2 days ago and OH MY GOD???

I'm not going to spoil anything here, but I think my opinion on if this manga was truly "gross and perverted" and is clearer now. It is gross, it is intrusive, but that's the point. Girlhood is a terrifying thing. We see how "Marie" sees her own body and the ones of her friends: she can't help objectifying them because she herself is already so detached from her own. At the beginning of the story, Mari's body is this sacred, pure thing that no man should see yet is also constantly ogled at without considering what it's like to be this body. It's a subject that is extended upon during the entire story and to me, that's a genuine proof that the grossness is not just meaningful, it tells you about how you, the reader, perceive the female body.

As an afab person, I know what it's like to face all the difficulties mari faces with her teenage body and the fact it feels so real prooves that Oshimi does understand womanhood and what it implies. He said in later volumes that he actually didn't want to become a woman, that his mind had changed, but I still find his views on gender and his portrayal of it to be very interesting as the question "do we inhabit a body or are we a body" as been stuck in my head for a while.

I'm still very disturbed by some of thw things he puts at the end of the volumes (if you've read the 14th volume of Blood on the Tracks you know what I mean). It just feels like I'm hearing things only his therapist should hear. It feels intrusive and voyeuristic and I think that's the point. It isn't meant to be "enjoyed", to me it works as a full extension of the story, it keeps you in that mind set of a person trapped in a strange, uncomfortable situation. I personally live psychological horror and thrillers and that's why I started reading his works, which I absolutely adore, but for me it's a very safe way to experience horrible things: it's fictional. But when he tells the reading about his life, I felt genuinely sick in the stomach, like I wasn't meant to read this, like it was too personal for anyone to read this

[hailmaryfullofgrace55675]

#op yes i feel this and i have encountered/been more aware of it since starting hormones and facing the discrepancy of very Valid #self-identified ​trans and nonbinary people who have no desire to transition or nonconform in any way and it’s like ok where’s the trans? #and those of us who have no way to hide the transsexualness of actual medical transition not simply a minor social transition like pronouns #idk this is an adjacent thing i’ve noticed and it hurts me #HOWEVER i think it is largely an online thing and i’m able to just be like ok this person is a bit insane and not living in reality and i #can dismiss it. like these people are 25 or younger and will probably grow up and realise they’re being incredibly obtuse and #in a basic way very offensive

fully not who or what this post is about. the people trying to make “afab transfem” type label arrangements happen are, in plenty of cases, nonconforming w/r/t their assigned genders and/or biomedically transitioning or transitioned - in fact, one prominent subtype is people who went through extensive physical and social transition and are now moving again toward the gender they were previously assigned. the problem with them is not that they are not trans enough or not transitioned enough, the problem is that they understand the social system of gender and the social phenomenon of transness poorly and are promoting specific unhelpful redefinitions of the terminology of assigned gender, trans womanhood, transfemininity, trans manhood, and transmasculinity.

i condemn biomedically transitioning transer-than-thou complexes and consider the reemergence of the term “transsexual” to mean biomedically transitioning and/or transer-than-thou a grievous misstep of the last few years of online trans community.

announcing a change of pronouns is not a minor step in social transition and social transition is not a minor, partial, or lesser form of transition. in fact, between someone who is socially transitioning without biomedically transitioning and someone who is biomedically transitioning without socially transitioning, the out trans one is the socially transitioning person! social transition and biomedical transition are both things that trans people can do, but neither of them are what makes trans people trans. neither is an effective proxy for radicalism, quality of theory, or commitment to trans life.

what someone looks like to you online is a poor gauge of how they feel, what they think, what they want, and what their life is like.

for a few years now (like since at least 2021) i’ve been occasionally seeing isolated individuals try on “AFAB trans woman”, “AFAB transfem”, “AMAB trans man”, “AMAB transmasc” and dreading the possibility of this becoming an inclus/exclus thing where there’s a huge vicious debate and a ton of people develop calcified stances that it’s “valid” because they are straight ticket voters on uses of language being “valid”. i’ve recently come across multiple fairly high-note promotions of each of 1) yeah, sure, anyone can be a trans woman (normal understanding of the language of AGAB, replaces meaning of “trans woman” with “someone who is a woman and also trans” or, worse “someone who identifies with the vibe of trans womanhood”) and 2) your AGAB is whatever you decide it is, maybe even a neolabel (completely opposite the concept of gender assignment at birth). i’m crossing my fingers that these uses somehow go no further, or that if they do the ensuing fight blows over quickly.

as an individual topic, it’s frustrating because it points to the complete failure on a lot of people’s parts to absorb or understand the basic premises of this idea of transgender.

we live in a world where, when humans are born, the adults around them decide what role they are going to have in a system of male/female boy/girl man/woman. usually they pick based on a quick look at the child’s external genitalia. if the quick look doesn’t match their idea of what a baby boy or baby girl is supposed to look like, they might or might not do further physical investigation, and either way they will pick a role for the child. if the child doesn’t look one of the ways expected, they might enforce this decision through surgery to conform the child’s body to their ideal for the role they chose. whether the decision was immediate or after deliberation, whether surgery was performed or not performed, this process of role picking is coercive. a first act of coercion in a childhood of coercion in a lifetime of coercion.

children are raised to the roles they were assigned. sometimes this involves the deliberate imposition of a lot of restrictions and expectations about how the child will look and behave, sometimes fewer, sometimes almost none but that they will agree that they are what the adults said they were. even if it is only the last, the child will sooner or later feel the weight of much greater expectations, because they will become aware that wider society says girls should look girly and do girl things and boys should look boyish and do boy things. sometimes it becomes apparent that a child’s body is growing to not match the adults’ idea of what a male body or a female body is supposed to look like or do. if this happens, the adults might allow or force the child to switch roles, might ease or double down on their expectations, and might or might not give the child a choice in whether they biomedically intervene in the child’s physical development.

sometimes, a person grows to refuse the role they were assigned and adopt a new one. sometimes they only refuse the role they were assigned. sometimes they only adopt a new one. sometimes they only refuse the expectations and restrictions. sometimes they refuse being a boy-male-man or girl-female-woman. sometimes they first do this as a child, sometimes as an adolescent, sometimes as an adult. sometimes they conform to the expectations and restrictions for the role they adopt on purpose, other times less so, other times not at all. sometimes they seek to change their body. rejecting one’s assigned role is an opportunity to escape the pain of the old coercion and find new joys in new, chosen ways of being.

to adopt a new role is simultaneously to adopt that role and to adopt the social position of a role-adopter and the social position of one-who-has-moved-from-that-role-to-this-role. these social positions come with expectations and restrictions in addition to the ones associated with the role adopted. having rejected the assigned role, more possibilities are available to a person. there is a great deal of free choice available for those who are willing to make it. sometimes there are special roles that are never assigned at birth and can only be taken on by someone conscious enough to choose.

gender assignment at birth isn’t an identity, it’s an act of coercion. trans womanhood isn’t a feeling, it’s a particular confluence of adoption and abandonment in a social system premised on gender assignment.

the prospect of discourse fights over “AFAB trans girls” and etc. is unpleasant because they’ll suck super bad and exhaust tons of people for nothing, but more present and disturbing is this even being an issue. understanding the nature of gender assignment is such a keystone in trans theory that i genuinely do not know what models of transness people are functioning on without it.

[doctorrupalichadha]

Best Gynecologist in South Delhi | Women’s Health | Dr. Rupali Chadha

Women’s health is of utmost importance, and finding the right gynecologist can make a significant difference in the quality of care you receive. Dr. Rupali Chadha is widely recognized as one of the Best Gynecologists In South Delhi, offering expert services in women’s healthcare. With her extensive experience and patient-centric approach, Dr. Chadha has earned a reputation for being a leading Best Gynecologist in South Delhi, providing compassionate and effective care.

Who is Dr. Rupali Chadha?

Dr. Rupali Chadha is a highly experienced and trusted name in the field of gynecology. With years of experience, she has become one of the top choices for women seeking Gynecologist in South Delhi. Dr. Chadha specializes in a wide range of services, from routine gynecological check-ups to complex treatments for conditions like endometriosis, fibroids, and infertility. Her commitment to ensuring the well-being of her patients has made her one of the most sought-after gynecologists in Delhi.

Comprehensive Gynecological Services

Dr. Rupali Chadha offers a wide range of services to address various aspects of women’s health. Whether you’re seeking preventive care, treatment for a specific issue, or simply need expert advice, Dr. Chadha provides comprehensive care to women of all ages. Some of the key services include:

Routine Gynecological Check-ups: Regular check-ups are essential for maintaining good reproductive health. Dr. Chadha ensures that her patients receive thorough and detailed evaluations to prevent any potential issues.

Pregnancy Care: From preconception counseling to postnatal care, Dr. Chadha provides complete guidance and medical support throughout the pregnancy journey. Her personalized approach ensures that each patient receives the attention they deserve.

Menstrual Disorders: Dr. Chadha specializes in diagnosing and treating menstrual irregularities, including heavy bleeding, painful periods, and missed periods. She takes the time to understand the underlying causes and offers tailored treatments.

Infertility Treatments: Dr. Chadha is known for her expertise in infertility treatments. She works closely with couples to identify the root causes of infertility and offers solutions that best suit their needs.

Adolescent Gynecology: Dr. Chadha provides expert care for young girls who are just beginning their journey into womanhood. She offers guidance on menstrual health, sexual health, and general well-being.

Menopause Management: Dr. Chadha offers support to women going through menopause, helping them manage symptoms like hot flashes, mood swings, and other hormonal changes with personalized care.

Why Choose Dr. Rupali Chadha?

There are several reasons why Dr. Rupali Chadha is considered one of the best gynecologists in South Delhi:

Expertise and Experience: With years of experience, Dr. Chadha has treated thousands of patients and has gained expertise in various aspects of gynecology. Her vast knowledge allows her to provide accurate diagnoses and effective treatments.

Patient-Centered Care: Dr. Chadha is committed to providing care that is tailored to each individual. She listens to her patients’ concerns, understands their needs, and offers solutions that fit their lifestyle and preferences. Her approach is always empathetic, ensuring that patients feel comfortable and supported.

State-of-the-Art Facilities: Dr. Chadha practices in a clinic equipped with the latest medical technology and facilities. This allows her to offer advanced treatments and diagnostics for her patients.

Confidentiality and Privacy: Dr. Chadha understands the sensitive nature of gynecological care and ensures that all consultations and treatments are conducted with the highest level of confidentiality and privacy.

Holistic Approach: Dr. Chadha takes a holistic approach to women’s health. She not only addresses medical conditions but also focuses on overall well-being, offering advice on diet, exercise, and mental health to ensure a balanced lifestyle.

Personalized Care for Every Woman

One of the key factors that set Dr. Rupali Chadha apart from other Best PCOS Doctor in Delhi is her dedication to personalized care. She understands that every woman’s health journey is unique, and she takes the time to develop customized treatment plans based on individual needs. Whether it’s managing a chronic condition, addressing a temporary issue, or simply seeking guidance on women’s health, Dr. Chadha’s approach is always tailored to the patient’s specific requirements.

Patient Testimonials

Many women who have consulted Dr. Rupali Chadha have shared their positive experiences. Patients often highlight her caring nature, professionalism, and the personalized attention they receive during each visit. Women have expressed how they feel comfortable discussing even the most sensitive issues, thanks to Dr. Chadha’s non-judgmental approach.

“Dr. Rupali Chadha is the best gynecologist in South Delhi. She listens attentively to all my concerns and provides me with clear and thoughtful advice. I feel completely at ease with her care,” says one patient.

Another patient shares, “I’ve been to several Best Gynecologist in Delhi for PCOS before, but none compare to Dr. Chadha. She has helped me manage my PCOS condition effectively, and her friendly approach makes every visit a comfortable experience.”

Advanced Diagnostic Techniques

Dr. Rupali Chadha uses advanced diagnostic tools to assess her patients’ health. From ultrasound scans to lab tests, her clinic is equipped to perform a wide range of tests that help in the accurate diagnosis of gynecological conditions. Early diagnosis is key to successful treatment, and Dr. Chadha ensures that every patient receives the most accurate and timely results.

Prevention is Better Than Cure

Prevention plays a crucial role in maintaining good health, and Dr. Chadha emphasizes the importance of regular check-ups and screenings. By detecting potential issues early, many conditions can be managed more effectively or even prevented. Dr. Chadha provides patients with the necessary tools and information to maintain their health and avoid complications in the future.

Convenient Location and Appointment Scheduling

Dr. Rupali Chadha’s clinic is conveniently located in Female Gynecologist in South Delhi, making it easily accessible for women across the city. She offers flexible appointment scheduling, ensuring that patients can receive care at a time that suits them best. Whether you need a routine check-up or specialized treatment, Dr. Chadha’s clinic provides a convenient option for your healthcare needs.

Conclusion

When it comes to women’s health, Dr. Rupali Chadha is one of the leading Best Gynecologist Doctor in Delhi. With her vast experience, compassionate care, and commitment to women’s well-being, Dr. Chadha provides exceptional services to women of all ages. Whether you’re seeking routine gynecological care, treatment for a specific condition, or advice on reproductive health, Dr. Rupali Chadha offers comprehensive solutions tailored to your needs. Choose Dr. Chadha for expert care and a personalized approach to your health.

[lunarsilkscreen]

Women in the Military

"Women just aren't tough enough to cut it."

With my previous post that equates "womanhood" with "servitude;" what about women in the military? There aren't any AFAB women in U.S. special forces units after-all...

There's a reason that Men were only selected to serve in the military and not women in the first place.

This reason is particularly nuanced and complicated, and it starts with; Well, Women can only give birth once a year, while Man-Sperm is a dime-a-dozen.

Since sperm is ubiquitous; therefore an AMAB man is worthless unless proven somehow. Either by Divine proclamation, Status, Wealth, or survival. Especially the survival of service.

A woman is valuable property for the continuation of the species. While men are only valuable for their services.

This is what [Eugenics] as a concept serves to analyze. And is the incredibly insidious dark side Epigenetics serves to create.

If stress is passed on genetically; perhaps it's better to breed less anxiety prone humans. Perhaps only certain men should reproduce? The uh... How-you-say: breeding studs.

If we're talking about colonizing other planets; it's better to breed little twink-fembys because they weigh less and would therefore take less resources to colonize other worlds.

If we're talking about staying on the planet; what does a big muscular species provide except to waste Resources?

If we're talking about Electrons; all electrons, big small always even out to be the same mass.

If we're talking about breeding programs; We need look no further than European Royalty; where the need to couple only with other royalty has served to produce the effects of in-breeding and unfaithfulness to one's partner.

But this about Women in the Military and not Epigenetics.

Why aren't more women serving. Why aren't more in special services?

It's not because of physical ability or the need for a tampon every now and again.

It's because of the social stigma that women face.

Because of the necessity, culturally to pair off and get married; women not only have to face the difficulty of the training, they also have to face the dozens of men that want to marry them.

Who may or may not use the conditions of the specialized training for nefarious unseemly purposes.

Which would disqualify the woman; even if it wasn't her fault.

Social Stigma encourages "Men" to act on their impulses instead of taking a situation for what it is.

And because of this; the military originally deemed women unfit to serve, not because of themselves: but because it would mess with unit cohesion if a woman were in a Unit.

Consider one singular woman in a unit, and all the men Fighting over her *instead of* the enemy?

And this is *also* why homosexuality was taboo in the military for so long.

It was thought that a gay man would serve to take the place of woman in lieu of women. And hence why Trans Women are *also* seen as unfit.

Because the Anima (Social Perception) of a closeted trans woman would serve to influence men to act on those impulses in lieu of a ln AFAB woman.

That's what Gender Studies serves to understand. Why would certain Men be included in a person's perception of "Sexual Female"?

And why Men get Dysmorphia when they perceive themselves to be more feminine. So they aren't seen as women by *other* men.

But here's what "Regression to the Mean" means; in order to breed a "superior" breed of animal or plant; it requires extensive inbreeding.

As with Banana Trees and Certain breeds of Dogs; you can tell the process had made it hard for them to survive. And Nature/God forces that regression to the mean. The best functional human being is low-energy and high-paced. Or Anxiety Prone.

An insect colony, who is all inbred sees similar debilitating effects; they serve but one purpose: breed and become food for a larger creature.

The more versatile and inherently better strains of Produce are ones that have been cross-bred. From flowers to the Honeycrisp Apple.

When eugenics goes too far; the strain dies out. Humanity will die out.

[weddingforbride]

Art of Pelli Poola Jada: A Traditional Hairstyle

Indian weddings are a vibrant celebration of culture, tradition, and beauty. Among the many striking elements that make these weddings unique, one adornment stands out for its elegance and deep-rooted cultural significance: the Pelli Poola Jada. This traditional bridal hairstyle, decorated with fresh flowers, has been a timeless symbol of grace, femininity, and marital bliss, especially in South Indian weddings. In this blog, we'll explore the beauty and significance of the Pelli Poola Jada, the artistry behind its creation, and its cultural importance in modern weddings.

 What is a Pelli Poola Jada?

Pelli means wedding, and "Poola Jada" is a long flower braid. A Poola Jada is an intricate and beautifully crafted braid decorated with fresh flowers, ornaments, and other embellishments. It is a quintessential part of a South Indian bride's look, often worn during the wedding ceremony.

Traditionally, the bride's hair is braided and lengthened with a hair extension, which is then decorated with layers of fragrant jasmine, roses, marigolds, and other flowers, symbolizing purity and fertility. The floral arrangement cascades down the braid, creating a stunning visual that complements the bride's attire.

 Cultural Significance of Poola Jada

The Poola Jada is more than just a hairstyle; it is a symbol of prosperity, joy, and the beauty of womanhood. Flowers, particularly jasmine and roses, have always held a special place in Indian traditions, symbolizing freshness, fragrance, and auspiciousness. By adorning the bride with a Poola Jada, the family blesses her with a life filled with joy and prosperity.

In many parts of South India, especially in states like Andhra Pradesh, Telangana, Tamil Nadu, and Karnataka, the Poola Jada holds immense cultural importance. The hairstyle is a cherished part of the wedding rituals and is considered a sign of good fortune for the bride as she embarks on a new journey in life.

 The Artistry Behind Poola Jada

Creating a Poola Jada is no simple task; it requires skill, creativity, and attention to detail. Traditionally, the process of designing this floral braid was done by experienced women in the family, but today, professional hairstylists and florists are often employed to craft this intricate hairstyle.

Here’s how the Poola Jada is typically created

1. Braiding the Hair

The bride’s hair is first braided into a long, neat braid. In many cases, hair extensions are added to give the braid extra length and volume. This is important because the longer and thicker the braid, the more stunning the floral decorations will appear.

2. Adding Floral Garlands

Once the braid is in place, fresh flower garlands are woven into the hair. These garlands, usually made of jasmine, roses, and marigolds, are meticulously placed along the length of the braid. The choice of flowers often depends on the region and the preferences of the bride.

3. Decorating with Ornaments

Along with flowers, decorative hair accessories such as gold or silver hairpins, beads, and chains are used to add more elegance to the braid. Some brides also include tiny mirrors or other embellishments to make their hairstyle stand out.

4. Custom Designs and Patterns:  

Modern brides often choose custom designs for their Poola Jada. Some popular styles include floral patterns shaped like peacocks, lotuses, or traditional motifs that reflect the wedding theme or the bride’s heritage.

Modern Trends in Poola Jada

While the traditional Poola Jada remains a favorite, modern brides are infusing contemporary elements into the design. Today, brides are open to experimenting with different types of flowers, colors, and accessories to make their hairstyle more unique and personalized.

1. Artificial Flowers

In addition to fresh flowers, many brides opt for artificial flowers made of silk or other materials that look equally stunning and last longer throughout the day.

2. Color Themes

Brides now choose color-coordinated flowers that match their wedding attire. For instance, a bride wearing a red and gold saree may use red roses and gold embellishments to complement her look.

3. Minimalistic Poola Jada

Some brides prefer a more minimalistic approach by using fewer flowers but focusing on intricate patterns and designs that highlight the simplicity and elegance of the braid.

4. Fusion Hairstyles

Modern brides are blending traditional and contemporary styles by combining the Poola Jada with other modern hairdos, like buns or half-up styles, to create a unique and fashionable look.

Why Poola Jada Still Matters Today

Despite the influx of modern wedding trends and hairstyles, the Poola Jada continues to hold a special place in South Indian weddings. It serves as a reminder of the bride's cultural heritage and familial traditions, making it an essential part of the overall wedding experience.

The Poola Jada reflects the bride’s identity, her family’s blessings, and the continuation of time-honored traditions. While trends may evolve, the timeless beauty and significance of the Poola Jada make it a cherished and irreplaceable element in South Indian weddings.

Conclusion

The Pelli Poola Jada is more than just a beautiful hairstyle; it is a cultural treasure, rich in symbolism and tradition. As brides continue to embrace this art form with a mix of traditional and modern elements, the Poola Jada remains a captivating and meaningful part of wedding ceremonies in South India. Whether you stick to the classic style or opt for a modern twist, the Poola Jada will always be a symbol of beauty, elegance, and tradition on your special day.

FAQs

1. What flowers are typically used for a Poola Jada?  

Jasmine, roses, and marigolds are the most common flowers, but modern brides often choose other flowers to match their theme.

2. Can I use artificial flowers for my Poola Jada?  

Yes, many brides use artificial flowers for durability, especially for long events.

3. How long does it take to create a Pelli Poola Jada?  

Depending on the complexity, it can take 1-2 hours to style a Poola Jada.

4. Is the Poola Jada only for brides?  

While it's mainly worn by brides, some bridesmaids or close family members may also wear a simplified version.

5. Can the Poola Jada be customized?  

Modern brides often personalize their Poola Jada with different flowers, designs, and accessories.

[sepanbanquet]

Your Ultimate Quinceanera Checklist: What to Look for in Quinceanera Halls Near Me

The quinceanera, a cherished rite of passage in Latin culture, marks a young girl’s transition into womanhood. It’s a celebration filled with tradition, joy, and family, where every detail contributes to a tapestry of memories that will last a lifetime. At the heart of this momentous occasion is the choice of venue, a decision that sets the stage for the entire celebration. In the bustling landscape of “quinceanera halls near me,” Sepan Banquet Hall stands as a shining example of quality, representing everything families may want from a venue for this momentous occasion.

Essential Features of Quinceanera Venues When setting on the journey to find the perfect quinceanera venue, certain features stand out as indispensable. Space flexibility is paramount; the venue must accommodate the grandeur of a quinceanera, from the dance floor to the dining area and everything in between.

Aesthetic appeal cannot be overlooked, as the venue’s ambiance sets the tone for the event, and its design should resonate with the celebrant’s vision. Location also plays a crucial role, ensuring the venue is accessible for guests and situated in a setting that enhances the celebration’s charm.

Sepan Banquet Hall not only meets these criteria but exceeds them. With its spacious venues that can be transformed to fit any theme or guest list size, Sepan offers unparalleled flexibility. The hall’s elegant design, characterized by sophisticated decor and stunning architectural details, provides a picturesque backdrop for the festivities. Located conveniently, Sepan Banquet Hall stands as an epitome of what families should seek when looking for “quinceanera halls near me.“

Customization and Personalization Options A quinceanera is as unique as the young woman it celebrates, making customization a crucial aspect of the event. The ability to tailor every detail, from the color scheme to the table settings, ensures that the quinceanera reflects her personality and dreams. Sepan Banquet Hall shines in this regard, offering an extensive array of customization options that allow families to bring their vision to life.

Decor options at Sepan range from classic elegance to modern chic, ensuring that every quinceanera theme finds its perfect expression. Lighting plays a pivotal role in creating the desired ambiance, and Sepan’s state-of-the-art lighting systems can transform the space to match the celebrant’s chosen palette. Themed packages provide a starting point for planning, which can then be tailored to suit the celebrant’s specific desires, making every quinceanera at Sepan a one-of-a-kind event.

Venue Visit Tips A visit to potential quinceanera venues is a critical step in the selection process. It’s an opportunity to see the space firsthand, envision the event, and ask the vital questions that will inform your decision. When visiting Sepan Banquet Hall, take note of how the space feels; is it welcoming and warm? Does it radiate the elegance you’re looking for? Observe the layout and consider how it will accommodate your event’s flow, from the reception to the dance floor.

The staff at Sepan Banquet Hall is ready to assist during these visits, eager to answer any questions and offer insights into how the hall can cater to your specific needs. Our expertise is invaluable, providing peace of mind that every aspect of the quinceanera, from the grand entrance to the last dance, will be handled with care and professionalism.

Making Dreams Come True The journey to selecting the perfect venue for a quinceanera is filled with hope, dreams, and, most importantly, the desire to create an event that captures the essence of this significant milestone. In the search for “quinceanera halls near me,” the importance of finding a venue that not only meets but exceeds expectations cannot be overstated.

It’s about more than just a beautiful space; it’s about finding a place where every detail resonates with the celebrant’s personality, where every moment feels tailored and personal, and where every memory made is cherished for a lifetime.

Sepan Banquet Hall stands as a testament to what a quinceanera venue can offer. It’s not just the elegant ballrooms, the customizable decor, or the convenient location that sets Sepan apart; it’s the commitment to making every quinceanera a truly unforgettable celebration. From the initial planning stages to the final moments of the event, Sepan’s experienced team works tirelessly to ensure that every aspect of the celebration is executed flawlessly, reflecting the unique spirit of the young woman at the heart of it all.

The Roadmap for an Unforgettable Day As families embark on the exciting journey of planning a quinceanera, the checklist of what to look for in a venue becomes a roadmap to finding the perfect setting.

In the search for “quinceanera halls near me,” let Sepan Banquet Hall be your destination—a place where the magic of the quinceanera is celebrated with grandeur, elegance, and a heartfelt dedication to making every moment unforgettable. Choose Sepan, and step into a world where every detail is crafted with care, every wish is considered, and every celebration is an expression of joy, love, and the beautiful journey into womanhood.

[tonispencerart]

Burlesque as a Performance of Femininity

Before considering the idea of Human Life as Theatre (as prompted by my almost obsession with William Shakespeare and the TV series 'Will' - see the previous post for a little more information... if you're curious), I was exploring the idea of Burlesque as a Performance of Femininity and Womanhood... and, by extension, Gender Roles as Theatre. If you think about it, everything we think we know about s*x, and gender is entirely based on expectations, and these expectations are, inexplicably based entirely on what body parts can be seen. When you're born, someone looks at your naked body while you (probably) scream with everything you can muster as they say 'Boy' or 'Girl'. And suddenly there are Rules and Expectations on you - a tiny baby with no concept of very much at all. Everything is suddenly gendered. Clothes, bedroom paint and decor, toys, careers, and even colours are assigned as suitable for Boys or Girls. And that's before we even get to You as a person. Boys and Men are loud, unemotional, messy, strong, brave, practical, and physical. They're expected to be soldiers, doctors, scientists, firefighters, police officers, or builders, for example. Girls and Women are supposed to be quiet, delicate, emotional, irrational, caring and nurturing, and need to be protected (from what or who, exactly?) They're expected to be teachers, nurses, cleaners, homemakers and menders and make-doers, mothers, providers of food and nourishment, carers and comforting roles, or practical in an organisational way in the form of secretaries, for example. But what if you *don't* fit those very rigid moulds or expectations? If everything is an act, what if you acted differently? I looked at Burlesque performers as a source of inspiration, working with the concept of s*x, gender, and those previously mentioned stereotypes and exaggerating it - and how, perhaps, Burlesque could be seen as both a performance of femininity but also as a celebration of the Female and the Feminine. Also, it's FUN. I've mentioned previously about how much I value fun, albeit briefly. Perhaps that'll be my next post... Anyway... These are just some of the art I made using that theme. 1) Part of a final piece. Paper fan covered in ostrich feathers, with small watercolour paintings of Burlesque performers. 2) Small watercolour painting of Polly Anther. It was supposed to go on the fan, but I ran out of feathers... 3) Drypoint etching of Page 3 model and actress (unknown). 4) Drypoint etching of Debay Delux. 5) Initial paintings for feather fan. 6) Sketchbook page: Polly Anther (with reference photo) 7) Drawing of Debay Delux made using ink, dipping nib, paintbrush, and water.

[kabbalicgay]

Genuine question: what should be done in situations like that "future is female" film screenshot? As in, how do we create spaces for women and non-men that don't exclude non-men?

Don't use "non-men" - it rips off non-Black which is a term coined for the very specific type of racism that Black people experience and it is inappropriate to use it elsewhere.

Anyway, I don't think I am the end be all of people to make a decision here lol, but I would have just gone with "women" in general and made it explicit that it includes trans women. If you want to include trans narratives then make a separate workshop and event for trans people. My main issue is that tacking on such a broad category of "women and nonbinney uwu" is that it is very obvious it is meant for "women and people we think are women but we'll say they/them if we have to".

Like, I'm nonbinary, and while how I would label or describe my gender changes and isn't really fixed, I can safely say that I don't fit within "woman" as a binary category. But I wouldn't really describe it as "male" as a binary category either. Would I be included, then, though? Would I, rocking up dressed "like a man", with facial and body hair, be included? And more importantly - because here's who is truly impacted by this - would a trans woman or tma nonbinary person be included?

It's easy to see this "women and nonbinary" thing as being some sort of radical act to reject spaces dominated by men (and let's be honest, these people are thinking of cis men), but when you use such a broad and diverse category as "nonbinary" when trying to do this it's like... I know my trans tma siblings won't be welcome in the same way a tme nonbinary person will be.

[revvethasmythh]

Still, as always, thinking about how Veth's story is such a complex look at womanhood and motherhood and what it means to be a woman and a mother who wants things. Because Veth's story is about wanting, just as much as it's about learning to be brave. Veth presumably comes from a very traditional small town, married her (effectively) high school sweetheart when she was quite young and had a child almost immediately, which, while based on love, might also have been an effort to fit in and become an independent adult in her town, away from the mockery of her brothers. The things people in town didn't like about her were her strangeness and her collections of bits and bobs and oddities. The shiny things that she wanted. In some ways, that was the wedge between her and her community, the strangeness of how she desired things and wantonly kept them. Even marrying and having a kid so young could be an extension of this. Veth wants things and strives to get them

All of that in heightened after she's turned into goblin. It becomes "the itch" to steal and to horde shiny, beautiful things, which is particularly poignant considering how ugly she finds herself, even uglier than she thought of herself when she was still a halfling. She wants to surround herself with beautiful things. She wants to help Caleb. She wants to be her again. She wants.

And it's okay for Nott the Brave to want things, because Nott the Brave exists outside of social contracts. She's already a monster--there's no need to pretend to fit in. It's freeing, to be able to want things as much as you want and people won't bat an eye. As much as she hated that body, she loved the freedom it gave her. The freedom to be transgressive in a way she was unable to be as Veth Brenatto. Because, much as she loves her family, isn't being a woman and mother something of a cage to her? Those labels put her in specific boxes, they determine how she should behave. So much of later development hinges on these questions: "What does it mean to be a good woman in this society? What does it mean to be a good mother?" She is SO hard on herself for not being with Luc enough, which is absolutely understandable, but she also wants this life of adventure. Does that make her a bad person? A bad mother? To want something that isn't her family?

And then Caleb. Probably the most unfortunate thing she wants, something she knows she can never have. Because she has Yeza and she loves him and he's her husband. They have a social contract that she must abide by. But Caleb's right there and she wants him. Does that make her a bad woman? Does that make her a bad wife? It's just one more thing that makes her different from her peers, her inability to be content with what she already has. And, at the end of the day, I think this is what we should think of when we talk about Veth's relationship with motherhood and womanhood. How transgressive it is for her to so deeply desire when clearly, from the way she grew up and the messages she internalized, it wasn't a woman's place to want more than she was afforded, nor was it a mother's.