#AND MY FAVORITES ARE MEDIC AND PYRO SO....

[multiheadcanons]

THE MERCS AS SONG LYRICS BUT I WROTE THE SONGS THE LYRICS COME FROM AND THERES NO CONTEXT AT ALL BECAUSE THESE SONGS AREN’T ANYWHERE FOR YOU TO HEAR THE CONTEXT (MAYBE ONE DAY)

scout: “i’m teeny but you still look up to me so stay squeaky” i don’t know why when i go through my files that this line always stands out to me when i read it. something about it is cheeky; it’s a smart-ass, corny ass comeback to something i personally have heard most of my life. and i think scout would say “stay squeaky” as a warning too. keep your shit clean, because scout will know if it’s not. he’ll go out of his way to find out what dirt there is on you.

soldier: “and i won’t ask you to wait for me/i’ll be free all year, i guarantee” soldier is a man who moves to the militaristic beat of his own drum. he doesn’t really think he’s too far ahead, or behind, his peers. and he doesn’t need his hand held if he finds out he is either. he is content with himself. he is content even when he’s dead. and he’s always available. so nobody should be worried about him either. he can handle himself. damn. i miss you rick. you were a good man.

pyro: “you may not be the sun but baby, you are my star!” pyro is not my personal absolute favorite character (i think we all know who that is) but that doesn’t stop pyro from being one of my FAVORITE characters to write about! pyro is fascinating because i can essentially say pyro is whatever i want them to be, and as long as i’m hitting a few key points of what we do know about pyro i am well within the confines of canon. pyro is my star. they’ve grown to mean so much to me. but i’ve also never really seen a characterization of pyro that i have really liked and enjoyed; and i’m still not sure if i even like my characterization of pyro! but dammit, this pyro is my pyro. there are many others like them, but this one is mine. pyro is like an s-tier self insert.

demo: “when i get involved, it’s getting worse than intended” this whole verse that this line very specifically is in is soooo funny to me, personally. it’s explosive, it’s vicious, it’s humorous! it’s a lightning strike of so many sentences coming at you. and it’s demo the man. very particularly this line, because to me, if demo is in on something it’s about to go so far out of left field nobody will be able to stop it. he’s learned he is a man who can hear gossip, and shouldn’t get himself involved in it. doesn’t stop him from stepping in sometimes! sometimes you just need a little oomph!

heavy: “i find the bright to be a fickle kind” anyone here a legends of avantris fan? i initially wrote this while watching icebound in my car in the middle of a winter’s night, freezing my ass off because i didn’t want to turn my car on and disturb my neighbors. and i looked up, and the sky was crystal clear; and the moon was directly above me. so i wrote a love song to the winter moon, while listening to a bunch of dnd characters suffer in an icy wasteland. there’s something about big quiet men from already bitterly cold regions that i do think they have an emotional connection to the moon. to its fickle nature in appearance. and i think heavy thinks a lot about what the people who surround him say about him. something about the men he’s grown close with. they bode ill omens. he can’t shake the feeling.

engineer: “communion wine, do you think it’ll save you?” that man knows what he’s doing at all times. he has sacrificed many morals to get where he is now. and he knows there is no coming back. as nice as he may be. he’s an eternal ticking time bomb. it just depends on what’s going to blow up in his face first and take him from this realm of existence. and he knows he’s not seeing the pearly gates. he enjoys what he does far too much.

medic: “the keys lie somewhere between marrow and bone” i didn’t realize i actually wrote this song about the doctor until i went back through and read it. i actually innately understand the doctor because i am him frfr. i was genuinely going batshit insane when i wrote that, overcome and consumed by an obsession i could not and still can not let go of, and watching a lot of saw. and the only way i could let it go is when i get what i need. but it’s lodged so deep, i will have to break myself to get to it. the doctor is willing to break others to get it.

sniper: “i know what i am in.” snipes isn’t dumb. snipes is keenly aware of every decision he’s made that has gotten him to this point. the issue he finds with it is he doesn’t know where else he would go from here. he wouldn’t know what other decisions to make in the past to change what he became today. all he’s done is remain as truthful to himself as he could be; and he’s really banking on that being enough to get him by.

spy: “it sorts the foes from confidants.” spy is discerning, a purposeful and professional metaphorical button pusher. and it’s his dickish nature that is one of his best litmus tests to discern who he can trust and who he can’t. and if you’re not with spy, you are indeed against him. and he treats you accordingly.

[parasitoidism]

i'm never one to say you can't criticize something but if you were deeply disappointed in comic 7 because your fav character didn't get enough screen time or not every plot thread got addressed. you need to allow some light and happiness to enter your soul idk what else to say

[sashimew-the-cat]

The last batch of merc’s! Yay, now they’re all done! (Click for better quality)

[part 1] [part 2]

[dimeadozencows]

The drawing ideas I get when I'm washing the dishes

One of Noelle's stranger dreams

[gophergal]

Love doing studies of body variation, so *pushes these across the counter*

[artbyblastweave]

One of my favorite elements in the TF2 comics are the recurring beats implying that all things being equal Heavy would much rather be a morally righteous action hero in the tradition of Dolph or Arnie- rejoining Team Fortress to crush "evil men," implicitly doing so extensively as part of his tragic backstory, going in guns blazing to rescue a buddy from the Korean Mob, rallying everyone to go fight Merasmus's monster army during the Halloween party, getting the big climactic set piece fight with the deranged supervillain on an island base. But he's held back from the role he was born to play by his association with the Mann Family clusterfuck. He wasted the prime of his Rambo years shooting people in the desert for no reason.

Which ends up being sort a recurring beat, for many of the characters who aren't life-outcome agnostic in the manner of Pyro or Medic. Scout instantly finds extensive romantic success the second he lets go of Ms. Pauling and detaches himself from the badlands. Spy coming to terms with, and making up for lost time with, the family he was out in the Badlands to avoid. Engineer trundles along in his support capacity until his contract is up, smart enough to warn Helen's potential successor away from the same path but never able to break away from it himself until her death forced his hand- never exposing himself to the true pointlessness of the practical problem he was on retainer to solve. Demo implicitly realizing that for all his vaunted family pride in mercenary work he's spent the last several years on the second-string relief team that none of his peers took seriously. Saxton realizing that the joke of an ultramasculine adventure hero with a desk job has worn kind of thin and he's removed himself from his native genre for no real reason, to no personal fulfilment. Soldier.... is actually in the exact same general life situation but with a wife and kids along for the ride, good for him.

Ultimately it turned into a story about how the characters have outgrown the excuse plot- a story about how all of these people have much more interesting stories to be involved in, more compelling things to be doing than what we've spent the last seventeen years watching them do. And now they're free and clear and on their way.

[the-laughing-lunatic]

All 9 mercs w/ a reader who got them flowers! (PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC)

(I recently got to 20 followers on this blog! :D I wanted to do a little something to celebrate that, so I grinded and wrote headcanons for all nine of the mercs. It, uh, took a while so I hope you enjoy!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 

☆Scout - Daisies☆

Legitimately starts tearing up

Tries to blame it on the flowers

“I ain’t cryin’ I- I’m just allergic to flowers.”

“Oh, sorry, I could just return them then—”

“What? You’d hafta take ‘em out of my dead hands, I’m keepin’ em.”

Isn’t a huge flower guy but the fact you went out of your way to get them for him makes him feel all warm inside

Reminds him of when his mom would pick flowers to give to him after his Little League games

☆Soldier - Poppies☆

Would aggressively compliment you

“THESE ARE DAMN BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS MAGGOT!! I FEEL IMMENSELY LOVED AND APPRECIATED!!!”

Seriously though, he does

Since he was never allowed in the military he always felt jealous of the soldiers who got special flowers

But he wasn’t now, because you respected him

And if you did, that was enough

☆Pyro - Sunflowers☆

ABSOLUTELY LOVES THEM

Well, you can’t hear what they’re saying but the flappy hands and excited noises give you a decent idea

Will just spend hours holding them in their hands and looking at the flowers like they’re the most beautiful thing in the world

Draws sunflowers in all their drawings now

If they accidentally burned them they would get so sad and give you flowers back as a form of apology

Make flower crowns with them. Do it. 

☆Demoman - Bluebells☆

Like most of the mercs, he’s never gotten flowers before 

And he has no clue how to take care of them

“Thank ye, but, would ye consider showin’ me how to take care of them?”

Help this man out

Please

He would probably put them just on a table with no vase or water without you

Y’all would put the flowers in an empty bottle of scrumpy <3

☆Heavy - Violas☆

“Little merc has present for Heavy?” 

Surprised, but not so much as Sniper

Honestly the most chill about it out of all the mercs

He has sisters so he knows how to take care of flowers but he’s never been the one to receive them

Would press the flowers once the start to wilt and make bookmarks so he can keep them forever (sap)

And if he’s more protective of you during matches, who's to say the reason why?

☆Engineer - Bluebonnets☆

He sticks to the practical side of things, so when you give him a bouquet of flowers he’s utterly perplexed

He’s flattered of course, and thanks you greatly for the gift because he’s a Texas boy raised with manners

But he’s not used to pretty things and…doesn’t quite know what to do with them

He puts them in a vase with water but he finds himself stopping his work to look at them

They didn’t solve a problem, they didn’t hold a purpose yet people–including him now–seemed to love them

Eventually gives up trying to find a reason for it and just accepts it as they’re just pretty

Even though solving questions like “what is beauty” was never his forte, he’d somehow found an answer for it

And it was…well, you.

(He’d also 100% make you a flower out of scrap metal for you bc he’s a gentleman)

☆Medic - Cornflowers/Drosera Spatulata Sundew☆

There’s two flowers that he’d like

Cornflowers are one of his favorites, specifically the white ones (they remind him of Archimedes)

Not just because they are national flowers of Germany, but he also appreciates their medicinal properties

But if you somehow got your hands on a Drosera Spatulata Sundew he’d be pocketing you for months afterwards

Is absolutely fascinated with carnivorous plants and you get him carnivorous flowers???

The most romantic (or just super cool if platonic) thing in the world to him

Isn’t a botanist but he’ll be in the medbay all the time now just observing it and its reactions

He’s not sleeping for a while

He’d try to create a serum for whatever flowers you got him so they’d stay as beautiful as they are forever :)

☆Sniper - Wildflowers☆

No one has ever gotten him flowers before so when you show up at his camper van with hand picked flowers wrapped in twine he’s surprised, to say the least

Finds it interesting how he walked past those same flowers everyday and never cared

But when you gave them to him they felt…special.

Awkwardly mumbles a ‘thanks mate’ to you

Keeps them in an (UNUSED I REPEAT UNUSED) jar in his van

Smiles everytime he sees them

☆Spy - Roses☆

We all know this man is an old-fashioned lover boy so ofc he loves roses

But he’s never on the receiving end of them

So none are ever good enough for his high standards

“Eugh, where did you buy these, the gas station?”

Similar to Scout that if you say you could return them he’d absolutely refuse

Secretly thinks it’s really sweet 

Doesn’t act any differently towards you afterwards when he’s with you

But you find multiple bouquets of roses in your room and a note that says “if you ever consider buying me flowers again, buy roses from these boutiques instead of the trash you had before.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 

(Putting in all the tags is another reason why I don't normally do all nine of them holy shit)

[magic-worms]

Hii umh kicks a rock do you have any headcanons about tf2 Mercs or info I love listening to ppl talk about their own headcanons and ideas sm especially when they make the blu and the red team different info so yeah also I wanna know what are you fav ship if ur comfortable with that okay by-gets hit by a truck 💔

oh you bet i’ve got more redblu headcanons!

i wish i could just dump all my thoughts about the teams and their traits/relationships/personalities at once but it’d be way too dense for one post. i think about these guys a Lot. so for the purpose of this ask i’ve compiled some more select crumbs! starting with a few characters whose nationalities & ethnicities i’ve updated since my last ref sheet post:

scouts and spies! i like to think that depending on which side you look at, you’ll find that they have veeery different relationships with each other, which impacts how they work together (well vs. hmm. not very well at all)

the blu and red scouts have diverging skills, too- blu scout is a lot stealthier, having learned from his dad, while red scout is a harder hitter. i REALLY want to talk about the scouts’ mothers too but that would be a whole dedicated post of its own!!

+ accompanying colored doodles to the above things. i love drawing these three characters in particular

and probably my favorite thing to explore whenever i think about the two teams: their relationships with and impressions of each other, varied by factors like their personalities, circumstances, what happens to them on and off duty, etc.

take these few classes on each side, for instance:

generally speaking, all three of them on either team work well together, but certain unique factors at play have driven some of them closer or given them ranged opinions on each other. red medic and demo are BFFs, whereas blu medic/demo aren’t quite past the “friends of a friend/awkward colleagues” social barrier. blu pyro and demo are even closer, while their red versions hold each other at a friendly arm’s length with no hard feelings involved.

of course, there are some much more polarized team differences to be seen in some of the other classes’ relationships with each other (see above: scouts and spies) but i thought an example like the one above with more subtleties (?) between characters illustrated what i’m talking about better.

(bear in mind that i see the mercs and their counterparts as separate and independent people, completely unrelated but uncannily similar in appearance. they’ve all questioned it before themselves, but honestly? not even the administrator knows what causes the phenomenon where she keeps hiring doppelgängers. sometimes things ARE pure coincidence and that makes it funnier)

thanks for the ask! get well soon from the truck accident!

[prettyboypistol]

TF2 Mercs x Romantic M!Reader

Scout

Has never had anyone pull out the stops for him. He's the youngest of 7, his life has been full of hand-me-downs and overlooking.

When you hand him a bouquet of roses he actually fucking cries.

Dinner, a movie while holding hands, cuddling under the stars? God, he feels like a princess in a disney movie and you're his prince charming

Soldier

He's touched, really, he is! But has a hard time expressing it. He gives you a big ol' kiss and thanks you with a smile, but is lowkey pretty awkward when you offer to dance with him.

He looooved the homecooked dinner you made for him- after all, restaurants aren't really his scene. Course after course if just amazing!

Afterwards, you convince him to slowdance/cuddledance with you while whispering sweet nothings into his ear. He blushed so hard you can feel the heat on his cheeks.

Pyro

OH MY GOD??? ALL THIS FOR ME??? THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

Well, that's what you think they signed to you as they blubbered tearfully and hugged you. You decorated the recreation room with streamers of deep red and had a bowl of icecream to share while watching a movie!

Their favorite part is when you lit the streamers on fire, making a brief flaming heart.

Demoman

What's better than a roadtrip and sightseeing in a new place? You two snuck out and drove to Dallas for a long weekend out. It took you eons to convince the Administrator for a long weekend too, so it was extra heartfelt!

Big foods, big hats, and big inside jokes nobody else will understand, most of all- you take Demoman out to light fireworks in the desert. Big ones.

With all the clamoring to see the light show, Demoman is elated to kiss you in public with nobody noticing.

Engineer

Going to his favorite museum of engineering and listening to him talk is what Dell found most heartstopping. That dopey look of love as you listened intently had him in a chokehold.

Brushing the backs of your hands together feels more scandalous than holding your hand as you give him a teasing wink.

After, you cook his favorite meal? "Oh darlin', you're an angel."

Heavy

Doesn't know how to react at first, insisting he doesn't need to be spoiled. Then you pull out the handknitted mittens with bear paws on the inside and he's all the way on board to let you spoil him like a king.

You get a thank you kiss for everything you do, a promise to repay the favor later (;P) with every surprise you give him.

Oh boy does he, the more you love on Heavy, the more he loves on you.

Sniper

Survivalist camping with him over the weekend is how you win his heart. He sees you fishing at the crack of dawn and you just smile at him and hand him a pole. The comfortable silence has him blushing like a poppy.

Play wrestle this man. Play wrestle him and win. Pin this man to the ground with a playful yet exerting smile and he will never forget the moment until the day he does and then some. Then kiss him. Do it.

Spy

Ah, a nice restaurant where he doesn't have to worry about the bill, a gala where he doesn't have to assassinate anyone, and a handsome man he isn't obligated to sleep with for information- this is the perfect date!

He's quite the flirt as well, but as long as you can keep up with him, you'll win out in the end with your romance attack modifiers of the date on your side.

Dancing with him is a must, even if you're bad, it's still overwhelmingly charming to Spy.

Medic

YOU BOUGHT HIM NEW SYRINGES AFTER HIS OLD ONES SNAPPED???? AWWW YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE!!!

Much like Spy, Medic loves a fancy dinner and dancing, but he likes the thrill of a mission to help digest his food. That's why you two break into the blood donation truck and take some especially weird samples of blood that you find.

While the police chase you, you two share a kiss. Be gay, do crime!

[lunatic-pudge]

Scout, Pyro, Demo, Medic, Sniper, and Spy Relationship Headcanons

Can you tell which ones are my absolute favorite:')

Scout

• Unsurprisingly, it takes him a long time to get over his infatuation of Ms. Pauling (I'm 110% convinced she's a lesbian), so you must be basically a deity to be catching his attention (though he'd the type to flirt with EVERYONE)

• Golden retriever energy, also youngest child energy. Constantly wants to do everything for you but also needs constant attention. He's also used to be getting picked on by the other mercs and his older brothers so he'll be going to you for validation. But he also doesn't want to appear weak so it'll take some time to break through his (fragile) shell.

• Love language: physical touch and acts of services. Will be constantly trying to act like a macho man for you but will also beg to hold your hand. Cuddles are constant. He may not be good at being a handyman, but my gods he's gonna try his darndest. Plz tell him that he did a good job, he's trying his best.

• He's the best person to go to if you wanna go on randon and unexpected adventures. One minute you're both in Teufort, the next your across country at the beach up east coast. Poor thing gets yelled at a lot for just uping and leaving without notice.

• Local snack dealer. Ma is always making sure that he's got sweets on hand. His room has care packages from her with some of the most wholesome letters from her and the box if FILLED to the brim with sweets, treats, and soda

Pyro

• My little baby boo, a wholesome partner who would kill for you. Can get jealous very easily so you might have to hold them back from committing manslaughter.

• Love language: quality time and gift giving. Time with Pyro is time well spent. Constantly just wants to be in the same room with you. They don't do well when you're not around. Also loves to give gifts. Most of their gifts consit of stuffed animals and handmade drawings. Your room will be filled with gifts from this goofball.

• In my opinion, they're a lot more there than people realize. Some days are better than others though. They were literally CEO of an engeneering company! And I believe they made all their weapons to but I could be wrong on that. Homie is definitely reliable when they're having a good day, but on the bad days, just sit and spend time with them. You don't gotta say anything, just knowing your right there beside them is enough conformation to know you'll always be there no matter what.

• You two are little troublemakers. You'll constantly be up to no good with them. It seems like harmless fun, but you've both almost burnt down the base five times just this month!

Demoman

• Probably one of the best lovers you could have out of all the mercs (aside from Engie, they're competing for the number one spot). I'm deducting points cause of the nonstop alcohol consumpution. :(

• But he is a happy goofy dunk so thank gods for that. Always happy to be here. Very attentive, caring, cuddly, overall a good person to date or even just be friends with.

• Cause the constant alcohol ruined a good portion of his memory (and Medic as well), he writes down every little detail of you that he can in a little journal he secretly keeps on his person. Important dates, likes, dislikes, ect. The man has it on file in case of emergencies.

• Love language: gift giving and act of services. He works three jobs and makes over 5 mil a year, he's LOADED. He's gonna buy you the world if you ask. Definitely good at money managing so he never worried at how much gifts cost. He's also gonna try his darndest to help you out with any problems, though it can be a bit hard when you're constantly drunk. Hims trying his best, okay?

• Wants his mom to approve of you but knows how critical she is of him. Poor baby has some self-esteem issuses cause of her so please give him lots of love and support. It's hard when your mom never has anything nice to say about you and compares you to everyone else. It's a neverending struggle. :(

Medic

• You're definitley into weird and questionable people if you like this man, and that means we're best friends now. :D

• He will ask you to help him out with surgeries and organizing his lab. You're hims little nurse. He'd probably (absolutley) be getting you a nurse outfit with his symbol on it.

• He's very much the possessive type. What's his is HIS, no if, ands, buts, or questions about it. Would put a tracker in you so he knows where you are at all times, but someone would have to talk him out of doing it... for now...

• Constantly talks about you to his birds, if any on them ever have babies, he's naming one after you. Would get you a stuffed dove plushie to cuddle with at night when he can't be there with you

• Love language: physical touch and quality time, you're ALWAYS welcomed in his lab, in fact, he expects you to be there with him. Is the type to ask you to grab something and will graze his hands against yours when grabbing it from you. (then give a shit eating smirk afterwards) He'd also be the type to stand VERY close to you, and stand behind you in an intimidating way to keep others from talking to you.

Sniper

• This man is my all time baby boy so I have LOTS to say about him and how much I love him :')

• Is someone who takes a while to get close to, especially in a romantic way. He's just a shy little boy who's used to being alone. But isn't introverted, just has introverted tendencies (you literally see him hanging out with some of the other mercs in Expiration Date)

• Love language: words of affirmations and physical touch, he sucks at verbally saying how he feels about you but will leave cute little love notes around for you to find. He's also VERY touched-starved so he will just flat out lay on top of you if you let him. Loves hearing you say how much you love him, plz just hold his hands and say how much he means to you, he might just cry from it.

• Is also someone who goes on random adventures, but they're usually just out and away from everyone. But I could see him taking you to a zoo or aquarium to look at the animals. But you're not allowed to go to a Humane Society cause you'll be walking out with all the animals they have and raising them like they're your babies,

Spy

• Another gremlin who takes a long time to warm up to you. He's a grumpy old man who's never really been with someone in such a serious light (aside from Scout's Ma)

• Love language: gift giving and words of affirmation, another merc who would buy you the world if you asked. Will only buy you the best of the best and will throw hands with someone if it's not up to his standards. He could go on about his love for you. His words sound like poetry. You'd wake up with a bouquet of roses and one of the most beautiful love letters anyone has ever read.

• Is 50/50 on PDA, he'll wrap an arm around your waist, call you beautiful, and give you a peck on the cheek in front of others but that's about it. Any extreme PDA is to be in private or you're getting a scolding.

• Would definitely help you learn French. He's way more patient with you than anyone else. You've seen him yell and insult every merc a couple times (Scout getting the brunt of it), but he refuses to ever say anything negative about you

• Definitely the bragging type. He'll put you on a pedestal and go on about how gorgeous you are. How you were crafted by gods, and so on. He thinks he's better than everyone else so if you're with him, than you're right up there with him.

[multiheadcanons]

TF2 MERCS AND EYES

scout: blue-raspberry blue. artificially blue. matches his energy drinks. uv reactive from the mass amounts of chemicals in his bonk. they glow (quite literally) when he’s planning some nefarious shit. narrow, and upturned. he always looks mischievous. blue like a neon sign. his eyes are probably brighter.

soldier: blue like a cloudless american morning babeyy. big fuckin eyeballs. there is not a flaw in the brilliance of the blue in his eyes, not a speck of green, nothing to break the unyielding blue. when his eyes are not wide with crazed bloodlust, he actually looks quite friendly. like a dog. a large dog with an extensive bite history.

pyro: they… are eyes. and they do… work. has an astigmatism. no peripheral vision at all. most everything in the real world is a blur to them and no, they don’t wear glasses, or contacts. their job hasn’t been harder without them, so it’s not something they see as necessary. if you look deep enough into the mask, you can tell the mask is looking back at you.

engineer: i’m gonna stand so tall when i say this. we do not have a canon eye color for engie, so i’m gonna say he is a member of the beautiful brown eyes committee. big doll eyes with dark, murky brown irises, like staring at an oil spill. they almost look out of place when he takes his goggles off. nobody expects to see two large pools of ink on his face, even as the sun hits them it’s just darkness. darkness and whirlpools and popped gas bubbles in the murk.

demo: the chapter president of the beautiful brown eye club. warm, like scotch and spices. has flecks of a bright copper within the iris, and a dark ring around it. got those eye freckles. such unimaginably long lashes, he’s so pretty when he’s looking up at you through them. the other socket is empty. he doesn’t see the point in having a glass eye. that doesn’t give him his sight back, just makes others feel better about themselves. prefers having eyepatches. has one in every color to match anything. the team is always taken aback when he wears a different colored eyepatch. and not to be biased… but they like him in red.

heavy: such a pale blue, it’s stunning. he’s got that husky issue sometimes where his teammates don’t want to approach him because he looks so mad. pale blue like the desperate search for the sky through a mist. pale blue like aquamarine. splashes of a soft, dull green just outside the pupil. downturned. wears reading glasses. they’re so light they generally take color from reflections in his eyes. they can look grey or hazel, even, really just depends on what he’s wearing.

medic: scarily brilliant blue. like electric blue like a lightning strike blue. the only thing that protects you from a horrific stare is his glasses. the glare from his glasses helps so much. has a dark blue ring around his iris that seeps into the main blue; which is icy. it just makes that icy blue brighter. if you look in his eyes too long you will get lost. the blues all start to swirl eventually. he’s got that husky syndrome bad. he always looks mischievous at best and downright terrifying at worst. his glasses don’t fit anymore, so if he gets jostled too much they fall off.

sniper: i will once again invite hardship into my life with this: snipes got hazel eyes. they are mainly, a pale green dominant hazel, with touches of amber near his pupils and the spattering of a dull blue on the outer edge. they almost look blue against the red, because it’s against the red of his uniform that you can tell his eyes aren’t entirely green. and with the blue of the opposing uniform, they look green, because you can tell they’re not entirely blue.

spy: member of the human-looking blue eyes club. dark, dull and flawed, specks of brassy green throughout the irises. normally half lidded because he is exhausted. also usually bloodshot. long, curled eyelashes. his canthal tilt is zero. his face is normally set very neutrally, so his eyes don’t make him look nefarious and distrustful. frankly he can’t hide anything behind his eyes. they’re very expressive when combined with his eyebrows.

[fire-bugged]

Hello gang!

How are you on this fine day? Hope you are fine. Well today is my birthday!!! 🎉 I wanted to know how the mercs would celebrate with us. I'm fine you writing any merc so go crazy 😼

Anyways, take care and remember to stay hydrated 😈

Happy Birthday, Anon! I hope you had a wonderful birthday, and I hope you enjoy these headcanons!

Mercenaries Celebrate Your Birthday

Scout

- Probably forgot it was your birthday. But when someone else (or you) remind him, he’s immediately excited.

- Whips out one of his Ma’s birthday cake recipes from when he was a little kid. It’s a simple cake, just one layer with some frosting slathered on top, but it’s still pretty good!

- As for gifts, he gets you something a few days later. He’ll get you some snacks that you love, but are difficult to find in New Mexico. It’s not much, but he still hopes you’ll enjoy it.

Soldier

- Soldier is insanely good at remembering important dates, including birthdays.

- Instead of the usual trumpet-blaring and shouting the USA national anthem to wake everyone up in the morning, he’s yell-singing “Happy Birthday” at the top of his lungs

- Gives you a strong pat on the back and congratulates you on another year of fighting the good fight. Now go forth and beat the crap out of whatever the next year of your life is going to throw at you!

- At the end of the day, you find a box in your room with a note attached that simply says “Use it well”. Inside, you find a worn, but still very sharp shovel. Perfect for beating people over the head with.

Pyro

- They absolutely remember your birthday, and they are very excited about it.

- They make you some cupcakes that are only slightly overcooked, as well as covered in mountains of frosting and sprinkles. They give them to you while mumbling to the tune of “happy birthday”.

- As for presents, they like giving lots of small trinkets. Whether you like pretty rocks, silly pens, trading cards, plushies, miniature figures, anything of that sort. They’ll always be able to find a bunch of small things you’ll like!

Demoman

- He gets pretty excited when he realizes your birthday is coming up. When he was a kid, he never really got to celebrate his birthday all that much due to spending his childhood an orphan. But now he loves celebrating them regardless of whose birthday it is.

- Sets up a bunch of things at a good bar near the base. There’s darts, pool, foosball, beer pong, and of course, plenty of drinks and good food to go around. He makes sure the whole team is there, celebrating with you and having a good time.

- You mean a lot to him, and he wants to make sure you have a birthday you’ll always look back fondly on.

Heavy

- He remembers birthdays very well, as they are important in his family. To Heavy, you are close enough to be considered family.

- Back home, birthdays were often celebrated with lots of food and good drinks, and he’ll do the same for you. He gets together with a few of the other members of the team that you’re close with, and they all work to make a lot of rich, filling dishes that he knows you’ll enjoy.

- He also sets up Poker with the entire team. Jokes are made, drinks are had, money is won and lost, and it’s a great time for all.

- You are surrounded by friends, and you are loved. That is the best gift he can possibly give to you.

Engineer

- He knew your birthday was coming up, and he made sure to prepare ahead of time.

- He works for most of the day, so you don’t see him much until the evening. He cooks your favorite meal for dinner, complete with delicious side dishes that complement it perfectly. He makes sure to make more than enough for there to be leftovers, allowing you to enjoy the food for the next couple of days, as well.

- If you have any creative hobbies (or have been wanting to start a new hobby) he will gift you the supplies needed for it, as well as tools of his own making. He built them himself with specific measurements and materials to best suit you.

Medic

- Always remembers birthdays. Being the team’s doctor, it’s important for him to remember these sorts of details!

- He wouldn’t be able to do much, due to the fact that he still has to work. Today being your birthday won’t prevent someone from getting shot or blown up, after all. But he will still cheerfully wish you a happy birthday when he sees you.

- If you take any medications, he’ll tie a little bow on your refill when he gives it to you. But when you open it up later to take your medication, you find a little note inside:

- “Happy birthday mein freunde! Wishing you another year of good health! :)”

Sniper

- Pretty chill about birthdays, doesn’t take them too seriously.

- When he finds out it’s your birthday, he’ll give you a nod and a smile, wishing you “happy birthday, mate”.

- Towards the end of the day, he’ll come to you with a couple of drinks you like and just hang out. You’ll just have a good ol’ time sitting back in some lawn chairs and chatting about whatever while watching the sun go down.

Spy

- Doesn’t really share the excitement surrounding birthdays. Nonetheless, he still remembers when they occur, and that includes yours.

- If you mention it to him, he’ll give you a curt “Happy Birthday”, and won’t say anything else about it.

- But later in the day, a small box will appear on your bedside table. There’s no note to reveal who had left it there or what it was for, but deep down, you knew the answer to both of these questions. Inside is a small, but very expensive and high quality accessory that you’ve always wanted. You never told anyone about it, but it seems you didn’t need to.

- The first time you wear it, you swear you see the tiniest trace of a smile on Spy’s face.

[rainderthesomeone]

A collection of photos from @quazies new little pootis episode go watch it it’s really adorable :D

Now here’s a collection of my favorite scenes from the new pootis episode :D

He’s so stubby looking XD

Goober energy.

What a distinguished gentalwoman

Hey uh…I think Pyros chargin up there solar Ray powers…

Emisis Red Real?!

Aw the fam :)

No talk they angy

He’s about to teach pootis the old way of playing outside

Medic happy:) also really really competitive

[cause0fchaos]

Alr heres my TF2 ships that I like / am uncomfortable with because nobody asked 🤩

Now the thing with me is that I'm am NOT a multi shipper, if I like one ship the most, then that is the one I'm going to be sticking with, every other ship just becomes 'meh' to me. It's also just a matter that I really dont see any dynamics between other characters once I already have one ship.

My favorite Ships:

Heavy x Medic Ofc. Also any other variation of Heavmedic (bluexblue, emesis blu, ect just as long as it isnt Red x Blue)

Engie x Spy (I also like Red x Red, Blue x Blue but mainly Red engie and Blue spy because I like the Red Spyma ship as well. And Blue Engie and Spy because of Little Pootis)

Soilder x Zhanna (God they are so cute, only straight ship I support ong /j)

Soilder x Demo (Yes.)

Scout x Sniper (They're cute, but not one of my absolute favorites, probably just bc I think scout is odd)

I think that's really it for those ones, As I said I dont have a lot 🤷‍♂️

Now the stuff I'm uncomfortable with.

Scout with really any other merc besides Sniper. Like yea hes a consenting adult, but like I WOULD NOT GET WITH SOMEONE OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY FATHER. I also dont see him working well with any of the other mercs, not at all.

Any of the 'cest' ships, Like Medic x Medic ect. This one to me is more personal because I'm am an Identical Twin and I would never get with someone who looks exactly like me. Its just super hella weird to me and makes me squirm.

Pauling with any of the mercs. Like erm, I could see scout but that's one sided. But like my girl is very clearly a lesbian or something and shes far too sophisticated for the other merc's bullshit.

PYRO WITH ANYONE. To me Pyro is Aroace. I also dont see Pyro taking their mask let alone suit off for anyone. Also wasnt some sort of filter attached to their lungs or something idk.

And then ofc the obvious things yk, like.. gross Scout and spy, Icky yuck.

Anyway this isnt any disrespect towards people who do ship any other things, I just dont care for many of them an I'm quite honestly close minded about my ships 🤷‍♂️

[scozthewoz]

mercs as cat breeds + kitty merc headcanons

inspired by/in collaboration with @joonliebe (i changed a few of them sorry pookie 💔)

kitty headcanons are from my cat fortress AU where all the mercs are cats that are foster fails because nobody wants those motherfuckers and now miss pauling is stuck with them all

spy ▪︎ persian - fancy and high maintenance. the signature bond villain cat

likes to be alone. needs to be taken to the groomer once a week or he gets pissed off and starts tearing up the couch. he has a very strict schedule and if his terms are not followed he throws a tantrum. he also sneaks out of the house and dissapears frequently. a dick to the rest of the cats, except scout for some reason.

heavy ▪︎ siberian - big boys with big coats, comes from siberia

the most well behaved cat there. scarred up and scary looking from his time in the pound, but he's suprisingly very quiet and peaceful. naturally chunky and big boned. miss pauling's favorite. he's a bonded pair with medic, they can normally be found grooming each other. he tends to wrangle scout when he's being too much, he doesn't like to see miss pauling stressed.

pyro ▪︎ sphynx - just a weird lookin thing. also an affectionate and energetic breed that likes to wreak havoc

peculiar little intersex kitty covered in burns, owners died in a house fire (that she may or may not have caused). both eyes are gone, but she navigates just fine. knows how to turn the stove on and has set multiple small fires. miss pauling puts him in cute little sweaters since he doesn't have any fur to keep him warm.

sniper ▪︎ savannah - hybrid of a house cat and a wild serval

very solitary, like spy, but not hostile to the others. owners were an old couple that died and it shook up the already shy cat. miss pauling doesn't need to feed him like the others since he sneaks out and hunts his own meals. almost completely silent unless he's sitting at the window and chirping at birds. evident dislike for spy. quiet and low maintenence so not a huge headache, but he tracks mud in the house. he's very skittish too, runs off or hides whenever there's company.

medic ▪︎ turkish angora - graceful. very majestic. cunty, even

on paper, he seems like a very good cat! he's an ex-service animal that still carries out some service tasks, like deep pressure therapy when miss pauling is getting anxious or retrieving stuff. only problem is that he loves bringing dead things inside, and he goes out of his way to rip it to shreds and get blood and guts ALL over the house. he also has a temper issue, and he needs little kitty glasses because his eyesight is shit.

engineer ▪︎ munchkin - haha short legs!! oh yeah, and they're pretty smart

used to be a workshop cat around for pest control, lost a leg in an accident. workshop guys gave him a kitty sized hardhat he gets very upset without. he's got a hard time jumping up on stuff since he not only has short legs, but he's got a prosthetic one too, so miss pauling made him a few kitty staircases up to his favorite spots. he likes stealing tools from neighbors and and scrap metal from outside and stashes them under the couch.

demoman ▪︎ scottish fold - scottish, prone to eye problems

missing an eye and has some singed fur from teens with fireworks. little kitty eyepatch. he frequently gets into the bailey's irish cream miss pauling keeps on top of the fridge and has to be brought to the vet for liver issues at least once a month.

soldier ▪︎ ragdoll - developed in america !!🇺🇸 tend to rough house when playing and are very vocal

used to belong to a war veteran, then became a stray after he died. clipped ear. his body's kept shaved because of scarring and matting issues, so he's got furry boots and a puffball tail, but the fur on his noggin covers his eyes. he frequently bothers the others. a big sweetheart for miss pauling, but agressive with anyone else. likes fetch. dog in a cat body.

scout ▪︎ siamese - the extroverts of the cat world, very energetic and chatty, also very clever.

his ma and brothers are all siamese, but he's got an oddly fluffy tail like a persian.. he's a big fan of miss pauling, never leaves her alone. gets pissy and scratches the curtains or breaks a glass when she's giving one of the other cats too much attention. wayyy too clingly and always causing some sort of trouble or getting into places he shouldn't. he also meows CONSTANTLY.

[supernova41st]

TF2 BEDROOMS 🛏️

*for funnies

Spy

You’ll never see this bitch with a messy room, he deep cleans it every night just before showering. 100% uses bed mist and yankee candles. Sleeps in button up pajamas with matching pants. He has those silk sheets that he’s always used and cleans them every week. No MEALS will enter his room. He’d bring in things like cookies with coffee or a croissant with tea but nothing huge. His room smells heavenly compared to everyone else’s.

Sniper

It smells like smoke but there’s no fire, why. He definitely tries to keep a clean space but he’s always busy. He’ll do this thing where it gets really messy, like really messy and then he suddenly deep cleans it. Hasn’t washed his bedsheets in years tho. Dirty coffee cups are everywhere, the counter the bed the glovebox. He kinda just lives in his own little world, he would like to keep it clean if he had the time but again he’s a busy man.

Scout

Where do I even start. He has the most teenage boy bedroom ever-it’s like this bitch never grew out of his messy room phase. Crushed cans of Bonk everywhere, beanbag chair, posters of playboy models all over the wall, action figures, and a pile of dirty laundry just chilling in the corner. Does clean his room but it’s gonna take a LOT for him to be willing to do that. It smells like axe body spray and sweat.

Pyro

My little princess 💕 has the most Girlypop child bedroom ever. Literally never gets messy, the messiest you’ll find it is a pile of my little pony figurines on the floor. Even then they still clean it up, a princess cleans after themself. The only merc that has ever seen their room was scout, immediately shut the door when he saw pyro have a tea party with their plushies. Has never invited anyone over to his room but if they wanted to join in on a tea party they’d be so happy.

Medic

He doesn’t have a bedroom, all he has is his desk. Yeah he almost never sleeps but when he does it’s on his desk, probably the most comfortable thing he’s laid on in years. Like sniper, he tries to keep his area clean but is a busy guy. The most he’s ever decorated his desk is using his favorite mug that says ‘world’s best surgeon’ as a pencil cup. Which he bought himself.